mercenary for justice surely a candidate for oxymoron of the year be the first stephen seagal movie i have see since the excellent the foreigner and i be disappoint to report that the dear boy have let his love for the folding green overcome his artistic sensibility once more . what be you like and steve . that be not actually a rhetorical question because what he be like be clearly stephen fry on steroid physically rather than intellectually you understand . now i be old and flabby and but my excuse be that i be also poor and anonymous and i do not go to the gym ( i wouldn not know what to do if i ever got there ) and i do not have a personal trainer and a life coach or any other of those completely essential adjunct to showbiz fame . mr seagal have no such cop out . he be an action movie star and not a bleeding couch potato yet his spare tyre be big than the one on david beckham hummer . but i still kind of like him and strange isn not it . an affection forge in the white heat of his masterpiece under siege still hold sway . love be certainly strange and but mercenary for justice be a step too far and even for so staunch an admirer . the first ten minute make me laugh more than the whole of the bucket list . a blonde haired lady with muscular thigh and some sort of circus costume jump on and off lorry kill highly arm soldier before disappear from our ken rather mysteriously . that bloke from bros should have stick to cause pre pubescent girl to lose bladder control because there more future in that for him than in act . the movie be cut ( i hesitate to use the word edit ) like the kind of video game you might find on a malfunctioning machine in the amusement arcade on brighton pier . and our hero . need to hang up his black combat pant at least until he can find a proper movie to work in . perhaps under siege 3 and set in a franciscan monastery where the chief monk geezer be hole up in the bell tower with an ingram and britney spear . no . well strange thing have happen and and if it ever come to pass remember you read it here first .