[ WP ] The world witnesses the first virgin birth sine modern medicine and with the population outcry , God shows up for a paternity test ...

Tonight on the Maury Show, one woman questions her previous soul mates to find out which one is the father of her baby! 
 
 *Queue Intro* 
 
 **Maury**: So Tina, let me get this straight, in 23 years, you've gone through *three* different religions? Is that right Tina, three at such a young age? 
 
 **Tina**: For so long I was lost and confused, these deities all offered me comfort and warmth, the fires of Mount Olympus, the halls of Valhalla.... they were all so nice to me.... 
 
 *Maury leans in closer, he speaks a bit accusingly* 
 
 **Maury**: So then why keep changing your mind Tina? Why not just stay with one of them? 
 
 **Tina**: I was so young... at 8 years old I found Jesus, he was like a brother to me, warm, caring. Always there with a hug and his big open arms. After awhile Jesus introduced me to his father Jehovah, and I started spending a lot of time in their house. My parents were n't ever around, ya know? My place was n't exactly a home, while the house of Jehovah seemed so... safe. 
 
 *Maury changes his accusatory look from earlier to a more friendly, compassionate one of concern* 
 
 **Maury**: Then when Tina? What made you run away from Jehovah? 
 
 **Tina**: One night, we were all at the house of Jehovah's friends, and there was some big commotion outside, I think Jehovah has angered someone or something, I do n't know, I was so young.... 
 
 *Tina sniffles and it looks like she is going to start crying, but she pulls herself together and continues* 
 
 **Tina**: There was an argument, and Jehovah's friend came back inside and told me and his daughters to go out and `` entertain'' the men... once I realized what was being suggested, I ran out the back door as fast as I could and I never looked back. 
 
 *Tina breaks down into tears at this point* 
 
 *Maury moves in closer and puts a comforting arm around Tina* 
 
 **Maury**: That is so hard to believe, someone you trusted so much, would do that to you. How old were you Tina, how would were you when this happened? 
 
 *Tina looks up briefly, tears running down her face* 
 
 **Tina**: 12 
 
 **Maury**: My word. 
 
 *Maury turns away from Tina, sits up and looks into the camera* 
 
 **Maury**: Stay with us, as Tina tells us the rest of her sad, sad, story. 
 
 *Cut to commercial break* 
 
 More coming soon!
