[ RF ] A man is convinced correlation always equals causation . Describe his average day .

`` **OH FUCK! **'', Jim shouted as he killed the alarm on his phone. He'd forgotten to change the tune that wakes him up. Both yesterday and the day before were awful for this exact reason. 
 
 `` Great, now another rabbit will jump in front of my car'', he said to the air. Nobody but the air could still stand to be around him, and for good reason. Paranoia is n't something that most people find adorable. 
 
 After he quickly changed his wake up tune from White Rabbits' *Percussion Gun* to a different song he liked, he carefully walked to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He had n't had breakfast since that awful incident with the neighbour's dog, and tried to skip showering in the morning because he did n't enjoy rain on his way home from work. 
 
 Then the doorbell rang. Oh god, why the doorbell. Why *now*? He opened the door, ducked, ignored the man delivering an obviously suspicious package, shook his head four times, yelled `` **NO, I DO N'T WANT ANY MORE CHEESE, THANK YOU**'' to nobody in particular, got in his car and drove off to work, careful to not make too many left turns. 
 
 As you might have noticed by now, Jim is n't a typical fellow. Ever since his twelve year old niece tried to explain the words'correlation' and'causation' to him, his life had changed. It all made so much more sense now. He did n't quite follow what little Suzy said that day, but what he did hear had a tremendous impact on his way of living. 
 
 Luckily, he worked a programming job, which meant not too much interaction with people, and the only thing he saw during his time at work was his computer screen. He only had to stay away from swearing so his compiles would n't be full with errors. And even if they were, that's probably because he had been thinking them. 
 
 When he finally finished the app he was working on, he sent it to his boss with his good-luck e-mail address ( which was his high school address: ih8gurlz @ hotmail.com ) and went home. It rained, but Jim did n't seem to notice. 
 
 After a long evening of reading up on his favourite conspiracy theory websites, eating his usual tuesday meal, and calling his mother, he could finally call it a day and get some sleep. 
 
 The next morning, Jim did n't wake up. 
 
 The sun warmed his face as his alarm went off, and played `` Wake me up when September ends'' 
 

