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J Wo have supplied oursclres with a good 'v * Advertisers by the year will be restricted
J» assortment of Printing Material and are ( to their legitimate business.
\M "*>» •*•** * ki“'19 °f Job Prin‘H --------- -----^- -: =.-=^--=aa=^--—-ftHLSESSfrtl SrtSftte
""w^repIrlTto prim ramphie.s. c«.- p0E . MATHEWS, Proprietors. [ESTABLISHED sErtEMBER, 1854] $2 50 PER ANNUM—In Advance. ;
i II ri*srs: -zzrz VOLIJMEii. " pes arc, arkansa9, may 4,1867._ number
PROFESSIONAL CARPS. _
l.lCRKfT A BAM8AUR,
attorneys at law,
AVGUSTA, ARKANSAS.
AY ill practice in the counties of Woodruff,
Jackson, White and Craighead. Special at
tention given to collections of all claims en
trusted to their care aprO-ly
,1. C. JONSON, Office—Wbri feint, Arkansas.
JN’O. M. MOORE, Office—Searcy, Arkansas.
JONSON & MOORE,
Attorneys at Law,
SOLICITORS IX CHANCERY,
—AKI>—
General Land and Collecting Agents,
/ *
HKAIICV, VK KAXSAS.
YVn.t give prompt attention to any business
in the counties of Independence, Jackson,
Woodruff,'Monroe, l’rairie, White, Conway
and Van lluren. __
dr. ALLEN
HtVlXO concluded to remain in Des Arc,
tenders his services to the citizens gen
erally Over thirty years experience, added
t„ B thorough qualification for his profession,
n - -urea him that he can give general satis
l.Ktion. Ministers of the Gospel, and all
V. ho hive been disabled in the service of their
country, treated gratis. _
Dos Arc, Arl;., Echniary 2, ISfcfl—Cm
J. It. I*. U.»Rll>4ii:,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
■ Cotton Plant, Arkansas.
AVim. practice in the Circuit Courts of
Woodruff county, mid the Circuit Courts of;
the seventh Judicial District, and give prompt
attention to all business entrusted to his
icare. jam
Geo. W. Maberry,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
SOLICI T O JI IX CH AXCEHY
—AND—
GESEKiG MXS> AGEST,
COTTON I’l.ANT,
WOODRUFF COUNT!', ARKANSAS.
X XT I Ft, attend the Circuit and Probate
> V CeutU for Hie counties of Monrno. St. j
Francis and Woodruff. mailt l
J K. GATEWOOD, 1 / J. S. THOMAS.
Fes Are. \rk. j \ Biownsiillo, Ark.
GATEWOOD & THOMS,
g TrimwK'si £&w
lies Arc and Brownsville,
PiUIRIE lOtATV, lUKAXSAS.
derl-tf___
GANTT I BftONAUan. ISniwnsvi'.V, Ark.r
H. P. VAUGHAN, Dcs Arc, Arkansas.
Gantt, Bronnugh & Vaughan,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
Will practice in the counties of Prairie,
White, Woodruff. Monroe, Arkansas and Pu
Liski. Prompt atttention piven to tlio collec
tion of claims Taxes will be paid and ti les
invest ipated for non-residents. ^ apTl4-3ui
l, S JI Kt*i;KPKTlI. T. BLAKE KKXT.
HEDGEPETH & KENT,
ATTCaUSYS AT LAW.
DES ARC, ARKANSAS.
TTT1I.L practice in all of *the courts of
\V Prairie county, and the circuit courts
of the surrounding counties. mar24-f>m
WM- T- JONES,
4t *AWt
BROWNSVILLE, ARKANSAS.
WILL practice in the counties of Pulaski.
Prairie, Monroe, Woodruff, Jackson and
\» 1 ...1,1 i | n hIiah — i In llin nnlliw*.
tion of claim#. nprl4-ly
WM. B. COODY. D. Ml’HA*.
COODY & MoRAE,
AWOPP9 &T &&W
SEARCY, WHITE COI’STY,
AUKANSAS.
Will practice in all the courts of Arkansas.
raar‘24
* BOt f. CLARK' SAM W. WILLIAMS.
JOE IV. MARTIN.
CLARK. WILLIAMS & MARTIN,
Attorneys at Law,
L * LITTLE HOI K, ARKANSAS.
WILL practice in all the Court#, prosecute
Claims of al! kinds, collect debts, and
v act as Rial Kg Rite and General Agents.
Office—Markham Street, near State House.
1 „ api il28-t f
W. IIIOKS, Formerly of the firm of Cvpert A:
- Hicks.
