HYDER WEEKLY HEkALD
Published Every Wednesday.
Application made for entry at the post office at Hyder, Al
aska, as second class matter, under the Act of March 8,
1879. __
Chas. F._Sandford. Editor.
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AN INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER
The only serious criticism
made on congressmen for in
creasing their own salaries is
that, as usual, they avoided a
record vote.
And that criticism reaches
much wider than this bill.
Congressman know that the
increase was proper, but they
assum'd their constituents did
not. This is the common as
sumption.
Same Congressmen doubtless
have more sense than others,
but, taken as a whole, they
are not an impossibly stupid
lot. '■.??
If they would use the sense
they have, it would be enough.
B it when they dare use only
the sense they think their con
stituents have and measure
that by its stupidest samples,
the standard is too low.
All the intelligence a con
gressman has is not likely to
be too much for the public
need3.
To give less, because he
thinks his constituents have
less, is to malign his district
and to cheat his country.
-o
It is truly a world on wheels
we live in. Last year new mot
or vehicles cost the world
three and a third billion dol
lars.
Department of Commerce in
forms you that during the year
there were assimilated 3,300,
000 passenger cars and trucks
and 200,000 motor cycles. Av
erage price per car was $1,000,
per motor cycle $300.
Twenty-five years ago the
automobile was an experiment.
Today there is one to every
six persons—or nearly so.
-®
Advertisements may not be
read, as the non-advertiser*
say, but every time we make
a mistake in our advertisment,
the ink doesn’t get dry on the
paper before we hear aboul
it. Yes, the advertisements art
read. You read them and the
other fellow reads them too
-o
! The finest health tonic we
have been able to find is hard
work and lots of it. Actuallj
we have grown fat on it and
unhesitatingly recommend it tc
all others.
-o
| An exchange expresses oui
'sentiments thus:
! It is reported that one of the
fastidious married ladies oi
this town kneads bread with
her gloves on. This incidenl
may be somewhat peculiar, bul
there are others. The editor oi
this paper needs bread with
his shirt on; he needs bread
with his pants on; and unless
some of the delinquent sub
scribers to this “Old Rag oi
Freedom” pony up before long,
he will need bread without a
I darn thing on, and Alaska is
: no Garden of Eden in the win
ter-time.
Typographical errors cause
much trouble. We learned nol
i long ago of a newspaper thal
apologized for the statemenl
ithat Robinson Crusoe bathed
on Saturday. “We were mis.
taken,” says this-newspaper)
! “Robinson Crusoe always bath,
ed Friday.”
-o
| Speculations as to how fai
he public jobholders vvoulc
| tretch, if laid end to end ar<
'futile.
They’ll stretch as far as th<
public’s dollars will.
i An old philosopher once said
I “Most men do their duty in thii
world. Some men do just j
I little bit more.” And it is th<
j men who do the little bit mori
Jwho move the world.
Just For Fun
| The first real harbinger of
| spring is a general loosening
!up of buttons on the old over
coat. -
You can never tell how soph
isticated a girl is by the cut of
her gown. That’s why some
are in continual hot water.
An anonymous letter is some
! thing we say to a person’s face
I behind his back.
I -
| Ever notice where there is a
i piano to move how many fel
lows grab the stool?
Another advantage some peo
ple have, says Pete Wilson is
'that they draw full pay for a
j holiday.
A college man and his hair
are soon parted in the middle.
The man got up on the scales
to weigh, and found that he
had fallen off. He got up again.
Of course he had been across
the line.
Max B. says the fellow who
* courts his girl for about ten
years is probably waiting for
| her to become of age before
!he marries her.
—
! “The time will come,” shout
ed the female lecturer, “When j
| women will get man’s wages.”
“Yes,” shouted a little man '
jin the back seat, “Next Satur
day night.”
- .
; For the benefit of our local
! cross word puzzle fans we will
say that the most significant
three-letter word combinatons
are C. O. D., K. K. K„ F. O. B.,
and P. D. Q.
Once there was a little girl
who was as pure as the morn
ing dew. She had never read
“Flaming Youth” and didn’t
know Jeanne d’Arc from Sam
my Potts. She had never seen
a problem play and wasn’t in
love with Rudolph Valentino.
She died, poor girl, aged three.
The Blueberry Kid is some
thing of a philosopher, and this !
is the way he figures it
“Leading up to kissing a girl
the first time is a matter of
tact; the first kiss is a matter '
of pact; the second is a matter j
of act; and the rest of the kiss I
es are matter-of-fact.”
■ Can you beat it?
She—What makes you like:
|Bessie so well?
; He— Bobbed hair, flapper
! manners, vacant brains and too
much make up.
She-Why, I’m surprised IThat
certainly describes most of the
girls, but not Bessie.
He- I know it—that’s why I
like her so well.
