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The INFJ Personality Type

INFJs are creative nurturers with a strong sense of personal integrity and a drive to help others realize their potential. Creative and dedicated, they have a talent for helping others with original solutions to their personal challenges.

The Counselor has a unique ability to intuit others' emotions and motivations, and will often know how someone else is feeling before that person knows it himself. They trust their insights about others and have strong faith in their ability to read people. Although they are sensitive, they are also reserved; the INFJ is a private sort, and is selective about sharing intimate thoughts and feelings.

Are you an INFJ?

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What does INFJ stand for?

INFJ is one of the sixteen personality types created by Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers. INFJ is an acronym for the personality traits of Introversion, iNtuition, Feeling, and Judging. The INFJ type is also called the "Counselor" and is described as idealistic, compassionate, and sensitive.

Each of the four letters of the INFJ code signifies a key personality trait of this type. INFJs are energized by time alone (Introverted), focus on ideas and concepts rather than facts and details (iNtuitive), make decisions based on feelings and values (Feeling) and prefer to be planned and organized rather than spontaneous and flexible (Judging).

How common is the INFJ personality type?

INFJ is the rarest type in the population. It is the least common type among men, and the third least common among women (after INTJ and ENTJ). INFJs make up:

  • 2% of the general population
  • 2% of women
  • 1% of men

Famous INFJs

Famous INFJs include Mohandas Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt, Emily Bronte, Carl Jung, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Florence Nightingale, Shirley MacLaine, Jimmy Carter, and Edward Snowden.

INFJ Values and Motivations

INFJs are guided by a deeply considered set of personal values. They are intensely idealistic, and can clearly imagine a happier and more perfect future. They can become discouraged by the harsh realities of the present, but they are typically motivated and persistent in taking positive action nonetheless. The INFJ feels an intrinsic drive to do what they can to make the world a better place.

INFJs want a meaningful life and deep connections with other people. They do not tend to share themselves freely but appreciate emotional intimacy with a select, committed few. Although their rich inner life can sometimes make them seem mysterious or private to others, they profoundly value authentic connections with people they trust.

How Others See the INFJ

INFJs often appear quiet, caring and sensitive, and may be found listening attentively to someone else’s ideas or concerns. They are highly perceptive about people and want to help others achieve understanding. INFJs are not afraid of complex personal problems; in fact, they are quite complex themselves, and have a rich inner life that few are privy to. They reflect at length on issues of ethics, and feel things deeply. Because Counselors initially appear so gentle and reserved, they may surprise others with their intensity when one of their values is threatened or called into question. Their calm exterior belies the complexity of their inner worlds.

Because INFJs are such complex people, they may be reluctant to engage with others who might not understand or appreciate them, and can thus be hard to get to know. Although they want to get along with others and support them in their goals, they are fiercely loyal to their own system of values and will not follow others down a path that does not feel authentic to them. When they sense that their values are not being respected, or when their intuition tells them that someone’s intentions are not pure, they are likely to withdraw.

INFJ Hobbies and Interests

Popular hobbies for the INFJ include writing, art appreciation, cultural events, reading, socializing in small, intimate settings, and playing or listening to music.

Facts about INFJs

Interesting facts about the INFJ:

  • Least common type in the population
  • On personality trait scales, scored as Sincere, Sympathetic, Unassuming, Submissive, Easygoing, Reserved and Patient
  • Among highest of all types in college GPA
  • Among most likely to stay in college
  • Most likely of all types to cope with stress by seeing a therapist
  • Highest of all types in marital dissatisfaction
  • Personal values include Spirituality, Learning, and Community Service
  • Commonly found in careers in religion, counseling, teaching, and the arts

Source: MBTI Manual

Quotes About INFJs

"The visions of the INFJs tend to concern human welfare, and their contributions are likely to be made independent of a mass movement."

- Isabel Briggs Myers, Gifts Differing

"These seclusive and friendly people are complicated themselves, and so can understand and deal with complex ethical issues and with deeply troubled individuals."

- David Keirsey, Please Understand Me II

"INFJs' nonstop search for learning, self-growth, and development—and wishing the same for everyone else—makes them very reassuring to others and people worth emulating."

- Otto Kroeger, Type Talk at Work

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Torin says...

I find it interesting that I am also an INFJ and had a step-parent that took advantage of me. I am very sensitive and the experience hardened me. It wasn't until I separated myself from that experience that I found my compassionate side again.

WriterActressChristFollower (not verified) says...

I've always struggled with 'who am I?' I was bullied as a child in school and always felt so different and alone. I wasn't ugly. I wasn't dumb. I wasn't unpleasant. I simply had an odd last name. By God's grace, I was able to overcome the hurt enough to discover that I had a gift for singing. For many years, singing defined me. It took me places and introduced me to,people and opportunities. Thankfully, I met and married a very loving, kind, generous, patient, and God-loving Extrovert (likely an ENFJ). Though not perfect, our marriage has been a wonderful, safe relationship for me that has kept me from becoming a total recluse. I benefit from his outgoing personality! However, as an earlier comment mentioned, there have been times in my life that have proven more confusing or difficult than others. 2019 was one of those times. Now in my 60s, I found myself struggling more than ever with 'who I really am' and 'why do I feel so different'? Thankfully, I decided to revisit the personality types and retake the test, reminding myself that I am an INFJ - and the understanding of what that means has been so encouraging and liberating. As a result, I am once again able to accept and embrace who I am and look forward to 2020 and truly being ME. I look forward to enjoying the personality strengths and the gifts God has given me to help others in whatever ways I can. Sometimes, we just need to be reminded...❤ 

Mat (not verified) says...

