[ WP ] You have a white noise sleep machine . One night when the sleep machine is set to sound like an office/work environment you hear something strange in the background .

As I lay awake in bed, listening to my expensive as hell white noise machine ( $ 9300! ), my mind wandered. Are the people in the `` office'' actually real workers, or did somebody pay them to scribble useless things, staple useless pieces of paper together, mash useless keys on useless keyboards? Better yet, what's the difference between that and a normal office environment? If you really get down to it, work is just a distraction from the true wonders of life, whatever they may be. 
 
 The noise hushed. I looked over at the machine. It seems to be functioning perfectly. I was about to roll out of bed and give it a good kick when it started blaring sirens. Did I set an alarm on it? I checked the manual quickly. Nope. You ca n't even set an alarm on the machine. However, tucked between two paragraphs about proper cord use and storage, a single line caught my eye. 
 
 `` The office setting is a real office at the facilities of CERN.'' 
 
 As I tried to process this information, a voice said, loud and clear, `` Prepare for 13 TeV pulse. Repeat, prepare for 13 TeV pulse.'' 
 
 What in the world was a Tev? I pulled out my phone to search it up on Google. As I typed in `` CERN TEV'', the same voice said, in a panicked tone, `` Prepare for black hole, code 413. Code 413, black hole formation.'' Screams emanated from the machine. The last thing I heard before the machine fizzled and died was `` The black hole's closed. Wait, what are those things? Hel-'' 
 
 No time to waste. I rushed down to my garage and picked up my trusty crowbar. It was time to go to Switzerland.
