(12/05/99)["Mom's secret."] My mother has disappeared. Perhaps she went into the hospital without letting us know. I am worried about her. Someone brings me a packet of her belongings from the hospital safe. I decide to open them and look even though it is obvious this is her secret stuff. I want to know her secret. First, is a roll of papers, poster size. I unroll them. A series of what look like advertising slogans. I think they are my father's art work and refold them. I can't get it to roll back up right and realize she will know someone looked. I shrug. Oh well. Next are two wrapped Christmas gifts shaped like jewelry cases. Now a faded brown photo. It's animated. My mother is lying on her belly in the dirt and grass of Nebraska. Her younger sister is to her left. She tells her to go close up for the photo. Then she sees, looks into the camera, and speaks to the photographer. "Gladys, stop this. Don't take the picture." She's annoyed and angry. Then I see a picture of a house. I've never seen this house before. A dark brown house with bright pink window frames. A big spacious many roomed old farm house. An old shed is to the right of it and I realize it looks familiar because it sort of the shape and placement of my father's current house and shed. I realize this is my mother's old family home. I see a paper with the word talent written on it. It is fancy artistic writing (like my father used to do.) I now know my mother's secret. She was in love with a boy named Joe. She refused his proposal to follow her dream of being an artist. But after Joe went away, she gave in and married my father and has regretted it ever since. (In the packet was a card, "To the younger Miss V." and a Christmas gift unwrapped. A many colored shirt with very fancy balloon sleeves.