i never thought i would feel this way at this point i m in between two different stage of life and the stress of it is making me want to kill myself i m a senior in high school and life is so hard right now and i don t know if i m being dramatic ive been suicidal before but i don t think i am now just because i know i have a big turning point in front of me in the fall when i go to college which give me hope but i fear i m putting too much weight on this if i don t like college i am scared i will kill myself because it s all that s keeping me going i used to want to kill myself when i wa i know what it feel like but that s not what this is i just can t keep going it get s harder every day i still have two month until graduation and i am scared out of my mind it is so stressful to have so many duty every day school work college decision scholarship i have to pay 00 in car expense which is like two week paycheck thrown away it feel like i do so much just for the little ounce of freedom i get on one day of the weekend or for maybe an hour after school i can t keep going like this but i have to i feel like i m wasting such an important time in my life but i can t change it i want to end it just to avoid the pain of trekking through it because sometimes i can t even see myself waking up tomorrow and doing it all again i am so scared of disappointed everyone every time i let my mom down i just want to die so bad i feel so useless i can t control myself when i m given decision i can t make them i hate the thought that i have complete control over myself because it give the blame of who ive become extremely burnt out flaky to friend and work used to be extroverted but now im so quiet to me and me only
i never thought i would feel this way at this point i m in between two different stage of life and the stress of it is making me want to kill myself i m a senior in high school and life is so hard right now and i don t know if i m being dramatic ive been suicidal before but i don t think i am now just because i know i have a big turning point in front of me in the fall when i go to college which give me hopebut i fear i m putting too much weight on this if i don t like college i am scared i will kill myself because it s all that s keeping me going i used to want to kill myself when i wa i know what it feel like but that s not what this is i just can t keep going it get s harder every day i still have two month until graduation and i am scared out of my mind it is so stressful to have so many duty every day school work college decision scholarship i have to pay 00 in car expense which is like two week paycheck thrown away it feel like i do so much just for the little ounce of freedom i get on one day of the weekend or for maybe an hour after school i can t keep going like thisbut i have to i feel like i m wasting such an important time in my life but i can t change it i want to end it just to avoid the pain of trekking through it because sometimes i can t even see myself waking up tomorrow and doing it all again i am so scared of disappointed everyone every time i let my mom down i just want to die so badi feel so useless i can t control myself when i m given decision i can t make them i hate the thought that i have complete control over myself because it give the blame of who ive become extremely burnt out flaky to friend and work used to be extrovertedbut now im so quiet to me and me only
Nunca pensé que me sentiría de esta manera en este punto estoy entre dos diferentes etapa de la vida y el estrés de que me está haciendo querer matarme a mí mismo en el último año de la escuela secundaria y la vida es tan difícil en este momento y no sé si estoy siendo dramático ha sido suicida antes pero no creo que estoy ahora sólo porque sé que tengo un gran punto de inflexión en frente de mí en el otoño cuando voy a la universidad que me dan esperanza pero me temo que estoy poniendo demasiado peso en esto si no me gusta la universidad me temo que me voy a matar porque es todo lo que me mantiene a mí mismo me quiero matar cuando yo sé lo que se siente pero no es lo que esto es simplemente no puedo seguir haciendo es más difícil cada día todavía tengo dos meses hasta la graduación y estoy asustado fuera de mi mente es tan estresante tener tantos deberes todos los días trabajo universidad beca de decisión que tengo que pagar 00 en gastos de coche que es como dos semanas pago tirado lejos me siento tan sólo por la pequeña onza de la libertad que tengo en un fin de semana o tal vez por una hora que me siento tan importante que me voy a tener que