Last night I had a terrible dream that I wasn't even going to put on this tape because I'm so ashamed, and I say to myself, "Well, how could you dream such a thing?" But then again, I read in one of the dream books, written by a dream counselor, that somebody was having dreams nightly that were worse than what I've had. And she said that you really can't be responsible for what you dream. And I have a feeling that if I don't want my conscious mind to scream out things that are unfit for it, I guess, I think I should I put it on my tape, just because. I dreamt that my father had lots of melanoma showing up in his system again, and he wasn't going to have any kind of treatment or anything done. In my dream Sheryl, Sandra and Sam were there and a couple other people, maybe their significant others. And we were at Grammy's house, and except the stairwell wasn't the narrow thing that ours is; it was like, pstttt, I'm getting all screwed up. The stairwell wasn't a narrow thing like it is; it was wide like ours is. And I dreamt that my father was just going to go and lay out in the back yard and not let anybody do anything for him or anything. And Sheryl, Sandra and Sam and my mother and I were sitting upstairs in the upstairs room in Grammy's house and Sheryl and Sandra kept asking, "Why does he keep laying there? Why does he keep laying there?" And my mother sat us all down and told us all why. And somebody said that he was laying there totally still, and that he looked like he was done. And then we were all emotional and crying and stuff, and saying all that we could have done. And then he stands up and comes in the house, and he has nothing but anger for all of us for even thinking of him in that way, even thinking that we could have done anything, even shedding a tear and having no comp______ of how it was. And then it was like we thought that he wasn't here any more and then he suddenly comes back to life. And then he went back outside and he sort of knelt down and laid down in the grass, and we had a feeling that was it then. And we were sad for a little bit, but we went on. We were all there together kind of doing things around to fix up the house and everything. And it's kind of funny because this house was like a combination of Grammy's house and our house, and the upstairs was like her house, but the downstairs was like our house, and it had our back yard and our stairwell. And the worst thing about this all is we were getting ready to have a party even, to celebrate me going off to my tech school, and we were going to invite all kinds of people. And we were supposed to make a party the day after all this was happening. And I had a feeling like I wanted us to celebrate something else besides me going off to school. And then I woke up about 2:00 o'clock in the morning, and I lifted my head, and I said, "Thank goodness that is only a dream." But it really didn't feel like a dream while it was going on; it felt so real. And there's not a lot of dreams that are like that. Most of them are too crazy to really feel real.