Humor and
Philosophy
Br DVJVCAA M. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
J^XPERIENCE Is often bard to get.
but It is ours all right when we
get it.
A chance to make good is one thing
a boaster Isn't looking for.
Every thief Justifies himself by
pointing out a bigger thief.
Being honest is all that the most of
us can do without garnering any
worldly goods at the same time.
A good boss is often a poor work
man.
Talking too much is a habit thai
doesn't worry a silent man.
We spoak in an unknown tongue
when we talk of our feelings to the
person who has injured us.
When you can't look out for your
own Interests without doing damage
to others somebody is trespassing.
Being slightly insane Is the mental
diversion of a lot of people.
Don't be alarmed when you see a
man with a swelled bead. It isn't in
fectious.
Foresight.
I wish I knew as much about
The way that things are coming out
A year rr'>ra now as some folks do.
Though all they know may not be true. '
They pick their little candidate.
They straighten out the party slate.
And everything Is cut and dried
If but their rules can be applied.
They tell us Mr. Jones or Brown
?Will pull a nomination down
And. having got along that far.
Will run on like a parlor car.
Although it is a year ahead.
For them the final word is said.
They cannot with all seeing eyes
Guess how it could be otherwise.
But let tl- n hold their guessing match
And secrets for the future patch.
The people may Insist that they
Will have a word or two to say.
There may be smashing of the slates
As pretty Mary smashes plates.
And when we come to clear the wreck ;
Unheard of ones may rule the deck.
A lot can happen In a yer.r
Which at this moment is not clear.
We might have war. which in Its turn ,
Would give us candidates to burn.
There may be Issues burning hot
Of which today we reckon not.
New measures rise and sbine and set.
And so do candidates, you bet.
Slight Exception.
"A straight line," said the wise man,
"the shortest distance between two
points."
"Unless"? began the objector.
"No unless about it. It is a positive
law."
"Unless, as I was about to remark,
there happens to be a bear standing
on the line."
It Certainly Does.
"Get wisdom."
"What for?"
"To use."
"Do you know what that does to
you?"
"What?"
"Makes you disagreeable."
Thought He Needed It,
"Guess what that pert Ann sent me."
"I can't Percy."
"A hot water bottle."
"Well, why didn't you?"
"Why didn't I what?"
"Put It at your feet"
Getting Them
Wholesale.
"I saw you
kissing Sister Sue
last night."
"Don't say any
thing about It. ,
Here Is a quarter
for being a good
boy."
"Quarter noth
ing! 1 want at
least a dollar.
They ought to be
worth a cent a
kiss."
Natural Result.
"I am dead broke."
"That so?"
"It Is sadly so."
"How did it happen?"
"1 have beeu out with a bunch of
live ones."
A Chestnut.
The bill collector always knows
The gentleman will say:
"I've got a deal about to close.
riease call again some day."
He takes his bills and moves along.
Goes gayly through the door.
As though he hadn't heard that song
A million times before.
Spiteful.
"Ours is an old family."
"That Is plainly to be seen."
"Do you think so? How do yon
see it?"
"It has all the earmarks of decrepi
tude."
Irresistible.
"She has learned to love another."
"And who Is the other?"
"Some one who has learned to run
an auto."
Best Meals
id The Ci'v at the
NEW HOME
RESTAURANT
NOONDAY QCr
DINNER 03
Lodging
Kverythin^ Clean and
First Class
Fifth Avenue near Broadway
U i B1 IK
A Woman Finds All Her Energy And '
Ambition Slipping Away.
Alaskan women know how the
aches and pains that come when the
kidneys fail make life a burden. Back
ache, hip pains, headaches, dizzy
spells, distressing urinary troubles, all
tell of sick kidneys and warn you of
the stealthy approach of dropsy or
Bright's disease. Doan's Kidney Pills
are for the kidneys only. They at
tack kidney diseases by striking at
the cause.
Can Alaskan sufferers desire stron
er proof than this woman's word?
Mrs. Henry Rackos, 502 Vancouver
Ave., Portland, Ore., says: "It gives
me pleasure to confirm my former ;
public endorsement of Doan's Kidney |
Pills given in October, 1907. At that
time I said that a member of my fam
ily was troubled by attacks of back- 1
ache which prevented stooping or
lifting. Doan's Kidney Pills disposed .
of the trouble in a short time. Since
then I have taken this remedy for j
weakness and pain across my kidneys
and it has greatly benefitted me."
