[ CC ] My first short story , tiltled : Silence , I Spoke . Would love to hear what you guys think .

Alright, here for some CC. 
 
 Your descriptions and imagery are really good, and your vocabulary is impeccable. Keep it up. 
 
 Your main flaw is rhythm and I honestly ca n't tell what's happening in the story. 
 
 > I stared in solace at her figure as I followed, while she looked back at me with a peek. Her subtle existence coursed through the insensible breeze that separated empathy with intimidation. Her oceanic-expansion of consciousness, drowning me in a provocative peace at the act of interaction. A peace that did not silence chaos but embraced it with the purpose to forge a chorus in thought. We stood anterior to a restaurant ’ s entrance she ’ s been longing to try. 
 
 You're trying too hard. The story feels forced and stiff and lagging. Try to show, not tell. 
 
 > I stared at her petite body as she strode ahead of me, then stole a quick peek behind to see if I had followed. Her hair and figure in the summer wind, the chaotic peace I somehow felt with her, the way I wanted to drown in all of her whenever we talked. 
 
 It may or may not be your intention ( I could not tell, which is a dangerous sign ), but the revamped one is two lines shorter and less literal. 
 
 All in all, keep the vocabulary, but do n't try to spread it all over your story. Great words do not mean great stories, and simplicity is something beautiful on its own. Good writers are made, not born.
