Dorian wants to help Viki "do battle" with Echo and tells her she knows Echo is after Charlie. But Viki tells Dorian she is too distraught with some other things to be concerned. She informs Dorian that Tess has come back and Natalie has lost John. Hearing that, Dorian is all the more motivated to "fight dirty" knowing Viki may not do it for herself and goes to confront Echo telling her she better not do anything to hurt Viki. Echo finds out that John is "living" near her at the Minuteman Motel. She can see that he is abusing alcohol and behaving irresponsibly since he's found out that Natalie lied about his son being Brody's instead of his. She tells him that she gave up her own son many years ago and started abusing alcohol and failing to deal with her stuff the way he is doing. And she wants to prevent him from making the same mistakes she made. Natalie reveals to Joey that she caught John sleeping with Kelly. Hearing that, he reveals although he does not admit, that he is not over Kelly and jealous that she slept with someone else. Kelly returns home and admits to Blair that she slept with John. They also talk about Blair's potential "future" with Thomas. And we learn that Thomas is Tea's long lost brother who abandoned her family and who has broken her heart and made her furious.
Joey: Natalie? Natalie: Hey. Joey: Hey. Oh, sorry. Is Liam asleep? Natalie: Yeah, finally. Joey: Do you know if Charlie came home? Natalie: No. No. I mean, I hope so, but I was upstairs with the baby. Joey: Oh, okay. So you don't know if Jessica came home, either. Natalie: No, and the fact that she just left her baby is scary. I don't know how much you heard. Joey: No. It's okay. It's okay. Mom told me everything. Natalie: Ah, did she? John was so happy about having a son, and then when he found out that Liam wasn't his-- Joey: Natalie, I'm so sorry. Natalie: I really messed things up, Joey. Now I'm paying for it. [SCENE_BREAK] [Doorbell rings] Dorian: Hello, Viki. Viki: Dorian? Dorian: It's all right. You do not have to thank me. Viki: Was I supposed to? Dorian: Someone had to deal with Echo DiSavoy, so I decided to go right into the she-lion's den, and--ha ha!--I was right. Viki: About what? Dorian: She has been lying about your Charlie, or, as she would like to say, her Charlie. Hmm. [SCENE_BREAK] [Crowd cheering on TV] Echo: Hey! Can you hear me in there? Of course you can't hear me. I can't hear myself. Hey! John: What is your problem?! [SCENE_BREAK] Joey: You know what you need? You need a Joey special with the works. Natalie: Uh, what's the works? Joey: A little of everything. Natalie: If I told you I wasn't hungry, would that stop you? Joey: Oh, come on, Natalie. No way. If you're not gonna do it for me, let's do it for the little, helpless infant over there, right? So when you went looking for John earlier, did you find him? Natalie: Mm. Yeah, yeah. I found him. Joey: Good. Okay. All right. So how'd that go? Natalie: Great, except the fact that he was in bed with another woman. [SCENE_BREAK] Blair: Ah, what's the matter with you, and whatever is in that drink, is it supposed to be that color? Kelly: It's your mother's magic hangover cure. Blair: Really? I'm thinking you're gonna need more than magic. You're gonna need a miracle. Looks like a truck hit you. Kelly: Oh, yeah. It did. Joey got married. Blair: Joey married Aubrey? Seriously? Kelly: Yeah. Do I look like I'm joking? Blair: Oh, Kelly, lay it on me. Kelly: I don't think you want to hear this. Blair: Oh, come on, sweetheart. I'm your cousin. We really need to be there for each other, so come on. You can tell me everything. [SCENE_BREAK] Tomás: Hey, it's really me. Well, are you just gonna stand there? Huh. After all this time. Hey, don't I deserve a hug? Still got your temper, eh, pajarita? Téa: Don't. You lost the right to call me that a long time ago when you walked away. You remember that? [SCENE_BREAK] Echo: You need to turn down your television. I can hear it all the way back to my room. John: Yeah, and? Echo: It's making it a little hard to concentrate on my book. John: Oh, are you a big reader? Echo: As a matter of fact, I am, and you're a big jackass. John: Don't push it, lady. Echo: Oh, this is nothing. Watch this. [Turns TV off] Echo: So...what's next, Detective? You gonna arrest me? [SCENE_BREAK] Dorian: And that hovel where she's been living, you know the expression "roach motel"? It doesn't begin to do it credit. Viki: You