[ CW ] `` A flash of light , a puff of smoke , and she was gone . ''

She stood in front of everyone, they were so blissfully unaware. Shades of pale blue hung over me. Her eyes crystallised and then began to melt over me again, I felt her staring. I stared back. I traced her caramel skin with my pupils as they sunk into my mind and her voice whipped around me as I lost track of what was real and who was there and why it mattered to be alive, I forget sometimes we're separate. She knew that I was hurting, her presence made my conciousness bleed but it also cleaned the wounds and kissed them all at once. 
 But this time it was different. 
 Everyone was there, I was n't alone. The party was mellowing and fizzling out like the stars do in the morning just above her house, but still some people raised their voice above her face and I absorbed her along with the laughter, the shouting and joking. 
 Confusion soaks through me. She catches it with her tongue,'I have to say goodbye, it had to be now.' 
 Black pain ran through my veins with an unnatural force and into my cheeks as my face formed a twisted, contorted frown. I felt like I left myself for a moment. Tears were pushing with full force behind my eye lids as I struggled to overpower their persistence. 
 I glanced at the people I was surrounded by but I only felt her warmth. 
 People were drinking, laughing, smoking. Behind her Danny put the flame to the bowl and the aroma of nature twirled around her hands as they trembled. Just as his finger abandoned the hole, the sound of sirens pulsed into the room. 
 A room full of teenagers erupted in the thrill of deviance as the police car neared us. It's blue and red shimmer began to rotate across the walls, and the excited, panicked faces. Danny laughed, releasing the pressure in his lungs. 
 I begged her with all my soul, but not my words. I knew I had to let go - it had been a year now. Her visits always filled me with anxiety, but those butterflies reminded me of the first time I felt her hips. How empty I feel without them. 
 
 I watched. With a flash of light, and a puff of smoke, she was gone.
