Short Story: I woke up MARRIED!

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Photo credit-


Asantewaa woke up one morning startled. There was man lying on her bed snoring. She lifted her upper body and looked at the man trying to figure out who he was. She tapped him on the shoulder but he did not move. She shook him, a little harder now. He woke up and stared at her totally dismayed, maybe a little annoyed. He rubbed his eyes with his fist as if rubbing off the sleep too.

Asantewa asked, “Who are you?’

The man gazed at her, more bewildered by the question than being woken up so early.

“Asantewaa, what is happening?” He managed to say.

“What is your name and what are you doing on the bed?” She repeated the question, louder this time. He looked at her and smiled. She  repeated the question the third time and at this, he sat up straight,

“You are joking right?”  He asked, puzzled.

“I am serious.” She replied sternly, “Who are you and what are you doing on the bed with me?”

He shook his head as if trying to properly arrange her question in his mind. “I am your husband and this is our home.” He answered simply.

“You are my what?” She screamed.

“We are married.” He answered simply.

“How, when and  where was that?” Asantewaa asked, louder.

” We got married in your church. On the 14th of March.” Asantewa tried estimating the number of years she  has been married, but she couldn’t remember.

“How many years have we been married?” She asked him. Before he could reply, a girl of about four years entered the room. Asantewaa grew curious. She asked her ‘husband.’

“Who is this?” She asked, pointing to the girl who has just entered the room.

“Will you cut the jokes. I think you are beginning to get on my nerves” Her ‘husband’ replied. She could now sense his irritation.

“I am not joking.” She replied. ” I seriously do not remember you or our marriage or her.” She added, pointing to the little girl. He heaved a sigh and replied slowly, “That is our daughter. She is four years old.”

Asantewa  looked at the little girl who came running to her, calling her mummy. The little girl gave her a hug and the sweetest smile she had ever seen. She asked Asantewa to help her prepare for school. What a morning? Asantewaa said to herself. First this man claims she was his wife and now, this little girl is implying she is her mum.

Her ‘husband’ was now sitting quietly, deep in thoughts, trying to decipher if something bad had happened to his wife. He looked worried. Asantewa jumped from the bed with the little girl pulling her away.

The man held her dress and asked, “Asantewa, are you serious about this whole dimentia thing? Don’t you remember us or the marriage or her?” He asked.  “Should we see a doctor?”

She looked at him and asked again, “What did you say your name was? And what is her name?”

The man looked at Asantewa sadly, but replied, “We have to see a doctor. Did you hit your head against anything?”

He walked towards his wife and started examining her forehead. Before Asantewa could stop him, the little girl started pulling her away,  insisting she goes to help her prepare for school.

Asantewa repeated her question, “What is her name again?” Pointing to the little girl. She could see tears welling up in the eyes her husband’s eye.

Maybe she had taken this joke too far, she asked, “Kweku, what is today’s date?”

He looked up, sat still for a few seconds and replied, ” 1st April.”


Raw Passions : Her Side of the Story II

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(Photo Credit-


He stood there staring at her naked body while she glared at him with fear and bewilderment in her eyes. Her eyes were wide open as her mind worked over time to ascertain what to do. Maybe she should scream, but even if she did that, she knew nobody would come to her aid because his parents were not at home and the closest house was at least four miles away. Screaming will be fruitless. She thought of kicking him in the groin and running away, but that will equally be fruitless. He will catch up with her in no time and even do something more drastic. She decided she will bear whatever was about befalling her.

It was painful though, looking at the guy she thought she knew so well. Maybe she had to suffer the fate she had brought on herself. After all, she was the one who started making the ‘moves.’ He pushed her onto the bed, unbuckled his belt and pulled down his trousers revealing only his boxer shorts. With trembling hands, he unbuttoned his shirt, took it off and dumped it in the pile. He walked to the bed in a rather slow motion, as if he was not too sure what he was going to do next. More like a lion and a prey. He dropped rather heavily on her and looked her straight in the eye. He started brushing his hand on her naked thigh.

