[ WP ] God decides to open up a technical support line in order to handle the ever-increasing number of prayers he is receiving .

`` Hello, thank you for holding, my name is Gabe....yes....and what is your prayer today....I am sorry, but there is already an open support ticket for'World peace'....thank you for your interest, have a good night.'' 
 
 `` Hello, thank you for holding, my name is Gabe....no....I'm afraid I ca n't transfer you to the saintly intercession department....they're located in a different call center....thank you, have a good night.'' 
 
 `` Hello, thank you for holding, my name is Gabe....yes, you've reached the prayer line....yes, your son Jimmy....no, I'm afraid there's currently a points blackout on miraculous cures for cancer....yes, just a scheduling issue....sorry for your future loss....have a good night.'' 
 
 `` Hello, thank you for holding, my name is Gabe....no, this is n't Delta Airlines....you can pray for first-class tickets to La Guardia if you want....no, they're not guaranteed....again, we are not the airline....yes....thank you, have a good night.'' 
 
 `` Hello, thank you for holding, my name is Gabe....what is your prayer today....beauty pageant... certainly, ma'am....God always intercedes in beauty pageants....have a good night.''
