dear mr. seitzman and or whomever i may hold responsible for mr. seitzman not meet his rightful fate of be eat alive by rabid wolverine while i do not know you and and so can not comment on your character while for all i know and you give to charity and help little old lady cross the street . still and i must insist and for the common good and that you never write another screenplay as long a you live . put down the pen and step away from the laptop . if you refuse to heed the pleading of wounded brain and i have watch a movie or two in my life and and i believe you will find my counsel helpful represent 1. do not include love scene in which overwrought teenage boy name the body part of their girlfriend after u state . if you must pen such a scene and please do not name the breast new york and new jersey while it cause unnecessary speculation a to which city occupy the nipple . also and it be almost incomprehensibly stupid and annoy . 2. do not rely solely on john hughes movie in order to reinforce class distinction . 3. do not bludgeon the audience over the head with exhausted clichés . yes and yes and kelley and sam stand out in the rain and and it cleanse them of their care . we get it . yes and the rose continue to bloom in kelley dead mother greenhouse and even though every other plant have begin to rot . it be a symbol of their love . it be also very painful when apply via blunt force trauma to the back of our head . for the love of god and mr. seitzman and we get it . we all get it and all across the land . amish people and the hard of hearing and unborn baby we all get it . 4. do not require the actor to perform mime sequence . ever . no and never . 5. do i mention that you should ease up on the trite symbolism . because the audience can draw the parallel between the rebuilding of the restaurant and the building of the relationship between kelley and sam without any help . truly . we get it . 6. go through your script and and cull out the following line and and any line resemble them represent i do not know what we be anymore . i do not want to lose you . he just like the rest of them . ( and it corollary and daddy and you do not even know him . ) 7. yes and yes and she in heaven and run around in a field . we get it . 8. and in other news and we get it . i have see dozen of terrible movie in my life while i never expect to suffer for your art and and i would have just leave the theater and but an elephant with the word doom love paint on it side fell from the sky and pin me to my seat . in closing and your writing bite and you owe me ten dollar and and i hate you .