[ WP ] The New York sanitation workers have always secretly had the job of ridding the streets of cryptid monsters . Time to take out the trash !

`` So, this is your first day then?'' 
 
 Barry leaned back in his plastic chair with his legs propped up on his desk as he took in the pimply new recruit who stood in his doorway. 
 
 `` What's your name, scrub?'' 
 
 `` Jacques Harris.'' 
 
 `` And what made you want to be part of the sanitation force of New York City, Harris?'' 
 
 `` The thrill of adventure.'' Jacques replied sarcastically. 
 
 Of course, Jacques did n't want to be a sanitation worker. He wanted to be on the road-trip across the country with his friends, drinking ice beer with them at the festival and waking up the next morning with a hangover like he took a hammer to the head. What he got instead was the revelation that he did n't have the money to do any of that, so rather than getting drunk blind hundreds of miles away, Jacques opened the newspaper and signed up for the first job that would take him. 
 
 Barry snorted. `` Hey now kid. You're not the first guy who thought he was signing up for a bullshit job about shoveling bullshit. Lem me tell you something, being a sanitation worker is n't as boring as it sounds. While you're on the job, you'll be meeting new people and sweeping the streets got ta make this place all clean and stuff blah blah blah'' 
 
 Jacques looked around the'office' absent-mindedly. It was painted a chilly sky blue as water dripped from the ceiling, leaving telltale patches of mildew long the tops of the wall. It looked like rather than cleaning it up though, they tried to cover it up with various posters about cleanliness and germs and how to use a mop and whatever. In the back of the room various toys and junk stood on display on top of filing cabinets. He recognized the Iron Man action figure from that promo that McDonalds did a few years back.'Fucking hell, did these guys put that thing up as a joke or are they really that boring?' 
 
 Then Jacques realized that Barry was staring at him. Jacques looked at him. 
 
 `` Beautiful office, do n't you think?'' Barry smiled broadly. 
 
 `` Uhh, sure?'' 
 
 `` Well, if you're gon na work with us, then maybe you should see more than this dank old place. Come on, I'll give you the tour.'' 
 
 Barry got up and walked out the door. Jacques followed. The tour was boringly uneventful. The meeting room had plastic chairs around folding tables. The common room was similarly furnished with a fridge in the corner and absurd amounts of coffee in the cupboards. Incinerator was hot, and that was it. The supply room was just shelves with Windex and sponges and bullet casings- 
 
 `` Whoa-whoa-whoa hang on a sec!'' 
 
 Jacques pushed past Barry and barged back into the supply room for another look. Indeed, on one of the shelves were a box of yellow bronze bullets. And sitting next to it... 
 
 `` That's a point-357 Magnum, Colt Python revolver, newblood.'' 
 
 Jacques jumped at the new voice. A middle aged man with frighteningly white hair walked out of the aisle and towards Jacques, taking the pistol as he passed. The man tossed the gun around in his hands, twirling it, loading it, spinning the barrel, unloading it, catching the bullets as they fell, and finally holding it up for Jacques to see. 
 
 `` I'll tell you now, newblood, that this gun has saved my ass more times than I can count, and not for the reasons you're thinking of. There's many things in this world that you ca n't explain, that I do n't understand, but more often than not a bullet between the eyes'll-'' 
 
 `` Alright, that's okay Pat. Jacques here has n't even started yet. Let's not scare him off already!'' Barry gave a short laughed as he placed a hand on Jacques shoulder, telling him that they should leave. But the man,'Pat', was having none of it. He walked closer. 
 
 `` Look, newblood. Nobody told me this when I signed up, so I'm gon na tell you now. There's shit you're gon na see that you wish was n't real.'' 
 
 He grabbed Jacques shoulders. 
 
 `` You're gon na look around yourself one day and realize that you're not gon na come out of this the same man you came in as, ya feel me? Shit's fucked up! And if you do n't back out now you ai n't never gon na -'' 
 
 `` BACK OFF FUCKHEAD!'' 
 
