VOLUME 3. DES ARC, AKKANSAS, AUGUST 17, 1867. NUMBER 33.;
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PROFESSIONAL CARRS.
ROUT. 8 AKDKKSOM, W« J. THOMPSON.
Jarkronport, Ark. Augvrta, Ark.
Andcraon A Thompson,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Jacksonport and Augusta, Ark.
Will attend the Courts of Jackson, Wood
ruff, and adjoining Counties, and to special
cases in any section of the State. Address
either office. < maylS ly
A. C rtCKSTT. t. M. 8AMBAU8.
PICKETT A RAMSAUn.
ATTORNEYS IT LAW,
AUGUSTA. ARKANSAS.
Will practice in the counties of Woodruff,
Jackson, White and Craighead. Special at
tention given to collections of all claims en
trusted to their care apr6-ly
J. C. JONSON. Office—West Point, Arkansas.
■JNO. II. MOORE, Office—Searcy, Arkansas.
JONSON A MOORE,
Attorneys at Law,
SOLICITORS IN CHANCERY,
—ASD —
General Land and Collecting Agents,
\
SEARCY, ARKAN8A8.
Will give promptattention to any business
In the counties of Independence, Jackson,
Woodruff, Monroe, Prairie, White, Conway
and Van Burcn. 111 ~
J. R. I*. ALDRIDGE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Cotton Plant, Arkansas.
Will practice in the Circuit Courts of
Woodruff county, and the Cirouit Courts of
the seventh .Indicia, District, and give prompt
attention to all business entrusted to his
care. janlJ
Geo. W. Ma berry
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
AND
gO LI C I T O Jl IX CHANCERY
—and—
OEXER.iL I.l>» *LEXT.
COTTON T» I- A TNT.
WOODRUFF BOUNTY". ARKANSAS.
N-TTILL attend the Circuit and Probate
W Courts for the counties of M mroc. St
Francis and W 'odruff. innr24
J E. 0AT®WOOD, ! < 3. 8. THOMAS.
Dee Arc, Ark. / Brownsville, Ark.
GiTEWD:D & THOMAS,
&£1 SAW
ncs Arc and Brownsville,
PRAIRIE COI XTY, ARKANSAS.
Heel-tf ‘ _
GANTT & BRONACOII, Brownsville, Ark.
H. P. VAUQHAN, Pcs Arc. Arkansas.
Gantt, Bronangh & Vanghan.
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
Will practice \n the counties of Trairie.
White, Woodruff. Monroe, Arkansas and Pu
laski. Prompt Kttt<munn ei'^n to the collec
tion of claim* fat-v will be paid and title?
investigated for non-residents aprl4-8m
ti. urnaspsTa. t. bi.akkklnt.
HEDGEPETH & KENT,
ATTORNKYS AT LAW.
©ES ARC, ARKANSAS.
NT7ILL practice in al! of the courts of
\ t Prairie county, and the circuit courts
of the surrounding counties. iuar24-titii
WM T JONES.
At 4? s&w,
BROWNSVILLE. ARKANSAS.
..... . _ *?r
y] Prairie, Monroe. Woodruff. Jackson and
While Pi'oinpt attention given to the collec
lion of claims. aprl4-ly
wx. B. COODY. D. MORA*.
COODY & McRAE,
ATTQ&W&T§ At &&W
8E4UC1, WHITE COISTW,
AUKAXKAS,
Will practice in all the courts of Arkansas.
mar24
hOL. r. CLARK. BAM W WILLIAMS
JOS W. MARTIN.
CLARK WILLIAMS A MARTIS,
Jittornejs at Law,
LITTLE ROCK, ARKANSAS.
WILL practice in all the Courts, proaecuu
Claims of all kinds, collect debts, and
act as Ural Ktlart and llenical Agent.
Oi sice—Mai kLaui Slfeet, near Slate House
aprilW-'f _
o' HICKS, Formerly uf thy firi^of Cypsrt S
Hicks.
H. R. FIELDING, Formerly of Athens, Ala.
HICKS & FIELDING.
.V'TOHKSYS XX Ll.W,
luiircj, Whit* Co., Arkansas
tfflLL practice in this and the adjseen
gl counties, iu tbo District Courts, aud 8u
pretuc Coart of the State.
——Wo have in connection with our Lav
Office an ACTIVE OUT-DOOR COLLECTINC
AGENCY. Claims entrusted to us will bi
promptly attended to, and if notsmmediate!}
collected will bo at once secured if poseible
Claim against the Government for ''property
taken by the U. 8 forces (Whether receipts
(or or not)—BorxTiss Pisnosi, Arrears o
Tat Ac. promptly amended to.
,aar84- II|f Kfl 8 FIFT DTvr,
PROFESSIONAL CARPS.
