[ WP ] The universe conspires to make you late for work everyday . Your boss gives you one last chance . This time you 're ready ...

`` Hey, Gabriel! Joe Schmucktard is getting ready to leave for work again.'' 
 
 `` Eh, I'm kind of over messing with him, Michael. Besides, if the Big Guy finds out, we'll be in the Cloud Brig for centuries.'' 
 
 Michael snorted. `` You're such a wet sock, Gabe. Who cares about the Brig? We've got eternity to kill up here. Come on, mate. Look, he's getting in his car! I'm going to stall it.'' 
 
 Gabriel sighed. He certainly did n't envy humans, but at least they were able to choose their company. He watched with reserved amusement as Michael zapped the transmission on Joe's little Honda Civic. 
 
 Michael was rolling on the Cirrostratus, laughing. `` Ha ha! Look at him! I ca n't tell if he's more confused or livid. Okay, he's calling an Uber now. Let's give the driver a bout of amnesia so he winds up in Trenton.'' 
 
 Gabriel chuckled, reluctantly joining in the antics with a flick of his finger, rendering the recently arrived driver with a bad case of short-term memory loss. 
 
 `` You know, Gabe, sometimes I feel like we're growing apart. Kind of like an old Earth married couple, except we've been together for several millennia.'' 
 
 `` It's not you, Michael,'' Gabriel replied, `` I think I'm just finally starting to mature and look to other ways of entertaining...'' 
 
 `` Shh! Wait! Look, he's in the middle of Trenton now, trying to hail a cab while avoiding every gleaming mugger's eye. I'm going to have a cabbie pull up, be super nice, and then rob him!'' 
 
 `` Fine, whatever,'' said Gabriel. `` We're just not compatible anymore, I guess.'' 
 
 Michael ignored him and giggled happily at the scene below him. Joe was fighting tears in the back seat of a taxi, the driver menacingly holding a gun on him, demanding his wallet. He finally turned his attention back. 
 
 `` Look, Gabriel,'' he said, `` maybe we just need a vacation. I hear Purgatory is beautiful this time of...'' 
 
 `` Hold on!'' interrupted Gabriel. `` Look! What's he doing?'' 
 
 Joe's eyes had darkened, and he wore a spastic, maniacal grin on his face. The veins in his arms had begun to bulge and his hands clenched like a loaded spring. `` I think he's snapped,'' said Michael, `` he's going to...'' 
 
 Joe lunged toward the taxi driver, fingernails clawing for traction at his face and teeth biting the air in front of him. A quick'pop, pop' of gunfire erupted, and Joe lay motionless, front torso straddling the driver's arm rest. 
 
 `` Oh, shit!'' exclaimed Michael. `` He killed him! Damn, man. Poor bugger is going to be spending an eternity in...'' 
 
 `` Heaven,'' came the flat voice behind them. Gabriel and Michael whirled around. `` Self-defense, in an otherwise immaculate life.'' They stared at him, jaws agape. `` Now, let's play a little game...''
