I lost my Galaxy on my way to Astronomy.

Quick blurb about my thoughts on why the fuck we’re calling them smart phones because I literally dropped my phone in the school parking lot today fuck my fucking life.

First day of school vibes still running strong on the second day, I popped in my new wireless earbuds (spoiler alert- I was hesitant to buy wireless because I will misplace my phone when I’m listening to music due to my nature of putting the smart phone down in random places because I only need it when it’s time to check something or change the tune, which reminds me, can we please stop calling them smart phones and just call them the portable computers that they are? they’re miniature tablets that have an app that allows you to make phone calls like the old devices we used to make phone calls with– the cellular phone- dubbed so because of the cell battery used to power the phone-calling capabilities it fucking was). if these are smart phones, what the fuck are we calling the users?

I digress.

I just parked my dumbass car in the last open parking spot in the entire lot, I am convinced, but I was running ahead of schedule and gave myself some leeway in time just for this exact reason, shoutout PLAN AHEA, and the one time I’m not in a rush to class because I planned ahead, I drop my mini tablet out of the un-zipped front pocket that is un-zipped only because I have procrastinated to fix zipper that went off-track for oh, well over a year now, but the portable computer hit the ground with a negative sound, due to the fact that I was blaring The Black Album (shoutout HOV) in both of my ears in the cutting-edge fool-proof technology that is my new wireless earbuds.

If anyone finds my phone and notices the THEE KIDS TABLE stickers on the back and makes their way to this post, please feel free to send me an email at theekidstable@gmail.com. I’ll surely take care of you. The pictures and videos on that thing are worth trillions… of words.

...or don't.
Photo taken with the courtesy of Anthony Travieso at 9Line Tattoo, Riverview, FL.

Immediate afterthought edit:
Right after I checked the school lost and found to see if anyone turned it in, by they way, I’m 99.9% sure I saw someone pick up the phone and b-line back towards the school, and shortly after that my headphones cut out and lost signal. It was devastating.
The positive note is, the girl was kind of cute, and right after I check the lost and found I found a brand new Trojan Magnum under the chair I stopped to sit in. Okay, I stopped to sit in the chair because I saw the gold foil under the chair and I needed a condom just in case.

Dick Cheney Is A Richard.

HCC PoliSci class wanted a ONE-page response to the movie Vice. This is all I could fit on the page to say. EDITEDDDDDDDDDD FU

I was just a teenager in 8th grade when I watched President George W. Bush address the nation as ‘under attack’ from the comfort of the orderly Oval Office desk in 2001.  I did not know what kind of chaos was being brewed behind the scenes… being from a small town in upstate New York; and with the helpful influence of my father, a Marine Corps fire, crash, and rescueman (veteran), I later-deferred from going to school with most of my friends to instead follow in my father’s footsteps– I joined the US Air Force.  There is little doubt the pro-war propaganda influenced the decision-making for myself and many like me, but I would argue that the anti-war rhetoric did not exist in cinema like it does today given the inevitable greater access to more and more accurate information available almost 2 full decades later.  My main reaction from watching Adam McKay’s motion picture Vice is that: there is a good chance I would have never enlisted into the military in the first place, let alone re-enlist for a second 4-year term, had this film come out before I went to see the recruiter after turning 18 in 2006.  

What bothers me the most about the film is not so much in the political issues of the film or having to rewatch history and rethink back to the trauma involved with the plane hijackings and terror that took place on that day.  What really bothers me is not what took place some 17-18 years after the fact, on a Hollywood set, portrayed in a movie on a big-screen: it’s what’s going on in real life- like comments (or the lack thereof) from those portrayed in the film as hypocritical weaklings.  Just 2 weeks after Vice was released to the public, Senator Liz Cheney says this of Christian Bale’s performance with a smirk and a grin on her straight face: “Christian Bale finally had the chance to play a real superhero and he clearly screwed it up.”  I know I don’t stand angrily alone given the fact that Dick Cheney has remained silent since the film was released to the public.  That makes me sick; surely he has something on his mind worth sharing?

Hello. You suck.

Mueller.  Muller.  Mueller.  Muller.  

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.  Thank goodness for that first e.  I would hate to have the same last name as that Robert dude.  We’re in quite a bit of a cahoots, literally.  Down below is a video of a guy that is in the spotlight of the clusterfuck that is our justice system.  *Big tall doofus man.  

Follow the money.  You’ll learn a lot about your country.  

*big tall doofus man

Boner petite.  I’m having a fucking awesome day.  

Was Harry Anslinger a Racist?

Seen above, Harry Anslinger, one of our Nation’s honorable heroes, seems to have had a KKK hood crudely pasted over his head.  Why someone would want to portray Anslinger as a racist bigot I have NO idea but it’s quite the piece of work, and worth a share.  I can think of a couple reasons, I guess.