Monday, November 30, 2009

True Wife Confessions 305 bird seeds on the ground

Confession #3041

I'm curious as to whether or not you still take Viagra, but I have to confess, it doesn't matter anymore whether you do or you don't. You take care of my sexual needs and you're a very loving partner. Whether or not you pop those pills doesn't make a bit of difference.

Confession #3042

I love my husband. And I'm having an affair. At first I didn't think I was--my husband and I found another couple attractive then found out over many months they maybe the kind that switch (they were), one party led to another. Turns out he and I were attracted, my husband and his wife aren't. we started an email, text, phone call relationship for 6 months. We had sex a few weeks ago for the first time and it was unbelievable. Today my husband asked if I had sex with him. I told him "no". He was glad, he doesn't want me to be with him That makes it really wrong, right? I love my husband so much. I can't imagine a better man, best friend, so perfect. He has ED. What do I do? I'm so confused, I want my BF but I think I need to hear the truth. Am I wrong? I love my husband and deny him nothing, he just can't preform. I'm young, not that young, young enough to really enjoy sex but old enough to know I only have a few precious years left. Thanks for the input.

Confession #3043

Dear Sweet Husband,

Sometimes I don't know why you married me. I feel like I can't get anything right lately, and yet, there you are - my biggest fan. You would rather us live dirt poor than me go to a job that makes me physically sick. I would rather us be poor than me be constantly sick too, but, you are there to comfort me when I whine about how I am looking for a job and I can't seem to find one. You have no idea how in awe I am, or how in love with you I am. I am so glad I left my ex-husband for you - you were worth every bit of the pain and misery of divorce.

It's a really tough job market out there, and I know you know that. You do whatever you can do for us and I just hope you can see that I appreciate all that you do. I appreciate that you don't get upset with me when I don't come to bed until hours after you do. I wish I could be more of morning person with you but I have tried, and I am not. Thank you for not forcing that on me.

When you told me you were going to stop smoking, but you were okay with me smoking, I was beyond amazed. How great are you? I wish we never had to be apart. You are my best friend, and you know just how to make me laugh. This morning singing the Pink Dino song and then quoting "O Brother Where Art Thou" to our kitties? I really just wanted to throw you back in bed and forget about the rest of the world today and spend some time with you.

I hope the proverbial shit actually ends up missing the fan, because, I really don't want to have to struggle any more to be with you. Being with you isn't a struggle, but you know our daily lives have so much turmoil. Well, I take that back. I have so much turmoil. I'm a depressed, fat ugly cow and I don't know how you can stand me.

But you still think I am beautiful. You hold me in you arms at night and spoon with me. When you wake me up, you turn off the alarm and wake me with your kisses and love, and I think to myself if you die, I would never find love again. Never in my life have I ever known love like this, and I'll be damned if I ever let go of you. I'm a better me because I have you.

I guess I just want to thank you for being the best husband I could ever have. Thank you for loving me, and for marrying me and being my best friend. We have so many years left together and I am so blessed to be your wife. As long as I have you by my side, I can do anything!

I love you so much, I belong to you.

Confession #3044

Some days I miss the way life was, or could be. I miss being happy. I miss loving. I miss wanting to touch or be touched. I miss being treated right, asked rather than told. I miss being thought of as smart. I miss being listened to, being heard, talked to rather than screamed at. I miss my feelings being considered, not disregarded. I miss having my opinion count, being able to ask a question, being able to talk without trying to figure out how I should sound to not anger. I miss my best friend.

I think its too late. I think I want out. Im scared it can't be fixed, or that I am so angry, hurt, and broken, that I don't want it to be fixed.

I want quiet, yet want to scream. I want to dance with my kids and see no fear, hear no tears. I want to stomp, not tiptoe. I want to cry, so that I can laugh.

I am so tired.....

Confession #3045

Know those tears that I thought were so sweet at first? Well 10 years and about 10,000 tears later they are really getting old. Every time I see you crying I want to tell you to grow a pair and suck it up and be a man. That or punch you in the back of the head so at least then you'd really have something to cry about.

I mean seriously, do you really need to cry that much? I'm a freaking female and I don't cry half as much as you. Tears cause your dad died, yes. Tears cause you had a bad day, not so much.

Confession #3046

Until recently I co-slept with the kids, almost 5 mos and 2 yr 5 mos in their room. Hubby sleeps in our room and always closes the door, even though I have asked him repeatedly to keep it open because I wanted to try to transition into going back to our bed soon. So, since he had been closing the door I decided enough was enough. When I changed the youngest (which was a nice messy nasty diaper) I left it in our room and closed the door. When hubby went in to go to sleep he got a nice smelly surprise. I could hear him complaining for several minutes after he opened the door.

Confession #3047

I really wish you would put your foot down with your family. Your mom is her own worst enemy and would really benefit from an anti anxiety medication. And the whole calling your mom 17 times a day is really agitating. I feel like you share more with her than with me. Seriously it's a problem when we have to get a more expensive cell phone plan because you call her so much. I think it's great that you have such a close relationship with your mother, really I do. But I feel like there's 3 people in our marriage, and it's getting really old. That's probably why I stopped sharing my day with you, I just feel deflated I guess. I giess I feel like I should be there first person you talk to instead of her now. Maybe that's selfish of me.I've asked you, in a completely respectful way to tone down the incessant calling and sharing EVERY SINGLE BIT of information with her, and you say "what am I supposed to do, not talk to my mom?!". That's not what I meant and you know it. You found it necessary to tell her I had the beginning stages of cervical cancer. Really?! I'm a private person and you SHOULD know that seeing that we've been together for 6 years, but you were shocked that I was pissed when she called me to try and talk to me about it. And I feel terrible even telling you that you are pissing me off because you're such a great husband, I know women would give anything to have someone like you. And the whole thing with your brother. He's a piece of shit. He always has been. You can't protect your family from his selfish and ignorant behavior, so either sit down and discuss it like a man with him, or just let it go. I'm tired of hearing his name already, that's also stressing me out. Shit or get off the pot already.

