[ WP ] Write a murder from the perspective of a cheerful inanimate object

By the woodpile again. It's drizzling again and the water is sliding coolly off of my steel head, resting against the stump. Boy, that feels nice. Hear the boss man coming -- happy, too because it's been a good while since I've bit the wood! Boss man looks excited, and he's shouting something -- will be an energetic workout today! Oh, now he's taking me by the leg, swinging me about. Upside down, can see some froth coming from his lips. Boss man bringing me inside -- this is new. Boss man's wife is in the kitchen, shouting something, too. Everyone seems so excited. Boss man swings me -- did I miss the woodpile? Biting into something and shouting turns to screams. Screams of joy? Does n't matter, what I'm biting feels soft. Makes a strange thud, different than wood. Something hard, too. Biting again and again, and screaming stops. Boss man still frothing though, can see the whites of his eyes. Something wet on my steel. Red and hot. Feels nice, though. Good workout.
