[ WP ] God answers all of your prayers , and only your prayers . God is also kind of a dick with a matching sense of humor .

It's a goddamn snowpocalypse. 
 
 IT IS A WHITE CHRISTMAS 
 
 There are seventy fucking inches of snow, I ca n't even see across the road to my neighbors house, and the roof on the shed has collapsed. 
 
 YOUR SHED WAS IN NEED OF REPAIR ANYHOW 
 
 I had to let Rover out the second story window to take a piss. 
 
 ROVER IS A GOOD BOY 
 
 Are you... Okay listen. I repent. I have sinned and all that. It's Christmas! Do you want me to be alone on Christmas? 
 
 YOUR FATHER PRAYED FOR A NEW LOVER 
 
 Do n't... Just do n't. 
 
 HAVE YOU READ FIFTY SHADES OF GAY 
 
 God you're such a dick.
