The Crazy Apartment  I'm walking down a street from a place by Super America in Woodland. I walk down a couple blocks, go over two blocks, then walk back a few blocks. I end up near the Super America where I began. There is an apartment building attached or next to the back of Super America, but I have walked six blocks to get there, when I could have taken 50 steps and been where I wanted to go. I go into the apartment building where I live. My friend Sam Crimson is in the elevator, and he holds the door for me as I get in. We go up to the first floor. He gets out and goes to see or do something with our friend Jimmy Youngman. There are many buttons in the elevator. Some of the buttons have the same number on them: there are two rows of buttons for the numbers one through five. I'm going to apartment 18. I hold the door open on the first floor. Four or five young women enter the elevator. Sam enters too. We go up to the third floor where apartment 18 is. I get out, and two of the women follow me. One of them seems to have a crush on me. I try to fend her off by showing her I'm not really interested in her. I tell her I'm probably going out to a bar tonight, and so I can't spend time with her. I start to unlock the door, and two people in the apartment start shouting and moving around: they were having sex. I go and sit by a counter top-like place and talk to the two women while I wait for the two people inside the apartment to get decent. I meet the second woman, who is Asian. The landlord comes out of the apartment. He is old and has white hair. He's wearing a white button-down shirt with a green cardigan sweater over it. My friend Melanie McDyss comes out of the apartment with a shorter Asian man, who is her boyfriend. She is wearing boxer shorts and a t-shirt. She and her boyfriend were having sex. She is aloof, and wanders in and out of the doorway, not really sure of what she's doing. The landlord takes a cat and puts it on the couch, which is in the large, wide hallway that all the apartment doors branch out from. He puts the cat on a bunch of toilet paper that stretches to the door of apartment 18. He wants the cat to urinate on the toilet paper on the couch. He thinks the toilet paper will soak up the urine. He is on the phone at the same time he does this, and he says that this urination is a positive thing, whereas defecation would be negative. The landlord is old and senile. He pushes or shoves one of the men around. The man pushes his back, but he is too senile to notice this. I'm inside the apartment. There is a Christmas tree and an orange road construction sawhorse there. There is a note that says the landlord wants to meet with us at two or two-thirty this afternoon. The other three men that live in the apartment have written on the note messages to the rest of us about what they're doing and how the landlord's meeting will fit into their schedule. I haven't written anything, and didn't know about the meeting: I just got home. I go into my room, which has a large bed. The bathroom door adjacent to my room is closed. The door to the other bathroom out in the main room is also closed. I think Melanie and her boyfriend are taking a shower. There is a clock on the wall with a beer logo on it.