NEWPORT DAILY INDEPENDENT
PERCY H. VAN DYKE, Publlihtr »nd Editor.
NEWPORT, - • ARKANSAS.
WIDOW IN A HURRY.
She Handed the Obnequiea AlnnK and
Got in I.lne for n Iletter
Man.
“I whs stopping for u couple of days
with Uncle Rube Oliver amongi the
Cumberland mountains,” remarked
our southern tramp, according to the
Detroit Free Press, “when a boy
brought word that a squatter living
about a mile away was dead. Uncle
Rube and I went over and found the
news to be true, although neither wife
nor children seemed to appreciate the
situation. She said the funeral would
be next day, and as no preacher was
to be had nearer than eight miles she
asked me if I couldn’t attend and
make a few remarks.
“ ‘I would like to oblige you,’ I re
plied, ‘but there must be others who
can do better. I should hardly know
what to say about the late lamented.’
“‘Whose that?’ she queried.
“ ‘Why, your husband.’
“‘Well, 1 can tell yo’ what to say.
lie was mighty slack on hard work,
and mighty ambitious on the hunt. He
was alius expectin’ to die, but didn’t
git nround to it till last night. While
he didn’t go much on religun, he didn’t
• steal co’n. That’s about all you can
say about Tom.’
‘‘‘Yes?’ i
Yo can say aoont tne enmiren
that there is five of ’em, and all need to
be whopped a dozen times a day.’
“ ‘Yes’m.’
“ ‘That’ll be enough about the chil
dren. Then yo’ can say that thar’s a
good cabin and two acres of co’n and
three of potatoes and a mewl on this
’ere squat.’
“ ‘Yes’m.’
“ ‘That’ll be enough about the squat.
Then yo’ can turn to me and say that
I’m healthy, lovin’, hard-workin’ and
savin’, and that the right kind of a
critter who comes along will find the
right kind of a critter waitin’ to walk
eight miles and back with him to git
married.’
“I made an excuse that T must re
sume my j urney next day, and that
Uncle Ttuhe would probably fill the
bill, and she shook hands and replied:
“ ‘That’s all right, and ns yo’ jog
along yo’ might jest mention that Tom
Henderson has departed this life, and
his widder kin be found day or night
at the old stand and prepn, to re
place him with a better..’ ”
. POINTS ABOUT THE BED.
'--“'1*- -
of Iron, White Ennmelfil,
Are Cheap mid Dainty—Im
provements In Clothes.
Too much care cannot be expended
in making the bed as comfortable
and sleep inducing as possible. In
regard to the bed itself, brass or iron
beds are superior in every way to the
old fashioned beds of wood. Brass
beds are the ideal beds, but are, of
course, more expensive than the
wooden beds, and when painted white
are extremely dainty, says the New
York Tribune.
Sermons have been preached from
time immemorial on the evils and dis
comforts of feather mattresses and
pillows. In spite of this country peo
ple still adhere to their feather beds,
either on the score of economy or
owing to instilled prejudice against
“new fangled notions.”
There have been decided improve
ments in sheets and pillow and bols
ter covers during the last score of
venrs. All sheets are now double
width, and pillow and bolster covers
of tubular weave, that does away
with the seam at the sides and re
duces the making of sheets and pil
low covers to the mere hemming of
the edges. The best sheeting is a
coarse cotton or linen of a heavy tex
ture and of an even weave. For
bolster and pillow covers get a finer
texture, whether of cotton or linen.
Fine bed blankets are to-day so low
in price that there is no necessity for
making cotton comfortables for
pieced quilts. The eiderdown quilt is
beyond the reach of any but the
wealthy, but the arctic down quilt,
which takes its place, is nearly as
light and warm a bed covering and
decidedly cheap in comparison. The
objection to these quilts is the same
as the objection to cotton com
fortables—they cannot be washed at
home, and it costs almost as much
to have them renovated as it does
to replace them. Down comfortables
can be renovated by steam, like a
feather pillow, if sent away, but a
cotton comfortable can never he sat
isfactorily washed, blankets, on the
contrary, are not difficult to wash
and to dry. ,
Spinach Sulnd.
Cook one peek of spinach tender in
one cupful of water. Drain and chop
very fine. Season to taste, and marin
ate with a French dressing. Press
into a square mold, and set away to
get cold. When firm, cut into small
squares, place each one on a tender
lettuce leaf, garnish with a slice of
hard boiled egg, and a spoonful of
mayonnaise.—Home Magazine.
|||:
/
Vilest 'Wretch on Record,
Husband (kindly)—My dear, you
ha ve nothing to wear, have you?
