When their secret relationship is revealed to everyone, Paige begins to wonder if Mr. Oleander cares about his career more than he cares about her. Meanwhile, Emma has a girls' night with Manny, Darcy, and Chantay and gets into a prank war with Chester and his brothers.
In the park Paige: I was fixated on your earlobes for most of the class. Matt: So my Nano computer lesson was dull! Paige: That my eyes were even open in media immersion is a testament to you. Stop worrying, okay? Matt: I'm being graded on how well I hold the class tomorrow. It's scary. You guys are scary. Paige: Marco's not scary. Marco's afraid of bees and Heather Sinclair, not scary. Unless maybe you see her in her granny panties after gym. There's also the tiny fact that you're a phenomenal teacher, so please fear not! Matt: You're sweet and not just 'cause you made lemon squares. (They're interrupted by the sounds of an ice cream truck and a crying baby.) Paige: The park. Great romance idea hun! Matt: Poor kid's being blinded by the glare of his dad's legs. Can you say whiter than white?! Paige: Yeah! Simpson. Oh my god. He didn't see us. No way. In the gymnasium Manny: I totally missed washing my hair to make it in time for this. Paige skips practice...again. Let's go for with the 3, 4, 3 star ready for a right herky jump. K let's go! Hazel: Just so you know, I am not cool with you taking over. Manny: Paige won't care. She's too wrapped up in Matt to even notice. Hazel: It's a crush. No big thing. Manny: You don't have to lie. Paige told me about her hot after school affair. Oops. I did it again. (She turns to the rest of the group) Alright guys. Let's get it together. In the media immersion lab Matt: Let's discuss how the cigarette add tries to manipulate us. Anyone? Emma. Let's hear it. Emma: Okay well I think it's aimed at a female demographic and I think the tobacco companies are trying to tell us that healthy women can smoke 'cause she's hiking or whatever. Matt: Good. Now in terms of subtler messaging. Like where is she, where is she going. Emma: I'm less sure. Chris: Probably to the ravine! Matt: That's enough Mr. Sharpe. What isn't the add showing us Emma? Emma: Anything negative. Um lung cancer, emphysema, stroke. Chris: Gonorrhea. Matt: Okay, see me after class. We'll have a lesson on respect. Mr. Simpson: Thank you Mr. Oleander. Matt: Okay moving on. What's the demographic of smokers within the age- Later, in the media immersion lab Matt: Nanotech is finally winning the respect it deserves as a science. Hazel: Paige! Paige! Paige: Shh! Mr. Oleander is teaching. Hazel: Is Manny your new best friend? Paige: Okay can we deal with whatever your problem is later? Green-eyed Hazel monster. Matt: Hazel can I have your attention please? Hazel: She spilled, about you and Mr. O! Paige: You do know that you can be secrecy challenged sometimes right? Hazel: How could you not tell me?! Matt: Hazel, hi. Didn't you hear me? Hazel: Gee Mr. Oleander, I thought you only had eyes for Paige. Mr. Simpson: Is everything okay? Matt: Uh yeah I just um, just lost my, I lost my place. Mr. Simpson: Um, Hollywood is seize on nanotech lately. Um can anyone name a movie about self-replicating machines? Anyone? In front of Degrassi Darcy: Sheila told me if you put lots of ketchup on your fries the tomato acid burns the carbs right away. Chante: She's a cafeteria lady. Ever think she's trying to get you to buy more fries? Manny: Em. What's wrong with your eyes? Emma: I'm trying to kill Chris with my mind. Manny: Oh goody. Then you can get Spinner, Jay, Craig, JT, Nate and Sean. Chante: Here's me wishing I let my dad talk me into an all-girl school. Darcy: No joke. Are you alright? Manny: Honey you can't let him upset you like that. He's just one doof!. Emma: No it's all the guys. Judging constantly. Chester: Mmm deep fried starch. (He steals a fry) Darcy: Is he not the yummiest thing you ever saw? Manny: Em what are you doing this weekend? Emma: Nothing. Manny: How about the girls and I come over and we'll have the girliest spa weekend ever. Zero testosterone! Hello? Is anyone free to console a sister this weekend? Chante: Absolutely. We're there for you. (Her and Darcy both sigh and look at Chester) Outside the school Paige: I am so, so, so sorry. Matt: Teenagers are evil. I can't go back in there and teach two more periods. Paige: What Hazel did, it was juvenile and hateful and humiliating. I promise you nothing like it will ever happen again ever. Matt: I don't want to get booted out of teacher's college. I can't! Paige: You won't. I won't let you. (A teacher walks outside and sees the two of them together) Sorry Madame Paget. Uh excuse moi. In the hallway Manny: Happy weekend Paige. Why thanks Manny and thanks for taking my practice this morning! Paige: You want me to thank you? For what, dropping a dirty bomb on my life? Manny: Practice went awesome without you and if you ask some of us, that wasn't a coincidence. Paige: You told Hazel, when you swore that you wouldn't! Manny: I thought she knew, okay? Chill. Paige: