STATE CHAMPION NOT IN IT
Real Here of the Lmkt in This Com
munity Was the Man Who Re
fused to Play the Game.
We had a chance to demonstrate
our theory ia-u fail, says a writer in
the Topeka Capital, it worked like a
11". ‘!-0 in a rheumatic's pocket
1 hrough the influence of the missus,
who has friends, we obtained a card
a very select country club In an
t tern state, where we stayed ten
d The club had golfitis in its
i: st acute form. The men and worn
e: who frequented the club played
golf, talked golf, ate golf and slept
it. It was the home of the state
champion and the game was the one
important topic of conversation.
For a day or two we were lost In
the atmosphere of golf which befog
ged the place. Then we began to at
tract a little attention by indicating
in a delicate and polite way that, the
whole thing bored us to extinction.
When we respectfully declined to en
gage in the game or borrow any of
the implements connected with tin1
sport there was great surprise. Our j
assertion that we did not play the I
game and did not wish to was receiv
ed with amazement. Fp to the time
of our advent the state champion had
been the colossal figure of the club.
At the end of three days we had
the state champion hanging on to the !
ropes. At the end of a week his ex I
istence had been forgotten. As a
curiosity he had been crowded out of ‘
place by the "eccentric" Kansan who
sat around reading the reports of the
world's championship games, deaf to
golf and all of its manifestations. It
isn't always the hand that Is dealt
you. It Is the way you play it.
—
ACCORDED A HIGH POSITION
Women of Servia, Well Educated and
Able, Are Companions of Their
Husbands and Brothers.
_ I
i
There is no country in the world
where women occupy a more dignified
position in the home than Servia. The
Servian idea is quite different from
that of the Turk, who keeps his worn
en behind shut doors or the German,
whose ideal woman is a hausfrau. In
Servia the woman is the companion of j
the man.
A man is responsible for his un
married sisters, and throughout the
Balkan states it is considered rather
a breach of etiquette for him to mar
ry before his older sister.
No Servian giG would feel she con'd
hold up her head in society unless
she could speak four languages. There
is hardly a Servian woman who can
not play some musical instrument.
Embroidery, painting, drawing, and
sculpture are all studied. Politics Is
a popular feature among women.
Servian women are very domesticat
ed and the highest ladies pay jiersonal
attention to trivial matters of house
keeping.
There are two women doctors prac
ticing in Belgrade, and several wom
en teachers. But public opinion, on
the whole, is rather against women
entering the labor arena.
Jekyll and Hyde Both Out.
One day Mr. Jenkins, senior part
* her in the firm, came out of his pri
vate office and handed Jimmy, the of
fice boy, a Blip of paper and said:
“Here, Jimmy, go over to the pub
lic library and get me ‘Dr. Jekyll and
Mr. Hyde.’ I have written it on a
piece of paper for you so that you will
not forget.”
Jimmy lost the slip of paper on the
way. When he discovered his loss
he returned to the office without go
ing to the library and was seated at
his little desk innocently Bhooting files
with a rubber band when Mr. Jenkins
said to him:
“Well, Jimmy, where's ‘Dr. Jekyll and
Mr. Hyde?’”
“Please, Mr. Jenkins,” responded
Jimmy with well feigned candor, “the
lady at the library said they both just
; went to the ball game and to call for
I them in the morning.”
I
1 Old Town Again In Limelight.
: Stockwell, England, where a hidden
church over 600 years old has just
1 been discovered, has hitherto been
f chiefly famous for its ghost, which set
J! all London in an uproar in 1772. Mak
n lng the furniture dance and the crock
□ ery fall was the ghost’s specialty,
D though by way of variety an egg once
3 flew across the room and hit the cat.
S i Having excited London and frightened
n Stockwell, the ghost retired, leaving
“ behind a firm belief in his supernatural
l origin, until many years later a serv
= ant admitted that long horse hairs at
i) -ached to the crockery and wires to
3' he furniture had enabled her to play
^ the ghost so successfully that frighten
a ed beholders never even detected such
“ open feats as throwing the egg at the
1] cat.
3 1 " '
La Grande Passion.
=0 i “Une grande passion est une
=' grande folie. Mediocrity in all things
il i8 wisdom; mediocrity In sensations is
= ' superlative wisdom. ... No young
“ lady should fall In love till the offer
| has been made, accepted, the marriage
ceremony performed, and the first half
^ year af married life has passed away.
