[ WP ] A man orders a `` cheese pizza with no crust '' from a local pizza delivery joint as a joke . Unbeknownst to him , that pizza joint is a drug front and he just placed an order for a kilo of cocaine .

It was almost closing time on Tuesday that had crawled by. I was sweeping up the dining room when the phone rang. I groaned and slumped over, `` D'Angelo's, this is Tony, what can I get you?'' 
 
 I hear a snicker on the other side of the line and the worst fake nerd voice, perhaps ever, `` Um yes, \*snicker\* I'd like to order a cheese lovers pizza with no crust.'' I jot the order down on a note pad, `` no crust, you sure?'' The voice comes back across the hand set, `` yes, no crust. I need it delivered to 123 4th Avenue, A.S.A.P.,'' the nasal voice and the fake sounding address pissed me off even more than the late order. `` We'll get it right out, cash only,'' and I hang up the phone, `` Yo, boss! We got ta big one, came in late. Cheese lovers, no crust!'' I hear a splutter and ragged cough from the back as my boss, Ricky, chokes on his water, `` That much? This late?! It's got ta be a setup, where's it going?'' 
 
 `` 123 4th Avenue, sounded fake to me but I'unno, all the runners went home like about an hour ago, want me to call back and cancel it?'' I offered up hopefully as he walks to the front of house, `` It's late, you got ta pregnant girlfriend to get to before your wife finds out and I hear a bar calling my name... We can do it in the morning, it's a Tuesday...'' 
 
 `` Tony...'' Ricky says slowly as he slaps the side of my neck, `` We're grown ass men, we can do a run! It'll get some excitement in our bones, we're getting old and boring!'' I grinned and shook my head to hide my disappointment but deep down, I knew he was right. Most days we would move maybe half a key all day to some regulars, sell some actual pies to some broke college age kids, pay off a couple crooked detectives and close up shop. And we were THIS close to the final step when the damn call came in. 
 
 So off Ricky goes, whistling some old song as he pulls a triple beam from under the counter top of the kitchen. `` Did he say cheese or cheese lovers?'' he asks as he crouches down and sets a brick of coke on the counter much you're average person would a bag of flower and rummages around for a bag of b12. `` Lovers, apparently he's throwing an expensive ass party,'' I stare out the window, it had started to drizzle. `` Well no need for all this, quit staring a hole in my windows before you have to buy me a new one, let's go!'' Ricky had let himself get excited, it had been awhile since he had been on the streets actually moving product, he had long moved up from the role of dough boy. I personally liked to work the phones and the cash register, it allowed me to make use of my favorite two words, `` plausible deniability.'' See, as long as I kept my nose clean, literally and figuratively, took orders, and never touched the product, I could try and get off on a lighter sentence. Yet here I was, hopping in my bosses car with enough yay to send us both to jail for a long time. 
 
 `` 123 4th Avenue, right?'' Ricky asks as the Mustang growls to life and he begins punching in the address. `` You got it, if it's even a...'' I trailed off as the GPS announced that it was calculating the root and that we should get there in fifteen minutes, `` Guess it's legit.'' And away we go, weaving through traffic until we pull up outside the small, surprisingly normal looking house. `` Do n't look like a millionaire, or a trap house,'' Ricky says in a hushed tone as he scans the street, `` Go ring the bell!'' 
 
 \*knock knock\* 
 
 `` Pizza delivery!'' I shuffle on my feet a little as the breeze blows cold rain drops against me, I reach up to knock again but before my hand meets the door, it swings inward to reveal a little old lady. `` Can I help you, deary?'' her voice sends me back to my childhood and my own grandma baking cookies for me after school. `` I think I have the wrong address, ma'am, I'm sorry to disturb you,'' I turn on my heels to wall away when she interrupts, `` No crust cheese lovers? My grandson is such a joker, I heard him on the phone earlier. I guess he did n't think you deliver,'' she pauses to laugh at her own joke. `` Come in out of the rain and I'll go get him.'' 
 
 I look back at the car parked on the street and shrug, Ricky motions for me to follow grandma inside. 
 
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 `` Oh, be a dear and take off your shoes, wo n't you? I do n't wan na mess up my carpet,'' the old lady asks sweetly as she disappears down a hallway, `` Jonny! You have a pizza to pay for!'' 
 
