Toilet Paper Aggression  I'm in a campground-like area eating lunch with my friend Paul Jones and others. Paul sits down with a bunch of wet, rolled up toilet paper. Some men come over and are made at Paul for taking so much toilet paper. They are belligerent environmentalists, but they don't act like their cause is the environment. I stand up, literally, and talk to these men in a firm but docile manner, to reason with them. I say we're going to burn it anyway, so it will be used as fuel. There are four or five men, bigger and taller than I. One of them argues, but I fail to see his rationale. He repeats himself, and I'm beginning to see his pint, but it's still fuzzy. I ask him, "So, what you're saying is, in order to not get flies (around our asshole) and to have a cleaner asshole we should not wipe our ass?" The man doesn't reply directly. I ask again, "Is that what you're saying or were you being facetious?" He still doesn't give me a direct reply, so I get cocky and say, "Do you know what facetious means?" I'm taunting him, nonchalantly. The men become physically and verbally belligerent and aggressive. I remain calm, docile, and polite, but firm and unwavering: poised. I ask the men to please leave and let us eat our lunch. After the macho men stall a bit, they leave. I begin to pick up some of the scattered bits: the things that have been spilled by their aggression. I feel victorious, but poised and confident: mellow.