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Ct "^VOLUME 2. « DES ARC, ARKANSAS, APRIL 20, 1867. NUMBER 7. iMLgJSJ." forbidden'and
Peace. Constables, fkc. V ___■ - ■ - *_!_ - All advert,,,., due after sorowd insertion
WELCOME TO SPRING.
Welcome to spring, with her Up full of flower. .
Heaven has sent her to gladden the earth;
Beautiful sunshine and soft genial showers,
lllcss the sweet life that eho brings Into
birth.
Welcome to spring! Farewell to old winter!
Let him go back to his northern home ;
Thanks for the health and vigor he brought
US,
But brief be ottf parting, for spring has
come!
Welcome to spring! sing the birds in the
greenwood.
Welcome! oh, welcome, the bees in the
flowers ;
Welcome! the lambkins that sport on the hill
side ;
Welcome! the children, that dance in the
bowers.
Welcome! are shouting the lads in the corn
fields,
Happy in guiding the furrowing plow ;
Welcome! comes up from the hearts of the
lasses.
Whose checks with the kisses of spring are
aglow.
Welcome! speak softly the sick and the aged,
Who drink the sweet breath of the spring
floating in ;
Bring flowers and give them, mayhap they'll
not tarry,
To welcome the coining of Spring-time
• again!
GREAT EXHIBITION.
Elevens, Sumner & Co.’s Mammoth
Circus and Menagerie! I
Will llE-orES in tiie Capitol Build
ing. at Washington, D. C., on Tubs
... wt . r.*ii KKT lfivn.M i a.
TKit—Tiiah. Stevens. Clown—
Charley Sumner.
The circus troupe comprises many
first-class acrobatic performers, vanlt
ers, tight-ropo dancers, and professors
of ground and lofty tumbling. The
menagerie contains a number of wild
beasts and .trained monkeys, besides
the (ireat llenst, and some of the
fiercest blood-hounds in the world.—
There are also many mineral and other
curiosities.
The performance will commence, ns
usual, at the crack of the whip of the
great Ring-Master, Thad. Stevens.— '
This famous individual was imported
into Pennsylvania from Vermont, and
was procured for this Cijcus at great
expense to Uncle Sam, (who is tiie real
owner of the establishment, though on
ly a silent partner in tlie concern.—)
The liiug-Master will perform on tne
tight-ropo, a part for which lie is so
eminently fitted that all who appreciate
him as lie deserves hope lie may end his
days on it. lie is considered a shifting
light in “the ring.”
The famous down, Charley Sum
ner. will represent “The Colored Man,” |
and will sing his original comic song— '
“1 wish I was in Andy’s place!”
The Two-faced Monkey, Henri jar A
muxd, will show lii? astonishing agility
by leaping from one side of the fence
to the other so rapidly that very few
persons can tell on which side lie real
ly is. This wonderful animal was cap
l tired in one of the “elbows of the Min
cio,” in Italy. lie has but one body
and head, and apparently hut little
brain, but be lias two distinct fuces,
one black and tbc other white, looking
in opposition.
The other trained Monkeys, sonic of
which have been taught to pronounce
the words, “Mr. Speaker,” and “1111-1
peachment,” quite distinctly, will per
form many wonderful and laughable
antics.
Some of the animals arc very disor
derly, but the audience need feel no
alarm as they arc all very cowardly es
pecially the blood-hounds. All of the j
beasts arc designated hv fanciful aud
appropriate names.
The following named curiosities will
he exhibited:
The (ircat Beast, Biohkthelfort
fi-siieudoctokhutleu. This immense
brute, alter being several times unsuc
cessfully pursued iu the Southern
ft tales, was Anally captured iu Massa
chusetts, and sent to the Menagerie.—
Jie feeds on gold plate, silver spoons
and New Orleans coin, and while in
Norfolk, Va., he flourished upon a diet
■of dog-tails. His favorite drink is wo
man's tears. JIc has a horror of blood
•except at a safe distance, lie was once
nearly choked iu trying to swallow a
Wisconsin Brick. Having been horn
in the middle of the weyk he has looked
both ways for Sunday so long that he
has acquired the singular faculty of
looking iu several directions at the
same time, lie was onec so small as to
he put lu a bottle, but is now swelling
to an enormous size.
The (ii^iat Cake, from Schuylkill
county, i’a. Though very soft and
flat, this Cake is in a good state of
preservation, it was so large uud heavy
that it was only raised to its present
elevated position by means of Guys.—
The Guys were broken iu the opera
tion.
A small kettle of Ash Lev, from
Ohio. This I.cy, though very weak,
and utterly unlit for any good or use
ful purpose, is remarkable for Its ex
treme bitterness. Small doses of it
are sometimes administered to the ani
mals to make them jump around and
roar.
The White-Wash Brush used for
many years in Congress. It is almost
worn out, and looks black and smells
badly.
