[ WP ] Radical Feminists and Social Justice Warriors become the world 's main authority . What happens ?

`` Whole world went to shit, that's what happened!'' bellowed Old Jim, scowling as he spoke, each word practically spat at the children circled before him. `` Do n't know how or why it happened... maybe we got complacent, maybe we got stupid but everyone was clammerin' over everyone else, itching to look the most'moral', the most'progressive' and suddenly, BAM!,'' the kids startled, `` We had a four hundred pound female president who thought she was a unicorn.'' 
 
 Jim's expression grew distant as he eased back in his chair, taking a puff of his peculiarly phallus shaped cigar. `` It did n't take long, then, and people started disappearin'. First it was just the manliest of us, Schwarzenegger, Stallone, those tennis playing Williams sisters, poof, gone. Never heard from'em again.'' Jim leaned in and blew smoke out in lazy clouds towards the children, just to be a dick. `` Then they came for the rest of us...'' 
 
 Jim lifted the sleeve on his tattered khaki fatigues, exposing a brutal, misshapen brand that spoke well of the pain it would have caused to make it. He made sure each of the children got a good, long look at it. 
 
 `` They separated us via'privilege'. Branded us in a manner befitting our standing, they said''. Jim looked as his own brand, `` Do n't much look like a penis, though...'' 
 
 `` What happened next, Old Jim?!'' piped up one of the kids, familiar face on him. Jim reckoned he might have been one of his own. 
 
 `` Shut it, you little shit. I'm talking here.'' he replied, then sat silent for a moment. `` You kids ever seen the dogs... wrestlin'?'' he asked, not sure of the phrasing. 
 
 `` Like when Rex plays leapfrog with Jessie?''. Little shit spoke again. 
 
 `` Yeppa, like that. Vital step if you want to get puppies, you know, vital. That's the problem.'' 
 
 `` They did n't like dogs?'' 
 
 `` Dogs, what?, no you moron... babies! That's the problem. They got rid of all the cocks and in their grand mansions of delusion and self importance grew old and bitter... well, more bitter, and alone. Grim claimed them all and they had no-one to pass on their legacy. We, on the other hand, us men and the right thinking women who were still women, we got... you. At the end of the day, it was n't guns, or jets, or bombs that won us back our country...'' Jim stood, dropped his trousers and stood proud, proud as any man before or since. `` It was this!''
