[ WP ] The day the human population crossed 5 billion it was flagged for evaluation by The Consortium for Galactic Peace as a potential parasite . Their silent and thorough followup study is now over and the verdict is ...

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 `` WELL THEY SURELY ARE N'T PARASATIC'' 
 
 `` BUT THEY SHOW PARASITIC SYMPTOMS'' 
 
 `` LIKE?'' 
 
 `` FIRSTLY THEY CONTINUE TO RAVAGE THEIR HOME PLANET WITH NO DISREGARD TO OTHER DEVELOPING SPECIES'' 
 
 `` IN ALL FAIRNESS THEY ARE ATTEMPTING TO CUT BACK ON SPECIES EXTINCTION'' 
 
 `` ONLY A SMALL PORTION, YES, BUT THIS IS ONLY ONE INSTANCE'' 
 
 `` THEY CA N'T AGREE WITH THEMSELVES, THEY STILL WORK AGAINST EACH OTHER, THEY KILL EACH OTHER, FIGHT EACH OTHER, STEAL, RAPE, AND CUT UNFAIR DEALS, IF THE SPECIES CARED ABOUT HOW THEY PRESENTED THEMSELVES THEY WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING DIFFERENT BY NOW.'' 
 
 `` ILLOGICAL, AN ENTIRE SPECIES IS UNAWARE OF OUR EXISTENCE, REMEMBER WHAT WE RECEIVED FROM THEM YEARS EARLIER? A SATELLITE, CONTAINING THINGS THAT THEY THINK BEST REPRESENTS THEM? THE INTELLIGENT OF THEIR SPECIES WANT US TO EXIST, WHILE THE REST CARE LITTLE, THE TRULY IMPORTANT CARE ABOUT APPEARANCE.'' 
 
 `` REMEMBER WHEN FRANK AND HIS SON WENT DOWN? THEY THINK THEY'RE EXISTENTIAL BEINGS NOW HIS SON STILL HEARS THEIR VOICES IN HIS HEAD EVERY NIGHT!'' 
 
 `` WHILE FRANK'S SON MAY BE HAVING NIGHT TERRORS, THE SPECIES IS TOTALLY UNAWARE OF THEIR ABILITY OF TELEPATHIC COMMUNICATION, THIS IS BEING PUT ON HOLD UNTIL THEY REACH THE 10 BILLION POPULATION MARK, CONTINUE SENDING VIRUSES TO TEST IMMUNITY, AND ALTERING ELECTRONICS EQUIPMENT. ALL HARVESTING OF CAT PICTURE'S WILL RESUME.'' 
 
 `` UNDERSTOOD.'' 
 
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