[ WP ] Write the letter that you always wanted to , but never did .

My Dear, 
 
 It is interesting how our perception of time seems inverse to our age. When we were young time was fleeting and yet there was always enough of it with you. Now we get older, accumulating the years like rings in a tree. The present is long, slow and arduous yet there never seems to be enough of it. 
 
 I always cherished our time together but not so much as I should have because I truly never expected it to end. I trusted myself back then, I believed- knew, I could do anything I wanted and it would succeed. I had you. I loved you and even when it became clear that we could no longer be together, I loved you all the more. 
 
 I knew it was my fault all along, the self-destructive life I had built around me was clearly pushing you away even though we both tried to help each other through. I was honestly too depressed to pull out of it, and I still am. After my brothers death and then losing you, I stopped caring. Nothing hurts more than knowing my own inadequacy and lack of effort is what led to our separation especially when you were the only good thing left. 
 
 This is all I really wanted to say. I'm too much of a scared child to actually let you know how I feel. I know I will never be a good enough person to be worth your time and that to tell you these things would be a selfish thing to burden you with. I just had to say somewhere, somehow that I still love you, that I always will, that I ca n't not even if I wanted. 
 
 Take care, 
 
 Love
