[ EU ] A wealthy superhero runs for President as an Independent ( i.e . no political party affiliation ) . Write some of their campaign .

`` Shinzo Abe says he can restore Japan to its former glory. 
 
 But as these shocking photos reveal, Shinzo Abe ca n't even restore an antique car.'' 
 
 *dramatic music plays. A montage of photos show Shinzo Abe trying to fix an old car. He scratches his head, looks dubiously at his tools, and throws up his arms in frustration. * 
 
 `` Is four more years of fiddling around by Shinzo Abe really what Japan needs? 
 
 No. Japan needs more nuclear power plants. 
 
 Vote for Godzilla. With Godzilla's age, wisdom, and destructive capability, we can restore Japan -- just the way it used to be.'' 
 
 ( this message brought to you by the Grand Old Lizard Party )
