[ PI ] Elegance , Sweet Arrogance - MarContest - 11772

Hi /u/DanseRusseOnTheRadio! I read your story for the contest and I wanted to give you some feedback. 
 
 First of all, you were by far the most talent technical writer in the group. Your exposition was absolutely perfect. You described scenes with great metaphors and your descriptions were spot on. The writing reminded me a lot of George R. R. Martin or Yann Martel. I was engrossed with your story from the very get go, because your descriptions writing was wonderful. 
 
 I know you did n't ask for criticism, but I have to ask, was it purposeful to have so little dialogue? Like I said, I really liked your exposition, but after 6 pages, it got a little taxing. I think your story would do well with some breaks with dialogue. About halfway through, I realized I was just being taken through a story, description by description. I had a hard time relating to characters because the tone of the story is, `` This happened, then this happened, then this happened...'' 
 
 This is just my opinion, so take it at that. Again, you are a really *really* talented writer. Your sentence structure, flow and vocab are some of the best I've read here. Your exposition is great, but I think your story would be absolutely perfect if you were able to tone down the exposition; too much of a good thing lessens it. 
 
 Thanks for the read! I enjoyed your story, it was very visceral and I liked the concept of reading a love story in medieval times. Keep writing, you are very talented!
