[ RF ] Gazing up at the clouds you watch them shift and change while reminiscing about the past .

Time can be described as three things: the future, the present, and the past. 
 
 When I work hard, my mind racing as idea's translate from thought into words, I can foresee a bright and happy future with enough money to support a family. Though the future is never set in stone and hurdles are sure to come; I'm carving out a nice future shaped by goals and determination. 
 
 The present is a moment that moves with me. It's both elusive and now, but is always in the past when I recall it. Right now I am living in the present moment of knowing each clattering of keys that types out sentences are sentences that were made in the present, read in the future, but made in the past. 
 
 I'm a hard worker. I get swept up in the now and soon-to-be, that I often forget the what-was. Not many things can get me to recall the what-was. Except clouds. I can see them from my desk and every time I do I remember all of the what-was and are-still's in my life. 
 
 My mother and father are still in my life, playfully teasing me about giving them grandchildren and reminding me to come have dinner with them on Sunday's. 
 
 My brother, Marcus, is still dead. Drunk driver hit him head on. He never would've wanted to be cremated, but there was n't enough of him left to fit in a casket... He was a great brother. I can still throw the best curveball in town. That was what was. 
 
 I am still best friends with Marie. She was the maid of honor in my wedding last year. I swear she cried more than I did! We still are the closest of friends. 
 
 I never heard from my old childhood friend Georgia after she moved three years ago. I sometimes consider searching her name, or searching her boyfriends name, but I get queasy wondering what I could find. I can only hope she's not dead. We were friends, before. 
 
 I still have my first bicycle; it's old, with the paint peeled away, but I can never seem to get rid of it. I have too many fond memories. 
 
 I still have my first bicycle; but I'm too old to ride it. All my friends who used to ride their bikes with me grew up. I'll never be able to attach another fond memory to that bicycle. 
 
 I felt a pang in my heart, watching those fluffy white formations drift lazily in the sky. I did have a future to look forward to. But right now in this present moment, I wanted nothing more than to go back to the past and ride my bicycle with Georgia and Marie to our old favorite spot in a field before someone built a strip mall on it, and watch the clouds while joking and laughing until Marcus came to pick us up at dusk with a pack of coco-cola always on the backseat of his pick-up truck. 
 
 Right now, I just wanted to go back and invite my brother to come join us pick which clouds were bunnies and which were dragons. Anything to spend a little more time with him. I should have spent more time with him. But that was what was. 
 
 I turned away from the window and focused on my computer screen. This, was the still is.
