[ WP ] You declare to the heavens that you will never fall in love . Aphrodite herself took it as a challenge .

I ca n't remember exactly when I decided I never wanted to fall in love. It might have been the third or fourth time my parents came to physical blows over something as stupid as who was supposed to feed the fish, or maybe it was when my older sister magically reappeared at our doorstep after running away six months previously. Incredibly pregnant and completely broke, we found out that her genius boyfriend had simultaneously bet *on* the the slowest horses on the track and *against* the motility of his own sperm when unhindered by condoms. He lost both bets, and kicked my sister out of his apartment soon after. Throughout my childhood, these were the people who defined what `` love'' meant to me. I still remember how my mother would kiss the cartoonishly large bump on my father's head that she herself had caused and tell him how she would never do it again. I can still recall word for word the declarations of my sister's undying love that she left every week to her ex's answering machine. It really was fucking pathetic. 
 
 My stellar upbringing resulted in me being completely uninterested in the idea of loving someone or being in a relationship - what was the point of it anyway? I spent my entire childhood reading or playing video games. I ca n't even count how many times someone has asked if I had Asperger's. There's nothing wrong with me, I just hate people. In my experience they've all either been self serving assholes or pathetic assholes serving the self serving assholes. Basically, everyone is a fucking asshole. 
 
 Oh yeah, fast forward twenty two years to the present day - why was *this* fucking asshole staring at me? Standing only a few feet away and surrounded by guys who quite literally stopped in their tracks as they were walking by, she somehow seemed physically brighter than everything else around her. She was completely overdressed for a trip to the mall ( but then again this is 2016 so I was n't even surprised ), wearing a short and tightly fitting red dress that just screamed `` respect me for my intellect''. Her long brown hair swooped majestically around her face with one strand falling perfectly over her hazel eyes, prompting her to lift up a slender hand to push it away every few minutes. 
 
 *Wait.. did I just use the word `` majestically'' and `` perfectly'' in describing a woman? What the hell is going on..* 
 
 She giggled as if she knew exactly what I was thinking and gestured for me to come up to her. 
 
 My legs automatically started moving but I forced them to stop. *Alright she's probably just a prostitute trying to make some money off of the socially awkward man who went to the mall by himself. Just. Walk. Away. * I turned around and headed off in the opposite direction of her - suddenly it felt like I was wading through quicksand. Just as I rounded a corner I stopped dead in my tracks. The same woman was sitting by the fountain, her long legs crossed in such a way that her dress rode up just a little too high. She met my gaze with light hearted indignation, as if she was surprised a man had resisted her charm. She smiled and gestured for me to come over again. Now I really started to panic. Was she trying to distract me while an accomplice robbed me? I frantically checked my pockets to make sure my wallet was still there. When I looked back she was no longer smiling. She seemed almost disappointed in herself, but the look in her eyes scared the absolute shit out of me. Something told me this was a woman nobody ever wanted to piss off. She stood up and walked over to me, casually squeezing between a college aged couple. I swear the poor guy's mouth literally fell open as she passed, and not even his girlfriend shooting daggers from her eyes could get him to look away. As she walked up to me it suddenly got very hard to breathe. 
 
 `` I'm not used to walking up to guys you know, usually they come up to me'' she said. Her voice had a natural rhythm that flowed seamlessly from word to word, it was as if her sentences were dancing with each other. `` I think you're really cute. What's your name?'' 
 
 *Yup, definitely a prostitute* 
 
 I tried to move but my legs were glued to the floor. It was as if they were no longer connected to my own brain, but rather to hers. `` I'm.. uh... K-Kevin'' I managed to stutter. She smiled even wider `` I love that name! I'm Aphrodite'' 
 
 The ridiculous nature of her name suddenly snapped me back to my senses. `` Wow your parents really took a gamble with that name did n't they?'' I said, laughing. `` Imagine if you grew up to look like a giant cow'' 
 
 *Fucking shit man, maybe I DO have Asperger's* 
 
 The entire room became so cold that I could suddenly see my breath. Her eyes flashed red, and she reached over and ran her fingers through my hair. `` I want you to apologize for that'' she said. Her tone had n't changed, but for some reason I completely believed that if I did n't do what she said she could very easily rip my head off. `` I-I'm s-s-sorry!'' I gasped. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. Something about this woman was seriously wrong. `` Be very careful what you say about me'' she whispered. She was just as beautiful as she had been before, but something was different now. She seemed completely inhuman - her face could have been a mask. It was only when I started seeing spots that I realized I still could n't breathe. The last thing I remember before I blacked out is seeing that college kid still staring open mouthed at this woman while his girlfriend walked away crying. Something very strange was going on here.. 
 
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 I only realized that I might have gone too far when his eyes rolled back into his head. Damn it, I really need to keep my temper in check. As soon as I let go, Kevin slumped over and collapsed onto the floor. Pushing the hair out of my eyes, I turned around to see what the damage was - luckily it was almost closing time, and the mall was mostly empty. It did n't seem like anyone else had seem him pass out, except... - ah. That athletic boy was still staring at me, naturally, but I could take care of that quite easily. I walked over and stroked his cheek with my fingers `` You did n't see anything here did you?'' His eyes glazed over `` Absolutely not, ma'am''. 
 
 *Ma'am?? How old does he think I am?? * 
 
 `` Leave this place and forget all of this, sweety'' I said smiling. `` Oh, but go jump into the fountain first'' *Call me `` ma'am'' again, and I'll drown you in it, you little shit* 
 
 With him taken care of, I turned back to look at Kevin. So this was the man who declared he would never fall in love? Ugh, honestly he's doing the world a favor. Hardly 5 feet 8 inches, slightly overweight, and a patchy beard to go with it. Honestly if I had known *this* was what he looked like I never would have taken it upon myself to make him fall in love. And yet... 
 
 I was still trying to understand how he resisted my charm when I first asked him to come closer to me. I suppose there could be some fun in getting him to fall in love. It's been a while since I've found anyone worth pursuing. Who knows? Maybe I'll discover that there's more to people than meets the eye, and that true beauty is on the *inside*. I chuckled to myself. Ugly people really were pathetic in their self validation. Maybe this could end up being fun..
