This Is Why Nobody Likes You Hillary

For Boston sports fans, two really horrible things happened in 1986.

Most everyone recalls the baseball that rolled through Bill Buckner’s legs in October. But in June, just a couple days after the NBA draft, which itself was just a couple days after another Celtics championship, their first round pick Len Bias died of a cocaine overdose.

Somehow or another the great Celtics GM Red Auerbach always managed to bilk some team in a trade.  Despite being the best team in the league, the Cetics, already stacked with talent, had the second pick in the entire draft.  They used that pick on Bias, a 6′ 9″ forward from the University of Maryland.

Because that ’86 Championship was the last the Celtics would see for a long while, many Boston fans contended that if only they had Len Bias there would have been a few more. The refrain seemed to last forever, and is reminiscent of the far-right chant of “thanks Obama” as an explanation for everything from the price of Budweiser to the heartbreak of psoriasis.

No matter that the Bulls ended up with Jordan and Pippen, or that the bad boys from Detroit had a rebounding machine in Dennis Rodman and a hall of fame point guard in Isiah Thomas, or that Houston had Olajuwon and San Antonio had the twin towers of Duncan and Robinson.  Nope. If the Celtics only only had Len Bias surely they would have bested all of the above.  No matter that Larry Bird’s back was falling apart and Bill Walton’s career was essentially over.  Nope, all they needed was Len Bias.

The “what if they had Len Bias” lament became so prominent that it became a standard punchline even decades later – well after what would have been Bias’s inevitable retirement.

And so class, that brings us to today’s topic.  James Comey is Hillary Clinton’s Len Bias.

Hillary is the Democrat’s version of the old white guy in his red MAGA t-shirt at a Trump rally holding a sign with misspelled words and thinking that Obama is responsible for sending his job to Mexico, or China, or one of those countries where they let little girls get married.  Never mind that he lost his job ’cause his own state never spent enough money on book learnin; and that (if his state is Mississippi) his own daughter can get married at 15. Introspection doesn’t seem to be her strong suit.

Regardless how many flaws Hillary has, and regardless how many miscalculations and underestimations her campaign made, she and her apostles will go the their graves blaming only Jim Comey.

Sure, Russia tampered in the election. Sure, Bernie Sanders constantly polled better against Trump. Sure, Hillary never visited Wisconsin. Sure, she was saddled with both Obama’s and Bill’s baggage. Sure, she lacks charisma and came across as a shrill shrew. Sure, there was a lot of latent (and blatant) sexism involved. And sure, the electoral college might have outlived its useful shelf-life. But, by God, had it not been for Jim Comey she would have won.

James Comey: at 6’8″ he’s an inch shorter than Len Bias, but as an urban legend he stands just as tall.



1 Response to This Is Why Nobody Likes You Hillary

Leave a Reply


You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo


Twitter picture


Facebook photo


Connecting to %s