[ WP ] Due to your poor spelling , you 've accidentally summoned Stan .

`` Yeah whatcha need?'' The middle aged Brooklyn man said, standing in the middle of my pentagram. 
 
 `` I... I'm sorry, who are you?'' I asked him, wondering why I was given a man instead of Satan. 
 
 `` You should know who I am, you summoned me ya little shit!'' He said slightly aggravated. 
 
 `` I tried to summon Satan, I'm pretty sure I got that right.'' I said to him 
 
 `` Nonono, you wrote'Stan' on the piece of human leather you burned in that obsidian basin. It flew and hit me in the face, while I was watching the ball game on TV, now be quick because if my wife comes out to tell me dinner is ready and I'm not there she'll be so pissed and I'll have to sleep in the hallway. Wait I even have that leather on me.'' He searched the pockets of his heavy canvas coat pulling out the same piece of leather I threw in the basin, though a bit crispy on the edges. 
 
 `` Oh geez, I was so excited too. I spent so much time finding that spell book, casting the basin, getting the leather. It took me months to get that much virgin blood to make the pentagram.'' I lamented 
 
 `` Yeah well you got me, now what the hell to you want'' he very roughly replied 
 
 `` You can help me the same way Satan can?'' I asked 
 
 `` Yeah, totally, he gave me the powers so he does n't have to deal with you illiterate assholes.'' 
 
 `` I... I want all the knowledge of all the universes.'' I said proudly 
 
 `` Oh geez, another one of you asses. Your head will explode if I try that now, and I ca n't go back home covered in what little brains you have between your ears. Call me back on Thursday, whenever is good for you, it's my day off and I do n't feel like going to the bar. Take the leather back it'll still work, there's a guy in Queens who sells virgin blood by the pint, he can mail it to you, here's his card.'' He hands me my leather and a small laminated cars with a name and number on it. 
 
 `` Uh, thanks, I guess, hail Stan?'' I said tentatively 
 
 `` Yeah, what the fuck ever.'' He replied shifting his hat on his head and disappearing in a puff of sulfuric smoke.
