Ten years ago, I started writing an annual column making fun of bowl games. Because 82 teams reaching the postseason in any sport is a little preposterous.

Coming up with a zinger to describe the Raycom Media Camellia Bowl gets harder every year. But onward we press, because this was one of our beloved sports editor Jason Levine’s favorite things. And I’m doing this while wrapping your Christmas present, so pretend all of these are funny.

Dec. 16, R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl, Troy vs. North Texas in New Orleans: Troy beat LSU on Sept. 30, and the entire state of Louisiana is still muttering four-letter words. Troy isn’t one of them.

Dec. 16, AutoNation Cure Bowl, Western Kentucky vs. Georgia State in Orlando, Fla.: Can’t joke about this one, because proceeds go to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. That’s a good thing.

Dec. 16, Las Vegas Bowl, Boise State vs. Oregon in Las Vegas: Oregon coach Willie Taggart was so fired up about this game, he left for Florida State.

Dec. 16, Gildan New Mexico Bowl, Marshall vs. Colorado State in Albuquerque: May not be played if our government bans travel to New Mexico.

Dec. 16, Raycom Media Camellia Bowl, Middle Tennessee vs. Arkansas State in Montgomery, Ala.: After bowling in Hawaii and the Bahamas the last two years, Middle Tennessee can’t look at this as a step up.

Dec. 19, Cheribundi Tart Cherry Boca Raton Bowl: Akron vs. Florida Atlantic in Boca Raton, Fla.: Cheribundi claims it crams 200 cherries into every 32-ounce bottle of its juice. I claim there may be less than 200 people at this game.

Dec. 20, DXL Frisco Bowl, Louisiana Tech vs. SMU in Frisco, Texas: Both teams were excited until they found out this game is in Texas, not California.

Dec. 21, Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl, Temple vs. Florida International in St. Petersburg, Fla.: You can sit and watch the grass grow – then watch a Bad Boy mower cut it.

Dec. 21, PETCO Bowl, Syracuse vs. Minnesota in San Diego: Two teams going nowhere, but making a long trip to get there.

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Dec. 22, Bahamas Bowl, UAB vs. Ohio in Nassau, Bahamas: If you show up in Bermuda shorts they say, “Wrong island.”

Dec. 22, Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, Central Michigan vs. Wyoming in Boise, Idaho: Boise can be a cold, cold place. But not if you’re from Wyoming.

Dec. 23, Birmingham Bowl, Texas Tech vs. South Florida in Birmingham, Ala.: It’s easy to imagine a local watching this game and saying, “Alabama would beat either one of these by 40.”

Dec. 23, Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl, San Diego State vs. Army in Fort Worth, Texas: Army has attempted 61 passes in 12 games. That’s what I call a ground assault.

Dec. 23, Dollar General Bowl, Appalachian State vs. Toledo in Mobile, Ala.: Alabama hosts two bowl games in one day, which has to at least tie a state record.

Dec. 24, Hawaii Bowl, Fresno State vs. Houston in Honolulu: The game that makes all the other teams in minor bowl games ask, “Why aren’t we in Hawaii?”

Dec. 26, Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas Bowl, Utah vs. West Virginia in Dallas: Played at the Cotton Bowl, which no longer hosts the Cotton Bowl.

Dec. 26, Quick Lane Bowl, Duke vs. Northern Illinois in Detroit: Could have ramped up the excitement by playing this in the Pontiac Silverdome while it was being imploded earlier this month.

Dec. 26, Cactus Bowl, Kansas State vs. UCLA in Phoenix: Let’s line each sideline with cacti and watch nobody go out of bounds.

Dec. 27, Walk-On’s Independence Bowl, Southern Mississippi vs. Florida State in Shreveport, La.: Shreveport has had a bowl game since 1976, which is 41 years too long.

Dec. 27, New Era Pinstripe Bowl, Iowa vs. Boston College in New York: If you want to draw a crowd to Yankee Stadium, stage a Giancarlo Stanton vs. Aaron Judge home run derby at halftime.

Dec. 27, Foster Farms Bowl, Arizona vs. Purdue in Santa Clara, Calif.: Winner gets half off a 40-pack of Foster Farms mini honey crunchy corn dogs.

