[ WP ] Shia Labeouf takes up the role as motivational speaker on a suicide hotline .

For one day a year, Shia Lebeouf becomes a speaker for a suicide hotline. However, not everything is what it turns out to be. 
 
 It was mid afternoon, and Shia had returned from lunch. He logged in his credentials on his computer, and waited for the call. Not too long after, a call finally came through. 
 
 `` Suicide Prevention Hotline.'' 
 
 `` Hi,'' the girl said on the other line, sobbing. `` M-my name is Lucy.'' 
 
 `` Hi, Lucy. Such a pretty name. I'm Shia Lebeouf,'' Shia replied. 
 
 Lucy laughed a little. `` No way! Shia Lebeouf?'' She said. 
 
 `` That's right,'' Shia replied with a smile on his face. `` What wrong, Lucy?'' 
 
 `` Well, I do n't know what to do in my life anymore. I come from an abused home where my dad beat me and raped me. He'd hit my mother, I just do n't know what to do in my life. I'm so depressed, and I feel like I wan na jump from a bridge and end it all,'' Lucy said. 
 
 Seconds pass and there was no response on the other end. 
 
 `` S-Shia?'' Lucy asked. 
 
 **'' DO IT! `` ** A shout comes from the phone as Shia yells from the top of his lungs. Lucy jumps back from her chair and tears begin streaming down more from her eyes. 
 
 **'' YESTERDAY, YOU SAID TOMORROW, SO JUST DO IT! `` ** 
 
 It was n't too long after that Lucy hung up, her fate unknown. 
 
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 `` Suicide Prevention Hotline.'' 
 
 `` Hello? Please help me,'' A young man said across the line. 
 
 `` Who the fuck are you?'' 
 
 `` What?'' 
 
 `` I'll ask once again: Who *the fuck* are you?'' 
 
 `` I'm Eddie. Who is this?'' 
 
 `` Eddie, huh? I'm Samuel L. Jackson, fucker.'' Shia makes an attempt to not laugh from making himself sound like him. 
 
 `` But Samuel, you do n't seem like a nice guy-'' 
 
 `` Of course I'm not a nice guy, motherfucker. Now what the hell is wrong with you? You got herpes or something?'' 
 
 `` Well, I've just been down the last few weeks. My girl just left me-'' 
 
 `` Go rob a liquor store Eddie,'cause I sure as fuck do n't wan na hear your shit about your girl leaving you.'' 
 
 `` But is n't that what you're here for?'' 
 
 `` *Hell* no! I ai n't here to listen to suicidal fucks.'' 
 
 *click* the call ends as Shia drops to the floor, laughing unstoppably for a few minutes. 
 
 
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 `` Suicide Prevention Hotline.'' 
 
 `` Hi, my name is-'' 
 
 `` I'm watching you.'' 
 
 `` What?'' 
 
 `` THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE UNDERTAKER TOLD JOHN CENA! BUT WILL HE BE ABLE TO TAKE THE BELT FROM THE MIGHTIEST CHAMPION IN WWE HISTORY AT THIS WEEKEND'S WWE SUPERSLAM?'' 
 
 *click*
