adjatives = [
    "Australian",
    "British",
    "Irish",
    "Scottish",
    "Chinese",
    "Indian",
    "Jamaican",
    "Jewish",
    "Mexican",
    "Muslim",
    "Pirate",
    "Native American",
    "Narcoleptic",
    "Russian",
    "Angry",
    "Ant-sized",
    "Apologetic",
    "Bashful",
    "Bewildered",
    "Bipolar",
    "Black",
    "Bored",
    "Combusting",
    "Confused",
    "Constipated",
    "Cyborg",
    "Dreary",
    "Sassy",
    "Sissy",
    "Salty",
    "Depressed",
    "Desperate",
    "Drunk",
    "Ejaculating",
    "Elderly",
    "Enthusiastic",
    "Evil",
    "Feminine",
    "Flamingly gay",
    "Ghostly",
    "Giant",
    "High",
    "Hungover",
    "Incredulous",
    "Insane",
    "Jealous",
    "Kidnapped",
    "Nazi",
    "Lost",
    "Masculine",
    "Melodramatic",
    "Old-timey",
    "Paranoid",
    "Poor",
    "Presidential",
    "Racist",
    "Rushed",
    "Self-loathing",
    "Sexy",
    "Shrinking",
    "Sick",
    "Sleepy",
    "Snooty",
    "Soprano",
    "Suffocating",
    "Thirsty",
    "Toddler",
    "Uncomfortable",
    "Uncoordinated",
    "Valley girl",
    "Vampire",
    "Zombie",
    ]
people = [
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Bender \"Bending\" Rodriguez", "M"),
    ("Beyoncé", "F"),
    ("Galadriel", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Chef", "M"),
    ("Chewbacca", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Dr. <NAME> Jr.", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Elvis", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Gimli", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Gollum", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME> as the Joker", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("In<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME> at the First Thanksgiving", "M"),
    ("Kenny", "M"),
    ("Kermit", "M"),
    ("Krieger", "M"),
    ("Lt. Worf", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Mario", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Meatwad", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Montgomery \"Scotty\" Scott", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Mr. Garrison", "M"),
    ("Mr. Mackey", "M"),
    ("Mr. Spock", "M"),
    ("Navi", "F"),
    ("Newman", "M"),
    ("Nibbler", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("PacMan", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Pikachu", "M"),
    ("Popeye the Sailor Man", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Scooby-Doo", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Mr. Bean", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Queen of Hearts", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Ygritte", "F"),
    ("Shrek", "M"),
    ("Siri", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("C-3P0", "M"),
    ("Spongebob", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Link", "M"),
    ("Alf", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("cockroach guy from men in black", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Towlie", "M"),
    ("Traygun \"<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Tree-beard", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Mr. Ed", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Mr. Feeny", "M"),
    ("Hypno-toad", "M"),
    ("Fez", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Doctor Who", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Genie", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME> of Angmar", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Uhura", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Doctor <NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Fiona", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Garfield", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Goofy", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("R2-D2", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Yoda", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Dorothy", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Flo (progressive insurance)", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Ursula", "F"),
    ("Simba", "M"),
    ]
situations = [
    "about to break a week-long bout of constipation",
    "accepting an Academy award",
    "accepting an B.E.T. award",
    "accepting the futility of the human condition",
    "announcing a baseball game",
    "annoyingly reading all the road signs as they go by",
    "at a fancy dinner party, but everything is on fire",
    "at work",
    "battling the Rancor",
    "becoming a real boy",
    "being buried alive",
    "being constantly shit on by a flock of seagulls",
    "being electrocuted",
    "being very slowly flattened by a steam roller",
    "believes the government is after {him}",
    "breaking the news to someone that they have a terminal disease",
    "can't control the volume of {his} own voice",
    "can't find the remote-control",
    "caught in a running washing-machine",
    "coming to the realization that {he} is, in fact, two dwarves in an overcoat",
    "conducting a suicide bombing",
    "confessing to the murder of <NAME>",
    "confessing to {his} best friend that {he} fucked their wife",
    "creeping through the sewers",
    "currently being accosted by a herd of dwarves",
    "currently eating a sandwich",
    "deciding between mayonaise and miracle whip",
    "deciding whether to make-out with {his} clone",
    "discovering {his} feminine side",
