[ WP ] 4chan and Tumblr are dating .

Neither of us wanted to be here, that was clear from the moment she slumped down in the seat across from me and set to adjusting her ridiculous hair. Fucking Reddit and his cupid-playing, I should ’ ve seen this coming. Still, she ’ s cute, in a scary sort of way. I lean forward, resting my elbows on the table, and set to stroking the thick hair adorning my neck. Is this how normal people act? Fuck, should I have showered? No time for that now, I clear my throat and speak up, “ So, uh, Tumbler, right? ” my voice cracks nervously. Great. 
 
 “ Tumblr, ” she corrects, without looking up from her iPhone. “ No ‘ e. ’ ” 
 
 “ Sure… I ’ m 4chan, did reddit put you up to this too? ” I don ’ t know why I ’ m trying to make conversation, but I don ’ t want to be the first to leave. If I do, she wins. 
 
 “ Yes, oh my god, ” she replies, suddenly visibly flustered. “ I literally can ’ t even, like, he KNOWS how much I hate the concept of “ dating, ” ugh! ” Her eyes move down again, as she mumbles something about the patriarchy. 
 
 Shit, I ’ m losing her, I ’ ve got to be alpha, act like a normie. Fuck. “ Uh, so, do you have any rare Pepes? ” I know pepe is pleb level shit, but I ’ ve got to start somewhere. 
 
 “ The fuck? ” she looks up at me, confusion and perhaps pity in her eyes. “ The hell ’ s a pe-pey? ” 
 
 “ It ’ s a… it ’ s a meme, ” I respond. Tfw on a date with a normie. I chuckle, thinking what a dank greentext story this will make. “ Nevermind, can I buy you a drink? ” the words have barely left my cheeto-dust encrusted lips before her mouth drops open like I ’ ve just slapped her. Oh no, I think I ’ ve triggered her. 
 
 “ OH YOU ’ D JUST FUCKING LOVE THAT WOULDN ’ T YOU? YOU FUCKING PRIVILEGED SHI- “ as the expected rant begins, I slide out of my chair, whip my trenchcoat around me and tip my hat. Shit, I must look so epic. I begin to walk away, but no, this needs something else. Something…more. 
 
 
 “ M ’ lady. ” 
 

