Monday, December 30, 2013

Police Lure Naked Suicidal Man Off Ledge With a Sandwich


 So this happened:


And I was thinking, couldn't you make a kick-ass Hellmann's  commercial out of this? Guy's on the ledge, wild eyed, ranting, naked, erratically pacing. (does Christopher Lloyd do nudity?) The police sergeant turns to the rookie cop (Tracy Morgan?) and gives him the task: Turkey Sandwich, stat, and make sure it's made with Hellmann's mayonnaise... 

I'm of two minds about the ending: either the jumper dismisses the sandwich until he sniffs the air and says, "Wait a minute... is that Hellmann's?" and turns toward safety, or, the crazed man takes a bite of a non-Hellmann's creation, spits it out, and, closeup on open-mouthed Tracy Morgan as you hear, "I wanted Hellmaaaaaaaaaaaaann'sss."

You don't have to pay me cash, Unilever, just buy something from my Amazon links.


OregonGuy said...