user3237: I'm a 1800 Elo player that likes positional, quiet, drawish, slow, boring and strategic openings.
As Black against 1. e4 I play the Caro-Kann. But there is one variation of the Caro-Kann that I slightly dislike: the Advance Shirov (4. Nc3).
  [StartPly "7"]

  [FEN ""]
  1. e4 c6 2. d4 d5 3. e5 Bf5 4. Nc3 e6 (4... Qb6) (4... h5) (4... a6) 5. g4 Bg6 6. Nge2 (6... f6) (6...h6) (6... Ne7) (6... Bb4) (6... Nd7) (6... Be7) c5 7. h4 h5 (7... h6) (7...cxd4) 8. Nf4 Bh7 (8... Nc6) 9. Nxh5 cxd4 (9...Nc6)

It seems to be much more sharp, aggressive, chaotic, wild and tactical than every other variation of the Caro-Kann. And so I don't know what to play against it.
I could go for the main line with 4... e6 5. g4 Bg6 6. Nge2, but then I don't even know which variation to choose next among all the available options.
Or I could choose to stop 5. g4 with 4... Qb6, 4... h5 or 4... a6, but I don't even know if any of these three moves are objectively good.
I've included everything in the FEN diagram.
And so my question is: which variation tends to lead on average to the most positional, solid, safe, quiet, drawish, slow, boring and strategic positions? (i.e. the least sharp and tactical positions)
But note that the variation also needs to be objectively good and reliable. And if possible it needs to be played reasonably often by Grandmasters. I don't want to play something bad just for the sake of not entering into complications. (i.e. I would still prefer something that is both tactical and good over something that is both positional and bad.)

user2871: 
I'm a 1800 Elo player that likes positional, quiet, drawish, slow, boring and strategic openings.

Good luck with never being able to advance. ;) OK, seriously, you must embrace the "other", "meaty" part of chess as well. If you want to make progress, don't work on the parts where you feel comfortable, work on your weaknesses!
This question is a perfect example of the limitation of only following the "strategic, drawish (etc.)" route. Let's put it simple: There is no boring response to this variation, which is probably why Shirov likes it.
However, you're missing an interesting option here, probably because it's marked as dubious in all the old books (if mentioned at all):
[FEN ""]
1. e4 c6 2. d4 d5 3. e5 Bf5 4. Nc3 e6 5. g4 Bg6 6. Nge2 Qh4

Yes, this is indeed a possible move which can throw White off guard - it obviously attacks that naughty pawn on g4, prevents a further h4 and puts some immediate pressure on f2. Combine it with a quick Bb4 and suddenly White must display some imagination in coming up with an attack plan. If this is not to your taste, follow up with c5 and Nc6, maybe even h5, and suddenly White must have some fear that his beloved d4 pawn may lose its balance. Most White players will try trapping the queen, which is generally speaking impossible and gives Black quite some time to come up with pressure against the center. I have this variation in my repertoire, and I like it - the results are also within the acceptable range.

user7500: At this point, it's very hard to keep the game quiet. You have two choices: keep the center closed (then a flank attack will be justified and advantageous), or open things up. The good news is that if you open up the position according to modern theory, or at least play accurately, you will be objectively better, and White's flank attack will be turned into a weakness.

user4588: Arguably, 4.Nc3 is one of the most aggressive variations against the Caro-Kann. For black, it is not easy to steer the position into quiet waters, but here are some ideas: 

4....Qb6. The idea is to play 5.g4 Bd7 and to continue with e6 and c5. The most popular reply is 5.Nf3 and after 5....e6, we have a position is similar to the main line 4.Nf3 e6. A recent example is Yu Yangyi - Margvelashvili.
4....e6 5.g4 Bg6 6.Nge2 f6. After 7.Nf4 black can play 7....Bf7 or 7....fxe5. The reply 7.h4 is more popular, after which black can continue with 7....Nd7, finish his development and counterplay with c5. A recent game is Onishuk-Matlakov.

In order to make a choice (not necessarily from these two ideas, but in general), you can look for some grandmaster games to see which variations lead to which type of positions.


