[ WP ] You murder someone , later you are attending their funeral .

`` Friends and family, thank you for being here. It means a lot to me that so many of you would turn out to attend today. He was a popular man.'' 
 
 **Stupid thing to say about a man who got murdered. ** 
 
 `` Eric was a gentle soul,'' 
 
 **Must have been why the bitch went down so easy. ** 
 
 `` and to have him cut down in his prime -'' 
 
 **Thirty eight is not'prime'. ** 
 
 `` - is heartbreaking. All of us here today feel this way: heartbroken. 
 
 **Speak for yourself. It's only a shame I could n't kill him twice. ** 
 
 `` Eric touched many -'' 
 
 **Including my wife. ** 
 
 `` The effects of which can be seen today.'' 
 
 **See above. ** 
 
 `` And while we may never understand what twisted soul -'' 
 
 **LOL** 
 
 `` - what sick individual -'' 
 
 **Alright, steady on. ** 
 
 `` - would ever think to hurt him like this, we can only hope he finds forgiveness.'' 
 
 **Oh, now you're just trying to make me feel bad. ** 
 
 `` A little piece of Eric will be forever in our hearts -'' 
 
 **And my desk drawer. ** 
 
 `` -and his memories will go on. All of us will remember the last time we saw him when we're alone.'' 
 
 **And masturbating. ** 
 
 `` So let us join together in silence, and say a final farewell to Eric.'' 
 
 **'' Goodbye, you sleazy motherfucker. I'm glad I killed you. `` ** 
 
 Eighty pairs of eyes turned around and looked at me. 
 
 **Fuck. Did I just say that out loud? **
