How Trump created a new American flag – with an added Russian twist
Name: The Trump flag.
Age: Three days old.
Appearance: Blue canton, white stars, 13 alternating red, white and blue stripes.
Red, white and blue stripes? Yes sir. These are the colours of my flag and I’ll thank you for not disrespecting them.
But surely the stripes are only red and white. Perhaps you’re confusing the Trump flag with the flag of the United States of America.
What’s the difference? Well, the flag of the United States of America was reportedly designed by Francis Hopkinson and is thought to have been first hoisted by the Continental Army at Middlebrook encampment in New Jersey in June 1777. It contains 13 alternating stripes of red and white.
And? The Trump flag was designed by Donald Trump, sitting next to a bunch of kids during a visit to an Ohio children’s hospital. It’s like the American flag, but for some reason, it’s got a blue stripe on it.
Oh, so what you’re saying is that the American president was photographed colouring in a drawing of the US flag but that he got it wrong? I am saying that, yes.
And, out of interest, how has this gone down? That depends if you’re a Trump supporter or not.
Let’s say I’m not. At time of writing, the initial tweet pointing out Trump’s error has been retweeted 124,000 times.
And if I am? One supporter’s tweet reads: “You’re hilarious if you don’t think the president knows what a flag looks like. HES COLORING!!!!!! with children. If it was a horse and he colored it pink would people be upset he colored a horse not a REAL horse color???”
What happens now? If Trump says the American flag contains blue stripes, do they all have to change? Well, the beauty of the American flag is that it’s an ever-evolving statement of nationhood. The current incarnation has only been around since 1960, after Hawaii was accepted in as a state. It changed before and, if Puerto Rico is admitted as a US state, it will inevitably change again.
So it’s possible? No, of course it’s not possible. We didn’t start spelling “potatoe” with an E after Dan Quayle mucked up at a spelling bee in 1992, so we probably won’t start adding errant stripes to the American flag just because some lumbering dimbo mucked it up.
Why does a red, white and blue-striped flag sound so familiar? Oh, Russia. It’s the Russian flag. Donald Trump was colouring the Russian flag. Nothing to worry about here. Everyone move on.
Do say: “Thy banners make tyranny tremble, when borne by the red, white and blue.”
Don’t say: “And blue.”