[ WP ] A struggling vet student , realizes he can talk to animals . The animals have a vastly different view of humans than we think they do .

`` Wait, what do you mean my owner?'' said the orange tabby. 
 
 The cat laid upon the counter, and momentarily stopped licking his paw, curiously awaiting my reply. 
 
 `` You know, your owner, the people who brought you in today for your check up?'' I replied nervously. 
 
 `` Ohhhhh, them, haha owners, you called them? Those are my worshippers.'' The cat resumed licking itself cooly. 
 
 I set the clip board down on the table, and wheeled over on my stool. I gave him a pat on the head, he looked at me disapprovingly. 
 
 `` No touch'' said the cat. 
 
 Fair enough. 
 
 `` Why do you call them worshippers?'' I asked. 
 
 `` Why would n't I? You call them owners, I'd call that misguided. Let's look at the facts here. They have built me a palace, and attend to it daily, keeping it clean so that I may enjoy it. Three times a day I am fed, only the finest vittles from silver cans. Then in the evenings, after a day of lazing about, they come in the room and rub me. Worshipping my fur, and my beauty, they leave offerings to me in the form of mousey toys which I amuse myself with occasionally.'' 
 
 `` Well I... I guess you're right.'' I replied. 
 
 `` Obviously.'' the cat retorted, `` And if you can argue with that, then argue with this. When I take a poop, the worshippers come in and take it away. From what I believe that take it to another room, likely collecting it, to further worship my excrement. I am their God. And they are my loyal devotees. My temple attendants.'' 
 
 The cat stood, and vomited on the table. 
 
 `` Now clean that up.'' he said.
