[ WP ] Getting tired of always being called upon when the police deem a case un-solvable , you take up a 9 to 5 job . You use your brilliant deductive skills to attempt to make sales and upset almost every customer who speaks to you . You are Sherlock Holmes , used car salesman .

`` Mr Evans, I'm glad you're here. My lunch is shortly due and I should like to have you out of my hair.'' 
 `` Hold on,'' Mr Evans said. `` I did n't tell you my name...'' 
 `` No, but my manager spoke it before he ended his call with you this morning.'' 
 `` Were you on the line?'' Asked Mr Evans. `` How could you possibly have known it was me?'' 
 `` Of course I was n't on the line. So far this morning there have been appointments with women, and only women. I made the assumption that the one meeting scheduled with a man, a certain'Mr Evans', would correspond to the one man that stands before me now. Remind me, Mr Evans, did I tell you about my lunch?'' 
 `` Yes Mr uh...'' 
 `` Holmes'' 
 `` Yes Mr Holmes, you did'' 
 `` Wonderful,'' said Holmes. `` Now which car are you to be test driving?'' 
 `` Is n't it rather presumptuous to assume I will be test driving anything?'' Asked Mr Evans. 
 `` Perhaps, if it were anyone else. But, Mr Evans, you see I noticed you are running a minor sweat - nothing much, do n't worry, no one else will notice. Also, you have clips around your jeans, of course to protect from a chain. Mr Evans, you cycled here,'' said Holmes triumphantly. 
 `` And what,'' replied Evans flatly, `` does that have to do with test driving?'' 
 `` Precisely nothing, in and of itself,'' said Holmes. `` But seeing as you are carrying a pair of driving gloves in your pocket, Mr Evans, it rather betrays your intentions.'' 
 Mr Evans looked down to see the ends of his gloves poking out from his pocket. `` Now I do n't know what kind of salesman you think you a-'' he began, but Holmes raised an impatient hand. 
 `` Mr Evans,'' he said decisively, `` do I need to remind you once more about my lunch? Or will you stop wasting both of our time?'' 
 `` Well... I suppose I...'' 
 `` No need for explanations, Mr Evans. Here are the keys to the BMW.'' 
 `` But I did n't tell you or your manager what car I would test drive, how did you know I wanted to drive the BMW?'' 
 `` Perhaps its because each of your last four cars have been BMWs, Mr Evans,'' said Mr Holmes waving a bundle of confidential financial documents. `` Oh do n't look at me like that,'' said Holmes, `` your wife provided them to me. She was in here last week you know. Seemed more keen on the Mercedes, though of course the model was rather tacky, if you ask me - rather like your wife I am afraid, Mr Evans.'' 
 `` What did you just say, Holmes?'' 
 `` I rather like your wife, I said.'' 
 `` Hmph'' replied Mr Evans. `` You are welcome to her.'' 
 `` As I suspected,'' said Holmes. `` You clearly tire of your wife, Mr Evans. It is clear in the way you seek a new car - some misguided refreshment, as it were; it is clear in the way you have recently taken up cycling, for you are undoubtedly in far better shape than your partner - is it that you intend to find another woman? No. Do n't answer that. In any case, even a blind man could see in perfect clarity, that when a husband and wife enter the same car dealership on separate days, seeking separate cars, then they are not on speaking terms. If I were you Mr Evans, I would take the BMW, and if you were feeling kind, gift the bicycle to your estranged wife. I fear she rather needs it. Ah yes,'' said Holmes. `` I almost forgot. The key...'' 
 Unable to speak, and mouthing a hapless'o' shape with his mouth, Mr Evans received the BMW key, and stumbled out of the office. 
 `` The manager will accompany you,'' Holmes called through the doorway. He smiled to himself, and opened up his lunchbox. 
 
 

