A few words about addiction


I fell off the wagon, the health eating wagon that is.   You see, I am an addict, I'm not talking about drink or drugs, but another poison, one that is just as addictive; sugar.  I was too embarrassed to tell them at the Local Milk retreat that I didn't eat sugar, not along with the dairy and gluten, those things alone are enough to have to tell people about.  And those few sweet treats were all it took, to lead me back down the slippery slope.

I  have always been an addict of one sort or another, never one to do things by halves, I am an all or nothing girl.  I can't do anything in between, it's just not in my nature.  So, when I fall off the wagon, I do it with aplomb, I have spent the last two weeks binging my little heart out.  And of course, like most addictions, I progressed to something else, first the sugar, then the dairy.  But those cakes with the frosting look so much better than the ones without!

And also like any other addiction, I didn't care what it was doing to my body, I just kept giving in to the cravings.  I'll give up tomorrow, I'll just wait for the weekend, I might as well carry on eating it until the end of half term.  Practically unbearable physical pain, not enough of an incentive to stop, that's when you know you have a problem!

I've known for years, that sugar is poisonous for my body (a result of massive consumption over the years I expect), without it's temptations, I could easily eat the way I am supposed to right now.  I can give it up for months, but all it takes is a couple of mouthfuls of something sweet, and I have a taste for it again.  It is true that when you haven't eaten it for a while, everything tastes super-sweet, but that doesn't last long, your body soon adjusts to it again.

But, I am not going to feel bad about giving in to temptation, it is part of being human.  I am not a robot after all.  Having the strength and desire to try again, that is what really matters.  Thankfully never giving up is also one of my personality traits!

So today, I am back on the wagon, back to no sugar.  Part of the reason I wanted to write this post, is because I thought putting it in the public domain would be the motivation I need.  So wish me luck, and if you spot me looking longingly at any chocolate, do me a favour and steer me away.

Emma x