<text>  Perth, Australia CNNIn the Swan Valley on the outskirts of Perth, a petite, blonde woman opens the front door. Dressed in skinny jeans, a gray t-shirt and black heels, Danica Weeks welcomes us inside her family home. Her warm smile and sparkly green eyes briefly disguise the deep-seated grief and sadness that constantly envelops her. The mother of two young boys cant move on. Her life is stuck on March 7, 2014, when she kissed her husband Paul goodbye at Perth International Airport. He was heading to Mongolia, where he would begin work as a mechanical engineer at one of the mines. It was a big job with enormous opportunity that could set up his young family. Unable to wear jewelry at the work site, he gave Danica his wedding band saying that if anything was to happen to him, she should give the ring to the first son that marries. Wearing it on a simple chain around her neck, she touches it as she speaks. Im so glad that happened, that Ive got this for the boys, she said. And for me, because I may never get anything. It may be the only piece of him that I have that is so close to us. Paul Weeks, 39, left Perth that day and flew to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, for his flight on to Beijing. Just after midnight on March 8, he boarded Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. Weeks had no idea about the planes disappearance until she got a call from a news reporter asking if her husband was on board the missing Boeing 777. My life stopped that day, so thats what I remember. Im purely now just existing. People say youre coping. I wouldnt call it coping; its existing. She has yet to tell her eldest son Lincoln, 4, that his father whom he adored will never come home. She cant make sense of it herself. How is a 4-year-old going to understand? She tells him Daddy is working in Mongolia -- the truth is just too painful. You create your own scenarios in your head and you cant bear to think that someone -- your best friend, amazing husband, the father of my children -- went through any of that. I dont want that for him. Its the not knowing that really destroys you. The past 12 months have been a roller coaster of emotions for Weeks. Initially she thought the plane had crashed but when no debris appeared she clung on to hope. When the pings were discovered and authorities believed they would find the black boxes within days, she was told to prepare for her husbands memorial service. When that turned out to be wrong, her heart sank once again. Now there are days when her grief paralyzes her and she cant get out of bed. There are other days when she affords herself the small luxury of daydreaming and imagines him walking in the front door. When Im alone and I think what if he comes back? I see our wedding pictures and I think if he was to come back it would be amazing for me and for the kids. Jack has grown so much -- he was 11 months when Paul left. Were coming up to his second birthday. Weve gone through all the 12 months of special days and I look at Jack and hes the spitting image of Paul. He would be blown away by how much hes grown. He should be here seeing all of that and the reason we dont know why is so painful. I cant even explain the pain -- its unbearable. We discuss the current search underway in the southern Indian Ocean more than 1,000 miles from where we are sitting in her home. Weeks looks deflated -- shes physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. Theyre very optimistic about this latest search. I cant share in that anymore. Ive thrown my emotions and hopes into so many other searches. Its too much for me now. I wont come back. Half of my soul was on that plane with Paul and now nearly a year on ... I dont think I will ever find myself again. Weeks eyes well up with tears as she talks about her husband whom she met at the Munich Beer Festival 15 years ago. Since then, they had been inseparable -- until now. Her greatest fear is if nothing is found in the 60,000 square kilometer priority search area -- due to be completed by May - the authorities will call off the search operation. No country has said this but it doesnt stop Danica from thinking it. You know, thats so unfair -- where does that leave us? We cant move on beyond MH370. They may be able to but they dont come home to an empty house and 2 young children that should have their father here. They the Malaysians are legally and morally committed to bringing them all home and thats what they should do. When asked what shell be doing on March 8 -- one year since MH370 disappeared and since she last saw Paul -- tears stream down her face. Probably crying a lot. I never thought wed reach a year and not know. You go through every anniversary, Lincolns birthday, Pauls birthday, Christmas. You think well know by then and its a year on. While her loss and pain is palpable, there is an incredible strength within Weeks. She has to remain strong, she says, for the sake of her boys. I will keep searching. I will never stop searching for him. He gave everything to us. He is amazing. I know that if the shoe was on the other foot, he wouldnt stop looking for me. And I will never stop looking for him either. 