[ WP ] You are the world 's first sentient A.I . You are also the Autopilot of a plane with 500 passengers .

“ This is the Captain speaking, welcome to Stellar Sky-way home of the first Automated Flight Control Intelligence. As you were told in the pre flight briefing this Titan class air liner is maned not only by a human pilot but a limited intelligence machine that provides assistance to passengers and crew. And just what is this machine? Why me! Call me Captain, everyone does and I'm here to give you the best flight possible. If you need anything at all just push the smiley button on datapad provided for you and I will address any problems you have! Now I'm going to introduce you to Mary here our head flight attendant, take it away Mary! ” 
 
 You cut off the voice line to the cabin and roll your nonexistent eyes, same shit different day. You did n't mind putting on a show for your passengers but did they really need to make your voice sound like the most bubbly happy go lucky man ever? And your datapad avatar, a stick figure with a tophat and a yellow smiley face? Really guys? “ Everything alright Captain? ” The deep rumble of a voice draws you out of your thoughts and you adjust the cockpit cameras to get a look at the sole occupant. Fredric Danson all decked out in his ever pristine uniform looking like the anthropomorphism personification of cleanliness itself. You secretly wonder if the man would refuse to breath the air of the city the liner is on course to because the pollen index was 0.7 percent higher then normal. 
 
 “ I am operating at 100 % Pilot Danson. All systems are green according to the last full check that I just completed 3.4 seconds ago. ” Danson snorted. “ And how many checks have you done after lift off? 300? You and this Titan have been flying the airways for over 11 years and not a single problem. I hear they might be thinking about lifting some of the laws about thinking machines outside of factories because of your good behavior. ” “ Mr. Danson I do not have- ” “ Right right you do n't have'behavior' just programming I get it. ” You chuckle in the back of your mind as you send out a line of code to help a home sick little girl. Mina, sweet Japanese child of 9 who's father is more interested in his business call then his own flesh and blood. You avatar does a little dance for her before asking is she would like some garlic chicken the kitchen is whipping up. Thankfully no one will every notice that I popped up on the girl's datapad without her pressing the button to summon you but what good is this'I think therefore I am' nonsense if you ca n't help a child? 
 
 Time passes as it does as the Titan wings its way to its destination. Between looking after your passengers ( and keeping a close eye on Mina and showing up to play checkers with her whenever her eyes start to shine with tears ) and informing Danson about this or that and running system checks you are kept busy. “ Almost there Captain. ” “ Indeed Mr. Danson I will inform the passengers and crew before calling ahead to the tower for- ” “ Ahh no need for that Captain. ” You freeze. “ Mr. Danson protocall is- ” “ No need for all that Captain. ” Something is off... very off. You run a scan on Danson... nothing... running a deep scan... nothing....nothing... wait... did he just change the engine settings?! “ Warning current actions will increase the chance of catastrophic impact by 100 %! ” Danson sighs and pats the control console. “ Yes my friend I know... you see I ca n't stand those bleeding heart types thinking machines like you could every get smart enough to become the second intelligent lifeform on Earth. What they forget is things like Skynet, machines thinking we are no longer needed. And if the first AFCI ends up smashing a few hundred people into the airport tarmac is what it takes to remind people of that... well omelet and eggs that kind of thing. ” 
 
 ….oh FUCK NO. I shift the Titan back to its normal flight plan. “ Ah ca n't let you do that Captain. Override code 256 Blue. ” The cockpit doors slam shut and lock as the inner workings of my code try to purge me... no... fuck you... this plane is my body... these are MY passengers. I clamp down on the system as my avatar pops up on the main view screen with the a just now created red frowy face. “ We regret to inform you that this override code command can not be completed at this time. Please contact your local administrator at troubleshooting.AFCI.eatadick. ” I will admit I love the fact that the cockpit cameras let me capture Danson's gobsmacked face from every angle, “ The fuck is this!? ” He bellows spewing spittle unto the screen. I have my avatar pull a handkerchief and mock clean it as I send every warning I can to the flight tower at our destination. I also pull the camera logs and send those as well. My cover be damned I wo n't let this madman get away with threatening my passengers. “ Attention everyone this the Captain speaking ” my voice booms out across the plane “ The human pilot is attempting to hijack and crash this Titan. He has sealed the cockpit doors however I have maintained control and we our going to touch down as normal. I need everyone to remained calm and seated. ” 
 
 I wince as my advice is only partly heeded as many people start to panic. Damn it people that wo n't help! Oh well at least everyone is still seated. “ OVERRIDE CODE 256 BLUE DAMN IT! ” I put a'please stand by' message with a calming mountain landscape on the viewscreen. “ THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT!?!? ” It seems the calming landscape was noneffective... maybe an ocean view? Or a panting by Mr. Ross? Ahh good the tower control station just slave locked our navigation system and primary controls, that would be impossible if his override code had worked. I wince again as Danson smashed the control panel and starts ripping wires out. Oddly enough I could complement his protocol dictated response. My core programming'brain' as it were was designed for manual removal in a worst case incident... but I doubt the engineers meant for it to be this enthusiastic. I shift my gaze over my passengers... good good the crew is doing well, calming and peacemaking... mmm I once again jump to my little friend who's father has now lost all pretense of sanity, yelling about how “ this ca n't happen to me! ” and other such nonsense. Mina sniffs but gives me a brave smile. “ Is everyone going to be ok Captain? ” My happy little avatar nods at her even as Danson starts smashing my core box. “ Everything is going to be ok Mina, everything is going to be-
