[ WP ] You are a supervillain , who moonlights as a superhero because fighting crime does n't pay the bills . People are starting to get suspicious ...

The little girl was waiting for me when I got back to my apartment. 
 
 `` What are you doing here,'' I asked. `` It's too late for you to be up, and this is n't the best part of town.'' I floated up above the doorframe and retrieved the key from the ceiling. I used to hide it under the mat, but here it was safe from tiny, prying fingers. 
 
 `` Ha! I knew you would care.'' She scrabbled to her feet. Her pants were ripped at the knee. Her shirt had flowers printed on it, and dirt smeared into it. Another plucky tomboy. 
 
 `` Yes,'' I sighed. `` You caught me. Let me guess... you're the star reporter at your middle school paper.'' 
 
 She brought out a pink backpack and pulled out a steno pad from it. `` Yup! This is going to make a perfect story:'Legendary Superhero Captain Fantabulous, Finally Exposed as Supervillain Dr. Braino.' I like that headline. It'll look good with my name under it, do n't you think?'' 
 
 `` Yes, that does sound nice. Well, the jig is up. Come inside. I'll fix you some hot cocoa and tell you the whole story.'' 
 
 `` Okay,'' she said. 
 
 I opened the door, grabbed her arm, and whipped her through the portal to the prison planet that I kept open for occasions such as this. Her momentum carried her through despite her thrashing and I saw her knock into two of the previous crowd of cub reporters who had come before her. 
 
 `` I'm still a Supervillain, dummy,'' I shouted through the portal. `` I just moonlight as a Superhero to pay the bills. Enjoy the 27th dimension!'' I shut the portal, went to the fridge, and cracked a beer. 
 
 Kids. What a pain. 
 
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