Drs Barney, Treievant ft Allen,
HAVISO associated themselves in the
PRACTICE OF MEDICINE,
will coutinue to wait upon the citiient of
DES ARC AND VICINITY.
At heretofore, a portion of their time, will
be devoted to treatment of Onnotic Duiaiik
of every description.
DPOfflco—Ontdoor east of J. M Burney e
Drug 8 tort. _j“*H
B. J A. aOl'NELAl'H ottce, it
now at Johnson & Davit’ Drug Btnre;
can ht be consulted nt hit room at the Harvey
House. Ht will give hit undivided attention
to Chronic Diseases of every deterip
lion.
The best of references can bt furnlshtd, by
applying to DR } A R0UBKIiAux,
junl-tf Dai ^rs. Arkantat.
THOMAS M. GIB80N,
ATTORNS? AT LAW,
DEV ALL'S BLUFF, ARKANSAS.
Witt give special attention to collection of
claims of every character. jun29-ly
THOMAS J. MARSH,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR
A. t Law,
DES ARC, ARKANSAS.
S9»Partcultr Attention given to the
collection of nil kinds of claims ngninit
the Government.
Office—On Buena Vista street next
door to J. M. Burney's drug store.
may26
GEO. K. MORTON.
kiman m saw,
—AMD—
SOLICITOR IN CHANCERY,
DES ARC. ARKANSAS.
Will practice in the State and Federal
Courts of Arkansas. mayll
JAMES II. PATTERSON, LUCIAN C. CAUSE.
Auyvtta, Ark. Jacktonport, Ark.
SIDNEY S. CAUSE.
Patterson, Gause ft Rrs.,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Jtcktonport and Augusta, Arkantat.
Will practice in the Counties of Woodruff.
Jackson. Independence, White. Lawrence.
Randolph. Green. Craighead and Cross, and
ttend to special cases in any part of the
State. Address either office myl8-ly
I. K. HEDOPITH. 8. N. JACKSON.
HEDGPETH & JACKSON,
201XSSTSA.D
LAND AGENTS,
Dos Arc, Arlcnnsns.
—
Wul cuter Lands under the provisions of
| the Act of Congress. May 2), 1802, entitled
An act to secure Homesteads to actual sel
lers on the public domain.” ap27*
j F.LEPTIEN,
Watchmaker and Jeweler,
DES ARC, ARKANSAS.
Tam now prepared to do all
kinds of work in my line. Mend
! log. Cleaning. Ac.
-Thankful for past favors, I solicit a
continuance of the patronage herctnfon be
stowed on me. fel>28-tf
WATTENSAW
Nursery.
ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND
FRUIT TREKS,
ONE AND TWO YEARS OLD,
FOR SALK IN 1867-8,
BT JOHN D. MORROW a SON,
PRAIRIE COI’NTY. ARKANSAS.
HAVING been engaged in tbie business for
the last seventeen years, in Mississippi
and Arkansas ; snd having studied it closely,
we claim to have acquired a knowledge of the
Kafirs adapted to our elimate. We rel'et the
public to apecimeoa io our Orchards, aud Or
chards sold by us, in this and adjoining
counties. Address
Jobn D. Morrow it Son,
jon2Clim lies Arc, Arkansss.
IV. II. BARNETT,
SAMIN «AK*m»
And General Repairer.
Will repair Old tlarnees, or make new ones.
Also, repair Saddle#. Shop—opposite "cm
rss ornca."
Dos Arc, Arlt., May 25. 18*17—if
*< SttOftiWtr
WATCHMAKER
—AND—
JEWELER,
BITLERSTIIAE, - ARKANSAS
HAS on bard, a nice etock of Watch- «
cs, Clocks, Jewelry and Far :y
Art idee. Alao, will repair Watches, AsJB
iClooka, Jewelry, Musical Inefrumenis. etc.
In connection with the above, I have t
| PHOTOGRAPH GALLERY,
Where any kiud of a Picture can be taken.
apr20-8m J B. FI8CHESSER
Jl'NE 1st, 1807.
Dry Goods in Abundanoe at Reduce
Prices!!
We wean exactly tbls.
hazes* ,t M.-puritpov
THE FARMER.
The farmer la lord of tho cattle.
The farmer le king of the aoit,
Tho' hia brow *nay be darkened by sunlight.
Ilia hands may be browned by his toil.
He iooke o'er his fields and hia orchards,
With joy, when his day’s work is o'er,
For Le knowi (he eeed planted in spring.
In autumn will yield a rich store.
Ho seas Ood in nature around him.
The flower that blooms ou the plain,
Tho' dying in winter—in rammer
Will blossom in beauty again.
The com that is dropped in tbs furrow.
By rauahino expands into birth—
Its rich oar of gold in the autumn.
