My sticking point is……

May 2, 2012

There’s alot of guys out there who are hitting the streets on a regular basis, opening sets, running the model and…… not getting laid. Oh dear.

Daygame is not a hobby. If you’re approaching it with the same attitude you’d take to aircraft modelling, video games, stamp collecting or whatever then you are hamstringing yourself. I understand why people do it this way. It’s new, it’s exciting and you have approach anxiety so you have to make a game of it to reduce the ego strain. I get that. Fine. But at some point you have to move past it.

One of the biggest problems you have to work past in daygame is coming across as lightweight, as a pushover man. In bar game you can prop yourself up at a bar and laugh with all your friends, taking as much time as you wish to build vibe and draw IOIs. In street game you have to approach the girl out of nothing. It’s so easy to make the following mistakes:

  • Throw loads of fake positive energy at her, responding “awesome!” to every utterance to fall out of her mouth
  • Keep complimenting her past the original opening statement
  • Telegraph a lack of confidence in having killed her momentum through filling all the silences and imploring her with your eyes.

I often see guys running up and down Oxford Street like buzzing beta bees. A strong gust of wind would knock them off their feet. They are too excitable, too boyish, too lightweight. If you are one of these guys…. sort it out.


A common misconception in Game is that you’re not getting laid because you have a “sticking point” somewhere in your model. Your model is an end-to-end tactical plan in which you shuttle the girl from stage to stage. It’s all tactics and techniques. So if you are struggling to reach hook point you work on that. If you are getting flakey numbers you need an anti-flake technique. Your success is determined by what you do in set and thus if you just keep approaching, you’ll fix it.

No. No. No.

You aren’t getting laid because you aren’t man enough for the quality of girls you are approaching.

There will be sets where you are merely fucking up your in-set process and thus you can iron out the flaws but these are a tiny minority. Mostly your sets fail because either (i) the girl isn’t available (a high proportion of them) or (ii) she’s not into you. When a girl is available and into you the set will be extremely easy. She’ll cooperate with you to remove all the obstacles between your cock and her fanny. That’s why guys who are good with women seem so smooth and effortless.

High value women do not sleep with low value men.

It’s easy to forget this. Most of the guys you see bragging on internet forums about getting laid are not providing photos. If they did you’d be rather unimpressed. Many of the guys producing flashy moves in the street or in the bar do not actually bang the girls. Even the big names – they aren’t getting laid as much or as with as high quality as they’d like you to believe. Certainly the ones I’ve met aren’t.

Believing the hype encourages you to believe a central misdirection in Game that what you do in set is important.

Yes, competent execution of the model is important but it is nowhere near as important as being a high value man. My personal metaphor is of a sports car. Imagine you want to win Le Mans 24 Hour. So you take your car onto the racetrack several times a week and hone your driving skills. You spend your evenings on race simulators and make some trips to the Le Mans circuit to drive the real track and research the brake distances and racing lines. After a while you’ll be a great driver and know exactly how to drive the track in an optimal manner.

Then you show up one June weekend for the race. With your Ford Focus. And wonder what sticking point stopped you winning the race.

but amazing in-set....

There’s alot of pussy hounds on the streets relentlessly approaching girls. Some of them, especially the ones who “get it” and don’t act like overexcitable hobbyists, develop finely-honed skills and expert calibration. They get laid. But they don’t get laid as much as they could because they are still lightweight one-dimensional men. So every lay is a grind, a limp payoff for hours and hours of drudgework. Usually with the bottom end of the quality pool that they approached.

If you want to up your success, take a break from approaching. Figure out how to be more of a man.



    Recently I’ve been realising this as well. Whether I think I spat good game or not has a lot to do with the amount of cooperation I get from the other side and how much I actually ‘click’ with the girl inside the first few minutes.

    “Figure out how to be more of a man.” So be more sure of yourself, more interesting, less qualifying, not a dancing monkey – is this what you mean? [Everyone has a different answer depending on what man he wants to be. Here is mine: Count Cervantes. K.]

    • Can you break it down more? What specific aspects of your role model have you seen affecting your game? Can you say anything about what you noticed before/after you changed a particular aspect of yourself? [It’s too subtle, and I haven’t figured out a good conceptualisation to talk about it yet. Just try and absorb the vibe of the Cervantes blog to get a feel for my personal path. K.]

  2. Couldn’t have said it any better myself. Most guys actually know this already. It’s just that the tiny minority of guys overall who have drunk the PU cool aid are the vast majority of guys on PU forums.

    But people will always look for some kind of shortcut. Just look at the thousands of people who pay to go to “Get rich quick” conferences in America.

