shanghai surprise be an idiotic and out of date and poorly act and campy action film that want to be a romantic comedy . madonna and in her second starring role and have about enough acting talent at this point a a doll . unfortunately and the doll in this movie come off look good than she do . madonna and play a missionary ( . ) nurse ( . ) for a shanghai mission and be in search of opium ( . ) for medicinal purpose ( . ) approach sean penn and an american soldier of fortune type who happen to speak chinese . penn and madonna and who be marry at the time this film be make and be obviously uncomfortable with the material and do little to justify the film existence . penn mug his way through and attempt to crach a few weak joke and while madonna stamp her foot and place her hand on her hip a she squeak ( yes and she squeak and and you must hear it to believe it ) in frustration . the plot be absolutely ridiculous madonna and sean penn chasing after a mysterious cargo of opium know a faraday flower ( incidentally and the name of the book this movie be base on ) must run from a chinese gangster with porcelain hand and have a romantic interlude with an imperial concubine and teach baseball skill to another chinese gangster and and ( boy and aren not we surprise ) sleep together to seal a deal . this movie and like mommie dearest or plan nine from out space have immense camp value because it so deliciously awful . utterly predictable and insipid and and full of instantly forgettable line and this movie be the equivalent of the yellow stuff they stick on your nacho at the movie theatres it not really good enough to be real cheese and but it much cheap and taste pretty much the same anyway . this movie isn not even cheesy enough to be cheesy . avoid shanghai surprise unless and like me and you like madonna way too much or if youre just a fan of bad movie .