Hi, Im the Rap Critic. And Eminem is BACK again Well, I mean, I guess he had to come back eventually. Either that or pretend to retire for couple days, like JayZ. Most rappers dont just stop rapping but the point is, he has returned with a new single And, as you may know, Eminems record for music has been a little unreliable since about 2004. Encore, ironically, no one ever wanted to hear again and Relapse somehow ultimately ended up being worse, but Recovery was a welcome breath of fresh air, as his lyrics were tighter and wellthought out, especially after seeing how horribly he could fall into mediocrity. However, some people still had a problem with it. They felt that he was still complaining about his life too much and whatnot, which I dont see a problem with, because I feel like the tracks where he did go more into personal problems werent that overbearing and properly updated us on what his lifes been like, which is what he used to do on his older albums anyway! Anyone remember Rock Bottom or Cleaning Out My Closet, or The Way I Am? And besides, there really werent THAT many glum, reflective songs on it anyways. I feel like people colored their perception of the album based on Not Afraid, which was such a bold move in and of itself, because before then, the first single off of every one of Eminems albums has always been a lighter, sillier song. However, the idea of Em coming back from two bad albums and then NOT giving us what we typically expect from him for the promotional single? It changed how people approached the album However, for his new single, Berzerk, were back to the silly lead single formula. And, to that end, although I miss old Eminem, I fear this possible regression, especially since his new album is called The Marshall Mathers LP 2. Because yeah, apparently, sequels to successful albums are a thing in rap now. Yep! Are you a rapper whos been in the game for a long time, but you dont know if the random selection of songs youve put on your new album will resonate with your audience? Just call it a sequel! Sure, the songs dont thematically relate to anything beyond the typical violence, cash, hoes anthems, and the first album probably didnt have a main theme to begin with. But the point is, youve reminded fans and critics of your first, classic album, and now you will undoubtably have undeserved hype behind it, regardless of whether or not its earned Well anyways, the point is, Eminems back with a new party single. But the question is will it end up being a single that could be compared to the likes of The Real Slim Shady or Without Me, or will he rerelapse into mediocrity once again. Well, lets see Now this shits about to kick off, this party looks wack Lets take it back to straight hiphop and start it from scratch Okay, well, let me say the first thing that I appreciate about this song it has energy! Im tired of party songs that are well Gas pedal gas pedal. This song sounds like Em is putting his heart into it, and that he wants you to feel the energy that he feels. The first lines of the song are basically, Man, this new stuff sucks! Lets REALLY get this party started! Im bout to bloody this track up, everybody get back Thats why my pen needs a pad cause my rhymes on the rahag looks weirded out Was anyone else thrown off by that last part? Like, did AdRock from the Beastie Boys take over his brain for a couple seconds? I mean, the lyrics were clever and whatnot, but there was no reason why he had to say that like that... Just like I did with addiction Im bout to kick it Using a clever punchline on how hes about to rip the mic as a double entendre for how hes gotten over his addiction to drugs? I dont care what you say thats respectable AND badass. Although I cant help but notice that Im starting to hear little remnants of the stupid accents coming back. I hope that stops soon... Like a magician, critics I turn to CRICKETS Okay, I want to respect the wordplay here, but really, whats up with you overemphasizing the punchline and putting on these vocal effects? Arent you usually more of a quickwitted guy whos always skating from one joke to the next? Like, for a lot of Eminem songs, where hes just playing the role of a smartass, the jokes whiz by so quickly, sometimes, youre not even aware you just heard something supremely clever. With this song, it just feels like hes laying the punches on a little too thick, and it does a disservice to the overall presentation Got em still on the fence whether to PICK IT But quick to get impaled when I tell em STICK IT OHO! DDI YOU SEE WHAT HE DID THERE!? ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN SO THAT THERE MAY BE NO AMBIGUITY, YOU SEE THE JOKE IS... I cant believe Im doing this, but I have to say, despite how bafflingly clever this is, I just feel like Im being socked in the face by these punchlines. Maybe its not him. Maybe hes just responding to the beat, which has a very direct, striking tone created by Rick Ruben, known for making harsher, crushing beats like his work with the Beastie Boys or his work on 99 Problems by JayZ. But this beat feels too busy, and while I feel that Eminems writing corresponds to the tone of the music, it feels like it doesnt trust the listener to want to hear Eminems lyrics. But, like, its Eminem were gonna hear you, dude. I dunno, maybe this is me nitpicking, and this is his new style, but it feels needlessly overexaggerated So sick Im looking pale, well thats my PIGMENT act as if being blown back Bout to go ham, ya bish, shout out to KENDRICK act as if being blown back further Lets bring it back to that vintage Slim, bitch! The art of the MCing mixed with da Vinci and MC Ren And I dont mean Stimpys friend, bitch Been Public Enemy since you thought PE was gym, bitch See, right here, this is you doing what you do best lacing lyric upon lyric with amazing wordplay, but, at the same time, every time he says bitch, it feels like they were just superimposed on the track just to meet the cursing quota for every one of his songs [Bridge] Take your shoes off, let your hair down and go berserk, ALL NIGHT LONG get blown back again Are are they still letting you sing? Grow your beard out What? Grow your beard out Grow a beard? Was that line intended for ZZ Top over here? Because, I dont know who else that instruction would be for. I mean, Ive heard party songs tell people to do some pretty outlandish things, but I gotta say grow a beard is quite possibly the most inactive thing Ive ever heard commanded of an audience. I mean, I know youre 40 tears old, but dude I dont wanna hear the mundane things when youre bored in a party song Grow your beard out watch paint dry eat a box of oreos ALL NIGHT LONG Watch home movies maybe masturbate fall asleep on the couch ALL NIGHT LONG! So baby make just like KFed and let yourself go, let yourself go I feel like I should make fun of this joke because, I mean, who the hell cares about Kevin Federline anymore, but show picture of KFed Dude, what the hell happened, man? Weernt you, like, a backup dancer or something? How the hell did you develop that much of a dad belly? But girl your bodys banging, jump me in dang, bang bang Yes siree Bob I was thinking the same thing So come get on this kids rock, baw with da baw, dang dang Well, this is kinda clever. I mean yeah, it doesnt do it too bad here, but in general, Im not a fan of rappers repeating words and phrases in a verse for the sole purpose of filling up space... Ppppow chicka pow chicka wow wow like that Got your gal blowin up a valvvvvalvalve Or that Dumb it down, I dont know huhhuh, how, how No no, I think ya do... At least I know that I dont know Question is are you bozos smart enough to feel stupid ye yes? Hope so Okay And they say that love is powerful as cough syrup in Styrofoam All I know is I fell asleep and woke up in that Monte Carlo Interesting thing about this line some people think that this lyric is somehow dissing Ace Hood, because its similar to the chorus of Bugatti play I woke up in a new Bugatti But honestly, I dont see it. This is Eminem, here, if he wanted to throw shots at someone, hed do just that. THIS, is just making a comical parallel between Ace rapping about luxury and good fortune, and him rapping about waking up after sex in the back of a crappy old car. No, thats not a diss. THIS is a diss Will Smith dont gotta cuss in his raps to sell records. Well I do, so fuck him, and fuck you too Hell, he makes an ACTUAL diss to someone in the VERY NEXT LINE All I know is I fell asleep and woke up in that Monte Carlo With the ugly Kardashian Lamar, oh sorry yo, we done both set the bar low THAT is a diss. Why isnt anybody talking about that?! Far as hard drugs, are though thats the past But I done did enough codeine to knock Future into tomorrow And people think this is a diss to future, too, but Im still sticking with my point a play on words doesnt automatically equate to disrespect And girl I aint got no money to borrow But I am tryin to find a way to get you a loan, CAR NOTE get spit on my face from how intense hes saying that line Girl youre fixin to get your heart broke, dont be absurd, man You birdbrained baby I aint called anybody baby since Birdman Unless youre a swallow Wow. I think thats the first time Birdmans been remotely involved in something you could call clever. And for those of you who dont know, yes, there is a rapper named Birdman, also known as Baby. And sigh Look, dude, if youre a 44 year old man who shares your rap name with both a silly Adult Swim T.V. show AND a Justin Bieber song, dude head back to the drawing board on rap names. Although, both those things came out after he chose those names. Its quite unfortunate, actually Word, Rick word man you heard, but dont be discouraged girl This is your jam, unless you got toe jam Kick your shores off, let your hair down I gotta say, thats a slick way of bringing it back to the bridge Overall, Id give this song a 4 out of 5. Its not gonna replacing any of his classic songs, any time soon, and to be real with you, I dont know if it has a lot of replay value for me, but he brought an energy and wittiness that put it miles ahead of anything in Encore or Relapse, and honestly, thats all Im really looking for. Just knowing that he can still bring a certain flavor to HipHop that puts him above the rest lyrically, despite some questionable parts concerning his delivery But yeah, I find it to be a satisfactory piece that gave me the feeling that he was putting time and honest effort into his rhymes, and so in that sense, it succeeded for me Well, Im the Rap Critic, and Im glad I can say that Im positively looking forward to The Marshall Mathers LP 2. See ya later
song, album, eminems, beard, clever