[ WP ] Write the story of the man/woman who on their tombstone is engraved `` TL ; DR '' .

The monument dwarfed anything else in the cemetery. It ’ s what Grandpa Sanders would have wanted; the man always thought of himself as being head and shoulders above everyone else. And, as I ’ m sure you ’ re aware, this belief was well-founded. You don ’ t become a mogul of industry by letting other people boss you around. 
 
 Hundreds of people packed themselves around the covered monument, hoping to pay their respects to the late Kentucky man. It never occurred to me how popular Grandpa ’ s style had become until I looked back and saw the sea of white. I knew the look was sharp on him, but this bunch made his signature mustache/goatee combination seem cheesy and fake. 
 
 I ’ d written the inscription myself; fresh out of college, the job seemed ill-suited to anyone else. As the moment of unveiling raced closer, my hands began to shake. Everyone would remember Grandpa the right way: businessman, entrepreneur, and soon ambassador to a vast poultry enterprise. I ’ d make the old man proud on his first day of rest. 
 
 With a flourish, Dad yanked the sheet off, showing everyone his father ’ s epitaph. 
 
 In retrospect, I should have been nicer to the stone cutter ’ s apprentice. 
 
 The act of defiance should have thrown me into a rage, but I ’ m oddly calm. Turns out the boy ’ s joke inscription is fairly accurate, now that I think about it; the colonel was ninety when he passed, and dropped out of school early. I just wish he hadn ’ t used the shorthand. At least some people could make sense of “ Too Long; Didn ’ t Read. ”
