I woke up later and saw the word "homosexual" or heard it. It was small. I thought, "Oh lord, no wonder I'm blocking." Then I thought maybe this means I am a homosexual, or just think I'm one, or afraid that I am one. I told myself to dream deeper. To explain more, that no matter what, I could handle it. It was better to live with no blocks, knowing myself as I truly am. Meanwhile, Nate had come over, really drunk, smelling of vomit and tried to make love to me. After he left, I had these dreams.