'ljie Great Winnebago Chief, Cvmkx
ji.un;i:os. This mighty warrior wu
| cap lured in Pennsylvania. Ills name
translated, signifies “The Gobler o
Greenbacks,” his favorite diet consist
ing of bank notes belonging to othei
people. An old Curtin, from the Ex
ecutive Mansion at Harrisburg, whici
was intended for exhibition in this col
lection, was demolMhed by this graal
warrior before he started oft the War
path against the white man, with whom
lie lias eternal enmity. He ia supposed
to have swallowed this old Curtin, or
account of its having been soaked in
very mean whisky for preservation.—
He also tore up “two newspapers, both
dally.”
The Mammoth Swluo, Jameszarlak,
of Iowa. A fine specimen of a regular
gruuter. Ho grunts constantly—in
church, in the menagerie, in political
meetings, and elsewhere, and his grunt
is echoed by all the swine of the same
species in the country.
The King-tailed Monkey, Rosno
konkliho, from New York. This ani
mal is very playful, and is a great fa
vorite with the children in his native
place, many of whom look (tp to him
as a father!
The Black Twins, Bill Kelly and
Negro Suffrage Bill. These insep
arable companions arc ns great a curi
osity as the Siamese Twins. Bill Kel
ly and bis friends have worked for
years to bring His brother into the me
nagerie with him- '
Some poisonous Froth, from the
Bout Well, of Massachusetts. Tills
singular “well” is supposed to be vol
canic. It is constantly emitting deep
muttcriiigs, froth and poisonous efflu
via. The latter is supposed to have
taken effect upon the blood-hounds in
the menagerie, several of them having
shown marked symptoms of hydropho
bia (or dread of water) since inhaling
the gas from the Bout Well.
a n_a_a _ ^v_a_ aI. « »..„a — r
AS A I Ulirivu wv MIOt VI
the Missouri Loan, which was used up
in the effort to impeach one Andrew
Johnson.
Oars and Sculls, belonging to the
Ship of State. One of the sculls was
broken some years ago in rowing up
South Carolina Brooks, (since dried
up.) The scull was being used by Char
ley Sumner at the time. It was sent
over to Europe for repairs, but it is
still so badly erucked as to he unfit for
use, and is only preserved as a curios
ity. [
The Great Black Idol, Sahro—the
Juggernaut of the North. This Idol is
worshipped by the sect called Itadikal
punce, wno nave sacrtn»oA i.untiit-a*
of thousands of men in his worship,
and crushed the hearts of millions of
widows and orphans under the wheels
of his car. lie is not remarkable for
beauty or utility, but only for his cost,
which has been enormous.
A Mosquito's Bladder, containing
the effect of Benny Ihmnau's petition
to Congress and the editorial entitled
"Let Congress Listen.” The Bladder
is not quite one-third full.
Tickets to this Great Exhibition may
bc obtained at any office of the Freed
man’s Bureau. Doors open two or
three times duriug the week. Front
seats reserved for American citizens of
African scent.
An extra price must be paid by all
who wish to see the Elephant, lie is
not kept in the building, but at a pri
vate place in the city.
N. B.—Tlie managers hereby give
notice that they will pay an enormous
price for the greatest curiosity in the
world, to-wit: A Itadicnl Newspaper
Editor, who has served four years as a
private in (ho Federal Army, without
bounty. It is fesred, however, that no
such animal can be found on this con
tiuent.
Preparation or Whitewash.—
Whitewash is one of the most valuable
articles iu the world when properly
•iimliail T# nrArnnii nnt nulv thn tin.
cay of wood, but conduces greatly to
the healthiness of all bulldihgs, wlieth
of wood or stone. Outbuildings and
fences, when not painted, should be
supplied once or twice every year with
a good coat of whitewash, which should
he prepared iu the following way:
Take a clean, water tight barrel, or
other suitable cask, and put into it a
lmlf bushel of liuie. Slack It by pour
ing water over it, boiling hot, and in
•sufficient quantity to cover it five inch
es deep, and stir It briskly until thor
oughly slacked. When the slacking
has been effected, dissolve it in water,
and add two pounds of sulphate ol
zinc, and one of common salt. These
will cause the wash to harden, aud pre
vent it cracking, which gives an un
seemly appearance to the work. II
desirable, a bcautiful-crcam color may
be communicated to the above wash,
by adding three pouuds of yellow
oere; or a good pearl or lead color, by
the additiou of a lamp, vino or ivory
black. For fawn color, add foui
pouuds of umber, Turkish or Ameri
can, the latter is the cheapest, out
pouml Iiujia rod, and ono pound com
mon lamp-black. For common stoin
color, add four pounds raw umber anti
.two pounds lamp-black. This wasli
may he applied witli a common white
wash brush, and will be found mucli
superior, both in appearance and dura
bility, to common whitewash.
