[ WP ] It has been quite some time since Great Britain has called upon it 's Knights . This morning every person , celebrity , and politician Knighted by The Queen received a letter demanding they report for duty in service of The Kingdom , signed by her Majesty .

Her Majesty the Queen Elizabeth II, Monarch of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and Head of the Commonwealth of Nations, 
 
 Hereby calls upon all knighted subjects of the Realm to come to the dutiful service of the Crown. 
 
 Recent events have brought into question the loyalty of certain high-ranking members of the armed forces and the political system to their Kingdom and their rightful Queen. Over countless centuries and bloody battles, the Monarchy has withstood and overcome greater challenges to its status as the unfailing bastion of the Realm and the British spirit it guards. In this moment of uncertainty, it must be ever more swift and certain in dealing with the adversity which struck those whose life serves no other purpose than that of the Country. 
 
 So as to ensure the integrity and sovereignty of our Nation's most supreme institution, Her Majesty has invoked and declared absolute powers, disbanded the treacherous Parliament, and ordered the arrest of the orchestrators of this most vile conspiracy against the Royal Family and the Crown. The Tower of London has been restored to its historical purpose as the detention site of these individuals until proper punitive action can be taken for their heinous acts of High Treason. 
 
 Being called to defend the Realm at an hour of dire need is undoubtedly the greatest honour any subject of the Crown will ever have. As such, the Monarch requires the service of Her loyal and noble subjects which, by virtue of their remarkable actions, have been granted the Knighthood. Their unflinching response is to be expected and, as soon as normality is restored, those who promptly do their duty will be rewarded with Lordships, Dukedoms, and a seat as advisors to their Absolute Monarch. 
 
 The nature of their service will vary, taking into account their unique skills and experience, and the Knights will be assigned tasks individually forged for them. Nevertheless, all Knights are expected at Buckingham Palace within one week from the writing of this letter, where they will be given a suit of armor and a horse, as well as the training that befits a true servant of Her Majesty. 
 
 Their finest service will be forever remembered as a paramount moment in British history. 
 
 Godspeed and God Save The Queen.
