(09/26/99)["Practicing the blues harp."] I am organizing things at a desk. I look in a drawer for my blues harp. I want to learn how to play it. I find many new black plastic ones that are real cheap. I pull them out. I am apparently redoing a list on a typewriter. I then find my old metal harp, without its cover, all banged up. But the sound is still good. I decide to practice on that one. I feel overwhelmed by the amount of things I would have to learn to be good at this. Mouth position, hand position and how to breath, but decide not to worry about it and just play it. I am walking now outdoors and I am a beautiful teenage girl. I am wearing a very sophisticated tailored navy blue suit, with white trim and look very good and professional. I sit down on a bench and play the harp, improving as I play. My eyes are closed as I concentrate on the music which keeps getting better. A crowd gathers around me of appreciative people, many young men, who are attracted to me. I suddenly open my eyes and am startled to find this crowd. I walk away looking for wilderness where nobody is to be able to play uninterrupted. I find a tree in the woods and sit there playing beautiful blues harp music. Later I go home. I am looking forward to telling my "father" a sort of Clint Eastwood kind of guy, being home and telling him all about my day. A young man named Perry from school is very attracted to me but I don't seem to notice him or anyone for that matter. I begin to tell my "father" about the day but he interrupts looking at the dining table. I hurriedly go there with a sponge to clean up any mess that might annoy him. He comes over and I try to continue telling him my day. He points to this spot or that and soon the whole energy is finding spots of dried food on the table and scrubbing at them to wash them off. I am frustrated. I wipe off spilled sugar onto the floor. Now I the dreamer is looking at the young teen girl as her father might see her. Her prim and sophisticated suit is unbuttoned at the top and the bra is revealed. She looks sexy. This upsets the father. Then the phone rings and a woman, sort of a housekeeper, answers and calls the girl to the phone. "Its for you." She says. The girl is very surprised. No one calls her. It is Perry on the phone to ask her out for a date. The father is upset and concerned about his daughters growing up into a woman. After the call, the housekeeper (now me) watches as the two try to continue their conversation. The father looks over to me with a questioning look and I shake my head no. He has said or done the wrong thing. Then I say to him, here I'll talk with her and you watch. Now the teen girl is a TV set on the table. I look at it and as she speaks, I listen sympathetically, sometimes paraphrasing her feelings. Especially in the places where the father would lose it and lecture or be negative. He is starting to catch on.