[ WP ] Life is narrated , the problem is the voice tells everyone things people would rather not have known

Jake approached his favorite coffee shop and immediately let out an annoyed sigh when he saw the line. Every day, the line got longer. It was a quaint, non-chain establishment that brewed coffee better than anywhere else. Even better, it was on his way to work. 
 
 The door rang a bell as Jake opened it and he squeezed in between the inside of the door just behind a portly man. 
 
 `` Portly?'' the man asked, looking over his shoulder at Jake. `` Are you calling me *fat*?'' 
 
 Jake raised an eyebrow at the annoyed patron in front of him, who had turned to face him. `` Are- are you reading my mind?'' asked Jake. 
 
 The man's eyes widened as he peered down at the younger man. After the line began moving, he waved his hand down and took his old position behind the elderly lady that was next in line. 
 
 `` Did he just call me elderly?'' the woman asked the beefy gentleman behind her. `` I'm barely *forty*!'' 
 
 `` Just ignore him,'' started the man, `` there's something wrong with this guy.'' 
 
 `` Are you guys talking about me?'' Jake asked the two in front of him. `` It's kind of rude to talk about people like that.'' 
 
 The old woman and the fat guy rolled their eyes and moved several steps closer to the front of the store. Suddenly, the man turned around again with a stern face and stomped toward Jake. He lifted his fist and- 
 
 `` Are you OK?'' a beautiful waitress asked, standing over Jake. `` Th-thanks,'' she continued. There was an obvious attraction between the two as she helped Jake to his feet. `` Wow,'' she laughed, `` you're a slick fellow.'' 
 
 `` Where did that guy go?'' asked Jake, as the waitress walked him to the front of the line. He noticed the name Mary on her name tag, which caused her to laugh again. 
 
 `` The manager threw him out,'' answered Mary. `` Ca n't have our customers getting beat up.'' 
 
 Mary poured Jake a cup of coffee and asked if she could join him for lunch. 
 
 `` Lunch?'' asked Mary, holding back another laugh. `` My break is at 12. Meet me here?'' 
 
 Jake smiled and pulled out his wallet, but Mary shook her head. 
 
 `` On the house,'' she said. `` You deserve it.''
