[ WP ] A guardian angel who thinks laughter is the best medicine .

My howls of pain were almost indistinguishable from my friends' howls of laughter, as I tried to stand for a third time, only to have my legs shoot out from under me, propelling me forward this time, my chin hitting the icy sidewalk as my body slid in a slow, graceless arc. The only part of my body that was n't flat on the ice was my butt, which somehow managed to find itself propped up into the air, as if proudly on display. 
 
 How does one slip on an icy sidewalk in June, you might ask? Well, apparently the coffee shop's air conditioning unit had sprung a leak, spewing freon over the puddle of condensation that had dripped from the unit right up until it malfunctioned. And I stepped on it. Naturally. 
 
 `` Classic Harold!'' Jeff managed to squeeze out, between body-wracking sobs of laughter. 
 
 Everyone agreed. As Harold Moments go, that was a pretty good one. 
 
 `` I think I lost another tooth,'' I pointed out, as Nancy helped me back to my feet. The rest of the gang shuffled into the coffee shop, still trying to catch their breath. 
 
 Nancy wiped tears away from both of her eyes and asked, `` Really though, are you OK?'' 
 
 `` Of course!'' I said, trying to adopt the tone of a man who has never displayed his butt to his friends in a slow arc around the sidewalk. 
 
 We went into the coffee shop and headed toward our usual circle of beanbags toward the back. A tall skinny guy in an apron, with his head shaved except for a large patch on top that was pasted into a staggeringly hip wave-like shape came over, and his giant beard asked us what we would like. As everyone ordered, I looked to the mirror on the far wall, gazing sadly at my stringy green hair. I had been going for blond, in an adventurous attempt to make a change in my life, but the hair dresser had been called away to take care of an issue at her kid's school, and had forgotten to tell any of her colleagues about the dorky guy in the back with his hair soaking in chemicals. I sighed, ordered my usual, and plopped down just to the left of the beanbag I had been aiming for. 
 
 We discussed our plans for the evening, and I volunteered to find out what movies were playing. Unfortunately one of the larger glass shards from my phone's screen became dislodged and fell out, finally rendering my phone officially useless, so Chuck had to look it up instead. 
 
 When our coffee came, the lid on mine was only halfway fastened into place. This was not my first rodeo, however, so I deftly snapped the lid down while bringing the cup up to my lips, all in one almost smooth move. Then the bottom fell out of the cup. 
 
 Of course I had chosen to wear my least-stained pants that day. 
 
 After the wild fits of laughter died down, I said loudly `` Et tu, latte?'' 
 
 Complete silence. 
 
 Screw them, that was funny. 
 
 I went to the restroom to clean up a little, but the men's room was closed for cleaning. I was growing concerned about the temperature of the coffee on my nether regions, so I eyed the door to the ladies' room instead. No, that was just asking for it. 
 
 At that moment, a middle aged woman in a pantsuit emerged from the door that I was longingly staring at, and upon seeing the look on my face and the wet stain on my pants, she screamed and began beating me with her purse. 
 
 I could hear the gleeful shrieks of laughter coming from my friends behind me. 
 
 My head dropped to my chest, and I heard myself whisper `` why?'' 
 
 All sound ceased. I looked up, and there was nothing. No flailing purse, no coffee shop, just white. Endless white. 
 
 
 “ I ’ m surprised it took you this long to ask, ” said a smooth voice beside me. 
 
 I jerked to my right, and saw a man that could only be described as beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. 
 
 “ What is this!? Who are you!? ” I tried to ask, though I think it came out more like a scared whimpering sound. 
 
 He seemed to understand though, because he replied, “ To make it simple, I ’ m an angel. A guardian angel. ” 
 
 “ WELL YOU SUCK! ” I screamed. 
 
 I could feel my face turning red and growing almost as hot as my crotch, when he held up a hand and said, “ no, not yours. ” 
 
 “ What? ” I managed. 
 
 “ You love her, don ’ t you? ” 
 
 “ What? ” I said again. 
 
 He just gazed at me, and with his look came complete calm and understanding. 
 
 “ Yes, ” I said, realizing it for the first time myself. 
 
 “ Good. She loves you, too. Very much. You are the one that is to share her future with her. ” 
 
 “ Wait, I don ’ t understand. Have you been doing all of this to scare me off? Or to test me, or what? ” 
 
 “ Nancy has had a very difficult life, with much pain. Did you know that? ” 
 
 “ Well, she hasn ’ t really given me any details or anything, but yeah, I ’ ve gotten that impression. ” 
 
 “ You are a good person. You have a great capacity for love and for patience, both of which she needs. It is right that she should be with you. But there is truth in the phrase ‘ laughter is the best medicine, ’ and sadly, you are not a very funny man. ” 
 
 I was silent, I ’ m not sure how long. “ Couldn ’ t you just make me a great comedian or something? ” 
 
 “ I have no powers over you, your personality or your mind. Only the occasional external circumstances. ” 
 
 Silence again. 
 
 “ Well alright. ” I said. And the whiteness was gone. 
 
 
 I could hear the raucous celebrations dying down behind me as the lady with the purse and the pantsuit stormed past me, muttering angrily. 
 
 I took a deep breath. 
 
 I turned and saw my friends, many of them with their phones held up, still videoing. Nancy smiled at me, and her eyes said a phrase I had heard many times: “ only you Harold, only you. ” 
 
 I smiled, waved, and stepped into the ladies ’ room.
