[Hook Chino XL Akili Nickson] She said she shouldve done this She shouldve done that Pack my bags and never look back Some things that Ive seen I cant unsee I spend my whole life just trying to get free And Im never gonna be, without my pain and misery But I remember what my mama told me Mama told me Mama told me Mama told me I remember what my mama told me [Verse 1 Chino XL] I scramble to my feet to regain consciousness The floor half full of blood, Im a pessimist It makes sense for me to make my exodus This scene flashing through child monic movie images I was nine years old with spine hemorrhages Just me and him was in the house, no witnesses All Im thinking is, how Imma live through this He unclenched his fist, my face grimaces I dont reminisce, I remember the stress Feeling nervousness when he came home up the steps Mom he beatin me bad, first escaped my lips She said that I was a fuck up and I deserved this shit What could I have possibly done I was only nine With fucking stitches in my eye she told me stop crying Im looking for a sign, the sun dont ever shine Im an only child, they say that love is blind [Hook] [Verse 2 Chino XL] Now in retrospect as a father looking back Having my own flesh of my flesh, theres no excuse for that I also have heard that what dont kill us make us stronger But the abuse that I took, took away my hunger Living inside my imagination I learned hate Planning my escape, losing my personal faith She blamed it on the drugs, she blamed it on the times She blamed on her moms, but Im the one with scars Staring at that chipped paint wall in my room Im 13 years old now I gotta do something soon It was the 6th of June, inside of my mouth was a bloody wound My stepfather vowed to put in me in a tomb Momma told me my real daddy didnt want me I figured this new man must be special if she let him hurt me Now I aint had no mother, and He aint have no mercy Why did God curse me? Maybe Im meant to suffer [Hook] [Verse 3 Chino XL] I finally decided that I wouldnt take it no more I had a steak knife that Ive been hiding in my right drawer He had punch my right jaw just the night before I stood silently outside his bedroom door But every breath I took I felt like there was angels with me Soon his death would be a mystery even to me I saw a shadow move, he finally coming through I swung a knife at dude, if I had only knew The life slipping out a body was my mom dukes I had no idea that she was in the room too Wiping tears from my eyes this cant be true My stepfather drunk in the bed still off cheap brew I knelled down to momma to hear a last truth She said Son I never loved him more than you I still hate myself, I tried to hang myself The leather belt broke, that was 20 years ago [Hook x2]
xl, chino, blamed, mama, told