[ WP ] Write the letter that you always wanted to , but never did .

Dear Boss, 
 
 I have come down with a dreadful case of homosexuality and will not be coming in ( to work at least ) this morning. I realize I am out of personal time and that vacation time must be scheduled in advance, but there is nothing to be done. I am simply not fit for work right now -- I have fluid coming out of ( and for that matter going into ) both ends and am stiff all over. I want to assure you that I will arrive for my shift tomorrow. I am sure it is just a 24 hour thing, and I am taking medication to control the symptoms. 
 
 Yours ( and several others', repeatedly through the course of the day ), 
 
 
 Me.
