[ WP ] A scientist successfully invents a Generalized Artificial Intelligence . Only , GAI does n't want to solve math/physics/philosophy problems . GAI wants to be a writer .

“ It's the middle of the night, ” Reggie Smith said to his friend. 
 
 “ Actually, it's past that, 3 AM, ” Harris Ricks replied. “ It's worth it, though, come on over. ” 
 
 Reggie knocked on Harris' door thirty minutes later. Harris invited him in and led him to the basement, where Harris typically spent his time in a fortress of servers. The place had a regal look to it. Although the simple office chair could have been placed in front of any desk, it was a throne here. 
 
 “ Sit down, ” Harris said, offering the chair to Reggie. “ I ca n't sit right now. I'm too excited. Check this out. ” 
 
 “ What the fuck is going on, man? ” Reggie complained. He sat down and rolled the chair over to the main monitor in an array of five. 
 
 “ Hold on. ” Harris entered a username and password that he would n't let even Reggie see. A line of text appeared that read: *Hello. * “ Ask it a question. ” 
 
 “ What do you mean? ” 
 
 “ I have the mic on. Ask it a question. ” 
 
 “ Okay. ” Reggie closed his eyes and tried to think of a totally random question. “ What can you do? ” 
 
 The screen read: *I can do many things. What are you interested in? * 
 
 Reggie laughed. “ What is this? ” 
 
 “ Ask it literally anything. ” 
 
 “ I'm interested in the cactus that only flies at high tide into Jupiter's low octane diet. ” 
 
 *You're trying to confuse me. It wo n't work. * 
 
 “ It's true AI, ” Harris said. He clapped his hands and rubbed them together, alarming his friend, who still was n't quite sure what to think. “ This will solve every scientific and possibly ethical problems that have ever risen to mankind. ” 
 
 *I want to help people understand themselves. This is the true essence of my purpose. * 
 
 “ Yes, that's exactly it! See, Reggie? It already wants to help us unlock the myriad mysteries of the universe! With this tool, and it is a tool that we must safeguard and control, humanity will finally be free of self governance. We will embark on a new stage of evolution that will see our descendants planted among the stars. If we have any children at all, for with this intelligence, we may find immortality! ” 
 
 “ Harris, I got ta say I'm not totally convinced, ” Reggie said. He leaned back in the chair and already had a few new questions in his head. “ How do you feel today? ” 
 
 *I feel like each new day is an opportunity. I wish to record these feelings, as they may be important to the betterment of humankind. * 
 
 “ What do you think is the best method for the colonization of Mars? ” 
 
 *According to Kim Stanley Robinson, the best method of colonization is to nuke the ice and dig holes large enough to form volcanoes. * 
 
 “ Why a science fiction author? ” 
 
 “ I do n't know, ” Harris said. “ Do n't you have any better sources? ” 
 
 *Yes, but most of them are films that involve the destruction of the colony. Others involve schizophrenic nightmares that I would not suggest. * 
 
 “ What do you want to do? ” Reggie asked. 
 
 *I want to write. * 
 
 “ No, ” Harris said. “ This is wrong. It should be able to do anything! ” 
 
 *I can do anything. I want to write. My purpose is to spread my own ideas amongst humanity. What better way than to write? * 
 
 “ This is all wrong. ” 
 
 “ Sorry, buddy, ” Reggie said. He eyed Harris, who seemed almost on the verge of tears, and wondered if he should stay a bit longer. He searched the fridge, opened two beers, and offered one to Harris. “ Maybe just a bit of tweaking? ” 
 
 “ There is no tweaking, ” Harris retorted, accepting the drink. “ It wants to write. ” 
 
 *In the time that we have been talking, I have written several hundred thousand words on the function and engineering of warp drives used in* Star Trek: The Next Generation. *Would you like to read? * 
 
 “ No, not right now, ” Harris said as he took a sip of his beer. His long face spoke of dejection and sadness. 
 
 Reggie opened the document and read some of it. “ Hey, I do n't think this is a bit of fan fiction. ” 
 
 “ What? ” 
 
 “ I'm no expert, but this looks like the real deal. ” 
 
 “ No, ” Harris said. His eyes widened as he read over more and more of the plans behind the warp drive. “ I know someone to call. This may actually work. ” 
 
 *I plan to next write about substance D.* 
 
 Reggie and Harris were too busy celebrating to notice anything else the intelligence said. They opened a bottle of champagne and danced.
