[ WP ] Epic Rap Battles Of History ... And Fiction !

**Harry Dresden VS Harry Potter** 
 
 -- -- - 
 
 **Dresden** 
 
 Forty years old, and I drive a Volkswagen Beatle, 
 
 But if we were in the same movie, I'd be Stark, you'd be Cheadle, 
 
 If you in were my world, you'd be beneath the White Council's notice, 
 
 If I were in yours, I'd show Hermione where Thomas's boat is. 
 
 I take on guys that make Voldemort look like Mary Poppins, 
 
 And when I finish beatin' em, I take your dead mom shoppin. 
 
 -- -- - 
 
 **Potter** 
 
 You think you're real tough, being the Winter Knight? 
 
 You got your ass beat by the Billy Goats in a fair fight, 
 
 The scar I got shows I'm the real deal, 
 
 When I hurt your feelings, do n't show Molly how you feel, 
 
 Oh thats right, you broke her mind at Chichen Itza 
 
 Your Winter Knight ceremony was weaker than a barmixtzfah 
 
 -- -- - 
 
 **Dresden** 
 
 If I were at Hogwarts, I'd run the whole damn school, 
 
 I'm usually the underdog, but not if I'm facing you, 
 
 I was given soulfire by an Archangel wearing flannel, 
 
 When I see your movies on TV, I change the damn channel, 
 
 I took down the freakin' Red Court Empire, 
 
 You look like you belong with Frodo in the shire. 
 
 -- -- - 
 
 **Potter** 
 
 You're the pet of Mab and work at her command, 
 
 I'm owned by no one, I am my own man, 
 
 Do n't think I did n't realize that Molly's gotten curvy, 
 
 But do n't worry, I wo n't touch her, I'm with Karrin Murphy, 
 
 You see Dresden, I fight and defeat all kinds of bad guys, 
 
 You're on the dark side now, someone should play you the bagpipes.