Add beauty and grandeur to earth.
Tho grass that is withered and dying,
Tha tree tho' now leafless and hare,
tfni spring into lift and new verdure.
Which provn immortality there.
The seed that le sown by the wayside.
Whether of tares or of wheat—
Takes root in ths soil that surrounds it.
And starts into life while we sleep.
Nothing it lost, sr is wasted,
That lies 'neath the richly turned sod,
Ths “seed time and harvest shall fail not,”
If you trust in the power of Ood.
“By ths sweat of tho brow shall thou labor,’
Tho' woary—faint not—but endure—
A crown of tho faithful awaits thto
For God and hit promise is sure.
A Chapter on Babies.
BT A CHILDLESS MOTHER.
-
“A bsby in the bouse is a well-spring
of pleasure." Then the bouses of our
ambitious little village must be well
watered, for such a crop of babies as we
show this season has rsrelv been ex
hibited since Barmim's favorite har
vest a few years since. Indeed our
excessive efforts and improvements in j
this direction led one ameteur judge to
observe, in the classic language oi
Yminor Arnorlcfl. that “if tvp tvprp n
or.c-horse, we were certainly not'a
one-baby concern.”
Our district has ever been celebrated
for its choice flowers and elegant bo- j
quets. Several gentleman have proved
that our blackberries are likely to be
come as renowned as thetime-honorod
pippin of the older States, aud now
we may add with truth that our babies
are as “plenty as blackberries," and !
quite as worthy of notice. Wc have
large babies nud small babies; light
babies and dark babies; quiet babies
and noisy babies; boy babies and girl
babies—all sorts of babies, except ugly
babies aud cross babies—fortunately,
■ |
all onr babies arc both good aud hand
some 1
As we poor childless wives meekly
go from house to house, we learn that
each new baby that is presented for
our inspection is heavier, prettier, more
forward and more excellent than any
other mother's baby. “Mrs. Slouch's
baby- is a nice little creature, but so
small“Mrs. Slim's baby is a cun
ning fellow, but what a head !” “The
Tumble Bug's babies are always dumpy
and the new one has such stary (not
starry) eyes." “Mrs. Finder's baby is
a darling little girl; but did you sec
its nose !'' Whereas this baby—that is
the baby we are holding iu our awk
ward, uuacrustomed arms—is iust the
dearest, loveliest, cunningest Jitt.e
creature that ever was born. We stifle
down a rebellious sigh as wc think of
our own quiet home, where cradle
cares and cradle joys never Intrude;
where no gentle baby-breathing ever
freight the air with sweet anxieties ;
where no babies soft murmur of satis
lied content or helpless complaining is
ever to break the unnatural still of a
childless home. We look on this mo
ther’s baby, and our yearning becomes
a prayer tor laitn to know that “uod
doeth all things well."
What a flue thing it is that each mo
ther thinks so well of her baby. We
cannot help smiling at this over admi
ration, which sees no dofect in the little
soft “bundles of pink flesh’ and white
cambric. We listen ns the pretty lady,
duly arranged iu an elegant deshabille
recounts the peculiar excellencies of
Iter new treasure; and we can see no
thing more beautiful and interesting
than a happy smile of perfect conteut
with which, as the nurse holds out the
I baby, the convalescent turns back the
1 blanket aud discloses the little face aud
, tiny arms. What if the mother's eyes
were not so enchanted; what would
become of all the uulovely babies?
what would he the fate of those un
sightly little monsters that are born in
this troublous world ?
It is a delightful weakness, this inor
dinate affection—we will not degrade
it by the name of instinct, but allow it
the noble oue of affectionate judgment.
The generality of maukind may take
comfort iu the thought that, however
unloved or unappreciated they have
bceu, each one was, for a time, at least,
and to one person, the most attractive,
the most interesting and the most im
portant of the human race. Beautiful
manifestation of a glorious nature is
this instinct of maternal love. From
the highest to tho lowest order of cre
ation, fervently may we bless God for
such a transcendent gift. No elevation
of rank, no degradatioh of siu, can ex
tinguish the spark; and though it be
perverted or exagerated, still there is
ever in its partiality patience, self-for
gotfuiness, a holy hrauty that must
compel resp» n.
SOUTHERN POLITICS.
SPLENDID SERIES OF PATRI
OTIC PAPERS.
NOTK8 ON THE SITUATION-No. 10.
BT HON. U. n. HILL, OF OEOBOIA.
• But it is said the negro race ie now
free, and made citizens by our laws,
and, therefore, are entitled to the po
litical as well as civil equality.
