[ WP ] `` God '' is actually two people : one who is omnipotent but not omniscient , and the other who is omniscient but not omnipotent . They both hate each other .

`` You're fucking it up for everyone, Nigel.'' 
 
 Blanche paced back and forth across the skydeck, counting on her fingers. She moved in staccato bursts, a vapour of pure consciousness. She was furious. 
 
 `` It's all going to hell. The secularists are gaining traction down there. There's atheists crawling out from under the pews like smug cockroaches. The agnostics do n't even know how to spell agnosticism.'' 
 
 Nigel laughed and slipped further into the jacuzzi. Two naked mermaids laughed with him, stroking his gratuitously oiled pecs. His black hair fell in wet sheets over his shoulders. 
 
 `` Babe,'' he said, blowing bubbles at Blanche as condescendingly as possible. `` I've got it under control.'' The mermaids tittered again. Blanche eyed their exposed breasts and wondered what they would look like filleted and served up with lemon. 
 
 Tearing her eyes away from the scaled horrors, Blanche glowered at Nigel. `` You're doing the opposite of fixing it. You're driving right into the arms of empirical evidence and scientific method.'' 
 
 Nigel whined. `` I'm punishing them for it. Get off my back, Blanche. It's the Sabbath. The day where you chill and have fun. You might have observed people having fun once.'' 
 
 Blanche flushed and left the deck, returning quickly with a stack of plastic-coated files. She read the headings aloud one by one, tossing them viciously at the black-haired man and his haughty mermaid entourage. 
 
 `` Child cancer,'' Blanche spat. `` Malaria. Radical terrorism, in our name. Slavery and human trafficking. Climate change. School shootings.'' She threw the whole armful at Nigel, ignoring his shrieking protests and full-frontal nudity as he scrambled from the water. 
 
 `` They deserve every bit of it,'' Nigel snarled, grabbing for a towel. He wrapped it around his hips, waving at the mermaids in dismissal. `` They're blasphemous, ungrateful and greedy. It's these damn Millennials. Is it so much to ask for a goat every now and then? For some old-fashioned prostration? An occasional virgin?'' 
 
 `` They're asking the same of us,'' said Blanche quietly. `` They're asking what happened to miracles.'' 
 
 Nigel stared at her impassively. He popped the cork from a bottle of ambrosia and took a long draught. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand. `` They do n't deserve miracles.'' 
 
 Blanche closed her eyes. The vapour that was her corporeal approximation wavered. 
 
 `` There's a boy,'' she said, with her eyes still closed. `` He's sitting in the window. There's shouting in the next room. His mother and his step-father. They've been this way ever since the accident that killed his sister. He wishes it had been him. He wants to go after her, but he's scared.'' 
 
 `` Then he's a coward,'' said Nigel. `` He should jump. He'll be back bullying his sister in no time, fighting over the iPad and telling her Joe does n't want her because she's fat.'' 
 
 `` Fix this one thing,'' said Blanche, opening her eyes. `` Prove there are still miracles, or we're going to lose it all. They're going to lose it all.'' 
 
 Nigel sighed. His shoulders dropped. He pressed his palm against his head. 
 
 `` This one thing?'' he said resignedly. 
 
 `` It's the smallest decent thing you could do,'' said Blanche. 
 
 Nigel straightened his shoulders. He cracked his neck. He closed his eyes and stretched his hands out in front of him. The air around his palms began to shiver and hum. Then, with a wave, Nigel dismissed the raw power and sent it spiralling to the Earth below. Blanche held her breath. Nigel looked at her, spent and vulnerable. Then, he cackled. 
 
 `` You bastard,'' Blanche whispered. `` You made him fall out of the window.'' 
 
 `` It's beautiful,'' said Nigel, wiping his eyes through the laughter. `` Poetic.'' 
 
 `` His parents have lost everything.'' Blanche was appalled. Not at what Nigel had done - she expected that from him - but that she had pushed him to doing it. 
 
 `` His parents have n't been to Church since 1967. This is justice, babe. They'll come crawling back to us soon enough. Have a little faith.'' 
 
 `` You know,'' said Blanche. `` I do n't think I do anymore.'' 
 
 And with that, the vapour that was Blanche snuffed out of existence. 
 
 Nigel took another swig of ambrosia.
