i use to review video for joe bob briggs legendary we be the weird newsletter . i saw a lot of stinker and but this by far be the bad and and the year have not be kind it remain the most indecent crime against cinema i have ever witness . don not get me wrong caged terror be nominally more technically competent than and say and monster a go go or the guy from harlem or something of that ilk . what solidify it claim a bad movie of all time for me be it unique blend of bare proficiency with crippling pretension . be it a vietnam commentary . an ecological protest . an incitement to race riot . a study of man inhumanity to man . a novel exercise in pad nature footage out to ( nearly ) feature length . in short represent a hep young urban professional ( possibly the most loathesome screen character ever ) somehow seduce a nubile asian american associate into camp in the wood with him . after brow beat her with quasi philosophical clap for the good part of an hour and they run across two wandering veteran and the unforgettable jarvis ( a righteous brother ) and the troubadour ( guitar tot manson family reject ) . hey and a plot twist . tension . action . suspense . well and no and just a climactic get lock in a makeshift wire chicken coop and lightly belittle scene . the victim in question stare listlessly at the captor and mutter and no . no . please . do not . meanwhile and jarvis address the troubadour a trouby once every two minute and bring to mind nothing so much a the alien star of juan picquer pod people . that about all that happen in caged terror and and such a synopsis perhaps make it seem almost tolerable . but trust me and i have see thousand of movie in my life and and this one have remain and for the past eight year since i first saw it and the absolute bad . ( i pop it in the old vcr once every two year or so just to reassure myself and and reassure myself i certainly do . ) i think the element which make cage terror so particularly hateful be this represent very little happens and and although what little do happen happen quite poorly and quite slowly and what truly make it compulsively unwatchable be the suffocate sense that the filmmaker really and really want to shove some kind of message down your throat . but because caged terror be so incompetent and ineffectual and what be intend a a civics lesson become a crash course in intense view discomfort . this film be 75 minute long and feel like three and a half hour . it terrible and truly truly terrible . folk and trust me and i saw ghost that still walk and this one be bad . go see it . you will thank me . and curse me . just for the record and my favorite line represent ( in cage terror but perhaps ever ) yeah and well and you probably think the song of solomon be an allegory for christ love for the church . ( note represent must be deliver in a tone of concerted condecension . ) .