It is idle to reason with a fanatical
mind. A fanatic is a lunatic. The
conclusions of such are never founded
in reason nor affected by experience;
they are founded in feeling and live
only on passion. "We must appeal and
still appeal and not cease to appeal to
the rational American mind, and by
reason, and the experience of mankind
save, if we can, otir country from the
awful, indescribable horrors which
must result, and result soon, fYom the
crazy domination of men who make
“liberty and equality" the touchstones
of political wisdom. This mad theory
as nothing but war upon the teachings
of reason, the experience of all ages,
and the law of God. It was never the
doctrine of any but the agents of rev
olution, and it never bore for any peo
ple any fruits but anarchy and blood
and the evils that follow in the train of
unrestrained passions.
lint to suppose, as an abstract prop
osition, we concede the negro race is
entitled to political equality; how
does that justify these military bills?
Does the negro’s right to vote author
ize a violation of the Constitution by
Congress? If it is rtglit to enfran
chise the negro, is it right to disfran
chise the whites?
No principle is better or more uni
versally conceded in American politics
that! that the people of the States alone
must regulate the political franchises
oi ineir citizens—earn mate ior nseii.
If this principle is to be rejected then
no other need be respected. The first
great question we must determine is
this: Do we mean to support the
Constitution, or do we mean to violate
it? Do we mean, when we swear to
support the Constitution, to vote for
that which violates the Constitution
aud justify our perjury by some vagary
about abstract right ? I press the
question to every man's conscience.
Have you obtained Torn consent to
disregard the Constitution? Don’t
dodge, or explain, or qualify; answer
the question. Have you obtained your
consent to disregard the Constitution?
Have you obtained your consent to
swear to support the Constitution, and
then flippantly write or say, ‘-The
Constitution is dead?” If dead, why
swear to support it! If not to be re
garded, or respected, or observed, why
swear to support it? The military
bills arc conceded to be uncoustitu
tiona). Whether we be States or Ter
ritories or provinces, Congress is for
bidden by the Constitution to deny
trial by jury, or to authorize a warrant
without oatl), or pat upon trial without
indictment, or suspend habeas corpus,
except duriug insurrection or invasion,
iu case of a citizen, or establish milita
ry rule over citizens iu time of peace,
anywhere—in any single loot of land—
State, Territory or Province. These,
these, oh, my deluded countrymen 1
these are the constitutional shield and
buckler and helmet, aud breastplate of
every grade and color, on every iueh
of American soil. They are the whole
armor of liberty. And every one of
these the military bills authorize to be
disregarded, and placed at the will of
a military officer, who is not even a
citizen of the State or territory iu whicli
he dominates!
I ask again and again, and I beseech
nil ow>n tn nnlr * It la tlio oapnnal an y.
ious, piercing appeal of the dying hope
of liberty: Abe you willing to vio
late the Constitution ? Are you
willing, first, to swear to support it,
with the intent, at the same time of
sweabinq to violate it? Then, I pro
claim—a’l posterity will proclaim—
your hell-mortgaged conscience will
never cease to proclaim : you are per
jured, and perjury is not hale your
crime—you commit perjury in order to
become a traitor!.
And now mark this: The very oath
whieh you take requires you to swear
to support the Constitution, and if you.
take that oath and then vote for a con
vention to carry out these military
billa, or aid iu carrying them out, you
vote to accept, to approve, to establish
that which is a violation of the Consti
tution, and, Just as sure as passiou shall
subside, and reason return to our peo
ple, and sober, oath-observing patriot
ism shall again rule in the land, so sure
will you be branded, and justly brand
ed, as a felon and whipped throughout
the laud with the stinging, ceaseless
lasher of public Infamy, because you
took an oath to support the Constitu
tion with intent to violate, because you
committed perjury iu ordei* that you
might help to destroy your country.
Aud iu vain will you hunt excuses to
palliate your changeless infamy. The
malignity which now makes you call
patriots rebels, the cowardice which
continues a war upon the unresisting
whom you induced, with the most sa
cred pledges, to lay down their arms ;
the meanness which devises oppression
for the helpless, the vileness which
presses dishonor on those you have en
'♦v#rrsd into ycur r^wer; ♦he wersr
•
than hypocritical statesmanship which
disfranchises white men in order to
enfranchise black men; the criminal
philanthropy which provides for the
sure destruction of the deluded negro
race under pretense of elevating it, all
these will only rise up to mock and
laugh at you then. Like the hell
hounds which “death, by rape begot of
sin," when Heaven’s Almighty hurled
down to hell those who, by deceit and
force, sought to destroy His suprema
cy. these very pretenses which hate be
gets of hypocrisy, in this attempt to
destroy the Constitution, will become
“yelling monsters' in the political hell
into which the geuius of constitutional
liberty will cast you, and will kennel
in the womb that bred them,’’ and
“howl and gnaw,” and “vex with cou
seious terrors” forever.
