Murphy's Law

The NCBF Nutcase Top 100 List

1. You should have been here yesterday.
2. I knew I should have put on new line.
3. I don't have that color of worm.
4. I should have weighed my fish.
5. You had a big fish option pot?
6. I'm pretty sure I charged the batteries.
7. I think I put the plug in.
8. I'll buy that license next week. I never see a warden.
9. I'm sure the weigh-in is at _____.
10. We'll just have to get gas on the water.
11. Don't bother with your rain suit. The weatherman said there isn't a chance of rain.
12. I thought you were bringing the beer.
13. The hooks are always sharp right out of the box!
14. Talking to insurance adjuster: "But, it was just a twig sticking outta the water!"
15. Close the lake? I just bought a yearly pass.
16. Should have got in the options.
17. While looking down at your trolling motor only to find your jig is no longer close to shore and it's now under the boat. Where's my jig?
18. That was the only buzz bait that I had like it. Sound familiar Pat?
19. Hey no problem its just a fuse, you have one in the boat right?
20. Hey Angel, let's use my boat for the Top Six, it has a bigger deck, is running great and super dependable!
21. Hey Jean, wouldn't our pond look nice with a bunch of cute little baby ducks swimming around the tulles?
22. I don't think there are any pre-fish off-limits.
23. Forget the net! I'll just swing her in the boat!
24. At the launch ramp on Saturday and Sunday, there is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
25. Buy a new motor! Watch the sponsors call!
26. I'll re-tie the knot to my lure after this cast.
27. You did count BEFORE you culled that bass didn't you? (eh, Cooch?)
28. The best lure or color is the one you just lost your only one of...
29. That strike you have been concentrating for came just when your back seater asks you to look at something...
30. You FINALLY locate the bite, and your wife or daughter says they need to use the restroom!
31. Your NCBF friends in CA send you baby brush hogs to try in pre-fish, and you tear up the bite, and the only four hogs they send you...
32. You fly to your vacation destination for that long awaited fishing trip of a lifetime...and your luggage MAKES IT...but your rod case DOESN'T!
33. You’re rushing to the airport after the Viper to catch the last flight of the day and your window on your rental car shatters for no reason...
34. You're launching alone and you remembered to tie the rope to the BOAT. But, just as the boat floats off the trailer, you realize you forgot to tie to...
35. You are 3 minutes from the weigh-in with 5 minutes to go, Reach down to pull up the Troller and the rope breaks!
36. You are 3 minutes from the weigh-in with 5 minutes to go, turn the key and the motor goes EEeerrrr!
37. You are launching with just a few minutes to go before blast off, and your partner locks the keys in the truck, on the ramp, with the motor running.
38. "The main channel won't be that rough, we got plenty of time!"
39. "It's a six fish limit right?" to the West Coast weighmaster.
40. It is 35 degrees, raining; 40-mph winds and your draw partners fish are a 25-mile run up river.
41. Fishing Clear Lake launching from Redbud, your partner has fish in Rodamn, launching from Lakeport his fish are in Cache Creek.
42. Got a boat full of 2.5 pounders, been stroken em all day. Looking for that kicker. 5 minutes before weigh in, ya get that big KERTHUNK! Set and nothing! Pull that jig outa the water and a 10 pounder comes flyin by and misses that jig again!
43. You find out, after you blast of and run 35 miles, that last night’s dinner and this morning’s coffee, don't mix!
44. If it is the last day of pre-fish, the 10 pounder catches the jig and hooks herself solid!
45. Last day of practice, discover a killer bite in the Marina at Big Break. Go to draw and get boat # 245 out, your launching at Ladds!
46. Discover a killer bite in every marina, behind the gas dock, you’re fishing a Redman! It's off limits.
47. Same thing at Shasta, toads are stacked in the Marinas for team TOC, you’re in WCB, and all Marinas are off limits!
48. Find a killer big fish bite for a big tournament on Friday practice, temperature drops 12 degrees overnight! (Or lake level drops 2 feet.)
49. And what about all those poor souls who took today off to go fishing, I won't miss nuthin at NCBF today!
50. You GET the BIG bite 10 minutes before weigh-in! Its a Striper, salmon, carp, squawfish, trout... that takes you 5 minutes to land, and it's got your best bait in its mouth!
51. Night before your biggest tournament ever, you set three additional alarms, only to have a power failure 5 minutes before they go off!
52. Day 1 of tournament, make a gut feeling call and get on em big time, lead the tournament. Day 2 return to same spot and never get bit!
