[ WP ] The death penalty has been replaced by a one way trip to Mars .

I still ca n't believe it. 
 
 But here the fuck I am. 
 
 In a tiny tin bubble being hurled off the face of the Earth. 
 
 Yeah, I messed up. I could see why they would want to get rid of me. 
 
 Lock me up. 
 
 Put me to the chair. 
 
 But seriously? Fucking hurled from the planet? 
 
 Who the hell does that? 
 
 `` You excited?'' 
 
 The voice comes from the dweeb sitting across from me. His eyes are opened so wide it looks like his eyeballs are ready to pop from his skull -- smear all over his stupid glasses. 
 
 Our heads are locked to our chairs. Out of the eight of us, I get to stare directly at his psycho face for the entire 20-year journey. 
 
 He sits there, smiling. 
 
 He's been smiling since he turned himself in. Walked straight into the police office with sleeves painted in his parent's blood. Was all over the news. 
 
 As soon as I heard about the Fletcher project, I knew he was going to be the first one on the list. Never thought I'd be on the boat with him, though. 
 
 `` You excited?'' he asks again. He smiles so wide I can see every last tooth in his skull. 
 
 I refuse to answer his crazy ass. 
 
 `` I'm super excited,'' he says, answering himself. Probably something he has to do regularly. `` Think about it! The very first Martians!'' 
 
 `` Could n't they have sent us to Australia, like they used to?'' This time the voice comes from the man next to me. `` We'd be just as likely to be killed by some new species of monster, but at least we'd have the chance to get laid, first.'' 
 
 He laughs, but it seems forced. He's nervous. 
 
 Do n't know much about him, actually. Squeezing my head in the straps, I can see what looks to be a scar down his cheek. 
 
 At least he had the good courtesy to put on cologne before we got strapped in. 
 
 Everyone else is quiet. Most of them are still drugged up. I was the first into surgery, so my meds already wore off before our shuttle even launched. 
 
 They put a bunch of metal and circuits inside us before we got tossed in here. Something to deal with the `` environmental factors'' on Mars. 
 
 Whatever that is. 
 
 A voice starts to play somewhere in the cabin. 
 
 `` Please remain calm and seated. We will be administering a sedative shortly to help you sleep more comfortably as we begin the cryogenic process for the upcoming journey. We look forward to seeing and hearing from all of you as soon as you're awake.'' 
 
 The vents start to hiss, but I do n't feel anything at first. 
 
 Things just start to get less saturated, and then, gently, the lights begin to dim. All I see before I'm out is the gleam of the dweeb's glasses, and the white of his teeth. 
 
 I wake up a moment later to another hissing sound, only this time louder. I open my eyes to see stars inside our cabin. 
 
 I feel weightless, and suddenly I realize what's happening. The entire thing is falling apart, splitting into pieces. I look over and see the dweeb's seat split off first, and begin to float further and further away from the rest of us. 
 
 He's still smiling at me as I watch him fall down to the red earth underneath, hundreds of meters below. My seat starts spinning, but I'm still strapped helplessly to it. My body is nauseous, and my throat is so dry I ca n't scream. 
 
 The stars spin so fast they look like streaks of white chalk against a blackboard. 
 
 Suddenly, there's a huge tug, as if a giant just grabbed me mid-flight. My seat stops spinning and jerks upwards, and then the descent begins to slow. I feel it falling, gently swaying towards Mars. 
 
 The seat straps release from my head, and I'm so relieved I lean forwards. I almost fall out of my seat before I realize I literally have no more safety harness to this craft. 
 
 It begins to descend further and further, until the redness that was beneath me turns into a horizon. The sky turns less and less dark, begins to saturate and turn orange. Feels like it's being consumed by rust. 
 
 I lean back into the seat, sickened from the motion, and rest my eyes. How am I still so tired after so many years of sleep? 
 
 I hear an engine fire up and the seat starts to sway in one direction, a crisp, clear motion. It floats down into the dirt and finally, stops moving as it touches the ground. 
 
 I open my eyes and look around. 
 
 I'm in a trench. 
 
 The walls around me are at least 40 meters high. They look like they're made of loose, packed sand. 
 
 With how sick I feel, I do n't even think twice about the reality of trying to climb it. 
 
 I get out of my seat. I fall out of my seat, really. The dirt smells of rust, as well. 
 
 I ca n't really understand how I'm breathing, or what's going on, but I figure there's no point in trying to. They did n't send me out here for a vacation, they sent me out here to die. 
 
 Might as well last as long as I can. 
 
 The path is blocked behind me, so I move forward. There's no way to see what's ahead of me. The walls are so tall, and the path so long that I ca n't see what's above. I can only move forward. 
 
 A half-hour later I come to an intersection. I look around me, but every path looks the exact same. I choose to go forward. Might lead me to the rest of the group. 
 
 Or, at least, it's least likely to lead me back to where I was. 
 
 This place is a maze made of sad, abandoned red dirt. As I keep heading forward, the pathways start to become more common. The choices are more open. I hear a slight whirring and walk towards it. 
 
 There's a small rover driving about and I chase it down. It turns on it's treads and looks up at me with a small black ball attached to a crane. 
 
 A green light fires up inside the ball. The words read: `` May I take your order?'' 
 
 `` A glass of wine and a steak,'' I joke. 
 
 `` One moment,'' the ball responds. 
 
 `` Wait -- are you serious?'' 
 
 The rover turns on it's heel without answering and drives straight at the wall. The little treads on it start to bend as it approaches, and the damn thing rolls straight up the vertical wall, leaving tread marks on it's path. 
 
 I sit down and wait for it, and about twenty minutes later a little tray flies down on a parachute. I unbuckle the clips, and inside sits a finger-sized piece of jerky and a little 8-oz thermos. A thin black font on the cap reads `` Please do not discard. You only get one.'' 
 
 *Shit. * 
 
 I open it up and smell it. 
 
 It smells like ammonia. 
 
 *Double-shit. * 
 
 Should have asked for a Gatorade. Did n't think it was actually going to bring me what I asked for. 
 
 I look up to where the rover climbed the wall, and I see it sitting there, a smiley face on it's little black ball. The face disappears and new words emerge. 
 
 `` Find me again for your next meal.''
