[ WP ] The Healer

I knew if I did it even once more it could be the end of me. I would cease to exist, no longer be here, hasta luego, see you later alligator. But she was my sister, jesus christ, she was my own flesh and blood. It made me think back to when I helped that old lady with cancer, she died a few days later from a heart attack anyway... How many years could I have given to other people instead? 
 
 It's a funny philosophical question to think about, who would you save? How much would you be willing to give up? Well... funny until you do have the choice. I found out I had this... gift? Ability?... curse when I was 6 and the family cat was hit by a car. I was told to say goodbye, I could remember he was stiff and cold, but as I wished him back to life with a childish naivety, his eyes opened, his body began to move. 
 
 My parents knew there was something different about me from then and told me to never tell anyone else. But how could you have such a wonderful gift and not share it? Abigail was lay in the hospital bed, she'd overdosed on painkillers... I guess she could never deal with me being the prodigal child. I felt anger, sadness and more than anything, guilt. This was my fault and I had a choice to make. Looking back now it was easy, she was my sister, I would rather not live than live without her so after a long talk with my parents they agreed. I had to do it. 
 
 I held her soft hands tightly, I wished her well. Felt the life run out of me and into her. The last thing I remembered was her eyes open and then darkness enveloped me. I managed to write this using the flickering of my eyelids, that, chewing and moving my pinkie finger is all I can use anymore. 
 
 Mom, Dad and Abigail come and visit me most days but this is no life, I miss the feeling of the sun on my face, the feeling of rain pouring, and most of all helping people, you see, that went with all of my movement. But I did the right thing, we're always taught to help people, to put others needs in front of ours... but was it too much this time? Was it too much? It does n't matter anyway, I plan to bite my tongue until I bleed to death tonight and wish that someone find this so they at least know my story. 
 
 Mom, Dad, I love you so much. Abigail, do n't feel guilty, I did it because I wanted to. I love you. I'm sorry. Goodbye. 
 
 ( This is my first attempt and I'm not very good so I will appreciate any criticism you can give, thanks! )
