[ WP ] This is the truth of a liar .

Behind the mask 
 
 I scrolled through my friend list. A few were online, so I started to message them, but I stopped myself. I wanted to talk -- no, I needed to talk -- with someone -- anyone -- just not them them. 
 
 You see, there are different types of friends. There are the ones who you wave to if you see each other, there are the ones who you talk to, but no matter how you really feel, you always mechanically say you're doing well, and then there are the friends that you can break down in front of. Or, so I've heard. I would n't know. 
 
 That's the problem with saying I'll always be there for my friends. At first, I meant it sincerely. I wanted to get to know them; I thought that understanding their pain would let us get closer. I was wrong. The more pain they shared, the more I realized how important it was that I remain strong. The last thing my depressed friends needed to hear was that I had given up. 
 
 So I hid it from them. All of them. I committed early on to being their rock, to being the one who would always say, `` Life will get better! Just keep on breathing!'' Now, if only I could believe myself. 
 
 I felt a tear trail down my cheek. Reactively, I bit my cheek. Hard. The sharp pain overtook my senses, and the tears stopped. With my tongue, I felt over the other scars inside my mouth. I could n't afford to take off my mask. Not here, not ever. Once it comes off, it's not coming back back on. 
 
 `` I'm okay.'' I whispered to my reflection in the mirror. 
 
 Liar, it seemed to respond. 
 
 `` Thing'll get better!'' I tried again. 
 
 And how would you know? 
 
 `` Shut up!'' I screamed and clutched my head, `` Shut up, shut up, shut up!'' 
 
 More tears came flowing out. I bit down until I practically drowned in my own blood, but they still came. I punched the mirror, and it shattered. My knuckles bled and my knees buckled. More tears. 
 
 You're weak! My broken reflection continued to yell, you're a fraud! Did you really think you could help those people? Did you really this act could fool anybody? 
 
 `` I hoped,'' I muttered, `` I hoped and dreamed.'' 
 
 And what about now? Now what consumes your thoughts? Despair? Dread? Worthlessness? 
 
 `` No.'' I stood back up. I could only afford to have one thing on my mind. I wiped my cheeks and closed my eyes. When they opened, they were emotionless. 
 
 That was close. I almost lost control. My mask almost came off. I ca n't let that happen, because once it does, it's never coming back on.
