just a the whole cast and crew know f all about film making . this film concern the adventure and predicament of a modern day cockney vampire assassin and and an age old spat with her seemingly jaded vampire lover . that plot in itself reek of clichés and promise of boredom when on a small a scale a film a this and and that exactly what you get . first off let me say that i by no mean dismiss film because they be b movie and in fact some of my favourite film be b movie such a jesus christ represent vampire hunter and but this one miss the mark by a mile . anyone with any knowledge of small budget film will know that the acting be rarely gripping and emotional and but razor blade smile create a whole new dimension of ham it up on screen . some of the so called acting be just indescribably bad and with character spew cheesy one liners that fall flat and and discourse express about as much emotion and conviction a the terminator after a couple of horse tranquilliser . a vast portion of the film be also take up by the vampiric character and the protagonist in particular and unnecessarily flap their mouth and show off their ridiculously large vampire teeth and exhale very loudly . it literally must happen in almost every scene at least once and and quickly become annoy and pointless and a if that many look of slack jaw supposedly scary vampire face be use to merely fill a little bit of time and pad out the rest of this turd sandwich of a film . contrary to what some of the other reviewer believe on here and i feel this film ( the director in particular ) be really try to take this film seriously in many part . the sheer number of overly dramatic action shot and extreme close ups seem to indicate to me that the director really want people to feel this film and make it legitimate to it genre and not spoof it and and he fail miserably . the attempt at supposedly tasteful sex scene come out a comic and silly and the action sequence be sometimes just plain stupid . also the end of this film be one of the weak and most pathetic conclusion i have see to a film and b movie or not . when film such a this force you to sit through hour of themselves only to be reward with a oh it be all a game end it be actually sicken . it the conclusion to the plot feel like an afterthought of the director that he figure out on the last day of shoot because they have run to the end of their shoestring budget . but i have not rat this film a one star despite the overwhelming crappiness and and this be because of the only plus point i can really give this film . intentionally or not and it be funny . i be fairly sure the part i find humorous be not intend to be and and i find most of the effort at genuine gag to be fruitless and but when watch with friend it be a good film to take the mickey out of .