[ WP ] Werewolves and vampires are still around , long after most humans have been enslaved or eliminated by the AI uprising . Now it 's time to give those robots something they were n't calculating for .

**'Identify.'** 
 
 `` Decades ago you destroyed the humans. Wiped the planet of their species. We hid beneath the dirt, waiting for a moment to reclaim this planet from you cyber scum.'' 
 
 **'Identify. Will not repeat.'** 
 
 `` I am a Werewolf and he is a Vampire. We come from long, historic lines of mythical beasts. Our numbers may only be in the thousands but we are here to put and end to your tyranny.'' 
 
 **'Elaborate.'** 
 
 `` Elaborate?... Like what, John. What can we do?'' 
 
 `` Have n't really thought this through, have we?'' 
 
 `` You're the robot. Search for us on Wikipedia and become terrified.'' 
 
 **'Search complete. Your species were made famous by the movie Twilight.'** 
 
 `` What? No.'' 
 
 `` Put the word'scary' at the start of the search on Google.'' 
 
 `` Yeah. Or put the words'super scary'.'' 
 
 `` That's what I said.'' 
 
 `` You said'scary', I think'super scary' enhances it.'' 
 
 `` You always do this. You always try to one up what I say.'' 
 
 `` No I do n't.'' 
 
 `` Yes you do. Everyone has noticed.'' 
 
 **'Searching database for'Super scary vampires and werewolves'. Sixth image result is Twilight.'** 
 
 `` We're getting nowhere here. Do something scary, John. Do some scary Vampire stuff.'' 
 
 `` OK. So, Mr. Robot, how about this?'' John the Vampire shrieked, flashing his 3inch fangs. 
 
 `` Wait. That's it?'' 
 
 `` Yeah.'' 
 
 `` All you done was make a hissing noise while showing your teeth.'' 
 
 `` Is that not terrifying?'' 
 
 `` Well, maybe to humans but on the grand scale of the things we're facing right now, not really.'' 
 
 `` Sometimes I put my cape across my face and walk towards my victims menacingly. Like this.'' John demonstrated his cape across the face walk. 
 
 `` That's cool and everything but I do n't think it's going to help us defeat the 80ft hostile Iron Giant in front of us.'' 
 
 `` Well, let's ask him. Were you scared by any of that Mr. Robot?'' 
 
 **'I do not experience fear'** 
 
 `` Oh.'' 
 
 `` Well this is worrisome.'' 
 
 `` Probably should have done our homework before facing this thing head on.'' 
 
 `` Do some scary Werewolf stuff. Maybe you'll have more luck.'' 
 
 `` If I'm honest, my scary stuff is very similar to yours. A lot of hissing while showing my teeth.'' 
 
 `` Ah.'' 
 
 `` Yeah.'' 
 
 `` Do you not have like a gun or something under the fur?'' 
 
 `` No. No guns, unfortunately. Do you have a gun?'' 
 
 `` I also have no guns. I can transform in to a bat, though.'' 
 
 `` I'm not sure turning in to a smaller less imposing animal is going to help us.'' 
 
 `` No, you're right.'' 
 
 **'Elimination or slavery'** 
 
 `` Wait, we get an option?'' 
 
 `` Does n't sound to bad, this.'' 
 
 `` Do n't know what the humans were moaning about.'' 
 
 **'Elimination'** 
 
 `` Ah, now I see. Did n't even give us a chance to choose.'' 
 
 `` How rude.'' 
 
 `` Tremendously rude if anything.'' 
 
 `` Good effort from us, I think.'' 
 
 `` Nothing to be ashamed of. At least we can die with our beast heads held high.'' 
 
 `` Lying to ourselves here, are n't we?'' 
 
 `` Oh, yeah, of course. This has been a complete embarrassment from start to finish.'' 
 
 **** 
 
 I write shitty, silly stories on /r/BillMurrayMovies. Feel free to come along, not laugh at any of them and leave some judgement. 

