[ WP ] He sees you when you 're sleeping . He knows when you 're awake . And Santa , low on funds to pay his elves , has begun selling his surveillance data to the NSA .

The two NSA agents looked with distaste at the sweating old man in front of them. The crazies this place attracted... 
 
 `` So. Mister... hm, Klaus,'' agent Matthews said, not bothering to hide his smirk. `` You say you have data of paramount national importance. Care to elaborate?'' 
 
 Nick patted the sweat from his forehead and tried to find a way to phrase it. He'd had a speech planned, but these people were so damn intimidating. He tried to remember what he'd overhead the elves say. What had driven him to travel all the way to this place. 
 
 *Can you imagine the money he could make if he sold all that stuff he has on the kids? * 
 
 Okay, he should n't say it quite like that, he should - 
 
 He was still thinking when someone knocked on the door. The agent opened the door to a grinning, three-feet tall figure clad in black. Nick felt a thrill of horror. 
 
 `` Kippie!'' he whispered, and the elf winked at him. The two humans merely looked befuddled and fell silent as Kippie snapped his fingers and approached the table. Nick felt his own muscles relax, and knew he would n't be able to get up from the chair until Kippie had said his piece - elven magic was strong stuff. 
 
 `` So, you made it all the way here. Well done, Nick,'' the elf said, beaming at him. `` You heard our idea! And now, you have a way to pay us. Is n't that splendid?'' 
 
 He glared at the little creature. `` You meant for me to hear you. Fine, yes, it's a good idea. I'll give you guys... some of the money.'' 
 
 Kippie narrowed his bright green eyes and wiggled a finger at him. `` Tell the truth now, Nick. You meant to cheat us again, did n't you? Keep paying us in moldy old cookies and squirrel away the funds, eh?'' 
 
 Nick felt an overwhelming urge to tell the truth. Blast it all. This far away from the North Pole, and low on lended power from the elves, he could n't stop the words from spilling out. 
 
 `` Fine, I did n't want to pay you,'' he grunted. 
 
 `` Well, I suggest you change your mind. Agree to our terms, and we'll make these gentlemen... open to negotiation,'' Kippie said pleasantly, nodding at the dazed humans. `` At the moment, they think you're nuts.'' 
 
 `` What do you want?'' Nick asked, stalling for time. He'd find a way to make it all work out. 
 
 `` Fair wages. *Money*. We're tired of being paid in cookies and happiness, old man,'' Kippie said, the smile fading from his face. He somehow managed to look menacing. 
 
 Nick was nodding reluctantly, when Kippie continued. 
 
 `` And we want to come along for the ride on the sled, sometimes. And have first pick of the *fresh* cookies,'' he said. 
 
 Nick laughed until his substantial belly shook. `` Do n't be ridiculous. Whoever heard of an elf on a sled?'' 
 
 Koppie's little face darkened. `` Fine. Why do n't you get take some time to... reconsider.'' 
 
 He waved a hand at the humans, and snapped his fingers at Nick. Again, that urge to tell the truth. Really tell the truth. Kippie shimmered into invisibility, smiling maliciously. 
 
 `` I know what all the little children of the world are doing, right now,'' Nick blurted out. `` I watch them all. I have that ability. Should I tell you? Right now, little Chrissie Andrews ca n't sleep, she's so excited at the thought of getting a puppy. I'll pay her a visit in the night soon. And eight-year-old Tom Barrow in Australia has been so naughty he wo n't get a visit from me for five years... and...'' 
 
 The humans looked at one another uneasily as the bearded man prattled on. There was an unmistakable ring of truth to his words. 
 
 `` You visited *who* in the night?'' Matthews asked. 
 
 The man babbled for hours, as the agents listened, discretely calling for backup. 
 
 `` You better come with us, sir...'' they said eventually, taking him firmly by the arm. 
 
 As he was led from the building, Nick spotted a smiling elf in the foyer, invisible to everyone else. 
 
 `` If they take me to prison, Christmas will be over! Do you hear me, Christmas will be over! What'll I do in there? Who will I be?!'' he roared at the elf. 
 
 `` Ho, ho, ho,'' Kippie winked at Nick, and started shimmering back to the North Pole. 
 
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 Hope you enjoyed my story! You can find more of my work on /r/Inkfinger/. 
 
 
 

