[ WP ] You are a demon who was chosen to blend in with humanity and collect souls . What you do n't know is you specifically were chosen because you are n't very good at being a demon and Hell did n't want to deal with you anymore . You room with a necromancer who goes by the name Dave . He is annoying .

`` That useless, lazy fucking arsehole'' 
 
 It was bad enough working the nightshift at the hospital but when you come back to a flat which stinks of rotting corpse and sulfur and your useless roommate who concocted this mess has fucked off to his pit then you start to contemplate your own existence. 
 
 `` What have I done to deserve this? What could I possibly have done to be stuck with this prick?'' 
 
 It's been nearly two years since I was sent upstairs, they all congratulated me on my big promotion, saying that `` You'll have a great time, just try not to kill too many of the primitives'' or `` It'll be the start of a new adventure''. 
 
 Bollocks. 
 
 Do n't get me wrong, there are far, far worse places that I could have been sent to than Scotland, I mean the primitives here are fascinating to watch and to be truthful, I have made, what is it they call them, oh yeah `` friends''. 
 
 I suppose my disguise is n't too bad either, I mean I prefer working in the hospital, collecting the souls of those near-death is far easier than taking an unwilling one though I always took shit for that downstairs, they said it was `` fitting'' for a demon to prefer taking the nearly-dead than a ripe, living one but something about the idea just put me off, might be the blood and screaming. 
 
 The seniors said that I was the best suited for the job and that after three years, they'd review my work and see if there was a position available back downstairs but I'm starting to think they've forgot about me, I only get updates every couple of months and they're just generic `` Great job, keep it up'' type messages. 
 
 That said, Dave has turned out to be an annoying little prick since I've arrived. He started out as my `` liaison'' of sorts, I mean necromancers are one of the few primitives which can communicate with downstairs and they are trusted to help demons that move upstairs to work. 
 
 He leaves rotting human remains around the house, the few `` successes'' he's had all ended up wrecking some part of the flat, the last one managed to rip the sink out of the bathroom and he eats everything, and I mean everything and never replaces it. 
 
 I lived with an Incubus and Succubus for a year back downstairs and even they, the sex-crazed animals they are, were less of a nightmare to live with than him. 
 
 `` I just want to have my dinner and then go to my bed'' 
 
 Reaching into the fridge, I take my leftover dinner from the shelf only to be met with a yellow post-it note with `` Sorry, I'll replace it'' written on it. 
 
 `` I'm going to ram this plate so far up his arse that he'll be tasting it for weeks''
