[ WP ] Tell me a story , any story , but you may only say what DID N'T happen . Good luck .

`` I did n't stab him.'' Barry the Repeat Offender scratched at his arms, his head twitching at imagined sounds. His legs seemed to vibrate under the table, and every movement could be described as'a fidget.' 
 
 Officer Dan did n't like fidgets. 
 
 `` Now, when you say you did n't stab him, does that mean you know who did?'' 
 
 `` I was n't there, man.'' 
 
 `` Barry,'' Officer Dan sighed, `` We have your fingerprints all over the scene.'' 
 
 `` N-n-n-n-o, man,'' Words seemed to stick on the tip of Barry's tongue, `` I meant I was n't there yesterday.'' 
 
 `` How did you know it happened yesterday?'' 
 
 Barry's face turned whiter, something Officer Dan did not think was possible for the pale recidivist. Instead of answering, the repeat offender drummed on the table. Dan slapped Barry's hand. 
 
 `` Ow, man, what the hell? That's brutality!'' 
 
 `` What's brutality?'' Officer Dan's eyes were wide with feigned innocence. Dan stood up, and pressed the weight of his body into his knuckles, his knuckles into Barry's sweaty, white hands. 
 
 `` You're crushing my hand man, stop it!'' 
 
 `` Me? That's not *my* hand. *I'm* not the one assaulting you.'' Dan pressed a little harder until Barry's whining reached new heights. 
 
 `` Ow! OOOWWW! QUIT IT!'' 
 
 He took his weight off, and Barry let out a cry of relief, guarding his hand. 
 
 Dan sat back down, as if nothing had happened. 
 
 `` Nobody has to know anything, Barry. All I need to know is what *didn't* happen. So, what did you *not* see last night?'' 
 
 Two minutes later Dan had a complete, if tangled story.
