10 celebrities who don't deserve a Christmas present

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The Grinch stops here.

'Tis the season for good will toward men, and all that, but we're drawing the line at certain celebrities for Christmas. Bah, humbug! to them.

It's not just Santa who knows who's been naughty and who's been nice: Thanks to the internet, the paparazzi, the ubiquitous selfie and your sucking black hole of attention-seeking neediness, everybody on earth now knows you've spent the year being a total knob toward your fellow humans.

That's why you've made this top ten list for a stocking full of coal, friend:

1) Bill Cosby

This probably needs no explanation. To be 'Cosbied' may enter the lexicon when people search for that one word that sums up power imbalance, entitlement and alleged predatory behaviour and Jekyll and Hyde monstrosity. 

2) Camille Cosby

There's denial, and then there's Bill Cosby's wife asking, "The question should be asked — who is the victim?"

Well, you might be, ma'am. For starters.

3)  Scott Rudin, film producer

Here is the man Spy magazine called "Hollywood's biggest a--hole" way back in 1996. The inflammatory e-mail exchanges trashing Angelina Jolie and mocking President Obama between Rudin and Amy Pascal of Sony were revealed during the hacking crisis; she may lose her job over this, but he'll survive. 

As cockroaches do.  

4) Phil Robertson, Duck Dynasty.

Nice Easter sermon this year, Phil, comparing homosexuals to thieves, drunks, swindlers and adulterers. Your anti-gay and racist comments can only help keep your beloved America boiling over with hate and violence.

5) Sean P. Diddy Puffster Combs.

Canadians stand for non-violence. Nobody hits Drake, friend. Nobody.

6) Mama June.

Reality television continues to offer a tidal wave of the worst America has to offer. Mame June's registered sex offender boyfriend is really just more of the same, only more so. There goes Honey Boo Boo.

7) Any Kardashian

Your choice: For their continuing contributions to the objectification of women and the stupidification of all people.

8) Ray Rice, girl beater.

As you sow, pal, so shall you reap. Kapow! 

And we hope soon.

9) Sean Penn, Chris Brown, Charlie Sheen, Kanye West, Alec Baldwin, etc.

All you angry guys: get help and stop.

10) Katy Perry, non-feminist.

Perry is one of several female celebrities who seems confused about the meaning of the word 'feminist'. The notion of equality seems too big for some to grasp. Said Perry, "I'm not a feminist, but I do believe in the strength of women."

Snap out of it, princess, or you'll be using all that strength to earn half a man's salary. While washing his socks.

And by the way, if you are wondering where Justin Bieber is on this list, don't worry. We'll have a special prize for him before the year is over.

Email Liz



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