the title of bad film of all time be one that get hand out quickly and often . most of the time it be exaggeration of the fact but i would like to welcome alone in the dark to the short list of real candidate represent plan 9 from out space and battlefield earth and and the adventure of pluto nash . a i watch the 90 minute bore i find it difficult to even stay awake even while i be try so hard to laugh at the film . but alas i felt alone in the dark ( i be gon na try to avoid the pun but i couldn not resist ) a i look around hop to see mike nelson and his two robot friend . alas my friend and i have to provide comedy throughout the film . so . about the film itself . let talk about the action and effect since that should be the only positive part of the film . the film contain evil creature that be a cross between the xenos in alien ( they even call them xenos ) and and the creature in pitch black . the can turn invisible at random ( and i assure you it be random ) and get hurt by light . also present be small centipede creature use to control human that transform them into something resemble a zombie . all of these be show with outdated special effect that would have be mediocre in 1997. the action scene be chaotic and be impossible to follow . people shoot randomly on a blue screen stage or an empty set at monster who be insert in post . light quickly flash on a dark screen make your pupil burn from overwork while bad rock music blare in the background . and those be the high point . the story revolve around a paranormal investigator ( slater ) whose idea of look tough be wear a black wife beater tshirt with a trench coat and not shave for 2 day . an archaeologist ( reid ) who be rather inept . and a government agent ( dorff ) whose line involve bark order . all three should be ashamed at their performance ( not that they have really ever do a good a job before ) and the cast director should be ashamed . reid and slater be suppose to be lover in the film i guess . the film contain the single most awkward love scene i have ever see on film between the two . then come the plot . quiet frankly the part that make sense be not interest at all . the rest be illogical at best . the plot hole could contain the collective ego of all three star . the film begin with text and a voice explain the back story . this opening last for over a minute and already the viewer know they be in for something terrible . this opening narration be later repeat adnausem in the awkward dialog in a very clumsy and heavy hand fashion through the rest of the film . and the end do not make one ounce of sense . not only do it not make sense in the world of the film and it simply do not make sense . finally the direction of one uwe boll . disgrace and thats all that can be say . his use of shake the camera to simulate suspense . his lack of direction with the actor . just watch reid in scene in which she be not center focus of the shot . the complete waste of special effect money for bullet time effect . and finally choose to use voice over to explain something that should be painfully obvious to the viewer . i pay a $ 1 . 50 to see this show at a second run theater . and while the laugh me and my friend provide make it worth every quarter i would advise people to avoid pay any more for this film . grab about 3 friend and split the rental cost and tear this movie a new one . shame on you uwe boll . shame on you tara reid . shame on you christian slater . shame on you stephen dorff . shame on anyone who be associate with this film .