(03/08/97)["Howard Again."] Howard and I are traveling on foot. Perhaps someone is chasing us. But we stop at a beautiful waterfall and pond. We swim and it is lovely and fun, except there are alligators in the water. We get out and Howard combs my hair for me and puts it up in ornate braids that have purple cloth covers on them. We companionably walk down the road. We are in the mountains and are looking for a trail or dirt road that will take us back down to the valley to my home. We see a large double trailer truck pass by and decide to follow its route. We find a way down the mountain but we get separated in a town. I don't know what the name of the town is, so I'm not sure where I am in relation to home. A parade is happening. It is on a large long train that passes through the center of town. I can't cross the street to continue my journey until the train finishes and that will be hours. I ask someone the name of the town. I think I am in Connecticut. A car is uncoupled in the train for a few moments and I take advantage of this luck and run across the street. I continue my journey and find home. Now it is the next morning and I get up. I walk out to the living room and am excited about it being Charla's birthday. I want to make a special breakfast for her. She comes up to the house, which has the front wall gone. It just opens out to the lovely countryside. I see Howard outside playing cheerfully with the kids. Ellie is there with Charla. I say to Charla that I am going to make her a breakfast and she is crabby and rude and says she doesn't care and doesn't want it. Ellie defends her right to choose. I am hurt and go into the kitchen, slamming the door and then crying as I set the table and make the breakfast anyway. I come back out after I have calmed down and Howard is there. I look at him. He is in his early 20's, a young, lean good looking man. I rearrange my hair and notice the ornate multiple layering of the braids. I am impressed with his tender skill and thoroughness. He wants me to sit in his lap and cuddle. I wonder why we haven't had sex and then remember I can't bear to have sex with him. I am reconsidering this as he seems so sweet and tender now. I wonder if we could be happy together if we tried again. I sit in his lap. We hug.