[ WP ] For some reason , gravity on Earth has disappeared . Everyone who was outside at the time has floated into space to their death . Luckily for you and your spouse you were inside when it happened . However , after a few days , you notice you are running out of food .

After the initial shock of gravity disappearing, it was actually starting to be a little fun. I ’ d always wanted to go to space and float around like the astronauts and here I was doing it in my own home. At least, I tried to tell myself it was fun. The first hour had been especially rough. Anyone outside had floated away into the sky the second their foot pushed off the ground and their cries had sounded like a choir directed by Satan himself. It was not a pleasant way to go either. Depending on how fast you were rising, you probably either froze to death or suffocated as you went higher into the atmosphere. That was just the people on foot too. I ’ d watched in horror as a bus full of screaming, helpless people floated up and past the apartment windows. It must have been going up the on-ramp nearby when gravity vanished. A few brave, or more likely crazed, souls had been trying to force open the doors. I shivered, shaking my head, trying not to remember the scene. 
 
 Shannon and I were running low on food and the question of how I was going to get more had been burning in the back of my mind for over a day now. Cell phones and internet still worked, but unfortunately, given the circumstances, Grubhub wasn ’ t delivering. A few government broadcasts had come over the TV and radio. Needless to say the situation was dire. They were the standard “ Stay calm and stay indoors ” message, but that doesn ’ t really help when you ’ re low on food and gravity. Thankfully we lived in D.C. and the grocery store was only 2 ½ blocks away. A quick 3 minute walk tops, or had been when there was a force holding you to the ground. Without it? I had no idea how I was going to get there. I floated around the living room trying to devise a plan, gently pushing off the ceiling, guiding myself slowly to the couch hovering a few inches off the floor. As I hit the cushions, my momentum carried me and the couch into the floor, bouncing off and then drifting slowly back towards the ceiling. I sighed, realizing how much we take gravity for granted as life without it was infinitely more complicated, something I hadn ’ t thought possible. As I focused on the problem at hand, my mind wandered back to the astronauts and suddenly an idea hit me. 
 
 “ Shannon! Bring me the backpacking rope! ” I yelled, a plan forming in my mind. 
 “ Just a minute, ” she called from the bedroom. 
 
 I was surprised she didn ’ t ask any questions, but then again she wasn ’ t taking the whole situation as well as I was since we hadn ’ t heard from her parents. I could hear her searching the closet and a few minutes later she floated in with the rope in tow. I only had 50ft, but it was only going to be my safety line. I remembered the astronauts used to be tethered to the shuttle or space station and used little jets to navigate around. I was going to attempt the same thing, albeit with a little improvisation. First, I needed to anchor myself. I decided to tie one end up the rope to the foot of our bed because it wouldn ’ t fit through the doorway. On second thought, I closed the door for good measure. Bracing my feet on the door frame, I pulled until I felt the bed bump into the door. Satisfied, I floated to the fridge. 
 
 “ What the hell are you doing now? ” Shannon asked, her voice a mixture of fear and curiosity. 
 
 “ Finding my propellant. I ’ m gon na be an astronaut ”, was all I replied as I rummaged through the fridge. 
 
 There they were. Two beautiful, unopened cans of Reddiwhip we had bought months ago when we had drunkenly stopped by the store for munchies on the way home from a coworker ’ s party. 
 
 “ Never thought Reddiwhip might my save my life ”, I muttered to out loud. 
 
 A groan from Shannon, “ Oh my god no. No, you ’ re gon na fucking die because of whipped cream. I can ’ t watch. ” 
 
 I opened the apartment window and poked my head out. Everything seemed normal, minus a few random objects floating by. I climbed out of the window, gripping the ledge tightly in my left hand and my trusty can of whip cream and aerosol powered propulsion in the right. Preparing myself for the experiment, I heard a laugh across the courtyard. Turning my head I searched for the source of the laugh until I see… him. There was this balding, slightly obese man who lived across from us on his apartment ’ s third floor. He was always out on his balcony naked in the morning. He was holding onto his doorframe, still naked, cackling maniacally and holding his junk. I swiftly came to the horrifying realization he was peeing and it was coming AT ME. 
 
 I whispered to myself, “ You ’ re an astronaut, ” aimed the can towards the ground and pressed the nozzle. Slowly I started moving up, gaining speed surprisingly fast. “ Yes! It ’ s actually working, ” I thought. I was abruptly jarred from my victory by the splat of liquid on brick as 5 feet below me and off to one side, a yellow stream of fluid hit the building. 
 
 “ Your aim sucks, asshole! ” I yelled at the naked man and gave him the finger. 
 
 He laughed harder, but fortunately floated back inside. I continued floating up the side and over the building until the rope went taut, leaving me around 10 ft above the roof. Righting myself, I surveyed the area, getting my first good view of the world since… the incident? The rising? Note to self, going to need to come up with a better name than “ The gravity disappeared ”. It was early afternoon and the summer sun was shining brightly overhead. There was not as much debris floating in the air as I imagined there would be. I guess most of it had already floated away. I practiced moving around with my whip cream thruster a little. Then, pleased with my idea and little test run, pulled myself down the rope and back into the apartment. 
 
 I floated silently in the lobby, staring out the door, scanning the street with a dry mouth and sweaty palms. This was it, the real deal. No anchor. No safety rope. Just me, two cans of whipped cream and an intense desire to not die. I took a deep breath and pushed open the door. Cautiously, I began to use my two cans to navigate up the street. I tried to stay close to the ground, doing little corrections with the individual cans. Progress was slow, but at this point I was a fan of slow. I passed the first block, and then the second. Almost there, one more intersection and then I ’ m gold I thought to myself. Crossing the last intersection, I hear a squawk and something rather large drills into my right side. Spinning out of control, I panic spraying whip cream in random directions, making things worse. Then came gut wrenching realization I ’ m moving away from the ground. Pointing the cans at the sky, I squeezed the nozzles as hard as I could. Gradually, I get my flight under control. Between my panicked spraying and reorienting myself, the cans are empty. Still spinning slightly I let go of the cans and snag the window ledge of a building as I float by. I try to slow my racing heart and get my bearings. Luckily I hadn ’ t been pushed as hard or as far off course as I thought and ended up on the dry cleaners across the street from the store. Aiming myself at the front doors, I gently push off towards them. 
 
 Gripping the door handles with white knuckles, a huge sigh of relief escaped me. I had almost been shot off into space by a damn crow. Wait. That crow was flying around. Birds could still fly, even with no gravity just like fish swam around in the water. The only issue would be stopping, but a plan was already forming in my mind. 
 
 I looked up to the sky as a huge grin spread across my face. I was going to do something I had always wanted to do. I was going to learn how to fly. 

