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Skinny dudes with overweight women? Succumbing to fat acceptance even at a young age?

I was out with some friends the other day, and I noticed a couple of rail thin men with quite size-able women. All appeared to be college-aged.

Does this mean men are settling? Think too many people, esp. women are jumping on this fat acceptance band wagon going?

Just think how big they'll be a few years from now?

I keep seeing these blog posts:

"The way I see it, if you can't handle my stretch marks, then you don't deserve my cellulite."

These blogs go on about 'How I used to hide it, but not...I don't try to anymore."

How about try dieting?

No indication of "You know what, I should change my diet and eat healthy. Get active, etc." Nothing in the blog about that.

With the obesity epidemic on the rise, think people are accepting or settling on those in the plus-sized range?

Respond to Anonymous:

Your response must be between 3 and 5000 characters.
18 answers and 76 replies
  • Top Answer
    I dunno. I don't judge women by their size, weight, tits, arse, but something just a tad bit deeper. Crazy right?

    Would not bother me a bit to see a "fat girl", with a "skinny guy". I'd not give it a second thought, and I don't know why it bothers you so much.

    Not everyone must conform to your standards, or my standards of worth, and to be quite honest, if that is your standard for a woman that you would suggest that these guys are settling simply by virtue of a two second glance, you need to get your priorities, and Idea of relationships in order.

    You are not a man because you work out in they gym, and if that is your idea of a man, if that is what a guy uses to be seen as a man, then he has more issues then the NY Times, and is the exact type of guy that women should avoid.

    Same for that entitlement girl with the hot legs, hiked up skirt and low cut shirt twriking on the dance floor.

    Both would maybe be fun for a quick lay, but when one seeks something more, something deeper, they simply do not measure up...and that is why so many people come here with relationships problems. They are not choosing wisely.

    My personal preference is that I want a woman with curves, not just bones and sex organs. I don't do scrawny, and I don't do obese, but that is my preference. Others may vary.

    That's the physical though. As life goes on, as we age, that means exactly dic. More importantly is her depth, style, grace, who she is as a woman, as a human, as someone I respect enough to share my life with.

    Need to get your priorities straight, or one day you will wake up in a corvette, with a comb over, still looking for that perfect hottie.
    • @_DJ_: Absolutely brilliant! You said it much better than I did and it was unbelievebly funny too! lmao
      Edited by the author
    • @_DJ_: ahh, one of the rare times I will disagree with you - when you say:


      ....trying to imply that heavy people have more rewarding personalities and stronger character than their slender and healthier counterparts?

      A great personality, a strong character - doesn't have anything to do with your waistline. To imply these traits have anything to do with one's shape or size is silly IMO.
      Edited by the author
    • @Hierophant: You're not disagreeing with me, I just did not explain it well enough.


      This is what I was trying to say, not to argue that a woman with curves would be a better mate then a thin woman. He was implying that last line by stating that the men in question were settling.

      It was to state that good women come in all sizes and shapes, but choosing only on that criteria is foolish. My preference is curvier, another guys may be thin, but I'd not pick a woman just because she fit my physical requirements.

      A start, a preference, but she has to have far more depth then then just that. Same with a thin girl that a guy may have preference for, still needs to have depth if he is smart.

      In fact, if, when I was looking, I found that perfect mate, best friend and lover, but she was skinny, I'd be with a skinny woman right now.

      Hope that explains it a bit better.
    • @_DJ_: Oh give it a rest. To younger pople sex is very important. Fat people are NOT very sexy or desirable. Plain fact.
    • @Kalle: I think you are applying your personal preferences to everyone else.I just like people I'm attracted to and they have varying physical appearances.
    • @Hierophant: I just said something similar to this and I want to clarify where the this assumption comes from. You have to understand human beings a little better to understand why it seems many unattractive people tend to occupy more intellectual factions of our society. By unattractive I mean anything. Too short, too fat, too skinny, too much acne, noses too big, too much hair, not enough hair etc...

      Let me start off by saying that intrinsically no one is stupid and when we are born we are not born ugly.

      Society teaches all of us where we need to shuffle at varying stages in our development.

      The scrawny boy who has to dedicate way too much time and energy to being good at sports because it just doesn't come naturally to him?

      Well now we have two problems? Which came first? Is it possible that scrawny boy isn't any good at sports because physical challenges don't stimulate him and he finds physical challenges boring? So it doesn't come naturally to him and he signs up for chess club and it stimulates him and he finds other boys who are stimulated by mental challenges rather than physical challenges.

      The girl with weird eyebrows and frizzy hair wants to have beautiful eyebrows and straight hair and date a certain attractive boy because the middle school playground dictates this as a goal. But wait what if this girl isn't interested in that boy because of his physical attractiveness what if that girl wants to date that cute boy because they both love medieval history and they discovered it in class one day together?

