[ WP ] Captain Obvious , Sargent Sarcasm , and Admiral Asshole are in a room together

`` The Commander is fifty-five minutes late,'' Captain Obvious said with practiced ease as he looked at his watch. 
 
 Sergeant Sarcasm crossed her arms and leaned back in her seat. `` Do n't sweat it,'' she said. `` He would n't let us down, would he? His loyalty is the stuff of legend!'' 
 
 `` I do n't care if he's throwing orphans out of a burning building,'' the Admiral shouted as she walked out of the private room, `` I'm not paying his share! Does n't he know how expensive this fucking place is?!'' The patrons in the main room of the restaurant stared, their eyes wide. The Admiral raised her tone even higher and stared right back. `` Go back to your overpriced mush, you cowards!'' She walked back in, slamming the door. 
 
 By the time Admiral Asshole had taken her seat again, there came a knocking. `` WHAT?!'' she bellowed. 
 
 A timid waiter opened the door. `` I'm terribly sorry, sir, ma'am,'' he said, his voice trembling, `` but the Commander just called to let you know that he'll soon be on his way.'' He did n't even wait for a reply before closing the door and scurrying back to the kitchen. 
 
 The Sergeant smirked. `` I'm sure he's not doing it on purpose,'' she said. 
 
 The Admiral seethed as she chewed on an ice cube. `` Fuck him,'' she said. `` He knows how much I hate wasting my time.'' 
 
 Across town, Commander Contrarian leaned back and fiddled with the TV remote. `` One more episode,'' he announced to no one in particular.
