* Posts by Hairy Airey

86 posts • joined 8 Oct 2011


What is the probability of being drunk at work and also being tested? Let's find out! Correctly

Hairy Airey

But what day is the testing?

Are we assuming that the weekly test is the same day of the week, or evenly distributed throughout the year?

Does the person come in drunk on a Monday only or are they an alcoholic that comes in drunk 4 days a week (ie Mon-Thu) 3 times a year? If the testing is every Friday neither will get caught.

There's not enough data to give an accurate result.

Says the guy who has just drunk two glasses of prosecco at work (with permission!) and it's gone to his head.


British biz Imagination Technologies admits Apple may dump its IP

Hairy Airey

Re: So dump them...let te price tumble and then....

As a former employee of IMG I suspect that Apple's decision will open the way for them to be bought up by another company. As I understand it several companies hold a controlling stake in IMG. Unless Apple are going to poach IMG staff I can't see how they can pull this off. Even then they are probably prevented from working for Apple by restrictive covenants.

Self-driving cars doomed to be bullied by pedestrians

Hairy Airey

Pedestrians at risk anyway

For our American readers it's worth reminding them that in the UK we haven't entirely sold out to the right of the car to be higher than any other road users. With the exception of motorways pedestrians are allowed on all roads (granted there are plenty of roads that I wouldn't cycle down).

However pedestrians are just as at risk . I've been beeped at when cycling on the road by people who still thought they were on the motorway. Once when crossing the road another person beeped and drove at me because they didn't understand why I was there (amazing that people that dumb can get driving licenses).

Also, I've seen the movie 2001 putting machines in charge isn't a great idea. Never mind Terminator!

Lights out for Space Vehicle Number 23: UK smacked when US sat threw GPS out of whack

Hairy Airey

Re: Want to scare yourself?

I have been well aware of the issue with two NTP servers disagreeing on time which is why across a WAN I'd never have less than four. The extra one is in case of a failures isn't available and the other three can vote on who has the right time. Assuming they aren't all depending on GPS that is (when I started doing this there were fewer than 10 public NTP servers in the UK I think it's better now).

It does seem lots of places are blocking ntptrace now. Not sure how you can abuse this information.

Hairy Airey

Want to scare yourself?

Do an ntptrace on any public stratum 2 or stratum 1 NTP server. Chances are it's getting its time from GPS.

Fears of fiber cable cuts, rogue drones menacing crowds at Super Bowl 50

Hairy Airey

Being the pedant I am

Football (ie soccer) is a throwy kicky game - neither is actually solely played with the feet.

The Superbowl is a big event in the US, it's been joked before that Russia could invade whilst it's on and no-one would notice. It's only a matter of time until it is attacked by terrorists.

In other news they are calling this year's Superbowl 50 because Superbowl L doesn't really appeal. Nor will Superbowl LI. Time to drop the Roman numerals I think.

Server retired after 18 years and ten months – beat that, readers!

Hairy Airey

PowerEdge 2200 Pentium II (Klamath) 233Mhz (dual processor) - still going and running CentOS 5.11 - two different 9GB SCSI disks - no disk errors in over 16 years. Weird machine all EISA and no IDE controller. The SCSI CD drive died about two years ago I think.

2015 was VMware's Year of Living Dangerously

Hairy Airey

Re: Re:fighting like banchies? was Where's the solution?

I suspect he means banshees - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banshee

Shame that speling is so atrocious in IT.

BOFH: Taking a spin in a decommissioned racer? On your own grill cam be it

Hairy Airey

Re: there is this to look forward to

Please - not the misguided busway. Probably the biggest reason that the A14 is full of trucks bringing goods from Felixstowe instead of on a freight train. They were even planning to build a terminal for rail freight at RAF Alconbury next to the A1(M) - idiotic planning by Cambridgeshire County Council.

New HTTP error code 451 to signal censorship

Hairy Airey

Re: IETF were not persuaded is was a good use of a limited number of status codes

You do realise that 418 was an April Fool's Joke don't you? https://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc2324.txt

Working with Asperger's in tech: We're in this together

Hairy Airey

If it's not a disability then what next?

The definition of disability (in the Equality Act) is "if you have a physical or mental impairment that has a 'substantial' and 'long-term' negative effect on your ability to do normal daily activities" - so although most with it wouldn't consider themselves disabled they are compared to the people that they work with.

As I have said elsewhere until there is a successful test case where someone sacked for their supposed lack of social skills caused because they have Asperger's Syndrome nothing is going to change.

