[ PI ] You 're the lone survivor of a zombie apocalypse simply because zombies are n't interested in you .

The smell of rotting testies filled the air. That's just something no man can get used to. That buoyant smell plus how hot it was made me very claustrophobic. I pulled out my emergency can of Axe Dark Temptation Body Spray and doused myself. Why not refresh myself and the air around me while also cooling off? These numbskulls did n't care anyway, they never had. I'd spray them right in their eyes and they would act like it did n't even burn -- act like they could n't even see the man spraying it. 
 
 The Walking Dead had just entered its 23rd season. Daryl was still handsome as hell, but we all missed Shane. Either way, that show was all we as a world had to prepare ourselves for this, and there was one point that was surprisingly accurate -- zombies love biting black people. I think they are little racist sons of bitches but that's just one man's opinion. That's why I was so confused as to why they had no interest me. 
 
 I saw one off in the distance. It had the same hunched-over stance as the rest of them. I picked up a large rock and ran towards him so I could smash his head in but when I got to him I noticed something -- he was smiling. The weirdest group of goosebumps ran down my body. Like the kind when it's the middle of summer and it feels like you might have diarrhea but you're in no position to go to the bathroom and your stomach is gargling and goosebumps start popping up but it feels so weird because you're like sweating and uncomfortable. It was similar to that. 
 
 I hurried and pulled out my can of body spray and shot the last of it in his face. He flinched and held his hands up to his eyes. I flinched from his flinch. What the...? He moaned in pain but in less than a seconds time he dropped his hands and latched onto my arm, sinking his teeth into me. I knew this was the end. It stung but I managed to grab the rock and hit him over the head with it, knocking him out. I backed away trying to catch my breath and figure out what just happened. I looked at my arm and saw he had n't even broken the skin, there were just two little divots where his K9's had tried to stab me. What a pussy. 
 
 Seeing his lifeless body lie face down made me happy. I kicked him over to his back and as I looked down at him my stomach dropped. Like when you're on an airplane and the fasten seatbelt sign comes on and you're not too worried but all the sudden you see the flight attendants run to their seats and buckle up and as the captain is announcing the rough air ahead the plane feels like it drops like 900 feet. It was similar to that. That thing that bit me was n't a zombie at all. It was a man. What must have been a very hungry man. I finished him off with a few more strikes to the head and decided to head home. I realized sometimes just because zombies are n't interested in you does n't mean you're not wanted.
