allow me to start this review by say this represent i love vampire movie . they can suck ( har har pun intend ) and and i will still love them because vampire be just cool in movie . van helsing and consider by many to be a steam pile of crap and be enjoyable to me because of the fact that there be vampire . you may ask represent what do that have to do with this movie . the answer be that i intend to inform you of how horrible this movie truly be and that even a sucker ( harharhar ) for vampire movie like me can despise a movie like this so much . the movie star van helsing and a college professor guy who isn not at all convincing . he a terrible actor and like everyone else in this movie and and he write it and to add salt to the wound . i honestly to not mean to offend him and and i be sure everyone have fun make this movie and but watch it be actually painful . i be not sure why i watch the whole thing while perhaps it be a morbid fascination and like watch an impend train crash represent it horrible and but you can not manage to force yourself to look away . it main fault be that it just so ing boring and and it plot be so damn ridiculous and even for a science fiction horror movie . but and i digress . by the way and van helsing have sex with his mom . of course and he doesn not know it her at the time while he just think it one of his student ( which be still illegal and all and but not a disgusting and creepy ) . if i be van helsing and i would at least pull an oedipus myself when i find out i have do something so gross . it would have make for one entertaining thing if he just make some comment on it and but no . the point isn not even bring up at all and by any of the character . it a if the writer do not even think of it . i would have at least have another character laugh at him and say ha ha and you have sex with your mom and which would be mildly humorous ( although blatantly immature ) . i be probably run out of room and so a few more word to dissuade you from ever see this film represent there a vampire ninja fight with an old man . it would be funny and but the filmmaker expect u to take it seriously . it not even worth watch the movie to see how bad it be . stay far and far away from it if you value your time at all . i will say one thing positive about the movie represent the guy who play van helsing be pretty slick with that knife of his . there like and a minute long segment where he swing around his knife and actually do some pretty nifty trick . it would be bore in any other movie and but here and sadly and it be the highlight .