She feared the worst. Endurance was her keyword. She was going to go through it, whatever he was about doing to her, she will decide what will become of their relationship later.  She laid there motionless when unexpectedly, he stopped rubbing her thighs. There was still silence in the room. The laptop, which was showing the movie earlier, had even gone off. He looked down at her on the bed and broke into tears. She was amazed at the switch of emotions. She didn’t comprehend. He jumped off her, took the cloth which was folded neatly on the bed, and threw it to her to cover up her nakedness. He picked his clothes from the bed and walked to the adjoining bathroom.

She sat on the bed trying to process everything that had happened. She jumped out of the daze and dressed up, still in a pensive mood. She sat on the bed when she was done, totally at sea of what his next act was going to be. He returned from the bathroom, properly dressed, but looking sullen. He knelt by her feet and broke into uncontrollable tears, while he apologized profusely, blaming the devil for his attempted ‘misdeed.’ She was baffled. She looked down at him and wondered if he knew this guy at all.

Raw Passions: His side of the story

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(Photo Credit-

I sat behind her in my room. The more I shifted to the other side of the bed, the closer she drew towards me. I could smell the pomade in her hair and the perfume in her dress. Yes, we have vowed to stay off any form of intimacy including cuddling, kissing ,sex, etc. I only brought her to my room to show her a movie on my laptop and as we watched, she kept snuggling closer and closer to my side. I was feeling uncomfortable, I kept my cool though.

As the smell of her perfume filled my nostrils, it became overbearing. Let’s just say I lost my cool. I drew closer to her now. After all, this is the lady I will be getting married to in future, so what is the big deal if we did something beautiful and different tonight? My blood began to boil as I felt her body close to mine. I started whispering sweet nothings into her ears. I didn’t know what she wanted, but I knew what I wanted. I raised my hand and touched her left breast, she starting whimpering. I could see the fear and confusion in her eyes. Have I misread her emotions? My hand still laid on her breast and she made no attempt to take it off. I pulled a little bit harder at it. The room was silent except for the movie which was still showing on the laptop and the pounding of our hearts.

I have always imagined how our first time was going to be during our honeymoon. Of course, I have assured her I was never going to attempt anything ‘crazy’. We have both vowed to remain chaste. That was months or even years ago. But tonight is different. She was the one who kept snuggling closer. I was the one who kept pulling away. She was the one who started everything, so what am I supposed to do, now that she has succeeded in turning me on. I could feel heat emanating from my body.

I jumped off the bed and pulled her closer to me. She felt warm and God, didn’t she smell good? I held her tight in my arms and shut my eyes, wanting this moment to last. I drew away and tried to read the sentiments in her eyes, since she has suddenly gone dumb. I have been playing this scene several times in my head even before today, but in those scenes, I expected her to pull away. The look on her face spelt fear, but I knew her body wanted something more from me. I pulled her closer again into my arms for a tighter cuddle. It was as if we were being held together by some force, it felt good, I must admit.

I was disorientated too. What is my next move going to be? Should I just leave her to go or I should listen to what was going on ‘down there.’ I held her in my right arm and with my left hand, I tore her dress to see what she has been hiding all these years, and my God, what a sight? She was so beautiful.


Raw Passions : Her Side of the Story I

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(Photo Credit-


I am  trying my hands on something a bit more creative this time.  Raw Passion is in three parts: two parts from the point of view of the lady and the last part, from the point of view of the guy. Hope you  enjoy it……….

She felt close to him; It was that intimate kind of closeness. As he sat behind her on the bed with his head leaned on her shoulder, he started whispering sweet nothings into her ears. She felt great.

“This is what I have been missing all this while.” She thought to herself. “Something I haven’t experienced yet.”

It felt good and she did not want it to end. She kept inching closer and closer till she could feel him behind her. Suddenly she could feel something heavy of her left breast. She touched and it was his hand.

“What was he trying to do?” she thought

Things started getting a bit rough. She could just feel it, a premonition maybe. The hand that laid on her breast was now pulling it so hard she could feel the pain. Her heart was racing. She was getting scared because this was not what she had had in mind. She tried taking those heavy hands off her breasts, but it seemed he was stronger than she had imagined. She could feel the bulge in his pants. “There!” She thought again, “I have done it.” She had turned him on in the wrong kind of way. “Is there a right and wrong kind of intimacy?” She asked herself.

