African Lion Safari (Part 2)

By Coleman York | | Categories: Funny Stories

At first there was looks of laughter then in unison all the people in the other car looked as though their eyes were popping out from their sockets. You know that OH MY GOD look! There was nothing we could do but watch through the side mirrors as the baboons were taking strips of vinyl off the roof. Ripping each piece in equal portions as if they measured it, one strip at a time and stuffing it in their mouths. All I could think of was that big warning sign “DO NO FEED THE ANIMALS” and not yet thinking of the damage that was taking place on the car. It then came very clear to me on why so many people were driving these zebra painted cars. These were the cars you could rent so your car did not get thrashed by these missing links!

This was not a good time to panic but I really needed to exit this exhibit and go see the flamingos. I was sure that those beautiful pink birds that balance on one leg could not do anymore damage. While all this was going on my friends were having the time of their life laughing so hard that one of them decided to show me what he had for breakfast unfortunately it was on the back seat of the car. You see, while the baboons were eating away at the smorgasbord I was stepping on the gas and suddenly breaking trying to shake those ugly bare assed baboons off my car. I guess the fact that my friends were drinking beer all the way from our departure point right up to our arrival had something to do with it. After seeing the lions, camels and other exotic animals it was time to leave and head back home to face the music.

This may not come as a surprise but the new car that my father was so gracious in lending me looked like we had spent the day in the eye of a hurricane. The roof was entirely ripped apart with pieces hanging over the windows and it seemed like a group of elementary school kids tried to engrave their names all over the car. The drive back home seemed to last for ever as I kept wondering how I was going to explain all this to my father. Even worse, how would my father explain this to his insurance company? Try telling your agent that you were attacked by a bunch of wild baboons… in Canada! Now you know where my sense of humor came from.