i am so alone in this world and it is such a pain it s so hard for me to function properly it seems everything is a trigger to me now loud noise well any noise being around people talking everything make me want to relapse im gaining weight which ha never happened i m so ashamed and embarrassed yesterday i ate so much i couldn t even stand up straight and had terrible stomach cramp and felt like vomiting i even started to have chest pain too whether i eat or starve myself it seems i am still digging myself into a grave so tired of people asking me if i m in college and then telling me i need to go when i respond no i am not in college why do people feel entitled to tell me who to be and what to do with my stupid fucking life i can t even take care of myself how the hell am i supposed to balance a job and college im sick i have nobody that love me and i believe that s part of the problem the thing i hate the most is when i hear others talk about how they are lonely too meanwhile they have friend and a family to turn to i m so sick and tired of people lying to me i can t believe this is the best life ha to offer me i m so embarrassed my life wa over such a long time ago if i killed myself now there would be no big difference everything and everyone will go on
i am so alone in this world and it is such a pain it s so hard for me to function properly it seems everything is a trigger to me now loud noise well any noise being around people talking everything make me want to relapse im gaining weight which ha never happened i m so ashamed and embarrassed yesterday i ate so much i couldn t even stand up straight and had terrible stomach cramp and felt like vomiting i even started to have chest pain too whether i eat or starve myself it seems i am still digging myself into a grave so tired of people asking me if i m in college and then telling me i need to go when i respondno i am not in college why do people feel entitled to tell me who to be and what to do with my stupid fucking life i can t even take care of myself how the hell am i supposed to balance a job and college im sick i have nobody that love meand i believe that s part of the problem the thing i hate the most is when i hear others talk about how they are lonely too meanwhile they have friend and a family to turn to i m so sick and tired of people lying to me i can t believe this is the best life ha to offer me i m so embarrassed my life wa over such a long time ago if i killed myself now there would be no big difference everything and everyone will go on
Estoy tan solo en este mundo y es un dolor que es tan difícil para mí funcionar correctamente parece que todo es un gatillo para mí ahora ruido fuerte bien ruido estar alrededor de la gente hablando todo me hacen querer recaer im aumento de peso que nunca me ha pasado estoy tan avergonzado y avergonzado ayer comí tanto que no podía ni siquiera ponerse de pie derecho y tenía calambres estomacales terribles y sentí como vómitos incluso empecé a tener dolor en el pecho también si como o me muero de hambre me parece que todavía estoy cavando en una tumba tan cansado de la gente que me pregunta si estoy en la universidad y luego me dice que tengo que ir cuando respondono no estoy en la universidad por qué la gente se siente con derecho a decirme quién ser y qué hacer con mi estúpida vida de mierda no puedo ni siquiera cuidar de mí mismo cómo diablos se supone que tengo que equilibrar un trabajo y universidad im enfermo no tengo a nadie que el amor significa que creo que es parte del problema lo que más odio es cuando oigo a otros hablar de cómo están solos mientras que tienen que volver a mí tan enfermo y cansado de la gente mentirme