Dec. 27, Academy Sports + Outdoors Texas Bowl, Texas vs. Missouri in Houston: Texas, the biggest school in one of the biggest football states, is 6-6. How can that happen?

Dec. 28, Military Bowl Presented by Northrop Grumman, Virginia vs. Navy in Annapolis, Md.: The Midshipmen came to Navy to see the world. On this day, they’ll be seeing Annapolis.

Dec. 28, Camping World Bowl, Virginia Tech vs. Oklahoma State in Orlando, Fla.: If they’re looking to spice up halftime, a demolition derby of Camping World RVs would be fun to watch.

Dec. 28, Valero Alamo Bowl, Stanford vs. TCU in San Antonio: The only joke I’ve used for all 10 years of this column… Remember the Alamo, forget this game.

Dec. 28, San Diego County Credit Union Holiday Bowl, Washington State vs. Michigan State in San Diego: May have to move this game if the Chargers make the playoffs. Oh, wait...

Dec. 29, Belk Bowl, Wake Forest vs. Texas A&M in Charlotte, N.C.: Texas A&M is paying its next coach $75 million to get into better bowls than this one.

Dec. 29, Hyundai Sun Bowl, North Carolina State vs. Arizona State in El Paso, Texas: It has snowed during this game at least four times over the years. And they call it the Sun Bowl.

Dec. 29, Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl, Kentucky vs. Northwestern in Nashville, Tenn.: I’m going with the Wildcats in this one.

Dec. 29, Nova Home Loans Arizona Bowl, Utah State vs. New Mexico State in Tucson, Ariz.: Like some types of cicadas, these schools emerge to meet in a bowl game every 57 years. Just like the 1960 Sun Bowl, I’m calling it New Mexico State 20-13.

Dec. 29, Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic, USC vs. Ohio State in Arlington, Texas: Good game, but I’d rather watch O.J. Simpson box Ezekiel Elliott.

Dec. 30, TaxSlayer Bowl, Louisville vs. Mississippi State in Jacksonville, Fla.: Hard to predict, because Congress may pass new rules in the fourth quarter.

Dec. 30, AutoZone Liberty Bowl, Iowa State vs. Memphis in Memphis, Tenn.: Nothing makes you want to work harder in the offseason than playing a bowl game in your own stadium.

Dec. 30, PlayStation Fiesta Bowl, Washington vs. Penn State in Glendale, Ariz.: No rain for Washington fans, no snow for Penn State fans. Fiesta!

Dec. 30, Capital One Orange Bowl, Miami vs. Wisconsin in Miami Gardens, Fla.: Every Wisconsin fan will be wearing red. Half will be shirts. Half will be sunburns.

Jan. 1, Outback Bowl, Michigan vs. South Carolina in Tampa, Fla.: Wouldn’t it be great if someone spilled a Bloomin’ Onion on Jim Harbaugh’s khakis?

Jan. 1, Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl, UCF vs. Auburn in Atlanta: As Mr. Havercamp said to Mrs. Havercamp in Caddyshack, “That’s a peach, hon.”

Jan. 1, Citrus Bowl presented by Overton’s, Notre Dame vs. LSU in Orlando, Fla.: Irish fans walk into a bar – any bar - only to find it cleaned out by LSU fans.

Jan. 1, College Football Playoff at the Rose Bowl Game presented by Northwestern Mutual, Georgia vs. Oklahoma in Pasadena, Calif.: A real game, so here’s a real prediction – Oklahoma wins 35-28.

Jan. 1, College Football Playoff at the Allstate Sugar Bowl, Alabama vs. Clemson in New Orleans: Too close to call, but we’ll call it Alabama 20-17.

Jan. 8, College Football Playoff National Championship presented by AT&T, teams to be determined, in Atlanta: We’ll go with Oklahoma 34, Alabama 31. But if Georgia beats Oklahoma and gets to play in Atlanta…

If that’s not enough, tune in for the East-West Shrine Bowl, Jan. 20 in St. Petersburg, Fla. Defensive lineman Bilal Nichols, of Hodgson Vo-Tech and University of Delaware fame, will be trying to impress NFL scouts.

By the way, that PETCO Bowl isn’t real. I made it up. But it blends in nicely with all the others, and if it kicked off at 10 p.m. on ESPN2 way too many of us would watch it.

Contact Brad Myers at Follow on Twitter: @BradMyersTNJ

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