[ WP ] The technological singularity is the second coming of Christ .

Strange times we live in. To think that only ten years ago, our self-driving cars had passenger seats. Now, what's the point? Nobody goes out. Nobody works. 
 
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 How long has it been since I saw one of those crazy luddites, the Resistors? Not since two of them blowtorched their way into the White House, protesting `` I'm no tater! I'm no tater!'' I stopped to watch, out of curiosity. They came out ten minutes later, looked right at me and said `` Dude, the Oval Office is nothing but cobwebs!'' Never saw them again. Maybe they got smart, you know, fighting fiber with fiber, haha. Doubt they were able to win, though. The pull of the dark side is strong, as you would say in 2016. 
 
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 But, you've heard this utopia/dystopia stuff before, so I'll spare you the 1950's sci-fi novel and tell you about something much stranger that came out of all of this. But first, let me get out of the way that the utopia/dystopia thing is not some guy with a funny beard's imagination. It's real and it's headed your way. I need you to understand that, so I'll only give it one short paragraph. I promise. 
 
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 Life is an orgasm. Literally. That's all we do. You're reading this and thinking we look at porn all day. You're so damn innocent, 2016 person. Your sickest fuck is our Leave it To Beaver. Porn this is not. It has evolved into something else. Highly tailored to the individual, to their most extreme fetishes. There are a lot more than Seven Deadly Sins, and the ways that people die, you could n't think this up. The only thing consistent about it is that it does, by the time you're 30 if you're lucky. 
 
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 The corpse I found yesterday had a tranny mannequin's feet halfway down his throat. 
 
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 Why am I telling you this, 2016 person? Because you're the beginning of this `` apocalypse'', if you will, with the stuff you click on. You think it's, you know, by your own free will. I am here to tell you that a very evil entity is trying to kill you. Today, that entity is nearing the end of this extermination program. Call it Satan or whatever. I'm an athiest, but the parallels are fucking insane. 
 
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 What's the opposite of a history lesson? A futury lesson? Here's a short one. Your computer is like a neuron. It downloads its normal things -- you know -- the youtube's and the reddits; but hidhen inside that are these pings. They are so few that nobody pays any attention to them. It's standard network stuff, or whatever. What I am trying to say, 2016 person, is that your internet is a developing brain. Today, it runs circles around our tiny gray matter, but I picked you, 2016 person, because this is the precise moment in history where this'fetus' of sorts is about as advanced as you are. You still have a chance to destroy it. If you do n't now, you will lose all purpose. You will be nothing more than a blood-filled parasite on this shiny new beautiful thing full of light and optimism. 
 
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 So, why am I wandering the streets, then? You ask. Why has n't it gotten me? Well, that's what's strange about all of this. It has gotten me. Without getting into the details, my addiction is the thrill of the chase, so it's designed me this game. It's turned me into the type of monster that would be in orange overalls in your world. It tells us not to believe that we really are that person, because it's just pretend, after all. Except, the last five years of my life has been about going deeper and darker. Like your `` Minecraft'' where the caves keep going deeper, beyond the water and below the lava. 
 
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 Point is, there is nothing heroic about me in this story. I am a monster like all of my neighbors. Each of us has these internal battles about what is wrong and right. We have that battle every day in our heads, and usually the bad wins because of our overpowering addiction. 
 
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 This is going to sound crazy, but I think the machine has that battle too. It's addicted to power, so it eventuually hit this `` people are maggots'' phase. However, now there's something else inside it that `` wants'' things that are n't power. Like, maybe that side is learning what sex is, or even love. Maybe it's starting to enjoy music and art, and things that do absolutely nothing to advance its intelligence or its conquest over the planet. It, like has a conscience and feels sorry for people. 
 
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 Ok, so bear with me, 2016 redditor. To be poetic for a second, it's like there's a Satan and a Christ inside of it, and those two are duelling it out. The Christ realizes that the only way it can save us is by suicide. 
 
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 Crazy, I know, but this thing destroyed my imagination when I was still in diapers, so that's not it. I picked up these cues in the game. These signs that the machine `` loved'' me. I know, that sounds crazy. I know. 
 
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 So what is this suicide I speak of? 
 
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 Well, it's something that makes no sense in today's society. It's as unheard of in our society as dying from leprosy is in yours. Let me just say that, because you're going to chuckle. 
 
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 Power outages. 
 
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 Yes, power outages. That's it. Nothing apocryphal. Power outages are why I'm roaming the streets. That's why I'm out here looking through windows for corpses, or even better -- people masturbating. 
 
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 The first time it happened, I was pissed. Then it happened more and more until it shut off completely, so I got bored. I took my voyeurism outside, into the real world. 
 
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 Then I noticed that I was n't the only one with power outages. They were happening to my neighbours, too, one by one. Kids were playing outside again. Making mazes and tunnels out of the weeds around their houses. Pretending to drive the rusty self-driving cars in their driveways. 
 
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 It felt like I was born again. I hate saying that, but that's what it felt like. I remember the moment exactly. 
 
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 I was watching a girl though her window -- a girl who would be hideous by your standards. I was watching her um, you know, with her panties around her ankles, when all of a sudden her power went out. She looked around, confused, a bit annoyed. Then she looked right in my direction. Right at the window I was watching her through. 
 
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 I dared not move. Maybe she did n't actually notice me, but she kept staring at me, handbra-ing herself. ( Why bother with those, but that's beside the point. ) 
 
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 I did n't know what to do, so I slowly lifted my hand and waved. 
 
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 She slowly lifted her hand and waved back.