HSFHlo away,"-aid Muggins, “yet
can't siutr such nonsense in me—sis
feet iu his hoofs! X"o mail ns livci
stands more nor two feet iu his boots
and no use talking bout it. Might a
well (ell the that flic man had si* head
iu hit hat!"
The Printer’s Art
' In the “Art pissw vatlvc of all arts
' there la aomething ao ennobling am
mysterious that ire Can never thhik o
it wit boat association lb oer iflih
with massive cathedrals, whose arche<
aisles echo to the foototep, and whpsi
stained windows, In the setting sun
reflect in a thousand ecoedflrfo lines tin
colors of the rainbow. We knew no
the why of our thus associating tin
printer’s art with the most promi
nent architectural objects of the middle
ages, unless it Is that the dignity 01
Genius Is seen—perhaps it wonld b<
more correct te say. silt—i« both
The printer is the most Ifbenl-mtadeil
and charitable of beings. A breadth
is given to his thoughts which, perhaps
no other profession imparts. School
ed to no theory, but observant of all,
1 he gradually in the college in which
| lie daily and silently studies the
I thoughts of others, dissolves the crust
of prejudice which forms over and cir
cumscribes the mental action of per
sons less fortunately situated. Toler
ant to the last degree, he listens to the
arguments of all, and then, like a monk,
retires to select that which lie esteems
| of the most nse to himself and others.
' It la a rare thing to find a printer who
I is bigoted in religion or politics. lie
may be religious or political, but his is
the religion of “good wilt to alland
his politics consist less of the success
; of party than of the up-bulldlng ot
, equality, lie would make the world
a paradise could he pnrsuadc others to
think as he does ; but as he cannot—as
lie finds tlmt men are wedded to their
ways—he good-naturedly labors to
tcacli tlic world; as it never was taught
before the days of Faust, that when
human thought Is sufficient;- develop
ed, ‘tlic good time' so long prophesied
will surely come. Bayard Taylor, a
printer himself, and who graduated at
the “case,” pays a noble tribute to the
“Printer's Art.” Hear him :
"The printer is the Adjutant of
Thought, and this explains the myste
ry of the wonderful word that can kin
dle a hope as no song can—thnt can
warm a heart as no hope can—that
word ‘we,’ with a hand-in-hand
warmth iu it, for tho author and the
printer are engineers together. JC11
giucers indeed? When the little Cor
j siean bombarded Cadiz at the distance
of five miles, it was deemed the very
triumph of engineering. But what is
that paltry range to this, whereby they
bombard the ages yet to be f There at
j die 'case' lie stands and maislials lulu
Hue tiie forces armed for truth, clothed
in immortality and English. And
j wliat can be nobler than the equipment
| of a thought in sterling Saxon—Saxon,
with the ring of spear and shield there
j in, and commissioning it when we arc
; dead to move gradually ou to ‘the
lutest syllable Of recorded time f This
is to win a victory from death, for this
hath no dying iu it. The priuter is
called a laborer, and the office he per
forms Is toil. Oh, It is hot work, but
a sublime rite he Is performing ; when
he thus sights the engine that Is to fling
a worded truth in grander curve than
missiles ere before described—fling it
into the bosom of an age unborn. He
throws off his coat indeed; we but
wonder, the rather, (hat he does not
put his shoes frem off his feet, for the
place whereon he stands is holy
ground. A little song was uttered
somewhere long ago; it wandered
through the twilight feebler than a
star; it died upon the ear. Bat the
printer takes It up where it was lying
there iu the silence, like a wounded
bird, and be equips it anew with wings
and sends it forth from the Ark that
had preserved it, and it flies out into
the future with the olive brauch ot
peace, and around the world with iuel
uur, uac iiiv (mnuiiig ui n
uioruiug.”
bright" Joke.
A good joke was lately gotten off at
a hotel in Wales where a number ot
gentlemen were. The conversation,
j which was political and geuerni, turn
ed on John Bright, and all but one
■ person (and he a stranger) engaged In
j it, berating the Reformer in the most
j unsparing terms. The stranger rose
! and left the room. Calling the ser
i vaut to him, he said, “If any of the
| gentlemen in the room ask who I am,
tell them I am John Bright.” As soon
jus the waiter went back iuto the room,
i he was asked who that geutlemau was.
! "That short gentleman that just went
out?” “Yes.” “Why, that's Mr. John
Bright, M. P.” It is easy to Imagine
the consternation of the party. In n
little while the short gentleman re
turned. Kvery Mother's son of them
were prompt in making the most ‘uin
blc’ apology for their remarks. Tin
honorable gentleman graeiuusly for
gave them. At the same time he said
I that he was so often abused tlmt he wa>
j used to It! Now the best of the jok.
I is that the short gentleman, bright a.
lie was, was not John Bright, unil II
[ was the gentry who ate ‘uinlile’ pit
! who were not bright enough to keej
from being sold.
