[ WP ] You 're 99.999 % sure you have superpowers . Obviously , if you were 100 % sure , your life would be completely different .

I should n't be here right now. 
 There is no reason I should be alive. At this point, it ca n't be a coincidence anymore. 
 My first attempt was back when I was a young teenager. My life was a living hell. Some of the kids called me their `` friend'' to my face. They pretended to like me, but they did n't know me. Nobody actually knew me. If they had to deal with what I did every single day, they would have broken just as fast. At least they tried. Other kids were awful. Or just more honest, I'm not really sure. They'd tease me, push me around, make fun of me. It was all a joke to them, I guess. They'd say hurtful things, and laugh it off. They'd get pleasure from my pain. After a while, it stopped hurting. I did n't feel anything. Everything felt pointless. When I looked into my future, I just saw grey. Nothing to look forward to. Nothing to get excited about. Just, nothing. It became too much. I felt my life was n't worth the space my body occupied. 
 One night, I stole a big bottle of alcohol from my parents and drank the whole thing as fast as I could. I passed out, but I woke up the next day, just fine. 
 Another night, I took every pill I could find from the medicine cabinet, and downed them all at once. The next day I was fine. 
 I tried cutting myself deeper than I ever had before. And again, and again, and again. Still nothing. I never even got a scar. 
 I tried everything, and still I was fine. I jumped into an icy river, and washed up on shore unharmed. I survived a fall from a considerably high height. I dangled from a noose all night. I survived being hit by a car, a city bus, and even a train. Nothing. 
 I watched a bullet entry and exit wound on either side of my head slowly heal over the course of a few weeks, without even a scar. 
 
 Today, not much has changed. My life is as much a mess as it ever was. At this point, i'm 99.999 % sure I am invincible. On my bad days, it's a thought of despair, like being trapped in a dark tunnel with no way out. On my good days though, it is a spark of hope. I imagine what I could accomplish if I truly was invincible. I could do anything I wanted. I could commit any crime. Steal anything I wanted. Get rich and famous. Or, if I really wanted to help people, I could get some scientist to pay me to study my genes. Maybe they could cure diseases and shit, I do n't know. I could even put on tights and fight crime. I would n't wear a mask. I already wear a mask every day, hiding who I really am. It's called a smile. 
 After every attempt, I get more and more sure that I ca n't be killed, and the spark inside me grows. You'd think it would make me feel safer, but it does n't. The surer I get, the more afraid I am. Afraid that it's not true. Afraid that it's all just a big coincidence. Afraid that the next time I attempt, it will be the time I finally succeed. 
 If I were totally sure, things would be different. If I was totally sure, I could live my life however I wanted. If I was totally sure, I could be happy. 
 
 Or, at least that's what I keep telling myself.