I've taken a few different versions of the test and until recently had always thought I was INFP. It never really resonated well with me, I felt like I couldn't really relate properly to the kinds of barriers, strengths etc typically associated to INFPs. I'm enjoy the arts but am not overly creative. I get highly invested in a project that im interested in and developing sytems and procedures for work and typically my happier times I've tried to incorporate my work persona at home.


Depression has really changed my perception of the world but I feel like at my core I'm more of an INFJ that has fallen into unhealthy patterns and 'conditioned' in some ways. I have this deep intuition with people and find that I can figure people out quite quickly where people can have a harder time doing the same with me. If I feel like I can't express my feelings on particular topics I tend to stress out and "act out" engaging in sensory type experiences, whether it's drinking heavily/taking substances or something more positive such as focusing heavily on exercise. I'm prone to burning myself out and investing too much time into my work which doesn't really satisfy my need to "be more". 

Reading over articles on personality is proving to be a pretty good personal growth tool for me as I struggle with feelings of unsatisfaction/outgrowing some friendships. It can be lonely sometimes but I'm getting better and beginning to thrive more on my own. I'm also beginning to understand why I've typically been able to get the most out of people at work and why I've been relied on so much

Misty Dawn (not verified) says...

Many people want so badly to feel special (even though they already are and just can't see it) that they will tailor their answers to what they think an INFJ would say instead of what they as an individual really prefer. Another thing to consider when it comes to inconsistent results is how the questions are answered. I'd be willing to bet that the majority of people answer MBTI survey questions based on what they would DO as opposed to what they would PREFER. Personality tests should ALWAYS be answered with what your first instinct would be in the given scenario...NOT what you would actually DO, whether you like the answer or not.

Behavior is moreso based on conditioning and our experiences and is far less a reflection of our core personalities, especially as we get older and work to integrate our own unique selves into a diverse society of other individuals.

People are more likely to have gotten an accurate result if the test was taken as a child rather than waiting to take it until adulthood. As children we are inherently self-aware, whereas as we age we become more emotionally and behaviorally complicated, making it much more difficult to really know our core preferences for what they truly are since we spend so much of our lives learning how to balance our quirks with appropriate social behavior.

Empress says...

I am a very shy person sometimes i don't like when im around a lot of people in a small space because i feel trapped and I feel like im being closed in. Althrough I like being around a lot of people sometimes it can get to be too much to handle. I think i work best with other people that are like quiet and calm because ive always been happy to meet new people I just was not really that outgoing person. Like if i like someone I not just going go up to them and tell them that i like them because im a shy person when i first meet someone i'm shy because I don't know what that person likes to do what their favorite fruit , color , food, or sport is so like we may be different as soon as we meet and  I may not know it. I don't really talk to alot of people in school cause most of the time i like to be alone and do my own thing. I've always been like this ever since i was a child and still i like that. My sister doesn't like being around a lot of people too i get it from my mom alot. We have a lot of things in common she's a quiet person im a quiet person. When i go out in public and if i see someone i know i don't want to be noticed by that person because I don't like being seen by people that I know from school because it makes me nervous. It's not like im scared to be seen in the outside world i just don't like being in the center of attention all the time.If im doing homework for school I will most likley want to do it in a quiet place because i can focus on it more better. I love doing  thigns in a quiet environment because it makes me feel safe and relaxed. I can't work in a loud place because it makes me feel nervous and scared.But Im a very cool , calm person to work with if you work good with me and communicate and we share ideas with each other then we can work together.


Jack (not verified) says...

It figures infj makes the lowest average salary of all types. A lot to give but in real life misunderstood, not valued, struggling. This comes back to the type of society most infj live in. Western warrior society that values toughness.  Infj is honest and kind qualities that rock other people's boats and cause derision.

Fatima (not verified) says...

I believe we are fluid in our development and enlightenment journey. When I was young I took the test and it came as INFJ.. I guess to some extent I wasn’t aware fully of who I was or how to fit in or make sense of the world around me.. I didn’t give it much of importance 

through many life experiences that had its fair share of pain, joy and lessons I fluctuated between INTJ/INTP from that result made sense to a certain level 

recently I decided to go deeper in the theory with CAR model using personality hacker book; that was a GEM! 

I am an INFJ.. the NT at certain life part made sense as I was blocking some painful areas.. my F T result almost equal 8-7 respectively. And the book goes in depth explaining how you go around those exercises and types 

the CAR model enables u to know ur functions, and thought process along with the traits that you show if your N function is developed or underdeveloped

recently with lots of reflection and means to strengthen thought processes, I feel more at ease navigating my emotions ... when I look back at the T result I used to fee confused as I also got some F aspects in decision making and other life experiences


great summary of INFJ type; please check personality hacker it helps you go beyond the types and develop your inner thought processes and sometimes that level of work is subconscious we just do it without thinking much about it 



Liblairian (not verified) says...

