[ WP ] The trees are whispering

I walked through the woods at a moderate pace, 
 
 The serene graceful scene brought a smile to my face. 
 
 When all of a sudden the silence was broken, 
 
 The oak just beside me had awoken and spoken! 
 
 I could n't make out what exactly it said, 
 
 And I made a quick note to get meds for my head. 
 
 Now I wo n't stand for rudeness; I'm quite a nice guy, 
 
 So I quit being shy and I told that tree `` Hi!'' 
 
 `` Oi.'' said the oak with a bellowing snap, 
 
 `` I'll slap yer crap hed in u fookin small sap!'' 
 
 `` I'll rek u rite now and then beat ur ass numb, 
 
 And then I'll go bang yer dum mum like a drum!'' 
 
 `` Excuse me?'' I asked, `` What's the deal with the hate?'' 
 
 The tree told me straight: `` I'll bash u in m8.'' 
 
 I decided to leave and, I mean, can you blame me? 
 
 I wo n't lamely just stand there and let a tree shame me. 
 
 As I ran down the path, it continued to spite me: 
 
 `` U pansy-ass nerd, get rite back here and fite me!'' 
 
 I ran out of the woods and at last caught my breath; 
 
 Would NOT recommend the `` True Chav Woods of Death.'' 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

