Cat and Michael's wedding weekend at a vacation house sees the doctors and their partners entwined in a murder mystery which Owen must solve.
Cat: Michael asked me to marry him. [ Both gasp ] Cat: I'm engaged! [ All scream ] Owen: Can I be your best man? Cat: You know I love you, but... the best man is going to be... 5.04 - Country Weekend Non-existent. [ Sighs ] Yeah. We're just doing, like, a casual thing with friends. Glenn: That way, everybody has a nice time. Betty: Just doing a last-minute spruce up before the guests arrive for the weekend. Cat: Oh, Betty. You've always cared for my family's country home as if it's your job. Betty: It is my job. [ Horn honks ] Cat: Oh, hi! You guys drove! Glenn: We made it here, okay? All right? Yeah, I took one wrong turn out of 100 turns. Hey, Cat. Cat: Tough drive? Marvin: No! I'm not in the charity business. Look... We either like the number or not, or I shove it up your ass. Lola: Sorry. Things are really crazy at Marvin's work. Marvin: It was just made-up. Glenn: He's been yapping on the phone the whole time. Lola: I know, I know. Glenn: I'm not talking about him behind his back. He's standing right there. He can hear me. Not everybody's deaf, you know. Owen: Hey! Lola: Hi. Oh, Owen and Denise. Owen: How great that your parents' country home is in the same part of Japan as the army base that we're living on? Lola: It's practically unbelievable. Cat: Oh, I'm just so glad you could make it. Denise: Any chance to spend some quality time with my hubby. Cat: Aww, you two. Owen: Oh, man. I am crazy about my wife. Glenn: You are so lucky. Sherry and I haven't gotten along since that time before we met. [ Horn honks ] Cat: Oh, guys, hey! Val and Al are here! Hey! Lola: I forgot. Val is dating comedy-music legend Weird Al Yankovic. Valerie: Hi, guys. This is my boyfriend, Weird Al Yankovic. Weird Al: Please, call me Weird Al... Yankovic. Or just Weird Al Yankovic. Whatever you're more comfortable with. Val's told me so many funny stories about one of you. [ All laugh ] Glenn: I heard you the first time, Sherry. I'm not blind. Okay, well, you keep yelling like that, you're gonna break something. Oh, my God. Hmm. Owen: Everyone, I'd like to propose a toast. Cat: Aww. Marvin: What part of "final offer" don't you understand? Lola: Honey, honey. Marvin: I talked to you a few days ago about this. Owen: To Cat. Denise: Aww. Weird Al: Powerful. Cat: You're gonna make me cry. Denise: Boo-boo... Lola: Wait, you guys. We're toasting the bride, but we haven't even met the groom. [ All laugh ] Cat: [ Sighing ] Oh, gosh. No, Michael's on his way home from work, and if he is running on time, he'll be here in 60 seconds. Michael: Actually, I was gonna take the 9:15 train out of the city, but I finished up early and jumped on the 9:14. Cat: Michael... Michael: Hi, baby. Cat: Hey. [ Smooches ] I wasn't expecting you for another minute. Michael: Nice to meet you all. Cat's told me so many funny stories about all but one of you. Cat: Michael's in the music business. Michael: Yeah, I'm a cashier at Guitar Center. Denise: Ooh. Cat: He's met Alex Van Halen twice. Valerie: Second to Eddie, that is the Van Halen you want to meet. Cat: So, this is Owen and his wife, Denise. And Valerie and her boyfriend, Weird Al Yankovic. Michael: Oh, hey. Cat: And that's Marvin over there. And my white housekeeper, Betty. And, finally, my very best friend in the world... Together: Lola Spratt. Lola: Hi, Michael. Cat: How do you two know each other? Lola: From Columbia. I was pre-med. Michael: And I was pre... What was it again? Lola: [ Laughs ] Cat: [ Laughing ] Pre-what? What was it again? Valerie: Cat, are you all right? Glenn: Ladies and gentlemen, I have some very disturbing news. My wife, Sherry's, been stabbed. She's dead. Owen: Somebody call 911. Cat: My folks don't believe in landlines, so we have to use someone's cell. Lola: We could ask Marvin to use his. Owen: We'll just have to wait till he gets off. Denise: Sweetie, you used to be a police officer. You can conduct the investigation for the time being. Glenn: Great idea. Owen: Okay. Cat: She's right. Owen: Meanwhile, no one here should worry about this. A woman has been stabbed, probably by someone who's walking among us, but the important thing is to focus on the beautiful wedding of Cat and Michael taking place tomorrow. Denise: Aww... Lola: Aww... Weird Al: Powerful. Cat: Not that I care at all, but how come you never mentioned anything about you and Lola? [ Slams ] [ Thud ] Michael: What do you want me to say? Am I supposed to report to you every single detail of my entire life?! Cat: Okay, okay. I'm sorry. [ Chuckling ] I'm sorry. Michael: I'm gonna get a snack. You want anything? Cat: Um...I'll take whatever's just lying around. I mean, if there's a couscous medley, I'll take it in a tagine. Michael: [ Humming ] Lola: Let me