[ WP ] Capitalist fix `` Zombie Crisis ''

I hate the random infection checks at work, there is literally no point to them. If I was infected I most definitely would n't be at work. 
 Everyone knows that when you come into contact with the virus. It takes just under a day to fully kick in and after two hours of it taking hold you look like absolute shit. 
 I reckon it's got something to do with the government just trying to make it seem like your tax money is going to good use. I suppose it also makes the sheeple feel safer. 
 I just wish people would wake up smell the brains. 
 
 Ever since this Unilever company came up with the solution to our little zombie problem their company logo can be seen coating every available large area. It's all over the major cities. If it's got a billboard, it's got Unilever on it and right next to it of course in bold `` U.S. Government approved''. 
 
 Old Donald really shined during the outbreak. His charismatic attitude carried a message that really bought Americans together. I guess his it's them and us mentality really suited a zombie apocalypse. He had his followers riled up to fanatical levels to the point that there where riots. Well I call them riots, the streets were more or less turned into battlefields. 
 
 The infected were brutal. Most people call them zombies but I associate zombies being the slow and mindless things from the walking dead. Nah these are n't them. 
 if you are ever unlucky enough to look an infected in the eye, you will just see pure hate. They are sneaky aswell. Some people say they have heard the infected mimicking human sobbing and cries for help. 
 
 Well anyway back onto my rant about them taxes. 
 Ever since Unilever have become an officially endorsed government organisation the price of hair products has shot through the roof! I am talking like $ 70 in some states. 
 It's obviously got something to do with the oils in it that somehow makes the inflamed brain of the infected go down. 
 Once the swelling of the brain goes down the person mentally goes back to normal providing there is enough of them left. Obviously their is a lot of rehabilitation programs to help ex-infected come back into society. You do hear quite a lot of success stories to be fair. Not that I have ever seen a rehabilitated infected. 
 They should definitely make it so you can buy the old cheaper hair products still though. 
 
 It's got to have something to do with Trump. I read an article on Facebook the other day about how apparently Donald as a businessman bought some shares in Unilever not too long before the outbreak actually happned. 
 I would n't be surprised if Trump orchestrated the whole outbreak just for financial gain. 
 
 To be honoust America needed a good culling. It has created a lot more jobs and also because America has managed to recover a lot quicker than most other countries our economy is also booming due to an increase in trade. 
 
 Who would of thought it would take Trump and a few zombies to make America great again.
