TAIYANA LEADER
Vol I
Published Every Thursday at Taxaxa, Alaska,
BY GIBBON PUBLISHING CO.
No. 20
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WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN
Our correspondent, “Slumber,” surely had a rude awak
ening from his Fourtli-of-July dream. But what awoke him
is not known to The Leader. It was not the lusty shout
ings of a happy populace enjoying a good, wholesome cele
bration of the nation’s birthday.
Now that the day is over, it is the expressed regret of
a large majority of our people that the occasion was allowed
to pass without befitting observance; nearly everyone
wished to enjoy and were willing to substantially contrib
ute toward a holiday program, but ALL, without exception,
were calmly occupying back seats waiting for others to take
the initiative.
Holidays can never be uproariously celebrated under
such soothing exhibitions of “physical calm and intellectual
stagnation,”
I here is scarcely a settlement in Alaska that does not
observe the day in appropriate style. Take, for instance,
the old town of Rampart: there isn’t a great many people
thereabouts, but all holidays are celebrated in good old
fashioned, neighborly style, everybody lias a line time, and
the next holiday is eagerly awaited to afford another day of
recreation and merrymaking. They consequently enjoy
all such functions to the utmost. Life is there made worth
while. The town of Hot Springs, with its limited popula
tion, enjoyed a delightful holiday last Saturday-. This was
made possible by the local camp of the Arctic Brotherhood
—an organization that seldom lets a month go by, since its
installation, without a “blowout” designed to furnish
amusement for the women and children of that resort.
There is not a town in Alaska so rich in “raw mate
rial” for the proper out-door observance of holidays as is
Tanana. The grand old Yukon river, whose shore lines in
front of the town and fort are as straight as those of a placid
canal, affords splendid distances for boating exhibitions of
many kinds; the long, stright and level avenues of the city
are good courses for horse and foot racing; the military
post with its companies of well-drilled soldiers can add a
spectacular effect to a patriotic pageant that would cause
Tanana to be envied by every other city in Alaska; the
splendid parade ground at Fort Gibbon is an ideal field for
baseball and all athletic sports. And last, but not least,
in this vicinity there are scores of natives who may be
counted on as being ever ready to take part in such events,
and whose endeavors would cause no end of hilarity.
Our winters are long and dreary; the good old sum
mertimes short and uncertain—therefore let’s not let any
more holidays pass during the good weather without cele
brating.
Quoth The Leader: NEVERMORE!
DEPARTMENT OF DEPENDENCIES
The patchwork relations of the dependencies of the
United States and the central government drives the New
York Globe to the conclusion that not only is a general
bureau or office of colonial affairs, such as report credits
President Taft with planning, a necessity, but that the de
mands of the situation call for a Department of Depend
encies, with a .secretarv at the head. Irregularity of con
trol it finds in the fact that the Panama canal strip is
under the war department; that Alaska, Porto Tlice and
Hawaii are under the department of the interior, wlii^e
Guam and the Samoan possession are under the navy de
partment. ' ‘To say that the navy department has charge
of f ile Samoan possessions tells only half the story, for the
naval officer in command of the naval station rules almost
supreme. He has followed the behest of the secretary of
the navy in pursuing his own judgment as to the form and
enforcement of a system of government for these posses
sions. Much the some thing is to be said of Gaum. Nom
inally it is under the navy department. As a matter of
fact, all governmental powers there are vested in the naval
officer in command of the naval station. While Alaska is
nominally under the department of the interior, the differ
ent interests of the territory that are not directly cared for
by the governor are looked after by the different depart
ments to which such interests seem most nearly to apper
tain. Though the Pliilipines and the canal zone are under
the war department, the bureau of insular affairs of that
department is the real bond, so far as the Pliilipines are
concerned, while the Isthmian Canal commission compli
cates the situation in Panama,” The Globe thinks that in
this division of responsibility we are getting out of touch
witli our dependencies, a distinct step backward since the
first days after their acquisition, when military control was
in evidence, and it believes the situation in Porto Rico
might not have become so bad if we could have had its
destiny looked after by a central office possessing proper
authority.—A. and N. Journal.
