[ WP ] A 16-year-old girl sees her memories flash before her eyes , and ponders her life in the moments before her death

The screeching sounds finally stopped, but I hardly noticed. It had been a cold night, but suddenly I felt warm. Not the kind of uneven warmth of the musty heated air that had been blowing through the car vents, but the kind of peaceful bliss one feels in those first few moments of settling into a bath. 
 
 
 *The rusty old tap spurts out a violently uneven jet of water and a harried-looking woman checks the temperature with her wrist while gripping a crying and struggling child with the other. Strands of frizzy black hair escape from her messy ponytail but she ignores them as she begins to undress the wailing child. A slightly older child sits quietly in the tub and plays with her toys. * 
 I must have been about four then, it was back when we still lived in that one bedroom dump in the city. The pipes leaked, the neighbors were mean and the heater was always broken. We'd just moved there and none of us besides Father spoke much English, so we did n't really know anyone. My mother would wrap us up in a million layers before she let us outside, but the cold never bothered me in the least. I was made for the winter. The snow drifting silently from the heavens, and deafening silence of the great wide world. It felt like we owned the place -a giant, snowy kingdom, just for us. My brother would always lag behind with his stubby little legs and giant puffy jacket, so I'd stop and make a snow angel really quickly before my mother saw and yelled at me for getting my coat dirty -she was always worrying about something or another. My parents never talk about that place, because I think they want to forget, but I'll always love it in secret. 
 
 *A man yells in the background as a young girl washes dishes with her head down. A woman replies to him in softer tones as she clutches an infant protectively to her chest and a young boy huddles against her leg. * 
 By the time we finally bought our first house, my youngest brother had been born. Father did n't travel as much anymore, so he had to be around us more often, which I guess was annoying for him. I liked the new house at first, bigger rooms, more space, even a yard all to ourselves, but the thing about the suburbs is that if you do n't have any friends, there's nowhere to go. I tried being nice to the neighbor girl, but she said I smelled funny and told me to pretend I was her pet camel. Her games were lame so I went back home and found a portal to fairy-world behind the blue flower bush. My brother ( the older one ) played fairies with me sometimes, but he was n't as good at it so he could n't see all of them. I guess I was really lucky to have him around back then, he really was my best friend. 
 
 *A young woman sits alone at the window of a dark room, giggling quietly into a phone. Moonlight streams in through the open window and she she gazes at the lit-up clouds as she makes excited hand-gestures that no one will see. * 
 That was last year, during the sophomore dance! I did n't attend, of course, my mother never approved of activities where I could potentially interact with the opposite sex, but my best-friend, Ann, kept me updated the whole time. Who danced with who. who snubbed who. who spiked the punch, etc. My father had thrown a fit about the phone bill, and my mother hated that I was friends with so many white girls, *'' their parents let them do whatever they want. They'll probably end up flipping burgers -is that what you want?! `` * so I had to be very sneaky about my calls. Her descriptions of the decorations and the people and the crazy dresses made me feel like I really had been there. It's too bad she had n't gone on the class trip to Paris, since she'd taken Spanish instead. I'd begged and pleaded to go; I reminded them of their promise, that if I got straight A's I could attend. *'' Once you're a doctor, you can visit Paris every summer,'' * So I guess I'll never see the Louvre for myself, but maybe my brothers will see it someday. 
 
 Maybe I would have been a doctor; I always got good grades in science and my art teacher told me my hands were really steady. Maybe Jason would have asked me to Prom; Ann always said he had a secret crush on me, but I think she was just trying to be nice -he was way out of my league. Maybe I would gotten married some day and summered on the French Rivera with the love of my life. Maybe I would have forgiven my father and bought my mother the beautiful things she'd always wanted but never asked for. 
 
 Maybe if I had n't had that last drink, I would have known not to turn so quickly around that curve, and maybe I'd still be alive.
