Amy and Rory summon the Doctor to Leadworth, and he admits he has not found Melody. They are met by Mels, their childhood friend responsible for Amy and Rory's relationship and whom Amy named Melody after. Mels hijacks the TARDIS and causes it to spin out of control and crash into Hitler 's office in 1938 Berlin . They accidentally save Hitler, as they disrupted a Teselecta , a shapeshifting robot piloted by miniaturised people to punish criminals, from killing him. Before Rory locks him away, Hitler shoots at the Teselecta but hits Mels instead. Instead of dying, however, Mels begins to regenerate into another incarnation which they recognise as River Song. She attempts to kill the Doctor several times before she kisses him; he discovers her lipstick was laced with poison that will kill him in 32 minutes. The Teselecta identifies River as responsible for the Doctor's death and thus a criminal, but Amy and Rory plead they not torture her and turn the Teselecta's security robots against the crew, who promptly teleport out. River saves the dying Doctor by giving up all her remaining regenerations.
Recap of the first half of the series EXT. CORN FIELD, DAY Birds are singing and suddenly a Mini drives through the stalks. INT. MORRIS MINI, DAY AMY is holding what appears to be a map and gives directions to RORY. AMY: OK, left, sharp turn! EXT. CORN FIELD, DAY RORY turns and they cross a previous path. INT. MORRIS MINI, DAY AMY: OK, right! No, no, no I mean left. (turns the map around) No, sorry right, right! I definitely meant right. EXT. CORN FIELD, DAY RORY continues driving. INT. MORRIS MINI, DAY AMY: Now loop the loop! EXT. CORN FIELD, DAY RORY drives. INT. MORRIS MINI, DAY AMY: Stop! Stop! RORY slams on the brakes. EXT. CORN FIELD, DAY AMY and RORY get out of the car to see the DOCTOR and the TARDIS in the middle of the crop circle they just made. The DOCTOR holds up the Leadworth paper with a headline that reads "Leadworth's Crop Circle". DOCTOR: Seriously? The camera pulls upwards and we get an aerial view of the field. The "circle" reads "Doctor". RORY: You never answer your phone. (closes car door) AMY: (walks to the DOCTOR) OK, you've had all summer. Have you found her? Have you found Melody? DOCTOR: (hands RORY the paper) Permission? RORY: Granted. DOCTOR: (hugs AMY) You know who she grows up to be, so you know I WILL find her. AMY: (ends the hug) But you haven't yet? RORY: Hang on, what's this bit? The picture in the newspaper shows an extra line through the word. AMY: That wasn't us. The DOCTOR grabs the paper from RORY and tries to locate where it would be. The DOCTOR stops and lowers the paper, AMY and RORY standing behind him, as they hear an engine and see a red Corvette coming straight at them. They scream and dive out of the way. The car stops, inches away from the TARDIS. A young black woman steps out of the car. AMY and RORY stand and the DOCTOR is lying on the ground at her feet. WOMAN: You said he was funny, you never said he was hot. RORY: Mels? AMY: What are you doing here? MELS: Following you, what do you think? The DOCTOR uses the car to stand up. RORY: Um, where did you get the car? MELS: It's mine... Police sirens wail in the distance. MELS: ..ish. AMY: Oh, Mels, not again? RORY: You can't keep doing this. You'll end up in prison. DOCTOR: Sorry, hello, Doctor not following this. Doctor very lost. You never said I was hot?! MELS: (points at the TARDIS) Is that the phone box! The bigger-on-the-inside phone box? (caresses the TARDIS) Time travel - that's just brilliant. The DOCTOR leans against the TARDIS next to MELS. MELS: Yeah, I've heard a lot about you. I'm their best mate. DOCTOR: Then why don't I know you? I danced with everyone at the wedding. The women were all brilliant, the men were a bit shy. MELS: I don't do weddings. The police sirens sound closer. MELS: And that's me out of time. (pulls a gun on the Doctor) AMY: Mels! RORY: For God's sake! AMY: What are you doing? MELS: I need out of here, now! DOCTOR: Anywhere in particular? MELS: Well, let's see! You've got a time machine, I've got a gun. What the hell - let's kill Hitler. [SCENE_BREAK] Matt Smith Karen Gillan Arthur Darvil "Let's Kill Hitler" by Steven Moffat Producer Marcus Wilson Director Richard Senior [SCENE_BREAK] A LONG TIME AGO IN LEADWORTH.... INT. AMELIA'S BEDROOM, DAY AMELIA is going through her box of Raggedy Doctor crafts as MELS watches. MELS: Is he hot? AMELIA: No, he's funny. MELS: But how can he travel in time? AMELIA: Because he's got a time machine, stupid! RORY enters the room. RORY: I thought we were playing hide and seek. I've been hiding for hours! AMELIA: Well, we just haven't found you yet! RORY: OK. Hi, Mels. MELS: Hi, Rory. RORY leaves. INT. CLASSROOM, DAY MELS is standing as she is questioned by the teacher. TEACHER: Mels, did you not understand the question? I'm asking you why the Titanic sank. MELS: Because the DOCTOR didn't save it. Except you don't know about the Doctor because you're stupid! INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY, DAY MELS exits the Head Teacher's office. AMELIA is waiting and follows. EXT. SCHOOL PLAYGROUND, DAY AMELIA questions MELS as they walk through the playground. AMELIA: Why are you always in trouble? You're the most in trouble in the whole school, except for boys. MELS: And you. AMELIA: I count as a boy. They walk past a blindfolded RORY. RORY: Am I getting warm? AMELIA: Yes, Rory. INT. CLASSROOM, DAY MELS and AMY are now teenagers. MELS is standing being questioned by another teacher. TEACHER: Mels? MELS: A significant factor in Hitler's rise to power was the fact that the Doctor didn't stop him. INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY, DAY MELS exits the Head Teacher's office. AMY is waiting and follows. AMY: I can't keep doing this! INT. POLICE STATION, HALL, DAY MELS is released from her cell and AMY is waiting. AMY: Mels! (runs after her) INT. AMY'S BEDROOM, DAY MELS flops on the bed and picks up the toy TARDIS. RORY is sitting in a chair and AMY paces. MELS: It was late, I took a bus. RORY: No, you stole a bus. AMY: Who steals a BUS? MELS: I returned it. RORY: You drove it through the botanical garden. MELS: Shortcut. AMY: Why can't you just act like a person? Like a