[ WP ] Earth is discovered by a peaceful coalition of civilizations . Turns out we missed several major technologies normally developed by now . The aliens are very confused how we got here .

`` You mean... like... farts? They built giant machines that could fart and used the farts to... propel themselves... into space?'' Qlorog could not believe the reports coming in. Even with AI-assist at 5, Qlorog was at a loss. Qlala must be explaining it wrong. Qlorog was not an engineer, but any lifelong fleeter knows how ships work. 
 `` *Nuclear* farts!'' Qlala answered with a laugh. Qlorog boosted the AI-assist to 6, activating visi-hook, but the visualization could not be right. These people just aim their nuclear fart machine and slingshot through space? This sounded like a child's crazy story, not the work of a space faring species. How do they even pindrop their blinks? Qlorog had seen all sorts of different wrecks in his 13 years working *WTF Is That* duty in the Illar 4 sector. The occasional search and recovery missions were exciting in their own way, particularly since Qlala had joined the team, but discovering impossible technology filled with strange beings was the stuff of science fiction. Most of his missions consisted of detecting an unidentified rock and identifying it as a rock. Qlorog liked it that way. `` That's not even the crazy part,'' Qlala added, excited in only the way a xenobiology minor would be in the face of a first contact crisis, `` It looks like they've been in there for hundreds of years!'' Qlorog spit out his data receptor in shock. Quickly scrambling to reconnect, `` What?'' he transmitted, even before the spindle had rehooked into his visual cortex. `` I do n't even know where to begin,'' Qlala continued without missing a beat. `` We were able to detect hundreds of lifeforms in stasis from 300 qqolas away, no FTL, no blinkfolds, no *shields*. This thing at best hit a fraction of the SOL. From what we can tell they saw our solar system, strapped mining equipment to a tin can, put themselves to sleep and drifted here. And get this... we're detecting insane additional amounts of small combustibles and propellent devices. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.'' Qlorog's mouth was dry and it was n't from the receptor input. `` Movement aids? Maybe?'' he offered. `` Right, that's what we thought too, like the fart machine drives,'' she answered, `` But it seems the stasis system for the lifeforms is specifically shielded to protect them from radiation and impact. They seem fragile. Qlaaf thinks it must be a religious thing. Qllalee says it is obviously fuel. I wrote my master's thesis on speculative alternative data storage technology. What if they're filled with stories of an ancient primitive culture? Qllalee is probably right. Imagine their faces when we wake them up and show them blinks. Is n't this amazing?'' Qlorog tried to deeply sigh, but it was incredibly awkward at full hookup. `` I hope you do n't mind, but we already requested a tow-in to Qqlchar-Base 1,'' Qlala interjected before Qlorog could even reply. `` This is too big a haul for us. You scoop up the birdies and I'll meet you at base. We're going to be famous!'' Qlorog force quit his receptor without signing off, swallowed hard, and followed his orders.
