In the chaos surrounding an '80s alumni dance at the high school, Haley's birthday is forgotten, Jamie is left home alone, and Nathan and Clay are stranded 200 miles from Tree Hill. Meanwhile, Brooke's appearance at the dance with Alexander forces Julian to relive his dorky adolescence in an episode dedicated to the memory of John Hughes. This episode is named after a song by Simple Minds .
IN LUCAS'S BED ROOM Brooke : "The girl behind the brown door." Doesn't have the same ring to it. Julian : Hey, Brooke. How you doing? Brooke : Yeah, I'm just watching a teamster paint my adolescence a fugly shade of brown. Julian : Oh. I guess there's a lot of memories around here for you. Brooke : You could say that. In high school, this was Lucas' bedroom. Julian : Mm. Now that burned into my brain, how we, uh, doing on the wardrobe choices for scene 23? Brooke : The big love scene -- Slinky off-the-shoulder, tight-and-revealing. Julian : Nice. I knew hiring you as costume designer was the right move. Brooke : Thank you. Julian : Let me see them on her before I make a decision. Brooke : So...Speaking of high school memories, Haley and Quinn organized that fundraiser dance At Tree Hill High tonight. And I just wanted to tell you in case you were thinking it'd be weird to go. Not that you would. But if you did... It wouldn't. Julian : Uh, thanks, but, you know, we shoot our first scenes tomorrow, And I got a million things to do. Besides, you know what a geek I was in high school. You've seen my yearbook photo. Brooke : Yeah, that's burned into my brain. Julian : Exactly. The day I graduated, I swore I'd never go back. You have fun, though. I'll see you tomorrow. Brooke : See you tomorrow. AT CLAY'S BEACH HOUSE Kylie : Clay, I'm here for my morning laps. I even shaved certain... Areas to cut down on my time. And yours. Quinn : Ugh. Just go away already. Kylie : Ugh. Don't tell me you're in there with that miserable slag again. Quinn : Sorry. I'm such a slag. AT MOUTH'S APPARTMENT Mouth : Guys? It's a little early to be surfing for p0rn. Fergie : Don't ever say that. Junk : Don't even think it. We're not looking at p0rn... Yet. Fergie : We're changing your life. Mouth : "cantwaittofindadate.Com" Seriously? Junk : Listen, the best way to get over Millie Is to get right back on the horse -- Preferably a hot, naked, made-to-order horse. And all you have to do is describe your perfect woman. OUTSIDE Clay : Hey, man. Morning. Nathan : Morning? Where the hell are we? We left that charity event in Atlanta early so we could make it back to Tree Hill by morning. Clay : Yeah. Uh, right after you fell asleep last night, it started raining. Nathan : Yeah? Clay : Really hard. Nathan : And? Clay : One might even call it a deluge. Nathan : Clay. Clay : I missed the highway exit And, uh, drove a few hours in the wrong direction. But the good news is that we're only a couple hundred miles outside of Tree Hill, and we're driving a corvette. We'll be home faster than you can say Yao Ming. Nathan : Yao Ming. Clay : So we'll get home this afternoon. Nathan : Clay... There was a reason I had to be home this morning. AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Haley : Here I come. Hope you guys are ready for me. Jamie : Bacon, crispy. Eggs, scrambled. Milk, chocolate. Haley : Hey! Besides "please" and "thank you," Do you have anything else you would like to say to your mother? Jamie : Uh... Pancakes, blueberry? Haley : I can't believe it. They frickin' forgot my birthday. OUTSIDE Nathan : Haley, listen, my phone is bad to die. Everything's fine -- we're just having some car trouble, so I don't know when we're gonna make it home. But, Haley... Happy Birthday. Clay : Well... According to Gomer Pyle, "they don't got no fancy car tires," So they got to tow it to mount pilot. They'll have it back by tonight. Nathan : Tonight? Come o-- I got to get ahold of Haley. I always go big for her birthday. She'll be expecting something. I... Let me use your phone. Clay : Sure. It's in the car. AT LUCAS'S HOUSE Julian : Hey, Alex, I just got the gold script revisions, but I don't see any changes. Alex : That's 'cause there aren't any. Julian : Then why'd we