[ WP ] God shows you 3 Doors . Door One leads to eternal happiness , Door Two leads to infinite knowledge . Then there is Door Three , and God has never opened it yet .

When I come to, I'm standing at the gates of Heaven. A balding, white haired man dressed as a security guard approaches me, but not one of the shitty security guards like outside of a club, more like a mob enforcer. He tells me that his name is Saint Peter, and that I have a meeting with the big man upstairs. He directs me to walk down the gold embedded stone road leading to a large office building resembling the Burj Khalifa, where I am to take the elevator to the right, past the pomegranate trees, up to the very top floor where I am to meet with God. 
 As I make my way into the large office at the top of the building, I am greeted by the soothing voice of Morgan Freeman. God has begun to make small talk with me and informs me that Morgan Freeman was actually the second coming of Christ, but no one cared since his voice was so soothing. 
 It is then that the Almighty makes me a proposition. `` There are three doors in front of you,'' he says. `` Behind one, eternal happiness.'' I decline, saying that to show light, there must be dark. `` Behind the second, infinite knowledge.'' I once again decline, stating that with knowing everything there is to know, there would be no point to life. `` Behind the last, not even I know. I've never had the balls to open it.'' I choose this one, wanting to know something that even god does n't. 
 I open the door, greeted by a soft, golden glow. I enter the room to claim my prizes. The first, a grilled bologna and cheese sandwich. The second, a signed copy of National Treasure. As a consolation prize, God lets me pass from Heaven to Earth as a ghost whenever I wish. Plus, Heaven now has a copy of the greatest piece of cinema ever filmed.
