Date of the Dead

Story Sent in by Doug:

Donna arrived at the dimly lit restaurant wearing enough eyeliner to choke a moose. The result was scary. I asked her if she had had a good day and she said she had. She didn't seem too communicative and I carried most of the conversation. Yeah, we were off to a great start.

She ordered a tiny appetizer for her meal. As I was planning to pay for it, I told her, "You can order whatever you want. Don't limit yourself on my account."

To that she replied, "Have you ever died?"

I hadn't. "No."

"I have. Twice."

"That's... really great."

"Wanna see?"


"I'll show you after dinner."

We waited for our food in silence, ate in silence, and I paid the check in silence. We walked out of the restaurant together. Once outside, she broke into a run clear across the parking lot, down the road, and out of sight.

Since then, I still haven't died, although I'd guess that any hope that girl ever had for a normal life probably went belly-up a long time ago.


  1. Um, I think she meant your hair. She obviously worked for a hair and beauty salon. You should have waited for her, as I'm sure she was running home to grab her die....erm....dye kit.

  2. Donna: Ohmygawd, it was so cute I just died, I literally died!! No, no, OMG, Becky, that's Chad looking over here....he must think I'm some preschool Lisa Frank collecting baby. I am literally dying right now.....[sob] I died twice in one day.

  3. Since when did choking a moose become a unit of measurement?

  4. ^ Right after two shits, and a fuck.

  5. Clearly, she was bored with him and wanted out...Gosh the things people will say/do to get rid of a date!



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