[ WP ] A modern teenager is transported into a fantasy world , where they are forced into a quest with young witches and wizards their age . Fortunately , they 've got a backpack full of high-tech gizmos to help them along .

`` Garboas!'' He proclaimed proudly. 
 
 `` Merenath is my name,'' she said throwing back up the hood her mother had hand-sewn. 
 
 `` Uh... I'm Brad... iroth.'' I stuttered 
 
 `` Bradiroth?! Do you even use magic, sir?!'' The challenge Garboas had rightly issued would have to be addressed later, because now a huge spider was attacking, of course. 
 
 Merenath put one hand on her head and put her other hand forward, which caused the huge spider to flinch... at least, the two actions seemed connected somehow. 
 
 Garboas yelled something ridiculous and one of the legs fell off. It was n't bad, I guess. 
 I went with the can of Axe and lighter combo, which caught the whole spider ablaze. It quickly fell flat. 
 
 `` Sorry for doubting you, grand wizard!'' Garboas exclaimed, patting me on the back. 
 
 `` That's more of an insult where I come from.'' I said, laughing alone and confusing my companions. `` So do we have to ge deeper in this cave, or simply escape?'' I asked, hoping to prepare some exposition, I mean, understand my predicament. 
 
 `` Why would you expect us to know where we are when you do n't?'' said Merenath very drily. She kinda reminds me of Daria. 
 
 `` Did you two know each other?'' I ask. 
 
 `` No, that's why we introduced ourselves, fool.'' Merenath snapped again. I never really liked Daria. 
 
 `` Yeah, that was in the middle of a conversation that happened. I guess, let's go through the only passageway. There's a very convenient lack of options here.'' 
 
 We walked around pretty far without any further attacks and it started to seem like we might excape without incident. Garboas kept talking shit about my clothes and I informed him that I was going to make it big in my screamo band and that I would have much better clothes then, but then I remembered there's no way he was referring to me being poor like I was used to. Merenath said very little, that was cool. The dark, brooding, high school girl even predates high schools, I had n't known that before. 
 
 `` Yes!'' I yelled excitedly. We had reached the mouth of the cave. The daylight was blinding, but my goofy smile/painful squint combo gave me no heartache. However, when I ran into some kinda dumb forcefield when trying to run out the exit, that gave me some heartache. Especially when some old wizard came out slow-laughing like he won something. He had his arms concealed under huge sleeves and everything. What a douche. 
 
 `` You'll never leave here.'' He finally said after far too much laughing. 
 
 `` Let us go!'' Yelled Merenath, in her first show of emotion besides sarcasm. `` We're bored!'' Was her follow-up that made more sense. 
 
 `` Who are you, Halloween Stereotype?'' I asked. 
 
 `` I am the High Expositor!'' He said, glazing over my sweet burn. `` I have trapped you here and you will never escape! It is my mission to keep you here while your families are enslaved. Their wizardry will help us expand our kingdom, or else they will never see you again!'' He exposited. 
 
 `` Kidnapping, conquering. Ok, cool, so we're the good guys. I've never been a good guy before.'' I thought, `` But I think he has me confused, my parents both work in IT. I guess there was some kinda snafu with their D & D character's online stories being sent through time or something. What lazy writing,'' I thought, unable to keep from laughing out loud. Everyone looked over at me for laughing and I decided to embrace it. 
 
 `` Your kingdom is foolish to meddle with our families! You're in over your head, even with your comically large nightcap!'' 
 
 Garboas was all about it and went straight into attacking. That was unfortunate because my lighter was dead, disabling the only attack I'd come up with. Also, I was hoping to write a little more cliche pre-fight dialogue. I could just spray Axe into his eyes, but I was looking to do more than annoy him. I wanted to kill this poorly-written asshole. 
 
 I started tossing things from my backpack to come up with a plan. `` Fuck off, textbooks. Bye, laptop. How could I be useful in this battle?!'' 
 
 Then, I noticed everything I was thinking being written across the laptop screen. 
 
 `` Ha! That's so cheap!'' I laughed, as I ran over and quickly typed, `` Then the bargain bin wizard dropped dead of a heart attack, but Garboas and Merenath thought I did something badass again.'' causing that cool stuff to come true. 
 
 `` That was badass what you just did!'' Garboas yelled. 
 
 `` Pretty cool moves, I got ta admit.'' Merenath said. 
 
 The mouth of the cave made a fantasy noise and there were three portals corresponding to our outfits, giving us the chance to go back to our different worlds, I guess. I just ran through mine after gathering my stuff back. 
 
 I ran through a portal that led me to my room just in time to hear my mom yell `` Dinner!'' She made teh spagetti and I asked dad `` Is your D & D campaign still going on?'' 
 
 He said, `` Yeah, but it's been really going downhill lately. Why do you ask?'' 
 
 I winked at the camera and my face froze as credits rolled to some upbeat'80's jams.
