Katie sits at a table in Al's Diner when she sees Chris outside talking to a woman. Katie immediately goes outside to see what is going on. At Fairwinds, Emily wants Paul to try on a sweater for their Christmas card. Kim interrupts them and wants to know if they heard from Barbara. Barbara sits alone with the clown and thinks that he is talking to her. Vienna and Henry have finished making love when he sees red splotches all over her. Henry begins to panic and wants to call the doctor. Vienna tries to put him off by telling him to go to the pharmacy to get her medication. Vienna gets up and Henry notices that the baby is lopsided. Henry feels that they have been making love too often. Chris introduces Monique to Katie. Katie takes an instant disliking to Monique. Barbara finds some firecrackers in hopes of making an explosion in order to draw attention. Paul, Emily and Eliza have their Christmas card. Vienna calls Katie for help. Katie tells Chris to do what he wanted to do because he was going to do that anyway. Henry catches up with Paul and Emily and asks about Barbara. Emily advises Henry not to look for Barbara. Barbara finds firecrackers in a box and lights them. A doctor gives Vienna medication for her rash. Paul notices that Kim is really worried over Barbara. Katie urges Vienna to tell Henry the truth. Chris asks Kim for advice about what to do about going to Haiti. Kim asks him if this has anything to do with Katie, which he denies. Kim gives Chris helpful advice about Katie. At the hospital, Vienna lies to Henry and tells him that she lost the baby. Chris tells Katie to tell him not to go to Haiti.
Katie: Thanks. Monique: Come with me. What could possibly be keeping you here? [SCENE_BREAK] Emily: Oh, this is gonna fit you perfectly! Paul: Its 85 degrees out. Emily: Yeah, I know. Well, we're gonna take our Christmas-card picture at Old Town today. Paul: In July? Emily: What can I say? I'm organized. Paul: That's the word that you would use to describe what you're being right now? Emily: Don't complain, because you are gonna die when you see your daughter dressed like a Christmas angel. I promise. Just go upstairs and put that on for me, please? Paul: Okay. I'm just so glad you're not mad at me anymore. Emily: Go get dressed. Paul: Yes, Ma'am. [Bells jingle] Kim: Hello? Oh, hi! Emily, good morning. Emily: Hi! Kim! I wasn't expecting you. Is something wrong? Kim: Well, I'm not sure that's why I'm here. Actually, I'm on my way to work. I just decided to stop and see if Paul has heard from his mother. Emily: No, he hasn't. He's left her messages, but she isn't returning any calls. Kim: Yeah, same here. I haven't heard from her not since the wedding. I mean, it's not like Barbara to just disappear off the face of the earth. Emily: She's upset. I'm sure she's off somewhere nursing her wounded pride. Kim: Yeah, but there's a lot of ways of letting your family know that you're all right without having to talk to them. It doesn't feel right to me. It's beginning to spook me. Emily: Kim, Barbara is a grown-up. If she's not returning your messages, it's because she doesn't want to. [SCENE_BREAK] Barbara: How long have I been asleep? Chuckles: Not long enough. You're still here. Barbara: Did you say something? Chuckles: I did. What of it? Barbara: Henry, is that you? [SCENE_BREAK] Henry: I just -- are you sure this kind of thing is normal? Vienna: I hope so. Henry: No. I mean, is it normal for a pregnant woman to be this insatiable? Vienna: Oh, it's the hormones. Everything feels so good. Was it good for you, too, Henry? Henry: Yeah, of course it was. I mean, I'm a guy, but, I mean, we got to get out of bed at some point, though, don't we? Vienna: Why? Henry: Well, food and water. Look, I'm gonna turn on the light. Vienna: No, no. Why? It's so nice and cozy here. Henry: Yeah, and it's daylight, too, I think. Besides, I want to see my new wife's beautiful eyes. Oh, my God! Vienna: What? Henry: Vienna, what's happened to you? Vienna: What? [Gasps] What are you doing? Henry: I'm checking med M.D. I want to find out why a pregnant woman would wake up with red