r'£s Two Irishmen who had never
seen a trail’, of cars were walk
ing down a rail road track.
Soon an r.pproac hirg locomo
tive caused them to turn, where
upon they doubled their pace.
The rumble and roar of the monster
grew more terrible. Suddenly Mike
cried out “Pat,in the name of all the
slints lets take to the corn field.”
“Nothing doin Mil e dont ye/e know
that if we cant kape ahead of the
bloody baste on this good road we
couldent do it in a corn field.”
Wise—Say Otherwise can you
court?
Otherwise—Sure I can count.
Whatcfcer take me for?
Wise—Can you count a billion
dollars?
Otherwise—I’d like the job l etcher
boots.
Wise—Did you know that if you
count and stack sixty silver dollars a
minute, and work eight hours day
that you would have to keep at it for
nearly a hundred years.
Otherwise—Great Scott and little
fishes!
Wise-Say Otherwise, did you know
that a billion silver dollar slaid
down flat with their edges touching
would reach nearly around the earth
at the equator.
Otherwise-Jhnminie Crickets!
AN AISY JOB
“Oach Biddy,come at onct to this
country. Its an illegant land. Oim
working at the parsonage.
Oi have an illegant job. Oi do the
cooking and wash the dishes; Scrub
the floor and clain the windows;
Do the swaiping and the dusting;
Bring in the kindling and carry oat
slops. I)o the family washing and
ironing; CJain all the rooms onct a
wail:, and the mistress does the rest.
——
On a business trip to the city a far
mer decided to take home to his wife
a Christmas present of a shirt waist.
Going into a store and being dir»cted
to the waist department,he asked
the lady clerk to show him some.
“Wliat bust?” asked she.
The farmer looked around quickly
and answered: “I don’t know; I didn’t
hear anything'. 1.allies’Home Journal
According to the Literary Digest
the population of the U.S. 1910, was
92,000,000. If we include, Alaska,
Hawaii a id Puerto Rico,our populate
o: 1 is 9.3.402,151, and adding the Phil
ippiaus and other dependencies w e
find over 101,000,000 persons under
the American Flag
THE POETS COMER
1£. 1). I tor
Did you esc: heir the patter
Of the rain on shingles near?
With its music soft and soothing
There is nothing to compare.
To the lad that’s stout and hearty
Tired with his work and romping,
What a welcome rest awaits him
Where the rain comes dropping,
dropping.
There is music in the attic
‘Neath the shingles o’er his head,
There is rhythm in the patter
For the dreamy boy in bed.
Oh! you’ve missed in this world’s
clatter
Mellow music rich and rare,
If you never heard the patter
O'er the bed away upstair.