[ WP ] You are stranded on a deserted island all by yourself for years , when you get rescued . You express your surprise that people are still looking for you after all this time , when one of the rescuers says that you 've only been gone for three days .

I slowly gained consciousness and realized I had slept on the beach. I was lying face down in wet sand and occasionally a gentle tide came and splashed by my feet. Feeling disconcerted and as stiff-limbed as a marionette, I sat up and looked ahead of me. The trees close to the shore swayed in an early morning breeze, leaves rustling and whispering unintelligible words, and I was instantly reminded of dancing island women, skirts of grass long and flowy, hips circling hypnotically. After I'd taken my daily dose of the bitter leaves yesterday evening, I could have sworn that, before passing out on this very spot, I'd been watching a lively show of dancing island women. 
 
 I stood up, shivering and wet, and made my way to my tent erected at the heart of the island. The sun was steadily rising, the sky was as pink as a pig. I trudged through the trees, mosquitos and flies rising up in angry buzzing, the ground soggy and slippery, sweet-smelling leaves sliding past my face. A pair of crabs were engaged in battle on a rock under a genip tree, and, with the indifference of a hunter, I picked them up both in separate hands, smashed them against the genip tree, and, just like that, I had free, uncooked breakfast. 
 
 My tent stood in a small clearing where the ground was a bit dryer than the rest of the island because the trees made an excellent canopy above. Inside my tent, there was a strong smell of sweat and of the bitter leaves. A bunch of the leaves, light green and spiky, were tucked under my pillow, and I was due to take another dose of them immediately after sunset. 
 
 I had been here for, what... 4 years? That seemed like a lot of time, but honestly I had n't really felt it. Felt like 7 months. I had to admit, the leaves made being lost and lonely and hungry bearable. Much stronger than weed, they also had great health benefits: for one thing I was n't getting migraines anymore, and I was feeling a strange peacefulness, both mentally and physically. 
 
 I made a fire. The crabs tasted rather good with salt. Wish I had paprika, though. 
 
 *** 
 
 It was midday, sky was a spotless blue, sun as sharp as daggers, and I was sitting on the beach, absent-minded and thinking of getting high earlier than usual, when I noticed something in the distance. A boat. I stood up in a stagger, hardly able to believe it. I squinted and shook my head thoroughly, and the boat was still there. There was no need to shout, the boat was headed straight for me. 
 
 It was a small boat, a yacht. I recognized it. It was *my* yacht. And then I saw Sam and Jamal and Okono, pointing towards me, shouting something, my name, *Vic! *, *Vic! *, and I was amazed because I'd forgotten I had a name. 
 
 *** 
 
 `` Oh, my - `` Okono wrinkled his nose, and took a step away from me, but his dark hand was still on my shoulder. `` You smell. But that does n't matter right? Right?! Dude, we thought you were dead. We almost called off the search, but for some reason, Jamal thought there was one place we did n't look.'' 
 
 `` Hey, Vic?'' Jamal uncorked a wine bottle, poured some of the stuff in a glass and handed it to me with an air of giving medicine to someone by their deathbed. We were in the bar, the quiet atmosphere of thick carpet and bottled drinks, the smell of teak wood and the sound of my friends voices almost moving me to tears. Jamal was pointing to Okono and Sam with mock accusation. `` Hey, Vic? These two guys? Not your homeboys. *I'm* your real homeboy, Vic.'' 
 
 `` Jamal's the real MVP, though,'' said Sam solemnly, downing a glass of whiskey. `` We thought: nah, there's no way Vic's still alive right now. Probably hypothermia or something. Or maybe a shark. Jamal keeps insisting and we're like: dude, we looked everywhere. But you know how persistent he can be.'' 
 
 `` Wow.'' I shook my head and this time the tears actually fell. `` You kept looking for me after four years?'' 
 
 Okono's glass clinked against the wine bottle. `` Huh?'' 
 
 `` It's been about four years, right?'' I said and their looks of confusion baffled me. `` Since I've been missing...?'' 
 
 `` Uh,'' Okono said uncertainly, glancing at Sam. `` You feeling alright?'' 
 
 `` Well, no, he's just been missing for 3 days, course he's not okay, fool.'' 
 
 `` 3 days?'' I said incredulously. The wine was making everything a bit woozy around the edges and I was slightly beginning to lose focus of the other 3. `` No, no. I'm sure its been longer than that.'' 
 
 They all exchanged looks and for some reason, I was beginning to feel angry. Jamal, maybe realizing the extent to which I'd suffered, said in a careful voice one might use to speak to a child with a temper, `` Ok, why do n't you lie down for a bit, ok? The port town is two hour away from here, once we get there we'll take you to the doctors, right? Right?'' 
 
 `` I...'' I was about to rage at them, to throw my glass at the wall, but I then caught myself and backed down. Suddenly a wave of fatigue rippled through me and I nodded to show that I was n't mad or anything and then they helped me settle my stiff body into a sofa near the exit. My eyes were closed, and I was about to fall headlong into a troubled sleep when it suddenly hit me. 
 
 `` Yo!'' I shouted. `` Come around me, quick!'' 
 
 `` What? What is it?'' They shuffled around me, looking concerned. 
 
 `` I found...'' I sat up slowly and faced them. `` I found something on the island. These leaves.'' 
 
 `` Leaves?'' 
 
 `` Yes, leaves and I ground them up on a rock and ate them and I got high as hell. And not weed-kinda high. Like higher than that, more intense and I'd laugh real, real loud like I was crazy and shit. Maybe that's why I thought... 4 years.'' 
 
 `` Ok?'' 
 
 `` Do n't you realize the money we could make?'' I said. `` If we somehow introduced this to the market? Plus it's got health benefits. My migraines and shit stopped coming. We could introduce this to the medical and recreational market.'' 
 
 There was a pause, and then Sam said, `` Where are these leaves? On the island?'' 
 
 `` Yes,'' I said. 
 
 `` Damn,'' said Jamal. `` If that shit makes you high enough to think you were lost for four years when you were lost for three days? That's got ta be some strong shit.'' 
 
 We all laughed hard, and by the time we were done I was actually clutching my side. 
 
 `` Then turn this motherfucker round, then,'' said Okono, and he left the room to do just that. 
 
 
 
 
 
 

