[ WP ] Every single imaginable apocalypse happens simultaneously .

What a stupid fucking joke. 
 
 The zombies were manageable, even the plague ones. They just slowly stumble around. The movies always showed them in giant swarms, but the infection happened after the earthquakes, and by then the cities were either dead or abandoned. They do n't even last all that long in the locust clouds, they just get stripped to bits. And the locust clouds are eaten by the god-damn Hitchcock birds, and the birds get smashed by the occasional tornadoes. A dumb little eco-system. It was manageable. Orderly. It made sense. Zombies make sense right? I dunno, I always ditched Bio in highschool. 
 
 When the aliens showed up, that's when I, I... I mean, like, why invade a diseased planet, where all the resources have mysteriously disappeared, a planet with lakes of fire, a planet that the news tells me, uh,'told' I guess, that a major asteroid strike is going to happen any day now. Why invade a radioactive shithole with less than a week to live? 
 
 When giant pancakes started falling out of the sky... well, I get it. The joke. How fucking undignified.
