“APRIL FOOL:”
, Jokes ter s’ Gadgets Will Fracture You
(By Paul Pett)
((#>) Newsfeaturcs Writer)
NEW YORK, (/P) — Oh, this’ll
fracture you. Laugh? You’ll die.
Seems there is a new—ho, ho,
ho—a new gadget out. Looks like
a real fountain—ha, ha, ha—like
a real fountain pen. Only you take
the top off and it—hee, hee, hee
—it explodes! Imagine!
Then there is a new table knife.
Looks exactly like any other ta
ble knife. But try to spread some
butter with it. Just try and the
darn thing will collapse! Honest, a
real knee-slapper!
Can you stand it. Well, just one
| more. You hold what looks exact
ly like a pack of chewing gum.
Matter of fact, there's a stick
sticking out! Offer it to someone.
He pulls out it. And water squirts
out! All over his hand, his face.
April Fool! April Fool! Yuk, yuk!
These are among the newest
gadgets available for the practi
cal jokers who will blossom out
for this annual frolice. Richard
Appel, one of the biggest manu
facturers in the field, knows them
well.
“Funny thing about the squirt
ing chewing gum,” he says. ‘‘For
years everybody was making
squirting gadgets. The ring which
squirts, for example, is 60 years
old. Also, lots of people made
chewing gum which snaps or ex
plodes. But nobody had though to
make squirting chewing gum un
til he brought it out. It’s a big
hit.”
You will be glad, or dismayed,
lo learn that practical jokers are
increasing, according to reports
reaching Appel. "In time of trou
ble and tension." he theorizes,
"people resort more and more to
humor to forget."
Other Appel conclusions:
Americans buy more practical
jokes than anybody but sales are
weakest in Maine and Vermont.
Despite their reputation for being
humorless, the British buy a lot
of the gadgets when they have the
dollars. Latin Americans are great
practical jokers and, judging by
sales over many years, the “Ger
mans have the worst sense of hu
mor, but there arc sour pusses in j
every country.”
Apple’s business has been in his ,
family for generations—in fact,
since 1652. It operated from Ger
many until 1937 when, because of
Hitler, the firm was moved to this j
country.
Appel, who is graying, immac- |
ulatc and rather serious, is the I
idea man. His guinea pigs are sec
retaries, tool makers and other
people around his plant in lower 1
CIGARETTE snowstorm over
a rubber hot dog demonstrat
ed by Richard Appel.
Manhattan.
"My mind is working night and
day on the next gadget," he says.
"I watch all of the new practical
things, new tableware or pens or
pencils that come out. I always
think of them in terms of a prac
tical joke.
"Our industry suffers from a
lack of real creators. Too many
people are thinking only of turn
ing out old gadgets for less money.
Thus, they sacrifice realism. But
that’s tragic. For in this business
you have to imitate real things
used in everyday life to such per
fection that no one will be sus
picious.”
Among practical jokers, Appel
reports, many of the old favorites
are still going strong: the fake
spilled bottle of ink (“at least 60
years old”; the leaky glass; match
es which explode- or sprout snakes
tiny pellets which, when placed
on a lighted cigar, create syn
thetic snow (20 years old>; a con
cealed tube which makes dishes
jump; hot toothpicks (with pep
per); candy, which, when un
wrapped, jumps in all directions,
throwing out springs and miscel
laneous parts.
Itching powder; sneezing pow
der; soap which leaves a lather
the color of blood: foaming sugar;
exploding cigars, cigarettes and
match boxes; a tablespoon with a
big hole in it; silverware which
explodes and snaps; tace cream
jars which shoot,snap, explode or
eject a snake; and, of course, the
"hot seat" and the telescope which
leaves the viewer with a black
eye.
Laugh? You'll die!
BERING SEA GLIB
DANCING EVERY SATURDAY and SUNDAY
POOL - SHUFFLEBOARD - TEN PIN
SERVICE BARBER SHOP
Tub, Shower and Steam Baths
MINERS & MERCHANTS
BANK OF ALASKA
NOME ALASKA
Washington Notes
STUDENTS
Student enrollment in colleges
and universities before the war
totaled less than 1,500,000. This
figure has risen to 2,500,000 for ,
the current academic year and, ac
cording to Dr. Earl J. McGrath, U.
S. Commissioner of Education,
will reach 3,000,000 in less than
a decade.
FAMILIES
American families, reserving a
trend of a few years ago, are be
coming larger, with a consequent
demand for larger homes, accord
ing to Ewan Clauge, commissioner
of labor statistics. Marriages,
which boomed after the troops
came home at the end of the war,
now have settled back to a normal
prewar rate, but births are zipping
right along at almost 4,000,000 a
year.
