[ WP ] The protagonist slowly realizes that he is not at all part of the actual story .

Ok, so let ’ s see here. I ’ m Lavian Wrynn, son of Anduin and grandson of Varian, otherwise known as the supposed chosen one destined to save Azeroth from the threat that is industrialization. The people of the Alliance and Horde have both merged with each other, creating a single, bureaucratic government led by Jaina Proudmoore and Thrall, which I really don ’ t understand. I don ’ t know what they ’ re doing, but it ’ s going to spell doom to this entire continent. Soon enough, even that unspeaking NPC from down the street has one of those new BlizzPhones, and the people of Azeroth seem to be building these new skyscrapers, or some shit like that. What the hell. 
 
 I thought Azeroth was a fantasy realm, not some sort of EA ripoff! God, what the hell are they doing? It ’ s all started with that stupid selfie cam, didn ’ t it? Oh god. 
 
 So, let ’ s see here. The plan? Take control of Azeroth ’ s marketing plan, destroy the blueprints holding up the system, convince the Horde and Alliance leaders to tear apart the faction, and keep Azeroth as the original power that it always was. Yeah, that seems right. Let ’ s get this moving here. 
 
 I hop on my mount and ride over to the city of Stormwind, which now looks like something ripped out of SimCity. Ok then. We ’ re gon na die. There are these monstrous cranes out here, all these bulldozers and mana factories, which seemingly got implemented for no fucking reason whatsoever, except to ruin this game. Fine. To the joint headquarters. 
 
 I try my best to talk to the NPCs, but they seem to not hear me. Every single fucking one. “ I ’ m Lavian Wrynn, daughter of Anduin and granddaughter of Varian, god dammit, listen to me! ” I yell. They still don ’ t listen. Only when I try to fire a frostbolt at their heads is when they turn around and greet me, and then they go back on their phones again. I kill them out of frustration, but they get rezzed, still browsing their fucking phones. Damn it. 
 
 Even though all these joint HQs are kind of pointless anyway, I can ’ t help but try to take them down. Suddenly, I realize something. 
 
 I do no damage to anyone, or anything, I can ’ t even destroy the domain. I ’ m an NPC. I can ’ t even contact fucking Customer Support, or anything like that, and ask them to change things. Everything is going to go to plan, and money-grubbing, ten-dollar skin Blizzard is going to guarantee that. 
 
 Fuck my life. 

