First there is a war going on. I wear a helmet and a bullet hits me on the top of my helmet as I am lying down in a crouched position. I pick up the spent bullet for a souvenir. I was lucky and the bullet didn't harm me. Now Jennifer H is very sad. Her girlfriend is going to commit suicide. She will drink poison and die. A woman like Katrina is there. I drink the poison too. I am afraid and yet calm. My death is certain now. It's a weird thought that my life is ending NOW. I lie down. I notice Jennifer sitting on the floor near her girlfriend. The girlfriend is in the last throes, gasping and all bound up like in a cocoon or shroud. She turns her face toward Jennifer to say something to her. Her face is contorted. She changes her mind because it's too exhausting to struggle against the enclosing death. I realize I am nearly at that stage now, my poison worked faster than hers. I suddenly think of my girls and how sad I won't be there to watch them grow up. I ask Katrina for paper and pen to write my last wishes. I think of my girls, then I think of my women's group friends and then I look at some of my writing (on yellow legal pad paper) and say, "Well, some of this was pretty good." It seems so strange that I am about to be nonexistent, inconceivable.