[ WP ] God decides to judge humanity one final time before the Apocalypse , so he opens a retail shop to observe them from a cashier 's perspective .

`` Good Morning!'' the teenager yawned, thankfully covering his mouth with his hand. `` Can I have a bottle of Coke?'' 
 
 `` Sure,'' God said, and reached into a cooler to put a bottle of the disgusting brown liquid onto the counter. `` That's 1 Euro and 50 Cents.'' 
 
 `` Fucking inflation!'' the teenager cursed under his breath as he reached into his wallet and put a Euro coin and a 50 Cent coin into the coin tray. 
 
 `` I am sorry, but I did n't understand you,'' God feigned interest out of the wish to make the teenager squirm. 
 
 `` Ah, you know, I know, you do n't make the prices, just tryin' to make a livin' yourself, but they're risin' and risin'! Cursed about that, I did! Economy's getting worse and no one seems to be in charge.'' 
 
 God was a bit surprised about the frankness of this person, but had to remind himself that he was in the disguise of a simple shopkeeper. He decided to reply non-committingly. `` Yeah, I know what you mean.'' 
 
 The teenager grabbed the bottle and scuffled off. 
 
 God communicated with the rest of trinity instantaneously: `` What a degenerate! He did n't even say *please*!'' 
 
 Jesus was much more mild on the person: `` He's tired. Cut him some slack!'' 
 
 `` He should have gone to bed earlier!'' 
 
 `` He was doing homework. You are omniscient as well but you surely not act on it. He was doing homework which took longer for him because *someone* gave him dyscalculia.'' 
 
 `` Are you serious‽ You would even find an excuse if Satan himself stood before you!'' God grumbled, but decided to let him go for now. 
 
 A while later, a man in threadbare clothes with dark hair and a graying mustache came to the kiosk. `` Marlboro?'' he asks. 
 
 God put a package of the cigarettes on the counter and stated the price. 
 
 The man put the note and coins on the counter asked: `` That?'' and upon God's nodding took the smokes. 
 
 `` Okay, Jesus, there is no way you can explain this person's rudeness.'' God stated angrily to basically himself. 
 
 `` With three words: Tower of Babel. If you talked to him in Kurdish, he'd be the nicest fellow around. But *someone* reacted disproportionately to a mere *building*.'' 
 
 `` Do you have to be such a smartass?'' 
 
 `` Comes from being raised in the absence of a biological father.'' 
 
 `` You're still angry about that? It's been two thousand years.'' 
 
 `` Maybe eventually I will get an actual apology - and before you try, we are one trinity, so I can feel your intentions.'' 
 
 `` And you can feel mine, so you know that this was necessary!'' 
 
 `` And you are aware that I still think that this plan was hare-brained.'' 
 
 `` It's too bad that I did n't have a *smart guy* like you on my side back then.'' 
 
 With a screech, the tram came to a halt at the nearby stop. Yuppies eagerly queued and demanded their caffeine, cigs, newspapers and the occasional lollipop. None of them was rude, but none of them went out of their way to be polite either. For yuppies, people like him were like a voice-operated vending machine. Eventually the queue ended. God took a deep breath. He did n't work that hard since that horrible day he had the idea to create the world. `` So, smartass, any redeemable qualities in these... scumbags? They are mostly working for the local bank... and you of course know about ursury.'' 
 
 `` Well, people are still unhappy about having to work, you know. Especially on a Monday morning. If *someone* kept the vermin out of the garden, you would not have to deal with that.'' 
 
 `` You want to go that far back? *Seriously*?'' 
 
 `` Yep, was not the brightest moment you had. It's something I expected from Mesopotamian gods, or maybe Babylonian ones.'' 
 
 `` You do n't bring that up! I fucking had it! You know what‽ If you are so clever, you get in charge of humanity! How'd'you like that‽'' 
 
 `` Sure! At least I do n't attempt to kill billions of humans just to distract from family drama!''
