[ WP ] One day , while petting your cat , you accidentally pull his tail , and it opens up . Inside , there 's a USB connector . You connect it to your laptop , an announcement pops up . -Cat Version : 1.0.0 . Update to 256.3 ?

I keep weird hours of sleep. 
 
 I honestly ca n't remember the last time I had breakfast before noon. Through a combination of work, and genetics, I typically wake up at 1pm and go to bed at 4am. R.E.M. could have been describing me. 
 
 I do n't think my cat minds, though. His name is K, and I bought him from the local animal shelter. He likes to lie on my laptop when I'm not using it, which is rarely. Otherwise, he'll step on the keyboard and mess up my work. I once lost a six thousand word transcript when he stepped on the power button. That got me in trouble. 
 
 Anyway, I'm writing this because of something that happened recently. 
 
 After making myself a bowl of cereal, I shuffled back to my bedroom, where I needed to work on decrypting new transmissions. As I went to shut the door ( security is important ), K ran in and I accidentally shut the door on his tail! 
 
 He started making a terrible noise, and then eventually ran away, and I watched in horror as his tail came clean off! 
 
 I turned on the light, waiting to see the huge mess of blood I'd have to clean up, but there was nothing. I went to open the door to collect the tail, and noticed something very strange about it. 
 
 It had a USB connector. 
 
 K began to meow at me, as if to say `` Plug it in.'' I had a terrible urge to destroy the tail, burn it, erase my memory of it... but I did n't. 
 
 Instead, I picked it up and plugged it into my laptop. Work could wait, I had to get to the bottom of this. 
 
 After installing the software, a message popped up on my screen. I looked in shock at how old the interface was, as it was evidently designed for hardware decades old. 
 
 WELCOME TO CATOS 
 VERSION 1.0.0 
 ( C ) 1973 FELIDIGITAL, INC. 
 
 That was it. I pressed enter, waiting to see what happened. Silence, and then... 
 
 21,165 UNREAD MESSAGES 
 1973-07-14 INSTALL VERSION 1.0.1 
 1973-07-15 INSTALL VERSION 1.0.2 
 1973-07-15 INSTALL VERSION 1.1.0 
 
 Scrolling down to see the latest message, it was dated from last Wednesday, and said INSTALL VERSION 256.3. 
 
 `` Why not? ``, I said to myself, and began downloading it. 
 
 ⚠️ To complete installation, please reconnect USBTail to Cat. 
 
 Not knowing what to expect, I plugged the tail back into K, who seemed happy to be reunited with it. He meowed at me, and I scratched his head. 
 
 There was a chiming sound, and K said, in perfect English, `` Sorry, I'm not sure what you said.'' 
 
 `` What the hell?'' Even knowing my cat was a cyborg, this was unusual. 
 
 Unfazed, K said, `` Here's what I found on the Web for'What the hell?''', and rolled over so I could rub his belly. 
 
 I started rubbing him, and found a Velcro patch on his chest. Pulling into off, i felt his cold metal stomach, and saw the words that would haunt me for the rest of my life. 
 
 *Designed by Apple in California. Assembled in China. *
