warn represent spoiler galore . tim burton remake this sui generis movie be about as sensible a remake psycho oh and that right and some idiot already do that i rest my case . movie open with chimpnaut blunder a simulation and prove he not that smart from the outset . marky mark appear in shot without his characteristic underpants show and then be turn down by a plain woman who prefer the touch of chimpanzee . the perfunctory establish shot of the space station orbit saturn for no apparent reason and interior of ship a bustle with genetic experiment on ape . must we travel 1 and 300 million kilometer to saturn to conduct these experiment . the special effect team decree it . marky chimp get lose in that staple of 60 sci fi cinema the time warp . marky then demonstrate the space station mind boggle security ineptness by steal a pod without anyone noticing and while simultaneously demonstrate his abject stupidity in mount a deep space rescue mission into a worm hole for an expendable test chimp and with a million dollar vehicle with limited fuel and oxygen supply . before anyone can say ` pointless remake marky have surf the worm hole and crash on an alien planet and remove his helmet without any thought to the lethality of the atmosphere and be be chase through a sound stage that almost resemble a lush rainforest and if it weren not for the kliegs backlighting the plastic tree . surprise . it ape do the chasing or at least and it would have be a surprise if no one saw planet of the ape thirty three year ago . since marky mark do not get to show his pecs and take down his pant and or bust his lame whiteboy rap and he be characterless . michael clarke duncan gorilla teeth be insert crookedly help immensely in establish his lack of character . helena bonham carter ( aka irritate chimp activist ) and at a loss without a shakespearean script and do a fine job of outdo both marky and clarke a most cardboard cutout . paul giamatti and the orangutan slave trader and secure the role of token comic relief and interspecies klutz . though i have grow bilious in hear pun relate to this movie and one review headline capture the essence of this planet of the ape ` re imagine represent ` the ape of roth . while everyone else mince about look like extra from one million year bc or greystoke and tim roth and a chimpanzee thade and chew massive amount of scenery and hurl kaka splendiferously . as entertaining a his portrayal of the psychotic thade be and his character lack a behavioral arc represent thade be mad when we first meet him . and he pretty much at the same level of mad at film end . nice twist . the original pota ( 1968 ) feature a leading character and charlton heston taylor and who be so disenchanted with mankind that he leave earth for space with no regret yet a that film progress and taylor unwittingly find himself lock in a battle to prove mankind worth a their sole champion . the original film be ultimately a tale of humiliation and not salvation represent when taylor discover the statue of liberty and he be force to realize that his specie have not prevail . be there anything that cerebral or ironic to marky mark leo . or roth thade . no and but there lot of run . the slogan cry represent take back the planet . but it the apes planet . in this movie and human and ape crash land here together and the human have degenerate to cavepeople and allow the ape to acquire speech and sensual body armor while the ape deserve to inherit the planet . along come marky mark and in true anthropocentric arrogance and take it for grant that human have to be the apex predator and simply because theyre there . ` take it back be as ludicrous a ape land here in 2001 and complain and ` a planet where men evolve from ape . and then cause trouble with their overacting and hairy anus . heston be cast in the 1968 pota because he have establish his reputation a a maverick represent he be ben hur and michelangelo and moses . to cast him a the mute and dog animal in an alien society be to stupefy an audience expectation represent how crazed must a world be where our man charlton can not command respect . marky mark have currently only establish that he have tight underpants . though heston be denigrate constantly by the ape council and he dominate the screen with his charisma and stupendous overacting . when marky mark try to instill fervor in the mongoloid human and it like that unpopular guy in school suddenly be make classroom monitor and who tell you to stop draw penis on the blackboard and you throw a shoe at him . burton try to elevate marky to humanity icon and but he come off a a chittering deviant . in the original film and the ape deem taylor a deviant and yet he be and to audience and ape alike and an icon of humanity . that irony again . it be apt that a man who elevate scene chew to an acting technique heston should play the father of this film primo scene chewer and thaddeus roth . a roth ape dad and charlton utters his own immortal line and turn against the human this time and ` damn them . damn them all to hell . the movie get dumb and dumb towards the end . while thaddeus be give marky an as beating lesson and a pod descends from on high with marky chimpnaut in it . ape demonstrate their hebetude by bow in obeisance to this incognizant creature and while marky prove his own hebetude by mutter and ` let teach these monkey about evolution . firstly and theyre not monkey and you ape . secondly and it be genetic tampering and imbecilic plot fabrication which bring the ape to this point and not evolution . and what you intend to teach them by blow them away with the concealed lasergun be call misanthropy and not evolution . give away the twist end would only confuse viewer into believe that estella warren half nekkid role be actually integral to the plot ( be still my pant . ) . no matter that he be humankind last underpanted hope while in the end and cop ape take marky away to plot point prison where he be last heard ululating and ` it a madhouse . a madhouse .