WHY THE JL2SS SERGEANT ENLISTED.
"Sergaent F" , ashed Corporal W. : "What did you do before you
came in the Army?" "7/e 11"Sergeant E. answered: I lived way back in
the sticks in a dangerous place where the grass was full of blades,
the trees were shooting in the Spring and all the flowers has
pistils. The rent on the farm was so large I had to sew it with
spuds and onions. I planted 'em close together so the tear pro
ducing effect of the onions on the eyes of the spuds made them
self irrigating".
'Gee whiz",' Corporal w. interrupted, "But hew did you water* the
onions?£ "Well you see Corporal W. " , Sergeant F. replied: "The
rent was dew every month so they were well moistened". Things went
along until harvest time and as I needed a couple of more hands I
just doubled my fists and started in on the spuds but potato rot
caused by the rotary motion of the earth spoiled them all.
My hogs took sick and 1 had to kill them to cure them, then I
killed all my chickens".
"What did you kill them for?": interrupted Denny C'Shea. "Just
could'nt stand their fowl language", continued Sergeant F. "And
besides they would lay wherever I put them after they were dead".
Huh",' exclaimed "Sandy". "Yeh", Sergeant F. Continued: "One
morning I noticed all the little birds were sad, right downcast,
so I investigated the next morning and they Were even sadder.
Be lei ve me it was a melancholy scene with all those little birds
sitting there in the trees early in the morning". "What was the
matter with them?", eagerly asked "sandy". ‘‘They were sad "Sandy"
because all their little bills were all overdue", was the reply.
Well, along about early winter", continued Sergeant F. # "The
wind blew so cold and cutting one night that when I awoke the next
morning the whole blamed forest had been cut into cord wood so I
sold out and went to fishing for a living as there is more money
in fishing . "How come"? querried "Sandy". "Well you see "Sandy
all the money you make fishing is net profit". "But I quit". "I
staad it> Sergeant F.mo urn fully said. "Why?"* asked
Sandy ?. The business made me selfish, and besides my boat was so
e it fast with a rope, so I up and quit and became
"WhatT s
.' "Where
slow I had to mal
a still-miner".
"Sandy" and Corporal
W. in
"Still-mine r".'
chorus. "Huh
that?", asked
educated", asked Sergeant F.' "1 s ti lEmiAer’AN Jmi°W8
gold. Hut then I always got rid of my gold quicklv
money in paper bills". "How is that?2; exclaim
.as he joined the crowd. "Why'1 rerlied Sergeant V
y°"«LY. Y y°Ur PaPY “°ney Whea you it in your pocket^ *"
11 , he continued, 'I quit that and traveled around the world
his quarts into
as there is more
ed Corporal J. .
place tc Place and from pole to pole",
s the difference between the two poles?", "slndy"
All the difference in the world ry bov". he answered »«
"All the difference in the world
ran around until I finally got a
"Where was that?", asked Sandy
standing Army','.replied Sergeant
Hall one minute before the vell rang.
andy" asked.
y boy", he answered. "Well, I
job where I could'nt run any more"
<mid Corporal W. "I joined the
as he beat it for the Mess
HUETIUG TROUBLE.
A flaxen-haired, blue-eyed young gentleman called at the court
house in Juneau last week and stammeringly asked for a license.
"Hunting license?", facetiously asked Walter King.
"Oh, no”, said Cle, "I ban hunting long enough; I wanta get
married". -. Stroller's Weekly.