LONDON, England (CNN) -- I have a confession. As a music style, heavy metal has completely passed me by. I don't understand it. I'm not even sure I want to. "Bring your daughter to the slaughter," bellows Iron Maiden's Bruce Dickinson. Why would I want to do that? Why would I want to listen to anyone even suggesting I do that? Outside The Crobar in London's Soho our intrepid reporter tries out her rock moves. While the thought of spending the evening head banging leaves me longing for an expensive glass of merlot, slightly fruity, and perhaps a long sit down, I can't escape the feeling that I'm somehow missing out.
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Malcolm Dome of TotalRock conveys the joys of metal to the unconverted
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Heavy metal concerts likened to panto, "it's circus, it's frivolity," Dome says
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Metal 'uniform' of black t-shirt, jeans and leather apparently unnecessary
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Metalheads display fierce loyalty to their bands, unlike fickle world of pop
I'm pleased to see @placeholder is wearing the traditional heavy metal attire of black T-shirt and black jeans.