Things That Make You Go... I was at a club, sittin with my friends Watchin all the girls as they walked on through She came from behind put her hands on my eyes In a very soft voice, she said guess who I didnt have a clue, didnt recognize the voice Her fingers seemed wrinkled so I did my only choice I turned around slow and opened my eyes And nothing could have ever prepared my for the surprise She said Im a walking sex machine But the ho was no younger than 73 Flabby grandma breasts hanging down to her waist Cellulite flappin all over the place Sportin spandex shorts bright pink and green She sat on my lap and broke my knee She breathed in my face and my lunch came up Shes sickening Things That Make You Go... Heres what I ordered, started the horror In some restaurant south of the border Chicken and rice with a little bit of spice They made it sound good but it looked like wood Cut into the chicken, thought it was fried Maggotts came out and my appetite died The U.F.O.s were served in sets Those are Undigestible Frying Objects The rice was plastic flavored with bugs Soda was nothing but carbonated blood I thought maybe the salad would be safe But the skunk cabbage gave it a terrible taste And the chocolate pudding, I dont know how made it I know what it looked like, I dont wanna say it The food tasted better as it came back up Things That Make You Go... Me and a friend went out to see a film A good horror flick with a lot of kills All night horror man I love that stuff But I didnt know my friend would take it so rough Seven bucks some soda and food I was in a pure intense gore mood The movie started, man I couldnt wait People were dying left and right it was great Time went by and the body count grew My friend just didnt know what to do My boy kept telling me, Yo, I feel sick I better get out of this theater quick I said calm down, I know youll be fine So I was wrong, I couldnt read his mind The look on his face said vomit was near He said I never should have watched... Things That Make You Go... Hey ladies, have you ever seen a guy Whos ugly as sin and you dont know why But he kisses your lips and he says hey toots And now you feel as bad as he looks And then hes there with zits on his face So many in fact that skin is a waste He talks to you like theres nothing wrong But then he pops em and the pus flies long Mysterious smells just materialize Your lungs implode and theres tears in your eyes It aint no use for you to plug your nose I wonder who farted when the elevator closed Dressed to express but he looks like a geek And he hasnt showered in three or four weeks You come home late and throw up in the sink Things That Make You Go...
horror, said, rice, undigestible, came