I'm planning to divorce my husband and I'm anxious about how it will go because he controls the money and we have children.
This was a great task
The website was very easy to use!
I did like how I connected with the lady. I could identify with her problem and encourage her.
Hello! How are you tonight?
assistant
Question
hanging in there, kinda freaking out a little
user
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I'm sorry to hear you are freaking out. Perhaps a friendly listening ear can encourage you? Why are you freaking out?
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance,Question
I think that'll help, yeah
user
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Sometimes just a friend to hear you out and encourage you can really make a difference. Life has its ups and down.
assistant
Restatement or Paraphrasing
I decided to leave my husband, he keeps snapping at me and won't listen to me or let me do anything
user
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That's a difficult decision you have made.
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
I'm worried how it'll go though because we have kids
user
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Have you tried to talk to him about the problem? Or a counselor?
assistant
Question
I've tried to talk to him about the control issues, but he doesn't listen. He doesn't know I'm planning to leave and I think he'll try to stop me
user
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I have worked at a domestic violence shelter before, the most dangerous time to leave a situation like this is when you leave. Do you have a plan in place?
assistant
Self-disclosure
I have some leads on apartments and some savings I'm putting aside, and a friend I plan on living with
user
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My husband used to be very controlling as well, I dragged him to counseling. He changed. He bucked at first, but eventually he went. We have gone a few times off and on over 20 years. We both came from broken homes.
assistant
Providing Suggestions
I haven't got 100% of the details worked out yet, but I'm trying
user
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Has he hurt you physically? or is he mainly emotionally abusive?
assistant
Question
He hasn't hurt me physically I often feel like he would but I'm also a child abuse survivor so it's hard to tell if that's true or just a memory
user
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I'm glad to hear that. I can understand that you would be really stressed at this time, however, I do encourage you to get a good plan in place, and definitely get counseling.
assistant
Reflection of feelings
I think that's the best idea
user
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Yes, I had child abuse in my life too, I really think counseling saved our marriage, 3 times. But like, I said, he didn't want to go. However, the first time, I did leave and stay with a friend, and that convinced him I was serious.
assistant
Self-disclosure
that's a good thought, I wonder what he'd do if I stayed with a friend
user
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I wish I could fix this, but I can't. The road will be rocky and I don't know how I would have made it without people to encourage and support me, so I'm glad a friend is willing to have you stay with them until you can get on your feet.
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
hey may not realize I'd leave at all me too, that's making all the difference
user
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My husband really loved me, but coming from a broken home, he lost his mom when he was 12, so he thought controlling me was the solution, very messed up, but he had to learn to see that.
assistant
Self-disclosure
definitely that makes sense
user
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He feared I would die or leave him or something, but once he saw that, and realized what he was doing was hurting me and making me want to leave, he changed. But honestly, I have never understood men and why they dont' see life the way we do. Sometimes it takes that objective person to help them see it.
assistant
Self-disclosure
I'm not convinced mine loves me, looking back it's beginning to seem like he was draining me for my income and labor
user
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Ouch! That sounds painful to look at.
assistant
Reflection of feelings
it is, I think I was super wrong about him and overlooked red flags
user
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People who truly love others become willing to change. Sometimes it takes a DRASTIC measure to wake them up, like leaving. He has not heard you, so many he will "hear" it when you leave. But please be careful and have a plan. How long have you been married?
assistant
Information,Question
eight years, together for 11
user
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That's a long time. I will say a prayer for your safety and for you to get some help, hopefully he will join you. Marriage is a lot of work, but it can't be one person, it has to be two. Don't leave anything in writing around until after you leave.
assistant
Others,Providing Suggestions
absolutely! definitely no paper trail, for sure
user
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I believe in the power of prayer too. The Serenity prayer is a good one to help me let go of my fears and do what I can, leaving the rest to God.
assistant
Providing Suggestions
I know that one, it's helping me a lot too
user
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If I worry and get upset, then I waste energy, I have had to learn to get distracted if I find myself on that worry train, call a friend, go for a walk, just not obsess, it goes nowhere. And I urge you to get a counselor.
assistant
Information,Providing Suggestions
that's good advice! I will Thank you
user
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You are welcome. Watch your thinking, when it goes off track, take charge, change your thinking, get up and move about and do something else because it's not healthy for you to worry. As you said, you freak out, and that is not good for you or your children.
assistant
Others
definitely, I think I can do that! I feel a lot better!
user
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It's a rough situation, it will be difficult, you seem very intelligent, have thought about this, are working on a plan and are able to discuss it. That's a big plus on yoru side.
assistant
Information
Thank you! I'm feeling a lot more confident!
user
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