Howe About:
Drinking and Smoking
Policemen
Sane Writing
©. 1933. Bell Syadloat*.—WNU Service.
By ED HOWE
A MAN of thirty-five lately wrote
** me he drank so much he lost
his Job. If he could quit two weeks,
he said he could overcome his bad
habit, and again become a salary
earner and respectable citizen.
In my reply I said If he would
quit drinking, and write me In six
months I would quit smoking, a
habit In which I had Indulged many
years. Something I wrote seemed
to encourage him; he replied later
he had passed the critical two
weeks, was again on the pay roll,
and doing well. He further said he,
too, was a smoker, and if I’d quit
right away, he would.
In replying, I said: "Another of
my had habits is to put off until
tomorrow that which I should do
today; so I hog you will grant the
delay I ask. In addition, I suggest
you do not overload yourself tn
good endeavor. Would It not be wis
er for both of us to have the solace
of smoking while thinking of the
great reform we have promised to
accomplish in six months?”
• * *
Everyone has probably remarked
how bold policemen are In arrest
ing citizens disposed to obey the
law. Such a man, I learn from the
Associated Press, was lately arrest
ed and fined three times In ten
minutes. The man said In court he
had been a taxpayer forty years,
and had never before been arrest
ed. The judge fined him n fourth
time for that. The offending citl- !
zen had bought a pistol, owing to
the prevalence of burglars, and was
taking It home. Also everyone has
probably remarked how slow po
licemen are In arresting men who
not only carry concealed weapons,
hut machine guns, or sawed-off shot
guns, which cannot very well be I
concealed about the person.
I am greatly Interested tn a
manuscript sent me lately for criti
cism. The author says in an ac
companying letter that I once sug
gested that a writing entiled "The
Autobiography of a Failure” might
attract public favor; that he has
prepared such a writing, partly
wlille an inmate of an insane asy
lum (where he spent ten years),
and partly while an Inmate of a
poorhouse (where he Is at present,
troubled with palsy, rheumatism and
bad eyes.) As to the merit of the
writing, I will let the render Judge,
by giving several examples. The
author confesses he may occasion
ally quote unconsciously froih oth
ers, of which the reader may also
judge from the following para
graphs: "It Is quite a Job to main
tain a sane policy in an insane
world. He is a prudent man who is
not only undeceived by apparent j
stability or instability, but is able
to forecast the lines on which move
ments will take place. ... An op
timist Is one who believes that noth
ing will happen but materialization
of his dreams. . . . How unanswer
able history proves that nothing in
spires had faith like perfect faith!
. . . Though I would not part with
such scraps of education as I have
learned at school, I do not place
the same store by them as of cer
tain odds and ends I came by in
the streets. ... If nobody dropped
out at the eighth grade, who would
hire the college graduates? . . . Am
bition beyond capacity is the first
American weakness. . . . The only
semblance of equality is found in
an insane asylum. There all are
treated alike; It is socialism in ac
tion. . . . One woman outlived three
husbands, each leaving her a for
tune. When she died, her money was
left to spread a screech from the
grave of man’s worthlessness. . . .
Huy at a second-hand book store
a few books of ‘deep thought1 In
which the former owner has marked
numerous passages. Leave them ly
ing about your room. The cham
bermaid will see them, and be awed
by your learning. She will tell the
neighbors; they will tell everybody.
. . . Judging a man by what he
reads is as wrong as to say he swal
lows all he smells. ... No man is a
complete failure until he delights
to think his virtue is what keeps
him poor.”
• * *
A man whose book was published
ns far back as 1826 says: ‘'Knowl
edge has put a stop to chivalry, as
she one day will to war." . . .
It is true certain absurd legislators,
riding horses and carrying lances,
were laughed oiT the field by Cer
vantes, but legislators of pen aud
honeyed word who ride the radio,
telegraph, moving picture and print
ed page, are far more numerous now
than In the days of “Don Quixote.”
