(03/04/98)["Reaching for God"]  I am at a church service that is very beautiful. After the service, two other women and I walk to another church. Our belief is that our own service is so right and beautiful that we can go to other kinds of services and enjoy them without judgment. We go to another church where an old man is the preacher. He is talking on a microphone off in a corner but his voice is booming through the congregation, sort of like the old man in the Wizard of Oz who is revealed behind the curtain. He is saying that there are 8 paintings that are sacred and special. As the women and I leave, we say it's interesting. Not like our service. But it's OK if they want to believe that God is a painter. We walk across a top of some high cardboard like we're on top of a cardboard box. We are going to the next church. We come to the end of the cardboard and there is a steep ladder. I am in high heels. I shake my head no. I say I don't know what I was thinking, not taking the elevator. I can't go down this ladder. Will you be upset with  me if I don't go with you to the next church? They smile and say no problem. I turn and walk back toward the elevator. I see a man. We talk. I hug him and am in his lap. I say to him. I love you. The man is distressed. I say don't be upset. It's all right if you don't return my love. I do this twice. Now I feel like dancing. I find a spot on the gymnasium like floor where it's not as crowded and begin to dance like I'm Ice Skating. I swirl and glide gracefully. People stop to look. Someone puts a spotlight on me. As part of the dance, I leap up to grab hold of a crystal chandelier. This represents reaching for God. It is beautiful. The crowd admires my dancing. I am touched by the motion of reaching for God. It is very spiritual.