[ EU ] The cast of Firefly is hired by Darth Vader to hunt down the Millennium Falcon .

*I'm too busy at work for this. But I can't* not *respond. If this gets popular, I do rightly figure I'll have to make time to stretch it out a spell. We'll start in media res, yes? * 
 
 
 `` I reckon there ai n't no way we can catch them. ``, Mal said, rubbing his chin in consideration. 
 
 
 `` When they're going sub-light? Sure. As long as Kaylee keeps the engine running, we can outmaneuver *any* Corellean cruiser. They're fast, but they handle like *go shi*.', Wash answered, confidently. `` If we can bale'em up in a meteor shower, it'll be real fine.'' 
 
 
 Kaylee eagerly nodded her agreement. `` Outside of hyperspace, the Serenity ai n't got no problems keeping up, and it ai n't no TIE fighter, either; the Falcon's guns wo n't put no holes in what they ca n't hit.'' She then winced a little, as if an unpleasantness had invaded into her thoughts. `` O'course, iffin' he *does* get his hyperdrive workin', which ai n't no assurance, then he's gone, gone.'' 
 
 
 Mal glanced at Zoe, who shook her head. `` I do n't like it. It's a bigger ship, and *faster*. The Millenium Falcon's not just a Corellean cruiser - no offense, sweetie - and it's *armed*. How do y'all propose we bring it down - ask real nice t'wards the end?'' 
 
 
 Jayne shook his head. `` Ai n't no cause for us to chase'em down. It's not like he do n't land the thing to eat.'' 
 
 
 Mal nodded, indicating he had a fondess for Jayne's line of thought, but said, `` That's a truth, but he does have that walkin' carpet-y thing. That might be a cause for consternation.'' 
 
 
 Jayne shrugged. `` Only if it's aware. Assumin' you do n't have a problem takin' it out by the knees, we should be able to bring the Solo feller in alive.'' He nodded, considering, then rubbed at his own shoulders. `` Still, I do have a fondess for my arms. We could take'em while they was apart. Would make the work easier.'' 
 
 
 `` If that were ever so. ``, Mal said, leaning on the doorframe. `` I do n't see the two of'em parting very often, bein' partners.'' 
 
 
 `` So maybe we part them. ``, said Zoe. She fixed her eyes on the Captain, and continued, `` If only we knew *someone* with a cleverness, a fondess for rakishly handsome captains, and a willingness to distract men.'' 
 
 
 Wash interrupted the awkward moment of eye contact that came after, gesturing broadly toward his wife standing behind him. `` But, Honey, if you're distracting the Wookie, who... OW OW OW'', Wash trailed off, as Zoe seized, and bent back, his finger. 
 
 
 Mal nodded. `` Still, there's a truth in that.''. He tossed his head, slightly, to adjust his hair, and give the air of arrogance. `` Still, I find myself pondering if she's going to be able to get over his right *terrible* fashion sense...'' 
 
 *Edit to add: * 
 
 * [ Part II ] ( http: //www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1smqey/eu_the_cast_of_firefly_is_hired_by_darth_vader_to/cdzbeyy ), featuring Inara and Mal... * 
 
 *... and [ Part III ] ( http: //www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1smqey/eu_the_cast_of_firefly_is_hired_by_darth_vader_to/ce01dd0 ), with our `` B Plot''. * 
 
 *... and [ Part IV ] ( http: //www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1smqey/eu_the_cast_of_firefly_is_hired_by_darth_vader_to/ce09cpf ), which is not, in this case, A New Hope. * 
 
 *... and [ Part V ] ( http: //www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1smqey/eu_the_cast_of_firefly_is_hired_by_darth_vader_to/ce2mcgb ), with thanks to /u/jp_in_nj for his suggestion... * 
 
 *... and [ Part VI ] ( https: //www.reddit.com/r/bestofWritingPrompts/comments/625uvg/uthatguy_there_writes_a_5_part_fireflystar_wars/dfkmnku/ ), with thanks to /u/7th_Cuil for reminding me of this... * 
 
 *... and [ Part VII ] ( https: //www.reddit.com/r/bestofWritingPrompts/comments/625uvg/uthatguy_there_writes_a_5_part_fireflystar_wars/dflql9c/ ) *...
