UPRISING OF THE BALD MAN
Aroused by Scoffers. He Discourses
Warmly Upon the Superiority
| of His Kind.
“I’m getting sick and tired of these
bald jests at niy expense,” announced
Billikins, as he settled himself back
in his chair near the window.
As he spoke the lights were reflect
ed brightly on his shiny pate. The
illuminations seemed more brilliant
because of his presence, relates the
Jjew York Sun.
“I can’t enter this club but that
smiling idiot, Smithby, comes up and
bays:
, “‘1 say, old man, you know what
'''the ruble hays about every hair in
your head being numbered? Then
yours must all be back numbers. 11a,
ha, ha!’
‘‘As soon as I come to after Kmitli
by’s brain-throb I go to the wash
room, where, like as not, 1 And
Jonesly. lie’s pretty sure to come up
with some worm-eaten bon about my
combing my hair with a towel.
“On my way upstairs 1 ’most al
ways meet Snodgrass. Snodgrass
has an ingrown smile, which he uses
on the good things that he keeps to
himself.
“ ‘Ah, Billikins,’ says Snodgrass. ‘I
thought you were coming this way.
You look so much alike that 1 can
never tell which way you re going
until I see your features.*
“You’ve all heard that juvenile bit
of pleasantry about the little boy
who wanted his hair eut like grand
pa’s—with a round hole in the mid
dle. That always brings me visions
of Timpson. He relieves himself of it
daily in the billiard room.
“Jackson isn’t so bad. He usually
puts some little mental pearl of this
sort on the market:
“ ‘Never mind what they tell you,
Billikins; just you bear in mind that
most great men are born bald.’ Jack
son has more sense than he knows of.
“As I said, though, I’m sick and
tired of it all, and now. that I've got
you all here, I’m going to state my
position clearly.
“I’m bald, and I’m glad of it. It’s
a sign of intellect and distinction to
be bald. Think of all the panhan
dlers, sandbaggers and cutthroats
that you know of. Ts there a bald
head among ’em? Most certainly
■ot.
i “On the other hand, consider the
{statesmen, lawyers, doctors and men
cVf learning you’ve seen. Every other
one on 'era’s a shiny top
Y'Look at the hairy men of ancient
tiines. They all ment wrong in some
wa\ or other. Esau sold his birth
r* *Y- for n mesB of pottage, and lh -
lilah t;»m?*aL-FiinU:0n all up in his
own hair. V
“But to come downx to modern
times. When 1 buy a sei\ in the the
ater do 1 get lost behindhedge of
pompadours and balcony pillars in
row Q?
“Not I. Mr. Ticket Feller gives one
glance at my naked thought dome,
sees that I’m eligible for the bald
headed row and knows 1 won’t be
Satisfied with anything else.
“Then again, I never have any
trouble about my hair falling out,
And from what i can see, ttu* iainm>
out of the hair causes most men
more worry than faliings-out with
their families.
“When I go to get shaved the bar
ber can't talk me into having a sham
poo when I don't want it. And ever
if the inclination were mine, which
thank heavens, it isn't, 1 couldn't
possibly go round with my head eov
ered with hair oil and smelling lik<
a musk factory."
As the bald-headed man paused i
moment to mop the perspiration thh
.Ji'snfvbegun to appear in the opei
space a'bove liis forehead his listen
ers started to hum softly:
An' here was no wool on rte top of his head
On de place whur de wool ought to be.
ETIQUETTE OF RIDING.
Some VointH \Vliloli Should lit* ( are^
fully Observed by Gentlemen
ou llorNebuck.
%
When a gentleman rides in the par]
or other public place, etiquette re
quires that he should approach a lad;
1 *~V on the off side or right side; and tha
in either meeting or passing, if sh
be alone, he should slacken his paci
to a walk, says the London Li\i
Stock. During a visit which Lor<
Chief Justice Demfian paid to Wal
mer castle three years before th
Duke of Wellington’s death, in a eon
versa!io«i about riding, the duke said
“Wttitn 1 meet a lady on horsebac!
