NO SPARE
ROOM
ffi
By LILLIAN MCDON ALD
© Associated Newspaper*.
WNO Service.
/ / ✓ \ NE thing does make me hap
•*l 1 py." said little Mrs. Lane.
\ J ‘‘That’s fortunate,” said Sl
on>n, tier tmsband. “What
is It?”
“That we simply ran t entertain rela
tives front the country. We literally
couldn’t put them up.”
Simon took Ills pipe out of ills mouth,
looked solemnly around the 2(1 by 14 llv
>ng, davenport-sleeping, dining room
and grinned.
“Might try 'em in the bathtub," he
said. "It's large for its size."
“Never," said ills wife who was nice
but not overweighted with a sense of
humor. "No—we’re safe. You see, 1
have six aunts, four cousins, seven
uncles, two perfectly nice but enor
mous grandmothers and grandfathers,
9 mother and father; they’re all large
raters.”
“Say no more. I understand,” waved
Simon, who was hanging a picture.
"How does this look?”
“Nice, but crooked."
Ilis wife gently tilted It and put her
head to one side. "This unpacking Is
awful. I’m hungry again already."
Simon sighed, vanished Into the
kitchenette and produced a delicatessen
thicken, radishes and a bottle of beer.
They ate.
The bell rang vociferously.
Simon rose, wiped off chiekeny fin
gers and went to the door
“Slnton,” his wife heard (slic’d had
presence of mind to dash for the bath
room with the remnants of food, and
hide).
“How you've grown! I simply never
would have known you. And married?
I must see your wife, I hope she is
worthy of you for you were always
such a good, sensible boy.”
Rapturous hugging and audible
kisses followed. Hilda washed her
hands vigorously, removed a black spot
from iter nose and hastily powdered
It Then she tiptoed to tlie door, hold
ing fast to the handle.
“Hilda I” shouted Simon.
She entered to find the room usurped
by the largest person she’d ever seen
Id her life,
Hilda smiled and came forward with
hand outstretched.
"I am Simon's great-aunt Matilda
Warren,” said the Invader. “I heard
you were In town and so I made an
appointment with my dentist (I have
to get a new plate) and I Just know
you'll love to have me for a few days—
until he gets through.”
Hilda strove to master a groan.
“I'm terribly sorry but we have only
one room. You see Simon Is not rich,
yet lie and 1 just managed this little
[dace, which is cunning for two. Hut
we eat and sleep and live and work,
all in this little room.”
“Have you no kitchen?” said the
great-aunt. Her tone sounded menac
ing, somehow, but It might have been
Imagination.
“Simon, come show Mrs. Warren the
kitchen" In a stifled voice from poor
Hilda.
"A closet that’s all It Is! Ridiculous
to try and keep healthy In such an
ubsurd way. ICr, have you no bath
room?"
“You show her the bathroom," In
anguished tones front Simon.
"H'm A nice big tub. Now, chil
dren, it seems to me I could make my
self right comfortable In that bath
tub for the few days Doctor Jones will
take to fix my plate. Now, just don't
suy a word. I’ll take my blankets 1
always take around with me. for one
can never tell if hotels und hoarding
houses are really clean and sanitary
1 always take two blankets and I’ve
this nice steamer rug, used when poor
Uncle Warren was alive, and we went
to Europe (dear, how sick I was!)
Well, we'll tlx It fine. Here." she
opened tier suitcase and threw out
the formidable but spotless blankets, a
Navajo rug, the steamer rug and as
sorted pillows.
“No, you just get me a light dinner,
a steak (only see It’s thick) nnd a
few potatoes and cauliflower nnd some
nice oranges and cake (I only want a
light dinner) will do fine! I'll help
you with the rest of your unpacking
and seems to me you might have done
without a piano until you had a big
ger apartment and then you could have
had the stove outside that closet and
been better able to keep house; bn
I guess you will be able to manage.
Hilda. You might give me a tune,
something lively; and 1 will fix that
steak myself as soon as Simon brings
it In. I'm never so happy ns when I’m
cooking a good dinner.” She stopped
breathless, while Hilda merely gasped.
