

Feeling sad about how most people see birth

I've seen so many positive, powerful home birth stories. I really appreciate how home birthers go into it with a trust in our bodies and confidence and anticipation.

So much of the mainstream focuses on natural birth as a horrible ordeal to be feared and prevented.

I feel sad when I see so many people who are just convinced birth will be horrible and can't even imagine a positive birth.

37w, getring ready for my third natural birth and second home birth and just feeling a bit isolated and disappointed with society...

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same here. If your on the February group it’s bad that people have such negative assumptions on birth in general. There’s so much negativity on there. I really love reading on the home birth page and wish more people were similar and open to natural ways to have more discussions available.


I am! The "why NOT get an epidural???" was what pushed me over the edge.

I explained that I find birth to be a good experience and she literally couldn't grasp that I meant physically!

The acceptance of IV ports "just in case", too, as if birth is so lethal you have to be vigilant. I live in a country that doesn't do that.

Now I want to see mountain climbers required to put in an IV port "just in case"!

I was nervous before my first birth because everyone said what a wuss I am (Not just in pregnancy). it really wasn't that much.  My midwife made it a bad experience but if it weren't for her I would have really enjoyed the whole thing.


If I end up having to have a hospital birth, the Iv port is one thing I plan on refusing. I don’t want it and very possibly won’t need it. My ideal birth would be at a birthing center, but I haven’t found any less than one to 2 hours away. My next choice is home birth, but I don’t think my husband will be open to that choice. (Not pregnant yet, just had a chemical.) 


How has civilization managed to give birth and live for thousands of years only to become this ignorant? I understand that I live differently than others and have a completely different views than most of American society but common knowledge of ways of life is just blown right out the door with people these days.


I'm reading Childbirth Without Fear which first came out in the 1930s and had 4 editions over 20 years.

In the last edition he talks a lot about how the natural childbirth movement was making so much progress and so many women were embracing birth with a positive attitude and hospitals were embracing natural birth and how people were realizing the importance of mental state on labor progression.

And I'm so sad that that's totally reversed!

It's only like in the last 200 years that this has happened. I really don't understand it at all.


I seen that “why not epidural” post and thought I hope my kids never meet her kids. Lol I honestly fear that my children will marry someone who is so conformed to the American societal norms.

This is my 4th but 1st home birth. All of them have been with midwives. My 1st I got the epidural and stadol I had a doula who arrived late and I just felt like no support system. My 2nd he was born on the street outside the hospital. Once I felt how empowering that natural birth was I knew my next I would try natural. So my 3rd I had a great midwife and my husband was an amazing support and had my natural birth again. I honestly believe that my support system was needed to have that natural birth.

I’m trying to have a positive outlook and vibes for this home birth but when I read those posts it brings me down and I get intimidated. So I’m trying to stay away from those posts.


I really hope I can raise my kids to hold firm to their beliefs, especially when it comes to personal choices like this.

This is my first girl and I did NOT expect how much itd impact me... This stuff didn't really bother me with our first two, but it's not like they'll be in a position to have to make this decision themselves!

The support system is invaluable. I think that's a lot of the sadness. A positive natural birth requires people who believe in you and encourage you to believe in yourself- how many people don't get that!!!

Like I've seen people say they wouldn't want their kids at the birth because they don't want them to see them "hurt and upset". I get WAY more hurt and upset while pregnant than in labor! If they can handle seeing me pregnant they can handle seeing me in labor. The only part that's iffy is the blood and that's something you can prepare them for.

(I know siblings at birth isn't for everyone and is a big commitment- we take it very seriously and spend months prepping them- but it's been so valuable for our eldest and I love it!)

My first was a home birth and it was traumatic because the midwife didn't listen to me. My contractions were getting close and I knew I needed extra help, but she put off coming for 2 hours because she didn't believe I was really in labor. I felt so alone, lost, and abandoned.

(My partner hadn't read enough of the resources with me so felt lost, did his best, bless him, but he didn't make that mistake again!)

It wasn't the physical pain I couldn't handle- it was the lack of support! As soon as that support came, I knew I could do it again and he came fairly easily.

Our second came even more easily! We couldn't get a home birth where we were, but he came so fast that we had to call an ambulance and i was practically crowning when we got to the hospital.

I get nervous as well. It's intimidating especially in this culture.

It took way too long this time to get through to my partner that I need us to seriously talk about plans. My partner had the attitude of "you've done this twice, I've been there for you twice, we've got this"- noooo, I need reassurance.

We moved to Ireland before our first and the healthcare system is actually more pro natural birth, but the people have been so exposed to American birth groups that they expect the worst!


I am glad I can find people in this group that have the same views as me, but when I do look around me is just full of people that won't even try to understand something so natural as a child birth. Feeling disappointed with society too, in many aspects. We are here girl, not many but a few.


It's really helpful to know we're  not alone!

This baby is my first girl and it's hitting me so much harder than it did before. With my first two I never really cared what other people thought when it came to that and focused on doing what was right for me.  Now it's like "is this what she's going to grow up with?!"


As a ftm, believing firmly that my son and I are better off giving birth at home, due to the risks of medical intervention-both physical and psychological- I am having a very hard time finding affirmative support for my view. I have always been a person who makes her own path, and, mostly I’m proud of that, but I feel so under supported in this courageous endeavor. The pathological medical model of birth is so pervasive that there is almost nowhere to turn to normalize the natural. I’m appalled at the number of women being induced on these boards. It’s the standard now. It seems like no one trusts their body, their baby or their own feminine strength. Thank you, sisters on this board, who blaze the way for people like me.


I was shocked at how many people I’ve told and they really didn’t say much about it. I was expecting more pushback than I’ve been given, so it’s been nice. Most people I suppose still just don’t know our birth preference and that’s fine because it’s private really and they don’t need to.


Thank you for this empowering post ladies!

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