St ory I ets
Tke Adventure* of * Clock"wkeel
By Lyle Morris ,
I am a clock-wheel. 1 was going around and around. I
got kind of dizzy and stopped and went the other way for awhile.
The clock went backwards and the people who owned me won
dered what was the matter. They took me to a watchmaker.
He had a hard time finding out what was the matter with us.
He threw me in a garbage oan and I landed on a piece of meat.
A little dog came along and ate me up. Oh, boy, it sure was
dark in that dog's stomach!
I started to go around and around again and got the dog all
dizzy. He staggered home and his master didn’t know what
was the matter with him so he took him over to a doctor, who
operated on him and took me out. He threw me out the window
and a man who was selling clocks came over and picked me up
and put me in a clock again.
Tke Runaway Pony
By John Pytel
Once I had a pet pony. One day I went to put a rope and
a halter on him. When I opened the door he ran out. I chased
him around and around a tree. Then my grandfather came out
and he chased the pony around and around. The pony had a
lot of fun.
History of & Copper Penny
By Lyle Morris
Once 1 was in a big, huge mountain. I had been in there a
long time. One day I heard a lot of noise. I was suddenly
blown out of my resting place. 1 heard a lot of noises and jab
bering all around me. I ran down a shute and went into a little
train. It ran quire awhile through winding tunnels. Then I
went into a large bucket and out iuto the open air. It sure was
high up there in that bucket!
I got down to the trambousc. Prom there I went into the
Crusher and through the taih and was broken into little tiny
pieces. 1 got into a railway ore car and stayed in there for
about a month. Then the car started to move. It went down
to Cordova and some men loaded the sacks onto a boat.
The boat started moving. We traveled about a week At
the end of the trip I was stamped and banged around until I be
came a penny.
.'. Playing Indian
By Tom O’NeiSl
I made a wigwam and I made a fire in it. f made the fire
with rocks and wood. W6 played Indian in the wigwam.
Craziflcd Ads
LOST—An umbrella belonging to a gentleman with a curi
ously carved ivory bead.
WANTED—Young man to take care of horses with a reli
gious turn of mind. •
WANTED—House, suitable for small family that has been
recently papered and painted.
FOUN D~ A canary cage by a gentleman filled with birdseed.
Wit & Wisdom
The professor: “When ybu write, Tommy, try to do, it .
more simply and directly, so that people understand you with
out having to read over two or three times. For instance, if you
want to tell about a man walking down the street, merely say
that since there was nothing more exigent pressing him at that
particular dimension of boundless time and infinite space, a cer
tain reactionary psychological phenomenon caused a specimen
of tiie genus homo sapiens to place one of his motorpedestrianal
exterior appendages directly in front of his other similarly con
structed limb, thus propelling himself at such a velocity as tore
quire a constant repitition of this performance to keep himself
from falling flat on his face."
Mrs. McCann: "Oh, Pat, the baby can walk now!”
Pat McCann: "That’s fine. Now he can walk back and
forth at night by himself.”
Jack Howard had heard that Americana are good at conun
drums. So, when he came over from England for the first time
and registered at the Ambassador hotel in New York, he asked
the clerk: “I say, old topper, do you know any conundrums?”
“Why yes,” said the clerk, “Here’s one. My mother has a
child and it is neither my brother nor my sister. Who is it?”
Jack couldn’t guess so the clerk told him, “It is myself.”
Jack thought the conundrum so good that later on he told
it to some friends. “Bah Jove, ’ said he, ‘you know, iny mother
has a blitherin’ child, and ‘tis ne;ther my brother nor my sister.
Who is it?”
Nobody could guess, so Jack told them, “Why, it is the
clerk down at the Ambassador hotel!”
On one of the emergency trips of the 8.S. General Gorgas
to Alaska, nothing but liquor and tombstones were unloaded nt
one port. Appropriate combination.
Charlie Erickson had rather a bad accident the other day
He had a boom and pulley rigged up on the roof of the mill, and,
while standing on the ground between the railroad tracks, he
was trying to lower a barrel of bricks from the roof. He man
aged to swing the load out into tne air, and then found that the
bricks were too heavy for him. The barrel started down and
Charlie started up. Half way they met each other and the bar
rel had some staves knocked out. But Charlie kept on going up
and by the time he hit the pulley he was going pretty fast.
When the barrel of bricks hit the ground, it landed with
such a jolt that the bottom was knocked out. > So the barrel left
the bricks behiud, and Charlie, still hanging to his end of the
rope, started down. This time he was quite a bit heavier than
the empty barrel, so he shot downward very rapidly, and banged
up the barrel pretty badly as they passed each other When he
landed on the pile of bricks he felt kind of numb, so he let go of
the rope. This caused the barrel to come sailing down and
light squarely on top of Charlie
Reports claim that the barrel was demolished.
The professor: “If I’ve talked too long, it’s because 1 have
n6 watch with me and there’s no clock in this room.”
johnney: “There is a calendar behind you.”
Strength is the ability to overcome strong weaknesses.