[ WP ] To keep up with challenges by mortals , Death must master every new game that comes up . But there 's one game that he just ca n't figure out for the death of him .

It's been a thousand years since John challenged me with that stupid game. There have been other cases that eluded me before, for instance Brian, the Flappy bird man, lived a normal life for thirty years straight after being electrocuted. But that was the longest case before John. The only that made it to round 3. He was a good man, but nothing like John. 
 
 It still amazes me. It amazes me how he understands the game that no one else does and never did, including me. We all failed miserably at what John does with such elegant ease. He beat me every ten years for the past millennium. Those are the rules, I get a chance every ten years, another round at the game of the man's choosing. Every time against John I tried my best and did n't get far. I just do n't understand that game. 
 
 Here I am trying for the 100th time to best him, but who am I kidding, at this point I'm looking at an immortal man, because I'll never beat him. I know that. 
 
 `` Hello old friend'' he says as soon as he sees me `` I've thought about you a lot these past few years.'' I'm quiet, I never talk to them, I stay silent, stare into their souls. He is old, yet still as pure as the day I first saw him. But he feels different this time, tired. `` I do n't want to do this any more, Death. I'm ready this time. I wo n't challenge you. Take me.'' he says with a smile on his face. Now I know, he's grown tired of life, all his loved ones gone, everything to be seen, he saw a hundred times. The first one in history to actually choose to come with me. I like John. So for the first time, I speak to a mortal: `` Welcome, John. The QWOP champion.'' How I hate the game.
