[ WP ] Earth is discovered by a peaceful coalition of civilizations . Turns out we missed several major technologies normally developed by now . The aliens are very confused how we got here .

`` Wait, wait,'' he interjected. We generally agreed to call all of our 
 alien visitors `` he'', they did n't really have a specific gender, and 
 the galactic translators they'd given us apparently rendered other 
 pronouns as veiled insults. Still, it felt a bit weird calling the 
 3-foot tall, 5-legged tower of squishy rings _any_ gender, but we 
 dealt. 
 
 `` Wait, wait,'' he said, `` Where is the regulator?'' 
 
 I looked him in the eye -- the xenobilogists assured me these guys have what 
 amounts to eyes, located on the second-from-the-top ring. Apparently 
 the whole thing was an eye! They could see 360 degrees around 
 themselves. 
 
 I looked him in the eye and was about to ask him what he meant 
 he continued, `` You are using **uranium** in this reactor! Where's 
 the regulation lattice?'' he clarified. 
 
 My expression must have confused him, because he repeated himself, 
 much slower, `` The. Regulation. Lattice.'' 
 
 `` I,.. uh. The what?'' I asked. 
 
 At this point, I'd thought I'd seen and experienced most things in 
 life. I mean, I was giving an **alien** a tour of one of our newest 
 nuclear reactors. 5 years ago, I would've told you that aliens were 
 a myth, and I would never have dreamed I'd see the inside of any sort 
 of reactor, much less the world's latest and greatest. I'd come a 
 long way, and I'd seen and done a lot of shit in my life. 
 
 Until now. Now I have seen what a 3-foot tall stack of squish circles 
 that occasionally -- for lack of a better word -- _splurk_ a weird 
 slime that evaporates within seconds from between their rings... well, 
 I've seen what that looks like when it's both terrified and astounded 
 in a single instant. 
 
 He blurted out, `` You do n't even know what that is!'' 
 
 I shrugged and tried to make myself look a little less idiotic, `` I 
 admit, reactor design is n't my background --'' 
 
 `` How to you prevent runaway reactions!'' he ask-shouted at me. 
 
 I knew this one! `` The reactor is designed to constantly pump coolant 
 through the system and distribute any excess heat..'' He interrupted. 
 
 `` Yes, yes, but how do you stop the runaway reactions? Have you 
 created something like the lattice?'' 
 
 I had no idea how to even begin to answer that. I looked behind me 
 to one of the plant scientists that'd been following along silently, 
 in askance. He srugged, indicating he did n't know what the hell this 
 thing was on about. 
 
 I fell back on that old diplomat training, `` I'm sorry, but I just 
 do n't understand what you're asking. Are you asking if melt down is 
 possible?'' 
 
 He paused for a moment, making noises and motions the translator 
 simply translated in a generic system voice as, `` Native profanity. 
 Native profanity. English does not have a concept to represent this 
 notion. Native profanity.'' 
 
 `` This is dangerous! Why are we here!'' finally made it through the din 
 of squawks, juicings, and other juvenile sounds. 
 
 `` This is the safest nuclear plant humanity has ever designed,'' I said, 
 trying to remain both calm and reassuring, `` There is minimal risk of 
 a runaway reaction --'' 
 
 Again he cut me off, ``'Minimal'! We'll all die here! The lattice is 
 supposed to permeate the fuel and control the reaction at the --'' 
 
 Again, the translator used it's generic system voice here and inserted, 
 `` English does not have a concept to represent this notion.'' 
 
 `` -- level,'' he finished. 
 
 Again, I looked over at the scientist, who again shrugged. Apparently, 
 his translator was just as useless. I decided to play the diplomat, 
 `` We do n't really know what you're talking about, but we'd love to 
 learn... perhaps our guys can talk with your guys?'' I asked, nodding 
 toward the scientist that'd been until now silent. 
 
 Our alien friend waggled what appeared to be a giant boob atop his 
 stack of rings, a gesture I'm told is akin to nodding. `` Excellent,'' 
 I said, `` Shall we continue the tour?'' 
 
 `` I would much rather relocate several days travel from this death trap,'' 
 he said. 
 

