[ WP ] You come across a prophetic book . It does not predict what will happen in the future per se , but it does predict exactly what WO N'T , CA N'T , and CAN NEVER POSSIBLY happen .

You open the dusty, old book you found in the forest one evening. It only says, `` Ask'' on the first page. The rest are completely blank. 
 
 Ask? Why would it say that? Then a smirk forms across your face. Just to mess around you write a question in the book. You let out a laugh and read over the question. It says, `` Will I poop myself tomorrow?'' 
 
 You wait for a response from the book. Nothing. You chuckle to yourself and put the book back on your desk. That night you consider selling it in some garage sale to maybe creep some kids out. That would be hilarious. 
 
 You wake up the next morning, thinking of writing something else in the book. Then something crazier pops into your mind. `` Will I run around the house naked?'' you write. Just the thought makes you burst out into laughter. Then you nearly fall off your chair. `` No'' appeared on the page. 
 
 At first you're terrified. A harmless joke has suddenly become a nightmare. You consider burning the book, but then see that's a bad idea upon realising the power of the book. If it can predict the future, you'll be able to do anything. 
 
 `` Will I burn you?'' 
 
 `` No.'' 
 
 Huh, looks like the book really can predict the future. Time to think of some important questions. 
 
 `` Will I get fat?'' 
 
 This time the book does n't respond... Then you remember the first question you asked. `` Will I poop myself tomorrow?'' That was today, and it did n't respond to that question... Could that mean, yes? 
 
 `` Will I eat something in a few hours?'' 
 
 Again, there's no response, confirming your theory. Well, it's probably a good time to put that brown underwear on, except you do n't have any, so you just put on the black briefs you have. May as well be prepared, right? It might even be a good idea to go to the King Size store down the road... 
 
 But then the mother of all questions enters your mind. `` Will World War 3 happen?'' You wait for it and it seems to take longer than usual. No, this ca n't be right. `` No'' is n't coming up. This is not good. 
 
 `` Will World War 3 happen today?'' you write frantically. Your heart's pounding in your chest as you wait for a response. Nothing appears. You put the pen down shakily and take a deep breath. Oh God this ca n't be happening, you think to yourself. There's got to be a way you can survive through this. 
 
 `` Will I survive?'' you write. You hope against all odds that the book wo n't respond this time. You wait and wait. Thankfully, there's no response. That makes sense right? Otherwise you would n't be able to get fat in the future. 
 
 `` Will I find a fallout shelter?'' There's no response. You frantically search on the web for fallout shelters and find there is one just a few blocks away. You throw in all the tinned food you have into the car. There's only ten tins of food. Whenever you get fat, it's definitely not going to be in the fallout shelter. You drive exactly the speed limit, hoping the entire time you wo n't see a flash in the distance. It only takes you a few minutes to arrive at the fallout shelter. 
 
 The fallout shelter is a public one that was thankfully never converted or torn down. You're grateful that your parents decided to move to an extremely rural location now. You open the door, roll the tins of food down the stairs, grab the book and pen, shut the door, and race down stairs to the second door. You open it up, roll the tinned food through there, set the book and pen down on a bed, then race over to the door and shut it tight. 
 
 That's when you feel the rumble. It gets more and more intense until you can hear roaring wind raging above ground which makes you cover your ears. It would have easily blown out your eardrums if you were n't in the shelter. The worst part was the screams *before* the wind. People who knew the horror of a nuclear blast right before it killed them. You knew it would haunt you for the rest of your life. 
 
 You pick up the book shakily and give it a kiss on the cover. This dusty, creepy book you found in the middle of nowhere had saved your life. Then you suddenly feel weight pulling down your underwear and a wet feeling. Guess the book was right about the poop... 
 
 Now you have the next couple of weeks to ask the book questions. So the next day, after you've eaten your baked beans for breakfast, you ask the book, `` Will the war end in 3 days?'' 
 
 `` No.'' 
 
 `` Will the war end in 4 days?'' 
 
 `` No.'' 
 
 `` Will the war end in 5 days?'' 
 
 There is no response. Well, that's good. You figure there'll be some more fighting after the nukes were launched, but obviously not for long. Negotiations between the world are probably underway right now. 
 
