Jennifer told Lucas about what was going on with her children. She also told him that Chad didn't want her near her grandchild because she was a danger to him. She told him about trying to get more pills and what she did to find the ones she had. He wanted her to go to a meeting to get help, but she gave him a hard time. Jennifer had a nightmare about Abby yelling at her for not watching Thomas. She also had a nightmare about JJ being in prison because of drugs. Jack showed up in her dream. Jennifer thought about her past with Jack. She talked to him about leaving her and how she was alone. She wanted to know why he was there. He wanted her to change her life. She wasn't interested and wanted to take her pills. Julie and Doug were there for Jennifer. Doug suggested that he and Julie move in with Jennifer until she got better. Jennifer and Julie went up to Jennifer's bedroom. When Julie left the room, Jennifer found a pill bottle under her bed. Julie busted Jennifer with her pills. Jennifer slapped Julie when she tried to take the pills. The next day, Lucas took Jennifer to the meeting. She admitted to being an addict.
Jennifer: [Crying] [Sighs, sobs] [Sniffles] [Sniffles, sobs] I can't do this. I can't do this. It hurts so much. [Cries, grunts] Lucas: Hey, hey, you going somewhere? Jennifer: No, Lucas, I-I just... Lucas: Listen, it's okay. I understand. Do you want help? Jennifer: I need help, Lucas. Lucas: Jenn, I know you need help, but do you want help? Or do you want me to step aside? Jennifer: [Softly] No. [Crying] No, I-I want it. I want help. Please. Lucas: Okay. Jennifer: Oh, I'm so glad you came. Lucas: Come on, of course I did. Of course I did. Jennifer: Thank you. [Sniffles] Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you so much. Lucas: Redecorating? Jennifer: God knows what I broke. I-I don't even want to look. Lucas: Looking for your stash. Jennifer: Hid it in that curtain. I taped it... top of the valance. Hid it in the desk drawers. Hid it in the pillows. I hid it everywhere in this house. Lucas: Yeah... because... if it were handy, you wouldn't have to work to find it, right? Wouldn't have to waste that time. It's an old trick to make you think like you're in control, running things, but you're just running. You ran out of pills, right? Jennifer: I'd thrown them all out... before. Lucas: Did you dig them out of the trash? Jennifer: Not this time, no. I-I meant it. Lucas: Why? Why now? Jennifer: I had gotten through this... whole thing with JJ. You know, I... I really thought I was gonna lose him, Lucas. In the hospital, they got a handle on that virus, and then... before that, I went to see Abigail. Only, when I got there, she... she didn't want to see me... or her child or her husband. She's just slipping away, Lucas. Oh! Lucas: Careful, Jenn. Careful. Go slow, okay? Go slow. Sorry. Jennifer: Gosh. Lucas: Better? Jennifer: [Inhales deeply] It is so hard to see my baby girl like that. And Chad--he is... he's crushed, and he is worn out. So I offered to take Thomas for the night. Lucas: Mm-hmm. Jennifer: And--and Chad told me that I couldn't. He refused to let me, and he made up all these kinds of excuses, and... then he finally told me that he didn't trust me... that he was afraid... for my grandson to spend the night with me. He considered me a danger... to my grandson. I'm a danger to my grandson? A danger to my grandson, Lucas. Lucas: I know. I know. That would make me want to drink. Jennifer: Exactly. Lucas: Well, you didn't take anything, did you? Jennifer: I didn't. I swear to you that is the truth. I didn't. Lucas: Good. That's a good thing. Jennifer: I took every pill, I took every, every... bit that I had in this house, and I flushed it down the toilet. And I know you're not supposed to do that. I know that it's bad for the environment and all that, but if I would've put those in the trash, Lucas, you know I would-- Lucas: I know. Shh. It's all right. You did what you had to do. You did what you thought was right. It's okay. Don't worry about it. The important thing is, is the pills are gone. They're gone now, right? Problem solved. Jennifer: [Scoffs] Yeah. Yeah, problem solved. [Exhales