J affways stop, and if her horse seem
troublesome, offer to ride alongsid
her in the Row until it is quiet. Th
other day 1 met a lady on a fresf
violent horse, so I took off my hui
and said: ‘Shall I ride with you? M,
horse is perfectly quiet.’ She kuei
me. for she replied: ‘No, your grace
1 think I can get on very well.’ Afte
she was gone 1 felt sure that it wa
Jenny Lind.” “We all agreed,” add
Lord Denman, “that the great singe
should have accepted the services o
the great duke, whether she wante
them or not.” When a gentleman ac
companies a lady on horseback, h
should ride on the right side, lioldin
his own bridle and whip in his righ
hand that he may be prepared to as
sist her with his left band, if neec
ful. Nothing is so rude as for a gcr
tleman to gallop past a lady on hors«
hack. A gentleman should never rid
between two ladies, unless at thei
request.
WHAT ELECTRICITY IS.
The Remit of Splitting ihe Mom* of
Elemenlar)' Sulmlanof* Into
Y*t Smaller Units.
What is electricity? This question
Is now answered by many scientific
men in a way that would have aston
ished the most advanced thinkers of
a score of years ago; and yet their
conclusions seein to be supported by
the latest experiments, expluins the
People’s Magazine. According to
them, electricity is purlely material,
and is the result of splitting the
atoms of elementary substances into
yet smaller units. An atomic chip,
or electron, is the unit of soealled
“negative electricity,” and what is
left of the atom is “positively
charged,” as we used to describe it.
The soealled “cathode rays” are jets
of electrons, and where these strike
a solid they produce the explosfve
ether waves that we know as Roent
gen rays. In certain atoms, as those of
iron, the free electrons circle about
the remainder of the atom, and this
constitutes the phenomenon of mag
netism. Those who hold these views
assert that they have thus discov
ered, isolated and even weighed the
electric substance, which may in
deed, prove to be the primordial sub
stance—the “protyle”—of the phil
osophers.
Internal 1’nrf. In Aetlon.
Internal parts of the living body in
action have been photographed by
Dr. P. II. Eykrnan. In investigat
ing the motion of the tongue, pharynx
and larynx in swallowing, he fixes
an electric contact on the Adam’s ap
ple, the movement of which closes
the current feeding the X-ray tube
at a perfectly definite moment dur
ing the motion. To get a distinct
photograph it is necessary to repeat
the motion 120 or 130 times. The po
sition of the contact is altered for
obtaining pictures of other phases
of the swallowing. Despite the diffi
culties of this curious experiment,
fairly good photographs have been
made, and they throw new light on
the. working of the organs of the
throat.
^ _
ELECTRIC FLY KILLER.
» __
It Cause* a Corrent to P««n Through
liie intectA* lto*diie« and la
^ stauitly Kill Them.
Nothing less than the electrocution
of flies is the end the inventor of the
device here shown seeks to attain.
The invention is designed especially
for use in stores, kitchens, dining
rooms, etc., and is arranged to lure
the insects to light on the apparatus
by providing suitable bait and then
to pass an electric current through
bodies to instantly electrocute them
This fly-killer consists of a frame
made of insulating material, either
wood or hard rubber, and having a
bait-holder midway between the top
and bottom of the row- of vertical
strips of metal which form the eleo
KILLS, FLIES BY ELECTRICITY.
trocuting apparatus. These metal
strips are connected alternately to
the positive and negative wires of an
electric circuit and it is obvious that
an insect alighting on the strips
must come in contact with both the
positive and negative strips at the
same instant, when the passage of
the current through its body accom
plishes the desired end.
Arrangement is made to suspend
the flying killer from the ceiling or
to place it on a table or counter and
as it carries no poison there is no
danger of the flies infecting groceries
or eatables if the apparatus fails to
vv.ork in every case. The inventor is
Edwin R. Greene, of Providence, R.
I.—Chicago Daily News.
Air Ship of n Spider.
A Texas spider weaves a balloon
four feet long and two feet wide,
which she fastens to a tree by a
single thread, then marches on
board with her half dozen little ones,
cuts the thread, and away goes the
air ship to some distant point on the
prairie.
| THE WORLD’S GOHL PRODUCTION, j
gaHG coni production and consumption of the world is the subject of a
jflNj monograph issued by the treasury bureau of statistics. The rapidity
P B) with which the production of coal has increased may be appreciated
when the present volume is considered and when we reflect in how recent
a time the production formed but a very small fraction of that quantity.
