[ EU ] You are an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D , tasked by agent Coulson to track down an anomalous being who has been spotted near every major super being over the past few years . This being appears to be an older white male who goes by the alias `` Stan Lee '' .

This was it. 
 
 I'd been tracking him for... how long? Five months? Six? Seven, even? 
 
 The days had blurred by - sometimes, it seemed as if nothing happened at all between sightings. 
 
 Nobody had noticed. He'd always flawlessly impersonated one person or another. 
 
 Nobody, that is, except Coulson and I. 
 
 There. 
 
 `` Freeze!'' I drew my sidearm. The gray-haired figure stopped in his tracks. 
 
 `` Need something?'' He turned slowly. 
 
 It was him. I thumbed my comms, signaling for the agents to come bring Lee in. 
 
 `` You're coming with me.'' 
 
 `` Excuse me?'' 
 
 `` How do you do it? What are you? Who are you?'' 
 
 `` I'm Stan Lee.'' 
 
 Something was wrong. Backup should have arrived by now. I backed up a step- and bumped into Stan Lee. Next to him stood Stan Lee. 
 
 `` What the fuck?'' 
 
 `` Have n't you heard? [ Stan Lee is everywhere. ] ( https: //s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/09/f4/4a/09f44a909b6b64c1d76e72f1b89e8d79.jpg )'' 
 
 Clarity. 
 
 My barber was Stan Lee. My sixth grade teacher was Stan Lee. The police officer down the street was Stan Lee. The guys in the office were Stan Lee. My team was Stan Lee. My dog was Stan Lee. 
 
 I pulled the trigger, but my weapon did n't fire. My handgun was Stan Lee. 
 
 I looked down. 
 
 My pants were Stan Lee. 
 
 I opened my mouth to scream. 
 
 But there was no air. 
 
 Only Stan Lee. 

