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A Word About My Sexuality

When searching for a gaming guide to the wonderfully addictive Transport Tycoon, I stumbled upon a letter that I could not resist posting, because it is wholly true of my sexuality.

Maybe you care more about a person's emotions than their body. Have you ever gone through "phases" or "moods" where you think that boys are more attractive than girls or vice versa? Maybe you think that a lot of boys are beautiful but still see beauty in girls as well.

If you have any feelings like what I just talked about, you might be bisexual. There is really nothing wrong with that. It means you can love whoever you want. Unfortunately, it also means you could have some difficulties ahead in your life when dealing with other people.

See, a lot of people don't understand what bisexual really means. Sometimes they think that it means you have to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time, or that you think it's OK to cheat on your wife or girlfriend for casual gay sex. Sometimes they think that you are gay but not willing to admit it. Sometimes they think that you can't decide whether you want to be gay or straight. Well, they are wrong if they think any of those things. To be bisexual means that you fall in love with someone regardless of their gender.

When you come out, a lot of the advice you might find for gay boys still applies. On the other hand, bisexuals encounter much more misunderstanding than gays. Even within the queer communtiy, there are many who believe those things described in the previous paragraph. But, you know what? You can deal with it. You are strong. Some people are willing to listen, and you can tell them what being bisexual is really about. Other people might not; you will eventually get used to ignoring them.

The author also clarified two misunderstandings that I have found both the straight and gay communities dogmatically promulgate:

Misconception #1: Bisexuals are just confused.

I actually heard this opinion from a gay friend of mine. I find this very ironic, considering that homosexuality is sometimes attributed to confusion by heterosexuals. I am bisexual, and that means I am capable of being attracted to and falling in love with members of either sex. I don't see any reason to limit myself to either gender.

Misconception #2: The concepts of bisexuality and exclusivity are incompatible.

I can see how people might think this. A bisexual does not, simply by being bisexual, require romantic or sexual attention from members of both sexes. Yes, some bisexuals probably have both a boyfriend and a girlfriend, but this is easily comparable to having more than one boyfriend or more than one girlfriend. It has nothing to do with bisexuality. Rather, gender is of little importance to a person who is bisexual. I hold the ideal of exclusivity in high regard. My bisexuality only becomes relevant when I am seeking a new romantic partner.

The truth

I do not claim to know everything about being bisexual, though I have learned much in a very short time. It basically comes down to this much: when I am looking for a special relationship, why does it have to be with a woman? For that matter, why can't it be? I honestly don't see the need for any limitations.

Thank you David. I could not have said it better.