Toilet Paper Shotguns  I'm walking down Park Avenue in Oak Valley to the Dirty River with my housemate Stephen Ramos, and maybe his father Franco, to shoot shotguns. I see two Brimson Geology vans in the parking lot of the Hill Lodge. My stepbrother Nan Lawson is with us. He wants and needs to learn how to shoot a shotgun. I show Nan a shotgun, and point out the safety and the pumping mechanism. In one of the guns there is a compartment filled with several rolls of toilet paper. This chamber, once compressed, seems to be the force that propels the bullet. I help Stephen compress his chamber: we squeeze down the sides until it seems to latch. When the compartment is closed there is a piece of paper on it with the signatures of Faye and Glenn Klump, my high school friend's mother and step-father's, on the paper. We all load and shoot shotguns. Stephen and Nan go first. I shoot a gun with a score that has been removed from the top and attached below the trigger. Stephen sees a police car at the intersection of 3rd Street and Home Avenue and points it out to me. I move quickly to try to fire two shots before the police officer gets there, so we can pack up and be gone and not get into trouble. My ex-girlfriend Jackie Hunter is standing on the road facing me. I am on the south side of the road that runs by the river. I try to be cool and slick and fire two shots effortlessly in front of her, but there is a toilet paper tube stuck in the gun, and when I go to pump the gun it jams. I take the tube out quickly and fire two shots over Jackie's head, which is dangerous. I wasn't thinking when I fired those shots. We pack up quickly. The shotguns didn't seem to be very loud or have that much power. The police car drives by and we see that it's not actually a police officer. I know there is a softball game tonight, and my knees are sore. I go into a room. As I go to the door there is a trench dug in the dirt on my left side. In the room there is a black and white drawing on the wall. The drawing looks very Christ-like, and it may be of my dad. My dad and sister Ramona are in the room with me. I know that my brother's friend Mryle Madden's wedding took place next door to this room. There are many boxes of wine and beer on a pallet. My dad asks me about going to liquor stores, and uses the word "noctus" or "nuktos" or something. I say I go to Big Red's Liquor. Then he asks me about a torpedo. I say that my friend Kevin Simpson uses them for fishing. My dad says no, a torpedo is a drink of bourbon that one swirls around. French fries are cooking in the oven.