My crush Jose was playing basketball against the bleachers.  I was in the car. I guess I either gave him another letter or asked him about going out again.  I left and came back to receive another rejection.  Later on, my best friend Emma, Jose, a friend of Emma's and I were sitting around.  They were talking about how they were first-generation.  Jose was depressed because he was going to have to go back, and remember how to speak Spanish.  The three were able to talk and relate.  I leaned back and sort of out of the conversation.  This slight motion, however, drew attention to myself.  Jose made a mention, not a blame, that I was partially the reason.  Emma objected, trying to stand up for me.  Solemnly I agreed with him.  "No, it is my fault.  I'm sorry," and I got up and walked away. I was responsible for ruining the life of the person I cared about.  I felt such guilt, and yet I could do nothing.  It was not a choice to feel for him.  But if I'd kept my feelings to myself, let go after the first rejection, at least he could be happy.