The chivalry and gallantry laughed
at by Cervantes was a small mat
ter compared with the demagogues
whose knighthood Is flowering to
day. . . . The hope that we shall
finally get over our bad habits
seems to he badly founded. Mod
erns have mfled some of their own,
but I cannot see that they have
neglected any of the old.
• * •
There are so many colonels, maj
ors, captains, first and second lieu
tenants, sergeants and common sol
diers that I confess I prick up my
ears on hearing of an occasional
general.
“Gold Capital of World” Comes Back to Life
'T'HE historic mining town of Barkervllle, R. C., Is once again coming
Into Its own. In the “boom" days of the 1860s, when the placer gold
rush to the Cariboo area was at Its height, It wns known ns the gold
capital of the world, with n population once numbering ns high as
IS,000. Now It Is coming back to life again as the latest rush for lode
gold In the area la under way, and prospectors are crowding Into the
town that In late years has been nothing more than a ghost town with
a population of a few hundred. The photograph shows the main street.
£ BEDTIME STORY ^
HI By THORNTON W. BURGESS |||
▼ ___
JUMPING FOR LIFE
HAT a person can do well he
almost always enjoys doing.
Klmbleheels, own cousin to Danny
Meadowmouse, Is the very best
juniper on the green meadows, so
it is quite natural that lie should
enjoy Jumping, lie Jumped and he
Jumped for Peter Habhit's benefit.
Peter stole out from the dear old
Itrier Patch and sat up in the moon
light that he might watch Nimble
lieels better. Such Jumping Peter
had never seen before, mid both
he and Nimbleheels became so In
terested that they quite forgot that
i r '11 ill HW.tJil. Ll.i.iM
Hooty Struck With His Great Curved
Claws, but He Was Too Slow.
It is never safe to play In the Green
Meadows unless a sharp watch is
kept for danger.
Suddenly a shadow swept over
Peter. There wasn't a sound. Keen
as are Peter's long ears he heard
nothing. Luckily for him he was
sitting absolutely still at ttie time.
Had he moved the least tiny bit the
end of Peter would linve been right
then and there, for the shadow was
Hooty the Owl.
Nimbleheels was so intent on his
Jumping that he didn't see that
shadow at all until he shot up into
the air above the tops of the grasses
almost under Hooty. It Is a ques
tion which was the most surprised.
Nimbleheels or Hooty. Swiftly,
but without a sound, Hooty turned
in the air and Nimbleheels had no
more than disappeared in the grass
than Hooty was hovering right over
It, his great eyes piercing down
fiercely for a glimpse of the little
Mouse he knew must be hiding
among the grass stems right be
neath him.
Peter sat quite still with horror,
which was, perlinps, just as well for
Peter. Could it be that the little
Here’s a Hat Novelty
The blown-to-the-front movement
In crowns is developed by Molyneux
In tills polka-dotted alpaca straw,
one of the sensations of the season.
The collar set is made to match the
hat.
friend with whom he hnd become
so well acquainted was going to be
snatched away In the cruel claws of
Hooty right before his very eyes?
Could it be?
Suddenly Hooty screamed and at
the sound out from the grass shot
Nlmbleheels in the longest Jump
I’eter hnd yet seen him make,
llooty struck with Ills great curved
claws, but he was too slow. As be
fore, hardly had Nlmbleheels land
ed In the grass than Hooty was
hovering right over the very spot.
Nlmbleheels did not wait for him
to scream but was In the air in an
other long jump almost as soon as
lie reached the ground. This time
lie Jumped to the side Instead of
in the direction he had Jumped be
fore. Probably it was this that
saved liis life. Hooty was not ready
for him in that direction nnd so
he missed him again.
Then began the most exciting
game Peter had ever seen. At least
it seemed like a game. It wasn't, of
course, because both Nlmbleheels
and Hooty were very much in
earnest, the pretty little cousin of
nanny Meadow Mouse to save bis
life, nnd Hooty to get a good dinner.
