[ WP ] After you are elected President , you discover a big red button hidden in your desk in the Oval Office . When you ask your predecessor about it , he said that it had been there for decades , but the secret of what it did died with Kennedy . After a few years , you finally give in and push the button .

On my desk, between my little desktop American flag and my malfunctioning clock, which only seemed to incorrectly measure seconds, there is a button with a flip top. Over my years as president, this button has tempted me, but fear of what it could possibly do prevented me from touching the forbidden control. 
 
 However, though, my patience was wearing thin that day. I had to deal with a NATO meeting in 2 hours, then the State of the Union address a few hours after that. As if that was n't enough, the Battle of Alaska was still raging with the Russians, and from the looks of it, neither side has an advantage. 
 
 `` Stupid NATO, stupid Russia, stupid WWIII, stupid address! Screw it, I need button therapy!'' I shouted as I flipped back the cover, my hand hovering over the button, waiting for when it felt correct. 
 
 My broken alarm clock ticked away- 29... 28..27... 
 
 I slammed the button, and the alarm clock reset and went back to 59 as bright orange lights descended from the ceiling, a siren wailing throughout the White House. Rapidly responding, a few secret servicemen dashed into my office, only to pause upon seeing the orange lights. Somehow, they were all donning armbands of grey, red, and orange. 
 
 `` Dammit, President! You were 8 seconds away from a red flair! You could have been Redguard, like me!'' shouted the red-armbanded one. 
 
 The grey one looked at him in disgust. `` Either way, he's a filthy presser! The Shade rejects him!'' 
 
 The third one, wearing an orange armband, handed me one as well. 
 
 `` Welcome to the Orange Revolution!'' 
 
 I could n't fucking believe it. It's *that* button from Reddit. Damn, I should have known that this would be it.
