(CNN) -- He is accused of killing innocent civilians, including women and children, in their homes in two Afghan villages. The accusations are met with bewilderment from a number of those who know U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Robert Bales, who bears the scars from wounds he received in three previous tours in Iraq. His friends and family say he remained passionately committed to serving his country and cared deeply for others. "Regardless of what happened, Bobby has been changed forever," said Bob Durham, who knew Bales when he was growing up in Ohio. "If the Bobby that I knew ever gets well, comes back to it, and realizes what has happened, and realizes that children and women were killed, I don't think he can live with it. He'll never be the same. He's such a great person ... that crushes me."
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NEW: Suspect's wife calls the massacre allegation "completely out of character"
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Friends described Robert Bales as fun-loving, devoted, good-hearted and patriotic
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In previous tours in Iraq, he suffered a foot injury and a head injury
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He had been passed over for promotion; family has been under financial stress
As a teenager, Durham recalled, Bales helped care for @placeholder's severely disabled son.