[ WP ] You declare to the heavens that you will never fall in love . Aphrodite herself took it as a challenge .

I had lived through the most stereotypical uni experience. I met her at the fresher ’ s party. We got drunk. Danced. Snogged. And ended the night in her flat. I knew I liked her from the moment we locked eyes. I woke up before her and was looking at her face. I thought to myself, I ’ ll never find anyone as beautiful as her again. She started to move, I pretended to go back to sleep. Didn ’ t want her thinking I was being creepy. She got up and smiled down at me, “ I knew you were staring, it was a little creepy ” she said with laughter in her voice. I still had my eyes shut but started giggling. Yup, she was the one. 
 
 That was 12 years ago. Since then, we ’ d been married and had two children. A boy and a girl. We were living the most typical suburban life imaginable. She worked as a journalist and I was a tax lawyer. It was good and peaceful. 
 
 It was the day before my 30th birthday when we were out shopping for something that I can ’ t even recall. She said she wanted to grab a coffee. I was a little annoyed as we were already late for the baby sitter but she assured me this was important. 
 
 We got into Starbucks. I was about to walk to the counter to order the coffee she always orders, grande soy latte with an extra shot. But she told me to sit down, she was going to get it. As I sat, putting several bags full of purchases I would never use around my seat. I looked at her ordering the coffee and noticed for the first time just how stressed she was looking. She was gently rubbing her temple. That wasn ’ t a good sign. That always meant she was thinking about something she wasn ’ t entirely comfortable with. 
 
 She came back with her drink and had ordered me a caramel macchiato. That wasn ’ t right. I only drank Americanos or espressos. She sat down, not looking at me for a while. Just staring at the coffee lid and breathing. I finally gave in “ what is it? why are you acting weird? ” she looked at me blankly. She cleared her throat and said “ I ’ m going to be direct. I ’ ve been seeing someone else for the past three years. I ’ m in love with him. He ’ s met our kids. And I ’ m thinking…no, I ’ m going to be ” she stopped as a single tear ran down her cheek. I felt like I ’ d been hit on the chest with a baseball bat. I felt winded. I felt a tightness in my chest and arm. I struggled to say anything. She went on “ the kids are with him right now. I ’ m sorry. I ’ m…I ’ m leaving you. I ’ m sorry ” I felt the tears stinging my eyes. I said the only thing I could “ why? ” she was wiping tears from her eyes now. She gave a sarcastic laugh. “ Why? Why do you think? You haven ’ t even noticed that I ’ ve been falling out of love with you for the past five years. After we had Gillian, I ’ ve just not been able to connect with you. I had to take a break from work, while all you did was work. When are you ever home Jack? When are you ever present in the moment. I met him. I started falling for him. I love him and I realised I haven ’ t felt this love with you, ever ”. I felt rage. I felt sorrow. I felt pity. I felt betrayal. It all started going dark. I felt myself slipping from my seat. My chest tightening so much, I couldn ’ t get air in. My lungs burned and my arms felt heavy as lead. I fell to the floor but didn ’ t feel it. I was just aware my view had changed. I was now looking at the lights on the ceiling. I was literally heartbroken. I could barely move my lips. But I was determined to get these words out. I coughed, more than whispered “ never again…I will love…never again ”. 
 
 I didn ’ t know where I was. I felt I was in a dreamlike state. I felt like I was walking on clouds. When I looked down. I realised, I actually was walking on clouds. I didn ’ t know where I was walking towards. But just that I needed to walk forward and up those steps made out of clouds. I was looking around me in wonder. This was truly amazing, but where was I. Was I dead? I felt at peace, so maybe I was. I felt a light shining. It was so bright I had to put my hand up so I could still walk without tripping. 
 
