CHUCKLES
DIS ASSEMBLY LINE
The skipper of the new tanker
Fort Moultrie, reporting to his
employers, Deconhill Shipping |
Company of San Francisco:
“This vessel has recently expe
rienced a great amount of trouble
with the smaller pumps failing to
function properly. The pumps
were found to be in perfect condi
tion and no reason could be found
for their failure until a pair of
ladies’ panties were taken from
the suction pipe.
“These were undoubtedly dis- j
carded during the construction of
the vessel in a moment of thought
lessness and left lying in the tank,
later finding their way into the
pipeline. Other tankers built at
the Swan Island shipyards have
experienced similar difficulties.
“In order that all may cooper
ate 100 percent in the war effort
and the total destruction of the
Axis Powers, it is respectfully re
quested that the lady workers
keep their pants on during work
ing hours for the duration.
Signed R. B. Gallery,
Master, SS Fort Moultrie.”
Harry—Yes, my old uncle gets
dizzy spells from cigars.
Jerry—I suppose that’s what in
haling does?
Harry—No, that’s what the
bending over and picking them
off the sidewalk does to him.
Harry—I just got $20 back from
the income tax department.
Jerry Swell. Now you can pay
me that five bucks you owe me.
Harry—Wait till I tell you the
rest of my dream!
Jones—I put thousands of men
to work every day.
Smith-*—You must have an im
portant job?
Jones—I'll say. I blow the whis
tle!
The bell of St. Peter’s in Rome
weighs 18,600 pounds.
Shots Fired At
Indonesia Premier
BATAVIA, Dec. 26—(A5)—Shots
were fired at Premier Sjahrir, of
the unrecognized Indonesian Re
public, and he was clubbed with
a pistol butt in what Aneta, Dutch
news agency, said was apparently
an attempt of several Netherlands
Indies soldiers to steal his car. “I
don't think they knew who I was,”
Sjahrir was quoted by a corres
pondent of Aneta.
Four men in Dutch uniforms in
another car pulled alongside the
Premier’s auto and fired three
shots against the hood, forcing
him to halt, Sjahrir reported. He
said he had gotten out of his car
when one soldier struck him with
a pistol. He said a group of about
fifteen men in all, approached the
car, but fled upon the appearance
of a British patrol.
British military police arrested
six soldiers, who said they were
Eurasians and Surinamese.
OUGHTA BE A LAW
TOPEKA, Kas.—{/■P)—Secretary
of State Frank Ryan received a
letter from a man who announced
he planned to open a restaurant
and wanted a license. He PS’d
that he also intended to sell a lit
tle liquor on the side. Ryan wrote
and told him where to get a li
cense. Then he PS’d: “Unless you
plan on being thrown into the cal
aboose, lay off the booze. There’s
a law again’ it in Kansas.”
_____________________
PITTSBURGH {IP)—Irene Gon
sowski and William C. Bostjanick
went to Squire Arthur J. McGiv
ern’s office to get married but
learned he was playing end man
in a minstrel show at Oakmont
high school.
There the black-faced squire,
attired in checked waistcoat, red
and white trousers and silver
shoes, performed the ceremony
before the cast, with the janitor
as witness. He assured them it
was legal despite his make-up.
Pan American
World Airwave
«Sys/tm #/ dt&fykj Cbfptn
D n E A M
THEATRE
NOME. ALASKA
1 Show, Dec. 26 and 27, 7:30 P.M.
WEDNESDAY and THURSDAY
“CINDERELLA
SWINGS IT”
GUY KIBBEE.
GLORIA WARREN
And "BOOMTOWN. D. C."
