[ WP ] A demon who is really bad at his job keeps accidentally making the person he is possessing 's life better

`` Ugh,'' thought Demon Dave, as he watched Polly smile coquettishly at her boyfriend, Kevin, who tenderly embraced her. Polly should be ankle-deep in entrails right now. `` But no,'' thought Demon Dave, `` I ca n't even get a simple body inversion script right.'' 
 
 Flicking away bunnies and butterflies that kept popping up around him, Demon Dave took stock. At 19,553, he was still young for his job. Possessors were usually a few millennia older and had much more schooling. His choice of skipping college and starting out on his own as a freelancer might have saved him a few bucks, but at what cost? His possessocyte was active in Polly, and he could monitor the progress remotely from his dimension, but everything was so fucked up. 
 
 Demon Dave looked up at his monitor after swiping away a swarm of feral lollipops. Kevin was on one knee and proposing to Polly. `` Fuck this!,'' thought Demon Dave, and his cloven hooves made a few presses on the keyboard. 
 
 The possessocyte within Polly responded, and the sun broke through the clouds, shining brilliant light on the smiling, newly-engaged couple. Furious, Demon Dave executed script after script on his computer, DDoSing the possessocyte. It ran out of control and shut down, but not before filling Polly's bank account with millions of dollars and impregnating her with the next President of the United States. 
 
 Demon Dave banged his head on the desk, only to have the blow softened by a little platypus who hugged him lovingly. This was not going to look good on his Angie's List entry.