—.-1 m i— -
(ejf An exrhange snys: We feel
i-onlident that the steam steed will
wend its way through our emerald
vales ere the leafy livery of natiiri
doits the sober liues of autumn.
This means that the ears will lie run
ning next summer.
1 tx£- If you rourt a young woman
land you are won. and she is won, yol
wilt both be one.
An Incident of Married Life.
’ A wild young fellow married a love
1 ly girl, and having long been addicted
r to habits of dissipation, even the sin
I cere attachment which he entertained
1 towards his wife, could not disentangle
! him from his snares.
lii* occasional irregular hours would
have given any but one of so pure and
sweet a disposition, every reason to ex
pect she did not hold that place in bis
affections which was her right; but
' this reflection scarcely ever intruded
• her spirits.*
It happened once that he was called
out of town and in his haste left behind
a letter, in which, to please an unprin
cipled friend, he had spoken of his wife
in term* of carelessness, if not derision,
and diluted freely upon his general
course of iffe.
Imagine the anxiety and suspense of
the sturtlcd profligate, when lie found
himself borne by a rapid steamboat up
on a journey which must of. necessity
life of several days’ duration, yet recol
lected that the fatal letter was exposed
unsealed upon his wife's table. He re
membered too, with a pang, thnt in an
swer to her inquiry, he hud wantonly
boosted that it contained n profound
secret which lie wouldn’t have revealed
for the world.
He paced Ilia deck in agony of grief
and shame. He pictured her opening
the letter, turning pate with indigna
tion, perhaps fainting with anguish,
flying to her father and denouncing
him forever.
! As soon as possible lie returned, but
| with a sinking heart lie entered liis
dwelling, bracing himself up (o meet
1 Hie fury of an enraged and wretched
1 woman. lie opened the door soflly.—
j She was bending over the table busily
, writing. A placid smile sealed her
mouth of perfect beauty, nuil spread
1 ...... 1-.. II.. ... SI .4 ...
1 prcseiou of joy atul peace ; tttttl even as
| she wrote tlio fragment of a sweet bal
lad fell from ber lips in low music that
! only flows from a heart entirely at rest.
I The husband stole noiselessly around,
: and read as her pen traced her gentle
1 thoughts:
“Your letter is lying by me, the very
j letter containing the ‘profound secret.’
j Xow, I could punish you for your care*
! tessness, but, my dearest Charles, how
j could I look you in the face when you
' return, after having basely violated
your trust in iny honor, and meanly
sought to gratify a silly curiosity, at
tlio expense of honesty, delicacy and
. .i.iOOem e t No, the letter Is unopened,
and lest you should feci uneasy, I en
close it to you with the love of your
affectionate wife.”
‘•What an angel!” uttered the hus
band.
She started up with a cry of pleasure,
and as Charles met the light of her
\ clear, tiiishrinking eyes, he was liuni
I bled that he should have suspected her
and deeply struck with repentance at
| his own conduct, lie henceforth sev
I tired all ties that drew him abroad.—
And if the pure being, whose influence
had lured him to the path of right, had
perttsed all his subsequent letters, site
would have found nothing concerning
herself, save hursts of the slncerest ad
miration and love.
Has She a Call to be a Wife.
lias she a call to be a wife who thinks
more of her silk dress than site docs of
I her children, and only visits her uurse
I ry once a day ?
| Has a woman a call to be a wife who
sits reading a newspaper while her
: husband stands before the glass vainly
! endeavoring to pin a bnttouiess shirt
bosom ?
lias that woman a call to bo a wife
who cries for a cashmere shawl when
her husbaud’s notes are being protest
ed ?
Has that woman a call to bo a wife
who expects her husband to swallow
■ttliileil online. soirirv broad, watcrv
potatoes, and smoky tea, six days out
of seven ?
lias she a call to bo a wife who flirts
vyith every man she meets and reserves
lire frowns for the home fireside?
Has site a call to be a wife who comes
down, to breakfast in abominable curl
(tapers, a soiled dressing gown ami her
1 shoes down at the heel?
Has site a call to be a wife who bores
' iter husband when lie comes into the
bouse, with tlte history of a broken tea
' ettpi or the possible whereabouts of a
| broom handle ?
Has site a call to be a wife whose
i husband's love weighs naught in the
balance with her neighbor's damask
: curtains ?
Has she a call to be a wife who lias
! the headache whenever her husband
| wants her to walk with him, but wears
out her gaiters promenading with his
gentleman friends ?
Has she a call toboa wife who would
' take advantage of a moment of conjii
1 gal weakness to extort money or exact
| a promise ?
lias she a call to be a wife who takes
a journey for pleasure, leaving her hus
band lo toil in n close office, and "have
nn eye” to the servants aud children,
when at home ?
Has she a call to he a wife to whom a
husband's society Is not the greatest of
earthly blessings?”
