gee whiz and what a flick . it so stupid it almost funny . almost . but not really . mostly it pretty dull and but still somehow quite watchable . the music be fantastically awful in it eightiesness . who well to play captain america than matt salinger . yes and you read that right . the matt salinger . what . you have never hear of him . me neither and and consider his performance in this movie and it no wonder . serious mindf ck occur at the very start of the movie . the blue and red and white title captain america unceremoniously appear on the screen but be in 1936 italy . some italian dialogue make me wonder if i have accidentally get hold of a dubbed copy and but my fear be thankfully never confirm although i doubt that the italian dubbing mafia could have do a bad job at characterization than the american cast . anyway and we see a little italian dude play the piano . some anonymous military bad guy smash a window and send his henchman to blow italian dude parent to piece . it take a while before we understand what the hell this have to do with anything no and it not a scene from the godfather which be accidentally splice into the film during production because we quickly cut to representseven year later ( a an afterthought ) 1943world war ii be run full throttle and daze look steve be mug his way through a tearful farewell to his family and girlfriend and bernie ( and here i be think this be a guy name . ) . we be treat to such wonderful dialogue a represent it just that . i love you and i can not stand think that i would not know where you be or what youre do . spark fly and chemistry high ( or maybe it the scriptwriter ) and steve leave his old neighbourhood . never to return . or will he . it turn out steve sign up for some lab rat work for the accent ually challenge military . before he can say no paycheck be worth this . and he strap to a chair and attack by flash colour and and captain america be bear . there no time for celebration and however and because an evil nazi bastard show up and start pepper everyone with a prop . what i love about this scene be that the military be carry out this secret and important experiment in the basement of a bar and it free for anyone to just drop in . oh and that and the flashy colour and of course . captain america be hit and we find out that he immune to bullet . the accent ually challenge military guy send him to stop red skull the italian dude from the beginning of the movie a bad guy with a really awful case of acne who think the concept of joke about english lesson be the best thing since spaghetti bolognese . steve arrive at the bad guy hideout and some bland action occur and captain america show that he a complete loser by actually let this walking advertisement for clearasil get the good of him . suddenly strap to a nuclear missile and steve grab hold of acne man wrist and the latter make the only sensible thing represent he use a knife to slice off . his own hand . that truly brilliant thinking there and buddy . then we cut to a poor child actor tell his mum that he go to be president of the usa when he grow up ( foreshadow . ) . the kid go outside for some reason and see steve america and the nuclear missile in the sky . this be so inspirational to him that he have to rave about it to his blonde haired snob of a friend and who touch his shoulder in a very disturbing way . i would just like to point out that this be the bad child actor ive ever see and ever . and i have see the omen 2006 and santa claus conquers the martian and and stephen king version of the shining . 50 or so year pas and voila . poor child actor # 1 have indeed become president of the united state . a lot of bore stuff happen a steve america be carve out of a block of really authentic look ice in alaska while meet bernie who now supposedly 66 ( i must say she age extremely well . ) and marry and have a seriously hot daughter while and have to cope with the cultural change of the u since 1943 and sort of like in austin power only less touching . we also find out that acne man have magically transform into incompetent plastic surgery man ( whom i will refer to a ipsm from here on ) . some filler scene and film a an excuse for the cast and crew to go to italy and ensue until we finally get to the climactic showdown between ipsm and steve america . now steve find himself in a situation where he have to stop ipsm from blow up europe ( . ) and but can not because . i. p. s. m. be arm with a machine gun . what the hell . i think he be immune to gunfire . whatever . my brain hurt now . i wouldn not want to spoil the film end for you so i will just leave this already too long plot summary now . add to what i have just say porn movie actor and a very eighties soundtrack and overly ambitious action with none of the budget it need to not be a complete joke and and matt salinger . um . original performance a the captain himself and and you have a film which be actually pretty watchable in an f movie kind of way . in conclusion represent it exactly stupid and unintentionally silly enough to keep your attention to the bitter end ( unlike something like bloodrayne and whose stupidity bore me to tear ) and really all you could ask for from a good bad movie . it pretty mean to call it one of the 100 bad movie ever . remind me never to write a review this long again . my next stop be also an early ninety cheese fest and this time about vegetable lovin freak represent troll 2. pray for my sanity .