An Independent Newspaper. Published Weekly,
Vol. 1. FAIRBANKS, ALASKA, Tftjpsday, April 23 I9I4. No, 4.
Stray Thoughts.
Speaking of the prospective
■war, our esteemed patriotte eiti—
z en, the editor of the News-Mi
ner says, ”We are willing.” Does
he mean It or is he willing for
the other fellow to go?
We have a sneaking sutni
cion that for once there is one
point upon which we can agree
with the News-Miner. We are
not willing for the war because
<we want to go or have any iuten
tion of going any more then
“Thompson has, hut because it
will furnish an opportunity to
bill off a lot of feiiows that make
good scabs, strikebreakers etc.
Of course Thompson has ano
ther reason for wanting war, so
between us we will see that the
.other fellow gets te go to war.
Is there anything patriotic in
be ing shot down in the interests
of the Standard Oil Trust? “0
Patriotism! Patriotism! how ma
ny crimes are committed In thy
name.”
U ' —
I
In his exceedingly clever es
say on ‘War and War makers.’
Mr. Dooley says: “I wish that it
comd be fixed up that the men
that starts the wars
could do the fighting. The
thronbleis that all the prelimn’
ries is arranged by matchmak
ers and all they'se left for the
fighters is to do the murtherin’*
I’ll never go dowu again to see
sogers off to th’ war. But ye’ll
see me at the depot with a brass
band whin th' men that causes
vars starts f r th'scene iv car
nage. hen Congress goes forth
to the sun -kissed and raiujooied
isles of the Pacific no more hear
tier cheer will be heard than
the one or two that rises from
th” bosom of Martin Pooley.”
t* JkJL.w* -
We cjnite agree with M-. Doo
contiuued on last collumu.
Royal Rabbit Eaters
Ready For war!
Fairbanks Alaska,
AAp>idl 22nd, lgl4r.
Dear Frend Wilson;
I know you will not be
huffy about me using the term
frend, as T am a working man '
and you are every working
man’s frend.
Now my business is this. I
read tbit you are going to make
war for Mexico. The Solemn
Owl, that's a newspaper we’ve
got up here, had a big peace a
bout it the other day giving the
names of the generals and the
line ef attack and how it was go
ing to end and all about it.
Now I want to git in on this
■war if it don’t cost anything.
All my friends want to go and I
am already organizing a compa
ny which is to fight under the
name of ine Royal Rabbit Eaters
ol ike North. I think that is
a better name than Rough Ri
ders or Rough Necks, don’t you?
Besides it is more natural.
I am certain to have several
big bugs in my company too.
The editor of the Daley Jump
ing Jack is crazy to go. He is a
very patriotic man like myself
and we both sleep on red white
or blue pillows.
Mv company would be ;ood
for the jungles, as we are us. 1 o
musketos and bad travelinr
Kindly make it your business
to let me know at once by wire
less if you will except usf. o. b.
Fairbanks. Also let me know
how the rabbit crop is in Mexi
co and if you think we had
ought totako some dried ones a
long or only snares. It would be
hard on us change diet sudden.
Might interfeer with our fighting
If you are short of guns we can
rustle our own and I understand
that the flag we are going to
make the Mexicans saloot is al
ready down there to be salooted.
My blood boils and the editor
of the Solemn Owl and the edi
tor of the Jumping Jack their
blood boils too as we hear about
them Greasers declining to sa
loot our flag. On behalf of the
Democrats of Alaska I thank
you Mr, Wlison for challenging
them to a duel.
Well that’s about all I can
>.*—.. Jim* uo«. i ue uoys are
going to send you a Tailroad
present as soon as we have ano
ther cleanup
Answer soon,
Captain Michael Moiraire •
P.S. The damn Socialists are
kicking about your war.
They say if a live Greaser wont
saloot the flag a dead one can’t
so to let you and Huerta fight it
out. It dont matter as there are
only seveuty-nine here. When
I found out they would not en
list I refused to take any of
them into my company. Cap.M.
M.
Michael Moiraire
Captain Of The Royal Rabbit Eaters Of The North
Fairbanks, Alaska,
Dear Mike,
Yeur company will be accept
ed at once but you must cut out
the newspaper men. This is a
light and not a chewing match.
Rabbits in Mexizo big as burros.
If you expect mush down there
you must bring it with you.
We furnish everything else but
the Salute The Mexicans ha\e
got to furnish that. You did
right not to accept anyone who
would not enlist.
Prepare for immediate aciion.
Yeur company will be under
command of Colonel Barnette.
WAV.
Commander in Chief.
ley liiftt if any of our Statesmen
or Big Business men like war to
much ’tis them that ought to be
lown there tn c Id Mexico peltin'
over the road with oi’ Huerta
chasin’ thorn with shot gun. The
man that li es fightin’ ought to
tuan in au‘ 3pul! his fallow-cauu
ihrymen h: u:-of.
Now w li he a goOd time for
the Beeh ' rnst to get lid of some
of its sta e goods and diseased
meat, so hat what the guns of
the Mesie m fail la kill off the
bad meat i ,
_ _ o
Slierdc i suid " War is Ilelj’,
and wo sr ‘let those who wan*
Hell go to hell.’
- t y
t j
It is reported that since Mr.
Crossley loft for the outside, in
searching Mr. Gillette has
found a case identical with one
of those which Mr. Crossley has
gone to ‘Frisco to try, in which
I the Supreme Court sustained all
the contentions that the district
attorney is making in the present
case. Good for Gillette.
— _ 1' "
Kaiser Stops
Sunday Meetings
T*he Kaiser has stopped So
cialist meetings in B.*rlin on
Sunday because it pevents peo
|pie from attending church.
■
8-Hour Law For
French Miners
270,OCO miners iu France are
now enjoying an eight-hour
day.
Advertise iu FREE TRESS.