[ WP ] I cut open a green pepper tonight and found a giant caterpillar inside . Please create a convoluted conspiracy that explains who put it there and why .

The room was cold, damp and lit only by the projector - each new slide would paint the room and it's occupants with the few faded colors held in semi-transparent stasis. 
 
 `` This, ladies and gentlemen, is our target.'' The slide changed and the faces of the on lookers took on it's colors. 
 
 The image on the board was of a man: blue shirt; light olive skin; short, dark, well kept hair. The cockroach who lead the presentation continued. 
 
 `` He has killed and maimed us-'' 
 
 A partially squashed spider said `` Bastard! ``, a widowed ant wept. 
 
 `` -he has destroyed our homes and our lively hoods - no one needs a kitchen *that* clean.'' The cockroach, who had passed back and forth, stopped and turned to his audience. `` His reign of terror ends now.'' 
 
 The flies buzzed in applause, so did the mosquitoes, every one of the insects made a noise to show their excitement, even the firefly who was being used as a projection lamp. 
 
 A poisonous green gas exploded into the room and the cockroach screamed for retreat. 
 
 `` Yeah, there was some space behind the kitchen cabinets and a few other spots where pests could hide so I gave those areas an extra squirt of the good stuff.'' The Pest Control man said as he wiped his nose on his sleeve. `` Should be pest free for another twelve months!'' 
 
 * * * 
 
 The plans of the roach were halted. No operatives survived to initiate the plan: a foll frontal assault. 
 
 But old man Roach had been smart. He had set up a contingency plan. It was convoluted and stupid, but what do you expect, it was a plan made by a cockroach. 
 
 * * * 
 
 It went like this: 
 
 Days before the big push a weevil with a message would be sent out of the house, and out of the deadly reach of the target. But! Not out of reach of a bird. The weevil would get eaten by a bird and flown to the park, the major source of trees and known meeting spot for birds, which was also a source for.... 
 
 
 Picnics. The bird that ate the weevil would poop on a humans shoulder, thus transferring the message. The message would then be cleaned up with a tissue and discarded on the ground where it would be found by ants that were attracted by the picnic. They would take the message, read it and deliver it to a spider. 
 
 The spider would set up a web and catch a fly. The fly would not be eaten. It would be given the message and told to deliver it to the capsicum farm, with a few stops at dog turds to pass the message to another fly along the way. 
 
 Once at the farm the message would be delivered to one of the caterpillars that would be found there. The suicidal bastards, they have to be to hang around the pesticide laden farm, will take on a little job for old man Mr Roach. 
 
 They would wait in a green pepper, the human liked green peppers, and, once purchased, would wait until the human placed the green pepper into the fridge. 
 
 The next day, when the human opened the fridge... 
 
 Wham! Shived by a butterfly with a chicken bone! 
 
 Or at least that's how it would have gone down, if only the human had n't brought the green pepper home and used it straight away. 
 
 Chop! 
 
 The caterpillar winced in the bright light of the kitchen. `` Bugger.''
