last night my girlfriend 0f of two and a half year told me 0m that my depression symptom have been taking a toll on her she told me that she see my progress and my growth but this is in summary a she talk around her meaning it s not enough it s exhausting her and making her feel poorly my exhaustion and lack of self and confidence and inner love so i had to apologize to her last night and i m trying to show that i m growing but i feel so fucking hopeless right now and it s only been getting worse i joined this community because i m sure i won t actually do it but i need something to remind me and something to feel le alone because holy fuck am i alone i feel devoid of love and worth and i m struggling to find way to place it on myself i can t validate it if it s for me and i can only form a half life of happiness if i use someone else a the foundation so that s superficial i m really trying to keep going but it s so hard it s exhausting i just want to sleep all the time there s so much more in regard to our relationship i ve been trying to support her and make amends for who i wa when we first met i brought my trauma into it and lashed out at her in way of gaslighting infidelity and emotional neglect she didn t have any trigger for me to lash out at her i just thought she wanted to use me for self satisfaction but i m told that s love now i m confused there are two side of my mind one an optimist and a lover the other a cynic and a narcissist i want to purge my brain of these thing i m sorry this is so scattered i ll try to speak more coherently later brain no work
last night my girlfriend 0f of two and a half year told me 0m that my depression symptom have been taking a toll on her she told me that she see my progress and my growth but this is in summary a she talk around her meaningit s not enough it s exhausting her and making her feel poorly my exhaustion and lack of self and confidence and inner loveso i had to apologize to her last nightand i m trying to show that i m growingbut i feel so fucking hopeless right nowand it s only been getting worse i joined this community because i m sure i won t actually do itbut i need something to remind me and something to feel le alone because holy fuck am i alone i feel devoid of love and worth and i m struggling to find way to place it on myself i can t validate it if it s for meand i can only form a half life of happiness if i use someone else a the foundation so that s superficial i m really trying to keep going but it s so hard it s exhausting i just want to sleep all the time there s so much more in regard to our relationship i ve been trying to support her and make amends for who i wa when we first met i brought my trauma into it and lashed out at her in way of gaslighting infidelity and emotional neglect she didn t have any trigger for me to lash out at heri just thought she wanted to use me for self satisfactionbut i m told that s love now i m confused there are two side of my mind one an optimist and a lover the other a cynic and a narcissist i want to purge my brain of these thing i m sorry this is so scattered i ll try to speak more coherently later brain no work
anoche mi novia 0f de dos años y medio me dijo que mi síntoma de depresión ha estado teniendo un peaje en ella ella me dijo que ella ve mi progreso y mi crecimiento pero esto es en resumen una ella habla alrededor de su significado no es suficiente que la está agotando y haciendo que se sienta mal mi agotamiento y la falta de sí mismo y confianza y amor interior así que tuve que disculparme con ella anoche y estoy tratando de demostrar que estoy creciendo pero me siento tan jodidamente desesperanzado ahora mismo y sólo es cada vez peor me uní a esta comunidad porque estoy seguro de que no lo haré realmente pero necesito algo para recordarme y algo para sentirle solo porque santo mierda estoy solo me siento desprovisto de amor y valor y estoy luchando para encontrar la manera de colocarlo en mí mismo no puedo validarlo si es por mala que sólo puedo formar una media vida de felicidad si uso a alguien más una fundación así que s superficial i m realmente tratando de seguir adelante