The 'Leave My Man Alone' Phone Call, Here’s Why You Should Never Make It

By Chisimdi's blog - March 18, 2019

Unless it's an open relationship or otherwise agreed, cheating deals hard blows to relationships. It can turn a usually amazing affair to an ugly complication. 

Besides, cheating is too easy, too average. I’m a superwoman and I want me a superman. Not some man twinning with the rest of the lot! If you are like everyone else, I can pick another you with my eyes closed, what's the point of sticking with you then? 

If your man cheats on you, you can go from young beauty chasing her career to psycho that needs to be locked up in rehab. You can pretend nothing happened and leave him before he says Jack without telling him why (lowkey sounds like something I can do). You can even rain down all the insults in your head on him in Queen’s English and dump him afterwards. Do anything depending on what you guys have and how it hit you but you know something you should rather cut off your left breast than do? Call the chick he’s cheating with or attempt to confront her. 

Stalk her if you will, to see what the catch is and what it is he saw in her but reach out to her? Cuss her out? Threaten your ancestors will snatch the life out of her? Ask for a venue to meet and fight? That, Nzotta Chisimdi (don’t tell me you don’t know my name), will never do.

Sadly, not a lot of women think this way. Here's the order it often goes; 'Main chic' has tried everything to make him stop cheating and since he won’t, she has to show the 'side chic' (whose fault it is for seducing him in the first place) who the boss is. She quickly dials her number when the community penis is not around and tells her to leave her man alone making sure she sounds as tough as possible to instill the fear of God in her. She may decide to accompany the, ‘leave my man alone’ with he loves me, we are getting married soon, I’m pregnant with his child, he’s only using you, or some other line to well, mark her territory and show her who the boss is. 

Pause. Here are reasons why you should never be that woman who calls the woman (or man) her man is cheating on her with threatening her, telling her to leave him alone or even telling her anything at all;

1. It’s low

Girl, I don’t know how you think or see things but that act is low, plain low. If you could watch yourself doing it, you’d be super embarrassed if you had some self-respect and decency. It’s low to call a total stranger fighting about a man, a damn man! It’s disrespectful to her and to yourself. Save your dignity, don’t! Rhianna sang, 'men be falling like the rain so we aren't running out!' and I can't agree more! Why fight for a rotten orange when you can get a basket of freshly plucked ones?

2. It’s your community penis man you should have a conversation with

It’s he who owes you fidelity and is expecting same from you. It’s he you are in the relationship or marriage with. It’s he who took everything you both have for granted and did it. It's he who hurt you. It’s he who didn’t stop to consider the consequences of his actions. It’s he who made it happen. It's he who let it happen. It's he who owes you everything dammit!

Have a fit, conversation or whatever with him alone. Leave the other woman out. Unless you have a personal relationship with her, she owes you nothing. Not even an apology for screwing your man!

3 She might not know

Stopped to think that that woman you are bad mouthing, the one you have set a table on top her matter in the presence of your friends, the one whose head you’ve threatened to make a footstool and whose destiny you’ve threatened to destroy might not even know he is in a relationship let alone with a wacko like you?

With cheating comes the gift of smooth lying preinstalled. I don’t know how but that is how it works. Chances are that he is telling her he’s single and or you are a horrible person and your relationship/marriage is headed for the rocks. 

Call the community penis and leave her out!

4 It’s not even a solution

After you’ve called her and threatened thunder and brimstone, what next? If you think it’d make him have eyes for only you, you think wrong. Most times, it doesn’t even put the other woman off. Some people love challenges so she might just go, ‘bring it on!’

A solution is leaving a man who cheated on you, staying with him and working things out, accepting you can deal with a cheating partner, going for therapy or counseling with him, anything but confronting the other chick who might even be off to the next man.

5. Fills you with so much hate 

I don’t have enemies. I like to think there are people who are not my friends or are no longer my friends but never enemies. You know why? It gives me joy, it makes me sleep at night, it gives me freedom. I may not like a person but your sure bet is that I do not hate them. I can’t burden myself with hate. Freedom is too sweet.

There’s no way in the world you are on ecstasy when you call her. You are filled with rage, you want to devour her, to tear her apart, to get from her what she has stolen, to make her feel as bad as she has made you feel.

All that is too much for too little result. Let it go, put the phone down, be free.

I hope this read was useful. What are your thoughts? Have you ever been in a situation like this or something similar? Let me know in the comment section! For me, I've never been in this situation. My life isn't so interesting. LOL

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  1. I have received the phone call before. I can't forget that day. Sometime in June 2018 at 3am, my phone rang.

    I was so depressed sha. Talk to your husband or your boyfriend. I was sha not dating the guy, but after the call, I cut him off completely. I don't even greet him again.

  2. You couldn't have said it better. It's so damn low. Once received such call from a lady i had so much respect for. I didn't just loose all the respect i had for her but i was this close to frustrating her by playing around with her "man"(whom i wasn't even having anything with in the first place). Thank God for God.