[ WP ] Satan is a single father trying to raise his son , who , in a rebellious phase , is all into peace , love , and harmony .

“ I should have never made marijuana to be so awesome ” I thought to myself while looking at my piece of shit son. He had obviously smoked too much this time and was once again asking me why I do what I do. 
 
 “ When that son of a bitch kicked me out of heaven, “ I started again for the 100th time, “ we kind of made a deal that I would handle people ’ s wants and impulses and such. If people want to murder and steal or whatever that ’ s on them, I just facilitate their means, and ultimately take care of their souls for eternity if that ’ s all they do during their time on earth. ” 
 
 “ I just think if everyone could slow down and listen to one another for a minute… ” my son began, with his eyes unfocused, “ Then we ’ d find we don ’ t have so much to fight about. ” 
 
 “ Like maybe if everyone all got high at the same time at once? ” I asked. 
 
 “ Yeah exactly. Then we ’ d all just sort of figure out how to get along. ” 
 
 “ Look junior, I made marijuana what it is. It ’ s my gate way drug to people to move on to the harder better stuff later, which ultimately results in their destruction. ” ( The little old ladies in church had it right all along. ) 
 
 “ You ’ re smoking my shit and then telling me what a billion other potheads have told me before. Next you ’ re going to tell me you ’ re not ‘ religious, ’ but you ’ re ‘ spiritual. ’ Try to at lease be original if you ’ re going to be a disappointment. ” 
 
 “ Fuck you Dad, you don ’ t understand! ” 
 
 I had already left his room however, walls covered in Reliant K posters behind me and was walking down the hallway. I looked forward to when Medusa would have him next weekend. 

