[ WP ] You have near omnipotence and can bend reality to your will , but everyone knows you have this power and wo n't stop pestering you for favors .

It's Tuesday. 
 
 I'm still rubbing sleep out of my eyes when I open up my laptop and boot up the computer. I could make it run faster, but this is a familiar ritual. It's comforting. Anyway, I can always recover the time later. These days, time is n't a big deal for me. 
 
 I cheat a little bit when I make my web browser open up faster than usual, so sue me. I'm a god, I have ultimate power, blah blah blah. I use Internet Explorer, just as a bit of extra security ( as if I need it ); after all, I'm the only one in existence who can get it to function properly. 
 
 The icon of my email blinks into a smiling face, and the number of unread emails pops up over it. I ca n't read what it says. It looks like 119. 
 
 Actually, it's 1,193,781,094. That's one billion, one hundred and ninety-three million, seven hundred and eighty-one thousand, and ninety-four. Roughly one seventh of the world's population sent me a notification, if every person only sent one. 
 
 Less than usual, but I suppose it *is* Tuesday. 
 
 Now's the time when I regain my time. I lean back to stretch and crack open a can of beer before I get started, stopping time after I take a sip. Nothing like a good drink and omnipotence to get you going in the morning. I get to work. 
 
 > Lara Camilla @ laralovegood.yuno 
 > > can i have a puppy 
 
 I sigh. Nope. Lara's mother is allergic to dogs. Technically, I could *unallergic* her, but then a few years down the line, she'll try to pet a German Shepherd and lose her finger. And I could stop *that* from happening, but then a few years after that, something worse will happen. And I'm not dipping my omnipotent fingers into the goddamn time stream just so Lara Camilla can have a puppy. Pass. 
 
 > Jake Sans @ jakejakejake.gibbon 
 > > Please give me the new star wars dildo 
 
 What the fuck? I stop to consider this. Well, it's not like it'll do anything too harmful in the long run. I snap my fingers. 
 
 > Jake Sans @ jakejakejake 
 > > DVD* fuckshitfuck autocorrect 
 
 Oh. 
 
 > Rupert Comma @ ruproh.yuno 
 > > Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. Fallout 4. 
 
 Pass. The little shit. 
 
 > Eleanor Morgan @ ellie-nor.mfw 
 > > world peace 
 
 I mark it as spam. There's always one, you know? There's always someone who tries to mess with things too big for their own good. I hate those most of all. Why does there always have to be someone who wants to change the world? 
 
 I move on. None of the rest are asking for anything more than a new car. The guy who did ask for that requested via a pretty sweet poem, so I gave it to him. It's just a car. Nothing world changing. Nothing special. No one wants anything bigger than their own lives. 
 
 It's just Tuesday, after all.
