HYDER WEEKLY HERALD
Published Every Saturday
Application made for entry at the post office at Ilyder, Al
aska, as second class matter,un^^r the Act of March 8,
1879.
Chas7FrSandf?rdIZy.r.ir.IZ~T.Z~Z..-T-.. Editor.
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AN INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER
A GOOD TIP.
“If your business is not worth
advertising, avertise it for
sale,” is the terse admonition
of one of the greatest advertis
ing firms in America. That’s
advice that should be assimi
lated by some of our local
business men who refuse to
see any benefit to themselves
from advertising in the local
press—and spend a good part
of their time howling how
“slow” business is. As we have
remarked to this gentry be
fore : if they want to prove the
fallacy of their own argument,
just let hem advertise some
popular product or article at
a slightly lower price than is
customarily charged here.
They won’t need further proof
that advertising pays—even
in a small community like
Hyder.
-•
ANENT OYSTERS AND R’S.
There is an axiom that oysters
are in season in the eight
months of the year having the
letter “R” in their names. We
are not informed whether
there is an affinity between
these months and oysters be
cause the letter “R” is also in
the word oyster or it is just a
coincidence. Neither do we
known the discoverer of the
circumstance and the author of
the axiom. However, it is neith
er axiom nor secret that we
are glad September has an
“R” somewhere among her
nine letters and we are not
particular in what style the
oysters are served.
■o
BEAUTIFUL WOMEN
The Chicago professor who
has gained a little brief notori
ety by his declaration that 90
per cent of the women are
homely, probably is one ol
those odious “efficiency ex
perts.” They reckon everything
in percentages. Whatever he
is, he is woefully off his base
in making such an assertion.
Ninety per cent, indeed! Not
even in Chicago, we venture to
say, will so large a proportion
of homely women be found.
And in Hyder not 90 per cent,
nor nine per cent—no it cannot
be conceded that even one per
cent of our women are homely.
Thre are different standards
of judging feminine pulchri
tude. Turks and Eskimos are
said most to admire wom
en who, are, let us say,
plump, well-rounded, moon
faced. Others prefer the svelt
type. Ideas concerning beauty
vary.
The dictionary, defining
“beautiful,” says: “The defi
nition of ‘beauty,’ ‘perfection
of form,’ is a good key to the
meaning of ‘beautiful,’ if we
understand ‘form’ in its widest
sense.”
It is submitted that under the
terms of this definition (if we
understand “form” in its wid
est sense) all women are
beautiful. The dictionary goes
on to say, however, that “there
must be harmony and unity,
and in human beings spiritual
loveliness, to constitute an ob
ject or a person really beauti
ful.”
No attempt will be made to
answer for the women of Chi
cago as to whether they pos
sess the additional requirement
of spiritual loveliness. But it
can be said in behalf of the
fair ones of Hyder that they
have this, as well as unity and
harmony.
SCHOOL DAYS.
School days, school days, sad
dest and gladdest of the year.
Saddest for children who, with
the first day of school, must
bid farewell to the freedom of
vacation days and gladdest to
mothers who then begin their
vacation.
It is hard for outdoor and
play-loving boys to return to
school, but after a day or two
they find that school isn’t a
bad place to be after all.
The three R’s are not such a
bitter pill when taken with a
liberal doses of sports, recess
games and school-day’s com
panionship. There have been
two revolutionary develop
ments in education, namely
free schools and populai
schools. Once parents could
not keep their children in
school. The schools, not the
children deserve the credit.
Mother breathes a sigh of re
lief when school opens for
then she can pack the little
Indians off to school and en
joy a few hours of peace and
quiet, but when the summer
recess arrives she will welcome
relief from those two “pack
ings” a day. Teachers who
have had practical exeperience
in getting a child ready for
school can appreciate what
they ask when they urge their
pupils to report each session
with clean faces and hands,
clean clothes, hair combed and
teeth clean.
The great trek back to the
schoolroom has begun and the
shouts and laughtpr cannot be
distinguished from those thal
accompanied the equally greai
exodus last spring.
Just for Fun
There are people who nevei
lese an opportunity to enjoj
being miserable.
Its a great life if you don’t be
lieve in everything you see
hear, think or know.
The nicest thing about neigh
bor’s children is they nevei
turn out as badly as you ex
pect.
You are not old, not as lonj
as you enjoy living.
Love’s blind, but that shouldn’i
make a girl kiss everybody.
You have to cultivate gooc
habits. The bad ones grow
The best reflections cofrn
from thinking instead of look
ing into mirrors.
