[ WP ] A person is holding the world hostage . They could annihilate humanity with the push of a button . `` Be Kind . '' is their only demand .

`` You say he has the *entire goddamned planet Earth hostage?! *'' 
 
 `` Yes, sir. It may be a primitive world, but it's an entire intelligent species.'' 
 
 Commander Gruxbii spun to face his informant. `` How the hell did he do that?'' 
 
 `` By planting an antimatter bomb, sir.'' 
 
 Gruxbii sighed. He was n't paid nearly enough for this kind of shit. It was his job, though, and being the commander of an intergalactic SWAT team paid pretty well. `` Get him on the hologram.'' 
 
 `` Yes, sir.'' His informant meekly walked into another room. Gruxbii swung back to face his video screen. Currently, he was looking at pictures of cats on his favorite website, zeddit. 
 
 A feed popped up with only a dark-hooded figure facing Gruxbii. `` You. You're the guy, euhhh, holding Sol hostage, right?'' 
 
 `` That is correct.'' His deep, rumbling voice echoed through the chamber. 
 
 `` Hey, listen. I'm a busy guy; you're a busy guy I'm sure. Lem me negotiate for the humans. What are your demands?'' 
 
 `` Be kind,'' the hooded figure answered. 
 
 `` What do you mean,'be kind?' What kind of a demand is that?'' 
 
 The dark cloak waved his hand, and a video took his place. `` The human race is a violent one. Massive wars constantly throughout their history. In fact, the days without wars in their history are seldom and few in number.'' 
 
 `` Tch, yeah? So they fight every now and then. Big deal.'' 
 
 `` Is it really a'big deal' if millions of innocents are killed? Large-scale genocide and pointless wars over silly things like resources and ideals are n't a'big deal?''' 
 
 Gruxbii paused. How would he negotiate, he wondered. `` Look,'' he started. `` If I get them to be kind, will you release them and deactivate your illegal antimatter bomb?'' 
 
 `` Yes.'' 
 
 `` Good. Then it's settled.'' 
 
 `` Thank you. Now, a new world order can form on Earth, and world peace can fina- *OW FUCK WHAT WAS THAT WHO DID THA-*'' He slumped over. 
 
 Gruxbii turned to his informant. `` Did you do that?'' 
 
 She smiled. `` Yes, sir. I traced the holo-signature to a distant system where, luckily, we had some scouts.'' 
 
 `` Good work. You deserve a raise. Now, get Earth on the line.'' 
 
 ***** 
 
 Blah blah blah, first time poster. I liked this prompt.
