posted on July 25, 2007 at 1:20 am

the devil
what does that mean
that his number was 666?
which number?
or is this some complicated bit of cabbala
tossed into revelations for the cognoscenti?
how could olde jehovah let that dude run riot like that?
why not stamp him out bang! like that
im sorry
but when i look at this earth
and its colours and its processes
and its marvels
the biblical stuff just seems……..pathetic
it seems like it was written a long time ago
by some seriously judgemental old israelites
with long beards and a big axe to grind
oh theres some beautiful parts too
and some ludicrous parts indeed
can you imagine a god capable of creating
the forests
the snow
the lakes
the oceans
is gonna help one lil tribe against another
and say things like
i am a jealous god
gee thats sounds like a human talking …
or whoever it was
running round with a bag of a thousand enemy foreskins
oh yeah thats what god wants
of course
and bears savaging the youths
for laughing at elijahs bald head
fuck him if he cant take a joke!
and the devil
oooh im real scared
hes trying to collect our souls
what for?
why would he give a toss?
and we all know how its gonna end
dont we?
it says so in the bible
gods gonna whoop satans ass, right?
well maybe satan dont believe the bible
after all predictions can be wrong, right?
god its all so utterly ludicrous
and so humancentric
all this
so these 2 cats can play a game
collecting our souls
and all the beasts n deserts n jungles n meadows
are all just scenery for the game
like in a train set
and us…
we’re like the shuttlecocks
naughty lil satan tryin to getcha with the badde stuff
self righteous boring olde gee-hovah judging you
yeah sure
yeah sure thats how it is
thats how this she-bang works
all for humans benefit
like if im jehovah
and i can dream up universes
as if im gonna be so hung up
on what a bunch of turkeys do or dont do
down here
or lucifer
ok he broke free
jehovah gave him free will
and he exercised it
sorry j-man
i dont dig yer rules n regulations
me n a bunch of the other groovy angels are splitting
so we can goof off angel fashion
jehovah says get outta here lu
dont ever darken my doorstep again!
lucifer says
we were already leavin’ !
and this incenses jehovah
and the angels with god
and the angels with lucifer
begin pushing each other about
and soon you got a war in heaven

now i cant believe that olde jehovah
who after all
made all those angels
i cant believe he just dont wade in
and end it
i mean
if he aint the decider
i dunno who is
yet although he wins
there seems to be a bit of a struggle
and what about those other angels that backed the wrong side
they must feel silly sitting in hell
when they coulda had heaven
anyway jehovahs actual lack of omnipotence
i mean everythings always going wrong for him aint it?
adam eating apples
whispering serpents
cain kills his little bro
the tower of babel
david goes bad
then king solly even
its just one thing after another
loads of misogynistic twaddle and unlikely carryings on
quite frankly the “good” guys come off as a bunch
of imperialistic marauding butchering villains
just ask the fucking canaanites
and the big J
he floods the world
he nukes sodom n gomorra
but lets las vegas go….
he just aint coming off as omnipotent to me
nor particularly kind or even “good”
why should one bunch be his “chosen people”
allowed to do whatever they liked to the “enemies”
eg the ones whose land they were invading
justifying the whole thing
with a little rationale that it was ok
cos their god said it was
and whats all this gotta do with me?
why was i raised in a society
where people waved this silly superstitious
n largely tedious book around
saying it was the “good’ book
good for who?
not the canaanites or the cats in jericho
or a bunch of others supposedly massacred in it
im sorry i just aint identifying with the israelites here
i mean their fight aint my fight
and their tent god aint my god
and then a problem enters the bible
into this hodgepodge of law and war and downright plagiarism…
come on christians
the flood and garden of eden are in gilgamesh
thousand years earlier
dont it make ya wonder?
anyway into this largely silly and (to me) irrelevant book
comes something worthwhile
well thats not strictly true either
they started a second book for this guy
the old n new testas are only joined cos some cat said to do it
anyway a new book
a new leaf turned over
and heres a guy spouting some beautiful stuff
no more rape n pillage
no more take his donkey and kick his ass
no more trumpets blowing down walls
wait for it..
hey people
try being nice…
there ya go
revolutionary stuff
after all that slaughter n struggle n destruction
we have this enigmatic cat
and hes not that different to buddha really
and who knows if he ever heard buddhas teachings
the gist is the same
dont persecute others
get yer own trip together
people look after each other
live yer lives wisely
love everybody as much as ya can
forgive everybody as much as ya can
boy its pretty simple really
its the way these guys put things
they invented these little sutras n parables
so you could understand
where they were coming from
i dig jesus n his ideas
whoever he was
whoever said that stuff
it didnt say itself….
he was a genius of love
a soothing healing charismatic breath of fresh air
the rest of it
the devil
the rules n regs
the justification for invasion n atrocities
dont interest me
666 ooohhh
how scary!!!

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