[ WP ] Tot save the life of your best friend , you have to challenge the devil to a game of chess . You are pretty good , but the devil already has an eternity of practice

“ I believe was my first question was, ‘ What the hell is this? ’ ‘ And why is this asshole dressed like Satan? ’ I ’ m pretty sure was my second question, though it might have been, ‘ How do you play chess? ’ My friend Jeremy called me just 45 minutes prior saying he needed a ‘ little help. ’ He didn ’ t say ‘ nothing about playin ’ chess against the devil. 
 
 “ Apparently his years of success came at a price. He made some shady deals, bla bla bla, and now the devil wants his soul. Jeremy says there ’ s got to be another way; devil says ‘ Only if your best friend beats me in a game of chess. ’ I ’ m the lucky guy. 
 
 “ So, I show up, devil gives me the run down, kind of a sarcastic prick, tell you the truth. I tell him, ‘ I didn ’ t agree to this. ’ Devil says fine, he ’ ll take my friend right now. ‘ Can ’ t we do a game of hockey, ’ I ask him. 
 
 ‘ Hockey ’ s not my game, ’ he smirks. Then he says they don ’ t got ice in hell. Smart ass. I told ya. So, I ask him if we can just do checkers, to make it fair. No, it ’ s got ta be chess. 
 ‘ Fine, ’ so I pull up a chair. I ask him what the little guy in the front does. He smirks and says, 
 
 ‘ Why would I want to help you? ’ Asshole. So, I look over to Jeremy and I ’ m like, 
 ‘ Help me out. How do ya play this game? ’ 
 
 ‘ Now, now, no cheating, ’ the devil clicked his black fingernails together and grinned at me. 
 
 ‘ Alright, fuck this, ’ I tossed the table to the side, pulled out my snub nose.357 from my waist band and gave him four between the eyes. I mean, I don ’ t know if a bullet ’ s gon na hurt the devil, but, you got ta try, right? I mean, wouldn ’ t you do the same for your friend, your honor? ” 
 
 The judge remained motionless. 
 
 “ Well, anyway, it was right after that that Jeremy started screaming like a little girl, no offense, your honor. So I ’ m like, ‘ What are you screamin ’ for? I just saved your life? ’ That ’ s when he goes and tells me it was all some prank. I ’ m like, ‘ A prank? ’ You dress someone up like the devil and tell me your soul is at stake and that ’ s a prank? So, I was angry and I thought I ’ d teach Jeremy a lesson, so I popped him one in the leg. He lived; he ’ s fine, isn ’ t he? ” 
 
 “ Uh! No- no further questions your honor! ” a rotund little man waved his hands in the accused ’ s face to shut him up. 

