Drama at Owambe Mart Lekki [and Giveaway Winner]

01:58 Naija girl next door 22 Comments

So I have gist. This is a long one.
   Two sundays ago I went to Owambe Mart in Lekki with my sister and my friend Adaeze. It was my first time there as I had just read Tuke's review about the place. It was afternoon and we were primed, almost giddy at the prospect of small chops.

    I go to a lot of places I want to review, but can't because I get immersed in the experience and forget to take pictures. This time I made an effort to remember. The sun was HOT but I posed in front of the small chops station outside, valiantly trying to look less like a frying spring roll, while my sis tried to take a decent picture.
     We give up after 3 or 4 tries, still tickled pink. Adaeze says, "I wonder why that girl was talking about you taking a picture".
I'm like, huh? Sorry what?
"You didn't hear her? One girl that just got here, she kept saying 'ha. In front of small chops? In front of small chops. Ha'. And she was really loud. She kept saying it over and over."
I'm like "Really? Haha, I must have been really carried away."
My sis says, "is it her business really? Does she know you have a blog?"
The way I see it, the girl is trying to get a response and we didn't even hear her, so mission not accomplished. Happy sunday still in progress.

      She tries again.
We walk in with me taking pictures of the place. This time I can hear her. "How can she be videoing? What is that?!"
    I ignore because why would I answer someone that's not talking to me? I'm not about to. As I pass by where they're standing, her friend who appears marginally more reasonable says "um, sorry excuse me, please the video you're taking..."
    I say "No it's not a video, I'm taking pictures of the place see?" And I show her to reassure her that she and her attention-hungry friend (let's go ahead and call her AH for clarity) are not in my pictures.
She nods, satisfied.

 I take a few more and then three of us hang by the cash counter waiting our turn, talking about the place and reading the standing menu, trying to decide.
They sell foodstuff too
    The sales girl then gets to my sis who's decided to sponsor (oshey!), "what do you want?"
She starts to give her our order, but Adaeze and I are adding and subtracting stuff from the order, so my sister has to keep correcting a few things and the sales girl tells us to decide while she attends to a little girl. No problem, we need more time anyway. But the little girl is indecisive too so after a few seconds she turns back to my sis, "oya what do you want? "
My sis says, "why don't you just pick one person to attend to first?" That was all.

  A-H goes offff. "Look ere, go ahead and f*****g place your horder! We were even ere before you and we're letting you horder and you're giving hattitude! Who the F*** are you giving hattitude!"
At this point, me and my people are three dropped jaws. A-H is saying the same thing, over and over, not pausing for breath. Finally my sis finds her voice long enough to say "What? What did I say? Who was even speaking to you?"
      A-H continues "You were giving the sales girl hattitude! If you think you have hattitude let me tell you I am the queen of hattitude! Ask about me, you will ear! Rubbish. F*****g Bitch!"
 Ok. Receive your award.
    She never slowed down and she was SHOUTING. Might I add that she had injected some faux foreign accent of unknown origin into her h-factor.
Her friend was supporting what she was saying, but in her indoor voice, "yeah, it was how you said it. You said it with attitude".
     My sis is like "I answered the sales girl because she asked me to order. If you came first all you had to do was say so and I'd gladly have moved aside. We're not even in a hurry! I didn't even talk to her!"

        I start laughing, because I just can't believe it. Someone like this shouldn't be on the loose... I tell my sis not to say another word, "you can't be seen talking back to a person like this".
Adaeze could only manage "Whoa".
  Meanwhile A-H is still on a tirade, even threatening physical violence. "Yes you can't talk to me o, you can't try it. Bitch. Ma fun e blow".
I was just thinking, Ooh I wish you would. I wish you would get physical. You won't believe how far we'll take this. Wallahi we'll arrest and prosecute. But I'm focusing on getting my sis to ignore and even act like she's not the one being insulted. She tries, but every now and then (because e dey pain) she would go "WOW!"
     What's most shocking is not even the crazy girl. I concluded she's ill. The babe had been trying so hard since she got there to get our attention. The devil was pushing her. No, what shocked me was the reaction of the staff- women, not literate and could only speak yoruba. When they heard this girl go off and switch to yoruba, they practically embraced her. They were indulgent, and fanned the flames with their amusement. A-H was riding on that high, she was welcomed and endorsed. Not one of those women tried to tell her to stop, or even say something soothing to my sis, at least for the sake of business! They ignored three of us and hooted with laughter as the screaming girl threatened violence.

      The only other customer who had been there from the onset, said sorry and told my sis to overlook it.
We went out to retrieve our small chops and by now had found our voices and were talking about how the girl had been stewing from the beginning and was just looking for an opportunity. The calmer friend came outside too and was still trying to defend her friend. I had to turn to her.
"Look, even if AT ALL you thought someone was rude to someone else, you really think the way to tell that person is to behave like this? Which is worse? Your friend is out here screaming and swearing, calling someone a bitch, and threatening violence and you think that's justified?"
She backpedals "Ok she shouldn't have done that but..."