I think its removal from DSM doesn't matter as it's still a condition however it's classified.

Hairy Airey

Just don't apply for work at Cancer Research UK

They sacked me on the grounds that I "would not fit in"

No employer would treat people the way they treated me - including offering me my job back "for a joke".

The person who started this complained at a Register event that they couldn't get skilled staff. Hardly a surprise if you won't employ someone with Asperger's Syndrome.


Playmobil cops broadside for 'racist' pirate slave

Hairy Airey

Interesting complaint

This is a pirate ship! They used an official distress flag (the Jolly Roger) to lure their victims.

Surely you should be questioning why you're condoning piracy on the high seas, before getting onto why they might put any of their crew in shackles?

Join Uber in a tale of rent seeking and employment law

Hairy Airey

Just to state the obvious - HMRC does not like "disguised employees" because someone who works for only one company is an employee. To get around this would involve more expenditure than paying PAYE etc. Although it probably does go on. Probably by people who

As for being able to use Maps on phones - I can recall a journey from London Bridge to Oxford Circus where three different road closures meant I went there via Euston Road. Given London's near gridlock I don't imagine many taxi drivers have the time to keep reprogramming their phone. The knowledge is still useful.

Silicon Valley now 'illegal' in Europe: Why Schrems vs Facebook is such a biggie

Hairy Airey

Re: Mainly a public sector issue

Actually there is at least one cloud provider that ensures your data stays within the EU. The one I'm thinking of allows you to store it all in the UK. Very good news for them this announcement.

The competition of course need to get the ability to keep cloud data within the EU sorted. I wonder how many companies have been using cloud companies but not mentioning that some of their users personal data is being stored in the US?

NOxious Volkswagen diesel emissions scandal: Chief falls on sword

Hairy Airey

All very hopeful of a refund...

However it's been established for some time now that you have around a fortnight to get a refund (UK of course - but I imagine it's the same elsewhere). So unless you very recently bought a car AND know it's affected no refund for you.

You can be pretty sure they won't be rushing to recall just yet.

The other problem of course is if the regulating authority decides that these cars should be immediately recalled and not driven until fixed. Which would be chaotic in so many ways. How many lost working days would that entail? Scary.

Wow, Barcelona really has a problem with tech disruptors. Watch out Airbnb

Hairy Airey

Not quite the same as Uber

The big difference between a hotel stay and renting an apartment is that you don't get thrown out of your room for cleaning. Plus you get the use of a washing machine (which means you don't have to fly so much luggage out). You might even get internet usage everywhere rather than paying for it in your room (as many hotels do). What's not to like?

Bible apps are EVIL says John McAfee as he phishes legal sysadmins in real time

Hairy Airey

Re: Bible apps?

That's pretty off topic - I suggest you do some actual research you'll find that the New Testament is the most accurately copied book in history because of the number of available manuscripts. Homer's Iliad has 643 and I think the figure for the New Testament is over 30,000. If you're taken in by the media stories that the truth of the Bible hangs on a single bit of evidence then you truly are a mug. I recommend Josh McDowell's books. He was a skeptic who set out to disprove Christianity and couldn't.

Hairy Airey

Re: Bible apps?

Same here - Nicky Gumbel's Bible in a Year app is updated daily so needs network access. That's pretty much it - network access for updates (not to the text I hope - just the app!)

I sense a man who is envious of Focus on the Family's 220 million audience. He's picked an easy target - probably to draw attention away from himself. Perhaps he should consider a career as a spy?

Hollywood takes a beating in Oscar cybersquatting battle

Hairy Airey

Re: Why?

Probably not - most courts these days insist that efforts to reconcile parties be made public so that they can see how unreasonable either or both sides are. There may well be other legal reasons to be forced to disclose the amounts.

There was a classic case a few years ago involving Wembley Stadium in which both sides spent a million pounds just on photocopying (possibly half each, but still a ridiculous amount) - the Court of Appeal did point out to them that it would have been cheaper to use the specialist technology courts.

When this whole case amounts to $348 that someone else made you can see that the only winners are the lawyers.

'The server broke and so did my back on the flight to fix it'

Hairy Airey


This is why you always fasten your seatbelt when seated on a plane! It stops unexpected turbulence bashing you in the head with the overhead lockers for a start.

Smart meters set to cost Blighty as much as replacing Trident

Hairy Airey

Re: Cost Benefit Analysis?