II. R, FIELDING, Formerly of Atheus, Ala.
* HICKS & FIELDING.
ATT0ES8Y3 AT LAW,
Searcy, While Co., Irknnsaii.
WILT, practice in this and the adjacent
counties. In the District Courts, and Sn
prone Court of the State.
—■—We have in connection with nnrL.n
Offick an ACTIVE ODT-BOOB COLLECTING
AGENCY. Claims entrusted to us will hi
promptly attended to, and if not immediately
. collected will be at once secured if possible
Claim against the Government for property
taken by the U. S forces fwhether receiptei
for or not)—Boontiis l’lixsto**, Arraabs o
Pay Ac promptly attended to.
HICKS t FIELDING.
——
DES ARC ADVERTISEMENTS.
PICTURES!7
L. A.T
t, g» &mw
PINE ART GALLERY,
Situated on Buena Vista St.,
t*csi JUc, JUftiWSM,
Where Pictures ot' all kinds are made,
from small miniature to life size Pho
tographs, and colored with Indelible
Ink, Oil, or Water Colors. All work
warranted perfect and durable.
The subscriber herein has spared no pains,
or expense in making this GALLERY far sur
pass any in this Territory, and having bad
an experience of many years in the business
of Picture making, with the aid of a perfect
set of Apparatus, feels confident that he can
defy competition in PRICES or QUALITY.
&&toas staima©.
Having reduced my prices, it places Pictures
within the reach of every man woman and
child.
Just fifty cents is all the expense,
Of a Picture made of your face,
And for double that sum, if you quickly come.
Will be made and put in a Case.
Don't delay this opportunity, for you may
never have so good a chance again. It takes
but a little time and expense to get a
^ «iwu JTm
Of yourself or friends, and you never Will re
gret it, “Remember the old must die, and
the youngjnay die.” Ro
“Secure the shadow.
’lire the substance fade,
Let art copy that
W hich nature made.*’
Photograph* of Capt. Rayburn, and views
of the town for sale at the Gallery.
I shall keep constantly on hand a large
stock of
ALttUMft
FKAMES,
AAl> CASMS,
And all articles usually kept in a first class
GALLERV.
1 will also furnish Country Artists with
Ambrotype and Photographic Goods, Appn- ]
ratus, Chemicals, etc., at Memphis prices.
Pictures taken in all kinds of weather.
Old Pictures copied and made new and life
like.
Tlcasc give me a call.
L. L. CROSS, Proprietor.
Dos Arc, Aide., April 0, 1807.
DliYGOODS
—AT—
EASTERN PRICES!!
llaring recently purchased McLaren
& Ilavley's
ENTIRE STOCK
—OF—
rv n i t» . rt!
1/1} uuuus, j3uois, oiiurs,
Hats, Etc.
WE OFFER IT AT
Wholesale Prices
For tliti next
Thirty Days,
In order to make room for the Urge
' stock of SPRING GOODS now on the
' way. We say to the farming commu
nity, if you want a bargain now is
i your time. We solicit an examination
of our whole stock, consisting of
groceries, brk goods,
HOOTS AND SHOES,
HARDWARE,
F IRMING IMPLEMENTS,
STOVES AND TRIMMINGS,
FCRNITt RE,
TINWARE, W OOUflCNW ARE,
CASTINGS, ETC., ETC.
Give us a call an«l examine for youraelve#;
we try to keep nothing but what will j*nd
inapectiofl tTEWART,*GWVNNK & GO.
. mar 30
1 IT IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS WHY.
The following lines arc not limited to any
particular locality, but are applicable to every
neighborhood :
Would you like to know the secrets
Of your neighbor’s house and life ?
IIow he lives, or how he doesn’t,
And just how he treats his wife ?
How he spends his time or leisure,
i Whether sorrowful or gay ;
And where lie goes for pleasure,
To the concert or the play ?
If you wish it, I will tell you—
Let me whisper to you sly—
If.your neighbor is but civil,
It is not your business why.
In short, instead of prying
Into other men’s affairs,
If you do-your own but justice,
You will have no time for theirs.
Be attentive to such matters
As concern yourself alone,
And wbatcwr fortune flatters.
Let your business be your own ;
One word by the way of finis—
Let me whisper to you sly—
If yon wish to be respected,
You must cease to be a pry.
->#> - ■
jQyThc following extract is from the
oration of Dr. S. II. Ford, upon the as
sembling of the ladies, at Elmwood
Cemctry, Memphis, Tcnn., to decorate
the graves of Confederate soldiers, on
tin? 2<>tli of April:
When die Beauty of Israel (Saul) was
slain on the high places, David took np
the lamentation, the “Beauty of Israel.
