[ WP ] A young boy does everything to impress his crush , but it 's not easy impressing an 18 year old when you 're only six .

Liza was the coolest girl this side of the duck pond. She had hair the exact same color as mud and a face like a tree frog. I liked her more than Anakin liked Padme, and he married Padme so I was gon na marry Liza someday too when I'm tall. 
 
 Dad always starts laughing when I say that but I ca n't expect too much from somebody who married mom. Mom eats broccoli and likes dumb movies. Liza likes Star Wars and not broccoli. I know who is cooler. 
 
 Anyways, we had a neighborhood barbecue thing yesterday, which was stupid because I had to wear a shirt without pictures and mom said I could n't get my clothes dirty or people would think I was an orphan. I do n't get it, but last time I sassed her I lost the iPad for a day, so I know better now. 
 
 So, the barbecue. Liza was there and she was wearing a Star Wars shirt and I love star wars. And she's big enough that nobody can boss her to not wear shirts with pictures, and I told mom that, and mom said when I'm 18 I can wear shirts with pictures too but right now I'm 6 and I got ta listen and I said that was stupid and she put me in time out. But time out was okay because Liza was sitting by the time-out tree. 
 
 I got put in time-out three more times so I could talk to her while mom could n't see my face behind the tree! 
 
 But then this big dumb ugly guy wearing a Star Wars t-shirt walked up and kissed her! Kissing is gross and I thought Liza was cool and would n't like that so I told him so and then he laughed. And I said Star Wars was for cool kids and he laughed more and said he guessed he was a cool kid too so I walked away and stomped my foot all scary and he laughed more and so did everyone but mom who sent me to my room for time out. 
 
 But then I got the best idea! I got my blue Anakin Skwalker light saber and my Jedi cloak and snuck downstairs and then I kneeled down in front of Liza like the people in the gross movies mom likes do, because if you do that and tell them to marry you they got ta say yes, it's the rules. 
 
 And I said that! And I said I liked her like princess Padme and she should marry me and not the stinky t-shirt guy and then everybody laughed! And I told them I was very very not joking and they laughed more. 
 
 Then the stinky man stole my idea, he kneeled down but he had a box and not a light saber and she yelled all happy when she saw the stupid ring in the box and so o ran up and I ate the ring and I do n't have a good reason but mom got pretty mad and I do n't think Liza likes me anymore. 
 
 But there's this nurse lady at the ER who looks a whole lot like Nurse Joy from Pokemon...
