[ WP ] The newspaper headline the next day read : `` Freak spatula incident leave 12 dead , 6 hospitalized . ''

( I'm doing this one because my friend's cat actually ate a spatula and had to have emergency surgery to get it out... ) 
 
 -- 
 
 Much later, as Linda sat in the hospital's waiting room, it occurred to her how quiet everything had been. 
 
 *What did you expect? * she asked herself. *Ticking? A comedy bomb with the letters TNT on the side? A hero to throw himself over it and diffuse the impact at the last second? * 
 
 No, not that. But something... something *believable. * 
 
 Anything but the memories she had... 
 
 8:19 am 
 
 Spatula City was open for business at 8 sharp, just like usual. Jacob Brewster had just rung up his first sale - half a dozen Oxos with silicone heads - when the call came in. 
 
 `` Hello?'' he asked. `` Spatula City, this is Jacob, how can I help you?'' 
 
 `` Do n't hang up,'' the voice on the other side replied. `` If you want to live, you will do exactly as I say.'' 
 
 -- 
 
 Several minutes later, Jacob was standing in the stockroom, staring up at a stack of boxes. They had just recently arrived and the boxes were, frankly, in bad shape. This was n't unusual, many of their items came from China ( like everything else ) and the long trip meant more than a few broken boxes, dented clamshells and the like. But this was different. 
 
 The boxes seemed to be bulging outward slightly. 
 
 He stared at them for a long time. 
 
 Then he shook his head to clear it and looked again. 
 
 The boxes looked normal. 
 
 Jacob blew out the breath he had n't been aware he'd been holding, and laughed a little. 
 
 `` Fuckin' prank callers,'' he muttered, and turned to leave. 
 
 He did n't see the nearest box suddenly bulge outward several inches. 
 He did n't see it begin to glow red, then white-hot. 
 
 As he reached the door of the stockroom, he realised his shoelace was untied. 
 
 It was the only thing that saved him from the sudden swarm of red-hot spatulas that flew at 6000 meters per second out of the now-pretty-obviously-exploding box. 
 
 -- 
 
 3:30 am 
 
 `` Linda Brewster?'' the nurse called. Linda stirred from her half-sleep and waved. 
 
 The nurse came over. `` I wanted to update you. Jacob is out of surgery, but it's still pretty rough. We'll need to keep him for a few days while we wait for the inflammation to go down. They want to rule out any nerve damage.'' 
 
 `` What happened?'' Linda asked. 
 
 `` Well, they removed several objects from his back and legs. They appeared to be plastic. There was also a long wooden object that we removed from his left buttock. It looked like- `` 
 
 `` - a handle,'' Linda finished. The nurse nodded. 
 
 `` How did you know?'' 
 
 Linda looked the nurse over carefully, and said, `` I think you'd better sit down...'' 
 
 

