[ WP ] The universe conspires to make you late for work everyday . Your boss gives you one last chance . This time you 're ready ...

Normally, I would have slept through the night, but I ’ ve been buzzed on amphetamines and caffeine just to stay awake and get to work on time. 
 
 I will not be late. 
 
 I have burned all of clothes except what I wear to work. There will be no sorting through piles upon piles of shirts this time. I quickly, but carefully, don the outfit of a man working his job 
 
 The phone rings, but I can not and I will not waste my time on a call. 
 
 Sorry, Trish I think to myself. 
 
 I glance at the clock. I still have time. 
 
 I get in my car and look at the fuel gauge. It says it is at empty, but I do n't care. I start the car and drive to the office. Halfway through the trip, there ’ s an accident on the intersection I turn to my office on. 
 
 The universe wants me fired, and I can ’ t allow that. 
 
 Instead of waiting on the accident to clear up, I go through a back alley on the other side of the street to weave around the accident, but there ’ s somehow a large crowd walking on the sidewalk on the other side. 
 
 I honk my horn at the pedestrians, but no seems to bat an eye. 
 
 I honk again. Again, no dice. 
 
 I take a look at the clock in my car, and I ’ m almost late. 
 
 Not today. 
 
 I drove through the smallest gap in the pedestrian thicket, and drifted onto the road. I drive up to the office with 10 minutes to spare, but before I can park, my car goes dry in the tank. 
 
 I can not wait to pay someone to get gas, so I ditch my car in the middle of the parking garage and bolt to the punch clock. On my way there, I lock eyes with my boss. 
 
 “ You ’ re on time for once, “ He says to me. “ Keep that up ” 
 
 You have no idea what it cost me. 

