[ WP ] Half of the world 's population has suddenly lost any craving for eating meat ...

`` So, Mr. Arhegead, you're here with us tonight with something very important to tell us.'' Arhegead attempts to compose himself and faces the greasy reporter. Through his giant frame, the guest replies, `` Yes, Mr. Johnson, I'm here to tell you that cows can talk. All cows, save a few differently abled, can talk. We've been able to vocalize our thoughts for longer than humans have been able.'' Rising from his chair, Johnson begins shouting, `` Is n't that amazing, folks? A cow that can talk. Amazing!'' `` Since my name might as well be Brutus at this point, could you please let me off this leash?'' The host frowns, facing away from the camera, `` Sorry, ca n't do that. Those are just the rules.'' `` I'm the first cow the break the silence in over several hundred years, the least you can do me is the courtesy of letting me off this leash?'' As the cameras' lenses are covered and the studio closes its doors, the reporter responds, `` I have nothing else to say to you.'' As the newsman motions, offstage hands fire a rifle and the cow falls onto the set.
