“A SMILE*
From the Land of the
MIDNIGHT SUN
Nome, Alaska.
First Nomeite: "Say, Bill, if you
had five bucks in your pockets,
■wbat would you doV'
Second Dit*o: "I'd think 1 had
on somefoody else’s pants.”
The President is described as a
giant fTom his waist up. Which
under the circumstances is better
than merely being a giant from
the neck down
It looks as if a good many vet
erans will soon think the New Deal
is a misdeal.
The advent of 3.2 -per cent beer
may be pleasing to many, but it
will hardly satisfy those who have
acquired the taste for 5 per cent
home brew at less coat.
Giving unusual powers to tbe
President by Congress may be1 just
tiled on tbe theory that one man
is liberty to make fewer mistakes
than 631.
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Hitler’s rise to a dictatorship
again illustrates, bow safe the
world has been made for demo
cracy..
A Danish critic declares that
_are only fit for the enter
tainment of nit-wits. Either the
movies or the critics are rotten in
Denmark.
My son, 1 hear you have been
most recalcitrant.
Be yourself, Pop, you’ve been do
ing crossword puzzles again.
The fellow who continually butts
into other people’s affaire should
n’t complain if he >* finally made
tbe goat.
This is the story of a prudent
man, as told by a Kansas news
paper:
He brushed his teeth twice a
day, wore rubbers in wet weather,
did his daily dozen, slept tfith win
dows open, was careful of his diet,
had a medical examination twice a
year, never smoked, drank or In
dulged in excesses of any kind. He
was all set to live to be. 100 years
old.
: The funeral was held last Wed
jnesday. He is survived by 18 sp
iecialists, four health institutes,
!six gymnasiums and numerous man
jul’acturers of health foods and
antiseptics.
He had forgotten to look out
for a train at a grade crossing.
Many a wife has wondered, after
listening to her husband expound
| so knowingly on banking and ec
jonomics, how anyone could know
, so much about money and not
i have any of it.
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Old Lady: Are you content to
I spend your life walking around the
country begging?
I Dusty Rhodes: Ntf, lady, many’s
!the time I’ve wished I had a ear.
_
To wrestle with present cond
itions is a sort of "cash-as cash
can affair.
If the rank and file of those
Japanese an Chinese armies ever
find out wliat all the shooting is
about it will be real news to them.
I
Anyway, the bank holidays did
not make much difference to those
Uf us who are accustomed to doing j
without money.
—.
Democracy is a form of gevern
jment in which those who boiler
the loudest get what they want.
i The idea that women are hard to
; please is refuted by a look at some
jof the husbands they pick.
INTRRRST1NQ NOTH
American airplanes were re
cently sold to Switzerland’s lead
ing air transport company.
Miss Francis Perkins, secretary
of labor in President Roosevelt’s
cabinet, is really Mrs. Paul Wi’son
and Is the mother of one daugther.
Three members of President
Roosevelt's cabinet are former re
publicans—Secretary of the treas
ury Woodin; secretary of the In
terior Ickes, and secretary of ag
riculture Wallace.
Three-fourths of the world’s lic
ensed motor vehicles are operated
in the United States.
Census figures reveal that there
are in the United States nearly
2,000 persons who are both blind
and deaf.
Of the 404,000 American citi
zens who live permanently outside
of the United States 223,000 reside
in Canada.
Jericho, around which Joshua’s
army marched, was destroyed by
fire, is the finding of arcbaeulog
1sts.
Hi f^H
JR
f
WASHINGTON CURRENT
rOMMFNT
( uefully avoid'.*', partisan praise
o" partisan cond3nina.t.s a, the
PitMOenit’i Sunday evening' t» as
nia> he said to be having a good
•effect in that they tend to allay
doubt, suspicion and tear. The
spoken word is fleeting and likely
to be forgotten as to detail, yet
there is something reassuring in
hearing the voice of the Executive
Tight in one’s own parlor. Mess
ages to Congress are alright, but
what ia needed Is a message to the
individual. Without discussing the
merits of what Mr. Roosevelt has
done, or proposes to do, he has
paid an appreciated compliment to
the common man by cutting out
intermediaries and* talking things
over with him directly.
The President of the Congress
of the American Physicians and
Surgeons, in session, in Washing
ton, is quoted as protesting against
the scientific doo-dads of modern
medicine? and as speaking a word
in favor of long-named machinery
to identify long-named disorders
which really are no more than com
mon diseases capable of being
leached by common remedies. The
general practitioner no longer
sports whiskers and a plug hat,
n.or does he ride about in a horse
drawn gig, but he remains the
backbone of the (profession. All
of which, coming from so eminent
a source, is what millions have
long believed, but scarcely dared to
affirm. The plain, helpful, effic
ient country doctor, more intent
upon healing than display, may
yet come again Into hi9 kingdom.
VeTy likely the Navy was inward
ly disturbed when it found that its
share In reducing government ex
penditures was fifty million dol
lars, but those in authority took
the smack with good grace, and
proceeded in the exercise of good
sense About thirty percent of
the vessels now in service will be
laid up, but they will be docked
one after another, and while out
of use will be put in first class
order. The Navy people certainly
should be given credit for making
the best of a bad situation.
The capitol was a city of protests
and (parades recently. Another
bonus array, divided, It is said, in
to conservative and communistic
groups, is making its wishes
known. A negro demonstration,
for equal rights is staged. The
Continental Congress openly in-fav
|or of taking what it wants from
the other fellow, holds lively ses
sions. Hardly a day passes in
which committees fail to appear
before Congress to protest against
or to speak in favor of some
thing. Nothing derogatory is in
tered in alluding to all sorts of
objectors and Claimants in one para
graph. It is merely noted that
everyone is exercising the ancient
right of petition and remonstrance
to which if accompanied by no
'breach of the peace, no serious op
position can be raised. In any
event, open complaint is better
than secret plotting.
