[ WP ] Write a murder from the perspective of a cheerful inanimate object

I always knew I was meant for great things. All the way back at the factory I was always just a little different than everyone else. I like to think I'm special. One of my proudest moments was when I was bought the first week I was on display. Full price too, mind you. None of that `` on sale'' business here. Cash. So it was to no surprise that the first weekend at my new home I was brought out of my case and prepped for an outing. I wish all the others at the factory could see me now. All the crap they gave me before about being different, HA! They're probably still sitting, locked up, on discount right now. Not running through the woods chasing some guy. Okay, here we go! My owner has me all lined up and ready to go. It's time to show him how special I really am. Just a little more pressure and... 
 
 BOOM! 
 
 Wee! I'm falling! Man today's been so cool. I hope my owner noticed how special I am. Everyone else shoots straight... how boring is that? Defect my ass.
