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TW Can't deal with my brother

I am exhausted. This post was going to be about asking for support for my mental health issues.

Yet again, asking for help has been derailed by my brother, who has managed to become at least as distressing as depression. 


My brother keeps calling me lazy, crippled. He'll go to great lengths to point out that I barely leave the house, that I'm a "potato" who "does nothing all day".

He purposely triggers my anxiety. 

He teases me for any autistic traits I show, which apparently is not the same as teasing me for being autistic. 

There have been times were I was groaning and curled over in pain, and he was getting angry that this was interrupting his thrilling tale of some insignificant bump or scrape.


Yesterday our cat was outside in a thunderstorm, and I was worried for him.

I was outside; walking with bare feet and without my cane on the freezing, muddy ground until my legs started to buckle. He was watching tv. By the time I got inside, painful spasms were going down my worse leg, I was soaked, dizzy and could barely see.

When mum asked him to close the curtains, he said that his legs were a bit sore and that I could do it, even after I said I was unable to stand.

He is completely able bodied.


Sometimes he will decide that he has to show me a video.

I have a fairly wide range of triggers. For my own health and safety, I need to be aware of what I watch and listen to.

But he never warns me of potentially triggering content. And if I somehow figure out that I will be triggered and say I don't want to watch, he'll play it anyway, getting aggressive if I don't focus on it intently.

If I get upset, he gets angry. If I express an opinion on it, he gets angry. 


I'm already dealing with so much.

I'm running out of energy and patience.

I know that if I don't do what he says, and he gets violent, I will loose the fight badly.

But I'm beginning to feel like it'll take me being badly beaten for my parents to stop making excuses for him, and to address the damage his behavior is doing.

I don't really want to put myself at risk by saying no. It's honestly not that safe.

But he gets hell bent on achieving his petty wants, and it's fucking with my already less than brilliant health.


I don't know what to do.


Re: TW Can't deal with my brother

Hey @Tiny_leaf  Smiley Happy


It seems like your brother isn't really sensitive to your feeling and needs, and that there are quite a few things your brother does that really get to you and hurt you. I'm getting the impression that you've spoken to your parents about this, but they haven't been able to address the situation?


Re: TW Can't deal with my brother

@JanaG yeah...

He's been physically and emotionally abusive since I was little.

I tried everything I could think of, even secretly recording him once and playing mum the recording of him screaming abuse at me.

All I could do to protect myself was run into the backyard and try not to trip.

He is not so much physically abusive now, however he's starting to threaten/ imply stuff...


My parents keep making excuses for him.

They give in when he throws tantrums (he's 15).

Sometimes even mum is scared of him.

But she still makes excuses on his behalf.

Dad is too busy.

They won't help me. They wouldn't even help when I was a little kid who was afraid to go home.


Re: TW Can't deal with my brother

@Tiny_leaf emotional abuse does suck. It's sad that you've had to endure it throughout all these years and that your parents keep making excuses. If you can't talk to your parents, Is there anyone else you could reach out to?

Re: TW Can't deal with my brother

@Beautifullybroken I've tried asking multiple therapists.

They say that there is a limit of confidentiality if someone is hurting me.

But even when it was physical abuse, they did nothing.

Thanks to my collection of health issues, I have limited mobility and about  0 life survival skills, so it's not like I can move out the day I'm 18 to get away from him.


Re: TW Can't deal with my brother

Hi @Tiny_leaf, that sounds incredibly tough. It seems as though the gravity of the situation is not getting recongised. You deserve support. When you say you 'I've tried asking multiple therapists'.. do you mean that you have specifically asked them to report the abuse? Just so you know, I have sent you an email Heart

Re: TW Can't deal with my brother

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this @Tiny_leaf . You so very much deserve to feel safe in your own home and it doesn't sound like your brother is showing any empathy or consideration at all. It sounds truly awful. You are worth so much and I am so glad you were able to open up about this. I'm here for you. -hugz- 


Re: TW Can't deal with my brother

@Taylor-RO thank you for the email.

I have read it and will respond as soon as my anxiety calms down enough..

I'm just having a bit of trouble responding to meessages atm for some reason...


Re: TW Can't deal with my brother

Hey @Tiny_leaf 


Just wanting to check in with you. I know you were feeling quite anxious early hours of this morning - how are you doing now? Heart 


Re: TW Can't deal with my brother

@Tiny_leaf i honestly have no words for the amount of pain you must be going through, i could only imagine how it would feel.