[ WP ] Space mining is on the rise . The Space tanker Exxon Valdez 2.0 crash and spill its cargo . Write a news story covering the event .

„… and the little duckling will never be able to walk again. ” 
 
 The artificial intelligence paused a moment for dramatic effect before continuing with its broadcast with a different voice. 
 
 “ What a hearth breaking story, Frank. But now to another story that may leave you feel equally dirty. The automated space tanker Exxon Valdez 2.0 collided with an asteroid on its way to the Jupiter moon Ganymede. According to the ship owner the ship is out of control and leaking its content into space. ” 
 
 “ That ’ s right, Fred. And the content of the ship has it in it, as they say ”, the computer said in first voice again, “ The whole tanker was filled with ‘ biological waste products ’ coming from research and mining stations in the Kuiper Belt. ” 
 
 “ Biological waste products? You don ’ t mean... ” 
 
 “ Yes, Fred! ” Dramatic pause. “ I am talking about poop. Lots of it. And apparently it ’ s spilling everywhere. ” 
 
 “ Better call the plumbers, Frank. ” 
 
 “ Not any time soon, Fred. A spokesperson of the ship owner stated and I quote – ‘ Space is kind of big and empty, we expect no one to care, so why should we? ’ Apparently they will just build a new ship and be done with it. ” 
 
 “ That ’ s one way not to deal with the problem. But why doesn ’ t the ship fly home? Shouldn ’ t the AI on board be able to handle such a problem? ” 
 
 “ Well, the issue is that the part in charge to deal with asteroid impacts like that has been impacted by the asteroid. ” 
 
 “ Ouch. Talk about a bad run. ” 
 
 “ True, especially if you take the name of the ship in consideration. ” 
 
 “ Oh? Exxon Valdez 2.0 it was, isn ’ t that right, Frank? ” 
 
 “ You ’ re absolutely right, Fred. Did you know the ship was named after an infamous ship of the twentieth century back on old Earth? Apparently the Exxon Valdez of old was used for transporting petroleum across the oceans of Earth. Petroleum, as some of our listeners might not know, was a brownish black, gooey liquid comprised of biological matter which was transformed under high pressure for millions of years. Quite ironically the Exxon Valdez was infamous for crashing and spilling its cargo. ” 
 
 “ Well, talk about making a bad name for yourself. Now both ships will go down in history for spilling black gooey stuff where it doesn ’ t belong. Who had that bright idea for such a name anyway? ” 
 
 “ Well, Fred, the company made its first plunder by holding a naming contest on the internet. ” 
 
 “ Oh, will they ever learn? ” 
 
 “ Apparently not, Fred. Predictably someone tried to make a joke out of it. A niche side of history role players got wind of the contest and made it its goal to get it named after the infamous Exxon Valdez. Apparently they thought it would be funny, and given the content both ships were ferrying around, they might have a point. ” 
 
 “ Funny, indeed, Frank. What ’ s the name of the side? ” 
 
 “ Well, Fred, it ’ s called Reddit. The people there mostly talk in outdated lingo and memes and watch cat pictures back from a time when the internet only was local on Earth. ” 
 
 “ Truly a herald of the dark ages. ” 
 
 “ You might be right about that, Fred. I assume they just thought it was funny. I guess this happens, when you let the internet decide on things. ” 
 
 “ Well, Frank, when you think about the content both ships were ferrying around, they might have been right. Embarrassing for the company, but funny for everyone else. ” 
 
 “ It might get worse than that, Fred. Environmentalists are up in arms. They claim that the human waste products spilling out of the ship might collide with Jupiter ’ s moon Europa within the next few millennia and might contaminate the biospheres with Earth life. Apparently there are a lot of bacteria and the likes in poop and some might be able survive the harsh conditions of space and end up impacting on the restricted moon. ” 
 
 “ Oh dear, Frank, does the Monolith know about it yet? I am sure it won ’ t let us hear the end of it. ” 

