HYDER WEEKLY HERALD
Published Every Saturday
Application made for entry at the post office at Hyder, Al
aska, as second Jass matter,un^r the Act of March 8,
1879.
Ohas. F. Sandford. Editor.
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AN INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER
EXPLODING A MYTH.
Theso-called“summer slump’’
is the hallucination of an un
businesslike mind. Experience
has shown that “there ain’t no
sich animal,” except in imagi
nation. The only slump in busi
ness, if such there be, is the
natural slump when business
allows its summer advertising
to slump.
As a mater in fact, there are
abundant businesses that ef
fect their greatest volume oi
sales during the warm months;
and there are no business in
creases that are not reflected
in increases for other business.
The myth of the summer
slump dates back to those dark
ages when business was a hit
or-miss proposition. Silly super
stitions and foolish fears so
held it in leash that progress
was slow and difficult. One ot
the superstitions which none
dared smash was the belief
that business was permanently
alienated from hot weather
and nothing could reconcile
them. Finally some daring pio
neer broke the evil spell by in
creasing his advertising and all
but a few reactionaries have
been enjoying summer pros
perity ever since. It was one of
the earliest miracles of adver
tising.
No longer does progressive,
wide-awake business curtail its
advertising with the arrival
of the first hot spell. Instead, it
stocks up with summer goods
and gives them an equa'
chance with fall, winter and
spring stocks by advertising
them as heavily.
Even the coal dealer has prov
ed the summer slump a base
less legend. He advertises t
price concession for summei
coal orders and keeps hi:
trucks busy filling coal bin:
cellars f or the distant winter
If the coal man can keep busj
in hot weather, there is no ex
cuse for other business tc
apend the summer dusting
boxes, swatting flies and fig
uring business losses.
-o
A CITIZEN’S VALUE.
The value of a citizen to the
community can not be measur
ed in dollars. There is, how
ever, a reasonable basis by
which each citizen can deter
mine his own worth to the com
munity in which he lives. Each
can ask himself the question,
“Would the city be better off
if I leave it or would it be bet
ter off if I stay?”
There can be no half-way
mark. A person is either of
some positive value to his com
munity, or he is of a negaive or
ietrimental worthlessness. One
Is either a producer or a con
sumer, or both, or he is a mere
parasite living off of the work
and wealth of others. A person
may be of great value to a
community whether he works
with hands or head. The labor
er produces goods and service;
;he artist produces beauty; the
eacher produces citizenship;
die minister produces the
opportunities and suggestions
or spiritual thoughts and act
ons; the business man pro
luces the goods and merchan
iise necessary for sustenance
and comfort. All can produce
undness, cheer, cooperation,
love, friendliness and loyalty.
\nchorage Times.
■o
THINGS THAT
“CAN’T BE DONE.”
The world has always been
n need of men to do the things
that could not be done. The
leed is more pressing today
han ever.
When Columbus started out
:o sail around the globe men
aughed at him and told him it
■ould not be done. Columbus
lid not succeed in the attempt,
t is true, but he proved that
he thing could be done.
When Samuel Morse started
.0 transmit messages between
distant points by means of a
tiny wire, people said it could
not be done but Morse soon
proved differently. Fifty years
later Marconi showed people
how to talk through the air
without even the use of wires.
Edison achieved two things
that most people declared to
be impossible when he used
electric current to produce
light and when he reproduced
the sound of the human voice.
Motion pictures are another of
the “impossibles.”
There are other achieve
ments, seemingly impossible
today, awaiting accomplish
ment. They stand as a chal
lenge to the ingenuity of man
kind. The need of the world
is for men who can do these
things.
GALLUSES AND BELTS.
Approaching humidity brings
forward once more the con
troversy between those two
schools of male thought that
divide on whether to wear
galluses or a belt. But delicacy
as well as fairness councils
against going too fast on this
point. In this great agitation
between the men the women
doubtless will be content to re
main in a position of neutral
ity. So one can not countenance
the desperate efforts of the
minority to claim the women
for their side simply because
the modern tendency in femi
nine attire is to suspend the
garments from the shoulders.
Galluses or belts? A perfect
ly proper question and entitled
to an answer. Study the quest
ion from every angle, with
fearlesness as well as thought
fulness, and then be guided
without hesitation by the truth
as disclosed. If the truth is for
the belt, then obviously the
belt it is, but if it is for sus
penders then just as surely the
galluses win.
Just for Fun
Silence isn’t golden, it is plat
inum.
Your ship can’t come in un
less you ship goes out.
Too much money is bad for
you—if someone else has it.
A quack gets your money
and ducks.
