The Voice

Two today, both with the same title, the first written on the 27 April 2012, the second written earlier this year. I had forgotten about the first one and only found it as I couldn’t remember where I’d saved the recent one and a search on my computer threw both of them up. I thought I’d share both as it is a good indication of how far I have journeyed in the last few years and I figure it might give those of who read my site and may be suffering from depression or anxiety hope that time does heal. Everything changes with time, hang in there. ❤

The Voice

Today, I cannot silence the voice,

nor the constant drumbeat

accompanying it,

that reverberates through

my every bone


The voice that tells me

I am no good,

The constant beat,

You are useless, useless, useless

an endless track.


The voice will not be quelled,

Silence is its power;

I cannot outrun it

for the beat

matches each and every step.


The voice will not be drowned

out by music,

I turn the volume up

’til my ears bleed

it cannot override the beat.


The voice accompanies me

night and day,

even as I sleep

the drumbeat

relentless in it desire

to destroy.

© Niamh 27/04/12


The Voice 


A whisper of moments past

a reminder of a time, a place

I thought I was stuck

a loop, a beat,  once unending

but now silenced

even in the night


I hear the birds sing,

the rain, and rustle of leaves,

the hum of the earth

beneath my feet,

the pulse of joy

in my heart


and I know I am free.


The voice that berated

criticised and

almost destroyed

was not mine

but memories of

words spoken


to me, of me

that sunk in

and became my truth

held me prisoner

its power washed away

by gentle words of love


that set me free.


© Niamh 19/01/19

Earth song

I hear the music

not with my ears

but through

the soles of my feet


I feel the earth beat

as it changes with time

each season a movement

my life a symphony


I am the second violin

to your first,

together we move

in tune

in sync


We wait for the orchestra

to join in

to become one body

of song


we can heal

the world

if we can all play

the same notes



© Niamh Corcoran   9/11/2012

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In the dark

I hear steps behind me,

soft soled creeping slowly closer,

then dropping away

just like you did in our life


playing on my fears and emotions

a Chinese water torture

of anger and dread

denial and disbelief


even then I knew the truth

but hardly dared believe,

now I am moving on

breaking slowly free

but still your footsteps echo


long into the night

cutting into my sleep

a cry before dawn


©  Niamh Corcoran 31/1/2016


I am

The pellucid promise of a  sunny future

turns opaque in a mist of silence

and carefully timed thrusts

screams stuttered to a halt

by a look, a smirk, a knowing

that you’re caught as surely

as a noose around your neck,

the gold band you wore so proudly

the children you love so deeply

bind you to your jailer as he waltzes

upon a trap he believes unbreakable

humming a tune only he can hear

deaf to all but his own words, blinded

by his overgrown ego; he is safe

does not notice the subtle changes

that will break the walls trapping you

he has stolen your voice claims your

body as his own but not your soul nor

the strength of spirit that will set you


The Prize

when the price becomes too high

the knife edge seems sharper

the blade cuts deeper, each wound

bleeds brighter, longer


the noose tightens, suffocates

the world turns a nauseous

shade of blue, each breath stabs

even as it grasps


the lifeline dangles just out of reach,

held aloft by your raw and bitter

laughter, your foot on my throat

stamps and


blackness takes hold,

your apologies with your tears

fall like blood drops

to a sanitised floor


I watch through swollen eyes

as you are led away

between two policewomen

with well-practised ennui


a nurse fiddles with a drip

pats my hand in sympathy

tells me you will  cause

no more trouble


but I know better

you will chase me down

the prize is not in the having

but in never letting go.


© Niamh  20/01/2015

I want you…

to see me

not as a body ripe for


but as moonlight

an unwavering glow


no, not the moon

for she waxes and wanes

but the steadiness

of the sun

a constant


not reliable or


but prone to bursts

of fire


by times hidden

yet you know she is there.


To be your sunlight,

to warm you

guide you

to have you

seek me.


© Niamh 8/11/2011


In the bright noon sun,

I sensed the warmth of you next to me.

I needed someone to validate me

I grasped your love with both hands

And threw myself into the whirlpool.


As the sun sank, I realised

I expected too much of you.

I thought you could set me free.

Now I know that was too much to ask,

That love for another is not what I need

But to learn to love me.


In the shadows of night I can see

That it was never meant to be

You were nothing but a fantasy.

The pedestal on which you stood

Slowly crumbling as time went by.


I stand alone, unloved, unworthy

There was no pedestal designed for me.

As the morning dawns I wonder,

If I could feel your love again

Would it change how I feel about me?



© Niamh Corcoran 29/05/2011

Ghosts of the past

I sit surrounded by ghosts from the past

old chests of drawers, desks and shelves,

age has rendered them useless

yet they take up space in my house.

Occasional tables with legs too spindly

to bear any weight, dotted around,

paintings of scenes I do not recognise,

portraits of people I do not know,

stacked behind doors and cupboards

because there is no more wall.

Past lives lived and forgotten,

yet they take up so much of my life

they are not of my past, my history,

but they are here to stay

as another cannot let go

of these meaningless things,

they have passed for years

an unbroken chain through a family

and ended up with me here.

I feel these ghosts looking at me

disparagingly, disapprovingly,

for I do not share their values,

their lifestyle, their pasts

I am from a different time and place

I have no need of them or their things.

I wish to live in the present

uncluttered, unhindered, free,

yet someone important to me

clings like an anemone to a rock

to the ghosts of his past.


if luck were sandy beach

would you  take just a grain,

or a bucketful?

build a castle to share

or a moat to keep

others and the sea at bay


if luck were a lawn

would  you take just a blade

or a handful?

let it grow tall and free

or mow it

so others could have less


if luck were stars in the sky

would you take a small one,

or perhaps the sun?

put it in a window to

to light the way

or hide it

so others live in the dark.

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