[ WP ] `` You had ONE job ! '' both Satan and God scream at you .

`` It was n't that bad.'' I say in defense. 
 
 The two look down at me, a dangerous light in both of their eyes. In Satan that was normal but in God... `` Look, the job was harder than you guys thought. I mean-'' 
 
 `` No, it was very easy actually. So easy many men before you resisted the urge.'' God boomed. 
 
 `` I've got to side with gramps here.'' Satan said,'' I've got guys getting their innards eaten out who could have gone about this better.'' 
 
 `` It was just there,'' I retorted,'' I kind of had my back against the wall. It was the best option, the only option. They were going to use theirs anyways.'' 
 
 God put his face in his hands then looked back at me. Somehow his ageless eyes were aged. `` Fifteen men listened to me and did n't press the button. Fifteen! Let me remind you that even during the height of your Cold War they listened to me; just hitting a button and killing most of the world, my creation!'' 
 
 `` Come on, my situation was different. Most of the world wanted me dead. We had drones picking up whole fleets from every country coming to take us over. I had to do something. Not to mention- err never mind.'' 
 
 `` No, I want to hear,'' Satan chimed in,'' What is there not to mention?'' 
 
 `` Well it's nothing now. Really.'' 
 
 `` Hmm, if it's nothing then there is no harm telling.'' 
 
 `` Yeah,'' God said,'' I hate to be the devils advocate but tell us Kimler.'' 
 
 I suck in a breath of air. Shit. `` Well, you see. It had been just around election time and a President who had just protected his country from the world would bring up my chances by a pretty large margin and...'' 
 
 God and Satan just sat in silence. `` I do n't know how my own creation can still disappoint me, even when I know exactly what it is going to do. Satan, ah, Lucifer, can you promise me this one will receive *extra* punishment?'' 
 
 Satan looked at me in disgust,'' You did n't even need to ask.'' 
 

