[ WP ] But this time , the sunset was more than just the end of the day .

He'd promised 2 years. 730 days. 17 520 hours. It'd sounded like an eternity when I was desperately clinging to minutes and seconds but now... now it was a cruel joke, an agony that seemed to last forever and rush past so damn fast that I could barely tell one instant from another. 
 
 *Fuck*. 3 minutes left before sundown. That had been the deal. 2 years, marked by the setting sun. 2 wonderful years that had gone by so damn fast. Too fast. Seems like only last week we'd left the hospital. The looks on the doctors' faces had been priceless. They'd called it a miracle. I'd tried not to laugh - it was no miracle, not at that price. 
 
 *Fuck*. I had so much left to tell her. So many places still to show her. So many moments to share. So many conversations. So many laughs. So many kisses. So many memories to replace the ones that haunt my nightmares - the hospital, all that blood, the gurgling. Oh fuck, the gurgling. So many... well, everythings. 
 
 *Fuck*. She's so beautiful. Sitting there, serene, wearing the dress she wore when we went for ice-cream that winter. Damn stupid idea that was, but she giggled and fluttered her eyelids and like always I melted faster than the cones we forgot on the counter. It still hugs every curve. In the dark I never could tell where silk ended and skin began. Any other time, any other place, it'd drive me insane. Any other day it'd be lying in a heap on the floor with my jeans and shirt as company as giggles turned to moans and flutterings of a different sort took hold. Any other day. But not today. All I can think of now is how few times I've told her how perfect she is. 
 
 *Fuck*. 2 minutes left. 2 measly minutes. I'm a blubbering mess and she's looking so confused. So concerned. That crinkle above her nose is dancing up and down as she asks whats wrong. I want nothing more than to grab her tight and wrap her in my arms and tell her how sorry I am. How I tried to find a way out. But there is n't one. Shit. Shit. Shit. I should have done more. Maybe that psychic in Washington was n't a conman, it was only a couple thousand dollars, I should have risked it. I could have sold the car, it'd have paid for those crystals. Or were they beads? Does it even matter? Should have manned up and done the deal, traded a kidney for that poultice. What a selfish cunt I've been. 
 
 2 years. Now 1 minute. And then its over. The spell... the curse... whatever it is. It's over. 2 years is all we got. All that with just one little caveat - I could never tell her what I did, the bargain I struck, why she ca n't remember those 3 days... whats going to happen in a minutes time. 
 
 **Fuck**. 
 
 Sunset. Staring into her eyes. Those beautiful green eyes. She's saying something but I'm not listening, I'm just trying to remember the sound of her voice. The way the light catches the arc of her neck. The smell of her perfume. To capture every detail and hoard it away. I should have tried harder. I should have been smarter. I should have done so many things. But now it's too late and we'll both pay the price for what I did, and what I did n't. I'm so sorry and it does n't change a thing. 
 
 ***************************************************************************************** 
 
 I held her hand till it went cold long after the stars came out and evening's warmth turned into night's chill. Till my back screamed and every muscle ached and not a tear was left unshed. For the first time in the dark I knew where silk ended and skin began. 
 
 He'd be here at sunrise. 
 
 A final night apart after our final day together. That was the deal. 
 
 A debt had to be paid. 

