[ WP ] Your guardian angel is less of a protector and more of a stalker .

Two seconds. That was all it was. Twice the length of one second. A long coin flip. A quick showdown. 
 
 Two seconds earlier and the red car on the street would have had time to stop. Two seconds later and the man in the jeans would have seen the red car and therefore almost certainly not have walked into it. 
 
 As it is though, he walked right into the path of it. The wally. 
 
 So there was nothing for it, she could n't just sit there and watch him die now could she? You got a few powers as a member of the Interdimensional Guarding Angels, one of which was the ability to slow time down to a stretch. In human terms anyway. In reality she need only plod slightly more methodically over the fabric of space time. She was a little drunk however. It was n't really supposed to be used except in emergencies. 
 
 Well this was an emergency dammit! Frenetically she stuffed a bunch of paper with little hearts dotted around the margins into her satchel and swung it over her shoulder. She downed the rest of the bottle of glowing liquid and dropped it onto the pavement where it did not so much smash as effervesce into nothingness. 
 
 Time slowed. Kind of. 
 
 She ran over to him, as the background behind her stayed frozen in almost perfect stillness. If one looked closely you would see a man dropping his armful of fruit as if suspended in treacle. A womans face scrunches slowly into a grotesque fashion as a car wheel going too fast sprays her with a heavy misting of puddle water. One might briefly inquire as to the originality of God for a moment, or if he is fond of cliches. 
 
 She runs in a wobbly line towards the man in jeans and snatches him off the road mid stride. It may be worth noting now that she looks a lot like a slim blonde woman, of the shorter stature. Her hair is cropped and slightly askew. Her eyes are burning with a fire that seems to overpower her brain. This was a problem. She forgot about inertia. 
 
 Inertia is the measurable amount that something at rest does n't want to go really fast. That was what she had written in her textbook in Abilties class. It was important. She remembered that much. She wrapped her little arms that concealed a whole dimension of strength gently around his waist and picked him up off the tarmac. She heard a loud low noise rumbling slowly outwards from the center of his torso. Then she remembered why it was important. It was the sound of his spleen exploding as he went from a walking pace to an equivalent speed of 85mph in 0.23 seconds. She looks up at his face, still frozen in normality, the electric signals which are inching their way up his spine to his brain wo n't arrive for several seconds yet. He's so handsome, she thinks to herself. I just wanted to help him. Maybe strike up a conversation about that book he was reading last week. She'd finished it now. She knows she could make him smile. 
 
 She stops at an alley and lets time flow normally around her, he continues at a brisk eighty miles an hour into a pile of garbage and a wire fence. She gasps a little too loudly. The man whose jeans are now somewhere else lies in a pile of newspaper and weird smelling liquids. He is quite clearly dying. 
 
 `` Shit.'' She looks worried. 
 
 There is a flash. A man appears inside of it. 
 
 The dying man groans at the bright light burning in his eyelids. `` Whaat happeend?'' 
 
 `` Stay away from the light Matt!'' The guardian girl shouts out, wobbling ever more outside of uprightness. 
 
 `` Liiite?'' Matt passes out. 
 
 `` Angel 29C3? `` The new man is wearing a suit and holds a clipboard under his arm. He looks annoyed. 
 
 `` Oh, hi boss.'' She turns around meekly. 
 
 `` Do n't call me that.'' He snaps. He looks around and sees the bleeding human in the garbage. `` Are you serious? This again?''. He visibly deflates. 
 
 `` I did n't mean to hurt him!'' 
 
 He sighs `` Give me the card 29C3.'' 
 
 `` He was going to be hit by a car! I mean that's what we're supposed to do right? Guard people?'' Her arms wave around. 
 
 `` Just give me the card, this is not the first time. You'll report for ten years retraining tomorrow in the home dimension at 0900 hours sharp.'' 
 
 `` But..'' 
 
 `` Now. Unless you want me to make it twenty years?'' 
 
 `` B-'' She catches herself and shuffles around inside her satchel petulantly. She finds the card and hands it to the man, hand trembling slightly. 
 
 The man looks at it, the name of the human, the relevant details of his life, his true love, his greatest fears, whether he is a dog person or a cat person. He looks long and hard at the hearts drawn around his picture to make a border. He sighs. 
 
 Without looking up he continues. `` I'll have the time crew come in a few hours ago and clean this mess up.'' There's a pause. `` This is n't his end date, so I'm sure he'll recover from the car crash.'' He says with a touch more emotion. He sweeps the card into the clipboard and stiffens up. 
 
 They stand in silence for a moment. Matt coughs blood erratically. 
 
 `` I'm not your boss you know.'' He kicks the ground at his feet. 
 
 `` Oh, boss. Sorry. I mean, I never thought.'' 
 
 `` Right. Of course not. It was a stupid thing to say.'' He turns swiftly on his heels as if to leave. 
 
 `` Wait, I mean I never thought you were interested.'' She blushes. 
 
 `` Oh. OH. Right. Well.'' He seems unsure, as if this was uncharted territory. 
 
 `` Yeah. Well..'' 
 
 The man seems to find some inner strength `` I guess a, erm, a drink tomorrow? When you get off retraining?'' 
 
 `` That would be wonderful!'' She's beaming. Still drunk. 
 
 `` Great! I mean ok. Right. Wonderful. I'll pick you up at yours then.'' Before waiting for an answer he flicks out his small pocket device. Presses a few buttons and disappears in a flash of light. As if afraid she would change her mind if he stuck around for too long. 
 
 The girl relaxes slightly and audibly coos as she shuffles up to the crumpled body of Matt conspiratorially. As if she's telling him the biggest secret in the world. 
 
 `` We would have been good Matt, I know we would. But I've got to go away for a while, and me and the boss are a better fit. Biologically speaking. You know? I'm sorry Matt but you're a wonderful guy. Amazing really. I'm sure you'll find a nice nurse after your car accident or something. Someone else will take my shifts so we wo n't see each other anymore, not that you could ever see me.'' 
 
 She places a soft kiss on his broken face before standing up and taking out her own device, pressing some numbers, giving a little `` woo!'' and a fist pump before flashing out of existence. 
 
 `` Whyyy...?'' Gurgled Matt. He tries to move but finds it causes him an incredible amount of pain everywhere. He's sure that nearly all his bones are broken. Pieces of the last minute crash through his brain. He feels very confused. 
 
 Suddenly he feels a slight tingle, radiating out from his center. He imagines he is dying. He is grateful. 
 
 In an explosion of movement, like an escalator suddenly moving while you have been walking up it, entirely expecting it not to move. Matt is rushed back onto the street, his arms and legs and spleen all where they should be. He pauses for a second, but not two, feeling a little put out. Begrudgingly he continues down into the street and tries to walk off the weird feeling something terrible has happened. Weird. He did n't drink last night. 
 
 Then the red car hits him. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

