[ IP ] There is a Trader who can be Found at the Edge of Things ...

The shadow-y man in front of me was very very scary. *I'm a big girl. I can do this! * I thought, waltzing onto the little platform thing in front of me. He still looked scary. But I wanted to talk him, so I was gon na do it. 
 
 `` Welcome, young one,'' he said. His voice was weird. It was kind of like my math teacher's voice. It put me to sleep easily and made me want to not pay attention. It was kind of smooth, too. Weird voice for a weird shadow man. `` Have you come to bargain?'' 
 
 `` Actually, no! I just wanted to talk,'' I said, pushing my blonde curls out of my eyes. `` I'm Jocelyn, and I'm eight. But I can count much higher than that! I'm smart like that.'' I smiled at him, but then stopped, because I remembered that I lost my front tooth a few days ago and I looked silly without it. 
 
 Shadow man looked at me. It was kind of creepy, so I started talking to him again so it was less creepy, because creepy people are weird. `` My favorite color is orange. Do you have a favorite color?'' 
 
 `` Black.'' He's not very fun. 
 
 `` Okayyyy... what's your name? How old are you?'' This guy is such a fart. I do n't like him very much, but he was the only person around, so I was gon na make him my friend until we found a way out of here. 
 
 `` My name has been forgotten. I go by the Trader. I am 18 thousand years old.'' Wow, he's ooooooold. Mommy told me not to tell that to people because they do n't like to hear it, but this guy was really old. `` You're old,'' I said. `` What do you like to trade?'' 
 
 The trader man thought for a moment. I could tell because he closed his eyes and breathed in and stuff. My papa says I'm very... per... perceptive? Yeah, perceptive! That has more letters in it than my age! He opened his mouth, and then stopped, then started again. He's definitely weird. 
 
 `` What is it that you would like?'' he asked. That was a weird question. There were sooooooooooooooooooo many things that I wanted. `` Do you really wan na know? Because there's a lot of things I want, trader man,'' I told him. You ca n't say I did n't warn him! 
 
 `` Yes. Tell me what you want.'' Okay! 
 
 `` Well, I want an ice cream cone, and I want my penguin because I love him and his name is Oreo and he's so soft and stuff, and I want a car, and I want to be president, and I want to see Mommy again, and I want Justin to like me, oh, he's the boy I sit next to in science, by the way, and I want a tattoo, and I want a puppy, and I want to be super duper smart and go to a really smart person school when I get older, and I want to be-'' 
 
 `` Enough.'' 
 
 This guy is really really annoying. He's just like Isaac. He's always getting into trouble and breaking things and he steals my American Girl dolls and he gets away with it because he's five and my parents like him more than me. He's talking again. 
 
 `` I can give you all of this, in return for one thing,'' trader man said. `` You must tell me where you come from.'' 
 
 THAT'S SO EASY!!!!!! 
 
 `` My mommy told me this! I live at 472 Safeguard Way, Dakota, Arkansas, 25617. My mommy's phone number is 893-284-1378, and my papa's is 893-831-2459.'' 
 
 `` Where is that? Be more general.'' 
 
 Hmm... `` It's in the United States of America. Which is a country on planet Earth, the best planet there is! Especially now that Pluto is n't a planet anymore. We became even better.'' 
 
 `` More.'' 
 
 `` Wow, okay. Um... the Earth is in the... SOLAR SYSTEM! Got it. And that's in the Milk and Cookies Galaxy. No, wait. Milky Way. You REMEMBER it by saying milk and cookies.'' I'm so proud of myself! I ca n't believe I could remember all that. 
 
 Then, a bunch of the stuff appeared. Look, it's Oreo! I ran to him, my face sinking into his plush and stuffing. And there was a puppy! And ice cream! 
 
 I looked at the trader man. `` Thank you so much, trader man!'' 
 
 The trader man turned to look at me. `` Oh, do n't worry. There is plenty more where that came from. If you'll just wait for a couple of moments, I'll be right back.''
