Well it was midnight cold and rainy In the sleepy town of Fairburn population small An angry man stood out on Main Street Shiverin in his coat sleeves by the City Hall wall Thumbin every car thats passed him in for an hour But they wouldnt look at him at all So he yelled damn you friends and neighbors you wont give me a ride My feet are sore from walking and Im froze to my inside Lord a man could catch his death of cold or a severe case of flu Thanks to friends and neighbors like you Well he come storming into my restaurant Dripping water soakin wet in a freezing cold I poured him a hot black cup of coffee took his coat off cussing mad And heres a tale that he told Said I picked up a young hitchhiker Took my billfold and my car and let me off down the road Well I must have walked for hours to get here Went to see your friendly sheriff in my desperation He just sit there and picked his teeth Laughed a little when I told him of my situation And when I finished he leaned back and belched Said let me see some identification You might also likeCause he said damn you friends and neighbors seems like every Saturday night I get an earful of this same old bull cause some drunk gets off half tight Every weekends the same old story dont get home till one or two Thanks to friends and neighbors like you Well I called your sheriff a dirty name Then was thrown out through his front door by a big deputy I hit that sidewalk cussin shook my fist back in his face Said you cant do this to me Cause Im a circuit judge for Monroe sheriff And you gonna pay for all this indignity Well Ive seen some angry people But I never seen a man as mad as that fellow was He said I never did like Fairburn I hate the rain I hate hitchhikers And Im sick of your local fuss And if I ever saw a town that needs another sheriff This is one town that does And he yelled damn these friends and neighbors as he grabbed his coat to leave Well this night I spent in Fairburn just too funny to believe Lord I could write a book of jokes about what Ive been through In this town of friends and neighbors like you
fairburn, neighbor, sheriff, hitchhiker, friend