Of Social Media & Battling Anxiety


I realize that I have not blogged in a long while and I think it's time I explain why.

At the end of 2017, I realized that being an influencer really took a toll on my mental health and the thing was, it was my over-sharing that made it so. I was sharing so much on social media, it was like a fodder for people to talk about me and, worse, make assumptions about me because they think they know me.

The truth is, I never shared too much on social media. I thought I had the perfect balance between public and private life. But because so many essential details were left out of the public eye, people made assumptions about my life that were completely off base.

But I can't blame them for taking pieces of an incomplete puzzle and drawing their own conclusions. So instead, I stopped. Blogging. Instagram. Facebook. Everything. And Alhamdulillah, it worked! I am in a better place now.

After 4 years, I have been quite generous in my sharing again especially in things that disappear after 24 hours but the truth is, the thousands of views still gets to me. It's like I don't feel safe on my own social media. I was shocked when my friend told me her views were usually below a hundred. How nice, I thought. To not feel like you have so many eyes on you.

For me, being an influencer is a responsibility which I do not take lightly. I have to ensure that the messaging I share across are not hurtful or harmful to others and if possible, be beneficial to the readers. Maybe it's my own fault for taking life too seriously but it's my personal belief. I also absolutely dread keyboard warriors that cannot see reason and has no idea of the concept 'agree to disagree'. Or worse, randomly says hurtful things.

Yes, it comes with the territory. So, I stopped la. Simple. 

And in the breeze of the wind, 
I hear them speak of me still, 
when I have given them nothing to say.

And it is as clear as the blue skies above me 
that they have misplaced recrimination, 
for care.
And confused unthinking disregard, 
for charm.

Did they never learn that appearances are often misleading?

| don't judge a book by its cover |

With love,

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