[ WP ] When you die , all the animals you have eaten serve you in the afterlife . You die and find yourself with hundreds of chickens , pigs and cows . Many of which you have to share with the people who ate other parts of the same animal .

`` Oh, hey Ted!'' Gerome said to me. `` Welcome to the afterlife!'' 
 
 Gerome! I had n't seen him in years, since that fateful accident I'd barely survived and, demonstrably, he had n't. But I already knew that. 
 
 `` Hey, Gerome!'' I said, glad to see a friendly face. `` You're giving the tours around here?'' 
 
 `` Just for you, bud! So, you know how I died, but I do n't know about you. How did you end up going out?'' 
 
 I shrugged. `` Slipped in the shower, if you'd believe it. Eighty-three years old.'' It did n't sound like a particularly spectacular death - like, for instance, Gerome's - but I had to imagine it was much more common. Hopefully there would n't be a method-of-death pecking order. 
 
 Speaking of pecking... `` Gerome,'' I asked, `` What's with all these animals?'' 
 
 There'd only been a chicken or two at first, but as we'd talked we were slowly getting mobbed by farm animals. Cows, pigs, I even spotted an ostrich. 
 
 Gerome laughed, `` Oh, that! They're here with you because, in a way, they *are* you. You ate them at some point, so they became a part of you. Thus, they're up here too! They generally hang out and do helpful things.'' 
 
 `` Oh,'' I said, sudden realization hitting me. 
 
 `` What?'' Gerome asked. 
 
 `` N.... nothing. It's nothing.'' I said, hurriedly looking for a way to exit the situation. I was surrounded by animals who looked keenly aware of my need to escape, and were just as keenly preventing it. 
 
 `` Ted,'' Gerome said, `` what are n't you telling me?'' 
 
 `` That whole... hang around and do favors thing... do they *have* to do that?'' 
 
 `` Well, yes,'' Gerome said. `` I mean, the only reason mine are n't with me right now is because I have most of them out on other errands so I could do this favor for...'' he trailed off. 
 
 I did n't say anything. 
 
 `` You're kidding.'' Gerome said. 
 
 I continued to not say anything. 
 
 `` The plane crash that killed me,'' Gerome said. `` How did you survive it?'' 
 
 `` Just lucky, I guess!'' I said nervously. I kept trying to edge away and the animals kept bumping me back toward the conversation. `` You know, picked the right seat on the plane or whatever.'' 
 
 `` I do n't mean the crash itself,'' Gerome said, `` I mean the aftermath. It's a bit hazy for me, but I remember a lot of mountains. A very remote area. How did you survive after the crash?'' 
 
 `` I may have...'' and then I mumbled, `` resorted to cannibalism.'' 
 
 `` You *ate* me!?'' Gerome said. 
 
 `` It was that or die! You know I was an agnostic, I did n't know there'd be a fluffy cloud afterlife full of barnyard animals when I died! I was scared and wanted to live!'' I said. 
 
 `` You ate me!'' Gerome said. 
 
 `` I'm sorry!'' I said. `` I did n't want to, but when it's a matter of survival, well... you do things you'd rather not do.'' 
 
 `` I would n't know,'' Gerome said, `` what with the non-surviving thing. And then getting eaten! Do you have anything else you want to confess before we talk to the *rest* of the people who were on that flight?'' 
 
 `` I was *very* hungry.''