In 1901 the total coal production of the world was 866,165,000 tons. Until
as late a period as 1S83, the world’s production had never been half so
great, being only 450,990,000 tons in that year; and not until 1872 had the
world’s production been as much as a third as large as it is at present,
fly iset the world’s production was only 174.000,000 tons, or less than 23
per cent, of the p;rwlur.ii.on of 1901. The statistics for earlier periods can
not be determined with any accuracy; but on the basis of the. British
statistics from 1854, and of estimates for earlier periods, and from such
statistics as are obtainable from France, Germany, Belgium and Austria
1 lungary, an approximation may be made of the actual production. In
1860 the world’s production of coal was about 144,000,000, or less than one
fifth of the production of 1901, and less than the production of either
the United States or the United Kingdom at present. Ten years earlier
tl<e world’s production amounted to only about 83,000,000 tons, consider
ably less than the present output of the single state of Pennsylvania.
In 1840 the production was much smaller still, amounting to little over
45.000.000 tons, or about one-seventeenth of the present output; while
during the three-quarters of a century since 1820, when the output was
about 17,000,000 tons, the production has increased about 4,500 per cent.
The production of coal is chiefly in the hands of three nations, the
British, the American and the German. During the last 30 years, and
even earlier, the combined coal output of the United States, the United
Kingdom and Germany has averaged, year for year, about five-sixths of
the coal output of the world. Possessing but a tenth of the world’s pop
ulation, they have produced about 83 per cent, of the mineral fuel, while
■ "■■■■' ” - *.. 1 T7 77 S — '/J1
11
5 -
i MAP SHOWING COAL FIELDS IN UNITED STATE'.
> the remaining 90 per cent, of the world’s inhabitants have produced only
. about 17 per cent, of the coal. While the continued output of these thre<
countries has kept pace with the production of the rest of the world
i their relative position has been materially altered. In 1868 the Unitec
g Kingdom produced over three times as much its either the United States
B or Germany, the output of these countries being approximately 52, 14 ani
B 16 per cent, of the world’s production, respectively. In 1870 the proper
ticn was about the same, although the United States Itad gained upot
Germany as a coal producer. By 1875 the output of the United Kingdon
y was still considerably greater than the combined production of the Unitei
v States and Germany, the output of these three countries being 45, 20 am
• 18 per cent, of the world’s production, respectively. The next half de
i- cenuial period witnessed a remarkable increase in the American produc
s non, and a corresponding relative decrease in thut of Great Britain, th
s proportion of these countries being 36, 28 and 17 per cent., respectively
,. This increase was maintained during the latter part of the past century
f and in 1896 the output of Great Britain and Ireland was only 34 per cent
j that of the United Stutes already 30 per cent., and that of Germany 1
ptr cent, of the coal production of the world.
e In 1899, for the first time, the coal production of the United State
^ exceeded in quantity that of Great Britain. This superiority has bee
t maintained for two successive years. During 1901 the United States’ pre
. daction was greater than the amount of coal produced in Great Britai
. and all her colonies. During that year the shares of the leading cos
_ producing countries were as follows: United States. 34 per cent.; Unite
Kingdom, 28 per cent.; and Germany, 19 per cent. Nor is there any proi
e pect that the leading position of the United States may be lost in fava
r of another country within any calculable future time.
HELPS FOR HOUSEKEEPERS.
of Domestic Lore Gleaned
from Various Houneliold
Authorities.
To make French salad chop fine half
a dozen sprigs of parsley, half a small
onion and half a dozen anchovies. Have
some cold slices of boiled tongue; lay
these in a salad dish, put the chopped
mixture over it, and pour a 1' rench
dressing having in it some mustard,
over all, and serve.
Baked potatoes with cheese are rel
ished as a change. Select large pota
toes, scrub well and bake until done.
Cut them in half and scoop out without
breaking the skins. Mash and beat up
lightly with salt, pepper, a little cream
or milk and grated cheese. Fill the
skins and brown in the oven. These
are said to be very easily digested.
