Holy crap, the Squattersons moved out!




















In the dark.








  1. Fuckin funny story. The picture of the house is classic, complete with their "outdoor entertaining center". Like you said, you con't mae that shit up.

  2. hey johhny, congratulations. this is amazing news. and speaking of stolen kids, sarah who's looking at all kinds of real estate, totally tried to steal one of scott's kids last week. interesting coincidence.

  3. Seriously, without question, the funniest goddamned thing I've ever read on the internet. I seriously have read nearly everything on the internet and this story shames them all. If you ever write a book I'll be the first one in line to buy it.

  4. Oh my lord, that picture says it all...

    You have the patience of Job, I would have torched that place accidentally years ago...

  5. Hey if you ever get that guy's new phone number or address, let me know. I am single now and looking for a guy who's handy around the house.

    P.S. Awesome story. Pop almost came out of my nose.

  6. Laugh? I nearly *wet* myself. I'll definitely be back to hear more!

  7. Ah, the ol' Redneck Neighbor post. You will enjoy this one then:


  8. aw man...i lived for 6 years in arkansas and this was us. i shit you not, you are talking about my childhood home--the shack, not the trailer. thank god my mother woke up and brought me back home to texas and civilization before the trying adolescent years set upon us, lest i be blogged about by my normal neighbors as "elly mae scummerson." bullet dodged.

  9. when i was a kid we kinda had neighbors like that
    we called them The Grousom's

    the owner and father fell kind of ill and unable to do stuff for himself.. when his kids became adults they were all white trash and lazy.. and pretty much took over the place

    half of cars in the yard. 4 old rusty cars in the driveway. dirt lawn, etc etc etc

    various crazy dogs tied to something.

    there was at least 12 people living there at all times

    there was an orange tree dividing our property and there was always moldy penicillin ridden oranges carpeting the tops of the cars and the driveway

    i remember when the dad/owner died someone else inherited the property and kicked everyone out. it was a glorious day

    whoever ended up with it got all cleaned up and repainted and a nice little yard

    BUT... the person selling it never disclosed a little piece of info about what happens when we get a heavy rain

    our house and the Grousoms' house is at the bottom of 2 hills. so all the rain water runs and collects there.. supposed to go down the drain in front of the Grousoms' house but it always backs up and floods

    Every year.. maybe twice a year depending on the storms, their driveway and front yard are rivers.. that may or may not have gone into the house.. the back yard was 2-3 ft deep easy. i remember one year when the house was vacant going back there and playing in the "pool"

    yea so the new owners moved in.. everything was cool.. new family with little kids ... then winter came - they freaked ... we were like "they didn't tell you it does this?"

    they sued the seller, and the city. we got new sewers and drains

    no more lake Grousom

    a few years ago one of the Grousoms' sons, was renting a place around the corner from where I am now.. same crap.. broken cars big dogs on ropes, dirt lawn.. Loud arguments -Grousoms part 2

    i think they got kicked out

  10. I laughed so hard. Thanks...this story was HILARIOUS!

  11. Anonymous5:40 PM

    So I'm a few years too late, but I had to comment. I found your post when I was searching for "empty cable spool table" and you told a great story. I was groaning right along with you. The really unfortunate part, though, is that losing my job to the recession forced me into just that kind of living situation. The house has junk and dirt inside and outside and I absolutely hate it, and it's not my house to clean up either! I used to wonder what it would be like to live in a house like the Squattersons' and unfortunately, now I do. Ah well, it was an entertaining story at any rate. Thanks!

  12. Aw man, sorry to hear that. I don't necessarily think living in a trailer is bad -- there's a guy right next door to that place that has a trailer and the yard is immaculate. My point is these people were just nuts. Good luck with getting back on your feet. It's tough out there.

  13. This would be funnier if there weren't several dozen of these places scattered around my neighborhood. We call it Eclectic Shabby.

    Ironically, just up the hill from me is an old trailer neighborhood that is kept up very well, full of retirees, weekend fisherman, and struggling young families. Happy place.