      Layers. What you focus on in life is what you see. It's very easy as someone who focuses on physical attractiveness to see a person through the lenses they are forced to see out of themselves I've just done it myself. I'm much more challenged by intellectual challenges than physical one so I see people with dimensionality rather than as pieces of flesh performing activities. I also have a lot of empathy and intuitive understanding so I'm easily able to understand why people value physical attractiveness over mental acuity. Notice that in my two illustrations I mentioned an attractive person with a love for medieval history implying they are attractive and intellectual.

      Now why did I make my comment up there about less attractive people on average populating intellectual factions of our society and physically attractive people populating more physically demanding factions of our society. It's simple people swim in areas that challenge them and what they like to do. It's not shocking to me that basketball players are physically fit? It's not shocking to me that teachers that sit down for a living tend to be on the chubbier side. It's not shocking to me that girls that are born skinny would continue to swim in an atmosphere that promotes being skinny such as modeling or even acting. You see people play to their strengths. Nobody wants to do things that they are bad at or have a hard time with. Why is the jock pulling a C so he can play in the game such a stereotype? Because people play to their strengths and swim in environments that are easiest for them. For some people physical prowess is a strength for other mental prowess is a strength plenty of people have both , but not everyone does. Overtime people (because of how our society is built) tend to bend heavily towards what they are successful at and is easiest for them. So what if that girl gets her eyebrows done and straightens her hair and actually is a knockout at 20? We will never know because she's much too busy with that cute boy and they are both teaching medieval history somewhere as professors at some college surrounded by people who don't care if she straightens her hair or has on fleek eyebrows.
      Edited by the author
  • Some men - fat men, thin men, muscular men, short men, tall men - are attracted to fat women.

    Some men - fat men, thin men, muscular men, short men, tall men - aren't.

    Some women -fat women, thin women, athletic women, short women, tall women - are attracted to rail thin men.

    Some women -fat women, thin women, athletic women, short women, tall women- aren't.

    Why do you let other people upset you so much?
  • I have a couple of mates who are dedicated chubby chasers, and no they're not settling. One of them is always saying he wants a feather bed of a woman. Years ago he talked me into having a go at a larger woman. I had quite the wild night. I even burned my arse on the ceiling fixture. Wouldn't have missed that for the world.
  • I'm married to an older, much bigger girl than myself. I didn't settle for her, I just fell in love. Simple as that, I met her, saw past her size and fell in love with an amazing woman and we have a great relationship. Is she the type of woman I would have usually been attracted to? No. Is she similar in anyway to other girls I've dated? No. Is the sex amazing? Yes it is.
    Really though, Who cares? We all like what we like and it's nobody else's business. Horses for courses and all that.
  • Guys, I think you both have it wrong here. It's 2016 and all people should be treated equal. I am assuming that you are both white males, correct? Just a few decades ago interracial relationships were not only illegal but many people thought that dating outside of your race was also "settling".

    The issue is not with the guys who were brave enough to date who they felt attracted to, despite what you or society says about it, the issue is your prejudice against plus sized women, just because you may not be attracted to them. Of course you are entitled to date women with the body type you prefer, but hating on women because of their size is something entirely different. And anyway who cares what others think. Those guys you saw out were real men- take notes!

    PS- no I am not a plus sized woman, but have friends who are and I can't stand it when people hate on them just because they think that they are entitled to do so. Also why did you ask your question anonymously? A real man would have revealed himself.
    Edited by the author
    • @GirlwithQuestions: I think you're making quite a few curious assumptions here. Those guys may be "brave" or they genuinely may have gone for the path of least resistance. A bigger girl will usually cling onto her man harder and will be easier to woo. It's not "prejudice" - it's a fact. They usually have less options, so they try harder. And I completely lost it at "real men" and him having to take notes - humorous stuff. So are all men who date bigger girls "real men" or are all "real men" dating bigger girls? And why would he want to take note if they're seeing people who OP doesn't find physically attractive? And "real men" don't post as anonymous? What if he simply doesn't have a profile?
      I find your definition of "real men" a bit unusual, to put it mildly.
    • @GirlwithQuestions: Not sure who you're talkin to here. No one is 'hating' on fat women or being prejudice against them. I just know what I'm attracted to and fat girls aren't it. So I wouldn't settle for someone I wasn't attracted to. People that 'settle' are desperate or compromising their own sense of self worth. I'd also bet his attitude transcends racial backgrounds and that most men aren't attracted to fat girls so your assumptions about whatever race the posters are is completely irrelevant.

      Being fat (something people can control), and being of a certain racial background (something they can't), are completely different.
    • @Kingslayer: I was talking to you and your all so brave "anonymous" buddy who posted this crap.