      [FEN ""]
      [StartPly "7"]

      1.e4 c6 2.d4 d5 3.e5 Bf5 4.Nc3 e6 (4...Qb6 5.Nf3 (5.g4 Bd7) 5...e6) 5.g4 Bg6 6.Nge2 f6 7.Nf4 (7.h4 Nd7) 7...Bf7 (7...fxe5)



3237: <p>I'm a 1800 Elo player that likes positional, quiet, drawish, slow, boring and strategic openings.</p>

<p>As Black against 1. e4 I play the Caro-Kann. But there is one variation of the Caro-Kann that I slightly dislike: the Advance Shirov (4. Nc3).</p>

<pre><code>  [StartPly "7"]

  [FEN ""]
  1. e4 c6 2. d4 d5 3. e5 Bf5 4. Nc3 e6 (4... Qb6) (4... h5) (4... a6) 5. g4 Bg6 6. Nge2 (6... f6) (6...h6) (6... Ne7) (6... Bb4) (6... Nd7) (6... Be7) c5 7. h4 h5 (7... h6) (7...cxd4) 8. Nf4 Bh7 (8... Nc6) 9. Nxh5 cxd4 (9...Nc6)
</code></pre>

<p>It seems to be much more sharp, aggressive, chaotic, wild and tactical than every other variation of the Caro-Kann. And so I don't know what to play against it.</p>

<p>I could go for the main line with 4... e6 5. g4 Bg6 6. Nge2, but then I don't even know which variation to choose next among all the available options.</p>

<p>Or I could choose to stop 5. g4 with 4... Qb6, 4... h5 or 4... a6, but I don't even know if any of these three moves are objectively good.</p>

<p>I've included everything in the FEN diagram.</p>

<p>And so my question is: which variation tends to lead on average to the most positional, solid, safe, quiet, drawish, slow, boring and strategic positions? (i.e. the least sharp and tactical positions)</p>

<p>But note that the variation also needs to be objectively good and reliable. And if possible it needs to be played reasonably often by Grandmasters. I don't want to play something bad just for the sake of not entering into complications. (i.e. I would still prefer something that is both tactical and good over something that is both positional and bad.)</p>
 2871: <blockquote>
  <p>I'm a 1800 Elo player that likes positional, quiet, drawish, slow, boring and strategic openings.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Good luck with never being able to advance. ;) OK, seriously, you <em>must</em> embrace the "other", "meaty" part of chess as well. If you want to make progress, don't work on the parts where you feel comfortable, work on your weaknesses!</p>

<p>This question is a perfect example of the limitation of only following the "strategic, drawish (etc.)" route. Let's put it simple: <em>There is no boring response to this variation</em>, which is probably why Shirov likes it.</p>

<p>However, you're missing an interesting option here, probably because it's marked as dubious in all the old books (if mentioned at all):</p>

<pre><code>[FEN ""]
1. e4 c6 2. d4 d5 3. e5 Bf5 4. Nc3 e6 5. g4 Bg6 6. Nge2 Qh4
</code></pre>

<p>Yes, this is indeed a possible move which can throw White off guard - it obviously attacks that naughty pawn on g4, prevents a further h4 and puts some immediate pressure on f2. Combine it with a quick Bb4 and suddenly White must display some imagination in coming up with an attack plan. If this is not to your taste, follow up with c5 and Nc6, maybe even h5, and suddenly White must have some fear that his beloved d4 pawn may lose its balance. Most White players will try trapping the queen, which is generally speaking impossible and gives Black quite some time to come up with pressure against the center. I have this variation in my repertoire, and I like it - the results are also within the acceptable range.</p>
 7500: <p>At this point, it's very hard to keep the game quiet. You have two choices: keep the center closed (then a flank attack will be justified and advantageous), or open things up. The good news is that if you open up the position according to modern theory, or at least play accurately, you will be objectively better, and White's flank attack will be turned into a weakness.</p>
 4588: <p>Arguably, 4.Nc3 is one of the most aggressive variations against the Caro-Kann. For black, it is not easy to steer the position into quiet waters, but here are some ideas: </p>

<ul>
<li>4....Qb6. The idea is to play 5.g4 Bd7 and to continue with e6 and c5. The most popular reply is 5.Nf3 and after 5....e6, we have a position is similar to the main line 4.Nf3 e6. A recent example is <a href="http://www.chessgames.com/perl/chessgame?gid=1723741" rel="nofollow">Yu Yangyi - Margvelashvili</a>.</li>
<li>4....e6 5.g4 Bg6 6.Nge2 f6. After 7.Nf4 black can play 7....Bf7 or 7....fxe5. The reply 7.h4 is more popular, after which black can continue with 7....Nd7, finish his development and counterplay with c5. A recent game is <a href="http://www.chessgames.com/perl/chessgame?gid=1660989" rel="nofollow">Onishuk-Matlakov</a>.</li>
</ul>

<p>In order to make a choice (not necessarily from these two ideas, but in general), you can look for some grandmaster games to see which variations lead to which type of positions.</p>

<pre>
<code>
      [FEN ""]
      [StartPly "7"]

      1.e4 c6 2.d4 d5 3.e5 Bf5 4.Nc3 e6 (4...Qb6 5.Nf3 (5.g4 Bd7) 5...e6) 5.g4 Bg6 6.Nge2 f6 7.Nf4 (7.h4 Nd7) 7...Bf7 (7...fxe5)
</code>
</pre>
