[ WP ] You 've been finding a lot of loose change in your couch lately . It turns out it 's the tiny speaking spider paying rent .

Bzzzt.. Bzzzt.. 
 
 A hand darted out from beneath a tangle of blankets, groping blindly across the surface of the end table next to the bed. 
 
 Bzzzt.. Bzzzt.. 
 
 A man sat upright and flung the covers away. He wiped the sleep from his eyes. 
 
 Bzzzt.. Bzzzt.. 
 
 A groan escaped his lips. He picked a small flip phone up off the end table, `` Stacey'' flashed across the display. `` Nope'' he said to himself as he bounced the call. 
 
 Ding.. 
 
 A text message. `` Oh for fucks sake, what?!'' He flipped the phone open and scanned the screen, `` Jack, could you please call me when you get this, it's important. Seriously call me back this time.'' His hands absent mindedly ran through his hair. `` Well that ca n't be good'' he said to no one in particular. 
 
 Jack swung his legs off the bed, paused for a moment, and surveyed his kingdom. He shimmied into a pair of jeans that had been heaped up on the floor then began rifling through a pile of laundry at the foot of his bed for a shirt. `` Nope'' he tossed a tee shirt away, another failed the smell test, third time was the charm. 
 
 Cigarettes, that's what this day needed. Certainly they would be needed if he was to have any serious discussion with his on again off again girlfriend. The pack on the dresser was empty, `` Piss'' he muttered. There was a walk to the gas station in his immediate future. One laced up pair of tennis shoes later and he was mostly ready to head out. 
 
 A thought occurred, he should probably bring his wallet. It took a few minutes to find the wallet among the clutter of his tiny one bedroom apartment. There was another disappointment waiting inside, it was nearly empty. `` Fuuuuck.'' Two dollars. That was it, all he had to his name for the moment. That was n't enough he needed at least three fifty. A frantic search of the apartment began. 
 
 Drawers were opened, pants pockets checked, things were strewn about, and much pacing was done. He was storming through the living room when the couch caught his eye. There was an eerie run of luck coming from that thing here lately, in fact it had been months since he failed to find change in it. 
 
 In the midst of running his hands down between the cushions he felt a sudden jolt of pain in his left hand. `` Ow, what the hell!'' he danced away from the couch, shaking the sting from his hand. `` Oh gods I'm so sorry'' came a faint voice. `` Do n't worry about it'' Jack replied reflexively as he rubbed his hand. A wave of panic washed across his face `` Who's there!? Who the hell is in my house?'' 
 
 `` Wait, wait, wait, do n't panic'' said a voice soft as a fine silk. `` I've uhh.. I've been here for a while now, I hope you've been finding the change I leave for you.'' Jack blinked, it took a moment for the gears in his head to begin spinning again. `` Been here for a while? Change..'' he whispered. `` Yes the change in the couch, I hoped we had an agreement. The change in return for you ignoring my presence'' came the reply. 
 
 `` Where the fuck..'' Jack began scanning the room slowly, looking for the intruder. A small eight legged form scurried up on the the arm of the couch `` Perhaps this would be easier if I revealed myself.'' There was a heavy silence. `` I know it seems... unorthodox but, well, I'm a spider''. Jack simply nodded, he was too numb with shock to really process the words. 
 
 Bzzzt... 
 
 The phone was ringing again, this time from inside one of his pants pockets. `` Stacey?'' the small, fine, voice asked. Jack slid the phone out, checked the screen, and nodded slowly. `` She seems like a sweet girl, perhaps you should answer it? We can finish this conversation later.''. 
 
 

