[ WP ] Bernie Sanders wins the presidency but is secretly assassinated . Now one of his team must continue his presidency ala Weekend at Bernie 's .

Gretchen, the militant lesbian feminist socialist that had supported Sanders from day one of his bid for the presidency wakes from her 3 year coma to the year 2019. 
 
 Coming through the haze she notices the familiar sound of television. On the television she hears reports of the Nations amazing GDP growth of 6 % last quarter, wages are up 4 % YOY, black unemployment is down 7 % since 2016, and the nation is experiencing capital investment like nothing we've ever seen before. 
 
 Memories begin to come back to her, she remembers being at a rally for Bernie Sanders. The moments just before she was trampled by a group of fat Sandernistas who overheard they were giving away free donuts at the back of the auditorium. She remembers that Sanders had just won New Hampshire and with all this good news about the Country that he must have won. 
 
 Gretchen begins to become over joyed in her belief that Sanders is now her president, all her efforts were not in vain. Then the news anchor releases a statement that sends her into a craze of uncontrollable emotions, `` President Trump has single handily turned our nation around and brought pride back to the greatest nation in the history of man''. 
 
 Gretchen screams as loud as she can as she quickly loses consciousness and descends in an empty mental black abyss. 
 
 Trump 2016 
 Brought to you in part by 
 /r/the_donald
