This was about Gary S. Something was going on and I knew I needed to contact him. I knew he would want me to let him know what was happening. The only way I had of contacting him was at his home. When I called there his wife answered the phone. The feelings are as strong as they were 20 years ago. The desire. The sadness. I can still feel the pain of our parting. Tears form in my eyes still. [Intense emotion. I'm having trouble focusing on recording the dream.] My mind keeps wanting to go back to that last month we spent together. That cold November so many years ago. I'm surprised that the memories, the remembering, the reliving in my mind can still evoke so much feeling. I once again find myself asking the question, is this how it feels to be in love? I don't even know that Gary S and I had enough in common to really have been able to make a long-term relationship work. But what we did have was good. So much better than good. I had never felt that way in a relationship before him and have never felt that way in a relationship since him. Maybe falling in love has nothing to do with commonalities. Maybe you don't necessarily fall in love with a soul mate. If there is such a thing as "a love of your life" it might not have anything to do with commonalities. [I'm having trouble distinguishing how much of this is from the dream and how much from being awake.] Certainly, my mind was all over the place with these kinds of thoughts when I knew I needed to call him and even while I was dialing the phone and waiting for him to come to the phone. When his wife answered the phone it was important that she not know how I knew Gary S. I didn't know if she would know who I was if I gave my name. I don't remember if I identified myself to her. If I did, I don't know how I did. I knew she was suspicious though, about this woman who was calling and asking to speak with her husband. It seems that I either gave a fictitious name or that I was vague at best in telling her who I was. At any rate he did come to the phone. He was definitely shocked when I told him that it was me. But there was also something in his voice that made me sure that he was glad to hear from me. Maybe I wasn't sure. Maybe I was just hearing what I wanted to hear. Maybe I just wanted him to be glad to hear from me.