Monday, April 26, 2010

"Get a Garage!"

One of the most unintentionally hilarious moments of the putrid Star Wars prequels which littered the landscape throughout the turn of the century featured what I guess was supposed to be a "touching" scene between Natalie Portman and everyone's favorite overexposed adorable "droid," R2D2. If I remember correctly, the rolling trash compactor performed some pre-programmed function adequately, earning a preposterous gushing "thank you" from Portman's character- something along the lines of "we commend this R2 unit...." I can only guess that later scenes featuring Padme decorating a microwave and bestowing the Iron Cross on a toaster were cut due to time constraints. Anyway, watching a human expressing gratitude to a compilation of wires and light bulbs was funny for all the wrong reasons, and one of the few genuinely entertaining moments in the ill-advised second trilogy.

Which brings us to this commercial for Subaru. A solemn-looking guy pulls into the junkyard in a brand-new white Subaru, parking next to what clearly used to be an identical model which has been in a very bad accident. "A Subaru saved my life" our hero muses, as he looks over the mangled car, removes a journal of some sort, and then, apparently on a whim, twists the gear shift knob and takes it with him.

"I won't forget that" he concludes as he drives off with his memento. (Please note that as he's walking back toward his new car, he's putting the gear shift knob in his pocket. But then we see it sitting on the front seat next to the journal. Continuity Much, Subaru?)

Considering that he went out and bought an exact copy of the Car that Saved His Life, I'm willing to take this guy at his word- he Won't Forget That, Ever. I can see this idiot getting into bar fights with people who dare to casually insult Japanese cars. Or ask him why he's wearing a gear shift knob on a chain around his neck.

I was involved in a bad accident in my old Honda Civic DX some years back. It, too, was totaled. I suppose that one reason I wasn't badly hurt was because the car was engineered to protect the driver in the event of a crash. When I went to the junkyard to retrieve a few belongings from the trunk, it didn't even occur to me to pry off a piece of my soon-to-be-crushed car as a reminder of the day a drunken asshole slammed into me while I was waiting at a stop sign. I guess I'm just not that sentimental- in retrospect, I should have written a eulogy and taken a hubcap, at least.

What's this guy really going to do with that knob, anyway?

1 comment:

  1. I'd as soon not know what he's going to do with it; the possibilities are all fairly disquieting.