JJ tried to write s letter to Theo. JJ had trouble writing the letter. When Jennifer called, he wrote the letter to her. While he was writing the letter, he thought about her telling him that Jack died. JJ wrote to Jennifer about the terrible way he acted when he came to town. He thought about seeing Jack in 2011. Jack gave him advice about going back to school. JJ thought about spending time with Jack and Jennifer. He prepared the letter to Jennifer. JJ started his letter to Abby. He thought about when Chad told him about proposing to Abby. He also thought about being there for Abby when Chad broke her heart. JJ wrote a letter to Hope. He remembered how Hope was there for him when he became a detective. He gave Hope his pin for bravery and asked her to look out for Jennifer and Abby. JJ wrote to Gabi and apologized for their relationship not working out. JJ remembered more times with Jack and Jennifer. JJ wrote a letter to Abe. He gave him his badge. He pulled out a gun. JJ wrote a letter to Lani. He explained how he felt about her and why he had to end their relationship. JJ wrote a letter to Theo. He thought about the last conversation he had with Theo. He prepared to go to the town square to take his life the way he took Theo's life.
Jj: Police! Freeze! [Tense music] Drop the weapon. I said drop it! Look, I don't want to shoot you, but I will. For the last time, drop the gun! Theo: [Breathing heavily] Jj: I wanted you to drop the weapon. Why didn't you just listen to me? Can you hear me? Huh? Behind your back. Theo: [Gasping] Hark the herald angels sing Glory to The newborn king [Melancholy string music] Male announcer: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the "days of our lives." [Soft orchestration] [Melancholy string music] Jj: I don't know any words to express how sorry I am. I can't make this about me. [Phone ringing] [Beep] [Exhales deeply] [Sniffles] It's christmas eve and you just called. I'm ashamed to say I didn't pick up. I know you want to hear me say that I'm okay, but... I can't tell you that. I do want you to know you're the best mom I could ever ask for. I'm sorry you've had to lose so much. [Rock music] [Phone ringing] Harry: Hey, it's your mom again. Jj: Just let it go. Harry: Have a heart. It's the third time she's rung up; just talk to her. Jj: She just needs to leave me alone. [Phone beeps] Hey, what's up? Jennifer: Jj. I am so sorry. I have bad news about your dad. [Somber music] Jj: You've had to do so much on your own. I'm sorry I didn't help you more. I know I was a selfish jerk when I came back to salem. I was horrible to you. To everyone. You were grieving for dad and I made it all so much worse. What i never told you before-- the reason I was such an ass was that I was mad at myself. Because I'd let dad down. [Door opens] Mom? Mom, you home? Jack: Jj. What are you doing here? Jj: Hey, dad. Surprise. For you, it's always leap over look. Jack: Yes, this is a surprise. Jj, what are you doing home? Christmas break doesn't start for another three weeks. Jj: I quit. I was flunking out, so I didn't see a point in staying and taking the exams. Jack: Son... [Sighs] What was it, son? Was the coursework just too hard? Or did you party all day and rock and roll all night, huh? Jj: Why would you say that? Jack: Hey! You're my kid. I did the same thing. Do you have any idea how many schools I was kicked out of? Jj: You? Jack: Jj, I screwed up so many ways, so many different times. I thank god and your mom that you and your sister turned out to be really great human beings. Jj: Maybe abigail did. Me not so much. [Soft music] Jack: I think you just don't know it yet. This is a graduation gift from my father for when I finally got across the finish line. I just wanted you to have it. Here. Jj: What? Jack: I'm giving it to you now so you know how much faith I have in you. Jj: I can't take this. You used to write every one of your stories with this, and it must have cost a fortune. Jack: My dad gave that to me after I'd already succeeded. I didn't need it then. I needed to know that he had faith in me while I was failing. Jj, come on. Come on, you can do this. You just gotta know that you can. I want you to go back to that school, give it another try. Jj: Uh, I can'T. I blew all my money on the plane ticket home. Jack: I'll pay for it. Jj: Mom's gonna be really upset when she finds out about this. Jack: Let's not tell her. It'll be our little secret, huh? We will get you back to london town before anyone even knows you were gone. Jj: [Sighs] He told me he had faith in me. And then I completely let him down. [Dramatic music on tv] Jack: So... did clarence finally get his wings? Jj: Of course he did. Jennifer: Yes. Jj: "Teacher says, every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings." Jennifer: Get his wings, yes. Jack: You got it memorized! Jj: Yeah, we watch it every christmas, since I can remember. Mom, tissue? I still don't get why you cry. The movie has a happy ending. Jennifer: Are you kidding me? The movie pushes you to that point because jimmy stewart is literally pushed to the edge. I mean, he's standing on a bridge and he thinks that his life is worth more dead than alive. And I mean, he gives up everything. He gives up his dreams and he wants to help so many people. Jack: And then his whole family and friends come