[ WP ] You are a horny Dr. Seuss ; write a Suess-Style Rhyming erotic novel

`` Sam I am 
 I promise, Mam. 
 No, I will not eat you out. 
 I can smell your eggs, are they masked in sauerkraut? 
 No, I will not eat you out. 
 Holy shit, your nipples are so green they look puffy and rot. 
 
 Sam I am, 
 I promise, Mam. 
 I will not fuck you here in this parking lot. 
 I will not fuck you to hit your G-Spot. 
 I will not fuck you from behind. 
 Now, listen here, WILL YOU MIND. 
 
 Sam I am, 
 I promise, Mam. 
 I would rather eat a sandwich made of rat and jelly, 
 Then look at you and your big fat belly. 
 I can only offer you my condolences and the pleasure 
 of offering you the only thing that would touch you, this here feather. 
 
 I will not drill your brain. 
 I will not cuddle while staring at the rain. 
 I will not shit on your chest 
... but perhaps pleasure may come while you rest. 
 
 While you nap 
 I may take a crap 
 And while it pours 
 I may fuck to the rhythm of your snores. 
 
 Those pillows you sleep on with the goose feathers 
 Makes putting up with you oh so much better in leather. 
 And while I watch your stomach rise 
 I will dig as deep as I can to find the real surprise. 
 
 And yes, how about if I do fuck you from behind. 
 Trust me, at this point you will not mind. 
 For I will have found the G-spot 
 And kept it while I left you in the car's trunk in the parking lot. 
 
 For I am Sam, 
 that I promise you Mam. 
 Now shut up and fall asleep, 
 So I may plunder and not hear you weep.