I just recently took the test (last time I took it was in middle school, and I can’t remember what I was.) I was curious to take it as an adult when I have a more firm grasp of who I am and what I believe. I think it seems fairly accurate. 

Podcast: The Truth with Bill (not verified) says...

Friends (INFJ's), we are biological vehicles that contain a soul. That soul is eternal, it is a fraction of the Divine. We live life after life until our soul has progressed to the INFJ field, this will be our last or close to our last bioligical life here in this physical realm. It is important that you know who and what you are so you can add to the Collective Consiousness, pushing each bioligical life forward. when our work is done there will be others in line as there were others before us. It is the purpose of this Realm and "life". Close your eyes and say to yourself, "Within this body I am free," three times, you will feel it and know.

LeAnn (not verified) says...

Through several sources over the years I've been told my soul has been here on the planet a great deal.  At one point the numerologist asked me why I keep coming back as she definitely doesn't want to after this current life. 

For me it's the animals and nature plus the discovery of a soul contract with a cat.  My animal communicator has told me a lot about that and she sees us still together in the year 2300 so it doesn't look like I'm done but given the situation on this planet it might just be another planet, different life form by then.

Given that time really only exists here, that in reality could happen a lot faster, all things considered. I want to be an advisor on the other side as they have helped me so much during this life, I am so grateful for their guidance!

Thank you for your comments and the mantra, very  helpful.



Daisy1 (not verified) says...

I was a valedictorian of my graduating class at my university. So it is true that INFJs are pretty good in school.

RevKev (not verified) says...

Just stumled on this blog and it is odd to see bits of myself in so many of your posts. Always lived mostly inside my head. Started out heading toward visual arts, went into business, kind of faked that for 14-15, but didn't have that animal instinct for profit. Now working in the clergy for 12 years. Find myself oddly energized by helping others see and realize their potential in God and as individuals.  Sometimes can't get away from the crowds quickly enough though...can get cynical with some who whine and drone. My empathy has limits. I have genuine compassion for the downtrodden, the addicted, the mentally/emotionally wounded, but not the patience to remian in the space of care with them endlessly. Have decided my best use of time is investing in those with the real spark of potential who listen, learn, grow and change, even if slowly. Married to a more "sensing," extroverted woman for almost 30 years now. After many challenges, it's taken almost this long for both of us to realize that I'm not intentionally trying to frustrate her, but just operate extremely differently. I can be a horrible procrastinator, especially with the creative things that energize me like drawing, writing, creating things. Otherwise, get my job done, but always in the 11th hour. Diagnosed with ADD in my 50's and seeing some improvement in focus in my work with meds...not a panacea though. Lastly, can slip into depression for no apparent reason, plus anxietiety, so learning to verbalize that and have my go-to people (my team) that helps keep me upright and forward-moving. Extremely enegerized by quiet, reflective times with soothing music and serene atmmosphere. Don't make it happen enough! Tyranny of the urgent, you know!  Lastly, really struggle to write though. Draft a 2,500 word manuscript every Sunday.         

Misty Dawn (not verified) says...

I just wanted to say that your post resonated with me more than most others have. I can completely relate to not being able to verbalize my own needs. It's easy to think to yourself "I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP ME STOP FREAKING OUT INSIDE!!!", but how on Earth do you say that to people and have them actually understand what you are even talking about!? 

"Tyrrany of the urgent..", man that is too true. I always feel rushed...I HATE feeling rushed. I too struggle with reading, as I tend to get stuck on a line or thought from the text and fall into my head as I analyze it and make mental associations about it, instead of focusing on what I'm actually reading. Lots of re-reading of paragraphs...very frustrating; I too enjoy writing very much though.

reikirach (not verified) says...

Hi RevKev,

Thanks for your reply to my post, I only just saw it for some reason most of the responses were going to my junk email folder.... 

I can relate to pretty much all of what you say as well, it's eerily accurate this INFJ stuff isn't it hehe

I can procrastinate too, in fact I'm doing it right now lol...I always get stuck in the details of what I want to do because I want to make sure I'm the best I can be before I actually start and then never get started...(frustrating)!!! 

The challenges in my relationship are very difficult with me being so emotionally charged and him being almost unemotional altogether lol, but we are working on it and I hope we can get through them as well. I totally get the operating extremely differently, I think I call it being on completely different planets in different universes hahaha.... It has been recommended that I take an anti depressant for anxiety and to help balance my emotions and although I'm not really keen on it, I'm thinking it may help me get a little more focused too...I seem to have trouble with staying focused as well. 

Anyway thank you for commenting :) 


reikirach (not verified) says...

