[ WP ] You are tasked with conducting the funeral of the human race .

I am the last living man. Alice is the last living woman. We are wearing orange jumpsuits. Silver hovering robots herd us into the courtroom. It's a big courtroom, with rows and rows of empty seats for observers. On the judge's desk there is a large screen. The robots heard us before the screen. Above the screen an led-light on the video camera glows red. 
 
 A man's face appeared on the screen. Grey beared and biblical, looking stern. I know he is a false man, since we are the last two humans alive. But he looks like my childhood conception of God. 
 
 `` Xavier Roberts'' said the judge, his voice deep and profound. Hidden speakers in the desk carried a rumbling bass. `` Do you know why you are here?'' 
 
 `` My sentencing''. 
 
 `` Alice Tsung'', he continued, `` Do you know why you are here?'' 
 
 `` My sentencing'' she said. 
 
 `` You have been found guilty of tax evasion, rent violations, eating of animals, failure to hold a job, living without a personal id code, and unauthorized theft of foodstuffs. The sentence is to have your brain and memories uploaded into the computer and your body disassembled and fed to endangered African tigers''. 
 
 `` Your honor'', I said, `` I would like to mention that I and Alice are the last human alive, and we should qualify for the endangered species act''. 
 
 The computer creased his head briefly and said `` Denied. Endangered species act was cancelled in the last election by a majority of corporations. `` 
 
 `` At least let us hold a funeral for the human race''. 
 
 The judge's image froze. It did not move. It was like the video stopped. 
 
 The he animated again. `` You must provide videos of this funeral, and upload them. You must agree also to obtain a personal identification code to tag your videos with. Until this is arranged, your archiving will be delayed.'' 
 

