[ WP ] A strange old man knocks on the front door one day , he tells you he is death and he wants to play a game

`` Ah shit'' 
 
 I never open the door. I've only lived in LA for 8 months, and it's not like I know anyone anyways. 
 
 But fuck it, I was waiting on that Amazon Prime delivery of new tube socks and I fucked up. 
 
 Guess we all got ta go sometime. 
 
 He did n't look much like Death, just some old Geezer in a Party City Grim Reaper robe. But man, when he said it, that voice... it definitely came from beyond. 
 
 Guess it pays for death to be able to speak with some authority. 
 
 `` Listen'' he says, `` it's nothing personal. Just got a quota to fill. I'm not even a bad guy really. Just get a bad rap. You know how the media is.'' 
 
 I nod while chewing on a pizza crust. 
 
 Death continued. 
 
 `` You know what, I like you, just an average schmuck. You remind me... of me. How about this, you give me a name, I'll take them instead. Anyone you want! How's it feel to play God?'' 
 
 `` Eh, I have the Sims and I got bored with it after like a month'' I replied. 
 
 `` Plus, dying does n't sound so bad. I fucking hate my job anyways.'' 
 
 Death looked stunned, but then a wry smile crept across his face. 
 
 `` I DO like you. Well, if playing God does n't float your boat you can name no one and I'll take you instead.'' 
 
 I thought it over, while finishing off my pizza crust. 
 
 `` Actually, the girl at the register today, at Pizza Hut. She was a real bitch to me. And she said my name wrong, and when I corrected her she just rolled her eyes.'' 
 
 Death smiled, `` Do n't you want to think this over. Killing a girl for rolling her eyes... that's pretty ruthless.'' 
 
 `` Eh, I've never been one for sympathy.'' I said. 
 
 `` Well...'' waited death, `` her name?'' 
 
 I mulled it over, but could n't be sure. 
 
 `` Uh... damn... was it Tammy? Like... some generic ass last name. Tammy Robertson maybe?'' 
 
 Somewhere in North Dakota Tammy Robertson was walking to her mailbox and dropped dead. 
 
 

