[ WP ] You are the final villian from the first season of a generic anime , and through dumb luck you killed the hero . Instead of lavishing in victory , you now find yourself having to deal with all the villains who would have attacked the hero in later seasons

“ You killed him! ” 
 
 “ What? No way, he ’ s going to pop out from somewhere like they always do. ” ArianaGrandioku walked over to a boulder and kicked it. 
 
 “ I saw it! Your fordexplorerbeam attack disintegrated LindseyLohanison! You blasted him to smithereens! Now you ’ re going to kill me too! ” 
 
 “ What ’ s your name tubby? ” 
 
 “ HillaryDuffama. ” 
 
 “ Well tubby, help me look for him. I ’ m sure he ’ s around here somesomewhere. ” 
 
 “ There ’ s no way he could have survived that! ” 
 
 “ Keep saying that and a puff of smoke will magically appear and blow away, revealing the hero. ” 
 
 ArianaGrandioku squinted into the sky. “ Nope, I don ’ t think he ’ s up there. ” 
 
 “ Listen! You ’ ve killed him! ” 
 
 “ Where ’ s the body? ” He took a few steps and his foot squished into the ground. “ …Oh ” 
 
 “ What ‘ oh ’? Like Oh I see him? ” 
 
 “ Yeah, I see him alright. ” 
 
 HillaryDuffama broke out into a little dance. “ LINDSEYLOHANISON IS BACK!!! He is going to kick your butt. ” 
 
 “ He ’ s certainly kicked something. I thought he would have dodged, but I suppose I should have used a charger attack for that one. ” 
 
 “ You ’ ve got it coming! We are going to end your evil reign. ” 
 
 “ Hey, come over here, I think he needs something from you. ” 
 
 “ What? Anything! ” 
 
 “ You got a zip lock baggie? ” 
 
 Tubby looked at the dark smudge on the ground that used to be his friend. “ Oh. ” 
 
 “ Yeah. Sorry about that, I wasn ’ t quite expecting him to try to take it. I mean, I know I talk a big game, but I am going to be up to my eye balls in paperwork from this. Normally I like to injure folks just enough so that they leave me alone for sixty years until they send some punk-ass kid to repeat the cycle. You know, like taking off an arm or giving a bad ass battle scar. ” 
 
 “ So what are you going to do about the nine Daewoo Gods? ” 
 
 “ The what? Are there more of you? ” 
 
 “ No, I mean there are 9 gods who threaten this reality and we needed to defeat you to get the Sword of Ages from you. ” 
 
 AriannaGrandioku pulled out his dagger and looked at it. “ You mean this guy was after my letter opener? I would have given it to him if he would have sworn a binding magical fealty to me. I mean, the offer is yours if you want it. ” 
 
 “ No. I ’ m good, thanks. ” 
 
 “ Amazing cosmic power, bad ass armor, and I ’ d even hook you up with a gym membership. ” 
 
 “ Tempting, but no. ” 
 
 “ So this thing will kill the 9 guys? ” 
 
 “ Supposedly. ” 
 
 “ I bought it at a mall kiosk, I don ’ t even think it ’ s real steel. ” 
 
 A clash of thunder reverberated through the valley and a crack opened up. “ I AM THE FIRST OF THE DAEWOO GODS I HAVE COME TO CLAIM THIS REALM AS MY… ” The titanic being stopped pulling himself from the rift in reality and gaped at AriannaGrandioku. “ Ace? Ohhh, goood. You ’ re alive! ” 
 
 “ Frank, what are you doing here? ” 
 
 “ I ’ m here to take out the kid and claim this realm as my own. ” 
 
 “ You can ’ t have it. I ’ m still alive. ” 
 
 AriannaGrandioku looked down at HillaryDuffama. “ Was this the guy who put you up to this? ” 
 
 HillaryDuffama squinted at the face, blocking out most of its reality bending horror with his hand. “ Yeah, put a beard on him and he ’ s the old man from the village. ” 
 
 “ Frank! I told you, if I ever saw you again you ’ d be dead! ” AriannaGrandioku flung the Sword of Ages at Frank. 
 
 Frank flinched as the decorative paperweight bounced off of his arm. “ God Ace, you think you ’ d be happy to see me! It ’ s been six thousand years. ” 
 
 “ You forwarded that text to Lisa! I was going to score that night! ” 
 
 It was tubby ’ s turn to gape. “ Like that ’ s what this is about? ” 
 
 “ You have no clue, I was on a dry streak that lasted ages, literal ages. ” 
 
 AriannaGrandioku turned, his cape flowing behind him and framing his terrible armor. “ You get out of here. I ’ m not dead and no matter how many punk kids you send my way, that isn ’ t going to change. ” 
 
 Frank pulled himself back through the crack. “ Dude, just let it be, it was six millenia. ” 
 
 The crack in reality closed. 
 
 “ So, you ’ re a sidekick huh? You gon na stick around for this or don ’ t you have some wacky hijinks to get up to? ” 
 
 “ I can stay. ” 
 
 “ You sure you don ’ t want the job? We have great dental. ” 
 

