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For the Greek philosopher, see Testiclēs.

“Attention Uncyclopedia readers. Testicles. That is all.”

“What's happenin' forum? Joe Biden's testicles. That is all.”

~ Ray William Johnson



Two squeezable, oval-shaped balls are packaged in close proximity to one another inside a sack, known as the scrotum. Testicles come in a variety of colored pouches, including tan, bronze, chocolate, coffee, off-coffee, brown, black, cornsilk, yellow, pink, red, and blue, band-aid color, khaki, and poo, but only when an admirer fails to relieve the testicles themselves. Have you ever questioned balls? Like, if you look at balls you see the sack and then think what about the balls? Then you think to seem...I mean semen...are balls seemingly filled semen balls? Or are they the balls of life? Or death?

Instructions for use[edit]

To alleviate stress and anxiety, the user manipulates the balls through the silky pouch, rolling them together or in opposite directions, kneading them lightly, or jiggling them. Manufacturers suggest that users resist the impulse to bounce the balls because they are not made of rubber and could be damaged if too much force is applied to them.

Uses and benefits[edit]


