[ WP ] Afterwards , I lived .

Afterwards, I lived 
 
 I lived silently 
 
 So as not to draw attention 
 
 To the fact I was still here 
 
 
 I lived in whispers 
 
 Hiding in the shadows 
 
 Because every moment of happiness felt like a blasphemy 
 
 Against everything 
 
 That had happened 
 
 
 The greens and yellows of Spring 
 
 Felt too bright against the darkness 
 
 of loss and 
 
 too vivid 
 
 for my still-healing eyes 
 
 
 I caught myself laughing 
 
 One day 
 
 Four months later 
 
 
 My laughter died in my throat 
 
 As I remembered him 
 
 
 I caught myself again 
 
 Later that week 
 
 This time it lasted a little longer 
 
 Before it dissolved into tears 
 
 
 Again and again 
 
 I would catch myself laughing 
 
 Or smiling 
 
 Or simply feel the sunshine on my skin 
 
 and it would feel so wrong 
 
 Because he was n't there
