By Nick Harding PUBLISHED: 17:52 EST, 6 November 2013 | UPDATED: 11:51 EST, 7 November 2013 Alvin the cat: The four-month old Bengal kitten is coming between Nick and his girlfriend Stephanie There was no room for negotiation. 'I'm getting  a cat,' my girlfriend Stephanie announced one evening in August. 'But I'm allergic to them,' I replied, incredulous. 'They give me asthma, they bring me out in hives , they make my eyes blister.' 'I'm getting a cat,' she repeated. 'Cat owners smell, and women who own them end up sad and lonely,' I argued. 'Besides, we live on a main road. It won't last a month.'
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Alvin is a fourth-month old kitten besotted with Nick's girlfriend Stephanie
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He wants all of Stephanie's love - and Nick is standing in his way
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Skirmishes ensue... Who will prevail?
@placeholder sees me as a human scratching post and, on many occasions, has clambered up my legs and back when I've been on the phone, digging his talons in along the way and forcing me to apologise to the person on the other end of the line for my subsequent expletive-peppered tirade.