I know how fallen is human nature:
I know how nations end peoples have
often become the mere prey of had,
ambitious rulers; I know the streams
of blood with which hypocrisy, under
pretense of saintly purpose, has often
flooded mankind ; I know how conn
tries have often been destroyed, that a
few wicked men might continue in
power. But can it- be that our people
have become willing to violate our
Constitution for our owmi dishonor nnd
destruction? Will they take an oatli
to get a chance to violate it, in order
that they may degrade the whife race,
and ultimately destroy the black race?
How many will thus violate it?
Ilow many will stand by it, live with
it, OR DIE FOR it? That is the next
count
Liability on Notes for the Purchase
of Slaves.
DECISION OF THE SUPREME COURT OK
GEORGIA.
Among the recent decisions of the
supreme court of Georgia, there is oue
that deserves some special notice. The
case was substantially as follows:
In November, A. D. 1857, the plain
tiff in error, John F. Tucker, purchased
of Mr. H. L. Toomer, of this statr, a
miiuucr oi slaves, to secure the pay
ment of tli” purchase money he execu
ted his bond, with personal security,,
and also a mortgage of the negroes
purchased and a mortgage of a valuable
plantation. Tho bond became due
prior to the secession of Georgia from
the federal union. It was not paid at
maturity. l>uring the war payment
was offered in Confederate currency,
but not received.
The slaves remained in Tucker’s pos
session until they were emancipated bv
the authority of the United States, and
by this act of emancipation ceased to
be of value as property.
Suit was commenced to foreclose the
mortgage of the plantation. This was
resisted upon the ground that the bond
for the securing oi which the mortgage
was given was executed to secure the
purchase money of these slaves, and
was also secured by a mortgage of the
negroes themselves. That, upon tho
non-payment of tho bond at maturity,
tho condition of the mortgage of the
negroes was broken, and these became
tlie property of the seller, and being
his in the eye of the luw at the time of
emancipation, that the loss must fall
upon him. and not upon the purchaser,
if was further urged that it was an in
herent and necessary part of the sale,
that the negroes conveyed were slaves
for life, and that whatever impeached
this condition, whether the act of the
government, or of any other power or
person, was, in fact, a breach of the
implied warrenty, rai»ed by the law on
account of the peculiar character of the
property and the relation of things.
It was again contended that even
these positions were not well founded,
that the loss should be mutually borne,
and should be apportioned between the
setter and the purchaser.
The court below decided in ftiror of
the validity of the bond aud the fore
closure of the mortgage. From this
judgment Mr. Tucker appealed, and the
case was ably argued on both sides,
before the supreme cblirt. The court
has sustained the opinion expressed on
the circuit, and dismissed the appeal.
Harris, justice, in affirming the judg
ment, said : “This South Carolina mort
gage, sought to be enforced on lands
lying in Georgia, can only be regarded,
looking to the case made by the record,
as a security for the payment of the
debt due by Tucker to Toomor for the
purchase of a large number of slaves.
“The condition of the mortgage being
, broken by Tucker, the legal title was
: thereupon vested in the mortgage only
j for specified purposes, aud docs not,
therefore, operate as payment.
"The absolute ownership of the ne
groes purchased by Tucker of Toomer,
in November, 1857, (the possessing
never having changed after the sale,)
' continued to abide in Tucker until, by
the acts of tlic 1’tiilcd States govern
ment, they were made free, the loss
then must be borne by him.
“There is not a fact stated in the re
cord which would justify any court in
apportioning the loss sustained by the
emancipation of the slaves between the
veuder and vendee.”
j®*“When a woman won't she
won't." You can’t fbree them to do
auything. Indeed, the most of them
are very much like the old man's wife,
who, he said, was of so much contra
buurtiou that when she took a cum
pinion of her own there was no m’’h
' thing ss eonqnestfon’ng her.
When will the National Debt be Paid.
The official monthly statement of the
public debt to the 1st of August is ns
follows c
Hearing coin interest, $1,678,900,961 80
Hearing currency interest, 674,904,856 00
Matured debt not presented
for payment. 16,036,816 87
’'etc bearing no interest, 369,164,864 (81
Fractional currency, 28,554.729 72
(told certificates of deposit, 19,467.960 00
Total debt, $2,086,686,896 39
Amount in Treasury (coin) $102,905,174 00
Amount in Treas. (currency) 72,474,296 38
The amount of debt, less cash in
Treasury, has decreased $4,309,519 98;
debt, bearing coin interest, increased
$75,262,759, while that bearing currency
interest has decreased $80,726,010. The
matured debt not presented for pay
ment lias increased $6,923,795 55. The
debt bearing no interest has decreased
$1,814,258 74. Amount in Treasury, in
coin, since .lune 1. i.as increased $4,146.
750 39. and the amount in currency less
titan that exhibited in last statement,
is $919,168 60.
