[ WP ] The day the human population crossed 5 billion it was flagged for evaluation by The Consortium for Galactic Peace as a potential parasite . Their silent and thorough followup study is now over and the verdict is ...

Kruel twittered his mandibles. He couldn ’ t stop. He had been studying millennia of human development and culture thanks to the photoretroamplifier. The humans, or homo sapiens sapiens as they called themselves, for his whole academic career. He had to make a case to the high council Consortium for galactic peace now. They had entered a new era of growth and technological advancement and reached the five billion mark. They had already launched satellites into orbit over their planet, sent a ship to their small moon and had the start of what could grow to be a global governing entity called the UN. 
 
 Kruel had been thrilled to study this planet. It spawned many truly ferocious empires, but what fascinated Kruel was that they were not simply barbaric nations winning by numbers. The Greeks defined culture of the western part of their continent and founded one of the first democracies on the planet, even if it was somewhat exclusive in it ’ s citizenship. The Roman republic welcomed it ’ s conquered foes into being equals, at first. Kruel was bed ridden with grief as he learned about it ’ s fall into a tyrannical empire. The ottomans likewise grew to great size and prominence while making great strides in medicine and mathematics. China was another beautiful civilization to him. It had survived long centuries while existing as a vast dominion. 
 
 His studies were enthralling. Of all his peers, he felt he was the most blessed by the forebears with the privilege and challenge of collecting and gathering history. 
 
 Even their biology was fascinating. Their planet was mostly oceans and yet they were bipedal land creatures. They were the only class one sentient species on their planet and yet they had no other feature that seemed to aid them in their rise to power. They didn ’ t have the fore arm scythes his people had, or the sheer size of the Gret ’ haim or any other trait that seemed would provide any help, other than their ability to communicate and use tools 
 
 And they had made it on the merit of that alone. They didn ’ t even have fur to protect them from the cold of the regions that were surprisingly some of the most well populated areas on the planet. Clothing was not just a matter of fashion or tradition it was a necessity, also an oddly universal matter of modesty. 
 
 But after two world wars, multiple genocide events and a current era of strife between the planet ’ s two superpowers, Many in the high council thought that they might pose a galactic level threat. 
 
 This upset Kruel to no end. He had been delighted that it seemed the planet was slowing down and scaling back to wars, ironically in part due to the mutual fear of the use of atomic weapons. He thought that this species, young and “ warlike ” as it was, definitely merited further study to say the least. In a century or two perhaps even inclusion! 
 
 But the Gret ’ haim ’ s member of the council thought otherwise. Being perhaps the most belligerent species to be granted membership, Kruel thought the idea of them opposing on that basis alone was hypocritical at the very least. But they took it a step further. They advocated the complete desolation of the species! 
 
 Now he had only this one brief statement he could make to the council about the matter 
 He gathered his data, drew himself up to full height and entered the amphitheater. 
 
 The announcing drone spoke in galactic common 
 
 “ The council will now observe high scholar Kruel of the Maistons on the issue of the status of the Humans of planet 44356 titled Earth ” 
 
 The room was massive and intimidating. Kruel stood at the center of a stadium of the brightest minds the galaxy had to offer. Liaisons of every member planet were represented in the audience. 
 
 The council itself had only three members who would weigh in on this hearing. 
 
 Thul, an cephalopod telepath of the planet Kraoen, suspended in a vat of water 
 
 Grik a member of Kruel ’ s species, he looked neither impressed or particularly concerned about 
 
 And most pressingly Whol, one of the Gret ’ haim, standing massively beside the podium, already tall enough on his own to be of the correct height. 
 
 “ Greeting ’ s valued members of the council, I am here to make the case that the Human ’ s of Earth are not in fact parasites nor unworthy of future considering for membership, ” the last part drew gasps from the collective, well the part capable of gasping. Thul ’ s tank bubbled a little more for a moment. 
 
 “ First, Earth has yes been greatly depleted of what we would term fossil fuels. The effects of the humans actions on their own environment are well established and document, ” he pressed on his datapad and showed figures of the earth ’ s current projected usage of resources over the past century and estimates of present sources went up to massive veiwscreens. 
 
 “ But the humans are aware of this, in fact much work is being done to correct it. They are researching alternatives like nuclear power and Critical superpowers like their “ United states ” are passing legislation in an attempt to limit pollution. They are looking to sustain themselves. ” 
 
 Thul ’ s eerie telepathic voice echoed across the amphitheater “ And what of their proclivity towards Imperialism? Doesn ’ t that in conjunction with their resource usage lend itself to future parasitism? ” 
 
 Kruel gulped. 
 
 “ Ah-em well…ah yes. But the issue against that point is that as an increasing portion of the nations become democratic, the instances of such actions have decreased drastically. Wars of conquest are becoming rarer events. Most nations do not seek to expand their boundaries, merely to secure their interests internationally. ” 
 
 Whol bellowed across the amphitheater. 
 
 “ This after two cataclysmic wars in the past century alone? And the worst Genocidal event on record? ” 
 
 “ I maintain my stance, they are growing out of that, slowly but surely. Secondly by percentage it was no worse than your own planet ’ s latest civil war, ” Kroel regretted saying the last part. 
 
 Whol 
 
 “ Such outburst are unbecoming of a high scholar. Do you have any non-inflammatory closing remarks? ” Grik chided. 
 
 “ Many apologies, Yes one final point in their favor is the development of a computer facilitated communications network similar to our own. ” 
 
 “ Ah yes then the our choice of actions is clear, ” Grik spoke solemnly 
 
 “ There is no other course available to us, ” the telepath empathized. 
 
 Whol bared his ugly maw 
 “ Once their network reaches the masses, the 4chan test will begin. Should they dissolve into chaos, we will eliminate them ” 
 
 Kroel bowed and exited. Happy that he had at least forestalled the demise of his precious studies. If only for a while. 
 

