The Review Christmas quiz
John Banville
1. Who thought to cry out to the angelic orders?
2. Whose was the necessary angel?
3. Who had an angel to dine?
Sebastian Barry
1. Which mid 19th-century American writer, in a letter to his friend Hawthorne, said this about which of his own novels: "I have written a wicked book, and feel spotless as the lamb."?
2. Which Irish poet said this about his career, and where: "I dabbled in verse and it became my life."?
3. Which iconic comic American actor said playing which play in Miami in 1956 "was like trying it out in truant school, or playing Giselle in Roseland"?
Antony Beevor
1. In which novel by which writer was the fictional ideology of nihilism invented?
2. Whom did the social-climbing Madame Verdurin finally marry in Proust's A la recherche du temps perdu?
3. In which 1987 novel did John James Todd make the last great silent movie which proved to be a commercial disaster?
Craig Brown
1. Which author used to smuggle snails into France 20 at a time, 10 under each breast?
a) Colette
b) Patricia Highsmith
c) AS Byatt
d) GK Chesterton?
2. Match the comment by Jessica Mitford to the person:
a) A super-pig in all ways.
b) To know him was to loathe him.
c) He sounds ghastly.
d) If I was him, I'd be a lot nicer.
i) Tony Blair
ii) LBJ
iii) Edward Kennedy
iv) God
3. Who did Ted Hughes describe in a letter as looking "somehow like a paper clip"?
a) John Selwyn Gummer
b) Michael Barrymore
c) Aubrey Beardsley
d) Jacques Tati
Jilly Cooper
1. Who wrote in which poem, and which breed was the woodman's dog, who "Wide-scampering snatches up the drifted snow / With ivory teeth, or ploughs it will his snout; / Then shakes his powder'd coat and barks for joy"?
2. In which poem did which author write "But good dog Tray is happy now; / He has no time to say 'Bow Wow!'/ He seats himself in Frederick's chair / And laughs to see the nice things there; / The soup he swallows sup by sup – / And eats the pies and puddings up."?
3. Who wrote about which breed of dog, in which book,"Thin and tired, hopeful, happy – and hungry, his remarkable face alight with expectation – the old warrior was returning from the wilderness."?
Helen Dunmore
1. Who threw a string of pearls valued at $350,000 into her waste-paper basket?
2. Whose teeth are tolerable, but not out of the common way?
3. Who sat on her suitcase in the Gare du Nord and wept?
Geoff Dyer
1. Who said of whom: "Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known, and I know the rest."?
2. Who said of which book that it took "two subjects: the first is Talleyrand, and the second is everything else."?
3. Who described a companion as "a true poet" because "He knows all about things he knows nothing about."
Jennifer Egan
1. What was F Scott Fitzgerald's initial title for The Great Gatsby?
2. How long did William Faulkner claim that it took him to write Sanctuary?
3. Name the American who wrote crime novels in the 1940s and 50s in which the detective was a sexy lawyer named Scott Jordan?
Antonia Fraser
1. What do the following have in common: Percy Bysshe Shelley, Amina and Heidi?
2. Which is the odd one out?
a) Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
b) Tomorrow to fresh fields, and pastures new.
c) A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
d) To be, or not to be: that is the question.
3. Queens of England who might have been but weren't. How were they actually known to history?
a) Queen Mary II
b) Queen Elizabeth II
c) Queen Sophia
Neil Gaiman
1. Which profession did Lolly Willowes and Sylvia Daisy Pouncer share?
2. Chrestomanci and Tim shared this title, even if they were not in the same profession.
3. Mr Leakey was the creation of which scientist? And where did he suggest that mangoes were best eaten?
David Hare
1. David Kipen once said "The story of  modern American cultural criticism is the story of three California girls who went East." Name the three.
2. Which one of the three said "I have done my share of soul-wrestling and it's not too tough to do"?
3. And which one wrote "Once, in a dry season, I wrote in large letters across two pages of a notebook that innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself"?
PD James
1. Who brought news, and to whom, that a private had been flogged.
2. Which bird united a 1941 farce and a 19th-century poet?
3. Which amateur helped to ring in the New Year and why?
Hilary Mantel
1. What did Dr Johnson recommend as a tipple for aspiring heroes?
2. What drink did Housman recommend "for fellows whom it hurts to think"?
3. Whose tasting notes are these: "Tasting of Flora and the country green, Dance, and Provençal song, and sunburnt mirth!"
Lorrie Moore
1. Which great American novel is sometimes said to have the same plot as which Brontë novel?
2. Which Terrence Malick film has the same plot as which Henry James novel?
3. Which Jonathan Franzen character of last year is said to resemble someone who was just murdered this year?
David Nicholls
Who are they?
1. "It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced, or seemed to face, the whole external world for an instant and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your  favor."
2. " … a red-haired person whose hair was cropped as close as the closest stubble; who had hardly any eyebrows, and no eyelashes, and eyes of a red-brown, so unsheletered and unshaded that I remember wondering how he went to sleep. He was high-shouldered and bony … and had a long, lank, skeleton hand."
