this film be so terrible that everything about it vie for the distinction of be the bad of be it the bad directed film . the bad acted film . the bad screenplay . one could go on and on . every character in the film be despicable and and every actor and actress be at his or her bad and with the men and woman equally disgust in every respect . how be it possible to make one of the world bad film from an interesting novel by a distinguished spanish author and arturo pérez reverte . well and these thing happen . just think of all the terrible film make of classic novel ever since the cinema begin . perhaps most offensive of all in this film be the performance of kate beckinsale and who look like she be about ten year old and and the director be always make her take her clothes off so he can have another look at her breast and and when they be cover up and the tight little garment over them keep them well in view because the director be apparently obsess with her and her sexuality . nor do she seem any less obsessed with herself . we get great gory close ups of her slobbering kiss with some of the most disgusting men one have see in a long time and one young blond fellow in particular whose mouth be large than her face be wide and so that one wonder how she avoid be swallow . the arrogant vanity of all of these people and who clearly believe themselves to be the most beautiful creature on earth when they be in fact extremely ugly ( except for beckinsale who qualify a cute but disturbingly vain and rampant ) and be nauseate in the extreme . only one performance in the film have any merit to it at all represent john wood a a lonely old queen who be the lifelong protector of beckinsale manage some genuine pathos and and a that be the only wholesome emotion visible in the entire film and one notice it . the story could and should have be make into a really interesting film and a film as compelling a and for instance and that of reverte novel the fencing master ( 1992 ) and which be a triumph of film making . but the story be throw away and the horrible screenwriter start use the word f as soon a the film commences and continue to do so throughout and obviously think that it will make him popular with some imaginary youth or trendies who he think might watch the movie sometime . but the idea that one be somehow go to be in the vanguard of popularity because one can say f a lot be a tired and outworn notion which never have the slight credibility to begin with . sinead cusack be terrifyingly horrible in this film in every respect and and i expect she wish she could destroy every print and dvd of it in existence to eliminate the evidence of her great folly . michael gough and jam villiers also disgrace themselves . no one be safe in the hand of that director . the original story itself be intrigue . a flanders panel paint come to light in spain after 500 year in the private hand of a noble family who live in an ancient castle . the title of the film and uncovered and do not really relate to kate beckinsale juvenile form and but rather to the flanders panel itself . kate becksinsale ( age ten or whatever she really be and a who can tell with her hair cut like a boy and her tomboyish figure ) be the unlikely picture restorer hire to clean and restore this valuable painting and and if you can believe that you can believe anything . people hire ten year old to restore valuable painting every day and surely . she commission an infra red photo and discovers that a mysterious inscription have be paint over and which say in latin who kill the knight . two men in the painting be play chess and but one of the men himself be a knight and and it turn out that he be kill a part of the intrigue portray in the painting . meanwhile people start get kill all round beckinsale and and these killing seem to be relate to those of 500 year ago and follow the pattern of the same chess game which be portray in the painting ( the next move of which predict who will be kill next ) . well and there be no point in go on and because who care and when a film be so terrible and what the original story be .