[ WP ] You discover a lamp . You revel in the fact that your top three wildest fantasies are about to come true . You rub the lamp and out comes the genie . . . your judgmental mother .

“ Stop that! Stop it right now, it ’ s not funny, ” I insist. 
 
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 “ Do you wish me to stop? ” she asks with a grin that looks completely out of place on my mother ’ s usually dour face. 
 
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 “ No. No, that ’ s not my wish. I ’ m just asking you to stop with the mind games. ” 
 
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 “ Hah, asking. More like begging. That ’ s just like you Joseph, ” the genie says with a disappointed shake of her head. That ’ s more like something my mother would do. It worries me how quickly this…thing…seems to be learning her mannerisms. I glance over at the scuffed brass vessel the genie emanated from. 
 
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 “ You are a genie, right? ” I ask her. 
 
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 “ I came out of a lamp, I ’ m offering you three wishes. What do you think genius? ” 
 
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 “ I guess it fits. ” 
 
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 She ’ s really getting to me now and she knows it. It ’ s hard to think straight with a dead woman in front of me. She looks just like she did during the autopsy in April. The longer I stare at her the more I doubt my own sanity. 
 
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 “ Come on boy. Make your wish and let me be on my way. ” 
 
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 “ Why are you doing this? Just tell me that. ” 
 
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 “ More begging? I ’ m disappointed in you. I bet your brother would have worked out what to wish for by now. ” She stifles a little yawn. 
 
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 “ I wish you ’ d tell me why you ’ re doing this, ” I blurt out. Regret floods in immediately as I realise I ’ ve just wasted my first wish. Was that what she wanted? 
 
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 “ Because I ’ ve being around ten thousand years and I ’ ve had to learn how to make my own fun. That ’ s one down. Infinite potential and all you wanted was the answer to a question the average toddler could have worked out. Predictable. ” 
 
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 The thing that ’ s imitating my mother picks idly at her nails. The way she does it is perfect right down to the vacant little sneer on her face. It ’ s bringing back memories, unpleasant ones. 
 
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 “ Would you like to make your next wish? ” she asks. 
 
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 “ I ’ m going to take some time to think, ” I tell her. There ’ s so many questions swirling around my head, but I can ’ t throw away another wish on them…can I? 
 
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 “ Take your time. It ’ s not like you ’ ve got anywhere else to go, is it? ” 
 
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 “ That ’ s none of your business, ” I mutter. She knows what happened at work. She knows about the divorce too. I can hear it in her casually venomous words. She ’ s inside my head somehow. 
 
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 “ That ’ s no way to speak to your mother, ” she deadpans. 
 
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 “ You ’ re not my mother. I don ’ t even think you ’ re a genie. You ’ re…you ’ re some kind of demon. ” 
 
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 She rolls her eyes dismissively and goes to work on her next nail. I close my eyes and try to ignore her. I need to think. It ’ s right about at least one thing, I did waste my first wish. 
 
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 “ What if… ” I trail off into silence. I think I know what to wish for. There must be some flaw in it though. There ’ s no way the answer can be so simple. 
 
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 “ Spit it out, ” she drawls. 
 
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 “ I wish for you to tell me the best possible wish I could make for my final wish ” 
 
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 “ Well, I ’ ll admit it ’ s less stupid than your first wish. Just barely though. ” 
 
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 “ So what is it? ” I demand, “ stop stalling and tell me the best possible wish. ” 
 
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 I just want this to be over but I refuse to come out of it empty handed. 
 
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 “ You always were a slow child. Would you like me to tell you everything that ’ s wrong with your second wish or should we just skip straight to number three so you can strike out and I can get back into my bottle? ” 
 
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 “ What ’ s wrong with my wish? ” I ask meekly as my stomach plummets ten stories to the basement. 
 
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 “ Let ’ s start with the glaringly obvious, best for who? Best how? ” 
 
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 “ Best for me of course! What ’ s going to make me happiest? What ’ s going to help the world the most? That ’ s my wish. ” 
 
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 “ You should have said that then. What I think would be best, is if you wished for everyone in the world to go crazy at once. I ’ d enjoy watching that immensely. ” 
 
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 “ You know that ’ s not what I meant! I told you what I meant! ” 
 
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 “ After you made the wish. No wonder your mother was always so disappointed in you. I ’ m disappointed too, ” the genie sighs, “ at least the smart ones are a bit of fun to play with. But you? You ’ re a simpleton. ” 
 
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 The words bore into my ears like hornets. Each one is delivered perfectly in my mother ’ s exquisitely dismissive tone, a tone that served me nothing but insult after insult for my entire life as far back as I could remember. It's the final straw. I feel the rage against my mother boiling up one last time. The genie might be right that I'm stupid, but that wo n't stop me. 
 
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 “ I wish you were dead! ” I scream.