Hi all, I am an INFJ well that's what the Myers Briggs test tells me I am....I have also been labeled as an Empath and my psychologist thinks I may have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) ouch!!! I have been through some traumatic times in my life yes and felt misunderstood my entire life (still do) and I have constantly searched to find out why I feel so different to everyone else. I would call myself a universally spiritual person and have found a lot of solace in some of the spiritual principals, however the so called 'spiritual' community still has a lot of ego attached to it, and there are alot of fake people out there trying to be something they're not, preaching and teaching alot of stuff that really isn't any different to preaching religion or politics. I believe we all find what we need, we intuitively gravitate towards what feels right for us whether that be religion, spirituality or certain practices that help us get through what we need to get through and I do not judge any of them if it feels right for you... providing you are discerning enough to be able to look at things with an honest evaluation and not just escaping to a comfort zone of not having to be responsible for yourself and your actions. 

I can see how the psych profession could think I have BPD because I can relate to the majority of the criteria but one thing I don't subscribe to is the being out of touch with reality, I have a heightened sense of intuition which always proves to be true in the end and is often denied by the person in question at the time. This causes me alot of anxiety and has me questioning myself all the time. Society always tries to label us, and we ourselves search for a label of some sorts in order to understand ourselves. I also do this, and it's not wrong or right, it's a good thing to look deep to find and accept who we are. But recently having lost my best friend, I have done some very deep soul searching and it's becoming very clear, that regardless of the labels we are given or attach to ourselves, we are perfectly ok just the way we are. 

I have trouble regulating my emotions (hence the BPD diagnosis) and I'm very hyper sensitive when I'm in a relationship which does make it difficult for me and the person I'm with. However, in hindsight, alot of what I get sensitive about is because I KNOW what's going on, I can feel it, see it, sense it and often the other person is in denial of what I'm bringing to the surface. I then get told I'm wrong, and I don't know what I'm talking about, only to find out in hindsight that I was right!!! but the damage is already done, I've been forced to deal with emotions and question my self about everything. I too feel like I want to be far away from everyone most of the time, because the energies around me can get overwhelming & yet I'm very good with people when I'm ready to be. I'm actually a completely different person as an adult to what I was when I was a child, I was very outgoing and chatty and always looked for friends to play with, but life has taught me that I can't trust anyone and get constantly disappointed so I have become very isolated and protective of myself, does that mean I wasn't born as an INFJ? Did society turn me into one?  Do I think I can change? I don't know, do I want to? No!  I don't want to change who I am, but I do want to learn how to regulate my emotions a little because I don't want to accept that this is the suffering I have to endure the rest of my life because the other people around me are certainly not going to accommodate for my over sensitivity. 

I came here to write this, because I relate to all of your stories and I wanted to share mine with people that understood and I guess in a way I want to find a tribe of people who can relate without judgement. I actually want to make a difference and help people who are like me, like us!! these sites absolutely help so I want to go beyond that and learn strategies and provide a safe place for people to grow and learn but still remain true to themselves. Not having to change who they are, but if they want to have an option to learn how to learn coping skills etc for those overwhelming moments we feel. 

I'm going to start a facebook group for this, and I was just wanting some feedback to see if this is something that people like yourselves would find helpful? 


Misty Dawn (not verified) says...

TBH, based on your writing patterns, thought processes and communication style, not to mention the amount of information you have shared, you come across WAAAY more as an INFP than an INFJ. I don't know you personally obviously, so there's no way I could know that for sure, but your mannerisms are incongruent with what one would typically think of as an INFJ, and your chatty energetic nature as a child lends one to think you are more on the Perceiving side of things than the Judging side, as does your deep attachment to the emotions involved with events from your past and the way you express your frustrations about them. I hope you don't take my observation as criticism, you seem like you are likely a really cool person to know.

I only speak up because I have found that, for me personally, not holding clinging too tightly to one MBTI type result just because I like the sound of it, at least at first, has made it easier to understand myself and many of my quirks and shortcomings. For example, it doesn't really help me much in application to recognize that my personality type is likely a large part of why I have an unbelieveably difficult time with punctuality and keeping my house tidy (ironically, I absolutely HATE clutter but can never seem to escape it); it does however help with the guilt for me to know that my flaws are a part of who I am as a person, and that I don't have to be ashamed of them; we must continue to work on curbing negative habits and strive to maintain a growth oriented mindset so that we may overcome the challenges each of our unique personalities presents in our lives.

Lor (not verified) says...

Got to say, I'm with Misty Dawn on this one. Reikirach, you also strike me as more of an INFP than an INFJ. You (Reikirach) might find it interesting ad illuminating to look into Enneagram type Four. MBTI and Enneagram explorations are meant to help us to understand ourselves better and to help to bring to greater consciousness unconscious material in our make-up that drive us (for better or worse). BPD is most associated with Enneagram type Four and you (Reikirach) may find the insights within the Enneagram helpful in working with the BPD-like traits you are expressing. BPD is extraordinarily painful for both the individual suffering with it and for those in relationship with the individual with BPD. 


Drew A (not verified) says...

I've taken many tests and INFJ looks conclusive, but on certain tests I come out ISTP. I also often feel that ISTP fits me in a secondary way, more than any other type. Then I discovered what seems to be an explanation. The ISTP is the only other introverted MBTI type with the same cognitive functions. They just manifest in different order. INFJ = Ni-Fe-Ti-Se. ISTP = Ti-Se-Ni-Fe. It's almost like I could flip a switch and be ISTP.

