[ WP ] '' That 's it ! '' shouts the DM , `` You say I 'm too easy on you as a DM ? Well I 've got the dungeon of bullshit all lined up , none of you fuckers are making it out ! '' Let 's see the in game perspective

The party approached the cavern where the Great Beast lay, the promise of gold and riches lifting their spirits as they stopped before the mouth of the cave. 
 
 `` I think we should do an equipment check,'' said Erik, looking warily at the darkness beyond. 
 
 `` Remember when I stood on his shoulders,'' Buckthorn the Axe-crazed said to Ragnar, gesturing back at the rogue, `` and scared off the kobolds?'' 
 
 `` Yeah,'' said Ragnar dismissively, `` but remember when I punched that naga in the face?'' The self-proclaimed `` ninja barbarian'' flexed his arms. He looked in to the cave. `` I see... nothing. Man, it's dark. Let me try again.'' He squinted and thrust his face forward, muscles tense with concentration. He nodded. 
 
 Buckthorn looked into the cave, as well. He, too, nodded. 
 
 Erik looked at them expectantly. `` Well?'' They looked back at him blankly. `` What do you see?'' 
 
 `` Rocks,'' said Ragnar. 
 
 `` A floor,'' said Buckthorn, grinning. 
 
 The half-elf sighed and looked into the cavern himself. He saw nothing which stood out to him; no signs of movement, no traces of life. `` Alright, so I'll go in and check for...'' He trailed off as Buckthorn and Ragnar entered the cavern, arguing about who was going to lead the party. Erik rolled his eyes and followed cautiously. 
 
 Their voices echoed as they walked deeper into the cave. The darkness swallowed them. Ragnar stumbled on a low stalagmite and fell on his knees, grumbling angrily about how he should have been able to see it. 
 
 `` Who has a lantern?'' asked Erik. The darkness continued ahead of them, and even he was just starting to have troubles with the dim light. 
 
 `` I do,'' said Buckthorn. There was a cacophony of noise as he rummaged around in his pack. More noise followed as he struggled to light it. `` Why is n't it working?'' he said angrily. 
 
 `` We used it a lot when we were tracking those slavers,'' said Erik. 
 
 `` Which could have made us a lot of money, if we had just sold them,'' interjected Ragnar. 
 
 `` And?'' prompted Buckthorn. 
 
 `` Did you ever get more oil?'' 
 
 `` Oh, come on!'' exclaimed Buckthorn. `` Of course I would have gotten more oil! We were in town for days. I must have...'' he trailed off. 
 
 `` Well,'' replied Erik, `` obviously not.'' 
 
 `` Hold on,'' said Ragnar. He pulled a flask out of his pack. `` Put this in it.'' 
 
 `` Alcohol? Really?'' said Erik as Buckthorn took the flask. He backed away while Buckthorn added the liquid to the lantern and lit it. A low flame ignited and Buckthorn and Ragnar both exclaimed in triumph. 
 
 A green flash was all that alerted them before the displacer beast attacked, silently striking out at Ragnar with a tentacle. Buckthorn dropped the lantern in surprise. They fought by the dim, flickering light. The displacer beast got in a couple strikes before their weapons were drawn and then the party began fighting back. 
 
 `` What are you doing?'' yelled Erik as he dodged a tentacle. 
 
 `` Trying to hit him in the eye,'' roared Ragnar, missing again as he poked at the displacer beast's face with his greatsword. 
 
 Suddenly, a roar shook the cavern. Erik spun and saw an owlbear entering the cave. `` What the hell?'' he yelled as the creature ran at them. He engaged the owlbear while Ragnar and Buckthorn tried to fight the displacer beast. 
 
 Buckthorn stumbled against a stalagmite as he dodged. He moved to leap back into battle, but instead fell flat on the floor. Looking back, he saw gray tentacles wrapped around his ankles, and an eye slowly appearing in the stalagmite. `` What the fuck is that?'' he cried as a mouth began to gape beneath the eye. He reached for his axe as it began dragging him back. 
 
 Ragnar had finally given up the finesse and was hacking and slashing as the displacer beast danced around him, lashing at him with its tentacles. Ragnar got in a couple lucky shots, but he was slowing down. Something from the ceiling dripped on his head. The displacer beast froze, looking up. Ragnar took advantage of the pause and got in a good strike. The beast howled and disappeared. 
 
 Ragnar raised his sword in victory and something wet and sticky enveloped his hand. Looking up in surprise, he saw a long tendril of gray ooze wrapped around his fist. He tried to yank his hand down, but the tendril held firm as it slowly crept up his arm. 
 
 Buckthorn screamed as the tentacled stalagmite began to constrict his body, its tentacles covering him from shoulders to feet. It lifted his small, heavy body toward its mouth and ended his screams. 
 
 Ragnar was lifted toward the cave ceiling as the ooze continued to envelope his body. He slashed ineffectively at it with his dagger, cursing and yelling. His voice became muffled as the ooze pushed him into its core. 
 
 Erik tried to run from the owlbear, desperation fueling his exhausted feet. His battered, bleeding body stumbled across the cave floor. He was hit in the back by the enraged owlbear and crumpled into a heap against the wall. As the monster reared over him, preparing for the final blow, he moaned: 
 
 `` I told you guys she was pissed.''
