BOWSER TRIES AGAIN
Goes In Search of Paradise For
a Two Weeks' Vacation.
PUCE NOT AS ADVERTISED.
?aatitHui Lake Tumi Out to Be a
?wimp, and Thar* Ara Other Da
Hatawciaa Old Fellow la Fined $15
Far Contempt of Court.
[Copyright. 190?. by Homer Sprague.]
"Can you pack what things you will
Dead for a two weeks' vacation by 8
o'clock tomorrow morning?" asked Mr.
Bowser as he arrived home from the
ofBce the other evening.
"Why, 1 thought you had given up
looking for a place," replied Mrs. Bow
Mr.
**I had, but I happened to run across
this ad. In the paper today, and I like
the wording of It so well that I'm go
log to take chaneee. Read it and as
soon aa dinner Is orer set about pack
ing your trunk."
Mrs. Bowser took the paper and read:
"A farmhouse situated on the shores
o t Lake Paul, twenty miles from the
city, will take a few select Inwrders
for the laat two or three weeks In Au
gust Table unexcelled. No childreu
or dogs. No Chinese taken. Boating,
bathing and fishing. Family prayers
night and morning. A quiet, restful
place from the turmoil of the world."
"It seems to be the place we have
been looking for," she said, "and yet"?
"It surety Is the place," he finished.
"The man who holds family prayers in
his house night and morning can't be
a liar or a swiudler. Kight on the
shorvs of a lake, and we can swlug In
our hammock under the trees find hear
the water lap aud gurgle. No durned
?quint eyed Chinese around, no chil
dren whooping sml yelling, no dogs t?
be war* of. We'll take our bathing
?ults and Just revel in the blue waters,
and when we are not reveling we'll be
hanling In the five pound bass. Coma
along to dinner."
Hadn't a Thing Ready.
"I couldn't g?,t ready by moruing," |
?old Mrs. Bowser as they sat dowu to
the table. "As we had given up going
?oywbere this summer 1 haven't a
thing ready. Anyhow I think it a bet
tar plan for y<>u to take a run out
there first and engage the rooms. 1/
It's only twenty miles you con go out
and back In n day. The plicc Is prob
ably all tliL'.v ditlm for It. but I'd f<?e!
better If you saw It tirst."
"I can bo out. of course, but lt'B a
needless trip. I think from the reading
of the ad. that tbe owner la a church
deacon. He might beat some om In a
horse trade, but he wouldn't deliber
ately lie to get a few boarders. You
notice that he ssys 'select.' He wants
none of tbe" riffraff Around him. That's
what I want for the next few days, a
place wher? I can alt down and think
some thoughts. Yes. I'll take a day of
and go out there, and you can be pack
ing while I'm gote."
"But you'll be prepared for a disap
pointment at the same time?" she sug
gested.
"I don't see why I should. That's
what we want, stralghter than a string.
If he'd left out the 'family prayers
night and morning' I might have been
' A VKKY SOLKUX LOOKING MAX CAM*
l>OWN TUX I'ATH TO UXET HI*.
a bit Busplclous, but as' It la I'd" be
willing to telephone b!m tonight to
, have us a room. The man who la beat
i lng his guests don't begin aud end the
| day with prayers. By John, Mrs. Bow
j ser, but luck Is wltli us! We'll gain ten
, pounds apiece In the two iveelra."
During the evening Mr. Bowser
could not keep tbe subject oat of hti
talk for over ten minutes at a time,
and when he at la?t went to bed and
; fell asleep Mrs. Bowser heard him
| muttering about prayers and lakea
and bass and shady places. He was
off as soon as be had finished hla
breakfast, and It was not yet 10
o'clock In the forenoon when he was
dropi>ed at a lltfle couutry statlou.
There was no one around the place.
but n sign directed hljn, and after
plodding along the highway for three
quarters of a mile ho came to a farm
house with a Blga on the gate to the
effect that boarders were taken. A
very solemn looking man came down
the path to meet him, and when they
had ahaken hand* Mr. Bowaer Queried:
i "I believe you advertise to take a
few "?elect summer boarder* for the
' next two or thre? weeks?"
"You are correct." was the answer.
