[ WP ] Reddit finally secured funding to build a vast metropolis in its likeness . It is broken up into boroughs and cities , which represent subreddits . Every aspect of this mega city has been designed specifically to cater to and sustain millions of redditors . Describe your experiences here .

UPDATE 2 AND WILL CONTINUE IF ANYBODY CARES. 
 
 **Sipping a beer at the counter while talking with my best friend. ** 
 
 Me:'' I am never visiting this town again, I swear. Scarred for life, bro, scarred for life.'' 
 
 Friend: Why? What happened there? 
 
 ME: Well, this is the story... 
 
 Morning. 2 P.M. I'm still lying in my bed, half asleep. As I turn around I get almost blind by the sunlight from the window. `` Fuck, why do I always forget to close my curtains.'' I realize it is already a time normal people are wide awake and have been working for hours now. Hey, do n't blame me, I'm jobless, why should I care? Anyway, I'm rolling around like a half dead fish trying to get up but am too tired from all the sleeping. I barely open my eyes and look at my phone. Notification light is turned on. Huh, I guess somebody cares about me. I grab the phone and see 1 unseen e-mail. I open it. `` What is this?'' With still a blurry sight I read the header: `` Congratulations, you are a winner!''. 
 `` Ah, fuck that, another shitty fake ad. Spam filter, you had one job! One job!''. 
 I put the phone down and decide to rest from the unnecesary physical activity. 
 An hour later and I feel my stomach starts aching. Fuck, I have n't eaten anything. I finally get up and look at the watch. `` Holy shit, 3 P.M. really?!!'' 
 I keep muttering how I've lost half a day that could be used doing unproductive shit. 
 After I leave bathroom and head to the kitchen a phone rings. `` What?'' 
 I raise my hand up and look at the caller id. Yes, it's basicly glued to my hand the whole day, I bring it anywhere, even in the shower. God bless people who invented water proof phones, they saved my life. Literally. 
 Anyway, I do n't recognize the caller but I answer anyway. 
 
 Me: `` Hello?'' 
 
 Caller: `` Herro, is this a mista Barr? `` 
 
 Me: `` Who is this?'' 
 
 Caller: `` This is mista Chan from Reddit headquaaatas.'' 
 
 Me: ``... What do you need?'' 
 
 Caller: `` Congratureizon mista... 
 
 Me: `` For what?'' 
 
 Caller: `` You win da main prize! Three days in a city of Reddit!'' 
 
 Me: `` What.'' 
 
 Caller: `` Uhh maybe you do not remember good, but you entered the competition organized by Reddit inc. and your ticket was serected for a winning trip!'' 
 
 Me: `` Huh, would you look at that... I do n't remember jack shit but I guess I was a part of it, I often participate wherever I can get something... Free shit is a good shit, right?'' 
 
 Caller: `` Right. Your boat will wait for you today at the closest dock at 5 o'clock.'' 
 
 Me: `` Today?!!'' 
 
 Caller: `` We are eagerry awaiting you mista Barr!'' 
 
 Call ended. 
 
 I just stay there without moving for a minute. Then I look at the time. 
 `` 3:56 holy fu*k. I NEED TO GET READY!'' 
 After taking everything I'll need for the next three days and nearly killing myself during the process I manage to get to the boat in time. It was stationed practicly in the middle of nowhere and that is kind of weird, but whatever. THE TRIP IS FREE. 
 
 After about an hour of sailing we get to the small island. It looks glorious. I get nearly blind again from the number or lights on the streets. That is how glorious it looks. 
 I get out and in front of me there are the main giant doors of the city. Two fine gentlemen with fedoras, dressed full in black with katanas in their hands stand on the both sides of the gates. 
 They let me in. On the other side some shady guy stops me. 
 
 Guy: Do you brought some memes with you bro? 
 
 Me: `` What the fuck are you talking about?'' 
 
 Guy: `` That is a bad start of your stay here.'' 
 
 Man, I think I can already see this is going to be very interesting trip.'' 
 
 
 I am soon greeted by a guy who represents himself as mr.Chan. 
 
 Me: Oh, you must be mister Chan from the phone call, right? 
 
 Chan: Right mista. Come, ret me show you around. 
 
 We are walking trough the main street. Boy it's long and wide, almost like yo momma. 
 Anyway, at the end of the street there is a large main square. They call it a `` Front square''. There are a lot of people here, everybody is laughing and dancing, there are news reporters everywhere, I can see crowd surrounding some guys... They must be some kind of stars here. 
 We jump into a cab and mr.Chan tells me he'll show me around the city museum but first he'll leave me at some restaurant to eat something. Dude I'm hungry as f. 
 We stop at the huuuge building. I read the sign: `` Food''. Well f me, I think it's a genius name. Straight to the point. Chan grabs my hand and pulls me with himself. I can already see my mouth watering. But, HEY! 
 
 Me: `` Uh, mister, why did we turn around? The entrance is right HERE?!'' 
 
 Chan: `` I'm sorry mista, but our agency paid for your food elsewhere''. 
 
 Me: `` Oh well... It's still free right? So, it's good with me haha!'' 
 
 Chan:'' Right.'' 
 
 We stop at the most shittiest little houss I've ever seen in my life. Man, this place is a wreck. And the smell... Oh Goood, oh GOD please tell me this is a joke! 
 