HOME-BUILDING
A record of 1,025,000 dwelling
units were started in 1949 and this
pace is continuing on into 1950,
with about 80,000 units started in
each of the cold-weather months
of December, January and Febru
ary. This compares with 50,000 a
month a year ago. It will take
“several years” more of the 1,000,
000-a-year housing construction
pace to catch up with anticipated
requirements, according to Ewan
Clauge, commissione rof labor sta^
tistics.
17th NATIONAL CENSUS
President Truman, in proclaim
ing the seventeenth national cen
sus, called on the public to co-op
erate in giving information as a
duty of good citizenship and de
mocracy. He assured the nation
that no individual’s privacy would
be violated. The great task of
counting the population and gath
ering statistics of an economic and
social nature will begin on April 1.
SAVINGS
The Defense Department is sav
ing $489,000,000 a year through
abolition of 163,000 civilian jobs
found non-essential in military
services, acording to General Jo
seph T. McNarney, chairman of
the Defense Department’s man
agement committee. A total of
135,000 civilian employees were
dismissed, while 28,000 jobs were
not refilled after their holders
died or quit.
TAX INFORMERS
In an effort to expose new eva
sion attempts, the Government has
a fund of $500,000 available this
year to pay for evidence uncover
ing tax frauds. Last year the gov
ernment paid out $449,984 to 97
informers in rewards ranging
from $25.86 to $47,072, for aid that
led to the recovery of $8,187,914
in taxes that otherwise would
have escaped detection. A paid in
former has to produce something
that will serve as evidence in
court and also has to ask specifi
cally for a money reward in order
to get one.
_
INCOME TAX
Cash income tax payments, tal
lied on March 16, the day after
the 1949 income tax return dead
line, totaled $635,379,897, accord
ing to a Treasury report. The sin
gle-day tally amounted to more
than 5 per cent of total collec
tions of this kind throughout the
preceding eight and one-h a 1 f
months of this fiscal year, which
began on July 1.
- . ....... -
It’s easier to know when you’re
wrong than when you’re right.
uIke^ Says More
Funds Ne<*essar\
w
For Armed Forres
iContinued from tJagv On.1'
aerial might, with some set aside
for protection against an enemy
attack from the air.
Eisenhower told a Senate ap
propriations sub-committee Wed
nesday that U. S. defenses are
not as strong as they might be.
The air force was one arm whose
needs he stressed, along with
Alaskan defenses, anti-submarine
weapons, and industrial mobiliza
tion.
Eisenhower said he wanted the
minimum of 48 regular and 11 or
12 guard air groups to be kept
modern and a program in Alaska
that in three years would “get a
good reinforced regiment up
there.”
Referring back to the list of ad
justments the war leader would
make in the proposed budet, Sen
ator Ferguson (R.-Mich.> asked
him which items he would give a
priority.
He replied that he would rate
the Alaskan need, the number of
air groups and the anti-submarine
guard “on the same level.”
He added that he would put in
telligence lower down on the list
“because you can’t spend much
money on it,”
Eisenhower said it is a "clear
mistake" not to provide adequate
quarters and soldiers for each of
the air fields in Alaska.
Mrs. "Jeff" Jefford, who has
been vocationing in California
and having a “simply wonderful
time” returned yesterday and
plans to leave for the Kougarok
in a few days to join her family,
Mr. and Mrs. Houston Alexander.
Nine Die In
Sanatorium Fire
PHILADELPHIA iA*) — Nine
male patients—some strapped to
concrete bunks and others trapped
iii bare d and bolted rooms—per
ished Wednesday night in a I irt
which raged through one wing of
a suburban private sanatorium.
Two firemen, a nurse and at
least <°>!) other patients, men and
women, were injured or overtone
by smoke as flames swept from
basement to upper rooms of a sec
tion of the 47-year-old Belle Vist;.
Sanitorium.
The sanatorium is given over to
treatment of convalescent, senile,
nervous and mental cases.
Rescuers ripped thick wire
mesh from windows in order to
lead scores of patients—some un
comprehending and hysterical—to
safety.
Walter Rohrbach, one of the
firemen, said he rescued 12 wo
men patients, carrying them down
ladders one at a time.
“It was sickening,” he said.
Authorities said some of the
male patients who died were fas
tened to bunks upon which they
had lain without mattresses and
only a few blankets. A few wore
strait-jackets.
Li. John Jellison, of the Spring
field Township police, expressed
belief the fire might have been
incendiary. “It looks as if it might
have been started by someone,
probably a patient,” he said.
The fire was the third at the
sanatorium in 14 months.
Come to the April Fool's Day
Dance at High School Gym.
Nevada is the sixth largest state
‘ but has the smallest population.
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