[ WP ] `` Listen , I am on a twelve step program to being a good and nice person . Not killing people is step 9 . I 'm only on step 4 . I have My limits on limiting Myself . ''

This became increasingly more apparent to the disgruntled worker that you now have cornered in the back of your local office supply store. His fear outweighing his now growing disgust with humanity for the vile creatures that it consists of. 
 
 *Hmm that ’ s a first*, you think to yourself before your train of thought gets cut off by a bewailing shopkeep 
 
 “ Get that fucking thing away from me man ”, this is the only thing heard through the myriad of tears and silent curses coming from a man who clearly has given up on life. 
 
 This statement confuses you at first, as you clearly do not have an erection right now and the time for dick jousting has certainly passed by now 
 
 “ What thing are you even talking about ”, you wonder as you unintelligibly swing a weapon fashioned out of various office supplies: notably pairs of scissors tied together by an internet cable wire in what is perhaps the most misguided attempt at a pair of nunchaku since your last family Christmas gathering. 
 
 “ Your fucki -- ”, he gets cut off by an errant paper-clip ninja star to the eye 
 
 “ Enough talk about my trouser snake ”, you retort as you causally pull a pair of scissors from out your back, “ I ’ m just over here trying to be a *nice guy*, trying to be a *teamplayer* ” 
 
 “ Then what about that guy ”, he points to his recently deceased coworker who seemingly was killed by a perplexing combination of post-it notes and legal pads. 
 
 “ I said *trying* ”, you take another huff from your collection of compressed air canisters and whiteout 
 
 *Man that hit the spot* 
 
 
 Suddenly a mistakenly intrepid security guard comes round the corner... 