put out pages? Alex : I wasn't gonna let the final script color be salmon. Puke. Julian : Okay. Alex : Hey, so I, um, I saw you talking to Brooke earlier. She practically begged you to go to that dance. Julian : Not quite. I think what she said was "it wouldn't be weird" if I went. Alex : Trust me. She wants you to go. Julian : I think she was just being polite. It's -- it's been weird between us since the breakup. And since when are you so pro Brooke-and-Julian? Alex : Oh, I'm a total "Brulian" fan now. One of the steps of recovery is to make amends for all the wrongs you've done. Julian : You still gonna have time to be in the movie? Alex : Shut up! AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Jamie : Why are we eating with the nice plates? We only do that on holidays and stuff. Haley : I don't know. Maybe it's the birth of a new day. Jamie : Are you feeling all right? Haley : Yeah. Listen, Quinn and I have to leave early to set up for this dance, So junk and Fergie are gonna come over to babysit, okay? Jamie : You only get those guys when you can't find anyone else. Haley : That's not true. You have fun with Junk and Fergie. Besides, the two of them equals one responsible adult. Jamie : I'm not a baby anymore. I'm old enough to stay home by myself. Haley : And I'm old enough to get arrested for child endangerment, which would be my third strike, by the way. Fourth. Quinn : Morning, Jamie! Hey, little sis! It's the big day! Oh, it's no big deal. Haley : Of course it is. Quinn : Today's the day we rescue the endangered arts program at Tree Hill High. What could be bigger than that? Haley : I can't think of a thing. Quinn : Since the theme of the dance is "return to the '80s," I get to fulfill my lifelong dream -- I'm crimping my hair. Haley : While that is very '80s, you may need to rethink your life goals. Quinn : Hmm. Haley : Listen, um, we might be flying solo tonight. I got a message from Nathan and clay. It seems like they're having some car trouble. Quinn : Really? How much you want to bet that's a ploy To get out of wearing parachute pants? I'm gonna go crimp my hair. Haley : Yay. AT CLOTHES OVER BROS Alexander : Yeesh. I'd like my margarita blended, no salt. Brooke : Ha ha. I'm thinking about wearing this to the '80s dance at my high school tonight. Alexander : Huh. What a coincidence, 'cause I actually learned everything I know about fashion From "Miami Vice" reruns. Brooke : Brooke : You were born in the wrong decade, my friend. Alexander : Yeah, perhaps. But I do make the perfect date for an '80s dance. Yeah. And by "date," I just mean a guy who wants to go strictly as friends. Yeah, I... I'm just not sure that's really a good idea. Alexander : Come on. The best way for me to meet a hot girl is to have another one on my arm. It's like a magnet. You'd be doing me a favor. Brooke : Okay. We will go as friends. Alexander : Okay, cool. I'll pick you up at 7:00. Oh, and by the way, for the whole magnet thing to work, I'm gonna need you to salvage that train wreck. AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Haley : Yeah. Quinn? Quinny, are you up there? Jamie : She's pimping her hair. Haley : I hope you mean "crimping."Listen, I have to go run some errands, okay? Please remind Quinn to stay until junk and Fergie get here. Jamie : Sure. Haley : Okay. Mwah. Love you, baby. Have fun tonight. Jamie : I will. Quinn : Hey. Was your mom looking for me? Jamie : Yeah. She wanted me to tell you That she's gonna pick up Junk and Fergie, And you can leave whenever. Quinn : Okay. AT MOUTH'S APPARTMENT Junk : Okay, little bro. No hard feelings. Believe that? Jamie just cancelled on us. He said they went another direction. Fergie : That's cold, man. Junk : Yeah. Where were we? Let's see. Must be a local girl. Hair color, blonde. Eyes, blue. Rockin' bod. Mouth : Oh, come on. Don't be shallow. Give her an I.Q. Of at least 100 and a good sense of humor. Junk : That should be everything. Come on, where's our perfect woman? Mouth : See, guys, that's just it. I've been going along With this little science experiment to show you that the perfect woman doesn't really exist. Junk : Unless she does. Check it out. We