[verse 1] Keep getting older and hairier On my neck, back and derriere But not atop the pate Dear DNA, lets negotiate! Ill trade the fading vision, you could have that back Plus this 30yearoldman bellys kinda wack My hearing is nearing deafness and I wheeze Yo, please save me from the wrist hurt disease! Its infeasible that these, a full list of ailments Should do anything but accrue. Ill fail ten Times out of ten to age in reverse like Mork Is there anything sadder than a dork For whom the new hotness is not just inaccessible Its grumbled against? You kids, reduce your decibels! Dont make me come over there and shake my cane Its that rapper from the AARP and hes insane! [Hook] This old man, he rhymed once He put up some valiant fronts With a wickwack bitter lack of youthfulness charm This old man kept rhyming on [verse 2] Joints creaking while I squeak around the stage Hella grandmothers telling me I ought to act my age Deranged already, I dont got no brain medicine If we were running out of food on a boat, Id get jettisoned Or eaten. Im unsweetened Dont tell me that I got the shortest straw Im not a cretin Just a little senile and gassy and slow But I bet Im very salty! And I could still row Lets gobble on that infant. Infants are useless also very soft, which is good, cause Im toothless Come on kids, you want to get rescued or what? Dont mumble all amongst yourselves. Speak up! I lost my earhorn the other day on the bus. You would think by the way you whippersnappers make a fuss That I said something crazy, profound or obscene Wait, whered the ocean go? Where have you taken me? [Hook] This old man, he rhymed twice He found this would not suffice With a wickwack bitter lack of youthfulness vim This old man was dour and grim [verse 3] Now Frontalots shopping for the top of the hill Should have bought a burial plot soon as I got ill But I foolishly thought that I could put it off Now Im ghoulishly fraught with a [cough cough cough] Soft in the head, hard in the disposition Howd I earn this intractable attrition Of the vigor that I figured would be mine for life? Is there no upside? Well, the rhymes are rife! Every year Im alive, add to my vocabulary Going to do it till Im staring at the ceiling in the mortuary Plus Im probably wise by now And could do all the things old people talk about Like count pills argue bills at diners Get a little tiny funky car and be a Shriner Go to the haberdasher so I could look dapper Get stroke and forget Im too old to be a rapper [Hook] This old man, he rhymed thrice He spoke a thin gruel of lies With a wickwack bitter lack of youthfulness spunk This old mans rhymes was bunk This old man, he rhymed lots Rhymed till he grew liver spots With a wickwack bitter lack of youthfulness cheer Why he rhymed remains unclear
rhymed, youthfulness, wickwack, old, bitter