[ WP ] You are a quack doctor who discovers that , miraculously , one of your `` miracle cures '' really does cure everything .

August 18, 1871 
 
 Dear Journal, 
 
 Today I have heard news of the great success that was my special tonic. From Dodge City to Tombstone everyone has been raging about it. Unfortunately, it seems as though I am stuck here en route to California, as my horse has thrown a shoe and has made itself lame through the endeavor. I suppose I did turn too quickly once I realized the man had not cursed the name of Dr. Ezekiel Bottomdollar, yours truly. However, all my various concoctions now lay on the side of the road. And I have forgotten which tonic it was that I sold them.
