J FIXED TO LAUGH
, AT OLD H. C. L.
Dining Car Chef Would Surely
Have Had One Good Meal
but for the Police.
Chicago.—Geo -ge Abraham Lincoln
iThompson, being a dining car chef
and rather a deep student of philoso
phy, saw no good reason why he
should go hungry—or, In fact, why he
should spend good money on the up
keep of his gastronoinlcal machinery
when food was so easy for him to
obtain.
He also had In mind the saying,
“Get while the getting Is good, and
get all you can when you can.”
Which explains his presence in the
Grand Crossing police station.
Policeman James Gallagher, having
a discerning and appraising eve for i
i
Stopped Short When He Gazed Upon
George.
the grace and the symmetry of the
human contour, stopped short when
he gazed upon George. There was too
much of a swagger to his walk. He
was too tall to be humpbacked, too
well gaited to have such a bulging
front. Why, there were knobs all over
him. He looked like a human black
thorn stick that was swollen In the
middle.
Gallagher took him In to show him
to his pals—and then there came a
revelation.
Besides a heavy conscience, George
Abraham Lincoln Thompson was car
rying:
15 pounds choice rib roast.
f 1 dressed chicken.
4 cans of mushrooms.
1 can of baked pork and beans.
3 1-pound tins of coffee.
3 pounds of bacon.
4 pounds of butter.
George confessed. He had taken
food from the dining car, and was
going home for a light breakfast.
Poor George! Bread and coffee for
his.
. , i
(Wants $500 for Bite ij;
by a “Paralyzed’' Dog i||
Los Angeles, Cal.—Damages
.s for $500 were awarded Mrs. M. ;j;
• b Grattan by Judge Frank Willis. Ij;
;j; She was bitten by a paralytic ;!•
bulldog and confined, she said. ;i;
i;i for a month. Joe Crider, attor- 1;!
;i; ney for the defendant, E. M. <!;’
ij; Hollingsworth, argued that as j|;
!|’ the dog was paralyzed In the Ij;
; hind leg It could not fit the de- jjj
;!; scrlptlon In the complaint of
! ! “not being properly guarded}” !;l
;i; "If the dog had been as para- j!;’
:j; lytic In the front portion of his
ji anatomy,” retorted the judge, Ij:
;j; “as he was in the rear, the accl- jo
dent complained of would not ;i;
have happened. But the paraly
^sis was In the wrong place.” y
MEOW! THE CAT CAME BACK
_____
Walks 99 Miles to Return to Its Home
in Perth Amboy, N. J.,
Says Owner.
Perth Amboy, X. J.—Here is a tale
of a cat that walked 00 miles to return
to his home. It is related by Irvin S.
Yarnel of this city.
On the night of July 3, Yarnel said
he took the cat in a satchel to Phoenlx
ville, Pa., 99 miles from Perth Amboy.
When he got to Ills summer home
there he found there was no food for
the cat. The latter disappeared, to
show up six days later at Ynrnel’a
Perth Arnboy home. Its feet were
sore.
“I don’t expect anyone to believe
this, but It Is true,” declares Yarnel.
MlfclC LURES SNAKE TO END
Hears Phonograph, Crawls Into Salem
Store and Is Done to
Death.
Salem.—Charmed by the music of a
phonograph a copperhead snake three
feet long squirmed Into the music
store of C. C. Keys here. The snake
was colled up near the phonograph
when It was discovered. It was killed
before It had a chance to strike. It
was one of the largest copperheads
ever seen Ip this section.
j:j: |
I FOR FIRE / I
I insurance!
I SEE I I
1 KELLY I
■
1 No cut rate
| “experiments”
I but insurance
| f that insures.
I And if you |
don’t know
that you are
going to get
your money in
case of loss,
what do you
insure tor;
I
At Last
You can have
a quiet office
Install the “Silent Smith”
and do away with noise!
The slogan, “Ball-Bearing, Long-Wearing,” is the absolute truth.
