I'm going to elope with a gorgeous Jewish woman. But who's standing in our way? William S. Burroughs. I must pass his tests before we can elope. What does his primary and most important test consist of? I must take a one foot length of silk ribbon, and tie it around my neck. Now, while leaving it on my neck, I must stretch it somehow to run down my back, down my pants, around my feet, back up my pants, up through the front of my shirt, and around my neck again into a bow tie. Needless to say, I fail the test. Burroughs goes cackling off, dancing a little jig. We decide to elope anyhow.