[ WP ] Write the letter that you always wanted to , but never did .

I know this really is goodbye now, not like one of a lot goodbyes we had before. It is probably the last one. So if it is goodbye, I wanted to do it well. 
 
 I've never written a letter before. I don ’ t know why - letters are awesome. Comparing them to the internet, they seem so true and sincere. That ’ s why I wrote you a letter: I wanted to do this one thing for real. 
 
 I had the idea to write you a letter on the first night when you told you're leaving. It's funny how hard nights can be. Everything gets quiet, more beautiful and empty. I never fear the sleepless nights, although they appear to be endless. They kind of have magic in them. 
 
 
 I do n't know if you care about this; I bet that doesn ’ t mean anything to you. I really hope you wo n't read this. I probably put the address wrong, maybe this letter will get lost in way or you just wo n't open it and throw it in the trash. God, I hope so. I do n't think that writing you again is a good idea. My brain tells me I should leave you alone, forget about who you are and act like it never happened. But if you're reading this now, I want you to know that I do n't want you to respond to this letter. I do n't hope you will call or write me. I want you to get better and let ’ s leave things like that. However, if you'd ever need me, my help, advice, anything, I want you to know i ’ ll ALWAYS be here for you. 
 
 I swear I think about it when i'm sober and rational: I don ’ t believe in any God, I do n't believe in fate either but i ’ m sure that in everybody's life there is a right person. Some are waiting for that person their whole life. I already got mine and I'm sure about it. I just feel it and I can tell. But I realize that I am not your right person. It ’ s all so stupid and unfortunate. Maybe in few years I'll find somebody who would remind me nothing of you and i will feel happy? Maybe I would start family with that person, we would have a good life and I would die of old age surrounded by grandchildren. It sounds pretty, does n't it? Even if that would happen, I know it will always go deeper than that. Maybe I will be really happy, but then I'll bump on random thing like a Hozier song or fucking lip balm that you'needed' for your lips, or I will be driving to work and I ’ ll hear in radio news about something that happened in where you live and i'll think of you. I'll start thinking again that it should n't have ended this way. 
 
 When my husband sees my crying after great sex what am I going to tell him? Is he gon na know that while looking into his eyes I see the eyes of someone else? We're just not meant to be together and we both know it.
