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Can Adrian Grenier Sell You Some Fussy Beer?



Oh, but how can a beer be persnickety? Well, it’s not easy! His Churchkey beers have foregone the built-in pop-top opener. They require a puncturing device (a church key) to pierce the metal and create an opening. It’s the nostalgia of inconvenience, and he’s thrilled to sell it to you today.

Grenier loves a salesman’s challenge. He doesn’t need a good product, just a good pitch and a firm handshake. He just needs a million-watt smile worth a million bucks, and a jaw so sharp it could cut like these metal-puncturing tools he’s going to sell you. He can talk a dog off of a meat truck, sell space heaters in the Bahamas, coals in Newcastle, and owls in Athens. He has powers of persuasion, a twinkle in his eye, and a spring in his step. Logic is useless; your sense of reason has no business here. Not while the dimpled salesman can nod assuredly and tell you about a great new opportunity.

Now can Adrien Grenier sell you an unimpeachably sealed metal canister of golden fermentation, or can’t he? Oh, how great. You won’t regret your decision.