[ WP ] Unable to accept failure , you go back in time repeatedly until you win .

Second chances are rare in life. Even more so than first chances. I only realised this when I lost *her*. Hurting others, especially those you loved, was like using a double edged knife to cut them. When I finally realised the gravity of my actions, I just... fell to the floor. Curling up into a ball, and bawling my eyes out for an hour. That feeling of helplessness, of utter inability, would never truly leave me. 
 
 In my despair, I made a wish back then. For the second chances I had been denied my whole life being granted in one fell swoop. I pleaded, begged, even grovelled at the feet of the God I prayed to. And he answered, and all was good. 
 
 Or so I had thought. 
 
 It all started well at first. Instead of simply being sent back, I was allowed to go back in time on my own free will. All along thinking, I would fix my mistake, and win back her heart. If things had worked out that way, perhaps I would not be in these moldy shoes today. 
 
 It becomes a habit, a dependency. Every time you have an argument, an issue, a struggle. You took the first time as a trial run and did it all over again. Life was perfect, was too easy almost. I made no mistakes. 
 
 All that could happen when I was involved, was inevitable success. One that would not be deterred by any obstacle or barrier. There were no negotiations with fate or intellect. No need to rack my brains for an innovative solution, when it would be provided later. It was a strength I had n't earned, did n't deserve. But still, I used it well and made no mistakes. 
 
 In the end, I threw everything away. The fortune, the girl, the friends. Even things that might have been genuine had lost their charm. When things are easily attained, we feel less satisfied for it. Humans need a struggle, obstacles in their path, to keep them climbing up for more. 
 
 Second chances are rare, and beautiful for it. Making no mistakes was a mistake. But there was no cure for this dependency, no way to stop myself from going back in time to correct things again, to mess everything up. Only one thing could. The silver barrel of the gun reflected my fearful reflection for but a moment. I was n't making a mistake.
