[ WP ] As a dragon of innumerable age you have guarded your gold horde for millennium . Many heroes have come with long speeches on how they will slay you , the great evil , none finish . However this one is odd.He throws a coin on your stash , looks you in the eyes and says `` I have a proposition for you . ''

`` Fuck me in the ass.'' 
 
 My thick dragon eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I coughed. The fire that was waiting to roast the bastard quelled in my throat. 
 
 `` Excuse me?'' 
 
 `` You heard me Dragon - stick your big fat dragon dick, up my ass.'' 
 
 I did n't feel amused. It'd been a millennium since my mating season. And this man was n't a dragon. I did n't even want to picture the logistics. 
 
 `` And suppose human, I seriously considered what you request. Do you think that act is worth a meager coin you just threw onto my pile of treasure?'' 
 
 The stupid knight nodded. 
 
 `` This is a dragon's lair not a brothel.'' I said in disbelief. `` Where's the respect gone? The tradition?'' 
 
 The knight took out a pouch of gold and awkwardly took a step closer to the horde, dropping a few coins more into the pile. He smiled conciliatory, as if he'd meant no insult. 
 
 `` What, you've got a dragon fetish?'' 
 
 `` Well no, not exactly.'' 
 
 `` Then why the fuck do you want to get fucked in the ass by a dragon?'' 
 
 `` That's what I was thinking too until I saw it in a painting and then I could n't stop thinking about it.'' 
 
 I put a massive claw to my snout and eyes in a dragon facepalm. In the corner of my hearing, I thought I heard a snicker. I looked at the knight, who had a neutral expression. 
 
 `` Okay.'' I sighed deeply, `` I'll grant you your request. Turn around and bare your rear.'' 
 
 He stammered. `` W-wait what, seriously?'' 
 
 I grinned widely, willing the heavy stone entrances closed with my familiarity of the lair. They landed with a heavy thud. 
 
 `` I- I was just kidding. There's no way -'' 
 
 `` A dragon's word is golden just like his horde.'' 
 
 He screamed as I opened up my wings, gusting heated air into the room. Fire jettisoned out of my mouth, creating a pillar 30 feet high. 
 
 `` DRAGON RAAAPE!'' I hissed between my teeth, eyes glowing. 
 
 The knight began to run back and forth in the stone hall, his helmet clanking up and down. 
 
 I spoke lowly in dragon tones, `` I bet your human manuscripts do n't know how big a Dragon dick is - but feel honored, because you're about to find out.'' 
 
 The knight was still looking for a way out, clawing at the stone gaps frantically. His gait started to look a little awkward as if he'd crapped his pants. 
 
 I almost felt sorry for the fellow until he pulled out his sword. 
 
 `` You take your dick out Dragon, and I'll cut your wanker right off!'' He breathed red-faced and with an expression of revulsion. 
 
 `` Chill out man.'' I said. `` Jared just wanted to pull a prank on you.'' 
 
 `` What, huh? What?'' The knight only looked more confused. 
 
 `` Your asshole friend? The guy who dared you to ask me to fuck you in the ass. That guy.'' 
 
 The knight sat, stunned - probably sitting in his own shit. My dragon sense of smell could detect it even from my height. 
 
 `` JAAARED'' He hollered, sword in hand, running out of the entrance of my now opened lair. 
 
 I smirked satisfactorily, being a dragon there were n't many things that could keep you entertained anymore. 
 

