Constipation
"So a bit about me
I am a regular guy, regular build, height, size. Aged 61 and a Leo (not that this makes a difference). 
When I say I&#039;m a regular guy I mean that in the last 60 odd years I have been as regular as clockwork in the BM (Bowel Movement) department That was until last Saturday morning.
WARNING GRAPHIC DETAILS FOLLOW: (Written in laymen&#039;s terms)
Day 1:  Saturday
I awoke went to the loo, nothing happened!   I sat there needing a wee and if you are like me during or shortly after I wee I poo.  Not today!
Got up off the loo and went about my day. Several times though the day I went and sat on the loo and tried to pee, with just a trickle for my efforts. I felt that I really needed a poo. 
As the day went on I felt almost as if each bum cheek was solid, I mean rock hard. (That&#039;s not good)I was thinking to myself. Still unable to poo and pushing on each bum cheek to try and move stuff about a bit in the hope that I might be able to squeeze a bit out. NOPE! Went to bed.
Day 2: Sunday
I awoke in the morning really really needing a wee and a poo.  Still rock hard bum cheeks but now liquid poo was dripping/running out of my bum.  This persisted throughout the day every time I sat on the loo.  I spent four hours sitting there trying desperately to go the pain was so bad I was literally screaming in pain. The pain was situated mostly around my perineum.  
I would describe pain as having an elephant standing with its back legs on your dick and its front legs bouncing on your bladder OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOuch! This continued all day.
I tried two table spoons of olive oil mixed with fresh lemon juice and Loads of water. NOTHING!
Day 3: Monday 
Woke up went the loo worked on massaging each bum cheek had a small motion when I say small I mean the size of a pea. I was however able to pea (opps I mean pee) still rock hard impacted bum dripping with runny poo. 
I worked on each bum cheek rubbing and massaging as I sat on the loo for what seemed like most of the day gradually I was able to work most of it out as it became slightly softer.
Day 4: Tuesday
Woke up still unable to poo but weeing with ease when I needed to Bum cheeks felt normal (bit saggy as I&#039;m getting older, I used to be such a fit tasty kind of guy with a great arse).  Today I am getting worried as I have never had anything like this happen to me I have always been fit and active never taking any time off.
I go on the internet and find this forum. After looking at loads of others
I am not anti-meds but only use them as a last resort if all else seems to fail. (I am a forth degree Reiki Master Practitioner and a black belt so fairly fit most of life) 
I remember my mother used Milk of Magnesia so after reading the comments here went and got some and took 15ml at 17:00 (I did read the instructions but decided to take some) my thinking was  before I go to bed wrong! Nothing happened so at 23:00 I took another 10ml and went bed.
Day5: Wednesday 
I awoke feeling as I had done for the last 4 days still wanting a poo  desperately wanting a poo and pissed off that the MOM had not worked yet. I sat on the loo had pee and and nothing!
Went outside to inflate my wife&#039;s car tyre which has a very slow puncture so got the compressor out attached it to the valve and as I bent over I thought to myself I think I need to go to the loo. So slowly walked back indoors (no urgency at all) sat on the loo and my bum exploded in an instant with such force that it truly stunned me OMG!
No pain. No cramp. No nothing; almost no sensation at all, except the most amazing feeling of not being full of poo (which I have been accused of on more than one occasion) (wrongly I have to say being a Leo apart from the last 5 poo filled days)
Been twice again since this morning it&#039;s now 14:15 and having just finished this felt I had to say is fanbloodytastic.
Be warned it can happen very very quickly and almost violently when it does, in my case without any warning and I&#039;m happy to say without any pain or cramping at all (just lots and lots of noise and splashing and shouts from me (not of pain but of great relief. That must be the understatement of the year)
10/10 for Milk of magnesium 
Once again Mr Regular!"