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^'c..cr,:„r'- *' “• volume a_DEB arc, arkan sab, November 3, 1868._number 38.1^.^:.^., =»,
III! I
The Force of Imagination.
Late one evening a couple of Irish
men stopped at a country iuu and ask
ed for lodgings. The porter escorted
them to the door of their room, bul
just as the travelers entered it the can
dle was extinguished by the wiud from
the door as it closed behind them. The
porter had already returned to the bar
room, and, after vainly gropiug on the
mantle piece in search of matches, the
travelers resolved to go to bed in the
dark. In the iniddlo of the night one
of them awoke, and after shaking his
comrade to arouse him. said:
“Terrence, I’m as awake as a vaccin
ated kitten, for want of air. Get up
and open the window. The room is ns
close as a patent coffin, and I’ll die if
you don’t get me air.” -
Terrence arose, groped around the
room for a few minutes, and then said :
“I’ve found the window, but bad luck
to me if I can budge it. I can't move
It either up or down.”
Then knock a conple of panes out
wid yer shoe, and we’el pay for them
in the morning,” said the sick man.
Terrence did as directed. After two
•crashes were heard by the man in oed
he seemed to recover, for he remarked :
“Oh, that fresh air is invigorating. I
feel better already. Out wid a couple
more panes, glass is cheap, and the
landlord won’t be angry whin we’re
willing to pay for thim.”
Terrence’s stout brogan soon shatter
ed the remaining panes, and the weak
man recovered his exhausted strength
so soon thereafter that in ten minutes
more he was enjoying his slumbers,
undisturbed by the snores of bis com
panion, who had nlso expressed him
self refreshed by the current of fresh
_ T .. _ .1_•<. J .1 .. ... -t. » 1. _ I_1._
Considerable time elapsed, and at
length the traveler awoke. For thirty
minutes they lay in bed conversing,
wondering why they coujd not sleep.
•‘Surely it must be near mornin,” for
I don't feel a bit sleepy,” said Ter
rence.
•■Mornin!” echoed the other. "By,
the morthial. but it appears to me that
it’s perpetual night in this part iv the |
world.”
In \ few minutes more they hearda
knock at the door, and the travelers
asked what was wanted.
“It's 12 o'clock,” answered the por
ter, opening the door, and entering the
room with a candle in his hand—
•‘Aren't you going lo get up at all ?”
“Only 12 o’clock!” exclaimed Ter*
retire. Why, l thought it'must beat
least 5. What d'ye mean by rousing us
in the middle of the night? Do tho
people in these parts get tip at mid
night?”
“Xo, but they got up at breakfast
time.”
“Thin why didn't ye watt until
breakfast time before ye disturbed us?
“Becauso it's hours after breakfast
time now—in fact, it’s just the dinner
hour.”
“Get out or I'll throw mo brogaus at
ye. What a barefaced liar ye must bo
to say it's dinner time before it’s day
light. The candle in yerhand makes a
liar of ye 1”
“Ho! ha! ha!" and tho porter chuck
led with the exuberance of delight. Xo
wonder ye think it isn’t daylight, for
there’s no window in this room to let
lu light.”
“Thin what did I break last night?”
Terrence asked, looking around the
room iu astonishment. His eye at last
alighted on the bookcase, the glass
doors of which presented a dilapidated
appearance. Be the powers, Jerry,” he
added, addressing his comrade, “whin
I thought I was smashin’ the windy, I
was only breakin tho glass in the book
case. But it did yo a power iv good
Jerry, for ye sed ye felt the fresh air
revivin ye.”
What Break* Down Young Ben.
It is a commonly received notion
that hard study is the unhealthy ele
ment of college life. But from tables
of the mortality of Havard University
collected by Professor Pierce from the
last triennial catalogue, "it is clearly
demonstrated that the excess of deaths
for the first ten years after graduation
is found in that portion of each class
inferior in scholar-ship. Every one
who has seen the curriculum know*
that where jEschylus and political
economy injures one, lato hours and
rum punches use up a dozen ; and that
the two little fingers are heavier than
the loius of Euclid. Dissipation is a
swift and sure destroyer, and every
young man who follows it is, as the
early flower, exposed to untimely frost.
