[ WP ] You pray to God , wishing that you will get a boyfriend/girlfriend before you die . He gives you immortality .

She passed me by, skirt fluttering in the cold breeze that circulated the bus. 
 
 `` Thank you!'' She sung out, in her perfect, high pitched voice, as she jumped out the bus onto the footpath. 
 
 *An asian girl. * I thought. *Yeah definitely an asian girl. * 
 
 `` Cya luv!'' Boomed the lesbian troll at the helm of the vehicle. The doors hissed shut and the wind exhausted itself. 
 
 *No actually a white girl, it's like going in blind with the asians never sure if they're kinkier than an old hose or more vanilla than french icecream* 
 
... 
 
 *Wait but what about black girls? * 
 
 The back doors on the bus screached open. A man squeezed out his seat and hobbled out the doorway. Just as the doors began to shut I realised this was my stop. I scrambled off my seat and flew down the steps. 
 
 `` Hey wait, sorry!'' I screamed. There was a slapping off hydraulics and the bus halted. The doors flew open. 
 
 `` Thanks!'' I screamed, before diving off the bus. Soon as I hit the ground I was running. My bag jiggled like a condom full of jelly as I careened around the corner and up to the front porch. 
 
 *20-years-old. * I thought. *Fuck if I could just get laid. * 
 
 I slammed the door shut behind me and diverolled onto my bed. I whipped out my phone, my cock, and beat it like Chris Brown. 
 
 `` Fuck yes, daddy!'' The 22-year-old looking 18-year-old screamed, chest flatter than an ironing board. 
 
 `` Oh it feels so-'' I threw my phone off the bed, semen rained on my sheets. I curled over, panting. 
 
 *What I would n't do for a bitch* I thought, staring at the ruffled blankets. They resembled a tiny white desert. It was dim. I was tired. Soon I was n't. Instead I was at the foot of a great stairwell. At its top stood a figure, silhouetted in chains of white light. The walls were adorned with pictures of beautiful woman, naked with wings of feathers. 
 
 `` Hello my son.'' The figure said. I stood there, staring at one of the woman in the pictures, she had particularly large breasts. 
 
 `` Nice woman.'' I said, staring at them. 
 
 `` They are my angels.'' The voice commanded, beginning his way down the stairs, each step echoing out across the plains of white nothingness. 
 
 `` Yeah I have a calendar with chicks.'' I said. `` No posters though, that's pretty bold of you.'' 
 
 `` They-'' He said, stopping half way down the stairs. 
 
 He sighed. 
 
 `` Why are you here.'' 
 
 `` You tell me.'' I said, looking at the girl next to the one with big tits. She was black, smaller tits but her ass was crazy. 
 
 `` Can you *please* stop looking at my posters.'' He said, suddenly right in my face. 
 
 `` So they are posters!'' I cried out triumphantly. His face was weird, featureless but somehow ancient. It was like someone had taken the face of literally every person I'd met and mashed it into a grey pulp and turned that into a face. 
 
 `` Listen, you prayed.'' He said. `` I'm currently blessing you. Just tell me what you prayed for.'' 
 
 `` Wait.'' I said. `` Are you god?'' 
 
 `` I have many names.'' He said, rearing back with a smile. `` Call me what you wish.'' 
 
 `` Holy moly god that is so freaking sick.'' I said. `` Nice gig dude, bet you get tons of poon right?'' 
 
 `` Ugh, pathetic.'' He said. `` Alright this is my last one you're all on your own now ca n't deal with this anymore.'' 
 
 `` Your prayer has been answered.'' And with that the white halls and beautiful woman flew away. I was enveloped in darkness. And soon I woke up. I flipped over to my alarm clock. It read 4:53. 
 
 `` Wow, slept right through.'' I thought. `` Off to work I guess.'' 
 
 And I got dressed, ready, sat around for a bit, then went to work. Then again the next day. Then again. And then it was the weekend. And then I went there next week, then next month. Then I got promoted. Then fired. Then hired. And I thought, *did he even answer my prayer? * 
 
 Then a year ticked past. Two more. Six. Eight. We all started growing older. A decade, but I did n't notice much change. Another decade. Okay something was up. Another decade. This was *not* normal. No denial. 
 
 A thousand years passed. And finally I remembered my prayer. On my 14th birthday I'd prayed to god with a crucifix in my hand. 
 
 `` Dear, Jesus, God, Allah whoever it is out there. Please give me a girlfriend before I die.''
