Howe About:
Railroads
Early Settlers
Babylon and Chicago
©. Bell Syndicate.—'WNU Service.
By ED HOWE
THERE Is much sympathy for the
railroads because of the manner
In which they have been ruined by
automobiles and tru'ks. . . . Still,
the railroads ruined the stage
coaches. My town (Atchison, Kan.),
was once famous because the Ren
Ilolliday stages started from there
for the West Atchison was then
ns famous ns Ix'S Angeles, Medicine
Hat, Washington, Chicago, or Kan
sas Citv is now. Horace Greeley,
Mark Twain, Albert D. Richardson,
Artenms Ward, wrote books about
it. Thousands of freight wagons
started from Atchison for the gold
fields of the West; the exaggerated
buffalo and Indian stories collected
first at Atchison, and were sent out
by the new telegraph to the world.
. . . Still, Atchison was "done up"
by the railroads, and no one came
to its relief.
Brand Whitlock, former American
ambassador to Belgium, and writ
ing In France to Introduce an Eng
lisli edition of an American book,
said of our country towns nnd com
munities;
"These early settlers were en
gaged in a conflict with circum
stances that were too much for hu
man nature. They had to work to
make a bare nnd frugal living; they
had no time for culture nnd refine
raeut. There were few amenities
and no gfaeious forms of art or
manners; no background to life, no
racial memory, no traditional fes
tivals or amusements, none of these
folk-customs that give unity nnd
charm to a people's life. The ma
jority opinion was stamped by a
narrow piety nnd assertive provin
cialism which ruthlessly Imposed its
tyranny on the whole community.
The only escape from its domina
tion and the dreary monotony of a
harsh material existence was to be
found either In the physical de
hntichery of the bar-room and the
demijohn, or in the emotional de
bauchery of the enmp meeting and
the religious revival.”
I deny that eurly settlers any
where engage In a conflict with cir
cumstances too much for human na
ture; also, that men working hard
to make a frugal living have no
time left for culture and refinement.
The grandfather of the present
secretary of agriculture lived in a
country community, nnd asserts in
ids memoirs that his neighbors prac
ticed the gracious forms of man
ners, nnd other old and good cus
toms that give charm to a people's
lives.
I declare country people may do
this anywhere, and at the same time
work hard, prnctice frugal lives, nnd
grow in art, manners, and material
comfort. It Is not necessary for
country people to go awny to rowdy
colleges or cities to learn good man
ners ; the memoirs of Henry Wal
lace's grandfather prove my con
tention.
And I further declare that good
manners are easier practiced any
where than bad manners nnd more
profitable.
• • •
Once I was traveling, and encoun
tered a lot of Jews wailing at some
kind of a wall. (They acted so
strangely that a crowd of loafers
had collected, to watch them carry
on, as Idlers gather to watch a ne
gro baptizing.) . . . There did not
seem to be a first-class Jew in the
lot; they looked like profeslonal
wallers. Some of them had blue
or pink whiskers, nnd their walling
seemed to be an accusation against
Arabs living In the same town. 1
heard that occasionally the Arnbs
beat up the wallers, resulting In
rioting that greatly Injured decent
and hard-working citizens on both
sides. ... It was a poor and ri
diculous show, nnd I soon passed
on, wondering that such folly had
spread over the earth.
I like better the performance of
the Jews at Babylon. Tliey were
taken there ns ignorant slaves, but
learned everything their masters
knew, and, by saving and industry,
survived as a race long after the
magnificent Babylonian cities had
crumbled to dust.
Why don't tlie Jews erect monu
ments In memory of their really
great brethren, and cheer In front
of them, Instead of walling over
their lost cause? I should myself
remove my hat In presence of a
monument in memory of D'lsraeli,
who, alone, captured England, which
the great Napoleon was unable to
do with his grand army.
What a chance for Jews to cheer
In presence of n monument to Ju
lius Itosenwnld, who captured mod
ern Chicago!
* » •
A man attacks me because I do
not like poetry. He might as well
attack me becuuse I am old. Our
worst modern human troubles dute
back to poetry; to refusal of early
men to recognize material facts;
and make the best of them. Every
extreme radical either writes po
etry, or likes Its visionary expres
sions. The best critics are agreed
that poetry Is not understandable;
that it means nothing. And the
first duty of every mun Is to "know
where ha Is at."
BEDTIME STORY
By THORNTON W. BURGESS
HOW N1MBLEHEELS GOT
AWAY
pi:TER RABBIT was all a-shnke.
* It was partly excitement, partly
fear, and partly hope. You remem
ber how he had gone back to the
dear Old ltrler Patch without a
doubt In Ids mind that little Nimble
heels had been caught and carried
nway to the Green Forest by Booty
the Owl. You remember how sad
Peter was and how he had sighed
and sighed again, and how a thin,
high, squeaky voice had asked if
he was In pain.
