[ WP ] Satan is a single father trying to raise his son , who , in a rebellious phase , is all into peace , love , and harmony .

`` Damian, you're sixteen --'' 
 
 `` My name is n't Damian! It's Peaceflower!'' 
 
 ``... Fine, Peaceflower. You're sixteen, and until you turn eighteen, you're still legally under my care. So no, you're not getting a tattoo of a peace symbol on your forehead.'' 
 
 `` But Daaaaaad! All my other friends are doing it! Their parents said it was okay!'' 
 
 `` I called Timmy Garcia's parents. They're actually paying for the laser surgery to get his burned off, because he falsified his ID to get the tattoo.'' 
 
 `` GOD! I SWEAR, YOU DO N'T LET ME DO *ANYTHING! *'' 
 
 `` One: You do n't use that name in this house. Two: You are given much more freedom than the average terrestrial child; why you do n't make more use of it mystifies me.'' 
 
 `` Dad, have you seen our family?!? We're not normal! I was able to indulge in my wildest perverted fantasies since I hit puberty! I am able to do anything I want, *except* the things that I really want to do!'' 
 
 `` That's what troubles me. You are able to have any man, woman, or other creature you desire, and make it your sex slave. You can have entire armies of willing minions march to your bidding, and make men die for you on a whim... so *why* do you insist upon this nonsense?!? Bob Marley and John Lennon records? Tie-dyed clothing? You write love poetry, and listen to recordings of the Dalai Lama's speeches?!? You set up an Amnesty International chapter at your high school, to protest against the very men I helped put into power specifically to cause those atrocities! Atrocities that *you* fight!'' 
 
 `` Those prisoners and the oppressed live in countries torn by strife, war, and totalitarian governments!'' 
 
 ``... I know. Who do you think orchestrated them?'' 
 
 `` I'm going to the Rainbow Gathering soon. I will show people that the offspring of The First Fallen Angel can be different from his father!'' 
 
 `` Enjoy it while it lasts, Peaceflower. I will have minions come by on Monday when you're organizing another Amnesty International protest at your school, and tear down the posters of John Lennon, the peace symbols, and Nelson Mandela. In their place will be something far more appropriate for the son of Lucifer.'' 
 
 ``... Lem me guess. You're going to replace my posters with more inverted pentacles, death metal bands, paint the walls black again, and chain another willing sex slave to my bedpost?'' 
 
 `` Of course! Do you know how many terrestrial teenagers would *love* a parent who did that for them? And why do you keep freeing your sex slaves?'' 
 
 `` Because they're *enslaved*, Dad. They have a right to be free!'' 
 
 `` They willingly signed up for the job! They realize the privilege of sleeping with the son of Satan!'' 
 
 `` You also lie to them and say they will gain infernal powers by doing so.'' 
 
 `` I'm the Prince of Lies. It's what I do.'' 
 
 `` Look, Dad -- I know I'm the son of the Antichrist and all, but ca n't I choose my own way in the world?!? 
 
 `` Not until you accept your role as my inheritor who will one day rule Hell!'' 
 
 `` NO! I DO N'T WANT TO BE LIKE YOU!!'' 
 
 ``... while I am proud of your rebellious streak, you're still punished for the tattoo idea! You are grounded until you either put on all-black clothing and redecorate your bedroom to my liking, or clean it.'' 
 
 `` But Daaaaaad! The Phish concert is tonight! I promised my friends I'd go!'' 
 
 `` No! You either attend the Behemoth concert, or stay home and face punishment!''
