[ WP ] Dscribe depression in a contextless monologue .

I'm really not sad, I know this. Sadness is a feeling, an emotion; and those have long since abandoned me. I do n't have a crush, I've always had one. The rejection hurt when my feelings were n't reciprocated, but this? This is so much worse. It does n't hurt, there's just a hole. A whole where the pain should be, a space for me to store my sadness and my happiness, and let them fight to see who rules me today. But they've both left. I can *feel* where I should feel it, but it does n't help. That hole is all there is now, by the time I even noticed it was there I had already been completely swallowed by it. Why would I try and climb out? It's not comfortable down here, but it's easy. 
 
 I think about suicide, never seriously enough for concern. I'm not going to kill myself because what would be the point? Those I cared about would be affected, but they would get by, not without their scars, but those fade. I'm not dead, but I know I'm not alive, death would be redundant. 
 
 There are days though, days where the faintest glimmer of light pierces the darkness. I could play a game that stirs something, or a movie that I ca n't tear my eyes from. It can even be as simple as a passing glance or word. Where I move my eyes from the darkness to see the thinnest glimmer of... something. Is it hope? I do n't know, do n't much care to. But somehow I know that it has substance, that I could grab and start to climb. The climb would not be easy and I could fall and hit the ground, but nonetheless I could climb. 
 
 Then the glimmer disappears, and the darkness engulfs me again.
