HYDBR WEEKLY HERALD
«%• tfs
Published Ever*' Wednesday.
Application mod* fOr eotry at the post office at Hyder, Al
aska, as secono iass matter, un^r the Act of March 8,
18?* .. __
Chat. P.
Editor.
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AN INDi-A* WDENT ' =f APER
Conservation , of. conversation
would help-tpo.. much talk has.
spoiled many a good things
--o—
A l>ttle Duff of air can inflate
prices, but it takes, a sledge
hammer to reduce them.
-0..
I
There are women who spend
a lot of their time trying to
disprove what the wrinkles are
saying.
--o—
Modern life is such: that one*
half the world is too busy to
find out how the other half
lives.
-o
UNSATISFACTORY ENDING
The withdrawal of the names
of Judges Reed, and Ritchie
and District Attorney Shoup as
nominees for Alaska offices
brings to a close one of the
most disgraceful chapters
in Alaska’s political history.
From the presidential, point of
view such action probably ap
peared expedient, in view of
the apparent inability-of the
Senate Judiciary committee to
deeide upon either their con
firmation or rejection; despite
the fact that their accusers
represented no more than a
group of self seeking politici
ans, while their endorsers in
cluded the bulk of the best j
citizens of their various die- j
tricta.. We cannot blame the ;
president for growing - tired of j
the ldhg. continued campaign
of calumny and villification
and deciding to end the matter
by withdrawing the nominat
ions. The-fact remains, how
ever that in so doing he has
brought the appointment of
the federal judges of Alaska
clearly - within the - domain of
politics, where ibwas never in
tended to he* and has also cre
ated a situation wherein thole
who have-been madethe tar
gets for<infamous attack* can'
obtain no * redress - whatever
and mu*b«enithMe-to bear the
stigma of thO- chargee- made
against, them,? regardless of
whether they are guilty omiik
recent. The Action ofthepres
dent can have no other effect
than to perpetuate the slander
ous misrepresentations and ly
ing calumnies, which have so
unjustifiably besmirched the
names of honourable and cap
able officials and also branded
the Territory as one of the
most disorderly and disgrace
ful spots on earth.
With all due respect to the
desire of Washington official
dom lu cml the regime of char
acter traducing and scandal
mongering it is nevertheless
regrettable and hardly fair to
those who were accused that
the record should be summari
ly closed before every reason
able effort had been made to
determine the truth or falsi
ty of the charges.
-o
GETTING NEW BUSINESS
The progressive business firm
'inds that it needs to be con
stantly making new friends
md creating a new circle of
customers. If it just depends
on satisfying those who have
previously bought its goods, it
is likely to see its trade dimin
ished.
Population changes much more
apidly now than formerly,
ind if a firm has a certain list
>f customers this year, it can
expect, as the result of all the
changes that naturally occur,
•hat a considerable proportion
of those customers will not be
>n the list in a year or two.
Also people are changeable
in their habits, and unless a
ery energetic effort is made
o hold old customers by ad
vertising, a lot of them will go
elsewhere, attracted by the
various inducements that are
•jffered them.
People are not much inclined,
is they were often formerly,
’iust to trade at one place or a
‘ew places right along year
after year. They are quick to
jdt the idea, if some - firm
teems to be hustling a little
harder than its competitors to.
please the people, and no feel
ing of habit or sentiment of j
loyalty is apt to hold them, if
they think they can do better
by going elsewhere for some
thing; they want.
By an active campaign of ad
vertising, a firm can keep-,
making new business friends,
to make up for those who drift
elsewhere. It does not take
elaborate persuasion to win
such new customrs in these
times.
People hre ready to go to any
place of business where the
spirit of enterprise and hustle
seems to prevail. A concern
that makes it a regular prac
tice to advertise, even if it does
not take any great amount of
space, will have a constant
stream of inquirers entering its
doors, who will more than!
make up for old customers who
go elsewhere.
Just for Fun
Dale says beauty is not skin
deep these days. It is knee
deep or deeper. ,
Hats off, to the fellow who
knows nothing and knows he
knows nothing.
An Alaska exchange reports:
“The man was killed by a
flask of lightning.”
Pete Wilson says- “Save your
pennies and your heirs will
take care of your dollars.”
Yes, Mary, as a general rule,
gold fish are unaccustomed to
earrings.
The flapper may be hard
boiled os alleged but she
surely wears scrambled hair.
“Ha, I will fool those blood
hounds,” he muttered, and
slipping on a pair of rubbers
he erased his tracks.
Caller: “What time do your
folks dine?”
Sail: “Soon as you're gone.
That’s missus orders.”
Albertson: “All you think
about is pleasure.”
i Friend Wife: “That’s right.
The only pleasure I get is
thinking about it.”
We haven’t heard much about
that Florida boom lately.
