(04/22/97)["The Agonizing Place filled with Love."] I am kissing and hugging Howard. It is affectionate and loving. I am also keeping an eye on another man in the background that I am interested in. I think I am trying to get his attention so he will see I am an approachable woman. I think to myself but this is pleasant to be in the place of agonizing and feel so loving and loved.