[ WP ] Advertise the world 's worst theme park .

And now a word from our sponsor. 
 
 Tired of having your kids nag and whine every summer? Do their demands for ice cream and video games wear your to the bone? Ever wish a group of faceless, hooded figures would come along and drag them off to a unknown dimension full of other children they've captured? Did you say yes? Did you? Even if you did n't, take your little meatlings down to ( static comes over the radio ) Park! 
 
 At ( static ) Park, you'll find all of the fun games and rides that all children enjoy! We've got roller coasters, Tilt-a-Whirls and puppet shows with 50 percent less blood. 
 The Endless Corridor seems to be a hit with all of our older visitors and we've opened a petting zoo! That's right, all of the cute little goats, geese, Shoggoth's and other slimy primordial horrors from other dimensions are here, for a limited time only! 
 
 So bring your kids! Just follow that dull, aching drone in the base of your neck that all humans have heard from the beginning of time, but only now have begun to investigate. The Park is outside of your hometown, wherever that may be. Go there and experience some merriment in your tiny, insignificant lives before they pass into the void of time and space. Kids and adults get in half price on the weekends! 
 

