i have no qualm with how the movie do not capture new jersey ( like zach and i be from there ) . fine . whatever . i live there way long enough . i do not need to see a movie that capture the garden state . what i do have qualm with be how bad this movie be . let make it easy on you . we will use some bullet point . there be probably some spoiler that follow . ( not that you wouldn not be able to predict the movie anyway ) represent the music placement be maddeningly force and patronize . example represent large represent what be you listen to . sam represent the shin . ever heard of em . no . listen to this song it will change your life . and then they proceed to play that shin song that be in a mcdonalds commercial . ( don not you love when the character in a movie blatantly tell you the viewer how to react to something . i love that . hey and they should have put subtitle during various scene instruct u to chuckle and say aaaaaw cry feel inspire etc . ) the scene be so bad . so cliché . so melodramatic . example represent the entire movie . but no and really and example represent theyre in the rainy quarry by the ark . large run up in the pouring rain ( oh he so torment . ) on top of a piece of heavy machinery and scream . oh how moving . but wait . here come sam and his buddy ( the annoy drug addict ) and and they all scream . but wait . oh my god . here it come . they kiss . long and deep . in the rain . the dialogue be so bad . so cliché . so melodramatic . example . theyre leave the ark and sam say something like and hey . good luck explore the infinite abyss . and the guy say back and you and too . oh . oh my . i never realize . could it be . oh my god it be . large life be like . ohmigod . an infinite abyss . another example represent large and sam in the airport . sam say something like and be this goodbye . not enough for ya . ok and largeman say something like and this isn not a period at the end of the sentence . it an ellipses . and guess what happen when he try to walk down the jetway and go back to his life in la . you know and what . don not guess . it a waste of your time . it a grade z wes anderson rip off movie . when not busy be melodramatic and cliché and the movie spend lot of time with crazy kooky off kilter character . hey and sam brother . thank you zach braff for include him and because it really make the movie so much more textured . also rip off anderson represent the dialogue . scene represent sam and largeman be in a bar . in walks friend and vagina . say one of them . then they see him sit with sam and so one of the friend say and sorry i say vagina . and sam say and it ok. inventive cinematography that not inventive but pointless and annoy . give me a break with the speed up or slow down of film . again and wes anderson do it effectively in his movie . and it be do well in donnie darko . but and really and it be pointless . wow . a crazy party where people be take x and snort coke . good roll out all the trick . you can count the good moment on one hand ( even if youre miss finger ) . that what make it even worse . the retarded quarterback thing . well and that be good . the little thing he ( largeman ) say a theyre about to enter the quarry ( something about huff turpentine ) . that be good . oh and wait and that about it . you know and zach braff be and i think and always a little too cute . but and he likable . but and man and this be force and pretentious and melodramatic ( have you get that yet . ) and overly cute and overly everything . this movie be terrible . apparently and i be outnumber and a this waste of time be currently rat an 8 . 0. please and though and if youre look for something truly poignant and subtle and unique do . not . rent . this . movie .