[ WP ] It 's July 4th and it 's business as usual . Except the US Flag on top of the White House is upside down .

`` Today, ladies and gentlemen, is a day of celebration. A day where we are proud of our guns. A day where we are proud of our freedom ^^TM. A day where, above all, we are proud of our heritage, in the form of our flag. It represents all our values and our ability to overcome challenges. And today, on this Independence Day, our flag is flown upside down. There are excellent reasons for this and I one day hope to find out what they are,'' the President said with a confident voice. 
 
 `` How was it that time?'' he asked his Chief of Staff. 
 
 `` Well your voice was very convincing. You almost sound like you know what you're saying,'' his CoS complimented. 
 
 `` Thanks. I've been trying to put up a mask of competence for a while. It's been pretty taxing on me.'' 
 
 `` Yeah but there's just one little issue. The flag is n't upside down. Are you sure your speechwriter wrote that for you?'' he questioned the President. 
 
 The President began beaming. `` Actually no. I wrote that in myself. I saw that our flag was upside down on our roof today so I assumed it was a symbol of our country or something,'' he said proudly. 
 
 `` You are right in some way. The upside down flag is a symbol. But it's not what you think it is.'' 
 
 `` Oh is it for happiness? Like when people are happy they flip the flag upside down?'' the President asked. 
 
 The CoS shook his head, not believing the incompetence oozing from the mouth of the American Head of State. `` No, Sir. It means that someone is in dire distress. According to the Flag Code of the United States section 176 ( a ), The flag should never be displayed with the union down, except as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property.'' 
 
 `` Heh well that's why you're my Chief of Staff. I would n't know that. Come to think of it, I do n't even know most of our laws but that does n't matter because I'm the fucking President.'' 
 
 `` Well we have to find out what the problem is. Someone is clearly in distress in this very building,'' the CoS suggested. 
 
 A few misguided attempts at operating the PA system later, the President managed to make an announcement. 
 
 `` Umm yeah so whoever put the flag up this morning you did it upside down. If you're in distress or something please contact the front desk or me,'' the President said. 
 
 `` And now we wait,'' the CoS casually said. 
 
 `` So, uh. How's the weather? I've heard it's pretty good,'' the President awkwardly asked. 
 
 `` Wow you have n't really been taught how to small talk either have you?'' the CoS retorted. `` In any case, you have a good view of the outside. The weather looks fine.'' 
 
 Just as the awkwardness in the room could n't reach a higher level, there was a knock at the door, saving the President from his social anxiety. 
 
 `` Uh sir? There's a dude out there who claims to be the flag guy,'' some intern said, poking his little acne filled face through the door. 
 
 `` Send him in please.'' 
 
 The subject, a middle aged man who looked like some office worker who was plopped in to a job at the white house, spoke. `` Sir, I put the flag upside down this morning because there was a very pressing matter.'' 
 
 `` What is it? An invasion? A threat?'' the President asked, suddenly looking flustered. 
 
 `` Actually it's a little less important than that.'' 
 
 `` Ok what a drought? I've heard California had some. Or like a food shortage? We have to feed our people.'' 
 
 `` Well it's kinda like that second thing you said. It is a shortage.'' 
 
 `` Ok get to the point. Why did you need to put our flag upside down?'' 
 
 `` Well you see I was dared a while ago to do it. For shits and giggles you know? I figured that this would also be a good time to do it, since like. Well. Umm.'' 
 
 `` Spit it out.'' 
 
 `` Ok fine. The break room machine is out of coffee. We tried to get someone to refill it, but we only got the standard we're working on it reply.'' 
 
 `` Ok yeah I'd say that's a situation of distress. That's fine by me. I'll get my men to refill your machine. Anything else?'' 
 
 At this moment, the CoS was sitting off to the side considering blowing his own brains out and ending all the incompetence surrounding him in his life. 
 
 **** 
 
 Feedback is welcome as always
