HYDER WEEKLY HERALD
Published Ever" Wednesday.
Application mpde for entry at the post office at Hyder, Al
aska, as secona lass matter, un^^r the Act of March 8,
1879. ._
Chas. F. Sandford. Editor.
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must be presented not later than Monday noon or
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AN INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER
The* human race is forgetful
and unappreciative-traits that
can never be overcome until
human nature is remade.
W do not appreciate the com
forts of our homes until a rag
ing and disastrous fire or tor
nado 1 nves ns without shelter.
J.t is >; 1/ when we lie flat on
our backs in bed, forced there
by i'.lne-s and pain, that we
place value on good health.
It is then that we mournfully
resolve to take better care of
our bodies once we are up
again.
Wh n our modem conveni
ences are temporarily out of
commission we fret and fume
and grumble. Electric lights,
for instance. As we light the
kerosene lamps we are im
press'. \ by the pale reflection
they give off, and we wonder
how our fathers and mothers
used to get along with such
awfui lighting.
Perhaps it was the knowledge
of human nature’s limitations
that led Jesus to say: “Re
member they Creator in the
days of they youth,” realizing
in all probability, that if we
are not excited to active ser-'
vice for Him when we are
young and vigorous, that our
minds and bodies will not be
inclined towards serving Him
as they age with the years. Ex
cept, of course, when we lie
uoon our dethbeds, recalling
our days of forgetfulness and
unappreciativeness of the op-1
portunity to serve-then we j
long to be up again, and have !
one more chance.
You cannot lay down a set of
rules by hich a man can make
a lot of money. But the rules
of honesty are few, simple and
perfectly clear. Every man
. knows in his heart whether
h{"t deeds are worthy of his
own commendation or not,
and that is the only kind of
commendation, that is worth
while. '
No man can do a thing which ,
is morally dishonest and then
reallv fool himself into think
ing that he has done the right
| He may be able to convince
himself in the daytime that he
is on the square, but at night
when he is all alone with
himself and his conscience, he
| knows the truth and if he
; wants to do the right thing
he needs no better guide than
his own conscience.
; -o
i Here are a few of the things
j the public expects of a
I country newspaper:
| They expect it to print free of
| of charge funeral notices and,
n addition, sometimes, half a
column of good things about
the deceased.
They expect it to print church
and school notices free, and
often entertainments for pay
likewise.
They expect it to print free
notices and announcements of
weddings, together with a long
article on how pretty the bride |
ooked, and what becoming
clothes she wore.
They expect it to print free I
| dl the news about what a
'ood town we live in and what
i great place to do business in.
They expect it to print free of
harge notices of John’s or
Vnnie’s visit to a neighboring
own and how royally thej
.vere entertained there.
They expect it print free 01 j
charge how popular a certain
candidate is that is running
or office.
They expect it to print free ot
charge divers and sundry othei
things too numerous to ment
ion; and yet if we ask for un
paid subscriptions, or want our
people to advertise, frequent
ly deaf ears are turned, and
:.he printer and his “devil” are
left to make their living some
other way or starve.
It takes money to run a news
paper and no town is consid
red a fit place to live in
whose citizenship does not loy- j
ally support its home papei-. j
And that goes for Hyder as i
well as any other rural burg, j
It pays to advertise. A girl in
Oklahoma advertised for a
husband and got him. The!
total expense for advertising
and the wedding was nine
dollars. He died within a year,
leaving her a life-time insur- i
ance policy of $11,000. And i
yet there are some dealers
who say it doesn’t pay to ad
vertise.
Just For Fun
A profit is often without hon
or in its home village.
When things look dark it’s
time to brighten up a bit.
Man’s wife had St. Vitas
dance and he loved her still.
Nothing spreads so fast, as ;
new slang in a little town.
A rolling stone pleases no
bosses.
It’s easy to meet expenses;
the trouble, says Jens, is dodg
ing them.
Many a man, who starts a
running account has a hard
race before he overtakes it.
“See if you can laugh that
off,” said the fat man’s wife,
wiring a button onto his vest.
An apology that has to be ,
asked for is a mighty poor
apology when you get it.
In the modern musical show
they call the chorus girls the
“shock troops.”
Some girls think of the lapse
af years; but, most of them
of the laps of men.
_
“So sorry I couldn’t make '
our wedding.”
“Never mind, I’ll have anoth
or one soon.”
He “Is there an art in kiss- '
ing?”
She: “The only art is, art
thou willing?”
Spend your life making face?
it people and you will look
'.hat way, says the Blueberry
Kid.
Rip Van Winkle stretched
ind a ’ose. “By this time,” said
he, “the family has finished
;he installment payments.”
A mosquito might get away
with what he does, but the
darned fool flies around and
brags about it.
