know i m severely depressed but it s been like this for year i can t do another 0 year of this i turn on monday and i just so tired of this life already i have friend but there s no one i m close to no one to tell my day about not that there would be anything to talk about i do fuck all just barely surviving the day getting out of bed in the morning is so difficult i watch my friend able to go out everyday talk passionately about the thing they re interested in make plan for the future and i just wish i could do that i genuinely don t enjoy anything i m doing a degree i hate but it s too late now to change it and not be able to get out of bed to attend my lecture doesn t help i m on a waiting list for therapy but i m number so that could be up to a year wait i ve tried different antidepressant and they have done fuck all i just can t stop thinking about how it would be best for everyone if i got hit by a truck i am draining to be around i wouldn t be my own friend so god know what anyone else think my first thought about anything is negative someone asked me the other day what i want to do after university and i told them i want to be dead because in all truth that s what i want i don t want to be alive someone wanted me to do something and the first thing out my mouth wa yeah well i want to chuck myself in front of a train but we can t always get what we want didn t even mean to say it but it just always at the front of my mind and i don t even know if it s true because i m not at risk of doing anything i ve absolutely no intention of chucking myself infront of a train but i want to no longer exist sometimes i think i need to reach out to someone but who and why bother what are they gon na do i went to my gp about it and spoke to a mental health nurse but all that s done is given me antidepressant that don t work and put me on a year long waiting list i m meeting up with family for my st my and brother aunt and uncle and cousin that i haven t seen in a while all travelling to see me i should be looking forward to it but i m not i m dreading it because they ve all got their life together have something to live for they re gon na ask me how i m doing and either i lie though they will know i m not telling the truth or i m honest and bring the whole mood down and what point would telling them they can t do anything when i say i want to chuck myself in front of a train i m not just doing it for attention i don t plan to do anything of the sort but i think it s the only way i know of saying how i really feel because no other way describes it just saying i m not doing great doesn t really cut it i m doing fucking awfully and don t know how to stop it
know i m severely depressed but it s been like this for year i can t do another 0 year of this i turn on mondayand i just so tired of this life already i have friendbut there s no one i m close to no one to tell my day about not that there would be anything to talk about i do fuck all just barely surviving the day getting out of bed in the morning is so difficult i watch my friend able to go out everyday talk passionately about the thing they re interested in make plan for the futureand i just wish i could do that i genuinely don t enjoy anything i m doing a degree i hatebut it s too late now to change it and not be able to get out of bed to attend my lecture doesn t help i m on a waiting list for therapybut i m numberso that could be up to a yearwait i ve tried different antidepressant and they have done fuck all i just can t stop thinking about how it would be best for everyone if i got hit by a truck i am draining to be around i wouldn t be my own friend so god know what anyone else think my first thought about anything is negative someone asked me the other day what i want to do after university and i told them i want to be dead because in all truth that s what i want i don t want to be alive someone wanted me to do something and the first thing out my mouthwayeahwell i want to chuck myself in front of a trainbut we can t always get what we want didn t even mean to say itbut it just always at the front of my mind and i don t even know if it s true because i m not at risk of doing anything i ve absolutely no intention of chucking myself infront of a train but i want to no longer exist sometimes i think i need to reach out to someone but who and why bother what are they gon na do i went to my gp about it and spoke to a mental health nurse but all that s done is given me antidepressant that don t work and put me on a year long waiting list i m meeting up with family for my st my and brother aunt and uncle and cousin that i haven t seen in a while all travelling to see me i should be looking forward to itbut i m not i m dreading it because they ve all got their life together have something to live for they re gon na ask me how i m doingand either i lie though they will know i m not telling the truth or i m honest and bring the whole mood down and what point would telling them they can t do anything when i say i want to chuck myself in front of a train i m not just doing it for attention i don t plan to do anything of the sortbut i think it s the only way i know of saying how i really feel because no other way describes it just saying i m not doing great doesn t really cut it i m doing fucking awfully and don t know how to stop it
Sé que estoy severamente deprimido pero ha sido así durante el año no puedo hacer otro 0 año de esto me pongo el lunes y estoy tan cansado de esta vida ya tengo amigo pero no hay nadie estoy cerca de nadie para decir mi día sobre no que habría nada de lo que hablar de que lo hago mierda todo apenas sobreviviendo el día salir de la cama en la mañana es tan difícil que mi amigo capaz de salir todos los días hablar apasionadamente sobre lo que están interesados en hacer un plan para el futuro y me gustaría que pudiera hacer que realmente no disfrutar de cualquier cosa estoy haciendo un grado odio pero es demasiado tarde ahora para cambiarlo y no ser capaz de salir de la cama para asistir a mi conferencia no me ayuda en una lista de espera para la terapia pero m númeroso que podría ser hasta un año de espera