A writer says that a mar
should be master of his owr
home or know the reason why
Married men usually know th<
reason why.
Synonym: As rare as un
! rouged lips.
What part of our person d<
we lose when wfe lose our bal
anceV
_
The first dinner dance was o
; cannibals around a missionary
An unknown Chicagoan wh<
admitted the theft of a two
cent cake of army soap fiv<
| years ago recently sent tha
amount to army officials to ge
the matter off his conscience
Mombi-rsof the A. E. F., hav
ing had experience with armj
soap, will readily understanc
why it took the man so lonj
to come clean.
If the nurse is good looking
the sick man doesn’t care how
slow his recovery is.
I A poulterer say& the male
I goose is the best behaved of all
domestic fowls. ‘Sounds like
proper gander.
Wealthy New Yorker givesj
his bride a check for $100,000 j
as a wedding present. That ]
ought to just last ufltil the
temporary alimony payments
start.
“What makes you always so
popular?”
He asked the speedy young
spark.
And she said with a grin,
As she powdered her chin:'"
“I keep all the boys in the
dark.”
Only occasionally do you find
a genius, and when found he
is only a genius occasionally,
at that.
One thing worse than a quitter
is a fellow who is afraid to be
gin.
Fond Mother-I’m going to
have the baby’s picture taken
today.
Not-So-Fond Father-Have itj
taken when he’s asleep. I’d
like to know what he looks
| like that way.
The honeymoon is over when
he stops calling her darling
and calls her “say.”
At any liate, Adam wasn’t al
ways being nagged about some
other woman.
Anyone who has ever tried to
get a decent job of lawn-mow
ing done knows what the prob
lems are of the employer.
“I want you to sing for me in
New York,” said the American
concert agent; “what are your
terms?”
The great tenor named his
fees for a series of 50 concerts,
a colossal sum. The agent gasp
ed.
“But that is just three times
what we pay our president!”
he exclaimed.
‘Well, why don’t you get your
president to sing for you ? ” was
the reply.
n
Chamber
of
Commerce
Hyder, Alaska
-o
Reliable Information
Relative To
PORTLAND CANAL
MINING DISTRICT
Speaking of two in one, there
are many people who find
their paradise in a pair o’ dice.
We like that man who comes
right out and says what he
thinks when he agrees with
us.
He-“When you promised to
obey at the altar you waived
certain rights.”
She-“Yes, but it wasn’t a per
manent waive.”
< TO ALL HOLDERS OF
SECOND LIBERTY LOAN BONDS
NOTICE OF REDEMPTION
All outstanding Second Liberty Loan 4
per cent bonds of 1927-42 (Second 4’s)
and all outstanding Second Liberty Loan
Converted 4*4 per cent bonds of 1927-42
(Seoend 4*4’s) are called for redemption
on November 15, 1927, pursuant to the
terms of their issue. Interest on all
Second 4’s and Secord 4*4*8 will cease on
•aid redemption date, November 15, 1927.
Holders of Second 4’s and Second
4*4's will be entitled to have the bonds
redeemed and paid at par on November
15, 1927. Such holders may, however,
in advance of November 15, 1927, be
offered the privilege of exchanging all or
part of their bonds for other interest
bearing obligations of the United States.
Holders who desire to avail themselves
of the exchange privilege, if and when
announced, should request their bank or
trust company to notify them when
information regarding the exchange offer
ing » received.
Further information may be obtained
from any Federal Reserve Bank or branch,
or from the Commissioner of the Public
Debt, Treasury Department, Washington.
A. W. MELLON,
Secretary of the Treasury.
Washington, May 9, 1927.
Genuine India Rubber Stamps
made to your specifications
right here in Hyder— Herald
Stamp Department.
PORTLAND CANAL LODGE
1218
LOYAL ORDER OF MOOSE
Meets Second and Fourth
Thursdays
Second Thursday in Hyder
Fourth Thursday in Stewart
“What is a roof garden?”
“That’s where people sow
their wild oats.”
The ability in greatest de
mand is reliability.
PROFESSIONAL
Jzxnt&i |SUu£
JNitonrcg at 'JSato
Jlgbcr, flasks
FRANK A. METCALF
CIVIL & MINING ENGINEER
U. S. MINERAL SURVEYOR
JUNEAU ALASKA
.— ...
GEORGE B. GRIGSBY
Attorney - at - Law
KETCHIKAN. ALASKA
John Hovland
Assay Office
Hyder, Alaska
CHAS. F, SANDFORD
NOTARY PUBLIC
HERALD OFFICE
For Rubber Stamp*—Herald
Office.
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