They have to get past a line of defence that includes an emu, geese, a goat, and three dogs. Then they get to see me in all my naked glory, screaming and weilding an axe handle. Edit: regarding the bladeless axe handle... it was my granddad's axe, then when he died my dad took it for sentimental reasons. The axe head disappeared a long time ago... I don't actually remember it ever having a blade. "Dad, I heard a noise outside, I think someone's trying to steal the car" "Get the axe handle!"