[ WP ] all humans gain a super power on a random day of their life . you awake on your 70th birthday to discover you have finally gained your power .

At least it was n't something mundane. 
 
 People like to feel sorry for me, like I'm crippled or something. 
 
 Pfft. I've lived a decent, normal life - so what if I did n't have a power? I still grew up, went to college, got married, and did everything a normal guy would. 
 
 If you wan na feel sorry for someone, feel bad for the people who can remotely flush toilets, or turn into a rock, or change the channel without a remote or something. 
 
 Me? At least I had hope that *when* I got my power, it'd be badass. 
 
 And I got it, too, though I think I've given the orderly a heart attack. 
 
 I can set myself on fire, like the human torch. How fucking cool is that? 
 
 Kind of shitty that I'm not fireproof, though. 
 
 Fuck. 
 

