Saturday, November 27, 2010

College Gameday - Week 13 - November 27, 2010 (UPDATED!!!)

UPDATE: Since today is the day after African American Friday, do not forget to get the people that you really care about their SEC jerseys for Christmas. You do not want your family to HATE you, do you?

Dude, I almost forgot to post this College Gameday! No FREAKING way! If you are looking for The Four Letter's Circus Clown Posse, they are actually at a FREAKING footbaw game!!! Remember there are only one point five (1.5) conferences that are legitimate championship conferences, the SEC and the Big 12 South. Kirker Streeter Herber's Moron Mafia is at Boone Pickens Stadium, Okiehomie for the Cowboys and the Indians Sooners game. This is a Big 12 South game, in case you are stuck watching PAC-10 footbaw and do not know anything about Division I footbaw. Worse, if you are stuck watching Boise State footbaw, and have no clue how the game is played by the males of the human species, turn on the color television set and find this game. It might terrify you, so keep some ridiculously blue GAYNESS in your vicinity for homo-comfort. (Please keep in mind, just because you are a sissy, it doesn't mean that you have to always BE a sissy.)

My game picks are below the scoreboard, and I am a stellar 0-36 on the season. Please read my picks and then go whole hawg the other way. It would be nice when you become a multi-millionaire betting against me if you sent along some of your windfall. Mind your manners, Colonel Rube...

Dude, the lines are changing like crazy today. I really cannot get a true reading, but as I write, the line is what I see. I have never seen the boards do this as crazy-ass nutz crazy.

First game out, The Barn at Bammer. I cannot find the line or the over, so just pick The Barn to win 28-27. Use that score exactly and I think that you will be pleasantly surprised. For some reason, the sports books just do not want to fund this game, maybe they are just too skeered.

UK at Rocky Top. Da Owange is -2.5 O/U is 58.5. Rocky Top has a chance to go bowling if they pull this one off. Look for them to do it, UT and the OVER.

Geaux Tigers (#5) at Hawgs (#12). Hawgs are -3.5 and the O/U is 54. There is a Duck-Line at Hawgs -5, too. I have always thought that home field advantage meant something, but obviously Begas is just not on the Geaux Tigers. But, I am all-in on the Geaux Tigers with the over. Look for the Hawg's Big Tex (How gay is that nickname?) to play for the PRO-MONEY and have a good day unless the Tigers knock him the FUCK out.

Da Gates at Da Criminoles. Gates +2.5? I am unsure of how good the Criminoles are because this is their only game of the year. The O/U is 51 and that is just weird because I cannot imagine the Gates scoring 51 points. Do the Criminoles even have scholarship athletes? Why do Flarda Gates schedule someone that only plays one game a year? Weird. Da Gates and the under. In related news, Jenn Sterger was a walk-on linebacker at Criminoles. She has pictures of BrittFarr's PENIS.

We Suck at Knee-grow Bears. The West Dawgs are minus three and the O/U is 54. Let's just say, Dawgs and the under. I really cannot pick this game, just like all the other games.

'Cocks at Clemson. USC -2.5 O/U 45. With the 'Cocks as the East Champs, I think that this game might be closer than folks think. Why would 'Cocks Corch Spermier play folks and get them hurt in a game that doesn't matter? 'Cocks and the over, anyway.

BYE at Vandy. Really, it is Arnold Palmer against Vandy which seems like a pretty good match-up. Palmer is +5 and the O/U is 49.5. Arnie is actually eighty one years old, so I do not look for him to perform too well. Look for Palmer to lose and Vandy to run up the score if they can.

GayTech v. UGA. Can this actually be right? UGA -13 and O/U 56.5? REALLY? Anyhoo, this game is for bowling rights for UGA. Pick the East Dawgs and the over.

And today, please Corch Croom, bring some CROOMIN' to the We Suck West Dawgs. We N-E-E-D this one. We NEED it.

College Gameday!!!

Please take the time to comment.


Basil said...

You forgot one game: Auburn by 1. Bet the farm. Don't stop there. Bet $180,000 on it. YellaFella did.

Paul Mitchell said...

Naw, Basil. That was the first game I picked. I even gave a score, 28-27. Book it, I am on a roll.

Basil said...

How did I miss that? I'm a dumbass. I need to enroll in Auburn now. Maybe YellaFella will offer me money to go there.

Paul Mitchell said...

I miss stuff like that all the time. I sure hope you got your bet down in time. I am positive that one is a lock.

I hear that The Barn is giving away a Tramp Stamp of "War Eagle" with every enrollment, this week and this week only.

Basil said...

How do you keep an Auburn grad out of your yard? Stop ordering pizza.

Paul Mitchell said...

Basil, I'm stealing this, modifying it, and rushing to FAILbook for the big game trash talking.