The Dreaded 'DTR'

DTR - Define the relationship. We've all had this conversation at one point. Whether we're the DTR initiator or the DTR receiver. It's inevitable that when a guy and a girl hang out on a regular basis they will have this conversation. We reach a point where establishing relationship status isn't as easy as it was in the 8th grade. You know the story, Friday night at the skating rink, it's couples skate, K-Ci and JoJo starts to play. He grabs your hand and you skate around the rink under the disco ball. Before you know it, you're passing notes folded into hearts at school on Monday. It was that simple. Once we hit our twenties it all becomes so much more complicated. You get a text saying "can we talk?" and immediately you know what lies ahead. It's frustrating because the truth of the matter is, if people were upfront about their feelings from the get go, this conversation wouldn't be necessary. Don't get me wrong, it's a bold move to initiate this convo. But y'all, what if we were honest with ourselves and each other at the first sign that the other half of this relationship starts to want more than friendship? If this happens and you're not feeling the same way, that's fine! Recognize it and suggest that talking/hanging out so often isn't a good idea because you just want to be friends. Giving someone the wrong idea is just mean. Another scenario is when someone pretends not to be interested because they thought that the other person wasn't interested (guilty). This is just plain fear of rejection. No one ever wants to be rejected but we've got to start putting our egos on the line and be genuine. No risk, no reward.

So either grab the hand of the person you like and skate to "All My Life" or hang out with your friends in the arcade during couples skate. Whatever you do, just be real. And stop the DTRs, they're awkward. You'll know when he or she is interested.

Why were we so much braver in middle school?

How do you feel about having to 'define the relationship'?

Misadventures in Dating - Part 2

It was the day before Junior Senior banquet in college and my date (for said banquet) myself, my friend who introduced the two of us and her boyfriend all went out to dinner. We went to one of my favorites in Nashville, San Antonio Taco Company. It was a gorgeous day on the patio and we were all having a great time, just laughing and eating and enjoying the sunshine when suddenly, I saw something roll across the table and onto the patio next to my chair. As I went to pick it up I realized, IT was TEETH. Yes, that's right, TEETH. Now, the first thought that crossed my mind was that a really mean bird had snagged some dentures from a senior citizen or something. Then I looked up at my date and realized that something was definitely missing from his smile. 10,000 thoughts rushed through my head in .2 seconds. OMG his two front teeth fell out. Someone call an ambulance!  Are any dentists open on Friday night? Will it be easier to just find a new date for the banquet? Quick! Where's the nearest toy vampire teeth vending machine! I snapped out of it just in time to hear the story about the time he was playing basketball and his two front teeth were knocked out. So, the teeth laying on the ground were the implants that fell out. This poor guy, I felt so terrible for him. But where there's a will, there's a way and this problem was nothing that a trip to walgreens and some gorilla glue couldn't fix. And sure enough, the next day he picked me up for the banquet looking handsome as ever with a great smile to boot. Has your date's teeth ever fallen out?


Misadventures in Dating - Part 1

Dating isn't easy. Especially if no one asks you out. But then, what if your friend sets you up on a blind date? Thus begins the brutal process of agonizing over what to wear and what to talk about and gasp what if he hates horses? Of course I don't do that but I'm sure that some gals do. So let's just say, hypothetically speaking, this is how the date goes... Maybe he picks you up in a really nice car and you sigh in relief because there's always a chance that he could show up in a creepy white van that you saw on Unsolved Mysteries. What if you get to the restaurant and he realizes he forgot his wallet? Seeing that he's mortified, you say, no big deal dude, I got this. And then dinner is wonderful and you really enjoy the conversation and the food and the company, he even takes you to frozen yogurt for dessert, you pay of course. But all that said, it was a terrific date and he walks you to the door and says goodbye. You are absolutely sure he'll call to make plans to go out again (only next time, he'll pay). But instead, several days pass and he doesn't call. But what if one day, hypothetically of course, you come home from work, and there's a letter on the counter addressed to you? You open it, not recognizing the handwriting, only to find a check inside for the amount that you spent on dinner and fro yo. And that's the last you ever hear from him.

Okay so maybe that's a true story. And maybe that happened to me. And that's what I call a good date.