[ WP ] Doctors have found out the use of the appendix , and it is not good .

`` Yes, it is a loophole, no that does n't change our position.'' Saint-Peter impatiently drummed his fingers on his lecturn, dreaming of the day he'd be allowed to retire. 
 
 `` But I did n't know! That's not fair!'' Steve's eyes were wide in pannic, hands gripping tightly on the lecturn's lip. 
 
 `` That's kind of the point. The appendix is where we keep your soul.'' Saint-Peter flipped his heavy, bound register closed with a thunk and sat back in his chair, hands on his belly `` Usually, in the good old days, when you'd sin enough it would burst, you would die and you'd go to Hell.'' he lifted up and shook his hand `` But noooo, you had to invent *medicine* and *sanitation* and got it removed before it was infected. Now you have no soul, no Heaven, no Hell. Purgatory is where you'll go.'' 
 
 Steve stepped back `` Wait, if I have no soul, how can I even exist here?'' 
 
 Saint-Peter sat back up and crossed his hands on his thick brown book `` Have n't You been listening? Here's a pamphlet it will spell it out for you.'' he withdrew a folded piece of white papyrus, inlaid with gold text and bent over his podium to hand it to Steve. 
 
 `` Thiiiis - `` Saint-Peter waved both his hands in circular motions in front of Steve's face `` Is a'Souls Only' club, Youuuuuu'' at that he motionned up and down 
 
 `` Have nooooo sooooul.'' he made jabbing motions left and right with his hands. `` Also, the party down stairs does not want you because the price of admission is *one*'' Saint-Peter jerkingly lifted up his index finger to Steve's nose `` soul which you do not haaaave.'' By this point Saint-Peter was soo far forward on his lecturn, he had to place his feet on his chair. 
 
 Not over, will continue at breaks.
