[ WP ] You break into your neighbor 's house to steal some stuff . Unbeknownst to you , it is known as one of the most haunted homes in the country . Before you can exit , the Ghost Adventures van rolls up . Now you must escape with a group of people listening for your every move .

I lay as still as possible, keeping my breathing to an absolute minimum. My back was beginning to itch terribly from the attic fiberglass but I could n't afford to give myself away. I could hear that gobshite bagans one floor beneath me giving the intro for the show. presumably, his minions were setting up the IR cameras and mikes as he spoke. 
 
 Anger began to rise in my chest as my situation really sank in, I knew that prick Samson who owned the house was responsible for poisoning my dog, we found Benny laid out, cold as ice next to the fence that separates our houses, strewn around him were a load of little hotdogs with rat poison hidden inside them. Samson came by at least once a week in nothing but his filthy brown robe to bitch and moan about our dogs barking, Benny only barked when he knew it was dinner time and its not like Samson had a fucking job or anything. Police could n't do anything obviously, no real proof. The vet however was old school, recognized the poison, told us it had been out of production for almost forty years. I knew if i could find the bottle we could nail this ass wipe. 
 
 But those dreams were rapidly dissipating given my current situation, I could n't afford to get caught here, if B & E was n't bad enough I had caused a bit of scene upon discovering Benny last week, ended up being taken down by two officers after smashing Samsons patio door. If i get caught here i'm looking at jail time. 
 
 My heart jumped as I heard the crew beginning to move around the second floor, it was only a matter of time until they explored the attic, probably saving the best for last. no doubt they were here because of the nursing home stories. Samson had been the owner of this house for almost fifty years, but before that it was a nursing home, albeit a small one. At any one time there was about 6 residents, 2 nurses and a doctor. Well, in the early 50's there had been a nurse that waited until the residents took a turn for the worse, and then smothered them with their pillows. No one was ever sure whether she was doing it out of some sick or twisted pleasure or was she just trying to lighten her work load. Either way, no one ever questioned the old folks deaths so she got away with it for years until another nurse caught her in the act. Turns out she could have killed as many as twelve residents. so now rather than respectfully honor the memories of the victims the place was a fucking tourist site, it was really only a matter of time until those mystery machine twats rolled up, but Jesus what fucking timing. 
 
 I could hear Bagans in the room right below me now, panic was beginning to set in, there was no way out. I started to consider calling out to them and giving myself up when it suddenly dawned on me. 
 
 I've binged watched this show on the couch with my favorite Ben's, namely Benny and a big ass tub of Ben and Jerry's. Not once have they ever actually gotten some legitimate evidence of a ghost or anything else. I wonder how they would react if they did. 
 
 I slowly stood up, hunched over in the cramped attic between the boxes and other crappy trinkets. I raised my foot gently and then stomped hard on the support beam beneath me. Silence fell beneath me. `` what the fuck was that?'' I heard, instantly i knew I had them, they never cursed on their show. I stomed again more lightly this time. `` It's coming from the attic I heard'' in the clear voice of Goodwin, `` I'm not going up'' I hear Bagans say `` send the intern''. I ducked behind a pile of boxes and felt around for something reasonably light, my hands settled on an old toaster. Then I waited. 
 
 After about two or three minutes I heard the attic stairs begin to unfold, along with a bunch of harsh whispers `` why do n't you go?! ``, `` cos I have seniority here'', `` by like a fucking week! ``, `` whatever, just go!''. I saw a change on the lighting as a head cropped up in to the attic. i waited just a moment and then aiming carefully hurled the toaster over my shoulders towards the wall near the opening, it shattered in to pieces with a loud boom. Chaos followed, `` sweet fucking jesus!'' I heard Goodwin bellow, `` Out of my way!'' screamed Bagans followed by the crashing sound of cameras coming down. I seized my opportunity and flew down after them, I pounded down the stairs and ran towards the rear of the house, out in to the back yard and leaped the fence between our houses. I collapsed on the other side panting. 
 
 I could hear that the panic had moved to the front Garden of Samsons house. I peeked my head over the fence to witness the beautiful site of Bagans sitting in the rear of the van breathing in to a paper bag, while the rest of the crew were explaining to a horrified Samson that his house was legit haunted. I could n't help cracking a smile. I heard my back door slide open and my girlfriend popped her head out, `` Honey what the hell's going on out here? ``, I walked back towards the house and calmly replied `` Not much, I might be on TV though''. 
 

