[ WP ] This time God wants to participate in April Fools

`` Hey, Steve, can you get me a glass of water while you're up?'' 
 
 `` Yeah!'' I took her favorite glass -- the one with the colorful geometric shapes -- down from the cabinet and reached for the water pitcher on the edge of the counter. With my head sticking out of the kitchen, I poured a glass and called out to her. `` So what do you want to do for lunch?'' 
 
 `` I do n't know. Whatever you feel like.'' 
 
 Shrugging, I set down the pitcher and went back to the living room. I handed her the glass before walking around the couch to sit beside her. `` I could make us some burgers, or we could --'' 
 
 `` What the fuck is this?'' 
 
 *What the fuck is with your random anger? *, I thought, swallowing anger in an attempt to sound reasonable. `` What are you talking about?'' 
 
 She held out her glass in front of her, shoving it under my nose. `` This! How -- and *why* -- did you do this?'' 
 
 I scowled, moved my face away enough to look at the glass. It looked exactly like a glass of water -- a receptacle in which I had poured dihydrogen monoxide so that I could transport it from the kitchen directly into my wife's hand. `` What's your problem with the glass of water?'' 
 
 She goggled. `` Look at it from the side.'' 
 
 `` Why? Why do you think it's going to be any --'' I stopped. 
 
 The water in the glass was somehow separated down the middle. 
 
 Let me explain. There was water on either side of the glass, but not in the middle. It was like each side had a column of water -- rounded on the edges of the glass, flat on the sides facing one another -- but they did n't meet. About half an inch of air was between the two walls of water. 
 
 For a few minutes, I just stared at it, boggling. I even put my finger between the two bits of water, and it stayed dry. 
 
 `` What the hell?!'' 
 
 **** 
 
 You know how they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results? Well, is it insane if you think the experiment *might* turn out different this time, but you know from almost all your prior experiences that it *should*? 
 
 First, we checked out the pitcher. Its water, too, was divided, though the space in the middle was bigger -- maybe two inches between waters. It *was* a bigger pitcher, however, so that kind of made sense. Next, we turned on the kitchen sink's faucet, and *that* was bizarre to watch. Normal water leaving the tap, but even though it looked like it was going straight down, the water only beaded and flowed upwards *on the sides of the sink. * 
 
 We tried every pitcher, every glass, every liquid we had in the house. Even a can of kerosene we kept in the garage, in case we ever needed to use the heater. All the liquids in our house parted. 
 
 Even the water in the toilet bowl. We flushed, and it lowered on the sides, somehow draining without touching the drain. While still rotating clockwise. 
 
 But glory, hallelujah, we were n't insane after all. We got surprising results when I turned on the showerhead. The faucet filled the tub on the sides -- and by that, I mean the side with the faucet, and the one without, despite the foot and a half of dry tub between -- but when I turned on the showerhead, nothing. All the water stopped. 
 
 Confused at this new bizarreness, I stuck my face under the shower. 
 
 And got pelted with a hard stream of water. 
 
 Sputtering, gasping for breath, I stumbled back and nearly bowled over my wife. We watched helplessly as the shower flowed evenly, the water in the tub connected, and our floor got wet. 
 
 **GOTCHA! ** came the voice from the heavens.
