Howe About:
A Possible Comrade
Veterans’ Expense
Preaching to Oneself
©. Bell Syndicate.—WNC Service.
By ED HOWE
T t' IS a great comfort to me to
* attract a little favorable atten
tion from nice people. This morn
ing I received an agreeable letter
from a gentleman of eighty-four
who Is still at work as a doctor In
Brooklyn, N. Y. I should like to
talk to him; old people still able to
carry on with reasonable credit and
efficiency Interest me. How do they
meet the various problems that con
front me? How do they sleep? What
best "agrees with them" In food? I
dislike a man I hnve known many
years, although he 1ms never vi
ciously offended me; In my efforts
to get away from him I fear I may
become impolite. What would this
line old doctor In Brooklyn, who has
kept a sound grip on himself, rec
ommend In such a case? The un
necessary follies of the young an
noy me, although I know I should
submit to them gracefully, as the
old submitted to me when I was a
young bore. How does this man
of real intelligence handle newspa
per heroes? Some of the cheaper
ones annoy me more than Is good
for me. I’d rather go to Brooklyn
and see this man than go around
the world. I have a notion be has
as much medical knowledge ns any
of them, and more common sense.
I had such a friend a few years
ago, but he died, and I greatly miss
him.
* * •
Gen. Frank T. Hines, himself a
veteran of the World War, and at
present administrator of veterans
affairs In the United States, lately
said in a public address: "Slatls
tics show British annual payments
of $38 per man returned dead or
wounded, the French $58, and the
United States $2,658. . . . Here
Is an official statement that In a
certain Item of public expenses, the
United States pays $2,600 per year
more than England or France. I
have never seen an equally startling
exhibit of American extravagance.
. . . General Hines further said:
"T* the veterans who came through
the war unscathed the government
owes . . , nothing more than It
owes to any other loyal citizen. I
can see no Justification for a vet
eran who Is well able to provide for
himself applying to his government
for aid. If we are to teach our
young men that service to their
country means that government
thereafter must reward sucli serv
ice, Irrespective of need, then we
are undermining the very founda
tion of good citizenship." . . .
At a recent congressional Investi
gation of the subject it was stated
that three out of four men In gov
ernment hospitals are there for ail
ments not caused by their war la
bors; also, that all aid to veterans
costs United States taxpayers near
ly a billion dollars yearly, has cost
since the war about six billions, and
will cost twenty-one billions by
1945. Veteran relief will become
tlie dominant issue in the Immedi
ate future; It has been so extrava
gantly and dishonestly administered
the people must revolt. The three
official statements quoted above
should be preserved fur future ref
erence.
• * •
A render writes me: "I am one
of your few admirers. My only ob
jection to you Is frequent repeti
tion of the belief that tHe better a
man behaves, the better he will get
along. I think this Is true; that
there is no greater or more Impor
tant truth. But because of my be
lief in this sound doctrine I do not
behave any better. It Is further
proof of your doctrine that evangel
ists are bores, and do more harm
than good. We all believe in tem
perance, but because of tiresome
preaching of It, even the women
and children are In danger of be
coming drunkards. ... I still be
lieve in a man preaching to himself
a good deal; If he tries long enough,
he will be able to make consider
able progress, In spite of Ills weak
nesses, and find the going easier.
• • •
Moderns laugh at the ancient
story of Joshua commanding the sun
to stand still that he might have
more hours of daylight in which to
complete a massacre he was en
gaged In. . . . But modern men
actually do many things the an
cients would not have believed:
moving and talking pictures, talking
ucross the ocean without wires, etc.
. . . Perhaps our loaning sixteen
billions to foreigners without se
curity and bankrupting ourselves
unnecessarily would have caused
them to doubt most.
I live In a Kunsns town, with
Missouri, where saloons have been
set up, Just across a river bridge. I
lately visited one of these saloons,
ns a matter of curiosity. More
women than men were present. The
place was as orderly and clean us
a Sunday school picnic serving lem
onade. . . . Let me record that
never before have I seen men and
women I knew to be respectable
mingling freely In an open saloon.
It Is another of the new things now
so common In the United States.
edtime Storii
/Thornton W Burgess
__
THE TENDER HEART OF
FARMER BROWN’S BOY
LIEN Nimble Heels tlie Jump
ing Mouse so unexpectedly
Jumped up Inside the trousers’ leg of
Farmer Brown's joy he prob
ably was more frightened than
Farmer Brown's boy himself, and
that Is saying considerable. You
see, for a minute or two Farmer
Brown's boy didn't have the least Idea
whose sharp little claws were cling
ing to his leg. He simply knew that
there was something nllve on his
"I'm So Sorry,” Murmured Farmer
Brown’s Boy as He Stroked the
Little Brown Mouse.
knee and his first thought was of
u Snake. Farmer Brown’s boy
does not like Snakes. If he had done
any real thinking he would have
known that It couldn't be a Snake,
for a Snake would have felt very
different.
