I have come to realize I do not love my boyfriend any more and when I told him we needed to break up he said I would never find anyone who would love me because only he had the patience for my bullshit and now I cannot even believe I ever loved him.
No, this chat went a little smoother than the last one, I got a good partner this time.
Nothing that I can think of right at the moment.
Hello! What is on your mind today?
assistant
Question
Hello. I am so broken up and also disgusted from my break-up with my only long-term partner. I was so surprised by the hurtful things he said when we broke up I just don't know how to even manage my feelings about all the time we spent together.
user
null,null
I am so sorry to hear that. I know how that feels. That is horrible he said hurtful things, but perhaps he didn't know how to manage what he was feeling. Was it a mutual breakup or did something happen?
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance,Providing Suggestions,Question
Well, I suppose for him it came out of nowhere. But for me I just had slowly come to the realization that he was not the person for me. I fell out of love with him slowly and grew more annoyed by a lot of his behaviors. To me we were fighting a lot, and about dumb stuff like whether or not a salad is a meal. And I realized that we were fighting so much because I wanted him to eat healthier and be healthier and he was not going to change and it wasn't even right for me to change him if he didn't want help. So, I am sure he felt attacked and unattractive and so he lashed out at me.
user
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Realizing someone isn't the same you fell in love with seems valid. Fighting over a salad is definately not something most couples argue over. He probably did feel attacked, but I am sure he noticed the continual fighting as well It sounds like you did what was best for you. We all deserve to be happy, and it sounds like you really were not anymore. Are you having any regrets on the breakup?
assistant
Restatement or Paraphrasing,Affirmation and Reassurance,Affirmation and Reassurance,Question
I think I did the right thing, not just for me but for him. It isn't fair to keep dating someone just because being single is hard. I just still get weird lingering feelings wondering if he was right and maybe I am too much for a lot of people. I don't think he is right, and my friends disagree but it still hurts and I can still hear him tell me no one would ever love me. No, I don't think I have any regrets.
user
null,null
I think I have said the same thing in a breakup so I wouldn't take that personal.
assistant
Self-disclosure
Yeah? I suppose people just say things when they are hurt.
user
null
People say things they dont mean, or just say mean things to hurt because they are hurting lol exactly I bet there is someone out there for you, you jut need to find someone whos ideas of the future line up with yours
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance,Others,Providing Suggestions
Thank you. Hopefully someone who doesn't fight over whether salad is valid dinner choice!
user
null
Perhaps if you set up a dating profile have that be an intro question: is a salad a meal? you can weed people out that way!!!!
assistant
Providing Suggestions
haha yeah!
user
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It sounds like you are going to be okay, and I am sure you will find someone when the time is right!
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
Yeah. I think things will work out eventually. Thank you, you are a really supportive listener.
user
null,null