Humor and
Philosophy
9r TOVftCAJ* ?. SMITH
WORKING IT OUT ALONE.
THE players on the stage of life
Have not the prompter'# aid ?
No friendly whisper from the wlnjrs
From one who knows the trade.
The lines to flt each scene that comes
They have to improvise
And every problem meet that may
From time to time arise.
The actor person has a snap.
The lines are there for hlm.
He needs but mouth them as they come
and through the measure skim
The clothes to wear are handed him.
The hat. the coat, the vest.
The text Informs : m when to work
And ? hen to sit and rest.
And then. oh. Joy and rapture sweet.
To pay for all this talk.
AVh.-n Tin is t>ie acting week
The Kho^t will deign to walk!
Kor sal.tr!? e b onded out
To players In this game.
And tn y ' ^ or.es If the; set
One-half of what they claim.
The actor on the stage of life
Is not provided for
By syndicates and manaKf-ients
With name plates on the door.
He has to hustle for himself,
Ar.d oft for little pay.
And thinks he Is Iti luck to get
His three square meals a day.
Ru e Didn't Work.
"Tie sw s to l>e rm unconventional
sort of fellow."
"He is at home w I rever his hat i-s
off."
"Oh. is he? W> !, 1 saw him chas
ing a new lid down the street with a
jeering crowd letting on results, and
he didn't seem to he mui h at home."
Nothing Doing.
Til bet the chauffeur is mad.**
'?Hi- machine has stopped half a
dozen times in *he last half mile, and
now his gasoline has given out."
"He ought to try running his ma
chine wrh Tenry?on"s "Br>H)k' iustead
of gasoline."
'"Tennvsiin's Brook?"* J
"Yes."
-Why r
"You are too English for me."
Beginning to Discover It.
"Some men show their ace so much
sooner than others that one cannot
always guess by looking at them how
old they are."
"True, but there is one infallible
rule by which to tell when a man is ]
growing old."
! "What is itr
"When he begins to say that he feels
as young as he ever did."
What Otf'er Peason?
"How often do yon write to your
wife when she is away?"
"Every day."
"I>oes she have to have money sent
to her that often?"
Found Him Out.
He didn't want to go to law
To please an Hlle whim.
Hut when he broke into a bank
The law goon came to him.
Warming.
"It was a hot finish."
"What was?"
4*That imported ginger."
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
Tt is hard enough to patch up our
own difficulties without being expect
ed to do it gratis for our friends. The
peacemaker has his own troubles.
It is a heap easier to find fault than
it is to find a way to mend it
The worst feature about making a
sacrifice is that yon never get either
money or credit for it.
The 'shiftless fellow who has only
himself to fall back upon isn't giving
an imitation of being up against it.
He is the real thing.
The fellow who is never really hon
est with himself is She only hopeless
one.
There are plenty of men who keep
out of trouble themselves by the sim
ple expedient of getting others in.
Some people so about the world be
ing good to themselves and then want
the rest of us to loudly admire their i
warm heart edness.
The fellow that takes a licking with
out blinking is a good one to look out
for.
Beiug disagreeable is censurable, but
being a bore is fatal.
When vanity has nothing to feed
upon ambition sympathizes to such
an extent that is is liable to depart
this life.
Best Meals
NEW HOME
RESTAURANT
NOONDAY oCr
DINNER
Lodging
Every thinvrlClean and^
First Class
Fifth Avenue near Broadway
n i iK n
A Woman Finds All Her Energy And
Ambition Slipping Away.
Alaskan women know how the
ai hea and pains that come when the
kidneys fail make life a burden. Back
ache, hip pains, headaches, dizzy
*>i"Ils, distressing urinary troubles, all
U-U of sick kidneys and warn you of
the stealthy approach of dropsy or
Bright's disease. Doan's Kidney Pills
are for the kidneys only. They at
tack kidney diseases by striking at
the cause.
Can Alaskan sufferers desire stron
er proof than this woman's word?
Mrs. Henry Rankos, 502 Vancouver
Ave., Portland, Or-' , says: "It gives
me pleasure to confirm my former
1 :bl:c endorsemtixt of Doan's Kidney
Pills given in October, 1907. At that
time 1 said that a member of my fam
ily was troubled by attacks of back
ache which prevented stooping or
lifting. Doan's Kidney Pills disposed
of the trouble in a short time. Since
then I have taken this remedy for
weakness and pain ac ross my kidneys
and it has greatly benefitted me."
