[ WP ] You awaken to find a mini-cooper full of canned beef stew , a kitten and a coffee cup with a note attached : `` It 's dangerous to go alone , take this ! ''

The night before had started like any other. Half-naked, sitting in my boxers watching Futurama and munching on Doritos. I decided this night would be a good one to start drinking a bit, so I pulled the vodka from the freezer and mixed it with some sprite and apple juice. About 3 drinks in, I received a call from my friend Jon. `` Dude, I need a place to crash. I have three chicks with me.'' `` Well this night just got better!'' I thought to myself. 
 
 Everything that happened after that is a blur. 
 
 I awoke in the morning to find my place a mess. My bed had no sheets, my kitchen was missing all of the dishes, and worst of all, I'd run out of toilet paper. I jumped into the shower only to find the water would n't come out at more than a trickle. But that was n't the strangest thing I would find yet. 
 
 I walked out back after drying off from my miserable shower experience and stopped in my tracks. Clouds of smoke were rising everywhere. I heard faint sirens and gunfire in the distance. Buildings all around my home were either burnt out or completely collapsed. In fact, mine was the only one on the block still standing. I sat on the porch, trying to recollect what the hell happened the night before, but all I remembered was Fry's dog and being unable to control my tears. I got up and put on my shoes, grabbed my bag, and made for the front door. Unbelievable. 
 
 Sitting in my driveway was a brand new bright red mini cooper. The back seat was full of cans and the front seat had something too. I walked up to it and peaked in. The keys were there, as was a small note, medium sized box, and a mickey mouse coffee mug. I opened the box. A cat. `` Interesting...'' Finally I opened the note. `` It's dangerous to go alone, take this!'' 
 
 `` What sort of demented video game bullshit is this?!'' I yelled to nobody in particular. It was even written like the 8-bit font from the Zelda game I'd remembered playing as a kid. `` Fuck it. Whatever'' I said, looking at the cat. And off I drove, cat purring lovingly on my lap, trying to find out what the fuck had gone on while I slept. All I knew was that somebody was looking out for me, albeit in a weird fucking way.