found a match. She lives in Tree Hill, and it says she's "searching for a nice guy." Who's nicer than you, mouth? Fergie : There's no photo! Mouth : Of course not. That's because "she" is probably a "he." Okay? Delete my profile. This was a bad idea. OUTSIDE Clay : Hey. I know you want get home as soon as possible, So I think I found us a ride back to Tree Hill. Nathan : Oh, thank god. Clay : Don't thank him just yet. You might want to wait until you see the ride. Nathan : Whatever. Another five minutes, And you were giving me a piggyback ride. Clay : Funny you should say that, actually. The driver says they're real friendly. Nathan : You got to be kidding me. Clay : I wish I were. Man : You boys gettin' in or what? Nathan : You're about to see just how much I love my wife. AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Jamie : Hello? Is anyone home? I'm all alone in the house? I'm all alone in the house! Sweet! OUTSIDE Clay : I feel bad, man, 'cause I love bacon. And I love pork chops. And I love ham, you know? But then I met you. Now I'm conflicted. Nathan : Look, I know you're planning On falling insanely in love with that pig, But can we please talk about something else? Clay : Sure. What did you have planned for Haley's birthday? Nathan : Jamie and I bought a ton of decorations. We were gonna do up the whole house. Clay : Sounds nice. Nathan : I was gonna make pork ribs. Clay : What's going on? Man : Well, bridge is out. Probably flooded from the deluge we had last night. Clay : Oh. What'd I tell you? Man : Ain't nobody going nowhere for a while. Nathan : Do you have a map? Thanks. Okay, we are... Okay, we're here. And if we just hike a few miles north, then we'll make it to the next highway. We can just hitch a ride home that way. Clay : I, uh, I-I don't know about that, man. Maybe we should, uh, just -- just wait? 'cause what if we get lost? Nathan : Dude, I'm like a human compass, okay? Come on. Clay : That'll do, pigs. That'll do. Wait up! AT TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL Haley : Hey, Q! Someone wrote "slut" all over your car in lipstick. It's gonna be a bitch getting that off. Quinn : You're right. Her name's Kylie. Haley : Hey, Grubbs. Thank you so much for tending bar tonight. Grubbs : No problem. In high school, I was kind of a band geek. It's nice to come back as a cool bartender. As a moderately cool bartender. It's nice to come back as a bartender? AT MOUTH'S APPARTMENT Mouth : Can you guys kick in for the pizza for once? I am unemployed, you know. Kylie : Hey, I'm Kylie. Which one of you little maniacs is Marvin McFadden? Mouth : Uh, that's me. Kylie : I'm here for our date. Mouth : I think there's been a mistake. Kylie : Your profile said that you're tall and thin, With a good body and really big...Hands. Oh, my. I hear there's a dance at the school. Do you want to go? Mouth : No. Well, I mean, yes, but ... It's just that... Why are you on a dating? You could get a date with anyone on the planet. You're not, like, a dude, are you? Kylie : Satisfied? Mouth : Yeah. AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Jamie : Yeah. Yeah. Ugh! Oh, no. It's mom's birthday. AT LUCAS'S HOUSE Julian : I just want to say how grateful I am that you're all taking this ride with me. Now let's go make someone's favorite movie! It sounded better in my head. Alex : Don't worry. I'll start the slow clap for you if no one else does. Julian : What are you still doing here? Alex : Well, it just occurred to me that you spent the entire day making everyone else feel ready for tomorrow. How do you feel? Julian : Nervous. I...I've been around movie sets my whole life, but I've never been in the director's chair. Alex : I was pretty nervous, to for my first big part. But I just kept asking myself, "How would Julia Roberts do it?" She's my favorite actress. So who's your favorite director? Julian : John Hughes. You know, "Ferris Bueller," "Breakfast club," "Sixteen candles." Those weren't just movies about teenagers. They were about the struggle everyone has to find themselves. Talk about a director with a clear vision. I-I'd like to make a movie half as good as his. Alex : Then why