dryly irreverent and but sadly unfunny satire of detective movie and with stony face michael caine play a british author of trashy crime story travel to the mediterraean to assist in write the memoir of a would be gangster while soon and he realize he be follow and his life be in danger . caine narrate the proceeding with considerable sly wit and low key sarcasm and but his actual performance be bereft of energy ( caine shrill burst of anger or frustration seem to come out of nowhere and and he connect with nobody on the screen ) . other cast member ( particularly mickey rooney and a silver haired lionel stander and and lizabeth scott ) do very well in colorfully outré role and though al lettieri have an insulting part a an apparent cross dress homosexual ( lettieri get insult without be able to defend himself and an unenviable position ) . writer director mike hodges have the germ of a good idea ( satirize the detective movie of the 1940s without compromise the hard boil talk and milieu ) and but he hasn not a very sharp sense of humor . when a bogart lookalike ask a question about a falcon be the best joke and what follow be anemic indeed . from .