But Farmer Brown's boy noted
first and thought afterwards. In
times of real danger this often Is
the best way of doing. In times of
Imaginary danger It Is often the
other way around. Almost without
knowing that he was doing It, Farm
er Brown’s boy brought his hand
down heavily at the point where
he felt those sharp little claws. Un
der his hand he felt a soft little
body.
“Oh 1” cried Farmer Brown’s boy,
"l’m afraid that that was Danny
Meadow Mouse and that I've killed
him.”
Farmer Brown’s boy sat down in
the grass, and with his free hand
carefully rolled up his trousers’ leg
until he could take hold of little
Nimble Heels. As he drew out the
dainty little brown-coated fellow
Farmer Brown’s boy gave a little
whistle of surprise. He had ex
pected to see blunt-headed, stubby
tailed, stout-bodled Danny Meadow
Mouse. And here In his hand was
the slimmest, trimmest little mouse
he ever had seen. And such a
tail! He whistled again when he
saw the length of that slim, taper
ing tail. Never before had Farmer
Brown’s boy seen a Jumping Mouse.
Poor little Nimble Heels lay quite
still in Farmer Brown's boy's hands.
You see, that had been a very hard
r QP'iQG^
“When suffering from what Is
known as spots before the eyes,”
says diagnostic Dot, “it’s time to
•end the dress to the cleaners."
©, Bell Syndicate.—WNU Service.
blow that Farmer Brown's boy had
struck In his surprise. Instantly a
look of pity and sorrow swept over
the face of Farmer Brown's boy.
"You poor little fellow! I'm afraid
1 have killed you and I wouldn't
have done that for the world,” he
cried.
There were tears In the eyes of
Farmer Brown's hoy, as he stroked
the soft little body with one linger.
A leg moved and then kicked feebly.
Into the eyes of Farmer Brown's
boy crept a look of hope. Without
stopping to turn down the leg of
his trousers, Farmer Brown's boy
started for the Smiling Bool ns fnst
ns he could run. When he got there
he dipped a little water up In the
hollow of Ills hand nnd sprinkled
Nimble Heels. Nimble Heels gasped
a little and Farmer Brown’s hoy
put a drop or two of vater In his
mouth. Nimble Heels opened his
eyes. You see, he hadn't been
dead nfter all, but he might have
died If Farmer Brown's boy hadn't
tried to bring him inck to life.
“I'm so sorry.” murmured Farm
er Brown's boy ns he stroked the
little brown Mouse. “I'm so sorry.
I guess now I’d better take you
home so ns to he sure you quite
recover.” And so it was that Nim
ble Heels began a long journey.
T. W. Burgeas.—WNU Service.
THROUGH A
Womans Eyes
By JEAN NEWTON
MOTHER-IN-LAW'S DAY
THE town of Amarillo, Texas,
has added a new holiday to the
calendar: “Mother-In-Law’s day”!
The slogan of the town on that
day was: “A mother-in-law Is a
mother who has made good.” The
mayor Issued a proclamation call
ing for city-wide observance. The
leading theater gave entertainment,
and business houses contributed fa
vors and prizes. Awards went to
the oldest and youngest, the pret
tiest mother-in-law, and the one
with the greatest number of chil
dren married.
The important question, It seems to
me, is who started it. Is Amarillo
a town so distinguished for happy
marriages that the men have band
ed together to honor the mothers
who so brought up their wives to
make them happy? Is it with
grateful sous-in-law that the move
ment started for "Mother-In-Law’s
day"?
Sadly, no. This Is how It hap
pened: Some of Amarillo's prom
inent matrons, encouraged by Gene
A. Howe, newspaper publisher, have
organized the Mother-In-Law's club
of Texas. The club’s president
says, “a mother-in-law Is one who
has brought up her daughters In
such a way that they want to marry
and make homes, and have enough
appeal that men want to marry
I them.”
Most of the mothers-In-law I
know would be a bit embarrassed,
I think, by such a movement on
the part of a woman’s club In theif
town. Mothers (and therefore
mothers-In-law) are people who do
not have to ndvertise. They give
us they do of themselves because
that giving Is a part of them. And
there Is nothing they want out of
life, ns a rule, which "selling them
selves" could obtain for them.
Mothers are human, of course,
and it warms their hearts to know
that they are appreciated. It Is a
great joy to a mother to know that
she has the affection of her daugh
ter's husband or her son's wife.
