[ WP ] The world is about to end , and you 're the only hope humanity has . There 's just one problem . You 're a chicken .

`` Lord Jephthah!'' the bald-headed man with the curled moustache rumbled as blustered into my throne room, sweeping his Grecian robes behind him `` Lord Jepthah!'' 
 
 `` Buck-buck-squawk!'' I replied, flapping my wings. 
 
 `` What in the name of the Light Being is this?'' he exploded. `` Lord Jephthah!'' 
 
 `` It's him alright, Chancellor'', motioned Candace, my short thick-hipped attendant, her eyes covered by swathes of purple and blue hair. 
 
 `` What is he *doing*?'' the Chancellor raged. `` There's a Dornari fleet encroaching on our planet. The citizenry are evacuating. And Lord Jephthah is in the body of a *chicken*?'' 
 
 `` Buck-buck-squawk!'' I replied, preening my feathers. Mighty fine feathers. 
 
 `` Get out of that body!'' the Chancellor scolded. `` I command you!'' 
 
 `` You have no right to command him, Chancellor'', Candace chided. The Chancellor fumed. 
 
 `` I have every right to demand that our Lord take *action* to prevent this planet's destruction. Get in the bodyswapper Lord Jephthah!'' 
 
 I mean, I suppose he is right. I'm supposed to be a military commander. But fuck. I have such a fetish for bodyswapping now. 
 
 I flapped over to the shiny silver cube in the corner of the throne room, and flapped inside. The door closed behind me with a click, and I was sealed inside the glossy white interior. I flapped up onto the human-fitting chair inside and pushed at the console with my beak, instructing the machine on what to do to me. 
 
 The console bleeped and buzzed and in a puff of smoke and swirling rainbow lights I was knocked out. 
 
 I awoke back in my old body, gazing into the ceiling of the machine. The boring old human one, with five fingers, and five toes, and a mop of blondish hair. Every fibre of muscle felt terribly sore. I had been stripped down to nothing and rebuilt. 
 
 I pulled out my robes from a small compartment in the front, slipped them on clambered out, back into the throne room. The Chancellor and four generals in their starry cloaks and robes stood, awaiting my return. 
 
 `` Chancellor King'', I acknowledged. 
 
 `` Lord Jephthah'', he acknowledged. `` I urge you to mobilize your power against the Dornari swarm. Trillions of their drones menace us.'' I nodded. I walked across the room to my big golden suit of power armour, and swiped at it. It floated up into the air, breaking apart into a hundred pieces that swirled in the air, and clamped around my outstretched arms, closing up with a satisfying clink. 
 
 `` For the Empire!'' I shouted, floating off the ground and up over the throne room. The roof of retracted with a swift whir and I shot up into the sky over the shimmering crystalline domes and towers city of Mako. A golden aura pulsed about my body as I lifted higher and higher up and up through puffy banks of white cloud and higher until I could see the sparkling stars against a black background. I stretched my arms out and shot out two immense sizzling beams of golden energy. 
 
 I giggled to myself. Their lord and saviour, the shapeshifter. In the body of a chicken. I blasted off, out toward where my neural chip showed the enemy fleet was massing. 
 
 I will destroy them all. Every last ship. Just as I always do. 
 

