[ WP ] Write the letter that you always wanted to , but never did .

To my 18 year old self, 
 
 You've got nothing to regret. I know you do n't believe me, and it is me, but if you do n't make mistakes how to do you know what is correct? You wo n't know what I am talking about until you get there and then to here. You are going to be terrified of the world you find yourself in and you are n't going to want to live sometimes. You are going to hate everything and hate yourself for it. And you are going to cry. 
 
 I do n't mean to scare you. I do n't want hurt you. But you are going to be hurt, by yourself, by others, but mostly by yourself. And he's not pleasant. He is vindictive and some of the things he is going to do will shock, surprise and sicken you. 
 
 You will learn that he does n't want you to be him and that there seems like nothing he could do to stop himself. Just keep going. He is you and he is me. He is more scared of himself than anything else. Even the fear of failure and depression that is going to plague him. He does n't know what he is doing to himself, and eventually to you. 
 
 I want to tell you this because I wish someone did. I wish someone had given me a heads up that life can get much worse. Worse than you ever thought and the worst part is that, outside of your head, life is okay and actually has the capacity to be good. It takes some time of being him to learn what I am telling you. I'm not telling you this so that you can prevent it. 
 
 You ca n't. 
 
 You can only learn to see it coming and do your best to minimize the frustration. You will learn that you need to have a release valve for him. You are going to live with your depression for the rest of your life, but as I sit here crying because I wish you did n't have to go through this, I know somethings can be okay sometimes. And it's enough to get to keep moving. Hopefully, Forward. 
 
 I do n't actually have advice because you wo n't listen to it just like I did n't and I still have a problem with doing now. I just want to say I love you, and you at least deserve to love yourself even though he is frustrating. Only do your best to remember that and when you ca n't love yourself, take him for a run. He seems to feel much better after that. 
 
 I love you, 
 Your Future Self
