Not to mention two different currencies. But for my purposes, the most important thing you ever did was die. You may not know this, Simón Bolívar, but when I am not a world history teacher sitting next to a fake fireplace, I am a novelist. And your last words, Dammit, how will I ever get out of this labyrinth, feature prominently in my first novel, Looking for Alaska. Except it turns out those weren't your last words. Your last words were probably, José, bring the luggage. But I decided to use your fancy, romantic, inaccurate last words.