One two! If you ever hear a noise in the night Your body starts to sweat It shakes and shivers in fright You go and sleep with your mother She hates you guts She knows that you love her So she holds you tight All through the night in to the broad daylight And when she doesnt come home Youll have to sleep alone Then you wet your bed and I think thats sad For a girl of 19 its more than sad, its obscene! One Two! And your girlfriend sweet little 17 Shes got her layered hair and her flared jeans You know what that means, shes just a little queen She shares your London flat She thinks that Londons where its at Although it stinks and when it rains you wear your hat And your plum coloured PVC wet look maxi mac You tie your ginger hair back in a bun Youre the ugliest creature, under the sun! One Two! Go! One Two! And you think its about time that you died, and I agree So you decide on suicide You tried but you never quite carried it out You only wanted to die in order to show off And if you think youre gonna bleed all over me Youre even wronger than youd normally be And the only things you want to see are kitsch And the only thing you want to be is rich Your little pink uppointed nose begins to twitch I know you know youre just a little bitch! One Two!
two, london, little, wronger, uppointed