Man Named Cocaine Arrested By Florida Cops On Felony Narcotics Charge

A Florida man named Edward Cocaine was arrested this week on a felony drug charge.

Cocaine, a 34-year-old Fort Lauderdale resident, was collared Tuesday evening after a cop pulled over his 2007 Toyota due to an obscured license plate.

As detailed in a Pembroke Pines Police Department report, an officer noticed a Xanax pill in the vehicle’s door pocket. Cocaine later copped to having a second Xanax pill, which he said he had purchased for $5 from an acquaintance.

Since Cocaine did not have a prescription for the anti-anxiety medicine, he was charged with felony drug possession. The police report notes that Cocaine--who started working at Home Depot two weeks ago--weighs 200 pounds, or 90.75 kilograms.

Cocaine (seen above) was freed on his own recognizance by a bemused Florida judge who had never previously handled a criminal case involving a Cocaine.