A lonely heart opens up
Name: Steven Whiting
Age: 25
Occupation: Planning executive, digital marketing
Area: London
Looking for: "A hairy chest and a cheeky smile"
In his own words: "Looking for the hidden delights London has to offer...and love."
I only came out two and a half years ago. I grew up in Kent and went to university in Cornwall. The night I realised I was gay, a group of lesbian friends had invited me to the closing-down party of the only gay club in Truro. I ended up having my first kiss there. I knew I was ready to come out after that.
My family was absolutely fine with it and my friends all said they already knew, but it had taken me a while to feel ready. I've been in London for nearly a year now, and since I've come to terms with my sexuality, everything seems different – life is in Technicolor.
I had met someone online towards the end of my university course. He was six years older than me and doing his teacher-training course. I fell completely and madly in love. We were only together for four months – that's the longest relationship I've had so far. We were making plans – moving in together, travelling, the works – and then it all fell apart. We had both started new jobs and were taking our stresses out on each other.
I've met some really lovely people online. I dated a South African guy last year: we had a brilliant time and then over the course of a month it just fizzled out. There was another guy who I sent long emails back and forth with for five weeks, then the first date went really well. I thought we had clicked. On our third date, he told me that he wasn't sure whether there was enough chemistry between us and apologised for wasting my time. It's just weird that you could spend all that time getting to know someone, both online and in person, and then… nothing.
In September last year, someone got in touch with me and we met for drinks at a pub. As soon as I saw him I knew it wasn't going to work. He was camper than I was expecting and we had very different lifestyles. Then I met a gorgeous doctor who seemed perfect. And then we kissed and it was grim.
You can always tell, pretty much straightaway, whether someone is going to be a friend or more, or indeed nothing. I try not to build things up too much, I try to be casual, otherwise I'm just setting myself up for heartbreak.
I'm really thankful that my first relationship ended, because it would have stopped me from meeting all the wonderful people I have met, and all the wonderful people I've yet to meet.