[ WP ] A stereotypical neckbeard goes back in times to the medieval ages and becomes a 'White Knight ' .

Jonas only remembered a flash of light not what caused it. He awoke in a foreign land with too much of that hairy green stuff like lady earth had n't shaved knowing no one would ever find her attractive. He attempted to roll over for a better chance of standing upright but a rock decided that would n't be the way this would work; Jonas headbutted the rock making his fedora roll a few yards North. `` Fucking troll stones, swear,'' Jonas fumbled his way to standing on two feet. 
 
 The bushes were far larger and thornier than the ones his dumb mother pruned all the time when it was supposed to be lunch. They had berries though, Jonas knelt down and grabbed a berry from the closest one, `` ah a Hibiscus Oregano Berry of course. I've seen these a thousand times, perfectly edible,'' Jonas tossed it into his mouth and swallowed with his teeth so much as touching. 
 
 Surveying the land, Jonas noticed a large castle only fifty yards from him, which would be a half days walk, and a small village just outside of it. He began the mighty trek, grabbing his fedora on the way. 
 
 The passage took him hours in Warcraft time. The grass was dull and every tree was an Oak tree just with different leaf shapes, was n't there any variety in this dream of his? A lone stick, about six feet long and straighter than most of his crushs boyfriends' dicks, was cracked off a tree. Jonas eyed it knowing what damage he could do if he took this time to practice the stances he'd learned from each of the karate studies he spent evenings watching, took it. 
 
 Gasps sprouted from parts of the village as Jonas' blubbery body entered the gates. The first villager he saw was brushing a valiant steed who could no doubt ride Jonas into thousands of formidable battles. `` M'lady,'art though single?'' 
 
 `` Excuse uh me....I... single? My husbands right over there sir, I should n't be seen saying words.'' 
 
 `` Well you're a dumb winch for being married anyway. That ass ai n't fat enough for me, I need that Kate Upton body,'' Jonas said as he respectfully tipped his hat to the woman. Perhaps the castle would provide him with more opportunities, at least some fried food to resupply him after such a long journey. 
 
 There was no fried chicken in the castle much less his Kate Upton look-a-like that would surely understand him and provide that sweet BLS for his underappreciated good looks. No, it was simply some king who obviously kept all of Daddy's money for himself. The crown on his head was crusted with cheap store bought diamonds and gold spray paint from what Jonas could tell. The guards around the castle had ushered him to the court room to meet the man, they kept pulling at his Star Trek shirt as if it was some prized tapestry Jonas had wrapped himself in. 
 
 The king's eyes widened as Jonas' turn to speak came upon them. `` Please, tell me where you've fought such a battle that the lordship you won with felt right to wrap the story around you?'' 
 
 `` Kelvatarr 9, Episode 78. Your king thing, I demand food, a bath, two wenches- blonde of course- and a proper bed. I will tell you all about the future, where I'm from, if you give me those services.'' 
 
 `` I must admit, that is requesting quite alot for a man who just strode into town.'' 
 
 [ End- sorry will continue if there is enough support! ]