Those who have been inveigled in the
path of vice are named “LegiolC’ for
they are many—enough to convince
every novitiate that he lias no security
that he shall escape a similar fate. A
few liou -8 of sleep each night high liv
ing, and plenty of “smashes,” make
war upon every function of the human
body. The brains, the heart, the lungs,
the liver, the spine, the limbs, the
bones, the flesh, every part and faculty,
aro over-tasked, worn and weakened,
by the terrific energy of passion loosed
from restraint, until, like a dilapidated
mansion, the “oarthly house of this
tabcrnaclo” falls into ruinous decay.
Fast joung man rightabout!
A Linguist.—A Hartford paper says
that a member elect ot the Conneticut
Legislature is ‘Short, fat, red-headed
and sjieaks several languages, among
wMnh hi profsno. with great fluency.'
The Latest Seaaatloa la Rome.
A correspondent of the Pall Mall Ga
telte sprites: “Nothing Is now talked
of at Rome but the new Saint, Marla
Taiga, a washerwoman in the service
of the Chigi family, who died here In
1837, iu the odor of sanctity. A great
sensation has been created by her
prophesies, which were confided to her
confessor, Father Natili, now 90 years
of age, who has faithfully related them
as tho events successively happened.
The proofs of her present residence In
Heaven are incontestible, though her
body is still on earth, having Just been
exhumed IVom the catacomb of the
Church of St. Chrysogen in Trastcvere.
The corpse was found perfectly fresh
and flexible, and is now exposed in the
chapel ardents, raised at the expense of
Princess Barberinl, in the aforesaid
church, where every body in Rome,
with the exception of myself, has kissed
its feet.
“The exhumation was ordered on the
demand of the Postulator for the can
uonizafion, on his adduciug the proofs
of her beatitude, which state, among
other wonders, that her image was sent
to the capitol last October, with an in
timation that the buildlug was threat
ened by a great danger, which nothing
but the palladium could avert. The
next day brought the insurrectionary
attack, at the time supposed to hare
been repulsed by the troops, but now
admitted to have been foiled by the
miraculous image. The Marquis Ca
valetti. Senator of Rome, is determined
to commemorate this event in a becom
ing manner, the capitol being under
his care; and lie has ordered it to be
represented iu a picture, which will be
placed iu one of the galleries. The
other day the confessor was asked I
whether Maria Taigi prophesied any i
further danger from the Garibaldians.
‘Yes,’ he answered, ‘and in those days
we shall see the Tiber as full of corpses
as it uow is of tisln’ At this moment
fish aro so abundant in the Tiber,
owing to the floods from Umbria, that
the Ilomans pick them out of the water
with their hands.’ ”
Who Wouldn't be an Editor?—
Editing a paper, says the Church Un
ion, is a pleasant business.
11 it contains too much reading mat
ter people won’t take it.
If the type is too large, it don’t con
tain enough reading matter.
If the type is too small the people
won’t read it.
If we publish telegraphic reports,
people suy they are all liea.
If we omit thenij people say we have
no enterprise, or suppress them for
political effect.
If we have a few jokes, the people
say we are a rattle-bead.
If we omit them, they say we are
old fossils.
If wo publish original matter, they
condemn us for not giving selections.
If we publish selections, they say we
arc lazy for not writing more, and giv
ing them what they have read in some
other paper.
If wc give a man a complimentary
notice, they censure us for beiug
partial.
If we remain in the offlee and attend
to business, foiks say we are too proud
to mingle witli our fellows.
If we do not they say we never at
tend to business.
If we publish poetry, wo affect sen
timentalism.
If we do not, we have no literary
polish or taste.
Best Radical SueecU.
Governor Oglesby, of Illinois, made
a characteristic speech at Jerseyville a
few days since. It is the most radical,
and therefore the best radical speech
yet made in the cauvass. Wo give s
simple extract. He said:
“There was not a decent man in the
Democratic party. That not one Demo
crat in three hundred paid his tax to
the government. That Democrats are
all rebels ; and the Union soldiers now
working with the Democratic party
are as much rebels as were the Con
federate soldiers. That Democrats
were more ignorant than negroes.
That he and the radical party were
in favor of taxing everything, “from a
donkey down to a Democrat.” That
he was opposed to taxing bonds, and
in favor of paying them in gold. That
he was in favor of negro suffrage evey
1 where, and in favor of the most com
i plete equality of races. That the war
! ended too soon ; that it should have
continued until negro equality waa
| established beyond any question.
