I am approaching a barn, it is old, dilapidated and ugly. Inside is darkness and rotting, stinking stuff that I am supposed to clean up. I don't want to, and as I am walking to the door, I veer away, deciding not to do it. I then walk across a grassy pasture to a muddy embankment. I accidentally slip and fall, sliding down the embankment to a muddy area that is like quicksand. I am flat on my back and sinking, trapped and I know there is no way out. I am as good as dead. My sister Lydia is with me and she is already below the mud line. I see she is still alive because her eyes open and shut. It is almost time for me to go under. I feel fear and resistance, but I don't panic. I go under and am amazed I can still breathe. A wash of water goes over us, rising us, floating, out of the mud. We crawl out onto the grass. Then we get up, hugging each other and walking toward our house, which is around the left side of the barn. There are a series of Quonset huts like married student housing at OSU. The first one on the left is ours. It is old, the paint is peeling. I open the door and walk in. I see a blue cotton print dress on a dress form and I say, "Hi, Mama." I realize it is a symbol of my mother. I see movement in the bedroom, my "father" is sick and old and in bed. I don't want to go in, but I do. His face is bumpy and old-looking. He says to me, "I have no sons, so you will be my boy, Buck Bucko." [BL]