[ WP ] It 's the middle of the night . Your iPhone starts ringing . You wake up . You 're getting a Facetime call from someone who died three days earlier .

PREWORD: Not the middle of the night lol 
 
 -- 
 
 `` Jackie Levin is calling you.'' 
 
 What? The receptionist who died the other day or whatever? Why is she calling me? 
 
 `` She's FaceTiming, do I answer it or nah?'' 
 
 `` Just give me the phone and leave my office.'' 
 
 I answer the call. 
 
 `` What do you want, did n't you hear the priest? REST IN PEACE.'' 
 
 `` I'm in purgatory. I need to make amends with everyone I wronged before my soul can rest.'' 
 
 `` Okay. What do you have say to me? And why is it so dark there?'' 
 
 `` Well, I'm calling you for a different reason. I know that you're a part-time grave robber --'' 
 
 `` SHH. How do you know this? Who else knows??'' 
 
 `` Most of the building but whatever. I need you to take me to my father's grave, undig his corpse, and let me speak to him one on one. It's the last person I need to make amends with.'' 
 
 `` You have to make amends with dead bodies? Why is n't that asshat in purgatory with you?'' 
 
 `` I want to rest in peace. Can you please do me this favor?'' 
 
 `` I'm kinda busy today, but I guess I can help you.'' 
 
 `` Thank you so much. Just call this number back when you're standing over his lifeless rotting corpse at City Limit Cemetery. His name's David Levin.'' And she hung up. Fucking bitch is still making me run errands for her. 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - 
 
 `` Hello?'' 
 
 `` Hi Jackie. It's your grave-robbing co-worker. I'm standing over your father's corpse as you asked of me.'' 
 
 `` Dad! Umm, can you like drop the phone on his skeleton? Thanks. Dad. I am sorry I was n't a good enough daughter for you. I'm sorry I am the reason mom died. I never got to meet her but everything you say about her sounds amazing. I wish I could've fulfilled her memory. But I could n't. You just do n't like trannies.'' 
 
 `` You're a tranny?'' 
 
 `` Shush. Dad... you wanted a miserable son instead of a happy daughter. I could n't forgive you for that. It's why I left you alone in that decrepit old house and never spoke to you again. But dad, I forgive you. I love you. No matter what gender I am, I am still the part of you that Earth created and we have this unshakeable bond that can never be separated. This truth between us that exists entombed in the history of the Universe. So please, let me just go to heaven already.'' 
 
 Call ended.