But It Is the spontaneity of this
that brings them satisfaction and I
think the rank and file of mothers
In-law would not be greatly en
thused over a holiday li their name
sponsored by a woman's club.
©. Bell Syndicate.—WNU Service.
Learning to Protect Their Homes
ACTLNU on tlie suggestion ot Mrs. Franklin L>. Itoosevelt, the women of
Bordentown, N. J., are tnking up seriously the study of marksmanship
for the protection of their homes and their children from the depredations
of burglars and kidnapers. Lieut. Harry W. Barrlck, United States army
pistol and rifle champion and infantry Instructor at the Bordentown Mili
tary institute, has taken the ladles under his tutelage. Two of his promis
ing pupils are here shown, with their children.
Agriculture Department Uses Lots of Space
m
/"'UVKIU.NG nearly six city blocks, the United States Department of Agriculture buildings are the largest
group of buildings to house government activities In Washington. This photograph, taken from the \\ ash
lngton monument, shows the administration building (left) where Secretary Wallace and his assistants have
their ottices, while on the right are the extensible buildings wherfe the many agriculture laboratories are locat
ed. The activities of the Agricultural administration are also handled from this building.
BONERS
wa—mil \m\miMMwawj'
F^ TTiBTTMl :
I I . ■-*
A hamlet Is an English breakfast
dish consisting mainly of eggs and
ham cooked together.
BONERS are actual humorous
tid-bits found in examination pa
pers, essays, etc., by teachers.
When you want to make some
thing more than it is you put it on
a graph.
• » »
Jonah was a man and he swal
lowed a whale.
• • •
When Cromwell ruled England he
was so religious he shut up all the
movies.
* • •
When the Liberal Party split Par
nell was left without any support
ers.
• • •
The Crusades affected the growth
of cities because the country all
went to weeds while they were
away and when they came back
they had to move to the city.
• • •
The Dardanelles were a low class
of people during the war.
i ©. Bell Syndicate.—WNU Service.
CHOICE THINGS TO EAT
A QUICK hot bouillon may be
made by using a teaspoonful
of the prepared vegetable paste,
dissolved In a cupful of hot water.
Any other flavor may be added If
desired—a slice of lemon or a bit of
onion extract.
Tomato Canape.
Cut bread one-fourth Inch thick
and mnke Into rounds with a cooky
cutter. Spread with butter and then
with mayonnaise; on this put a
slice of peeled tomato the same size,
spread with mayonnaise, edge the
tomato with a ring of chopped
chives Inside a ring of chopped egg
white and the rlced yolk to dll the
center. Top with a stuffed olive or
a sprig of (parsley.
Cherry Creams for Decorating.
Cut candled or preserved cherries
with scissors to make four open
petals. Put a small ball of fondant
in the center of each, stick a stem
and leaf of angelics or citron at the
bottom and use to decorate small
cakes.
Oyster Cocktail In Grapefruit Shells.
Put two tablespoonfuls of catsup,
a tablespoonful of chili sauce, a
I IP A IP A BiNOWS-l
l I
"Pop, what is Jaundice?”
"The yellow peril.”
e Bell Syndicate.—WNU sendM,
MEADOWS OF
MEMORY
By ANNE CAMPBELL
ACROSS the meadows of my
memory
A collie dog comes running.
The buttercups are growing happily.
The quail are sunning.
A meadow lark Is whistling from
the fence—
A rail fence sprawling—
And 1 can hear through thickets
green and dense.
The crickets calling.
The butterflies nre wheeling In the
sun.
The locust trees nre sending
Their perfume to a child—a lonely
one—
Whose day Is ending.
When In the West the banners of
the night
Display their beauty,
A little girl will take her bedtime
flight—
A tiresome duty.
My room still stands within my
memory.
I see each low brown rafter.
Then I remember—though I long
to be
Where childish laughter
Made every hour of living a refrain,
Serene and glowing—
The house Is tumbled down, and In
the lane
The weeds are growing.
Copyright.—WNU Service.
WITTY KITTY
By NINA WILCOX PUTNAM
The Girl-Friend eaye the only
thing it seems to be safe to sell
short Is dresses.
©. Bell Syndicate.—WNU Service.
dash of paprika and tabasco Into a
small glass with one-half dozen oys
ters for each cocktail. Set Into the
shell of half a grapefruit, surround
with Ice on the plate and serve.
Horseradish is well liked and may
be substituted for the chili sauce.
Almond Paste.
