My father has come to town to congratulate me. I'm going to take him to a special place for dinner. I take him to a gay restaurant because we can get good food cheaply, seeing as how they cater to such a small audience. We are naked except for shorts and unders. I get confused if it's Howard or my father but it is my father. He wants to make love to me. I can feel it and yet he is held back by feelings of how wrong it would be. He wants to see my breasts. I think, "Why? I'm 41 years old and they droop, probably as much as my mother's droop, even though I'm 20 years younger." I feel him leaning on me to get more skin contact. I lay still with my back to him, and I feel sexually excited and disgusted at the same time. I'm his daughter. This isn't right. I imagine or sense his erect penis. I think, "If he tries to put it in me, then I'll know he's trying to be sexual." He does everything but put it in. I wonder why we are in bed together but I don't move to get out. I said no real clearly without guilt.