[ WP ] One day , while petting your cat , you accidentally pull his tail , and it opens up . Inside , there 's a USB connector . You connect it to your laptop , an announcement pops up . -Cat Version : 1.0.0 . Update to 256.3 ?

( I could n't help but go a bit overboard, so I apologize! ) 
 
 The Tube. 
 
 Ah, yes, the Tube. Every day, like clockwork, the disillusioned souls of the cold, miserable city of London pile into the same set of cars, sit in the same boring places, and stare silently, as if the very light has gone out in their eyes. So many people with their headphones in, and their attention-spans turned off. The world seemed very grim, and disconnected, indeed. 
 
 But, one man, one Arthur Brimble, possessed a glimmer of hope. In his hands, he clutched his affects: One Oyster card, and a bag of shopping. Arthur was a simple man, who worked a simple job, and lived a simple life, with an orange moggy named Steve. Watching the lifeless bimble of the passengers on the Tube was, quite frankly, dull as dishwater, but the hopes of arriving home always kept his spirits high. Every evening, upon Arthur's arrival, Steve would be waiting by the door, tail twitching in anticipated excitement of his master's presence. 
 
 Primarily, the feline wanted fed. 
 
 `` Bloody cat,'' grumbled Arthur as he stumbled through the door of his tiny flat, soaking wet from the evening's rain. He set his shopping down on the counter with an exhausted thud, and turned to stroke Steve, who was yowling loudly for a feeding. Opening the bag of'gourmet' cat food, Steve anxiously pacing'round his ankles, the man frowned in a dour manner. He began to peel his damp clothing from himself layer by layer, until he was down to an a-frame shirt, and his pants, and socks. 
 
 `` I do n't know why I bother. I might as well waltz into Johnathon's office, and tell him to get stuffed.'' He groaned, pouring an ample serving for Steve. The cat greedily began to gobble it down, despite the fact he'd been fed such a large amount that morning, and helped himself to the remainder of Arthur's eggs and milk as he left through the door. Steve was a fat cat. Arthur bent down to stroke Steve briefly, before heading off into the living room to settle down on the couch. His gloomy, peevish outlook drew Steve's attention, and the cat followed eagerly, settling down into the man's lap for a good cuddle; Of course, he'd only do this after he'd efficiently cleared out the majority of the food from the bowl. 
 
 He sighed, `` You're the only one who understands me, Steve.'' And sighed again, `` My life is rubbish.'' He rubbed his fingers under Steve's chin affectionately, offering a faint smile to the animal when it tipped its head further into the love, tilting it left and right. `` My boss is a wanker, my coworkers hardly speak to me. Really, they barely even acknowledge I exist.'' He creased up his face, wrinkling his nose with a resigned expression that gave way to the heavy glum beginning to creep up. `` I feel like a pillock. And Sarah, oh God, Sarah! I can hardly even get her to notice me most days, except on the occasion I've accidentally spilled water all over her blouse at the drinking fountain because I've not been paying attention to what I was doing, or stumbled over myself. D'you know, today, I saw a lone Magpie? Ruddy luck, that is...'' He trailed off. Steve simply stared at him, and blinked his eyes slowly. 
 
 Arthur released a calculated breath, steady and drawn out, and pressed his lips into a pensive line. `` You're just a cat, what would you know about being a social reject, whose bad luck follows him about like a black cloud?'' Sleepily, he leaned his head back, and began to run his palm over the curved spine of his cat, who was now purring emphatically. He dug his fingertips in gently along each spinal disc, massaging Steve's back. More and more, sleep began to paw at him - That is, until he heard a click. His eyes snapped open with a surprised expression, and then, quickly twisted into terror. 
 
 Steve's tail had come unhinged from his body, and there it lay in Arthur's lap, blinking vividly, the blue LED glowing brightly. Arthur paused, and then screamed. His scream was high-pitched, much like a young girl in elementary school who has finally met her beloved celebrity crush, but only if that celebrity crush were being mauled to death by a rather large badger. He quickly scrambled up the back of the couch, and ducked behind it, staring at Steve who lay lifeless on the floor, his tail squirming casually, as if still attached. He blinked, rubbed his eyes, and blinked some more. He cautiously reached over the back of the couch, and down near the cushion to grasp for his phone. Hurriedly, in one deft movement, it was in his hands. He stopped. 
 
 `` What am I going to do, call 999?'' He set the phone down, and peered over the couch. Steve was still quite lifeless, and the tail was still very happily wagging on. As if a caveman leaving his hollow for the first time, he crept out from behind the sofa, phone in one hand, and a pair of scissors in the other that he'd calculated with some certainty, might kill the beast if it lunged for him suddenly. `` Okay... okay...'' He breathed raggedly, heart beating wildly out of his chest. `` You can do this, Arthur,'' He urged himself onward, and stopped just short of Steve's disconnected tail. He reached out tentatively with the scissors, and poked it. He yelped slightly when it flickered quickly back and forth, as it did when Steve was annoyed. Again, he glanced to the still moggy on the floor, and then back to the tail, before grabbing it. 
 
 `` What is THIS?'' He gasped, in disbelief, as he saw plain as day, a USB connector poking out of the end of the disengaged limb. His mind began to race, and he fought the urge to faint. He sprinted into the main room, where he'd set his Oyster pass, and groceries, to grab his laptop. Cursing it loudly as it slowly flickered to life, Windows 10 glaring in his face, he logged in, logged on, and carefully plugged the tail in.
