[ CW ] Without using the letter `` E '' , describe a friendship that 's falling apart .

Mary got a boob job on Thursday. Now that Mary has rocking tits, Mary's BFF Jill is butt hurt. Mary's gigantic boobs draw looks from boys around town. `` What a slut!'' Call out old haggish widows, with saggy boobs flapping against gusts of wind. 
 
 `` Such a bitch!'' Jill said inwardly, growing angry at Mary. `` Why do boys go crazy and want to look at girls' boobs?'' 
 
 What if Jill had big boobs, too? Boys want girls with big boobs, right? Just look at Kim Kardashian. Kim is a total tramp worth nothing to humanity, or so Jill thought. Paris Hilton is also a slut, a rich and famous slut. What about Lady Gaga? Nikki Minaj? Niall Horan? Jill thought about what was in common: all a bunch of harlots! Harlots with big tits! 
 
 So Jill got a boob job on Friday. Jill got mountainous, tantalizingly whorish tits, far surpassing Mary's still-rocking-but-sadly-not-as-rocking-as-Jill tits. Jill got tits that could block out our Sun! 
 
 Mary and Jill had a big sumo match, but with boobs. It was fun to watch and many dicks got hard and stiff. Jill won. Mary was sad. 
 
 So Mary sought out that boob-implant clinic again, but it got shut down by old haggish widows ( from my first paragraph ). Fuck old haggish widows and saggy tits. 
 
 That night, Mary would rip Jill's throat out with a chainsaw. That would stop a good companionship, would n't it?
