[ WP ] You summon the Dark One . She 's a lot perkier than you expected .

`` You're... pink.'' The man spoke with the same careful enunciation as that of a child using a swear word. 
 
 `` Yup! Like bubble gum!'' the Dark One grinned and blew a large bubble. At the summoner's blank look, she pointed at it, her glitter-coated rings sparkling in the dank cavern. Her brilliantly pink skin combined with her blond pixie cut, 5 foot tall frame, and `` I [ sparkly heart ] Unicorns'' T-shirt, would have looked at home in a bounce house. 
 
 `` Bubble gum,'' the summoner repeated. His hands, red from the required goat's blood, loosened around his AK-47. 
 
 *Pop! * `` Yup! Or cotton candy.'' She fluffed her tutu. `` So, what's up?'' 
 
 `` Cotton --'' 
 
 `` I said that already, silly.'' The Dark One's slapped him playfully, never loosing her grin even when he flinched away. `` Really, what's up? I've got a mani-pedi scheduled in an hour and my girl's got the *best* gossip in the Underworld. I'd just die if I missed it.'' 
 
 `` But you're...'' 
 
 `` Immortal, I know, but seriously. It'd be totally like dying. I'd know. I'm, like, kinda an expert, you know?'' 
 
 The question bounced back and forth in the cavern as the summoner tried to process. 
 
 `` Pink.'' He repeated. 
 
 `` Yup!'' 
 
 `` I thought you would be...'' 
 
 She cocked her head sideways, her silver earrings glittering. 
 
 ``... dark?'' 
 
 `` Boring! Besides, tans are *so* not my thing. Skin cancer, anyone?'' 
 
 `` Are n't you immortal?'' 
 
 The Dark One giggled and tossed her hair. `` Of course! But cancer is totally cruel. I do n't want people getting it!'' 
 
 `` Um, of course not.'' 
 
 `` I mean, if someone's going to die it should be by a proper mauling.'' 
 
 `` Of cour -- wait, what?'' 
 
 `` Or decapitation. Maybe disembowelment. Crushing or burning can be totes amazeballs too. Cancer is just, like, a fad or something.'' 
 
 ``...'' 
 
 `` Ugh, look at me, rattling on about cancer.'' The Dark One rolled her eyes, then said, half-singing, `` What can I help you with? Assassination? War? Armageddon?'' 
 
 The summoner could find no words. 
 
 `` I'd prefer not Armageddon. It's fun and all, but I chipped a nail last time.'' 
 
 `` You've *done* Armageddon?'' 
 
 `` Six or seven times.'' She shrugged. `` Got my name out there, you know? I was in my goth stage though, so, it was more my nickname.'' 
 
 ``'The Dark One?''' 
 
 `` Yup. Guess I'd be'the pink one' now!'' 
 
 The summoner eyed her and nodded. `` You, um, *are* still in the same business though?'' 
 
 `` Oh yes! It's like, the *best*.'' She beamed at him. `` I have to keep the nickname though, ya know? You humans are a bit obsessed with color symbolism, and I'd probably only get called for boring things, like minor hangings or something if peps started calling me the Pink One.'' 
 
 `` That'd be,'' he fingered his gun then ventured, `` unfortunate?'' 
 
 `` Like gaining ten pounds! No, wanton mass destruction is more my thing.'' She straightened her tutu and smoothed a wrinkle out of the unicorn t-shirt. `` So, for reals, what continent are we decimating today?''