Don't use your outdated slang on me. I doubt that your mouth is even connected to your tiny, shriveled, boy obsessed brain. Manny: I'm the dumb one?! Who still hasn't figured out not to chase older guys? A guy so out of her league, it's not funny! Paige: That's big words for a girl who picks up my leftovers. Manny: Could you be more self obsessed? All you think about is your own butt, which probably does require a lot of thought, given that it's huge! (Manny kicks Paige in the butt, Paige slaps her and the two start fighting until Matt and Ms. Hatzilakos break it up.) Matt: Manny calm down! Manny: Hey Mr. Pedophile! I mean Oleander. Don't make your girlfriend Paige even more jealous of me! Ms. Hatzilakos: Manny, my office Monday! Paige, Mr. Oleander, now! Alright everyone schools out. Go home, show's over. Now! I said now. Outside Ms. Hatzilakos' office Paige: Whole world is gonna hate me if I get him fired. Marco: You're in love. What were you supposed to do? Paige: Abstain from contact with male humans, seeing as how I'm Paige, the Bermuda triangle of love. Hazel: Hi. I'm Hazel. Just who you want to see. Paige: Wow she's not just an evil backstabber, she's kind of witty too. Hazel: Paige, I am so sorry. You were right. I am secrecy challenged. Paige: At least you didn't call him a pedophile. Ms. Hatzilakos: Paige. In her office Ms. Hatzilakos: Well this was a rather upsetting day. Paige: Manny Santos is a liar okay? She lies. Ms. Hatzilakos: Nothing ever happened between you and Mr. Oleander? Paige: That would be wrong. He was tutoring me and that's all. Ms. Hatzilakos: Mr. Simpson has already left for the day, as has Mr. Oleander's advisor and frankly I'm less than comfortable discussing this without one of your parents being here. Paige: Is that totally needed? Ms. Hatzilakos: We're all gonna meet Monday at 8, but I think I should warn you there's a pretty big discrepancy in your reports. Paige: Reports? Ms. Hatzilakos: Takes on the situation. Mr. Oleander has a very different one. He told me that you were obsessed with him, that you followed him, you wouldn't leave him alone. You stalked him. At Emma's house, the girls are wearing face masks and painting nails Spike: Put this right on the scratches. More mocktails coming right up. Chante: So Paige basically fights you because of a guy? Manny: Paige basically fights me because she's a psycho wench. Emma: She fought you because guys are always turning women against each other. Darcy: Well that's true. Emma: I'd rather be the way we are now. No guys, no judging, no upset! Chante: I like that we don't have to worry about being pretty. Just us. Emma: Let's declare the revolution begun. To heck with guys. Chester: Sup girls. Darcy & Chante: Chester's your neighbor? Emma: He just moved in. So?! Chester: You're looking a little green. (The three girls get up and run inside the house.) Emma: Where are you going? Manny: I am disfigured! Chester: Having a slumber party Emmaline? At Matt's apartment, Paige knocks on the door Matt: Hi. Paige: Hi. You're just gonna say hi?! Matt: Look I tried calling. You weren't picking up your phone. I'm glad you came over. Paige: Gee why didn't I put microphone in my bra? That's such a novice psycho stalker mistake. Matt: I know you're upset. Me too. Paige: No I'm not. I'm livid, boiling, pissed beyond all recognition. Matt: Can we talk about this? Paige: You have three minutes. Matt: Paige you know what this job means to me. You know what school means to me. Paige: I'm waiting for the us part. Matt: Us? I, I figured we'd leave time to let it blow over and when it's summer we're home free. Paige: And in the meantime I get what, expelled? Referred to as that sad, desperate loony who stalks TA's? Matt: I didn't know what else to say! Paige: Please you wanted to look like the good guy. Don't kid yourself! Matt: Okay Paige you had a public fight with Manny Santos after promising me nothing else would be said! Paige: She was really mean. Why am I doing this?! Matt: My entire future is on the line... [SCENE_BREAK] At Emma's house Manny: Em's taking dibs on all the good t-shirts. She must be stopped. Emma: They don't seem too concerned with their tie-dye prospects at the moment. Chante: Chester's going to come out soon. These are 15 minutes shoes. Max. Emma: This is supposed to be about us. Boy-less fun remember? A movement?! (They see Chester and his brother's playing football outside.) Darcy: Oh my god. There's three of him! Chante: Multiple adorable Chesters? Manny: Em, I'm sorry, but it's the call of the wild. Hey Chester and copies, hit me! (Chester's brother throws the football and it splashes tie-dye water all over Emma.) Chester: Oh! Nice one! Emma: Why did you do that?! (The same brother comes over, picks up the bucket and splashes them all with the water.) Darcy: Chester! This isn't funny. Chester: You girls have no sense of humor. That was hilarious! Emma: He is so gonna regret that! At the movie theatres Alex: You know fake cheese is one ingredient away from being plastic. Paige: