[ WP ] Without warning , a national news station broadcasts its emergency `` End of the World '' tape , and cuts to static .

The news anchor's face was slick with sweat and his hands fidgeted uncomfortably. It was a remarkable departure from his usual six o'clock bulletin composure. The bulge of his adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. 
 
 He began talking, his voice surprisingly steady despite his tense demeanour. He opened with the disclaimer that this was not a live broadcast, and that everything in this message had been recorded at the start of the year. He spoke of the rising tensions between the United States and the Sino-Russian federation, of the growing web of treaties and alliances on every continent, of the failed attempts by disarmament groups to curtail the exponential growth horde of nuclear stockpiles across the world. He spoke of religious fanatacism pushed to the limit, of mistrust and xenophobia reaching a fever pitch, of the frenzied hunts for oil reservoirs that grew more and more frequent as reserves steadily shrank. 
 
 He spoke of a world balanced on the edge of a pinhead. 
 
 `` This message was recorded in case the worst should ever befall our nation,'' he said. `` If you are hearing this, then fear has finally overcome rationality, and a nuclear war is already in progress. I repeat, if this message is being broadcast, our country is facing imminent destruction by nuclear weaponry. Most likely, the first strike has already been launched. 
 
 `` God willing, it was not our own who struck the first blow, and if it was, then may He have mercy on their souls.'' 
 
 He swallowed one last time, and as suddenly as it began, the broadcast dropped off the air. 
 
 Silence. The partygoers had each lapsed, one by one, into horrified, mute attention. Now that the broadcast was over, the abscence of noise in the apartment was quite profound. 
 
 Then the screaming started. 
 
 It was started by the young lady closest to the television set, then spread throughout the room like wildfire. There was a sound of a smashing glass dropped in disbelief, then a thud as the owner shortly followed it to the floor. One of the likely lads playing beer pong in the back flipped over the table and started smashing it apart with his forehead, bellowing incoherently. 
 
 The screams and shrieks intensified in pitch as the host of the party ran towards the balcony and dove over the balustrade. His girlfriend charged after him, howling in grief, then threw herself down as well. Someone had pulled out a sack of heroin and had begun snorting themselves into unconsciousness, not bothering with a needle in order to expedite the process. When his body slumped to the floor, his buddy grabbed the supply and carried on his work. 
 
 No less than three spontaneous orgies had broken out in different corners of the apartment. One participant began choking the woman he was mounting, another screamed as their partner's teeth closed around their genitalia. A man stumbled out of the kitchen, his arms drenched to the elbow in red, cackling hysterically. A severed leg flew out the door and clocked him on the back of the head. 
 
 Smoke rose from a corner of the room as the inevitable fire started. It began slowly, creeping along steadily, blackening the mahogany floorboards. Some edged away from it as it advanced across the apartment, others still gave it no heed. Finally, it closed upon the leg of the first victim, still mid-coitus, who began shrieking like a wounded animal. Rather than flee, she turned round and plunged headfirst into it, rolling around as the flames consumed her greedily. She laughed, then screamed, and then her howling grew in volume until finally she was laughing again. 
 
 In the midst of the manic, cacophonous bedlam, no one noticed the screen of the television set flicker back into life. It was the same news anchor as before, wearing a different suit but a possibly even more harangued expression. 
 
 `` Dear viewers,'' he began again, `` this broadcast is actually live. There is no oncoming nuclear holocaust. We apologise for the previous transmission, which was in fact the result of a practical joke. I repeat, nuclear war is not imminent, any previous messages were played by a lone technician in our control room. Said individual's contract with us has now been terminated...'' 

