LOL okay: First, I create a new user on my company computer and delete all of my personal files. Then I set the user background to a hilarious meme making fun of my boss. Then, I take my coffee, which is sitting on my desk and is lukewarm because I've had it since 8am, and I spill it all over my company keyboard. I go up to my boss and tell him that he is not fit for the job, and if he doesn't give me his job then I will steal his wife. If he doesn't believe me, I show him a picture of his wife in my wallet, which I conveniently printed off of Facebook 10 minutes prior to spilling coffee on my keyboard. If i'm not fired at that point... my boss is super cool and I'll just keep my job.