[ WP ] You work at a call center giving customer service to the magic community .

I have n't even gotten my morning coffee yet. I barely even have time to get comfortable before the damn phone will *ring ring ring*. 
 
 `` Hello, thank you for calling the Ministry of Magical Support. My name is Drew, I'll be assisting you today. Can I get your name?'' 
 
 
 `` Yeah. My spell is n't working,'' said the harsh voice completely ignoring my question. 
 
 
 `` Sir, I'd love to help you with that, but I'm going to need some information from you first. Can you tell me your name?'' 
 
 
 `` Yeah,'' he says, just before the sound of silence. I swear it's to early for this. 
 
 
 `` Sir, I believe we're having some connectivity issues. Can you tell me your name, preferably spelling it out?'' 
 
 
 `` God dammit, Yeah! Y-E-A-H. You got that! How many times do I have to say it?!'' What're the odds of that. Did n't think I'd be apologizing this early in the day. 
 
 
 `` By deepest apologies, Mr. Yeah. What type of spell are you trying to perform?'' Hopefully he is n't to upset or this call might last till lunch. 
 
 
 `` I ca n't say, but it's not working.'' One of the biggest problems, everyone's cryptic when it comes to their casting. 
 
 
 `` Okay, Mr. Yeah. Can you tell me what elements you are incorporating into your spell?'' 
 
 
 ``... Wands, pentagrams, and Old Words.'' That literally covers every spell imaginable. It's okay Drew, just stick to the script. 
 
 
 `` Mr. Yeah, what type of wand are you using?'' 
 
 
 `` A wooden one...'' Come on, man. They're all made of wood. I can barley contain myself. If I laugh at another client, it's a one way ticket to HR. 
 
 
 `` Okay, sir. Did you use lamb or goat blood to paint the pentagram?'' 
 
 
 `` I... does it matter? Your not being helpful at all!'' 
 
 
 `` I'm sorry Mr. Yeah, I'll try to hurry this along. It does matter, depending on what spell you'd like to cast.'' 
 
 
 `` I bought it from a street vendor, he said it was 100 % cruelty free. It was n't labeled! Goat I think, no, maybe deer?'' 
 
 
 `` Okay, Mr. Yeah. Deer blood contains no magical properties. I do n't know exactly what you...'' 
 
 
 `` Goat or Lamb blood then! F*** it, why does it matter to you? I call, wait an hour to talk to someone and you're no help at all.'' Keep your cool. It'll be over soon. 
 
 
 `` Okay, Mr. Yeah. Just a few more questions. Are you using the standard five limb pentagram?'' 
 
 
 `` I'm using a three limb pentagram...'' A what? No, no, no. How does this guy even do magic. 
 
 
 `` I'm sorry Mr. Yeah, but are you aware that the minimum number of limbs on a pentagram is five?'' 
 
 
 `` All my pentagrams have three limbs, it works fine this way. Why are you insulting me!?'' 
 
 
 `` Again, I am sorry Mr. Yeah. That was n't my intention. Everything would move a lot smoother if you told me what kind of spell you were trying to cast.'' Silence takes the phone line, enough at least to catch my breath and regain focus. 
 
 
 ``... I'm trying to turn a porcelain doll into a human.'' 
 
 
 `` Mr. Yeah, are you aware that Human Transmutation has been illegal for over a millennia?'' 
 
 
 `` Well that's why I did n't want to tell you! But you *had* to know, I'll have you know I'm never calling here again!'' 
 *Click* 
 
 
 Huh, HR's going to have a kick out of this call. At least now I can go get my coff -- *Ring Ring Ring* 
 God dammit. 
 
 EDIT: Formatting
