Vicariously Disabled.



I’m still not sure whether it was his fault.








Tguiwtya was not in the back of the ballroom.



I wondered if he was going to make it.




I almost screamed.


Then I saw Tguiwtya’s friends, crooking their necks at me.

Did I want to make a scene?











But I remember.

I learned something that day.

I hope I learned to listen.

1 Comment

  1. Morgan J. Allgood
    Jun 27, 2017

    As another disabled person, I thoroughly identify. Life doesn’t end when you have a disability, you still want to do the things you enjoy, often even more because it serves as a distraction and often a reason to keep on keeping on. That said, it takes more effort, and you don’t want to be a bother because when folks see you as a bother to accommodate they drift away. So one does one’s best to soldier on and play n0rmal while others seem to have blinders on to the difficulties even if they are in the know. Or, on the other hand, they will set you on a pedestal and call you brave and a hero just because you are living your life and doing the stuff ordinary people do. Meanwhile, one wishes for a middle ground of just treat me as a person, and respect and make reasonable allowances for my limitations.

    I fully identify with the invisibility aspect, too. For one, people’s eyes tend to be focused on what is 4 to 7 feet from the ground, depending on the individual’s height, straight in front of them. They do not perceive anything lower than that until they run into you or step on your service animal, or you project your voice and make them look down — this I often have to do when trying to get a clerk or customer service person to notice and assist me in the store and not skip me over even though I’m obviously next in line.

    Am I bitter? Not a bit. Often frustrated, yes, but it (both disability and people) is what it is. Disability gets put into the “This is life and crap happens,” pile and I do my best to live my life and stay positive. And people, people are just doing their best and yes, it can get frustrating for the bus drivers (who often don’t like having to take the extra time to lower the ramp, lift the front seats, and strap in me and my wheelchair, much less deal with the service dog I have along with me) and other service people that one runs into in daily life, to friends and family, but again this is just part of life and crap happens, and I do my best to appreciate them, be positive and cheerful, and show gratitude to them who are present. I say “Thank you,” more now with a physical disability than I did before that, and say it with more heart than I did before.
