(EW.com) -- Last night's results show spanned an exhausting two hours, but luckily Ryan Seacrest was able to keep the telecast as fresh as the yellow rose on Randy Jackson's sweater by trying out various intonations of his favorite term ("the nationwide vote") and one of life's eternal questions, "WHO WILL FILL THESE STOOLS?" It's Ryan's time to shine, so don't even think about trying to plow him over, Brielldozer Von Huge Mistake! Speaking of freshness, Jimmy Iovine showed up. They'd found him living in the boiler room under Joe Pesci's School of Speech (the Harvard of the West; sorry, Stansbury) and he was more than happy to come sit in a little room off to the side and drop little truth pellets all over the Top 24. I've missed him and the way my stupid Text Edit program auto-corrects his name to "iodine."
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Jimmy Iovine gave more frank and succinct criticism of the kiddies
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The six wild card contestants had to "sing for their lives"
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Against all odds, the blessed Steven Tyler was honest with Brielle Von Hugel
And my favorite, Jimmy on @placeholder: "Supposedly he has a large black woman trapped in his body.