[ WP ] you are the customs officer for hell

I look the guy over, glance at the shining piece of metal in his hand and look back up at him. 
 
 `` Sir, you ca n't take that in with you.'' 
 
 He glances at his shining metal and back at me. He's tall, sure, but nothing else. He does n't seem too smart and he seems generally confused, like most people who come this way. Though even if he had been a genius warrior king, they're all the same here. No special treatment unless they have some kind of deal with the Boss. 
 
 `` Oh, I... well, you see, I kind of like it.'' 
 
 `` Sir, any kind of weapon must be relinquished.'' 
 
 `` Well, yes, but... well, okay.'' 
 
 He hands me the sword. It's clean. Whatever fight he was in, he had n't been very successful. 
 
 `` So... how does this work? Do I get... like... a ticket or a number?'' 
 
 `` Pardon?'' I raise an eyebrow at him. 
 
 `` So, you know, I can get it back when I leave.'' 
 
 `` You... you think you'll leave?'' I'm honestly a bit baffled. Some people in line behind him are laughing. Good for them, one last laugh before eternal damnation. 
 
 `` Uhm...'' 
 
 `` Sir, to clarify, you are dead. This is the afterlife.'' 
 
 He looks around, even more confused now. 
 
 `` But... this is not what it said in the book.'' 
 
 `` Maybe do n't believe anything you read. If you could move on to my co-worker over there we can start with your personalized program. NEXT!''
