i ve essentially given up given up a much a i m allowing myself to sometimes i don t eat for day and then when i do eat it s sporadic and unhealthy i ve stopped exercising i never really took care of the eczema on my skin i just use a an excuse to self harm do a lot of addictive thing a well nothing too insane it s mostly just to numb my feeling i haven t left my apartment imsince january rd since there s a convenience store and laundry room here i have unhealthy fantasy about a life that doesn t exist because i can t seem to enjoy mine at all i don t believe in myself and it keep me from doing hardly anything at all other than what it take to survive i ve never really succeeded in life and have always just been a bit of a joke despite wanting to do thing i wa always discouraged by others or mostly my own lack of ability motivation i don t think therapy would work for someone like me you have to want therapy and actively do it i actively work against myself because i think it only a matter of time before people just give up on me that or i push everyone away first i make mock gun motion out of reflex and i ve never owned a gun i have the simple thought of death most day my roommate nearly caught me the other night looking over our balcony i just don t get it i have no direction and it seems like most activity eventually just upset me i either stay stagnant the way i am and achieve nothing but stay safe and comfortable while also going insane from a lack of fulfillment or i try to bear being upset and uncomfortable through a bunch of random thing throughout my life probably ending up something that isn t really worth it for the struggle they both sound awful and i get it life isn t fair maybe i don t want to participate when thing aren t fair
i ve essentially given up given up a much a i m allowing myself to sometimes i don t eat for dayand then when i do eat it s sporadic and unhealthy i ve stopped exercising i never really took care of the eczema on my skin i just use a an excuse to self harm do a lot of addictive thing a well nothing too insane it s mostly just to numb my feeling i haven t left my apartment imsince january rd since there s a convenience store and laundry room here i have unhealthy fantasy about a life that doesn t exist because i can t seem to enjoy mine at all i don t believe in myself and it keep me from doing hardly anything at all other than what it take to survive i ve never really succeeded in life and have always just been a bit of a joke despite wanting to do thing i wa always discouraged by others or mostly my own lack of ability motivation i don t think therapy would work for someone like me you have to want therapy and actively do it i actively work against myself because i think it only a matter of time before people just give up on me that or i push everyone away first i make mock gun motion out of reflex and i ve never owned a gun i have the simple thought of death most day my roommate nearly caught me the other night looking over our balconyi just don t get iti have no directionand it seems like most activity eventually just upset me i either stay stagnant the way i am and achieve nothing but stay safe and comfortable while also going insane from a lack of fulfillment or i try to bear being upset and uncomfortable through a bunch of random thing throughout my life probably ending up something that isn t really worth it for the struggle they both sound awfuland i get it life isn tfair maybe i don t want to participate when thing aren t fair
Yo esencialmente he renunciado a un mucho a i m permitiéndome a veces no comer por día y luego cuando lo como esporádica e insalubre he dejado de hacer ejercicio realmente nunca me hice cargo del eczema en mi piel yo sólo uso una excusa para auto daño hacer un montón de cosas adictivas un bien nada demasiado loco