[ WP ] You are a compulsive liar . Convince me you are not .

Oh great, you're also giving me *that* look. 
 
 Lem me guess, they told you that I `` lie,'' as they do for everyone else. I hope you noticed that I put quotation marks around `` lie,'' as it is n't true. Those guys just do n't like me, so they spread this crazy rumor around. It is n't even witty. 
 
 Trust me. 
 
 Oh? Those girls also told you the same thing? They told you that I told them that I work in this one shop? Did they even tell you the shop name? Where it's located? What size building it's in? The color of it's door? Did they even *tell* you the important stuff? 
 
 No? See, that's what I mean. People are just attempting to spread lies about me. Now, I can see it in your eyes. They have the same glazed-over look that everyone has. `` This guy just spits acid out'' is what your eyes are telling me right now. 
 
 Ah? Did you just glance away? Do n't want me to see that look of hatred you're giving me right now? Nope, too late. Do n't even pretend I did n't notice. No, no, no. Stop it, do n't act taken aback. 
 
 What do you mean, you `` actually are n't?'' 
 
 Trust me, you are. It's not the physical actions that you're giving off. It's on a subconscious level. You have so much spite towards me, such an unfathomable amount, that you do n't even consciously realize it. See that tiny glint in your eyes right now? 
 
 Oh. Wait. You ca n't see your eyes. Whoops, forgot about that. Either way, the signs have already been given off. You know those `` micro-expression-thingys'' that people have been talking about. 
 
 What you mean you have n't heard about them! Everyone has! Seriously, come on dude, catch up with the times. Here, here, lem me show you. See? Right there, on my phone. `` People can show tiny, very tiny, expressions that show their true emotions.'' 
 
 What do you mean that I flashed my phone too fast. There was n't even a glare! Seriously! Are you feeling okay? Here, come with me real quick. I know this secret concoction that'll help with headaches. It involves some drug called Teelenal, and Eyebuprufen. Here, come with me. 
 
 Seriously, trust me.
