[ IP ] I was but a speck in enormity of nature .

The longer I sat and gazed into that room, the more I realized that I would never enter it. I watched as what seemed like the entire town danced and whirled around each other, smiling, wonderful and carefree. I knew as much before I came, but I had hoped my yearning would outweigh my fear. I had hoped that today I would be more than this pitiful man peaking around corners wishing for the coolness of spirit to enter in and become a part of creation. But here I stayed, just out of sight, looking at my life as it should have been. As it could have been. 
 
 Then, terribly, I glimpsed her. She wore the most beautiful golden gown, as if it were made, every stitch, of the precious metal. The glow reached all the way up and illuminated her face in a way that elevated her from a mere mortal. The other fools scurrying around her had no idea she was above them all. She was as a god, dancing and laughing at her subjects, taking joy in all that she had created. They would all be laid low in her wake. Her majesty would consume them all when she was done with them. She would devour them for having the temerity to gaze upon her sunlit face. 
 
 Indeed, I craned my neck to see more of her graceful movement. For the briefest moment, I could have sworn she looked directly at me. I would have run, but it was fleeting, as she moved around the grand ballroom, apparently not noticing the pale little gnome gazing longingly from beyond the entryway. 
 
 From my perch, in that moment the decision was made. I would leave and never return here. I would never seek out her face again. I would never have the courage to say my name to her. She was too powerful. She was too grand, too beautiful and fearsome. I was just a speck to her, to be seen and not noticed. 
 
 I stumbled out of the hall and into the still night air. There was no one to share my loneliness as I ambled down the street watching my shoes. It is a loathsome thing to know how small one is. A loathsome thing, indeed.