 I glance around the living room, the place looks legit enough, there's pictures of grand kids plastered across the walls and mantel, plastic cover on the couch and an `` oriental'' rug under the coffee table, so I slide out of my shoes and take a quick seat on the edge of the couch cushion. `` He'll be right up, sweetie, make sure he gives you a tip!'' She says cheerfully and disappears back down the hall, to bed I guess. 
 
 `` Uh... Who are you?'' 
 
 Are you fucking kidding me. A kid in his late teens. A child. Barely old enough to have hair on his nuts. Probably still in high school, maybe a freshman in college. There's no way. `` Tony, from D'Angelo's. You ordered a pizza about twenty minutes ago. You wan na go outside to do this?'' The kid is practically shaking in his socks, `` Look, man, it was just a prank call, I did n't think you would actually make a pizza with no crust...'' A prank?! And he was dumb enough to use his real address? Dammit, Ricky is not gon na like this. `` Put your shoes on, kid, we're taking a quick walk, you're gon na have to explain this to someone else.'' 
 
 So I drag the kid outside in his pajamas, I see Ricky's face go blank from the moment I step out. `` Who the fuck is this?! What's your name kid?'' Ricky is staring straight into this kids soul. `` Jonny... Jonny Hughes,'' the kid stammers nervously, `` Look, it was just a prank like I told the other guy, I'm sorry for wasting your time, I can pay you for the pizza?'' Ricky glances at me, I shrug again and then he looks at the kid. I've seen that look before, we're about to have another employee at the pizzeria. `` Jonny, you did n't order a pizza. Look, take a seat in the car. Tony, you'll have to stand in the rain, my condolences,'' I brush it off as the kid nervously opens the door. `` You're not gon na kill me or anything are you? I did n't mean to do anything wrong, I was just bored... I'm really...'' Ricky held up a hand to stop the boys rambling apology and reaches into the back for the bird. `` This,'' Ricky shakes the brick in Jonny's face before dropping it in his lap, `` is what you ordered. A kilo of pure white. About twenty-five thousand on the street level. And you owe me exactly that much.'' Ricky holds up another hand as the kid tries to start talking again, `` You very well may not have that much money but that's how much you owe me. We can do this one of two ways, both will leave you no worse for wear. Option one, you can take the brick on credit, do whatever you got ta do, bring me my thirty thousand next week. Five thousand for interest, naturally.'' Jonny looks about as white as the brick of coke in his lap, he swallows hard, `` Naturally.'' Ricky fits a small grin across his lips, `` OR option two, you come work for me. You work until you pay off the debt. I pay hourly, for each delivery, and I pay well so it wo n't take you as long as you're thinking and naturally the harder you work, the quicker you're done. At the end of our agreement, we can work out the details if you wish to continue your employment.'' 
 
 You can see the kid mulling this over in his head, trying to hide his nerves from either of us, `` Is there any other option?'' Surprise smacks Ricky right across the face, `` You got balls, kid, I'll give you that. Yeah, there's another option. Tony here gets a bat out of the trunk and goes back inside your sweet little grandma's house, he busts some stuff up, steals her jewelry, maybe he knocks her around a little, maybe he does n't, he's had a long day so he probably would. But what really is important is you have to watch all of this, and when we're done we will tell her exactly why we were there. Oh, and you'll still owe me money.'' 
 
 Jonny used to be white, now he was translucent, `` I do n't know anything about selling drugs... I never hung out with those kinds of people... No offense meant, you seem like a really honest guy.'' Ricky gave a dry laugh and I shook my head slowly, `` We try to keep it wrapped up tight at the pizzeria, you may not even have to ever handle product, we do have some legitimate business, but you will have to work. Understood? I'll see you tomorrow, 4 o'clock. Tony, get the kid a shirt out of the back, we got ta roll.'' 
 
 The trunk pops open, the kid gets out of the car, pouring thanks on Ricky like a waterfall, `` You'll do fine, kid, just do n't do anything stupid,'' he replies nonchalantly. `` Stay on his good side,'' I warn Jonny as I lift the trunk, `` I'll swing by tomorrow around 3:30 to pick you up, be ready.'' I hand him a large t-shirt, `` D'Angelo's Pizzeria,'' it says in big print across the front, and on the back it has our phone number and a short slogan, `` Chicken wings so good your lips go numb.'' 
 
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 Literally my first time ever doing this, we'll see how I did!
