hey guy i m and female and i ve been struggling with my mental health for the past year i ve had a lot of suicidal episode all of them were in my head so i never actively did anything except wishing to die but the wish of dying got bigger in the past month i just hate my life and i struggle so much it s just crazy i don t see any pleasure in living but my problem is that i feel like i m not 00 ly sure if i want this my reason of dying i might have ocd and this shit is just a living hell i keep ruminating so much and i just can t continue to live like that this sickness ha taken so much lifetime away from me i have horrible thought about the people i love the most and i m scared i might have harmed them in any way and i wouldn t be able to live with that i just hate life when you see me from the outside you ll think that i m a happy person but i m not i struggle with anxiety and panic so much they re part of my daily life i just have too many issue all of the pain will be over the problem is that my elder brother past away a month ago and my family wouldn t be able to handle two death child i told a close friend about my suicidal thought but i think that he didn t fully understand me he doesn t know that this is something that i m considering all the time about therapy i can t get any help bc of my parent so no matter what you ll say about therapy it won t be possible i just want everything to end i ve suffered enough i ve had enough of this life maybe i m being selfish but i ll have to do what s best for me in the last day i haven t been able to do anything good i mostly laid in my bed on the phone i just don t find any motivation in thing i eat very bad and then my stomach will hurt the next day my sleep schedule is fucked up too but it ha gotten better in the last day i feel so sick and when i m with my friend i play the girl who s always happy while i m not i just hate life i ve harmed myself a few time but it wa just biting myself i wanted to do more extreme thing but then i didn t bc i don t see how self harm could help me i d like to die a painless death or maybe commit suicide indirectly so that my family won t see that i killed myself
hey guy i m and female and i ve been struggling with my mental health for the past year i ve had a lot of suicidal episode all of them were in my head so i never actively did anything except wishing to die but the wish of dying got bigger in the past month i just hate my lifeand i struggle so much it s just crazyi don t see any pleasure in living but my problem is that i feel like i m not 00ly sure if i want this my reason of dying i might have ocd and this shit is just a living helli keep ruminating so muchand i just can t continue to live like that this sickness ha taken so much lifetime away from me i have horrible thought about the people i love the most and i m scared i might have harmed them in any wayand i wouldn t be able to live with that i just hate life when you see me from the outside you ll think that i m a happy personbut i m not i struggle with anxiety and panic so much they re part of my daily life i just have too many issue all of the pain will be over the problem is that my elder brother past away a month ago and my family wouldn t be able to handle two death child i told a close friend about my suicidal thought but i think that he didn t fully understand me he doesn t know that this is something that i m considering all the time about therapy i can t get any help bc of my parentso no matter what you ll say about therapy it won t be possiblei just want everything to end i ve suffered enough i ve had enough of this life maybe i m being selfish but i ll have to do what s best for me in the last day i haven t been able to do anything good i mostly laid in my bed on the phone i just don t find any motivation in thing i eat very badand then my stomach will hurt the next day my sleep schedule is fucked up toobut it ha gotten better in the last day i feel so sick and when i m with my friend i play the girl who s always happy while i m not i just hate life i ve harmed myself a few timebut it wa just biting myself i wanted to do more extreme thingbut then i didn tbci don t see how self harm could help meid like to die a painless death or maybe commit suicide indirectly so that my family won t see that i killed myself
Hola chico y mujer y he estado luchando con mi salud mental durante el último año he tenido un montón de episodio suicida todos ellos estaban en mi cabeza así que nunca hice nada activamente excepto desear morir pero el deseo de morir se hizo más grande en el último mes sólo odio mi vida y lucho tanto es simplemente loco no veo ningún placer en vivir pero mi problema es que siento que no estoy muy seguro de si quiero esta mi razón de morir podría haber ocd y esta mierda es sólo un infierno vivo seguir ruminando tanto y no puedo seguir viviendo como que esta enfermedad ha tomado tanta vida lejos de mí he pensado horriblemente sobre la gente que más amo y me temo que podría haberles hecho daño de cualquier manera y no sería capaz de vivir con que simplemente odio la vida cuando me ves desde el exterior vas a pensar que soy una persona feliz pero no lucho con ansiedad y pánico tanto que ellos re parte de mi vida diaria tengo demasiado problema de todo el dolor será sobre el problema de que mi hermano mayor lejos hace un mes que podría manejar mi amigo