Saturday, April 14, 2007

Beti - paraya dhan

Jaya Bachchan, in an interview to Karan Johar on the eve of the Abhishek-Aishwarya wedding.

KJ: You think that she is the perfect choice for the family?
JB: I think so. I think that it is wonderful because she is such a big star herself. I have never ever seen her push herself whenever we are all together. I like that quality of hers to stand behind. She is quiet. She listens and she is taking it all in...

The minute she comes in it is like our daughter Shweta coming home for Amitji, and he lights up. I think that she will fill the vacuum that Shweta left behind. It is tough to accept that Shweta is not a Bachchan anymore and she is out.

Yup, the more things change, the more they say the same.

Women must 'keep their place'. Be humble. Step back... And Shweta, once married is 'not a Bachchan'. She is 'out'.

Maybe Jayaji didn't mean it that way... But it sounds like an ultra-traditional family to me.

It's none of our business, of course. Aishwarya understands the expectations of the Bachchan family and is willing to live upto them. But one can't help wonder... A woman who has been so independent, kya woh hamesha ke liye is tarah jhuk ke reh sakegi?

The first flush of love does not last forever.Like every other ordinary couple, Ash and Abhishek may eventually have to fight that out...


  1. Yeh to 'Ghar Ghar ki Kahani hai' 'kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi' Aur saas ne kabhi 'Rishtey' ke liye Bollywood - Bollywood game chhora tha !

  2. "The first flush of love does not last forever"....

    first flush...for whom...??

    Its more about third time lucky here...

  3. Hi Rashmi,

    You cannot expect more than that from someone who makes their daughter marry a banana tree because she is a 'manglik'. When 'idols' in the country behave like this and publicize it, it is not a surprise that India continues to live in multiple centuries.

  4. rightly said "the more things change, the more they say the same".

    To think this is Year 2007 and worldviews like that of the esteemed Jaya Bachan ji seem to hold sway.

    There are currently 4 serials on air that REALLY get my goat: one is a serial called "Saarthi" on Star One and the other two are clones of each other called "betiayaan-paraya dhan" on Star One and Zee and finally "Maayka" on Zee. In one uou see a bahu being ill-treated and burned by her husband. When the police come to take her statement, she says it was an accident in order to keep up the "izzat" of her inlaws and family. What bullshit. in maayka one of the female protagonists only aim seems to be to get married and then get tortured by the stereotypical saas.

    if i had the time i would surely file a PIL against these serials. sigh!

  5. hope it dont go down the drain for em..they make a nice pair!

  6. I swear! Ego clashes will occur eventually.

  7. well I think she has respect for elders.

    Some people do! you know !

  8. I guess thats the price aish is ready to pay to enter Bollywoods "first family"....sad really..

  9. Many of our celebrities and public figures have a very regressive mindset, that is why some things never change in India.

  10. 'beti-paraya dhan' concept seems to be prevalent everywhere..thaks to the 'aadarsh waadi' serials where the only aim of the protagonist is to get married and fulfill the demands of her in-laws, making all the neccessary compromises. Are 'betiyaan' still regarded as a 'boj' on the family! lets hope Aish lives upto the Bachchan's expectations.

  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

  12. hmm got similar thoughts while watching KWK...
    Perhaps the most sough after wedding of the decade...
    and this is a rocking blog..Worth 1.25184691 million Indian rupees..BRILLIANT !!!!

  13. Rashmi, I think that was a bit harsh and unnecessary. Quite akin to Jaya herself, Ash has not been very keen to talk about her relationships in the media. I am also certain anything Jaya says about her daughter in law is bound to come in for criticism either way just as AB sr. found out, a few months back. On a different note, the whole Salman episode didnt really paint Ash in a charitable light especially the question on how a smart and independent women put up with all that mental & physical abuse. So you can bet any post marital discord in the bacchan household isn't going to become public in a hurry. It is not going to be easy though for any of them. It's all about dealing with each others expectations. All the best to them (all 4 of them).

  14. I don't know why Ash is doing this. It cracks of continues is not important but we have to wait for another Ash to liberate Indian woment, may be Hillary.

  15. Rashmi,

    Dont understand whats with this jhook ke rahnaa stuff ?? Maybe all that Jaya Bachchan wanted to imply was she had no airs inspite of being a huge star...

    And what is "traditional" and whats wrong being "traditional"? Listening respectfully to your elders is wrong ??

  16. It's just human nature! She is a mom, and perhaps wouldn't want a daughter in law who isn't too traditional. Perhaps it's time that she lets her son go, but then we don't let go off easily. After all, don't we edit teens magazines even when we are 30+ :)

  17. I agree Rashmi, after talking about equality and women emancipation, we come back a full circle to talk about how women should step back and shut up and fill the voids created by others!! It just proves that mindsets have nothing to do with how successful you are. You could be a Bachchan and still so politically incorrect!

  18. What exactly is your point here! It is not that Bchchans are going to burn Ash and are forcing her into things. If you are respectful to family ,does that mean you are "jhuk gaye"! Dont all of us do that ..sometime play by rules which are antiquated just not to hurt the family!

    Undercover Indian

  19. It was a well- intentioned statement. Maybe not as well phrased…I am the most outgoing & outspoken person I know but even I wouldn’t mind being described as this. Rather, I would take it as a compliment. There’s nothing wrong in being humble. Besides, Jaya Bachhan herself epitomizes those traits so am guessing she values them more as well.

  20. qcudn't have agreed more with u!

    i saw an interview with AB Sr. recently. they asked him whether aish will work after marriage, he said abhishek will decide that. i was like.. why shud abhishek decide that!!? aish shud decide what she wants to do..

    this whole thing - visiting umpteen temples, n then aish being prefect-traditional-bahu is like going back in time. it's like fools party. i hate bachchans now with all this drama.

    all the best to aish..

  21. There is nothing bad in that. Does it not happen in West in one or other? Why english ladies has to change their surnames when they are married. It is a big error to see Indian culture through the parameters of the West.

  22. And we care about this because....!

  23. Hey Rashmi,

    I don't think Ash will actually end up being a traditional 'jhuk ke jeene waali' housewife...i think she is amazingly misunderstood in the media..she is actually quite an amazing person - very kind hearted,loving,caring and at the same time very strong in the head...and very liberal in her thinking...
    But ya, Bachchans as such are a bit of a traditional family..i found one comment given by Mr.Bacchan
    very irritating - he said that the decision about whether Ash should continue working will be taken by Abhi and Ash....really, Ash is the only one who has the right to take this decision..its her life..and anyway why does only the wife have to make this 'decision' of whether to continue with her work??

    btw, do check out my blog at
    - i will be glad to exchange links :)...

  24. The Bachchans have proven themselves time and again to be one of the most regressive and mendacious families in filmdom. Starting with blatant lies about crime rates in UP to hobnobbing with glorified pimps like Amar Singh to getting a prospective daughter in law to marry a tree to remove some "manglik dasha" - they have shown their shallow, conservative, illiberal colors time and again.

    My respect for the entire clan has plummeted to extremely low depths.

    Mind you Ash is not to be spared either. She is a wishy washy excuse for a woman - getting beaten up by Salman Khan physically and now browbeaten by Jaya metaphorically. She's no ideal!

  25. "I like that quality of hers to stand behind"

    What is this drama?

  26. She is just being practical. She knows that her years are passing and she will need more than just being a beautiful doll to remain someone somewhere.

    Her efforts at becoming a sexy bimbo oflate in movies are possibly a part of the same effort.

    This one was a smart move.

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