[ WP ] `` For what it 's worth ... I 've always loved you . ''

*Dear Alexandra, * 
 
 *How have you been? Everything here has been amazing! School has come to an anticlimactic end, and my main project has finally wrapped up. All this weight has finally lifted from my shoulders and it's a glorious feeling! * 
 
 *But, for what it's worth, I've missed you a lot! You're there, and I'm here... I feel like the hours and miles between us are palpable. But I just wanted to let you know... Well... it's something I've been meaning to say to you. * 
 
 *Sure, maybe we've never been together the way that I'd hoped. What we are, the fabric of our relationship, it never really blossomed into what I imagined us to be... But sometimes what actually exists, the reality of a situation... sometimes that is more... more potent, than what our dreams can establish anyway. * 
 
 *Maybe the countless nights of us sitting together in my car, talking about everything and nothing, listening to the music we both loved, stealing glances, occasionally holding hands... Maybe that was never what it seemed... But I swear to God, I've seen that look in your eyes. It's just* **screaming** *out that you love me, that you wish we could be together. * 
 
 *... Or maybe it's a way of showing me that deep down, you wish you'd found the capacity to love me within your heart? * 
 
 *Hell... Maybe you look in my eyes, and knowing what's within me, all you can muster is pity! * 
 
 *Because I* know *that you know how I feel. Even if I've never said it before... Never articulated my thoughts and feelings to you face to face... I know you understand me! You understand where I'm coming from... * 
 
 *I just know that nothing about it is the way that it should be. I wanted to be more than this... I wanted to hug you... kiss you... love you... make love to you... I wanted it all... And we're so damn* compatible! *How can you deny it?! How can you turn away? How can you* **possibly** *think that you'd be happier with someone else when there is so much between us? I know you've felt it! I know that you... Well... * 
 
 *... Well regardless... Here we are. Hundreds of miles apart. We're not even friends. We're not even relevant in each others lives anymore. We're not... anything. I guess it's well past time that I learned to let go of you. But... * 
 
 *But for what it's worth... I've always loved you. * 
 
 *-JD*
