My phone rang, I converse with the busy signal Why cant they let me die in pieces? I dont want any more food or condolences, let my people go Burn off this useless flesh and make meals of my pestilence Lessons are my tournaquets Maybe Ive seen too much and not had enough Either way, this is my last entry forever Please dont let my children read this I was meditating when I wrote this The first time by interrupted by my screaming walls Hard to concentrate in my 7 x 12 cell Everyone watching my every move Even with these shrouds, I feel naked The windows talk to me and tell me that I ought to leave Only one way out the door, its too risky Someone might not see me, be careful We used to paint, the canvas made me feel alive Oh how they marveled at the spectacle I made of myself I made it for them, but it was really my communication to conjure up through Forever immortalized, carbon dioxide chokes me And I fear no man but my shadow There are a lot of things Ive learned not to say out loud If my parents were alive, theyd still be proud Sometimes I imagine myself as a loss The leftover remains of a castaway god If Im homeless, theres no Earth Someday Ill be famous, and you can put that on my birth My word is worth the demons that raped my being Childhood didnt happen I was made as this, my walking prison Guarded by my life on a limb, mood swings Enjoying my whim, take it for what it seems and much more Must find maker, how am I and who did I? And how did I wake up on this bench covered in mud? Taking a shower wont aleve my stress I cant even lift my brush to paint my longawaited goodbye Yet Im feeling optimistic, relatively This is my testimony and it tests the past miserably Why do I keep dying in public places? The medication should take two hours to take affect But last time, I was killed eating my last meal Its embarassing and I die inside This is my favorite rock I come here to think about all the things that make me This is my favorite poem I wrote this before I died last time These are my favorite friends They dont talk much and probably arent even listening This is my favorite place So I hope that I dont last here too long The other night, I was doing my everyday things Trying to find a girl to take to my apartment Shes beautiful and clearly cares for me She likes my work, and wants to understand what fuels my art We lay sidebyside Happy knowing that there was only thirty minutes left of this to endure She spoke typical things and gave of herself freely I started freaking out as I convulsed during oral sex Concerned for me, she held me And I laugh at those tears, for a while The next day, I was still dead and she had joined me How honest I recall of how she gave of herself freely As I drank my orange juice, I began to study all of her beauty We danced and made love for hours Talked about important things and how our children would grow up and die also And how futile it was until we finally fell in love Ill never be alone again and she will never leave me Ive forgotten why I write these things down Even as I write this Im realizing how useless it is to put ideas to words Water to wine, stupidity and valor The streetlights I pray to and the gutters I fish in My wife is no longer good at sex, her body doesnt speak to me And Im getting sick of her attitude Theres other fish in the sea And I havent stopped breathing for three days I hope everythings alright Today I downed ninety milligrams After twenty i could feel the head rush I raced to my gallery roof Gazing at the beauty that we always take for granted Its my opening night Spinning everyone will be there whos anyone To bear witness to my newest, latest, and greatest work Im a comet, human cannonball, swandive Never has the air been so clean I inhale then exhale and become one My end in the sidewalk A vivid display of 170 pounds of blood, sweat and tears Critique away But my greatest work is in the pavement I made it for you This is my favorite performance and i hope nobody ever bites it This is what Ive been working up to all along, finally alone at last This is my favorite person, and she will always be with me in spirit These are my favorite words, i hope i dont have anything left to say...
favorite, last, made, freely, thing