    "doesn't know what to do with {his} hands",
    "doesn't understand the point of Kwaanza",
    "doing some kung-fu fighting",
    "eating a variety of finely aged cheeses",
    "eating spicy food",
    "enslaving the world with an army of mecha-laser-squirrels",
    "explaining the virtues of a standing desk",
    "explaining why <NAME> was really the better choice",
    "failing to learn the true meaning of Christmas",
    "falling down a flight of stairs",
    "falling on slippery ice",
    "getting a Bikini Wax",
    "giving candy to a baby, despite the parents' objections",
    "giving {his} father's eulogy, but really has to pee",
    "going antiquing",
    "going from birth to death in 30 seconds",
    "handling a hostage negotiation",
    "has an Alien from *Alien* erupting from {his} chest",
    "has ants all over {him}",
    "has to explain to everyone why they are turning into ants",
    "having a heart attack",
    "having explosive diarrhea",
    "having forgotten how nouns work",
    "having recently found out {he's} hot",
    "having recently found out {he's} ugly",
    "hitting on the waitress",
    "holding a lit stick of dynamite",
    "hunting for ghosts in a spooky mansion",
    "in free-fall",
    "in spaaaaaaaaaace!",
    "in the back of a humvee being chased by a T-Rex",
    "in the shower",
    "is going through childbirth",
    "is having an existential crisis",
    "is literally Hitler",
    "is sent to assassinate Hitler, but is slowly becoming sympathetic to his cause",
    "is trying to get {his} friend's opinion of Batman, without letting on that {he} *is* batman",
    "is witnessing the miracle of childbirth",
    "just inhaled helium",
    "leading a sing-along",
    "learning the true meaning of Christmas",
    "literally on fire",
    "literally stealing candy from a baby",
    "literally walking on sunshine, Whoa-oh",
    "losing basic motor skills",
    "making first-contact with aliens",
    "meeting {his} lover's parents for the first time, but cannot stop making sexual innuendos",
    "on a boat",
    "on an airplane next to a crying baby",
    "on the moon",
    "participating in a school shooting",
    "piloting the USS Enterprise",
    "plotting how to capture the Easter Bunny",
    "pretending to be a british person who is pretending to be american",
    "pretending to be a doctor in order to administer breast examinations",
    "proposing to the love of {his} life",
    "quietly getting blown under the table",
    "quietly giving oral in church and trying not to make a noise",
    "rage quitting",
    "realizing {he's} wasted {his} life",
    "realizing too late that {his} true treasure was {his} children",
    "recently decided to become a Def Jam Comic",
    "riding a roller-coaster",
    "riding a unicycle",
    "shitting out a pine-cone",
    "shoveling kittens into a wood-chipper",
    "singing \"My Heart Will go On\"",
    "singing a musical",
    "singing an opera",
    "slowly becoming a duck",
    "slowly being pulled toward a large fan",
    "soliciting butt-sex",
    "stuck in a traffic jam",
    "stuck in a tree",
    "stuck in quicksand",
    "suffering grievous injury",
    "talking directly to God",
    "talking to a kitty",
    "being the one musician at the Red Wedding who actually cares about giving a good performance",
    "throwing <NAME> into the sun",
    "trying cocaine for the first time, and loving it",
    "trying to _tamely_ explain how sex works to {his} child",
    "trying to buy a timeshare",
    "trying to conceal an erection",
    "trying to explain the plot of Breaking Bad",
    "trying to explain the rules of football, but only has a 10-second memory",
    "trying to explain why the Ring of Power should go to Gondor",
    "trying to find {his} own ass with two hands and a flashlight",
    "trying to justify the extermination of the Human Race",
    "trying to navigate a mine-field",
    "trying to over-compensate",
    "trying to sell a timeshare",
    "trying to steal honey from a bee-hive",
    "trying to swat away <NAME>'s hand under the table during a meeting",
    "trying to walk back a Racist joke {he} just made",
    "turning into a werewolf",
    "turning tricks on the corner",
    "walking barefoot across a Lego strewn floor in the dark",
    "watching some personally disturbing pornography, but is still aroused",
    "weighing the pros and cons of blitzing a weak-side corner on third and long",
    "who is a high-school gym teacher who picks on the fat kids",
    "with a mouthfull of marshmallows",
    "rallying the Spartans at the battle of Thermopylae",
    "evolving into a being of pure conciousness",
    "trying to discreetly eat a particuarly crunchy taco at a funeral",
    "performing CPR",
    "trying to explain the concept of \"Love\" to a robot",
    "performing an ancient ritual to summon <NAME>",
    "auditioning for a role on a spanish soap-opera",
    "receiving a prostate exam",
    "giving a prostate exam",
    "discovering that Santa Clause is not real",
    "trying to re-live {his} glory days through {his} kids",
    "recalling the first time {he} made love",
    "politely declining gay sex",
    "knawing off {his} own leg to escape a bear trap",
    "posing as a high school kid as part of an elaborate plan to bring down a drug dealer",
    "trying to explain to Captain Planet why {he} deserves to be a Planeteer",
    "storming the beaches on D-Day, but is having second thoughts",
    ]

