Howe About:
He Quit Smoking
Satisfaction
Hidden Treasure
©. 193*. Bell Syndicate.—WfJTt Servlea.
By ED HOWE
WHEN n boy I lived iu Salt
Lake City, and one of the
points of interest was Lion House,
where Brigham Young wrangled
with twenty wives. Lion House Is
now a social center, where seven
teen capable Instructors teach lit
erature, art, home economics, one
wife at a time, etc. This social cen
ter is sponsored by the Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,
ns is also a very creditable month
ly magazine called the Improvement
Era. ... In which I rend that one
day a man called on the good Doc
tor Kellogg of Hattie Creek, when
the following conversation took
place: “I am sixty-five years old,
and doctors tell me I have only a
year to live. What do you think
about It?” "What's your name?"
“Charles S. Keene.” "What do
you do?” “I'm vice president of
the American Tobacco company."
“Smoke?” "Yes; ten or twelve cigars
a day." "Well, quit that, and I'll
promise you three or four years
longer." (Mr. Keene quit, and
lived twenty years; Is now, in fnct,
a nuisance to his friends begging
them to quit smoking.)
• • •
I met nn angry, disheveled man
today, and asked: "What’* the trou
ble?" He replied; "I’m not being
treated right: I’m not satisfied."
And I said: "I have never known
anyone who was satisfied; you are
no exception. Calm down; yon are
neglecting your work to express In
dignation, In addition to bothering
others." I do not visit graveyards,
except to attend funerals of spe
cial friends, hut 1 should like to see
there finally a tombstone bearing
this Inscription, ns representing the
man buried: "In Memory of a Man
Who Is Satisfied"—I am almost
satisfied at eighty; I hope to be
entirely so within a few years. I've
had my chance at the best there Is
In the best country in the world; in
the most modern civilization. And
I am not as tired of natural tasks
ns I am of the excited arguments
of foolish men unreasonably dissat
isfied.
• » •
Captain Kidd was a pirate, and
worked so steadily at Ids trade
It Is believed he bad no time left
for wine, women and song, and
therefore burled his treasure.
Lately the searchers for burled
treasure have been encouraged; a
pot of buried money was actually
found In a Texas cotton field, put
there by a kidnaper; so another
boom In seeking treasure Is on.
Where did Samuel Insull, Ivor Kru
ger, bury their Ill-gotten gains?
One pot of gold found In some
hundreds of years of search (and
that containing only a few hundred
dollars) Is not much encourage
ment for burled-trensure workers.
Thieves at the end of their lives
are nearly always poor; they have
no treasure to bury. Only honest,
cnpalde and Industrious men are
able to maintain strong boxes.
• • •
I have long regarded Will Rogers
as a good deal more of a philoso
pher than a comedian: at present,
he Is the only writer widely read
who has common sense. Nicholas
Murray Ilutler Is equally wise, but
has no circulation; his writing
appears only In privately circulated
pamphlets. The present circulars
sent out by banks, railroads, com
mercial clubs and business firms
might ns well not he Issued at all;
the masses only read newspapers.
. . . The conservatives make a
mistake in not buying space in all
the newspapers, frankly labeling It
advertising, and pleading dally for
common sense in public affairs. The
conservatives have a strong case,
and plenty of men able to present
It effectively, but for some strange
reason refuse to go to the newspa
pers for n hearing. The cost would
lie much less than the present plan
of every Indignant man Issuing his
own circular. There nre plenty of
conservatives to appeal to, but
they read nothing but gross radi
calism.
* • •
A correspondent writes so well
and Is so unfnlr, mistaken and sen
timental, I believe him to be a
preacher. He says: “Tour philos
ophy that to succeed In material
things, regardless of duty to those
less fortunate, and the hope of some
of us that we may contribute
something of lasting value to pos
terity, brought about the present
fearful world failure." . . . This
quotation displays the unfairness
T charge, for never In my life have
I taught that one should live re
gardless of duty to others, or neg
lect to contribute something of
lasting value to posterity. Indeed.
I have specially recommended these
virtues; to practice them Is the
heart of the doctrine of simple be
haviorism.
• * •
We hear of the Forgotten Man.
If there was but one, he could be
easily relieved, but there are mil
lions of them; every man who does
not hold a public Job of one kind or
another has been forgotten. A few
thousand are appointed to new pub
lic Jobs daily, but it Is only a drop
in the bucket.
•Hedtime STORE'S
^5By THORNTON W. BURGESS'
BUSTER BEAR IS PIGGISH
VTOW. wouldn’t yon suppose that
l ’ when there Is plenty for every
body, everybody would be content
ed and happy? Hut, often, alto
gether too often, It Isn’t so at all.
