[ WP ] You are an escalator inspector sick of his job . On the other hand , you 've developed quite the collection of escalator-related puns .

Changed to elevator operator instead. 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- - 
 
 An uptight, tall, put-together man stepped in. 
 
 `` Down,'' he said, not looking up from his phone. `` Ground floor.'' 
 
 `` Why? Are you high?'' 
 
 He looked at me sharply. *'' Excuse me? `` * 
 
 `` You know, because we're on the 19th floor...'' 
 
 He did not seem amused. 
 
 `` Never mind, sir. I apologize.'' 
 
 So many people were like that. Uptight. Too self-important to appreciate a good joke. 
 
 That's why I hate this job. 
 
 -- -- -- - 
 
 Another man stepped in on the 2nd floor. 
 
 `` Hello, sir. What floor, please?'' 
 
 `` 8th,'' he replied. He did n't look at me either. 
 
 `` How's your work treating you?'' 
 
 No answer. Whatever. 
 
 `` Mine is fine. It has its ups and downs, but overall, it's a nice job.'' 
 
 I do n't even know if he heard me. 
 
 -- -- -- -- 
 
 7th floor. All angles, no curves, pale as death with black hair pulled tightly back in a teapot handle bun. Could n't have been less that forty. She was wearing a tweed skirt and suit-coat, too. 
 
 Oh, I betcha *she'd* have gotten offended by my drug-joke. It's a good thing I used it already. 
 
 `` Hello, ma'am.'' 
 
 `` 11th.'' 
 
 *Rude. * 
 
 `` Of course.'' 
 
 There was a long silence of about 10 seconds. 
 
 `` How've you been?'' 
 
 `` Fine.'' 
 
 `` My life has been on the up and up lately. I've had my downs, sure, but at the moment I'm doing pretty good.'' 
 
 She probably did n't notice. 
 
 *You noticed, though. You noticed. * 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- 
 
 An elderly man stepped on. 
 
 `` He–'' 
 
 `` Basement.'' 
 
 That's weird. I do n't why he would be going down there. He was wearing a nice suit, his hair was tastefully styled, and, if I'm not mistaken, he was wearing a Rolex. 
 
 `` Is it depressing working there?'' 
 
 He ignored me. 
 
 `` I would n't let it get you down.'' 
 
 He kept ignoring me. Whatever. 
 
 Some people just have no sense of humor. 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- - 
 
 Another lady, somewhat elderly, but not grandmotherly or matronly at all. More like a mean nun. 
 
 `` What floor, ma'am?'' 
 
 `` 16th.'' 
 
 `` How's your work been treating you lately?'' 
 
 `` It keeps me busy.'' 
 
 `` I know what you mean. Elevators can really push my buttons sometimes.'' 
 
 She probably did n't get it. That was one of my better ones. 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- 
 
 `` Robert!'' I knew Robert. I'd seen him before. Real nice guy. 
 
 He does n't like me. 
 
 He sighed a bit. `` Hey, Nate. Take me to the 21st floor, please.'' 
 
 `` Sure thing.'' 
 
 He pulled out his phone. 
 
 I walked up behind him and peered over his shoulder. 
 
 `` Dude, are you texting Stacy? What is this?'You looked cute today?''' 
 
 He pushed his phone against his chest. `` That's none of your business!'' 
 
 `` Wow, snapping at me when I'm just trying to be a good friend and take an interest in your life? That's just wrong on so many levels.'' 
 
 He looked at me, defeated. 
 
 `` Get it? Because we're on an elevator...'' 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- -- - 
 
 Another passenger from the ground floor. 
 
 `` Where to, ma'am?'' 
 
 `` 23rd floor.'' 
 
 She did n't make eye contact with me either. They rarely did. 
 
 `` What a ride,'' I said, under the premise of making small talk. `` 23 floors up.'' 
 
 She did n't say anything. 
 
 A minute or two later, we arrived. `` Well, *that* escalated quickly. Did not expect that.'' 
 
 She did n't really react. Probably did n't get it. Or maybe it's because we're not on an escalator. 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- -- 
 
 `` Hey, Mary!'' I knew Mary; everyone knew Mary. She was the boss's secretary, and the only person who actually liked me. 
 
 `` Hey, Nate. Take me down to the 8th floor, please.'' 
 
 `` How's your desk been treating you lately?'' 
 
 `` Same old, same old.'' 
 
 `` Not me. The elevator seems to have been getting slower lately. I think it may be coming down with something.'' 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- 
 
 `` How are you today?'' 
 
 `` Fine.'' 
 
 `` I'm pretty good. Something about my job just elevates my mood.''