spots all over her. Are you allergic to the baby? Are you allergic to me? Vienna: No, of course not. I've been with you over 100 times since we got pregnant. Henry: A lot more since the wedding, Sweetheart. Maybe we're doing it too much. Vienna: That's ridiculous. This has nothing to do with the pregnancy. I'm sure of it. Henry: What about that Swedish powder you were taking at the wedding, the anti-nausea dust or whatever it was? It smelled like wet elk, Sweetie. That can't be good. Vienna: This is just a rash. It's ugly. It'll go away as soon as it came on. Henry: Maybe under -- maybe under normal circumstances, but you are pregnant. You have the baby here, and we cannot take any chances. Vienna: What are you doing? Henry: The website said to examine you to see if the rash has spread to your stomach or to your legs. So come on. Just lay back. Vienna: No! No, no. Please get away, Henry. I can't stand the thought of you seeing me like this. It's just too embarrassing. Henry: We're married, Liebchen, for better or for worse. Vienna: No, and worse shouldn't start on the first day. You know, I'm not ready to look terrible in front of you. Henry: Sweetie, how can I make you comfortable? You are incredibly beautiful, even if you are covered with red spots there, and I'm gonna see you in the labor room, you know, so you should get used to me seeing just about everything. Vienna: No, no, no. Can you just get -- get me a glass of water. Henry: Water? Vienna: Water. Henry: Water. Okay. Okay. Vienna: Hello? This is an emer-- this is an emergency. I'm a patient of Dr. Ming's, and I need to know the side effects of his fertility drug, the deer- antler fertility drug. Hello? Do you speak English? English? Hello. Henry: How about some tomato juice? I'm just gonna call downstairs for some oatmeal for you to bathe in, and then I just thought tomato -- oh, my God! Vienna: What? What? Henry: The baby! Vienna: What? Henry: It's lopsided! Vienna: [Gasps] [SCENE_BREAK] Barbara: No. This isn't happening. Not only are you not Henry. You are definitely not talking. Chuckles: Who's Henry? Barbara: Now you're not only in my head, but you're coy, too? Chuckles: I'm Chuckles, not coy, not Henry. Chuckles the clown. Barbara: Oh. Now I'm talking to an inanimate object. Chuckles: Hey. Barbara: You're a doll, for crying out loud. Chuckles: Well, thanks, beautiful. Right back at you. Barbara: No, no, no. I mean you're a toy. You're a toy. You're a giant toy. You're a giant toy clown. You definitely don't talk. What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? You don't have a tongue, do you? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You're made of plastic. You're made in China. Ohhhh, I'm hallucinating. I'm starting to hallucinate. I've got to get out of here. It doesn't matter anymore how I got here or who did it, whether it was Vienna or Katie or Emily. It doesn't matter, 'cause when I get out of here, I'm gonna figure it all out. That's what I've got to do. I've got to get out of here. That's my priority. Escape, A.S.A.P. Chuckles: Good plan. Barbara: Shut up. Chuckles: Well, there's no need to be rude. Barbara: You can't talk! You can't talk! Do you hear me? You can't talk, Henry! I mean -- I mean -- what do I mean? [SCENE_BREAK] Kim: Look, I understand you're probably thrilled that Barbara's not answering Paul's messages, but -- Emily: No, no, no, no. That is not true. I -- I do not like to see my husband worry, and I'm gonna tell you what I said to Paul. If something was wrong with Barbara, something seriously wrong, we would all know about it. No news is good news. Kim: Well, in other circumstances, yes. I agree. But she's had her heart broken, and she lives alone. Emily: Alone? Kim: Yes. Emily: She lives in a hotel with full-time maid service. Alone. Kim: Oh, that's different. Emily: Okay, look. In all honesty, I feel sorry for her. I know what it feels like to be dumped, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Kim: Neither would I. Emily: Did we just agree on something? Kim: I think we did. Okay, look. You know, I honestly don't think Barbara thought