HYDER WEEKLY HERALD
Published Every Saturday
Application made for entry at the post office at Hyder* Al
aska, as second class matter, un^r the Act of March 8,
1879.
Chas. F. Sandford. Editor.
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AN INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER
THE PRINTING PRESS.
The next time you pass the
Herald office, step inside and
take a look at the printing
press and Linotype—that won
derful machine that makes
type almost as fast as a fast
typist can operate a typewrit
er. It will be all the better if
you can come at a time when
you can see the printed sheet?
flashing from the big press at
edition time. Then remember
what you read here.
Less than 400 years ago,
■when printing was new, Fran
cis I, king of France, deter
mined to suppress all new
ideas, especially in religious
controversy. It is true, Fran
cis is known as the “Father
of Letters,” but that is a false
honor.
The king, angered that sud
den death did not add to the
gayety of the spectacle, decid
ed to add a few little humor
ous twists of his own to the
already long list of tortures.
His machine first “dipped”
the victim in a bed of fire,
fifteen feet long, ten feet wide
then automatically hauled the
human sacrifice back by ma
nipulation of ropes, keeping it
up till the sufferer was tor
tured to death.
Francis, after attending a
number of executions, pro
nounced his machine “superb
and meritorious,” his exact
words.
But the thing to do was to
abolish the source of all heret
ical ideas, whether political,
religious or social, and natur
ally the next victim was th*
printing press. The proclamat
ion prohibiting further print
ing of books within the king
dom, under pain of hanging 01
burning, concluded with the
merry words, “Such is my roy
al pleasure.” Presses were
smashed, printers parboiled ir
the flames.
A few generations later, or
came the French Revolution,
and the people on their part
replied to King Francis’ ma
chine by one of their own, the
guillotine, whose keen shining
blade chopped off many a
head among the court crowd
till France was turned into a
slaughter house. That was the
end of the attempts to deform
the human mind by placing
an iron band around brains
and smashing the printing
press.
For Democracy is only an
other way of spelling the word
Toleration, and in turn tolerat
ion has to do with the growth
of knowledge, through the
medium of the printed page,
which is to say, the real sym
bol of Democracy is the print
ing press. In spite of stupid
Francis, the press has been
rumbling ever since, century
after century, proclaiming new
ideas to the world, Democracy
to all.
■u
CONTENT ELUDES US ALL
When one is born into this
world naked, with no place
provided in advance for shel
;er and no provision made for
food, such person, if he have
i grain of intellect, becomes
i reformer. He questions the
right of the more fortunate to
be born to downy cradles or
frescoed ceilings. He is earn
estly bent on an equal distri
bution of the good things of
the more fortunate or better
born.
On the other hand, he who is
born rich or attains to riches
;oon learns that all the gorge
jus creatures in their fine
bouses and automobiles, silks
md laces, diamonds and furs,
ire chasing in the same race
with himself—after the unat
ainable. The real aristocracy,
ike the foot of the rainbow,
/anishes as he approaches.
There are two phases of life
mfavorable to peace and com
fort; the one is adversity, the
other prosperity.
It is hard to tell in which a
man is more discontented with
himself and more offensive to
others.
When prosperous he patron
izes; when evil trouble falls
upon him he whines and is a
horrible bore. When he is
down his friends wish him up
on their own account; when
he is high up they Sigh for
mountains to fall on him and
bury him out of sight.
Just for Fun
Brains count—if you’re will
ing to work.
If you must knock try to make
a place on some ball team.
If she’s fifty and a gossip,
she is just trying to get a vi
carious kick out of sin.
Mysteries—Love, women and
hash.
Married men have one ad
vantage over bachelors. The
meek shall inherit the earth.
Many men act as if asking
them to pay a bill they owe
were an insult.
People smoke so much now
it is hard to tell them when to
call the firemen.
It is all right to follow your
natural bent unless it makes
you crooked.
Josephine—Do you think my
hands show any signs of toil?”
Agnes—“The one with the
engagement ring on shows that
you have been working.”
Render more service and bet
ter service than you are paid to
render and sooner or later you
will be paid for more than you
do.
The height of ignorance $s
buying two neckties just alike.
“To hell with circumstances,”
said Napoleon, “I make cir
cumstances.”
Cautious Cora says that may
be her boy friend isn’t an or
chestra leader but he certain
ly knows how to make over
tures.
If you are wise and prudent
you are to be congratulated,
but, if you are unable to for
get how wise and prudent you
are, than you are to be pitied.
