[ CW ] Rewrite a famous poem under a different theme . Example in comments !

Inspired by my random motivation to rewrite'The Raven': 
 
 
 > Once upon a midnight dreary, while I gamed, eyes red and bleary, 
 Pwning newbies with precision; 360 noscopes galore- 
 
 > Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in bearded Movember; 
 Extra hair from each clan member piled upon their bedroom floor. 
 
 > Eagerly we crushed opponents into their most base components; 
 No one could withstand the hopeless situation thus in store. 
 
 > While I fragged them, hardly trying ( they were all so easily dying ), 
 Suddenly one newb came crying, crying there admist the war. 
 
 > Quoth the newbie: `` ur a whore.'' 
 
 > Suddenly he quit the server in a rage and with much fervor 
 Leaving us to cheer our rage-inducing savvy even more. 
 
 > Yet this newbie would not leave; for he returned, we thought to grieve, 
 But no; he came to seek his vengeance much more skillful than before. 
 
 > Quoth the newbie: `` ur a whore.'' 
 
 > While I pondered my reply, newbie shoots me dead whereby 
 Brains take flight; despite my might my skull is shattered on the floor. 
 
 > Turn around a corner, dead. Newbie shot me in the head. 
 Relishing his newfound skill from pressing autoaim some more. 
 
 > Suddenly my ping grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, 
 I took flight with all my might to shoot the newbie I deplore. 
 
 > “ Sir, ” said I, “ or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; 
 But the fact is you are cheating. So-called skill you wield is fleeting. 
 Fleeting, left to vanish once your aimbot is detected more.'' 
 
 > Silence there, and nothing more. 
 
 > Next a bullet in my eyeball through a dozen layers of drywall. 
 Pinpoint ammunition placed precisely on my fore. 
 
 > Much I questioned that this gameless newb would cheat so blatant; shameless 
 > Though his answer little meaning — little relevancy bore; 
 
 > For we can not help agreeing that no living human being 
 Ever yet was blessed with seeing through the walls or through the door. 
 
 > Then he came out to my bones, and then there despite my moans 
 > He perched upon my corpse and teabagged all my body's gore— 
 
 > Perched, and sat, and nothing more. 
 
 > Nothing farther then he uttered — not a polygon he fluttered— 
 Till I scarcely more than muttered “ Other newbs have hacked before— 
 On the morrow you will leave me, as the rest have done before. ” 
 
 > Then the newbie, sitting lonely there in de_dust, spoke only 
 Those three words, as if his soul in those three words he did outpour: 
 
 > Quoth the newbie: `` ur a whore.'' 
 
 > “ Move your ass and quit the farting, freaking newb! ” I shrieked, upstarting— 
 “ Get thee back into the safety of the GameStop lamer store! 
 
 > Leave my ratio unbroken! Quit the server I implore! 
 Take thy balls from out my mouth, and take thy self right out the door!'' 
 
 > Quoth the newbie: `` ur a whore.'' 
 
 > And that newbie, never flitting, still is sitting, *still* is sitting 
 On my corpse and casting shadows of his crotch onto the floor. 
 
 > And my score from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor- 
 
 > Shall be lifted—nevermore.
