[ WP ] You share your body with a Lieutenant of Hell

*SUGAR IN COFFEE DISPLEASES ME! * 
 
 `` You're not the one working the five hour shift, so screw you bud.'' 
 
 `` Excuse me?'' 
 
 `` Oh, sorry miss, was...'' Will sighed, then forced the words out. `` Speaking to myself.'' 
 
 The waitress set his mug down with a thud, hard enough that some splashed on the diner table. She was pissed, sure, but also stunning. Must have been something about the stack of auburn hair. Or those frustrated steps. Or -- - 
 
 *YOU MUST MANAGE YOUR CONCUBINES MORE FIRMLY! * 
 
 `` No one asked you Asmo,'' Will replied quietly. `` Look, let me just start my day quietly. Finish this coffee, grab a bagel and check the game scores from last night.'' 
 
 *NONSENSE MORTAL, TOO MANY STEPS! COME, LET US HAVE BLOOD! * 
 
 `` No.'' 
 
 *PILLAGING! * 
 
 `` Asmo.'' 
 
 *TURN THE PAGE MORTAL, THE SPORTS SECTION DISPLEASES ME! * 
 
 Will reluctantly turned the page. 
 
 *EXCELLENT, THE CLASSIFIED SECTION! I WITNESS A FEMALE OF 52 SEEKING -- -* 
 
 He folded the newspaper, downing the dregs from his mug before leaving the diner. There were 15 minutes before the distribution center expected him. Will planned to walk the block a few rounds, taking in as much sun as he could before cramming himself in a delivery van. 
 
 *MORTAL. * 
 
 Will planned the route through his head. The intersection on 32nd and Harris was down for construction, so he'd have to find a way to get the newspapers to three corner stores conveniently placed there. 
 
 *MORTAL. * 
 
 He could have all his deliveries complete by 2pm if he was quick. Drop the van off and make his way back to the diner. A two dollar trip was n't enough for her to keep a number. Maybe a couple quarters more if he got the same waitress. Will replayed the huffy sway of those hips -- - 
 
 *WILLIAM, SHEATH YOUR CONCUBINES AND PAY ATTENTION! * 
 
 `` Not in public Asmo, remember?'' Will whispered. `` Wait'til I reach the van, you know that.'' 
 
 *I REQUIRE POSESSION FOR 100 SECONDS. * 
 
 `` Ca n't it wait?'' 
 
 *NO. * 
 
 He checked his watch. `` Alright, but keep it quick.'' 
 
 Will felt his body turn around, retracing his steps. He could see where Asmo walked, felt and sensed, so he did n't bother hiding his surprise finding himself in front of the diner again. 
 
 *Oh you motherf -- -* 
 
 `` SILENCE MORTAL, I HAVE 82 SECONDS,'' Asmo proclaimed in Will's voice for the block to hear. 
 
 *No you fucking do n't, not this stunt again! * 
 
 `` I SAY SILENCE, AND WITNESS!'' 
 
 Will knew he should have expected this. He did n't think 100 seconds was all that long to get a girl's number, but Asmo begged to differ. All he could do now was sit back and watch himself get banned from his third diner that month. 
 
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 More at /r/galokot, and thank you for reading!