guess. Peanut butter on bread. Michael: [ Chuckles ] You remembered. Lola: It feels like just yesterday... the day I met you at that party in the 1990's. Lola: [ Chuckles ] What is that awesome smell? Is that peanut butter and bread? Michael: Not quite. Peanut butter on bread. Lola: [ Chuckles ] Michael: It's kind of my specialty. Here. Try it. Lola: Okay. Mmm. It's peanut buttery, but I can definitely taste the bread in there, too. Michael: That's exactly... what I was going for. Lola: I'm Lola. Pre-med. Michael: Michael. Pre-ejaculate making its way up my vas deferens. Lola: [ Sighs ] Michael: I figure since you're pre-med, you understand what I'm saying. Lola: You know, I still think of you fondly every time I see or taste bread. Michael: Yeah? Lola: Yeah. Michael: Well, we should get some sleep, huh? Lola: Yeah. Good night. Michael: Good night. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Classical music plays ] Marvin: Dude, you're killing me here. No, I'll call it off. I don't care. No. You tell... Michael: [ Sighs ] Together: Oh, I didn't see you come in. [ Both laugh ] Lola: [ Sighs ] Are you in the middle of a number two right now? Michael: No. Too nervous. Lola: Good. [ Moans ] Who are we kidding? Oh, this was bound to happen. Oh, Michael. Oh, I haven't had s*x on a toilet in months. Glenn: Oh, here comes Cat. Valerie: She looks so beautiful. Glenn: Oh, she looks great. Owen: Oh, she went with the white dress. Michael: I can't do this. Cat: Michael. Michael: I'm so sorry, everybody. I'm sorry, Cat. The wedding's off. Cat: Why? Owen: I can tell you why. Because his fiancée... is a murderer! [ All gasp ] Glenn: What? Owen: It look a while to put it all together, but now it makes perfect sense. Cat hated Glenn's wife, Sherry, from moment one. Sherry is a woman that can't hear anything at all! Then there's the matter of the weapon. The weapon was a stainless steel knife purchased from where? A department store. Now, then. It gives me pause as far as this being as... [ sighs ] strong a case as I'd hoped when I... heard it in my head before I started speaking. And it is actually unlikely that Cat did this murder at all. And now it's just anxiety that I have as I... look around and see everybody looking. [ Thunder crashes ] Denise! Lola: Marvin?! Marvin: What? What can I say? You caught us. I'm having s*x with Denise right now. There's no denying it. Lola: So, Marvin, were you on the phone with Denise the whole time negotiating the terms of your impending affair? Marvin: In a nutshell, yes. That's right. Owen: Denise, how could you? Denise: Let's face it, Owen. I want to have fun, and you always want to investigate Sherry's murder. Of course I had s*x with Marvin. How could I not? Owen: Wait, what? Lola: Well, then I have an announcement to make, too. Michael and I are in love. And we've decided to be together. Michael: It's too late, Lola. I'm in love with someone else. Lola: What? Michael: It happened when we were in the bathroom. Lola: But... Michael: I love you. Michael: I've been wanting to quit my job, but you needed me to be the big, fancy cashier at Guitar Center, and, you know what? I never met Alex Van Halen. Lola: [ Gasps ] Michael: I only told you that I met A.V.H., 'cause that's the kind of cashier that you needed me to be. Cat: No. I... Michael: Betty's the first woman to give me the courage to pursue my dreams. So she and I are gonna live together. And we're both gonna work for Weird Al Yankovic. Weird Al: That's right. Betty's gonna manage my Twitter account, and Michael is gonna be my personal cashier. Valerie: Were you gonna mention this to me? Weird Al: No, I wasn't. Why? Michael: Well, there's nothing left to say. I, uh, got a taxi waiting outside if you want a ride. Betty, Marvin, Weird Al, Denise. [ Zipper zips ] [ Door opens ] [ Thunder crashes ] [ Door closes ] Glenn: Oh, Mondays, right? The weekends are never quite long enough. Owen: Hey, that reminds me, Glenn. About your wife's stabbing... You know, I'm kind of stumped on this. Everybody seems to have an alibi but you. Glenn: All right, listen. Listen to me. I did it, okay? I killed Sherry. But it was only because I was angry at her. Owen: Oh. That's why your prints were on the knife. You did it. Glenn: That's exactly right. Owen: I just figured it out. Glenn: Should we go to the cops? Owen: I'll tell you what. Just this once, I'm gonna take off my investigator hat and I'm gonna put on my friend hat and let you off with a warning. Glenn: [ Chuckles ] Wow. Thank you, buddy. Owen: I owe you. You know, you just helped me solve the big murder case. Glenn: [ Chuckling ] I did. Owen: So now we're even. [ Chuckles ] Glenn: Okay. Owen: I love you, buddy. Glenn: I love you, too. Lola: Has anyone ever told you that you look like an older Weird Al Yankovic? Michael: Yeah.
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