[ WP ] The person sitting next to you on a plane leans over and says , `` Do n't ask me how I know this , but this plane is going to crash before it reaches Newark . ''

The remark surprised me for three reasons. Firstly it was difficult to imagine how this person could possibly know this information. Actually it was n't so difficult to imagine how it was possible but, for all the possibilities, nothing plausible sprung to mind. Secondly, the plane was n't going to Newark. At least I hoped it was n't, my wife would be waiting at J.F.K for me and it may be the final nail in the coffin of our marriage if I did n't show. 
 
 The third thing that surprised me was that there was no one sitting next to me. The airline had required me to buy to tickets which is apparently `` necessary for a man of your stature'', and then no one turned up to take the third seat beside my two anyway. Just to make sure I looked over into the two empty sets beside me and, as I assumed, there was no one there. This comforted me, clearly if there was n't anyone sitting there then I had just imagined the whole thing and I could go back to sleep. I leaned back towards the window, resting my head in the crook of my elbow and closed my eyes. Then I opened them again. I had just seen someone sitting next to me and I was n't happy about it, so I looked back over the other two seats and again, no one was there. 
 
 `` Johnathan you're going crazy.'' I muttered to myself `` Go back to sleep.'' 
 
 So I leaned back ready to fall asleep for the second time, but with a slight feeling of unease and, as I turned my head to the window, I could see why. There was someone sitting next to me only he was sitting on the wing of the plane, lazily swinging his feet back and forth in a manner defying the forces I would assume acted on someone outside of an aircraft. He was looking through the window back at me. 
 
 `` Did you hear what I just said?'' asked the man. 
 
 `` Um... yes?'' I replied, very confused by the exchange. 
 
 `` So why were you trying to sleep?'' 
 
 I blinked a few times just to make sure this was n't a very detailed blur on the lens of my eye. It was n't. 
 
 `` The plane is going to crash?'' I asked. 
 
 `` Yes.'' 
 
 `` Can we stop it?'' 
 
 `` No.'' 
 
 `` Oh.'' 
 
 This upset me. After what had happened I had spent the past three months trying to fix things with my wife, even after she had ran off to New York because she `` needed some alone time''. It was n't alone time she needed when I found her in bed with the fucking European pianist. But that was in the past now. She had called me last week asking me to come to New York, there were some things we needed to talk about which would be better in person. So it would be disappointing if the plane crashed before we got there. I had n't even had sex in the past six months. I did n't want to die with that going on too. I briefly considered masturbating in the airplane restroom but I could see it was occupied. 
 
 `` Is there anything we can do about it?'' I asked, turning back to the man on the wing. 
 
 `` I'm afraid not.'' He said, with a slight shrug. 
 
 `` Why are you here?'' 
 
 `` It's my job.'' 
 
 `` Job?'' 
 
 `` I think you have them here too. You know, how you spend half your life to get you money so you can spend the other half how you like.'' 
 
 I nodded to the man, but he could tell I still was n't following. 
 
 `` I'm an auditor. I audit.'' He said, as an attempt to clear up the confusion. 
 
 `` What is it that you audit?'' 
 
 `` Lives.'' 
 
 `` For who?'' 
 
 `` God.'' 
 
 `` God?'' 
 
 `` God.'' 
 
 I sat back, more confused with each answer I received to my questions. 
 
 `` The man upstairs needs to keep track of these things, when people are born, when people die, the big stuff. He ca n't have Lucifer sneaking away souls without knowing about it.'' Said the man, confident that this would clear up any remaining confusion. 
 
 `` Why did you saw it would crash before Newark? We're going to J.F.K, are n't we?'' 
 
 The man looked in through the window of the plane to the small panel above my head where the'no-smoking' and'seatbelt on' lights were lit. As he looked a crackle came from the speaker behind the lights followed by `` This is your captain speaking. We've had to take a small detour because of technical difficulties and have rerouted to Newark where we will land in approximately fifteen minutes. Arrangements will be made to get you to J.F.K international airport from Newark in a timely fashion. We are sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.'' 
 
 I looked back to the man in the window. 
 
 `` How long do we have before the plane crashes?'' 
 
 `` About six seconds, give or take.'' 
 
 `` Six secon...'' 
 I was cut short by a a booming sound from outside the plane which lurched suddenly to the left. I could see thick plumes of black smoke coming from both of the engines outside the window. The man got to his feet, gave me a quick apologetic glance, and unfolded pristine white wings out behind him. Looking around the plane it appeared, despite all of the panicked shrieking and looking out of windows, no one else had seen the man on the wing. I turned back in time to see him fall backwards off the wing of the plane and glide gracefully out of sight on wings of his own. There was the sound of another explosion and the plane rocked to the right before taking a sharp turn and plummeting down.
