[ WP ] Animals have suddenly began to grow extra body parts at an alarming rate .

Hi everybody, and welcome to “ Now You ’ re Cookin ’! ” I ’ m celebrity chef Dave Davidson, and today we have a fresh, wonderful meal for you. 
 
 We ’ re going to start off with my delicious fried shrimp poppers. These things were caught fresh in the wild this morning, I believe somewhere in the Ozarks. You got ta move fast to catch the adults, because they run fast. 
 
 So you want to make sure you remove the stingers – they can be poisonous if not prepared right. Just roll them around in the flour, and drop them into the oil, and they ’ ll be ready in about five minutes. 
 
 Now, our main course today is going to be mesquite-smoked salmon rump roast. These things are great, because they grow like 45 legs, and they get that nice hunk of muscle up in the upper leg that tends to be perfectly marbled. We ’ re going to be using an offset smoker to draw the smoke across, and we ’ ll rub it down with a nice mixture of spices. 
 
 Our side dish is going to be a sautéed quail tail, and the cool thing about these is that when these animals get scared, they shoot the tail at you and then fly away. I mean, who ’ s going to mess with an animal that just chucked its tail at you? Not me. But the cool thing is that means there ’ s an endless supply of quail tail. Have you ever been to the quail tail factory in Texas? It ’ s a lot of fun. They let you scare some of the little guys, and it ’ s hilarious to watch the tails go flying. 
 
 So we ’ re just going to de-scale these tails and chop them up, and we ’ ll sauté them in light oil with some zucchini spears and red potatoes. 
 
 And there you go, a nice meal for a date, or a weekend dinner at home. I ’ d recommend serving with a glass of turtle milk. 
 
 Hey, that ’ s it for this week ’ s episode of “ Now You ’ re Cookin ’! ” I ’ m Dave Davidson. Join us next week when we ’ ll have an entire episode learning about buffalo wings, from how they harvest the wings off the buffalo to how to make the perfect sauce. Bye!
