The Crying Towel
(by (nl Iruitt)
Why no poet has ever sung
an ode to the pork chop I do
not know. It is true that
(diaries Lamb wrote a little
dissertation on roast pig once,
but the poets have shied away
from such delightful subjects
as chops. There was a time
when I could take my pork
chops or leave them alone. In
fact, 1 am sure that I spent
in a n \ consecutive months
v\ ithout ever thinking of pork
chops. But that was before
Arkansas in 1952.
Food in Arkansas these
days is as monotonous as a
Sunday morning radio pro
gram; in fact, everyone gams
weight You gain weight be
cause tlie food you are given
is fattening if uninteresting.
Yon can always get game in
season and there are always
plenty of potatoes, brussels
sprouts and cabbage. I hove
seen sprouts and cabbage in
their native state decorating
the hats of Arkansas models,
and very cute they looked too.
I he m o d e ! s, that is. As a
means of expressing disap
proval of a bad burlesque
play, 1 know of nothing bet
ter than sprouts or cabbage.
But as an integral part of
one’s diet they leave much to
be desired. Usually in Arkan
sas we wound up eating meat
and potatoes, a diet frowned
upon by the purists in matters
of nutrition. The choice of
meat was strictly limited to
to mutton, liver, sweetbreads;
game and an occasional tired
chicken. For good measure,
turnip greens, corn bread and
hominy were thrown in. Hav
ing a dislike for all this, there
were many days where 1 star
ved. There were many days
where 1 wished for dried fish
ai d stink heads.
After mam months of this
succulent diet, a pork chop
looked like something that
dropped Iroin heaxen.
1 lived at a new dorm at
Harding College in Arkansas
and the food at the place was
no better than it should have
been. Now and then the place
surprised us. One morning,
for instance, my room mate
and two suite matt's burst in
t i m\ room von early to
awaken me with a gleeful cry
that they they could get me
scrambled eggs for breakfast,
finch an occasion would have
been excuse enough to awak
en Dw ight 1). Fisenhower at
three in the morning. I hadn't
set'll an egg for months. The
[Imv luirrieci on and soon re
turned n idi a beautiful-look
ing dish of scrambled eggs.
Thev stood beside the table
they had brought in, gazing
loving]) at them. It was in
fact, quite an occasion. But !
tasted the scrambled eggs. I
spit out tlu1 scrambled eggs. 1
1 cursed the scrambled eggs.
“This is s c r a m b 1 e d saw
dust l told t lie three re
proachful!). “A chick e n
woti\l die of shame it you
said she was responsible tor
this mess. Never did care
much for dehydrated stuff.
Those who have read this
f ar and have seen nothing re
sembling sports should con
tinue because the three who
had the eon rage to bring me
dehydrated scrambled eggs
will have a lot to do w ith
transforming this into a sup
posedl) sports column, we
hope.
The three just happen to he
the. fin< st basketball playets
in the Southwest. The room
mate v is a transfer from the
University of Arkansas and
the other two did their piny*
mg at Kansas State, T he two
transferred to the Ozarks Just
as W ilt Chamberlain entered
Kansas which is probably why
they changed institutions is
the first place. Both were on
the all Big 7 team before
heading into Arkansas.
Allthree have high hopes of
coming into town to play tor
the Sitka ANB since they all
heard so inceh of this team,
from me, of course. The three
giants, all taller than anything
Alaska has seen, applied for
teaching positions but were
not successful but hope to hit
this hamlet and look for a job,
e v en a dish-washing one. At
any rate, they would be the
most educated dish-washers
in Alaska since two of them
VIA degrees. They are almost
certain of coming here unless
their spouses rule other-wise
The moral here 1 guess is
reason enough to stay single.
One of these years, this ob
server hopes to head back in
to the O/arks and take to the
hills as a permanent resident
since it is the finest and
friendliest place 1 have ever
been. Mostly country folk,
the people in Arkansas are
the most sincere people I
have ever met. The best part
of the whole deal is that they
are all! democrats which is
why this writer would he
very happy indeed.
