[ WP ] In the near future , mankind explores the stars in search of life . Life indeed exists beyond Earth , but you , a researcher on a science ship , discover that all of the spacefaring alien civilizations died out . Curiously , their deaths seem directly linked to humanity reaching outer space .

The first thing we heard was a song. It was n't something new. It was something we'd all heard far too many times: the outro to `` Hey Jude''. It was n't the whole song. Someone out there had sampled it, made it a loop - just two bars of `` Naaaa na na nana na naa'' over and over and over and over. It burrowed into our systems and nested there. There was nothing we could do to stop it playing. The speakers refused to be muted or turned down. There was only the freezers behind the kitchens that could be used to escape from it. Everywhere else, no matter how many jumpers you tried to muffle them under, the speakers repeated it. So we took turns huddling together with the food rations until we could n't feel our fingers. 
 
 We traced it to its source: an earthlike world that was close in galactic terms. There were cities covering almost every inch of the land there. They would have been magnificent, all glass spires and cascading plants. Now the glass was broken and the plants were reduced to bare twigs. There were bodies everywhere, all different species, all unknown, and all dressed for a party. The city was punctuated with mile wide patches of scorched ground that stretched to the horizon. 
 
 We searched amongst those ruins for a month before returning to orbit. We found no survivors. We found know clues to what had caused the massacre, or the source of the signal. Just more scorched earth and more bodies. At least we were away from that recording for a while. When we climbed above the clouds again the regular patterns of burning started making sense. They were letters, roman letters spelling out the Queen's English: `` Party's Over.'' 
 
 In the crater of the full stop there was a crashed ship. Pinned under one of the ship's windscreen wipers there was a note: 
 
 Dear Asshats, 
 
 Our civilization has been at peace for 4 millennia. You have never, NEVER, been at peace in your entire history as a species. That's not actually your fault. Unlike a lot of the aquatic mammals on your planet you lack the part of your brain that would give you the emotional understanding required for things like empathy. You're quite anomalous in that respect. I mean, you even had a philosophical study into how to prove that other minds than your own exist. Ca n't you just ask someone if they exist? Forget it. Dumb question. 
 
 We were so sure you were going to wipe yourselves out before you could get into space. So sure. A lot of people won some hefty bets the day you did. It was a bittersweet moment though. We knew it meant the end of our peace, and we could n't bear the thought of fighting anyone. Not once we had come so far. Instead, we had the biggest party the universe had ever seen - will ever see - and then we killed ourselves. Enjoy this ball of dirt. Enjoy all the balls of dirt you ignorant, greedy apes. 
 
 Fuck you. 
 