adjatives = [
    "Australian",
    "British",
    "Irish",
    "Scottish",
    "Chinese",
    "Indian",
    "Jamaican",
    "Jewish",
    "Mexican",
    "Muslim",
    "Pirate",
    "Native American",
    "Narcoleptic",
    "Russian",
    "Angry",
    "Ant-sized",
    "Apologetic",
    "Bashful",
    "Bewildered",
    "Bipolar",
    "Black",
    "Bored",
    "Combusting",
    "Confused",
    "Constipated",
    "Cyborg",
    "Dreary",
    "Sassy",
    "Sissy",
    "Salty",
    "Depressed",
    "Desperate",
    "Drunk",
    "Ejaculating",
    "Elderly",
    "Enthusiastic",
    "Evil",
    "Feminine",
    "Flamingly gay",
    "Ghostly",
    "Giant",
    "High",
    "Hungover",
    "Incredulous",
    "Insane",
    "Jealous",
    "Kidnapped",
    "Nazi",
    "Lost",
    "Masculine",
    "Melodramatic",
    "Old-timey",
    "Paranoid",
    "Poor",
    "Presidential",
    "Racist",
    "Rushed",
    "Self-loathing",
    "Sexy",
    "Shrinking",
    "Sick",
    "Sleepy",
    "Snooty",
    "Soprano",
    "Suffocating",
    "Thirsty",
    "Toddler",
    "Uncomfortable",
    "Uncoordinated",
    "Valley girl",
    "Vampire",
    "Zombie",
    ]
people = [
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Bender \"Bending\" Rodriguez", "M"),
    ("Beyoncé", "F"),
    ("Galadriel", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Chef", "M"),
    ("Chewbacca", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Dr. <NAME> Jr.", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Elvis", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Gimli", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Gollum", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME> as the Joker", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("In<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME> at the First Thanksgiving", "M"),
    ("Kenny", "M"),
    ("Kermit", "M"),
    ("Krieger", "M"),
    ("Lt. Worf", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Mario", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Meatwad", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Montgomery \"Scotty\" Scott", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Mr. Garrison", "M"),
    ("Mr. Mackey", "M"),
    ("Mr. Spock", "M"),
    ("Navi", "F"),
    ("Newman", "M"),
    ("Nibbler", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("PacMan", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Pikachu", "M"),
    ("Popeye the Sailor Man", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Scooby-Doo", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Mr. Bean", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Queen of Hearts", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Ygritte", "F"),
    ("Shrek", "M"),
    ("Siri", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("C-3P0", "M"),
    ("Spongebob", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Link", "M"),
    ("Alf", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("cockroach guy from men in black", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Towlie", "M"),
    ("Traygun \"<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Tree-beard", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Mr. Ed", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Mr. Feeny", "M"),
    ("Hypno-toad", "M"),
    ("Fez", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Doctor Who", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Genie", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME> of Angmar", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Uhura", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Doctor <NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Fiona", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Garfield", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Goofy", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("R2-D2", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("Yoda", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Dorothy", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Flo (progressive insurance)", "F"),
    ("<NAME>", "M"),
    ("<NAME>", "F"),
    ("Ursula", "F"),
    ("Simba", "M"),
    ]
situations = [
    "about to break a week-long bout of constipation",
    "accepting an Academy award",
    "accepting an B.E.T. award",
    "accepting the futility of the human condition",
    "announcing a baseball game",
    "annoyingly reading all the road signs as they go by",
    "at a fancy dinner party, but everything is on fire",
    "at work",
    "battling the Rancor",
    "becoming a real boy",
    "being buried alive",
    "being constantly shit on by a flock of seagulls",
    "being electrocuted",
    "being very slowly flattened by a steam roller",
    "believes the government is after {him}",
    "breaking the news to someone that they have a terminal disease",
    "can't control the volume of {his} own voice",
    "can't find the remote-control",
    "caught in a running washing-machine",
    "coming to the realization that {he} is, in fact, two dwarves in an overcoat",
    "conducting a suicide bombing",
    "confessing to the murder of <NAME>",
    "confessing to {his} best friend that {he} fucked their wife",
    "creeping through the sewers",
    "currently being accosted by a herd of dwarves",
    "currently eating a sandwich",
    "deciding between mayonaise and miracle whip",
    "deciding whether to make-out with {his} clone",
    "discovering {his} feminine side",
