[ WP ] A man orders a `` cheese pizza with no crust '' from a local pizza delivery joint as a joke . Unbeknownst to him , that pizza joint is a drug front and he just placed an order for a kilo of cocaine .

“ Thirty five. ” 
 
 The kid, whose baseball cap was on backwards like it was the middle of the nineties again, was holding a bundle under his arm, wrapped up in a brown paper bag that was way too small to be a pizza. 
 
 “ Alright, I get it. I thought I was funny. It was n't funny. I did n't actually want a block of cheese kid, it was a joke. ” 
 
 “ Thirty five. ” 
 
 This time he held his hand out, the look on his face speaking volumes about how much he did n't want to deal with this shit right now. 
 
 “ Alright, alright, but thirty five is a little steep for cheese you know? What kind of cheese costs that much? ” 
 
 If I was being honest, I did n't buy cheese often enough to know first hand how much a block could cost. The only things in my fridge at that time were some condiments, a few bottles of light beer and leftovers from three weeks ago that I kept convincing myself would be fine to eat whenever I got around to it. Maybe I should have actually bought a pizza tonight instead of being a smart ass and loosing thirty five dollars for a damn block of cheese. 
 
 Fishing my wallet out of my back pocket, I held out a fifty and raised a brow at the teen. “ You got any change? ” 
 
 Suddenly clutching the bag more closely now, his eyes narrowed and he shifted his feet, glancing out at the road as though to be sure nobody was there waiting for him. 
 
 “ No, you idiot, it's thirty five thousand, how new are you at this? Is this a fucking sting? ” 
 
 “ What the hell are you talking about? No cheese costs that much! It was a prank call, I never thought you guys would fill the order! ” 
 
 “ Wh—cheese? Wait, who the fuck places a prank call order for a kilo of coke?! ” 
 
 His voice was hushed, but he was screaming as much as a person could hope to in the midst of whispering like this was some sort of dr -- - What!? 
 
 “ No, no way. That is not what I ordered. I did not order that. Is that what you have in the bag!? I ordered a cheese pizza with no crust! ” 
 
 “ Yeah! ” the kid was hissing now, fingers clenching anxiously against the brown paper. “ Exactly, and that's code for a kilo of coke. If I bring this back my boss is going to have my ass! ” 
 
 Holding my hands up, I took a stride back into the house and shook my head. “ Well I do n't have that kind of money! ” 
 
 A police cruiser rolled down the street, and I could only imagine that I looked like as much of a deer in the headlights as I thought I did, because the delivery driver grit his teeth and ground under his breath a stern. “ Hand me the fifty bucks. ” Operating on auto pilot, my eyes still locked none so subtly on the police car, I held out the hand that the bill was crumpled in and dropped the sweaty thing into his hand. 
 
 Shoving the bag into my arms, the kid caught my eye and held it with an intensity I did n't even think possible on that pock ridden face. “ Now, ” he muttered. “ I'll be back for the rest of that money in a week, so you better start getting real creative. ” 
 
 As he jogged back to the beat up old Honda haphazardly parked at the end of the driveway, I somehow managed to shut the door behind him. 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- 
 
 “ Sir? ” Snapped back to the present, I blinked at the travel agent in her smart pantsuit and wondered briefly if she took her job too seriously. “ Sir, you said Mexico is where you'd like to book a cruise to? Anything particular you're looking for from your trip? ” 
 
 “ Oh... ” Scratching the back of my neck and chuckling under my breath, I shrugged. “ You know, tacos and shit. I love Mexican food. You can uh, only eat so much pizza right? ”
