<text>  For PBS science correspondent Miles OBrien, seeing on film the aftermath of the freak accident that resulted in the amputation of his left arm above the elbow proved more difficult than he had anticipated. He had an early look at the documentary, Miles OBrien: A Life Lost and Found, narrated by his friend, Dr. Sanjay Gupta. It premieres on CNN next Tuesday at 9pm. I was a little bit taken aback by how much it affected me emotionally, OBrien said. We all want to talk about this linear, analogue thing heres when you grieve, heres when you do therapy, heres where you get back to work. But thats not how we all live. Scroll down for video . Amputee: PBS science correspondent Mile OBrien center lost his left arm above the elbow last February after an accident while on assignment in Asia . Alarming diagnosis: A heavy case of equipment fell on his left forearm, casing acute compartment syndrome - a condition where his swollen muscles blocked blood flow in his arm . OBrien, 55, used to be CNNs top science correspondent until the network laid off his entire unit. He appears on the network as an occasional analyst, such as during coverage of last springs missing Malaysia Airlines plane, but does most of his freelance work now for PBS NewsHour. He was on assignment for PBS in Japan and the Philippines in February 2014 when a heavy case of equipment fell on his left forearm. It caused a nasty bruise, but not enough to stop OBrien from working. He wanted to finish his stories and escape for a few days on a beach. The following night, his pain increased and OBrien sought medical attention. He was diagnosed with acute compartment syndrome, a condition where his swollen muscles blocked blood flow in his arm. As he was getting ready for surgery, he searched the Internet for details on a diagnosis he had never heard before, and grew alarmed when words like life-threatening and amputation popped up. Fateful trip: In Febraury 2014, OBrien pictured traveled to Japan and the Philippines to report on 3D printing when the accident occurred . Illusion: Waking up after the amputation, OBrien could feel his left arm, but it was only a phantom limb . Denial: OBrien continued working on his stories after being discharged from the hospital and didnt tell his family back home about the amputation . Waking up after surgery, OBriens first inclination was that he caught a break. He could feel his left arm, the fingers on his hand. But it was an illusion, a phantom limb. His arm was gone. He checked out of the hospital two days later and spent more than a week in a Philippines hotel, finishing his PBS stories. In an extreme form of denial, the divorced father of two told no one what had happened, even his children. They were dark days, and he told Gupta he even considered suicide. I had never lost an arm before, he said, drily. I wasnt sure how that would go. Two weeks after the amputation, he wrote in a blog post- typed with one hand with the help of a voice recognition software: Life is all about playing the hand that is dealt you. Actually, I would love somebody to deal me another hand right about now in more ways than one. During an interview on the Today Show in March 2014, about a month after his accident, OBrien described what happened to him as mind-boggling. Unstoppable: The 55-year-old reporter has learned how to ride a bicycle one-handed with the help of a special contraption pictured OBrien had never been the sort of person who reached out for help. And he wanted to prove to himself he could move forward and still do his job. When he found out about the amputation through the February blog post OBrien had written, Gupta was worried. I wasnt surprised by Miles reaction, he said. My concern was, was this his form of therapy or was he delaying the inevitable psychological crash by not dealing with it emotionally? OBrien has tried to prove he can maintain his active life beyond work, with some missteps. He started running, but losing an arm affected his balance and he took some nasty spills. He broke his nose one time when he reached to break his fall with an arm that was no longer there. A woman who came upon him was horrified look what happened to his arm! and OBrien had to explain he didnt lose it in the fall. With the help of a prosthetic arm, he completed a 300-mile bike ride to honor his late sister, Gupta pedaling by his side. The licensed pilot has also been testing out how to fly again with his new disability. Growing pains: The divorced father of two has been learning how to perform simple everyday tasks like cutting a bagel and getting dressed on his own . Hes learning about the oddities of pain in a phantom limb, how to work with new prosthetics and how to negotiate simple tasks getting dressed, cutting a bagel that he never had to think twice about before. When filming the CNN special, OBrien knew what Gupta was up to when his friend asked him to read on camera some of the emails that Gupta had sent to him a year ago. He was trying to make him cry. It worked. The emotional journey, still not completed, has been one of self-discovery. Hes learned that theres no weakness in asking for help. He realizes what loved ones and even strangers think of him, and it has been overwhelming. If I had to trade it that arm for the knowledge and the love that I feel? he said. Ill go with the love. Its a hell of a way to learn a lesson. 