 Then I saw a shape bathed in the light. As I got closer, the shape started to become familiar. It was a woman. With long golden blonde, or wait was it auburn? No, I think she was a brunette. Every ray of light gave her hair a different colour. The closer I got, the larger she became. Until I was standing at the foot of a ten-foot-tall woman. She was wearing a robe with a gold coloured rope as a belt. Or was it a rope made of gold. She looked at me and smiled. I could try describing her beauty, but that would be an offense to just how beautiful she looked. She said “ I hear a lot of people say they ’ ll never love again, but only ever so often does someone mean it from their heart. And even more rare is it for someone to mean it not just for a woman, but for everything in existence ” her breath smelled of roses. It was hard to pay attention to what she was saying. I was fascinated by how stunning she was. Her ruby red lips turned up at the corners just a little bit. She had the kind of lips that you imagine kissing, biting, savouring. I felt too intimidated to make eye contact with her. She continued “ when you reject love with such fervour, you challenge my power. Do you think you ’ re more powerful than the goddess of love? ” I wasn ’ t sure if that was rhetoric or if she meant that. But the way she had her hands on her hips made me think she was waiting for a reply. Even in a simple white robe, I could tell she had an amazing body. Her waist cinching in above her hips. There was a sweet smell, like milk and honey coming from here. Which was strange, even in these circumstances as I had no idea what milk and honey smelled like. I looked down and shook my head. 
 
 She spoke with a booming voice this time “ then take it back and submit to my authority. I ’ ll walk with you on earth and make every woman you desire to fall in love with you. If you seek wrath then break their hearts if you must. If you seek lust, then you can have ten women in the bed with you, to do as you will. You can have anyone. You can even have me. All you have to do is bend down to me, get down on your knee and submit your love to me. Submit your soul ” she took a pause and threw down a gold dagger at my feet “ thrust that in your breast and ay these words aloud. Say that I am you god, I am the god of love and you give yourself to me, recognise no other, reject all else and belong to me, to have and to discard ” 
 
 I looked at the dagger and let her words run my imagination wild. More than the rest she ’ d promised, the most tempting was to have her. There was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that made me think that to have had her, I ’ d never desire anyone else ever again. Just a kiss would be worth the bargain she wanted. But then a flash of memory before my eyes. It was her. My wife. The love I ’ d felt and the pain that had left me here, wherever here was. And the stabbing pain started again. I felt my chest was filled with a current. I saw the faces of my children. My little Gillian and my superstar Daniel. I couldn ’ t submit to this woman. The last woman I said vows to broke me and took my children. The children who ’ d also readily abandoned me for a stranger. I wondered if they were already calling him dad. Another piercing pain in my chest as if someone had jabbed a needle in my heart. Tears were running down my eyes. I held the dagger in my hand and shouted “ NEVER. AGAIN ” and threw the dagger at her with all my might. She screamed in such a high pitch that I had to shut my eyes. The light started blazing from here now. It started bright red, then orange and then pure white. 
 
 I tried opening my eyes but the light was blinding. I wanted to move my hands to cover my eyes again but I couldn ’ t feel my arms. I realised I was on my back. Where was I? it felt like a bed. The sounds around me started to swell. I could hear a lot of people and sound of beeping. There was a rushed discussion all around me. I could hear panic and concern. I tried to force my eyes open and see through the lights. The world slowly spun back into focus. I was on my back. The lights looked like the kind you see in an operating theatre. I tried to move my head but it hurt so much and it felt like it was constricted. I finally started recognising words “ he ’ s coming around ” someone said in a panic. I heard someone shout “ doctor can you please put him back to sleep, I ’ m doing the last sutures ” what the hell was this man talking about. I was still struggling to see, all I could see was white. I heard the doctor, who I was surprised to realise was a female doctor. I could feel her glove covered hand gently stroking mine, she said “ don ’ t worry, we ’ re all looking after you. I just need you to fall back asleep for a few more minutes and then I ’ ll bring you a nice coffee to wake you up with. I ’ ll bring some chocolate croissants as well, they ’ re my favourite. Now, I don ’ t know any lullabies, so you ’ re going to have to just trust me and try to sleep ok ” her voice was s soothing. I felt like I could trust her. So I closed my eyes and felt the clouds forming around me again, I was going back to sleep, but I was also going to go back to her. I felt her lifting her hand from me and would ’ ve grabbed it if I had any strength in my hands. That ’ s when I surprised myself when I managed to grab the tip of her fingers. I heard her say “ well if you insist. I ’ ll sit right here while you have a little nap ok ” she locked her fingers in mine and started to hum something. Whatever it was, was doing the trick. I was slowly back with her.
