[ WP ] The Earth is in great danger . Representatives of an alien race arrive to help us , but we refuse to take them seriously due to the fact that their names sound embarrassingly crude in our language .

The Earth was in peril. In fact, she was dying. We did n't have the technology just yet for interstellar travel. We knee the planet we could go to but it was not obtainable. Not yet. We are trying, believe me. I made sure, as President of the United States, that funds were allocated to NASA. We were close, too, but will we make it? 
 
 The storms were getting worse. Nature is trying to heal herself and I do n't blame her. We did this and she is doing all she cam to survive. Like us. 
 
 Then it happened. We received a signal, one that took our best people months to decode. When they did, though, we all laughed. It simply said, `` We are Cunts. We can help your planet in its darkest hour. Rally your subjects. Look for us.'' 
 
 We laughed hard. What was this? A joke? Months. It took months! And for what? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was a hoax. It had to be. How? We did n't know, but it had to be. 
 
 Then they came. First we saw the large mothership, then the smaller ships descended to Earth. I, of course, greeted them. I smiled, `` Welcome to Earth, Cunts.'' 
 
 
 

