[ WP ] The most hateful , spiteful , bitter confession of undying love .

You know I checked out a long time ago, right? I'm barely even here. A faint whispered echo of the person I used to be before you came along. You fucking whore. You sucked my life away, you sucked the blood from my veins until they shriveled up, paper thin, tearing every time I wrenched away from you. And you will not let me go. You're inside of me. My little tapeworm. 
 
 Why do I stay? Well, I suppose I have nothing left. Nothing left but you, baby. You and whoever it is you're fucking tonight. I just was n't enough, was I? And yet still I aim to please. You have this, this... *hunger. * Carnal, carnivorous. And still I stay. No, you have no fear, no worry, no shame. Because you know. You know I have nowhere else to go, and I would n't go if I did. 
 
 Look at me. Watch me tear the flesh from my bones, watch me weep bitter tears, watch as I scream out in agony. Just fucking *watch me. * Please. 
 
 It hurt my pride the first time you hit me. But I gave up. I stopped calling myself a man a long time ago. I stopped even feeling the blows. The only thing that mattered was that they were directed at *me. * And now you wo n't even give me that. And now I sit groveling in front of the mirror, hoping the person on the other side will hear me, will acknowledge me. Sometimes I forget that the person in the mirror is me. You forgot that a long time ago. 
 
 Ca n't you hear me, you fucking bitch? Here I am. Your goddamn cuckold. I've been waiting here for you all night. Sitting in my own filth. I can hear the mattress creaking. I *know* you're here. You did n't even bother to go to his place this time. Every moan chips my frozen heart a little further, and you know it. I think you like it. Maybe I could like it too. Is this how you love me now? 
 
 The door is n't locked. I could leave right now. I remember that word. *Love. * I remember how you said it to me. It feels like that was another life. That was when the world still had color, when I had a world. That was before you were my world. I said it back. I'm still saying it back, whispering it in the dark and imagining that you said it first. I could leave right now. 
 
 But I wo n't. 
 
 Fuck what I have become.
