Sidewalk Santas Turned
Out Assembly Line Style
By CHARLES MAHER
HANG on Virginia, this
thing is even bigger
than we thought.
All that jazz about the
pudgy little joy-monger in
the red underwear is the
straight scam, all right. But
there’s more than one. We’ve
found a place in Los Angeles
where they turn them out
faster than you could harness
a reindeer.
The Volunteers of America
have this good-cheer program
They send out Santa Clauses
to stand by red and white
chimneys on the street and ring
bells, tacitly inviting the pass
ing public to drop a little some
thing in the chimneys for the
poor children. Which is a nice
cause, even if you’ve got your
doubts about Claus.
Now, you can’t just hand a
man a hank of faked whiskers,
a baggy red suit and a phony
paunch and expect him to go
out and get the job done right.
He needs training, just like a
croupier.
SO the Volunteers of America
in about 75 cities run these
schools. They round up the
candidates—a lot of them pen
sioners who are happy to do
the job for not much pay—and
teach them in three days the
tricks of the sidewalk St. Nicks.
They digest all the do’s and
don’ts. Such as:
Attract attention, but don’t
make a spectacle of yourself.
Be courteous, helpful, friend
ly, cheerful and reverent.
Ring your bell, but not like
you were trying to warn the
town the British are coming.
Keep close to your chimney,
but don’t block it from the
view of the good people.
Keep your breath clean; a
Santa who smells like an onion
is a lemon.
Be patient with the wee ones.
But, on the other hand:
Don’t lean on your chimney.
Don’t get in any beefs, even
if a known arsonist threatens
to set fire to your beard.
_•
MAILING TIP
Put one or two drops of clear;
fingernail polish on the knots i
of the cord tying your Christ- j
mas packages that go in the
mail. When dry, this holds knots!
like glue and insures safer mail
ing.
h*”1* 1 IIIWIMII—1.1 I ■■■ II M ■ INI*
May your Holiday
be bright
JERRY’S
Wrecker Service
Ph. 486—2464
EENIE, MEENIE ... a host of Santas confronted Dale Noonan.
5, of La Canada, Calif., when he walked into a school for
Saint Nick's in Los Angeles.
Christmas Blessings
and a
Happy New Year
“In this was manifested the love of God toward i»s, because
that God sent His . . . Son into the world, that we might live
through Him."
I John 4:9
W. C. T. U.
from all of us to
each of you... for a
Holiday Season filledMh
Christmas Joy and Cheer!
Wodfinger Drugs
*
Destination ’61
All hands extend to you and yours their
warm wishes for a very merry Christmas
and a New Year full of life’s best blessings.
I ALASKA
STEAMSHIP
COMPANY
Since 1895
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■ *