sharply] [Snaps cap on bottle] I don't need it. I don't. I am in severe pain. I mean, I can't even... get through the night. Can-- no, I-I don't know... the doctor that's on call, and he wouldn't even know my case. I-I... okay, no, that's--that's fine. That's fine. You don't even need to give me an entire prescription. I just need a couple of pills, and in the morning, I can just call-- no, that's fine! I'll just take my business to another pharmacy! Thank you for nothing! [Cell phone clatters] Jennifer: I'm glad you find this so funny. Lucas: It really isn't funny, Jenn, but they know all the tricks. They've heard it all before. Jennifer: So this pharmacist is listening to me and thinking that I'm--I'm some... dumb junkie? Oh, God. But you know what's worse? I-I don't even care. Really, because... if he would've given me those pills... Lucas: Yeah, you would've done anything. Jennifer: Yeah. So what does that make me? Lucas: I don't know. You tell me. Jennifer: [Whimpering] Aah! Aah! Aah! Ah! Where is it? Where? [Crying] [Breathing shakily] Oh, God. [Sniffles] [Sobs] [Cell phone beeps] [Line trilling] [Line clicks] Jennifer: Hi. [Crying] I-I need help. I need help. Lucas: See, it's all right, you know? You--you've done enough for tonight. You've done the hardest thing. You've--you've said no to the pills... mostly. You called me over to help you, and--and I promise I'll help you. I'll never, you know, let you deal with this alone again. [Sighs] Jennifer: I thought that I could handle this. I did. Lucas: We all think that. Jennifer: Who's "we"? Junkies? I-- [Sobs] Lucas: Is that what you think of me? Jennifer: No. No, that was mean, Lucas. Lucas: Well, yeah, it was, and you shouldn't think of yourself like that either. I mean, don't--don't take that kind of tone of voice. It's a disease. I'm an addict. I have a disease. Would you use that tone if you were talking about a diabetic or something? Jennifer: No, of course not. Lucas: Well, then just think of it that way. Jennifer: I'm just-- I'm just tired. I am so unbelievably tired... [Sniffles] To the bone. Lucas: You probably haven't slept very good at all. Jennifer: The pills mellow me out. Lucas: I know. Booze did the same thing for me. It's kind of a shallow dive, you know? It's not good sleep. It's not the kind of sleep you need. I mean, you had to have noticed that, right? Jennifer: I don't know. Maybe. I mean, I-I don't know how to do this, Lucas. I didn't just take those pills for fun, you know. I'm in pain... okay? So they-- they had a purpose. Lucas: Right. They had a purpose, Jenn, but not anymore. It's turned into something else now. Jennifer: I'm still in pain. Lucas: It's kind of a bigger challenge for you right now. Jennifer: Yes, right. So maybe that means I don't have to stop taking the pills entirely. I just have to be much better at controlling them, that's all. Lucas: You know, I think it's best if we get Maggie involved with this. Maggie has dealt with a lot of physical pain since her accident. Jennifer: How, Lucas? Lucas: I don't know. I don't know. We can ask her that. There's a meeting at St. Luke's at 6:00 A.M., Bright and early. Jennifer: [Scoffs] Okay, a meeting. A meeting? Lucas: Yeah. Jennifer: You think that is gonna take away my pain? You think a meeting is gonna solve my life, Lucas? A meeting? Lucas: I think you're gonna solve your life, and you're gonna figure out how to manage your pain, but you can't do that alone. This is the only way, Jenn. Jennifer: The only way? You're telling me the only way in the whole wide world that people solve their problems is going to a meeting? Lucas: It's the only way that worked for me. Jennifer: I know that it changed your life. Lucas: Yes. Yes, it did. Jennifer: 6:00? Lucas: Yeah, 6:00. What's that? That's four hours. That's nothing. We can do that. Jennifer: Right, says you. Lucas: Yeah, yeah, that's right--says me. And you know what? I'm not going anywhere. I am not gonna let you deal with this alone anymore. Never again. Lucas: What? What is it? What are you feeling? Jennifer: [Shudders] Just... I feel stupid. And I feel weak, and I feel ashamed. [Sniffles] Lucas: Wait a minute. All this