[ WP ] The government of your choice develops a new super soldier whos abilities are entirely determined by the music playing in his iPod during the battle .

The Shuffler V6.1^TM raced toward the surface of Io. A glowing blue fire outlined, curled and swirled around the Latnum encasement as it approached the surface. The Iship^TM above glitched back into stealth to blend in with the black of space. 
 
 The sun was peeking out from the rings at the far side of Jupiter. TSV6.1 came online: 
 
 *systems check: initiated* 
 
 vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv 
 
 *Idrive^TM: online* 
 
 *playlist selected* 
 
 *Shuffle: Engaged* 
 
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
 
 Contact. 
 
 The Latnum case exploded without making a sound. In it's wake, there it stood, the most sophisticated, expensive, final hope that any species could hope for; Keanu Reeves. 
 
 His tie-dye parachute pants and pink camouflage Isuit^TM radiated with LEDs. Inexorably stiff, like cardboard in cement. [ Track 1 ] ( https: //www.youtube.com/watch? v=otXGqU4LBEI ) began. 
 
 The robotic manifestation lurched its way over the coarse surface toward The Battle Fault. In it's sight was the only remaining inhabitant of Io, Steven Seagal. The one and only catalyst to this whole mess. There it stood, proud of the destruction laid before it's feet in The Battle Fault. Hundreds, no, Thousands of Keanu's predecessors lay in the void, disassembled, dismembered, in ruins. 
 
 [ Track 2 ] ( https: //www.youtube.com/watch? v=04F4xlWSFh0 ) began. 
 
 *Battle mode: Engaged* 
 
 Keanu jets at his adversary with immense speed. Seagal plants his feet bracing for impact. Barreling in at mach 2 over the gaping fault below. Keanu's arms fold in on themselves revealing two huge pairs of scissors. He impales Seagal on the left of his chest resulting in a permanent grapple and with one quick slice, he completely removes Seagal's Ponytail^TM. With Seagals targeting systems ~~deactivated~~ removed, he initiates self destruct. [ Track 3 ] ( https: //www.youtube.com/watch? v=9jK-NcRmVcw ) begins. 
 
 Keanu decimates every remaining iota of Seagal's being leaving nothing but the power core of Seagal's unit intact. With one fluid motion his right arm reassembles into a hand and abruptly grabs the core. With herculean strength he crushes it, an electrical shock wave halo's over the small moon. The red LED on it's face fades to black. 
 
 The Iship^TM dissolves above Keanu, opening the tractor beam door in preparation for his return. Keanu, TSV6.1, looks at the vast openness of space over the void of his predecessors. As the sun's rays begin to fill The Battle Fault [ Track 4 ] ( https: //www.youtube.com/watch? v=sc1IkYwKCtM ) begins.
