I got a little history song for ya Ya ready? Youre gonna love this one This is a story you need to hear You can hear it while youre drinking your fifteenth beer Its a woeful tale of intrigue and romance Its a story of how the Wild West grew And I swear every word is partly true This ones about me and the hole that was in my pants Everybody laughed when I walked to and fro Just why they were laughing I never did know Til one day I passed a mirror just by chance I seen my reflection in the looking glass And to my great surprise just below my ass Was a big ole ripped out gaping hole in my pants Now if I had had a pair to spare Im sure I mightve found something different to wear But I happened to have just returned from a trip to France And I packed pretty light so there was nothing more I could do that day then try to ignore The fact that I had a big ole hole in my pants For a while things seemed to be going fine Til some joker made cracks and folks got in line And the joker was joined by a pack of sycophants They hooted and hollered and pointed and poked And it wasnt too long til I was sick of their jokes Their jokes on account of the hole in my pants Well I was pretty steamed and I put up my dukes I was ready to take on all of them kooks When out the corner my eye this girl gave me a glance To say she looked good barely hits the truth Coulda made a Lincoln lover out of John Wilkes Booth And best of all she had a hole in her pants You wanna hear more? Well then show me your drawers Not you! Well this girl and me got together you see And everyone around could tell that we Were tighter than Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance Folks she was my queen and I was her king And far from it being a negative thing It was mighty useful to have holes in our pants You know what I mean? Yeah I thought you did Well first then one, then two, then four, then eight Then everyone had holes in their pants it was great Shoulda seen it man, the whole town started to dance Now you probably figured out if you concentrated That thats how the wild west got populated And it all began with a hole in my pants Im just about finished and I mean right now sir With a song about the big hole in my big trousers Pants and holes and I feel like Im in a trance And the moral of the story, the moral of the song Is maybe wed all just get along A whooooole lot better if we all had holes in our pants You got dirty minds
pant, hole, moral, joker, big