Readers reply: why are Parisians nice now?
I returned to Paris recently – where I have previously had countless encounters with Gallic rudeness – to find that everyone was very friendly. Why are Parisians nice now? Darwin Clay, Mansfield
Send new questions to nq@theguardian.com.
Readers reply
A French friend of mine is just back in Paris after 20 years in Asia and says the biggest change he has seen is exactly this – people are much friendlier. He puts it down to the younger generation being more open, exploring the world and coming back. boromonkey
Yes, we thought this on a visit just over a year ago. We reckon that it reflects a new younger generation working in hospitality, most of whom speak excellent English and are keen to show this off. Maybe there is some generational change, too, in a willingness to be nice to visitors. It was quite disconcerting, to be honest, quite unlike the Paris of old … pdejersey
As a Paris resident for 35 years, I have witnessed this evolution. I see at least two factors. First, the French in general are no longer scared to be confronted by people speaking foreign languages. They used to panic and be very rude for this reason alone. Now, rather than feeling shame, many take pleasure in speaking English, for example.
Second, client relationship strategies, completely unknown to much of France 25 years ago, have gradually filtered into business and public services. The old bureaucrats had only one mission – to make it impossible for you to achieve your purpose. Today, it’s practically a pleasure to go to the post office, for example, or to a state administration, where staff are tripping over themselves to be useful and even kind. Of course, there are still miserable bastards everywhere, but the average Parisian has become an eager and pleasant person at your service. ObjectiveManCom
I’m British-French and have lived in France for a long time. I have never found a problem with Parisians, but they are detested by other French people in exactly the same way Londoners are disliked by non-Londoners. I think it’s more to do with stereotypes than reality. kalypso
Maybe because the old stereotype of rude Parisians was greatly exaggerated in the first place. BlueSkyThinking101
I have visited Paris frequently for more than 50 years and always found Parisians to be friendly. (I do speak French with them.) I also lived in New York City for nine years and found the people there to be welcoming and friendly. PatLux
Simply saying “Bonjour” instead of “Hello” can make a difference. I know a few phrases of guidebook French and seeing me make the effort seems to soften people’s attitudes. TXsubscriber
Twelve years ago, three of us took S, a friend who had early-onset dementia, to Paris. My other half was doing the London-Paris bike ride in aid of Alzheimer’s Research UK and we’d decided to get S there, as a final trip abroad, to meet my other half at the Eiffel Tower at the end of the ride.
We anticipated difficulties with the inevitable crowded RER and Metro. However, as soon as the doors opened and people could see us manoeuvring S into position so we could help him on to the train, they stepped off, made space for S and ensured we had seats before getting back on board. This happened more than once. I could have cried with gratitude. It was genuinely a surprise that people were so immediately aware and helpful. We were all overwhelmed at the kindness of strangers. random1987
Debunking stereotypes: the French are impossibly rude
Read more
Parisians have always been nice. The French generally have more rules about politeness than other countries. This includes saying “bonjour” when you enter a shop and adding a “bonne journée” and “au revoir” when you leave. They could come across as impolite when you haven’t acknowledged them or moved out of their way when they are trying to go about their day.
Although the transport system is quick, many Franciliens (people from the Paris region) commute in from quite far away, which can be stressful and tiring; this may make them snappy when you are dawdling and yapping in a foreign language. Parisians generally speak good English – much better than before. In fact, they are proud of it and should be.
It must be noted, though, that some people feel embarrassed to speak it and may avoid speaking to you, particularly if you don’t speak French or come from a culture that doesn’t learn other languages. They could come off as cold or even frosty, but this is nothing a couple of words in French couldn’t fix. Laura Climmer
I have been going to Paris since 1995, which is not all that long. Parisians are, in my experience, always nice. Always. I enter the business or restaurant, say “bonjour” and use some French phrases to be polite. Almost always, they will reply in English and be totally gracious. If they speak no English, they are polite. Now that I speak French pretty well, I counter their English replies with French. They appear relieved and we go on happily in French. They are truly friendly and warm.
As an American, I watch Americans enter French businesses like a herd of cattle. They are rude. They expect to be addressed in English. No wonder the Parisians behave in an unfriendly fashion. Their culture places a premium on politeness; it is the responsibility of the guest to act that way. Get with the programme, folks! EricJ
As a Parisian, I must say I’m always happy to help tourists with any information they may need. One thing, though, annoys me: when they ask directly and confidently in English, as if everyone is supposed to speak it.
However, I should add that, in decades of encounters, this never occurred to me except with Americans. I don’t remember any British or Canadian or Australian speaking to me without at least some hesitation regarding my understanding of the language. Most American visitors, on the contrary, quite often just go ahead as if knowledge of English were mandatory and obvious. And that – that I do find rude. marghe
I’ve never found Parisians to be rude. The waiters are brusque, maybe, but efficient. The only rude people I’ve encountered in the City of Light are British tourists. CharlesJ
Perhaps the Parisians are nice now because you are nice. sazzzy
Are you sure that it’s Parisians becoming nicer and not the English becoming nastier? asparagusnextleft
Because they’ve felt sorry for us since 2016. PeterD