[ WP ] Write the letter that you always wanted to , but never did .

Hi grandpa. 
 
 It seems kinda funny, writing to you in a reddit post. There's so much I want to say and yet words ca n't capture it. I miss you. Your sudden death after your fall shocked me. I feel like everyone expected it, and yet I never saw it coming. I was too optimistic. I'm so glad I visited you in hospital though -- it gives me some sense of closure at least. And I got to see you, talk to you and laugh with you the day before you fell, and the ambulances came. But there's so much I still had to talk about, stories you needed to reretell and questions I needed and wanted to ask -- about your youth, your time in the REME and your adult life -- I only knew you for a fraction of it, and there's so much I do n't know. 
 
 Visiting Barry, your childhood city and final resting place was nice, too. But seeing your grave, your name, one of several, on one of thousands of headstones dotting the commercialised, sellout of the crematorium was sad, and humbling. I felt like that degraded you -- you were just one of the billions who passed before you. I do n't believe in an afterlife -- and it breaks my heart to think that one day, I will be old, hardly remember or care about you, and when I pass, no one will know your name, your laugh or your stories. That'll be your so-called'second death'. 
 
 And it frightens me, that you, me, mum dad and everyone will experience that. I'm scared of that, and I'm sad, because I can no longer hug you -- as you're dressed in suspenders, a bleached white shirt and your trademark hat. You smelt like grandpa -- your house in Herne Bay was testament to that smell -- and that's gone now too. 
 
 The memories are fading. 
 
 And that scares me. 
 
 I love you, grandpa.
