[ WP ] Metaphor and their sidekick Simile must take down the evil Dr. Pun !

Metaphor stood in the center stage of confidence, leering out over his battlefield. He was boiling mad at what had happened to his homeland, and wanted his vengeance. He held his sword in a vice grip and stormed down the muddy hill into no mans land, ready to face the music. 
 
 At his side was his trusty sidekick Simile, striding like a loyal dog at his side, smiling like a Cheshire cat and his notched his bow, ready to unleash hell. With surgical precision, he loosed an arrow which flew like a bat-out-of-hell at his target. That poor ellipsis never saw it coming... 
 
 A maniacal laugh exploded over the bloody battlefield. From the other side, Metaphor could see his nemesis, his rival, his antithesis, the evil Dr.Pun, riding his dinosaur, the dreaded Thesaurus. 
 
 `` Fools! you think you can beat me and my army of literary devices? There will be trial, you are both beyond sentencing!'' 
 
 Metaphor groaned 
 
 Metaphor moved lightning fast towards his enemy, all flash and glory, as Simile loosed arrows like a machine. But Dr.Pun was ready, waving his hands in a magical incantation, he projected a shield. He was glad he learned somatic magic now, it was really handy. As the arrows bounced off, Dr.pun did n't get the point of the attack. 
 
 `` Is this the best you can muster Metaphor?'' goaded Dr.Pun. `` Like a selfish beaver, I do n't give a damn!'' 
 
 Metaphor grumbled again 
 
 Metaphor continued to race towards the doctor, hacksawing through slang, jargon and tautology. He bulldozed oxymoron is a seriously funny way, and then plowed innuendo. He was finally in striking distance of Dr.Pun, and rocketed towards him, sword aloft. 
 
 Red Herring sat on a stump eating popcorn, it was pretty good, but he's had better. He bet if he put more butter on it he could make it better, but then again he's been trying to watch his figure and more butter would mean he'd have to jog more tonight. But tonight's the game and he did n't want to miss it. So Red sat eating his meh popcorn. 
 
 Like mixing chemicals in a suddenly elapsed beaker, Dr.Pun did n't have time to react. He did not draw his sword in time, and found himself cleaved by Metaphors fury. 
 
 The two dropped off the dinosaur into the mud, Dr.Pun gasping his last breathes. Metaphor stood over him in victory. Without his Thesaurus Dr.Pun was at a loss for words. 
 
 `` Why?'' He gurgled. 
 
 `` Because we have different ideologies Doctor'' said Metaphor, savoring his victory. `` You and I can not exist in the same literary battlefield. I Metaphor, therefore I am'' 
 
 Dr.Pun grabbed Metaphor's leg weakly. 
 
 `` Do n't spout your philosophy at me now, Metaphor'' He chuckled weakly `` That would be putting Descartes before the horse.'' 
 
 `` Shut the fuck up...'' Groaned Metaphor.
