[ WP ] Write the letter that you always wanted to , but never did .

Dear Ex-Husband, 
 
 It's been 20 years since you decided you had never loved me and wanted a divorce. I think it's time for me to finally say thank you for setting me free all those years ago. Unlike you, I am fiercely loyal, so I would've stuck by you til the end of time, no matter how much of a douchebag loser asshole you were. Thank you for saving me from a lifetime a misery. 
 
 From what I know through the grapevine, your life has been consistently sucky due to your terrible choices and habits. Apparently, you married your second wife within a few months of our divorce. You would've married her even sooner, but you had to wait til she turned 17. This woman has my deepest sympathy. She was n't lucky like me. You stole her whole fucking youth. 
 
 Apparently this poor girl ended up serving 3 years in prison because she was caught selling drugs for *you* at the topless bar where *you* had her working to support you, due to your refusal to work. Last I heard, she was working at Dairy Queen and you were *still* unemployed. When I hear things like this I ca n't even wrap my brain around the fact that I was ever married to you. People who know me think it's funny. 
 
 My life is very different from yours. For starters, I've been happily married for 18 years to a man who loves and adores me. On our worst day, we have a better relationship than you and I ever had on our best day. It blows my mind that I ever settled for anything less. 
 
 I'll be blunt. Our life is pretty fucking awesome. We've built a successful business together, which has given us almost total freedom from work. I have n't woken up to an alarm clock since 2003. We live in a beautiful home, in a safe and quiet neighborhood. I have excellent credit, and I drive an expensive convertible, which I look damn good in, by the way. We chose to keep our freedom instead being burdened with kids, which means we can do basically anything we want, anytime we want. Life is good and I have never once wished I was still with you. 
 
 I was pretty broken when you told me you wanted a divorce, and I went out quietly, without making too much of fuss. But now, I want to take this opportunity to point and laugh at your shitty life. This may be immature, but it's extremely satisfying to know that you are out there living in a shitty trailer on your dad's land in the outskirts of that shitty one-horse town, where you're surely still drinking your cheap shitty beer, and making shitty hamburger helper with that extra-fatty cheap ground beef, and smoking those shitty off-brand cigarettes. I'm forever grateful to not be a part of your shitty life. Thank you ex-husband. You not loving me was the best thing that ever happened to me. 
 
 Sincerely, 
 
 Your smoking hot ex-wife 

