[ WP ] A priest , a rabbi , and a minister walk into a bar . But this is no joke , this is a tragedy .

A minister walked into a bar. A rabbi soon followed. The bartender at Mc ’ Ally ’ s Bar was surprised by his guests. He poured each of them a beer, rarely seeing holy men in a bar. 
 
 A few minutes later a priest walks into the bar. 
 
 “ This must be a joke, ” the rabbi remarked. “ You can ’ t have three of us in a bar and not have a joke. ” 
 
 “ I got a joke for you, ” the minister said, ordering another beer. “ Who has had their heart ripped out and stomped on by those he loves most? This guy! I am a joke, aren ’ t I? All this preaching of God ’ s love, all these things I tell others to do, and what do I do? What do I do? Well go on, tell me? That son of a bitch upstairs thinks it ’ s okay to take away the only woman I truly loved. Yeah, I ’ m a minister, I ’ m supposed to love all my followers. But I don ’ t give a rat ’ s ass about them. They ’ re just fools who happily hand over their money for the promise of an imaginary redemption. As if God even exists. And if he somehow does, well he can go fuck off in my opinion. ” 
 
 The rabbi and bartender were stunned silent. The bartender cleaned some glasses, while the rabbi carefully sipped his first beer. 
 
 “ What are you fuckers here for? ” the minister asked a couple minutes later, two beers and a tequila shot down the hatch. 
 
 “ Ironically enough, I caught my wife cheating, ” the rabbi said. 
 
 “ Oh, really? ” the minister asked. 
 
 “ She doesn ’ t realize that I did yet, ” the rabbi said. “ But it ’ s all on tape. I ’ m going to kill the guy. That ’ s why I ’ m here. One last good drink before I go bat shit crazy and kill this guy. ” 
 
 “ And you, oh great priest? ” the minister inquired. The minister was well into his third beer, the rabbi ’ s beer nearly finished. 
 
 “ The bartender here is a good friend of mine and thought that you might need someone to talk to, Mr. Minister, ” the priest replied, still not drinking anything. 
 
 “ Do you think the guy fucking my wife even knows who her husband is? ” the rabbi blurted out. He gulped down the rest of his beer. 
 
 “ I ’ m not sure how relevant that is, ” the priest replied. A few seconds later he was lying on the floor, the rabbi ’ s punch having connected with his jaw. 
 
 “ I know I should be all, don ’ t do this, don ’ t fight, but I got to admit, this is pretty entertaining, ” the minister commented, starting on his fourth beer. “ Bartender, $ 10 on the rabbi. What do you say? ” 
 
 The bartender didn ’ t reply as the rabbi and priest fought. The priest pulled on the rabbi ’ s beard, the rabbi connected a few solid punches. 
 
 A few minutes later the three holy men walked out of the bar, the rabbi and priest sporting some black eyes, carrying the minister who was too plastered to walk. They stared up at the starry sky. The minister wondered if God was even up there. The rabbi thought of how he had stooped so low as to beat up a priest. And the priest merely thought of the rabbi ’ s wife ’ s bare chest, and smiled, realizing he had gotten into the wrong line of work. 
 
 “ May God smite us all! ” the minister yelled half drunkenly, half sarcastically. They would be the last words he ever spoke as the lightning struck him, spreading to the other two men holding him. The minister ’ s last thoughts, along with all the ones on pain, were: *Shit. Is God actually real? Also, how awesome is it if he is, as I just smote us all. Pretty badass. And maybe I get to see my wife again, or at least I never have to think of her again. Doesn ’ t matter; the pain will be gone soon. * 
 
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