Pro Wrestler Anthony Bowens Tackles Stigma, Bisexual Erasure

Earlier this year, professional wrester Anthony Bowens came out as bisexual.

And now, the 26-year-old is opening up about his fight against the stigma and erasure of bisexuality.  

Bowens was heartened by the support he received from friends and colleagues after coming out.

What he did not anticipate was the need to participate in a dialog over the validity of his sexual orientation. 

“I thought there would be more negativity around the stigma of me being a part of the LGBTI community.

“But the negativity came more from people debating and arguments over bisexuality and what it means to be bi or gay.”

He added:

“But in my opinion, you can be a man and still be bi and that doesn’t change the fact that you’re sexually turned on by a female."

Bowens explained that if it weren't for the homophobia that runs rampant in sport, he'd probably have come out earlier.

“If it wasn’t for wrestling, I probably would’ve come out a long time ago but I didn’t know how people would react.

“It’s the fear of the unknown.” 

He continued:

“I like to consider myself an emotionally strong person.

“But I did have my moments where, if I was by myself, I would cry thinking about it.”

But thanks to his friends, family, and his boyfriend, Michael Pavano, Bowens felt he was well supported in his coming out.

“You can’t control what people are going to think, but at some point, you have to look past that, be yourself and not care."






The problem is no one knows what it means to be "bisexual" any longer. Does being "turned on" by a gender sometimes equate to having actual sexual attraction to that gender? Does simply being turned on by a singular body part that a gender has to offer equate to being bi? Are you legitimately bi if you have only very minor sexual attraction to that gender? Are you bi just because you can manage to sexually engage with a gender but you know that you have no sexual attraction to that gender? What if you have real and substantial sexual attraction to a gender but zero interest in engaging with that gender sexually or romantically? What if there's sexual attraction for that gender but no sexual passion for or with that gender? What if you can develop romantic feelings for a gender but you have zero sexual attraction to that gender? What if you look to frequently sexually engage with a gender you know you don't have any sexual attraction but get plenty of enjoyment out of it? Is being "physically attracted" to a gender the same thing as "sexual attraction"? What if you know you're never gonna have a real relationship with anyone outside of one gender? What about having practical and loving relationships with a gender you have no sexual attraction to or romantic interest in? Does that make you bi or is that a "straight for comfort" or "gay for comfort" situation?

Because the definition of "bi" has become so diluted and stretched all over the place and because so many people use it to cover up certain things (sadomasochistic and megalomanic instincts and fetishes, internalized homophobia and desperation to hold on to hetero-normalcy, a narcissistic need for attention, pedophilia/hebephilia/ephebophilia based attractions) and because the majority of bi-identifying people are in opposite gender relationships and don't seem to care much about "gay causes" and because so many seem to contend with ego problems it's become a more controversial "label" than ever, and it often leads to more questions. It has almost become a "non-identity".

That's why I don't have a problem with "labels" like hetero/homo-flexible or even "queer" or "pan-sexual" ("fluid" is another story). It's also why I long ago shunned the "bi label" and started to identify as "homo-dominant". It's something actually tells people the direction that my sexual attractions, passions and romantic instincts veer. I see "bi" as something for people who actually have real and substantial sexual attraction to and passion for men and women and who can view either a man and woman as a potential "life partner". Besides, being honest about who you truly are, what motivates your behavior and what you want is far more important then succumbing to a "label". That latter is actually and authentically "coming out". 

Finally, I've never heard of this dude before (as often is the case with "celebrities" who come out). But good luck to him. 

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