[ WP ] Faking Your Demise ( replies must be 1,000 words or more )

I had to die today. It was my only recourse, other than to go on living. I got the letter in the mail, it read, `` Fake death today, avoid death tomorrow.'' I knew instantly this was about the Liberty Bell. 
 
 Enter the messenger, the three witches, and the pirate. 
 
 Since the sundering, the Liberty Bell united the 14 neocolonies. It replaced the Statue of Liberty ( the first national casualty ); sat in a drab Scottish underpass with dazzling LED lights. Inside the walls were lit pink and there was black painted urban landscape. The center line colored an erratic LED blue. The Bell sat at one end, like a stone. The immovable object. It was monitored by web cameras. There were no guards. There was no need. 
 
 The messenger's name was Glacier Newspaper. His friends called him `` Yesterday.'' Yesterday came from the great common drinking hole. It was a place where animals of all types drank from the same source. Horses, bear, coyotes, and lemurs. Yesterday had a message for me. I was going to die. 
 
 The three witches; a ) Comic Sans Criminal b ) White Fang c ) Bad Religion. CSC was besties with WF. WF had a crush on BR but enjoyed CSC's gifts. Together they ate copious amounts of bacon. 
 
 The pirate: Elmore Leonard. The pirate had simple rules. Never open a book with weather. Avoid prologues. Never use a verb other than `` said'' to carry dialogue. Never use an adverb to modify the verb `` said.'' Keep your exclamation points to a minimum. 
 
 The pirate seduced the three witches using one strip of bacon. Yesterday lost track the next day. Elmore met me. When he did, I was sprinting towards the edge of the my 10 story apartment complex, on the roof. Our eyes met as my last foot left the ledge. He said one sentence, `` There's been a mistake.'' 
 
 The End.
