You 're moments late to literally everything . You watch busses pull away as you run behind them , girls get asked out as you walk up to them , and you have never caught a green light . One day though , you arrive on time . [ WP ]

I swear it's involuntary. I swear I do my best, but it always happens. 
 
 No matter how hard I try, there's always something that keeps me from being on time. It can be something as simple as not finding my keys, or something as big and elaborate that you thought you would only see it in the eleventh installment of Final Desination. 
 
 The fact is, I'm always late. I try my best, but it always happens. 
 
 I swear. 
 
 I lie. 
 
 It takes a lot of effort and planning and improvisation to always manage to be late. It has taken me a whole life of practice. 
 
 I do n't know why I started doing it, it just... kinda happened. I started, and I stuck to it, and I never knew why, until today. Today, for the first time in years, I will be on time. 
 
 I was late, but not by much, to our weekly coffee, and I heard what they were preparing. So today, when my friend called me and asked me to drop by his house at seven, I was prepared. 
 
 I'm going to be there exactly at seven, and I will enter and find my wife and my best friend, pouring the poison in my cup. And I will shoot them. 
 
 For once, I will be exactly when I need to be.
