(CNN) -- I go to the gym. It's an excellent place to watch SportsCenter while occupying a bench press that somebody else might otherwise use for actual exercise. "You done with this?" "Define done." My other favorite part of an early workout is when the gym staff finally plops the morning newspapers on the media table, where thumbing through USA Today for 20 minutes seems to be another great way to not improve my personal well being. Then I hit the sauna. Because, clearly, I've earned it. So, my daily routine isn't exactly CrossFit. In fact, it just barely even qualifies as being awake.
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A gym in Long Island City is now offering CrossFit for toddlers
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Some people think it's too expensive and snobbish
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Two classes a week for a month costs $280
Participants work out in groups and meet not in a gym, but an industrial-looking "box" that is void of all the things I love most -- you know, SportsCenter and @placeholder.