Howdy Howdy Im just as proud to be here Well, sir, Im just as proud and happy to be down here with all you fine folks And handsome fellers too Now, they are Sure enough, I been lookin at em I just look, it dont do no good, but I still look Its kinda like going down to the depot and watchin the trains go by You love to hear the whistle even if you aint goin nowhere But I did have two nice lookin fellers kinda look at me tonight as I was walkin in out there They was two of the handsomest fellers standin there And I looked over at them and smiled And they looked over at me and laughed out loud One of them said to the other one, he said I believe thats the ugliest woman I ever seen in my life Other one said, Yeah, shes awful ugly But she might be a pretty good ol girl You know, beautys only skin deep And the other one said, Well, lets skin her See, I cant help the way I look When they passed around looks I thought they said books And I said, Give me a funny one Well, so this other feller, he says to me, he says now I believe I recognize that girl Said, Thats that Minnie Pearl Said, Shes been down there at the Grand Ole Opry for a hundred and seventyfive and a half years He said, She carries on like shes from the country He said, I bet she aint from the country He said, I bet she dont know a goose from a gander I turned around, I said, Well, at Grinders Switch we dont worry about that We just put em all out there together and let em figure it out for their selves Oh, so far we aint had no complaints Hardly at all, you might say Well, as your know, my feller He had a fit about me comin off over here You know, he gets worried about me when I leave Grinders Switch and come over here to Nashville He does, he worries He said, One of these nights Youll get over there round that Grand Ole Opry And one of them fellers over therell run off with you I wish they would I just said that cause its so Naw, he, he said last night, hed come by the house, and Oh, you know, its, it is so romantical It is late This is about 830 I reckon And we was sittin down on the double settee in the front room And I was sittin by him and him by me and one by each and each by the other We was just sittin there Oh, it was romantical Except for one thing We got a grand big old tall grandfather clock Stands a way tall against the wall And it ticks slow Every time my feller comes over there to keep me company Sound like that old clock sayin Take your time, take your time I oughta get one of them real fast ticky little clocks that goes Git together, git together, git together Aint this awful, a grown girl of eighteen up here carryin on so silly? He said, What would you do? We was sittin there just lookin at one another Just like two frogs under a collard leaf and it araining He said, What would you do if you was to get off up there around Where all them handsome fellers are up there in the city And run up on a bunch of one of them fast fellers Them city broke fellers Thatd just kiss you at the drop of a hat? What would you do? I said, I reckon Id be all the time droppin my hat I aint had no trouble yet, Im still hopin Lord, I aint been kissed in so long I forgot whether its done with drawin in your breath or blowin it out Thats right now, sure enough They say kissin spreads germs I sure have spent a lot of healthy evenings in my life We had a party the other night at Grinders Switch, where I live at And, and right in the middle of it they started playing a game Where they drawed a circle in the middle of the floor And a girl would stand in the middle of the circle And a feller would either have to kiss her or pay a fine I made eleven dollars and thirtyfour cents One little boy didnt have no money with him Said hes pay me come Saturday But Id like to take you all with me to Grinders Switch sometime Now, I been talkin about Grinders Switch for now into twenty years up here At the Grand Ole Opry And several folks have asked me about Grinders Switch And Id just love to take you with me Weve got more goin on down there than you ever seen River runs every day, train runs once a week Everything goin on down there, its excitin Now last week Steve Jones got one of them new fabled oil stoves And that thing blowed up, blowed Steve and his old lady clean out the top of the roof First time theyd been out together since they got married He aint like Liam Perkins, he takes his wife with him everywhere he goes I said to him one day, I said Liam, you so thoughty You take your wife with you everywhere you go He said, Yeah, she so ugly Id rather take her with me than to kiss her goodbye
feller, said, grinder, switch, one