[ WP ] You wake up to hear `` ... repeat , this is not a drill . '' coming from your radio , and then silence .

`` It's the Ram Slammer Hammer 3000! Now YOU, yes YOU can flail a nail without fail on your next home project! 
 
 Billy Mays here, and I've got just what you need! 
 
 Bending the head? Do n't be caught dead. 
 
 Bashing your thumb? That's just dumb! 
 
 Hit a part that you did n't wan na smash? That's cash in trash. 
 
 Sure, it's not a drill. But when your wife needs something done, she sounds too shrill! 
 
 9 easy payments of $ 15 bucks gets you back in the sack, 
 
 nailing her special project so that you can relax. 
 
 Call today for our special offer, 
 
 Do n't let Javier butt slam your daughter 
 
 Hang a picture to keep your wife subdued, 
 
 instead of Craigslisting that hung strange dude! 
 
 Low credit, slow credit, no credit? 
 
 Just hit this post with a gold, and gild it on Reddit.'' 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

