i ve tried i ve put in effort i ve fought back and i did get better before it all went downhill again til i m back to square one then still i got told to try and put in more effort to fight back a if that wasn t what i have been doing to get this far to survive this far no matter how much effort i put in the end everything came back to nothing it s all meaningless they would only see the result without acknowledging nor appreciating the effort i m too tired to fight anymore i don t have anyone to talk to about my problem more like i don t have anyone that i trust enough for me to really open up to even the friend i got right now i can t feel a strong connection with them i don t even talk much with them also too scared to even talk to a therapist and seek help having to reveal my problem like that make me feel vulnerable miserable and embarrassing another reason for not seeking help is so i can break down even more until i really lose my mind and there d really be nothing better than dying i guess but mainly i hate the idea of having to reveal myself to others a i ve mentioned just before this i ve grown too tired i ve been spending a lot more time in my room playing game and barely doing anything productive outside of my work i don t have any motivation or dream sometimes i fear having to sleep at night because by the time i wake up i d have to go through another dull day again and repeat the same thing over and over again the problem is in me i can t run away from myself i wish i could just disappear from existence and it d be nice if no one would remember me at all i m going to sleep and i hope i won t wake up to greet another day but i know that ain t gon na happen will delete this post later i don t really like posting a rant like this too but i really needed to get it out a bit please don t mind this post at all and have a good day to whoever ha read this til the end
i ve tried i ve put in effort i ve fought back and i did get better before it all went downhill again til i m back to square one then still i got told to try and put in more effort to fight back a if that wasn t what i have been doing to get this far to survive this far no matter how much effort i put in the end everything came back to nothing it s all meaningless they would only see the result without acknowledging nor appreciating the effort i m too tired to fight anymorei don t have anyone to talk to about my problem more like i don t have anyone that i trust enough for me to really open up to even the friend i got right now i can t feel a strong connection with them i don t even talk much with them also too scared to even talk to a therapist and seek help having to reveal my problem like that make me feel vulnerable miserable and embarrassing another reason for not seeking help is so i can break down even more until i really lose my mind and there d really be nothing better than dying i guess but mainly i hate the idea of having to reveal myself to others a i ve mentioned just before this i ve grown too tired i ve been spending a lot more time in my room playing game and barely doing anything productive outside of my work i don t have any motivation or dream sometimes i fear having to sleep at night because by the time i wake up i d have to go through another dull day again and repeat the same thing over and over again the problem is in me i can t run away from myself i wish i could just disappear from existence and it d be nice if no one would remember me at all i m going to sleepand i hope i won t wake up to greet another daybut i know that ain t gon na happen will delete this post lateri don t really like posting a rant like this toobut i really needed to get it out a bit please don t mind this post at all and have a good day to whoever ha read this til the end
He intentado poner en el esfuerzo he luchado y he conseguido mejor antes de que todo fuera cuesta abajo otra vez hasta que I m volver a la plaza uno entonces todavía me dijeron que tratar y poner en más esfuerzo para luchar si eso no era lo que he estado haciendo para llegar tan lejos para sobrevivir hasta este punto no importa cuánto esfuerzo he puesto al final todo volvió a nada es todo sin sentido que sólo verían el resultado sin reconocer ni apreciar el esfuerzo estoy demasiado cansado para luchar ya no tengo a nadie para hablar de mi problema más como no tengo a nadie que confíe lo suficiente para que me abra realmente a incluso el amigo que tengo derecho ahora no puedo sentir una conexión fuerte con ellos ni siquiera hablar mucho con ellos también demasiado asustado para incluso hablar con un terapeuta y buscar ayuda tener que revelar mi problema como que me hacen sentir vulnerable miserable y embarazoso otra razón para no buscar ayuda es así que puedo romper hasta que realmente pierda mi mente y no hay nada mejor que morir supongo que