don't you take a cue from John Hughes? Clear your vision. Take the night off and come to the school. Maybe even dance with Brooke. Julian : I don't know, Alex. Um... I have to find an outfit from the '80s. Alex : Actually, I've got that covered. I thought you might change your mind. But just so we're clear -- this is not a date. It's not even date-ish. OUTSIDE FRONT OF CLOTHES OVER BROS Brooke : Not bad. Alexander : Brooke Davis -- stunning in any decade. AT TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL Haley : Hi, everyone! Thank you so much for coming out and supporting the arts! Quinn : So, please, everyone, give what you can And have a gnarly, totally tubular time! Um...Oh. Where's the beef? Oh. Okay, um, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... Cheap trick! AT MOUTH'S APPARTMENT Junk : You notice how Kylie smelled like strawberries? Fergie : Yeah. Junk : Mouth totally owes us. Ooh. It's a text from Haley. "How's it going with Jamie?" AT TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL Brooke : Alexander Coyne, this is Haley James Scott. Alexander : Hey. I'm a big fan. Haley : Oh, thanks. I am -- I am, too, of your detective work with tubbs. Brooke : You know, this is a big night for Haley. When we were in high school, She was always trying to bring back the '80s fashion. You got your wish! Haley : Oh, I did! I did. Um, excuse me. Brooke : 'kay. Haley : Grubbs, make me something...Strong. What? You need to see my I.D.? Grubbs, you flatter me. Grubbs : Wow. I had no idea. You're 5'4". Haley : Thank you. Good talk, Grubbs. AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Junk : I swear, I'm gonna kill that kid. Come on. AT TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL Mouth : So, your profile said you like to dance. Kylie : Maybe after a few more drinks. I'll be right back. Mouth : What her profile should have said is "like Millie on steroids." Kylie : It took me four hours To get the smoothie out of my hair, bitch. Quinn : Yes, well, I'm the one who has to drive home In a car with "slut" written all over it. Kylie : I was just trying to increase your chances of getting rear-ended. Quinn : Look, I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have poured smoothie on you. I apologize. Truce? Kylie : How american of you to pick a fight that you can't win. And just so you know, Clay told me that he didn't believe in love. So good luck with that. OUTSIDE Nathan : The highway's this way. I think. Clay : You look on the bright side, Nate -- I mean, if we actually live through this thing, think of the endorsement deals. I mean, on GPS units alone. Like, "I never would've gotten lost If it had only been for my --" Nathan : Shut up! Please shut up! Clay : Trying to make conversation. Nathan : That's the thing -- you're talking. You're always talking, man. Clay : Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that the human compass needed complete silence to concentrate. You know, maybe we should have stayed with the pigs. 'cause it seems to me that you've gotten us lost. Nathan : Me? We wouldn't even be here right now if you hadn't insisted on driving to Atlanta For a guys' road trip. If you hadn't have missed Tree Hill in the rain, If you hadn't have driven over those tire spikes, I would be home right now, clay! I'm on the road for half the year! The least I can do is be home for my wife's birthday. Clay : Nate, I know Haley. She'll understand. Nathan : Well, she shouldn't have to. You'd know that if you were ever married. Clay : Yeah, you're right. I guess I would've. I'm going this way. Nathan : That's -- clay, that's not the right way! Clay : Yeah, I know. You're the human compass. You know what? Just do whatever the hell you want. I'm going this way. AT TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL Julian : It's amazing how you can enter the building a functioning adult and immediately revert to the geek you were in high school. Alex : I'll tell you a secret. I was a geek, too. I wore headgear until the end of my sophomore year. Julian : There she is. Alex : So, geek, why don't you take a chance and ask the popular girl to dance? Julian : Maybe because