epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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The Handmaid’s Tale 1x09 + Gotham 3x16 + Salem 2x07-2x10 Reviewed

The Bridge
Janine leaves her posting in blissfully absurd fashion. She’s now Ofdaniel and has constant simmering anxiety. The wives have a lack of appreciation for their Handmaids. Serena Joy and Angela’s ‘mother’ go for a walk accompanied by a Guardian. There is no moral clarity. Offred signals her unease and is given a mission and so she has to play on the Commander’s lax morals. He is human trash.

This was banal and dispiriting and bog standard awful. Nick stares derisively. Serena Joy and her Martha bond. There is no deeper purpose to Gilead. The Martha has bitter regret. Ofdaniel has personal dissolution. The Commander is overly coercive and non affable. Moira shows up again. Offred must be without complaint. Nick and his Martha hang out. They knew each other before Gilead? How did Ofdaniel go on the run? Ofdaniel exposes her ex-Commander’s lies. Then she jumps off a bridge and lives. Her ex-Commander is arrested. Wives bitch at each other. Moira escapes.

Best Lines:
“Go to them and be blessed.”

“Is this your blessed child?”

“Do what they say.”

“Her name is Charlotte!”

“Change is coming.”

“Let’s pray that you won’t bear any of the consequences.”

These Delicate And Dark Obsessions
The Court Of Owls plan to cleanse Gotham. They wear silly masks and wave feathers. They look ridiculous. Bruce is locked up. This had no unsettling elements. Ivy diligently annoys. Penguin is wilful and aghast. Lee snots. Bruce yaps. Jim and his creepy uncle have words. There is presumptuousness. None of this makes any sense. Barbara is a crime boss. There is no progression of morality. Bruce is a joke. Barbara and her postage stamp sized outfit is ludicrous. This was ill-advised. A dude with a sword menaces.

Best Lines:
“Gotham must fall.”

“Smells like rotting death.”

“Drinking pine-cone juice.”

“A loyal moron.”

“A career scumbag.”

“I make no apologies for it.”

“Freak factory.”

The Beckoning Fair One
Zombie Increase Mather is back due to Mary’s poor moral choices. Stephen Lang can act, unlike most of the cast. There is declining moral behaviour but no moral angst. John Alden is locked up by Tituba. There is frequent brooding and no moral sanity. Lucy Lawless engages in cumulative absurdity. Mary has a total indifference to sense. The Countess’ son can’t act. The doctor is reverently awful. Mercy prances and is highly adversarial. There is no taut efficiency. Mercy lures a child labourer. Cotton proposes. There is cannibalism and Mary’s son is satan. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Snatched from the burning sh-t pits of hell to serve me.”

“I should punish you horribly for lying to me.”

Dead Birds
Cotton is unglued at the sight of his zombie dad. The secret of the countess’ immortality is revealed. There is a ‘Black Sabbath’ shoutout. There is a toxic culture in Salem. Mary has consistence, insistence and persistence in being awful. Anne’s power grows. The Countess’ son annoys. The doctor is a sexist burk. John is the Sansa Stark of this show as he is still imprisoned by Tituba.

The doctor and Cotton ascertain what witchpox is for. Tituba wants to do down Mary. Increase is deeply critical of his loser son. Cotton is abjectly stupid, which is a deeply rooted pattern of behaviour. Cotton cannot desist from being a tool. Mary’s creepy son creeps and can’t act. Mercy bothers the creepy son. The doctor is onto Mary. There is humping and a mention of Hailey. This was okay if badly lit.

Best Line:
“Whore! Whore! Whore! Whore!”

Wages Of Sin
The doctor falls for Mary’s false narrative and feigned aloofness. Mary is vile in a purposeful way. Is no-one in Salem observant of what is going on in the crags? Mary has chronic backstabbing disorder. Mary’s son is to be satan‘s vessel. Selling him to satan is what gave her power and money.

Cotton is purposeless. Where is Isaac? Mary is unimpressed by the Countess. The Countess’ son talks too much. Mary betrays and lies. Cotton has an utter lack of insight. The poor dumb doctor has none either and ends up in hell. So what did Stuart Townsend do to get fired this time? Tituba and Mary brawl. There is a reunion and a revelation for John. Mary seems to regret her dark bargain. Hathorne sneers. This was okay. WTF is Anne’s curse? The comet arrives via a naff VFX. WTF happened to Anne? Tituba is tied up.

Best Lines:
“Choke on my wrath!”

“When the starry messenger returns, it will be I who completes the Grand Rite.”

“If pigs could read, this is how they’d live.”

“Known for his drunken rages.”

“Truest malice.”
Tags: gotham, handmaids tale, salem

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