this film be the rightful butt of every bad movie joke ever tell . one of the bad and weak of all film and it fail in way beyond comprehension . few movie have be any less funny or less emotionally involve for an unfortunate audience . at least with and say and showgirls or wild wild west and you have something so bad it funny . two if by sea do not have so lucky an audience . it the bad kind of bad film and one that doesn not even have the decency to be humorously bad and so profoundly bad you can laugh at it . it be far and far bad . this movie make mortal kombat annihilation look like l. a. confidential . i be certain that watch two if by sea be consider torture in some part of the world .