[ WP ] A man suddenly gains the ability to talk to his shadow . As they converse , it becomes apparent the shadow is real and the man is what the shadow casts .

I was sitting on a park bench, circling the names of horses in a newspaper, when my shadow said “ I would n't go for that one if I were you. ” 
 
 
 I looked at the name of the horse I'd just finished circling and scratched my nose with the wrong end of my pencil. Once satiated, I felt I was justified to ask, “ Why, what's wrong with the Jolly Victor? ” 
 
 
 “ Oh, you know... ” 
 
 
 “ No, I do n't know. That's why I asked. ” 
 
 
 Truth be told, I was n't excited about the Jolly Victor either. I'd only circled its name because one of the guys at the racetrack had been raving about that particular horse winning him 500 dollars. Not bad, I'd thought. But I did n't like the horse's name, and knowing that, there was no way I'd ever put any money down, whatever the odds. Besides, I'd only circled three other horses so far, so I needed to lengthen my short list. You ca n't have a short list of just three horses, that would be utterly nuts. Absurd, actually. So I'd circled the Jolly Victor knowing full well I would cross him out again in a few minutes. But I had to circle him now, as part of my process. 
 
 
 Of course, my shadow did n't know any of that. 
 
 
 “ Well, I would n't want to say, ” my shadow said. 
 
 
 “ Fine. ” 
 
 
 So we sat in silence while I decided which horse to circle next. 
 
 
 It just so happens that the next horse was called Swift Shadow. When I circled that horse, my own shadow let out a sharp inhalation. I think he was expressing some form of excitement, though I could n't be sure. 
 
 
 “ How did you do that? ” I asked. 
 
 
 “ What? ” 
 
 
 “ It sounded like you both inhaled and exhaled at the same time. ” 
 
 
 “ It's not difficult when you do n't have lungs. You should try it. ” 
 
 
 “ I have lungs though, so I ca n't do such a thing at all. Besides, it was a very rude sound to make. ” 
 
 
 “ Are you sure you have lungs? ” 
 
 
 I did n't bother answering my shadow's question because I could n't see this conversation going anywhere useful. 
 
 
 “ I mean, have you ever seen your lungs? ” 
 
 
 “ No, ” I snapped angrily. 
 
 
 “ Then why do you think you have any? I do n't think that you do have lungs, in fact. ” 
 
 
 “ Well, I do have lungs and that's that. ” 
 
 
 “ Okay then, ” said my shadow as though he were talking to a petulant child who'd refused to accept that he was n't actually a firetruck. 
 
 
 I scowled and circled one more horse called Peppermint. For a moment, I thought my shadow raised an eyebrow, but then I dismissed the idea because everyone knows shadows do n't have the facial capacity for eyebrows. 
 
 
 “ Right, let's go to the racetrack, ” I said. 
 
 
 So together we trumped along the pavement. The sun was quite bright, so I held my hand above my forehead, allowing my shadow to cover my eyes, and letting me see where we were going. I was aware of a peculiar dark lightness to my body that I'd never noticed before. Not another bloody fever, I thought. 
 
 
 When we got to the racetrack, I took the newspaper from beneath my arm and unfolded it across a free space at one of their tables. My shadow relaxed against a nearby wall. 
 
 
 It was time to shorten my short list. 
 
 
 At that point, my short list had six names: 
 
 
 - Pablosky 
 - Cool Pal 
 - Key Witness 
 - Jolly Victor 
 - Swift Shadow 
 - Peppermint 
 
 
 The first horse I crossed off my list was the Jolly Victor, and my shadow made a clicking sound to show his approval. 
 
 
 Without too much more thought, I crossed off Pablosky next. Although I'd heard great things about that horse, its name reminded me too much of the previous weekend when I'd consumed far too much vodka and ended up sleeping with a forty-five year old cougar covered in sagging tattoos of birds. 
 
 
 After that, it took me about ten minutes to cross off Cool Pal and Peppermint. My shadow remained relatively silent throughout that process, despite occasional humms and hahs as my pencil passed over each name in turn. 
 
 
 That meant I was left with Key Witness and Swift Shadow. It took me ten minutes of further deliberation to conclude that I could n't decide. So I asked my shadow. 
 
 
 “ Which horse do you reckon we should go for, then? ” 
 
 
 “ Hmm? ” My shadow attempted to feign that he'd been thinking about something else. “ Uhm, well. Let's see. Humm. Err.. ” 
 
 
 “ Yes? ” I prompted. 
 
 
 “ Swift Shadow, ” said my shadow. 
 
 
 So I crossed Swift Shadow off my list and stood up to approach the betting booth. 
 
 
 “ Hey! ” shouted my indignant shadow. “ What the heck do you think you're playing at? We're voting for Swift Shadow. ” 
 
 
 “ No, I'm voting for Key Witness. ” 
 
 
 “ That's a terrible name, so I forbid it. ” 
 
 
 I laughed a little at the thought of my shadow trying to stop me. 
 
 
 Half-way to the booth, I tripped, or stumbled, or fell or something like that and suddenly I was looking up at myself saying “ Swift Shadow, please ” to the craggy betting lady. 
 
 
 “ Wait, what? ” I said from the floor. 
 
 
 “ Haha! That'll show you, ” said my shadow. 
 
 
 “ What's going on? ” 
 
 
 “ We've swapped places, ” my shadow explained. 
 
 
 “ What? How? Why?! ” 
 
 
 “ Well, these things happen when people talk to their shadows, ” said my body-possessing shadow. 
 
 
 “ Oh right, I see. Well, fair enough then, I guess. ” 
 
 
 After the bet had been placed, we walked to the side of the racetrack and watched the horses ready themselves. 
 
 
 I thought for a little bit and then said to my shadow, “ I do n't suppose you have much experience with operating a body, so let me know if you've got any quibbles or questions or anything. ” 
 
 
 “ I do have one question actually, as it so happens. ” 
 
 
 “ Oh? ” 
 
 
 “ Yeah. What is this... whatd'yamacallit for? ” 
 
 
 “ What whatd'yamacallit is that? ” 
 
 
 The shadow pulled down our jeans and boxers, gripped our penis firmly in our right hand and waved it around at all the other gamblers. 
 
 
 “ This whatd'yamacallit, ” said my shadow.
