[Intro Judy Collins] Violent hashsmokers shook a chocolate machine Involved in an eating scene [Travie McCoy] Go ahead and pop your Pringles to this one All the anorexic chicks please remain seated for the duration of this song Youre hazardous [Verse 1] My insecuritys got me tugging at my shirt when the wind picks up By the way, you gonna eat that? Im just a fat bastard thatd love to take the load off your plate Im gaining weight, but Ill blame it on metabolism Fuck calories! My weekly salarys enough to keep my eating habit at stand still And my stomachs like a landfill with a never ending maximum capacity Dont get mad at me when I pick my nose, touching food with the same finger Im just waiting for that obese opera singer to hit the right note Them stuffing Zingers and Twinkies up in my bubble coat Croak this if you wanna Im blazing Ls with little Keebler elves that love to share their cookie creations And they dont struggle with patience, they just keep on working happily And when I eat all they shit, they dont get mad at me But when I start to vomit chocolate chips, they sit and laugh at me Thats when I stomp em like roaches committing blasphemy All in all, its all in fun All good, burger bun With three quarter pound patties, fatty acid, and a basket fries These wise guys at the drivethrough got audacity asking me if I want my shit super sized Ah, for now Im like [Hook] Wont somebody feed me please Before Im forced to eat all of these MCs On a plate, with a steak and macaroni and cheese And a cold glass of Kdouble OL Aid? Come on! [Verse 2] So now, Im awol from fat camp I got caught selling KitKats This kid ratted me out for a sandwich eat it, you little bitch! Now, Im flying coach eating chicken wings With a Tom Green Freddy Got Fingered type approach to keep the balance And as far as I recall, Ive been a glutton With a major malfunction that cause my jaw to always gnaw something Tell the nurse to bring the Burger King, urgently, to Room 315 And hurry up, its an emergency Diets to me are kinda funny when you find yourself hungry cause health foods consuming all your money Didnt listen when your conscience told you Eat the bacon! Now youre working treadmills till your feet are stankin This is for the self righteous vegans that always find something smart to say when they see my ass eating I got cannibal traits, every animal get ate Ill be down under with the Crocodile Hunter Gday mate! We grillin alligator steaks, trading plates with Aborigines that look at us funny Like Damn money, whered you get these? My plate is empty, so its like, Back to the States! To play TV dinner tag with younger hoes till my hunger grows Then switch to a whole other dish Im talking like fried monkey legs [?] to asparagus cheese Come on, really man? [Hook] [Verse 3] And all I eat is meat, chocolate milk, and dope beats Fuck ripe vegetables, fresh fruit, and whole wheat Im from the new school, my household smells like mildew From Chinese takeout containers for real dude An academic underachiever, I joined the Breakfast Club and ate my way to tenth grade And got an A in lunch, which in turn made me a firm believer That my only true love is girls, graffiti, music, and Nestl Crunch Cause while other kids was in class stressing they lessons I was back in the lunch line begging for seconds Flirting with the cashier, remember me from last year? Boy your hair looks nice today, do you think I could get an extra Tootsie roll? Mission accomplished, Operation Hoodwinked successful Now back to taunting fat chicks with tongue rings And Ill tell you one thing, as long as Im alive Ima live ravenous until the day God himself says its hazardous Kill the pacifists, and make the pupu platter That consists of crying bitches dipped in boohoo batter Lets pause for applause cause this kid is too much Until my tummys full, I aint giving two fucks Tell the labels they can keep they silly cash advance Just give me an 86 Renault and a lifetime supply of food stamps [Hook]
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