[ WP ] an alien race invades but are beaten back at the last minute as they collapse inwards due to discovering things on earth they have never tried before ... Drink , drugs and smoking .

`` Congratulations,'' said Brad, `` You have risen to the highest echelon of the Mu Alpha Rho fraternity, you will now learn the secrets of the fraternity's dark origins.'' 
 
 Just then, the door crashed open and Chad stumbled in, spilling Goldschläger everywhere. `` Ya did it dudes!!'' he said, `` Drink up!'' 
 
 `` Wait, dude, no,'' Brad said, but it was too late. Elliot and Bradley were already rolling the keg in. A pair of half-dressed sorority girls wandered in, engaged in a big catfight over whose bra was whose. It was hopeless. Brad let out a weary sigh. 
 
 `` Hey bro, where's the music!'' said Bradley, a moment later the room was filled with the ambient chords of Lady Gaga. The bathroom door opened and out came Greg, a powdery white mustache betraying what he'd been up to. The girls reached some kind of truce in their catfight, and started making out with each other instead. Elliot tossed back a shot of whiskey and punched a hole in the wall to distract from the sting. 
 
 Fighting through the crowd and the noise, Brad made his way outside. Grabbed his communicator, cleverly disguised as a cigarette carton. `` This is Shmormoth'Brad' Gdelkshnin on Earth Outpost 73, calling Mars Mothership 9... What the... Argh!'' As he turned the device sideways and peered inside, Brad saw what the problem was. Someone had removed the delicate dilythium power cylinders. Probably smoked the damn things thinking they were cigarettes! Brad smacked his face with his palm. Looks like it's gon na be a long semester.
