pcs 3lrc Citizen.
PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY.
i OFFICE—BURSA VISTA STltEKT.
-.
Our Joh Printing Department.
We have supplied ourselves with ft good
assortment of Printing Material and are
ready to esecute all kiuda of Job Printing,
on reasonable (erins.
We are prepared to print Pamphlets. Cata
logues. Posters, large or email, Cards, Ball
Tickets. Bill Heads, Blanks of every doscrip-1
on. for Clerks. Sheriffs, Justices of the '
Peace, Constables, Sc.
POE & MATHEWS, Proprietors. [established September, 1804.] $2 50 PER ANNUM—In Advance. •
VOLUME 3.DPiS ARC, ARKANSAS, MAY 16, 1868. _NUMBER IQ,
I RATES OF ADVERTISING.
One square (10 lines of this §i*e type) for
one ipsertion, $1: each additional insertion,
75 cents.
11 m. | 2m. | « m. | 6 m. |1 year
1 Square, $Toi7~$i> (J0|&r<j0i*12 0t' $2o~og
2 Squares, 6 00 9 00 12 00 20 00 33 00
3 Squares, 9 00 12 00 16 00 26 00 46 00
4 Squares. 11 00 14 00 17 00 27 00 48 00
Advertisers by the year will be restricted
to their legitimate business.
Personal communications charged double
Legal advertisements will be charged, for
one square or less, first insertion $1, and 76
cents per square for each additional insertion,
Advertisements not ordered for a specified
time, will be inserted till forbidden, and
charged for accordingly.
AH advertising due after second insertion.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
Z. P. H. FARR,
ATTORUST AT LAW
LITTLE ROCK, ARKANSAS.
H. I*. Vauglian.
ATTORNEY AT LAW
AND
SOLICITORS IN CHANCERY,
DES ARC, ARKANSAS.
WILL practice in the Courts of the countie
of Prairie, White, Jackson, Woodruff am
Monroe. Particular attention given to thi
collection of claims any where in the State.
sepTtf.
T. E. EMERSON.
ATTORNEY AT LAW
AND GENERAL LAND AGENT
AUSTIN, PRAIRIE COUNTY, ARK.
.Special attention given to the collectioi
and securing claims, buying and selling lands
paying taxes, exatuing titles, &c. aprii 1
J. K. P. ALDRIDGE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Cotton Plant, Arkansas.
Will practice in the Circuit Court* o
Woodruff county, and tlie Circuit Courts o
the seventh indicia', I'istriet, and give promp
attention to all business entrusted to hi
care. janlU
R. 8. GANTT. W. j. BttOS’AVGU
GANTT An BRONAUGH,
AVT0IU5SYS AT LAW,
Will practice iu the counties of .Prairie
White, Woodruff. Monroe, Arkansas and Pu
laski. Prompt atttention given to the collec
tion of claims Taxes will be paid and title!
investigated for non-residents. aprl4-3n
J. E. GATEWOOD, J. S. THOMAS,
GATEW03D & THOMAS,
AtTQ&WMta At
I,ES IRC, .4RK.IXS.18.
TAMES H. l’ATTEl'.SON, ttCtAK ('. OACSE,
Augusta, Ark. Jacksonpart, Ark.
Patterson & Gausc,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
dafkftONfmH and Aligns a*, Arkansas.
\Vti.L practice in the Counties of Woodrufl’
Jackson, Independence, White. Lawrence
Randolph, Green. Craighead and Cress, am
attend to special cases in any part of tlu
State. Address either offtec. mylS-lj
J. C. JONSOX, Office—West Point, Arkansas
JXO. M. MOOUE, Office—Searcy, Arkansas
JOVSOV & MOORE,
Attorneys at Law,
SOLICITORS IN CHAN CERT
—AND—
General Land and Collecting Agents,
SEAHt A Tl Ii. AN8A8.
Will give prompt attention to any buaines
in the counties of Independence, Jackson
Woodruff, Monroe, Prairie, White, Conwa.
and Van Buren. tnarO
S ^ W
_ J ^ <m
%i 2 0
si » s m
3: « HH bs 6P
s 5 * • g . S' m
It Eg 1 * *
;§ gS g | s m
u -5 • ~ ™ 2
c ; | j § ^ ^
2 § r 8 02 ?
irss- 2 * &
% g w p * is
8 i j fi 8 I *
1* • 9 & § 01 *
3 S o 5
: " g £ ^ ; sr*
i i s •
I CP W
P
a P
S *|
__________ y —
——aambaagMMMMHMHBi
new hotel
l\ DEVALL’S BLUFF, AKK.
THE “ATI.Afi IIOTKIi.”