"Where are you going to put them?"
"In the house, sir."
I It was a lonesome looking old house.
Panes of glass had been broken out,
the roof needed repairs, and only one
forlorn apple tree stood within a hun
dred feet of the door for shade. Down
behind It was a great marsh, with
gram six feet high. Mr. Bowser was
letting his eyes roam over this marsh
when the man said:
"That Is Lake Paul, sir. In the
spring the grass Is entirely covered
' with water, and then there la beautiful
boating and fishing."
"But this Is not spring."
"No, sir."
"Then there is no Lake Paul, no boat
ing, no fishing, no bathing?"
"Not to speak of, no, sir, but we hope
that our guests will be willing to dis
pense with those frivolities."
8moking Under Tree.
There were two men and one woman
sitting under the apple tree. The men
were smoking clay pipes and the wo
man gnawing away at a windfall.
"Are those some of your select board
ers?" asked Mr. Bowser after looking
them over.
"They are, sir, and they say they
never enjoyed themselves better. They
drank a gallon of buttermilk between
them this morning. I forgot to put
that In the advertisement? that but
termilk was free to guests. Excuse
me, sir, but you're makiug so many
Inquiries it leads me to ask If you are
a very particular person? If you are
not, perhaps your wife Is."
"We are not liars and swindlers!"
replied Mr. Bowser, who bad begun to
get mad as soon as seeing the house.
"By which you would convey the
Impression"?
"That the owner of a shacklety old
rauch like this who advertises us you
do ought to get three months lu Jail at
the very least! Ifn a swindle, sir!
Ifs au outrage!"
"Sir," replied the other as he drew {
himself up with much dignity, "I took j
1 notice of you while you were yet half
1 a mile awuy. I did not like your gait.
1 I did not like your shape. As you
tamo still nearer I saw your face to
mlstmst It. You will excuse mo, Blf,
when I say that I -could not take you
In here as a select hoarder. Indeed, I
could not take you In at all."
"And you hold family prayers night
and morning," shouted Mc. Bowser In
his wrath.
Stopped by * Constable.
The solemu looking man whistled
for his big dog. and the three boarders
rose up und came over. Mr. Bowser
was told to go. He looked at the
crowd aud fit the dog and went. On
his way bacs to the depot he was boil
ing over with Indignation and uncon
sciously lengthened his stride. He had
not yet reached the building when a
constable stepped out from a fence
corner with a watch In hla band and
said:
"1 muke It thirty-five miles an hour,
and you will come with me!''
"What lu thunder Is this all about?"
demanded Mr. Bow ser.
"Running j our auto beyond the legal
speed limit.'
"But I hmo 110 nuto."
"Same tlJug. You were humping
along at thirty-five miles an hour, mad
as a wet hon, and any collision with
you would have been dangerous to life
aud limb. ?'ome aioug.""
Mr. Bowser had to walk a mile with
him to tlio house of a justice of the
peace. Th? Justice was not prepared
to agree with the constable that a
baldbeaded man with duck legs was
the same thing us an auto, and the
victim might have escaped a fine had
he kept quiet. He couldn't do that,
but turned to and called the constable
a fool aud his honor an ass aud was
fined ?lo for contempt of court and
given one hour to get out of the coun
ty. ? M. QUAD.
The Crossbow.
The popa in 1180 prohibited tho cross
bow as barbarous and threatened
crossbowmeii with excommunication.
Tho Old Miracle Play.
In the old miracle plays the "Adora
tion of the Three Kings" was always
represented by uicmlters of the Jew
elers' guild, each act or scene of the
plays being given by a separate cor
poration, which defrayed all the ex
penses.
Uncle Sam's Domains.
The sun never sets on the soil of
the United States of America. When
It is C o'clock at Attoo island, Alaska,
It is 9:30 o'clock a. m. the next day on
the eastern coast of Maine.
The Onion Knife.
After ualug a knife to pare onions
drop It In cold water and leave until
the dishes are washed, then wash with
hot soapsuds, and no odor will be no
ticed. This rule holds good for uten
s lis la which fish have been cooked.
Scouring soaps will not remove dis
agreeable odors from knives and dish
M,' but this simple method never falls.
