[ WP ] The weirdest suicide note ever

I was literally hanging around in the forests of Gua Musang. My skin paler than ever, my vains protruding as a sign of decompose from the inside, rigor mortis setting in two days ago. And on my dead body, a note was hanging from my right jeans pocket. It was n't read until a hiker found me lifeless. 
 
 `` To whoever who reads this, you could see that I'm dead. Whether you are a boong, a hiker, a random truanting kid, Bill Gates or whoever, I do n't care. And you may be smelling crap and piss. That's because I think I held it for a bit too long. And by now you would think that I'm a douche by leaving an english suicide note in a Malay dominant area. I seriously have no idea why I just did that but whatever. 
 
 I hung myself because of my internet lagging a tonne while I was playing DOTA. LoL players may drop this letter and get a heart attack but that is of no concern. You may take the keys to my Bugatti from my left pocket. The car is about twenty metres away from me. I am too damn rich for that. You may also take the Burmese coke I smuggled from Thailand the other day from my backpack along with the SMG. Have fun assassinating the Prime Minister. 
 
 Your random dead guy, 
 Luke''