      Your idea of settling because someone is plus size is just stupid and it drips of arrogance. You are also assuming that a man who is genuinely attracted to plus sized women are desperate. Seriously? Some men love curves and a woman who actually looks like a woman and not a 13 year old girl, which is what the media pushes. Not every person male or female can control their weight. Some people have medical conditions.

      Your perspective is just so elementary and immature. I pray you never gain a pound- some woman might never speak to you if you do. These are people you are referring to not just bodies. Women/people are more than their physical bodies. Maybe you would know that if you ever had so much as a conversation with a plus sized woman. I know some fine plus sized women who might think they would be settling getting with you.
      Edited by the author
    • @Cynicus: Gosh that is just so not true babe what you said about plus size women being so happy to have a guy. What a bunch of crap. Wow, it Looks like I am the only woman who decided to tackle this post and now I see why.

      Listen, I have a few plus size gorgeous friends who actually have BFs in the industry- they are actors, some of the most coveted fine men in the world. Those guys are proud to be there and they pursued hard, one couple is now married. This is NOT an exception. Maybe it depends on your exposure in life... Maybe you need to widen your horizons with different kinds of people in your circle. Not sure what planet you live on here? Are you in a small town or something! I just can't anymore with with this topic... Seriously
      Edited by the author
    • @GirlwithQuestions: "Your idea of settling because someone is plus size is just stupid and it drips of arrogance."

      I am only thinking rational here, and I would bet a large number of men who date fat chicks are settling. And hell, these fat women that date these men are probably settling too. That's not arrogance, that's just a logical conclusion drawn from observation. Sure, some men might like fat women, but the vast majority of men are not attracted to fat women. And to each person what constitutes "fat" is subjective. To be clear, I think a little chunk can be irresistibly sexy. But I draw a line somewhere.

      "Some men love curves and a woman who actually looks like a woman and not a 13 year old girl" "Your perspective is just so elementary and immature."

      You can have a thin waistline an no cellulite and still look like a real woman. There's nothing wrong with being comfortable with your body and taking ownership of being fat, but others will still observe and determine for themselves what they like. You cannot shame people into thinking fat women are hot just because it makes you feel better about yourself or others.


      I've talked to many fat women in my day. I've worked with them, got along great with them, have had great conversations with them. Watched football with them, drank beers with them, played sports with them. Lots of stuff. I was also not remotely attracted to any of them.
    • @Kingslayer: I just can't with this topic anymore guys! I just have too many sexy and attractive fat/plus sized female friends who have the finest men on the planet.... That is factual, not hypothetical. I'm done and out done by what I've read on this post. Unbelievable!
      Edited by the author
    • @GirlwithQuestions: It is what I observed - many bigger girls settle. The village I live in is Chicago, I'm sure you've heard of it. I'm sure there are some that aren't settling and I'm sure there are some that have great partners, just like I'm sure that there are men who are genuinely attracted to "curvy" girls.
      Take 100 guys from the industry and look at their partners. The Depps, Pitts, Clooneys, etc. Then tell me how many of their partners are "plus size". Then look up "exception".
      My horizons are wider than most, I just know what I'm physically attracted to. I can control who I talk to, I can't control who I get boners for. It's simple biology. You trying to shame me into it doesn't change that.
    • @Cynicus: Not trying to shame anyone. Trying to shame the idea that people are using to make blanket statements about plus sized women. I live in LA so I know the pressure people here are under but the truth is behind the and I front of the camera (in which many of my friends work) plenty of plus sized women are worshipped, pursued and married to fine men, not losers.
    • @Kingslayer: This also can be in reverse. I recall seeing a cute thick woman, which I don't mind, but she, wasn't really obese, but did admit in her profile that she was 5'0" 140 lbs. She even mentioned the dress size (forgot what it was).

      I recall in her bulleted criteria that she preferred BIGGER men, because....and get this, "I would be jealous of your metabolism." I was like, "Really?"
    • @Anonymous: Well at least she isn't being a hypocrite.

      Reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld where the bald woman dumps George because he's bald (after he wasn't sure if he wanted to date her when he found out she was bald).
    • @GirlwithQuestions: I'm with ya, hun.

      Is it settling, or is it placing higher priority on depth then looks.

      is it settling or is it personal preference.

      Is it settling because, perhaps, they've been through the Hotties, and found about as much depth there as one would find in a thimble? ...the same thing I hear the guys complaining about more then weight?

      Been there done that, a fool myself. I married an 11, and she ruined my facking life. I "settled" after that. My wife is good looking woman, but she's no 11. I don't give a rats arse because she has more depth then I knew existed, and long after our looks fade, our youth is gone, we will still be best friends and partners in crime.

