Being Normal: Get a Handle on Your Body

Learn how to understand your mysterious body

Am I Normal: Weird Woman
Corbis, n/a
Whether it's sudden hair loss or the unmitigated urge to move to a third-world country (permanently), our bodies do these things that no Sex and the City episode could ever explain. You may chalk it up to a temporary wiring malfunction — or you may have a panic attack over what these physiological and psychological mysteries could mean. Find out what's typical and what's not — and how to get help when you need it. We promise not to point and laugh.

Am I Normal? I pop ibuprofen like it's Trident.

One study found that 44 percent of people who take nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs like ibuprofen take more than the recommended amount, and chronic users are three times more likely to develop gastrointestinal discomfort, bleeding, or ulcers (which are potentially lethal side effects) than nonusers. "The first question you should ask is, 'Why do I need to take ibuprofen on a regular basis?'" says Radley Griffin, M.D., chief resident at the University of Florida Department of Family Medicine. "Using pain medication for acute instances like menstrual pain and muscle aches is acceptable; however, chronic pain may result from an underlying condition or disease like migraines, menstrual disorders, fibromyalgia, arthritis, or depression." Use ibuprofen as directed, and try acetaminophen (Tylenol), which has fewer side effects, Dr. Griffin says.

Am I Normal? I have more gas than a Texaco tanker.

You would think men have the run on gastrointestinal TNT, but statistically, men and women both pass wind an average of 13 times a day. There is, however, one difference. "Women tend to be more sensitive to the same amount of gas that is present in the gastrointestinal tract," says Linda Lee, M.D., assistant professor of gastroenterology at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine in Baltimore. Healthy foods like broccoli, garlic, onions, and beans cause gas, as do carbonated drinks. But excess gas can be a sign of irritable bowel syndrome, a hypersensitivity disorder that affects more women than men. You should see a doctor if your gas is accompanied by constipation, diarrhea, weight loss, pain, or blood in your stool.

Am I Normal? I'm doing nasty stuff to an ex-boyfriend from way back.

Every single one of us has wanted to ram our high heels into his backside at some point, but there's a difference between thinking and doing. "It's normal to have revenge fantasies when someone hurts you," says Gilda Carle, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Mercy College in Dobbs Ferry, New York. The key word is fantasy. Actually breaking his windows, spreading scathing gossip, or deep-frying his BlackBerry hurts you, because it's emotionally draining (not to mention the fact that it might be a crime). Best solution: Write out your revenge fantasy, destroy it, then say, Tom who? "When you forgive, you're releasing negativity and stress," Dr. Carle says. "Understand that the opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference."

Am I Normal? I'm shedding like my Labrador.

Start collecting and counting. "It's annoying, but we ask our patients to count how many hairs they're losing a day," says Jeanine B. Downie, M.D., director of Image Dermatology in Montclair, New Jersey. Losing more than 150 hairs a day or a sudden increase in hair loss (from 20 to 100 hairs a day) may indicate a thyroid or hormonal condition, be a consequence of pregnancy or stress, or be genetic. Although doctors can't always pinpoint why it happens, it's a good idea to have a thyroid test if the hair loss continues for more than 3 months; a scalp biopsy may be needed if blood tests come back normal. You may also benefit from not treating your hair as though it's your lawn. "Stop torturing your hair and you will help it to not fall out," Dr. Downie says. Excessive blow-drying and constant or nonprofessional processing can cause the hair shaft to break.

Am I Normal? That's it. I'm off to the Peace Corps.

After an emotional devastation like a breakup or job loss, the geographic cure — moving to escape a problem — can be tempting. However, the problem won't stay stateside. "It's a question of whether you're acting on impulse or whether you're fulfilling a vision that you've held for a long time," says Michaele Dunlap, Psy.D, a psychologist in Portland, Oregon. Before jetting off, make safe changes. Take a leave of absence from work rather than quitting. Sublet your apartment to travel. Stop e-mailing for a few days, watch silly movies, turn off the alarm, and get up only when you're rested. Sometimes, when something's broken, you don't need to throw it away; you just need to replace the battery.

Am I Normal? I'm seriously considering what would happen if I steered into the path of that 18-wheeler.

Steer straight, sis. Fleeting thoughts of death are actually healthy and uplifting because they force us to appreciate the present, says Sheldon Solomon, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs, New York. Thoughts of death that occur several times a week or cause your heart to race or palms to sweat may be a consequence of posttraumatic stress disorder. Just talking about it with a friend, a therapist, or the deli lady can help. "Sometimes just the knowledge that what you're thinking is common and benign is sufficiently uplifting [and can] remove the problem," Dr. Solomon says. "Take comfort in the fact that this is something that should inevitably cross our minds."

Am I Normal? I'm addicted to lip balm.

No, you're not addicted, Angelina. Lip balm doesn't contain any addictive ingredients. You're "addicted" to the sensation. "Women constantly coat their lips because they feel like their lips are chapped, dry, or look uneven," Dr. Downie says. Coat away; there's no danger. "It's not really possible to put too much lip balm on, because if you put too much on, it rubs off," says Charles Zugerman, M.D., a professor of dermatology at Northwestern University School of Medicine in Chicago. Opt for lip balm over licking. When saliva evaporates from the lips, so does the skin's natural defense, and lips can become inflamed. "Lip balm helps to reestablish the skin's natural barrier and keep moisture in," Dr. Zugerman says. Sun exposure also dries the lips. Apply sunblock to your lips before lip balm.

Am I Normal? I've never had an orgasm during sex.

Judging by the fact that only 30 percent of women have orgasms during intercourse, it seems you're not alone. And maybe not being alone is the problem, since masturbation is the best way to prepare your body for orgasms with your partner. "Orgasms are learned in puberty, if not before," says Jennifer Berman, M.D., director of the Female Sexual Medicine Center at UCLA. "And if for whatever reason the brain-genital connections don't happen, they don't miraculously appear later in life." Treat climaxes the way you would treat golf — you have to practice to get better. One technique (sans putter): Stroke your clitoris lightly, using a circular motion and increasing pressure every few minutes. Once you've logged solo flight time, you can bring in a copilot. Use the same technique with your (or his) fingers, then slide on top of him so you can control the grinding motion yourself. Never experiencing an orgasm, even during masturbation, could signal an orgasmic disorder that could be related to a medical condition or medications, and you should talk to your doctor about it.

Am I Normal? I'm cold, even when it's 80 degrees inside.

Body temperatures vary because of things like sleep deprivation, age, ethnicity, menstrual cycle, an underactive thyroid, or poor diet. Another reason: Your resting metabolic rate, which warms you by breaking down fats and carbs. "Men have a greater resting metabolic rate because they have greater muscle mass," says Ellen Glickman, Ph.D., professor of exercise science at Kent State University. (It's also why you often feel colder than he does.) Women typically have more fat and less muscle than men, and muscle is a better insulator because it actively triggers a shiver — a mechanism that revs a body's metabolism and makes it feel warmer. Adding or increasing some strength training can help to increase your resting metabolic rate — something that tends to decline with age.
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