[ IP ] I 'm Done As Promised < 3 Mom [ possible NSFW ]

`` She's always protecting you.'' 
 
 My dad had always told me that my mom was watching over us. Ever since she had died giving birth to me, he had said that she was always watching my shoulder. When I was young, that was what I believed. 
 
 He gave me a chalk one day and said, `` Whenever you are alone, write to your mother.'' 
 
 `` Why?'' 
 
 `` It's a special chalk,'' he assured, `` Your mother will be able to see everything you write with this chalk.'' After that, I was determined that my mom would protect me no matter what. In hindsight, it was probably an ordinary piece of chalk, but as a kid it meant the world to me. 
 
 Of course when I was 8, a couple of the other boys during recess asked me about my parents and about the chalk. 
 `` I live alone with my dad.'' The answer was simple. 
 
 `` Why?'' one of the bigger kids had asked. He was a simple kid that liked to poke fun of everyone. Maybe he had his own problems, maybe he did n't. Last time I heard of him, he had his own logistics company, `` Did your parents divorce?'' 
 
 `` No, my mom's in heaven,'' I pipped cheerfully, `` But she's always looking out for me!'' 
 
 I never found out what was so funny, nor did I understand why everyone was laughing at me. But I do remember the senseless beatings I had received several years henceforth, kids poking fun and asking `` Where is your mom now?'' and `` Why are you still writing with chalk?'' 
 
 I never let my dad know, but I always wrote on the sidewalk in front of our house, letting her know how my day was. 
 
 *Mommy, I ate my carrots today. * 
 
 *Mommy, I drew a picture of you in heaven. * 
 
 *Mommy, I miss you. * 
 
 But as I grew older, the messages were written less and less, but I had always kept the tiny bit of chalk in the back of my wallet. 
 
 Then came *that* day. 
 
 I was in love with soccer in high school and made the team my freshman year. And would n't you know it? My dad was n't able to drive me to my first home game, the big one. The one that would establish my popularity. Do n't laugh, we all thought like that in high school. 
 
 `` I'm sorry, Andrew,'' he apologized that morning, `` But I got a meeting and I wo n't be able to help you.'' I was silent, betrayed by the fact that I would n't be able to play. In hindsight, I could've probably called a friend but I could n't control my emotions as I shouted, `` THIS IS WHY YOU ARE N'T MOM!'' 
 
 The dad was silent but left without saying another word. I saw the tear fall down his cheek as he went to work, and I felt awful. My dad was both my dad and mom growing up, and here I was being insensitive. 
 
 I took out my chalk and scribbled the last message I would ever write on the sidewalk. 
 
 *I hate you. * 
 
 My mother had abandoned me when I needed her the most. She was never there for me. She was n't there for my first word, or my first steps. I was filled with anger that day and chucked my chalk out into the woods. I never needed it again, and I had accepted that my mother was gone from my life. Or rather, she had never been there. 
 
 Life had moved on and soon, I went to college out-of-state. My dad had sent the occasional text and money, asking how I was doing. It killed me over the years as I studied, whenever I got drunk I would always ask myself, `` What were the colors of my mom's eyes? What was her favorite song?'' I never knew love and graduated with a degree in engineering and a few friends. 
 
 And it was the night before graduation. Every damn paper turned in, every thesis corrected and submitted, and every exam was done. My roommates and I hosted a party, the biggest one we had hosted as everyone continued to get drunk. The music and alcohol was relaxing, but by the end of the night all of my roommates had left the place with other friends of the female variety. 
 
 `` Are you not coming?'' one of them asked me. 
 
 `` Naw,'' I let him down easy, `` I'm going to relax.'' 
 
 I cleaned up the apartment slowly to some Sara Bareilles. As I hummed `` Gravity'' to myself, I could n't help but notice the pavement on our balcony. Some smart ass had brought some chalk along and decided to scribble all over the floor. I gave a small chuckle and wrote a small message. 
 
 *I'm done as promised. * 
 
 It was short, but it conveyed all the frustration I had to deal with in my life until then. But realizing the landlord would have a fit, I washed down the pavement, erasing all the messages for an hour and threw the chalk away. I recycled the empty bottles and rearranged everything in its proper place. I went to bed slightly drunk but satisfied. 
 
 I woke up to a call the next day from my father. It was strange, because he never usually called. 
 
 `` Hey dad.'' 
 
 `` Andrew, how are you?'' 
 
 `` Just a little tired, what's up?'' I yawned. 
 
 `` I had a dream about your mother yesterday night,'' his voice was shaking, `` She told me that she's proud of you.'' 
 
 I sighed a little. `` Dad, we've been over this,'' I began, `` I know you love her, but we need to-'' 
 
 `` No Andrew,'' he interrupted, `` She told me to tell you that you might have forgotten her, but she has never forgotten you.'' 
 
 I scoffed as he continued, `` We both love you, Andrew.'' 
 
 `` Alright Dad,'' I began to hang up, `` I'll talk to you later.'' 
 
 I hung up the call without waiting for a response. My stomach began to rumble but I did n't feel the desire to cook. `` Maybe I can get some Dennys,'' I muttered as I reached for my wallet, `` Hangover food's the best.'' I walked out of the bedroom with a fresh T shirt and jeans, looking around the place as I left. 
 
 Something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. 
 
 The balcony pavement. A scribbled message was still there from last night. 
 
 *But that's impossible, I erased everything. * 
 
 I moved closer and froze, a tear forming in the corner of my eye as I read the message I had scribbled last night. 
 
 *I'm done as promised. * 
 
 It was my handwriting, but I knew I had erased it. I reached into my wallet and looked through the back pocket. In there, I found the very same small piece of chalk that I had thrown into the woods all those years ago. 
 
 Below my message were two words written with it. 
 
 *Love, Mom. * 
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 Shoutout to /u/MikoLassen. Sub to /r/AvuKamu if you like BBQ and tears.
