[ WP ] You 're the time traveler who killed Hitler . As punishment for damaging the timeline , you 're sentenced to REPLACE Hitler .

Well, I did it. It was n't supposed to be possible, paradoxes and all that, they said. So the national science agency made some money on the side letting people go back to try to change things. Every year a few thousand people paid to try to kill Hitler, usually they just broke a leg, sometimes they got shot, but overall the certainty of their causality equations meant no one could actually do it. 
 
 I won a call in spot with my local radio station, giving away one free ticket to try to kill Hitler. Mostly I just wanted to experience time travel, when a two hour trip costs more than most people's houses it was something someone like me would probably never be able to afford. 
 
 Anyway, oops. It turns out causality was weirder than expected. The more Hitler's death, or anything in the past, would affect you the traveler, the more unlikely it was you would change it. But not impossible. Just unlikely. And my family had spent the last century or so being fairly self reliant on our little farm, unlike most of the wealthy or scientifically trained traveler's for whom a change to that timeline would change things a lot. I thought it'd be funny to film myself dropping a piano on his head, and the radio station helped me fund the prank. Since the earth moved in time, you had to carefully adjust for motion, they paid a bit more to have me flash in about 60 feet above Adolf with a piano dangling from the machine, I'd cut the cord, record whatever history did to stop it from working, and be back before the machine finished it's several minute descent to the ground. 
 
 Well, it turns out it worked. The piano fell on his head, he died. Now they're prepping another time machine. The courts were n't sure how to handle this, but they've decided my punishment ( since I signed a form acknowledging all legal liability blah blah blah ) was some facial reconstruction surgery, and that they'd drop me in and remove his body simultaneously. They're telling me not to change anything, that I've done enough damage already. But what the hell. I get to go back in time and take the place of one of the most transformative slapstick comedians of all time. Everyone dreamed of actually killing him during one of his transformative death defying tricks, especially with all the jokes he made about challenging `` future time travelers'' to come get him. Now I've got to go back in time, and live out my life in the 1930s. I've got full knowledge of everything he did to truly usher in a new era of arts and entertainment, and I hope I can live up to his legacy!