= A woman may then begin to love, but
il, with very great precaution—very cool
S ly, very moderately, very rationally.
™ jf ever she loves so much that r.
harsh word or a cool look cuts her to
' the heart, she is a fool. If she ever
^ loves so much that her husband’s will
p is her law, and that she has got into
the habit of watching his look in or
e der that she may anticipate- hi*
™ wishes, she will soon be a neglected
fg toot"—Charlotte Bronte.
! -AST TRIP THROUGH BRITAIN
tiner.iry Enables Tourist. If He
Wishes, to "Do" the Islands In
the Course of Seven Days.
How to "do" the British 1 dcs in s
veek is the latest scheme for hustlers.
\ dash around London, a Hying de
scent. on one or ■ .to cathedral cities,
a race through Scotland and a glance
at Killarnoy—this what is open to
those who want to see the country
in n hurry. Tourist agents snv that
the idea is catching on with Ameri
cans. Indeed it was an American who
first suggested it
Assuming that the tourist begins
his trip on Monday, he devotes that
day to the show places of London,
winding up with a theater in the eve
ning On Thursday he goes to Wind
sor and Hampton Court and on his
ret.u o London has time to go to a
muSic hall. On Wednesday he leaves
London for Peterborough, sees the
cathedral and gets to York at three
o’clock.
At York the tourist has plenty of
time to visit the Minster and other
historic buildings before catching ihe
6:L". train to Hamburgh. 3L coaches
through the Trossachs and Likes
steamer through Loch Katrine ami
Loch Lomond. Then the train to
Glasgow.
After dinner the hustler takes th«
night train out of Glasgow by way of
Androssan to Belfast, reaches Dublin
In the afternoon and takes the night
train to Killarney.
WENT DEEPLY INTO DETAILS
Identification That Undoubtedly Was
Complete, but Could by No Means
Be Called Complimentary.
R,nphen Hansen, manager of a
Harlem bank, at a dinner recently told
the following anecdote: Many years
ago, while spending a vacation In a
city In the upper part of the state, he
visited some friends in a bank. While
there he saw a severe looklng woman
move up to the teller’s window and
request that a small check be cashed.
She asked the man in the cage to
call up the person from whom she had
received the check and he would Iden
tify her.
The teller called up the man and
asked him to describe the w oman. He
did so in the following manner: “She
looked like the crankiest person in
file world. She was dressed in the
fashion of about five years ago. I
think she is an old cat. She wore a
blue straw hat, but. then it may be
green, and 1 think she paints. She
wore two fake diamond rings. Good
by, old man.”
Tree-Bark Blankets.
They have trees for blankets in
Ecuador, and they like them, too.
They are fond of the firm toueh of
the bark against them as they
sleep,
We would probably think they
were “zero in covering," and we
would doubtless wake up In a much
bestiffened condition if we slept under
a wood covering.
But the native Indiana are most
enthusiastic, according to J. Jame
son, a traveler and lecturer, who
haa recently returned from those
Darts.
The blankets are made from the
bark of a tree which Is cut particular
ly thin. It Is pounded and moistened
and then pounded some more and put
out into the 6uu to dry. And a most
desirable and economical blanket It is,
tasting anywheres from two to five
years.
"His Goose 18 Cooked."
The expression, “his goose is cook
ed," appears in various forms, and
means that his cause is ruined. It
has some reference to the common
but erroneous opinion that “goose’’ is
synonymous with ’’fool.’’ The idea
has crept Into more than one language
and “will not down.” It is generally
understood that "cooking his goose” Is
a phrase which originated when the
king of Sweden, on approaching a hos
tile town, excited the contempt of the
inhabitants by the smallness of his
army. To express this they hung out
a goose for him to shoot at, whereup
on the king set fire to the town to
“cook their goose.”
Proved Truth of Answer.
