[ WP ] A priest , a rabbi , and a minister walk into a bar . But this is no joke , this is a tragedy .

The three men exit the bar. They are oblivious to the bustling city around them. Their worlds were shattered. The rabbi steps in front of a city bus and the life is knocked out of him instantly. The minister walks down the street and is never seen again. The priest went on for a few weeks. One day he was daydreaming about his experience at the bar and inadvertently ran a red light. He was t-boned by a dump truck and killed instantly. 
 
 { 3 weeks earlier at the bar } 
 
 The three holy mens' glasses clink as they toast at the bar. They all just came from a neighborhood fair and were working the faith tent to proselytize their respective faiths. They were all middle aged and devout in their faiths. 
 
 A man suddenly and arrogantly sits down at their table. `` Gentlemen, how are you this fine evening?'' asked the stranger. He continued, `` you know, I have n't done this in over 20 years, but I'm in the mood. The three of you walking in here together at a bar, I've heard every joke there is, quite literally.'' The holy men looked at each other and rolled their eyes as this guy was probably just a man that had a little too much to drink. 
 
 `` I see the eye rolls and know what you're thinking. You think I'm a drunk. You fellows do n't understand. I know this with certainty. I know because I know your every thought. I have n't done this in 20 years, so I want you to know how incredibly rare this is for the three of you'', said the stranger. 
 
 The stranger laughed and froze time around their table. `` That old trick always gets the attention of mortals'', said the stranger. `` I'm sorry to be so dramatic, but it's the best way to convince you that I'm not crazy. Gentlemen, I'm what you would call God, but it's not as easy as that. It is impossible for me to communicate with you in human language, the truth about the universe. In a few seconds, I will transfer some of my knowledge to the three of you regarding the creation of the universe and the actual reality of space-time itself. All of the hows and whys were answered in an instant. The three men suddenly felt enormously foolish. They entire lives were dedicated to something they knew in their hearts was true. They were n't even close. The three men walked out of the bar in a daze. Every bit of passion they had for life was gone. In a flash, they knew everything there was to know. The knowledge was fading, but they would always know more than other humans as long as they lived. 
 
 The rabbi learned that his wife had not loved him for 20 years. The priest realized that his mentor in the Catholic church had abused dozens of children. The minister learned that he was not nearly as popular with his parishioners as he thought. Above all else, they learned that God was nothing like any of their religions taught. Their entire lives were a farce, and not just in the category of religion. They learned what every person thought of them. It was n't all necessarily bad, just different from what their minds conceived. It is this perception, that we are all able to live out our lives in relative happiness and satisfaction. Everything they knew was simply not true, and they would not be able to go on in life much longer. It was too distressing. Embarrassing. Tragic. 
 
 As time returned to normal, the three men left the bar. Their faces devoid of emotion or passion. The stranger knew exactly what would happen. He was n't lying about who he was. He was truly good and truly bad at the same time. As much as he loved all humans, he also felt compelled to hurt them. It was so simple to the stranger. Humans learn early on that life is not all fun and happiness. Would n't their creator reflect that? 
 
 Before the three men left the bar, the stranger told them, `` Reality has tragedy and it has joy. But mostly it is mundane. I am all of these things. I thrive on the negative, as much as the positive, but I mostly exist in the mundane. I spend eons doing nothing as much as I impact the various lives of the universe. You might call it cruel, but without the good and the bad together, life itself would not be possible. I am sorry. None of you will live longer than a month. That's just me being a jerk from the human perspective. This encounter is unusually cruel, but this level of negativity is crucial to existence itself. I am as cruel as the cruelest things in nature and I'm also as beautiful as beautiful comes. I am the Alpha and Omega. Even though I know your human minds can not handle this experience, I sometimes feel the need to be sadistic. When I am done with you three, I will prevent thousands from dying in a flood. I take no pleasure in torturing you three souls anymore than I feel good about saving thousands. It just is and I just am. Now go to your tragic fates. Upon your deaths, the energy of your souls will lose cohesion within hours and you will be no more. The energy that made up your souls will eventually reconvene with other universal phenomena. There is no heaven as you imagine it. In a way your energy will never die, but your consciousness will. Just nature's cruel side. It's nothing personal. Now get out of here, I want to watch this wonderful program on the TV.'' 
 
 As the Ferguson riots are displayed on the television in the bar, the three men walk out of the bar like zombies. Their fates sealed.