"ISut Amu Matilda, there really Isn't
room. You’d ho most frightfully un
comfortable. You couldn’t sleep In the
bathtub, possibly. Really you couldn’t.
It might drip ami give you rheu
matism."
“Now just you leave everything to
me. I'll tlx everything and nere is a
nickel, for I must find the exact time
from Doctor Jones about my plate.”
Somehow she swept the hapless couple
nslde, and found the telephone.
‘‘Where’d you put the nickel?” she
cried.
"It’s not n nickel telephone,' saiu
Hilda. “Call anyone you want."
“Telephone service goes with the
rent, I suppose. I’ve heard of It.
It’s nice to feel you won’t be out of
pocket by my stay, anyway.”
Simon looked at Hilda, speechless.
Behind his great aunt’s back he kicked
at her blankets. “Sh 1 She’ll kill you
If you mark them! I don’t believe fat
people are always so good-natured and
your great aunt Is worse than all my
poor relatives put together."
Great aunt beamed. “Doctor Jones
says he’ll fix It all within a couple of
days,” said she. “Now let’s get busy.
I don’t like this dull brown paper and
those pictures look awful queer to me.
What are they?”
"Japanese prints," murmured Hilda.
“A good American picture Is good
enough for me. Heathenish, they look.
Why not try nnd sell them for a few ■
cents and get a good, cheerful land
scape with a few nice cows, or a little
girl’s head."
"We like them, Mrs. w arren, ana
perhaps, as you are good enough to
think you can rest comfortably for two ,
nights in a bathtub, you won’t mind
our keeping our prints where they
are.”
“Keep what you like, my deur, only
I think it makes people depressed and
queer when they live with queer things,
that's nil.”
“Where Is site?'’ whispered Simon,
entering with ttie ingredients for the
“light” meal.
"in the bathroom making her bed.
I simply won’t make up beds in bath
rooms, nor will I he responsible for
barbarians.” As Simon looked a trifle
hurt, she flew to him nnd putting her
arms around his neek whispered, “I’m
sorry. But our scheme for no spare i
room scarcely seems a success.”
“I forgot Aunt Matilda. She only
comes to town for her plate about
every four years, dear, that's all. Any
way, she will stay only one night. I'll
see to that.”
“But how, Simon? We can’t murder
her. Nothing else would get her out.”
“Listen. When I was a kid I walked
in my sleep.”
“Well?”
“I might get up early and turn on
the shower.”
Hilda giggled. “Oh Simon, you
mustn’t. It might kill her.”
“You don't know Great Aunt Matil
da. I do.”
Tell-Tale Nail*
An experienced doctor, when feeling
the poise of a patient, will often assist
his diagnosis by a casual glance at the
finger nails. The healthy nail Is re
newed once In 110 days, but the rate
of growth Is retarded by disease. Nalls
are highly specialized portions of the
skin, and as such are subject to bodily
ailments, of which they alwrays show
signs. Serious Illnesses always leave
distinct transverse grooves In the nails,
which gradually disappear with new
growth; also, broken bones and frac
tures leave deep ridges which do not
disappear for 18 months or more. Peo
ple constitutionally strong have large,
heaped-up nails, nnd thick nails usu
ally denote h strong personality—
though the converse does not hold
good.—Tit-Hits Magazine.
Endearing Term* in Stone*
The favorite engagement ring of
the Nineteenth century was set with
gems whose Initial letters formed a
word of endearment such as “dear
est” made up of diamonds, emeralds,
amethysts, rubies, sapphires and tur
quoises. The idea of a sentimental
message conveyed by the stones of a
betrothal ring especially appealed to
the Victorians. In 18G2, when the
prince of Wales tendered his engage
ment ring to Princess Alexandra of
Denmark, it was set with stones whose
initial letters spelled "Bertie," the
[irlnee's pet name. There wns no gem
beginning with the letter I, but the
court Jewelers substituted the Jacinth.
