[ WP ] Tomorrow morning you wake up as usual , except for one tiny detail : you 're now a dragon .

My clock radio popped on at the usual time. For once I was feeling relaxed and refreshed, an unusual occurrence considering my reading addiction and my typical sleep schedule. I was feeling great, actually. That perfect `` my bed is just the right temperature and it would really be too much bother to get up'' feeling, nice and muzzy and warm. My talk radio guys were blathering on about the usual hoo-ha and so I rolled over to get another ten minutes in before getting up for work. 
 
 I was startled fully awake by the thunderous crashes and sounds of splintering wood my movement made. My eyes slammed open and I was shocked to see rather than the generic white ceiling of my bedroom, the wide blue morning sky, framed by the side of my house and the rest of my backyard. I did n't recall planning a backyard camping trip... 
 
 I look down towards my feet and the house and it appears that a giant red serpent has smashed through the wall of my house, narrowly missing the air conditioner. I scream in terror, but rather than the high pitched girly scream that I expected, there is a tremendous, earth shattering roar. I put my hands up to my ears, only to see a pair of massive arms crash through the wall of my house, sending chunks of wall flying and smashing the air conditioner. 
 
 I scream/bellow again and then I figure it out. That's my neck. Those are my arms. The serpent is me. I crane my prodigious neck carefully to get a better view, then pause to marvel at the fact that I can crane my neck. It's really quite long and I can somehow tell exactly where it is. I experimentally bob it up and down and twist it around. Hey, wow, I can look behind me! I can see the ground and the wreckage of my wife's planters. In fact, I can coil my neck around in a loop. 
 
 I start to get a bit dizzy at all the looping and I carefully unwind my neck to take a look at myself. My neck ( ok, it's still weirding me out ), where it projects from the side of the house, is about two feet in diameter and it tapers slightly as it goes up. It's maybe 15 feet long and covered in glistening crimson scales. My arms are sticking through the sides of the house and are similarly covered in scales. I flex my hands experimentally and they feel just like my normal hands, but they are knobby and bumpy and each of my five fingers terminate in glistening claws. It's going to be a bitch to type with those things. Gives a whole new meeting to `` hunt and peck'' typing. 
 
 * ( to be continued ) *
