[ WP ] You are a fat , lazy sitcom dad who is n't very bright . One day you decide to change all that and soon people from the network show up commanding you to change back .

Yesterday was the day, I felt it within me, as deep as the very marrow of my bones; yes, today—Today, I ’ m going to make the change. I woke up on the couch, same as every Saturday: Miller lite cans on the ground. Chips on my shirt. Orange fingered, I took the remote, switched from the normal infomercials to news. No, no one else is going to clean this mess up for me today. I went to the kitchen and brought the recycle can to the living room to fix the damage I ’ d done the previous night. Cans put away, empty bags into the trash. 
 
 The dog stirred. With a whistle, we both went to the front door. The sun was just coming up as I went into the driveway to pick up the paper. God, it was so quiet. And… still. Why the hell didn ’ t I try to make the effort to enjoy this time of day more often? After Jimmy finished wiping his feet after a quick lawn shit, we both headed back into the house. 
 
 Walking up the stairs, these same stairs I seldom make the effort to go up anymore. Why? Family pictures on the wall. Past vacations. Holidays. Julie & I, in the older photos, close together. More recently, apart. Going from being a single unit above our children to the periphery of the photos. From “ look at our happy family ” to “ yes, here we are. ” Click, move along. How long had it been that way? Just moving along? 
 
 All of the kids, asleep. God, in 4 years, they ’ ll be gone. Or, Jack will be moving back in. Damn economy. Half the neighbors ’ kids have moved back in with them. It ’ s bound to happen with at least one of ours. 
 [ to be continued ] 

