[ WP ] You discover a talent for writing wildly successful choose your own adventure stories , but in the waning years of your career you realize they were all coming true ... .

My arthritis is bad today. 
 
 I feel like I got run over by a Dump-truck and trampled by wild dogs. 
 
 I wonder If I should go to the Doctor or stay home and watch Oprah. 
 
 I choose the Doctor. As I drive the station wagon my fingers hurt. 
 
 Suddenly a dragon swoops out of the sky and lands before me. 
 
 Should I get out and fight, or drive away? 
 
 I feel like I should know what to do. Little Timmy knew what to do. 
 
 I choose to drive away. The dragon steps on my car and I'm crushed. 
 
 Oh shit. I was supposed to fight the dragon. 
 
 Damn.
