[ WP ] In a world where everyone has superpowers , your superpower is to have a superpower that 's so ridiculously complicated that it 's completely pointless to even attempt to explain it , though everyone expects you to try anyways .

`` I flip quarks.'' I said, but the glazed look in Merid's eyes said the explanation was n't enough. It was *never* enough. So I added: `` And that makes things happen.'' 
 
 `` But how does it make things happen?'' Merid demanded. 
 
 Merid was the curious type it turned out. I set my jaw and let my head fall back against my seat. This was not how I wanted to spend our second date. 
 
 It has been my policy since the Maskless Act took effect to be straightforward with my dates. I have superpowers, yes, and I am on the national registry as a loaded weapon. Sure. But I was n't gifted with the ability to throw fire, which would be easy to explain and show off. I ca n't fly, which is arguably the most useful ( but I hear satisfying ) ability. No, my ability went undetected for most of my life. It was that subtle. 
 
 It was n't until my late 30s when touring CERN on a business trip that my ability was discovered to begin with, and the scientists there had a better idea of how it worked than anyone else. I was an anomaly, and my presence threw off days of experimentation. Apparently I introduced an element of chaos so strong that all of their data was worthless, and rather than be angry about it ( although I recall a grad student throwing a tantrum ), the scientists were stunned. I felt like part of the British Invasion back in the 60s, only instead of screaming teen girls, it was physicists shoving microphones and clipboards at me. 
 
 I do n't even understand the power myself, and despite being classed in the top 1 % of most dangerous heroes, I barely know what it is useful for. 
 
 When I turned to look at Merid, the last of the credits were rolling. 
 
 `` I think maybe this date was a bad idea. I mean, you're nice and all, but I am just not feeling it.'' I said. I would let her down hard and fast, end this charade and move on. I had told the matchmaking agency at least ten times that I did n't want to be paired with someone curious. It only lead to problems. Along with a list of foods my dates needed to be able to eat, 
 
 `` But you still have n't explained your... your thing, to me.'' 
 
 I threw my hands up and sighed in exasperation, drawing a pained look from a couple past the aisle on my right. They looked like the type who waited to check for an after credits scene. I winced. I was being rude. 
 
 `` I... ca n't. I just. If I could show it to you, I would, but it's so small it's imperceptible and most people would n't even understand it. The changes are so subtle that I ca n't even consciously do it. It runs on... a kind of intuition, I guess? It's taken me five years just to keep it from flying out of control, not that most people would have noticed. Words just do n't even do it justice. It's too... weird.'' 
 
 When I stood up, Merid followed in lock step at my heels. She was n't going to let this go. 
 
 `` At least finish the date.'' Merid said, nearly pleading. `` We agreed to get parfaits after the movie, lets at least enjoy the evening, okay?'' 
 
 I shoved my hands in my pockets and turned to assess Merid. Something was not right, but I could n't put my finger on it. The situation felt staged. `` Alright, we'll get ice cream, then we go our separate ways.'' I was probably a bit cold toward her, sure, but it's frustrating to deal with a situation like that. 
 
 Merid did n't react as if I were cold. That was warning two. `` Awesome. There's this place just down the street.'' 
 
 I started walking. Then I waited in line, dodging more questions. I was trapped in an ice cream restaurant full of couples, it was two days from Valentines Day I recalled, and this girl who on the first date seemed alright continued to grill me. It was literally my personal flavor of hell. 
 
 `` So if you can flip quarks... does that mean you can make an up-quark into a down-quark?'' Merid asked, between ordering strawberries and chocolate on her parfait. 
 
 I narrowed my eyes at the back of Merid's head. How much did this girl know about particle physics? 
 
 `` Sort of. I guess. Sometimes, if I try really hard, I can change enough to flip a neutron into a proton.'' 
 
 `` That is awesome!'' Merid geeked out at me. 
 
 Alright, Merid was definitely a plant. There was no way this girl was real. Either a villain had set this up, or a third party trying to study me had sent her in under cover. No way a blind date from a matchmaking service would pair up that well. As I moved ahead in line, I ordered an old standby -- caramel, fudge, and peanuts. I could n't be bothered to get more creative. I needed to remember the first date. 
 
 Merid and I first went to the park, to a showing of a collection of scenes from Shakespeare's comedies, and I remembered her laughing at the right spots. She understood it. When we were getting tacos afterward, she said she was into classic literature. In college, she had focused on humanities. God, what else could I remember? We were playing a game where you list your preferences. What was it that Merid liked, and what was it she despised? 
 
 I was so distracted at that moment I ran through on auto-pilot. In the back of my head, I had been dealing with an off-world invasion attempt the entire date. 
 
