[ WP ] The Apocalypse has come , several of them actually . They do n't get along .

Fire and Ice hovered in their spots above Earth, bickering as usual. 
 
 `` Look at how many people favor me!'' Fire said, giving Ice a hard shove. `` Just find your own planet, I've got dibs on this one.'' 
 
 Ice stared back angrily. `` I'm also great! I'm definitely sufficient enough to destroy the planet. And look at how many fans I have.'' 
 
 Fire looked down upon the Earth, dismayed by the sheer number of people that thought destruction ice would be `` great''. Every day, the people of the planet gathered to watch Fire and Ice's arguments, and wonder if this would finally be the day that one of the entities did them in. The uniform on Earth had been reduced to two possible garments: a red T shirt and pair of athletic shorts with `` Team Fire'' emblazoned across the chest, and a light blue T shirt/athletic short combo that read `` Team Ice''. Their numbers were almost exactly equal. 
 
 `` How about this,'' Ice said, once Fire had calmed down a bit. `` We'll go down to Earth and put it to a vote among the people. Whoever wins gets to destroy the planet.'' 
 
 `` We've already tried that, twice,'' Fire said, `` The votes came out exactly 50/50.'' 
 
 `` Yeah, you're right...'' Ice thought for a second. `` You know, the idea of destroying the planet is fun and all, but I really miss my wife and kids. We've been here what, 10 years?'' 
 
 Fire nodded. `` Yeah, you're right. How about this; Rock Paper Scissors. Best 3 out of 5.'' 
 
 `` Deal.'' 
 ________________________________________________________________ 
 
 Rachel woke to her alarm and checked her phone. She had two text messages; one from the government and one from Brittany. 
 
 The government's text was automated, and came at the same time as it had every day before. Today, Rachel was on `` Team Fire.'' She rolled out of bed and picked one of her five red T shirts and a pair of red shorts. 
 
 The uniform had been a bit upsetting when it was first announced. Her wardrobe had been consolidated to just the red and blue uniforms, which had made fashion a bit of a challenge. But in a way, it had become nice to not have to pick something to wear every morning. It was one less decision to make, and as long as it kept the gods arguing, it would delay the apocalypse. 
 
 The uniform was also great for the weather. Since the gods began their feud, the weather across Earth had been 78 degrees everyday. The sea level had risen to engulf a significant portion of the Earth's land and coastal cities, and the overwhelming majority of the planet's plants and animals had gone extinct. The people of Earth agreed that this was a huge bummer, but much more palatable than the destruction of the entire planet. 
 
 With her uniform on, Rachel checked her text from Brittany. `` Turn on Apocalypse Later, it's so good today.'' 
 
 Rachel clicked on her TV and turned to channel 1. Fire and Ice were shouting at each other, as they usually did. Rachel rolled her eyes. 
 
 At the best of times, Apocalypse Later reminded Rachel of The Truman Show, a movie she had loved before humanity had turned their full attention to Fire and Ice. Like Truman, Fire and Ice's daily lives were broadcast 24/7, on a six hour delay. At times, the show was entertaining, and at others profoundly beautiful, but it usually just devolved into trashy reality TV. 
 
 Ice was entering the confessional, barely containing his laughter. `` I just used Fire's toothbrush to clean the toilet,'' he said, beaming. `` She's going to leave after that, I just know it.'' 
 
 Rachel flicked off the TV. She'd already had enough of the gods antics. After eating breakfast, she opened the front door to begin her walk to work, and was met by a gust of wind and heavy snow. Panicked, she looked up to the sky. 
 
 Fire was gone. 
 
 Rachel screamed, and ran back inside her house. She turned on the TV to see that Apocalypse Later had been interrupted by a news broadcast. 
 
 `` We repeat,'' the anchor said solemnly. `` NASA has confirmed that a shuttle is being launched right now, with a new toothbrush for Fire. There is currently no word on whether the deity will return.'' 
 
 Rachel watched the TV with her mouth agape. She prayed the shuttle would not be too late.
