[ WP ] When you die , you do n't go to the afterlife of you 're religion , you go to the afterlife of the religion whose tenets you followed most closely , knowingly or not .

For a large chunk of my life I expected nothing to happen after... well after *I* ended. I expected complete cession of consciousness, a total end to my cognitive functions... a lack of everything including the self-awareness that would have made the Void unbearable. 
 
 What I got was a man behind a desk with a file that had my name paper-clipped onto it. 
 
 `` So...'' I said, `` can I check to see if I've gotten this straight?'' 
 
 `` Yes,'' the man behind the desk said, `` It'd be rather... embarrassing for me if you do n't.'' 
 
 `` Okay,'' I said, taking a deep breath, `` Every Religion's afterlives are simultaneously true.'' 
 
 The man nodded. 
 
 `` The Afterlife which has jurisdiction over you is judged by the tenets that you live your life by,'' I said, `` and not geography, birth, or even your own belief.'' 
 
 The man nodded again. 
 
 `` In that case...'' I said, `` Why am I sitting in the Celestial Bureaucracy?'' 
 
 The man smiled slightly, and then looked down into my folder, `` You fit our hiring requirements.''