 Then it struck me. I remembered the conversation. Merid had been pretty forthcoming with me. 
 
 As Merid and I sat down with our parfaits at one of those tiny, uncomfortable tables where your knees are required to touch and the feet are never level, I tried to focus on the moment. 
 
 `` How much do you know about theoretical physics, Merid? It would be easier to explain if I had an idea what you understand. I do n't know if I can explain it very well, but common ground would help.'' 
 
 `` Oh.'' Merid mumbled, mouth full of chocolate and strawberry. `` As much as anyone else, I guess? I took classes in college?'' 
 
 I nodded and ate a scoop of ice cream. `` Alright,'' I paused. `` Basically, if you change enough quarks in a hadron, you can change the kind of hadron it is. Hadrons make up larger matter, so if you can alter enough hadrons, you can change the form matter takes. If you can change enough of given elements within matter, you can change the kind of matter it is.'' 
 
 `` That sounds pretty simple.'' Merid said, waving her spoon at me. A bite of pineapple was sticking to the corner of her mouth. I watched it pointedly. `` I do n't know why you think it's so hard to explain.'' 
 
 I nodded my head in response and waited, watching Merid closely. `` What about you? Have any superpowers you are n't telling me about?'' 
 
 Merid smiled coyly. `` None that I talk about on the second date.'' 
 
 I laughed. It was a fake laugh. You see, Merid should have been in anaphalactic shock at that point and yet, Merid was flirting and smiling at me. Clearly, this was n't Merid. Not exactly. 
 
 `` Oh no, Merid, I did n't even realize...'' I feigned shock and fear. `` Are you okay?'' I pointed down at her parfait. `` Are n't you allergic to pineapple? That's what you said on our last date.'' 
 
 Merid's eyes went wide and she looked down at her parfait, a half-eaten mass of vanilla ice cream, pineapple, and bananas. 
 
 `` I do n't remember ordering...'' Merid frowned. Her spoon fell into the bowl. `` How long have you known?'' 
 
 `` A little while now. This is tacky, by the way. Abducting my date or whatever you did, and trying to get the details of my power out of me. Really tacky.'' 
 
 Not-Merid pushed herself back from the table, looking somewhat despondent. `` You're in our way. We had suspicions someone like you might exist when we tried to run a second iteration on our attack. Something was blocking our ability to start from the beginning.'' she said. 
 
 I nodded my head and took another bite of my dessert. Our last date was four days prior, on a Saturday. The invasion force was repelled by midnight. The gov told everyone playing defense to relax until another threat showed itself. Apparently the threat found me first. 
 
 `` What have you done with Merid?'' I asked. 
 
 Not-Merid smirked. `` Nobody will miss this woman. She has no family, no real friends, no hobbies. We did our research. This was her body, but we have assumed control and eliminated her weakness. Now, to something more important. We want you to join us. With our technology and your ability, we could strangle this galaxy within a decade. Total control.'' 
 
 `` Hah. Not likely.'' I said. `` This is n't the outcome I want from the situation and there is nothing you can offer me that will convince me to assist you.'' 
 
 Not-Merid frowned. `` We do not see where what you want from the situation matters. You've already become trapped.'' 
 
 `` You think so?'' I asked. 
 
 I already knew that in high orbit, a hidden warship was aimed at our position. I could feel it like eyes staring at you from across the room. `` Thing is, I do n't really flip quarks like... *When* I want to flip them, I flip them *before* I want to flip them. So in a way, I never actually flip them. Things just kind of *change*.'' 
 
 In that moment, I made up my mind. I did n't like things as they were, so they would need to change. Across from me, Not-Merid changed state, flickering, while in orbit, a warship changed state, breaking into a gas cloud. I could n't explain how it happened, just that it happened. If I thought too hard about it, I would give myself a headache. 
 
 `` I still do n't get it.'' Merid said, digging into her chocolate and strawberry parfait. `` I mean, quarks are so... tiny, right? I just.'' She sighed in frustration. `` You know what, do n't worry about it.'' She waved her spoon in the air. `` What kind of music are you into?'' 
 
 I let myself smile a little and took another bite of my sundae. `` I'm fond of blues music.'' 
 
 Merid's smile brightened around her spoon. `` Me too! Mississippi Delta, or more like popular blues?'' 
 
 `` Whatever feels good, you know?'' I said. `` I just try to roll with it.'' 
 
 Merid bobbed her head. `` I totally get that. Just have to take things as they come. Life's too complicated to spend all your time thinking about it. Just have to get out there and do it.'' 
 
 Yes. Yes you do.
