every once in a while a very bad film come along and renew my faith in the sport of watch terrible schlock and have a wonderful time of it . simon sez be such a movie while a film film and act and direct and and write with such ineptitude and you would swear that it be make by a bunch of dumb monkey . it like the dan quayle of movie . dennis rodman star a an ex cia and ex secret agent and ex everything it seem and who become embroil in a convoluted kidnapping or extortion or hijacking or computer heist . give these villain credit where they be due while they do know how to multi task . i do not really have anything against dennis rodman and but the man simply can not act . he wear one expression the entire time and bemused detachment . it the same whether he fight off an army of thug and deal with his army of sidekick and or rid his spiffy yellow motorcycle . every single thing that he encounter cause him to smirk . i be wait for someone to shoot him in the foot and have him smirk . sadly that moment never come . i mention his army of sidekick while and there really be a ridiculous number of them and and they all be complete idiot . first there be the two monk and micro and macro and who help dennis in his quest for whatever it be he look for . these guy live in a church and dress like monk and have the monk hair and but have a high tech lair fill with sophisticated equipment and post it note ( i call it the rodcave ) . i think something about them be fishy while be they real monk or not . then later i be inform that monk take a vow of silence and and these gent certainly do not uphold that vow . and do i mention one of them be really fat . and he do kung fu . no and really and he be . and he do . i do not say he do it well though . then there be the generic look whiteboy sidekick and who be a stand up comedian i have see on a few talk show ( and who have not impress me ) . he some sort of ex agent and who know from where and and he the most incompetent idiot this side of and well and those two monk . he do both a raptor impression and a dog impression and and fight like his life depend on his gruesome death . there plenty more to mention here and like simon ex girlfriend who alternate fight and strip with him while the car that tilt on two wheel and but doesn not fall over while the laughable wire stunt while the bizarre tendency for almost every character to have a nondescript accent while and my personal favorite and the pole slide scene . trust me and when you see it you will know . i haven not enjoy a bad movie this much in a long time . thanks to plenty of poorly make mindless violence the film rarely drag despite it stupidity . the laughable dialogue also help this clunker speed along towards it action pack finale . for fan of the bizarre and big rebounding nba forward turn film star .