[ WP ] The mega office buildings of the future have grown so huge that a nomadic people developed who travel from office wing to wing , subsisting on leftover doughnuts , birthday cakes , and pizza parties .

`` Oh, it appears the IT department is finally emerging from the server room at the dawn of this new day. Things can get pretty noisy in there but they do n't seem to mind. A bearded fellow steps out to check the surroundings, giving the all-clear.'' 
 
 `` A small group of system engineers emerge from the server room. Although noisy at times the servers can get pretty toasty and this small tribe is known to huddle near the servers for warmth. The room is climate controlled as well, making this their home base was a clever decision for those who know how to work the server room and it's tech. Unfortunately the room has no means of sustaining the population, so they must leave their cosy quarters to look for sustenance.'' 
 
 `` IT Folk are known to consume copious amounts of coffee and they always run low. They wo n't allow themselves to bring any food or drink to their quarters. For fear of spillage and damaging or offending the servers that provide them with warmth. We firmly believe there is some kind of religion at play here revolving around a penguin but have not been able to confirm this because of the timid nature of the tribe.'' 
 `` In today's episode of `` *Corporate Conflicts*'' we will continue to follow this tribe.'' 
 `` A lone scout is send forward, he appears distraught. He looks towards his tribesman, he does not want to go. His tribesman encourage him by shouting phrases from Sci-Fi shows long forgotten. This seems to have rekindled his determination.'' 
 
 `` Today's scout moves in the same pattern as the one the day before. Checking meeting rooms to see if teams from marketing or the board of directors have visited. He visits the meeting rooms those tribes are known to frequent. Marketing wants the room to look appealing and drags in various bagels, donuts and sandwiches. But they never eat any of them, for unknown reasons. It is commonly known that the people from the marketing tribe are always skinny. When we prompted the tribe on this behaviour they replied'We feel like having the bread there sends a message, that we provide. Any member can take whatever they want. We count companionship, trust and solidarity among our core values and believe they will contribute to a better you. In the end it does n't matter what we can do for ourselves, but what we can do for you,' We did n't feel like we got an answer to our question but did not prompt them any further.'' 
 
 `` The lone system engineer turned scout scavenges a few completely untouched boxes of sandwiches and returns to share his spoils with the group. 
 They seem delighted and huddle together in a corner near the server room to devour their spoils. 
 What's this? Oh, no. It appears a scuffle has broken out between 2 members of the IT tribe. We are n't sure what's going as the language they use contains large amount of tech lingo we do not yet understand at this time but it appears to be about system architecture. When facing down an opponent in battle a member of IT will use increasing amounts of sarcasm against his opponents. It is incredibly effective against fellow IT members but completely ineffective against some of the other tribes that do not seem to grasp sarcasm and take everything at face value. `` 
 
 `` All members of the IT tribe seem on edge and are quite irritable, for none of them had any coffee as of yet. 
 They blurt out random remarks filled with sarcasm which are replied to with remarks with more sarcasm and those remarks... well, you can see where we're going with this.'' 
 
 `` The lone scout is send out again. This time tasked with a mission to retrieve coffee before the tribe sarcasms itself towards destruction.'' 
 `` Once again the scout is afraid to stray far from the server room but is comforted by a senior engineer with a quote straight out of Star Trek.'' 
 `` With regained determination, the scout sets out. Not knowing the dangers that lurk ahead. From our view we can clearly see the perils ahead. We fear for the red-shirted scout.'' 
 
 `` There are many coffee machines scattered across the tundra of known as `` East Wing''. Unlike other tribes the IT tribe will not move from it's server room unless it absolutely has too. The coffee machines are state-of-the-art and are linked to the network. Trough some IT wizardry one of the network engineers instructs the machine nearest to the server room to set a pot of coffee. The scout only has to retrieve the pot of coffee from the coffee machine they visit regularly. But other tribes are aware that IT frequents this coffee machine and prowl the perimeter, ready to pounce.'' 
 
 `` The lone scout slowly approaches the coffee machine with an unmistakeable'IT' posture. The enemy tribe pounces. 4 gentlemen in suits swagger towards the lone scout, holding the coffee pot in trembling hands. It's the worst possible outcome, this red shirted could not have been more unfortunate. It's Sales.'' 
 
 `` One of the suited men closes in with a smile, slamming his hand on the shoulder of the scout and uttering a friendly greeting. 
 The scout starts to tremble but will not buckle easily. He retorts by asking them how he can be of assistance on this fine day. 
 They inquire about the state of the servers, if an additional cluster could be set up within let's say... 2 days? 
 The scout stands aghast, the server room is filled to the brim, they'd have to get an additional room. 2 days would be an impossible task. 
 Another one of the suited gentleman steps up, It's Kyle. He's a known meat-eater and project-manager. 
 He asks how many more resources the scout would need to make it happen in a day. 
 In his state of panic the scout replies with the most sarcasm heavy line we've heard yet. However, it is taken at face value. He's now stuck with an impossible deadline.'' 
 
 
 
 
 

