[ WP ] Humanity realizes the Universe is actually a simulation so out of spite it decides to concentrate its effort on messing with the civilization that does the simulation

No one could ever explain *sleep*. It just made no sense. In the cutthroat, dog-eat-dog world of evolution, why would predators and prey alike simply stop moving for about a *third* of their day? How did *that* ever make it through the natural selection gauntlet? And not just stop moving: *close their eyes*. You might as well serve them up on a dinner platter. It made no sense. And even with all of our advanced medical knowledge, there was never really a clear reason for why it happened. All we knew was that we'd all go mad if we did n't do it regularly. 
 
 Then, one New Years, it started to make sense. Countries along the Pacific Rim decided to ring in the new decade with a joint celebration, where people across the world would call each other and wish each other a happy new years. Citizens in Asia were asked to stay up late, while those in North America were asked to get up early. It was supposed to be a kind of `` worldly togetherness'' movement that just happened to require most of the world to be awake at the same time. 
 
 Dr. Albert Hansen of the University of Melbourne was the first to document the lag. He noticed his own sluggish response times, but was feeling wide awake. And he was also one of the primary researchers seeking to prove that our universe is really just an advanced computer simulation of sometime in the future. So, he wired himself up to a brain monitor and performed a few tests, realizing that the signals themselves were going far slower than they really should. 
 
 The argument is that at some point, computers will be so advanced that even simulated humans will be so perfectly replicated that they wo n't be any different from a *real* human. And because a simulation can be run any number of times, it's *infinitely* more likely that we're just the product of some computer's exercise. And that the program could finish at any time, snuffing us all out instantly. Dr. Hansen theorized that too many of us being awake simultaneously caused the *entire universe* to lag. 
 
 `` OK!'' the voice announced over the loudspeaker. Erecting a worldwide broadcasting system had taken a gargantuan public effort, but why not? Later tests that tried to replicate the New Years Phenomenon had pretty firmly proven Dr. Hansen's theories. Humans had nothing to lose, knowing that the simulation could be nearly done. `` Now, everyone run in place while simultaneously shouting at the top of your lungs!'' Scientists theorized that the human brain was of course the most taxing part of the simulation, and making it perform multiple functions at once would stress the computers to the point of breaking. That's why it made us sleep: so that at any given time, a third of the population would n't be doing anything, resulting in far less strain on the system. But if *everyone* on Earth was constantly processing audio while simultaneously using their own voice and controlling their muscles... 
 
 It was like running through pudding. My feet were hitting the ground a good four or five seconds after they should have, and my own voice sounded warped and slurred. Just a f̠̻ͦͬͫ̈́̂͊e̯͖̰̼͚w̏̔̎ͬ̀̅ ̗̤̺͍̼̯̻̔̂̅̈m̱̯͕̼̅̆̎̋̀o̱͕̤̣̒r͚̯͈̳ͭ͆̃̾̒̍ͥe͔̤̮̝̟̥̬̍͛͐ͤ́͋ ̩̝̲͍̰̑̾̐̑s͖̲̜͉e̙̺̻͈̜̮̋̐̊c̞͍̱ͣ͋̂͌̒o̺̬̭̅̓n̖̰̤ͨ́ͮͥͪd̜̈͑̒̈́ͧs͇̲̖̞̘͛̑ͣ̊ͬ s̤͖͗̋ͥh̟̪͋̂ͨͤ̓o͈̜̳͇̰̍̄̋̓ͬu̗͆ͪ̚l̥͔̹͆d͖̦͎̳̙̠̓̏ͨͥͬͥ͊͛ ̙̯͚̞̯͍̦̝͆̓͂ͮ̂̔̊́ṟ͕̥̘ͫ̿̋̽̌e̫͆ͭ͑ͫ̈̏ͅa͍̻͔̬̳͈̍ͥ̈́̚l̙̤̫̰̤̙̄̑̎ͪͮ̊̀l͖͍̲͆́y̖͎͉͍̖ͧ́͊ͭ̔̓ ̮͍̗̩̘̅̎̾̆ͥ̽̏d͚͕̠͉̫̰ͤ̄̌̍͂͊ͅo͔͇͓̬͉̘̫̞͑̎̍ ̣͖̭̺͉͕̣̙͒t̲̻̫̼͇̮͎̉h̝̜̘ͮe̹̫͍͎̖ͥ̐̑ͬ̓͛̐t̲͍̹̯̦̬ͮ̂̓̎͒ͪ͐̇ͥ͐̆͋̃̂̆̔ͫ̉r̦̹̯̯̩̬͇͚̹͖̀̂̔̋̑i̮͙͙̖̊̽ͣ͑̌ͬͥ̈́c̰̬̲̦̰̫͔̻̙̩̩̖͕̳̠̑͛̋̏̅͒̎͂̆ͩ̚ͅk̮̭̳̲̟͎̜̞͙̔̋̾ͣͯ͂̓̃̅̿̏! ̼̥̣̞͔̲̥͖̣̗̀̈ͪ̉̊̑̀̋̏̊͐̒͑ 
 
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