K 0 0 T I E 3
WHO'S WHO IN THE ARMY:
.(Contributed by a recruit)
A PRIVATE is a guy that exercises a mop and shovel.
A PRIVATE FIRST CLASS is a bird who bootlicks * v.N the
"Top-Kick” for nine dollars extra per month.
A CORPORAL is a lad who is understudying a non-com
missioned officer and hopes to be one some day.
A SERGEANT is a fellow who has been in the service
long enough to get hard-boiled.
A FIRST SERGEANT IS A RIRD WHOM IT PAYS TO STAY ON
GOOD TERMS WITH FOR HE KEEPS THE DUTY ROSTER.
A SECOND LIEUTENANT is the officer you’d better salute.
A FIRST LIEUTENANT is the officer who plays second
fiddle for the Captain and drills the company.
A CAPTAIN is the officer who hands out company pun
ishment and answers enquiring letters from your
people back home*
A MAJOR is an officer who wears boots and spurs.
A LIEUTENANT COLONEL is the officer who keeps the
Major company.
A COLONEL is an officer whose wife runs the regiment.
WHAT SERVICE IS FOR:
Service makes the half-baked recruit into a hard-boiled
soldier and incidentally a man to be respected.
TECHNICALLY SPEAKING:
Ramsey: "This Greek book says Io died".
Midkiff; "Lied"? What did she die of?"
Ramsey : "Io-dide of potasium".
QUITE so:
Summary Court Cfficer: "What are you, guilty or not
guilty?"
Hard-boiled Private: "Both".
Summary Court Officer: "How come both?"
Hard boiled Private: "I’m pleading not guilty, but
you’ll find me guilty".
FORCE OF HABIT:
The efficient company clerk in one of the companies
on the post was asked by 'the Captain to take some dictation,
and immediately reached for his pencil and rushed to the telephone
and tried to sharpen it by turning the crank, when a cerain flap
fer who was in the habit of answering his calls replied: "Dearie,
*m too busy with my curls to talk to you this morning".
The clerk avers he will never again mistake the tele
phone for the pencil sharpener as the Captain may get wise.