[ TT ] [ EU ] A Star Sapphire ring , the power ring of Love enters Earth 's atmosphere to find its new host , a person so love lost that the ring seeks to help . A Star Sapphire is dispatched to meet the new member , a miss Harley Quinzel .

A woman walked down the street, a dozen heart-shaped balloons in tow, on a cold February evening. 
 
 “ Free balloon fer your sweetheart? ” 
 
 There were couples everywhere - going in and out of movies, sitting on restaurant patios, gathered around street buskers, or just strolling hand in hand. All of them so wrapped up in each other, they would take a balloon almost automatically, without giving the lone woman a second glance. 
 
 They were sickening. 
 
 And soon, they would be REALLY sickening. 
 
 Harley giggled at the thought. “ Balloons. Free balloons here. Guaranteed to put a SMILE on your widdle smook ’ ums face. ” 
 
 A lone man in a purple suit approached her, moving through the crowded street like a shark. He was wearing a glittering, heart-shaped mask, and he was all out of balloons. It was show time. 
 
 “ Attention lovebirds! ” he shouted jubilantly into a bullhorn. “ In the spirit of the season, and on behalf of the Gotham Residents Achieving Valentine's Euphoria initiative, I ask all the happy couples to put their balloon between their faces, and take a picture. Maybe try one where you each kiss one side! Be sure to share them online with the hashtag # G.R.A.V.E.! And do be careful… ” 
 
 The man in the mask leaned forward eagerly, and switched off the bullhorn, so only Harley could hear. The tone of his voice turned sinister. `` You wouldn ’ t want your balloons to pop. ” He pulled a small device out of his pocket. It was a red button labelled: “ Pop!'' 
 
 Harley scanned the crowd. All the balloons she had given away were floating, untethered, up into the air. “ Hey, what gives? ” 
 
 “ My magnificent massacre, it ’ s ruined! ” growled the man in the mask. “ That means… ” 
 
 At that moment, Harley heard a whoosh as the ribbon on her remaining balloons snapped and they floated up into the sky. A tiny throwing star quivered in the lamppost next to her. No, not a star, it was shaped like… 
 
 “ Eep! ” she exclaimed as she suddenly found herself hanging upside down. A black rope, bound around her ankles, stretched up to the top of the lamppost. 
 
 A dark blur dropped to the street, and unfolded dramatically to reveal none other than the Dark Knight. Somewhere in the crowd, buskers with horns flourished a triumphant theme, right on cue. 
 
 “ Batman! ” said Joker, throwing away his mask. “ What ’ s the matter, couldn ’ t get a date of your own tonight? That ’ s no reason to spoil MY fun! ” 
 
 “ It ’ s over Joker. I ’ ve already neutralized all the balloons. Come quietly. ” 
 
 “ End the night already? Surely we have time for at least one, more, DANCE! ” Joker lunged forward viciously. 
 
 Harley lost sight of the brawl as she tried to unbind herself. Her awkward movements had caused her to wobble and start slowly spinning in place. She patted herself all over trying to remember where she had hidden her knives this morning. Must have left them in her other tights. 
 
 She wrinkled her nose and glared at the sharp metal bat still sticking out of the post. It was just outside her reach. Had the no-good detective really thought that far ahead? 
 
 “ Haaaaaarley! ” called Joker, from somewhere she couldn ’ t see. It sounded like he ’ d taken more than a few punches already. “ Be a dear and help daddy - oof! - with his secret admirer, would you? He ’ s getting awfully hands-y over here. ” 
 
 “ Sure thing, Mista ’ Jay! Just a little tied up at the moment. ” 
 
 “ You ’ ve been dealt worse hands, ” Joker replied. “ You just need to know when to - oof! - hold and know when to - oof! - fold! ” 
 
 “ Gotcha, snook'ums!'' 
 
 With no other options, she braced herself against the lamppost and willed herself to do a vertical sit-up. Her abs straining, she had almost reached her ankles when another whoosh blew back her pigtails and snapped the rope. 
 
 Suddenly falling, she flailed her limbs wildly. Something tugged on her hand, but when she grasped, nothing was there. Anticipating a hard landing, she crossed her arms in front of her face, closed her eyes and and gritted her teeth. 
 
 Instead of a crash, she jerked to a stop. Opening one eye, she saw the ground just inches away, and on her finger, somehow, a glowing ring. 
 
 A strange feeling came over her. The glow spread from the ring, up her arm. She felt her tongue twitch. To her surprise, she started speaking, her voice booming. 
 
 `` For hearts long lost and full of fright, 
 For those alone in blackest night, 
 Accept our ring and join our fight, 
 Love conquers all -- 
 With violet light! ” 
 
 A feeling of incredible power flooded her chest, and she surged up into the sky. Thinking of Joker, she effortlessly turned in mid-air and found herself looking in the right direction. There he was, a few yards away, pinned to the ground by the Batman. Both men were staring at her quizzically, mouths agape. 
 
