Dating someone who has different interests

Insults were flying, trash talk was everywhere, buttons were being mashed, and all eyes were fixated on my monitor as we pummelled each other to bits. This is what happens at my house at least once a week. We spend the afternoon trash talking, farting, eating junk food, and talking about women. But not for my girlfriend. In fact, my girlfriend and I have almost no common interests. I only watch two kinds of movies:

How Important Are Common Interests in a Relationship?

Yesterday, my husband and I had the dumbest fight in the history of our relationship. In what universe is it reasonable to expect Waffle House-style portions from Pain Quotidien? You knew exactly what you were getting into when I told you I was going there! It may seem counterintuitive, but this fight was actually a great example of why our relationship works.

I am profoundly grateful for our differences. And they are, uh, legion. I can remember the first moment I saw Chris. We were teenagers, and Chris was the new kid in school. He was walking toward me down a hallway—this tall, athletic guy—very much my type, with dark eyes and dark hair. We made eye contact and, right away, I felt an intense emotional connection. In one of the nicest surprises of my life, Chris turned out to be smart, kind and funny.

But he did not turn out to be interested in any of the things that I care about; he plays video games while I read, he designs webpages while I write. You could say his waffle iron is half-empty, while mine is half-full. Talking about this publicly can get awkward, fast. People will expect a divorce announcement to follow.

In fact, those surveyed ranked shared interests as more essential than good sex or shared political beliefs. Conventional wisdom goes that couples must have common interests to be happy. But what if the conventional wisdom is wrong? There is no single secret. Today, we expect much more from marriage, including emotional fulfillment and like-mindedness as well as help with the dishes. Hearing this was liberating for me, for obvious reasons. Ten years in, I can still count on one hand the tastes and hobbies that Chris and I have in common.

We both enjoy Eminem, zombie movies, and vacationing in Colorado. Both of us like Mexican food, the more inauthentic the better. And neither of us believe in an afterlife, as much as we would like to. After that, we depart. I come from a white, conservative and devoutly Catholic household. I have black in-laws, Mexican in-laws, white in-laws and Asian in-laws.

Their unconditional acceptance of one another took a long time for me to understand, because in some ways it was new to my experience. For years, Chris and I had the same conversation. I like that trick. In short, marrying someone so different from myself has broadened my experience, introduced welcome novelty to my life, and deepened my understanding of love. The emotional connection we have was, and is, more significant than any shared interest.

Full disclosure: They have to find their unique ways of strengthening the emotional connection between them. Of course, most of those unique ways will involve spending time together pleasantly. Chris and I have found that this holds true for us, too. It quickly became clear that Chris—who would never have been there of his own accord—was the only person in the audience to have read the book.

A couple of weeks ago, he took me to my first professional basketball game, and I was surprised to find the game not boring but completely gripping—almost too much so. Even a wrong-size waffle can make you happy. Skip to navigation Skip to content. Ideas Our home for bold arguments and big thinkers. Ideas , ST , marriage , relationships , love.

The more we dated, the more we realized how different our hobbies were. In fact, we only . I'm saying date someone with different interests. Learn from her. Being with someone who has opposite interests means you can take turns in deciding what kind of date you want to have. Dates will always be.

O pposites attract. You have probably heard that before. I have heard it many times, and it seems to hold true in marriage.

To the outside eye, my boyfriend and I don't really share a common interest.


Important things to have in common


Happy couples only need to have these 2 things in common

Finding love is not easy, whether in person or online. It is for this reason that many shy away from love, until they meet someone with whom they share a common interest. No matter your point of connection, common interests have been the foundation of many relationships that might have otherwise never began. Although most couples start off their relationship with different personalities and interests, there are always one or two things they enjoy doing together that keep the relationship going. And it is important that these interests be cultivated over time so that they balance out with personal interests that they may be involved in on their own. Most times, the effort put in will result in a healthy relationship that can culminate into a lifetime commitment. Even so, there are some advantages that dating couples with similar interests get to enjoy and they include:. Generally, making a decision to date someone requires a lot of soul-searching to ensure that you are with the right person. Even so, choosing a person that enjoys similar interests is one sure way of ensuring that you are with someone that will make life fun for a long time.

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Dating someone with different interests. Is dating good or bad.

9 Reasons People With Different Interests Make The Romantic Couples

How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game , which essentially argues that today's dating market is suffering from a so-called " man shortage. While there are 5. The book raises some interesting questions about what we look for in a mate, as well as some alternative solutions for the marriage-minded among us. But Birger also suggests that this "man shortage" might result in a surprising trend: At face value, the suggestion that women date outside their class seems hopelessly old-fashioned, not to mention politically incorrect. After all, we're living in the 21st century, not in the highly stratified social world of Downton Abbey. However, the uncomfortable truth is we do gravitate to partners who have the most in common with us, which means we tend to date within our social classes and education levels. So what happens when modern singles venture outside their socioeconomic pools and engage in what Birger calls "mixed-collar dating"? A relatively rare attraction: Despite what Disney movies might tell you, it's rare for people to hook up across classes. That's because research shows that most of us just feel more comfortable dating people at similar educational and economic levels. To a degree, this trend makes logical sense.

Happy couples only need to have these 2 things in common

H ey, guess what? I got married two weeks ago. I think most newlyweds do this — ask for relationship advice, I mean, not shit the same bed part — especially after a few cocktails from the open bar they just paid way too much money for. See, I have access to hundreds of thousands of smart, amazing people through my site. So why not consult them? I sent out the call the week before my wedding: What is working for you and your partner?

How To Find Common Interests (Not Compromise) in Your Relationship

People with opposite interests also last in relationships more often than not. Furthermore, these relationships seem to be the ones that are most fun and have the best dynamic. Here are 9 reasons why. Having a partner who has different interests means that both of you get the chance to introduce each other to new things. This is also a way of sharing a part of yourselves with each other. Maybe you learned how to play video games for your partner while your partner learned to love dessert because you do.

My girlfriend and I have no common interests

New merch: January 23, 5: I feel that the limited free time I have is going more into the relationship and less into pursuing my personal interests. Has anyone dealt with this situation successfully, or is a relationship without much hobby overlap doomed to fail? I am I work pretty long hours and have only a few hours of free time at night each day.

Is there a difference between compatibility and commonalities? I feel good about this new development, as I think it means I have more self-confidence, am less competitive, and just long for someone who understands the pros and cons of being creative for a living. This makes perfect sense to me; variety is one of my favorite things. But I do want common interests with a man, and the creative connection is now pretty important to me. Would an artistic, sensitive man ever want to date an artistic, sensitive woman? Or would we be incompatible because of these shared qualities? Most men ultimately gravitate toward women who make them feel sexy, funny and trusted.

When you are meeting and communicating with matches most people are trying to establish whether they have anything in common with each other. When we say we have a lot in common with someone we usually mean we like doing the same things, enjoy the same food or have the same social habits. While these things can make a relationship run smoothly because you are more likely to want to do the same things — on their own shared interests are not usually enough to ensure a lasting relationship. There are however lots of couples who have been together for many years who share very few interests. What they have in common is values. While you may have many different tastes and opinions about things your values will determine the choices you make together as a couple. Your values are the fundamental beliefs that affect every aspect of your life.

Q&A: Can a relationship work with different interests and backgrounds? — Susan Winter
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