[ WP ] You crash land onto a planet where everyone is weak as hell and everything is made of soft material like cardboard and styrofoam etc . You , a regular person , are essentially their superhuman .

`` The stars flew past me like little cosmic pebbles as I helplessly careened through space, my escape pod destined to become my coffin. 
 
 In desperation, I tried to radio the mother ship, but to no avail. A faulty ship? Sabotage? A mistake on my part? Unfortunately, it looks like no one can say for sure, although it's starting to look like I'm going to put the `` terminal'' in terminal velocity. 
 
 In my little fugue, I think about how happy I am that I'm just going to crash into a small planet and die quickly, as opposed to suffocating or starving to death out in the blackness of space.'' 
 
 The children gaze at me, all spiffed up in my brillant space suit, sitting in a cul-de-sac taken out of time, all in fascination as I let loose a loud sneeze. The *human* children, I might add, on this definitely *alien* planet. One of their mothers, having just diligently delivered some full cans of *Coca-Cola* ( alien planet, remember ) watches vigilantly for any sign of trouble, but they were certainly more trusting than I was expecting. At least, I certainly know my mom would never let strange men near their children. Little things like that, in addition to the architecture that I've seen, as well as the clothes, really give off an `` early 60's'' vibe. 
 
 `` Show us the trick again!'' a little boy squeals. `` Yeah!'' pipe a few more. 
 
 It makes me feel like a badass, anyway. I glance at a freckled boy who looks like a little bit like the bully from `` Recess,'' and in my most authoritative voice, `` Hey, chuck your can in the air!'' 
 
 As the can gains more height, I aim my glove at it and nail it directly with a laser beam, much to the awe of the children and shock of the mother. She grabs the arm of the Gelman look-a-like, and starts heading into what I presume is her house. Insulting, but I can understand. 
 
 A grunt from behind alerts me to the presence of the police behind me. He tells me that `` they've'' arrived, whoever that means. I figured my best bet as soon as I landed in this suburban paradise was to contact law enforcement, maybe that could give me a way out, or *something*. It was n't very difficult to find someone, considering I crashed into someone's fence. I figured being proactive, as opposed to waiting the decades it could potentially take for my people to come back here, would be a much better use of my time. A very slick looking car stops next to us, the back door opened by a rather dapper young woman. 
 
 The passenger window rolled down slowly to reveal a man in his early 40's. 
 
 `` Please,'' he starts, a grin going across his face, `` we've got quite the tour for you...''
