[ WP ] [ WP ] A young couple and older man are stranded on a deserted island . The older man agreed to kill himself so as to provide nourishment for the couple and give them a chance of surviving long enough for rescue . The older man is now having second thoughts ...

Ron cleared his throat. `` Hmm Hmm... uh... I do n't know if I happened to mention this before, but I have AIDS.'' 
 
 Ashley and Brad looked at him and then back at each other. 
 
 `` Wait,'' Ashley said. `` Can you get AIDS from consuming the flesh of an AIDS victim?'' 
 
 `` I do n't think so, honey. It's purely sexual. Besides, think about it. Magic Johnson is still alive. He got AIDS like thirty years ago. We have more pressing concerns. AIDS is a slow burn.'' 
 
 `` Magic Johnson actually had HIV, not AIDS.'' said Ron. `` AIDS is much more serious.'' 
 
 `` They're like the same thing, right? It's besides the point, anyways,'' Ashley said. 
 
 Ron looked into the fire. Over the last two hours, the young couple had amassed an impressive mountain of firewood, and after wasting half the matches they had left, they finally managed to start a small fire. That small fire had grown into a monstrous one. The couple were currently building the spit from which they would roast him, spearing him from asshole to mouth as he rotated over the flames like a rotisserie chicken. 
 
 They knew little about survival and the wilderness. Ron was now convinced they would die on this island with or without nutrition. 
 
 `` What if I told you,'' he said. `` That I, uh, changed my mind.'' 
 
 They stopped, looked at him again. `` Listen, Ron, we did n't raise the idea. You came to us and volunteered yourself.'' 
 
 `` Yeah,'' Ashley said. `` We've already sold ourselves on this idea. We're all psyched up.'' 
 
 `` We could easily overpower you in any case,'' Brad said, lashing two sticks together with tall grass. `` Any attempt at resistance would be futile.'' 
 
 `` I think we need to talk flavoring, dear,'' Ashley said. `` We ca n't eat this guy the way he is. Look how old he is. That meat's probably like stale beef jerky. He's probably got a real gamy taste to him.'' 
 
 `` Well, what are we gon na do, it's not like we're gon na find any A-1 on this shit heap.'' 
 
 `` We need a nice honey-glaze baste.'' 
 
 `` Once again, we are on a deserted island. How do you propose we get that exactly?'' 
 
 `` Well, why do n't you try to be helpful instead of just criticizing?'' 
 
 Just like that, a simple conversation devolved into the sixth major fight of the day. Ron sighed and waited. The fire died down into a pile of smoldering ashes. They were too busy fighting to feed it. The sun started to go down. Ron stood up, gathered some embers in the shell of a coconut and walked to the other side of the island. Ashley and Brad never noticed him leave. 
 
 By the time dark had settled in, the old man sat before his own little fire, a handful of mussels cooking before him. Not bad for an little improvised camp. 
 
 `` Two weeks ago *you* texted Angela. Why'd you do that?! Why ca n't you give me a straight answer on anything?!'' 
 
 `` Angela is my assistant. I need to find out important information from her! For work! But you would n't know because you *don't* work!'' 
 
 `` Oh yeah, what important information? What exactly would require her to send you a picture?!'' 
 
 In the distance he heard them scream and remembered why he had volunteered himself.
