HYDER WEEKLY HERALD
Published Every Saturday
Application made for entry at the post office at Hyder, Al
aska, as second Jass matter, un^r the Act of March 8,
1879.
Chas. F. Sandford.. Editor.
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AN INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER
THE KICK IN KISS
A would-be crepe-hanger has
informed an indifferent and
unresponsive world that every
kiss indulged in shortens one’s
life three minutes. If this bird
has the correct dope he has
certainly suggested a delight
ful method of leaving this vale
of tears. If the pleasures of
kissing must be given up in or
der to reach a ripe old age, a
referendum on the subject
would undoubtedly be unani
mous in favor of an early but
blissful demise.
But brief reflection convinces
that the facts in the case are
contrary to the conclusions ar
rived at. There are no records
available of long distance
osculatory feats with their at
tendant losses, so one must re
ly more or less on personal ex
perience. The aforesaid exper
ience is usually convincing to
all but a few more fort
unate and oftener-kissed one’s
that they were born to outlive
Methuselah. For where is there
a man with soul so dead as to
admit that he has kissed more
than is good for him? And to
even enquire for such a woman
- is futile. Other evidence to re
fute the contention that oscu
lation shortens life might be in
troduced, but why trouble
one’s self about it? Even If one
could prove that a single kiss
meant instant death there
would be millions willing to
make the leap. A little kissing
now and then i3 relished by the
best of ’em.
But that is always the way.
No matter what the pleasure,
there is always some kill-joy to
denounce it. Each cigarette is
said to be a coffin nail; tight
shoes ruin feet and take all the
pleasure out of life; wars harm
all and benefit none. But the
consumption of cigarettes in
creases at an amazing pace,
tight shoes pinch nearly every
feminine foot and each war
has new innovations to delight
the military gentry.
.. CHRISTMAS PLEASURES ..
The Yuletide this year will
witness one of the largest bod
ies of eager people bent on ac
cumulating Christmas joys for
big and little folks that Amer
ica has seen since away
back ini914, when war clouds
had gathered over Europe and
the shadows had already be
gun to cast sinister reflections
upon the United States. Thus
the coming holiday may be ex
pected to display much of the
old time recognition of its dis
tinctive appeal to the young.
Its best celebration is that
which gives the foremost
thought to the children. It is
only when this idea is enlarged
and expressed that the season
secures its happiest celebrat
ion. The disposition to make
the season one for the indulg
ence of extravagant adult prac
tices and dissipations is de
structive of the real joy and
meaning of the holiday period.
The displays that greet us in
the stores serve more than a
practical or commerciel value
for shoppers. They recreate
in mature minds the eternal
joy of childhood. The season's
memories are the grown peo
ples chief joy—or should be.
No other season of the year so
stirs the heart of those who are
now the providers of those
same joys that were once
theirs.
If this spirit is not confined
to the mere selfish and narrow
limits of those “of our own”
but is expressed in making ful
ler the lives of those who need
our help, this Christmas tide
will be one of the happiest and
most useful of our lives.
-o
JOY IN WORK
Blessed is the man who finds
happiness in his work. It is the
one sure sign that he has found
his true vocation. He greets his
work each day with a singing
heart and loves his business.
Love is the greatest thing in
the world, and love for one’s
business is as natural as love
for one's family. Indeed, love
is the great partner of success
in life. There can be no real
real joy without it.
The morning should tell an
intelligent man many things.
Generally it rules his day. If
it starts wrong with him, the
day is spoiled. A dislike, on the
part of a healthy man, for be
ginning the work of the day,
is usually an indication he is
not in the right place. If en
thusiasm does not come in the
morning to the business man
he may be sure something is
radically wrong, whether his
habits, his health, or his occu
pation. When one wakes up in
the morning with regret that
he must get up and go to work.
he>may well understand that a
vital necessity of success and
happiness is not his, and that
it is high time for him to make
a change in something-in his
diet, his conduct or his vocat
ion.
Where there is a love for
one’s work there is always a
fair chance for success in that
endeavor, whatever it may be.
because love creates eagerness
to do and work for the thing
loved in order that it may pros
per. Those in a job only for the
pay envelope, get only that
out of their work. The pleas
ure they derive from the mon
ey is short-lived and is seldom
renewed by salary increases.
Employers do not reward with
higher pay those who work on
ly for love of the money.
Just for Fun
All things come to him who
waits, including poverty and
the undertaker.
"That stock he sold you is
worthless.”
“Oh, that's all right, so was
the check I gave him for it.’
Getting the other fellow’s cus- j
tomers away from him is not
nearly so important as keeping
our own customers satisfied.
A good way to enjoy the best
is to prepare for the worst.
Advice to young damsels
Never let a fool kiss you and
never let a kiss fool you.