really shouldn't have gone there, Dorian. Dorian: Well, she has known all along who Rex's real father was, and she was lying about it. She said it was Charlie so that she could just be close to Charlie. Well, I'm gonna see to it. I am not gonna rest until she is held accountable. Viki: I am very sorry. I cannot deal with this now. Dorian: Well, you have to, Viki. Viki: No, Dorian, please. I mean it. Stop, please. Dorian: Oh, dear. You are very upset. Oh, what? What is it? Viki: Jessica is in such trouble. Oh... Dorian: Tell me what's going on. Viki: I'm sure you heard what happened at the weddings, right? It was all too much for her, and one of her alters, Tess, has taken over. Dorian: Well, that is terrible. Viki: Yes. It is. Brody has gone to get her and bring her home. God knows what he's gonna find when he gets there. My poor baby. How much is one person supposed to endure? I mean-- Dorian: I heard that Clint changed the DNA result. How could he do such a thing to his own daughter? No wonder she was pushed over the edge. Viki: That's not all it was. There's more. Dorian: Oh, what? Please tell me. Viki: It has to do with Natalie. [SCENE_BREAK] Joey: So you actually found John in bed with another woman? What was he trying to do, get back at you for sleeping with Brody? I mean, come on, Natalie. John and you weren't even together then. Natalie: You know, I think it was more about me lying. I did lie, Joey, no matter how much I try to convince myself it was for the right reasons. Joey: So how did you even know where he was? Natalie: Kind of a long story, but I heard that he'd been in a fight at a biker bar, and I heard there was a motel around the corner from there, so I went there, and there he was. Joey: Yeah, him and his bitch. What'd he do, pick up some bimbo at the bar? Natalie: Funny you should say that. [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: I thought I had the one thing that would wake him up about Aubrey. Blair: What, that little flash drive or whatever it was with her and her brother? Kelly: Yeah, right, her brother. Blair: Mm-hmm. Kelly: Clint planted a camera in Aubrey's room, so he got the goods on her, but somehow she and Cutter got their hands on the original footage and switched it out. Blair: So by the time Joey saw it-- Kelly: It was Aubrey making a touching speech about how much she loved him... Blair: Ah. Kelly: And now Joey hates me, and what makes it worse, he thinks I'm the one who planted the camera. Do you believe that? Blair: Ooh, no wonder you went out and got smashed. Kelly: Huge, huge mistake. Blair: Oh, come on. There are worse things, sweetie. Kelly: Yeah. I know. I did them all. Blair: You slept with someone? Not Cutter? Kelly: No, not Cutter. [SCENE_BREAK] Tomás: Okay. Obviously, we have a lot to catch up on. Maybe I could sit down? Téa: No. I don't think so. I think you need to go straight back where you came from. Tomás: Téa, don't shut me out. I know you are angry, but I am still your brother. Téa: I can't believe I even let you in here. You're the last thing I need right now. Tomás: Why? Is something wrong? Téa: Why would I tell you? I don't even know you anymore. Tomás: Of course you do. We're family. Téa: Family doesn't walk out the door and stay gone for years. Tomás: Well, I thought it was better that way. Téa: For who? Not for Papi, not for the man who worked his fingers to the bone after mami left so you could take your music classes and your art classes. Tomás: If you think I'm nor grateful for that-- Téa: You were always the talented one, shining star, the artista. Do you have any idea how much it cost Papi to send you to Julliard? Tomás: I did have a scholarship. Téa: Yeah, and when that money ran out, you ran off to Europe on your music tour. You know that Papi played your recordings every day? The same ones day after day, and not because he thought you were so skilled, Tomás, but because they were the only thing he had left of you. Tomás: Yeah. Well, a lot of things I wish I could change. Téa: Oh, I bet there are. You broke our father's heart, and then when he died, you didn't even bother to show up. There we were, putting him in the ground, and you were nowhere to be found. Tomás: Téa, please stop. [SCENE_BREAK] Blair: So if it wasn't Cutter, did you just pick some random guy out of a hat? Kelly: Not exactly. [SCENE_BREAK] Joey: So what was she, like a homewrecking hooker? Natalie: Oh, I didn't say that. Joey: Oh, Natalie, come