[ WP ] You 're a bomb defuser . Ranked number one , saving thousands of lives . Your trade secret ? You have no idea what you 're doing .

`` Ty, hurry it up,'' she whispered. `` Clock is at seven minutes and counting.'' 
 
 Together, we knelt on the ground, around what appeared to be the finest selection of nineties board game pieces and discarded Chinese electronics a New Jersey landfill could belch up. 
 
 `` Can I have another swig?'' I asked. 
 
 It rarely hurt to ask. Sometimes she gave it up without a fight, but my sister was as hardheaded as I. It often felt like she only gave in after a calculated risk assessment indicated a sip of whiskey would make me work *better. * Like I was an engine in need of an oil change before a day on the track. 
 
 `` Bes?'' I plied. 
 
 `` Fine. *One* more. I'm watching.'' 
 
 She passed me the flask. I took a long, deliberate, drag out of the contents. We'd be stopping at ABC on the way back after a job like this. Did New Jersey even have ABC stores, or was it like New Hampshire, where the state had to sponsor the store for them to get a liquor license. Maybe we'd get an upgrade to First Class on the way home. I bet they'd let me have six drinks this time. The lady on the way here told me I could only have five by law, but I had a suspicion she was just being stingy. I did n't care for stingy people. 
 
 `` How were these people even fooled by this one?'' I asked. `` Is that the timer off a game of *Perfection*?'' 
 
 `` You have no idea, do you?'' Replied my sister. 
 
 Truth is, I *did*. Once word got out of my exploits, the country over, many local and county police forces abandoned their own EOD units. Could n't blame them, we demanded less then they paid in *insurance*, let alone hazard pay for these poor schlubs. But we had a secret weapon. Well... I did. That one time my sister tried to use them, she ended up losing herself in a bet. She had to date that reject for... 
 
 `` Hey, Bes? Are n't you late for a *meeting*?'' I chided. 
 
 `` Do n't remind me,'' she groaned back. 
 
 `` How many more do you owe that guy? What was his name?'Talon'?'' 
 
 I looked up, no longer concentrating at the task at hand. She had taken notice, but then again, I'd also hit a soft spot. My sister was... how should I put it? Unlucky. 
 
 `` Talos. Do n't remind me.'' 
 
 `` Who names their kid'Talos'?'' I asked, stifling a laugh. 
 
 `` Could you focus here? Four minutes.'' 
 
 `` Unfortunate, that guy,'' I clucked, shaking my head. 
 
 `` Unfortunate - me.'' 
 
 `` Pass me the dice.'' 
 
 `` Really, again? I think they're watching. You ca n't do this again.'' 
 
 `` Just pass them. *Three* minutes, sister.'' 
 
 I was mocking her, and she was getting heated. This always made things a little more exciting. 
 
 She groaned again, and gave in. 
 
 `` You know you're a laughing stock, right?'' 
 
 She reached into her bag and produced an old hard-shelled cigar case. It rattled, fat with a selection of polyhedral dice. Once in my hands, I spilled the contents to the floor and selected two - a purple one and a white one. 
 
 `` Is it better to be famous, or infamous?'' I asked her, casting the dice to the ground: seventy-seven came the result. 
 
 `` They're the same thing, sister.'' 
 
 `` No,'' I murmured, flicking open my multi-tool in a neat motion. `` To be famous, people most love you. To be infamous, they're uncertain about you, but you carry reknown.'' 
 
 `` Who says?'' She shouted, then after a pause: `` One minute!'' 
 
 `` Damn.'' 
 
 I had forgotten to decide what the roll meant before casting the dice - a rookie mistake. 
 
 `` This is it. This is how I die,'' muttered sister. 
 
 Always the dramatic one. I noticed that was a trend with prettier siblings. More beauty - more drama. 
 
 I cut the red wire. There was silence for a moment. 
 
 *Bzzzzzt* came the sound of the timer. It shocked me. Not because I expected to explode, but because I expected my sister to catch a yellow plastic half-moon to the eye. It had been that way since we were little, she was always so... misfortuned. 
 
 `` Job well done! Come on, let's snag a beer and watch the south-beach bros flex at each other!'' 
 
 `` You forgot again, did n't you?'' She asked, still clutching her hair. 
 
 `` Never mind that! Are n't you late for a date or something?'' 
 
 `` I want a new life.''
