[ WP ] The weather forecaster does n't predict the weather . They cause it .

“ Sadly, Mordred the flappy jackalope will never leap again. ” Head news anchor Rod pursed his lips, his eyebrows knitting together in an intense frown. “ Makes me MAD, co-lady Ma-ry. Makes me mad. ” 
 
 “ Just as as you say, Rod! ” Co-host Mary piped up, with a big smile on her face. “ It ’ s very sad! It ’ s very- “ 
 
 “ ROOOOOOOOOODDD! ” 
 
 The multi-tentacled, blue alien sitting in front of the green-screen waved an appendage at him. The jagged, black mouth on the tentacle cleared its throat, then started screaming. “ IT ’ S TIME FOR THE WEATHER, ROD! THE WEATHER! ” 
 
 “ THE WEATHER! ” The other mouths were joining in. 
 
 “ WE MUST TELL THE WEATHER! ” 
 
 Rod put his hands on his hips. 
 
 “ Now you guys. ” He chided. “ We still need to to talk about the economy. The weather report isn ’ t- ” 
 
 “ THE WEATHER, ROOOOOOOOOD! ” 
 
 Life had been strange since the Chikoti beings had taken over earth. Strange, because they hadn ’ t actually tried to involve themselves in everyday functioning of human society in any real way to speak of. All they seemed to want to do was scream things and be on television. 
 
 “ THE WEEEEATHER! ” 
 
 Except for the weather reports. They were very insistent on hosting the weather reports. 
 
 Rod held his gaze for another second, then his face melted into a mischievous smile. 
 
 “ Oh, alright. ” He waggled a finger. “ I can ’ t say no to you. Go ahead. ” 
 
 “ FIRE BOMBING IN SECTOR THREE! ” The alien began shaking, flapping its tentacles wildly. “ THAT IS THE WEATHER, FIRE BOMBING IN SECTOR THREE! ” 
 
 “ WE WILL SCOURGE THE SOIL ONLY DUST WILL BE LEFT. ” 
 
 “ FIRE RAIN IN SECTOR THREE PRAISE BE THE CLEANSING POWER OF THE SCOURGING FLAME! ” 
 
 “ Uh oh. Looks like weather anchor ChKteyVek is predicting a rain of fire bombs over the greater third sector area. ” Rod winked at the camera. “ Remember folks, ChKteyVek has an 100 % success rate, much more accurate than Terry used to- 
 
 “ TERRY WAS WEAK! WE BEST HIM IN COMBAT AND STRIPPED HIS BONES! ” 
 
 Rod nodded, suddenly feeling a bit sweaty. “ Yes, I- “ 
 
 “ STRIPPED HIS BOOOOOOONES, ROOOOOOOD! ” 
 
 Rod fell silent. So did the alien. Co-lady Mary continued to smile blankly and not speak. There was a moment of silence. 
 
 But the mouths never stayed shut for long. 
 
 “ YOU ARE MAKING US UNCOMFORTABLE, ROD! UNCOMFORTABLE! ” 
 
 “ YOU ARE A BAD CONVERSATIONALIST WITH SUBPAR INTERPERSONAL SKILLS, ROD. ” 
 
 “ WE ARE GETTING AWAY FROM THE WEATHER. ” 

