For Your Amusement, Surreal Sailing Stories

Surreal Sailing Stories Part 6: The Way Forward

It’s been a long while since we’ve heard from our intergalactic selves. As per a request from a friend to “make Poop Deck in space stuff forever,” I aim to please.

We left off in November 2020 with this: The story will continue. We will show you what is possible in a new world, and it’s fantastic.

For the moment, we are having our post election party in another dimension, in the future, where Andrew is President of the US and Beyoncé is Ruler of the Universe. It’s a great party, there is no COVID, cancer, poverty, or hunger. It’s a great world. It’s all possible when people aren’t assholes.

We left off with Andrew as President of the US and Beyoncé as Ruler of the Universe. How did we get here? Time travel and parallel dimensions with the aid of General Jenny, my inter-dimensional doppelgänger.

In your dimension, some fucked up shit was happening. You are all were waiting out the US election while COVID numbers rose. In the dimension we traveled to, due to my cosmic va-jj rays, an alternative route was taken.

In his second, and very necessary decree, Andrew created a mandatory Compassion Training Program for all US citizens. In fact, you earned universal income, all student loan debt forgiven, and free health care for attending.

His entire campaign was based on the premise that there was enough to go around for everyone, and that if all people would agree to be kind, the government would take care of them. He said the funds would come from his own pocket and no one would spend a dime.

Even haters like free stuff, so they decided to take a gamble. How did Andrew do this?

Well, in other worlds, like General Jenny’s, money doesn’t exist. Even on Earth in any dimension, it’s basically made up. So she gave him the platform and template for the path forward.

If you’ve ever watched Star Trek, that was actually a “how to guide for the 21st century” sent to us through dreams and inspiration by General Jenny’s world.

Why was it only a TV show and movie franchise and not reality? Capitalism. This wasn’t the first time a parallel dimension had tried to intervene with Earth, but the data kept getting swept under the rug and taken over by wealthy people in power.

Yes, there have been many attempts at this for a long time, but it has always gotten corrupted somehow. How? Fame, fear, and power seduce people on this planet. It’s a slippery slope of influence and ego that we humans get hooked on. Even really good people succumb to the flaws of the grasping human ego and desire.

General Jenny also gave Eric and I the technology for clean and pure energy. Oh, and the cure for cancer and all kinds of horrible ailments like Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. It was coded in Poop Deck’s new badass interstellar computer program. So, shit was looking up for our primitive planet. At least in the dimension we were in.

Finally, in late January, as we were working hard at world peace, we found out that Biden/Harris had won and that Trump was slithering off to whatever toxic wormhole he came from. A year of pandemic, a totally insane insurrection attempt, and all kinds of fuckery was behind us. We watched this all unfold from tiny portholes in the space time continuum from the dimension where Beyonce reigned supreme and Andrew Beduhn was in charge of the US.

Everything was going well in that dimension, but as we watched this one continue to struggle, we kept wondering: how do we translate this peace and prosperity to our dimension, where there was still rampant poverty, violence, oppression and greed?

That, my friends, is where the story gets even weirder. I know what comes next for us. Stay tuned.

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