For sale by all dealers. Price 50
cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the Unit
ed States.
Remember the name ? Doan's ? and
take no other.
None better anC purer Chan Gibson
rye, Rainier and Olympia beer. Or
ders by 'phone promptly delivered.
The Mascot
BEER
! here's Vigor and
Strength
in every drop
comphnv
?Mttl* Wash
GRAND REDUCTION SALE
The Pack Train is now selling a
big lot o? Good Goods at reduced
prices as they are getting too old to
hold and sell at a profit. Yours,
tf. Herman Grimm. I
FIRE SALEl FIRE SALEl
WOOD TO BURN
Good Dry Planking ror Summer* use, ]
Special price this month
$2.00 PER RICK.
Se?' ? H ERB TAYLO R? Phone I
COAL
Wellington Lump Coal
from Bhaft No. 6, Oyster Bay Mln.ee
at Ladyamllh, Che olgheet grade
household coal of all the B. C. fields
53.23 FIXED CARBON
Perfect Combustion Uniform Heat
Light Ash
On and after July 1st, 1910, w.
thail offer this ooal, selected an>
graded as follows: ?
Double Screened and sacked $13. ton
Screenings (sacked) g. "
Screenings (bulk) 7. "
Above prices Include delivery
Moore's Wharf Co.
Alaska Transfer Co.
SOLE SELLING AGENTS.
Phona 10. Skagway, Alaska.
GRAND REDUCTION OF STOCK
SALfc
The Pack Train Is now selling .
I big lot of Good Goods at reduce*
[ prices as they are getting too eld
I to hold ana sell at a profit. Yours,
tx. Herman Grimm
Society
Mrs. O. L. Dickeson la entertain
ing at cards at the Pullen House par
lors this afternoon.
? ? ?
M?ssrs Lionel Berrlman and M. A.
Snow were dinner and evening guests
of Mr. and Mrs. N. E. Black on Sun
day.
? ? ?
Lee Gault and wife, Mr. and Mrs.
H. D. Clark, Miss FJorls Clark and
Mr. H. Seeman were dinner guests of
Mr. and Mrs. Roy Gault Wednesday
evening at the Pack Train Restauran
? ? ?
Mrs. M. J. Hillery and Mrs. H. H.
Draper were week-end guests of Mrs.
W. A. Reid, at Fort Wm. H. Seward, j
the ladies' going to the Post Saturday
on the Peterson, and returning on
the same boat Monday.
? ? ?
Mr. and Mrs. Burt Batson enter
tained at dinner Sunday at their hon*(
for Mrs. Daniel Kennedy, of Juneau,
Mr. and Mrs. James Kennedy. Miss
Frances Kennedy and Mr. George
Kennedy.
? ? ?
Mr. and Mrs. George Dedman were
the recipients of a beautiful out glass
berry bowl and silver berry spoon,
on the 27th of the month, the occa
sion being the 28th anniversary of
their wedding which took place in Or
egon City, Oregon, in 1883.
A number of ladies of Skagway were
guests of Mr. G. Douglas Brown, of
Detroit, Mich, in numerous tours
about the City in his Abbott-Detroit
"Bull Dog" touring car. This was
the first opportunity a number of the
fair sex has had of riding in an auto
mobile.
? ? ?
Mr. and Mrs. H. D. Clark enter
tained at dinner at their home in
North Skagway Sunday for Mr. and
Mrs. Roy Gault, and their two child
ren, Katherine and Philip, who left
on the Dolphin for Klamath Falls,
Ore. Outside of the guests of honor,
the following were present; Mr. and
Mrs. Lee Gault, H. Seeman and Ar
thur Boone.
? ? ?
Alfred Chantler and Burnett Ashley
will leave on the Jefferson Monday
night. Mr. Ashley has been in Skag
way spending his vacation with his
parents, and Mr. Chantler has been
visiting with him. The young men
will immediately re-enter school upon
?arrival in the States. Skagway's
younger set will miss these two pap
ular young men, as they have been
very active in all social matters.
? ? ?
Skagway's social season for the
winter was ushered ij, in fitting
style last evening by the Elk's club.
That the social side of the club
will be a feature in Skagway this win
ter was shown by the large number
of those in attendance, and the good
fellowship which was lavishly mani
fested.
DaJicing occupied the greater part
of the evening, and the music which
was furnished by a five piece orches
tra was catchy and good.
