It's disgusting to masturbate onto a bird.
Jake is in the park near some pigeons when he gets an overwhelming urge to masturbate and begins doing so.
Jake wants to ejaculate as soon as possible.
Jake runs off into a nearby bush where he ejaculates away from all living beings.
Jake decides a large grey pigeon is the one and runs up to it, spraying its beak with a powerful spray of semen.
No one has to witness Jake's self gratification and no one is scarred as a result.
The pigeon is temporarily blinded and stumbles backward in a panic, flying up momentarily before crashing into a nearby fence, instead.