[ WP ] While playing D & D with some friends , one of the characters `` escapes through a portal '' . The same character suddenly walks into the room you 're in , utterly confused .

`` Alright so Tripbip you want to take the black bone crown from the Arch Emperor Lich Kings corpse right?'' 
 
 Daniel asked it in that way GMs do where you just know they want you to do it because it ca n't possibly end well for the player. Now unfortunately for us, Ella gets bored easily and likes to `` liven things up a bit'' as she puts it. 
 
 `` Yeah, I want to go over and put it on my head, but I want to do it without anyone seeing.'' 
 
 `` Alright roll your stealth, oh and remember you have your cloak of shadows that gives you plus 5 to stealth'' 
 
 You could see the glee in his eyes as he remembered that last bit. She made a big show of rolling the dice waving her hands around and blowing on them, Brent decided to close his eyes and put his hands over his ears while the rest of us watched transfixed. 
 
 `` Holy crap it's a natural 20, that's like 33 right?'' 
 
 `` Well it's a 32, but yeah that does n't really change anything. So, you all start looking around the room for loot or anything you missed before.'' 
 
 Everyone except for Ella Daniel and Brent have a look of utter disappointment on their faces. Ella and Daniel have the biggest shit eating grins while Brent's eyes were still closed and his hands were still firmly over his ears. I tapped him on the shoulder but he just shook his head. 
 
 `` I do n't want to know, I ca n't take it right now man.'' 
 
 `` Right well, anyway. A few moments later Kralzug you notice that there is a floating bone crown that looks strangely similar to the one the Arch Emperor Lich King was wearing, you then see the small figure of your friend and companion under it.'' 
 
 `` I grin and wave at Kralzug before putting it on.'' 
 
 I have seen Daniel this happy 3 times before, twice right before he party wiped us and once when he got to the front page of Reddit. There was a small chance he just got to the front page again, though probably not a big one. 
 
 `` You place the crown on your head, and feel nothing... Then you see the shadows spewing from the corpse of the Lich King coalescing into the form of a giant Tripbip, it does n't look happy.'' 
 
 `` Welp now that we're all going to be killed by a giant halfling shadow thing, I would like to cast Earthquake making sure that we're not in the area of effect.''. 
 
 Well I guess I was right about the chances of Daniel making a front page post. Maybe I could play a Half-Orc bard for my next character, cause we're all about to wipe. Either the giant shadow Tripbip kills us or the fact that Sam is casting a earthquake spell underground in a ancient tomb will. Well I guess I should probably do something. 
 
 `` Okay I want to run as fast as I can towards the dead body and see if I can find any magical looking object that would fit in that alter we found before.'' 
 
 `` Alright, you find a fist sized rock with runes carved into it that looks like it might fit. While you do that the spell finishes casting and the room starts to tremble as cracks spread across the room.'' 
 
 `` Oh crap I forgot we were underground.'' 
 
 Brent finally comes back to us and I think he understands what I'm doing. Shit I'm just going to have to wing it. 
 
 `` I want to sprint back to the room with the alter and shout for everyone to follow.'' 
 
 `` I'm guessing everyone follows? If you do n't say so. Alright so the door to that has n't caved in yet so you can make it back there easily, though the Shadow Tripbip follows you.'' 
 
 `` I shout to everyone else.'Kralzug will kill Shadow Tripbip and save friends! For my friends!' I want to fight it while walking back a bit every turn'' 
 
 Alright so Brent is n't the best with words but at least he knows my plan, I think. If he does n't then well Kralzug thanks for your sacrifice. 
 
 `` Okay Kralzug while you fight Shadow Tripbip you can see the throne room starting to collapse, the cracks racing towards you. The rest of you make it back to the alter.'' 
 
 `` As soon as I get there I slam the stone into it.'' 
 
 `` Instantly a purplish portal materializes before you, you can hear the tomb starting to collapse.'' 
 
 Hah! It worked, I knew it would. Everyone saved again, the only problem is where the portal goes. 
 
 `` Okay I tell the others to get in and shout as loud as possible to Kralzug to come, then as soon as they go through I do.'' 
 
 `` Do either of you not want to go through the portal?'' 
 
 `` I wait for Delaranthian to go through, then I do.'' 
 
 `` Yeah I go through, how bad is the tomb doing by the way?'' 
 
 `` Oh you know in a matter of minutes the entire tomb and connecting cave systems will be nothing but ruble.'' 
 
 I'm not sure which of the two look more pleased by that. 
 
 `` Did I hear that.'' 
 
 `` Oh yeah sorry you did.'' 
 
 `` I jump in the portal by the way, as soon as the other two do.'' 
 
 `` Yeah I know.'' 
 
 `` Right, I stop fighting and charge through the portal to freedom.'' 
 
 HAH IT WORKED! No TPK tonight Daniel! 
 
 `` You know you're going to take an attack of opportunity right?'' 
 
 `` Yeah that's fine.'' 
 
 `` Goddammit, Tripbip swings a shadowy claw at you but you puff out your chest and it bounces harmlessly off, you manage to slip away and jump into the portal just as it starts to fade. Well I think that's a good place to e...'' 
 
 Daniel trails off as a incredibly loud banging and crashing sound comes from the kitchen. We all stop motionless staring each other. 
 
 `` You locked the doors right Jake?'' 
 
 Everyone was staring at me now, waiting for my answer. I had locked the door, had n't I? My family was n't home, and I defiantly locked the door. Was it the cat, or an earthquake that would be ironic. 
 
 `` Uh yeah I think so, it's probably just the wind, if your so concerned go have a look for yourself.'' 
 
 `` Um yeah I will, though someone should come with me, ya know in case.'' 
 
 `` I'm thirsty anyway I'll come.'' 
 
 About a minute later a loud'holy shit!' from Brent followed by a gruff'Who are you Human!? And what is this place?' then Daniel came sprinting back into the room with a look on his face I've never seen before. 
 
 `` What the hell is happening in there Daniel?'' 
 
 `` Uhh um, th- there is a massive Orc in your kitchen Jake.'' 
 
 - NL 
 
 Edit: This is my first post here so any advice would be welcome: )
