[ WP ] The cast from “ It ’ s Always Sunny in Philadelphia ” somehow enters the GoT world .

*Black cue card that reads *Podrick's Pub, Tuesday 10 AM* 
 
 Charlie: I'm just sayin', eating a bit o' brown down in Flea Bottom is n't that bad of a thing for a guy to do, is it? 
 
 *Cut to PUB INTERIOR. CHARLIE RIVERS, a slovenly looking bastard from the Riverlands, sits at the bar across from DEE FLORENT, a not-so-comely tavern wench with overdone make-up and big ears. She wipes the table down as she responds* 
 
 Dee: R-really?'Eating a bit of brown is n't that bad for you', are you serious? They put *rats* in the brown, Charlie. They put in pigeons and rotten vegetables. I've seen a man stir the pot with his grimy *hand*! 
 
 Charlie: Brown is brown, Dee! I ca n't explain it, sometimes you just have to stop being such a prude and go with the flow! 
 
 Dee: The only thing that's going to be flowing is your shit when your bowels turn to water, Charlie. That stuff is gross! 
 
 *MAC bursts in through the door, followed closely by DENNIS FLORENT and his father FRANK* 
 
 Mac: Hey-oo! What's up wenches?! We've got some big news here, some *big* news. 
 
 Dee: So you've finally decided to take the Black with all the other rapists and thieves, eh Mac?! 
 
 Mac: DO N'T YOU SAY THAT!! The Night's Watch protect the realms of Men from the horrors beyond the Wall, Dee! Something a stupid *bird* like YOU could n't understand! 
 
 Charlie: I know, man! She is such a *bird*, right? I mean, she talks bad about the Night's Watch, she does n't enjoy a good bowl of brown- 
 
 Mac: Bro, you're still eating *brown*?! We can afford food now, bro, you do n't have to eat that shit anymore. It's gon na turn your bowels to water. 
 
 Dee: *throwing hands up exaggeratedly* Thank you! 
 
 Charlie: You too, man?! Look, the brown is an acquired taste but it's *fine*! Why am I going to waste tons of money on rare exotic foods when I can get a cheap bowl of brown and I'm good to go. 
 
 Dee: Bread is NOT AN EXOTIC FOOD! 
 
 Frank: I agree with Charlie, in fact I've started making my *own* brown just to minimize expenses. It's so good, I'm thinking about sellin' it! 
 
 Charlie: Whoa, dude, you're making brown?! When did thi- 
 
 Dennis: **STOP**, stop stop! I do n't care about *any* of this. Moreover, we're talking about bowls of brown like savages when we have some important news to discuss. 
 
 Dee: Fine, Dennis, what is this *amazing news* you're talking about. 
 
 Dennis: *smiling smugly* Well it just so happens, I've got an audience... with Loras Tyrell. 
 
 *There is a beat as the GANG looks around at each other. Dennis becomes exasperated. * 
 
 Dennis: Loras Tyrell? Of Highgarden? *waits for response, receives none* The Knight of Flowers?! The brother of soon-to-be-queen Margary Tyrell?! 
 
 *Another few moments pass as the GANG thinks, murmuring to themselves. MAC suddenly brightens up* 
 
 Mac: Oh oh! The gay dude! 
 
 Dennis: What?! No! He's not *gay* Mac, he's noble. Nobles have a much fancier way of living than you or I, let me tell you. And that is our destiny, not *bowls of brown*. 
 
 *Dennis stares pointedly at Charlie before continuing* 
 
 Dennis: I have it on good authority that the Tyrells are looking for vendors to sell food and drink at the upcoming wedding of Margary and Joffrey. And *I* just so happen to have gained an audience with Loras to put in our bid to supply wine for the feast. 
 
 Dee: Dennis, that's *amazing*! 
 
 Charlie: Dude we're going to make SO much money! And Frank can bring his fancy brown stew and sell it, too. Start a market up. 
 
 Frank: Good idea, Charlie! 
 
 Dennis: No no NO! No brown! How are you not getting this?! 
 
 Mac: They just do n't get it dude. 
 
 Dennis: No, they do n't, because they lack the decorum to deal with the nobles. I'm not going to have you ruin this opportunity with shit stew from Flea Bottom! 
 
 Dee: Opportunity? Wait, you mean we're not in yet? 
 
 Dennis: Oh no, not yet Dee. But it's gon na happen. I can be very persuasive when I mean to be. I speak the language of these nobles. Florent is a noble house, after all. I'll convince them to give us the contract, you can be sure of that! 
 
 Mac: But... how? 
 
 *Cut to the title card and intro music. Title card reads: * 
 
 # Dennis Florent Bangs a Gay Lord 
 
 

