Humor and
Philosophy
?r WMCAJ* Pt. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
^ BOY never can see why a girl is
willing to spend time doing fancy
work when she might be learning all
about prize bulldogs.
The man is yet to he born who can
thoroughly enjoy listening to a Joke
on himself.
Genius will excuse carelessness in J
dress in a man. but nothing but mon- 1
ey will excuse it in a woman.
Pon't expect to make much of n hit '
with a pretty girl by complimenting '
her views on art or her tastes in dress. I
The man who goes around with :i j
chip on his shoulder seldom has time |
to encnge in the arduous task of saw- 1
ing wood.
Optimism is like praying for rain?
most lik. v to be successful when the
signs are right.
The man who has half a dozen young
men In his office can't afford the lux
ury of a pretty stenographer.
Some men inherit millions, some
s<iu?t'7e them out of others, and some
buy automobiles ou credit
The handy man always makes a hit j
with the women who are running an
Ice cream social.
-
A yotm? man may marry on his good
look-, but the aged or middle aged duf
fer uiujt produce the cold cash.
Breaking the Monotony.
Take yoi:r wife and busies.
Pack the family grip.
Once In every season
Make a little trip
With your vision widened
From j our pleasure ride
Home will be the brighter
\\ pn you homeward slide.
Do not make excuses
That will bre^l delay.
If you can't afford it
Do it anyway.
What's a little backset.
What's a little debt.
To the rest and pleasure
That the bunch will set?
Life takes on a dreary
Sort of monotone
When your range is ever
One restricted zone.
See the ways and manners
Of a distant state.
That will reconcile you
Better to your fate.
Take a little journey,
Routiii the mountains walk.
Give you something different
F--r table ta!j<.
i^cv yotfr oustr.ess vanish.
Cars to windward fling.
Strike for a vacation.
It's the only thing.
Cheap Romance.
"There's no romance in real life to
day.-'
"Do you know Brown?'
"That sport? Yes."
"There's real life In him. isn't there ?*'
"Guess there is."
"Well, you should hear him tell
about the salary he gets."
Smart Girl.
"She is learniuK to cook."
"Going to be married, I suppose."
"Wroug again."
"What's the secret?"
"Going after the goo<l money dad
pays the hired girl."
Running th?
Bluff.
"Is the doctor
doing a general
practice still?"
"No, he is an
expert now."
"How did he
get to be an ex
pert?"
"By doubling
his charges."
Enough Fop a Start.
"He is trying to break into the auto
mobile class."
"With an auto?"
"No; just with a pair of goggles and
a quart of gasoline."
Quite Natural.
"I hear he is on the stage."
"Oh, yes: he has a think part."
"What does he think about?"
"Pay day, of course."
Explained. 1
"Every man has his price."
"What does he do with it?"
"From reading the accounts it is to
be concluded that most of them accept
tt."
Keeping It Dark.
"Say, you. why don't you work?"
"I have no license."
"You don't need a license to work."
"Now, don't you tell my wife that."
Hard to Keep Up.
"Charlie is always in a hnrry."
"Of course."
"Why of course?"
"He belongs to snch a rapid set."
Perplexing.
"That mau has a perfect jemus for
getting into trouble."
"Flow does he get out?" I
"Oh, he never gets out."
Best Meals
In The City at the
NEW HOME
RESTAURANT
NOONDAY Q Cr
DINNER
Lodging
EverythinjfiClean and.
First Class
Fifth Avenue near Broadway
W1 ID II l?S
A Woman Finds All Her Energy Aud
Ambition Slipping Away.
Alaskan, women know how the
aches and pains that come when the
kidneys fail make life a burden. Back
ache, hip pains, headaches, dizzy
spells, distressing urinary troubles, all
teU of sick kidneys and warn you of
the stealthy approach of dropsy or
Bright's disease. Doan's Kidney Pills
are for the kidneys only. They at
tack kidney diseases by striking at
the cause.
Can Alaskan sufferers desire stron
er proof than this woman's word?
Mrs. Henry Rankos, 502 Vancouver
Ave., Portland, Ore., says: "It gives
me pleasure to confirm my former
public endorsement of Doan's Kidney
Pills given in October, 1907. At that
time I said that a member of my fam
ily was troubled by attacks of back
ache which prevented stooping or
lifting. Doan's Kidney Pills disposed
of the trouble in a short time. Since
then I have taken this remedy for
weakness and pain across my kidneys
and It has greatly benefitted me."
For sale by all dealers. Price 50
cents. Foster-llllbum Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the Unit
ed States.
Remember the name? Doan's ? and
take no other.
None better anfl purer than Gibson
rye, Rainier and Olympia beer. Or
ders by 'phone promptly delivered.
