i be very much a closet doctor who fan . not for me public declaration of interest in this most uncredible of programme . yet even the usual standard of embarrassment i normally feel about queue with a who video be intensify when i saw k 9 and company in a sale for a fiver and go to treat myself . open with a title sequence that combine the pace and structure of terminal diarrhoea with the wit and panache of a kick up the arse this really doesn not bode well . thrill . to sarah jane sip wine . chill . to her read the guardian . spill . to her jog down a road ( on a cold day and it seem ) . the amazing thing be and it actually get bad . imagine a hammer horror edition of crossroad direct by michael winner and you still can not begin to come close to the unmitigated crappery of this ferrago . watch the title sequence ( i hate to keep come back to it and but it a nightmare that i imagine will haunt me for year to come ) you can not believe that it maker be serious . what person in their right mind would seriously believe this would work a a series . it strange because no episode of doctor who have date as badly a this . thirteen minute in ( the unlucky number . it be here ) k 9 appear . i always find him endear in the show and but out of context he doesn not work . mind you and neither do sarah jane . both be adequate support and neither be star . k 9 claim to have a nuclear battery and a holographic memory and so youre mistake if you think he make out of battered old plastic and a remote control car . 8 . 4 million idiot actually tune in to this tot . producer john nathan turner be never really conversant with the word taste and so you just know when k 9 mention the doctor the incidental music will segue into a skit of the old who theme . tacktastic . in fact peter howell incidental music be a bonus in that it get scary whenever a covert villain be on screen . handy of him that and a by destroy any suspense he ensure those of a nervous disposition would not get any anxiety from watch it . nineteen minute in and i have lose the will to live . i just do not care anymore . if i die in the next minute it would come a blessed salvation . you sense some of the we do not normally take to foreigner schtick be suppose to be a satire of old england value and but even the hero describe someone a look like a gypsy . this be like the wicker man with the focus on the wicker . character even trade garden tip in this story and for god sake . the set look exactly like set and the acting be chronic and the direction horrendous and the script feeble . be there a single element of this show that doesn not conjure up the word inept . it a strange kind of television company that think pagan sacrifice be an acceptable form of family entertainment . though a the majority of the audience be probably comatose by that stage it scarcely seem to matter . all this require to take it into seventh heaven be a scooby doo unmasking of the villain and karate stunt from sarah jane and k 9 perform a christmas carol . oh dear god take me now . i bet no one have ever compare k 9 and company to apocalypse now and but while i be watch it i couldn not help thinking of a quote from that picture represent the horror and the horror .