The story you are about to witness is true. It actually happened. Only the names have been changed to make it funny... Sitting at home last Sunday morning, me mate Boomer rang Said he was having a few people around for a barbie, said he might cook a burro or two I said, Sounds great, will Walla be there? He said, Yeah and Vejja might come too So I said to the wife, Do you wanna go, Anna? She said, Ill go if Ding goes So I said, Whatll we do about Nulla? He said, Nulla bores me to tears, leave him at home We got to the party about two and walked straight out the kitchen to put some booze in the fridge And you wouldnt believe it, theres Boomers wife Warra sitting there trying to plait a puss! Now, I dont like to speak ill of Warra, but I was shocked I mean how much can a koala bear? So I grabbed a beer, flashed me wanger at her and went out and joined the party Pretty soon Ayers rocks in and things really started jumping This Indian girl Marsu turns up, dying to go to the toilet, but she couldnt find it I said to me mate Al, Hey, where can Marsu pee, Al? He said She can go out back with the fellas, shes probably seen a cock or two Well just then Warra comes out of the kitchen with a few drinks for everybody Fair dinkum, youve never seen a cooler barmaid I grabbed a beer and said, Thanks Warra, tah! A couple of queens land at the party, one smelling pretty strongly of aftershave One of them sat down next to me and I turned to him and I said, Ya know mate, you reek of Stockade! It was a really hot day Oscar felt like a swim He said to Ina, Do you want a have a dip in the river, Ina? She said, I havent got my cozzy, Oscar! Well Bo says, Come in starkers, whatll they care? Ina says, What, without so much as a thread, Bo? Ah, perish the thought! Has Yucum been in yet? Well a few of the blokes decided to play some cricket Boomer says Why doesnt Wom bat? Yeah, and let Tenter field He said I should have a bowl, but I was too out of it to play cricket so I suggested a game of cards I said to Liptus, Wanna game of euchre, Liptus? He said, Theres no point mate, Darr wins every time Well Bill said hed like a smoke Nobody knew where the dope was stashed I said, I think Marie knows But I was just spinning a bit of a yarn Barry pulls a joint out of his pocket Bill says Great, Barry, a reefer!, What is it mate? Noosa Heads of course. Me mate Ada laid em on me And it was a great joint too, it blew Mountains away and his three sisters! Well I thought Id roll one meself, I said, Chuck us the Tallyho, Bart! He said Theyre out on the lawn, Ceston, can you get em for us? Bernie says, Its okay mate, shes apples, Ill get em for ya Just then Alice springs into action, starts to pack Bill a bong And you wouldnt believe it, the bongs broken I said Lord how! Hey man, somebody says, will a didgery do? I said Hummmmm, mummmm, mummmmm, mummmmm, maybe itll have to I look in the corner and theres Bass sitting there, not getting into it, not getting out of it I said, What, is Bass straight or something? Boomer says, As a matter a fact mate, hes a cop I said, Youre joking mate, a cop? Im getting outta here. Lets go, Anna She said, No way, Im hangin round till Gum leaves. Besides, I dont wanna leave Jack around a party on his own Have you seen him? I think hes trying to crack on to Wumba hes already tried to mount Isa And hell definitely try to lead you astray, Liana! Thank you and goodnight!
said, mate, warra, boomer, ina