[ WP ] `` I wo n't have time to explain all of this to them . '' Start or end your story with this sentence .

My dad was n't a bad man. He did what he needed to do and I never resented him or anything like that. I have good memories of him, but they're all these one-off stories that I remember. These things he did for me or that made an impression on me. As an all-around father figure though, I feel pretty indifferent. Because really he was indifferent when it came to me and my mother and my sister. We were there and he took care of us, but it was n't much different than how he took care of his car or the lawn or any of that. Maybe I did resent him a bit. 
 
 The point is that when my wife got pregnant, I did n't really know what I was gon na do. I just knew I was gon na be better than my dad. I did n't even really know what that meant at the time. Maybe be at more of the kid's soccer games, I do n't know. And when my son was born, after the panic died down a bit and we started to settle into some routines, I started thinking about it again. I started thinking about specific things. Like how old he should be before we share a beer and how to make sure he's smart, but not stuck up. And all these things kept adding up, these things I decided to do. And the more I thought of, the more I realized this dad thing really would be a full time job. Like maybe 18 years is n't even enough to do all the things I need to do to make him a man, you know? 
 
 And now he's six. And I know I should be thinking about the job. I know I wo n't be coming back and there are a whole lot of things that should be on my mind, but the only thing I'm thinking about is all that stuff I did n't do. And I'm just not sure how he's gon na do it all without me. 
 
 There's a really selfish part of myself that wants him to know that, in a way, this job is the best thing I can do for him. That even though he'll hate me for leaving and for having to raise himself that I'm not a real bad guy. So, could you, could you do me a favor and say some of that to him? The NASA boys say they can patch me through on one last phone call, but it wo n't last longer than a couple of minutes, and that's only enough to tell'em that I love'em. I wo n't have time to explain all of this to them.
