Humor an? Philosophy
By 9UNCAN M. SMITH
WHAT YOU PAY FOR.
from the fortune telUn* UOy
Tou get your money'* worth.
She. If It run* to dollar*.
Rewards you with the eartl).
But If you cross her digit*
With fifty cent* or les*
Advice 1* all she hands you
And some dark hint* to ru*aa.
For something like a dollar,
A Journey o'er the sea.
With extra fuss and trimming*
If It Is two or three.
But If It Is a flver
She looks Into your hand
And sees a million dollars
Or something quite as grand.
It s Just like b-iylng dresse*
Or rubber dolls or shoe*.
According to the money
Tou pay you win or lose.
If small change (s your quota.
The goods are dull and frayed.
But If your bill* are larger
They're line and tailor mad*.
80 when you want a fortune
Approach a fairy queen
And let her hear the rustl*
Of elongated green.
And ahe will sec a future
Of very rosy hu*
And hand you out a fortune
That's too good to be true.
Something to Match.
"WViv ::i me worm arc you gu-oji
v it.'i thai stepladderV
- n.kinir it h>me as a Christmas pros
i nt iu aij* stepmother."
Tco Cheap.
is yo;:r trouble."
"Word 1 can't s|H'!1."
\V ' . \ t ? >>:t loo!; In the diction
. ?? < . ?>>t 11 thirty cent one
a "!:N \.ov ! is u >in^ in a letter I am
v ; . ^ ? i ?!i:ior.aln.\"
Ur.c'oubtodly.
It is ? "lad old world
Wl.cn yourself 1* clad
An'l n bad old world
When you are hopping mtl
And the world l? good
When you at* tn tha right.
But It's daad, toad w?oaf
When you want to light.
Just Thair Way.
"This book says tha moo was com
manded to stand and deliver."
"Wall, what of It?"
"How to the world could a man da
liver anythlug If he ttood still?"
"Never see a district messenger boy
at work?"
May Ba 80.
A merry laugh
Cuts down a halt
The sense of loss and sorrow,
80 grin awny;
Perhaps the gray
Will turn to shine tomorrow.
Mora Profitable.
"Why don't we have any more im
aginative uovels as we did in the days
of Scott and Dickens?"
"That Is easy enough. Imaginative
persons are busy these days inventing
new names for breakfast foods."
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
It Is a good thing to be able to fac*
the music, but It is rare indeed that
the uiusic is In the least affected by
your bravery.
Food for thought Is said to be quite
a drug on the market tmong the upper
twenty-three.
If a man Is
wealthy, what
healthy and
specific cause
has he for want
ing to be wise?
There la a lot
of talk about a j
woman always
wanting her
own way, but (
whose w a y j
should she want j
If not her own? '
All si^as fall about Christmas time
except the one that foretells a flat
purse and nn empty one about the first
i of the year.
A self made mau is ven. B?r?l? sat
Headquarters for Mining and Commercial Men
iSl//? STRICTLY FIRST-CLASS
Pack train Saloon
SHEA & PATTKN, PROPS.
Bjf) ad way and bi/i Avenue, Skugway, Alaska
MOORE'S WHHRF CO.
Terminus W. P. & Y. Route i
All Sou\h .nd Steamers Arrive and Depart FromThls Drck ,
REGULATIONS 1905 J
Warehouse pen for delivery of merch'vndise from 8 a. m. to 6 p.m.
Perishables ? ?NLY delivered on Sunday or at night.
All fretgM i lipments lestined southbound roust be accompanied by a *
Shipplx's Manifest (papers can be obtained at tho U. 8. cuBtonu J
office) ?ci must be delivered before 5 pm. No freight will be re- ,
ceived on wharf a'? - w. ^ aour. (
BAGGAGE ? x'olia win oo collected on Checked Baggage Oklt. No J
charge for bags and grips when unchecked.
The wharf gate will be clo-'jd to the public when steamer la nearlng ?
dock and will be ope-; donly when passengers have disembarked,
Wharfage Tariff can be aad on application at office on dock.
P. O. Box 175. C. E. WYNN-J0HN80N, GenT Mgr *
Q iMnMMraMMMtnB
HEATED AND LIGH ? ED FINE SAMPLE ROOM
BY ITS OWN PLANT FOR DRUMMERS
(Ubite Pass Fjottl
P. D McMillan, Manager
I Largest and best appointed Hotel in tbe Yukon
Ulbiteborse, VX
CHOICE BAR STOCK
RATES MODERATE
U OOOOOOOC )000( (TOO OOP
?wgxscdh
Sim p I e
Banking
It is very simple to
have a Bank Account
even if you do live in
Alaska.
