How to Take Compliments

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Updated: March 29, 2019

Explore this Article Responding to Compliments Being More Receptive to Compliments Article Summary Video Questions & Answers Related Articles References

Congratulations! You've earned somebody's respect and admiration. What do you say to that? If you're flustered by praise, it's time to learn how to take a compliment at face value and appreciate the sentiment. Refuse the urge to put yourself down or minimize your efforts. Instead, acknowledge the compliment and say thank you. After all, you're worth it, right?

Part 1
Responding to Compliments

  1. 1
    • Don't look for “hidden meanings” or make your own interpretations of the compliment to diminish it. Accept it at face value. For example, someone may say, "Your hair looks great today!" Don't take that to mean your hair doesn't look great every other day.
  2. 2
    Express your gratitude. Whether you agree with the compliment or not matters very little. The other person’s motivations also matter very little. Acknowledge that somebody spent a moment saying something nice about you and accept that moment graciously.[2]
    • For example, if someone compliments your dog’s good behavior, say, “That’s kind, thank you.”
  3. 3
    Give credit where credit is due. If someone pays you a compliment yet other people were involved, give them credit as well. This is especially important when receiving recognition. Give credit to anyone who helped you or contributed.[3]
    • For example, if you are serving a meal that your sister helped prepare, make sure to include her when accepting a compliment. Say, “Thank you, Abby and I worked on it together. We’re so glad you enjoyed it.”
  4. 4
    Return a compliment. Remember when a person has complimented you and note that it's nice and courteous to return it. While you don’t need to immediately say something nice, do keep in mind their compliment and find something to compliment them on as well. Take note of the things people do and show them recognition.[4]
    • Get into the habit of making regular compliments through seeing the good in others and expressing this openly.
    • People appreciate being acknowledged for hard work and kind gestures. Show that their kindness does not go unnoticed.
  5. 5
    Be gracious. Many people worry about appearing overly confident or stuck up when receiving compliments. The trick is to accept the compliment as is. Saying, “I know, thank you” can come across as rude, even though you’re acknowledging your own abilities. Focus on being gracious, warm, and receptive.[5]
    • For example, if you worked hard on your presentation and you know you nailed it, you don’t have to say so when complimented. You can, however, acknowledge your hard work by saying, “Thank you. I worked so hard and it’s nice to hear you enjoyed it.”
  6. 6
    Demonstrate appropriate nonverbal behavior. Show that you are receptive to the compliment through your body language. Maintain steady eye contact and indicate interest and engagement through your facial expression. Crossing your arms may indicate that you’re not receptive or that you’re skeptical.[6]
    • When taking a compliment, smiling says a lot without requiring you to say anything.
  7. 7
    Respond to a backhanded compliment. A backhanded compliment is an insult disguised as a compliment. For example, "Your holiday decorations look great -- I'm always amazed at what you do with so little money." Responding to a backhanded compliment can be tricky. If someone gives you a backhanded compliment, assess what they might mean from it. If they are seeking attention or sympathy, feel free to ignore it or respond to the positive part of it only. If the person appears genuinely clueless in their misstep, just say thank you and move on.
    • For example, a family member might give you a backhanded compliment for your recent marriage. Instead of taking offense, just say “Thanks, Aunt Maude!”
    • If the person is seeking attention (for example, saying, “You look nice today. Why don’t you dress this way more often?”) respond to the positive part. Say, “Thank you for noticing.”

