Wedding Party

Bridesmaids Dilemma..

Please help!!  So confused.  I don't know who to choose for my bridesmaids.

Definite bridesmaids so far:

Sister-In-law (Matron of Honor)




Best Friend of 17 years (like a sister)


That's already 5 people!!  I figured I could get away with saying I'm doing family members only with them. 

But then my fiancé is inviting a good friend of ours to be one of his groomsmen.  This guy's girlfriend is a really great friend of mine also and I'd really like her to be in the wedding, plus I would feel bad not including her in the wedding party because she's part of our group of friends.  I would also feel bad asking my fiancé to not include him as a groomsmen just to make it easier on me lol. 

Then there's my close friend Patti (who I'd also like to have in the wedding) who is having me in her wedding in July.  I think her feelings would be really hurt if she wasn't included in mine. 

So then I think, "Okay, what's two more girls."  But if I invite 2 of my other friends I know 2 other girls whose feelings may be hurt they weren't included with the rest of the gang..  that would NINE (((9))) girls.. that's ridiculous, right?

Sorry if you don't get my mess lol.. I've just been going over and over and over this in my head, reading every advice article and forum discussion I can find, trying to find a solution where no one's feelings are hurt and I don't have a bridesmaid entourage of 9. 

Anyone have any suggestions for me?


Re: Bridesmaids Dilemma..

  • We're having about 160 people.. plus it's an entire weekend at a farm.. We were planning on having the original wedding party of 5 and our closest friends that were mentioned staying with us too.  I just worry about expense with 9 girls/guys.. 9 bouquets.. 9 boutonnieres.. 18 gifts... it adds up. 
    [Deleted User]
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  • Honestly, my best advice is to only have the 5 "family" members.  That's such a good, easy cut-off point, and I just can't imagine that anyone would be offended at being left out if they know you're only having family members as attendants (unless they're bridesmaidzillas, in which case you wouldn't want them as bridesmaids anyway).  It just seems so obvious to me that mature, sane, adult people who are true friends to you would understand.  The only time people really have any right to be miffed about being excluded as a BM is if you have, for instance, a really tight-knit group of 4 friends from high school, and you invite all but one of them.

    As far as your groomsman's girlfriend who is also a friend goes, she'll be included in all the wedding events anyway as the SO of a groomsman, so you'll get to see her at everything anyway.

  • Or simplify it further and just have a MOH. If you know who that is, without a doubt, but are having a hard time choosing the others, it may be the easiest way to go. Friends that want to be involved in any showers or parties can be, or can even host if they want. Saying "I love all of you, and just couldn't choose" is a reasonable answer to anyone who actually questions you about it.
  • LAM524LAM524 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer

    If you have to hide a body at 2am on a Wednesday, who would you call to help? Those are the people that should be in your WP, be it 2 or 10. Stop stressing over who is going to be upset or who is dating whom or who is in the same circle of friends. The WP is a huge honor bestowed upon the people nearest and dearest to YOU.
    LMAO!! Love this!!!! Wish the same where true about guests!!! I'd save tons of money!!!!

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]kkskidder
  • I say pick as many people as you want to, although I am used to large wedding parties. My sister-in-law had 9 bridesmaids, and I was originally going to have 10, but now have 8 (one had to step down since she will be in med school, and one had cancer and is no longer with us). So now we will be uneven, since FI is still having 10 groomsmen (including my brother and one of my really good friends), but it's pretty common now to have an uneven number of people on either side. FI is also having 2 best men, since he couldn't pick between his brother and his cousin (like a brother to him). 

    Numbers, imo, are meaningless, but the people you surround yourself with are absolutely going to make the day meaningful! Every single one of my bridesmaids and most of the groomsmen as well have become great friends of mine, and I couldn't imagine our wedding without any one of them standing up there with us!
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