i ll have all the equipment by thursday i ve worked out how much rent to send my flatmate to cover a couple month i m getting rid of my clothes by the end of the week i ve written some letter and am going to print out a sheet of my important detail i m dreading it so much but i also can t wait time feel so slow and agonising and every time i fall asleep i think what a waste it is to be unconscious and not die in that comfort i don t feel like anyone will miss me but the hard part is i don t want anyone to have to deal with any admin i don t want anyone to have to plan anything it ll be good to go but i hate the fact that someone will have to clean after me i wish i could just disappear instead life is really hard and i don t know how people do it i never understood how people make friend or fall in love or make other people like them i watch people learn to hate me and i don t know what i m doing wrong or how to stop it i ve been alone for my life even my parent didn t want me and i ll be alone for the rest of it if i stay alive i wish i had something good to offer that people liked but i don t know what anyone want or how to give it to them i don t know what they hate either apparently because i m giving them that without even realising
i ll have all the equipment by thursday i ve worked out how much rent to send my flatmate to cover a couple month i m getting rid of my clothes by the end of the week i ve written some letter and am going to print out a sheet of my important detail i m dreading it so muchbut i also can t wait time feel so slow and agonising and every time i fall asleep i think what a waste it is to be unconscious and not die in that comforti don t feel like anyone will miss me but the hard part isi don t want anyone to have to deal with any admini don t want anyone to have to plan anything it ll be good to gobut i hate the fact that someone will have to clean after me i wish i could just disappear instead life is really hardand i don t know how people do it i never understood how people make friend or fall in love or make other people like them i watch people learn to hate meand i don t know what i m doing wrong or how to stop it i ve been alone for my life even my parent didn t want meand i ll be alone for the rest of it if i stay alive i wish i had something good to offer that people likedbut i don t know what anyone want or how to give it to them i don t know what they hate either apparently because i m giving them that without even realising
Tengo todo el equipo para el jueves he trabajado cuánto alquiler para enviar a mi compañero de piso para cubrir un par de meses me estoy deshaciendo de mi ropa para el final de la semana he escrito una carta y voy a imprimir una hoja de mi detalle importante me temo tanto pero también no puedo esperar el tiempo se siente tan lento y agonizante y cada vez que me quedo dormido creo que lo que un desperdicio es estar inconsciente y no morir en esa comodidad no siento que nadie me echará de menos pero la parte difícil es que no quiero que nadie tenga que lidiar con cualquier administrador no quiero que nadie tenga que planear cualquier cosa va a ser bueno ir pero odio el hecho de que alguien va a tener que limpiar después de mí me gustaría que podría desaparecer en lugar de la vida es realmente duro y no sé cómo la gente lo hace nunca entendí cómo la gente hace amigo o se enamoran o hacer que otras personas como ellos me gusten que la gente aprendan a odiar significado que yo no sé lo que estoy haciendo mal o cómo detenerme he estado solo por mi vida ni siquiera mi padre quería que me gustara que me gustara que la gente me gustara