25 Jokes You’re Probably Too Stupid To Understand


How many did you get? (Don’t lie.)

Intellectual jokes. I’m about to reel off a sort of top twenty five of them and, credit where Reddit’s due, they all stem from a questioned posed to users on Reddit recently that simply asked, ‘What’s the most intellectual joke you know?’ The whole thing got rather popular, and a number of people are reporting it, seemingly, surprised that users of the internet laugh at more than dick jokes, racism, homophobia, sexism, memes, paedophilia and the ever rich and fruitful source materials that were Hitler, the holocaust and Nazis as a whole.

The jokes involved run the gambit from physics to philosophy, and further. Pretentious? Esoteric? Maybe. Funny? Definitely. Not surprising really, I hear smart people need to laugh too; they are after all the most miserable of the lot of us — they know the truth we could never understand. Plus there’s the fact a number of respected comics have backgrounds in any number of the sciences, without even getting started on the Futurama writing team.

Anyway, check them out on the following slides and let us know how many you got (don’t lie).




2. “Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?”





Policeman Pulling Over Car



6. Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up and shouts: “Hell, I forgot to feed the dog!”

Light Bulb




Oxygen Magnesium




Hot Dog Stand

11. A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says: “Make me one with everything”.

Crows On Branch

12. What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder.


13. An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can’t see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: “Can you see me now?” The four men answer: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Si.” “Ja.”


14. Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

Computer Programmers

15. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.

Albert Einstein



17. Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on a technicality.

Noam Chomsky

18. Werner Heisenberg, Kurt GÃ¶del, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says: “Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it’s funny or not?” GÃ¶del replies: “We can’t know that because we’re inside the joke.” Chomsky says: “Of course it’s funny. You’re just telling it wrong.”

Roman Soldier


Frozen Man




Benoit B Mandelbrot


Cup Of Coffee

23. Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafÃ©, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress: “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies: “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”

Classics Professor


Loaf Of Bread



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