' That he was in favor of more war, if
necessary to establish the great prinel
j pies of the republican party. That the
Democrats uever should again have
any control of the government. That
the laboring man paid comparatively
no taxes; that the poor, miserable,
stiuking scabs of society were making
a great fuss about heavy taxes, when
they did’nt know when they were well
off. That it was the republican party
that put down the rebellion ; and that,
if Democrats did not cease finding fault
with the taxes and bond-holders, they
would be quieted at the point of the
bayonet."
•firWho were the first Kn-K1ax?
j The patriots who disguised themselves
as Indians to throw the tea into Boa
^ ton harbor.
‘‘MTHow is the market, neighbor ?"
, “Very quiet.” “Auything doing In
cheese ?" "Kot s mite "
From tho Volkafreuod, Bop Umber l]
Who are tha KopablicaM
Every one who haa been agitating
•loco the surrender of the Southern
army, and, with visor down, has been
howling "peace” while he meant strife,
is a Republican.
Every soldier who, having been edu
cated and maintained at the expense of
the people, and having participated In
the war, or part thereof, for the resto
ration of a disrupted Union, now, from 1
personal reasons, follows tha bread
and-butter and carpet-bag brigade, In
order to maintain disunion, is a Re
publican. .
The majority of the Rump Congress
at Washington is Republican.
Every Northern man who during the
bloody contest hid himself in his snug
gery, or if in the field, kept the bag
gage and the sutler company in the
rear, is a Republican.
Every General, or other officer, wht>
rendered services only on paper, is a
Republican
Every man who can find it in his
heart to sanction the judicial murder
perpetrated on a Septegenarian woman
Mrs. Surratt—is a Republican.
Every draft rioter, draft aneak and
bounty-jumper, every coward during
the war, was a Republican.
All those who want to place the be- 1
sotted negro above the white man in
the South are Republicans.
Ail those who assisted in squander- ■
iug the fifteen hundred trillions of '
dollars which the people had paid, '
since June, 1865, are Republicans.
All the members of the Grand Army
of the Republic, who follow the banner '
Then there lean overwhelming num
bcr of Republicans who are opposed to 1
negro suffrage in the Jtorth.
But all those who forced negro suf
frage upon the South by force of arms
and par ordru du mufti, are Repub]i- 1
cans. ' I
All thoso who defended and sup- '
ported the stealing of the public money 1
are Republicans. 1
All those who vaunt of their loyalty '
as an excuse for thoir corruption, prof
ligacy and maladministration, are Re- 1
publicans.
All those who cried : "A thousand
dollars fora substitute to carry ou this
war, provided I don't have to go my- ‘
self,” are Republicans. 1
All those who seek to Insult the for- 1
mer soldiers of the Union army by ]
claiming that under Radical rule the 1
Union was not a failure, arc Republi- 1
cans.
All who add new fuel to the yet "
smoldering embers of a burnt-out
South, are Republicans.
All thoso who favor starving and ex
terminating the whites in the South,
are Republicans.
All those who do not ponisb the (
outrages perpetrated by negroes upon
white women, even when in child-bed, (
or the murders committed on white (
men, are Republicans. '
All the officers who were dismissed (
from the army for cowardice or dis
honesty, are Repufeltaans.
IFA1I who looked upon the Union sol
diers as merely so muoh food for can
uon are Republicans.
All who refuse to recognize green
backs, made a legal tender by Lincoln’s (
Congress, as lawful money to redeem
the five-twenty bonds, which are most
ly in the hands of shoddies, are Repub
licans.
Ail those who do not believe that '
the bayonets of the Rump Congress, in
the South, are not carried for the pur- ‘
pose of committing cold-blooded mur
der, are Republicans.
All those who assert that, under the ,
present Radical rulo, the Republic is ^
not in danger of •destruction, are eelilih (
Republicane.
All tboie who formerly did end do
now consider courts-martial Superior
to the Courts established under the
Constitution, ere Republicans.
All those who muzzled the press, |
and suppressed freedom ftf speech by (
the aid of Bastilea, are Republicans.
All impenchers are Republicans.
Bingham, the murderer of an aged {
female, is a Republican.
Butler, the spoouist, it e Republican.
Yates, the sot, is a Republican.
Grant, tho botcher of forty thousand
soldiers in the Wilderness, elairas jto
be a Republican.
Stanton, the murderer by defenlt of 1
exchange of our aoldiere in Southern ^
prisons, is a Republican.
Then there are still other bandits j
unhung who are Republicans.
Thz Family a w»r ar*a--Dr. Frank
lin remarks that a man. as often gets
two dollars for the oae he spends in
informing his mind, as he does for e 1
dollar bn lays oat in any ether way.
