[ WP ] The hero was killed , the princess was sacrificed , and the evil king rules the land . For the average citizen , though , things have taken a turn for the better .

Ok, ok so I know we ’ re all supposed to be miserable and terrified now that the land has come under new… rulership? But here ’ s the thing dear friend, some things have been getting *better*. Most things, actually. 
 
 Who are we to quantify evil, anyway? All day long people used to talk about how Lord P ’ Tari was so cruel and backwards. His beliefs were viewed as vile and unnatural. But here ’ s the thing, in a lot of cases he seems to actually be *right*. 
 
 Poor soil quality and drought has been providing low crop yields for years. Farming families like mine have suffered and have been living in poverty. After planting season, Lord P ’ Tari ’ s men came around and spread, of all things, animal waste on all the fields! We thought it was sabotage. Who ever thought it would be a good idea to use such despicable means to create a better life? Every crop since Lord P ’ Tari became King P ’ tari has been bountiful! My family has even been fortunate enough to buy 12 new chickens and 2 goats. That is wealth we never could have imagined before. 
 
 And get this, dear friend, my father was gravely injured one day while working the plough. He lost 2 digits on his left hand. One of King P ’ Tari ’ s medics used sharp metal and some sort of fiber and stitched father ’ s fingers back on! Then he pulled out a squirmy, disgusting little creature out of his bag. He said it was called a leech, and it was attached to his wounds. I was sure he would perish of some foul disease, but in fact his digits healed in no time and, while not as good as new, they are still highly functional! 
 
 The people prosper, the land is green, and my neighbors smile on the streets. 
 
 You remember Princess Zafra and her handsome suitor Mobar? She was so beloved by the people, viewed as a one of a kind beauty. It turns out that she was so beautiful, fresh, and lovely because she bathed *every single day*! Our water was so limited and so strictly rationed, that people often had to choose between watering crops and livestock and taking a weekly bath. 
 
 Rumor is the castle held a natatorium deep enough for a man to stand in and be submerged to his chest. And it could hold 10 men head to foot; such was the greatness of its length! It is estimated that perhaps the entire village ’ s monthly water ration could not fill its depths. A princess so willing to harm her own people can not be allowed. Mobar was complicit in the activity and was said to report higher taxes than the kingdom levied in order to grow his own vast fortune. 
 
 Dear friend, the village is happy and more prosperous than ever. Royal corruption has been stamped out and medical advances are being made every day. I invite you to come visit me in 3 months ’ time. We ’ ve just begun to build a suite of guest quarters with excess revenue! 
 
 Long live King P ’ Tari! 