They have vowed to stay off any form of intimacy including cuddling and kissing till they got married.  But that was months or even years ago. Has he changed his mind? And was it her fault? All she wanted was some closeness. Not all of these.

He got up from behind and stood right in front of her. She thought it was over. But no, he was not finished with her yet. He pulled her in a rather tight embrace now. Very uncomfortable. He pulled away and took a step back. He looked at her intently, rather strangely, as if that was his first time seeing her. It almost felt as if there was fire in his eyes. She knew he was burning with passion and desire. He came closer again and held her tight. Even tighter than before. She could almost taste his desire. But that is something she knew she cannot satisfy simply because they have vowed to stay chaste. A vow is a vow, something that should not be broken so easily, right?

It’s not as if she has it easy. She has also been having her share of sleepless nights. There were times when she felt she needed someone close. But she knew she stood no chance of getting that kind of satisfaction. At least not now. She only sought for closeness, an embrace was what she had in mind. She didn’t mean to wake passions in him. She never imagined this will happen. It was as if he could not pull away from her.

His demeanor suddenly changed. Everything about him became rough, even the embrace. She started fearing what was going to happen next. Still holding her in his right arm, he tore her dress with his left hand. He threw the dress away as he stared at her partially exposed body. She didn’t recognize him at this point.



An Open Letter to All My Ex’s- Miss Dee’s Version

Letters to EXs

Letters to EXs


Yes. Miss Dee has a subject for this blog,thanks to LizardoMD (, a guy whose blog she follows. An Open Letter to my Ex’s- Miss Dee’s version. This is especially dedicated to those who wish to know about her love life.

This blog is not to spite these guys she has dated, but rather to inform them of the kind of impact their relationship has made on her.These are not also crushes she has had over the years (from adolescence till now, Miss Dee’s crushes are numbering up to 500), but real relationships or near relationships, that she has been involved in.Some lasted for a few weeks, others, up to a month and the longest was almost a year. They all followed a particular trend (maybe she should add a graph to represent the trend). And that trend was, the relationship being fun and interesting in the beginning and later getting boring. She was always the one who seemed to call off the relationships too. Miss Dee has always been the heart breaker, sort of. Not a good feat though, but something to blog about today.

As LizardoMD used colours to represent the different people he had dated over the years, she is going to use some of her favorite foods (which are mostly junk, by the way) to represent the guys. So there!

Dear Chicken Wings,

Since you were the first guy that I nearly dated, you get to become my chicken wings (one of my favorites). You were kind, lovely and had such a wonderful family, very large for that matter.  Speaking about your family, your little sister thought I was a threat, since I was snatching all the attention from you.

letter (photo credit:

letter (photo credit:

You loved plantain chips very much and I remember how I used to get you some on my visit (since there was just one of it). We all nursed dreams of entering the university at that time. I don’t really know what the problem was, but all of a sudden, I lost interest in the relationship before I even accepted your proposal. In fact, I was thinking of accepting your proposal, but before I realized, our attempted relationship had taken a downward curve. Diminished returns had set in on us even before the proposal acceptance. Our conversations became drab, especially the compulsory ‘free night’ calls. I simply lost interest. I had to bow out. But thank you very much for accepting the ‘break up’ without a fight. I wouldn’t have known how to have handled it, since that was my first real attempted relationship. I believe your sister now has you to herself. No more competition from me.

Dear Potato Chips,

Well, you came into my life in such dramatic style. We exchanged email addresses and you acted caring in the beginning.  So, I became interested. It was fun with you-the outings, the gifts, the frequent phone calls etc. You taught me so many things- some good and others- things I wouldn’t even attempt doing now- but it was learning experiences for me. Somewhere along the line, I realized you were just making me do stuff that I didn’t want to do so I had to let go. Our conversations centered on a particular theme- your dad. It became boring. Too boring for me. And you were too demanding. Demanding too much of my time and of me.  I am not blaming you entirely for everything that went wrong. As I said, it was fun being with you and such a growing up stage. I saw you recently, though. Looking all grown and suffering from some kind of amnesia. It seemed you had even forgotten all about me. You even struggled to remember my name and where you knew me from. It was quite amazing, because our relationship lasted over 6 months. So you had no excuse to forget me like that. I guess that was how unimportant I was to you. It was sad, because I still do remember you and the kind of fun we used to have together.