♦ - -
«rWe have all beard of asking for
bread and receiving a stone, but the
young gentleman may be considered
still worse treated, when be asked for
a young lady's hand and gyt lief fnlli*
ff's buy!.
Don’t Eat Raw Ham.
That the flesh of the hog frequently
contains :t parasitical insect is now
pretty thoroughly settled. That this
parasite is capable of being transferred
to the tissues of the human frame, pro
ducing a fearful disease termed trichin
I osis, has been proven beyond a donbt.
There arc scores of people In every
J community who have given tip the use
of pork entirely since this astonishing
, discovery, and scores of others who
! cat the flesh of swine with considerable
1 latent fear. The lesson to be drawn
I from the many cases of trichinosis
which have occurred in different parts
! of the country, may be summed up in
the four words which head this item.
| While authorities differ in many other
: things with regard to this new and ngly
I disease, all agree that if ham and pork
j are THOHot’oni.r cooked, there is no
\ danger in eating either. Sometimes
| the disease has heen communicated by
enting imperfectly cured “dried beef,"
' hut here, too, all danger disappears
when the beef Is well cooked. These,
and no other facts of especial interest
, the medical profession, arc admira
bly set forth in a communication to the
; Xew York Medical liccord, by I)r.
Kistinc of Marion, Iowa, who lias treat
I cd quite a number of oases of trichin
I osis. Dr. Itistiue sums up the matter
as follows:
1. That symptoms indicating the
! presence of young trichina; in the tis
sues are observed ns early or earlier
tlinn the fourth day after the ingestion
of the trlchinous meat.
2. That cysts are formed as early as
: the twenty-fifth day.
3. That, other things being equal, the '
severity of the symptoms is in direct
! propovik'u to the amount of trichinous '
meat eaten.
•t. 'Pint an active cathartie given,
while the worms ore still in the intes- ]
tiintl canal is effective to o certain de
gree in causing their expulsion and
mitigating the severity of flic disease.
5. That youth affords no immunity
from the effects of the disease.
I). That salting and smoking do ntft
destroy the vitality of the parasite. !
7. That thohoiuh cooking accom- j
PUSHES THIS object—[Tress and Times. I
Politeness.—In our intercourse with
tlie world (his species of civility is itn- 1
perativo. We possess no right to give j
offense, by language or actions, to oth- :
or», and we are hound to conduct our-1
selves agreeably to the reasonable aud '
set rules of society. Civilised society I
lias, In the course of time, Instituted j
certain rules in the code of politeness, i
which though of little actual value, it
is every one’s duty to learn, because by
knowing and acting upon them, we
can make life glide on ninch more1
smoothly and pleasantly than if we re
mained in ignorance of them.
It is iuriimbcut upon every one to be
courteous or respectful in his inter- ,
course with neighbors, acquaintances,:
or with the public generally. To infe
riors, speak kindly and considerately,
so as to relieve them from any feeling
of being beneath you in circumstances ;
to equals, be plain and unaffected in
maimer; aud to superiors, show be
coming respect, without, however, de
scending to subserviency or meanness.
Ill short, act a manly, courteous, and
inoffensive part in all the situations in
life in which you may bo placed. So
ciety has ordained certain inodes of
address, and certain exterior signs of
respectfulness, which it behooves us to
support and personally attend to. By
attention to the rules such as wo have
alluded to, the poorest man will be en
titled to the character of a geutlcinan,
mid by inattention to them the most
wealthy individual will bo essentially
vulgar. Vulgarity signifies coarseness
or indelicacy of manner, and is not
necessarily associated with poverty or
lowliness of rondition. Thus an ope-1
rativc artisan may be a gentleman, aud ,
worthy our particular esteem ; while
an opulent incrcliuut may be only a
vulgar clown, with whom it is impos
sihle to be on terms of friendly inter
course, w e say, cultivate politeness 1
of manner, by all means, for it is refined
civility, and will spare both ourselves1
and others much unnecessary pain.
The Connecticut Ki.ection.—Au ex
change says: The Democratic party
have fought in Connecticut a hold,
square, open battle under their own
party flag, through their own party or
ganization and without the advantage
of any Federal patronage or dandling.
So far as the battle 1ms been fought on i
National issues, the victory proves that
the Democratic i»rty can meet its re- j
cord with advantage, in proportion as
(lie passions of the last six years spend
their force and subside.
The Itepubliran party, whether for
good or for evil, lias accomplished its
mission. It must die with (he Issues
which gave it birth and have kept it in
power. The uiuctecn mouths which
intervene between now and the Presi
dential election will witness the dc-1
eline and full of a party which has
done more mischief, sited more blood,
squandered more treasure, kindled
more diabolical passions, aud inflicted
deeper wounds oil Constitutional gov
ernment titan any other political party
that ever existed in the world.
His Only ThKasCke.—“My dear,”
said an affectionate spouse lo her hus
band, “am 1 not your only treasure ?”
