[Spoken Intro Stephan Jenkins] It was an argument with an exgirlfriend and I said something about like, Truest love. She said, Youre mistaken. My truest love was with a multiple, adjustable shower head. I know you follow me but, like, Im drunk. Ima sing this damn song right now. Why Cant You Be? [Verse 1 Stephan Jenkins] Are you frightened by the weight you possess or Is this life just weightlessness? And smoggy twilight in LA I cant think of one real thing to say And Robbie Williams is walking in the canyons She forgets that we were friends I guess it all depends on your mood Why cant these meds be any damn good? [Chorus Stephan Jenkins] And she said, Why cant you be Like my water pink shower massager? A sweet reliable machine And to tell the truth I dont feel less alone My water massagers the purest love Ive ever known Why cant you be Like when I was thirteen? [Verse 2 Stephan Jenkins] Well, why cant you be Like an art house foreign movie? Frank and sexy, red balloons and ennui And aloof to me, yeah Why cant you be A little more of a mystery? [Chorus Stephan Jenkins] Why cant you be The part of me thats missing? Instead of leaving me for some other Say were perfect for each other And I know we wont spend this life alone [Verse 3 Stephan Jenkins] Why cant you be Like an outsourced government contract? Im a fat cat getting away with anything Kicking some secret special powers Illumination rounds in showers Cause youre tearing your hair out While we can have a bed of flowers And I said Why cant you be Like the chicks out on the road? Some girls are happy just to see me Cause you got moxie and a broken nose You take em away from this prose Sometimes a blowjobs not enough Why cant you play A little less rough? [Chorus Stephan Jenkins] Why cant you be The part of me thats missing? Instead of leaving me for some other Say were perfect for each other And I know we wont go spend our lives alone [Bridge Stephan Jenkins] Can we Just leave it be? We could live Our lives separately Could you forget What happens to you And you and me? When were dead Well be dead Well have eternity And I will spend it all Missing you Missing you and me So while Im alive I will always be [Verse 4 Stephan Jenkins] Why cant you be Someone looking deeper into me? Like JD Salinger Why do I challenge her In all these surface ways That you displease? Why cant you be A little more at ease? Why cant you be Like a hand rolled cigarette Im not joking This masochistic selfpity of smoking And this city ditty I keep provoking you to leave me [Chorus Stephan Jenkins] She said, Why cant you be Like a candle I can snuff? Youre still a diamond in the rough And I swear to God Ive had enough How can I call your bluff?
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