18 NOW OPEN for the accomnu
elution of tlie travelling public excli
sively. The Tables will be Bupplie
with the choicest tho market aUoru
Our accommodating and genial inem
J. M. McCliutock, is proprietor. A
who patronize him will go awa
“laughing fat." j»u!1
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
SIMON. P. BIONICS. WM. W. SMITH.
■ITCHES & SMITH,
i ATTORNEYS AT LAW
-AND
REAL ESTATE AGENTS,
CLARENDON, ARK.
SOL. r. CLARK. 8AM. W. WILLIAMS.
JOE. W. MARTIN.
CLARK. WILLIAMS & MARTIN,
Attoraeys at Law,
' LITTLE ROCK, ARKANSAS.
WILL practice in all the Courts, prosecute
Claims of all kiuds, collect debts, and
| act as Heal Estate and General Agents.
j Officr—Markham Street, ncAr St&te tTblise.
april28-tf
i-------—
JAMES J. GALLAGHER.
Attorney at Law,
COTTON PLANT, WOODRUFF CO. ARK.
"Will practice where called.
8ep28-tf.
DR. J. VT. BDIUTBY,
Being permanently located at Des. Arc,
will continue the practice of his profession in
‘ all its branches.
umce ni vui. a
D?.. ALLSIT
Offers his services to the citizens of
| lies Arc and vicinity in the practice of i
medicine. Thankful for past favors,
and b.v attention to business he expects
, to share a liberal prtronage.
Office—At his residence—late thfe
residence of W. G. Frith. scp21
_
DR. ROB'T. B. TREZEVANT,
Tenders his professional services to
the citizens of lies Arc a,id vicinity.
Office—At It. F. Johnson Ilrug Store.
*cp21
Dr. R. B. SHELBY,
riAKXUUS his professiobhl services to the
1 Oitixens of Des Arc and surrounding
country, in the practice of Medicine and Ob- |
stotries. He hopes tVdm an experience of
over fifteen years in Southern practice, to
merit a share of public patronage.
Ottice one door East of Burney’s Drug
Store. in arc h‘28-1868- Iy j
B. IP. Johnson.
DRUGGI9 T,
DES ARC, ARKANSAS.
KEEP on band a large assortment of Drugs* |
Medicines, Paints, Oils. Perfumery,
j Patent Medicines, Wines, Brandies, Whiskey,
for medical purposes, which he will sell low.
! Prescriptions and orders filled promptly.
Terms cash. fob. 15, 18C8.
DmJGrS!
A WELL SELECTED STOCK OF
FRESH DRUGS,
MEDICINES AND CHEMICAS,
I
* School Hook* and Stationery,
* Paints, Oils, Dye-Stuffs, Window-Glass, Per
; fumery, Patent Medicines, Wines, Brandies,
’ Whiskey, for medicinal purposes.
Dromgoole’s ctdebrated Southern Remedies,
invariably for cash, at small profits.
jul21 J. JI. II1RNEY.
COODY & McRAE,
ATTOAS?®TT AT &AW
SEARCY, WHITE COl’KTY,
AllKANMAH.
Will practice in all the courts of Arkansas.
iuar24
P. LEPTIEN,
DES ARC. ARKANSAS.
I AM NOW PREPARED TO DO ALL
kinds of work in my line. Mend
ing, Cleaning. Ac.
_Thankful for past favors, T solicit a
continuance of the patronage hcretofor, be
stowed on me. feb28-tf
ENTERTAINMENT?!
a mHE UNDERSIGNED HAVING AmA
1 opened a House of Enter- .E9.
talnment, «n Hnena Vista Street, near
tbe Steamboat Landiug, for the accommoda
tion of
TRAVELERS AND BOARDERS.
l\y the day, week, or month, solicit* the pat
ronage of those visiting Des Arc. The fare
‘ will be as good as the market affords, and
!* terms moderate.
i, (live me a trial, and I will endeavor to give
I satisfaction.
v ; BENJAMIN HAYLEV.
Pet Arc, Ark., March 28, l»67-.]2m
1 Prom the Chimney Corner.]
LIP AM JOE.
CHAPTER I.
AH over the country, gathered on
beggarly “reservations,” or straggling
through life as solitary individuals, are
to be found the relics of once numer
i ous and powerful Indian tribes. At
! the time of our story, there still linger
I ed, as now, a few bands of the Lipans,
who once disputed a large share of the
Texas hunting grounds with the Co
manchcs, but the nation was already
fast becoming scattered ahd Weakened,
and must now soon disappear even
ftom the long memory of the pension
list at the Indian Office. The planta
tions on the Brazos wete attracting a
good deal Of attehti'On, jttst then, and
not a few men of wealth were turning
in that direction, as well as the usual
drifting medley of idle fellows, and
Worse, who have ever been the curse
of all the pioneer movements in the
Southwest.
