Six months ago it was announced that a meteor would hit the earth and end all life . However it missed the earth after humanity had prepared for the end .

There was much rejoicing today as the meteor known as M199 missed Earth. Scientists speculated that it would hit Earth, destroying all life and bringing about the apocalypse. Many citizens prepared for such an event and have now shifted their blame to the president. 
 
 Tens of thousands had gathered in Atlanta for a prayer circle. Attendees believe that their prayers helped avert M199. Reverend Butch Hollow, who organized the event, has told reporters that he has personally talked to God and begged forgiveness for all humankind. There is much speculation that he will make a bid for President during the next election cycle. 
 
 In Jamaica, many nude spectators watched as M199 missed Earth. The Guiness book of world records is calling it the biggest orgy in human history rivaling that of Sodom and Gomorrah. The organizer of the event, Microsoft CEO and philanthropist Bill Gates is taking credit for the event. He put up 200 million to fly attractive women from all over the world to attend. There is also speculation that he will make a bid for the oval office next November. 
 
 In other news, toilet paper stock has skyrocketed as everyone in the world shit themselves when M199 failed to hit our planet. 
 
 Here's Chip with the weather.
