[ WP ] You are an omnipotent god . Out of boredom you decided to live an ordinary human life vowing not to use your power . 15 years has pass and you have a 9 to 5 working for a major tech company . Your boss has been tormenting you for years and you have reach your limit

I know a little bit about laws. Having created, tested, and managed the Laws of The Universe, annotated ( o.c.t.u. ) §19-6-15 makes me something of an expert. So when Andrew, the `` Chief Experience Officer'' of the firm I need to be constantly reminded I am so lucky to work for, explained to me that this new pay cut is actually an opportunity and an increase, I took exception. 
 
 The last time we had had this conversation, my patience had not been yet exhausted, so I was happy to school him on the Iron Law of Wages, and the sticky-wage theory. Which of course was to no avail, due in no small part to the fact that he Knows All. So when his arrogance and self congratulation surrounding my new pay began, I was in no mood. 
 
 `` Why do you think you deserve the market average pay?'' He asked. `` We're not talking about the average here, we're talking about you!'' And when I countered with a modest pay increase instead: `` You've never made that much money before. Why do you think you should get it now?'' 
 
 I knew I was wasting my time when I outlined all the impossible goals I had achieved that he had set for me since the last pay-cut. `` Yeah, but'' he said, `` I do n't really need any of that. I did n't really care that you created an in-house design department that saves us thousands of dollars a year and countless hours of lost time. It does n't matter that we now have complete design independence and total control of our process. What I really need is ( insert deflection here )...'' 
 
 `` Besides,'' he stammered, `` what's to stop you from just demanding more money in a week, or a month, when somebody at a party tells you how much they are making? What about LOYALTY??'' 
 
 No one ever challenges Andrew, his fragile ego ca n't handle it. So I knew I was wasting the breath necessary to remind him that last year, when the entire marketing department walked out en-masse, I had stayed and ran the entire department alone until it could be rebuilt. Inconceivably, realization dawning on his smug face, his response was: `` I forgot about that. ” When pressed he countered “ What do you mean the fact that I forgot about a whole department quitting is an indication of what a great job you did insulating me from the consequences? I am shocked at the insolent way you are speaking to me. If you'll talk like this to the CEO of your company, how are you talking to my customers??'' 
 
 So he came to my new salary: $ 22,000 a year. Which I should be thankful for, by the way, and which he arrived at using a new, proprietary type of math previously unknown to the universe. Andrew informed me that my pay cut was actually a 6 % increase, and that maybe we can review it again next year. I unceremoniously replaced the cap on the ink pen I had been fidgeting with, and made A Decision. 
 
 `` Do n't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining, Andy...'' He hated being called'Andy'. 
 
 It does n't really matter what he said next, what objections he offered. It is totally irrelevant what threats, lies, or web of bullshit he tried to construct. I had made A Decision. 
 
 It was n't going to be like this anymore for humanity. The 15 years I had spent on Earth as a human was meant to be something of a `` vacation life''. I had earned it, after all. It is stressful being the General Manager of The Universe. God. Allah. Iehovah. The Lord. For eons of eons I had been involved in every single tiniest aspect of the workings of the multiverses I had created. Every electron. Every molecule. Every ant, human, dolphin, or voidhawk. Every entity: nano-, meta-, or tera- life. The spinning of the planets, galaxies, and universes, all at my design. But now: Andrew. Vacation, over. Time to be God again. 
 
 In the six days it took me to alter the code of My Creation, a mere six seconds passed for humanity and Andrew who so desperately wanted to be part of it. When I was finished, I wanted to say to this horrible person something like `` AND YOU WILL KNOW I AM THE LORD WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANCE UPON YOU!''. But then I remembered that that particular famous line was actually written for an actor named Samuel Leroy Jackson in some movie, and that the real passage was n't nearly as impressive. Instead, I just let it rain piss on him right there in his chair and all over his desk. 
 
 Piss and rain are now permanently reversed for Andrew and bosses like him. Any time it rains, a torrent of piss will fall down on Andrew, wherever he is. Every time he has to pee, the sweet relief of an empty bladder will not come until it again rains. He will forever piss rain. 
 
 He carried on screaming and shrieking until I snapped my fingers making thunder for effect and stopping the downpour. Then, while he was unable to move, other than hopping furiously from foot to foot trying to ease his aching bladder, I explained to him his new situation. He begged me to reconsider of course, but it was so hard to take him seriously all covered in piss, wetting himself, rain flowing down his pant leg. 
 “ It's raining on your leg Andrew, that's not piss. Get used to it. This is a blessing, really, not a curse. Stop whining, it will be good for you to overcome a little adversity, besides, you should be grateful to be alive. We'll see how you perform in your new position, and maybe we can review it again next year... ”
