[ WP ] You 've gone to space on a mission to answer a distress call , but you arrive to find a stoned Gandalf .

`` T-minus one minute until we land on Planet Arda'' 
 
 As the ship settles down on the grassy knoll I let out a sigh of relief, `` Phew, I'm here safe and sound''. As I make my way outside into this unknown grassy terrain, I check and double check that my oxygen levels are steady and that the cart of sweets and assorted cakes ( that were asked for in the distress call ) are full. A crackling voice from my headset asks `` Is the cart secure?''. `` roger that'' I responded. 
 According to my tracker I'm only a few hundred meters from the distress beacon. I make my way under and over a hill, making my way over the 
 hill I gaze upon something I did not expect. 
 There on a lovely, behemoth of a mushroom sat an old, bearded man with a pointy hat. He appeared to be smoking out of a long wooden pipe, beautiful multicolored tendrils of smoke rose from the pipe. He spotted me and his voice bellowed `` Ah young Master Baggins, where ever did you go to?'' 
 `` Um... we got your distress signal and message sir. You said there were small folk in dire need of cakes and sweets, a matter of life and death if I recall'' I replied. The old man looked me up and down with those blue, glazed eyes and snapped `` It's me, Gandalf! What armor is this you wear? What happened to your Mithril vest?'' With a wave of his hand my oxygen helmet disappeared and I started to choke but the old man muttered something in a foreign language and I was miraculously able to breathe. 
 He shot up from the mushroom and was beside me in an instant, waving his hands again and muttering I suddenly felt very relaxed and passive. He placed the pipe in my mouth, I looked at the bottom of the pipe it was filled to the brim with a lavender colored looking herb. `` The finest long bottom leaf this side of the South Farthing'' the ancient man whispered excitedly as he produced a flame from his decrepit finger and pointed it at the pipe. 
 I inhaled for what felt like an eternity, I exhaled slowly and to my astonishment a bright yellow frigate sailed out from my mouth and exploded into a kaleidoscope of stars and galaxies. I shut my eyes in disbelief, thinking to myself this shit can not be real. I peel my eyes open and surrounding the old man and myself were hundreds of little people wearing various sorts of vests and shorts, all dancing and singing merrily. 
 `` You are Master Baggins now'' barked Gandalf as he rested his hand on my shoulder. Without warning, I gradually shrunk down to the size of the little folk, gone was the rest of my space suit and I was now wearing a brown vest with orange shorts. 
 I had the sudden urge to dance and dance I did. I strutted my stuff on a dance floor made of hay while a `` disco ball'' that resembled a well known New Zealand film director hovered above us. My stomach roared with a fiery desire for food. Gandalf must have sensed my sudden appetite as he roared for all to hear `` The Mega Munchies have kicked in, let elevenses commence''. 
 The yearning for food was too much for me, I dived on the cart ( my mission long forgotten ) devouring all the delicious cakes I could get my little hands on. I had accepted my fate, I am Master Baggins....