Oh just like Manny Santos. Alex: Mr. O's the one you should be mad at. That wasn't exactly a prince charming move. Paige: Yeah except what if I kind of miss him already? Is that bad? Shoot me. Drown me in fake cheese. Alex: It's not that bad and hey now you know he's human, not some yoga-bodied teacher god. Meery: Is this a coffee klatch or a work place? Because it sure ain't a self serve. Those things are customers! Paige: Welcome to my nightmare, combo? Dylan: Where is he? Marco: Dylan's feeling all macho about the whole Matt thing. Sorry. Dylan: No one takes advantage of you like that okay?! You're my sister. Paige: I'm working okay, Hulk? Shh! Dylan: The guy's a predator. Paige: He's like the same age as you. Are you praying on Marco? Matt's not perfect, he's just- Dylan: Just disgusting. Paige: Just wonderful and sweet and fun and he put everything on the line for me. I'm such a jerk. Outside Chester's house, the girls are sticking tampons and pads on the tree Manny: He is going to be so grossed out! Emma: K hold the ladder steady. Manny: There's no time! Emma: Please. Manny! We are women. Hear us roar Chester. Manny: Emma please be careful! (The cops show up when Emma is at the top of the ladder, the girls run away and Chester opens the window.) Chester: Hey Emmaline. At Matt's apartment Paige: Monday. Um. I'll go along with it. With your story. I lost my temper with Manny. Michalchuk's, we have temper. Matt: Paige... Paige: You can't lose your entire life, not just for kissing some selfish high school chick. It can't happen. Matt: I uh, I don't know what to say. Paige: Please don't say anything. Just try and look cute on Monday so it all feels like it was worth it. Matt: Paige. (He goes in to kiss her) Paige: There's no strings attached. Don't worry. There's no strings with us. (She leaves) In Ms. Hatzilakos' office Paige: I don't need my parents to protect me. I'm only telling the truth. I was inappropriate with Mr. Oleander and I'd like to transfer out of his class, immediately. Mr. Simpson: It's the only media immersion class offered in grade 11. You will fail the course. Paige: So I'll repeat it next year. Mr. Simpson: Every grade 12 credit is taken, Paige, for university applications. Paige: Well, then maybe I should just transfer schools entirely, now. Ms. Hatzilakos: It's May! Transferring so late, chances are you can't complete the academic year. You will fail entirely. Mr. Simpson: Have you really thought this through? You should be getting set for university, not acting like you're in kindergarten. Ms. Hatzilakos: Mr. Simpson! Mr. Simpson: I'm sorry, but I'm not buying what she's selling. Anything I saw didn't look too one sided. Ms. Hatzilakos: You saw something? Paige: Leave it sir. Please leave it. Mr. Simpson: No I can't. I trusted you with my kids. My kids trusted you, including her. Paige: Please stop it. Can we just stop? Matt's advisor: Students often have feelings for their teachers. You just took your feelings too far. We can help. Mr. Simpson: Okay I'm not going to sit here and watch this. Paige: I don't care if I fail! Can we just finish this now please?! Mr. Simpson: Daphne, who's side are we on huh?! The students or the teachers?! Ms. Hatzilakos: I need to know what you saw Archie. How can I make a decision if I don't know what you saw! Matt: We had... Ms. Hatzilakos: There's a lot at stake here. Matt: We had a relationship. Paige: What are you doing? Matt: We were seeing each other outside of school. It shouldn't have happened. I take full responsibility. Outside Chester's house, Emma is walking by Chester: Ho, ho, ho. Emma: You can't label people. Chester: Woah! I thought it was Christmas. How was jail? Emma: I only got a warning. Chester: Sadly, I got another warning, about Chuck and Chad. Emma: About who? Chester: My brothers. They're plotting their revenge. Emma: So your names are Chester, Chuck and Chad? Chester: Consider me your mole behind enemy lines, two doors down. I'll keep you posted. Emma: Okay thanks. I appreciate it. In the park Paige: I can't believe you did that. Matt: That makes two of us. Paige: You doing okay? Matt: Well I can stay in the BA program, but um, teacher's college is done. Paige: Well maybe I could call your school. Tell them it was my fault or something. Matt: I think we've learned that really doesn't work. Paige: I want you to know, you would have been worth losing my year over. Matt: Except I wouldn't have been worth very much if I let you do that. And I wouldn't have let you do that. You know that right? Not because of guilt or me being a gentleman. Paige: Matt I know. Guess the good news is, doesn't matter who sees us in the park. Matt: Yeah. That is the good news! Scenes for next week Voiceover: Love, anger, excitement and a special guest. Craig: (playing his guitar and singing) Silent Bob! Voiceover: Director extraordinaire Kevin Smith joins the cast for the show everyone's talking about. Will the school be ready for a close-up? Catch back to back episodes airing at a special time.
Modern Love