[ wp ] You are the first caveman to invent grammar . The other cavemen begin to find you more and more irritating .

“ In making our diction clearer, we can communicate more effectively, ” Lobgob, fourth son of Biglog said. The other cavemen ’ s heavy brows furrowed. Had Lobgob ’ s voice always been so high? So grating upon the nerves? 
 
 “ How it help with hunt? ” said Larcrunch, son of chief Bigcrunch. 
 
 “ Ah, I ’ m glad you asked, ” said Lobgob. “ While hunting, we are often hindered by poor communication. Miscommunication arises, and our targets escape. If we all adopt this new system of speech, or grammar as I call it, I think we ’ ll find that our annual yield will increase dramatically. ” 
 
 Larcrunch ’ s eyes had begun to glaze. His hand was clawing for the handle of his club like a parched man seeking water. A simmering, confused loathing was building deep beneath the overhung forehead. 
 
 “ Hunt not hard, ” said Slappa, a heavy set young woman with arms like tree trunks. “ We go, see mammoth. Kill mammoth. ” 
 
 “ But what if it could be quicker? ” Lobgob urged. “ Easier? More free of risk? ” 
 
 Slappa considered the words. 
 
 “ Make warriors weak, ” she grunted. “ Make warriors mewling cubs with mouse-voices. ” 
 
 The others in the group chortled their agreement, and Lobgob let out an aggrieved cry. 
 
 “ You don ’ t understand, ” he said. “ Get this through your empirically thick skulls. I am the future. You all sound like the barbarians that you are, but we could be so much more! We could be the best cavepeople this world has ever seen! ” 
 
 “ Is just caveman, ” said Slappa. 
 
 Larcrunch huffed. “ Smart man Lobgob not even know simple word. ” 
 
 Lobgob reddened. “ The point is, you are wasting your potential. You are all dwelling in caves like apes, but if we start to use our brains, truly use them, think what we could accomplish? We start by ordering our speech, and then we order the very world to our design! ” 
 
 “ World already ours, ” said Larcrunch with a proud smile. 
 
 “ No, listen to me you animals— “ 
 
 Lobgob ’ s words cut off as chief Bigcrunch walloped him with his club. The speaker crumpled to the ground, nearly going down head first in the fire. The big chief looked down and shook his head in disapproval. 
 
 “ Future come later, ” he said. “ Too hard to do now. ” 

