[ WP ] 4chan and Tumblr are dating .

`` Well, of course woman should get paid just about as much as men! It's only fair. Same pay for same work!'' 
 
 `` Well, that's all for tonight folks. Great to have you here you Mr. White Knight!'' 
 
 `` Hey, my father was Mr. Whi- wait a minute, hey!'' 
 
 `` # SeeYouTomorrow. Twitter out.'' 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - 
 
 When twenty-something year old woman's rights activist Mr. Tumblr had stepped home from work that night, he was faced with the dreadful stench of Fritos, sweat, and hopefully refrigerated tuna. 
 
 `` Oh no. No no no no.'' 
 
 He kicked his shoes off and hung up his white jacket on a nearby coat-rack, running straight to the source of the smell. Tracking it down to his upstairs bedroom, he was faced with a familiar, annoying sight. 
 
 A younger, skinny red-head sat in the rolling chair at his desk with a thumb on a little controller. The girl was practically glued to the flashing PC screen on Mr. Tumblr's desk until she had heard the door slam wide open. Bright green eyes turned to the huffing man at the bedroom entrance. 
 
 `` What up, shitlord!'' said Four Chan before she dug her hand into a bag of Fritos by her side. `` How's white-knighting on Twitter Tee-Vee going along?'' 
 
 `` You... what the hell... why are you in my house?'' Mr. Tumblr was out of breath. 
 
 He had abstained from exercising for losing weight after hearing the story about the morbidly obese woman had who gained several layers of fat due to life choices and a lack of motivation to exercise. This was not a good move, for the fat lady and Mr. Tumblr. 
 
 `` Surprised, you faggot?'' Four cocked a grin and leaped over to the skinny white man. `` I just wanted to see my favorite angsty trans-black trans-sexual trannie boy every once in a while. Or whatever it is you call yourself now'' 
 
 `` Excuse me! I can guarantee you that I'm a 100 % pure, white cisgendered omnisexual male!'' 
 
 Four raised an eyebrow before breaking into laughter. She tossed her remote at the man's face before returning to her vidya games. 
 
 `` Why do you insist on using my computer whenever you come to visit?'' 
 
 `` Because laptops are fucking trash for gaming, you cunt. That's why.'' 
 
 `` They're not that bad. What're you, Reddit? Upset that you ca n't get 60 FPS on your... GTA 6 or whatever it's called?'' Tumblr asked, a little confused on what new misogynistic title was out for release now. 
 
 `` GTA V is a shit port with sub-par modding capabilities. The texture quality sucks ass and the only thing it has going for it is optimization on shitty fucking settings.'' 
 
 Tumblr walked over to the desk and put his hand on the girl's mouse arm. He poked her in the ribs to get her attention back to him. Unfortunately, she was too obsessed with doing whatever to pay any attention. 
 
 `` So, Four. I was thinking that while you were here, we could maybe... get some coffee or something?'' 
 
 ``...'' 
 
 `` Four.'' 
 
 ``...'' 
 
 `` Four!'' Mr. Tumblr shouted, a little louder this time. 
 
 ``...'' 
 
 ``... Jet fuel can melt steel beams,'' came the man's voice. 
 
 With that, the little hacker in the chair stood up and pinned the man to the wall with a crazed rage. She bared her poorly-brushed teeth which flashed menacingly against the man's wide, fearful eyes. Her hand reached up to his neck as she started to choke him. To anyone else, this was a very comical sight. To Tumblr, this just about set him on a trigger. 
 
 `` What the fuck did you just fucking say, you little bitch? I am trained in gorilla warfare! Gorilla warfare, you fucking ape! I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words...'' 
 
 For Mr. Tumblr, his trigger was, unfortunately, a very sexual one. One that had been built up by years of absorbed oppression and enlightenment on oppression. He had internalized all the hate against him into nothing short of the purest form of sexual fetish. Telling him to shut his whore mouth would do nothing more than give him half-a-stiffie. Beating him with a police brutality and mace has the effect of consuming three cubic tons of viagra. 
 
 `` God damn that's hot.'' He blushed furiously. Years of practice against being shut up by the likes of nearly every other sane person in existence had given him some of the strongest vocal cords in human history. `` Go on, abuse me more you child you.'' 
 
 With that, Four spat on his face and released her grip. She reached behind the man's queen-sized bedframe ( because king-size was offensive to fatties and woman ) and grabbed her clover-shaped bag. 
 
 `` Got a place in mind? For tonight, I mean.'' 
 
 `` Ooh, they just released that new Avengers movi-'' 
 
 `` NO.'' 
 
 `` But-'' 
 
 `` NO.'' 
 
 `` But, Robert Downey-'' 
 
 `` Disney ca n't make films for shit.'' 
 
 `` But, RDJ... and Loki... I'll pay for dinner.'' 
 
 ``... Fine, but we're going to that new pizza-place downtown after. I heard their deep-dish was the shit.'' 
 
 Four Chan would soon regret taking Tumblr's offer after waiting fifteen minutes downstairs to see him dressed as Hawkeye. Not because it was strange to see a grown man wear cosplay on his way to a children's movie, but because he had chosen Hawkeye and nobody normal likes Hawkeye. 
 
 Thankfully, these two are n't normal. 
 