Mary had a little dress,
A dainty bit and airy;
It didn’t show the dirt a bit,
j But gosh, how it showed Mary!
| Save The Surface—Save All
: Is it true that statistics prove
women live longer than men?
Well, you know paint is a
I great preservative.
Americanism: Trying to get
rich enough to afford an open
fireplace like the poorest cab
ins have.
Pleasant thoughts and a cold
refuse to dwell together in the
same head.
Most wives, to whom their
husbands seem only half a man
might find some young flap
per In possession of the other
half.
A recent example of tact by
the Concordia, Kansas Blade*
Empire is worth passing on for
the aid and comfort of the
journalistic fraternity at large.
In apologizing for mentioning
the age of a bride as 39 instead
of 29, the Blade says the trans
gression might just as easily
have been the other way as the
bride looked nineteen.
Another place the eternal tri
angle is present is in an orches
tra.
He had just been appointed
judge, and it was his first day
on the bench. His first case was
bootlegger. A little uncertain
as to what penalty to inflict,
he excused himself a minute,
went outside, and called an
old judge aside.
O, judge,’ he said. “I’ve got
a bootlegger out there and I
don’t know what to give him.’’
The old man replied—Don’t
give him over $4. I never do.”
Alaska Legionaire.
If the modern miss would lose
one hand of strip poker she
would look like a true daugh
ter of Eve.
Teacher was giving a lesson
on bird lore to Mollie. “There
are many kinds of birds, spar
rows, robins, swallows, black
birds, crows, etc.”
“Dad says you are like a
crow, miss,” interrupted Molly
importantly.
“A crow, I don’t think so,
Mollie,” was the indignant re
ply.
“Please teacher, father didn’t
say a common crow,” answer
ed Mollie eager to vindicate
her father. “Dad said you were
a scarecrow, miss.”
Its a frank age: Open cove
nants, open plumbing, short
skirts, courtship without turn
ing the lights down.
Chamber
of
Commerce
Hyder, Alaska
Reliable Information
Relative To
PORTLAND CANAL
MINING DISTRICT
Great men all say they got
their source of inspiration at
mother’s knee. Well, the mod
ern generation certainly ought
to get an eye full, for the
source of that inspiration is
certainly much more visible
now than ever before.
The modern girl may have
more pep and vivacity, as
claimed, but no one has been
able to figure out a way to har
ness any of it to a cook stove or
wash tub.
We wonder if the middle-aged
women feel any younger after
their hair has been bobbed,
say, a couple of years.
“Haycraft was almost drown
ed last night.”
“No, how come?”
“The pillow slipped, the bed
spread and he fell in the
spring.”
A Yale player was teaching
some cowboys how to play
football. He explained the
rules and ended as follows:
“Remember, fellows, if you
can’t kick the ball, kick a man
on the other side. Now let’s
get busy. Where’s the ball?”
One of the cowboys shouted:
“Never mind the ball! Let’s
start the game.”—Ex.
I
PORTLAND CANAL LODGE
1218
LOYAL ORDER OF MOOSE
Meets Second and Fourth
Thursdays
Second Thursday in Hyder
Fourth Thursday in Stewart
CHAS. F. SANDFORD
NOTARY PUBLIC
HERALD OFFICE
John Hovland
MINING
H y d «r, Alasxa
Bad luck is usually cussed
for bad luck, while good luck
is usually taken for granted.
Principal: “Son, what does
this 60 on your report card
mean?”
Son: “I don’t know, man,
maybe its the temperature of
the room.”
The bashful young man was
taking a young girl to supper.
While seated cozily at the
table on the porch of the
country inn, she said:
“Oh Harold, did you hear the
chimney swallow?”
“That wasn’t the chimney,”
aaid Harold, blushing, “that
was me.”
A resident of Dawson re
cently bought a house in that
city for $100 and had his in
vestment paid within $1.90 a
few hours after moving in,
when he found $98.10 under
neath the old carpets. In relay
in g a strip of linoleum he
found that he could not make
it lie flat. Reaching under the
linoleum to remove the ob
stacle, he pulled forth four $20
bills, one $10 bill and a 10 cent
coin, all wrapped together.
Further inspection of other
corners of the building result
ed in the disclosure of a $5 bill
and three $1 bills.
PROFESSIONAL
Jfivm&t plus
(Attorney at
Jtgber, Alaska
FRINK A. METCALF
a, N aa:
am t mining
U. S. MINERAL SURVEYOR
JUNEAU ALASKA
GEORGE B, GRIGSBY
Attorney -at- Law
KETCHIKAN. ALASKA
A. J. MAYER
P O BOX 125
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