[ WP ] You 're a spin doctor in the PR department . Employees in your company have been spontaneously combusting . Assure the public that everything is fine .

Hello everyone. Thanks for coming. I'd just like to make a quick statement about the grossly exaggerated reports of spontaneous combustion that have been going around. First of all let me begin by saying that ABV chemicals is a safe working zone. All our safety regulations and approvals are up to the mark. Copies will be handed out later, if you need one. Regarding the reports of employees spontaneously combusting, these are completely unfounded. Yes, there have been certain incidences of deaths that have taken place over the last week, however, they have just coincidentally occurred in the same week. The cause of death of these employees is still under investigation. Preliminary reports are inconclusive, hence, we do not wish to rush to any declarations. The deaths have all involved fires, however, this is a chemical company, and even though employees are all excessively trained in fire safety procedures, unexpected incidences do occur from time to time. I would request you to allow us, and the police, to investigate the matter in peace, as the health and safety of our employees is of the utmost important to us here at ABV Chemicals. In the meanwhile let me remind you that all our employees sign confidentiality clauses at the time of undertaking employment with ABV, so we request you to not pressurise anyone into doing something that might counter their contracts with ABV. Thank you all for understanding the need for sensitivity with this issue. Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of Ian, Jane, and Rohan. We will be in touch once new information is available. I will not be available for questions at present. Thank you for your time.