around. Jennifer: Stop it. Jack: And they save him, which proves that it is indeed A... wonderful life. [Dramatic music] Jj: Unlike george bailey, I managed to screw up every second chance I've ever been given. Mom, I want you to have this pen. I hope you'll think of dad when you use it. [Somber music] [Exhales sharply] [Sniffles] [Soft music] [Door shuts] Jj: Dear abigail, I've been thinking a lot about when we were kids. Dad taught me how to shave with an old-school razor. I still use one even though it's a pain to find the blades for it. Mom taught me how to drive, and sometimes I still drive on the wrong side of the road. And you-- you taught me how to fight. I wish I could have looked out for you the way you looked out for me. I never told you this, in fact I acted surprised when you told me you were going to marry chad. The truth is, I already knew that he'd proposed to you. Abigail isn't here. Chad: I, uh... yeah, I know. I, uh... I'm actually here to see you. I asked abby to marry me. Jj: [Sighs] Crap. Um... and you want to see me... wow, good god. My dad's dead so you're asking me for her hand in marriage. Chad: Yeah. Um, yes. Jj: This means she didn't turn you down flat. Chad: I really want you to be on board with this, jj. Jj: Okay, well, you don't always get what you want. Chad: Please. For her sake. Jj: Don't give me that. This is for your sake. If I go along with this and pretend it's okay, it'll make things easier for you. Chad: Look, you know how important family is to her. Jj: You look. I'll talk to her about this. When she tells me about it. But just to be clear, I'm gonna handle this my way, like the rest of my family. So, look, let me just say this. If you hurt her in any way, you'll answer to me. Just tell me what I can do. Abigail: Nothing. I'm like grandma, mentally ill. There's nothing you can do about it. Jj: I told dad that I'd look after you. I--I never should have let chad... Abigail: You never should have let him what? Jj: Nothing. Abigail: Don't blame chad, jj. You can't blame yourself. Sometimes you just can't fix what's broken. Jj: When we were little, everything seemed so simple. I could sing some dumb song I made up and get you to laugh. I hoped that someday I could teach thomas how to play. This one's for thomas. I hope you'll find someone to teach him to play, since I won't be able to. [Ominous musical flourish] [Soft music] Jj: Dear hope, I remember you standing there at the pd when I got this pin. Roman: Congratulations. Officer deveraux. You risked your own life to save that of another. You have made the force, your friends, your family, very proud. Good work, jj. [Applause] Abe: Congratulations. Hope: Hey. Jj: [Stuttering] Hope: I am so proud of you. Oh. Jj: I better get back to work. Hope: Wait, wait. I want to show you this. I sent this to your mom and abigail. You didn't tell them, did you? Jj: I didn't want it to be a big deal. Abe: Oh, but it is, jj. It's a really big deal. Roman: Uh, jj. Could I talk to you for a minute? Hope: Oh, abe, you said you wanted to, um, take a look at the budget projection. Abe: Oh, yes. Hope: Yeah, let me show you. Roman: Listen, I, um, just something I want you to think about, okay? You were very brave. You saved that woman's life, and that required a certain impulsiveness that most people don't have. You have it. And that's what I want you to think about, okay? Keep it in check. Know when to use it, know when not to use it. Otherwise, you could get yourself in a lot of trouble. You understand? Jj: Yeah. Roman: All right. Again, way to go, man. Jj: Roman was right. I did get myself in trouble. But you kept encouraging me, hope. Roman: Jj, damn it. You know, a few weeks ago, I'm pinning a medal on you. Now I gotta explain to the da, the mayor, and the public why a perp is walking out of this damn building, scot-free. Are you just too damn lazy to do your job? Or is simply beyond you to follow basic departmental procedures? [Door slams] Hope: Believe it or not, it could have been a lot worse. Jj: How? I let roman down. I let everyone down. [Laughter] Jennifer: I know. I hate it. I just want you to stay right here and don't move. And you're gonna help me in the kitchen. Hope: Well, let me help. Jennifer: No, no, no. You are the guest of honor. Sit, sit, sit. We will be right back. Hope: Hey. Jj: Welcome back. Didn't realize how much I needed your advice until it wasn't there. Glad you're back. Hope: Really nice for you to say. Not sure I deserve a party, though. I was thrown off the force because I killed someone. Jj: A really bad someone, who had been goading you for months. Hope: But at the end of the day, stefano dimero was a human being. What I did was wrong. I hope you never have to find out what it's like to live with killing someone. Jj: I got this pin for bravery, and now I want you to have it, because you really are one of the bravest people I know. Not just because of everything you've been through. Standing up for me cost you your career. I almost cost you your future with rafe. Thank you for always being there for me. I promised my dad when we scattered his ashes that I'd take care of my mom and abigail. Please, take care of them for me. We can't stay here! Jj: Dear gabi, thanks for the card and for thinking of me on christmas. It was only a couple of years ago that we were just getting to know each