[ WP ] Tug at my heartstrings . Make me cry .

FOR CASEY 
 
 ACT 1 
 
 I did it all for her. I did it because he deserved to die. I did it because it was justice unserved and I did it because it was right. I ’ ve never been surer in my life. There was a clicking in my head, a constant thump—thump—thump as if there was a pint-sized organic clock in my brain, waiting for me to act. It came with the nightmares and left when I killed him. 
 
 For years, I didn ’ t know why I was still alive. I was careful, sure, and I ’ ve never been afraid to do anything. That question seems to go two different ways; surviving means nothing if that is all it means to you. I was sixty-five, and I was living alone in an apartment in the city. My wife ’ s dead, but it ’ s not like that. She died thirty years ago, a year after our divorce, with 6 miserable married years and one son. It wasn ’ t a loss, but it was something that I ’ ve never been able to replace since. 
 
 
 10 YEARS AGO 
 Saul answered the door on the third round of buzzing. Before he gave and stood, he was sitting in his leather recliner, rocking back and forth, squeezing his eyes shut. He wasn ’ t sure why, besides that it felt nice, and odd. 
 
 
 “ Who is this? ” asked Saul. 
 
 
 “ Me Pop. ” He buzzed him in. Saul tried to think of the last time his son visited him, or even the last time they spoke. His son was doing well for himself, living in the upper echelon homes with three daughters of his own, and a wife. He figured the last time they spoke was a year ago; his son delivering the news of his third granddaughter. He doesn ’ t remember her name anymore. He left the door open and his family poured through. Blonde and beautiful and picturesque. What are they doing here? 
 
 “ How are you doing pop?! ” Tony said louder than needed. 
 
 “ GOOD! ” shouted back Saul. He wasn ’ t sure if he meant it as a joke, or a retort. Tony smiled unsurely. In came two little girls in flowery dresses, hiding behind their father ’ s leg. The third little girl came in the hands of Tony ’ s wife. The baby in the bonnet was sleeping. 
 
 
 “ How are you doing, Tony ’ s wife? ” asked Saul. 
 
 
 “ I ’ m good Saul. You want to say hi to your granddaughter? ” 
 
 
 Saul hailed. Tony was busy clearing trash and newspapers off of the coach, and the two little girls stood pressed against the wall with their hands bound behind their backs. 
 
 
 “ Give your Granddad a hug, girls. ” Tony ’ s wife whispered. 
 
 
 Saul was just as reluctant as they were. 
 
 “ How ’ s things Pop? How ’ s work? You taking your medicine? ” 
 
 “ Yes, yes, and yes. ” 
 
 “ Things are yes, eh? ” the girls smiled. 
 
 “ They aren ’ t no. ” 
 
 “ I guess not. ” 
 
 “ What ’ s the occasion? ” 
 
 “ It ’ s mostly just a visit, but we have a surprise for you. ” 
 
 Saul stayed silent in his own variety of anticipation. 
 
 “ What? ” 
 
 Tony took his baby out of Tony ’ s wife ’ s arms. 
 
 “ Honey, why don ’ t you go get her? ” 
 
 “ Already? ” she responded skeptically. 
 
 “ Sure, why not. Take the girls with you. ” 
 
 They left the room. Saul pulled a cigarette from the container on the counter. 
 
 “ You mind, Pop? ” he said, nodding to the infant in his arms. Saul cracked the window. 
 
 “ What ’ s the surprise? ” 
 
 “ We got you a dog. ” Tony said. 
 
 Saul heaved in the cigarette and tossed the rest out the window. 
 
 “ Why? ” Saul moaned. 
 
 “ Because you need some company, Pop. I worry for your health; it ’ s not healthy to be cooped up like this all the time. ” 
 
 “ I don ’ t want it. ” 
 
 “ Just try it out. Do it for me. Do it for yourself. ” 
 
 “ I ’ m not selfish. ” 
 
 “ It ’ s not going to be selfish. It ’ s a pound dog. You ’ re doing Sally the favor. ” 
 
 “ Who ’ s Sally? ” 
 
 “ That ’ s the dog. The girl ’ s named it Sally. It used to be… Casey, I think. You can choose whatever name you ’ d like. ” 
 
 The girls came back, with a small ice white terrier on a pink leash. It entered the room sniffing, and continued to sniff out of sight in the bathroom. Saul tried to pretend to be surprised, but he felt it was too phony and stopped. The little girls chased after it into the other room. 
 
 “ Just a little while. ” pleaded Tony. 
 
