Ellie spills a gallon jug of water and I say to her angrily, "Pick it up; pick it up before the mess gets worse." She refuses and a big puddle spreads out. I walk away angry. I see a black woman, a friend. We hug and she says, "You should hit that child into behaving." I say, "No, I shouldn't hit her, but I should tell her that if you want to be loved, give and give, lots of love." She hugs me because I'm right.