[ WP ] There is one last stick of magical gum in your pocket .

*'Last piece....'* 
 It was less of a thought and more of a realization. Something that the mind gives just enough notice to give form to words, but nothing more. Mechanically, he released pale, colorless rectangle from its foil prison. As the strip entered his mouth, he was greeted with a generic sweetness. 
 *'Fruity Juice.'* 
 The gum gave little resistance at first, not unlike the foes he faced. One such creature stood... well, really laid before him. It caught his eye that the orange reptilian's body had stopped oozing a dark liquid. Bang. The `` corpse'' gave a yelp as the.50 Action Express sent a chunk of its head flying. It was incredible what a Desert Eagle could do to flesh. 
 `` Play dead all you want... nothing's gon na stop the can of whoopass.'' 
 Having made his point, he moved on, taking special care to step on the dead alien's corpse. With a little aid from his steel tipped boots, the strip club's barred door smashed open. Alien apocalypse or not, there was always time for the ladies. In what should not have been a surprise, he was greeted not with the swaying form of the opposite sex, but by the guttural cries of the reptilians waiting in ambush. In times like these one would turn to some sage advice to survive. He did so. 
 `` Confucius says: die.'' 
 Before the alien's could even take advantage of their ploy, he had pulled out his second Desert Eagle. Any lesser man would have cringed at the concussive cacophony the shots made. He was no lesser man. 
 The battle was over before it began. From bar to strip pole, guts and blood covered the building. He gave an chew, approving of his handiwork. Now, it was for the next order of business.... 
 `` Do n't worry ladies, there's plenty of Duke to go around!'' 
 It was always fair to give them a heads up. To his disappointment, he did not recieve the jubilation he deserved, but a dying whisper. 
 `` They're... gone.'' 
 He turned to spot the source of the voice: a mildly overweight man, bald head bruised and bleeding. 
 `` Gone? Those assholes took the chicks?'' 
 The affirming grunt was all he needed to hear. The aliens had always been little shits, what with the shooting and killing. But, abducting the fairer gender? This was too far. 
 By this point, the Fruity Juice had lost all flavor. He spat it out, the splat of the gum drowned out by the clicks of pistols reloading. The aliens were no longer an inconvenience. No, they was personal. 
 `` It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum... and I'm all outta gum.''
