Stan, is that true? Alright, apparently the plans actually involved strapping fireworks to monkeys' backs and were never carried out, but still! Slightly off topic, obviously I don't want anyone to light monkeys on fire. I'm just saying that flaming monkeys lend themselves to a lot of great band names, like the Sizzling Simeons, Burning Bonobos, Immolated Marmoset. Stan, sometimes I feel like I should give up teaching world history and just become a band name generator. That's my real gift. Anyway, due to lack of monkey fireworks, the Chinese counterattacks were unsuccessful, and they eventually signed the Treaty of Nanjing, which stated that Britain got Hong Kong and five other treaty ports, as well as the equivalent of $2 billion in cash.