[ WP ] Humanity has achieved immortality . Due to resource concerns everyone must submit to a council their chosen manner of death at 150 . The more amusing the death the longer the council lets you live .

Do n't bother reading this, it's got a major logical flaw that I did n't realize until the end. I just do n't want to throw away what I've written. 
 
 _____________________________________ 
 
 `` She's done it. By God, she's beaten us at our own game.'' 
 
 Councilwoman Thursday grinned. 
 
 `` Oh, that's clever. That's *very* clever.'' 
 
 `` This is serious, Thursay,'' Friday scolded, `` We have to decide a course of action.'' 
 
 `` You know the course of action, Friday,'' said Monday, `` We must give her a seat on the Council.'' 
 
 `` This could mean the *collapse* of the Council.'' 
 
 Thursday rolled her eyes. `` You're being hyperbolic.'' 
 
 `` No, he's not,'' said Saturday, `` This is n't like the last time we added a new member.'' 
 
 Several members of the council quietly chuckled, remembering the man who proposed to be killed in a gladiator style fight-to-the-death in an ice rink against an unending supply of bloodthirsty giraffes. His submission earned him a pardon, and the seat of Sunday on the council. 
 
 Councilman Tuesday was brooding over the proposal. 
 
 `` But it is n't really her'death,' per se, that's funny, right?'' 
 
 Councilman Friday shook his head. 
 
 `` No. The law dictates that the execution be broadcast to the world for entertainment. She is judged by our prediction of the public's reaction.'' 
 
 Stubborn as always, Tuesday protested. 
 
 `` Come now, surely she ca n't dictate the specifications of the broadcast. The condemned can only choose the method of death.'' 
 
 Thursday laughed. 
 
 `` Oh, I'm sure there's a precedent for it. Secretary, can you check that for us?'' 
 
 The Secretary nodded. 
 
 `` She's trying to subvert the rules,'' said Wednesday, `` Just take out the broadcasting bit and give her 50 years.'' 
 
 Friday sighed. 
 
 `` We ca n't. Not unless the request is impossible for the Council to arrange.'' 
 
 `` But-'' 
 
 `` No but's,'' said Monday, `` Fair is fair.'' 
 
 `` But she *cheated*. We ca n't allow that to go unpunished.'' 
 
 `` Wednesday, finding a loophole is n't cheating.'' Thursday chuckled. `` Quite the opposite, it's an expression of supreme admiration for the rules.'' 
 
 The Secretary cleared his throat. `` If it would please the Council...'' Friday gestured for him to continue. `` In the case of Gabriel Marquet, the condemned was executed by having his skull injected with an explosive fluid and then detonated. He requested that it be broadcast in'slow motion,' which the Council interpreted as 50 % speed, and this was granted.'' 
 
 `` Dammit,'' muttered Tuesday. `` What are we supposed to do, then?'' 
 
 Thursday turned to Sunday. `` Thoughts, Sunny?'' 
 
 `` I told you not to call me that,'' Sunday said, `` And you all know how much it pains me to say this, but I agree with Thursday. The only solution is to grant her a seat on the Council.'' He turned to Wednesday. `` I'm sorry, but we are left with no alternative.'' 
 
 `` Hey, I got no problem with retirement,'' she said, `` What pisses me off is what this girl is doing to get a seat.'' 
 
 Thursday cheerfully sprang out of her seat. `` I move to grant this woman the seat of Wednesday on the Council.'' 
 
 `` Seconded,'' said Monday. 
 
 Thursday began to take the vote. `` Monday, how do you vote?'' 
 
 `` Yea.'' 
 
 `` Tuesday, how do you vote?'' 
 
 `` Nay.'' 
 
 `` Wednesday?'' 
 
 `` Nay.'' 
 
 `` Thurs- um, Yea.'' 
 
 `` Friday?'' 
 
 Friday sighed. `` We're going to have to forbid this sort of thing in the future. Yea.'' 
 
 `` Saturday?'' 
 
 `` Nay.'' 
 
 `` Sunday?'' 
 
 `` Yea.'' 
 
 `` By a vote of four to three, Elizabeth Navarro will assume the seat of Wednesday on the Council, for her ingenious execution proposal. Secretary?'' 
 
 The Secretary excused himself to bring in the new member. 
 
 `` I guess it was inevitable,'' the former Wednesday said, `` I admit, it was pretty clever, if more than a bit underhanded. The method of death was nothing special, but speeding it up and playing Yakety Sax in the background...'' 
 
 Thursday nodded. `` If we actually gave her 50 years and then executed her, the broadcast would have warranted an extra 20.''