Wife (with alacrity)—No, indeed, I
haven’t; not a thing, l’l be ashamed
to be seen anywhere. My very newest
party dress has been worn three times
already.
Husband—Yes, that’s just what I
told Bliflcins when he offered me two
tickets for the opera to-night. I knew
if I took them they’d only be wasted,
so I just got one. You won’t mind if
I hurry off?—-Tit-Bits.
A Spoilt Story.
Brown (in the middle of tall shoot
ing story)—Hardly had I taken aim
at the lion on my right when I heard
a rustle in the jungle grass, and per
ceived an enormous tiger approach
ing on my left. I now found myself
on the horns o£,a dilemma!
Interesting Little Boy—Oh, and
which did you shoot first—the lion,
or the tiger, or the dilemma?—Lon
don Punch.
THE WRONG PLACE,
. «" TIBottungT.^ r*
l*n\\»wt\ I ..
First Trombone—Ach, do not blay
here. Let us avay.
The Double Bass—But der man in
side said dot we blays here he would
take us. in undt give us a drink.
First Trombone—But dot ist der
drubbles. Dond you see it ist er min
eral vatter boddling vorks. Herrouse
mit uiiv—Chicago Tribune.
nait.
The fisherman, with line and hook.
Hears, as he Idly basks,
The gurgle of the limpid brook—
And eke the limpid flasks.
—Philadelphia Press.
Rovght at Hl« Own Price.
Judkins—I learn that through your
agent you have bought the properties
on either side of your house and got
them cheap. How did you man
age it?
Foxley—Easily enough. My wife Is
an elocutionist, my daughter plays
the piano, George the cornet, I the
violin, Bob the banjo, Charley rattles
the bones and little Johnnie has the
drum.—Tit-Bits.
She AVa» HIs Opal.
She—You know, George, they say
the only gem which cannot be imitated
is the opal.
He—My dear, I have always consid
ered you a.s a jewel, and now I know
what sort, of a jewel you are, for there
is none like you.—Yonkers Statesman.
Honeymoon Trust.
Mrs. Oldun—And do you really be
lieve everything your husband tells
you ?”
Mrs. Newed—To be sure I do. Toni
says he tells me nothing but the
truth about things I should know.—
Chicago Daily News.
Native Pride.
“The greatest race across the At
lantic that I ever heard tell of,” be
gan the racing skipper.
“Is the Irish, of course,” interrupt
ed Hooligan.—Catholic Standard and
Times.
THE X HAT AGAIN.
First Doctor—Capital photograph,
isn't it?
Second Doctor—Flatters the left
lung a little, I think.—Westminster
Budget.
Timely Advice.
Bill—They say rubber is very high.
Jill—Yes; you oug|it to begin and
economize with your neck, my boy! —
Yonkers Statesman.
_. I
He Hnd a Job,
Fred—Now that our college days
are over, what are you going to do
for a living?
Bob—Oh, I’ve accepted a position
with old man Gotrox.
Fred—So? What kind of a posi
tion?
Bob—Son-in-law. — Chicago Daily
News.
GoInK Down Hill,
Miss McSplurge—W’hy do you take
on so over papa’s failure, ma? This
isn’t the first time he has had to call
his creditors together.
Mrs. McSplurge (weeping)—Y-e-s.
-but this tirne he hasn’t failed for
enough to be respectable. Boo, hoo,
hoo!—N. Y. Weekly.
Consolation.
Mrs. Subbub (engaging cook)—I’m
sure you and I will get along togeth
er first-rate, but I want to tell you
right now that my husband is a very
hard man to please.
The Cook—Well, don’t worry, dear;
it’s aisy fer yez t’ git a divoorcc
these days.—Brooklyn Life.
Preparing for Coming Events.
Binks—Why did Risley join the
priesthood—is he grieving so over his
wife’s death ?
Minks—Not he. His wife was a the
os-ophist, and believed in reincarnation.
She prophesied she’d be back in six
years, so Risley’s gone in for celibacy.
—Town Topics.
Her Dear Friends.
Maud—Haven’t you noticed that Isa
bel is ha%ing a good deal of trouble
with her eyes these days?
Mabel—No. How?
Maud—She can’t keep them off that
young Swooper when he happens to be
in her neighborhood.—Chicago Trib
une.
, A Confirmed Pessimist.
Mrsi. Newed (as husband arrives
home from work)—Oh, George! Our
new'cook is a perfect gem! Why. she
already has the kitchen looking like a
parlor.
Mr. Newed—Humph! Expecting com
pany to-night, is she?—Brooklyn Life.
Tlie Way of the World.
“Things are very badly arranged in
this world.”
