i ve been on med for a few year now which have worked for the most part up until last year i contracted an illness which gave me stomach problem and the issue ha kind of persisted ever since my health ha never been great eating disorder and weight issue mainly a well a really unsightly skin but this stomach issue ha taken what life i had away and now a much a i m not screaming and cry about wanting to die it almost feel like a logical step at this point i want to live i want to have a life and live it freely to the fullest but i m trapped now in this body and have to cancel most plan i do make if i couldn t work from home i d probably be jobless and the work that is site based i let people down on a lot which i hate i feel like a failed experiment of a human that should just be put in the bin i feel guilty because of the somewhat privilege i do have but that s still not been enough i ve failed myself and now my body is failing me there s also a history of cancer and tumour in my family which make me scared that i ll lose the ability to use my limb just like my mom and i don t have anyone in my life to take care of me like she doe what s the point in just sitting around and waiting for that time to come every week is a fight to get back on track but it s always step forward and or back i m scared to die but i don t feel like i have a choice i m just putting off the inevitable i don t even know the best way to do it i m even too much of a coward there s always been this one little bit of hope holding me back but that light of hope is getting dimmer by the day
i ve been on med for a few year now which have worked for the most part up until last year i contracted an illness which gave me stomach problem and the issue ha kind of persisted ever since my health ha never been great eating disorder and weight issue mainly a well a really unsightly skin but this stomach issue ha taken what life i had away and now a much a i m not screaming and cry about wanting to die it almost feel like a logical step at this point i want to live i want to have a life and live it freely to the fullestbut i m trapped now in this body and have to cancel most plan i do make if i couldn t work from home i d probably be jobless and the work that is site based i let people down on a lot which i hate i feel like a failed experiment of a human that should just be put in the bin i feel guilty because of the somewhat privilege i do have but that s still not been enough i ve failed myself and now my body is failing me there s also a history of cancer and tumour in my family which make me scared that i ll lose the ability to use my limb just like my mom and i don t have anyone in my life to take care of me like she doe what s the point in just sitting around and waiting for that time to come every week is a fight to get back on trackbut it s always step forward and or back i m scared to diebut i don t feel like i have a choice i m just putting off the inevitablei don t even know the best way to do iti m even too much of a coward there s always been this one little bit of hope holding me back but that light of hope is getting dimmer by the day
He estado en medicina por unos pocos años ahora que han trabajado para la mayor parte hasta el año pasado contraje una enfermedad que me dio problemas estomacales y el problema ha tipo de persistido desde que mi salud nunca ha sido gran trastorno alimenticio y peso problema principalmente un pozo una piel realmente antiestética pero este problema estomacal ha tomado lo que la vida tenía lejos y ahora mucho a i m no gritar y llorar sobre querer morir casi se siente como un paso lógico en este punto quiero vivir quiero tener una vida y vivirla libremente al máximo pero estoy atrapado ahora en este cuerpo y tengo que cancelar la mayoría de los planes que hago si no puedo trabajar desde casa