Leaving out of the calculation the
difference between gold and paper, the
public debt is being reduced nt about
the rate of nine millions per annum, if
we have not misrpprehended the fig
ures. But that is more than equalled
by the interest, which will he due next
month, ott the seventy-five millions in
crease of tlie gold bearing debt. In
stead of paying oft' nine millions, we
shall run in debt twenty. When, then,
is the public debt to be paid. Paying
it off at the rate of nine millions per
annum, we shall pay it oft’ in the year
2167. Increasing it annually by twenty
millions, we shall owe six thousand
millions at the same date. Never
mind. ‘‘A national debt is a national
blessing."—[Memphis Ledger.
---
Timely Hints—Miss Leslie on Slang.
‘There is no wit,’ says the author of
.the Behavior Book, ‘in a lady to speak
of tnking a ‘snooze,’ instead of a nap—
in calling pantaloons ‘pants,’or gentle
men ‘gents,’—in saying of a man whose
dress is getting old, that he looks
wiiiu in hiimilii£ m «u amiipiiis;
anecdote, or a diverting incident, to
say that is ‘rich.’ All slang words are
detestable from the lips of young
ladies. We are always sorry to hear a
voting lady use such a word as ‘polk
ing,' when she tells of having been en
gaged in a certain dance too fashiona
ble not long since; but happily, now
it is fast going out, and almost banish
ed from the best society. To her honor
be it remembered, Queen Victoria lias
prohibited the polka being danced in
her presence. How can a genteel girl
bring herself to say, Mast night 1 was
polking with Mr. Ceil,’or ‘Mr. Chopc
came and asked me to polk with him.’
These coarse and ill sounding names
are worthy of the dance. We have
little tolerance for young ladies, who
having in reality neither wit nor hum
or, set up for both, and having nothing
of the right stork to go upon, substi
tute coarseness and impertinence (not
to say impudence,) and try to excite
laughter, and attract the attention of
gentlemen by talking slang. Where
do they get it? How do they pick it
up? From low newspapers or vulgar
books? Surely uot from low compan
ions? We heard one of these ladies,
when her collar chanced to he pinned
awry, say that it was but ‘on a drunk,’
meaning crooked on head. When dis
concerted, she was ‘floored.’ When
submitting to a thing unwillingly, she
was ‘brought to a scratch.’ Sometimes
she did things ‘on a sly.’
Mr A Mississippi editor who has
visited Tiiad. Stevens, thus describes
the old villian’s nigger wife, says the
Helena Clarion :
In the city of Lancaster, in Pennsyl
vania, in the goodly North, nigh unto
the pure city of Philadelphia, Thaddeus
Stevens has for years lived in open
adultery with a mulatto woman whom
he seduced from her husband, a full
blooded negro, l lus mulatto manages
his households, both in Lancaster and
at Washington, receives or rejects his
visitors at will, speaks of Mr. Stevens
and herself as “we, ’ and in all things
comports herself as if she enjoyed the
rights of a lawful wife. I have no
word of uukiudiiess or abuse for her.
She is a neat, tidy housekeeper, and
appears to be a* polite as well trained
negroes generally are.
*»*Ulrl* let us tell you the stubborn
truth! So young woman ever looks
so well to a sensible voting man, as
when dressed in plain, neat, modest at
tire, without a single ornament about
her person. She looks then as if she
1 possessed worth in herself, and.needed
no artiticial rigging to enhance her
value. If a young woman would spend
. as much time in improving her mind,
her temper, training uud cherishing
! kindness, mercy, and good qualities, as
1 most of them do in extra dress charms,
she would at a glance be known among
I a thou.-and—her character would be
read in her countenance.
IStf-Thc oil of pennyroyal will keep
mosquitoes out of a room, if scattered
! about, even in small quantities. The
| inner bark of white ash will, if brought
1 in contact wilh a snake, stiffen him
like a stick in an instant, and a Lite ol
fresh tobacco placed on bis longue will
kill him dead as if struck by lightning,
while sheep and goats feed upon il
with entire impunity. Roadies are ex
terminated by scattering a handful oi
fresh cucumber parings about the house
No fly will light ou the window whirl
has been washed with water in mhid
a !i*t1» gv’ic has b'<n bci> 1
The Latest froiri the Song Writers.
BY THE ‘TAT CONTKlllUTOR.”
The man who ‘Drcmpt I dwelt in
Marble Halts,' has opened a marble
quarry there, and is doing a thriving
business in grtting out grave stones.
The author of ‘Carry me back to Old
Virginia,’ has opened a livery stable
and is carried hark in his own convey
ance wherever lie wants to be.
The man who sang ‘I am lonely since
my mother died,’ isn’t quite so lonely
now. The old man married again, and
Ids step-mother makes it lively enough
for him.
