[ WP ] The four horsemen get together at the bar and reminisce about the `` good old days ''

The bar was n't at the end of the universe but it was pretty damn close. It had stood the test of Father Time itself - rowdy drunk that he was - and would probably long outlast the four current inhabitants. The bartender, a bull-headed, silver-bodied being with a name long forgotten by anybody who mattered, had seen his fair share of divine beings stop by his bar. They had come and gone, as such creatures were wont to do, but these four seemed to have stuck around longer than most. He shrugged. In all of its eons of existence, the bar had never had a peak capacity over six inhabitants. Four was pretty standard and these four in particular seemed decent enough. Leastways, they did n't turn wine into water for a laugh. The bartender shook his head at the memory. 
 
 Christ. 
 
 `` I'm just saying, what with Judgement Day come and gone and the whole blasted universe pretty much gone, it seems like we're kind of redundant is all.'' the Red Rider with his bow and arrow said loudly after his companions had laughed him off. The White Rider shook his head and laughed. 
 
 `` Come off it War! How long have we been together? War and Conquest - the Dynamic Duo as the humans would say. You'd set'em up and I'd knock'em down! The Big Man Upstairs knows all the good work we did down there on Earth. He's not just gon na cast us aside like he did with Lu.'' the White Rider, named Conquest by the humans, replied with an easygoing smile. 
 
 `` What do you think Famine? You've been quiet.'' Conquest asked. 
 
 `` You two always ignore me unless you're having an argument you want me to agree with you on.'' the Black Rider said sullenly. He was an emaciated figure, pale and ugly who was still nursing his first beer from an hour ago. 
 
 `` We do no-'' Conquest began before Famine cut him off. 
 
 `` You do and you know it! How many times have you two gone off on some damn crusade and then ignored me when I showed up on your campaigns. Especially you, Conquest. Every time you rolled into some city with some triumphant army in a parade, you never listened to me when I told you of the countless peasants mourning the loss of their fathers, brothers, uncles, and nephews. Or if the women who had cried themselves to sleep after what your conquering armies did to them. And the hunger. You never listened to me about the hunger that spread across the land after you and War rolled through.'' Famine said. Despite the fervor of his words, he did not move when he addressed his companions - remaining as rigidly stiff as a board. Conquest snorted and waved off Famine's comments. 
 
 
 `` You always were a downer. Come on now! We had a good run - now it's time to enjoy retirement! The world's over and done with and now we get to sit back and think of the good old days!'' Conquest exclaimed heartily as he downed his drink. War laughed despite himself while Famine just shook his head in disapproval. 
 
 `` The only one who had'good old days' was you, Conquest. Despite the glories that he sometimes got to witness, War still had to watch all the men he had nurtured from childhood dreaming of being warriors get torn apart by rocks, arrows, bullets, lasers, and whatever else the humans had thought of. I had to be there when people were starving, torn apart by grief and thirst so that they could barely walk. And Death had the worst deal of all - having to be there at the end of it for everybody! You two have no idea what Judgement Day did to him!'' Famine cried out, now shouting and standing up. Conquest still looked as though he could n't give a care in the world. 
 
 `` Come off it! Death is just as fine as any one of us - ai n't that right, buddy? I'm glad you wanted to drink with us today.'' Conquest called to the fourth person in the bar, a man sitting in a separate table from the other three. A figure shrouded in grey rags. He was pale yet light seemed to be drawn to his body and be sucked into the void that were his eyes, giving him a dark aura. 
 
 `` I did not show up to drink.'' Death said simply before resuming at staring at the four. Conquest's smile began to fade. Raising an inquisitive eyebrow, War spoke up. 
 
 `` Then why are you here? Forty days it's been since Judgement Day and we have n't seen a sight of you. Today, you show up out of nowhere and do n't even want to drink?'' War asked incredulously. 
 
 `` Do n't act so surprised. You were quite correct in your summation of the''Big Man Upstairs''' intentions. You were all loyal soldiers but the war is over now. And Our Lord no longer has any need of you.'' Death said with a note of finality. All three of them at once realized what he was saying. Conquest reached for his bow and War unsheathed his sword and held it above his head, poised to behead Death where he stood. Famine just sat back down and closed his eyes. 
 
 Death ignored all of them. With a soft wave of his hand, the three once-mighty beings simply vanished - the only sign that they had once existed were their half-empty drinks that remained on the table. 
 
 As he wiped away something in his eyes, Death heard a small snuffle of surprise from behind the bar. The horrified looking bartender's bovine eyes were looking at Death like a madman. He had had several belligerent deities and evil spirits in his bar before but no one had ever, ever, EVER been killed in here before. Most were simply too powerful and the others were beloved enough to retire peacefully and doze away into the sweet embrace of Eternal Sleep. 
 
 `` Best prepare yourself for what you saw today. Since Judgement Day, the Almighty has recently been'clearing house', so to speak. I imagine it will be several eons until the day comes but even you will be rendered irrelevant one day.'' Death said as he tipped his hat and headed outside to unhitch his horse. 
 
 

