A Ticket Scalper's Story.
[Original.)
I'm a ticket scalper. It's not much
of a business and doesn't give a man
much ot a position iu the world, br.t n
scalper has a human heart. Just like
any one else. A scalper u\ay feel In
clined to bestow that heart upon a wo
man. I bad that Inclination once, but
I'm never going to have It again. Wo
men arc the most ungrateful creatures
In the world A woirnn who would
treat a man as one of .'em treated ine
Isn't tit to live on the face of the earth.
One day a pretty, melancholy looking
girl of perhaps twenty-two came luto
my oQlce aud said she wanted to get
to her mother, wbo was lying sick ia
Cincinnati. She said she was broke
and wanted a ticket for about nothing
I had half a mlud to give her a ticket,
charging up the amount to myself, but
that would be glvlug a stranger some
thing like ?10. and, while, as I said, a
ticket scalper has a heart, he Isn't the
kind of man t?? give thlugs away
that he can't aOford to give. I was
looklug among my old stock tor some
thing pretty cheap when I came across
an unused half of au old excursion
ticket, the limit of time of which had
long ago expired, it occurred to me
that if the girl worked on the sym
pathies of the conductor as she liad on
rniuc she might Induce him to pass her
through ou it. I told her what I was
thinking about and that if she was in
clined to try it od 1 would give her the
ticket tree of charge. She asked If
there would l?e anything dishonest lu
such au act, aud 1 told her 1 dldu't
think there would be; there would be
uo misrepresentation. 'If the conductor
wouldn't accept the ticket the worst he
could do was to put her off at the tlrst
?top aud she would Ik? just so far on
her Journey If she got stranded lu a
strange place she could get ou the uext
train and go farther ou the same ticket,
and so on.
She said she wouldn't do that, but If
the conductor would let her go through
on the ticket she would do so. The
ticket had been paid for by some one.
and she dldu't think the road had a
moral right to refuse It. I agreed with
her as to that, and she accepted the
ticket with heartfelt thanks and tears
In her eyes. She looked hungry, aud I
asked her if she was going through
without anything to eat. She said
she'd have to. and I felt so sorry for
her that I asked her to go out to a
restaurant and tilled her up with oys
ters. beefsteuk aud a lot of other
tblugs. I remember the bill was 5>3.oO.
ller train went at 12;0j o'clock, so l
took her to the theater. If you want
to love any one. Just do sotuethiug for
'em. The more I did for this poor girl
the more I thought what a lovely home
she could uiake for uu*. By the time I
left her at the station I would have
bought her a good ticket, but I'd spent
all my money. 1 told her to keep up
her courage aud she'd go through all
right. She said that 1 was oue of na
ture's uobleiuen and 1 would be re
warded for my kindness to her. As
the train moved away she wave 1 her
band to me out of the coach window,
looklug at tue with tearful eyes.
It wasn't a week tiefore I received
a note from the attorney of the road
over which I'd given the girl a ticket
stating that they had a case against
me for swindling and must either shut
up my shop or they would send me to
state prison. I went at once to the
attorney's office and asked to know
what It meant, lie showed ma the
ticket I had given the girl with a sick
mother and asked me If I'd sold it to
a deaf aud dumb girl. I denied the
charge and admitted I'd given It to a
girl who could talk as well as 1 could
Then he told me how the ticket had
been used.
Tile gil l had I* iked It at the conductor
w hen he came around, and he told her
it was no g">od. She began to talk to
him w i h her lingers, aud, seeing her
condition, he had given her a pencil
an I paper ou which she wrote that a
ticket scalper had sold the ticket to her
for the regular fare. The road was
trying to get a case to scare us scalp
er^. and the conductor, backed by the
passengers, who were Indlgnaut at
such treatment of a poor deaf and
dumb girl, p issed her through, but he
stipulated that she should give the
name of the scalper, which she did
willingly, expressing the hope that they
would punish him soundly.
Well. 1 told my side of the story,
and wheu they sent to the address the
girl had given them for corroboration
of her side they found there was no
such street and number in existence.
The officers of the road believed that
the poor girl shrank from appearing
against me and had, therefore, thus
concealed her abode. But, not having
any evidence against me, they didn't
prosecute me. though I remained un
der a cloud with them.