Henry was gonna go ahead with the marriage. So you're probably right. I mean, she probably does need time to herself to get used to the idea before she has to face him. Emily: Exactly. You know what? If you don't mind, we were actually getting ready to go to Old Town to shoot our Christmas family photo, if you don't mind. Kim: Oh, good. Okay. I'm on my way. Don't worry. Emily: I'll call you if I hear anything. Kim: I appreciate it. Paul: I thought I heard somebody. Emily: Oh, no. I think it was just the -- I was talking to the housekeeper. Wow. You look so handsome. Paul: Thank you. I feel like a mime. Can we go? I'm gonna lose 15 pounds in this thing. Emily: Thank you for doing this for me. Paul: You're welcome. It's just a Christmas card. I don't see what the big deal is. Emily: It's a big deal. It means the three of us are gonna be together on Christmas. Paul: Why wouldn't we be? Emily: There's been a lot of uncertainty, and I -- I thought I was gonna lose you. Paul: I'm right here. Emily: And I'm right here. This is a fresh start for us. Now that Barbara and Meg are gone. Paul: Oh, Barbara is not gone. Emily: I meant that she's -- moved back into the Lakeview, you know, and it's just -- it's just the three of us, and it feels really, really good. Paul: Yeah, it feels good. I'd feel better if I wasn't in a turtleneck. [SCENE_BREAK] Chris: Katie, this is Monique. We worked together at the refugee camp in Rwanda. Katie: Nice to meet you. Chris: She's getting ready to go to Haiti to help out with the relief effort. Katie is a reporter. Katie: A lifestyle reporter. I have a TV show for new moms, but I think it's very admirable what you're doing. Monique: Tell Christopher. There are many lives yet to be saved. Chris: Didn't you say you have a flight to catch? Monique: We leave in four hours. I'll save you a seat. Katie: Air kisses. So cliché. Chris: Do you have a problem with Monique? Katie: No. Why would I? I just met the woman. But I do know her type. Chris: Really? Katie: Absolutely. Arrogant women doctors who think that the sun rises and sets behind them perfectly framing their beautiful hair as they run off to save the world. Whatever. So, what's keeping you from running of to Haiti with Dr. Chanel? Chris: I loved working in Rwanda. You know, it was fulfilling. Always felt like I was doing some good. Katie: You're not doing good here? Chris: I am. I am, but if I left, then my patients, they'd just move on to the next pediatrician on the list. Katie: So you're thinking of going? Chris: I don't know, Katie. It's a big decision to just get up and go. You know, I got to -- got to think about it. Katie: What's to think about? There's a crisis. You're a doctor, and you're single. You have this beautiful woman doctor just begging you to share her tent. What are you waiting for? Chris: Sounds like you want to ship me off to Haiti with the other volunteers. Katie: You mean Monique. Chris: It is not a date. There's 250 of us. Katie: "Us"? So you're going, right? Chris: No. I meant "Us" as in doctors and nurses. Katie: You want to go. I can tell by the way you talk about Rwanda and how fulfilling the experience was. Chris: Look, there's lots of ways to make a difference. Katie: All I'm saying is you're unattached. You don't know where you want to end up or what you want to do. You have one foot out the door anyway. You're a perfect candidate. Chris: Really I don't think so. Not at all. Katie: Well, it looks like that from where I stand. You have no commitments. Why not go to the place where you can really help? Chris: Is that what you want? Katie: Is that what you want? Or is it too much of a commitment? Chris: Katie, you know what I am perfectly capable of making a commitment when I want to, but it works both ways. That plane leaves in four hours, Katie, so I need to know, do you want to be with me? Is that what this is about? [SCENE_BREAK] Henry: I told you we shouldn't have been having so much sex! We've moved the baby! Vienna: We didn't move the baby! The baby's moving! That's what babies does! They -- they move! Henry: No, that's not what they does! I've seen