normal LEGAL person? MELS: I don't know, maybe I need a Doctor. AMY: (takes the TARDIS) Stop it! RORY: Er... I'd better go, I'm on earlies tomorrow. (packs schoolwork into bag and stands) MELS: It's all right for you. You've got Mr Perfect keeping you right. AMY: He's not even real. Just a stupid dream when I was a kid. (tosses the TARDIS to MELS) MELS: I wasn't talking about him. (looks at RORY as he opens the door) AMY: What, Rory? How have I GOT Rory? RORY: (stops at his name and turns) Yeah, how... how's she got me? AMY: He's not mine. RORY: No. No, I'm not hers. MELS: Oh, come on! Seriously, it's got to be you two. Oh, cut to the song, it's getting boring. AMY: Nice thought, OK? But completely impossible. RORY: (looks hurt) Yeah, impossible! AMY: I mean, I'd love to, he's gorgeous, he's my favourite guy, (pats him on the back) but he's, you know? RORY: A friend. AMY: Gay. RORY: (looks at AMY) I'm not gay. AMY: Yes, you are. RORY: No. No, I'm not. AMY: Course you are, don't be stupid! MELS watches from the bed, amused. AMY: In the time I've known you, when've you shown the slightest interest in a GIRL? MELS: (softly) Penny in the air! AMY: I've known you for, what, 10 years? I've seen you practically every day. Name one girl you've paid the SLIGHTEST bit of attention to? RORY can't answer and runs from the room. AMY: (realizes) Oh, my God! Rory! (runs after him) MELS: And the penny drops! (gets up) AMY: (distant) Rory! MELS: Catch you later, Time Boy! (tosses the TARDIS into the air) EXT. DAY Above the cornfield, the TARDIS spins out of control. There is a gunshot. DOCTOR: (V.O.) You've shot it! INT. TARDIS The DOCTOR is staring at a bullet hole in the time-rotor casing. AMY, RORY are clinging to the console and MELs is hanging onto the railing. DOCTOR: You shot my TARDIS! You shot the console! MELS: It's your fault! DOCTOR: Argh! How's it my fault?! MELS: You said guns didn't work in this place. You said we're in a state of temporal grace. DOCTOR: (frantically works the controls)That was a clever lie, you idiot! Anyone could tell that was a clever lie! EXT. DAY The TARDIS continues to spin out of control and AMY screams. EXT. REICH CHANCELLERY, BERLIN 1938, DAY The imposing façade is adorned with a stylized eagle, wings outstretched, above a wreath inside which is a swastika. To either side of the main entrance are large, draping red banners bearing the black swastika within a white circle. A general, ZIMMERMAN, enters the building. INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, CORRIDOR, DAY ZIMMERMAN strides down the hall past a janitor mopping the floor. The JANITOR stops and turns his head slowly and we hear mechanical whirring. INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY We see the OFFICER from the JANITOR'S POV as seen through a viewscreen. A computer scans him. The Captain, CARTER, watches. CARTER: OK, we like him. A female crewmember, ANITA listens to her headset. ANITA: Costume want to know about the suit. CARTER: Colour, shape, nothing detachable. Another crewmember, JIM, enters the bridge and heads to his station. JIM: Musculature good to go. CARTER: That was quick. JIM: Showing off. Art department want to talk skin tone. An older woman, HARRIET, enters the bridge. HARRIET: Yes, I do. I don't trust sensors, I want to take a look myself. JIM: We're in a hurry, we're not trying to win an award. HARRIET: That's what you said when we made Rasputin green! CARTER: OK, get your fat one up there. Run! HARRIET: Yes, Captain. (leaves) CARTER: (sits in command chair) Harriet's going to eyeball. Everyone else, good to go, please! INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, ZIMMERMAN'S OFFICE, DAY ZIMMERMAN is standing at his file cabinet looking through a file as the door opens and the JANITOR enters and closes the door behind him. ZIMMERMAN: What do you want? The JANITOR walks forward until he is face-to-face with ZIMMERMAN. ZIMMERMAN: What are you doing? INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY ANITA: Musculature on line. JIM: Five foot 11, confirmed. INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, ZIMMERMAN'S OFFICE, DAY The JANITOR grows until he is the same height as ZIMMERMAN. ZIMMERMAN stares, stunned. INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER reaches up and grabs a microphone. CARTER: Harriet, are you up there yet? INT. SHIP, LIFT, DAY HARRIET stands in the lift. Just as the doors are about to open, the light on her wristlet changes from green to red and alarms begin to sound. The doors slide open. AUTOMATED VOICE: Welcome. You are unauthorised. Your death will now be implemented. INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER: Harriet, have you updated your privileges? INT. SHIP, LIFT, DAY HARRIET: Yes, of course I have! (presses buttons on wristlet until the light changes back to green) Look, I'm staff, see? Look, staff! AUTOMATED VOICE: You are authorised. Your existence will continue. INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, ZIMMERMAN'S OFFICE, DAY ZIMMERMAN: I don't understand. The JANITOR'S clothes change to ZIMMERMAN'S uniform like scales flipping over all the way down his body. INT. SHIP, CORRIDOR, DAY HARRIET runs along the hallway. CARTER: (over radio) Harriet, shift! HARRIET: (into radio) Five seconds to eyeball. HARRIET reaches the end of the corridor and opens an iris by pressing her hand on a panel. She looks out. HARRIET: Shades 44 to 89, peaking at 60. Standard density. He's sweating a bit, so compensate. The camera pulls out and we see that HARRIET is literally looking out of the JANITOR'S eye. INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, ZIMMERMAN'S OFFICE, DAY ZIMMERMAN: Wh-What are you? INT. SHIP, CORRIDOR, DAY The iris closes behind HARRIET and we see her walk slowly back. There are a number of corridors-which are more like enclosed catwalks-at different levels. CARTER: (over radio) All hands, prepare for tessellation. Prepare for tessellation. INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, ZIMMERMAN'S OFFICE, DAY The JANITOR'S face changes to a duplicate of ZIMMERMAN. ZIMMERMAN gasps and falls back against the cabinet. The duplicate reaches out a hand and takes his glasses putting them on its own face. INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER: OK, clean up. INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, ZIMMERMAN'S OFFICE, DAY A beam of light shoots out from the duplicate's right eye, miniaturizing ZIMMERMAN. INT. SHIP, CORRIDOR, DAY ZIMMERMAN falls to the floor just inside the iris. INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY The crew watches ZIMMERMAN on a monitor. CARTER: Who is he? ANITA: Eric Zimmerman. Loyal member of the Nazi Party, guilty of Category Three hate crimes. CARTER: Well, then. Leave him to the Antibodies. INT. SHIP, CORRIDOR, DAY ZIMMERMAN stands. His vision is blurry without his glasses. He slowly walks forward. There is an electronic buzzing as something rises from the floor behind him. ZIMMERMAN slowly turns around and sees what looks like a metallic jellyfish complete with dangling tentacles floating towards him. It is an ANTIBODY. ANTIBODY: Welcome. You are unauthorised. Your death will now be implemented. ZIMMERMAN runs and is confronted by another ANTIBODY. ANTIBODY: Welcome. You will experience a tingling sensation and then death. ZIMMERMAN tries another corridor. ANTIBODY: Remain calm while your life is extracted. ZIMMERMAN screams as the tentacles reach out for him and he disappears. INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, OFFICE, DAY The DUPLICATE ZIMMERMAN enters a large wood-panelled office and shuts the door. We only see the man at the desk from behind. MAN: What do you want? Who let you in here? The DUPLICATE walks forward. INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY Inside, everything shakes and CARTER'S mug falls to the floor. CARTER: What's wrong with the shock absorbers? JIM: Problem in the knees. CARTER: Let's hope we don't have to run. INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, OFFICE, DAY DUPLICATE: Do not call for help. This room has been sound screened. You have been found guilty. Justice mode activating. The DUPLICATE opens his mouth and a beam of light wraps the man at the desk who cries out in pain. INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY JIM: Hang on! This is 1938. We're too early, we need to go later in his time stream. ANITA: Something else! We've got incoming! CARTER: On screen! INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, OFFICE, DAY The DUPLICATE closes his mouth and turns to the window. INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER: What the hell is that? INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, OFFICE, DAY The TARDIS bursts through the window, knocking the duplicate to the floor. INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY Sparks fly as they reel from being knocked over by the TARDIS. INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, OFFICE, DAY The TARDIS bursts through the window, knocking the duplicate to the floor. The DOCTOR exits the TARDIS followed by RORY, AMY and MELS. All are coughing from the smoke. DOCTOR: Out, out, out! Everybody out. Don't breathe the smoke, just get out! AMY: Where are we? DOCTOR: A room. RORY: What room? DOCTOR: I don't know! I haven't memorized every room in the universe. I had yesterday off. (sees MELS standing at the open TARDIS door) Mels, don't go in there! (takes her gun) MELS: Oi! DOCTOR: Bad smoke! Don't breathe the bad, bad, smoke. Bad, deadly smoke, because somebody shot my TARDIS! RORY: (sees the DUPLICATE on the floor) Doctor, this guy, I think he's hurt. INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER: Transmit normal life signs! JIM: Artificial gravity holding. We should get upright when we can. INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, OFFICE, DAY RORY: No, hang on. No, he's... he's fine. The DOCTOR doesn't know what to do with the gun. He finally puts in in a fruit bowl on the desk. The MAN who was attacked climbs up from behind the desk. DOCTOR: Ooh, hello! Sorry, is this your office? Had a sort of collision with my vehicle. Faults on both sides, let's say no more about...(the MAN turns around and the DOCTOR sees who it is) ...it. AMY and RORY come up beside the DOCTOR. AMY: Is that...? No, it can't be, Doctor? HITLER: Thank you. Whoever you are, I think you have just saved my life. DOCTOR: Believe me... it was an accident. HITLER: (sees the TARDIS) What is this thing? (walks to it) AMY: What did he mean we saved his life? We could not have saved Hitler. DOCTOR: You see? You see, time travel, it never goes to plan. HITLER: This box, what is it? DOCTOR: (walks toward HITLER) It's a police telephone box from London, England. That's right, Adolf, the British are coming! Behind the DOCTOR, the DUPLICATE stands. HITLER: No, stop him! (pulls his gun and fires at the DUPLICATE) INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY More sparks as they suffer from the impact of bullets. CARTER: Damage report! Damage report! INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, OFFICE, DAY RORY punches HITLER on the chin, knocking him to the floor. RORY picks up the gun and aims it at HITLER. RORY: Sit still, shut up. HITLER puts his hands up. AMY helps the DUPLICATE. AMY: Are you OK? DUPLICATE: Yes, yes. INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER speaks into a special microphone and his words are echoed by the DUPLICATE. CARTER: Yes. I'm fine. INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, OFFICE, DAY DUPLICATE: I think he missed. HITLER: He was going to kill me. RORY: Shut up, Hitler! DOCTOR: Rory, take Hitler and put him in that cupboard over there now. Do it! RORY: Right, putting Hitler in the cupboard. Cupboard, Hitler. Hitler, cupboard. (pulls HITLER to his feet)Come on. HITLER: But I am the Fuhrer! RORY: Right, in you go! (shoves him into the cupboard) HITLER: Who are you? RORY closes the door. The DOCTOR studies the DUPLICATE. DOCTOR: Are you OK? INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY They watch the DOCTOR on screen as he peers at the DUPLICATE'S face. ANITA: Sir, what do we do now? JIM: Suggestion: we should go into surveillance mode. CARTER: Agreed. Let's faint. INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, OFFICE, DAY DUPLICATE: Oh, I... (falls backwards in a faint) RORY: I think he just fainted. DOCTOR: