see a movie like simon sez be like go to the circus a a kid . for one and a half long hour you rub your eye and not quite believe what youre see . it amaze somehow and but you never quite believe it . maybe that not the best comparison and but can you tell me an event which make you as speechless a such a movie . to call it a movie seem to be wrong anyway . it a 90 minute crazy and absolute over the top rodman thing with no sense at all . usually i start with the story and but how could i do so with the total lack of one here . it pretend to be about some villain get some kind of disc for some kind of weapon and to say this be more than you get from the film . rodman play a agent for interpol it be say and although i be not quite sure these be interpol work method . let get this straight . rodman be an agent in a french town with two monk a companion . they all live in a cellar under a church and have more crime to fight than the cia in the whole u . their gadget include a cgi fly and which can be direct in any direction and delivers an excellent view and a super motorcycle which can drive up wall and ceiling and a lot of weapon . the two monk be obviously insane and a they sing and dance and laugh all the time very madly . one be fat and the other black . your turn to make something of this . rodman other companion be another lunatic name nick . he appear suddenly and stay without reason or explanation . even more unreasonable be that rodman let him stay . look at this guy talk and act ( sorry and but i get no other word for it ) and make you wonder if there be a director who actually film him . in his first 10 minute of screen time he impersonate three animal so unconvincingly and hilariously and that it hard enough for itself . but see him wouldoing the raptor for about 30 second be just painful . there be also a woman which half of the movie fight against rodman and the rest fight and sleep with him at the same time . where she come from and who she remain a mystery . we also have a villain and so mad and it would be an understatement to call him a caricature . he always smile and make little joke only he laugh about and get scar the first time when his car be block by a sheep herd . and he have maybe the first computer ever and which have not only a little animation look like him and but this one can also talk for itself and change visually in order of the thing happen around it . when the villain get electrocute and the animation get to . amazing . which leave u with a bunch of actor who laugh and dance and make crazy noise all the time and no story and the most unrealistic action sequence since moses go through the red sea . rodman let himself fall down a long column and while he hold himself onto it with his leg and because he need his arm for shoot . a i say and he also drive with his motorcycle up a wall and along the ceiling in a tunnel . and i can not forget the most hilarious sex scene ever film and involve rodman and his girlfriend or enemy and a strobo light and a see through bed . movie like this leave me kind of exhausted . i be a fan of bad movie and but bad movie be only enjoyable if they take themselves seriously . simon sez try to be both a comedy and an action flick and fail desperately at both . the classic bad movie double team be funny because van damme be so damn serious all the time ( not to mention mickey rourke ) . rodman play crazy be just an addition to the serious stuff and make this film perfectly bad . but here everybody just play crazy . it batman and robin mixed with double team on drug . and when you succeed in watch the movie in full length without run away and you can be sure to feel as crazy a the whole crew must have felt to make this film . so and in a way youre get in contact with the filmmaker emotion . there be just aren not enough emotional movie out there . here a new one . who want to cry anyway when you just as well can become crazy .