(LifeWire)  -- For some, Valentine's Day can be heavenly. For others, it's just plain hell.



Take Felicia Sullivan, of Brooklyn. Four years ago, she and her live-in boyfriend -- the guy she thought she would marry -- were having a pre-Valentine's Day brunch when Sullivan leaned over and whispered a few sweet nothings in his ear.



"I said, 'I'm so happy to know that you're the one for me. Aren't you glad to know I'm the one for you?' " says Sullivan, 32, who works in marketing.



"And there was this silence. And then he was, like, 'I know you're the one for me now. But can you give me until summer to make a final decision?' "



Aghast at his response, Sullivan quickly broke things off -- but she couldn't move until she found a new apartment. Home alone on February 14 in the apartment they shared, she decided to snoop through her ex-boyfriend's e-mail and discovered he'd had contact with several other women while they were together.



"I've never been a big fan of the holiday," Sullivan says. "But now I typically refer to it as Black Monday..."   Watch whether romance is still alive »



Good times, bad times



Sullivan isn't alone in dreading Valentine's Day. Thanks to super-sized expectations and over-the-top commercialization, February 14 has gone from a sentimental aside to a pressure-filled gauntlet lined with chocolate boxes, tennis bracelets and cheesy stuffed bears.  See where the love dollars go »



"The holiday's designed to make you feel (bad)," says Judy McGuire, author of "How Not to Date."



"If you're in a relationship, it's never anything that it's supposed to be. And if you're single, you feel like a big loser because you don't have anybody. I think people should lower Valentine's Day expectations to pretty much nil. That way, anything that happens is good."



Brian Wise, a 32-year-old technical writer from Seattle has seen his Valentine's Day go sideways repeatedly -- most memorably the time he ended up in handcuffs (and not in a good way).



"Last year, I was in Singapore and I met this beautiful woman who took me to dinner at this hot, new restaurant,'" he says. "But then she gets food poisoning and ends up in an alley with major gastrointestinal problems. And while I'm standing guard, the cops pull up and think I'm paying her for sex."



Wise talked his way out of an arrest (luckily, one of the policemen had eaten at the same place) but he's found no release from his unlucky Valentine's.



"It doesn't matter who I'm out with," he says. "The day is just cursed."



There are ways, though, to avoid a miserable holiday.



Good plans



Most women will admit they like to celebrate, but a fancy night on the town isn't necessary.



"Sometimes, hanging out at home can be a lot more fun than going out to some restaurant filled with couples," says author McGuire. "Stay home with champagne, caviar and maybe a new toy from a tasteful sex shop."



If you're not dating anyone, take some time to indulge yourself (a luxurious bar of chocolate, a pedicure), do something relaxing (take a yoga class or get a massage) or spend time with some of your closest friends.



Make sure you're on the same page



And if you do make plans, stick to them.



Galen, a 28-year-old secretary from Seattle, and her boyfriend had made special Valentine's Day plans a month in advance. But on the big night, his buddies showed up and talked him into going out with them instead.



"I was dressed to the nines," says Galen
Who was the women? What other name did a woman refer to Valentine's day as? What was the man's worst Valentine's Day? What relationship between man and woman?
Felicia Sullivan, of Brooklyn. Black Monday..." met this beautiful woman who took me to dinner at this hot, new restaurant,'" he says. "But then she gets food poisoning and ends up in an alley with major gastrointestinal problems. And while I'm standing guard, the cops pull up and think I'm paying her for sex." live-in boyfriend
question: Who was the women?, answer: Felicia Sullivan, of Brooklyn. | question: What other name did a woman refer to Valentine's day as?, answer: Black Monday..." | question: What was the man's worst Valentine's Day?, answer: met this beautiful woman who took me to dinner at this hot, new restaurant,'" he says. "But then she gets food poisoning and ends up in an alley with major gastrointestinal problems. And while I'm standing guard, the cops pull up and think I'm paying her for sex." | question: What relationship between man and woman?, answer: live-in boyfriend