The Mascot
BEER
(here's Vigor and
Strength
in every drop
HE Bill
COMPANY
feattia, Was*
GRAND REDUCTION SALE
The Pack Train is now selling a
big lot of Good Goods at reduced
prices as they are getting too old to
hold and sell at a profit. Yours,
tf. Herman Grimm.
FIRE SALE! FIRE SALEI
WOOD TO BURN
Good Dry Planking tor Summer use,
Special price this month
. $2.00 PER RICK.
See ? H ERB TAYLO R? Phone
COAL
Wellington Lump Coal
from Bhaft No. 6, Oyster Bay Mine?
it LodyamKh, fee oighest grade
Household coal of all the B. C. fields
S&28 FIXED CARBON
Perfect Combustion Uniform Heat
Light Ash
On and after July 1st, 1910, w<
shall offer this coal, selected ari>
graded as follows: ?
Double Screened and sacked $13. ton
Screenings (sacked) 8. "
Screenings (bulk) 7. "
Abore prices include delivery
Moore's Wharf Co.
Alaska Transfer Co.
SOLE SELLING AGENTS.
Phons 10. Skagway, Alaska.
GRAND REDUCTJON OF STOCK
SALC
The Pack Train Is now selling i
big lot of Good Goods at reduced
prices as they are getting too eld
i to bold ana sell at a profit Yours,
tf, Herman Grimm
HI
LOCAL BRIEFS
1 A- Buy The Daily Alaskan l A
lUC . .On The Streets For. . 1VC
SKAGWAY WEATHER REPORT 1
Results of the observation taken
at Moore's Wharf at midnight, ,
Sept. 25, 1911, Is as follows:
Temp, time obaervat'n ? ? . ? 6? above ?
Ma*, preceding 24 hrs .. .. 65 above
Mln. " " " 40 above
Mean " " " ?? ?? 52abov&|
Barometer 29:60 Cloudy S. Wind
WEATHER TOO TROPICAL;
DUCKS NOT FLYING YET
J. M. Keller w<?nt to Haines on the
Peterson Saturday and took his gun [
with him, intending to combine bus-i
ine?s with pleasure. Upon his return
yesterday he reported business O. K.,
but after a weary hunt on the fla'-s
Sunday morning in company with LL
Harrison Browne, he said that the
duck Is not a tropical bird, and with
the warm weather still hanging on.
the southern flight has not yet be
gun. From the present outlook it
will be a week or ten days before
there will be any ducks in that vic
inity.
The freighter Delhi sailed from Se
attle via Ladysmith Sunday at 12:30
a. m. and, will be in, this port the lat
ter part of the week.
George Black went for a little hunt
over the hills in the vicinity of Skag
way Sunday, and although the wea
ther was not at all pleasant, he
brought back four large rabbits.
George Robbley, formerly of Ta
coma is holding down a position in
the Auditor's office of the W. P. &
Y., having arrived up from the south
011 the 18th of the present month.
Her Hold.
"So he married a manicurist?"
"Yea"
"Is he happy?"
"I'm afraid not He complains that
she has quit holding his hand and
wants to confine herself exclusively to
boldng the pocketbook." ? Chicago
Kecord-Ilerald.
The Measure of Hit Intelligence.
Fido's Mistress (sobblogt-I've lost
my dog-my sweet little Innocent pet!
Friend? I'm so sorry! Have you put
an advertisement In the newspaper'/
Fido's Mistress? Oh, what would be
the use? The poor darling doesn't
know how to read!" ? Woman's fclonie
Companion.
Invited a Snub.
Clara? I overheard Mr. Bimberly say
to a friend the other evening that 1
was a pretty young lady. Maude
Well. you are pretty young: but. of
course, you are growing older each
day.? Chicago News.
At the Lowett Point.
Sometimes bit's > mighty good thing
to be de lowes' spoke In de wheel uv
fortune; you Jes' 'bleedged to come up.
no matter which way de wheel turns.
? Cally Ryland
A man who dares waste an hour of
time has not learned the value of life.?
Darwin.
A GIFT
And What ll Brought
By F. CmITCHEL
Copyright by American Pre?i A??o
ciatlon. ItU.
"Mother." said Edith Mayuard. a girl
of sixteen and Just entering tbe age of
romance. "I wish you would tell me
a love story. Tell me one that really
happened."
"Very well. dear. I know one that
happened right In the family. I'll tell
you about It. One summer day a little
girl- we'll call her Bmma. though that
wasn't her real name? waa about to go
to the store of tbe village In which she
lived to buy a dress. Her birthday
was soon to come round, and her father
bad given ber a five dollar gold piece
to buy the dress for her birthday pres
ent The day was hot. and she took
care to k?ep under tbe shade of the
trees tlial lined the road. Presently
she came ujmn a boy? be looked to be |
about flfu-en -lying asleep in the grass
under one of the trees.
