Private Eye parodied Sue Townsend ' s The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole , age 13 ¾ to write The Secret Diary of John Major , age 47 ¾ , in which Major was portrayed as naïve and childish , keeping lists of his enemies in a Rymans Notebook called his Bastards Book , and featuring my wife Norman and Mr Dr Mawhinney as recurring character s .