[ WP ] Make me terrified of an inanimate object

To: sales, IT, RnD, HR, customer-relations 
 ATTN: RECALL The “ Little Darling ” Interactive Doll ’ s House 
 
 Hi everyone, 
 
 This is just a heads-up to the staff - we are making the official announcement later on. 
 Unfortunately, the “ Little Darling ” doll house needs to be recalled. 
 
 I know R and D worked hard on this one, so let me be the first to say sorry. The attention to detail was incredible! Little Darling ’ s eyes really seem to follow you across the room. And, oh my goodness, the kitchen table looked great. 
 
 What can I say? We ’ ve had too many complaints. As CEO, you never feel good about recalling a toy, especially one you ’ ve put as much work into as this one. 
 
 Most of the complaints are the same. The doll house was great for the first couple of days. Little girls would spend days locked in their rooms, playing with Little Darling and her make-believe house. 
 
 Afterwards, the girls ( and one boy ), would suddenly appear to completely lose interest in it. They ’ d even demand to their parents that the doll house be put in storage. How they never want to see it again, and how the dolls talk to them at night, and blah blah blah. Just kids being kids, right? Love a toy one day, bored of it the next. 
 
 Parents were also complaining that their child would start talking like “ some kind of creepy British girl. ” Saying “ mummy dearest ” instead of “ mom ”, and babbling on about “ completing the blood-ritual on the next full moon ”. Again, typical kid stuff, right? They hear an accent on TV, and they need to try it out. 
 
 Anyway, that ’ s the skinny. Sorry, again. It wasn ’ t anyone ’ s fault. Let ’ s dust ourselves off, and stay the course. We are still on track to release “ My Little Animal Sacrifice ” by the end of the quarter! 
 
 Hank Grimm 
 CEO
