[ CW ] Show me an alcoholic , without using the word alcohol ( or related words ) .

It's like anything really. You wake up, you saunter and struggle through the day. You slip in to an unconscious state and start the whole routine again. At this point, it is n't life. It is n't even existing. 
 It is surviving. 
 The only difference is, that the one thing that is stopping you from living is the one thing that you just ca n't fucking live without. 
 You had reality once. You had it and you drowned it. You did n't want to drown it. You were forced to. You were forced to because you made a bet with yourself that you would n't ever get to the stage when you would drown your own reality. And you lost the bet. 
 You keep fighting the fight. Against no one but yourself. And one of you is losing. Sometimes you care. But you care less and less now. 
 If you could end it, then you would. But you are a coward and you lost. You are n't getting out now. 

