[ EU ] The Three Stooges have been shot , stabbed , dropped from the roof of buildings , run over , and endured various other physical punishment that would kill most human people . The Three Stooges realize this and start their new career path as superheroes .

FADE IN: 
 
 INT. AN ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - NIGHT 
 
 *Several THUGS huddle around a crate, on top of which are several firearms and a set of blueprints. A tall, slender man in a pinstriped suit addresses the group. This is CHOKER, a criminal. * 
 
 **CHOKER: ** Alright, fellas... are we all clear on the plan? 
 **THUG # 1: ** Yeah, boss. 
 **CHOKER: ** Just to be sure, can you outline it for me? 
 **THUG # 1: ** Yeah, boss. 
 **CHOKER: **... So, what is it, then? 
 **THUG # 1: ** It's good. 
 
 *Choker stares at the first thug for a moment. * 
 
 **CHOKER: ** What? 
 **THUG # 1: ** You asked what the plan was, and I told you. It's good, boss. 
 **CHOKER: ** No, you idiot, I was asking you... 
 
 *Before Choker can finish speaking, the warehouse's main door slams open. Three men stumble inside, each of them wearing a pair of briefs over top of their blue coveralls. These are The Three Stooges: LARRY, MOE, and CURLY. * 
 
 **MOE: ** Nice going, numbskull! 
 **LARRY: ** Me? What did I do? 
 **MOE: ** You made the bad guys notice us! 
 
 *Moe tries to slap Larry, who ducks. The blow connects with Curly's face. * 
 
 **CURLY: ** Hey! Why, I oughta... 
 
 *Curly aims a slap of his own at Moe, but Larry comes up from ducking at just the right moment to get hit in the back of the head. Larry winces from the impact, learning forward... which causes his forehead to connect with Moe's face. * 
 
 **MOE: ** Alright, that does it! 
 **CHOKER: ** Excuse me! 
 
 *Larry, Moe, and Curly all stop bickering and slowly turn to face the villains. * 
 
 **CHOKER: ** ( *CONT'D* ) Can we do something to help you gentlemen? 
 
 *Moe chuckles and elbows Larry in the ribs. * 
 
 **MOE: ** Did you hear that? He wants to know if he can help us. 
 **CURLY: ** Yeah, maybe he has n't heard. 
 **CHOKER: ** Heard what, exactly? 
 **MOE: ** That we're here to help *you*. 
 
 *A brief moment passes in silence. * 
 
 **LARRY: ** What's that supposed to mean? 
 **MOE: ** Would you... what are you doing, huh? 
 **LARRY: ** What? 
 **MOE: ** It was a threat. He knew it was a threat. What makes you so slow on the uptake? 
 
 *Moe smacks Larry on the top of the head. * 
 
 **LARRY: ** Ouch! Well, it did n't sound like a threat. 
 **MOE: ** ( *Shouting* ) It was a threat! 
 **CHOKER: ** Well, in that case... 
 
 *Choker takes one of the guns from the crate, racks its slide, then opens fire at the Stooges. They immediately start jumping and running in tight circles. * 
 
 **CURLY: ** He's shooting at us! 
 **MOE: ** I know he is! 
 **LARRY: ** What do we do?! 
 
 *As if in answer, Moe kicks Larry toward the villains. He goes tumbling forward, accidentally tackling two of the thugs. * 
 
 **CHOKER: ** This is ridiculous. Goodbye. 
 
 *Choker aims his weapon directly at Larry's back, then pulls the trigger. * 
 
 **LARRY: ** ( *Screaming* ) Auuugh! I've been shot! 
 
 *Larry jumps to his feet and starts running in circles, all the while trying to touch the wound on his back. Blood spurts everywhere, getting in Choker's eyes. * 
 
 **CHOKER: ** Ugh! What the hell is wrong with you?! 
 **CURLY: ** He shot Larry! Come on! 
 
 *Curly sprints forward, but trips when Moe sticks his foot in the way. In comical defiance of physics, Curly goes flying through the air at eye-level, soon connecting with Choker. Both men fall to the floor. * 
 
 **THUG # 1: ** Come on, let's get out of here! 
 
 *The felled thugs scurry to their feet and hastily depart. Moe saunters forward, looking smug, as Larry keeps fixating on his wound. * 
 
 **LARRY: ** He got me! He got me in the back! 
 **MOE: ** You big baby, would you quit whining? Here. 
 
 *Moe retrieves an unspent bullet from the table and uses it to plug Larry's wound. The geyser of blood immediately ceases. * 
 
 **CHOKER: ** ( *O.S. * ) Get... this... buffoon... off... me. 
 **MOE: ** What was that, chief? I did n't hear you. 
 **CURLY: ** He smells like bad cheese. 
 **MOE: ** That's your breath, stupid. 
 
 *Moe kicks Curly in the backside. The jolt causes Curly's entire body to jerk forward, knocking Choker unconscious. Police sirens become audible in the distance. * 
 
 **LARRY: ** Hey, there are cops coming. 
 **MOE: ** I know there are cops coming! You think I do n't hear the sirens? 
 
 *Moe slaps Larry across the face. This somehow dislodges the bullet in Larry's back, and the geyser of blood starts spurting again. It coats Curly as he rises to his feet, getting all over his face. * 
 
 **CURLY: ** Bleh! What is this? Are you bleeding on me? 
 **MOE: ** You can wash up later! Stick another bullet in his back and let's get out of here. 
 
 *Curly takes another bullet from the table, but it slips through his fingers and falls to the floor. This happens several times, until Moe finally grabs a bullet, slaps Curly, and stymies Larry's bleeding. * 
 
 **MOE: ** ( *CONT'D* ) There, was that so hard? Now, come on! 
 
 *All three Stooges run from the warehouse. As they vanish into the night, they can be heard shouting. * 
 
 **LARRY, MOE, and CURLY: ** *Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk! * 
 
 FADE OUT.
