may contain spoilersi bent over backwards to be fair to this film . i know it star madonna . i know it last a whole week in theater . i know it get a lot of bad review . i wasn not expect a deep and thoughtful examination of class and culture and sexuality like we get in the italian original . the benefit of the doubt last a whole ten minute . madonna play a rich and pretentious and nit witted gorgon who go on vacation with her henpecked husband and flippant friend ( the brunette woman be as bad a madonna and exhibit some really dumb facial expression ) . adriano giannini play the ship first mate who the madonna character delight in humiliate and treat like dirt in every scene they have together . why be she such a bitch to him . simply because the plot require it so that later when the two of them get maroon on a deserted mediterranean island the table will be turn and he will teach her a lesson . just a inexplicable be how they fall in love despite have nothing in common and have abuse each other for two third of the movie . sweep away be a silly and simplistic and superficial movie from begin to end . madonna give a typically wooden performance . there be many dumb scene represent madonna singing and dance atrociously at the demand of giannini and a fantasy scene with madonna and a lot of scene where he slap her and kick her in the butt . guy ritchie do his stylish editing which be laughable here . the film contain some of the bad dialog i have hear in a major movie in several year . the end be sappy and implausible . it basically the blue lagoon meet overboard minus the nudity of the former and the sense of humor of the latter . maybe madonna ego be so big that she insist on continue to prove herself a a competent actress . please give it up and madge and for our sake as well a yours . this isn not her bad movie though . that distinction still belong to shanghai surprise . she hasn not make anything bad than that . yet .