[ WP ] Write about a character that has a `` weird soup thing '' ( just basically despises soup ) but seems to attract soup wherever he goes .

`` Would you like to hear our soups of the-'' 
 
 Mark slammed his fist down on the table. `` *No! `` * he yelled. `` Why does everyone ask me that whenever I go to a restaurant? Since when did McDonald's get soups of the day? *Since when? *'' 
 
 The waitress looked terrified. `` This is n't McDonalds, sir, I'm sorry, but I have to ask...'' 
 
 `` He has a weird soup thing,'' Joseph, Mark's roommate, said. `` Do n't worry about it, you did n't do anything.'' He turned to Mark. `` I think I'm ready to order, what about you?'' 
 
 Mark sat down and his expression changed from one of anger to one of a sort of inquisitive disinterest. `` Emm...'' he said, picking up the menu and flipping through it. `` Yeah, I think I'll just have the boneless wing plate, please.'' He smiled at the waitress and handed her the menu. 
 
 Joseph followed suit and handed her his menu. `` I'll have the ribs, thanks.'' 
 
 They both watched the waitress walk away. 
 
 `` What is it about soup with you, anyway?'' 
 
 Mark sighed. `` Well, it all started when I was but a boy of, oh, seven or eight. My family was poor when I was a child.'' 
 
 `` I thought your mother was a neurosurgeon.'' 
 
 `` She *was, * for a very short time. There was... an *incident*...'' 
 
 `` I thought she ran a very successful bed and breakfast.'' 
 
 `` It was only successful because she did n't charge anything for the rooms, bless her charitable soul.'' 
 
 `` So, she ran a homeless shelter?'' 
 
 `` What? No. It was a nice place, very classy.'' 
 
 `` I thought she was also absentee and abusive.'' 
 
 `` I did n't say that. You said that.'' 
 
 `` Why would I say that about your mother?'' 
 
 `` Anyway, my family was poor when I was a child. We did n't have much; mostly, we subsisted on rice, beans, and water. After the 90 inch tv we got when I was five, we could n't even afford that for months. Anyhow, I had always wanted to eat soup, but I was never allowed to have it. I would go up to my parents every night before dinner and I would say,'Can we have soup tonight?' and they would say,'No, stop asking. Next time you ask for soup you'll have to clean the toilet.' or,'That's it, go clean the toilet with your toothbrush.' One day, on Christmas morning, I woke up to find a can of twitter alphabet soup.'' 
 
 `` How is twitter alphabet soup different from normal alphabet soup?'' 
 
 `` It only has 140 characters.'' 
 
 `` What?'' 
 
 `` I was ecstatic. Soup, for me! I immediately cooked it up in our microwave and ate all of it. It was amazing. Unfortunately, though, as I later found out, my diet of only rice, beans, and water had not prepared be for soup. I was constipated and in horrible pain; after two weeks, I had the worst vowel movement I had ever had in my life. Ever since then, I've never eaten soup. I wo n't put myself through that again.''
