[ WP ] After one full year of planning , media hype , charity deals , and legal paperwork you and your morning radio co-host are finally ready . You two will have an official duel with pistols . Only , on the eve of the big match , you realize you simply can not go through with this .

`` What the hell is this?'' I shouted, waving the ( not loaded ) Glock around angrily. 
 
 `` Uh, it's your pistol, Chris. You know... for your pistol duel? The one you've been scheduling for an entire year?'' my lawyer said hesitantly. 
 
 `` NO! NO! This is unacceptable!'' I ranted. `` How the hell is this an appropriate pistol for a pistol duel? Have you ever seen a pistol duel? Nobody uses a freaking modern pistol! You use a flintlock pistol, or a six shooter, or some old timey gun! Not this new age piece of crap!'' 
 
 My lawyer ran his hand through his hair nervously. `` Well, you see... the insurance companies were only willing to sign off on modern guns. They did n't like the idea of older guns.'' 
 
 That was the last straw. `` Are you kidding me? You've been working on the paperwork for an entire year, and you could n't get me any other pistol other than this?'' 
 
 `` That would take... three more years.'' 
 
 I fired him. 
 
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