[ WP ] You are a horny Dr. Seuss ; write a Suess-Style Rhyming erotic novel

**All the Things We Can Fuck** 
 
 Once in the land of Zabbity Boo there lived a young man named Artemis Groo. 
 
 He had never had sex, never even been kissed. And because of this, he had just one solitary wish... 
 
 It was just one wish, so it's simple you see, but he would not tell it to anyone. No, not to you, not to me. 
 
 So, it was while traveling on Dingleberry Lane that young Artemis Groo met Mr. Mootle McBain. 
 
 It was the grandest of luck the two met that afternoon, for you see Mootle was a peddler, and we're not talking balloons. 
 
 He sold everything contraband, of any shape, any size. And if you had enough Plubie Coins, you just might get a rise. 
 
 So McBain saw an opporutnity and took it to task, as he called out to Artemis as the two crossed paths. 
 
'Hi there, ho there, dearest young neighbor, could I per chance interest you in a delectable flavor?' 
 
'I promise I stock just about anything you'd like, I even have two Tweendles who do it on a bike.' 
 
'I have fat ones and short ones, and tall ones that are lean. And I promise to stock everything in between.' 
 
'Does A purple Ganari sound ever so grand? Oh maybe you'd prefer in front of Marcus and the Ever-So-Perverted-And-Voyeuristic Jazz Band?' 
 
'Or maybe you'd like two cats in a shoe. If you have enough Plubies, I can do that for you.' 
 
 Thank you good sir, for your most sincere concern, but I do n't think you'd have the item for which I yearn. 
 
'Oh, now that's silly, young lad, it's as plain as day, you're looking for something, just for what I ca n't say.'' 
 
'Maybe it's an around-the-world in an expensive new Beemer, and I wo n't tell a soul if it's a Cleveland Steamer.' 
 
'But there is clearly something you are searching for today, and I'd bet my pet goose Girdie that you're not even gay.' 
 
'But, I sell that too, if it's what you desire, Mootle McBain is my name, and I have what kindles your fire.' 
 
'I know what you want is much more than a suck, and just think of it, boy, all the things we can fuck.' 
 
'I have new girl who can spin for hours on your weiner, and I have three-foot-tall dominatrix if you'd like something meaner.' 
 
'I have Asians, Malaysians, and and Hamubai Gurasians, and if you do n't like exotic, I have boring caucasians.' 
 
'My girls do n't dissapoint, you wo n't twiddle your thumbs, I even have girls that like in their bums.' 
 
 No sir, see sir, I told you quite clear, I seriously doubt you'll have what I hold dear. 
 
'Do n't be silly, son, the world is your oyster, I can even for arrange Sister Nanilly in the church cloister.' 
 
'By meeting me you've had the most wonderful luck, just think of all of the things we can fuck.' 
 
'Now, do n't be daft, I'm loquacious, I know, but it's because there are so many things to show.' 
 
'And it's occurred to me, that it's not a woman you seek, but perhaps a device or gadget since you are a geek.' 
 
 And with that old man, you are closer, I'd say, but I still do n't think you'd have what I am after today. 
 
'Oh, do n't you dare give up so quickly, young buck, and just think of all of the things we can fuck.' 
 
'I have vibrators and crybrators, and vim vambity voobrators, and if that's not enough, I have some shaped like alligators.' 
 
'I have cock rings and Spock rings and even Captain Kirk rings, too, and if you have a few extra Plubies, I'll bring Mr. Shatner to you.' 
 
'I have a new device straight from Spacula 9, that be warned, if you put it on, you'll come one hundred and nine times.' 
 
'But, if that's too pricey, and too much for you, I have a Chicago Sunroof complete with latex and goo.' 
 
'And if you like I can see what I have back in my truck, but dear boy, think of all the things we can fuck.' 
 
 Mr. Mootle, I beseech you, please do understand, that nothing you have is part of my plan. 
 
 What I seek, it is sleek and has buttons galore, and it is most certainly, and definitely not some sort of whore. 
 
'But, that's it, Eureka! How could I have been so blind, you are after the Ejaculator 9000 version 2 mach 9.' 
 
'And if that's not it, perhaps netiher of us know, and we must sit down and retink this to give it a go.' 
 
'I just ca n't figure out why I have nothing you want, why I have Gnarfles, and Flarfles, even a Goozily Gaunt.' 
 
'I can procure a needle stuck straight through your nose, as ten ebony secretaries lick ten little toes.' 
 
'An enema? We could do ten of them, all just for you, and the remnants made into a milkshake, maybe two.' 
 
'Make out with someone's grandma in the absolute dark? Or maybe docking with your gym teacher would quite hit the mark.' 
 
'Three grimbids up your ass, leaving room for a gnark by a mile, with two lovely librarians licking your balls all the while?' 
 
'It's getting difficult and frustrating, I'll just have to admit, but when it comes to your quest, I may have to quit' 
 
'Giving up is something I've never done in past, I even once had a man who wanted his penis grafted into his ass.' 
 
 Mootle weebled and wobbled and floozled a bit, and finally he said,'Son, can you at least give a hint?'' 
 
 The boy turned to McBain and with a very sad tone, said `` It's seems I am cursed and will always be alone.'' 
 
 So the reason you could n't quite help me before, is because all that I want is a Playstation 4. 
 
'You are right, son, with that I'm most terribly stuck, but just think of all the things we could fuck.'
