Texas Attorney Calls His First Witness And Gets a Surprise

Lawyers should never ask a Texas grandmother a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney in Texas called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”  She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Smith. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit& nbsp;paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”


The defense attorney almost died.  The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you to the electric chair.”



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