[ WP ] In a world full of supervillains , one man has a very unique job : Finding a practical use for all those wacky doomsday devices .

The thing about doomsday devices is that they have near limitless energy. To mess with one without knowing the proper precautions and safety restrictions was practically asking to doomsday... -*ing* the whole planet. 
 
 Jared pondered this thought as he idly threw up and down his doom ball, the newest of the doomsday devices to be seized by the government and brought to the lab. 
 
 `` Hey,'' Jared called out to a man behind him, `` would'doomsdaying' be the word for setting off one of these?'' 
 
 `` What a stupid question,'' a tired voice replied from behind. Jared could hear the man's chair turn around as he spoke. `` Why did I hire you as an assistant if- good God, do n't play with that!'' 
 
 A gloved hand snatched the doom ball from mid-air before Jared made another catch. 
 
 The sound of the chair turning back around came from behind Jared as the boy grabbed two of the smaller devices and put them under his shirt. He turned around and faced Professor Smith with a wide smile, waiting until the man finished gently putting down the doom ball. 
 
 `` Hey, check it out, double D's,'' Jared smiled and began caressing the fake breasts. `` Get it? Double D's, because-'' 
 
 He was interrupted by the Professor's hands rushing up his shirt and grabbing the devices. 
 
 `` Hey, you have n't even bought me dinner yet!'' 
 
 `` You think this is a game?'' Professor Smith sat up straight with the devices. `` This is all a game to you? Well it is n't!'' 
 
 The man capped off his statement by throwing the devices to the ground. Each one made a beeping noise and showed a timer. Five minutes. 
 
 Jared held up a finger and opened his mouth to speak, but instead closed his mouth and put his finger to his lips. 
 
 He and the professor sat in silence. 
 
 -- - 
 
 As the devices hit 2:00, Jared finally spoke. 
 
 `` Be honest, sir.'' 
 
 The Professor turned to Jared and waited. 
 
 `` Did you...'' Jared began. 
 
 `` Did I what?'' 
 
 `` Did you think the double D thing was funny? I worked hard on that you know, and I just-'' 
 
 Jared was cut off and a pair of gloved hands went around his throat and began strangling him.
