Thursday, March 28, 2013

We should be very afraid

If the Supreme Court passes the law to allow same sex couples in our country the right to marry, what kind of message is it going to send to my four sons?
I tremble at the thought, that they may learn that every single human has rights and that we are equal. My oldest son gets upset that he needs glasses and his brothers don't. Rather than telling him God doesn't make mistakes, I will need to make a disclaimer and speak really fast like car dealerships commercials.
*Unless you fall in love with someone who happens to be the same sex as you. If this is the case I cannot guarantee that God didn't make a mistake, he must have, because he wanted to make your life hard, and make it impossible for you to support the person you love financially or legally because the law says it is wrong. If this is the case, then surely, you are a mistake.
Maybe I am part of a new generation of parenting that wants my children to respect everyone and everything. You would think this would be the popular opinion. Especially in an age where innocent young lives are being taken tragically because someone didn't honor their right to live.
This issue is more about love than it is hate. My oldest son loves Minecraft, I don't. My second son loves origami, I don't. My third son is obsessed with the Lion King, I'm not. My fourth loves to run, I hate it. I admire their differences and passions. I revel in their uniqueness, and if you ask me, they are all perfect. And, if any one of my sons falls in love with a man, my feeling won't change.
In grade school I remember reading about Rosa Parks and for the longest time I couldn't figure out what the big deal was that she sat at the front of the bus. Why not? I thought. I had no concept of discrimination because I went to school with African American kids, in fact one of them even tutored me in math and I quickly discovered she was gifted in that subject. As I got older I figured out the significance of Rosa Parks' actions. I'm proud of my parents for not making color an issue growing up. I discovered on my own that the majority opinion back then was wrong, especially in the notion that white people were superior intellectually or otherwise.

Some day I hope my boys read about Edith Windsor with the same bewilderment. A woman who loved and took care of her significant other, had a legal marriage, yet when her partner died, she had no right to her estate because their marriage wasn't upheld. I hope they will look upon this time as a time when we just didn't know better. I hope they will be as proud I am of my parents for not making who you love an issue. However today, I can't say the majority opinion is wrong, because the majority opinion is wise to this issue.

As Maya Angelo said, "When you know better, you do better."

What I didn't see growing up is how hard it was for my parents to put earmuff on my ears to the hush the sounds of racism and discrimination. They did a pretty good job. I'm finding it to be difficult. Especially with the subject of same sex marriage. Unfortunately, even at church I have to counter balance any inkling that they may hear that marriage is only sacred if it is between a man and a woman. How can I explain that when most of their friends parents are divorced and they have seen first hand the suffering their cousins are experiencing from the end of my sisters marriage?

I would like to think that my husband and I are doing what every parent does for their child. And that is, raise them on a solid foundation based on unconditional love and respect for not only themselves, but humanity. Unfortunately, that is not the case.
So yes, we should be very afraid. Just as my previous generations were of black and white couples, or people of different races becoming lawyers, doctors, teachers and scientists. If the Supreme Court views everyone's rights equally think of what might happen . In twenty years my children may discover that 2013 was the year that we evolved as a nation and had finally learned the lesson that hate is capable of one thing, and that is to deplete ones mind of thinking intelligently.

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