[ WP ] You wake up one day to find the world in ruins , and everyone dead . You meet God outside , finding out that he has kept you alive for a reason .

This morning I woke up under the open sky. That was somewhat distressing as I seem to remember having fallen asleep in a house with a roof last night. What's more, my room in said house most definitely had four walls whereas my current dwelling had one and a half at best. 
 I climbed out of my ruined domicile only to be met by Jack Nicholson. 
 
 Once more, I was greatly taken aback as I had never been in the same state as Mr. Nicholson and he looked considerably younger than he should. He greeted me with his trademark half-crazed smile and said `` Well hello Pierre, I am God.'' 
 
 I gaped for a moment at the consummate performer standing outside of my ruined house in a burning wasteland that bore no resemblance to the world I fell asleep in. After a while, I managed to stammer a response: 
 
 `` I'm rather sure you're Jack Nicholson.'' 
 
 `` What makes you say that?'' 
 
 `` Well, you're clearly Mr. Nicholson, albeit younger than you should be. You look like you just finished filming The Shining.'' 
 
 Mr. Nicholson spread his hands and stated simply `` I thought this form may be easier on your mind but I suppose I must prove myself.'' 
 
 There was a flash of immeasurably bright light and then nothing. 
 
 I apparently blacked out because I woke up again with Jack Nicholson grinning at me. `` See? Is n't this easier?'' 
 
 Pushing myself out of the dirt, I cleared my throat and responded, `` I suppose so. Nicholson is an odd choice though... Has n't he played the Devil a few times?'' 
 
 Mr. Nicholson nodded, `` Yes, yes he has.'' 
 
 I waited for more explanation but none was forthcoming. 
 
 `` Oh,'' I responded, more than a little disappointed. `` Well, what's happened to the world?'' I managed a gesture at a human shaped outline on the remaining wall of my home. 
 
 God shrugged and checked his nails `` Armageddon. You were out for a while. Hell of a bender last night huh? Yeah, you're literally the only one that managed not to get raptured or vaporised.'' 
 
 `` Uhhhh...'' 
 
 `` I know right? Weird! Anyway, I'm gon na shoot straight with you, you're still alive for a reason.'' 
 
 I perked up a bit at this `` Really?'' 
 
 God nodded `` Yeah, clerical oversight. See, we need *someone* to suffer tribulations on the blasted Earth and since you're the only human I managed to not let into heaven or destroy utterly you win immortality in Hell on Earth! Enjoy!'' 
 
 With this God spread his arms and I was met with the strange sight of Jack Nicholson ascending to Heaven only to be replaced by a swarm of scorpion-tailed locusts.