    It’s good that you are bothering to point out how silly this is.

  3. Goddamn right. Get centered, do what you want. Make no excuses.

  4. Goddamn right. She the girl, approach the girl, close the girl. Be Icey. Simple as that.

  5. Good post! keep them coming……..

  6. Good post k

    At a certain level of time of lack of results one needs to step back and look at something fundamentally going on.

  7. K, you nailed it. It is one of the things that I see just too often. Funnily, these guys don’t really get what they are doing wrong and the bottom line is that they only get more depressed as they take too much energy into the whole PU thing. The most important thing is to build up personality. To learn to be a man before learning to be a pussy chaser. Else you will always be the creepy one who “gets laid”, instead of “lays”.

    Thank you for the post.

  8. I think the problem is, there’s too much theory out there that turn guys into method junkies. They make a mistake – They try and break it down in the method to try and correct it later. But the biggest thing all of these guys seem to lack in understanding is the core fundamentals of what it means to be a man.

    You see the girl, you approach, you get her number, you close. It’s as simple as that.

    All these bullshit rules about staying in set and vibing with a girl for half an hour in order to prevent flakes are all meaningless. If you’re man enough for her, she will feel it within minutes and will want to see you again. It’s all down to your masculine vibe. No amount of staying in set bullshitting will ever compensate.

    I was with a friend in Leicester Square when i approached a 6ft tall Slovakian on her way to work. Didn’t get to speak to her for more than 5 minutes, but i still got her number and followed up with a text with a response a few hours later. Why did it work? I knew what i wanted, accepted no for an answer and got her number… She felt that dominance and masculinity and was left with no choice but to respond.

    You hit the nail on the head with this post. Every guy in the community needs to read it.

  9. How are you supposed to maintain your frame, or even meet any girls, when you are not actively sarging and approaching anymore? I imagine that in London or some select Eastern European countries you can just hit the streets and open good quality targets within half an hour, but in my experience that’s just not the reality in many other places even if they are fairly large European cities. At least not where I live. So when you are just going about your business and leading your own life, when you stumble upon an 8 once every two weeks, you either fuck up the opener or don’t approach at all, because due to lack of recent practice you don’t trust your approaching an attraction building skills enough.

    I imagine regular night game might be the solution but what if you can’t be bothered to dress up and go bar sarging many times a month anymore either… How is it supposed to work. I did a few months of both day and night sarging but now I’m not feeling like going that way again.

    [I recommend you take trips to the nearest city where it’s possible, and cram as much as you can into that time. This is assuming you’re just wanting practice. Over time, you have to figure out where the nice women hang out in your town. There’ll be less of them than in London but they will exist. High volume street game is designed for large anonymous cities but it’s not the only type of game there is. K]

  10. Your description on the average Oxford Street day gamer is spot on. Many of them come across like school boys rushing up and down the road high on state and acting very out of character and hyper in sets. They know all the rules and assumption stacks and techniques. The one fact they miss is that the type of girls they’re usually opening (often some of the hottest in London) are just never going to be seen walking down the street arm in arm with these guys. The girls are out of their league, but PUA rhetoric tries to dismiss the concept of a girl being out of a guys league. This is good in the short term to get guys approaching, but as you point out long term they have to become the kind of guy these girls want to date.

    The hard truth is that for most men that get into PUA getting confident enough to run a 5 minute street stop set on a hottie isn’t enough. They would need to instigate a deeper change that would leave no area of their life untouched. That’s a huge thing that would take years at a minimum. I’m starting on that now, and it’s a huge undertaking.

  11. Thanks for the tips. I will probably do this to try to keep in shape. And I hope to figure out one of their hiding places in my city one day. It’s getting frustrating not to be able to run any game just because now I’m trying to have higher standards (hope not too high) and also lead a more “normal” life as opposed to going out of my way to find targets.

  12. Speaking of anti-flake,there’s absolutely nothing a guy can do to eradicate flaking.We can limit it.BTW,that just happens to my my major sticking point.

    And with the caption under Mehow’s pic’,I know you weren’t calling Mehow a lightweight lol? [I was. K.]

  13. Agree with Kenny here – flakes are a part of life. Not just with “Game” either. Simply tag the toe, close the drawer and charge her to the game.

  14. Good. I hope the point sticks.

  15. We think there are three reasons for this: (1) Getting laid is surrounded by more lies than a fishing trip with your Uncle Charlie, (2) Most guys don’t understand that chicks take studying, just like the classes you attend everyday, and (3) there is not much reliable information available about approaching good-looking women.

  16. Pingback: What I Hope Guys Get Out Of This Blog « KennyPUA's Kiss & Tale Adventure!

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