“How so?”
“Why, the man with the money
usually lacks the digestion and the
man with the digestion seldom has
the money.”—Chicago Post.
GREAT DISADVANTAGE.
__l
m - - -ms ..mu
Maud—I never read serial stories in
newspapers and magazines.
Ethel—Why not?
Matid—Because one can never read
the last chapter first.
Closed llic Incident.
The driver lashed the mule,
To make her travel faster.
The mule, she landed one swift kick—
And got another master.
—Chicago Tribune.
His Preference,
“Which side of your face would you
rather have shown in the picture?”
asked the photographer.
“The outside,” answered the sitter,
who had heard of the advance made in
X-ray photography.—Baltimore Amer
ican.
Doubtful.
Bluffer—I would challenge that cad,
who insulted me, to a duel, if I was sure
of one thing.
Bitter—What’s that?
Bluffer—That he wouldn’t accept the
challenge.—Ohio State Journal.
Not to Ur Overlooked.
“Why, I don’t believe,” her mother
said, “that he has more than one suit
to his name.”
“But,” she answered convincingly,
he has a hyphen to it, you know.”—Chi
cago Record-Herald.
Not Too Exacting.
“Ah! professor, if we could adequate
ly express our admiration!”
“I know eet ees difficult, ladies; but
I am satisfied ven my admirers do ze
best zey can!”—Puck.
A Vegetarian.
Bizzer—Yes, my wife chews the rag
a great deal.
Buzzer—Why, I didn’t know your
wife was a vegetarian!—Ohio Statf
Journal.
WORK ALMOST I>ONE.
Congress Ready i«r Adjournment
at an Early Date.
not the Orator* ire Kept liusy MaU
Ibb CampalK" Speeches nad
‘•Chewing; the Kan" <«r
Partisan Effect.
[Special Washington I.etter ]
The work of the national house
of representatives is substan
tially complete; but there is to
be a lot of talking done m the great
hall during the few days preceding at -
. groat deal of diff-rm,
betyveen public talking and actual de
bating. The difference is yvell defined
bettveen genuine discussion of public
measures and talking for talk’s sake.
in order to be prepared for a political
campaign. The statesmen of all par
ties are guilty of campaign oratory in
congress, yveeks and months before
the beginning of work on the hustings.
The real work of the house of repre
sentatives is done, each year, "hen
revenue bills are pa>sed and appropria-;
tionbillshave been adopted. After that
ail speech making is done for the pur
SENATOR WILLIAM P. FRYE.
(President Pro Tempore of the United
States Senate.)
pose of filling the Congressional Rec
ord with political material for distri
bution over the country during the
congressional campaigns. Under the
existing laws all speeches which ap
pear in the Congressional Record can
be sent through the mails free of
charge, under the frank of a member
of congress. The political managers
have tens of thousands of speeches
printed at thq government printing
office, where the rate is merely nom
inal. The speeches are put up in en
velopes, singly or by the score, and the
franked signature of some member of
congress is stamped on each envelope
by some employe at political head
quarters. Then other employes ad
dress the envelopes to the people in
each congressional district; and the
United States mail carries tons of
matter thus at great public expense.
And this custom will continue as long
as the people themselves send to con
gress men who thus impose upon the
public treasury, by reason of public
credulity.
The constitution devolves upon the
house of representatives the duty of
raising revenue for the support of
the government, and also requires
that all appropriation bills shall
originate in that body. The senate
may concur or amend all such bill-.,
but when the original bills arc sent
from the house to the senate the real
work of the house, the necessary
work, is completed.
While it is constitutionally neces
rary for the house of representatives
to remain in session until the senate
shall have completed its branch of
the work of national legislation, the
members of the house take occasion
to attend to their individual polit
ical affairs, hence the needless am'
almost endless amount of campaign
nrntorv n + fhio -- ^
-- v/i ■ vci y cam
paign year.
In the senate the real work is don
not in open sessions but in the eon,
mittee rooms, it is a time-honored
custom of the senate to always
cept the reports of its committees
and act in accordance with those re
ports. This is practically what k
meant by “senatorial ‘ courtesy”
of which so much is written w,
time to time for the daily newsna
pers. '1 ‘
Presiding over the sessions of the
senate at this time, when national
legislation is nearing completion k
Senator William Pierce !>V(. ’ f
Maine, who was elected president Dr«,
tempore by the senate, after Vj,.(.
President Roosevelt acceded to ti e
presidency. The position of presi
dent pro tempore is a permanent one
even when the vice president is living
and actively engaged in the perfornl
anee of his duties. Very few vic
presidents have performed tlie func
tions of the office in later years. n„r.
mg the administration of President
Hayes the vice president was seldom
in Washington, and rarely presided
over the senate, his work being done
by the vice president pro tempore.
