Viley Vyrus at the VMAs

*please be sure to read the comments section and my updates...especially if you think i am being too harsh (because you are right!). while i wont erase or take back what i wrote, i will apologize and say that i wish i had shown more grace and used a gentler, more thoughtful approach to how i was feeling.*

i watched the VMA's for the first time in like 10 years last night (not counting the comeback that must not be named). only the rumor of an N'Sync reunion could impel me to intentionally land my TV on MTV and i did so at my own risk by watching live rather than tivo'ing it. (PS, that was big of justin to let his bros perform a bit with him but i was DYING at fast he had them sucked back down into their holes of obscurity).

i pretty much already thought/knew that miley cyrus had jumped the shark and was really leaning in to the whole, "i'm not a disney kid anymore" thing (or rather, "i aint no mickey youngin', yall *TONGUE*"). yet, i somehow managed to be utterly shocked and revolted by her performance nonetheless.

i facebooked my dismay:

Keight Dukes
miley cyrus just gave my brain an STD. beyond VILE! gimme britney and a python ANY DAY!

Keight Dukes Jessica  i would say to youtube it tomorrow, but it seriously made me stupider and disgusted and sad that this is what some kids are dying to be. if i had two free assassinations i might be using them on her and kanye. I JUST WANT TO SEE NSYNC!! but now i need to bleach my eyeballs and give myself an enema made of classiness to undo the damage.

i am not going to link to it on this blog (the url alone might give my domain digital herpes--not to be confused with digital getdown), but you can definitely find it easily if you want to see what i am referring to (gird up your loins, because she is going to try to touch them).

i have never seen so little clothing and so much tongue in my life. i had never seen a 20 year old use a foam finger to fondle a 36 year old married father (not that he was innocent or unwilling by any means). the amount of air-humping, violent twerking, and crotch grinding/grabbing positively overloaded my sensors. 

it managed to go way past my (rather liberal) sense of "lol this is ridiculous" and land squarely into disturbed and saddened for miley, her parents, and basically the parts of our culture that say "yeah, that's what we're looking for."

so is this a new thing?

i think the last time i intentionally watched the VMA's as a show (and not just for one performance) was 2001. that year might not ring a bell, but i'm sure you remember one of its most iconic scenes.

even at age 18 i realized it was a tad ridiculous, but i feel like britney spears' huge yellow snake number was somehow a million times classier than the garbage i watched last night.

am i deluding myself? is it because i was in the target age group when britney performed, but have since aged out and am too old to understand miley's gyrations?

admittedly, i was asking jesse--who had turned away in utter disgust and sorrow--"what if this was layla!?!?" which is a typically fogey-ish mindframe, and, NO, i would not be thrilled with my lay-lay being a slave 4 U (or anyone really), but while i have a double standard for my pop stars and my offspring, there seems to be even a "too far" for that category (which layla is obviously never allowed to be in) and litte miss montana found it. 

i'm sure folks were appalled by britney and the snake and  "i'm a slave 4 U" (i mean, not THE most empowering anthem for women, undoubtedly), but it must be said that she could dance, she could PERFORM and i think that while pushing it (as is expected at these things) she managed to look womanly and still leave something to the imagination.

 i feel like miley ONLY cared about shocking. and last night i learned that the last three syllables of the word "titillating" make a WORLD of difference. 

it's bad when i find myself hoping that a 20 year old is on drugs and not actually making these decisions with a sober brain.

i am making fun of miley a lot, and i definitely want to put her in a very long timeout (and inside a firmly locked chastity belt and on a course of strong antibiotics for good measure); however, the main emotion i feel is sadness for her. and for all the girls who want to be a "star" like her (aka "horny alien on MDMA") and probably will have to sell out even more as they fall short of even that low standard. sadness that they really think of this as the best possible story for them. 

did yall see it? what did yall think? am i just painting my own generation as better when actually it was just as bad? am i just old? are we being given what we've asked for or is MTV responsible for pioneering new horizons of trash? is it miley's fault or is she just a product of child stardom? how the hell do i keep my daughter from lionizing this?

all this miley thinking got me singing one of her hits in my brain, and i was darkly amused remembering this line:

Hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream & a cardigan
Welcome to the land of fame, excess. Am I gonna fit in?

YES. sadly. please put your cardigan ON!

UPDATE: thank you to a sweet and gracious reader who reminded me to be clear on the difference between the person and the behavior. hear me: i want to direct my hatred, disgust, homicidal tendencies and cutting jokes toward the LIAR (satan) and the behavior, and to shower the hurting, confused 20 year old girl herself in love and grace. my apologies if that isnt how this post sounded; it IS my heart though, all jokes aside.

i feel very convicted that i wouldnt want a hurting miley to ever read this post and think it was how christ felt about her. i think christ would say: "i love you. YOU are enough. i have a better story for you than this."