A man eats a poand of sugar and .it is
gone, and tha pleasure he has enjoyed
is ended, but the information he gets ,
from a newspaper is treeeured ap to be
enjoyed anew, and to be need whenev
er occasion or inclination call for it.
A newspaper ie not the wisdom of one ..
roan or two men ; it is the wiedom of
the ege, and of paat age* too. A* Ami-1
ly without a newspaper is always a
year behind tha times, in generel.in
forraetion; besides they can naver
think much nor And mneh to talk
about. And then there ere the little
one* growing ap without any tpsta for ,
reading. Who, then, would be with
out e newspaper—and who Would read |
ona regularly wlthemt paying for ft ? '
. Af GaMance la Llteratarc.
Thera la perhaps do one, to whom
the intercourse with books has grown
to be happy and habitual, who cannot
recall the time when, needing other
fcounse! than his own mind could give,
be felt some guidance that was strength
to him. One call recall, in after years,
how It was that an interest was first
awakened in soma book—'how sympa
thy with an author’s mind was earliest
stirred—how sentiments of admiration
and of lore had their first motion in
our tout* toward the souls of the great
poets. We may perhaps remember,
too, how the chastening influence of
wise and genial criticism may have
won oor spirits away from some ma
lignant fascination that fastened on the
unripe intellect only to abuse it. But
these kindly and bcalthfnl agencies ex
ist not alone in the memory—grateful
ly retained as benefits received in the
period ot intellectual immaturity and
nexperience. Even the student of
iterature whose range of reading is
Yiost comprehensive—whose habit of
■eading is most confirmed—wltose cul
:uro is most complete—will tell you
bat it is still in his daily experience
:o find bis choice of books not an arbi
rary and lawless choosing, but a pro
test open to the Influences of sound
tnd congenial criticism; he will tell
low, bv such influences, the activity
if.his thoughts is quickened—how his
udgraent of books is often .the joint
iroduct of his own reflections, and the
tonlact of the wisdom and experience
>f others. To him who wanders at
vill through the vast spaces of litera
urc, with the sorry guidance of good
iitontions and experience, most need
id arc the helping hand and the point
ng finger;-to him who has traveled
ong in that snme domain, pursuing his
vay with purposes bettor defined, and
tiiu linn finiucu u n mui pi unti
arther-reaching views—even by*him,
'uidancc. if not, so needful, still may
>e welcomed from some fellow-trav
iler. We marvel ofieu at finding how,
indcr the light of wise criticism, new
lowers and new beauties are made
risible to our minds in books the most
ami liar.—Reed’s English Literature.
Arithmetical Curiosity.
Ask a friend to write three numbers,
onsisting of the same number of fig
ires, no matter how many, one under
he other; tell him you will add two
lumbers to them, and that you will
nform him how much the amount will
ie when added, as soon as he will
vrito his first number. For example
■our friend writes 872G8 ; youimmedi
telv announce that the sum of five
lumbers will be 2S72GG, no matter
rhat he may put down for his second
nd third numbers. Suppose him to
rritc for the secoud and third lines
3521 and 53198; you will write under
hem 5G47S and 53198, and on adding
rill find the amount previously given
o be correct. Of course you must
now what to take for the fourth and
ifth numbers. These may always be
ound at once, by substracting the fig
ires of tho second and third lines from
he number nine, and setting down the
emainder. The answer yon can find
rom the first line of figures only, in
his wav: place the figure 2 before the
irst line, and subtract it from the last
Igurc of the line. Bv placing the
umbers given above in the form of a
urn in addition, the whole working
nay be readily seen. Practico well so
hat you may go through the operation
rithout hesitation before exhibiting,
nd those unacquainted with the secret
rill bo surprised at the result.
•9*Xot long since, a green-looking
'ermonter walked Into the office of
)n.C. T. Jackson, the chemist, of Bos
on.
“Dr. Jackson. I nresume?” said he.
“Ye», sir.”
“Are you alone?"
“Yes, lir."
“May 1 lock the dobr?" and he did
o, and having looked behind the sofa
md satisfied himself that no one else
vas in the room, he placed a large bun
lie done up in a yellow bandauna on
be table and opened It.
“There, doctor, look at that.”
“Well,” said the doctor. “I Bee it.”
“What do you call that, Doctor?”
“I call it iron pyrites."
“What I” said the man, is'ut that stuff
fold ?”
