[ WP ] Time to choose a side ...

Go one more round -- *just this one and then I'm done* -- or stay true to my word and start cleaning up. Right now. 
 
 One more round would n't kill me. And I'm fucked up already. Tomorrow will be a wash at best. No use thinking the day could be any more than that. So then, why not? 
 
 I know why not. I've written that list over and over again. Why try to write any more? I'm just stalling even with these words. 
 
 I wish I knew where I would end up. I know what I want now, at this moment. And it does n't seem so bad after all. I thought writing would give me the courage or convince me I needed the happy ending of restraint. Maybe words would convict my empty will. But my words are empty too. Words and wills, what a waste. 
 
 Sleep: I'd try if I could. Hit the pause button until daylight. Always easier to fight off another go when the sun is looking down at me. The moon does n't care. The moon never brings anything but unrest. 
 
 So shoot? Stay straight? Shoot? Straight? What the hell is a straight shot? No middle road where I'm heading. I've tried that before... that road always leads to getting fucked up in the end. Why not? 
 
 Just another day and I'm already going crazy tonight. I ca n't watch another minute drag by, just to see myself waiting for one more. They do n't stop dragging and inching. Time does n't heal all wounds. Time is the wound. If I could fast forward, then there would n't be a question. But time is real and plays at one speed only. And I ca n't handle it. 
 
 Time to choose a side. I wish Time would choose a side. It seems like it already has. It chose for me by never letting up. But I'll wait one minute for Time to choose for me. I'll wait for Time to choose a side...
