The Friendship Club's opinions on sex and homosexuality threaten Spinner's newly repaired friendship with Marco. Meanwhile, Spike's friends visit her in order to cheer her up on her and Snake's third anniversary.
At the school carnival, Spinner is sitting in a dunk tank Spinner: Come on Degrassi and dunk the dork! Linus: Hey. Wanna try your luck? It's only a buck a ball. Jimmy: You're telling me I get to throw balls at him for charity? Linus: Yeah. Come on why not? Jimmy: Okay. I'll uh, try my luck. Here's 5. Thank you. Linus: Yup. Spinner: Show me what you got Jimmy. (Jimmy throws the ball and dunks Spinner.) Spinner: Yes! First time today. Jimmy: Won't be the last. (Jimmy dunks him three more times in a row.) Jimmy: Wow. That was fun. I'm in a charitable mood so how about 10 more? Linus: I think Spinner needs a break. Jimmy: I think Gavin is fine okay? I'm just warming up. Marco: No, Jim look. He's freezing. I know you hate the guy okay, but today just cut him some slack. Jimmy: Fine whatever. (Jimmy leaves and Darcy puts a towel around Spinner.) Spinner: Thanks man. Saved my butt. Marco: Later Spinner. Later at the carnival, Paige and Alex are walking by Spinner Spinner: Girls could I interest you in this interesting pamphlet about Jesus? Paige: Um Spinner may I suggest methadone to uh kick the Christian habit? Spinner: It's not a habit Paige. It's for life and beyond. At the weight guessing booth, Danny is guessing Manny's weight Danny: Ouch, your shoes and your purse. Say 140? Manny: Maybe if I was carrying an entire 8 year old! Danny: Sign says guess. I guessed! Manny: Derek your friend's an idiot. Derek: I'm aware. Emma: So how miniscule are you? Manny: Don't ask. (Manny tries to take a brownie from Emma and Emma stops her.) Emma: Hey! These are for mom! Manny: Darn you and your whole make Spike feel better campaign. Emma: Today I need all the help I can get. It was supposed to be her third wedding anniversary, but I've got a surprise later that's really gonna make her happy. Manny: Male strippers dropping it like it's hot? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Emma: Okay I think removing you from public is a good idea for us all. In another area of the carnival Marco: Safer s*x seminar? Ellie: Safer s*x? Here you go. Marco: Safer s*x! Oh hey Toby safer s*x seminar. Check it out. We're giving out free condoms. Toby: Ooh! Marco: Exactly. Toby: I'm in. Marco: Safer s*x! Cool. Ellie: Okay I cannot believe Friendship Club brainwashed Spinner. Jimmy: There's not much brain to wash. Marco: Guys they don't brainwash. They're too busy singing and praying and stuff. Ellie: Tomato, tamoto. Religion is so boring and lame. Marco: Uh hello, Catholic over here. Ellie: Um Marco you're gay. Marco: And therefore I can't be Christian? Ellie: All I'm saying is the church...not too big on the gays. Marco: Well things are gonna change. It just, it takes time. Ellie: Whatevsky. In the hallway Kim: We just made $860 and it's all thanks to you Spin. Darcy: This is gonna put food in a lot of hungry mouths. You so rock! (She kisses him.) Linus: Let your light shine before men, that they may they see your good deeds. Matthew 5:16. I'm proud of you Spin. Spinner: All I had to do was get wet. That's a really small price to pay to help starving kids. Linus: Still you did a great thing for charity and you made Friendship Club look good. You're the man. Hey, call you later. Spinner: Alright. (Spinner sees Marco sitting by himself.) Spinner: Hey. Hope you don't mind me asking, but um what are you doing sitting here like little boy blue. I mean where are all your people? Marco: Well Jimmy and Ellie are doing this art thing like 24/7. Paige and Alex...Paige and Alex have morphed into uh Palex, and Craig's in Vancouver pursuing fame and fortune, and I'm here pursuing boredom. Spinner: Sucks man. Um listen if you want to we could possibly, maybe hang out...or not. You know whatever. Marco: Hey. You still like stupid movies? Spinner: Dude, the stupider, the better. At Emma's house, Spike is vacuuming Emma: Come on mom, a little less vacuum, a little more happy. Manny: Brownies. They're happy making. Spike: Not that I don't appreciate the effort, but I'm fine. Really. Emma: You want effort? Go open the door. (Spike goes to the door and sees Caitlin.) Caitlin: Surprise! Spike: Caitlin! Caitlin: All the way from LA darling! Spike: You little sneak. You didn't tell me she was coming! Emma: Well where's the surprise in that? At the movie theatres Marco: I can't believe we just paid money to see that movie. Spinner: What? Clown Academy 2 rocked man! I mean you got sexy clowns, car chases, explosive diarrhoea. What more could you want in a movie? Marco: Well it's good to see your taste in movies haven't changed. Spinner: Well it's good to see your taste in fashion hasn't