[ WP ] Hundreds of years in the future , nerds fondly over-romanticize the late 20th/ early 21st century in completely historically inaccurate and anachronistic festivals akin to modern Renfaires .

`` Come one, come all, and try your hand at Tinderrr! See how your great-great grandparents found love! Instant transfer to your phone for only five dollars!'' 
 
 Melissa was skeptical about spending that much money for an ancient program, but Beth was persistent and after being dragged by the booth a third time, she finally caved. That did n't stop her from looking apprehensive as she handed her phone over to the man dressed in a poorly made Kanye West costume, though. His attempt at an Australian accent was atrocious, and Mel thought it was a pretty disrespectful imitation of one of the great geniuses of the millennium, but she bit her tongue as he handed her phone back. 
 
 `` It'll be totally worth it, Mel! And who knows, there are loads of cute guys wandering around. Maybe you'll meet your perfect match!'' 
 
 `` Yeah, maaaybe.'' 
 
 Melissa made a wry face as she set her phone to hover for a profile picture, but her scornful expression turned to shock as Beth grabbed her phone out of the air. 
 
 `` No! Come on, Mel, you have to use the stick. I spent twenty dollars on that thing so we need to get our money's worth.'' 
 
 Melissa groaned. 
 
 `` Seriously? That thing is a pain in the ass. No lighting, no auto best angle, and you have a fucking stick in the photo.'' 
 
 `` Come oooon, please?'' Beth whined. `` Everyone used one back then. And everyone walking around is carrying one. I do n't want to be the weirdos that refuse to use it.'' 
 
 `` Okay, okay. But you owe me a butterbeer later.'' 
 
 Melissa swung the unwieldy stick from one side to the other, trying to determine the best background to match her bright blue pantsuit. The Blue Lives Matter sign would have been ideal, but several young men covered in blue paint were drunkenly singing Beyonce songs in front of it and showed no signs of moving anytime soon. 
 
 `` Just go with the Victoria's Secret sign!'' Beth exclaimed. `` The pink makes the blue stand out, and you're sending the message that you're a strong, independent woman wearing sexy underwear.'' 
 
 ``... I kinda like the United Nations booth with all the flags, though. It makes me feel like Hillary.'' 
 
 `` That's fine too! Just hurry up already so we can start checking out boys!'' 
 
 Mel stuck her tongue out according to the fashion of the day, snapped a photo, and handed the stick back to her sister. 
 
 `` I should've worn something cuter,'' Beth complained as she used the stick to take a picture of herself posing beside a statue of Vladimir Putin mounted on an emu. `` Or at least something cooler than a yoga suit. How could people stand to be covered from neck down in neoprene back then?'' 
 
 `` Maybe the Earth just was n't as hot?'' Mel suggested. `` My dad said back then there used to be a continent that was just ice.'' 
 
 Beth shrugged, clearly no longer listening as she began looking through her matches. 
 
 `` Oooh, what do you think of this one??'' 
 
 She held up a picture of a tall blond man wearing pale makeup, heavy eyeliner, and a pink fedora with matching bow-tie and suspenders. His left hand was clutching a large stuffed tiger won from one of the Pokemon games nearby while his right hand was holding his phone stick. Instead of sticking his tongue all the way out he had opted to pout his lips like an old time Instagram model. 
 
 Melissa stared intently at the photo. 
 
 `` Adrian? He's pretty hot! Is he going for the hipster look? It really works for him. Too bad guys do n't dress like that anymore.'' 
 
 `` I know, right?'' Beth replied as she swiped to the right of her screen. 
 
 `` OHMIGOD!! IT'S A MATCH! HE LIKES ME TOO!'' 
 
 Beth jumped up and down, squealing in excitement. 
 
 `` I ca n't believe it! The first guy I like is a match!!! Should I say hi?'' 
 
 `` What would you say? I mean it's different in text than in hologram, right?'' 
 
 `` Ummm, how about I really like your hat? There's no way to misinterpret that, is there?'' 
 
 But before the discussion went any further, a message notification popped up on Beth's screen. 
 
 `` HE WROTE ME!!'' 
 
 `` What? What does it say??'' 
 
 `` Dear Beth, I hope you are having fun at the fair today. I think you are really beautiful and would love to buy you a cocktail at the wild west bar. Would you care to meet me in front of the Tonto statue? It's right beside the giant Will Smith so you ca n't miss it. Yours, Adrian. PS. This letter writing thing is strange, but I kind of like it.'' 
 
 Beth beamed. 
 
 `` Do you mind if I go?'' 
 
 Mel shook her head and embraced her sister in a tight hug. 
 
 `` No, go ahead, I'm going to wander over to the Lord of the Rings exhibit. Apparently you can get temporary elf ears. I hope your date goes well!'' 
 
 `` Me too! Maybe our ancestors were right to use Tinder. Every time I try modern online dating I get flooded with hologram dicks.''
