(LifeWire) -- The TV no longer sits on a moving box, but she's still using filing cabinets as end tables. Desiree Jacobsen graduated from college years ago, so why does her apartment resemble a dorm room? It's hard to save for the finer things when you've had to shell out money to be in five weddings in one year, three times as maid of honor.



Some maids of honor have gone deep into debt rather than disappoint a friend who expects a lot.



"I shop at the Salvation Army quite a bit to save money," says Jacobsen, 26, a medical editor in Dallas.



Being a bride's maid or matron of honor is a distinction many women cherish. But it doesn't come cheap.



It can easily cost a woman $1,000 or more for the honor of standing beside the bride on her big day, according to TheKnot.com, the leading wedding Web site.



On top of the traditional expenses of wedding attire, transportation and chipping in for a gift from the bridesmaids, maids of honor can wind up hosting bridal showers, bachelorette parties and even the co-ed Jack and Jill party -- often footing the bill entirely.



Expectations are reaching bridezilla proportions, a trend Anna Post, spokeswoman for the Emily Post Institute and great-great-granddaughter of the etiquette authority, attributes in part to the extensive coverage of celebrity weddings on television and in style magazines.  Watch etiquette tips on attending wedding events »



Many bridesmaids are left torn between maintaining a friendship and breaking the bank.



Tough to say no



When Sarah de Maintenon, a 33-year-old real estate agent in Syracuse, New York, agreed to be her best friend's maid of honor two years ago, the economy was good and houses were selling like hot cakes.



But the currently slow real-estate market means that money has become tight as the big day -- scheduled for October -- slowly approaches.



"I seriously just didn't know. I thought it was just a bachelorette party," says de Maintenon of the events she was expected to throw and attend. Her distress over the destination wedding sent her seeking advice online. The advice she received was simple, but effective: Talk to her friend and be honest about her situation.



"I contemplated telling her I couldn't do it, but I couldn't break her heart," she says. "I was afraid it would cause an argument ... I didn't want to ruin her wedding day."



Jacobsen hasn't skipped a wedding, but she did once skip the pre-wedding bridal portrait, which she would have had to travel out of town to participate in, because she was short on money and vacation time.



"She was upset with me for a little while, but it quickly blew over because I started planning for her bachelorette party." When feelings get hurt, Jacobsen says, she tries not to take it personally. "It's usually because of the stress of the wedding."



Etiquette rules vs. reality



Is all this necessary? Are brides asking too much of their friends?



Post says that contrary to popular belief, the bridal shower isn't the maid of honor's obligation. Traditionally, a close friend would throw a bridal shower for the bride, and sometimes that person is also the maid of honor. But expenses can be agreed upon in advance and shared by the entire wedding party. And though there may be multiple parties thrown for the happy couple, Post says, the maid of honor is not required to go.



"That's not true," claims Kim Bohnert, a 32-year-old teacher in San Francisco. She's served nine stints as maid of honor and considers herself an expert bridesmaid.



She insists that the entire bridal party -- especially the maid of honor -- is expected to attend all parties and shell out for a gift each time.



"It definitely adds up," says Melissa Bauer, spokesperson for TheKnot.com. Bauer ticks off some of the major expenses: about $300 for a dress, $50 to
What does a Bridezilla expect? Who is expected to organize bridal showers? What do Bridezillas expect? What may more women reconsider as the economy gets tough? What will women reconsider?
a lot. maids of honor a lot. shop at the Salvation Army between maintaining a friendship and breaking the bank.
question: What does a Bridezilla expect?, answer: a lot. | question: Who is expected to organize bridal showers?, answer: maids of honor | question: What do Bridezillas expect?, answer: a lot. | question: What may more women reconsider as the economy gets tough?, answer: shop at the Salvation Army | question: What will women reconsider?, answer: between maintaining a friendship and breaking the bank.