[ WP ] You are a god . Sitting around you are two other gods . Together , you are playing an elaborate card game that causes things to happen around the world in which the gods are playing . What happens ?

**THE BEGINNING OF THE BEGINNING** 
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 Gods do n't have names. Hell they do n't even have faces, hands, feet or any of the other lovely things that they are always depicted as having. So we, dear readers, will have to bend our imaginations just the slightest bit as we continue reading, because otherwise this would have all the makings of a rather boring story, now would n't it. 
 
 One sat in the middle of the sickle-moon table, on the outside edge of course. He was called One not because he had been the first God, but because he was the first player. What kind of an idiot God would name themselves after a number. Two sat on his right. Three sat on his left. One turned to two. Now that the first customary hour of silence had passed on the Clock of Totally Linear Time, One turned to Two. 
 
 `` Are you sure you want to play another game of Planetary Shenanigans, Two?'' 
 `` Why yes I am, One'' said Two. Three nodded, indicating that he would also like to play, and scored himself a few extra points for being the last to break the silence. 
 
 `` It's still raining diamonds in the second half of the solar system, and we played that game over five hundred years ago.'' One said. Three laughed, losing the points he had earned to One, but he did n't care. That diamond rain had been the funniest thing to happen since the monkeys had learned how to play with fire. Two shuffled and cut the deck. One cut the deck. Three cut the deck. Now that the deck had been conveniently sliced into eight tiny decks, the game could begin. One pulled out the Pack of Interplanetary Decision cards, and dealt one to each member. 
 
 `` Venus'' said Two. 
 
 `` Mars'' said One. 
 
 ``'' Mercury'' said Three. One had to double his points and give them to Two. Three could then take any number of points from Two that he pleased. He took none. 
 
 Each god took one of the tiny packs, stretching them until they were at least normal size. The game started. Three placed two cards facedown. Two followed with five cards. One placed a single card. `` Shenanigans!'' said Three. One flipped the last five cards. Royal Flush. 
 
 `` Oh come on!'' said Three. Now he had to roll the Infinitely Sided Dice of Limited Possibilities. One took half the points from Two, which he doubled and doubled again. Three rolled the dice. `` Lucky'' said Three, staring at the result. Mercury suddenly had it's rotational speed increased, allowing Three to score a few points again. One opened, placing twelve cards, blind, down on the table. Two waved his hand, indicating a pass. Three dropped another five and said `` Call it.'' One sacrifced points to Three so that he did n't have to. Now they had to draw a new card from the Pack of Interplanetary Decision cards. 
 
 `` Neptune'' said Three. 
 
 `` Pluto'' said Two. This resulted in Two taking a point-penalty, as Pluto was rather uncertain about it's own planetary status, which affected it emotionally. One stared at the card he had flipped. 
 
 `` Alright you jokers, who put Earth in the pack?'' Both of them had faces chisled from the finest venitian marble. One knew that it was one of them, and strongly suspected it was Two, but calling him on it without proof would cause him to lose points. `` I thought we agreed to stop playing Earth in the deck after that asteroid nearly wiped the planet out.'' Three sniggered at this, costing him a couple points to One again. One was quite happy with the lead he was developing. He was quite unhappy with the number of points he would have to spend during the game to keep Earth alive. The Clock of Totally Linear Time chimed three. This indicated that another customary hour of silence was beginning. Two burnt his pack, casting the ashes into the centre of the table. Three responded by turning his pack into Two's pack. This cost him a few points but allowed him to play a thriteen card straight and two full games of gin rummy, which earned him four times as many as he had lost. One looked at his hand. He gave half the deck to Two and the other half to Three. `` Jack'' he said, pointing to the only card that Three had left. It was a queen, which was what One had been hoping for. This allowed him to shift the result of the Infinitely Sided Dice of Limited Possibilities to one of the other two planets. He rolled the dice. Since Two had burnt his pack, Three was forced to give his card to Two, which was then played with the rest of One's pack. `` Oh shit,'' said Three. Pluto had temporarily turned into a black-hole, following the roll of the dice. This meant that Neptune was slowly being reduced to a string of atoms and eaten. Two exchanged point totals with Three. The Clock chimed four, causing One and Three to lose the sum of all the points in the game plus one divided by the number of players. Pluto reverted back to its planetary state. 
 
 On Earth, some of the more astrophysically inclined of the scientists were in what could only be desribed as a mindless panic. Not only had Pluto suddenly developed near-infinite mass, it had somehow started to consume Neptune across the distance of the entire solar-system without affecting anything else. 
 
 Three played out the cards he had left. One reached to draw a planet, but Two sacrificed his points to One to prevent the draw. One was now convinced that it had been Two that had smuggled Earth back into the pack. They each took a new pack, and continued play. Two played out his entire deck. All aces pretending to be kings, a strong combination. This allowed Two to invoke the Rule of Terrible Supernatural Consequences, which would affect each planet-card held by the players. Two took the Multifaceted Gem of Cursed Horrors from its box and prepared to roll. Here Three played his entire deck. Kings and Queens. He then took the opportunity to shuffle the played hands together, dealing the first ten cards. All twos. This meant that he could take the Gem from Two, as well as the points. Before this Two and Three had to redraw planetary cards.