It any of the readers ever
plan head into Arkansas,
into Arkansas, they had bet
ter take their own Copenhag
en snuff because you can t
buy tIn* stuff in 11 it* place.
School begins on Sept. 2
and that is one sure sign that
our biggest sport, basketball
is just around the corner.
For y ears, 1 have made pre
dictions both on a national
and local level but it always
seems that such prognosticat
ing invariably puts the wham
my and jinx on my favorites.
W itness the sad position, of
St. Louis Cardinals in the Na
tional League race and you
get a pretty good idea of the
accuracy of this column.
There’s a brand new chip
on the shoulders of the Edge
combe Braves this season and
it min not be knocked off
easily.
This could Be as good a
year as the channel commun
ity has had in high school
basketball since 1948 when
Clyde Earabee turned out a
team that won more games
than it lost. To put it mildly,
that 1948 team lost only one
game.
It may not be a champion
ship year at Edgemumbe of
c ourse. That’s almost too
much to expect after all that’s
happened. But it could be a
winner a year in which Edge
combe may have a lot more
than just a token place in
Southeast Basketball.
I he years since 1948 have
been bitter along the channel.
From the high estate of a city
league championship and an
amazing showing in the Cold
Medal Tournament, the Edge
( umbo team slipped into the
bogs of low er echelons and
oraeticallv stayed there.
The old chip was always
on the shoulder, of course, tor
Edgecombe is proud. But the
old chip meant little. Every
body knocked it off and every
body enjoued knocking it oft.
The record for the past deca
de is dismal indeed but it
could be different this year.
This now not only could be
a distinctly different year,
this could be the beginning of
a distinctly different decade.
There's a new chop on the
s h o u 1 d e r. A good nucleus
from last season’s team re
turns and tins could be the
year that Edgecumbe has
long waite for.
My old friend up in Jun
eau, Vein Metcalfe of the
j u n e a u Independent, has
long k i d d e d me of tins
column. I’ll bet he never had
his column on the front page.
Vera does a neat job of sports
writing for the Juneau paper
and li look forward to receiv
ing my copy each week. Vent
used to he in the territorial
legislature and I was very
surprised that he chose not to
run for some political office.
It is probably for the best
since he might have gotten
onh two votes, mine and his.
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SITKA REALTY & INSUR
ANCE
FOR SALE: Two year old,
well constructed, furnished,
two bedroom house. Living
room. Kitchen with dining
area, full bath, porches front
and back. Located on IV2 ac
res waterfront tract, beautiful
view. Boat moorage. Reason
ably priced.
Tw o three bedroom homes
located on a large tract of
land beautiful view of James
town Bay. Each house fully
furnished, appliances-s p o t~
lessly elean-Home and in
come “package deal
Have other house, business
locations, 12 unit apartment,
Fred R. Geeslin D.C. Camp
bell
Licensed Brokers Phone 747
3368
Wanted To Rent Apt. or
house Young Couple and
baby. Employed by Tile Pio
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Wanted; Shoes to repair. I
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gardless of what others say.
Leave at Harbor Cab Stand.
Brownies
\\ e-The Pioneers From
PageS 5
day morning a telephone in
our Lounge
This is really a most won
derful thing for now we can
keep in touch with our many
friends in Sitka. Everyone
joins me, I’m sure, in thank
ing the Soroptomists for thoir
most thoughtful “Second
Horizons project.
Where CASH is KING
Hereford Corned Beef
12 oz. Can
494
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6 flavor Cubes 4’/2 lb
694
DUNCAN HINES
Devils Food Cake Mix
2 for 694
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46 oz.
474
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Hale Fresh
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794
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674 lb
lut your own Chunk. If you come within 1/16 of a lb to
vhat you want you get it FREE. Tel! Wally what size you
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