Cover a soiled white felt hat with
dour, let it remain in that condition
over night. Unless the case is an ex
treme one, the grime will go with the
flour when it is brushed off the next
morning.
A good way to purify the air of a sick
room in rainy weather is to pour a lit
tle oil of lavender into a cup of steam
ing hot water. This \fill also purify7
dining-room and halls of disagreeable
cooking odors.
For a meat souffle, grind fine any cold
meat that the house affords. To a cup
ful and a half of meat add a slice each
of cold boiled ham. and tongue and of
Bologna sausage. Mix with a cupful of
breadcrumbs and two cupfuls of white
sauce. For the sauce use a pint of
milk, two tablespoon fills of flour and
two tablespoonfuls of butter and salt
and pepper to taste. Stir into the
meat., crumbs and white sauce mixture,
the yolks of four eggs, and when it is
cool fold in the stiffly beaten whites.
Turn into a large ramekin or individ
ual ones and bake.
Drawn butter or cream sauce may be
made by melting a large heaping table
spoonfuls of butter and stir into it a
heaping teaspoonful of flour, let them
cook together without browning and
add by degrees a cup of hot milk.
HENRY’S EXPERIENCE.
He Wa* Very Iln slifnl a n«l Seeded E»
eoora|;enient In His Loee
Makinie.
Henry was a bashful lover. He
scarcely dared touch his lady’s hand.
He loved her well, and she was
worthy of his affection, for she was
modest, intelligent, sweet, and hon
orable; but, like all good women, she
yearned for the respectful caresses
that are the evidences of a pure af
fection, relates the Chicago Journal.
She, however, yearned in vain.
Henry worshiped her. He might
kiss the hem of her garment, but to
kiss her lips or cheek—the very au
dacity of the thought made him trem
ble.
They sat together by the southern
sea, looking out on the track of the
moon’s light, which white-winged
yachts were crossing now and then.
It was a witching hour—a scene
for love and calm delight.
Suddenly she moved slightly away
from him.
“Please, Henry, don’t do that,” she
said.
“What?” he asked, in genuine sur
prise.
“Oh, you needn’t ask me!” she re
plied. “You were just going to put
your arm round my waist-—and you
were going to try' to kiss me.”
“Dear Lillie—”
“Oh, you needn’t tell me different;
you were going to do it. Well, after
all, I suppose yrou are not to blame.
It is just what a lover would do to his
sweetheart, and I suppose I must not
be offended if you do it.”
And Henry grasped the situation
and did exactly what Lillie supposed
he would do; and the moon grinned,
and the stars winked, and the wave
lets laughed, and a wasp that was
about to alight on the maiden’s cheek
flew away and settled on the nose of
an old maid who,was sitting near the
band-stand.
fitnsrer Apple*.
Ginger apples are almost as good as
ginger pears. A recipe that is well rec
ommended requires two pounds of
quartered apples (skins and cores re
moved, of course), which have lain in
the sun for about ten hours to harden
a little. Boil two pounds of sugar with
one and a half pints of water and one
ounce of ginger root, until it makes a
rich sirup. Skim out the ginger, put in
the apples and cook gently until trans
parent. Skim the fruit into cans, boil
down the sirup until it will about till
them, fill up and seal as if canned fruit.
—Detroit Free Press.
Iilnlinn Cheese.
Mix with nearly half a pound of
pounded loaf sugar, the juice of three
1 lemons, two tablespoonfuls of white
j wine and a quart of cream; beat it
with a whisk till quite thick, which
1 may be in half an hour; put a bit of
muslin into a hair sieve, and pour in
the cream. In 12 hours turn it out,
1 and garnish it with flowers. It may
| be put into a tin shape, with holes In
J it.—Boston Budget.
Strenuous.
Ascum—Gussie's quite a society
* man, isn’t he?
’ Newitt—Yes, but he prefers to be
* known as an athlete.
’ “I didn’t know he was athletic.’’
