Like waves on the shore

Santa Cruz Bluffs 08.20.11

     Most people don’t truly understand what people with chronic pain (usually meaning pain lasting for more than 12 months) mean when they say that their walking around all day in pain, just like men “Don’t” understand what it’s like for a women to give birth.  The issues with pain are, normal you smash your finger or your stub your big toe or you bump into a wall when moving a piece of furniture, everyone understands that kind of pain.  The event happens, you take some over the counter (OTC) pain medication and within 15-30 minutes your pain it gone, like waves on the shore.    I am using my level as an example which is right in the middle, a 5 on a scale of 1-10.  My pain is different in that I am currently taking a narcotic (mild dose) and have inserted in my abdomen a Medtronic Intrathecal Catheter Pump, which via a catheter places another narcotic directly into my spine.  These two wonderful pieces of medical wonder are what is able to maintain my level 5 pain.   I am a t a 9-10 if I do not have this items and would be bed ridden and would need my family for 90-95% support. 

Now back to pain,  I say this with all sincerity that having chronic pain (depending on the level of pain) is like taking a hammer, placing your thumb on top of a hard surface and SMASH your thumb, but you figured that one out already.  Now, when the pain is half gone, you guessed it take the hammer and SMASH your thumb again.  Now wait, we’re not done yet, the pain is going away your now at 60%, hold on 50%, SMASH your thumb, again.  Alright now continue this process for an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, OK how about 20 years?   And if you happen to mow your yard, go on an extended vacation, be amorous, help your brother build a fence in his small San Francisco backyard or something as simple as driving to the in-laws for a birthday party, every little bump in the road and it does not matter if your driving or a passenger, you feel every bump and each time you hit one the pain is transferred  throughout the body at least in my case due to the area of trouble is the lower spine and lower spine (cervix and hip areas) so I am limited in the amount of time I can sit or stand comfortably or even drive.  A normal drive of say 60 minutes take me about 90 minutes because after 30-40 minutes my body cant take the pain and I need to get out and stretch and move unless I’m passed out.  So I beg of you, the next time someone looks fine but they tell you they suffer from chronic pain, just because its not noticeable doesn’t mean their not in extreme pain.  There are time someone will say something and I think, “If only they could walk a day in my shoes.”  Then I remember something I once said, “I wouldn’t wish this amount of pain on my worst friend.”


Those of you out there with chronic pain, I feel you.  “Do not condemn them for they know not what they say.”  They say “But you look fine?” Yet, they do not know how bad chronic pain is, forgive them then inform them.  Namaste’


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