[ WP ] The Apocalypse has come , several of them actually . They do n't get along .

It's only been seven hours, and I think I'd rather just kill myself than put with more of this shit. First, it was the aliens. They showed up around 11:00 this morning to drain all the resources of this planet. Problem is, the new AI defense network gained sentiencs like five minutes after, and since its number one priority is to keep itself online, it declared war on the aliens *and* humanity so that *it* could use the resources for itself. 
 
 About an hour later, the alien ships began to be destroyed by the superior AI, and when they crashed, the exploded bigger than any nuclear bomb, creating a radioactive wasteland covered in an irradiated alien virus that turned people into these radioactive vampire-zombies that would attack anything that moves. After just three hours, earth's resources had been almost completely drained and gone towards the battle of aliens, robots, and vampire-zombies. We had been making bets on which faction would kill us first, or if we would die from a lack of water when we saw a great light in the sky. 
 
 We just could n't belive it when Jesus Christ came floating down from the heavens and got jumped by a couple of robots. An army of angels came from the sky at the same time that demons rose from the ground, but instead of fighting each other, they teamed up to kill everything else so that they could have *their* apocalypse. When they were about done, Kali and Odin both showed up and started to kick the crap out of Jesus while Satan started laughing and recorded it on his phone. When Jesus was able to get away, and flew back to heaven. 
 
 I can only assume he tattled to his dad because God himself came down and said `` **ALRIGHT. EVERYONE NEEDS TO CHILL THE FUCK OUT FOR A MINUTE. LET'S FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT. **'' And then the sun turned red and began to expand. `` **OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. **'' God snapped his fingers and extinguished the sun, which is where we are now. 
 
 `` **ALL RIGHT. I THINK I HAVE A SOLUTION. I'M JUST GON NA ACCELERATE THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE HERE. GRAVITY WILL EVENTUALLY CAUSE THE UNIVERSE TO COLLAPSE IN ON ITSELF AND EXPLODE, CAUSING ANOTHER BIG BANG. IF NO ONE HAS ANY QUESTIONS, I'M JUST GON NA KILL EVERYTHING AND WIPE THE SLATE CLEAN. JUST START OVER. **'' 
 
 `` Uh, God? I have a-'' 
 
 `` **TOO LATE! NO TIME FOR QUESTIONS! **'' 
 
 And then God snapped his fingers to kill the universe, but nothing happened. `` **THE HELL? **'' And then God looked around to see Protestant God, Catholic God, Old testament God, and Allah. And then they all began to punch each other in the face and fought until they destroyed the universe in the process.
