I am in an audience watching the Tuesday rehearsal of the classic Star Trek and Captain Kirk is doing badly. He is high on something and forgetting his                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   lines and not being at his best. I am disappointed because I really like him. Meanwhile a fat, tall older man, a chicken farmer grandpa, likes me and is making advances. I think, "Why is it that the ones I want are flawed and I don't want the ones that want me?" I get up to leave. I am a younger, virginal woman from a foreign country, maybe India. Kirk follows me and he wants to make love, but that is against the mores of my country. Why should I give up something valuable for this man? I am walking and I see a pond or large fountain. It is raining torrentially on the pond and on my van, which is parked by it with the doors open. I wonder if the interior of the van will be ruined, but somehow it's OK because this rain seems so special and intense and beautiful. I am enthralled by it. Another man comes up to me and wants me to walk in the rain with him, and join the line of people wading in the pond near the edge. I choose not to, even though it has a strong pull on me to abandon myself to the feeling. I go on and Kirk still follows. He wants to kiss me and is flirting and he's now in a cardboard box, a long narrow one, and I decide to give in to him. I pull him out of the box and into my arms and we kiss. I have risked all my values and respect. He then laughs and goes on. He is shallow and is no longer interested in me. I feel betrayed.