[ WP ] You take a break from vampire hunting and go on an awesome date ... who just may be a vampire .

The streetlight on the corner flickered as my pounding heartbeat drowned out a distant siren. I nervously glanced at my phone, then at the Pizza Shack, then back at my phone. She was the hottest girl I'd dated for a long time, and we'd agreed to meet here, at the corner of 7th and Washington, right outside Pizza Shack. Alright, so maybe I have n't dated any girls since, well, who's counting right. She looked great on her Tinder profile. And she lived nearby. I glanced at my phone again. 
 
 `` Derek?'' My legs involuntarily straightened faster than they were supposed to, almost propelling me into the air as I dropped my phone. My hand automatically shot down to my belt, where I usually kept my wooden stakes. Damn, she walked quietly. I guess some people just have a knack for going places unnoticed. 
 
 `` Tania?'' I asked. Her quizzical expression flowed into an amused grin. I was smiling too, but mine came with a double helping of embarrassment. `` You startled me. You walk pretty quietly...'' I trailed off lamely, bending over to pick up my phone. 
 
 `` Sorry I'm late.'' She said, ignoring my awkwardness. `` When I was walking down 6th, an old man tripped in front of me. He started bleeding quite a bit.'' 
 
 `` Oh my god! That's awful. Is he alright?'' 
 
 `` Oh he's quite dead. Head wound. Lots of blood.'' 
 
 We had n't even entered the restaurant and already the date seemed to be going badly. I racked my brain for advice, hoping the online dating advice I'd read for the past week would come in handy. Then I remembered: comfort the girl! 
 
 `` Are you alright?'' I asked triumphantly. 
 
 `` Oh I'm fine. I'm used to seeing blood,'' she replied casually. 
 
 At this point my scattered brain decided to remember that she worked at the local hospital. She'd probably seen as much gore and death as I had. I mentally glared at my brain. It blew a mental raspberry back. I sighed mentally. 
 
 `` That's... good.'' I wondered whether I should put my arm around her. Is that how this kind of thing worked? `` Why do n't we go eat?'' I continued. She laughed, grabbing my arm and dragged me into the Pizza Shack. 
 
 I noticed the waitress was a low level Klaspian succubus, and she certainly noticed me, seating us quickly without making eye contact. After a minute of perusing the rather limited menu, I remembered a video of a couple eating spaghetti together, ending with a cute kiss when they ate different ends of the same piece of pasta. The meatball marinara could be my ticket to the promised land! I asked if she wanted to share one with me. 
 
 `` Does it have garlic? I ca n't eat garlic,'' she said without waiting for a response. I tensed up. 
 
 `` Allergies, you know, `` she continued. I mentally breathed a sigh of relief. 
 
 I tried again. `` What about the fettucine with alfredo sauce, then? I'm pretty sure no one puts garlic in alfredo sauce.'' She nodded. 
 
 When the fettucine came, we dug in. Or, at least, I dug in, and she turned away, reached into her mouth, put it into a little case, and quickly shoved the case in her purse. I chewed slowly. 
 
 `` What was that?'' I asked. Vampires often have a fake set of teeth to disguise their sharp fangs. I was starting to get suspicious. She blushed. 
 
 `` It was my retainer. It's not polite to ask about stuff like that, you know.'' I mentally sighed, in relief, again. I was glad she had a normal explanation, and was in no way a vampire. 
 
 Then she ate a bite of the fettucine. Her face contorted into approximately half shock and half pain, then she spit it out. Unfortunately, her lips were starting to smoke. Apparently, Pizza Shack *does* put garlic in their fettucine alfredo. Oh, also, she was a vampire. I sighed mentally, not in relief, but more in exasperation. 
 
 `` Look.'' she tried to say through a grimace and her burning lips. `` I'm not gon na try to bite you or kill you or anything.'' 
 
 I pushed my chair out from the table and slowly stood up. 
 
 `` I know your a vampire hunter, but I think you are alfo cute!'' She coughed. `` Pleafe just fit back down and we can talk about it.'' She tried to grab my wrist and pat out her fiery lips at the same time. I pushed her away and ran out the back door. It really makes me sad when my work follows me on my days off.
