[ WP ] `` Well ... why do you want to be in a relationship ? '' Sam asks .

`` What do you even want? You've been in relationships before. You dated Jasmine for like 3 years. Then you dated pretty much everyone when you moved to the city. Let's be honest you were a little bit of a slut, dude. I mean, Sarah?'' 
 
 I laugh, because we both hooked up with Sarah, and am thankful for the dash of levity. 
 
 `` But really though,'' she continues, `` What did you get out of those situations and what did you actually enjoy having? Not just chasing after, but what did you actually enjoy having? Do you need a relationship to bring you stability? Or to keep you from stagnating?'' 
 
 I do n't respond. Flashes of my love life scroll through my mind in an instant... moments of enjoyment, confusion, frustration... love. 
 
 `` Should stability and moving forward even come from a relationship? Can a relationship bring that? Or is that something that you need to establish on your own? Shit, honey, more importantly, what are you going to bring to a relationship?'' 
 
 I do n't answer immediately, `` It's hard for me to say what I *have* to offer, but I know where I want to go and what I *want* to offer. I have never held a job more than a year, and I have never really felt like I have held a job well. I know that needs to change, but I do n't really know how that needs to shape up specifically,'' I pause, `` I am comfortable getting along with all sorts of people, from working with them to living with them...'' 
 
 `` Is getting along a requirement for a relationship? Is that end-game? Do you need someone you can get along with? Do you need someone who pushes you?'' 
 
 `` I do n't know. I would like to be the kind of person who does n't have to get into a car wreck to start wearing a seatbelt. I want to be constantly moving in the right direction without needing a carrot on a stick or a spur in my side. But I hope that if I do start to stray that the spur or the carrot or whatever the hell works happens to me in my life -- and sooner rather than later, too. I crave a certain level of, I do n't know... independence? - both to my benefit and innovation, and to my detriment and stubbornness - that I suspect would make it impossible ( or at least impossibly frustrating ) for someone to constantly ride me with spurs or carrots. But if someone chooses to walk beside me, I would appreciate the spur or carrot where appropriate.'' 
 
 `` You can keep your spurs. I'll take the carrots,'' she whinnies as she trots off towards the barn ahead of me, `` I think I see Jo heading over to the gate. And I do n't know about you, but I've had enough of this dry grass.'' 
 
 I gallop off behind her with a smirk. 
 
 Because, you know, we're both horses.
