[ CC ] [ PI ] C764 ~ would really appreciate some crit for this piece .

Damn, that's pretty good. Your story has rhythm, vocabulary balance, plot, and I honestly ca n't find any glaring flaws in it. 
 
 So prepare for... 
 
 **NITPICKING** 
 
 > For some reason, the woman and younger kids felt safe around me. The older men did n't, but they always appreciated the help. I found it comedic when I first came here, in a dark way, that as soon as we hit survival mode, the gender roles resumed and nobody fought for equality. We did n't have the time for that. We fought for survival. Of course we had our female heroes, but they were less commonly told stories. 
 
 It feels a bit more like telling and less showing. Let's fix that. 
 
 > For some reason, the women and the younger kids said that they felt safe around me. The older men did n't, but they did appreciate the helping hand I lent. It was comedic, in a dark way, that when we first appeared in this strange place, equality became little more than some forgotten word pushed out of our heads by more important things: food and shelter for example. Sure, we had our campfire tales of woman warriors and heroes, but they were n't as popular around C674. 
 
 Honestly, you're a really good writer. Keep up the good work.
