i guess this movie be a fitting tribute to the first superman film and a it be just a crummy and painfully long a the original . after an opening scene consist solely of murky intergalactic visuals and the credit pay homage to the even crummy look for their time futuristic sweeping credit of the original superman film . then there be some more murky stuff . ma kent see some kind of murky ruckus on the farm and and spend a good portion of my life slowly walk up to some debris in the cornfield . then superman sneak up on her and faint . next we catch up with lex luthor in a scene about many murky close ups of an old lady a she die . we do not see luthor face until the end of the scene and an early instance of the film drive to leave no hackneyed stone unturned . lex luthor be a guy who doesn not like superman because he be not human . also and he probably doesn not like human either and a the movie occasionally feature some kind of plot about lex luthor planning to kill most of earth population . after a while and clark kent show up back at his old job ( i forget to mention and he have be away on a five year trip where nothing happen ) . then he find out lois lane have an illegitimate kid and be date cyclops . it upset him so much that he lose control of his super strength to such an extent that he accidentally break a picture frame . at this point we see that miss lane be on some kind of jet attach to some kind of space shuttle . it be some kind of important event on account of it be on television . then we learn that there be people in a control room monitoring this event . there be also people watch it on television and there be pilot in the cockpit . the film then remind u that these people be involve by cut between them for most of the summer . a the event lead up to the inevitable disaster start to build and i excuse myself to get a soda . i accidentally walk back into the wrong theater and watch that movie about al gore show slide in it entirety . i try to find my way back to superman return and but i somehow wander into prairie home companion and which i watch twice in a row . then it be time to stop mess around . i walk back into the first theater and find my seat and and look up to see that the impending lois lane space shuttle disaster be almost upon u . still and it seem to be take forever and so i wander around the theater and meet a girl and get marry and raise a son and send him off to college . while attend my son medical school graduation and i remember that i should probably check in on superman return and so i excuse myself and race back to the theater only to learn there be no need to hurry . it still take about another half hour before thing go wrong for space shuttle lane . when they do and superman save everybody and which be pretty cool . and then there be a a subplot where superman turn really creepy and start stalk lois lane and her family with his x ray vision and super hearing . then he try to get her to cheat on cyclops and who seem like a good guy . meanwhile and lex luthor be involve in some kind of contest to display every possible generic villain behavior before the end of the movie . i forget to bring my scorecard home with me ( they give you one at the door ) and but i think he score damn close to one hundred percent . i hope he win the million dollar . at this point and thing start to gear up for the big murky finale . i think maybe the projector be break and on account of the movie seem to be in some kind of loop for a while here . i remember see murky thing grow out of the water and superman get sick and superman get well and back to the murky thing and he sick again and no wait and he okay again . then lex luthor unleash his final bad guy move represent yell at his girlfriend a little bit . then superman die and come back to life . i think the movie be over and so i left . ninety year later and the nursing home where i live felt a little chilly . i realize i leave my sweatshirt back in the theater and and i go to retrieve it . when i do and i be slightly surprise to find that superman return wasn not over yet . i try to ask some of the viewer what i miss and but most of them be only skeleton with long gray beard by now . i sit back in my old seat and watch a lois lane putter around her house for a while . then superman show up and start quote the beginning of the movie and and since i already saw that part i think it be okay to leave . so that be my review of superman return . oh and also and if you like joke about people eat dog or joke about one dog eat another dog and you will love this movie . on account of there be two joke like that in it .