[ WP ] A homeowner confuses two Mormons for federal agents looking for a fugitive named 'Jesus ' .

The two smartly dressed men at the door looked innocent enough, though their manner was a little more gruff than I was used to. 
 
 `` Ma'am, we're looking for this gentleman. We were told that you had information.'' The photo shoved in my face was a sketch of a handsome man in his mid thirties with long flowing brown hair. 
 
 `` Ah, you wish to talk about Jesus'' I said, opening the screen door, `` come in come in, I'll tell you all.'' 
 
 The two men exchanged an eyebrow behind their sunglasses, but they stepped inside anyway and I made them sit down and offered them some juice. 
 
 `` Please ma'am, time is of the essence.'' said the one on the left, `` Anything you could tell us would be of utmost use to our investigation.'' 
 
 `` Where did you see this'Jesus', last?'' asked the one on the right. 
 
 `` Well, I saw him last Sunday,'' I said, `` As do all of his flock.'' 
 
 `` His flock?'' asked the one on the left, and then leaning in, `` Ma'am, is this Jesus a ring-leader of some sort? Does he provide you a service on the sly?'' 
 
 `` He is the king of all kings, leader of all men, and does service for us all'' I cried, appalled at having to even educate such nice gentleman with the ways of the lord, `` why without Jesus, how could any of us possibly live?'' 
 
 The one on the right took of his sunglasses and took hold of my hand very gently. `` Ma'am, this Jesus character is wanted man in over 49 states.... I do n't know what he's done to you to make you so devout, but you do n't need to fear him anymore, we're here to help.'' 
 
 `` I do n't... do n't need Jesus?'' My mind was a whirl. Church and Sunday school were all I knew. 
 
 `` You can live a whole life again, without having to run everything past Jesus anymore. You can do whatever you want to do.'' 
 
 I did not know what to say. I thanked the gentleman and politely but insistently forced them out of the house. They said they'd be in touch, and that I might see them at church. 
 
 I had created two believers, but had lost my own faith. `` Whatever I want to do...'' I said to myself. I lit up a cigarette and poured myself a scotch. Life was about to get interesting.