Take half a pound of blanched
and ground almonds, the yolks of
two eggs, the juice of half a lemon
and a few drops of almond flavor
J^lo You Know—
! j- —i^N^OMtQuft Ntwgiw Smdicai. I
^bat the torch-fish, a very I
ugly looking speciman of
deep-sea fish found off
Madeira, carries a luminous
bulb above the eyes resem
bling a torch from which
it gets its name,
«<aharw- '
WNU Service
Paris Spring Suit
This model by Mirande of Paris
is of brown and white, the blouse
being of surah in the same colors.
lng. Mix together well, knead with
the hands until smooth and pliable
and will mold without splitting.
Use as filling for dates or prunes,
or made Into balls and rolled Id
chocolate, grated.
© by Western Newspaper Union.
All Eyes Focused on Congress
i
I I » "• »| 1
Good Taste Today
By EMILY POST
Author of
"ETIQUETTE,” “THE BLUE
BOOK OF SOCIAL USAGE,” Etc.
IN THE DINING ROOM
DEAR Sirs. Post: Is It Important
enough to matter In which di
rection the cutting edge of the din
ner knife should be laid—toward
the plate or away from It?
Answer: Toward It, because when
picked up It conies more easily to
hnnd. All details of table setting
are Important because lack of pre
cision spoils the effect of perfec
tion exactly as even a few errors
mar the whole page of a letter.
• • •
Mr. Dear Mrs. Post: 1 hnd din
ner the other night In the house
of a hostess who placed napkins
on the right side of the plate In
stead of on the left side. This Is
the first time I have encountered
the reversed practice. Is It a new
Idea? If so, Is It correct according
to etiquette?
Answer: There Is no rule as to
whether the napkin Is put left,
right, or crossways above the plate.
All these positions are permissible
only In houses of limited service In
which It Is necessary that food be
put at the places. In houses with
plenty of service, no food Is put
at the places before people are seat
ed, and the napkin Is put In Its cor
rect position on the service plate.
• • •
Dear Mrs. Post: A friend tells
me that according to latest modern
fashion your column was behind the
times in saying that deputy host
esses serve the ten and chocolate
at a formal tea Introducing a debu
tante. I am told all serving Is done
by servants.
Answer: I have no Idea whose
column your friend is quoting, but
it was not mine. Never in any times
have deputy hostesses poured either
at a formal tea or at a wedding
collation. To quote my own book
in the edition published in 1022:
“At the most formal type of tea,
the tea table Is exactly like that
at a wedding reception, in that it
is a large table set as a buffet, and
always in charge of the caterer's
men, or the hostess’ own butler or
waitress and assistants. It is never
presided over by deputy hostesses.”
• * •
Dear Mrs. Post: Is it necessary
to use Individual butter knives when
bread and butter plates nre not
used?
Answer: Of course not. There
would be nowhere to put them.
WE WOULD LIKE TO
CELEBRATE
DEAR Mrs. Post: I have two
sons coming home from abroad
with their wives, whom I have nev
er met. I would like to entertain
rather informally when they are
here so that many people will he
able to meet them. What kind of
party would you suggest that I
give, and tell me how to write the
invitations?
Answer: An afternoon tea is the
simplest party to give and very suit
able to such an occasion. Write
across your visiting card:
To meet Mrs. John Jones
and Mrs. Henry Jones
Sat., Sept. 23,
Tea at 5 o'clock.
On the day of the tea your daugh
ters-in-law would receive with you.
Have the table set in your dining
room. Serve tea and either fruit
punch or coffee or chocolate, as well
as sandwiches and cake, but noth
ing else. Or, if you prefer an eve
ning hour, then write on your
double visiting card:
To meet
Mr. and Mrs. John Jones
and Mr. and Mrs. Henry Jones
Sat. Eve., Sept. 23,
at 0 o’clock.
Serve sandwiches, salad, ice
cream, cake, fruit punch and cof
fee. Otherwise, details the same
as for a tea.
• • •
My dear Mrs. Post: Mother and
father will have their silver wed
ding anniversary late this month.
They are not planning to entertain,
but I would like to have something
for them, because I am very proud
that at the end of twenty-five years
together they are still Ideally hap
py. 'What could X do? Perhaps I
ought to tell you that I am single
and live with them, but we belong
to a country club where I could en
tertain without having them know
beforehand.
Answer: You might give a din
ner and invite the few people they
like best. Or, if you want to ask
many people, you might have a tea
for them, or an Informal evening
reception, which would be exactly
the same excepting that you will
have to have a little more to eat.
You should ask people verbally and
tell them it is to be a surprise
party. A wedding cake with white
icing, but decorated with silver—
if this appeals to you—and as much
silver decoration as you can think
of would be suitable.
© by Emily Post.—WNU Service.
Preliminary Arrangements
"Everybody wants everybody else
to be happy,” said Uncle Eben.
“But dar never wag a time when
good folks wouldn't get Into quar
rels 'bout de preliminary arrange
ments.”