Such Jumping! It made Peter
Rabbit ashamed to think that he
had ever bragged about his own
jumping. This way, that way, the
other way, darted Nlmbleheels over
the tops of tlie grasses, and wheel
ing nnd turning on noiseless wings
llooty the Owl followed, always Just
a wee second too late, ns he struck
Through «
WOMAN'S
EYES* NEWTON
A GOOD FORGETTERY
Itv OW, what was that name—I
^ ' knew it so well—oh, I don't
seem to be able to remember any
thing 1”
Constantly we hear that self re
proach. And when it comes from
people past the age of youth, It Is
usually coupled w ith a sad comment
on getting old. All because they
could not remember a name which
nine times out of ten there was no
point in remembering.
A well-known psychologist has
pointed out that forgetting is a no
less important function of the mind
than remembering.
The most active minds, and those
which produce what is most Impor
tant, must consciously or uncon
sciously select very carefully just
what It is worth while to remem
ber. And certainly they do not
choose to remember the names of
all the people with whom they cotne
In contact or all the places to which
they have gone. The llrst may be
mportant to the salesman to
whom the people are “prospects”;
the latter might be useful to one
who wants to talk about his or
her travels. In such cases there
are reasons for remembering—with
out which anyone Is foolish to wish
to so burden one’s mind.
Not only Is indiscriminate and
wholesale remembering unnecessary
In the uses of the mind, but it is
frequently a sign of a very narrow
mind. The person who has few in
teresting experiences is likely to
cling to them, remember every de
tail of them, and to bore ottiers by
repeating their history. And there
is no duller companion than the
woman whose memory Is so good
that she remembers unpleasant
tilings, which are much better for
gotten. Equally dull is the one
whose mind is so full of the things
nnd facts she remembers that
there is no space or energy for free
dom of flight In thought
In some cases a good forgettery Is
even better than a good memory!
®. Bell Syndicate.—WNU Service. |
I ^gp.l0GP I
“With a gold digger it’s differ
ent,” says catty Katie. “She starts
cooing buy-buy to the boy friend j
when they meet."
©. Bell Syndicate.—WNU Service.
savagely with his great cruel-look
ing claws.
I’eter wanted to shout to N’imble
heels and tell him to make for the
dear Old ISrier Patch, but even if
he could have he wouldn’t have
dared, for he knew only too well
that Hoot.v wouldn't think twice of
a little jumping mouse if he had a
chance for a rabbit dinner. So there
was nothing for Peter to do but to
sit there and hope and hope with
all his trTlght that Nlmbleheels
would escape, and that flooty would
get far enough away to give him,
Peter, a chance to bolt for the
safety of Ills home.
It seemed to Peter that Nlmble
heels was making shorter Jumps.
Was lie getting too tired to Jump?
If so, the end would come soon.
I’eter held Ills breath.
©. T W. Burgess.—WNU Service.
1 IP A IP A lHI\OW§—|
"Pop, what is economies?”
"Playing marbles.”
©. tlcll Syndicate. —WNU Service.
Moth* and Butterflies
There are about 8,8oO species of
moths and 050 species of butterflies
to he found in North Amerien, says
National Geographic .Magazine, and
of these very few of the butterflies
and less than 100 of the moths need
be classed as pests.
HOW TO USE CODFISH
WHEN ono rnn think of noth
ing else for luncheon or din
ner n box of firm white suited cod
fish Is the answer. The chowder is
the dish par excellence. Here It
goes again, for there arc always n
few who haven't tried It:
Codfish Chowder.
Soak n half pound of codfish In
water for a few minutes, then sim
mer for ten. Praia nnd flake into
good sized pieces—say a mouthful
size. Put to cook a cup of finely
cut salt pork cut Into fourth-inch
cubes; when the pork cubes are
well browned add three onions
sliced, stir and cook for a few min
utes In the hot fat, then add one
half dozen medium-sized potatoes
cut Into small slices, cover with
boiling water—a quart will lie plen
ty. Cook until the vegetables are
well-rooked, then add the codfish
nnd one quart of fresh milk; bring
to the boiling point, add more sea
soning if needed nnd serve piping
hot with n milk cracker or two
softoned In boiling water for each
bowl of the chowder.