3. " … item, two lips, indifferent red; item, two grey eyes, with lids to them; item, one neck, one chin, and so forth."
Annie Proulx
1. What bird was honoured in a book by JA Baker?
2. Who was the notorious 18th-century English bookseller given a violent emetic by a vengeful Alexander Pope?
3. Who said: "A wall and a chair are a great deal"?
Ian Rankin
1. "In the first room there is a birth, in another a death, in a third a sordid drinking-bout, and the detective and the Bible-reader cross upon the stairs." A description of Edinburgh, but by whom?
2. Which Muriel Spark novel opens with a shopper in a boutique becoming furious when told the dress she is trying on is impossible to stain?
3. Ralph Waldo Emerson visited the village of Lasswade (south east of Edinburgh) in 1848 to pay his respects to which author?
Helen Simpson
1. Which playwright was known by his contemporaries as "gentle George"?
2. Which character in which play asks, "What's integrity to an opportunity?"
3. What was the day job of the author of The Provok'd Wife?
Ali Smith
1. Which single word, characterfully misspelt, links Katherine Mansfield's 1920 short story "Bank Holiday" and Angela Carter's 1984 novel Nights at the Circus?
2. What four-word title for a discarded autobiography unites a young Faustian witch and a silent movie star?
3. "A natural history museum, a hermit's cave or a magician's laboratory. Birds flew about freely. Fish and live grass snakes in glass cages ... not to mention his favourite, the old rabbit, which hopped about among moss, stones and fresh leafy branches." Which Scandinavian poet had a boyhood bedroom described by his literary sister like this?
Colm Tóibín
1. Thomas and Heinrich Mann, who came from a family of five, wrote many books, but their brother Viktor wrote only one book. What was it called?
2. Seepersad Naipaul, the father of VS Naipaul and Shiva Naipaul, published, with a private press, one volume of fiction. What was it called?
3. Jorge Guillermo Borges, father of Jorge Luis Borges, also published one volume of fiction with a private press. What was it called?
Rose Tremain
1. In which 2010 memoir does the humorously mystifying word "hotchamachacha" frequently appear?
2. In which classic German novel does the hero meet his death for writing postcards?
3. Who said that a good mode for writing was to stay "in your mental pyjamas"?
Sarah Waters
1. In which novels do the following fictional ships or boats appear? The Clorinda, the Pequod, the Demeter, the Pipistrello, and the Goblin.
2. Of which author did a woman once cry: "He'll have his hair cut regular now!" – and to what was she referring?
3. What connects Jackie Kay, Anthony Burgess, Aldous Huxley, LM Montgomery, Tom Sharpe, Ntozake Shange and Vernon Lee with DH Lawrence?
Have you been paying attention in 2011?
1. In which unnamed former country is Tea Obreht's The Tiger's Wife, winner of the 2011 Orange prize, generally assumed to be set?
a) Czechoslovakia.
b) Ceylon.
c) Zaire.
d) Yugoslavia.
2. Who wrote a book that controversially suggested that smart girls should trade on their "erotic capital" to get ahead?
a) Caitlin Moran.
b) Daisy Goodwin.
c) Jeanette Winterson.
d) Elizabeth Hakim.
3. Who dismissed whose writing as "the Emperor's new clothes" in disagreeing with fellow prize judges?
a) Stella Rimington criticising Alan Hollinghurst.
b) Carmen Callil criticising Philip Roth.
c) Andrew Neil criticising Edmund de Waal.
d) Susan Hill criticising Edward St Aubyn.
4. Which Pulitzer prizewinning novelist this year brought out a book about keeping chickens?
a) Alice Walker.
b) Annie Proulx.
c) Barbara Kingsolver.
d) Jane Smiley.
5. Who said reading any female writer confirmed his view they were "unequal to me", and which novelist did he cite in particular?
a) Stephen King, JK Rowling.
b) George RR Martin, JK Rowling.
c) Martin Amis, Toni Morrison.
d) VS Naipaul, Jane Austen.
6. Whose Twitter bio says, with Popeye: "I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam"?
a) Salman Rushdie.
b) Neil Gaiman.
c) Jeanette Winterson.
d) Ian Rankin.
7. Who was revealed as having a literary tattoo, and who is quoted?
a) David Beckham and Nietzsche.
b) Brad Pitt and Alain-Fournier.
c) Anne Hathaway and Jane Austen.
d) Lady Gaga and Rilke.
8. Which of the authors in Forbes's list of publishing's top 10 earners in 2010/11 said "Actually, I don't read books"?
a) Jeff "Wimpy Kid" Kinney.
b) Suzanne "Hunger Games" Collins.
c) Stephenie Meyer.
d) James Patterson.
9. Which Booker-winning or shortlisted novelist suffered political catastrophe this year, and where?
a) Thomas Keneally in Australia.
b) Indra Sinha in India.
c) Chinua Achebe in Nigeria.
d) Michael Ignatieff in Canada.
