[ WP ] You just survived the apocalypse . Now you 're dealing with some unexpected problems not seen in apocalyptic fiction .

The crank radio continued to switch between the EAS system and whatever was still in the pre-selected rotation at the classic rock station. The Top 40 stations were the first to go days after the initial bombings; We had all agreed that it was the one good thing to come out of this situation. If we had to be held up in our double-wide trailer in the middle of the woods until the government gave the all clear, I'm glad that I could at least have the company of familiar music. 
 
 I had made the three hour journey home when I first heard the stories of the sickness. There was no way I was going to be stuck in my college town with nothing but pepper spray, a Swiss Army Knife, and my tiny Louisville Slugger souvenir bat as my only defense if there were people rising from the dead. No way. 
 
 Dad was another story. 
 
 Dad was prepared for this kind of shit. 
 
 The guy never served in the military, he was just a huge nerd about that sort of thing. Even though we were considered poor by just about everyone's standards he always seemed to bring home some sort of new weapon every two weeks or so. WWII M1 Garand? Yup. Civil War era rifle? Totes. Bazooka? It did n't work, but yup. AK-47? One Israeli, two Russian. Thank God that my parents were rednecks. If there was one person that would be ecstatic in the event of the zombie apocalypse, it was my father. 
 
 I guess I thought it would entail more than just sitting on the couch, keeping our German Shepherd occupied and listening to my younger brother lament about not being able to do anything. The kid had been staring at his dead iPhone off and on for two weeks now. Ted Nugent's'Strangehold' was playing for the fourth time that day. I could read, but the candlelight hurt my eyes, and the spoiled dog in front of me would start crying if I did n't throw her slobbery squeaky toy. 
 
 The door opened to Mom running in, clad in her Carhart overalls and hunting rifle still in hand. `` The tornado siren is going off in New Providence.'' she stated grimly. 
 
 `` What is that supposed to mean?'' I asked. My brother only then seemed to show any sign of being aware of the situation we were facing by simply leaning forward. 
 
 `` I do n't know, but it ca n't be good.'' she replied. `` Where's your dad?'' 
 
 My brother shrugged `` Last I saw he went into you'alls' bedroom. I just assumed he was taking a nap.'' 
 
 Mom huffed in frustration. `` Of fucking course.'' she muttered. `` Xandra, go wake him up. You two need weapons just in case.'' 
 
 Our dog started crying when I got up, seeing that I still had her ball. I handed it to my brother and walked across the living room. 
 
 `` Oh,'' Mom added `` Your brother is n't allowed to use that damn crossbow. He nearly busted his eye with it last time.'' 
 
 `` I thought I could shoot it like Daryl, okay.'' he muttered, throwing the ball towards the other end of the room. 
 
 I opened the door to see that Dad was n't asleep, but sitting on the edge of the waterbed with several of his guns surrounding him. I would've expected them to be in various states of cleaning, but they were all assembled and seemingly ready to go. of all things, the Russian AK with the folding stock seemed to be freshly polished. Yet Dad was sitting there with his face in his hands. 
 
 `` Dad, are you okay?'' 
 
 `` I ca n't do it.'' 
 
 `` Oh come on! How could you not be geared up and ready to go for the zombie onslaught? You've been waiting for this!'' I exclaimed. My brother made some noises of what could only be described as offended surprise. 
 
 He looked up at me in confusion. `` What? No! Not that! Not that at all!'' 
 
 `` Then what ca n't you do?'' 
 
 `` I ca n't pick which one I want use. There's too many and they're all fun.'' 
 
 The muffled sound of a siren, the'Strangehold' guitar solo, and our dog's soft whining filled the gap between my surprised silence and my mother screaming obscenities over hearing Dad's response. 
 
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 ( First time filling out one of these. Yay. ) 

