[ WP ] in the future , the super rich have achieved immortality for hundreds of years , granting more power than ever . They forgot one thing though , that one hero of the middle class 500 years ago who stole the serum for themselves ... you .

I looked behind me. Thousands upon thousands of people dressed in rags hushed themselves into silenece, waiting for one last speech, one last rallying cry. 
 
 In just 5 minutes, the bombs on the wall were going to explode, releasing my army into Wall Street. Of course, there was only going to be one person there: Ozzy Osborne, the one person on planet Ozz who did drugs so hard he became immortal. He made himself God, keeping all of the world's drugs to himself. 
 
 But he did n't know he had a match, another person like him. 500 years ago, I managed to become 90 % marijuana, rendering myself unable to be harmed physically or emotionally. 
 
 `` Give us a speech, Snoop!'' Someone called. 
 
 `` I, uh...'' 
 
 They stared back at me, the only sound being the relentless ticking of the bomb behind me. 
 
 `` Go get'em!'' I yelled, and the crowd roared, ready to take back what belonged to their ancestors. 
 
 The bomb exploded. 
 
 My army poured into Wall Street, and the enormous Ozzbots immediately shot at them with heavy gold missiles. Bodies flew. Blood drizzled on the shoulders of what men remained. 
 
 Leisurely, I strolled through it all. An Ozzbomb smashed into my face, and the world appeared as though it exploded, engulfed in flames. Soldiers around me became burned skeletons in an instant. To me, it was more like a gentle warmth. 
 
 When I entered the Empire State Building, the battle still ravaged behind me. Slowly, I climbed the stairs, so that the sounds of screams and explosions behind me faded away. 
 
 At the top of the stairs was a heavy oak door. I pushed it open, finding a man sitting down surrounded by syringes, powders and pills of varying types. Among his trove, was a mountain of weed. 
 
 Ozzy Osborne, now morbidly obese, screamed at me. `` Hey, get outta here!'' He wore a purple top hat with a clean white jacket. 
 
 `` Nah,'' I replied, surveying the room. Enormous windows on each side revealed the carnage on the streets below. 
 
 `` Come oooon! Just leave!'' He screeched, waving an electric guitar that seemed miniscule compared to his massive body. 
 
 `` Okay,'' I said, `` but give the wonderful people of the world your drugs.'' 
 
 `` No!'' He pouted, and crossed his arms. 
 
 I strolled over to Ozzy and pushed him over. He now lay on his back, arms and legs flailing. 
 
 `` Hey! Help me up!'' 
 
 `` No,'' I said, and Ozzy Osborne was defeated.
