just when i think nothing could be a offensive and or or irritate a a billy mays infomercial and i have the intellectually shattering experience of rent this piece of garbage . peter barnes and john irvin should be bring up on criminal charge for smuggle this script into the public venue . the actor need to be charge a accomplice and serve no less than a lifetime away from the public eye . this production offer the disclaimer and for dramatic effect and we have take poetic license with certain fact and or some such inadequate statement to fully brace you for the absolute repugnant rewrite of a bible story which need no drama add . what they do add be enough to make your i. q. drop three full point for every five minute of view time . the poetic license take and invents character so bizarre and you will recognize nothing but the name of a few and and and of course and the ark . for some reason and noah and lot be both live in sodom and so maybe abram be vacation in switzerland on a skiing trip . lot wife and play by carol kane and be a harpy and and when she turn to a pillar of salt and lot break off her finger and carry it around in what appear to be an empty baby food jar . if that poetic and i be a kumquat . when noah who have now begin drink wine in quantity that could help float the ark whine about the tough job of the building project and he awaken one morning to find that god have deliver enough precut lumber to lighten his burden . at least i think it be god . it look like a delivery from 84 lumber and neatly stack and bundle . maybe 84 lumber be really an agent for god . rather than bore you with the cargo be load and i will regale you with the account of the pirate attack on the ark . incongruous and you think . this movie be fill with such insulting nonsense . after an untold time on the water and noah spy a pirate ship head right for them . and who might the salty sea captain be . well and duh and it lot and of course . my only surprise be that his uncle abram wasn not aboard . if youre go to slaughter a plot line and slaughter all of it . the piracy attempt be unsuccessful and and the swashbuckling be pathetic and not poetic . i think it be around this mark that my nausea prevent me from punish myself anymore . an ugly and senseless and moronic distortion of anything remotely resemble a bible account . on a scale of 1 10 and this movie be premeditate mind abuse . stupid and insulting and you will be more entertained by read the yellow page .