[ WP ] The world 's oldest , most powerful wizard has had enough of his life . After two thousand years of adventure and magic he desires normalcy . Today is his first day at work as a janitor for an office building . He 's determined to fit in and not use his powers . How does it go ?

Splendid days begin splendid, and that's how Syd's began. I should've known something was up when he applied with the name'Siddaman Yor,' a name I could n't even find with the most exotic Google searches. I should've known something was up when he tried using the mop like a magic wand to clean up spilled coffee. I should've known something was up when he called our brand old 3D printer'the most charming non-magic form of sorcery he'd ever seen.' 
 
 But I did n't, because Syd commanded an air of ineducable mysticism so unnervingly charming that I could n't help but notice how blue the sky was, or how simply pleasant it was to hear the robins sing. Even when I had to show the guy how to use a phone, I did n't pay him any attention. It was like my mind became all cloudy whenever I was around him. 
 
 What tipped me off that he was different was when he kept *apologizing* for mystifying me. Said something like, `` It's difficult for me to control it'' and `` My power is just too big these days.'' 
 
 At the time, I thought he was bragging about his penis, and I pat his shoulder and told him he's an impressive little man who did n't need to worry about it. 
 
 `` We're all special in our own way,'' I said. `` My magic wand is semi-autonomous, like Elon Musk's cars.'' 
 
 His eyes flared and he said, `` What make is your wand? Was it crafted by Sarlon of Vayeci?'' 
 
 And I walked briskly back to my desk, the conversation having spiraled out of control into areas that reminded me of my childhood at summer camp. 
 
 Not much happened for the rest of the day, until I heard his familiar Ozzy Osborne-esque timbre wailing at his overturned bucket. He was speaking some freakish language that sounded like a mix between Latin and Chinese. The water floated and condensed into an orb, and with a thrust of his hand, he pushed it into the bucket as if it were some magic spell. 
 
 I made the sign of the cross and ran. Did n't have anymore problems from Syd after that— I think he finally got this whole'normality' thing down— but I still kept my distance. 
 
 The day did n't end so splendidly when a goblin busted into my office and held me at ax-point, demanding the location of'the one known as Siddaman Yor.' When I woke up, I was in a stretcher being treated for a heart attack. When I saw Syd wink at me, standing in front of the ashes of my former workplace, I screamed like Alex strapped into the ol' Ludovico.
