[ WP ] A man wakes up one day to find that he had gained a superpower . The next day , he gains another , completely random and new superpower . This continues everyday . At first , everything seems fine , even awesome . Until his randomly generated superpowers started to conflict with each other ...

Mother had always said I was special, but this was ridiculous. 
 
 I woke up one morning, just like any other human would, thanks to my vigilant alarm clock. I had to head to work soon, all of those vegetables would n't slice themselves for my restaurant's patrons. As I tied my shoelaces, I realized that something felt very off about today, something I could n't quite put my finger on. Something peculiar. Maybe it was the weather. Yes, surely, that must be the problem. 
 
 I arrived at work, and set about my usual daily duties. Dishes through the washer, putting meat on to cook, chopping onions and various salad components just like any other day. Until the damn waitress walked in and screamed, nearly deafening me. Looking at her in irritation, with one eyebrow raised so as to question as well as look annoyed, she could only tremble, and point at the cutting board under my hands. Looking down, there's no bleeding, no misplaced digits. I feel no pain. Nothing was wrong. 
 
 Until a good ten seconds later when I realize that i'm holding and using all seven cooking knives without even batting an eye. 
 
 I blink a few times. What was I, crazy? That was just plain dumb, i'm indeed lucky to still have my hands intact. But as I try to pry my fingers away from the grips, it dawns on me i'd been using the blades this way for a good twenty minutes. Half an hour, even. All at the same time, without so much as a nick on the knuckles. 
 
 I must be some kind of weapon wielding master. 
 
 The head chef, investigating the waitress' scream, looks into my station and sees me, holding my tools of trade. Aghast, he admonishes me for being so reckless, so stupid. He tells me to pack up, and sends me home, and suddenly i'm down one day's pay, walking home pale as chalk while I try to sort out all the thoughts that plague me. How did this happen? Does it still work? What else does it work with? 
 
 Stumbling through my door, my hands quite pale from how hard I had been gripping the steering wheel of my car, it dawns on me that I had tied my shoelaces simultaneously, one hand apiece. Curious, I try something different. Three pens and a pencil, between the gaps of my fingers, and my writing is neater with all of them than it usually is with one. *This is nuts. * I stumble to bed, drained from my efforts, hoping that I'll wake from a dream, hoping that my new-found skill does n't leave me, hoping that I can truly be special. 
 
 And all too soon, i'm awoken the next morning, by the same watchful clock that had awoken me yesterday. Opening my eyes slightly, I slowly reach out to my wallet on my bedside table, and peel six coins of various sizes from the leather folds. Holding my breath, I wonder if I was actually in a very elaborate dream, brought on by some kind of illness. But a sigh of relief deflates my cheeks, as all six coins roll across my knuckles as though they were destined to dance on my fingers, puppets on a string. 
 
 Smiling, I decide it's time to test the limit of my power, and I make them move faster. Spinning, flipping on my palm, balancing on their edges, the coins are alive in my hand, waltzing, *faster* doing the cha-cha, *faster* mid-tango, *faster, again* and they're all in one solid clump in my sweaty palm, as though in binds. 
 
 WHAT. So I went from massive dexterity and control, just to have them stick to each other, as if by magic. Clearly there must be something at play here, some tiny devil or wannabe Loki messing with me. I pry at the coins, trying to dislodge them from another. Nothing. But when I concentrate, they amazingly slide apart in my hand, all separate again. Now this was confusing. What was the change? Why did they come apart? 
 
 Looking around my room, I notice several of my household items strewn around; my laptop half off my dresser, my car keys beside me on the floor, my lamp on the precipice on my drawers. Pretty unusual, even for someone like me who just walked off an X-men comic. And then it dawns on me: magnetism. I hold my hand over my car keys, and focus on my palm: the keys fly up to meet it, miniature pulleys and ropes forcing them to me. I push a little at my laptop, and it rights itself to where it was before, as does the lamp when I push at it. *Oh man, things just got awesome. * 
 
 So I went out for a bit, and tested my abilities out in the world, calling in sick at work. Pulled a few coins from the ground like a super metal detector while I was own at the park, and bought four cheap hotdogs, literally juggling them with a single hand and eating them while casually strolling down the street. Newspaper reading? I can do three. Making phantom pulls on dog collars? Magnetism, baby. Coin control? All day long. 
 
