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Spying: What is it?


Sneaking peeks at others' text message or call history, breaking into a friend or bf/gfs's inbox, or even digitally stalking them.

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    1. Why would anyone need my password?

      They wouldn't. So don't give it to anyone. That way, when other people ask you, you can say, NO ONE has my password and be telling the truth. Plus, you can't control how others manage their info—your bf might be a vault with secrets but carry a list of passwords around in their wallet (which they lose constantly). You get the idea. If you feel the need to share your password with someone, try a parent or a trusted adult.

    2. What if I can prove my partner is cheating if I check his/her email/call/text history?

      News flash: if you have to hack his or her email to get at the truth, you're lying to yourself about the state of your relationship. If you can't talk through it and regain trust, walk away and be proud that you took control.

    3. My bf/gf/friend is mad at me for something I wrote in an email to someone else, that they read without my permission. S/he is pissed and thinks it was okay to read it because we're supposed to share everything, and I'm pissed because I think s/he had no right to read it. Who's right?
      1. Me
      2. Him/her
      3. No one.

      The right answer here is... a. You're right. No one should read other people's emails (or texts, or IMs) without their permission. But—you knew there was a but, right?—the real issue here is why your bf/gf/friend doesn't trust you. Were the things you were saying mean or hurtful? Did you betray their trust by gossiping about them or sharing private information? Or does s/he have a jealousy issue? If someone you're close to doesn't trust you—and you haven't given them a good reason for it—talk it out. If the spying goes on, consider a change in relationship status—or a lock-box for your laptop and phone.

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    • You find out you were wrong about the cheating—but your partner breaks up with you when they find out you read his or her email.
    • You find out you were right about the cheating—but your partner reports your hacking and you get booted off Facebook and MySpace. So long, social networks!
    • Your friend finds out you've been sharing his/her secrets with a half-dozen other people, and convinces everyone to de-friend you by posting the harsh details of your betrayal.
    • You get arrested for fraud (yes, it's possible)
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    • Share not. Need we say it again? Keep. Passwords. Private.
    • Choose wisely. Your birthday, your name, your pet's name = bad passwords. Pick unusual words, mix letters and numbers, lowercase and upper, and change frequently.
    • Ask the right questions. If you're wondering if your special someone's telling the whole truth...ask. If you don't buy their line...ask yourself whether it's worth sticking around to find out.

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