I write in long hand a shortterm memory Hopeless romantic, coarse word tendencies Right now I dont want to wake up Or try to forget when the storm first entered me Lately Ive felt self destructive Selfinflicted, self help the cuts with Shell shocked, Hells bells and trumpets Selftaught to tell tales in public Of this life, same shit but different day I write it down, same shit in different ways Fight it now, break fists against the cage Until I climb on that slave ship and drift away My blood boils in cups the sun spoils abrupt And unloyal with love so come toil with us The sun freezes and cuts in some seasons and plus Its untreated so trust Im done bleeding In a place where I can be and touch all of the things I see To find my peace and I can breathe with nobody looking back at me Ill just take a breath and place my bets but never deal Til I face my death with a game of chess like Seventh Seal Ill still fight the stepdads and memories Scream Zion til deaf dance to melodies Deadpanned with setbacks and jealousy Until heaven expands the hell in me Acquired conscious competence of all of my accomplishments And conquered constant comments that contradicted my confidence Common compliments were called upon to con me in Accosted consonant comments that condescended all my common sense Where Im from, no one stays alive You just die by the sword, a shoguns frame of mind Walk with the rest like its Dawn of the Dead And drink from the blood that the open veins provide My raps are like a novel with clever style and prose Im Edgar Allan Poe, the Cask of Amontillado Enter catacombs til clever palindromes And letters that I wrote can capture the god Apollo Hear the secret stammers timell tell I rebel, they teach me manners with a Biblebelt Schtick, psychedelic, dreams of banter Scenes of candor I embellish Like a zombie that eats through tissue Until I find a heart with a beat to spit to If its not in the meat I sift through Ill write it acapella on the piece I bit through Im savage, and its near the dead of night Wait til the sun paints an iridescent sky To head the deadened cries Of an old boy given no choice but to fear the present time Take the reigns, Im sick and tired of the practice Of burnin bridges, I lit the fire with a matchstick Return the image to where Im at, cus thinking back Ive been sinking fast, and tripping wires where the sands quick Across plains with bloody palms and jaw pains Hiding from Gods grace in fright like its Pompeii And always, Ill just stay on the lost road While you study crucifixes painted with barcodes And this time, Ill just try my luck Surrounded by these masks like its eyes wired shut And I might jump ship or I flip like its my live bus So I try trust with how it was or how it is when Frowns insist sounds of love amount to this Too proud to kiss so I sewed my lips shut So love drowned within the open wrist cuts At first its just a ride to live fast Until I felt the bruises inside from whiplash A purpose, Ill try to get that Until I fall from grace and I die on impact And intact was a single broken locket With the ocean on its rustic chain and face that no one wanted Im growing nauseous from a world that never stops When my centers lost hope in the ghost that haunted Pentecost I stand in graveyards and dance to take charge Of concepts of death that I have to base on Even when my bones crack Ill pace on Through the epitaphs that my pasts engraved on Laugh and stay strong, embrace the day Till it fades away with this mask I paint on Shes probably just a bitch thats casting all the shadows Laughing at my battles and following a trend Searching for an angel at the bottom of a fifth But my hands stay empty, I swallow it again Its the loss of leaves that autumn brings That show me these limbs are far from wings Im far from happy, youre far from peace Ill fall from grace and youll fall for me And awkwardly Ill just change my posture Till the aches and pains rearrange the monsters
grace, til, comment, biblebelt, deadpanned