[ WP ] A game among aliens is to conquer other planets using the laws of that planet . Earth is their next target , but what they do n't realize is that our bureaucracy is a mess .

Nothing but body snatchers and alien politicians. Let's add some variety but stay on the theme: 
 
 Flit felt a pang of apprehension as his final interstellar flight crossed the `` jump gate'' headed towards Sol. 
 
 After entering trans-dimensional space he relaxed in his cup. His body's natural form, a blobulous mass with organs visably floating, flattened slightly as he relaxed. His floating eyes turned from the window, and two undulating appendages extended from his body to tap the monitors in front of him. 
 
 `` While Earthlings are now experiencing a period of relatively peaceful history; they have yet to form any unified government. This had has made infiltration through political channels limited in their application.'' 
 
 Flit read that same sentence for what seemed to be the millionth time. As was his habit when he felt discouraged, he looked back towards the other popular `` Earth fact'' every bit of data he researched seemed to mention. 
 
 Current Bounty: 14.546 trillion dallocks. 
 
 The bounty was posted by the Intergalactic Union of Blutes. It was opened to species or individual who could take full personal control of the planet without an extraterrestrial military campaign, and ( at least tentatively ) under what is considered the `` common law'' of the planet. 
 
 Of course any species who tried to compete with a Blute in bounty hunting was suffering from some brain dysfunction. There was a reason the Blute Union set the bounties ( besides their insatiable appetite for expansion ), holding a reputation far and wide for being masters of disguise and subterfuge. 
 
 But then, according to almost all of Flit's brood, it was almost as unreasonable for any sensible Blute to make a run on Earth. A planet's bounty was based off how long it had withstood attempts at subversive conquer. Earth currently held the record, somehow remaining under human dominion for 2237 years after the Blute's arrival. 
 
 A Blute only lives about 200 years, and many Blutes had lived and died on Earth, chasing the massive fortune before meeting their demise. Ceasar, Jesus, Hitler, Muhammad; while immortalized in Earth's history, they were forgetten by their own species for their failures. Flit did n't intend to meet the same fate, everyone in his brood said he was crazy for this; but then again they were the same one who took pride in his abilities. At the Academy he had broken every record, both in academic and specialized training. 
 
 There was the tiniest `` pop'' ( the sound of the ship's cloaking device initiating ) as his shuttle exited the gate orbiting right outside Earth's moon. Zlit looked at the blue pearl that was his prize through his passenger window. 
 
 They had taken such pride in his abilities, back on Ballit; and now they question him for seeking the highest ambition of all? Earth would be his, and the 14 trillion dallocks along with it. 
 
 28 Years later 
 
 `` No, no, that wo n't work! Look at the international reaction! He's just gon na start another war among the humans that will set us ALL back another 30 years. But who knows? Maybe that's what he wants, if he ca n't have it; he'll keep everyone else from getting it.'' 
 
 Flit had hardened into the form a 28 year old lawyer. He leaned back in his office chair as he gossiped on his cell phone. `` The purely political route will never work. Nah, nah, it's no strategic secret; anyone with a brain should be able to tell. Humans find war too exciting, and nations give them an excuse to do it. You ca n't appeal to human's self interest through politics, only their social responsibility. Huh? If you try to appeal to their self-interest you will just set them against conflicting interests and we'll have a war.'' 
 
 Things had been going good so far for Flit. He found an `` inheritance'' rather cheap, buying a human fortune with dallocks off a jaded Blute that had long-since given up on aspirations of conquering Earth. `` It's worthless, this planet is worthless, all these creatures are worthless. Good luck, you'll need it.'' The seller stated in the correspondence. 
 
 After that faking his birth and childhood was easy. Law school was a pain, but it was always a good start to learn the rules you were playing by. 
 
 `` Oh HIM? He's taking way too much. They are n't THAT stupid, they're gon na pick up a digital trail eventually. I think the economic strategies are more viable, but the problem with theft is humans are too spiteful. Even if they know they ca n't recover the funds, they will still chase him down just to make him pay with incarceration. Haha, very funny.'' 
 
 Di-rup walked in. He was in the form of Flits legal secretary; a beautiful blonde woman in her 30s. `` Yeah, yeah, talk to you later.'' 
 
 `` Here's the evidence against the client, it looks pretty bad.'' Flit took the file and cringed, this was the mayor's son. The HUMAN mayor's son, this influence could be invaluable if Flit could get him off. But the kid was n't making it easy. 
 
 Di-rup responded to his employer's uneasiness with his usual tirade of encouragement. `` I know it does n't look good, but if anyone can do it you can! This will get you so much closer to your goal!'' 
 
 Flit ignored it. Being supportive was part of Di-rups role as an Assistant, but Flit was the one who had to do all the work. Di-rup was an `` assigned'' Blute, if a Blute failed to choose a career by a certain age, they were assigned one by the Union. Di-rup had been chosen as an `` Assistant'', a Blute who supports bounty hunters in conquering other worlds. In exchange for their assistance the bounty hunter promises the Assistant a small percentage of the eventual bounty. 
 
 Flit promised Di-rup 1 %, a relatively low rate; but considering the size of Earth's bounty, still a hefty sum of dallocks. 
 
 `` We still have the prosecutor's dummy corporation.. I think it might be time to make an investment.'' Flit began typing as he commanded his Assistant `` Let's do a quarter million investment. Make sure he knows it's us. We'll promise him another quarter once we get acquittal.'' 
 
 `` The judge, sir?'' 
 
 `` Hrm.'' 
 
 Flit really did n't know what strategy the director of the NSA was playing by. He had a whole industry of Assistants, even if he won; he could n't be coming out with a huge share. Flit appreciated playing the long game, but large teams are unmanageable. 
 
 `` What do you want from me?'' The director demanded, turning up from the documents on Flit's desk. It had been quite easy to bribe one of the hordes of bored Assistants with dallocks. Most were convinced their boss' strategy was going nowhere, and they were desperate to make a buck. 
 
 `` You've made your point clear,'' he said angrily, `` This data... this....leak..threatens everything I built for years. What do you-'' 
 
 `` Just your cooperation, sir'' Flit spoke calmly. `` Some `` professional'' assistance? I'm working on a very... difficult case and I need some information on an individual, particularly something blackmail worthy.'' 
 
 `` A prosecutor?'' 
 
 `` No a judge.'' 
 
 `` Human?'' 
 
 `` As far as we can tell.'' 
 
 The director sighed heavily, `` And if I do this. What guarantee do I have that this-'' he gestured to the papers on the desk, `` goes away? How do I know you do n't just use me, then take me out as competition?'' 
 
 `` I'll do you one better, this will go away and I'll tell you were I got it from.'' The directors eyes narrowed and there was a moment of silence, `` Fine'' 
 
 Flit wrote two names on a post-it and handed it to the director, the man stormed of out his office. 
 
 Di-rup checked the cameras to make sure he was gone, `` Did you really reveal your source sir?'' `` Kind of,'' Flit said `` I revealed the human my source encouraged with ideas of patriotism and self-righteousness to expose the truth.'' A mischievous grin flicked across Flit's face. Di-Rup smiled too. 
 
 
 TO BE CONTINUED 
 ( I wanted to keep this short but I'm getting attached to the characters and having too much fun ). 
 
 
 
 EDIT: Removed `` Buddha'' and made the Blutes first attempt conquest 2237 y/o rather than 2037 so timeframes make more sense. 
 