A train) singularly composite of
good and bad, and containing some of
those With Whom we have to do in this
story, was already within three or four
days’ travel of Fort Grundy, as wo may
call the long established “post” and
trading station in the vicinity of which
some of the new experiments in cotton
growing were to be tried.
The nucleus around which the mixed
crowd had gathered was composed of
a portion of the worldly goods of a
gentleman, a planter, from Louisiana,
named Murray, who Was following in
At. __I__ C -1. ~ A* L!. 1. ..I 1 1
VI1V Mnv V» DWVO V* UlO IIVUOVIIVIU
goods as were already supposed to be
sate at the m-t.
tic had several wagons, fairly well
laden, a number of good horses, his
son Ilarry, his daughter Rosa, two ne
gro men and a girl-, besides the hired
teamsters of the train.
They had been joined, with genuine
prairie license, by a heterogeneous
crowd of nearly a score of rough fel
lows, half-breeds, gamblers, and othcr
rcckless characters, who seemed to be
guided further west quite as mUcb bv
an instinct that they were not wanted
in the older settlements as by anything
else-.
These tncu were all more or less well
arhvctl attd Mounted-, and, aB they were
of Unquestionable lighting character,
constituted a very tolerable guard to a
train in moving thpnngh a smnpwhnt I
unsettled section of couutry like that,
Mr. Murray himself, a tall-, hand
some, elderly gentleman-, a very fail
type of his class, Was bestowing some
extra attention upon his teams, as the
train was halted for the usual noon
day rest, Rosa Murray and her dusky
handmaid were cheerily at work pre
paring for the dinner which i’ctc and
CWsar Were cooking over a quick fire
of buffalo chips, and Ilarry, a curly
lieadcd, merry-eyed, but rather indo
lent specimen of a young Southerner,
stood at the further side of the little
group of trees among which they had
made their resting-place, in seemingly
rather earnest conversation witli a man
of somo thirty summers, whose bronzed
and striking countenance, no less than
his buckskin habiliments, proclaimed
him no strauger to the plains, though
he was evidently ucilhcr “rough” nor
ruffian.
“And so, Lanman,” said Harry, “you
say you think there is some ground for
these reports of Indiau difficulties ?”
“Yes, and I havo been talking it over
with Lipan Joe. He is always pretty
well posted. Xo doubt, there are only
some marauding bauds, who will nev
er venture near the fort, but they may
give some trouble to parties of immi
grants,” said the man in the buckskin
suit.
“Parties like, our own?”
“Xo, hardly that; we are too strong.
Xot that some of the fellows over yon
der arc not as bad as the Comanche*
themselves, and your teamsters are a
wretched set. 1 shall be glad, tor your
sake, to see you safe uuder the guns of
Fort Grundy.”
narry gave an uneasy iouk at mu
fnir face ami girlish form of his sister,
owning to himselt a somewhat similar
wish.
“You are a gentleman, Lanrnau,”
said he, “and can understand that nei
ther my father nor myself care to have
nnything iu common with a crew like
that.”
“Yes, my friend,” was the reply;
“but you must be more careful. Nei
1 ther you nor I are over and above pop
ular in camp just at this time.”
“Ha! Here comes Lipan Joe to
speak for himself.”
As Harry said this, they were ap
1 proached by a not very tall, but broad
shouldered, athletic, dark-visaged In
dian, nearly “half white” in his dress,
but evidently of unmixed blood.
“What’s up now, Lipan ?" asked
' Lanman. “You look as if you had
something to say.”
“No talk now,” said the Indian;
' “bimeby talk much. All wait. Think
bad. No like him.”
“Comanches coming?”
“Mcbbe so. No talk now. Keep
both eye wide opeu.”
And with this not very intelligible
warning, the iron-faced warrior stalk
ed away.
“By-the-wav,” said Lanman, after
both of them had for a moment pon
dered in silence the Llpan’s communi
cation, “yon did not tell me how you
fell in with Joe. He is no common
, redskin, but I must say, though I have
known him a long time, I never kuey
him to take to palefaces before as hs
seems to do to you.”
“Oh,” said Harry, “they had him up
for stealing at the lower fort, and were
going to flog him, but Roscy and the 1
old gentleman bogged him off. The
officer in command was an old friend i
of ours.”
“Why, Lipan Joe is no thief,” said
Lanman ; “he’s one of the few honest.
Indians I ever did know—except in a
horse trade.”
