Veterinarians do better work when they're awake

  • It's always unfortunate to have a typographical error on your business sign, but when you're a restaurant announcing a 'Pus Tax,' you've hit another level.
It's always unfortunate to have a typographical error on your business… (conitributed photo )
August 19, 2013|Bill White

There were several entertaining bloopers in recent sports headlines, and I'll get to those in a moment.

But let's begin with the death of a gorilla at the Philadelphia Zoo and some unusually selective rules about children on a mountain coaster.

A bunch of people jumped on a headline that explained, "28-year-old primate, largest in the reserve, was being looked at by vets under anesthesia."

"It's no wonder the gorilla died," wrote a guy who clipped and mailed it to me.

"They need to find out why the vets were under anesthesia," emailed another reader. "Seems irresponsible to me."

Still another wrote, "I can only wonder if the gorilla would have received better care if the vets weren't anesthetized."

A recent story about the Camelback coaster included a box with information, including the rules for kids. "Children ages 3 and 9 must ride with an adult," it says.

"Keen!" wrote the reader who spotted this. "Kids 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 can ride alone?"

A caption accompanying the same story mentioned that riders can use "break bars" to slow the cars. I think I'd be more inclined to use them if they were "brake bars."

Now on to the sports world. A bunch of readers commented on a golf headline that reported, "Sixth-two-year-old shoots 72 in first round, the best score among area golfers."

"Amazing athletic accomplishments for those two-year-olds," wrote one reader.

"I'll bet Tiger himself couldn't have done that well in his youth," wrote another.

For the record, it was a 62-year-old who shot the 72.

Another headline reported, "Chase Utley goes 3-or-4 for the Phillies, who have lost three straight."

"I think Utley would prefer 4," a reader commented.

Still another headline, about changes in college football tackling rules, read, "…a player can be ejected from the game in addition to incurring a 15-year penalty against his team."

"That seems pretty harsh," wrote one of the readers who commented.

Now, some quick hitters:

And You Don't Even Have to Pick Off the Gravel and Cigarette Butts. Online review of New York deli: "I just adore their zabar branded hot dogs which taste just like the ones on the sidewalk."

Unless She's Uncertain, It's a Waiver. Quote from story about Amanda Seyfried's career and her reluctance to disrobe for a TV series: "I signed a nudity waver."

Hey, Carrying It Around A While Might Be Good Exercise. Bargain Box classified ad: "Exercise Equipment — Bike, Lifestyler; walker; fitness trainer; elec. typewriter. $50 each."

Back to the Future. Feature story: "… The ancestors of author Gladys Taber have preserved the home that Taber made iconic …" Those would be descendants, as a couple of readers pointed out.

The Real Reason for the French Revolution. News story: "Brilhart said that the IWW scheduled its protest on Bastille Day, the anniversary of the French Revolution, which was led by the working class, to draw attention to the use of forced labor in U.S. prisons." The reader who zeroed in on this one wrote, "Thank you, Morning Call, for allowing me to enjoy 'continuing education!'"

At Least They Didn't End the Sentence With a Preposition. Obituary: "She is the daughter of Charles and Carol C, to whom of which predeceased her."

The IRS Is Branching Out Into Menswear. Column: "I visited the Broad Street store for a taxedo to wear at my son's wedding last May."

Sir, May I See Your Hiking Permit? Headline: "South Whitehall considers hiking permit fees."

Throwing Clothes. News story: "Silvia Valentini, 54, of Switzerland sorted threw a clearance rack of colorful blouses …"

Master of Chicken Administration. Engagement announcement: "[The groom] received both his undergraduate and graduate degree from Perdue University."

It's Corps. Common in obituaries: He was in the "U.S. Marine Corp." or "U.S. Army Air Corp." They aren't corporations.

I'd Complain, Too. Headline: "American killed in Egypt protests, US official confirms."

New Variety. Restaurant Ad: "Peel and East Shrimp."

Where Was the Rest of His Body? Story about the late Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez: "His death followed repeated treatments for cancer in his pelvic region in Cuba, the country of his idol Fidel Castro."

That's Climatic. New York Times article: "Lonnie G. Thompson, one of the scientist who essentially discovered global warming, has for years climbed mountains to gather ice he examines for climactic changes."

Sounds Like a Horror Movie I. Subject line for fractured business solicitation from China: "Injection and die."

Sounds Like a Horror Movie II. Weekly paper's story about new hot dog place includes a photo that shows the owner and "his father severing up some dogs." 610-820-6105

Bill White's commentary appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.

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