idk i guess this is a vent or something but whatever lately everything ha been okay like daily wise school is okay i guess just wish every math lesson didn t either leave me with a headache or panic attack slamming door and yelling just remind me of my childhood and always sends me into a panic attack today i had two in different class i m hard of hearing and i have hearing aid i wish that i could turn them off or take them out whilst the yelling and shit wa happening but i m always in that state of freeze and panic i m the new kid no one seems to notice it which is fine home is okay there is just court and custody shit going on since my mother and father can t make one agreement now me and my brother have to go to court and get like attornies or some shit like that to settle it down i don t know i m exhausted i don t feel like living rn i feel like everyone hate me and is drifting away and i can t handle that i m clean of self harm though i m probably gon na break that after this post i ve been thinking a lot about offing myself i m so tired i don t wan na live anymore i can t live anymore to be honest i m just struggling so much fuck i can t even make it a full week of school i got sexually assaulted by my cousin on the weekend and i feel like it s my fault i just really need an escape but even getting high can t block out all the shit that go on in my head i don t wan na fail like last time i tried offing myself just too many question and everything what am i meant to do i do see a therapist and everything but i feel like it doesn t help i don t wan na be alive anymore i really don t
idk i guess this is a vent or something but whatever lately everything ha been okay like daily wise school isokayi guess just wish every math lesson didn t either leave me with a headache or panic attack slamming door and yelling just remind me of my childhood and always sends me into a panic attack today i had two in different classi m hard of hearing and i have hearing aid i wish that i could turn them off or take them out whilst the yelling and shitwa happeningbut i m always in that state of freeze and panic i m the new kid no one seems to notice it which is fine home is okay there is just court and custody shit going on since my mother and father can t make one agreement now me and my brother have to go to court and get like attornies or some shit like that to settle it down i dont know i m exhaustedi don t feel like living rn i feel like everyone hate me and is drifting awayand i can t handle that i m clean of self harm though i m probably gon na break that after this post i ve been thinking a lot about offing myself i m so tired i don t wan na liveanymore i can t live anymore to be honest i m just strugglingso much fuck i can t even make it a full week of school i got sexually assaulted by my cousin on the weekendand i feel like it s my fault i just really need an escape but even getting high can t block out all the shit that go on in my head i don t wan na fail like last time i tried offing myself just too many question and everything what am i meant to do i do see a therapist and everythingbut i feel like it doesn thelp i don t wan na be aliveanymore i really don t
Supongo que esto es un respiradero o algo pero lo que sea últimamente todo ha estado bien como la escuela diaria sabia isokayi supongo que sólo deseo que cada lección de matemáticas no me dejase con un dolor de cabeza o ataque de pánico puerta de portazo y gritando sólo me recuerda a mi infancia y siempre me envía a un ataque de pánico hoy tuve dos en clase diferente difícil de escuchar y tengo audífonos me gustaría que pudiera apagarlos o sacarlos mientras los gritos y mierda suceden pero siempre estoy en ese estado de congelación y pánico soy el nuevo chico nadie parece notar que es una buena casa está bien hay sólo corte y custodia mierda pasando ya que mi madre y mi padre no pueden hacer un acuerdo ahora yo y mi hermano tenemos que ir a la corte y conseguir como attornies o alguna mierda como que para resolverlo no sé que estoy exhausto no me siento como vivir rn me siento como todo el mundo me odia y me está yendo a la corte y no puedo manejar que estoy limpio de auto daño aunque probablemente me vaya a romper que después de este post he estado pensando mucho fuera de mí mismo me siento tan cansado que me voy a vivir más que puedo vivir más que puedo vivir más que me voy a vivir