[ TT ] Your toilet is clogged , you need to go to the hardware store , and there is a zombie apocalypse outside .

The smell was getting overwhelming. 
 
 It started about a week ago. After eating nothing but crackers, canned tuna, and dried oatmeal for a few days ( some of my last rations ), I was getting severe indigestion. After grunting and heaving on the toilet for over an hour, to my dismay I discovered the toilet was clogged. I kept using it, until my shit was almost overflowing over the edge of the bowl. I had barred all the windows and there was no way I was going out into the living hell of the city to deposit my crap. But I had no cross-breeze; no fresh air. 
 
 The smell was getting overwhelming. 
 
 I did n't have a plunger. I started burning scrap paper to cover the smell. Then I developed a nasty cough from all the fumes. I felt like I was going crazy. I was literally wallowing in my own shit. I did n't have a choice. 
 
 I had to go out. 
 
 Luckily there was a hardware store down the street. I planned it all out... go out at the crack of dawn, bring my trusty axe, stay quiet; in & out, speedy & easy. So I got ready, said my prayers, and hoped to God there were no Zombies who had made their way into the store. 
 
 Surprisingly, it was a pretty quiet morning. I had n't been outside in weeks, and there was nobody around. Dead quiet. I went to the hardware store, grabbed a plunger, a bucket, and some air freshener, and skipped back to my apartment. 
 
 As I was walking up to my front entrance, I noticed the door was slightly ajar. Fuck. Did I leave my fucking door open because I was so preoccupied with everything else? 
 
 I tip toed inside, brandishing my axe. Everything was where I left it.'Damn I'm lucky today', I thought. My stomach started to rumble. It was time to drop the kids off at the pool. So I set my axe down and walked into the bathroom. 
 
 There were two young girls hovering around the toilet. I gasped. They turned to look at me. Blood red eyes. Cracked lips. Zombies. Fuck. 
 
 I tried to run but they jumped on my back and started tearing into my flesh. 
 
 `` Fuck it,'' I thought, `` I had a good life''. 
 
 Shit happens.
