Do People Like to Spend Time With You?

Act as if it were true

Are you the one that talks about everything that’s going wrong in the world and in your life?

Or, do you spend your time talking about what’s going right and discussing examples of random acts of kindness and positivity?

Which person do you like to spend time with?

I want to spend my time surrounded by uplifting people and thoughts. Recently, I posted a quote by quantum physicist, David Bohm, “When you listen to somebody else, whether you like it or not, what they say becomes part of you.” He developed his theories based on the observations of physics experiments. So, he’s basically showing us that experiments demonstrate the validity of the statement: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”  (Jim Rohn)

I grew up in a family where most of the focus was on problems, mistakes and judgment. It has taken discipline and practice to shift my inner world to focus on what’s working and hold a positive and uplifting attitude that is respectful of myself and others. Part of that success is to make a conscious choice about the role models I select and the people I hang out with. I am glad to hear people ask me how I can be so positive so often–my outlook must be noticeable. My success comes from constant practice.

One of my life missions is to make a positive difference in the world. I realized long ago that the best way to make the world a better place was to help the people in it be “better” people–happier, kinder, more compassionate, more loving, etc. The world changes each time one person changes. When I improve myself, it has a ripple effect on the rest of the world one person at a time. By focusing on becoming a better person myself and helping others in some way, I can make a difference in even the biggest challenges we face.

Long ago, I heard about a group of Buddhist monks who make it their job to make a difference in the world. They spend each day alone in meditation sending out the vibration of love to the world. They believe that it balances some of the lesser vibrations. I have often mused about the power of their actions. I know that I deeply enjoy spending time with people who are loving and compassionate and smile a lot (ever notice how much the Dalai Lama smiles?)! It’s a lot more fun than spending even half that time with someone who focuses on and talks about all that is wrong in the world. With whom would you prefer to spend your afternoons?

Smiley FaceWhen I discover a way to bottle those vibrations for others to drink in and be uplifted, I can make a fortune with it!

You might be wondering what this has to do with you!

Which kind of person do you think others like to spend time with–the positive person or the one focused on everything that’s wrong? What kind of people are on your friend list? Do they spend more time talking about the sad and negative news stories or about how to make a difference in the world or the uplifting, fun experiences? How well do you listen to the people that you hang out with? How carefully do you listen to your own words and conversations?

Do people like to spend time with you? If so, that’s a powerful step towards being financially successful, too!

Coach’s Challenge:

Take some time this week to stop and really listen–in silence–to what your friends and family talk about. What topics do they discuss? What kind of language do they use?

Then–and this is much more difficult–take some time to place a little you on your shoulder that listens to your conversations and your inner mental monologue.

Do your conversations need some upgrading? If so, take some time each day to focus on 3 things that you are grateful for. Some call it a Gratitude Journal. One of my clients calls it her Gratitude Minutes. Then, read from an uplifting book every day. Take time at your next gathering to begin a discussion about how to upgrade the conversations and language that is used by everyone.

Suggested Resource:

Check out this book in my Amazon Store for useful and effective tips on upgrading your attitude and thinking.

Beyond Positive Thinking: A No-Nonsense Formula for Getting the Results You Want” by Robert Anthony