For sale by all dealers. Price 60
cents. Foeter-Milbura Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the Unit
ed States.
Remember the name ? Doan's ? and
take no other.
None better and purer than Gibson
rye, Rainier and Olympia beer. Or
ders by 'phone promptly delivered.
The Mascot. tf'
BEER
I Here's Vigor and
Strength
in every drop
in ill
CGMPRNY
GRAND REDUCTION SALE
The Pack Train is now selling
big lot of Good Goods at reduced I
prices as they are getting too old to ]
hold and sell at a profit. Yours,
tf. Herman Grimm.
FIRE SALE! FIRE SALE1
WOOD TO BURN
Good Dry Planking ror Summer use, |
Special price this month
$2.00 PER RICK.
Se?' ? H ERB TAYLO R? Phone J
COAL
Wellington Lump Coal
Crom dhaft No. 6, Oyster Bay Miner
at Lady snii th, cue nl&heet gradn
nousebold oomJ of all tie B. C. fields
58.28 FIXED CARBON
Perfect Combustion Uniform Heal
Light Ash
On and after July 1st, 1910, w>
thall offer this coal, selected ari>
graded as follows: ?
Double Screened and sacked $13. ton
Screenings (sacked) 8. "
Screenings (bulk) 7. "
Above prices Include delivery
Moore's Wharf Co.
Alaska Transfer Co.
SOLE SELLING AGENTS.
?hon? 10. Skagway, Alaska.
GRAND REDUCTION OF STOCK
SALK
The Pack Train Is now selling :
big lot of Good Goods at reduojd
prices as they are getting too clo
to hold and sen at a proflL Tours,
t i. Herman Grimm
It is Criminal
to Neglect the j
Skin and Hair
THINK of the suffering
entailed by neglected skin
troubles ? mental because
of disfiguration, physical be
cause of pain. Think of the
pleasure of a clear skin, soft,
white hands, and good hair.
These blessings, so essential
to happiness and even suc
cess in life, are often only a
matter of a little thoughtful '
care in the selection of effec
tive remedial agents. Cuti
cura Soap and Cuticura Oint
ment do so much for poor
complexions, red, rough
hands, and dry, thin and
falling hair, and cost so
little, that it is almost crimi
nal not to use them.
Although Cuticura Soap and Oint
ment are solil by druggisty and dealt :
everywhere, a postal to '-Cuticura."
lX'pt B, Boston, will sccurc a liberal
sample of each, with 32-page booklet
on Skin and Scalp Treatment.
LOCAL BRIEFS]
1 A Buy The Daily Alaskan | A
1UC .On The Streets For. . 1UC
SKAGWAY WbVTHER REPORT
Results of the observaUon taken
at Moore's Wharf at midnight,
Sept. 26, 1911, is as follows:
Temp, time observat'n . . . . 60 above
Max. preceding 24 hrs . . . . 62 above
Mia. " " " .. .. 42 above
Mean " " " .. .. 52 above*
Barometer 29:52 Clear S. Wind
There will be about 45 people on
the train tonight from Whitehorse,
having arrived from lower river
points on the steamer Whitehorse.
Marry Olson, representing Schwa
bacher Grocery company, arrived up
from Haines on the Peterson this
.morning, and is about town calling
on the trade.
The Princess Royal, of the C. P. R.
arrived in dock at 6 a. m. today with
280 tons of freight and 11 passengers.
She will sail tonight at 7 'clock with
110 passengers.
Col. Scott, Henry Dickinson and
Charles Baxter, who have been guests
of the Pullen House for the past few
days, will be passengers south on the
Princess Royal tonight.
COLDS CAUSE HEADACHE
LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE, the
world wide Cold and Grip remedy re
moves cause. Call for full name.
Look for signature E. W. GROVE. 25
HE WOULDNT
BE A HERO
By M QUAD
Copyright, i9ii. by Associated Lit
erary Preia
Joe Harper was a sturdy young farm
er, and Ellen Taylor was (be daughter
of another, nnd they were engaged to
be married. All their friends said It
would be a sensible match. Joo was
given the credit of lota of "horse
sense," and no one could say that th*1
young woman was a bit frivolous
That Is, they couldn't until after a cer
tain girl friend of hers from town had
made her a three weeks' visit nnjl left
four or five novels behind her when
she departed.
