[ WP ] You 're a normal person in a world full of superheroes , and unfortunately , you live right next to a super villain .

Dusting around my net curtains, I catch site of my neighbor. I tap firmly on the window and he glances over but hurries on- must not have seen me properly through that silly mask he insists on wearing, bless him. 
 
 I open the window a crack. “ PAUL! ” Still nothing; I wish he wouldn ’ t wear the hood of that cape so high, I doubt he can hear a thing, poor love. 
 
 Still holding my feather duster I head to the door, crack it a slice, and yell “ PAULLLLLLLLLLLL, COOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ”. 
 
 He breaks into a half walk half run, the worst of both worlds, glancing around as he makes his fast-walking-pace-but-gained-a-bit-of-height way over to where I ’ m standing. Funny boy… 
 
 “ Paul, I think there are some of your friends across the street, they are dressed in lovely bright colours just like you…Paul? Whatever ’ s the matter- you ’ re ever so pale and you ’ re grinding your teeth- are those boys bullying you? ” 
 
 The men dressed in equally tight spandex across the road are blowing kisses towards us and I give them what I hope is my most disappointed-in-them look. 
 
 “ Come in for a moment Paul, you ’ ll catch your death wearing just that. Where ’ s your coat? ” 
 I close the door behind us, keep that chill out. 
 
 “ Mrs K, look, firstly, super-villains don ’ t wear coats ” I tut and smile indulgently- boys nowadays. “ Secondly, I ’ m 31, and the most notorious villain that ever lived, so I ’ d be grateful if you ’ d call me by my villain name in public- Paul doesn ’ t have quite the same effect as Captain Dread ”. 
 
 I ’ ve embarrassed him in front of his friends. I can see that now. I put my head down sadly. 
 
 “ It ’ s just since Fred died, I ’ ve been so lonely, and it ’ s such a comfort knowing that you live next door ” my voice catches “ You ’ re like a son to me ”. 
 
 “ Mrs K, I love living next door to you, it ’ s just that I ’ ve got a reputation you know? ” 
 
 “ That ’ s OK Captain ” I sigh sadly. 
 
 “ Look Mrs K, let me mow your lawn this weekend- perhaps I could come over for a spot of tea on Sunday? ” 
 
 I perk up a little, “ and if you could just talk to that dreadful official at the council for me, he says I ’ m not eligible for a parking permit… ” 
 
 “ Consider it done Mrs K ” 
 
 I smile as I wave him off- there has to be some perks to living next door to a super villain, right? 

