My boyfriend broke up with me because he didn't want a relationship with someone who had kids.
The supporter shared a similar situation in their life
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Hello, how are you today?
assistant
Others
I'm really upset about a break up I just had with my boyfriend.
user
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I am sorry, when did this happen?
assistant
Question
It happened two days ago. I can't believe he led me on for almost a year knowing that I had two children and all of a sudden decided that he didn't want to deal with kids.
user
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I can understand the pain you must feel and the betrayal, that is absolutely awful.
assistant
Restatement or Paraphrasing
I do. I don't understand why he was fine with my kids for almost a year and all of a sudden it changed. I'm completely blindsided.
user
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How are your children doing through this?
assistant
Question
They don't know yet. I didn't want to upset them right before Christmas.
user
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What a terrible thing for him to do. I agree with you not to upset them right before Christmas.
assistant
Reflection of feelings
I'm not really sure how to break it to them when I do finally tell them.
user
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That is always a tough one. My suggestion is to not put him in a bad light since they do not have the angry feelings toward him that you do. Maybe tell them that he has made some choices in life that doesn't involve you, and unfortunately, we cannot control people and their feelings.
assistant
Providing Suggestions
That is a good idea. That would be good so they don't think it has anything to do with them because I'd never want them to feel bad about it!
user
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Exactly, that is a burden that children should never have to endure. They are always the innocent victims in our personal problems.
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
Hopefully they don't ask me what choices he made and want details.
user
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True! How old are they?
assistant
Information
They are 6 and 8 years old
user
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They should hopefully be young enough not to want details. Maybe if they ask say he didn't give you details because he apparently doesn't know himself what he wants. You sound like a very caring mother who wants the very best for her children.
assistant
Reflection of feelings
thank you! Knowing someone thinks I'm a good mother makes me feel a little better about the situation!
user
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I have a daughter and we have went through something similar in the past so I can relate. The truth is, I have found over time that it is our children who get us through these tough time.
assistant
Self-disclosure
Yes, seeing their faces tomorrow when they open presents will help get me through this sad time!
user
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