[ WP ] Humans have never created weapons , but instead have bred and weaponized their animals to become war incarnate .

Gorillas, terribly strong creatures, capable of ripping a fully grown man to shreds at a whim. Tigers, yes, they are fast, bodies laced with lithe cords of muscle and sinew. Kitchen knives for teeth and talons for nails, they carry a sharpness to their eyes that seems to stop light. But the eyes do not stop light, nor do they project stillness. Some might interpret the eye as calm, but in reality the eyes tell the story of certainty. Certainty of death for most anyone who is unlucky enough to see such a sight. 
 
 Lions and Gorillass, like most other animals, were born into the world near the limit of their physical capabilities. During the inception of war, animals like Lions and Gorillas dictated victor between armies. But all changed one day when a boy named Yag was gifted a duck by his senile grandma. Grandma Xu looked upon her grandsons ugly face and said, `` Here is a duck, its for your birthday''. No tears were shed. The duck walked up to Yag and nodded. Yag smiled at the duck and then named him Vladimir. Aside from the birth of one of the greatest friendships of all time, no other noteworthy events occurred on this day. 
 
 Months later, Yag and Vladmir the duck were walking to school together. Yag was telling Vladmir about a new coconut juice and spicy pork that `` poor mother fucking street cook'' Shien was making. Shien was a good pal of Yag's, or at least Yag thought so. A lot of their relationship had to deal with the fact that Yag spent most of his money on Shien's spicy pork skewers. 
 
 `` I am telling you Vladmir, Shien's spicy pork skewers are going to be better than ever when accompanied by his new delicious coconut beverage'', exclaimed the mildly round boy. Yag walked excitedly towards school with Vladmir the duck struggling to keep up with his compadre. 
 
 Yag was a few strides ahead of Vladmir, when two young boys crossed the road and stared towards Yag viciously. These boys were class 7 assholes and have had it out for Yag all year long. Steven and Sarah were the boys names and they were flanked by two of their fathers warhorses and one giant cobra viper. The warhorses growled a low rumbling growl, eagerly awaiting the taste of blood. The snake slithered onto the horses backs and raised itself high into the air, preparing to strike. The snake was clad in combat armor. The two horses wore heavy mail jackets and shoes that were covered in razors. 
 
 Yag looked up to see Sarah and Steven issue forth a decree of combat to the death. Yag looked to his right sheepishly as a shopkeeper barred his doors.A young mother grabbed her children, currying them inside, into safety. Death was in the air. 
 
 Testing your animals strength in open combat was a common ritual in the Province of Tost. A common ritual that Yag had failed to regard with any interest his entire life. Yag looked up at the two terrifyingly large horses, atop which perched the viper. If death had a face, then surly this was the face it wore when smiling towards Yag. Vladmir the duck's heart was racing, he didn ’ t know what to do. He wanted to quack but he couldn ’ t, his heart was beating with the fury of an ocean storm. 
 
 Yag turned around and smiled at his good chum Vladmir the duck and then time stopped. Sarah and Steven nodded towards their warriors. The horses smiled, foaming at the mouth with eagerness for blood, but before they could move, the viper lashed out towards Yag. Vladimr yearned to help, to move, to do anything, but all he could do was watch. With unbridled speed, the viper knifed through the air towards Yag, who was still smiling at Vladmir. Vladmir cherished this moment, time stood still, at this point their was no past or future, only the then. And during then, Valdmir was hanging out with his good pal Yag. Then ended abruptly as the cobra viper collided into Yag's back and exploded out through his chest, leaving a bowling bowl sized hole in the boys chest. 
 
 Yag's smiling face faded as the life fell from his eyes and his body fell to the ground and became a corpse. Vladmir was left staring into the eyes of his dead comrade. 
 
 Sarah and Steven laughed at the pathetic challenge that Yag presented. Vladmir continued to stare towards yag as his heart dissolved. He cringed in paralysis. As the taste of the world disappeared, vision became stationary, and sensation left his heart. 
 
 Vladmir the duck was not even acknowledged as a potential opponent. The two warhorses of S^2 kicked and neighed, irked that they had been cheated out of a fight. Sarah and Steven turned around and took their first steps home, eager to recant an exaggerated tale of combat to their fathers expectant ears. Vladmir's sorrowful gaze dirft towards his little duck feet. The warhorses turned to follow Sarah and Steven as the viper finished bathing in Yag's blood. 
 
 Vladmir stood still, staring down at his feet as the cobra viper slivered away from Yag's corpse to rejoin his brothers of battle. The complex emotional structure that guided Vladmirs life was gone. It was as if a great storm had washed a large mountain chain away and replaced it with one long canal. And through this canal water did not flow. This was a canal that wanted to flow, but not with water, this was a canal that yearned to flow the souls of the dead. 
 
 Vladmir razed his beak from the ground and belched a faint quack towards the viper. Vladmir's eyes were the blackness of ink submerged in the darkness of a black hole. The viper chuckled as it readied itself to strike. Sarah, Steven, and the two war horses casually turned to regard the slaying. 
 
 Before the viper could strike, Vlad's eyes turned dark red, and two highways of light shot towards the viper, splaying him lengthwise with the heat of a thousand suns. The heat was so intense that after the viper was quartered, lengthwise, his innards burst into flame. 
 
 Sarah and Steven froze, regarding the duck with faces of terror. They began to open their mouths to beg for mercy but it was too late. Vladmir opened his mouth and issued forth four quacks. No ordinary quacks were issued, these quacks were unrefusable commands decreed by an empower of death. The air shook as the sound approached Sarah, Steve, and their now meek looking warhorses. Warhorses, huh, more like birthday ponies. The sound slammed into the four warriors and their bowels erupted with the force of falling tree. The warriors excrement was jettisoned from their rectums with astonishing fury. After the fecal matter came the liver then their ribs then their heart and then followed the rest of their bodies, leaving the warriors to have shit themselves inside out. Like turning a garbage bag inside out, through its asshole. Brain and bone and heart all perfectly intact, beating on a ground full of shit and blood. 
 
 Vladmir sighed to himself as a tear fell down his face in immense sorrow. And thus, the dynasty of the ducks was born into the world.
