And my chair is back! An open letter to Hiram Maxim. But first, let's see what's in the secret compartment today. Oh, it's Darth Vader! What a great reminder of imperialism. Dear Hiram Maxim, I hate you. It's not so much that you invented the Maxim machine gun – although obviously that's a little bit problematic – or even that you look like the poor man's Colonel Sanders.