[ WP ] You find out your mom has a twin sister and they have been both secretly switchig places all their life

`` Mom!'' 
 
 `` What?'' 
 
 `` Why are you turning left?'' 
 
 `` It's Wednesday, you've got soccer practice,'' she says. 
 
 `` Mom. Seriously. Are you getting early onset Alzheimer's? Because I went yesterday. They rescheduled because Coach Saunders had her baby.'' 
 
 Mom purses her lips and flips a U-ey at the next stoplight. It's always been a joke in our family how forgetful she is. But sometimes, after I get annoyed, I get worried. 
 
 `` So... home?'' she says. 
 
 `` Yeah,'' I say. 
 
 `` Why do n't we stop by the mall?'' she says. 
 
 `` I do n't want to go to the mall,'' I say. 
 
 `` Costco, then? I need to get some walnuts.'' 
 
 `` Get walnuts later, mom, I want to go home.'' 
 
 `` We're going to Costco,'' she says, and I want to complain - I've been at school all day. It's hard to expect to go home then suddenly switch gears and go to Costco instead. But she's got that look on her face and I know not to argue with her. Besides, there's a set of shelves at Costco that I've had my eye on - they'd look really cool and industrial in my room - and if they're on sale I bet I can get her to buy them for me. 
 
 Once we get in the store, I go off on my own. I ca n't stand following her around while she reads the ingredients on cartons of almond milk and tries on different athletic shoes. But when I see a display of winter coats, I decide to slide between them and hide in the center of the rack, like I did when I was a little kid. I know she'll be coming to look and it will be hilarious to jump out and scare her. 
 
 I scoot in past the coats, smiling at an old lady who glares at me. I only have to wait a few minutes for mom to show up. But before I can jump out I see her pull her phone from her pocket, and there's something about the way she looks around, all shifty eyed and suspicious, that makes me stay in my hiding place. 
 
 `` Dude!'' she says into the phone, in a voice that's more Aunt Kay than mom, `` why did n't you tell me about soccer practice? I looked like an idiot!'' 
 
 There's laughter and then they're talking about me. 
 
 `` That girl's got an attitude... well it's a little early, she's only 11! God, I know, the next few years are going to be a nightmare. Ok, yeah, so we'll be home in less than an hour so you've got to get back into your Aunt Kay clothes. We'll say you're babysitting. Fuck yes I still want to go to the concert tonight, are you kidding? Yeah, I wish you could come too. Too bad Darren's not back until tomorrow night. How about this, we'll come home and you'll `` surprise'' me with concert tickets, and I'll be like, silly Aunt Kay, I ca n't leave my kids alone, and you'll go, `` That's why I got a babysitter!'' You've got an hour. Try to get Kelsey, the kids love her. If not Kelsey, Gina. Ok. Yeah. No we're still at Costco, you've got time. hahahha dude fuck off, or there's no way I'm letting you go to Cabo next week. Cool, ok. Bah bye.'' 
 
 She walks away and suddenly I'm sweating in the coat rack. What the fuck was that? But it's actually pretty clear what the fuck that was. That was Aunt Kay, pretending to be my mom, talking to my mom, who will soon be pretending to be Aunt Kay, and they were both totally non-challantly chatting about switching places. And it's not *Aunt Kay* going to Cabo San Lucas next week, it's *mom*, and Aunt Kay is going to pretend to be mom for *a whole month? * 
 
 This I can not wrap my head around. 
 
 Or wait, is it the other way around? Is this mom here at Costco with me, pretending to be mom, and Aunt Kay is at home and when I get there she'll pretend to be Aunt Kay, so really it's Aunt Kay going to Cabo and Mom who'll be home when dad's home from his business trip? 
 
 Mind. Blown. I start to wrestle my way out of the coats. What the fuck is going on here? And since when does mom or Aunt Kay swear that much? 
 
 `` Oh, there you are,'' says the woman pretending to be my mom or who is my mom and sometimes pretends to be Aunt Kay, `` listen I still have n't been to the freezer section so we've still got a few minutes. Were the shelves on sale?'' 
 
 I stare at her, mute. 
 
 `` What, you do n't want them anymore? I cleared it with Dad, we can get them as soon as they're on sale.'' 
 
 `` *You* cleared them with *dad*?'' I say, and she nods, raising her eyebrows. 
 
 `` *You* cleared it with dad, the man you *married*?'' I say. 
 
 She gives me a puzzled smile and starts walking down the aisle. I tear down the aisle after her, get between her and the shopping cart, reach up, and yank on the mole on her neck - the only visible distinguishing difference between my mom and Aunt Kay. It comes off in my hand. A squishy little circlet of brown fleshy stuff. Aunt Kay makes a yipping sound then pushes her hand against the spot where I ripped the mole off. I take several slow steps back. 
 
 We stare at each other from either side of the aisle. 
 
 `` You're Aunt Kay!'' I say, suddenly very, very angry. 
 
 She grabs my hand and starts pushing the cart toward check out. 
 
 `` Wait, but if you're Aunt Kay, then *Mom* is going to Cabo? And you're going to stay with us for a month?'' 
 
 I stop, mid-aisle, and though she tugs on my arm I refuse to move an inch. 
 
 `` Oh my god, do you have sex with my dad?'' 
 
 She looks back at me, eyes wide with a look, like,'this is more serious than I thought.' 
 
 `` Of course not,'' she says, and I can tell by her tone that this is true. 
 
 She pauses, then goes on, and I do n't have the same certianty of truth about her next statement, `` Sometimes your mom gets sick of being mom so we switch places for a few hours, that's all.'' 
 
 But I notice she chokes on the word `` mom.'' She's abandoned the shopping cart and she's pulling me toward the exit. I do n't fight her, because suddenly my mind is filled with other thoughts. My older brother looks just like my mother. My older sister looks just like Dad. But me? I'm olive-skinned, and my eyes do n't match anyone else's. It's always been a family joke. That I was dropped off from another planet or that they found me in a field somewhere. 
 
 We step out into the heat of the parking lot and Aunt Kay or Mom folds me into the warmest, most familiar, comforting hug. I breathe in her smell, which, more than anything in the world means security and love. 
 
 `` Do you have any idea how loved you are?'' she whispers in my ear. 
 
 And though the following hours will be filled with deep discussions and vows of secrecy and tears and confusion, in that moment, I know this is true to my core. The love is real, and that's what matters. 

