[ WP ] A newly-hired bartender is slowly realizing that he 's working at the bar from all of those `` X walks into a bar '' jokes .

I work at the most hipster bar in town. The decor is all `` found art'' -- you know the type. The light fixtures are reclaimed pewter watering pitchers. The stools are upholstered with genuine 1950s car-seat leather. The bar itself is made of fucking doors. 
 
 But it's a job. 
 
 Last night, this horse walks in to the bar. He's been in before and always says the most obtuse things. Today, though. Today was the strangest. 
 
 Walked right up to me, this horse, looked me straight in the eye, and said, `` Where's the bar tender?'' 
 
 It was time to put an end to this. I was done taking his guff. I leaned over the bar, pointed deliberately down, and, keeping his gaze locked with mine, said, `` Right. Fucking. Here.'' 
 
 He smiled. `` Thank you,'' he said, *and started eating the fucking bar! * 
 
 `` Man, you're right. It really *is* tender,'' he said. 
 
 All I could think was, `` Goddammit, I had a year to eat that thing.''
