[ PI ] You 're the lone survivor of a zombie apocalypse simply because zombies are n't interested in you .

I wake up, rubbing my eyes as I hop out of the bed. I yawn, stretch, and wander around for the next 30 seconds trying to remember where the wardrobe is. When I manage to find it, my t-shirt and shorts come on and I head down to the hotel lobby for breakfast. It's quite a nice place; there's a massive chandelier hanging in the middle of the room, which was switched off - damn, I woke early - there were marble pillars and nice-looking patterned tiles. The staircase also had tiles, with red-gold lining on the edges of the stairs. 
 
 As I come down, I see the doorman, John, who I recognize by the latex horse mask I put on his head. He never really talks to me. It's always worth a shot, though... 
 
 `` Good morning, John.'' I give him a courteous nod as I walk by. He does n't reply. Shame. 
 
 I get to the cloth-draped breakfast tables, which are clean for the most part - a rude hotel guest had inconsiderately smeared blood on some parts of the table - and I nab a blueberry muffin, stride outside past the fancy gilded doors and into the early morning, where my friend Frank awaits me, tied against one of the marble pillars. 
 
 Frank slowly turns his head towards me and mumbles something like, `` Aigharagm.'' I tell him how dashing his forehead scars are, and sit myself down against another pillar, opposite him. 
 
 `` So,'' I begin, mouth stuffed with muffin, `` how was your night?'' 
 
 Frank looks at me with dead, cold eyes. `` Aum.... or... gn.'' Showing off his Latin. 
 
 `` Jolly good.'' 
 
 We stay there together in companionable silence as I eat. Around us, people slowly shuffle about the streets, walking to their jobs. I notice Frank eyeing the muffin. `` Want some?'' I extend my arm to offer the half-eaten muffin to him. 
 
 `` Arghmah.'' The loose half of his jaw rattles as he talks. I shrug and continue eating. `` Guess that's a no.'' 
 
 
 Later in the day, I wander around the city with Frank trailing behind me, led by my rope. In the midst of the crowd, a ridiculously tall top-hat can be seen bobbing around. Excited, I rush forward, dragging Frank along as I do so. 
 
 `` TRAVIS!'' I'm yelling, and half the city is staring at me while I run forward. `` HEY, TRAVIS!'' 
 
 My breath comes out short and ragged as I reach Travis. Frank does n't seem to be even sweating. 
 
 Travis is a good friend of mine, because he's the only person that seems to want to talk to me. 
 
 `` Ahmah!'' he says, pleased to see me. 
 
 `` Pleased to meet you again, Travis.'' I shake his hand, and it falls off. 
 
 We share a lovely conversation in which I compliment his hat, and then we part ways, Travis groaning about his office job. 
 
 
 I am now walking down 5th avenue and reach the corner, where there's a gloomy- looking costume shop. I look up at the logo above the doors, which reads `` STEVE'S HIGH QUALITY COSTUMES - SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!'' 
 
 I hurriedly tie Frank to a nearby signpost, and enter the store. It's dark inside, and smelly - the lights are off, there's a dead rat under a zebra costume, and the shop owner appears to be sleeping on the counter. I walk up and ring the bell. She does n't move. I ring the bell again. Still no response. I poke her shoulder. The woman keels over and collapses on the floor, and now I notice half her face is missing. Eugh. 
 
 I look around the dingy shop, taking my time as I pick out tasteful clothing for my friends. There's a harlequin costume, a clown costume, a werewolf suit, a tattered-looking masquerade ball dress, and the zebra that I noticed before is in a group of animal costumes. I pick out a monocle ( which I attempt to wear before it is accidentally dropped and shattered ), an impeccable suit, a feathery pink scarf, a bat costume, and a small flowery hat, which I put on the shop owner's head to thank her and to cover her face. 
 
 
 Night draws near as I return to the hotel with Frank, who is now dressed up in the suit. John is still at the door, and I reward him for his dedication with the pink scarf. The last item that I still have is the bat costume, which is given to Bruce, another hotel patron who was kind enough to let me take his seat at the breakfast table yesterday. 
 Frank takes his place at his marble pillar, and I have an apple from the still-full breakfast table before I go up to my room. 
 
 Apologies for any bad formatting or writing mistakes
