[ WP ] Captain Obvious , Sargent Sarcasm , and Admiral Asshole are in a room together

`` Well, I just sure love a cold coffee on a freezing Sunday morning, do n't you Admiral?'' the man in the army uniform said loudly. 
 
 `` Yup, tell it to the bitch in the spanks over there i'm going to fuck later tonight.'' The admiral chucked loudly, donning countless sparkling badges on his pristine navy uniform. 
 
 `` I'm sorry sir, the coffee machine is broken, I'll get you another one right away.'' the waitress teetered off to the back kitchen, carrying the Sergeant's cold teacup in her hands. 
 
 `` Well, it looks like the coffee machine is broken.'' said the third man at the table, who was also in uniform. 
 
 `` No shit, Sherlock.'' the Admiral laughed loudly. 
 
 `` You know, that was probably one of the most intelligent things I've heard in all my life.'' said the Sergeant. 
 
 `` Look, she's coming back!'' said the Captain, pointing to the waitress `` and she's carrying something in her hands!'' 
 
 Sure enough, the waitress came toddling back, with a new cup of coffee in her hands. 
 
 `` Sorry sir. Hope I did n't cause too much trouble.'' 
 
 `` No, it's fine, It's not like you wasted over 1 minute of my life or anything.'' said the Sergeant nonchalantly. 
 
 `` Well, if there's anything I can do to be of further service to you, please let me know.'' she said apologetically. 
 
 `` Well, there's one thing.'' said the Admiral, who reached out his gloved hand and slapped her buttocks loudly. 
 
 The waitress, startled, slapped the Admiral across the face, before walking away in disgust. 
 
 `` I do n't think she liked that,'' the Captain meditated. 
 
 `` Shut the fuck up!''
