[ WP ] When cats die they are born again as a kitten 9 times and keep all of their memories . Whiskers is on his 9th and last life .

Notes for this life: 
 
 * Wood chippers are a fantastic `` look but do n't touch'' item 
 * Dogs are stupid, it is known. They nonetheless possess *very powerful jaws*. 
 * Car tires! Let's talk about those. You do n't know what they are yet, but they live on cars, and they spin around. The spinning around is great, right, because *who does n't love something that spins around*; however, the spinning is also quite *painful. * 
 * Roof gaps are inviting and quite nice as perches. They are not to be jumped before 9 months of age, though. They are *particularly* off limits during the winter. Also, remember that birds who stick around in the winter time are more agile than you might think. 
 * Water? Just drink it. If it comes near you in a container any larger than a dish, throw a shitfit. A back arching, hair raising, hissing, spitting, scratching, biting shitfit. 
 * I can not stress enough -- wood chippers. *Don't*. 
 * On the topic of wood, trees are OK. Power lines not so much. I particularly do not recommend straddling two power lines. I particularly do not recommend straddling two power lines in the rain while pursuing a squirrel. 
 * Squirrels: nature's wood chipper. And we know *all about* wood chippers. 
 
 Final note: this is your ninth life, Whiskers. Do n't fuck it all up like you did the last eight. 
 
 Signed, 
 
 You
