I was at a dinner table. My cousin Sonja and my Aunt Naomi and Uncle Philip and my mother and I were at the table. Sonja kept getting into trouble and I sat there all proper and correct. I was glad it was her and not me.  I was feeling a little smug. My Uncle Philip talked to me and I remembered when I was 13 or 14 that he'd "wrestle" with me and tickle me and once lay on top of me and then backed off. I was coy. I enjoyed it and I played innocently. It was raining and dark. I was scared because I'd have to drive home alone and maybe I couldn't see well. I went to the bathroom to blow my nose. Something was lodged in it, dried snot, that looked like chewing gum. I pulled the toilet paper off the roll and there was shit on it. "Eyuck," was my feeling response. My mother was coming toward the door telling me to hurry up. I felt slight anxiety about being messy and being caught at it.