[ WP ] You send away a cheek swab for a DNA test . Your results come back 100 % Neanderthal .

I'm sitting in shock, in the doctor's office. At first my mind goes blank, but surely enough it starts working again. Slowly. 100 %... neanderthal. I blink. 
 
 `` You've got to be kidding me right?'' I ask, half laughing, half scoffing at the idea. 
 
 `` That's what the results say.'' The doctor re-checks his computer. I shake my head. 
 
 `` Not possible,'' I deny it. `` They've probably made some sort of mistake.'' 
 
 `` I assure you, our methods are 100 % valid. They've been rechecked more than once.'' The doctor smiles at me. There's that crummy 100 % again. My brain is finally catching up with the reality. `` This is a marvelous scientific break through. It could mean a lot of scientific progress if you volunteer more of your DNA to research and...'' 
 
 I hold up my hand, cutting him off. `` Okay, before you finish that whole'Let's work together for scientific progress' spiel, what about my being a carrier for Huntington's Disease?'' 
 
 The doctor's mouth pops open and he hurriedly turns back to his computer and scans the contents. 
 
 `` There's no mention of it here.... Ah wait! I found it. Do n't worry, you did not inherit the dominant gene mutation! Now, as to what I was saying earlier.'' He turns back to me expectantly. 
 
 But I'm not waiting to hear what else he has to say. I'm already picking up my coat and keys. Before I actually leave I turn to him. 
 
 `` I have two things to say to you. First off, you performed unneeded tests on my DNA without my consent. You should expect a call from my lawyer withing the next week. Second, being 100 % Neanderthal is genetically improbable nowadays. Even if I was, my ancestors would still have undergone genetic mutation and evolution during the past 40 000 years. So you would n't be able to say with any accuracy that I am 100 % Neanderthal.'' 
 
 I march out of the office, pausing only briefly to shout at him. `` And the next time someone comes to you about an inherited disorder that is severely debilitating and fatal, maybe you should try testing for that instead of something that's been extinct longer than the Dodo!'' 
 
 *** 
 *disclaimer: I know I'm probably not doing credit to any doctors or laboratory personnel out there. Sorry for that. *
