Friday, August 31, 2012

Maybe I Should Shut My Mouth Sometimes....








Dumb.  Why did I say that?

I move to help Baby E climb up the rock wall.


Me:   They are not biologically related.






This day reminded me...



  1. This topic is SO hard for me. I'm still single, but I've wanted to adopt since I was 8 or 9 years old. I'm probably infertile due to health problems, but I wanted to adopt way before that started happening, so in my heart I feel like everyone else should too. I just want everyone to adopt! Let's get those kiddos into happy homes! So I've totally stuck my foot in my mouth more than once with my infertile friends. I think the worst, though, is when I've suggested adoption and one of my friends wants to do it but his or her spouse is absolutely opposed. That's the hardest for me, because not only are they infertile, but I just threw back in their faces the only other option for raising children - an option they want but cannot have either. Then I beat myself up. It's just a hard topic though, because we need more loving families to adopt, but if two people aren't open to it then they're probably gonna make pretty sucky adoptive parents. So frustrating.

  2. Oh, girl. Don't beat yourself up too much. I think we've all said things we regret. I *hate* the "real siblings" question as well. Mine happen to be biologically related but when #3 comes he or she won't be so what will I say: "well, these two are real siblings but this one is NOT." Really??? Right. I wrote a whole post on this. I can't think about a time I said something I hate hearing myself but I know I have given too much information and then thought: "none of your business! I should have just kept my mouth shut." Right there with you.

  3. Oh I stick my foot in my mouth so many times (and our son is only 10 months old!) I too sometimes act like everyone should be on the adoption bandwagon- of course I think it is the greatest thing on earth, it brought us Eli! Its also hard, and painful, and a long process, and holding my baby now I have a hard time remembering that part. But to someone in the midst of infertility, the hard stuff is all they see. Our story is somewhat similar to yours- not diabetes, but we did not have a long infertility journey. We had some issues, tried for awhile, received a referral for IVF, and halted that bus right there. We had always wanted to adopt and saw it as confirmation of that desire :) I think we will put our foots in our mouths, but as long as we realize it and reflect on it and grow from it, its okay :)

  4. You made one misstep from what I read. You're right (& you've already chastised yourself for it, so no need to dwell), there's usually much pain around infertility.
    Your daughter's response was honest--in the way that only children are free to be. The mom has had very similar experiences w/her own child. She's well aware of the unconscious honesty of children.
    All is well :D. Now get some sleep. Tomorrow's a new day, a new start.

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