[ WP ] Write your own version of 'The Night Before Christmas ' but instead of Santa , it 's Satan

'T was the night before Christmas, and all through the house 
 
 Not a creature dared stir, not man or mouse 
 
 The children lay terrified in their beds 
 
 The socks hung in nooses to stop any dreads 
 
 The adults were crying tears of joy 
 
 As HE would not take their girl or boy 
 
 And I with my gold cross, and Mom with blessed water 
 
 Had gone to the bedroom to console her daughter 
 
 When sprung from the garden an array of screams 
 
 I stood and looked, as if to disprove my dreams 
 
 Away from the room, I grabbed a Bible book 
 
 I took the crucifix I stole like a crook 
 
 I grabbed holy water to comfort my head 
 
 And outside, I viewed, with a slight tinge of dread 
 
 A burning, slaying, pillaging chariot 
 
 Upon which lay Hitler and Judas Iscariot 
 
 And with fear in my heart I accepted the truth 
 
 Lucifer had come to reap my youth 
 
 Faster than a bullet into the head 
 
 His disciples came, and I heard, with more dread 
 
 `` Come Hitler, come Stalin, come Bundy, come Pot,'' 
 
 `` Come Judas, come Thatcher, come all those that rot.'' 
 
 To the window they live in, they ran with a skip 
 
 And, with a singular, solid tip 
 
 The window's seam broke, as did its latch 
 
 And the angel crawled into my room, but natch 
 
 He had shining brown hooves and a pallor of red 
 
 He had two goat-like horns that incited more dread 
 
 A knife was'pon its back, and we could tell 
 
 It was time for us to be sent back to Hell. 
 
 He cut down the nooses, and smiled a grin 
 
 To tell us there was no alcohol in the given gin 
 
 And he took the knife again, and with but one incision 
 
 Killed my wife without a hint of suspicion 
 
 My daughter was burnt till they saw but a crisp 
 
 And I: He cut my tongue out, due to my lisp 
 
 He gouged out my eyes so I could n't see 
 
 He tore off my ears so no hearing would be 
 
 He cut out my voice box so I could n't scream 
 
 Severed a cerebral cortex so I could n't dream 
 
 And knocked my head off, with a single, clean blow 
 
 And we all went down, so he could have a cup of Joe 
 
 And laugh at the families dragged down here, 
 
 And his final words, as he said in my ear, 
 
 `` Merry Christmas to all, and God saves the most,'' 
 
 `` But I bring down the bad ones to turn into toast.''
