Looking for insights into Commercial Real Estate life, annoyances, humor &amp; jokes
Hi all - really oddball question here...

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I'm a professional Emcee, and I'm hosting a large commercial real estate conference in Canada. The conference will mostly  be attended by brokers, property managers, and vendors. I'm putting together my script and want to include comments or pieces of humor that are related to CRE. I'm not from this industry, so I'm doing some research for my material, and would be very grateful if any of you would be willing to weigh in on any (or all) of these questions:

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1) Are there any inside references, jokes, or meme-type comments that are popular among CRE professionals right now?

2) What sort of annoyances do you typically put up with? What are the big pain-in-the-ass aspects of your work that everyone likes to gripe about?

3) What points of anxiety or concern are there in CRE right now, things like disruptive technologies or developments that have people on edge?

4) If you'd love to vent about one thing in your work what would it be?

5) What does everyone get wrong about CRE? What do outsiders think about what it is you do that's wildly untrue?

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Thanks so much for your help!
[{"id": "e608tet", "text": "Watch the video on YouTube \u201cshit commercial real estate brokers say\u201d or something for some good jokes", "replies": [{"id": "e60rm42", "text": "This is gold! Thanks so  much!", "replies": [], "depth": 2}], "depth": 1}, {"id": "e60a1zd", "text": "When you tell someone you are in real estate they assume it\u2019s for houses, not realizing the trillions of dollars in non houses. Make jokes about real estate being so hot right now. ", "replies": [{"id": "e60rjuq", "text": "Excellent, this is a button I can push and easily incorporate into jokes.  I'll give the \"so hot\" a go - I'll need to tread a fine line with sarcasm and this crowd, as the conference is in Calgary and there are a lot of empty buildings downtown. But I always run jokes past the organizers and hosts first (it's MC due diligence...make sure I'm not cracking jokes that will offend or piss off the crowd), but if they green light that, it could be hilarious.", "replies": [{"id": "e619lzw", "text": "You can also joke about amazon killing everything retail related, retail is a giant punching bag right now.  Brokers are gatekeepers and there is fear that in 10 years they will be like travel agents, something that was replaced by a website. \n\nGood luck man ", "replies": [{"id": "e61e0q7", "text": "Another good tip - thanks! One of the organizers was muttering about Amazon, so this will probably hit home.", "replies": [], "depth": 4}], "depth": 3}], "depth": 2}], "depth": 1}, {"id": "e60cect", "text": "A big trend is compressed due diligence times. Make a joke about awarding a deal but requiring the buyer to go hard in 24 hours and close by Sunday. ", "replies": [{"id": "e60rx7g", "text": "This is very helpful - inside stuff like this goes over very well. Could you give me a bit of context so I understand the reference better (it helps me sound more natural with the crowd)? I'll break down my questions to make it easier:\n\n*  How much time would be reasonable for due diligence and awarding a deal? \n* The \"go hard\" in 24 hours - is that a reference to negotiating, or to the diligence piece?\n* Is Sunday a reference in and of itself? Is there something special about closing on a Sunday instead of a Thursday or Friday?\n\nThank you *so* much for your help! I want to keep this crowd engaged and entertained.", "replies": [{"id": "e6259rr", "text": "Sure no problem. When someone bids on a deal, it usually includes a period of time (30 days) to perform due diligence. After that point in time, any deposit money you have down \u201cgoes hard\u201d which means it\u2019s no longer refundable. Then you would have another period - usually another 30 days - to close your financing. These days, things are competitive and buyers are often having to shorten the due diligence period \u201cDD\u201d and waive any financing contingency in order to win the deal. ", "replies": [{"id": "e62i8ee", "text": "This makes it clear, and yes I can definitely use this! Many thanks. :)", "replies": [{"id": "e62zr5o", "text": "Great good luck!", "replies": [], "depth": 5}], "depth": 4}], "depth": 3}], "depth": 2}], "depth": 1}, {"id": "e60kjf1", "text": "Be sure to say up and coming a lot ", "replies": [{"id": "e60reow", "text": "Will do!  :D", "replies": [], "depth": 2}], "depth": 1}, {"id": "e60qiit", "text": "Is this a large company conference in Toronto? ", "replies": [{"id": "e60rdz5", "text": "No,  it's in Calgary - BOMEX (if you are going, I'll be your Emcee on October 2nd!)", "replies": [{"id": "e60ruoc", "text": "Haha, I wish. My company has our AGM coming up in Toronto. Would have been funny if it was the same one.", "replies": [{"id": "e61dkvd", "text": "Bring me out! I guarantee you that the boost in entertainment and attention is worth the fee. ;) ", "replies": [], "depth": 4}], "depth": 3}, {"id": "e67fwf5", "text": "&gt; BOMEX\n\nI think I will join you. This looks like a good opportunity. ", "replies": [], "depth": 3}], "depth": 2}], "depth": 1}, {"id": "e60vmyn", "text": "What\u2019s my commission?", "replies": [{"id": "e61dz9j", "text": "Heh heh - I  think I'll slip in a commission figure for MCing during my introduction...", "replies": [], "depth": 2}], "depth": 1}, {"id": "e619az5", "text": "COFFEE IS FOR CLOSERS!!!\n\nTHE LEADS ARE WEAK\n\nhttps://youtu.be/bkjfZctGMq8 ", "replies": [{"id": "e61dy3b", "text": "Truly some of the most memorable 7 minutes of movie history!  ", "replies": [], "depth": 2}], "depth": 1}, {"id": "e63qib7", "text": "- Marcus &amp; Millichap's ridiculously long Offering Memorandums.  Typical OM is 5-15 pages long, M&amp;M's are 50+.\n- brokers make 100+ calls a day... maybe a joke about hand arthritis or something\n- dealing with the government (environmental and other stuff) always a bitch to deal with.", "replies": [], "depth": 1}]