Charla is lying on a bed, she's perhaps been overstimulated, maybe by me, or maybe by Ellie. She (Charla) suddenly goes into a grand mal seizure. She vomits and starts to choke on it. I feel horror. I am waiting passively for Ellie to do CPR. I want Ellie to do it and am aware that I should do it, but it would be messy and stinky, so I don't. Then Charla dies. I am grief-stricken and sob and feel terrible guilt for not taking action quickly, which could have saved her life. It's a terrible nightmare.