the popular girl is already here with somebody else. Alex : I'm sure it's not what it looks like. Julian : It's okay. It wouldn't be the '80s without a cameo by Crocodile Dundee. I just wish he wasn't on a date with Brooke. Brooke : Of course he showed up with Alex. It's a retro dance, after all. Why should I expect anything new? Alex : Just go talk to her. We might be in a high school, but we're not in high school. Brooke : Come on. Julian : Oh, god, they're coming this way. Come on, let's hide. Alex : Correction -- we're definitely back in high school. AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Junk : Just, uh, grab that flower pot. Looks like we're gonna have to break a window. Ah! Fergie : Ah! Junk : I'm hit! I'm hit! Hold up! Hold up! Hold up! Hold up! Jamie, wait! It's us! Jamie : Oh. Hey, guys. Are you gonna tell my parents? Junk : What, that we were stupid enough to fall for your little prank? Not if you don't. Jamie : Okay, deal. But I need your help. IN TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL HALL Haley : My locker was down there. Brooke : Mine was over here. Do you remember how Lucas pimped it out the first day of senior year? I wonder if the combination still works. Haley : Brooke Davis. Brooke : What? Haley : Shut up! That's so bad! Brooke : Oh. Haley : Looks like she really loves him. Brooke : Do you ever think things were simpler then? Haley : What, the love triangle between you, Lucas, and Peyton? No. No. Brooke : Yeah. I guess love's never simple. Haley : All right. What actually happened with you and Julian? Because I do not understand why you're not together. Brooke : He's here with Alex. Haley : So are you. The boy version. Brooke : That's different. He made it clear that she's his priority right now, and I think he has feelings for her. Whether or not he admits that, I can't be the girl who's with the guy who's in love with someone else. Not again. Kylie : Tell me about it. Hey, is there someplace around here a girl can lie down? Oh, this -- this'll do.Haley : Are you okay? Kylie : Yeah. I...just need a little break. Haley : Who is she? Brooke : I don't know. Okay, just, um... You...Take care. Kylie : Ow! Ow! Wait! Ow. AT TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL Julian : g'day, mate. What can I get you? No, let me guess -- foster's? Alexander : Yeah, uh... Hey, uh, I guess it's weird for you that I'm here with Brooke. But, you know, just for the record, I'm actually a nice guy. Julian : Okay, nice guy. Well, also for the record -- If you ever hurt her, I will hunt you down across the outback. And I'm not talking about the steakhouse. Although, I will hunt you down there, as well. Alexander : Fair enough. Well, uh, thanks for the beer, mate. Julian : I wouldn't last five minutes in the outback. IN TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL HALL Kylie : Hey, can you help? My hair's stuck in the bloody door. Quinn : How did that happen? Actually, I don't want to know. Never mind. I'll go find someone. Kylie : No, don't go. I'm sorry I was such a bitch before. Quinn : It's okay. Kylie : No. It's not. It -- it's just... Clay told me that he didn't believe in love. And then you come along, and I realized what he really meant was that he didn't believe in love with someone like me. Quinn : Kylie, there's more to it than that. Kylie : No. Guys see me as a body, someone to shag. I'm lucky if they even buy me breakfast. Here. Cut it. Quinn : What? No way. Kylie : Ugh. It's just hair. It's gonna grow back. Quinn : No. You're drunk. And why do you have scissors in your purse? Kylie : I was gonna slash your tires. Quinn : Oh. Kylie : Just cut my hair, you bitch. Plus, it will still smell like strawberries, anyway. OUTSIDE Nathan : I can't believe it. You were right. Clay : Imagine that. It might be nice if you gave me the benefit every now and then Instead of just the doubt. Nathan : You're right, man. I was -- I was out of line back there. I'm sorry. Clay : Nate, there's something that I've never told you. And I don't know why I've never told you, but I just didn't. I used to be married... Before you and I met. Her name was Sara. Nathan : Right. She