How to Fall in Love With Your Spouse Again

No married couple plans to fall out of love with each other, but sometimes life just gets in the way. Working long hours, paying bills, raising children and dealing with aging parents are just a few of the things that can put your relationship on the back burner. The "together time" that you once treasured is now spent on discussions about finances and schedules. The good news is that it doesn't have to be this way. You can rediscover and nurture the romantic love you once shared. These simple tips will help.

Enjoy Physical Contact

Sex is great, but if you're not in the mood for it, how about a snuggle or even a hug? Studies show that a 20 to 30 second embrace can increase the levels of oxytocin in your body. Oxytocin is a hormone that increases feelings of being bonded to each other. Other ways to increase physical contact in your marriage include starting each morning with a kiss, holding hands while watching television and taking showers together. Many couples also enjoy exchanging massages or back rubs.

Revisit Happy Memories

Sit down with your spouse at a time when you won't be interrupted and create a list of your 10 favorite memories as a couple. These can be large events like your wedding or just happy moments like watching a beautiful sunset together. Another way to remember happy times is to create a soundtrack of songs that have been special in your relationship. Looking at pictures of the two of you can also start the happy memories flowing.

Create New Experiences Together

Part of being in love is enjoying the time you spend together. Many couples set aside a regular date night when they go out and do something enjoyable like watch a movie, attend a concert or simply have a romantic dinner. Another terrific way to build new memories is to take a vacation, just the two of you. If a vacation isn't feasible, try a stay-cation. Take a few days off from work and spend the time exploring local places of interest.

Use Common Courtesy

When you interact with someone every day, it's easy to forget to use phrases like "please" and "thank you" when you speak to each other. Being polite, though, is a sign of respect and love. In addition to basic manners, try to give your spouse a sincere compliment at least once a day. Don't use unflattering jokes and nicknames when referring to your spouse. Just because you've been married a long time doesn't mean you can't continue to enjoy romance. With a little effort and imagination, you can fall in love with your spouse all over again.

Cite this page: N., Pam M.S., "How to Fall in Love With Your Spouse Again," in, January 25, 2016, (accessed January 21, 2020).