[ WP ] Dyslexic zombies rise from the dead , searching for `` Brians ''

This was it. The endgame, me or them. 
 
 And it sure as hell was n't going to be me. 
 
 The doors burst open, my guards having been torn to shreds, poor sods. Standing in front of me now, was a horde of the undead, a skeleton in wizard's clothes, for some reason, and a dumbass with a lute. 
 
 `` It's over, Brian!'' Said the skeleton-wizard, pointing a bony finger at me, and speaking in a low, guttural tone. It was then, the dumbass began to play. 
 
 Did I ever mention that I absolutely *despise* the lute? 
 
 The wizard shouted again, this time to his undead minions, and with a single, arcane command, the advanced. 
 
 *'' Briiiiaaaaaaannnnnsssss'' * The horde moaned. *'' BRIIIAAAAAAAANNNNSSSSS'' * 
 
 `` Eh, hold up, do n't they mean'brains'?'' I asked, honestly a little bit confused. 
 
 `` They're dyslexic, I got them for half off. Guy's got ta make a living,'' the wizard said, his tone indicating that he's given this explanation quite a few times, by now. 
 
 `` So they're going after Brians, as in, people named Brian?'' I asked. 
 
 `` Yes, that's why. We. Are. HERE!'' The wizard said, quite annoyed. 
 
 `` As in, B-R-I-A-N, Brian?'' 
 
 `` What other kind of Brians are there?'' 
 
 `` Well, I'm Bryan, with a Y,'' I said, flatly. 
 
 The zombies stopped. 
 
 `` What are you doing? His name is Brian! Get him!'' 
 
 Suddenly, a ghostly form appeared between us, dressed in black and white, I recognised this as referee attire. 
 
 `` Roll for bluff,'' the figure said. At this point, mind you, things were *really* getting weird. 
 
 `` They're revenants, I'm a necromancer, do I *have to? *'' Asked the wizard, in a whiny tone. 
 
 `` Just do it, Charles,'' said the imbecile with the lute. 
 
 `` Fine.'' Said the wizard, pulling out a small, ball-like object, and casting it upon the ground. `` Uhhh... One...'' 
 
 `` Failed bluff check, your zombies know that his name is the other kind of Brian, they refuse to attack.'' Said the ghostly figure. 
 
 `` BUT THEY KILLED ALL THE GUARDS! EVERYONE HERE IS SUPPOSED TO BE NAMED BRIAN!'' Shouted the skeleton wizard. 
 
 `` No, it's Bryan, with a Y, you'd have known that, if you bothered to read the sign,'' Said the ghostly figure, once more. `` Your revenants are now useless, and deeply depressed at the thought of having murdered the wrong kind of Brians.'' 
 
 `` This adventure sucks,'' said the skeleton, storming out the door, his horde following behind. 
 
 `` So... What was that about?'' I asked the ghostly figure, who began to reply, when suddenly, a torrent of acidic green rain fell from the skies, permeating the air with the smell of... Citrus? What was thi- 
 
 -- - 
 
 `` Fucking great, Charles, you got Mountain Dew everywhere, you fucking dick. Now my campaign is fucking ruined!'' Said the DM, shouting at my companion. 
 
 `` Matt, that was bullshit, tell him it was bullshit!'' Charles said to me, furious. `` I only ever made that character because of that last boss!'' 
 
 `` Hey, do n't look at me, I'm just the bard,'' I replied, shrugging, as Charles picked up his character sheet, tore it apart, and stormed out of the basement. 

