[ WP ] Your boss keeps confusing his day job with his night job .


 “ Jon! ” my boss screamed from across the office. Everyone ’ s head perked up slightly above their cubicle and all eyes became fixed on my flushed face. “ I said, Jon! That means, get your ass in here, *now* ” he shouted again. Everyone sank back in their box and I hurriedly made my way to the boss ’ office. “ Close the door behind you ”, he said with his feet propped up on his desk. Normally, my boss was a force to be reckoned with – this man never had an off day, was clean cut, sharp, and rarely missed a step. But today he was different, something was troubling him. He didn ’ t have to say anything, I…everyone could tell something was deeply wrong. His usually carefully parted hair lay flat across his forehead, his tie askew from his bent collar, his pants were marked with dirt and grease, and his limp hand dangled from his armrest with a crystal glass of gin carelessly wavering over the floor. Most people figured him and his wife were arguing again or that we didn ’ t make our monthly quota. 
 
 Reluctantly, I started the conversation with him to try and diffuse the tension. “ Sir, what seems to be the matter? ” 
 
 He brought the glass to his mouth and took a sizable swig of the remaining gin. He let out a deep sigh and pulled his feet off the desk and leaned into to face me. “ Jon, I asked you to take care of things, and now look, I ’ ve got people from all over asking if I held up my part of the deal. What do you think I ’ m supposed to tell them, exactly? That the new guy was an incompetent sack of crap? Jon, you really put me in a predicament here, well yourself, honestly. Sure this all reflects poorly on me, but you realize what I have to do if this happens again, right? ” 
 
 “ Look boss, I did what you asked of me. I sent the emails, made the copies, I even made sure to actualize the budget reports before lunch yesterday. I ’ m just an associate, you only hired me a month ago. ” I could tell this confused him greatly. He laid back in his chair and looked at me for a few seconds with a puzzled face. “ If anything boss, I ’ m just sure you pulled a long night here at the office and need some rest or coffee, how about I go fetch you some Joe in the meantime? ” 
 
 His eyes moved around the room and he began squinting at his watch. He leaned back and plied is window blinds open, allowing a ray of light to cascade across his Rolex. It was about 10 in the morning at this point and I could see the realization before he even said anything. “ Wow, you ’ re right. I just need some rest, it has been a long night. I ’ m going to call it day, if anyone needs me say I ’ m out of the office, Jon. ” 
 
 “ Anything you say, boss ”, I said. 
 
 He got up and grabbed his coat from the chair and began to put it on. He finished off the remaining sip of gin in the glass and began to collect all the papers on his desk and put them in his leather briefcase. He took a brief moment to fix his tie and corral his hair, making sure that his image wasn ’ t completely tarnished amidst his employees. 
 
 “ Oh, boss, one last thing ”, I said catching him just before he opened the office door to head out. He turned and looked over his shoulder towards me, his ear directly facing me. “ I took care of everything last night, too. Rest easy. ” 
 
 He turned his head back towards the door and his hand remained on the door knob. “ Good work kid, glad to see someone isn ’ t afraid to get their hands dirty. ” 

