Breakdown  I call my friend Kevin Simpson's house and leave a message for him with his sister Melissa about going to the Big Resort Area this fall. I am with Kevin in a canoe near river water. My high school classmate's father Gary Lind is there. I talk with Kevin about the Big Resort Area and about the trip. I say it will be two weeks: September 1st- whenever, and we'll go from Woodsville to the Backcountry Highway. He is skeptical about the trip. We leave and kick paddle our canoes back to a house. We do this by leaning our legs out the back end of the canoes while lying on our stomachs, and kicking. We get to the house. Kevin's father Dilbert Simpson is there. He scolds us for kicking our canoes past Gary. He says Gary was fishing and we shouldn't have disturbed him. We walk up the shore a little ways. Kevin nods and says yes, accepting what his father has to say. I tell Dilbert off. I say it makes no difference whether he is fishing or not. Kevin is standing there wishing I would shut up and shaking his head as if to say, "No! Don't say it!" But I go on. I say to Dilbert, "Whether you are grilling and a boat goes by, who cares? I don't like you! You are cold and impersonal. One can turn to you for any work problem: to fix a boat, car, wall, or anything, but not to deal with people." Dilbert is agitated but remains poised. He says, "I'll borrow a phrase", as if he is too good to use normal language. He says, "I'm pissed off!" He is mad at me. I say to him, "Kiss my ass! I don't give a fuck what you think or feel! You don't know crap!" Dilbert is flabbergasted. He is hurt and speechless. He says nothing in the wake of my angry venting. There is nothing he can say. Kevin is hurt too. He doesn't want me to talk this way.  I go to my truck in the alley at home in Oak Valley. It is dark outside. There is a yellow car behind me as I go down the alley hill. The truck moves before I start it. I put it in 2nd gear when I do start it because I'm already moving. Dilbert and Kevin are inside my house saying goodbye. They are about to leave. I'm in front of the house with my mom, sister Ramona, uncle Rusty Redding, and my cousin Melvin Redding. I am going back to the Big Resort Area. It is my day off. I shake hands with Rusty, saying goodbye. My car is a green Volkswagen Beetle with a trailer attached. There is a clip missing for the windshield wiper on the passenger side. Rusty adjusts the clip that is on the driver's side windshield wiper. My mom and I share a hug and kiss. I kiss her on the cheek and on the lips. This is strange: I haven't ever kissed mom on the lips. It feels almost incestuous, uncomfortable. I tell them I've got a lot of driving to do for a tired guy, and that I'll get some caffeine when I get gas. I ask my mom to stay and talk with me a bit before I leave. She does, and the others leave. I tell her about Kevin and what happened with he and Dilbert. I am upset over this. Ramona is there. I let her stay and listen to us talk: who cares if she is there, I think. I start to drive very slowly. I say I've got to do some work on that dream, recognizing that what happened with Kevin and Dilbert was a dream. I start to cry. I stop the car on Home Avenue. I yell out loud and cry! It is very emotional for me. I leave the car there. I have a strong need to work on the dream. I quickly say to my mom to take care of the car. I run back home to work on the dream. The dream is calling me.