What I know about men: Will Young, singer, 30, single
My father is brilliant - he's a very generous man and a bit of a quiet anarchist on the side. It was hard for him when I first came out and he was very honest about it.
For lots of parents, they have to face their own prejudices that maybe they're not even aware of themselves, and I think he struggled for a while, probably feeling a little bit ashamed and then guilty for feeling ashamed. But what's great about him is that because of what's happened with me and my brother Rupert he's grown with it - so he understands what it is to be gay, he understands what it is to be an alcoholic, he understands what it is to be a depressive, rather than being closed, which so many parents, particularly dads, are.
I'm 10 minutes older than Rupert. As twins, you get bracketed as certain types and then get stuck in those definitions. I was the clever one, he was the sporty one; I was the sensible one, he was the physical one. He was always my protector when I was little - he was always tougher than me. I was more sensitive. Our roles completely changed when his problems started. He first cut his wrists when he was 18. Then I became his protector, the one who always calmed things down. Ironically, when he was better I didn't know what to do because my role was taken away. It had always been, "William's fine, look after Rupert", and then suddenly I had to sort out all the shit I'd had on the back burner for years.
For a long time I was terrified of being gay. I didn't have my first relationship until I was 25 or so. I'd had a big unrequited love at university. I hadn't come out then and I just thought I'd go to university and meet someone - that would be it. Of course he was straight. I fell madly in love with him and it all ended very dramatically, with me moving out of the house we shared. He's married now and we're still friends.
When I met my first boyfriend, Aaron, I'd already become known from Pop Idol. You have to deal with all the normal stuff in relationships and then there's the media attention on top of that. He was getting grief and it was tough. That was even more of a factor when I was with Connor afterwards. But I think it's a cop-out to blame fame for making relationships hard. Relationships are difficult full stop.
When you're talking about two men together they're not always the best communicators; they tend to bottle things up. And men are quite competitive and have egos, and that's hard. I remember going to a party with Connor and it said "Will Young plus one" on the list. And it was his friend's party. That kind of thing is hard to take.
Some men have trouble keeping their trousers zipped up - in straight relationships as well. In my first relationship I'd see someone and think: "Cor!", but you don't always have to act on it. I wonder if some gay men think they can't have a monogamous relationship because of the idea of "that's not what we have, we're free, we can shag anyone". I wouldn't want my partner to go off and shag someone else, ever.
Of the men that I've been out with, as much as there have been times I wanted to murder them, I've learnt so much from them too and grown as a person from each one. I've had a wonderful time in my relationships, really; done amazing things. And as much as you go through a grieving process after a relationship ends, you know that eventually you'll want that again.
Will Young, musician. Photograph: Martin Godwin
Will Young's album Let It Go is out now on RCA Records.