[ WP ] You are awoken from cryonic sleep ten million years in the future by an evolved version of a modern animal ( or animals )

I always knew I'd live to be 12,000 years old. I just did n't know what the fuck I'd be in store for. I kinda imagined planet of the apes type shit, you know monkeys riding on horseback and all? 
 
 Low and behold, I woke up to a fucking monkey. I was freezing. This little monkey obviously had some juice cause I suppose he cryogengically unfroze a nigga. He had on a space blanket wrapped around his small ass legs. I was wondering in my cold sweat why the fuck he did n't have it wrapped around his upper torso but fuck it he was the first mother fucker I seen. He spoke in the English language that i remembered after 10,000 years. He told me `` fuck you bitch'' and preceded to dance and show me old music videos from the 90's. I asked for food and he said `` nah.'' I asked `` why the flying fuck am I here for? Where is the spaceships? Or flying cars? Or the purple alien pussy?'' He looked at me again and said `` fuck you bitch.'' And put beavis and butthead on.
