[ TT ] Your toilet is clogged , you need to go to the hardware store , and there is a zombie apocalypse outside .

`` Ah, fuck,'' I mumble as the toilet bowl fills to the top with water. 
 
 Toilets love to clog at just the most inconvenient times and when you have no plunger. 
 
 Or other furniture. 
 
 Or friends, family... 
 
 I had just burned my last chair, and now this. I have no choice left. 
 
 I must venture out to the hardware store. 
 
 The problem here, you see, is that everyone's dead. 
 
 Except for me. 
 
 And they're waiting for me to come out. 
 
 I do n't fully think any of them know that I'm in here, actually. But I hear them, moaning and groaning, and I can smell them, rotting and stinking. Freaking Zombies. 
 
 I mean, it was n't too bad at first, you know. Like, before my girl decided to try to leave the house, even though I begged her not to. Before that, we had sooo much sex. Loud, naughty sex. I mean, we had no neighbors that would be disturbed by it, no chance of surprise visits from my parents, and any time we wanted! We finally had all the time in the world to do all the little things we had always talked about, without having jobs or anything! And I had stocked up for quite a long time, so we had plenty of foods and everything. Everything, under the circumstances, was great! 
 
 But yeah, then she died. Things went downhill from there. It's been about a year, and it's sucked. For a while, electricity and everything ran well. But then it stopped, because there was no one to run everything. Which sucked. But I found amusement in old books, magazines, board games, the like. 
 
 Anyway, that's not really important. I guess I'm just lonely, needing to vent. 
 
 I decided to venture out. Being out of furniture, a clogged toilet, low on food, I have to venture out. 
 
 I start sneaking around the corner. 
 
 Okay, good so far. 
 
 I sneak down the driveway. 
 
 I hear a snap behind me, and book it. 
 
 And run right into my zombae. 
 
 Now I'm a zombie, too. Fuck.