      I chose wisely.
    • @GirlwithQuestions: Being obese doesn't make you look like any more of a women. Being obese is unhealthy. All women look like women - slim women, i.e healthy weight, not anorexic - can have a feminine body shape, with a defined waist and rounded hips.
    • @GirlwithQuestions: Yes, but fat/overweight (plus sized as you call it) is not sexy or attractive to all men, most men do not find overweight attractive. Yes maybe some guys do, but they are a minority.
    • @GirlwithQuestions: "...a woman who actually looks like a woman and not a 13 year old girl..."

      Petite/thin women are just as womanly as curvaceous women. If you're going to defend the worth and humanity of all sizes, you can't denigrate one of those sizes in the same breath and still expect people to see your argument as sincere.
    • @SarahK: This actually is not my agrument, but was some guy who chose not to revel himself. I am simply sharing feedback because the question was asked and posted. I was referring to the body types of super thin models. Not sure if you have seen them or not but their bodies look identical to my 13 year of niece. By that I mean they do not have curves of a grown woman and more like bodies of undeveloped teenagers. That is factual not degrading anyone nor does it take away from their beauty.

      What is disturbing is that the media and to some extent greater society (extending beyond the fashion industry) keeps pushing the acceptance of women who actually resemble young girls as the ultimate sex symbols to grown men. That is what is unbelievable and in a way very sick. On the other hand women with extreme curves who resemble grown women are told by American society that they are disgusting and unattractive? What a load of pure crap. Maybe you should take your own advice to me from and earlier response? I am done with discussing this topic!
      Edited by the author
    • @GirlwithQuestions: It's preference, just like you preference differ. All of our opinions are bias.
      Saying someone is elementary and immature because they don't find an unhealthy person attractive is extremely childish and ignorant.

      Oh and "media" consists of magazines that primarily advertise make-up...I wonder why those girls are attractive?
      It's not because these beautiful people are everywhere that society thinks they're beautiful. It's because they look healthy, fit, and of child bearing age. EVERYTHING that is programmed biologically in us finds that kind of person more attractive.

      Actual media is pushing fatness onto people. That's where the phrase "fat shaming" came into existence. It's not fat shaming; it's pointing out unhealthy people that are a drain on society; socially, economically, and visually.
      Edited by a moderator
    • @Bombtastic: Actually if you go back and do your biological research properly, you will find that study after study prove that bigger women with curves are more attractive to men because physically they appear to bear the healthiest children because of their weight. Try a credibile source when quoting scientific research and make sure you have the facts and a good understanding out how to correctly interpret the data.

      Also, my PT weights much more than me and she is far healthier than I am. Weight and health do not always equal optimum health. Your logistic here is lost. I said so was done with this topic, and I really am now!
      Edited by the author
    • @GirlwithQuestions: We're talking about fat, not weight. There's a difference.

      Perfect ratio for a woman is .67 to .8 in waist-hip ratio. Fat people do NOT have that. Healthy people do.
    • @SarahK: I totally agree with you. I see on Facebook all the time how bigger women put thin girls down. "This is what men want to wake up to. (Picture of overweight women)" and all these other memes or whatever. In our society, it is much more socially acceptable for the oppressed to put down other people. And how bigger people tell girls that they need to eat a cheeseburger. That's the same thing as telling a fat girl to hit the gym. even though it's the same thing, our society accepts one over the other more. Why is there so many pictures with captions of how men want big girls?? You don't actually hear men saying that they want a fat girl. Who are even making these memes and pictures saying that bigger women are better?? And why are people posting these?? Why aren't there posts saying the opposite? people tell girls that have a normal BMI that they need to gain weight. Why would you need to gain weight of you are considered healthy??? To look fat??? I'm sorry but our country is so politically correct and doesn't want to hurt people's feelings. Fat is unhealthy. Period. People get addicted to food just how people get addicted to alcohol. There's a weakness to both. There's a biological, emotional, and mental factor to both with negative effects. According to Facebook and the media, this is what's better for men and this is what men prefer deep down inside. "Curvy women (picture of obese woman...) because they are more women"
    • @GirlwithQuestions: You're informing men of what WE find most attractive? Damn you're arrogant and ignorant.
    • @Bombtastic: It's not fat shaming; it's pointing out unhealthy people that are a drain on society; socially, economically, and visually.

      I'm not defending being unhealthy but damn..... fat people are a drain socially and visually?
    • @Happyhapa: These memes and "being fat is good" era is blowing up because of consumerism.
      When you're healthy and in shape you're most likely extremely happy and content and don't feel the NEED to buy (food, clothes, make-up, things) to help you FEEL better, because you'll just hit the trail for a short jog and you'll be back to feeling great.
      When everyone is fat, they're miserable, buy absurd amounts of things to make them feel better, blame others for their troubles, etc.

