[ WP ] Ever year around Christmas Satan accidentally gets thousands of letters from children writing to Santa , this year however he gets a letter that makes him sit up and take notice .

`` Meteors raining from the sky; high temperature today of 432 and a low of 394 later this evening. A beautiful day in Hell, would n't you say, Dblthup?'' Satan turned and looked over at his head imp, who had been following along just behind Old Scratch. 
 
 `` Yes, sir, Mr. Satan, Sir. A beautiful day indeed. The regularly scheduled torture of murderers and pedophiles is proceeding as per your orders; petty criminals are being tied up and subjected to thirty minutes of daily tickle torture before being released to do as they will for the rest of the day. I'm not just saying this because you'll burn me to a crisp if I say otherwise, but the tickle torture was just perfect!'' 
 
 `` Carry on, Dblthup. I have some business to attend to in my private quarters. Knock only if there's an emergency.'' 
 
 `` Yes, Mr. Satan, Sir!'' 
 
 The Devil lounged back in his chair in his office at the top floor of Hell, Inc.'s interplanar headquarters. `` That time of the week? Got to make a trip to Earth here at 4:00 to meet with my old rival... Santa Claus. It's funny how similar we looked back 1700 years ago; was damn hard to tell us apart. Then, he decided to grow out his beard and dye it white; I decided to hit the gym and lose some weight, and we went off and did the various things that immortals and demigods end up doing. Funny thing is, though, that interplanar postal service does n't do a good job of sorting the delivery, so we meet up once a week to exchange letters that went to the wrong place, catch up, and do a little bit of friendly trash talk.'' 
 
 `` There was one letter that caught my eye. From a eight-year old kid. Read something to the effect of this:'' 
 
'Dear Santa, 
 
 This is Charlie. Every night, I have to go to bed hungry. My dad gets lots of bottles of smelly liquid that tastes really nasty, and then starts drinking them. Daddy gets really angry and starts yelling at Mommy and they fight a lot. Can you make Daddy go away so Mommy will stop crying every morning? She does n't look so great anymore. She looks like she is really hurting, and takes lots of medicine to make the pain go away. Anyway, I really hope you are doing very well with your Elves at the North Pole! Merry Christmas!' 
 
 Now, I might be the Prince of Lies, CEO of Hell, and the Punisher of the Damned, but even I have some standards. Well, anyway, time to go meet with Santa. After that, little Charlie is going to get his Christmas wish come true. Old Nick is going to pay his family a little visit - I think I just so happen to have an extra cell after those last couple of guys busted out and escaped back to Earth.