plenty of pregnant women! I've never seen anything so off-kilter before! Vienna: No, don't worry. It's perfectly normal. It'll straighten itself out. I promise. Henry: What are you doing? Vienna: I'm itching! What does it look like I'm doing? Henry: Can I -- can I -- Vienna: No! Don't touch me! Henry: That's it, that's it, that's it. We are going to the emergency room, and you are going to see a doctor. Vienna: What? No! Henry: Yeah. Please let me help you. Vienna: Okay, okay. Go to Old Town. There's homeopathic cream at -- at the store there, the health-food store. Just give this to the man behind the counter. He'll know what it is. And just bring it back here. And as soon as I get it, I'll be fine within the hour. Henry: How do you know? Vienna: Because I've had this before. It's hives. I used to have them all the time as a little girl. Henry: From what? From what? Vienna: I don't know. Anything. I'll be fine. Once I put the cream on, I'm gonna be fine. I promise. Just go, because this is itching like crazy! Henry: Okay, okay! Just don't stress out, please! That's very bad for the baby! Vienna: Yeah, I know, but the only thing that is very bad right now is you stressing out. Henry: I'm going, I'm going! But if I come back and things haven't straightened out, we are gonna see a doctor, okay? Vienna: Okay. So we'll talk about it when you get back. Oh, God! This is a disaster! [SCENE_BREAK] Barbara: [Gasps] Oh! Where have you been hiding? Jackpot! Oh. Oh, my. Look at this. What are you? Stay. Ready? Oh, oh! Oh! Come on, Chuckles. Chuckles: Thanks. Barbara: Oh. Damn it! [Sighs] [SCENE_BREAK] Photographer: Now, hold it and say, "Chris Kringle." Emily: Chris Kringle. [Camera shutter clicks] Paul: All right. Photographer: Fantastic. Although not very Christmassy. [Laughs] Kim: Hey. Christmas in July. Paul: Yeah. Hi. Emily thought it would be a good idea for us to take our Christmas-card photo a little early this year. Kim: Yeah, yeah, I know. I wish I had as pretty a dress as you have. Paul: How'd you know we were here? Kim: Well, I stopped by Fairwinds earlier this morning to see if you've heard from your mother. Emily didn't mention it? Paul: No. Emily didn't mention it. [SCENE_BREAK] Chris: You know what? You're right about Haiti. This is an opportunity to make a real difference, and this is the time of my life when I can do things like that. Katie: You mean pack a bag and run off to a natural disaster or a war zone. Chris: Yeah. Yeah. So, if I'm gonna say no and stick around Oakdale, then, Katie, I got to know that there is a real good reason. Katie: What do you want me to say? Chris: I think you know. You keep talking around the issue. You're trying to convince me to leave town so you don't have to open yourself up to something that you may not be ready for. Katie: I'm not talking around anything. I'm perfectly capable of stating what I do and do not want. Chris: Then why haven't you? You know what? It's actually worse, because one minute you're telling me that you're not ready for something to happen between us, and then the next, you are kissing me like your life depends on it. Katie: You kissed me back. Chris: Yeah, I kissed you, Katie. I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you, because it feels good, and I just wish that you would admit you feel the same way. Katie: I don't know how. I mean, I like kissing you, obviously, but then when you ask me what I want, I don't know, because I don't know from one minute to the next. I can't stand it. [Cell phone rings] Katie: Hello? Vienna: Katie, I'm in trouble. Can you meet me at the hospital right away? Please, can you help me? Katie: Vienna, slow down and breathe. Vienna: No, I can't! I'm gonna lose him if you don't help me! Katie: You mean Henry. Vienna: Of course, Henry! Katie: Are you sick? Where's Henry now? Vienna: He's in Old Town right now, and I got to get to the hospital before he gets back here. Can you just meet me there, please? I can't do this alone. Katie: Well, I was -- I was kind of in the middle of something. Vienna: Please, Katie. I'm begging you. It's a matter of life and