      (this is a generalization but for the most part it's in line with the Golden Ratio)
    • @fallen_angel: Yes they are. That lifestyle promotes laziness and unaccountability. As well as just personal space, think of fat people commuting on the sub or taking a flight. They invade other peoples space and it's deemed acceptable because they don't have self does that make sense?
      Personally, I see a fat person and I visualize them healthy and they would look beautiful.
    • @Bombtastic: LOL I can't put that much energy into worrying about the stranger next to me on the subway is overweight. It's their choice, many people struggle with addiction..... it's just not as visible.
    • @fallen_angel: Yeah, don't victimize them by saying they have an addiction. It's lack of will power and resolve.
    • @Bombtastic: Yes this is what addiction is lol. But yea it could just be laziness like what you are saying. There's the people who are very big with food addiction that have the typical addictive behavior of blaming others for their behavior. Such as a history of child abuse, bullying, self esteem issues, depression (same with alcoholism). Food (or alcohol) helps this person cope because it makes them feel better. It will always be there for them. This is the situation with some people. Having an addiction is associated with other mental, social, emotional, biological factors. (Weakness). That's why i said its not just the appearance that men are aversed to. There's underlying problems as well.
    • @Bombtastic: My dad said the same thing. There was a debate on whether fat people should buy two plane tickets. It's a controversial topic but it's very true. Some people take over your space because they can't stay in their own. You paid all this money to feel squished on the plane. This happened to my dad and he was furious.
    • @GirlwithQuestions: You are assuming they are both white know, I'm a woman and I am frankly sick of people using the phrase "white males" as an negative thing. Reverse it for a second. Put an other race for a second and roll that around in your mind for a bit. It's less acceptable, isn't it? If so, then it should be just as less acceptable to put down white men. Even if it is true that as a general cultural preference white men prefer smaller woman then how come Asian doesn't come to mind? How come? I don't see Asian men with larger women. If I were *forced* to make a generalization, I would think Asian, then White. But it's more socially acceptable to put down "white". I am white and even I used to do it. But I'm done. Done with "white" and "white men" so casually, (even stylishly for some people) being bantered about as having a negative connotation. I'm done with "white guilt". For so many reasons. Done.
    • @Kingslayer: I have to say. I have a co-worker that ADMITTED to dating an obese woman, right now, because he got sick of the games attractive women played with him. That's pretty much it. So he's caved and went the path of least resistance, and obliviously settled.

      What's sad is, he's slender and pretty decent looking, dresses nice...and I could definately see him with a more attractive woman.

      Online dating just reinforces this...plain Janes are getting swamped with e mails. Anyone just remotely attractive are slammed....and thusly, builds their egos to the point that they themselves want washboard abs.

      I don't mind a woman with some chub on here, but the other day, I was fixed up by a friend and she had asked me to contact one of her single friends. She was chubby, wasn't really into that chub, but she has some facial expressions that I liked and I figured, "Well....I'll ask her out for drinks, chat with her, just give it a try...see what happens." Only because her friend introduced us...and I figured she'd also be open to it becasue we're both good friends with THAT friend.

      I didn't get a response.

      So I went back to said friend that fixed us up...I asked her what the deal was...she said, "She just doesn't find you attractive."

      And I laughed and said, "Has she not looked in a mirror lately?!'
    • @GirlwithQuestions: == bigger women with curves==

      I get a kick out how some people use the words "curves", to make light of the obesity.

      "Curvy" cannot be used in the same sentence as "Fat" or "obese". It's an attempt to sugar coat what the real deal is.

      If you look at Jabba the Hutt...THAT'S not curvy.
    • @Anonymous: Wow, how old is this thread? Sounds like you just got rejected by a curvy or fat girl? So what she's fat? She is a girl who wasn't interested... doesn't mean that she does not have standards... smh. Maybe the next fat girl will fall head over heals for you. Best of luck
    • @GirlwithQuestions: "Guys, I think you both have it wrong here. It's 2016 and all people should be treated equal."

      In response to a discussion about sexual preference, she says everyone should be treated EQUAL. So sexual preference is BAD, ok? Everyone should be "EQUAL"! Whatever that means!


      SJW alert! Bringing up irrelevant racial controversy for no reason.


      Preference is now "PREJUDICE"!

      She's a bit confused though, she says we are entitled to have a preference, but then accuses the original poster of "HATING" - i.e. you can only have a preference up to a point, in other words! Take it too far (by saying you don't find overweight women attractive) and you've crossed the line! Now you are on the side of HATE!

      And see how you can be a "real man" by dating an overweight woman. It proves you're virtuous because you date a fat girl. But if you date someone with a healthy weight, it's possible that you are one of those evil haters!


