Secrets of the Smile

Secrets of the Smile

I see the pain of everyone, and
I smile at them if their knife is not at my throat

She is glad to have a casual weather worn conversation, but
if she knew how much I was dying inside, she

would run away because
we both are doomed and

she would not want to know
the truth of who I am and
what pain we have in common.

So now I am very old.
To try harder is not possible.
To hope is silly.

All I need is a pile of Gold
and an abode

Maybe much less
would be my ecstasy:

an unending slow motion conversation
with a patient soul who is
quite as silly as I, and
will laugh at my utterly subtle
slow motion joke that is me.