[ PI ] Big Binoculars - FebContest

So, to start with your prose was generally pretty tight and I really like the concept. I liked the way the voice of the journal of Bob seemed to mature as the story went on, which really helped pull me along to different moments in his life. 
 
 I'm not sure I really `` got'' your story, though. There were moments that made me laugh, but others made me cringe. The necrophilia thing, and the way the parent's acted during the car accident really threw me. I think the whole car crash scene was, for me, just gratuitously gory. Maybe you did that on purpose, but it really put me off. Also, I agree with Svansig about Bobby's mother describing Robby as having died from being `` too retarded.'' It seemed like something a child would write, to be fair, but it also made me wonder if that language was supposed to be attributed to Bobby or to his mom in reality. 
 
 I love what you did with the ghosts! I was actually pretty blown away by how seamless that whole aspect of the story felt and I think it says something about your ability, at least in this story, to hold onto my credulity. 
 
 I hope you get better feedback than mine and good luck on your future drafts.
