(CNN) -- "Balls. That's how a family shows its power," declares Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins in "Dark Shadows" to the bemused descendants gathered around the dinner table. In his day -- the 1700s -- throwing a party was a political act. But 200 years later -- in 1972, to be exact -- balls are out of style. Women's lib is in the air, and his movie is loaded with powerful, independent women. The hippies are dropping out. And vampires are an anachronism. I better admit from the start I never saw Dan Curtis' spooky "Dark Shadows" soap opera, a curio that ran from 1966 to 1971. The belated blockbuster edition arrives courtesy of director Tim Burton, star Depp and "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" scribe Seth Grahame-Smith, a mash-up monster squad possibly more inclined to camp than Curtis was, and certainly more tickled by the nostalgic "modernity" of the Nixon era.
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"Dark Shadows" is based on Dan Curtis' spooky soap opera of the same name
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Depp is a vision in monochrome with his pasty complexion, black hair and cape
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Burton dedicates unwarranted time to the Collins' dull fortunes in the fish canning business
As we know by now, in @placeholder's films being a misfit is a mark of distinction.