-- Kodiak Kapsules —
(By Bill Mason)
(continued from page 1>
ham that feeds him.
MANDATES: What nations
and old maids crave.
HANGOVER: The moaning
after the night before.
ALIMONY: Bounty on the
mutiny.
REFINEMENT: The ability to
yawn without opening your
mouth.
GOSSIP: A person who care
fully picks friends to pieces.
VISION: What some persons
think when you guessed right.
* * * *
Stolen from the Rotarian:
“They say Dick is crazy on the
subject of golf and his wife is
equally crazy over auction sales.
“Yes, and the funny part of it is
that they both talk in their sleep.”
“The other night a neighbor
heard Dick shout ‘Fore!’ and im
mediately his wife yelled, “Four
and a quarter’.”
* * * *
And we have E. L. Cardinal to
thank for this bit of poemtry:
No Never
With graceful feet a maiden
sweet
Was tripping the light fantastic
When suddenly she tore for the
dressing room,
You can never trust elastic.
* * * *
And we want to personally
thank all the fine folks who turned
out for the Benny Benson White
Elephant Auction Sale. Everybody
had lots of fun and most of all
Art Brooks, who did a skillful job
of auctioneering.
* * * *
Things have gotten so bad
around these parts that even the
Mayor finds it necessary to
Eight Qualify To
Teach Self-Help
Of the dozen Kodiak residents
who have graduated from the Med.
ical Self Help Course taught by Dr.
Bob Johnson, the following com
pleted the full first aid course, in
cluding training on radiation and
treatment of radiation and are now
fully qualified as instructors and
are willing to teach the course:
K. E. Brandenburg, Rev. Mar
carius Targonsky, John Warren,
George Cornelius, Guy C. Powell,
Marilyn Brandenburg, Elizabeth
Edith Samper and Richard L.
Pfaff.
! You Don’t Know
How Good
King Crab
Can Be Until
You Have Tried
THE TOWN CLUB
Try It
TONIGHT!
(Closed Monday)
write to the Base and apologize
for some of the statements in
our paper.
If you have any dusty apples
around your abode look them up.
We know where you can get a
gloss on them.
* * * *
..For your information, and it’s
good news, too, the Woody Island
FAA installation will not be moved
to Anchorage as has been widely
reported in the community.
This comes directly from the
mouth of Darrell Chaffin.
* * * *
THAT SOLVES IT!
In the midst of the depression
a lubrication salesman we heard
about became badly discouraged
after a trip around his territory
that produced no orders. All he
heard was hard luck stories. Fi
nally he decided to leave the
field to chiselers, and jump off
the Michigan Avenue Bridge in
Chicago.
Just as he was about to jump,
the guard approached. “Hey,
you,” he yelled. “Wait a minute.
Let’s talk this over.”
They paced back and forth
across the bridge for an hour,
eventually reaching an agree
ment. They stopped, shook hands
and jumped off together.
* * * *
Just a week ago Thursday we
learned the news that we had be
come a grandpop—the mother be
ing Miss Colorado who was in tne
Miss America Pageant in 1959.
Seems awful young to be a
grandfather at the age of 31, but
then I guess everything moves
much faster now than it did years
ago.
* * * *
We want to thank all you good
people who brought in copies of
the February 1, 1963, edition
which we duly forwarded to Mi
ami, Florida, as requested.
Seems rather odd but we got
more copies in than we printed
on that day. Really some good
searchers around these parts.
Luana Garoutte,
Gary Woody Win
Top Elks Prizes
Miss Luana Garroute and Gary
Woody each won $100 prizes in the
BPOE 1772 Youth Leadership con
test just concluded, it was an
nounced by Wally Valen, chairman
of the Youth Activities Committee
for the Lodge.
Second place went to Nelda
Stone in the girls’ division and to
Johnny Vosgien in the boys’ divi
sion —each was awarded a $50
prize.
Judges for the contest were Mrs.
Mary Sorum, Lillian Smith and
Roy Madsen.
In all, seven KHS students en
tered the contest, and the two win
ners went to Fairbanks in com
petition with other state entries,
although unfortunately neither
placed.
The prizes will be awarded in
May on Elks National Youth Day,
Valen stated.
License Places
Police Chief R. E. Vickery has
issued a warning about using a ve
hicle with out-of-state license
plates.
“We suggest you check and see
if your out-of-state license plates
has expired, and that when you use
a vehicle in your business you must
at once secure Alaska plates,"
Vickery advised car owners this
week.
POLICE SLOGAN
The more chances you take the
less chance you have.
Send for 1963 Catalogue
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