[ WP ] The most mundane things done/written in the most dramatic way

The alarm clock buzzed as Phil rolled around the bed looking for his cellphone. The time was now 6:00 AM and Phil knew that this meant he still had one more opportunity to press the snooze button. As Phil layed and rolled, each minute felt like seconds and each second felt like fast seconds. Suddenly it was 6:15 AM and the snooze button was now unsnoozing. The sound coming from the phone was like a screaming woman giving birth to a 10 lb. baby. Phil awoke to this blaring sound only to realize that the fast seconds had tricked him. It was n't 6:15 AM it was 6:16 AM, his day was already starting off poorly. 
 
 Having to make up the lost minute somewhere Phil began hastily walking to the bathroom. Upon arriving he realized his morning erection would make peeing standing up rather difficult. Trying to avoid the splashing and uncontrollable spraying Phil decided to sit down on the toilet. He knew that he was man enough. Sitting down, Phil pushed his phallic member between his legs, holding it with his left hand while trying to avoid it touching the brim. Phil had n't washed the toilet in weeks but the drowsiness from a startled awakening was making the needed precision rather difficult. To complicate matters Phil's right hand was busy battling a Clash Royal member who's name was written in hieroglyphics, better known as 6 AM Chinese. While Phil finished shaking the few remaining drops, the Battle entered overtime. 
 
 Unprepared for this added minute, Phil did n't know what to do. Should he cancel the game? Should he continue playing? Perplexed with his new found situation Phil let out a fart. Phil did n't normally take morning poos, but the sitting on the toilet must have made his mind think he was ready to poo. A few seconds later and Phil let out a little poople. The kind you see little Chihuahuas leave on your sidewalk because your neighbor is a piece of shit. 
 
 The game was now secondary as Phil was in a new dilemma. Did he need to poo? Was it just one poople and that's it? How was he going to make up the lost time? To make matters worse Phil realized he had a facebook notification, he subconsciously opened the app and a couple of seconds later was watching a video of his friends kids doing stuff he did n't care about. 
 
 25 minutes later Phil did n't poo anymore than that one poople but was still sitting on the toilet. If it was n't for his legs going numb the cellphone comatose he was in might have lasted at least another hour. It was now almost 7 AM and Phil had n't even started to get ready. The panic set back in an Phil began to rush. There was no time to brush his teeth so he through some mouthwash in his mouth and gave it a quick rinse. 
 
 He did n't have time to pick out a new outfit so he put on his pants from yesterday and grabbed the first shirt he could find. He rushed out of his apartment almost forgetting to lock the door. It was 7:30 AM when Phil arrived at the subway and he had a solid 30 minutes to make it to work. If all things went smoothly, with no delays he could make it into the office right at 8:00 AM. 
 
 When he arrived at the subway the train was pulling right into the station and Phil realized that he actually had a chance to make it. Surprisingly enough the train ran with no problems and Phil was now running out of the subway with 5 minutes to spare. It was 8:00 AM when Phil entered his office building and by 8:05 AM he was at his desk relieved that the hasty morning all worked out. 
 
 By 8:30 AM Phil was in full work mode but he began to start fidgeting, something did n't feel right. After 15 minutes of uncomfortableness Phil started playing back the morning to figure out what was going on, and then it hit him. HE FORGOT TO WIPE! 
 
 
 