 Chan:'' do n't worry mista, it is smelly jusr on the outside. Come!'' 
 
 We enter and I the waiter points to my seat. But... 
 
 Me: `` Wha... who's that kid? Why is he sitting at my table?'' 
 
 Waiter: `` We're sorry, all the other tables are full at the moment, be assured you will be just fine and that boy wo n't bother you. 
 
 Me:''... Fiiine...'' 
 
 I sit and greet the kid. 
 
 Kid: `` Mister, can you help me decide what food should I buy for my tomorrows birthday party for myself?'' 
 
 Me:'' Uh... What?'' That was random. `` Uh, I guess an old shoe with a mayo would be a nice meal for you heh.'' 
 
 I try not to chuckle. 
 
 Kid:'' Thank you for your suggestion.'' 
 
 My meal is coming, I can smell it. 
 The waiter opens the pot. 
 
 Me:'' WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I AI N'T GON NA EAT THAT!'' 
 
 Waiter: `` Oh, but this is `` Shittyfoodporn's'' 
 finest meal! 
 
 This is a fucking chicken soup with gummy bears inside. I am in pure shock. 
 
 Waiter: `` We even put a special ingridienf - Mt. Dew!''. 
 
 Word can not find their way out from my mouths. 
 Another waiter comes. 
 
 Kid: `` Oooh this must be for me!'' 
 
 He opens the cover and is greeted with blue scrambled eggs and something ghat looked like microwaved bull's dick. 
 
 Me ( with disgusted look on my face ):''... You... you ai n't gon na eat that... Right?... Right?'' 
 
 Kid: `` Why not? And I'll get a shitton of gold for it!'' 
 
 Me:'' What? Gold?'' 
 
 Kid:'' And look! To be honest, I would say it tastes for 2/10, BUT! I get some rice in my pocket! Nowww watch... Uh huuuh... I put the rice ALL over it and now... Let's see... Munch munch munch... 
 It's 6/10 with rice!'' 
 
 I am trying not to puke. 
 
 I run outside of the shitstaurant and search for a cab. Mr. Chan is already waiting for me. 
 
 Chan: `` How was your runch, sir?'' 
 
 Me: `` Go fuck yourself'': 
 
 Chan: `` Very well then.'' 
 
 Ok, this is the part which I would rather never ever mention again. 
 We arrive at the Reddit's museum of Great Users. 
 There is all kinds of shit inside, and I see some statues of `` Users with the most karma's'', whatever that means. 
 Mr.Chan escorts me to some hotel and I get a decent room this time. Nothing much happens anymore that day. 
 
 
 Day 2: 
 
 
 I wake up and decide to go by myself and search for some interesting places around the city. In front of the hotel there is a large park. I can see a lot of people with their pets there. I look at the street's name on the wall. 
 `` Aww''... I do n't even bother anymore. I move across the street and head to some bench to rest a little and enjoy the view. 
 
 `` Dude, those guys were completely nuts! They all danced together, laughed, smoked some joint and petted their pets. You could hear awwwing from everywhere. I found it creepy as fck and walked away.'' 
 
 Anyway, I continue walking. I see some building on my left called `` Getmotivated''. I enter to see what's going on. It turns out there are just some lame teenagers sitting in circles and passing some potraits and landscapes between themselves, with quotes slapped on them and all that shit. 
 
 Me: `` Hey guys, this is all BULLSHIT. Do you hear me? Stop wasting your time and go do something PRODUCTIVE'' Lol I know, I am the last one who should be saying something like that but whatever. 
 
 Some girl turns her head and looks at me, gets up and yells. 
 
 Girl: `` I AM 14 AND THIS IS DEEP, OK?!!''. 
 
 Fine with me, why do I even care! 
 
 After quite some walking and finding nothing particularly interesting I call a cab and tell the driver to drive me around and show me some interesting places. We are driving for some time and I notice huge fun park through the window and tell him to stop there. 
 I get out and head to the park. It's called `` Funny''. Well let me tell you something. This place was the most unfunniest place I have ever been to. I rage quited the fun ride and walked away. 
 I am just walking, minding my own business when some fat kid jump rights in front of me and whispers to me. 
 
 Fat kid: `` Mister, can you please tell me I'm fat? And please tell it loud so everybody can hear it.'' 
 
 Me: `` Seriously, what's wrong with you kids... Ok. GET OFF MY WAY YOU FATTY FATTY BOY!'' 
 
 Fat kid: `` THAT IS NOT WHAT YOUR MOTHER SAID TO ME LAST NIGHT!'' 
 
 He proceeds to make some lame street sign with his short fat fingers and runs away, followed by some skinny kid with a camera, yelling at him `` That was SO thug bro! We will get tons of karma!'' 
 
 Seriously, what the fuck is up with that `` karma'' here, huh? 
 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- -- 
 Still just a beggining, hell I might post it later as a whole story for some critical feedback. 
 Updates coming soon. 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - 
 This is just starting, but I'll post it now because I wo n't be able to continue writing. I hope somebody will read it and like it. 
 
 EDIT HOLY SHIT 3 UPVOTES. Ok I'll finish the story when I get home. The fun part did n't even come yet. 

