Seriously, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here but how is this not apparent to everyone? And before crypto-bros come out of the woodwork and say that I don't understand crypto, I read the original whitepaper maybe a year or so after it came out and have kept reasonably well informed on crypto stuff since then.

Early days bitcoin was kind of interesting but it pretty quickly became apparent that it could never function as a consumer currency. If Bitcoin attempted to process even 1% of the transactions that AMEX does in a day it would take weeks to verify a transaction. So if it can't be used a a currency WTF is it? People started pointing out that gold is largely worthless except as an agreed store of value so they said 'well can't Bitcoin be that?' No, of course it can't. Gold has physical substance and the backing of nation states, it's value is protected by legal and social institutions. Yeah, all money is fake but Bitcoin is the fakest of all.

At the end of the day all crypto is worthless until you can find someone to trade you actual fiat currency for it, because it can't be used to fucking buy anything! That means that all crypto is just a 'bagholder' scam it works as long as the next idiot comes along to hold the bag. Fundamentally, it is no different from the holofoil comic book covers that almost destroyed the comics industry in the speculative bubble of the 90's, except there's a level of exposure the size of a small western European country. No party lasts forever, every bubble bursts, time is a flat fucking circle!