Thursday, March 1, 2012

Are You Afraid of Happiness?

You are all afraid to get caught being happy with  the wrong thing. --Bruce Di Marsico, founder of the Option Method.

Undetected like a stealth bomber, fear of happiness strikes when you least expect it. Since the fear of happiness is rarely recognized, it blocks an untold number of potentially wonderful experiences.

One reason I love teaching live workshops so much is the wisdom and insight the participants share during
and long after our time together.

This courageous message about fear of happiness comes from Andrea Schwarb, a coach who specializes in
simple, authentic living and professional resilience. She attended the Breakout Coach Training in Palm Springs last October.

"...false beliefs keep creeping in:
  • If I am happy, I will be leaving the ones that I love.
  • If I am happy, some people will feel abandoned, and they might want to kill themselves.
  • If I am happy, others will try to knock me down at the knees.
  • If I am happy, it won't last.
  • I am not one of those types of people who can sustain happiness.
  • Only others can be happy.
  • If I am happy, some people will think "ewww....there's one of those happy people - can't be true - must be inauthentic"
  • If I am happy, some may try to take me down, and I may have hurt feelings.
  • If my feelings are hurt, I might cry, and then they will make fun of me and humiliate me for crying - for being a crybaby. 
I feel scared. Depression and despair are things I have always lived with. They are painful, but I know them well. They are like my security blanket. (strange, I know - picturing a stinky,dark "known" security blanket) - like THAT is keeping me safe and secure!
  • I am afraid that if I am happy all of the time, I will lose touch with reality.
  • I will be manic.
  • I will scare people.
I want to continue on this journey of exploring what I enjoy, what pleases me, what I am happy doing. I
want to keep practicing self-authorization. And I want a good, cozy night's sleep."
A few weeks later Andrea reported that she was feeling happy, grateful, getting more hours in an interesting job, and beginning a new relationship. Woo Hoo!
Amazing, how discovering hidden fears and finding the beliefs that hold them in place can lead to a breakout
from a prison you may not even know confines you.
It takes some courage. It's good to have someone to cheer you on. It's wonderful to share the freedom and create new experiences.

Have you broken out from a prison of fear?
Your story can inspire others.

Are you stuck in fear? Especially fear of happiness?
Sharing your fear can open the door for a breakout.

Resource for overcoming fear of happiness: "Emotional Options: A Handbook for Happiness