[ WP ] Death comes to you when you are on your deathbed and you discover he 's actually a very nice Canadian guy .

`` Oh hey, I'm uh really sorry about this.'' 
 
 `` About what?'' I looked at him confused. 
 
 `` You're dead there sonny.'' 
 
 As my eyes unblurred I saw an eight-foot-tall skeleton with a live snake running between his eye-sockets. His pitch-black cloak made him look even bigger and wider than what I assumed was a tiny skeleton underneath it. 
 
 `` What... how?'' 
 
 `` Oh it was aboot an hour ago,'' He gestured before me to a highway far, far down. `` Guy fell asleep at the wheel. Real shame. You're very young after all.'' 
 
 `` But... but..'' 
 
 `` I know,'' Death put his arm around me comfortably. `` It's very hard to understand, but the afterlife is n't all bad.'' 
 
 `` Um... I have questions.'' 
 
 `` Oh shore, shore. Go ahead.'' Death's teeth cracked creepily into what I thought was a smile. I could see the snake slithering behind the gaps of his teeth. 
 
 `` I... just... did n't expect Death to be... so... so... friendly?'' 
 
 `` Oh yeah, well,'' Death's teeth clattered as he chuckled, `` That's the stereotype. Us Canadians, always so friendly.'' 
 
 `` Why are you Canadian?'' I asked, `` But... you are n't saying'eh'?'' 
 
 Death laughed loudly, `` Oh right, right. I always forget, I guess I can say that more. We do n't actually say that, but what do I know, eh?'' And he looked like he tried to wink but it ended up just being him peering at me with his right eye-socket. 
 
 `` Why do you even have a nationality?'' I inquired. 
 
 `` Oh well that's a funny story. Funnily enough, people kept running away from me and it was making my job very tough. It was aboot then that The Almighty decided something had to change. He gave me the personality of a Canadian. I did n't understand at the time but I guess the whole world understands Canadians are just aboot the nicest people on Planet Nine. It's very peaceful when a Canadian greets you in the afterlife.'' 
 
 `` Planet nine?'' I gaped. 
 
 `` Ops, should n't have said that,'' Death's teeth rattled creepily as he gave a very hearty laugh. `` Gone and done something I should n't of. Silly me, eh?'' He put so much emphasis on the'eh' it was clearly just for my benefit. 
 
 `` But... God?'' 
 
 `` Anywho, why do n't we get you to where ya need to go.'' Death's hard hand pushed me on my back. 
 
 `` Oh no, am I going to hell?'' I felt my throat closing in fear. 
 
 `` Oh goodness no, you're way too young. The worst thing you ever did was cut your sister's hair when she slept.'' 
 
 My eyes widened. `` That... I was...'' 
 
 Death shook his head dismissing the issue. `` Do n't worry aboot that. Anywho, we're already here. Traveling is pretty quick in the afterlife, eh?'' He let out another teeth rattling chuckle. 
 
 There were large golden gates that stood before us. 
 
 `` Oh no, you first, I insist.'' He gestured me through the gates but he did n't come inside them himself. 
 
 I turned around to see him waving. `` Where do I go?'' 
 
 `` Oh Paulie's up there somewhere. He'll find ya. Do n't worry, everything okay now. Just enjoy a maple donut for me. There are Tim Horton's everywhere, you're a lucky man.'' 
 
 And with that Death walked away heading back to some unknown place. 
 
 `` Tim Hortons?'' I said to myself... maybe this was hell after all. 
 
 
 Edit: Some things and just wanted to say... I know many Canadians and I know they do n't talk like this... but it's fun for the story. Also I worked in a Tim Hortons... it was awful. Thus the hell comment.
