[ WP ] It turns out those weird texts you 've been getting are from you one week in the future

> hey fucko 
 
 bruh who dis 
 
 > its you from the future 
 
 is this payton 
 
 > nah its you from the future 
 
,,, sure ur not payton 
 
 wait what the shit you've got my number 
 
 im literally being texted by my own number what in the dick 
 
 > i told you im you from the future 
 
 how does this even happen 
 
 > u sure u wan na know? 
 
 just tell me dogg 
 
 > it was elon musk 
 
 the tesla dude right 
 > yeah i dont actually know the full story but like 
 
 > spacex was a front for time travel research thats where all the funding was going 
 
 > the government is losing its shit because he did this totally unauthorized and on the downlow 
 
 thats wild 
 
 > he made it free to the public its an app 
 
 > i saw sam doing this earlier so i figured paradoxes dont actually matter 
 
 dope 
 
 who wins the presidential election btw 
 
 > trump 
 
 fuck really 
 
 > lmao im messing with u 
 
 > im only a week in the future 
 
 oh shit nice 
 
 can you send humans through time yet? 
 
 > yeah 
 
 fuck, dude 
 
 im guessing theres only one time machine though 
 
 > theres four and theyre open to the public but its hella expensive 
 
 > like millions of dollars per usage 
 
 > it puts you out anywhere in the world you want to too its fuckin wild 
 
 who was the first person to time travel? 
 
 > it was actually a group of people 
 
 im bracing myself 
 
 > elon collaborated with time magazine and they pulled a bunch of people from the influential list 
 
 > obama and biden both went 
 
 > oprah 
 
 > kanye 
 
 > pewdiepie 
 
 are you fucking kidding me 
 
 > stephen hawking 
 
 shit bruh 
 
 > yeah its nuts the whole world is fuckin losing it 
 
 where did they go? 
 
 > they literally went back in time, shook their past selves' hands, and then came back 
 
 that stable time loop tho 
 
 > yeah 
 
 > some people from yale went back and took photos of dinosaurs 
 
!!!!!!!!! 
 
 > i know!!! here lem me find one they were on the bbc 
 
 > [ attached psittacosaurus.png ] 
 
 > [ attached quetzalcoatlus.png ] 
 
 > [ attached tyrannosaurusrex.png ] 
 
 HOLY FUCK 
 
 > YEAH I KNOW 
 
 so could you bring a dinosaur back from the past???? 
 
 > elon says hypothetically yeah but the chambers only fit one person and what they can carry 
 
 > and also thinks its unethical to take baby dinosaurs from their mothers 
 
 daaaaaamn 
 
 > yeah.,, 
 
 did they find out what happened to amelia earhart yet 
 
 > she went down over the ocean 
 
 thats underwhelming 
 
 > yeah but i mean whatd you expect 
 
 > shockingly you guessed the two biggest things they found out so far 
 
 im just fuckin dope like that 
 
 > true 
 
 > the only other really cool thing is that people from wikipedia have been going back in time 
 
 > and then photographing old dead people 
 
 > if theyre important enough they even tell them whats going on 
 
 > like i know for a fact george washington was told about time travel 
 
 > he's got a photo on wikipedia now 
 
 > im sure they did a bunch of presidents 
 
 > [ attached jamesmonroe.png ] 
 
 thats hot 
 
 > them sideburns 
 
 so i guess i'll have to text myself at some point in the future too 
 
 > got ta keep that loop 
 
 > its been like three days though i was mulling over doin this 
 
 ill try not to paradox it 
 
 > good move 
 
 > imma head out i got a test 
 
 fuck which class 
 
 > calc 
 
 oh yeah i know abt that 
 
 > study tonight 
 
 > maybe you can retroactively implant shit in my brain 
 
 that sounds like itd make a mess out of timelines 
 
 > yeah but itd be cool 
 
 truuuuuu
