[ EU ] Write a serious story substituting as many words for pokemon names as possible .

I opened the door to the apartment. The windows were boarded up. Slivers of light cut through. I walked to the fridge as I had been instructed. I opened the door and took a peek- 
 
 `` Achoo!'' burst a voice from the shadows. 
 
 I flinched with fright. 
 
 `` Bless me.'' said the hooded stranger. `` I have the Alice Potion you came for.'' 
 
 I could n't see his face but it mattered little what he looked like. Markus needed me. 
 
 He handed me a small vile with white liquid. If I did n't consume what I assumed to be poison my best friend would be killed. The hooded bastard with outstretched hand had called me earlier that day and let Markus speak briefly. His life was in my hands and I owed him mine. 
 
 I took the vile. Popped the lid. Sniffed it and downed it in one. It was... salty. I slammed it on the table bathing it in a slice of light. The captor of my friend started to giggle slightly. My gaze was drawn to the silver tea pot that reflected the vile. The vile itself was labeled'Muk: Ekans Arbok' but the mirror image on the tea-pot... there was something in it... the letters were all screwed up but if you took that into account... it read... 
 
 `` Markus! You fucking asshole!'' I shouted and swung for him.