 “ Okay. ” 
 
 The family left an hour later, without mentioning the approximate time for the next visit. The dog found a comfortable pile of clothes in the corner of the living room, and huffed itself to sleep. Saul set out of a ceramic bowl with leftover hamburger in it, for Casey. 
 
 9 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO 
 
 At first, I didn ’ t care for Casey. She was just a little dog, who liked the food I gave her and the bed that I eventually bought. Before she came along, I didn ’ t have any responsibilities in the afternoons, after work ended. I ’ d go for long walks through the parks, and anywhere with a breeze in the air. I don ’ t know how long it normally took, but the sun would be gone before I would be back at home. I started to take Casey with me. I see the dog park, and I always felt a bit of exclusion without a mutt of my own. The first time I took her with me was the biggest and best mistake of my life. It changed everything. 
 *** 
 
 Casey wagged her tail excessively as Saul hooked the leash onto her collar. It was already dark outside, well past supper. Saul was in the mood for another walk. He didn ’ t know what else to do. He lived for these walks. The days bound and stuck together in the calendar, not any one was different from the other; the repetition depressed him. The uselessness of himself depressed him. The walks defused the misery, if only by a little. 
 
 Casey and Saul entered the dog park. It was deep in autumn and late at night. Saul let Casey off the leash, and she ran off to the field, running in wide circles. Saul sat down in the grass, laid down his head, and stared up at the stars. There were none, the city lights drowned them away. He thought about the last time he saw stars at their fullest. He couldn ’ t put his finger on it. In the distance, dogs were fighting. 
 
 Saul has always been fascinated in violence, for as long as he could remember, for what that ’ s worth. As a kid he would buy glass ant farms simply to leave them in the sun. As an adult, he went to war. As an old man, the sounds of dogs screaming and fighting came off as a homely ballad. He didn ’ t realize that Casey was the victim until he went over to watch. 
 
 In the thick of the trees was a crater, filled with the litter left by squatters, three wild dogs, and Casey. She stood in the centre, as the three circled around like crows, swooping in to snap at her. Saul acted quickly, running into the crater with arms swinging. Two dogs stepped back and the other stood tall. That one got a kick in the jaw. It tried to fight back, but Saul ’ s kicks left it stunned and hurt. The three dogs ran away into the trees, their black coats fading away. Casey fell to her side with her white fur staining red. 
 
 9 YEARS, 8 MONTHS, 3 WEEKS AGO 
 
 That ’ s when I fell in love with her. I haven ’ t fought in years, not for anything at all, but that night reminded me why others still choose to risk their lives for the things they love. I rushed her to an emergency vet, costing me an arm and a leg, but they stopped the bleeding. The wild dogs got a lot of good shots on her; several bite wounds on her hind legs and back, and one went for the throat. It was nothing that wouldn ’ t eventually heal. She and I spent the night there. I was happy for the first time in years, yet I was livid with anger. I did what I had to do. 
 *** 
 
 A week had passed before Saul toyed with the idea enough. It rang over and over again, kill the dogs. Kill them or be killed. He didn ’ t know how many other dogs they ’ ve killed in the past; perhaps a hundred. That amount is too ridiculous. Does the past matter? All that matters is that it ’ s now Saul ’ s problem. I ’ ve done it in the past. I ’ m different now. Just this once. Three dogs deserve to die. I ’ m doing to world a favor. I ’ m doing it for her, not me. I ’ m doing it for her. I ’ m doing it for her. 
 
 A Glock 17, a present to himself many years ago. Initially he left it in a drawer with a note stuck to it labelled ‘ Exit ’. That note never left, but it escaped his mind with time. He brushed it off and loaded it. He fit in his pocket. He rubbed Casey ’ s belly goodbye and filled her water bowl. He locked the door behind him as he went out for a midnight walk through the woods. 
 
 At first, nothing. The skies were clear and everything seemed to stand still, silent and calm. A little further into the trees, not too far from the crater, Saul sat on a fallen log and waited, warming the handle of the gun in his pocket. Hours passed. It clouded over. He dozed off. A dog sniffing his hand woke him. 
 
 Around him were three curious and black dogs. Two crept back, watching carefully. Saul slowly leaned away from the log. The dog in front took a step back. Two dogs watched, the other stood tall. 
 
 Saul took out his pistol and began firing, point blank in the face of the bravest dog. The inertia of the bullet in the skull spewed blood straight upward like a spitting fountain. The other two immediately began running away, and Saul kept firing after them. His clip was empty, one dog collapsed, and the other kept running away, with a hurried limp and a bullet in its leg. In front of him the alpha male shook and shivered with a missing head. Saul stepped on the twitching legs, holding them still, and then sat back down on the log. 
 

