[ WP ] On a bet , two lawyers try their hardest to get thrown out of court by a judge . Hilarity ensues .

Michael Controller and Geoffrey Remote were duking it out in the court room. A battle of wits, you ask? Why, of course. A battle over guilty vs. not guilty, a case of true legal proportions? Not so much! You see, Attorneys Controller and Remote were experts in their field. In fact, the famous closing argument scene in To Kill A Mockingbird was based on a closing argument that was originally given by Attorney Remote. And Attorney Controller is so persuasive when standing on the stage on which he was born to perform, that some people actually believe that he has the power of mind control ( even a couple of jurors believe this! ). These two attorneys among men, these gods among mortals, these whales amongst minnows, these two were sick and tired of boring court case after court case. They'd seen'em all! And won'em all, too! 
 
 Once again pitted against each other as they had been so many times in the past, Remote and Controller came to an agreement. They would remain rivals in the courtroom. But rather than argue over a case of legal rights, they would instead try to get thrown out of the court. And not just told to leave, either. Literally thrown out. Think Jazz in Fresh Prince of Belair thrown out. The winner would receive a $ 100 gift card ( bought by the loser, of course ) to a pastry shop of his choice. And the game was afoot. 
 
 -- -- - THE COURT CASE - ON A NICE, WARM, SUMMER DAY 
 
 `` Attorney Controller! Please stop dancing during Attorney Remote's opening statement!'' The request came at the behest ( enjoy that rhyme! ) of the calm, yet swift Judge Baboon. This judge was so respected that when he entered the room, people would n't just rise in his honor, but they would sing The Hymn of the Baboon, as well. And in case you're not aware, The Hymn of the Baboon was a song created by the City Council in honor of Judge Baboon. 
 
 Anyways, after Judge Baboon had finished his request, Attorney Controller gave his swift reply. `` But Your Honor, sometimes you just got ta let your moves do the talkin'!'' Judge Baboon looked down at Attorney Controller fiercely, eyes bulging and everything. Baboon knew how to look frightening when he needed to. 
 
 Caught off guard, Attorney Controller quieted. `` Now please, continue, Attorney Remote,'' requested Judge Baboon. 
 
 Attorney Remote spoke up. `` Ah yes, as I was saying before the prosecution interrupted me, my client is...'' Suddenly, Attorney Remote stopped talking and started dancing! 
 
 `` What in heaven's name are you doing now?!'' demanded an irritated Judge Baboon. 
 
 `` I'm letting my moves do the talking!'' came the reply from a carefree Attorney Remote. 
 
 `` Aaaarrrgghhh!!!!! Order in the court!!!'' Judge Baboon yelled while banging his gavel. 
 
 Suddenly, Attorney Controller piped in! `` Odor in the court?! I do n't smell anything out of the odornary...'' 
 
 `` Damn...'' Attorney Remote thought to himself. `` Controller really capitalized on my moves. Well he's got another thing coming to him...'' Looking at Judge Baboon, Attorney Remote politely asked, `` Your Honor, may I get my evidence?'' 
 
 `` Why yes you may,'' replied Baboon. Finally, this court case was getting somewhere. Baboon was tiring from old age. His mind was still sharper than all of the world leaders combined, though. Can you imagine being that old and still having to live with a mind so sharp?! Baboon sure could. It was happening to him! But noticing a creeping coldness in the air, Judge Baboon snapped out of his thoughts. He had a court to run. Attorney Remote brought in a freezer. `` Well this better be something pertinent,'' Baboon thought to himself. 
 
 `` Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I give you Exhibit A!'' announced Attorney Remote. Suddenly, Remote whipped open the freezer door, snatched up something inside it, and threw it at Attorney Controller. What was that something, you ask? A snowball, unbelievably! Attorney Remote had kept it saved up for months in case he ever needed to surprise someone with it on a nice, warm summer day. And today was that day! 
 
 Attorney Controller was looking angry. `` Your Honor...'' Attorney Controller grumbled. `` Gim me that gavel.'' 
 
 `` Why, Attorney Controller?'' asked Judge Baboon. 
 
 `` Now listen here Baboon! I'mma take your gavel and throw it at Mr. Remote!'' insinuated Attorney Controller. In the blink of an eye, Attorney Controller had grabbed the gavel and thrown it at Attorney Remote. 
 
 But as if he had true cat-like reflexes, Attorney Remote dodged! `` That's Attorney Remote to you, Controller,'' Attorney Remote claimed smugly. 
 
 Judge Baboon was getting sick of this. He looked over to the defendant. The defendant gave Baboon an innocent shrug. `` What in the name of The Law is going on here?'' Judge Baboon wondered. Even with his sharp mind, he just could n't completely figure out was his courtroom was currently being made a mockery of. But Baboon knew one thing for sure. He had to put a stop to it. 
 
...
