[Verse 1] Staring at my food but I can not eat it Laying in my bed but I am not sleeping Crying in my room and I keep it top secret Because people tell me they care but they do not mean it Im cut open, even though I am not bleeding My hearts broken, so Imma make it stop beating Someone runs in the room and screams Hes not breathing! Im rushed to the hospital to have a Doc treat it But he cannot beat it, theres no time at all Cause I just popped some pills with some Tylenol And 3 bottles of antidepressants, and Sambuca 40 ounces, got killed I didnt puke up anything Theres no use in pumping my stomach Cause Ill just do it again Im a lost cause, so fuck it Everyone with grudges towards me is gonna love this The smiles on their faces when my death goes public [Hook] Cause Im killing myself Taking matters to my own hands I cant picture myself as a grown man I dont wanna grow up I hate change and everythings just so rearranged My lifes nothing but a disaster And time keeps going by faster But in a second all that shit wont matter Fuck this Imma kill myself [Verse 2] I act happy But I wanna die, Im not gonna lie Thoughts of suicide keep crossing my mind on a regular basis Going crazy, cause Im going through bullshit on a regular basis Look me in the face, Im sick in my eyes Cause Im sick in the mind Ive been wishing to die ever since I was 9 This isnt a lie I dont bitch just to whine Or bullshit just to rhyme about it I dont cry just to spit Just to try to guilt trip Cause I could give two shits about your pity I aint trying to get everyone to feel bad for me Id rather dis everyone and make yall mad at me I aint a happy person and I aint that liked Not even by myself I know I aint that nice But people dont understand how much I hate my life Cause if they did theyd know how bad I want to take this knife and be [Hook] Killing myself Taking matters to my own hands I cant picture myself as a grown man I dont wanna grow up I hate change and everythings just so rearranged My lifes nothing but a disaster And time keeps going by faster But in a second all that shit wont matter Fuck this Imma kill myself [Verse 3] I quit, Im bailing, Im done I finally give up Im sick of failing, Im done trying to live up To the expectations everyone has set for me And trying to explain shit to myself Always questioning about my destination Fuck my destiny No more relationships My friends are all dead to me My head is aching, and I dont have any energy Im patiently waiting for the day that I can rest in peace And this medication is the reason that I dont get no sleep It aint worth taking So I just take some ecstasy Then hear my friends Youre an Etard fuck up. Maybe killing myself will Make you retards shut up! Cause I only do it once in a while At times when I forget how to fucking smile I hate being belittled when yall act like youre Looking out for me If you were looking out of me then I wouldnt about to be [Hook] Killing myself Taking matters to my own hands I cant picture myself as a grown man I dont wanna grow up I hate change and everythings just so rearranged My life is nothing but a disaster And time keeps going by faster But in a second all that shit wont matter Fuck this Imma kill myself [Verse 4] When the time comes Ill be crying then Ill have to get a hold of myself Call all my friends, and say goodbye to them Then get high and then call up all my friends again And say goodbye again And cry again Stop crying smile Find a pen, write down some last words Somebody will find them when Im in Heaven looking down on them Or who knows? The way shits been going maybe Hell, looking up on them But either way Im watching Im waiting their reaction Suddenly someone walks in Wait they aint laughing They read it and start crying They actually do care Im shocked, I cant believe theyre sad that I aint there They miss me Man what a horrible mistake I made And I cant take it back, its way to late If only I could relive my life Id remake this song Rewrite the hook and it would be like.. [Hook 2] Lifes shit But Im taking matters to my own hands I can picture myself as a grown man I wanna grow up, I can deal with change Even if everything gets rearranged Maybe my lifes a disaster And time keeps going by faster But now I can see all that shit dont matter Fuck that Imma live my life!
rearranged, matter, disaster, cry, faster