[ WP ] A homeowner confuses two Mormons for federal agents looking for a fugitive named 'Jesus ' .

* “ Good evening, sir, I ’ m Mr. Carter and this is Mr. Williams. We ’ re here to talk to you about a very urgent matter. ” * 
 
 “ Is everything alright? “ 
 
 * “ That depends. Have you heard about Jesus? ” * 
 
 “ Jesus? No... No, well, there was a Jesus who used to do some yardwork for the old couple across the street. Oh, and there ’ s a Jason that lives on the next block, but he ’ s an accountant. ” 
 
 * “ No, sir. We ’ re here about a matter of life and death. Jesus, the Commander and Captain of the Host. ” * 
 
 “ Oh, God! ” 
 
 * “ Exactly, sir. ” * 
 
 “ Can you, can you tell me what he ’ s done? ” 
 
 * “ His first miracle was to change water into wine. ” * 
 
 “ That doesn ’ t seem too bad, I mean, that ’ s not illegal, is it? Because I brew my own beer. ” 
 
 * “ No, sir, this was spontaneous! In the blink of an eye, barrels of water were turned to alcohol. ” * 
 
 “ Oh, wow. Drugs, eh? I saw Breaking Bad, what chemists can do these days is just astounding. Isn ’ t that more of a DEA thing? Is the Host a gang? I heard about Bob next door getting broken into last night and I just knew it was those junkies I heard about on TV, cos no-one round here would do something like that. Just terrible. ” 
 
 * “... We ’ re here to ask you if you want to let Jesus into your life. ” * 
 
 “ You mean, like, undercover work? I ’ m not sure I ’ ve got the training, I ’ m not sure I ’ m ready for that, but I ’ d love to help. ” 
 
 * “ Thank you, sir. I have a pamphlet you might find very interesting. ” * 
 
 “ Great! Cos I ’ ve always known I ’ d be good at this. I love Law and Order, and CSI. I always know who the murderer is before they do! Yeah, OK, I ’ ll do it. I ’ ll find Jesus for you. ”
