[ WP ] you need to convince the worlds most destructive sociopath to help save the world .

`` You need to help us,'' I said, fixing the man across the negotiating table with my sternest expression. 
 
 `` After all these times you've thwarted my efforts?'' General Doom said, stroking his bald cat with his scarred hand. I had given him those scars when I threw him into his own shark pool, in my efforts to stop him from firing his orbital laser. 
 
 I placed the tablet on the table, and turned it on. A video started playing, showing a colossal alien ship hovering above a city, raining down death and destruction. General Doom watched the video clip, with an odd expression in his eyes, an expression halfway between curiosity and excitement. 
 
 `` These aliens wo n't stop at destroying us'good guys''' I said, `` As soon as we're defeated, they will come for you, and they will destroy you. They want humanity extinct.'' 
 
 `` I will help you,'' the General said. 
 
 `` Brilliant!'' I exclaimed, smiling broadly, `` Welcome to the good side, Ge-'' 
 
 General Doom held up his hand, signalling for me to be silent. I closed my mouth, worried. I could n't predict his motives, but all of a sudden I had a very bad feeling about them. 
 
 `` I have one condition,'' General Doom said, leaning forwards across the table. A new expression was on his face, one I had last seen when he demanded a hundred billion dollars from the UN. 
 
 `` And that is?'' I asked, my voice shaking slightly. 
 
 `` I get to keep the ship.'' 
 
 I gasped. I had been a fool for suspecting the General would join us so easily. I should have known he was planning something when he agreed with barely any argument, but in my excitement I had dropped my guard. Now he held the controlling position in the negotiations. He had seen how desperate I was to have him on my side, and that had let him establish his terms. 
 
 `` Deal.'' 
 
 We did n't shake hands. 