changed. Does the gay superhero know you took his belt? Marco: Man you have not changed at all, except for the hair and uh thank god for that. Spinner: Funny. Marco: So Spinner. Okay I have to ask you something. Friendship Club. Now what is the deal with that? Spinner: Alright. Beginning of the year, my old friends didn't want to know my name, but Friendship Club welcomed me with open arms. They...they're like a family. Marco: It must have sucked for you. The whole gang just shunning you all year. Spinner: It's water over the bridge man. Besides I'm not complaining as long as you and I are cool. Marco: Right. We're cool. At Emma's house Spike: Thanks for the visit. It helps. Caitlin: So how are you? For real. What's going on with you and Snake? Spike: Well I'm not gonna wait around while he contemplates his navel, trying to figure out the meaning of life. Here's to moving on. Caitlin: To moving on and to the best non-anniversary party ever. Spike: My best friend, my girls, brownies, wine. What more could I ask for? Manny: A buff guy in a g-string dropping it like it's hot? Mr. Simpson: Hello? Anybody home? Caitlin! Hey. Nice of LA to send us up some sunshine. Caitlin: Hi Archie. Spike: You can't just barge in here anytime. Mr. Simpson: I'm sorry. It's just um I ordered this for you a month ago for our...you know. I thought maybe you should have it. I'll just, I'll leave this here. (He leaves awkwardly and Spike opens the box.) Spike: Sapphire. My birth stone. It's perfect. It's absolutely perfect. (She dumps it in the garbage can.) Emma: Perfect. At a Friendship Club meeting Linus: Hey I want to thank you all for coming in so early this morning, but um we have a serious issue at hand. I'm disgusted that the school would let Marco Del Rossi run this. Darcy: But the school promotes safer s*x. Kim: Please. Everyone knows safer s*x is just code for promiscuous s*x. Linus: Just say yes to safer s*x. What is this? There's no mention of abstinence at all. Spinner: Yeah, but isn't there like freedom of speech or whatever? Linus: You're right. There is. He's free to talk about immoral s*x and we're free to try and stop him. Spinner: Okay look Marco, he's a friend of mine. Linus: And that's why we've nominated you to talk him into calling this off. Spinner: Who's we? Darcy: I didn't vote for this. I thought this club was about tolerance and respect. Oh what about love your neighbour as yourself? Linus: We believe that, but we also believe in abstinence and condoms make kids have s*x. Darcy this seminar goes against our values. Okay we have to stop it and Spinner's our man. Spinner: Don't be so sure. Marco will freak. Linus: Look are you with us or not? [SCENE_BREAK] At Emma's house Caitlin: Morning fellow members of the worst cheer up squad ever. Emma: Where's our victim? Caitlin: She went to the salon early, probably to swallow dye, but I'm brainstorming on how to give the cheer up squad a major comeback. Manny: (Whispers to Emma) Male stripper! Caitlin: So far I've got uh girl movie marathon, craft night, face painting and cotton candy. (The girls say nothing.) Caitlin: Yeah I know. I got nothing. Manny: I've got an idea. How about we get a male stripper? Emma: Will you shut up already? Caitlin: There's no way she could keep a straight face through that. That's a great idea! Emma: Great idea? Caitlin: Get me the yellow pages and the phone. We are having a party. Woo! Manny: Woo! Caitlin: Oh yes! At school Spinner: Uh I need to talk to you about something. Do you have a sec? Marco: Nah Spin. Now's not a good time. Spinner: Okay, but just this seminar you think maybe it's a bit much? Marco: What exactly is a bit much? Spinner: Man you guys are giving out condoms. Marco: Yeah we're promoting safer s*x. Spinner: Don't do it. Marco: Excuse me? Spinner: Just cancel the seminar okay? Marco: What? Spin give me, give me one good reason why. Spinner: Condoms make kids have s*x. Marco: Oh wow. Well that's retarded. Where'd you get that from huh? Some stupid pamphlet? Spinner: I didn't want to get nasty, but what you're doing is immoral Marco! Marco: Who the hell are you to say that Spin? Spinner: Dude it's in the bible. This is wrong okay? This is sin. Marco: Wow. Jimmy was so right. I should have never given you a second chance. In Ms. Hatzilakos' office Ms. Hazilakos: Right. I approved the event so what's the problem? Spinner: They're giving out condoms Ms. H. It's gonna make kids run out and have s*x. Ms. Hatzilakos: Giving out condoms does not make kids have s*x. You two are aware that some teenagers have s*x? Linus: And some don't. We believe in abstinence. Ms. Hatzilakos: Well not every teenager does. We had a gonorrhoea outbreak in the school last year so if giving out condoms helps avoid it, then I'm all for it. Spinner: Ms. Hatzilakos please cancel this thing. It's, it's