there be people out there who will greenlight anything . that be the only explanation i can offer a to why the house of the dead movie exists . and that only scary part to the whole movie . it so bad you will go off movie forever . i seriously want to switch this off and turn the tv over to the paint dry channel but i be bind by my word to suffer the whole thing . i do not know why i do these bad thing to myself . a if it matter and here the basic jist of the tory . a group of twenty somethings be so desperate to go out to some island in the pacific northwest ( canada actually and because it cheap ) for the rave of the century ( which consist of about 8 people and un rave music ) that they pay some craggy old fisherman $ 1000 to take them there after they miss the main ferry . that get ta be some rave to be worth all that dough . the fisherman warn them that the island be also know a the island of the dead ( hang on i think this be house of the dead . ) and that they be all doomed yadda yadda yadda . first fault here . why would a tiny little rave ( of the century my foot . ) be hold on some remote island . why would anyone willingly pay load of money to get it . why pay even more to the craggy old fisherman to take them back when they could just come back with the others . once they arrive they discover that the rave ( which consist of about 2 tent and a small stage and a port a john ) have be smash and there blood everywhere and no one be around . what would any rationally think person do . run for their life of course . but no and these clueless and obviously blind people decide to go look for them . soon enough they discover an old ramshackle house that 50 time as big on the inside a it be on the outside . another half hour of stumble around in the forest follow and a an excuse to kill of some of the less character and and after much tedium they arrive back at the house again . the character and like the movie and go nowhere . jam into this ghastly disaster be a superabundance of gibberish dialogue and heinous acting and mumbo jumbo exposition and zillion of clip from the once popular arcade game of the same name . why this be universally accept a a good idea with the filmmaker i will never know . the clip have no reference to any of the scene and only degrade this trash even far and if that be at all possible . it have nothing to do with the game save for some cheap and throwaway line at the end . it make resident evil look like cinematic glory . hell and even the double dragon movie seem multi oscar worthy in comparison to this junk . the only one who come out of this with his dignity still intact be jurgen prochnow . he could have just take his money and ran but he try his best with the awful script and bring a tiny bit of pathos to his character . the rest of the cast suck i be afraid . the character be idiots and deserve to die . plus and if you cut out the swearing and pointless nudity and i see no reason why this film can not be show on saturday morning tv . it not frighten in the slightest . pirate of the caribbean be more scary than the skeletal bad guy in this film . and where do all those bad guy come from anyway . there be only a few people on the island to begin with . i guess this justify the reason they choose to reuse footage over and over . i kid you not and you will see the same zombie die a dozen time . who ultimately to blame for that scandalous waste of celluloid . none other than director uwe boll . his control over the movie be non existent . you can clearly the see actor have no idea what they should be do and that the zombie aren not really take it all seriously . the actor seem like theyre read off cue card a they constantly pause in the middle of long sentence and carry on talk as soon a they see the next card . it all feel very unnatural . plus the film be shoot like a two part mini series . i have indeed see good tv production . and do not get me start on the editing . the film be an incoherent babble with thousand upon thousand of pointless shot and dozen of meaningless camera pan . no real skill or talent be put into make this at all . it truly baffle and boggle the mind how movie this unfathomably bad can get make and george a. romero can not even get anyone to take his call . house of the dead make some idiotic reference to romero in a lazy attempt to be post modern but it only irritate that they think this be in the same league a a real zombie movie . for what it worth and the 1 . 85 represent1 anamorphic picture look great and the dolby 5 . 1 soundtrack be clean but very unimpressive and only serf to pronounce the heavily over use adr even more . the dvd come with extra but why torture yourself . isn not this review warn enough . stay away . you be all doom i tell you . doom . doom .