Friday, June 20, 2008

Dear Waitress,

Just because I'm the type of person who would take my kids to a karaoke bar on a Friday night (although to be fair, it is a chickee hut, and at least around these parts, that makes it acceptable) where people are smoking and handicapped enough to believe they can sing, does NOT mean I want to see camel toe.

Say it with me people, LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. Nor should they ever be worn as such. Especially while you are serving food.

I mean, it wasn't Hooters (not quite as classy), I was not expecting to have to see moose knuckle while I tried to eat my cheeseburger. I was embarrassed for you, and embarrassed for noticing, but how could I not?

The entertainment was worth every dollar (of my parents' money), it was a human freak show up in that joint. Luckily, Big Kid was transfixed by the words on the karaoke screen and didn't seem to notice that they make paint thicker than those pants. Thankfully, you weren't our waitress.

Otherwise, it was good times. little kid ran around the table with a plate of ice, Big Kid was stuck in karaoke screen trance, and my mom is completely unable to conceal her look of mortified disgust for the bad karaokers, so that's good entertainment in itself. My dad does not realize that his voice can't carry across the table while some heifer is singing "Redneck Woman" directly behind me, so I was forced to discuss politics and current events by screaming across the table and yelling "What?"

Anyway, I'm sure it's embarrassing enough to work in a joint like that (although endlessly entertaining, I'm sure), so I'm thinking you should rethink the pants. Or lack thereof.

Quite Frankly,


Tiffany said...

Well I'm glad that I wasn't the only one with a horrible restaurant experience. At least you weren't verbally accosted. Blah - you'll have to read about it on my blog - too much to type here. Sorry about the camal toe - its sad when people don't look in the mirror before they leave the house.

My Charmed Life said...

I laughed so hard at you calling it moose knuckle. OMG...I died and then had to read it to my husband to enjoy a laugh with me.

You are hilarious!!

Anonymous said...

The moose knuckle is too funny! I hate when you try not to notice something but just can't help it!

Glad you all had a fun night out though!


Lynda Kay said...

OK. for some reason I can't leave a comment on the above post (never seen that before but the link is just not under the post on my computer) Anyway, I never realized you were a fan of "over the rainbow" (how many years have I known you?) ANYWAY...check out this super cute 6 yr old Connie Talbot,singing it so beautifully you'll cry..this girl's going somewhere with that voice!

BTW- I always thought it was girls that had camel toes & that it was the guys in their too-tight jeans that had moose knuckles...i'm old though, I could be wrong..

Mrs. Schmitty said...

OMG...thanks for the visual...NOT! I almost spit my lunch at the computer screen...thanks for the Sunday laugh!

Lipstick said...

Thank you for posting on the Tim Russert rainbow. It inspired me to post as well. And while I'm at it...thanks for your blog too-it always me smile.

Carly said...

Walking to work this morning I saw a girl wearing purple leggings with drawn on seams, pockets, buttons, and even a faux zipper. Ummm, even with clever embellishments...leggings are still not pants!