[ WP ] `` It 's just the rain ''

I wish I could help him, I so desperately do. It breaks heart, my soul, whenever he's like this. Sometimes I can get through to him; but mostly it's a whirlwind of frustration and anguish. There's nothing more painful than the feeling of being unable to help someone right in front of you. 
 
 `` AhhhhHHHHHhhHHHHH!!'' he screams. 
 *^shit! * `` Darren! Darren honey, sweetie, no it's ok!'' I yell to him from downstairs, running then skipping steps my way up to him. 
 `` AAaaaaaaAAAAAhhhhhhhHHHHH!!!!'' he shrieks even more, deep but high, terribly, like a baby witnessing a monster tear its family apart. 
 `` Darren, Darren listen to me, listen to -- -Dar -- Darren!'' I plead as I get between him and the window. 
 `` DARREN IT'S JUST THE RAIN!'' I yell, my last chance to get to his core. 
 `` NnnoooOOo!! No no no no, please oh God why, no, please G-God whyyyy!!!'' he screams, flooding his entirety vocally at me but through me to the rain. 
 
 It's too late; he's gone. I watch my husband break down, sobbing the bedsheets soaked. 
 
 Once again he is triggered by the rain. Once again he is mentally forced to relive his time over seas. He is replaying the most horrendous thing a person can see. 
 
 While most people look forward to some rain, and the wet beautiful landscape it leaves behind, my husband plays back when his entire fleet was destroyed, except for him, after a torrential rainstorm cleared away. I ca n't, and do not ever want to imagine what he witnessed. But I know it was tragic enough to still affect him 8 years later... 
 
 A few times it is just the rain, and he gets that and it's a happy day to have him be here, in the now. 
 
 But too often it is not just the rain- it is much more than that. And there's nothing I can do.
