[ WP ] Our protagonist has just been gifted with a divine vision : precisely one year from now , if there are fewer than 100,000 people still keeping their butter in the refrigerator , all humanity will be saved . Otherwise , all humanity shall suddenly and violently perish .

Sometimes, to save the world, you have to break a few eggs. Or in this case, drive to extinction a species we'd domesticated for thousands of years. 
 
 It was n't easy, but we'd finally engineered the ultimate antibiotic resistant pathogen and gotten it into the food supply of every dairy farmer on the planet. And we were three months ahead of schedule. 
 
 `` So'', I pointed at the whiteboard, presenting the final analysis of Project Obligate Vegan, `` at least two months prior to The Date all cows will be dead. That means no fresh milk, no new butter, and it's only a matter of time before people have to throw any rotting leftovers out of their fridge.'' 
 
 `` I'm sorry, Dave, but butter does n't go off that quickly.'' 
 
 `` What?'' I glared at Ted. `` You told me that side of things was all worked out!'' 
 
 `` It has, but... we also had to feed the pathogen to every power plant worker on earth.'' He shook his head at my gaping jaw. `` It's a harsh price to pay, but we ca n't take any chances. Hopefully most of the plants will deactivate safely.'' 
 
 I nodded. `` I guess you're right. Still... all these deaths. It's a good thing we're not *actually* evil, is n't it?'' 
 
 Ted chuckled half-heartedly. `` Yeah. Thank goodness for that. Still, the World Trade Center, then Fukushima, then butter? I do n't get it. I hope that fucking angel is done with us.'' 
 
 `` So do I, Ted. So do I.''
