[ WP ] Ten years ago a race of shapeshifting aliens attempted to infiltrate and take over the world . They were all rooted out and killed . All except you .

`` Hey! Be a monkey!'' 
 
 Children. Fucking children and the zoo, always wanting to stare and point and laugh. 
 
 `` Monkey! BE A MONKEY!!!'' 
 
 Whatever. Nothing else to do in this cage, anyway. I turned to look at him. Pudgy ginger, chocolate ice-pop stains on his face. His mother stared at me coldly. She wore one of the green-and-grey support ribbons on her arm. War Widow. One of my people probably killed her husband and tried to replace him. Fuck this bitch. Fuck this bitch, fuck her idiot husband, and fuck their noisy demanding son. 
 
 `` Okay, kiddo!'' I smiled `` kindly''. Idiot kid bought it, he grinned widely. `` I can be a monkey for you, no trouble. You ready?'' 
 
 The kid jumped with joy, shrieking a high-pitched cheer. I started shifting, growing larger. Bones lengthened, muscles thickened, skin hardened into thick leathery hide, canine fangs grew long and sharp. 
 
 I spoke from my newly-formed gorilla mouth. `` You like the big monkey, kid?'' 
 
 He cheered wildly, joyful and exuberant. I grinned, being sure to show my long deadly gorilla fangs. `` You know what monkeys like to do, kiddo?'' 
 
 `` Swing and play!'' 
 
 `` Ha ha, close!'' With the body control only one of my shape-shifting kin could manage, I motived the new digestive system I had formed to push some fecal matter out of my posterior. I grabbed it in my hand as it exited my sphincter. 
 
 `` EEEEW! Mommy, he pooped!'' The boy laughed gleefully. The mother's eyes widened. She knew. Oh by the Blue God, she knew. 
 
 The boy's cheers of joy turned to shrieks of distress as I `` decorated'' him with my feces. I had lots of excess mass stored in me for shifting that had no better purpose than being converted into fecal matter and thrown. `` You like that, kid! You like my MONKEY SHIT! Little PRICK human! EAT MY SHIT!'' 
 
 The bitch war widow grabbed her shrieky ugly son and shielded him from my shit with her torso. I laughed at them. Fuck'em. The zoo handlers would probably beat me for what I just did but fuck it. Fuck them, fuck everything. 
 
 Nothing better to do in this cage than scream and throw shit at people, anyway. Maybe I'll make it a habit.
