[ WP ] You 're a movie director in 1970 filming a battle scene with 16,000 extras . Then you realize you 're commanding the 7th largest army in the world .

`` So he just boarded himself up in his trailer?'' Lenox, the head producer, demanded. 
 
 `` No, sir,'' his assistant said. The young man was sweating, but it was n't because of the mid-summer Arizona sun that pounded down on them. `` He's... he's in LA.'' 
 
 `` What?!'' Lenox threw his clip board against the cracked earth of the desert. `` You've got to be fucking joking! We've got 200 staff, 10 big name actors, and 16 fucking thousand extras out in this fucking desert, and this fucking prima donna skipped town over a fucking contract dispute?'' 
 
 Michaels, the director, walked to the edge of the hill and surveyed the thousands of men that lined the desert. Tucked under his arm was a newspaper describing the My Lai Massacre in Vietnam. Michaels's army wore Roman armor, carried a short sword by their side, and stood in perfectly formed ranks. 
 
 `` I mean,'' Lenox rambled on, `` we're spending tens of thousands of dollars just to keep any of these fucking extras from dying of thirst in this heat.'' 
 
 Michaels picked up his walkie talkie. `` Tell the army to march,'' he said. 
 
 An air horn rang out, and the men started to march westward. Despite not having any official training, they appeared to march in unison at that distance. Every one of those men believed that this role would be his big break and wanted to impress the cameras with how well he marched. 
 
 `` What the fuck are you doing?'' Lenox demanded, running up to Michaels. `` None of the cameras are running!'' 
 
 `` Then get them running.'' 
 
 `` Jesus Christ.'' Lenox fumbled for his walkie talkie. `` Start filming. We can at least get some shots of the army marching. Whatever you do, keep those cameras running.'' 
 
 The army proceeded toward the setting sun, and toward the small Arizona town where they had set up shop. The hiccup of a town had been generous hosts to the film crew. Especially generous considering this movie multiplied the population of their town by ten. 
 
 `` Alright, Michaels,'' Lenox said. `` They're just about on top of the town. Let's have them turn around and get them marching east. We can get a good shot with the sun at-'' 
 
 `` Keep going,'' Michaels said into his walkie talkie. 
 
 `` What do you mean,'keep going?''' Lenox asked. `` There's nowhere to go.'' 
 
 `` Have the men break down the doors of that antique shop,'' Michaels said. He paused as the voice on the radio replied. `` Yes, I'm sure,'' he said. `` We'll cover the damage.'' 
 
 `` Have you lost your mind?'' Lenox asked. `` What are you doing?'' 
 
 One contingent of the army charged into the town. The men threw rocks, breaking windows and began to kick down the door of the antique shop. The rest of the army, eager not to be left behind, rushed into the city as well. Before long, the carnage had spread to a diner next door and beyond. 
 
 `` What in the hell is wrong with you?'' Lenox demanded. `` Call them off!'' 
 
 `` Go ahead and try,'' Michaels said. 
 
 `` For God sake,'' Lenox picked up his walkie talkie. `` Perkins! Knock this bullshit off! Get everybody out of that town! Perkins!'' 
 
 Lenox continued to shout into his radio, but the men continued to wreak havoc in the small town. 
 
 `` It's amazing is n't it,'' Michaels said. `` Men will do almost anything if you give them a uniform and a few instructions. It's like we were programmed to obey. No wonder war is hell.'' 
 
 `` This is n't war!'' Lenox yelled. `` It's a fucking movie!'' 
 
 `` No it is n't,'' Michaels said. `` We ran out of money weeks ago. And our star just fled the state. This movie is ruined. As are we.'' 
 
 Lenox put his hands in his hair and looked at the flames that had begun to rise in the town. `` Then what the hell are we going to do now?'' 
 
 `` You said it yourself,'' Michaels said. `` Keep the cameras running.''
