Monday, 30 September 2019

A Caserolazo Is One Way to Resist a Very British Junta

As the various quislings who seem to make up the bulk of the opposition in the House of Commons talk about their plans for a so-called Government of National Unity, it might be a good idea to use original Spanish terms for what is rapidly becoming a very Hispanic type of politics. While we are at it, we can also look at some effective means of popular resistance.

First of all, we will not legitimise this constitutional coup by adopting the name given to it by its members and supporters. For us it is a junta; a gang of treasonous buffoons who may lack the comic opera uniforms found in the Hispanic world but who are just as unconstitutional.

There is talk of John Bercow being installed as jefe de la junta, but I find that idea as risible as Bercow. Most coup leaders end up as figures of fun, but they never start out that way and that is Bercow's lot, I'm afraid. At 5' 5" tall the most he could do is threaten to headbutt someone on his kneecap, but I doubt if he could even manage that threat and make it credible. Not when he knows that his own wife puts the horns on him with his brother. He must also know that we know as well and find his inability to control his own household an endless source of amusement. We suspect that the family dog ignores him as well. 

The fact that the putative coup mongers have not ruled Bercow out suggests that they are short of talent, but assuming that they find someone, then manage to remove the government and install this caudillo in Downing Street, how shall we respond?

The classic Latin-American response to a coup has become the international standard: it is called the caserolazo, and it is very effective. Basically, you take a casserole dish and a big spoon from the kitchen, go outside and then use the dish as a drum to create, along with thousands of other women, a cacophony of noise.

We don't know who came up with this idea, but it seems to have been a Chilian, probably during their period of rule by the junta. That a woman came up with this idea in the first place strikes me as axiomatic: how many men do you know who even have a dim awareness of where the kitchen is, still less what the pots are stored in it?

One person banging one dish is just local noise, but a thousand people doing the same is guaranteed to put the shits up the local bizzies, especially if the demonstrators are stood in their own backyards and the boys in blue can't see them so don't know exactly how many people are involved.

In 1980s Chile they had to print leaflets such as the one reproduced above to get people to engage in a caserolazo, but we have the internet and mobile phones that can be used to spread our agitprop quickly and cheaply. If the Chileans could get tens of thousands to join in the demonstrations then we should be able to get the whole of the Brexitland to create a feeling of blind terror in the hearts of all the quislings.

The coup is coming, so let's be ready to meet it!

Tuesday, 24 September 2019

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