I don’t want to marry him

He isn’t the man I thought he was.

We have a beautiful newborn daughter but now I have grown to despise him.

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  • Marry him and then a quicky divorce will legitimize your child and give her a family name.

  • Nice going,hope that beautiful daughter grows up into your worst nightmare

  • Break the news to him now! Why wait and make things worse

  • Why wait any longer to tell him? If he’s not the guy quit wasting everyone’s time and be a woman about it.

  • Why? And why so suddenly?

  • Well tell him. My wife left me earlier this year after just over 20 years. I was feeling spaced out and depressed and we had a long chat. She said that she had had her doubts even before we got married. By 5 years she had decided it really was a mistake. By 15 years I was waking up that something was wrong. I felt so lonely. It was cold. No fun cuddles. no small talk. When I kissed her it felt weird. No passion. She didn't like kissing and certainly didn't like tongue kissing. Only functional organsing type conversations. I used to dread going home. As I drove home from work each day I would just start to feel tired and down. Over time she would latch onto some failing or other of mine. I supposedly criticised her or had Asperger's or failed to put stuff away and was too messy or disorganised or even that my tone of voice was angry or distant and that would go on for about 3-6 months and then she'd have a new failing to label me with.

    The weird thing was Wednesday night was s** night. After the kids were in bed and the kitchen clean then she would go into the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Take off her clothes and lie on her back. legs wide apart. Mouth open. hands by her side. I was then "allowed" to touch her wherever. Tongue kiss her. Touch and kiss her b****** and then get on top and f*** her. It was actually terrible. I hated it. She would insist. She'd tell me she was making this time for me. Giving her body to me. I would have gladly given up s** in exchange for love. Holding hands, intimacy.

    So if you don't like your man, do the right thing and tell him. Don't wait years

  • That's tough. Sounds as though she had reduced your marriage to nothing more than fulfilling a contractual obligation and was hoping you would leave or cheat on her, so she could blame you for the marriage failure and 'take you to the cleaners' financially. Looks like that strategy failed, but perhaps you should have left her and let her have the house / money. What price can you put on 20 years of life ? You can regain a home and earn money, but you can't get that 20 years back.

  • Glad you brought an innocent kid into the situation before "discovering" that. That won't complicate the situation at all.

  • I'm hear to talk

  • Yeah he takes you for granted now

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