[ WP ] You meet a serial killer . His next target is you and the only way to dissuade him is to persuade him why he is the worst serial killer .

The knife is descending swiftly when the beeps of his ringtone erupt and gut his concentration, shattering the arc and sending him half-stumbling out to my flank at 10 o'clock. He's clearly embarrassed, though whether for having marred his personal record of eliminations excellence or doing it in front of me or revealing a shred of his personal life, in the form of a customized ringtone, to the subject of a business transaction, I do not know. His ringtone is the sunny, warpy chorus of 1985's'One Night in Bangkok.' He reaches to a back pocket, hits silence, and turns my way with vague sheepishness. The last line's notes -'... and the pearls ai n't free, free, free...' bang and rattle off the alley's brick corners, all of which suddenly feel very far away from me. 
 
 ME:... Evening. 
 
 KILLER: Listen, I'd like to apologize. I'm normally much better than this. 
 
 ME: Like, morally? You would not normally swing a knife at me? You would not facilitate person-knife connections? 
 
 KILL/ER: No, no, definitely mean I would n't have missed. That's all professional. Actually, even the knife was a real laziness on my part, I was just feeling... a little lost, a little nostalgic. This brings me back to the farm. 
 
 ME: Is... is that why the face paint? 
 
 KILLER: Really? Think you're that lucky? Think this is face paint? 
 
 ME: I do n't... maybe. 
 
 KILLER: Listen, you do n't know this, but I'm actually pretty pricey. I'm like the, uh --... [ KILLER scrutinizes his present victim; incredibly efficient examination, taking note of every physical detail with the sweep of a glance; notes the unlabelled designer-quality jeans and shoes, plus thin thermal mountaineering vest beneath the raggedy tweed coat ]... the Armani of hired killing. It's a whole branding thing. Maybe I'll do you a courtesy, given this whole situation, and let you take a guess at who'd care enough for you to die to shell out for quality product. 
 
 ME: Uh, I guess thanks. But I, ah, I actually have an idea for how you could pay --.. 
 
 K: Or we could just do this now. 
 
 ME: No, no, you know what, no, guessing is good. 
 
 [... PART II! WILL COME, MAYBE! ]
