[ WP ] You live in a small town in Alaska . Nothing signifigant has happend for years . Then Larry arrives .

You know, I could easily start this story with a cliche one-liner, but Larry's story deserves something different. 
 To be honest, though, I'm kind of drunk and the only phrase I can think of about Larry's time here in Clark's Point is this: 
 
 Fucking Larry. 
 
 You see, I've lived in this southern Alaska town of about 60-something people for a few years now. This was my escape from the hustle-and-bustle of my past life in Indiana. 
 Yes, I've heard it before: `` Indiana? TOO busy?'' 
 Well, you do n't know shit, do you? 
 
 I had the American dream... you know, the usual bit -- went to school, found girl, married girl, had kids, found girl using the same mouth she kissed me goodbye that morning on her boss's prick, left girl, lost kids, etc. etc. I moved here to Clark's Point because, well, the image of Teresa and her boss in that shitty Honda Civic I bought her was seared into my head like the remnants of a tree struck by the lightning of God almighty himself. 
 
 Trust me, guy -- coupling something like that with your mid-life crisis is fucking terrible. 
 
 So, I got a little crazy and moved to Alaska. Big deal. 
 
 I happily spent my days fishing in these tiny holes, catching nothing, and living on the money I had built up as an - get this - an NFL ref. You'd think my past job would at least help me get laid *a little bit*, seeing as how I brushed shoulders with the likes of Tom Brady and Peyton Manning but you'd be surprised by how much little of a shit an Eskimo gives about American football ( let alone what the hell an Indianapolis Colt is ). 
 
 I keep digressing, but look: you're obviously new in town and you're going to get shit from every corner of this city if you come in like that asshole Larry did, so consider this your welcoming present from yours truly. 
 
 See that gigantic hole over by the dart board on the other side of the bar? The one kind of shaped like a human head? Well, the blood still stains the edges a bit. That blood is pretty much the only thing left of Larry here in Clark's Point. 
 
 Well, that stain, a kid with his blue eyes & shit-eating grin and the longest criminal record of any man or woman that's walked through the streets of this town. 
 
 ( Might continue later -- back to work )
