Personal Development

5 Types of Narcissists and How to Spot Them

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Steven Aitchison
Written by Steven Aitchison

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"Narcissistic personality  disorder is named after Narcissus, from Greek mythology, who  fell in love with his own  reflection. Freud used the term to describe persons who were self-absorbed, and psychoanalysts have focused on the narcissist's need to bolster his or her self-esteem through grandiose fantasy, exaggerated ambition, exhibitionism, and feelings of entitlement," wrote  Donald W. Black

It seems nowadays that everyone's ex is a narcissist and it's only after the fact of splitting up, which is hard to do, that a lot of men and women realise this.

Predominantly the trait of narcissism is a male trait, but is not exclusive to males.   For this article we will will use the male narcissist as an example, but as I said this pertains to both men and women.

The narcissist is charming, funny, great company but at the end of the day it's all about him.

5 Types of Narcissists and How to Spot Them

The Cheater

The cheater narcissist is by his very nature a liar and a master manipulator.   His cheating behaviour will be explained away quite easily for them and rationalised in their own minds.   They feel that their love and affection should be shared and not be exclusive to one person.   When caught cheating, of course, they will be sorry, they'll tell you how much they love you and they'll never do it again, but don't be fooled.

How to spot the cheater narcissist

As you get to know them you will notice they have a lot of female friends, some of them ex girlfriends.   You might think they are just such a nice guy that his ex's want to stay in touch with him.   This is not the case.   The cheater needs a lot of love and attention and loves how he can get it from his army of friends who adore him.

The Victim

The victim narcissist  is sly and cunning and uses emotion and affection to manipulate their partners.   He will convince you that everyone is to blame for everything bad that has happened in his life and will not take responsibility for anything.    They use guilt and blame to get what they want in life and will even ask friends and family for support and handouts.   He will become deeply hurt if he does not get his own way and blames you for not being able to solve his problems.

How to spot the victim narcissist

Oh you will know them when you see and hear them.   They are energy drainers and will suck your energy dry if you don't get rid of them.   Any problem you have in your life is nothing compared to the problems he has, he will always be much worse off than everyone else.   His self pity and constant riding of the 'poor me' train will eventually piss you off enough to leave him.

The Entitled

The entitled narcissist feels that he not only deserves to have everything he wants but is actually entitled to it.   This includes respect, money, fame and fortune. He will break rules, and will refuse to live by the rules.   When faced with having to deal with the consequences of his actions he will turn it around so it is never his fault, stating that someone is out to get him. They will also treat others with contempt as he feels he is better than them in every way and will not acknowledge others strengths.   The world belongs to them and everyone in it is there for his needs.

How to spot the entitled narcissist.

You will spot this type a mile away just by the way they look down at you.   He will laugh at your achievements and boost more about how his achievements outrank yours.

Any conversation you have with him will always be focused on him, and if it's not he becomes disinterested, or turns the conversation around to make it about him.   His actions and disregard for rules might amuse you at first but you'll soon realise he truly believes people should kneel before him.

The Bully

The bully narcissist makes himself feel better by putting others down and controlling the 'weaker' people in his life. He often relies on contemptuous behaviour to make other people in his life feel like a loser and shows how he is the winner.   He will belittle and mock you, and when he needs something from you, he may become threatening. At his worst, he will manipulate you into feeling emotionally insecure and make you doubt your decisions, and make you doubt your value as human being.

How to spot the bully narcissist

The bully narcissist will take any form of criticism as an act of aggression and will try to belittle you at every opportunity.   He has a long list and a long memory for people who 'threaten' his self image.   This is due to the fact that his self image is so fragile.   If you're in a relationship with a narcissist like this, you'll end up walking on eggshells constantly. You never know what's going to set them off.   He will often fly off the handle for no apparent reason, making you feel a little intimidated and even scared.

The Charmer

The charmer narcissist is unlike the other types in that he will often praise you and make you feel good about yourself.   He will manipulate you into liking him and following him and he uses his charm to do this.   However beware, as when he no longer requires your admiration he will drop you and act as if you didn't exist in his world.   If you have any issues with him, the charmer will turn it around to make it look like it's you that has the problem and he'll talk his way around you.

How to spot the charmer narcissist

The charmer seems to know what you want and he seems to 'get you' and it's very seductive to have someone like that in your life.   However you are there for a purpose and that is to stroke his ego.   He will go through a phase of seducing you and making you like or even love him, but once the seduction phase is over, then it's time for him to back off.   If you bring up this behaviour to him he will talk his way around you and make you believe it's you that has the problem and you that needs to sort yourself out.

Have you come across these types of narcissists before?

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Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison


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