[ WP ] Write the letter that you always wanted to , but never did .

It's December 11th today. All day today, as it's been most days, my thoughts have been of you, and how I've hurt the one person who's loved me unconditionally, the mother of my beloved son, and the person I promised the rest of my life to. It would have been 10 years today. 
 
 I broke that promise. I regret it every single day. 
 
 Falling for you was easy. You're perfect. Finding myself was not. Is not. And it's not your fault, Lord knows I've blamed everybody else, but I ca n't ever blame you. I still do n't know where I am or where I'm headed. I know is it's led me to the temptation that resulted in this. I do know that I am working towards a way I can be of some use to you, to ease your burden and be a good father to our son. I'm not breaking this promise, babe. I repeat it to myself every morning. Hang in there, please. 
 
 I was blind, and could n't see how great I had it. My heart hurt from my failures and I felt like I might taint you and Nathan with them if I could n't somehow fix it. 
 
 I was selfish, and thought only of myself when I decided to entertain thoughts that should never have entered my mind. I insulted you, your whole family, and US. I do n't deserve the civility you still show me. 
 
 Please know that I love you with all my heart. You are an angel I didnt deserve. Please know that I do n't stop trying to ease your burden, and I do n't stop planning to be back for our son. One day it wo n't be a plan anymore. I'm so close. Sometimes all I want to do is share it with you, my best friend. 
 
 I do n't know how to thank you for all you've done, so I've just been rambling on. You're in my thoughts and my heart today, and always. 
 
 He is amazing, and it's because of you. 

