And stories of his hot Persian wife, Roxana, who, while still a teenager, engineered the assassination of many of Alexander's fellow wives. And even in his death, people tried to make Alexander live up to this heroic ideal. Like Plutarch tells us that he died of a fever, but that's no way for a masculine empire-building awesome person to die. So rumors persist that he died either of alcohol poisoning or else of assassination-y poisoning. I mean, no great man can die of a fever. Speaking of great men, it's time to strip down for the open letter. So elegant.