 Jacques had had enough. He punched the clearly insane Pat in the gut and pushed Pat off of him and onto the floor, where Pat splattered like a paint balloon. 
 
 Jacques stared at the pink mess on the floor, his mouth open and brain in shock. Barry walked over to the goo that was Pat and crouched down, examining it. 
 
 `` Yeah, I did n't want you finding out so early, but now that the cat's out of the bag, I guess I might as well tell you. Close the door behind you.'' 
 
 The door was closed. Jacques approached the goo timidly. Barry sighed and continued. 
 
 `` See, there's a whole'nother world besides our own that we ca n't see. And the thing is is that sometimes these worlds meet and, well, shit like Pat happens.'' 
 
 He kicked the goo which vibrated. Then it leaped up Barry's leg and swallowed it. Barry screamed in pain as Jacques watched in horror. Barry tried to move his leg but it was stuck to the floor! He looked at Jacques with fear in his eyes as another jolt of pain coursed through his body and he screamed again. 
 
 Jacques ran for the door. It was locked! Why was it locked!?!? He slammed on the door desperately and shouted `` PLEASE, ANYONE! SOMETHING'S TRYING TO KILL BARRY! WE'RE GON NA DIE! HELP! ANYONE!'' He kicked the door in frustration and turned around to Barry, who was still struggling with the goo. Barry looked up and, in a moment of relief, he pointed at the shelves before doubling over again. 
 
 Jacques searched the shelves for something, anything useful. Soap, no. Buckets, no. Grenades, Jesus Christ no! Bleach, n-YES! He took a jug in each hand and ran back. 
 
 `` JACQUES, HURRY!'' 
 
 `` C'mon, pull the tab, rip it around, twist the cap and-yes!'' Finally, the caps were off! With no time left, Jacques dumped two bottles worth of industrial bleach onto the goo monster. It writhed and shook with pain as the chemicals corroded its structure. It retreated from Barry's leg and onto the ground where it moved around erratically, like a frightened mouse. Jacques took no chances though, and poured the rest of the bleach on the goo, and it quickly dissolved into nothing. 
 
 Jacques breathed heavily, the adrenaline still flowing through him. Barry got up and, with Jacques' help, they opened the supply room door and left, closing the door behind them. Barry picked up a nearby hose and started washing his leg. 
 
 `` That was good thinking, Jacques! Using the bleach to dissolve the goo like that! Though it did leave a lot of gas behind so it's a good thing we got out of there quickly.'' 
 
 Jacques said nothing. His mind still spun from what just happened. What was that thing? What did I just do? Why were the doors locked? Wait a second. He looked at Barry and pointed at the doors. 
 
 `` Those were locked before. I remember they were definitely locked. And- Hey, your leg is fine!'' 
 
 And indeed, Barry's leg was merely wet from the bleach. No bones, no blood, not even a scratch. 
 
 `` That was your initiation, Jacques. Many people ca n't function under stress, and in our line of work that's unacceptable.'' 
 
 `` Wait, so that was n't real?'' 
 
 `` Oh no, the monsters are very real. That one, though, was a harmless shapeshifter. But they're good for creating the illusion of danger. That's why we use them in initiation. And I'm glad to say you passed, Jacques Harris!'' 
 
 Barry smiled broadly. Jacques, on the other hand... 
 
 `` Ok, this is bullshit! This is not what I fucking signed up for! All I needed was a job! I did *not* give up a fucking roadtrip with my friends so I could be scared shitless every day at work! Fuck this shit! Fuck your initiation! Fuck everything! I'm out! I am never EVER coming back to this godawful place!'' 
 
 Jacques stormed out of the building. Barry heard his shouts from down the hallway, ending in a loud bang of a slammed door. Barry sighed and continued hosing down his pants as a man with white hair walked up behind him. 
 
 `` D'ya think the newblood's coming back?'' Pat asked. 
 
 Barry smiled. `` Hey, it's the summer. He'll be back.''