leave you after you started sleeping with all those women? Clay : No. Actually, she died. Nathan : Geez, Clay. I... I'm sorry, man. I thought -- I thought you were joking. Why didn't you ever tell me this? Clay : I was your agent. Nathan : And then you became my friend. Clay : Look, I know that I should have told you a long time ago, But I'm telling you now Because I get how hard it is for you... Being away from Haley so much. Clay : Whoa, slow, slow, slow! No, whoa, whoa! Woman : Aah! Don't hurt me! Clay : Ma'am, no, no. We're not gonna hurt you. It's just my friend here -- You see, he's been wandering through the woods For the entire day, and all he wants to do is get back to Tree Hill So he can spend the next few hours home with his wife to celebrate her birthday. Woman : You're Nathan Scott. Clay : You're a basketball fan, huh? Woman : Well, I do live in North Carolina, honey. I can take you back to Tree Hill. But I only have room for one. Clay : Tell Haley I said happy birthday. Nathan : There's no way I'm leaving you out here. Clay : No, it's okay. I'll catch the next ride. Nathan : Clay, come on. Clay : Nate. Go be home with your wife. Go. Thanks. Clay : Please tell me you didn't kill that nice lady and dump her body because there's no way I can spin that. Nathan : No, I just bought her car. Get in. Let's go home. Clay : Nice. OUTBACK Brooke : It's funny. I always had a thing for the guys in shop class. Julian : What happened to your date? Brooke : Come on. We're just friends. Julian : Ah, the irony is palpable. Brooke : You know I wasn't trying to make you jealous, right? You said you weren't coming, So... Why did you? Julian : It was a misguided attempt to find some clarity on the night before the biggest day of my professional life. But going back to high school just makes me feel like a geek. Not exactly a confidence booster. Brooke : Well, I've seen my share of '80s movies, and if I've learned anything is that nothing boosts the geek's confidence like a kiss from the cheerleader. I'll see you at work tomorrow. You're gonna do great. Julian : Hey, Brooke? This isn't gonna be easy, is it? You and I being friends. Brooke : No. But it's better than not being in each other's lives at all. OUTSIDE Alexander : Hey, there. I'm Alexander. You have any idea where our dates are? Alex : Hopefully somewhere together. Alexander : That doesn't bother you? Alex : Some advice, from one Alex to another -- Don't fall in love with Brooke Davis. Those two are gonna end up together, Even if they don't know it yet. Alexander : Yeah, okay. Um, well, how do you know, then? Alex : Brooke still loves Julian. And I know because... So do I. Haley : Well, whose car is this? Nathan : It's yours. Happy birthday, Hales. Haley : Oh! Mouth : It's not that bad. Kylie : Bollocks. It looks bloody awful. But you have been a trooper. So we can go and have a shag. Mouth : I can't believe I'm actually gonna say this, but, um... I can't. I mean, I can, but... We can't. Kylie : Right. So your flat or mine? Mouth : No, I'm serious. It's not that I don't want to. Believe me, I do. It's just... my ex-girlfriend, who is also my roommate. It's messy. But we could go get some pancakes, maybe soak up some of that alcohol. Mouth : Your profile was right. You are a nice guy. It's good to know there's still a few out there. Thank you. Quinn : Hey! Mouth : Are you ready to move on? Kylie : Yeah. Clay : Mmm. I'm sorry I missed your dance. Quinn : It's okay. Clay : Is this where you went to school, huh? Quinn : Yeah. Clay : Show me around? Quinn : Okay. AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Haley : Well, I guess Junk and Fergie actually did a good job. Maybe we should bump them up on the babysitting list. Nathan : Let's get him to bed. Jamie : Happy birthday, mama. Haley : Thank you, baby. Nathan : What are you gonna wish for? Haley : I already have everything I ever wanted. AT LUCAS'S HOUSE Julian : So I just want to say how grateful I am that you're all taking this ride with me. So, let's make someone's favorite movie. Man : Picture's up. Roll camera. We're rolling. Spinning. Scene 34, take one. Julian : And action!
Don't You Forget About Me