“It turned out afterward, that he
wasn’t guilty, but he is grateful to his
friends just the same. He may make
himself of some use to us yet.”
“Indeed he hiay I” said Lanman.
Just then the summons came to din
ner, And Harry invited his strange
friend to join the little family party.
It was quite a matter of curiosity,
though hnckpressed in hiB presence,
to all of them, how such a man as Lan
man came to bo a wanderer on that
frontier. Had they known more of
such things, they Would have been
aware that many a refined and educa
ted “gentleman and scholar” clings to
the Wild life of the plains for the sheer
love of the thing, aud many another
has sufficient reasons in some dark pa
ges Of his previous history.
Lanman might have belonged to
either of these classes—or to neither—
but at all events, he was entirely at
home among them-, ahd his manly, tho’
somewhat gloomy beauty of form and
face, did not render his frank courtesy
of manner the less Attractive.
I
CHAPTRR IP.
The horses and mules Were being
“herded” on the luxuriant grass of the !
prairie, at a short distance from the '
temporary camp, aud among them,
shortly after their rude meal had been
dispatched, strolled three tor four
brawny, unkempt, brutal looking fel
lows, whose conversation, garnished as
it was with uncouth slang and number
less onths, was carried on in low tones,
as if they meant its meaning to reach
no other ears.
“Oh, never mind the redskin,” said
one; "lie Was raised on scalpin' an'!
hoss-stealin’, aud this ycr job’ll jest
suit his nutur. 'Sides, if he don't, it
only makes one more to put under.”
“This 'ere.Comanche business collies
jest in time,” said another. “The hull
business kin he laid to them, only we
must look nut an' make clean w«rk ’
“All but the gal!" exclaimed a third.
“Cut the old aristocrat's throat for him.
but tlit? gM*S ft lfcftp too good-looking
for that.”
“Never you worry ’bout the gal!
But what ar' we to do with Charlie
Bauman ! He’s likely to give us some
trouble.”
“He must be the very first one 'tend
ed to. Thar's a heap o’ danger in that
feller, an' half of our hoys ar’ as feared
as deatli on him.”
“That’s so! Reckon we can lix our
little biz about daylight to-morrow.
Cit T.ipan Joe to put his knife into
I,anman when Ids turn to watch comes,
an'we kill he waked up to 'tend to the
rest.” j
“That's about it, l reckon.”
And so the hideous plot unveiled it
self, with plunder us its object and
blood as its method, not one of the ■
miscreants who planned it being *
troubled by any scruples of conscience |
on the subject.
The negroes might either he sold or I
“wiped out,” while the four-legged
booty, as well as the rest, might he 1
readily turned into dollars on the other
side of the Rio Grande.
Mr. Murray’s evil genius must have
stock at his elbow when lie engaged
his teamsters for that trip, and the
arch-enemy himself have conspired in
bringing to their aid on short notice
the very worst gang that ever “boiled
over” from Arkansas and the Indian
Territory into the ill-starred, “lawless
counties” of the Brazos country. m
The haughty planter chatted with
I his daughter, fondly udmiriiur her
growing loveliness, and dreaming of,
the spreading acres of the new domain
which, he intended, should repair the
inheritance so badly damaged by spec
ulations and profuse extravagance, lit
tle imagining that both she and it were j
threatened by such fearful and immi
neut peril.
A short journey was still to be made
that day, and after a sutHcient rest the 1
teams were hitched up and the trail :
I was resumed.
CHAPTEli III.
Never was a robbery planned more
eutirely feasible than than the propos
ed plunder and destruction of Mr.
Murray and his defenceless little party.
Even Lanmau had no suspicion of;
the possibility of such a purpose in the
minds of tho rough and evil-looking
desperadoes around him, many of
whom were already well known to
him, personally or by reputation.
Lipan Joe, however, seemed instinct
1 ively inclined to confer with the young
adveuturer rattier than with either the
f planter or his son, and found sutHcient
' opportunity, while on the march, to do
l so without arousing the suspicious of
the rest.
Indeed, he had been advised by them
i to do all in his power to luaiutatn an
appearance of the utmost friendship
with their intended victims.
Conscious that many keen eyes were
on him, T.aiiiuan never changed a tints-*
ele as he listened to the fearful disclos
ure, but poiuted occasionally to vari
ous objects on the prairies near them,
as if the conversation had been of the
1 most trivial character.
When, however, in due course, the
same information was transmitted tc
Mr. Murray, the rage or the hot-tem
pered old planter came very near
bringing on a catastrophe.
Harry Murray, however, had a good
deal of cool good sense, and this way
side consultation ended in leaving the
whole matter to hint and Lanmau.
