[ WP ] You are granted each wish in the form of an enemy

***WARNING: POTENTIALLY DISTURBING CONTENT*** 
 
 ___ 
 
 Life is nothing if not fair. I deserved the shit I got. 
 
 I used to think otherwise, but that was until I found the Wish Granter. 
 
 It is a massive stone obelisk, guarded by mindless slaves and horribly twisted animals that have no purpose other than to kill everything they see. There have always been rumors that the Wish Granter would grant any wish to whoever could best its guards. 
 
 I bested its guards. So I decided to make a wish. As I approached the Wish Granter, I got a better look at the legendary object. Carved into it's ancient, alien surface in old Cyrillic is `` Nothing it's Free.'' 
 
 *Sounds ominous* I thought. `` Well, here goes nothing,'' I muttered under my breath as I began to formulate my wish. Damn, I'm getting hungry. 
 
 Thinking about my mother's great cooking, I readied my wish. `` I wish for --'', I begin, only to stop by being cut off by another adventurer shooting at me. I quickly ducked behind the Wish Granter, drew the ancient Colt my great grandfather used in World War 2 from my hip, and readied to fire. 
 
 As I peeked from around the Wish Granter, I saw the thing standing there, staring dumbly at the Obelisk. This vaguely humanoid creature that had been twisted by the power of the Wish Granter stared with hollow eyes at the two indentations it had made on the Wish Granter's surface. It stared blankly, seemingly attempting to bore a third hole into the black, glassy surface. As I stared at it, I began to get ravenously hungry. It began to look more and more like a walking slab of meat. The things haunches started to look like large drumsticks. 
 
 I steeled my nerves as I attempted to ignore my possibly cannibalistic urges, picked a new cover point, and bolted. The humanoid creature quickly snapped to focus and fired at me again with its blood-covered pistol, missing wide. 
 
 Once behind cover, I glanced around and found a good place on the creature's body to shoot. Once I had decided, I jumped back towards the Wish Granter, shooting at the creature as I did so. The massive.45 rounds tore the thing apart as I hit it; first tearing its gun arm off, next rending a hole in its abdomen, black blood flowing from it, and finally impacting its head and caving it in, spraying the pitch-colored fluid across the room I was in. 
 
 After cleaning the ooze from my gun and my face ( in that order ) I decided it was time to start a fire, as the Sun was drifting ever closer to the horizon. Once the fire was completed, I went back to the Wish Granter and asked for my wish. 
 
 `` I wish for food,'' I stated coldly as I stared at the Monolith. 
 
 `` **YOU ONLY GET ONE WISH AT A TIME**,'' a voice in my head thundered. 
 
 `` Wh-what?'' I asked, confused. 
 
 `` **YOU ONLY GET *ONE* WISH AT A TIME**,'' the same voice thundered again. 
 
 `` What do you mean?'' I called out. 
 
 `` **THE CREATURE**,'' the mysterious voice thundered again, `` **CONSUME IT. **'' 
 
 I looked at the creature, and then at the Wish Granter, and then back at the creature. I did not go hungry that night.