That voice made Peter Jump. It
sounded exactly like the voice of
little Nimbleheels. If Peter hadn't
Very Cautiously Peter Reached Out
and Touched Nimbleheels.
boon absolutely sure Hint by tills
time Nimbleheels must he In Hie
stomach of Hooty the Owl he would
have said thnt this wns the voice
of Nimbleheels. Hut liow could It
be? It couldn’t. His ears must have
fooled him or else—"Who are you?"
whispered Peter. "Are you a
ghost?"
"I should say not I” exclaimed
the same thin, high, squeaky voice
Indignantly. “There Is no ghost
about me! For goodness sake,
what is the matter with you, Peter
Rabbit?" Out In front of Peter
hopped Nlmhleheels.
Peter backed away hurriedly.
“Go away,” said tie. “This isn't
you. It can't be. You were caught
by llooty the Owl and carried away
for his dinner. You can’t be In Ills
stomach and here, too, so this can't
be you. Go away, please.”
"Pinch yourself and wake up.
Peter," squeaked Nlmbleheels. Then
he began to laugh with all his might.
Peter frowned.
“I don’t see anything to laugh
at,” said he rather crossly, for he
still couldn't believe what his eyes
sa vv.
Nlmbleheels kept right on laugh
ing until he was quite out of breath.
"I may not be tnyself,” said he. “but
I'm quite sure I'm not anybody else.
As for llooty the Owl, if his stom
ach feels any fuller on my account
GipueAePB
“Early to bed and early to rise."
says stepping Stella, “and the neigh
bors would have nothing to talk
about."
©. Bell Syndicate.—WNU Service.
I'm willing to tnuke him the same
kind of a meal every day. Go over
and ask him. I'd like to know what
he says. Just touch me, I'cter.
You'll find I'm real enough."
Very cautiously I'eter reached out
and touched Nlmbleheels. Then his
faci cleared and he began to laugh
himself. "I never was more sure
of anything in all my life than I
was that you had been caught and
cnrrled away by llooty," said he
when he stopped laughing long
enough. "You asked what was the
matter with me. I was sighing on
your account, Nlmbleheels. I was
sighing because my heart was so
sad at the thought that you had
been killed and that I should never,
never see you again. When you
spoke 1 thought my ears must be
playing tricks on me. 1 certainly
did. How did you get away?”
‘‘With the help of n friendly
lilnck Shadow,” replied Nimble
heels. “Hut for that I might be
Just where you thought I was. I
was getting very tired, nnd two or
three times llooty almost caught
me. Then Just ns I Jumped that
Itlack Shadow swept over us and
llooty couldn't see where 1 landed.
I jumped twice more before the
Black Shadow passed over, and by
that time I was safe. Then I bur
ried over here to the dear Old
Brier Patch to wait for you. You
were very wise not to move when
you sat out there In the moonlight
Peter Babbit. I never could have
sat like that right In plain sight. I
never could have, possibly.”
“That was nothing," replied Peter
modestly. “I learned when I was
very young that there nre times to
run and times to freeze nnd sit
tight. This was one of those times.
Tell me, Nlmbleheels. doesn't such
a long tall bother you?”
©. T W. Burn«»s.—WNU Bervlc®.
Through a
WOMAN'S
EYES * NEWTON 1
GETTING OUR OWN WAY
A CONDEMNED prisoner nt Sing
** Sing prison recently asked the
warden for “a few drinks of repeal
liquor," explaining that he had read
of such a request being granted to
a man In another prison who had
little time left to enjoy anything on
this earth.
When the warden refused permis
sion for tills, tlie man told guards
lie would seek the Intercession of
the governor to get him what he
wanted.
Strange, Isn't It, that a man about
to enter the next world should care
so much about getting "a few
drinks of repeal liquor"? Stranger,
too, that he should see nothing in
appropriate In taking up the grati
fication of Ids desire with the gov
ernor of the state!
Our first reaction to this is,
"Poor devil, he’ll have so little time
left to enjoy anything, why not give
him what he wants?” But there Is
an interesting moral in this Inci
dent—If a moral may once In a
very long time be permitted in this
column!
If you stop to think about it
there Is nothing surprising in the
fact that a man with such a distort
ed sense of values should end his
life In tiie death house of a prison.
A man who sees nothing dispropor
tionate In asking the attention of
tiie governor of the state for tiis own
whim or fancy Is not likely to count
the cost to others of nnythlng lie
may want
People whose monetary desires
are of tiie most supreme Importance
in their scheme of life nre among
--
Scottish Jumpers for Roosevelt
THESE two Fair Isle Jumpers were inuile In Inverness, Scotland, on
order from President Itoosevelt and have been shipped to him. The
wool was carded and spun In Inverness mills.
