[ WP ] A game among aliens is to conquer other planets using the laws of that planet . Earth is their next target , but what they do n't realize is that our bureaucracy is a mess .

`` Hello there'', said Kytros, of the Derhy tribe, greeting the unaware human receptionist, sitting behind the information desk at the United Nations Headquarters in New York City, `` I should like to meet with your leader.'' 
 
 His portable shape-adaptor device allowed him to look just like any of the thousands of workers and diplomats that entered that building daily. 
 
 `` You mean my supervisor?'' asked the woman, not certain of what had been requested. 
 
 `` I mean the Secretary-General. I should like to speak to him'', said Kytros. 
 
 The game had started not half an hour previously, and Kytros wished to win the bet that took place every eight cycles between the players of The Lawful Game - to conquer a world using that planet's own rules. It had developed as a thought-experiment from the Theoretical Law department at one of the Galaxy's most prestigious education establishments, and soon it had gained a following throughout most sectors. So far, no planet had managed to resist the meticulous attention to detail and nuance that the players had, and the Earth looked to be just as easy to conquer as the rest had been. 
 
 Intent on winning the game as quickly and swiftly as possible, Kytros landed and immediately headed to the UN, as that was the highest organization on the small planet, and it had proved easier in the past, when he had conquered Lherqwa, to make use of the laws of the most dominant form of organization. 
 
 The receptionist, whose tag indicated was named `` Diana'', looked at her computer monitor and back at Kytros. 
 
 `` I do n't see any meeting scheduled for the Secretary-General. Did you have an appointment?'' 
 
 Kytros' instant translator had some difficulty processing that last word. `` Appointment? ``, he said, `` What's an appointment?'' 
 
 `` Well, you ca n't expect to just walk in and have a meeting with whoever you want, much less the Secretary-General. You have to make an appointment in advance.'' 
 
 `` And how do I do that?'' 
 
 Diana reached behind her and took a sheet of paper from a pile. 
 
 `` You can begin by filling out this form. Hand it back to me when you're done, thank you'', she said, smiling, before turning to face another waiting visitor. 
 
 Kytros was taken aback. Never had he faced this situation. Perhaps things were run a little differently here on Earth. Never mind that; as the receptionist said, he only needed to fill in that piece of paper and he was set. After a few minutes of struggling to figure out how to use a pen and some seconds of writing, Kytros returned to the smiling Diana, who promptly took the form from his hands. 
 
 `` Oh, I'm sorry, Sir, but you need to fill this out in capital letters. It's written right here at the top, see?'' she turned the paper, but Kytros failed to recognize the requirement from a half page of small, cramped letters. `` But here, have another.'' 
 
 Kytros returned to a seat by the revolving doors and again filled out the form, carefully writing in capital letters. Once he was done, the smiling receptionist again took the paper and expertly took a look at it. 
 
 `` Very well, Sir, now you have to fill in this other one'', and she handed him a second form, nearly identical to the first. 
 
 `` But, I just handed you the other one... Why do I have to do it again?'' inquired a baffled Kytros. 
 
 `` The first one is for the appointment and will be sent to the General-Secretariat's administrative department. This one is to be sent to the office of the Secretary-General himself, who might approve or reject the meeting.'' 
 
 Resigned, Kytros, again took his seat and filled in the necessary paperwork. Handing it back to Diana, he began to fear the welcoming smile with which he was received. 
 
 `` Fantastic, Sir. Now, you will need to contact the UN security department as soon as possible. You need to have a security approval before you can get that meeting'', she said. 
 
 `` And how do I do that? ``, asked Kytros. 
 
 `` You need to send a letter to their department'', indicated Diana. 
 
 `` Is n't it in this building as well?'' said a stunned Kytros. 
 
 `` It is, yes. Third floor, I believe'', she said. 
 
 `` Then why ca n't I go there directly? And why a letter?'' 
 
 `` Oh, they need you to make an appointment as well. And for security reasons, mail is their preferred method of communication, I'm afraid.'' 
 
 Kytros grew irritated at the pointless paper-pushing. `` And when will I be done with all this and see the Secretary-General?'' 
 
 `` If all goes well, 6-7 months'', answered Diana. 
 
 Disconcerted, Kytos figured he could perhaps use his legal expertise to bypass these months of waiting time. 
 
 `` Look, surely you have a set of procedures. May I have a look at them?'' 
 
 Taking this for a request to see the original Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Diana was quick to answer. 
 
 `` That will also require an appointment, Sir.'' 
 
 Kytros was just about to reveal himself as the alien he was, just to get a different response than that tyranical smile, when he thought of something else. 
 
 `` Then, where can I find the one responsible for your global armament?'' he asked, thinking that if he could use the law to blow this ridiculously fastidious planet up with their own weapons, then he would win the game easily. When he saw the begining of a smile forming on the receptionist's lips, however, Kytros knew something worse was to come, perhaps a new appointment to be made. 
 
 `` Sir, the United Nations is not responsible for the world's armament. That lies with the countries themselves. If you wish to address that topic at our Disarmament Committee, you will have to make an appointment with each nation's delegate. 
 
 `` Oh,'' realised a suffering Kytros, `` And how many countries and delegates are there?'' 
 
 The alien knew, when Diana showed the largest smile so far, two rows of white teeth in a flashing grin, that this would be the end of it. If he had to go through this procedure more than a couple of times, all was lost. 
 
 `` One hundred and ninety-three.''
