[ WP ] An atheist and a Satanist meet at the gates of heaven . Saint Peter says there 's only room for one of them .

Allan looked around for a minute. `` Is this all real? Well, it seems real enough. So is there actually a deity on the other side of that gate?'' 
 
 Peter nodded. It was enough. 
 
 `` Well, then I guess I'm not an atheist anymore. Simple enough, you should let me in. I did n't know any better on earth because I had n't seen the evidence.'' 
 
 Peter continued to stare blankly. 
 
 Allan stammered a bit, apparently his sudden acceptance was insufficient. Confronted with the reality of it, he pleaded his case. `` Look, she's a satanist. Devil worshipper. Demon. Heathen. I hav n't done anything wrong. I tried to be a good person based on what I could see on earth. I did n't know any of this was going to happen. I'm innocent. I may not have lead the perfect life, but I tried to be generous. I donated to charity. I raised a family. My daughter is in congress. That should be good enough right? At least better than her. She should be the one to go to hell, not me!'' 
 
 Susan chimed in, `` Works for me. I've got a date.'' 
 
 Peter smiled and pulled the lever, dropping the clouds out from under the woman. She dropped through and a jet of flames and a puff of smoke briefly replaced her. 
 
 Allan started to step forward, but the gates did not open. `` I think you misunderstood. I said we only had room for one. Not where we had room for one.'' 
 
 And there was no Allan.
