[ WP ] You summon the Dark One . She 's a lot perkier than you expected .

She went by many titles. Devourer of Worlds, Destroyer of Heavens, Nameless One of the Eighth Circle of Hell... but she was most commonly known as `` the Dark One.'' And she stood in my living room. With her chestnut brown hair that dropped down to her shoulders, cheerful red eyes, pug nose, strawberry lips and vibrant clothes, she looked nothing like her title suggested. 
 
 `` Nice place ya got here buddy, must've cost you a fortune!'' The Dark One went around the room, picking up various objects and studying them up close. She turned to me and flashed me a toothy smile. `` Not a talkative one, are you?'' 
 
 `` I... I uh... did n't think...'' I stammered. 
 
 `` It's ok man, just spit it out! I do n't bite.'' She laughed heartily and then turned towards the kitchen. I followed her in as she rummaged through my refrigerator. 
 
 `` The... book, I did n't think it would...'' 
 
 `` Would work? Ah, that's alright Georgy boy. None of them think it'll work until boom, here I am. First time I've ever been summoned by a human, though. I must say, I'm a little excited!'' The Dark One pulled a slice of cake out of my fridge. She looked at it curiously, then gave the icing a cautious lick. `` Mmmm... that's, that's really good!'' 
 
 `` Th-they do n't have cake, where you ’ re from?'' 
 
 `` Only souls of the damned.'' She shrugged. She held the cake in front of her face and began to suck in air. After a couple of seconds had passed, she put the cake down on the kitchen bench and looked at it in an inquisitive manner. 
 
 `` What ar... what are you trying to do?'' Even though the Dark One was in my kitchen room, I did n't feel nearly as threatened as I felt I should've been. There was something in the way she acted that betrayed the title of `` Dark One.'' She was a lot more... perky, than I had expected. 
 
 `` I'm trying to suck out the essence of... what did you call it? Cake? But it's putting up a bit of a struggle.'' She slammed her fist down on the cake, causing it to splatter across the room. After that, she started sucking in air again. 
 
 `` Well, uhh, we do n't... humans do n't suck out the essence of cake, they... they eat it.'' 
 
 She gave me a queer glance. `` Eating is for flesh, silly.'' 
 
 `` Well, in humanland... or Earth, I do n't know what demons...'' 
 
 `` It's Earth,'' she interjected. `` Humanland is just... that's just a really dumb thing to say.'' 
 
 `` Well, anyways, on Earth, humans eat more than just flesh. In fact, they do n't even eat flesh. Well, I mean, they can, if they're desperate... or they're just messed in the head, but... but that's not relevant to my point, what I'm trying to say is that on Earth we eat lots of things.'' 
 
 `` Including cake?'' 
 
 `` Yes, including cake. Just, pop it in your mouth. See if you like it.'' 
 
 `` Well, there's a first time for everything I suppose.'' The Dark One shot out a forked tongue at what remained of the cake, wrapped it up, and then pulled it back into her mouth. After a couple of seconds of chewing her eyes lit up. `` Oh. My God.'' 
 
 `` You-you like it then?'' 
 
 `` Like it?'' She paused. `` I **LOVE** IT!'' She pulled the tray of cake out of the fridge then opened her mouth wider than humanly possible. She threw the entire tray in and was finished eating in a second. `` This is better than any planet I've ever eaten!'' 
 
 `` Planet?'' 
 
 `` They do n't call me'Devourer of Worlds' for nothing, silly!'' She placed a hand on my head and ruffled my hair playfully. 
 
 I pushed her away, scared out of my wits now. `` How many planets have you eaten?'' 
 
 `` I dunno, eighteen? I always eat the planets of the people that summon me. I then keep their eternal soul in a jar so I can play with'em forever! Look!'' She pulled a small jar out of her pocket and immediately the shrill scream of eighteen souls filled the room. She laughed and shook the jar, and the screaming intensified. She then put the jar back in her pocket and the screaming stopped. 
 
 My face went white. `` Does this mean you'll eat Earth too?'' 
 
 `` Well typically it does, but I do n't know now. Do you know if any other planets have cake?'' 
 
 I considered what she said for a moment, before realising the conclusion she was coming to. `` NO, NO no other planets... none, Earth original....original recipe, no other planets have cake! It's an Earth original! Nowhere else!'' 
 
 She looked as if to be in deep thought. After some time had passed, she snapped her fingers and pointed at me. `` You!'' 
 
 `` M-me?'' 
 
 `` Yes, you! How would you like to be my cakeslave?'' 
 
 `` Ca..cakeslave?'' 
 
 `` Yes, cakeslave. Cake is the best thing I've ever eaten and I'm sure as hell not going to eat Earth anytime soon if it means no more cake. So you are now my eternal cakeslave.'' 
 
 `` Bu-'' 
 
 `` No buts mister, you work for me now! You will feed me cake from now on.'' 
 
 `` Is that-is that it?'' 
 
 `` Yeah, that's it. I must warn you though: I have quite the appetite. I used to eat planets, you know.'' 

