[ WP ] Then suddenly the steel felt so cold in my hands

I loved watching her twist and attempt to free herself, her beautiful green eyes filled with determination. She did n't realize I was watching her, watching as she rubbed her wrists together, attempting to loosen the bonds. Watching as she slowly began to give up, her head hanging so that her red hair fell like a curtain down her shoulders. Even from the slightly blurry screen I could see that her skin was starting to sheen with sweat, most likely from stress. 
 
 With familiar movements I made sure I had all my tools: paint brushes, Wartenburg wheel, surgical gloves, needles of varying sizes, piercing needles and rings, matches, candles, clamps. Slowly I picked up the final item, my treasured scalpel. There were many wonderful, and some upsetting, memories that involved the blade. I twisted it slightly, watching the light gleam off the side of it and began to remember the first time I used it. I was a less educated lad then, I had not thought of gagging the toy and she was begging for me to let her go. I recalled the way I held my blade bare-handed, my own eyes tearing up as I really considered I was being a monster. I was able to convince myself that I was wrong, that she was just not able to understand what I was doing, and as she began to cry, the steel felt so very cold in my hand and so very heavy. I almost stopped, almost let her go, but went through it. It was so satisfying to watch the blood flow from her, to hear her scream. 
 
 I smiled, the memory both sad and fond. Sad because of my own fears, but fond because I had gone through and was strong. I glanced one last time at the screen, the girl's shoulders were shaking as if she were crying. I glanced at a few of the other monitors around me, making sure we were still completely alone. The blade was still in my hand as I walked out the door, humming to myself as I went to introduce myself to my new toy. 
 
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 Hi, guys, go ahead and critique this as desired, I love having feedback so I can grow as a writer. Thank you ^-^