 It all seemed so effortless until I collapsed on the street from exhaustion. 
 
 Waking up in a drunk tank was one of the less favourite memories of my life, but at least I did wake up, and was n't just murdered in the street. The police had likely picked me up, as it had been getting pretty late, and a man just lying in the middle of the sidewalk seemed as good a precursor to drunkenness as any. But as the clock ticked midnight, as fairy-tale as it sounds, I felt a flood of power rush through me, and I knew I had gained yet another power. There was only a few problems, the first being that I was in a cell, and the second was that I was n't sure what my new power was. So how do you test for a new power? 
 
 Well, I had figured out my magnetism due to focusing on my coins, but I did n't have them here and maybe my power did n't include them anyway. So I tried to focus anyway, let my mind flow, thoughts leak from my head. In reality I probably drooled a bit, I was standing there for quite a while. But nothing felt right, nothing felt... impactful, I think, is the word i'm looking for. There was a small toilet in the corner, so I decided to relieve myself, hopefully figure out something new. *Oh no, please, do n't let it be something involving the toilet... * 
 
 And yet, in a weird way it was. Looking into the bowl, I could see my reflection, and as I had speculated, a bit of drool was dangling from the corner of my mouth. My brow furrowed, I could n't feel any on my face. Wiping my face with my sleeve, my face indeed felt very dry. But according to my reflection, I had quite a glob stuck to my gob. So I decided to concentrate on the drool, see what happened. 
 
 Well, I did n't feel any different. But my reflection felt otherwise. The saliva grew and shrunk, changed size and even colour as I watched it, looking into a toilet in a drunk tank, of all places. I wished it gone, and so it was. I tried to change my face a little, and ended up with something I can only think of as an eight-bit malfunction that thought it was a pokemon. That's what my reflection showed, anyway. My actual face felt pretty ordinary. *Ahh, illusion magic* 
 
 From there, it was a simple matter to make the police think one of their coworkers were in the drunk tank, magnet pull some of the keys off their belts, and walk out of the building. Keen to cause more havoc, but even more keen to get some sleep, I went home, careful not to use my powers in order to keep myself from burning out. 
 
 And every day after was all downhill from there. The day after, when I finally woke up, I could create metal from absolutely nothing, which was insanely fun coupled with my dexterity and magnetism. Believe me, wielding four seven-feet greatswords will make you feel pretty badass. Following that, cartomancy, or otherwise known as tarot card reading. Though they could n't tell me about my powers directly, they were useful in predicting celebrity movements, so I could be a doppel-troll of the highest kind at events that they attended, if I planned everything correctly and did n't get tired. One day I even got hair teleportation, which was a lot less cool than it sounds. I mucked that one up a little bit, and now i've got a small patch that simply wo n't grow back on the side of my skull. 
 
 Oh, other powers soon followed. Plant manipulation, sensing death, feather creation are all well and good, but sometimes it was difficult to distinguish between them. For example, heat manipulation, and control over fire. Even though they are similar, apparently, according to several slightly singed hobos, they are not the same. Growing multiple ears is not really useful when you can already pick up a moth's fluttering wings thanks to echolocation. And being able to consume atoms is **NOT** something to be messed with, I had to wait a whole week after that before I got a power that could grow my left arm back. Could you imagine if I did n't have my psychic power in order to manipulate everything around me? What would I do then? 
 
 But there's one power i've never got. Because, after all the generations from agelessness, from all the hours passed from keeping the human race alive so I can mess with them once more, from all the time I've manipulated in order to make the world a perfect place in my own image, i've still never gotten... 
 
... rid of that devil, Lucifer. 
 
 *Author's note: I spent wayyyyy to long on this. And at all the small hours too. If anyone has any thoughts, i'd appreciate them! *
