It’s not exactly “Big Love,” but New York’s tough divorce laws have made Matthew Gerber an unwitting “bigamist.”

Gerber was granted a divorce five years ago, and then remarried. But because New York is the only state left in the nation without a “no fault” law, his first wife appealed and a court overturned the divorce, leaving them legally hitched.

Gerber and his second wife, Maria — who live upstate with twin toddlers — hope their unusual plight prods lawmakers to finally reform New York’s divorce system.

“I was unhappy. My marriage was broken,” Gerber said of his first union, which lasted nine years.

But misery or incompatibility alone are not grounds for divorce in New York state.

Unless a couple agrees to separate for a year, it takes mudslinging. A spouse must prove the other had an affair, refused sex for a year or was guilty of “cruel and inhuman treatment,” as Gerber alleged.

Gerber, 49, would not discuss his divorce, but lawyers said he cited less-than-horrendous reasons for the split — like bickering over what color to paint a room and his wife’s refusal to hold hands in public.

“She was constantly criticizing his decisions, and it was getting under his skin,” said his former lawyer, Peter Bloom. “It was all nonsense, but it got to the point where he couldn’t deal with it anymore.”

Gerber’s first wife, Ingrid, 54, contested his case. “I think she still loved him and wanted to try to be true to the vow she took,” said her lawyer, Peter Hickey.

A state Supreme Court judge granted the divorce in June 2004. But Ingrid appealed, and won a reversal in February 2005 — three months after Gerber married Maria Costa, 39.

In a public opinion, the appellate judges said Matthew’s testimony that Ingrid “made him feel . . . agitated, annoyed and bothered” wasn’t enough. They found “no evidence that her conduct created any threat to his health or safety.”

“It was a big shock,” Matthew said.

The ruling in effect voided his second marriage. Now he can’t claim Maria as a dependant. They can’t jointly file tax returns. Their twins were born in a legal limbo.

In a pleading letter to legislators, the couple say they’ve spent a bundle on lawyers but his first wife “refuses to negotiate.” Ingrid, a corporate finance specialist who lives in Brooklyn, earns more than Matthew and had no kids with him.

Sondra Miller, a retired judge who chaired a state committee on divorce reform, said no statistics exist but a “significant number” of divorces are denied by judges statewide who find insufficient grounds. “I am convinced the families of New York suffer grievous harm for the lack of a no-fault law,” Miller said.


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