[ WP ] Unknown to humanity , there is a god for almost everything . You are the god of oil .

I feel like I'm drowning in work. At times like this, I ca n't help but think back and ponder about how I came to hold this position. I stare with resentment at the placard sitting at the edge of my desk. Brian Colms - God of Oil - Divinity Corp. 
 
 I took a position here at Divinity as an intern in my senior year. I was a political science major; simulated evolutionary engineering was nowhere near my radar as a potential career path. The opportunity at Divinity arose because I knew a guy that knew a guy. I figured it would be a good way to beef up my CV. Twelve years later, and I hate my life more than ever. 
 
 I know what you're asking: `` If this job is n't for you, why did you continue after your internship?'' 
 
 Fair question. Allow me to elaborate. Divinity is a leading innovator in the global evolutionary engineering sector. Basically, we create multiverses; simulations of millions of constantly evolving universes at a time -- generating thousands unique worlds that harbor simulated life -- and we harvest the technological outcomes of these worlds for real-world applications. 
 
 When I began as an intern, I was tasked with cataloging a subset of hydrophobic substances. For the most part, the work was pretty minimal. In fact, the brunt of it had already been done before I got here. I simply had to keep an eye on the development of new oils as they popped into existence in each simulation. 
 
 After graduation, I was looking for work. As luck would have it, Divinity was now hiring demi-gods to be in charge of its expanding oil sims. So I applied for the position and I got it. Initially, the job was similar to my work as an intern; some mineral oils here, a few triglycerides there. I could n't understand why they wanted a person to take on this position full-time. But I was n't complaining. The pay was decent and the work was manageable. So I stuck with it and gradually worked my way up the ranks over the years. 
 
 As this area began to expand, so too did the workload, and I had to take on some interns, myself, to help get some things done. But it was n't until my fifth year that things began to snowball out of control. I know the planet that was the source of it all. I know it well. It haunts my dreams. When I close my eyes, I see the architecture of their damned oil refineries with vividness. They use it daily; some of it for cooking and some of it for transportation. They wage wars for some of it. Entire political battles revolve around the stuff. Fucking Earth. 
 
 For the previous decade that Divinity and other evolutionary engineering firms had been operating, never had a single simulation found such extensive uses for the stuff. But Earth had, and it was like they were addicted to it. When I realized what was happening, I tried to change the source code for the program to try to get them to use something else to drive their civilization. I gave them nuclear. Let one of the administrator gods deal with the issue. But they only used it as a deterrent to help keep their oil businesses running. 
 
 I strengthened the coding of their wind turbines. Jim, the asshole God of wind could take care of it. Nope. Solar, I figured, would surely provide a strong enough incentive for them to switch. After all, it's pretty much what every simulated civilization -- as well as our own -- seems to gravitate towards once they realize the potential of it. The big-wigs at our solar division, Helios, could certainly manage that. But time and time again, the occupants of this planet found reasons to reject all of my alternatives. Sure, some portions of it managed to stick, but mostly, they were swatted away. It was as though the renewables I was offering them was water and they were all, well, *oil*. 
 
 I've sent a formal request to my superiors about pulling the plug on Earth, but so far, they want to `` wait and see what happens.'' I've asked them to hire more personnel, but they seem to think that I should be able handle it. So here I am, neck-deep in a viscous adversary from an anomalous world among thousands, that wo n't let me have a moment of peace. I hardly have time to see my family, anymore. I do n't have time to get my personal affairs in order. If the higher-ups wo n't help me, then there's only one thing to do. A little climate change should mitigate the problem.