At eleven o'clock a delicious lunch
eon of sandwiches, coffee and cake
was served, after which dancing and
sociability was resumed.
? ? ?
Mrs. E. J. Shaw gave a delightful
"500" to her friends Saturday after
noon. The Shaw home was beautiful
ly decorated' with quantities of cut
flowers, and the prizes were unique.
The first prize, a beautiful hand
embroidered damask towel, was won
by Mrs. Carl Ask, while the consola
tion prize, a hand-embroidered purse,
was secured by Mrs. W. W. Bough to
and the cut prize, which was a hand
embroidered silk bag, went to Mrs.
C. D. Grange. After the excitement
incident to cards, a delicious lunch
eon was served.
Those present were:
Mcsdames Hahn, Q. M. MUler, W.
R. Hillery, Gable, Flckardt, Ashley,
W. C. Blanchard, Bold, Weber, Black,
Van de Wall, Grange, Britt, Kirmse,
[Boughton, Weldon, Dlckeaon, C. R.
Ask, Donci ty, LeFevre, Ganty and tha
Misses Hindshaw, Doerrer and Young.
? ? ?
The Table d'Hote dinner at the
Pullen House is better than ever.
Why don't you try It. You are wel
come. tf.
Fresh Oysters on half shell or Skag
way spring chicken at the Pack Train
Restauraut. tf.
A Political Placard.
John B. Thompson of Kentncky, wbo
served in both houses of congress, was
a master of the art of ridicule. Here Is
his characterization of the coutempt In
which party platforms are held after
elections:
"The two or three last platform pres
idents we have had when they got In
the car of state and safely seated all
around everywhere you con Id see, 'Do
not stand on the platform when the
cars are In motion.' McClure's Mag
azine
Others Like Her.
Business Man (explaining) - When
they say "money is easy" they mean
simply that supply Is greater than the
demand. His Wife ? Goodness! 1
Shouldn't think such a thing posslble.
Boston Transcript
DEAFNESS CANNOT BE CURED
by local applications, u they cannot
reach the diseased portico of the ear.
Tfcere la only one way to cure deaf
ness, and that is by constitutional
remedies. Deafness Is caused by an
Inflamed condition of the Eustachian
Tube. When this tube (a inflamed
you have a rumbling sound or Imper
tect hearing, and when ft is entirely
closed, deafness is the result, and um
elae the Inflammation can be taken
out and this tube restored to Its nor
mal condition, hearing will be de
stroyed forever; nine cases out of ten
are caused by Catarrh, which is noth
ing but an inflamed condition of the
mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars
for any ease of -deafness (caused by
Catarrh) that cannot be cured by
Hall's Catarrh Cure. Send for cir
culars, tree.
F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, 0.
Sold by Druggists, 76c
Take Hall's Family Pills for consti
patiom.
4 4 ? I ? I
* NEW=^=COMFORTABLE==e=ELEGANT *
?f*
4- TI /I ?! n.i J *
The Caribou Hotel
[ Immediately Opposite the White Paw Depot
E. W. GIDEON. Proprietor
r
Carcross, Yukon Territory +
?J*
%
*
T
Well Equipped Furnace Heated Throughout Cafe and Bar ^
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?]<
V -- ?:
Headquarters for "Schulz's Adin Royal Mail" Stage Line 4*
?M-'M H-H-H-H 1 'I- t-l-I-H-I-I-I-I-I-H-?
+ + + + + + + + + + + +
4
.j. The Only Firft Class Hotel Opened Under New Manage- "J*
in Carcross ment <i
Headquarter* for Atlla Stage Line.
? w f/>TP r Or<ATTl
HOTEL SCOTT
Scott & SchwitiilSKfiniJ"' ~ - - r 4
* Headquarters for Mining Men and *
* Travelers $
V ji
4r SPECIAL RATES AND ACCOMMODATIONS FOR MUSHERS.
f 4
+ WELL FURNISHED ROOMS TABLE THE BEbT 4
* GOOD STABLES FIRST CI ASS BAR STOCK *
* CARCROSS & 0 YUKON TER. J
FACE ?m
MM
Covered with Eruption to Back of
Ears So They Hardly Knew What
He Looked Like. Used Cuticura
Soap and Ointment. In 4
Weeks Face Fi ne and Clean.
"Our little boy Gilbert was troubled
with eczema when but a few weeks old.
