[ WP ] Write the Inaugural Address of the new President of the United States ; World of Warcraft legend Leeroy Jenkins .

**I totally misread the prompt but I'm gon na post it anyways. ** 
 
 
 The newly elected president stood behind the podium. Before him stood a sea of cheering Americans. On each side of him was a pane of bulletproof glass. He confidently tugged at his tie. It was a dark blue tie with a full windsor knot. The President leaned forward towards the mic slowly, glancing around the crowd with a smile as he did. He drew in a deep breath and opened his mouth to begin his speech. 
 
 But before he could say a single word, he was interrupted by very loud, deep, popping noises that shook that ground on which he stood. These sounds were followed by the sounds of screaming. Screams of agony and screams of fear. Plumes of smoke rose out among a sea of scrambling people. 
 
 The Secret Service agents surrounded the President, each facing outwards. `` Sir we have to leave now. Everyone stick together!'' As the circle of agents began to move backwards towards the Capitol, something caught the President's eye. It was a man in a mask. 
 
 The President knew that this was his moment of truth. He needed to show the country he was a true leader. A true leader should be fearless. The President knew what he had to do. He raised his arms in the air. The secret service agents looked at him bewildered. `` Mr. President you have to stay low!'' The President seemed oblivious to the advice of his protectors. His eyes had glazed over and his mind was on another plane. 
 
 `` All right, time's up, let's do this.'' the President said calmly. The President then broke through the wall of agents surrounding him and leaped off of the platform and into the crowd below while shouting his name. `` LEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYY JEEENNNNKIINNNSS!'' 
 
 `` Mr. President no!'' Shouted the lead agent chasing after him. The lead agent shouted to the others, `` Follow me! Stick together! Get to the President, form a perimeter, STICK TO THE PLAN!!!'' 
 
 The President cut through the crowd making a bee-line for the man in the mask. As he got closer to the man in the mask, more men in masks began to appear in front of him. Soon there were more than he could count. He was surrounded. The masked men charged at the President. 
 
 One of the masked men tackled the President to the ground. The man then stood up, grabbed the President by his tie, and began to drag him through the mud into the group of masked men. The masked men began to kick and beat the President mercilessly. The President's body soon went limp, unable to resist anymore. When he stopped resisting, the masked men took a few steps away from the President, still surrounding him. One of the masked men stepped forward. The man kneeled down and lifted up his pant-leg, revealing a very large combat knife. He grabbed the President by his hair and lifted up the President's head. The kneeling man looked the President in the eyes. The President could n't see the masked man's mouth but he knew the man was smiling from the squint of his eyes behind the mask. The smiling masked man thrust the knife into the President's side. 
 
 Just as the knife was plunged into the President, the Secret Service agents sprang out of a nearby crowd and began rushing towards the masked men. The President lay on the ground, his suit torn, covered in mud and bruises. The knife remained in his side and around it was a pool of red. Half-conscious, the president slowly lifted his head up from the mud to look at his agents. They were overwhelmed by the masked men. There were too many of them. One by one the agents fell. 
 
 The President knew that this was it. This was the end. He turned his gaze away from the sight of his falling agents. It was too much to bear. When he turned his head he felt something on the ground next to him. He looked. It was a paper bucket lying on its side. He reached for the bucket to turn the opening towards him. Slowly he managed to swivel the bucket so that he could look inside. The bucket contained fried chicken. Drumsticks to be exact. His favorite food. The President reached in and used his remaining strength to enjoy what he knew was his last meal. 
 
 The head secret service lay on the ground, his legs shattered by the ruthless stomping of the masked men. He was about ten feet away from the President. He used his arms to crawl towards the President. The adrenaline rush still masked the pain from his shattered bones. He got within three feet of the President before he could move no further. He turned his face towards the President, squinting. The President looked back at him, still lying on the ground covered in mud, but with a drumstick in his hand. The President appeared to be chewing. The agent sighed, `` God dammit Leroy.'' The agent's head dropped into the mud face down. 
 
 `` At least I have chicken,'' replied the President.
