[ WP ] Write the letter that you always wanted to , but never did .

They say sorries are for the person and not the recipient. Saying sorry is about you and your need for forgiveness. Well, I still have n't forgiven myself. People say I am hard on myself. I call it taking responsibility for yourself and your mistakes. 
 
 My mistakes are piled so high I do n't know where to begin. Only I am sorry. Sorry for not giving you a chance. Sorry for not giving myself a chance. For being naive and insecure. 
 
 It could've been you. And me. Us. We could've fallen in love under the South African sun. The morning sunrise in the wine country could have kissed our foreheads as you kissed mine. We could've danced. Grown. Made mistakes. Fallen out and fallen back in. Instead we fell apart. 
 
 I lived a life, always thinking about you. The only person I wanted to call and say goodbye to. The only person I wanted to write to. You were the person I needed and still need. Only now you are married, and a father. And I am married, and will be a mother. 
 
 I still wonder why you wanted to see me? We had grown apart and suddenly you were coming to town and I felt like we almost opened a can of worms. I could n't sleep all night. I could n't decide what to wear. I could n't stop thinking about... You. And me. Us. 
 
 I know you will never kiss me. And I will never kiss you. But I will love you. From a continent away. But I will always love you, nonetheless. And I will always dream of us, dancing, and smiling. But most importantly please know I am sorry for breaking your heart. And for breaking my own. 
 
 I am sorry Francois. I am so sorry.