Part 2
Being More Receptive to Compliments

  1. 1
    Own your strengths. If you shy away from compliments because you don’t want to appear conceited or full of yourself, recognize that you deserve recognition. It’s not conceited to accept a compliment. If someone points out that you look nice or did a great job on a project, acknowledge that you put work into it and that they are recognizing you.[7]
    • For example, if you put a lot of work into a presentation and someone says, “Great presentation!” acknowledge your hard work by saying, “Thanks! I worked hard on it.”
  2. 2
    Avoid disconfirming the compliment. You might feel tempted to disagree with the comment as a way to appear humble. However, by saying things like, “It was nothing” or, “Don't mention it,” you downplay your role, the compliment, and the person giving it. Besides, the person might feel rejected if you disagree.[8]
    • For example, if someone compliments your clean house, resist the urge to say, “I haven’t cleaned in a week. It looks horrible!” This might make them feel bad or that you think they are sloppy.
  3. 3
    See yourself the way that others see you. Take a moment and reflect on the compliments you receive. Whether you believe them or not, take the chance to see how others see you. You might learn something about yourself or the work you do and feel more positively.[9]
    • For example, if you often receive compliments about your job performance, that means that other people are noticing the great work you do.
    • Understand that your self-evaluations will tend to be harsher or more demanding than other people's evaluations of you. If you find yourself constantly second-guessing compliments, maybe there is something you need to change about your self-evaluations.
  4. 4
    Boost your self-esteem. If you feel good about yourself, you may feel good when someone else notices something positive about you. Increasing your self-esteem can make you less resistant to compliments.[10] Do this by thinking positively about yourself and recognizing your worth.[11]
    • For example, write down the things you like about yourself and think about them when you feel low.

Community Q&A

Add New Question
  • Question
    What if they say the compliment over text or note, and you don't want to write a long or a big paragraph?
    Community Answer
    Answer with a thank you. It's short and sweet, and always an appropriate response to a compliment.
  • Question
    What if compliments make you uncomfortable, and even if you know how to respond it's hard to do?
    Community Answer
    Just think that the person who said the compliment must have seen something good in you. So you deserve it. Don't be afraid to thank him for that. Just say thank you with a smile.
  • Question
    A male person called me an angel. What should I say?
    Laura Babbitt
    Community Answer
    That's a big compliment. If it relates to support or service, you can say, "I'm so glad I could help. Thank you." If you can't source the compliment, appear gracious but not conceited by accepting it, then asking why it was given; for example, "How kind. Thank you. Why do you say that?" That shows interest in his thoughts, and will bring his appreciation down to earth, where you can humbly accept with "Thank you."
  • Question
    What do I do if I'm uncomfortable when someone compliments me?
    Community Answer
    If the person says something inappropriate (like compliment how sexy you look at work), don't feel an obligation to thank them. Say, "That was uncomfortable. Please don't say things like that to me again."
  • Question
    I always get really nervous when someone compliments me. Normally I say nothing, avoid eye contact, and sometimes lower my head. How could I respond without giving off a nervous vibe?
    Community Answer
    Practice saying "thank you" genuinely. Say it over and over into a mirror until it starts to feel natural, or ask a trusted person around you to say something nice to you so you can practice replying genuinely and confidently.
  • Question
    What if I get compliments all the time? What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Keep saying thank you. But if you feel they are getting way out of hand, the next time the person compliments you, say that you appreciate the compliments but are feeling overwhelmed by all of them.
  • Question
    What do I do if I feel I don't deserve a compliment?
    Community Answer
    Just say 'thank you' and smile. Don't think you didn't deserve the compliment; this person saw something good in you, no reason to feel you shouldn't have received it!
  • Question
    My "ex-crush" said I was beautiful, how do I respond to that?
    Community Answer
    He probably likes you. Anyway, it depends on the situation. You can give a simple reply, "thank you," or you can make something more of it. For example, "that means a lot, thank you." It really depends on your personality.
  • Question
    What is a polite way to respond to someone who compliments others in an attempt to get a compliment in return?
    Community Answer
    Just focus on you. If you get a compliment, say thank you. If you want to genuinely compliment that person, do so.
  • Question
    How can I subtly compliment my crush?
    Community Answer
    Just say something simple like, "Hey, you look nice today" or, "That shirt looks good on you."
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    wikiHow Video: How to Take Compliments

    Article SummaryX

    The best way to gracefully accept a compliment is to simply thank the person for their kind words. Let the praise sink in and avoid downplaying your role. Show humility by returning the compliment or acknowledging anyone else who deserves credit. To learn how to use body language to convey your gratitude, read on!

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    • Don't change the topic without acknowledging the compliment. If they took the time to compliment you, it was likely genuine and should be handled as such.

    Article Info



    Categories: Featured Articles | Compliments

    In other languages:

    Italiano: Accettare i Complimenti, Español: aceptar cumplidos, Deutsch: Ein Kompliment annehmen, Português: Receber Elogios, Русский: принимать комплименты, Français: accepter des compliments, Bahasa Indonesia: Menerima Pujian

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