[ WP ] Earth is discovered by a peaceful coalition of civilizations . Turns out we missed several major technologies normally developed by now . The aliens are very confused how we got here .

Zorniffous was unsure. Zorniffous was also 100 % certain. 
 
 That is to say that Zorn, as his friends knew him, was feeling very uncertain about his very accurate understanding of the situation. 
 
 The fact was, this world was puttering along just nicely in some key respects. In others, they were magnificently failing. 
 
 The report to the homeworld might get him klubooked from the University. No one in any position of authority would believe a word of it. 
 
 Zorn stroked his ruddington with his favorite clawdorf and pondered the next move. 
 
 Philosophers had wondered for centuries what alternative technological pathways could exist, and here was a wonderful example of it, ripe for study. It seemed this world developed on the basis of accidental discovery rather than rigorous testing. Happy accidents provided them with antibiotics prior to the development of hormonal manipulation and something consistently impeded their willingness to experiment on others of their own species. 
 
 If they were only sufficiently committed, aging, dementia, and mental and physical illnesses would be over. 
 
 Why would n't they want to change? Is n't life suffering? Is n't the purpose of science to improve the conditions of being? 
 
 Zorn sighed from a little over half of his gumbles and puzzled about this strange species' commitment to their current form. 
 
 If he told others, they would come here to gawk at these narcissists; at least those who were n't too busy laughing at Zorn. 
 
 `` Oh well,'' thought Zorn after a few hours of mulling whether to share his discovery, `` I already have tenure anyways.'' 
 
 The ovular cruiser orbiting the planet turned, speeding far, far away from the strange and backward planet, populated with a species wholly uncommitted to exploring the wonders of the universe. 
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 EDIT: Removed some made up pronouns intended to convey alienness of Zorniffous. However, on switching the pronouns, it became clear I had been writing in part to incorporate as many as I could and that even after swapping the pronouns it was still a bit disjointed as a result. 
 