“No,” said the Doctor, ‘it’s good for
lothing ; it!s pyritesand putting |
lome over the fire in a shovel it!
evaporated up the chimney.
“Wal,” said the poor fallow with a i
voe begone look.. “There's a widder
roman up in our town who has a
vhoie hill full of that, aud I’ve been
nid married her.”
■0»A 'Paris paper tells a funny story
ibout the Siamese twins. It is to the
•fftet that they lived together in great
tappiness until the war broke out,
vheu ' Change declared himself a
Jniodist, Eng a Secessionist, and the
fuarels between them became go vio
ent that the twins were at one time on
he pWnt of fighting a duel. And that
s supposed to be the reason of their
lesire to find a surgeon with nerve and
ikill enough to dissolve partnership
>etween them.
An elegant versifier, who wrote
:• his charmer, “I agree wilfi you
'ully. my fairest,” waa a little disturbed
:o see hit line prluted. “I agree with
rouimll^, my Thlrest.”
iHh Bllllag’a Leileoa.
Law— A aword in it* scabbard.
Flattery—Holding a man by the
hotton-hold with one hand, and pin
ning a placard to hi* coat tall with the
other.
Promises—Eggs with a thin shell on
purples tew be bust.
Conscience—Heaven,* right ov way
through the soul ov man.
Innocence—The pet lamb that stray
ed away oph, years ago, from the rest
ov the flock, and haint bin heard ov
since.
Philosophy—The religion ov the
brains.
Pedigree—There iz jistaz match vir
tew in a pedigree az thare is in hAnding
dowu, from father to son, 10 thousand
dollars in Continental money.
Death—A square deal.
Boarding houses—Asylums for sour
bread, vagrant hash and homeless cock
roaches.
Money—The root ov all evil to those
who spend their lives rooting for it.
Toper—A poor unfortunate devil
with only one throat.
Superfluity—A kat with six tails tew
watch.
Resolution—The gang plank off suc
cess.
Despair—The anchor of phools.
Lies—The devil’s ointment with
which lie greases the snake's belly.
Locality—Memory's pincushion.
Chastity—A ciirvstal pailass with a
queen in it.
Nose—The snubbing post of the
boddy.
Infants—Angels’ visits, not always
few nor far between.
Dispepsv—Nitemare in the stum
muck.
Beauty—A blank cartridge.
Oaths—Sin in italicks.
I ^ I/I \T«l t #1 a_TTlnKona mliinVi tl,n
sparks hare lied.
Equivocation—Dancing on a titc
rope between two lies in presence of
truth.
Error—The crook in a pig’s tail,
hard tew git out.
Honor—A sight draft on integrity.
Legacy—A charity dated ahead.
A Letter from Hark Twain.
Judge Charles F. Cady hands us the
following characteristic epistle, re
ceived lately from the lively Mark
Twain: I
No. 14fi Asylum Street,)
Hartford, October 5. j !
Dear Judge—I am just stnrtingaway j
on a trip up the mountains, and I i
snatch a moment to apologize to you
and Hodnett for my lapse of duty.
You see I couldn’t do it. I have been
on the wing ever since 1 left you—and ;
am at it yet. Tell II. I am on the war
path. I am going after the person who
sent me this diabolical “Question in
Moral Science,” ns he calls it, to be elu
cidated by me. Moral science is my
best hold, generally, but the interroga
tory is too many for me. I have not
solved it, quite, but I suppose I could
have done it if I had remained in my
right mind. You try it awhile. Y'ou
are healthy.
“QUESTION IN MORAL SCIENCE.-’
“If a man were to signify however,
which he was not if he had the power,
which being denied him he will en
deavor anyhow, merely because he
don't, would you ?”
It mixes me, beyond expression. Be
cause sometimes I think he is, and
sometimes I think he would, une then
ngain I think he don’t. Other times I
think he dasn't, Just occasionally I
think he did, blit then I am not certain.
Iudeed, I am not certain on any count
in this indictment—if it be an indict
ment ; and since it isn’t like anything
else I can think of, it must be an in
dictment. Bring the powers of the
legal mind to bear upon it.
You treated me so hospitably when
I was in St. Louis, and did it with
»«vn i* ^«nvv nuu ohvii a mm n rjuiii,
withal, that it give me genuine pleasure
to be able to make this well meant re
turn for it, iu the way of affording you
a little intellectual recreation that will
stay with you—that may be regarded
as permanent—that will last as long as
you do, Judge.
Your fellow-suffer,
Mark Twain.
