[ WP ] You have been found `` not guilty '' of a crime you DID commit

A million times the gavel came down and a million and one times I was guilty. Did I care? Yes. Did I deserve it? Yes, well, I mean I was guilty... but that's not the same thing is it? 
 
 As my mind raced and my imagination sent me down again and again I realised I was forgiving myself. These small, imagined reparations were easing my guilt and allowing me some respite. I indulged myself yet again and hated myself for it. 
 
 The seat they put me on in court was uncomfortable and the air conditioner was running too high. Her family were there, all warm in their coats with their tears and their comfortable hate. 
 
 The gavel fell and the mouths in the room filled with air. 
 
 I walked out some days later, alone and free. I sat on the corner and I had a sandwich and a coffee. I breathed her air and I ate her sandwich. I drank her coffee and I read her time on my watch. For 5 minutes I lived in the space reserved for her life. 
 
 That was months ago and I do n't live in her space now. It was n't really hers after all, did she deserve it? Probably not, I will probably make better use of it. 
 
 Edit: I thought I should note that I am aware this is shoddy as hell. I am trying to experiment with a few things and, so far it needs work ha. Also, gavel not gable!
