[ WP ] The world 's worst super hero team saves the world , Write from the Villain 's perspective

^ ( ( Author's note: Eh, could do with a bit of cleanup, but it was fun to write! ) ^ ) 
 
 `` Bwahahaha! Soon, the world will know to tremble in fear of the name, Dr. Die-borg!'' Egh. It sounded better in my head. Ah well. I'm still pretty new to this whole'supervillain' thing, so the first few acts of evil are bound to be a little rough around the edges. 
 
 As I hurried towards the exit, followed by the clanking of my army of metallic goons and with a glowing canister of precious Maguffinium-882 in tow, I ran the to-do list in my head for what was probably the thousandth time today. Build army of subservient robot kung-fu drones? Check. Infiltrate the Megalopolis City Science and Wonder Museum? Check. Steal rare power crystal on loan from the Smithsonian? Check. Thwart any attempts for heroes to stop me? 
 
 ***'' STOP RIGHT THERE, EVIL SCUM!! `` *** 
 
 Not check. 
 
 I froze. I could almost hear the brass of a triumphant theme song playing a rising crescendo in the background. 
 
 `` Through teamwork and friendship, nothing is impossible! Protecting the world with a vibrant light, we are ***THE SPECTRUM SIX RANGERS!! ***'' 
 
 Oh god. It's a sentai team. Although they were behind me, I could already picture them striking some heroic, well-coreographed, color-coordinated pose. They were bound to have some sort of giant mech as well -- probably far outclassing the one I'd spent years designing and building from scratch. My hands trembled. Beads of sweat formed around the ( mostly cosmetic ) cybernetic implants on my forehead. I took a deep breath to calm myself. I'd already put so much work into this plan and had gotten this far -- I'm sure as hell not going to give it up without a fight. 
 
 `` The Spectrum Six Rangers!?'' I hissed as I wheeled around to face them, my army of robo-goons readying their weapons on my signal. `` I do n't know who you are, but you're NOT going... to... stop...'' 
 
 I trailed off, my practiced look of sinister intent turning into one of sheer puzzlement. The one who appeared to be their leader, a man dressed in red spandex standing point, waved his arms theatrically. `` *Evil scum, prepare for your defeat! *'' 
 
 `` Um.'' I responded, ``... there's only five of you.'' 
 
 `` *Love and justice will -- *... what?'' the red ranger appeared to hesitate, but quickly regained his composure. `` *N-No, malificent fiend! The Spectrum Six always -- *'' 
 
 `` Er, he's right...'' A woman dressed in sky blue spandex behind him piped up, `` Judy -- I mean, Ranger Violet said she'd be running late...'' 
 
 Red turned to give Blue what I guessed was a look of incredulity. `` Are you shi-... ugh, fine.'' He turned back to me, pointing a finger accusingly. `` *We, the*, er, *Spectrum Five Rangers* will put a halt to your evil dee -- *'' 
 
 `` Also,'' I interrupted, `` Why are two of you wearing the same color?'' I pointed to two of the rangers wearing yellow. 
 
 The two yellows looked sheepishly at each other. One of them piped up. `` Well, we both liked yellow, and neither of us liked orange much...'' 
 
 `` Then... how are we supposed to tell either of you apart?'' I continued, unsure why I was, `` I mean, that's the whole point of the different colors, right? Telling you apart when you've got those costumes on, I mean.'' 
 
 I could see Red pressing his palm to his face in irritation. ``... knew that was a bad idea... Right! If that's all --'' 
 
 `` And speaking about costumes, what the hell is Mr. Green over there wearing?'' 
 
 All eyes turned on the green ranger. Over his spandex costume was a pair of jeans that had been spray-painted green. Red was visibly agitated. `` Oh for FUCK'S sake, Kevin!'' 
 
 Green seemed nonplussed by the sudden attention. `` But duuuude! You can totally see my junk through these costumes!'' he hissed back. 
 
 `` E-ENOUGH TALK!'' The blue ranger, possibly in an effort to save face, piped up, `` You wo n't get away from us, Dr. Die-Borg! ***Aquarius Cannon! ***'' 
 
 I screwed my eyes shut and stepped backwards, raising an arm to shield myself from whatever would come. The Blue ranger certainly seemed like one of the more prepared members of the ragtag group; taking advantage of my mild shock to attack was a smart move. I waited for an impact. 
 
 *shnka-shnka-shnka-shnka* 
 
 Nothing happened. Just the odd sound of something being pumped? Cautiously, I cracked open one eye. 
 
 Blue was hurriedly pumping away on what appeared to be a plastic water gun, sloppily painted blue, with the word `` Aquarius'' written along the side in black marker. `` Uh, hold on, just... just give me a sec...'' Red appeared to be slamming his head against a nearby wall. 
 
 It was painful to watch. I had built my robot goons to be without a shred of emotion, and even they seemed embarrassed. `` Er...'' I eventually said, `` Listen... It... kind of looks like your group has a few things to sort out... um...'' I looked at the glowing silver canister in my arms, and gently set it on the ground in front of me. `` Er... I do n't... I do n't normally do this, but... uh... how about I give you a bit of time to... ah... iron out the kinks, yes? I'll, ah, just come back later to steal the power crystals... let's see... How's next Tuesday sound?'' 
 
 The rangers looked from one to another. Except Red, who was sitting against a nearby wall, his head buried in his arms. Green piped up. `` Sounds good, bro.'' 
 
 `` Excellent.'' I clasped my hands with an uncomfortable grin. `` Um. Well. See you all then.'' With a wave of my hand, my robo-goons began to shuffle out of the museum, me following suit. None of them seemed to want to stop me. 
 
 I sighed. Questions ran through my head. Why did n't I just take the Maguffinium-882? Will those Spectrum Six buffoons ever get their act straight? Is the city doomed in the hands of these bunglers? I guess I'll find out next time...
