here a list of hideously dreadful celluloid boo boo which act a dead giveaway that spell out the painfully obvious fact that this stinkweed picture reek more intensely than a damp ten pound bag full of week old horse manure . let call this depressingly dismal list how not to make a tongue in cheek parody . 1 ) let the no brainer plot vengeful nerdy brainiac menlo schwartzer ( arch geek actor eddie deezen at his most intolerably spastic ) transform the local chowderhead surfer dudes into white face and spiky haired and black leather clad garbage devour punk zombie by make them drink a dangerously noxious soda mindlessly meander all over the place without ever acquire any focus or momentum . 2 ) make sure nothing remotely clever and inspire or interesting be do with the would be spoofy premise and a dumb and lumbering attempt at send up both dippy 60 beach party feature and cheesy 70 drive in horror schlock which suffer from a terminal case of the major league stupid . 3 ) pepper the numbskull dialogue with horribly date hip slang ( i be totally tube ) and rusty eared groan induce profanity ( you guy be so full of st that your eye be all brown ) . 4 ) shamefully waste a stellar cast by saddle them not only with shoddy and sub par material to fight a hopelessly uphill battle with and but also with obnoxious character to annoyingly overplay represent the gorgeous linda kerridge a deezen hot honey girlfriend and lyle waggoner a the blundering killjoy police chief and ruth buzzi and carol wayne a ditsy mom and terry kiser and biff manard a comparably fatuous father and cleavon little a a doltish high school principal and eric stoltz and tom villard a vapid surfer and and the luscious corinne bohrer and the adorable lucinda dooling a airhead valley chick . 5 ) similarly squander a first rate soundtrack load with both top drawer 80 new wave band ( oingo boingo and wall of voodoo and the circle jerk ) and awesome 60 surf rock nugget ( the beach boy and the venture and the chantays and even the great dick dale ) . 6 ) have the gratingly idiotic humor center on such dubiously amuse topic a eat seaweed and transvestitism and jiggling bare breast and two fat blimp ravenously nosh on submarine sandwich cover with seagull poop and frog race in slow motion to the rouse chariot of fire theme and and much and much bad . 7 ) direct the film with no faint residual trace of style and wit and energy or ingenuity whatsoever and and the net result of this flagrant misuse of the camera will be a monumental cinematic stiff of unbearably epic el zilcho proportion .