[ WP ] You 've finally done it : unquestioned world domination . The planet is entirely under your control . Now what ?

“ Sir? It's almost time to begin. ” 
 
 
 I glanced up from my desk, strewn with reports from my generals. Pushing the button on my intercom, I replied 
 
 
 “ Thank you, Alonso. I'll be right down. ” 
 
 I put down the paper I was holding and smiled. The last remnants of the American Empire ’ s army had been crushed, and with their demise came the death of the last remaining free nation. It was done. I had become the first man to ever achieve total world domination. And there was something that had to be done. 
 
 
 Stepping into the foyer of my palace, I saw Alonso tapping his foot, waiting for me by the door. Alonso was my right-hand man. We had known each other for years, and I trusted him with much more than just my life. He was the chief of my military, and he used to handle foreign affairs back when there were still foreign countries with whom affairs were managed. 
 
 
 “ Ready for your big speech, sir? ” Alonso was beaming. “ You've been looking forwards to this moment for years. How do you feel? ” 
 
 
 “ Just great. A little nervous, I suppose. I told you not to call me “ sir ”, Alonso. ” 
 
 
 “ Sorry, sir. Er, sorry, Max. Well, have you got your speech? ” 
 
 
 “ Do n't worry, I wo n't need one. How do I look? ” 
 
 
 “ Amazing. Wonderful choice of suit, may I add. ” 
 
 
 “ Good, I want to look great for the crowd. Here, let's go. ” 
 
 
 The crowd outside the Palace, which had been at a dull roar before, burst into a frenzy as I opened the doors and walked out from under the veranda. As I strode towards my golden podium, two guards quickly hurried to my sides. Despite my overwhelming support in these parts, there was still the odd assassin I had to contend with. 
 
 
 Alonso and the guards stopped just before the podium and took up their positions. This was it. My moment of glory. This moment would be honored in history books long after my death. I will have finally achieved what I set out to do nearly thirty years ago. I glanced back at Alonso, and he gave me a thumbs up. Feeling my anxiety harden into my usual iron resolve, I gave him a pursed smile, wiped my brow, and stepped up to a hail of cheers, waving signs, and camera flashes. 
 
 
 “ Greeting, ladies and gentlemen. I have come to you, noble people of the Great Republic, with grand news. Our armies have defeated the insolent Imperials, and established our message of prosperity and unity across the entire globe! The sun shall never set on our glorious nation! ” 
 
 
 At these words, the crowds only applauded louder. The clicking of cameras was nearly deafening now. I smiled and raised my arms in victory. Then, I put on a solemn face and continued. 
 
 
 “ However, that is not all. I have an important announcement to make. As of today, I am stepping down from my role of Imperator of the Great Republic ” 
 
 
 The cheering stopped. Silence fell. Even the reporters packed around my stand stopped taking pictures to gape at me. Then, the whispers started. *The Imperator of the *entire planet* was simply stepping down? Impossible! Something ’ s wrong. He's sick, he's ill! * But no. I ’ d never felt better in my entire life. 
 
 
 “ Yes. Today, I will resign from my position. I will no longer be your glorious leader. As my replacement, I shall appoint my head general, Sir Alonso Shafi. ” 
 
 
 I looked back at Alonso. His eyes were wide, and he looked at me with his mouth wide open. As I gave him a small smile, he mouthed: *What the fuck? * 
 
 
 I turned back to the roiling masses, now on the brink of rioting. I was n't done. There was still one thing left. 
 
 
 “ But! But, but, but! Before I do so, I shall make my first, last, and only decree as Imperator. ” 
 
 
 Every man, woman, and child on the planet waited with bated breath for my next words. I liked the feeling of control, but that was n't what I was looking for. That was n't what I needed. 
 
 
 “ Let this law forever stand in the halls of time. Let it be known, here and now, that any man who, from this moment forwards, pronounces “ gif ” as “ jif ” shall be executed immediately. There shall be no exceptions, just as justice must be done swiftly and without hesitation. ” 
 
 
 Again, silence. This time, there was no whispering. 
 
 
 “ That is all. Thank you, and have a productive day. Glory to the Republic! ” 
 
 
 As the people of the Great Republic exploded into shouts and cries, I turned and stepped down from my podium. I had finally set things straight. The goal I had set out to achieve so many years ago had been realized. I had righted a wrong, and all the deaths I had caused as my armies conquered the globe was a small price to pay for the sins of a generation. As the new Imperator of the Great Republic turned around to scream my name, I slowly lowered a pair of shades over my eyes. It was done.