Lor (not verified) says...

ESTPs also share the same functions with INFJs, but in a different order: Se Ti Fe Ni, the "flip" of the INFJ. 

Carla26 (not verified) says...

I find it rather peculiar to have different test results at different ages. 

The way we are inside hardly changes so much that we switch types, honestly. I took this test a lot of times over the years and i got other than INFJ when i tried to choose another option in the questions because i was trying to be more flexible in real life. Of course, that didn't fit, because i always plan and think deeply every move i make, that's just who i am to the core. Cannot override this.

So..yeah. Just my 2 cents.

Seterah (not verified) says...

How lovely to discover this site.  I feel like I am not the only one for the first time ever.  We are unfathmomable to many because we hold integrity very highly and try to keep our integrity even if it means we lose out in situations, however I have been burnt so many times in many situations with less scrupulous people.  I even know on one level that this is how it will pan out, by that I mean I know that they are just  'looking out for number one' but I feel that I don't want to be constrained by the values of the world.  I am just not going to allow this fear based and cynical mainstream behaviour to force me into their mould....but I get it perfectly well, people think you are stupid when you are kind and frankly, brave and intelligent.


Guest (not verified) says...

I have always tested INFJ and my only daughter is an INFJ while my 3 sons are all INFP’s. I find I can get along with anyone so long as conversations do not turn to religion (as most people are so fixated, morals, and one’s sense of humor. For the most part these guidlines hold true but as with some exceptions due to extremes, its a good guide. I dislike anyone who’s sense of humor includes anything that causes harm to another. Anyone who finds it funny to hurt someones feelings or seeing someone get hurt OR setting someone up for harm or potential harm, is in my opinion not funny but rather cruel and sadistic. I also do not understand people who compartmentalize to the degree of missing the whole picture. Example is simple terms: A toddler is angered and lashes out at another toddler and slaps them... The second toddler slaps them back... The first toddler is angered and doesnt see why the 2nd toddler hit them ( the big picture is gone and all the 1st now sees is that the 2nd slapped them out of the blue- it is not related to the fact that the 1st slapped them first) These people are dangerous, self justified, lost, and actually consumed in their need to eacape all accountability in their desires to act as they wish with regard to noone else and their desire to escape consequences. However, my biggest concern for our world is that it is filled with people wearing masks, and always hiding their real beliefs, who they really are, and actually are convinced that is normal! People scare me if I think too deeply on how deceptive and socially swayed they are. Why cant others simply be themselves? C’est La Vie! At least with an INFJ you know what you are dealing with and what to expect! Thats what I expect of the few I call friend.

Sandro (not verified) says...

Hola queridos amigos INFJ, les habla otro INFJ, les invito humildemente a nuestra comunidad en habla hispana o español, para poder compartir informacion util y agradable para nosotros, tengan un excelente dia.

Jeff Isabelle (not verified) says...

My major thoughts are that I have not had many good relationships with compatible women.    I was always more interested in doing things like music, skiing or fast cars as a loner type. Then suddenly someone may show a little interest. Then the depth of knowledge would scare that person away usually. Now that I speak with people all over the world its far more fun and interesting. It took me a few years. As it took a few years for me to become more comfortable in speaking about being INFJ as I worked in science and engineering, now I only speak about it in forums like this one to lend support. I just have fun and do it politely when it appropriate. It's also a fun thing in some scenarios. 

Himalaya (not verified) says...

It has taken me to survive into my 60s to discover why I always felt 'different' and definitely a little weird sometimes! Discovering my personality type was a relief and helped me understand myself in relation to others. I have learned being is an INFJ is about listening to better help others and not trying to take responsibility for their life paths so I use words such as 'have you thought about it this way' or 'I wonder if ...' Rather than give advice perhaps it is more beneficial to encourage people to think things through for themselves to better help them make their own decisions and take responsibility for their own lives. Telling people what they should do means we are trying to control and take responsibility for another's life path and none of us have the right to do that. If we perceive they may be making the 'wrong' decision because we can see the adverse effects of that decision then keeping quiet and being supportive is all we can do. We are all part architects of our own destiny and it is perhaps dangerous to become an influence on the destiny of another.

After an extremely challenging life I am content to discover my personality type and although I understand now how and why 2 malign influences affected me so deeply I would rather be kind, compassionate and caring and if there is a price I have paid for that then so be it. Enjoy being who you are. There is not enough kindness in the world for any of you to lose yours. Kindness and compassion perhaps are the human qualities we can bring to those we connect with to balance a little the unkindness we see all around us. Perhaps that is our role and if it is who could be unhappy with that?!

A Kumaran (not verified) says...

Unbelievably accurate about my life and inclinations...  I had taken Briggs-Myers test about 20 years ago, and I got an INFJ at that time, and I wished I had paid attention to the suggestions earlier - about life, career and relationships.

Now, I have only become more defined INFJ (in terms of scores), but I can agree with and relate to every one of the traits given here, and the suggestions for lifestyle, careers, and general outlook towards life.  

