(09/07/01)["The huge turd."] I am reminiscing about a time when I was chosen to be the lead MC of some event. And one of the things that happened was in the event, I notice a huge turd on a school desk. This is some speaking event. A man like Ben Affleck is now seated in a school desk and asking me, "So I hear that you did something that got my mom really upset. Tell me about it. I blush and laugh embarrassed to tell about it. He says you remember my mom, right? Italian? I say Oh yeah. Plump, really dark hair. I remember. He describes his father. I say Him I don't remember. So he keeps pressing me to tell the story. I keep hesitating and laughing. He says his father had some affair. I say I don't really remember. So I say OK, so I'd been chosen by Jackie Gleason to be the lead moderator. He whistles how impressed he is and appreciates how important that is. I then tell him how I see the huge turd on the desk. He laughs, appreciating how embarrassing that would be and agrees no wonder his mom was so upset. We laugh.