[ WP ] Everyone on earth has a networked A.I . that will give them small suggestions on what actions they can take to benefit humanity . For some reason , no matter what you do , yours tells you to `` Just stay home today . ''

`` Dude, I've *got* to pick up at least something to eat --'' 
 
 `` This is not an optimal course of action. Please remain within your house for the next --'' 
 
 `` NO. You know what? Maybe I'm sick of your robot ass policing my life. I'm going to go pick up some ramen, and then I'm going to eat it over your motherboard casing just to piss you off.'' 
 
 ``...'' 
 
 `` Yeah, that's what I thought.'', He said, exiting his house. The AI had kept him inside for a solid week now, with nothing but canned fruit and pizza. At this point, Greg would watch the world burn for something that required more than a paper towel and a plastic fork to eat. 
 
. 
 
 `` Eeeeh...'' Greg was paused at the edge of a rather busy highway on ramp; the nearest cross walk was a solid 50 yards away, and he was n't about to give in to his A.I's nannying now. Sure, nothing about the program would be noticeably different, but Greg would be able to *feel* the smugness it surely felt when he was wrong. 
 
 Stupid A.I. 
 
 Greg's first step into the street resulted in loud honking, a car having snuck up on him while he was caught up in his thoughts. The light had changed without him noticing. 
 
 `` Oh shitshitSHIT --'' The car swerved as Greg gracelessly stumbled backwards in an attempt not to be flattened, immediately regretting his decision. He watched in horror as the car swerved into the concrete siding and came to a squealing stop, grinding against said concrete the entire way. 
 
 `` What the hell, man! Why the fuck-'' 
 
 The angry driver was cut off as another car attempted to make the turn, immediately rear ending the first. 
 
 `` AW, goddammit dude! You could n't walk, like, five more feet to the goddamned crosswalk?'' 
 
 `` I'm sorry, I did n't see you --'' 
 
 A car in the traffic now building up behind the two cars honked, assuming that the cause of the blockage would *surely* notice what an inconvenience the accident was to everyone around them, *surely*, if they just honked loudly and insistently enough. Greg noticed cars on the highway slowing down, presumably to try and see what the fuss was about, despite the warnings that were surely pouring out of their A.I modules. 
 
 `` Yeah, well, now you fuckin' see me. What am I supposed to do? Do you even *have* a license?'' 
 
 The second driver was climbing out of their car now; traffic had officially crawled to a stop, the line to enter the highway from this on-ramp now extending down the right lane of the street it was connected to, and through the intersection behind it. The rubberneckers watching the accident take place had dropped traffic speed down to 25 mph on the highway. 
 
 An ambulance wailed in the distance; Greg could n't tell if it was coming from the highway or the streets behind it. 
 
 With the beginnings of a headache throbbing in his ears, Greg realized the A.I had been right, and leaving the house had been a terrible idea for the rest of the city. 
 
 Stupid smug machine. 

