[ WP ] You are a lowly minion in a computer game . The hero has just completed a speed run , and you have to report to your boss and explain why you were spared , while so many of your comrades were slain .

“ It ’ s like I ’ m telling you, Sir. He just… left me. ” 
 
 I knew that none of my words could change anything at this point, but it was the truth. Xxmasterassassinxx had entered the Entrance Hall of the castle without opening the door, just *jumping through it*, jumping backwards on the nearest ledge and with another jump up on the next level. 
 
 I had seen this kind of behavior before. In all my years as the Main Guard in front of a room filled with collectibles, many players had left me standing there while killing all my friends who were guarding the fastest way to the top. But with the latest patch we had gotten a new boss, a calculating man from a faraway country. He wasn ’ t having any of this, so I took some freedom in explaining the happenings, hoping he hadn ’ t heard of the rapid progression of Xxmasterassassinxx. 
 
 “ Clearly, we ’ re dealing with a very powerful player here, Sir. Let it be my task to find this man and kill him with my own hands. I shall not rest before his head rests on a spike. ” 
 
 “ It seems like you haven ’ t heard of the newest changes around here, minion. We ’ ve been preparing for situations like this, ” he said, seemingly not interested in anything I had to say. “ You see, what are all these ‘ speedrunners ’ interested in anyway, huh? Let me tell you. All they care about is completing the game in the fastest way possible. Now you tell me, what do you think, what am I interested in? ” 
 
 I was sure that my answer to this question was a big factor in what the boss had planned for me, so I wanted to get it right. This job was everything I had, and I could n't afford to lose it. He didn ’ t leave me any time to think about it, though. 
 
 “ I ’ ll tell you what I care about. Gold. Wealth. This castle. These rare treasures in this room you ’ re guarding. So, you see… as long as we ’ re just letting them do what they ’ re doing, the way they ’ re doing it right now, we can all be happy. And that ’ s just great news, don ’ t you think? ” The smile on his face was one of greed, one of happiness. One of selfishness, and maybe, somehow… loneliness. 
 
 “ But, Sir… all of my comrades… they died, Sir. ” The boss seemed to have said everything he wanted to about the topic, but I wasn ’ t satisfied. “ Shouldn ’ t we do something about that? ” 
 
 For a second a look of confusion flashed over his face, and then he just laughed. 
 “ Well, of course we ’ ll do something about it. They ’ ll respawn. You see, these ‘ comrades ’ of yours aren ’ t actually the people you know and love. They ’ re just… copies. Clones, if you will. ” He took two steps in my direction to cover the last feet between us and put his hand on my shoulder. 
 
 And with an evil smile and a definite pleasure visible in his face, he added, “ And so are you, by the way. ”
