[ WP ] Death comes to you when you are on your deathbed and you discover he 's actually a very nice Canadian guy .

`` Oh, eck, yeah eh? You're dead doncha know?'' 
 
 I sat up in my hospital bed, regarding the young man with speculation. 
 
 `` Oh really?'' I asked, `` And when did this happen?'' 
 
 `` Just a bit past noon, eh? You kicked it right after your renal system went all hosebag on you.'' 
 
 I remember I was in the hospital being treated for toxic shock, I remember something about the renal system being the last thing to fail befor a person dies. It's actually one of the most common ways to die, just not for someone my age. I regarded this young man standing in my hospital room and thought a homeless person wandered in. The hospital had more than it's fair share. Scruffy looking, unshaven, wearing a toque and tattered winter jacket. He had a beer bottle in his right hand. 
 
 `` Who the hell are you supposed to be? Death?'' I asked. 
 
 `` Yeppers,'' said the young man. 
 
 `` Why does death look like he comes from Peterborough?'' I asked. 
 
 `` Oh eck, where else would death come from?'' asked the young man. 
 
 `` Alright, you have a point. Okay, so you're death,'' I said. 
 
 `` Pleased to metcha! Would you like a beer?'' 
 
 He extended me a beer. Usually I do n't drink Molson Canadian, but I had been shacked up in a hospital for the better part of a week, so I was n't going to turn down a free beer. It actually tasted much better than I expected. 
 
 `` That's not bad,'' I said as I tried to hand back the beer. 
 
 Death waved the beer and told me to keep it. He pulled another one out from under his jacket and cracked it open. 
 
 `` Oh hey, I got some good news for yah. Where you're headed they got all the beer and Buffalo wings you can eat. Occasionally I sneak some out for myself,'' said death. 
 
 Looking around as though he did n't want to be caught he pulled one of the crispiest looking Buffalo wings I had ever seen out of his jacket and started gnawing on it. As tasty as it looked, it was a bit early in the morning for hot wings. 
 
 `` How about some timmy horts?'' I asked. 
 
 `` Oh eck, yeah eh? They gots the best bear claws you're ever seen.'' 
 
 `` Bear claws?'' 
 
 `` And double dutchies with apple fritters!'' 
 
 A leaped out of bed and asked, `` What the hell are we hanging around here for?'' 
 
 I followed this strange young man to what I thought was probably a buffet table in hospital. I was n't wrong, it was a buffet table, just the best in the universe. 

