[ WP ] When you die , you do n't go to the afterlife of you 're religion , you go to the afterlife of the religion whose tenets you followed most closely , knowingly or not .

`` And this is...?'' 
 
 The man behind the desk laughed at him and turned away. 
 
 `` No, seriously, talk. What're you, an illegal immigrant? Do n't hide your face from me, I know who you are --'' 
 
 The man fixed him with a withering glare. `` Passport, *sir*?'' 
 
 `` What? I'm the goddamn President-to-be, I do n't carry that. Check your TV, that's my ID.'' 
 
 The TV flickered on. His obituary was playing. 
 
 `` See? I'm..oh.'' 
 
 `` Unwelcome? Certainly.'' The man behind the counter tore the paperwork in half and sneered. `` Go back to life, meatback. No room here.'' 
 
 -- -- -- 
 
 A very, very long-suffering golden wig floated freely along a sea of beautiful, bald maidens. Its work was over.
