I knew Doug was married when we first started talking. It wasn't supposed to be anything serious. Just a fling! It's seven months and I know he won't leave his wife for me. I just don't how to get out of this.
No, I love talking to people and this task gave me a reason to do what I love.
Not that I can think of.
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Have you ever experienced anything like this?
user
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can you tell me more about that?
assistant
Question
I met Doug at work when I used to smoke outside the building. He's handsome, built and has a killer smile. We started talking and one night we hooked up.
user
null
It sounds like you're physically attracted to Doug and had a one-time encounter with him. Is that right? can you tell me more about how you're feeling now?
assistant
Restatement or Paraphrasing,Question
Well, actually this has been going on for 7 months. I hooked up with him after a month of talking. I'm ready to end this situation because I want the more emotional stuff I know Doug can't give. How do I get out?
user
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I'm sure it's frustrating that you're not getting the emotional support you need. It's great that you are reaching out to communicate with someone.
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
I heard of people falling for a fling or one night stand but this has gone on for months. Add to that, I see him at work. He's married and I don't see this as more than a long term hook up. Have you ever experienced something like this? If you never experienced this do you know of anyone who has? What did they do to get out of this type of relationship if you want to call it that?
user
null,null
I can sense your frustration, and his marriage just adds to that. I've known lots of people who've ended up in relationships with married people. Just reaching out to talk with someone else is a great first step.
assistant
Self-disclosure,Affirmation and Reassurance
What did those people do to end the relationship if you want to call it that? You keep saying it's good to reach out. I'm reaching out to you trying to find a way to turn off my emotions for this man.
user
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Sometimes, a good first step is to reach out to friends who can help you fill your time and avoid interactions with him. And co-workers often can help you find ways to avoid him in the office. Are others aware of the relationship who can help you with that?
assistant
Providing Suggestions,Providing Suggestions
My friends don't know about my situation with Doug. I do suspect some people at work are putting us eating lunch and taking walks together as something more. + Doug make my sing and makes my body come alive but his presence is starting to break my heart because this situation is not going anywhere. I need help! It's not Doug's problem it's mine! I don't like his wife because if she was treating him well he wouldn't be with me. So why doesn't she just let him go? I'm starting to think if she was out the picture Doug and I could be together in a real relationship you know what I mean?
user
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I can hear your anguish, and I understand your frustration. It's not clear to me, though, that Doug is being honest with you or with his wife. You mentioned that Doug can't provide the emotional support that you need. Do you think he's being fully honest with you about his relationship with his wife?
assistant
Others,Question
I don't understand. Doug's married I know that but I want what his wife has so she's not the problem.
user
null
You're absolutely right. It sounds like Doug is the problem. He's cheating on his wife, and he's not giving you the emotional support you need.
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
All I want to know from you is to tell me how to get rid of the feelings I have for Doug or how to get rid of his wife since you think she's part of the problem?
user
null
With the holidays coming up, maybe you could avoid him for an extended stretch and really do something about what it is you are looking for in a partner.
assistant
Providing Suggestions
Like what? The media says stay inside with love ones. Doug is my love one. Wouldn't I be putting myself at risk of getting the conrovirus meeting someone new?
user
null
I wouldn't say that Doug's wife is part of the problem. She's sounds like another victim of his philandering and dishonesty.
assistant
Others
Why do you keep focusing on the wife? You make it sound if I just kill her Doug and I could be happy and I wouldn't have to worry about his Philandering as you call it anymore. Are you saying I'm a Philanderer?
user
null
You're right. It's best to err on the side of caution when it comes to covid. But remember that Doug isn't your loved one alone. He's sharing germs with both you and his wife. Maybe a lockdown -- emotional and physical -- will help you work to find an end to this relationship. How did you spend your time before you met Doug? Perhaps you could reconnect with other friends or find a hobby to fill your time.
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance,Providing Suggestions
You never answered my question about ever being in this type of situation. Did your mate/husband or whatever Philalnder on you and you haven't gotten over it? Are you still with the man/woman or whatever that broke your heart and cheated on you? Why cant you get over it? Is the only advice for me you have is to eat Thanksgiving dinner alone?
user
null
I absolutely have had my heart broken, yes. And I've spent some holidays alone. I can understand your pain.
assistant
Reflection of feelings
I'm glad you understand my pain. I've spent and know how to be by myself. What I'm asking you how do I get out being in love with someone?
user
null
It would be great to be able to give you an easy and pain-free solution, but I don't know that that is possible when it comes to matters of the heart. If you truly love Doug and want to be with him, you should tell him that and see how he responds. You mentioned, though, that he can't give you the emotional support you need. If you truly believe, in your heart of hearts, that Doug can't be your everything, then you already have the answer: He is not "the one." He's the one right now. And you shouldn't have to settle for that. You sound like a strong and capable woman who should be loved and respected for everything she is.
assistant
Others,Affirmation and Reassurance
Okay so I eat Thanksgiving alone and I spend time alone. Okay tell me how i fill my nights alone up? How do I warm the other side of my bed which Doug fill so well. I meant he can't give me emotional support because he's married. There is so time, sex and emotional support he can give. And I don't why you assumed I am a woman because I'm not! Also, I don't think being with Doug is settling! I do however appreciate your time and effort.
user
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