Ye mountains of Ciilboa, let there be
no dew, neither let there be rain upon
you, nor fields ef olleriug, for there die
shield of die mighty was vilely cast
away. From the .blood of the slain,
from die fat of die mighty, the bow of
Jonathan turned not back, die sword
of Saul turned not empty away. Ye
daughters of Israel weep for Saul.
i ii'm ill v «u: iiii^wiv taiilTl iiuu mu
weapons of war perished.” If the fall
of a rival and an enemy eould bring
from the grout heart of the warrior*
king these strains of mournful melody,
if the hero of Judah with such inimita
ble pathos consecrated the memory of
one who had chased him as a partridge
on the mountains, shall we not then
observe a custom in harmony with tlie
noblest and purest sentiment and sym
pathies of all climes and all ages of the
world, in perpetuating the memory of
brothers, fathers and friends, who fell
while standing as a wall of blazing tire
in our front. Should we not cherish
in grateful recollection their lives and
their deaths? Beats there u heart so
dead to all that is beautiful and noble
in human nature, ns not to be affected
by such sueet tokeirx of reverence and
love? Does the being live who can
envy us the sad luxury of sorrow and
the melancholy jov which the poor
heart feels in holding converse with the
loved and honored dead? Imagine an
humble grave in the valley of Virginia,
with a simple stone telling the name of
the hero of an hundred battlefields of
the Shenandoah and Kappalmnnpck.
There stands leaning against that head
stone, a venerable man, silent, sad and
tearful. It is Hobert K. Lee at the
grave |of Stonewall Jackson. Look at
that scene. Is there a man of our
clime who would break in upon that
silence? who would interrupt those
meditations? C’ould there bo a sub
limcr or moro impressive picture pre
sented to us of any great event of mod
ern times? Will humanity ever be so
lost to all that is great and good and
noble, as to cease to revere the memo
ry of either of those distinguished he
roes and patriots? Williams and
Preston, the compatriots of Jackson,
sleep here beneath these mounds, aud
those who followed the tattered ban
ner, till Lee aud Johnson furled it for
ever, come to shed a tear over their
late aud their fall. But with this sor
row there mingles no bitterness, and
o'er it broods no spirit of vengeance.
Our dead heroes come not back like
im- guosi ui uuiuict turning revenge.
No Ulysses demands (ho beautiful l’o
lyxenia, that the son of Achilles might
offer her a bleeding sacrifice to appease
his father’s manes. We leave this
spirit to the cru«j superstition of a past
age, or thr more cruel fanaticism of the
present, most vengeful thirst for blood
no slaughter can satisfy, and whose
heartless hatred no humiliation, no
ruin can appease. With us the conflict
has passed, its issues have been decided,
and however much we may feel the
humiliation of our "condition, yet we
accept the arbitrament and seek uo ap
peal ; and though we mourn the loss of
our brethren and look around with
sadness on the darkness of the hour,
wo can truly say it is the subdued ten
derness and regret, for the lost cause
wc thought was right and the friends
who stood by it, subdued if not repent
ant ; reconciled, if not changed. It is
to us the shadowy evening of a bright
day, of which the poet has said ;
“Kveu as the tenderness that hour distills,
When summer's day declines stung the hills,
So feels the fulness of our heart and eyes,
When all of genius, that can perish, dies."
Such is the character of our sorrow,
and such is the true key by which to
interpret our regard for the memories
of our fallen braves. We know they
fought heroically in the full conscious
ness of right. To show this, is to vin
dicate their memory, and to justify our
grateful remembrance.
Courage has ever been esteemed by
all tribes in alt ages. The heart in
stinctively warms to admiration as it
contemplates deeds of chivalry or he
roic endurance. Theseus, the nncestrla
king of Athens, received for centuries
the heroic worship of his countrymen
for his youthful exploits, and his vic
tory over Taurus in the labyrinth of
JUinor, and such was the reverence for
his memory and the influence of his
example, that his phantom form was
seen by the eye of enthusiasm in the
forefront of the Athenian army at
Marathon, sweeping down tho count
less hosts of the Persians. But true
! courage must be measured by the mo*
i live which prompted it,.and the oir
: cuinstances under which it is exercised.
Merc insensibility to physical danger,
' desperate daring without lofty aim or
i manly motive; mere love of excitement
or adventure, tlilrst for glory, ambition
for the "bubble reputation,” or visions
of power, or the gratification of nation
al pride or hate, these strip the attri
bute of real virtue and of all true
greatness. The courage and daring of
Arnold beneath a foreign flag only em
blazoned bis infamy ; and devotion to
his memory, were it possible, would he
-acrilege. But, on the other hand.
