[ WP ] Write a murder from the perspective of a cheerful inanimate object

I've always felt like I've had a purpose: a role that I could be proud of. This quaint, little household has been the entire world to me, ever since I moved from the exciting, socially thriving life I had on the 3rd shelf on Aisle 4 at the general store. But this is nice too. The pleasant, quiet solitude really grew on me. The few close friends I have make for good company, and my owners really make me feel useful. It was a pleasant, simple life. That is, until last night… 
 
 He came home drunk, as usual. The keys in his hand made me assume he had just driven home. After pouring a whiskey on the rocks into me, he held me loosely in his hand, sipping often. He was loud enough to wake his wife up, who I thought had gotten used to his behavior by this time… but no. She exploded in a rage-filled slew of angry and colorfully worded insults that made me cringe. I could feel his firm hand tightening around me, although the cold ice inside me helped numb the pressure of his squeezing grip. After hearing enough, he went up to go to the bathroom, although he was probably just trying to get away from her incessant yelling. 
 
 He had left me alone, which his wife quickly noticed. After staring at me ominously, she started to move toward the cupboard, all the while keeping me in her sights. She pulled out a container of peanut oil, which she then started to pour into me. She then added more whiskey and ice, probably trying to offset the odd flavor combination. 
 She knew he was allergic to peanuts. 
 
 He came out of the bathroom, and she insisted that he finish his drink and get to bed. After looking at her with a raised brow, he complied. He picked me up, took a small sip, and was writhing on the ground within moments. He dropped me from very high up, but I didn ’ t break because I ’ m made of a strong ceramic. She watched us both lie on the floor until he stopped screaming. She put me in the dishwasher, where I was unable to sleep for the rest of the night. 
 
 I have n't left the dishwasher since. 

