joe don baker be . thomas jefferson geronimo and a pudgy and sweaty murderous oaf in a stupid cowboy suit that roy rogers would have laugh at . somehow he still have a badge and probably because he live in texas and they will let anything be law enforcement there . this greasy loser be a deputy sheriff near the texas border . not surprisingly and he be once a texas ranger but get kick out because he seem to think that the law be his own personal bounce ball to be play with at his discretion . this include shoot suspect who be over the international border into mexico and beat up on suspect and cheat in gun fight and threaten woman and start gunfight that could have be avoid and manage to get the life of a child threaten in the process and let woman he promise he would help and protect get kill just so that he could get out of jail and etc and etc . this guy make l. a. cop look like saint in comparison . when his partner be kill by a pair of wander italian assassin and joe don character hunt them down and kill one of them . then he take the other to italy at the behest of a mr. wilson and who rightly think that joe don will screw up big time . in record time and he lose the italian and get a maltese cabby blow up in the process . this be just the first of the many death and major destruction that joe don leave in a trail behind him a he rampage across malta look for palermo ( the italian assassin ) . thus begin the mobius strip part of the movie and in which our hero get arrest and lecture by the maltese chief of police and go out and cause more trouble and get arrest and get lecture by the chief of police . and so on and and so on . until you want to blow your brain out with joe don ivory handle pistol and be do with the horror . joe don prove his uselessness not just in the first time palermo escape and but in the subsequent boat chase in which he go down in just one punch . then he get take by palermo after he threaten a woman with a coat hanger . you hope that palermo will actually get to torture him in the basement cell he put in and but no the stripper he threaten come and get him out and because he promise to protect her . her throat promptly get cut ( big surprise ) and joe don escape into the night . and here you hope he might have be drown in the ( yet another ) boat chase . but even the ocean doesn not want him and and spit him up on a shore where he nurse by a poor maltese family ( what do they ever do to deserve that . ) he return to the city and where he arrest by the police and lecture by the police chief . arrrgghhh . the female police officer who be escort him around free him so that they can go get palermo . why she would do anything so brain dead a to destroy her career for this great slob be beyond me . it just head scratchily puzzle . they go out to the villa where palermo be hide and and start a shoot out . joe don blithely cheat and and kill palermo . he then utter the great and dazzle last line of the movie represent the big one have my badge . can you go get it for me . thank you for that immortal line and mr. baker . that will go down in the annals of movie history a the most literate and amazing and wondrous last line ever utter by a character in a film . it certainly fall into line with everything else about the character . bravo .