* “0! my, exceedingly so. He plays
ping-pong, you know.”—Philadelphia
1 Press. _
. !*ew York Muffins.
i Sift together three cupfuls of flour
1 two teaspoonfuls of baking powdei
i ami a pinch of salt. Add the yolks ol
* three eggs well beaten, one pint o1
r milk, aud Lastly the whipped whites o]
the eggs.—Good Housekeeping.
Eupion Oil
When buying illuminating'
oil insist on having Eupion, the
family safety. This is a double
distilled process oil that is
odorless and absolutely safe.
If you will use clean burners
and wicks and Eupion Oil you
will have best light obtainable.
The only merchants in Newport
that sell this high-grade oil are
Wolff-Goldman Merc. Co., W.
B. Chastain, Wilmans Bros.,R.
D. Wilmans, Heiliger’s Union
Market Co., Martin Bros., Har
ris & Daugherty L. G. DaVaul
and O. M. Bowen.
Waters-Pierce Oil Comp’y
m—mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm—mmrn L. . .-g? t
The NEWPORT
LAUNDRY
COMPANY.....
Has the Largest Plant in
Arkansas.
Equipped with Latest Improved
Machinery.
Uses Filtered and Condensed
Water and Positively Guar
antees all work.
Give Us A Trial.
We Will Please You. Prompt
Service and Special Work
Every Da}r.
Out of Town agents wanted.
NEWPORT LAUNDRY CO.
M. K. Upshaw, Mgr.
JACK HERRON.
Back again in Newport and
Prepared to do all kinds ot
Brick Work.
Repair Work Promptly
Attended To.
Have Your
Clothes Made,
Cleaned, Pressed
and Repaired
-BY
Arthur Hunly
The Tailor on Front Street.
1 —
Al Good Route
to Try
It traverses a territory rich in
undeveloped resources; a territory
containing unlimited possibilities for
agriculture, horticulture, stock rais
ing, mining and manufacturing. And
last, but not least, it is
The Scenic Route
for Tourists.
The Frisco System now offers the
traveling public excellent service and
fast time—
Between St. Louis and Kansas
City and points in Missouri, Kansas,
Arkansas, Oklahoma, Indian Terri
tory, Texas and the Sou^hwest.^^
Between Kansas City v^sissippi,
in Tennessee, Alabama, Mn|-he
Georgia, Florida and the SouA,
Between Birmingham and Me
phis and points in Kansas, Arkansas,
Oklahoma, Indian Territory, Texas
and the West and Southwest.
Full information as to route and
rates cheerfully furnished upon appli
cation to any representative of the
Company, or to
Passenger Traffic Department,
Commercial Building,
Saint Louis. ^
WHEN GOING
EAST • WEST • NORTH ■ SOUTH
TAttE THE OLD RELIABLE
I
ONLY LINE WITH DOUBLE 9AILV
THROUGH SERVICE
TO HOT SPRINGS^
^NO CHANGE.
BONNECTION MADE AT BALD KNOB
FOR MEMPHIS.
UNSURPASSED SERVICE^ _
^ FAST TIME
DIRECT CONNECTION MADE AT ST.
LOUIS ANDTEXARKANA WITH LINES
DIVERGING.
FOR INFORMATION CALL ON OR
ADDRESS
WM. M. GREGG, Agent,
NEWPORT. ARK.
H. C. Townsend, G. P. A.,
ST. LOUIS, MO.
_ _
THE BANK OF NEWPORT
CAPITAL $50,000
surplus, $25,000.
OFFICERS AND DIRECTORS.
G. W. Decker, President. A. D. Bailey, Vice-President.
R. M. Johnson, Cashier. T. D. Kinman, Ass’t. Cashier.
V. Y. Cook, Thos. J. Graham, a. E. Shofener
Jno. T. Flynn, J. W. Grubbs, Jos. M. Stayton.
--
njnr EYDPRIPNPP Is an important factor in successful banking. With all
nllL LAlLniL I1UL (jue sense of modesty, we venture to direct your at
tention to a brief review of the long business career of the men who compose
our Board of Directors and Officers.
rnilRTPPM YPARC Experience in the affairs of Banking in this community
•UUni LLli ILnUd enables us to measure and meet the needs of our cus
tomers. We solicit your account, and promise proper help in time of need.
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