Maton and Presidents
Presidents Washington, Jackson,
Polk. Fillmore, Buchanan, Johnson,
Garfield, .McKinley, Theodore Roosevelt,
Taft, [larding, Franklin Roosevelt
were Masons. Fillmore is thought by
some writers to have been initiated
into the order at an early age but to
have recanted during the antl-Masonlc
agitation. Claims of Masonic member
ship have been made for other Presi
dents, including Jefferson. John Adams.
.[. Q. Adams, Monroe, Tyler, Pierce,
Lincoln and Grant, but without proof.
In addition to these, Madison, Van
Buren, \V. II. Harrison, Taylor, Hayes,
Arthur. Cleveland, B. Harrison, Wilson,
Coolidge and Hoover were non-Masons.
"Printed at Government Eepenae”
The distinction, “Not printed at gov
ernment expense.” used over a speech
of a member of congress, means that
the member has himself paid for the
printing of the speech. When a mem
her has speeches printed for bis own
use these are printed at his own ex
pense.
Let Our Motto Be
GOOD HEALTH
BY DR. LLOYD ARNOLD
Professor of Bacteriology and Preventive
Medicine, University of Illinois*
College of Medicine. _
ASTHMA, HAY FEVER, HIVEI
AND SICK HEADACHE
Spontaneous hypersensitiveness In
man are Mr words that, without proper
explanation, mean
very little, but, as
a matter of fact,
spontaneous hyper*
sensitiveness In
cludes asthma, hay
fever, eczema, and
such common dis
eases which, while
they rnrely carry
us to the jtrave, cer
tainly make us ex
ceedingly uncom
fortable. Asthma
attacks the muscu
lar tubes of the air passages and causes
these muscles to contract, thereby
diminishing the volume of nlr that Is
breathed in. Hay fever attacks the
niemhruiie of the nose. Kczema may
break out In the skin almost nuy
where.
It has been found that, when both
parents have suffered from hay fever
or asthma, C8 per cent of the children
have these ailments. When only one
parent suffers from lmy fever and
asthma, usually just half of the chil
dren have the same ailment. Hut hay
fever and asthma also develop in gome
children where there Is no family his
tory of this disease. When both par
ents are asthmatics or hay fever suf
ferers, children develop the same dis
ease earlier In life than when only
one parent Is involved or when there
is no history of these particular ail
ments in the mother or father.
Hay fever parents usually beget hay
fever children, and asthmatic parents
beget asthmatic children.
lluy fever Is usually associated
with August, the month in which rag
weed pollens are most numerous in the
air. But tlie hypersensitive condition
of the nose can be brought about by
other substances than plant pollens,
animal lialr, dandruff, or such sub
stances can cause It, as can face pow
ders, perfumes and certain foods, such
as strawberries, almonds, tish, etc. Or
it can be brought about by bacterial
Infections. In this Instance It is not
the bacteria that cause the disease, as
in the case of a boil, but it is the
component parts of the bacteria tiiat
are absorbed by the blood stream and
come in contact with the nose In this
way.
The cause of asthma can be the
same as that of hay fever. Inhaling
certain substances, ingesting certain
substances as food or remote foci of
bacterial growths, can cause an In
creased sensitiveness of the muscula
ture of the tubes leading air to the
lungs. This increased sensitiveness
causes spasms of these muscles. It is
during the period of spasm or cramps
that the asthmatic is most uncomfort
able. Another manifestation of hyper
sensitiveness to foods is the uticaria or
hives that break out on the skin after
the eating of certain foods.
In studies which have been carried
on at the Illinois Kesearch hospital
in connection with the University of
Illinois, It seems that an individual be
longing to the asthma, hay fever, ecze
ma or hives group is put together in a
different way from the rest of us.
These hypersensitive people are so con
stituted nnd constructed that they re
act in an abnormal manner to wha*
would he normal to most of us.
The Individuals who suffer from
migraine headache, the sick headache
that comes on with regular periodicity
really belong to the same general
group as the hypersensitive persons do.