Not long ago lu looking over a uews
paper my eyes were attracted to an
lte:u headed. "Working the Deaf and
Dumb Racket." The Item stated that
Mary Moyers had been arrested for
traveling on railroad trains on worth
less tickets and pretending to be deaf
and dumb. She represented that the
tickets were sold her by ticket scalp
ers. thus exciting the sympathy neces
sary to get herself passed und often to
draw forth a contribution from the
passengers. I sent the clipping to the
officers of the railroad she had swin
dled. and they wrote me a note of
apology.
But I don't want any more women lb
mine. MERRICK ANGUS.
Humor and Philosophy
By DUNCAN M. SMITH
<? ? ?
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
Sometimes a reformer U simply a
man who didn't get In on tbe game.
An upright life Is luerltably followed
aooncr or later by n downright death.
It la no evi
dence that there
is no good side to
n nnrtiT5<?cntis? ho
can't make good.
If Mr. Uoose
velt's vlewsonthe
nice suicide ques
tion Were to be
come popular.
Who Would take
care of the pur
doRitles?
Then- probably Isn't any use In bor
rowing trouble; but. theu. some people
Just lia\e to borrow something.
Prosperity Is lu the main a relative
thing, and we arc nil dead anxious to
have It relate to us.
When we think our neighbor is get
ting Jiia just reward, be sometime*
seems Inclined to think that ho Ts pay
ing a penalty.
When the devil forgets yon It is time
for you to <'o oiue hard thinkiug. Per
haps he is trusting you entirely to look
out for him.
_ i
Most girls think that too much waist
Is a waste of good material.
Spring Affliction. ?>
Hear thfr.i nolso* -
In your head.
I.Ike a fish peddler
Trying to wake up
A deaf and dumb customer?
Keel that funny business
In your blood
That in. i ken you want to go fljhtng
Or nowhere.
Just so
lt'? somewhere?
Don't call a doctor. . ,
It ain't no serloua *
Symptoms. .>
Them noises T -
And feelings ^
Is Ihc call of the soil?
Wants you to come back *
And make your living
Farming
As In the good old days.
You see yonreelf
Following the plow.
Feeling the breath of spring
In your nostrils
And swearing at the off mule.
And. soy.
It seems bully?
At pcace with the world.
And no store bills
To pay till fall. .
You see your wife
In a sunbonnet *
Chasing the pesky hen
That wants to set )
Too previously.
You w the kids
Going off to the red schoolheu**
Where you wus taught. ?
And It is all fin*.
Don't worry.
You'll get over It
Before you quit your Jofc J
And start to tuckle
The heavy lifting.
Surprised Him.
_ 0L.
"I made a jftv.it bit with then* new
clothes."
"With whom?'"
"llr tailor. Paid cosh."
Couldn't 8wear.
"That must lie an old grouch. I
asked hiui v. bat was the matter with
hia baud, and he never Bald a word."
"That fellow with bis baud In a
sling?"
"Yes*
"He 1* a deaf and dumb matt who
stepped on n tack yesterday and dis
located three Ungera trying to express
himself."
No Proof.
He bought h block of mining stock, 4
Which wasn't any sljfn
That somewhere <>n this fruitful earth
Thorc was a i^ytn* ml.ie.
Plain Cist.
"What is the matter with Banker
Jones? He looks worried."
"I hear he has a lot of undigested se
curities."
"Why don't be cut out them fancy
dishes aud stick to pie?"
Same Family.
"1 am extraordinarily fbnd of fic
tion." ~ \
"Yes, I know."
"Why, ! never told you, did I?"
-"Well, you said you like compli
ments."
Method.
"He Is always making a play for
sympathy."
"Yes, and I notice that he wants a
?liver plate on It a dollar thick too."
Quantity, Not Quality.
"Ever}- man has his hobby."
"Yes, and Brown has a dozen."
"Oh. well, you can't blame him, con
sidering the kind."
Could Look Wise.
"Spindle r is running for Judge."
"Is he qualified?"
"Sure! He bas a pair of ?pecUcl#*."
