[ WP ] You are the waterboy for an NFL team . It is the final play of the super bowl and your team is down by 4 points . the quarterback got injured in the previous play . The head coach asks you to put on the pads and be the quarterback .

`` Jesus Christ, what are we going to do about this shit?'' groaned quarterbacks coach Ryan Day of the San Francisco 49ers. Blake Bell was being hoisted up onto a stretcher as the whole world watched - their fourth quarterback to go down in the Super Bowl. 
 
 What made it even worse was that the 49ers only rostered 3 quarterbacks - Colin Kaepernick, Jeff Driskel, and Blaine Gabbert. All three had been knocked out already with gruesome ACL injuries. They practically had Dr. Andrews' office on speed dial. Blake Bell was their emergency quarterback - a tight end who'd only play QB if all of the regular players, no matter how bad they were, were out of action. 
 
 `` We put in the water boy!'' exclaimed Chip Kelly in a moment of enlightenment that the Lurie family had long learned to dread. 
 
 `` Chip, what the fuck have you been smoking?!?'' exclaimed Curt Modkins, the offensive coordinator. `` We ca n't just put the goddamn water boy in! He's not even on the team!'' 
 
 `` I signed him yesterday while lil'Jed was distracted with his new LearJet. I knew we'd have a situation like this.'' 
 
 `` By the way'' added Chip. `` Colt Lyerla's got some pretty dank shit. Maybe we should sign him someday.'' 
 
 Modkins sighed in disapproval and signaled to an assistant near the tunnel. As if on cue, out came a boy sixteen years old, wearing jersey number 9. On the back his last name, `` Mexico'', was written in nice, white letters. 
 
 `` Odd last name for a kid'' said Michael Vick, now the color commentator in the booth 
 
 Ronnie Mexico made it out onto the field listening to the gasps of Reliant Stadium, as well as those of the Raiders and the 49ers. He jogged up to the huddle. 
 
 `` Alright guys, just tell me what to say to the center, and I'll chuck it deep to Torrey. Do n't worry, I played Pop Warner for a couple of years - at wide receiver. I got this.'' 
 
 Torrey Smith and the nine other Niners looked at Ronnie in befuddlement and disgust. 
 
 `` Kid, you should n't be out here.'' said Carlos Hyde. 
 
 `` Has coach run out of real quarterbacks?'' added Anthony Davis. 
 
 `` Yes, he has'' said Ronnie, pointing to Chip Kelly, now wildly dancing and quacking, trying to replicate his `` Snap the ball!'' signal from Oregon to no avail. 
 
 Marcus Martin hung his head in embarrassment, got onto the line of scrimmage, and told Ron when exactly to expect the ball. 
 
 `` Black 36! Black 36! Black 36 SETHIKE!'' 
 
 Martin snapped the ball directly into Ron's hands, who then took a three step drop back and scanned the field. The offensive line somehow held on for the five seconds Ron needed to spot an opening. He heaved the ball with all his might... 
 
... into the arms of D.J. Hayden. The Raiders bench erupted in joy at the interception. The Niners bench swarmed the coked-out Chip Kelly. 
 
 The Super Bowl was over, but no one knew where Ronnie Mexico had gone. 
 
 No one but two people. 
 
 In a backroom closet at Reliant Stadium, Jack Del Rio and Bo Jackson were handing over mounds and mounds of autographed gear to Ronnie. He was happy it had all worked out. He did n't think Mike Davis was telling the truth to him when he was told the water boy position at his favorite team was taken, but to `` expect more''. 
 
 Turns out, Davis was right. 
 
 `` Let the lawsuits and infamy come'', thought Ronnie. `` At least Oakland had won.''
