[ WP ] God answers all of your prayers , and only your prayers . God is also kind of a dick with a matching sense of humor .

I was one of the first Homo *sapiens*, and in typical carbon-based fashion, I raged against death. I was n't the first human, no, but I must have been the first to ponder an omnipotent being that could wrench me from the snare of oblivion. 
 
 Well, it in fact did just that. 
 
 And for countless millenia I have wandered wastes and metropolises. You would grow weary of seeing empires fall, believe me. I was sure of the eternity of Persia; resplendent in the glory of Rome. My final hope - my last true effort to see that a civilization could endure - also toppled down. 
 
 And I am positive that the rock that has tripped humanity's march has always been that prick above the clouds. 
 
 I've stopped praying, now. After begging God to ensure that, `` Great Britain never, **ever** succumbed to her enemies'', she was torn apart by her children. After pleading with Loki - I call it Loki, because no other deity would be such an asshole - that, ``... all other humans should live forever alongside me, that we do n't deserve to suffer so hideously...'', he unleashed mountains of furry vermin upon the world, effectively proving that humans did indeed deserve to suffer, moreso than ever before. 
 
 Loki is the only deity. God does n't hate us, God does n't love us - God enjoys us, especially me. My prayers have shaped humanity's destiny in unknowable ways, and for that I no longer speak with God. I am the one human being that is certain of God's existence, and I choose to ignore it. 
 
 Sure, I could spill the beans, plaster this message across the internet, tell you that I am praying for world peace and then we could all watch as the Russian bear lumbers across a shattered Ukraine. I could pray for us all to die tomorrow, too - but Loki would n't do that. He enjoys us too much. 
 
 I really have no way to prove the existence of God. I pray that one day I can, though.
