# User:Wikid/Nethack Stuff
Nicked from the mages of VoR's Hallucinatory Bestiary, we bring you some Nethack Stuff. 
Templates: various

Contents

1 Agony Ant
2 Bobby On The Beat
3 Caveperson
4 DIElithium crystal
5 Filth Beatle
6 Funky Monkey
7 Orchaealogist
8 Phone Zombie

Agony Ant
The Agony Ant has a weak bite, but an annoying stun.  Its final act is a rumour of some description.   

Agony Ant
a

Template
Fire ant

Attacks
Bite 1d4, Sting 1d4 stun, Explode on death 1d4 garo report

Alignment
0 (neutral)

Frequency
0 (Not randomly generated)

Resistances
poison

An Agony Aunt
is solitary

It is not our business to teach persons how to evade the laws. We could imagine circumstances where we might, in confidence, impart the coveted knowledge, but we would rather not be asked. 

The Englishwoman's Domestic Magazine, 1856
 

Bobby On The Beat
Bobbies on the Beat are a rare type of Kop that randomly spawn in pairs.  They have a Watchman-like function.  If they witness the player character commit any infraction, they will call the Kops.  Infractions include any act of Dungeon destruction, or the Bobby being attacked, or actually any fighting ("disorderly conduct"). Bobbies on the Beat on a level can be heard to make such remarks as 

"'Allo 'allo 'allo, what 'ave we 'ere then?"
"You can't park here, Sir / Madam." 
"Oi! You're nicked, Sunshine!"  

Chatting elicits standard Watchman conversation.  

Bobby On The Beat
K

Template
Kop captain

Alignment
7 (lawful)

Frequency
0 (Not randomly generated)

A Bobby on the Beat
Is normally generated peacefulOccurs in pairsCan talk

More than a third of people in England and Wales have not seen a bobby on the beat for a year, research suggests.

BBC, 2016
 

Caveperson
Don't mess with the cavepersons – they carry a really big club.  

Caveperson
@

Template
Caveman

Attacks
club 4d10 (stun)

Alignment
7 (lawful)

Frequency
0 (Not randomly generated)

A Caveperson
Is normally generated peacefulOccurs in small groups

A word of advice, Durk: It's the Mesolithic.  We've domesticated the dog, we're using stone tools, and no one's naked anymore.

Gary Larson, The Far Side 
 

DIElithium crystal
The DIElithium crystal is a homicidal self-aware mineral that packs a nasty electric zap. 

DIElithium Crystal
*

Template
Pile of killer coins

Attacks
3d8 lightning bolt (shock), 3d8 passive (shock)

Alignment
-7 (chaotic)

Frequency
0 (Not randomly generated)

Drops
1 dilithium crystal

Engineering. No casualties, captain, but trouble aplenty with the engines. Every dilithium crystal connection smashed in the warp engine circuitry.

Gene Roddenberry, Star Trek The Original Series
 

Filth Beatle
The Filth Beatle is something of a crossover from the Music Monsters.  Its nip is more of a nuisance, leading to perceptual problems. 

Filth Beatle
a

Template
Giant beetle

Attacks
Bite 1d4 (hallucination)

Alignment
0 (neutral)

Frequency
0 (Not randomly generated)

Resistances
Poison, sickness

Drops
1 random scroll

A Filth Beatle
Occurs in groups of from one to five.

Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl
You let your knickers down

Lennon and McCartney, I am the Walrus
 

Funky Monkey
The Funky Monkey is notable for its exquisite Stinking-Cloud-related expertise. 

Funky Monkey
Y

Template
Monkey

Attacks
Claw steals a random item, Bite 1d3, cast Stinking cloud

Alignment
0 (neutral)

Frequency
0 (Not randomly generated)

Resistances
Poison

Drops
2d4 bananas

A Funky Monkey
occurs in small groups

Como banana, biscoito e engulo caroço até me engasgar.
Faço minhas macacadas, rolou batucada eu vou me acabar.
Bolsa brilhante, relógio, não marque bobeira que eu pego pra mim.
Vamos plantar bananeira, jogar capoeira cantando assim 
Ae, ae!

Brown / Mutti / Garrett; © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Fox Music, Inc
 

Orchaealogist
This tunnelling type of orc shaman digs in random directions, picking up loot. Different from other tunnelling monsters, 50% of the time an orchealogist will dig down to create a pit.  If they find themselves in a pit without status afflictions, they are 95% likely to jump out.  If in a pit with status afflictions (e.g., blind, frightened), they are only 5% likely to jump out. Otherwise they dig a hole.  They are mainly a nuisance because of digging pits and holes.   

Orchaealogist
o

Template
Orc shaman

Alignment
0 (neutral)

Frequency
0 (Not randomly generated)

Drops
Pickaxe, Sack

An orchaealogist
Is generated peaceful Can jump Is solitary

Is this quest bugged? I talked to the orc, conviced him of showing me where the grave is. He starts running, then sits down, and tells me its right in fron of his feet, but there is no grave there. Is the quest bugged or something?

User: AmAtic. Divinity: Original Sin (Classic) Forums
 

Phone Zombie
Phone zombies are both blind and invisible.  Interestingly, their invisibility is mediated by a rare spell called "it believes it is invisible".  Phone zombies carry a special type of mirror.  Bumping into a phone zombie will anger it. Any nymph that is killed with a mirror in its inventory has a 2% chance to rise as a phone zombie. Any h, k, n, o, C, G, H, K, N, O, Q, T, or @ that is killed on a level where there has been a phone zombie has a 50% chance to spawn a phone zombie from its corpse after 1d12 turns.   

Phone Zombie
Z

Template
Human zombie

Attacks
Claw 1d8

Alignment
0 (neutral)

Frequency
0 (Not randomly generated)

Drops
Mirror

A phone zombie
Is blind Is invisible Is generated peaceful Appears in large groups

Enough of Hong Kong's mobile phone zombie menaces to society.
It’s time to take matters into our own hands to shock these public nuisances out of their reverie and back into the real world.

Yonden Lhatoo, South China Morning Post
 