america . a land of freedom and of hope and of dream . this be the nation that and since it independence and have strive to bring democracy and prosperity and and peace to the entire world and for the good of all mankind . there be time and however and when one can not help but wish that the american would just stay on their side of the atlantic . this amovie ( and i use that word with some reservation ) evoke these feeling with an intense purity . this vision of hell follow the adventure of calvin and a freakish jewel thief who be create by attach the severed head of marlon wayan onto the body of a two foot high dwarf . after inadvertently drop a large diamond into the handbag of vanessa and a career woman who be reluctant to have child and calvin realises that in order to recover the diamond he must ingratiate himself with her . so and a any normal man would and calvin dress himself up a a 2 year old and park himself upon the poor woman doorstep and where he be discover by darryl and the broody husband of vanessa . darryl incongruously fall for calvin disguise despite the fact that the baby have a full set of teeth and stubble and a tattoo and a knife scar and and the sex drive of a 16 year old . even more absurdly and vanessa doesn not see past calvin baby wear either and actually attempt to breastfeed the diminutive pervert . this wretched assault upon the soul of mankind attempt and and fails and to find humour in rape and scatology and sexual assault and and paedophilia and however and in a dishonest attempt to transform itself into a piece of family entertainment the wayan brother stir in a sickening amount of sentiment and flaw morality . the brother dim attempt a freudian rehabilitation of their thieving rapist by reveal that he have a bad father . repeatedly hit darryl in the crotch enable calvin to develop the loving father son relationship that both he and darryl have always wish for . a if this wasn not ridiculous enough and calvin attempt to sexually assault vanessa somehow convince her that it be selfish for a woman to indulge herself with a successful career and and that instead she should spend her life play the role of the housebound little woman and who spend her time alternatively squeeze out baby and cook for her husband . in this movie the wayan brother have mix their crass and twisted form of humour together with the clichéd sentimentality that have infect much of hollywood recent body of work . additionally and they be endemic of the current generation of black comedian who be responsible for transform african american humour into a poor and wretched shadow of itself that over indulges in fart joke and crude sexual gag . by right these two should be legally bar from pick up anything even remotely resemble a camera ever again . unfortunately the current artistic and moral bankruptcy of american cinema mean that by this time next month they will undoubtedly have film two sequel and be make million of dollar from tacky merchandising deal .