[ WP ] There are food critics and movie critics . Then there 's you : the serial killer critic .

'The hardest part, I find, is not the job itself. I know that sounds strange, but once you're accustomed to the gore and the blood-spattered walls, the bits of bone under your feet as you slip past police cordons, and the stench of rot and death accompanying every scene, it's not that bad. Enjoyably macabre, even. I'm a butcher's son at heart, see, so all the nasty stuff does n't bother me. Dad was bringing home hacked-up lamb, wool hanging off it and everything, when I was just a boy.' 
 
'So, forgive me, Anthony, but what exactly is the hardest part of the job?' 
 
'Oh yes. I was getting to that. It's the stigma attached to it, you know? Dates are the worst. You're a what? they say as they're sipping their Chianti. I'm a serial killer critic, I say. And of course they up and leave, like I'm wrong in the head. I'm not the psycho - I review psychos! For instance, I'm trying to finish the piece I'm doing about the Rattlesnake killer - the one in the news recently. Heard of him?' 
 
'Unfortunately, yes. Terrible piece of work. Sick.' 
 
'He's pretty nasty, that's for certain. So I'm telling this scorching Italian girl about the intricacies of his craft - the precise way he strings together the finger bones and hangs the skin around them, you know? And she projectile vomits, all over the table, all into the delicious fava bean starter we were enjoying. It was a nice restaurant, too, the new Indian one on the high street - great reviews on TripAdvisor.'Course, we were kicked out pretty soon after that.' 
 
'I see. So, you've never considered trying a new profession? Being a different type of critic? Something more conventional?' 
 
'I ca n't say I have, Rhonda, and do you know why? You can lead with this quote, if you want, for the article. Food critics, TV snobs, cinema buffs - they're a dime-a-dozen. Me? I'm a serial killer critic - who else is going to come and steal my thunder?'
