How Is It “Occult”, “Pagan”, or “Satanic”?

Jason Pitzl-Waters —  June 3, 2009 — 10 Comments

A near-fatal horse mutilation in Fife, Scotland has the local authorities scrambling to find a culprit.

“A four-day-old foal has been slashed across the neck at a farm in Fife. Police and the Scottish SPCA said the black and white mare is lucky to be alive after the incident near Cupar. Authorities believe last week’s attack was deliberate. Fife Constabulary have launched an inquiry and are considering whether the attack may have been carried out by pagans…”

How terrible that this has… wait a minute, did he say “pagans”? Why would he think it might be Pagans?

“…the attack may have been carried out by pagans dabbling in the occult ahead of the summer solstice on June 21 – a key date in the occult calendar. A police spokesman said: ‘We certainly will not be discounting the line of enquiry that it is related to satanists.’”

So is it Satanists or Pagans, I’m confused. They must have some evidence other than “near the Summer Solstice”, right?

“It is one isolated incident at the moment and we can’t immediately tie it to anything specific.”

Ah, so it’s merely a theory then. No actual evidence. Not that this stopped a sensationalistic (and slanderous) story from getting printed, or police from basing possible suspects on a random guess instead of actual physical evidence. Then again, maybe Pagans and Satanists roam the countryside in Scotland slashing at horses in the run-up to the Summer Solstice, and I’m just missing out on this well-known tradition.

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Jason Pitzl-Waters


  • TRM

    It couldn't possibly be a budding sociopath could it, now? It *must* be Pagans and Satanists….they are the only ones, afterall, who kill animals.

  • Tenosce

    It may have been a Jack-the Ripper kind of thing. You, know, someone who thought he was with a local prostitute.

  • Erik

    Probably a deranged "Equus" fan… quick, close the theatres!

    • Yvonne Rathbone

      Probably people dabbling in Daniel Radcliffe. Or claiming to anyway.

      Poor little horse. Epona take you in.

  • Freeman

    Look at the other headlines from Fife, they are all kinda sick. I think there's something in the water or the people in that area are drinking some lead-based whisky or something …

  • mamiel

    I blame the chupacabras.

  • Matt Stone

    Could have been a bunyip

  • Lora

    That's because they used a gun. Guns = crazy rednecks. Everything else = satanic pagan occultists. Apparently.

  • Lokisgodhi

    Cheval for Odin! Delicious.

  • Bjorn Odinsson

    ROFL Trik. . .hear hear, those damn Zoroastrians are so nefarious ;-)