[ WP ] The mega office buildings of the future have grown so huge that a nomadic people developed who travel from office wing to wing , subsisting on leftover doughnuts , birthday cakes , and pizza parties .

`` Ah, yes, here we see the noble nomads of the office. Not much is known about these gentle, plodding natives as they scurry through the air ducts and hallways of Airphone, Inc. Although this phenomenon has been discovered all over the world, by far the most prolific tribes are located here in the United States.'' 
 
 `` Observe as one of the alpha males sucks the last few coffee drops from a brewer. Notice how the rest of the pack looks on in sullen silence. Although they band together for survival, one can not say they feel any sense of camaraderie.'' 
 
 `` The first of these unique groups, many years ago, was discovered in Challenger Co.'s unused original buildings. The nomads prefer to be active only between 6 PM to 8 AM, so no one knows exactly when they first began living there. In fact, the only way we discovered them at all was when an accountant kept finding someone had stolen his doughnuts overnight, long after everyone else had gone home.'' 
 
 `` Although many scientists have speculated as to their origins, few can give a definitive answer. Some believe they are laid-off workers who did not have the skills necessary to survive in the outside world. Others believe they used to live in the places the office expanded into.'' 
 
 `` However they came to be, these nomads have become much better adapted to their new environments. If you observe the child playing with the copying machine, you can see quite clearly the veins beneath his skin. Because the nomads get very little sunlight within the depths of the office buildings, their skin has become paper-thin to absorb as much Vitamin D as they can in a few short minutes in the sun. `` 
 
 `` Their unique diet- high-calorie, low-nutrition foods- has lead to their unique tall, slender shape. See how their heads nearly brush the ceiling? This building has been designed for a different group altogether, and so they have a hard time fitting in.'' 
 
 `` Their clothing is cobbled together from jackets workers have left behind, paper structures, and loose cables. The badge on this male marks him as the'king' of the pack.'' 
 
 `` Ah, a fine example of their mating procedures. This is believed to be one of the primary prices of evidence that suggests they devolved from normal office workers. Two people will shyly look at each other for several minutes, sliding closer. If any other member of the group notices, then the two must immediately separate and not make a move on each other again. However, should they complete their surreptitious courtship successfully, they will go at it immediately- Oh, um- Uh- Cut that feed, Joe.'' 
 
 `` Ah, here. A tranquil picture of the alpha female of this tribe dividing up the spoils of a long day's work. Notice how each member of the tribe eats almost like we eat- one item at a time, careful not to get themselves messy.'' 
 `` That's it for today, folks! Tune in next week for a special on tribal warfare.''
