[ WP ] Several hundred years after a nuclear holocaust that wipes out most of humanity , the remaining humans now pass down sitcom plots as oral parables from the Time Before .

I could tell my parents were itching to go hear another round of the bald guy telling stories about, go figure, a bald guy who was a chemistry geek and made blue drugs or something. They kept reminding my two little brothers that the pirate looking dude was about to begin his next story. But Tim and Eric were n't interested tonight, as they had found a cockroach to play with. 
 
 My mom looked at me with the `` please get them to go'' kind of look. They expected me to take them so they could enjoy their favorite storyline from the Time Before without worrying. It was Dad's birthday I guess. So why not give the boys no choice? I walked right in between where they were kneeling and `` unknowingly'' crunched down on their newly dead pet. They were what the Governor called an infestation, so do n't judge. I was just doing my part. 
 
 After that, since they had nothing else to do, it was easy to convince them to follow me to the town green where all the other kids would be gathered. Out came the one legged pirate man onto the stage to the tune of screaming children. Tim and Eric sat down with their arms crossed. 
 
 `` ARE YA READY KIDS?'' 
 
 `` AY AY CAPTAIN!!'' yelled everyone except Tim and Eric. 
 
 `` I CAN'' T HEAR YOU!'' 
 
 Again the kids cheered. 
 
 While the pirate moaned a gritty `` OOOOOOH'', Tim turned to me and legitimately asked me, `` Who does live in a pineapple under the sea, and what the heck is a sponge?''
