[ WP ] You pray to God , wishing that you will get a boyfriend/girlfriend before you die . He gives you immortality .

I was in the presence of God. I knew it in every fiber of my being. I dropped to the ground, kneeling with my head touching the cold, hard concrete. 
 
 His benevolence radiated through my body and when he spoke, all became silent. 
 
 `` Wait, what? ``, I asked, lifting my head up. `` I'm sorry, Lord, what did you say?'' 
 
 `` Oh, I'm making you immortal.'' 
 
 I stared at him for a minute, then I realized what he meant. 
 
 `` Um, you see, I was actually thinking that you could just make someone fall in love with me or something?'' 
 
 `` What? Just force someone to like you against their free will? Dude.'' 
 
 *Yeah that sounded pretty bad. * `` Could n't you just set me up with my soulmate or someone with similiar interests? ``, I scratched the back of my head, this was not going as planned. 
 
 `` What are you? Twelve? I ai n't your fairy godmother,'' said God. 
 
 `` Oh,'' I said, my shoulders drooping, `` The thing is, I'm not really good with women.'' 
 
 `` Relax, it'll be easy. I'll help out, bro.'' 
 
 -- - 
 `` Oh wow, you suck,'' He said, handing me a towel. He had taken the form of a young, well dressed man. `` I mean eggnog? Seriously?'' 
 
 I tried in vain to get the last bits of eggnog out of my hair. The bar behind us roared as it was consumed by a blazing inferno. Sirens rang in the distance. 
 
 `` I thought you were omniscient? Could n't you have prevented this or something? ``, I coughed, the smoke was n't doing my lungs any good. 
 
 `` Ya, I can see the future. I just choose not to,'' God said, `` If I did then moments like this would n't be half as funny.'' He snapped his fingers, it began to rain. 
 
 I sighed and imagined what it would be like living through the rest of eternity, alone. 
 
 `` Cheer up, man. Look. I've reconsidered your previous request and I think there might be someone that's happy to meet you,'' He grinned and his teeth sparkled in the dark. 
 
 
 