"Emma stopped to look at Mm. ITe
was a handsome lad. sleuder and tall
for his age. with a profusion of black
curly balr tumbled over his forehead
His shirt was oj>en at tbe neck, ex
posing his throat. Ills whole figure
was relaxed as ouly can occur In slum
ber.
"But even In sleep his face was
troubled His clothes had evidently
been good wben new. bnt they were
now shabby. Emma wondered who
he was and what troubled him. There
Is something very winning about a
sleepe?. Perhaps It is that relaxation
I have spoken of? that nonreslstan. e
which Is so endearing in Innocent chll
dren. At any rate, Emma, as she stood
looking down at him, took him right
into lier heart
' She would like to do something for
hlra to take that troubled look off his
face and replace it with a smile. It
occurred to her to drop her gold piece ;
Into his flattened straw hat that lay I
beside him. then stand off and watch j
his expression when he awoke and ;
saw it lying there shining in the sun
light flickering through tbe trees. But
If she did this she must go without
her dress. She lnvc;untartly clutched
the half eagle In a tighter grip. Again
she pictured the boy awakening and
his pleasure at seeing tbe coin in his
hat And thus she wavered till her
sympathy and the pleasure of* giving
pleasure triumphed, and she dropped
her gold piece Into the bat Then she
cllml>ed tbe fence beside the road and
hid In some tall wheat which was
nearly ready to be harvested.
"She waited nearly half an hour, not
daring to ^ake her eyes off the boy
for an Instant, fearing she would miss
that first look of surprise she was giv
ing treasure to see. At last be stretch
ed himself, rubbed his eyes with his
fists and Bat up. He seemed to be try
lng to nerve himself to get up and go
on, but was too tired to do so. Pres
ently. with a sigh, he reached for his
hat and saw the half eagle.
"It Is questionable which would have
been more delightful to a third person,
the look of surprise of the boy or the
expression of the little girl hidden in
the wheat clasping her hands over her
breast as If to still the beating of her
little heart, her eyes beaming with
pleasure and expectancy.
"His eyes were fixed on the coin
for a moment, then he began to look
about him for the donor. Emma enjoy
ed It all immensely far awhile, then
she becan to think about what she
-I-I-I- 1 I'l'nn-fn iithit
?J* ^
+ NF.W ======== COMFORTABLE^-^ ELEGANT *
* The Caribou Hotel J
E. W. GIDEON. Proprietor "
T
?J* *1*
+ Carcross, Yukon Territory
+ t
, Immediately Opposite the White Paw Depot ***
* *
*? *
??? Wefl Equipped Furnace Heated Throughout Cafe and Bar ^
? *
Headquarters for "Schulz's At] in Royal Mail1 Stage Line ^
+ -I
I I I 'M-M' ?I-l-I-I-M' t -l-l -l-M -I -t-l-l 1-1
?j.* + + + + + + + + + + ++ + + v + + + + + + + + *
4* ^
.j. The Only Firit Class Hotel Opened Under New Manage- 4
.j. in Carcross ment +
4. Headquarters for AtUn Stage line.
I HOTEL SCOTTl
4* ' **
Scsott & Schwaniekamp *fr
? Headquarters for Mining Men and +
t Travelers +
* +
4. SPECIAL RATE8 AND ACCOM MODI ATI0N8 ?0R MU8HER8. ^
* WELL FURNISHED ROOMS TABLE THE BEST *
* GOOD STABLES FIRST CI ASS BAR STOCK *
* CARCROSS & YUKON TER. *
,J';+,l, + + ,fe + + + 4"f + *H* 4*4, + *i,4,4,4,4, + + + 4
When in SKa^way Stop at the
Pullen House
MRS. H. S. PULLEN, PROPRIETRESS.
The Modern Hostelry of Alaska
40 ROOMS 40
Elegantly Furnished
Single or en Suite
ELECTRIC LIGHTS, BATHS, TELEPHONES
..The Best of Meals..
TABLE SUPPLIED WITH BEST THE MARKET AFFORDS.
Milk and Crmm from our own J art mi Dairy.
1 1 RATE3 CONSISTENT WITH THE BE8T SERVICE
FREE BUS TO AND FROM ALL BOATS AND TRAINS.
Skagway Alaska
s6ould do. W<>uld sbe make benteif
known or remain in biding and let tbe
lioy go away with ber treasure without
knowing who bnd fiisi It to bUn? If |
she took the former coarse be would
return the gold piece. If she took the
latter she would have given awaj i
her birthday present to one who coold
not even know her as the girer of
it
"Bat Emmn was Dot a clri to go
this far in doing a kindness and torn
back. She kept very still, watching
tbe boy. and It seemed as If she could
read his thoughts She fancied bin
saying, holding tbe coin in bis band
and looking at It. i'm going to invest
this money and work and ?te and
make a fortune out of It.' Then, stand- !
