Friday, January 3, 2014

Prince Charming? Nah. I Like the Whimsical Eccentric. (My Thoughts on Marriage)

What is it with girls preferring charismatic, good-looking guys who enjoy silly human activities like sports? As far as I know, they’re entrenched in a world of social rules, reputations, and competition.
I'm just not into that.

My mother had always told me that I deserve the best, that I ought to marry a capable man with little to no psychological disabilities who can provide for me, preferably a handsome one too… and though I've always made a point not to get into a relationship with anyone who has a disorder, I've learned that it simply doesn't work that way for me.

If I were to get married (which currently seems necessary from a survival standpoint), I want someone who knows what it’s like to live in the shadow of society, an alien amongst humans, yet confident in himself and able to adapt. If this person has interesting quirks of his own, surely he’d be able to understand me and my strange ways.
But so far, I've figured out that most people with these features happen to have a disability of some sort.

Honestly, I don’t care anymore whether the man I marry has psychological abnormalities or not. I've got issues, and pretty much everyone I know has issues, regardless of their neurological status. Of course, I want someone who can take care of themselves as well as me, but I find myself more attracted to those with aspie traits because I can understand them better.

NT's are complicated, with their social expectations, subtle forms of communication, and occasionally, hidden motives. I dislike being unaware of what people are thinking, so I find it frustrating when people aren't being honest with me.

Aspies on the other hand are more simple to me; most are up front about their intentions, which I appreciate. Of course, there are a few downsides, such as miscommunication and having to explain things in a way that they understand. I'm hoping to find someone more on my level of functioning so I won't have too much of that problem. In any case, I will never tire of a unique and quirky personality if I like the person enough.

And if my future husband is pretty to look at, it’s a bonus.


  1. I would like to get to know you better

  2. There's no perfect person out there, just the perfect person for you :)
    I am Autistic and my husband has ADHD. We only got our diagnoses as adults, well into our marriage. We've been together 13 years and married for 11. I pick up the slack that are his weaknesses and he picks up mine. I love making lists - he is disorganized. As long as he has my list, he can accomplish anything. He is my protection from the outside world and translator of communication with NTs. Together we've learned a lot and made each other better people.

    Rather than looking for someone without any issues, look to see what they have going for them, NT or not. Someone who is smart, who makes you laugh, who cares and is your soft place to fall when the world becomes too much. Marry the person you know you could go anywhere in the world with and still be happy.

    1. Aww, that's sweet... :) and that's what I'm going for. I would like someone who can make up for my flaws, and I for his. Doesn't matter whether they have Asperger's or not; in fact, I tend to find myself more attracted to other aspies anyway. :P