Bruce Campbell is the finest man to grace a silver screen All the other actors just degrade his noble scenes The Oscars should award him for his wondrous career Hold a town parade for him with each movie premiere Bruce Campbell! Bruce Campbell! Were gonna be best friends! Gonna come to your house and watch Hercules From season one till the end Ill hand you everything I own And youll sign it all for me! Then well start rehearsing for Cave Alien 3 Bruce Lorne Campbell should be offered every lead! Imagine him as SpiderMan, a finer choice indeed Casablanca couldve been improved if Campbell wouldve said, Heres looking at you...you primitive screwhead! Bruce Campbell! Bruce Campbell! Dert dert da dert dert dert Gonna come to your house And put Xena and not sleep until its done I got the whole boxset for Briscoe County, too I love you and to prove its true Im gonna play a kazoo Bruce Ash Campbell is a truly stellar man He bravely fought the Deadites But a chainsaw took his hand Coincidentally, I have one I barely ever use Ill saw it off and ship it to the charming, handsome Bruce Bruce Campbell! Bruce Campbell! I need the measurements for your chin! Gonna make me a jawbone implant And Im gonna be your twin Then Ill get me a tattoo of your face And put it right on my....face Then well fly into outer space and.... Hey Bruce, where are you going? Bruce Campbell gonna find you! You cant hide from me! I found your house on Google Maps And just watched you go pee! When I find you, Im gonna clone you Take your DNA against your will Ill make 8,000 Bruce Campbells To build a Bruce Campbellville BruceCampbellville! Bruce!
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