I am in bed with Jennifer H. I sleep like I did with Howard, always facing away from him because I didn't want to be close, because then he'd want sex. She falls out of bed on the floor and twitches. I look over at her wondering if she is having an epileptic seizure. She gets back in bed. I had turned to sleep in that direction but when she got in bed again, I turned back to face away from her. I fell the same resistance and guardedness I felt with Howard, like he was going to pounce on me. Now we are out of bed. Jennifer is upset and wants to talk about our relationship. I do not want to talk about it. I avoid her. We are actually in a sort of camp ground area, even though the bed is a regular double bed. Charla is there now. She and I are talking in a friendly way. Jennifer finally bursts out with the question about what is our relationship. I say I don't want to talk about it. She says you won't even look at me. I say I'm sorry. I can't do it. That's the way I am. I have trouble looking at people. It's me, not you. She is very sad. I repeat that I am sorry if I hurt her, but I just don't want a relationship with her. I say Charla is really the only person I've ever had a real emotionally good relationship with. Jennifer sadly leaves.