(thank you, kai!)

better, more thoughtful perspectives than mine:

1. why this bothers women, particularly. (this one is 100% me...because i WAS like miley at 20!)

2. why we are so sorry for the life that got here here, but why her behavior really isnt okay (disagree about the best voice thing)


  1. At first I thought I would show a link to Elvis shaking his pelvis and... say something about how its relative and blah blah blah. But then I remembered this, and I like it.


  2. Sooooooooo good! And it's gone so far now that his example if the Jonas brothers is already out of date bc I look back on them as smart and classy. Oh my.

  3. This: http://dailycaller.com/2013/08/25/smith-family-reaction-sums-up-miley-cyrus-vmas-performance/

    is how I felt. I couldn't even watch the whole thing.

  4. I didn't watch it live. Only on the internet today. It was horrible. I agree, I felt overwhelmingly sad for her.

  5. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I would say that Britney was doing it just for shock too, and it was icky, but not this icky. I'm almost more disappointed in Robin Thicke though. What the heck was he thinking??? He looked like her pimp. Uggh. Miley is young, naïve and most likely taking someone's stupid advice so as sad as it was it wasn't as bad in my mind as a supposed mature adult participating in that debacle. And you keep your child from lionizing this crap by doing what you are doing - giving an example of a healthy relationship with God in it. Giving her boundaries and as she gets older talking about stuff like this as it happens - because trust me, there's no way to completely protect them from seeing this stuff as they get older. I know mine saw stuff we wouldn't have allowed at our house at their friends. Keep the communications lines open - why you don't allow certain things, but being open to discussing what's out there. Often my kids would let me know what they ran into or it's in the media anyway, so it opens up the door to talk about it. Sorry, that was long-winded. And I have to say, maybe I'm totally out of it, but what was with the teddy bears with the tongue hanging out? That was also disturbing to me...

  6. I echo Will Smith's reaction. Super sad for everyone who helped make that happen. We can't put all the blame on Miley....there are so many other people who made that performance possible. Obviously the network didn't care about the content otherwise they would've taken action and not allowed the broadcast of her performance to continue. It's a sad world we live in....I pray that God will help me guide my children in the right direction but ultimately they will one day be making decisions on their own. Hopefully the right ones.

  7. I completely agree: Miley's behavior on the show was totally and completely inappropriate. I do feel, however, that as older Christian women (granted, I'm only 24!), our reaction shouldn't be to call her names or speak harshly against her as a person, but rather, to attempt to understand what is causing her to act this way. She obviously wants attention, and we can all agree that this is certainly not a healthy way to garner attention. To me, her behavior indicates that something may be going on at a heart level, and if that's the case, we should be speaking words of grace and love over her, not calling her vile or wishing death upon her. Yes, I understand that your words may be spoken tongue-in-cheek, but honestly, how does that remark reflect the love that Christ has for this young girl? You state later in your post that you feel sadness for her, but at that point, all I could see was your overwhelming disgust not for Miley's moves or behavior, but for the person Miley is portraying herself to be.
    This saying is so trite, and I hate to employ it here, but while we may hate Miley's behavior, we're called to love her. Let's strive to ensure that our speech and criticism discussing the event don't become malicious words attacking a young, possibly hurting girl.

    1. i totally agree with this!

      i worried that my knee-jerk, over-the-top, sarcastic reactions to the behavior might be taken this way and might not be the best show of grace to the person herself(like would i EVER talk about someone i knew who was struggling like this in this way? nope. no way). its almost like i dont think she is a real person. i think this might be a problem that she has too right now.

      i actually read a really great perspective today on this thing and why it is getting to a lot of women particularly: http://t.co/MnWFP9fEen (i was a very similar 20 year old actually and i hate that i waste my life and purity on these things...so i share that hatred towards someone i see making the same-ish mistakes. logical? probably not).

      her behavior? vile. straight up. the consequences of some of those behaviors: viruses. but youre totally right it's the lie she is hearing or the wound she is suffering from that i should use my "free kill" and zingers on and not the 20 year old girl herself.

      thank you so much for bringing up this perspective in love! i am 100% with you. my cutting remarks are directed at the behavior and the liar, not the girl who took the apple because she believed his lie that it was a better option than what god had for her.

      thank you sister!

  8. I agree with everything except the "joke" that maybe you wish she'd die. If we're going to throw around hyperbole like "it's a sad world we live in" because a 20-year-old has made a very poor decision (and a bunch of adults broadcast it to the world), then I'd argue that it's a much sadder world that good people are unwittingly pushing the boundaries of decency thru the impersonal, remote, and often anonymous internet medium. Forget miley cyrus, this is what our society has gotten to? That the Christian mom blogger, who is taking the moral high road, is calling somebody "Vyrus" and making jokes that they should die? Not trying to be too hard on you Keight, but I think online bullying is a major problem and letting even the seemingly innocent jokes like yours pass by unchallenged is a small part of the problem.

