today i had an important college presentation to do but since last night i ve been so dead feel like with my brain my body ha also given up i have to pull myself together to even get out of bed i had to wake up early today and i did but i just couldn t leave my bed i wa cry so much the whole night for no specific reason i decided not to go and explained my partner that i won t make it i told them how i wa feeling funnily they re my best friend who were doing the presentation w me one of them said i didn t have the ball to just say it straight to their face that i just don t want to go because i m being lazy or whatever it hurt me so much how do i explain this to them it make me feel like i m good for nothing i feel like a piece of shit for not doing thing i should be doing everyday it keep on getting worse for me i tried therapy but it just expensive and doesn t work for me plus i always have this stress of spending so much on therapy being a student if this is how it going to be like then i don t even wan na carry on lmao i d rather just kill myself but i can t do that also because i m such a coward and always think about the consequence of my action and how other people would have to deal w it the shame that my parent will have to face i have so much fear and anxiety it so difficult to survive
today i had an important college presentation to do but since last night i ve been so dead feel like with my brain my body ha also given up i have to pull myself together to even get out of bed i had to wake up early today and i didbut i just couldn t leave my bedi wa cry so much the whole night for no specific reason i decided not to go and explained my partner that i won t make it i told them how i wa feeling funnily they re my best friend who were doing the presentation w me one of them said i didn t have the ball to just say it straight to their face that i just don t want to go because i m being lazy or whatever it hurt me so much how do i explain this to them it make me feel like i m good for nothing i feel like a piece of shit for not doing thing i should be doing everyday it keep on getting worse for me i tried therapybut it just expensive and doesn t work for me plus i always have this stress of spending so much on therapy being a student if this is how it going to be like then i don t even wan na carry on lmaoi d rather just kill myself but i can t do that also because i m such a coward and always think about the consequence of my action and how other people would have to deal w it the shame that my parent will have to face i have so much fear and anxiety it so difficult to survive
Hoy tuve que hacer una presentación importante de la universidad pero desde anoche he estado tan muerto sentir como con mi cerebro mi cuerpo también ha renunciado tengo que juntarme para incluso salir de la cama tuve que despertarme temprano hoy y lo hice pero no podía dejar mi bedi wa llorar tanto toda la noche por ninguna razón específica decidí no ir y explicar a mi pareja que no lo haría les dije cómo me siento divertidamente ellos son mi mejor amigo que estaban haciendo la presentación w me uno de ellos me dijo que no tenía el balón para decirlo directamente a su cara que simplemente no quiero ir porque estoy siendo perezoso o lo que sea que me duele tanto cómo explicar esto a ellos me hace sentir como que soy bueno para nada me siento como un pedazo de mierda por no hacer cosas que debería estar haciendo todos los días que sigue empeorando para mí he probado la terapia pero es caro y no trabaja para mí más que siempre tengo este estrés de gastar tanto en terapia siendo estudiante si esto es cómo voy a ser como entonces yo ni siquiera llevar a cabo en me mata a mí mismo