Hubert Thomas says nobody
ever got dizzy doing too many
good turns.
Heaven also helps those who
don’t need it.
The nearer you get to some
people the smaller they seem.
Repartee
He: “I wish you could make
bread like your mother used
to make.”
She: “I wish you could make
dough like your father used to
make.”
Billy Bunting commends a
a merchant for telling a cus
tomer who asks for a cigar:
“Here is 9 cents worth of tin
foil and one cents worth of to
bacco.”
Death loves a shining mark,
yet there are lots of bald heads
spared.
A suitcase on rollers is the
most recent invention of Adolf
Mastoid. This will enable weak
men to carry more bottles.
Do you carry B-eliminators?”
asked the radio bug.
“No sir,” replied the clerk,
but we have cockroach powder j
and some fly swatters.”
A burglar broke into the home J
of an Indiana author and after 1
reading over a number of his i
manuscripts selected one of!
suits of clothes.
The short skirt is displaying
a marked willingness to meet
any girl half way.
Ed. Reynolds says an ideal
wife governs her temper as
easily as she does her husband.
“Your hat is becoming—”
she began.
“Oh, thank you,” returned
the enthusiastic wearer.
“Becoming a little worn out,”
finished the flatterer unmoved.
Style is that indefinable some^
thing that makes an otherwise
sensible women wear furs in
summer and low neck dresses
with short sleeves in winter.
!.. Haw, Haw!
i Mary has a skimpy skirt
That shows her skinny calf,
And every time she wears the
thing,
The men just laff and laff.
Pete Wilson says it is easy to
find trouble because nobody
wants it.
Many a man looks run down
because of the bills his wife
runs up, according to Dave Al
lan.
It looks to us that if women
cut their dresses down any
more, they’ll be cutting them
up so far that they might as
well cut them out altogether.
A male subscriber promised
to award this column a leath
er medal not long ago for not
having mentioned women’s
skirts one week. But we'll bet
he looks them over like the
rest of us, just the saifte.
r
"A
Chamber
of
Commerce
-o
Hyder, Alaska
-o
Reliable Information
Relative To
PORTLAND CANAL
MINING DISTRICT
Squeaky shoes always sound
loudest in church.
The caller rang the door bell
; and Mandy, the colored maid,
1 answered.
| “Is Mr. Jones at home?”
“No suh, he’s gone to the cem
etery, sah.”
“Will he be back soon?”
“ Taint likely sah, you see
jdey done went an’ buried him.”
—
I want to tell you of two folk
who’ve taught a certain truth
to me: The one appreciates a
joke, the other ne’er a joke can
see.
The one goes round with face
so long, looks like ’twould
stretch a mile! The other’s suf
fered much of wrong, but still
she always wears a smile.
I’m sure you’ll quickly com
prehend, the lesson taught me
by these two— the one who
smiles has many a friend; the
other has but few.
Genuine India Rubber Stamps
made to your specifications
right here in Hyder— Herald
Stamp Department.
PORTLAND CANAL LODGE
1218
LOYAL ORDER OF MOOSE
Meets Second and Fourth
Thursdays
Second Thursday in Hyder
Fourth Thursday in Stewart
PROFESSIONAL
piue
^ttornqi at ^ata
^Sgbcr, Alaska
FRANK A. METCALF
CIVIL ft MINING ENGINEER
U. S. MINERAL SURVEYOR
JUNEAU ALASKA
GEORGE 0. GRIGSRY
Attorney - at - Law
KETCHIKAN, ALASKA
John Hovland
Assay Office
Hyder, Alaska
CHAS, F, SANDFORD
NOTARY PUBLIC
HERALD OFFICE
HYPER FUEL CO.
DEALERS IN
WOOD, COAL, HAY and GRAIN
GIANT POWDER AND EVERYTHING NECESSARY
t-§ FOR BLASTING §-t
Hauling and Storage —o— General Dock Agent*
PREMIER AVE. NEAR FIRST
P BURNS & CO., LTD.
WE SELL ONLY GOVERNMENT INSPECTED
FRESH KILLED MEATS
SOLE AGENTS FOR BARTON’S CIRCLE W.
HAMS AND BACONS
Fresh Butter & Eggs Pure Lard & No. 1 Poultry
TRY OUR SUGAR C URED PICNIC HAMS
BEEF IS YOUR CHEAPES T FOOD; EAT MORE OF IT
A. J. MAYER P O BOX 123
...HYDER MACHINE SHOP...
HYDER GARAGE
Plumbing Steamfitting Black-smithing General Repairs
Authorized Ford Agent
Genuine Ford Parts
AGENTS FOR FAIRBANKS, MORSE
ENGINES & MACHINERY
HYDER
ALASKA
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