[ WP ] Bernie Sanders wins the presidency but is secretly assassinated . Now one of his team must continue his presidency ala Weekend at Bernie 's .

`` We've come too far to turn back now! We're on the brink of finally passing medicare for all! So fucking what if he's dead, we need this for our country and it's what he would've wanted!'' A visibly distraught Tad Devine bellowed at his colleague Jeff Weaver. 
 
 `` Are you really suggesting what I think you are?'' Weaver asked. 
 
 `` I am, we have to do this for our country'' said Tad as he slipped a pair of Ray Bans over Bernie's lifeless eyes. 
 
 And so it was that Tad Devine and Jeff Weaver propped Bernie in between them and carried him off to Congress to debate the merits of universal healthcare with undecided Democrats and hostile Republicans. But first he would have to give a massive speech addressing the many activists who had decided to occupy the stairs in front of the congressional building. 
 
 `` This will do until we can get Larry David to fill in'' said Jeff. 
 
 ( This is fucking ridiculous lmao feel free to continue this story in the comments )
