[ WP ] You are a shopkeeper in a video game and the player is trying to sell you various questionable goods .

Shopkeeper Barnaby leisurely cleaned the counter with a rag, moving his hand in short circular motions. 
 The little bell on the door rang merrily, a man stepped in, waving as he closed the door behind him. 
 The adventurer glanced at the wooden shelves that lined the shop, taking in the warm smells of the freshly baked bread before stepping up to the counter, “ G ’ day, shopkeep. ” 
 
 Barnaby tossed his cleaning rag aside, “ Likewise, Sir,'' he said with a professional smile, `` You buying or selling? ” 
 
 “ Selling. ” replied the man, his hand reached into seemingly nothing and miraculously came back with a large item wrapped in a rough cloth. 
 Adventurers defy the laws of nature like that, you got used to it. 
 It hit the counter with a clang, he tugged the cloth and a sword rolled out. 
 The shop instantly lit up, the sword a beacon like no other. 
 
 Barnaby shielded his eyes, “ Lightbringer, sword of the high king, ” he grunted. 
 
 The adventurer leaned on the counter, a satisfied smirk set on his face, “ Good, you ’ re familiar with it. That speeds things up, ” he said, “ How much? ” 
 
 The shopkeep squinted, trying to make out the sword ’ s features despite the dazzling light, “ How ’ d you get this? ” he asked, “ This is a royal heirloom. ” 
 
 “ I found it. ” replied the adventurer matter-of-factly. 
 
 Barnaby ’ s brow furrowed, “ You *found* it? ” 
 
 “ Yep. ” 
 
 “ Where? ” 
 
 “ In the palace. ” 
 
 Barnaby's eyes went wide, he hastily flipped the cloth over the sword. The shop plunged into darkness. 
 “ You stole it!? ” he said in what was supposed to be a whisper. 
 
 The adventurer shrugged, “ Eh, I took it off his hands. ” 
 
 Barnaby frantically eyed his surroundings, and sighed in relief once he was sure nobody else was there, “ So, you stole it? ” 
 
 “ No, I literally took it off his hands. ” 
 
 “ What? ” 
 
 “ He was holding it, then I took it and he was no longer holding it. ” 
 
 Barnaby paused, that is indeed how you take something of somebody's hands, “ And he was fine with that? ” 
 
 “ Well, he didn ’ t complain since I gave him my weapon in return. ” 
 
 The shopkeeper's tight posture crumbled, “ Oh, a trade,'' he sighed, `` What did you give him in return? ” 
 
 Once more the adventurer reached into the depths of nothing, pulling out an ordinary iron sword, “ This here. ” 
 
 Barnaby wasn ’ t an educated man but somehow things didn ’ t add up in this trade, “ Why do you still have it? “ 
 
 The man inspected the iron sword, “ Well, I practically forced it on him, but in the end he didn ’ t want it. I forced it on his head, his neck, shoulder blades, ribs, you name it. Then, since his hands were full, I had him hold the blade with his gut. He did n't like that at first, at all, but it was n't long before he seemed fine with it. ” 
 
 A look of puzzlement swam across Barnaby ’ s face, it went around his face in leisurely strokes, wiggling his eyebrows, squinting his eyes, moving the corners of his mouth at random. 
 Then it stopped and quickly fled once it realised the man in front of him was a king killer. 
 An grand alarm was rung in Barnaby ’ s nervous system and his emotions evacuated. 
 Barnaby paled, opening and closing his mouth a few times without any words coming out. 
 
 The adventurer shrugged, “ Well, It ’ s not like he had much use for it anymore. ” 
 
 The shopkeeper took a deep breath, “ I can ’ t buy this, I wouldn ’ t be able to sell it. The royal guard would just come by and take the sword of my hands. ” 
 “ And my head off my shoulders. ” he added. 
 
 The man sighed, “ Fine, figured as much. ” he said, chucking the wrapped sword back into the depths of nothing at all. 
 He went silent for a moment, tapping his lips with his finger, then held that same finger up and smiled. 
 The wooden floor groaned as a massive dragon head appeared out of nowhere, rest of the dragon not included. 
 Barnaby thought it was better that way, he prefered his dragons to arrive in pieces. 
 The dragon head pushed aside the shelves that lined the shop, it ’ s bulk taking up half of the floor space. 
 “ Can you buy some dragon bones? For elixirs and stuff. ” asked the adventurer casually. 
 
 Barnaby poked the nostrils of the massive dragon head, “ This guy seems familiar. ” 
 He searched his mind, found a match in the shape of * “ Targaryus the world-eater ” * and promptly threw that thought out since it was too absurd to consider. 
 “ Yeah, I ’ ll take some dragon bones. ” replied the shopkeeper, prodding the dragon head, “ This one is more than just bones though. ” 
 
 The adventurer's face brightened, a smile from ear to ear, “ Yeah, I can see where that would be a problem. One moment. ” 
 His hand reached into the depths of nothing, pulling out a ghastly looking sword that carried a dark aura. 
 As if the dark cloud was somehow chained to the blade itself, floating along lazily behind the steel. 
 The adventurer tapped the dragon head's with it, a ghastly scream filled the shop. 
 The sword ’ s aura crawled across the dragon ’ s head, enveloping it. 
 
 Barnaby watched the dragon ’ s flesh ooze from its bones with dry fascination and a timid smile, his common sense long since decided it wasn ’ t needed during this particular transaction and had buggered off. 
 “ Neat. ” he said, glassy-eyed. 
 The flesh slumped towards the floor and vanished into puffs of black smoke. 
 A massive white dragon skull now decorated the center of the shop ’ s floor. 
 
 The adventurer smiled, “ There we go, ” he said, attempting to store the blade in the realm of nothing. 
 It accidentally hit a nearby shelf, the shelf screamed like an old man that lost a game of scrabble and the wood rotted, then exploded into dust. 
 The adventurer turned, “ Whoops. ” 
 
 Barnaby placed his elbow on the counter, resting his face on his fist, “ That shelf is about as much as the dragon ’ s head. ” he said, pointing lazily at the destroyed shelf. 
 
 The adventurer started, “ Really? No way. ” 
 
 “ Yeah way, ” replied Barnaby, nodding. 
 
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 Edit: Changed the text using [ these guidelines ] ( https: //www.reddit.com/r/writing/comments/5v06ir/hey_sub_i_was_the_managing_editor_for_a_published/ )
