[ WP ] You always hear people say , `` That 's the oldest trick in the book ! '' . Well , you just found that book .

“ Sir… we found it. ” I spoke the words into the phone as clearly as possible, trying to make sure I didn ’ t burst out into joyous hysteria. 
 
 “ Robinson, this damn better be good. Do you realize it ’ s two in the morning here? ” 
 
 “ I know sir, but we couldn ’ t wait. It is THAT important of a discovery! ” A slight squeal of excitement passed my lips and went through the phone. 
 
 There was a small bit of annoyance in my boss ’ s voice. “ Alright… let me guess, you found the holy grail? ” 
 
 “ It ’ s better than that sir. Way better. ” 
 
 “ … The Ark of the covenant? ” 
 
 “ Better sir! ” 
 
 “ Did you find the remnants of Noah ’ s ark?! ” 
 
 “ Sir, this is the most important discovery ever! Think Bigger! ” 
 
 I could really hear the excitement in his voice now. “ Did you find clues to the lost city Atlantis?! The ancient ruins of the tower of Babel?! ” 
 
 “ No sir, we found ‘ The Book. ’ ” 
 
 A brief bit of silence came on the phone. “ A book? Did you find Homer ’ s Margites? ” 
 
 “ Sir, I don ’ t think you understand. We found ‘ The Book. ’ ” 
 
 “ …I don ’ t understand, what is ‘ The Book ’? ” 
 
 “ You know the saying ‘ The oldest trick in the book ’? Well, today during our excavations, we found ‘ The Book ’. ” 
 
 I was greeted by silence. I could tell the boss was deep in thought. Was this the discovery that would finally turn my career around, did I finally earn the ever coveted prestige from my boss? 
 
 Minutes passed by. The silence was killing me. At first, I thought I killed him from the excitement. Then the voice I was waiting to hear came on the phone. “ Robinson… I never want you to call me at this number ever again, you understand me!? ‘ The Book ’. Do you take me as some kind of fool!? Let me guess, the oldest trick in the book is a whoopee cushion, right? Some ancient Greek probably filled a sheep stomach with air and had is wife sit on it. Is that what you are going to tell me!? ” 
 
 I was a little-taken aback. “ I ’ m sorry sir, I thought you would be a little more excited about this. I haven ’ t opened the book yet. I ’ m just going off of what the locals are saying. They say it matches the description perfectly from their old records and the stories that were passed down. I was going to open it while you were on the phone. ” 
 
 “ Well, I ’ m up. Let ’ s have it, what ’ s the oldest trick in the book? ” 
 
 With bated breath, I began to open the book as carefully as possible. They were listed from newest to oldest. I slowly skimmed the pages, trying to translate as I went. There were passages like “ turning water to wine to impress your friends ” or “ How to part the Red Sea. ” I finally made it to the end of the book. I was astonished… Was this truly the oldest trick in the book? 
 
 “ Well Robinson, let ’ s have it, what ’ s the oldest trick? ” 
 
 “ I can ’ t tell you sir… ” 
 
 “ You wake me up, and you can ’ t even tell me what the book says!? Are you an ido- “ 
 
 “ No sir… you don ’ t understand. There is no page with the oldest trick… it ’ s missing. ” 

