[ WP ] Write a heartfelt love letter to coffee .

You make me poop weird. 
 
 There's not much else to say, really. I shit liquid thanks to you. My stomach rumbles when I've had you and my thoughts race and tumble. I feel like I could do anything but also feel completely incapable. What else could this be but love? 
 
 What else could turn my brain to mush and my bowels into a hose? What else could give me the strength to climb mountains but also quiet and calm my fits? This could only be love. I hate it. 
 
 But I can not hate you. You're so sugary sweet, and your color is perfect. You're never quite the same twice. 
 
 But you make me poop weird. So while I love you so dearly, I can not have you often. Our destiny is only to meet in the occasional cafe, to have a breakfast together once in a while. I am sorry, dearest. You can not live in my home. There is no place for you there. 
 
 But I will have you tonight.