Fantastic resource!

JMJeffords (not verified) says...

This INFJ thing is a tough gig -Ive been writing words  worth value since probably since middle school -lived in the big city back in the day as a kid and then moved to subburbs in 74 teachers didnt appreciate my poem on "street walkers" in 7th grade lol.Im to observant.Add in a parent with schizophrenia -alcoholism -homelessness and walah theres your memior.Im a very good listener and Im very good at "counseling" people with problems -but agonize making decisions when it may impact others -sometimes at my own self interest.Stupid.There is so much pain out there -so many searching for answers-reccognition of exsistance -many acting out -now that I am just about an old man perhaps it is time to put away my hopes of changing things and head to the country with some books (wifi for kindle lol) my music and my piece of mind that I tried to do my best (Union Activist-member/Politics/my kids/ and call it a day.

Otávio Aversani (not verified) says...

I'm 25 yo and did it twice... both f tryals match INFJ. That's really interesting too look back and see that since I was a child I fitted those attributes of personality. great! 

Dark Horse (not verified) says...

I arrived late, but Hey, I feel you!

Thank you for sharing, so much learning still to do.

INFJoke (not verified) says...

You guys need to chill out. You're acting like INFJ is something to be proud of and some of you even seem to think you have some kind of super power with these ridiculous holier than thou attitudes. I even saw someone saying they pray for people in their spare time? Give me a break.

Cut the crap, who wants to be a sensitive little snowflake who's an outcast from society? I don't, I wish I was any other type. I hate feeling alone, I hate finding out that everything I ever thought was true to me is just bs made up stuff I concluded and people are actually not as genuine and good as I though them to be, I hate that I'm not participatory in things that interest others with more extrovert mindsets, I hate that I feel like such an insignificant, meaningless dot in the universe striving to find truth in anything and everything, I hate how pathetic I am with women because I don't even try because I know nobody "understands me".

Why do I feel the need to respect other people so much? I've turned into a cynical person now. Alone, I struggle to socialise with people properly because I've forgotten how. I at least used to be able to pretend like I was normal, now I don't even have the energy to put up a front with people and coming up with deep meaningful musings about conversational topics isn't exactly most people's cup of tea, just comes off weird. I want to be normal, not with you bunch of delusionalists, there's nothing special about us. Look at the job prospects 34k below the average salary? That's just fantastic.

Alkey says...

Are you a narcissist? Do you feel or understand love or empathy? You are a dark one and they are dangerous. Maybe you should stop hiding and embrace yourself. It's not sane behavior to want to be someone else. Just saying. We don't think we are special but we do have special gifts. You sound like Stalin, he was a dark INFJ.

YoungofHeartOldofSpirit (not verified) says...

Why turn your self hatred towards us? Why mock fellow INFJs with similar struggles and spurn a community that could actually relate to you and support and advise you in whatever you are going through?

My best guess is that your shadow self is currently in charge. 

I hope you come to peace with your self soon and heal enough to see your differences as strengths. 

Life is far too short to spend it wishing you were living someone elses.

p.s. The ability to see wounds others carry and be able to help heal them is absolutely a super power. It comes with the burden of enormous trust. It could easily be abused and used as a weapon. I am sure at least in a minority of cases it is. Cult leaders can be INFJs too. But if you can heal enough to have healthy boundaries your ability to make a positive difference in the lives of others is almost limitless.

Mike 0167 (not verified) says...

I found this site tonight.  It's like I just found my long lost family.

I (almost) had myself convinced that there was no one else like me.  And I have accepted that long ago.

It doesn't bother me - I know I am different.  Always have been.  The doctor that delivered me saw it.

For the first time, I don't know what to think right now.

Hedwig (not verified) says...

Hello my fellow big hearted and often misunderstood INFJs! Thank you for sharing all your stories, it makes me feel less alone and comforted. My whole life I have felt so misunderstood and judged for being me. I find it weird that people feel that my aloofness, directness, independence and high morals/standards are negative traits but at the same time, they always gravitate to me for help, comfort and reassurance. It gets tiring really that I actually prefer being alone most times. I feel that I have always given so much but I can't even get the most basic respect and courtesy back. It is so weird how society treats those who don't fit the mold. And after 30+ years, it is only now that I have truly realized that the key is self-love. We are capable of so much and have such big hearts and capacity to care and love. But we must also look out for ourselves because a lot of people are drawn to our light and drain it without consideration to us. It's hard to not be jaded and to be open and trusting after 30+ years of this. But it is important to put our needs first, so we can continue to be at our best to help others and the world. :)

Guest (not verified) says...

Instead of falling into a box, read and do the exercise from here:


It will tell you more about WHY you do things and then you can even CHANGE and become more extroverted etc. ... and fulfilled ! do it ! 

Tiny lament (not verified) says...

I am a INFJ advocate type. I keep dreaming about being able to help many of societies downtrodden. I am just a simple SAHM. I often wonder why doesn’t everyone care about the world. Everyone just lives in their little box and does not want to be bothered having deep thoughts. We need to see the world as our family. Not something separate. Oh well. Maybe just being able to (hopefully) teach my own kids to be mindful of the world at large and being active in their community is my life’s work.

