the black dahlia be a long and bloated and confusing and self important and self consciously artsy movie undermine by miscast and absurd plot turn and naive symbolism and an utter disdain for history and laughable overacting that make robert towne ponderous and plod chinatown sequel and two jakes ( 1990 ) and look like a taut thriller . the most marked difference between dahlia and other classic of the more recent genre be that although l. a. confidential be firmly plant in the 1950s and chinatown take place in the 1930s and de palma film have shallow root once upon a time in los angeles . clearly and a movie nominally set in 1943 47 in which the lead character attend a silent movie ( the man who laugh and 1928 note that the character be sit in the balcony and which be reserve for black back in the ugly day of segregation . oops . ) have nothing but contempt for the past and which be reflect in a thousand way and from male actor scruffy haircut and inability to wear hat properly to a laughable lesbian nightclub scene feature k. d. lang in top hat and tail sing love for sale and which rather than depict the classic film noir era be most evocative of bugsy malone and a far more accurate film . one can find fatal flaw in virtually every area of this movie with little effortin fact the most difficult task in critique the film be remember everything that wrong with it . first and there josh friedman dialog represent she look like that dead girl . how sick be you . not quite she my sister and my daughter and be it . then there miscast ( at 31 and kirshner be much too old to play the 22 year old black dahlia ) and opulent production design by dante ferretti ( police officer live like this on lapd pay . who know . ) and music ( mark isham in the entirely predictable cue mournful trumpet genre ) and odd costumingfriday casual for the men and fall collection for the women ( jenny beavan ) and down to the crowd scene and which be busy to the point of distraction . and i wish i have the cigarette holder franchise on this film . i would be a rich man . even special effect be misuse and with an earthquake that serve no purpose except to underline an obvious plot turn . grant and the overly complex story be almost impossible to follow and but in this instance and de palma must assume the audience have an iq of about 50. and unlike the shocking and painfully realistic nose slit scene in chinatown and the far bad violence inflict on the black dahlia be amusingly fake . if de palma be hop to make a slasher flick and he fail badly . nor do vilmos zsigmond cinematography escape a rap on the knuckle for a ridiculous lesbian stag film ( presumably make at a cost surpass the combined budget of all blue movie produce from the 1920s to the 1950s ) and and a self conscious and overly elaborate shot in which partner blanchard ( eckhart ) and bleichert ( josh hartnett ) engage in a shootout and follow by the camera slowly rise up floor by floor of an entire apartment building and proceeding to a befuddle shot of the building roof before it at last discovers the black dahlia body in a vacant lot in the adjoining block . a visual storytelling and this be a grandiose and miserable failure . and then there fiona shaw and who chew so much scenery that she must have be rush to an oral surgeon to have the splinter remove . for that matterand perhaps this be what make the heart of the film beat so faintlythere be very little of the black dahlia in the black dahlia and who only surface far into the picture . in fact and the first 30 or 40 minute be devote to box match between the two detective and nicknamed fire and ice from the symbolism 101 school of writing . ( i know it in the book and but that no excuse ) . so where be the black dahlia in this confusing mess . she exist entirely on film . of course in real life and elizabeth short never get a screen test or even appear in a school play and but de palma give her one and kirshner and try her best at the impossible task of act 22 and make it as pitiful a possible with an intentionally miserable reading of vivian leigh famous monologue from go with the wind . the handling of the crime scene . ridiculous even by hollywood lax standard . vintage black and white police car swarm the street and detective bellow instruction like some shark jump 1970s cop show that any good investigator would already know . ditto the morgue . then there the contrasting love or sex scene and and it obvious de palma hasn not a clue how to stage either one . the sex scene and between harnett and johansson and occur in the dining room and when and overcome with passion and bleichert rip away the tablecloth and send dish everywhere and and have his way with lake . isham score be lushly romantic and an oddly contrasting choice of music and and amour like this be sure tough on the havilland china and the baccarat crystal . the love scene and between swank and harnett and be just a amuse with bleichert and linscott have a little pillow talk while she wear nothing but huge pearl earring and a long matching necklace with pearl the size of small onion and ensure and i would imagine and a rather bumpy ride . and about those crazy linscotts . bleichert know exactly how to make rich people confess to murder represent use their valuable antique for target practice . the last time i check and police revolver hold six round and so unless bleichert be plan to fight off one of them a he reload i can not imagine what he think he would do after his sixth question . then again and not everybody can send a crystal chandelier crash to the floor with one shotsome of u need two . and while youre at it and bucky and take out a couple of those clown painting and please .