[ WP ] I can not undo what I have done ; I cant un-sing a song that 's sung . And the saddest thing about my regret- I cant forgive me , and you cant forget

I loved that picture. Truly, I did. Although at this point, I doubt that I'll ever be able to convince him otherwise. What do you even do with something like that? Something entirely sentimental? 
 
 That's probably the worst part of the break up, knowing that I have no other option. That picture, that incredible, sweet, thoughtful gift, was my favorite possession. I hung it on the wall, next to the mirror I dressed in front of, so that I would see it every day before I left for home. Seeing the goofy joy on his face gave me the strength to handle the day. Life is really unfair sometimes, but knowing that in that moment someone loved me made it all seem ok. He really did love me. But it wasn ’ t enough. Yes, he loved me, but he loved me less than her. Or maybe not. Maybe there was some other hidden reason that he put me second. Maybe it was just that she got there first. She won the race. Or maybe I really am somehow less than her. At this point it's just speculation. 
 
 Now I have no beacon, no talisman to make me feel strong. Instead I'm left day dreaming about horrible things happening to her. I try to keep them ridiculous and funny so that I do n't feel like a horrible person. I picture her getting punched by a monkey, or getting her arrested for racketeering. Like some girl who behaves like a defenseless child would ever be capable of running a mafia. That's the most infuriating part of losing him. Knowing that this was entirely planned by some woman as a power play. I guess that's why the Scooby Doo fantasy is so appealing. Everyone is standing around with her being held in some net when Fred pulls off her obviously cheap Halloween mask. In my mind that's the only explanation for her ( obviously less attractive than mine ) face. She turns to me and say's `` I would have gotten away with it too, if it was n't for that meddling woman.'' Of course, I'm seen as the hero, and ride off into the sunset with him. 
 
 I promise I'm not some insane ex-girlfriend. I would never actually do anything to harm his relationship, because it would kill me to do anything that might make him unhappy. But it's still so hard not to feel jealous, and not to hate someone who is so manipulative. Especially when she takes something you **need**. 
 
 That's why I packed up the picture last night. And why I'm driving to his house right now. Because as long as I have that picture, I know I'll hold onto hope that he might eventually choose me. All of the other gifts, the love tokens gathered over a period of building a life together, are fine. They serve a purpose. But the picture is only useful as a reminder of what I've lost. And the only reason I would keep it is if I held onto hope for a future where we're together. I still love him, and I believe that he still loves me, but he's made his choice. So I'm choosing to give the picture back, not because I do n't love it or him, but because I love them both too much. 

