[ WP ] To impress Jasmine , Aladdin wished himself to become a prince . You are one of the attendants that got wished into existence , but after Aladdin 's parade you start to have an existential crysis .

It was the ninetieth night of the endless toil that was Scherazade's imprisonment in the Sultan's palace. She was his bride in all but name, held in a state of living mostly by the power of her tales to enrapture the Sultan into sparing her for just one day. 
 
 The ruler was sittng on a comfortable cushion, surrounded by the ladies of the seraglio, eyes already wide open in anticipation of another tale. 
 
 `` Well, my great and most wonderous Sultan. Where did we leave things last night?'' 
 
 The Sultan's eyes bulged in memory, and then he smiled. 
 
 `` You had come to the natural conclusion of the story of Haladdin, the Peasant Prince of Agrabah. But you were cagey about it being the end of the story, like you were trying to extend things another day.'' 
 
 *Bold. Does n't usually mention the strangeness of our relationship. Must be getting tired of the pretence that he's keeping me alive solely for my storytelling. Shit. * 
 
 `` Well, my Sultan, though the story of Haladdin is over, with the business with his uncle, the ring, the lamp, and the princess Jasmin, there is another story that starts off during the tale of Haladdin.'' 
 
 `` I am totally not surprised by this in any way Scherazade.'' the Sultan deadpanned. 
 
 *Yeah, he's sick of our charade. * 
 
 `` If you are sitting comfortab-'' 
 
 `` GET ON WITH IT!'' 
 
 `` Very well. We begin on the royal road towards Agrabah, during the parade of Haladdin, en route to impress the Princess Jasmin.'' 
 
 *He is going to actually get tired of me at last if this one is n't a good story, shit shit shit* 
 
 
 -- - 
 
 As you well know, during the presentation of the'Prince' Haladdin, servants were called forth from the ether by the djinni of the lamp. Humanoid creatures, that whilst they possessed the nature of humans, were not, despite their appearance, created by Allah. Not directly. 
 
 This is the tale of a baker, who hauled a basket of golden loaves to the palace, to demonstrate Prince Haladdin's lands ample orchards and grand food growth capabilities. 
 
 *Who am... I am a baker. * he thought, as the djinni conjured him into existence. 
 
 The baker soon fell into step with the others of his kind, marching, rejoicing in the name of their liege, Haladdin the Great. 
 
 The spirit, or as we know it, the djinni, waved its arms every which way, and conjured fantastical beasts, terrible monsters, and great riches, all to demonstrate the wealth of Haladdin the Great. 
 
 However. Despite such sorcery, the nature of men is still the same as it ever is, and when confronted with such beauty, and such sights... 
 
 Did you know, Sultan, that there is a beast in a distant land lore known as a'drop bear'? it is a small, diminuitive creature, resembling a Western bear from the Germanic lands, but small, almost cuddly. This bear is known to'drop' from the trees it makes its home, and sink its talons into the flesh of unsuspecting travellers. 
 
 It is not entirely unlike the drop bear's preferred predatory stratagem that two savage children leapt from a rooftop onto the baker's back, to seize his golden treasures, the basket of the most delicious bread in existence. 
 
 The distraction forced the baker to leave the parade, stumbling as savage children grabbed his bread... 
 
 And when the spell was ceased, the baker remained, when all of his kin vanished along with the djinni of the lamp. 
 
 He was a man, merely moments old, fighting children to keep his bread, nameless, and without Allah-given purpose beyond a desire to prove his baking skills to the Sultan of Agrabah. 
 
 -- - 
 
 The Sultan yawned. 
 
 `` Uh... Did I say he was a man? I meant a woman! With big breasts! Ample!'' 
 
 The Sultan slowly became alert, then stared at Scherazade. 
 
 `` You're struggling to remember this one, are n't you?'' 
 
 She spluttered, and grasped at straws in her mind. 
 
 ``... No! I remember now! He was a man. Bearded. Eyes like coals, black, with yellow flecks. Big hands.'' 
 
 The Sultan raised an eyebrow as the storyteller basically described himself. 
 
 `` Carry on, Scherazade. Weave your tale, it may save you from the headsman another night.'' 
 
 *Bugger bugger bugger*
