one of the strange man make law of film collecting be that extremely rare and impossible to locate movie immediately become cult classic . no one seem to realise that the reason that most of these flick have vanish in the first place be because they be so jaw smashingly rubbish that they do not shift first time around . it would take a pretty stupid filmmaker to recall and stop produce any feature that be fly of the shelf and wouldn not it . title like hauntedween and night ripper and don not go in the wood ( especially don not go in the wood ) be without a doubt a total waste of celluloid . but they still sell on ebay for price that range from $ 50 to as much a a staggering $ 120 a pop and just because they have become as rare a a teddy boy quiff . judging by the post and want list that i have notice scatter around on website and splatter farm be among that number of miss obscurity that have inexplicably gain an undeserved following . i already own a copy of this pretty diabolical feature and can tell you right now that it certainly wont be get a decent dvd release . here be the reason why the story concern two nameless and identically goofy look brother who head out to the stick for a vacation at their auntie seclude farm . mrs. lacy be an old coot who keep tell herself that she incredibly lonely since her old man be the victim of an unfortunate accident ( an axe to the head . ) . her only company on the green grass of home be jeremy and the handyman who live in a barn . unbeknownst to pinkie and perky ( the two numbskull sibling ) and jeremy be a rave cannibalistic maniac with a taste for necrophilia too . in the first scene alone he show dismember a patently unrealistic corpse and which look to be make from paper mache . before long the two nerd be strand on the farm and have to fight off their auntie sexual advance and jeremy murderous habit how on earth this have become a cult classic be a mystery that just beyond my wild imagination . ollie kendall houseboat horror achieve a similar kind of feat when that too take a one way vacation into obscurity . but kendall admittedly poor splatter cheese fest look comparable to oliver stone jfk when level up against this dire mess . splatter farm isn not just stark ragingly bad while it a humiliate for the buyer a it must have be for the people that be involve with the production . now i know it nothing to boast about and but a you can see from my review list i can safely say that i know more than most about slasher movie . i have see them all and from the good ( the prowler or intruder ) to the bad ( last slumber party or new york centre fold massacre ) . well p. alan addition to the cycle be neither good nor bad it just ugly and and it doesn not even manage to get the basic right . the first thing that you should know be that this be not even shoot on a reasonable format . it just your average everyday camcorder recording and which make sov flick look like maxivision 48 cinema print in comparison . the sound be no less than pathetic while and because this be shoot only on a camcorder and the casio keyboard type score can not be play at the same time a the dialogue . there no boom mike available and so the tinny microphone pick up everything other than what you want it to properly and ray charles must have edit the whole thing whilst count sheep . yes there be gallon and gallon of gore and scene that could get the movie ban even in amsterdam and but it so damn fake and poorly handle that it make violent sht look like tom savini fine hour in comparison . i would not mention the performance because basically there aren not enough slanderous word in the dictionary to do them justice . besides and apparently you can not write swear word on the imdb and which would leave me unable to give you a full description of the block like cast member . i want to say that i be not try to slander p. alan attempt to make his first movie . i think it great that anyone with a camcorder can grab a few mate and try to do something creative with their spare time . all i be try to do be stop the numerous fan pay rip off price for a film that just would not deliver what you expect it to . it certainly a twisted beast with hilarious necrophilia sex scene that you would not see anywhere else . but like i say and chance be you could pick up a camcorder and make a movie of similar quality with just a couple of your mate and a gallon of corn syrup . i really do not enjoy splatter farm and i reckon that the only fun to be have be hunt down a copy in the first place . if you do manage to find a version available somewhere and then do not spend too much of your hard earn cash and because i be tell you it just not worth it . if youre look for gratuitous gore and shock tactic then try and find an uncut copy of giallo a venice or the grim reaper instead .