[ WP ] A woman who is immortal and forever young has been traveling the world ever since she could remember .

He laughed confidently. Too confidently. He tossed his head back, letting his eyes rove the ceiling briefly before they scanned the bar to either side, looking for admiring glances. 
 
 `` So tell me, Christie, what's it like tossing guys around like that?'' he said. `` Stuff like that usually work?'' 
 
 I took a swig of beer. He'd bought. `` You asked. I answered.'' 
 
 `` Okay, we'll play the game, then. Immortality. What's it like? Did aliens really build the pyramids?'' 
 
 His unctuous smile irritated me. I wanted to punch it off his face. But the other seventeen patrons probably would n't appreciate that. Neither would the bartenders. `` I was n't around for that, so I ca n't tell you.'' 
 
 `` Woah, woah, woah. What happened to immortality?'' 
 
 `` Immortality is n't the same thing as eternality, bud.'' 
 
 He held his bottle and free hand in the air. `` My mistake. So, when were you, uh, *born*?'' 
 
 `` 1880.'' 
 
 `` So that makes you... 134?'' 
 
 I clucked, my face alight with sarcastic approval. `` You *are* quite the brainiac, are n't you? But the birthday's in November, so 133.'' 
 
 Jake, as he'd introduced himself, flagged down a passing bartender. `` Another two rounds, please. Same tab.'' Then he *winked* at her. I raised my eyebrows as her blue eyes met mine. 
 
 `` As long as it's got a big ass, bouncy boobs, and a sweet smile, it's game, huh?'' 
 
 Jake smiled at me. `` Only you can deliver all that, babe. You seen *Stone to Stone*?'' 
 
 I shook my head and accepted the proffered bottle. `` Ca n't say I have.'' 
 
 `` It's fantastic, really. Great documentary about Giza. Did you know they now think the spiral ramp theory is probably *not* correct?'' 
 
 `` You know, I truly did n't know that.'' I looked across the bar, watching the lone man bathe in grey tendrils swirling from the tip of his cigar. I ignored Jake's eyes as they settled on my chest. 
 
 `` For an immortal, I expected a little better than that,'' he said. He paused before continuing. `` So, what do you say, you up for learning something?'' 
 
 `` That *is* the way to get me to spread my legs. Talk to me sardonically, insinuate stupidity, then turn yourself into a savior offering salvation from ignorance.'' 
 
 He looked bewildered. `` What?'' 
 
 I handed him my empty beer bottle. `` Here you go, big shot. Take this home with you. Maybe you can fuck yourself with it. Might as well, since you wo n't be getting any help from me.'' I hopped off my stool and walked toward the door, but not before I winked at the smiling bartender. I'd known she would hear. I also knew Jake would be following me. 
 
 He finally said something when we were alone in the alleyway. `` Hey, bitch!'' 
 
 I turned around, knowing my surprise seemed genuine. `` What do you want?'' My former confidence appeared to have evaporated. 
 
 `` You think you can play me like that? Feed me that immortality bullshit, then belittle me in front of everyone?'' 
 
 `` Oh, it was n't bullshit. November 11th, 1880. And you belittled yourself.'' When you have more than a century's worth of experience, it's quite easy to recognize a fight before it occurs. I knew what was coming. 
 
 His wild punches seemed slow, weak. The three men in 1980s Kabul had almost overcome me. But there were three of them. And they'd had knives. I ducked one blow, parried another, and evaded the third by yanking on the hem of his leather jacket. 
 
 `` You can still turn around, Jake,'' I said seriously. `` I'm not going to fuck you, and I do n't have to fuck you up either. You really do n't understand what you're dealing with right here.'' *A Guardian*. 
 
 Jake swayed drunkenly, reaching into his pocket. *Oh, hell no*. I leaped, twisting my hips and whipping my leg up. The spinning hook kick caught him in the jaw, and he crumpled. `` Leggings do have their benefits.'' 
 
 I vaulted onto him, straddling his chest and pinning his arms to the pavement with my knees. I winked. `` I guess I was wrong. I will spread my legs for you.'' 
 
 He groaned, blood leaking from the corner of his mouth. `` Let... me go.'' 
 
 I leaned forward, dragging myself over his battered face. `` I think I'll fly to Argentina tomorrow. It's the only country I have n't visited yet. But, unfortunately, I have to leave now. That innocent old man, the one smoking at the bar? He hunts people like me. And unlike you, he's someone I actually have to worry about.''
