[Verse 1] Those crazy Christians, I was gonna sleep in today But the church bells woke me up and theyre a half a mile away Those crazy Christians, dressed up driving down my street Get their weekly dose of guilt before they head to Applebees [Verse 2] They pray before they eat and they pray before they snore They pray before a football game and every time they score Every untimely passing, every dear departed soul Is just another good excuse to bake a casserole [Verse 3] Those crazy Christians, go and jump on some airplane And fly to Africa or Haiti, risk their lives in Jesus name No, they aint the late night party kind They curse the devils whiskey while they drink the Saviors wine [Verse 4] A famous TV preacher has a big affair and then One tearful confession and hes born again again Someone yells hallelujah and they shout and clap and sing Its like they cant wait to forgive someone for just about anything Those crazy Christians [Verse 5] Instead of being outside on this sunny afternoon Theyre by the bedside of a stranger in a cold hospital room And every now and then they meet a poor lost soul like me Whos not quite sure just who or what or how he ought to be They march him down the aisle and then the next thing that you know They dunk him in the water and here comes another one of those crazy Christians [Verse 6] They look to heaven their whole life And I think what if theyre wrong but what if theyre right You know its funny, much as Im baffled by it all If I ever really needed help, well you know who Id call Is those crazy Christians
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