[ wp ] we make contact with an advanced alien race . They are squealing fanboys of `` earth culture ''

The grass is always greener. Those words had never rang louder in my head as they did right now with the two Mitronauts standing before me. 
 
 `` Human! Yay!'' One of them shouted raising it's tentacles in the air. 
 
'Well at least they are giving our sign for surrender I thought.' 
 
 `` Well off course what else would we do? Like you guys are just awesome!'' the other said dancing round myself and my committee of delegates. The bodyguards shifted uncomfortably. They hated sudden movement. 
 
 `` Are we?'' I asked. 
 
 `` What? oh come on like your culture is so rich your leaders have sex tapes and you let the most physically attractive have an easier life so they can go on and have more attractive young ones. We get the right to mate through combat.'' 
 
 `` I'm not sure we follow the words of those who've had sex tapes.'' I said. 
 
 `` What?'' They exchanged surprised glances. `` but Kim Kardashian...'' 
 
 `` She is not one of our leaders'' one of the people in the back spoke up irritated at even the thought of a Kardashian being in charge of a state. 
 
 `` What about Hulk Hogan? Does n't he have followers? the hulkamaniacs. He destroyed that site Gawker with one blow?'' We burst out in laughter. 
 
 `` I think you are confused those are n't our leaders, we're their leaders.'' In a sweeping motion I showed the group I had come with. 
 
 `` Oh well okay, err... I... we... could have sworn they give the orders around here. Tell us at least Lady Gaga did parade herself with the flesh of a dead bovine'' 
 
 Their globes were enlarged with the expectation I last saw when my five year old asked me if Santa was real. `` Fortunately or unfortunately that was real.'' 
 
 `` Woohoo! I told you Migamax!'' one of them bumped the other. 
 
 `` Is there anything else?'' 
 
 `` Oh yes, yes'' They took out pad and it gave a 3d hologram of several images. I watched in dismay, Kanye was interrupting Taylor Swift, Miley at her Bangerz tour, Mike Tyson biting Holyfield's ear, Robert Mugabe giving a speech, Berlusconi being Berlusconi and finally a turkish oil wrestling match with one wrestler shoving their hand in the other wrestler's pants. 
 
 `` Well are these real then? We just want to know because we're curious you know.'' 
 
 I scrawled down ending up with the `` leave Britney alone'' video. I shook my head in disbelief `` yes unfortunately these are real.'' 
 
 `` Yay! come one we got ta see all of them! starting with that Kanye guy, take us to your leader!'' 
 
 I rolled my eyes, `` I'm their leader'' after a pause I added `` unfortunately.'' 
 
 

