HeartNote, February 12, 2020: Friendship: The Car Rental Criteria

When my wife and I were dating, I found out a couple of things pretty quickly. She is a really good person. And she has friends. Friends that would rent her a car on the spot.

I discovered this because in our second month of dating, I needed to rent a car because I wrecked my car and I didn't have the money to rent one. As I'm resigning myself to the use of public transportation, she said she'd be happy to rent me a car. I almost fell down. I told her that I didn't know a soul that would rent me a car, and that included my kids. She didn't understand that. She gave me this querulous look and said, "I know about ten people that would rent me a car."

If you've consistently shown up for your friends, most will show up for you.

If you've given to them, you will be given to. If you haven't interrupted that process with too many bouts of anger or upset, you'll always keep the friends you've made. And they'll do far more for you than just rent you a car when you're in a pinch.

Your friends-real friends-will co-sign a loan, visit you in the hospital, take you to doctor's appointments, and show up to your house at two in the morning when you're absolutely beside yourself with grief. Mind you, you don't want to ask them to do that stuff too often. A constant state of crisis does not a friendship make. Friends that have been with you over time have weathered the storms of your emotional ups and downs. You've weathered theirs, too. And I imagine all of you reading this have at least one friend that you'd drop everything in order to help. I hope that you can think of one friend that would do the same for you.

Work on your friendships. Love each one of your friends to the point that you'd do any of the aforementioned in a heartbeat. And don't worry about reciprocity. Do the things you'd love to do for your friends to support them, and watch how much support you receive in return.

And sometime soon, ask a few of them if they could rent a car for you next week. Keep the one's that say "yes." They'll be there when you need more support than just a stinky little rental car.


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