[ WP ] Divorce proceedings now include determining which party retains which memories of their relationship and of their children .

It was n't at all what I'd expected. Yeah, I'd signed the papers, and yeah, I'd seen the show before, but I did n't realize this was how it really worked. The neon words were flashing up above -- I could n't read them from this perspective, but I knew they said *BONUS ROUND! *. 
 
 `` Alright!'' said the wacky host, T.J. Toppersmith. `` Question number 4, and this one goes to the *husband*.'' When he said the word *husband*, more lights, other lights, some fucking lights that just added to the general din of the situation went off and he laughed his stupid wacky laugh and said, `` Uh oh! That sound means it's a *double or nothing* question!'' 
 
 Why had I signed up for this? What the hell was I doing here? It was because *she* had told me it was no big deal. It was legally binding, she'd said, it was just a different avenue. We could have just gone to court, but instead we'd signed up for this Running Man -esque bullshit. At any moment I was waiting for Arnold Schwarzenegger and that opera-singing guy with the friggin' electric helmet to pop onto the scene. 
 
 T.J. Toppersmith read from the card, `` OK, contestant number one. Here's your question.'' The audience quieted down and the lights dimmed, but only slightly. `` Your son, Adam. What is his favorite book?'' 
 
 The pulsing, annoying sound of the timer started and a spotlight burned down on me. I thought for a moment. I thought about all the bedtime stories I'd read to him and the ones I'd bought him for Christmas and I thought hard. `` Hurry up, contestant,'' said T.J. fucking Toppersmith. `` Time is almost out!'' 
 
 I mumbled something and then said, `` Ah... ah... Green Eggs and Ham?'' The timer stopped, T.J. gave me a quizzical look and the audience laughed. What? What had I done? 
 
 `` You're a little behind the times, *dad*,'' said T.J. Toppersmith to the roaring laughter of the audience. `` The correct answer was, *Catcher in the Rye*. Yeah. *Catcher in the Rye* was the answer we were looking for.'' After a pause, a siren went off and T.J. Toppersmith yelled into the microphone, `` OK, contestant number one! Looks like you missed your question, so it's time to --'' He held his microphone toward the audience, who chanted *Wipe! That! MEMORY! *'' 
 
 Two men in lab coats came from backstage and a burly man with cutoff sleeves accompanied them. `` No --'' I muttered. 
 
 `` Yes, that's right!'' said T.J. Toppersmith in his stupid, wacky voice. `` You're about to lose all memories of Adam between the ages of seven and eight! Get ready, contestant number one! Here it comes!'' 
 
 The burly man held me down while the two men in lab coats injected me with their serum and to be honest, the whole lab coat and goggles thing and the fact that there were two of them instead of just one really seemed overkill, but I quickly forgot about it as the serum took hold and my mind became as mixed as a batch of scrambled eggs. 
 
 `` OK,'' said the host, some guy whose voice sounded familiar but I could n't quite place. `` It's time for the next round. And uh oh! It looks like it's *dad's* turn again!'' A sound came over the loud speakers: *wah-wahhhhh*! The audience laughed. 
 
 `` You all there, contestant number one?'' The host chuckled. `` OK, this one is about your daughter, Emma...''
