Sadly, on the news today we are told that knife crimes against teenagers in London have doubled since last year!

And of course our Metropolitan police force will tell us it's all down to the cuts.

Well cobblers!! At my ripe old age, I can remember that even when we had another 20,000 cops we saw even less of them than we see today!

Firstly they closed all of the local police stations. Then they took themselves off the motorways and substituted 'Traffic Officers' - who are actually less worthwhile than an AA patrol officer. Then they took themselves off the streets and substituted Curly Watts lookalikes.

So what do they actually do? Nobody knows. What we do know is that on the rare occasion that you do see one on foot, he's invariably obese. Then we also know that they pay themselves way too much. We are told, for example, that the bobbies wandering around the perimeters of parliament have arranged their rosters so that they can earn over a £100k per year! And obviously their pensions will be far better than mine.

I have worked and lived in North London for the last eleven years - in Tottenham for ten years and now in Leytonstone. I can tell you that the rate of deterioration of the quality of life in these areas is logarithmic. For example, within five hundred yards of Spurs football ground you will find Turkish and West Indian gangs selling drugs - openly on the streets in broad daylight. Even in Leytonstone, walking down the High Road and passing many of it's pedestrians its impossible to miss the stink of 'weed'. The pavements are full of litter and worse still... 'gob', and it's disgusting. And what are we doing - absolutely nothing, other than spouting politically correct, largely socialist rubbish.

A couple of years ago I bumped into two actual policemen wondering down White Hart Lane. I pointed to a group of youths that were selling drugs on the High Road and told the officers what they were up to. One of them matter of factly replied "We know". So I asked what they would do about it. He said "Nothing" and added that there was absolutely no point in doing anything. He said that if they arrested them and took them to the police station that they'd be back on the streets doing the same thing within a few hours. So they just accept it. Amazing.

I then told him that there was another group of youths who were 'bating' their own dog, a pit bull. (I mean that they were driving it nuts). The copper said "What do you want me to do about it?" with a confused look. I took his number and advised him that the thugs were hanging around a block of flats where there were loads of young children and that I would hold him responsible if anyone was bitten by the very angry dog. Only then did they do something.

If you are over fifty, then you may remember seeing a policeman on nearly every street. And he knew your name and even where you lived. That's how to keep crime down. Back then, not many people had a wrist watch, but if you wanted to know the time you just asked a policeman. If you see one on foot nowadays you might just as well ask him what year it is...

But now they have a new excuse - "We are fighting cyber crime". Well now, I can tell you from first hand experience that the police have an absolutely zero handle on this one too. I wasted a lot of time reporting Russian cyber crime to them. Gave them actual evidence. They did absolutely nothing. It even took them six months to write to me telling me they'd done nothing.

In a nutshell, this country needs a wakeup call. If I had my way, I'd disband the entire police force and replace it with a few thousand retired Gurkhas. In no time at all street crime would vanish. I spent a little while with the Gurkhas during the 60's Indonesian uprising in Borneo and I do know how amazingly dedicated to their duty that these guys are. Oh, and scary too, especially for the bad guys.

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