Arnies Daddy said hed take him fishin If hed just dig the bait He said Get lost, Dad, Im watchin mud wrestling Go jump in the lake Why dont you take that neighbour girl? The one that favours our dog. His dad said Son, she might sink the boat She weighs more than our hog. And Arnie said Shes got a tackle box that youd kill for A ZebCo rod and reel She won the Junior Bass Masters Tourney And I just ate oatmeal And Im afraid I might hurl Daddy, please, please take the girl. Same limey boy, same large girl Eleven years with no date They finally married when they both realised Theyd get a big tax break One night at the Laundrymat Washin underwear A stranger pulled a watergun Arnie soiled another pair, Whoops. And whimpered You might also likeAint got no money, in my wallet Shes got the credit cards But theyre all run up over the limit Wont get you very far And though her hairs up in curls, and she looks like Milton Burle She aint wearin fake pearls Mister please, please, please take the girl Well she aint bad when she gets a couple of coats of that cold Cream on her, and a sack over her head A toothless Arnie, a whale of a woman Forty years down the tune One day they found him with a shotgun Bucknaked on the roof Doctors said Hes lost his mind Well have to take him away. No o o o! As they strapped that straight jacket on him Someone heard him say he babled out loud If youd lived with her, long as I have Youd be slap crazy too Shes the one thats really a psycho More than a few screws loose Shes nutty as a squirrel Doctor, please, please take the girl Get her outta here! Arnies Daddy said hed take him fishin If hed just dig the bait Is it Tim McGraw or John Anderson Im trying to imitate? Im sorry Tim!
arnie, please, arnies, hed, take