[ WP ] You entered a a film festival on a lark , with a offering made up of cell phone movies , internet clips , lip sync videos and thirty minutes of you and your buddies sitting around stoned . Now you 've just won an Oscar . Give us your speech .

*Okay, pull yourself together, you can do this* 
 
 Umm, wow.... Just wow... I mean... You... Wow... You did see the film, right? Y-You're sure? 
 
 *You're a fucking moron* 
 
 Wow... Well, hrmm... Thanks I umm, I guess... This is a... A great honor... I mean wow... I never thought that this little... Side-project? 
 
 *That sounds good, go with it* 
 
 Side-project would **ahem** make it this far... 
 
 *Dear god those people from the period drama look angry* 
 
 I'd like to, ermm, give my thanks to... to my mother, I guess... Without her I'd... probably be on a tissue in my dad's bin... 
 
 *That was fucking terrible* 
 
 I'd also like to umm... To thank Jerry... He was the guy next to bong guy... He helped out with... Thanks Jerry 
 
 *Why the fuck did you mention Jerry* 
 
 I guess this... this award is pretty well, em, well deserved... We put a lot of effort in making it look as... As realistic as possible 
 
 *It was fucking real* 
 
 I mean, getting the Academy Award for best costume? We really did n't expect that.. 
 
 *That's because your costumes were beer-soaked vomit-covered clothes, from when you all did 10 pints in a row* 
 
 I'd like to offer my apologies to the other entrants... I mean, you all did very well but... 
 
 *Now the period drama people are starting to leave, nice one* 
 
 But I feel like our film... A deep journey into the minds of the broken generation of today... 
 
 *You literally made the film after the 30 minutes of getting high, do you even remember what it was? * 
 
 But yeah, thank you for the award... God bless America... ^Shambles ^off ^the ^stage 
 
 *I think that went rather well, next time please do n't do drugs before an award ceremony? *