      False dichotomy alert! As if the only alternative to being OVERWEIGHT is too look like a SMALL CHILD. There is nothing in between!
    • @Kingslayer: You are severely misguided if you think large woman are desperate. I'm a big girl. I'm not desperate. I've had multiple opportunities over the last few years to date or even sleep with some men. I think I'm very pretty and I put myself together nicely. I do not and absolutely will not settle, which is why I'm still single at the age of 31. I absolutely will not lower my standards just to be able to be with a man and I don't expect the same in return. You know what? I'm satisfied with my life. I have an amazing career that I love and although it doesn't bring in a lot of money, it brings me a lot of joy and experiences. I travel the world. I do things most people will never be able to do, such watch a lion hunt up close and personal and I've walked the bushveld of South Africa on a conservation project. I've helped with a research project in Brazil, walking through the Amazon. I might be big, but I'm certainly not lazy and I certainly will never ever be with somebody just because I'm lonely. You know why? Because I'm not lonely. I'm satisfied. I'm content. I'm HAPPY! So shut the hell up with you're thinking you know how every fat girl thinks. You don't.
    • @Kingslayer: You are also forgetting that some people have medical conditions. I'm going to go out on a limb here and be completely transparent with you. I'm overweight and I am not suffering from a medical condition. So I myself am not excusing my own behavior while simultaneously defending people that actually have medical problems. It would be nice and easy for me to try and lie to myself and blame it on a thyroid problem or a hormonal problem , but the truth of the matter is I have trouble with caloric consumption. I have lost 100 lbs twice in my life and both times I looked pretty hot , but the guys I was attracting while skinny were...just not my type to put it bluntly.

      I happen to have very huge tits and a big butt. All my weight gets distributed to those areas. So when I lost the weight I looked good , but I just wasn't as curvy. I had to make a decision after the second weight loss which was continue to eat only 1000 calories a day or just stop worrying about my weight so much. I'm 5'3 so that amount of calories is fine.

      I was overweight starting at age one. I was also adopted and not breastfed and I've heard that can help children from a young age balance their weight and metabolism. I also played sports as a kid and was really good at them. I spent all my time outside running and kicking a soccer ball around. I also did gymnastics and the coaches were more than confused when I was able to perform some of the abdominal exercises the other skinny kids could. I always had a little layer of baby fat on my tummy but my legs and arms were thinner which made me look like a little leprechaun lol. I am pushing 30 and still have never had a serious health problem of any kind.

      I get sick twice a year and I don't go to the doctor. I get over it naturally. I work an active job where I'm standing and moving around about 7 hours a day. So I don't sit down at a desk like most people. The reason I mentioned having to decide about whether or not to focus on my weight doesn't mean that I want to eat junk food either I've always eaten pretty basic food like protein and vegetables. I like pasta , but I don't know any skinny people who don't eat pasta either. Yes, I'm aware that I need to cut out the bread and carbs and I continue to struggle with that every day and some days better than others. I'm now on an intermittent fasting diet where I eat 3 days a week and fast 4 days. I think people have this weird opinion that overweight people have no self control , but fasting isn't difficult for me I've always been able to ignore my body by using my mind. That goes for everything in my life sex, food , peeing even lol. I simply shift my focus and I can go for inhumane amounts of time without those needs being met or thought about.

      Why do I think I gained all the weight back after my second weight loss?

      1. I stopped focusing on my weight and started focusing on Ancient Greece , teaching myself Latin and learning three or four different languages coupled with chess lessons. Why? because at the core of my being that is who I am. I am more interested in intellectual challenges rather than physical challenges.

      2. The guys I was attracting while skinny were...vapid and only liked me because I was hot. I went through a period of obsessing about physical challenges and once I had conquered the physical challenge and lost 100 lbs I was left unchallenged and bored. People severely underestimate that when something doesn't just come naturally to you it takes up your time. So by that I mean that when you aren't born with a natural sense of how to regulate your weight you have to devote brain power time and energy into regulating it yourself and some of us are indeed more slanted toward intellectual aptitude. There's a reason that professors, teachers, and intellectuals tend to not be the hottest factions of American society. It's not a rule just an observation.

      3. I don't want to deceive potential mates. If I know I struggle with regulating my weight why on earth would I hook a guy while I'm hot only to have him divorce me or break up with me if I go through a period of struggling with my weight again? Why would I want a guy like that in the first place? Why would I place that kind of pressure on myself or others.

