[ WP ] `` Are you okay ? '' `` Yeah . '' `` No . Are you OKAY ? '' `` ... No . ''

It's the psychologist. Again. 
 
 At 4:00 PM. On Monday. Again. 
 
 Not that I had anything better to do since I'm on Academic Leave. 
 
 `` Are you okay?'' 
 
 Fucking psychologist. 
 
 With the questions of course, always with the questions. 
 
 `` Yeah.'' 
 
 Look into those beady eyes. Nestled in the wrinkles of her crow's feet, magnified by those dopey spectacles. She keeps staring at me, as if she cares, as if anyone cares, as if she knew how I felt. No one knows how I feel, no one could know how fucked it is to be me. Fuck that bitch. My parents are paying her by the hour for this bullshit that I have to suffer through. So ironic that bourgeois Mommy and Daddy, as frugal and strict as they were, are paying this fucking charlatan. 
 
 Wearing her fucking maroon cardigan, while I lay on this mahogany leather couch. What a cliché. A `` Therapist''. For fuck's sake give me a real **psychiatrist**, someone who could give me the drugs to make this stop, and let me be. But no, no, no anti-depressants because my parents are just so fucking conservative, are n't they? 
 
 Why the fuck would she keep her stupid Obama Biden mug? Ca n't she see that he's totally fucked? He lied, he never closed gitmo, and he expanded the surveillance state. The Panopticon. Fucking Foucault. Fuck! Fuck! And Fuck McSkallenborgen too! Fuck all the Profs, and Fuck this shitty rustbelt piece of crap town that this infected cancer of a college feeds on. 
 
 She probably was still in school when Obama was running, was n't she? She's young. What the fuck does she know? She's ca n't even be in her late twenties. Fuck her. I took Psychology. Fake it'til you make it right? If I smile, I trigger the same operant conditioned neurons that activate whatever neurotransmitter is responsible for the illusion that we call `` happiness'' and I'll just feel better, like that! Magically! *Just smile. * It's what everyone says. Fuck'em. Miserable twats. 
 
 Was it all the drugs? Was it the partying? I was n't like this before! I was just a happy regular kid, just like anyone else. Why ca n't I feel happy again?! What's wrong with me? What fuses did I burn out to make me feel this way? No it ca n't be my fault, it's just in my genes, it's just... FUCK! 
 
 She's still looking at me. The miserable witch. 
 
 `` No. Are you OKAY?'' 
 
 No of course I'm not okay. 
 
 No I do n't know what to do. 
 
 No. I'm scared. I feel hopeless. I feel like I'm circling some vast, empty void, a vacuum, eating me alive, I'm drowning. 
 
 ``... No.'' 
 
 *editor's note: not to worry folks, I am definitely not depressed. I mean, I've experienced extreme sadness but that's just part of the human condition, but I would n't say I've approached clinical depression levels - not even close! ( remember: self-diagnosis is dangerous, if you think there's a problem seek a professional!!! ) but I do have a lot of friends who have struggled with depression, and I've definitely encountered depression in very real, intimate ways, which is what inspired me to try and understand/empathise what it might be like to feel depressed using this very excellent prompt! *
