[ WP ] Humans have discovered the secret to high-speed inter-planetary travel . and it is the most stupid and ridicilous thing possible

`` Right down there, sir. They're expecting you.'' The attendant pointed, smiling at Ray. 
 
 The older man nodded sheepishly, grabbing his coat and suitcase from the taxi driver, and headed toward the main building. The Warp Terminal was immense, an old aircraft hangar built back in the 80's; back when transatlantic flight was something of a novelty, let alone a galactic flight. Time traveled so quickly these days. 
 
 Ray reminded himself that was the way of technology. A mere seventy years between Man first powered flight and stepping foot on the Moon, and somehow less than fifty years after that one could travel to other worlds in the blink of an eye. That was what they told him anyway. 
 
 Ray stopped outside the entrance to gaze at the silvery windows, suddenly uncertain. Inside, the building bustled with activity, hundreds of people rushing about. 
 
 `` Mr. Stevens?'' a voice inquired from Ray's side. A man stood watching him curiously, a lab coat draped over his lean shoulders. 
 
 `` Yep, that's me.'' Ray stammered. `` Is there something I can I help you with?'' 
 
 `` I was hoping I could help you. You're here for the Warp? You're the lucky winner correct?'' 
 
 `` Yes, sir. My grandson Jimmy entered me in that competition of yours. But I'm not sure where to go. All this technology stuff is a bit confusing.'' Ray pointed at the building. The newcomer smiled. 
 
 `` There's nothing to worry about, Mr. Stevens. I'm Dr. Andrews, I'm going to be assisting you with your travel today.'' 
 
 The men shook hands, heading into the terminal. 
 
 `` So what have you heard about Warp travel?'' Dr. Andrews asked as they walked, heading through a barrage of security and corridors. Large men in uniforms checked and re-checked their identification. Ray politely smiled and nodded to those they passed, but they seemed to largely ignore him. 
 
 `` Um, I'm not quite sure. I read about it in the papers when you built a colony on Mars. Was awful taken by how much work was being done. Seemed a grand thing. Must have made your life a lot easier, hauling everything out there.'' 
 
 `` Indeed, the Mars colony has proven highly successful. Until now the travel has been restricted to military and space personnel. You will be the first civilian to take the trip.'' 
 
 `` I know, and that's what has me worried.'' Ray glanced around. `` Maybe there is someone better suited?'' 
 
 `` Nonsense.'' 
 
 `` Well, I do n't even know how it works.'' 
 
 `` Very few people do. But all will be explained in a moment.'' 
 
 Dr. Andrews stopped outside a vault door. Steel bars stretched across the front, locked in place by the thick concrete surrounding it. A bold smattering of RESTRICTED was painted across the front, an elaborate keypad to one side. Ray watched the door warily. 
 
 `` What is behind this vault is of utmost secrecy,'' Dr. Andrews punched in some numbers on the pad. `` I can not overstate the importance of Warp remaining a secret.'' 
 
 `` I signed the release form, Dr. Andrews. Checked it twice with my lawyers. I wo n't be telling nobody.'' Ray chuckled. `` And if I did, who would believe an old fella like me?'' 
 
 Dr. Andrews smiled, opening the vault. `` Who indeed?'' 
 
 The bars clanged open, retreating into the walls and the massive door swung open. Ray stepped through into a tiny square room, empty save for a table in the center, a small box on top of its steely surface. The box was small, a few holes on either side. Dr. Andrews approached it as the vault closed behind them. 
 
 `` This is the pinnacle of human endeavor, Mr Stevens. Thousands of years worth of technology throughout history molded into this.'' 
 
 Something *moved* inside the box, shaking it. 
 
 Ray shook his head, swallowing nervously. `` Um, I do think you've got the wrong person Dr. Andrews.'' 
 
 `` Do n't be afraid.'' 
 
 Dr. Andrews pulled Ray over to the box and he could hear whatever was inside make a sound. Was that a *caww*? 
 
 The lab coated man reached into the box, drawing out a chicken. Beak, a dark yellow, feathers white and gray. Eyes beady and wild as it regarded its surroundings and the man who held it. 
 
 Ray stared at it, confused. `` Is this, some kind of joke?'' 
 
 `` I assure you it is not. Here.'' Dr. Andrews passed Ray the chicken, careful not to drop it. The older man held the small bird uncomfortably in his hands, juggling his coat and suitcase under an arm. 
 
 `` Um, what do I do now?'' 
 
 `` First things first. The sensation of inter-planetary travel can be disorientating. It will only take a moment. When you arrive on Mars you will be met by my colleague.'' Dr. Andrews pointed at the chicken. `` You must simply place the chicken back on the ground and step away. Is that understood?'' 
 
 `` Um, yes.'' 
 
 `` Good. Now prepare yourself.'' Dr. Andrews took a breath. `` Now choke it.'' 
 
 `` What?'' 
 
 `` Choke the chicken, Mr. Stevens.''
