18:53:36: Package picked up by Leroy Palestine
18:53:37: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Mac Nielson.  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  Mac Nielson mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  Mac Nielson took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  Mac Nielson put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  Mac Nielson crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Leroy Palestine to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  Leroy Palestine came into view.  Mac Nielson pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Mac Nielson had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Mac Nielson barely heard Leroy Palestine running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  Leroy Palestine continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
19:00:21: Leroy Palestine is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads.  Dangerous territory.  A field of Space Bastards, but Leroy Palestine smiles.  Winners aren't born; they're built.  Leroy Palestine lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below.  One failed attempt.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Each attempted theft of the package raises Leroy Palestine's adrenaline.  Blaylock Samson fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Leroy Palestine.  "Not today, my friend."  Leroy Palestine twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Blaylock Samson four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
19:54:32: Package delivered by Leroy Palestine for $40,000