death. Katie: All right. I'm on my way. I'm sorry. I can't talk about this right now. I have to go see Vienna. Chris: Katie, Katie, Katie. Please do not walk away from this conversation. This is too important to the both of us. Please don't leave. Katie: Just do what you want, Chris. You always do anyway. [SCENE_BREAK] Emily: I -- I am so, so sorry, Baby. I just -- you know, I was running around so much, getting ready for all of this. It sort of slipped my mind, but, yes. Just like Kim said, she stopped by and asked about Barbara, and I told her we hadn't heard from her. Paul: Which is strange, 'cause I've left her like a dozen messages, and usually it's the other way around. Emily: Right. But you know what? I think she's embarrassed about how she behaved with Henry and she's off somewhere licking her wounds, and she'll come back when she's good and ready. Henry: Hey. Does anyone know where the health-food store is? Paul: The health-food store? Henry: Yeah. I have to pick up something for Vienna. Emily: Oh. Henry: Actually, since you're here, has anyone heard from Barbara? I thought maybe she would have called one of you by now. Paul: Yeah, me too. I've called her a ton of times. Kim: So have I. She's not answering anybody's calls. Henry: Oh, that's weird. Emily: Not really. She just went off for a little R&R. Paul: My mother? Henry: Barbara? Barbara wouldn't know R&R if it ran over her in the street. I'm gonna give her a call. Emily: No, Henry. Don't -- don't go looking for her, please. Why is everyone so obsessed with Barbara's whereabouts? She is a grown woman, okay? If she wants to have a little downtime by herself, she should be allowed to do that without you sending out some search party! Paul: Who said anything about a search party? Emily: Well, Kim wants to put missing-person flyers on every car windshield in the country! Kim: Get a grip. I said I was concerned about her. Emily: Okay, look. The bottom line is this. Barbara is in hiding because Henry here broke her heart. Henry: Sorry. Emily: That's not the point I'm trying to make. Henry: What is the point, then, Emily? Emily: The point is, this is a small town, and you live in the same hotel, Henry. The elevator's got to feel like enemy territory for her. Give the poor woman a break! Henry: She's not a poor woman, okay? She's got more dignity in her little finger than -- she's strong enough to handle anything even when she shouldn't have to. Emily: Well, you know what? We all have our breaking point, and unfortunately for the most of us, it usually involves a man. Henry: When you say it like that, it makes sense. Paul: Well, if she feels like that, don't you think she should be around her friends and her family? Emily: Oh, for God's sake! We're not talking about a wallflower. We're talking about Barbara Ryan. The woman knows what she wants, okay? And she's survived a lot worse than Henry Coleman. Henry: Hey! Emily: Yeah, well, it's true. She -- she lived through James Stenbeck, for God's sake. I mean, compare a broken heart to living with Satan. I think she'll get over it. I mean, I bet you she already has. Henry: Yeah. Well, I should go get the thing for my wife. Emily: Next to the cleaners, Henry. [Sighs] [SCENE_BREAK] Barbara: Come on, come on, come on, come on. [Sighs] Who knows how long these things have been in here. The whole thing is probably defective, like all the rest of this garbage in here! Anyway. Oh. Oh. Oh, that's different. Come here, you. [Laughs] [Grunts] All right. Let's see if we can get you going. Yeah. All righty. Okay. Please, please, please, please. Aah! Oh! Oh! Come on, Chuckles. Come on. Chuckles: Barbara, be careful! Barbara: Come on. Oh! Aah! [Laughs] Oh, no, no, no! I'm not careful anymore! Careful's what made me lose Henry! And careful's for losers, and I am through being careful! [Laughs] [SCENE_BREAK] Doctor: So, I'm gonna have a nurse come back with some samples of this medication, and that should hold you over until your husband's able to get to the pharmacy, okay? Vienna: Can you please tell her to hurry up? I've got to get back home before Henry gets worried. Doctor: All right. Stop scratching. Katie: I'm here. What's going -- oh, my God. What happened? Vienna: I woke up like this. It's from the fertility drugs. Katie: Is it just a rash? Vienna: Just a rash? I look like a tomato! Katie: Does Henry know what happened? Vienna: I told him that the deer-antler is a remedy for the morning sickness. So he thinks that I had an allergic reaction. Katie: You did. Vienna: Yes, but not for the morning sickness, which is why he couldn't come to the hospital, because he would find out that I'm doing the fertility drugs and I'm not pregnant. Katie: Where is Henry now? Vienna: I sent him to the store to get some itching cream. Oh, my God. I am so exhausted. Ever since the wedding, I've been trying to get pregnant, and now I look like a sex repellant. What am I gonna do? Katie: You're gonna stop this. That's what. Vienna: No. I can't. Katie: Vienna, you are out of control. You can't keep doing this, and not just for Henry, but for everyone in your life. Vienna: So what am I gonna do instead, just give up after all this time? Katie: You're gonna get out of this the best way you can. Tell Henry the truth. 'Cause if you don't and he finds out some other way, you're gonna lose him for good. [SCENE_BREAK] Paul: Look, Emily and my mom, they haven't been the best of friends lately. We were just talking about you. Emily: Really? Paul: Yeah. They both love me, so they're gonna find a way to live with one another. Isn't that right? Emily: Absolutely. Barbara's family. That's never gonna change. Kim: Good. I'm glad to hear that. When she gets back from wherever she is, she's gonna get a big kick out of these pictures. I hope it's soon. Paul: She seems really worried. Was she like that at Fairwinds? Emily: Uh, you know what? I was so busy getting everybody ready for the photo shoot, I really didn't notice. Paul: Well, I guess it's good that my mom has Kim to count on. Emily: Yep. It's just wonderful. Paul: What is going on with you? Emily: You. You are so stressed out since the minute we got here. Did you manage to at least smile for my Christmas-card picture? Can I have the baby, please? Come here. Come here. [Sighs] Get the stroller. Thank you. Barbara wasn't even in the Christmas card, and somehow she managed to ruin it. [SCENE_BREAK] Barbara: Well, if that doesn't draw some attention, I don't know what will. Right, Chuckles? Chuckles? [Gasps] Oh, no, no, no, no! Henry, no, no, no, no! I wouldn't hurt you, not in a million years! No, Henry! No, no! [SCENE_BREAK] Chris: Hey, Mom. Is this a bad time? Kim: Oh! Oh, oh, oh! Are you kidding? There is no bad time for you, my darling boy. How are you? What's up with you? Chris: Got a little problem. Not sure what to do. Kim: Really? Why? About what? Chris: Well, one of the doctors I worked with in Rwanda was in town last night, and she's heading to Haiti in a few hours, and she's, well -- Kim: They've asked you to go with them. Chris: Pretty much, but I'd have to leave soon, like today. Kim: [Gasps] Well, what do you want to do? Chris: Tempted. You know, Frannie, Sabrina, they're down there. So it wouldn't be like I'm so far away from home this time, you know? Kim: Well, if I may say, you did just come back to Oakdale, and, finally, you have your practice up and running successfully. I mean, do you really feel that this is the right time? Chris: There's a lot of work to be done down there, Mom. A lot of good work. And I'd get to work with my sisters. I mean, it could be an experience of a lifetime. Kim: Well, it will come as no surprise to you that I would like you to stay here. Chris: I know that. I'm sure Dad feels the same way. Kim: And that doesn't count for something? Chris: No, it counts for everything, but, you know, an extra pair of hands means much more in Haiti than it would if I was to stay here. Kim: Why? Why? I mean, you're doing good work here. Maybe it doesn't sound as glamorous or as exciting to go down there and be a big hero, but you're touching lives here. You make a difference in our lives, as well as your patients'. Chris: It's not that simple. Kim: This doesn't have anything