[ WP ] Humanity has invented a serum that allows immortality ... but it has to be injected at birth in order to work , so all currently alive humans will be the last humans to die .

“ Attention! ” Nancy squeaked, “ Attention everyone! ” 
 
 She stood on top of a table, her fluffy pink slippers carefully avoiding the wet spot where Pam had set her chocolate milk. 
 
 Gradually, the doctors and nurses in the cafeteria grew silent. 
 
 “ A-hem, ” she said, quivering her tiny shoulders. “ We have received a shipment of a certain serum, ” she said, “ And we are going to inject it into every newborn baby in this hospital. ” 
 
 There was a murmur through the crowd. What was this serum? Why were they injecting it into everyone? Why was Nancy wearing fluffy pink slippers? 
 
 Nancy clapped her hands, “ Attention! ” She squeaked, “ I still need your attention, please! ” The murmur quieted, though not completely. There were a few chuckles. Nancy chose to ignore them. “ We don ’ t have much time, ” she said, “ The injection only works if it ’ s delivered very quickly after birth. ” 
 
 “ How quickly? ” Pam asked. 
 
 Nancy stepped back, flustered. “ Well, ” she said, “ As soon as possible. It might not work if we take too long. That ’ s why I need all of your help. ” 
 
 “ What? ” Dr. Nussbaum said, holding a spoonful of mashed potatoes in the air. “ You want us to stop eating dinner and go inject these newborns? ” 
 
 Nancy looked about nervously. “ Um, ” she said, “ Yes, doctor. ” She tugged at her shirt collar. 
 
 Dr. Nussbaum laughed. “ I just finished a 13-hour bypass, ” he said, “ If you wan na order me around, you ’ re gon na have to go to med school and get a Directorship, little lady. ” He shoveled more mashed potatoes into his mouth. Extra butter. 
 
 Nancy scrunched up her face like a constipated mouse. “ I would have thought that you would have been more helpful, ” she said. 
 
 She tossed her head back in the air. “ After all, ” she said, “ This is a matter of life and death. ” 
 
 “ What do you mean? ” Pam asked, “ What does the serum do? ” 
 
 Nancy flashed her eyes at Dr. Nussbaum. “ It grants eternal life, ” she said, “ Forever! ” 
 
 Dr. Nussbaum burped. “ Big deal, ” he said, “ It ’ s not like you cured cancer. ” 
 
 Pam set down her chocolate milk, hard. “ The serum causes eternal cancer!? ” She said, “ What are you thinking? Why would you give that to a little baby? ” 
 
 “ What? ” Nancy said, wringing her hands. “ No, ” she said, “ It doesn ’ t cause cancer. It causes eternal life. It ’ s a good thing. ” 
 
 Dr. Nussbaum took out a flask and poured some vodka into his chocolate milk. “ Does it prevent cancer? ” he asked. 
 
 “ Well, ” she said, her voice rising to a squeak, “ Maybe it does? ” 
 
 Dr. Nussbaum stared at her, hard. 
 
 “ Okay fine, ” Nancy said, “ No, it doesn ’ t prevent cancer. ” 
 
 “ So these babies, ” Dr. Nussbaum said, “ They ’ re going to live for a while and then they ’ ll eventually get Cancer and Alzheimer ’ s and Dementia. ” 
 
 Nancy looked like she was about to cry. 
 
 “ And they ’ re going to live forever, ” Dr. Nussbaum said, “ With those terrible conditions. ” 
 
 Tears fell down Nancy ’ s face, smudging her make-up. “ I-I didn ’ t mean it like that. You make it sound so terrible. ” She walked down from the table. Somehow, her pink fluffy slippers had fallen off her feet. They lay on the cafeteria table, forlorn. 
 
 “ Nancy, ” Pam said, “ Come back. ” She embraced Nancy, who was now racking with sobs. 
 
 Dr. Nussbaum cleared away his tray, shaking his head derisively. He exited the cafeteria, and took the elevator up to the Maternity ward. He peered through a glass window, looking at rows upon rows of babies with squashy little faces and pink-or-blue sock hats. He smiled at the babies. They were sleeping. 
 
 The crate of Immortality serum was in the supply closet. He hefted it onto a dolly, and wheeled it towards the elevator. No one stopped him. 
 
 He wheeled the crate out of the front entrance and into the parking lot. He set it down behind a red pickup truck. He opened the truck bed and hefted the crate on top. 
 
 He slid the crate towards the front of the truck bed. It fit snugly next to the other crate. He patted the other crate appreciatively. He wondered which one would fetch a better price. 
 
 The other crate had been delivered to Dr. Nussbaum ’ s office by accident. He hadn ’ t been able to believe his luck. It was marked ‘ Serum of Perfect Health ’ 

