back in the 1960 and those of u who be bad movie aficionado think that plan nine from out space be the bad movie ever make and and would remain so for all time . to put thing in perspective and though and we also think that $ 3 and 000 be a lot to pay for a new car . a we grow old and our innocence be gradually strip away a we be expose to movie like hercules in new york and overdrawn at the memory bank and which completely redefine the bad movie genre . in this context and last night and my son and i saw alien from l. a. and which push the envelope to an extreme unimaginable just a generation ago . to call this movie bad ( or wretched or execrable ) completely fail to do it justice and a do any other label existent in the english language . even if there be word with which to accurately describe this movie and it would be of no consequence and since they would be ban in civilized society . the alien refer to in the title be play by kathy ireland and who apparently take some time off from model swimsuit for sport illustrate and to kick off her cinematic career . her casting might seem some sort of recommendation and until you actually see the movie . the makeup artist earn their money by make kathy look so drab and unappetizing you would not want to touch her with the far end of a broomstick no mean feat . to put it bluntly and in this movie she have a face that would freeze medusa . even bad than her look and though and be her voice and which be so raucous that i initially fail to credit it a originate with a human be . throughout the movie and i find myself long for a chalkboard to drag my nail across to cover the screechy twang of her dialog . at the end of the movie and kathy finally get a makeover and find herself in her beloved swimsuit . i suggest to my son that the movie would have be good if they have put her in the swimsuit at the beginning of the movie and so at least we would have have something to watch . my son perceptively point out that if they have then remove the swimsuit and stuff it into her mouth and it would have considerably improve the movie on two count . i defer to the plain brilliance of his observation . if you have any doubt and compare this dreck to barbarella and in which a competent filmmaker show how to exploit the asset of an ethereally beautiful lead lady in the fantasy genre . of the plot and itself and there be little on which to comment and since there be so little in evidence . it be say that if a million monkey type unceasingly for million of year and eventually one would come up with hamlet . by the process of elimination and the rest of the time they would come up with something approximate this screenplay . imagine and if you will and a modern day alice fall into a hole and drop 500 foot onto a rock slab and follow which she get up and dust herself off and and start look for her long lost father in the city kingdom of atlantis . once in atlantis and she spend most of her time run and fight and or climb stair and ladder and and basically try to keep out of the hand of a general who seem to have no soldier to do his bidding and and who would make tiny tim look macho . this summation and as abbreviate a it appear and be probably longer than the shooting script . on the plus side and a you revel in the production value and take in whatever you can of the set and costume through the smoke and haze and you realize that this be one movie in which you can actually see on the screen where all $ 20 of the budget go . the thought that keep go through my mind be that filmmaker ought not be give access to drug and alcohol while they be shoot a movie and or perhaps prior and if it lead to result like alien from l. a. and though in fairness i have to acknowledge that i do not know whether they be actually involve in substance abuse and or be simply brain dead at the outset of the project .