started because of your car accident, right? There was never any indication that you had a substance-abuse problem before this. Jennifer: No. No. Lucas: So why don't we lose "stupid," "weak," and "ashamed"? Because this could happen to anybody, Jenn. Jennifer: I know that. I know. Oh, I remember when Carly was... addicted to prescription drugs. I was so shocked, 'cause she was so strong and so together and... I don't know. I didn't judge her. I just... Lucas: No, you didn't judge her. Y-you judged yourself, though, didn't you? I mean, listen to what you just said about yourself. I mean, who wouldn't crawl into a bottle to get away from feelings like that? Jennifer: You are so... Lucas: I'm so what? Jennifer: You're so... not smart. Lucas: [Chuckles] I'm not smart? Jennifer: No. Lucas: [Laughs] Okay. Jennifer: But you're just so wise. Lucas: That's what going to meetings will do for you. Jennifer: Oh, Lucas, I told you I was gonna go. I told you that already. Lucas: I know. I'm just saying. Jennifer: What time is it? Lucas: We have time. I mean, we have... we have a couple hours. Why don't you just try to get some sleep? You didn't take anything, so you have a chance to get some real sleep for once. Jennifer: You're not gonna leave me, right? Lucas: No, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here. Jennifer: [Sighs] Lucas: Try to get some sleep, and I'll, um... I'll clean up quietly, okay? Jennifer: [Breathes deeply] [Door slams] Abigail: Mom! Mom, where are you? Jennifer: I'm right here. Abigail. Oh! Oh, you're here. Abigail: Yeah, I'm here. Jennifer: Yeah. Abigail: I'm here, mom. Where's my son? Where's Thomas? Jennifer: The baby? Abigail: Yes, my son, who you were supposed to be watching. Jennifer: Oh, I took a nap. Abigail: You took a nap? Jennifer: No. No, no, Thomas... Thomas... Abigail: He was in the driveway. Jennifer: What? Abigail: He was in the driveway, crawling around all alone by himself. Chad said he left him with you so that he could come and pick me up, and you said you could take care of him. Jennifer: Yes, I did. I-I did. I-- Abigail: Don't. Please don't, mom! No, just don't even. I can't even... Jennifer: Please, don't be upset and--and don't worry. Please don't worry. Abigail: No, I'm not worried, mom, because I'm here now, and I can take care of my son myself. I just came in to say good-bye. Jennifer: What? Abigail, what are you-- what? Abigail: You're not here. I needed you, Mom. [Crying] I needed you! Where were you? You of all people, you should've understood what I was going through. You should've understood what was happening to me. Where were you? Do you think we don't know? Why do you think JJ is where he is? Jennifer: Where's JJ? Abigail: You don't even know. Don't worry about it, mom. Just stay here with your buddies. Jennifer: Abigail, where's j-- Abigail! Abigail: No! Don't. JJ: Aren't you gonna share? Jennifer: What are you doing here? JJ: That's what I was gonna ask you. I told the cops not to call you. Jennifer: Why? JJ: Because it's possession with intent. Look, with--with my record, there's no fighting it, so... share. Jennifer: What? JJ: Oh, come on, mom, I saw the pill bottle. Look, I-I might be here a long time. Jennifer: No, no, JJ, this isn't right. You can't throw away your life on drugs. You can't do that. JJ: What, so you're the only one who gets to do that? Jennifer: That's--that's not what's happening here. JJ: Look, mom, they say-- mom, they say it runs in families, so at least I came by it honestly. Jennifer: No, no, I'm not gonna let you do that. I'm not gonna let you throw your life away. JJ: Oh, great. So now just suddenly you want to help me? Dad dies, and you leave me in a boarding school half a world away. Jennifer: No, JJ, you--you wanted to be there. JJ: No, you needed to get your life together, so... looks like you're on the right track too. Time to go. Jennifer: Wait. What happened to my son? Back to your cell. Jennifer: No, you don't understand. I don't belong in prison. Jack: That's exactly where you put yourself. Jennifer: [Shuddering] Lucas: Yeah, she's asleep now, but I don't think she's gonna sleep through the night. You--you know, I think