[ WP ] Google goes down , leaving only the message `` go outside '' in place of the normal website .

'Search failed'. I refresh the search only to find `` go outside'' painted in black against a white page. I do n't understand, did I do something wrong? Refresh. Refresh. Refresh, refresh, refresh. The horrifying caption sticks out like glow worms in a dark cave. I sink into a dark void, compressed by the depression and confusion. `` This ca n't be real'' `` This is a dream''. My head filled with the screams of agony, I slap my face. `` Am I awake''. The dream persists, I smash my head against the wall. `` This is n't a dream'' `` It's real!''. My lips tremble, tears form at the eyes. Sliding down the wall to the floor I press my hand to my forehead. A damp feeling envelops my fingers, I bring my hand to my view to see blood. My fingers separate tearing the bond of the sticky resin. I look up to see the blood splattered violently across the wall. 
 
 There should be pain from this wound but. But nothing is comparable to the pain felt in my heart, the throbbing painful pulses of anger and sadness rolling like thunder through my weakened, fragile body. So weak. My energy sapped from my existence, only enough to create my thoughts. `` How did it end up like this?'' `` What do I do now?''. Questions of rhetorical solitude. How I pity myself in this state, a state I have only come to know at this moment. I somehow obtain a second wind, a burst of energy, not a lot but enough to move my diminished, tortured soul back to the corrupted grounds in which my horror began. Beaten, exhausted of all my strength, I struggle into my chair. I want to scream. to cry. I stare at the screen only to see the words are still there. `` go outside'' go outside. go outside. Pain surged through me like a current. Intolerable. Excruciating. I'm so weak I ca n't resist. My body. Frozen in pain as I stared at the screen for what seemed hours, even days. Such wishful thinking occurred in the mere minutes that past. This trance. Delusion. 
 
 Came to an end as I accepted what was in front of me. My mind calmed. My body Numb. My view on life, adjusted. Feeling myself gain energy, I slowly walk out of my room. Descending the staircase was harder than assumed. My feet touch the floor at the base of the stairs, a feeling of relief. The bathroom door already open, my head in the basin, my hands cup the water and throw it at my face. I look up, the mirror reflecting a person of not my knowledge nor my memories. A blood stained forehead, a facecloth on a rail to the left. Not clean, but clean enough. The facecloth dampened, the blood stain erased, still no memory of the person in the mirror. I feel fresh. I chose the kitchen next. Cold water fills a glass. Gulp after gulp, the glass turns up empty. Hydrated. Energetic. Clang, I place the glass with the others. I pace through the living room, nothing of interest pains me to walk through it. I reach a curtain, shut and idle. Hands grasp the edge of the curtain, a forceful swoop slides away the darkness. My eyes barely open, the sun gleaming in joy. 
 
 A sliding door separates me from the outside world. Afraid. Anxious. My toes curl at the base of the door, My hand shaking as I reach for the handle. The lock released, my grip ever so tighter. I gaze out the window and see the swing in the tree, the one dad put up last year. Loneliness. Empty. The swing as still as water with no wind. Without thinking, I pull the door open and venture into the unknown. Heat of the sun, Coolness of the air. Joyful. Happy. A feeling I have long since touched. My feet sweep through the long grass, the leaves weaving through my toes. A feeling lost. A feeling gained. Smile. A smile forms on my face, muscles ache from disuse. I spin and jump as the sensation overflows. In the past I've done this a thousand times, but today feels like the first time. Experience. Sensation. I slow myself to a stop, the swing hangs at my very reach. I grab the ropes, the rasp of the thread underneath my fingers. 
 
 I turn around and gently sit on the wooden plank. It should n't be comfortable, But it is. As my feet lightly push me backwards, I watch the ground flee before me. The ground comes closer to greet me as I descend towards it only to pass it without hesitation as my head is pointed up towards the sky in my climb of happiness. Hope. Trust. As I swing back and forth, the ground occasionally greets me for those few split seconds, where we say our hello's and goodbye's. I elegantly, almost silently, ascend and descend the wave of tranquility. I'm sent gliding backwards into the memories of the past, my friends, my family. Memories. Nostalgia. I descend only to fly forward into the sky's blue embrace, visions of blooming happiness flood my mind. Future. Opportunities. With eyes closed and mind wide open, I imagined a future for me. For once, just once in my life. I can say I've felt the truth of freedom.
