THE LISTENING POST.
HOW COME, WAR DEPT.?, Army & Navy Journal says you have dis
approved recommendations that enlisted men of the Army be given
retirement priveleges liks these the Navy enjoy. How come, War
Dept.?, If you come to Ft .Seward you’11 see a lotta doughboys that
are as good as any gob that o\or rode a battle-wagon, and we can’t
quite get your drift. If it’s good for a gob, a doughboy will
take at least one chance at it .
THE ITEi/S ON COURTESY AND ETIQUETTE.given in the Pill-Roller’s
letter last week were of much interest to the garrison, and the
Listener has been asked to supplement them with some rules gathered
by him during his experience as a registered tea-hound. Here goes:
WHEN DINING OUT; As you approach theteble make a running jump
for your chair, endeavoring to be the first one seated. Everybody
will probably remark on your. wonderful agility.
Beside your plate you will probably find a small piece of linen.
This is a napkin. Tuck one corner between neck and collar of shirt,
the opposite corner in belt of trousers. This will keep your chest
spotless, except during the use of soup, which will leak thru in
spite of all you can do.
The meal is about to begin. Hitch up to the table, p?.acing your
arms in an advantageous position on either side of your plate. Keep
your eye on your competitors - forget everything but the woik that is
before you - don't let anyone get ahead of you.
If you can't remember which spoon to vise for soup, figure always
on using the largest one. When sipping soup make a cuxe noise like
a leaky faucet. This is very chic .
While eating fish, if a bone sticks in your threat, don’t cry to
cough it across the room in a loud and boisterous icne of voice.
Modestly fish for it with your fork, and above all things don't make
a fuss over it .
When you get your plate heaped up discard.the.fork. You can hold
ntore on a knife, and it requires more dexterity to use one. Clean
up with the fork.
If you spill your coffee in your neighbor's lap instantly assure
her that you really didn’t care for the coffee anyway, and that she
is welcome to it. Don't allow her to become embarrassed over it.
When your cargo capacity is filled, tilt your chair back, slap
your hostess heartily on the back, remarking, ”Purty darn good
chow, Liz”, or words to that affect.
If by chance you have eaten so much that you really must unbutton
something, ask to be excused and do it behind the‘door.
-~r- (Thanks are due Brainless Bates,who learned us most of this)
THE LISTENER HAS DECIDED to be very circumspect in future. Right
now he can look out the window and see three officers and about 20
enlisted men pointing pistols (cal.45, IAod.1911) right at him. Don't
know where he got all those enemies, but will 3ure take cover when
that bunch gets ammo issued to ’em.