I was getting married but it was too soon - too soon. I guess I may have felt as though I was ready before but now that it was the day of the wedding I knew I wasn't. The event was informal and had been loosely and casually put together last minute which I was regretting already. I was looking at a newspaper that showed full spreads on new brides - all of whom I knew - Jackie, Deirdre, others. All of their weddings seemed pretty glamerous. I had forgotton to invite Dan and called him last minute and he couldn't come. I was getting upset for many reasons. For one - I couldn't for the life of me remember my fiances name. Apparently he was called Mark - but even that didn't ring a bell for me as to who he was as a person. Everyone was fussing over me - giving me gifts (a present wrapped like a cat from Tracy) and all I could think of was that I didn't know my future husband I left the scene to be alone and try to rack my brain - but nothing. I was sobbing and slightly hysterical. Mom joined me and I got up the courage to ask her, "Who is it that I'm marrying?". She told me and I don't think she knew him very well either - the same with everyone else. This was all too soon - to soon. I hated my wedding dress. I should have thought it out more and picked a nicer one but instead my dress was something I had from Thailand - from a long time ago and it was tacky - really lacey (and I wore black underneath) and the collar was high. Some of the lace was coming unstiched. For some reason I was also wearing a wig which I partially covered with a small veil/het. It was UGLY and I was upset even more. I would take my head stuff off and smooth down my own hair and clip it with a barrette but it also didn't look like me. Mom and Dad were talking about Mark and saying how dedicated I was going to have to be as the wife of a sports doctor in England...always having to go pick him up at the hospital. Mom also added how it would be best anyway if I drove since Mark was a wreckless show-off driver who always bragged about near-death crashes.  I was also upset because we were going to have to perform the ceremony twice since Jessica had to leave at 3:00 because of school and Julia couldn't come until the evening. I asked if this was really necesary and Julia said that she was actually too busy to come anyway so I might as well get on with it. [Tracy = neighbor; Jackie = girl at my highschool; Deirdre = friend from gradeschool]