context grew up in a pretty abusive family and always wanted to jill myself even a a young child it get worse till couldn t cope and went to child service at age a i felt i wa going crazy i wa removed from my family and never saw my mum sister again my suicidal thought seem to not always be here now but come in wave i m feeling pretty suicidal now a my gf left me but it made me reminiscent of my last suicidal episode about a year ago this wa the most intense one yet i had plan and everything the last thing i had to do wa to speak to my mum and sister before i passed away i spoke to my sister first and she basically wa horrible to me to the point i couldn t speak to my mum out of guilt turn out the abuse got a lot worse after i got removed and my sister blamed me for it it hit me pretty hard i didn t end up speaking to my mum here s where thing get interesting a i never spoke to my mum i never killed my self she ended up dying a few month afterwards now i feel weird if i had rang her and killed myself would she have been alive it sound silly but my mum illness wa caused by sadness i m sure if i spoke to her she would have survived but then i would be dead so would my suicide have saved a life somewhat this now make me more suicidal a i didn t speak to her before she died but this time i don t have the courage to kill myself sticky situation
context grew up in a pretty abusive family and always wanted to jill myself even a a young child it get worse till couldn t cope and went to child service at age a i felt i wa going crazyi wa removed from my family and never saw my mum sister again my suicidal thought seem to not always be here now but come in wave i m feeling pretty suicidal now a my gf left me but it made me reminiscent of my last suicidal episode about a year ago this wa the most intense oneyet i had plan and everything the last thing i had to do wa to speak to my mum and sister before i passed away i spoke to my sister first and she basically wa horrible to me to the point i couldn t speak to my mum out of guilt turn out the abuse got a lot worse after i got removed and my sister blamed me for it it hit me pretty hardi didn t end up speaking to my mum here s where thing get interesting a i never spoke to my mum i never killed my self she ended up dying a few month afterwards now i feel weird if i had rang her and killed myself would she have been alive it sound silly but my mum illness wa caused by sadness i m sure if i spoke to her she would have survived but then i would be dead so would my suicide have saved a life somewhat this now make me more suicidal a i didn t speak to her before she died but this time i don t have the courage to kill myself sticky situation
Contexto creció en una familia bastante abusivo y siempre quise jill mí mismo incluso un niño pequeño se pone peor hasta que no podía hacer frente a y fue al servicio del niño a la edad a I wa va locoi wa removido de mi familia y nunca vi mi madre hermana de nuevo mi pensamiento suicida parece no siempre estar aquí ahora pero venir en onda me siento bastante suicida ahora un gf me dejó pero me hizo recordar mi último episodio suicida hace un año este wa el más intenso oneyet que tenía plan y todo lo último que tuve que hacer wa hablar con mi madre y hermana antes de morir hablé con mi hermana primero y ella básicamente wa horrible a mí al punto de que no podía hablar con mi madre por culpa resultó el abuso se puso mucho peor después de que me despojó y mi hermana me culpó por que me golpeó bastante hardi no terminó hablando con mi madre aquí s donde la cosa se puso interesante una nunca hablé con mi madre por culpa resultó el abuso se puso mucho peor después de que me deshice y mi hermana me culpó por que me golpeó bastante duro no terminó hablando con mi madre aquí s donde se volvió tonta pero mi mamá me causaba que yo hablara de la tristeza que nunca me hubiera muerto un mes después de nuevo me sentí rara si me sentía