10. Whose posthumous novel featured an American road trip?
a) Beryl Bainbridge.
b) Roberto Bolaño.
c) JG Ballard.
d) JD Salinger.
11. Who introduced us to the Ariekei?
a) Margaret Atwood.
b) AS Byatt.
c) George RR Martin.
d) China Miéville.
12. The narrator of Alice LaPlante's prizewinning murder mystery Turn of Mind suffers from … ?
a) Amnesia.
b) Epilepsy.
c) Alzheimer's.
d) Synesthesia.
13. What links Jeffery Deaver and Anthony Horowitz?
a) They wrote new books for famous series.
b) They killed off their long-running heroes.
c) They were surprise longlistees for the Booker prize.
d) They both collaborated with James Patterson.
14. Who branched out into writing Smut?
a) Iain Banks.
b) Nicholson Baker.
c) Anita Brookner.
d) Alan Bennett.
15. Who set a novel in hell?
a) Scarlett Thomas.
b) Chuck Palahniuk.
c) Stephen King.
d) Terry Pratchett.
16. Whose long-awaited new novel was so big it had to be published in two volumes?
a) Umberto Eco.
b) Michel Houellebecq.
c) Haruki Murakami.
d) Peter Nadas.
17. Who fictionalised Princess Diana?
a) Monica Ali.
b) Linda Grant.
c) Martin Amis.
d) Alan Hollinghurst.
18. The Emperor of All Maladies: a Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukerherjee won which award this year?
a) The Samuel Johnson prize for non-fiction.
b) The Wellcome Trust book prize, celebrating medicine in literature.
c) The Guardian First Book award.
b) The Costa biography award.
19. The denouement of David Nicholls's bestselling novel, One Day, made into a film this year, takes its inspiration from lines from which Victorian novel?
a) The Mill on the Floss.
b) Tess of the D'Urbervilles.
c) Wuthering Heights.
d) Great Expectations.
20. Which British historian's response to this summer's riots was to say "the whites have become black"?
a) Niall Ferguson.
b) David Starkey.
c) Antonia Fraser.
d) Simon Sebag Montefiore.
21. Waterstone's was sold by HMV for £53m in May to which wealthy buyer?
a) Russian millionaire Alexander Mamut.
b) Independent bookseller James Daunt.
c) Virgin entrepreneur Richard Branson.
d) Harry Potter author JK Rowling.
22. Whose political diaries made it on to the stage this year?
a) Alan Clark.
b) Edwina Currie.
c) Tony Benn.
d) Chris Mullin.
23. Costa, Forward and TS Eliot shortlisted poet David Harsent also wrote an episode for which television show this year?
a) The Bill.
b) Inspector Morse.
c) A Touch of Frost.
d) Midsomer Murders.
24. What's the prize for the Omnivore's "Hatchet Job of the Year" book review award?
a) A prize pig.
b) A case of champagne.
c) A hatchet.
d) A year's supply of potted shrimp.
Who said … ?
1. "My main compulsion is secrecy."
2. "The doorbell rings and I nip to the loo. I count no fewer than nine canisters of hairspray on 'his' side of the sink."
3. "Brian Cox may have the wonders of the universe to play with, but I had the contents of my bra and pants and, ultimately, obviously they were the more mysterious and awesome."
4. "This book … is really the sheerest twaddle ... Writing this bad cannot earn the kind of attention [Geoffrey] Hill demands; he is wasting his time and trying to waste ours."
5. "The [Somerset House] ice rink truly sparkles. Children under the age of eight can join the Penguin Club which successfully guides children through their first tentative steps on the ice. Renowned authors will hold storytelling sessions under the tree."
6. "He complained that he'd really hurt his foot. When I asked how he'd done it – had he fallen off a stage? – he said: 'No, I've got a facsimile copy of Leonardo's Milan Codex in my library and I dropped it on my foot'."
7. "Adam Levin's book is the real thing, I think ..."
8. "That flaccid fuckhead. He was detestable."
9. "I wonder whether to bother too much with the strictures of [Colin] Imber, whose latest book stands at 1,258,969th place on the Amazon list."
10. "Pankaj Mishra embarrassingly flaunts his Oriental roots to please the ex-empire's champagne socialists. Presumably it was to win their applause that this Buddha of Grub Street launched his ad hominem attack."
11. "Meat Market is a thin, bloody sliver of feminist dialectic, dissecting women's bodies as the fleshy fulcrum of capitalist cannibalism."
12. "Wikileaks cook books ... I would love to get these going Julian but we need to reassure the publishers we are on track with the other book first."
13. "His fame, then and now, had a [Being There character] Chauncey Gardiner quality, seemingly called into being by a novelist-shaped vacancy on the cover of Time."
14. "Like me, [Christopher Hitchens] is Jewish on his mother's side. Like me, he's busy and productive. Unlike me, he is not a cheap whore. Well, I'm quite an expensive whore. But I'm quite a good whore. Because I kiss."
15. "She never stops, does she? Penis this, penis that. Rachel cannot speak about any subjects, whether it is somebody on the Moon or Trident, without bringing the conversation back to penises."