[ WP ] After 20 years of being a demon , you quit and apply as an angel

I was always of the belief that humans are immoral and deserved every awful thing they had coming at them. They did n't care for their own well being, so why should I? Leaving their kid in the car, cheating on their spouse, not picking up their gum wrapper off the street. Hell, they do n't usually need too much encouraging on my part. Maybe a little bit reasoning from me, but the words do n't even completely leave my mouth before they do whatever it is that'll make them that much more closer to resembling scum. 
 
 But then there was this one guy. And let me tell ya, he was a piece of work. I liked him. He was piece of shi... garbage, but he was upfront bout it. Nothing grinds my gears like those preachy a-holes.'Excuse me sir, do have a moment to talk about our lord and savior', give me a break. I mean, ahem, back to the guy. 
 
 He fell in *love*. I was in denial that it was legit at first. I thought to myself,'Nah, not possible. This Romeo two timed his last girlfriend. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Zebras do n't change their stripes, Monday's suck, pizza's delicious'. 
 But he would do anything for this chick. Bear her children, take a bullet for her, be Mister.Juliet. Poor schmuck did n't know what hit him. I kept a eye on him, waiting on baited breath for him to slip up. Never happened. Then he knocked her up. She popped out a girl. He did what he could to be a good father. It was nausea inducing. Kid is bout to turn three. 
 
 Two weeks ago Romeo was hit by a drunk driver. Old colleague of mine convinced some college kid he was a-OK, he's fine, how dare you insinuate he was drunk. And my guy paid the price. He saw me before his soul passed. Would n't go till I promised to watch over his kid. Did n't know that was n't in my job description. Did n't know that I did n't have the tools at my disposal to be an effective guardian. But his window was closing and he would n't leave. So I sweared that I would. And the big man downstairs was n't too happy with me, but what ya gon na do? 
 
 So that's why I quit, sir. If you choose to go with me, I solemnly swear to be an excellent guardian to Louisa Owens. 
 

