[ WP ] A company hires the devil to get people and other companies to sign into terrible deals

`` Well, you seem like the perfect person for this job, Mr.... Uh, what what should we call you?'' said Brian Roberts, leaning over the table to shake his interviewee's hand. 
 
 `` You, sir, can call me whatever you like: Beezlebub, Lucifer, Satan, whatever. But I think while I'm on the job it would be best if I go by some less menacing names.'' 
 
 `` Well you're the expert. Now all we need to discuss is your salary.'' 
 
 `` I have no need for a salary as long as you can allow me to throw in the occassional `` burn in Hell for eternity'' clause in some of the contracts.'' 
 
 `` This is Comcast, buddy, that'll be the entire contract!''
