[ WP ] A hurricane is making landfall in your area . Other than that small detail , tell us about your day

The sky'd been gray for days. Flat clouds that carried no scuds or imperfections. As hours passed, the winds became gales. Trees shrieked and rain blasted the walls of my house. 
 
 For a New Orleanian, this is standard fare for early autumn. I'd gotten a generator or five, and the Internet was stable. For all intents and purposes, this was gon na be just another rainy day for me and my gynoid wife, Dotaton. 
 
 Ca n't say the same for many others, though. You'd think this city'd have learned by now— cats are fiesty-ass motherfuckers, and cat-4s infinitely moreso. I'd never been in a major hurricane before ( save Katrina, but we met when she was a tropical storm ), and I was willing to risk my mortality just to see what it'd be like. 
 Hurricane Jaden stormed through the night and came onshore are four in the morning. Somewhere out there were unlucky bastards who should've gotten outta town. As for me and Dota? Cool Ranch Doritos, Mountain Dew, and a rousing game of Mirror's Edge. 
 
 Dota's a beast at this shit. My best time in the prologue? About six'n a half minutes. She could do it in one and a friggin' half. Friggin fuck is that even possible? Yes it is,'cuz she did it. But cut me some slack, she's a droid. Of course she's gon na be ultrahuman at vidya games. 
 
 Swapped out Mirror's Edge for Halo: Combat Evolved, and she played with herself. She also owned my black ass like Osama Bin Laden. I dunno, you tell me— fragging a person from across the map, that was possible in Halo 1, was it? 
 
 We went back a generation for Perfect Dark. You know there are computer controlled simulants in that game's multiplayer that can kick your ass until you're wearing your asshole like a hat, right? Double that up. Necrosadistic bots alongside an ultraterrestrial wtfthing that could kill me fifty times before I could move my analog stick. 
 
 Somewhere around five AM, I awoke from my stupor and decided to play co-operatively with Dota. You'd think a good game for Dota to play is DOTA, right? Well we did n't. Instead, we had our fun with Saints Row 2. It was around this time that the power went out and immediately switched back on again. 
 
 I asked Dota if there was anything she wanted to do. 
 
 `` You.'' 
 
 `` Well, *besides* me.'' 
 
 Not much of an answer came. So we decided to do each other, in the closet. 
 
 In the middle of our lovemaking, the phone rang. It was none other than Jason Marlowe, dick extraordinaire. The first thing I said was something like, `` Any a' these losers who did n't evacuate callin' for help yet?'' 
 
 `` I just got a call; my mom... *sniiiff* just died in the storm.'' 
 
 I could hear his voice collapse. I let my arm go numb and sat back to the wall. What a mess I just made.
