[ WP ] You live in a universe where the gods do wonders for their chosen followers . You are your god 's only chosen and you are really getting tired of his/her shit .

I slide open the door to my closet and curse. She did it *again. * All of my shirts and pants have been rearranged in a manner more pleasing to my god. Which is fine. Really. Except that I prefer to keep my pants on the upper rack. But whatever. I pick out a suit and get dressed. 
 
 I walk into the kitchen and smell freshly cooked bacon and recently-brewed coffee. I grit my teeth. My breakfast sits on the small table in the corner of my kitchen - eggs, bacon, a piece of toast. And of course, the coffee. The coffee is horrid - bitter at first, it leaves a lingering sour flavor in my mouth. It has been two weeks of this same breakfast. *Two weeks. * I could kill for a bagel and some smoked salmon. Smoked salmon is displeasing to my god, but it's not like she is eating it, right? And why ca n't she do the dishes? 
 
 After clearing the table and cleaning the kitchen, I return to my bedroom for the morning prayer. I kneel before the small shrine and whisper the sacred words that my mother taught me when I was a child. These are the same words that my grandmother taught her, and the same words that my ancestors have spoken since time immemorial. I bow to the shrine and grab my car keys off the dresser. I hold my breath as I step outside - what car will I drive today? 
 
 A white Honda sits at the curb. I sigh with relief. Every day, a new car at her whim. She used to switch out the cars while I was at work, but I could never figure out which car was mine. After much begging at the shrine, she apparently consented to change the car once per day, and always overnight. She used to be obsessed with early cars from the 1920s. It took three months to convince her to stick to cars made after World War II. The Honda is a sensible choice, and I am happy as I drive to work. 
 
 The roads to my office are clear of traffic, of course. I never hit a red light. Cars are lined up at every intersection, waiting for me to pass. I can not see the drivers but I feel their glares. Feeling guilty, I hunch down in the driver's seat and remind myself that I'm not to blame. It's not my fault that my god only has one follower. Finally, I pull into the parking lot at my office. 
 
 As I walk inside, I wave to Cheryl at the receptionist's desk but she does n't wave back. We had dated a few months ago but then broke it off. Cheryl had complained that she could never phone me - her phone would break, or she'd get disconnected, or worse. One time, she had tripped and broken an ankle. That had been the last straw. I sigh. Surely, any god would want their followers to `` go forth and multiply'' right? I had dated sporadically over the years, but no one ever pleased my god. In desperation, I even tried dating another man, but that did n't work. I once declared that I had given up on love but the next day there was n't a car at the curb when I left for work. It had been raining and all of my umbrellas had suddenly gone missing. I spent the whole day in prayer at my shrine, apologizing and promising to find a suitable wife. I had to take a sick day. The next day, sunshine and ( literally ) rainbows. 
 
 I close the door to my office and sit at my enormous desk. I started working at the company a month ago and, after a series of improbable promotions, I am now Vice President of Business Development. While I appreciate the paycheck, I have no idea what I am doing. I am supposed to be working in IT but I guess my god does n't understand modern corporations. It would n't be so bad except everyone loathes me. 
 
 Sally, the Chief Financial Officer, sticks her head into my office. I beckon her in. 
 
 `` What can I do for you, Sally?'' I ask. I have n't seen her since the corporate retreat. 
 
 Sally frowns and hands me her phone. `` Do you know anything about this?'' She asks. 
 
 Confused, I take her phone and look at the screen. 40 missed calls. I click on the list and every single call is from my cell phone. 
 
 `` Oh my,'' I blush. `` I have no idea how this happened. I am so sorry!'' 
 
 Sally waves away my apology. `` Yeah, well, I ca n't call out either. Every time I try to call someone, I end up in your voicemail.'' 
 
 `` Hmm,'' I say, `` I have n't received any voicemails from you.'' 
 
 `` I know,'' says Sally. `` That's because I have n't left any. I just hang up. But you need to fix this. It's been three days and it is driving me crazy.'' 
 
 I turn Sally's phone over and over in my hands. `` I'm really sorry, I have no idea how this could be happening.'' Then I pause. 
 
 Oh no. Of course. 
 
 My god. 
 
 I sigh. `` Sally, would you please consider going to dinner with me?'' I know very little about Sally, and I have never considered her for a romantic relationship. *Why her, * I ask silently. 
 
 Sally frowns again. `` Uh, I think that HR might have a problem with two VPs going on a date...'' 
 
 The phone on my desk rings. I put the call on speaker. `` Hello?'' 
 
 `` Hey, uh, this is Jim from HR-'' Sally looks at me, confused - `` Yeah, uh, I just wanted to let you know about a new policy that we are starting. I'm calling all the VPs about it. Uhhhh, I guess that it's ok for VPs to date amongst themselves? Or something? There's a change in policy, ok, that's it. There's a change in policy.'' Jim hangs up and the line clicks off. 
 
 Sally looks at me, and I shrug with resignation. 
 
 `` So, how about that dinner?'' 
 
 ***** 
 Part 2 of this story is [ here ] ( https: //www.reddit.com/r/hpcisco7965/comments/3xxdel/writingprompts_wp_you_live_in_a_universe_where/ ). 
 If you liked this story, you might like my other stories at /r/hpcisco7965 or /r/TMODAL. 
 
 