Congress must be out of work.
A month has passed and there has
been mo‘ move to investigate the
price of beer.
Tb>e news brings to the front the
crime designated in old times by
the expressive name of m&neteal
lng. In Massachusetts a party of
kidnappers get eighty thousand for
the return of a girl, but come to
grief at the hands of the police.
A full year has gone by since Col
Lindbergh passed through his try
ing experience, but circumstances
still continue to crowd Ms sorrow
upon, Ms attention. He appears in
'Whsbdngton to testify against two
men charged with defrauding a
woman who paW a large sum in an
effort to secure the safety of the
Lindbergh boy. The father of
Charlie Ross refused to offer a re
ward for the return of his sou.
His stand has no appreciable effect
on the frequency of the crime un
der consideration, and kidnapping
appears to have been on the In
crease during the past few years.
Ft may be that we are in need of
a little old-fashiaped law of the
,
eye-for-an-eye and a tool h-fo*r a
tooth type. "
The Department of- Agriculture
I bias done wonders, yet half 'has
never been told, if an advertise
ment in a Baltimore paper can be
relied upon. It reads: “Grass
seeds guaranteed to grow lawn
mowers, no. 2.49.”
SHOWERS OF GOLD
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Isaac Newton Vail was a learned
V
geologist who came out to Cali
fornia more than a lifelime ago.
He lived near Lake Elsinore and
died in Paaadena twenty years ago.
leaving a number of published
books' and an unpublished manu
script, entitled “Gold and Other
Metals.” Mrs. Alice Vail Hollo
wav of laguna Beach is Prof. Vail’s
daughter. Herself an experienced
gp.nl oaf at, she has asked me to
bring her father’s theory to the
attention of present-day geologists.
The manuscript (brought down
to date by Mrs. Holloway) is
simply and beautifully written.
“After more than forty years of
work as a practical geologist,”
Prof, Vail begins, “I am convinced
‘bat the oceans of the earth as
well as its mineral crust were
lor*, as fiery distillation:, sent up
f'< n. the igneous earth and i. vt‘
they continued through geologic
history to revolve about the earth
as a system of rings like the rings
of Saturn, until due to changing
conditions they settled back upon
the earth. The metals went up as
vapor and came back as gold,-sil
ver, lead, iron, copper and so on.”
Gold vaporizes at 2100 deg. F., he
states: hence, while ^the tempera
ture remained higher than 2100
deg., earth’s gold remained up in
the sky as metallic vapor. When
the temperature cooled below 2100
deg., canopy snows brought down
enormous quantities of gold-laden
vapor, together with all other
forms of metallic dust. Since can
opies in the Northern Hemisphere
supposedly floated northward as
they fell, he believes the whole
[pastern slope of the coast mount
ains of British America and Alaska'
is pre-eminently “the land of the
nugget.”
Mrs. Holloway refers to an ar
ticle in The Times Magazine by
Lieutenant-Commander R. R. Lu
kens (July 24, 1932,) wherein the
statement is.made that: “In Stev
ens Passage, eighteen miles south
east at Juneau, Alaska, the sea
bottom, 600 feet deep, Is sprinkl
ed with gold dust.”
Prof. Vail Claims that all ancient
glaciers are richly stocked with
gold. He expressed the wish that
his book, when published, “should
reach the people who can make
the best use of it—at a price
I *_ - - - ----
wntch even tii!.1 lone prospector
1 mn afford.”
| A very fair-rninde<l and capabl"
j Caltech geologist with whom I dis
cussed Prof. Vail's “Annular Theo
ry" says it is subject to the ob
jections, raised against the “Plan
etessimal theory” of Chamberlain
and Moulton,. They hold that the
earth’s air, water and crust came »'
from outside; that the earthp being
a small body at first, attracted an
infall of star dust—as it is now
pulling meteorites into itself—and
that the infall wan enormous un
til it finally cleared Its orbit. Thi*
theory became a vogue a few year*
ago. It still has champions, but
seems to be losing favor. *
Wholly apart from his Annular
Thepry, however, Prof. Vail’s man
uscript contains many nuggets of
valuable knowledge. Readfng it
reminds one of Gregor Mendel’s
manuscripts. Written in 1^65, it
was not until 100o -eighteen yea's
; after bis death - that biohMfis’**
j came to* realize the revohit 101m r
significance of Mendel’s discover}*-,
j Prof. Vail accounts for the dis
JtriUution of metals over the earth's
j surface in a new way. He calcul
ates that the oceans contain no
f less than 10.000,000.000 tons of
'gold and that the ancient snows
'of both Arctic and Antarctic land*
are equally rich.
CHURCHNOTES
FEDERATED CHURCH
Norman McCay, Pastor
Sunday school at 11 a.m.
Evening worship at 7:40 pm.
| .Music
Pastor’s Message: "Life is the
Great Expounder of Christ.”
' Strangers and newcomers cordially
invited „
CATHOLIC CHURCH
Rev Father Budde, S. J.
Masses at 9 and 11 am Sundays.
Sunday School at 2pm.
Evening Service at 7t30
METHODIST EPISCOPAL CHURCH
W. F. BALDWIN, PASTOR
11 AM. Morning Worship for
Adults.
11 A.M. Children’s Church in
Club House.
7 P.M. Evening Service.
NOTICE
For other local newa daring
the week days look on pages 3
and 4 under day* of the week
with telegraphic news aa publish
ed In the daily bulletin.
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