[HOST] Step right up We bring to you the finest entertainment And I am pleased to be your humble servant Accept our hospitality Indulge in abnormality Step right up Weve something here for everyones enjoyment I do this as a gift, not for employment A portrait of insanity Approach with your humanity... Come see our girls, crazy girls If youre willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride Those girls, crazy girls Theyre hot, theyre nuts, theyre suicidal! Tickets cheap, its a crime And theyre half price after four o clock, so toss us a dime To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time Come see the girls, girls, girls! Some of them are really quite attractive, as youll see And some are truly hideous, Im sure that youll agree While others still look rather quite a lot like you and me But you mustnt let them fool you Just one more rule You shouldnt look this one too long in the eye And that one, lets just keep walking by These aint no ordinary girls, and weve a steady supply So grab another cup of tea, and follow me To see the girls, crazy girls If youre willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride Those girls, crazy girls Theyre hot, theyre nuts, theyre suicidal! Tickets cheap, its a crime And theyre half price after four o clock, so toss us a dime To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time Come see the girls, girls, girls! Now, has anybody any clever questions for your guide? For a penny more, go on and ask We have nothing here to hide [The crowd shouts.] [HOST, spoken] Quiet down! You, sir [GENTLEMAN 1] If insanitys primarily a feminineish malady And no ones doubting that, for its a scientific fact Then according to the medics, have they faultier genetics? Are they born with this disease, or is it something they contract? [HOST] Its all to do with reproductive organs Which are naturally unstable in a dame You see, from lunar, we have lunacy and lunatic and loony And theyre always ovulating by the cycle of the moony! [GENTLEMAN 2, spoken] I have a question [HOST, spoken] Shoot! [GENTLEMAN 2] Has any patient ever been released? Would you send her home if her bizarre behavior were decreased? [HOST] For the good of our society, they oughtnt reproduce So while they may pretend propriety, well never let them loose! [INMATES] Come see the girls, crazy girls If youre willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride Those girls, crazy girls Theyre hot, theyre nuts, theyre suicidal! Tickets cheap, its a crime And theyre half price after four o clock, so toss us a dime To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time Come see the girls, girls, girls! [HOST, spoken] Some are born mad, some achieve madness, and some have madness thrust upon them! This is the real thing, my friends guaranteed, onehundred percent, authentic, mentallyill! Accept no imitations. For a little extra on the side, we can arrange for a slightly more intimate encounter, wink wink... For a tuppence, just a tuppence, a handful of pills to feed the inmates! Weve got pills for depression, obsession, aggression, possession, indiscretiontheres a bloody pill for everything nowadays! [GENTLEMAN 3] How big is a ladys brain? [HOST] Its really very, very small A simple thought is quite a strain [WOMAN] This seems just a bit inhumane [HOST] Thats just a simple little shock It doesnt cause her any pain You see, theyre really more like animals than people Which has been proven havent any souls at all The only bits that arent inferior are bosom and posterior And these are only useful in a seedy music hall They wont bite Well, they might I say, this one does look hungry tonight So get your picture with an inmate But be sure shes locked up tight Theyre practically wild, sir Protect your child, sir They dont recall the taste of freedom Theyre just happy if we feed them So point and laugh, it isnt bad They oughtnt mind because theyre mad If you havent got a dime, toss us your pearls [HOST INMATES] Youre welcome to enjoy our girls, crazy girls If youre willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride Those girls, crazy girls Were hot! Theyre hot!, were nuts! Theyre nuts!, were suicidal! Tickets cheap, its a crime And theyre half price after four o clock, so toss us a dime To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time [HOST] Ive got a lot more words to say But I just cant make them rhyme So ladies, let this be a lesson to you Keep your hair uncut Your corsets tight, your morals high Your knitting neat, your yappers shut This is what comes of overeducating Mentally overstimulating Too much serious conversating Organized religionhating Sinful, unwed copulating Marriage without procreating Girlongirl caught lesbiating She was caught while masturbating Male mindmanipulating Chronically hallucinating Certainly, theres no debating Some we just find fascinating Womens rightsfacilitating Independent thoughtcreating She just may be complicating Get your money out! Were waiting To see those Girls! Girls! Girls!
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