The value of tho wagons and their
contents, of course, hardly entered
into the consideration, the main thing
being to avoid the present danger and
reach the fort.
Itosa Murrayls fair face blanched for
a moment when her brother explained
their danger, but she was a brave girl,
and instantly declared her readiness
to do her part as became her.
“Lipaii doe Will help us? ’asked she.
“Yes, and for your sakd, I think."
“And Mr. Lanman ?”
“Yes, but not for anybody’s sake in
particular,” ansW'ered l\arrv.
“Well, Harry, if he does act as our
friend we need not laugh at him,” ex
claimed Hosa. “I must say that I
don’t like his stern, gloomy face-, but
he is just the mail to take us to the
fort.”
“He’s a ittysteiW, lie is,” said Harry;
“but I do like his stern, gloomy face.
As for the rest, I agree witli you.”
The few miles, which Was decittcd
wise in stich stlltrWdather, were fin
ished long before sunset, and the camp
was pitched for the night in a grove,
by a flowing spring, which had served
many another “caravan” for the same
purpose-.
Lanman took care that even more
I ban the usual distance should be pre
served, uoi only oei ween me mile lems
that served tlie Murrays for Sleeping
apartments and the general bivouac,
but also between the horse corrals of
the planters and the would-be robbers.
Supper was cooked and eaten in the
usual manner, and nothing had yet oc
curred to arouse any suspicions among
the plotters that their victims were not
at their mercy.
Darkness mine, and the stars came
nut, unattended as yet by any moon,
and the silence was almost oppressive
to the anxious hearts of those who
knew lioav milch might depend Upon
the next few hours.
The ruffians put on a more than usual
semblance of weariness, and before
!Hill/ tile camn was like ihsrgnin of the
dead.
Steadily and stealthily Harry Mur
ray and his friend labored during the
first few hours, seeing to it that sad
dles, packs, arms, &c., tvere placed in
proper proximity to the steeds-, upon
whom their safety was to depend-.
For a long time Li pan Joe was no
where to bo seen. One of the men
volunteered the information that “the
durned redskin war out a scoutin'
somewhars,” but no one seemed to
have kept track of him.
About midnight, however, as Lan
man lay in the grass among the horses,
wearily waiting the moment for action,
a hand was laid upon his shoulder, and
a well-known voice whispered:
“Now, come! Comanche on prairie.
Stempcde cam^i heforo long. No wait.
Good time get away.”
No time was lost after that. The
saddles were noiselessly adjusted, the
sleeping negroes awakened and bidden
to take their places in silence, and ail
tilings woro put in readiuess for the
signal of the faithful Lipan. It was
iiidceil necessary to trust Qll to him,
whether they would or no.
“Yes, Miss Murray,” said Lanman,
in reply to a question, “you can trust
him.”
“Hut you, Mr. Lanman?”
“You need not trust me.”
“Do not misunderstand me. I mean
Hint you are running a great risk on
our account, and we have no claim on
you.”
“No—no claim; my own fate, 01
yours, either, is of no consequenc, tc
me. 1 rather prefer to save you, how
ever.”
ltosa Murray looked at tho spcakei
in amazement as her keen, womanly
intuition detected the bitterness in hit
voice.
•‘Then we will try and do withoni
your help, sir,” said she, rather tartly
‘•I don't think you can do that very
well just now,” said he, coolly; “bu
you need not annoy yourself; your lift
and Harry’s are worth something, uuc
mine is not. You havo hope and a fu
lure, while I have not. It is, therefore
only an act of common politeness oi
my part to risk such a useless thing a:
my own throat for your preservation
Come, it is time to he moving! Si
lence, now; no noise!”
Lanniau had heard the“locust cry’
of Lipan Joe, and knew that the deci
sive moment wns at hand. Harry anc
his father were already among tin
horses.
ltosa had been placed in their care
and her sombre friend was busy witl
necessary preparations at a distance o
some yards, when his practiced eai
was startled by a rustle near him Ii
the grass.
Lipan Joe was near, putting the sad
die on Ids horse.
Again the locust cry, keen, dry, ant
shrill, sounded on tho night air and the
girth was left for a moment unbuckled
while the Lipan seemed to disappea:
among the tufts of the prairie grass, a:
if by magic.
Laumaa neither turned his head noi
spoke, but, in a few moments, the rus
tie was repeated,•veil nearer to him
and then came a sound as of a quick
f
fierce struggle between two voiceless
antagonists, terminating "in a wild,
gurgling cry.
That Comanche siampeder had done
his best to sound his death-whoop, bul
had only aroused the camp.
No, more than that—he hastened the
work ofhis comrades, for his choked
and feeble yell was answered by many
wild voices from the opposite side ol
the camp, near the other “corral.”