“Oh! ves,” wastin' cool reply, “amt I
wtt||ld tellingly lyy It t|p tq heuyen."
What an “insinuating” wretch.
-*• ” ■Want:
Who H&8 Pennies of 1858 ?
The Washington Star of a recent date,
in an article under the head of - What does
it mean ?’ contains the following, which
has caused quite a search fur pennies of
the coinage of 1858 :
No little curiosity has been excited by
the fact that parties in this city are making
industrious search fur nickel pennies of
1858, paying eagerly from 15 to 20 per
oent premium for them. We presume
that there is scarcely a grocery, markot
stall or fruit stand in the city, that has not
been visited by these collectors of the coin
in question. Another curious question
has been elicited by the demand for these
pennios, and that is that the search for
ftem, in a quiet way, must have been in
progress for years, as it turns out that they
have been almost wholly withdrawn from
circulation.
If any one having a quantity of pennies
of different dates and issues on hand,
doubts this fact, let him hunt -among the
lot for the penny of'58, and he will find
them nearly as scarce as hen’s teeth. As
the coin is of too recent date to bo in de
mand as relics for collections, the accepted
theory is that, by some accident at the
time of their coinage, these pennies con
tain a large per centnge of gold, which
fact has been discovered liy the parties
engaged in the search. The penny in
question will be remembered as bearing
on the face the representation of a nonde
script broken backed bird, supposed to
represent the American eagle.
-.
Wise Counsel.—The Macon Tele
graph wisely conics to the conclusion
that our only true and safe policy is a
rigid course of home industry and
economy. That meetings should he
called to communicate thatspiritamoug
them, until the whole South, with one
common voice, unite In the resolve to
turn their cotton lands into grain Acids
and raise no more of the former staple
than will servo for home purposes. He
refers to the fact that during a four
years' war we not only lived within
our own resources, bnt sustained a
largo and effective army. That the
spirit and industry that made (lie la
dies discard silks, satins, etc., and don
their homespun dkksses and the gentle
men their jeans, witli like sacrifices
and self dcuials, is all that is now nec
essary to show that we have not turned
traitors to that magnanimity of soul we
once boasted witli so much pride.
Ghostly Sensation.—The people of
Richmond have been regaled with a
sensation of the mysterious, as appears
from the Examiner of Monday, as fol
lows : There is great consternation on
Church Hill. Mysterious music, sol
emn and sepulchral, hath been heard
thereon about the witching hour of
night, when grave yards yawn. The
voices of many persons singing a
■nournful requiem, and shadows were
seen to glide by iu slow procession. A
gentleman residing on the bill heard
and saw these strange noises and sights
one night, anil his liuir did stnud on
end. The next night ho called iu his
neighbors, and the neighbors also saw'
and heard the strange sights and
sounds; their hair did likowisu stand
on end. For many nights they watch
ed—and for many nights did the same
sounds come wailing on the midnight
air—and their particular hairs Tor many
nights didcoutinuo to stand on ond.
But on Tuesday night they listened in
rain. Tho sounds disturbed uot the
silent air, aud the phantom host came
not. The ghostly miustrels hud evi
dently gone back when;e they came.
But “we will keep the watch to-night,
and if they assume tho shape of our
royal father, mother, or other murder
ed relations, well speak to them—tho’
all Richmond should bid us hold our
peace.”
*
Mrs. Partington’s Last.
‘What’s the matter, dear ?’ said Mrs.
Partington, as Ike threw the paper that
he had been reading, down upon the fluor
and stamped on it. ‘What makes you so
obstropulous, Isaac V
‘They’re going to stop the importation
of fire-crackers,’ replied Ike, with a tre
mendous flourish.
‘Well, well,’ said Mrs. P. os soothing
in her tone as a poultice, ‘I don’t see any
thing harmonious in that. And you need
not be so pugnacent about it either; bo
cause it doesn't infeet you anyhow.’
‘I’d like to know how they’re going to
keep Fourth of July,’ cried lie, wiping an
indignant tear from his eye. ‘Didn't John
Quincy Adams tell us to burn all the tar
barrels, and ring the bolls, and fire all the
crackers we wanted to ? And now Mr.
Fesscndcu, ouly because they burut his
city down last Fourth of July, ia going to
stop their importation. I wish I was a
member of Congress—’
‘Don’t, Isaac,’ the old lady interrupted
him, ‘don’t wish such a wicked thing as
that, remember you have got the family
virtue to maintain.’
She looked up as she spoke, at the pic
ture of the corporal of the bloody ‘ 'Sev
enth' on the wall; a sigh raised the white
’kerchief on her breast, at the sight of
that Spartan embodiment of virtue ; and,
giving Ike a new threo-ccnt piece that she
mistook for a one, she relapsed into the
stew then pending.
... . iji——
BhjHiiye n tyi«c man health, mid he
will give himself everything else.