The more folks have, the more they
want. And there are other folks
who, no matler how much they
have, seem to think that others may
be having something better, and In
stead of making the most of what
they have, go about trying to get
what their ueighbors have.
It seemed. It really did. that there
I
"These Nuts Are Mine, All Mine,”
He Roared.
were enough of those queer three
sided little brown nuts under the
beech tree for everybody to have all
be could eat, and that beach-nut pic
nic that beautiful October morning
should be the merriest, happiest
kind of a picnic. But it wasn't No.
sir, it wasn't. The reason was the
piggishness of Buster Bear.
When Buster arrived under the j
beech trees and saw so many others
gathered there for the very same
purpose that had brought him there,
he right away let selfishness ge;
the best of him. He was greedy, was
Buster Bear. He was so greedy
that he couldn’t bear to see anyone
else get a single one of those little
brown sweet nuts, although he knew
well enough that he couldn't eat all
of them to save his life. Right
away he began to growl, and you
know his growl Is deep and
gruinbly-rumbly and not at all
pleasant to hear.
Those who were nearest him
moved off a little further, but went
right on picking up those brown,
sweet little nuts. Buster Bear
growled more and his growl was
deeper and more grumbly-rumbly.
All the other little people looked at
him anxiously, but kept right on
hunting for those brown sweet little
nuts. Then Buster Bear quite lost
his temper.
"These nuts ore mine, all mine,"
he roared.
Then he ran at Lightfoot the
Deer. Lightfoot bounded away, but
not far. He knew that Buster
Bear could not catch him, and he
had no mind to leave those guts.
WITTY KITTY
By NINA WILCOX PUTNAM
The Girl-Friend says she used to
tell her husband everything that
happened, and now she tells him a
lot of things that never happened.
©. Bell Syndicate.— WNU Service.
The Silvery Y ears
By ALICE CAMPBELL
NJW we have come to the silvery
years,
Sliver with vanished hopes, silver
with tears.
Silver with promises of silver
dawns,
When Death's silver chessmen take
Lite’s silver pawns.
Now we have come to the silvery
years,
Sliver my tresses, and sliver ap
pears
Stealing the brown of your own
pretty hair;
The silver of winter Is shimmering
there.
Now we hnve come to the silvery
years.
The journey Is ending, the shad
owed path clears,
And over the top of the silvery hill
The bright silver moon of our love
rises still I
Copyright.—WNU Service.
Then Buster rushed at the Gobtder
family and all the Gobblers scur
ried away, each In- a different dl
rectlon, but they didn’t go far. Then
Buster rushed tills way and rushed
that way wherever he saw anyone
picking up nuts.
Mrs. Grouse merely darted behind
a fallen tree and the minute Bus
ter's back was turned she was
scratching over leaves In search of
nuts again. Sammy Jay and Red
head the Woodpecker merely flew
up in a tree. Chatterer the Red
Squirrel and Happy Jack the Gray
Squirrel and Unc' Billy and Mrs
Possum climbed the nearest trees.
But they were back on the ground
again as soon ns Buster had turned
away.
Peter Rabbit, who was hiding
near to see all that went on, had to
laugh. He couldn't help It. There
was great big Buster Bear so pig
gish that he wanted all, yet get
ting hardly a taste because he was
spending his time chasing his neigh
bors. It often Is that way with
piggish people. In trying to get
more than their share they fall to
get what they might have ns well
as not
©. T W. Burgess.—YVNU Service.
FRENCH PASTRIES
T'UE french pastry which we all
* admire so much and pay such
prices for. may be made at home
at little expense, and be just as at
tractive as one has time and taste
to give it
Cake Pastry Foundation.
Take three eggs well beaten in a
bowl, set over hot water and beat
“Ashtray” Ensemble
■■Ashtruy" is u fitting uniiie for
this amusing dinner ensemble In
periwinkle blue ribbed crepe, for Its
huge buttons are detachable and
may be used as ashtrays. Insuring
popularity for Its wearer.
lightly, add one-half cupful of sugar
and beat until the mixture becomes
fluffy, then add one-third of a cup
ful of melted butter, three-fourths
cup of pastry flour sifted with one
half teaspoonful of baking powder.
Mix well, add vanilla or other fla
voring. Itake In a sheet ant! cut
into shapes while warm.
Neapolitan Squares.
Cut the above cake Into two-inch
squares. Spread half the squares
with apricot Jam. currant Jelly, or
nnge marmalade, or any cake filling
one likes. Cover with the other
squares and press together between j
American and British Motorized Trains
HEIIE are three types ot the motor
Ized trains that are fast coming
into use. At the upper left Is the
Texas and Pacific two-car trnln run
ning dally between Fort Worth and
Texarkana, Texns. It Is equipped
with two twelve cylinder motors burn
ng gasoline. In the middle Is Britain's
irst streamlined railroad car, run by
he Great Western railway, with a 130
torse power motor burning oil. At the
•Ight Is the Burlington Zephyr, with a
000 horse power Diesel engine motor.
