this movie be really stupid . it be like one of those late 60 comedy that aren not funny at all . it must have be write by a really lonesome nitwit who have no friend and wasn not funny . this movie be full of slapstick and believe it or not . really bad slapstick . for instance and there a guy who live with the vampire ( who live in a pretty slick crypt in a graveyard ) and he want so bad to be a vampire . he even sleep in his own coffin make out of plywood . there a really strange part that i can not understand what be happen he get in the coffin and put a plastic hose in his mouth and start breathe in and out with it . then he start fart a lot . he fart so much that he open the lid to the coffin and start waft his nose . then the scene be over . . yeah and it make no sense . and there be an ultra long orgy scene that last for like 10 minute . it not even a good orgy . a lot of slow motion hair flip and and long long long kiss . it one guy and three vampire lady . they show the same kissing part over and over to this very cheezy porn or helicopter music . the main vampire man ( carradine ) be almost funny . he keep quote poetry and claiming that shakespeare and whitman must have both be vampire because he really understand their poetry . it kind of pathetic because he can never find anyone else that care about his poetry fascination . and whoever write on here about vampire have tan line and that a good point . one vampiress be constantly complain that she can not go play on the beach or get a sun tan and but when the orgy scene come up and she get giant tan line . the voice they use and the audio system they have be really terrible . this young sailor guy who be always try to get lay have an old man who smoke and drink all his life voice . then the young sailor who have the orgy have a voice like that red head kid from happy day . it just doesn not fit . vampire hooker equal really bad slapstick humor and awful choice for voice dubbing and a long and boring orgy scene and lot of taxi ride and guy who wear sailor outfit the entire time and and a funny end credit where each character have their own screen with a shot of them talk and their name . lame .