[ WP ] Death comes for him . Death tried to catch him sleeping , but he woke up .

Jonathan's bedroom door slowly opened and Death glided softly through. 
 
 `` It is time.'' the ancient being said in a voice more gentle than a whisper. 
 
 He leaned down and picked the man up in his arms, the way a lover might do when carrying their partner over the threshold. 
 
 Only... something was n't right. There was a string attached to the man's toe and it led to a bedpost. The string was taut. A second later, Death felt the knife sink into his spinal bone. 
 
 `` Yow fucker! Think yow can keel me when I'm sleeping? Yow think i'm half-soaked? Well I bin ready for yow lot ever since last Thursday when Mikey threatened me down the tav. Think yow can get the nod on old Jonny boy? Never in a rain of pigs puddin'!'' 
 
 Death crumpled onto the floor. The pudgy human rolled off him and got to his feet. He then began kicking Death in the stomach. One of Death's ribs flew out from under his cloak. 
 
 `` Well I've never kicked a man's rib out before,'' said Jonathan, surprised at his own accomplishment, `` but I suppose it had to'appen sooner or later.'' He drew his fingers to his lips and let out a high pitched whistle. 
 
 A bulldog scrambled excitedly up the stairs and flew into the room. ``'Ere Bloodlust, that bones fa yow. Eenjoy!'' The dog happily picked up the rib and took it to the corner of the room. He sat down and began gnawing on it. 
 
 Jonathan's attention turned back to Death. `` Roight then. Oo sent yow? Was it Marve? Speak up or I'll lamp ya another one.'' 
 
 Death groaned. `` Your... your time is up. I am Death. Let me go. I must perform my... duties'' 
 
 Jonathan laughed. `` Yow think yoor Death? Gim me a break. I was in a'aevy metal band in the 80's. Trust me, I know Death, and yow aint'im, and then half!'' 
 
 Jonathan took aim at Death's head and gave it a heavy kick. With a *pop* the head detached itself from the spine and flew off across the room. It came to rest near Bloodlust, who let go of the rib and began gnawing on the skull. 
 
 `` Oo'ek, I might'av gone a bit far with that one. You aright mister? You got a face as long as Livery Street. `` said Jonathan, a little concerned. 
 
 Death was silent. 
 
 ``'This ain ’ t gettin the babby a frock and pinny -- I think we're going to have to bury him Bloodlust. Waddya think?'' 
 
 The dog barked in agreement whilst happily wagging its tail. 
 
 

