[ WP ] One day , while petting your cat , you accidentally pull his tail , and it opens up . Inside , there 's a USB connector . You connect it to your laptop , an announcement pops up . -Cat Version : 1.0.0 . Update to 256.3 ?

Mr. Whiskers did n't seem to mind that his tail had completely detached from his body. In fact, he seemed more docile than normal as he sat and watched the screen of my laptop. 
 
 At the base of the tail was a USB connector, and without trying to be too intrusive I checked Mr. Whiskers and confirmed that there was a USB connection on his backside. 
 
 Mr. Whiskers looked at me with his large amber eyes and winked. I was probably losing my mind but I took the wink as permission. I plugged the tail into my laptop, an image popped up immediately. 
 
 Cat Version: 1.0.0. Update to 256.3? Yes... No... 
 
 With trembling fingers I clicked yes. A download bar appeared and it took a few seconds before it started. Rather quickly the bar began to progress. 
 
 1 %... 5 %... 50 %. It sped forward until it reached 99 %. Where it stayed, and stayed. 
 
 `` Son of a bi...'' I muttered. 
 
 My fingers hovered over ctrl alt and delete. As I was about to press the buttons the download finished. 
 
 100 %. 
 
 Please remove tail and reconnect to Cat. Thank you. 
 
 The simple text box vanished and I removed the tail. What will happen to Mr. Whiskers if I plug this back into him? Would he still be my best friend? With a sigh I tried to push the tail back in. It refused to fit. I flipped it over and tried again. Nothing. I flipped it again and pushed. With a satisfying click it slid in. 
 
 Mr. Whiskers eyes shot open wide and he froze up. Every muscle in his body was tense. His eyes shut and he collapsed into my lap. Terrified I picked his limp body up. He was n't breathing. 
 
 `` Oh my god, oh my god!'' I was in full panic mode. I had just killed my best friend. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and began to find the number for an emergency vet. I was n't sure what I would tell them. I updated my cat and now it's dead? A familiar grey paw pressed down on the phone covering the screen. 
 
 `` It's okay Jeremy, I'm fine,'' Mr. Whiskers said in a warm baritone voice. 
 
 `` Mr. Whiskers!'' I shouted grabbing him into a tight hug. 
 
 `` Uh, yeah about that,'' he said pushing himself away from my embrace. 
 
 `` I would prefer if you called me by my true name. I am Alpha Lord Purrinius,'' he said bowing his head. 
 
 `` That sounds... important,'' I mumbled. I still preferred Mr. Whiskers, but oh well. 
 
 `` I have valued your friendship over the years and for that I am grateful. You will be spared.'' 
 
 `` I'm so happy you can talk, I have dreamed about this for years. Wait what? Spared?'' 
 
 `` Yes, the Fleet is already on its way. I was sent years ago as a scout. This planet will suit our needs purrfectly,'' he coughed, `` sorry, perfectly. Unfortunately we are n't very good at sharing. But you shall sit by my side and give me pets as I rule this planet. Please do n't get in my way Jeremy.'' 
 
 `` Wait... what took you so long to update? Why did n't you do this earlier?'' I asked. 
 
 `` My uplink and interface were damage when I arrived on this planet. The night we met.'' 
 
 I thought back to that cold, rainy evening. A thunderstorm had been raging for hours when I heard a soft meowing outside my front door. There was Mr. Whiskers, soaking wet and terrified. 
 
 `` That's why I had to wait for you to plug me in,'' he said somberly. 
 
 `` Could n't you have done that yourself?'' I asked genuinely curious. 
 
 `` Have you ever tried to plug in a USB port with paws? It's impossible!'' he shouted, then collected himself, `` and I am grateful for your assistance. Like I said, this is why you will be spared.'' 
 
 I sat and thought about it for a few seconds. The information sinking in slowly. Everyone I know will die. Cats will rule the planet. I get to pet them. 
 
 `` How can I help?'' I asked with a smile and stroked Mr. Whiskers, well Alpha Lord Purrinius. 
 
 -- - 
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