Does anyone mind helping me with one section of my resume?
[removed]
[{"id": "hlkfpd0", "text": "\\-Create a database establishing new prospects and existing clients \n\nAre you using excel, salesforce or some other proprietary software.\r  \n\r  \n\\-Experience consists of touring clients, lease negotiations, managing and negotiating the construction of tenant improvements and commercial developments. \n\nAre you attempting to source deals on you own? Are you making your own tour books running your own financial analysis on leases or abstracting leases?\r  \n\r  \n\\-Strategize and communicate with clients, creating and executing a customized pipeline. \n\nMeh - so does a transaction manager...Brokers and tenant brokers care more about how many deals you source and how you source them. \r  \n\r  \n\\-Monitoring local market trends along with maintaining knowledge of local markets\n\nMeh - so does research. \n\n\r\\-During past 5 months, have completed over 45,000 square feet including Tenant Representation and Landlord Representation.\n\nMove this point to the top. Insert total lease or deal consideration as well. Also include if you sourced these deals or simply ran with them.\n\n\\-Worked with national and regional companies on all real estate needs including: relocations, renewals, expansions and downsizing.\n\nI would say in the point above \"sourced and completed 45k SF of deals for national and regional companies\"\n\nThe goal for your resume should be:  I have experience so I do not want or need baby sitting, I cover my expenses, and I need an opportunity to grow.", "replies": [], "depth": 1}, {"id": "hlkfrog", "text": "I would also add that you should try to condense your bullet points to 3-4 max.  Your top 4 most important accomplishments or daily activities.  It just looks overwhelming to have 6-7 one-sentence rattlings.", "replies": [], "depth": 1}, {"id": "hllpy3x", "text": "Companies want to know what value you bring. You need to mention something about how much revenue you created. \n\n\u2022 Closed 5 deals leasing up 45,000 SF and  generating $5M in revenue.", "replies": [], "depth": 1}, {"id": "hlo3hez", "text": "This is how I\u2019m interpreting your bullet points:  \n\n- You created an excel spreadsheet \n\n- You walked around with clients\n\n- The second part, where you say \u201cmanaging and negotiating . . . \u201c seems like a gross exaggeration, or possibly a lie. \n\n- You took phone calls \n\n- You looked at CoStar reports\n\n- You were involved with 45,000 square feet \n\n- You spoke/emailed with National companies \n\nI don\u2019t interview people who exaggerate on their resume. It seems like you are based on the bullet points you provided.", "replies": [], "depth": 1}]