Sunday, September 14, 2014

Spooky Stripping, Part 1

Welcome to the most Halloween-ie of painfully un-sex-ie and outright quaint-ie usage of words ending with "ie", as in, i.e., the missing clips from the Parade's review of Sexy Proibitissimo, all having to do with dark and scary things that go bump, and probably a grind or two, in the night.

Tonight at the Tiki Lounge: Lady with big pile of fake red hair!

Our dancer has a spider-related act, and I hope for the good of the ham sandwich I just ate that it's a goofy fake web and not spinneret's in her butt.

Why, this web is not sticky at all!

Here our lovely lady tests the tensile strength of the web, to see if it will handle the various bottles, salt shakers, tiki candle holders, and plates of food soon to be sailing her way when her act completes.  It's not that people don't like her act, it's just that she's so convincing that they think she's a real spider.  A spider with boobs.  At least that what she tells her therapist.

Do these casting shadows make me look wrinkly?

The 60s were the reverse 80s -- the breasts were real, but the hair wasn't.  Here is the moment our hot dancer regrets using the floor to enhance her sexy dance, as the floor itself was already enhanced with the various amounts of food spilled from the waiters having to bring the plates down those stairs.

This restaurant was really not well planned out.

Rod Serling and Jane Fonda!

Why this scene is in here is anybody's guess, but this couple seemed to have stumbled in from the set of an old Hawaii 5-0 episode.  Any minute now either gun fire or fists are going to break out, and somebody will end up having smuggled opium into the state by tainted hair gel.

Absolutely not a wig.

This goes to prove that no matter how classic a movie was -- the original or the re-make of The Fly, you can always find an ending that improves it!

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