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Funny one liners

It's been raining for 3 days without stopping. My wife is in depression, she is standing and looking through the window. If the rain doesn't stop tomorrow, I'll have to let her in.

tags: autumn, marriage, puns, rude, women
+1-181.01 % / 236 votes.


tags: attitude, food, life, puns
+1-181.01 % / 236 votes.

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work.

tags: age, life, work
+1-181.01 % / 748 votes.

A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff.

tags: animal, attitude, rude, sarcastic, work
+1-181.01 % / 314 votes.

Dating a single mother is like continuing from somebody else's saved game.

tags: kids, life, women
+1-181.01 % / 242 votes.

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

tags: kids, ugly
+1-181.00 % / 290 votes.

Doc says, "Joe, I got some bad news for you. You've got six months to live." Joe says, "Six months? Doc, I can't pay your bill in six months, I can't do it!" Doc says, "OK, I give you a year..."

tags: doctor, health, life, money, time
+1-181.00 % / 278 votes.

Are you a keyboard? Because you're my type!

tags: flirty, IT
+1-180.99 % / 361 votes.

If you were a triangle youd be acute one.

tags: attitude, intelligence, life
+1-180.99 % / 193 votes.

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness, is realising the other person was born an idiot.

tags: attitude, rude
+1-180.99 % / 495 votes.