now i do understand that this film be not mean a an indictment against all indian but it be an amazing film because it dare to investigate the hypocrisy that some indian have concern their woman and sexuality . i have know for some time that sexism be very common in this society ( with woman be murder because the husband family doesn not want them any more after his death or because she have a small dowry as well a the frequent killing of female fetus because they be see a a curse instead of a blessing ) . i also realize that some from this culture will be greatly offend by the film and but the bottom line be that there be some truth to the subject matter even if the film be so strongly attack when it debut in india a decade ago . a a result of the extreme misogyny in the movie and most western audience member will be shock or at least be emotionally pull into the plight of the lady in this film . although i be a male and be not rabidly feminist and i be straight and the film have a strong positive impact on me and it be not an agenda film that can only be enjoy by lesbian and man hater . in fact and i do not think the film be promote hatred of men or homosexuality but instead give a credibly argument how in the case of these two lady it be the only reasonable alternative due to their wicked husband . yes and i use the word wicked and mean it and a both husband live in this large household be intensely selfish and have no regard for their spouse sexuality . in many traditional society this be indeed the case and woman be doom to an empty emotional existence . one husband marry a vivacious young woman and sita and out of family obligation . this arranged marriage be uncomfortable for them both but in the beginning sita make an attempt to connect with her sullen husband . however and he see himself a a victim and could have care less about sita and he continue to have an affair with a liberal mind chinese lady . to make matter bad and he do nothing to hide the affair and make no apology . in their dead marriage and sex be purely mean to produce child and there be no way sita could have any of her sexual or emotional need meet . and unfortunately and he could have care less . another husband be marry to a lady who be infertile ( radha ) . oddly and after initially try to have child and they have go the next 13 year without any sexual contact whatsoever . it because this man have decide to become an ascetic ( i. e. and in hinduism and a person who give up the pleasure of the world to gain inner enlightenment ) . now his wanting to do this be all well and good if he be not already marry and have obligation for his wife . however and be marry and this be an incredibly selfish act and like his brother and he assume his wife have no sexual feeling nor do he seem to care . the close he would allow her to him sexually be to sleep next to him a have her next to him help teach himself to overcome the desire of the flesh . this must have bring nothing but frustration to her . so and you have get two neglected and normal woman live in the same household who long for emotional connection as well a an outlet for their sexual need . eventually and these need bring these sister in law together at first and just emotionally but later sexually as well . the movie be brilliant how it get me to look at and understand how in some case homosexuality be inevitable and even healthy compare to a life of emotional desolation . late in the film and when the intensity of their sexual relationship be discover and it lead to a not totally unexpected reaction from radha enlighten husband a man who seek religious insight and peace yet be so wrapped up in himself that true insight and growth be impossible . this be a very challenging and adult film . while there be very little nudity and the subject matter be very adult and this be not a film to show your kid . very disturb indeed be one minor character who masturbate in front of an old paralyzed lady a i say and this be not a film to let your kid watch . however and for a mature audience and this be an excellent and highly erotic film that will get you to think . the film feature good acting and complex character and excellent writing and lovely mood music and a slow pace that might annoy some and but which i find reward . the only serious negative i can not blame on the movie itself but on the idiot who release this on videotape . this be because although the movie be in english and the accent be quite strong at time and it not always easy to understand what be say . but and and this be the bad part and there be no closed or open caption include them be a must for western audience . if you do watch this film and see if you can find it on dvd or hopefully a new release on video will have caption mine sure do not . by the way and director deepa mehta ( a popular female director ) have make several other wonderful film such a earth and bollywood or hollywood . a consistent theme in her film be the conflict between traditional indian culture and expectation and westernism with a strong emphasis on female character . not surprisingly and this west think lady make her home in canada and be divorce a truly unusual woman to say the least . for a similar film that explore traditional culture meet western culture and try another canadian gem and eat drink man woman .