"Except it doesn't work like that. In my case the power company decided that they would change my electro-mechanical electricity meter for a "smart" one. Result total failure, as we have no reliable mobile phone signal here, so that option was out of the door. I'm certainly not prepared to share my broadband with them so wi-fi is another non-starter. Outcome, a miserable little thing not much bigger than a matchbox that is almost impossible to read and which gives me no indication of how much power I'm using or if the photo-voltaic panels on the roof are running. At least my old meter did show how much electricity I was using."

Surely you have two possible solutions? One is a current cost meter or similar (with two clamps and the code is easy to write to show usage and generation. Granted it's Linux but Windows is probably possible too) the other is a wifi adaptor in your inverter?

Oculus adds Surreal Vision to its virty portfolio

Hairy Airey

Fiona Johnson

Sorry did you say something? I was looking at the woman in the red dress...

Smile! Brit transport plods turn bodycams on travelling public

Hairy Airey

Re: Who is Kidding Who?

The roads are even more heavily subsidised - and vastly less efficient as a method of transporting people. Privatisation has given us the unique situation whereby the train operating companies can make money from not running trains or running late (as only 10% of those eligible for compensation bother to claim it). Imagine how quickly roads would be repaired if people were paid compensation for their delay.


Hairy Airey

All those with HP servers fitted with ilo will be delighted since that depends on Java, as well as APC's powerchute business edition.

As my previous boss said

Knock knock

Who's there?

(very very long pause)


(truly machine independent code - won't run on any machine!)

The coming of DAB+: Stereo eluded the radio star

Hairy Airey

Re: " it is harder to spot in a car most of the time."

Not to mention of course that the Highway can be fitted to almost any car even if it has a fitted radio. That's how it works in mine.

Mozilla piles on China's SSL cert overlord: We don't trust you either

Hairy Airey

Wasn't that long ago that there weren't even a dozen root CAs but the open market has put paid to that. Unless specific governments take this over I can't see how you can regulate it. Looking at what the IANA are doing with gTLDs I won't hold my breath.


Hairy Airey

Re: Benefit of the Guilds

You'll find that taxis are strictly licensed mainly for safety and honesty - there are still plenty of fake taxi companies at work in London that will rip off tourists. If you take a ride in an unlicensed and uninsured taxi you will receive very little compensation for injury. Uber et al are trying to jump on their bandwagon not a legal one.

Hello? Police? Yes, I'm a car and my idiot driver's crashed me

Hairy Airey

Re: You're screwed.com

Not that funny - lorries have been known to drive into houses.

Insight: Have you heard about Windows Server 2003 support?

Hairy Airey

Re: WS03?

W2K03 - in engineering 2K3 means 2300

BOFH: The Great HellDesk geek leave seek

Hairy Airey

Oops Simon...

If you are saying "proceedures" to someone you would need to explain where the two Es "together" are. See me after class...


Hairy Airey

Just waiting for...

.emptyyourwalletintoyournearestregistrar and have done with it!

Thundering gas destroys disks during data centre incident

Hairy Airey

Never mind the disks...

A sudden pressure change from these gas systems could perforate both your eardrums. Having worked in one of these centres I worked out how far I could run in the 30 seconds the system could be held off for. I reckoned I could just get safely clear before the gas went off because the stairs were a lot further away than the lift.

If you work in one of these environments and don't run regularly - take up running now, because nothing can replace your hearing.


Hairy Airey

Great article

I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2010 - didn't stop Cancer Research UK sacking me on the grounds that I "would not fit in" (for offences so petty I won't repeat them here).

Attitudes really have to change - I've been told by a Court of Appeal Judge "you're not disabled, you should be pleased you're not disabled".

Anyone who is interested can read more at http://facebook.com/nodismissalfordisability


Hairy Airey

Re: Better to have no gadgets during take off

Rest assured Lee D - if I'm on a flight that crashes that you're on I'd quite happily let you drown for your complete arrogance. I bet you are one of those who takes his seatbelt off as soon as the sign goes out (or probably undoes it when no-one is looking).

Unlike other modes of transport - planes can hit turbulence that will impact your head on the underside of the overhead lockers.

Try to take safety seriously - if you don't give a toss why should anyone else? If airlines knew you had this attitude to safety I doubt that any would let you on a plane.

IPCC: Yes, humans are definitely behind all this global warming we aren't having

Hairy Airey

In other news - Turkeys don't vote for Christmas

Call me a cynic - it's only since governments twigged that they could add extra taxes for "climate change" that the idea has gained any traction. As I understand it there are underground fires around the world that should be put out as they are contributing just as much CO2 as the motor car.