Ing on bis feet after looking all about
iiim. be pui tbe cols in hi* pocket and
reluctantly went on.
"A great many years passed."
"How many years, mother?"
"Let me see. Etnma had grown to
be twenty-Are years old. and she wss
about twelve when she gnve away ber
birthday present That means thir
teen years.
"One day she beard tbat n man bad
offered to bill Id a social clubhouse and
give It to tbe town. Tbe reason be
offered It was tbat when a poor boy
on bis way to the city to look for a
situation he bad gone to sleep on the
outskirts of tbe vlllnge and some one
bad dropped a Ave dollar gold piece
Into his hai. Fie bad m.ide locky in
vestments with the money, and it bad
grown from $5 to $20,000. Bat more
than this, it had given h'm hope and
coo rape, and be bad succeeded in oth
er directions. Fie wished to return
the gift with Interest, and. not know
iag the donor, wonld give it to the
town.
"Well. Kmma met rhls man and be
came very much Interested In him and
be Id ber. One d:?y when they were
together"
"1 know the end of the story." In
terrupted Edith. "He was the boy to
w bom Emma had given tbe half ;
eagle"
?That Isn't all there la to It" replied
the mother.
"What else Is there?"
"He was father and I ira Emma."
SMOKERS ATTENTION
W. W. Boughton has taken the
agency for tbe justly famous
HL INFINITO CLEAR
HAVANA CIGARS.
5,000 Just received from the fac
tory at Tampa, Fla. If yon want the
beat don t fail to give these goods
a trial.
FOR GIFTS
NO TROUBLE TO PINO WHAT
YOU WANT
VTben you are oat oa a bant for
4o?*th<Bjr appropriate as a ctf' r?
wnbor I have new gno d* sach
hamlaome cut Klaan. ail* pr ware, and
beantifully hand pain'M <-hvna. Jwrt
h> from the mak-r"*, wh Wi wonkl
make as handsome a present m 'an
be made. Swh Kood* are always ap
preciated j Hav nothing b?n tb"
lateat, op to date in pattern, and in
quality Mothing bwt the T?ry bent
Onr wnlcfi work, newly mannfactur
M an# sWHftil engraving *p?ak finr
thomaeW^s. We do not Cnra ont on
work onfca* it ia ffniahed in the hent
manner and we giitrantee every pie*"
of It If yo* ha*e any tronhl* wtth
your watrh brine it to t? and we will
guaranty* yon entir* satisfaction a'
reasonable charge*
Don't ne*leo< jmr ?ye? when y?<i
can get them examined fr?e at mr
store with the latent optical jnrfri
mente.
J. rteita.
Jeweler and Optician
WiVcMiNG WITHOUT WA TER
r Ufce Trrhf ?? Ge? HM ?f
irilkml BerfWif.
DM yoo erer *ee any nn? trying to
wash themselves without soap or
??.ater?
If yot? W what ?viM ynn say of
Mwi?
If hi ev?ry b(t aa fooHeb to try to
?M of Duidrnff inl fo pn?-r?n? Rs Iti
nera by f^dln* the whlrh ^'wm
it. with C*nthrar14ei Vss?ilr? 'Vy^r
>ne and similar sob?*anres wtiteh fomi
the prf-clpaT Inn*d1?nta of mt<*? #>
ralleJ Hair Vljpor*
Nesrfero s ?T?rpl?-t<te is swesetm b?
se * attack* -od frflte the p- eHt'
*#m? which f??ds on fh? Ml* r?"l
It It lb* nr atns 1 and mIt a" mm
s^slp ;r?rml<*l't* mannfactnr??l
SnM b? landing dmgjtivt# lae 'n
rtjttnps foe ?*<*?!? te Tb? C? .
r?iroft Wh
One dollar bottlaa raarant^d
Wb. 3rTtt, Special \gent. Skagway
Location notices, placer and mttf-x
for sale by tie Dal<y Ala*k?n tf.
COLDS CAUSE HEADACHE
LAXATIVE BRuMO QUININE. (he
world wide Cold and Grip r-medy re
moves eaaae. Call for full nam*
I^o? far ?iynatgr? E. w. fWQV?, V.
It Pays to Get Printing That
PLEASES
The Work from our Job Department
Pleases Particular People.
Don't send out of town for your work. Iv?t as quote
you prices -show you samples of stock, and do yonr work
QUICKLY, WELL, AND AT REASONABLE PRICE*.
Batly Alaskan.
? imiiapsaiia aimuiiii