[ WP ] Describe something you do every day in the most bombastic way possible without likening it to something else .

Gods, I dread the coming battle. This I can admit to myself, if no one else. 
 
 What use is this life if this is my lot, day in and day out? Doomed to face that fearsome mien, the horrid, detestable stink of its undying breath, those claws that could eviscerate an ox with as much effort as I might swat a fly? 
 
 Why has it befallen me? I will tell thee why – my compatriots are cowards! They shrink from their duty, their fear a putrid stink in the nostrils of brave men! I would almost be able to accept this onerous task merely for the satisfaction of shaming them, of seeing them pale and frightened, shrinking from the prospect of facing their own disembowelment. 
 
 But am I the better man, if I sit here, writing this, instead of facing my duty? The answer is no. No! I will face this burden, as I do all my days, with fortitude, if not some small measure of fear. 
 
 The beast is quiescent today but I know it can not remain so. I must strike quickly, before it senses my presence in its lair. The sacrifice I carry is not heavy but the stink of it waters my eyes. Warily I approach, depositing the befouled meal in the usual place, and I make my retreat. Gah! The uncanny beast! It knows its lair too well, and when there is a trespasser! Its claws have raked me, and I must now retreat before its hissing fury. Tomorrow, though, my foul friend – I will return tomorrow! And I vow that tomorrow it will not be *my* blood that will be spilt! 
 
 I end this with a warning to all who read it, most particularly my good wife: At market, purchase no more of this foul Iams ProActive Health Indoor Weight & Hairball Care Dry Cat Food, I beg of you! For your soul's sake!!