to do with working with your sisters. This is about your feelings for Katie. Chris: Mom, this has nothing to do with Katie. Even if it did, she'd probably be better off if I go. Kim: Why would you think that? Chris: Because I was just with her. She practically told me to go. In fact, if she could have, I think she would have packed my suitcases. Kim: I don't believe that. Chris: Ma, you weren't there. She was like one of those recruiting people. According to Katie, I'm the perfect candidate -- no commitments and no intention of making any. Kim: She said that? Chris: Yeah, she did, among other things. She thinks that I want to go, so I should go today, as soon as possible. Kim: And after she said that, did she turn on her heel and stomp away? Chris: As a matter of fact, she did. But she got a call from Vienna. Kim: Oh my God, imagine that! Oh, Christopher! You have absolutely no understanding of women! Chris: Uh, excuse me? Kim: Do you not realize what was going on there? She said all those things to you because she was scared. Chris: Mother, I know women very well. [Laughs] What? Kim: Right. You have a perfect track record. Please. Chris: I'm sorry. What are we doing here? Were you channeling Tom? Kim: Forget about Tom. Think about Katie. Chris: What should I think about, Mom? Kim: Think about how she felt for Brad, how she loved him with all of her heart, and on a day that should have been one of the happiest days of their lives, he was murdered. Chris: I know this, Mom. But does that mean that she has to stop living? Kim: Christopher, opening herself up to you means that she also has to open herself up to the possibility of another loss. It is terrifying! Chris: Wait, Mom. If she's so afraid of losing me, why would she send me off to another country? Ma, that does not make any sense. Kim: It makes perfect sense! Number one, she wants you to want to stay here for her. And if you're gonna go anyway, then she wants you to get the hell out of here before it hurts too much. It's like ripping a band-aid off your arm instead of pulling it off slowly. She wants to take all the pain all at once before she gives her heart to you and you run away! Now, please, you tell me that that makes sense. Chris: That makes sense. But here's what doesn't make sense. How do you know all this? You weren't even there, and you know. Me, I was standing right there. I don't have a clue. Please, Mom, tell me. How do women know this stuff? Kim: The question is, how do men not know it? The only way you have any chance with Katie is to let her know you're not going anywhere. What the hell are you waiting for? [SCENE_BREAK] Katie: Honey, I know you love Henry, but your entire marriage is based on a huge lie. Vienna: No. My love for Henry's not a lie. Katie: You trapped him into marrying you, and now you're in trouble. You brought this on yourself. Vienna: Yeah, with your help! Katie: Yeah, well, that was a big mistake. Vienna: No, it wasn't! Katie: What more proof do you need? You are covered in hives because you overdosed on some bizarre fertility remedy to try to get pregnant with a baby that Henry thinks you're already having. This is insane, Vienna. You can't keep this up. The next time you see Henry, you have got to tell him there's no baby or you're gonna lose him forever. [SCENE_BREAK] Henry: Vienna! Liebchen, I got the cream! I think it's the cream. Sweetie, are you in there? [SCENE_BREAK] Barbara: Maybe it's karma. Maybe its karma, and I'm reaping my just rewards. No, no. No, I deserve this. I deserve this. I mean, look what I've done to my sons. I've been a terrible person. I have -- I have stolen men from other women -- a lot of men. And I've -- I've held people hostage, and -- and I've framed people. Of course, I've been framed, too, so that kind of cancels everything out. And I've drugged police officers, and I've drugged my daughter-in-law, and I blackmailed and I lied and lied and lied and lied. Yeah, and I hired a gigolo, a hit man. I shot James. I stabbed him once, too, but he deserved it. Yeah. I did all those things, and I even admit that I even self-stalked once, but it was all out of love. It was all out of love. And I've paid. I've -- I lost my beautiful daughter, and she was just an -- an innocent. And poor little Johnny. Johnny shouldn't have to grow up without a mom, and -- I don't know. My kids -- my kids deserve a much better mother than I've ever been. Chuckles: Stop it, Barbara. You're a mother lion, and everyone knows it. You'd lay down your life for your children. We should all be so lucky. Barbara: Thanks, Henry. Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] Emily: Oh, little Ms. Eliza was exhausted. She went right to sleep. Listen, I'm -- I'm sorry. I snapped about your mom. I just have this knee-jerk reaction whenever I hear her name. Paul: I am aware of that. Emily: Yeah. It's just that we have this very long, long history. I will try to do better, okay? Barbara's family. I get that. Eliza adores her. You adore her. Yeah, you adore her. In your own way, you do. I adore you. I love you. I want to be your wife forever, and I understand that your mother's a part of the package. So I will find a way to accept her. Paul: Thank you. That would be great. Emily: So, if she -- Barbara -- matters to you after all of the horrible things she's done to me, I will find a way for her to matter to me. Okay? Okay. [Sighs] I brought the mail in. Want to take -- oh, my God. Paul. It's from your mom. Emily: Your mother's on a cruise to Bermuda. Paul: "I need this. XXX, B." Emily: Okay. I know it doesn't say a lot, but clearly she sounds heart-broken. I told you, she needed to go and heal. Paul: On a cruise ship? Emily: Yes! Yes! It's -- it's -- it's isolated. Out to sea, it's perfect. Paul: Isolated? Look at the size of that boat. There's like 10,000 people on that thing. Emily: 10,000 strangers who don't feel sorry for her. Pl -- Honey, please. Tell me this makes you feel better. Paul: No post mark. Emily: It's right there. It's just faint. Honey, your mother's okay. Are you? Paul: Yeah, I'm okay. [SCENE_BREAK] Barbara: You've been so good to me. I felt things that I haven't felt in so long. New and different things, and I -- I just felt so good. And now you're off on your honeymoon with that Swedish lying -- wife with her fake baby. And you've probably forgotten all about me. And I'm just gonna stay here and die of a sugar overdose or exploding fireworks or a flammable clown or something. [Police siren wails] Barbara: Do you hear that? Chuckles: I think I do! Barbara: I hear it, I hear it, I hear it! Hello! Hello! Help! Help! I'm in here! I'm in the warehouse! [SCENE_BREAK] Katie: What are you doing here? I thought you had a plane to catch. Chris: Hey. Katie: Seriously. Why aren't you home loading up your backpack? Chris: What are you talking about? Katie: You know, those things that adventure seekers like you pack up to go from place to place to place, or is that too down-scale for a big doctor like you? Why so quiet? Aren't you gonna give me another lecture on making a difference? Chris: Are you done? Katie: Aren't you? Monique is off waiting for you in her plane to take you both off to save the world one disaster at a time. Chris: Well, going to Haiti would be the right thing to do for a lot of reasons. Katie: What are you waiting for? Chris: I don't know. Katie: So you are going? Chris: Maybe. But I need to know something first. Katie: Which is? What do you want, Chris? Chris: I want you to give me a reason to stay. [SCENE_BREAK] Henry: Oh, thank God I found you. Are you okay? Vienna: Henry, what are you doing here? Henry: Well, I got home and you weren't there, and I figured you'd come here. Are you all right? Did the rash spread? What's going on? It's okay. I'm here. Come here, Sweetie. Why didn't you call me? Vienna: Henry, I'm so sorry. We lost the baby. We lost him. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. [NEXT_ON] Chris: You can say it. Katie: Okay. I don't want you to go. Paul: She has taken off for a cruise to Bermuda. Gwen: This doesn't make any sense. She was supposed to meet us in Carbondale yesterday. Barbara: Time for me to get out of here, and when I do, someone's gonna get it.