[ WP ] Faking Your Demise ( replies must be 1,000 words or more )

**Got a little carried away with this one... cheers to anyone that wants to soldier through it.: ) ** 
 
 I was told that Douglas Barry moved to town in late September. I had the pleasure of meeting the eccentric, cheerful, unassuming man briefly on my trip to the Grand Canyon. Plenty of folks pass through Flagstaff, just like my girlfriend and I were doing, but the local community is n't all that large and many of the people seem to know each other relatively well. Certainly everyone knew Doug, or at least knew about him and his peculiar situation. Doug, a self described `` internet entrepreneur'' had gotten rich and retired young, deciding to move to Flagstaff upon hearing of his long lost twin brother's tragic demise. He told everyone that he did n't have any other family, and at least this way he could feel a connection with his brother, even though he could never really know him. 
 
 It was a cool April afternoon when Sarah and I stopped in at the brewpub off the famed Route 66. After a long morning drive we decided we'd hold up there for the night and enjoy the town before heading out to set up camp at the canyon the following day. One of the first things I noticed upon entering was the ping pong table. But I had n't noticed the odd gentleman leafing through a large manuscript seated in the corner. We took a seat at the bar and studied the hand written chalkboard menu of available beers. The bartender glanced in our direction, wrapped up his conversation and headed to our end of the bar. `` Good afternoon! What can I get ya?'' I squinted to read his name tag. 
 
 `` Hey there Sam. Just checking out your menu here, not really sure just yet.'' 
 
 `` Well, what's your usual drink?'' 
 
 `` I like to try all sorts of things, but I typically lean towards the darker beers.'' 
 
 `` I think the Sasquatch Porter is the beer for you friend.'' 
 
 `` Sounds good. I'll have that,'' I said. I glanced at Sarah, obliviously texting away. I gave her a nudge. She looked at me, then at the bartender, slightly embarrassed. 
 
 `` Oh, um, I'll have a Gin and Tonic please.'' 
 
 `` Coming right up,'' Sam said. I watched as Sarah immediately returned to her phone. 
 
 `` Writing your dissertation over there?'' She looked up again, a slight frown betraying her perpetual cheerfulness. 
 
 `` It's your mom. She keeps texting me.'' 
 
 `` Dammit! What's with that crazy bitch? I ignore her unceasing bullshit so she thinks she can guilt me into talking to her by harassing my girlfriend?'' Sam placed our drinks on top of the cocktail napkins, smiled, and walked off to tend to another customer. `` You should have never given her your number.'' 
 
 `` What was I suppose to do? Tell her I did n't have one?'' 
 
 `` No. I know. It's just...'' I grabbed my beer and took a couple good sized sips. `` The woman drove my father out when I was barely a teenager. Kicked me out three years later. And now, suddenly, she just wants to talk to me every god damn day. And to top it all off, I ca n't understand half the incoherent bullshit she's spewing when she's hammered, which is pretty much always.'' I downed the rest of my beer and returned it a little too forcefully to the bar. Sam glanced over, no longer smiling. I sheepishly raised a finger in the air. Sam walked over and grabbed my glass, placing it under the tap and pouring it until the foam overflowed long enough to form a quarter inch head. He wiped it with a rag and set it in front of me. I thanked him again. 
 
 `` So, let's talk about something else,'' Sarah said. `` We've got several beautiful days of sunshine and hiking and breathtaking scenery ahead of us. And you've got a beautiful, intelligent, adventurous woman to accompany you.'' She batted her eyes with cartoonish enthusiasm and smiled. 
 
 `` Yeah? I did n't know you were inviting a friend along. When's she showing up?'' She caught me with a shot to the arm, probably a little harder than intended now that she was tipsy. It actually hurt a little, but I feigned agony. `` Do you see how she treats me Sam? I'm a battered boyfriend. It goes both ways you know.'' Sam's smile returned. 
 
 `` I think you mighta had that one comin' buddy.'' I turned on my stool and glanced back at the ping pong table. 
 
 `` That thing get used much?'' 
 
 `` Not so much during the day, but there's usually some pretty fierce competition amongst the locals at night,'' Sam said. 
 
 `` Not to brag, but I got a pretty good game. I was sort of the unofficial ping pong champion in high school.'' Sarah drew in and exhaled a few quick exaggerated breaths and fanned her face. 
 
 `` You have... no idea... how hot that makes me,'' she said, her voice breathy and seductive. 
 
 `` Make fun all you want, but once you actually witness the skills, you'll be singing a whole different tune. The ladies just ca n't resist.'' 
 
 `` Doug might be up for a game,'' Sam said. His head made a gesture towards the corner while his hands polished a glass. `` He likes to play from time to time. He's quite a... character.'' 
 
 `` Hey, half the fun of traveling is meeting the local oddballs. We usually fulfill that role back home so it's nice to switch roles once in a while.'' 
 