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
The only thins that some of us can
do that seems to count at all U to earn
our own living and Incidentally that of
Borne others.
If you can't keep the schedule,
transfer to another line.
The oftener a man makes the same
mis talc o the more certain he Is that he
Is right.
Opening, Hotel Savoy
Seattle
Additional four stories, containing
78 rooms, each with bath.
Twelve rooms'with bath, specially
constructed for commercial
display, size 16x28
A greater part of all these rooms
have an unobstructed marine
view.
The entire manceuvers of Atlantic
fleet can be seen in any part
1 1 of harbor at one glance.
Jutt a reminder that we have a few
rooms left in our *12 Stories
of Solid .Comfort1
Rates $1.00 Up
When a man acquires a sore spot he
Is apt to think tlie whole commuuJty
Is In a conspiracy to rub op against tt.
A general knowledgu of stars doesn't
necessarily fit a man for a chair In
astronomy.
Some men look out for themselves,
well satisfied that his Satanic majesty
will look out for the other fellow.
Dou'i li.iJ fault with your neighbor's
work unless he is on your pnyroll.
>100 Rawnrd ?100
The readera of this paper will be
pleased lo loam that there is at least
one dreaded disease that sclenoa haa
been able to cure In all Its stages, and
that is catarrh. Hall's Catarih Cure
is the only positive cure now known to
the medical fra<ernlty. Catarrh being
n constitutional disease, requires a con
stitutional treatment. Halt's Catarrh
Cure is taken lntemilly, acting directly
upon the blood and mucous surfaces of
the system, thereby destroying the
foundation of the disease, nnd giving
tha patient strength by building up the
constitution and assisting na<ure in do
iug Its work. The proprietors have so
much fall h in its curative powers that
they offer One Hundred Dollars for any
case it f h i Is to cure. S?nd for list of
testimonials. \
Address P.J. CHENEY tt Co,, Tole
do, Ohio.
Sold by Drugglsty, 75c.
Take^Hall's. Family Pills for consti
pation.'
Only One "BROMO QUININE," that to m
Laxative Rromo O11"1"16 dfl OB *v*y
Ceres* CoM in One Day, Crip in 2 Days
*9 25c
?>?<!
_T>? jfl
NEW AND FIRSTCLASS BEST ROOMS IN TOWN
RAJKS REASONABLE BAR IN C0NN30TI0N
Commercial Hotel
Richen & McGee, Proprietors
WH1TEHORSE, Y, T.
Wines, Liquors and Cigars Billiard and Pool Tables
First Class Cafe
Excellent Stahle Accommodations
Torn Music Made Whole
Vulnabl* Paptrt, Dxdi, Doomntnti, Money, TltlM, Eto.
it will take one minute to repair them
????? BY USING ?
STi:eK ? um
INVISIBLE BINDING TAPB
10-YARD ROLL 25 CENTS POSTPAID
Stick-Um Binding Tape Co.
LOCK BOX 04 DAYTON, OHIO, U. S. A. DEPT. A10
Go to Tony Dotero and try a Bull Dog
elf nr. lm
SEATTLE'S
Popular HotelJ
THE
Rainier-Grand
^European Plan $1 Up
WIIm* *.W3ilte Co.Prop.Chii Perry Mgr
WORK WEAKENS THE KIDNEYS
Dotn't Kidney !Pllli Hava Done
Grnntl Soryico for Poopla who
Work In Alaska
Most Alaska people work every day
in somi strained, unnatural position
bending constantly over a desk? riding
on jolting wagons or cars? dolcg labor
ious housework; lifting, reaching cr
palling, or trying the back in a hundred
and one different ways. All these
strain* tend 10 wear, weaken and Injure
the-ktdnovs until they fall behind in
t 'elr work of filtering the poisons fro a'
the blood. Doan's Kidney Pills cure
sick kidneys, put new strongth inj.bad
backs ?
