15 January 2011

Out of the mouth of babes...

"Mommy, what's a lap dance?" asked by my 11 year old son while watching TV.  Guess we'll be monitoring TV viewing a little more closely...

"She's dressed like a common street whore."  said by my 10 year old daughter while we were people watching.  Again, TV viewing will be monitored...

"Yes I know what a prostitute is.  No I don't want to go there.  And you think I don't learn anything from the TV." again by the 10 year old.  Again the TV...

"I'll give anything to get the DS working again.  I'll even give up my kidney!" by the 11 year old after he learns that throwing your DS will result in it not working!

"It was not a pick, it was a scratch!"  by one of the kids, but I will protect them from further embarrassment.

"Give me my passport woman!  I am running away!" by the 11 year old.  At least he is smart enough to realize he needs his passport.

"What do you mean I'll have to do chores when I'm a grown up?!" said by both children on chore day!

"I know he wants to mate with us.  I do watch the Animal Channel." by the 10 year old when our newly adopted rabbit became rather amorous...

"So if I can't say sex, how do I count to 10 in Icelandic?" (6 = sex)  by the 10 year old (she was 6 at the time, figures!)

"Why are her nickels brown, but her's are pink" by the 10 year old (when she was 6) in the locker room at the local pool in Iceland.  Yes, in her best stage whisper (but at least she wasn't pointing).  I'll let you figure out what nickels are.

"How come some have hair, some have no hair and some have hair in funny shapes?" same visit to the locker room with the 10 year old.  It was a busy night at the pool.  Again, I'll let you figure out what she was talking about.

"I love being at the top of the food chain." by the 10 year old after eating Mr. Ed.

"I'm never going to college.  I want to live with you forever!" by the 11 year old, after I told him he would not always be living with me.

"Ok, so I think we should go to Fiji for the weekend." by the 11 year old when asked what we should do for the weekend.  Still doesn't understand that it is really not a weekend trip from here.

"I miss Amiee!" 11 year old while eating a cookie, which reminded him of our friend.  Amiee's nickname is Cookie!

"Seriously!?" by the 10 year old.  Man I am dreading puberty!

"I'm smarter than you because you don't know everything and sometimes you make mistakes." by the 10 year old.  She was 5 when she said this.  She should be happy she made it to 10.

"So do I have any hair under my arms?" by the 11 year old just today.  Keeping track of his "man hairs" because he is 11 you know.

"This was a great night!" by the 10 year old.  Tonight on the way home from Special Time.

"I need a hug.  I love you Mommy." by the 11 year old.  Today.  After a complete and utter meltdown.  I needed one too.


  1. I love these phrases! I especially love the last one, it makes my heart bright, and makes me happy to know that when my 4 year old turns 11, he'll still want Mommy hugs :-)

  2. Bethany - my 11 year old is a big old teddy bear. He has to start out every day with a hug and will come into the kitchen saying "I haven't had my morning hug yet Mommy!" I know the day will come soon enough that he won't want to be on the same block as me, so I'm enjoying it all while I can. Even if I have to endure the meltdowns.

  3. Far be it from your Mother to remind you but if I wrote down even half the things you said or did while I let you grow up they would have been X-rated. The comments are truly from miniature Laurens...Love U all..Marcia...Mom...Gramma

  4. At least they picked up some of that stuff from the TV. My daughter, when asked by the dental hygienist what she wanted to be when she grew up, replied, "a pop star!" The hygeniest said, "you mean like Miley Cyrus?" Grace said, "Oh no, my mom says Miley has turned into a real skank." Ouch.

  5. Kate - I have tears in my eyes over that one! It is amazing what kids pick up from us when we think they're not listening!

  6. Kids say the funniest things! We've had to monitor their TV watching too. In mexico it was common to have a girl dressed in next to nothing, dancing around on a commerical during a kids show.

    Has your 11 year old started in on the mood swings? Mine has and it's been so interesting and frustrating all at the same time.

  7. Bryn! OMG I thought I just had to endure my 10 year old daughter and puberty, but the 11 year old boy has started. What is funny (for me) is he will meltdown and when I ask him what's going on, he'll cry more and say I don't know!

  8. What a great post! I included it this week's State Dept. Blog Round Up: