[ WP ] When you die , you do n't go to the afterlife of you 're religion , you go to the afterlife of the religion whose tenets you followed most closely , knowingly or not .

A bowling alley was not what Jack expected. 
 
 Only a moment ago he'd been sitting in the middle of the road, fighting for air and in incredible pain. The next thing he knew he was standing at the shoe rental counter, staring into the face of a lumpy-faced old guy. 
 
 `` Where am I?'' 
 
 Lumpy-face grunted eloquently before speaking, `` You're dead, kid. This is your afterlife.'' 
 
 Jack took another look around, spotting too many fashions from the seventies and not enough young women, `` Here?'' 
 
 `` Yup.'' 
 
 `` What is this?'' 
 
 `` The Final Lane; the hereafter for all who followed the tenants of Dudeism, Man.'' An older guy came up behind Jack and put an arm around his shoulder. 
 
 `` Jeff Bridges?'' Jack stared at the man beside him, `` The hell?'' 
 
 `` Relax, man.'' Jeff guided Jack from the counter and over to a table with a pitcher of beer on it, `` Just chill out.'' 
 
 `` But...'' Jack stammered, `` I'm dead!'' 
 
 `` Yup.'' Bridges nodded, `` Happens to all of us.'' 
 
 `` Are n't I supposed to go to heaven... or hell, or something?'' 
 
 `` Sit down.'' Jeff flopped down in his own chair and Jack followed suit, settling himself into the hard and ancient plastic, `` Jack, it's like this. This afterlife shit, it's not like they tell you back on earth. You do n't go where people tell you you'll go, you go where you'll fit in, right? Whatever cosmic shit that weighs us and shit said, like,'Hey, this dude's Ok. He can go hang with the Lebowski.'' 
 
 `` Lebowski?'' 
 
 `` Oh, yeah man.'' Jeff waved lazily at the world around him, `` This is all, like, some movie shit. Buncha dudes turned it into a religion. Basically, they made a belief system based around just chilling out. Yeah? You're were probably pretty laid back in life, let everybody just do their own thing without getting all pissy about it, am I right?'' 
 
 Jack thought about his life and found he could n't really argue with scruffy Jeff Bridges. 
 
 `` So this is it?'' 
 
 `` Nah, man.'' Bridges took a drink, `` There's a bar as well, and a parking lot.'' 
 
 `` This sucks.'' 
 
 `` That's just, like, your opinion, man.''
