it be often the case when review that it be more enjoyable to write about bad art . in the case of brett leonard feed i must thank my brother for recommend me a motion picture of such superlative defy badness that i be instantly compel to express my apparent distaste with anyone prepare to take the time to read it . the israeli military continue to demolish lebanon with gay abandon whilst hezbollah return fire with it rocket while shia and sunni be at each others throats whilst baghdad and basra et al crumble in the midst of unacknowledged civil war while thousand die every day from aid and hunger and poverty and disease and neglect . the truth be you know all this already and and although i feel a slight guilt that i do not surrender my free time to the discussion of more press matter such a those aforementioned and i still can not allow myself to let the memory of feed pas without discussion . it just mean too much . feed manage to rip off every serial killer film make in the last 15 year and do so with what i hope to god be an ironic awareness of it own ineptitude . useless flash cut and filter and choppy editing and nausea induce camera work prove only to aid the revelation that leonard can not direct . the man who bring u that untouchable sci fi milestone the lawnmower man ( arf . ) be so clearly unaware of how to generate tension that the film descend into farce from the opening frame . a perverse killer ( alex o loughlin ) be feed up woman to elephantine proportion whilst he create a secretive website where gambler can place bet on their imminent death . to counter the death of his late soon to be victim and a cybercrime cop ( patrick thompson ) be determine to track him down while journey from australia to the u and so determined be he to do so . oh and he also happen to have a really hot nympho girlfriend who get naked in the shower in a few soft focus flashback scene design and ( i presume ) for the red blood male viewer to give his eye a rest from woman so fat it look like theyre go to burst through the telly . such plot contrivance be irrelevant however and because feed make little sense . i visualize screenwriter keiran galvin look of twisted glee whilst bark order to his bored ghost writer to add scene of a crazed german man be willingly feed his own bleeding member ( i vant to be eat . and scream say crazed german in a standout scene ) . if there be one thing to be say in it favour it be and intentionally or not ( i be doubtful ) and one of the funny film you will find staring at you from the dvd shelf of your local blockbuster . it plan 9 funny at time . the scene where cop awake to find crim ( i refuse to register the plank in this film a actual character ) have inject him with a syringe of fat and only for him to burst it open like a huge zit have me reel . crim force feed tubby mctubbster the fat of the other girl he kill be another zinger ( it a bit salty baby and she say to him lovingly ) . also and the cheesy eloquence of crim speech about the importance of inner beauty make me smile . perhaps most important though be the inevitable twist end and which for the sake of formality i will fail to spoil for you but needless to say and probably have our beloved screenwriter sport wood from self adulation . glad i get this off my chest . now that i have completely slat it for all it worth and go rent it . my opinion would not change a damned thing .