Friday, 30 November 2012

The Mystical Beast Escapes

My militia is pushing Metropolis hard this week, ahead of the hyperspace bypass that CCP is putting in between Isbrabata and Siseide and Eszur and wherever. It isn't hard to get 25 guys in a fleet shlepping about a timer, and boredom can quicjkly ensue, especially when everyone has been drinking.

It is however not just drunken ornery Militia men whose ears perk up and battlechubbies throb when you spot a Tengu soloing C3's. Tengus like that are invariably pimped carebear chariots, and everyone loves a good pimped T3 kill. It is a mythical creature, like a vodyanoi, a unicorn, a jackalope.

Like fantastical creatures, one must not approach brutishly. One needs to approach them most carefully, silently in fact, with great respect. They frighten easily, and like a yeti or bigfooot, once scared they wwill be gone, forever.

The other part of the equation is just sheer uncaring mathematics. A Cheetah of Doom costs 50-70M, fiitted. For a 3 billion ISK Tengu gank, I will hero tackle them, and die proudly, knowing I will be well on the right side of the ISK war.

This was made abundantly clear to the 25 guys in fleet, who were all in T1, T2 frigates, with a few pimped pirate frigates. Not all of use will make it; we'll be going in hot against a Tengu and 2 sleeper battleships. You may not make it, but you will die gloriously. Keeping point, overheating everything, and dying like champions is the order. Everyone understood, as we circled the wormhole from Eszur like a ravenous school of shark babies. Well, I thought everyone understood it.

I saw the Tengu aligned to planet 6; I got the only other bomber with a point to warp to P6 at zero to tackle him in case the Cheetah of Dom missed the initial tackle. I mean, you have 5 seconds to get point and the guy is aligned - but when he kills a BS you decloak and bump, and it can work. You then die terribly, but its all part of the awesome. So, we have a bomber on backup at the Tengu's pounce.

I get decloaked by a missile, a few seconds too early. I call for the bomber to get ready, as the Tengu bails immediately.I warp to P6 at zero, hoping to land first and get point, hoping the Tengu didn't warp to one of the 23 moons, the POCO.

I land, miss point by half a second, 5km away. And then the bomber decloaks as I've landed on him at zero. I'm flabbergasted. What the fuck was not made abundantly clear? Decloak, get point, hero tackle, die - i certainly will be.

So, the mythical animal melts into the forest and is gone. The magic is broken. It would have been that dude's first loss. If it had been a BUGRY guy, and not a militia scrub, we'd have handed him his first loss, and a fucking good one. Alas, twas not to be.


  1. Having the delusion of "dying like a champion" when you need 25 guys to fight 1. Priceless.

  2. You clearly have no idea. It would be the Sleepers that killed us, not the Tengu. Learn 2 wormhole, Caerise/Cynthia.

