Earth as we know it is visited by alien life . Upon the landing , a human emerges and says , `` Your species and mine are one in the same . Now it is time to bring you back to the Empire '' . [ WP ]

The thing *flowed* out of the canister and drifted over the ground towards him. It appeared as if a small oil-slick colored like the night sky, myriad twinkling stars included, was sliding closer. Small tendrils periodically reached out from the central *body* and experimentally prodded at the rocks and twigs in its path - they seemed autonomous. 
 
 James, wishing he could take a step back in horror, found himself frozen in an emotion that could only be described as the bastard child of morbid-curiosity and utter horror. He watched, eyes wide, as the thing came to a halt only a few feet before him. For a few moments the surface of the oil-slick sputtered and bubbled, and then bubbled more rapidly. The sound of soft popping and slopping eventually started to form a pattern. He listened, not out as much out of confusion or curiosity, but because he legs were still frozen in fear. *Pop pop-op, slosh-pop, pop-gargle, popopello, Hellop, Hello? * 
 
 He blinked and thought about looking around for the speaker before realizing that the sound of perfectly pronounced British English had come from the creature itself. `` Are...'', was all he managed to say. 
 
 `` *Pop*... I'll wait. ``, the dark puddle said calmly. Confusion was starting to become James' primary emotion for the moment. 
 
 He stuttered, `` Y-you'll... wait? ``, he asked dumbly. 
 
 The creature replied quickly, `` Yes? This is... *pop*, the right language, correct?'' It sloshed around a bit as it'spoke'. 
 
 The fear, rapidly replaced by utter confusion, subsided enough for the man to run a hand nervously through his hair, `` Uhm... Are you British?'' 
 
 The creature vibrated. It made no sound, but he saw the reflection of the moon wiggling softly on it's watery surface. Laughing, perhaps? `` Do I *look* British to you? ``, it replied smoothly. 
 
 `` No... not really. ``, he replied sheepishly. 
 
 `` I am partial to this language, is all. The stereotypes associated with it are often benevolent - This helps with first contact.'' 
 
 `` So, you're an *alien* then? ``, he finally managed to take a single step away from it. The puddle moved a step closer to him in response. 
 
 `` Do I *look* like an alien to you? ``, it gargled. James nodded his head'yes'. 
 
 `` Excellent! Your eyes seem to have evolved correctly after all. Pfft, *British*'', it scoffed and continued a bit too cheerfully, `` I *am* an alien, in fact! Go on, then, ask away.'' 
 
 The man stood for a moment and then replied thoughtfully, `` Why are you here?'' 
 
 `` To take you home.'' 
 
 `` Home?'' 
 
 `` Yes, home.'' 
 
 `` But, this... -'' 
 
 ``... is your home? Not really.'' 
 
 James looked a bit flustered, `` Uh, yes it is, Mr. Alien.'' 
 
 `` Just'Alien' is fine. And, no... It's not. *pop*.'' 
 
 He decided to try the exact same angle again, `` Uh, yes? It is.'' 
 
 The oil slick let out a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and the sound of air escaping out of an inflatable pool toy, `` Nope. ``, it simply said. 
 
 `` Okay, then... This is n't going anywhere fast. ``, he shrugged. 
 
 One entity stood awkwardly in silence. The other sat awkwardly in a puddle on the ground. 
 
 Finally the puddle spoke up. `` Science lesson time! ``, it said happily, `` What is DNA?'' 
 
 James blinked, and not wanting to look silly in front of the alien replied quickly, `` The stuff that makes us *us*.'' 
 
 `` Indeed! And what if I told you that I, too, had DNA? *gargle*'' 
 
 `` Well, that would n't be too weird, right? Life is life.'' 
 
 `` Indeed! And what if I told you that I was your cousin?'' 
 
 The man looked amused, `` Yes, but... You're not.'' 
 
 `` How do you know?'' 
 
 `` My father was an only child.'' 
 
 `` Not *literally*!'' It sounded exasperated, `` We share the same DNA though.'' 
 
 `` We do? ``, he asked skeptically. 
 
 `` Indeed! Your... archaic form was only given to you to assist your survival in the Machi-I-Lauvian plains, er... Sorry, *Africa*. Do you know what we call ourselves?'' 
 
 James smiled, `` Blobs?'' 
 
 `` Rude! No, we call ourselves *humans*. Just like you.'' 
 
 Such information was a bit overwhelming and thus the man took a moment to process, `` You... I... You want to make me look like *you*?'' 
 
 `` Not unless you want. It's optimal, of course. Frictionless, mobile... --'' 
 
 James interuppted, `` --, blobby? No way. So, why are you...'' 
 
 `` Back? Well, that's a bit of a long story... In summary: War.'' 
 
 `` I'm going to need a better explanation than that. ``, he said suspiciously. 
 
 It sighed an airy sigh, `` We almost went extinct. We put some of our kind on this planet, changed their form to assist survival and hiding, and went off on our way to try to survive. Luckily, we won the war. Had we lost? At least we'd continue to *live* in some way or form on Anikeou-I-Laum... err, Earth.'' 
 
 James was a bit startled to found that he accepted this explanation quite easily, `` I see. ``, he said simply. 
 
 `` Well, come on then! You do n't *have* to come - just an option. Lets go a round a few orbits, shall we? Think about it. ``, it bubbled as a person-sized opening appeared at the side of the spherical silver canister. 
 
 `` Well, alright then...'', James said uncertainly and began to follow the sliding, drifting puddle towards the ship.