Those novels were about heroes, car
alle^ chevaliers and knights. They
told of perils, combats and rescues
Mrs. Ttiylor would have chucked them
Into the stove had she found them and
boied her daughter's ears besides, but
she didn't And them. They were rend
at night after the rest of the family
was asleep. By the time she had fin
ished the second oue the girl wns look
ing askance at Joe. He wns sunburn
ed and freckled; his ears were rather
large: Instead of snylng prithee, he said
by gosh. In ail the novels the cheva
liers had plumes In their hats; Joe
didn't even wear a hen's feather In
his old straw He bad a hoe on
bis shoulder Instead of a lance, nnd be
plowed corn with an old fleabltten
mare instend of riding around on an
Arabian* steed.
No, Joe didn't size up for shucks,
compared to the chevaliers.
In the meadow, near the field where
Joe was plowing <-orn, a colony of
bumble bees bad taken up tbelr quar
ters In a tuft of grass. This fact was
known to the Taylor family, and the
farmer Intended to rout them out some
evening. Bumble bees are not cheva
liers. but they are the next thing to It
At 2 o'clock one afternoon, when It
wns seen that Joe and the old mare
were hard at work. Miss Ellen f.ot on
her bonnet and walked ont to that
bumblebee caucus. At Ave feet from
It she halted nnd screamed and danced
around.
The scream reached Joe Harper's !
ears, nnd he let go of the plow handles
nnd made for the fence. In an Instant ;
he realized the situation, but be didn't i
dash forward and fall over several ,
stumps. Instead of so doing he sat on j
the fence nnd called out:
"Ellen, why In thunder don't you run
a way!"
"Oh. the bumble bees!" she shouted.
"Yes. but don't stand there like an
idiot: Make for the house!"
A week had passed and the stingo |
br.d been cured, when Joe got another !
chance. At 2 o'clock one nfternoon |
Miss Ellen sat on the veranda sewing j
nnd wondering how Joe would look in
armor and on horseback, when sho
caught sight of a big dog coming along
the highway on the gallop. Sh??
screamed for Joe again. He dropped
his hoe nnd came running, but paused
as he reached the fence to ask what
was the matter.
"Mnd dog! Mad dog!" she shouted.
"Then climb up that ladder on to the
roof of the kitchen!"
No rushing to the rescue, no beating
the dog's brains out. no remarks worth
leaving to posterity. Miss Ellen was
furious with him. That was the reason
a rung of the ladder broke as she was
descending nnd preclpated her on an
nshheap. Within nn hour the chevnller
of the hoe received word thaNhe need
* NF.W COMFORTABLE^ ELEGANT *
* The Caribou Hotel
+
4? ^ ^
EL W. GIDEON. Proprietor
T
?fr . +
+ Carcross, Ytxhon Territory +
+ __ *
+ ?
Immediately Oppoiite the White Pan Depot "?*
+ *
?(? Well Equipped Furnace Heated Throughout Cafe and Bar ^
+ ?????? 4.
4" Headquarters for 'Schulz's Atlin Royal Mail" Stage Line 4*
^ 4*
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 r I- M"i"M"i-f ?r-H-M-i-t-i-i-i-i-t-i-K-r-i't-T
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
i *
.j. The Only Firtft Class Hotel Opened Under New Manage- 4
^ in Carcross ment ?fr
JU Headquarters for AtHn Stage Line. 4
IHOTEL SCOTTl
4* ===========================
.j. Scott ft Schwanlekamp +
X Headquarters for Mining Men and *
t Travelers 4
V ?
.3. SPECIAL RATES AND ACCOM M DDI ATI0N8 FOR MU9HER8. J
* WELL FURNISHED ROOMS TABLE THE BEbT +
GOOD STABLES FIRST CI ASS BAR STOCK *
t CARGROSS YUKON TER. *
+ + + W + + + + + 4, + + + + + ^
When in SKagway Stop at the
Pullen House
MRS. H. 3. PULLEN, PROPRIETRESS.
The Modern Hostelry of Alaska
40 ROOMS 40
Elegantly Furnished
Single or en Suite
ELECTRIC LIGHTS, BATHS, TELEPHONES
..The Best of Meals..
TABLE 8UPI*LtE0 WfTH BEST THE MARKET AFFORDS.
Milk and Cream from our own J*r??y Dairy.
