[ WP ] You find a envelope on your doorstep with $ 500 and a letter saying `` Remarkable performance today . There 's more if you keep it up . '' You 're a single mother who could really use the cash , but you do n't know why you got it . The only `` remarkable '' thing you did today was scrape your knee ...

I looked down at the money. I looked down at my knee, still aching beneath the bandage. I looked over at my baby girl, still napping in the crib. `` Five hundred dollars for a knee. Five hundred dollars for a knee.'' I decided to scrape the other one. Fifty hours of work ( with tax exemptions ) versus tripping and scraping my knee? Of course I'd take the latter. I took the cheese grater to the restroom, pressed down hard, and screamed. 
 
 The envelope came in the next day. `` You're doing great! Keep it up and you'll earn so much money!'' No money. I cried out in frustration, waking my girl. I looked at the knife rack... 
 
 `` We ruled it as a suicide. She tried once with the cheese grater, then sawed her leg off with the bread knife. It was n't pretty. She died from blood loss,'' the coroner wore a tight-lipped expression as he handed over his report. 
 
 `` We did n't find any evidence of foul play. Strange thing, though. She left a note. But it was n't the standard'goodbye cruel world'. Kind of more like a will. Said she wanted to leave all of her money to her kid, but she was almost broke.'' The officer took the manila envelope and tucked it beneath his armpit. 
 
 `` Yeah?'' 
 
 `` Yeah. Just had about 500 bucks left over from some singing competition a few years back. Probably would've spent that too, if the mailman was n't so fuckin' late with the fan mail.''
