[ WP ] Your spouse just discovered you 've been a member of a cult for the past 5 years , a cult that worships the comedic actor Will Ferrel .

`` Sarah, wait!'' I beg. `` I swear, it's not what you think it is!'' 
 
 Sarah looks at me, tears streaming down her face. `` Oh, it is n't, is it?!'' She stomps over to me, a glittering locket in her hand. `` Explain THIS then!!'' 
 
 I snatch the locket from her, cradling it tenderly in my hand. `` Look, it's not a big deal!'' I stammer. `` I mean, it's just what I believe!'' 
 
 She gives me a look of incredulousness. `` Paul, we've been dating for FOUR YEARS now! We're about to get married! And now you're telling me that you've been part of some kind of freakish cult-'' 
 
 `` THE CHURCH OF WILL FERREL IS NOT A CULT!!'' I exclaim, clutching the locket to my chest. `` Anyways, I do n't judge YOU just because your family is-'' 
 
 `` Is what, Paul?!'' she demands. `` Jewish?! Oh, I'm soooo sorry, you must have so much to deal with. Meanwhile, my fiancé literally WORSHIPS RICKY BOBBY!!'' 
 
 `` All I'm saying is the Church of Will Ferrel teaches love and laughter, and Judaism teaches to cut your son's foreskin off, so which religion is weirder?!'' 
 
 Sarah lets out a humorless laugh before sinking to the floor. `` My God,'' she mutters. `` I'm engaged to an anti-semite who worships Will Ferrel!'' 
 
 I open the locket to see my Lord Ferrel's loving face beaming up at me. *This is n't right, Paul, * he whispers to me softly. *Forgive her, for she knows not what she does. * 
 
 I sigh before closing the locket and putting it in my pocket. `` See, this is why I did n't want to tell you,'' I say softly. I take one tentative step towards Sarah. She does n't move away, which I take as a good sign. `` I knew you'd think this was weird, and I did n't want to scare you away.'' 
 
 She wipes the tears from her eyes. `` Well,'' she sniffs, `` I suppose there are WORSE things to believe in.'' 
 
 I smile and sit down next to her. `` Look, before we met, I was in a dark time in my life; L.A. did n't pan out the way I wanted it to, my parents had cut me off... I was a mess. The Church of Will Ferrel gave me a reason to stay on the wagon and get my life together. If it were n't for the church, I would n't be the man you fell in love with when we met.'' 
 
 She sighs and lays her head on my shoulder. `` Well, that DOES explain all the cheesy Anchorman pick up lines...'' 
 
 I frown. `` Hey, I stand by the'I wan na be friends with your behind' line. That's quality stuff there.'' 
 
 She gives me another laugh, this one far more inviting. `` This made planning the wedding a bit more complicated... And my parents will be absolutely LIVID if we do n't get a mohel if we have a boy...'' 
 
 I shrug. `` I always thought adoption would be better for us. When we're ready, of course.'' 
 
 She looks up and gives me a wry smile. `` I'm sorry things got out of hand earlier,'' she says sheepishly. `` Could you ever forgive me?'' 
 
 I feel a grin tugging at my lips. `` I guess you could say things'escalated quickly'?'' 
 
 Sarah goes deadpan. `` You're lucky I love you,'' she groans, plopping her head back down.
