5 ghost stories as told by your platoon sergeant

The platoon sergeant will turn you into a ghost story if you don't learn from these totally true tales of military horror.

Bonfires in the military are rare — and almost no one tells ghost stories over them. But if you ever do find yourself on the receiving end of such tales, you'll notice that, just like many ghost stories, they're filled with all sorts of morality lessons — it's just that the military's morality lessons are a little different than everyone else's. And when the platoon sergeant tells them, they're always pretty bloody and seem to be directed at one soldier in particular.

1. The AG who flagged the commander. Twice.  

He was such a promising soldier before the incident... Before the curse...

(U.S. Army Staff Sgt. David Meyer)



The AG took his smoking like a man, but he didn't know the real punishment would come that night. He awoke to sharp pains throughout his abdomen and looked down to find three 5.56mm holes in his stomach. Now, he's normal and fine during the day, but at night, he wanders as the ghost of live-fire exercises past. Eternally.

2. The specialist who dimed out the platoon sergeant




The rest of the platoon didn't take it kindly, saying that Snuffy should've let the platoon sergeant handle it internally. So when Snuffy first started hearing the whispers in the barracks, he assumed it was just the platoon talking about him. But then he heard the whispers in the latrine. And on patrol. And while cleaning his weapon in a closed barracks room.




(U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Michael Selvage)

Corporal John was smart and talented, but also prideful and mouthy. He led a brilliant flanking movement during an exercise, keeping he and his men low and well-hidden in an unmapped gully until they were right on top of the OPFOR's automatic weapons. But then he made a mistake, allowing his team to get bunched up right as a grenade simulator was thrown his way.

First sergeant took him to task for the mistake, and John pointed out that most other team leaders wouldn't have seen or used the gully as effectively. He did push-ups for hours, yelling "You can't smoke a rock, first sergeant!" the whole time. But first sergeant could smoke rocks.



4. The private who fell asleep in the guard tower

Keep. Your. Eyes. Open.

(Photo by Senior Airman Gina Reyes)

He was just like one of you. Barely studying his skill book. Rarely practicing for the board. But that's you expect from privates — just a good reason for their leadership to encourage them. But then, he was up in the guard tower during the unit's JRTC rotation. He had stayed up playing video games the whole night before his shift and, by the time the sun was going back down, he was completely wiped.


Despite the threat to him and his buddies, he dropped into the lands of dreams. He was found the next morning with his eyes bulging from his head and thick, finger-shaped bruises on his throat. It's a tragic reminder to keep your stupid, tiny little eyes wide open.

5. The King of Negligent Discharges

Not sure how he got so many negligent discharges with an empty magazine, but just go with it. It's hard to find photos to illustrate ghost stories.

(U.S. Marine Corps Pfc. Terry Wong)

It's said that he whimpers as he walks. He was once like one of you, a strong, upstanding killer. But then we were doing "Ready, up!" drills and this moron kept pulling the trigger while he was still raising his weapon. Somehow, no amount of yelling got him to stop doing it. The impact points of his rounds kept creeping closer and closer to his feet until his platoon sergeant finally grabbed him and threw him, physically, off the range.


Somehow, even with the rubber duck, he had negligent discharges, sharp squeaks that would split the air on patrol. But one day it wasn't a squeak — it was the sharp crack of a rifle instead. He had shot himself in the foot with a rubber duck, a seemingly impossible feat.