I when courage is drawn forth by prin
! ciple, and the hero, to sustain that
! principle against real or supposed sub
I version or aggression, braves alike tliu
carnage of the battle-field, t lie solitude
| of the bastile. or the ignominy of tire
I scaffold, it invests the character with
, tlie brightest glory, and lifts the pos
] scssor to the highest pinnacle of human
I virtue. Those in all ages who have
, displayed such courage have received
I the hero’s crown, have been renowned
■ by poetic story and have been held up
I as models for the imitation of future
! generations. Now if such courage,
! prompted by exalted principle and
i sustained b.v a sense of right bore our
j * c
heroes on through weariness and pri
i ration, through battle storms, impris
onment and death, then, they too. are
I worths’ to receive our plaudits : to live
i in memory and in song, and though
i their rcsttng place he unknown, vet
their nrmes should be cntahlatured in
| marble or in brass, or at least engraven
j forever on the hearts of their cotmtry
i men. To attempt to prove or even il
lustrate their daring, their endurance,
i their constancy, or their fortitude, were
altogether gratuitous. Their decdq
i have spokeu and tlie world lias heard
i and paused in admiration. Those
deeds still speak in tones that can nev
! cr die. Listening to them as they ring
; through the earth, your speaker is si
| lent I They, trot L pronounce their
I eulogy to-day. Was not the courage
j of our dead prompted by principles of
right? Did they not honestly believe
that they were battling for freedom ;
i for the independence ot the states and
the rights of their countrymen? We
know they believe it. We should then
; cherish their memories, for they gave
up tiicir lives in a cause they deemed
j the highest aud holiest of earth. Tine
‘ great Dr. Outlining said years ago in a
Boston pulpit: “It is a voluntary union;;
j it is idle to talk of force as binding us
i together. Nothing can retain a :ncm
| her of tins confederation when once
i resolved upon separation. The only
; trends that can permanently unite us
are moral ones.” With tiiese words
aud like sentiments coming down to
us from the greatest and best men our
country bad ever produced, is it a won
der that in their artless honesty they
| believed a state had a right to choose
its own political destiny? If they
I were wrong, it was an “error of the
; head and uot of the heart.” Those who
j met our braves as foeinen on the Helds
! of Shiloh, Gettysburg, or Franklin,
' will indulge in no epithets of oppro
I brium to cloud their memory. They
know they encountered men, aud not
criminals, lliey know that such lofty
j courage as they displayed could be
1 sustained only by principle. The bravo
j love to honor tho brave. Epithets and
1 insults are not the weapons of the war
, riors who won the battles af the union,
j It Is only from the lips of men of cold
..* _l 1 1a ... — — .j1 .
I" ** ----I - ~ - * —o ~ —-** »
that insults to the memory of our hon
oredNlead so flippantly and constantly
! fall—men who never met them on the
ticUl of strife, hut feel safe in insulting
a fallen foe. lilame us not for mount
ing the loss of our brothers and kius
' men; eimrgo us not with folly for
cherishing their memory and honoring
their names as heroes and patriots.
... i> »
erfy-Onc evening a parent was hear
ing his little Johnny recite his Sunday
school lesson. It was the thirteenth
, chapter of Matthew, wherein it relates
the parable of the man who went about
sowing tares, &c.
“Wliat is a tare?” the parent in
( qulred.
Johnny hesitated.
••Tell me my son, what a taro i«, won't
you ?”
“You've had ’em,” said Johnny,
casting his eyes down and wriggling
Itis foot.
i “Had 'em !” said the astonished pn
' rent, opening ltis eyes rather wide,
“why, what do you mean. Johnny?”
“AVhcu you didn’t come homo tor three
: days last, week,” said Johnny, “I heard
mother toll aunt Susan you was off on
a taro.”
The Sunday school lesson was
brought to an abrupt close, anti Joliu
uy, who knew too much altogether, to
sit up any later, was sent off to bed.
t&- A lady recently advertised for
employment as foHows: A young
widow lady wishes to superintend a
widower's household affairs, and would
have no objection to the super vision of
a child.
Why Women Cannot Enter Masonio
Lodges.
Frequent complaints arc made by la
dies in relation to masonry, and their
principal arguments arc, Lhat their hus
bands have no business to do anything
that they cannot tell tlicir wives—that
I that Which is se cret must be wrong—
| that it is only a mean excuse, and so on.
