[ WP ] Find a random post on r/TIFU and make an explanation for the title without reading the post .

TIFU by disgracing the housekeeping staff. 
 
 I was down at Coffs Harbour with my mates, it had been way too long since we went anywhere together and even then not all the lads could make it, so it was just the three of us. Their names are n't important and I do n't want my identity revealed so lets just skip ahead. 
 
 We had rented a room at a resort, two beds in the same room between us, which makes it difficult to get private time, especially since we spent every waking hour in each other's company. Four days went by without even a stroke, the longest I've ever held it since I stayed over at my relo's. It was excruciating, I walked around with a boner almost 50 % of the day and even the housekeeping maid, an overweight hispanic lady, started to look appetising. 
 
 The fifth day I convinced myself I had to let it go. It was exhausting dealing with the erections, which did n't make for a relaxing holiday. So, the plan was to sleep in and let my mates go downstairs for brekky while I yank the mango tree to the free previews they had on the adult pay-per-view. Yes, I do n't need any longer than that. 
 
 As they left the room I made sure to wait a bit longer in case they forgot anything. They did n't. I switched on the telly, put on the adult channel and started goin' at it - speed was key, this needed to end fast. I quickly started to verge on a climax and it was at this point that the door knob started to turn.'They're back already!?' I panicked, mid climax, I turned to find the remote, scrambling to press the off button. It was at this point that it decided to cum. I came all over the remote and a fair bit on the sheets. Shit. Just when my greatest weapon, premature ejaculation, had turned into my greatest weakness, I managed to turn off the tv despite the gunk on it. I then flipped the bedsheets over on the other side hoping the smell would n't be noticeable. I then rolled off the bed and hid underneath it, buck naked, and praying to shit I do n't get found. 
 
 In walks these stumpy, fat legs. It was the hispanic cleaner. She stopped for a second and mumbled something foreign in a tone of disgust. As she started doing the other clean bed, I noticed the remote in front of me, glistening in jizz, lying there within an arms reach. Should I leave it and hope she does n't notice? Or should I risk my cover? My mind raced, heart pounding, I tried to think but to no avail. She was too close, there was no way she could not see it once she got to my bed. As I panicked further, the maid had already finished with the other bed. I visibly see her stop in confusion, she kneels down to take a closer look at the remote. She bursts into a flurry of Español rage as she notices exactly what was sitting so gelatinously on the remote. 
 
 While this is all happening I'm wondering just how to get out of this, my mates should be coming back in a few minutes and I have no clue if she's going to be gone by then. My arms were starting to tire from holding myself up, so I repositioned myself. That was a mistake. She must have heard my arms scraping against the carpet because as soon as I did she stopped and slowly lowered herself. First her left eye, then her right appeared with the rest of her stone, cold face. It took a moment to process, but when she did she started screaming, flinging her arms wildly as she jumped back in horror. I do n't know why, but I thought it was a good idea to come out and calm her down, maybe even explain myself. I was wrong. 
 
 As I crawled out of what to her must have been some black magic portal, she feel backwards and the remote she was holding onto, that she was cleaning, flew towards her face. The jizz splattered right across her lips and, as a bonus, sonehow during all this commotion the telly turned on to the last channel it was on - porn. She was sobbing, yelling and screaming at the same time. Here I am, my hose still dripping, a maid in front of me with my product, a tv blaring lesbian porn.The noise attracted other staff to the open door in the hallway, I just could n't move, I did n't know what to do. A family of four passed by, the parents trying to protect their kids' innocence. My mates were also there, laughing the hardest I've ever seen them. 
 
 I soon after apologised and explained what happened to the management. It seemed they had trouble keeping a straight face too. She was still in shock and I was told not to approach her, so I wrote a letter instead hoping she could read it or have it read to her. I felt horrible. The resort staff left it at that and I never heard from the woman again. And I'm sure she's glad to see the back of me, or rather, glad not to see the backside of me.
