Pain
"Diagnosed with arthritis with AWFUL migraines, I began (reluctantly) taking methadone, which I MISTAKENLY believed to be a medication solely reserved for heroin addicts. Tired of the stomach damage of aspirin-like pain aids, I tried it. The results were nothing short of miraculous. No side effects! I implore those who want to try this medicine, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, TAKE ONLY AS DIRECTED! It can be dangerous otherwise. IF TAKEN PROPERLY, THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE WILL IMPROVE DRAMATICALLY BUT YOU MUST BE RESPONSIBLE AND ADHERE TO THE INSTRUCTIONS."