Codfish Creole.
Cook one green pepper nnd one
onion, both minced in two table
spoons of bacon fat or three table
spoons of butter, add one tablespoon
of plmiento chopped., one fourth tea
spoon of pepper, three fourths clip
of elant broth, one cup of hot milk
BONERS
Fnrnu'rs rotate their crops so
that they may get sun on all shies.
BONERS are actual humorous
tid-bits found in examination pa
pers, essays, etc., by teachers.
Corn products are corn meal, corn
sirup and corn beef.
• • •
A king who does everything he
says he will Is an absolute monkey.
• • •
The first governor of Massachu
setts was Mr. Salem Witchcraft.
* » •
A sextant Is a man who buries
you at sea.
• • •
Savages are people who don’t
Highest of Air Radio Stations
T AN altitude of 7,200 feet, at Suumiitt, Calif., where the Lincoln
highway crosses the Sierra Nevada mountains, is the highest man
operated air radio station in the West. Here six men are on 24-hour
duty sending out signals and weather reports to the trans-continental
air liners on what Is one of the most treacherous stretches of the nlrwny
system. On nccount of heavy winds the building is held down with steel
cables.
and one-eighth teaspoon of soda.
Add two cups of flaked codtisli and
cook until well heated through.
Serve hot with a border of seasoned
hot rice.
Dutch Cod.
Take two tablespoons of diced
bacon, cook live minutes, add ono
fourtli cup'of hot water, one-eighth
teaspoon of pepper, four cups of
chopped cabbage, cook until tender,
then add two cups of linked fish
and serve very hot on a platter
garnished with toast poiuts and
bacon curls.
© bv Western Newspnpfr Union.
The Didache Document
The Didache, an ancient Chris
tian document, written In Greek, ex
plained the organization, belief and
worship of the early church. It tvas
found In 1S73 In the Monastery of
the Holy Sepulcher, In Istanbul,
and published ten years Inter. It
contains the "two ways,” one of
life, the other of death, in the form
of rules for Christian conduct. The
word means “teaching," and there
Is evidence that It was used In in
struction to prepare converts for
baptism. It also sets forth the rites
of baptism, ttie Lord's supper and
the oftice ami duties of Cliristinn
leaders.
Then it Snowed Some More
know what wrong is until mission
aries show them.
» « *
Describe the sacking of Rome.
The Gauls put the Romans in
sacks and carried them away.
• * *
The famous "Rough Rider" was
Paul Revere.
®, Bell Syndicate.— WNU Service.
t ^oYou Know—
L+hat in the early days in I
the American colonies—es—
pecially in New England—
profanity was punished by
pinching the offender’s
tongue in a split stick.
Drunkards were also made
to wear a red letter D sus
pended about their necks.
I OMtOm Nprw-Sagg!!;
WNU Service.
- -o - - —_
Lois Lost Her Dog!
By ANNE CAMPBELL
UOW to picture happiness?
n Only I.ols claims
Happiness can run and play
Tag and other games!
Once Its Image was obscured
In a gloomy fog.
That wns yesterday, before
Lois lost her dog 1
If he would come back ngnln
Unpplness would run
On four Joyous doggy feet
Through the summer sun!
Who can picture happiness? . .
. . . Lois, I suppose!
She says Joy Is just a dog
With a soft cold nose!
Copyright.-—WNU Service.
Good Taste Today
By EMILY POST
Author of
••ETIQUETTE” “THE BLUE
BOOK OF SOCIAL USAGE." Etc.