One branch of the subject seems, how
ever, to he capable of legendary expla
nations, and the Xorfolk Jonrnal pub
lishes thereon the following para
graphs :
When King Solomon wns still a
young man he had married his seventh
wife. She was a beautiful young Am
mouitess, with locks ns black as the ra
ven's wing, and eyes ns bright as the
eagle's. It was believed she was the
fhvored fuir one among all the sultans
of the great king, for his allectious were
not divided then as they afterwards be
came. Hie knew her power, and used
it unsparingly. In addition to her oth
er qualities siie was as inquisitive a
creature as ever was a woman on
cartli.
One cvening-King Solomon attended
lodge on some grand occasion, and
staid out somewhat lute. When he re
turned home, ho fuuud the foil' Animo
nitess in the dumps, and pouting' just >
like the dear wives of Masons some
times do now when their lords stay out
late at the lodge. She upbraided him |
with neghevting her, insinuating that
he hadn't been to the lodge as he pre
tended, and insisted that in future he
should give proof that lie went there
bj having herself iniatod, so Unit she
might go there and watch him.
“Daughter of Ammon,” replied the
King, “tliou hast behaved thyself as
one of the foolish women, in presum
hi” iu ijucmiuii my juru uuu iuumit.— ;
Tlio’.i art not so angry with me as thou
prctendest to be, for the true reason of
tills behavior is thy insatiable curiosi
ty, in which thou excellent Eve herself.
Know thou that I have ordained that
neither (bou uor any of thy inquisitive
sex after thee shall ever enter the por
tals of a Masonic lodge; but I shall en
join the lyler to pierce through with!
his drawn sword, any woman that shall
attempt to enter a lodge; aye, even
thee, Queen of Israel though thou bo!"
And that ordinance of this wisest of i
monarehs has continued in force till
this day.
Nicknaiuos.
The day of using nicknames never
will die out, but the custom of chris
tening children by nicknames and pet .
names should be strangled in the cra
dle.
The rising generation will blush for
the sentimental silliness of tlielr pareuts
who bestowed these names upon them.
A writer says:
Girls, instead of being baptized with
such sensible, old fashioned names as
Matilda, Charlotte, Margaret, or Sarah,
arc christened Tlldio, Lottie, Maggie,
and Sadie. Ellen dwindles into Ellie.
Susan shrinks into Sudic, Caroline is
made ridiculous l>y being cut down to !
Linie, Emma becomes insipid in Eui- i
mio, and most wretched of all the beau
tiful name of Mary is frittered away in
to Mamie.
The nicknaming would be all very
well if, iu its use, it was confined to the
family circle; but such names arc given
permanently to children, and future I
wives and mothers of the land figure in j
©Very advertised list of letters, and cv
err school examination, as Lidies, Su
dies, and Sadies.
Think of the wife and mother of the
father of his country, christened by the
names of Mamie and Mattie, and of the
mother baptizing the future hero and
statesman as Ueorgie!
The llrst Napoleon would have lived
a bachelor forever hud his first wife
been named Josie, and he would not
have troubled an Archduchess of A us
triu to take tho place of the discarded
EmpresB, had site been named Minnie
Louie, instead of the plain aud sensible
Maria Louisa.
The Town and Fortress of Luxem
burg.
Iu view of the threatened troubles in
Europe the following description of the
town and fortress of Luxemburg is of
interest:
“The town of Luxemburg is tho cap
ital of the Oraud Duchy, and lias a rep
utation of being one of the strongest
fortresses iu Europe, second only to
Gibraltar. It is divided into two quar
ters, tlie latter of which is two hundred
feet higher than the former, resting on
solid rocks, and accessible by steps aud
zig-zag streets. This rocky crest is sur
rounded by a massive wall, deep ditch
es aud formidable outworks.
The Grand Duehv was divided by the
treaty of 1814, part of it going to Bel
gium, aud part, containing the town
and fortress, to Holland. This Dutch
portion formed the eleventh State of
the German Confederation, and the
fortress is held by German troops which
naturally enough accounts for the op
position offered to the proposed ces
sion. '
Part of this territory was in the hands
of tho French from 1(551) to 1711, aud
was called French Luxemburg, but iu
the hitter year It passed into tho hands
of Austria, and was so held until won
hack by the revolutionary armies of
France, to be lost, as we hare stated, by
the treaty, of 1814. Owing to the eon
! solidation of Prussia, the Emperor of
France is anxious to get bwlc this
Uynghold.”
How Sal Disgraced the Family.
A traveller in the State of Illinois,
some years ago, came to a lone log lint
on the prairies, near Cairo, and hulled,
lie went into the house of logs. It was
a wretched affair, with an empty box
for a table, where two or three broken
chairs and stools graced the reception
room; the dark walls of which were
further ornamented by a display of tin
ware, and a broken dclf article Or two.
