[ WP ] The hero was killed , the princess was sacrificed , and the evil king rules the land . For the average citizen , though , things have taken a turn for the better .

**Eldrich The White Knight**: `` Fair gentlemen and gentlewomen of Farlandia. I have come to avenge the deaths of your good King Fairlawn and his daughter, Princess Moon. For years since the Black King took over, you have lived in this'' *Motions around* `` squalor. I for one seem to- uh... look I do n't usually do questions... Ok. Guy in the second row''. 
 
 **Peasant**: `` You do realize this is Historic Farlandia right?''. 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` Historic?''. 
 
 **Peasant**: `` Yeah. It's a tourist town. Most of us live in the city by the factories''. 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` Ahh yes. The factories. The Black King, has taken it upon himself to sell arms to the Orcs of Novenguarde and the Elves of the Red Forest''. 
 
 **Peasant**: `` If by sell arms you mean brought industry to a former farming community then yeah. He did that''. 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` So you think it's justified than?''. 
 
 **Elf**: `` You do realize it's called the Red Forest because the former King's father burned those villages right?''. 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` Yes but that was because-'' 
 
 **Elf**: `` We worshiped the tree gods. A practice the Black King okayed. Actually he made it legal to worship anything of your choosing. My husband worships the orc gods''. 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` Husband?'' 
 
 **Elf**: `` Yeah... Why?''. 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` Well... it's just that you're a... you know.... a male elf''. 
 
 **Elf**: `` Wow'' 
 
 **Peasant**: `` Not fucking cool bro''. 
 
 **Elf**: `` You know it's prejudices like that the Black King's'Equal Work' Program is trying to stomp out''. 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` EITHER WAY! You are forced to slave away in the factories-'' 
 
 **Female Peasant**: `` If by slave away you mean work a mandated 8 hour shift for good pay then yes we do''. 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` I'm sorry and you are?'' 
 
 **Female Peasant**: `` Miranda. I'm the head of the sword makers union. And I know personal stories do n't set a standard, but I'll have you know that'slaving away' made me enough money to move from my wicked step mother's house. You know what opportunities are available to women who live with their wicked step mothers? Either die and be a tragic heroes backstory, or marry a prince''. 
 
 **Peasant**: `` And... I hope you do n't mind me adding Miranda'' *Miranda holds up her hand and shakes her head in an'It's Ok motion'* `` Thanks. The Union has given us a minimum wage, a great healthcare plan, and no more sudden songs. When I was a farmer, Princess Moon would make us all burst out into song about birds and crap whenever she was happy. Which was fucking always. I got three kids. One in college to be a guard. I do n't have time for singing''. 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` Ah yes. The Guard. Or as we call it, The Black Army''. 
 
 **Elf**: `` Who have cut our crime rate down by 75 %. You see the key is community policing''. 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` ENOUGH! *draws sword* I WILL STILL AVENGE.......What is it now?'' 
 
 **Peasant**: `` You have a permit for that right?'' 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` What man needs a permit for a sword?'' 
 
 **Peasant**: `` Everyone. Do n't get me wrong the Black King decreed that the right to own a sword is guaranteed by decree. But we still have criminal background checks''. 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` If you're all so happy with your King then why are you listening to me?''. 
 
 **Elf**: `` We all have the day off. Blood Moon Day. The Black King made it so all important religious holidays are observed''. 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` Hmm. I guess he would with any Pagan-''. 
 
 **Elf**: `` Wow!'' 
 
 **Peasant**: `` Not fucking cool bro''. 
 
 **Miranda**: `` I bet the only reason you want to overthrow the King is because he's a BLACK King''. 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` NOOOO! I have plenty of friends who are Black Knights''. 
 
 **Miranda**: `` They just should n't be king right?'' 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` Well. Some of them-'' 
 
 **Miranda**: `` Uh-Huh. I see what this is about. Come on everyone. Back to the festival''. 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` Wait. No! You have to rise-'' 
 
 **Orc Guard**: `` Excuse me... Do you have a permit for that sword?'' 
 
 **Eldrich**: `` I don't-''. 
 
 **Orc Guard**: `` Ok pal. You're coming with me''. 
 
 **Elf**: *To Orc Guard* `` See you at home babe''. 
 
 Edit: Thank you for the gold