As for anonymous cowards idea that population is a bigger problem - just do the maths on worldwide population. If mankind had been around for millions of years our population would be in the trillions now. Notwithstanding that the fastest growing economies have the highest birth rate.

Got it taped: The business of tape-based disaster recovery

Hairy Airey

Re: Ironic choice of picture at http://www.theregister.co.uk/data_centre/

First of all - if your backups are taking all weekend then you need a faster backup solution. If you are depending on incremental backups you're one broken tape away from being unable to recover data. If you can take a full backup every day and have that stored off-site that's much better, but few places can.

The problem with the Friday backup is that it assumes your tapes will be safe until collection on Monday morning. Northgate Information Solutions got this wrong. You will lose over a week's worth of data this way (and just in salary cost that could be a huge amount).

Early Tuesday morning means that the tape or backup device can be put in on Monday (which may mean going in on a Bank Holiday of course or putting it in on Friday - OK that negates the reason for doing it on a Tuesday but we only have four Bank Holiday Mondays per year most years) .

If a catastrophe hits your building on Monday night you will of course lose a week's worth of backups - but that's a risk spread over 16 hours not 64 hours. Since with only one or two possible exceptions Tuesday will be a working day someone will be in to take the tape offsite. If something happens to your building the following weekend then you've lost only 4 days worth instead of potentially 8. You might find Wednesday or Thursday to be a better idea of course - but Friday is risky.

Hairy Airey


You've used a picture from the Buncefield explosion. Northgate Information Systems weren't allowed into their building (the red brick one) to retrieve their Friday tapes.

Early Tuesday morning is a much better choice for a full backup. The reason why is left as an exercise to the reader.

Asperger's and IT

Hairy Airey

Oops - I meant "the very problem that those with Asperger's have"

Hairy Airey

Not only do I have Asperger's - I was sacked from Cancer Research UK on the grounds that I "would not fit in", the very problem. The court service have been awful about it - Lord Justice Ward told me "you're not disabled - you should be pleased you're not disabled". A totally disgusting attitude. I've had CRUK staff assault me, been verbally abusive, they've been capricious and even offered me my job back "for a joke".

Only this week I've had an email from Cambridge University turning me down for a job on the basis that I was dismissed from CRUK - so both of them are going to employment tribunal now.

Read more at http://facebook.com/nodismissalfordisability

Discrimination in the workplace?

Hairy Airey

Cheers anewman

I love your optimism (note - I'm being sarcastic). It's only my optimism that keeps me going, because otherwise I'd kill myself. Given that the employer has already offered me my job back for a joke, I think it's only fair that I have the last laugh.

This was blatant discrimination, it's been to tribunal and they just ignored it. Parliament can pass as many laws as it likes but it's down to only a few Judges to enforce it (or not as the case may be). Who recalls the Judge who commended a burglar for his "bravery"?

Hairy Airey

Re: Discrimination in the workplace?

Correction, johnairey.epetitions.net.

BOFH: The Great Patch Mismatch

Hairy Airey


APC UPSs don't need a reboot when you change the battery - hold the power button in (the one marked "I") and it will commence a self-test (or start a self-test from the management interface). That clears the fault.

I've never had to reboot one for a battery replacement.

Young people today know nothing...

Lancashire man JAILED over April Jones Facebook posts

Hairy Airey
Thumb Up

Actually he was lucky not to be charged with contempt of court

I'm not sure of the timings of his "joke", however if it was after Mark Bridger was charged then he could also have been charged with contempt of court.

Free speech in the UK does not allow you to prejudice the outcome of a criminal trial, so thumbs up to the Register for not being dumb enough to repeat the most offensive joke.

Sky News admits two counts of computer hacking

Hairy Airey

No - the Public Interest Disclosure Act doesn't protect anyone

First of all, the decision of what's in the public interest is down to tribunal Judges who invariably represent companies as barristers.

Second, even when you do blow the whistle it's only the beginning. Paradoxically most sensible companies will settle for money than go to tribunal, so it is potentially a way to make money but not keep your job.

I blew the whistle on the lack of First Aid cover for a major charity, their auditor verifiably lied to the tribunal and she still hasn't been charged with perjury. Instead they concentrated on attacking me, and waited till tribunal to raise the issue of good faith. Companies are supposed to raise this at the time, not wait until after they've started their (in this case, dishonest) investigation. I am fairly certain that I was sacked on the instructions of a director who didn't want to go to prison for Corporate Mansalughter (someone collapsed, was refused an ambulance, there was no first aid cover and died later).