First Vessel to Founder in Panama Canal
TUB Dutch freighter Brton has the distinction o! being the first vessel to founder In the Panama canal.
She went down In Gatun lake about half a mile south of the lock after having developed a dangerous
list that led her commander to try to beach her. The crew was rescued by Panama cnnnl launches.
the most likely candidates for the
other side of prison liars. It may
seem a far cry from asking the gov
ernor to allow liquor Into one’s cell
to "sticking up" a man for the
money to huy what one wants—hut
both are actuated by the same pri
mary impulse—to get what one
w’ants.
It Is with children that we should
start to Inculcate the sense of
values which keeps one's desires in
their proper place—from the cradle
that the ability must he developed
for doing without getting our own
way.
Pelt Syndicate.—WN't) Service.
WITTY KITTY
By NINA WILCOX PUTNAM
Tt> PLWiY j
The Girl-Friend says that Nature
is sure a great artist, but just the
same. Nature can’t seem to copy
the pictures on the seed envelopes
properly.
©, Bell Syndicate.—WNU Service.
STUFFED DATES
r\(l WE ever tire of the delectable
dates? They are so good to
serve with the afternoon tea, lu sal
ads, as desserts, as a confection, or
stuffed with various idlings, one lias
an infinite variety and they ure al
ways welcome. The following are a
few tidings for stuffed dates:
Orange Peanut.
To one-third of a cupful of pea
nut butter udd slowly live tnble
spoonfuls of orange Juice and one
half teaspoonful of grated orange
rind. Fid the dates and rod them
in chopped salted peanuts.
Apricot Coconut.
Wasli one cupful of dried apri
cots. Steam over boiling water to
soften, then run through a food
chopper with one-half cupful of nut
meats and two-thirds of a cupful of
coconut. Add two tablespoonfuls
of orange Juice and one teaspoonful
of orange rind. .Mix until wed blend
ed. Stuff dates and roll in sugar.
Parisian Sweets.
Take one package of dates, one
package of coconut, one-fourth
pound each of tigs and dried apri
cots, put through n food chopper.
Add a tablespoonful of orange juice
and a teaspoonful of the grated rind.
Mix well and divide Into parts. For
fruit caramels pack the portion Into
small pans lightly oiled or buttered,
crease into squares and place a nut
meat on each square. Chill, cut Into
cubes with a sharp knife that has
been dipped into water.
Pried fruits may be used for fruit
favors, turtles, animals; and vari
ous attractive things like ginger
bread men may be made from tigs,
raisins, dates and nuts.
© by Western Newspaper Union.
And It He Busy?
Turkey's President has the power
to grant divorces.
SOLDIER BOY!
By ANNE CAMPBELL
C Ol.DIEK Boy, are the days too
» long?
Is the sun too bright on your nar
row w alls?
Are you weary now of the robin's
song,
And the w ind’s soft voice as the
evening falls?
The lightest breath Is too hard to
hear
When a little life Is so tilled with
care.
Soldier Boy, you are ten years old,
And your boyish soul has a cross to
hold.
Soldier Boy, It's a bitter fight.
But your smile Is valiant for
those who come
Hoping to make your day more
bright
With a gift to add to your mea
ger sum.
You have a daily bout with pain,
And the years will drag till you
run again,
With Health’s quicksilver In your
feet,
And a cry of joy for the friends
you meet!
Soldier Boy, 1 would gladly give
My heart's firm beat and the
strength of my hands,
If It would mean your right to live,
And scamper with Joy on the sum
mer sands.
Soldier Boy, It's an eagle's flight
To the lovely land where there Is
no night,
And the wings of your spirit are
firm and true.
As onward and upward they carry
you!
Copyright.—WNU Service.
BONEPS
By the Treaty of Utrecht It was
provided that the thrones of France
and Spain should never rest on the
same head.
BONERS are actual humorous
tid-bits found in examination pa
pers, essays, etc., by teachers.
The hut overhead was a place
where the ascents and descents of
gods and goddesses were kept.
• • •
The square of the hippopotamus
of a right triangle is equnl to the
sum of the squares of the other two
sides.
« * *
Homony Is some food made of
corn.
• • •
The Bill of Bights says that nil
men have certain Inherent rights,
and they cannot deprive them of
tlieir posterity.
• • •
Dryden and Buckingham were
first friends, but finally became con
temporaries.
• • •
The United States bought Alaska
from the ltussians for $7,500,000.
They thought we were an awful nut
for buying It.
C. Bell Syndicate.—WNU Service.
j lo You Know
L+hat among the lower I
classes in England about
1300, splinters of,wood
dipped in fat were used
as candles. Those used by
the early Romans were
made of string surrounded
by wax or dipped in pitch.
