[ WP ] Humans are colonizing Mars after discovering extinct life , despite not knowing how the life had died off . There is one man , though who thinks he knows what , or who , ended life on Mars the first time .

Listen to me very carefully, I do n't have much time left. I do n't know who you are, I do n't know what they have told you already, but you have to listen to what I am about to say. My name is Simon Cole, I am a professor of Historical Linguistics at University of California Berkeley. We are n't allowed to be here. If we stay they are going to find out. It may be too late, they might already be on their way, but I ca n't know that. I have to believe there is still a chance to get out of this. You have to tell them, have to convince them. Whoever you are I hope you are important, no offense, but I hope to god you are not some fucking space janitor picking this up trying to listen to the ball game on his radio. You have to get them to pack up this whole operation, all of it, we can leave no trace that we were ever here. We have to scurry back to Earth and find a nice big rock to hide under because if they catch us we are gon na be exterminated. I do n't just mean you and me friend, I mean everybody. 
 
 *heavy breathing* 
 
 Wow. I'm sorry. Look, I know this probably sounds crazy. If we were on Earth I would tell you to Google my name to see for yourself that I am who I say I am, but of course you ca n't do that out here so I'm going to try the next best thing. If you are listening to this now I can only assume that you have access to a computer of some kind, either with you or nearby. Access the Rednet and run a search on my name, Dr. Simon Cole. You will find a report, written by me, it will show you my credentials, and it has an audio file with my voice. Listen to it, match the voices, then you will know its me. Its um getting hard to breathe so I am going to take a break for a minute while you search. I'm going to use this time to make sure I fully appreciate the irony of the fact that Google spent 50 billion dollars sending us here, and the one thing I desperately need and do n't have is a fucking search engine. 
 
 *some laughter, then scratching noises, microphone scraping, more heavy breathing, a chuckle, coughing, a very long pause* 
 
 
 Hello? Hi. I ah, I must have um lost ah lost it there for a second its very dark, I think I threw up. Yeah oww I did, fuck my head is killing me. I ah where was I? Yes. Ok. Um the recording. You should have listened to the recording and seen my credentials. You know who I am, why I was sent here, my research. They found something ahh, found something down here that should n't be here. We thought it was just plant and umm animal life, and thats true, but not *just* plants, not *just* animals. They were here, and we were. They are us and we are them. Oh I wish I had more time to tell you... 
 
 *more coughing* 
 
 Im umm almost out of time now I think. Listen its not them, not us, it's the other ones, they watch this place. A million years ago we were here, well *they* were here, I guess we are them now, but we were n't supposed to be. Be here I mean. This sun, *the* Sun, it belongs to them, to the other ones, the bad ones and they found out. 
 
 *gasping, a groan of pain, and then a chuckle* 
 
 But they hid us here umm wait no not here..., they hid us there. They hid on Earth, they did n't tell. We have to leave now, they watch this place, watch Mars, only its not called Mars anymore, Simud is its name. If we do n't umm if we dont leave now the whole human race is gon na get goosed. 
 
 *delirious laughter* 
 
 That's an interesting word you know.'Goosed', it's derived from the ancient Germanic word'gos' of course, which became'gans' in the Dutch. It was n't even a real word 50 years ago. 
 
 *more chuckling* 
 
 It was slang, fucking teenagers invented it, and now 50 years later it's in the Oxford fucking Dictionary. 50 years! my god that's fast. It took hundreds and thousands of years for ancient languages to do that. Did you know that? A million years to get from them to us. 
 
 *A faint alarm in the background, gasping now* 
 
 Took them a million years, we did it in 50. 
 
 *silence*
