[ WP ] Area 51 does n't hide aliens , but a portal to Hell , that the government has been trying desperately to keep contained .

Why today? Why the fuck today? 
 
 I need space to think. Shit. Those goddamn blaring alarms are preventing any actual thought of what do next from helping me out of this situation. They're too loud, who decided alarms had to be so loud? Oh gross, I'm sweating bullets. The wet spot have almost formed a bridge from my armpit to my chest and it's totally disgusting, that's how bad this is. 
 
 I ca n't deny that undead Hitler is raising an army at the moment, I can see it clear as day on the monitor in front of me. It's not my fault though. Our two moronic guards left the film studio unguarded ( useful for faking UFOs and stuff ) and now Hitler has boarded himself up and is projecting his ugly face to all the undead and demons in Hell, inspiring vendetta against the living. 
 
 I am so fucking fired.