A House of Hats.
An Ingenious hatter of Paris once
constructed a house of felt made out
of 24,000 old hats'. This house con
sisted of parlor, dining room and bed
room; also a kitchen.
Hard to Shave.
The hardest beards, or faces, to
uhave are those of the stonecutters.
The fine particles of granite or marble
become Ingrained Into the skin, and
"once over" such a face means half an
hour on the hone for the best razor.
Coal heavers come next, but coal dust
Is not so deadly to an edge us granite
powder.
Boo.
Boo, the exclamation used to fright
en children, is a corruption of Bob, the
name of a famous Gothic general. It
has been used as a terror word for
many centurlcs.
Austria's Fisheries.
Austria's tlshing Industry suffers
Xrom the haudlcap that the fishermen
are nearly all in tho clutches of usu
rers* They are compelled to borrow
money when the catch Is poor, and
they are never able to get out of debt
again.
Connecticut's Lakes.
There are 250 lakes or ponds in Con
necticut that have five acres or more
of water.
Independence Days.
Independence day lu Brazil Is Sept.
7, that of Mexico Is Sept 1G, that of
Uruguay Is May 25. that of Chile Is
Sept. 18, that of Colombia Is July 10,
that of Haiti Is Jun. 1, and that of
Cuba Is Feb. 24.
TO CUKE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine
Tablets, Druggists refund the money If
It falls to cure. E. W. GROVE'S sig
nature is on each box. 25c. M
The Fifth Avenue hotel has unlimited
accomodations. Steam heM and every
thing modern.
$300 IN PRIZES
TOE GIVEN mi CHRISTMAS
A gem, very fine blue, cut from rough
stone called Fine Blue Jagersfonteln
extraordinarily brilliant, weighing i
karat, aod in its beauty resembles a
drop of sparkling water.
3 Ladles' 14k Gold Watches, 25-year
Boss 15 Jewels, Waltham cr Elgin
Movement.
3 Gentlemen's 14k Gold Watches, 25
year Boss 15 Jewels, Waltham or
Elgin Movement.
6 Gentlemen's Sterling Silver Tollec
Sets.
1 Lady's Nuggett Bracelet.
1 Lady's Nugget Brooch.
1 Pendant Baroque Pearl P ansy Rea
With each $1.00 purchase between
now and Christmas, will be given a
ticket on the above goods.
Make Christmas selections now, we
will put them aside In our vaults for
you. All our lines are full and com
plete and it is to your advantage to
select from complete assortments. Let
us help you this year the same as we
have always helped you before. Good
judgment and careful consideration
was never expended to better advan
tage than io the selection of this year's
stock.
P. E. KERN.
Gold and Silversmith.
AT THE SEATTLE
The Jefferson arrived today with a
fresh shipment of draught Raider and
Malt Rainier, a Special Tonic for the
Sick Conavalescent and nursing
Mothers. Guaranteed under the Pure
Food and Drugs act. Yours truly, as
ever. Poor little
24G- Herman.
SKA6WAY CHICKENS FOR SALE
Chickens for sale. Home grown
fryers and roaster dressed to order.
250 Mrs. P. W. Snyder.
MOORES WHHRF CO.
Terminus W. P. <St Y. Route
All Sooth Bound Steamers Arrive and Depart FromThla Dcek
REGULATIONS 1906
Warehouse* open for delivery of merchandise from 8 a. m. to 5 p.m.
Perishables ONLY" delivered on Sunday or at night.
Ail frtigbt shipments destined southbound must be accompanied by a
Shipper's Manifest (papers can be obtained at the U. 8. customs
offioe) and must be delivered before 5 p.m. No freight will be re
ceived on wharf after this hour.
BAGGAGE ? Tolls will be oollected on Checked Baggage Only. No
charge for bags and grips when unchecked.
The wharf gate will be closed to the public when steamer Is nearlng
dock ana will be opened only whsn passengers have disembarked.
Wharfage Tariff can be had on application at office on dock,
P. O. Box 175. C. E. WYNN-J0HN80N, Genl Mgr
m? ? imiii um nn? ? in? ? ? ?? ? ? ?? ? ?
