[ EU ] Juliet is 13 years old , and while Romeo 's age is unspecified let 's assume he 's 18 . Write a Shakespearean take on a Chris Hansen style character appearing as Romeo enters Juliet 's room .

*Romeo walks into Juliet's room 
 
 
 [ Romeo ] Oh Juliet where for art thou. 
 
 
 [ Indistinguishable Female ] One will be in your presence in just a single moment my love. 
 
 
 [ Romeo ] One can not wait for you to show one's beautiful face, it must shine like a thousand stars. 
 
 
 [ Christopher Handsome ] Good day sir! 
 
 
 *Romeo taken aback by the gentleman instead of Juliet stumble upon his words and mutters 
 
 
 [ Romeo ] What sorcery is this? You are not my Juliet. 
 
 
 [ Christopher Handsome ] Indeed I am not sir. Do you knoweth upon the reason I am here? 
 
 
 [ Romeo ] My knowledge of this is eerie. 
 
 
 [ Christopher Handsome ] Let me inform you. why does one not taketh a pew upon that seat right there. 
 *Romeo sits down 
 
 
 [ Christopher Handsome ] Well, my good sir, Juliet is only but a child she is 13 years of age and has not bled yet. 
 
 
 [ Romeo ] What, what is this that you speak off? 
 
 
 [ Christopher Handsome ] What age did you think that the fair maiden be? 
 
 
 *Romeo once again stumble for words 
 
 
 [ Romeo ] I was reliably informed of the fact she was of child bearing age. 
 
 
 *Christopher Handsome produces a scroll on which is a letter written to Romeo by Juliet 
 
 
 [ Christopher Handsome ] so you did not receive this, `` Oh Romeo, I can not wait to be in your company, I am not quite of age yet, but soon my love. 
 
 
 *Romeo flushes and after some gargled noises comes out with 
 
 
 [ Romeo ] I must but not have seen this. 
 
 
 *Christopher Handsome shows Romeo a response to this 
 
 
 [ Christopher Handsome ] `` Age is but a number my love, we shall be together forever.'' 
 
 
 [ Romeo ] Well... 
 
 
 *Romeo panics and makes a run for the door, upon exiting he realizes the kings horsemen are waiting for him. 
 
 
 *He grabs a vile of poison out of his pocket and exclaims 
 
 
 [ Romeo ] Good by cruel world, Juliet without you this existence is but meaningless. 
 
 
 *Romeo drinks the poison and collapses to the floor. 

