[ WP ] An inanimate object comes to life at the worst possible moment

As the British advanced steadily closer, the American infantry scrambled to draw up into formed lines to defend themselves. The even waves of British infantry marched forward in strong, disciplined ranks. British artillery continued to perform its savage task with deadly precision, making it increasingly difficult for the Americans to properly form into lines. 
 
 Soon the American artillery was answering in kind, and both sides found themselves advancing towards one another through thick clouds of dust and smoke, tripping over their own fallen brethren. As the opposing forces surged into their penultimate arrangements, the first lines drew up their rifles, and took aim. Both sides let fly their first volleys in rhythm with each other, filling the air with thunderous noise and the unmistakable Ziiiipppp! of supersonic lead. 
 
 More men fell, and the next ranks prepared to unleash their own volleys. Just then, in the rifle of one of the soldiers, a small lead ball made in Virginia realized something was happening. This was most remarkable, not just that it had this realization, but that it was certainly the first small lead ball to realize anything ever. 
 
 The ball began to consider its current predicament in the few moments it had to consider such things. “ What is this place? And why is it so cramped? This little bit of cloth is really wedging me in here. ” The ball twisted itself to try and see more of its surroundings. 
 
 “ Ah, ” said the little lead ball, “ there is a small hole of light. That must be the way out. And look, there is a rather sharply dressed fellow standing just beyond the opening waiting for me. I think it may be nice to meet him. ” 
 
 Crack! 
 
 Ziiiipppp! 
 
 And met him it did. 

