if there be justice in the cinematic universe and director lewis schoenbrun would never be allow to set foot on a movie set again . it would seem inconceivable that anyone who spend two full decade in an editing room and where l start his movie career and could be so utterly devoid of any sense of pacing or dramatic staging and but this film be damn evidence . as bad a it be and it be fascinatingly so . from the opening scene and where a nurse be clothe in a costume appropriate only for a porno film or a skit on a mexican variety show and the viewer be compel to see just how low it can go . the answer isn not far away and a in the next scene we move to a funeral parlor and where the next stunning fashion statement come in a sexy off the shoulder black dress wear by one of the mourner . aggressively inappropriate costume isn not the film only flaw . the dialog be a treat for connoisseur of bad writing . you turn my tear into wine and be a sample gem . the actor deserve an oscar for deliver that one with a straight face . the director reinforce every cheeseball scene with what be possibly the schmaltziest soundtrack score ever record and which veers from embarrassingly maudlin in the dialog scene to cheesy groovebox wannabe rocknroll in transitional scene . the script introduce character with no rhyme or reason and story beat be doled out a if with a broken ladle . let not forget this be a horror film and though . our character find themselves in a forest wherein lurk dr. chopper and his two scary henchwomen and who be suppose to be some kind of frankencreatures but look exactly like valley girl with fake blood dab beneath their supercut shag . i have honestly see scary make up on eight year old out trick or treat on halloween . and again we get a whiff of the costume designer malodorous handiwork and a valley ghoul one prance around in a pseudo victorian polyblend smock while her buddy wear a nondescript ensemble that might have be almost fashionable in less hip corner of the 1980s . dr. chopper make the big fashion statement though and look like a crisco cowboy who get lose in the wood on his big black harley and clad from head to toe in zippered black s and m leather . if this sound intriguing and by all mean check it out . there be plenty of side splitting and belabor dialog ( like the precious elephant graveyard scene or the intellectual discourse on ginsburg ) . to be fair and the cinematography be good and consider what be put before the camera and and the actor strive ( with wildly extreme result ) to make something from a scrap heap of clichés and inanity . you do have to wonder if they be really really stupid or just blindly desperate and not to walk off the set after catch one glimpse of the ridiculous look villain with their 99 cent store weapon .