[ CW ] create a character I feel strongly for ( love/hate/sympathize ) using a monologue from their perspective .

I stood alone for a moment or two after the bus carried her away and stared at the spot where it was just idling a minute ago, as if part of it's meaning to me might have been left behind somehow. The way the wind blew a little, the smell of diesel in the air, the restaurant that I could n't see before behind the bus, I ca n't tell if these things are as much a part of her as she is a part of me. Her freckled face, her charm and her receptiveness, whisked away with the mundane precision of a city bus, leaving only traces of a past she never had. I quivered a little, and then I crossed the street, walking through where the bus had been, through the wind and the diesel, directly through a memory. I waited by the restaurant for my own bus, and while I did I could watch the couples eating in the open-air seating, absorbing the glories of the new spring weather. And then, as I watched one couple put on their coats and depart, leaving behind the scents of their perfumes and their empty plates, I realized how many times I too had departed with her - from anywhere - and had not considered how much I might be leaving behind. A whole history of spent tea bags, opened envelopes, and empty beer bottles, all lost! The feeling when two hands separate; the feeling when a hug ends. We have lost these forever, and I would have all of them for these miserable realities any day. I do not know if I have lost you forever, but for now I still have the dank smell of a diesel engine. It clouds my nose, poisons my head, and oh what lovely poison! Do not leave foul odor, I will imbibe you forever if you let me! And I still have the wind. Blow away, Julia. 
 
 ( I do n't write creatively very much, so that might be just dreadful, but I am open to criticism positive or negative, please be frank!!! )