Gues everybody that used to
talk to us about it has gone
down there.
She (from comer of the
auto): “You look dreadfully
cold over there.”
He (hopefully): I am.”
She: “Bend over here till 1
turn up your collar for you;”
Mother: “Mary aren’t you
getting too big to play with the
boys?”
Mary: “Oh, no, mother; the
bigger I get the better I like
them.”
According to the Blueberr;
Kid if a woman does house
work for $5.00 a week, that’s
domestic service;
If she does it for nothing',
that’s matrimony.
First Clerk (bumping into roll
of. barbed wire ): I wish that
roll was in the lower regions.
Second . Clerk:: Better wish it
somewhere else—you might
run into it again.
AN ODE BY BEN
She doesn’t like
A shady joke.
She doesn’t hike,
She doesn’t smoke.
She doesn’t swear,
She never flirts:
She doesn’t wear
Those shortened skirts.
She doesn’t dance,
She doesn’t sing.
And goofs in pants,
Don’t mean a thing.
She doesn’t use
The beauty salves;
But won’t refuse
To show her calves.
You ask her name?
Well, that’s a wow—
She’s not a dame,
She’s just a cow!
RECOGNIZING THE BOSS
(Charleston, S. C. Post)
Wanted—A baby fifteen
months old, wants two rooms
with privilege of bringing par
ents. References. No profi
teers. Phone 2595-L today.
Prison Visitor (sympathetic
ally) : “Now, my good man,
what brought you here?’’
Convict: “Mistaken confi
dence.”
Prison Visitor: “Really—in
whom were you deceived?”
Convict: “Sfyself—I thought
I could run faster.”
A small boy was passing
along the street when a parrot,
from its cage on the porch,
screamed at him, “How do ye
do?”
The boy stopped in astonish
I ment. The bird called a second
I time and a third. The boy re
moved his cap with a polite
bow and said: “Very well,
HYDER M. E. CHURCH
Services Every Sunday
at 8 p. m.
Sunday School at 11 a. m
Everyone Welcomr
Rev. C. T. Hatten, Pastor
Chamber
of
Commerce
Hyder, Alaska
Reliable Information
Relative To
1 PORTLAND CANAL
I MINING DISTRICT
thank yoij, sir. Excuse me for
not answering you sooner, but
I really thought you were only
a bird.”
First Occupant of the Bath
house--“Are you dressing for
bathing?”
Second Occupant:—“No, just
taking off my clothes to see if
I have my underwear on.”
A Southern land owner was
returning home late one night
when he was startled to see,
in the bright moonlight, a dis
heveled looking negro come at
top speed down the road.
“Here, stop a minute, what’s
the trouble?” he demanded.
“You seem mighty scared.”
“Ah is skeered,” replied the
colored one, slackening his
speed somewhat, “Ah seed a
ghos’ down to de graveyard.”
“But you’re running toward
the graveyard now, instead of
away from it.”
! “Ah knows dat, su'h, but de
| graveyard Ah is runnin’ f’om
am fo’ counties back.”
Some men worry more over
what they owe their ancestors
than they do over what they
owe to their creditors. ,
“So you wish to leave to get
married, Mary? I hope y,ou
have considered the matter
seriously?”.
“Oh, I have, mum. I’ve been
to two fortune-tellers and a.
clairvoyant, and looked in a
signbook, and dreamed on a
lock of ’is ’air, and I’ve been
to a medium and a asterologist,
and they all tell me to go
ahead, mum. I ain’t one to
marry reckless like, mum.”
John Hovland
Assay Office
Hyder, Alaska
PORTLAND CANAL LODGE
1218
LOYAL ORDER OF MOOSE
Meets Second and Fourth
Thursdays
Second Thursday in Hyder
Fourth Thursday in Stewart’
Jzxmsi plue
JVitm-ncit at ^atn
Alaska
GLAD
TO HAVE
Your Business
ANY BUSINESS THAT tries to get along without a bank
is a very small business, even then it is not too small but
! that its financial affairs should be handled through a bank.
A BANK IS one of the most important factors in the bust
I ness life of the country.
TRANSACT YOUR business through our bank, no mattet
] how small it is now—the bank may help make it larger.
Bank of IIyder
J. A. HALL. Pres. E E. HALL, Vice-Pres. E. D. HADDON. Cashier
A. J. MAYER P 0 BOX 123
...HYDER MACHINE SHOP...
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P. BURNS & CO., LTD,
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FRESH KILLED MEATS
SOLE AGENTS FOR BARTON S CIRCLE W.
HAMS AND BACONS
Fresh Butter & Eggs Pure Lard & No. 1 Poultry
TRY OUR SUGAR CURED PICNIC HAMS
BEEF IS YOUR CHEAPEST FOOD; EAT MORE OF IT
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PREMIER AVENUE NEAR FIRST