Stadium for 1936 Olympic Games
WedlNElt MAHL'H. architect ot the stadium to be built lu Berlin for
the Olympic Games of 11*36. is here seen with Ids model of the
structures to he erected. Work on them Is to begin In a month or two,
the plans having been approved by Chancellor Hitler.
boards until flrml.v Joined. Now
spread the sides with Jelly beaten
to a paste with n few drops of wa
ter and dip each In coconut finely
chopped. Ice the tops with a thick
chocolate Icing and In the center
place a halved marnschlno cherry
cut-side down; nild stem and leaves
of citron or a white or green Icing
Almond Slices.
Spread the entire sheet of cake
with a tart Jelly or Jam beaten to
a paste. Now cut into strips three
or four Inches long and one and one
half Inches wide, spread the sides
with Jelly. Top each with a heavy
meringue using two egg whites and
eight tablespoons of granulated
sugar, one-fourth teaspoonful of
almond extract. Arrange over the
top with a pastry tube, sprinkle
with powdered sugar and top with
shredded nlmonds. Place In a slow
oven and hrown lightly.
© by Western Newspaper Union.
THROUGH A
Womans Eyes
By JEAN NEWTON
ON “THE GOOD OLD
DAYS”
* IT IS the Thursday Lecture; In
* one sense, a day of public
shame; the day on which trans
gressors who have made themselves
liable to the minor severities of
the Puritan law, receive their pun
Ishment. At this moment the con
stable has bound an Idle fellow to
Rm«ofiP i
"If we listened to what the men
say," says ironic Irene, "they would
have us believing that the only time
a woman keeps her mouth dosed is
when she is under water.”
©. B^ll Syndicate.— WNU Service.
the whipping post and Is giving him
tiis deserts with a cat-o’-nlne-talls.
“Ever since sunrise Daniel Fair
field has been standing on the steps
of the meeting-house with a halter
about Ids neck, which he Is con
demned to wear visibly throughout
his lifetime.”
That Is a “bit" from one of Na
thaniel Hawthorne's sketches of
life In old New England, lie goes
on to describe an nged couple, John
Proctor and his wife, Elizabeth,
passing. In a company of other con
deini ed prisoners, on their way to
the execution place on Gallows Hill.
"If there are two old people In the
whole country,” he says, “who seem
to have led a true Christian life. It
is this very pair. Vet It was sworn
before the worshipful chief Justice
that they affrighted chltlren In the
nighttime." So to the gallows the
good old couple go.
If you know anyone who casts a
longing eye on romantic pictures of
former times, who thinks we are un
fortunate to be living In this day
and age—anyone who decries mod
ern times as giving less opportunity
for happiness than “the good old
days" of some period In the past—
tell him or her to read up on the
life of that period, not In dry history
The Strong Arm of the Government
m
books, hut in such pictures of daily
living ns these sketches by Haw
thorne.
The I’uritans, of course, had a tal
ent for inaking n special kind of
hell on earth for themselves and
__•» ■ : •
each other. Hut take any age it
the past and familiarize yoursel)
with the (letnilg of dally living anc
then you are bound to otter up c
fervent prayer of thankfulness'foi
having been born when you were.
For women particularly the’raos
glamorous times in the past woult
make a very poor exchange. , li ,
times and places where men wen
not engaged in making living dltfl
cult for each other they '■’t'ertfllMy*
made no effort to mi^e,.,H en*v..‘l*|
women. Compare this day of eman
clpntlon for women of all classei
and tell me—would you swap If foi
any other? ,,,, • i_ *
©. Bell Syndicate.—WNU Service.
] You Know—
* 4*AHAlMr»'|
_February, is so named.
because the Romans cele
brated Februa, a festiyal of ,
purification and expiation
on the 15th of the month,
for the manes df'thr? cleady
This month, together with
January was added to the
year by Numa, about 713
B. C. ciuam miiTni/ ijj—t“ •*
WNU8'f^ft.a.r i-'
ftONERS
A pedagogue Is an animal with
large ears.
BONERS are actual humorous
tid-bits found in examination ca
pers, essays, etc., by teachers.
Linear expansion Is Illustrated
by the days getting longer when the
weather gets warmer.
• • •
Lightning was Invented an'd. de-'
sloped by Benjamin Franklin.
• • •
The first wheat was discovered In
Egyptian mummies.
• « •
Like magnetic poles bit each
other.
• • •
Spnce from which all matter has
been removed Is called heaven.
• • •
Heresy Is where a child looks like
his father.
• • •
John Smith was a brare man, he
married Pocahontas.
