[Part I. The Hangover Mass] Im sorry, Mama, but Ive been drinking again Me and the old man got us a head start on the weekend And rest assured, tonight Im going to be in Kevins basement with all my friends Provided we can get, get our lazy asses down to Bottle King by ten And the walk home is going to be a real shit show Ill be picking up halfsmoked cigarette butts all up and down Rock Road And then to throw up in the warm glow of the traffic light But Im gonna put the devil inside to sleep if it takes all night So lets get fucked up, and lets pretend were all okay And if youve got something that you cant live with Save it for another day, all right? Save it for another day Im sorry, Mama, but expect a call from the neighbors tonight All of my asshole buddies are coming over and theyre feeling a little too all right Im sick and tired of everyone in this town being so goddamn uptight But dont you worry, Ill do all the talking when they turn on the flashing lights When Im an old man, I can be the quiet type And I can go without a moment of fun for the rest of my life I can read a good book, and I can be in bed by ten And I can get up early, go to work and come home, and start it all over again But while were young, boys, everybody raise your glasses high Singing, Heres to the good times, heres to the home team Kiss the good times goodbye, oh yeah Kiss the good times goodbye. [Part II. Grandpas Old Cough Medicine] I need a timeout, I need an escape from reality Or else I need eternal darkness and death, I need an exit strategy Down in North Carolina, I could have been a productive member of society But these New Jersey cigarettes and all they require have made a fucking junkie out of me So give me a Guinness, give me a Keystone Light Give me a kegger on a Friday night Give me anything but another year in exile I need a whiskey, I need a whiskey right now God knows how many times Ive said this before But I really dont feel like doing this anymore [Part III. Song for Tretiaks Movie] So hey, Andy, lets turn into dirty old men Close down the bar every night at the Glen Rock Inn Talk about our grandkids as we stroke our grey bears Funny were still doing carbombs after all of these years And I know there are bicycles waiting to ride But I could swear I heard voices from the other side, saying Wait until you see the whites of their eyes. And now that Im older, I look back and say What the fuck was it for anyway? For those dreams are lying in the still of the grave What the fuck were they for anyway? So let it be on a stretcher if I get carried away What the fuck was it for anyway?
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