[ WP ] You 're a bomb defuser . Ranked number one , saving thousands of lives . Your trade secret ? You have no idea what you 're doing .

You ever seen a home made nuke? 
 
 How about eight of them in a room, all set to one trigger system? 
 
 Well... that's what I am looking at right now! I do n't know why whoever set this put all eight in one room. I mean I'm no nuke expert but would n't like the first one going off cancel out the other seven? 
 
 I sat there looking at the laptop that had a timer ticking down. There was some hacker in here trying to some how... i do n't know break the firewall to get at the... router or something? The only hacking I know about is from shit tv... 
 
 And that's where I got my bomb defuser `` skills''. Ass loads of shit tv and action movies. 
 
 I do n't know how i got this job or how i have n't killed myself and others with my random guessing. Hell I took the praise and rewards and all... 
 
 But sitting in here now, watching the timer tick down... I felt like a total fraud! 
 
 I sipped my soda and looked at the screen. A part of me thought about just clicking the start button on the windows screen and hit shut down but the hacker said something about it being booby trapped. There were no wires I could see and the bombs were sealed shut in some cases, also booby trapped. 
 
 I just sat there, can of soda in hand. 
 
 `` Fuck it.'' I said as I poured the soda on the keyboard. I figured I could try something before being blown to hell. 
 
 The laptop wigged out and died. I sat there in silence... 
 
 Nothing blew up. I closed my eyes and forced myself not to cry. 
 
 Soon the police and some men in black suits ran in. The men in suites were CIA, explained to me that this set of bombs were part of a chain. There were clusters of nukes spread out across the US and if these went off then pretty much this half of the earth would have been vaporized. 
 
 I was a hero! And I still have no idea what I am doing!
