[ WP ] You are stranded on a deserted island all by yourself for years , when you get rescued . You express your surprise that people are still looking for you after all this time , when one of the rescuers says that you 've only been gone for three days .

I lifted my weary face from the palms of my hands, 
 
 `` 3 days''... `` You're sure?'' I asked. 
 
 The rescuers nodded slowly through looks of bewilderment and concern. 
 
 The dried blood of 35 passengers who I had hunted and eaten since I arrived on the island, encrusted on my face. 
 
 `` How can that be?'' I turned from the puzzled rescuers, looking for Bethany the female I had made my cannibalistic life with, a ravenous sexual partner who I had chosen to populate this island with. 
 
 `` maaaaa'' she exclaimed. 
 
 She was wearing her best grass skirt and half coconut bras covered her 8 teats, a floral wreath adorned her shiny horns. 
 
 `` how dare you berate me in front of our saviours!'' I scolded her, knowing that I could n't stay mad at her. 
 
 The rescuers were slowly backing away... 
 
 Epilogue: That's the longest story I've ever written. The inspiration for the character Bethany was a brown eyed goat or sheep I have fabricated for the purpose of this story. Upon writing this I remember a reference to horns which may only be present on male goats or sheep.
