[ WP ] Pope francis starts to recruit for a new cruisade .

When Pope Francis had used his visit to the White House to rally the youth of today to take up arms in a holy crusade, he had not expected this result... Oh, sure. Some children, and parents too, had done exactly as their pontiff and commander had instructed and come to meet him in the streets of New York to join his glorious cause. 
 
 `` Some,'' was the key word there, though. Maybe one-thousand faithful, if he was being generous, had actually taken up the call. Did n't the Catholics of today realize the dangers they were up against as children of Christ? Did n't they too see the evils of gay marriage and gay rights? Pope Francis was beginning to wonder if it all had been in vain. 
 
 Had the world moved on, past the Word of God's infallible chosen one? No, it could n't be! The Papacy was as strong as ever, and so was the faith of the Catholic people, right? 
 
 Wrong. As these things no go, Francis' calling of a crusade was decisively mocked the world over, dwindling the already dented public image the Catholic Church had enjoyed over the last few decades. Media personalities made lighthearted jabs at the Pope's calling of a holy war against the gay community, while kids on the internet relentlessly made meme after meme about Francis and his `` crusade.'' 
 
 Even worse, the US Government had not taken lightly to Francis hijacking the White House broadcast to call for a war against the homosexual community. There was already enough trouble brewing in the nation, and the ever-growing divides between the American people did n't need the Pope to split them wider. Francis was not-so-kindly asked to leave, and his `` soldiers,'' the select few who had taken up his banners, were detained and held on treason charges. 
 
 Back in the Vatican, the Pope, now the subject of global mockery and figurehead ruler of a perhaps fatally-damaged religion pontificated on his mistake. Could it be that Gay Marriage was n't really all that big an issue? Was it possible that maybe he, the Pope ho lived in Vatican City in Europe, did n't really have the answers to America's problems and politics? 
 
 `` No...'' Francis quietly decided. It was the young people's fault. They had turned away from God, and embraced false idols, called facebook, twitter, and worst of all, reddit. Francis decided then and there to rescue these lost, young souls. But he needed to find the best way to do it. 
 
 After much deliberation, he reached the ideal solution. 
 
 He began to lay down the tracks for his new Prog-Rock album the next day.
