[ WP ] at wedding of the woman you love , and you 're the best man .

It was no secret I was in love with Veronica. I'd known her a long, long time and we'd always flirted, never dated. Something would always come up, like different Colleges, or we were each already in a relationship, just always something. 
 
 And here I was best man at her fucking wedding! Best man, to a guy who I resented, no, envied and hated. I had always hated Alan, but he was the golden boy, the guy from the good family who was good at sports and school who had the best car in the parking lot when he was 16. I was pretty sure he had asked me to his best man out of sheer malice: we were n't that close of friends, although we had known each other a long time. 
 
 As she came up the aisle, she looked radiant, glowing, just everything I could possibly have dreamed my wife to be, a heaven sent vision in white, just every God damn cliche for beauty you could think of. 
 
 And it was at that point, the absolute nadir of my existence, the dark night of my soul, the equivalent of Tattoo from Fantasy Island using a pogo stick to jump on my heart's crotch, when the first guitar chords of `` Jessie's Girl'' came blaring out. 
 
 It was at that point that I said fuck it, pulled my dick out and began to urinate on the Brides beautiful dress.
