[ WP ] You are a lawyer who specializes in crafting incorruptible wishes for dealing with mischievous genies .

`` Now if you'll just sign here, and initial here...'' I risked a glance up at the massive figure hovering over us, as my latest client affixed her name to the contract. I should have been more than used to the presence of genies by now, but a seven-foot tall being of smokeless fire burning bright in my office never failed to give me a little thrill. `` And there we go.'' Sondra straightened up, handing me back my pen as she grinned up smugly at the genie. `` The complete text of my client's wish.'' 
 
 The genie said nothing, merely scowled as he scooped up the sheaf of papers in one meaty hand. `` Thank you so much, Mr. Bilis,'' Sondra said to me. `` When I found that lamp and the genie came out of it - well, I've heard the stories, have n't I? And I was so worried about messing something up! But when I saw your ads, I just knew-'' 
 
 `` Yes, yes,'' the genie boomed, riffling through the pages. `` Very clever, mortal. I'm sure you're quite pleased with yourself. In any case, this all seems to be in order.'' He expanded, muscles swirling outward like smoke, flames coming to life beneath the skin. I felt Sondra grab my arm. The genie waved his hand, the contract busting into cinders and tracing burning words in the air. `` Wish granted!'' 
 
 I watched Sondra, watched that anxious avaricious grin freeze on her face, watched the first note of pure panic reach her eyes. I carefully extracted my arm from her grip. `` W-w-what-'' Her voice was choked, the veins standing taut in her throat. `` Whaaa... whaaaa...'' 
 
 `` Ah, yes,'' I said, flicking a speck of ash off my suit. The genie relaxed, spreading above the both of us like a roof ablaze. `` That would be Section II, paragraph 13, in which you granted control over your physical form to the genie.'... continued maintenance of all bodily functions,' remember?'' I looked up. `` Do let her talk. It's more fun that way.'' 
 
 There was a deep chuckle like thunder, and Sondra gasped in a breath, her legs going weak beneath her as she collapsed to her knees. `` Buh - but -'' she stammered. `` All your clients! All the genies! They all - they all turned out all right!'' 
 
 `` But of course,'' I said, kicking her just below the collarbone. She made a small noise and collapsed, crawling at my feet. `` Section V, paragraph 2.'The client must demonstrate satisfaction...''' I crouched down to look her in her stupid pale face. `` And you will demonstrate satisfaction, all right.'' I watched her mouth turn upward in an unwilling smile even as the tears came running down her cheeks. `` Say it, Sondra. Let's hear it.'' 
 
 `` Mr. Bilis worked perfectly for me!'' she chirped, finally speaking normally again. `` I got everything I wished for and I've never been happier!'' I watched the trembles of her face, the slow collapsing ruin behind her eyes. `` Wh - why?'' she whispered. `` Oh god why?'' 
 
 `` Well it's very simple, Sondra,'' I said, taking a seat on my desk. `` A couple of millennia ago, one of you human beings found a genie. And he was just smart enough to realize how very, very stupid he was. So his first wish was for someone smart enough to help him make the perfect wish.'' I smoothed a hand through my hair. `` And so he got me. You see, Sondra, like all you mortals, he was the tool of his own destruction. He did n't think to specify who the wish would be perfect for.'' 
 
 `` Enough talk,'' the genie boomed above me. He reached one massive hand down and closed it around her throat. His face gleamed like bronze. `` The indignity of servitude. The agony of bondage. Oh, how delicious it is to return the favor.'' 
 
 `` So very, very stupid,'' I said to myself, closing my eyes and listening to her screams. `` And this is n't the worst of it, Sondra. You should see what I snuck into the fine print!''
