counselling and its myths

What is counselling?


British Association of Counsellor’s and Psychotherapist (BACP) definition:



In my words


Counselling offers the opportunity to talk confidentially to someone impartial, giving a client the space to explore their true thoughts, feelings or behaviours and be supported without judgement.  A counsellor will gently encourage the client to express what is troubling them and as a result of the counsellor’s training will be able to accept and reflect the client’s problems without becoming burdened by them.




The Counsellor will tell me what my problems are and how to ‘fix’ them.


Counselling does not involve the counsellor telling you where you are going wrong and what to do about it.

A counsellor is there to guide you in finding your own solutions.

I whole-heartedly believe and have experienced that we all have our own solutions; I use my skills to help my clients find them.


If I go to Counselling everyone I know will find out.


Counselling is a confidential service; anything that is shared with a reputable counselling cannot be shared with any other person.

Within the Ethical Framework set down by the BACP, and other organisation’s the only exception to the client/counsellor confidentiality agreement is if the counsellor feels that the client or another is at risk from harm.  The counsellor will always inform the client is they feel they need to break this agreement.


How can talking to a stranger help?


Talking to a stranger is how most relationships start.

The fact that a counsellor is a stranger is one of the important aspects that helps counselling to work.

A counsellor is not a part of your day-to-day life; this gives the capability of being impartial with no bias.


Counselling is for people who are weak and can’t handle their own problems.


In truth it’s the opposite kind of person who seeks counselling, being the sort of person who has the strength to face their problems head on.

Seeking help takes courage as you are attempting to address a problem instead of sitting in denial.


Counselling doesn’t work.


Counselling is not for everyone.

Counselling will only work with the client’s input and commitment.

As with other forms of helping (medicine, personal training, diet groups) counselling will only help to a greater or lesser extent depending on the clients commitment.

Some take a dose of counselling but don’t finish the whole bottle.


How do I find a reputable counsellor?


You need to find a qualified, experienced, professionally accredited and insured counsellor.  The simplest way is via:


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