[ WP ] The `` grim and gritty '' re-boot of a beloved children 's television show goes horribly , horribly wrong . Or perhaps horribly right .

I scratched at my face. Whiskers were coming in. It had been what? Four days since I shaved? Five? Hard to remember. I padded through my living room in my blue cardigan. No pants. All the blinds were drawn. The light hurts my eyes after a binge. I never wore pants anymore unless I had to. Almost tripped over the roomba. A pile of pizza boxes fell, some ginger beer bottles clattered on the floor. Katerina was passed out on the couch, she shifted. Her works next to her. 
 
 Frantic knocking at the door. I stumble to the eyehole and squint. Shit, he's back. What the fuck do I do now? 
 
 `` Daniel, open up! I know you're home'' 
 
 `` I told you to never come back to my neighborhood, you bald motherfucker!'' 
 
 `` I do n't know what Rosie told you Daniel, but I need your help! I've got a deal lined up! Listen, we can make a fortune! I can pay back Mommy and Daddy for my leukemia treatments, and we'll both be rich! We can discuss this like reasonable adults if you just open the door!'' 
 
 Godammit. I just did n't feel like fighting anymore. 
 
 `` Look Caillou, I'm out, ok? I'm never cooking again.'' 
 
 `` Daniel, I know this is n't the best time, but I do n't know how much longer I've got to live, and I've got a deal lined up with The Man In The Yellow Hat. We do n't need to sell it anymore. We just focus on the production, he moves the product for us. No muss, no fuss.'' 
 
 `` I dunno Caillou, what about his monkey? If you cross him, he'll rip your goddamn face off. And then there's Wyatt. He's suspicious. He was here the other day asking questions.'' 
 
 `` Let me worry about the monkey, Daniel, I've got it all figured out. And as far as Wyatt and his `` investigative squad', they could n't find their own asses if you fed them the clues one letter at a time.'Super Why' my ass.''
