[ WP ] You are the bored immortal behind many of history 's mysteries .

Ah ha! Finally, you have discovered that it was I, Luminati, who has been behind all the horrible video game movie adaptations. 
 
 Hardly the project I expected to uncover me this time, but I guess you people are surprisingly dedicated to trivial nonsense. Yes I know the name sounds cheesy, but it's my name. That's not what I call the organization, it's just a name someone gave it ages ago. Possibly because I have never quite altered the Ah-ha phrase, but you should n't mess with the classics. 
 
 At any rate. Congratulations, you are only the, I do n't know, it's somewhere in the thousands now I expect. So yes, you're one of the thousands to ever have discovered my existence. Immortality gets so dull after the first three centuries. Give yourself a pat on the back or something. 
 
 What's that? You do n't believe me? Be that way then, I guess you do n't want to hear about how the pyramids were really built. 
 
 Alright fine, apology accepted. Back then I wanted to create large mysteries that would baffle people for generations, so I used my anti-gravity tech and some precise laser cutting tools to make those things. 
 
 Stop laughing! I'm being perfectly serious! 
 
 I am immortal! I invented it ages ago! 
 
 Okay fine, let's see how much you like laughing as you're floating in mid air. 
 
 Yeah that shut you up real fast. I'll let you down now. This will hurt a bit. I mean, I've worked out the kinks so it normally does n't, but you laughed so... 
 
 Now kneel. 
 
 You heard me. KNEEL WORMS. 
 
 Good. Thank you. 
 
 You know, to be honest, I really did expect it would be something else that brought investigators to my door this time. I had such fitting traps planned for all of them. But you guys would probably just have died if you'd faced one. 
 
 Yes, I've known about you entering the facility from the beginning. I knew about it before you had even set out. Spy bots, they're everywhere. I've actually been trying to get someone to notice them by spreading all that surveillance and encryption debate around, but so far, no one has clued in on it. 
 
 Yes, that's me. I've been behind a whole mess of things you would n't believe. Well maybe you would now, if you're smart. 
 
 A whole mess of things. Spontaneous combustion for example. Do you know I coined the phrase and the phenomenon? 
 
 I was bored, they were insignificant, what's your point? 
 
 That's not even the worst thing I've done. Honey I have done things that would make your blood run cold until the day you died. 
 
 I've also stopped three world wars. Might have to stop another soon. 
 
 Everything gets all boring and muddled after a while. Even the dancing plague started feeling stale soon, and that one was hilarious. 
 
 I should think all of you believe me by now? Good. Any questions? 
 
 Are you seriously still wondering about the videogame movies? 
 
 Look. The technology was n't there yet and no one was ever going to take them seriously. You've got to wait for the right time. Look at how Marvel was before and how well they've done under my organization. So that was the final question of your life, huh? 
 
 Yes, the final question you'll ever ask. What did you think was going to happen to you? 
 
 No that question does n't count. 
 
 Nor does this one, stop it. 
 
 Guards! 
 
 Yes of course they're robots. Are n't you impressed? 
 
 Yes, you're all going to die, what did you expect? You'd uncover a hidden all powerful conspiracy and win somehow? 
 
 Guards, immediate execution for the lot of them. 
 
 No wait, escort that one in the glasses and that one with the tattoos to the holding cells. The AI has just told me that they might both make excellent additions to our group. 
 
 Also the guy looks cute. 

