A new dictator has taken over and thinks laughing is sinful like sex . You have been told you must pick only one person to laugh with the rest of your life . [ WP ]

I do it when it ’ s late at night. I find things on the internet to satisfy my cravings. And I when I do, I have to hold my breath so no one hears me. Biting my lip or covering my mouth with hot breath forcing its way through my fingers. 
 
 Sometimes, something will happen, and the whole family will erupt together. Of course there is the shame and embarrassment that follows afterwards. Sometimes we can ’ t help it! It just feels too good. My parents know exactly what I like and I ’ ve spent most of my life trying to please them anyway. There is of course the teasing that I give my brother. Watching him squirm like he doesn ’ t want to but I know deep down what gets him going. But it ’ s always done in secret. We have to because it ’ s a sin. 
 
 As I ’ ve gotten older it ’ s been easier to refuse advances from men. I ’ ve accomplished many things, and understood the world on a level I don ’ t think my ancestors could have thought. It ’ s not that I don ’ t like hidden tickles on cab rides home from a date, because I do! I have a collection of books that give me a thrill and have me falling asleep with a smile on my face. It ’ s a way to let built up tension go. Why should it be a sin? 
 
 I don ’ t remember a time when it wasn ’ t a sin. Our Supreme Leader took power when I was very young. I hear stories about how other countries let their citizens do it freely. That they don ’ t suppress their children from experiencing all of the things that biology allows. There are dating sites and groups dedicated to finding “ The one who can ”. I know there are popup clubs and secret groups dedicating to letting it all out. I ’ ve been tempted before. So very tempted. But for how free I am at home, I think I would clam up with others around. 
 
 I know couples who didn ’ t wait and said that it ’ s impossible to. That they wouldn ’ t dream of marrying someone without knowing the material first. Then there are the supporters of waiting. Because if you don ’ t wait then you know everything and there ’ s no mystery left. Father ’ s give their sons their best material. Mother ’ s tell their daughters how to lead and control their partner to give them exactly what they want. But, I ask what if their style isn ’ t ultimately for you? What do you do then? There ’ s counseling for it now. Lessons that men and women can take. 
 
 I ’ m so torn. 
 
 I can understand the precautions for sex. Unwanted pregnancies and dangerous infections. But…is laughter really infectious? Can it really do all the harm that the Supreme Leader says it can? A lot can be learned by a person ’ s laugh; it ’ s like you can know their soul a little better. Maybe that ’ s why it ’ s so sinful. Maybe people were giving of themselves too freely and that ’ s what got them hurt. I don ’ t know though. A chuckle at home and with family and friends can ’ t be that bad. 
 
... Can it? 