that's a great idea. I think the more family she has here, the better when she wakes up. [Whispering] All right, I'll see you soon. Jennifer: How... what are you doing here? Jack: Taking you back to your cell. Jennifer: I didn't break the law, and you are not-- Jack: Your jailer? You so sure about that? Jennifer: I'm not... Jack: Locked up... cut off from life. Look at you. When is the last time you laughed? Really laughed? Ran a good scam working a source for a story? When is the last time you rode on a fire truck against your will... and played a little shipboard truth or dare? Have you forgotten? Jennifer: Jack, do you want to give me that ring or not? Jack: This would probably look better in its natural setting-- Jennifer: I think it would look better if it was on my finger. Jack: You probably would like to think about that. I mean... it could cut you. You don't want to think about that? Jennifer: No. I want you to put it on my finger. Jack: Right, give you a chance to think about it. Something about-- Jennifer: Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? Jack: No, no, I guess it wasn't. Jennifer: This is the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me. Jack: Not to mention the coldest. [Shivers] Jennifer: I love the snow people, Jack. I really do... [Breathing heavily] But not nearly as much as I love you. Jack: Where's the girl that grabbed all the fun to be had? Jennifer: [Scoffs] She stayed here... and raised a family, because you ran off. That girl died when you died, and you took her with you. Jennifer: [Scoffs] Jack: The dying part was totally not my idea. But I came back... home for good. Jennifer: Maybe. Jack: Finally. Jennifer: How could you do it, Jack? We had gotten used to you being gone. That's--that's-- you always left. I knew that. I knew that I had to be the strong one. And I had to raise our kids because I was it. I was the only one that they could count on. So, yeah, the fun girl--the fun girl that disappeared... I missed her too. Jack: But I came back... for good. Jennifer: Yeah, that's what you said. And you convinced me. And finally, finally I thought, "this is our time. We are gonna have our--our second act." And this time... we were not gonna be stupid, and we were not gonna hold back our feelings, and we were just gonna be... Jack: Together. Jennifer: Yeah. Jack: Finally. Jennifer: Yeah. Jack: One heart. We were. Jennifer, we were. It was all right there, wasn't it? [Chuckles] I loved you completely. I kept nothing back. Didn't you feel that? Jennifer: Yeah, I did. I did, and then you were gone. Jack: Which was worse. It was worse than if I'd never come back at all. Jennifer: No, no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying that. I am so glad for the months that we had. Jack: Months? You deserved years. Jennifer: So did you. Jack: It's the quiet, isn't it? The house. Jennifer: Oh... my parents' house... my grandparents. So many ghosts in that house, Jack, so many expectations, so much space. You know, our kids are grown. They have lives. They--they have--they have partners. I would love to think that they still need me, but they don't. And once you were gone, even before you died, it was always about just making things really good for our kids. And now they're gone. And you're gone. So I feel like I'm gone. Jack: What does that mean? Jennifer: Jack, it's been such a long time since I didn't have a title-- Abigail's mom, JJ's mom, Jack's wife, tom and Alice's granddaughter, Maggie's niece. I have all these labels hanging around my neck. But in the end... I'm alone. Jack: Ugly truth? Everybody is. Jennifer: No. No, not like this, Jack. Jack: Not here like this... but you'd be surprised how much company you have. Jennifer: Why are you here? Jack: Because... I remember the Jennifer rose Horton that I met... who's still very much inside. And I know the terror of the blank page and the looming deadline. Jennifer: [Chuckles] Wait. I have a deadline? Jack: Oh-ho-ho, we all do. You just don't get to know when it is. So... seize it. Jennifer, carpe something. I'm gone. The kids are gone. You're free. It's one way to look at it. You're a blank page now. And