[ CW ] `` If you put them together it was obvious to see , but I 'd held them piece by piece , and my life was all the emptier for it . ''

I'm realizing now that there is so much left to know, and it's too late to know it all. 
 
 Glimpses are not enough. 
 
 Daryl and Cyrene are dead. Mazs is convulsing in the corner, moaning. Tears are staining the carpet. I ca n't stand to see her cry, but I ca n't help. 
 
 I am in a strange position. I'm sitting bolt-upright in a chair, screaming. But I'm not. I'm standing beside myself, watching. There's something else in me now, some thing that no one can know. It lives there now. 
 
 I used to help people. I did stuff, fixed things. But I saw too much. Much too much. And not enough. 
 
 They were secrets, I thought. The tricks behind the things we knew. They were just tricks, though. Daryl, Mazs, and Cyrene all believed in me. They believed in the secrets, and now they're all dead or dying. 
 
 We're all dying. This was supposed to fix that. It did n't. 
 
 I'm fading now, I can feel it. No anchor. Going. 
 
 I should have known. 
 
 If you put them together it's obvious to see, but I'd held them piece by piece, and my life is all the emptier for it. 
 
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 016
