Ethan is on stage and I go up and we make love. Then there is a rock star who drinks cough medicine or Tylenol and is addicted to it. I drink his bottle of Tylenol and get drunk. I'm seated at a table and Merle is watching me, enjoying the fact that I am behaving in a giddy, loose fashion. I follow the rock star and we make love. I am aware it's only a one night stand and go on. Later, I see him on stage and feel good about knowing I'd had sex with him. It feels like a delicious secret. I am surprised at myself for allowing myself to enjoy sex after so long a time. Now he likes me and pursues me.