A QUESTION OF COLOR
Mrs. Blank had in her employ a color
ed maid who belonged to a “funeral
club,” which binds all its members to
attend every funeral of a member up
on receipt of notification, says the Nau
tilus. One afternoon Dinah’s mistress
saw her come down the stairs, ready
to go out, dressed in a bright scarlet
dress, with a large scarlet willow
plume in her hat and a red parasol in
her hand.
“Why, Dinah, I thought you were
going to a funeral,” said Mrs. Blank.
“Yes, I’se going to the funeral,”
said Dinah.
“But you ought not to wear red to
a funeral,” said Mrs. Blank. “You
ought to be dressed quietly in a dark
dress!” Dinah poked the toe of her
shoe with her parasol. “Well, ah,
reckon I won’t go back and change
now ; I’ll just wear this.”
Some three weeks after this Dinah
approached her mistress and told her
she was going to be married. Mrs.
Blank expressed her astonishment
that Dinah even had an admirer.
Dinah simpered and twisted the cor
ner of her apron and said: “No, I
didn’t have one until just lately! Does
you remember that funeral Ah went to
one time when I wore my red dress?
Well, missus, dat shade of red done
ketched de eye ob de corpse’s hus
band !”
NEED A FRIEND
This story is told by a man who has
an old negro working round his place
on Long Island. On the day after the
United States declared war Uncle Ben
came bright and early to do his chores.
“Well, Mistah John,” he said, ‘*1
hope youse gwine ter be kind to pore
ole Germany now.”
“Why, Uncle Ben, what are you
talking about? Don’t you know we’re
at war with Germany ?”
“I knows it; I knows it," the old
fellow persisted, shaking his head.
“But suttinly dat country’ll need a
frien' now!”
THE RETORT
“Two wrongs don’t make a right.
StiH”—
A Senator was discussing the food
control hill.
“While the hill has its drawbacks,”
he went on, “there would be worse
drawbacks without it, and so we can
face our opponents like the lady.
“ ‘My love,’ her husband said to this
lady, ‘you spend all your money get
ting your palm read.’
“She smiled sweetly.
“‘And you, dear,' she retorted,
‘spend all yours getting your nose
red.’ "
For The Women Folks
We illustrate a charmingly simple, yet
tasteful, Empire dress for afternoon
wear. The gown pictured is made of
wool Jersey, trimmed with soutache
and is designed for 34 to 40 bust.
With but a few changes a sleeveless
bodice could be made with an open V
to the belt-line to be worn over an
under-bodice of tulle or lace. An
Empire design might also be used by
making a long-sleeved, square-necked
bodice to close in the back.
For the medium size, five yards of
material, 36 to 44 inches wide is need
ed. 4% yards 54, to make as illus
trated. The gown is decidedly at
tractive for girls and young women.
THRIFT THOUGHT
Don't throw away stale bread, Madam
I lousewife.
It can be used in many ways in
preparing your family’s meals.
Here is one use suggested by the
Department of Agriculture:
Dry or slightly toast slices of bread
and ends of loaves on the back of a
stove or in a slow oven. Crush with
rolling pin and serve the fragments
with milk or cream and sugar, and
fruit, if desired, as a breakfast food.
This product closely resembles
some commercially prepared breakfast
foods, and is obviously less expensive.
PRESERVE PEACHES AND
PLUMS
If peaches are packed in the jars
with the pit cavity down, more fruit
can be put into the containers and a
finer looking product is obtained, says
a bulletin from the National Emer
gency Food Garden Commission.
Peaches should be washed carefully
in cold water, dipped into boiling
water a moment or two until the skin
slips and then into cold water for an
instant. The skin is then clipped off,
the peaches cut into halves and the
pits removed and the halves packed
into jars with pit cavity down. A
few pits should be placed near the
bottom of the jar to give flavor to the
fruit. Add medium sirup boiling hot
to fill jars, partially tighten tops and
sterlize for sixteen minutes in boilingr
water. After complete sterilization,
remove jars from the boiling water,
tighten tops and invert to cool in place
free from draughts. Wrap in dark
paper to prevent loss of color, label,
and store in cool, dry place.
Canned plums are better if of large
size and thick flesh. All plums are
canned whole without peeling. Pack
tightly in hot jars and fill with boiling
hot sirup of light density. Sterilize
for sixteen minutes in boiling water
after partially tightening tops. Re
move from sterilizer, finish sealing,
and invert to test for leakage and to
cool.
To make peach and plum butter
wash fruit carefully and remove
“fuzz” on peaches by rubbing with a
damp towel. Do not peel. Place in
an enamel-lined preserving kettle, add
a little water, and cook until very ten
der. Squeeze through a fruit press or
colander to remove skins and stones.
Place pulp in clean preserving kettle,
add sugar to taste, and boil until thick
and rich in color, stirring constantly
to prevent burning on to the kettle.
Spices may be added if desired, but
the butter is generally considered bet
ter if unspiced. Pour the hoiling mass
into hot, sterilized jars and seal at
once.
VERY SUBTLE
Tony and Izri, two young bootblacks
who have stands dose together on
Main Street, engaged in hot words the
other day which nearly resulted in a
fist fight.
"I'll get even with that wop yet,”
hissed Izri.
“doin’ to fight him, are yer, Izri?"
questioned a friend.
“Naw. When he gets troo polishin’
a gent I’m goin’ to say to that gent
soon’s he steps off’n the chair: ‘Shine,
sir, shine!’”