 “ Break up MY date, will ya? I don ’ t think so! Hands off my man! ” she shouted, and dove towards them with a growl. 
 
 She slammed into the vigilante, and the two of them spun in a tangle and crashed into the side of a parked car. 
 
 “ Life really IS like a box of chocolates! ” exclaimed Joker, rolling on the ground, laughing. `` Hell hath no fury, eh Bats? Ah ha Ha HA HAA! ” 
 
 Harley stood and dusted herself off, noticing for the first time her disguise was gone. In its place, she was wearing some kind of cross between her harlequin outfit and a uniform. Weird. She skipped over and helped Joker to his feet. 
 
 Batman, too, was recovering from the crash. He stood with a wobble so slight Harley through she might have imagined it. 
 
 “ Pick a card, Batman! Go ahead, I won ’ t look! ” shouted Joker. With a flick of the wrist, a deck of cards slid out of his sleeve, and into his palm. He fanned the cards in one hand, covered his eyes with the other, and then threw the lot at the Caped Crusader. They sailed chaotically, quickly forming a huge cloud of fluttering paper between the clowns and their foe. 
 
 “ Haaaaarley! The prestige, if you please! ” Joker grinned sadistically and peeked between his fingers. 
 
 Not one to miss her cue, she smirked and leapt forward, flying towards the cloud - and Batman behind it - with her fist outstretched. “ Queen of HEARTS! ” 
 
 She burst through the cards and smashed Batman in the jaw, sending him tumbling. Behind her, Joker laughed maniacally. 
 
 “ I love a good tricycle as much as the next girl, but I think it ’ s time to lose this third wheel, ” said Harley. “ Your brooding B.S. is really ruining the vibe, Bat-jerk!'' 
 
 Somehow, in a way that felt totally natural to her, she conjured a comedically large, transparent, glowing baseball bat out of thin air. “ After all, I ’ ve got all the bat I want right here! ” 
 
 Again, she rushed towards her enemy. 
 
 “ Ooh, good idea, ” cooed Joker. `` They say home is where the heart is, so why don ’ t you give our sulky superhero a home run! ” 
 
 She put all her might behind her swing, but Batman rolled out of the way at the last second. The bat whooshed through the air just above his head. 
 
 Harley spun around like a ballerina and wound up for another strike. 
 
 “ Pucker up, Bat-mook, it ’ s time for your kiss goodnight! ” she said, as she swung mercilessly. 
 
 Again, Batman dodged in the nick of time. 
 
 Harley let go of the bat, which disappeared instantly, and held out her hands like claws. “ Stay STILL, would ya? ” 
 
 Somehow, crystal formed around Batman ’ s legs, sticking him in place. This was the chance she needed. She grabbed his head with one hand and readied a haymaker with the other. 
 
 “ Whadda ’ ya want on yer tombstone? ” she asked. Even as the words left her lips, she noticed Batman wasn ’ t scared - wasn ’ t even looking her in the eyes. He was looking at her fist. At the ring. 
 
 A look of realization, then resignation came over Batman's face, but she didn ’ t expect what he said. His voice sounded sad. “ He doesn ’ t love you, Harley. ” 
 
 Her fist drooped, just slightly. “ Huh? Sure he does. He ’ s my Pudding ’. ” 
 
 She wanted it to be true. She was sure it was. In fact, when she thought about it, she could feel it. Behind her, something that felt a lot like love - twisted as though it might be - was radiating out from good old Mister Jay. 
 
 But when she turned away from Batman and glanced over her shoulder, her heart sank. As she looked at Joker, staring back at the two of them, she suddenly knew that her Clown Prince only had eyes for one person. And it wasn ’ t her. 
 
 Suddenly, she felt something brush her hand, and her body sagged. As quickly as the power had come, it was gone. The crystal shattered and vanished. She turned back toward Batman just in time to see him palm the ring and slip it into his belt. She had only been distracted for a moment… 
 
 She fell to her knees. “ Wwwwwwwwaaaahh-ahhh-ahhh. ” 
 
 ——— 
 
 It wasn ’ t long before the police arrived. Harley and Joker were handcuffed and thrown together into the back of a paddy wagon. 
 
 After 10 minutes of silent glaring on Harley ’ s part, she finally got Joker to meet her gaze. 
 
 “ Forget all that nonsense. Nothing could ever come between us, ” said Joker. “ You know that, right? ” 
 
 “ I dunno, ” said Harley, wrinkling her nose with a frown. “ It sure didn ’ t feel that way tonight…'' 
 
 Joker looked up, for a moment lost in thought. 
 
 `` If I knew it meant so much to you, I would have given you a ring years ago? ” offered Joker tentatively. 
 
 “ Ooh Pudding ’, do you really mean it? ” 
 
 “ O-of course! ” said Joker. 
 
 “ Oh, I love you Mista' Jay! ” 
 
 “ I love you too, Baa- ahh- aby. Baby.''
