[ WP ] Write an erotic story using the worst slang terms possible for each act/body part .

( NSFW ) 
 
 His one-eyed weasel was dripping furiously from the mushroom tip as he fapped vigorously to the blurry pr0n streaming on his cell phone. His breath hiked in his throat as he neared his skeeting threshold. He sat on the edge of his bed with his anaconda gripped tightly in his sweaty palm, moments away from blasting his mansauce, when the door banged open. 
 
 `` Holy shitlord, that's a fat ol' baby arm,'' Sheila gasped as she stepped in through the doorway. She wrenched her tube top off over her head and let her funbags spill out, proudly displaying her salami-sized areola. 
 
 `` I'm'bout to schlob your schlong.'' Sheila got down on her knees and began forcing his cockmeat down her chokehole with wild abandon. 
 
 `` Yeah, Sheila, gag on my pork sword,'' he grunted thickly, eyes rolling into the back of his head. 
 
 She pulled his skin flute out of her mouth with a wet pop. 
 
 `` I'm gon na drop my hot box right on your horse cock.'' 
 
 Sheila turned around before bending over and yanking down her miniskirt, flashing her brown star briefly before spinning back around and jumping on top of his D. Her tuna taco spread wide for his third leg as she slammed her ba-donk-a-donk down onto his lap. 
 
 `` Yeuh, take my meat sleeve's temperature with your 100 % all-beef thermometer,'' Sheila urged as his stinky pickle pounded with gusto in and out of her hair pie. 
 
 `` I'm gon na shoot. I'm bout to dump a load all up in your honey pot. This corn dog is about to fill up your beaver with all my nut butter. My heat-seeking love missile is set for blast off!'' 
 
 He hosed down Sheila's love tunnel with his man chowder and then collapsed into a deep coma. 

