Tuesday, January 14, 2014

"I've Got Your Back, Babe"

This was always Adam's saying when it got really tough. Whether it was teaching our babies to put themsleves back to sleep, CIO (CIO= crying it out), taking away their pacifiers, or just a really shitty difficult day, I would hear, "I've got your back, babe." And it would refocus me or at least help me keep it together a little bit longer.

My point being, YOU NEED SUPPORT. Having a baby is tough! Even when they are on a perfect schedule, taking great naps, and eating well, it still gets tough! The crying, the neediness, the tiredness, it all starts weighing on you, and you will need SOMEONE who always has your back and keeps you going.

If you are pregnant and just thinking about how your going to implement a schedule in your life or you have an 8 month old who you want to take the pacifier away from, you're going to need support to implement your plan. There are shaky moments when your resolve gets tested and you're going to need that person to have your back and tell you you're doing the right thing!

When we found out we were having twins was when we decided we needed to figure out some way of keeping the peace in our lives. We both enjoyed sleep and hanging out watching movies and going out to eat. As desperate as we were to have a baby (and then 2!), we weren't ready to give those simple things up. That was when we found Babywise and it became a way of life for us. US, being the operative word. You need to practice it and have each others back when it gets TOUGH. If you are a single parent, find someone who can be your support that you can call on to build you back up when you begin to crumble.

For me, my support person was Adam and my outer support group was my family. Everyone knew even before the babies were born that we were going to use the Babywise method. If we had started this at 3, 6, or 9 months or even now, I would be sure to tell my outer support group what our plans were. That way the new changes weren't a shock and we could explain why we were doing what we were doing. (Comes in handy when a friend comes to visit and you're just chilling at the table while you baby is crying upstairs). Whether your support person is your partner, your parent, your best friend, whoever it is, plan everything out together. What are you going to do about sleeping arrangements, pacifiers, nursing/formula, and all other decisions- try and come to an agreement. And it may change- and that's fine- as long as you're both on board!

Isn't it funny how relationships work? It always seems that when one person begins to cave in, the other finds unwavering resolve, and then it switches. Use this to your advantage when training your baby and be there for each other. You both have to find something that works, you both have to agree to it (whole-heartedly!), you were the chosen one to have this baby born to, and you are the one who will have to find the strength to teach them how to survive in the world- and you can't do it alone as much as you think you can or should! So when you begin to feel guilty and start thinking you are the worst mother in the world for letting your baby cry until they self soothe and fall asleep, remember that for a few days of what seems like torture for you both, you are giving the baby the blessing of great sleep for years to come. So pat each other on the back, give a hug & kiss, tell each other you love them & appreciate them being there for you- because it's only the beginning!

Oct 2006

Dec 2013

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