[ WP ] A demon who is really bad at his job keeps accidentally making the person he is possessing 's life better

`` Look, I tried my best. Standard routine. Seven deadly sins. 
 
 Start off with the easy one right, LUST. I get him to oogle this pretty girl walking passed, get all those immoral thoughts in his head you know. What does she do? Smile back! They start talking. Next thing you know, they're on a date. Now they're married. Yeah, I know, what are the chances right!? 
 
 So I think GLUTTONY. Get him nice and fat. Maybe it'll make this new wife divorce him. So I get him eating. And eating. And what does he do? He loves eating so much, he learns how to cook. Wife loves him even more. He's found some new hobby that makes him happy. And he does n't even go near McDonalds. The guy grows stuff in his fricking garden! Natural ingredients... organic... urgh, makes me sick. 
 
 Okay, so GREED. This is simple. Greed always works. He's got a quiet job, works hard, and is happy with what he has. So I get him to think big, think more, think about getting rich. I keep him up all night thinking about it. Until the next morning, he walks into work, straight to his boss's office, and tells him `` I want a raise''. Turns out, the boss loves this guy, but thought he was too soft for a promotion. Admired the balls it took to ask for a raise, and happy as anything, tells him he will be heading the new division of their company. Makes me sick. 
 
 So I'm getting scared now. SLOTH. How can sloth go wrong? He's meant to pick up his wife this evening right. So I get him really lazy. Get him to forget, fall asleep in front of the TV. Small thing I know, but I'm running out of hope. And sometimes the small stuff works best. Well she get's home, angry. Wakes him up. They have an argument! It's going perfect. They keep arguing. And then they start talking. And they have this lovey dovey moment where they forgive each other. And then they `` go forth and multiply''. This is n't how it's meant to work! Now they got a kid. They love him to bits. He's a cute kid, but this whole thing is going wrong. 
 
 WRATH next. WRATH is a hard one. It's not something you can work up easily in a person. It takes time, you need to set it bubbling. Like boiling water on a small fire, or blowing up a balloon. It takes time, but then there is a moment it all snaps. So I spend years working on this guy's wrath. Years. I'm playing the long game. I almost got him ready to blow. I'm just waiting to get the right trigger, whether it's the small cute kid he has running around his house, or his wife, or his old parents, I want to find something juicy. Well before I can get it right, something else happens. He's walking home from work late, and passing through a quiet road, he see's another demons project. A good guy getting mugged by a gang. Well, usually my guy would call the cops and leave it. But I've got him all wrath'ed up. And he snaps. Runs over, stops them, does n't even call the cops. He's shouting at them, eventually starts fighting one of them. The others run off, thinking this is all going pear-shaped. Cops arrive a bit later. Turns out it was all caught by some guy on his iPhone from his flat. Video goes viral. The man becomes a hero and suddenly everyone's talking about how we ca n't be bystanders anymore. I'm devastated. I mean this is years of work down the drain. 
 
 ENVY. I do n't even want to try this. I'm sick of it all. But it's next in the playbook. There are very few ways ENVY can go wrong though. You should n't want what others have, full stop, especially neighbours. Well I get him to start looking at his neighbour. He's retired, much older than my guy, spends all day gardening, playing with his grandkids, reading books. I make him envious of this guy's lifestyle, while he's at work most hours, barely sees his family, only the odd holiday. The key with envy is that it leads to discontent, which leads to frustration. It starts with the small things, you stop enjoying the things you love, you start complaining more, people stop enjoying your company. It's a disease, it ruins your relationships, your happy moments, keep you from enjoying what you have. Well, my guy decides he does n't enjoy his job anymore. That he wants to live a retired lifestyle, but he's mid thirties, so he ca n't. Except he did. He quit his job. Invests his money into a few different local businesses, and starts working two days freelancing instead. He has less money now, but he spends time more time with his kid and wife, and they have a new one coming, and he's all... happy. 
 
 PRIDE. I've already given up. What can PRIDE do when all six previous sins did n't work. But the Big Boss reminds me, PRIDE is the big one. When a person is happy, and has it all, PRIDE makes them think they're better than others, that they did it themselves. PRIDE is last because it's often a person's biggest downfall. Never give up on PRIDE. The difficulty is that you do n't know how PRIDE manifests. A person can die happy and proud, but it's enough to make him a horrible human being. 
 
 I'll never know if PRIDE has worked by the way. Not until he get's to the Pearly Gates and is told no. Still... a demon's got ta try'' 