The office of vice president is
thankless one, and the incumbent
'onstnntly feels that he is a nobody,
ivaiting for a contingency which may
,nake him a somebody. The senator*
lo not consult the vice president
about any legislation whatever.
They do not regard him as one of
theiV number, and he is without in
Alienee, unless there happens a tie
vote, in which ease the vice president
casts the deciding vote.
The vice president pro tempore, how
ever is in touch with all legislation, be
cause he is a senator and is chosen to
preside without losing any of his in
fluence in committees and on the floor
„f the senate. Thus, while Senator
Frve isthechosenpresiding*officer,he is
Still u senator from a sovereign state, |
and as such he commands respect u
all legislative affairs. He is consulted
on every measure of importance and
his opinion is of great weight So far
as actual influence on legislation is
concerned the pro tempore presiding d
officer is a great factor, while the vice
president is not a factor, except super
ficially.
The vice president cannot make a
speech nor express an opinion on the
floor of the senate. The constitution *
only pemits him to be the presiding
officer. But the president pro temporiP^pp
may leave his place at any moment,
and as senator from a soverign state
4.>i.-a 4tip floor and address the
senate in his own way, m his own time,
and impress his own individuality upon
current history, because the presiding
officer pro tempore is a somebody,
while the vice president is a nobody.
This is a strange anomaly in our gov
ernment, and is without parallel in the
governments of the world.
Very few vice presidents have been
popular with the men occupying the
white house, and few of them have been
callers there. Vice President Hendricks
was on good terms with President ( leve
land during the first term of that
strong man, until his death. Hut dur
ing the second Cleveland administra
tion Adlai Stevenson was not a fre
quent caller. Mr. Hendricks and Mr.
Cleveland had an understanding be
fore they were elected. Mr. Hendricks
went to New York and informed Mr.
Cleveland that it would be necessary
for him to have the doling out of
patronage for Indiana, in order to car
ry that state, and Mr. Cleveland assent
i ed to the political necessity of that
course. He kept his pledge with Mr.
; Hendricks, therefore there was har
mony between them.
Garrett A. Hobart was popular at the
white house with President McKinley,
; and so was Vice President Hoosevelt,
because Mr. McKinley was a big man
j physically as well as Intellectually, and
j lie had no idea that any vice president
expected to outlive him and get his
j high office. Besides, he loved his, fel
lowmen and had a kindly feeling for
both of the gentlemen who were on the
ticket with him, and no small political
conditions could change the benignity. ,
; of the disposition of that wonderful
man.
It has seldom occurred that vice
presidents have died in office. The first
was George Clinton, who died in Wash
ington November 20,1812. He had been
' ice president almost eight years, serv
^ ing one term with Madison and one
SENATOR GEORGE F. HOAR
(One of the Most Venerable Members of til*
Senate.)
with Jefferson. The f,ir. i , jb
.1 t .. 1 *" itinernl occunvdL ..^J^P
tiie following day fr,m, +. . ,
The eierhi J lrom the eapitol.
.. eight Pallbearers were all revolu
tionary soldiers. The next v •
dential death occurred?™ |)resl*
and was alsoin tk V , ' ',;in'Sla1er’
Madison. Mr. Gerry ] . ''atmn of
the senate on the day m™*"1 °V*T
death, and seemed t„ .2 •P Ced,n» hi»
While on his Cyt^th, R°.°d,1(‘alth
caine HI, return^ m Be*
his boarding house and 5, nage to
within an hour. He’wnVv 1h,ere died
Clinton in the Cono r,.. * >llne<l beside
Washington was thenT”-^™*1®1’7*
than 10,000 inhabitant Clty of less
of the dead Vere ' tS’ the b«dies
those days, for they >mllt -v buried in
to address the sen-.t '\e ^as a riffl>t
is not likely that ho Vn an-V tin,e. it
of the remaining i(insv', Kfeak on any
He spoke frequently ,°Ie that body.
fav<»’ of the ihi; ),i l:n,vig«*'--»-s,y in
ls m.t particularly * *HbKMy bill, but
Philippinesor reoinr, n^erested in the
born September 2P18 ty,,i,,s; H was
71 yearsoltl; but he ill 0nd is almost
•'*0, and walks with O0ks no more than
of 40. He is an eloq,u!!2 'R°r <>f a mun
a Rood presiding (Vrto!iator- He in
oh“lr l» i» dlfnttj ."■‘He in th.
nate. Uy a«d justice incar
smith d. fr¥