i remember when the love machine be first release to theater . i be a mere 13 year old and too young to see the much ballyhooed motion picture release and but not too old to take my mom paperback copy of the jacqueline susann novel to school and pore over the naughty bit with my schoolmate . though i be not sure what my problem be at such an early age and but i be very much into the book . i buy and wear an ankh ring just like on the paperback cover and and i remember the ad for the perfume and xanadu that be cross promote and feature clumsily in the film . despite such an interest i do not actually see the film until several year later . i should have leave thing a they be . the love machine be hand down the bad of the many bad film adapt from susann novel . which of course make it the most fun to watch . it fault be many represent from it hopscotching script that jump choppily from one incident to another with nary a connect thread while it dated and horny ( brass instrument and i mean ) music score of ersatz bacharach while the flat and first take performance while the boring sexuality i have never see bathrobe feature so prominently in a movie before . it like a fetish . whenever sex and nudity or something sleazy be call for and out pop somebody in a blue robe . very odd and that while and most certainly and the circus train of awful 70 fashion that be on endless display . poor dyan cannon performance ( which be no great shake anyway and but head over the rest of the cast ) be consistently undermine by the jaw drop get ups she call upon to wear . however and the film chief liability be the stoic and stone like john philip law a ( appropriately enough ) robin stone and the object of every girl ( and one over the top flaming male photographer ) affection . law be just awful and performs a if he be pull off the street and hand the page of the script in hurry and tell to give a cold reading on the spot . just lifeless . not only that and but he appear in desperate need of a blood transfusion or something . he look wan and sickly throughout and be several pound small than most of his female costars . robin stone should be a hunk and not a hankie . for anyone find the film hard go ( it rather slow by today standard ) i beg you to stick around for the climactic fight scene . here ms. cannon ( balance 23 pound of teased hair ) finally abandon her heretofore starchy acting style and let loose with that infectiously raucous laugh of hers and set in motion a truly memorable free for all that should have become a cinema clip highlight by now . try to rival valley of the doll infamous wig down the toilet scene and the love machine finally do something right . jacqueline susann unique brand of trash be sorely miss . perhaps someone out there own the right to rona barrett the lovomaniacs and will revive the genre .