The author of ‘Life on the Ocean
Wave,' is gratifying his taste for the
sea by teuding a saw-mill. He will be
on the water.
The one who gave ‘The Old Folks at
Home,’to the world, has recently taken
them to the poor house, as they were
getting troublesome.
The author of ‘Shells of Ocean,’ is in
the clam business.
The man who wanted to ‘Kiss him
for his mother,’ attempted to kiss his
mother for him the other day, and him
gave him a walloping ‘for his mother.’
The one who wailed so plaintively,
•Do they miss me at home ?’ was missed
the other day, together with a neigh
bor’s wife. lie is missed by a wife and
seven children.
The author of‘Three Blind Mice,’ has
started a menagerie with them.
The man who wrote ‘Five o'clock in
the morning,’ found that no saloons
were open at that early hour where lie
could get his bitters, so he lies abed
rather later now.
‘Give me a cot in the valley I love,'
has got a cot in the infirmary. Mein
Colt!
The man who sighed, ‘Take me home
to die,’ took Dr. Kerr’s System Ileno
vator, and is now » ‘Fine ould Irish
Giutleiuau.’
‘Meet me by moonlight alone,’ has
left oil’meat, and taken to drink.
The author of 'lioll on, silver moon,'
has opened a ball alley. Silver moon
can't kolj. ox ids alley without paying
for it.
The disconsolate who sings, ‘Have
you seen inv Maggie?’ has heard ol
her. Another fellow informs him,
through the music store, that ‘Maggie’s
by my side.’
•I'd oiler thee this hand of mine,’ has
been sued for breach of promise.
•Oil! Susanna,' settled with her at
length, and don't owe Susanna any
more.
The author of ‘Old Arm Chair,' is
still in the furniture business.
The one who pleaded ‘Uock me to
Sleep, Mother, Hock mo to Sleep,’ has
at length been gratified. His mother,
yielding to his repeated solicitations,
picked up a rock and rocked him to
sleep. He hasn’t woke tip vet.
The one who asked ‘Who will Care
for Mother now ?' has finally eoucluded
to take care of the old woman himself,
as no one else seems inclined to.
Wouldn't Own Up.
Joe Stetson was a wild, rollicking
fellow, who spent most of his time in
drinking and sprecing, while his wife
Holly was left at home to do all the
chores. Upon a certain occasion Joe
left home, to he hack, as he said, that
night. Night came, but Joe did not.
| The next day passed, hut about sunset
.Joe came up in the worst condition
imaginable—his clothes dirty and torn,
one eve in deep mourning, and his face
presenting more the appearance of raw
meat than anything else. Poliy niet
him at the door, and noticing his ap
pearance, exclaimed t
•Why, Joe, what in the world is the
matter ?'
i oiiy, sam jof, -no yon Know dim
Andrews? Well him and me had a
! light.'
•Who whipped, Joe,' asked Polly.
‘Polly, we had the hardest fight you
j ever did sec. I h.t him, and he hit me.
and. then we clinched. Polly, ain't
supper most ready ? I ain’t had any
thing since yesterday morning.’
‘But tell me who whipped,’ continued
Polly.
‘Polly,’ replied Joe, ‘I tell you you
i never did see such a fight as me and
j him had. When he clinched me I
i .ierked loose from him, and then gin
him three or four of the most sufficient
est kicks you ever heard of. Polly,
j ain't supper ready. I’m nearly starved.'
‘Joe, do tell me who whipped,’ con
tinued Polly.
‘Polly,’ replied Joe, you don’t know
, nothin ’bout fightin. I tell you wt
fought like tigers; we rolled and tum
bled—first him on top, then roe on top
—then the boys would pat me on the
shoulder, and holler, Oh, my I Stetson
We gouged and bit, and tore up the
grouud In Seth Runnel’s grocery yard
worser nor two wild bulls. Polly
ain’t supper most ready, I'm monstroui
hungry.’
•Joe Stetson!’ exclaimed Polly, In j
tone bristling with anger, ‘will you tel
me who a hipped ?’
‘Polly,’ said Joe. drawing a loug sigh
'I hollered!'
tuff "An extravagant fellow who hai
1 borrowed money of a Jew, kept prom
ising and posponiug payment till th.
Jew lost patience. ‘Vonee for all, vei
vill you pay me ?’ said the enraged Is
realite. ‘Ou the day of iudgmeut.’saii
the other. ‘Von't do! dat vill too bus
a day,’ said the Hebrew. ‘Then let i
be (be Jay sft»r,’ replied th> other.
SALMAGUNDI.
•ardlappiness is promised not to the
learned, but to the good.
“Voices of the Night."—Mosquitos,
frogs and watchmen.
