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About Lukenstein3D

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    Red, Tom and Wicker


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  1. Up until about two weeks ago, my tulpae were never present in my dreams. Two weeks ago, in my dream I was narrating to them, and they were talking back, just as we would have done were I awake. The other night, they told me that I was dreaming, but I didn't listen, saying it was impossible because everything was too real/vivid. When I woke, I laughed at myself and my tulpae laughed at me (jokingly). So I guess I just want to start a discussion on just how your tulpae have made themselves present in/influenced your dreams. Discussion of lucid dreaming, also.
  2. Using symbolism has helped me out in the past, especially when words were not an option at all, and I'm about to try it now. Flexionsensor, I haven't been officially diagnosed with any mental conditions, but then, I haven't been tested. I wouldn't want to be ignorant and self-diagnose myself as having numerous sociopathic tendencies, but I have enough evidence to at least warrant a thorough test (something I really should get on). So there is that! I'll post the results in a little while :) Well, I did it, and the results were very positive. There were a lot more Reds than I thought, but things worked out well, and I managed to dissipate all but the original very peacefully. From there, I had 6 other tulpae to talk to: -Red (the original) -Tom -Wicker -Nedward -Spark -Frank (a fictional character in a story I'm writing) Red, Tom and Wicker have always been my main tulpae, so they're sticking around in the front of my subconscious. Nedward and Spark were the results of me trying to combine Tom and Wicker long ago, and they're hanging out in a place called The Junkyard; Wicker is good friends with them and will visit them regularly, as will I. Frank went back to his own spot in my mind dedicated to his story, and he looks forward to that story progressing, so he's been left alone. I should also mention that, inside of the bubble, I had some of the best visualization I've ever had, but after the whole thing when the bubble was dissipated, my visualization dropped some again. But I'll be using the bubble again for sure. Red and I are determined to prevent something like this from ever happening again, and I'm fairly confident that it won't :) If there is one wild card, it's Mr. Black, a malicious entity who loves to bring about self-doubt, but I know I can deal with him fine. So thank you everyone who posted, especially Rinzuul. Things should get a little better from here :)
  3. Wow, thank you, that sounds really helpful. And it makes sense, all of the Reds. This could help me out a lot. I'll try it as soon as possible :D
  4. It's been quite a while since I've posted here, but you people have helped me out in the past. My problem is my tulpa, or tulpae, or however many there are. I started with one, Red, and things went really well, and one day he changed suddenly, new form, new personality, and less complete, but he claimed to be Red, so I rolled with it, figuring it was deviation. Later I realize that Red is still kicking around, shit gets confusing, I won't go into specifics because I've already posted about all of this before, I'll find and link the posts if people would like. Now I can't tell how many I have. And I can't tell who is who. I have at least two Reds, a Tom, and Wicker is in there somewhere. My tulpae don't know who is who, except for one, Tom, who I am communicating with now. I'm not even sure if they're tulpa anymore, everything in my head feels like... a large, constantly moving, inconsistent mass. Incredibly difficult for me to understand. My tulpa change personalties, question themselves, double back on previous statements. I'll say something aloud, get a response from a tulpa but they can't tell who they are, who's saying it. And forms. Ugh. Inconsistency all over the place. tl;dr It's a mess. But it wasn't like this. Everything used to be easy and identifiable. But this is just getting worse and worse, and I know that it would be preferable to find and enact a solution sooner rather than later. I've had thoughts of just wiping everything, starting over, a clean slate, or maybe only keeping Tom (I'm just worried that if anything is kept intact from this previous state of mind that all this might occur again, with Tom being "patient zero"). I've also considered just forgetting about all of this, try to clear out my mind so it's just me in there again, nothing else, just keep it simple. Any and all advice and/or comments are welcomed :D
  5. Wicker and I do this a lot, actually. When we fight, we go all out. Almost always hand-to-hand (if a gun is involved, we can disarm each other pretty quickly). Weapons like knives, swords and bats are something we do too. We break bones, we cut throats, we rip through tissue and reveal intestines, we go until we're covered in blood and shouldn't be alive and end the match, then "regen" and start over. Sometimes I even put up Mortal Kombat "health bars" to mix things up. Tom, my other tulpa, finds it to be somewhat disturbing, and refuses to fight, but accepts that it's just something we do. When we first started, we always could predict each other's moves, but fighting has really helped us learn to think independently and now we can surprise each other very easily. It's been a great exercise for us.