-- ■» • »
An Unspotted Character.—Money
is a good thing, especially iu these
hard times, but there is something a
thousand times more valuable. It is a
character—the consciousness of a pure
and honorable life. This should be a
man's first aim to preserve at any cost.
Iu times of commercial distress, while
some are proved and found wanting,
others come forth tried as by tire.
Here one comes out of the furnace far
more of a man than before. Amid the
wreck of his fortune he stands erect—
a noble specimen of true manhood.
We have occasionally witnessed an ex
ample of courage in such a crisis, of
moral intrepidity that deserved all
honor.
Let It be the aim of every business
man, above all things else, to keep this
purity sustained. This is the best pos
session—this is the capital which can
never be taken from him—this is the
inheritance which he can leavo his chil
dren.
«&-Uaid upon proflsiiltv—during the
late freshet iu Maryland, dam after dam
was swept away.
J9»Forney calls the carpet-baggers
“apostles.’' Does he mean to say Paul
was a carpet-bagger? He was think
iug about Damas-cus.
Good Advice to VoHf Men.
Keep good company or none. Nev
er be idle. If your hands cannot be
usefully employed attend .to the culti
vation of your mind. Always speak
the truth. Make few promises.—
Keep your own secrets if yon naw any.
When you speak to a person, look him
in the face. Good company and con
versation are the very sinews of virtue.
Good character is above all things else.
Your character cannot be essentially
injured except by your own acts. If
any one speaks evil of you, let your
life be so that none will believe him.
Drink no kind of intoxicating liquors.
Ever live (misfortune excepted) within
your income. When you retire to bed,
think over what you have been doing
during the day. Make no haste to be
rich, if you would prosper. Small and
steady gains give competency, with
tranquility of mind. Never play at any
game of chance. Avoid temptation
through fear you may withstaud it.
Earn money before you spend it. Nev
er run in debt unless you sec a chance
to get out again. Never borrow if you
can possibly avoid it. Do not marry
until you are able to support a wife.
Never speak evil of any one. Be just
before^ you are generous. Keep your
self iiuioccut if you would be happy.
Earn money while you are young to
spend when you are old. Never go
where you are not wanted. Read over
the above at least once a week.
In E.ove.
I've been iu love some fifty times—
perhaps with sixty minxes—from ladies
like mermaids, to ladies like sphinxes.
And some of them had soft blue eyes
which turned tnv head witli wonder,
whilst others were so piercing black
they rent my heart asunder. Some
wore as fair as lilies white, some red as
plump tomatoes, some were as soft as
July shade; some, too, like sweet po*
latoes ; some lisped and spoke of “days
gone by,” love-letters without number
—-some sighed and in my arms they
fell—but it was not to 6lumber. Some
had cheeks like new washed sheets,
and some as rod as rose* ; luscious lips,
like cherries ripe, and some had cherry
noses! Some had fine forms from
Venus' mold, and some turned from
tub to barrel; some softly squeezed my
cither hand, whilst others tried to
quarrel. Hut I have cast them all
away, and would as many more, and
scatter them on either side, like sea
weed on the shore. For they have of
ten made mo think of pistols, rivers,
halters! And I have thought to kill
myself for men's confounded daugh
ters! And still I am a bachelor, now
living snug and qtfiet, except when
with my cats and dogs 1 have a thun
dering riot; I think no more offender
sighs, nor make myself look thinner,
but all my love and sentiment I lavish
on my dinner.
SurprlNe Parties.
What are now called surprise parties
became quite fashionable in England
about the year 1800, when they were
called “pic-nic suppers.” The bill of
fare was prepared, eaoh dish being
numbered, and the subscribers to the
entertaiuiuent drew lots, and each re
quired to furnish the dish marked
against the number he drew. This may
be useful as a hint to persons getting
up surprise parties, which, by the way,
are the most sensible species of enter
tainment now in vogue, because the
entertainer is required to furnish only
the parlors, and is put to no trouble to
prepare for the guests, whilo the visit
ors furnish their own supper and mu
sic, aud thus equalize expenses. In
that way the people who live in a
pleasant house, but who cannot afford
to prepare an entertainment entirely at
their own cost, may still receive their
friends occasionally and enjoy a social
ansi fouial nvnnintr
MrWhile laborers were demolish
ing an old building on Twenty-seventh
street, NewVork,on the6thinst., they
discovered iu an old rat's nest a roll of
bills, amounting to $250. About eight
years ago one of the occupants of the
house lost the money. At the time of
this loss a young man named William
Cummings, clerk in a dowu town tea
store, was boarding at the house, and
as he was the last one seen in the room
prior to the loss, was suspected of the
robbery, and on being arrested, was
convicted of the crime and sent to
prison, with character ruined and
bereft of friends. He gave way to
dissipation, and eventually died on
Blackwell Island.