Yes, that was a faint. A perfect faint. AMY: (notices MELS has a hand on her stomach) Mels? MELS: Hitler... DOCTOR: What about him? MELS: Lousy shot. (falls to the floor) All three run over to MELS. AMY: Mels! Mels! DOCTOR: Rory! RORY: No, no, no! I've got to stop the bleeding! INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY JIM: Sir, that blue box... I've got a match. (the screen shows information about the TARDIS) We're trying to bag war criminals, we've got the biggest one ever right under our noses. Forget Hitler. We take this one down, the Justice Department will give us the rest of the year off. CARTER: Are you sure? JIM: There's no question. (looks at CARTER) It's her. INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, OFFICE, DAY AMY is stroking MELS' hair as RORY tries to stop the bleeding. AMY: How bad is it? Rory, what can we do? RORY: Just keep her conscious! Stay with us, Mels. DOCTOR: Hey, look at me. Just hold on. MELS: I used to dream about you. All those stories Amy told me. DOCTOR: What stories? Tell me what stories. Vampires in Venice, that's a belter. MELS: When I was little, I was going to marry you. DOCTOR: Good idea, let's get married. You live and I'll marry you, deal? Deal? MELS: Shouldn't you ask my parents permission? DOCTOR: Soon as you're well, I'll get on the phone. MELS: Might as well do it now, since they're both right here. The DOCTOR, AMY and RORY exchange glances. MELS: Penny in the air. The DOCTOR stands as MELS begins to glow with regeneration energy. MELS: Penny drops! RORY: What the hell's going on? DOCTOR: (grabs AMY and RORY, pulling them away) Back! Back! Back! Get back! MELS: (stands) Last time I did this, I ended up a toddler in the middle of New York. The DOCTOR, AMY and RORY are standing against the desk. AMY: OK, Doctor, explain what is happening? Please! DOCTOR: Mels. Short for..? MELS: Melody. AMY: Yeah, I named my daughter after her. DOCTOR: You named your daughter... after your daughter. MELS: Took me years to find you two. I'm so glad I did. And, you see, it all worked out in the end, didn't it? You got to raise me after all. AMY: You're Melody? RORY: But if she's Melody, that means she's also... MELS: Oh, shut up, Dad! I'm focussing on a dress size. MELS gives in to the regeneration and screams as the change takes place. When it is over, she is in the now-familiar form of RIVER SONG-though she doesn't know it. She pants as she regains her breathing and becomes familiar with her new body. MELODY: Right, let's see, then. Ooh, it's all going on down there, isn't it? The hair! (runs to a mirror) Oh! The hair, it just doesn't stop, does it? Look at that! Everything changes! Oh, but I love it, I love it!(faces the others) I'm all sort of... mature! (puts her foot on a piece of furniture, attempting to look seductive) Hello, Benjamin! DOCTOR: (covers his eyes briefly)(to AMY) Who's Benjamin? MELODY: The teeth!(looks back in the mirror) The teeth, the teeth! (runs to the others) Oh, look at them! (forces herself on the DOCTOR) Watch out! That bow tie! Excuse me, you lot, I need to weigh myself! (runs to the restroom) The DOCTOR, AMY and RORY sit on the edge of the desk, stunned. AMY: That's Melody? RORY: That's River Song. MELODY stands in the doorway. MELODY: Who's River Song? They turn to look at her. DOCTOR: Spoilers. MELODY: Spoilers? What's spoilers? Hang on, just something I have to check! (runs back into the other room) RORY: Is anybody else finding today just a bit difficult? I'm getting a sort of banging in my head. AMY: Yeah, I think that's Hitler in the cupboard. RORY: That's not helping. The DOCTOR stands and walks across the room. AMY and RORY join him. DOCTOR: This isn't the River Song we know yet. This is her right at the start. Doesn't even know her name. MELODY: (O.C.) Ah, that's magnificent! They turn to see her leaning with her hand against the door jamb MELODY: I'm going to wear LOTS of jodhpurs! INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER: That's her, all right. Melody Pond...the woman who kills the Doctor. INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, OFFICE, DAY MELODY: Well, now, enough of all that! (pulls a gun and aims It at the DOCTOR) Down to business. DOCTOR: Oh, hello. I thought we were getting married. MELODY: (walks towards them) I told you, I'm not a wedding person. RORY: Doctor, what's she doing? DOCTOR: What she's programmed to. RORY: Where'd she get the gun? DOCTOR: Hello, Benjamin. [SCENE_BREAK] We flash back to MELODY standing by the chair when she said "Hello, Benjamin". She reaches back and takes the gun from the seat of the chair. [SCENE_BREAK] MELODY: You noticed! MELODY fires but the chambers are empty. DOCTOR: Of course I noticed. [SCENE_BREAK] While MELS is regenerating, the DOCTOR "falls" by the chair, sees the gun and removes the bullets. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: (walks forward) As soon as I knew you were coming, I tidied up a bit. MELODY: (tosses the gun away) I know you did.(reaches into her vest) [SCENE_BREAK] When MELODY pressed herself against the DOCTOR, she took the gun from the fruit bowl. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: I know you know. [SCENE_BREAK] The DOCTOR spins the fruit bowl around so MELODY actually grabs a banana. [SCENE_BREAK] MELODY pulls out the banana thinking it's a gun. MELODY: Goodness, is killing you going to take all day? DOCTOR: Why? (takes the banana) Are you busy? MELODY: Oh, I'm not complaining. MELODY takes the letter opener from HITLER'S desk and swipes at the DOCTOR. The DOCTOR uses the sonic to make her drop it. DOCTOR: If you were in a hurry, you could've killed me in the cornfield. MELODY: We'd only just met. I'm a psychopath. I'm not rude. MELODY takes the gun from the fruit bowl and fires. The DOCTOR holds up the clip and blows on it. AMY: You were not a psychopath! Why would she be a psychopath? MELODY and the DOCTOR circle each other. MELODY: Oh, Mummy, Mummy, pay attention. I was trained and conditioned for one purpose. I was born to kill the Doctor. DOCTOR: Demons Run, remember? This is what they were building, my bespoke psychopath. MELODY and the DOCTOR end up face-to-face. MELODY: I'm all yours, sweetie. (kisses him) DOCTOR: Only River Song gets to call me that. MELODY: And who is River Song? DOCTOR: An old friend of mine. MELODY: Stupid name. MELODY walks to the window. MELODY: Oh, look at that! (steps onto the sill) Berlin on the eve of war. A whole world about to tear itself apart. (turns back) Now that's my kind of town. Mum, Dad, don't follow me. And, yes, that is a warning. DOCTOR: No warning for me, then? MELODY: No need, my love. The deed is done and so are you. The DOCTOR'S legs wobble and RORY and AMY hold him up. He grips his chest in pain. AMY: Doctor, what's wrong? DOCTOR: What have you done? River! MELODY: Oh, River, River, River! More than a friend, I think. DOCTOR: What have you done?!