Sense And
Nonsense
A B:rra',ngham mat), tells of a re
c nt <-xperience while mo
lustratiug ih-^ sarcasm which a wo
man is c«pa le of whe.i the ocea
sion demands.
“\V» were going at an awful
sp<eu” he said. ‘‘I didn't see the
dog, but I t eard hie ki-vi, so I or
derei the uh ff ur to stop. Going
hack, we found an irate lady stand
jug over her dead dog—one of the
yglfest do^g you ever raw. Shetnet
us w th a tiraoe of remarks, telling
us in no uncertain terms what she
thought of ueand moturis'S in gen
eral, finishing up by calling Us the
murderers ot i.cr doe. It was then
that I thought I w.uld pacify her.
‘Madam,’ I said, ‘I will replace
vour dog.’ ‘Sir,’ eho sai l in a
freezing tone of voice, ‘You flatter
jounelf.
An Irish soldier was crossing a
barrack square with a pail in
which he t\as going to get some
water.
A. sergeant pasting at the time,
notieed that Pat had a very disrepu
lablia looking pair of trousers on,
and wishing ta make a aeport, stop
ped the man and asked:
“Where are von going?’’
“To get some water.”
“What! In those tiovssrs.”
“Use, srrgeantin the pad.”
( —,
“Professor, I know mv boy is ra
t-fier slow,but in the two years you
have had charge of hie education he
must have developed a tendency in
tome direction or other. Whatoo
cuoation doysu suggest as a possi
ble outlet for his entrgie*, sueh as
Vhey are,”
“Well, tir, I think heis-admira
bly fitted fer takiag meving pic
turns of a glacier.”
‘I’m afraidf’ said a Will known
politician, when th* cabbage
came within an inch
of hi* nose, “that somebody in the
audience has lest hia- head.
As Seen By
Englishmen
A Suffraeette t» a woman who
think* she has been devoted iong
enough.
Not satisfied with the laetmord.
she a'so wants the first.
She i» the corset needed to reduce
the government waste.
She is a woman who needs the
“poll for her vaulting ambition.
A Suffragette is a sting of beavtv
and a jawer lorever.
A woman who would ratlur
break window* than clean them.
A woman whose troubles are cer
tuinly not “little ones.”
One who epends more time airing
her views than viewir g her heir*.
A woman who will spare no
panes to get her rights,.
A woman who would rathir rock
the cdur.try than the cradle.
Remarkable j
Surgical Feat
A remarkable operation has be<*n
performed in a hosp.tal at Prsgi e
by Dr. Ilorak on a eiriof lCratutd
Marie Hubaesk She na- suffering
'rom adii-eased bone in her rjght
arm, and wns sent to Prague to
nave the arm amputated, Dr. Ho
rak, however, decided to replace
the deseaseo part of the bone by
a corrssj onding psrt. taken from a
dead person immediately after
death. For this purpose he utilized
a girl vuho died in the hospital
from a bullet wound in the hospi
mi ij-om a bulled wound in the tom
pie. The girl’s right arm was ampu
tatid fmmedietslv alter death and
part of it used to jeplace the diseas
*d portion ivl.ioh had be«n temov
ed froBi the girl Hahucek’s arm.
The opieretion was so successlul
that uow the girl uses her arm ca
well as ever she did.
i
- :
Has 15,000
Asks Cell Bed
Bloomfield, New Jer,ev, Egnatz
Yeasty, a well to do Pole, entered
tbe pol.ce station and arktd for a
eight’s lodging He win locked in a
C' 11 and slept soundly until break
feet time when be was released.
”1 should like to pay my bill for
lodging” he laid to Chief of Police
Collins.” How much is it?” Then he 1
pulied from hie poek, t a roll af
>£.000.
| ‘‘Why in thunder” aiked Collins j
“did « man of jour means coune
here?”
“It was this way” replied Yeaeky
“I sold my house for $5,000, a.ad
got the money. The bank had1
clo ed and I wag afraid to go to
elespinroy neighborhood with sol
much ca»b. I thought the police'
station was the safest piate for a I
man in my fix, to I cams here.
Some scheme, yes?”
A young Irishman went to the
parish priest and told him with a
very long lace, that he had saen a
ghost.
•‘When and where?” said tht pas
tor.
“Last night,” replied the timid
man,“I wa» passing by the church
and up against the tall ot it did I be
bold the spectre.’.
‘’In what shape did it appear?”
inquired the prie3t.
“It appeared in the shape of a
great ass.”
“Go home and hold your tongue
about it,” rejoined theprieet; “you
are a vary timid man. aud have
been Irightentd by your own sha
dow.
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Minimum Wage
Law For Women
The fiist decision his been ren~1
deieil on the constituiio.ialfty of
the minimum wage law for women
and children in the Ftate of Origan.
In a teste'Be brought by a paper
box manufadturer, Judge Cleeton .
of the circuit court at Portland,:
he d last week that tke minimum i
wage law is constitutional. The!
Plaintiff will now carry' the care toj
the state Btipreme court, where it is
unlikely that there will be a deci
sion before next year. It is under
stood that the capitalistic interests
in Oregon and neighboring eta Via
supported the complainant in the
case and thus outcome oi the con
test has been watched with unueual
interest by the working people of
the Pacific coast, as similar laws
are in existence in Washington
and California, while steps bc» be
ing taken in Montana and other
states to secure the enactment o<
similar measures. Public opinion is
overwhelmingly in favor of mini
mum wage laws cn the coast and it
is unlikely that th« courts will at
tempt to defy the general senti
ment.
