[ WP ] A robber breaks into your house at the worst moment possible : while you have diarrhea .

It is not often that Michael leaves the house for a night out with the lads. A devoted father of 5, he spends the majority of his weekends with his kids, however, tonight was different. 
 
 Brent was getting hitched. It was a miracle. She had worn him down. He used to say he'd never marry. Now, the big day was fast approaching and the boys were out to celebrate the final bachelor getting married. 
 
 After a long afternoon which flowed into the evening, the inevitable late night kebab was on the menu. 
 
 `` Double meat, double cheese and heaps of chilli'' slurred Michael. 
 
 Little did he know this kebab would have it's revenge. 
 
 An Uber ride later, Michael attempts to sneak in without waking his 5-year-old son. 
 
 The creaking of the stairs startles the baby and Michael finds himself dashing the rest of the way before the cries wake the rest of the house. 
 
 Slow dancing with his son is not the way that he envisioned his night ended but slowly, his son drifts back to sleep. 
 
 That is when the movement began. 
 
 Gliding across the tiles like a figure skater on the ice, Michael reached the bathroom just in time. The last resistance put up by his belt was no match for Michael desire not to soil his trousers. 
 
 Finally sitting still, the copious amounts of booze finally catches up with him. He drifts away, riding his throne into the night when he is awoken by the sound of the front door. 
 
 Had he locked it behind him? Had his wife finally woke up to herself and was leaving him? He knew it was too good to be true. 
 
 `` Babe is that you?'' 
 
 No response. He was certain it was the front door. 
 
 `` Hello?'' 
 
 No response. 
 
 `` Who's there?'' he asked louder while being cautious not to wake the kids. 
 
 Suddenly, a head appears in the doorway. He does n't recognise the figure as his eyes are barely open. Then, the figure was gone. 
 
 Footsteps running down the stairs and crashing sound of the key bowl on the tiles followed by the slamming of the front door. 
 
 What just happened? 
 
 `` Michael is that you?'' His wife is awake. 
 
 `` What was that noise?'' she exclaimed. 
 
 Michael is still in a drunken daze and that is when he heard it. The rev of his car engine. 
 
 `` I think someone just stole our car while I'm stuck here with diarrhoea!''
