[ WP ] You are a gorilla with superhuman intelligence , enrolled in college . Write about your bananigans .

Maximillian observed the campus around him. It was a quaint little college, of about 3000 students in total, and was located in the indecisively weathered region called New England. Teenagers and adults alike mingled in the idyllic fields, old brick buildings off to the side. Here and there a frisbee, or a soccer ball, or a football flew about. The sun shone brightly in the cloudless blue sky, and he wondered briefly if he was not in some cliche story book setting. 
 
 The gorilla turned to his guide, a slender middle-aged man by the name of Jonathan Wayne. Wayne was a professor at Johns Hopkins University, and had helped Maximillian through his intellectual pursuits; he had instilled in Maximillian a deep love of irony, Shakespearean literature, and political theory. Wayne also wore a loosely buttoned shirt over tan slacks, large horn-rimmed glasses framing his lightly bearded face. The gorilla at times suspected that he was what people called a `` hipster.'' 
 
 `` Professor Wayne, I feel somewhat out of place. Could you explain college campus culture to me?'' Jonathan scratched his beard, cocking his head to one side. 
 
 `` Well, I'm not exactly sure if I can just explain college culture in one go. It tends to be individual to each campus.'' Jonathan nodded, pursing his lips. `` When I went to college, most kids just studied during the week.'' Maximillian felt a brief rush of relief at this. Studying was definitely something he knew how to do. 
 
 `` During the weekends, though, everybody drank. A lot.'' The relief faded. 
 
 `` I'm not so sure I'd be comfortable with that kind of culture. The last time I was intoxicated, I --'' Jonathan shook his head. 
 
 `` Do n't you worry about that. There are dry houses on this campus, where people do n't drink or do other drugs.'' The relief returned. Maximillian considered himself highly disciplined, and he did n't want any temptation to try and prove him wrong. 
 
 `` Are there fitness facilities on this campus?'' Jonathan nodded. 
 
 `` I do n't know if there are enough weights to make for a good workout, but you should be all set for cardio.'' He chuckled. `` The cafeteria also has plenty of bananas in stock. Specially set for you, even.'' The gorilla laughed; everybody knew Maximillian could eat more bananas than grew on trees, and he would make sure everybody here knew it too. 
 
 The professor glanced down at his watch, grunting in surprise. 
 
 `` What! It's 3 already! Kathy is going to be pissed!'' He turned and gave the gorilla a small salute. `` I have to go now, but we have everything set up and your roommate should be arriving later tonight. Good luck!'' With that, he began jogging towards his van. The gorilla saluted in kind before a foul, skunk-like odor assaulted his senses. He grimaced. 
 
 These kids did n't know shit about that loud, and it would be up to him to teach them.
