[ WP ] You are an omnipotent god . Out of boredom you decided to live an ordinary human life vowing not to use your power . 15 years has pass and you have a 9 to 5 working for a major tech company . Your boss has been tormenting you for years and you have reach your limit

Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick TIck Tick... 
 
 Ah, fuck this. Usually at the 15th tick, ballsfuckity mcgee ( Jason Fallus ) usually comes over and gives his `` annual report'' consisting of passive aggressive callouts to random people `` shaming'' them for things they should improve on. It's great when everyone knows who it's directed at, and even better when everyone agrees. 
 
 Thousands of years of trying to guide humanity, then sheperding them towards a better tomorrow. Dropping hints of a better future. Jesus, those miracles I created, all received badly. And none have made me lose my patience. Until this simpleton called me into the office for the 256th time. With enough boredom, one can keep track of the small intimate details in their lives. 256th time called in, 3498 times with punishments, and 387 types of punishments designed so this impudent human can inflict his cruelty on others. And this is the 89767th time he's going to yell at me. That is, if he's going to be alive after we're done. 
 
 Ballsfuckity: Since this is the 408th time ( 89767 if you bothered to give a fuck about people or anything in life ) I've called you in, I'll cut to the chase. You're a loser. I put so much trust in you for the 15 years you've been working for me and you have been consistently behind on your work. I'm thinking of cutting you, unless you have something for me like usual. 
 
 Yeah, 89767 is the last time this will happen. 
 
 Me: Have you ever heard of the story of the rock in the road? I think you'll find my response very relevant. 
 
 Me: There was a rock in the middle of a road, placed there by a king for reasons no one understood. This king wished to help his citizens and guide them by teaching them meaningful lessons. Everyone who came across that rock had inflicted injuries and complained about lazy people, yet did nothing to remove it. One night, a starving girl came across the rock. She was starving and unable to find money to feed her family. She had a small flask of alcohol, the only thing she could've sold at the market down the road. She slipped in the darkness, her heart shattering louder than the flask. Angry at the rock, she removed it and underneath found a bag of gold. She thought: `` Why would someone put a rock in here?'' 
 
 Ballsfuckity: Who cares? And why should I ca - 
 
 Me: Because the king wanted the citizens of the kingdom to take responsibility for themselves and stop blaming their problems on others. I am done taking responsiblity for problems that are n't mine, and am personally going to make sure the problems of this poorly run establishment are n't going to hurt me any longer. 
 
 Ballsfuckity: What are you talking about? I want your tribute. 
 
 God: **WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO BLAME OTHERS FOR THEIR TROUBLES. I APPEARED BEFORE YOU TO OBSERVE HUMANITY AT IT'S LOWEST TO SEE HOW IT WOULD OPERATE IN IT'S LOWEST FORM. BUT YOU ARE SOMETHING SPECIAL. NOT ONLY DO YOU ACTIVELY SHIFT YOUR PROBLEMS TO OTHERS, BUT NEVER ONCE IN THE 89767 TIMES I'VE HAD THIS MEETING HAVE YOU TAKEN RESPONSIBLITY FOR A SINGLE THING. YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED RETRIBUTION FOR THE SINS YOU'VE INFLICTED ON EVERY PERSON YOU MADE TO SUFFER! ** 
 
 Of course, he doubted my power, which is understandable. That did n't stop me from stripping him naked and force him to vlog about his naked trek throughout the city. That felt good, but not as good as burning down the building. 
 
 Me to crowd gathered outside: I am no perfect God, and those that worship me got me wrong. I will gladly show people the way, but those who lose patience with me and antagonize me without reason will suffer the worst punishment. Heed my call and do not antagonize your fellow man. And LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES. It's hard to fix big problems when you people keep on making them.
