[ WP ] You ’ re a supervillain who really just enjoys ruining people 's days . Summon rain on people sitting in the park , waking people up at 3AM using your sonic booms while flying through the air , stuff like that . You ’ re on holiday when a real villain decides to take your city hostage ... You 're furious .

`` The situation is Dire. And you will all fall.'' 
 
 I saw the broadcast. Hard not to. Every screen in Western Europe spontaneously was connected to a video feed. CRT monitors, LCD TVs, even old Gameboys showed a pixellated depiction of the greatest threat to human life since the Xiel invasion of 1989. 
 
 His goals were elegant in their simplicity. 
 
 The destruction of all who dared oppose him. Dire sought no riches, nor conquest, though he had both. 
 
 Doctor Dire wanted humanity to beat him. To always get better. To fight and fight until either he stood upon the ashes of a dead world, or we had condemned him to the fate of every other S-class supervillain. To quietly'disappear'. 
 
 Dire's threats were nothing new. 
 
 But the destruction of cities that resisted, with waves of microscopic robots, grey clouds of death, that stripped apart the raw materials to be delivered by drone to Direburg, a colossal floating city in the shape of Dire's skull-like face... 
 
 That was new. 
 
 -- - 
 
 My own city surrendered. The sheer superior firepower that bore down upon Bangor was a sight to behold. The mayor went out, her medalipns shining in the dawn light, and after a ten minute presentation of the way Caenarfon was reduced into a volcanic-like waste of ash... The city surendered, and in payment for our eternal service to Dire, we gained walls of the same material as the Direburg, and android'security officers' guarding our streets, each one bearing the menacing face of Dire. 
 
 People resisted, or spoke out against the oppression. Some say that on a warm day, when the winds of the Snowdonia mountain range blows just right, you're breathing in the ashes that once were your grandmother. 
 
 As a supervillain... My loyalties were torn. Dire had always done right by those who supported her rule. And her lands were peaceful. Unless you offended Dire or someone she cared about. 
 
 
 She never came in person. Our land was n't that honoured to get her to conquer in person. 
 
 After we were dominated by her forces, I changed tact. 
 
 Before Dire lay claim to us all, I mostly just did crimes for shits and giggles. Awoke people at night with sonic blasts. Painted City Hall pink. Trolled the student population by making the halls disappear into a pocket dimension. 
 
 These activities continued. 
 
 I awoke people at night with sonic blasts with no correlation to death squad movements, no sir-ee. 
 
 I painted buildings that may have been Direbot manufacturing facilities images of a unicorn wizard riding a demon into battle, as suspiciously Dire-like skull monsters crashed to the Earth. 
 
 I made people who of course I had no knowledge were on Dire's list of enemies to Dire disappear into stasis pods in a pocket dimension, totally never to be released even if Dire should one day be foiled. 
 
 Because a smart supervillain does n't shit where he eats. 
 
 I like life. I like the world. It has my stuff in it. 
 
 And that is why I will never openly oppose the will of Dire. 
 
 The situation is n't that Dire, after all.
