The pillars of Gentle Teaching (safe, loved, loving, and engaged) have taught me the difference between equal and equitable.

Dr. John McGee’s Gentle Teaching has transformed the person I am by helping me to understand that everyone deserves the help that they require. This is beneficial to me as I start my internship at a local inner-city school through the University of Regina Faculty of Education. As I start this journey, the teachings of McGee will continue to guide and shape my thought process by helping me to understand that there are reasons behind any action, as well as by helping me recognize the difference between equal and equitable. Together these teachings help me to better support those around me.

The realization that there is a reason behind any action will help to guide me in the future. The importance of recognizing things like attention seeking behaviours helps me to understand that some “negative” behaviours may stem from a negative experience or that a person may be lacking positive attention so they are seeking that attention through behaviours. A key for me to deal with this is to remember the four tools of gentle teaching; presence, words, hands, and eyes. By having a welcoming presence, words of encouragement/recognition and to spread conversation throughout the class, using my body language to show that I am calm and accepting, and my eyes to recognize everyone’s presence I will be able to provide positive attention to all students.

GT has helped me

Along with the tools, the pillars of Gentle Teaching (safe, loved, loving, and engaged) have taught me the difference between equal and equitable. This will guide me in supporting individuals who I serve with COR as well as in school. This is important because the pillars can be used as categories of self-fulfillment. When considering a person’s level of content with their pillars, there may be pillars where that persons level of content is higher than others. This is similar to using a wellness wheel to measure different areas of health like physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual. By using the four pillars of gentle teaching I am able to better understand that everyone feels more content and less content in different areas so everyone needs equitable treatment that focuses on the pillar(s) that they need to improve the most in order to make that individual feel fulfilled in all four pillars. Where as equal treatment would focus on helping everyone progress in the same way without considering individual needs. Considering the four pillars will help me to make sure that people feel fulfilled in those areas and are able to say “in this place I feel safe, I feel loved, I am able to love and I am engaged with the people and things around me”. This helps me to better understand that everyone needs support in their own specific way.

Gentle Teaching has helped to transform me into the person I am today. The teachings help me to better comprehend the idea that every person needs a different form of support. Through critical thinking I am able to understand that there are reasons for any action and that people deserve to have support that suits their needs instead of one uniform approach. Gentle Teaching has helped me to grow as a teacher, support person and most importantly as a person.



COR Family Member


Vulnerabilities of Caregivers – John J. McGee



John J. McGee’s “Mending Broken Hearts” CPLS Newsletter








Mentoring is About…






– Human interdependence as the center of the human condition.




-John McGee


Who The Other Is: Human Vulnerabilities and Gifts





Each person is a unique expression of the human condition




John J. McGee

Common Situations: Refusal to Participate

Common Situations: Refusal to Participate

If the person refuses to participate,

• Bring about minimal participation by doing activities with the person.
• Continue to dialogue.

We are challenged to enable participation and establish feelings of solidarity


To bring hope where only despair reigns



-John J. McGee, PhD

Mentors Cannot Give What They Do Not Have

“Mentors cannot give what they do not have. Mentors are not about changing anyone’s behaviours; they are about focusing on others feeling safe with them and loved by them. Nothing more and nothing less. When in situations where there might be opportunities to state what they are against, they merely share what they are for.

Mentors do not devalue, put down or condescend; they lift up, respect, and simply share what they might do. They do not forbid or frown upon those actions that they do not like. They must be embedded in daily hands-on experiences with the most marginalized. They find joy in being among the most forsaken; they reach out to the most abandoned. The Mentor’s work is with caregivers in union with the most marginalized.”

-John McGee

Mentors cannot give what they do not have

We Need To Be The Most Loving During The Worst Moments

“We often see ourselves as better than those whom we serve and express this in talking down to those who are troubled, acting condescendingly, separating ourselves from their lives, and making sure that we are in control instead of dialoguing. Our task as caregivers is companionship and community. Our culture makes it harder because there is an expectation that we must control others by withholding ‘positive attention’ when someone is acting out. Our position is the opposite. We need to be the most loving during the worst moments.

-John McGee

Our role as caregivers is to provide community and companionship

Unconditional Value



Warmth can be felt





-John McGee

Defining Empathy

“Empathy is not pity.”

“It is a feeling of being-one-with-the-other. It is trying to understand and sense why a child or adult is acting in a particular way and reflecting on the cumulative impact of each persons life history–years of segregation, submission, and isolation that gnaw away at the spirit. It is a spirit of sharing our common humanity, and the belief that no one exists as a mere individual but that we all exist interdependently…Empathy does not mean over-protection. It comes from our knowledge of the other and ourselves, our reality, our vulnerabilities, and our strengths and weaknesses. It is caring about the others anger, frustrations and rejection instead of whether the other is obeying or producing.


We need to represent kindness, serenity and peace. It involves recognition of the personal and social dimensions of what it means to be handicapped, mentally ill, poor or abandoned. It remains steadfast during the good times and bad, at the depths of fury and the heights of joy. Nobody is only a student, a client, a resident, homeless, poor, or powerless. Empathy drives us to uncover the human condition and reveal its fullness, our fragility in the face of life’s vicissitudes, or vulnerability to emotional disruption, and our need for being-with others. We need to consider that we are but one short from homelessness ourselves.”

-John J. McGee

Process of Stretching




• From brokenhearted and lonely, to safe and loved;






– John J. McGee, PhD