uma thurman have the unenviable distinction of appear in the 90 two big can not be that bad and surely . film . like batman and robin and the avenger and through sheer will of it poor critical reception and compel one to see it . an unseen force taunt the innocent rental video store customer with a come on and you know you want to and youre die to know if it as bad a they say . of course and the avenger and like batman and robin and be every inch as bad a they say . 86 minute ( the anaemic plot can not even stretch to an hour and a half ) of sheer and unerring tedium that beggar belief . thurman be the most obvious target . her english accent be about 90 % successful to my ear and ( she certainly no keanu or dick van dyke in the fake brit stake ) and but this notably draw on her acting . but the main flaw be her innate lack of irony . she just doesn not appear to comprehend such an old style of wit ( not that such a misinterpretation be hard and a limply present a it be here ) and and whereas in the delightful pulp fiction she amuse with her tale of tony rocky horror and be the humour element of fox force five and a mrs. peel she a washout . many people cite the film failure a a direct comparison to the television series . whereas i understand enough of the show to know the real mrs. peel be too much of a lady to kick eddie izzard where it hurt and i have never really be acquaint with the 60 exploit of patrick macnee and co for it to really matter . to this end and i believe this give me a fresh advantage in view the movie . i come to the avenger without have to compare fiennes charm to that of patrick and or compare thurman curve to the incomparable cheekbone of diana rigg . it matter not . as good a the tv show and good and bad and the end result be the same represent the movie stink . never on celluloid have there be such a resounding lack of chemistry between two lead . even thurman script interruption and witty rejoinder come too late and with fiennes and sparkle in strange day and excruciatingly self conscious in steed shoe . wilfully eccentric and forcefully quaint and their mannerism be more poseur than debonair . these be two people that wouldn not even pass the time of day in real life and much less conduct a sexual relationship with chaste close lip . half the time it almost impossible to believe they be in the same room during their scene together and so weak be their connection . a slight upturn in the film be sean connery and who must have owe his agent a favour to have accept this appallingly script farrago . a with his james bond ( to which the bassey soundalike grace jones end song owe a tip of the hat ) and connery have an air of physical menace . and and a with the quote of this review and give half a chance sean can make even the most innocent of line sound dirty . he be actually talk about rain . most of the time and though and he spout about want a ransom in exchange for decent weather in england ( like english people be so used to decent weather rain and snow would bother them have the writer ever set foot in this country . ) and try to drug rape mrs. peel in a distasteful scene . the rest of his line be as inept a john steed . what a horse ae of a name and yet he manage to hold some modicum of dignity dress a a giant teddy bear . in all honesty i can see no way and no level on which this film work . direction in term of shot and angle be reasonable and but in term of actor it lousy . the script be trite and thin . i really can not bring myself to describe the storyline a a collection of set piece and a the term set piece generally imply something good . whereas even the execrable batman and robin have some good bit thread together and none of the painfully set up segment that make up this inanity carry any form of tension and drama or wit . believe me and this film truly be as bad a they say . i saw this film so you do not have to . thank me for it and hate me for it and reward me for it . just do me a favour and do not bother to see it .