[ WP ] Anti-piracy agent spends $ 50K in Brothels to protect Copyright . Plot twist : Unlike the news item , make it an actual James Bond-like mission .

Bob McDonald ( yes, this was the best I could come up with ) was an anti-piracy agent. He was sent on a mission to bust a group responsible for pirating multiple summer blockbusters. But before he could go, he had to go talk to Dr. Munchkin, the guy in charge of gadgets. 
 
 `` What've you got for me this time Doc? ``, Bob asked. 
 
 `` Well, here you have a standard-looking Desert Eagle'', Dr. Munchkin said, gesturing to the aforementioned handgun, `` but, it can carry twice as much ammunition and only you can fire it'' 
 
 `` Who am I? Judge Dredd? ``, Bob joked. The genius stared at him. 
 
 `` Moving on'', Dr. Munchkin said, `` this is an exploding pen, and this is a-'' 
 
 `` Yeah, yeah'', Bob said, `` this stuff's cool and all, but where's the car?'' 
 
 `` Very well'', Dr. Munchkin replied, agitated, and led Bob over to a white 1965 Shelby Mustang adorned in two blue stripes, `` this beauty has a completely bulletproof exterior and a Ferrari engine. It's armed with a rack of missiles behind the grill and two semi-automatic machine guns, in addition to wheel spikes for extra traction and seat warmers. Do try to return this in one piece''. 
 
 Before Dr. Munchkin could finish, Bob had already left. He arrived at a fancy party in a New York mansion. 
 
 `` THIS is where the films are being pirated? ``, Bob asked, pulling out his fake I.D. He stepped into the mansion, and immediately forgot what he was doing after he saw a group of attractive women in bikinis standing next to a chocolate fountain. 
 
 Five hours later, Bob awoke in bed with two redheaded supermodels, covered in chocolate. He walked over to his clothes, which were dyed brown. He escaped through the window and went to his car, where he put on a fancy suit and red bowtie. He returned to the building and wandered down into the basement, where the mansion's owner, James Ferguson, was dealing cocaine and pirated copies of movies to a bunch of thugs. Instead of trying to blend in, Bob walked in and pointed his gun at Ferguson's head. 
 
 `` Feelin lucky, punk? ``, Bob asked. 
 
 `` What do you think you're doing? ``, Ferguson asked, drawing forth a gun of his own, a gilded revolver. 
 
 `` I'm arresting you for pirating movies and dealing drugs'', Bob said. 
 
 `` How are you going to do that when you're dead? ``, Ferguson asked, as a group of spandex-clad mercenaries aimed their weapons at Bob's head. 
 
 `` Crap'', Bob said, as they opened fire. He fell to the ground, as red fluid leaked from his suit. As the soldiers left, Bob got up, emptying the ketchup packets from his suit. James Ferguson was escaping in a Range Rover Evoque. Bob jumped into the Mustang and began chasing him. They drove on the coast, and Bob got a clear shot at the Evoque. He flipped a switch, and the missiles fired. However, they all missed, and the mercenaries returned fire. Bob drove the Mustang closer, activating the machine guns. Bullets riddled the Evoque, as Bob narrowed the distance between them. The cars were neck and neck, giving Bob the perfect oppurtunity to accelerate. Once he was in front of the Evoque, he dropped the spike strips, which deployed and popped the Evoque's tires. The car slid to a halt, and the police force showed up. Ferguson and the mercenaries were arrested. 
 
 `` That's what you get for pirating movies'', Bob said, hopping into the Mustang. The End. 
 
 
 
 

