[ WP ] The newspaper headline the next day read : `` Freak spatula incident leave 12 dead , 6 hospitalized . ''

`` Ma'am, I'm gon na need you to calm down. He looked like WHAT now?'' 
 
 Miss Tiffins was in a huff. `` Officer you must listen! He was a large man - at least I think it was a man - in a blue outfit. We was wearing these.. these tacky sandals with socks - WITH SOCKS! - and what appeared to be blue UNDERWEAR on his head! He never once opened his eyes and was humming the whole time... He... he just barged in here and...'' 
 
 `` Ms. Tiffans, you're telling me a man dressed in blue, with blue underwear on his head, came into the building and began savagely beating people with what you described as a.... Spatula... is that correct?'' 
 
 `` Officer, yes, for the last time that is what I am telling you! My husband saw him too! Honey, tell the officer you saw him!'' 
 
 The officer turned to Mr. Tiffans. `` Well, Mr Tiffans? Is your wife's description accurate?'' 
 
 Mr. Tiffans shrugged. `` Personally, I thought he looked like James Dean.'' 
 
 `` JAMES... DEAN?! HOW on EARTH could you mistake that... that DEGENERATE looking... CREATURE... as James Dean?'' 
 
 Mr. Tiffans just shrugged once again. `` Barb, hun, you asked me what I thought, so here's me thinkin. I think he was the spittin' image of James Dean.'' 
 
 `` Okay, okay, I've heard enough Mr. and Mrs. Tiffans. Thank you.'' 
 
 -- - 
 
 Detective Patterson sat down at his desk with a sigh. `` I'm gettin' to old for this shit...'' He snatched up the phone off his desk and dialed quickly. 
 
 `` Yes. It's me. We're gon na need another couple gone. Yeah, they know. Yep. It was HIM. No, no, not the one with the spiky blue hair. The OTHER ONE. Yep. Got ta put the lid on this one fast. Maybe pin it on that shroomed up plumber we got in cell 4? Great.'' 
 
 Dropping the phone back onto the receiver, Det. Patterson leaned back in his chair and looked out the window of his office. 
 
 `` Got ta tell ya, never thought this job would be so much like some kinda crazy... game.'' 
 
 -- - 
 
 Was inspired by [ Ebisumaru ] ( http: //http: //goemon.wikia.com/wiki/Ebisumaru ) of Ganbare Goemon fame. As for the James Dean referrence... It's at the 1:40 mark in this [ video ] ( https: //www.youtube.com/watch? v=iz9kxtROwOs # t=97 ). He claims to be descended from James Dean.