Posted letter (photo credit: )

Posted letter (photo credit: )

Dear Chocolate Milk Shake,

Did I ever tell you that our relationship began in the same dramatic way like Potato Chips’? I guess I didn’t. But I am telling you now. Both of you came into my life like you were offering me some help on a particular issue.  I didn’t even get that particular thing solved, since you both became more interested in the person with the issue than the issue you were supposed to have helped me solve. Anyway, I have also developed some kind of memory deficit with how it was, being with you. I remember a few things though- your height, your family’s preference for a particular tribe, which unfortunately wasn’t mine and your crazy philosophies too. I also remember you liked books. Yes, now I remember. Our first date was at the bookstore. I went with you to get a book. You also loved ‘free night’ calls. No, yours was more of ‘free dawn’ calls, after you had finished studying. Well, casting my mind back, I don’t blame you for loving the free dawn calls, because you were a student then. But our relationship ended in the most dramatic way like the way it began. Something that I know you have regretted so much. I haven’t regretted, maybe not much. In fact, I am cool with it. I really would not have known how it would have been, since your family despised my tribe. It was great knowing you. I am still thinking of ways for you to make it up to me. Maybe, I should make you get me either my Nissan Versa 2012 model or the Samsung Galaxy Tablet I have always wanted. I will send you the pro-forma invoice of the above items.  Please remember, I hold no grudge against you, but if you are thinking of making it up to me, I am in need of those items I have mentioned. Looking earnestly to hearing from you.

Dear Chocolate Cookies,

I didn’t know I would be sitting behind my laptop writing something about you in this fashion. My breakup with you was the messiest, since the whole world knew about us. We were an item back then. Our chemistry was based on something that we shared and that particular thing was always the subject matter of our conversations. Though, I wanted our relationship to be on the quiet side, you went public with it. No wonder all eyes were resting on us- wondering where our relationship was going to end. No wonder I could not take the pressure. No wonder I reconsidered the whole relationship with you. No wonder I concluded it was not love, but something else. I concluded that what I felt for you was more of admiration than love. I admired your passion for excellence, your academic achievements and how you had gone through life the way you had done. Too bad it ended that way. But, I still remember you though. It was not all fun with you like the others. You were also demanding, even more than Potato Chips. If I am supposed to present an award to the guy who gave me the most pressure, I would without a second thought, hand over that award to you. Yes, that was how much you pressurized me. Our relationship was more of a full time course for me, since it was difficult understanding you and your ways. I think I matured most during our relationship and my break-up with you.

Your Super Ex,

Miss Dee.

Miss Dee’s New Year Resolutions

Yes. So the break is over. It’s now time to get back to serious business. Miss Dee would have to snap out the holiday mood. So far it has not been easy snapping out of the high spirits. As she dragged herself out of bed this morning, all she wished for was everyday being Christmas.

Yes. So it is New Year, 2014. Some have resolutions, others have given up on keeping them. Keeping resolutions is like running a race; in the beginning it is easy but as the months roll on, it becomes difficult, almost like trying to lift a car with your little finger. Miss Dee remembers when she was younger, she thought resolutions meant, when you were a bad person the previous year you had to become good and if you were good, you had to be bad. But she now gets what resolutions are. And this year, the theme for her resolution is BEING ME. No more pretence, no more trying to be Miss Nice Lady, no more everybody first before me. Miss Dee can almost feel the excitement as her theme for the year rings in her mind. Being Me, will imply the following;

Firstly, there are some things that people do which Miss Dee is yet to understand. This category of people just wants to make conversation whether there is a conversation to be made or not. For example, they see you washing clothes and they ask you, “So what are you washing?” or  you are busily reading a book and just to make conversation,  they walk up to you and ask, “So what are you doing?” This year anyone who asks Miss Dee such obvious questions will either get the rolling of the eye, or the pretence that she has not heard the question or a term that Miss Dee learned from her secondary school called ‘rot blowing’. Yes, so those people will get ‘rot’ for their answer. So lesson number 1. Do not try to make up conversation with Miss Dee if you do not have anything relevant to say.