W. H. Wood of 250 cottage St., Sa
lem, Ore., says: ''A good many yesrs
ago I got badlv kioked by a mule right
over the kidneys and at another time
while digging a well it caved in on me
also injuring my back. Since then I
have had more or less annoyance from
my kidneys. Change of weather caused
my baok to ache and when I worked
hard It became so lame thit I could
bardly straighten up after stooping. I
procured Doan's^Kianey Pills at a drug
store and since taking them, although
I have continued to work hard and be
exposed to severe weathe,, not an ache
or other symptoms of my former
trouble remains. This clearly proves
that Doan's Kidney Pills act up to
representations made of them. I also
know of other people who h ive derived
area-- benefit from their use. I a ami ad
to let others know the merits of Doan's
Kidney Pills for backache and kidney
trouble.
For sale by all dealers. Prioe 60
cants. Foatar-Mllburn Co., Buffalo, N.
Y., sole agents for the United States.
Ram ember the nam ??Doan's ? and
talaa n? (Mm
There's Vigor and
Strength
in every drop;
COTCPHNY
Seattle, Wwh.
Drink it at
The
Pack
Train
Salesn
SHEA * PATTEN
Proprietor*
CONTINENTAL
DISTRIBUTING CO.
Or?TK1?UT0M
OKATTLB
Headquarters for Mining and Commercial Mm
STRICTLY FIRST-CLASS
Pack train Saloon
SHEA A PATTEN, PROPS.
Broadway and biii Avtnut, Skagway, Alaska
A. Bloom
E. Kohacu
TELEPHONE 34
FREE DELIVERY
THE MONOGRAM
BLOOM & ORACH. Proprietors
WINES* LIQUORS AND CIGARS
Wo carry a Full line of Bar Supplies Direct Importers
Depot for A. B. C. Bohemian Bt, Loul* and Beattlo Bottle Beer
RfCfRTIFIfP SOLlHfa'S
mirnu lai^p stw
This Scrip takes immediate title
to either surveyed, or unsurveyed
land in Alaska, and is approved .
by the Government. Price g>30- 00
per acre in 40, 80 and 120 acre
pieces, or $50- 00 per acre in pieces
of from 1 to 20 acres
R. H. PEALE & CO.,
OAKLAND, CAL. SALT LAKE CITY. UTAH
1603 BRUSH ST. MERCANTILE ANNEX
')ii?iii!}iiiiimi8iiii:::iumwmiiimiiiiiiinffliiiiii?ii?iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii>in?ii?iii
CENTRALLY LOCATED BEST ACCOMMODATIONS
New Home Restaurant
MRS. MARY BERNHOFFEIl, Manaxar
Best 25 Cent Meals in the City
FIFTH AVENUE, NEAR BROADWAY
Good Clean Beds From 25 Cents Up
BATHS IN CONNECTION
:1:?:?t???iti?M?i>i;>itiiimw?iii????m?iiHntnm?n?mtm??nmmmnn?m
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HEATED AND LIGH i ED FINE SAMPLE BOOM
BY ITS OWN PLANT FOR DRUMMERS
ttlbite Pass
P. D McMillan, Manager
Cargest and best appointed fiotel in tlx Yukon
RATES MODERATE
Wbiteborse, VX
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MOORE'S UiHHRF CO.
Termlnu* W. P. & Y. Routo
All South Bound Steamers Arrive and Depart From This Doek
REGULATION? 1906
Warehouses pen for delivery of merchandise from 8 a. m. to 6 p. m.
Perishables v)NLY delivered on Sunday or at night
All frslght s lipmonts destined southbound must be accompanied by a
Shipper's Manifest (papers can be obtained at the U. S. customs
office) snd must bo delivered before 6 p. m. No freight will be re
ceived on wharf after this nour.
BAGGAGE? Tolls win o? collected on Checked Baggage Only. No
charge for bags and grips when unoheoked.
The wharf gate will be clopjd to the public when steamer Is nearing
dock and will be open ;d only when passengers have disembarked,
Wharfage Tariff can be had on application at office on dook.
P. O. Box 175. C. E. WYNN-J0HN80N, Genl Mgr j
uiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiMiniiiiiiiiiiiHiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimiiiHiiiiiiiiiii
? Ml
J
*
S
J
J
set THE
Our Service Is Always The Best
Our Rates as Low as the Lowest
CALL ON IIS FOR PRICES
V. I. HAHN. Supt
Rai'way Building
i ,
'in
Skaguay