Don't Give Holiday Gifts



Gift giving is nice in theory, but it's rarely a truly worthwhile exercise, especially when it comes to far-flung friends and relatives. You might love each other and care about each other, but that doesn't mean you know about the headphones or decorative pillows each other have been eyeing, and you probably don't share the kind of intimacy that allows you to say, "This isn't quite my taste, but thank you!" Which is fine and understandable! But begs the question: Why do we all put each other through this? What if we all agreed instead to just banish the ritual? Wouldn't that bring its own kind of holiday cheer?


Then there's the most radical alternative: Spending no money. There are plenty of other ways, after all, to outwardly express your love, gratitude and festiveness. Instead of a mass gift exchange, you and your loved ones could trim the tree, cook a big meal together, listen to Christmas music, or take a drive to look at all the neighbourhood lights. For long distance folks, there's Skype calls, letters, Facebook posts, and you know, other forms of human connection that aren't tied to consumerism. It might not be literally wrapped up with a bow, but as the old Grinch himself learned: Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store.

It should be said that gifts themselves aren't necessarily the problem - if you feel compelled to give, you should! Especially when it comes to people you really want to acknowledge such as teachers, postmen, the kiddos in your life, or your work bestie. The trouble is with the holiday-mandated exchange, not the basic expression of appreciation or affection.

If you do plan to try to forego gifts this year, start making moves now, and remember that the key is to not treat it like a death, but rather, the chance to do something new. You should prepare yourself to manage people's feelings (many of us are way too used to that already), but people will probably be less offended than you think, especially if you make it less about banishing a beloved holiday ritual and more about putting a fresh spin on it. Everyone is fond of saying it's the thought that counts, so whether you'd want to stop faking that thought, or want to find a way to better reflect it, no one can fault you for trying to bring some sincerity into the holiday fold.


    Buying things is the worst. Feeling obligated to buy things just because of certain days makes it even worse. It's a bizarre time when you suggest to your family that they join you in the "no gifts" approach to holidays. For Christmas, we compromised with a Secret Santa, but hopefully soon it'll be no gifts - just a plate of food to share, a few beers and a good old fashioned Die Hard marathon (obviously).

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