[Verse 1] Backside melts into the sofa My world my TV and my food Besides listening to my belly gurgle There aint much else to do Yeah, I sweat a lot Pants fall down everytime I bend over My feet itch Yeah I married a scarecrow [Chorus] I hate you Talkin to myself Everybodys staring at me Im only bleedin [Verse 2] Someone taps me on the shoulder every 5 minutes No one speaks English anymore Would anybody tell me if I was getting stupider? [Chorus] I hate you Talkin to myself You dont feel it after awhile You take the beating [Verse 3] Im a swingin guy Throw a belt over the shower curtain rod And swing Toss me inside a hefty And put me in the ground [Verse 4] A drink needs me I dont I aint about to guzzle no tears So kiss my ass Newscasters, cockroaches, and desserts [Chorus] I hate you Talking to myself Everbodys staring at me Im only bleeding [Verse 5] Where are the kids? Maybe getting pregnant or on drugs or on welfare On top of the world on the honor roll on parole On the dodgers on the backs of milk cartons On stakes in the middle of cornfields On covers of future history books on old ladys mantles Walkin on water nailed on crosses I think its time I had a talk with my kids Ill just tell em what my daddy told me You aint never gonna amount to nothin
talkin, hate, newscaster, stupider, everbodys