Weathering Relationship Seasons

In any longterm relationship, just as in nature, there are seasons. When first I met my husband, it felt like an eternal summer...things were warm and carefree. As our love grew, we changed and so did our love. These changes, just like a seasonal change, can make us want to buck. But as change is the only constant, you begin to get used to it.

Even getting used to it, though, doesn't always make it easy. Lately, I have to admit, I find myself longing for those days when we were carefree and things didn't seem so serious. No matter how much I long for them, though, they are gone, replaced by a more serious and adult world and there is no choice but to get on board. One thing I happen to like about the change is that our love changes and grows deeper... the roots we shared are more entwined.

So how do you weather it when you find yourself in a new season, or on the brink of change? Here are some tips:

Stay upbeat and positive
Embracing change can make it easier. Listen to positive music when you wake up, make a list of the things you are grateful for, and tell the people who are important to you that you love them. These simple things give you a more positive outlook on life and make changes easier. When you face the world with a positive attitude, things seem brighter.

Check in with your partner & let them in on your secrets 
I once read this quote: "People change and forget to tell one another." As you change you need to let your partner know because, while they love you, they aren't a mind reader. The more they know, the better they can navigate with you. So keep your partner informed whether you are changing your political party or just cutting out red meat.

Make time for love
And I am not just talking about sex, though certainly, it can lead to that. The more comfortable I get in my relationship, the more I find I sometimes forget the little things that make love really soar between us, and I need to take a beat and get back to basics. Love notes. KISSING. Sitting on the couch next to my husband instead of in my chair--these little things make a difference and are great expressions of love, especially in times of flux.

When I am going through change, especially tough change, I don't always take time out for fun. When I do, it helps to put things into perspective. See a movie, cook together, take the dogs on a walk--as long as it's fun, consider it DONE! Remembering how to have fun with one another should really do the trick when you are having a tough go of it.

I also want to hear from YOU. How do you weather the seasons of your relationship? What techniques work for you?? 

1 comment:

  1. My husband and I met back in high school, and we'll be celebrating 6 years next month. They've been some really rough years, mainly financially. We often say that the only thing we have is what we'll always have- hope. We even chose that as our daughter's name- Hope Elizabeth.

    When times are tough, and we're struggling, we like to do as we used to back in high school- we write eachother little notes. Sometimes it's just a simple reminder of how much we love eachother. Sometimes it's a naughty note to keep the flames burning. But regardless of what they contain, they keep us united, and they're wonderful to boost us when we're feeling down- we just go back and reread them, and it inspires us to write more. It's the little things that keep love alive.