[ WP ] Donald Trump wins the 2016 Presidential election .

My fellow Americans- I did it! The Donald is now The President. 
 
 I just received a concession call from my opponent. I did n't bother answering. Huge waste of time, if you ask me. I did n't get this rich or get elected president by wasting time. And we have work to do! We need to get started on making this country GREAT again! We beat the hell out of the Democrats tonight. Just like how I, as your President, will beat the hell out of our enemies, and all the other countries, and America will be on top once more! By electing me, you have played the TRUMP card over every other nation. 
 
 First things first- we do n't get enough done in the government. I have a way of fixing that, one plan I feel like has never been considered before. We're cutting the size of government by exactly 535 employees. Congress? You're fired. I prefer to run things like I always have- my own way. 
 
 America is n't thought well of abroad. It would be fair to say that many countries crap on us. Well, that's just an advertising problem. And if there's one thing I know, it's how to advertise. Starting my first day in office, we're going to have a grand ad campaign. We'll start with expanding the White House by a couple dozen floors. And emblazoned across the top, a big sign in lights: AMERICA, brought to you by TRUMP. 
 
 I do n't think I need to elaborate much more- you all know what to expect from me. What I need to know now is what I can expect from you. Come January, we're going to have the biggest party the world has ever seen! But you better get into work on time the next day or guess what? 
 
 You're fired.