Unfortunate is the born geni
; us. Nobody will believe him
I while he is alive and every
body is jealous of him until he
dies.
i Liquor can make the smartest
man look like a fool, act like
a fool and really be a fool.
Try it if you don’t believe the
statement.
COUSINS
Can and Will are cousins
Who never trust to luck;
Can is the son of Energy.
Will is the son of Pluck.
Can’t and Won’t are cousins,
too,
Always out of work;
Can’t is the son of Never Try,
Won’t is the son of Shirk.
What this country needs is
socks guaranteed for 10,000
miles.
Don’t snub the red-headed
kid who sweeps the office and
empties the wastebasket. He
may be your boss some day.
Education consists of doing—
not merely knowing.
There is a sure way to avoid
criticism; be nothing; do noth- J
ing; get a job as a street
sweeper and kill off ambition.
The formula always works.
Adversity is to the human be
ing what the kiln is to the
brick-it tempers the man so
he can carry responsibilities
and overcome obstacles with
out crumbling under them.
The man who lets his pick
hang in the air because the
whistle blew for dinner is a
close second to the man who
stopped his clock to save time.
Doubtless a hick is a man who
thinks it worldly and devilish
to drop a cigarette butt in his
coffee cup.
A man who was sentenced to
be hanged was visited by his
wife, who said; “My dear,
would you like the children to
see you executed?”
“No,” he replied.
“That’s just like you,” said
she, “you never wanted the
children to have any enjoy
ment.”
Let’s play “follow the lead
er,” said the orchestra man,
so everybody tried.
Ploorman: “I don’t believe
that new girl is ever going to
be a sales-person.”
Department Manager: “Oh, I
don’t know. She’s only been
here three weeks now and if
she ever succeeds in getting
her hair fixed the way she
wants it, she may start in and
surprise us ”
A stenographer in Camden,
N. J., is holding on to her $30
a week job in spite of the fact
that she has fallen heir to one
hundred thousand real Ameri
can dollars. This is all right if
she is not keeping some poor
girl out of a job.
Most of us think we could do
Chamber
of
Commerce
0
Hyder, Alaska
-o--,
Reliable Information
Relative To
PORTLAND CANAL
MINING DISTRICT
much better if we only had the
opportunities which we don’t
realize we have.
$500 AND NO SENSE
Doctor: “What did you oper
ate on Jones for
Surgeon: “Five hundred dol
lars.”
Doctor: “No, I mean what did
he have?”
Surgeon: “Five hundred.dol
lars.”
“Look at the foolish Mr. Bak
er!” said one man to another.
“Out on a rainy day like this
without an umbrella! Is he
crazy?”
“I think so,” said the friend
hurriedly. “Let’s hurry on. I
don’t want to meet him.”
"Why not?”
“He may recognize this um
******* * * * * *
* HILL’S HAND LAUNDRY *
* WORK GUARANTEED *
* PRICES REASONABLE *
* — Office at The — *
* Boundary Gift Shop *
* Hyder, — Alaska *
******* **** *
I
PORTLAND CANAL LODGE
1218
ORDER OF MOOSE
Meets Second and Fourth
Thursdays
Secqnd Thursday in Hyder
Fourth Thursday in Stewart
GEORGE B. GRIGSBY
Attorney - at - Law
KETCHIKAN. ALASKA
brella. Its his.”
We note that there are still
some highly opinionated birds
who figure Lincoln was all
wrong about fooling all the
people all the time.
What jumps out of reach
quicker than a promising fut
ure?
PROFESSIONAL
NORTHERN POOL HALL
• And Barber Shop
ALL POPULAR BRANDS OF
CIGARS, CIGARETTES and TOBACCOS.
ICE CREAM AND FOUNTAIN DRINKS
CONFECTIONERY
CARD TABLES READING ROOM
”A GOOD PUCE IN WHICH TO SPEND YOUR LEISURE TIME”
Jack Burns [] HarryJames
Hyder Dock Co., Inc.
DEALERS IN
Coal, Hay and Grain
GIANT EXPLOSIVES
AGENTS: STANDARD OIL COMPANY.
NORTHLAND TRANSPORTATION CO.
HOLGER JOHNSON, Manager.
A. J. MAYER P O BOX 123
...HYDER MACHINE SHOP...
HYDER GARAGE
Plumbing Steamfitting Black-smithing General Repairs
Authorized Ford Agent
Genuine Ford Parts
AGENTS FOR FAIRBANKS, MORSE
ENGINES & MACHINERY
HYDER ALASKA
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