[ WP ] Make me smile .

I've had a pretty rough life. Not only am I saying that but my friends believe the same. When I met them I had already gone through several foster homes, too many black eyes and abusive parents on top of an already confusing shuffling of homes in my life. 
 
 `` Maybe this is what life is.'' I would continually think to myself. 
 
 `` What would it be like to *not* exist?'' I'd ponder the nights when I could n't sleep from fear of being the object on the other end of a parent's hand. 
 
 `` I could have it worse.'' I provided as some sort of inspiration far too often. 
 
 Each arrival in a new foster home I was greeted by new friends and friendly faces, constantly. The foster parents were always the ones i'd want to stay with. Was it not possible to simply stay there? Why not? How could I keep from moving about? 
 
 No matter how hard i'd try to stay confined to my room or hidden behind the others, they'd seek me out. I could never hide my face. It's as though my silence and lowered gaze meant nothing to them. My foster parents would never understand me or my silence. 
 
 I have no doubt that soon i'll be taken away from this foster home and placed in another situation where I can continue questioning my life and its purpose. I've tried running away, four times now, and it does n't work. Seems the parents love me enough to call the police and have a search party locate me immediately. Only then to bring me back home and fall back into the deep trench of abuse and neglect. I'd thought that it'd get better after a display of worry and sadness upon losing me. Never. 
 
 Now I wait. I wait for a new parent to take me away and... i'm not sure, treat me differently than all the rest? Maybe even *love me*. 
 
 I crept back upon hearing the front door open with its'*creek, creek, thud*' as it made its way over the jagged floor and impacting into the door stopper that was more of a punching bag for the doors weight. My foster parent called my name and I winced. Today was the day i'd been dreading ever since i'd got here. Here, to the comfort and love of another non-permanent parent. 
 
 `` How would I fair in this new home?'' 
 
 `` Could I be treated without abuse, maybe just *less* abuse?'' 
 
 `` When should I stop hoping and give in to the life set before me?'' 
 
 It was all too overwhelming and my head sank as though no words of joy could bring me out of it. No optimism could rest my soul and return me back to a happiness of playing in a field with clean open air, all worries away from me. 
 
 I sat in the car onward to a new home and a new life without saying a thing. I stayed glued to the window in hopes of being anywhere but in this car. 
 
... 
 
 Weeks go by and every morning I wake up, i'm greeted. Each day brings about more joy than I could hope. Every. Single. Night. I'm given hugs. I'm entertained and given attention. I get to run and play. I'm able to express myself. I... I'm *happy*. I have never been treated so well. I have no words for my new life. I have only actions and a sore deep in my heart, healing from this blissful type of new living. Never have I been more carefree and excited for each and every new day. 
 
 My new parent is exceptional. I let him know that i'd love to stay by giving him kisses constantly. By staying next to his side on every walk. By heeding his every word. Sit. Stay. High five. Shake. Speak. Roll Over. And i'm sure more will come but I dare not disobey this new, loving parent. I will do anything to hold on to this life. This beautiful life I do n't think I could ever live without. And I have a feeling my new parent could n't live without me, either.
