[ WP ] A cult tries to summon a demon/God but manages to summon you instead .

`` Yeah man! We're gon na DO IT this time Jeff! Reach right out into the nether and grab a f'n demon and he's gon na do WHATEVER we want! Rob banks! Conjure stuff up like beer or weed or mind control hot chicks, dude, whatever we want! Did you bring all the stuff?'' 
 
 `` Yes D, I got a whole box of stuff. I brought the candles, chalk, book of ancient symbols, chicken bones, mirrors, small cauldron, even the old record player so we can play records backwards and stuff... all set dude. Everybody else already here?'' D was Darryl and it was his house. 
 
 `` Like, yeah man, Mike, Melvin and David are already here and they're clearing out a spot on the basement floor'' Darryl replies. 
 
 They go down the stairs and the room's pretty clear in the middle and the other three guys are sitting around in a semi-circle. Jeff puts the box down to the side, pulls out the chalk and starts drawing a pentagram about eight feet around and Darryl starts putting all the candles in place. Mike gets another piece of chalk and starts scrawling some weird characters all around from the book. David goes over to the wall and plugs in the record player and starts it playing backwards from the inner spiral out. 
 
 Melvin puts a robe on and starts laying out the chicken bones in the cauldron under a few tea candles. 
 
 This goes on for about fifteen minutes and they all take their places around the circle. Darryl starts the ceremony. `` Dudes, I like read up on all the stuff earlier this afternoon and I'm freakin' stoked and ready. You guys ready to do the summoning of a bad mofo demon?'' `` Yeah'' `` Yup'' `` This $ #! + is go'in down!'' are the replies with enthusiastic nods. 
 
 `` All right, here we go! Step one: stare into the flames and think of your deepest darkest desires. Will these runes to be the gateway to contact the other side....pour your whole being into it!'' This intense staring goes on for a few minutes. `` Ok, now,'' continues Darryl, `` close your eyes and reach out into the darkness with your mind... we're calling out into the nether so that the Über Being will come to us. We are calling you Über Being.....do you hear us?...'' 
 
 They all have their eyes shut tight and are pushing their thoughts out in intense concentration. Then they hear `` Yeah this is Damien... what do ya need....'' 
 
 Their eyes and mouths all fling wide in the holy crap we did it type of expression as they look at each other.....'' Guys.....you there, if not, I got other stuff I can do...'' 
 
 Darryl chimes in `` Oh no.... no... we need you Damien, we need you to come to us from where you are and make all our dreams come true.'' Damien replies `` Um, what did you guys have in mind? How many of you are there? `` 
 
 `` Ca n't you see us?'' Replied David. Damien shoots back `` No, that's not how this works, I can NOT see you from where I am. How many of you are there?'' `` Five...'' Mike says, `` just five of us''. `` I can handle that many, no prob. So, dreams come true....like Vegas or something?'' `` Yeah!'' we all scream... `` Well that's a bit far out of what I can do, how about a titty bar or something?'' Melvin pumps his fist...'' Yeah, now that's what we're talkin' about!'' 
 
 Damien replies back. `` Ok, guys....where are you at?'' `` Um... in the basement...'' Jeff replies. `` Look guys, the way this thing works is you give me your address and I come to you....what is your address?'' David goes `` I did n't think this is how it worked...'' Damien shoots back `` Well, guys it does....it is exactly how it works. So if you were to go outside and look at the house, what number would it be? And if you went down to the corner... what street would the sign say you might be on?'' 
 
 `` F-fffuh fourteen oh eight Crescent St.'' says Darryl. `` Ok...'' Damien says... I'm about three minutes out... I'm on my way. Get ready...'' Mike chimes in `` This is flippin awesome guys! All our dreams are gon na come true! F'n A!'' 
 
 A few minutes pass as they're all high-fiving each other and saying how it's almost here and more. They hear a beating on the door upstairs and startle. They go up there and creep toward the door and the beating gets heavy fist pounding louder. Hesitantly, Darryl opens the door and there is a guy in a light jacket, jeans and a stocking cap. `` Hey, its me, Damien, you guys called?'' 
 
 Melvin asks: `` Um, you look like just a regular guy.....'' Well, you did n't call a modeling agency, you guys ready to go?'' Mike shakes his head `` this is n't right... should n't you be wearing some sort of fancy suit or something?'' Damien looks down and sighs...'' Look guys, I know this is n't the most glamorous thing in the world, but you're not paying for stretch hummer limos and all that. You called me and what I got is a Yukon. It's only two years old and will work just find to get you there. You guys are the ones who called Uber and here I am. If you are gon na get in the car, I suggest you come on out so we can head out, the meter is running.'' The guys just stood there in shock until Jeff starts patting his chest pocket. `` Aw, dammit I must have voice dialed him on the cell during the ceremony! 
 
 They all stare at each other and start laughing. `` You guys coming or what?'' asks 
 Damien. `` Yeah, we're coming'' says Jeff. They leave and have the night of their lives. 
 
 As the door shuts, back down in the basement at the center of the ritual, Brixelbob starts to dissolve back into smoke. `` So much easier when I can just send em' out and I do n't have to go too....'' 
 
 Edit: type-o fixes
