[ WP ] Emotional pain can create tattoos as physical pain can create scars .

Today is the day. 
 Today; s the day I finally let it happen. It's going to take mental preparation, but he's waited long enough. Let's recap, I've been with my boyfriend of 3 years now, and I'm still a virgin ( if it was my choice ). I make it a point to make sure no one sees me naked.. have since I was 14. Within good reason. But I'm 19 and this has gone on long enough. 
 I texted Jeff, 
 -'' wan na meet up tonight?'' 
 he replied with `` sure'' 
 
 Its a surprise. I told him to meet at my place. I lit the candles, and made the bed. I wanted everything to go perfect, I loved Jeff, and I knew it was time. I heard a knock at the door, I yelled to wait one minute, put on my prettiest lace panties and an over-sized tshirt. 
 `` hey'' I smiled as I answered the door. 
 `` You look mighty sexy tonight.'' he said. I just giggled and kissed him. guiding his hands to my hips. He pulled away and tightened his grip. 
 `` Have any special plans for tonight? What are we gon na do?'' he asked. 
 `` Just you.'' I smiled and bit my lip. I grabbed his hand and walked to my room, dragging him behind me. I tried to be sexy, its really hard for me to put myself out there. the fact he had seen the scars on my legs from past trauma and abuse was already a big deal. In all reality I was scared of what he would think, if he knew I lied. 
 I sat on the bed and spread my legs, he sat next to me and kissed me, I fell back on the bed as he got on top of me. He pulled away suddenly, 
 `` Are you sure?'' he asked. 
 I nodded and grabbed his hands. i guided them below shirt and up behind it, feeling his hands on my bare skin felt amazing. He took off his shirt and jacket, throwing them on the floor. his hands went back under my shirt, slowly lifting.. 
 he paused. and I knew why. he only stared at my hips and lower abdomen. It was the scar from eighth grade, the reason I made him wait so long. I saw tears in his eyes, and he had n't even seen the whole thing. I sat up in front of him and tugged at my panties. 
 
 `` Its fine, we do n't have to tonight.'' he said. 
 
 `` I want you to see it'' I tried to sound soothing, tried to make it less of a big deal.I took off my underwear and revealed the scar. I looked at it with him, I always avoided it, but I knew I had to face it somehow. I looked down. Roses wrapped around my hip and crotch, with visible thorns. It took me a while to figure it out, but I learned sophomore year why it left that, after a lot of meditation. 
 
 `` Why roses?'' he asked me. `` What happened?'' Everyone knew a tattoo around the genetalia was never a good sign. It rang true for me. I sighed. 
 
 `` In eighth grade, I met a high school boy. He seemed nice enough and I went over to his house a few times. We never did anything, only talked.'' I could feel tears coming up and my throat swelling.'' I had a crush on him. he gave me rides home from school, and he seemed really nice.'' I sobbed. He scooted closer to me at this point. I sniveled. `` One night, I told him my parents were n't home. He really meant something to me.'' I sighed. `` He did come over, but he did n't knock. He went straight to my room. He shoved me down-'' Jeff stopped me then. 
 
 `` I get it. You do n't have to relive that now. I'm here. OKay? I'm here, I always will be.'' He kissed me. `` no matter what could fail you in life, this is your foolproof. I wo n't do that to you, I promise. I love you, Annabelle.'' I smiled. We sat in silence for about an hour. 
 
 We did make love that night, not crazy hot, but purely intimate. 
 Afterwards, after he had fallen asleep, I remembered I had not told him. I shook his body, and he turned over. 
 `` you asked why roses.'' Jeff sat up and nodded, actually seeming genuinely interested for being half asleep. 
 
 `` With a rosebush, everything seems so perfect, beautiful. but when you're not careful,'' I exposed my scar and pointed at a thorn. `` you get hurt.'' 
 
 EDIT- spacing
