[ WP ] Dragon . Wanted Alive . No bounty paid for a corpse .

The carriage bumped along the road through the wood, following an unkempt pathway that passed through two of the Queen ’ s villages. A particularly unseasonable rain had left the surface especially uneven and a large bump caused the two passengers to jerk forward. One swore, letting out the sentiment that both felt: “ We do not get paid enough for these types of things, you know! ” 
 
 “ I vehemently agree, Darling, I simply am appalled at the tasks we ’ re now being assigned. It really isn ’ t fit for a lady such as yourself, ” replied the second. 
 
 “ Don ’ t call me ‘ darling. ’ Or a lady, for that matter. And quit talking like you ’ re His Majesty the Royal Postman. You ’ re a page, same as me, Godric. All this using words that nobody knows is *vehemouthly* -- ” she paused, raising her eyebrows, “ annoying. ” 
 
 “ It ’ s actually -- well, nevermind. ” 
 
 They rode together in silence for a few minutes before Godric attempted to rekindle the conversation. 
 
 “ You did remember the signs, didn ’ t you? ” 
 
 “ Ugh! You and your questions! Of course I remembered the signs, that ’ s the whole reason we ’ ve come out here, now isn ’ t it? ” She scoffed. “ Did I remember the signs, wot a laugh. ” 
 
 “ Mildred, you needn ’ t be so abrupt. It ’ s really quite unbecoming, ” Godric attempted a stern tone of voice to show his seriousness. Mildred looked at Godric and smiled, slapping him on the shoulder a couple of times. 
 
 “ Aw, fanks, Goddie! That ’ s more the spirit, eh? ” She sat back and Godric stared at her momentarily before returning to looking straight ahead. 
 
 They approached the first town and stopped once they reached the market center. Mildred leaped off the wagon before it stopped, splashing mud on her already filthy dress. She wiped her hands on the front, sniffed loudly, and surveyed the area with her feet apart and hands on her hips. 
 
 “ Welp, ” she called to Godric as the carriage stopped, “ Me finks we should just put it up right there under that bunch of rock. ” She pointed towards the center of the square. Godric, who was retrieving the supplies from the wagon, turned to look. 
 
 “ Dear Mildred, you don ’ t mean the statue, do you? ” He looked back at her quizzically. She squinted with her mouth open and took two steps closer. 
 
 “ Oh is that wot that is? ” She laughed. “ Ha! I would ’ ve thought it a block of rock. Ha! I did find it a bit odd to just have some rock in the middle. ” Being a few feet away from each other, Godric was unable to hear Mildred ’ s ramblings and called back accordingly. 
 
 “ I *said*, WOULDN ’ T THE TOWN BE ODD FOR HAVING JUST ROCK IN THE MIDDLE THERE? ” She called back to him much louder than necessary. The peasants in the town frowned in her direction. Godric had finally managed to gather in his arms the supplies to post the sign. They were heavy, so without assistance he was left to stumble towards Mildred. He finally dropped the supplies at her feet, breathing heavily. Standing straight, he adjusted his tunic. 
 
 “ Even though it ’ s a statue, rather than just rocks as I once supposed it to be, do you fink we should ought to... post the sign on it anyway? ” Mildred asked, still squinting at the statue. Godric laughed, supposing her to be joking. With no response, he did a double take and turned toward her. 
 
 “ You can ’ t be serious, surely. ” 
 
 “ No! Of course I am! I mean, look at it! He ’ s not even wearing knickers, ‘ ardly anyfing at all, with only a little rock-blanket fing coming out of his hip there, see? ” She waved in the general direction of the statue ’ s groin area. Godric ’ s mouth was open in bewilderment. 
 
 “ Mildred. It ’ s art. You can not simply cover up art! ” At this comment, Mildred thought for a moment, nodding and giving lots of *hmm*s. 
 
 “ Well, I fink *this* is art! ” She grinned and picked up the sign, looking from it back to Godric a couple of times. 
 
 “ It ’ s just a sign. ” 
 
 “ Yes, yes, ” she said, putting it down thoughtfully. “ Speaking of this sign that you had previously mentioned and brought up as it were, wot, erm... wot ’ s it say, Goddie? ” Godric puffed his chest for a moment and grinned, internally congratulating himself for having his talents recognized. 
 
 “ It says: WANTED: LIVE DRAGON. NO BOUNTY FOR CORPSES. ” Smiling, he sighed, proud of his efforts. Mildred looked at him blankly. Godric, mildly perturbed at her apparent lack of understanding, repeated himself. “ WANTED: LIVE DRAGON. NO BOUNTY FOR CORPSES. ” 
 
 Mildred still gazed mindlessly at Godric, who began to feel quite flustered. 
 
 “ Well that doesn ’ t make very much sense, does it? ” She began to laugh. Godric was fully offended at the moment, taking her misunderstanding quite personally, and demanded an explanation. 
 
 “ Well, if they ’ re asking for a dragon, wot ’ s a copse got to do wiffit? ” She continued laughing. 
 
 “ A copse? What -- I said *corpse*. ” He enunciated the word quite dramatically, hoping to quell her confusion, but she just shook her head in amazement. 
 
 “ Them government officials were supposed to be the educated lot! Ha! A bounty for a group of trees? Wot a laugh! ” A snort escaped, which surprised her at first, then seemed to intensify her chortling. Godric stomped his foot. 
 
 “ How are we misunderstanding each other? It says ‘ NO BOUNTY FOR CORPSES, ’ as in *dead* dragons! No money for dead dragons, Mildred! It says nothing of copses! CORPSES! ” 
 
 Mildred suddenly stopped laughing and gasped. “ Wait a moment! ” She rushed up to Godric and grasped his arms with her hands. He stood there tensely as she breathed in his face for a good couple inhales before speaking again. “ Are you telling me ‘ corpse ’ means dead body? ” 
 
 “ Yes, Mildred! Yes! How on earth you could possibly not *know* that, yet know the word *copse* is, quite frankly, ” he laughed, “ beyond my comprehension! ” Mildred dropped her hands and began pacing, tapping her chin. 
 
 “ Do you fink, ” she began, stopping directly in front of Godric, “ that when my sister told me to burn the ‘ corpse, ’ that she really meant for me to light me mum up rather than the neighbor ’ s trees? ” 
 
 “... that would be my first guess, mhmm. ” Godric simply was at a loss for words at this point and responded as rationally as he could. The two stared at each other for a moment more, before a peasant walked up and pointed at the sign. 
 
 “ Wots ‘ at say? ” 
 
 Mildred jumped and answered the peasant with much fervor: “ It says you ’ ve got to catch the dragon wiv his ‘ eart still beating and you won ’ t get any money for burning down the trees! ” 
 
 Looking at a stunned Godric, she added with a nod, “ it ’ s important so that he doesn ’ t become confused like I previously had done before. ”