53. Catch a measly 12 pound limit on the Delta, decide to skip the weigh-in... and find out later 11 pounds WON IT!
54. You've just won your first pro tournament and a new boat, while fishing out of the boat ya bought just last week.
55. I'll just dead-stick this worm while I take a quick whiz off the back of the boat.
56. Hang on! I know I can jump the cruiser wake!
57. Boy am I glad my new reel has that "instant reverse", anti-backlash system. No more bird's nests for me!
58. Go ahead and cut through there, I'm sure it's plenty deep enough.
59. Once you get on your best spot someone dropped the flag marking the start of the jet ski races!
60. You forget to check the alarm clock TWO weeks in a row! (grin)
61. Sorry, I dropped your new flippin' stick over the side of the boat.
62. Naw, he won’t run between us and the bank!
63. Just as you're halfway through peeing, you notice the two young ladies sunbathing, behind the rock on the bank.
64. You've got enough weight to win, then you inadvertently discover that if you drop a whole bottle of "Please Release Me" into the livewell, the fish will O.D!
65. Now, where'd I put that toilet paper?
66. (Night before a tournament) "Well, okay, just one more beer!"
67. You release all your drags after every outing. Today, your first fish is a real toad and you "set" the hook for all you're worth!
68. Your boater invites you to share the front deck because "there's plenty of room up here" and proceeds to imbed his trailer hook in the back of your neck on his next cast.
69. You finally get drawn as the FIRST boat out! (And it’s on a lake you never fished before and don't have a spot).
70. You finally draw the club pro as your boater. Then he tells you he's never even seen the lake you're fishing.
71. Net! NET! NET! What do ya mean you can't extend the handle on that net! I got a 7 pounder on here!
72. When it comes to scents, length of boat, horsepower of motor, number of rods and reels or amount of tackle.... If a little is good, more is better and too much is just right!
73. That jig's stuck good. I'll just turn the trolling motor on high and break that 20lb Big Game line!
74. The size of your boat is inversely proportional to the size of your partner, and his tackle box.
75. Can't sign up for the first every BASS tournament circuit which opens on the Delta, due to work has a trip to Mexico is scheduled. Sign up to fish and win the Redman, which is during the BASS off limits. Find out that Monday, your trip to Mexico canceled!
76. If it is a hot bright day, you will lose your hat.
77. It is an exceptionally cold day; you will lose your gloves.
78. If you can't get your lure loose from shoreline brush by shaking, pulling, jerking etc. The bush will be poison oak.
79. The closer to the shore you go to unsnag a bait, the bigger the wake is that cruiser coming around the corner is pushing.
80. The bigger the fish is that you have barely hooked on a 3 treble rip bait, the more likely that your partners bait is deeply snagged in the net on the floor of the boat.
81. No matter which bank you are fishing, the sun will be in your face.
82. The wind will blow.
83. The 9 pounder that missed your topwater 3 times will completely swallow your partners bait on the first hit. (Ask Bobby B)
84. If it is a hot sunny day, you will forget your hat!
85. If it is an exceptionally cold day, your gloves will fall in the livewell!
86. The one day your wife shows up for the weigh-in you go fishless!
87. The one time you take your kid fishing in a tournament, (true story both kids) you win. They then will never fish another one!
88. Make the perfect pitch in the smallest, tightest place imaginable, overspin!
89. "I don't care if it's 5 lbs., I am not stickin' my thumb in that Gammie-infested mouth.
90. "I'll just use the trolling motor to pull the fish over to the guy with the net. I'll go real slow."
91. Turn your head to look at the bank or tulle, while running, and your only pair of polarized sunglasses flies off to never-never land.
92. There is that acid/ heart burning feeling and no anti-acid.
93. Better may stop now, nahhhh, don't have to go - What no toilet paper!
94. You draw a top pro who says he's gonna teach ya all about fishing shallow as he hands ya the push-pole!
95. As you try to help out a friend by loaning him your boat for an important tournament, you say, "Never had any problems with her. She'll serve you well!" Then...
96. You're bored so you splash a rattlesnake on the shore with your spinnerbait. You didn't know they could swim! (True story!)
97. Go ahead and use my new rod, it's unbreakable.
98. Just tell the rookie that a bass would "never bite that lure"!
99. You ride around in a 19' Bass Cat with a 200hp and keep your hat, only to lose it later in 16’ aluminum with a 40hp.
100. "Honey, I'm just gonna check my e-mail and look at the NCBF page, I'll only be a minute." HAR, HAR, HAR!