i don t get it i ve know i have a future i know have a route but i don t see the point anymore no matter what i do it s never enough for the people around me family friend even myself no matter what i do i feel like i m always doing it wrong i have severe social anxiety and i m too scared to reach out to anyone close to me i know they ll just turn their back like they always do everyday i have to put on a mask and pretend like everything is okay i don t want to put it on anymore i don t want anyone to feel sorry for me i don t want to cause that stress in anyone but myself my mind is so fucked up that i don t even know what s wrong with me anymore all i know is that something is i ve kept all my emotion bottled up for year i m too numb to feel anything anymore i can t remember the last time i felt legitimate happiness the only thing i feel at this point are physical besides stress shame and a crippling caffeine addiction it s so bad that i m taking at least 000mg a day at this point at this point i just have a bottle of mixed medication at my bedside that i stare at every night and each day i feel myself moving closer to downing them all this is my last call i don t know what else to do
i don t get iti ve know i have a future i know have a routebut i don t see the point anymore no matter what i do it s never enough for the people around me family friend even myself no matter what i do i feel like i m always doing it wrongi have severe social anxiety and i m too scared to reach out to anyone close to mei know they ll just turn their back like they always do everyday i have to put on a mask and pretend like everything isokayi don t want to put it onanymorei don t want anyone to feel sorry for me i don t want to cause that stress in anyone but myself my mind is so fucked up that i don t even know what s wrong with me anymore all i know is that something is i ve kept all my emotion bottled up for year i m too numb to feel anythinganymorei can t remember the last time i felt legitimate happiness the only thing i feel at this point are physical besides stress shame and a crippling caffeine addiction it s so bad that i m taking at least 000mg a day at this point at this point i just have a bottle of mixed medication at my bedside that i stare at every night and each day i feel myself moving closer to downing them all this is my last calli don t know what else to do
Yo no tengo ni idea de que tengo un futuro sé que tengo una ruta pero ya no veo el punto no importa lo que hago nunca es suficiente para la gente a mi alrededor amigo de la familia incluso yo mismo no importa lo que hago siento que siempre lo hago mal tengo ansiedad social severa y estoy demasiado asustado para llegar a nadie cerca de mei saber que van a dar la espalda como siempre hacen todos los días tengo que poner en una máscara y fingir que todo lo que estoy bien no quiero ponerlo en cualquier cosa no quiero que nadie sienta pena por mí no quiero causar ese estrés en nadie pero yo mismo mi mente es tan jodida que ni siquiera sé lo que está mal conmigo más todo lo que sé es que algo es que he mantenido toda mi emoción embotellada durante el año estoy demasiado entumecido para sentir nada más no puedo recordar la última vez que me sentí felicidad legítima la única cosa que siento en este punto es física además de la vergüenza de estrés y una adicción a la cafeína es tan malo que estoy tomando al menos 000 mg un día en este punto en que tengo una última botella de la que me he mezclado con toda la medicación en mi cama que cada día me he sentido más cerca de lo que cada día me he visto y me he sentido y me he sentido en el día me he sentido que me he tomado en el día y me he estado en el día y me he sentido que me he sentido que me he tomado en el día y me he sentido más cerca