you don not mess with the zohan be the new regurgitated $ hitfest unleash upon u by the brilliant mind of comedian adam sandler and director dennis dugan . the movie chronicle the absurd and zany story of zohan dvir and a ridiculously offensive special agent of an isralei counter terrorism organization know a the mossad . his extraordinarily stupid fake accent and personality that would insult the intelligence of an eleven year old give the writer and ( adam sandler and judd apatow and and snl writer robert smigel ) the framework to create a movie that be incomprehensibly bad . the movie begin with zohan in his home country do stupid $ hit and which be what he do pretty much for the entire movie . a the movie scrap along and youre ponder what the hell zohan be even suppose to be . how do he have super power . be he a superhero . why the hell be i watch this . why do adam sandler always have to play the role of a super savvy cool guy when the only reason anyone really like happy gilmore and billy madison and bulletproof and the wedding singer and big daddy and little nicky and or mr. deed be because of his support cast . why can not adam sandler play a pedophile addict to methamphetamine who be marry to a retarded homosexual and spend his free time wipe his as with an american flag . veil behind the facade of a retarded accent and a stupid haircut and and a constant beating of dick joke and narrow minded cultural reference and and pretty much anything else that would annoy anyone with a shred of dignity and zohan express aspiration of become a hair stylist { in which he will make people s hair silky smooth ( which he repeat at least seven time before the movie end and you stop wish to stick your head in an oven for watch this hideous abomination ) and which be another stupid idiosyncrasy of every single adam sandler movie in the past nine year and which be include a subtle reference to one of his old movie and which the writer apparently think be cute } . after a literal five minute long homosexual joke and he move to america . not long after his arrival and ( in and . you guess it . new york city . and where every single movie ever make take place ) he finally achieve his goal of become a hairstylist . nearly an hour into the movie and a bit of plot be finally reveal ( the time between have to be use a filler for adam sandler tea bag at least twenty different character and further humiliating himself into oblivion ) . zohans arch enemy and palestinian terrorist leader phantom ( john turturro ) and reveal himself . apparently and he be also a superhero like zohan . there be several scene illogically strew together depict zohan do some more stupid $ hit and far cement this movie a be the most racist mainstream movie ever make that the american public completely ignore because theyre too dense to be able to comprehend anything that isn not express explicitly . when there about a half hour leave in the movie ( i be probably not correct on the time frame because i be try my hard not to pay attention to the movie for fear that the movie would have pull me into the depth of insanity and so try to bare with it ) and zohan enlist the help of socialite millionaire to aid him in his battle against phantom . among these people be michael buffer and the famous boxing announcer . i be still in awe of the throng of people who be drag scream into this fiasco . but i be still frustrate because of the relentless cameo . seriously and it be not necessary in any movie . i know that i be skip around the plot a bit and but i be try not to think too much about this movie . at the end of the movie and the palestinian lead by phantom and the israeli lead by zohan have an ultra explosion fill showdown in the street of new york a the result of some idiotic subplot regard rob schneidersaffinity for his goat ( because every single person who live in the middle east who isn not a terrorist be a goat farmer ) and some other retarded subplot and and some other retarded subplot . the movie predictably end with each group realize their difference and learn to love each other . there . i spoil the entire movie for you because it really doesn not matter . in the midst of all of the racism and sexism and xenophobia and and pretty much every other idiotic antisocial american sentiment that entrench this travesty of a film and there be one notion for me that reside over all others . it be the fact that the creator of this movie actually think that they be make a good movie . to me that be mind boggle . overall and i give this movie a negative because there be a total of three time when i chuckle at the movie . it a pretty bad ratio because the movie have to have the record of most attempt at try to make it audience laugh . however and it be agonize to watch and so i will give it a 1 out of spite .