[ WP ] You discover that Earth is the `` North Korea '' of the galaxy

I stood there, gaping at the gray... *thing* in front of me as it spoke to me in perfect English. 
 
 `` We are here to liberate you! You are now a free and democratic peoples!'' it said in a peculiarly slow and loud manner, as if I was partially deaf. 
 
 I opened my mouth, fully expecting nothing to come out, and I was not disappointed. It gazed at me with a perplexed look on its face, as if something was wrong with me. As if something was wrong with *me*. 
 
 `` Now it's perfectly alright to be confused. I would be confused too, if I suddenly had freedom and liberty, like my home planet,'' it consoled me. 
 
 `` Wha- I don't- What are you talking about?'' I blubbered, looking for any words that appease the sheer absurdity of the situation. 
 
 `` Your oppressive leaders. The Illuminati. We've defeated them!'' 
 
 It chuckled and patted me on the back. 
 
 `` You'll be alright.'' 
 
 It took a few steps back, put a finger- no, a claw- to its temple and slowly faded away in front of me. 
 
 I then did the only thing I *could* do and stare at the empty space in front of me ten minutes. 
 
 `` I knew it!'' I proclaimed. `` It was the Ilermaty all along!''
