[ WP ] When a person dies , they do not leave their body . They are sentient inside their corpse until it is destroyed/decomposed .

Blackness. Where was I? Oh, yeah. I was dead. That might explain the slight migraine I felt coming on. What a way to go — hit by a car on my way to get a packet of cigarettes. The cigarettes had been twice as expensive as usual. Bastards. 
 
 It occurred to me that I probably was n't taking being dead too seriously. 
 
 I could n't move, so that ruled *that* option out. I could still feel, oddly enough. That was good, I supposed. Not that there was much to do with the information. I could only sit there and wait. 
 
 My family had opted for an open coffin for the funeral, so I heard everything the priest had said about me. Have you ever listened to your own eulogy? It's bloody tedious, is what it is. Yes, I know I was taken before my time, blah blah blah. Honestly, I would rather take another car in the back than have to listen to this drivel. 
 
 The only sad part, perhaps, was that there was no-one really there to mourn me. My parents were both long dead, and my only sibling was over in the United States with his wife and three kids. He did n't even call. I hoped that I'd remembered to write him out of my will before I'd gone. 
 
 Then they finally packed up the service and my coffin was screwed shut. Point of interest, by the way — why the hell do they have to screw the lid onto the coffin? Do they expect someone to dig me up for my corpse? If someone was prepared to dig up six feet of soil and then haul my fat ass inside a big wooden box all the way up just to get my rotting old body, I say they deserve to have it. 
 
 And now I'm stuck in here until I'm nothing but a skeleton in a fancy suit. I would have settled for rising as a zombie or something, but let me tell you, there's nothing more boring than waiting for yourself to decompose. I am literally killing time here.
