CONFIDENTIAL NOTARY PUBLIC
INCOME TAX RETURNS PREPARED
Individual — Business — Corporate
Complete-Latest Tax Information
Open 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. Daily
Across from the Shore Patrol in Town — Phone 3152
MARION T. HOWE Enterprizes
For all vour
WELDING NEEDS
or problems
[Prompt Thawing Service]
PHONE 2151
KODIAK WELDING WORKS
TONY’S PLACE
Kodiak's Favorite
Rendezvous
and
Bus Stop
Your Pleasure is Our Business
FINEST IN FOODS & DRINKS
We Cash ALL Pay Checks
Package Liquor Store
Restaurant -- Phone 3101
KODIAK OIL SALES
UNION OIL PRODUCTS
Unoba T5X Triton
Greases g ^ Motor Oils
UNION
COMPLETE PETHOLEUM SERVICE
MARINE SERVICE STATION
AIRPORT DEALER
STOVE OIL - BURNER OIL
KEEP FULL SERVICE
PHONES
Pock & Plant 2411 Res. 3141
————m—TTT r ■ ■ IL II
t
Here Iheie
Everywhere
As a proof it pays to advertise,
the following telegram was receiv
ed by a proprietor of a local Em
porium, who saw fit to advertise
over the Juneau radio on the ocas
|i sion of the recent basketball tour
| ney held there. Jhe telegram is as
follows: James Brightman, Kodiak
k Outfitters. Send specifications on
Baldwin Locomotives. Send price
for two, not interested in single
unit. Have interested party anxious
to start railroad between Sitka and
Kodiak prior to tourist season
starting June 1. Forming Stock
company. Send names of interested
parties at Kodiak end. Also prices
on converting these locomotives
to submarines, also names of quali
fied submarine and locomotive men
in Kodiak area, (signed, Killasno,
Pelican, Angoon and Hoonah En
j terprises. (Ed. note: Or does it
I pay?) The telegram came collect.
I Here’s the way they start a car
in that part of the frozen north,
where it is really frozen, according
to Jessen’s Weekly. The Sour
doughs method, which has been
tested by time, is as follows: 1
1. Arises at 3:00 a. m. (reluc
tantly)
2. Digs car from ice and snow.
3. Kicks car soundly 3 or 4
times to establish respect for auth
ority.
4. Appears disinterested in
whether or not car starts, lights
pipe or cigar, using gadget from
the bonfire previously lighted to
warm hands, hovers in the vicinity,
musing aloud about the beauty of
the scenery.
5. Raises head, shakes head dis
approvingly, mentions several rea
sons why the purchase of a new car
is indicated.
6. Kicks ear soundly four more
times. ^
7. Returns to house with feigned
intention of remaining.
8: Drinks a cup of coffee, being
sure car can see you through the
window.
9. Nonchalantly saunters back
and kicks car four more times.
10. Prys open door with crow
bar and removes icicles from dash,
steering wheel and seat.
11. Unobstrusively pulls the
choke out three or four feet.
12. Turns ignition key on with
pair of pliers . . . NOW
13. (HURRIEDLY) jumping in
, to. car, he slams foot' on starter,
I kicks car soundly with other foot
three or four times, curses loudly,
beats dash (preferably with ham
mer).
—RESULT: Arrives at work only
one hour late.
Ann Onymous
An Editor’s Day. Following is a
description of the dialogue experi
ences of Norman Lieberman of the
Monterey Park (Calif.) Progres
sive, an a typical Thursday after
noon, after the paper comes out,
and as reported in the American
Press. We don't have it quite that
bad, but once in a while we too,
hit the jackpot.
“Hello. Is this the editor?”
Even the telephone couldn't hide
the lady’s disdain.
“Se here, last week Igave you an i
article on the Watch Winders Aux
iliary. What do you mean by not
putting it in?”
“Beggin’ your pardon, madam, I
believe that appeared. Let me
see ... oh, yes . . . you'll find it
on page 1 of section 2.”
“Zat right?” Click!
It was a good three minutes be
(Continued to Page 4)
The Town Club
Our Kitchen Is Now
Open on Monday
Come in everyday of the week
for good food prepared by Jewel
Our Daily Special is ready at 5:00 p.m.
For Immediate Service
— Also To Order —
Broiled Steaks, Home Style Chicken, Kinj Crib
Dining Room open at 5:00 p.m.
Open Everyday
Bar open every day. Week Days from
4:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m., Saturday & Sun
day 1:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m.
Cocktails, Boer, Wine PHONE 4033
m
Congratulations to
D & A and Kodiak Airways
Both of these Companies are al
ways expanding and improving
their services -—
Now they have installed a key P.B.X.
System to speed up Telephone service
for their customers —•
We wish to thank all the people
who had their numbers changed
to make this possible.
KODIAK TELEPHONE
D & A
New Number
3201
Kodiak Airways
New Number
4201
"Peed
s4 *l/aniety alcueuft ok 6,<zkcC
--and so Tasty, too!
LaLandes Kodiak Bakery
Around the corner from the theatre
Phone 3454