[ WP ] Everyone has a guardian angel , you are the only one who has a guardian demon .

I should have known something was different a lot earlier in life. It was n't like I was immune to tragedy or horribleness, but nothing was really ever *that bad*. I'd always just thought of myself as lucky. Really lucky. 
 
 That one time there was a shooting at my high school, as example. My alarm did n't go off, and I was an hour late. As I rushed to school, I was stopped by police and had the present situation explained. A few steps behind the officer was a rather attractive sunkissed officer, her figure just perfect. She winked at me before walking off. 
 
 Then there was that catastrophic accident on I-10 involving several chemical and fuel trucks. Me? I was stuck in a fender bender at an on-ramp. Some glitch happened with the lights, and three other people and me wound up crunching together at low speed mid-intersection. I could have sworn there was something familiar about the city engineer working on the light box. That same sunkissed skin, perfect figure, and she winked when she saw me looking. 
 
 The pattern continued throughout my life. Small inconveniences or minor incidents preventing me from becoming a statistic in some study on traffic, violence or freak accidents. There was always that same familiar sunkissed woman, too. I never really noticed that she always showed up, and never seemed to age, until I had made a series of unfortunate decisions that put me in Iraq as an enlisted man. 
 
 My unit was on patrol, attempting to help local authorities curtail an antiquities black market some suspected insurgents were running. Then I was hit by a police truck. Hit might be an exaggeration, I was tapped just hard enough to send me sailing forward face first into the dust. I was busy swearing up a storm as I stood when someone exited the truck. That same sunkissed woman! She winked and strolled off. 
 
 Then the firefight kicked off with a bang. Sometimes the insurgents got the better of us, and this was one of those times. In the rather hectic withdraw my unit made, I wound up separated and utterly lost. It was getting dark, and I chose to hunker down in some ruins and try to get my bearings. 
 
 `` You're a wily one.'' A honey-like voice said that seemed to come from all around me. 
 
 Next I knew, a silhouetted figure hopped down next to me. It made me jump so badly, I fumbled and bobbled my weapon like I was trying to catch a buttered football. When I finally got control of it and had it pointed the right direction, that same sunkissed woman was laughing hysterically. Laughing so much her clothing kept changing- from a local police uniform to a civil engineer to something that looked ancient Egyptian, so far as I could tell. 
 
 `` You've been fun to protect. You've been the most fun I've had in eons. Since I stole those tablets!'' She offered a drunken half smile, `` Do n't worry. No one can see you right now. Welcome to my home!'' She hopped to her feet and stretched her arms out. 
 
 I must have looked more shocked and confused than I thought. After more amused laughter, she introduced herself as Inanna, one time Mesopotamian war goddess. I received a very intense lecture about the difference between a fallen goddess and a casual, hum-drum demon when I made a snide comment about being dead and hallucinating a demon. 
 
 That was how I found out all people have guardian angels except me. I have a guardian demon-goddess-thing who does n't like to play by the hands-off rules of `` those lesser divine beings''. She was told she got to interact with humanity again if she served as a guardian, and there was no way her charge was going to die from silly things like accidents, random chance or old age. 
 
 I'm still not sure how I feel about that last part.
