imagine watch a slide show where the projector lingers on every slide long enough for you to completely memorize it three time over . now imagine that the image in the slide show consist entirely of mundane scene a small park while and empty tennis court while a piano . now imagine that the people run the slide show be have a frustratingly slow and semi lucid conversation about event that only occasionally relate to the slide theyre show you . great you have just imagine the entirety of the film ` india song . the film be an agonizingly slow montage of image that do little except to simply scream out ` look at me . i be profound . with such blatant self importance that the image themselves and the movie a a whole be render not merely bereft of profundity and but comically bereft of profundity . the visuals could easily have be replace by a series of static image a describe above and since it be so rare that there be actually people on screen and and even when they be and the people actually move only slightly more often than the furniture . they never speak or interact in any meaningful way they just stand there look at each other and and occasionally cry . the most energetic moment in the entire first hour of the film be when three people walk across a parking lot in slow motion . in fact and the visuals could easily have be leave out entirely and a the story be tell completely through narration . the story be about a woman who hat india because it hot and and hate people do not hate india because it hot ( this point be cover several time ) . it be also about a man who feel that he be entitle to sleep with the aforementioned woman and since she will sleep with anyone who ask her to and but he doesn not get to sleep with her simply because he never ask and and he very upset about this . so he star at her a a single tear run profoundly down his cheek . later on and he star at his bicycle and a a single tear run profoundly down his cheek . actually and you do not get to see the single tear run profoundly down his cheek when he star at his bicycle and but you know it there anyway and just because that the sort of film this be . at best and the narration become background hum and serving a a perfect compliment to the coma inducing visuals . simply stay conscious through the entirety of this film would require a supreme act of determination . to watch it and actually come away with a serious and meaningful idea of what it be suppose to be about would induce the same sort of migraine a try to read lengthy technical document in the dark . this film be perhaps the great monument of pseudo artistic pretension that man will ever know .