I am a pet lover.

Otherwise I never would have posted that video that proclaimed, 'The struggle is real!' as a bulldog huffed and puffed it onto a lawn chair, barely making it up there before struggling to turn himself around then falling off the chair.

Or I never would have shared those chicken-shaming photos on Facebook that proclaimed: 'My owner had to buy eggs at the grocery store because I'm a freeloading slacker' and 'I like to chase and bite the kitties.'

What kind of pet owners would we be if we didn't make our pets the source of our amusement?

It's payback for all the times our pets have peed on our watermelons or any plastic bag from Walmart.

Or maybe that's just my dog.

Pet lover aside, it's sheer bunkum what some companies in the United Kingdom are offering to employees.

It is estimated about one out of 20 pet owners in the U.K. have been offered 'pawternity' leave.

Just like with maternity and paternity leave, meant in part as time for parents to bond with their newborn children, pet owners at pet-loving companies can take time off to bond with their new pets and help them settle into their homes.

This is in addition to standard holiday pay, and pet-owners are allowed to take a few hours or up to a few weeks off, depending on the company.

Not to say I couldn't have used a week off to help one of my canine buddies, Gunther Aurelius Khan Shults, settle into his forever home.

We picked him from the Wichita County Humane Society because he was cute.

Little did we know what cute would cost.

And little did I know that Yorkies, a breed with notoriously small bladders, are notoriously hard to potty train. They leave little evidence on their target areas, let's say, because of those notoriously small bladders, which hold a notoriously minuscule amount of bladder fluid.

I did actually use some of my personal time off to be at home 24 hours a day to dole out some emergency potty training (my carpet thanked me). Every time Gunny looked like his notoriously small bladder was acting up, I took him outside.

Even at 4 a.m.

While it was snowing.

Pawternity time would have been lovely — and maybe it's a given for pet companies (pet food manufacturer Mars Petcare embraces pawternity leave) — but it also isn't really necessary. While it's an extra perk for some companies, pawternity leave for most would be ridiculously extravagant. I imagine personal time-off would cover all manner of, well, personal time an employee needs, including pet-bonding time.

Oddly, pawternity leave might not be as much hokum as 'meternity' leave, as suggested by author Meghann Foye, who wrote a book about why women without children should also get time off for 'me' time.

Foye has been slammed for comparing maternity leave to some kind of vacation, when it is far from that.

Recovering from a C-section, settling into a nursing schedule, waking up every three hours to feed a newborn, dealing with unruly hormones or postpartum depression because of said unruly hormones, and being practically shut in for a few weeks is nothing like relaxing vacation time.

'I couldn't help but feel envious when parents on staff left the office at 6 p.m. to tend to their children, while it was assumed co-workers without kids would stay behind to pick up the slack,' she writes in her book, 'Meternity.'

I'm not sure I have ever expected co-workers to pick up any slack. I'm sure many moms feel the same way.

But once you get past the awful comparison, what Foye is really suggesting is that employees should be entitled to some kind of sabbatical.

I'm not sure employers would agree with that, though I'm all for it. Americans are entrenched in the workaholic culture and work entirely too hard.

One week away from all that is hardly any time at all to refuel before getting back to the daily grind.

I imagine myself in Belize somewhere, with Gunther and Chihuahua Georgie, the other family pet (the one who has something against round fruit and Walmart bags), lying a hammock, watching the sunset and bonding before returning to the high-stress, deadline-oriented world of journalism.

The struggle is real, people.

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