Guest (not verified) says...

Does anyone else find it really difficult to choose a career and stick with it??? I read another passage on another website that says "many Advocates struggle to begin a career early on because they see ten wildly different paths forward, each with its own intrinsic rewards, alluring but also heartbreaking, because each means abandoning so much else.". This is me to a T! I have so many careers I want to try in my life, I want to be a teacher, join the Air Force, be a real estate agent and the list goes on! So hard to decide which path the explore first!

Hedwig (not verified) says...

Hello! I truly understand what you mean! I find that because we are highly capable individuals and very curious people that we struggle with this. It took awhile for me to find my path and it took trying out many different hats. And to be honest, I can do all of those jobs I tried and was interested in very well, but in the end, if it isn't for you, your heart will tell you. I realized that I wasn't thriving in an office set up -- being an independent individual with strong values/standards makes it hard to survive in workplaces without burning out or clashing with people). Now I am working independently as a graphic designer and the freedom to do things my way and up to my standards is worth the long journey it took for me to get here (and the absence of office politics is also a plus!). Good luck in your own journey, don't be afraid to explore your options. Even if some paths do not work out, you will still learn and grow from the experience and all that will be useful in your next career. Good luck and believe in all you can do! :)

Chris dna59 (not verified) says...

I'm an INFJ also, I'm curious and want to change the subject a little bit. I have a theory, is there a connection between our personality types and blood type? I'm a rare blood type B-, been wondering if RH- people are also the rare personality types, any thoughts?

C Bo (not verified) says...

I'm currently a high school senior and an INFJ. Since 2009 I knew what I wanted to do as a career -- I wanted to be an animal trainer. Now, I'm second-guessing that idea a *lot* (of course in senior year when it really starts to matter). I've been considering changing my future college major to Communication Studies and becoming a college admissions counselor. I would be able to connect and help people, talk about my college (which I absolutely love), and get paid to travel for college fairs and school visits. How do you guys think an INFJ would do as a college admissions counselor?

Sunshine (not verified) says...

To Draco and others posting here, Thank you for your insights and for being brave enough to expose your inner truth. That is not something that INFJs get to do in regular society without consequences and we can be conditioned into being self-imposed social hermits. Since I have personally benefited from your words, it inspired me to be brave and post my sincere appreciation  We are not alone!

As an INFJ in a fundamentalist family living in a Utah, I broke to an almost irreparable  state. It took leaving my family of origin and moving states away to get to a point where I could breathe enough to start healing. 

Although I feel that society in general rejects me, I wanted to let other INFJs know that real sustaining, life affirming relationships are possible. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful husband by my side who sees me as I am and he loves the real me.

He gets uncomfortable with the personality tests, so I’m not 100% sure what he is,  but I suspect he is ISTJ, maybe ISFJ. Whatever his type, he is the best friend I could ask for. I also have a small handful of true long term friends. I haven’t been very involved with their lives because I spent so much time trying to keep my head above water, but they stuck by me and remain true friends after many years. 

I think we all want to do big things to make the world a better place, but a very good start is to make your own world a better place. Meet your own needs with 100% of your own permission to do so. Then, as opportunities arise, you’ll be in a place where you can make the world around you a better place. Eventually that circle of influence can grow beyond anything currently manifest. 

Love yourself. You deserve it. I don’t even know you and I have love for you. Wishing you each healing, love, safety, joy, and curiosity!



MJI says...

For a while I thought I was an INFP/INTP, but then I looked into what the J really means and realized I had it misunderstood. (My visual mental image of a "Judger" was someone who always kept to a schedule, wrote out extensive lists, had a neat and orderly home.)  I ruled that as a posiblity, since I tend to neglect chores and clean-up to a point (until I can't stand it and have to take corrective action). Other tests are skewed in such a way that it can put me in INFP territory.

Once I realized that my planning system and organization is more subconsious than consious then it helped sort out a few inconsistancies I noticed with my behavior vs, the INFP description. 

The differences between Fe and Fi are rather confusing too until I did further reading.

What made it hard for me to understand emotions is that they behave like the "weather". I feel them indirectly but they effect me. They are part of the atmosphere of my consciousness, but they don't become me (unless they reach a crisis level). If people around me are upset, then it will effect the "weather" too.  If I'm not in self analyzing mode I'll miss this important detail and end up wondering why my mood is the way it is, or more specifically why I acted out of character. Usually it is the thoughts and actions I notice first before I notice the emotion.

My emotions tend to get expressed through action. When people come to me with problems, I'll listen, but my focus tends to be what can I do to help them to move on. If they just want to dwell in their upset, then I get drained and start looking for an exit. But if it requires action, then I'll try to help. One real life example was with a lady who was visibly cold (it can be brutal here in the upper midwest), so I directed her to the closest indoor waiting space near the bus stop.  She came out and tried to catch the bus. The driver turned her down and she returned to the bus stop bewildered, and upset with how to get to her destination. She had a few issues understanding the driver and interpreted what he said to her as an insult against herself, her accent, and her identity. She felt discriminated against. At least that was the read I got off her as she expressed how upset she was about the driver sending her away.

