[ WP ] A man leaves his nightly shower with the thoughts and ideas on how to change his life , except this time his conviction is maintained after he opens the shower door .

I opened the shower door and the cold was upon me. A lifetime of long Eastern winters had hardened my body, yet I was always taken aback at that first gust of cold air after the steam from my shower had dissipated. It did not matter that I was in California where the weather could have kept me in shorts every day, that gust still sent shivers down my spine. 
 
 As I toweled off and got ready for my show later that evening, I was in awe. I was finally going to do it. I had wasted so many years wanting this from afar, and I was finally ready to take it. No more tears. No more needless explanations. This was my time. I would finally overcome my fear and conquer my demons. 
 
 Despite being in an isolated bathroom, I could tell that the house was strangely quiet. There always seemed to be something going on in my family, but for some reason I heard nothing. 
 
 I decided that the youngest kids must in school, and everyone else at work. I knew my wife was home, but she was probably passed out, too much vodka. That was no problem, I was already ready for the show and I knew she would want to share in this experience with me. Hopefully she would be awake once I got home and had time to take my costume off. 
 
 I reached for the door handle, eager and anxious to finally begin my new, normal life. I told myself that if I could make it through Med School, I could make it through this. This would not even be the most radical change I had ever made. I had switched careers before, why could I not switch something so simple? 
 
 I opened the door and I saw her. My wife was not passed out, far from it. She was kneeling on the edge of our bed wearing nothing but a tiny red tank top that said `` Slut'' across the chest. 
 
 I had to have her. It had been so long. I had been questioned so many times. But I was ready. My God, I was ready to ravage my wife. The show be damned! This had to happen now. 
 
 She looked at me and smiled. She then winked and pat on the bed right beside her. I knew I had to sit. 
 
 `` You're looking marvelous tonight, dear'' she said. 
 
 `` You're not looking to bad yourself, my lady'' I slyly replied. 
 
 `` Why do n't we get comfortable?'' 
 
 `` I thought you'd never ask.'' 
 
 We embraced. It was beautiful. It had been so long. But this was not my ultimate goal. I had to maintain my focus or else I might prematurely shoot my wad. 
 
 I began to take off her pants. 
 
 `` Are you sure? You've still got your makeup on'' She asked. 
 
 `` I've never been more sure of anything in my life.'' 
 
 `` But what about your pants?'' 
 
 `` Lindsay, tonight the world will officially have one less never-nude.'' 
 
 It was glorious. Lindsay made me feel things that night that I thought were only possible while on Teamocil. Most importantly though, I had conquered my fear. No longer would I need jean shorts to effectively hide my thunder. I was going to be alright. 
 
 As we lay in bed that night, our faces both streaked with blue makeup, I realized that I never needed the jean shorts. What I had really needed all along was hair plugs. 

