[ WP ] You wake up in a white room at a white desk facing a man who claims you are dead . You are in purgatory . You can get the answers to as many questions as you can ask in one minute .


 An angel appeared floating above, beautiful and terrifible. In a booming bassive voice he said, 
 
 “ Ok, listen to me. I ’ ve conveniently stopped time for a moment. Try to focus now, —this is important—you are on the very brink of death embrace. You ’ ve got literally your last breath in your chest. I will answer every question you ask with that one breath—so ponder deeply ( just a moment ) and do not waste it “ 
 
 I pondered then as long as I dared, and burst out “ Isthereagod wasigoodperson ithereheavenandhell ifsowhereamIheaded istherereincarnation whichreligeonwasright whywerethecubssobadforsolong willIgetreincarnated whyonly60seconds canIseemymotheragain whowinsthenextpresidenttialelection ishumanitydoomed istimetravelpossible domykidsturnoutok canyouletthemknowIlovethem howdidIdie whateverhappenedtomyhulknumberone howshouldIhavelivedmylifedifferently whyarepeoplesomeantoeachotherlikeglobally whatisthemeaningoflife whatshouldIhaveasked canyouanswerthatquestionretroactively ” 
 
 My lungs began to burn as I eeked out the last couple questions. As soon as I finished my eyes implored and he drew a might breath, returning kind in kind— 
 “ Notassuch yes no pass no none wereallyhavenoidea no doyouhaveanyideahowmanypeopledieeveryday verrysorrybutno BernieSanders yesbutnotforawhile yesbutonlyforward yesthingsworkoutlovelyforthem theyalreadyknow caraccident youngerbrothersolditforweedmoney youshouldhaveworkedmore itsthewholemonkeybrainthingyouhumancantseemorethanacouplehundredofyouasyourtribe thepurposeoflifeistoexploitroublesomebuiltuppocketsofhighenergy/lowentropy amIactuallynotdeadbutonacrazyrealityshow yes ” 
 
 And with that I gasped in the greatest single breath of my life, and with that noticed all the cameras… 

