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Published every Saturday at Kodiak, Alaska
Yearly Subscription Rate $7.00
Second Class mail privileges authorized at Kodiak, Alaska
Send notices of undeliverable copies to:
THE ISLAND PUBLISHING COMPANY
Box 1307, Kodiak, Alaska
Sig J. Digree, Editor and Publisher
Betha Digree, Executive Secretary
MEMBER OF ASSOCIATED PRESS
The Associated Press is exclusively entitled to the use or republics
of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in
him paper and also the local news published herein.
Mirrored Reflections...
By SIG DIGREE
A Rigged Quiz
The reprint appearing below is
from the Bt»b‘ County New* in
Wisconsin, but strikes a familiar
note in the experiences of most
editors. We are grateful to one of
our readers tor sending it in.
We pre constantly being bom
barded .with queries rather point
edly designed to indicate that (1)
the editor is a nut, and (2) The
News sure cotrid use some im
r-'O' 'ment.
<o with nothin? better to do, we
have undertaken to answer a few
of these questions this week. A-one,
a-two and here we go:
Q. Why don't you print in color,
say red, once in a while?
A. Our supply of red ink is
used in the bookkeeping depart
ment.
Q. Why don’t you have funny
papers?
A. We think we have the funni
est pat>er in Wisconsin right now.
Q. Why donft you have an “Ad
vice to the Lovelorn” column, like
Ann ganders?
A. None of our readers has any
such problems.
Q. Why don’t you publish a pin
»p picture once in n while?
A. We ran our own picture a
couple of years ago and nobody
asked for reprints.
Q. Why do you have all those
misprints?
A. They’re the most entertain
ing part of the whole paper.
Q. Why do you always say “we”
when referring to youself in the
paper.?
A. We want our readers to
think they are outnumbered.
Q. Why do you make so many
grammatical mistakes?
A. Cause we ain’t never learned
no better.
Q. Why didn’t you publish that
poem I sent you?
A. It was a lou$y poem.
Q. What do you do with ail your
money?
A. We squander it on frivolities
like food and clothing.
Q. Why don’t you put out a big
ger paper like the Milwaukee
Journal?
A. We plan on it as soon as the
population of Ladysmith equals
that'of Milwaukee.
Q. What’s the reason you don’t
replace that linotype you’re al
ways'complaining aibout?
A.'V$000.
Q. Why don’t you run recipes?
A. We did and left a line out.
Twenty people got sick and can*
celled their subscriptions.
Q. What would you give me for
writing a weekly co’umn of moral
'omerpun philosophy for The
Mews?
A. A poke in the eye with a
nharjJrt'ck.
Q. l ast week I brought you a
detailed obituarv about Homer in
California. You only printed one
short paragraph and you stuck it
on the bottom of an inside page.
How come?
A. Uncle Homer hadn’t visited
Ladysmith since the spring of ’06.
Nobody but you ever heard of
Uncle Homer Uncle Homer had
been dead eignt weeks when you
brought the obituary in. The main
reason we cut the length of it was
that we lacked the courage to
throw ALL of it in wastebasket.
Q. How come you’re such a
ierk?
A. Just lucky, I guess.
Q. How come you write so much
about your kids?
A. They’re defenseless children.
Q. Why don’t you write an edi
torial and tell those guys on the
city council what they can do to
improve the town?
A. Why don’t you go down to
the next meeting and tell ’em
yourself?
Q. Why. don’t you print more
letters to the editor?
A. Why don’t you write me one?
And sign it with your name,
please—don't be chicken.
Q. Why didn’t you print the
little item I sent you that “Joe
Blank spent last week as a guest
The Tunifi Soul a wk*ste* classic
I Hm/ it’s WANHW&
A COUPL6 OF SeccVMDS
lb six o'clock.
Guess i'll Put iaj
MY Micxec AMO
B£ SAFF
l-*
1Tve SIGAJ FfEADS —
i ‘free r^akins
I AFTTER 6 RA*
Mrs: Sy’bers'^.iTiat
'lioulda b$eh a' good joke on Joe.
Ha ha ha’ Everybody knew he was
in jail.
Q. Your paper’s got too much
advertising. How come?
A. Get outa here, ya bum.
A. Little envelopes with win
dows in them.
