[ WP ] A newly-hired bartender is slowly realizing that he 's working at the bar from all of those `` X walks into a bar '' jokes .

Andy had heard about the ancient bar in carefully rhymed songs and stories from his grandmother. As a child, he fantasized what it looked like inside: windowless and mysterious, with the only light source coming from neon signs and dimly lit $ 5 plastic candles that were carelessly placed on every table. He was sure the air smelled of nothing less than perfume, alcohol, and magic. In his mind, the sound of smooth jazz turned conversations into whispers and mornings did n't exist. And the only way in was by crouching through a hidden, wooden door that squealed with joy whenever someone realized it was more than just a door that lead to the restroom. 
 However, Andy never realized that his fantasies were n't exactly realities. The bar was lit by broken, antique lamps that spiders helped decorate with cobwebs that danced whenever someone exhaled. Andy could n't quite figure out how the bar smelled but he knew perfume and magic was definitely not it. It was more of a mixture of unicorn puke, alcohol, and sadness. There was no smooth jazz either. Instead, obnoxious laughter strangled whatever silence that dared come out from wherever it was hiding. Whatever, Andy thought. Maybe it'll get better, maybe- 
 “ Hello, ” a voice purred. Andy turned around to a black cat slowly blinking his eyes that looked as cruel and green as a witch. 
 “ What ’ ll ya have? ” 
 “ Just a water will do. ” 
 As Andy was pouring the water, a rush of panic came over him. He knew mystical creatures of all kinds went to this bar but never knew why. In a desperate attempt to buy himself time to remember the songs his grandmother used to sing, Andy picked the ice cubes out one by one. Dear God what are the lyrics?! How do they- 
 
 “ I ’ m waiting, ” the black cat said as he clicked his claws on the bar. 
 
 Lyrics raced in Andy ’ s mind quicker than lightening itself: 
 
 O, that place 
 That sweet, ancient bar 
 No one could ever show their face 
 without becoming a..er.. star? 
 
 “ If you don ’ t give me the glass right now! ” The black cat hissed. 
 
 It was too late. Andy knew, the black cat knew. Nothing could be done. 
 With his head hanging, Andy slid the glass of water across the bar. The black cat ’ s lips curled into a smile and locked eyes with Andy. He then raised his white paw that looked like a mitten. 
 “ Wait! It doesn ’ t have to be like this, ” Andy yelped. 
 A crash silenced the room for all of but a second. 
 “ You fool! ” The black cat giggled. 
 “ Don ’ t be so cocky black cat, I ’ ve heard the joke before on reddit. ” 
 “ Fishcakes! ”
