[ WP ] A cult tries to summon a demon/God but manages to summon you instead .

I woke up to a loud chant, and I immediately hope I had n't woke up. 
 
 My head was throbbing with pain, like someone collected all my worst hungover and force-fed me with gas station nozzle. A flicker of torch fire caught my attention as I brought my body up into sitting position. 
 
 A group of five, one person in every corner of the pentagram, red hood covering their head. Runic inscription made a circle, connecting every point in the pentagram, and I curled right in the middle of it. 
 
 Wait, what? 
 
 `` O Tiarna go hiontach, phléadáil mé dhuit...'' one person, with green instead of red cloak, stepped forward and kneel in front of me, but I cut through her words. 
 
 `` In English please.'' the leader stood there confused for a moment, before resuming. 
 
 `` O great Lord, I plead thee for thy blessings, to purge the sinners who hath committed blasphemy upon thy holy name.'' 
 
 `` What day is it?'' I urged the leader. 
 
 `` Fifth month of Argantia, sixth year of Mtrup...'' 
 
 `` Holy Crayfish, I mean in Common Era, you dimwit.'' 
 
 `` It's November Fifteenth, 2016, my Lord.'' thank God, at least I'm in the same day as I went to sleep. Who did they think I am anyway? 
 
 `` Tell me, faithful follower, what is my name?'' 
 
 `` Thy name is of course, my Lord Zahar the Greatest, Lord of Unity and Conquer, Peace and Resolution.'' That's not my name. Not even close. How could they believe their Lord to be an overweight college student with acne problem, I have no idea. 
 
 But most importantly, how could I summoned here anyway? And how could I get away without a cult following my back, either with grimoires or sword? 
 
 `` Listen, Followers of Zahar. I'm not your Lord.'' but the leader stays unfazed. She stood up, with her hands clasped in her chest 
 
 `` I see that thy wish not to begin a war in thy name, my Lord, but a command would be enough for us, as tasked to fulfill your wish is an honor worth our lives.'' 
 
 `` I have no idea who in the Holy Crayfish's name this Zahar is. My name is Respatih, and unless you give me a way to return to my home, I'll seek closest law enforcement officer and your cult will be burnt down into ash.'' 
 
 `` Then you are but an impersonator, and your sentence for impersonating Great Lord Zahar is death.'' the leader removed the hood in her head, showing auburn hair shaded beautifully by the light from the torch, and brown eyes looking sharply into mine. White-hot fire enveloped her hands, no doubt ready to scorch my body. 
 
 `` Wait a damn second, you wrongly summoned me, removing me from my rightful home and my family without my consent, and then after realizing your mistakes, you tried to kill me instead. Followers of Zahar my ass. I thought your Lord was Lord of Unity and Conquest, not cowardly murder.'' 
 
 `` Do n't speak our Lord name so casually, heathen, lest you'd taste a fate more grotesque than my fire.'' she threw the fire on my way, which I miraculously avoided. A chunk of rock evaporated from the cave. 
 
 `` Holy Crayfish, you really are trying to kill me!'' 
 
 `` Well, duh. Brothers, hold him.'' 
 
 `` No, wait, please!'' the fire closed in to my face, and then everything went black. 
 
 I woke up to a loud chant, and I immediately hope I had n't woke up. 
 
 `` Not again...''