on. You just said he picked her up at the bar. Natalie: Homewrecking? Yes. Bitch? Yes. You're right on the money about those. Joey: Okay. Well, then who was she? [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: If I tell you who the guy was, I don't think you're gonna like it. Blair: Oh, come on, Kelly. I think that I can handle it. Who was it? [SCENE_BREAK] Natalie: It was Kelly Cramer. Joey: Yeah. Yeah, Kelly. Come on, Natalie. You almost had me there for a sec. Come on. Tell me the truth. Who was it? [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: Nobody was more surprised than I was. I mean, of all people-- Blair: Oh, come on, Kelly. What do you mean, of all people? Just who was it? Tell me. Kelly: John McBain. Blair: John...McBain? You slept with John? No. I don't believe it. No. [SCENE_BREAK] Natalie: I wasn't kidding, Joey. He was with Kelly. Joey: Are you sure? I mean, it couldn't have been somebody who looked like Kelly or-- Natalie: No, no, no. Trust me. There was no mistaking it. I practically walked in on them, and you know what the worst part was? John didn't even care. [SCENE_BREAK] Echo: You know that's not gonna solve anything. John: What makes you think I have anything to solve? Echo: Well, I was living at Llanfair for a while, so I know what happened. You were supposed to marry Viki's daughter, but what I don't know is why that-- John: I don't want to talk about it. Echo: Clint Buchanan changed the DNA results for Jessica's baby the same way he did for my son Rex. So it's no mystery why that wedding never happened, but what's your excuse? Why are you here getting hammered when you should be at home with Natalie and your son? John: What's the matter with you people? Hey, he's not my son, all right? Get that through your head. [SCENE_BREAK] Viki: Look, Dorian. I haven't said anything to Natalie about Jessica yet because, frankly, we don't even know the whole story. You're actually the first person I've told. Dorian: Besides Charlie, of course. Viki: No. I haven't told Charlie. He's away. He was called away on an emergency at work. Dorian: At work? Viki: I'm sure it was the last thing he wanted to deal with, but he had to go. Dorian: Yes. Of course, and he must have been terribly upset at finding out about Rex, and it must've been a terrible shock for him. Viki: He was devastated. He ran out of the church and was gone all night. I was afraid he'd ended up in a bar. Dorian: So where was he all night? Viki: But at least he wasn't drinking, and that's the most important thing. Dorian: There's one other important thing. [Telephone rings] Viki: I'm sorry. This is Jessie's doctor. I have to take this. Dorian: Please. Viki: Hello? Oh, Dr. Levin, thanks so much for getting back to me. Echo's voice: I don't have to listen to your demented rantings. Dorian's voice: Excuse me. What is that? Dorian: I knew it. Viki: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] Echo: Ahem. Ahem. John: You know you can leave anytime. Echo: You're pretty angry, aren't you? You have good reason to be. I just thought if you wanted to let off some steam, I can listen. John: Ha! Why the hell would you want to do that? Echo: Well, I know we don't know each other very well, but from what I understand, you're a pretty decent guy. So I just thought it might be better for you to unload your troubles on me than bury them in a bottle. John: Ha ha! Oh, boy. Is that what this is, some sort of alky rescue mission? Echo: No. It's self-preservation because, you see, the drunker you get, the louder you're gonna play that TV. So put down the whiskey and start talking. [SCENE_BREAK] Natalie: John was so cold, it's like he actually enjoyed hurting me, you know? When I talked about Liam, it was... nothing. Nothing. It's like he never named him or held him... never loved him. Anyway, I wasn't expecting John just to take me back with open arms and forgive me and everything, but I certainly was not expecting to see him with Kelly Cramer, and you know what? You know what hurts so much? I mean, he defended her. Defended her. Hurt like hell. Joey: Yeah. I can imagine. Natalie: Should watch it with that knife. Joey: I'm fine. I'm good. Natalie: I don't know if I should leave this alone, but John said something about you and Kelly. Joey: What did John say? Natalie: Did you do something to her? Joey: No. No. No. The only thing I did was marry Aubrey. Natalie: You what? [SCENE_BREAK] Blair: Okay. I've