the soundtrack of our life


Cuneo, Terence Tenison, 1907-1996; Veteran Crossing a French Railway




We incessantly create a running commentary to the events in our life. These dialogs with ourself that are like mental subtitles that explain to us what we are doing and keep reminding us of the current storyline we are experiencing in order to keep us “on track”.

New age culture delivers us through the internet a plethora of “reasons” for why we are feeling like we do: “sun flares are strong today, and they are earth-facing. They should be reaching us tomorrow by 5.” “An amazingly strong portal was opened up by the partial lunar eclipse yesterday that was in conjunction with an alignment of celestial bodies that hasn’t occurred like this in 347 years.” “I am in the process of letting go of some deep trauma from lifetimes where I was the victim.” “Earth’s ascension process is at a critical point and all starseeds will be feeling the impact.” “The events happening here in community are evidence of the microcosm in the macrocosm; this is exactly what is happening out in the big world. Everything that is not of love is being mercilessly revealed.” “My belief in the mortality of  my body is my deeply held belief that I am a victim, and letting go of this belief and allowing the healing chambers of the Pleiadians to do their work is challenging the last bastion of my ego. That I why I have this health disorder.” On and on goes the running commentary that keeps me on the track of “not stopping” to see what I can know of myself, free of all these concepts.


All of these questions and thoughts may be useful and may deserve our attention. Many other thoughts are not useful and should be ignored in order for me to get a bead on the true nature of this beingness. If I keep sugar-coating it and running to some imagined “sweetness” in order to distract myself from the pain of this beingness when it pulls away from its source, I will never be able to follow the track of this beingness and find how it appears and where it comes from. If I can to this primordial pain it can lead me to where and how this all started. Sometimes this pain, this misery, appears as a deep sadness for which there doesn’t seem to be a clear reason.


This statement runs counter to all current myths that are propagated to have us believe that we can make this life into heaven on earth without going to the inception point of the beingness. If we do not reach the inception point we cannot truly transcend the beingness but only coat it with another layer of imagined ‘sweetness’ which covers up its true nature and distracts us from facing its reality. To transcend means to include and rise above the limitations of something. If we do not want acknowledge the limitations of this state of beingness then we will continually distract ourselves from diving deeper to its source, which is prior to being and non-being.


Useful questions: What is this beingness? Where does it come from and how does it appear? What is its source? Is it a reality or is it part of the ever-changing phenomenal world. Is there a changeless constant and how can I know it?


Can I be aware – first thing upon awakening – that I am still in the state of pure “I am” without further attributes? There is only this one attribute: “I am”. When it may occur by grace that I am aware of this state, I am in upeksa (near to the energy of pure seeing without any expectation and full of patience). This is a state of resting in the ground of being and in that state I partake of the quality of the changeless constant.


Then the pull of beingness is felt and the almost instantaneous velcroing on to images/thoughts occurs: I move to a different position that brings more body awareness. I feel my body consciously and I feel: “I am the body”. From that state follows the whole chain of the above soundtrack of my life. This narrative of the mind is sourced exclusively from memory, from the past: it is conditioned consciousness. If I can keep myself vigilant and watch for the slight breaks in the narrative of the body-mind, then I will be able to take advantage of those breaks and allow the visceral awareness of the changeless constant to arise.


I must recognize that the narrative of realizing myself in the realm of the phenomenal world is born of the state of hypnosis. The Phenomena are ephemeral and can never satisfy my hunger. The craving for phenomena is born of the hunger of the mind and that is delusion. Any desire I fulfill on that level only leads to another desire and another, more and more and stronger and stronger sensory/mental/emotional input into the system of beingness that then creates more craving. The only way out is within.


If this kind of article is not your cup of tea, I hope you stopped reading further above so that I didn’t spoil your day 😉 .










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