[ WP ] Write a murder from the perspective of a cheerful inanimate object

Y'know, life's been good. At least, I think so. We met at the grocery store some three or four years ago while she was shopping with her mother. And just the way she looked at me! Boy, I felt like the one. Just like that, she took me home and we've been together since. 
 
 We've cooked so many dinners together as she caressed me by my end. A firm, but respectable grip around me, guiding me along. I could dice up a tomato up in no time! Mother would be proud, the great steely woman that she is, wherever she is. 
 
 It's been grand, really. Although the past few days seem rather... still? Is it me? Nah, could n't be! Ever since that strange boy came over and they had a game of wrestle-wrestle that is. At first, I was jealous. Hey! It's dinner time, have you forgotten? You've picked up the onions, carrots and even remembered to defrost the beef today. 
 
 And then it was as if the boy heard me. So, he picked me up and invited to play. Now, I have n't played this game before mind you, but I reckon I've been pretty good at it! The boy's quite a vigorous sport as well, but what a terrible aim! This was far more exciting than exchanging words with the chopping board every other night! There was a lot of shouting, I suppose we know who's winning then! 
 
 Ah! I considered myself lucky to taste her. Not quite beef, maybe pork? A little like it, but subtly different. I tasted her again and again, and we were winning! Mm. She might go well with a bit of apple, I think. A pity she did n't reach for the frying pan, he might have given her a chance! 
 
 We won and she'd gone to sleep. The boy looked far from tired, but I suppose it was time for him to go home. So now it's just us again, and she still has n't prepared the carrots, or the tomatoes, and I'm pretty sure that she's forgotten about the beef. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.
