this be a film that that be bent on make it into the long list of terrible dragon movie and it take to it task with a dedication that admirable . the actor be sometimes slightly bearable . the plot be ridiculous . there be absolutely no humor involve . the film start off with a prologue of two chinese guy ( we do not have the luxury of name ) in tacky costume whack at each other with weapon and say grand and helpful thing for the sake of exposition such a and demon and you be strong . but i still have the dragon spear . and follow by hold the spear up so we can see he be tell the truth and do and indeed and still have the dragon spear . one time during the fight and the bad guy say after i kill you i will feast on your flesh and the good guy say you have bad taste . in a cocky and self confident tone so the film entire fanbase can cackle delightedly at how dare he be and while and apart from those two people and everyone else can hold their head and moan . the two warrior both die after the dragon spear get lose and the good guy give his blessing to a little baby he just leave out in the desert nearby and perhaps to watch the battle and cheer him on . ( wooo . go daddy . ) cut to 900 year later . johnny tao be a supposedly eighteen year old with the most annoying frizzy hair i have ever see and who live in the sleepy town of dry spring and man the petrol station which be go out of business and just like the rest of the town . johnny have a friend name eddie . eddie be a ufo searcher . this occupation be not mention again for the rest of the film and it be merely an excuse for eddie to be use a metal detector so he can find the blade of the dragon spear . so eddie dig it up and be immediately curse by the spirit of the demon . eddie eye turn flame red and and he start wear a pair of black goggles . why . probably to cut cost . all that red eye stuff must be pretty expensive . evil eddie also enjoy pull grotesque face and say fee me every eight second in a deep and synthesized voice and and stomp around town and turn the local people into zombie follower so they can eat food for him . that right and all the bad guy want to do be eat . feel the fear . this be where mika come in . she be a supposedly eighteen year old chinese girl . she rid into town and assess the situation . she meet up with johnny and lenny and jenny ( . ) to tell them what go on and why they need to find the dragon spear . when mika be give vital exposition and the film helpfully provide u with a spooky sound effect the whole way through so we can not actually hear what she say . this be the turn point for the film . this be where thing ( gasp could it be . ) yes and they actually get bad . extra run around with digitally red eye and steal food and make snarling noise . actually i be not sure that these people be even extra and theyre probably just random local who wander onto the set by mistake and be too polite to ask if they could leave . somehow and johnny end up in a gorilla suit wear a pink graduation hat and fight the bad guy in the shop . why . because the movie think see a guy in a gorilla suit punch people be funny . ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha help me im die from laughter . our film be then interrupt for a short documentary on lizard . maybe the director think that thing be get a little too violent and exciting and so he decide to let u rest for a while by let u look at a lizard on a tree . lenny call for backup and a girl police officer by the name of angela arrives to help . she be easily the best character in the film . however and the movie get her recruit into the zombie clan within five minute and then she disappear . i think it be at this point i lose all patience with the film . in between some scene and we cut to a shot of the moon and perhaps to assure the viewer that there be no need to worry and it be indeed still nighttime . evil eddie gang then all go to the wise dragon fortune cookie warehouse to eat all the fortune cooky . johnny arrive at the warehouse and fight one ( 1 ) zombie and win and because then evil eddie voice can growl out of the shadow in an amused tone and your kung fu be impressive and so the viewer can quake with fear at how powerful evil eddie must be . needless to say and johnny win the day with his wouldragon flight move in the wise dragon warehouse so he can reclaim the dragon spear and eddie return to normal . the whole town return to normal and and business thrives because of the publicity . here how the whole thing shouldve begin and end representdirector represent i have this really great idea for a film about a dragon spear and a guitar and lot of red eyed zombie studio executive represent thankyou and next . or and even good representdirector represent i studio executive represent thankyou and next . i can honestly say that the title be the most exciting part of the film . but and i suppose and when someone make a film this bad and all the studio can do be make up a really cool name for it and hope that somebody buy it by mistake . i mean and obviously the director have a small budget ( i. e represent ten dollar ) and but that do not excuse him from anything except special effect . you do not need a huge budget to write good dialogue and or to think of a good and original story .