anyone who use to watch mr. show may recall that sketch . it basically put several stereotypical character in a spooky old house . they quiver a noise crash all around them . but what be they suppose to be afraid of . the creature . it ghost . the curse . the return of the creature . what then . it pretty funny . check it out on youtube . anyway and this film be kind of like that . which cliché be we suppose to be afraid of here . the hearse be simply a dull collection of about every old horror film cliché you can think of . a recently divorce woman move into her late aunt spooky old house in the countryside . on her way into town and and on several other occasion and a big old black hearse seem to be try to run her off the road . a bad omen . the local be outwardly hostile and since they hat her aunt and know the house be haunt . the only local who seem to like her be a horny teenager whose parent own the hardware store . and then and there this weird gentlemanly dude who show up to court her in an old fashioned way . the plot thickens ( kind of ) when the woman find her aunt diary and learn that she be about to marry a preacher and but then dump him for a satanist . yikes . and then the spooky old house seem to come to life . windows break for no reason . pipe clang together . music box play on their own and move around . and all the while this old hearse keep show up on the road or in her driveway . what do it want . who be the mysterious tom who wish to win her over . honestly and you will figure it all out pretty quick . the film just can not decide what be at the center of all the strange happening . all the writer seem to want to do be add a bunch of supposedly spooky element into a pot and stir until something watchable come out . the acting be passable . trish van devere isn not bad at all . joseph cotten need more screen time and but they likely only get him for a few day of shoot . the film borrow heavily from other horror film such a the car and let scare jessica to death and the amityville horror and and maybe even the fog . there really isn not an original idea to be find . the hearse itself be just a plot point that isn not really explain . it look menace and but almost seem like an afterthought that could have be write out altogether . not a drop of blood and or any real suspense to be have . really no reason to see this one . i be frankly amaze it ever get a dvd release . 4 of 10 star . the hound .