[ WP ] Yesterday , the world heard an announcement that a massive asteroid would hit the earth today . Only it did n't , and now everyone is feeling super awkward .

Jared never wanted kids. Having been born the oldest of 4, he felt that parenthood was n't anything he fancied for himself. Between all the diaper changes, runny noses and scraped knees that he tended to in his adolescence, by 15 Jared figured he was already more a father than he ever wanted to be. While he abhorred the idea of bringing life into the world, he jumped at any opportunity that would potentially create it. Sex was Jared's modus operandi. Since college, Jared had developed an impressive network of relationships with partners that valued him as a person and as a means to an end. Jared was happy to oblige. He provided his own condoms. He checked their expiration dates. He checked them for holes. He would tie them in knots and take them when he left. He bought plan be when he was even a little uncertain. Jared did *not* want kids. While he loved the peace of mind that safe sex awarded, Jared could n't deny how nice it felt to go bareback every so often. Even if it meant dropping an extra 50 quid for a morning after pill. Naturally, when the emergency broadcast came on announcing the end of the world, Jared threw caution to the wind. With the new information, Jared vowed to spend the rest of his life doing what he loved to do, the way he loved to do it. 
 
 
 
 Jared woke up post Doomsday as shocked as everyone else but quite a bit more dehydrated. Updates in the news confirmed that the asteroid threat mentioned the previous day had been dispelled as a false alarm. Jared blood ran cold. He thought back to the previous day. He remembered whipped cream stained sheets. He remembered Fuzzy hand cuffs. He remembered little blue pills, scented lotions, and The Weeknd. He did n't remember condoms. Jared's hand trembled as he opened his mobile bank account. His eyes began to well, his unfallen tears reflecting the red over draft notification that popped up on screen. Jared set his phone on the table and began to pace the floor of his studio apartment. On pill would set him back $ 50, not that he had it to spend. How many had he slept with? He could hardly hear his own thoughts over the sound of his pounding heart, so it's easy to see how he missed the 43 separate text alerts that chimed on his phone. Jared did n't know it yet, but they all said the same thing. Jared was going to be a father. Jared never wanted kids.