The woman was cry lug in one cor
ner; and tlic man, with tears in his
eyes and a pipe in his mouth, sat on a
stool, with Ins dirty arms resting on his
knees, and his sorrowful-looking head
supported by the palms of his bands.
Not a word greeted the interloper, as
be entered.
“Well," be said, “you seem to bo in
an awful trouble here. What is the
matter?”
“Oh! we are almost crazy, neigh
bor,’' said the woman : and we ain't got
no patience to see folks now."
“That's all right.," said the v'yitor, not
taken aback by this polite rebuff, “but
can't l be of any service to you in this j
trouble ?”
“Well, we've lost our gal. Our Sal's
gone off and left us," said the man in
despair.
“Ah, do you know wliat could have
induced her to leave you ?" asked the
man.
“Well, we can't say, stranger, ns bow
she’s so far lost us to he induced ; but
then she's gone and disgraced us,” said
the father.
"Yes, neighbor, and not as I should
say it as is her mother, hut that- warn’t
a poortier gal in the West than ray Sal
—she's gone and brought ruin on us,
and on her own head,” followed the
stricken mother.
“Who has sho gone with?" asked (lie
visitor.
“Well, them's the trouble. The gal
could have done well, and might have
married Martin Kehoe, a shoemaker,
who, although lie's got but one eye,
plays on the flute in u lively maimer,
and earns a good living. She was sur
rounded by all the luxury in the coun
try,” said the father.
“Vos, who knows what poor Sal will
have to cat, drink, or wear now,” cried
the mother.
“Who is the fellow that has taken her
from you, to lead her into such mis
ery J”
“Why, she's gone off and got married
to a critter called an editor, us lives in
the village, and the devil knows how
they are to earn a living.”
A very good widow, who was
looked up to by the congregation to
which she belonged, as an examplo of
piety, contrived to bring her conscience !
to terms for one little indulgence. She ]
loved porter, and one day, just ns she
received half a dozen bottles from the ,
man who usually brought her the com-,
fortable beverage, she (oh, horror!) he-I
held two of the grave elders of the |
church approach her door. She ran the
man out of the hack door, and put the |
bottles under the hud. The weather |
was extremely warm, and while con
versing with her sage friends, pop went
a cork t
“Dear me!” exclaimed the good lady,
“there goes that bed-cord ; it snapped
yesterday evening in the very same
way. I must have a new rope pro
vided.”
In a few'minutes pop went another,
followed by the peculiar hiss of escap
ing liquor. The rope would not serve
again, hut the good old lady was not at
a loss.
“Dear me I” says she, “that black cat
must he at some mischief under there.
Scat!”
Another bottlo popped off, and the
porter came stealing out from the bed
curtains.
“Oh, dear me I” said site, “1 lmd for
got—its tho yeast? Here, Prudence!
come and take those bottles of yeast
away!”
1 Saw 11ek but a M»xient.—She
wore a handsome crinoline on the day
when first we met, and she scudded
like a schooner with a cloud of canvass
set. As she t-wopt along the pavement
with a grandeur tit to kill, 1 saw her
but a moment, yet methiuks i sec her
still.
The wind was on a bender, and as
saucy as a witch, aud it played the very
dickens with dust dimity aud sieh.—
The gaiters were delicious which her
feet were made to till—I saw her hut a
moment, yet methiuks 1 see her still.
She scooted round the corner, and
streaming out behind, bar crinoline and
calico were romping in the wind, to
have kept them in position would have
baffled twice her skill—I saw her but a
moment, yet methiuks I sec her still.
I shut my eyes tremenjus, for I didn’t
want to see, a display of pretty ankles
when It wasn't meant for mo ; and un
til T loose my senses, 1 am sure l uever
will—I saw her but a lnoiucut, yet me
thinks 1 see her still.
■ --- —■—
young fellow whose bettor half
had just presented him with u pair of
bouncing twins, attended church one Sun
day. During tlie discourse, the clergyman
looked right at our innocent friend and
said, iu a tone of thrilling clo^ucneo;
“Young man, you have an important re
sponsibility thrust upon you.” The newly
fledged dad, supposing tho preacher allud
ed h> his peculiar home event, considera
bly startled the audience by exclaiming,
'Yes 1 have two of them.”
Characteristics of a True Gentle
man.