Of course, the roughs sprang to arms,
but their first movement was for the
security of their own horses, and they
were only just in time,
j “Walk 1” said Lipan Joe, as he rose
from the grass at Lanhian’s side. “No
i ride yet! Quick! Comanche all on
Oder side camp.”
Even KPsa led her own pet steed, as
the doubly imperiled little party now
made their way out into the darkness.
Behind theUl r'Ps'6 tho hideous yells
of the Comanchcs and the ringing rifle
I shots of the motley gang of despera
! docs, while before them the shadows
■ seemed almost impenetrable.
| Silence Was their best safety, and
! several hundred yards had be'oh gained
| when liosa suddenly missed the tall
form which had thus far walked so
i near her, and noticed that her father
! and brother were each leading two
| horses.
Then froni PUt the Shadows heyplid
: came the sound of unknown gutturals,
j as of ludians in conversation, and, fol
j lowing quickly on that, the dull “thud”
l-of blows, shrill war-whoops, dcath
! yells, and the sharp detonation of a
I pistol-shot, and th'ch AH seemed over,
while two forms in buckskin came gli
ding back t'O whero she stood.
“IIoss now ! Quick !” said Lipan Joe.
, “No lose time
“Mount, and ride for your lives!”
i said Lanman. “'We have destroyed
the picket on this side, but we must do
some good traveling before the rest
! know what we have done.”
“IIow many?” asked Harry.
| “Only five!” growled Joe.
“Mercy ! Are you hurt, Mr. L-ipan ?”
asked llosa.
“No hurt me,” said Joe.
I
“Mr. Lanman, are you hurt?” asked
Mr. Murray.
j “Only a scratch,” replied Lanman.
! “It was a cowardly piece of business;
; we took the poor devils by surprise,
I cntirelv. ’
“As they Uuiw* .. - -1 , ** „,, n.
Murray. “All is fair in such a war.
I Hut the noise has ceased at the camp.”
| “Haleface light hard I” said Joe.—To
| be continued.
Ways of'Committing Suicide.
Wearing thin shoes on damp nights
1 in rainy weather.
Leading a life of cufcebling, stupid
laziness, and keeping the mind in a
round of unnatural excitement In
reading trashy novels.
Going to balls in all sorts of weather
in the thinnest possible dress. Dancing
till in a complete perspiration, then
going home through the damp air.
Sleeping on feather beds iu seven-by
uinc bed-rooms.
Surfoitiug on hot and very highly
stimulating suppers.
Marrying iu haste, getting an uncon
geuial companion, aud living the rest
of life in mutual dissatisfaction.
Eating without time to masticate the
j food.
Allowing love of gain to so absorb
, our minds as to leave no time to attend
j to our health.
Following an unhealthy occupation
j because money cau be made by it. •
! Tempting the appetite with nicotic:
' when the stomach says no.
Contriving to keep iu a continue
| worry about something or nothing.
Retiring in the small hours and ris
iug at noon.
Neglecting to take proper care o
ourselves when a simple diseaso firs
! appears.
llow tu be an Editor.
An editor once said to a young mai
who was about to wed the scissors am
paste :
"Aly young menu, you are about t<
become I learn, an editor of a news
paper. Permit an old man to giv<
this piece of advice. If you desir
| success in that capacity, you should, ii
'each paper, publish one column fori
sensible man, and two for a fool.”
. | ’
It has been truthfully remarked, tha
the old matt had measured well th
public. lie had calculated the capaclt;
! of the lines he had to till, and he kuev
what each one would hold. The pub
lie have not changed much. Whih
one man reads a moral essay, u dozci
i will drown his voice with laughtc
over an absurdity. A majority ot tin
( people don’t take the papers to learn
, they take them to laugh, to enjoy tin
music and mirth of a hearty guffaw
they want something to provoke it
| and that something they must have 01
r they won’t take the papor.
jejf Experienced and scientific Vcte
Hilary Surgeons recommend the fol
: lowing as the most successful treat
' incut of sweeuy: Alcohol, IS- gill
: turpentine, b,' gill; hartshorne, >4 gill
sweet oil, gill; oil of organum, V
gill; oil of wormwood, of an ounce
Apply this mixture twice a day to thi
part afflicted, carefully, as wherever i
comes in contact with the skin the hai
is temporarily takuu off. (irease th
sore parts well, aud after a few applicu
i {tions cease to bathe to once per day.
, Monkt Fakmkk.
Why he Heat fo Church.
I Judge-of a city not a thousand
j miles from here, is an able judge and a
I pious man. lie knows for what the
! Island of Jamaica is chiefly celebrated,
j Disdaining to imbibe perpendicularly
| in bar-rooms, he keeps a demijohn of
| conceded Otard in his office, and there
! slakes his thirst as inclination prompts.
