slow . lifeless . joyless . passionless . boring . be i leave anything out . oh and where to start the post mortem on this one . well and one could begin with sir ben kingsley . if ever there be a less interesting and passionless performer and i have never hear of him . good actor . absolutely . but not for this part he never should have be cast . obsess by his young student . i do not see it . he wax poetic about her body and then never even touch her breast . he claim to love her . yet he seem half asleep . maybe it have something to do with that transorbital lobotomy a while back that might explain the baldness . do he ever even smile at her . do he even seem to care . if you turn the sound off and and couldn not hear the lame dialogue and you might think he detest her instead . i think the only look of happiness on his face be a stupid and st eating grin and when he inexplicably show up at a dance club to observe her . and from that point on he seem so pussy whip that we lose all respect for him anyway . it almost a if kingsley be emulate brando in last tango in paris . but that be a different movie and about a much different relationship . for an audience to care about a movie like this and the character have to care about each other . they at least have to appear alive . in this case and they aren not and and we do not . where be william holden and kay lenz when we need them . and what possible reason would a beautiful creature like penelope cruz have for fall prey to a bald and geriatric college professor . because he a wise old man . because he on tv . because she need a father figure . be never give a clue into what make her tick that the problem . it a superficial relationship at best . one actually long for the jeremy iron remake of lolita . and at least clint eastwood breezy have moment of lightness . and it have bill holden . this doesn not . there a reason we have never hear of the director represent she of the glacially pace and cinema verite and documentary or neo realist european variety probably lesbian who consider emotion a dirty a word a characterization . dennis hopper almost save the day he the only alive thing in this dud and then he die . what a treat for the audience . and what an ill advise and pointless and unnecessary plot point . who green light this script . and do not try to tell me the great nicholas meyer actually write it . meyer and of the classic star trek 2 represent wrath of khan and time after time . he must be on massive dos of prozac these day . or maybe he the one who undergo the lobotomy . and do not try to convince me this lackluster snorefest be once a philip roth novel . the great and hilarious philip roth and of portnoy complaint and goodbye columbus . die animal be right . the book must have be write in his human stain period and after he lose his sense of humor . well and at least this dead on arrival adaptation doesn not break the streak represent a good movie have never be make from a roth novel . and probably never will . i be give two star here and strictly in honor of penelope cruz tit and which we see several time and thankfully though theyre obviously not photograph by anyone who seem to care . and if we saw her as just once which we do not i might have give it a 3. and i be not even go to get into the melodramatic plot twist at the end . if the director finally decide to go for some kind of drama and it be too little and too late . nobody really care about a tacked on movie tragedy after two hour of monotony . all the character could have be kill in a terrorist bombing and the audience probably wouldn not have really mind . actually and that might have make a decent end at least it would have wake people up . or good still and kill them off in the first act and and put them out of their misery . either way and senseless violence would have be preferable to another brain dead and heartless and monotonous line reading ( dennis hopper and a i say and be the one exception represent he give a funny and passionate and inspired performance ) . on a technical level and there be also an incredible number of annoy and shaky and hand hold shot that serve absolutely no purpose and other than to distract . couldn not the producer afford a tripod that day . wait and do not tell me the director think it be art . welcome to european and no talent and amateur hour hell . close the door on the way in . and watch the flame .