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More Scandalous Content JK Rowling Will Probably Retroactively Make Canon In Harry Potter

Now that Dumbledore and Grindelwald's "incredibly intense" romance is canon, what will JK Rowling make up next?

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Every Potterhead has a favorite scene from their favorite book/movie series – the first time Harry Potter catches the Golden Snitch, the part where Dobby holds a sock, the torrid sexual affair between Dumbledore and Grindelwald.

Or wait, did that last one not happen in the books? Or the movies? Or even the Fantastic Beasts spin-off featuring Grindelwald? Was there seriously no mention of either of those characters' sexualities anywhere across the entire Harry Potter canon?

Once again, JK Rowling has offered unprompted insight into Dumbledore's sexuality, this time through comments on the Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald Blu-ray feature where Rowling assured everyone that "their relationship was incredibly intense. It was passionate, and it was a love relationship."

On the one hand, LGBTQ representation is excellent. On the other hand, if LGBTQ representation was actually important to JK Rowling, why were Dumbledore and Grindelwald's relationship/sexualities not mentioned in the spin-off, let alone the books or movies? JK Rowling limiting these character insights to tweets and Blu-ray commentary makes it seem like she wants a point for "representation" and "diversity" within her work without actually writing anything to make those characters representative. In other words, it's cowardly.

Fans are responding in turn, pointing out that this is in no way, shape, or form actual representation.

But others are just wondering what other sexual preferences JK Rowling might retroactively reveal about her beloved characters.

For instance, could Dumbledore's Patronus be changed to something more representative of his apparent newfound sexuality?

Yeah, sure why not. But what's Hagrid into?

Somehow that actually makes a lot of sense. How about Sirius?

Oh, no wonder he turns into a dog. More representation is still needed though.

JK Rowling needs to get on canonizing all of this ASAP.

Okay, we knew that one already. Personally, though, I just want to know more about Dobby's sex life.

Love it. Can't wait for JK Rowling to make all these official.

Until then, maybe she should start working on a new spin-off novel about the Dumbledore/Grindelwald relationship to, you know, utilize that content in a way that actually matters.

Dan Kahan is a writer & screenwriter from Brooklyn, usually rocking a man bun. Find more at

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