Her boyfriend was really manipulative and worked on every possible factor that could make 'him' 'look bad' in her eyes. So he literally did everything in his power to eliminate all people from her life at our school to keep her away from his own 'deeds' he did behind her back. I was also one of those friends she was restricted to talk to. Finally, we decided to talk only in our colony premises and while he or an of his friends weren't around and pretended to have a 'fight', not many people knew about our 'plan'.

But he was really cunning and he felt we talked and heard from a few others who are his friends and thorough with the story. So he blamed her again and again but she still lied and so did I. There was this girl who my friend never like around her boyfriend but he never listened to her. He used to sneek behind her back and meet and be friendly with her, she knew it but didn't want to fight over this never-ending situation.

So this Monday, apparently her once-good friend also started spilling her secrets to her boyfriend and he in turn is my friend's boyfriend's best friend and obviously told him. That guy was furious for talking and believing people he had restricted her to. So he broke up and abused her so badly she couldn't stop crying. I couldn't see her like this and supported her the next day along with our another common best friend. We were all by her side but my stupidity surfaced when they saw a picture of 'her ex' with that girl he was supposed to stay away from in a very inappropriate pose on social media. She was broken and realized he was cheating on her all this 1 year and some months.

And I misunderstood that picture to be a private picture of my friend's and mistakenly told my boyfriend, who in turn told her ex's best friend and so yesterday or so he got to know and must have raged on her. I thought she had deactivated her social media so I called her and she explained what happened after my boyfriend told that guy. She was sad and feeling guilty that she lied to him and told me when she hadn't told anyone about the 'private picture' I understand my mistake but I don't know how to fix things.

She has said we are done! I don't want to lose another friend as I have always been losing all.

She isn't talking to me and I think she's back with that guy, I can't even confront my boyfriend because then it'd get complicated and transferred further. I was stupid but what now?

She is my bestest friend since past 2 years and a very supportive friend since 4 years. I don't want to see her alone and lose her. She has isolated herself from everyone else. How can I save my relationship with her? Please help.

closed as primarily opinion-based by BKlassen, ElizB, sphennings, Rob, A J Nov 11 '18 at 5:13


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    Welcome to IPS! I have edit your question to remove the "what should I do" part which is off-topic. In order to make the question clearer, could you give fake names to all the person involve and use them? It's a bit hard to follow at the time being – Ælis Nov 9 '18 at 13:45

Your question is a little hard to follow, but if I grasp the basics:

You have a dear friend A who has a boyfriend B who is horrible and abusive and doesn't want her to have any other friends, especially ones who are aware that he is horrible and tell her about it. He has tried in the past to keep you apart, and now he has succeeded. She isn't talking to you, and she is with him.

What can you do about this? Almost certainly nothing. You're not a professional counselor, and even if you were, she isn't asking you for help freeing herself from an abusive relationship. You have no power over B to make him less horrible. You don't even know exactly why she is choosing to be with B when this means not seeing friends like you any more.

You mention being in school. This kind of thing - having to choose between romantic relationships and friendships, getting caught up with friends who don't want the best for you or romantic partners who don't want the best for you, and not realizing that at first, people cheating and lying and betraying and sharing things you thought were private, people sneaking around and revealing things only to hurt others - this is pretty common in the late teens and early twenties of most people's lives. The pain is real. And this isn't something that can be fixed by saying the right thing, or revealing the right secret, or getting one other person on your side.

You can tell your friend that you care for her. You can tell her that you want to be friends again whenever she wants it. (Don't say "when you're done with B" or "when you come to your senses".) Then you can continue to live a happy and full life, and be a good example of a healthy person. Things change pretty quickly at this time of life, and you may be friends again or you may not. Don't put your life on hold over this; don't give B power over you as well as A.

  • Thanks a lot, although it is really hard to sink in not being friends with her anymore. But the weird thing is they broke up and now something happened which makes me think (by the way she talks) that she's still with him. I just want her best, nothing else. Thanks again! – zxcvbnm Nov 11 '18 at 15:20
