[ WP ] Most wizards study ancient texts and forgotten grimoires . This one studies physics .

*... localization of exposure. Acute radiation sickness results from large dose exposure as little as one time. Exposure at 200 to 500 rems usually result in 50 % mortality rate. Single doses greater -- * 
 
 I sighed as the paper ball bounced off the back of my head, closing the book in front of me and looking down at where the crumpled note had fallen to the floor. With a shudder, the ball floated back up into the air and then shot forward, rebounding off my left eyebrow. With a glare and a flick of my fingers, I incinerated the note before it could hit me again. 
 
 `` Hey nerd,'' I heard someone call from behind me. Probably Gerald; that guy was a total ass. 
 
 The key in these situations is to not actually turn around when someone starts talking shit like that. If you respond, they get an immediate advantage, since you're basically admitting that you think of yourself as whatever it is that they just called you. Better to make them repeat themselves a few times. That's practically an automatic reduction in social standing. 
 
 Sorry for the tangent. I've just had a lot of experience with this kind of shit, which is surprising, since I'm at Bacon's School of Wizardry, where your ability directly correlates with how much you study. You'd think the people who go here would be a little less likely to be assholes about this kind of thing, right? 
 
 Turns out that people are assholes wherever you go. Not that I'm bitter, or anything. 
 
 Okay, maybe a little bitter. 
 
 I felt a heavy hand fall on my shoulder, followed by a voice that was ever so slightly nasal. `` I was talking to you, Stevens,'' the voice said. `` Did you like my note?'' 
 
 Yep, definitely Gerald. `` My mistake,'' I said cheerfully. `` I thought you were talking to yourself. I hear that's the first sign of insanity, you know.'' I carefully brushed the ashen remains of Gerald's enchanted projectile off of the library table and into a nearby wastebasket. `` Maybe next time you use my name, instead of a moniker that applies more closely to yourself than it does to me.'' 
 
 Gerald laughed at that. `` I'm not the one reading these fucking nerd books, Stevens,'' he said, tapping on the front of my newest physics book. *Isaac's Guide to Elementary Radiation Theory* was good with the basics. Always good to review the basics. 
 
 `` Did n't I see you reviewing *Gramaldine's Arcane Synthesis of Thaumaturgical Necronopsy* last week? Even if you were probably holding the book upside down --'' he scowled at that, `` -- I'm fairly certain that still counts as a'nerd book'.'' 
 
 `` Gramaldine was a fantastic wizard, you little shit,'' Gerald snarled. `` And it's with his works that I'm going to kick your ass at our next dueling session tomorrow,'' 
 
 `` Gramaldine was a fantastic wizard three hundred years ago, maybe,'' I corrected. `` But I guess we'll see how well he compares to an integration of rigorous spellwork and modern physics theory. My guess is not well.'' 
 
 Gerald scowled and stormed off in a suitably dramatic fashion. He'd always been good at that. Not all that great at proper dialogue, but we ca n't all be perfect. 
 
 Gerald and I had a history, if it could be called that. The two greatest students in all our classes, each of us representing either the past or the future of magic, we constantly struggled to outdo each other. 
 
 The next day, as I stalked onto the training field for the beginning of our Academy mandated dueling course, I knew that I was finally going to prove that my method was superior. 
 
 `` You two know the rules,'' our instructor said. `` This is a simulation of what you'll likely end up doing after you move on to the Canadian Grand Army. None of the darker magic -- you two know what to avoid -- but other than that you can each cast what you like. I'll decide when one of the shields I'm putting around you has taken enough damage for one of you to claim victory. Begin on my mark.'' 
 
 After double-checking the wards she's put on us, the instructor took a dozen large steps back, getting out of our line of fire, and I stared across at Gerald. There was a confident smirk on his face. 
 
 `` 3,'' the instructor said. 
 
 I was going to wipe that right off his fucking head. 
 
 `` 2.'' 
 
 Geez, when did I get so damn invested in kicking his ass? Not that I was n't going to let myself enjoy it, of course. 
 
 `` 1.'' 
 
