Last night I had kind of a crazy dream. First of all, I think the first, I had a lot of elements that were real fragmented, now when I think about it. But I think I laid through a lot of stage one, just kind of half conscious awareness from 5:30 to 6:00 this morning, so that's how it got all fragmented. But some elements that I can remember first is that my application into my tech school I was pretty sure was going to be rejected for some reason, and I had kind of resigned myself to the thought that I just can't be in the sound business because my vision prevents me from doing some, perceiving and acting socially, and I think I move around too slowly on some of the programs and there's no way in the world that I can operate these big huge mixer boards. Now this is all what I'm thinking in my dream, as I'm standing in this yellow room with big boards all over everywhere, almost like our kitchen is now, except it was huge like a warehouse. And I was just standing there thinking, and I had the feeling like there were like tons of people around me, but nobody was saying anything, I didn't hear anything. I was just thinking all of this. [blowing noise] Ummmm, a big blob of snot! Anyway, now that that's out of the way, then the next scene that I can remember is that I was at home. It was like the night before I had classes, like last night was, and I was sick with some kind of cold or flu or something, and I was laying on the couch with my mother and we were kind of almost asleep. And I was singing to her. And I had some kind of thing where I still couldn't go to sleep and I had to get up and take some kind of medicine, so she got up with me. And we went in the kitchen, which was kind of normal, the way it used to be, and she had me take a few pills by drinking down some water and taking them. And then she gave me applesauce that had like peanuts chopped up in it, and I think I ate it and it was good, and as I was eating it, I woke up.  That was kind of crazy, but I think this is a very telling dream that brings out some of the inhibitions that I have and this subconscious fear that I have, that no matter how hard I try, I'm not going to be capable in this field. And even if I were to realize that, I would be just devastated, and I'd probably be like a societal hermit for the rest of my life. At this point I don't know what else to do with my life. I know that's bad, but it is, it's true. And I guess I've been thinking a lot about going away. I've already started a little box of stuff, and I practiced filling out a practice application on last year's, in last year's catalog, and it slipped down behind my bed. And I figured, "Oh heck, it's just last year's scrap copy anyway; it doesn't matter." And I even had a duplicate in my catalog, but I think that might have had something to do with it.