2 Shows. Dec. 28, 7:15 and 9 P.M.
FRIDAY
“MOUNTAIN RHYTHM”
WEAVER BROTHERS Sc ELVIRY
LYNN MERRICK
And "JUNGLE GIRL," No. 6
1 Show, Dec. 29, 7:30 P.M.
SATURDAY
“PRIDE OF THE
YANKEES”
GARY COOPER,
TERESA WRIGHT
And "TOUCHDOWN TARS"
2 Shows, Dec. 30, 7:15 and 9 P.M.
SUNDAY
“MINESWEEPER”
RICHARD ARLEN.
JEAN PARKER
Also 'POPULAR SCIENCE, No. 1'
SHOWGIRL—iii • fetching
Spanish costume, abbreviated
except for the fringe, Joy Bar*
low, performer in a motion
ptotore musical, poses for a pin*,
op ptotore*
Coffee plants generally yield
their first crop in their fourth
year.
CLASSIFIED ADS
NEW ROYAL TYPEWRITERS
Your ROYAL agent will make
his first trip to Nome about the
first week in January, with com
plete information about your NEW
ROYAL TYPEWRITER and earli
est delivery date.
Anyone interested in the pur
chase of the new postwar ROYAL
or servicing of their old typewrit
ers arrange now to see Don Wiggen
at Wien Alaska Airline’s Office in
Nome, or write Don Wiggen, Box
1568, Fairbanks, Alaska.
| Man Dies In Fire
In Fairbanks
FAIRBANKS, Dec. 26 — (£>) —
John Carl, 27, of Des Moines,
Iowa, was suffocated in a fire
j Christmas day, when an oil stove
exploded in a wannigan. The
blaze was detected by refuse col
lectors, who dashed to the fire de
partment. Carl had been a driver
for the Star Cab, Fairbanks, and
mechanic for Elliot and Kansas
j City Bridge Construction Co., at
Whitehorse.
He is believed to be survived by
! a wife and two children in Des
Moines. The body was identified
by a name bracelet on the wrist.
He was scheduled to depart today
for Point Barrow, where he was
! to be a “cat” driver for Lytle and
Green.
_i
BRITISH CONSUL HAS
LONG MEMORY
| ’ i
DENVER—(/P)—Roger Stevens, |
British consul in Denver, has a
long memory. !
“Haven’t I met you before?” he
inquired, when he was introduced j
to Louis Ackerman, an engineer.1
Ackerman admitted that Stev
ens’ face “seems familiar.” I
Stevens reflected for a moment
then said: “You were in Antwerp
in 1939 and I wrote you a visa to
Britain, did I not?”
“That is true,” exclaimed Ack
erman.
HARRY CREAMER
BURNS TO DEATH
The U. S. Commissioner, Jack
Dowd, accompanied by District
Attorney Frank Bingham and
Deputy Marshal George Bayer,
made a trip to Council Saturday
to investigate the death of Harry
Creamer, who was reported burn
ed to death. An inquest was held
and a verdict of accidental death
by suffocation was rendered.
Harry Creamer was an old
timer, having been a resident of
Seward Peninsula for about 25
years. He is survived by his wife.
CHRISTMAS SONGSTERS
BUSY OVER HOLIDAY
The United Community Chorus,
representing nine denominations,
sang over WXLN yesterday morn
ing at eleven o’clock, and for
morning services at the Air Base.
The carolers of the Methodist
Church sang around town on Sun
day and Christmas Eve, and were
especially appreciated by the in
mates of the hospital.
The choir of the St. Joseph’s
Church sang at the midnight
Christmas Eve religious services
at the Air Base.
The largest diamond ever used
in industry has been reset seven
times by the Diamond Tool Com
pany of Chicago without impair
ing its efficiency. The diamond
originally weighed 62.5 carats. Af
ter four and a half years of con
stant service it weighs 19.2 carats.
—Modern Industry
RECEIVED
BY PLANE
MRS. DAY’S
FIRST-STEP
BABY SHOES
and
LADIES FOUNDATION
GARMENTS
Styled by Gossard
A.POLET
GENERAL MERCHANDISE
MAIN 103 BOX 39