[ WP ] The narrator of a popular series passed away . You are chosen by the gods of the story to be the next one . The problem is that you literally never even heard of the series before . The characters get confused as you keep changing things around .

Okay, first off, let's get some daylight in here. I got ta see what I'm working with. 
 
 `` Wow, the *mine* just brightened up. How'd that happen?'' said the handsome looking maybe twenty something explorer looking guy. He turned off his flashlight. 
 
 `` Yeah, *Gregg*, we must be getting close to the artifact'' There was a blonde girl, maaaybe the same age ( I ca n't be 100 % sure ( I'm really bad with guessing people's ages ) ), following closely behind *Greg*, which I'll have to remember. The guy's name is *Greg*. Also the girl was the one who said that last line of dialogue. Let's stick with Blondie for now until we can figure it out through context clues. Looks like there's two other people following these two. A classic nerd lookin' dude and what I'm guessing is a very sassy black lady. Wait no, my bad. That's an Indian guys with long hair. 
 
 Blondie trips on a rock and into Greg. They both fall over with her on top of Greg. She blushes and leans closer to kiss. Greg shoves her off, `` Eeww gross *sis*! Come on let's keep moving. I know the artifact is close!'' Yikes, okay so they're brother and sister, I guess I wo n't try to force a romance there. Whoops. Maybe she can fall in love with the Indian guy. 
 
 Let's move this along a little bit. I'm sure these people are great, but c'mon, we all want to get to the action. Uhh okay the nerd says, `` Hmm what's this?'' as he pulls a lever on the wall. This activates a mine cart that they all accidentally get thrown in. They fly through a bunch of cobwebs and stuff and then the cart comes to a sudden stop in front of the artifact. It was uhh... `` Gregg look! It's the Golden Hippo of the Lost Gahakan Tribe! We finally found it!'' Yes, it was that thing. It was what the Indian guy said. 
 
 Suddenly, Nazis appear! The surround the group with their machine guns. `` What are Nazis doing here in *2017*?'' asked Greg. Blondie put her hands on her hips and also spoke, `` Yes GREG**G**, what are Nazis doing here in 2017. We've *never* been chased by Nazis before.'' Uhh well they've been following the gang in secret since Chapter 1 how about. They wanted the gold thing from the very beginning. They need it to make a poison or something that kills everyone in the world or turns them into monsters. Something nefarious occult shit like that. The head honcho Nazi guys said that to them. 
 
 The nerd replied in a nerdy tone, `` That's strange considered we're very much rooted in reality. There's no such thing as magic. In our many adventures leading up to this one, there has never been any magic or occult elements.'' He took off his real thick nerd glasses, `` They're regular glasses...'' and massaged his temples. Clearly these Nazis were frustrating him and scaring him so he started to cry. `` I'm not crying. I'm not even close to crying'' the nerd said trying and failing to hold back tears. 
 
 Greg stepped forward and punched the boss Nazi. The rest of the Nazis opened fire on him and riddled him full of bullets. Greg drops dead. How's that for a twist! A sudden unexpected death of a main character! Wooey! Obviously, Blondie screamed, `` GREGG! How can this happen?! Our adventures have always been so light-hearted and fun!'' she gritted her teeth then mumbled, `` It's almost like if *children* were to read of our adventures, they'd really enjoy them...'' The Indian pulls his weiner out for no reason. `` Sorry guys,'' he blurted trying to put his weiner back in his pants, `` That was so out of character of me. I do n't know why I would ever *ever* do that.'' He looks annoyed but then fell over into a spike trap and died. 
 
 The huge loser nerd put his really thick nerd glasses back on and said to no one in particular, `` You're not even trying anymore are you?'' Suddenly, the mine collapsed and killed everyone. And then that was it. No new characters, no new plots, nothing. I think I wrapped things up nicely, but if you disagree, please send all your emails to the publishing company who commissioned me to finish this book on such short notice while I'm *very* busy trying to finish my own book. The End.
