i dont know what s wrong with me i live in the philippine and im a year old boy i used to be a honor student when we still had face to face class but we had online class for the past year and in my first year of online class i got lucky and passed but now i don t know what im doing anymore im not doing anything productive i don t know what s happening i can t do anything right i can t even force myself to eat or take a bath or get out of my room i haven t eaten for half a day and i just feel bad all the time i always have this bad feeling in my stomach everytime i get messaged by my teacher about my missing project and i do my everything to avoid it i don t know why but everytime i see something about school i get dizzy and i skip it immediately i can t even sleep anymore because everytime i sleep i get nightmare about not doing my schoolwork i dont know if im just overreacting or im just lazy but i hate this feeling so much the disappointment of my parent when they find out every semester that i always have missing schoolwork the feeling in my heart and stomach i would rather die everytime i feel it i just want to dissapear everynight wishing to not wake up anymore wishing that i dont have to wake up and have the exact same feeling i might be overreacting about this but i just really want someone to talk to it always ha a chain reaction of overthinking and it lead to my childhood trauma like how i got sexually assaulted by my cousin when i wa at the age of everytime i came to their house to play they would teach me inappropriate thing that lead me into being exposed to pornography at such a young age they made me do thing that pleasure them and i used to think that it wa just normal and something that friend do i still blame myself for not stopping them and that i didn t say no i have always hated myself i wanted to live someone else s life anyone but me i dont want to be myself anymore i just want to dissapear i hate this feeling but i don t know what it is
i dont know what s wrong with me i live in the philippine and ima year old boy i used to be a honor student when we still had face to face classbut we had online class for the past year and in my first year of online class i got lucky and passedbut now i don t know what im doing anymore im not doing anything productivei don t know what s happening i can t do anythingrighti can t even force myself to eat or take a bath or get out of my room i haven t eaten for half a dayand i just feel bad all the time i always have this bad feeling in my stomach everytime i get messaged by my teacher about my missing projectand i do my everything to avoid iti don t knowwhy but everytime i see something about school i get dizzy and i skip it immediately i can t even sleep anymore because everytime i sleep i get nightmare about not doing my schoolwork i dont know if im just overreacting or im just lazy but i hate this feeling so much the disappointment of my parent when they find out every semester that i always have missing schoolwork the feeling in my heart and stomach i would rather die everytime i feel it i just want to dissapear everynight wishing to not wake up anymore wishing that i dont have to wake up and have the exact same feeling i might be overreacting about thisbut i just really want someone to talk to it always ha a chain reaction of overthinking and it lead to my childhood trauma like how i got sexually assaulted by my cousin when i wa at the age of everytime i came to their house to play they would teach me inappropriate thing that lead me into being exposed to pornography at such a young age they made me do thing that pleasure themand i used to think that it wa just normal and something that friend do i still blame myself for not stopping them andthat i didn t say no i have always hated myself i wanted to live someone else s life anyonebut me i dont want to be myselfanymorei just want to dissapear i hate this feelingbut i don t know what it is
No sé qué es lo que está mal conmigo.Vivo en el niño de filipina y de ima año.Yo solía ser un estudiante de honor cuando todavía teníamos clase cara a cara, pero teníamos clase en línea durante el año pasado y en mi primer año de clase en línea tuve suerte y pasé pero ahora no sé lo que im haciendo más no hago nada productivo. No sé qué está pasando. No puedo hacer nada.No puedo ni siquiera forzarme a comer o tomar un baño o salir de mi habitación.No he comido durante medio día y me siento mal todo el tiempo.Siempre tengo esta mala sensación en mi estómago cada vez que me manda un mensaje mi profesor sobre mi proyecto perdido.Y hago todo lo posible para evitarlo. No sé por qué, pero cada vez que veo algo sobre la escuela me mareo y me lo salto inmediatamente no puedo dormir más porque cada vez que duermo tengo pesadilla sobre no hacer mi trabajo escolar.