She: It’s very good of you to
ask me to dance.
He: Don’t mention it; it’s a
charity ball.
Hunter in Alabama looked
down a rifle barrel. He will
recover but will never look the
same again.
Love, thinks Holger, causes
young men to grow mous
taches and old men to shave
’em off.
You can tell about how a boy
will turn out, says Paddy, if
you know what time he turns
in.
The man who owns a billy
goat
Hasn’t got very much sense,
Or else he soon would realize ;
He has too darn much scents.
_ i
She- “You’re a great dancer.!
Did you ever take dancing les- j
sons?”
He- “No, but I’ve watched
many wrestling matches.”
The old fashioned girl who
kneaded the dough now has a
daughter who, whether- she
needs it or not generally gets
it.
“It isn’t the original cost, it’s
the upkeep,” remarked the
balloonist as he opened anoth
er tank of hydrogen.
The honeymoon, according to
Pete Wilson, is still going
strong if she won’t eat an
onion unless he does.
“Charleston on your own
side,” said Miss Lorna Dunce
of the modern dance as some-1
one enthusiastically executed a
Charleston kick to her right j
shin.
“Do you play the piano, Miss '
Archer?”
“I’m afraid not.”
"Don’t you sing, then?”
“Not a note.”
“Miss Archer-Jenny! Marry
me!”
“Your new medicine has
helped me wonderfully,” the
gratfule woman wrote, “a
1 month ago I could not spank
the baby and now I am able
to thrash my husband. Heaven !
bless you!”
j “Isn’t there some fable aboui
' the a38 disguising himselt
with a lion skin?”
“Yes, but now the colleges
do the trick with a sheepskin.”
HYDER M. E. CHURCH
Services Every Sunday
at 8 p. m.
Sunday School at 11 a. m.
Ever“ Welcome
Rev. C. T. flatten. Pastor
Hyder, Alaska
I c-y ■ f*,fonration
Relative To
PORTLAND CANAL
MINING DISTRICT
!
“Yep, I got a woman candi
date out agin me.”
“How is she on campaign
ing?”
“Purty good. While I help
the men with the hay she
helps the women with the
dishes.”
Some people just naturally
cuss the cold weather in order
to keep in trim for cussing the
hot weather when it comes
along.
Irate Customer-“Here, look
what you did!”
Laundryman- “I can’t see any
thing wrong with that lace.”
“Lace? That was a sheet!”
No, Gladys, silk worms won’t
spin smoking jackets, no mat
ter how many tobacco leaves
you feed them. That’s a horst
on another wagon.
What puzzles the modern
flapper as she thinks of Pris
cilla Dean and other Puritan
belles is how they scratched
their knees if they got a mos
quito bite.
Job Printing Neatly Done At
The Herald Job Shop.
WAIL OF PESSIMISM
Dirty days hath September
April, June, and November,
From January up to May
The rain, it raineth every day,
All the rest have thirty-one
Without a blessed gleam of
sun,
And if any of them have two
and-thirty,
They be as wet and twice as
dirty.
.. 1 ' ' 1
John Hovland
Assay Office
Hyder, Alaska
PORTLAND CANAL LODGE
1218
LOYAL ORDER OF MOOSE
Meets Second and Fourth
Thursdays
Second Thursday in Hyder
Fourth Thursday in Stewart
12rnest plue
at
GLAD
TO HAVE
Your Business
ANY BUSINESS THAT tries to get along without a bank
is a very small business, even then it is not too small but
that its financial affairs should be handled through a bank.
A BANK IS one of the most important factors in the busi
ness life of the country.
TRANSACT YOUR business through our bank, no matter
how small it is now—the bank may help make it larger.
Bank of Hyder
J. A. HALL, Pres. E E. HALL. Vice-Pres. E. D. HADDON, Cashier
A. J. MAYER P 0 BOX IBS
...HYDER MACHINE SHOP...
HYDER GARAGE
Plumbing Steamfitting Black-smithing General Repairs
Authorized Ford Agent
Genuine Ford Parts
AGENTS FOR FAIRBANKS, MORSE
ENGINES & MACHINERY
ALASKA
HYDER
P. BURNS & CO., LTD.
WE SELL ONLY GOVERNMENT INSPECTED
FRESH KILLED MEATS
SOLE AGENTS FOR BARTON’S CIRCLE W.
HAMS AND BACONS
Fresh Butter & Eggs; Pure Lard & No. Poultry
TRY OUR SUGAR CURED PICNIC HAMS
BEEF IS YOUR CHEAPEST FOOD; EAT MORE OF IT
HYDEttFuiL'ca
HOLGER JOHNSON, MANAGER
COAL WOOD
HAULING STORAGE
PREMIER AVENUE N CAR FIRST