On a visit to St. Louis, Archbishop
Ryan, a noted Philadelphia prelate,
rode in a carriage to the parochial
residence with Bishop Glennon, who is
rather diminutive in size and of slight
build, especially in the stomachic re
gions, while Archbishop Ryan is tall
and very robust. As they alighted from
the carriage, Archbishop Ryan said to
his companion: “Bishop Glennon, I
once was asked to explain the differ
ence between a bishop and an arch
bishop. I answered” (and the arch
bishop extended his arms in a semi
circle from his own healthy body, at
the same time glancing rather sharply
at Bishop Glennon), ‘“The difference
is all in the arch.’ ”
Ad Astra Per Repartee.
“All right,” said Chollie, as he
gathered himself together after her
father had thrown him out of the
house. “I’ll have you Indicted for
this.”
"Assault and battery, I presume?’1
grinned the old gentleman.
“Not on your life,” said Chollie
“Under the Sherman act your daugh
ter and I were about to swap vows
and that kick of yours was distinctlj
in restraint of trade!”
And the old man was so pleased
that he relented and the next day thi
was announced.—Hit
_
SAVES DAUGHTER
Advice of Mother no Doubt Pre
vents Daughter’s Untimely End.
Ready, Ky.—” I was not able to do
anything ior’ nearly six months,” writes
Mrs. Laura Bratcher, of this place, ‘‘and
was down in bed for three months.
I cannot tell yon how 1 suffered with
my head, and with nervousness and
womanly troubles.
Our family doctor told my husband lie
could not do me any good, and he had
to give it up. We tried another doctor,
but he did not help me.
At last, my mother advised me to fake
Cardui, the woman’s tonic. I thought
it was no use for I was nearly dead and
nothing seemed to do me any good. But
i took eleven bottles, and now I am able
to do ail of my work and my own
washing.
1 think Cardui is the best medicine in
tiie world. My weight has increased,
and 1 look tiie picture of health. ”
If you suffer from any of the ailments
peculiar to women, get a bottle of Cardui
today. Delay is dangerous. We know
it will help you, for it has helped so
many thousands of other weak women
in ttie past 50 years.
At all druggists.
tVritr t*: Chat’anoo^a Medicine Co., I-adlet’
Advisory Dapt., Glialtanooea, Tenn., lor Uncial
/nitructwni on your earn and 6*-paga book. "Hotna
Treatment lor Women." In plain wrapper. N.C. 129
NOT AN ISOLATED CASE
Many Similar Cases In Newport
and Vicinity.
This Newport man’s story giv
en here is not an isolated case by
any means; week after week;
year after year, our neighbors
are telling similar good news.
Joseph F. Brown, farmer, R.
tt t r n TV_ 1
r, U' 1X C4,
Arkansas, says: “I suffered off
and on for several years from
kidney complaint- The kidney se
cretions passed irregularly, the
flow usually being too frequent
and obliging me to get up at
night. Dull, heavy pains seated
themselves in the small of my j
back and when I stooped, sharp
twinges darted through me. I
went from bad to worse until I
got Doan’s Kidney Pills at Dut
ton’s Drug Store, (now Walker’s
Pharmacy). A few boxes cured
me.”
Price 50c, at all dealers. Don’t
simply ask for a kidney remedy
—get Doan’s Kidney Pills— the
same that Mr. Brown had. Fos
ter-Milburn Co., proprietors,
Buffalo, New York- (Adv.)
lere is a structure which every institution builds for
,elf It is called character, and every act is a stone in I
is stucture, £ f ! IlIiUMIMm
institution, in order to have a good character, must
link honestly, act honestty, breathe honesty. The
jople soon determine between the genuine and the
unterfeit. They know the ring of the true metal
id the base. ^
(KANSAS BANK & TRUST; CO.
NEWPORT, ARKANSAS
i *
[otice Of Sewer Tax.
tax books for the collec
f the Special Sewer Tax
1 property in Sewer Dis
[o. 1 for the Fifth Annual
ment to maintain and op*
said sewer system, have
laced in my hands. All
i of real property lying in
t and required to pay
axes to me within thirty
rom date. If such assess
is not paid action will be
jnced at the end of that
or the collection of said
ment, and for the legal
ies and cost.
>n under my hand this
lay of December, 1913.
L. Minor, Collector
District No. 1, Newport,
rkansas. 29d30
Clash of Contrast.
t Is that terrific noise?” ask
pedestrian. “That,” replied the
un, “is caused by an ordinary
it safety pin sticking into •
ulllion dollar baby."
i
■ ■ .—■■ n—- , IIM.I I
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