[ WP ] You 've just woken up in the body of Michael Scott . You now need to convince the rest of the office that you are n't actually Michael .

`` Micheal! Micheal!'' 
 
 Dwight rushed into Micheal's ( or my ) office, wearing his always-ridiculous mustard shirt ( or is it yellow... I should know by now ) and his tie trailing behind him. In his hand he held a manilla folder packed with loose papers. `` Micheal!'' he yelled again. 
 
 `` What! What is it?! And stop calling me Micheal! I've already told you that *I'm not him*.'' I was resting my head in my hands, wringing my black hair. 
 
 `` Yes, yes, I know you're confused. But now I think I have an explanation.'' He rushed over to the side of the desk and plopped his folder down. He began rifling through the papers in true Schrute fashion: maniacally. `` Look, just look at this,'' he said, pointing to a picture of mushrooms. 
 
 I sighed. `` What am I looking at?'' 
 
 `` It's the rare'Psilocybe mairei' mushroom, the kind that produces hallucinations.'' He lowered his voice and drew closer, causing me to back away a little. His eyes shone with inspiration ( and a hint of psycotic mania... ) behind his oversized glasses. `` However, what is *not* known by most people is that the CIA used these mushrooms to experiment on unknowing civilians. I would know. It happened to my cousin Mose.'' 
 
 I looked up at him. `` What the heck does that have to do with me?'' 
 
 `` Well,'' he continued, `` I know for a fact that you like to eat the vegetable spaghetti from Olive Garden every Thursday evening. Guess what it contains.'' 
 
 I sighed, a long, exasperated sigh. `` What.'' 
 
 `` *Mushrooms*!'' Dwight whispered excitedly. 
 
 `` Dwight, do n't you have work or sales or something you should be doing?'' 
 
 He looked at me, a tad hurt. `` Yeah, I guess so...'' he mumbled before he trailed out of the office, like a child who has just been chastised by their mother. 
 
 I returned to my contemplating, absentmindedly messing with one of the many desk toys. Last night I had been drinking with my college friends, like I did every Thursday night. After that, we had returned to the dorm at about 1:00 and started watching our favorite show on Netflix, *The Office*. I had passed out on some episode, which one I do n't really remember, and had woken up to the smell of crackling bacon. Upon sitting up, I saw a small George Foreman grill at my bedside, cooking away. I looked around the room, realizing that it did n't look familiar. I rushed to the bathroom mirror, greeted by none other than the face of Micheal Scott himself. 
 
 I'll admit it: I screamed. 
 
 My thoughts were jarred by another knock on the office door. `` Come in,'' I replied in a tired tone. 
 
 Stanley entered the room. `` Hello Micheal.'' 
 
 I cringed upon hearing that name. `` Stanley, like I told everyone in the conference room this morning, *I'm not Micheal*.'' 
 
 He rolled his big eyes. `` Yeah, whatever. I'm just here to talk about my raise.'' 
 
 `` Look, Stanley, I'm in no position right now to talk about raises. Ca n't this wait until tomorrow?'' 
 
 `` Tomorrow is Saturday. I wo n't wait until next week. You promised you would talk about it today. And I'm not falling for another of your attempts to put it off.'' 
 
 `` I understand that, but...'' I was interrupted by Kelley entering. 
 
 `` Hey Micheal!'' she piped cheerfully. I started to correct her, but was quickly cut off. `` Did you see'America's Got Talent' last night? Oh my gosh, it was *so* amazing. There was this little girl who could sing and dance, and I thought she looked a lot like a girl I used to know, so I asked Ryan about it, but he was all like,'Uh, I do n't know', but then I was like,'Yeah, you do you met her,' but he was all like...'' 
 
 She would have continued for days unless Jim had n't walked in. `` Hey Micheal, I'm sorry if this is a bad time, but I really needed to talk to you about those order forms.'' 
 
 `` In a minute, Jim, and I'm not...'' 
 
 Angela walked pushed her way in, followed by Phyllis. She planted herself firmly in front of my desk. `` Micheal, the Party Planning Committee decided months ago to use the blue streamers for Toby's birthday party today. But brainless here accidentally picked up green.'' 
 
 Phyllis looked guiltily downward. `` I just forgot,'' she mumbled. `` And if you had n't been yelling, maybe I would have...'' 
 
 Kevin walked in, followed by Oscar. `` Micheal,'' he spoke slowly. `` Our part of the office is all out of jellybeans, and I want to get more, but Oscar says he wants something different.'' 
 
 `` All I'm saying is that we've had jellybeans for *months*. I just want something different for a change,'' Oscar replied. 
 
 Everybody began talking at once. I could feel the tension building, mostly within myself. I began tearing my hair out and was about to shout a billion profanities when the phone rang. 
 
 `` Everybody shut up! I need to take this!'' They all were quiet. I pressed the speakerphone button `` What!'' 
 
 Pam's small, high voice replied. `` I'm just reminding you about the Corporate appointment today. They're sending someone over in a few hours to talk to you about the productivity of Stamford.'' 
 
 My heart quickened. I said a small prayer before responding oh-so-quietly, `` Who... who are they sending.'' 
 
 `` They're sending Jan, Micheal.'' 
 
 Oh crap. 
 
 Edit: fixed tense and grammar 
 
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