after these few day i ve slowly started to realize something i m a living bad omen i have so many issue i m so mentally ill so many disability my life ha never been the slightest bit normal nothing is ever easy i m stuck in an asian household i m probably gon na forcefully get married be a housewife and get forced to have child i m not even a woman but this is a very religious country that belief what you are is what gender your assigned at birth i did fall in love really hard but he s across the world from me his mom hate me and everyone is against our relationship and i m causing him more harm than anything and he keep trying regardless to be with me i hate that i feel so bad because i m not worth it and it s not going to amount to anything these few day proved to me that i just have to accept that my life wa meant to be a misery so many problem so many illness cant even go to school i ve already attempted today didn t work i wasn t strong enough so now i m just injured i ve got absolutely nothing going for me i m just wasting my parent money for food and clothes they just wanted a normal kid who can make them proud i can t even leave the fucking house i can barely even see god decided to give me every single bit of ugliness there is in the world and i m slowly starting to accept that i wa rebelling against it for awhile i can still amount to something the world can t hate me forever but i know it isn t true i wish i could pas in my sleep or be able to get a noose to tie on my ceiling fan waking up every day is an absolute misery for me and i m just causing more pain to everything and everyone around me imagine living a life where you can t even look in the mirror that s me i have never once willingly looked in the mirror god won t give me anything and i ve stopped expecting anything at this point death is my only savior because life hold nothing for me only failure hatred instability and vulnerability
after these few day i ve slowly started to realize something i m a living bad omen i have so many issue i m so mentally ill so many disability my life ha never been the slightest bit normal nothing is ever easy i m stuck in an asian household i m probably gon na forcefully get married be a housewife and get forced to have child i m not even a woman but this is a very religious country that belief what you are is what gender your assigned at birth i did fall in love really hardbut he s across the world from me his mom hate me and everyone is against our relationship and i m causing him more harm than anything and he keep trying regardless to be with me i hate that i feel so bad because i m not worth it and it s not going to amount to anything these few day proved to me that i just have to accept that my life wa meant to be a misery so many problem so many illness cant even go to school i ve already attempted today didn t worki wasn t strong enough so now i m just injuredi ve got absolutely nothing going for me i m just wasting my parent money for food and clothes they just wanted a normal kid who can make them proud i can t even leave the fucking house i can barely even see god decided to give me every single bit of ugliness there is in the worldand i m slowly starting to accept that i wa rebelling against it for awhile i can still amount to something the world can t hate me foreverbut i know it isn ttrue i wish i could pas in my sleep or be able to get a noose to tie on my ceiling fan waking up every day is an absolute misery for me and i m just causing more pain to everything and everyone around me imagine living a life where you can t even look in the mirror that s me i have never once willingly looked in the mirror god won t give me anything and i ve stopped expecting anything at this point death is my only savior because life hold nothing for me only failure hatred instability and vulnerability
Después de estos pocos días he comenzado lentamente a darme cuenta de algo que estoy viviendo mal agüero tengo tantos problemas que estoy mentalmente enfermo tantos discapacidad mi vida nunca ha sido el más mínimo poco normal nada es siempre fácil estoy atrapado en un hogar asiático probablemente gon na se casan con fuerza ser una ama de casa y se ven obligados a tener un hijo ni siquiera una mujer pero este es un país muy religioso que la creencia lo que eres es lo que el género asignado a su nacimiento me enamoré realmente duro pero él es a través del mundo de mí su madre me odia y todo el mundo está en contra de nuestra relación y le estoy causando más daño que cualquier cosa y él sigue tratando de estar conmigo odio que me siento tan mal porque no lo valgo y no va a equivaler a nada estos pocos días demostrado a mí que sólo tengo que aceptar que mi vida wa significaba ser una miseria tantos problemas que muchas enfermedades ni siquiera pueden ir a la escuela que ya he intentado hoy no era lo suficientemente fuerte así que ahora tengo que tener absolutamente nada que ir por mí