[ WP ] While hungrily wasting away over a day of fasting , you find a talking pizza on your kitchen table .

** [ WP ] While hungrily wasting away over a day of fasting, you find a talking pizza on your kitchen table. ** 
 
 “ See, that ’ s what I ’ m sayin ’ the fund-e-mental problem is- ” 
 
 “ You ’ re not listening to me, you ’ ve got ta understand where I ’ m coming from here. ” 
 
 “ Coming from?! You ’ re a pizza! A flippin ’ pizza! You came from bloody Dominoes you silly- “ 
 
 “ Don ’ t you start with this again. My opinion isn ’ t valid because I came from a shop, is that it? What about you? You came from a hospital, what do you know? ” 
 
 “ Alright! Whatever! I ’ m sorry. I don ’ t wan na hear this anymore. ” 
 
 “ Fine. ” 
 
 “ Fine…So… ” 
 
 “ Yeah ” 
 
 I just sort of stand there for a while, looking around the room. 
 
 “ You been up to anything lately? ” 
 
 “ Well… I am a pizza. ” 
 
 “ Right, right. Yeah… So? ” 
 
 “ Yeah, not a lot. ” 
 
 “ Right, ri- ” 
 
 I ’ m interrupted by the familiar jingle of keys in door. I panic for a second, who the hell has the keys to this place? We ’ re both here, we ’ re the only with-oh. Right, yeah. I ’ m talking to the pizza. 
 
 Darren walks through the door with a grey plastic bag strung around his arm. I ’ m trying to act naturally, y ’ know, like I haven ’ t been talking to some pizza for the last couple of hours. 
 Darren makes his way to the table and begins to unpack. The pizza and I share a look. 
 
 “ Alright then? ” 
 
 “ Yeah, thanks. ” 
 
 “ Can ’ t complain ” says the pizza. 
 
 I chuckle to myself, not too loudly or Darren ’ ll think I ’ m mental. God, I probably am mental. 
 
 “ What the fuck? ” 
 
 Darren spins around in confusion. 
 
 “ How you doin ’ then? ” the pizza asks. 
 
 “ Was that the pizza? ” Darren ignores the pizza ’ s question. 
 “ Um, yeah. I guess so ” 
 
 “ Yeah, alright ” 
 
 “ Oh right! Hi, I ’ m a pizza ” says the pizza. 
 
 I cock my head and give the pizza a look. 
 
 The pizza looks back. 
 
 Or, well, I mean it can ’ t look back, it ’ s pizza. 
 
 “ I ’ m gon na have a bit of lie down ” Darren explains ” 
 
 “ Yeah ” I say, my stomach still growling ” 
 
 

