If you've ever perused apartment listings in the classifieds, or spent any amount of time on Craigslist, you are probably familiar with the particular tropes of the art form: So many exclamation points!!! THE UNNECESSARY ALL CAPS. The legally required utilities recast as luxury. And, for entirely inexplicable reasons, ★★★stars★★★!

It's all crafted as supporting evidence for the one detail that can't be airbrushed: the price tag. (Newly Renovated, Stunning, Spacious Studio w/ Private Terrace! $2199) Based on unscientific assessment, we'll posit that the more ridiculous the rent, the more absurd the rental ad. Which also means, if you've been hunting for a home in New York, or Washington, or San Francisco, you've probably seen the best of the genre.

This brings us to The Broker Bodega, a particularly therapeutic Tumblr send-up of the comic world of rental ads (yes, this world has spawned a lot of great Tumblrs, because what are you going to do with a $3,000, 300 square-foot luxury affordable basement studio but laugh, and then cry, and then blog about it?).

So, as Dan Brill's Broker Bodega wonders, "What if NYC apartment brokers ran a bodega?" Well, probably this:

And this:

And this:


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