[ WP ] God decides to open up a technical support line in order to handle the ever-increasing number of prayers he is receiving .

Good Afternoon! Thank you for calling Heaven! I am God, how may I be of assistance to you today? 
 
 Uh, hey... I'm uh... not usually the praying type, but... the doctor found a lump today, and he says it does n't look good. 
 
 I understand that you are feeling concerned about a lump that your doctor found that he said does not look good. 
 
 Yeah... anyway, I was just hoping, that maybe the cancer's not back. Things are not going so well after Julie died, and the kids really need me. Allie still cries all the time, and James is just always so quiet... and I know they need time, but I think this might be more than they can handle. 
 
 I am hearing that you are wishing for the cancer not to be back, because Julie is deceased and Allie is crying and James will not speak, is this correct? 
 
 Yeah... that's... that's about it. 
 
 Ok, please verify your information for me so that I can process your request. I will need the last four digits of the number on the bottom of your baptism certificate...
