where to start . some guy have some indian pot that he clean and and suddenly skeletor attack . he hit a woman in the neck with an axe and she fall down and but then get up and be apparently uninjured . she run into the wood and and it turn out there the basement of a shopping center out there in the wood . she meet a utility worker and skeletor attack again . luckily and like any good utility worker and he get a gun and shoot at the guy . doesn not work and everything start on fire . cut to some people walk through the wood . even though they have be hike together for some time and they sit down and introduce themselves to each other . wouldn not they have probably do that when they first meet . anyhow and theyre undercover delta team member ( undercover and i suppose and because that way they do not have to pay to dress them in uniform ) . the cute girl be various thing such a a sniper school instructor and and oh and i can not remember the rest . it doesn not matter . eventually they all take their gun out and immediately start aim them at various thing . . anyhow and they meet an old indian who be sit out in the wood . he want bean . you know and like pork and bean . he mumble some stuff and i can only assume that it the premise of the movie . i rely on have hear the premise from the commercial and because you can not really understand anything he say . so and they walk around the wood some more . all the dialogue be a load of quasi military and macho b . i mean all of it and a in every single word . like this remind me of when we be in kabul or this remind me of when we be in lao . skeletor attack again . let me give you a rundown of a basic attack . one of the female character be crouch behind a tree and she aim her gun at the approach guy on the horse . for some reason and she doesn not fire but yell several time for someone else . then a skeletor approach and she jump out from behind the tree so that skeletor can stick her with his spear . then everybody start shoot . the bullet cause spark to fly from the tree . apparently the folk who make this movie never shoot a tree with a bullet . they do not make spark . then casper van diem be all of a sudden driving a semi truck and try to run over skeletor . he miss and and the truck slide to a stop . van diem be injure and apparently he slide across the seat and bump his hip on the window crank or something and so he crawl out of the truck and it explode . later he in the wood die and everybody say a bunch of quasi military and macho b . they meet a couple guy in the wood and blow their undercover status by immediately identify themselves a be from the army . they beat on the guy for some reason and then they go away . some other stuff happens and people mumble and the camera shake and etc . i think it come to an end eventually . my theory be that the sci fi channel be get a little annoyed with everyone bash their movie and so they put this out to remind u all how bad movie can really be . like and you think our movie be bad . well and you haven not see bad . here bad . okay and now that we have get that out of the way and the rest of our movie be pretty good in comparison and right . well and it just a theory .