Confession #3048

To my husband, remember when you invited your friend for supper and you passed out on the couch. While you were out in a drunken stupor, your friend pushed me over the next to your pulled my panties off and slide his massive cock all the way to my ovaries and fucked very slowly and guess what I think I am pregnant. Today after you have left for work, he will come and do me again to make sure I have his baby. So carry on with your little tart.

Confession #3049

Love of my life, I confess. The sex with you is awesome and I'd love it if we did it every night. But just laying in your arms is much, much more important to me. So please don't feel like you're disappointing me when you're too tired to do it. You're not. As long as you wrap your arms around me when you come to bed, I'll be a very content lady.

Confession #3050

I went looking for our kids ADD meds today. I needed a boost, some motivation.
You've either hidden them or thrown them out.


B. said...

To #3042...

I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of slack for this, but that's okay. I'm a big girl, I can take it.

Out the outside, the easy answer is yes, you're wrong. You shouldn't be having an affair. You say you love your husband so much, then you should respect him enough not to cheat on him.

The not-so-easy answer is that we all have needs. Personally, I feel it is impossible to find ONE person to meet ALL of ones needs. And I don't just mean sexual needs... we have intellectual needs, emotional needs, we need different types of friendships and different types of relationships. I think it's naive to believe that, just because you are married, that your spouse will fulfill your EVERY want and desire.

Is having an affair wrong? Yes. But life is short and you should be able to have the basic things in life you need and desire. If your husband is open to the idea of swinging, maybe you can find another couple where everyone has a mutual attraction and go from there. Even with ED, there are still things your husband can do sexually.

If swinging isn't an option but you're still interested in looking elsewhere for your sexual needs, then you better be careful not to get caught. If you truly love your husband, I'm sure you don't want him to get hurt, and that's exactly what an affair would do. Then again, not having an affair might end up hurting you (depression, resentment, frustration, etc.).

It's not an easy decision, but it's one that you have to make for yourself.

Billy said...

to #3050 - if you mean you were looking for you kid's meds so YOU could take them, then good on your husband for hiding them. If you need help, chemical help, see a professional and get your own prescription. Taking your kids' pills is a step on a way slippery slope.

Anonymous said...

I have to disagree somewhat with B., regarding #3042. You are correct in saying that we can't always expect one person (spouse or significant other) to fulfill all of our needs all of the time. However, I don't believe that gives anyone license to cheat. If your sexual needs truly aren't being met at home, then either (1) live with it, (2) discuss the situation with your partner and perhaps decide to open the marriage, or (3) leave your partner. But have some respect for your partner and the relationship the two of you have, and don't cheat on him/her.

Also, there's no rule or law or guarantee that all of ones need will or even should be met. Sometimes some of what you consider "needs" just won't be met, period. You have to decide if you can live with that or not. And while it's true that one's partner cannot meet all of one's intellectual or emotional needs either, lets not pretend that sexual needs aren't different -- having a philosophical discussion with a coworker or friend is a far cry from screwing the coworker or friend.

The original poster's situation is a little bit different, in that she and her husband initially decided to (sort of) swing together, but then she still slept with the other guy even knowing that her husband didn't want her to do so and didn't want to swing with that couple, so she is still cheating.

In my opinion, #3042, you should not have sex with that other guy anymore, unless/until you discuss it with your husband and if he says it's ok with him and means it. Polyamory/swinging would not work for me -- I'm monogamous through-and-through, as is my boyfriend -- but I acknowledge that it can and does work for some people. It's certainly better than cheating, in any case. Not to mention the possibility of getting HIV or some other STD, and possibly passing it on to your husband (God forbid).

Anonymous said...

to Confession #3042:

I think you need to be honest and tell your husband the truth. Just because he has ED doesn't mean the sex has to be bad. You need to be open and discuss this with him. Sex is extremely important in a relationship, and if you're getting that pleasure from another man, that can be really hurtful. Just think about it like this.

Would you like it if he had more pleasure with another woman than he does with you?

Anonymous said...

3048, you are pathetic.

Anonymous said...

3048 - your husband might not have heard you, but I'll bet the folks in the next door trailer did.

Anonymous said...

#3048 has got to be a joke ...

Anonymous said...

to 3045, maybe your partner is depressed. Have you considered that? You sound like a rather cold person. I actually feel sorry for your husband.

Anonymous said...

#3044 I think you're me. It's time to go. You know it. It's going to suck for awhile, but your kids deserve a happy mom.

Rebecca said...

#3046 - Grow a pair and stop playing passive aggressive games. It's pathetic.

Anonymous said...

#3044 Im with you I want out....I want to be happy. I gave 10 years of my life. We can do it, we are STRONGE.

The Hip Housewife said...

3050, so do your kids actually get their ADD meds?

Anonymous said...

3042, here.

I ended it. And miss him terribly. Thanks for the advice, I appriciate it.

Anonymous said...


perhaps because you're a junkie?