[ WP ] Being a member of a Time Traveling Police Force is not the exciting job you might imagine from the description .

Time travel did something to us. Me? Not much at first. The squad, yeah, over time. But Rooney? Fucking christ, do you really need that tape recorder? Look kid, I know how this goes. You're going to be so fucked at the end of this you'll remember every last detail. Down to the last syllable, alright? Let's get on with this news thing, I already know what you're going to say so I'll just give you the facts. 
 
 I was young and naive when I first joined the force, way back when in 1935. 36? Fuck, New York has come and gone so many times and eras, I forget. It never ends up mattering though. What matters is that I was expecting to jump in and go guns a blazin', always knowing **exactly** where the bad guy was. Shit was n't like that though. See, once time travel began to exist, everyone had it. It's always existed, just low low hush hush. It gets pretty confusing to a stable time dweller like yourself. Anyway kid, it was n't just going back in time to ride dinosaurs into Auschwitz, or any fucking crazy shit the e-tabloids have said. Because time travel makes everything so goddamn complex, we always know what's going to happen. If you change that, it's a paradox, and bam we already knew the outcome so its as if our previous expectation never existed, capiche? 
 
 Anyway, back to Rooney. That's why you're here. Do n't even start, kid, put that hand down. I'll talk here. Rooney was the only guy in the squad who knew more than I did after my several eons of experience. What a tough nut, I tell you. Came from only about ten years ago, pretty good with technology. Me? I'm still adapting. But one day, this case comes across Rooney's desk. And by the look on his face when I saw him glance through it, I knew this was n't going to be easy. Everyone knows what happened next, it was all over the news. Rooney had to shoot the woman as she ran it was the only way for her husband to put down the gun so we could get the kid back. The scenario ended the same way every time in our time scales, which were never, EVER wrong. But how in the fuck Rooney's bullet rolled only a quarter of an inch one way instead of the other, and bam. Now we've got a Homicide and an anomaly. When this shit happens, no way of going back and undoing it. That's the problem with our work. We're locked in once it's go time. And no, I'm not going to explain what the FUCK that means kid, so put your hand down again for Christ's sake. I'll do the talking. 
 
 Rooney took that hard. After he lost the badge, and the gun, he started seeing his alternate futures. That's the one part I do n't have the answers to, kid. I pray I do n't have to go through that. There was one future where he robbed a liquor store while drunk, and accidentally killed a kid, there was another where he drove his car off an overpass while going for groceries, but he lived only to hit a bus full of deaf orphans. It was not good, believe me. I was the only one who knew, as Rooney kept to himself in those last days after the shooting, before the incident.The only time in my life since I joined the force where time stood still. 
 
 He called me that night, July 20th. Ranted to my answering machine for almost an hour of what he said he'd wanted to do, the life he could have lived. I swear, if I had been home and I had picked up the phone, this would all be different. God, damn I'm tearing up. Hey, what did I say? What the FUCK did I say, put the damn box of tissues down. I do n't care if you put this part down in the interview, christ. 
 
 What does it matter anyway? Rooney killed himself that night, and he wo n't even get a proper time-locked burial. Kid, listen to me and listen good. Tell all your little readers or whatever out there, that being a member of the Time Traveling Police Force is not the exciting job you might imagine from the description. It's not all happy times and busting history's villains. Its a goddamn nightmare that you do n't want to experience. It took Rooney, it took me, and it took God knows how many more. You go write down all this, kid, I know you've got all the information. I read your little expose. And do me a favor, huh, use a better font will ya? Ah, what does it matter. You wo n't do it. 
 
 I need a drink.
