[ WP ] It 's your 3rd day being held hostage by a criminal cell , and you 've made friends with one of your captors .

My eyes glaze over as I try and remember how long I'd been on this train for. Igor is in the corner yelling in Russian about vodka, and the other Igor is smoking his way to the bar, probably about to raid the alcohol supply again. I ca n't say I agree with their methods, but I do like alcohol. 
 
 I try and draw on my four years of university Russian, and probably sound like a demented goat asking Igor which way the bathrooms are, again. The rest of my class is probably huddled in fear in their compartments, clutching what possessions we left them. At that moment, I was more concerned with trying not to get piss all over my shoes and the bathroom floor. 
 
 I zip up, wash up and am back in the lounge before big Igor returns with the vodka. Igor, meanwhile, has drawn the curtains and is drinking something he must have had in reserve. I briefly debate just going back to my class and trying to pretend that I never met either of the two gangsters, but instead end up downing a good portion of the bottles big Igor returns with. What can I say? [ I'm the Machine. ] ( https: //www.youtube.com/watch? v=VHfroJBMlVM )
