[ WP ] TIFU by getting reddit banned in the USA

The bed was so cozy and the sliver of light poking through the cotton weave was beginning to softly loft into the room. The annoying beeping from my phone was silenced before it started. Today was going to be a good day. 
 My eyes were still half closed as I made my way to the bathroom, and I completely missed seeing the 14 lb cat near the door. My toe hit him, he screamed at me, I jumped backward with eyes wide open now... `` Welcome to Wednesday!'' I thought. 
 
 Dressing was uneventful, as was the commute to work. XM had a cool story about how the internet had changed people's way of looking at other people, and I hesitated in the parking garage to try to hear the rest of the story, but I was also going to be late, and I was NEVER going to be late. 
 Thursdays to do list was pretty impressive, with three calls before 9, talking to people who talked to people. Then I had meetings until noon, and a quick lunch of leftover tuna salad and ritz in the drab cafeteria. 
 At 145pm, I was supposed to get the call, so at 140pm, I went to the bathroom, and filled up my water bottle along the way. I wanted to have everything ready so there would be no disturbances. 
 I could type upwards of 110 words per minute but when I was listening, then transposing, it took longer. Sometimes the connection was bad and I had to ask my friends to repeat themselves... THAT slowed me down a lot, but today was n't going to be one of those days... I just knew that today was special. 
 
 On my way back from the ladies room, my cell buzzed in my hand, making the water bottle buzz as well. I got a call from my boss, who said that the big boss wanted to see me real quick. 
 I nodded, said sure, and changed course, taking me to the end of a long hall with glass doors and windows overlooking the hills. 
 `` You wanted to see me?'' I asked. 
 She looked up over her glasses and said matter of factly, `` Yes. Please sit down.'' 
 
 My brow furrowed as I wondered what she needed now? She was new, and everyone was still trying to figure her out. 
 `` OK, but I have to be somewhere in five minutes, is that OK or should we reschedule?'' I asked with my hand still on the door handle. 
 `` It wo n't take two minutes'' she said... and I sat down low in the plush chair. 
 
 And true to her word, two minutes later, I was done. Literally. Like deer on the interstate vs a car done. Like Cage after Rampart done. 
 Out of the blue, I was fired and escorted off the property with a box full of memories and the look of shocked faces burned into my peripheral vision. 
 
 The next two days were a blur. Of course I kept up a good face. It was hard to get me upset, but this??? This hurt! 
 I put my heart and soul into what I did. I did good things and reaped good karma. I was fair and honest to a fault and was a straight shooter with everyone I met. I did n't get googly eyes, and yet, here I was in my bathrobe, at 2pm, eating ice cream, on a Friday. 
 My twitter account blew up. And the entire firm it seemed was supporting me. And while it felt good, it did n't change my employment status. I did n't know what to say, or how to say it. 
 My friends had texted me so much that I had to put the phone on charge at 10am, and I was alternating between tears and giggles as I read and returned texts. 
 The cat must have known I was upset as he would n't leave my side... which made walking extra treacherous. 
 That day turned cloudy, then rainy, then stormy... and the texts continued... the cat continued... and I continued. 
 
 On Sunday I got a text from a blocked number at exactly 1:45pm. It said simply, `` Five days from today, what was will cease and what shall be will rise.'' So of course I replied..., `` Um, what?'' 
 No replies came. 
 Monday and Tuesday I got offers to come to work and offers to help and offers to feed me... which were all appreciated... all except for the weird offer from my neighbor... ewww! 
 On Wednesday, I was checking Reddit when my screen flickered. I was in the AMA section reading the headlines and trying to see what was going on... then the screen went white. Blank white. As in blizzard... then, like a puff of smoke to the left... a single black cursor box began to appear. 
 F5 didnt do anything. 
 Refreshes didnt do anything. 
 It seemed like the site had simply evaporated. 
 
 I thought to myself that perhaps someone was finally updating the search function, but still, nothing but a cursor and the website address in the browser bar... a slow and steady cursor blink. That is what reddit had become. 
 
 `` Oh well,'' I thought. I have other things to do besides browse reddit and feel sorry for myself... so I opened my email and was astonished to see 1235 unread messages. `` That ca n't be right.'' But it was right. People were emailing from all over the globe sending condolences and prayers and offers of hope, food, and a few invitations to weird locations. They knew but I didnt tell them. They knew and they wanted to help. They all shared their souls with me, and wanted nothing more than to offer a hand. 
 As I read them, I started feeling empowered.. I started feeling better. I started to feel the weight of the cat on my lap under the laptop... and then out of the blue... another flicker and blank page... 
 But this time, the cursor started to move, and letters started to appear... 
 ``... We are anonymous, we are legion... and we see what happened to you as a tragedy. We have therefore began the process to dismantle reddit, and replace it with a new version.. a version with a new CEO... one with vision like yours... because we want that CEO to be you Chooter.'' 
 `` Instructions will come...'' it said. 
 
 My eyes were wide and my hands began to type, `` who are you, really?'' 
 After a pause of what seemed like hours... the cursor moved again, slowly... 
 `` W....e...... a.......r.....e..... t... h....e....u....s.....e....r....s.....t... h....e.....l... u... r... k... e..r....s... a... n....d... s... o... m... e... t... i... m....e....s....t... h....e....o... w....n... e....r... s... o... f....I... C... A... N....N.'' 
 The cursor did not move again. 
 
 The internet was blowing up. But reddit was not to be found. dns errors were what was displayed. But I did get a screenshot from a friend in Russia. He used special software to look at the web... and he sent me an image of the site... on the front page... a message. 
 `` Until Victoria Returns, This site will be blocked for everyone who celebrates democracy. It is up to them as to when the site will return, if ever. They alone can decide if it will return.'' 
 
 So I did the only thing I could think of... I opened a bottle of wine and poured a glass, then went to the window and gazed at the shadows being cast on the hills... and I wondered... `` why me?'' 
 
 I opened a new page and it was blank. Reddit was my homepage. Reddit was my home! 
 I typed in www.reddit.com and hit enter... still nothing. 

