[ WP ] You , an average man , die an average death , having never had any contact with the supernatural . You notice the Grim Reaper becoming increasingly distraught . He ca n't reap you .

The Grim Reaper sighed, he had become increasingly irritated `` If this did n't work the first time, it should have at least worked the second time. But an hour has passed and I still ca n't reap you!'' 
 
 I did n't care how long it took. You always heard stories of things like the Grim Reaper and the supernatural growing up, but how often do you have the chance to stare it right in the face? 
 
 `` Are you sure you're doing it right?'' I asked gingerly. 
 
 `` OF COURSE I AM! I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS AND THIS,'' he barely faltered, `` NEVER HAPPENS!'' 
 
 His response prompted me to keep quiet. Asking questions, even offering help, would do no good here. In fact, it would benefit me not to say anything. As far as I know eternal nothingness awaits me as soon as he gets that thing to work, might as well enjoy this. 
 
 `` Hang on buddy I got ta make a call.'' His tone had changed. He was still pissed, that was obvious, but had managed to collect himself enough for a phone call. 
 
 From his billowing cloak he removed a flip phone, turned his back to me, and strolled forward. He carried his scythe as if it were the handle to a briefcase rather than a proud, ancient object. 
 
 `` Ye, I wan na know just what the fuck you idiots are doing down there?'' Never mind professional chat whilst talking to customer service. 
 
 I began to ignore the next several minutes of talk, as the Grim Reaper mimicked everything the woman on the other end said. It was n't until he had been silent for several minutes, stiff as a board, that I began to pay close attention. 
 
 ``...'' 
 
 A sudden, sharp inhalation and then- 
 
 *CRACK* 
 
 The Grim Reaper slam dunked his phone into floor, shattering upon impact with the dank stone. 
 
 He errupted into a fit of rage, smashing his scythe against the wall. All the while cursing... `` FUCK COMCAST!'' 
 
 A million questions raced through my mind. But I had learned from my mistakes and decided to remain quiet. This was no easy task though, I was very curious to learn the connection between Death and Comcast. 
 
 His fury went on for several minutes, with varying curses and attempts of wrecking his prized possession. The frenzy concluded with Death doubled over panting before he turned back to me. 
 
 `` I ca n't take it anymore. I do n't know why I decided to work with them in the first place. This thing...'' he held up the scythe, `` Only works as long as *they* are doing their job...'' 
 
 He got back to standing position. With flames of determination bouncing in empty eye sockets he held his head high and stuck out the arm closest to where the scythe lay mangled on the floor. 
 
 `` Know this...'' he was looking at me now, but it was if he was talking to all of existence. `` Death seldom feels emotion...'' He began to choke up, but continued, `` But what those sons of bitches at Comcast...'' The flames burned more fiercely now, illuminating the room. 
 
 `` I'LL BE DEAD BEFORE THEY GET MY SERVICE!'' In an instant, the scythe flew into Death's grip and in one fluid motion the edge had been dragged along the Grim Reaper's neck, and the flames extinguished as he fell down face first. 
 