The illustration above shows the balal bearings in each typebar
of the L. C. Smith & Bros. Typewriter. Ask for demonstration.
E. S. HEWITT & CO., JUNEAU, ALASKA
— — - ■ — r
FRED M. SCHAUPP
SANITARY PLUMBING
Steam-Fitting, Marine Pipe and Tank Work
Sheet Metal Work
SECOND STREET, NEXT DOOR TO FEDERAL JAIL
PHONE 72
Manhattan Hotel
R. W. FERRELL, Prop.
Elleetric Lighted. Hot Water. Turkish and Tub
Baths.
OPPOSITE CORDOVA GRILL, CORDOVA, ALASKA.
PHONE 99
Keist Furniture
Company
Is the Place to Buy
New and Second-Hand
Household Goods
OUR PRICES ARE RIGHT
We Sell Goods on Commission
Next door to Alaska 8. S. Office
NORTHWESTERN CLEAN
ING AND DYEING HOUSE
TAILORING
All kinds of Repair Work. Fancy
Garments a Specialty. All Work
Guaranteed. Goods called for and
delivered
J. LEEN
tfext to Hegg’s, on C Street
Phone 123-4
•k
I WHEN TRAVELING
’||| HAVE YOUR MONEY IN PROPER TRAVELING FUNDS HHI--V
U YOU MIGHT LOSE YOUR MONEY .
MB WHEN Y0U HAVE it in the form of a bank DRAFT OR I
_H TRAVELERS’ CHECK3 YOU CAN’T LOSE IT. ^ _ 1
I NO RED TAPE TO NEGOTIATE j[ |
lli W,TH DRAFTS we furnish letters of identification.
SIMI TRAVELERS’ CHECK8 ARE 8ELF-IDENTIFYING.
DRAFTS, 25 CENTS PER HUNDRED
TRAVELERS’ CHECKS, 50 CEENTS PER HUNDRED
CORDOVA MACHINE
WORKS
E. R. GARNES, Prop.
Residence Phone 101-3
j Shop Phone 182
Machine Work of all Kinds,
Blacksmithing, General Repair
ing, Horse Shoeing, Oxy-Acety
lene Welding and Cutting.
AUTOMOBILES
REPAIRED
Office and Shop: City Dock
CORDOVA, Alaska.
Out of Town Jobs Given Strict
Attention.
ROSSWOG
--♦- ;
To My Patrons
Owing to the print
ers’ strike in New
York city, a great
many of the leading
magazines will be
late in arriving
C. M. ROSSWOG
8TATIONER, NEWSDEALER,
NOTION8,
TOBACCOS, CONFECTIONERY.
The Dally Times job plant Is
well equipped for all classe of com
mercial printing.
Read the Daily Times ror the latest
and most reliable world news.
r-^_ __
AUNTY KEATING’S
“WEE SHOP’’ i!
YAMA
YAMA
SUITS
FOR RENT
or will make up to suit cus- !
tomer. Masks.
Handmade Worsted Caps for
i ladies. Orders taken
SMITH &
M’CONAGHY
Plumbers and
Steamfitters
—♦—
COR. FRONT and B STS.
LUMBER
BUILDING MATERIALS OF
ALL KINDS
Brick and Lime
CORDOVA MILL AND
LUMBER CO. •
SIBERIAN FUR COMPANY
C. Leen, Mgr.
NOTICE TO TRAPPERS
We Buy All Kinds of Furs
Honest Prices Paid
We make up all kinds of Furs, also
do remodeling. We also do Tan
ning and Mounting. Fourteen
years’ experience.
Next to Hegg’s, on C Street
Phone 123-4
Sanitary
GARBAGE CANS
Plenty of Them at
CORDOVA
SHEET METAL WORKS
Phones
Shop, 143 Res., 133.2
Sixty Steam-Heated Rooms, Electric-Lighted
Hot and Cold Water in Every Room
With or Without Bath
Cordova House
DOOLEY & GREEN1G
Headquarters for Railroad and Mining Men
Satisfaction Guaranteed :: Rates Reasonable