Every now and then, someone will call into the newsroom with a breathless claim about seeing a bobcat, a wolf or Bigfoot, and it turns out to be big, surly feral cats or mangy, wandering dogs.

In some communities (looking at you, North Canton residents), officials are at their wit's end trying to convince residents that pita bread and Little Debbie Snack Cakes are not conducive to the diets of deer or Canada geese.

As a result, you barely can walk through a park now without being accosted by a gaggle clamoring for Mountain Dew and Freedom Fries.

But now comes the news, real news, that we have to be on the lookout for ... bears?


The Ohio Division of Wildlife recently issued a warning for Northeast Ohio that young, male black bears are on the prowl and that they are good at rifling through trash cans, unlocked sheds and even vehicles; anywhere they think they can score a free meal.

No rugs or coats

Forget about "Goldilocks and the Three Bears." Apparently, real mama bears are big believers in kids leaving the den as soon as possible.

It isn't enough that summer won't show up. We've had so much rain that, a day ago, I swear I saw a chipmunk scampering across the driveway wearing a snorkel.

Rabbits are backstroking, and birds are rocking water wings.

The only creatures who seem unaffected by the rain are squirrels, whom as we all know, are completely irresponsible and take nothing seriously.

But now, we also have to watch out for bears?

Because black bears are an endangered species, they're protected by Ohio law from being turned into a throw rug or a coat.

Some species of bear grow to be 7 feet tall, and although they can weigh hundreds of pounds, they can run down a grown man and lop off his head with one swipe like it's a champagne cork. They're the ones in danger?

Bears in the 'hood

Experts say the bears are wandering over to Northeast Ohio from western Pennsylvania and West Virginia.

Why do I suspect the Pittsburgh Steelers might have something to do with it?

Bears can't read, so they don't know they're lumbering through someone's garden. The more we build and encroach upon their territory, the more the wild animals will show up. It's only a matter of when until a bear makes a guest appearance in a downtown parking garage on First Friday or on the back nine at Glenmoor.

Reality TV shows set in Alaska are popular because they showcase people who must live by their wits, dealing with obstacles we normally don't, such as 25-below weather, like we had in February, and four-legged behemoths wandering through their yards, like we apparently have now.

Who'd be crazy enough to live in such a place?

Who, indeed?

Our one saving grace: The summer that won't show up.

Let's hope these bears can swim.

Reach Charita at 330-580-8313.

On Twitter: @cgoshayREP