[ WP ] Write the superhero origin story of your username

`` Yeah I knew Old Man Jimmers. He was a old grump, man, and obsessed with his stupid yard. All the neighbour kids knew to stay away and if you let a ball roll over there on his grass, forget it. Kiss your balls begone, heh.'' 
 
 Well, he used to sit out there on his patio readin the same damn book every day. Could never tell which one, too far away. I'm sure it was the same one though, same stupid cover. We did n't pay him much attention anyway. He's either inside the house, or mowin grass, pullin weeds, sprayin the hose, or he's up there readin the stupid book. Probably ai n't got any pages. Or he's yellin at the kids on the street, ca n't forget that.'' 
 
 Anyway, one day it's 5am and he's out mowin his precious lawn. Saturday too. Woke the kids up, so now their beggin for Cimmin Toast Crunch. Now I'm up and I'm lookin out and seein the storm clouds rollin in. Shit, it got dark real fast. Old Man Dumbass keeps mowin away though. Ca n't have it half cut I guess.'' 
 
 So, next thing you know the thunders crashin, like 2 minutes after the clouds come. Jimmers do n't care. Then I'm makin myself a bowl of cereal and I hear a big one right outside. I'm lookin around, no Old Man Jimmers. And I'm not lyin, all I see is a lawnmower, a buncha smoke, and a black circle around the whole thing. Lawnmower looks fine, but the grass is black and that old grump is gone.'' 
 
 It's no word of lie, officer. And so I get my boots on and by that time the clouds are passin by, so I go on out to investigate. As I'm comin round the back all I hear is this low rumblin sound off down the road... And you wo n't believe this part. The mower's gone. No old man, no lawnmower, just charred up grass.'' 
 
 So, if you ask me, those criminals, the ones that got all mangled... yup, they got mowed down. Old Man Jimmers ai n't gone, no way. He's just changed is all.''
