<text>  CNNHugh Hefners Playboy Mansion was a gilded cage for former Hef companion Holly Madison. In her new memoir, Down the Rabbit Hole, Madison -- one of the stars of the Playboy-centered E! reality series The Girls Next Door -- says that living in the mansion wasnt all sex and good times. Life inside the notorious mansion wasnt a dream at all -- and quickly became her nightmare, the promotional material states, according to Us Weekly. After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth, and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide. Madison also details stories of backstabbing Bunnies and very strict house rules. Some of Madisons revelations wont be news to anyone whos ever read about the recent life of Hefner, the Playboy founder, whose most recent marriage was to Crystal Harris in 2012. Former spouse Kimberley Conrad described Hefner as very controlling, and hes a man of routine. The 88-year-old has a passion for old movies and old friends, and he keeps more than 2,000 scrapbooks about his life. The mansion -- except for Hefners bedroom -- is kept immaculate. And the sex? A couple times a week, Hefner told The New York Times in 2010. Madison is now married to promoter Pasquale Rotella and has a young daughter. Her memoir is due out in June. Im excited to finally share my story and what Ive learned from my personal experiences both inside and outside of the Playboy Mansion, she told Us. I think my stories will surprise people, and Im looking forward to lifting the veil of mystique and clearing up the misconceptions so often associated with my life. 