[ TT ] Your toilet is clogged , you need to go to the hardware store , and there is a zombie apocalypse outside .

`` Whelp, here goes nothing'' 
 
 Almost immediately after opening his front door Jack realises the destruction already caused by the zombie outbreak. Luckily, none are to be seen down the road. 
 
 Jack makes his way down the street, mesmerized by the still, chaos around him. Passing little Suzie's house, the little girl who always waved to him as he went off to work in the mornings. Poor girl. Sorry for what her mother had to do. 
 
 Just few blocks away from the hardware store. Surprised to not run into any zombies, Jack cautiously makes his way toward the front of store. 
 
 `` Where are all the undead assholes at?'' Jack wondered to himself. 
 
 Finally jack made it to the broken front doors of the store, salvaging a hefty crowbar from one the deserted cars in the parking lot for some protection. Now he can hear them. 
 
 There are at least three different growls and grunts coming from just inside the store. From his years of experience playing zombie games, he knew there are a whole lot more than just the three. 
 
 Jack decided to ditch the crowbar so he can move a bit faster and have it easier if he decides to hide for a little. Without making a sound he makes his way to the plumbing aisle for that blasted plumber. And then it happened. 
 
 It struck two o'clock and, because the store was a weird little place, started to play a little jingle. Only thing is, the jingle would play a total of four times before stopping. Jack hated the jingle. Hated it with his whole being knowing he was the one who created it but never got the credit or the money to go along with it. 
 
 Not only that, but the zombies started to get louder. 
 
 `` Guess they do n't like it either'' 
 
 Jack hurries to the end of the aisle and just his luck, no plumbers left. Infuriated, Jack let out a little yell before he realised he opened his mouth. All the growls and the grunt in the suddenly stop. Dead silence. 
 
 `` Fuck'' 
 
 Without hesitation Jack books it for the back doors but slips on what was left of Gary and slides into the wall. He can see the first one. It let's out a wailing screech, Jack had to cover his ears just to endure the pain. Footsteps came from everywhere. He was going to be surrounded. 
 
 Jack found a lift and decided to take it as high as it would go. It almost made it to the ceiling. He was going to have to make a leap of faith for one of the low hanging rods holding the lights. Hopefully it could hold his weight. 
 
 It held.... for maybe 10 seconds. 
 
 On his way down Jack thought to himself, `` This is it, this is how I die. Trying to get a plunger to unclog my toilet only to plunge to my own death.'' As he was a few feet off the ground the wires from the light caught another rod on the ceiling making the light swing and Jack quickly reacted by using the velocity of the swing to throw himself towards the front doors and jumped off. Rolling to a stop, the zombies were on his heels and he finally made through the barricade of the doors. The zombies were still trapped inside. 
 
 Jack decided to just go back home. On his way back he could still hear the screams of the zombies, calling more to their aid. Jack even ran into a few down the road, but he took care of them using what useful debris he could find in the street. 
 
 Finally home, toilet still clogged. Jack just decided to do it a man's way. He rolled up his sleeves, plugged his nose, and literally punched the shit out of the toilet. After such a ruff few hours, jack was happy to just be home still alive. Later that night he decided to eat a Mexican buffet in celebration for another day surviving attacks. 
 
 Jack also found out that night that Mexican food goes right through him. He plops right onto his porcelain throne and right as he he goes to wipe, he realises he was out of toilet paper. The only place in walking distance that had some, even if just shitty 1 ply, was the same hardware store he almost died in earlier that day. 
 
 `` FUCK EVERYTHING!''
