I am organizing and fixing my room. I have piles of things on a desk, and I take one thing at a time off the pile and put it where it belongs. I create shelves and put boxes of sorted things up on the shelf. Framed pictures of Grandpa Lloyd and Grandma Mildred are arranged on my desk. Three pictures of enlarged snapshots of some man, his head in different positions and moods are on the wall. (B has drawn three pictures in the journal.) I move a few chairs and a dresser. When I am through, I feel very happy and pleased. I go into the next room, which is a kitchen, and feel so happy as I see shelves of books and everything the way I like it. Howard picks me up and holds me. He wants to have sex and is desperate. He runs down the hall, carrying me so we can get to the bedroom downstairs before I stop being happy. I feel so sad and trapped because even though my body is hungry for sex, I can't enjoy it with Howard and I must have sex with him because he needs and demands it, so I feel trapped! My solution is to lie on top of him and caress us both so that I am giving or forcing my body to feel the physical experiences, but emotionally all I feel is trapped, disgusted and sad.