[ WP ] All religious deities percieved by humanity exist simultaneously , and are tasked with controlling the places on Earth whose populations believe in their respective religions . Due to the rapid expansion of Christianity over the centuries , God and Satan are now extremely overworked .

In the Grand Hall on the edge of the existence, excellence assembled. A man with long flowing locks and a hammer with power beyond comprehension sipped on mead and challenged a dark haired Greek demigod, still wet with the blood of the hydra, to an arm wrestling contest. The two powerful beings flexed their biceps as the air crackled with electricity. The other gods watched with tedium as a brief break from their occupations. Zeus lazily crafted lightning to strike with fury for the world; Ra idyllically produced golden rays of sun to bathe the planet. Stripped of their awesome power by monotheistic mortals, the gods assembled and occupied themselves in simple occupations with the company of one another under the direction of a more powerful being. 
 
 As they drank mead and wine and engaged in pointless chatter, a fallen angel opened the doors to the Grand Hall for the first time in over a millennium. Dressed in a black suit made from the darkest fabric of space and time, pure white, feathery wings raised from his back complemented a handsome visage which could convince the world of evil. His fair hair and smile immediately won over Aphrodite ’ s affection while Tu ’ er Shen looked to him with an eager expression. Behind him walked a simple man adorned in a white robe whom the other gods immediately recognized. Odin saluted the elderly man who lazily saluted back in a show for respect. While the pair attracted the most attention, a young man with blue skin and lotus leaves entangled in his auburn hair followed their heels. 
 
 “ Lend me your attention, ” the man in the white robe announced. “ Gods and goddesses of times past, present, and future, deities and demons, and creatures of all supernatural persuasion, Satan and I have spoken: we need a vacation. 
 “ We ’ ve placed the world in a temporary state of suspension so that time shall not pass as we discuss the matter of mortals. As you are all very well aware, the advancement of the Abrahamic religions has spread across the world like the dark crawls across the night. Billions upon billions invest their absolute faith in my abilities and test Satan ’ s capability of spreading wicked deeds. Sri Krishna has alleviated much work from my shoulders as the champion of Hinduism whose powers and omnipotence rival mine, but his efforts are too concentrated in a small part of the world to relieve my strain. ” 
 
 “ So what are you going to do? ” spoke Zeus. “ Lay waste to the world with yet another flood? ” 
 
 “ I think not, ” the man in white replied. “ They ’ re too far along in my plans to eradicate in totality. No; I seek a babysitter so that Satan, Krishna and I may enjoy a brief moment of peace by sightseeing the various nebulae and supernovas. Thus I propose a contest for the prize of earth and its worshippers for 500 years. ” 
 
 A sudden clamor overcame the room. Gods of war and strength quickly gathered their weapons. Tricksters eyed the room suspiciously, looking for weakness or deceit to exploit. Champions of wisdom gathered books and papers eager to bring enlightenment to the world. 
 
 “ So what ’ s the contest, then? ” some stray supernatural being spoke. 
 
 “ A simple contest, ” the man in white spoke. “ On earth, mortals know me as God, the All-Knowing, the All-powerful, and a half dozen other superfluous titles, but as you know, God is nothing more than a title. To whomever can guess my true name, I will bestow the earth. ” 
 
 ****** 
 
 More stories at r/Andrew__Wells
