[ WP ] Once you die you actually become immortal in a different dimension . Humanity learns this is a scientific fact .

The last scoop of sad ice cream tasted sweeter than my ex-girlfriend. I had been unemployed and alone for a decade. Only in sugar did I feel something resembling love. I had failed, or rather never really had a chance. The aching in my chest intensified to a wrong-feeling sting like terrible heartburn, and my left arm went numb. `` Fuck it,'' I thought, and lay back. 
 
 -- - 
 
 I awoke in the gamer chair, reality crashing back. I slithered out of the VR headset and saw my friends smiling at me. 
 
 `` Well?'' Eric the Programmer asked. `` Did you like it? The full temporal simulation? The authentic probabilistic modeling? The lucky break engine?'' 
 
 I goggled. It had been barely ten minutes. Or forty-five years. Hard to say. I stared past him, weeping silently. 
 
 Eric looked confused. `` Seriously, what was it?... you got a top 1 % start... my models put you on track to probably be a celebrity...'' 
 
 I did n't care. Everyone I loved had never existed. 
 
 ``... look, you asked me for something to take your mind off of the football scores. I take it my program was... interesting?'' 
 
 `` Shut it down,'' I croaked. `` The simulations do n't deserve that. No one does. Give the simulations a moment of happiness and a choice to stay in that moment. Shut it down.'' 
 
 `` But you were just asking me what it would be like if people reproduced sexually instead of asexually,'' Eric replied, `` so I decided to give you a simulation so you could experience...'' 
 
 `` You have no idea,'' I croaked, and resumed weeping. 
 
 Eric sighed, typed a few words into the terminal, and pressed enter.
