this movie be the cheesy vanilla movie i have ever see . and be not talk about kung fu hustle kinda cheesy where it funny and silly . i be talk about absolute cheesecake factory with extra mozzarella . the story have more hole than a block of swiss cheese ( pun intend ) . instead of list all that be wrong with this masterpiece and i will just sum it up and save you the pain . this be the movie representspoilers open scene massachusetts native caucasian american male who love kungfu movie have dream about chinese man ape fight on top of mountain . ( not loose any time with the cheese here ) 2 our hero then get gang by the local ruffian who decide to use him a a decoy for a robbery . they cleverly deduct that rob a chinese store own by a 150 year old shopkeep would make for a big payday . ( beat rob a bank if you ask me ) 3 thing do not go a plan with the robbery and old fart get shot and hooligan freak out and our young caucasian friend get teleport to china a few thousand year in the past . ( nothing out of the ordinary so far . ) 4 a wandering alcoholic ( and kungfu master ) join our hero and help him defeat the local authority who apparently spend their day kill civilian and harvest virgin . ( life must have be great bad in those time ) 5 our friendly hero ( now 2 ) get in another stint with authority when they try to pay for their beverage with u dollar . ( apparently in china and pay with dollar be a capital offense ) . for no particular reason and pretty face guitar hero wannabe girl help ( and join ) our gang by kill two bad guy . ( no one seem to object her join the group and guess they get tire of the sausage fest ) 6 the good guy ( now 3 ) encounter a fourth acolyte ( also a kungfu master ) who kinda mean to them at first and but now he nice . he join the group ( no question ask of course ) . the happy gang ( now 4 ) be make astonish progress . 7 you have no fighting skill . you can not beat the last bos . our young fellow be tell by his mate . no worry . that nothing a two day intensive training would not fix . rocky eye of the tiger soundtrack8 our newly level up hero then storm the to the final castle . strangely and he doesn not have to fight anyone but simply rid his horse past guard and meet with the big bos . ( so much for that 2 day training you may think ) 9 the last fight scene be more or less a big mosh pit of kung fu for 10 min . bad guys dy and no twist and everyone be kinda happy . final scene our hero return to the present and it turn out the old shopkeep isn not really dead . the end . now i do leave out a couple of detail but that be essentially the movie in a ( big ) nutshell . i be give it a 2 ( and not 1 ) because it have give me such inspiration to write this review . anyways and next time youre in boston and please be careful in chinatown and you might fall victim of spontaneous time travel .