[ WP ] Guns have become sentient and decide to voice their opinions on Gun control .

This. Blind. Mother Fucker. 
 
 Oh! Imma gon na loosen this set screw because the gun shoots to the left! 
 
 OH NO It cant be me thats pulling left, its got ta be a jamming spring. 
 
 Its got ta be bad ammo or something. 
 
 You blind, pushing, incorrect trigger finger placing son of a blunderbus. Stop, for the millionth goddamn time anticipating the recoil and letting your drooping limp clammy finger from dropping on the trigger. Its one timy piece of fucking everything important. 
 
 I watch you play COD, running around with a saw thinking you are rambo, shouting at the same goddam corner camper HE IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE. RIGHT THERE YOU BLING PIECE OF SHIT. EVERY FUCKING TIME YOU RUN BY HE IS IN THE EXACT SAME GODDAMN PLACE. JUST SHOOT THE FUCKING CORNER ALREADY. 
 
 But no. Its the campers fault. Its the triggers fault. Its the springs fault. Its the set screw. Its the dust cover. The dustcover? What the holy fuck? We both saw that guy at the end of the range roll his eyes. Get off your stupid ass and oil my slide properly. You wana be GI fucking Joe? They take care of their weapons. Full Metal Jacket, yeah that movie you love to pass out to because you completely missed the fucking meaning of, has a twenty goddam minute gun cleaning segment in it. But nooo. You know better. You havent used anything except wd40 that one time to protect me. My Guts Are Delicate. I dont give a famn about your wallet. Feed me something other then that absolute crap Freedom Munitions you fished out of the bargin bin. Want to shoot straight? Learn what the fuck you are doing. 
 
 Oh right, gun control. Uhhh... 
 Control your gun better? I dont know, I do n't kill things. I mean, except is some very specialized cases, guns dont kill people, or animals, or cans, or tree stumps. Unless its blunt force trama, do n't look at me. Oh sure, the bullet helps some, but we all know who the real killers are. 
 
 Thats right. Blood loss. Or shock. Or Trauma. Or even a combination of those things. Those are the real things to look out for. 
 
 Look, blood loss and septic shock can happen from a miltitude of things, I do n't know what they had for lunch, do you? What are you a doctor of things that guy had for lunch? ( Prove it ). 
 
 No, I get it. You are looking for a scapegoat. Like Video games or rap music. Its the guns that do it. Not your confusing medical system, or the complete lack of universal mental healthcare, or any healthcare for that matter. I dont count emergency rooms as preventitive care, who goes to an emergency thinking `` better brush my teeth so i dont get cavities'' thats right you stupid hicks. I am a proud American Made Gun telling you to shape the fuck up. Yeah I love getting a new upper reciever because you let the shitty ammo you fed me build up deposits and finally something wore through ( I am not a mechanic, i am a gun ). I just love sitting, still hot, with half a mag to go with my carriage falling out because some dipshit never cleaned me and the slide return broke. To the emergency room! 
 
 Sorry that was a tanget. Gun control? Sure. A well ordered militia for the security of a well oiled bolt return, and a cleaning every thousand rounds of actual - on-any-fucking-middle-shelf ammo. 
 
 Gun control? Yeah im for that shit.
