[ WP ] Somebody dies and is sent to hell . Satan is in a good mood and makes a deal . If the deceased can make the Devil laugh then he can skip Hell and go straight to Heaven . What happens ?

It was Christmas. Satan's favorite holiday. At least it had been ever since he took that dickhead's birthday and turned it into a frenzied consumerist sideshow. It took some doing but now he laughed all the way to the bank every year. Not that he had much need for money but he never tired of sending a birthday card to his favorite sap. With every passing year Satan could tell he was winning in their eternal game of chess more and more with this year being no exception. 
 
 Standing now at the gates of hell he looked down the long row of people just waiting their turn to check in and get to their eternity of suffering. Shuffling along with their heads down as if they were sent to the principles office for shooting spitballs. The line stretched almost beyond even his own keen eye sight. They had certainly hit their busy season. *Do n't worry folks. Plenty of room here at the hotel California. * A wicked grin creased his lips and wimpers could be heard from several of his newly arrived house guests. 
 
 Satan was about to leave to make his rounds when a nervous looking young man spoke his name with shaky uncertainty. *I guess he's eager to meet his new boss*. Satan's grin broadened as he approached the freshly damned. `` Over the next few thousand years I'll make you regret having murmured those syllables you worthless cunt.'' 
 
 The man shrank horrified clearly already regretting it. His face turned to the ground terrified tears running down his cheeks. He did n't know what had come over him to think this might work. This was n't some Charlie Daniels song. This was reality. The terrible realization that it was HIS reality mustered the strength in him to go for it. `` Mr. Satan?.... umm sir?'' The horrified words fumbling from his mouth `` could I offer a... uh... wager?'' 
 
 Satan paused a moment then let out a booming laugh that made even his own front gate attendants flinch. `` Do n't tell me you want to have a fiddle contest, fuckhead. I promise you are n't nearly talented enough.'' His eyes burning with twisted pleasure as he watched the man tremble and nearly soil himself. 
 
 Never daring to look up at The Author of Sin the man squeaked out two words, `` a joke.'' 
 
 `` A joke?'' Satan's insane cheerful hatred changed to intrigue. 
 
 `` Yes.'' The man mustered all the courage he could and offered his terms in a slow deliberate tone. `` If I can tell you a joke that makes you laugh, you let me go to heaven.'' The last word spoken in a choked whisper as if saying it too loud may conjure all the horrors of hell to bare down on him at once. 
 
 Satan's devilish grin turned to a sly, knowing, smirk. *Why not? I'm certainly feeling the Christmas spirit. * He let out a low rumbling chuckle. `` Alright you misguided sack of shit. You have one chance.'' 
 
 The man paused for a moment finding it nearly impossible to put any reasonable thoughts together amongst his terror but finally managed to grasped the joke he had planned on using. With a deep breath he looked up and recited it carefully `` what do you get when you cross a nigger with an octopus?'' 
 
 Satan looked at him skeptically `` What?'' 
 
 `` I do n't know but it sure can pick a helluva lot of cotton.'' 
 
 Satan studied the man for a moment then began laughing. At first it was a guttural chuckle but it slowly crescendoed to a loud hearty laugh. The man looked up at him in shock and disbelief. He hesitantly joined Satan laughing a bit uneasily at first but then happily as the idea that he had just saved his soul sank in. 
 
 Their laughter echoed as everyone looked on in silence. Satan's laughter stopped all at once and he closed his powerful hand tightly around the man's throat with lightning speed. The man let out a startled yelp before his throat was fully crushed in Satan's grip. Satan turned and walked through the gates to his realm dragging the man along kicking and scratching. He lifted the man up and held him out as he reached the edge of a massive drop off that gave way to an endlessly swirling pit of eternal fire. 
 
 Satan tightened his grip digging his fingers into the man's throat. The man looked at him with his betrayed eyes buldging wildly. `` The funniest part was when you thought you could actually save your pathetic soul.'' Satan released his grip sending the man tumbling helplessly into the flames screaming coarsely the entire time. Cries of horror were heard by those in line who saw the spectacle as Satan walked away wearing his terrible grin. *It was a damn good joke though. * 
 
 Edit: spelling