done some very self-destructive things in my lifetime--I know that you know that--but I think that you have topped them all. You have beat me out on all of these. Kelly: Okay. Look. I know that you're shocked, but can you be shocked a little bit more quietly? Blair: What was John thinking, anyway, huh? It's not like him to be so desperate. Kelly: Wait now. Excuse me. Ow. Are you saying that John McBain would have to be desperate if he wanted to end up in bed with me? [SCENE_BREAK] Joey: It should've been your wedding day, Natalie, yours and Jessica's, you know, but the minister was there, and--I don't know--I thought that one of us could maybe salvage something. Natalie: Absolutely. Makes sense. Joey: Yeah. Well, Dad freaked, of course, like I knew he would. Natalie: Dad is not the one who had to be happy. You have to be happy and Aubrey, too. Joey: We are. Sorry. It's probably the last thing that you want to hear right now. Natalie: No, no, no. No. No. I'm relieved. I relieved that things can still work out for some people. Gives me hope, but-- Joey: But what? Natalie: You almost cut your thumb off before when I told you about John and Kelly. So if you're so happy with Aubrey, why do you care who Kelly sleeps with? [SCENE_BREAK] Blair: It's not like it was a love affair, Kelly. Kelly: No. We're friends. But Natalie slept with someone first. Thank you. Blair: Ah. You were revenge. Kelly: What's your problem? Blair: I don't have the problem. You're the one that has the problem, Kelly. Kelly: You are jealous. Blair: What? I'm not jealous. I just don't understand why you have to fling yourself at every man that I'm even remotely interested in. Kelly: Well, this is not about me. Blair: Oh, yeah? Kelly: Yeah. This is about you feeling sorry for yourself because for the first time in forever, you don't have a man in your life. Blair: Well, you know what? That is not entirely true. Hmm. [SCENE_BREAK] Tomás: You're not being entirely fair. Téa: Did you or did you not show up when Papi died? Tomás: No, I didn't, because by the time word got to me, it was already too late. Did I call? Yes, more than once. There were birthdays, your graduation. Téa: You should have been there, Tomás. Tomás: Yeah, I know. I know. Téa: We were so close. How could you just leave and not come back? Tomás: Well, there were reasons. Téa: What reasons? What reasons? What could keep a man away from his family half a lifetime? [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: Okay. My turn. If there's a man in your life, why haven't I heard about it? Blair: Oh, well, maybe because you've had your hands full. But since you asked and you must know, you remember when I went to Paris with Cristian? Kelly: Oh, Blair. Cristian? Blair: What's wrong with Cristian? He's hot. Kelly: Yes, he's very, very hot. Blair: Yes, he is. It's not Cristian. I met a guy over there--an artist--in Paris. Kelly: Okay. Artist, Paris. Sounds good so far. What does he look like? Blair: He's beautiful. He's a man of the world. Hasn't lived in the United States in years, and he actually came here to visit me. Kelly: When? Blair: A few days ago. I just said good-bye to him over at the Buenos Dias. Kelly: He went back to Paris? Blair: Mm-hmm. Kelly: Blair, come on. What did Eli do to you? The perfect guy flies halfway across the world just for you, and you let him walk out of your life without a fight? [SCENE_BREAK] Tomás: I'm not gonna make excuses for why I didn't come back, why I stayed away. What matters is that I'm here now. I want to know about you-- how you came to have this beautiful house, where you work, who you love. Looks like you got a husband. What's he like? Téa: What do you care? Tomás: Do you have children? Téa: You mean nieces or nephews that you've shown absolutely no interest in until this very moment? Tomás: Parajita, please. Téa: No, no, no. You don't get to know about my life. What do you want? What are you doing here, Tomás? Tomás: I had a chance meeting with someone from Llanview. When I got here, I heard your name, so I asked some questions and I tracked you down. Téa: So you didn't even come for me. It was just an accident. Tomás: I thought it was more like a miracle. Why do you always have to paint it out to be the worst? Téa: Just go, all right? I'm serious. Get the hell out of my house! Now! [SCENE_BREAK] Joey: You're telling me that the bimbo that John slept with is Kelly? Definitely a shock. Believe me, I am in no