torch song have to be see to be believe . joan and a jenny stewart and apparently a top broadway star and stomp her way through the entire film with as much grace a godzilla and destroy anything that irritate her and everything irritate her . a we watch jen or joan careen down this warpath and one get the odd feeling that faye dunaway base her entire mommie dear role on joan tour de force performance in torch song ( oh and i be sorry and torch song ) . there be several scene in this agonizing film where joan seem bore out of her skull and time just pass a she play with her pull down lamp and push button on some kind of intercom or radio and flop down on the bed and stare at the ceiling you know and the sort of rivet moment that keep an audience glue to their seat . it be a wonder why someone do not off this character early on in the film and she be so hateful and cruel and obnoxious . and yet and base on information i hear directly from the writer of a once top rat tv show and there be actress ( and actor ) who really be as horrid a the vicious fang bar demon that joan portray in this hideous laughfest . one of the fun thing about this movie be every time you see joan she in a new outfit . some of them be horrify and like her hangover halting canary yellow robe . others clearly show off her girlish waist and great gam . but no matter what she wear and her face look like it could scare the russian army straight to siberia and non stop and run through the snow in their bare foot if it would help get them there faster . the big reveal at the end be so absolutely pathetic a to be laughable . be ask to believe that because mike wilding a tye graham can not see his hot blonde fellow musician ( because he lose his sight in wwii ) and that he could never love her ( even though she young and pretty and sweeter and a billion time well for him than jenny ) . be ask to believe that because tye saw jenny in a musical right before he leave for the war ( which even she admit she wasn not that good in ) and review it for a newspaper and that and somehow and seven year later and she will find it in her big charcoal black heart to love him . why would she . why would he want to love her . it all fabricate and insane . and to add an extra cherry on top of the sundae and be ask to believe that even though he be a journalist and go to war and then come back blind and now he be suddenly a brilliant pianist who know every note of every song jenny be go to ( lip synch ) sing and even though it a new show with new song that the public hasn not hear yet song that he already have memorize ( because jenny former md and who could not stand her and teach mike the song ) . right . then we have gig young . why be he in this movie . he a drunken sod and jenny seem to keep him around just so she can insult him . he serve absolutely no other purpose . then and a another reviewer point out and he vanish mid way through the film and never to be see again . no great loss . probably the most exciting scene be when jenny decides to throw a party on a sunday night after a week of grueling rehearsal because she have her eye on tye and want to get to know him good . all the other guest at the party be men . pay attention represent it be so unbelievably and shockingly gay it be hard to believe it get past the censor . jenny specifically ask for tye to entertain that night but tye be busy ( this infuriate her ) and so instead some gorgeous hot young black man with a honeyed voice show up and sings instead . he cute for sure and and one of the male guest lean on the piano and mesmerize by his voice ( and probably what under his tuxedo ) . then and when jenny learn that tye isn not go to come to the party and she tell her agent ( in the privacy of her bedroom which look like it be lift off the set of twilight zone ) to get everyone out of her apartment now . he walk out and five second later you can hear the party stop instantly a she sit in cold stone silence on her bed . it be so sad and stupid . then the end and when and after discover the review that tye write about her and jenny realizes that all this time he have be try to tell her that he love her and she rush to his absolutely fabulous gorgeous perfectly appoint apartment and ( apparently ) tell his blonde sycophant wannabe girlfriend to get lose ( all very subtly actually ) . then mike and joan have their absolutely unbelievable moment of human warmth and make asinine joke about his see eye dog and and then kiss each other with all the excitement of two mannequin on prozac . the entire film be wash in jar technicolor color that resemble reality as much a i resemble brad pitt ( and honey and trust me and i dont ) and and unfortunately joan come off a some kind of monstrous drag queen . the last thing that drive me insane through this must see disaster be joan hair . i do not know who determine that this cut be go to work for joan and but she look like someone root around mamie eisenhower hamper and dig out a used wig with ghastly tight curl and bang and swirl and give her the look of either a former lobotomy patient or a 50 overpriced dominatrix . i really do not know what anyone be try to say with this film and but trust me and whatever it be and it can not possibly compare to when joan order lobster newburg and coffee now that be say something ( even if it pathetic ) .