On Sunday mornings the Judge would
say:
“Well, Rufus, going to the First
Presbyterian this morning?”
“No, father, I reckon I’ll go to the
Second Methodist.”
But on his way to the edifice, Rufus
uniformly stopped at the office, unlock
ed tho old gentleman's private closet,
and indulged himself of tho pleasant
fluid.
Every Sunday morning the Judge
repeated his laudable inquiry, but
Rufus preferred the Second Methodist.
Tho Judge soon began to notice a
marked diminution in the contents of
| tho demijohn, and rightly suspected
j who was the culprit. The Judge emp
tied the retraining fluid into aiiother
vessel, and placed it in a secluded
place. Next Sunday morning, came
the iisiial interrogatory—
“Well, hufus, going to tho First
Presbyterian this morning:
“NO, father, I reckon I’ll go to the
SCcond Methodist-.’’
On reaching the office and taking
! hold of the demijohn, he not only saw
j with disgust tho empty jug, but noticed
I u> DiiiNii jjiuuu ui wmbc impel uuuuueu
to the liamllc, on which was legibly in
scribed the words—
‘■Second Methodist closed l'or re
pairs.”
After church, falherand son met, and
looking curiously at each Other, smiled
a little smile, but said nothing. The
“repairs” on the Methodist building
have not yet boon completed.
Wonderful Pills.
Barnabas Bassett, M. D. (much
doctor,) chuck full of faith, bloze his
horn, and hi these presents duz bio hiz
horn about hiz ‘Lightning Express and
Serio Sensation pills,” a conifurt and
joy to man.
These pills arc ov rules—ami kost
the author 4 years in the wilderness,
; besides sleepless nights and anxious
days, to get them down to the spot
! without blemish, and fill eel with l'uu.
j - lJiese plus win cure deafness, dip
thern, and dandriff—are good for bald
ness, bronkeeters, anil backsliding—arc
sertin to heel hedakc, hifalutiu and
hangnales—will remove warts, wind
gauls, and wens—destroy all longings
lassitudes and laziness—will sooth the
sorrowful, cam the crazy, and kurc the
common size in 2 minits.
They are eluss packed in little rouud
boxes, and each, littlojiox koutancs 2
duz and 2 or no sail.
Each box is dun up in a trakt, which
sez they are.surc to kurc as lightning
is to strike what it starts for.
On the top of the box is a full sized
painting of the author, with the grub
hoc in one hand, and a hull passcl uv
rutes in the other, with a knapsack on
his back, and mountains in the distance,
to which he iz pinting with the grub
hoe—them is the mountains wliar he
gits the rules.
On the top ov each little box is—
theso words, in furrin lung, “llocus
pocus hHUd conslautus,” which being
biled ilo^vu, means purely vegetable.’
Josh Billings.
--
A Happy Illustration.
In a recent speech at Brooklyn, Xcw
York, Gov. Seymour made the follow
ing capital hit at the Radical policy of
regulating all the thoughts aud actions
. of men by law :
“Our Republican friends believe in
■ the power of government to do that
whicli we believe is best done by every
man's own honest convictious of right.
But l assert in the language of Miltou,
who was not ouly a great poet, but i\
i great statesman, that you have no great
civilization in any laud where men are
nnnreeil in nil actions of their life. 1
i ouco asked a gentleman If he believed
■ in the system of coercion so completely
. that if a man would not driuk for ten
: years because the law would not let
i hint, he would bo a temperance man
i thereafter, lie said he did. I said,
: “suppose you make a law so perfect
t' that he would not be guilty of any
> misdemeanor whatever, would you not
• consider that better still?” Ho said he
would. “Suppose you make a law so
• perfect that ho shall rise, retire, labor
i regularly, read his Bible every day in
i his bedroom, and go to church twice a
• day every Sunday, eugage in no im
! I moral conversation, and he subjected
to no temptations—would uot he be
the perfection of your system V lie
admitted that it would. “Well, ray
friend,” said I. “if you go down to Sing
Sing Penitentiary you will find a thou
sand men there living under yob
system, and if ono of them escaped to
morrow and your house was burned,
lie would bo the first man you would
arrest.
_
-In the Cathedral at Cleveland,
Ohio, on Sunday last, the rite of confir
' tnation was performed by Bishop liappe
upon three hundred and fifty children
and one hundred and fifty adults, of
whome fifty were said to be “converts”
’ from Protestanisui. Al least two thou
- sand people were assembled outside the
■ | edifice, unable, by reasun of the crowd, to
gain admittance.