C McClure Newspaper Syndicate -tCAH
VVNU Service
Shorts for Sports
Here, modeled by Miss Uharlott*
Young, Is a sports costume of ahorti
and blouse that Is characteristic 01
the stylos for the spring and com
Ing summer. It was shown at tht
spring fashion promenade In New
York sponsored by the women’s np
parel division of the National Itotal
Dry Goods association.
P41PA IliiMCWS-l
I
"Pop, what Is a mandolin?’’
“Stringed applesauce."
C. Bell Syndicate.—WNU Service.
Good Taste Today
By EMILY POST
Author of
‘ETIQUETTE," "THE BLUE
BOOK OF SOCIAL USAGE,” Etc.
PROPRIETIES
DEAR Mrs. Post: What do you
think of a lined envelope In sta
tionery used by ynen? It seems Im
possible to find an unlined envelope,
which does not permit the writing
to show through.
Answer: They are perhaps not
objectionable. If plain, but they are
really more suitable for women. It
you do not write on the hack page
the Ink can’t show through 1
• • *
My Dear Mrs. Post: I know a
young man (and his family) very
well. This person has asked me
to go ns his guest to the World’s
fair in Chicago with him and his
twenty-two-year-old sister. Is his
sister a sufficient chaperon to keep
people from talking nhout us?
Answer: You cannot properly let
him pay your railway fare nnd your
hotel bill. Aside from tills, you
might perfectly well go to Chicago
when they go. and of course go to
see the fair with them nnd take ns
many meals with them and go to
whatever places of nmusement they
Invite you.
* m *
Dear Sirs. I'ost: I have been tak
ing a girl out for the greater part
of two years. We always have to
take her mother and sister (or both)
with us, no matter whether It Is to
the movies or for a ride In my ear
—and I might add at my expense.
I have complained to the girl and
she says If I like her as much as I
pretend, I won't mind. What, If
anything, Is there left for me to do?
Answer: Thirty years ago her be
havior would have been conven
tional. Today It Is so unreason
able ns to suggest' that she likes
your car and the movies more than
she docs you. In your place, I
would tell her frankly that one man,
two girls and an older woman Is not
your Idea of a pleasant party. If
she st ill Insists on including her
whole family. I would transfer my
attentions to another girl.
• • •
Dear Mrs. Post: I received a post
card from a friend who Is away on
her vacation. The card has no salu
tation and close, and I felt hurt
about tills coldness, until some one
told me that none were Intended
for postcards. Is this true?
Answer: Cards, like telegrams,
are public messages. Therefore,
they never have a beginning, nor do
they have more than the most ab
breviated signature possible at the
close.
WHO IS A "LADY”?
r\ RAH Mrs. I'ost: Is the word
“lady’’ more correct than “wom
an’’ when telling some one that
“there Is a (blank) calling on the
telephone?" The word doesn't seem
to have any real significance any
longer If I am to Judge by the many
females who are called "lady” and
who don't know any more about fol
lowing “the code of a lady (or gen
tleman)" than I know nhout build
ing skyscrapers, when my business
Is to design draperies for their many
windows. Is any woman a “lady"
nowadays?
Answer: The term, which once
denoted a person of breeding and
cultivation, long ago deteriorated
Into meaning nothing more than a
female of respectable appearance.
Consequently those who have clear
est right to the title speak of them
selves and their friends as women.
One should, however, always say “a
Indy on the telephone." You would
also say, “I am making curtnins for
a lady In Chicago.”
Dear Mrs. Post: Our neighbors
are very inconsiderate. My husband
works every evening until eleven
o’clock nnd would enjoy sleeping un
til eight o'clock next morning. But
It is next to Impossible to get any
sleep after six o'clock because their
small children are not disciplined at
all, nnd their mother never tells
them to be quiet, or keeps them
from climbing Into our yard. In
fact, she herself slams doors and
yells. Isn't there anything we can
do to mend their habits and yet
keep the neighborhood in an ami
able state? We can’t move, so
don't advise that.
Answer: When neighbors are in
considerate nothing can he done ex
cept to call on the board of health
(or whatever local official deals
with such matters). I have a friend
who owns a New York apartment,
the sale of which in this city Is im
possible. Overhead live two boys
whose only diversions seem to be
jumping contests and chopstlck pi
ano duets. The misery of iny friend,
who is an invalid, can hardly be ex
aggerated. In this case each note
of protest brings a note of apology
from the mother or the father, and
then the noise goes on unabated.
Perhaps a visit from a representa
tive of the board of health might be
effective — depending, of course,
upon the efficiency of this particu
lar representative.
® bj Emily Poet.—WNU Service.
More Effective
Etaoln — Does your wife ever
threaten to go home to mother?
Shrdlu—Naw. she sends for moth
er.