[ WP ] The Devil has decided to reveal his existence to humankind and he has chosen to do so on America 's Got Talent . How goes his first audition ?

Satan took three long, smokey breaths as he tuned the last string on his fiddle backstage. `` Do n't worry, you got this.'' he muttered to himself. In well over two thousand years, Satan was about to make his first public appearance on one of the most watched programs in the country, *America's Got Talent*. As the host walked out to announce him, Satan thought back to how exactly he'd gotten himself into this position. 
 
 It had been a long journey to that point. Satan had wrestled for years with the idea of seeking out his revenge on all those who had mocked and ridiculed him, but never mustered up the courage to do it. Since science had expanded so much in the past few hundred years, and fewer people believed in religion, Satan was afraid that should he try and make himself known on Earth, people would laugh at him and make him feel like a fraud. Not to mention that Hell had gotten extremely busy since around the mid 1900's. He really could never find the time to make it up to Earth, what with the trying to find space for all of Hell's newcomers and scheduling all of his realm's events on a daily basis. However, after talking to his partner, Saddam, he realized that this was something he needed to do. 
 
 His plan had worked brilliantly to this point. He flew up to Earth a few weeks prior to the audition, bought some `` human-like'' clothes, and even gotten professional make-up artists to cover his ghoulish features. When asked why he looked the way he did, he told everyone, `` Burn victim.'' 
 
 He already knew what his first step would be in exacting his revenge; he just needed a way to act it out. He checked out a cheap motel room near the audition sight for the show, bought a second-hand fiddle from a pawn shop, and began practicing. He ad heard about *America's Got Talent* through some of his servants down in Hell. They all told him what a great, fun show it was and that he should check it out. So he did just that. It was n't long before he realized how easy it was to get on the show, and that with his fiddle skills, he could really exact his revenge. 
 
 So there he was, sweating backstage, waiting for his moment in the spotlight. When the host called his name, there was no applause... no cheering... just silence. He slowly walked out on stage, shoulders slumped over, fiddle in hand. 
 
 The judges said nothing for a while, and then one asked, `` Did he way your name right? Is it really... Satan?'' 
 
 `` Um, yeah.'' Satan replied. 
 
 `` Jesus Christ.'' the judge said. 
 
 `` No, Satan. S-A-T-A-N. Jesus is the other guy.'' 
 
 The judges stared at each other. 
 
 `` Wait, so you're saying, you're actually Satan? Like, the guy from the Bible?'' 
 
 `` Uh huh. Should I start my song, or like, what?'' Satan asked. 
 
 Everyone in the audience was flabbergasted. The room fell completely silent. This only made Satan more nervous. HE began to shake slightly as the sweat ran the make-up off his face. His red skin peeked out. 
 
 `` Um, okay, I'm gon na go ahead and start now.'' he said. `` This is a song I wrote, couple years ago. Never played it for a live audience before. Hope you guys like it. It's called `` Go Fuck Yourself Charlie Daniels.'''' 
 
 An audience member chuckled. Suddenly, Satan was n't so nervous. He touched the bow to the strings and began. 
 
 `` 1, 2, 3, 4...''