you're the author. You can make it... make yourself whatever you want now. Jennifer: But I don't know what that is. I don't even know what to want. Jack: Find your first sentence... introduce your subject, and keep going. Pretend you're a feature at the "spectator." Find your first sentence. And I know you. Once you get started, you just fill the whole thing. [Both laugh] Jack: And before you know it, you'll have the whole story. How does that sound? Jennifer: It sounds tiring. No, it sounds really tiring. [Sniffles] Jack: You don't need those. You may think they help... but they'll just wear you out. If you need help... it is all around you. All your family... living and gone... they're all right there. Jennifer: Aah! [Gasps] Julie: Darling. We're here. It's all right. Jennifer: [Sobs] Julie: We heard you were having a rough night. Jennifer: I am so embarrassed. Doug: Oh, hush with that. Julie: Lucas, how long till that meeting? Lucas: Uh, we got about three hours. Julie: Three hours... that's a piece of cake. Jennifer: [Cries] Julie: Shouldn't we be doing something? Lucas: I mean, we are. We're here. I think that's--that's all we can do, is help her. Julie: [Sighs] Doug: And we will be, full-time. You and I are moving back in this place, at least until Jennifer is on solid ground. Julie: Right, right. [Chuckles] Jennifer: I'm... I-I feel okay now. I'm gonna go upstairs and get some rest. Julie: That's a great idea, sweetie. Jennifer: No, you don't have to come with me. Julie: No, I want to. I want to, sweetheart. Jennifer: I'm really o-okay. Julie: How many times have I done this? Jennifer: It's been a while. Julie: Well, we all need tucking in now and then. Jennifer: Thank you. Now maybe you can just go and get some sleep. Julie: Oh, no, I'm not tired. Close your eyes, sweetheart. I'm right here. Well... Jennifer is finally asleep. Lucas: Oh, good. Thank you for being here. Doug: Yeah. Jennifer: [Shuddering] Oh, I can't do this. I can't do this. I got to get out of here. [Grunts] Oh, there is a God. Julie: Jennifer rose. Jennifer: [Gasps] Oh, God. Julie, I just--I just fell. Julie: Yes... Jennifer: Yeah. Julie: Well, that's one way to put it. Found a stash you'd forgotten? Jennifer: Julie, I just-- I just need one for my back, just one. Julie: Give me the pills, Jennifer. Jennifer: No. No. Julie: Jennifer, you have to tough this part out. You have already gotten through the worst of it. Jennifer: [Crying] No, you don't know that. Nobody knows that, Julie. You don't even know. Don't, Julie! Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Julie: Oh. Jennifer: I'm sorry. Julie: It's all right, sweetheart. It's going to be all right. Jennifer: Julie, I'm so sorry. [Sobs, sighs] Julie: [Breathes deeply] God. Doug, Lucas, Jennifer's-- why, Jennifer's right here. Jennifer: Probably thought I'd gone over the wall. Julie: No. Jennifer: Bull. Julie: Well... I knew Lucas and Doug could take you in a fight if they had to. Lucas: If we had to. But we won't. We're not gonna let you fall, not today, not this morning. Doug: Not ever. Julie: We love you, Jennifer. We love you so. Baby... Jennifer: [Sighs] Don't tell me they're always here at 6:00 A.M. Lucas: I, uh--I made some calls. Jennifer: Thank you. Lucas: Come on. Jennifer: Okay, just--just tell me how this works. I don't-- Lucas: It's pretty simple. All you got to do is sit and listen and watch, and... when you feel like saying something, you take a turn. You'll get the hang of it, okay? Come on. Jennifer: Excuse me. Oh. Lucas: Come on, come on, it's--it's okay. Sit right there. Okay. Maggie: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change... and the courage to change the things that I can... and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen. Jennifer: Amen. Lucas: You know, I-I could count in years... but I know better. It's days. You have to count in days. And now, mostly, I don't-- I don't dread those days. I'm grateful. Maggie: Would anyone else like to speak? Jennifer: Okay. [Sighs] This, uh... this is my first meeting... ever... [Chuckles] But not my last. I'm Jennifer. All: Hi, Jennifer. Jennifer: [Sobs] And... [Sniffles] I... I am an addict.