January 26, 2009

I'll be waiting, with a gun and a pack of sandwiches

I read the New York Times for the first time and a very long while last night, at my grandparents' home in Queens. There was an article in the style section about how retail associates spend their shifts trying to look busy so as not to get sacked. This was very relevant to my life.

Reid chose to spend his, telling me the story of how he and his boyfriend came to be in relationship. Basically he was a homewrecker. This further confirmed my vehement policy against cohabitation. If you have a "home" it can and quite possibly will be wrecked. Sometimes by a sweet-faced dimpled blond Midwestern boy.

I remember having a very strange dream last night and I don't remember much but that took place in my old high school and I had just murdered someone I know and was very embarrassed about it. Because apparently that is a very impolite thing to do. I didn't want people thinking less of me. That I was the type of person who engages in that sort of activity.

I dragged myself out of bed and somehow made it to the bathroom (I never quite remember moving in the morning). I stared at myself brushing my teeth wondering if I really had it in me. I turned on the shower. I stepped in the shower. I forgot about it.

10 hours later, I'm at home and on the news there's something about a 16 year old girl who got sodomized at gunpoint right after getting off the L near Canarsie. The news reporters were on location at the subway stop where the girl was abducted by gunpoint and lead to an apartment. The reporter used professional projection and looked very confidently into the camera. He used words like "terrible crime" and "suspect still on the streets." He had on ear muffs. He solicited a comment from one citizen who said "of course that's very scary to think about, I take this subway every day. I guess I'll be more careful at night."

I kind of wondered if he would've really shot her if she resisted. I wonder if the gun was even loaded. You only have to call that bluff once and the whole thing turns around. Which is why I don't think it's wise to ever pull a gun on anyone unless you are really willing to shoot it. I also think most people who feel that they need to wave firearms around in strangers' faces speak loudly and carry small sticks.

I thought about it some more. I went into another room. I decided I didn't have the stomach for it.

1 comment:

random acts of life said...

man now i know that i'm not the only on having funky dreams semilife related in a twisted 3rdsource kinda way.