[ CC ] [ PI ] C764 ~ would really appreciate some crit for this piece .

My critique is n't quite as positive and shoulder-patting as the other ones are. Sorry, but I do n't think it's worth wasting either my or your time going over went went well. I also would n't waste my time critiquing something not worth critiquing, so although it may not seem like it, I enjoyed the story. 
 
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 Right off the bat, awkward phrasing here: 
 
 > Thinking about it now, I do n't think I could n't actually done anything. 
 
 Your MC is obviously fond of repetition throughout the story, but this second use of'think' is n't following that same pattern, it seems more like a mistake that could be caught in a second or third edit. Either have it be `` I do n't think I could have actually done anything, looking back,'' or `` Thinking about it now, I could n't have actually done anything.'' It seems like a small problem maybe, but it is n't. Readers lose interest with every line, so you need to make the opening strong, not awkwardly phrased. When you polish a short story, catch these lines and fix them. It is n't just nitpicking. 
 
 > A emotionless something... 
 
 Should be an. Again, this would be nitpicking in a normal prompt reply, but in this short story you choose to showcase, it should be polished out. 
 
 > created with no bones, yet had the strength of a thousand men... 
 
 Bah, this looks like the writing of fan-fiction.'Created with no bones' implies the MC knows the backstory of this shadow, yet as I found while reading on, he does n't. The word'Yet' should n't be there, it would imply that bones have some correlation to strength. It seems you're trying to be poetic and it is n't working. Just go simple. `` Boneless and strong beyond any reason''. 
 
 Way too much info-dumping in the story. This whole thing is an info dump, with almost no action occurring at all. Again, this is the start of a piece, make it shine so the reader keeps reading. 
 
 All in all, it's good. I would read on, for a while. I would n't buy it. It looks unpolished.