I could have listen to her and sympathized with her, but my thoughts quickly turned to action. (The real problem is that she needs to get somewhere and to make sure she makes whatever connection it takes to get there is the best solution.) After expressing how rude that was of the driver, I asked her questions relating to her destination. She's upset at the bus service, so I called the bus service and expressed her complaint and stated the intersection she needed to be.  I found out from the bus service she needed to wait across the street in a different stop. I directed her to where she needs to wait to catch the next bus. She left feeling much happier knowing where to go. That is more less my style of helping someone. If I can't put it to positive action, then I'll feel a bit lost.

Mysterious_Girl (not verified) says...

Wow. I cannot believe there are people out there just like me...I always thought I was a misunderstood freak. Reading your comments made me feel normal, Draco. Being an "INFJ" explains everything now. I always used to wonder why I never fit in, no matter how hard I tried. I am a loner at heart too. As I got older, I learned to accept that. I am glad to have learned such amazing thing about myself. 

TheINFJsoul (not verified) says...

In my experience INFJ’s are the best at being like Mary Poppins. They come into peoples lives when they need it most, teach the people how to view life in a magical and productive way, then fly off to help someone else in need. She doesn’t  maintain  intimate relationships with them because if she did they would rely on her and not each other and also she couldn’t effectively help other people that need her.

I think that when INFJ’s need deep relationships their best bet is to turn inward.  Understand yourself. Listen to and solve your own problems. We have the ability to do that because we understand other people’s lives and can learn from them and teach ourselves. Also, having surface “friends” can be good because you can have a good time with them and they won’t wear you out.

Doejoe (not verified) says...

It feels nice to have people who feel as I do. I have been told that I'm an old soul and I completely agree. 

LivingToo! (not verified) says...

wow who’d have thought that I’d find others like myself after all these years of being isolated and misunderstood (even by my own family!)... I sometimes feel like an alien, or something. Lonely? No but there are those times when I wish I had someone to share with- I have somewhat given up on that tho. It’s not that important unless God sees fit to provide. I have made too many mistakes trying to make something out of nothing. I have recently decided that I will no longer allow myself to become bitter towards other people because they don’t get me. Who cares! No one gets to hurt me or deceive me unless I allow it and I won’t. I am still searching for whatever it is that God wants me to do in this life with this personality and all of its flaws- or gifts... people are going to continue to be people no matter what. If I am in the one percentile then that just means that I have to be more understanding of the majority. I like being different anyway:)!! Eccentric. Weird. Crazy. Judgmental. Mental. Psycho. Scary. Too deep. Over-thinker. Oh there’s more but I just laugh now at the scoffers because I know that there is something better out there for me if I just keep plugging away and do what I do best- be me and live life to the best of my ability with what I’ve been given. I must be special or I wouldn’t be in the one percentile (of every freakin test I take lol!!)... I am enjoying the postings on here but I hope that we can encourage and lift each other up rather than commiserate and turn it into pity party. We are better than that... (not saying anyone is doing that either- just saying)!

rubina369 (not verified) says...

Omg ... Its so heartwarming to read about people having the Same mindset like i am ... yes i Definitely can relate to the lonesome catlady at the mountaintop beeing satisfied by a cozy fireplace inside a wooden cabinhatch while just beeing surrounded by a few animals and a good selection of some interesting Books or at least a reasonably Internet excess ... Converting Loneliness into a peaceful lonesome excursion into your innerself by experiencing the past present and Future friendships by asking oneself if everything was is will be worth it ... And yes for sure it was is and will be because of our nature for helping each other with pure confident and understanding oneanother ... Even So may be the outcome might be disappointing at First sight but therefore the income from another person might be worth the try again and again having faith and Trust in the universe to put everything into ones favor if needed the Most ... Expect the worst so there is always enough room for the better to come ...

staceyS (not verified) says...

Its ironic and humorous for me now that I know I am an INFJ- my older sister always jabbed at me being diffferent and "something wrong with me".... I am proud I am one. Explains a lot. I have always been this way. Need to find a group of folk who are the same. Feel the same.

AmVat (not verified) says...

I don't understand why speech-pathologist is even on here. This is a profession that involves working with and speaking to many people especially of different professions such as doctors, nurses, occupational therapists, psychologists, etc. if you're planning to go into medical speech pathology. I majored in speech pathology and the grad clinicians I observed during my undergrad had bubbly and outgoing personalities especially if they were planning to work with children. I've heard of introverted grad SLPs who've shared that it was always a "fake it till you make it" fiasco where they had to fake their "bubbliness." You can choose to work with the adult population but that's mainly in the medical setting and hospitals are hectic, noisy, busy environments that I don't think INFJ types can truly thrive and be successful in. This is just my opinion, but I've heard of introverted INFJ SLPs who said they've are doing OK in this profession. 

Yamila Perdomo (not verified) says...

Thanks. Seemed like fun. Funny with the test, where it seem almost creepy like, as if; Dude, how did you know! Insightful indeed, with the kind of personally overall what I'm like as a person. Thanks. What truth and insightful information. Thanks.

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