[ WP ] You are Neckbeard , the most famed and feared pirate in history . Tell us about your exploits .

Just last week while docked in Port-au-Prince, I left the hold ( where I run my empire from ) and wandered into town. My mother had expelled me from the hold of her ship for the evening sending me into town to fend for myself for the evening and she only gave me 3 doubloons. Seriously the nerve of that woman. I'd have my revenge. 
 
 I first came upon a man selling jerk chicken. The aroma was quite delicious. He wanted a whole doubloon for a chicken and some rice. He wanted half a doubloon per chicken. I negotiated him down to 3 chicken for one doubloon. Haha that fool. I ate all 3 chickens then continued my quest to finish my collection of `` My Little Pony'' collectibles. 
 
 This evening I was in search of a mint Princess Celestia. I found some children playing with one. I used my massive strength to over power all three of the 6 year old girls but theirs was filthy so I threw it into a dumpster.
