[ WP ] Inanimate objects have emotions and express them by function or malfunction . You 're having the worst day of your life and the last thing you need is ...

Last night was wild! That girl was a dream come true! I just hope I did n't permanently scar my furniture into hating me... 
 I rolled out of bed and into my slippers, no warm fuzzy feeling greeted me though. In fact my slippers were stone cold. Okay maybe a pair of slipper should n't be worn while doing the deed. `` Maybe my slippers could grow up a bit...'' 
 The temperature of my feet definitely dropped another degree and they grew heavy on my feet. 
 
 I slipped them off and made for the door, which would n't budge. Okay so I agree that thing with the door handle took things a little to far, buuuuut ( hehehehe ) that's what she wanted. `` Pleaaaaassseeee?'' I cooed, polishing the knob delicately. I made to open the door again and it barely budged, when the opening was large enough I slipped through and into the bathroom. 
 
 The taps would n't turn on... Nor would the shower. And the toilet was n't flushing either. `` Guys... I did n't even come in here last night did I?'' And then it hit me, of course I did! All the best bits were in here... Well I think that was a decent trade off. 
 
 I picked up my mobile and exited the camera. Oh yes, my trusty camera never got annoyed at my wild nights out, he still worked just fine. I pulled open a new tab and searched `` affordable furnished homes''. 
 
 Looks like I was moving.
