[ WP ] `` You , sir , clearly do not understand my current predicament . ''

With twelve cups of coffee in him, as well as last night's four loaded baked potatoes, Michael's drive home turned into a race for the finish line. All batters were on deck and pushing for the plate, the bases were loaded with cheese and bad decisions, and the slow roars of the crowds objections were growing louder. 
 
 Driving home going five over the speed limit, Michael did his absolute best to keep his concentration and favorite pair of underwear intact. 
 
 `` uh oh'' 
 
 Michael's stomach started to bubble and gurgle. He hit the gas and pushed it to sixteen over. He was so close to home. 
 
 And then the lights flashed into his rear-view mirror. 
 
 `` SHIT'' he shouted to himself for for various reasons. 
 
 After what felt like an eternity, the officer approached the window of his car. 
 
 `` License and registration please.'' 
 
 Michael handed him the papers. 
 
 `` Do you know how fast you were going?'' 
 
 `` I'm sorry sir but this is urgent. I need a-'' 
 
 `` You, sir, were clocked doing nearly fifty-five miles per hour in a residential. That's almost worthy of some jail time. Now is not the time for your excuses.'' 
 
 `` You, sir, clearly do not understand my current predicament.'' 
 
 Michael's stomach let out an audible growl as his face turned green. 
 
 He had to make a choice. And either way, he was gon na be in some deep shit.
