[ WP ] As a joke you made your wife read a spell incantation you found on the internet . Now , she has become a three-headed demon trying to find appropriate sacrifices to summon the Dark Lord .

`` I'm trying to help here, Gloria, but I ca n't understand what you're saying when you grunt like that,'' I said, looking up at my wife, the three-headed demon she was. 
 
 `` Gaaaaaah-ROOOOO!'' she screamed, ripping at the curtains. 
 
 `` Just nod if you want Chinese,'' I said, trying to move everything that was n't bolted down to the ground away from my wife, `` you said you were hungry earlier, and it is Chinese night, so...'' 
 
 `` RAWR!'' one of her heads screamed with delight. 
 
 `` Alright, alright... Sheesh,'' I said, pulling out my phone and calling our usual joint, `` What do you want?'' 
 
 `` ISH ISH ISH ISH!'' another head hissed. 
 
 `` The usual I guess?'' 
 
 `` ISH!'' the head roared again, which I took for a yes. 
 
 `` Hello, this is Wanton Express,'' Chen, a familiar voice, said, `` how can I help you today?'' 
 
 `` Hey Chen, it's Robbie again, how are you?'' I asked. 
 
 `` Good, good,'' she said, `` It's a bit busy, so I'm-'' 
 
 `` REEEEEEEEEARP!'' the middle head bellowed, glaring at me all the while. 
 
 `` Okay Gloria, I'll be quick,'' I said, `` can you just put us down for the regular?'' 
 
 `` Sure, it'll be a half an hour though.'' 
 
 `` That's fine,'' I said, `` Thanks, Chen.'' 
 
 `` No problem,'' she said, hanging up after. I sat down next to my wife, which was a big mistake. Two of her heads looked down at me while the third began to foam at the mouth. She put a claw on my shoulder and began to rub. `` Not right now,'' I said, `` I'm more hungry than horny.'' She sighed. Soon enough, the delivery boy showed up and rang the doorbell. 
 
 `` I got it,'' I said, getting up and opening the door. 
 
 `` Hey Robbie,'' said Lee, `` got your food right here for you.'' 
 
 `` Hey Lee, thanks,'' I said. 
 
 `` Man,'' he said, `` It's been real busy today, I jus-'' 
 
 `` TWEEEEEEEEEP!'' my wife yelled, tackling Lee, who put up a fight as she clawed at him. I knew better than to step between my wife and a good meal. 
 
 `` Oh,'' I said, `` You wanted a Chinese person, not Chinese food.'' She paid me not attention as I watched her devour Lee's torso, worrying about my wife's racism. 

