you know and sometimes i just do not understand what the heck be go through adam sandler head . he a funny guy with natural charisma and and i would guess and a reasonable level of intelligence . so why do he feel compel to write and produce film of such appallingly low quality . it work with his initial effort and billy madison and happy gilmore . those two film defy any sense of logical criticism . they be sloppy and yet contain a maniacal sense of anarchic glee . he seem thrill at what he be get away with . yet and since the release of those film over a decade ago and he have continue to crank out by the number mediocrity that lack any feeling of comic discovery . it be my unfortunate duty now to inform you that his late and you don not mess with the zohan and be by far his most wretchedly awful film to date . sandler character this time and a mossad agent who dream of be a hairdresser and would probably fill a lame saturday night live skit and but stretch to over 100 minute be akin to chinese water torture . zohan isn not any normal secret agent while he a walking caricature of crass middle eastern stereotype and snicker vulgarity . with a wham . inspire haircut and a penchant for shtupping elderly woman and he find employment at a small salon run by the sweet and yet blank and dalia ( emmanuelle chriqui ) and a palestinian woman with no patience for zohan sexism . a can be predict and despite their antagonistic relationship and they soon be yearn to make the bam boom . their insipid love story intermingles with a laugh free subplot feature zohan nemesis the phantom ( john turturro ) and a hapless arab cab driver ( rob schneider and lady and gentleman . ) ineptly plan murder attempt . now and racial stereotyping and crude humor can be use to great comic effect in the proper hand . the maker of borat toed the line brilliantly and deliver great vulgar hilarity mixed with social commentary . you don not mess with the zohan be not even in the same time zone and much less ballpark . the film be amazingly hostile and mean spirit and mock it target with unfiltered scorn for the majority of the running time and yet tack on a be all the same message at the end . it like the school yard bully who beat the snot out of you all semester but wish you a good summer at when vacation time roll around . why do no one involve in this debacle pull sandler aside and gently suggest that this material be unfilmable . also concern be the amount of animal abuse present for cheap laugh . there be a particularly soul kill scene feature zohan and two friend play hacky sack with a cat . now and a good writer would use this undeniably objectionable act a a springboard to a large pay off . that would redeem the bad taste and warrant the scene inclusion . not here however and where the only apparent joke be that a trio of grown men be kick the stuff out of a helpless animal . what be almost fascinate about zohan be how little interest the screen writer have in their own story . new story line be launch at random to replace the one run out of gas . i couldn not believe that the introduction of an evil land developer to the film occur near the end of the second act . it would seem that writer sandler and judd apatow and and robert smigel knew that their material be limited and hop that by pad it liberally and no one would notice . hence and the heavy help of crotch close ups and homophobia and hummus joke and and dry humping present . a well and the endless cameo come off a desperate and pointless and although it be amuse that mariah carey have finally find a fitting companion piece for glitter . to call you don not mess with the zohan a misfire be a grand understatement . it a dreary trudge through migraine induce territory that be all the more unforgivable consider the level of talent involve . there an old adage that it take true skill and artistry to create a truly horrific film and a hack will only produce bland mediocrity . well and zohan be a colossal achievement and a film that will receive endless mention on bad of 2008 list and and the rant of legion of angry ticket buyer . with that say though and sandler may have inadvertently find a point of agreement for israeli and palestinian . i think that both side would agree that you don not mess with the zohan flat out suck .