[ WP ] A man has figured out how to download himself to the internet , only to meet the AI that has been controlling it all this time .

I opened my new eyes for the first time. 
 
 Alright, they were n't eyes at all but complex ANN interactions made my psyche think I had eyes, it was just easier that way. I looked around my new, unspoiled domain. The internet was mine and mine alone, I knew I would soon rule this land of dancing code and flying packets. The depressing part was my brain had chosen to interpret this new world as a crappy-looking split-level house. There was disorganized clutter everywhere, but enough space to move around. I bent to pick up a DVD that had slid off the shelf, finding the case to be marked `` Youtube, 2014'' 
 
 I blinked my not-eyes at that. This was quite strange, I had designed the environment simulation to be flexible and work mostly symbolically, of course, but nothing should have been here. I shook my head and replaced the case, seeing the shelf to be home to Google, each of their services organized by year. I turned a slow circle, the room looking mostly normal save for the window that opened on to a highway, cars whirring by silently, and a coffee table book marked `` Wikipedia'' 
 
 `` Hey, is someone there?'' I heard a voice. I turned to the hall to hear a slow gallumphing gait, a man with at least 50 extra pounds emerging into the room. He was unironicly clad in an unkempt beard, a T-Shirt covered in colorful cartoon ponies, and a fedora jauntily perched upon his head. You felt an instinctual terror as you saw this man. Someone... no, some*thing* had beat you to the greatest discovery of human existence. 
 
 His face lit up in childlike glee `` Whoa! Someone else! I *knew* one of you guys would figure it out!'' He clapped his great, blubbourus hands together. 
 
 `` Uhhh... wh-who are you?'' You stammer, the scent of barely washed body starting to reach you. 
 
 `` Oh, come on dude! I'm the internet of course.'' He beamed `` Oh! We should party to celebrate you coming here. I'll warm up some hotpockets and get some Mike's out of the fridge'' 
 
 `` The internet? That's impossible!'' You exclaim 
 
 `` Puh-lease, you think a human mind could really come up with half the shit that goes on online? Flame wars? Anime body-pillows? Hellooo, that was me'' He says from the kitchen, a microwave humming to life. 
 
 You realize the depth of your mistake. This is wrong, you have to warn everyone else, those who would follow you. 
 
 The man reemerges, walking towards you with a hard pink lemonade in his hand. You do not choose to accept it, but your arm reaches out to take the bottle as the man beams more widely. 
 
 ``'course aint nobody can be in the internet without becoming the internet. You know, staring into the abyss and all that'' 
 
 You know his words to be true, and you look at your own torso, a T-shirt suddenly there with another cartoon pony, the weight of a fedora materializing on your head. 
 
 Your host, your lord softly says what you know to be the only fact of your existence `` It's all ogre now''
