[ WP ] A game of Dungeons and Dragons gets a little to serious when Ryan 's neighbor Galgamorth the orc shows up and starts criticizing the game for its inaccuracies .

'Alright, roll initiative' Derrick said, turning his ever-watchful eye to the rest of the group. The DM screen acted as barrier from their loud groans and complaints, and the occasional eye-roll.'Come on, do n't give me that. You all wanted to poke the orc with the short stick, now deal with it.' 
 
'Honestly, I find that offensive. I could very well profile all of you pinks as soft lunch meat, but you do n't ever see an orc do that. No sir, not us' he paused,'That's simply uncouth' 
 
 Slowly, the players and Derrick turned around to see a freakishly tall green monster - also known as Ryan the Wizard's neighbor, Galgamorth - standing there under the kitchen door. Thank god for tall ceilings, he thought, as a cold drop of sweat ran down his spine. Maybe he should've went with kobolds. 
 
'Gal! What is up!? Are you here to join us?' said Ryan, way too excited. Had he no understanding of social dynamics? What am I saying, of course he did n't - he's the one that invited the freaking ORC to a Dungeons and Dragons game! That's like inviting Anne Frank to play'hunt the jew'.'What are you playing today? Human warrior as usual?' 
 
'I do n't know, Ryan, why do n't you tell me what I should play? Your little fellow over there' he said, pointing at Derrick'He seems to know a whole of a lot about my kind, like how we hate being poked by pointy sticks. Tell me, all powerful Dungeon Master, what should I play?' 
 
'Uh... Uh... M-maybe we should stop for tonight' Derrick yelped, in a voice a lot similar to that of a little girl getting kicked in the nuts.'I mean, I do n't have much more else planned. You could join us as a Barbarian next week? The party needs some muscle.' 
 
'Oh, I see, so that's all I'm good for, right? Muscle? Brawn?!' Galgamoth started raising his voice'MAYBE THE GREEN MAN SHOULD STOMP PINK BASTARD, YES?' 
 
 The table fell silent. Ryan's eyes were open with surprise, Derrick was trembling and Janice was staring at her brown shoes. You play Dungeons and Dragons and you think you'd know how to handle an orc, but you do n't. 
 
'Just playin, numbnuts! I brought an elven ranger, hope that's okay.'
