[ WP ] The world 's oldest , most powerful wizard has had enough of his life . After two thousand years of adventure and magic he desires normalcy . Today is his first day at work as a janitor for an office building . He 's determined to fit in and not use his powers . How does it go ?

It all began when he shaved his beard. Standing in front of the burnished copper mirror that hung above the sink made from a carved-out geode, Kalamazoo: the greatest, oldest, most powerful wizard of all time, went from himself to... Well, just *Kal. * It had taken just a few snips at the bottom, white hair falling into the purple rock, before he had decided to go full Furiosa and shave the whole thing off. Looking at himself was odd after that: the soft, pink chin he had n't seen in centuries brought out the lines around his eyes, the wrinkles that spread from his nose to his lips and feathered out like crow's wings across his leathery cheeks. 
 
 
 `` You've seen too much, Kal,'' he said to himself in the mirror. `` You've grown into an old, old man.'' 
 
 
 He started work the next day. They gave him a trolley stocked with cleaning equipment, a couple of yellow marigold gloves and a blue j-cloth folded in and over itself. He had a debriefing from someone called Jackie and was told to make sure he cleaned underneath computer keyboards ( `` because god only knows what disgusting stuff lurks beneath *those, *'' said Jackie ) Kalamazoo, who had once lifted Ayers Rock to fight the Sand Troll beneath it, rolled his eyes. Kal nodded and made sure his trolley carried Febreeze. 
 
 
 His shifts would start at the Twilight hour: nigh on the time that Kalamazoo used to start setting his crystals up for a long night of drawing the souls of the dead back into them. Kal walked between abandoned computer desks, j-cloth and squirty bottle in hand, spraying at everything that did n't look quite *right. * 
 
 
 
 Cleaning made the time pass quickly. Kal never missed the spell casting, the enchanting, the near-death feeling where your blood was up and every vessel in your body seemed to be moving liquid starlight through your veins... No, he did n't miss that. However, the first time he saw a ladies' bathroom, he very nearly reneged on his personal deal to not use magic again. He'd not seen that much blood and shit since he last fought the Greathag of Eastmire. 
 
 
 
 But his mind changed when, at the hour of the Owl, he opened a conference room with the prow of his trolley, to find a woman crying in the black leather seats that he could n't use spray-bleach on. She was diminutive, made smaller by her hunched shoulders and the veritable throne that rose around her. On the table in front of her were two scrunched up tissues and a small USB stick. As the door opened, she looked up and shrieked in terror. 
 
 
 `` Sorry!'' Kal said, backing out again. `` I did n't realise this room was n't empty.'' 
 
 
 `` No, it's my fault.'' The woman stood up and wiped her nose. She scooped the USB from the table. `` Sorry about that.'' 
 
 
 `` Is there anything I can do to help?'' Said Kal, who had come to appreciate, during his long and eventful life that crying women regarded it as chivalrous when you asked to help. Sometimes it was rewarded with a favour, sometimes more. 
 
 
 `` You do n't know anything about USBs, do you? I think I've wiped the whole thing, and I've got a massive presentation tomorrow in front of everyone and I worked so hard on it...'' The woman burst into a fresh wave of tears and so Kal decided to approach, on alert in case she transformed into a harpy, or a siren. 
 
 
 `` Let me have a look at it,'' he offered. 
 
 
 The woman held out the stick and Kal took it, turning it over in his hands. 
 
 
 `` Here,'' he said, passing it back. `` Try it now.'' 
 
 
 The woman plugged it into her laptop, blinking in bewilderment through her tears as the lost files filled her screen. 
 
 
 `` How did you do that?'' She gasped, jumping to her feet and throwing her arms around Kal, who patted her on the back with a marigold-ed hand. 
 
 
 `` Well,'' he cleared his throat. `` Let's just say I'm a bit of a wizard. A computer wizard.''
