[ WP ] In a world where sickness can be physically fought instead of hypothetically , you have just come across your toughest opponent ...

`` Come on, Mom! You can break him!'' I shouted, as I cheered for my mom as if spectating a Roman gladiator battle of old. 
 
 She took her radiation gun, the statistically best weapon for fighting cancer, and charged it up to 100 %. 
 
 `` FIRE!'' my family shouted, all crowded in a circle around the glass room. 
 
 *The story of why this is possible is really quite interesting. I would know, because I spent four years majoring in it at Harvard Psychotherapy School, the new branch of Harvard Medical. Fifty seven years ago, humanity discovered a drug that would allow the human mind to increase its power temporarily. This power allows the brain to project into the real world through a supernatural force that we all have now called chi. Yup, it turns out the Chinese were right. * 
 
 *The only use for this power that we have found, however, is in the medical field - because the brain only has real power over the body it resides in, this projection can take the form of a representation of something inside that body. And, because disease is something inside that body... * 
 
 *Well, let's just say sickness can now be physically fought instead of hypothetically. If it's defeated, it will literally disappear from the patient's body. On the other hand... * 
 
 *The drug has side effects. The representation, if not defeated within the temporary time limit the power has, will grow in strength. If you try to use the psychotherapeutic drug again, the representation will be much stronger. And so on. It will, of course, thus reflect itself on your body. It's safe to say that, in the case of cancer, you wo n't be able to beat it again. You will die. * 
 
 *Brings a whole new meaning to Mortal Kombat, eh? * 
 
 *But anyway, that's the story. If my mother loses, she will die. We all know that. And since it's her brain, we ca n't help her. It's the worst feeling. But the majority of humanity feels that a few hours of fighting this representation is better than months or years of suffering. * 
 
 `` FIRE!'' my family shouted, all crowded in a circle around the glass room. 
 
 Pulling the trigger, a small explosion could be heard inside the contraption known as the `` radiation gun.'' Radioactive matter spewed out of the nozzle straight into the beast that was the representation of cancer. The immediate effect could be seen as the monster disintegrated from the inside out. Previously growing bigger by the second with its molecules multiplying exponentially, it now collapsed inwards like a hollow cave. 
 
 A hush fell upon the room, as my family, the psychotherapists, and my mother waited. 
 
 The silence was broken by the sound of metal on granite. My mom had dropped the gun, and was beginning to dance with joy. 
 
 We had won! 
 
 She was safe. 
 
 But now, it was my turn. 
 
 `` Really, really, this is not necessary,'' I pleaded. `` I'm not sick, I swear!'' 
 
 But my family would have none of it. 
 
 `` Just try the drug,'' they said. `` If nothing comes out, you're not sick. Perfectly healthy. 
 
 `` I know,'' I sighed resignedly. `` I studied this stuff.'' 
 
 The doctor stepped up to me, and, unceremoniously, jabbed a needle into my arm. 
 
 `` Please, step this way,'' he said, as he pushed me into an adjacent room to my mother. She waved happily, giving me a thumbs-up. 
 
 `` It will take -'' he said as I interrupted him. 
 
 `` Yes, yes, I know, five minutes for something to appear or not appear, blah, blah, 10 minutes for disease to form. I told you already, I'm not sick.'' 
 
 He smiled at me. `` They care about you. Just be thankful that this exists. After all, what if you are sick? A dormant disease, perhaps?'' 
 
 `` Well, I guess we'll find out.'' I appreciated his comment. I should n't be ungrateful, I suppose. 
 
 `` Just checking. The most common dormant diseases are STDs. Do you have a girlfriend, sexually active...?'' he probed. 
 
 `` Nope.'' I coughed nervously. `` I'm still a virgin.'' Psychotherapy majors apparently do n't get the girls. 
 
 `` And... one more thing. Do you masturbate?'' he said. 
 
 `` Have n't in a while. Been busy.'' 
 
 `` Okay then!'' he put his pen into his coat pocket and the clipboard away. `` Good luck.'' 
 
 
 *Five minutes later... * 
 
 From the floor, something began to bubble. Through the glass to my right, I could see my brother pointing at me, laughing, mouthing `` I told you so.'' Above me, a doctor was standing on top of a hatch, ready to toss me a weapon from the vast store that lay up there. 
 
 I looked back to the monster. My mouth dropped open. The horrified look that crossed my face spread to my family, my mother, and the doctors. 
 
 `` There's no fucking way...'' 
 
 For the thing that stood in front of me was a giant, limp, penis. 
 
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