It's bad to be emotionally unavailable in a relationship.
Tom heard that his wife had a horrible day at work and isn't sure how to deal with it.
Tom wants to give her wife advice on how to handle the next day.
Tom tries to empathize with his wife and emotionally comfort her to help prepare her for the next day.
Tom tries to tell his wife what to do without being emotionally available or empathizing with his wife.
Tom's wife feels less agitated and more prepared for the next day and thanks Tom.
Tom's wife doesn't feel comforted and just gets more agitated, and Tom is still at a loss.