      4. The guys I attract while I'm thicker are nothing short of prince charming and to put it bluntly really hot (I only know this because of the mean stares I get from other women who can't figure out why on earth they are working so hard on their weight). I have one theory for this and I think it has to do with the concept of self acceptance. When I am worrying less about my weight and focusing more on what challenges my brain I am in my element. I am a fish and I am in the sea so some men are more easily able to see me for who I am. When I am obsessing over my body or weight I am a fish flopping around on land and while my perseverance is admirable I seem out of my element and unhappy.
    • @Bombtastic: This is a silly comment. We all know that the food we get in America is meant to make us unhealthy and buying (sort of) healthy food is heavily dependent on your wallet size. Just be happy that you were born into a decent socioeconomic circumstance to be able to avoid the unhealthy food making many Americans overweight and unhealthy.
    • @Kingslayer: Settling for what? They may be settling physically , but what about mentally? Is a short skinny guy settling or is only a tall skinny guy settling? Is a guy with ripped abs and bad acne settling? I just think you are confused about the term settling in general. I lost 100 lbs recently and became "hot" I had a gorgeous face when I was overweight and once I dropped a bunch of weight my face was still good lol. So I became really gorgeous and the men that approached me during this time were weirdos and creeps and you know shallow.... I hate to say this, but I still had a fat girl's personality and mind but a hot girl's body and face and that's like being a fish washed up on the beach all you see is sand and you just want to dive back into the ocean with all the interesting things to see. At the end of the day I've come to the conclusion that my appearance was distracting when I was skinnier. Men just couldn't stop staring and I guess quantity of quality is what I'm getting at here. Now that I've gained some of the weight back I'm only getting really quality guys. Because when you're gorgeous everyone approaches you and the types of people that approach you are the one's that value physical attractiveness. I got so many compliments from people I considered idiotic that the compliments landed like insults because I would never have taken their opinion seriously to begin with fat or skinny. I just don't get along with people that are obsessed with looks so when I lost the weight I was surrounded by people I didn't get along with because those people would approach me . Maybe if I had an uglier face with a skinnier body maybe I would have got more middle of the road people , but now I've gained weight and that vapid guy who I ended up hooking while I was skinny still creeps me on snapchat and I can't get rid of him , because it's like I was a fish who spent some time on the surface for awhile and now I'm back in the sea and he doesn't understand that I left the surface because I didn't like the people.
    • @girlwithqthinshaming: I think prejudice is treating someone differently based on their perceived differences. So like assuming a fat person is lazy and treating them in such a way that reflects that would be prejudice. That guy isn't prejudice as far as I can tell. I think everyone has a right to date who they are attracted to fat or skinny, short or tall, acne or no acne. I see it all the same. I've noticed a lot of guys with ugly faces and great bodies and all the sudden it's considered settling when a girl with a gorgeous face and no acne and not so great body are paired together? I mean personally I'm overweight and I consider acne to be well.....I'm a nice person so I won't say what I really think , but I don't treat people with acne differently and I don't go on message boards saying all people with acne are ugly and why would people want to date someone with acne? I've also been hot and skinny so I've been on both sides of the fence and being hot isn't what people hype it up to be at all. I was surrounded by really shallow people and all they could tell me was how gorgeous I was. It was boring so I left.
  • I agree with the concept that fat acceptance is misguided. This is a serious health issue that our country is dealing with and to ignore/accept it is foolish, lazy and simple minded. This isn't about 'empowerment' this is about self destruction - and why should anyone stand by silently as millions of our closest friends and family members decide to slowly commit suicide via heart disease and diabetes? To accept this - is absurd. Obesity has become the #1 source of preventable death in the US. And this is something we should 'celebrate'? Have people lost their f*cking minds?!? Fat acceptance movement needs to be brought to heel....and into nutritional awareness movement instead!

