[ WP ] Society has progressed to the point where cybernetic implants are common and cheap and incredible .

`` No. No no no no no. No.'' 
 
 `` Wha-? Jeff! You're killing me here. *Je-eff. *'' 
 
 `` No.'' 
 
 `` Well what's your programming degree good for then anyway?'' 
 
 `` *Not* for convincing the world that Mark Hastings has a large w-'' 
 
 `` Not just mine: *anyone's*! Well, anyone with ninety-nine big ones... And I guess one small one.'' 
 
 `` Okay fine. Assuming that hacking neural implants was even close to ethical, *which it isn't*, and that tricking girls to sleep with you has ever lived in the same area code as morally ambiguous, *which it hasn't*: why would any guy forgo biological augmentation in favor of freaking *iMBig*?'' 
 
 `` Have a robot pump stem cell biomass into your privates and risk a one in eight trillion chance of minor infection? Hmmmmmmmm. No thank you! I think I'll just spoof one of Trish's'fashion tip du jour' packets and increment'int percievedBulge'.'' 
 
 And after many more conversations like this that accomplished largely the same level of annoyance, and many many more annoyance induced stays in Jeff's favorite mental institution, Jeff finally caved in and proceeded to live life in the sort of luxury and opulence that only a man with a constant stream of forty four dollars and fifty cents can live. And live he did, just long enough too! For mere days after his solid gold coffin was lowered into the finest ultradirt, his main source of revenue was cut off, obsolete after the rediscovery of an ancient use of toilet paper that accomplished largely the same thing.
