[ CC ] [ PI ]

> We shared laughs and loved, I loved 
 > You thought you did, and any tears were 
 > Puddles for jumping, made from joy. 
 
 I think that I enjoyed those three lines the most out of the poem. There is a lot packed into the short three statements. Additionally, its a really good setup from the start of the narrative to the middle of the narrative. 
 
 > and any tears were 
 > Puddles for jumping, made from joy. 
 
 That sets up really well not only one time frame, a kind of childhood innocence, playfulness, and joy with the image of kids jumping over or into puddles as well as planting an insidious seed in the mind of the reader that there will be tears later on and they will not be playful and filled with joy. 
 
 > We shared laughs and loved, I loved 
 
 This line is great because to me it implies a dip into the psyche of the narrator. I imagine someone telling a story with a smile on their face `` we shared laughs and loved'' and then a pause as the smile slowly fades, a head turn downward and in a lower tone, `` I loved.'' Like the narrator is not just telling something, but reliving it themselves. 
 
 
 
 There are a very few moments where I appreciated the vocabulary 
 > The torrent began in monsoon season 
 
 But I'd say that overall it feels often that you're using the easiest words and phrases available. To be fair, that may be the better path, I'm not sure, but I'd suggest taking a quick look and seeing what words you could use to convey the same tone. obviously, some words are used consciously for repetitions sake `` Lakes, puddles'' 
 
 Some examples: 
 > You were always so kind to me, 
 
 to `` Kindness was ever your gift to me'' 
 
 > Telling secrets that were n't yours to tell, 
 > Or sharing stories about your life that 
 > You crafted years ago. 
 
 Dragging secrets to light that were n't yours to expose. 
 Or sharing adventures from your world 
 You crafted in a time before. 
 
 
 
 I'm not saying that my examples are the best but it's just a showcase of some word choice that could add to a story. There is a difference in quality and feeling between `` Telling secrets'' and `` Dragging secrets to light'' 