In an oltl manor house in Gloucester
shire, England, may bo fonnd the fol
lowing sketch or portrait of atmcgen
tleman, written, framed and hung ovei
the mautle-piece of a tapestried sitting
room:
“The true gentleman is God's servant,
the world's master, and his own man ;
virtue is his business, study bis recrea
tion, contentment his rest, nml happi
ness his reward ; God is bis father, the
Church is his mother, the saints arc his
brethren, all that need him his friends :
devotion his chaplain, charity his cham
berlain, sobriety his butler, temperance
his cook, hospitality his housekeeper,
providence his steward, charity his
treasurer, piety Ids mistress of the
house, and discretion his porter, to let
him in and out.
Thus his whole family is made up of
virtues, and he is true master of the
house, lie is necessitated to take the
world on his way to heaven ; but he
walks through it os fast as ho can, and
all his business by the way is to make
himself and others happy. Take him
in two words—a man, a Christian.
A Queer Courtsliip.
In a small country town in Hartford
County, Connecticut, a widower who
had acted the part of a brute and a ty
rant to bis wife, went shortly after the
demise of his wife to pay his respects
to a buxom widow, who like her suitor
had not the best reputation for suavity
of manners and meekness of temper.—
The following eolorpiy ensued:
“Well, madam, I have come to see
you.’’
ii lit, you innj jusi clear oill again,
for I'll have nothing to do with you.—
You needn't think to get me, sir. You
abused and whipped your first wife,
and I know what kind of a fellow you
are. You can bet high on that.’1
"Yes, I did; and if l had volt I'd
make you toe the mark. I'd give you
a good threshing every time you de
served it, aiul I wouldn't let you vote
if every woman in town ran to the polls
with a ballot in her hand.'*
Strange as it may appear, tills very
lovingand romantic couple were united
in tlie ‘‘holy bonds of padlock,” three
days afterward.
“Was every woman in this manner wooed,
Was every woman in this manner won
I.CIUCROUS Scene.—An aged clergy
man speaking of the solemnity attached
to the ministerial office, said that du
ring tlie whole term of forty or fifty
years that he had officiated therein, his
gravity had never beeu but once dis
turbed in the pulpit.
On that occasion, ho noticed a man
directly in front of him leaning over
tlie railing of the gallery, with some
thing in his hand, which lie afterwards
discovered to be a huge chew of tobac
co just taken from his mouth. Direct
ly below sut a man fhst asleep, with his
mouth wide open. The man in the gal
lery was intensely engaged in raising
and lowering his hand, taking an exact
observation, till at last, having got it
right, lie let fall the quid, and it went
plump into tlie mouth of the sleeper
below ! An involuntary smile forced
itself upon the countenance of the min
ister.
-— i»■
A Warning to Euchre Players.—
A young man in Rochester, who is very
fond of playing euchre, and als8 very
fond of tlie daughter of a pillar of one
of the churches, was taking toa at the
house of his adored a short time since,
and hud some fruit cake offered him.—
Being somewhat confused on account
of his situation, as the cako was held
out to him, cried out, “1 pass.” The
father hearing him, and having played
some himself in his younger days, was
horror struck at his infatuation for the
game, uuu uiougni. ne wouiu leacu nun
a lesson, lie spoke bluntly:
“You pass, ilo you ? Then I order
vmi up—there's the door; I’ll make a
March I” *
-■»i
jfcy- A gentleman, driving up to a
country inn, accosted a youth iu this
style:
"My lad, extricate my quadruped
from the vehicle, stabulate him, donate
him a sufficient supply of nutritious ali
ment, and when the aurora of morning
shall ugaiu illuminate the oriental hori
zon, I will award you a pecuniary com
pensation for your amiable hospitali
ty.”
The boy, becoming puzzled, and not
comprehending the meaning of the gen
tleman's high sounding elfusiou, run
into the house and exclaimed:
“Daddy, there's a Dutchman out here
who wants some lager beer.”
19*The Vermont Patriot tells a sto
ry of an old usurer who went one day,
to visit a former borrower, who had
since, fortunately, grown from poverty
to independence. They went into the
garden. Passing along a walk flanked
on either side wtth flowers of great
beauty and variety, the visitor made no
remark until ho come to the 'potato
patch, when he exclaimed:
“My friend, you'll have a fine crop of
potatoes there I”
“That's like yon,” said the proprietor,
“When gentlemen and ladies pass
through my garden, they look at the
flowers; hut when a hog comes in, all
he cau see is potatoes!”
—■ i • i —
Heir An exchange soys that “bridal en
ir (dopes,” so extensively advertised for
sale, taean simply night-gowns - ;
j
SALMAGUNDI.
