[ WP ] Advertise the world 's worst theme park .

Parents! Is your first foray into the world of parenthood proving surprisingly tolerable? Do you feel as though you're missing out on the stresses and strains other parents report? 
 
 Experience terror and angst all day long at PARENTAL PARANOIA PLANET! 
 
 Come to Parental Paranoia Planet today, and see such fantastic horrors! A boiling saucepan with the handle turned outwards! An uncovered electrical socket! A dangling curtain cord! See how too much TV, too much internet, too much playtime, too little breastfeeding, moving to solids too soon, too much attention, not enough playtime, too much breastfeeding and not enough TV will melt your child's brain! Plus in our terrifying new exhibition `` the peril outside'' look at all the horrible dangers just waiting for your precious flesh and blood! Cars! Dogs! Complete strangers, apparently minding their own business! Or are they?! 
 
 Come to PARENTAL PARANOIA PLANET today! For an experience that will stay with you forever!
