(10/03/98)["Frustration over Getting Help"]  I am very frustrated with my dream software. I can't seem to get it to work right or get it sold. Ricardo isn't helping much. I am holding a baby who has shit it's diaper. It is a huge pile of shit. I am annoyed I have to clean it up. I think I am indoors. Ginny is in the room. I guess I am staying with them. I am packing to return home and am filling a suitcase with books, papers and clothes. I am tired and no one helps. Now Ernie and Bonnie are near me. I am lying down on the floor and Bonnie is lying next to me on the right. Behind me is Ernie, lying down also. He rolls over on his side so that I can feel his penis poking my anus. I feel very uncomfortable physically. And uncomfortable emotionally. I feel love for Ernie, but I am not happy about this sexual type of encounter. Nothing is going right. I am tired and unhappy.