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Things to Consider Before Separation (and Divorce)


1. If you have children, do not leave the marital residence until you have an agreed and signed parenting time plan detailing when each party can spend time with the children. It is much easier to leave the home then to get back in once you have left. New Jersey does not recognize legal separation, but the parties can privately contract an agreement, called a Consent Order, laying out various issues such as parenting time and child support.

2. Sanitize your online profile. In any custody fight, the first thing your opposing counsel will look for is dirt that you have posted online. This can harm your chances of getting an acceptable custody decision from the Court.

3. Begin saving a war chest for pending legal fees and all other costs that will now be your sole responsibility to pay.

4. If your marriage is not irretrievable broken, find a good marriage therapist and give it every chance in the world. Also, find and employ a good child therapist if you feel your children would benefit from seeing a therapist. Children can make it through a divorce, but steps must be taken to limit the trauma. Studies have proven its worse for children whose parents stay in a broken marriage and observe domestic and verbal abuse/violence between mom and dad.

5. Open your own Post Office Box to receive new mail in your name only. Preparing to be financially single is very important during this time.

6. Obtain a credit card in your sole name with a low interest rate or 0% introductory rate.

7. Inventory your bank accounts, investments, assets and debts.

8. Go see a family lawyer immediately to learn your rights, the divorce process, and laws applicable to your case. Divorce is about fear of the unknown and having a knowledgeable family attorney at your side is priceless and can greatly reduce your stress and anxiety.