By Shelby Strah

Seriously though.

1. They’re not nearly as needy, unless you have a spoiled rotten OTTB like me, but that still doesn’t compare.

2. They do what you ask when you ask it 9 times out of 10, except for the minor attitude explosions when you’re trying to teach them shoulder-in and haunches-in.

3. They’re relatively low maintenance. Two meals a day that you don’t have to cook, groom and ride a few times a week… that’s the gist (not including vet bills, farrier bills, chiropractic bills, board, lesson, and show costs, but that falls under Reason #5).

4. You can dress them in whatever you want without any backlash. Hey, you want your 17.2hh gelding to have hot pink as a cross country color? You can do that and they’ll never know (evil laugh).

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5. You will have just as many opportunities to spend your money on them as you would if you had a kid. For horse owners, you can never have too many saddle pads, boots, or blankets, and hey, you need that matching bonnet as well. Or for me, I recently had my Vet out to do a consult and ended up taking X-rays of his hocks because $60 just wasn’t enough.

6. You don’t have to pay for a wedding because horses don’t get married. Although, sometimes I wish I could marry my horse (also contemplating writing about having horses instead of boyfriends).

7. You can get a new one whenever you please (I think a lot of parents may be regretting not having horses instead due to this reason).

8. You will have plenty of “proud parent” moments to account for your lack of children. For me, this happens every time I get my stubborn OTTB onto the trailer.

While there are plenty of other reasons I could add to this list, these just about sum it up.