Mr An admirable institution is the
sleeping car, though the bedrooms are
rather brief, especially when occupied
by lengthy people, such as arc grown
iu Kentucky. A Cincinnati correspon
dent, returning recently from the
East, was about to tile himself away in
one of the railway pigeon-holes, when
tfie somnolent passengers were aroused
by the voice of a huge Kentuckian
who, holding up a pillow between his
thumb and huger, roared out to the
attendant:
"1 say, you boy, come back and take
this away i"
“Wha’ for sah ?”
‘‘Because I'm afraid the darned thing
will get into my ear.”
tgriiev. Henry Ward Beecheris an
nounced as a candidate for the United
Sides Senate iu case the Radicals have
a majority in the next New York
Legislature.
SALMAGUNDI.
*^*“Yon be darned I” u the forlorn
bachelor Mid when he poked hi* foot
through the end of hie stocking.
Wit Is the fashion now to say that
a man a little the worse for liquor is on
a ‘Grecian Bend,’
Fantadling says the first
time she locked arms .with a young
man, she felt like Hope leaning on her
anchor. Poetic young woman, that.
WA Nashville editor has discov
ered the origin of scalawags.' tn a
dream he was transported to where
things were made, and in one room
they were making dogs, and the spoil
ed dogs were turned over to the
apprentices to practice on, and they
made scalawags of them.
Tbs Three Degrees or Comparison.
—A gentleman remarked that-, who
used to be given to sharp practice was
getting more circumspect. “Yes re
plied Judge Hoar, of Hass: “he has
reached the superlative of life—he be
gan by seeking to get on, then he
sought to get honor, and now be is
trying to get honest.”
g9*The Supreme Court of Michigan
has ordered a mandamus to be issued,
commanding the Regents of the State
University to show cause why they do
not obey the provisions of the act of
1866, which established a chair of
homeopathy in the medical depart
ments. The Regents refuse to carry
out the law on the ground that the
Legislature has not the power.to regu
late the management of the University.
The SrooN Thiev.—The Cincinnati
Commercial, a radical paper says :
“Alex. H. Stephens’ door plate is on
exhibition at Boston. Other interest
ing relics can be seen at General But
ler’s Lowell residence.’’
rebels, by stealing all he could lay his
hands on for his own private benefit,
and then charging the government for
his services.
jQTThe best of all companions is a
simple, frank man, without any preteir*
tions to any oppressive greatness ; one
who understands life, and understands
the use of it; obliging alike at all hours;
above all, of a good temper, and stead*
fast as an anchor. For such a one we
would gladly exchange the greatest
genius, the most brilliant wit, the pro
foundest thinker.
The Bond question is reduced to
a science by a circus clown, thus:i
The people have got to get up at 5-20
uud work until 10-40, in order that the;
bondholders may lie in bed until 10-40
and retire at 7-30. The meaning ofi
5-20's is, that it takes the labor of
twenty men to support five bond
holders in idleness. The laboring man
gets S5 of his earnings and pays $20 to
the bondholders.
|®-Is it not possible that Gen. Grant
is not so reticent as folks suppose?
What if there is some deep mystery in
his well known habit of smoking?
What if this is n subtle means of ex
pressing himself? Thus, one whiff may
mean “Perhaps so!’’ Two, “Possibly!”
Three, “Mav-be 1” Four, “Very likely!’,
Which will be seen to be a very clear
exposition of political opinions.
Heading.—A man may as well ex
pect to grow stronger by always eat
ing, as wiser by always reading. Too
much overturns nature, and turns
more iuto disease than nourishment.
It is thought and digestion which
make books serviceable and gives
health and vigor to the mind. Books
well chosen neither dull the appetite
nor straius the memories ; but refresh
the inclinations, strengthen the powers,
and improve under experiments. By
reading, a man does, as it were, ante
date his lifo and makes himself con
temporary with past ages.—Jeremy
Collier.
'
PROFESSIONAL CAROS.
DR. J. W. BYR2TBY,
Being permanently located at Dea Arc,
will continue the practice of hie profession in
all its branches.
Office at Col. J. M. Burney's Drug Store.
