[ WP ] [ MP-ish ] A strange man tries to recruit you into some get-rich scheme , you slowly realize that he might not even be human .

When I first met Bernie, I was taken aback by his mannerisms. He continuously licked his lips in an offputting manner and stared wide-eyed around him. He seemed to grin randomly and at things I could not find humor in. 
 
 He began to tell me his scheme to get rich quick. 
 
 `` Da eleets, ya see...'' he went on in his strong East Coast drawl `` need ta pay. Dose fatcats have got all da money and if you stick with me kid, we're gon na take a bunch of it back!'' 
 
 `` For the American People.'' I said quickly 
 
 He grinned and glared up at me, looking perplexed. He licked his lips, like a lizard. `` Yeah, yeah sure. The American People. Right.'' 
 
 We spoke further about how he was going to use the Government to steal money from people who had more than he did, and that all of Bernie's friends would be in government to spend that money. He asked if I wanted a job in his Cabinet once he ruled the Free world. 
 
 As he began to lick his lips even more I began to realize the truth. Bernie Sanders was the [ god damn Loch Ness Monster ] ( http: //img.ifcdn.com/images/aa531e9761a937a905c8dbe572e91d245b1b6a861459d829b0872446c93c7e48_1.jpg )...