His little face was
covered with sores even
to back of his cars.
The poor little fellow
FufTered very much.
The sores began as
pimples, )<ls little face
was disfigured very
much. We hardly knew
what he looked like.
The face looked like
raw meat. We tied
little bags of cloth over
his hands to prevent
him from scratching.
He was very restless
at night, his little face
itched.
"We consulted two
doctors at Chicago, where we resided at that
time. After trying all the medicine of the
two doctors without any result, we read of the
Cuticura Remedies, and at once bought the
Cuticura Soap and Ointment. Following the
directions carefully and promptly we saw
the result, and after four weeks, the dear
child's face was as fine and clean as any little
baby s face. Every one who saw Gilbert after
using the Cuticura Remedies was surprised.
He has a head of hair which is a pride for any
boy of his age, three years. We can only
recommend the Cuticura Remedies to every
body." (Signed) Mr?. H. Alhrecht, Box 883,
West Point. Neb.. Oct. 2fl. 1910.
Although Cuticura 8oap and Ointment are
sold throughout the world, a liberal sample
of each, with 32-p. book on the skin will be
sent free, on application to Potter Drug C
C'hem. Corp., l>ept. MB, Boston.
Eskimo Beliefs.
Eskimos believe thnt earth and air
are Oiled witb spirits. Tbe one drags
men into tbe earth by tbe feet, from
which they never emerge, the other
strikes men dead, leaving no mark.
They often stop and listen and say
thai Tuna of tbe wind is passing by.
Imagining dial tbe air is full of voices
LHU r-.IS
The Clergyman? Do you mean to
say that your wife goes to cbuixh
every Sunday without you? Hus
band-Weil. it isn't my fault. 1 can't
persuade ber to stay at home. ? Stray
Storkis.
Dally Alaskan ? only $1 & month.
Btfore you stampede, get your
L/intion Notices, Pla'er or Quartz,
rrom the Daily Alaskan. tf
FOR GIFTS
NO TROUBLE TO FIND WHAT
YOU WANT
When you are out on a hunt for
something appropriate as a gift, re
member I have new goods such as
handsome cut glass, silverware, and
beautifully hand painted china, just
in from the maker's, whioh would
make as handsome a present as cau
be made. Such goods are always ap
preciated. I have nothing but the
latest, up to date dn pattern, and in
quality. Nothing but the very best.
Our watch work, newly manufactur
ed and skillful engraving speak for
themselves. We do not turn out our
work unless it is finished in the best
manner and we guarantee every piiice
of it. If you have any trouble with
your watch bring It to us and we will
guarantee you entire satisfaction at
reasonable charges.
Don't neglect your eyes when you
can get them examined free at my
store with the latest optical instru
ments.
J. Ikuta,
Jeweler and Optician.
SMOKERS ATTENTION
W. W. Bougbton has taken the
agency for the justly famous
EL INFINITO CLEAR
? HAVANA CIGARS.
5,000 Just received from the fac
tory at Tampa, Fla. If you want the
best don't fall to give these goods
a trial.
PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS.
Tour druggist will refund money If
PA20 OINTMENT fall* to cure any
CM* of I toiling. Blind, Bleeding or
Pi funding Pi'es In 6 to 14 day*. 50c.
Relieves CATARRH of
the
BLADDER
and all
Discharges in
24HOURS
Each 1? b**ra tke
nunc cy
Barareof (M ! DY)
couMrr/titt. \ y
Sold by all dmcrl?t?.
When in Skagway Stop at the
Pullen House
MRS. H. S. PULLEN, PROPRIETRESS.
The Modern Hostelry of Alaska
40 ROOMS 40
Elegantly Furnished
Single or en Suite
ELECTRIC LIGHTS, BATHS, TELEPHONES
..The Best of Meals..
T O '
TABLE SUPPLIED WITH BEST THE MARKET AFFORDS.
Milk and Cream from our own Jors?y Dairy.
RATE3 CONSISTENT WITH THE BEST SERVICE.
FREE BUS TO AND FROM ALL BOATS AND TRAINS.
SKag'way Alaska
It Pays to Get Printing That
PLEASES
The Work from our Job Department
Pleases Particular People.
Don't send out of town for your work. Let us quote
you prices? show you samples of stock, and do your work
QUICKLY, WELL, AND AT REASONABLE PRICES.
Smly Alaskan.