the wicker man have do the impossible . it replace cat woman a the bad recent movie in my steel trap cinema mind . yes it really that bad . so bad that when sit down to write this review i think to myself if i have a choice to either see this movie again or to have red hot needle shove in my eye i might actually go for the red hot needle . neil labute create a rare movie where joel schumacher could sit back and say with comfort and a guilt free mind yeah that some bad direction right there . i think the first clue for myself should have be the tag line represent some sacrifice must be make . sure it might sound sort of cheeky ominous line to intrigue you but the sacrifice will be all on the audience side of the screen . trust me on this the people responsible for this movie should be charge with a hate crime . or at least fraud for try to pass this off a anything resemble entertainment . seriously . the movie be about an island where men be just there for breed and i would still rather with be stick on gilligans island with only picture of condoleezza rice then find myself strand there . the most entertaining part about this movie be the guy who rip the loud fart i have ever hear in a movie theater . that not a joke nor be it fictional . i have never be to a thriller and hear so much laughter through out the entire film . i can not tell you with an certainty if the laugh be intentional in some effort to lighten the cinematic tension or if they just really think this crud would actual fly . i honestly find myself rout for a power outage or a perhaps a fight to break out in the movie theater and anything to make this more interesting which be pretty sad since deez and powder and i pound 2 beer each before the film just for a little mental anesthesia ( soon to be a law before all nic cage film and write to your congressman today and do not delay ) . at one point i actually think perhaps this movie be really a spoof and anna ferris be go to show up oh how i wish . nic cage throw out so much ham per frame i be think of have a cholesterol test do today . to think that i ever think sean penn be a dck for slam nic acting and oh he still a dck just less of one yes sean penn dck be lessen because of this film . do u all a favor nic play your strength and stick to be pathetic loser and drunk . you can not play superman you do not get to play strong hunky role go straight to jail do not pass go do not collect 200 dollar . his best moment in this film be when he finally come unhinged and actually punch out a burly woman to steal her bear suit ( like the fart and not a joke or a functional moment during this review ) then proceed to run amok like conan obrian masturbating bear and but with half the hilarity of a bear knock his junk around . thankfully he meet his end shortly after when it turn out he to be a sacrifice to the crowd at the new tour hybrid show of burn man and lilith fair . yes . i just spoil the end for you and if you know any good you would build statue of me in worship and sing song of my legend . i sit through this crap fest so you do not have to . about half way through this little misadventure i keep think to myself jack bauer would have wrap this case up in 20 minute of real time . ok 35 minute if kim get attack by a mountain lion first . even steve martin a inspector clouseau could have figure this out in under an hour and you sir be no inspector clouseau . if for some reason you be take captive and you have a choice to see this film or take a bullet and take the bullet . somewhere uwe boll be laugh at u all .