[ WP ] One day your guardian angel appears and tells you about all the kick-ass protection you 've been getting .

I'm dreaming again. 
 
 Here it comes; I look up... *windshield*. And now I'm bleeding everywhere, blinded by the red, stumbling out of that smell only I know about. It does n't have a name. 
 
 Of course this is a dream. It's already happened. Let's find the grass again - let's wait for help. Man, so much blood. My body must be empty... no wonder I ca n't feel anything. 
 
 There he is. There's the help. He's going to ask to help me, and then he's going to make the phone calls for me. He's going to hold my head and get blood all over his hands. He's the help I need. 
 
 `` Not tonight,'' she said. I could n't see her, my eyes still drowned in blood. But she was close by, maybe right over me. 
 
 I could n't talk. She understood my confusion. 
 
 `` Yes, you're dreaming. Yes, this is your brain remembering the first trauma. Your brain has gotten pretty good at holding onto its pain.'' 
 
 *That's how I've survived. * I want her to leave, I want to get back to the pain I understand. 
 
 `` This is n't survival. Not anymore.'' I really want to wake up now. I do n't need this or her. 
 
 `` How long have you been here? How long?'' 
 
 *Ten years. * I lie. 
 
 `` Give me a break. It's been nine. Do n't round up your suffering.'' 
 
 It's been too long now. That man is n't going to make it in time, and I'm going to bleed to death in the grass. This is n't a dream. 
 
 `` You're not getting out of this like that. Do n't run away. You've been through too much to fight *me*.'' 
 
 *And who... * 
 
 `` I'm the only reason you're still breathing. I care about you in every way that you do n't. But every hand I've lent to you really does n't matter, does it?'' 
 
 *No. Because I'm still dying. * 
 
 `` And nothing either of us do will stop that. You're as dead as anybody. So why bother, right?'' 
 
 *... pretty much. Stop helping me. I do n't deserve it. * 
 
 `` Well duh. You're a horrible person. You get so many chances to live again and you waste all of your time denying your own worth. But I have so much invested in you now. I ca n't quit, I'm addicted to your struggle. So stop bleeding and be *you* again.'' 
 
 *I do n't remember what it's like to not bleed. I've been here too long. * It is n't just blood running down my face now. It's warm where it was cold. 
 
 `` I know. I'm so sorry. I'm learning, too. What you have n't needed these last years is me watching out for cars and knives and death.'' 
 
... my eyes begin to... 
 
 `` Wake up now. You'll remember my face, even if you've never seen me. There's an angel for you, I promise. Find me, her - we will help you love yourself again. It's time.'' 
 
 Wake up.
