[ WP ] A man orders a `` cheese pizza with no crust '' from a local pizza delivery joint as a joke . Unbeknownst to him , that pizza joint is a drug front and he just placed an order for a kilo of cocaine .

`` I'm bored'', I thought while rummaging through a catalog of completely uninteresting channels on daytime TV. 
 
 Maury sucks, Jerry Springer definitely sucks, Judge Joe Brown can kiss my ass, and do n't even get me started on Family Feud. `` Seriously, how many episodes of Steve Harvey looking dumbfounded at a stupid answer can they make before people get tired of it?'' 
 
 `` They've got ta be on like....episode 2000 or something.'' replied my good friend Toby who obviously heard me thinking aloud. 
 
 `` Yea TV sucks right now. Hey, how about we make our own fun?'' 
 Toby chewed on that suggestion for a second, his freckled face contorting with seemingly every thought, and after a few seconds he broke the silence with, `` Lets make some crank calls!'' 
 
 20 somethings are usually past the point of being a childish nuisance, but we were/are man-children. `` Who should we call?'' I asked warily. My reply was more strain on the face of Toby as he attempted to follow up on his original suggestion. 
 
 `` Fuck it, lets just call Feng's Pizza.'' I interjected, saving Toby from the burden of more thought. 
 `` Feng's Pizza?....Is this a Chinese restaurant too?'' 
 `` No, but they make some pretty good pizza. I usually just get a thin-crust cheese.'' 
 `` Sounds like as good of a suggestion as any'', said Toby. 
 
 And just like that, the wheels were set in motion for a very eventful afternoon. 
 
 After debating who would call and then struggling to grasp a funny enough prank to say, I just decided to wing it and create a joke on the fly. 
 
 I anxiously dialed the number for Feng's, `` What am I nervous for?'' After the first dial tone I accepted the childish thing I committed too, and the anxiety evaporated. 
 
 `` Sank you for carring Feng's, wha can I git fa you today?'' 
 I paused for a split-second, nothing came to mind, then completely out of nowhere I replied `` Can I get a cheese pizza... but no crust please'' 
 `` Cheese wit no crust? ``, our crank calling victim replied, with barely a hint of confusion. Toby laughed in the background, which was the only reason I did n't think the prank was a complete fail. 
 `` Yea, cheese with no crust''. 
 Toby giggled aloud. 
 `` Ok, we have ya address saved in ow system. You have been upgraded to a VERY special customa. Your delivery will be dere in 20 minute.'' 
 
 After hanging up, Toby was ecstatic, me not so much. I was searching for more of a reaction from the Chinese pizza parlor. Maybe I was just being racist, but I thought 1st generation immigrants would be an easier target. `` It's almost like they really do have an option for no crust pizza. Wierd'' 
 `` Well, we'll see soon enough'' replied an especially giddy Toby. `` Hey, did they tell you how much it will cost?'' I was so busy trying to get a laugh out of him earlier that I completely forgot to ask. 
 `` No, but I should have enough cash. I was n't expecting to buy no-crust pizza today but I'm intrigued to see what they bring.'' 
 Toby took a strained look at the ceiling and asked `` I wonder if it'll be just a big lump of cheese?'' 
 
 25 minutes passed and the delivery guy knocked on my door. When I opened it, I saw a short black guy with some Louis Vuitton shades on holding a pizza box too stuffed to close all the way. 
 
'Did you order a cheese pizza with no crust?' he said, breaking the awkward stare we held when I first opened the door. 
 `` Uhhh... yea'' 
 He then walked in. `` Apparently pizza guys invite themselves in nowadays?'' I thought. He only stopped to glance at Toby, whose red face and balled lips gave away his barely suppressed laughter. The delivery guy ultimately paid him no mind, set the box on my cluttered dining table, and opened it. 
 
 Toby had bet it would be just a pile of cheese, I thought it would be a normal pizza with crust cut off. Neither of us expected several plastic wrapped bricks of white powder. 
 
 A pause fell over the room. 
 `` Is that cocaine.'' Toby nervously blurted out. 
 
 A range of emotions starting from perplexed and ending at amused flashed across the'delivery' guy's face. `` Haha, yea... now where is the money?'' 
 
 Not knowing what else to do I panicked and pulled out the crumpled wad of $ 22 from my pocket, and the delivery guy was no longer amused. At this point I thought Toby and I were possibly dead; we might have secretly uncovered a drug trafficking ring at the local pizza parlor. 
 
 `` Is this a joke? Hey man give me the money or I'm out!'' the drug dealing pizza guy demanded. 
 `` S-Sorry it was just a prank! We were bored and we thought it would be funny to ask for a pizza with no crust. How were we supposed to know you would bring Cocaine!'' 
 `` Well technically it was just you and not'we' who called'' 
 `` FUCK YOU Toby!'' 
 
 Just like that the pizza box was shut and the dealer stormed out fuming, when he turned around at the doorway to face me I saw an anxious mix of anger and fear. 
 But his tone was low and calm when he said, `` You call Feng's again, only order pizza. Because if you order'this' again or we find out you told anyone what you saw today, you're going to have some problems. Ok?'' 
 
 Toby and I nodded our head in eager agreement, anything to prevent us from getting shot. 
 
 Once the dealer left, silence invaded my home and did n't leave until Toby in his red, sweaty faced aftershock turned to me and said... 
 `` Let's just keep watching TV. You know I heard there might be some new episodes of Family Feud on.'' 
 
 At that moment I realized sometimes its safer to be bored. 

