Do you find yourself losing control of your temper? Are you losing friends because you overreact to common situations? Anger is a normal human emotion. It is the way you release mental and emotional pressure. Sometimes this normal psychological function can run amok and lead you astray.

Getting angry is NOT the problem. It’s what you DO when you’re angry that can cause you problems. Nothing can MAKE you angry. You CHOOSE anger and the intensity of your anger as a response to external stimuli. You are responsible for your emotional choice and how you express it, not the external stimuli.

Recognizing and managing anger is relative easy, here’s how!

Your anger is out of control if…

  • you find yourself getting angry at everything that inconveniences you, annoys you or otherwise gets in the way of what you want to do,
  • it leads you to behave aggressively or violently as in yelling, ranting, hitting, shoving or plotting revenge,
  • it consumes you long after the event has passed.  If you dwell on the things that result in you getting angry, then you’re in trouble because normal anger is only a temporary emotional response to unsettling external stimuli,
  • you didn’t used to get angry at things that are now major issues and worthy of a rant. In this case, it’s the intensity of the anger that’s causing problems,
  • you find yourself doing self-destructive things to manage your angry feelings, such as reckless driving, hazardous recreation activities, physical fighting, drugs and alcohol or unsafe or random sexual activity.

You can manage that anger by…

  • recognizing the difference between an annoyance or inconvenience or inconvenience and a bona fide reason to get mad-somebody hurting you, hurting somebody you care about, or damaging your property are all good reasons to get mad.  Somebody “disrespecting” you, getting in our way, slowing you down, being luckier than you, or doing something better than you should not create an intense anger reaction,
  • taking a deep breath, stepping away from the situation and asking yourself, “Why am I really mad? Often people misdirect anger caused by a valid yet bigger issue on to everyday annoyances or inconveniences,
  • know your triggers. If there are certain things that you know bother you or that you can’t accept, know what they are, take steps to avoid them, and play out an appropriate reaction in your head when you’re feeling clam.  This will train our mind to react in a more appropriate way when a real-life problem arises,
  • plan your time wisely. One of the most common anger stressors is poor time management. When you’re in a rush and something slows you own even more, you are more likely to react with anger. The simplest way to avoid this is to exercise effective time management,
  • exercising regularly helps to de-stress the body and mind.  People who exercise regularly are less likely to overreact to annoyances and inconveniences,
  • talk it out. Reacting in anger often causes the reasoning center of the brain to shut off for a time and the way you can turn it back on is to talk rather than act out when anger takes hold. It may sound crazy, but taking a few minutes to gather you thoughts and speaking them out loud can do wonders to diffuse an angry situation.