(Mental Floss) -- We all want to live forever. But, chances are, you'd rather forego a legacy altogether than have your name be synonymous with a goofy flub like a spoonerism or a dim-witted word like "dunce."



You can find a saint under tawdry in the dictionary.



For the following eponyms, we ask: Did these word-inspiring folks really deserve their drag through the linguistic mud?



1. Dunce



Dictionaries don't play fair, and John Duns Scotus is proof.



The 13th/14th-century thinker, whose writings synthesized Christian theology and Aristotle's philosophy, was considerably less dumb than a brick. Unfortunately for Scotus, subsequent theologians took a dim view of all those who championed his viewpoint.



These "Scotists," "Dunsmen," or "Dunses" were considered hairsplitting meatheads and, eventually, just "dunces."



2.(slipping a) Mickey



When you have to drug somebody against their will (hey, you gotta do what you gotta do), it just wouldn't sound right to slip 'em a Ricardo, a Bjorn, or an Evelyn. It's gotta be a Mickey.



At the turn of the 20th century, Mickey Finn was a Chicago saloon owner in one of the seediest parts of town -- and he fit right in.



Finn was known for serving "Mickey Finn Specials," which probably included chloral hydrate, a heavy sedative. After targeted customers passed out, Finn would haul them into his "operating room" and liberate them of all valuables (including shoes).



Never a Host of the Year candidate, this Mickey seems to have thoroughly earned his legacy, so don't hesitate to use it the next time you drug and rob your own customers.



3. Spoonerism



Reverend William Archibald Spooner (1844--1930) was famous for his muddled one-liners.



And though it's hard to know which ones he actually said, lines such as "I have a half-warmed fish" and "Yes indeed, the Lord is a shoving leopard" still prove that the sound-switching flub is pretty charming as far as mistakes go.



The spoonerism has even been used as a literary technique by poets and fiction writers, giving Spooner little reason to roll over -- or otherwise inarticulately protest -- in his grave.



4. Lynch



Although several Lynches (not including David) have been investigated by inquisitive etymologists, Virginia native Charles Lynch (1736--1796) is most likely the man behind the murderous word.



Lynch was a patriot, a planter, and a judge. But when he headed a vigilante court to punish Tories (British loyalists) during the American Revolution, he decided to play the roles of jury and executioner, too. Lynch has more than earned his besmirched name.



In fact, he did half the besmirching himself by egotistically referring to his actions as "lynch law" and "lynching."



5. Shrapnel



While battling Napoleon's army, English General Henry Shrapnel (1761--1842) noticed that original-flavor cannonballs just weren't massacring enough enemies for his liking.



So, to get more shebang for his shilling, he filled the cannonballs with bullets and exploding charges. These "shrapnel shells," or "shrapnel-barrages," were pretty darn effective, and later designs proved even more successful in World War I.



Shrapnel didn't get much credit for the "innovation" during his lifetime, but he ultimately contributed to enough death and misery that he pretty much deserves to be synonymous with a violent, metallic byproduct of combat.



6. Draconian



A Lexis-Nexis news search shows that folks are still talking about "draconian policies," "draconian penalties," and, most frighteningly, "draconian sex rules."



Though Athenian lawgiver Draco is not entirely confirmed to have existed, if he were real, then around 621 B.C.E., he instituted two time-honored traditions: 1) writing laws down and 2) making laws that were batcrap-insane



They include ascribing the death penalty to such atrocities as
Who built more deadly cannonballs? Who wanted to put lazy to death? Who built deadly cannonballs? Where does the word Draconian come from?
General Henry Shrapnel Athenian lawgiver Draco English General Henry Shrapnel Athenian lawgiver Draco
question: Who built more deadly cannonballs?, answer: General Henry Shrapnel | question: Who wanted to put lazy to death?, answer: Athenian lawgiver Draco | question: Who built deadly cannonballs?, answer: English General Henry Shrapnel | question: Where does the word Draconian come from?, answer: Athenian lawgiver Draco