[ WP ] Time travelling tourists from the future are commonplace at significant historical events . You get home and find time travellers watching you for an unknown reason .

`` This is the eighth time this week. Stop traveling back in time and watching me rub one out!'' I hated time travelers. They were such creeps. They always stared so awkwardly, and, well, frankly made it difficult. Before this all began, I'd never have expected future people to be so, well, ugly, or fat, or fat and ugly. They had so few teeth. 
 
 `` Hurh-huh. Hyuck. 2216 N-yunka fa!'' Future-ese was a bastard mishmash of a language. The numbers had remained the same, but the accent was an odd variant that was both unknown and strangely familiar somehow. 
 
 `` I can-not fucking understand you. Speak... English. Why do you keep coming back to see me? Why at THESE particular moments?! Ca n't a man get some privacy?!'' 
 
 I never could understand why these people from the future kept coming back to watch me have a date with ol' Rosie Palms. Could I be, like the father of the next great leader? Maybe I would be like a male Sarah Connor. But if so, why did no one try to shoot me? Where's the goddamned reason? Why is everyone so bumpkin-like? 
 
 `` I've got a goddamned gun. I'm sick of warning you bastards from the future who keep coming back and acting like peeping toms. You got till the count of three to leave, or I'll shoot you where you stand.'' 
 
 `` Ywnah kre three?'' 
 
 `` Three, that's goddamned right. You got till three, you ugly future bastard to get off my property, or I'll shoot.'' 
 
 `` Three wvujk quaw?'' It was a question, but those damned future people did n't need to come to my house and ask me damned questions while I was drinking liquor and watching pornography. It just was n't right. These commie bastards just needed to get off my land. 
 
 `` No, not your damned three'vuhjik craw', you damned future bastard! Get off my land!'' 
 
 `` Three wvujk quaw!'' 
 
 `` Three.. Two... One..'' 
 
 `` Three... Two.. One...'' He made a shape like a diamond with his hands. 
 
 `` Goddamn it, not this again. We ai n't playin' the'counting handsignal' game thing you people always try to mind trick me with. I will shoot you bastards, I swear it!'' And I did. The cops were all my buddies in this town, and it helped that the future people all were intruding. 
 
 Goddamn it though, what do these people want from me?
