Ach, when I was young, a bachelor, the brightest eer seen Sure, my friends all said I looked so very miserable and mean Till at last I took unto myself a darlin wife, alas Everybody that I met said, Jack old boy, you musta been an ass I was like the man with the donkey Whenever he carried the donkey, it is wrong Whenever the donkey carried him, it is wrong It is the same with me, when I got married it was wrong Whenever I was singl it was wrong Everybody kept shoutin at me, What do you want a wif for? Yes, what do I want a wife for? Last night as I got into bed, there came a knock to our front window And I shouts, Whos there? Me Whos me? Watson, your fatherinlaw Tell her daughter her mothers very ill and wants to see her at once So, of course, up gets my wife, on goes her bonnet and shawl And off to see her poor dear mother Leavin me in care of the baby, just weaned And not a single soul in the house but myself The servant girl had left that day, far too big for her place Well, it began to roar, and I began to sing Oh, my darlin cheeker billy chum Wait until your mommy comes Wouldnt you like to suck your thumb? Was ever a man so born? But the more I kitchykitchied so And walked it up, down, to and fro And I give it everything, you know But the more the darlin roared Well, dear old Lord, what will I do? And I searched it all about For to find a box of matches, for the candle had gone out And I tripped over a pail that took all the bark off my shins And this is what I sung when I was rubbin my leg Oh, my darlin cheeker billy chum Wait until your mommy comes Wouldnt you like to suck your thumb? Was ever a man so born? But the more I kitchykitchied so And walked it up, down, to and fro And I give it everything, you know But the more the darlin roared Well, at last I found a lucifer, a solitary one Dear old Lord, to my surprise, when I first saw my son For his cheeks were of a beetroot red and the tears run down like rain And when I picked him up, he started out again Ya, ya, ya And this is what I sung when I shoved the bolster over his head Oh, my darlin cheeker billy chum Wait until your mommy comes Wouldnt you like to suck your thumb? Was ever a man so born? But the more I kitchykitchied so And walked it up, down, to and fro And I give it everything, you know But the more the darlin roared Well, I give him toys, and I give him food, and I give him everything And without my clothes I leapt about and I danced the highland fling Ah, but no, he wouldnt have it atall, he yelled and cried the more And when I give it up for lost, my wife came in the door His mother, my wife, and when he heard her, he was quiet as a mouse, the wretch She says, I hope the babys been good, and I says, Yes Here am I, for this last three hours, leapin up and down in this cold oilcloth And shoutin as if I was mad Oh, my darlin cheeker billy chum Wait until your mommy comes Wouldnt you like to suck your thumb? Was ever a man so born? But the more I kitchykitchied so And walked it up, down, to and fro And I give it everything, you know But the more the darlin roared
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