[ WP ] You wake up one morning hungover , but happily remember you have half a pizza waiting in the fridge . To your horror you discover that the pizza is missing . In its place a note : `` If you want to see your pizza again ... . '' followed by a list of demands ...

I read the note over and over. 
 
 *Son of a bitch... * 
 
 I crumpled the note and threw it against the wall. Walking to the cabinet, I opened it with a slam against the wall, grabbed a box of cereal, and poured some into a bowl. 
 
 *Two fucking stipulations for living here... * I shouted at the empty house. 
 
 I grabbed the milk from the fridge and poured some in the bowl. 
 
 *Do n't eat my food... * 
 
 I yanked a spoon from the dish drainer, and scooped up a spoonful of captain crunch. 
 
 *And no more practical fucking jokes! * 
 
 I guess today is a day of captain crunch...
