[ WP ] Society reaches a point where we realize the survival of the human race depends on reducing its size by a huge percentage . This is how they decide to do it .


 Emma Watson was standing in a field, wearing a glittering red dress and holding a microphone. Behind her, Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin, Angela Merkel, and Benjamin Netanyahu were all wearing gym shorts and doing warm-up exercises. 
 
 Emma Watson said, `` Welcome to Survivor: Earth edition. We know you're playing along at home, so get those cell phones ready! 
 
 `` Today we have representatives from all 193 officially recognized countries! Today's game is going to be a real wowzer! 
 
 `` It's Capture the Flag!'' 
 
 In the background, Barack Obama facepalmed himself. Vladimir Putin threw his fist into the air in celebration. Angela Merkel looked around nervously. David Cameron winked at Narendra Modi. 
 
 Emma Watson continued, `` Teams will be the traditional NATO vs. Russian bloc. These teams have their own flag that they must protect while trying to steal the other team ’ s flag. 
 
 “ Neutral countries will participate by striking a pose somewhere on the battlefield and holding it for as long as they can. If they move, they ’ re out. NATO and Russian bloc countries can pick up these neutral countries to use them as weapons or shields. ” 
 
 “ Okay! ” Emma Watson said, moving into the crowd of spandex-clad world leaders. “ Team Captains, are you ready? ” Obama and Putin nodded. 
 
 “ Let the games begin! ” Emma Watson said. The world leaders ran off to join their huddles. 
 
 “ The teams have five minutes to come up with a strategy, ” Emma said, “ And after that, we ’ ll enter the Combat phase! ” 
 
 “ Remember, the team that wins will be exempt from any and all executions today. Two neutral countries—the best weapon and the best shield—will also be exempt from executions. You, the viewers following along at home, will be the ones who decide who makes the best weapon and the best shield. So don ’ t forget to download our mobile app and send in your votes! ” 
 
 The 5-minute timer was winding down to zero. Confetti fell from the air. An upbeat Jay-Z song blared from the speakers, pumping up the studio audience. 
 
 “ Alright, ” Emma Watson shouted, “ Let ’ s get the party started! ” She winked at the camera and blew a kiss. 