 I reviewed my first set of spells, hoping that they were n't too aggressive. I wanted to draw this out as long as I could. A true comparative analysis, as it were. 
 
 `` Go.'' 
 
 My hands flashed up into the ready position, each of them casting a separate spell. A convex shield sprang up in front of me, deflecting the three flashing missiles of energy that Gerald had fired as his opening move. I barked out a short laugh and retaliated with a spray of razor sharp flechettes, each half a foot long. 
 
 Basic rule: kinetic energy was less dense than thermal energy, and costs less mana to attack with. The flechettes sparked as they slammed into the flat shield he'd conjured. I recognized it as one of the basic defensive spells in *Gramaldine's Arcane Synthesis of Thaumaturgical Necronopsy*. 
 
 I smiled a bit at that. Any student worth their salt knew that it was better to deflect an attack than it was to stop one cold. 
 
 `` You're not going to get far casting like that, Gerald,'' I shouted at him, ducking out of the way of some rainbow hex that I could n't identify. `` You'll need to be more efficient!'' 
 
 `` Shut *up*!'' he screamed back. Rolling his shoulders and slamming his hands together, Gerald wove together a massive fireball and waved it towards me, burning mana as heat. 
 
 How wasteful. I reached out and sucked the heat out the fireball, smushing it into the ground between us. The grass on the field smoldered as the air particles in the fireball decelerated, only held together by a thin lattice of spellwork. I blinked a few times as the sphere of warm air that the fireball had become washed over me. 
 
 `` I knew you were full of hot air, Gerald, but this is a new low for you,'' I said, firing off a thin beam of light that heated the air between us to plasma. Gerald jerked back sharply as he pulled a boulder between us, and the lightning spark of the electrons that I'd sent coursing down the plasma channel created a flash of light as it collided, blinding both of us for a moment. 
 
 `` Fun fact,'' I said, pulling together a quick series of enchantments. `` Our school is almost half a mile above sea level. The pressure differential between --'' 
 
 Gerald's face twisted in fury as he cut me off with another massive blast of flame, this one so dense it was almost a solid object. 
 
 Fine. No more small talk, then. 
 
 The fireball was immediately swallowed by the portal I'd been conjuring. It opened just off the coast of New Zealand, oddly enough -- I still was n't sure why -- where the air pressure was quite a bit higher than it was at our school. 
 
 Most people underestimate just how much of a *difference* that pressure makes, though. What came through the portal was n't just a light breeze of warm air. 
 
 Instead, it was a roaring blast of wind, faster and more concentrated than a hurricane. Gerald's next projectile flew off wildly to the side as my ears popped from the shockwave, and Gerald was lifted off his feet and slammed into the wall at the edge of the arena, our instructor's shield buffering his collision. 
 
 There was a flash of light as the instructor dispelled my portal and teleported over to Gerald and helped him up. `` The victory goes to Lucas Stevens,'' she called out, raising a hand in my direction. 
 
 I jogged over to where Gerald was struggling to stand and gave a short, sharp bow. No point in being too much of an ass now that I'd proved myself. `` Good match,'' I said, holding out my hand. 
 
 Gerald gave me a jerky nod of his head and then staggered again. He look atrocious. When had his skin gotten so pale? 
 
 Our instructor gave him a confused look. `` I will be escorting Gerald to the hospital wing,'' she said. `` Very clean work, Stevens. Stay here and review last week's notes while I'm gone.'' She turned and, casting a quick spell, began to levitate him towards the school. 
 
 `` I would have won after the first spell, actually,'' I mumbled. 
 
 She turned back towards me, raising an eyebrow. Behind her, Gerald was sweating copiously. `` What was that?'' 
 
 I spoke a little louder. `` Well, the first one I cast produced a beam of gamma radiation. Invisible, but it would have been pretty deadly if it had actually connected.'' 
 
 Her face whitened. `` You did *what*?'' she sputtered. 
 
 Behind her, Gerald vomited. It was red. 
 
 And it was only then that I realized that our instructor's shield was invisible, and that no matter how good it might have been at deflecting shrapnel and curses, it did n't, could n't, stop light. 
 
 Could n't stop radiation. 
 
 Fuck.
