Answer me
Full Name:
Clive Stuart Anderson
Have you ever adopted a pseudonym and, if so, why?
William Hague, so I could lead the Conservative Party.
Have you ever lied about your age and, if so, why?
I pretended I was 17 so I could fight in World War Two, but I was under the age of 14 and couldn't persuade them.
How would you describe yourself in a lonely hearts ad?
Dishonestly.
What was the last illegal thing you did?
It's impossible to drive a car without breaking the law, and I did take part in the Brinks-Mat robbery.
What was the last kind-hearted thing you did?
I do everything with a kind heart, but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
Who's the nicest person you've ever worked with?
That's a hard one, I've only worked in the legal and TV professions.
What are the initials of the most unpleasant person you've ever worked with?
AA
Has a critic ever made you cry?
Gasp yes, cry no.
What would you advertise without a fee?
The Charity Card.
What would you never advertise?
I don't advertise, but never say never.
What wakes you up screaming at four in the morning?
I don't get to sleep before 4am.
What takes you to a "happy place"?
A dram of whisky after dinner.
Clive Anderson presents Hypotheticals tonight and this Thursday on BBC2 at 11.20pm.