[ EU ] Smaug the Dragon hears news his sister has been engaged . He travels to a land Far Far Away to meet the suitor and make sure he is worthy , but he is caught off guard when it turns out to be a strange talking donkey .

With a groan he left the Lonely Mountain, a secret passage way that only he knew, into the brisk light of day. It had been a long time since he had been able to stretch his wings and take flight, it felt new to feel the cold air brushing past his scales, his tail swinging wildly as he climbed higher above the clouds. Although he didn ’ t want to, he had to leave the mountain. Smaug considered himself to be a proud and powerful dragon, part of a noble family, and family nobility mattered. His sister, Aarnog, was to marry tomorrow. Marriage hadn ’ t long been a family tradition, but meeting the new dragon before welcoming him into the family was something he had ached to do, to inspect the new dragon and ensure he was suitable for his sister. 
 
 Over lakes and mountains, oceans and chasms, he flew to a new place he hadn ’ t been before, Far Far Away. The name of this new town had a blatant comedic effect, but if anything it annoyed Smaug. Middle Earth had a subtle, yet noble history. The land had been destroyed through years of war, man verses elf verses dwarf verses orc, the war was ongoing. Smaug had flew further than Saroman ’ s gaze, the Lonely Mountain disappeared over the horizon as he continued on to his destination. 
 
 Landing in a grassy plane, the midday sun making the trees glow, Smaug arrived at Far Far Away. He took in the sights, smelled the fresh air, this wasn ’ t a place for a dragon to live. Before he could reconsider his location, the sound of wings was heard behind him, he turned to see the beautiful ruby dragon landing. 
 
 ‘ Brother! ’ She said happily, coming close to him, her sharp teeth shining as she smiled. 
 
 ‘ Aarnog, it is good to see you again ’ Smaug replied, his voice deep and well spoken. The two spoke for a while, Aarnog spoke of how she guarded a tower, Smaug spoke of how he guarded a mountain. As they spoke, people walked past, looking at the two dragons talking. A fat, old, green man walked past, his thick Scottish accent stung Smaug ’ s ears. 
 
 ‘ What is that? ’ Smaug said, glaring deeply at the disgusting creature. 
 
 ‘ Don ’ t be mean, that ’ s Shrek, he ’ s an ogre ’. 
 
 ‘ I don ’ t care, a creature like that does not deserve to walk freely amongst the rest of us. He strides with contentment, it ’ s an insult to all of us ’. Smaug spat. 
 
 ‘ Oh, brother, you always were the most friendly dragon ’ Aarnog laughed. 
 
 As they continued on, other family members arrived. A Hungarian Horntail arrived and greeted both Aarnog and Smaug, he was a close family friend. 
 
 ‘ Where is his brother? ’ Smaug asked Aarnog, wondering where the elderly, grey dragon was. 
 
 ‘ They still haven ’ t found him, rumour has it that he ’ s been captured and held beneath a bank ’ Aarnog replied, before quickly trying to change the subject. ‘ So, how was your journey? ’ 
 
 ‘ Fine, where is the male you should marry? ’ Smaug asked quickly, done with the niceties. 
 
 ‘ Oh, well, Smaug… He ’ s a lovely *guy* and he ’ s really friendly, and… ’ Aarnog hesitated. 
 
 ‘ Yes, and where is he? ’ Smaug pushed on. Aarnog turned towards the ogre, beside him walked a small donkey, bobbing his head as he tried to keep up. 
 
 ‘ The ogre? You are marrying an ogre?! ’ Smaug yelled, his voice full of rage, spitting small fireballs as he spoke. 
 
 ‘ No, no, of course not! ’ Aarnog tried to calm him down. ‘ The, the one beside him… ’ Smaug stopped in his tracks, the ogre and donkey were now looking over, confused by the yelling. 
 
 ‘ A… Donkey… ’ Smaug said to himself. ‘ A donkey?! ’ He yelled, this time his soft belly roared with fire, escaping up his throat and out his nose. ‘ I ’ ll kill him! ’ He screamed. Aarnog was quick to react, she jumped in front of Smaug to stop him. 
 
 ‘ Smaug, I love him, at least get to know him, you ’ ll like him too! ’ She reasoned. Smaug considered for a moment and then agreed, he was lead over to them, using his wing he pushed the ogre aside. He bent down deep, almost face to face with the donkey. 
 
 ‘ Smaug, this is Donkey ’ Aarnog introduced. ‘ Donkey, this is my brother, Smaug. ’ 
 
 ‘ Ooooh, he ’ s a big dragon! ’ Donkey said, his voice comical and patronising. ‘ I ’ m not going to cross you, am I big guy? ’ he said, bumping his hoof against Smaug ’ s nose. Smaug stopped, looked at Aarnog, and back at Donkey. 
 
 ‘ And you love this… Rodent? ’ Smaug asked. 
 
 ‘ Rodent? I ’ m of the finest breed! ’ Donkey joked. ‘ Full steed I am, full steed and full lover. ’ Smaug stared at him, not sure how to react, although the smoke rising from his nostrils indicated his fury. 
 
 ‘ Smaug ’ Aarnog stepped in. ‘ I love him, we ’ re getting married. Please, just, be happy for us ’ Aarnog asked. 
 
 ‘ You ask me to welcome his rat into our family? He will bring shame to our entire heritage! ’ Smaug yelled again, now gaining more attention. 
 
 ‘ Hey, standing right here man! ’ Donkey spoke again, barely making a noise against Smaug ’ s yelling anger. 
 
 ‘ You can hardly talk about shame in our family, don ’ t you remember Mushu? ’ Aarnog argued. 
 
 ‘ This donkey reminds me of him… ’
