[ WP ] You 're on a first date and its going very well until you make a huge mistake . You somehow get a sign from future you telling you that this person is `` the one '' . Do n't screw it up .

`` Hey, listen up. Do n't screw up tonight.'' 
 
 That's what my phone said, as my bowels began another torrent upon that poor, poor porcelain throne. 
 
 `` Who is this?'' 
 
 I was pretty pissed right then. I mean, I know friends like to joke around, but come on. A shit-storm was brewing under my butt, and I did n't feel like having anything else add to it. 
 
 `` Its you. From-'' 
 
 Aw, shit. Stupid phone was always glitching and not finishing messages. 
 
 `` Its you. From the future.'' 
 
 `` That's impossi-'' 
 
 As soon as I typed that, I realized that there was n't one of my friends phone numbers, but my own. I mouthed a `` what the fuck'' and my heart began to race. So many questions, so many... 
 
 `` **Hey, you ok buddy? You need me to get an enema bag or a mop? **'' 
 
 *'Shit. How long have I been in here?'* 
 
 I hurriedly finished up, and started washing my hands when I felt another vibration. 
 
 `` Listen! My past-reception's running out. Remember: She's the one-'' 
 
 That's all it said. I knew what I had to do. 
 
 I fixed my collar, and tucked my shirt back in, trying in vain to remove a piece of broccoli from my teeth. 
 
 *'' Oh well. Here goes nothing,'' * I said, flustered as hell and ready to abandon ship. 
 
 I opened the door to see very few people left. A busboy was already clearing away my plate, while a waiter was giving her the bill. She frowned and reached for her purse. 
 
 I walked over there and said to tge waiter, wallet in hand, `` Hey, I've got the check.'' 
 
 `` Why did n't you at least pay before you decided to ditch me?'' she asked, a hint of annoyance in her voice, and a look of sadness in her blue eyes. 
 
 `` No no no. Do n't cry, Sarah. Please do n't cry. I do n't know why Murphy's Law is enforced tonight, but maybe, if you had another chance, we could try this again?'' 
 
 `` Sorry, Gordon, but I do n't think so. You seem sweet, but I just got out of a bad relationship, and now I do n't think I'm ready to get back into one.'' 
 
 As she left, she left with my heart. At least, for the time being. 
 
 Then I realized that she left her phone. 
 
 `` Hey! I think-'' 
 
 Just then, my phone went off. As did hers. 
 
 I checked mine. Apparently, a message finished sending. 
 
 `` She's the one to ruin your life.'' 
 
 And then, my mouth nearly agape, I received a new one. 
 
 `` It worked. Thank God!'' 
 
 ***A few minutes earlier... *** 
 
'What happened to him? I thought it was going really well. Maybe I should leave before he comes back.' 
 
 That's what I was contemplating when he left to use the bathroom. It had already been a couple minutes since he left, and I was through three more levels of *Disco Bees's Minute Mode* by the time my phone went off. I checked it, thinking that it was my mom or one of my girlfriends. 
 
 `` Listen to me, Sarah. Dump him right now.'' 
 
 `` Who is this?'' I texted back 
 
 `` It's you, but in five years time. Now, hurry up and dump him.'' 
 
 `` How do I know its you... er me?'' 
 
 `` Our old dog, Daisy, well, he dies in a few seconds.'' 
 
 As if on cue, my phone blew up. My mom and dad both texted me to tell me the family puppy ( though she always had a penchant for me ), going on 12 years tomorrow, had died in surgery. 
 
 I wanted to cry, but I received another text message from myself. 
 
 `` I know you think he's ok, but save us from a lot of heartbreak. Please.'' 
 
 A little bit later, a busboy and a waiter came to clean the table and give me the check, respectively. 
 
 I reached for my purse, putting my phone in and taking my credit card out. 
 
 As soon as I was about to give the waiter my card, Gordon came back from the bathroom and asked the waiter for ( presumably ) the bill. 
 
 `` Why did n't you at least pay before you ditched me?'' I asked. 
 
 `` No no no. Do n't cry, Sarah. Please do n't cry. I do n't know why Murphy's Law is enforced tonight, but maybe, if you had another chance, we could try this again?'' he said. 
 
'What's he talking about? I'm not crying.' 
 
 `` Sorry, Gordon, but I do n't think so. You seem sweet, but I just got out of a bad relationship, and now I do n't think I'm ready to get back into one.'' 
 
 *And I left. Well, until I realized I forgot my phone. * 
 
 ***Later that night*** 
 
 Gordon trudged home to his apartment, downtrodden at his recent failure. His neighbor, Emily, greeted him in the hallway, a load of laundry in her hands. 
 
 `` Rough night, eh?'' 
 
 `` Yeah. My date did n't go as planned.'' 
 
 `` That sucks. You need a drink, or someone to talk to?'' 
 
 `` Nah, but thanks Emily. I'm just going to go to bed.'' 
 
 `` Alright, Gordon. See ya in the morning.'' 
 
 He walked into his apartment, and his phone went off. 
 
 Fandango apparently notified him two tickets were purchased for a movie premiering tomorrow, and that the buy requested a note be put on them: 
 
 *'' Go for it, me. This time, it works out fine. `` * 
 
 EDIT: There. I hope the girl's part was written ok, as it was my first time writing for a female character.