Mrs. Clem Bassett wishes to
; inform the the public that her
! fire hose can not be used for
j fires by the general public. It
! is a private piece of property,
costing several hundred dol
lars, and every time there is a
fire the hose is taken and left
wherever the fire may be, and
she respectfully requests that
■ her hose be left alone, (from
an Exchange)
, A friend told us the other day
that it is really delightful to
see how generous some of the
, local ladies are.
“They just love to give one
another away,” she said.
Two street urchins stood in
front of the barber shop watch
ing the tonsorialist singe a
* customer’s hair,
i One said: “Wots e’ a doing to
, the feller, Mike?”
Mike replied: “Huh, guess
! they must be so small e’ has to
look fer ’em with a light.”
^Schmidt was apparently in a
hbrry to be going.
V What’s your rush Schmidt?”
remanded his friend.
“Veil,” the old derraan re
plied, “I go by mein home now,
und my vife shafe me.”
“What, you don’t mean to tell
me you let your wife shave
you?” the friend exclaimed.
“Led her! Himmel, man, I
don’d led her: I make her!”
A local lady who is said to be
obsessed with a desire to be
considered an intellectual per
son, was recently overheard to
tell a friend her impressions of
the French Revolution, after a
careful study of Carlyle’s fam
ous description.
“And just think what a re
markable sight.it must have
been,” she exclaimed, “with all
France in an uproar and those
picturesque French pheasants
singing the Mayonnaise!”
Sambo was making his get-a
way after hearing that the
sheriff was on his trail for
chicken stealing. He arrived at
the railway station breathing
very hard, just a few minutes
after the passenger train had
gone and demanded a ticket:
“But the train left five min
utes ago,” said the ticket sell
er.
Sambo hesitated a moment,
then shoved the money back
across the counter and gasped:
“Well, dats aw’right, boss; jes’
gimme a ticket and point out
de track.”
After trying innumerable
home remedies for a malady
affecting her back, an old
Scotch lady living in Aberdeen
consulted a doctor, who in
formed her it would be advis
able to paint her back with
iodine:
After the operation the lady
asked what the charge would
be.
“Three and six,” replied the
doctor.
“Three and six just far paint
ing^ny back!” the old lady ex
claimed: “Mon, dear, I’ve just
had my hale kitchen painted
for half-a-croon.”
30
Chamber
of
Commerce
-o
'Ryder, Alaska
-o-—
Reliable Information
Relative To
PORTLAND CANAL
MINING DISTRICT
r
Johni Hovland
AsIay Office
Hyder, Alaska
PORTLAND CANAL LODGE
1218
LOYAL ORDER OF MOOSE
Meets Secend and Fourth
Thursdays
Second Thursday in Hyder
Fourth Thursday in Stewart
^ttomeg at
ptgber, ^Maekzt
Wood. Coal Hay, Grain
Chicken Feed
BAGGAGE mi
hoi TRANSFER
QUia SERVICE DELIVERY ANTTOtl
DAILY STAGE LIME
Up Salmon River Valley
No Job Too Bift or Too
Small For Us To
Handle
SADDLE HORSES ft TEAM YOU
M. R. Jamieson, Agent
OFFICE REAR UYIIER HOTEL
Job Printing Neatly Done At
. The Herald Job Shop.
A. J. MAYER
P O BOX 12-3
...HYDER MACHINE SHOP...
HYDER GARAGE
Plumbing Steamfitting Black-smithing General Repairs
Authorized Ford Agent
- Genuine Ford Parts
AGENTS FOR FAIRBANKS, MORSE
ENGINES & MACHINERY
HYDER
ALASKA
I
LYON’S MEAT MARKET
EVERYTHING IN THE LINE OP
FRESH, PICKLED AND SMOKED MEATS
EGGS, BUTTER AND CHEESE
A SPECIALTY
| SWEET MIXED AND DILL PICKLES, SAUERKRAUT
MINCE MEAT
SALT AND SMOKED FISH
AGENT FOR BARTON’S CIRCLE W SMOKED MEATS
J. O. LYON :::::::::: :::::::::: PROPRIETOR
HYDER FUEL CO.
HOLGER JOHNSON, MANAGER
COAL WOOD
SAULING STORAGE
PREMIER AVENUE NEAR FIRST
SALMON RIVER BANKING COMPANY
HYDER, ALASKA
(Incorporated under the Laws of Alaska )
4 PER CENT -I’AID ON SAVINGS...
■ " ■ . — .HANK ACCOUNTS....
Canadian Funds Accepted on Deposit
Money Telegraphed to all Par ts of the United State*
J. A. HALL, Prei. D. LIUDEBORG, Vice-Pres. E. D. HADDOV, Asst, Cash#*
N. M. Traversy. E. M. Trawiy.
TRAVERSY’S
PAINT STORE
fPakh, Oik, Siam, Vanishes, Wall Paper, Wan Fek
PAINTING AND PAPER HANGING
I
SIGNS
MAIN STREET
HYDER