HB ATED AND LIGHTED FINE SAMPLE SOOfl
BY ITS OWN PLANT FOR DRUMMERS
Ulbitt Pass m\
P. D McMillan, Manager
Cargo! and best appointed Hotel In tbt Yukon
CHOICE BAR STOCK JIlkiMkAMA U T
RATES MODERATE ttlDIKDOlSt, Is C#
?SXBXsX?XS?C2XS?SXiXZXZX&c?XSXiX5(S?(SX}XS)CXX9j
It is very simple to
have a Bank Account
even if you do live in
Alaska.
We have hundreds of customers living in Alaska
who send all of their deposits to us by mail. If
you would like to keep your money in the
Oldest Bank in Washington, write us about it.
Dexter Horton & Co,, Bankers,
SEATTLE
Capital and Surplus, $1,000,000.00
Sim pi
Banking
qacRcraaacficeecp^^
ROYAL
Steam jLaofidry
All Work Guaranteed. Short
Orders Promptly
Done
MessengerJwiU call and deliver
Phona 79
Raw Furs....
WE PAY
nigh Prices lor fine furs
Write- For Price List
Perot's Fur House
Oshkoah. Wisconsin
Established 1897
Phil Abrahams
II w_ U J .1
Real Estate
BROKER
Collections
NOTARY PUBLIC
52 FOURTH AVE., SKAGWAY
We have a large stock
howney's Candy
Peter's Ghoeolates!
Also every kind of
Fresh Nuts
Dont' Forget the Number. 428.Brdw'y
Tony Dortero's
Having: completed reliable arrange
ments for an adequate supply of the
be&t
tfritlsh Columbia Goal
for the coming winter we offer for
Skagway Coal Consumers, Coals at
following prices;?
Wellington (Depsrtnre Bay)
Run of Mine fl2 per ton
Wellington (Lidysmith)
Selected Lumps $13 per ton
? Anthracite (Banff B. C.)
Chestnut 8ize $20 per ton
| Prices abovd arc on wharf and in bulk
or sacked and for cash. Delivery $1.00
per ton extra.
SHAW & JOHNSON
Phones 11 or 100 Skagway, Alaska
e
SPEGIfllt SALE OF
ALASKA VIEWS
Retrlnnlntr Monday, November
25th. und ending January 1st,
190s, wewlll sell 8x10 views at
25c each and 5x7 at 15c. $1.50 per
dozen. 14x17 Views $1.00 each.
Velox Post Cards live for 25c,
This beautiful set of pictures
consist of Towns, Water Kalis.
Glaciers, W. P. St Y. R. Views,
Steamers, and Old 1896 Trail
and Plonoor Scenes of early
days. It will do you (rood to
look them ovor.
We solicit your patronage
DRAPER &C0.
Skagwav, Alaska
phone 83 p. o box 235
BEER
There's Vigor and
Strength
in every drop
COMPANY
8eattle, Wuh.
"i 1
Okl>
Vai iey
Whiskey
i -'/-ItiGo v
Drink it at
The
Pack
Train
Satan
SHEA 4 PATTEN
Proprietors
CONTINENTAL
0ISTR1SUTIH6 CO.
Distributors
8EATTLE
Only One "BROMO QUININE," that Is m
Laxative Bromo O?11?? IK ?n
SfeidlnSn? oStaDw?
A. Bloom TELEPHONE 34
E-Koracu FREE DELIVERY
THE M0N0GRAM
BLOOM & KORACET. Proprietors
WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS
We carry a Full lino of Bar Supplies Direct Importers
Depot for A. B. C. Bohemian St. Louis and Seattle Bottle Beer
CENTRALLY LOCATED BEST ACCOMMODATIONS
New Home Restaurant
MRS. MARY BERNHOFFER,IManaK?r
Best 25 Cent Meals in the City
{FIFTH AVENUE, NEAR BROADWAY
GoocLClean Beds From 25 Cents Up
BATHS IN CONNECTION!
'electric*
LIGHTS
Our Service is Always Ihe Best
Our Rates as Low as the Lowest
CALL ON US FOR PRICES
V. I. HAHN> Supt
Skaguay
Railway Building