old sea map use to leave a warning on the outer edge of the chart . it would read represent here be monster . i wish such a message have be write before the opening credit . oh and actually it be and but it be in code that i decipher too late to save myself . it be the part which read represent 3 ninjas high noon at mega mountain . woe . woe unto me . i be a man with and admittedly and unusual and quirky taste when it come to film and film actor or actress . i like a lot of character actor because they tend to get the most interesting variety of part . i really love victor wong career . memory of his performance in film like tremor and prince of darkness and and especially big trouble in little china ( with another favourite of mine and al leong the wing kong hatchet man . lol ) have put me on a quest to see a much of his work a possible . a quest that die saturday afternoon just past . this deeply regrettable and dreckish and foul excuse of a film and the knowledge that victor wong appear in three other incarnation of it be enough to sour even the strong movie goer stomach . victor appearance in this awful thing be mercifully concentrate in the opening of the film . it give him no chance to show off any of his inimitable charm and victor wong look like a tired old man weigh down by the two hard word that any actor will ever have to listen to represent contractual obligation . music represent insipid . direction represent insipid . plot represent insipid . dialogue represent insipid . act represent hit and miss . the kid all deserve good than to be stick in this film . for fear that they will track me down and beat the heck out of me with their ninja skill and just let me say that they all give academy award worthy performance . exhibit a represent the two young brother manage to keep a straight face and wait hold their fight stance for thirty second a the three bad guy adult struggle to get out of their costume and dress up again so that the kid can yell ninjas . i do not blame the kid for this despite the fact that they be as unwatchable a everything else here . this film will bore parent to death so unless you want orphan and avoid and avoid and avoid . victor wong ( let me return to a bright light for a moment ) die after this film . jim varney and who also appear in this film and have also since die . you may draw your own conclusion . varney and in all fairness and be probably the best thing in this film . his performance take him in a scene steal direction with a bad guy turn . out act loni anderson and hulk hogan and all three ninja and he easily come across a a bully who be pick an act fight with unarmed opponent . i say i wasn not go to blame the kid . this wasn not their fault and this wasn not their fault . final verdict represent ( un ) watchable . bearable only for those who be die hard wong or varney fan . also bearable if one chant over and over again the word represent this too shall pass . all others should give a miss with extreme prejudice .