[ WP ] Epic Rap Battles Of History ... And Fiction !

**Roland Deschain Vs Aragorn II** 
 
 **Aragorn** 
 
 Old man you're talking to a king, show respect i'm your master 
 
 You'll be one one knee fast but Susan was on two faster 
 
 You got a kid, a black chick and a junkie crack head 
 
 I summon armies of ghosts, call them my own grateful dead. 
 
 I slap around Uruk-Hai, yeah i'm a pretty touch guy 
 
 You lost a hand to some crab men, you think you're as skilled as I? 
 
 I wield the sword that was broken, what's this herb that you're smokin'? 
 
 You better give up now, you came-commala now get goin'. 
 
 **Roland** 
 
 Yeah, I may be old and grey so show respect to your tutor 
 
 Once your girl Arwen sees me she'll be begging for my shooter 
 
 Yeah I lost a hand to a crab, and a couple toes too 
 
 Does n't matter, this cowboy only needs one hand to fuck with you. 
 
 You united elf and dwarf, made good friends of every race 
 
 fuck that, who needs a gun, i'll tap dance coward across your face 
 
 I started my journey alone, and that's how I finished it too 
 
 I'm a Single Action Army, you'll fear my rhymes when I'm through. 
 
 **Aragon** 
 
 Your girl was burnt at the stake, and your other chose Eddie 
 
 does it take Maerlyn's grapefruit to convince a girl to go steady? 
 
 You walk bullets across your hand to brainwash young little boys 
 
 What next, are you gon na make your bumbler your new fuck toy? 
 
 All your friends are gone or dead, left you alone, filled with dread 
 
 bet you regret all that Cort-taught dogma bullshit that you said 
 
 There's no door here for you to use, no Manni todash you can peruse 
 
 You face the best, flame of the west, so which death will you choose? 
 
 **Roland** 
 
 you're in the path of my beam, and like Blaine i'm gaining steam 
 
 you're facing gunslingers, Eldarion, hot bullets, the Eld team 
 
 Keep spitting please, Aragon, in your side I'll be an Arathorn 
 
 Sow you my sword, melted down, then remade in gun form 
 
 This battles said and done, you're in Helm's deep but think you won? 
 
 The only riders here are gunslingers, we ride for you, all said and done. 
 
 Smash your dwarf, gut your elf, fuck your girl, kill your kind 
 
 I do n't need one hand for this because I shoot with my mind.
