[ WP ] You walk into your basement . There are two people tied up down there you have never seen in your life .

The woman spoke first. `` Help me! He's with them!'' 
 
 The man was close behind her. `` She'll kill us both. Let me go!'' 
 
 I was still stood there. Burger halfway to mouth. `` I just needed a light bulb,'' I said numbly. 
 
 `` You have to listen to me,'' she said. `` It's too complicated to explain. Let me go!'' 
 
 I took a bite. `` Do n't you think you should make the effort?'' I said, `` considering the circumstances?'' 
 
 The man looked smug. `` She does n't want to explain because she ca n't. She's a killer. Let me go. I'll explain everything!'' 
 
 `` OK,'' I said. `` Go on, then.'' 
 
 He struggled theatrically against his bonds. `` Let me go first!'' 
 
 I looked at my burger. I wished I'd brought a Coke down, too. `` Why?'' I asked. 
 
 `` Why? Why let me go? Why stop be from being murdered?'' 
 
 `` Well,'' I started. `` Clearly, neither of you are going anywhere. I think at least one of you would have time for some kind of explanation.'' 
 
 She threw her head back. `` How can you be so calm about this?'' 
 
 I gestured vaguely towards the kitchen. `` The doctor's got me on these antidepressants. I'm kind of numb, to tell you the truth.'' 
 
 She sighed. 
 
 `` It's probably for the best,'' I said encouragingly. `` I do n't see this as a good situation to freak out in. You really lucked out, if you think about it. So what's up?'' 
 
 `` You would n't believe me,'' she said. `` But it's true.'' 
 
 I pointed my burger at the man. `` What about you, Bob? Would -'' 
 
 `` My name's not Bob.'' 
 
 `` I'm gon na call you Bob. Would I believe you?'' 
 
 He hung his head. `` No,'' he said. 
 
 I shrugged. `` Well, then.'' I said. `` Should I just call the cops?'' 
 
 They both shrieked no. 
 
 `` Susan first.'' 
 
 `` I -'' 
 
 `` You're Susan. Spill it, Sue.'' 
 
 `` I'm... I'm a time traveller. I've come from the year 2054. I've come back to prevent a grave situation from happening in your time. I have to stop it. *Millions* will die.'' 
 
 I came down the rest of the stairs. If I'm going to be honest, it was a little unsteadily. 
 
 She scowled. `` Are you drunk?'' 
 
 `` I would n't say *drunk*,'' I said. 
 
 `` What about your pills?'' She said. `` Did n't they say'avoid alcohol'?'' 
 
 `` They're not the boss of me.'' 
 
 The man spoke up. `` Her timeline is puritanical. That's what I'm fighting against. I'm from 2063. I've come back to stop her from preventing the event. If I do n't stop her -'' 
 
 I held up a hand ( full of burger ) to stop him. `` So you're from later than her?'' I turned to the woman. `` Does n't that mean he's right? I mean, if he's seen further ahead than you?'' 
 
 She shook her head. Her hair followed with delightful inertia. `` No. I'm from 2053. Our scouts are from 2071. They returned back to us to try and prevent a different disaster, but it was already too late. We came back further, to this time. Now.'' 
 
 `` That's not how it works!'' The man shouted. `` In 2092, time travel is invented. I went back to 2063 to give them the technology to invent it. The only way time travel could be invented is with time travel technology. It's a self-sustaining loop. In 2071, when she *claims* her scouts came back, the world was in flux. There were many disasters. The Utopia of modern civilisation rose from the ashes. If you derail this timeline, that Utopia will never be!'' 
 
 I mulled this over. Time travel paradoxes go down easier with mustard. I turned to the woman. `` If you're from 2053, and your scouts went to 2071 and only saw disaster, then -'' I turned to the man. `` Why did n't *you* time travel to 2071, or 2053, and explain the situation? You could just travel to 2092 and check? I mean, why come here?'' 
 
 He swallowed hard. `` You can only travel back, not forwards.'' 
 
 `` Ah,'' I said. `` So, who tied you up?'' 
 
 They looked at each other. `` There is a group. From 2099.'' 
 
 I sighed. `` Jesus Christ.'' 
 
 `` They're anarchists. They only want destruction. They've -'' 
 
 I swallowed my last bite of burger. `` Let me stop you there. Stop. Before you get any further. I'm going to ask you one question. One. And then this'll all be over. But you have to swear to me - *swear* - that you'll tell me the truth.'' 
 
 They both agreed. 
 
 `` Are you a bored married couple, roleplaying some weird shit in a random guy's house?'' 
 
 They looked cagey. They looked at each other. They looked guilty. 
 
 `` Yes,'' they both said together. 
 
 `` Get the fuck out of my basement,'' I said.
