[ WP ] A man orders a `` cheese pizza with no crust '' from a local pizza delivery joint as a joke . Unbeknownst to him , that pizza joint is a drug front and he just placed an order for a kilo of cocaine .

Ted finished reading off his credit card numbers to the guy on the other end of the line. `` Now, you're ABSOLUTELY certain you want the cheese pizza with no crust?'' he was asked again, for the third time. `` Yes! My wife ca n't tolerate gluten, stop asking. Are you saying you ca n't make it? Because I'm sure someone can handle my order if you ca n't.'' The only reply was a grunt and the *click* of someone hanging up. 
 
 `` Honey!'' Ted yelled into the next room, `` Honey, I'm not sure about this new pizza place. It's like they did n't even know what to do when I told them I wanted to pay with my card. Watch, this is going to take forever and not even be as good as your brother said. Why did we take his advice anyway? Something's wrong with that kid.'' 
 
 *ding-dong ding-dong ding-dong* 
 
 `` All RIGHT! I get it! You're at the door, jesus, calm the fuck down. I ca n't teleport to it now can I? What, what do you want? A tip? That's not happening buddy, it's been TWO hours and this is n't even close to being hot. Not to mention the box is all banged up, what's that bulge there in the middle? Get the hell out of here, and hope I do n't call the boss on you.'' 
 
 The large, neckless, and angry looking man who had shoved the misshapen package in his hands as soon as the door was open merely let out a familiar grunt before spinning on his heels and stalking off. 
 
 As Ted reached for the flap to open the undoubtedly horrible pizza, a scream came from the living room. `` THEODORE JOSEPH WILLIAMS! Why the HELL is there a thirty-five thousand dollar charge on the Visa?!''