•©“False cars, of flesh color—India
rubber—have been invented for the use
of ladies with large cars. They are used
: in front of the real ears, Which aro drawn
j back and concealed under the hair.
Kaff“A celebrated wit was asked wby he
did not marry a young lady to whom lie
was so attached. ‘I know not,’ said he,
! ‘except the regard we have for each
I other.’
iriT Old Bachelor Sneer would like.
; to know what kind of a broom the lady
■ in the last novel used when she swept
back the raven ringlets from her classic
! brow.
US' An Arkansas editor has recently
, had a new shirt collar presented him,
alii lie is now waiting for some one to
! give him a shirt, so that lie may put the
, the collar to use ; at present it is a per
! fed superfluity.
WHUSome fellow, enamored of a young
i lad^ named Anna Bread, dropped the fol
• lowing from his pocket—we expect :
“While belles their lovely graces spread,
And fops around them flutter,
: I'll he content with Anna bread,
And not have any but her.”
Little Sallie was teaching her
younger brother the Lord's I’raycr. They
j Went on smoothly until they arrived at
I “give us our daily bread.” “No sissy—
' wc want cake.” And ho refused to pro
; ceed until the desired amendment Was
' made.
A temperance lecturer having aii
eye to business, a short time since, fiu
| ished his discourse thus : “And finally,
! my hearers, why should any ol you
drink ardent spirits? My son, Tom,
has got as good eider as any in the
country at sixpence a quart.”
Girls Hear This!—A Western pa
per says: “When you see a girl so lazy
I that she can’t sweep her own seYen-by
ninc chamber, and then gd?s to a shin
■ dy and dances all night with the power
of a locomotive, make up Your mind
she is “got up" on bud principles. The
j sooner you take your bat. and depart,
j the better. Such sort of calico has
! been the ruin of many a man,”
Ben,,.An exchange is responsible for the
following slanderous insinuation. India
! rubber lips—what next ? “Some of the
! ladies wear false lips, made of pink India
j rubber, which are attached to thin lips iu
a manner which defies detection, and
which gives a pretty pouting appearance
j to the month. If any one suspects that
. the lips of his lady friend ArC artificial, he
I can prove the fact hy the natural method.”
Stay- An old joke illustrates this arti
; He: “My friend, 6aid a seedy individ
j ual to an acquaintance at the ferry, “t
1 wish you would loan me two quarters
to cross the ferry; I hain’t got a dollar
in the world.”
“Well, I would like to know,” was
the reply, “what difference it makes to
a man who hasn’t got a dollar in the
| world, which side of the river he is
on?”
BSP J. B. was a stingy old creature,
eager for money, but he was a zealous
member of a church, and ostentatious
in his religidhs exercises :
“John,” said Catharine to her broth
er, “what could have made that stingy
old wretch a Christian ?”
“I can tell you,’’ said John, “he hns
read that Uie streets of Mew Jerusalem
| are paved With gold, and he is detcr
I mined to get there.”
A Postscript.—“I lore to look upon
a young man. There is a hidden poten
cy within his breast which charms and
pains me.”
The daughter of an old clergyman
J happening to find the ahovJ sentence
1 at the close Of her father's manuscript,
its III; uuu ic.iv li 111 in a biuuj, oai uuuu
and added :
J “Them's my sentiments exactly papa,
1 excepting the 'pains.' ”
A short time siuce tho following
appeared:
Why is beard like common sense?
Because no woman possesses it.
At which a lady correspondent “goes
for it" in the following manner:
Why is the author of the above like
a certain worn out instrument of mu
sic?
Because ho is an abandoned lyre—
(liar.)
V%-Punch illustrates “unbecoming lev
ity," by presenting a wood out of tho
scone in a church, wherein a crowd of
spectators are awaiting tho arrival of a
woddiug party. To the scone is append
ed this dialogue by way of glossary :
Fair Young Lady—I see somebody in
I the crowd outside waviug a handkerchief
II suppose the bride is approaching.
Light Yeung Man—Handkerchief?—
! White one ? By Jove, perhaps, it’s a re
prieve !
*9*Pcrsimmons says of his first sere
nade : “It was the witching hour of 1 A.
u., when church yards yawn. Every
thing was hushed, and stillness reigned
profound. I commenced to sing, 'I ^
I Bring a Little Flower to Thee.’ Sopliro
nia was hanging out of the window, and
it was through her solicitation that I en
deavored to warble this cussed piece; ‘I
Bring a Little Flower to Thee.’ Sophro
uia's pap stuck his head out of the win
dow, and in voice of thunder roared:
“Well, just set it on the door step, and
I don’t make so tnuch fuss about such A
< cussed little flower."