Work Question - Bradenton,FL

Updated on May 26, 2012
K.O. asks from Bradenton, FL
10 answers

I've been working with this woman for a couple of years. Lately it's like jr high girl antics..when i walk by her she does eye rolls. Never any witnesses of course. When I ask a question she replies with one word answers or very sarcastic. So a few days ago I ask her if I had offended or upset her. One word reply - no. I ask if she'd like to go to lunch to discuss - uh, no. I know that not everyone is going to like me but come on at least be professional. She and her family are friends with the owner and they socialize on weekends together, which is how she got the job in the first place. There's no chance of talking with the owner but it seriously has become a hostile environment. Others have noticed it but they don't want on her bad side because of her closeness with the owner. I don't know what I'm asking other than do you have any advice on how to deal with the situation?

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answers from Washington DC on

why are you letting yourself get sucked into her games? That's EXACTLY what this is. A GAME.

She's got you and everyone else believing she's got some super-duper close relationship with the boss. So they socialize on the weekends. The boss needs to be able to separate business from pleasure. If you can document her 'stuff' - great. Take it to the boss. If you can't - fine - still go to the boss if you feel that strongly about it. I personally wouldn't. Why? Because.....

She's not your friend. She's your co-worker. Go to work. Do your job. Do it to the best of your ability and don't fall for her games or antics. When she sees it's not working - she will stop.

She said you haven't offended her. So press on. Don't let her get to you and don't give her free rent in your head. You can be nice. You can be cordial but you do NOT have to play her games. If you have to talk to her about work - great. If not - then don't.

You are the adult. Act like it (not saying you aren't) just reiterating it.

If you don't think you can handle it anymore - get your resume together and get it out and start looking for a new job.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Santa Barbara on

I just read that you have been on a shortened work day because of a family emergency, I'm very sorry for that. Any chance that she is resentful, mad, jealous or whatever?? Don't get sucked in to her garbage, don't look at her to catch her eye rolls. Move forward and just look at the source, she is an unprofessional twit.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

I would ignore her at most.

Don't invite her to lunch.

Just let it go & ignore her the best you can.

Try to go about your business & enjoy your job. Enjoy your day, at the very least.

Don't try to get others in on what you are thinking & noticing. Just pretend it's never happnening.

By not saying anything to others, you do not look like the bad guy.

Things will change. They always do. Just take care of you and your work!

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Tulsa on

Ignore her. What she's doing is immature, but I would hardly call that a hostile work environment.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

Yes...all you can do is control YOUR actions and reactions. Keep it 100% professional. She's doing a good job of making herself look like an idiot all by herself already if people are noticing!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Tampa on

Sounds like you have no choice but to either talk to the owner about it, you'd be surprised he/she may have a talk with her if you are a highly valued employee, or look for another job....You can't go on like this, it's not fair to you, since she sounds like a real mental patient...I can relate, trust me, my last job was great, but the majority of the people were real a-holes...Luckily, I've been home with my kids since, but have to go back soon...I promised myself that I will not put up with all the unnecessary unkindness and disrespect that I tolerated in my 20's/early 30's...Well, having a husband who can pay the bills certainly helps, so, I'll have no quams quitting until I find one that doesn't make my stomach drop with dread every morning...Life is too short!!!!!!! Good luck...

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

What is your position in the company?

What is her position in the company?

Small company or large?

Why would you want to break bread with someone who does not treat you well, with any respect and doesn't like you?

If she's doing a good job and you are doing a good job and Florida is an "at will" state, you probably should start looking for another job if things have truly become unbarable.

As for her closeness with the owners, If you are this upset, your boss should know.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Austin on

One of the great 'get-evens' is acting liek you haven't noticed. But since you have already let her know that you notice it--just act super busy in your onw life.

At lunch, read a book or knit or any other act that makes it seem as if you like yourself and have no inkling that you have not beeninviting into her clique.

But, do NOT act mad, resentful or hurt. She is a bully and will enjoy that.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Gainesville on

Is it affecting your work? How closely do you work with her? Do you really need to interact with her at all? If her not liking you doesn't matter, let it go and ignore her. You'll go back to mutual indifference soon enough.
Don't hold the lunch refusal against her: you don't know her finances and if she doesn't like you she wouldn't want to spend money to spend time with you. However, a quick word in an empty conference room when nothing stressful is going on is reasonable. Keep the conversation non-emotional, and focus on what you want: simple pleasantness, and why is she rolling her eyes and nonresponsive to your questions? That's a direct question and if you are respectful you can expect an answer.
If she refuses to answer and it affects the work product you can go to her direct supervisor, even if it's the owner. You don't have to assume you can't go to the owner with a business concern. You say that you two are having difficulty achieving X because she does not seem to want to communicate with you. You can ask for a third person to facilitate communications; not a full-time person, but just for a meeting or two because for some reason you two are stuck. If it's an admin thing and you aren't professional equals, be nice to her and suck it up. If she's derelict in her duty to you, just mention that fact and that fact only when you talk to her supervisor. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

Okay... so I was in the military for awhile... and learned some cool tricks. This one is from the whole 'can't quit your job' part when you work with heinous people:

Barring kids/pets

Anything that can make you angry/hurt can ALSO, looked the right way, make you laugh.

She can't help the eye rolling. It happens every time she farts. Frog impersonations. S&M. With the mousy guy down the hall as a dom. Mental note; take 3 martinis and some steel wool to my brain after work. OUT image, out! Eye aerobics (try to get a beat going in your head in time to it, preferably with a Richard Simmons voice over).


The thing is, as you're thinking these things up that "explain" Cruella's behavior, you'll look quite focused and thoughtful... which translates as respectful/paying attention. When really, you're debating whether it's contraband hamsters that are making her twitch like that (snotty shoulder shake), or the Clap.

1 mom found this helpful
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