[ WP ] With a gun pointed at your head , you 'll have to explain to your next door neighbor the reasons why you 're naked inside his house , why his wife is knocked out in the bathtub , and why there 's a hole six feet deep in the middle of the living room .

`` Um... we're all going to have a good laugh about this one day'' I said softly as the nozzle of my neighbor ’ s pistol presses firmly into my temple. `` Well I'm not laughing now, what in the ever loving fuck is going on in my house?'' His voice rose as he moved through this sentence. I take a deep breath, careful not to make any sudden movements, and start to explain. 
 
 `` Just calm down Frank. We've been neighbors and friends for a long time. The last two weeks, while you have been on business travel there have been some changes in the neighborhood.'' 
 
 `` Two weeks ago, right after you left, it was discovered our entire neighborhood is in a sink hole zone. This is a result of these big damn oil companies using the ground to store their fuel. `` Natural'' wells in the ground have been drained and filled with fracked oil. This has caused a lot of these sink holes all around the neighborhood. Because of this, our property values have plummeted, yes in just two short weeks we've lost nearly 80 % of our property value. So much so, that our entire neighborhood was purchased and turned into a nudist colony, if that's what they call them these days. You may have missed the sign at the entry to our community `` Naked Acres''? That should have given it away. Anyway, I'm like `` when in Rome'' so I've embraced the naturalist movement. I think given time, you will too. It's very freeing. 
 
 `` Well'' he exclaimed, still pointing gun at my gray matter, `` that explains the giant hole in the floor and you being naked, I suppose. But why are you in my home, and why is my wife passed out in the tub?'' 
 
 I was breathing easier, `` When a sink hole appears it makes a near earth quake type rumble. I heard this coming from your home. When I looked out the window I could see your house shaking and your wife must have been showering when the sink hole happened, I'm guessing she hit her head on the way down.'' 
 
 `` I ran over to see if everything was alright, knowing you were out of town.'' I continued, `` I found the hole, and your wife in the positions you see right now.'' 
 
 `` So you see now why this looks so interesting'' 
 
 “ Yeah, right! ” Frank pulls the trigger. 

