the below commentary on the movie be write by a friend and who catch a spanish dub of checkered flag or crash on telemundo well into the evening . checkered flag or crash be about as bad a it get . from what i can tell and joe don star a joe don baker and the lovable lunk he always play . he compete in some off road challenge race . ( by the way and the lyric to the theme song for checkered flag or crash and checkered flag or crash and have four word can you guess what they be . ) the support cast of larry j. r. ewing hagman and susan sarandon ( . ) make it way too fun not to share with you guy . i really do not think mst3k could have do this movie . they would have choke to death on a combination of vomit and laughter . the movie seem to be a series of spectacular and more often unspectacular car crash mostly stock footage . essentially it be an hour of the chase scene from mitchell . there be hilarious moment when the camera be try to get the natural vantage point of an off road race and but because of the wind all you could see be tire and dust because tree branch cover the screen . it be a if they have budget exactly an hour of tape and so everything be do first take and then all this nonsensical stock be add . i think they may have have footage from nascar joe don in a jeep and joe don in a jeep and richard petty crash in turn 2 at talladega and joe don in a jeep . do i mention that i be watch all this in telemundo . the bad be the uncomfortable moment when joe don whoop it up after knock innocent and unassuming competitor into wall and off of cliff and or out of focus ( each end in explosion and emphatic death ) . i wonder if in the closing credit they be list a unnecessarily kill driver 1 12 the movie end with a final and triumphant vehicular manslaughter follow by our pudgy hero recklessly and needlessly go at the finish line at full speed with nary a competitor in sight ( perhaps there be a time limit he have to beat i do not know and i do not care ) . a the car cross the line and he lose control and jump a bridge like kitt ( you know and there no ramp and but the car somehow become airborne ) and and flip over repeatedly . four crash be show to represent the incident . note that i do not say four angle . there be four independent crash film they physically could not have be the same accident . the best part be that it almost look like the car be hit spectator at one point the over under on extra injure during film must have be 60. so a a smoke machine billow and the shocked crowd approach to ask a ) if joe don character have be kill and b ) if the movie be over and and c ) with whom should they file their injury claim and our man hand ease out the passenger side window and give the thumb up . sarandon shake her head dumbfoundedly and hagman be see race toward the near bank to cash his check before the studio go under . then the theme music come in . checkered flag or crash . absorb stuff . since this viewing and i have be reflect on the three star represent 1 ) hagman really and between i dream of jeanie and dallas and there be ten year of him do nothing . i wonder if he do any porn in that time . and i wonder if that would have be a step up or a step down from checkered flag or crash 2 ) sarandon youre kid me and right . and here the weird thing and in this movie she probably 20 25 year old and and not remotely hot . i have never find her to be good look and but i always figure she must have get in by be hot when she be younger . not the case . how do she always get guy in movie . do joe don tell her the secret to be a hatchet face that still get cast a a romantic lead . which bring u to . 3 ) baker how the hell do he get lead role . and how the hell do he always get a romantic partner . be he a sex symbol in the 70 . he wasn not attractive and he have no charm and and his character be horrible people . his movie seem to be ninety minute of him get the crap beat out of him until he finally kill everyone else . do you realize this be like cast drew carey a the lead in the fast and the furious . and finally and what do it take to stop a movie from be produce in the 1970s . this budget couldn not have exceed thirty thousand dollar . the major special effect ( use with great frequency i might add ) be dust . i figure the only significant cost must have be the wrongful death suit by family of extra .