[ WP ] A wizard casts a brand new spell which seems to work but has unforeseen consequences .

6:30 A.M. 5/4/2015. 
 
 The same Smash Mouth song blasts through my phone for the five thousandth time. 
 
 Fuck it's Monday already. 
 
 Feels like every day is a fucking Monday. 
 
 Fuck, got ta get out of bed and to work. 
 
 Roll out of bed, butt naked but only visible to the dark of the room. 
 
 My fingers snap and clothes fly around the room and onto my body. 
 
 Snap again and I feel a scrubbing in my mouth and a rustling in my hair. 
 
 Another snap and the lights turn on and a full body mirror appears. 
 
 Damn I look good. 
 
 Grab my bandana and snap again. 
 
 Teleported into the restaurant bathroom. 
 
 One time I actually messed this spell up and I ended up apparating in front of some guy who was taking a shit. That for sure made for a fun morning. 
 
 Whistling I kick open the door, not gon na touch that shit. 
 
 `` Hey! Eddie, when'd you get here?'' 
 
 Fuck. 
 
 Jim got here before me. 
 
 `` Just a little while ago, I packed up for the night pretty early.'' 
 
 Ca n't let him argue so: 
 
 `` Jim, did you already get the oysters for today's menu?'' 
 
 `` Ummmm'' 
 
 `` Jim are you fucking serious? Fuck, I'll go get them myself, start prepping for the day'' 
 
 Now comes my first break of the day, maybe i'll go down to the docks and watch the gulls and then appear back with some fresh oysters. 
 
 Snap snap and i'm at the docks. 
 
 This is pretty chill. 
 
 Snap again, phone has an alarm set for 7:00 A.M. 
 
 Now time to relax. 
 
 Maybe i'll take a quick nap. 
 
 Snap and i'm passed out. 
 
 Dream I turn into a rollercoaster and terrorize the city. 
 
 Damn I need to take it easy with the clams. 
 
 Fucking Smash Mouth blares again. 
 
 Time to get back. 
 
 Wait, ca n't forget the oysters. 
 
 Snap again bag of oysters appears. 
 
 Alright we're good. 
 
 Snap again and i'm at the back entrance of the restaurant. 
 
 Got ta make it seem like it took an effort. 
 
 `` Whew, that was a long ass walk to the docks, got the last of the oysters too'' 
 
 `` WHAT THE FUCK EDDIE'' 
 
 Oh shit, how'd I piss off Jim now. 
 
 `` Dude calm down, I know I took a while but that's because I was cleaning up your fucking mess.'' 
 
 How the fuck can he argue with that. 
 
 `` IT TOOK YOU A FUCKING WEEK TO BUY OYSTERS?'' 
 
 Look at my phone: 
 
 7:00 AM 5/11/2015. 
 
 Fucking IPhones do n't work with magic. 
 
 Fuck it's Monday already. 
 