 `` Will I ever laugh again?'' you ask. No response, so that makes you feel better in these grim times. 
 
 Over the course of the few weeks in there you ask other questions. `` Will I find love?'' `` Will I have a family?'' `` Will I be *morbidly obese* fat?'' All of which return no answer. Guess you've got a bright future ahead of you, one filled of delicious food... 
 
 In the year 2030 you're middle aged, have a family and you weigh at least 330 pounds. You also own a big house in Australia now. Leaving America seemed like a good idea after what happened between Russia and the US. 
 
 The world stage has changed drastically, with China being the first world super power, and countries like Australia, Brazil and India being the most developed. North Korea had apparently let some nukes fly in the Russia/US exchange, which subsequently got North Korea blasted off the world map. South Korea had to be evacuated. Although, China were kind enough to give South Korea a small portion of a land and name it `` Korea''. The majority of Russia and US is uninhabitable. Many Americans moved to Canada or Mexico. Russians moved to other places in Europe or further up north in Russia. 
 
 One thing is clear, there will be no World War 4. You asked the book and it said, `` No''. World War 3 was a literal Hell unleashed on Earth. Maybe it scared humans away from war for good. 
 
 One day, you decide to tell your daughter your story of World War 3. She thinks `` You are the mostest, bravest person ever!'' You smile. But then, inevitably she asks, `` Will something badder than World War 3 happen?'' 
 
 Only one way to find out. You ask the book, `` Will something badder than World War 3 happen?'' Your daughter has a way with words. 
 
 There's no response. How could something worse than WW3 happen? This is bad, whatever it is. You begin to panic. Getting through WW3 was the most terrifying experience. 
 
 `` Will something worse than WW3 happen in my daughter's life time?'' 
 
 You wait eagerly. It seems to take longer than usual. 
 
 `` No.'' 
 
 You let out a sigh of relief. 
 
 `` Will it happen 100 years from now?'' 
 
 `` No.'' 
 
 You continue to ask further, until you ask, `` Will it happen 500,000 years from now?'' and it leaves no response. You feel reassured that whatever it is, it will only be a natural event. 
 
 Now that you've settled down, there are some deep questions you'd *really* like to ask that you never got the chance to. `` Will I find the meaning of life?'' There's no response, which excites you, because that's a question you've struggled with forever. `` Will I die?'' Again, there's no response. Just something you've got to accept. It's probably best we all die at some point anyway. 
 
 `` Will the universe end?'' you ask. Then your jaw drops. `` No'' responds the book. `` What are you?'' you ask the book. You expect no response, probably because the book ca n't answer it due to only giving `` No'' answers, but what you see next shocks you! 
 
 `` GOD'' 
 
 With that, the book slams shut *on its own*. Thankfully, you moved your hands away in time. You utter a `` wow...'' and lie down on your bed. The universe is a crazy place. 
 
 So that night when you're lying in bed, you look out your window and admire the stars. What a beautiful life. You do n't know whether that was God or not speaking through the book, but it certainly made you reconsider everything. Even if it was n't God, the fact that something paranormal, demonic, spiritual or whatever it was spoke through to you that way and changed your life so much for the better... You could never thank it enough, especially when you treated it as a joke initially. 
 
 You make love to your significant other like no other night. You never actually felt closer or more loved than that night. Your partner appreciated all the extra cuddling. After a kiss good night, you decide you want to pass the book onto your daughter some time in the future. 
 
 The year is 2040 and your daughter is heading off to college. Before she leaves the house, you hand her something very special; the book. 
 
 `` Oh, another text book?'' she laughs. 
 
 `` No, it's something much more... I know this sounds crazy,'' you explain, `` But Rosemary, this book is the most wonderful, and personal thing I could ever give you. This book saved my life during the war and it answered some of the deepest questions I could ever give it. It even made me see just how beautiful this universe is.'' 
 
 She chuckles a bit at first, not believing a book could mean so much. But then gives you a hug and says, `` I love you.'' 
 
 `` I love you too,'' you respond. 
 
 She gets into her car and puts the book on the front passenger's seat next to her. She sends you a loving smile and you wave her good bye. You trust she'll take care of the book and that it will serve her well in her own life.
