[ WP ] You ’ re a supervillain who really just enjoys ruining people 's days . Summon rain on people sitting in the park , waking people up at 3AM using your sonic booms while flying through the air , stuff like that . You ’ re on holiday when a real villain decides to take your city hostage ... You 're furious .

`` Does he have no respect for tradition!?'' He proclaimed, fuming. His thick glasses were practically steaming from anger, and spittle was collecting on his thick, bushy moustache. `` That hack Arsonist knows that Erie is my town!'' The city was hardly even worth bragging rights, but the union had specifically stated that terrorizing the residents the sleepy, rust-belt city was the sole purview of The Pest. He'd been at it for well over a decade now and hoped to one day retire, only to be terrorized by the next supervillain assigned there. 
 
 Of the fourteen years since Gordon Allen, known to a select few as The Pest, had completed his master's thesis on super villainy, twelve had been spent cultivating his specific brand of annoyance as terrorism in the Lakeside town. He had done his externship under the Terror of Toledo, so was familiar with what it takes to rule over the piteous wretches in the upper Great Lakes region. In all of those years, this was the first time he'd left his post for anything more than a weekend. 
 
 He was shouting into his phone, so woefully outdated that it did n't even have video capabilities, at the upper midwest, regional steward of the American Federation of Super-Villains. `` You said I was cleared to take a vacation, Patty! Why would you tell me I'm cleared if you knew this was going to happen?'' 
 
 `` Mr. Allen,'' she droned, `` I never said we were aware that this would happen, I was just asking you to take into consideration that Mr. Harper is very territorial and runs on a relatively short fuse.'' 
 
 James Harper, better known as The Arsonist, spent most of his time setting buildings in the Greater Cleveland Metropolitan Area ablaze, considering these nefarious proclivities his contribution to increasing the level of chaos in the world. The city council, on the other hand, viewed his efforts quite differently, and had thrice granted him the keys to the city in honor of his efforts to clean up blight and further urban redevelopment. The fact that his endeavor towards evil had been so misunderstood led The Arsonist to carry himself with a certain defeatist impotence. He often acted as if the world owed him something, and regularly demanded a more worthy charge than Cleveland at the quarterly Union meetings. 
 
 `` He claims to have took it as a personal affront when he found out you were coming to his neck of the woods.'' Patty explained. `` Says he wanted to show you.'' 
 
 `` Jesus, Patty. I'm not encroaching on his territory. I drove through with the wife to take the kids to Cedar Point to ride some roller coasters. You know as well as me that we have easements granted for leisure travel. Besides, the park absolutely falls under the restriction on terrorizing amusement and leisure activities, it was passed into law half a decade ago.'' 
 
 `` The laws are still a bit vague on that, Gordy. You know that the law specifically grants asylum to new constructions for tax purposes. They're still hammering out the addendum to roll-in old construction.'' She argued, trying to sway Gordon to her way of thinking. 
 
 `` Yeah, but Cedar Point sold to Six Flags once the law passed so that they'd be cleared, new ownership means new enterprise.'' He had planned on relaxing, not spending his vacation arguing over bureaucracy. Jill had gotten the kids off to the pool and was waiting for him to come back to the room for a romantic evening. He hated letting her see him working, though, so had stepped out to take the car in his Nissan Versa. `` Christ, Patty. I've been working for The Commission for twelve years now and have barely broken $ 50K. This is the first time I've gotten away and you shit the bed. My mother in law is still there in Erie, what am I supposed to do if something happens to her.'' 
 
 `` You know as well as I that there are certain dangers to working in the field, Mr. Allen, and if anything happens to her you know that the Union benefits package extends to all extended family, so she'll be well taken care of.'' 
 
 `` I do n't want her taken care of, God damnit! I want some level of professionalism from this organization! Do I not pay my dues every month without fail, and anytime the Union needs anything I'm on my feet in an instant, without question.'' Gordon was furious, now. He could feel the blood pulsing past his temples. `` It does n't matter if he burns Cleveland down, half the residents probably do n't notice anyways. For Christ's sake, their rivers catch fire on their own. Erie is a nice town, he's gon na fuck everything up.'' 
 
 `` Mr. Allen!'' Patty scolded. `` You may be on vacation, but I do n't have to stand for that sort of abuse. We are doing everything we can. Keep your phone on and we'll let you know if matters progress.'' 
 
 Gordon slammed his phone shut and gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles had gone white. He lowered his head to the wheel and let out a loud shout just as the door opened. 
 
 `` What's wrong, honey?'' Jill asked, rubbing her husband's shoulder to comfort him. `` You seem so tense, I thought this trip was to relax.'' 
 
 `` Can you round up the kids. We've got to go back. Something came up at the office.'' 
 
 `` But Gordon, you promised.'' She warned. `` They've been looking forward to this all summer, and they start back to school next week. Who knows when we're gon na get another chance at family togetherness like this?'' 
 
 `` Jill, if we do n't get back to Erie as soon as possible, they wo n't have a damn school to go back to!'' He had n't meant to raise his voice. 
 
 Jill had been a saint these past few years. When they started dating in grad school, she did n't mind that he was vague about his major. As work took over more and more of his life, she did n't question just what went on at `` the office.'' She had sacrificed her continued studies to raise the kids. He knew she still would love nothing more than to earn her doctorate and go into teaching. She'd made such sacrifices for him. 
 
 `` What makes you think that damn job is so important that the whole city will fall into disrepair if you do n't spend every waking minute there?'' She demanded. `` You have a family.'' 
 
 `` Not now, Jill. Please?'' He pleaded, continuing to bang his head softly on the steering wheel as she stormed off to collect the kids.
