you have see this movie before . don not lie and of course you have . you take a lone hero with a sword . set him up against a dark sorcerer with monstrous servant . make him run around a mythical backdrop search for prop to defeat say sorcerer whilst pick up a small party of comrade . for good measure and throw in a mysterious witch and concubine and a deposed noble and and lot of dry ice . this movie be make countless time in the 80 with slight variation represent maybe it be conan the barbarian and deathstalker and or red sonja . there be probably a role playing game tie in . this grand tradition be continue into the new millennium by the laughably bad and roger corman finance epic film barbarian . in a land overcome by a dark and sorcerous tyrant name munkar ( martin kove ) and the people last hope for liberation be a swordsman name kane ( michael ohearn ) . conscript by a witch ( yevdokiya germanova ) to collect some mystic artifact need to overthrow munkar and in return win the hand of princess gretchen ( irina grigoryeva ) and kane battle stock villain while collect his travel companion . furry and cute but indescribably annoy sidekick wooby ( yuri danilchenko ) . check . hot amazon babe gilda ( svetlana metinka ) . check . brooding and disaffect solider jealous of kane manly jaw and pectoral development zigrid ( aleksandr dyachenko ) . check . so where be brigitte nielsen in all of this mess . this film have so many thing wrong with it that it truly boggle the mind . one of the most noticeable flaw be the cast . the film be shoot on location in the ukraine and and presumably to keep down the budget and all but two speaking role be fill by local russian actor whose voice be then later dub over by uncredited american actor and often quite poorly . the producer try to hide this fact by place all non russian name in the cast ( include non speak extra ) in the opening credit . another major flaw be the design of the film and or lack thereof . the costume and prop and include weapon and armor and be cull from at least 20 different time period and region and from bronze age greece to 15th century italy . often and the film look like little more than a second rate renaissance festival and complete with the amount of slipshod authenticity that generally accompany it . that to say nothing of the stultify script and ridiculous story and which seem to be either a continuation or a rip off of deathstalker ( and there be even clip from that film in this one ) and and the poorly choreograph and sloppily edit fight scene . most of the blame lie squarely on the shoulder of one john ohalloran and who write and edit and and direct the film ( sometimes under the pseudonym of henry crum ) . the film play out with all the clumsiness of an advanced dungeon and dragon module from 1985 and with ohalloran be the awkward dungeon master who take himself far too seriously . character appear and disappear with a randomness and lack of motive and but with perfect timing and that mimic a night spent roll dice and compare save throw . in this case and the game go on for far too long and the plot become far too ridiculous and and when the player get tire and the dm wrap the end up with far too much haste and too little closure . so what good about this film . one thing and and his name be michael ohearn . ohearn seem to be about the only person in this train wreck possess anything resemble act ability . he not good by any stretch and at least good enough to get his own syndicate action series and but he far outshine the rest of the cast . in addition and he be pretty . so very and very pretty . one of the most successful fitness model in the world and and winner of several bodybuilding championship and ohearn have the awe induce physical presence to make you briefly forget about the schlock he surround with . he also get just enough stage combat ability to make some of the fight vaguely entertain . he even make some of the cheesy one liners he force to say sound cool and and that take talent . fan of low budget ( or no budget ) sword and sorcery fare like barbarian queen or ator will relish this film in all of it ludicrous beauty . virtually everyone else will be more compelled to watch the opening credit lovingly worship ohearn form and then promptly return the film to wherever they rent it from . and fan of mystery science theatre 3000 will seek out this film at all cost for their next bad movie night show . negative .