[ WP ] You discover that Earth is the `` North Korea '' of the galaxy

I was just camping, man. Just me and the ground and the stars and the fire. I was in the middle of an old wash with high red cliffs on either side that made the light from my fire dance with shadows older than me. I was contemplating the quiet, pierced only by the shrill cough of a coyote occasionally, when I heard a *tink* on the cliff wall to my west. 
 
 It was an unusual sound. Heavy aluminum against sandstone-like *tink*. Not normal for this backcountry bivouac. I scoped it out. 
 
 There, caught on a large boulder balanced, was a semi-deflated balloon attached to a shimmering bag. I approached with some caution, not much, but some. In the bag was a smartphone. 
 
 I had to turn it on. 
 

