[ WP ] here you stand , alone again , about to take your own life . Nothing is holding you back now . You decide to look around your room one more time until something catches your eye , and the impact it has on you stops you in your tracks and makes you realize why you ca n't do this to yourself .

Breathing out the last drops from the bottom of the bottle, I was seized with anger. I hurled the damned thing against the wall, where it shattered like the lies and lives I once believed in. 
 
 That sad, sappy man living in the cramped one bedroom, if you could call it living, had given up a long time ago, turning resolutely to the bottles and cans that now covered every inch of every surface. And now the liquor had failed me, just like so many others, just as I had failed myself. 
 Breathing out the last drops from the bottom of the bottle, I was seized with anger. I hurled the damned thing against the wall, where it shattered like the lies and lives I once believed in. 
 That sad, sappy man living in the cramped one bedroom, if you could call it living, had given up a long time ago, turning resolutely to the bottles and cans that now covered every inch of every surface. And now the liquor had failed me, just like so many others, just as I had failed myself. 
 
 I toyed with the razor, practiced my motion so that I could work the courage up to do it. Several small slices later, I was confident. For the first time, finally confident in my abilities to accomplish something. That stupid fucking grin spread across my face one last time, as I pressed the blade against the warm flesh of my wrist. I looked down to say something. Some grandiose final word, only I would ever know was whispered. As my eyes trailed, I spotted a single strand of hair. Long. Blonde. Clearly a woman's. In my drunken fugue state I could n't figure out how it had gotten there. 
 
 And then I smelt her. The floodgates were opened wide as a torrential downpour of memories came roaring out of my mind and down my cheeks in long streaky tears. Her laugh, her smile, her touch bombarded my senses, and the blade dropped to the carpet. All the memories of yesteryear, of the good times that passed, of the love that was shared shattered my nerves, and echoed much louder than the bottle broken before. Memories of the man I *could* be, of the man I could have once upon a time called “ myself ” burned in my mind ’ s eye hotter than any liquor. How could I selfishly throw all of that away? 
 With that thought, the confidence I once felt, the determination, the crazed manic determination, fell to the floor and cowered with the blade. 
 
 I puked, I slept, and I spooned the cold toilet bowl instead of the warm curves of a love lost long ago.
