[ WP ] Write a murder from the perspective of a cheerful inanimate object

`` Ah, is n't the air lovely today? Cool and crisp, whistling all around me. Its so great to have this nice break from that dank little place I'm normally put. Its so cramped, there's hardly any air around me at all in there! Out here, though, out here there's so much space! 
 
 `` Haha, whoa! Easy there buddy! This swinging around is fun and all, but its making me a bit dizzy! Ouch! Oh, hello new friend! You look just like me! Is n't this so weird, we look the same but we keep getting slammed into each other. Aaaand this is new. Now I'm in some sort of dark, red space. Man, it's wet in here, and even more cramped than that other place I usually am! What's that hard white stuff? I guess I'm back in the air again. Bye new friend!'' 
 
 Kronug the barbarian shook the blood from his `` intelligent'' sword, quietly cursing whatever idiot wizard made this thing.
