Totally feel you, it's how I feel when I see incel gay dudes acting like a-holes because a straight guy doesn't like them back and they think it's okay to try and "change" them but they also think trying to convert a gay person is horrible and evil.   Liking someone with an incompatible orientation is just part of being gay. With the majority of people being straight, odds are you will crush on a straight person at some point in your life. I know I've liked straight guys before and yeah, it really sucks, but I can't rationalize that being the fault of the female population, they didn't do anything wrong.   Luckily though, incel gays and incellesbians are no more representative of gays and lesbians than straight incels are of straight people though. Shitty people are always going to exist in every category.