Sleepless nights, an endless daze, this depression a relentless phase Mind trapped in a twisted maze yet these bars free me from this cage Guilt and remorse cause youre a corpse but dwelling on it makes it worse Every time I close my eyes I see you fall to gravitys force Twisted visions playing out right behind my sockets Driving me insane, I try but cannot stop it Suicidal whispers, desperate to block it Full to the brim about to spill its not time to kick the bucket Out with this madness not me I swear I will not give in despite the many tears Life is too precious to waste, and even though you gave it up with haste I know you too well to say this was your chosen fate But these things we realize often too late Pills to take these memories away What will kill this pain and make it fade Some do it for the hell of it But if its not a choice do you think well of it Its not a lifestyle that I chose What holds me up also keeps me close To the knowledge that I cant turn back I wont stop it when fades away to black My teenage years were troubled, in and out the psych ward On different medications, and I could barely have my word Or say on what was happening, override the cyborg Had me feeling so cold and mechanical my lord The doctors prescribed the pills for my own good Drug pushers on the block or are they statesponsored I can hardly tell the difference man this is way too absurd Supposed to help me at least thats what they made sure I understood Bipolar what they labeled me, experienced dark dreams and ecstasy Mood swings up and down, the blessed curse of lunacy I see its a gift, it gave me creativity But its a burden on my health, when it starts to hinder me The worst is when family sees me and starts to get affected Knowing this dark selfhatred was what got my dad addicted So for his sake, thats a path that I just cant take This lifes a dream that fades away I pray I see him when I wake So one day I awoke To find a ray of sun Shining down on me I hear a voice say son This the day you waited for Your true life has begun My troubles fade away to black And not even one Remains to haunt me I feel the freedom of being care free Reunited with the ones we lost It is extraordinary So overcome how can this be A vision or a memory You shimmer in front of me Fade away back to reality Maybe just a mirage yet its one that gave me hope So even if I depend on drugs it is better than sliding down the slope Into hopelessness and worthlessness that is not my self So these feelings of inferiority I finally put them on the shelf Picture before you a blank and empty page The ink stains of your past, watch them slowly fade The pen is in your hand now anything might be Now turn your destiny into your memories
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