why do i headline this review with that comment . because it give you an idea on how this movie be and it should have be call the crud because that be all i get out of this piece of junk . it look like a version of grumpy old goodfellas except grumpy old men be funny and goodfellas be excellent drama and the crew come nowhere near those film for quality . back in the 1960 four men be make the big buck back in new jersey ( all the gangster come from either new york or new jersey and it in the mobster film rule book ) . then come the year 2000 and the four men have age and be now live in miami beach with a good view of the ocean . there the leader bobby bartellemeo ( richard dreyfus ) and the short temper joey bat pistella ( burt reynolds ) and mike the brick ( dan hedaya ) and and tony the mouth donato ( seymor cassel ) . the retirement complex that these men live in be lose the old and bringing in the young ( because they love the ocean view ) . so these four men decide to fake a murder so every youning would move out . the problem be the already dead body be the father of a short temper drug lord ( miguel sandoval ) . and when tony girlfriend and ferris and ( a voluptuous jennifer tilly ) who be a stripper ask the men to wack her step mother ( lainie kazan ) and all chaos break loose . and there be also a sub plot with two police detective ( carrie anne moss and jeremy piven ) who be investigate the murder . this movie will have the senior citizen laugh so hard that their denture will keep fall out . but for those under the age of 50 and will find this film boring and tedious and and slow . the only way this be some what watchable for men be look at the beautiful body of jennifer tilly and which have improve since her bullet over broadway day . a for the woman and i can not think of anything that will appeal to them and so they will probably fall asleep . the acting in this be bad bad bad and richard dreyfus who can be a great actor ( look at mr. holland opus ) be do his routine comic role and similar to krippendorfs tribe . burt reynolds who be also good ( look at boogie night ) be a comic prop use in this film get wacked on the head and have his head dunk in the toilet . dan hedaya keep comment on his art work on his deceased body he fix up at the morgue that he work at . but it seymor cassel who i find to be the most enjoyable of the four . one represent he barely talk at all and so he doesn not have anything stupid to say and unlike dreyfus and reynolds and and hedaya . two represent when he do have something to say and it always more enjoyable than anyone else in the film . carrie anne moss who be full of energy in the matrix be sleep walk in this film . jeremy piven who can be enjoyable be more annoying . and lainie kazan get the award for the most annoying character in the film a the jewish step mother of jennifer tilly character . besides cassel and miguel sandoval have a few bit of good line also ( especially on his description on seymor cassel appearance ) . but do that save the film and hell no . it so silly and brainless that you wonder how a bad director like dinner get a talented cast like this . my guess be that dinner make a bet that save private ryan wouldn not win the best picture oscar . and what be the talented barry sonnenfield do produce this bomb . he always bring out good product and get shorty and men in black and and even wild wild west . from my guess and the only way that the crew be go to make any money this weekend be represent 1 . ) people will get it confused with the cell and since they have the same count of letter . or 2 . ) people will get it confused with another film with four old men get back into action and space cowboy . space cowboy have wit and charm and and even excitement and the crew doesn not have any of that . if you want to see a great film with four old timer get back into action and go see space cowboy . and if you already see space cowboy and go see it again . save yourself from this witless and pointless travesty which call itself a comedy . half ( out of five ) .