[ WP ] You are a schizophrenic maddeningly in love with the man/woman of your dreams . But you 're becoming increasingly unsure if she 's real , or just another hallucination .

Jun 19: I ran out of eggs this morning, so I had to walk around the corner to the little shop and pick some up. I waved at my new neighbor in the mail room. They did n't seem to notice me. Maybe I'll make them a pie and introduce myself later. Work was the same as always. Nothing special, nothing new. I suppose that's not such a bad thing considering. It's stable and after the adventures I've had recently, I think it could be good for me to just be kind of bland for a bit. For some reason I really wanted eggs for dinner too. Hard boiled on crackers this time, not poached. I debated starting this one off with, `` Dear diary, today I learned I suck at making poached eggs. I also learned I do n't like them that way at all.'' But I decided against it. Tonight was paint a model and sip whiskey night. It went about as expected. I could have sworn I had more colors in my paint box though. All in all Diary, today was boring. Sometimes I wonder why you care to listen. 
 
 Jun 20: I had to go get eggs again. I decided to make a cake instead of a pie for the new neighbor. After yesterday's work with poached eggs I decided to stick to what I knew I knew how to do. German chocolate it is. Work was work. I really wish I had more to say about it. No one interesting or new showed up at the office today. Now, Diary, the day did get more interesting once I finished the cake. It turned out well if I say so myself. Sarah, my new neighbor, was kind enough to say so at least. She invited me in. I helped her unbox a few things and we shared few glasses of wine. She's very nice and quite pretty. I came back here hopefully with a new friend. Perhaps I should start baking more? 
 
 Jun 21: Today, I DID N'T have to buy eggs. I did n't realize I enjoyed the morning walk so much. Maybe I should start that. I hate lying to you, Diary, I wo n't do it. I say I will, but I wo n't, we both know that. I think my coworker accidentally had a sex toy shipped to the office. It was pretty funny. I hope her boss does n't get too mad at her. I think the girl two cubicles over from mine was a bit horrified. I found that funnier than anything else. The cute neighbor girl asked where the best place to get beer and smokes was. I gave her directions to the convenience store a few blocks away. I joking asked her if she needed help consuming those. Surprisingly, she said that she did and that it would commence around 8pm tonight at her place. I do n't want to be late so I have to stop writing now if I want to get a shower. I'll tell you all about it later. 
 
 Jun 23: Sorry Diary! I did n't actually get home until now. I think things are actually going to get pretty serious if I play my cards right. With Sarah I mean. I spent the last two nights at hers. I did n't want to tell her about therapy yet so I'm not seeing her today. Therapy was so-so. No major break thoughs, just my doctor telling me that I should tell Sarah about my schizophrenia. Honestly, I'm a bit scared to tell her. 
 
 Jun 24: I went for a walk this morning and met a few dogs and their people. I still do n't know if I should tell her. I've been thinking about it all day. I'm fretting I know, but I ca n't help it. Jake called me today. He is in town and is most likely crashing the couch for a day or two. It will be good to see him. I hope I do n't wake up with my butt in the air and my nose in the hard wood again. My bed always seems to get narrower when I go out with him. Maybe I'll invite Sarah out with us. 
 
 Jun 25: Sarah came by this morning with a cake! She said she owed me one and even used the eggs from that convenience store because I like them so much. It was a lame joke, but it means she listens to me and I feel really good about this. She ca n't come out tonight with Jake which is a shame, but I guess life just happens that way. 
 
 Jun 26: I called in to work sick. God. I have n't been hungover until sunset in a loooong time. Jake and I have n't done too much but sleep and order pizza. I think he wants to go out again. I do n't know if I'm up for this kind of thing anymore. Ugh. 
 
 Jun 27: Jake thinks I'm crazy. He drunkenly yelled at me and left. I do n't really remember everything because of the booze, but I'm not sure he is wrong. He was right before, when we were room mates. Apparently, the store I go to for eggs burned down a few months ago. I... do n't really know what to think about that. I'm calling my doctor. 
 
 Jun 27 ( again ): While on the phone with my doctor I had an awful realization. Sarah said she bought eggs from the burned out store. I think it's happening again. I think I dreamed her up. AGAIN. I know the signs. How did I miss this??? No one I trust to exist has seen her. She is too perfect. SHE BOUGHT THOSE DAMN EGGS! Why? I might not write for a while, Diary. I'm checking myself back into the ward. I do n't know if I'll be allowed a pen. 
 
 July 30: So, hi Diary. I'm out. It was a long month. It was a bad month. About two weeks in I got a card from Sarah sending me well wishes. She was real and I over freaked out. She really did like me, but I do n't think I can recover from this. I talked to her on the phone. She thought I went to the gas station for groceries. I feel so stupid. I know I still needed help, but I messed it all up with her, Jake, my job, and everything. And I still need eggs.
