My girlfriend just told me our relationship isn't working by text. She has recently started a new job and I think she may have met someone else.
No it was fun
Just get more workers to take part, perhaps higher rewards.
They were hard to get through to but it was fun
Nothing
How are you doing today?
assistant
Question
I'm not feeling great. I think my girlfriend may be cheating on me.
user
null
So you think she may, have started a relationship with someone else?
assistant
Restatement or Paraphrasing
Yes, I think so although I don't have any proof. Things were going really well and then all of a sudden she text me and told me things aren't working.
user
null
Ok, well that doesn't sound pleasant and must be difficult to hear. Perhaps her feelings have changed and there isn't necessarily another person involved?
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
She has started a new job and I think she might have met someone at work that she likes better than me. I can't believe she is doing this to me!
user
null
Ok so it seems like you are quite angry at the moment at the thought of her with someone else, is that true?
assistant
Reflection of feelings
Yes I suppose it is true. The thing is I thought things were going well and she is stressed out at work with her new job but we were getting on great!
user
null
I had a similar experience myself. My partner was stressed and I was busy myself. It turns out that I wasn't paying him enough attention and this made him feel like I didn't think he was important to me any more.
assistant
Self-disclosure
I haven't thought of it like that before but still I want to talk to her about it not just text me randomly and hint at ending things.
user
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From my experience, when I actually talked to my boyfriend we agreed to make more time for each other and things did improve.
assistant
Self-disclosure
Okay what do you think I should do about it because the text seemed very final? Looks like she has made her mind up already about things.
user
null
Sometimes people say one thing but actually mean another. They are complicated and don't always say what they really mean.
assistant
Information
Do you think that she wants to talk rather than end the relationship?
user
null
I cannot say for certain however I think you should talk to her but also prepare yourself for the fact that she may actually want to spend some time apart or end the relationship. it would be wise to prepare for that outcome as upsetting as it may be.
assistant
Providing Suggestions
That makes sense but it is not what I want to hear. After all we have been through together, we were even talking about getting our own place together and now all that will be for nothing!
user
null
I think you are reflecting on your plans together and the thought of the relationship ending is making you upset and angry.
assistant
Reflection of feelings
Yes that's right. I know getting angry doesn't help but I want things to go back to the way they were.
user
null
Ok so based on what you have told me I think that your girlfriend has got a new job and you are planning on moving in together is that correct?
assistant
Information
Yes that's right but that's what couples do isn't it?
user
null
It is but that is a lot of change all happening at once. Perhaps she is getting a little bit scared and rather than dealing with the situation she is running away, perhaps you should talk about this and see how she responds?
assistant
Providing Suggestions
I still think there is someone else that has come between us.
user
null
Have you got any evidence of this like seen a text message or has she behaves strangely?
assistant
Question
No I haven't, it is just a feeling.
user
null
Ok well it is natural to feel like this sometimes. People tend to fear the worst.
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
So do you think I should try and talk to her and ask her outright if she has met someone else?
user
null
I think rather than ask her that question directly, you could start the conversation and ask her why she is feeling this way. This would show you care and are prepared to listen without jumping to conclusions.
assistant
Providing Suggestions
I think I do need to calm down a bit and maybe talking to her would be the best way to start. I don;t know what I'd do though if she ended it.
user
null
The best thing to do would be prepared to have the conversation, stay calm and listen. She may just want to talk but also be prepared as it may not go the way you plan.
assistant
Providing Suggestions
Ok well maybe if I show her that I can stay calm and strong then she will stay with me?
user
null
Be prepared that she may end the relationship but getting angry is likely not to change her mind. Getting angry does not improve difficult conversations.
assistant
Information
I suppose I could go into it and listen as you have said, there could be other reasons like the new job or maybe morning in that is causing some of it. I'll try and keep calm but it is hard when emotions run high.
user
null
Take a deep breath and try to relax beforehand. Staying positive and allowing her to speak will make for a better conversation. She will be more likely to open up to you.
assistant
Providing Suggestions
That is actually pretty good advice. I hope we stay together and there is nobody else though.
user
null
I hope you manage to work it through and can at least talk about your feelings
assistant
Others
Hey thanks for the words of wisdom. Not sure I'll like the chat but I'll try and stay calm.
user
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