Two-Headed Turtle  I'm at Lake Jefferson with my friends Matt Yams and Lyle Zeffman. We rent bikes like most people rent paddleboats to go on the lake. We asked the man who gives us the bikes what would happen if we went on the water. He answers that it is not allowed but there is no way he could really stop us one we're our riding. We are riding bicycles around the lake, which isn't actually a lake but mostly land, a lot of mud, and two small ponds. I get my bike stuck in the mud. I get off my bike. I see what I think is a giant frog getting out of the mud. It is actually a giant two-headed snapping turtle. It is huge! It starts to get away. I throw a card table on it and I think I kill it, but it isn't dead. It comes after us. We swim over to the edge of the lake and get out in time. I help Lyle out of the lake. We are in a house. It is nighttime. My teammate Olie Kecker is there, and others. Someone is on the phone making harassing phone calls to a woman. I think it is dumb to do that and they should stop. I look for and find a sledgehammer to kill the turtle. I want to get two sledgehammers.