[ WP ] You are a member of the Corpse Retrieval Unit , A.K.A . a member of the CRU .

We pulled up into the driveway of our first job of the day. I had only been working with the C.R.U. for 8 months, but my buddy who was in the van with me had been with the company for almost 6 years now. I was eager for promotion which is why I volunteered to come in at the weekend. I guess I thought at the time it would impress someone. 
 Here we are, Number 56 Horsefield Lane. 
 It was a quiet little cottage, on a quiet street, in a quiet village, had a'nice place to retire' sort of feel to it. 
 We walked up to the front door, clipboards in hand, fumbling in our pockets for our C.R.U. lanyards when the door opened prematurely. A woman in her sixties stood before us. 
 `` May I help'' she asked in a worried tone. 
 `` Hello, My name is Paul Gait, and this my collegue Sam. Is Mr... Howard Jones here?'' I asked flipping over a couple of sheets on my clipboard. 
 `` Yes, Howard is my husband, he's just inside'' 
 `` May we come in?'' I asked with a polite smile 
 Mrs Jones invited us in, apolgising for any mess that only judging eyes from uptight neighbours would pick out, the house was of course spotless. I followed, and my colleague closed the door behind us so as to not let it slam from the breeze. 
 `` Howard!... Howard!...'' The lady called, as if she had n't let go of her usual household routine. She pointed us through a doorway and told us she would be in the kitchen, understandably not wanting to be around when we removed the body. 
 We entered the lounge area and were greeted by an aging man with a gruff white beard. `` Hello, I'm Howard, what can I do for you young fellows'' the man said shaking our hands. 
 Confused by this, I looked at Sam who just gave me a subtle shrug and clicked his pen a bunch of times. 
 
 `` Uhh... sorry....umm....'' I struggled to get any words out until I cleared out my throat. `` `` Hello, My name is Paul Gait, and this my collegue Sam. We're here to... umm.... `` It seemed a thousand words raced through my head before my brain settled on the following two: `` Collect you''. Howard pulled his hand away in shock. I quickly rifled through the papers on my clipboard. `` Ahh, see, it says here... Mr Howard Jones, 56 Horsefield Lane, 64 years of age at time of death'' as if displaying this information to his face would comfort him. This was a first for me, I had to think quickly. Without a word, I reached into my pocket for my phone to call the office, but noticed Sam was already on top of it. `` No answer'' said Sam, `` well, it is the weekend'' he added, attempting to shift the burden of responsibility. 
 
 I sighed and turned my attention back to Mr Jones, attempting to be as polite as possible given the circumstances `` Look, Mr Jones, it clearly says here that you collapsed and passed away yesterday afternoon, and we at the C.R.U. pride ourselves at achieving next day collections''. Mr Jones' expression shifted from confused to angry to worried, not really settling on any. `` Margaret!... Margaret!...'' Howard called to his wife, who entered swiftly. `` These men say I'm dead!'' He said in a shocked voice. `` It's just what the paperwork says...'' I interrupted, Sam still dialing every internal department he could think of. 
 
 `` But I'm not dead, surely you can quite clearly see that!'' I turned towards Sam for some sage advice, after all, he had been with the company many years more than me. I was desperate for anything, had this kind of mix up happened before? Had he ever seen any policy regarding this situation? Hell, even a break room anecdote would have done. He rolled his eyes about as if he were scanning his brain like a library. With a sudden look, he donned a huge grin, and rushed out of the cottage to the van. I felt relieved, and knew that Sam, though he had apathy towards his job, would occasionaly pull a rabbit out of his hat. After an awkward minute of silence in the house, Sam returned. My face fell and my heart sank when I saw he had brought in the Staff Handbook. `` That's not a rabbit'' I said solemly, shaking my head. I knew at that point that we were on our own and it'd be me who'd have to make a decision. 
 
 I turned to Margaret and said with an expressionless tone. `` Mrs Jones, the C.R.U truly are sorry for your loss'' I nudged Sam to take Mr Jones by the hand and start leading him to the van. `` We thank you for using our services and hope that you will continue to use our services in the future'' I said while backing out of the house one step at a time. I could n't let this hiccup get in the way of my promotion, this sort of thing probably happens all the time... 

