[ WP ] Captain Obvious and Captain Cliché are having a rap battle ...

***CAPTAIN OBVIOUS: FIRST VERSE. *** 
 
 *Check it out. * 
 
 *Man, I'm Captain Obv-ious. * 
 
 *Leaving those subtle heroes env-ious. * 
 
 *Here I stand, in a rap battle. * 
 
 *Still pretty early, but wait for your ass to get rattled. * 
 
 *Who's gon na win? Me or you? * 
 
 *I think we all know who. Me, Captain O.B.V. * 
 
 ***CAPTAIN CLICHE: FIRST VERSE. *** 
 
 *Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh. * 
 
 *You'll win this battle when hell freezes over, * 
 
 *Though, you know, it ai n't until the fat lady sings. * 
 
 *Just wait until that church bell rings. * 
 
 *Ding, ding, church is out. * 
 
 *Mmmm, mom's spaghetti* 
 
 *So tell me, are you ready? * 
 
 *You'd better be gearin' up for the lo-oser's ci-ircle, * 
 
 *Lookin' like Ste-even U-urkel* 
 
 *Get lost, it's obvious who's going to win. * 
 
 ***CAPTAIN OBVIOUS: FINAL VERSE. *** 
 
 *Okay, okay, okay. * 
 
 * Lem me make something clear-er* 
 
 *I'm the rapping mast-er* 
 
 *I do n't usual-ly rap with someone only worth my pity, * 
 
 *Especially when your raps are so shitty, * 
 
 *Since we all know who's gon na be the lose-er* 
 
 *So, if you'd like to take a chance against me* 
 
 *I think it'd be wise to quit, see. * 
 
 *All in all, I think it's obvious that the winner is C.P.T-O.B.V. * 
 
 ***CAPTAIN CLICHE: FINAL VERSE. *** 
 
 *Oh, is that how it's going to be? * 
 
 *Well, you ca n't hold a candle to me. * 
 
 *Try all you want, it's set in stone, no use trying, drop the phone. * 
 
 *All I got ta say is, it's in the cards* 
 
 *My rap is like a kick in the nards. * 
 
 *But wait, there's more! * 
 
 *Listening to you is a chore. * 
 
 *Your verses are a bore. * 
 
 *'' She sells sea shells by the sea-shore'', * 
 
 *Even that's more interesting than you. * 
 
 *One bird in the hand's worth how many in the bush? Two. * 
 
 * Wan na win this battle? Well, shame on you. * 
 
 [ [ **Who won? I'm curious, I tried to keep their rap skills pretty equal, but one character was easier to write than the other. ** ] ]
