[ WP ] Jurassic Pork , a subpar sci-fi novel

Farmer Joe was startled awake from his nap as water washed up onto the boat and slapped his face. He glanced around. Far out in front of him, an island loomed through the mist. Even at this distance, he could see the massive glass dome constructed to encase the entire top. Also in front of him but slightly to the left and much closer was his wife Betty, throwing up over the side of the boat. She was, he noted, an island unto herself and much easier to see in her bright pink dress and flowery bonnet. 
 
 `` Do n't worry Betty,'' he said wearily. `` Almost there.'' 
 
 `` Thank Je-'' Betty was saved from mortal sin by another round of retching. 
 
 Randy and Ginnie, their two children, peeked up from below decks as he spoke. They decidedly took after their mother and took a few minutes to flop out onto the deck. At least they were n't throwing up, Joe thought. He himself had been a skinny bastard since the day he was born. Could n't seem to help it. Did n't matter how much he ate. 
 
 `` Are we there yet?'' droned Randy through gasps of air. 
 
 Kill me now, thought Farmer Joe. `` Yea son, almost there.'' 
 
 Another thirty minutes had them docked at the island and greeted by and elderly man in a white suit and straw hat. He kinda looks like Colonel Sanders, Betty thought to herself. 
 
 The man smiled and greeted them. `` At last! You've made it! We've been waiting eagerly for your arrival he said.'' He approached them with his hand extended. 
 
 Farmer Joe reached out to take it, but the man breezed by him and shook Betty's hand vigorously. At least he tried to shake it but found that moving a mountain was not as easy as a motivational speaker might make it seem. 
 
 `` Oh,'' said the man. `` I see you've brought your husband. I'm sure he'll be... of some help,'' he finished lamely. 
 
 While initially surprised, Betty took the situation in stride. She thought him a fine gentleman. `` Well, I'll do whatever I can,'' she replied through flopping jowls. `` But what do you want from us? And what do we call you, Mr...?'' 
 
 He laughed merrily. `` Doctor,'' he corrected her. `` The appropriately named Doctor John Hammond. As for what we want from you, let me show you.'' 
 
 He led them lumbering down the dock and to an elevator that was gouged into the cliff face that made up the side of the island. Making a quip about keeping all body types in mind, he led them into the very large elevator and up they went. Farmer Joe felt his ears pop. 
 
 The doors opened and they found themselves in the massive glass dome. The air here was hot and wet. Around them, the grass had been allowed to grow rampantly. Farmer Joe had never before thought about grass growing rampantly, but here, it was huge. The climate evidently allowed for it to grow much larger than its temperate counterpart. 
 
 Then in unison, the family gasped. Wandering by them was a family of pigs. But not just any pigs. Even the smallest must have been in excess of two thousands pounds, guessed Farmer Joe. 
 
 Doctor Hammond let the silence stretch on dramatically before turning them. `` Welcome,'' he said `` to Jurassic Pork!''
