hello it s getting hard for me i don t know if i m really suicidal or not but i wish i could just not wake up i think about that every night before going to bed and when waking up i hate myself for this i clearly don t have that much problem in life i don t have money problem i have friend i am healthy yet there are time where i just feel so crushed and it hurt so much to keep on living people have it muc worse and they are still doing so much better and i have trouble getting up in the morning and doing simple thing i don t have any hope to find happiness in the future my therapist try to help me and is very nice but it s just not enough i have felt like this for too long it just never end and not existing would just solve it all in the end we all end up dying i don t want to just continue living just to see what it s like i just want to end it sometimes yes it s selfish but i won t be conscious anymore to see myself be sad from my decision anyway yes there are thing that i like in life but honestly when i m in a bad state i don t care anymore i don t look forward to those thing and i just want a realease from the mental pain don t worry tho i don t have the gut to do anything anyway and i m not looking for help or advice i am just rambling and expressing how i m feeling because it make me feel a tiny bit better to let it all out if you read it all well thank you
hello it s getting hard for mei don t know if i m really suicidal or notbut i wish i could just not wake up i think about that every night before going to bed and when waking up i hate myself for this i clearly don t have that much problem in life i don t have money problem i have friend i am healthy yet there are time where i just feel so crushed and it hurt so much to keep on living people have it muc worseand they are still doing so much betterand i have trouble getting up in the morning and doing simple thing i don t have any hope to find happiness in the future my therapist try to help me and is very nicebut it s just not enough i have felt like this for too long it just never end and not existing would just solve it all in the end we all end up dying idont want to just continue living just to see what it s like i just want to end it sometimesyes it s selfishbut i won t be conscious anymore to see myself be sad from my decisionanywayyes there are thing that i like in life but honestly when i m in a bad state i don t careanymorei don t look forward to those thingand i just want a realease from the mental pain don t worry thoi don t have the gut to do anythinganyway and i m not looking for help or advice i am just rambling and expressing how i m feeling because it make me feel a tiny bit better to let it all out if you read it all well thank you
Hola es cada vez más difícil para mí no sé si soy realmente suicida o no pero me gustaría no poder despertarme pienso en que cada noche antes de ir a la cama y cuando me despierto me odio a mí mismo por esto claramente no tengo ese gran problema en la vida no tengo problema de dinero tengo amigo estoy sano sin embargo hay tiempo en el que me siento tan aplastado y me duele tanto seguir viviendo la gente tiene muc peor y todavía están haciendo mucho mejor y no tengo problemas para levantarse en la mañana y hacer simple cosa no tengo ninguna esperanza de encontrar felicidad en el futuro mi terapeuta trata de ayudarme y es muy agradable pero no es suficiente que me he sentido así por demasiado tiempo nunca termina y no existe sólo resolverlo todo en el final que todos terminan muriendo no quiero simplemente seguir viviendo sólo para ver lo que es justo como quiero terminar a veces sí es egoísta pero no voy a estar más consciente de mí mismo estar triste de mi decisión y sí hay algo que me gusta en la vida pero honestamente cuando estoy en un mal estado que no me importa hacer cualquier cosa que tengo que hacer