Mothers’ Pension
;
In Massachu’s^’^
Massachusetts has gone ftrther
than the other states in its mi tbers
pension law. The new statute! pro-'
vides that enough money snfll lei
paid to all mothers with dependent
children sufficient to bring tfifaa up
properly in their own homf®»:ovi
ded.that the necessary mlis
not provided by those who lai un
der le.’al obligation to suppler' the
mothers. Wives who ha.v» been
abandoned and wivee with iyralid
husbands are to rtseive the ben'fits
as well as widows with young chil
dren.
Pensylvania has also a movers’
pension law but not so radical ,and
New York has a commission study
ing the subject.
Socialist Editors
Fined.
The editor* of the Mlorrie County
Educator a socialist piper in New
Jersey, were recently fined $1,500
for alleged slander against J*. \V.
Roberts of the local traction com
pany. Although no tames were
mentioned in the article- complain
ed of, Roberts said that it referred
to him and tbe judge agreed with
him. Tbe case will be taken to* the
inpreme conrt.
RODEN EXPLAINS.
Henry Roden sent a long tele
gram composed of a jumble of lan
guage that he calculated would
throw dust inihe tyres of the people
of tbe district, regarding hislraitor
ous conduct towards Alaska while
he occupied tbe highest positio'ri
that it is in the power d Alaska to
bestow on him. We think the sum
ming up id cui esteemed fellowciti
ien,Toby Fleischman, gives afar
better iuea of what the people think
of Hank’s wire than we can.
After listening carefully to the
read ng of tliowire. Air. Fleischman
exclaimed oxcitedly, “Bud veie iss
Ue egthlanaUun.’’
Administration Doings,
o
To Date.
The Wilson administration , has
wrovight changes in the American i
government—political, economical!
*n? financial—probably m«>re far
reaenicg than any in the past 25!
years.
The fir.4 conetifntinnal amend
ments since 13~0, bot'n non parti
san, were petfectod, providing two1
radieal char.gta in tiie fundamen
tals of government—an income tax
and direct election of United States
Senators.
The national hank anti currency
system, designed to float the debt
of the civil war aid which has op
erated ever siucs> wa» reorganised
into a federal reserve system In
which the central hank plan, the
dominant system of Europe, wa
rejected and a financial reorganiza
tion perfected.
A new tariff law became effective
one of the most comprehensive t-vr
iff measures e ’er enacted.
A parcel post system earn* into
successful operation, and some of
iterates were later teduced while
certain limitations were extended.
The interstate commerce commie
sion began a physical' valuation
of railways—a project that will
cost millions, and take years to com
p’ete but which is expected to ulti
mately pro-'ide a basis of rate ma
king.
Last steps were taken in building
tbe Panama, car ad with the proba
bility that the greatest engineering
feat of the age will he in operation
in the new year.
Practical control of the Philiip
pine government was delivered to
tbe nutives of the islands by Presi
dent Wiis in’s appointment of a na
tive majority of the Philippine com
mission.
What psomieed a new era in the
govermeot’s relation to tbe grea.
corporations in the enforcement of
the-Sherman anti-trust l&w was
brought about by the “bloodless”
dissolution, of the American. Tele
phone and Telegraph company’s re
lations with the Western Union.
The supreme court laid down sev
eral declarations of deep rooted im
portance. It decided that owners
of copyrights and patents may not
control the price at whish retail
dealers shaH reethl their products to
the consumer.
It sustained the validity of the
Sherman Taw as a criminal measure
for the first time in the turpentine
trust cate. In the cotton corner
case it laid down the principle that
a “corner” In any commodity was
o violation of the amtistrust laws.
In the state rate casts it decided
that states through, their railroad
commissions have contaol over the
rates of lines within their borders,
irrespective of the interstate com
merce commission.
The foreign relations of the year
were hardly Use eventful. Secreta
ry Bryan's plan fur international
pta.e was accepted in principle by
more than thirty nations aad trea
tiej with the United States have
actually te n signed by Nicaragua.
and the NVtherlan 1 >.
The most important pronounce
ments ot the adruini tratiou’a for
eign policy were made by President
Wilson when he withdrew the sup
port of the Uni'ed States from tha
bankers and the so cal’e.l six pow
er Chinese loan, in hisLalin-Ame
rican statement in which be pro
claimed the intention of the United
S’at«s torecogn ze on the western
hemisphere those governments
“loundtd on law and order” and
in his now noted Mobile speech in
which we pointed out that never a
gain will the United States mako
war for territorial gain.
The Pre-ident established thepo*
licy of non interference in Mexico,
and while onr soldiers patrol the
border lines and our ships the coast
linos, there will be no armsd inter
vention so long as the Mexican*
conSne their warfare to themselves.
The President refused to retog
nize Huerta, presumably ou tha
ground that he had traitorously u
surped power, wrongfully dis-olved
congress, was the cause of Madero’a
death, and assumes the role of dic
tator.
Last but not least, the rai'roaii
.bill.
-——- 4
Proud father meeting college girl
at train said, ‘Arn’t you unusually
fat Helen.’ (
“Yea dad,’’ she replied, “I weigtl
140 pounde stripped for ’Gymm.”
The lather looked dazed for a m<l
m*nt *nd then demanded: “vY'hflf
in thunder is Jim.”
the square deal!
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