[ WP ] Imagine a world where dating and job hunting are switched . Dating now involves sending emails and resumes , while people seeking employment frequent the hottest clubs .

She sat back in her chair and studied my resume again. Her pen tapped absentmindedly against the polished mahogany desk. Damn, my suit is itching. I did n't know what to do with my arms. Or my legs. Or where to look. God, I hate these formal interviews! 
 
 `` Awkward phase in high school, but still had some dating experience before college... very interesting... No sexually transmitted diseases, definitely a plus... Height, 6'1... Weight, 170, very nice... blond... Oh, it says here that you once had sex with two women on the same night?'' 
 
 `` Yes, Ma'am,'' I replied, trying to project confidence. It was a blemish on my resume, but I could n't just omit it. `` In college, sir. It was at a fraternity party at which I drank too much and, well... you know.'' 
 
 She adjusted her glasses. `` Mmmhmm.'' My palms were sweating, but I could n't rub them on my pants. She'd notice! Or it would leave wet spots! The silence seemed to stretch on forever. `` And how would you feel about a FMM threesome?'' 
 
 `` I...'' *Do n't stutter! Confident! * `` That would be something that I would be willing to negotiate should we decide to pursue this relationship.'' It all came out in one breath without even stopping to think about it. My whole body quivered nervously as I exhaled. 
 
 She nodded and scribbled something in the margin of the resume. She was trying to hide her smile but it did n't work very well. That was definitely a gamble that had paid off. 
 
 `` Oral skills?'' she asked without even looking up from the paper. 
 
 `` Proficient,'' I answered immediately. 
 
 She glanced up at me over the rim of her glasses. `` Mr. Denton, *many* candidates claim to be proficient. We would need to see an established track record of performance...'' 
 
 `` Oh, I completely understand.'' From within my briefcase, I pulled out another paper. `` My list of references, Ma'am. Those highlighted in yellow would be the ones with whom I had a long-term relationship, while those highlighted in green would be only short term flings or even one night stands.'' 
 
 She accepted the sheet and looked it over. It was fairly extensive, thanks in part due to my exemplary performance in college. Some employers found this to be an issue, but I did n't think this particular interviewer would have a problem with my track record. 
 
 I pointed out four names in particular: `` These women should be able to give you a detailed account of my oral abilities.'' I prayed that she would n't call Amanda, my first girlfriend in high school. God, that attempt had certainly gone poorly! I was down there for an hour, with no clue what to do! 
 
 `` And what is the red highlighting?'' she asked. There were two marked on there. 
 
 `` Those would be other agencies currently considering me for the position of Boyfriend.'' 
 
 `` I see,'' she said, adjusting her blouse and turning back to my resume. She scanned it once more, looking for anything she might have missed. 
 
 `` Very well,'' she finally said, putting the papers back down on the desk and clasping her hands. `` Do you have any questions for me?'' 
 
 I checked my notebook for the ones that I had prepared ahead of time. `` Yes, as a matter of fact. I was doing some research online and I found some online reviews stating that you had friendzoned various men on four different occasions. Could you verify whether this is the case? 
 
 Her mouth hung open as she looked for an answer. `` Well, I made all possible efforts to explain how I felt about them,'' she eventually managed to spit out. 
 
 `` I see,'' I answered. Neither of us spoke for a bit. `` Well, I have no further questions.'' 
 
 She rose from her desk and shook my hand. `` Thank you so much for coming to interview for the option of'coming over to watch a movie and have some wine with me.' You should expect a call sometime soon.'' 
 
 `` Well, thank you!'' That's certainly a good thing to hear coming out of an interview.'' 
 
 `` I'm very eager to have you start immediately,'' she answered. 
 
 `` Yes, I'm sure you are,'' I answered. *Maybe* I'd answer her call when the time came. 

