[ WP ] He sees you when you 're sleeping . He knows when you 're awake . And Santa , low on funds to pay his elves , has begun selling his surveillance data to the NSA .

`` But he's a good boy!'' 
 
 `` Nick, listen: we're talking about national security here. Sometimes good boys can get up to no good. We just want to verify-'' 
 
 `` Do n't you'Nick, listen' me you jolly jingler! I've been keeping a list longer than your'nation' has existed!'' 
 
 Tom shifted in his seat. He was n't used to dealing with mythical creatures, especially ones he could n't slay with a flash of his Federal Agency badge. The NSA knew everything, but all they knew about Santa was that he existed, somewhere, somehow. And now, apparently, he needed money. 
 
 `` Mr. Kringle, I understand you work with children because you want to. It's your chosen profession.'' 
 
 `` More like'frozen' profession!'' He Ho Ho Ho'd sadly and cast his eyes down at the table. 
 
 ``... yes, well. Do n't you like your job? I imagine a man of your... talents, could easily retire from this line of work.'' 
 
 `` Decking halls, do n't I know it! It's pretty tough in the summer, when the sun is out and we're in the workshop coordinating our holiday plans. I wish I could spend some more time with the Missus. And dodging your'missile defense systems' gets tougher every year - when you're moving as fast as I am it's hard to convince a computer you're not dangerous!'' 
 
 *Verify tracking data with NORAD* Tom scribbled on his notepad. 
 
 `` But it's the kids who make it worth it. Seeing their smiles on Christmas Day, reading their thank you notes - candycanes, there's nothing in the world that compares to the delight of a little child. Especially the poor ones, the ones that do n't have much of anything - but I can give'em Christmas Day. If not me, then who? That's what keeps me at work.'' 
 
 `` And that's good enough for you - but not everyone?'' 
 
 `` The elves are different,'' Santa says with a mixture of confusion and resignation. `` They work for pay, and the exchange rates being what they are, they are n't being paid enough. I could n't do it without them, mind - back in the olden days, a few million children, I could wrap those gifts myself! But not since there's so many of you, now. The elves, they do n't see things the same way - very cold, very logical. Great little managers, they are. But no heart. They want their money.'' 
 
 `` So you came to us - but why? There have to be easier ways for you to raise the capital. Guided tours, perhaps? A TV show? Surely Netflix would cut you a deal.'' 
 
 `` No, no, no! That would destroy the magic. Kids need to have only a vaugue idea of who I am and how I do what I do - so they can let go of me when the time comes. Because I ca n't help them forever; they need to become the gift-givers when they're big enough.'' 
 
 `` I can see that. And we're *very* interested in what you have to offer. But, as I'm sure you're aware, there's a certain institutional inertia to be overcome - even in an organization as'young' as ours. My superiors want a test case to demonstrate value. That's why I'm asking you about Danny.'' 
 
 Santa just stared. 
 
 `` Look, we're prepared to wire the agreed-upon amount directly to your account in Switzerland. All I need is one file on one child. After I take the results up the chain we can talk about a contract, a way to keep your...'shop' in business. I can guarantee the safety of the child, all we want is information.'' 
 
 There was a pause. 
 
 `` Do you promise?'' 
 
 `` Yes, I promise. Little Danny will be just fine.'' 
 
 `` Alright. I trust you.'' Santa produced an overstuffed manila folder from the folds of his coat, and slid it across the table. 
 
 `` You always were a good boy, Tom.'' 
 
 Tom smiled, thinking of Christmases past, and offered his hand. `` You wo n't regret this, Mr. Kringle. I look forward to our next meeting.'' 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- 
 
 Danny went to put out the cookies and milk, like he always did. There was n't anything under the tree yet; his parents were n't even asleep. Mom and Dad were arguing earlier, but things had been quiet for a while now. They'd been arguing a lot more lately. They were talking about a lot of things Danny did n't understand, but he knew Dad was very mad at someone about something. Danny thought it might have been him, but he knew it was n't after he got home from school early and saw Dad working on Mom's Christmas present. When Dad turned around he was very surprised - scared even - but he did n't get mad at all. He just made Danny promise not to tell anyone about it, especially Mom. It was a very special gift, he said. It looked really complicated, with a lot of wires, and Danny could tell Dad was frustrated trying to get it to work. Danny offered to help but Dad said no. So Danny helped the only way he knew - he changed his Christmas wish. He told Santa all about Mom's gift and asked him to help Dad so it could be ready in time and they could have a happy Christmas Day together. He did n't really want the bike as much anymore - though it would still be nice if he got it. He just wanted his Mom and Dad to be happy and not worry so much. He knew grown-ups did n't get visits from Santa but maybe just this once there could be an exception. He was sure Dad had been good. 
 
 The roof creaked. Then again. 
 
 *Is someone on the roof? * Danny thought. 
 
 There was a noise of something falling down the chimney. 
 
 `` Santa...? Is that you...?'' 
 
 Danny's wide-eyed wonder turned to confusion as he watched the flash grenade roll out of the fireplace.
