[ TT ] You are a recently deceased detective . God took you early as he has need of you . For the first time ever , there has been a murder in heaven .

The body lay between us on the ground... like an exclamation point at the end of a long sentence about the impermanence of life after death. 
 
 `` This is nothing personal, I just need to clear a few things up. I hope you understand.'' 
 
 `` More than you know. Ask away.'' 
 
 I lit a cigarette and blew it in his general direction. I knew there was no smoking here but i wanted to fuck with him, put him off guard. 
 
 `` Where were you at the time of the murder?'' 
 
 `` Me?'' 
 
 `` Yes.'' 
 
 `` Well... here.'' 
 
 `` Here as in the crime scene?'' 
 
 `` Yes.'' 
 
 Prevarication... this was one smart bastard. I just hoped none of OJ's defense team had made it here. `` You told me you were at the bar.'' 
 
 `` Yes.'' 
 
 `` And earlier your son said you were out ripping it with Hendrix.'' 
 
 `` Yes.'' 
 
 `` You're not helping me out here.'' 
 
 `` Well I was there as well. Technically... I'm everywhere.'' 
 
 `` You were at the bar and the crime scene, but you did n't see who committed the murder?'' 
 
 `` No.'' 
 
 `` Why not?'' 
 
 `` Well, I get distracted easily.'' 
 
 `` Explains a few things.'' 
 
 `` I'm sorry?'' His eyes narrowed and I thought the gig was up. Time to turn the heat back on. 
 
 `` Nothing. Who else was around the time of the murder?'' 
 
 `` My son.'' 
 
 `` I spoke to him already.'' 
 
 `` Well, some of him yes.'' 
 
 `` What?'' The cheese had definitely fallen off this guys cracker. `` Nevermind, can you call him over?'' 
 
 `` Sure thing, already did it as soon as you thought it.'' 
 
 I was n't a fan of his parlor tricks for various reasons. The main one being the amount of depraved porn I had viewed in my lifetime. I got that squint again. 
 
 `` Ok... This him?'' 
 
 `` Sure.'' 
 
 Three guys, hipsters all, approached our position. `` Why is there three of them?'' 
 
 `` Well they're different aspects of the same guy.'' 
 
 `` I'm sorry?'' 
 
 `` Do n't be. We ah, do n't mention it around him ok? He was picked on in life so we try to be super nice to him here.'' 
 
 `` Sure thing.'' This sounded like motivation to me. `` So where were you at the time of the murder?'' 
 
 `` Well I was with my buddies here, just ripping some mad swell down by the beach.'' 
 
 If possible I hated this guy more. 
 
 `` This in Galilee bay?'' 
 
 `` That's the one. So we were surfing and word comes around that someone bought it.'' 
 
 `` Bought what?'' 
 
 `` Died... I mean died. I know that's not a big deal to some of us, but others....'' 
 
 `` Take it personally?'' 
 
 `` Sure... I mean its death. That's pretty personal.'' 
 
 `` Personal enough to kill someone over?'' 
 
 `` What? I'm not sure I follow.'' 
 
 `` Word is you had a pretty rough time on earth, you think about getting some of your own back?'' 
 
 `` No man, Jesus!'' 
 
 Horrified looks on all three of them. They almost have me convinced. Almost. 
 
 `` Yes... that's the name on everyone's lips here is n't it? Maybe he threatened to overshadow you, a new upstart. Maybe that's why you got rid of him?'' 
 
 `` No man not me, or the other two. It was never about fame, just the message.'' 
 
 `` Pretty horrific way to spread it. Getting nailed to a cross and all. You into that stuff? Does it blow your skirt up?'' 
 
 `` God no, you think getting cru...'' 
 
 Maybe it was a game? Just a sleazy sex game gone wrong? Its Ok you can tell me, it was an accident.'' 
 
 `` Shit man what is wrong with you? Look, I had a pretty hard time of it alright, but if I learnt anything its that what you've got is precious. You do n't go pissing it away in some bar or into a needle, and you do n't take it from others.'' 
 
 I had to wrap this up. `` Do n't get all preachy with me. You're free to leave, but you stick around alright... no second coming while the investigation is ongoing.'' 
 
 `` Fuck off.'' 
 
 Shit, that did n't go so well. I thought for a second he might have had his old man's gift. It was that comment about skirts. That could have been embarrassing. 
 
 I gaze down at the glazed over eyes of the corpse, willing him to talk, to say one more word, a long death rattle with the name of his killer on his lips. 
 
 Nothing. Its funny, you'd think heaven would be the place for miracles. I flicked my cigarette into the air and it vanished before it hit the ground. 
 
 `` Oh well, enjoy hell Beiber, I here you're just as popular there.'' 
 