®sF*“Ee resolutions is passed, crim
eon," was the decision of a negro chair
man at Richmond.
•St'Eve, according to Milton, kept
silence in Eden to hear her hushahd
talk. There have been no Eves since.
#®*Forget injuries and remember
benefits; if yon grant a favor, forget
it; if you receive one, remember it.
f&“*Didn't you suppose, 51'r, that I
kept a Bible?’ “No, I didn't think
that you kept God’s word, as I know
you never kept your own."
S£y~The old Spanish proverb is hav
ing its fulfillment in our day, “that by
the clergyman's skirts the devil climbs
into the belfl-y.”
A wholesale house in a down
I east city advertises: “Wanted, women
! to sell on commission." We would
suggest as an addenda : “None but the
best looking need apply.”
KS“"Sccdy Annals” says: “If the
adage is true that ‘none but the brave
deserve the fake,’ what a courageous
set of fellows some of these Western
railroad conductors must be."
Recipe for Making Love.—Take
two parts sugar, three of soft soap, a
little sage, plenty of summer savory,
and add a little wine; mix well to
gether, and leave the whole to “sett”
for two or three nights. It is best
taken while hot.
®sg~At a Methodist meeting, the
singer who led the psalm tunes, finding
that his concluding word, which was
Jacob, had not syllables enough to fill
up the music adequately, ended thus:
■Ja-a-a—Ja-a-a—tol de riddle—cob!’
asgTlt >8 stated by some wiseacre that
tho heart of a man weighs about uiuo
ounces, that of a woman about eight.—
As the age increases, a Rian’s heart
: grows heavier, and the woman's light
I nr_snnin triple Into llipip'e el eivlppn
Ssg^'Doctor,' said a despairing patient
to liis physician, ‘I am in a dreadful
situation ; I can neither i.ay nor set—
what shall I do?’ ‘Why, then,' replied
the doctor, ‘I think you had better
KOOST.’
Tobacco.—Tobacco in excess fouls
the breath, disorders the teeth, soils
the complexion, deranges the nerves,
reduces vitality, and impairs the sensi
bility to beauty and to pleasure ; also
intemperance promotes idleness and
degrades the man.
Ki)-This is the age of monuments.
The Sandwich Islanders are about to
erect one in honor of Captain Cook, as
a slight atonement for the conduct of
; their forefathers in eating him,
i y-je—-Have your cabbages tender
I hearts?" asked a woman of a cabbage*
! monger. “They can’t have anything
| else, ma'am," was the reply, “for they
! have been with me crying about the
| streets all the morning."
Hit Him Again.—They killedcra?sus>
the rich old Roman, by pouring his
I own molten gold down his throat.—
| Prentice says that Gen. Rutler’s silver
| spoons should be melted and poured
| down his.
fiSyWhat do you call this ?’ said Mr.
Jones Smith, gently tapping his break
fast with his fork. ‘Calk it?’ snarled
the landlady, ‘What do yob call it?’
•Well, really,’said Smith,‘I don’t know.
There is hardly enough hair in it for
mortar, hut there is entirely too much
! if it is intended for hash!’
generally be known, not so much by
what she tella you, as by what she does
not tell you ; for ahe is the last to take
pleasure in mere gossip, or to make
vulgar allusion to the appearance,
dress, or personal habits of her friends
and neighbors.
f^jf-Thai was a very pretty conceit of
a romantic husband and father whose
name was Rose, who named his daugh
ter “Wild,” so that she grew up under
the appellation of “Wild Rose.” But
the fora a nee of the name was sadly
spoiled in a few years, when she mar
ried a man by the name of “Bull."
J9*It seems that the Eud-of-the
World Dr. Cummiugs. made a trilling
error in his calculations concerning
the total destruction to take place in
1867. In revising his work he found
\ that he had overlooked figures which
add something like a million of years
to the race which this mundane sphere
has to run. We feel relieved!
tOrOid X. was an inveterate “dead
head.” He had no possible claim what
ever upon the managers, but he always
got into the theatre without paying.
One night he appeared at the door, as
usual. “Here, I can't pass you.” said
! the doorkeeper in a surly way. “You
■ needujf pass me,” said the irrepressible
|deadhead; “just stand where you are,
and I’ll pass you.” And he did.
jaff-A Mr. Jones has recently revived
the phonetic system in England. It is
I only prejudice of the eye. says Mr.
Jones, that keeps us from saying; ‘Dio
11 gave Jae a kic, when Jac gave Die a
. noc on the bac with a thic slic.’
guT A gentlemen called to see a ten
1 ernent that was to be let. It was shown
• him by a pretty, chatty woman, whose
* manners charmed her visitor. ‘Are
you to be let, too?’ inquired he. with a
' languishing look. ‘Yes.’ said she, I
am : Vtd to be let