[ WP ] Every person in the world undergoes a `` goodness '' test . It 's designed to give a score from 1 to 200 , where 1 is pure evil , and 200 is an angel in human body . Then the world is divided into 200 zones , where people can live among their own kind .

I just got my test score today. I should have been shocked, upset, angry, or at least afraid. I ’ m not though. As usual I really don ’ t feel anything. 
 
 Getting a twelve was a bit surprising though. I guess sinning in the heart does count after all. I just thought everyone wanted to kill someone every now and then. I didn ’ t think it was that much of a big deal. It isn ’ t like I actually killed any of the dozens of people that irked me on any given week. 
 
 I just wanted to. It seems like that ’ s enough. I wonder how living in the teens will be like. I take a careful look at the neighborhood as I calmly walk from the monorail to my parent ’ s house. Everything was in perfect order. It ’ s all so goddamn boring. Every curb was painted, every weed was picked, every car washed, and everyone walking around with those fucking cow like complacent smiles. 
 
 I always did find those fucking smiles annoying. Hopefully people where I am headed don ’ t wish people to have a fucking blessed day everywhere you turn. 
 
 “ Happy birthday! ” I wince and then turn with a carefully practiced brain-dead smile. There was some old biddy grinning like an idiot at me. How did she know it was my birthday? Oh, I was still carrying my record of assessment. 
 
 “ Why thank you! ” I say in a well-rehearsed cheerful tone. 
 
 “ Oh how exciting! I remember my test day like it was yesterday. ” She said with a smile. Of course she did. Old fuckers remember everything like it was yesterday. God, I wanted to punch her in the face. 
 
 “ I bet your parents will be so excited! ” Oh, yeah… excitement will be one way to describe it. It was going to be a real shit-show. 
 
 “ Have you decided where you are going to live yet? I hear that Oak City has a lot of young people going there. They are going to expand the university even. I bet that a lot of nice girls will be there. ” I manage to keep my face pleasant. I guess there is no reason not to kick this old bitch in the pussy but I would like to at least see mom ’ s expression before the van pulls up to “ help me move ”. 
 
 “ Um… I really need to get home… ” The results are probably already reported and an arrest warrant is already printed. Bet Sheriff Andy is already on the way to my house. I wonder why they let me leave the testing center in the first place. I guess that twelves don ’ t pop up very often around here. 
 
 “ Ok, have a blessed day! ” Now there is something that I won ’ t miss. Good thing they are hauling me off. A year or two more of those “ have a blessed day ” and I would probably do something like what you hear about in history class. 
 
 I laugh. Bet it isn ’ t history where I am headed. 
 
 Oh Christ, Becky is running up with her test in hand. It feels like I just got punched in the gut. Becky, no matter how much I love her, is the last person I want to see today. I hadn ’ t even thought of her this afternoon. 
 
 Then again a twelve wouldn ’ t would he. 
 
 “ Um… hi Becky. ” She smiles and kisses me before I can react. 
 
 “ I got a 158! We can go anywhere! I can ’ t wait until we get married! ” Wow. Even I can feel bad it seems. Even though I did play along with the secret engagement so I could get some I had genuinely fallen in love with her along the way. A future with her was the only thing that made the looming split-ranch, white picket fence, and 2.5 children bearable. 
 
 “ So what did you get? I know it wasn ’ t a 158 you bad boy. ” She giggles and snuggles up to me. A married couple walks past and smiles at us. 
 
 Oh if Becky wasn ’ t standing right here I would rip their faces off. Becky pulls away from me slightly. She knows me too well. 
 
 “ What ’ s wrong? ” I look up into the entirely too blue sky. What do I do? Do I lie? Do I tell her what she wants to hear and then sneak her off to French kiss and have her bat my hands away from third base just a little too late one more time? Do I just disappear? 
 
 No. Fighting back real tears I hand her my results. Fortunately, the anguish pushes me hard enough that the little switch in my head flips and I thankfully feel nothing at all. 
 
 “ What.... ” She looks up at me with confusion and shock in her eyes. I feel nothing. 
 
 “ Yep. ” 
 
 “ How?... I don ’ t understand…. ” The tears start. The tears turn to anguished sobs. Oh Christ I ’ m feeling things again. I reach out to console her. 
 
 “ Don ’ t touch me! ” The words hurt more than anything ever has before. Why isn ’ t the switch flipping? Where is that fucking switch. I don ’ t want to feel this. 
 
 “ Becky…. ” 
 
 “ You…. You are a… “ She backs away. “ Were you lying to me? Were you using me? ” Now there was a question I had often asked myself. I ’ ve spent more than one sleepless night pondering that. Eventually I had come to a rather uncomfortable realization. I think lying to her would make things easier for her but she deserves the truth. I take a deep breath. 
 
 “ Becky. I ’ ve lied to everyone including myself most of my life. I ’ ve hidden that twelve for the last eighteen years. I didn ’ t know it was a twelve but I did know I wasn ’ t the same as everyone else. ” 
 
 A guy is coming up. His bovine eyes are filled with concern. I turn to face him. His bovine eyes widen for a moment and then he turns and walks away. Smart move. I turn back to Becky. 
 
 “ The one thing I haven ’ t lied about is how I feel about you. I love you. I am not sure if a twelve can feel the same love that a 158 can but whatever it is I love you. This… “ I wave my hand around. “ this place is hell for me. The thought of a nice little house and a nice little job and a nice little car makes me want to puke. But with you in my life it would have been ok. You would have made it all ok. You make me ok, or as ok as I can be anyhow. ” I step towards her uncertainly and reach out for her again and sigh with relief as she lets me wrap my arms around her. 
 
 We stand like that for a long time. Becky looks up at me and smiles. 
 
 “ Come on. I ’ ll walk you home. ” 
 
 “ Are you sure? ” 
 
 “ If you can ’ t walk me down the aisle at least walk me down the sidewalk. ” I feel that little switch in my head about to flip again. I fight it. I want to feel this. 
 
 “ Ok. ” 
 
 We walk hand in hand one final time. 

