[ WP ] The 2020 Summer Olympics has a new event . Calvinball .

“ Hello everyone, and welcome to the 2020 Summer Olympics! I ’ m John, and joining me is Katie. How are you Katie? ” 
 
 “ I ’ m doing great John! I ’ m excited to be hosting the very first Calvinball competition! I have to tell you John, I ’ ve loved Calvinball since I was young, and I am so excited that it is now an official sport! ” 
 
 “ So am I! This is a wonderful day! Let ’ s take a look at the playing field. It ’ s a lightly wooded area with a stream going straight down the middle. On the left, there seems to be a giant boulder! Wow, the field designers really out did themselves! Oh, perfect timing! Here come the teams! USA vs Russia! Each team has selected 5 players each for the game, but that won ’ t be stopping anyone! ” 
 
 “ Not at all John! The players are wearing numbered jerseys for our convenien- Oh, nevermind, team USA has just taken off their jerseys. ” 
 
 “ What a turn of events! Now, as the players take their positio- Wait, was that a goal? Yes it was! It seems that team Russia had sneaked bowling balls onto the field and have each scored a goal. So that starts this match 8 to Helicopter. ” 
 
 “ How exciting! But team USA had switched the goals before the game, so that makes the score Pelvis to Q_23. ” 
 
 “ Ah, you would think that, but team Russia had paid a player on team USA to switch the goals again, which makes the score Red to Lion! ” 
 
 “ Well that ’ s a twist! Let ’ s see what ’ s happening on the field. Team USA has brought an axe onto the field, and appears to be cutting down the trees! Good for them, every tree chopped down adds T points to their score. ” 
 
 “ Well, team Russia has joined together and started pushing the giant boulder across the field! Wait... is it... yes! There is a quadruple agent in team Russia! He is pantsing all the other players right now! ” 
 
 “ Amazing! That makes the score Giant to Hip fracture! Meanwhile, it seems team USA has chopped down enough trees to create a wooden... something. I ’ m not quite sure what that is, but it changes the score to Alphabet to 87. ” 
 
 “ Wait, what is he doing? Someone from the crowd has wandered onto the field, and is chanting a weird song. OH GOD! HE SUMMONED CTHULHU! Wait, nevermind, it was just another person from the crowd. ” 
 
 “ Well that ’ s a relief! Anyway, the team ’ s coaches have entered the match, each carrying baskets of tennis balls. Wow, they just scored huge points! Let ’ s see... that makes the score… ” 
 
 “ Yell to Nosebleed. ” 
 
 “ Yes, Yell to Nosebleed! But here come the game changer. Team USA has bribed the entire stadium to score for them. They are swarming the field, I can ’ t see anything! ” 
 
 “ Wait, there ’ s the buzzer! This game is over! The final score is Q to 12! ” 
 
 “ Amazing... absolutely amazing. This has been Katie. ” 
 
 “ And John. ” 
 
 “ Reporting from the very first Calvinball Olympic game. Thank you for tuning in. ” 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - 
 
 Hey everyone, About4001llamas here. I love Calvin and Hobbes, and actually lived in the town Bill Watterson grew up in, Chagrin Falls, Ohio. It ’ s such a great place. If you liked my writing, check out /r/About4001llamas! Happy reading!