& Bell Syndicate.— WNU Service.
IPAIPA KNOWS-!'
.
"Pop, what Is oblivion?” .
"River’s end.”
©. Bell Syndicate.— WNU Service.
Good Taste Today
By EMILY POST
Author of
•■ETIQUETTE," “THE BLUE
BOOK OF SOCIAL USAGE,” Etc.
VALUES FAR ABOVE MONEY
l~\RAR Mrs. Post: We are Invited
out a great deal, and why, I
don’t know, because we have so far
not been able to return anything.
We do send candy, or sometimes
(lowers, and a book to people we
know like these particular things,
but outside of that we can't return
their dinners, week-end and theater
Invitations. Ought we to stop ac
cepting these? Oh, If only we had
more money 1
Answer: One need never return
Invitation for Invitation. The only
thing that matters Is to show our
appreciation of the kindness shown
us In the best wny we.con. In other
words, by the book, candy, flowers,
or by things costing time and
thought and heart, which are often
more valuable than things costing
merely money. Nor is It at all nec
essary to feel that you are unable
to give a party. Remember thnt a
young couple living In a single room,
which has a folding sofa-bed, so
that the room can be made Into the
semblance of a sitting room, can
perfectly well ask friends they care
for (after all, others are of small
Importance) to come to their "home
ln-a-room.”
mien people uo tilings wltn mod
est hospitality, and fall. It Is not
because of their stinted means, but
because they entirely overlook the
fundamental fact that the success
of a party Is far more dependent upon
the spirit of hospitality—actually
the spirit of friendliness—than
It Is upon lavlshneks of provision.
Would you know the real secret
of successful party-giving? It has
not a thing In the world to do with
money. It Is simply the gift of
never outgroWlng a child's imag
ination. In other words, the spirit
of "let’s pretend” that enters Into
the play of all children.
Unless you can enter Into the
spirit of this hospitality, unless you
can delight to have the friends you
like share your festival, your party
—even though It be given In a pal
ace with rows of lackeys and a
ton of choicest viands—will be but
a heavy procession of over-rlchly
laden minutes. Whereas, If the en
thusiasm of your welcome springs
from Innate friendliness—from Joy
In furthering the delight of good
fellowship beneath your own roof—
you need never doubt that those
who have accepted your hospitality
oqce will not eagerly look forward
to doing so again and again.
TWENTIETH CENTURY
CHANGES
DEAR Mrs. Post: Please go Into
. detail about the etiquette of
present-day card leaving. I am of
the DO's, when the convention was
Strictly adhered to, but people are
getting so casual about cards and
visits thnt I am not sure how much
of their old meaning may still ex
ist without .“dating" us.
Answer: Going out In the after
noon, as we used to do, and leav
ing cards at two or three dozen front
doors without even asking whether
any of those on whom we were leav
ing them were at home. Is at pres
ent totally unknown to everyone on
the hither side of fifty. Few people
even pay party calls except after a
first invitation from strangers—and
only the rather precisely brought
up pay these. There are many oc
casions, however, when cards must
still be left., First of all, a card
of-sympathy Is left at a house of
mourning; a card of Inquiry at a
house where there Is serious Illness.
And of 'eAutse, people go to see
neighbors and friends, nnd If they
find them out, they necessarily leave
tfielr cards. Formally, and on
strangers, a lady leaves one card
of her own and one of her hus
bands, on eqch ^entlemnn—Just as
we used to do. Rut going to see
friends; one usually leaves Just one
■card of one’s own—nnd only when
they are out. Perhaps I can make
my answer clearest by saying that
Danis'of empty‘form would “date”
iWojnmlStakaWy.-*nd would be
thought absurd,by all younger peo
ple. Rut7 ail cards that have real
Intention of friendship, or kindli
ness: are used today.'Just ns they al
ways, ha vqheen.
• • •
' ’DOar Mrs. Post: 'My sixteen-j’enr
old daughter would like to entertain
about four couples of her own age.
They don't play cfirds (or most of
ittiem don’t) and-.onr house Is too
small to.dance. Could my husband
and I take them all somewhere, and
Would it be embarrassing for the
troys t» let us pay "all the expenses?
Or. don't girls Invite boys to go out
with them .even under those cir
cumstances?
■VnSwet-: Certainly your daughter
mjvy4jglye p party—as many as yon
ace willing to let her give—and
nothing' coutif be more proper than
to have you and her father take her
and her friends somewhere. A host
ess as well as a host should always
(Jhy ftie expenses of the guests whom
they have Invited.
© by Efn(ljr P(y*t.—WNU Service.
! ' '>* Program Music
The term program music Is ap
plied to purely Instrumental works
which’ are-intended to reproduce by
musical ton.es. a series of definite
ldeps or events.