(01/14/98)["Is it OK to be lovers?"]  Ricardo and I are seated side by side in a vehicle. I am where the drivers seat is and he is on my right. He is much younger than me. He leans over to kiss my belly. He nuzzles  a little roll of fat on my side. I feel awkward and uncomfortable. I wonder if this will be OK with his parents. I tell him we should ask his parents permission. His father shrugs and says I guess it's all right. His mother says no way. This is wrong. I don't approve. Ricardo still wants us to make love. He brings me a small metal boat and holds it steady in a pond. I start to get in it. We are going to float around on the pond to be alone. But the boat is unstable and Ricardo is rocking it around. So water is splashing in. I hesitate, not wanting to get in and sink. So he brings a small kayak. It is also unsteady. Now he is walking around in the shallow pond, away from me. I walk toward him, wading. I look down into the water and I see something swimming by. I look more closely and see that it is a woman who is either sleeping or stoned on drugs. She is smiling. Another young woman is floating with her, in the same condition. I am concerned for them. What if they are so unconscious that they drown. I keep walking toward Ricardo, but I keep looking back at the women, concerned. I see another set of women like that. Now I am carefully walking over a fallen tree trunk, very old and gnarled. It  is ancient and beautiful. There are currents and eddies and odd mysterious things in this pond and Ricardo seems to keep disappearing further away as I observe what is around me.