[ WP ] God is a redditor and it turns out your karma decides whether you go to heaven or hell .

`` Of course, today marks another anniversary of me taking on the name of my late predecessor. Thank you all for being here. I will repeat my story once again, especially for those who are newer here. I mean you Alex, yes I am looking at you.'' 
 
 The speaker smiles and points to a face in the crowd. He pretends to act nervous and hides himself. This creates uproarious laughter from the crowd. The speaker continues. 
 
 `` I would post things simply to get a reaction out of people for as long as I could remember. All the circle-jerking and people posting popular statements simply reinforced my desire. Bernie Sanders would make a great president, building the wall that Trump proposed was the best decision ever made, and praise for China as being the foremost nation of activists towards human rights; these were the popular comments that everyone tended to make. All these clowns were just posting replies on up-voted comments in order to get their name out there. I finally died of old age in the year 2043. The man upstairs asked if it was all worth it. I told Him that it was the only way I could function wholeheartedly with peace of mind...'' 
 
 
 
 The speaker goes on to elaborate on his most hated controversial statements. Laughs and cheers are plentiful in the audience. His speech finally finishes. 
 
 
 
 
 `` I just wanted to thank all of the massive supporters who agree that I have done better in the office formerly held by Satan. Thank you all for coming. I could n't do it without you.''
