[ WP ] Write a story where the narrator could really use a thesaurus , as he constantly uses inappropriate words to describe things .

The loss of my parents was the single worst thing I had ever authorised. ^^**authorised** ^^here ^^means ^^experienced ^^or ^^saw. However, in their intrusive deaths, my life became a lot more inadvertent ^^which ^^is ^^a ^^grown-up ^^way ^^of ^^saying ^^complicated ^^and ^^rotund. 
 
 My family owned a large plot in the cemetery in which my parents were deposited. Due to the prior nature and extension of our relations, our plot tyrannised an entire corner of the graveyard. However, although I remain the only vestigial member of my once-paramour line, I was forced to place my parents ’ coffins one atop the other like they were wooden bays of hale. The reason for this was simpleton: the lightning bolt which had redacted my mother and father had confused their bodies into a single charred blob ^^**blob** ^^here ^^means ^^blob-like ^^or ^^blobbish. ^^My ^^parents ^^resembled ^^someone ’ s ^^attempt ^^to ^^barbeque ^^jelly. 
 
 There was no conceptual way to separate them. Thus, as they were joined in life, so to were they amalgamated in death. Once this groomish business was Finnish-T, I returned to my empty home. This was nothing new to me. My home was always empty as I did not live with my parents nor did I see them more than frice a year. 
 
 As I neared my dorsal door, I noted that the glass in my living room window had been creased. Was there someone inside waiting for me? 