THE TAX !$ STILL THERE
There’s a tender reminiscence that is surging through my soul
As I gaze uponthe doughnut with a thin ring ’round the hole;
’Tis a memory abiding of the halcyon days of yore
When I hollered for “protection” and demanded “four years more.”
And kept up a campaign singing in a very lusty tone
That just what the country needed was “let well enough alone.”
Now the captains have departed, hushed the loud, tumultuous din—
And the dinner pail is empty—but the tax is on the tin.
Yes. the dinner pail is empty, but the tax is on the tin;
And a tax upon my clothing, and the clothing wearing thin.
There’s a tax upon the cradle of the babe of which I’m proud:
There's a tax upon my takle—there’ll be one upon my shroud.
Yes, I cried out for “protection” till my throat was raw and hoarse,
And I got it, O, I got it—but ’twas in the neck, of course.
Yes, the promise was as empty as the argument was thin,
And the dinner pail is empty—but the tax is on the tin.
“Four years more,” we gaily shouted; we’ll “let well enough alone!”
But the tariff soup was gobbled by the trusts—we get tho bone.
“Workingmen must havo protection!” was our rousing battle cry,
And the tariff barons cheered us as wo marched so proudly by.
Now the barons have departed to gay scenes in Paris, France,
And the badge of our protection is the patch upon our pants,
And we lift tho lid and ponder as we sadly gaze within,
That although the pail is empty, still the tax is on the tin.
Rockefeller has his millions that lye grabbed through tariff gTaft;
Carnegie has just as many, and they’re both of them for Taft.
Morgan, Haveraeyer, Dupont, and the whole protection hunch
Live in fatness while yours truly only gets hot air for lunch.
Once a pail filled to repletion, now a doughnut with a hole,
And “protection” that’s a scanty as a tariff grafter’s soul.
O, they fooled us good and plenty just as soon as they got in,
For the dinner pail is empty—but the tax is on the tin.
—The Commoner.
COMMUTATIONS i
Slumber Was Disturbed]
Editor Leader:— I have been j
watching with interest your efforts to'
awaken the people of Tanana and did j
not intend to put my finger in the pie, j
so to speak, but the absolute indiffer- j
er.ee of the people of this place is!
appalling. In my opinion blandilo
quence will never accomplish what
you, Mr. Editor, have tried to do.
It takes the hard, harsh talk, and even
then tlie citizens are in such a state of
mental calm that they will not even
take offence. Talk will do no good.
What, will? That is a question that can
be answered by one word: Nothing.
The people of this town are illogical.
Can this he disputed? No! most em
phatically, no!
Afier the grand celebration that the
town had: tlie large posters that you |
printed, Mr. Editor; the splendidly
played baseball game: the way the
contests were pulled off: the grand aud
spactacular display of fireworks and
the number of people who were cau
tioned for shooting firo crackers on
the streets—illogical does not half ex
press my meaning. Tanana is one
huge mass of somnambulists and they
will never, as long as you and I tread
old mother earth, be any mote’than
than they are. Tanana ought to ho
ashamed. Some live person, and there '
are a few, tacked a sign upon the
bridge midway between the Pioneer
Bar and the postottieo which read as
follows: “Please go away and let us
sleep,’’ and another hoard stated that
“Xanana died July 4, 1909.”
SLUMBER.
Tanana, July 5, 1939.
ADVERTISED LETTER LIST
Tatiana,
Beevis, Sam
Collins, <’. H.
Daley, Hugh
Dreskel, Jacob
Freml, Jos.
Alia., July 1, 1909.
Haskins, Travis P.
Leonard, Homer
McClellan,Harry M
Medley, A. 13.
Sheldun, M. L.