OR. ROB'T. B. TREZEVAAT,
Teuders his professional services to
the citizens of Des Arc and vicinity.
Office—At B. V. Johnson Drug Store.
aep21
23. F. Johnson.
DRUGGIST,
DES ABO, ABKANSAS.
KEEP on hand & large assortment of Drugs.
Medicines, Paints, Oils. Perfumery,
Patent Medicines, Wines, Brandies, Whiskey,
j for medical purposes, which he will sell low,
i Proscriptions and orders filled promptly.
Terms cash. feb. 15, 1868.
F. LEPTIEN,
Watchmaker and Jeweler,
DES ARC, ARKANSAS.
I AM NOW PREPARED TO DO ALL
kinds of work in my line. Mend
| ing, Cleaning, Ac.
-Thankful for past favors, I solicit a
> continuance of the patronage heretofore be*
•tewed me febM-tf
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
Z. P. Ha FARk,
ATTOSUTZT A? LAV,
L1TTLB BOCK. ARKANSAS.
J. B. OATS WOOD, J. a. THOM AS,
GATEWOOD l THOMAS,
4mur»n4«i4w
DES ARC, ARKANSAS.
H. I?. Vaughan.
ATTORNEY AT LAW
DES ARC, ARKANSAS/
WILL practice In the Court! of the qoujrtlei ■ -
of Prairie, White, Jackson, Woodruff end
Monroe. Particular attention given to the
collection of elaitna any where in the State
•epTtf.
T. E. EMERSON,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
AND GENERAL LAND AGENT,
AUSTIN, PRAIRIB COUNTY, ARK.
Speoial attention given to tho. eollectiea
and accuring claims, buying and idling lands,
paying taxes, examing titles, Ac. april 11
Aft. P. ALDRIDGE, ;
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Gotton Plant, Arkansas.
Will practice in tb» Circuit Court* of
Woodruff county, and the Circuit Courts of
the seventh Judioial District, and give prompt
attention to all business entrusted to hli
care. Jen12
R *• OABTT. W. I, lBO.aCCB.
GAICTT ft BBONAtTOa,
ATT0RN1YS AT LAW,
BROWNSVILLE, ARKANSAS.
Prompt attention given to collection of
cleimi. aprl 4
W. J. ROGERS,
ATTORNEY AT. LAW,
BROWNSVILLE, ARKANSAS.
Prompt attention given to the Collection
of Claima, Investigation of Land Titles, Pay*
cent of Taxes. &c. uiyl6
TAMES H. PATTERSON, LUCIAN C. GAUSS,
dugutta, Ark. Jacknonport, Ark.
Patterson k Cause,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Jackson port sad Aagasta, Arkansas,
Will practice in the Coontie* of Woodruff,
Jackson, Independence, White, Lawrence,
Randolph, Green. Craighead and Cross, and
attend to special oases in an; part of the
State. Address either offioe. my 18-1;
J. C. JONSON, Office—West Point, Arkansas.
JNO. M. MOORE, Office—Scare;, Arkansas.
JONSON ft' MOORE,
Attorneys at Low,
SOLICITORS IN CHANCERY,
—ANO—
general Land and Collecting Agent*,
8KAKCY, ARKANSAS.
Will give prompt attention to any business
in the counties of Independencs, Jackson,
Woodruff, Monroe, Prairie, White, Conwa;
and Van Buren. nsarS
SOL. F. CLARK. SAX- W. WILLIAMS
Clarke & Williams.
Attorneys it Law,
UTILE rock, arkaitiai.
WILL practice in all the Courts, proeecnta
Claims of all kinds, collect debts, and
act as Real Estate and General Agents.
Omen—Markham Street, near State Hones.
april‘28-tf
JAMES J. GALLAGHER.
Attorney at Law,
COTTON PLANT, WOODRUFFOO. ARt.
Will practice where called.
sep28-tf.
»s. a. ooodt. v. mo mas
GOODY A MoRAE,
4UOii»TIAUAV
SEARCY, WHITE COCHTY,
ARKANSAS.
Will praetiee in all the oourte of Arkansas
mar24
Dr. R. B. SHELBY,
TENDERS his professional services to the
Citiieng of Dee Are and surrounding
country, in the practice of Medicine and Ob
stetrics. He hopes from an experienes of
over fifteen years in Sonthern practice, to
merit a share of publio patronage.
Oftee one door Bast of Burney's Drag
•tore aisr*h2*-18A*-Iy