[ WP ] It 's the end of the world . Eldritch gods and monsters are awaking to end life as we know it . All because we got rid of mosquitos and now there is no one to perform the blood sacrifices .

The great fires rained down upon the city near me, and in between my screaming like a frightened child ( Which I was, mostly ) and running for cover, I formulated a plan. Before I lost my sanity, I would take a boat out to the giant tentacly mass about a mile offshore. 
 
 Funny. I bought a beachside condo so it would keep it's value, but here I am in the middle of the actual apocalypse. Best not to focus on property values right now, I guess. More important things were at hand. 
 
 In the midst of screeching and smaller, less tentacly things roaming about the streets, I took a moment to remember all the weird garbage my dad had insisted would happen should I mess with the `` other side of the great veil,'' which I had always assumed as him telling me not to get drunk and mess with Ouija boards, which I had followed. 
 
 But lo and behold, someone had. And the things on the other side of the veil were angry, and also probably very slimy. 
 
 By the time I had already sorted out all the shenanigans running about my mind, I had almost reached my home. I ran in, made sure the cat had food and that my nephew had taken out the kitty litter after he left. ( He and my brother visited from time to time. They usually stayed in the guest bedroom and mine, while I slept on the couch. It's a very comfortable couch. ) 
 
 Upon seeing that all was in order, and that my precious fluffer buddy was safe, I grabbed the boat keys and ran down the dock I shared with my neighbor. 
 
 Boats, however, are not usable when the majority is missing. I make a mental note that if I survived this, I should see if meteor insurance was a thing, because if this ever happened again, God knows I would need it. Possibly Gods, considering what's going on. 
 
 In a strange stroke of luck, though, I remembered the dinghy I had borrowed once from my neighbor, years ago, and never returned. I was going to, I swear. 
 
 Did n't matter now, though. He was dead, probably. 
 
 After having dragged the craft to the shore, I promptly began scurrying away. I did n't fall, surprisingly, considering how turbulent the surf was. 
 
 After reaching a safe distance from the great eternal terror ( Fifteen yards ), I cupped my hands and let out the most loud and strained scream I had ever made. 
 
 `` HEY, YOU BIG OLD CALAMARI ASSHOLE. WHAT GIVES?'' 
 
 The mass of angry water appendages turned to face me and, in a booming voice, screeched something about the great cleansing of the Hkardkahi. 
 
 `` WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?'' 
 
 In a slightly less booming and much more understandable voice, it replied that they were the sacred ones who were to sate the blood-appetite of the infinite ones so that humanity did not have to, and that my forebears had signed a great pact with the endless ones so that we did not have to suffer much. It also asked me to stop yelling. 
 
 I realize now that everything my father had told me was stupid and that something dumb was probably about to happen. Just as I put two and two together, I heard the great voice once again, asking me if I was familiar with what was called, in my tongue, mosquitoes. 
 
 I just about shat my drawers. 
 
 `` THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?'' 
 
 Yes, of course, it replied, and then asked me what I thought it was about. 
 
 `` IF WE BRING YOU THE GATES WILL YOU STOP THIS?'' 
 
 No, probably not, it said. 
 
 `` PLEASE?'' 
 
 Silence, fool mortal, it replied. 
 
 `` WOW. JERK.'' 
 
 And I dingy'd away, now furious about the stupid octopus jerk that was ending the world over mosquitos. 
 
 At least my cat was ok.