We have hundreds of customers living in Alaska
who send all of their deposits to us by mail. If
you would like to keep your money in the
Oldest Bank in Washington, write us about it;
Dexter Horton & Co., Bankers,
S E A T T L E
Capital and Surplus* $1,000 000.00
SIP*"-"- ? ?
if :.o<! V. I:h anything lest elegant an j
utHk* i!*an a handmade wife.
The trouble sometimes is that one's
owu special brand of common sens* Is I
so uncommon that it Is regarded as
spurious.
A man usually thinka that the rell
i.on of the family Is his wife's charge '
entirely, but that Is as far as he 1?
willing to let her have an opinion.
It Is easy to see what course the oth
er man should pursue; but, as for your
self. the problem Is much more Intri
cate. for your questions nre so muoh
more delicate than his.
As for being conceited, we all are
that, but some of us nre greater adepts
nt concealment than others.
Holding a Job ought to be synony
mous with earning a living, but it does
not always follow.
Matter of Money.
I am a gentleman of moods.
As any one can see.
8 In co I have money In the bank
I can afford to be.
Sometime* I feel like going out
To take the morning air.
At other times I He around
And warm an easy chair.
The man who works cannot afford
To be a moody chap.
It Isn't up to him to say
If he will work or nap.
The boss will quickly call him down
And make him faco about
If he has an ecccntrlc turn
And wants to work It out.
But. as for one who has the dough.
It's different In his case.
For he In sooth can travel at
Most any kind of pacc.
Or If It suits his whim to atay
And at tho clouds to rave
No person over htm can say.
"My. my. how you behaval"
The moral deeply hidden Is
To have a bank account.
Then you can exercise your whim*
And all dictators tlount.
If you are Willie with the goods.
The owner of the checse,
Tou can, in aplte of any one,
Be moody as you please.
Forced to Learn.
"She understands all of the modern
languages."
"She must have been a great stu
dent."
"No; she has bad a procession of
hired girls from the various countries
of Europe."
Pullcn Rouse
Foot of S xth Avenue
Most, elegantly furnished house
in Alaska
Every modem convenience
Electric lights? Hot and cold
w&'er ? Telephones
Poroelaln baths on every floor
Board and room by the dry, week
or month
Table supplied with cream and
butter from our own Jersey
Dairy
rnrs. R. S. Pullcn
Proprietress
Established 1897
Phil Abrahams
Real Estate
BROKER
Collections
NOTARY PUBLIC
FOURTH AVE., SKAGWAY
We have a large stock
lioainey's Gandy
Peter's ( Chocolates
Also every kind of
Fresh Nuts
Dont' Forget the Number. 428|Brdw'y
Tony Dortero's
Havlnjr completed reliable arrange
ments for so adequate supply of the
beat
British Colombia Coal
for the coming winter we offer for
Skagway Coal Consumer*, Coals at
following prices; ?
Wellington (Departure Bay)
Bun of Mine $12^per ton
Wellington (Liiys-olth)
Selected Lumps $13 per ton
Anthreclte (Banff R. C.)
Chestnut Size 820 per ton
Prices ?bord an on wharf and in bulk
or sacked and for cash. Delivery 91 00
per tun extra.
SHAW & JOHNSON .
ijJPbonwtlw 100 Owgweyr AhdEe
It la now ui> to h-ouie elastic j>r.
motcr. native of tlie U. 8. A., to Civ
out from what breed of cattle t!:>
golden calf comes and organize a Bto<'
company for the axcluslve control and
Baaagament.
Candor sounds hon??t and *U>\ k
boord, but somehow M*m ia
th? l?ost ailied to can^i?d.
Not For Him.
"What a story the mummy conld tell
Jf he could talk!"
"Yes. but he can't."
'?Probably not. Still, yon might try
him with oue or two of tht dead lan
guages."
Can 6urr*wi*4
That.
)"H? doeaa't
seem to be much
of a ancc?s?."
"No, and he 1*
a food all round
man."
^ "All rtind
^ what?"
1 "Well, all
round a beef
steak, for one
thing."
FROM THE NORTHERN LIGHT
Helm Rusfell left school at noon
yesterdny, and weDt south on the
Jefferson.
There is some talk of the girls of the
clogs of 1908 organizing a basket ball
team.
? ?????
The seventh prade had a written ex
amination in history yesterday.
0 0 0 0 0 9
The irraduatlng c!*sj will meet 10
LiKht after school to elect vice-presi
dent, secretary and treasurer.
? ?????
MRETINO OP PRISCILLA CLUB
Monday night the girl- of the Priscil
la club eave an entertaiument at the
home of Mist Fay Stinebaugh, Ths
ovening was spent with games and
e \
NEW 600DS JUST IK
^et us show you how easy It U to do
vclop and print by tho Kodak system
No Fuss ? No Bother
We Fraa* Picture*
DRAPER &G0.
