[ WP ] The devil dies , and learns of a second afterlife .

As routine leads to boredom, boredom leads to curiosity. 
 
 At least that's how I saw it. And really, could you blame me? Here I am, and despite all my titles ( Luscifer, Satan, Devil, Dark One ) I still got the worst job this side of death. Stuck in this literal Hell-hole where it's practically guaranteed that I'll only meet the absolute worst of characters, it's not like I was having a great time. 
 
 Of course the mortals depict me as some kind of crazy sadist, getting my rocks off to dreaming up horrible punishments for my guests and being able to act on my dreams without so much as a single limitation. Sure I might have been like that a bit at first, but there's only so much enjoyment you can really get after an eternity, no matter how sadistic you think you may be. It just all turns into the same thing after a while. 
 
 And so, I sat here in the worst place in our out of existence, and realized I had become a prisoner of my own designs. I thought to myself what to do, and as I said, boredom leads to curiosity. 
 
 I looked out over the fields of punishment before me, and a curious thought drifted into my mind: I had never experienced death like these mortals. 
 
 Not even sure if I could die, I decided to attempt it anyways. But how? 
 
 Being the master of Hell, I could of course summon any sort of destructive or pain-inflicting device at will, and so began a long series of attempts at killing myself using all sorts of torture and execution devices. However the problem seemed to be that nothing could damage all of my body at once, so my healing abilities would set in before I could die. 
 
 Finally, I realized there was only one way to end myself. I conjured up explosives. 
 
 With a flair for the dramatic acquired over an eternity spent lost in thought, I made myself a castle. My own little kingdom, with every brick made of TNT, C4 for mortar, dynamite for chandeliers. And in the heart of it all, a throne constructed of nuclear warheads. 
 
 If I could die, I was going out with a bang. 
 
 `` Three.'' 
 
 With my acute knowledge of destruction, I had managed to wire up all of the explosives to detonate at the touch of a single button. 
 
 `` Two.'' 
 
 My eyes were fixed straight ahead, preparing for my first new experience in recent memory. 
 
 `` ONE.'' 
 
 The button was pushed. 
 
 
 
 I was conscious of lying on my back. My eyes were closed. The first thoughts were of failure, that I truly could not die. 
 
 And then I heard the voice. 
 
 The voice that we've all heard, really. Beyond mortality and immortality, beyond Heaven and Hell, beyond God and Satan, beyond you and I. 
 
 The voice of existence. It was neither creation nor destruction, but a presence, pure and resounding, that echoed through all of reality and back. 
 
 `` You've come early.''
