I was laying in my bed with Julie. I realized that my room was disgustingly dirty and I couldn't believe I had brought her there. There were menstrual stains on my sheets and my vibrator with menstrual blood on it was in the bed. I threw the vibrator under the bed and apologized for the mess. Julie was laying on her stomach and she didn't seem to mind too much that everything was so dirty. I could feel her soul in a kind of bewildered laughter though she mad no audible sound. I was dripping in sweat and I felt disgustingly dirty so I said, "I'm going to go..." She finished my sentence and said, "...take a shower?" I said "Yeah." I was in the bathroom pulling my tampon out and dropping it in the toilet as the door opened and she came in. I looked at her thinking, "Did you have to come in just then?" She shrugged her shoulders. I got in the shower and she followed me in. I felt uncomfortable. I just wanted to wash myself and be clean. I wasn't in the mood for a shared sensual shower experience. I wanted to wash the crusty, dried-up blood from my thighs and crotch but I was embarrassed to touch myself in front of her so I grabbed the bar of soap and ran it over her body. I felt awkward because at the moment my heart wasn't in it. She got out of the shower and I saw two bloody tampons laying on the shower floor. I was embarrassed and disgusted.