It still amazes me that these organisations would hack phones rather than cover stories of genuine interest. Even El Reg won't cover my other story how I was sacked from another charity because I "would not fit in". I have Asperger's Syndrome and that is exactly the problem I have. One of the HR staff where I work now says I'm weird, and she's right!

Windows XP support ends two years from now

Hairy Airey


I knew that El Reg was on top of the news, but posting news from the future is amazing!

What does the Titanic's sinking tell us about modern science?

Hairy Airey

If only Frederick Fleet knew what we know now

He committed suicide and never came to terms with why he survived and so many died. I am convinced If he had not done his job and alerted the bridge, the head on collision would have split the ship in two (and that's before reading about the brittleness of the steel).

My suspicion is the binoculars were hidden out of spite (based on a comment to him during the inquiry that's in the official report "you seem not to have trusted any of us" - he knew what complete bastards they were), and according to his evidence (and common sense) he would have seen the iceberg sooner. There were no waves that night so without the binoculars he couldn't determine whether he was looking at a small iceberg close up or a large one far away.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again that under our current Employment Law they could have sacked him for distressing the crew and he would not have been able to do anything about it. The shame of the Titanic sinking isn't just that it sunk, but that it could happen again.


Hairy Airey

Some good responses

No, that's not sarcasm either. I'd like to think that I'm generally sane, although I do have Asperger's and Bipolar Affective Disorder.

As for figures, well divide 5 billion years by the distance the earth is from the moon (average distance is fine or you could use apogee or perigee) and you'll be close to the annual regression of the moon. I'm not giving you all the figures I expect you to do some research yourselves.

Another conundrum is population. If mankind has been around for well over 6,000 years then population would be in the trillions. If the world population doubled every 150 years we'd be at a population around 6 billion after 4,800 years (32 doublings).

My belief in the power of faith is based both on my subjective experience of becoming a Christian over 25 years ago which changed my life and the objective surveys that have found that having a faith is better for your health. For example see the HEA statement - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/462748.stm. I base it on the historical evidence of the existence of Jesus, not just because I was told to believe it. On the contrary I had very little spiritual input in my childhood.

As for Westboro Baptist Church (and others like them) they do not represent the majority view of Christians. They should be locked up for inciting hatred, the irresponsible sociopaths that they are. They are just like the Pharisees of Jesus' day.

Hairy Airey

Not long ago all scientists were creationists

I understand Darwin's only qualification was a degree in Theology. I'm fairly certain that were he alive today he would be mortified that his paper had been turned into a modern religion. Fast forward to the present day and you now have a group of people who think that it's acceptable to make ad hominen attacks on anyone who thinks differently (eg calling them "Creationuts"). There is even a belief that if it weren't for religion that humanity and science would be much further ahead now (I cannot find any justification for this belief however but I am open to being proved wrong).

Phoebe has a very good point. Evolution is just as much a leap of faith as believing in creation.

I actually used to believe in it till I realised that I was only believing in it because I was told it was true. There are too many major problems with the theory for me to accept it scientifically. For example, if the moon is five billion years old then it would have been touching the earth back then if you presume it's moving away at the same rate it is now (in other words for the moon to be as old as it is presumed it would have to be moving away at a slower rate now or be further away - check my maths if you don't believe me).

Of course the irony is that if those who presume everything happened by chance are right, they will statistically be worse off in life than those who believe in God. Numerous studies have shown that having a faith gives you better health. So even if Christians are wrong, we die happy. Being right isn't everything.

UK government says no to turbo e-bike

Hairy Airey
Thumb Down

Stop with this obsession with road tax

Winston Churchill abolished road tax in 1937. There is Vehicle Excise Duty, which is emissions based. So a bicycle would be liable to pay the zero-rate, which clearly would be a waste of time and money to collect. (For the same reason they abolished the dog license).

Regular cyclists get their own insurance. The car driving cyclist haters should realise that there would be more cars on the road if you got rid of bikes.

In fact fuel duty and VED does not pay the whole cost of the roads. My reckoning, based of figures from the Green Party, is that the roads cost about £35 billion more a year to maintain (it might even be more). Which is why our railways are such a bargain at £4 billion a year (even in Beeching's day roads were much more subsidised, but I understand he was working for his "independent" boss who'd sold his shares in road haulage companies to his wife).

As for banning the bicycle - it's time that electricly assisted vehicles were allowed to travel at the speed limit, however the only reason I can see they aren't is that they have no legal requirement to have a speedometer and therefore being fined for speeding isn't reasonable.



Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2020