This does not mean that the aiigralne
is brought on like an attack of asthma
or hay fever. Hut studies of the head
ache groups that we have made in our
research laboratory leave us impressed
with tlie fact that preceding an attack
of sick headache, certain definite In
ternal changes take place. These in
clude changes in constituents of the
blood, and there seems to be a differ
ence In tlie Internal metabolism of
these migraine sutTerers. The changes
seem to he periodic, occurring some
times nt weekly intervals, and again
nt fortnightly, monthly or even longer
intervals. Consequently these sick
headaches, although not brought on by
inhaling plant or animal substances
or by eating certain foods, seem to de
pend on a changing or unstable Inter
nal regulating system that makes tlie
migraine patient closely akin to asth
matic and hay fever sufferers.
Cur condition then is that persons
suffering from asthma, hay fever,
eczema, hives and migraine, have a
very unstable involuntary nervous
system.
The involuntary controlling inachln
ery of their body functions Is so regu
lilted that it can be upset or thrown
out of tune as a result of contact with
Irritating substances that to the rest
of us produce no deviation from the
normal.
C Western Newspapti Union
Giant Cinnamon Tree* Were Failed to Make a Jungle Home.
Prepared bv the National Orographic Society.
Washington, D. C.—WNU Service.
RANCH life In the wilds of Ecua
dor was the dream of an ad
venturous American couple.
Together they have created a
delightful home In the middle of an
equntorinl Jungle. The Hacienda Itlo
Negro Is located on the eastern slopes
of the Andes, about two degrees south
of the equator, at an altitude of some
f.,000 feet, on the north side of the
1'usta7.it valley.
The site Itself is a tropical paradise.
A broad, beautifully wooded valley
rises In range after range of hills on
each side of the falling Pastnza In h
series of table-lands.
The most delightful feature of this
equatorial Eden Is the fact that there
are no mosquitoes, and nil noxious In
sects seem to be reduced to a mini
mum.
The nearest town, post office, amt
general supply depot Is Banos, whoso
white-walled, red-roofed houses cling
with a stoical, and several times mis
placed, trust to the base of the Black
Giant, Tungurnhun, a beautifully
shaped volcano.
Leaving the lava-swept base of Tun
guruhua at Banos nnd the seml-nrld
ness of the Andean cradle, one pro
gresses down the valley of the Pastaza
past the Falls of Agoynn, higher than
Niagara, nnd finds oneself getting
gradually deeper and deeper Into the
fringe of Ihe jungle.
Ar last, descending from El Mirador,
where one sees a large section of the
Pastaza river valley spread out, partly
occupied by the hacienda, one emerges
from the gorgeously orchid lined trails
Into open pastures.
Years before, an Ecuadorian had
partially cleared some of the land nnd
had built n four-roomed house In
what he proudly called the “Ameri
can style.” The heavy tile roof had
fallen In; the rotten timbers which
supported It, sagging with fatigue, had
finally given up the struggle. A bam
boo shack attached to one end of the
house was alive with cockroaches.
Keep In Touch With Radio.
Everything had to be done with what
resources were at hand. Immediate
purchases were Impossible, for there
were no convenient shops. Consequent
ly they learned to Improvise, even
when It was a question of creating
such things as a forge, a blower, an
efficient water heater and pressure
tank, a water wheel to run the dynamo
to charge the radio battery, a power
transmission belt, dressing for the belt,
or kitchen drninbonrds out of roofing
zinc. The whole hacienda, with Its
house nnd furnishings, may he put
down as a one large Improvisation.
Itadlo links the jungle clearing with
a remote world. During one small
political uprising In Guayaquil they
heard the news broadcast from New
York before the newspapers In the
mountains had published It.
The natives regarded tiie set with
superstitious awe; imt were more im
pressed hy being aide to hear pro
grams from the mountain cities of Itlo
liamba and Quito than they were by
European or North American programs.
All tilings outside Ecuador were for
eign to their experience, but to hear
music from towns which many of them
had visited was something at which
they could really marvel.
Fortunately the special osier fiber
known ns mimbre was found growing
near tiie ranch. II was readily adapted
to tiie making of wicker furniture, in
an incredibly short time strongly built,
comfortable chairs, a chaise longue,
and a tnhle were fashioned by a na
tive cabinet maker.
