(CNN) -- Fatmire Feka glanced at the skies over her Kosovo village. Storm clouds darkened the horizon, and rain started to fall.





"I felt as if God was crying tears of pain," Feka says. "God was crying because he knew what was about to happen."





It was a chilly Tuesday morning on April 20, 1999, and Feka was on the run. Village guards had warned her family that Serbian paramilitary units were rounding up Albanian Muslims for execution. She ran out of her home with her family and fled to a nearby forest to hide.





As the 11-year-old Feka headed to the forest, she could hear bombs exploding and rifle shots crackle behind her. What happened next would leave Feka with nightmares that remain to this day. She would lose her older brother, Sami, and her older sister, Sadete. Both are still missing.





Feka, now 22, is an internationally known peace advocate who travels around the world talking about reconciliation. Yet she admits that talking about forgiveness is far easier than practicing it.





"I have been struggling with this forgiveness thing,'' she says. "I cannot forgive anyone because I don't know what happened to my brother and sister. I don't know who took them, for what reason, and who I am supposed to forgive?"





Why the 'truth must be spoken'





It's a long way from Kosovo to Afghanistan, but Feka's story offers some insight into the difficulties that may await the Afghan people.





NATO forces are escalating attacks against the Taliban. Yet many observers say only a negotiated settlement with the Taliban will ultimately bring peace to Afghanistan.





Read more about other nations' lessons for Afghanistan





But the challenges would not end with a settlement. Afghans who saw their loved ones brutalized or murdered by the Taliban will face the same challenge that Feka faces: How do I live again with the people who caused me so much pain?





The short answer is forgive them and move on. Feka's experience, though, suggests that doing so can take years and be excruciatingly difficult.





Feka says that before she could forgive, "the truth must be spoken." She wanted to know what happened to her brother and sister.





"If I know the truth -- who did it and for what reason -- I will be able to make peace," she says.





How Feka moved on





Feka says she thought she would die on the last day she saw her brother and sister. When she ran for her life, she says she saw dead bodies on the side of the road. While resting at night, she could hear screams and shots in the distance.





During a recent speech, Feka told her audience about one image from her journey that set her and the other children on edge.





"I remember children were crying, but what scared us the most were that adults were crying, too."





She says she lost contact with her brother and sister after her family decided to split up. Her 19-year-old sister, Sadete, and her 17-year-old brother, Sami, decided to accompany her uncle as he made a run for a safe region in Northern Kosovo.





Her uncle returned four days later, alone and bleeding from a bullet wound to his shoulder. He said Serbians had attacked them, and he could not remember what had happened to Feka's brother and sister.





Feka says she hated Serbians after her siblings' disappearance. Then she met Rudy Scholaert, then a manager for World Vision, an international Christian humanitarian organization.





Feka's family was staying in a homeless shelter with other Muslim families. Scholaert taught English to the kids in the shelter and talked to them about moving beyond revenge and violence.





One day, Scholaert says he gave the kids crayons and paper. He asked them to draw what peace meant to them. The kids drew pictures of burned-out homes, tanks and guns -- except for Feka.





"She drew a beautiful home with red flowers, trees, birds and a
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