a parody of Eric B. Rakims song Move the Crowd Standing in my bedroom suddenly I had this Feeling like I ate an anvil and had to pass it So I just cant stand around So I start running and the faster I run the harder it pounds I break down the bathroom door, drop my drawers to the floor Was pushing so hard that my teeth were sore The veins are bulging out of my head And Im thinking out loud to myself and I said How can I move my bowels? First of all, I better get more paper towels Its the distruction of my bathroom Im constipated, a disaster So I start poppin ExLax like MMs I put the dog outside and warned all my friends Is this the most that I can eat? Cause if not, I may have to wait another week But dont make me wait too long cause its been at least a month Since I was last on the john So I open the lid and grumble and growl Cause I got to move my bowels Imagine me with a leak like the Exxon Valdeez Its the smell thats making me wheeze A garden hose doesnt have this much power Im splashing so much it sounds like Im in the shower My lower intestines, they growl like a jaguar Everything inside falls out like Niagara Polluting the air is so much fun Now Im on the john, the neighborhood is on the run For those that know me I often blow their mind Because they know I go for days at a time Ive seen magicians who can pull hankerchiefs out their hand But can they pull out toilet paper like I can? Its an incredible size, doesnt fit through my thighs And its burning my eyes and attracting the flies But Ima keep going till the EPA calls out My butt producing lots of nuclear fallout With odor itself theres nothing I cant melt For miles around the vibrations are felt This is dangerous stuff its not a bluff its been proven Indeed I think I need to make my bowels keep moving
bowel, growl, bathroom, hankerchiefs, valdeez