[ TT ] You are the Leader of an Elf Squad tasked to bring coal to naughty children . The price of coal has gone up . You need to find a suitable replacement

You know, there's some stuff modern people today just do n't get. The Big Man's one of em. You know, the guy with the big old white beard and the bag of shit that WE made that he gets all the credit for? Well he's just like any other boss I've ever had, pushing us around, making us work all the god dammed time while he's off on some vacation tellin' kids how much of a great dude he is. “ What a charitable guy, ” they say. Well about 4 hours ago the Big Man shows up and comes to my post and tells me that there'll be no coal shipment coming in. He do n't care about the problems that'll cause, and he do n't care about the fact that we got barely 24 hours to go until he's flying off, deliverin' new presents that the Good Kid division has already cooked up. Now here comes me and my Naughty Kid crew and all we got time for is to wait around for some coal and here we are told we ai n't got any. Nobody has got a clue what the hell is gon na happen this year. 
 
 So I went and took a short and angry walk around the North Pole Factory campus. It's pretty simple, we got the Naughty division on the East, and the Good Kids on the west. Of course, there's the head honcho Big Man himself with his big old fancy sled, or whatever he calls it today. Now, on my little walk I see down there in the Good Kid's factory some incredible things in the making. Nutcrackers, Pop guns, and slingshots galore. Are weapons of destruction really what kids want? Not if I had anything to say about it. I ran down to the division and enacted a plan. 
 
 This time, there's gon na be something more displeasing than coal to our naughty little boys and girls this year. Why, they're all getting presents, of course. But we've prepared the toy guns and slingshots to fire back at the family. The bells can be bombs, and the chocolate all rotten. I ca n't say how fast we can get this all situated, but we'll all be fired if we fail. If we do get these presents to our naughty subjects, then rest assured, I will get us praise from the Big Man, and we can get better working hours, and be seen as equals in skill to the Good Kids division.
