Jul 12, 2011

Esprit de l'escalier

Sometimes I wonder if calling myself Girl Clumsy has turned my life into something of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Yesterday, while working at Parliament House, I fell down this flight of stairs.

It was about 10 steps all up that I tumbled down, smashing headfirst into the wall at the foot of the staircase.

Now doctors were seen, and it would appear I'm mostly fine, nothing broken, just a bit banged up.

But of course, I REALLY should have thought about my first post-accident tweet a little more carefully.

I should have made the obvious joke about how my nickname is Girl Clumsy and what-do-you-know-I-just-fell-down-the-stairs-omg.

Because over half the responses I got included a variation on that very joke.

Now before you label me a nasty bitch - I was very grateful people took the time to respond to me, and pass on good wishes. It was very kind.

But it did mean scrolling through tweet after tweet reminding me of my own tragic maladroitness.

Because the thing is - this isn't even my first fall down stairs (although it is probably the most dramatic). I fell down the front stairs at a radio station I used to work for, ripping a large hole in my shin. And Christmas before last I tripped and fell about five stairs after an ImproMafia end-of-year party. I was so upset about looking like a complete numpty in front of my friends, that I charged off home for the after-party, wiping furious tears away from my eyes.

The practical realities of being a bumbling fool can get you down. But maybe that's all my own fault. Maybe I'm writing my destiny just a bit too definitively.

Maybe I need to call myself Girl Elegant. Girl Stability. Girl Agile. Girl In-Complete-Control-of-Her-Physicality. Girl NOT-A-Complete-F***ing-Disaster.

Because the way I'm going, it won't be long before I'll have to change my nickname to Girl Cripple. Or "Gripple", for short.


  1. Try again:


    Maybe "Girl who is still Clumsy but no longer talks about it"? Just think of the additional pageviews as you post an image of yourself at some event with a limb in a cast, and readers frantically search old posts trying to find out what happened and when.

  2. Hello GC, I also have given myself a self-deprecating moniker and now have to live with it (and possibly up to it as well).

    I saw the tweet and have to say I did not really appreciate the magnitude of the fall until you showed us the photo of the stairs. Holy crap. It's lucky you were physically able to tweet after that tumble.

  3. I had heard these were the stairs of DOOM and from the pictures I can see why. I'm surprised (and exceedingly glad) that you were not more injured!

    I do believe in self fulfilling prophecies though. I forced a friend to change her twitter handle last year when, after a series of mishaps she renamed herself 'failblimp2010'.

    And honestly, though you end up more damaged, I don't consider you any clumsier than I, with my creaky joints and barely exercised muscles! (I'm just always exceedingly lucky when I fall over. It's the extra padding!)

  4. Holy crap!! I thought you'd tripped down the last 2 or 3 stairs somewhere, not a whole staircase!
    How's your head?

  5. Remember what they say at sea...
    "One hand for the ship and the other for yourself"
    Hope the bruising isn't too bad
    The Ancient Man

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  7. Oddly enough the subconscious brain isn't good at negatives so if you called yourself 'Girl not-a-complete-Fing-disaster' you brain would only pick up on the disaster theme.

    The good news is that your also subconsciously telling yourself that you're a girl and that's probably why you still look so young and pretty :)

  8. I sincerely hope you are fine after that fall. The moniker is quite cute though. If you change it, the new one should be as charming.

  9. Shit, I glad your ok, I've been to ppl who have done what you did, and come off very unhealthy. You obviously are still young, rubber bones and bounced.. Take care.

  10. I hope you didn't dent or scratch the wall.

  11. I've fallen down those stairs as well... they are dangerous suckers and that carpet rips like sandpaper