[Chorus 1 Everyone] The State of Florida has asked us to Disclose our sexual crimes to you We were bad, but now were good Were moving into your neighborhood You know were trying our best to be Functioning members of society Were not here to start no trouble Were legally required to do the Sex Offender Shuffle [Verse 1 Larry Arthauer] Im Larry Arthauer and Ill refrain From touching my neighbors kids again What I did was not too kind But Im a nice guy, youll come to find Ive got a backyard and a real nice pool Yall should come over for a barbecue We could make some cold drinks in my blender But do keep in mind that Im a sex offender [Verse 2 Vernon Douglas] Vernon Douglas is my name My battery arrest is what brought me fame But theres much more to know about me I love to dance and I love to ski I zip and zoom on through the snow Just strap on my boots and watch me go But I cant ski until December Till then, Im just a sex offender [Verse 3 Charles Dolling] Im Charles Dolling, dropping rhymes Ive been arrested seven times I know that sounds like a lot But three of those times were for vandalism I feel real bad, I got caught I might do it again, probably not Im not here to make pretences Im here because of my sex offences [Verse 4 Sam Pound] Im Sam Pound, Im number one Apologising for what Ive done In case youre wondering what that was I snuck into a bathroom and fisted my cuz I held her down and watched her struggle Then played with her melons because I like to juggle Im not here to eat those truffles Im just here to do the Sex Offender Shuffle [Saxophone Solo Ronald Mullis] [Verse 5 Laura Hughes] Hey everybody Im Laura Hughes Proving girls can do it too And by it, I mean touch your cousin Was it worth it? No it wasnt You wont find me in your childs play set Cause I gotta wear this ankle bracelet Im not here to go on a bender Im here because Im a sex offender [Verse 6 Marc Burmholdt] Last name Burmholdt, first name Marc Im moving in somewhere on your block Not in a house, but in a van If you need me to move it, I sure can The last thing I want is any trouble Ive learnt my lesson from the Sex Offender Shuffle [Verse 7 Arthur Chase] Im the one they call Arthur Chase They said I didnt have to show my face My first trial ended in a hung jury If Im found guilty theyll unblur me Im not the necrophiliac Arthur Chase Thats a different Arthur Chase Im not here to be my own defender Im here because Im possibly a sex offender [Interlude Telly Polk] Okay, real quick, Im not like these people, okay, this is an extortion plot by my exwife, whos the only witness, and shes trying to take away my kids, and if Im not here to pack my duffle Im just here to do the Sex Offender Shuffle [Chorus 2 Everyone] The State of Florida has asked us to Disclose our sexual crimes to you We were bad, but now were good Were moving into your neighbourhood Were obliged to admit The crimes for which we were convicted Were not here to start no trouble Were legally required to do the Sex Offender Shuffle
offender, sex, shuffle, arthur, burmholdt