[ WP ] A man orders a `` cheese pizza with no crust '' from a local pizza delivery joint as a joke . Unbeknownst to him , that pizza joint is a drug front and he just placed an order for a kilo of cocaine .

DING DONG 
 
 omg pizzas here 
 
 i open the door to find a young hispanic male who was n't in uniform that looked very anxious. 
 
 uh, how much for the pizza? I asked, breaking the awkward silence 
 
 he looks as me like I just told him the biggest joke in his life. 
 
 keeping eye contact with me, he slowly says `` cheese pizza, no crust, we've got it, you know the price'' 
 
 this was the most serious delivery person i've seen in my life, and I pull out my wallet. again, I ask, `` so how much do I owe you'' 
 
 his eyes widen and he glances over my shoulders. then immediately bolts back to his car. 
 
 Bewildered, I shut the door and call the pizza place back. nobody picks up. 
 
 Frustrated and confused, I retreat to my room and go back to watching narcos on Netflix. 
 
 About 15 minutes in, I hear a `` pop'' noise downstairs and glass breaking. And a lot more followed. It was the sound of projectiles flying through the air and landing in my house. I realized it was bullets and I quickly climb under my bed, covering my head. 
 
 The shooting stopped. Footsteps creaked on my hardwood floors below. `` Vamanos! Donde esta el gringo?'' 
 
 I quickly reach for the baseball bat propped up next to my bed. 
 
 The men can be heard walking up the stairs. They check my bathroom, the guest room, then they reach my room at the end of the hall. 
 
 My heart is pounding but I keep cool. 
 
 Slowly, the men open the door into my room, one after another. 
 
 With all my strength, I land the bat on the second guy. The first guy swings around as I cock the baseball bat. 
 
 Shots fire out, and I hear my ears ringing. I look down and I see two men lying in their own blood. Gingerly, I step over them and I grab my cellphone. 
 
 Check your corners, recanting the words of Jim Gordon in the Dark Knight Rises. 
 
 I bolt out of the back door to my neighbors. 
 
 The wail of half a dozen cop cars could be heard as they surrounded my house. Paramedics came out with two handcuffed men. 
 
 I was taken in for questioning as apparently I had caught members of two of the most prolific drug operation in town. They questioned my purchase, but they tested me for drugs and saw that my background was clean. 
 
 They let me go. 
 
 As I was walking out of the door, I breathed a sigh of relief. My competition was going to be taken down slowly, all thanks to the local police department. 
 
 

