Character on the couch #14: The Pied Piper
Each week we subject drama's great personalities to psychoanalysis. Today the Pied Piper, appearing in The Ratcatcher of Hamelin, is played by Dennis Herdman. The analyst is Leo Benedictus.
Good afternoon.
(Spitting with fury) Pstoo cotto battido pustra! Grrrng!
You seem agitated today.
I'm livid. You do someone a favour and you expect ...
Tell me what's happened.
Well, I'm in pest control, and I came to Hamelin hearing they had a rat problem. I said, 'If I can sort this out for you will you give me 1,000 guilders?' Yes, was the emphatic reply. So I did the job, everything was hunky-dory, and then - I had a feeling this would happen - they went back on their word.
So you personally exterminated all the rats in Hamelin?
Of course.
How did you do that?
One might say it's a trade secret.
A very large trap?
It's not a trap! It's an instrument, with 15 separate calibrated components.
And they kill rats?
Not just rats. Gnats, bats, sprats, lobsters. Moles.
What was it that drew you to pest control?
(Staring maniacally) I enjoy the areas where other human beings are afraid to go.
So they need you?
I make them feel good about themselves.
And does that make you feel good about yourself?
(Pause) Yeah.
And yet being the bogeyman makes it difficult for others to acknowledge you.
People don't live the kind of life I live. They are content to sit at home in their cosy little town and live their cosy little lives, while I deal with pests.
That must be very lonely.
Well ... I'm different.
How is this affecting you, day to day?
I think I'm quite calm, considering. I know what I have to do. I got rid of their worst nightmare, so now I can rid them of their pride and joy, their nearest and dearest.
Why do you feel you must do that?
They betrayed my nearest and dearest feelings.
I see. Now, what you're saying does concern me. Do you think you pose a danger to the people of Hamelin?
Of course.
Right. What was your GP's name?
I might even pose a danger to you, and to my GP.
OK. Let me just go and make a phone call. I'll be right back.
· The Ratcatcher of Hamelin is at BAC, London SW11 (020-7223 2223), until January 14.