Another reflective installment of Have you Ever?

The following account may or may not be based on actual events. Most likely not, but probably so perhaps of course.

Have you ever, dear reader, set up a time when two lady neighbors could stop by your house just for some friendly conversation and some contact with the outside world. Your neighbor calls you the night before said appointment just to remind you. You then go to sleep thinking of how you will need to make a little extra effort on the morrow to look presentable.

Upon awakening in the morning, you groggily carry on about your usual routine, of course having forgotten that visitors are coming. It’s not until the doorbell rings at 11:00 A.M. sharp that you remember your brain is mush and that you shouldn’t have trusted that gray matter of yours to remind you of things.. You should have posted signs on the toilet as well as on the milk jug, both places you are sure to look.

As you curse your forgetfulness and scatter-brained-ness, you start to panic. Your cheeks begin to burn as they always do when you are flustered. Should you ignore the bell? Should you feign sickness and ask them to come back at a later date?  Should you answer the door and act like you have no idea who they are, then tell them no solicitors please?

These questions run circles in your mind over the course of just seconds. And after twenty or so Mississippis have passed, the pressure has reached the maximum and you decide to just invite them in, to your real life. Not before putting on a hoodie though for heaven's sake.

So with unsightly hair, pajamas on, no makeup, no bra, and remnants of yesterday’s fort making still scattered across the living room, you answer the door, and prepare yourself for unimaginable embarrassment.

Well, have you ever?

1 comment:

Kristina P. said...

No, I usually ignore and pretend I'm not home!

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