My 25 year old son moved back home from NYC last March due to Covid. My boyfriend and I own the home together. My son due to losing his job has gone back to school online. The problem is that my son is so moody and disagreeable that my boyfriend is ready to move out and break up. We have lived together for 3 years.
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Hi! How are you doing today?
assistant
Question
I am struggling with how to turn in this situation. My son is unreasonable but I am trying to help him get through school. My boyfriend finds the situation intolerable.
user
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That sounds really hard. Does your son fight with you a lot?
assistant
Question
Yes, since he got back from NYC he is disrespectful. That is what is upsetting my boyfriend so much.
user
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What was he in NYC for? Have you tried getting counseling together?
assistant
Others,Providing Suggestions
He went to school there and left school to get acting jobs. He did get his sag and equity cards. He was also working as a caterer. Everything dried up due to Covid. In June, I convinced him to get into therapy but it is slow and I see jealousy with directed at my boyfriend.
user
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Has he gone to therapy with you? Maybe you can try doing some fun activties together. I know my brother had a lot of tension with my mom and finding something they could bond over really helped.
assistant
Providing Suggestions,Self-disclosure
I have tried biking and hiking as well as other activities. He is openly hostile. He does not want anything to do with my boyfriend. He does not want me to go to therapy with him.
user
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Does he give a reason why?
assistant
Question
He says to he does not like my boyfriend. He does not seem to appreciate that he is an adult living in our house. He is rather moody.
user
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How does your boyfriend handle it?
assistant
Question
Not too well I am afraid. He wants Andrew not to yell or be disrespectful. They have gotten into many arguments with each ordering the other out of the house. I work 50 to 60 hour weeks and this is stressing me. I want to make them happy. I feel there are two alpha males in the house. My son clearly needs boundries, but I want him to finish school and stay safe during covid
user
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That's such a hard position to be in. I am so so sorry that you need to go through this. I think trying to get them to therapy would be realaly amazing for both of you. Maybe you can incentivize your son to go somehow
assistant
Providing Suggestions,Providing Suggestions
I can try. I am trying to help him get through school, but if the behavior does not change he will have to leave. I don't want to chose my boyfriend over my son. I would rather side with my son, however he is acting like a spoiled child.
user
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Sometimes kids need some tough love which is really hard todo.
assistant
Providing Suggestions
Thank you. I did tell my parents who are in their 80's not to take him in. I feel that he needs to make decisions or at least have some kind of respect or gratitude while living here.
user
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What did your parents say?
assistant
Restatement or Paraphrasing
They agreed. He needs to get along or realize that at 25 he may need to figure out how to get his own place and support himself.
user
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Oh i didn't realize he aws 25. That's a good point. You can tell him that.
assistant
Restatement or Paraphrasing
I feel really torn but he needs boundries in behavior. I hate the turmoil.
user
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I am so sorry! I hope this was helpful!
assistant
Reflection of feelings,Others
You have been very supportive. Thank you!
user
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Great!! have a great day.
assistant
Others
you too!
user
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