[ WP ] Satan is a single father trying to raise his son , who , in a rebellious phase , is all into peace , love , and harmony .

It was the deafening silence int the Hall of Misery that stirred The Lord of Madness from his slumber.He went back to sleep when the dreadful shrieks snatched away his remaining drowsiness.Terrible ringtone, he muttered and pulled up a portal.Lucifer viewed the Earth and that's when he heard it - the singing.He couldnt believe his thousand ears.He ripped them off and they grew back but there was the singing.The humans were singing....Christmas carols? In fucking July! 
 
 
 `` Something must have gone terribly, terribly right'', he thought as he screamed in his dark tongue `` BRING ME THE REPORT''.A bunch of excel printouts popped out of the rotting orifices of the 5th circle of Hel which also housed aAccounting.Azareal flipped through the pages and grew more and more concerned.This is not right at all.Somehow, the humans had developed world peace and got rid of hunger and their nukes.This did not make sense.Only a true Lord of the Cosmic could do this.Was it Him? No, no, not him.Some twat said that `` He was dead'' and He has been in a passive aggressive mood ever since. Belzebub's many eyes widened and he let out a dark and groan. 
 
 
 `` BARRY, GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!'' 
 
 
 Barry stormed into the flaming pit and Satan's annoyance sky rocketed.Barry was dressed like a heathen- all white tunic, flowing beard, sandals and eye glasses to hide his empty eye sockets. 
 
 
 Satan grimaced as he asked him'' Barry dearest, did you spread everlasting joy and banish evil on the mortal realm? `` He knew the answer to this but he hoped that he didnt hear it. 
 
 
 `` Yeah, I guess I kinda did'', Barry said with the listlessness of a librarian. 
 
 
 `` This is a prank right? Their joy will turn to ash and their children wiLl perish in the wombs, correct? Please tell me that this is a prank'' 
 
 
 Barry rolled his eyes in indignation,'' No, I just helped them with their problems so that they'd be ready for my music.Ca n't listen to Sufi when there is greed and starvation and dubstep to worry about.Plus it's nice to be nice.'' 
 
 
 Satan had stopped listening halfway through.His blood was boiling and curdling at the same time. `` NO SON OF MINE IS GOING TO BE A MUSICIAN! YOU GO BACK TO YOUR CHASM AND DO N'T YOU DARE COME OUT UNTIL I TELL YOU SO! ``, he roared as venom and spit flew out of many mouths. 
 
 
 Barry was taken aback and turned around quickly so that his father wouldnt see his eyes welling up with acid and goo.He stormed out shouting `` THIS IS A HOUSE OF LIES!''. 
 
 
 Odd compliment, Satan thought and he looked at the portal again.He sighed and began to contemplate.Where did he go wring with Barry? He used to be so enthusiastic about inflicting eons- old misery on the mortal puppets.Now all he does is blast his terrible gospel music and sneak out to give alms to the poor on the streets of Rome.Last month it was building cathedrals and now this hideous fashion. 
 
 
 The Ancient One scratched his temples and thought about just throwing him in sewage and maggots and be done with it all.But he could n't. Barry was just a kid and this was just a phase ( he hoped ). 
 
 
 Apollyon took another looked at the gleeful humans prancing about their sudden utopia.This would take centuries to undo.Time to break out some plague and pestilence.
