[ WP ] You 're a kid 's imaginary friend

I look down and I see nothing. Its like im a ghost. I want to feel something. Even if its not real, just to know that im alive. To know that I exist. I want to transverse worlds and travel oceans. I could have been a world class painter or maybe better yet a bullfighter in a rodeo. 
 
 I want to feel alive. But no matter what I do, be it drugs or alcohol or sex, it, like most good things, never lasts. 
 
 Its like if I was n't here no one would have even been aware of my existence. 
 
 Yet i exist still, for some reason or another. Sometimes I wish I could close my eyes and everything would just dissappear. 
 But my thoughts pervade. 
 
 I find it sad. 
 
 Even in a lucid state i feel like im dreaming and that maybe one day things will happen that will snap me out of mt every day numbness. 
 
 As the years pass i can feel my memories slowly fading. One day they will exist no more forever. 
 Almost as if, i were imaginary.