 `` Well, buddy, this may be the highlight of your trip,'' Sam said. I studied Sam's face for clues as to what his comment might entail. 
 
 `` Alright then,'' I said. `` Let's see what this guy's got.'' I slid off the stool and walked over to the man in the corner. I knocked lightly on his table. He looked up scanning my face, trying to decide if he knew me from somewhere. `` Hey there. Sam tells me you're a player?'' I motioned towards the table. 
 
 `` Yes sir, I dabble.'' He smiled and set his manuscript down, then removing his reading glasses and placing them on top, stood up. 
 
 `` Name's Jack,'' I said, extending my hand. He reached up and grasped it firmly. 
 
 `` Douglas Barry.'' 
 
 I'd like to say that I held my own in that game, but it was a landslide victory. I think the only two points I scored were intentional on Doug's part for the sake of keeping the game going. `` Welp, that's game,'' I said. `` How'bout a victory beer?'' 
 
 `` I'll take you up on that, sir. I like everything here. Whatever you're having is fine.'' I walked to the bar, head hung in shame. 
 
 `` Wow. That sure was somethin'. Mr. ping pong master, my hero! Please whisk me away in your big strong arms!'' 
 
 `` Funny stuff,'' I said. `` You ever consider being a comedic actress?'' She stuck her tongue out. `` Two please, Sam. And another for the lady actively trying to smother my dreams.'' 
 
 `` Are those paddles heavy? Can I squeeze your big strong muscles?'' 
 
 `` Shut up, Sarah.'' I leaned in for a quick kiss. `` Come on, this guy wants to meet you.'' We grabbed our drinks and headed over to where he was seated. I set the beers down and then demonstrated my chivalrous nature by pulling out a chair and offering it to Sarah. She curtsied and took the seat. I sat down next to her. `` Doug, this is my wonderful, adoring... eye rolling, girlfriend Sarah. Sarah, this is Doug, the man who has run down my ping pong honor and left it for dead in a ditch.'' 
 
 `` One of my better games,'' Doug said. `` So you folks travelers? Come to see our big beautiful hole in the ground I presume'' 
 
 `` Yes sir, all the way from New Orleans,'' Sarah said. 
 
 `` Ah, I see. I'm originally from the South myself. Georgia actually.'' 
 
 `` So how'd you end up here?'' I watched as he ran his index finger along the circumference of his glass before taking a sip. 
 
 `` Well, it's a long story but I retired then moved out here. My brother and I were twins, adopted by separate families. He died, tragically, some time ago. I never actually knew him, but I decided to move here to get a sense of how he lived.'' 
 
 `` Oh yeah? You look pretty young to be retired. What line of work were you in?'' 
 
 `` I sold a few internet companies. I do n't really care to talk business, frankly. It bores me.'' He made another motion around his glass before raising it to his lips. 
 
 `` Yeah, I understand. So... you doing some proofreading here?'' 
 
 `` Ah yes.'' He rifled through a few pages of the tome. `` A favor for my friend Stephen. I'm making a few notes. It's actually quite cumbersome.'' 
 
 `` Oh, has your friend written anything I might have read?'' 
 
 `` Oh sure. He's actually quite popular. Stephen King? He's had a number of best sellers throughout the years.'' 
 
 `` Oh... kay. Yeah. I think I know the guy.'' 
 
 `` I do n't care much for his writing, honestly, but friends and favors, you know?'' 
 
 `` Yeah. Definitely.'' I glanced at Sarah. Her eyes were checking mine to see if her confusion was shared. It was. `` So... anyway. You happy with the change of scenery? You miss Georgia much?'' Doug stared somewhere behind us as he made several rotations around his glass. He emptied it and looked back at us. `` You know, sometimes all you need in life is a new start.'' He stood up and smoothed out his shirt. `` Well it was lovely meeting you folks, but if you'll excuse me I need to tend to some things at home.'' With that he was gone. 
 
 We left shortly after and explored the town a bit before settling on sushi for dinner. A full belly and plenty of sake later and we were ready to head back out into the night. We decided that we'd go back to the brewpub because we enjoyed the atmosphere there. When we arrived we found only one stool at the bar to be unoccupied. Sarah took it and I squeezed in next to her. The shift had changed and a young pretty brunette girl was flying up and down the bar, but she was n't panicky or frantic, she moved with a swift grace. `` Hey there, whatcha drinkin'?'' 
 
 `` We were here earlier and Mr. Sam treated us so well we thought we'd come back. He recommended the uh... bigfoot...'' 
 
 `` Sasquatch Porter.'' 
 
 `` That's the one. And a gin and tonic please.'' She returned quickly with our beverages and a opened a tab. 
 
 `` Sam's over there if you wan na say hi,'' she said. We made our way to the other part of the bar and found Sam seated at a table with a young couple.