    "doesn't know what to do with {his} hands",
    "doesn't understand the point of Kwaanza",
    "doing some kung-fu fighting",
    "eating a variety of finely aged cheeses",
    "eating spicy food",
    "enslaving the world with an army of mecha-laser-squirrels",
    "explaining the virtues of a standing desk",
    "explaining why <NAME> was really the better choice",
    "failing to learn the true meaning of Christmas",
    "falling down a flight of stairs",
    "falling on slippery ice",
    "getting a Bikini Wax",
    "giving candy to a baby, despite the parents' objections",
    "giving {his} father's eulogy, but really has to pee",
    "going antiquing",
    "going from birth to death in 30 seconds",
    "handling a hostage negotiation",
    "has an Alien from *Alien* erupting from {his} chest",
    "has ants all over {him}",
    "has to explain to everyone why they are turning into ants",
    "having a heart attack",
    "having explosive diarrhea",
    "having forgotten how nouns work",
    "having recently found out {he's} hot",
    "having recently found out {he's} ugly",
    "hitting on the waitress",
    "holding a lit stick of dynamite",
    "hunting for ghosts in a spooky mansion",
    "in free-fall",
    "in spaaaaaaaaaace!",
    "in the back of a humvee being chased by a T-Rex",
    "in the shower",
    "is going through childbirth",
    "is having an existential crisis",
    "is literally Hitler",
    "is sent to assassinate Hitler, but is slowly becoming sympathetic to his cause",
    "is trying to get {his} friend's opinion of Batman, without letting on that {he} *is* batman",
    "is witnessing the miracle of childbirth",
    "just inhaled helium",
    "leading a sing-along",
    "learning the true meaning of Christmas",
    "literally on fire",
    "literally stealing candy from a baby",
    "literally walking on sunshine, Whoa-oh",
    "losing basic motor skills",
    "making first-contact with aliens",
    "meeting {his} lover's parents for the first time, but cannot stop making sexual innuendos",
    "on a boat",
    "on an airplane next to a crying baby",
    "on the moon",
    "participating in a school shooting",
    "piloting the USS Enterprise",
    "plotting how to capture the Easter Bunny",
    "pretending to be a british person who is pretending to be american",
    "pretending to be a doctor in order to administer breast examinations",
    "proposing to the love of {his} life",
    "quietly getting blown under the table",
    "quietly giving oral in church and trying not to make a noise",
    "rage quitting",
    "realizing {he's} wasted {his} life",
    "realizing too late that {his} true treasure was {his} children",
    "recently decided to become a Def Jam Comic",
    "riding a roller-coaster",
    "riding a unicycle",
    "shitting out a pine-cone",
    "shoveling kittens into a wood-chipper",
    "singing \"My Heart Will go On\"",
    "singing a musical",
    "singing an opera",
    "slowly becoming a duck",
    "slowly being pulled toward a large fan",
    "soliciting butt-sex",
    "stuck in a traffic jam",
    "stuck in a tree",
    "stuck in quicksand",
    "suffering grievous injury",
    "talking directly to God",
    "talking to a kitty",
    "being the one musician at the Red Wedding who actually cares about giving a good performance",
    "throwing <NAME> into the sun",
    "trying cocaine for the first time, and loving it",
    "trying to _tamely_ explain how sex works to {his} child",
    "trying to buy a timeshare",
    "trying to conceal an erection",
    "trying to explain the plot of Breaking Bad",
    "trying to explain the rules of football, but only has a 10-second memory",
    "trying to explain why the Ring of Power should go to Gondor",
    "trying to find {his} own ass with two hands and a flashlight",
    "trying to justify the extermination of the Human Race",
    "trying to navigate a mine-field",
    "trying to over-compensate",
    "trying to sell a timeshare",
    "trying to steal honey from a bee-hive",
    "trying to swat away <NAME>'s hand under the table during a meeting",
    "trying to walk back a Racist joke {he} just made",
    "turning into a werewolf",
    "turning tricks on the corner",
    "walking barefoot across a Lego strewn floor in the dark",
    "watching some personally disturbing pornography, but is still aroused",
    "weighing the pros and cons of blitzing a weak-side corner on third and long",
    "who is a high-school gym teacher who picks on the fat kids",
    "with a mouthfull of marshmallows",
    "rallying the Spartans at the battle of Thermopylae",
    "evolving into a being of pure conciousness",
    "trying to discreetly eat a particuarly crunchy taco at a funeral",
    "performing CPR",
    "trying to explain the concept of \"Love\" to a robot",
    "performing an ancient ritual to summon <NAME>",
    "auditioning for a role on a spanish soap-opera",
    "receiving a prostate exam",
    "giving a prostate exam",
    "discovering that Santa Clause is not real",
    "trying to re-live {his} glory days through {his} kids",
    "recalling the first time {he} made love",
    "politely declining gay sex",
    "knawing off {his} own leg to escape a bear trap",
    "posing as a high school kid as part of an elaborate plan to bring down a drug dealer",
    "trying to explain to Captain Planet why {he} deserves to be a Planeteer",
    "storming the beaches on D-Day, but is having second thoughts",
    ]
