Tuesday, October 05, 2010

making it about us

Relationships are hard, they ebb and flow they get crossed up in the cross hairs of arguments, laughter, communications and silence.

Marriages fall into that category, except perhaps they are a bit more complicated because you add this layer of intimacy or rather many layers of intimacy. It is a sacred friendship, one that you don't have with your parents, your siblings or your friends, it is a different creature..

So when your marriage is rocked or when your world is broken, how can you deal? How do you deal?

Right now, things are rough. Our world has been rocked, our life turned on its head and we are trying to each figure out what to do.

I came very close so close to walking away. That would have been the easy thing to do. But when something means so much to you, you fight. The things that matter are worth fighting for. And regardless of the outcome, we tried and we fought to stay together, to rebuild.

He and I want to become "us" again. It is not going to be simple nor quick but we want "us" back and are each willing to fight for "us" to exist.

We started therapy tonight and I feel a bit better. I have some glimmer of hope that this hiccup in our relationship will make us stronger. There will be a lot of work to do, more tears to be shad, thoughts to be thought. But we can only try to make "us" whole again.

I wanted to thank you for all your support. The comments, text messages, calls and email were so appreciated. When you go through this, you can easily feel isolated and alone but, I feel connected to you all and I thank you. It means so much!

I am also keeping the cause of this rough patch to myself (our self) I consider it a part of what we have to deal with and want to work on it rather than expose it. Maybe one day I will but for now, it is the catalyst to change.


radioactive girl said...

I think you are doing just the right thing. If you both are willing to work at it, things can improve and you can both be happy. Good luck! I am thinking good thoughts for you!

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

I've always been a firm believer that you never know the strength of a relationship until you deal with a crisis. It's a good sign to me that you're both willing to work on what's wrong and rebuild to a good place again. Thinking of you...

kilax said...

I am happy that you are working on getting things back to "us" - although "us" may change, if you work on it together, it will be a good change.

KT said...

I think that too often these days people are willing to throw away their relationships when things get hard. I think that it's great that you guys are working on it and going to therapy. I hope that things can improve soon!!

Kaylen said...

Best of luck to you both! It is hard to remember what was once there when you are feeling so lost...
Therapy is a good move. It's just so hard to work through things like this on your own-it's hard to set your emotions aside and just work through things.

Keep your chin up. Things will get better over time!