[ WP ] You have a rare condition that makes it so that you can only speak in snappy one liners and comebacks .

Alright, tonight's the big night. God, how did this even get arranged, is it usual for your therapist to set you up on a date? Just another exercise Dr Rosan likes to pull about once every year. I'm making progress though, at least that's what she said. Stop. Got to avoid falling into think-liners, remember? OK, you got this, I mean she must have explained to this girl. Just focus on your response and do n't go above PG material. Oh my God, here she is, red rose in her hair, blonde, tall, yup, here we go... Oh God. 
 
'Jimmy, you're Jimmy right?' 
 
'You aint wrong' 
 
'Haha, my aunt said you were funny' 
 
'Says a lot about her sense of humour, guess there's no therapy for bad taste' OK good, not too in your face, good side step of the so is your face bit, God that was hard. 
 
'Good one, so where are you from Jimmy, you live around here?' 
 
'I'm from a little town, they're so backwards even the residents ca n't find it on a map!' 
'Ok, umm, where is that?' 
 
'Where is it? Well you head south and if you see a library you know you have n't gone far enough!' 
 
 Jesus, she's flinched at that one. Remember the technique, breathe, think deep, do n't respond too quickly, evaluate, try asking her question you managed that alright in the last session. 
 
'So what about you, you *ahem*, date often?' Shit, here it comes... 
 
'Well, honestly, it's been quite a while since my last one, I was in a relationship for a couple of years until -' 
 
'He got his sight back?' 
 
'... excuse me?' 
 
'Jesus, no, sorry, I just mean you're stunning, blindingly so, whoah, I'm going to need a seeing eye dog after tonight' Did that work? Positive whiplash, can often be a good fallback, thanks Dr Rosen. 
 
'Ahh, haha, you're a little strange are n't you? I like that to be honest, I've been so bored lately.' 
 
'Bored? Do n't tell me about being bored, I wrote an entire screenplay about the paint on my wall drying last week.' 
 
'Classic! Are you always like this or do you just turn it on for all the girls?' 
 
'I'll turn you on'. Silence, here we go, I'll have Dr Rosen write an apology letter for me, God, what a stupid mistake this was. She's still looking down, another storm out just like last year with the speed dating, another failed experiment, though not a bad idea with Rodney Dangerfield syndrome, idea was that they would n't have time to figure out how messed I am, confidence building and all. Still looking down, please do n't cry. 
 
'Jimmy... I'm going to go the bathroom and then I'm driving back to my place. Mine's the white Mercedes on the corner, pay for your wine and meet me by the car. Tonight's your night, funny man.' 
 
 What the fuck, this is a first.
