[ WP ] A plane carrying all 17 Republican Presidential nominees crashes over the ocean . All survive uninjured , but are marooned on an island . Chris Christie has found the conch .

Two days later, rescuers arrive finding only a lone, hungry New Jersey Governor in a wasteland of the burnt and blackened Island forest. 
 
 He was taken aboard the USS Findafatfuck and fed and questioned. It is quickly revealed that the 17 had begun to argue about whether the doomed flight should have been aborted when it was discovered to be dangerous to those on board. 
 
 A pitched battle ensued between the two apposing ideologies. Half of the group insisting it is never moral to abort a flight regardless of the situation or how many lives it could save. The other half, while agreeing, insisted on a stipulation that the flight can only be aborted if your daughter is on the flight and the pilot is black or Mexican. 
 
 After hours of arguing, in a ravenous hungry rage, Governor Christy seized his chance and bludgeoned his fellow inhabitants to death with the conch. 
 
 Using Donald Trumps hairpiece for kindeling, he attempted to start a fire and cook his colleagues for much needed sustenance. Unprepared for the pure mass of fake hair and flammable hair products, the blaze quickly grew out of control and engulfed the island. 
 
 Governor Christy quickly consumed the others to avoid dying of starvation and then rested for a day and a half until rescuers arrived. 
 
 Christy returned to America a hero and swept into office as the new commander and chief. Marijuana was promptly outlawed to stop children from injecting it. The star spangled banner was replaced with a MacDonalds flag and vegetable farmers were all round up and shot. 
 
 China, aware that it's tenants were destroying the property, evicted everyone. As the hoards tried to escape the country it was discovered the President had closed all of the bridges because someone called him fat 3 years ago. 
 
 Chaos ensued...... then the documentary [ The Road ] ( https: //www.youtube.com/watch? v=bO8EqMsxOiU ) by Cormac McCarthy was filmed to document the aftermath. 
 