    However, whenever I see a slender person with a heavy person, I cant just assume the slender person has settled for the heavier person. There are some chubby chasers out there, or other people who don't put as much emphasis on physical fitness or body types...some people simply don't care as much. Its impossible to make a blanket statement of 'Oh, I bet that person settled'
    Edited by the author
    • @Hierophant: I think you're confused about the society you live in. All Americans are addicted to something. Our society is toxic and has been rapidly declining. Let's face it we were never the most intellectual country. Money is our God , Murder and rape is our history. The fact that a few people have managed to accumulate money and get plastic surgery or even run a couple hours a day while the society is collapsing around them really isn't what we should be focusing on. If focusing on physical appearance makes you feel better and more able to cope with a collapsing country then congrats that's your addiction, but don't expect everyone else to share it. Some of us are more focused on the bigger picture plaguing America. For starters our food is poisoning us and we have giant corporations profiting of Americans being in poor health. Telling people to not eat and run more will not fix the wide spread problem of a country that poisons its citizens from birth.
  • Everyone has their preferences. As long as their preference is legal, then I don't care, and won't judge them.
  • I think we all meet people for their appearance but we stay with them for who they are. Appearance certainly doesn't define who you are.
  • Media is pushing fat acceptance. The younger the person the more impressionable they are. It's indoctrination at it's finest...doesn't just happen at school.
    • @Bombtastic: Yes, it's a shame....when I was overseas, most women or people were thin, hit the Airport terminal in the United States. Nothing but a sea of obese people. I think it's funny, because it was a self-awareness period since traveling abroad....and then coming back to the states made me go, "Yikes! Now I see the difference!"
    • @Anonymous: I like how everyone blames something else for their fatness.
      It's called self control and exercise a VERY small fraction of people have actual biological issues with losing weight but they still can. People need to quit accepting laziness as the norm.
    • @Bombtastic: People blame a lot in this country. Our lifestyle in the states is so unnatural with all the fast food and no exercise.
    • @Bombtastic: Look let me preface this by saying not only am i a chick, but I'm 365lbs. I've lost about 240lbs believe it or not. I have both p.c.o.s. which aid weight gain rapidly and make it nearly impossible to lose on top of both a thyroid issue that causes weight gain and a problem with my pituitary gland which also aids in rapid weight gain. Even if i eat small meals and excersize my brains out, without about 4 surgeries being thin is nearly impossible. And I've had two very handsome loves of my life. One that died the other became addicted so i had to exit after abuse began. Anyway, this comment isn't so much about me really as fat women at least over all. Would it surprise u to know that over half of there women were raped or molested as children? Over half. Last statistic i read was 59%. That's a staggering amount. In the morbidly and super morbidly category those percentage rise to nearly 77% and 93% respectively. I'm not making an excise per se, after losing so much weight and trying with all my might to lose more and be healthy (although dietarily i was always doing well except for what i drank-pop and gatorade after 2 work outs a day- both full of sugar). My point is, they may not have a physical illness that caused the weight, but i know after my personal expierences (raped by 4 different ppl- all before 20- one for 9 years starting at age three- i won't have kids and had to have reconstructive surgery bc of him) they are brain sick. They blame themselves and until ppl seek extreme therapy both physical and psychological they will never lose the weight, and if they do it WILL return. Only healing their minds will they heal their bodies. What these women should get is ur compassion or at the very least ur pity not ur condemnation and contempt.
  • Just because a woman is plus-sized doesn't mean she isn't taking care of herself. Body structure cannot be settled with just dieting. Not everyone was created to be a size 2 . I can't stand when people just automatically assume because someone is big I think means they are not trying to do something about it they just sit around. Some people have underlying health issues that contribute to it.
  • It's a common misconception that all men like skinny women, no these men likely aren't settling, they have probs always been into bigger women, it's not something you choose. I just have no reaction when I see a skinny chick, I recognize a pretty face when I see one but I'm just not attracted a lot of the time
  • Some guys like bigger women. Some men may just like the person she is. If the boyfriend really cared, he would try to exercise with the woman for her own health. I know it's hurtful to bigger women out there, but I don't think guys should feel bad if they don't want a bigger women. There's a bigger issue other than their appearance but rather their lifestyle. Appearance is not everything, but may reflect who you are as a person, status, health, mentality, education, etc. when you go into the city, you barely see bigger people. Why do you think that is? What kind of people live in the city? Why are more obese people outside the city? People who are educated are more aware of a better lifestyle. In general people who can afford to live in the city are goal oriented. They take care of their bodies more. They stay away from fast food. America has a different food culture in different environments. Outside the city where cost of living is lower, there are more advertisements for fast food. People think of ways to be more "cost effective" to save money. it's actually not cost effective. People grew up this way. I see all the time on Facebook about memes dissing thin women and that curves are better. I'm sorry but rolls of fat are not the curves men run after. Don't get curves and rolls confused. Healthy curves as in some meat on your hips and booty, yes. I myself do not want a fat man. I don't want a man who is lazy and careless enough to let himself ruin his body and health. I see men like this as a person that is just lazy in life. That's my mentality of it. I know it may not apply to everyone. Especially at a young age. If I try to look good and take care of my body, I expect my man to do the same. Is that evil? I don't think so. Big may be beautiful, but sure is not healthy. Some women and men are just unnaturally big. It's called an epidemic for a reason. I try to get my mom to workout with me because her heart health is declining and she is gaining weight. I'm annoyed that she would do that to herself. I need her here in this world as long as possible!
  • I've never been into fat girls. I'd never ever settle for one either. Perhaps some of these guys are just beta males glad a chick is giving them attention.
  • Indeed. And...why do the guys want to be with these over sized women? Not seldom I see well trained guys with women fat as whales. Why? Why won't you want an equally well trained woman? Could be the blokes are complete twats, so that no good looking woman wants them...?
  • Hey the fat acceptance narrative dont work in reverse where are the 130lbs girls wanting to date 250lbs guys ??
  • How about try minding your own business? The weight of others should NOT concern you this much at all! 😂

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