other, and you were asking me about paige. It's really sad you didn't know paige was your sister. You would have loved her. Gabi: You did, didn't you? Jj: Very much. Gabi: It's just hard to realize that I'll never have the chance to have a single conversation with her, you know? With your own sister. Jj: She wasn't a big talker. But if she had something really important to say, she'd write a song about it. Paige's music is really all we have left of her. She wrote these songs for me, but I want you to have them. I want you to know as much about your sister as you possibly can. I'm sorry things didn't work out for us, but I'm so glad we stayed friends. I know that just being friends is even harder for you and chad. But you know better than anyone that walking away from the people you love is sometimes the kindest thing you can do for them. Jack: You know, not a day goes by that I don't regret the times that pull away from you and the family. But I always manage to tell myself that you would be better off without me. Jj: That's not true. We're always better when you're here. Jennifer: Jj, let me get this straight. Are you telling me that you were there when theresa overdosed? Jj: I know I should have told you before this. I was just so freaked out. I'm sorry I lied to you. I've just screwed up so many times. Let everyone down. Jennifer: Hey. Yeah, yeah, you've made some mistakes, but you know what, in the end, you didn't leave theresa there. You saved her life, jj. You know, when you were born, the doctors told me that it would be a miracle if you lived. And guess what. You showed them. You lived. So you know what that tells me? That tells me that you have a reason to be here, that you have a--that you have a purpose. Don't ever forget that. Jj: I have a great mother, so I know what I'm talking about. Arianna's lucky to have you in her life. And I was lucky to have you in mine. Yours, jj. Hey, man. Oh! [Gentle string music] Jennifer: [Sniffles] I don't know how many times your dad cheated death. I thought he was charmed. I thought he could survive anything. I can't even believe we just said good-bye to him. Abigail: It's my fault. He was trying to save me. Jennifer: No, baby. No, honey. That is not true. He loved you so much. He would do anything for you. He was so proud of you. So proud of you and your brother. Don't even say that. Jj: [Sniffles] [Gasps softly] [Sniffles] [Sobs] Jj: Dear abe, how do I say I'm sorry for something that is unforgivable? Especially when it was you who first made me understand just what this badge means. This is very high-quality merchandise. I'm out of here. Abe: Hey, jj. Jj: I'm not doing anything. Abe: Let it go. I'm sorry to bust in like that. But, yes, you are doing something. You're working undercover. Roman told me all about it. Jj: Okay, um... I'm glad. I just--I didn't want you to think I'm blowing my second chance after you went to bat for me. Abe: Well, maybe you'll think about applying to the police academy when this is all over. Jj: I don't think I'm cut out for that. Abe: Well, you never know till you try. Jj: You were so right when you talked about what this badge means. I saw how angry you were when I got it back. You thought it was dead wrong, and I think you were right. So I'm giving it back to you. Jj: Dear lani, you didn't get a chance to open your birthday present that night because... because of what happened. So, I want you to know that i got you tickets to see rihanna. I know how much you love her. I was looking forward to that concert... I had a lot of plans for things we could do in chicago. Not just in chicago; I had a lot of plans for our future. I want you to know, I was telling the truth that night. I do love you. I broke up with you because I couldn't stand to hurt you anymore. I hope you'll find someone who really deserves you. Lani: Thanks again for the party. I really thought I just wanted to be alone with you. But I think you know me better than I know myself. I can't believe how lucky I am. Jj: Theo. What's wrong? Theo: Uh, I screwed everything up with claire. You know, I did something dumb, and lani thinks I should talk to her, but I just think I'm gonna make things worse. Jj: Well, I would think you should probably listen to your sister. She's wise in the ways of girlfriends, man. Theo: Yeah. Jj: And it's-- it's normal for couples to fight, you know, but you can't work it out if you don't try. Theo: Yeah, I hope you're right. Jj: I am right. Theo: You know, I think about us, you know, me and claire, in the future, and, you know, she's this big star and we'll be married, but, you know, if I lose her now, I'm not even gonna make it to step two. Jj: Okay, well, no one ever knows for sure what's gonna happen. You know? Theo: Yeah. Jj: Hey. I hope you get everything you want. Theo: Thank you. Jj: You deserve it. Theo: Thanks. All right, see ya. Jj: All right. I said I wanted you to have all the things you wanted... and now you have nothing. Because of me. I've come to see that I can only pay for taking your life by taking my own. So, I'm going out to the square, to the same place where I shot you... with the same gun. And maybe, in some small way it will help balance out the universe, make up for what I took from you. I have left something to everyone else I love. But I have nothing to give you except my life.