[ WP ] The story of what you do when you leave the house , written by , your dog .

My mom gets up sooo early, when it's still dark! She makes me get out of the warm, cozy bed and locks me out of the bedroom during the day just because I puked in her bed a couple of days ago. Then I have to go back to sleep on the couch. She also makes me go outside when it's cold! My big sister Corina does n't mind going outside, but my legs are only 4 inches long and my privates get in the snow! 
 Usually, after I come back inside, my mom goes in the scary `` bath'' place, which I like to avoid just in case. Then she rushes around complaining about being late. 
 Then, and this is the part that really makes me and Corina sad, she LEAVES. It's like she goes on a really long walk ALL DAY and does n't even take us! I do n't understand why she does n't take us. She must have so much fun, going out all day. Maybe she goes to the dog park or the Petsmart, who knows? She stays out all day and when she comes home again, she is really tired. We're so happy when she comes home, because we get treats and cuddles! But other times I can smell that she has cheated on us with another dog, and this makes me suspicious. In the evening, I sit next to her on the couch or in her lap, and this is very cozy. I always hope tomorrow, when she goes out for her long and exciting walk, she might take me with her, but she does n't. She takes us for much shorter walks than the ones she goes on all day long. It's not fair, really. I sure hope I get to go tomorrow! 
 In the meantime, I'm going to finish this rawhide bone. If any other dogs out there figure out what exciting adventures their moms and dads go on and what parks they run around in, let me know! 
 -Elliott the wiener dog
