( WP ) It 's January 2015 . You 're a history teacher , making you fully versed in man 's tendency to commit atrocious acts . You 've lived your life mostly playing on the side and avoiding risks . When you die , you realize you 're the first soul ever to land in hell .

Satan looked just as confused as I felt, his sharpening of his horns interrupted by my rapid descent into the domain of pain and torment. 
 `` How did you get here?'' He asked, his voice oddly clear for someone that spent so much time underground. 
 `` I died'', I responded intelligently, beginning to get my bearings on my location. 
 Satan was n't impressed,'' No shit you died, I mean how did you end up in Hell?''. 
 `` I died, then the angel judge told me I did n't have enough noble actions to go to heaven, so I was sent here.''. 
 Satan sputtered, his face turning a further shade of red, `` Not Enough noble actions??? They count any action you did that was mildly notable for anyone as noble!''. 
 `` Really?'' I asked as I began to look around, trying to see anyone else, who might be here, the area was a wasteland. 
 `` Did n't you do anything in your life that was worth notice?'' Satan asked, seemingly startled by the idea of this mans arrival, `` Held the door for someone?'' `` No'' `` Helped pick up things someone dropped?'' `` No'' `` Helped someone in anyway?'' `` Not really...''. 
 
 Satan just stared at the man, not believing what he was seeing. `` Why are n't there more people here? ``, asked the Historian, looking around. `` They moved up to Pergatory, and then on to Heaven.'' He answered, waving his hands dismissively. ``... Well how do I do that?'' 
 `` You need to feel remorse for your sins.'' 
 `` Ok... So what are my sins?'' 
 Satan looked at him, then seemed to roll his black and red eyes. `` You do n't have any.'' 
 `` I beg your pardon'' 
 `` You do n't have any sins.'' 
 `` So should n't I then go to heaven?'' 
 `` You do n't have enough enough Noble Actions to do that either.'' 
 `` If I ca n't go to heaven, then what can I do?'' 
 `` Your going to stay with me.'' 
 `` But I did n't do anything! I should n't have to stay and be tortured by you for nothing!'' 
 Satan looked down, and groaned, 
 `` I ca n't torture you either.'' 
 `` What?'' 
 `` I torture people based on what they've done... And with you not doing anything of not in your life...'' 
 `` Oh....'' 
 The two men stared at eachother, in the middle of a wasteland, for several minutes, before the the Teacher asked, 
 `` Do you have Solitare?'' 
 `` No. ``.
