[ WP ] One day you realize you are The One

Whoa. Did that just seriously happen? That was a fucking tanker truck that flew over my head. And hit a police helicopter. A thousand feet in the air. I am seriously on a streak today... I should play the lottery. Well, if I live through today. As of now, that does n't seem too likely. 
 
 I count six, no, seven police cars on my tail right now. The train I'm on top of is about to pass through a tunnel, so hopefully I'll lose some of them. This is n't even my fault! I was just minding my own business behind the gas station, smoking... something... when a car did a triple flip onto the roof. What are the odds? I had just watched the Matrix 2 and was trying to forget all about it, and now this shit had to go and happen. Anyways, I jumped onto the roof ( what the fuck is in this pipe?? ) and pulled the girl out. It was kind of weird though, she was wearing sunglasses and a suit and looked a lot like Hugo Weaving. And she punched me! What the hell kind of thanks is that? So I threw her back in the car and rolled it off the roof. Now the police are after me. I guess I kind of deserved that. 
 
 Anyways, now I'm on a train and it's not slowing down and I'm about to go into a tunnel. Wow, that awning looks awfully low. Really low. Does it say “ Low Clearance? ” SHIT SHIT! I'm not jumping, the train's going like 60 miles an hour... okay, LIMBO! 
 
 Wow, that actually worked. I'm at a right angle to the train now and still standing. How does that work? At least I still have my pipe, and some more of whatever that stuff is. Maybe I should give it a rest. Nah. 
 
 Okay. I'm out of the tunnel. Looks like I've lost all of the cops, too. The train's about go go across a highway overpass and it looks like it is slowing down. Maybe I can just jump gently down and... roll... a bit. 
 
 Okay, so I overshot a bit. That train was going a lot faster than I thought. And I'm higher up than I thought. Wow, the road is coming up pretty fast. And is that a semi? I bet I could just grab onto the side and... 
 
 It looks like I grabbed onto a semi going seventy miles an hour after falling fifty feet out of a moving train going sixty miles an hour. Do I have super powers? Am I the One? Why is that girl from the gas station who looks like Hugo Weaving standing on the back of the semi with me holding a pistol? Well, she was pretty easy to take down last time. But now she's got a gun. All I have is my pipe. Fuck! I guess I'll just huck it at her and try and knock her off the semi. But now she's shooting at me! Those are slow bullets though – I can kind of bend around them. Who owns a gun that shoots at like five miles an hour? Well, time to throw the pipe. 
 
 I just killed Hugo Weaving. And now I'm coming down.
