[ WP ] The United States of America lost a nuclear war to a country the entire world least expected to attack . Describe the first day of the attack : Thanksgiving day , 2014z

*Testimony of Staff Sgt. Anthony Daly, US Air Force* 
 
 NORAD is best known to most Americans for tracking Santa each Christmas, but the agency ’ s regular mission is quite serious: to detect America from aerial threats. It ’ s our first line of defense against a nuclear strike. Since the end of the Cold War, it ’ s been a difficult place to work: boring yet high-stress. So maybe you can understand that on Thanksgiving Day, forced to be stuck at work instead of with our families, some of us were maybe a little slow in reacting to a genuine threat. After all, we ’ ve had false alarms before, and each time our restraint prevented unnecessary nuclear strikes. 
 
 It occurs to me that this probably sounds like an excuse for what happened. It ’ s not. We failed and the entire nation paid the price. 
 
 But come on, we were expecting that nuclear threats would come from North Korea or Iran, or maybe Russia or China if things were really crazy. Who the hell was looking at Bhutan? We didn ’ t notice anything until the missiles hit US airspace, and by that point it was too late to play defense. 
 
 And even if we had time to hit back, what the fuck were we supposed to hit? Did Bhutan even have military targets to shoot at? What I ’ m saying is that we weren ’ t the only ones caught by surprise, OK? 
 
 [ Thumping noise, end of recording ] 
 
 *Testimony of Dr. Marissa St. Clair, CIA Central Asia Bureau* 
 
 Let me start by explaining how we got here. Bhutan does not have a particularly peaceful history, no matter what the Buddhist stereotypes would have you believe. They have a history of ethnic conflicts. Just because they measure success by Gross National Happiness doesn ’ t mean that they ’ re just a bunch of peace-loving monks. 
 
 The trouble started last year when a new government came in. The old government was focused on increasing gross national happiness all around the world. Not anymore. The new government only wanted to increase happiness in Bhutan. 
 
 No, I ’ m not sure how long their nuclear program has been going on. We suspect that it mainly consists of old Soviet nukes that were smuggled into the country. 
 
 Anyway, we didn ’ t really think much of this change at first. The end of Bhutanese promotion global happiness wasn ’ t exactly world-shaking. We didn ’ t connect them to Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 until mid-November. What would a tiny country want with a plane full of Chinese citizens? Sure there were ballistics experts on board, but again, why would Bhutan want ballistics experts? It made no sense. We had no idea what they had planned, and now we can only speculate. 
 
 But here ’ s what I think: Bhutan decided that other countries were the obstacle to full Bhutanese happiness. We were all in the way and we had to go. That ’ s why they nuked everybody else. 
 
 No, I don ’ t have any hard evidence for that. 
 
 Jesus Christ, do you people really think you ’ ll get to the bottom of this? We have three days before the radiation penetrates this bunker, and then we ’ ll all be dead. What ’ s the use – 
 
 [ Thumping noise, end of recording ]
