[ WP ] After amassing an astonishing number of unmatched socks from laundry day , you decide to investigate where the corresponding socks have gone .

I counted the socks many times now, ten went into the dryer and ten came out, but they were different. Af purple sock with red stripes was now a red sock with purple stripes. One of my kitten socks turned into a fish sock, a fish sock had turned into turned into a real fish. 
 
 
 It ’ s been months of this, my socks were not just disappearing, they were being replaced. People deal with lost socks all the time, but having them replaced felt like something was mocking me. Having a fish flop out of the dryer was just ridiculous. I ’ d have kept the fish but my cat, Mr. Kitty, ran off with it. 
 
 
 This was unprecedented and I needed to figure it out, where were my socks going and why they being replaced? Of course the plan was simple, I could just tape a wireless camera onto the door of the dryer and catch the culprit in the act! The plan was so devious and clever I hardly believe I came up with it on my own, but it just goes to show how smart I am. 
 
 
 I gathered up some of my least favorite and most soiled dog face socks and threw them in with the camera. All I had to do was watch the screen and wait. What could it be? Will they just vanish, maybe little hands will come out of the holes and pull things in. This was more exciting than the day my Mom left out the channel block password. 
 
 
 The timer was set, sixty minutes, certainly plenty of time for whatever was going to happen would happen. I sat down at my computer and brought up the camera ’ s feed, the light was bright enough to see everything, absolutely perfect. Now I just had to wait. 
 For the next forty five or so minutes I spent my time between watching the feed and perusing my many dating profiles, no hits yet. Perhaps some more of my *Supernatural Dr. Who* crossover slash poetry will pull in some guys; men love that kind of stuff. 
 
 As I was coming up with my next masterpiece I had realized my neglect, the camera feed! No longer could I see the inside of the drier, instead it was a ceiling and some walls. A room! This was it, the feed must have caught the culprit and now I could see where my socks had gone. 
 
 I waited longer than I could count, maybe twenty seconds, when a flash of movement caught my eye. Whatever it was, it was big and furry and getting bigger. This monstrosity reached out for my camera, no fingers, just claws. This terrifying visage of meat destroying claws had been stealing my socks, what monster could it be? 
 
 No sooner had I asked myself this question I had my answer, a horrifying face came into view. A flat pink nose with two holes, obviously to smell it ’ s victims from afar. A smiling face hiding it ’ s sharp teeth. Two big eyes to look into its victim ’ s soul, two triangular ears to listen to the heartbeats of people hiding from it. The monster opened its mouth and let out a roar, “ Meow? ” 
 
 Meow? Wait, I recognize that monster, it ’ s a cat, my cat! Now I realize where I had seen that room before, my bathroom! I rushed in and found the camera sitting in the litter box, Mr. Kitty trying to bat it around. 
 
 
 I had been fooled, whatever this was caught onto my brilliant plan and placed it in the litter box. Obviously signifying that my plan and therefore my entire life belonged in it, my blood was boiling. I had not been this angry since my parents forced me to do my own laundry and discover this terrifying truth of the dryer. 
 
 What I did next might not have been the smartest thing I had ever done, but it was certainly the most brilliant. I would just have to sit in the dryer myself and wait to be whisked away by the thing stealing my socks and telling me my plans are poopy. I super glued some of my old body pillows to the inside of the dryer, set the timer and jumped in. Using my brilliance I simply broke out the plastic window on the dryer so I could press the start button. 
 
 The next hour I was a rolling ball of emotion, round and round I went, part angry and part terrified. What if it didn ’ t take me? What if it really was a giant monster that liked to eat socks and perfectly normal women like myself? The ideas rolled about in my mind, and just as I was about to call it quits everything stopped moving. 
 
 Looking around I found myself in a dark place, a place I had always feared, the attic. For years I had heard scratching up here. My Dad told me it was just rats and maybe I could get a job to help pay for the exterminator bill, but I knew he was just trying to keep me from knowing the truth. I was too scared to find out the truth, but I was here now, there was no going back except through the open door next to me. 
 
 On the other end of the attic was a small light, an old night light I had thought was thrown out. In the same area there were cat toys I thought we had lost. The monster wasn ’ t just stealing from me, it was stealing from my cat. Who would want to steal from a cat? 
 
 In front of me was the answer, a book that looked like a journal with words written in it, almost like a diary or a log or some other way to keep records. Strangely they were not just any words, it was written in all meows. I knew cat fluently and began to read. 
 
 “ I have brought the toys paid to me, the fools will never see their socks again. ” Ah ha! Here it was, proof that somebody was taking socks, paid in cat toys for services rendered. I skipped a few pages for no reason and read on. 
 
 “ I finally have all the cat toys and catnip I want, but was it worth it? The spell is getting out of control, socks are changing color and one of my fish vanished. I was able to get it back before Sarah could take it. ” I know that name, it ’ s my name. And the fish, my cat found the fish and took it. This was so awesome, I have a cat that knows spells! 
 
 I rushed downstairs and found Mr. Kitty sleeping. “ Mr. Kitty, I have some socks for you. ” His ears perked up. “ And I found your book about taking the socks. ” 
 
 He shot up and stared at me, he was frozen in place. “ Meow? ” He asked. 
 
 “ No, I think it ’ s so cool you know how to cast spells. Next week is the Cosplay convention, we ’ re both going. ” 
 
 Mr. Kitty stood up and jumped through a closed window, sending glass flying outside. Mom heard the glass breaking and ran in. “ Sarah! ” Mom yelled, “ What happened? ” 
 
 “ Mr. Kitty was using magical spells to steal socks but then he started transmuting them instead and then he put my camera in the litter box and then he put me in the attic after I got into the dryer and then I told him I knew it was him doing it and we were going to the convention next week and he ran away. ” 
 
 
 Mom narrowed her eyes, “ Good for you honey. ” She walked out of the room and could hear her sobbing over Mr. Kitty running away. 
 
 
 I never saw Mr. Kitty after that, but every now and then I find a lump of cat poop in one of my socks, a little reminder that he still thinks about me. 

