[ WP ] Ever year around Christmas Satan accidentally gets thousands of letters from children writing to Santa , this year however he gets a letter that makes him sit up and take notice .

`` Let's see... Satan, I dud...? No, did not cry. I want Play Station. Satan, I wish I get another dress and shoes. Dear Satan, a little doggy will do... pheh. Kids nowadays...'' Satan mumbled to himself as he scurried through the pile of misspelled letters for Santa. Satan used to throw the letters in the hell fire furnace without opening them. The innocence and the purity inscribed in those papers were unbearable to the progenitor of the evil. But recently he acquired a secretive hobby of scanning them through. It was joyful for the greatest fallen angel to see how the beloved creation of God turned so materialistic and greedy, which were more of the hell's virtues. Of course, the innocence in the letters still made Satan's red fingers fizzle with unholy fire. But nevertheless Satan read them to pass his time. Eternity can get boring some times. 
 
 Satan shuffled through the pile of the Christmas letters. `` Satan, I wann.. wan na, Batmobile. Satan, satan, satan...'' At this point, Satan had already lost his interest in reading them all and began to flick through the pile like a flip book. `` Satan, satan, satan...'' Satan mumbled as he passed through the most of the letters without paying much attention. He liked to imagine that the letters were written for his glory, although he knew very well that the respect and the effort was misdirected. Then, among the passing pages, a certain word caught his devilish eye. *Kill. * Satan stopped flipping through the pile and took out the letter with the word *Kill* in it. Satan read it through: 
 
 *Dear Satan: For this Christmas, I want kill my dady. My daddy is nauughty person. I di n't need coal. I need daddy kill. Thanks. Lana. * 
 
 On the bottom of the letter was a picture drawn with grey crayon which depicted a kitchen knife severing the neck of a stick figure. Satan grabbed the letter with his both hands, but his red fingers stayed calm on the paper. From this Satan inferred that the innocence and the purity of the child named Lana was already lost. Satan leaned forward and reached for a small golden bell on the top of his letter desk, and swung it twice. The very fabric of space twisted until it was torn open, and from the rip scar of the space crawled out a giant fly. 
 
 `` Beelzy!'' Satan welcomed his loyal companion and servant with open arms. 
 
 Beelzebub, in the form of the giant fly, made no attempted to hide his grimace. He spat his acidic saliva on the floor and made a gesture of pushing the desk covered in the letter of children. `` Gee, Lucy, get those fucking letters away from me. It's disgusting.'' As the lord of the flies pleaded the lord of the hell to remove the letters from his presence, Satan stood up from his chair and brought the letter to Beelzebub. `` Lucy, I'm telling you...'' Beelzebub said, but Satan interrupted in the middle of the sentence by rubbing the letter on Beelzebub's red scaly eyes. 
 
 `` Odd. Such young child, but without an inkling of their usual innocence left.'' Beelzebub stated as he snatched the letter from Lana from Satan. He turned his eye to Satan, whose hands clasped together on his back and whose lips showed a demonic grin. `` Oh, no.'' The lord of the flies uttered. 
 
 `` Oh, yes.'' Satan replied. 
 
 `` Oh, no. Lucy, this letter was n't...'' 
 
 `` Was for me. Read it! Satan, kill my daddy! It's definitely for me!'' Satan claimed as he drummed his chest. Beelzebub dropped his head to the floor as he realized the lord of the hell has already made up his mind. Beelzebub knew there's no entity in the hell who could convince Satan otherwise when he's hyped up to do something. Beelzebub shook his head. He could already see the vision of the divine retribution of the angels burning his secret grub dens in the human realm in his red, scaly eyes. For both denizens of hell and heaven, directly intervening in human's businesses was more or less taboo. It was agreed on both sides that they'd give a complete freedom to choose their path and Satan was about to violate that sacred and profane pact. Beelzebub growled. 
 
 `` So, we know anything about the father?'' asked Beelzebub. Satan opened his all-seeing eye on his forehead and spied on the mortal human realm. Beelzebub slapped his face with his claws. He hated when the lord of the hell acted so rashly. 
 
 `` Well, the guy fucks his not-even-a-teenager-yet-daughter regularly and punches and kicks her often even. Then sold her to the likes of his to buy some booze.'' Satan shared his vision with Beelzebub, and the scene of the father thrusting the screaming child, Lana, showed on Beelzebub's mind. `` Oh,'' said the lord of the flies with a delighted voice. `` So, he will be here with us any time soon. No need to hurry, huh?'' A glimmering chance of reverting his crisis was perhaps possible, the lord of the flies thought. 
 
 `` No, the point of this Christmas present is in the immediacy of it. It's not a Christmas gift when it's not given by Christmas!'' Satan proudly declared with his hands waving around like an Italian dictator. 
 
 `` Since when did we celebrate Christmas, Lucy?'' Beelzebub complained. 
 
 Satan tapped his chin few times, and answered Beelzebub's question: `` Well, we got the false prophet, the black mass, and the devil. They all are the anti-thesis of their divine counterpart. So, we will celebrate the dark Christmas, to defile and desecrate the divine holiday!'' 
 
 Dark Christmas. Beelzebub had to hold his laughter from that before the presence of the lord of the hell. Well, what the heck, Beelzebub thought, this too shall pass. What the lord of the flies did n't know at the time was that in the God's plan, Lana's father was to repent and be redeemed of his sins and welcomed into the Gate of Heaven. Hence, decapitating the man with a salvation reservation and putting his head under the dark Christmas tree were in a way robbing a soul from God Himself. Thus began the Armageddon.
