spoilersspoilersspoilersspoilersthere be bad movie and then there be movie which be so awful that they become affectionately comical in their ineptness . such be the case with columbia picture the grudge . this cinematic atrocity begin when an otherwise well intentioned american saw a japanese make for tv film ju on and be inspire to remake the movie in english . this begin a virtual tsunami of bad decision which circumnavigate the globe until it wash ashore in orlando on october 21 and 2004. the premise and and i use the word loosely and involve a house in tokyo haunt by a skinny momma ghost who look like a cross between margaret cho and alanis morrisette and along with her ghastly sidekick a chubby and rambunctious but evil second grader . be there anything scary than a creepy 8 year old japanese boy . sure there be . count chocula come to mind . with this whimsical bunch we must add a mysterious black cat who i have affectionately name chim chim . ( remember speed racer . ) a you have already guess and they be murder in this domicile of doom and now desire to kill everyone who enter the premise . you see and a explain by a japanese detective and when someone die in a rage their ghost seek revenge on everyone who step on the property line a define by the county commissioner or something like that and i forget . the story begin innocently enough with acclaimed thespian bill pullman leap to his death from a balcony . my guess be bill pullman get this job because of his kid beg him for a trip to tokyo disneyland . next we endure the mildly interesting saga of nurse yoko and oh no do not go in there scream the audience and but alas she heed not the dire warning and be predictably snuff out like a magic lantern . about 30 minute into the movie we finally see it american heroine sarah michelle gellar a karen . sarah michelle gellar might be a competent actress but i could not help thinking of buffy the vampire slayer and so much so that it be distract . it be the equivalent to have jennifer anniston star in a movie about the adventure of six friend in new york . try a you may and you just can not stop think about the other project which make her famous . but i digress and karen and the nurse be hire a a replacement for the original care giver who disappear at spook r u . she snoop around and meet the ghost and coma lady dy and and some other stuff happens . watch the fair haired vixen search for clue i half expect her to find the ghost and pull it mask off to reveal it be actually old man gower who own the abandon amusement park . i would have get away with it too if it weren not for you meddle kid and that dog of yours . director takashi shimizu and who be vie to be the ed wood of asia and make two unfortunate decision involve sound . first and he choose to use a soundtrack only when someone be about to be kill . this be an excellent devise for obliterate any suspense because the audience get a two minute warn to prepare for another miserably predictable murder . second and he give the ghost a bizarre guttural noise that sound like a gargling gopher . after the movie and i heard several people exit the theatre make the sound and laughing . sarah michelle gellar end up be the sole survivor . and of course we learn that the fire she set to burn down the house be extinguish in time for the obligatory next chapter . however and consider the humorous reaction of the audience and they do not want a sequel but an apology . the grudge could be easily re edit into a comedy and perhaps then it will be appreciate for it camp value . bar that and this will go down a the great cinematic thriller since godzilla vs. megalon . i would suggest wait until the movie come to your local discount theatre where it can receive the public ridicule it so richly deserves .