How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.\nI love thy long shelves of salty snack chips\nI love the cashier with her curvy hips \nFor the beer and cigs and little I pays.\nYou're close to the corner of Princes Street\nNigh to the hallowed banks of Auld Stinkie \nYou'll sell me a cap for my wee willie winkie \nI love thy coffee, in sun, rain, and sleet.\nWith bright orange bags, I'm pleased to see ya,\nI love shopping here more than IKEA.\nGrant's haggis, and shortbread, and the daily news;\nYou've Magner's and Tennent's--my favorite booze!\nI shall walk these hills til I'm out of breath\nI shall but love thee better after death.\n\n(I'm sorry!)