[ WP ] The narrator of a story finally has enough

The five college students huddled in fear over their dead friend. 
 
 `` I think he's really dead guys!'' 
 
 Cold fear swept over each one of them. They were all silent waiting for one of them to take charge, or at least mention the obvious: that there was a killer about. 
 
 `` We should split up,'' Dean said. 
 
 He was n't the smartest of the group. 
 
 `` No!'' said Lydia, `` Marcus deserves a burial. He was a good man.'' 
 
 In fact, none of them were all that intelligent. Someone with more wisdom tried to take control of the situation. It was the only way any of them would survive. 
 
 `` I have an idea guys! We smear ourselves with the the blood from the body to hide our scent. If we become more like the killer, it will be impossible for him to take us down.'' 
 
 Silence emanated from the room. A tumbleweed somehow found its way *inside* the house to blow through the room. None of the academics appreciated the irony, however. They were too busy eyeing each other with the intense stupidity of each of their plans. None of them deserved to survive this. 
 
 The killer appeared in the doorway, shrouded in rags to cover his face. He started up a chainsaw, and attacked the students. 
 
 `` HRAAA! I do n't want to hurt any of you. Me am actually a peaceful man, and want to come to agreement with words.'' 
 
 The spinning chain contacted a lamp nearby, sending shrapnel directly into the killers trachea. Unfortunately he will never be able to speak ever again. 
 
 Dean yelled to everyone in the room, `` Every body stop, we need to work together!'' 
 
 Thankfully he was sawed in half before he could continue speaking. 
 
 Lidia stood up and took charge instead, `` Lenny, distract him while I get the gun!'' 
 
 The room now leapt into action. The act of somebody not being totally retarded reinvigorated their desire for survival. Lenny threw his shoe at the killer in a vain attempt to fight back. 
 
 It worked, but not to Lenny's benefit. 
 
 The killer lunged with the chainsaw, cutting into Lenny's side. He lunged again, striking the final blow. At the last second, Lidia grabbed the gun and shot the killer through the head. Everyone stopped where they were, paralyzed by the shock of the situation. 
 
 `` I killed him,'' Lidia said, `` I shed his blood, and killed him. I am now the new killer, and must continue killing in order to satisfy my apatite.'' 
 
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 The atmosphere ignited outside as a nuclear explosion took the entire area and vaporized everything. Nobody was ever heard from again, nor did they care. The end.
