[ WP ] As chairmen of Vault-Tec , you have final say in what vault gets what purpose . While going over ideas , you come across the most absurd and ridiculous experiment idea you have ever seen . You okay it immediately and hammer out the details

The situation was dire. I knew as much, because I had been on that meeting. 
 
 We were the ONLY division of vault tech, worldwide, that was under budget. Everyone else was way over budget. 
 
 I leaned back, and lit a cigarette. 
 
 I had seen some of their proposals, and it had allmost driven me mad. 
 
 You spend what for this? Tanks with facepaint? Food that was prepared by an iron cheff? 
 
 I had been dilligent, and very very frugal., My designs made sense. Everything was measured out,. renewable, and lacked nothing. Plus, my prices could not be beat. 
 
 The knock on my door ripped me out of my thoughts. 
 
 `` Boss, it's Johnson. VP of marketing. ``, the secretary came over the intercomm. 
 
 I had allways looked up to Bill. He was my mentor, my rock in a stormy sea. Whgen I first made my steps in the regional area of the board, with my own division under me, he had taken me under his wings, and had shown me the ropes. 
 
 I greeted him warmly. Big, bald, and ugly as the day is old. 
 
 `` Bill, how are you, how is the wife and your brother? `` 
 
 It was a joke between us. I knew that his brother was vastly more sucessfull then him. Had done something with stocks, and had founded his own company. Something with science in the title. Yet, the resemblance was clear. 
 
 `` My wife is an ugly hedgehog that has develloped a resistance to poiison, and my brother makes something with shower curtains. `` 
 
 We settled immediatelly down for cigarettes and brandy. 
 
 `` My friend'', Bill said, nd immediatelly came to the point, `` I am not here just to slurp third class brandy and cigarettes from recycled materials. `` 
 I nodded. 
 `` I am here because you failed us so utterly. `` 
 
 I was dumbstruck, and speechless. 
 
 `` But but but... my plans... my cost analysis......'' 
 
 `` Hogwash. Let me give you an idea. How do you think the budgets for nexct year will be determined? `` 
 
 I had to stop for a minute. 
 
 `` I... guess by the budget comittee. `` I stopped for a second, as he looked at me. I had learned years ago he would correct me immediatelly if I made a mistake, so I kept going. `` The budget comittee looks at the work the regional chairmen have done, and then determines who was the most sucessfull. `` 
 
 He sighed. Shit. 
 
 `` Boy, let me tell you how it is done. When the budget comittee looks on your work, what do they see? Not numbers, how efficient you have been. They see how cutting edge your science is. How do you think they determine that? By how much money you save them? hogwash. I mean, it's not like you are not being appreciated for your cost and energy saving designs. `` 
 
 I was.... well, surprised. 
 
 `` Do n't give me that look. You know full well that you do good work. I mean, heck, i read the proposals for your, what did you call them, eternity bunkers. Basically, brilliant. Good stuff, andf how you managed to turn everything into, what did you call it, a biome.... just marvellous stuff. No, the point is, they look at you, and all they see is that you make them money. And you save them something in the long run. by not using you full budget. `` 
 
 I did not like where this was going. 
 
 `` And so, when it comes time to see where they can cut it, where do you think the penny pushers will cut? At other peoples projects, who cost the company millions? That push pushing edge science, and get social grants? `` 
 
 I nodded, very cautiously. 
 
 `` Boy, I like you, but you are very, very thick. Let me explain this in simple terms. 
 
 You build a bunker for 100.000 bucks, that can house four families. Seems good, right? Now, what I build is a bit more expensive, and extensive. I mean, 100.000 bucks... I would not even design a vault door for that. 
 No. They look at your work in the context of the dream. The dream of surviving the apocalypse in style. And learning something with that along the way. 
 
 Now, our vaults, I mean, the swiss love them, but as it currently stands, you have not yet had your..... prestige vault. 
 
 Have you never asked yourself why most of the regional people have these crazy vaults, that seem to make no sense what so ever, and are totally crazy? `` 
 
 I stopped, and very slowly nodded. 
 
 `` The prestige vaults are.... a way into the upper circles. It is common knowledge amongst certain members of the board that if you design a presige vault, something that is so absolutely crazy that it ca n't possibly be passed by the finance board, you show.... talent. `` 
 
 He stood up, and went over to the map, showing all our projects. 
 
 `` I am going to be frank here. If you stay under budget, your budget will be cut. That is how it is. Not only your budget, but also our regional budgets, and our division wide budgets. If you do it that way.... well, good luck. I would be very surprised however if you do not have a famous last stroke of genius. `` 
 
 I strained a bit. 
 
 `` I expect, untill tomorrow, a proposal for your prestige vault. it will be build in the mountains, I can guarantee you that. you will crush your remaining budget. I do not expect that you simply go over budget, I expect that you destroy our regional budget. That way, if it comes on the desk of the finance guys, I can say, well, I know the man, smart man, brilliant person, upper echolon material... sign it off, and we can have him on our side, before he looks elsewhere. `` 
 
 I nodded, feeling numb. 
 
 `` Do n't give me that look. I know how it goes. Firstm there s the look, then, you know that upper echalons get 12 secretaries, and a company car, and then, I see you smile. I have full trust in you. `` 
 
 I sat there for a long time., he went, I sat. my secretary brought tea, I barely touched it. 
 
 I would either have to go hideously over budget, or would feel the wrath of the man I called my mentor. that was... 
 
 I stopped myself. 
 
 Over budget. That did not mean, over inefficient, or over insecure, or insane. It meant one thing. Going over budget. 
 
 My hands shook. 
 
 A vault.... 
 
 I realkised what was happening. 
 
 A vault where I did noit have to cut corners. A vault where I did not have to invent, but could just use things... in triplicate... multiple redundant units. 
 
 Yes. 
 
 All I had to do was to go over budget, and give it an insane sounding experiment. Floor to floor thermal generators. 
 
 I saw it. 
 
 My most beautifull vault design ever. Multiple redundant units, and various parts in storage. Designed to last for the ages. everything the human mind could ever want. Just... to feed the bottom line. 
 
 Yes... multiple backup systems, state of the art tech, designer rooms.... No waiting. No scouring for parts. Unusually healthy food. The best exercise equipment. Libraries akin to the library of congress. Excessive space. 
 
 Just one part missing. Pants. 
 
 I would have to propose to screen the participants if they knew abpout kilts. Filter out anyone that knew alternate sources of garments. Heck, overalls.... pants. Yes.... Only shirts. Half overals, reduced. 
 
 Everyone with even a hint of ancestry that would have known about kilts would be denied. 
 Everyone would be trained to expect the finest pants possible, in a vault that let them miss nothing. 
 
 Just one thing.... 
 
 No pants. Everything else, but no pants. The pure vision was hideous, but.... intriguing. The costs alone were enough to give me a hedache. No pants. and a malfunctioning ai that recognmised any signs of kilts as a flaw to switch off life support. 
 
 Vault 88. Yes... two eights, as a symbol for bottoms.... muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...... 
 
 
 Bill johnson was on the other side of the door. he still held the finger up to remind the secretary to be silent. As laughter ran over the intercom, a smile ran cross his. He looked to the secretary. 
 
 `` And this is how upper echolon management material is made. Honey, do me a favor and call my brother, Cave. Tell him I have a young man here who just finished a vcery promising vault design. He may want to have a look at this. ``
