[ WP ] The death penalty has been replaced by a one way trip to Mars .

`` The death penalty has been replaced by a one way trip to Mars.'' 
 
 **Jesus, Larry. How much coke are you doing? ** 
 
 A lot, David. I mean, none. You're my sponsor. 
 
 **Man, I try, and I try, and I TRY, and fuck! We're supposed to be coming up with movie poster taglines. It's not as easy as it sounds. ** 
 
 Bullshit, What about that one I just dropped on you? 
 
 **We're not doing a sci-fi action movie, dummy. This is a courtroom drama involving kids exposed to cancerous elements, pitting plucky little guy lawyer Kirsten Dunst against high powered, rich corporate mouthpiece played by Matt Damon. ** 
 
 And what Avenger is in this movie? 
 
 **None. ** 
 
 Holy shit. How are we gon na sell this? 
 
 **Not with an unrelated Mars campaign. ** 
 
 Well, it might trick some people into seeing this. 
 
 **God, I know, right? I mean, courtroom dramas? You can turn on TNT. Sick kids? Not sexy. Matt Damon? Who gives a shit if he's not Bourne? Fuck this, fuck that, fuckering fuckertash. ** 
 
 Now THAT'S a tagline. 
 
 **Put the cocaine down, already. You're failing NA. That's worse than failing gym. You fail gym by not doing a pull up. Not doing coke is easier. ** 
 
 I beg to differ, How many pull ups have you ever seen me do? 
 
 **None. ** 
 
 And how many rails? 
 
 **Lots. ** 
 
 So? 
 
 **Point is, it's too late to set the movie on Mars. ** 
 
 No way. They can fix it in post. 
 
 *ONE YEAR LATER* 
 
 *thunderous ovation dies down ) 
 
 Thank you, Academy! 
 
 **Yes, thank you. ** 
 
 You know, when we signed on to do this picture, it was Matt Damon and Kirsten Dunst on earth. But we put them into space, and now we've swept all the Oscars. Even best animated short. How the hell did we do that? 
 
 **No idea. ** 
 
 So yeah, we're great, and you're great, and cocaine is pretty cool, too. See you next year! 
 
 *NOTE: Larry and David died on their way back to their home planet*
