[ WP ] You are a cat and your home is being burglarized . Do everything you must to foil their plans and alert your owner .

I was not scared of the new hoomans. They even scratched my head as they bumbled by in their stupid `` Oh look at me I can walk on two paws'' way. They did smell weird, so I figured I'd follow them. The first thing they did was to go to the good food box room, the one I get yelled at if I eat the squishy red things my hooman stores in there. The new hoomans were going through the drawers, pulling out shiney triangle things. I meowed, they looked down at me, then the one said something in hoomanese, and it opened the good food box. Aw yiss. I kind of lost track of the new hoomans for a while, but once I had thoroughly investigated the box for red squishy bits, I got bored, so I wandered around until I found the new hoomans. They seemed to be playing with my hoomans favorite Shiney things, which to be fair, were pretty kick-ass playthings. I meowed again, hoping they'd give one to me, but they ignored me. I meowed again, and again, nothing. What the hell. My hooman's friendly hoomans always tried to gain my attention when they came to play loud noises and good food in small brown box. Who did these new assholes think they were? I jumped onto my hooman's face which never failed to wake it up. It rose and looked concerned, so I meowed again. There was no way in hell I was letting these new hoomans disrespect me like that. They needed to be punished. The new hoomans were too bumbly, like when my hooman drinks the brown bottle funny smelling pee liquid. And from the sound of their yelling, they found my present I caught for my hooman. My hooman grabbed the big wooden stick and took off, probably to go get its present. My hooman always thinks my gifts to it are neat. I went back to bed, nothing more I cared to do. At some point more hoomans came, the kinds that have the nifty head coverings. They scratched my back and my hooman even gave me a red squishy bit. All in all, it was a good night.
