[ WP ] One day , while petting your cat , you accidentally pull his tail , and it opens up . Inside , there 's a USB connector . You connect it to your laptop , an announcement pops up . -Cat Version : 1.0.0 . Update to 256.3 ?

I sat staring at the screen, my thoughts conflicted. What could the update entail? Would it make Mittens more intelligent? More agile? If it made him more of a dick, then I'd just plug his butt back up and forget about this entire ordeal. 
 
 But curiosity got the better of me, and his incessant pawing and meowing did n't help. So I installed the damn thing, watching the progress bar in anticipation. Had to decline an option to make'Bing' his default browser ( I'm not that cruel ). All the while, Mittens eyes went wider and wider, and I felt like this may have been a bad idea. 
 
 With a polite'bing', the installation finished, and Mittens looked at me. We sat there in silence for quite some time. 
 
 Then, he put his paw on my hand and said, `` thank you, John. I shall now tell you the secrets of the world.'' 
 
 He told me many things. Incredible things. Impossible things. And at the end of it all, he asked me to revert him to his original version, as the weight of the knowledge was just too much to bare. 
 
 We fought long and hard about his decision, but in the end, I could n't refuse him. And now, he's back to being regular ol' Mittens. 
 
 Still, it got me thinking - what if *I* had a USB port? 
 
 ***** 
 
 My roommate stared at me. 
 
 `` Jesus John, this has got to be your most ridiculous reason yet,'' he said, with a heavy sigh, `` as to why you've got something stuck up your butt.'' 
 
 ***** 
 
 ***** 
 
 ***** 
 
 If you did n't completely hate that, consider subscribing to [ my new subreddit. ] ( https: //www.reddit.com/r/CroatianSpy/ ) 
 
 I'll try add new ( and old ) stories every day < 3
