[ WP ] : You are a local organic non gmo human blood farmer trying to sell your wares at the Portland Vampire farmer 's market .

I started with this idea to get to the roots of what it truly means to be a vampire. In the hustle and bustle of the modern life, it is easy to forget where our food comes from. It ’ s just popped from a bottle now, like some processed food product that does nothing more than keep us from starving. We don ’ t know where it comes from. We barely know what it is. It has no taste to it. It has no gravity. It doesn ’ t awaken our senses. It doesn ’ t enliven our joy. And we ’ ve gotten so used to it, we expect it. We never challenge it, or if we do, we never have the time to do anything about it. 
 
 We accept the status quo, and we forget what it was that we once had all those years ago. 
 
 I think everyone remembers his or her first. For me, her name was Mary; she was a family friend. She was twenty-three years old with alabaster skin that stood taut beneath my teeth. She smelt of pine and the Sierras. She tasted of it. 
 
 If I close my eyes, I can just draw the ghost of her onto my tongue, and it proves to me what we are all missing now. It speaks to me of what blood can be, of who blood is. 
 
 I think we sometimes forget that every draw of blood has a story, especially as those industrial amalgams have become so popular. Yet, even in those, that blood came from someone who lived and breathe and died. They are stories, if scrambled, diluted, and polluted. 
 
 What I have here though—these are novels. While some may see this cooler full of blood and think it only the crude viscera of the deceased, I see it is a library, full of wonders ready to be explored. 
 
 For example, this, this beauty was Nathanael. He was a software engineer with a Masters in French Literature. He composed poetry and would spend hours every week riding his bicycle. He had a pet bulldog named Napoleonette that he would share his meals with. 
 
 I would like to add that I found Napoleonette a home after dear Nathanael was humanely slaughtered. I am attentive to these compassionate details, and I think it shows. There is something distinct when one processes blood humanely. The blood is lighter and brighter for it. 
 
 Here, I will show you. Have a taste, but smell first. You can almost taste the salt of his sweat, see the words and numbers that flowed through his veins. It ’ s pungent and forthright, is it not? It ’ s a strong flavor, to be sure, but single origin blood is known for its unique flavor profile. It fills the palate more, and gives a greater feeling of satiety. Such is the boon of quality that makes up for quantity, which I believe my price points reflect. 
 
 But wait, I will show you my newest collection, what I have been working on for months and that I am very proud of. This is my new line of not only local, free-range, organic, GMO-free blood, but also vegetarian. 
 
 I know what you are thinking, but it is real human blood from real human veins. However, no humans were killed. Instead, donations were taken while they slept and under a natural analgesic, unaware that anyone was at their bedsides. It takes time to retrieve quarts this way, but you ’ ll notice the difference immediately. This flavor profile is far worth the effort and premium. 
 
 Here, might I introduce you to Vanessa? She is a ballet dancer, just sixteen. One sip, and you can taste the music. You can feel Tchaikovsky thrumming across your tongue. Can you see her, twirling en pointe, that bright spark of fire? She is a virgin, as you might notice. She has such a clear, clean high bouquet, with bright, lively undertones. They pirouette and pas de bourree across the palate. 
 
 And all of this without affecting Miss Vanessa ’ s dancing career. Remarkable, no? You can take Vanessa with you, and if you come back in a few months, I ’ ll have more of Vanessa to provide. That is the wonder of vegetarian blood, and I think you ’ ll find that an ounce of Vanessa if worth far more than a gallon of industrial blood, although similarly priced. 
 
 And, I can see you are still considering, so may I ask you to ask yourself, “ How much is a life worth? ” 
 
 I accept both cash and credit.