Skagwav, Alaska
14 PHONI 83 P O BOXZ3S JJ I
^ 1
There's Vigor and
Strength
in every drop
C0MPHNY
Seattle, Wuh.
m
Drink it at
The
Pack
Train
Saleen
SHEA * PATTIK
Proprietor*
CONTINENTAL
GISTRIBUTIN6 CO.
DltTHIIUTOM
SEATTLE
inuslo. Delicious lefrebhaients were
served.
Th< s>? rresent wore as fo lows: M s*.
ts Lily Doran, Eihel YVesio, Stella
Jones, Maude danlett, Minnie Wolff, <
Kthel Blaolt, Lo!o De Who, Edna BJook,
Frances Liddlooat, Olire Sprlngste&d,
Edith Liddlooat, Fay Stlnobaugh; Mea
dames Etanglln, Zinkan; Messrs Snow,
Hlllerj, Peree, Gigot, Sbeldon, Bell,
Seymour, Sparks and Mason.
BASKET BALL SCHEDULED FOR TODAY
Morning recess: Class of 1908 agatnet
the Soccers.
Afternoon recess: Smaller boys of
M>*. Draper's room against a team
from Miss Docrrer's room.
??????
BASKET BALL
By Clarence Achlson.
At rece?n ytgerduy ulierooun the |
boyi of the graduating clusa defeated
the t am from the seventh gr..de by a
score of six to two.
After 8cbuo> the graduating class
won from the picked team from Mrs. j
Draper's room by a score ol ten to
ihree. The picked team, forthwith,
proceeded to give the seventh grade
* drubbing by a score of seventeen to
aix.
After the gam? the team from Mrs.
Draper's room held a session, electing
..'atsie Kosbu h captain and giving
jhemseives the very appropriate name
of the "Soccers." C
Some of the other teams will elect
their captain and decide on their name
today. Thero will probably be two
teams from Mr. Telford's room, two
from Mrs. Draptr's room, and at least
one from Miss D>errer's room.
^ ??????
Mr. Gene Smith arrived on the Jef
ferson this morning.
??????
Mrs.. J. Rapuzzi returned home on
the Jefferson.
BETTER PflEMEii TKflH EVER
Hnvios put Id a sipud i; let* anJ
oilier mucuincry ?i e biUcr if
pared thun ever to do first-olasi worlc
on short notice.
5-28-tf S^agw&y laundry
CCMPETENT JUDQE8.
Dcnntr Doctor* Endorse Herplclde.
Women who make a business of beau
tifying other women come pretty near
knowing what will bring about tbo bent
results. Hero are lettors from two, con
cerning Herplclde:
"I can recommend Newbro'n "Herpi
cldo," as It stopped my hair from falling
out; and, as a dressing It has no super
ior.
'?(Signed.) Bertha A. Trulllnger.
"Complexion Specialist,
"2H4 Morrison St., Portland, Ore."
"After using one bottle of "Herplclde"'
my hair has stopped falling out, and my
scalp Is entirely free from dandruff.
"(8lgned.) Grace Dodge.
"Beauty Doctor,
?195 Sixth St., Portland. Ore."
Sold by leading druggists. Send 10e. In
stamps for samole to The Herplclde Co.,
Detroit, Mich.
Two sl*?s ? 50 cent* and $1.00.
Wm. Brlit, Special Agent
Sy ru ptffigs
^Elixir #Senna
acts gentlyj/et prompt
ly ontke bowels, cleanses
the system effectually,
assists one in overcoming
habitual constipation
permanently. To get its
beneficial ejects buy
tke genuine.
Nanufacturedi by the
California
JigSyhtjp Co.
SOLO BY LrADINO DRUCG<STS-50? p.'B0TTU.
Only One "BROMO QUININE," that is
Laxative Bromo Quinine (VlJj on evtrv
Cure# a Cold in One Day, Crip in 2 Days 25c
~6
A. Bloom TELEPHONE 34
E. Kohach FREE DELIVERY
THE M0N0GRAM
?inrBBSnHBBBBHMBB
BJ.OOM & KORACH. Proprietor*
WINES. LIQUORS AND CIGARS
We carry a Full line of Bar Supplies Direct Importer*
Depot (or A. B. C. Bohemian St. Louis and Seattle Bottle Be?r
BEST ACCOMMODATIONS
CENTRALLY LOCATED
New Home Restaurant
IMKS. MARY BERNHOFFER,:ManaK?r
Best 25 Cent Meals in the City
1 FIFTH AVENUE, NEAR BROADWAY
Good Clean Beds From 25 Cents Up
BATHS IN CONNECTION
[electric
LIGHTS
SCt THE
Our Service is Always fhe Best
Our Rates as Low as the Lowest
C4LL ON US fOR PRICfS
V. I. HAHN, Supt.
Railway Building Skaguay