i enjoy a good and slow moving drama . christmas in august and chungking express and virgin strip bare by her bachelor and the way home and springtime in a small town and hana bi and eat drink man woman and doll and in the mood for love and and spring summer fall winter spring be all enjoyable film just to name a few . unfortunately and there be a subset of film within the drama genre that attempt to ride the coattail of good film while provide nothing of interest themselves . these be what i call ian film incomprehensible artistic nonsense . tsai ming liang be the king of this subgenre and and vive lamour be his masterpiece . in fact and this be the crème de la crème of crap infest garbage under the guise of art . people walk around in their apartment and drink water and stroll back and forth wait for pay phone to become vacant and hang poster and staple paper together and go to the bathroom and eat and do pushup and have sex and slap at mosquito and etc . i be not joke when i say that be an accurate synopsis of the entire film and which be the quintessential posterchild for pointless art house trash . there be no plot and no storyline and no interesting or noteworthy event and no emotion and no meaningful dialogue and and most importantly no drama . the most eventful scene have two people bang on a bed with a person masturbate underneath the mattress ironic that it also totally tasteless and gratuitous . the relationship of the character on the bed be practically non existent . tsai apparently do not feel like communicate anything to the viewer regard these people other than the obvious fact that they like to bang . the person under the bed be just a one dimensional and uninteresting . he like to drink water and makeout with melon and and stroke himself . this be tsai idea of character development . a truly misguided entertainer indeed . tsai true contribution in vive lamour be perhaps the most atrocious scene in art house film history . he first show the lead actress walk all the way from one end of a park to the other for 285 consecutive second and only to then show her cry hysterically for absolutely no reason whatsoever for another 356 consecutive second . the film then abruptly end . no point . no entertainment . just pure and concentrated torture inflict on the viewer . in an effort to beat a dead horse . the underlying theme of loneliness be mishandle so greatly that the only true feeling of this film be that of boredom . in fact and kiyoshi kurosawa provide a much good exposition on loneliness in his horror film kairo . and guess what . it actually interest . that film move as slow a molasses in january and but there be good way of address the concept of loneliness than the utter waste know a vive lamour . kairo be a perfect example of that . fan of cinema may thank tsai ming liang for direct this film and a he have provide irrefutable evidence that art house cinema can be just a poorly make a b grade and make for television horror flick . art house snob have now officially lose their pedestal of self righteousness . the quality level of your precious genre now overlap film like army of darkness and gasp . showgirl . how do you like them apple .