[ WP ] Jesus walks into a bar and sees the devils daughter .

There she is: my forbidden fruit. It's funny, in the Bible they made me sound oh so perfect. How could I have ever truly interacted with mankind if I *wasn't* one of them? I have urges, temptations, needs, and everything else like people. What I think about is my own business. How I act is everyone else's. It sucks when your dad casts out the angel who creates the most desirable daughter. She looks about how the Devil's daughter should look: deep red hair, black mascara, pale, white skin, tattoos, piercings, and such style she has. Already I hear my father telling me to exit immediately before she sees me and tries to tempt me. A nice thing about being Jesus is that you can turn God's voice off like a light. 
 
 `` Well, if it is n't the she-devil herself.'' *Oh. My. Dad. Did I seriously just say that out loud for a pick-up line? She just rolled her eyes so hard they almost fell out. So awkward and stupid. * 
 
 `` Hi, J. Long-time, no-see.'' 
 
 *You would think the daughter of temptation would be dying to tempt the Son of God, yet, she has zero interest in me! * `` Can I get you a drink? What are you having?'' 
 
 `` Fireball mixed with Monster.'' 
 
 `` What?! That sounds atrocious! Why?!'' 
 
 `` Do n't you know that Monster is the Devil's drink,'' she asked with that insanely cute smirk she has. `` And of course Fireball gives it a nice cinnamon burn.'' 
 
 `` Alright then. I guess so.'' I nod to the bartender and he begins mixing one up. `` So how are things going down South?'' 
 
 `` Hellishly.'' *I love how she can keep these conversations around mortals so fun. So in their face but they would never guess. * `` And upstairs?'' 
 
 `` It's the same as always. People chilling out, seeing their families. You know, the fun stuff. You should come up sometime.'' *Wow. I am a genius. Sure,. Invite her up. Let's all have a big family greeting.'' 
 
 `` HA! Yeah, sure. Like your DAD will let me in to the penthouse of existence.'' 
 
 `` Well, just because you're the spawn of his rival does n't mean you *don't* deserve a chance at happiness. I mean, you're human too.'' *Wow. That's smooth. Dang I'm good! * 
 
 `` Uh huh. You tell me how your old man takes that one.'' 
 
 `` *I'll* tell you how I take that one.'' *Oh shit* 
 
 `` DAD! What are you-'' 
 
 `` J, go get in the `` car'' we have things to discuss.'' 
 
 `` Look, you ca n't... Just because...'' *Whatever. This is pointless* 
 
 `` You're damn right it is. Go.'' 
 
 `` Yes. Leave my bar and stay the heaven away from my daughter! Lucy, go to the basement and wait for me.'' *Not him too... * 
 
 `` Daddy don't-'' 
 
 `` Do n't do n't me missy. Go.'' 
 
 *Man this sucks. She gave me one more look before going out the door. You would think the Devil would want the Son of God to be tempted by his daughter. And you probably think being the Son of God is pretty awesome. It would be. If I did n't have to be so... Godly. *
