[ WP ] Reincarnation is a proven fact , and a device has been invented to determine who someone 's pasts lives were . To your horror , you 've just discovered one of your past lives was ...

I sat in the waiting room. It was painted a dark, maroon color that must have been painted in the early 80s. How the city managed to create a miraculous device that told you who's shoes you were in but failed to upkeep a public retributionist's office baffles me today. The woman sitting at the counter looked like she hated her job. As if, she saw one of her past lives and simply hated- 
 
 `` Mr. Cho. The retributionist will see you now,'' the woman said pointing at me, `` MR. CHO'' 
 
 I looked up blankly and confused and stared directly into the eyes of the bitter woman. 
 
 `` Well Mr. Cho? Are you going to get up or am I going to have to carry you?'' 
 
 `` Sorry uh. Karen is it? I'll go in now'' I said blankly. The woman at the counter looked down again at whatever contraption she was playing with earlier while muttering something I could imagine as an insult. 
 
 I walked through the door into Dr. Gleeson's office and plopped myself onto the blue stool beside the counter. His office reminded me of the white tile bathroom my great uncle john had. The one in which he committed all of his atrocities after he found out he was walking in Obama's shoes. Great uncle john was a great conservative, who would've thought. 
 
 `` Mr. Cho'' Dr. Gleeson said as he walked in, `` I have your test results right here form your last visit. Would you like to take a gander on who used to be in your shoes?'' 
 
 `` I do n't know. Is it something bad? Like Mao Zedong, Hitler, or George Bush?'' I mockingly said, `` Or maybe it's one of the good guys like MLK, FDR, or even George Bush in the eyes of my great uncle John''. 
 
 `` Well, not quite Mr. Cho. Even though your uncle John-'' 
 
 `` Great uncle John'' I corrected him. 
 
 `` *Great* uncle-'' 
 
 `` No emphasis on the great Dr. Gleeson. Unless you think he was a great guy then to that I must say you sir, are sick in the head'' I once again corrected him. 
 
 `` Right, anyways. I'll put your test results on the counter over here and you can take a look at it any time you feel like it.'' Dr. Gleeson said slightly annoyed. 
 
 Dr. Gleeson left the office in respect for my solitude. `` Well'' I proclaimed, `` Here goes nothing. What's the worst that can go wrong? I get a bad name so what? It is n't going to affect my life in any shape or form and if I get a good name it'll be nice to know these shoes were in good hands. Here goes nothing.'' 
 
 I picked up the brown envelope that housed my secret past lives, slowly peeling the adhesive that closed it shut. I loved the sound and feeling of peeling a fresh envelope. The way the little threads of glue break apart as I adjust the amount of force I put into it, art. The envelope opened. I reached in to retrieve the piece of paper, housing the contents of my former's alibis. 
 
 The paper only had one name. 
 
 `` David Cho'' 
 
 I dropped the paper on the cold tile floor. This is n't right. 
 
 `` Dr. Gleeson, there has to be a mistake. There's only one name here. This ca n't be right, I'm still alive. Dr. Gleeson? Dr. Gleeson?'' I said softly in fear of some being able to hear me. 
 
 `` Everything is going to be okay David.'' a soft but stern voice echoed. The voice came from the doorway. A large shady figure pounded his feet against the tiles. `` Actually no, everything is about to go into the shit hole. From yours truly, your great uncle John'' 
 
 And at that moment, I realized it. None of this was real. The maroon walls, the woman sitting at the counter, even Dr. Gleeson. I've been a dead man, far longer than I can remember. Reincarnation? Kid's talk.
