[ WP ] You have near omnipotence and can bend reality to your will , but everyone knows you have this power and wo n't stop pestering you for favors .

It seems that no matter what I do, people always come to me needing something. I've tried changing my appearance to no avail; I seem to emanate an aura of power that people assume I'm capable of anything. I once disguised myself as an elderly woman with a walker and was asked to pull a truck out of a ditch. Seriously. I think video of it went on YouTube or something like that, but still, there ai n't no rest for the wicked I suppose. 
 
 I'm currently disguised as a homeless guy, complete with the street-lived wear and tear. I've found myself a comfortable bench to sit on, and so far, I've been enjoying the day. 
 
 `` Hey Mister!'' 
 
 Ugh. That's usually how it starts. 
 
 `` Yeah.'' Gruff response, but otherwise attentive and ready to hear the favor. It's a little boy dressed warmly with a backpack and a lunchbox. Ca n't be older than 12. 
 
 `` Can walk to school with me?'' 
 
 `` Sure.'' Why not, I did n't have anything in particular I needed to do. `` Where are your parents? Do they not walk you to school?'' 
 
 `` No, Mommy has a night job at the hospital and my brother has a job early in the morning, so I have to go to school all by myself.'' 
 
 I was impressed at the responsibility this kid had. More so than I was at his age. I noted the lack of a mention of daddy, so I decided not to pry. We started walking to school and he was telling me all about his mom and brother. She was an RN that worked the night shift in an ER, and he was a baker at a restaurant. He then started talking about what he does at school, and told me the strangest thing. 
 
 `` When I grow up, I want to be a super hero!'' 
 
 `` A super hero, huh? You, uh, do n't see too many of those guys. You think they have scholarships for super heroes?'' I ask. `` Maybe Super Hero School?'' He laughs and starts going on about something else. Oh to be young and full of wonder. 
 
 He suddenly walks up closer to me and holds my hand. I sense a feeling of dread and fear, quickly finding the source of it. A sleazy man struts up to us. 
 
 `` Who the Hell are you? What are you doing with my kid?'' Oh great. Probably divorced dad, is that booze on his brea- yep booze on his breath. I bet he's going to be all macho and try and pu- 
 
 He shoves me, hard. I do n't give, but the kid hides behind me. 
 
 `` I'll ask again, what are you doing with my kid?'' he growls at me. Oh this is cute. 
 
 `` He asked me to walk him to school.'' 
 
 `` That's my job you fuckin' pervert. You get off holdin' little boys hands, huh?'' 
 
 `` Oh no, not really. I get off beating deadbeat dads to a bloody pulp. How's your health plan?'' 
 
 A few punches thrown my way, I'm still not selling. `` Apparently its great.'' I wink at him and he flies back into an alleyway, knocking over some trash cans. 
 
 `` You ready to go?'' I ask the child. He nods and continues to hold my hand while we walk past. `` So is that your dad?'' He nods. 
 
 `` He was supposed to pick me up and take me to school. When he did n't show up, I figured I'd have someone else take me.'' 
 
 `` Anything else you want to tell me about him?'' He squirmed a bit when I asked him. `` Fair enough. If I had to guess, I'd say you're a little afraid of him.'' He did n't look at me, but I noticed a weak, barely perceptible nod from him. 
 
 `` You do n't have to be afraid of him. After all, you and I are super heroes, right?'' He looked up at me just as his dad decided that he was n't done. Moving the kid behind me, the dad attempts to tackle me. I pick him up off of the street and look him sternly in the eye. 
 
 `` You obviously are learning-impaired and drunk. So first I'm going to sober you up.'' His eyes are immediately focused in on me, and he starts to yell obscenities at me. `` Next, I'm going to tell you to shut up.'' He's no longer able to speak. He begins to understand what he's got himself into. 
 
 `` Your son is, rightfully, afraid of you. You are clearly physically violent towards others, especially when you're drunk, and you clearly have a lot of free time on your hands. So to fix this, I'm going to make so that any time you even smell alcohol you'll get sick to your stomach. Just to cover my bases, any drugs that you might come into contact with, will also make you violently ill.'' I have to say, it's these moments that I enjoy having god-like power, especially when you strike fear into the faces of mere men. 
 
 `` In addition to that, you will find yourself a job and clean yourself up. If you do n't, you'll be haunted by your inner voices, you know, the reason you started drinking in the first place.'' He's got this weird contorted face, like he's mad as hell, but at the same time, trying not to piss his pants in fear. 
 
 `` Lastly, you ever abuse this child, I will put you on the bottom of the ocean. Now be a good boy, and I wo n't have to put you in time out.'' I emphasize my last sentence by throwing him back in the alley. Oddly enough, I kept my cool better than I thought I would. 
 
 The rest of our walk went without a hitch. As I dropped him off, he asked me `` Do you really think I'm a super hero?'' 
 
 `` You very well could be.'' I chuckle. `` Tell you what. You do well in school, and I'll teach you how to be a super hero.'' That's how I decided to start my super hero internship program. It saves me the hassle of having to answer all these petty favors.
