[ WP ] You are a lowly minion in a computer game . The hero has just completed a speed run , and you have to report to your boss and explain why you were spared , while so many of your comrades were slain .

G'day. I'm Aaron the Armadillo. Yes, Dr Cortex, I know, you made me for the purpose of destroying this Bandicoot bugger, and I've failed you. 
 
 I get it, and before you kick me bucket... Could I tell you why I failed? 
 
... Only through an elaborate song and dance or you'll kill me? Okay! 
 
 Why... 
 
 *First I was born in a test tube* 
 
 *built to conquer the world so rude* 
 
 *domination was planned* 
 
 *The world in your hand* 
 
 *But along came a pesky bandicoot* 
 
 *Who had a talent to spin aboot! * 
 
 
 -- - 
 
 
 **CRASH! ** 
 
 *It left us aghast! * 
 
 **CRASH! ** 
 
 *And we could not last! * 
 
 **CRASH! ** 
 
 *Against his spin-dash! * 
 
 
 -- - 
 
 
 *Now it might come as a surprise* 
 
 *That we're the soft armadillo guys* 
 
 *No hard defensive back* 
 
 *to defend us against a'coot attack* 
 
 *And sadly you see, we ca n't keep up* 
 
 *When he uses a secret Warp level up* 
 
 *Straight to your lair, out of our hair* 
 
 *And quite frankly I do n't care* 
 
 *As long as I'm not dead, I'll keep my head* 
 
 *and* 
 
 **FOR UKA'S SAKE PAUL JUST SHOOT CORTEX ALREADY** 
 
 The penguin missed. 
 
 Aaron died. 
 
 Thankfully, he respawns when Crash loses a life. Which is frequent.
