Im like Pepsi Im always second best Like Melissa Etheridge Im usually in a vest Im like Home Depot If I cant flow Theres Hispanics out front Ready to go Im like Southwest Youre free to move around But the only place Im goin is DTown Im like Mr. Clean I appear out of nowhere Jeffrey Tambor downtown Subtle, no hair Im like FEMA I always come late Im like Puerto Rico Im not really a state Im like Donald Duck You cant understand a word Im dangerous and friendly to kids Call me Notorious B.I.G Bird Im like Maury Povich I make a living off exploitation Im like Cubans Sometimes I mix myself up with Haitians Im like Sarah Palin Im the scum of the Earth Im like Jaden Smith I was set since birth Im like my moms friend Allison Galansky When I have dinner parties I dont invite me Im like Dave Matthews My fans are all tools Im like cricket yall I dont quite understand the rules Im like an overweight advice columnisthunterdirector of photography I shot Dear Flabby It was a documentary, it actually won Best Picture at Thundance and South By Northeast. We submitted to Cannies, but it didnt take. Im like a clawmachine You usually dont win Im like that all thats evil and not real You can call me sin Im like a clown without makeup Still kinda scary Im like a Scrabble dictionary Cause Im useless But with a great vocabulary Im confusing Like when a girl named Mary gets married Im like Gary Coleman It didnt end up so great Im like pornography I use me to masturbate Flight attendant to ya phone Ill get ya turned off Im like a creepy doctor Dont turn your head when you cough Im like a butterface Cause I have margarine on my face Im like China in a bull shop Im still outta place Im like cryogenics No one really knows exactly what I am or if it extends ones own life Its probably just science fiction to help people stave off their fear of mortality you know? Im like that Im like Krevin Harbutton No ones ever heard of me Im an annoying phenomenon Im like Glee Im like LA Cause I take my time to crush your soul Im like New York City Im already full Im like Richard Nixon Except Im a crook Like a blind person with audiotapes I dont do it by the book! Im like King Kong Cause I sweat a lot I mean nobody ever talks about it, but he probably sweats a lot Im like Qtip I didnt make it fuckin rhyme for real But yo technically Im not made of steel Im mostly water Im mostly water Im like Cali Swag Im a one hit wonder Im like a cold hit without mass appeal Im Six Feet Under Im like glasses Since July Ive been out of fashion Im the cultural elite Im the last intellectual bastion Im like Elvis Presley Cause I stole that shit Im like Charlie Parker Cause Im that Bird shit Yo, riffins in my blood And its not about to clot Improvise like the Sun All important and fuckin hot Im like a flasher in the cold I always wear two coats Im like Angela Lansbury I wrote Murder She Wrote Im like Mrs. Doubtfire I look good in a wig Im like that farmer from Babe Thatll do pig
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