[ EU ] You live in Skyrim . It is your job to keep lit all the candles in the abandoned caves and dungeons and castles .

So I'm assuming you've heard about the Psijic Order, right? Of course you have, any adventurer worth their frost salts has. Some might say they are the strongest, smartest, most clever mages to ever walk Tamriel. They'd be wrong for that assumption, however. I used to be a member. That is, until I was recruited into a much more powerful order, known as the Codick Order. We control the very fabric of being. Time and space bend to our will; it is our duty to see to it that everything does exactly what it is supposed to do. 
 
 The water, flowing the direction it flows. The sound it makes. The plants growing alongside the water. The way the light is affected by the water, the foliage, and the time of day. The creatures and denizens that inhabit that specific area. The way they act. All of this is in our control. 
 
 We even interact directly with how one adventurer communicates with another. 
 
 But for all the goings on in the outside world, we often think of the wide, open spaces of Skyrim to be one of the easiest parts to keep operating smoothly. The most difficult part, by far, is the dungeons. 
 
 Why is it difficult? 
 
 Well aside from all the enemies, the dust, the sounds, the traps, and other little things? 
 
 Two words: 
 
 Fucking. Lights. 
 
 All those torches, candles, chandeliers, `` cracks'' in the ceiling, even some spells that have no business giving off light, such as frost spells. Who keeps up with that? Me. I'm on light duty. 
 
 In our order, light duty is basically the hole. You did something wrong, and now you're being reprimanded. 
 
 What did I do? Oh, nothing to big. I just... Got a little lazy, is all. You know, sometimes people slip up. It's what we do. It's how we know we're normal. So what if a few draugr had some seizures? Plus it's not like that bear DID N'T want to go to space, right? Does n't everyone want to fly? 
 
 I mean I suppose the worst part was freezing time and then blacking out the entire world, and having to revert time to a previous point, but I hear that happens often enough that our order is n't as surprised by it like they used to be. 
 
 Back to the lights though. 
 
 They are n't permanent. They are n't effortless. Everything else is done as if it's second nature to us. We do n't have to do anything but concentrate. It just works. The lights are the only part of this job that is done manually. The lights can and will go out. And the millisecond they do, I relight them. The worst ones are the torches in frozen, windy caves. They are in a constant limbo state of being lit and going out. Talk about a headache. And the cracks and other light sources? They are n't really cracks. It's a small space with a torch in it, that we put a glass filter over to simulate sunlight. The spells? That's fake light too. And those mages, they think they're so skilled, casting all those spells as quickly as they can. I have half a mind to erase their items from existence, or move half of their body through a wall or the floor, or collide them with a block of cheese that launches them into the ceiling so hard, they break their neck... 
 
 But I guess things like that are what got me in the hole in the first place, right? 
 
 Hopefully I'll get out soon, I just need to kiss the rear of our Grand Master, Godd Howard. 
 
 Not like it'll be difficult to do anyways. Do n't get me wrong, I'm as strait as strait can be. But that has to be the most beautiful Imperial I have ever seen... 
 
 I should probably get back to my job. The dragonborn just got a quest to go look at a wall. The wall happens to light up. Woooooo I love my job ( someone kill me please ).
