[ IP ] Knight versus Swamp Monster

The boy opened the door and prepared to leave. A man's voice called after him from within. 
 
 `` Are you all set?'' 
 
 `` Yes.'' 
 
 A woman's voice called out, `` *Please* be careful.'' 
 
 `` I will.'' 
 
 The boy walked out into the world ready for the task that faced him. 
 
... 
 
 The horse's hooves began to make a *'' shlock, shlock'' * sound as the land around the rider became more treacherous. It was about an hour later, and the boy was almost at the end of his journey. He could see the clearing ahead, but there was still no sign of his target. 
 
 At the edge of the clearing, he stopped the horse. He looked at the ground - so young was he that the distance from his horse to the ground still seemed great. He carefully dismounted and drew his sword. `` You wait here, Bucklebee,'' he said to the horse. 
 
 He advanced cautiously into the clearing. When he reached the middle, he looked around him and frowned. There did n't seem to be any monster here. Perhaps another young questing knight had already cleared the swamp pass this season. No, that could n't be right - his King had sent no one else this way. From now on, this was to be the boy's work - `` twice a year, you'll clear the pass'' - those were the King's words. 
 
 At that moment he heard Bucklebee whinny, and he spun around to see the horse rearing up in terror before what seemed like a giant moving mass of black swamp-stuff. It had arms and legs, and something that might have been a face. It was a swamp monster! The monster lumbered toward the horse threateningly. 
 
 The boy began to realize that this was a much bigger task than he thought it would be. He was worried for the horse. 
 
 `` Hey!'' the boy called to get its attention. 
 
 The swamp monster turned slowly to face the boy. It paused and seemed to glare. The swamp monster did not like horses trotting on its swamp, but it liked humans even less. Horses only messed up the mud, but humans cut down trees and made a lot of noise. 
 
 He remembered to tighten the gloves on his hands - which his King had said was important. He did n't want to get the muck on him, which was said to have a black magic bound into it. 
 
 `` Blarrrgh!'' roared the swamp monster as it charged. 
 
 The boy's eyes grew wide. He tried to brace himself, and his sword was raised as the swamp monster rushed him. 
 
... 
 
 The man looked out of his living room window - then he did a double take. He had wondered what was taking so long. This was his son's first time, true, but they had practiced together on the garage. Now he looked outside and shook his head and chuckled to himself. 
 
 His wife looked in at him from the kitchen. `` Just what are you laughing at, mister?'' 
 
 `` Oh, nothing. I just think I need to give our son a hand. We'll be back in a sec to get cleaned up for dinner.'' 
 
... 
 
 `` Beast, yield!'' cried the boy, thrashing the swamp monster again with his sword. The boy was breathing heavily and swamp mud was spattered across his face. The beast was wounded, but it was not tiring. It swung again, and the boy leapt back to avoid the blow - but he tripped! 
 
 `` Blarrrgh!'' The swamp monster took the opening and dove onto the boy. Its attack was merciless, and the boy felt without hope. He closed his eyes and shielded himself from the monster's blows as best he could. 
 
 *Shlunk! * 
 
 `` Blarrrgh?!'' exclaimed the swamp monster in surprise. 
 
 The blows stopped. The boy opened his eyes. An arrow was sticking out of the swamp monster. 
 
 *Shlunk! * 
 
 Another arrow struck. 
 
 The swamp monster stood up and clutched at the arrows. 
 
 *Shlunk! * 
 
 The monster stumbled and fell backwards. 
 
 The boy carefully lifted himself off of the ground and wiped away some of the muck that covered him. He looked around and saw a bow being held by none other than the King! Suddenly the boy felt his face grow hot. He was ashamed of himself - ashamed he had not done what the King had asked of him. 
 
 `` I'm sorry…'' the boy started. 
 
 `` No, no, I'm just glad I got here in time! This was a hard task - and it's not over yet. I bet I forgot to tell you the most important part.'' The King walked up to the monster and unsheathed his own sword, then plunged it into the monster's heart. 
 
 The swamp monster reached up at the King but it was too late. The monster's hand fell to the ground, and it gurgled one final `` Blarrrgh…'' as its motion finally ceased. 
 
 The boy beamed. 
 
 `` Good job, we did it together,'' the King said. `` Now come on, let's get this cleaned up.'' 
 
... 
 
 The woman stood in the open doorway and she looked out onto the front lawn. Her jaw dropped and she laughed. `` What on *Earth* are you two doing?'' 
 
 The man answered. `` Just finishing up. Would you like to join us?'' 
 
 She took in the scene. Her husband and her son were sitting on the ground at the base of a ladder. They were covered in filth. The ladder was standing against the house, leading up to the gutters. The garbage bag that had been used to hold the gutter sludge had been tied up to the ladder and a large stick stood out of one of the many piercings it had made in the bag. A second bag was now being used to collect everything that had spilled out of the first. 
 
 `` This is n't how I remember cleaning the gutters…'' the woman remarked. 
 
 `` Well, we came up with a new strategy. And we've got the new expert right here.'' The man's forefinger left a fresh smudge of dirt on the tip boy's nose. The boy giggled and rubbed it off. 
 
 Finished, the man and the boy stood up. 
 
 The woman spoke to the boy. `` Go and grab the dog before you come in. I saw him in the backyard.'' 
 
 `` Come on, Bucklebee!'' the boy yelled as he skipped off into the back yard. 
 
 When the boy left, the woman walked up to the man and laughed as she avoided an exaggerated attempt at a kiss that had been launched by a very dirty face. 
 
 `` Blargh. Get away. Say, is that a pinecone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?'' 
 
 `` Oh, I forgot about that - yeah, that's actually a pinecone.'' The man tossed it onto the ground. `` I was using my pocket as a quiver.'' The man studied the box of garbage bags he was carrying. `` Do you know how many gallons a swamp monster is?'' 
 
 Without skipping a beat, the woman responded. `` At least four - for a small one.'' 
 
 `` I thought you did n't remember anything about cleaning the gutters?'' 
 
 `` Maybe a few things. You can both remind me about what I've forgotten over dinner.''
