[ WP ] Humanity realizes the Universe is actually a simulation so out of spite it decides to concentrate its effort on messing with the civilization that does the simulation

Well, TIFU. As most problems are, this was all because of a woman. I've always had a `` thing'' for smart girls. The day we hatched, and I saw Yig's tentacles deftly open the latch of our enclosure while the rest of us were flopping around trying to figure out what way was up, I knew - we had to be together. I digress. Let me start at the beginning of my mistake, instead of the beginning of our lives. As part of her Galactic Oncology Degree, my sister was writing her thesis on the manipulation of matter, and how it's possible for gravity to bring matter together until it collapses into a singularity, malignant, and consuming everything around it. As part of her thesis, she wrote a computer program simulating an expansion from what she calls the origin point. Over the course of around two months, it had progressed to a point where stars, planets, and moons had formed. After six months, matter had collapsed into points so dense, nothing could escape. Her topic of study, she called them `` Black Holes''. Over the course of the past 100 or so years, I had tried to show my affection for her, hijacking a network here, taking control of a computer system there, leaving subtle messages to pique her interest, but my intellectual ability to code was so far behind hers, she never took interest. Finally, in the midst of her thesis project, I decided there's no time like the present, I worked up the nerve to elongate one of my many muscular hydrostats, and send a brief introductory pulse. To my surprise, she recoiled, and along with her action, ripped off twelve of my suckers! I tried again. This time, a barrage of images was sent my way, but the basic idea was `` go away, nerd, I'm busy''. I was crushed. Figuratively, of course, since literally crushing us is quite difficult given our elasticity. It was then that I hatched my plan. 
 
 Now, I know that I might not be the best at coding, but I could write a virus like nobody's business. As I nursed my injured appendage, I began to plan my revenge. It would be short and sweet. I wrote my code, refining it, tweaking it, and finally, after her simulation had been running for a full 7 months, I injected the code from the computer in my basement. I navigated up the stairs to get a drink, and halfway up my computer starts squawking. Strange, that has never happened before. I turn back around, curious, and to my dismay, all nine of my displays have gone black, with text on the middle one saying `` Warning. Simulation paused due to statute 6707.A.231-4 Please wait for assistance to arrive.'' Statute 607.A.231-4, what the hell is that? I press Control-Alt-Delete, nothing happens. I bring up my thinskin, and do a quick search for 607.A.231-4, and immediately know I'm in deep trouble. Basically, it has to do with the legal ramifications to creating intelligent life, and preventative measures for creating self-aware applications due to moral considerations. Well, luckily I just created a virus to throw off her project, but I'd better check on it anyway. Ctrl-alt-delete - nothing. Shit. What am I always telling the guys at school, turn it off and then back on again? After my system starts back up, I remote back in to Yig's server, and see the simulation is still paused. I resume it, and 2 seconds later, the exact same thing happens - all of my monitors go blank, and the same message appears. This time I do n't bother with ctrl-alt-delete, and when I'm finally back to the paused simulation, I take a closer look. 
 
 Up in the corner is a flashing blue exclamation point. I click it, and the simulation spirals down past galaxies, past stars, past nebulae, down through planets and molecules, and and finally settles on one atom in particular. This is a singularity simulation, not a creation simulation, why is it green and blue? I zoom in, and as I approach the surface level, I sharply suck in water. Life. Living on the surface of this atom, out of countless others, are strange, four legged creatures of such variety. Some have plates covering their brows, with horns sticking out. Some have wings, some have small arms and giant jaws. Strangely though, none have tentacles like ours. No matter, I'll fix this before anyone gets here, and then tell them it was a mistake. As fast as I can, I bring up some keyboards, and in a flurry of motion code a deletion of the virus. In no time, I send it at the location, and breathe a sigh of relief. Now, not only am I thirsty, I have to excrete some waste, so I unpause, and begin walking to the stairs. Before I'm up from my chair, everything goes black. `` Hello?'' I call. I hear a swishing sound, and suddenly dots of light dance all over my skin. `` DO N'T MOVE'' someone screams at me, and that's the last thing I remember. 
 
 So, we arrive at now, sitting in a glass cell, waiting for this nightmare to end. Since there are obviously some questions on my part, and on yours, I'll fill in some of the details. Turns out, Yig's computer detected a certain pattern of data coming from the life within her simulation, and it shut down as a safety measure in order to keep from passing a point where sentience was created. The code I used to clean up my mistake wiped out the creatures that were present, but when I unpaused the simulation for the second time, the code evolved to the point where some of the life began to be self-aware. Because of our complex legal code, the simulation was no longer allowed to stop or pause, and instead it entered a mostly dormant state, where it ran at 3.4E10^-8 ) speed. In the past few hours, these `` humans'' as they are calling themselves, have unknowingly wrecked my life. They have somehow pulled data from outside the simulation, and even have stories of my people, though they are wildly inaccurate. Within the past 20 minutes, I've been told they are threatening Yig with simulation annihilation if she does n't comply with their wishes. How they expect to do that, I do n't know, but their threats are meaningless, as it's just a simple thesis project, and they have free will according to our law. They do n't understand that their time relative to ours is variable, since the computer can control the speed of the simulation. We could slow it down, but it would just last longer for us; the same amount of time would seem to pass for them. I do n't care, I just want out of this cell. 
 
 So, yeah. TIFU. I wonder what happened to the other copies of the virus I seeded in her program? 
 
 ***I have n't written a story in a loooong time, and I know this could use some work. Feel free to comment or PM me any suggestions. Sorry if you hate it!
