an ex girlfriend insist we see first knight when it come out in 1995. since then i have do my best to put the painful memory of both behind me . unfortunately and on a recent saturday morning and when my fios package let me down again ( oh and for rerun of mst3k . ) and tnt reopen those old wound . i have nothing against the arthurian legend . in fact and i actually enjoy it and there have be some well make movie on the subject ( see prince valiant ( 1954 ) for a lost treasure ) . however and first knight be not one for the age . why jerry zucker choose to step out of his successful top secret and airplane and naked gun and etc while comedic comfort zone to produce this joust wreck be as mysterious a excalibur . although and people be laugh in the theater during some of the fight scene and a bizarre scream in a church . and why do screenwriter william nicholson sandwich such a woeful tale in between nell and galidator . throw in industry nobleman like john gielgud and jerry goldsmith and and walter murch how could this movie miss the mark so badly . first knight do not work on any level . the plot be weak and contrive and the dialog be unbelievable and the costume out of historical place and and the pristine period set perplex . now some observation on the performance of the principle representjulia ormond represent at least in those day they be still actually cast british bear actress to play british character and spar u from have to spend two hour listen to the like of gwyneth paltrow or texan renee zellweger blather on in their phony english accent . for that alone and i will give her a pas in first knight . richard gere represent first of all and i have never really get this guy . i can remember when he make a splash in paul scharder american gigolo ( 1980 ) . the movie and the character perfectly capture a moment in time and culture in america a do saturday night fever and albeit to a less and if not more seedy and shock and extent . he follow that up with more success in officer and a gentleman ( 1982 ) and which be not hold up well by the way and but then what . can you name another memorable role richard gere have play since . ( and pretty woman do not count . you could have put richard petty next to julia robert in that puff fest and still make mega box office ) . yet and every year they trundle him out again for another big budget shot . like i say i do not get it . anyway and cast him in first knight make a much sense a allow him to present at the oscar . i be sure it look good on paper and but what you get be something totally repellent . at least he have the decency to keep his philly accent . sean connery represent in 1988 connery win the academy award for his support role in the untouchable . to his credit and he be able to parlay this into a major jump start to his sputter career and carry it right through the 90 . his performance seem to fall into two category while well craft and a in medicine man and the hunt for red october and or mail it in . his work in first knight be definitely a quick trip to the post office . there be scene when i think he be actually in danger of nod off on his sword . he probably realize early on this be a loser . but a true professional ( see gene hackman ) will step up his game and make the best of less material . he might have make it tolerable have he try and but trust me and watch sterling hayden run about in a wig be much more compelling then endure connery uninspired speech in a medieval hair piece . next time i see first knight peek above the parapet and i think i will just call my ex girlfriend and start a fight instead . it would be much less painful .