[ WP ] The Government and Media have been lying and North Korea is actually a super advanced , peaceful Utopia . You 're an American who just crashed landed a boat in North Korea .

He finally came to the first house. He knocked on the door and prepared for the worst. 
 
 “ Hello! ” A pudgy man wearing sweat pants and a sweatshirt opened the door and chuckled. “ Wow you white! ” Dan ’ s eyes widened. 
 
 “ Speak English?! ” 
 
 “ No, American movie, ” the man chuckled again. 
 
 “ Boat. Crashed, ” Dan waved his hands dramatically. 
 
 “ Tom Hanks? ” The man asked with a smile. Now how the fuck do you know this? 
 Dan thought in bewilderment. 
 
 “ Yes! Yes! ” He practically shouted. 
 
 “ Okay, okay I call, ” the man said and called his wife. She did not speak English. He whispered into her ear. 
 
 “ Came in! Came in! Food, ” she articulated. That was all that Dan wished to hear. He came, and was directed to sit down in the kitchen by the table. 
 
 “ Pizza! For you! ” She reached into the freezer and put a frozen slice of pizza into the microwave. Dan was having a crisis. Everything that he ever knew about this country began collapsing. I must be in the one percent of society, he thought. He took a bite into the pizza. 
 
 “ Wow! ” He exclaimed, he could not fathom the fact that he was he was having pizza in North Korea. 
 
 “ I called. So you like it here American? ” The pudgy man came back. “ Its not that bad here. We have everything. ” 
 
 “ I always thought you had nothing, ” Dan thought out loud. 
 
 “ Look at me. Look at me. North Korean. Average life, ” the man gesticulated around the place. Dan nodded in agreement. He began to realize that North Koreans were regular people just like him. 
 
 “ You see Interview? ” The man laughed. 
 
 “ Yes, very funny, ” Dan replied. 
 
 “ It is not true, funny ”, the man replied. Dan was unsure of what that meant. 
 
 There was a loud knock at the door. A man in uniform. This is it, he thought. Another man in a tuxedo stood by his side. 
 
 “ Hello, welcome to our country. I see you like it here. I am from the immigration center. I will take you there now, ” The man in the tuxedo said. 
 
 “ Wow great English! ” Dan exclaimed. 
 
 “ No he memorized, ” the pudgy man entered the room chuckled yet again. 
 
 “ Bow down and praise are leader, Kim Jong Il, the king of the Earth, and the master of our universe, ” the man in the tuxedo yelled in rage all of a sudden. The soldier, the man in the tuxedo, and the women both fell down to their knees. 
 
 FUCK! Dan thought as he followed suite. 

