[ WP ] A story about the end of stories .

`` What do you mean, there's no more?'' 
 
 `` I'm sorry, Mr. Ganders, but your play has been rejected for publication. There are rea-'' 
 
 `` But I researched it, to your board's approval! The story was substantively unique. You *agreed* Mister Palesworth, you *yourself* signed the Clearance to Proceed. I have your approval-'' 
 
 Palesworth forstalled him with an upraised hand. 
 
 `` Our *provisional* approval, Mister Ganders. Look, I'm sorry but you're not the only one to receive this news, Mister Ganders. There are several hundred thousand fully licenced storymakers who are being told the same thing. Well, over the next few days.'' 
 
 Palesworth dropped his hand, sighed a note that rang only slightly false in Gander's ears. 
 
 `` It's a sad thing, Mr. Ganders, but it's true. All the stories have been told, and we own the rights to them. We've checked. Over and over again. Both statements are true. And after long discussions, the publishers have decided that as all possible stories have been told, there's no reason to have to tell them all over again, is there? I mean it would... think of how the shareholders would react! It would be a legally indefensible act to throw their money away like that. So we're letting you go.'' 
 
 Ganders, voice laced with wry disbelief said `` You're... you're firing me. From writing.'' 
 
 `` No no Mister Ganders, not at all. We just do n't... well we just do n't require your product any more. We've got them all. All of them. Again,'' Palesworth said with a slightly patient air, `` we checked. *Thoroughly*. Well I suppose you could change the names of the main characters or something but we have algorithms to do that. In fact it was the algorithms that told us we had them all. Funny thing, that. Yea. `` Palesworth smiled happily for a second before collecting himself. 
 
 `` So the long and short of it is we just do n't need you any more.'' 
 
 `` Because you own all the stories.'' Ganders said, absently. To Palesworth, it seemed that he was looking off into another dimension. It was unsettling. 
 
 `` In a nutshell yes, that's right,'' Palesworth said, clearing his throat loudly and putting on a patient air, `` but do n't think we're not just as surprised as you, oh no we're all still a little at sea over this. Several people have mentioned feeling queasy. I mean if it were n't for the spreadsheets I would n't believe it either.'' 
 
 `` Spreadsheets,'' Ganders repeated, a touch of heat rising in his cheeks. 
 
 `` Yes, spreadsheets. Frightfully complicated ones I'll admit but once you got a handle on how to read them it just sprang out at you. All possible permutations have been covered. Really. Japanese crocodile hunter in the tenth century?'' 
 
 Palesworth playacted searching a list on a clipboard, theatrically ticked an imaginary box while somehow looking simultaneously pleased for having come up with a random premise. 
 
 `` Yep, got it.'' Tick. `` In the fourth century? Five of'em.'' Tick tick tick tick tick. `` The sixth?'' Tick. `` How about prehistory?'' Tick. `` Or the future, or on another planet, or some medieval fantasyland, `` Palesworth mimed ticking boxes at a maniacal speed, `` or whatever, Mister Ganders. They're there.'' 
 
 Palesworth sat back heavily in his overstuffed chair, looking hard done by. 
 
 `` You're a researcher, you know how hard it's been for, what decades now to find new ones. Did n't you see it coming? I mean the writing was on the wall, was n't it Mister Ganders?'' 
 
 Palesoworth nestled a tad, a smug air threatening to condense around him. He waved his raised palms slowly outward, shrugging as he did. 
 
 `` What can we do? What can we do Mister Ganders but accept it and move on. They're done. *You're* done. It's sad to say but there it is. You can expect a handsome severance package in a couple of weeks. You've done particularly well by us Mister Ganders, four best sellers I think it was, was n't it. So yes, we'll do well by you.'' 
 
 Ganders smiled. `` You think owning them will shut people's mouths? Stop story-telling? We-'' 
 
 `` No, Mister Ganders, we expect to continue to make a lot of money suing people who tell those stories illegally. It's a not insignificant part of the plan. Now you scurry off to whatever it is you plan to do with the rest of your life. Not all lives end happily, Mister Ganders. Your lot taught us that.'' 
 
 The sounds of the shoes padding on thick carpet and the door closing softly was immensely pleasurable to Mr. Palesworth. 

