My bop mentor was just diagnosed with cancer
It was helpful
No
Hello my boss and mentor was just diagnosed with cancer
user
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Hello there, I am really sorry to hear that. Can you give me any more details?
assistant
Question
It showed up in her eyes. Right now they aren’t sure what stage until she gets more details.
user
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You must be feeling very distressed about it right now. I am happy to talk about it.
assistant
Restatement or Paraphrasing
Yes. She is trying to be strong and only told about 4 people. I am trying to be strong for her but it is hard not seeing someone in person right now.
user
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I know that this is a very difficult time for everyone, given the current situation with Coronavirus. It can't make things any easier for her.
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
No. It’s hard to have a good support system and I’m worried about her.
user
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Does she have anyone else around her who is supporting her?
assistant
Question
She has her husband but limited friends in there area. I want to make sure I am being there and providing correct support.
user
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Do you feel that you are not offering as much support as you might?
assistant
Reflection of feelings
Correct. She lives in another state. I’m not sure how to properly support her.
user
null,null
I know how you feel. It can be very difficult to know what to say if someone is seriously ill. Sometimes it's better just to offer quiet support and tell people that you are there to listen if they need you.
assistant
Self-disclosure
That is good advice. Have you been through something like that?
user
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Yes I have. My sister in law was diagnosed with cervical cancer and I wanted to be supportive but I had no real idea what to say.
assistant
Self-disclosure
How did you manage to support her. How did you make sure your mental health was also okay?
user
null
I actually talked to a counsellor about it. I think that you should do that, it might help you a lot.
assistant
Information
I think that is good advice. Maybe even a cancer support group? I want to make sure I’m encouraging her.
user
null,null
Counselling can be expensive but there are some charities out there that offer a few sessions for free Yes that is an excellent idea and you could both join the same group
assistant
Information,Others
That is a good idea. I know with covid it is important to be mindful of cost.
user
null,null
How do you feel in yourself at the moment? Are you worried about your own health?
assistant
Question
I’m not worried about my health. More worried and sad about her. Especially not knowing how severe it is yet. It seems like any extra stress this year is harder to handle.
user
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You are certainly not the only one who is feeling this - it has been a terrible year. Cancer is bad at any time but this year it is especially awful.
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
I agree. It feels like everything is just a bit harder to get through
user
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I am hoping that in the New Year things will be better .. maybe in January the world will look like a more positive place.
assistant
Others
I’m trying to be hopeful to That said I think it will take another year or two to get there
user
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I hope that things go well with you and your mentor.
assistant
Others
Thank you. This conversation has helped and you were able to offer good suggestions I think I will try to apply this going forward. And find a group to join.
user
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I am glad that I was able to help. I wish you all of the very best in the coming year. A group is an excellent idea! There are lots of online support groups you might find helpful.
assistant
Others,Others,Others
Thank you. I wish you the best to during the next year. Maybe a hard year is what we needed to appreciate the easier years.
user
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This could be true but I want to have an easier year next year!!
assistant
Others
Agrees. Thank you again.
user
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