[ WP ] Turns out , when you 're drunk and you die , you stay drunk in Heaven/Hell . For eternity .

`` HAPPY NEW YEAR!'' we cheered simultaneously. `` Cheers, you fuckers! Ca n't wait to see what 2017 holds for us!'' said Lewis. 
 
 Lewis and I had grown up together. He had always been the more outgoing, and social member of our small group. I had always wished that I was as outspoken and confident as him. I started to dwell on my insecurities and before long had removed myself from the conversation and started nursing a bottle of whiskey. I was only physically there. My mind drifted off to failed relationships, trouble at home and work, my own shortcomings and recent break-up. She said she needed more of a man, and I was n't it. Remembering that burned worse than the 80 proof poison in my hand. But it made me numb to everything. With each swig I felt more and more weightless. All my troubles seemed to either go away or just did n't bother me. 
 
 I watched Lewis carry on with these two girls who almost seemed to be subtly fighting over him. I had had enough and decided to call it a night. 
 
 `` You okay to drive, buddy!?'' Lewis asked. 
 
 `` Yeah, I'm *fine*.'' I shot back. 
 
 I was not. I barely made it down his stairs and to my car. But I put on some music and lit a cigarette and headed home. My phone lit up, it was Lewis. `` Come on back, man: /'' it read. I should n't have been driving anyways, and had n't gotten far. I decided to turn around and head back to Lewis's place. 
 
 My phone started to ring and I reached down to grab it out of the cup holder but dropped it. I reached down to get it from under my left foot but put my weight on the steering wheel and veered off into the other lane. Everything went black. 
 
 
 `` Clarke? Hellooo! Wake up sleepy!'' 
 
 Everything started to come back into focus. My surroundings were obnoxiously bright. 
 
 `` W-where emi?'' 
 
 `` You're in heaven, friend! You got yourself into a nasty accident. Totaled your car and some other guys.'' 
 
 `` Did you call my insurance company they-'' 
 
 `` What part of you're in heaven did you miss?'' 
 
 `` oh hey! haha you're that Jebus dude!'' 
 
 `` No, son. I am God.'' 
 
 `` Well hey there *GOD! * I'm Abe fucking Lincoln'' I laughed. 
 
 The towering man in robes did not seem thrilled. He pointed at his feet and suddenly the floor became transparent and I screamed! We were really high up, and appeared to be floating over a volcano. 
 
 `` See that down there? One more strike and you'll be down there. I'm not afraid to do it, just ask the guy who runs that place.'' 
 
 `` Ok ok ok, well tell me what's going on then!?'' 
 
 God took me for a walk and explained where I was, what had happened, how I would remain for eternity in the same state that I died in. After he was done I sat down to try to comprehend all of this. My mind was so foggy and it was difficult to understand at first. He helped me up and showed me to my house where I fell asleep on the most comfortable bed. 
 
 I woke up the next morning, and stumbled out of bed and went outside. I sat down on my stark white front porch and started to reflect. Everything was still numb and I felt absolutely nothing when I thought back on my previous life. It was incredible. If I was forever drunk, I was forever uninhibited, and no longer troubled. After all, there are no demons in this place. Even though it was hard to stay on my feet I was finally happy and carefree. I was confident and outspoken as the booze always did that for me. What a gift! 
 
 A day later I went back out onto my porch and sat down on the rocker. I looked out at the crisp blue sky. Never a cloud in it. I saw someone who seemed familiar walking up to me. 
 
 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - 
 
 
 I hated seeing Clarke so messed up. He had a lot going on, and could n't hold down a girl. They either ended up cheating on him, or taking advantage of his kindness. He left the party in such an obvious mess I just knew something was eating his mind. Ten minutes after he left I got in my car and started off towards his place. 
 
 `` Hey Siri...'' 
 
 `` Yes?'' 
 
 `` Send a message to Clarke.'' 
 
 `` What would you like to say to Mark?'' 
 
 `` Dammit, I'll type it myself.'' 
 
 `` Clarke, come on back, man: /'' I typed out to him. 
 
 After a minute I figured to just give him a call. I looked away to turn down the radio as it rang so I could talk. I glanced up at the road a second and saw headlights coming right at me. Everything went black. 
 
 I jolted awake! Doctors and nurses were frantically moving around me. It was loud, and chaotic. I started to slip away again. 
 
 `` NO NO NO!'' I heard. 
 `` Start compressions!....CLEAR!'' 
 
 I jolted awake! I felt needles entering my elbow but after long could n't keep my eyes open. I started to slip away again. 
 
 `` WE'RE LOSING HIM!'' I heard. 
 Everything went black. 
 
 I woke up two days later. The doctors explained that I had been in a car accident and needed to go into surgery. They explained that there was a 50/50 chance of it being successful. 
 
 They slipped on the mask and started the gas. Everything went black. 
 
 
 
 `` Lewis!? Lewis is that you!?'' I heard. I opened my eyes. Wherever I was, was obnoxiously bright. 
 
 
 EDIT: spellcheck 

