[ WP ] After Astronaut Capt . Scott Kelly returns to earth following a 340-day stretch at the ISS , NASA receives a distress signal from the ISS ... from Capt . Scott Kelly .

[ Private Correspondence, Please wait until March 10th, 2018, as the official release needs to be sanitized, - Hillary ( at ) enigmail.democrat ] 
 
 
 
 
 The Transcript appears to be between the now deceased Engineer Hyneman and Supervisor Clark, who were promptly murdered by the `` imposter'' Captain Scott Kelly before a military team shot and killed him. We've put all space exploration plans on hold while we decide what to do next. The official story is budget cuts and we're blaming global warming. 
 
 Here's a text copy of the transcript as best as my aides could make it out. 
 
 
 
 `` At first we thought it was an audio glitch sir, like maybe an older broadcast got reflected and sent back to us.'' 
 
 `` Well what did it say?'' 
 
 `` It.. It was Kelly, He was screaming `` IT'' S NOT ME''. 
 
 `` Did you ask Kelly about it?'' 
 
 `` He said it was nothing, just some some archived audio that got scrambled.'' 
 
 `` Okay, then what's the problem.'' 
 
 `` The problem is that the message keeps repeating, and ending with `` I'M STILL UP HERE'' 
 
 `` Are you sure it's not some kind of joke?'' 
 
 A voice is distinctly heard in the background. 
 
 `` I said it was nothing.'' A distinct metal sound is heard over the transmission, as if something has been unsheathed. 
 
 `` Kelly what are you doing in here... What is that.. Is that a knife?'' 
 
 `` Oh GOD, Mr. Clark,'' 
 
 The sound of running is heard, presumably of Engineer Hyneman running to the Biohazard Alarm. 
 
 
 The alarm blares `` REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'' 
 
 
 The sound of gas being pumped into the room is heard, and a security team begins to storm the room. 
 
 `` I WO N'T GO BACK'' 
 
 
 `` OH GOD, WHAT IS THAT THING'' 
 
 The sound of Dr. Hyneman's screaming is muffled, then nothing. 
 
 
 
 
 `` KILL IT, KILL IT'' 
 
 Several gunshots are fired and the sound of an inhuman screech was recorded. 
 
 End Transcript. 
 
 In the end, the creature was killed, but a private inquiry will be necessary as to what other astronauts may have been released onto the planet that may not be real. Capt's Kelly's whereabouts appear to be unknown. We do n't know how he got a transmission out, or how it fooled all of our biohazard detection systems. I strongly suggest not releasing this to the press until we have an `` official'' story. The object the creature used is under lock and key, and resembles a blade but is made of a metal non-native to earth, which explains why it got past our security systems. We were n't looking for it. Also we're not sure why `` Kelly'' did n't want to go back. A part of me wonders if it was trying to infiltrate, or if it was trying to hide. 
 
 Thanks. 
 
 P. S: Could someone tail Bill to make sure his `` nightly outings'' do n't end up in the news. 
 
 P. S. S: Do n't leak this to the press, the last thing we need is Glenn Beck claiming I'm an Alien imposter. 
 
 
 
 
 

