[ WP ] You live in a world where people randomly wake up in the morning to find out that their head has been turned into a toaster .

The frustrating thing about my marriage, is that my wife acquiring `` the toaster virus'' did n't really change a whole lot. We did n't talk much before it happened, and that did n't change after. The T-Virus does n't take away one's ability to talk mind you, it's just that she did n't use that ability much with me after the first couple years of our marriage. 
 
 Things went on more or less the same way for the next three years. One night, I came home from work to see red, rusty streaks down her face and realized she'd been crying. After an hour of pressing her for details, she finally confessed to me that she'd had a breakdown that afternoon after thinking `` This is it, this is what my life will be like.'' She'd been unhappy as a house wife before getting the T-Virus, and after it'd hit her, she'd thought things might change, but they had n't. 
 
 Looking me in the eyes she told me that she'd been fantasizing lately about discovering I'd been having an affair, so she'd have a socially valid reason to divorce me. It was n't even that she hated me enough to want to leave, just that she was so dreadfully bored than any kind of change would be welcomed. 
 
 Thinking for a moment, I said `` Okay, tell ya what. Give me one year... one crazy, wacky year of doing any silly idea that comes into my head. If you still want to leave me this time next year, I'll make it as easy and painless as possible.'' 
 
 `` What sort of crazy ideas do you have in store?'' 
 
 `` Say yes, and I'll show you.'' 
 
 `` I wan na know what I'm getting into before...'' 
 
 `` No. No preparation, no expectations. This is a leap of faith I'm asking for. You say yes to the unknown, and I give you a year unlike any other you've ever had.'' 
 
 She stared at me for five minutes before whispering the word I wanted. 
 
 I whipped out my mobile phone and called my boss. `` Darren, I wo n't be in tomorrow, or ever again... Fuck you, that's why. You're a pompous ass hat that bullies everyone below your position, and a spineless suck up who strokes the ego and licks the metaphorical asshole of everyone above you. I'm sick of taking your bullshit, so I'm done.... I do n't care about the project. Find someone else to take over.... go ahead. Sue me all you want, you still wo n't get another second of work from me, and you'll just waste company time and resources on a lawsuit that you'll lose... because I've got enough documentation of you making negative jokes about Joan's condition that I can establish a hostile work environment... No bullshit Darren, you come after me, and whether I win or not, you still lose because you end up looking like a horrible person, which makes the company look bad if they keep you in your position without reprimand or repercussion... Yeah, well you do that.'' 
 
 I snapped my phone closed and grabbed Joan's hand. She started to ask what Darren had said. `` It does n't matter baby, because he does n't matter. You and me do matter, so let's get onto the next thing.'' I pulled her into the car and drove over to the two dollar theater, the one that was always showing movies that had come out far enough back that they were done in the main theater. I picked the next movie starting, went in, found a seat in back, sat Joan down, and waited. When the lights dimmed and the trailers started, I got out of my seat, crawled on the floor over to hers, lifted her dress and removed her panties. Then I pressed my face into her crotch and went to town. 
 
 After the third time she orgasmed, I got up, took her hand and we walked out of the theater. I got some funny looks from the staff on the way out, and Joan grabbed some napkins out of her purse and started wiping my face as we made our way out to the parking lot. 
 
 After that I drove over to the porn shop on the edge of town and bought a bunch of kinky sex toys. I took Joan home and fucked her brains out. As we lay in each other's arms, drifting into slumber, I said `` Tomorrow, when we get up, we got some packin' to do. We're going to South America.'' I heard Joan sigh with pleasure. She'd been watching documentaries about that place for years. I did n't know where life was about to take us, but for the first time in years, I was excited to find out.
