[ WP ] The world 's governments have just written the official Laws of Love , and thousands of people are already on trial for committing `` love crimes '' .

Philip slumped in his chair as the witness took her oath. He missed the witness; her name was Jeanie. She was quite gorgeous with red hair, full lips, and a large bosom. Her pink nails were peeking over her fingertips. Phil was scared, it was his trial after all. He had violated section 92, sub-section A of the love laws and Jeanie had turned him in. 
 
 His stomach twisted and he slumped further, the prosecution had begun but he couldn ’ t bear to listen. How could Jeanie do this to him? He had always given her his everything. 
 
 “ And when did you start dating Mr. Blanche? ” 
 
 “ Ummm… ” Jeanie looked upwards and pursed her lips. “ Probably in April of last year. Around then. We hooked up a couple times before that but it was nothing serious, ya know? ” 
 
 “ When you say ‘ hook-up, ’ do you mean kiss or sexual intercourse? ” said the prosecutor. She was a young woman, no older than 35. Her jet black hair barely met the collar of her pants-suit. 
 
 “ Just kissing, ya know, fooling around ” Jeanie said to the court. “ We would go on dates and he would walk me home, ya know, real romantic like. ” 
 
 Phillip thought Jeanie seemed happy as she publicly reminisced on their love life. He remembered those dates, how happy they were. Jeanie wasn ’ t the smartest girl Phil had ever met but she was so beautiful. The law deterred Phil from writing poems but he would have written 10 million sappy love ballads in another life. *I swim in your beauty, eyes of blue, such a cutie. Kiss me on the lips, kiss me on the chest, I miss those hips. * Phil was full of poems, that ’ s why he got into trouble. 
 
 The prosecution had continued. “ Ms. Lovegrove, please tell us about the night of December 24, 2523. ” 
 
 “ Well, Phil and I had just finished dinner. It was Christmas Eve so, ya know, we had a fancy dinner. Downtown and everything. It was so nice, all snowy, ya know? So as we were walking home we were talking, just about work and life, ya know? And then all the sudden… ” Jeanie seemed to pause for dramatic effect, Phil had always suspected she had turned him in for the notoriety, to be important. “ all of the sudden he said... ” 
 
 “ Please let us know what Mr. Blanche said. ” The prosecutor was clearly reveling in Jeannie ’ s dramatic touch. 
 
 “ He said… ” Jeanie muttered threw a quivered lip. “ He… He… ” Jeanie couldn ’ t finish her thought; tears began to stream down her check. “ Don ’ t make me say it again, please. ” 
 
 The judge motioned over to the bailiff; tissues were produced. Phil hung his head. 
 
 The prosecutor walked over to her desk, ruffled through some folders and picked up a paper. She cleared her voice and began with great theater. “ On December 24th, 2523, Jeanie Lovegrove walked into a police station, distraught. She reported to Officer John D. Wilkins that her boyfriend, Mr. Phillip A. Blanche, had broken the law. After officers were able to calm the crying and terrified woman, Ms. Lovegrove reported that Mr. Phillip Blanche said the following: Baby. ” There were murmurs from the crowd. 
 
 “ Cutiepie. ” The murmurs became louder. Phil could see Jeanie rock in shakes of sadness, he could barely hear her whimpers over the growing noise of the crowd. 
 
 “ And...'' the prosecutor scanned the angry mob. `` Snuffle-puffle-pie. ” There were audible gasps. 
 
 “ You monster! ” Rasped a voice behind Phil, a tomato splashed on the desk in front of him.