Livevic, Luka
G. H. Tiffany, Postmaster.
“ReoiiDR” Got
Fixed Up Pretty
St. Louis, Juno 19.—If. W. Thomas
of Marianna, Ark., could not figure out
how a barber could do $4.95 worth of
work in 20 minutes, and as a result,
Charles Stillwell, employed in a shop
near the Union depot is a prisoner in
the central station on'a warrant chain
ing petit larceny. Thomas complained
to the police after paying the bill.
Here’s what Stillwell says ho gave
Thomas in the line of barboring: Shave.
15 cents: massage, 35 cents: face bleach,
35 cents; toilet water, 15 cents; hair
cut. 35 cents; wet shampoo, 75 cents;
crude oil, 75 cents; singe, 35 cents; hair
tonic, 35 cents; eyebrows polished $1;
shine, 10 cents: dry shampoo, 35 cents.
This comes to $+.75, and when the bar
ber failed to account ,for the other 20
cents the police made this item: Con
versation at 1 cent per minute, 20 cents.
R, W, Galderhead
Loses Two Fingers
At Olsonopolis, a landing place
on the Tanana river about 80
miles from this city, R. W. Cal
derhead, the well-known trans
portation man, had the misfor
tune to cut off two lingers of his
left hand one day last week while
cutting wood. The ax he was
using became entangled with
brush, which in some manner re
sulted in the painful accident.
Hair cutting, shaving, shampooing—
Matt Stewart's barber shop.
Valdez Greek Not
Exactly a Bonanza
The evidence is piling up against
Valdez creek, the oft-touted Eldorado
that was to mend the broken fortunes
of so many forlorn hopes, for it seems
that it is not such a place as a poor
man should seek nor a rich man care
to venture in, says the Fairbanks News
Miner of recent date.
A letter has just been received from
J. L. Gage, who, it will be remem
bered left Fairbanks just before spring
—thinking to spend many months in
the Alaska range prospecting. Ho
seems to be all right but the story he
tells would hardly draw anyone else
into the country. He says in part:
"We landed here all O. K. but the
dogs nearly cleaned us out of grub.
We were lucky, however, and were
able to buy everything we needed
although grub is getting very short.
Game, is also short. Wo have only
had four ducks, three fish and a quar
ter of young moose.
Bill, this will never be a prosperous
country unless men with money get in
terested here. There is everything
here, gold, water, timber, and plenty
of grade for a large hydraulic plant or
plants.
“I would advise nobody to come in
unless they can bring in all their grub,
and in fact everything they will want.
Grub is selling for .TO cents and IL per
pound and there is hardly any for sale.
“Toll-to go out to Cordova, it
is the coming town. Heney the Tail
road contractor of the railroad will run
a stage if Orr & Co. do not and that
will cut out Valdez. You can depend
on what Heney says.”
An Englishman witnessing his
first baseball game -was struck
by a hot one off the bat. On
coming to he asked faintly,
“What was it?” “A foul,” they
told him, “only a foul?” “My
word!” he explained, “I thought
it was a mule.”
Stoddard Kay
THE
NORT H E R N.
BEST WINES
LIQUORS AND
CIGARS.
Pool Tables In Connection.
Stoddard Kay
NEW HAND
LAUNDRY
Mrs. A. A. Swanson, Late of Rampart
Starched Work a Specialty
Second Ave., Rear of Yukon Saloon
Remember
The Grand Hotel
WHILE STOPPING IN TANANA
UP-TO-DATE ROCBIS AM) BUNKS, AI.SO GOOD DOG HOUSES.
FINE WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS,
Fool And Billiard Tables In Connection.
Charley Chanquist Prop.
When you fail at every other Store
You Will Find What You
■Want at
Taiiana Commercial Company’s.
We are there with the Goods
GOTO TJiE
Golden North Restaurant.
While In Tanana For Good Meals
And Best Service. ,
BEST GOODS ON THE MARKET
Meals at all Hours.
ED LvKEO Proprietor.