[ CC ] Shaping a person

Cool story! A very honest reflection of feelings and emotions. 
 
 There's a lot of specific fixes that would benefit from focusing on learning from published authors, in terms of grammar and structure. I'd advise picking some of your favourite authors and try to see how they structure their grammar when creating paragraphs and dialogue and try to mimic them where you do in your writing. If you're not sure what to do for something you've written, there's almost certainly an example to be found in any novel. 
 
 I'd also advise proofreading ( capitalization and conjunctions jumped out the most to me ), even just placing the story in Microsoft word and making the corrections it identifies before posting. It wo n't change the story, but it will make the piece more readable and let the readers focus more on the story than what can be fixed.
