[Verse 1 Weird Al Yankovic] Youre sort of famous, a minor celebrity And so it only makes sense the world would be Obsessed with every single thing you do Theyre running round with their camcorders in the night Theyre lurking patiently and hoping that they just might See something real embarrassing you do [PreChorus Weird Al Yankovic] The bad hair day and sweatstained tshirt Thats the story that theyre gonna feature With exclusive pics of your flabby behind You think youre all alone, but thats right when youll find [Chorus Weird Al Yankovic] A bunch of paparazzi popping out of nowhere Cameras in your face, and then suddenly Youre on TMZ, youre on TMZ [Verse 2 Weird Al Yankovic] Following you when youre walking down the street And asking stupid questions while youre trying to eat So you cover your face, thinking to yourself Hey, isnt this creepy? And theyre out there praying youll have a big meltdown And take em on a little car chase through this whole town Theyll be there with you when youre going to jail First on the scene for every wardrobe fail [PreChorus Weird Al Yankovic] You just picked up some transvestite Seconds later, its up on the website Get a Vegas wedding, a quickie divorce And theyll be sneaking in, snapping pictures, of course [Chorus Weird Al Yankovic] And if they ever catch you picking your nose Or stumblin down the street on a drunken spree Youre on TMZ Stalking you, just waiting by your front door Trailing you through airport security Theyre with TMZ, theyre with TMZ [Skit Tom Kenny] We caught this Oscar nominee picking up dog poop! Is that a baby bump? I pronounce you guilty of leaving the house while fat! Look whos drinking coffee! Everything celebrities do is fascinating! [Bridge Weird Al Yankovic] Oh, let me tell you Its getting to the point where a famous person cant Even get a DUI or go on a racist rant Those guys are all around, so you really shouldnt dare Go to every club in town if youve lost your underwear [Chorus Weird Al Yankovic] Seems that every single time a star decides to Shave their head or ram their car into a tree Theyre on TMZ If they catch you peeing in the bushes Later on that night, well, I guarantee Youre on TMZ, youre on TMZ [Outro Weird Al Yankovic] Youre on TMZ Every single celebrity knows theyre gonna be There on TMZ
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