My wife cheated on me and wanted a divorce.  I have been super depressed.  My house is a mess.  I have a small business that I have let go.  I need to get up and get things done but have no motivation.  I need help getting motivated again.
I didn't like having to talk about it but it's reality
I think it's great
enjoyed it completely
not at this time
I should add (although it doesn't matter). I'm female married to a female.
user
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Hi there! I'm glad you're here
assistant
Others
hi
user
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So you're a female and you're married to a female? There's nothing wrong with that at all!
assistant
Information
Yes....well we are not living together now. We have to file papers for divorce
user
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I see. So you're actually legally married - didn't just have a commitment ceremony?
assistant
Question
Yes legally married
user
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Care to share what led up to filing for divorce?
assistant
Question
She cheated. And as far as I know is still with the person
user
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I can certainly understand how that feels. I have been in your EXACT situation.
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
It's horrible and hard to move on for sure
user
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How long were you with her?
assistant
Question
Don't laugh Our one year wedding anniversary was this past Sat. Which I know I shouldnt be so miserable but I am. I think because like some people have told me we were still in our honeymoon stage. We were not fighting or having big issues....she just cheated
user
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I'm so incredibly sorry to hear that. You realize this behavior, these choices, are a flaw within her, and not you?
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
It's hard to see that. I feel like a failure and not good enough Like why even get married in the first place if you are just going to cheat
user
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I can completely understand that as well. I blamed myself for quite some time as well.
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
Ya you wish you could go back in time and change things or never get married lol
user
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When you go to bed at night, if you can drift off to dream with a clear conscience, then you're doing significantly better than her! What are you doing to take care of you during this time?
assistant
Reflection of feelings,Information
Not much at all I feel like I'm in a funk and can't get out of it. My house is a disaster. I have a small business I am not in the mood to work on....I"ve been slacking in everything
user
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You are important! You matter! Why not do something that is relaxing to you?
assistant
Providing Suggestions
I do need to do something
user
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Do you have any post-it notes? Or paper and scotch tape?
assistant
Providing Suggestions
I do
user
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Here's what I've done for myself, and other folks that are close to me, going through struggles...
assistant
Providing Suggestions
ok
user
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Jot down inspirational messages and hang them up on the bathroom mirror, refrigerator, car, etc. "You matter", "You deserve the best", "You are the shiznit", etc
assistant
Information
the shiznet lol I will try that I need to do something
user
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Then, for the tasks that might be getting a bit behind, make a list, in order of importance -- and include a little reward for each task completed.
assistant
Providing Suggestions
Thats a good idea
user
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We have to take care of ourselves. After doing it for awhile, it just might become second nature to ya. And -- if continued, will show gals in the future exactly how you expect to be treated because they'll see you taking care of you (and not settling for nor accepting any doodie)
assistant
Providing Suggestions
I know I keep telling myself if I get my act together (physically, financially, etc) that I would attract better people....the kind I want to be with
user
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Whether you "have your act together" or not, it's up to you to determine who is worthy of being an active part of your life.
assistant
Information