[ WP ] You are a lowly minion in a computer game . The hero has just completed a speed run , and you have to report to your boss and explain why you were spared , while so many of your comrades were slain .

`` MINION.'' 
 
 `` Yes, s-s-sir...'' 
 
 `` How are you still alive, when every one of my other minions seems to be, I do n't know, DEAD?'' 
 
 `` W-w-well, sir, it's a f-f-funny story...'' 
 
 `` Well, I, the great and almighty Kraztar, Lord of Sheep, God of Bones, and Idol Connoisseur, DO NOT FIND YOUR STORY FUNNY SO FAR, GRUB.'' 
 
 `` S-s-sorry sir, I truly am incomprehensibly stupid'' 
 
 Kraztar sighed. 
 
 `` Just tell me what happened, Grub.'' 
 
 `` Well after you sent Alexandra, y-y-your dr-dr-dragon to kill the heroes of l-l-legend...'' 
 
 `` Get on with it!'' 
 
 ``... There was a hero from the group that decided to go alone, bringing only the magical sword of Arthkogdania and the armour of Geldrandhagia...'' 
 
 `` Pardon me, Grub, sorry to interrupt, but are you telling me that a hero of legend has somehow acquired a sword that can actually kill me and an armour that does n't make me stronger, going against the rumours I spread, and beating all my tactics that should have allowed me to beat everyone, including sending my strongest minions first?'' 
 
 `` He also killed Jennifer, your s-s-sea serpent, sir.'' 
 
 `` Was she wearing her plexiglass goggles?'' 
 
 `` Yes s-s-sir.'' 
 
 `` What the hell is this person'' 
 
 `` **YOU CALLED SIR? **'' 
 
 `` No, Hell, just another metaphor.'' 
 
 `` **OH. **'' 
 
 `` So, Grub, was this person by any chance, hopping everywhere backwards?'' 
 
 `` Y-y-yes, sir, how did you kn-kn-know?'' 
 
 `` Grub, I want you to get every goblin ( B ), skeleton ( A ), and dark soldier ( A ) that I have summoned and move them all to the final chamber.'' 
 
 ``... Sir?'' 
 
 `` And also all the mages that fire a gazillion bolts at a time. It's time for the corruption to take place.'' 
 
 ^ ( `` You called, sir?'' ) 
 
 `` A METAPHOR CORRUPTION, A METAPHOR.''