way, shape, or form jealous. Kelly and I were finished a long time ago, so... Natalie: Yeah, well, I thought John and I were finished a long time ago as well, and we did. We moved on. We found happiness on our own, and we found our way back to each other--for a little while, anyway. Joey: Yeah, well, that's not gonna happen with us, with Kelly and I. I mean, after all the crap that she pulled, I feel more like just strangling her. Natalie: That makes two of us. Joey: But John doesn't get a free pass. No. No. Hitting on Kelly just to stick it to you? Natalie: Well, trust me, he did not have to hit that hard. Joey: What is that supposed to mean? Natalie: What it means is that Kelly was not dragged into that motel room against her will, okay? [SCENE_BREAK] John: So the guy that Natalie slept with was my friend... and her sister's fiancé. She hit the daily double on that one, didn't she? And still we might have gotten past all this if she just would have told me the truth, if she hadn't let me go all those months thinking that Liam was my son. Echo: So you walked out. John: And got drunk. Went to bed with a woman I barely know. There. You're all caught up. You happy now? I think that's the longest I've spoken in my entire life. Echo: I'm sorry you had to go through all that, and I'm not going to insult you by telling you that everything's gonna be okay, because it won't be, not for a very long time. But hey, I don't blame you for drinking or holing up here or even waking up with the wrong person, because I know what that's like. But let me tell you something, John. Some of the decisions that you're making, you're gonna regret for the rest of your life. [SCENE_BREAK] Dorian: I knew it, and now I can prove it. I know where Charlie spent the night and with whom. Viki: I'm sorry. I had to take that. Dorian: Perfectly all right. Viki, I'm sorry, but there's something I have to tell you. [SCENE_BREAK] Tomás: You and I had a connection nothing could break. Téa, you remember how you were always wanting me to paint pictures for you? Every day you were after me. "More pictures, more pictures." That's why I called you parajita. Téa: I wouldn't shut up. Tomás: No, because you were always chirping like a little bird. You remember what you did with all those pictures, little bird? Téa: You mean about the museum? Tomás: The museum, the Metropolitan Museum of Art? The biggest museum in New York? Outside selling my paintings to the highest bidder. Téa: Hey, they were good, and I managed to sell some of those. Tomás: Yeah, and you spent all the profits on movies. No wonder you became a lawyer. You could talk anyone into anything. Téa: Except sticking around. [SCENE_BREAK] Blair: Some things are worth fighting for. Some things are just sweet romantic moments that last for a little while, and then they're gone. Kelly: But maybe this doesn't have to be gone. Blair: You know, I know what you're doing here. Kelly: What? Blair: You're trying to get the focus all on me and away from you and John McBain and the fact that Natalie and what she's gonna do to you when she finds out that you got drunk and jumped her fiancé. Kelly: Well, no worries there. She already knows. Blair: Who ratted you out? Kelly: No one. She walked in on us. Blair: Were you all in the middle of it? Kelly: No, thankfully. I was in the shower. Then I came out, and oh, my God, the look on her face. I wanted to die. Blair: I've been there. Kelly: How could I do this? How could I do this? I mean, John and Natalie were seconds from getting married, and just because something stopped them doesn't mean I get to--man, I got to do something. I got to go to Natalie, and I got to apologize to her. Blair: Excuse me. Have you met Natalie Buchanan? What do you think you're gonna do--go over there and say, "Oh, Natalie, I just came here to tell you that I'm so sorry I got drunk and I had sex with your man." She's gonna drop- kick your ass to the next county, then kill you. [SCENE_BREAK] Natalie: I guess Kelly was upset, but that does not give her the right to go after the first man that she sees, especially a guy that is in a relationship, and yes, okay, that relationship has got some problems, but has anyone ever heard of letting them work it out? Joey: I'm sure she already regrets it, Natalie. Natalie: No. Kelly knew exactly what she was doing. She went after another woman's fiancé, and no way am I gonna forget that. [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: Natalie's no pushover. I get it. But there has to be some way to make some amends. I should write a note. I should just drop it off and leave it. Blair: Oh, and risk her seeing you and slamming you up against the nearest wall? Kelly, no, no, no. You just need to lie low. Kelly: Look, I can't stand having this on my conscience, Blair, okay? Just a little simple note. Blair: What? Kelly: Dear Natalie, I want you to know--I want you to know how sorry I am that I slept with your fiancé. Blair: Subtle. Kelly: Look, Blair, I can't avoid this, okay? I have to tell it like it is. Blair: I think you need to see it like it is. Natalie's gonna take your little note, tear it into a million pieces, and shove it down your throat. Kelly: So no letter? Blair: No letter, unless, of course, you can find a way to make it go down easier. You know what they say--a spoonful of sugar, which, by the way, I have the most fabulous pie. Lemon meringue. Kelly: What? Blair: Takeout food from Buenos Dias. Kelly: Pie? Perfect. Can I have it? Blair: No, you can't have it. It's tonight's dessert. Kelly: I know, but I really, really, really need that. Please. [SCENE_BREAK] Joey: This sandwich is probably not my best work, but it will put hair on your chest. Natalie: Yeah. I'm still not hungry. I think I'm just gonna wrap mine up and eat it later. Joey: You know what? I'll wrap them both up. Natalie: Joey, I'm sorry I made you lose your appetite. Joey: No, you didn't do that. Kelly did. You know, Natalie, I never thought that she'd join forces with Dad--spy on Aubrey, sleep with John. You know, I guess I never really knew her at all. [SCENE_BREAK] Viki: Dorian, listen, between Charlie and what's going on with my girls, I don't think I can handle anything else, so whatever you have to say, please, please, it has to wait, okay? It has to. Dorian: I was just going to say that I heard about Joe getting married, and I know it was very sudden, but I hope that he's going to be very happy. Viki: Oh, well, at least somebody's happy. Dorian: Your family has gone through more than its share of troubles, and I'm sorry about that. Viki: Thank you. Dorian: I think with everything that's going on, it's absolutely unconscionable that you should be treated shabbily. Viki: Well, I'm not the injured party here, but it was nice of you to say that. Thank you. Dorian: You are quite welcome, and I'll leave you now and, uh, I--I hope your family will be all right, and, well, you just take good care of them, the way you always do. Echo DiSavoy, you are nothing but a lying, husband-stealing, watch-stealing dipsomaniac. [SCENE_BREAK] Echo: I walked away from a child once. It was a tough time, and I didn't think I could take care of him, so I turned my back on him. John: I'm not really interested. Echo: I messed up my life, more than I even thought possible. Before, when you called me an alky, you were right. I'm just a washed-up drunk trying to make up for lost time. And with my kid, it's probably too late. John: At least you know it's your kid, right? Echo: You know what? You sound like a broken record. That child at Llanfair is yours, John. He's been yours from the moment he got back from the hospital. Liam--you chose that name for him, right? You and Natalie. John: Then why would she trash everything we have? Echo: Because she's afraid of losing you. John: No excuse. Echo: But if you love each other, you've got something to build on, something that's real. You know what? I had something like that in my life a long time ago, and I was afraid of it. I was afraid to fight for it, so instead, I hid myself in the bottom of a bottle. John: Lady, are we done here? Echo: Sure. As long as you turn down your TV, we won't have a problem. John: Sure. [Cell phone rings] Echo: I don't have time for this, Dorian. Dorian: Just look at your watch. You know, Charlie's watch. Echo: What are you getting at? Dorian: Back off, Echo. Viki's got enough on her plate. If you're smart, you won't make it any worse. [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly's voice: The perfect guy flies halfway across the world just for you, and you let him walk out of your life without a fight? [SCENE_BREAK] Tomás: Téa, I can't replace all the missing years, but the whole time, I never stopped loving you. Tomás: I want to be your brother again. Will you let me do that? Will you let me start over? [SCENE_BREAK] Joey: Kelly? [SCENE_BREAK] [Doorbell rings]