it s 09 am rn and it doesn t surprise me because i am used to this i have trouble sleeping because i always think about shit that ha gone wrong in my life and that is a lot i want to socialize have friend be funny i used to be when i wa back home with my friend i am learning in the u now but i always feel mute like i want to speak but i can t because i have a stomach feeling that shit is gon na go wrong so i just fake laugh and smile and it get awkward really fast and it becomes added to one of the thing that keep me up at night i also do weird stuff like smile weirdly curse under my breath or shake my hand or smth weird like that to distract from sudden flash of memory i have throughout my day and when i tell u it happens every damn day every damn minute or two i am not distracting myself in oh myyyy i just live everyday not wanting to wakeup wanting to die if course people around me don t know that i am just weirdly quiet to them anyway thought do i have anxiety
it s 09 am rnand it doesn t surprise me because i am used to this i have trouble sleeping because i always think about shit that ha gone wrong in my life and that is a lot i want to socialize have friend be funny i used to be when i wa back home with my friend i am learning in the u nowbut i always feel mute like i want to speakbut i can t because i have a stomach feeling that shit is gon na go wrongso i just fake laugh and smileand it get awkward really fast and it becomes added to one of the thing that keep me up at night i also do weird stuff like smile weirdly curse under my breath or shake my hand or smth weird like that to distract from sudden flash of memory i have throughout my day and when i tell u it happens every damn day every damn minute or two i am not distracting myself inoh myyyyi just live everyday not wanting to wakeup wanting to die if course people around me don t know that i am just weirdly quiet to them anyway thought do i have anxiety
s 09 am rnand no me sorprende porque estoy acostumbrado a esto tengo problemas para dormir porque siempre pienso en mierda que ha ido mal en mi vida y eso es mucho quiero socializar tener amigo ser divertido yo solía ser cuando voy de vuelta a casa con mi amigo estoy aprendiendo en el u ahora pero siempre me siento mudo como quiero hablar pero puedo t porque tengo una sensación de estómago que mierda es gon na ir malso yo sólo risa y sonrisa falsa y se vuelve incómodo realmente rápido y se añade a una de las cosas que me mantienen despierto en la noche yo también hago cosas raras como sonrisa maldice extrañamente bajo mi aliento o estrechar mi mano o smth raro como que para distraer de flash repentino de memoria tengo a lo largo de mi día y cuando te digo que sucede cada maldito día cada maldito minuto o dos no me distraigo inoh myyyi simplemente vivo todos los días no queriendo despertar queriendo morir si por supuesto la gente alrededor de mí no sé que soy extrañamente tranquilo a ellos de todos modos pienso que tengo ansiedad tengo ansiedad