[ WP ] You 're from Earth ? What 's it like ?

`` Bigger than you'd believe.'' Rebecca hoped that would be hint enough to get the group of teenagers to leave her alone. To her complete lack of surprise, it was not. 
 
 `` Is it true that on Earth everybody owns a Leopard?'' 
 
 `` No, not everyone on Earth owns a sports car.'' Rebecca reached into a pocket for a cigarette. 
 
 `` I heard that there's dogs roaming the street levels and eating homeless people!'' 
 
 `` No, the homeless *feed* their goddamn dogs, and not on each other.'' She put the cigarette into her mouth and pulled her lighter to her face. Where the fuck was Jacob and why had he abandoned her to these tiny monsters? 
 
 `` Do all Earthlings drink vodka?'' 
 
 `` No, that shit's awful,'' Becca sighed. 
 
 `` Do n't you all eat *fish eggs*?'' 
 
 `` It's caviar, and it's fucking expensive.'' Also she hated it. 
 
 `` I heard there are n't any trees!'' 
 
 `` None outside the pots, anyway.'' That shut them up for a moment. She could see them pondering a world without free-range flora and fauna. Welcoming the moment of silence, she spent it blowing a smoke cloud into the air. 
 
 `` That sounds lame,'' a girl decided at last. 
 
 `` Extremely,'' Rebecca replied, hope filling her chest. 
 
 One of the teenagers, silent to this point, finally raised his voice. `` You're just saying that to get rid of us. Do n't blame you though. Pretty dumb questions.'' 
 
 Becca rolled her cigarette between her teeth. `` For the most part, yes.'' The kids were somewhere between disappointed and offended, but they stayed quiet, which made Becca happy. 
 
 `` We're just bothering you'cuz we do n't see Earth folk or UNASA officers out this far all that often.'' 
 
 `` *Retired* UNASA officer,'' Becca corrected. `` Note the lack of rank on my sleeve.'' 
 
 `` Well, I learned something,'' the boy observed, smiling. `` I'm satisfied. C'mon, guys, let's leave her alone.'' The group started to turn towards their little town, obviously headed home. 
 
 `` Well...'' Becca hemmed and hawed for a moment, before making up her mind. Jacob had apparently gotten lost anyway. `` How'bout I just tell you kids from the top? That way you get a clear picture.'' The teens stopped, looked back at her, and then almost in unison sat on the grass. Becca took a deep breath, wondering exactly what she had signed herself up for. 
 
 Jacob did not expect, returning thirty minutes later, to find his sister talking - lecturing? - a group of local kids. She was obviously pretty enthusiastic about it; she even occasionally unfolded her arms to talk with her hands. He was loath to break it up, but they were on a time table and Jacob had lost a lot of it arguing prices, so he had to get her away. `` C'mon, Becca,'' he shouted, `` we've got ta go.'' 
 
 `` Ah, shit,'' Becca replied reflexively. `` Well, fuck, guys, I guess I got ta run. Uh. You have a good idea, anyway. Do some research if you care. Hell, get a job there, it's good fuckin' work for the most part.'' She stood and pivoted on a heel. `` Sorry to run so damn fast, but uh, I got shit to do, so - have a good day, nice meetin' you!'' They all responded in kind; she did n't have time to parse any of it, and she set off at a sprint to catch up to Jacob. 
 
 `` I did n't know you were so good with kids, Becca,'' he told her, grinning as she pulled up beside him. She instantly began to glare. `` Hey, you were doin' great! I'm proud of you! Coming out of your shell!'' He reached over and patted her on the shoulder, grinning like an idiot. 
 
 `` Shut up,'' she replied, struggling to find a way to sound cool about it. `` It was just a way to pass the fuckin' time you were off doin' whatever the fuck you think you were doin'.'' 
 
 `` Coming out of your shell!'' he repeated, smiling broadly. She tried to punch him; he dodged and set off at a sprint, prompting her to chase at the same pace. 
 
 Back on the hill, the kids watched. They watched the two earthlings chase each other all the way to their ship, and straight up the ramp. Finally, the quiet boy came to their final verdict about the whole thing. `` Man, Earthlings are weird.''