  9. PS You don't have to post that if you don't want - should have sent a direct message instead of a comment anyways.

    1. no it's absolutely okay. you are 100% right! you are NOT being too hard on me and i totally agree that i went too far with the "jokes" and the exaggerations.

      i did have a big change of heart last night, and i hope you read my updates and the follow up comments regarding my regret at being so harsh to/about an actual human girl.

      for some reason i didnt think it counted as bullying since she is a celebrity but you are ABSOLUTELY right that it is and i DO NOT want to be a part of that.

      i am not going to delete my original remarks because i dont want to just pretend like i didnt make a mistake, but i do apologize for attacking (even under the auspices of joking) another human.

      thanks for being so well spoken and kind in your criticism!

  10. To be honest, this treatment of the whole VMAs debacle was more than a little slut shame-y. Yes, her performance was disturbing, but not because she was promiscuous. That, in and of itself, is nothing to be ashamed about--it's eyebrow raising that Robin Thicke was involved and I was definitely weirded out, but throughout it all she maintained a sense of agency that is often missing in many "tamer" stars' acts. Everything she did was her choice. She was the instigator in her most provocative moments, not a passive doll in the background. Now, considering that she's 20, it's right for her to be able to make that choice, but of course it was a questionable one.
    Don't think that I support what she was doing. It was incredibly racist. Appropriating "ratchet" culture as a white woman and using Black woman's bodies as oversexualized props is horrific for anyone to do, much less in such a public domain and with such a young following. And especially when she's using that small, heavily stereotyped subsection of Black culture to further her career and make money.
    But connecting her actions to STDs and Satan is uncalled for. You say that you want to shower her with love and grace, but from here it sounds a lot like blame.

    1. I agree with the additional problem of racism that was displayed. I was very uncomfortable with how she was treating her backup dancers bodies (just in general and with the added problem of a rich white woman doing those things to a black woman as if she was simply a prop).

      We clearly have different views on sexual empowerment. I'm not claiming she was forced to do anything but rather mourning the fact that those were her choices made in freedom..

      I disagree that associating her behavior with stds and satan is uncalled for. If you know my perspective you know that I believe wounds and lies that lead people away from Jesus are from satan. I am in NO WAY calling her satan. I thought that was clear.

      And I think it IS fair to associate stds with drug-using, hard-partying, "do who we want to" lifestyle that she is so obviously claiming to be a part of.

      It did sound like blame at first and that's why I wanted to be clear to show a deeper perspective than my flippant sarcastic grossed out one by saying my enemy in this isn't a 20 year old girl. It's satan. He gets all the blame.

  11. I feel like fame just ruins people sometimes. And the VMAs love to be controversial. The song is about doing whatever you want... and then blurred lines. It's awful that we are so desensitized that you have to shock everyone to have entertainment. As a famous person, even bad press is press. People are talking about something, so you're getting attention. I'm sure she knew there would be fall out. She probably feels so awesome with all the backlash. I could not believe all the tongue and gyrating... her crotch almost popped out multiple times (shutter). It just looked so trashy :-( And she's better than that.

  12. I think that she accomplished exactly what she wanted.
    Makes me sad for her. Satan feeds us some lies complete with caviar and served on a golden spoon... making them simply too much too resist.

  13. This marks my 3rd attempt in leaving a reply. The first tool way too long... So here is the short and short of it. Your wit and humor and self deprecation is often used to ground me (and others) in truth and Christ. You had a knee jerk reaction to an inexcusably vulgar display, by someone in a public sphere with too much sway over impressionable minds. It may have been a little bashy, but the moral outrage is within reason. She is not just denigrating her self, but the influence is so far reaching. Having taught high school recently, so many of these kids, especially with questionable home lives are just leaves in the wind, so easily tossed about by negative role models. There is no doubt Satan is using her as a platform. If a hurting Miley read this, it might be the catalyst she needed. I doubt she will though :)
    The only perfect person was Christ. We all make mistakes, at least yours are filled with spot-on puns.

  14. Also... in the aftermath, no one talks about how bad her hair was. Maybe she was overcompensating by being slutty so we wouldn't attack her hair? Instead, her character was attacked lol

  15. Came across this today....

  16. Ditto all that. I think this brought Mr. Thicke to a low point, too. A 30-something married man with a child singing those lyrics while having what I perceive to be a troubled young woman making bad choices by, among other things, simulating with him, was a very bad choice for him, too. I wouldn't think that this is the image he wants for himself. ICK!