I was at my SDI at the BE Retreat Center but it looked different than it does in waking life. The people weren't all the same. Sister Betty was there. There was a man that it seems as though I knew but I now can't remember who he was. For some reason I was feeling ill or out of place. Whatever it was I didn't want to explain to people what was making me feel the way I was. I was also saying that it was just going to take time for me to start feeling normal. It reminds me of one of the medications that the doctor had me on and the withdrawal symptoms I experienced when I tried to quit the medication, before I finally started feeling better. That is what the physical feelings remind me of. Some of the people there, especially this one man, were involved in the occasional use of recreational drugs. I wouldn't have anything to do with it. He was saying that a lot of the people there had used this drug and as a result they were being very silly. They seemed to be having a lot of fun, but I still didn't want any part of it. There was another, younger man, there that was being referred to as second-in-line to this other man. He was referring to himself the same way. We were having a meal and he was telling me how frustrated and discouraged he felt that something he had done had been rejected by the administrators there. It was some kind of a project he had done thereor something similar. I took my dishes to the clean-up counter. There were tall piles of dishes everywhere. I was trying to find a place to set mine so they would not fall or cause one of these piles to fall. People had left a lot of food on their plates. Some of it was spaghetti.