Healing Today with Robert Buhrow, LMFT

Los Angeles Couples, Marriage, Trauma, Addictions Counseling

Addictions, Couples/Marriage counseling in Los Angeles, CA

What services are offered and how is your approach different than others?

  • First, an Encourager Approach is evident
  • Second, the Consumer is asked what benefits he wants to gain from therapy
  • An evaluation of what is working is done on intake
  • Consumer is asked to rate from lowest to highest, areas necessary for change
  • Monthly goal assessments are performed
  • Strengths improved/weaknesses modified
  • MMPI (Personality test), Self-esteem, and communication tests are performed to better assess issues
  • Court ordered treatment for Anger Management/Drug Abuse: court progress reports as needed
  • Sober Mentoring offered for celebrities, musicians, and executives who need to be allowed to work and travel while recovering
  • When individuals want a more Faith-based approach to the counseling, to address their spiritual/religious issues, this too is offered, along with an extensive resource for books on the spiritual concept of emotional/relational healing
  • The entire therapeutic approach considers the three parts that compose a human: Physical, Emotional/Mental, and Spiritual
  • Customized Individual/Family therapy program available with retainer fee, offering 24 hour therapeutic intervention by calling (213)910-7440

No matter the severity, hope is possible. Whether the problem is simply personal decision making, family or couples relational issues, trauma, abuse, a teen-at-risk, substance abuse, or eating disorder, solutions are available

How long do I need to go to therapy?

It depends on the severity of the problem and the willingness of the soul.

  • Children with nightmares (from abuse) have been helped in two sessions*
  • Teens at risk for drug abuse/criminality: 4-15 sessions*
  • Adult personal issues/substance abuse: 4-12 sessions*
  • Marital counseling 6-12 sessions*

*Period of success is dependent on the commitment to the tools offered during the therapy session; the aforementioned examples are not guarantees of treatment time, as each case must be evaluated individually.

For help call: (213)910-7440, really what are you waiting for?? Call, you will be so relieved that you did.

Each Problem has underlying causes, what is on the "surface" is often just symptoms.

Eating Disorder has no single cause but rather a multitude of variables take a pathogenic route and increase the risk of one's potential to developing and ED. ED's includes the idea of a thin body symbolizing self-discipline, control, independence, and attractiveness. The physical appearance is a measure of attractiveness and social success. Usually the family is highly achievement oriented and perfectionist. The family is rigid, enmeshed and unable to resolve conflict, and is overprotective. Coalitions among members results from poor communication patterns. No physical body is perfect, it is when a person begins to obsess about their body,to the point of changing their normal functioning, that a problem is indicated.

Substance Abuse/Addictions/Porn Addiction also has a multitude of factors predisposing an individual, including genetic and environmental. Have a family history of substance abuse greatly increases the potential for each child to have similar issues. It appears that the environment (home, extended family) that the child is raised in greatly affects whether the child becomes an abuser of substances as well. Unfortunately, alcoholic families are known to unwritten rules such as "don't talk about your feelings" and "the parent is always right". Unstated rules such as these cause greater emotional turmoil for the child, that is then often seen in problem behaviors in adolescence and adulthood.

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Drug Addiction Treatment

An indicator that a "user" has become an "abuser" or dependent is when the person's social, work, or family life is being affected. Examples would be going to work late or calling in sick due to alcohol/drugs; increased amount of arguments with a loved one; decrease in motivation; more episodes of excessive use when partying; isolating from others; change in eating habits and sleeping habit. These are red flags that treatment is needed.

Sexual/Porn addiction can be especially shaming, especially for those with religious beliefs. When you can't resist looking, use it to deal with marital issues, or enjoy feeling "in control" of the sex, these are red flags you need help.

Violence/Domestic Violence/Anger is often seen when someone feels they have lost control and no longer have the power they desire. So the way the individual deals with this is by intimidating others, especially those who are more timid than the aggressor. It must be understood that violence is not simply physical, but emotional violence occurs from derogatory words, intimidating "stares", isolating the victim from family and friends, repeated reminders of past failures, demanding to live within the societal perceived roles, and seeing things only as black and white. Verbal abuse has been shown to have longer lasting scares in many cases than physical abuse. No matter your age or relationship with the abuser, do not tolerate it, report it immediately; do not wait for the "honeymoon" period to reoccur, the buildup of tension and the abuse will only occur again and again as the cycle continually revolves.

Abuse takes many forms and a victim is often in denial that it occurred or that they may have played a part in the abuse. A clear example of the latter is someone who was physically abused as a child by a parent may as an adult joke about the incidents from youth. Joking about abuse, in the past, with family or friends is abuse in itself. That person is giving the audience the idea that "it is okay", "that is not a big deal"; this is one reason why abuse in families is often generationally passed on. It must stop and the victim must not condone such behavior by laughing about it in latter years. Talking about a woman being "my bitch", "I could of had her as much as I wanted", "that little girl is sweet", and then dismissing such comments as "I'm just kidding, don't be so serious", is wrong. It shows a need for a revision of your attitude about respect and honoring others. People are not "possessions" or "objects" of others, which is what those type of comments indicate.

Does your therapy just focus on the negative?

This is a great question, no. Once the problem is identified and some of the past contributing points are discussed, goals are formulated, finding solutions that the consumer wants to work on.

It is important to identify "exceptions" to the negative behavior and what caused those "exceptions". The "exceptions" are when things went well and the consumer inherently was doing what was needed to prevent the negative behavior. Often times the consumer is unaware of the fact that they indeed are doing something different. It is easy for us to list and focus on the negatives in life, it is much more challenging to focus on the positive changes; isn't that interesting?!

Couples issues: think about why you married your spouse, what attracted you to them. How did you treat that person when dating, and has that changed? How can you edify or "lift up" that person again, make them feel they truly are special to you?

Relational issues: the world does not revolve only around you. You must hear other peoples' position and be willing to compromise. You need to communicate both the good and the bad in a positive manner that will allow the other person to "hear" you.

Stressed out: can't we all relate to this?! Taking time out for yourself to relax in our current society's philosophy almost seems like a sin! It is okay to say I cannot work a 10 or 12 hour day six days per week. It is okay to say I want to spend tonight just doing nothing but reading a book, cuddling, meditating with candle light, taking a walk in the woods, or just taking a nap after a hard day. Sometimes we think we must run 24/7, don't do it...unless you just want to go to the grave quicker. On the other hand, doing nothing all/most of the time is not healthy either. We need exercise for the body to remain healthy, a mind needs to be used to stay sharp, and we need relaxation to assist our emotional health.

Think of a positive thought, and now how can you make that thought happen?

Ready for help now?? Call Healing Today at (213)910-7440, stop waiting, get some help, call!