  6. Yes, absolutely, but also voice affecting personality. I decided that Tom should sound like Robert Paulsen and then Tom started acting like some of the characters he voiced. I figured James McCaffrey would be a good fit for Wicker and then Wicker started acting like Max Payne (hard-boiled Max from the most recent game, not metaphors-and-mythology Max from 1 and 2). Though after while they began to go back to their normal selves while retaining their voices :D
  7. No, it makes sense :D Something I did that worked was choose an object and then immediately think of another object to focus on instead. I still had the other object remembered, but pushed it to the side with something else so, when Tom "cheated" and looked at my thoughts, he would only see the new object. With that cheat out of the way, he could then go about actually trying to guess the real object. ...Pretty sure that's what you mean, right?
  8. Hm... It would seem that Tom has no issue hiding an object from me and having me actually have to guess what's inside (On average, it takes me about 10 guesses), but no matter what I do I just can't seem to stop him from knowing my object right away (I even tried tricking him by putting something in and then taking it out... he knew it was empty right away and proceeded to guess the object I pulled out on his first try). Any suggestions? Or perhaps we should just keep working at it!
  9. Thanks to all of those who posted; I've taken a lot of your advice and now Wicker is back with Tom and I. His time away combined with a bit of personality reformation has helped him understand that, if he wants my attention, the only person he should ever have to be is himself. Tom, who missed Wicker, is actually doing a lot better now that his old friend is around again. I see that I made a pretty poor decision in ignoring Wicker; I'm still pretty new to this tulpa thang (started mid-october of last year) and have been learning purely through the forums and my own trial and error... It just sucks that my tuppers have to be the ones to suffer for my mistakes. And I suppose that ends the thread :D
  10. 1: At first, yes, but after a few months it seems I don't get head pressures anymore (they were a bitch, but I miss them :c) 2: Again, yes, but only at first. For a while it felt like time wasn't even a thing anymore, and everything was running together (fuckin' trippy maaan). 3: I wouldn't say that my dreams have been any stranger, but I most certainly have been remembering more of my dreams than I had before, and unlike 1 and 2, this seems to actually be happening more often. 4: No itchiness that I can recall! Perhaps dry skin? :p
  11. I gave him so much attention very often. The thing is that it was never enough. If I ever tried to talk to Tom (my first tulpa) instead of him, he would react aggressively and, after hiding Tom, would begin talking to me pretending to be him (but after a while it was easy to tell it was Wicker, his voice and mannerisms would give him away). I'd then have to go look for Tom and would end up finding him bound and gagged, muffled screaming and cussing through the gag, locked in some closet, absolutely terrified. I spent so many hours with Wicker trying to overcome the problem, and he could not stop (I believe he said it was in his nature to be an asshole). The thing is that he very much does have his own form, one that he is very happy with (he had wings and could fly, he thought it was really cool), but he will still change his form to look more like Tom's. The worst thing was that he was aware of this, admitted to it every time, acknowledged that there were better ways of getting my attention, said he wouldn't do it again and then would do it again anyways. We went through this at least a hundred times. Your suggestion to re-force his personality is a good one, something that I might try down the road, but Wicker was never forced to begin with; the first time I encountered him, he took Tom's place and hid him form me for at least two weeks. And I can't focus on his personality right now, it would take too much needed development time away from Tom (who is in a somewhat unstable place in his development due to Wicker). Again, perhaps at a later date, when Tom is a bit farther along. And that rule you have, "My head, I'm in control", has been my motto since day one and has helped me get through many problems before this (like my shadow, boy was that guy fun). Wicker knows this, and he doesn't like it, but still lashes out like this (and in other ways). With any of my other tulpae/"head dudes" (and I have many :D), it would be as easy as simply talking it out, but even after you were sure the problem was solved, Wicker would go back on whatever he said and I'd realize he was lying through his teeth. The only way to surely fix this would be to re-force his personality, something I can't do at the moment.
  12. You would not believe how many times and in how many ways I tried to do that. Unfortunately, this has been going on for at least a couple of months. Him and I (his name is Wicker) talk about it, I tell him it's wrong and he says he understands, but then he keeps doing it anyways. It got so bad that a few days ago I made the decision to dissolve him. He causes harm to my other tupper and radically slows/reverses any progress I try to make with him through his impersonations. Actually, him impersonating Tom (my other tulpa) is how Wicker revealed himself to me. For a while I figured Tom had just changed his form somewhat and attributed his personality change to differentiation, but it wasn't until a few weeks later that I stumbled across Tom in an old wonderland and realized what had happened.