Secondly, those people on the social media networks, particularly on Whatsapp, who like playing Mr. or Miss Mysterious, please do not try this game with Miss Dee in 2014. If you know this is your first time calling or ‘Whatsapping’ or you are using a different line to call Miss Dee, please do not imagine it’s her duty or responsibility to know you. And when Miss Dee politely asks you who you are, please do not give her answers like, “It’s your secret admirer” or “Oh, so you haven’t saved my number?” or the most annoying one, “Guess who it is.” Please, Miss Dee has given you prior notice. No such games this year. The year is going to be hectic; Miss Dee will definitely not have time for guessing games.  But if you still want to play the guessing game with her, there is only one thing that she will do to you; Miss Dee will just block your number and if it is a phone call, she will cut the line. At least she is giving prior notice.

And please, Miss Dee hates forwarded messages. Those on Whatsapp, please find original messages that you have written yourself and send it to her. If you forward too many things that you have also received from other people, you risk your number being blocked. Those messages which say “send this to 12 people in 10 minutes and God will bless you or you will receive good luck.”  Please, in 2014, don’t think of sending such messages to Miss Dee.  She will give you 3 chances, on the 4th forwarded message; she will block your number.

Fourthly, this year, let’s all try to mind our own businesses. Those people who like poking their noses into the affairs of people. If you know you cannot offer any assistance to the person, please do not ask these; “Eii….So haven’t you found a job yet?”  Or, “So when are you also going to get a boyfriend or girlfriend?” Or “So when did you say you were getting married?” Such questions will receive the answers they rightly deserve from Miss Dee.

Finally, this is to the guys. Those who always feel like befriending every lady they see, as Miss Dee said earlier, the year is going to be hectic so please, no such games. One of the most annoying things Miss Dee has realized is that, as she is walking briskly, these funny guys will call her attention and expect her to either slow down, so they catch up with her or stop walking entirely to chat with them. What kind of behavior is that? Therefore in 2014, if you see a young lady walking by the roadside, and you wish to chat with her, you either jog and catch up with her or you keep to the pace that she is going. Please do not expect her to stop whatever she is doing to give you all her attention. Do you, the guy, know where Miss Dee is headed towards? And you expect her to wait for you?

Anyway, Miss Dee has also come up with a dress code for guys who wish to approach her with the aim of befriending her. Please, do not be in baggy jeans or shirts, with some chains all over your body like some slave and walking as if you cannot carry one of your legs. Yes. Miss Dee has outgrown this category of guys.  The other no-no is shiny or silver suit. Not just the suit but Miss Dee hates all shiny clothes.  And please no pointed tip shoes. This category of guys should not even attempt to approach her. The official dress code for guys who wish to speak to Miss Dee in 2014, is black trousers that fit nicely (it should not be either baggy or skinny) with well ironed long sleeves, neatly tucked in, very nicely trimmed hair and beard. And remember, no pointed tip shoes. If your shoes are pointed, wait, when you are able to save enough to buy a non-pointed shoe, then you can come and make conversation with Miss Dee. She nearly added that guys who want to befriend her should drive nice cars, but she realized that standard is a bit too high for this year. Maybe, that will be in her 2016 resolution.

Yes, and not forgetting this, please if you are asking Miss Dee to stop for a conversation, make sure your English is impeccable. No sentences like “Oh, so you are go? I am try to speak with you but you are go?” or “Am want your number” or “I am want know what your house is.” No. in 2014, Miss Dee will not give her phone number to anyone out of pity or politeness. She will tell you right in your face that she is not giving you her number, especially if your grammar is terrible. And when she refuses to give you her phone number, please do not say, “Ok, so you don’t want me give your number, then make I give you mine so you can call and at least say hi” Really? Bad English interspersed with wrong attitude. You want her to have your number so she calls you to say hi?  If you have the guts to say that to Miss Dee in 2014, you will not want to know what her response will be. WARNING, PLEASE DO NOT TRY IT.