[ WP ] A professional hitman is offered an unbelievably large sum , and accepts . The target ? His daughter 's fiancé .

Biff helped himself to yet another glass of Burgundy and continued, `` That's pretty much how my whole life is. I guess I am just naturally good at everything.'' 
 
 `` That's very interesting Biff, but tell me... ``, Emily's mother interjected in an attempt to end Biff's 30 minute self aggrandizing monologue. 
 
 Biff continued while massaging Emily's shoulder/upper breast area, `` Like the time I was in Thailand, some friends and I had had just found probably the best beach in the world. The sand was the colour of...'' 
 
 Mercifully the phone began to ring in the other room and both Dad and Mom were on their feet quicker than alert terriers. John, the father, was slightly quicker and Ellen was forced to resume her seat. 
 
 The smile on John's face did n't fade until he realized that the phone call was not for him. It was Ellen's work calling. Derek, a mild bespectacled man he had met many inappropriate times, this was an exception. 
 
 John paused a moment to take a long pull from the bottle of Jamisons in the cupboard and returned to the conversational dental drill in the dining room. 
 
 `` I had no option but hit the shark in the snout. Most people do n't know this about sharks but...'' 
 
 John knew that waiting for a break in the monologue was futile so he over spoke Biff with a loud `` Its for you dear, its Derek.'' 
 
 Ellen perked up in her chair and was out the door before Biff could explain proper modes of hand to fin combat in undersea environments. 
 
 `` Ellen here'', she said while cradling the phone on her shoulder and pouring a tall Jamisons. 
 
 `` Target is a go. Biff Collins, 24, lives 228 West 12th ave. Apartment 230.'' 
 
 `` Is he blond, about 6 feet, medium build with a tribal tattoo on his left arm and the Chinese character for douchbag on his neck?'' 
 
 `` I believe the Chinese character means strength but the rest is correct.'' 
 
 `` Consider it done. ``, Ellen hung up the phone and hurried back to the dining room retrieving a small silenced pistol from the hall closet on the way. 
 
 `` If you want to make a soufflé, I mean a proper French soufflé...'', Biff was cut short by the 9mm solution delivered professionally between the eyebrows. 
 
 Everyone sighed as though an all-day jack hammer in the street had suddenly been silenced, not quite sure if it were really done. 
 
 EDIT: modified punctuation and disposed of some extra words.
