I'm in a big house. I've been married to Howard for years, but we've not connected in any way, emotionally or sexually. I decide it's time to leave him. But then I realize this time, I'll have to take the girls with me. I have no excuse this time. I'm older, done with school, and walking. I feel real fear and resistance. I don't want to take the girls. That will be so very hard, to be a mother, to be there. [BL]