[ WP ] Write a story with an unexpected plot twist and a character who breaks the fourth wall ( Metafiction )

`` I tell you now, going into this, that at the end of this story, I die.'' 
 
 Kaiden said it to the mirror, knowing that whoever was reading his little tale knew that it was an obvious break of the fourth wall, a nod to whoever was willingly reading the cesspool he called a life. He knew his life *had* to be a story, because that's the way lives worked. A generic apartment, in a suburban area in a generic midwestern town. Nothing exciting. An average man, with an average overnight job, working the warehouse side of Wal-Mart. He had hobbies, played some games, drank some beer, cheered on the Cowboys like his Father had taught him... and that was it. If he was a real man, he would be an NPC, someone you would talk to twice and forget about. 
 
 That he even had life was probably a mistake. There was nothing special about him. He was just another ant in a long line of ants, born to work and then die. 
 
 He did n't drive. He did n't trust cars, so as he walked to the nearby gas station to get a soda, he took a minute to appreciate how still it was outside. It was as cold as Antarctica ( he assumed ), so nobody in their right mind would be out. It did n't mean anything, really. The cold was n't a problem. Nothing was a problem. He was going to go to the store and get a drink, because that's what the narrative dictated. He was probably going to get hit by a car, so his life could have an ending that belongs in a poorly-titled Alanis Morissette song. 
 
 *'' This stupid guy never trusted cars* 
 
 *He walked every damn place, even to bars. * 
 
 *Though he never once sat behind the wheel* 
 
 *It was still a car, that brought him to heel* 
 
 *And is n't it Ironic, do n't ya think? `` * 
 
 He picked up his soda humming the *Ray*-***EEEEEE***-*ain* part, a smile on his face, and he paid in the exact change he had ready in his pockets. As he walked home, he watched a car spin out on the ice, barrel straight towards him... and regain control a few feet from him, and be on its merry way. 
 
 When he got him, his house was warm and inviting, and he sound found himself dozing off on the couch. 
 
 `` But if you think about it...'' he said, quietly, `` It did n't matter what you thought was gon na happen. The next two words kill us all.'' 
 
 
 **THE END** 
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