RATES CONSISTENT WITH THE BEST SERVICE
FREE BU8 TO AND FROM ALL BOATS AND TRAINS.
SKagway Alaska
never show tip at the Taylor bona#
n en I n. The engagement was off.
"Now took st that!" he exclaimed
when he hurt been made to understand
?There was that ladder handy to climb
1 saw the dog coming and knew It be
longed to Perkins. Was there any
need for mo to break my other sus
pender? And If It had been a real
mnd dog would it have helped the ease :
any for t<otii of us to have beer bit- I
ten ?"
Joe stayed away. He had been told
to and he obeyed. At the end of two
weeks he took a day off to go fish
ing. Miss Ellen beard through tier
brother that he was golnj,". and she
made n little plan. She bad got over
being imd at the man who wouldn't
be heroic. In fact, she wanted to '
"make tip." She won!d go a-flshlng j
too. She wouldn't fish for fl.sb. but for
Joe Harper. The lover of other and '
happier davs was fishing from a shndy
bank when she came Into view, but
he was on the other side of the stream,
fie watched ner walk out on a strand
ed log and said to himself
"If she gets a bite and Jerks up her
pole she'll sure go off that log."
Two minutes later the thing hap
pened. There was a nibble, a jerk and
a souse, anil after the souse a yell
for Joe. Lie had been seen. The water
was only about three feet deep, and
as the girl gained her feet after the
souse she was called to:
"Don't get skeart. Mien!"
"Ob. Joe? Joe!"
"Yon can wade ashore easy enough."
"Joe. 1 shall? shall"?
"No. yotx won't"
In the six weeks following the bets
were ten to one that Joe aud Ellen
would never marry, S:it those who
gave the odds lamented It The two
met on the highway, and after pre
tending not to see each other tbey
halted, and the girl Mid:
"Joe. I wanted to marry n hero."
"Well. 1 hain't one."
"1 wanted to marry a hero, bat I
guess I'll have to take up with a great,
big. good natured. slabRlded farmer."
"Looks that way to me. Ellen,"
smiled Joe. and that evening the mnr
rlage day was set.
SMOKERS ATTENTION
W." W. Bougbton has taken the
agency for the justly famous
EL INFINTTO CLEAR
HAVANA CIQARS.
5,000 just received from the fac
tory at Tampa, Fla. If you want the
best don't fail to give these gooda
a trial. .
FOR GIFTS
NO TROUBLE TO FIND WHAT
YOU WANT
When yon are ont on a hunt for
sometfifn* appropriate as a *in. re
member I hare ne* icxvj* a*
handsome mt glass, sllv??rwar<s. and
beautifully hand painted china. jus*
In from the makers. which wonM
make a* handsome a pr??wnt a* ran
be made. Such cool* ar? alwars ap
preciated I nav nothing b?if th<?
latest, up to <1?to in pattern, arH in
?inalify Nothing but th? v?ry b-*t.
Oor watch work. newly manufactur
ed and skillful engraving *p*a t for
tltiuclTN, We do not turn rr.t onr
work unless it is f!rvish??d In th<? beet
manner and wp guarantee ?v?ry pi#<-?
of It. If you hare any trouble with
your watch bnn* It to on and we will
guarantee you ontire satisfaction at
reasonable charge*.
Don't neglect your eyea whpn 701
ran get them PxanrlnM free at my
atore wlfh th? latest optical ios'rri
mentn.
J. fkuta.
j?weler and Optician
E. J. Lefurgey. of Vanconrer. ac
companied by hi* nurse. Mia* Ro ?M.
returned Monday from a trip to Atjln
and Whltehors* and while awnitinsr
th? arrival of the Princoss Royal,
which will take theni back to Van
couver. they have bsen rue^U of th?
Pnllen Honae
Mr. G?orge Black, the Dawson at
torney waa a passenger tip on the
Royal enrout<? to Dawson, where be
goes in tke Interest of U?e Conserva
tive nominee. Dr. Alfred Thompson.
He will remain in 'he district ai?
sluting Dr Thompson until after the
election.
It Pays to Get Printing That
PLEASES
The Work from our Job Department
Pleases Particular People.
Don't send out of town for your work. Lot ns quote
you prices ? show you samples of stock, and do your work
QUICKLY; WELL. AND AT REASONABLE PRICES*.
latlg Abakan.