Lloyd Chasseur: You know what mom? You know what I’m gonna get you next Christmas? A big wooden cross, so every time you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices, you can climb up and nail yourself to it.

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Connie: We can’t open presents until midnight.
Gus: Why not?
Connie: Because it’s not Christmas until midnight.

Connie: I have never heard of such a Christmas: sex, and drugs, and, and, and, and women being set on fire.

Lloyd: Luck?

John Chasseur: Mom, the TV’s broken. What are we gonna do all night?
Connie Chasseur: Celebrate the birth of Christ!