[ WP ] The straw that broke the Grimm Reaper 's back

Brrkkzztrr Brinsonn, last of his kind, and indeed last of any kind swayed lazily above his favourite rock. 
 
 Brinsonn, being a mutant mayfly, had achieved the capacity for thought that his fore bearers never could, and very much enjoyed pondering on the mysteries of life, but most of all he liked thinking about his rock. 
 
 The rock had been there since he could remember. For all he knew, it was the oldest thing in existence. It was n't, but a mayfly, even a mutant one, ca n't be expected to know such things. 
 
 Brrkkzztrr had spent almost every waking moment of his life studying, probing and considering the deeper significance of the rock, but due to an unfortunate genetic blind spot, he was totally unable to come to grips with the concept of'underneath'. 
 He had not once in his long freakish years considered the possibility that there might be something hidden under his rock. 
 
 Had he done so, he would have reached some very insightful and interesting conclusions on life and the universe. 
 
 As it happens, he did in fact eventually have that epiphany, albeit about three seconds before he was duly squashed by his coveted aggregate of minerals. The last thought that trailed through his insect mind was something like „hmm “, but it would have sounded slightly more of spittle and grinding of mandibles and jointed limbs. 
 If anyone had been around to hear it, they would have been disappointed with the sound the last being in the universe gave when its life came to an end. „That's it? “, they would say, „That's all? One pathetic splat and a squeak? Not even a dying battle roar? No ode to the beauty and transience of all things?! Bloody typical! “ 
 
 No one alive was around to say that though. Certainly no one English. There would never be anyone or anything alive or English ever again. Just a grinning silhouette. 
 
 This was the beginning of the End. 
 
 
 
 A silent observer watched to make sure that Brrkkzztrr Brinsonn had properly deceased. This was an important job, and he wanted to be absolutely certain that everything was done just right. 
 
 He did n't need to breathe, but he took a deep breath all the same, just for appearances, and then he lifted the rock. Satisfied with seeing the smear that once was Brinsonn, he put the rock down, pulled himself to his full, terrifying height and then he heard a loud crack. 
 
 **SHIT. SHITSHITSHIT. ** 
 Death froze and did n't dare move. 
 
 **'THIS CA N'T BE'**, he thought, knowing full well that it could, **'I DO N'T EVEN HAVE DISCS, HOW CAN THEY SLIP?'** 
 He tried moving, winced at the sudden and totally alien pain, and remained still again. 
 
 **I WAS TO RETIRE. AFTER THIS NEXT ONE, THE LAST ONE, MY DUTY IS OVER. 
 THIS IS... THIS IS....** 
 He searched his ancient memory for the right words to describe what he was feeling. 
 
 **THIS IS SO TYPICAL. AN ETERNITY OF SERVITUDE, AND THEN THIS. 
 BLOODY TYPICAL. ** 
 
 He waited some more, and remained still for a long time. 
 About 30 million earth years to be precise, but time is relative, and Death is absolute. He was used to waiting. 
 Then, something happened. An almost imperceptible shift in the cosmic winds, a stirring of a stray Quaalude, magic in the air. Death felt a tug, and knew he was being summoned. 
 
 His form twisted and spread, expanding over all creation, and then he was facing All. 
 And All stared at him, weak and old and tired and cold, and spoke. 
 
 *End-itt* 
 
 Death saw himself hold out a bony arm, saw his scythe materialize, saw All close its many eyes and smile serenely. And Death replied, 
 
 **BUGGER THAT. I'M NOT SPENDING ETERNITY WITH A SLIPPED DISC, WITH NO ONE TO COMPLAIN TO. I'M NOT DOING IT. ** 
 
 All recoiled in shock, and momentarily looked as angry and bright as in its youth. 
 
 *You-mustt* 
 *You-promissd* 
 
 **I DO N'T CARE. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF DEATH AND LIFE. I WILL REST, AND THEN WHEN I AM FEELING IN BETTER SHAPE, WE WILL TALK. ** 
 
 All shrieked and burn and contracted and swore, but Death had already left. 
 
 *You-will*, said All, *You-WILL* 
 
 It tugged and pulled everything it had and burned its form into one tiny, searing hot, focused point. 
 Again, it said *YOU-WILL... * 
 
 Then All began again, from the beginning.
