i love my family i have a slightly distant yet mostly kind older brother a supporting and caring mother and a funny and relatable father i have a stable home life and have a roof over my head and i never starve i would say i have an amazing family and life yet i constantly ruin it i ve been sick and i ll probably need to repeat the grade even doing online course i don t know if i can even pas high school my parent have spent a lot of medical fund for a useless child i have no friend since covid started due to online course and the only people that i constantly to other than my family are doctor and my tutor i make sure that my family never find out i m suicidal though they don t need any more problem i don t even know if you would call me a suicidal a i only have suicidal thought daily i don t cut myself or do anything like that but the reason is because i want to see my family in japan one last time before i die we re going on a trip to japan this summer and that s the sole thing i m living for i m scared of the thought of what will happen to me once i no longer have anything to look forward to i know that at this point i ll probably kill myself the second we come back here at least i ll be known a the cousin who probably died first instead of the suicidal one or a drug addict i know how much my entire family pretend my cousin who is a drug addict doesn t exist so i know the horrid backlash that would occur if i survived i know that if i fail dying i ll fake a recovery before properly offing myself sorry this ended up turning into a suicide idolization rant if you managed to even read it this far i bet your thinking why don t i just get a therapist therapy solves everything not i had a therapist for a whole month and i hated the judging eye the subtle why are you here you have a great life and the fact that they treat you like some kind of test subject orochimaru like creepy people i honestly managed to connect more with my tutor that i ve only known for month who i only met once every two week on zoom never met her in person now i bet your thinking wait why did you contradict yourself you said that your family didn t know you are suicidal and yet you had a therapist it wa because i had to go to so many doctor so often that mother thought about my mental health and gave me a therapist i had the therapist or month before my mother decided that i wa just fine i thank my ability to hide suicidal thought well thank you reddit for letting me make this confession i felt like i needed to say it somewhere where no one would ever find out who i am
i love my family i have a slightly distant yet mostly kind older brother a supporting and caring mother and a funny and relatable father i have a stable home life and have a roof over my head and i never starve i would say i have an amazing family and lifeyet i constantly ruin it i ve been sick and i ll probably need to repeat the grade even doing online coursei don t know if i can even pas high school my parent have spent a lot of medical fund for a useless child i have no friend since covid started due to online course and the only people that i constantly to other than my family are doctor and my tutor i make sure that my family never find out i m suicidal though they don t need any more problem i don t even know if you would call me a suicidal a i only have suicidal thought dailyi don t cut myself or do anything like that but the reason is because i want to see my family in japan one last time before i die we re going on a trip to japan this summer and that s the sole thing i m living for i m scared of the thought of what will happen to me once i no longer have anything to look forward to i know that at this point i ll probably kill myself the second we come back here at least i ll be known a the cousin who probably died first instead of the suicidal one or a drug addict i know how much my entire family pretend my cousin who is a drug addict doesn t exist so i know the horrid backlash that would occur if i survived i know that if i fail dying i ll fake a recovery before properly offing myself sorry this ended up turning into a suicide idolization rant if you managed to even read it this far i bet your thinking why don t i just get a therapist therapy solves everything not i had a therapist for a whole month and i hated the judging eye the subtle why are you here you have a great life and the fact that they treat you like some kind of test subject orochimaru like creepy people i honestly managed to connect more with my tutor that i ve only known for month who i only met once every two week on zoom never met her in person now i bet your thinking wait why did you contradict yourself you said that your family didn t know you are suicidal and yet you had a therapist it wa because i had to go to so many doctor so often that mother thought about my mental health and gave me a therapist i had the therapist or month before my mother decided that i wajust finei thank my ability to hide suicidal thoughtwell thank you reddit for letting me make this confession i felt like i needed to say it somewhere where no one would ever find out who i am
Yo amo a mi familia tengo un poco distante pero sobre todo amable hermano mayor una madre de apoyo y cuidado y un padre divertido y relatable tengo una vida familiar estable y tengo un techo sobre mi cabeza y nunca me muero de hambre diría que tengo una familia increíble y la vida sin embargo tengo constantemente la ruina he estado enfermo y probablemente voy a necesitar repetir la nota incluso haciendo curso en línea no sé si puedo incluso pas escuela secundaria mi padre ha pasado un montón de fondos médicos para un niño inútil no tengo ningún amigo desde covid comenzó debido a curso en línea y la única gente que constantemente a otra que mi familia son médicos y mi tutor me aseguro de que mi familia nunca me descubren suicida, aunque no necesitan más problema ni siquiera sé si me llamarías un suicida a sólo tengo suicida pensamiento diario no cortarme o hacer nada como eso