Passing Indians brought sacks of
kapok, which made soft cushions for
the chairs, mattresses for tiie beds,
and pack blankets for tiie mules.
Making The.r Garden.
There is no glass in the house win
dows. Heavy shutters of wood can
be closed when tiie rains beat down
too heavily. The temperature is so
constantly mild that no further pro
tection Is needed. By dint of much
hard work, a complete water system
was Anally Installed. A flume of
hardwood and bamboo brings water
from n stream on the hillside back of
the house to a pressure and settling
tank, also built of wood. From this
tank the water Is piped Into the house.
An efficient system for heating the
water was made from two 50-gallon
drums. The bathroom Is lighted by
candles set In sconces made of hollow
bamboo stems.
One of the first things the .voting
pioneers did on arriving at their new
ranch was to look for hind which had
good drainage and which was not too
far from the house, to clear for land
for the planting of a vegetable garden.
They found a shelf of good land over
looking the river and set men to chop
down trees, clear away brush, and
free It as far ns possible from roots.
Carrots, beets, beans, spinach, and
radishes thrive, hut lettuce and cab
bage grows very tall—Into small trees,
in fact—and develops disappointingly
small heads. Tomatoes nourish. Even
stray seeds dropped nround the kitchen
door grow into strong, healthy plants.
The simill pepper, njl, so popular In
Ecuador, grows equally well.
Papaya trees give delicious melons
for the breakfast table. Knnanas, of
course, were planted Immediately.
Orange and tangerine trees grow near
by; also lemon and lime trees. Wild
guava trees bear fruit Just over the
fence.
There Is also the naranjilla, which
1 an orange-colored fruit covered with
a prickly, hairy coat. The Inside of
this fruit Is a greenish-yellow color
and Is filled wth tiny seeds. One spe
cies Is tasteless, but the juice of the
other, when ripe, has a delicate, dis
tinctive aroma and flavor, which may
be Indicated vaguely to the sense of
taste by mentioning a combination of
orange, pineapple, and strawberry. It
makes a refreshing hot-weather drlDk,
and nlso a delicious pie similar to s
lemon meringue. Perishable foods are
kept by means of a homemade, water
cooled balsa-wood refrigerator. The
mountain strenm which Is diverted
over this refrigerator box keeps butter
hard and vegetables fresh and crisp.
All the Comfort* of Horn*.
In I his wilderness two modern Cru
shes have achieved the comforts of the
white man's civilization. Their dinner
is served on a hnnd-rubhed mahogany
table. China is native-made and hand
decorated in a single design which re
sembles that of Italian pottery. The
shawls nre effective as curtains and
stand out brightly ngainst the soft,
satiny gleam of the cinnamon-board
walls.
Against the dark wall of the living
room, the paintings of a Quito artist
emphasize the rich, bold tones of na
tive scenes and native faces. Between
the book shelves which flank one end
of that room Is a built-in divan de
signed by one of New York's foremost
stage designers. It Is upholstered In
the downy kapok of the woods and
covered with the weaves of nimble na
tive Angers. A wide veranda Incloses
the front and sides of the house, and
another of generous proportions out
lines the U between the rear wings.
Outside, In the "working" grounds,
is a blacksmith shop, with an Impro
vised forge nud blower, to which the
stubborn little pack mules and the rid
ing horses are led for shoeing. Across
the driveway is a peon shack, made of
split bamboo and covered with tlmtcli.
Near the big gate is a corral built on
the western style, by using whole bam
boo poles Instead of pine timbers.
The big gate whieli leads to the
hacienda house from the Pastazn trail
was an achievement in hand labor. To
the top of the huge lignum-vitae posts,
15 feet high and Indies square, the
men hauled up an runners a cross
beam weigh ing 1,700 pounds. Sheer
manpower, lacking the assistance of
machinery, tugged and sweated that
massive lintel Into place all one after
noon. There it is now, etched In the
■ moonlight, proclaiming to the Jungle
! and the trail the results, of two years’
effort