Plant Sim Series 1 - Episode 03 - Meet Rhiannon

So I was just standing there, watching this woman step out of the box as if awakening from a deep sleep. It hadn't crossed my mind exactly what she was, as it was a little dark. She was dressed in this lacy gown with a slit up her leg. It reminded me of that dress I saw my mother in once, and wished never to see her in again.

While I was attempting to get rid of the unwelcome sudden flashback memories of my mother in that dress, the woman from the box was none too happy with me.

Woman: Who dares awaken me from my sleep?! Do you realise how long I've been asleep in there? Six bloody years!!! I can't even start to imagine how many spots I must have now! Well?! Why don't you answer?! Tell me what the hell you're doing here in my abode!

Woman: What the-
Keith: Don't worry Keithy. If you can't see her…she can't see you. Ignore her and she might go away.
Woman: …Are you for real?

Her bright red eyes glared fiercely at me. Her lips crooked into a wicked grin, and she snarled in ferocious tones.

Woman: Little boy. I don't think you understand what kind of place you're in. Did you really think you'd stumble into a hidden passage in a graveyard and NOT find a vampire?
Keith: V-vampire?! Oh d-d-dear!
Woman: Silence! It is too late for apologies and pleading-

And with that she roughly got hold of me and bit my neck. Normally in a situation you'd at least get to know the lady first, I mean either she'd been so drawn to me as I was that irresistible, or she just needed some after 6 years of…I'm sorry, I'm getting glared at by many people at the moment. Let's cut to the chase.

So she sank her teeth into my neck, getting ready to drink my blood or whatever bodily fluid I had in there…

Woman: Eurgh! Bloody hell! What the hell is that?!
Keith: What? Don't you like my blood?
Woman: That *spit* vile liquid *hack* is definitely not blood! It's all green and *shudder* tangy…
Keith: Oh…it might be chlorophyll.
Woman: Chlorophyll?! What type of human has chlorophyll in their system?!
Keith: Well if you looked closer, you'd see I'm not a human at the moment!

She turned round with suspicious eyes and glared at me up and down, taking a closer look. Her eyed widened as the realisation sunk in.

Woman: You're…you're a living plant!
Keith: Yup, though I like to be called Keith.
Woman: How is that possible! No human can sustain a plant's life!
Keith: Well, if you're confused, go and ask the evil witch Luna because she's the one who turned me like this!
Woman: Witch…Luna?
Keith: Yup, you heard of her?
Woman: I might have.
Keith: I'm going to the Princess Alynna to see if she can help return me to normal!

Woman: I might come too.
Keith: Really? But I thought you were mad at me awakening you, and invading on your creepy psycho home, blah blah blah-
Woman: It seems my mind has been changed. And now I shall also change my clothes. You can look away, dirty boy.
Keith: Hey! I'm as clean as a whistle!

Woman: And don't touch anything! Got that?
Keith: Got it!...hey, this looks pretty…

Keith: …oops.
Woman: What did you do?!
Keith: I just touched it!
Woman: WHAT?!

Keith: Well, this is an extraordinary pickle.

Woman: My…my shelter…my sanctuary…what…why?! Why did you have to leave this way?! Why did you have to be taken away by an oaf of a man! *sob* I loved you! And you have to be in pain, your walls burning down in eternal fire! Why did you have to leave me this way?!
Keith: Well, keeping something flammable in a small cramped space can be one of the problems.

Woman: YOU!
Keith: Hey! My name is Keith, not "you"!
Woman: Shut up!! You owe me a new sanctuary!
Keith: A new what? Sank-choo-erry?
Woman: A new home, you brainless fool! And you're going to get it NOW!
Keith: What, at this time? Do you know how high the house prices are-

Keith: Ow! You hit me…

This vampire was proving to be very touchy…

Woman: Aw, don't blub, you big baby! Someone has to get sense into you!
Keith: Hey, if you're so mad about getting a new home, why don't you come see Alynna with me? I'm sure she'll find you somewhere to stay.
Woman: The princess…? I…I will think about it.

Keith: Good. Now, if you don't mind, I must skedaddle before I get burnt to a crisp!

We managed to escape the burning "sank-choo-erry" and before I knew it the vampire had grabbed me by what she saw as my ear and was dragging me across town. I was beginning to regret ever meeting her by the time we came to a small weird retro bar.

Keith: Hey, this looks like fun!
Woman: We're not here to have fun. I need to meet some old friends of mine and ask for help.
Keith: I wouldn't trust half the people in this city. There is an evil force at work.
Woman: A what…?
Keith: An evil force! It's controlling the city to eat all the sugar in the world!
Woman: Were you born funny or something?
Keith: Hmm?

Woman: Look, let's just go inside.
Keith: Ok, Miss Vampire-Lady!
Woman: …Don't ever call me that again. If you really must know, my name is Rhiannon.
Keith: Rhiannon…that rhymes with salmon!
Rhiannon: Yeah…look at that…

We went into what appeared to be a roller disco of some sort. People were falling over, laughing and generally having fun.

We found one of Rhiannon's friends, a warlock named Phideus. No one seemed to laugh when I told them it rhymed with "hideous" though.

Rhiannon: Hey there.
Phideus: Rhiannon…? Is that you?
Rhiannon: It's me big guy. Six years of sleep and you're a high warlock now, I see.
Phideus: Six years and you have hardly changed.
Rhiannon: Is that supposed to be a compliment?!
Phideus: Yup, you haven't changed.

Keith: Why hello there!
Girl: Like, how do you get your face green like that? And your hair looks like its alive…
Keith: Lather, rinse, repeat.
Girl: Like, aren't you cold under that thing?
Keith: Hardly. Now remember, stay away from the sugar!
Girl: Excuse me?

Phideus: I see. So after burning your sanctuary, he offered you to go and see Alynna.
Rhiannon: I think this may be good. She might know how to…you know. Cure me.
Phideus: Why would you want curing?
Rhiannon: You know exactly why I need curing. I'm in this city purely because of what I am.
Phideus: So you say this boy was turned into a plant by the evil witch Luna?
Rhiannon: That's right.

Phideus: I think I know what you need to do. Seek out the village of the Pixies.
Rhiannon: Why there?
Phideus: Find the good witch Starla. She might be able to help you in terms of the plant thing. As for you, seeing Alynna may do you good.

Rhiannon: You think I'll be alright outside the city? Outside the city…there's sunlight…
Phideus: I think you'll be fine. Just remember to take breaks every now and again. Now, I'm going to send my apprentice warlock with you, to help you find your way.
Rhiannon: Thank you, that's very considerate of you! Hey, Keith, over here!

Warlock: You called for me, Master Phideus?
Phideus: Darwin, I'd like you to take Keith and Rhiannon to the land of the Pixies. They need to find Starla, it's about Luna.
Darwin: Ah, I understand. Nice to meet you.
Keith: Hey…aren't you the guy I met earlier today?
Darwin: Excuse me?
Keith: Remember? You insulted me and I got sad and ran away.
Darwin: I assure you, I've been here with my Master all day.
Keith: Oh, I must have the wrong person.

Keith: In any case, who's up for some roller rinking?!
Phideus: He seems very innocent.
Rhiannon: Innocent? Him?! He doesn't know his own strength.

Keith: Ow! That hurt!
Rhiannon: *sigh* Idiot.
And so, after my first ever experience of roller-blading, with lots of falling over (mostly from me), one became three and we were off to find the witch Starla…