my parent split when i wa i lived with my dad and my sister moved with my mom my father wa a super alcoholic and abusive he used to whip me with cordage punch me while i wa naked because i wa taking a shower to long and basically hit me when ever he wa in the mood when i wa the neighbor kid who wa older than me molested me and i told my dad about it he asked me if i wa some kind of homosexual slang word and did nothing about it he used to wash my clothes and hang dry them above trash and i wa very limited on the amount of time i wa allowed to bathe because of this i got picked on for being the dirty kid fast forward a few year i became the bully a i wa psychically stronger than kid my age i also started stealing food and laundry detergent from the gas station i would put my clothes in trash bag and bike them to the laundry mat when i wa i got a girl pregnant i also started hanging out with people older than me i got into fight alot and started robbing place to eat i got caught and did time in juvenile hall afterwards i wa court ordered to move in with my mom she knew nothing about what wa going on at my dad s house the whole time i felt like if i said anything i would be forced to move and that made me feel guilty because i wa all my dad had left at i wa diagnosed with a nasty skin disorder called hidradenitis suppurativa basically i get boil in my armpit and on my butt there is no cure and surgery usually doesn t work it just come right back this made me skidish when it came to dating and i wa also dealing with my molestation the whole time throughout my whole teenage year i thought i wa gay because of what happened a a child when i wa i met a i fell head over heel for her and vice versa about year in i became extremely possessive gave her zero space and never did anything fun with her we broke up i could see she wasn t happy and asked her one day if she needed to leave and she said yes it wa over throught my late 0 i would check in on her to make sure she wa ok she would get in a relationship but then break up and we would start chatting again this happened time but i never fully pursued her i could tell we had unfinished business and that she had the same feeling for me a i did for her i knew she could get better so i let her go it ha now been year and i haven t dated serious since i have relived our break up 000s of time i will dream of her and wake up and it start all over again that mixed in with my past my skin disorder my job that i hate even though it s good money my addiction my dying mother ha me to the point where i don t want to live i ve also recently learned that my dad s house burnt down and he ha been homeless living out of his car for the past few year i don t know how to react to that for year now i have told myself that when my mother go i m going to kill myself i ve decided to wait until she go because she ha been through a lot a well and i want her to not be alone when she doe my dad wasn t good to her then wa abused by step father he died and all while dealing with severe kidney problem and vitamin deficiency i don t really have a relationship with my daughter i wa a bad father a a teenager i ve tried to do better but i don t think she would ever forgive me for not being there my mom s health is steadily declining so my time is approaching i ve recently bought a gun and now it s all up to my mom to those of you who made it this far i m sorry this post is so long i needed somewhere to vent because a lot of this stuff i have never told anyone thanks for reading
my parent split when i wa i lived with my dad and my sister moved with my mom my father wa a super alcoholic and abusive he used to whip me with cordage punch me while i wa naked because i wa taking a shower to long and basically hit me when ever he wa in the mood when i wa the neighbor kid who wa older than me molested meand i told my dad about it he asked me if i wa some kind of homosexual slang word and did nothing about it he used to wash my clothes and hang dry them above trashand i wa very limited on the amount of time i wa allowed to bathe because of this i got picked on for being the dirty kid fast forward a few year i became the bully a i wa psychically stronger than kid my age i also started stealing food and laundry detergent from the gas station i would put my clothes in trash bag and bike them to the laundry mat when i wa i got a girl pregnanti also started hanging out with people older than me i got into fight alot and started robbing place to eat i got caught and did time in juvenile hall afterwards i wa court ordered to move in with my mom she knew nothing about what wa going on at my dad s house the whole time i felt like if i said anything i would be forced to move and that made me feel guilty because i wa all my dad had left at iwa diagnosed with a nasty skin disorder called hidradenitis suppurativa basically i get boil in my armpit and on my butt there is no cure and surgery usually doesn t work it just come right back this made me skidish when it came to dating and i wa also dealing with my molestation the whole time throughout my whole teenage year i thought i wa gay because of what happened a a child when i wa i met a i fell head over heel for her and vice versa about year in i became extremely possessive gave her zero space and never did anything fun with her we broke up i could see she wasn t happy and asked her one day if she needed to leaveand she said yes it wa over throught my late 0i would check in on her to make sure she wa ok she would get in a relationship but then break up and we would start chatting again this happened time but i never fully pursued her i could tell we had unfinished business and that she had the same feeling for me a i did for her i knew she could get betterso i let her go it ha now been yearand i haven t dated serious since i have relived our break up 000s of time i will dream of her and wake up and it start all over again that mixed in with my past my skin disorder my job that i hate even though it s good money my addiction my dying mother ha me to the point where i don t want to live i ve also recently learned that my dad s house burnt downand he ha been homeless living out of his car for the past few year i dont know how to react to that for year now i have told myself that when my mother go i m going to kill myself i ve decided to wait until she go because she ha been through a lota well and i want her to not be alone when she doe my dad wasn t good to her then wa abused by step father he died and all while dealing with severe kidney problem and vitamin deficiency i don t really have a relationship with my daughter i wa a bad father a a teenager i ve tried to do better but i don t think she would ever forgive me for not being there my mom s health is steadily declining so my time is approaching i ve recently bought a gun and now it s all up to my mom to those of you who made it this far i m sorry this post is so longi needed somewhere to vent because a lot of this stuff i have never told anyone thanks for reading
Mi padre se separó cuando yo vivía con mi padre y mi hermana se mudó con mi madre mi padre era un súper alcohólico y abusivo me golpeaba con cordaje me golpeaba mientras yo estaba desnuda porque yo iba tomando una ducha a largo y básicamente me golpeaba cuando él estaba en el estado de ánimo cuando yo era el vecino niño que era mayor que yo molestaba me refería a que le dije a mi padre sobre él él me preguntó si yo era algún tipo de palabra de jerga homosexual y no hizo nada al respecto él solía lavar mi ropa y colgarlos por encima de la basura y yo wa muy limitado en la cantidad de tiempo que me permitía bañarme por esto me cogieron por ser el chico sucio rápido adelante unos pocos años me convertí en el matón a i wa psíquicamente más fuerte que el niño de mi edad también empecé a robar comida y detergente de lavandería de la estación de gas me ponía mi ropa en bolsa de basura y los montaba en bicicleta a la colchoneta de lavandería cuando yo tenía una chica embarazada también empecé a salir con gente mayor que yo me me me me me me me me me me metí en peleaba mucho y empecé a robar lugar para comer me quedé en el pasillo juvenil y luego me fui a la callejaba con mi madre