[ WP ] You are walking on the street , when you suddenly feel a zap and hear an automated voice announcing , `` Universal Translator repair needed . '' You soon come to realize you are the only human that actually speaks english .

*Universal Translator repair needed. * I did n't even realise there *was* a Universal Translator. Whatever, it was just a zap. I'll just head down to the shop and get it fixed. It's on this street here, Forest Lane. Except this sign does n't say `` Forest Lane''. *Waldstraße*. Brilliant. A woman was walking down the street. `` Ma'am, could you please tell me where I am?'' 
 
 `` Pardon? Pourriez-vous répéter celà, s'il vous plait?'' *I do n't speak French either. What the hell is going on? *. My next interaction was with one of my coworkers. `` Excuse me, where are we? Which way's a tech repairman?'' 
 
 `` Lo siento, no hablo englés.'' *What? I've been working with him for at least 3 years, he's got ta know some English. * `` Alright, stop messing with me. Where's. The. Shop?'' 
 
 `` seriamete! No puedo hablar englés! porqué tu continuas hablar lo a me?'' 
 
 And my further interactions were the same. *Je ne parle pas Anglais. Ich spreche kein Englisch. Jeg taler ikke engelsk. 我不会说英语. Mi ne parolas la anglan. Ez dut ingelesez hitz egiten. Ní Bearla agam. मैं अंग्रेजी नहीं बोलता. * Everyone I tried to talk to, from strangers to known friends. 
 
 Finally I found the shop. *Technologie-Reparaturwerkstatt*. Great, not even here can I find English. I gestured to the woman running the shop. `` Excuse me, I believe my Universal Translator is broken.'' 
 
 `` Was ist das für eine hässliche Sprache! Oach, ich hoff' ich muss sie nie wieder hören!'' 
 
 `` Do. You. Speak. Any. English?'' 
 
 `` Englisch? Nö.'' *Damnit. * 
 
 I grabbed my Universal Translator device out of my ear. I pointed it at the woman. `` Das. Das must you repairen.'' By some miracle the woman understood my horrendous fake-German gibberish. 
 
 `` Kann das tun. Das wär' fünfundsechzig Dollar.'' 
 
 `` Ich no speaken Dootch''. The woman wrote the numbers down on a paper. 65 bucks. A bit ridiculously pricey. Nevertheless, my ability to communicate with human beings was worth the money. She pointed at the clock -- the minute hand was at 15 -- and then pointed from the 15 to the 45. *Okay, thirty minutes. * 
 
 Thirty minutes passed. Finally the lady yelled something and held my device up. I put it back in my ear. `` Thank you for your service.'' 
 
 `` You're welcome.'' What a relief to hear English words again. I left the shop. 
 
 *** 
 
 I used google translate for a lot of those languages, and my Spanish spelling is rusty.
