[ WP ] After spending decades in Heaven you finally work up the courage to ask for a meeting with God . You ask Peter , but he reveals to you God has left a long time ago .

`` Here's the thing...'' Peter began. He cleared his throat and glanced at the never-ending line of recently deceased that waited to find out if they were allowed through the turn-style, getting their hand stamped in the process, or if they would be directed towards the Slide, complete with a sign saying `` You Must Have Sinned This Much To Ride''. Peter figured they could wait for a few minutes. Some were going to relish this last bit of torment-free existence, and the others would be in Paradise so it would n't matter. Peter stepped from behind his podium and put his arm around my shoulder, walking me to the edge of the cloud and looking down. 
 
 `` You see Fred... God has been here a long time. And I mean, a LONG time. That whole Creation thing? Yeah... That was well into His stay. It's like an apartment. You get bored with the same old, same old, and then you bring in new furniture. So imagine how long He was here before He got bored enough to create the universe. 
 
 `` Anyways, He decided that watching the mortals was n't cutting it for entertainment anymore. He decided that it was dumb of Him to create the whole universe and not go see how it was doing. So He packed his bags and took off, leaving JC in charge.'' 
 
 I stood there and blinked a few times, realization dawning on me. Jesus, or JC as Peter called him, walked among the streets of Heaven, glad-handing and kissing babies, the eternal politician. But whenever someone started to get too smart, started to figure things out, Jesus would inevitably say that `` Father is beckoning me'' and He would disappear for awhile. 
 
 Now I realize that all those times Jesus was just taking a coffee break. `` Checking the back room'' as retail workers called it, or `` asking a manager'' if you had been a car salesman. 
 
 I'm not begrudging God anything. I mean, Heaven kind of runs itself. There's angels everywhere, and some of them are probably just as bored watching us mortals as God was. 
 
 But anyways, back to the conversation with Peter. I'm standing on the edge of the cloud, looking down at the expanse of humanity, and finding it dull myself. I mean, I lived it for 47 years before that damn truck took me out. I know all about the hate of the alarm clock buzzing, the taste of toothpaste and orange juice, the boss in your ear and the cold dinner at home and the routine of doing it over and over. I could only sympathize with God for becoming bored of it after seeing countless generations do it. 
 
 I stood there looking down still. Peter gave me a pat on the shoulder as he saw I understood, and he went back to the podium. I stood there, watching humanity, and I began to feel jealous. I was jealous of God and His ability to just pack up and go. I want to see stars being born and exploding, damnit! I want to see eruptions on distant planets, observe alien species doing alien things! I want to ride a comet as it crashes into the side of a moon, obliterating both of them and creating asteroids and meteors. If only I could... 
 
 I turned back to Peter and he just looked at me and smiled, nodding once. At that moment a completely new feeling came over me. All at once I understood everything I ever wanted to understand. I could feel not only the cloud beneath my feet but also the air it rested on, how it shifted like sand in a lake bad as people moved. Peter knew what had happened, and after a split second of confusion I understood as well. 
 
 I had broken free of the last chains that held my spirit. I was no longer dead Fred. I had truly, after decades here, accepted all that Heaven was and finally began to think outside the bounds that a lifetime of humanity had imposed upon me. I had the biggest shit-eating grin on my face as Peter laughed a bit. 
 
 `` It never gets old watching this,'' he said. He picked up his quill and called for the next waiting soul to step forward. I quickly made my way back towards the gates, pausing a moment to thank Peter for his time when he grabbed my arm gently but firmly and whispered into my ear. 
 
 `` Each person must come to understand this on their own. When they are ready, they will make that transition. Go, enjoy yourself. We'll still be here when you get back.'' With that he gave me a kiss on the forehead, like an uncle would, and turned back to his duty. I felt a momentary pang of pity for him, being shackled to that podium until the Second Coming. He must have sensed this, because he looked back at me and winked before mouthing `` Go, it's ok''. 
 
 I hurried inside and up to my apartment, scribbling a note and hanging it from my door. I paused and thought how much Heaven was laid out like a giant college campus, with dorms and lecture halls, before laughing and heading back towards the gates. I felt more alive than I had when I was alive, and I was excited beyond words to watch Jupiter's storms churn and roil in the atmosphere. 
 
 As I stepped out off the cloud and willed my spirit towards the blackness of space, I understood now what people had told me my whole life, about Heaven being what you made it to be. I chuckled and headed for the Asteroid Belt, thinking that God and I would have something to talk about other than historical events should we ever meet up. And if we did n't, that was OK too. Afterall, this was His Heaven too.