Social Economy-*A Duologue,
Scknr—Bohemia. Enter on oppo
site sides Brown and Jones.
Brown (aside)—Oh, rapture I Here
, eomes Jones. He shall either lend me
half a crown or perish in the attempt.
Jonks (aside)—What a lucky dog 1
I am to moet Brown. He lias always
I two and sixpence about him. (Aflec
i tionatc greetings.)
Brown—Well, old fellow, how arc
i you. I was just on my way to get
i some dinner. Bnt to tell you the truth,
I am just now rather—
Jones (hastily.)—Bather in a hnrrr,
eh ? Well, l won’t detain oou ; but If
you could manage to—
Brown.—To give you a call; ofcourse
I will. But I don't mind saying that
in the meantime I'm—
Jones.—Ah, that reminds me. I was
going to ask yon—among friends, you
know—if it would he inconvenient—
Brown.—My dear boy, anything in
the world. Yon know how anxious I
am to serve you at all times. In fact,
I wouldn't ask you just now, if we were
not the most intimate friends, to—
Jones.—Oil, it's not the slightest con
sequence. Then I may tell Mrs. B. that
we may expect you some evening next
week. Have you got such a tiling as—
Brown.—A dress coat? Well, no.
But yon don’t enre about ceremony, I
know. Can yon contrive to lend me—
Jones. — Talking of lending, you
haven't u spare half crown, have you?
Brown.—How very odd! I was on
tlic point of asking yon to lend metwo
and-six-pcncc.
Jones.—Ah, hu! Good bye, Brown,
Brown—Take care of yourself, Jones.
Exepnt.—[Fun.
—-♦#! -- -
Premiums to Subscribers.
The proprietors of some papers are
so prosperous they now hire subscri
bers to take their paper. A Xow
Hampshire editor and proprietor takes
tiie load iu liberal inducements ns fol
lows :
Subscribers for one copy of the “Can
cer" will be present!*) with enc box of
petroleum paste blacking. This is a
very superior article) it will black
boots, stoves, or may bo used as a hair
dye. (For testimonials from leading
clergymen, statesmen aud boot blacks,
see advertising columns of the weekly
“Cancer.”)
Subscribers for two copies will re
ceive n box of sardines.
Subscribers for five copies will re
ceive a pair of ironclad spcctacles'witli
glass eyes, warranted to suit one ago as
well as another.
Subscribers for ten copies will be en
titled to a patent adjustable boot-jack,
which can be used as a corkscrew, cof
fee mill or ink stand.
Subscribers for twenty copies will
receive a marble bureau with a tuuhog
any lop.
Subscribers foit fifty copies will re
ceive a seven octavo sewing machine,j
witli Agra lie attachment.
Subscribers for seventy-fivo copies
will receive a bass-wood suite of furni
ture.
Subscribers for one hundred copies
will receive a burial plot with an ardor
for a tombstone delivered when re
quired.
Subscribers for five huudred copies
will receive a nomination for Con
grots.
Subscribers for a thousand copies
will be presented with a farm iu the
State of Now Jersey, fenced in and
mortgaged.
>®*Tho friends of Joe Coburn and
John C. Ileenan, saya the New York
Herald, arc said to be anxious to match
them for a prise fight for $10,000 a side
aud the chainpious belt. There must
be some mistake iu this, however; Mr.
Morrissey is champion of America.—
He whipped lloenan, aud is now the
rightftil ow%or of the belt. If Coburn
or Hecuan desire to wilt the champ
ionship they must first ciialleugc John*
Morrissey, when he will bo compelled
to tight or yield up the belt to his chal
lenger, according to the rules of th<i
prize-ring.
Tlie recess of Congress will leave
John Morrissey at leisure to de
cide as he pleases. We should advise
hint, however, to give up the prize-ring
belt, aud to go iu for the new ‘'ring” at
Washington. With his stamina, pluck
and practical knowledge of the world,
lie call soon whip out Thad. Stevens,
lieu. Butler, Boutwell, llulburd, aud
all of the other political bruisers, and
win and hold the championship there.
A Toicwxo Lxcidext.—A young
minister went out to preach and ob
served, during his discourse, a lady
who seemed much affected. After
meeting he concluded to pay her a visit,
and see what the impressions of her
uiiud wore, lie approached her thus :
“Well, madam, I see you was oflectcd
much to-day during preaching?”
“La, me,” said the lady, “I’ll tell you.
About six years ago, me and my lius
baud moved to this place, and all the
property we had was a donkey, llus
| bund lie died, and me and the beast
were left alone. At last the boat died ;
and to tell you the truth, your voice
put me so much in mind of that dear
old critter, tliut 1 couldn’t help taklug
on and crying about it right lu meet
ing."
--
.Isjf-Onc reason why the world is not
' reformed is, because every man Is betit
on reforming others, wliiic but few
■ tjiluk of reforming themselves,
salmagundi.
