[ WP ] Write the third episode of non-existant series . Make us curious about what happened before episode 3 , and what happens after .

**FADE IN** 
 
 > **Ireland, 2016** 
 
 > **We see two males ( 19-ish ) sitting on a wall in a rundown housing estate. The larger one ( Timmy ), sitting on the left, is wearing a brown leather jacket with long green cargo pants and with his brown hair slicked back in a 1920's style. On the right, our smaller friend ( Bobby ) is sitting wearing a white T-shirt and black shorts. His long blonde hair drapes over the lettering of the shirt but is still legible. It reads in large red letters `` Kill a commie for mommy''. ** 
 
 **On Screen Text**: *Timmy & Bobby Episode 3: The disappearance of Father Crofey* 
 
 **Timmy: ** It's fucking bullshit. 
 
 **Bobby: ** What? 
 
 **Timmy: ** This whole election thing man. It's fucking bullshit. 
 
 **Bobby: ** You do n't even like the yanks, the fuck do you care? 
 
 **Timmy: ** *sighs* That's my point. I do n't care. I do n't give a toss. A monkeys tale - a biddy. I do n't care. I do n't care about pneumonia, I do n't care about walls, or emails or anything a' that shit man. I do n't care. 
 
 **Bobby: ** Then what's the problem? 
 
 **Timmy: ** I dunno man. It's just bullshit is all. I do n't wan na have to hear them talking, they are n't my candidates, they ai n't going to change my life. I do n't care, but everyone is tryn'na make me care, you know what im saying? 
 
 **Bobby: ** I get'cha. I do. But you got ta understand that it ai n't just your sensibilities at stake here, people genuinely have to vote for those clowns. You even got a preference, or are you just going to be a mopey wanker? 
 
 **Timmy: ** ( Outraged ) Wha'ddaya mean? A mopey wanker! That's fucking rich. You're kitted out in Uncle sam's finest ( Gesturing at the t-shirt ), Go'on away with yourself. A mopey wanker. Whatever man. ( Motioning the wanker sign ) 
 
 **Bobby: ** You've made my point. I'll have ya know im wearing this shirt *ironically*. 
 
 **Timmy: ** Yeah, yeah. Whatever. 
 
 > **They sit in silence for a while till an 8-bit rendition of `` Cat's in the Cradle'' blares. Timmy pauses, reaches into his pocket and pull's out a flip-phone. ** 
 
 **Timmy: ** ( To the phone ) Yeah. Yeah. Mhmh. Right. Right. How long has he been missing? Right. It's 200 upfront. What?! No we will not ( Mockingly ) `` Do it for the parish''. It's 200 hundred euro upfront. Mhm. Cash only. Right. Grand. Grand. Yeah. Cya then. 
 
 **Bobby: ** What's the story? 
 
 **Timmy: ** ( Jumping off the wall ) Another missing person. Father Desmond Crofey. 63, He was last heard from yesterday evening. 
 
 **Bobby: ** Huh. Right. And why have n't THESE people decided to call our mighty An Garda siochana? 
 
 **Timmy: ** Another case of `` Extreme discretion''. Did n't say no more. 
 
 **Bobby: ** My Granda will be delighted. ( Hopping off the wall ) 
 
 **Timmy: ** Why? 
 
 **Bobby: ** I have n't been to mass since I was twelve. 
 
 **CUT TO: A small church. Perfectly manicured. ** 
 
 > **The boy's are walking through the graveyard of the church on a small rock path. Suddenly Timmy's phone rings again** 
 
 
 **CUT TO: A call center of sorts. A girl with blonde hair and thick orange glasses is sucking on a lollipop while holding the phone. Behind her, the various sounds of moaning and dirty talk fill the air. Diana Priestly is 21 years old, from New York. ** 
 
 **Diana: ** Hey Timmy, put me on to Bobby. ( Pause ) ( Smiling ) Hey baby! How'are ya. Yeah. I still owe you guy's from that other thing last week. Yeah. I know, I know. But I feel I owe you, and that's how its gon na be. Do you guy's need anything? like... Oh you are going to church?... I did n't think... yeah but... *sigh* Look, Please call if you need anything, I'm dying of boredom over here. Okay, Bye. ( Puts down phone ). 
 
 
 **CUT TO: A small church. Perfectly manicured. ** 
 
 > **The boy's are walking through the graveyard of the church on a small rock path. ** 
 
 **Timmy: ** She want's you to shag her. 
 
 **Bobby: ** Fuck off. 
 
 **Timmy: ** ( Putting on a poor Bronx accent ) `` Oh Bobby, Oh Baby please'' 
 
 **Bobby: ** I said fuck off. 
 
 **Timmy: ** `` Oh Honey, thank's for beating up my dad, Oh jesus, Thinkin' a him just makes this better.'' 
 
 **Bobby: ** I know you're happy out imagining me naked, but seriously, knock it off. We have a job to do. 
 
 **CUT TO: The inside of the church. ** 
 
 > **It is old. All the pews are empty, but all of the candles are lighting. At the alter a nun kneels praying. The boy's are walking toward her. ** 
 
 **Bobby: ** Uh... Excuse me? 
 
 **Timmy: ** *OI* 
 
 > **The nun turns, furious. ** 
 
 **Sister Margaret: ** I'll have you know that this is a place of the lord gentlemen. We do n't accept rudeness here, especially from *contractors. * 
 
 > **The nun is ancient. She is draped in navy garb and speaks extremely quickly. ** 
 
 **Timmy: ** ( Shocked ) I....Do I know you? 
 
 **SM: ** I should hope not. 
 
 **Bobby: ** Yeah me too. ( Incredulous ) 
 
 **Timmy: ** I..Yeah....Never..mind. Where's the father's quarters? 
 
 **SM: ** To your left and the first door. Do not disturb anything. Now if you do n't mind, I was on my third decade of the rosary. 
 
 > The boy's walk away and into the priest's quarters. Closing the door behind him, Frantically draws Bobby close to him. 
 
 **Timmy: ** Bobby..Bobby... That's Mad Mary. 
 
 **Bobby: ** Who? 
 
 **Timmy: ** The ( hushed ) *pornstar*... From my dad's tapes. 
 
 **Bobby: ** From *Thy Holy Gape 2*!? 
 
 **Timmy: ** The very same. Which mean's that... 
 
 **Bobby: ** Father Crowfey could be... 
 
 **Both together: ** *The great defiler! * 
 
 ****** 
 Will continue this if anyone cares. I must go for now though! 
 
 
 

