[ WP ] A guy finds the perfect avocado

Manu woke suddenly, thoroughly, dreams forgotten. Though he may have dreamed it before, this was n't a dream now. The item's location was clear. He needed to mark it or lose it forever. 
 
 He looked at a map on the wall, but it would n't do. Not far enough west. Not by a thousand miles west did this drawing of rivers and lakes given to him free at a trailhead meet his current demands. Manu did n't have any other maps so he extended it as best he could, knocking on his neighbor's window as the line containing his wall would have extended next door. Impatient, he climbed through the window and found Stanley's left eyelid to match on all axes. 
 
 `` What are you doing, Manu?'' Stanley did n't open his eye but was a keen reader of footsteps, footprints on audiobook essentially, no two alike. 
 
 `` There is an avocado at this location.'' Manu drew from his side an 18-inch long permanent marker, thicker than fists, blacker than black. Stanley wheezed at the stink which the air of his bedroom would now contain permanently. 
 
 `` You mean this avocado?'' Stanley held up a prize one. `` Yes. I was just thinking about having some --'' 
 
 `` No, obviously, Stanley, what I mean is that I need you to give me your left eye. I have to mark some coordinates.'' 
 
 `` Yeah. I knew you meant that. I'd just rather give you an avocado. Even if it's flawed. You can cut out the flaws. You can cut a hundred avocados down to each one's finest hundredth, fuse them together and you'd have a perfect one. You'd hardly notice the seams. Since they're gooey.'' 
 
 `` Give me your left eye.'' 
 
 With a final blink and a sigh, Stanley grabbed hold with a thumb and two fingers, gave a sharp twist, then yanked it the length of his arm outward. Gathering up the connective bits in his cupped hands, he offered the eye to Manu. 
 
 `` My left. Your right I guess. The one you use on your rifle scope.'' 
 
 Stanley repeated the process with a wink instead of a blink. 
 
 `` Thank you.'' Manu dabbed the eye with the tiniest hint of black, then sheathed his marker. `` There. This is the spot.'' Back at home, he thumb tacked the eye to his own wall, stared at it thoughtfully for a bit... then he rotated it upside down and headed back to Stanley's place. 
 
 `` Now you're East. Here.'' He gave Stanley the tangible, paper part of the map, which was now also upside down. `` You can keep this map. Just be warned that upwards is South, in case you try to use it.'' The eyeless Stanley nodded. 
 
 Ring. 
 
 `` Manu, this is Sheila from Samurai Sandwich.'' 
 
 `` I'm not ready, Sheila.'' 
 
 `` You have to be ready. There is a girl in line -- 4th -- she's not going to settle.'' 
 
 `` Calm down Sheila. If she's in line then she has n't even ordered yet.'' 
 
 `` You would n't be calm if you saw how she looked at Dui.'' 
 
 `` You are referring to the avocado that you have named Dui Duari?'' 
 
 `` Saw it from twenty paces away.'' 
 
 `` People do that. Dui is a striking avocado.'' 
 
 `` Yes but then they react accordingly to being striken! This girl is not impressed!'' 
 
 `` Avocados might not be her thing.'' 
 
 `` YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT MANU.'' 
 
 `` So I do. But that does n't mean panic ever solved anything. Stall her.'' 
 
 `` Can you be here in five minutes with the perfect avocado?'' 
 
 `` Probably. I have a map of its location now, about a thousand miles to the East.'' 
 
 `` Good. I'll try to --.'' 
 
 `` I mean West, I think.'' 
 
 `` Good.''
