(09/25/99)["Not doing it by the book."] Two men and I are in an empty room. One man is proposing to me. He hands me a booklet I am supposed to take and fill out properly to answer him. It's like a tax return booklet. I think this is ridiculous because I already know my answer which is no. What a waste of my time. I decide to just answer him directly and now to avoid wasting time and emotions. I say to him. I don't want to marry you. He is very upset with me for not taking the time and doing it right. The other man is watching and is empathetic for me.