[ WP ] You are a professional pickpocket . You 've just picked someones pocket only to discover that the thing you have stolen is truly horrifying .

You know, when pickpocketing people in California, you usually see some rather average stuff in their pockets. Stuff like wallets, jewelry, or sometimes condoms for those naughty johns. Nothing like Portland where everybody for some freaking reason has something living in their pockets or an item from the 1970s. Though today, I think I may have screwed the world by accident after what I had stolen. It was an average night, and i decided to stay by the wealthier buildings, as most of the people there carry all their cash on hand. I saw some short fellow walk out of the building with a large suitcase, and he seemed extremely happy at the time. He almost seemed like to him nothing else in the world mattered except for the contents of the suitcase. I wait until there are no witnesses and whip out my knife to his gut. 
 
 `` Hands up!'' I scream, surprising the man. 
 
 `` I'll give my wallet and phone, just please, let me keep the suitcase sir. It's of great importance.'' The man replied, shaking in fear. 
 
 `` Not today, give me the suitcase too!'' I shout as I grab his belongings. At this point, the man is now crying his eyes out, pleading me to not take the suitcase. I grab the suitcase and hightail it out of there, bringing my new loot with me. With haste, I toss aside the wallet and phone, hoping to check them later, and attempt to open the suitcase. Upon opening the small suitcase, I notice that there is n't anything remotely valuable in the suitcase. In fact, there are only two items in there. A DVD of Shrek, and an Onion. 
 
 The smell of onions begin to fill the air...
