[ WP ] The Big Bad 's fortress thought they were prepared for anything , but nothing could prepare them for a speedrunner .

`` My lord!'' The knight-messenger knelt before the dark lord. `` The heroes have arrived! Reports show that they are absurdly unprepared to face us, and have fled from even the weakest of creatures within the keep! They were also seen slamming their bodies pathetically against a pillar, over and over, so clearly they are breaking mentally under the knowledge of your power!'' 
 
 `` Excellent! Soon there will be nothing in my way!'' the dark lord cackled. 
 
 Then another knight-messenger shuffled in, kneeling before the dark lord. `` My lord!'' the messenger huffed, `` The heroes have been seen on the second floor! They... they were never sighted in the Endless Staircase or the Elevator of Doom! They were just... there all of a sudden!'' 
 
 `` Fascinating... but my trusted lieutenant is stationed on that level. They will certainly destroy the heroes.'' 
 
 Another knight-messenger ran in, and the dark lord was confident of the news he carried. Yet... `` My lord! The heroes have slain the lieutenant!'' 
 
 `` WHAT?!?'' 
 
 `` They threw the legendary sword Excalimune at their head, slaying them, instantly!'' 
 
 The dark lord laughed. `` What fools! To have wasted such a powerful weapon on but one of my many minions! The third level of the keep has the Fyve Fyends! Their dark elemental powers will crush the heroes, as they have foolishly thrown away their legendary weapons.'' 
 
 Another messenger. `` My lord! The Fyve Fyends have been slain! The heroes threw the legendary swords Excalimune at their heads, slaying them instantly!'' 
 
 `` What.'' 
 
 Then, that instant, the four heroes were there, in his chamber. They did n't enter from the door, but instead rose from the floor near a large pillar. They flew twenty feet in the air, sliding vertically, before falling off and landing on the floor of the room. 
 
 They were all dual-wielding the unique, legendary blade, Excalimune.