SAt.tlU; IMM.
clock of the tongue should
set by the dial of the heart.
>t^*Tanry runs most furiously when
a guilty conscience drives it.
I&~A wise book is a true friend; its
author, a public benefactor.
4&*It is more easy to be vtlsc for
others than for ourselves.
(0~To taste Of Paradise, all that is
necessary is to taste of Virtue.
jg^Thcreis much difference between
imitating a good man, and counter
feiting him.
t&"The speaker tVho “took the floor"
has been arrested for stealing lumber.
fSfWhy are good resolutions like
fainting ladies? They - ^pfciit carrying
out. -
fQfWhat would this world be with
out woman? A perfect blank—like a
piece of paper—not even ruled.
Igy-Josh Billings says two old maids
kissing each other looks like “ttvo old
flints trying to strike Are.”
t&'Wby is a pig in a parlor like rt
house on fire? Because the sooner it is
put out, the better.
J9*An old maid speaking of mar
riage says it is like any other disease
while there is life there is hope:
J®*“I know every i'bcfc bn this
coast,” cried an Irish pilot. At that
moment the ship struck, when he ex
claimed, “and that’s one of them.”
J®““Oh she was a jewel of a tviffe!”
said Pat. mourning over the loss of his
better half; •'She Always struck me
with the soft end of the mop !”
|£?*Every man will be yctir friend
as long as you have money to spend.
Always moderate as far as possi
ble uukiuduess expressed towards
others.
ls?“As bees can breed no poison,
though they suck the deadliest juices,
so the noble mind, though forced to
drain tlio cup of misery, can yield but
generous thoughts and noble deeds.
Death.—It is doubtless hard to die ;
blit it is agreeable td hope We shall not
live ilei'C forever, and that a better life
will put end to the troubles of this.
If we were offered immortality on
earth, who is there would accept so
melancholy u gift? What resourco,
what hope, what consolation would
tluiu Dv tvft 4i,n
tunc and the injustice of man 7
JQjrWhat was true with ancients, is
true with us—that a man must have a
love for his calling if he wishes to
succeed eminently. lie then has an
inclination to urge him on, which is an
ever-present inducement, making his
work light, a pleasure, and not a task.
Such a man cannot well avoid success.
|g?*Life, to be worthy of a rational
being, must be always in prpgression:
we must always purpose to do more or
better than in past times. The mind is
enlarged and elevated by mere pur
poses, though they end as they begin,
by airy contemplation. We compare
and judge, though we do not practise.
IS?* ‘Papa, didu't you whip me onco
for bittng little Tommy?’ ‘Yes, my
dear, you hurt him very much.’ ‘Well,
then, papa, you ought to whip sister's
music master, too ; he bit sister yester
day afternoon right on the mouth, and
I know it hurt her, because she put her
amis around his neck and tried to
choke him.’
H?*Said an Irish Justice to an ob
streperous prisoner on trial: ‘We
want uothing from you hut silence,
and hut little of that.’
|^- The pursuit of knowledge under
difficulties—trying to master the Ger
man language by drinking lager beer
and eating sonr-lpout.
•c?-Mark Twain enters flic Ball,
Akers and Florence Percy controversy
about the authorship of “Rock mo
to sleep,’’ and demolishes Mr. Ball, the
noisiest competitor in the following
measured strain: “Backward, sliced
backward, ohBall, in ronr flight I
Make not an as* of yoursolf—(Just for
to uight;) pull tho silver thread out of
your hair, fill up and varnish those
furrows of care—care that was born of
attempting Fame’s steep, which you
couldn't climb, Ball, whom nouo rock
ed to sleep. O, Bally, come back from
the echoing shore! Cease for a season
the public to bore, with your infumons
rhymes and your stupid complaint, for
you kuow you are claiming, to be that
Which you ain't. Oh, drivel no morel
—don’t sniffle, don’t Weep—hang up
your lyre, Ball—I’ll rock you to sleep."
The Aik.—The quality of the air wc
breathe, and its Influence upon health,
are the first in importance of all the
sanitary considerations to which the
attention of tnaukiud can be given.
This will not be disputed, when it is
feraembered that no man can live more
than throe minutes if wholly deprived
of air, and that to maintain the blood
In perfect purity, every person requires
an average of eighteen pints every
rniuutc, which is equal to about sixty
hogsheads full every twenty-four
hours. If the air inhaled contains any
impurity, or is iu a degree depraved of
its natural properties an immediate
evil effect is produced and to no sin
glc circumstance is the great number
of diseases by which mankind is afllic
ted, or tho brevity of human life,
especially of infants, more directly
attributable than to impurity of air.
5 ^.—- - )