There's nothing awkward about that. One of my favorite films is Downfall, the German film about the end of the third reich and it's very grim but I've been able to watch it over again because it's so compelling. The Pianist is an amazing film but too many of the scenes wound me in a way that it don't think I could endure again. Different people have different types of tolerance. I can watch a Todd Solondz film and laugh while others turn away in disgust, but I can't watch gory horror. I think it's great you're able to watch rewatch Holocaust films and revisit that emotional response. After all, that's what the films are intended to do.