[ WP ] Try to convince me that E is the best letter without using the letter E

Wow, cowvin and'gab' of posts adjoining this! I think both wordsmiths did an OK job - but I do n't favour taking that approach too far, for'Y' is just a quisling daring to stand in sounding positions among or following consonants, too much akin to this thing Duckniggits asks us to avoid all using of, and so its utilisation is an invalid solution. 
 
 For this man's part, I'll avow how that upright, brick-solid, right-branching form with its two main pronunciations - a sound imitating trains stopping at a siding, or in various short words that of a cupboard door swinging a bit ajar ( also a grunt known to phonologists as'schwa' ) - though it is of origins unknown and unsung ( barring this frantic missal ) still, as statistics confirm, this obvious non-participant in an ambitious digital author ’ s scrawl is ubiquitous and most popular of all its non-vocal-friction-involving siblings, without which a million gaps drop into all talk and print. Its loss would bring so much havoc that to do without it would in fact harm thought; such a strict ban also stands to limit to nigh-on sod-all what thoughtful sorts from London to Toronto could discuss about its own actual going into oblivion! 
 
 In rushing to join such a discussion now, I'm afraid that, just as might an ill-struck match, such poor imagination as that inspiring this post lights up at first, and now turns black, is all charcoal in a flash, sagging.... Oh what to do without input from this vital, fifth switch of our standard bank of linguistic signs? How to disarm Duckniggits of his doubts as to such a conundrum's solving: Is it right to hold this squarish ( or, if not standing as capital, small and spiral, sort of huddling ) figuration of ink as bound for topmost rank; as first of all roman icons; as prior ( in an abstract fashion I'll admit ) to A, B, C and D? Hmm. I now know, having put all this down, that rumination aloud on our topic of frivolous constraints against holistic writing is – alas - too tough a task for humankind to maintain for paragraph on paragraph. 

