Derek brings me into his bedroom. I look around to see everything so I can get a sense of him. I see two wall phones, and in black marker ink Derek has written some things like, "I feel...." It is all about how wonderful he feels when he is talking to me on the phone. I see his bed. I notice where the pillow is and go near that end to see what he sees when he's there. I see he has arranged dried flowers, colorful ones, lots of red, and a mirror and pretty things like driftwood and so on. I like the pleasant feeling it gives. I see a night table and see the answering machine and am pleased that he can hear me when I leave a message late at night and he is in bed. Now his attendants are there to help him get in bed. A man is working his catheter, four women are on a couch, two other women on the floor to my left. I am standing there, not knowing what to do. Derek is talking to me. He is gruff, distant and angry and he is also telling me to get in bed with him. I sit on the edge of the bed next to him as he turns himself to lay on his belly. I see rough, raw, red skin near his ankles and a flat wrinkled butt. He turns and looks at me, waiting. I take off my shoes and peel off my socks saying, "I hope you don't mind my cold feet." He laughs angrily and says, "You have so many layers of fear up here (he touches my forehead brusquely) and I am naked in a bed with you and you're worried about me not liking your cold feet?" He snorts derisively and lays back. He's now on his back. He says, looking at me coldly, "Now is the time to find out if this works, before it's gone too far and it's too late." I sigh and say, trying to kiss him on the mouth, but he pulls sharply back from my kiss, "I'd rather take the test and fail then not take the test at all." I curl up around his chest and try to kiss his cheek. He pulls back coldly. His hair is nearly shaved off, he is skinny. I tentatively kiss him several times more and keep talking. I say, "You talk about me. You have five heavy cement walls, two moats with dragons in them, dungeons and two alien spaceships guarding the fort." He smiles and returns a sweet kiss. He is lightening up. He says, "What's your middle name, honey?" I say, "Jane. My name is B. Jane. Darryl used to call me Barbie Jane." I say, "What's your middle name. Oh, no, I know it already, don't I? It's---it's Dwayne." Now he turns his head to kiss my breast and I am sexually warm all over, even though I am still dressed in bra and panties. Now the interruptions come. Charla is there and bouncy and full of energy. Some friends drop by and talk. Charla goes out of the room and down the hall to ask a man a question. I get up and try to call her back. She comes back and Derek asks her what size she is, period. She says, "Over 24 inches." I laugh and laugh because she has figured out why he asked the question and knew the right answer. "You have to be over 24 inches to be able to ride the amusement rides." Derek calls someone, a woman named Jean, an attendant, to come and he pays her to take Charla to the amusement park. I notice water is spilled on the wall and go over to wash it off. Derek and I are talking back and forth, like couples do, making inside jokes and comments meant only for each other's ears. Now three different people come in, a secretary, a man and another woman helper. The man says, "Oh, it sure is busy here now and I can see I have to defer to the head Mother," meaning the secretary. He goes and the secretary says she got a call from Guns and Roses and they want him to do a conference at their concert in North Carolina, but he is scheduled that weekend at San Francisco. He says happily, "Cancel San Francisco and make the date." Now he says to me, "I'm going upstairs now." I hesitate, not knowing if I should stay here or go with him. He smiles and says, "Bet I'll get there before you do." I say, "I'll take the elevator." I am walking and I push my power chair to the elevator and get in. A woman in there has to help me pull up the chair over the tall first step into the elevator. Now we are upstairs and I decide to call Sebastian Fox, a friend of mine, because I saw on the Guns and Roses poster he's the warm-up band. I get him on the phone and he says, "Sebastian and Carol." I wonder for a moment if I'd accidentally called my cousin Sebastian. I ask him if he remembers me. He says, "Sure," and I ask about if he's booked for the concert in North Carolina. He says, "We may be, depends which concert they get assigned to." I say, "A friend of mine is going. He'll probably be at the smallest concert because his stuff is about disability." I hear Derek off in the distance saying, "...And what do you feel about that?" I say, "It's a shame because he's really good and very funny too." I say, "You know I've been thinking I'd do conferences on dream work." I want Derek to hear that because it would be great if he and I did those conferences together and traveled and worked together. The feeling I get from Derek is warm and positive and responsive.