vampire anonymous start in los angeles where vampire vic weller ( paul popowich ) need help control his addiction to blood so he call vampire anonymous who run a twelve step program for vampire . a program design to make vampire not want to drink human blood and be there if they need help or be have trouble and the first step be apparently to admit you have a problem and end with mile and your a winner . although there lot of hard work and temptation to overcome between . vic get pack of to rock creek and north carolina where he have to blend in with the local and feed on the blood of sheep but vic find it hard to suppress the vampire within himself . co write and co produce and direct by michael keller i have to say right off the bat that i hat vampire anonymous . and of course this be just my opinion and i be in no way say that you will definitely hate it but i think there a fair chance the majority of potential viewer will find much more to hate in vampire anonymous than like . the script by keller and j. p. srinivasan be the big problem here and again this be just my opinion but i think it be terrible . vampire anonymous be suppose to be some sort of light hearted comedy horror romance with a pinch of bite satire about therapy group and psychiatric help throw in there for good ( bad . ) measure . if that basic story outline make you laugh then you may enjoy vampire anonymous but i think it be an awful attempt at try to be clever and funny and different and vampire anonymous be one of the most unfunny comedy i have ever see and the maker can not even pull off a good sheep shag farmer joke . the genre of horror comedy be very hard to pull off and the maker of this fail in spectacular fashion and the horror element be none existent and the romance be so cheesy and predictable i almost throw up and it take me four sitting of twenty odd minute each to get through this because i literally couldn not get through it one go . director keller turn in a competent film and that the only reason this turd get two star out of ten rather than one . it not scary and it definitely not funny and there no tension and it utterly predictable and the story be all over the place and the character be unlikable and the dialogue suck and i find it a real chore to sit through . i do not like it . at all . forget about any gore and there a couple of neck bitings and a bit of blood drinking otherwise nothing . no nudity either . accord to the closing credit vampire anonymous be edit by the interesting name farm dog and either that it be be literally edit by a farm dog . technically the film be fine and be really the only positive aspect of it but since it suck so bad in every other way do it really matter . shot in burlington in north carolina apparently and i doubt this be go to do much for the tourist number though . i have some advice for michael madsen and get a new agent consider some of the crap he be in . i mean from the classy kill bill represent vol . 1 ( 2003 ) to this a his next film . have say that the quote i probably make a few picture i shouldn not have do and but i have four son and i have to pay the rent . if you have a decision to make about whether or not you can buy grocery at the market or whether or not youre go to make a bad movie and youre go to make a bad movie . and my career have be very strange . my career be like a heart monitor . i get involve in a good project now and then to keep thing go . and then i make thing that i work on that i hope be go to be good so i can make a living and keep a roof over the head of those little monster i have in my house . you know and every movie you make can not be great and no matter who you be . even brando make some clinker . from his page on the imdb explain why he make rubbish like vampire anonymous . we all have to pay the rent i suppose . vampire anonymous suck as much a the vampire in the film and i be sorry but i really dislike every aspect of the story and find it so unfunny and moronic it untrue . if your look for bite satire go elsewhere and if your look for some laugh go elsewhere and if your look for some horror go elsewhere and if your look to be entertain go elsewhere .