MISCELLANEOUS
DEAR Mrs. Post: My young son
gesticulates with his knife and
fork at table. This habit upsets
me terribly but I can't seem to
break him of It. Can you suggest
auy way I
Answer: Would he mind If he
■aw you do It? If he would, you
might copy hint—especially If a
friend of his Is present. If he does
not care, then you will either have
to deprive him of some stnnll priv
ileges or (and In my opinion better)
let him earn a privilege or an award
by marks of excellence; 100 meals
without doing It once, for Instance,
would earn something he wants.
My dear Mrs. Post: Are cards re
moved from funeral flowers before
the flowers are arranged? Or nre
the names simply written down for
a record to use In writing thank
you notes?
Answer: They nre taken off and a
description of the flowers written
on the back of each card, for future
thanks.
* * •
Dear Mrs. Post: I have a new
daughter just three days old. My
hushnnd was killed two months ago.
Under these tragic circumstances
shall I announce my baby's birth by
sending out cards as we would hnve
done, or do I simply do nothing
about It at all? If any announce
ment were sent to the newspaper,
how would It be worded?
Answer: Sending announcements
of a child’s birth is entirely a mat
ter of personal inclination. In your
case It would be best to telephone
or write to your Intimate friends;
they In turn tell others. I moan,
of course, that a member of your
family will do tills for you. To
send a baby card tied to your own
black bordered one would empha
size the tragedy very painfully. I
wouldn’t do It If I were you. The
announcement In the newspaper
would read: ‘‘Daughter of Mrs. John
Jones and the late Mr. Jones."
* • •
Dear Mrs. 1’ost: When my hus
band and I happen to be In the
room, should we shake hands when
a boy friend of m.v younger sister
leaves after having spent the eve
ning In our house? This sister lives
with us.
Answer: If your sister’s friend Is
a regular visitor, you would prob
ably look up and, without paying
particular attention, say, "Good
night, Tom!" If he Is a stranger,
or some one who does not come to
the house often, your natural Im
pulse would be to shake hands with
him when he leaves.
DINING SERVICE
D'.AU Mrs. Post: While dining In
the house of a stranger the
other night I noticed that her
waitress brought in a dessert plate
with a fine lace dolly on It and on
top of that a finger bowl. The sil
ver for dessert was already at the
places. 1 had never had a finger
bowl brought In just this way. My
hostess removed It and the doily
from the dessert plate and put the
bowl down on the dolly at the left
to the back of the dessert plate.
The dessert was a rich fudge cake,
which would have soiled the dolly
miserably. Is It correct to let a
doily tnke the place of a plate which
matches the finger bowl and which
stands on top of the dessert plate
usually without any dolly between
them?
Answer: I don’t think I under
stand your question. I don’t see
how the cake could possibly come
in contnct with the dolly. Dollies
are not often used, but when they
are, you pick yours up with the
finger bowl and put both down to
gether on the tablecloth where there
is space. Then you put whatever It
may be on the plate. You certainly
would not put food on the dolly,
ever!
• • •
My dear Mrs. Post: (1) How does
one remove watermelon seeds from
tHU mouth at table? (2) A friend
told me that tablespoons are not
the real serving spoons. I have al
wnys used them as such, which
must be wrong. (3) Is It ever all
right to eat peas with a spoon. In
ease, or must they be Juggled with
a fork? (4) Are little side dishes
always tabu? (5) In a restaurant,
when foods are sometimes served In
separate dishes. Is It correct to eat
them directly from the serving dish
or should all food be put from there
over on the dinner plate?
Answer: (1) Remove all that
you can with the fruit knife and
fork, before lifting a piece to the
mouth, and any seeds left in the
fruit are removed between thumb
and finger, or dropped Into the
cupped hand. They are In either
case dried as completely as pos
sible with tongue and between lips.
(2) There are slightly larger spoons
used for serving, but tablespoons
answer perfectly. (3) Spoon abso
lutely tabu. Mash them slightly
with the fork, If you must. But I
can’t see that there Is any diffi
culty ever. (4) Correctly, yes. (5)
You should put them on your plate,
but there Is no rule because con
ventionally side dishes are not used.
• bo BmlUr Post.—WNU Servlc*.