(collapses) MELODY: It was never going to be a gun for you, Doctor, the man of peace who understands every kind of warfare, except, perhaps, the cruellest. The DOCTOR rubs a finger against his lips and recalls the kiss. MELODY: Kiss, kiss.(blows a kiss and jumps outside) RORY: What's wrong with you? What's she done to you? DOCTOR: Poisoned me... but I'm fine. Well, no, I'm dying, but I've got a plan. AMY: What plan? The DOCTOR, AMY and RORY are standing against the desk. DOCTOR: (groans) I'm not dying. See, fine! INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY ANITA: Scanning him. He's dying all right. JIM: But he can't be. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, OFFICE, DAY The DOCTOR groans as AMY and RORY help him stand. RORY: OK, what do we do? How do we help you? DOCTOR: Take this! The TARDIS can home in on it. (hands AMY the sonic) Now, go, get after her! (pushes RORY towards the window) RORY looks out the window down to the street and sees MELODY approach a group of soldiers. EXT. BERLIN STREET, DAY MELODY strides confidently towards the soldiers. SOLDIER 1: Hey was machen sie hier? (Hey what are you doing here?) SOLDIER 2: Halt! Five soldiers aim their rifles at MELODY and the OFFICER aims his automatic. MELODY: Hello, boys! INT. REICH CHANCELLERY, OFFICE, DAY AMY helps the DOCTOR to the TARDIS. AMY: You said the smoke was deadly. DOCTOR: The smoke's fine. The poison will kill me first. Now, get after River! AMY: I don't understand, OK? One minute she's going to marry you and then kill you. DOCTOR: Ah, well, she's been brainwashed, it makes sense to her. Plus, she is a woman. Oh, shut up, I'm dying. (enters the TARDIS) INT. TARDIS The DOCTOR enters the smoke-filled TARDIS and leans heavily against the door. DOCTOR: Extractor fans on! The fans suck the smoke away. DOCTOR: Oh! That works! (hurries to the console) EXT. BERLIN STREET, DAY OFFICER: What are you doing here? MELODY: Well, I was off to this gay Gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled, when I thought, "Gosh, the Third Reich's a bit rubbish, I think I'll kill the Fuhrer." Who's with me? OFFICER: Shoot her. The OFFICER walks behind the line of soldiers. RORY watches from his hiding place. RORY: No! The soldiers fire. The camera switches from RORY back to MELODY who is hugging herself. She lifts her head and smiles. MELODY: Tip for you all...never shoot a girl while she's regenerating. MELODY uses regeneration energy on the soldiers, throwing them backwards and knocking them unconscious. She laughs. MELODY: Ah! Now, that hit the spot. MELODY takes a couple of machine guns and climbs onto a motorcycle. MELODY: Thanks, boys! AMY climbs down and joins RORY who holds her back. MELODY: Call me. AMY: What are you doing? MELODY: New body, new town. I'm going shopping! (rides off) A SOLDIER comes through the gate behind them on a motorcycle. He stops and RORY tries to explain. RORY: Look, I know how this looks, but let me explain everything from the beginning. (sees the SOLDIER reaching for his holster) Heil! (salutes) SOLDIER: Heil! (returns the salute) RORY punches the SOLDIER, knocking him down. He then climbs on the motorcycle. RORY: Come on! AMY: (climbs on behind him) Can you ride a motorbike? RORY: I expect so. It's that sort of day. AMY and RORY drive off and the SOLDIER stands. CARTER: (V.O.) OK, INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER: this time let's do the bike, too. EXT. BERLIN STREET, DAY The SOLDIER sits down on a motorcycle and drives off after AMY and RORY. INT. SHIP, BRIDGE, DAY JIM: You see, he can't be dying. CARTER: But the Doctor is confirmed deceased. We have his records. JIM: But he doesn't die here. He dies in Utah, by Lake Silencio, April the 22nd, 2011. ANITA: Time can be rewritten. Remember Kennedy? JIM: This can't. It's a confirmed fixed point. The Doctor must always die exactly then. He always has and he always will. CARTER: Then someone's screwed up because he's dying right now. INT. TARDIS The DOCTOR falls to the floor at the base of the console. DOCTOR: I'm shutting down. (sits against the rail) Going to need an interface. Voice interface. Come on, emergency. The INTERFACE appears as a hologram of himself. INTERFACE: Voice interface enabled. DOCTOR: Oh, no, no, no, no! Give me someone I like. (appears as Rose) Oh, thanks! Give me guilt! (Martha) Also guilt! (Donna) More guilt. Come on, there must be someone left in the universe I haven't screwed up yet. We hear the INTERFACE change and then it speaks in a young voice. INTERFACE: Voice interface enabled. DOCTOR: (looks up) Oh! Oh, Amelia Pond before I got it all wrong. My sweet little Amelia. INTERFACE: I am not Amelia Pond. I am a voice interface. DOCTOR: Hey, let's run away and have adventures. Come along, Pond. INTERFACE: I am not Amelia Pond. I am a voice interface. DOCTOR: You are SO Scottish. How am I doing? INTERFACE: Your system has been contaminated by the poison of the Judas tree. You will be dead in 32 minutes. DOCTOR: OK, so, basically better regenerate, that's what you're saying? INTERFACE: Regeneration disabled. You will be dead in 32 minutes. DOCTOR: Unless I'm cured, yeah? INTERFACE: There is no cure. You will be dead in 32 minutes. DOCTOR: Why do you keep saying that? INTERFACE: Because you will be dead in 32 minutes. DOCTOR: You see, there you go again. Basically skipping 31 whole minutes when I'm absolutely fine. Scottish, that's all I'm saying. INTERFACE: You will be fine for 31 minutes. You will be dead in 32 minutes. DOCTOR: Scotland's never conquered anywhere. Not even a Shetland. River needs me. She's only just beginning, I can't die now. INTERFACE: You will not die now. You will die in 32 minutes. DOCTOR: I'm going out in the first round. Ringing any bells? (cries in pain and falls face-down on the floor) OK, need something for the pain now. Come on, Amelia. It's me. Please. INTERFACE: I am not Amelia Pond. I am a voice interface. DOCTOR: Amelia, listen to me... I can be brave for you but you have got to tell me how. INTERFACE: I am not Amelia Pond. I am a voice interface. DOCTOR: Amelia... Amelia, please... (closes eyes) INTERFACE: Fish fingers and custard. DOCTOR: (opens eyes) What did you say? (smiles) Fish fingers and custard! (laughs) Oh, Amelia Pond. Fish fingers and custard! (pushes himself off the floor and uses the console to pull himself up) Fish... fingers... and... CUSTARD! He DOCTOR activates the TARDIS. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY While a string quartet plays Pachelbel's "Canon in D", ladies and gentlemen dine on fine food and wine. The atmosphere is broken by machine gun fire. The women scream and every ducks behind tables. MELODY enters, machine guns pointed at the ceiling. MELODY: Ladies and gentleman... I don't have a thing to wear. (aims the guns) Take off your clothes. EXT. BERLIN STREET, DAY RORY and AMY pull up outside an impressive building. RORY: OK, all of Berlin, how do we find her? AMY: I don't know. Look for clues. RORY: Clues? What kind of clues?! AMY: Shut up... At that moment, the doors of the building open and the restaurant clientele come running out in their under garments. RORY: OK. RORY and AMY turn around at the sound of a motorcycle and see a DUPLICATE AMY riding it. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY MELODY is trying on various pieces of clothing in front of a mirror. MELODY: Now, look at that! Now that's fun... from EVERY angle! AMY opens the doors and runs in. MELODY: Now, dear, I told you not to follow me. AMY walks forward, face cold. INT. SHIP, CORRIDOR, DAY AMY and RORY get up off the floor. RORY: OK. OK, I am trapped inside a giant robot replica of my wife. I'm really trying not to see this as a metaphor. AMY: How can we be in here? RORY: Umm... AMY: How do we fit? RORY: Miniaturisation ray. AMY: How would you know that? RORY: Well, there was a ray and we were miniaturised. AMY: All right. There is an electronic buzzing as an ANTIBODY rises from the floor. ANTIBODY: Welcome. You are unauthorised. Your death will now be implemented. AMY: Um... what's that? RORY: Er, I don't know, it's in YOUR head. ANTIBODY: Please remain calm while your life is terminated. AMY and RORY back away from the ANTIBODY. AMY: We come in peace! RORY: When has that ever worked? AMY: Oh, shut up! The other corridors are blocked by more ANTIBODIES. ANTIBODY: Please co-operate in your officially sanctioned termination. It is normal to experience fear during your incineration. They are backed against a wall. AMY pulls out the sonic. AMY: Stop or I sonic. RORY: What are you doing? AMY: I don't know. RORY: Psychic interface, just point and think. AMY: I know, but what do I think? RORY: I don't know! Electricity crackles as the ANTIBODIES get closer. The door behind AMY and RORY slides open and JIM is there. He slips the green light devices on their wrists. JIM: It's OK. Stay still and don't move. Privileges activated. See? Activated. (holds their arms up for the ANTIBODIES to see) ANTIBODY: You are authorised. Your existence will continue. (leave) JIM: You can put your hands down. This is Justice Department Vehicle 6018. You're not guilty of anything. Welcome aboard the Teselecta. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY MELODY has an officer's uniform jacket on over her other clothes. MELODY: I might take the age down a little, just gradually, to freak people out. TESELECTA AMY: You killed the Doctor. MELODY: Oh, yes, I know, dear. I hope you're not going to keep on about it. (puts on officer's cap) Oh, regeneration, it's a whole new colouring to work with. (removes cap) TESELECTA AMY moves around to face MELODY. TESELECTA AMY: You killed the Doctor on the orders of the movement known as the Silence and Academy of the Question. You accept and know this to be true? MELODY: Quite honestly, I don't really remember. It was all a bit of jumble. TESELECTA AMY pushes the mirror out of the way and opens its mouth. A beam envelopes MELODY and she cries out. MELODY: No! No! Get off me! DOCTOR: Sorry, did you say she killed the Doctor? TESELECTA AMY closes its mouth and faces the DOCTOR who is leaning against the TARDIS on the dais. He is dressed in tails and a top hat and has a cane. DOCTOR: The Doctor? Doctor who? INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER: You said he was dying. ANITA: He is! JIM enters with RORY and AMY. JIM: When you're done here, your memories will be wiped and you'll be able... AMY: (sees the DOCTOR on the screen) Doctor? INT. RESTAURANT, DAY MELODY: You're dying and you stopped to change? DOCTOR: (spins) Oh, you should always waste time when you don't have any. (walks down the steps twirling the cane) Time is not the boss of you - Rule 408. (faces TESELECTA AMY) Amelia Pond, judgment death machine. Why am I not surprised? Sonic cane! MELODY: Are you serious? INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY They watch the DOCTOR on screen as he scans the TESELECTA with the cane. DOCTOR: (on screen) Never knowingly. Never knowingly be serious. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY DOCTOR: Rule 27. You might want to write these down. (checks readings) Oh, it's a robot! INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY DOCTOR: (on screen) With 423 life signs inside. A robot... INT. RESTAURANT, DAY DOCTOR: worked by tiny people. Love it! But how do you all get in there, though? INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY DOCTOR: (on screen) Bigger on the inside? No, basic miniaturization sustained by a compression field. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY DOCTOR: Oh, watch what you eat, it'll get you every time. INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY DOCTOR: (on screen) Amy, if you and Rory are OK, signal me. AMY activates the sonic and the DOCTOR reads the signal on the cane. DOCTOR: (on screen) Thanking you. CARTER: Why did you do that? The DOCTOR cries out in pain. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY The DOCTOR is beginning the loose control of his legs. DOCTOR: Oops, sorry, leg went to sleep. Just had a quick left leg power nap, I forgot I had one scheduled. Actually, better sit down, I think I heard the right one yawning. (sits on the dais steps) MELODY runs for the door. TESELECTA AMY once again shoots a beam of light. DOCTOR: Don't you touch her! Do not harm her in any way. The TESELECTA closes its mouth. MELODY is caught in a containment field. INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER speaks into a microphone by his chair that controls the TESELECTA'S voice. It sounds like AMY is speaking as well. CARTER: Why would you care? She is the women who kills you. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY The DOCTOR removes his top hat. DOCTOR: I'm not dead. TESELECTA AMY: You're dying. DOCTOR: Well, at least I'm not a time-travelling shape-shifting robot operated by miniaturized cross people, which, I have got to admit, I didn't see coming. (points his cane at MELODY) What do you want with her? TESELECTA AMY: She's Melody Pond. INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER: (into microphone) According to records, the woman who kills the Doctor. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY DOCTOR: And I'm the Doctor, what's it to you? INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER: (into microphone) (stands) Throughout history, many criminals have gone unpunished in their lifetimes. Time travel has... responsibilities. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY The DOCTOR laughs. DOCTOR: What? You got yourselves time travel, so you decided to punish dead people? INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER: (into microphone) We don't kill them. We extract them near the end of their established timelines. DOCTOR: (on screen) And then what? CARTER: (into microphone) Give them hell. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY DOCTOR: I'd ask you who you think you are, INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY DOCTOR: (on screen) But I think the answer is pretty obvious. So, who do you think I am? INT. RESTAURANT, DAY DOCTOR: (points his cane at MELODY) "The woman who killed the Doctor". It sounds like you've got my biography in there. I'd love a peek. INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER: (into microphone) Our records office is sealed to the public. Foreknowledge is dangerous. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY DOCTOR: Yes, well, I'll be dead in three minutes. There isn't much foreknowledge left. INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER: (into microphone) (sits) Sorry, can't do that. AMY pulls CARTER'S chair around and leans down into his face. AMY: That man is my best friend. That woman is my daughter. You give him anything he wants. JIM: If she's family, she has privileges. CARTER taps buttons on her wrist device. JIM: Say, "Access personal records, the Doctor". AMY: (into device) Access personal records, the Doctor. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY TESELECTA AMY: Records available. The DOCTOR stands with great effort, leaning heavily on the cane. DOCTOR: Question. I'm dying... who wants me dead? TESELECTA AMY: The Silence. DOCTOR: What is the Silence? Why is it called that? What does it mean? TESELECTA AMY: The Silence is not a species. It is a religious order, or movement. Their core belief is that silence will fall when the question is asked. DOCTOR: What question? TESELECTA AMY: The first question. The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight. DOCTOR: Yes, but what is the question? TESELECTA AMY: Unknown. DOCTOR: Well, fat lot of use that is, you big ginge! Call yourself a Records... Argh! (falls to the floor) Kidneys are always the first to quit. I've had better, you know. INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY ANITA: OK, he's finished. AMY: (looks away) Oh, my God! CARTER: Well, then, let's do what we do. Give her hell. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY The field around MELODY turns to red and looks like flame. She screams in agony. The DOCTOR is pulling himself across the floor by his hands. DOCTOR: Amy! Rory! Amy, INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY DOCTOR: (on screen) can you hear me? AMY: Yeah. CARTER hands her the microphone. CARTER: You can talk to him. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY TESELECTA AMY: What do we do? INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY AMY: (into microphone) This is me. This is me actually talking. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY TESELECTA AMY: What do we do? DOCTOR: Just stop them. She's your daughter, just stop them. INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY AMY: (into microphone) How, how? INT. RESTAURANT, DAY TESELECTA AMY: How? DOCTOR: Just do it! INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY AMY flashes on the devices and how the green light saved them from the ANTIBODIES. AMY sees that everyone is wearing the devices and there is an ANTIBODY resting in a console. She pulls out the sonic. RORY: What are you doing? AMY: Pointing and thinking. Get ready to run. AMY uses the sonic on her device and it turns red. An alarm sounds and the ANTIBODY rises. ANTIBODY: You are unauthorised. Your death will now be implemented. AMY: OK, Captain, release her now, or I take down the whole Teselecta. RORY: Amy? CARTER: You can't. AMY swings his chair around so he sees the ANTIBODIES. AMY: They can! ANITA and JIM try to get their devices working again. AMY: Rory, go! AMY and RORY run for the lift. ANTIBODY: All privileges withdrawn. JIM: What have you done? The lift door closes. ANTIBODY: All life forms prepare for immediate decease. You will experience a tingling sensation and then death. One of the ANTIBODIES wraps two tentacles around ANITA'S neck. CARTER: Shut it down! JIM: I'm trying! CARTER: Shut everything down! They begin to pull wires and the TELESELECTA powers down. INT. RESTAURANT, DAY MELODY is freed. The