A-H joins us.
"yesss what is going on here? What are we talking about? Heee, and you people are just coming from church."
Adaeze retorts, "are you not coming from church? Acting like that?" A-H yells no, actually I didn't go to church today!
Adaeze points out her neck, "you are wearing a cross though."
And we get into the car and leave. My sister has lost her appetite for small chops and says she's never going back there, nor will she recommend them or hire them for any event.

       As for the small chops themselves, they were not as good as I had hoped. They were kinda greasy, the spring roll filling was too little and the puff puff had barely any sugar in it. I don't even like a lot of sugar but this was too little. Besides, no one eats puff puff for the health benefits. Put that sugar.
       Last sunday Adaeze and I went back in the evening. Only puff puff was left. This time it was good, and there were no lunatics in sight.
   I'll go back once in a while if the craving is great. But if another small chops place opens up in phase 1, bye Owambe Mart.

GIVEAWAY WINNER- By random selection, Diane. Congrats Diane! You've won a bottle of African Naturalistas Black Moisturising Shampoo. Please leave your email address in the comments and I'll be in touch.


Meanwhile, here's a poster of the event I mentioned. Post coming up!



  1. That is totally like a movie or a clip from a drama series! So sorry about that, I hope you enjoyed the food though :-)

    1. It felt like a movie! Lol
      It was better the second time.

  2. I'm not sure I would've been able to overlook that 'h factor', you girls were strong!
    Sorry about your experience, getting small chops shouldn't come with this much drama or any at all.


    1. It did take a lot to ignore it =))
      Exactly, I kept thinking "Father it's only small chops I came here for o"

  3. Wow. These people are everywhere! I kuku know myself, I won't EVER step foot there again. EVER.

    awwww I won't be available for this event :( I hope you guys have fun and make me jealous with review!


    1. I thought they were extinct by now o. Isn't the weather too hot?
      Awwww I was hoping you'd be at the event. I'll be sure to post a recap

  4. Eish that girl just needed someone to go off on. Wow you handled it well coz im getting flustered just imagining the whole scene. It's that kind of personality which takes away from the experience, im glad it didn't stop you from going again.

    1. It was quite shocking, maybe that helped us block it out too.
      I guessed that was my drama quota for the year. It's unlikely to happen twice right? Might as well go back


    What? So much drama on a bluddy Sunday!

    She was just looking for somebody's trouble that day. Too bad she didn't find it.

    Nigerians are very interesting, sha. Everything is power play. Too many people trying to oppress, and people stand behind the louder person, because with all that gra gra, they'd think she is someone important.

    You handled it well sha. Well done!

    1. LOL
      Thank you :)
      We just didn't have what she was asking for. She'll try it with a fellow mad person one day and that will be a movie to watch

  6. WOW, The girl obviously has issues, ahnahn, kilode!

  7. Wow. So people like this really exist. I don't like drama, so if it were me, I would have walked far far away at the first sign of trouble. Sorry about your experience.

    1. Away from the small chops? I had to have it. :p
      They exist o, I was surprised too. If I hadn't been there myself and had heard from just my sis, I probably would have thought she embellished.

  8. When people feel threatened by one's appearance or presence, they start to act all funny! Sorry about the experience, I guess it had to happen, so that we can have this post up here.

    1. I agree with Uju - people see you and get threatened by how you look (why? I don't know) and start to act funny. Smh!
      I'm glad you handled it well but the shopowners didn't try at all.


    2. They didn't try at all o, but you know,they don't own the business so they weren't bothered.

  9. Yay!!!!! I won. Sending you an email asap. Thank you so much

  10. Sigh! I'd like to think she was pmsing or heartbroken cos an 'hattidue' like that is a no no. Im glad you girls handled it the way you did. As for the staff there... TSHEW!

    Personal Style - Wearing Thehdhqv

    1. Abi? All couldn't possibly be well. Prayers up for her.

  11. Hi Doc,

    Once I saw 'small chops', I became very interested in this post. Then, you added sweet gist into the mix, which sweetened the post even more. Lol

    Honestly, some people are Agents of Satan (AOS) looking for whose joy to steal. What upsets me is that they camouflage as normal people, I wish they'd simply place "AOS" stickers on their foreheads so that we can see them for the ticking time-bombs that they are, before they explode without warning.

    I've learnt from accidents in traffic, that spectators are not always objective. Indeed, "Misery loves company" some people take delight when there's chaos and they'll do their utmost best to fan the fires of discord.

    Ah! Puff-Puff should be sweet otherwise the whole indulging exercise becomes pointless. :-)