[ WP ] Write the letter that you always wanted to , but never did .

Dear Mom, 
 
 I guess here we go. It's only a matter of time before I write you this, and only a little bit longer in the grand scheme before I join you. But here we are. 
 
 Before you overdosed you said to me `` You ca n't go back to college. You fucked up.'' Less than a week later you would be dead. If you had n't died, I would not have made it back to college. I guess it's the little things, like that, which make it difficult to accept your death. 
 
 Dad's been a wreck since you've been gone. He lost his job. He does n't work. He does n't even move most of the time. I'm not there to comfort him. I miss being able to talk to you two, and you'd hand the phone off. You would n't always be happy. But the two of you would at least have some semblance of life in you. 
 
 The girlfriend and I broke up. She was n't right for me. I know you thought she was, but you were wrong. Have n't dated anyone really since then. Not really. Mostly wandering. 
 
 I met people. People who I thought would be my best friends who'd quickly fade. I guess it's difficult for me to maintain intimacy of that sort, of any sort. 
 
 I'm really scared I'm going to turn out like you. I love you, but in the end there was no impact that you made, no friends who would help you when you were suffering. Just me. 
 
 But then there are times that I think, hey. I'm making it through college. People are talking to me. I'm moving forward. 
 
 I'm going to make it, and when I have a child, they will make it as well. And no matter what your spirit passes through me. 
 
 I love you. I love you. I love you. 
 
 `` That kid with the face''
