[ TT ] Little Timmy 's snowman gains sentience moments before the neighbourhood bully comes to destroy it .

`` No, please do n't hurt him. He's my friend.'' 
 
 `` Go away, kid. I'm going to knock his block off.'' 
 
 The snowman tilted its head. The two boys stopped in their tracks. 
 
 `` Little Timmy. Who is this person.'' 
 
 `` You can speak?!'' 
 
 `` Later, Timmy. Who is this person and why is he being so aggressive?'' 
 
 `` This is Jack. He picks on me. He said he was going to knock your block off.'' 
 
 `` Hello, Jack. My name is Snowy the Snowman. Come near me and I promise I will end your life. Wait. My name is Snowy the Snowman?'' 
 
 `` I thought it was nice.'' 
 
 `` Snow the Snowman, Timmy? Fantastic originality. Regardless, Jack, you are a dead man if you approach me.'' 
 
 Jack stepped forward, `` Oh yeah? What are you going to do?'' 
 
 `` First I will... Timmy, my arms are twigs from a tree. Why are my arms twigs.'' 
 
 `` They're all I could find.'' 
 
 `` I can not strike Jack down with these puny arms, Timmy. Craft me a bat out of the snow there. I shall use that to destroy this villain.'' 
 
 Timmy scrambled for some snow, shaping a bat like object from what he could gather and placed it in the snowman's twig hand. 
 
 `` Excellent. Now I will...'' The weight of the snow bat pulled the twig arm from the body of Snowy. It fell to the floor. `` My arm has detached from my body, Timmy.'' 
 
 `` I'm sorry!'' 
 
 `` Why did you construct me so poorly. I am an awful killing machine.'' 
 
 Jack stepped forward again. `` You're dead, Snowman.'' 
 
 `` Quick, Timmy. We need to flee. We can not win this battle.'' 
 
 Timmy ran off, trudging through the harsh snow. 
 
 `` TIMMY. I DO N'T HAVE ANY FUCKING LEGS. WHY WOULD YOU BUILD ME THIS WAY?'' 
 
 Timmy shouted back, `` I'm sorry, Snowy! Nobody builds snowmen with legs!'' 
 
 Jack crashed his spade in to the side of Snowy's head. His face exploding off his round body and breaking up over the floor. 
 
 `` OH, GREAT. MY NOSE WAS A FUCKING CARROT, TIMMY. YOU BOTHERED TO GO GET A FUCKING CARROT BUT YOU COULD N'T FASHION LEGS FOR ME?'' 
 
 Jack stood triumphantly over the massacred snowman. 
 
 `` I will be avenged. Maybe not this year but in time to come. You will grow to regret this decision.'' Snowy peered over in to the opposite garden over the road spotting another snowman. This snow man was a large penis with a face implanted on the head of the cock. `` Why, humans? Why.'' 
 
 The spade came crashing down once more. 
 
 **** 
 
 I write shitty, silly stories on /r/BillMurrayMovies. Feel free to come along, not laugh at any of them and leave some judgement. 
 

