[ TT ] You are a recently deceased detective . God took you early as he has need of you . For the first time ever , there has been a murder in heaven .

After twenty years on the force I was beginning to believe that nothing could surprise me anymore, but when it came to my death I was shocked. Twenty years and you would think making sure the safety of my gun was on would be second nature, but five days after my son's graduation I put my sidearm in my holster and I shot myself in the leg. I was rushed to the hospital but in the ambulance I took my last breath and closed my eyes for the last time, in the last seconds of life I remember feeling cheated and pissed that this was the way I was going out. I thought back to all the crazy scenarios me and my job have gotten myself into and I could n't believe that this was the way I was going out. Then the pain stopped and everything became bright. A formidable yet tender voice then spoke to me, 
 
 `` Hello Sam, Please forgive me for taking your life but your help is desperately needed.'' 
 
 `` Am I dead?'' 
 
 `` Yes because you are the most rootin tootin detective to ever exist and I need your help.'' 
 
 `` rootin tootin?'' 
 
 `` Sorry I just played a game of poker with John Wayne, he rubs off on you after awhile'' 
 
 `` Makes sense, so what do you need help with?'' 
 
 `` Come I'll show you'' 
 
 At that moment a giant escalator appeared shooting up into what looked to be clouds but if the clouds were made up of stars and pure light. He motions to me to get on and we start heading towards heaven. 
 
 `` That is astoundingly beautiful, but why an escalator?'' 
 
 `` It's in so many movies and shows I thought this would be an easy transition for people to realize that they are going to heaven, and it makes me laugh.'' 
 
 When we reach the top the whole place which was more beautiful than I can put into words was in disarray and every soul seemed to be in a panic. God looked around and then turned to me. 
 
 `` For the first time here we have a murderer on the loose and we need you to find the soul responsible.'' 
 
 `` How can someone be murdered in heaven?'' 
 
 `` Souls can live for eternity and most do but it is possible to destroy one, it just takes an extreme amount of energy, more than a supernova so I ca n't say I know how it could happen.'' 
 
 `` Whose soul was murdered?'' 
 
 `` Sadly Tupac was murdered again.'' 
 
 `` Man that guy ca n't seem to catch a break, can I see the crime scene?'' 
 
 I was then ushered to another cloud like structure with what seemed to be ash covering the ground as if a nuclear explosion was set off there.'' 
 
 `` Are there any witnesses?'' 
 
 `` No, we saw an explosion and then he was no where to be found.'' 
 
 `` Is there anyone that might have a grudge or a motive?'' 
 
 `` Not anyone dead at least.'' 
 
 `` And you do n't think Satan did it?'' 
 
 `` Are you kidding? the guy is an asshole but close to the biggest Tupac and hip hop fan I've ever seen, no way he would murder him twice.'' 
 
 `` He killed him in the first place?'' 
 
 `` Well indirectly I guess, I sure as hell did n't create Sug Knight.'' 
 
 I then went around asking everybody if they had any suspicions or ideas of who did this all the while just trying to find the one lying about their story. I narrowed it down to a couple suspects but everyone of them had a God backed alibi. An extensive amount of time went by and I was getting no where, no one wanted him dead and no one even saw it happen. My detective experience was telling me something was really off. I was just about to tell God that I had hit a brick wall in my investigation when I decided I wanted to check out his heavenly home one last time. As I looked around I noticed piles of papers with lyrics on them and a map with Cuba circled. Right at that moment his door swung open and out of no where Leslie Nielsen pops in, `` I just wanted to tell you good luck we're all counting on you.'' 
 Just like that he was gone and I went back to my investigation, everything seemed to show that Tupac was on his way to visit the land of the living again on Earth. I called for God and in an instant he was right next to me. 
 
 `` What is it my child, have you gotten close to who the perpetrator is?'' 
 
 `` Not exactly, is it possible to rejoin the living or at least visit the living again?'' 
 
 `` Well yes although it is forbidden, no one has had enough motive to leave such a brilliant place and the punishment for returning is too great for anyone to attempt it yet, you do n't think the murder was all a rouse so that he could prove fans right do you?'' 
 
 `` I'm actually starting to think that is what happened.'' 
 
 `` Absurd, he knows the consequences, if he goes back he will earn a one way ticket to hell the next time he dies.'' 
 All of a sudden a loud phone rings out of nowhere and god reaches into a cloud to pull up a rotary phone. 
 
 `` Hello?'' 
 
 `` Hey God it's me Lucifer, so have you heard the new Tupac album that just dropped?'' 
 
 `` Every time I give you more breathing room you pull this shit, what's the motive this time?'' 
 
 `` Oh come on big guy, you know I'm only evil because of the horns, you do n't know what it's like being looked at as the guy with the horns, it's humiliating. And well the world may enjoy Pac for a couple more decades but once he dies it's private concerts nightly in hell and there's nothing you can do about it.'' 
 
 `` That's where you're wrong, this time and this time only I will forgive Tupac and allow him back into heaven.'' 
 
 `` God you are a son of a bitch, I would grow 10 more horns instead of see you or your son's ugly faces again, see you when I do my next evil plan.'' Satan then hangs up and god, with a look of surprise turns back to me. It was quiet for a minute until I broke the silence. 
 
 `` So looks like nobody was murdered after all, well except for me to find the killer.'' 
 
 `` Ya... Sorry about that.'' 
 
 `` Any chance you can send me back to earth like Pac?'' 
 
 `` Sure if you want to go to hell after.'' 
 
 `` You know God, Satan kinda has a point, you are a son of a bitch.'' 
 he looked at me with enjoyment in his eyes and says 
 
 `` I know'' 
 