-Rock Island, Hampton and C'en
tralia, Illinois, have all gone Demo
cratic.
JSr,“lIusband, I must lmve a little
change to-day.” “Well, stay at home
and take care of the children. That
will he a radical change,”
: Haf- A western editor, when in du
rance for libelling a justice of tho peace,
was requested by the jailor to give the
prison a favorable notire.
It a tiiek Personal.—•‘You look ns
though yon were beside yourself," as
the wag said to a fop who happened to
be standing by a donkey.
t^"W!ien is a plant like a hog?
When it begins to root. And when is
it like a soldier? When it begins to
shoot. And when is it liko ait editor ?
When it begins to blow.
Kaf'A southern editor says the shape
of a kiss is clurtical. This mast be
derived from the sensation one experi
ences when enjoying tha luxury, for it
is certainly a Lir tickle.
Ihff-A lady wished a seat. A portly
handsome gentleman brought one and
seated her. “Oh, you aro a jewel," said
she. “Oh, no,” replied he, “I am a
jeweler—I have just set the jewel.”
|&*A little boy asked his mother
what “blood relations” meant. She
replied that it «ignificd near relatives,
etc.; after thinking a moment he said:
“then mothor you must be tbe blood
iest relation I’ve got.”
Mp'Somcbody thinks that if nature
had intended a man to be a drunkard,
lie would have been so constructed like
a churn, so that the mere he drank, tho
more firmly he would stand.
IST'A rural paper advertises for fifty
yonng ladies of sufficient age ‘to go in
company,’ who dare confess that, they
have ever made a loaf of bread or a
pudding.
you love others they will love
you. If you speak kindly to them,
they wilt speak kindly. Love is repaid'
with love, and hatred with hatred.—
Would you hear a sweet and pleasant
echo, speak sweetly and pleasantly
yourself.
t^'Lincs on a defunct Missouri tax
payer:
“O, cruel fate, in rain I fled;
Wo pay a Poil tax when we’re (lead.’’
This is a subjugation to which dead
men are obliged to submit, by ltadica!
legislation, in Missouri.
A young lady asked a gentle
man the'nienning of the word “surro
and he explained it to her as “a
gate through which parties have to go
to get married. “Then, I imagine,’’
said the lady, “that it is a corruption
of sorrow-gate.” “Yeu are right,”
said he, “as woman is an abbreviation
of woe to man.”
J0y“Willlam,” said n carpenter to
his npprcnticc, “as I shall 1 e absent
to-day, I wish you to griud all the
tools.”—‘Ycs, sir.’ The carpenter canto
homo at night. “William, have yoir
ground all the tools?”—“All but the
hakdsaw,” said Bill. “1 couldn’t get
quite all the gaps out of that.”
iSyDuring a sovcrc thunder storm,
a lady was telling her children not to
be afraid that God held the thunder in
his hand, aud would not let it hurt
them less he thought it for the best.—
Just t hen a loud clap was heard: “There
now, said a little one, God has let it
go, and gone home out of the rain.”
fctf-If a laddie meets a lassie walking
in the street, if the lassie wears a “tilt
er”—shows an ancle neat; if the wind
in rudely blowing, lifts her skirts too
high, and a laddie sees the ancle, need
a lassie cry? Every lassie wears it
“tilter” and a “lnuderpest,” and a metal
“palpitator” on her snowy breast. If
when married to tlie lassie these tafte
charms he spy; if he says “I’m sold, by
jingo!” need a lassie cry ?
* le&-'Aro you acquainted with tho
provisions of Stevens’ Bill,” said a gen
tlemen who was a little aaxions about
reconstruction to another not verr well
posted. “Acquainted with Stevens'
Bill” was the answer, “certainly I am,
and a domed menu nigger he is too.
Don't know much about his provisions
though, saw him with a middling of
meat the other day—reckon he stole it.
He wou't suffer, as long as there is any
thing to steal.”
A9>A young couple went to tiev.
i Paul Davis to get married. Air. D. is
a wag, and by an innocent mistake,
began to read from the prayer book as
follows.'
“Man that is born of a Woman is full
of trouble, awcl hath bwt a short time
to live."
The astonished bridegroom suddenly
, exclaimed—
“Sir, yon mistake, we tame to be
married.”
“Well, replied Davis, if you Insist, I
will marry yon, bnt believe me,- hiy
friend#, you had better be burled.”
•9-Dip the Atlantic dry with a tea
spoon ; twist your heel into the toe of
your boot; make postmasters perform
their promises and subscribers pay the
priuter; send up fishing hooks With
balloons and fish for star#; wheh the -
rain comes down like the cataihct of
Niagara, remember where you left
your umbrella; choke a musquito with
a brickbat; in short, prove all things
hitherto considered impossible; but
never attempt to eOait A Wotuah to say
she ‘won't’ when she has made up hep
mind to wv she "will.”