(09/19/99)["Counseling the man."] I am counseling a woman who is very unhappy. Her husband is distant and uncaring. She has a miserable life, emotionally, although he's a good provider. I listen to her and then decide to talk with the husband. I go outside to the garden he is working in. I say to him very forthrightly I want 10 minutes of your time to talk about your relationship. I resolve to time myself carefully and be done in nine minutes. I just flat out lay it out for him, figuring he won't take the time to listen and think things through. I say you made her chose between the two things she loves the most. You and Germany. You said if she was to be with him she had to move to his farm and never return to Germany. She did that. And now you remain distant and isolated in your garden. She is very unhappy, but she does as you command. She will die soon at an early age if you continue to deny her emotional connection and autonomy. It will be your fault. He is startled at what I said to him. I look at my watch and see it has been eight minutes. I stop abruptly and say Thanks for your time. Goodbye. I walk out to the car and drive away, but I sense I have made a difference and have somehow cut through his stubborn denial. There is hope for her.