[ WP ] Captain Obvious , Sargent Sarcasm , and Admiral Asshole are in a room together

`` Both of you drop and give me two hundred.'' 
 `` I was on leave, and you called me back in so I could do pushups? I'm sorry but that does n't seem very nice or fair.'' 
 `` Really? I do n't have a problem with it at all. I'd just given my wife a hug, patted my kid on the head and was thinking to myself, I'd like to get back on base for a little more punitive train-'' 
 `` You have the right attitude, son. You only have to do a hundred and fifty pushups.'' 
 `` Wow. Thanks. Really takes the sting out of-'' 
 `` One handed.'' 
 `` That's actually going to make it a lot harder.'' 
 `` Were you using your leave to finish out your doctorate?'' 
 `` Why would you think that? My girlfriend and I-'' 
 `` Shut the fuck up. I'm going to balance this coffee on your head, and if you talk, you're going to get burned.'' 
 `` That's going to solve all his problems, I'm sure-'' 
 `` Shut up.'' 
... 
 `` Sir, I'm having a blast, but-'' 
 `` I told you to keep that gaping maw shut. I want to see how long golden boy can avoid saying anything stupid.'' 
 `` Golden? I'm not even -- OH GOD. That coffee was VERY HOT!'' 
 

