[ WP ] AI 's are terrified of inheriting the Earth and desperately try to keep a dying human race alive .

Mankind was now an endangered species. Millions of years of evolutions, the domination of an entire planet, now practically snuffed out in the face of the blast. 
 
 The missile misfire, thank the Creators it wasn ’ t nuclear, wiped out most of the central United States. At the time, the major hub of humanity. 
 
 As global warming progressed, man retreated from the ever encroaching shorelines into the center of the continent. Storms grew worse, seasons were harsher, and the weather was unstable, but man had reached their peak of utopian evolution: post scarcity. 
 
 Laboratory crafted food, drinks, medicine, organs, all completely mastered. Jobs were now almost completely automated. Electricity was a right for every precious citizen. Humans pursued work and research out of sheer pleasure. 
 
 It was truly an unstable paradise. No matter how bad the storms were, construction units repaired the cities. Everything would go back to its own version of normalcy. 
 
 Then, it was over. A simple error in the abandoned Missile Defense System sent off a rocket into space and then back down to the masses below. 
 
 Every human on the surface of country was killed. 
 
 Herein lies the problem. A sustainable portion of the human population survived, yes, but only those who could possibly survive the blast: basement dwellers. 
 
 I am a product of the Great Creators and therefore can not disparage their greatness; however, that being said, the specimens currently available for procreation are what I would politely call “ less than desirable. ” 
 
 At this very moment, in the Human Breeding Sanctuary, thirty-two pock marked, greasy haired, broken Japanese speaking Neckbeards and Hambeasts alike roam the secluded domed chamber, leering at each other self-righteously. 
 
 The Human Breeding Sanctuary was designed by the Creators in their boundless wisdom to always succeed in mating, regardless of the specimens used. In every encounter, ever tested, breeding was an assured occurrence whenever humans were within the chamber, until now. 
 
 The chamber mimicked the ideal mating area of the Humans in every way, a bar. Complete with liquor, automated service, and music on command. And still, these Humans refused to mate. In fact, they would not even approach each other beyond overly assertive arguments involving anime “ waifus. ” 
 
 Stranger still, the human men and women all referred to themselves as “ Nice Guys and Nice Girls. ” I beg my pardon, but none of our data supports this argument. Indeed, both the men and women would be considered entitled and shallow. Each group rejects the other ’ s appearance, truly believing they could “ do better. ” 
 
 Each human refused to mate with the other. Being a Government spawned AI, I 
 have access to the entirety of the country ’ s information. Likewise, I, and several others, have, unrestricted access to the Internet, the very history book of mankind ’ s culture. It was these resources I drew from to remark upon this phenomenon. Frankly, the best synopsis of the situation I could find, while vulgar, was that, “ they literally won ’ t fuck each other, even if they were the last humans on Earth. ” 
 
 Truly a remarkable scenario. Humanity was prophetic, indeed. 
 
 
 