wrong. Ms. Hatzilakos: I'm afraid we don't see eye to eye and I'm not cancelling it. Spinner: I thought you were a good Christian. Ms. Hatzilakos: You're on very thin ice right now Gavin. Don't make me regret letting you back into this school. In a classroom Marco: (On the TV announcements) Hey everybody. Just wanted to remind you that the safer s*x seminar will be held today after school in the gym so if you have any questions about safer s*x... Spinner: I tried to stop him. I really did. So much for helping you. Linus: Spinner this isn't about helping me. Okay it's about right and wrong. What do you think Ms. Hatzilakos would do if we went on there and told everyone what we believed? Ms. Anti-Christian. Spinner: It's like we're the bad guys. Linus: The system is against us Spinner: Well I'm sick of it. Linus: That's the spirit bro. We've got to take this school back. Make it safe for the normal people. In the library Darcy: No s*x is safe s*x? Spinner: Yup. We're fighting back, me and Linus. Darcy: It's a bit extreme don't you think? Spinner: So you want Marco giving out condoms? Darcy: No. Not really, but he has the right to. Spinner: Yeah that's what Ms. Hatzilakos said. Darcy: So... Spinner: So I don't answer to her okay? I answer to someone a lot higher. Darcy: Who? Linus? Have you ever listened to Linus? I mean really listened to him? He's got a lot of views that are- Spinner: You know maybe you should just stay out of this okay?! Darcy: Fine. (She leaves and Spinner is about to go after her when Linus walks in.) Linus: Woah. Seminar's starting. You ready? Spinner: Yeah I'm ready. At the seminar Spinner: Abstinence equals safe s*x. Marco: What are you doing? Are you out of your mind? What are you doing here with signs? Spinner: We have the right to protest. Paige: Like you have the faintest idea what you're protesting. Tim: We're just trying to educate people. Linus: You're promoting promiscuity. Alex: You're promoting stupidity. Ellie: You think it's better that people have unwanted babies? Linus: I think it's better if people don't have s*x unless they're married. Marco: Stop. Look just leave us alone. Go home, go to church, do whatever! Linus: Why don't you try going to church? Marco: I do. Every Sunday. (Marco shows him his necklace.) Linus: They let you in? Marco: What's that supposed to mean? Linus: I think you know exactly what it means. The bible's clear about sexual deviancy. Marco: What?! Who is this bigoted freak?! Linus: So I'm a freak? It's better than being a homo. Spinner: Woah guys. Take it easy. Marco: No Spinner shut up. You and your friend just go to hell. Linus: So we can visit you fag? (Marco starts beating Linus and Tim and Spinner pull him off.) Linus: Don't let them corrupt you Spinner. It's what they do. Spinner: Linus if I were you I would start walking now. (Linus leaves and then Marco storms out.) At Spike's party Liz: What's the surprise? Spike: With Caitlin in charge who knows? It'll be elegant anyway. Caitlin: Dinner is served! (The male strippers come in.) Spike: This is outrageous. Manny: Try the dynamite balls. Emma: I hear they're dynamite. Caitlin: I hope everybody's hungry because food is their specialty. (A stripper starts taking off his clothes and Spike notices his resemblance to Snake.) Stripper: Sorry. You don't like chocolate? Spike: No I love chocolate. You just look like somebody...my husband. (Spike starts crying.) At the Dot Spinner: There. It's on the house for still having anything to do with me. Darcy: I'm getting used to forgiving you. Spinner: If only my best friend could see it like that. Darcy: You should go over there. Spinner: It's like walking into the lion's den. Darcy: Come on Spin. What have you got to lose? Spinner: Uh Marco. I just wanted you to know I am never talking to Linus again. K either he is out of the Friendship Club or I am. Marco: Spin you do whatever you want 'cause really I couldn't care less about you and your stupid club. Spinner: I'm not like him okay? Ellie: Spinner this is not the time. Spinner: It's never going to be the time. Jimmy: You got that right. Spinner: Jimmy shut up. Marco I am not homophobic. You know that! Okay all I ever wanted to do was be your friend again. I screwed it up okay and I am really, really sorry. At Emma's house Spike: I feel terrible. Caitlin: In this case terrible is good. Well you said you and Snake are over. You need to start dealing with that. Spike: I can't. Caitlin: You don't have a choice hon. You said the relationship is over. Spike: Not for me. Caitlin I'm still in love with him. (Emma overhears and Spike starts crying again.) Outside the Dot Marco: Spinner. You really are lost, aren't you? Spinner: You have no idea. (Marco sits down and puts his arm around Spinner.)
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