[ WP ] A plane carrying all 17 Republican Presidential nominees crashes over the ocean . All survive uninjured , but are marooned on an island . Chris Christie has found the conch .

`` Oh magic Conch Shell, will we make it off the island?'' The New Jersey governor pulled the string. 
 
 `` Maybe someday.'' The conch replies. 
 
 `` The conch has spoken!'' Chris bellows, eyes crossed. 
 
 `` All hall the magic conch!'' All the nominees chant, bowing. 
 
 Except for one. 
 
 Donald Trump. 
 
 `` Heh. Magic Conch.'' Trump scoffs. `` Praising a false Godess wo n't give you anything.'' 
 
 Chris gasps. `` Donald! What did you say?'' 
 
 `` I say what I mean and I mean what I say.'' Trump turns away. `` That conch is nothing more than a fraud!'' 
 
 Everyone else gasps. 
 
 `` Oh magic conch, what should we do now?'' Chris pulls the string. 
 
 `` Nothing.'' The conch answers. 
 
 `` All hall the magic conch!'' The group besides Trump sits. 
 
 `` Nothing? At ca n't sit here and do nothing!'' Trump scowls. 
 
 The others do n't answer him. 
 
 `` Grrrrrrrrrr! I have to get back homes and count my money!'' Trump whines. 
 
 But they did n't answer. 
 
 `` I said...'' Donald Trump ton a deep breath. `` I HAVE TO GO HOMES AND COUNT ME MONEYS!'' 
 
 They did n't budge. 
 
 `` Fine, if you want to sit here and talk to some stupid piece of plastic, go ahead!'' Trump stormed off. 
 
 Once on the other side of the island, he took a giant fossil out of his pocket. 
 
 `` Oh mighty Helix... Show me the way homes....'' Trump held the Helix Fossil to his ear. 
 
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