(11/03/97)["Howard wants me and I say no, AGAIN!"]  I am in bed with Howard and he feels sexual desire for me. He's looking at me he groans and says you're so beautiful. I move away from and say Please don't.. He looks sad and says "Please." And I say I'm sorry. I pull away from him so we're not touching and I say to him, sometimes I think about just letting you do it. To give you relief but I just can't, after all those 10 years of marriage and I begin too cry. He gets out of bed and comes around and tries awkwardly to help me feel better. I feel very sad.