(11/15/99)["Investigative reporting."] I am outdoors. I'd been asked to do a small bit in a video promo about disability. Three of us stand in a row in front of a large standing audience. We each have a letter of the alphabet to mime in a hand gesture. The three letters are COC. I am the second C. I manage to do this even with my deformed hand. After that is over I go inside and ask for any odd jobs they may have. A male editor says yeah. Here's one and hands me a note. I am to call some people to interview them. I try and try to reach one man. He won't answer the phone. He is a war vet and there is some mystery. I am also researching the subject. Pulling files out of the file drawers. I notice newspaper clippings all over the floor and see one. I read it. It is the story of a grandfather that decided to commit suicide. He visits his Grandchildren for a last afternoon together. They are grateful for the time with him. They go bird watching. They see regular Wrens. Then they are lucky enough to see a Super Wren. It is a beauty. As I read this I notice the irony of them enjoying seeing the Super Wren and at the same time he's already decided to die. Seems strange to me. Wouldn't the wonders of life pull him back into life?