Q. Why don’t you give proper
credit when you “borrow” an idea
from another paper? (This came
from Bob Wright, of the Montello,
Wis., Tribune, from whom we lift
ed this series).
A. And disillusion our readers.
Q. Why don’t we go have a cup
of coffee?
A. Why not?
* • *
Of all the mothers who will be
taking bows May 8th, none has
shown more stamina than the
little old lady who has been put
ting children to sleep for more
than 200 years.
But Mother Goose may have had
more on her mind than nonsense
rhymes. In fact, she may have
been taking pot shots at some of
the key figures of her day.
“Rock-a-bye baby on the tree
top” sounds harmless enough. But
the luMalby—popular during the
time of James I of England—might
have been a iokjng reference to
James’ shakv hold on his throne.
World Book Encyclopedia rug.
gests that the little boy who rat
in a corner eating his Christmas
pie was reallv an English steward
sent to London with a pie for the
king. In the days of Henry VIII.
.important oapers often were baked
in pies, and this particular one
supposedly contained title deeds
for several English estates. The
greedy Jark Horner, however, stole
the king’s “plum”—the deed to an
estate that had once belonged to
the Church of England.
Humpty Dumoty may have been
Richard ITI. The de'ormed villain
seized the throne of England :n
1483 after imorsoning his 12-year
old nephew, the rightful king, in
the Tower of London. Two years
later he was killed in the battle
of Bosworth Field, and “all the
king’s horses and all the king’s
men couldn’t put Humpty together
again.”
All was not “pudding and pie”
for George I. wnose German back
ground and tastes disturbed his
British subjects. Perhaps they
were expressing their resentment
—and pointing to his behavior at
court—when they chanted:
“Georgey Poregy, pudding and
pie, •
Kissed the girls and made them
cry;
When the boys came out to play,
Georgey Poregy ran awayf”
Civic Calendar
All items for this column must
be in the Mirror office not later
than Wednesday evening of the
week of publication.
Saturday: Boy Scouts Camp Out;
Bantam League bowling, 2nd
place team playoff, 8:30 am.;
Junior bowling, 9:30 a.m. till 2
p.m.; Girl Scouts Troop 22, 3:00
p.m.
Sunday: Boy Scout Camp Out;
work party at Little League
baseball field, 1 p.m.
Monday: Cub Scout Den 2 & 3,
4 p.m.; Girl Scouts Troop 9, 4:15
p.m.; Girl Scouts Troop 10, 7:00
p.m.; Town Teen Club, 7:30 p.m.
Tuesday: Boy Scouts, 6:30 p.m.;
Girl Scouts Troo>ps 8 & 16, 4:00
p.m.
Wednesday: Cub Scouts Dens 4, 5,
6, 7, 4 p.m.; Girl Scouts Troop
21, 4 p.m.; Rainbow Girls, 7 p.m.
A film entitled “Party Line" is
being shown Saturday at the Or
pheum Theitre. It is sponsored by
telephone companies throughout
the nation, and is recommended
for all to see, especially children
POLLY JAC PEEEY
Above is pictured attractive contestant for Queen of the King Cnfe
Festival, Poily Jac Perry. Miss Perry is sponsored Jointly by the CPQ
and EM Clubs on the Naval Station.
Five Leave For Navy League Convention
Five members of the newly formed Kodiak Chapter of the Navy
League will leave Monday for Anaheim, California, where they wJH
participate in a three day convention of that group. The convention
Will be held in Disneyland.
Dr. A. Holmes Johnson, president of the Kodiak Chapter, will head the
delegation from here. He will be accompanied by Lou Veer man.
Secretary-treasurer of the Chapter, and members Merrill Coon, End
Knudsen and Jack HinckeL
Jack Anderson, regional president of the Alaska Navy League pre
sents the Kodiak Chapter’s newly elected president, Dr. A. Holmes
Johnson, with the Chapter’s charter, .at ceremonies held at the bomi
luncheon in the 49 Room, March 27. Looking on is Mayor of Kodiak
Merrill Coon.
LET’S FACE IT!
No one ever found a pot of gold at the end of
the rainbow unless he put it there himself.
. \
Even today, there is still no substitute for
old-fashioned thrift . . . the sure way to get
what you want by saving.
Kodiak Branch
NATIONAL BANK OF ALASKA
Member, Federal Reserve System & FMC