[ WP ] As a dragon of innumerable age you have guarded your gold horde for millennium . Many heroes have come with long speeches on how they will slay you , the great evil , none finish . However this one is odd.He throws a coin on your stash , looks you in the eyes and says `` I have a proposition for you . ''

How amusing. You bare your teeth at the small man, allowing the orange glow from your ember charred throat to spill into the cave, eyes and gold glinting alike in the semi-dark. Acrid plumes of smoke waft from your nostrils, the smell of death filling the air. Meat is best when you can still taste the lingering dread in the flesh. One of life's simple pleasures is the look of terror in eyes of a `` hero'' moments before you devour him, and it's been so very long since anyone has disturbed your slumber. This will be a delight. 
 
 But the man looks... bored!? 
 
 `` Please, I do n't have time for theatrics,'' the little man says. `` Do you have any idea how difficult it was to find you? The holo-maps for this planet are abysmal. It's a minor miracle humans ever made it out of the primitive age here.'' 
 
 What under the glory of the five gods is he talking about? Holo-maps? Planets? Your patience is wearing thin. 
 
 `` So here's the deal. The way I see it, you've been hibernating down here for what, three, four-thousand years? A lot has changed out there. A lot.'' He paces back and forth, idly kicking over small piles of gold, waving his hands in explanation. Coins skitter across the cavern floor. `` You would n't last two seconds out there, kid. Not two seconds.'' 
 
 Kid? Did he just call you kid? You feel the rage bubbling up in your chest, frothing in the back of your throat. Raising yourself up to full height, you arch your neck and unleash your hellfire inferno on the pacing mortal who dared condescend your might. 
 
 To your surprise, the flames wreathe around in him a perfect sphere, charring the cave wall behind him, but leaving him unscathed. 
 
 `` Whewee, you're going to need to keep a lid on your temper if we're going to be partners, I am NOT doing couples therapy with a dragon again.'' 
 
 Couples therapy? Wait, again? 
 
 `` As I was saying, you've been couped up here for waaaay too long. Things have changed out there. Ten minutes outside and you'd be atom-locked and shipped off to a d-sector prison before you could say'charred cattle,' which, by the way, do n't exist here any more, just protein-rich fungi herds. You have to go off-world now if you want a decent quarter-pounder with cheese. And do n't even get me started on the pizza situation.'' 
 
 Pizza? He must be insane. There is some dark magic at work here. 
 
 `` That's where I come in. I have the technology, interpersonal skills, and schematics for every Snork intergallactic bank building from here to Sentauri.'' He taps the small metallic bracelet on his left wrist and the coin he tossed in with your treasure horde suddenly flies into the air, spinning to a blur. Another tap on his bracelet and multi-colored balls of light fill the cavern, slowly rotating around the spinning coin. 
 
 `` That's where you come in,'' he says, as if the room had not just exploded in dizzying color, as if nothing had changed at all. `` What I need is an acquisition specialist. Someone who can sense treasure behind quantum-locked vault doors. And more importantly, can sense booby traps. This is something I believe you have a particular talent for. Oh, do n't worry, I'll outfit you with all the necessary gear so you are n't instantly vaporized by some trigger happy Core police rookie. We can work out the details with regard to the profits later, but you can be sure there will be plenty to go around. For now, I'm just looking for a yes or no. What do you say?'' 
 
 You look around once more at your cavern, now undulating in the multi-colored glow from the spheres orbiting the coin. Had you really been asleep for four-thousand years? Maybe a change would be good... You slowly lower your head to the strange little wizard and say with a billow of smoke `` I'm in.'' 
 
 `` Excellent!'' He taps his silver bracelet again and swirling, circular mass materializes on the wall behind him, pulsing an eerie green. `` By the way, quantum tunneling does n't make you sick up, does it?''
