And she's wearing pants! Dear Pants, although you eventually became a symbol of patriarchal oppression, in your early days you were worn by both men and women. And in the days of the Roman Republic, they hated you. They thought you were barbarous. They thought that people wearing you was the definition of people lacking civilization. They ventured north, and the wind blew up through their togas, and lo and behold, they adopted pants. And there's a history lesson in that, Pants, which is that when people have to choose between civilization and warm genitals, they choose warm genitals.