[ WP ] There is actually a god , but it is unlike any religion 's god .

`` The day Golumpolorpe ( pronounced Go-Lump-O-L-oh-rp ) descended from the heavens was a glorious day, my children! When I was a young boy, I'd gather around my grandpa and hear him tell tales of Golumpolorpe's glory. See, it all happened during my Pap-pap's lifetime. 
 
 It was a cloudy morning in Time Square, when all of the sudden the clouds parted, and a beam of brilliant light cascaded from the heavens. It was on that light beam that Golumpolorpe came down in all his glory. Oh what a spectacle it was! People at first thought He was some sort of alien, but when all of the world's diseases started disappearing people were reassured he was, in fact, God.'' 
 
 The preacher paused to let his story seep into the minds of the audience. His face glowed with pure ecstasy as he continued to recount the tales from his grandfather. Behind him stood a sculpture of Golumpolorpe himself. He had specified that each and every Golumplace must contain His likeness. 
 And what a glorious statue! Golumpolorpe's 17 asymmetrical facial tentacles and beer-gut were really portrayed nicely in that one. His bulging, half-closed right eye was really accurately proportioned with his tiny, closed left eye, and the dead flesh which hung from his elephant-like trunk had perfectly accurate thickness. 
 
 `` My friends and fellow worshipers! Gaze upon his godly likeness! Look at his 17 beautiful tentacles. We must honor him! My own grandfather was THERE. He saw with his own two eyes the 17 tentacles. Counted them himself. We must KILL those filthy infidels who believe he has only 16 tentacles.'' 
 
 The crowd cheered and brandished their 17 pronged pitchforks, their customary 17 tentacled hats jiggled as their wearers jostled with excitement. The collection bowl was passed around, and each patron contributed 17 dollars to the 16-tentacle-r-extermination fund as the preacher continued his sermon. 

