[ WP ] The Apocalypse has come , several of them actually . They do n't get along .

The end is nigh. 
 
 Aqualo watches humanity in their final moments. She raises her arms to summon hundred foot waves -- 
 
 “ Hey. Hey! What are you doing? ” 
 
 Aqualo stops and turns to the voice. It ’ s Ignisis, the demon of fire, and he ’ s not happy. 
 
 “ Apocalypse. ” responds a confused Aqualo. 
 
 “ Un-uh. No no no no no ” Ignisis pulls out his calendar and points at today ’ s date. “ December 21, 2012. Apocalypse by torrential firestorm. ” 
 
 “ What? ” Aqualo pulls out her PDA “ No, my calendar says ‘ Drown humanity. Hundred food waves. ” 
 
 “ Fantastic. There must have been some kind of clerical error. ” 
 
 “ Yeah. I guess so. ” Agrees Aqualo. “ Do you mind if I take this one? Thanks ” 
 
 “ Yes I mind. Why do you get it? ” 
 
 “ I was here first. ” 
 
 “ This isn ’ t a question of sequence, it ’ s a matter of principle. Tsunamis occur all the time on earth. Fire raining from the sky? Now, that ’ s an apocalypse. ” 
 
 “ Please, Iggy. I ’ m short on my quota for this year. One more missed apocalypse and I ’ ll hear about it for all eternity. ” 
 
 “ Well, that ’ s your fault for taking that three week vacation. Now move over. ” 
 
 “ How ‘ bout we share this one? ” pleads Aqualo. 
 
 “ How am I gon na light them on fire if they ’ re covered in water? ” 
 
 “ Well... some people are bound to survive the first round of flooding, so instead of me sending a second wave, can you burn them. ” 
 
 “ Apocalypse is the destruction of the world. Meaning everyone. I ’ m not gon na tarnish my reputation with a halfpoclypse. ” 
 
 “ Did someone say Apocalypse? ” shouts a cocky voice. 
 
 Aqualo and Ignisis roll their eyes at the sight of Techal, the youngest of the world-ending Gods. He comes swaggering in wearing sunglasses for some reason. 
 
 “ Please tell me you ’ re not booked for today -- “ 
 
 “ I ’ m here to bring the Apocalypse! ” exclaims Techal. “ Where dem people at? ” 
 
 “ There ’ s been some kinda scheduling conflict. ” Explains Aqualo. “ We ’ re not sure who ’ s supposed to be initiating the apocalypse. ” 
 
 “ Well that would be me! ” says Techal with a raised eyebrow. “ World ending ain ’ t what it used to be. Humanity ’ s had enough of fire and floods. Get with the times. You need more flare! A bit of pizazz!'' Techal says with jazz hands. “ I ’ m thinking internet meltdown, tech malfunctions, and a total blackout. Then amidst their technological turmoil, they fire their own nuclear missiles at themselves. BOOM! ” 
 
 “ Hmm, if memory serves, this plan didn ’ t go too well for you last time. Y. Two. K. ” mocks Aqualo. She and Ignisis have a good laugh. 
 
 “ Hey! That was thirteen years ago! I ’ ve matured a lot since then! ” Techal retorts. 
 
 “ Did someone say mature? ” Yells a toothless voice. 
 
 “ Oh for fucks sake. ” Complains Ignisis. “ Apocal, what are you doing here? I thought you were retiring. ” 
 
 “ Yeah and I ’ m going out with one last apocalypse. Ending with a bang, or should I say, a swarm. ” 
 
 “ You ’ ve got to be kidding me -- “ 
 
 “ A swarm of Locusts to wipe out the world! ” Apocal shouts. 
 
 “ Locusts are grasshoppers! ” yells Ignisis. “ Grasshoppers! How the hell are you gon na wipe out humanity with grasshoppers? ” 
 
 “ Hey, hey. Calm down, he ’ s old. He doesn ’ t know any better. ” Says Aqualo to relax Ignisis. 
 
 “ They have bug spray! They ’ ll kill the locusts in seconds! ” Screams Ignisis before walking away. 
 
 Aqualo tries to initiate a compromise. “ Okay, how ‘ bout this? Why don ’ t we split up the globe and enact each of our apocalypse scenarios in our designated region. I know it ’ s not a full apocalypse, but bickering is getting us nowhere. Let ’ s just settle for a clean quartpocalypse, okay? ” 
 
 Everyone begrudgingly acknowledges Aqualo ’ s logic. 
 
 Aqualo continues “ So I ’ ll take Asia, Techal you can have -- “ 
 
 “ Woah woah woah, why do you get Asia? ” Ignisis interjects. 
 
 “ Iggy, can you not be a selfish cunt for one second? ” Aqualo shoots back. 
 
 “ You ’ re the one that picked the most densely populated continent! ” Ignisis retorts. 
 
 “ Yeah, I should be getting Asia. ” Professes Techal. “ It ’ s the high-tech region of the world. ” 
 
 “ I should get Asia! ” exclaims Apocal. 
 
 “ Why? ” Ignisis asks through his gritted teeth. 
 
 “... They have the most Locusts. ” 
 
 The four Gods erupt into an incoherent verbal brawl -- 
 
 BLEEP. 
 
 The four Gods stop. “ What was that? ” Asks Ignisis. 
 
 Techal looks at his beeping watch. “ It ’ s midnight. It ’ s the 22nd “ 
 
 “ We missed it? ” exclaims Ignisis. “ Goddammit! ” 
 
 The clouds erupt with heavenly thunder. 
 
 Ignisis shouts to the sky. “ Sorry. Sorry. Didn ’ t mean that. ” 

