[ WP ] Christmas in the Wasteland .

Christmas carols blared through people's radios and Pip-Boys. DJ Three Dog had a fondness for Christmas music, though the original songs were lost to time. As such, they made their own. 
 
 Of course, the residents of Megaton threw a wonderful Christmas party ( such that the Children of Atom did not approve ). They decorated the unarmed nuke in ornaments and tinsel, placing presents in the irradiated water. Do n't worry, the wrapping paper is non-radioactive, unlike the children getting handsy with the gifts. 
 
 Eggnog was drank ( though made of 50 % sugar bombs and 50 % whiskey ), songs were sung, and merriment was spread. 
 
 Somewhere in her workshop, Moira happened to find schematics for a fruit-cake. Apparently, fruit-cake was considered a method of torture in the pre-war days, but that part of the schematic was scratched out. In true Moira Brown fashion, she sent out the Lone Wanderer to find fruit. Or, at least a few packs of Dandy Boy Apples. No one has to know. 
 
 The happy Christmas spirit lasted all through the night. That is, until the Lone Wanderer came back, angrier than a deathclaw on psycho. He shouted something about retrieval quests, put on a suit of T51-B power armor, then started gunning people down. Strangely enough, he was screaming Christmas songs while shooting. 
 
 Jingle bells, 
 Mutants smell, 
 A deathclaw laid an egg! 
 Oh, what fun it is to ride on the metro-train all day, hey! 
 Jingle bells, 
 Go to hell, 
 Get shot all the way! 
 Oh, what fun it is to ride a death-train and slay, hey! 
 
 Dashing through the snow, 
 On a robo-Ponytron, 
 Over the corpses we go, 
 Laughing until dawn! 
 Guns on turrets ring, 
 Making bloodshed right! 
 What fun it is to laugh and sing 
 A killing song tonight! 
 
 Jingle bomb, jingle bomb, 
 Jingle bomb rock! 
 Jingle bombs hate 
 And jingle bombs detonate! 
 Snowing and blowing 
 Up dumb citizens! 
 Now the jingle hop 
 Has begun! 
 Jingle bomb, jingle bomb 
 Jingle bomb rock! 
 Jingle bombs BOOM 
 In a shrapnel monsoon! 
 Dying and lying 
 In Jingle Bomb Square! 
 In the frosty air! 
 
 ***** 
 
 It's a bright time, it's the right time! 
 To subscribe to /r/Picklestasteg00d. 
 That did n't rhyme, but I do n't care! 
 That's the pickle bell! 
 That's the pickle bell! 
 That's the pickle bell rock!
