(10/08/99)["Rejecting a friendly truth."] I am ill and lying on a couch with my wheelchair next to it. A good looking man comes in and sits in my wheelchair. I am attempting to straighten out some books and writing projects piled up on the couch all around me. He wants to help. He is attracted to me and living. I am annoyed with him for sitting in my wheelchair and for wanting to help. I can do this myself. Was my feelings. He smiles and patiently waits. That annoys me even more. I am abrupt and upset with him and also attracted and wanting some help. He will remain until I finally figure it out and let him in.