DOCTOR looks up at her. DOCTOR: Please, now we have to save your parents. Don't run. Now, I know you're scared, but never run when you're scared. Rule 7. Please. MELODY looks at the DOCTOR and then at the TESELECTA AMY. INT. TESELECTA, CORRIDOR, DAY Members of the crew are attacked by ANTIBODIES. ANTIBODY: Remain calm while your life is extracted. The lift door opens and AMY and RORY run out. AMY: Run! Keep running. RORY: Where? AMY: I don't know, just run! They run down the corridor. INT. TESELECTA, BRIDGE, DAY CARTER uses the radio to call for help. CARTER: Mothership! Mothership, get us out of here! Emergency beam up now! Everyone! The crew is beamed away. ANTIBODY: Only two life forms remain. This will be rectified. INT. TESELECTA, CORRIDOR, DAY AMY and RORY realize they're alone. AMY: Where did everyone go? RORY: How can they just disappear? ANTIBODIES approach them and AMY pulls out the microphone. AMY: Doctor, can you help us? Doctor? Doctor, help us! INT. RESTAURANT, DAY TESELECTA AMY: Doctor, help us! The DOCTOR is on the floor, eyes closed. TESELECTA AMY: Doctor, please! The DOCTOR opens his eyes and stands with great difficulty. He heads for the TARDIS as MELODY watches from a chair. He falls onto the steps. TESELECTA AMY: Doctor! Help! The DOCTOR tries to pull himself up the steps. MELODY: Look at you. You still care. TESELECTA AMY: Doctor! Help! Doctor, help us! Please help us. MELODY: It's impressive, I'll give you that. DOCTOR: River, please... MELODY: (stands) Again? Who is this River? She's got to be a woman, am I right? The DOCTOR is stretched out on the steps, a hand reaching for the TARDIS. DOCTOR: Help me. Save Amy and Rory. Help me. MELODY: Tell me about her. Go on. DOCTOR: Aaargh... just... help me. INT. TESELECTA, CORRIDOR, DAY AMY and RORY run down the corridor to the iris. AMY tries to open the iris but the panel won't recognize her. They are surrounded by ANTIBODIES who echo each other. ANTIBODIES: You are unauthorised. Your death will now be implemented. AMY and RORY face each other. AMY: I love you. RORY: I love you too. RORY hugs her head to his chest as the ANTIBODIES continue. ANTIBODIES: You are unauthorised. Your death will now be implemented. The TARDIS materializes around them. INT. TARDIS AMY: Doctor? Doctor, he did it. He did it! They laugh with relief. They stop when they see MELODY appear from the other side of the console. MELODY: I seem to be able to fly her. She showed me how, she taught me. The Doctor says I'm the child of the TARDIS. What does he mean? AMY: Where is he? INT. RESTAURANT, DAY The DOCTOR is lying on his back on the stairs. AMY and RORY kneel beside him. AMY holds his hand in hers. AMY: You can't die now. I know you don't die now. DOCTOR: Oh, Pond! You've got a schedule for everything. AMY: But it doesn't make any sense. RORY: Doctor, what do we do? Come on. How do we help you? DOCTOR: No, sorry, Rory. You can't. Nobody can. Ponds, listen to me, I need to talk to your daughter. RORY and AMY get up and walk to where MELODY is standing. She slowly walks to the DOCTOR and kneels beside him. DOCTOR: Find her. Find River Song and tell her something from me. MELODY: Tell her what? The DOCTOR tugs on her jacket and MELODY bends over so he can whisper in her ear. MELODY: Well, I'm sure she knows. MELDOY lifts her head and sees the DOCTOR is unconscious. She backs away to AMY and RORY. MELODY: Who's River Song? AMY looks at RORY, who nods. She approaches the TESELECTA. AMY: Are you still working because I'm still a relative? Access files on River Song. TESELECTA AMY: Records available. AMY: Show me her. Show me River Song. The TESELECTA changes its appearance to RIVER and MELODY sees herself. MELODY turns to the DOCTOR, her eyes getting teary. AMY goes to RORY who holds her. AMY: Melody, what did he say? The Doctor gave you a message for River Song. What was it? MELODY'S hands start to glow as she approaches the DOCTOR. AMY: What's happening? What are you doing? MELODY lifts her hands. MELODY: Just tell me. The Doctor, is he worth it? AMY: Yes. Yes, he is. MELODY puts a hand to either side of the DOCTOR'S face. He inhales sharply and opens his eyes. DOCTOR: (whispers) River? No! What are you doing? MELODY: (whispers) Hello, sweetie. MELODY kisses the DOCTOR, transferring her regeneration energy. INT. HOSPITAL ROOM, DAY RORY and AMY bend over the bed and slowly come into focus. AMY: Hey. MELODY: Hey. Where am I? AMY: You're safe now. Apparently, you used all your remaining regenerations in one go. You shouldn't have done that. MELODY: Mother, I had to try. AMY: I know. MELODY: He said no-one could save him but he must have known I could. DOCTOR: Rule one. The others turn to look at the DOCTOR standing by the window. DOCTOR: The Doctor lies. NURSE: She just needs to rest. She'll be absolutely fine. DOCTOR: No, she won't. The DOCTOR sets a TARDIS journal down on the side table. It's tied with a red ribbon. DOCTOR: She will be... amazing. INT. TARDIS AMY: So that's it? We leave her there? DOCTOR: Sisters of the Infinite Schism, greatest hospital in the universe. AMY: Yeah, but she's our daughter. Doctor, she's River and she's our daughter. DOCTOR: Amy, I know. But we have to let her make her own way now. We have too much foreknowledge. (looks at the monitor and sees the time and place of his death) Dangerous thing, foreknowledge. AMY: What's that? DOCTOR: (turns off monitor) Nothing. Just some data from the Teselecta. Very boring. RORY: Doctor, River was brainwashed to kill you? DOCTOR: Well, she did, and then used her remaining lives to bring me back. As first dates go, I'd say that was mixed signals. RORY: But that stuff that they put in her head, is that gone now? The River that we know in the future, she is in prison for murder. AMY: Whose murder? The DOCTOR is quiet and then smiles. RORY is upset that he doesn't get an answer. AMY: Will we see her again? DOCTOR: Oh, she'll come looking for us.(runs up stairs) AMY: Yeah, but how? How do people even look for you? DOCTOR: Oh, Pond! Haven't you figured that one out yet? INT. LUNA UNIVERSITY, 5123 PROFESSOR: So, then, tell me... why do you want to study archaeology? RIVER: Well, to be perfectly honest, Professor, I'm looking for a good man.
Let's Kill Hitler