10. Make out with a dog
9. Shoot myself in the ankle or heel
8. Never have any form of salmon again
7. Pretend to be a feminist for a week
6. Watch the complete Kevin James 3x in a row
5. Eat two-week old Indian food, in India
4. Lick the sole of Bernie Madoff's foot
3. Gargle wood shavings + vermouth
2. Build a house of K'NEX and use it as shelter for two nights
1. Punch a bald eagle