[ WP ] A budding young sociopath sits on Santa 's lap .

`` Ho ho ho! What's your name my boy?'' 
 
 `` I'm Jimmy Carlson!'' 
 
 `` And what do you want for Christmas this year, Jimmy?'' 
 
 `` I want my puppy, Santa!'' 
 
 *MY puppy? What kind of kid takes ownership before even being told they'll get the thing? * 
 
 `` Do n't you mean *a* puppy?'' 
 
 `` No Santa, I want *my* puppy, Cochise!'' 
 
 `` Where is this puppy named Cochise, that makes you need to ask Santa Claus for him?'' 
 
 `` He's in the backyard, Santa... I want him back in the house.'' 
 
 `` Why is he in the backyard, Jimmy? Is he in trouble? Did your puppy eat your homework?'' 
 
 `` No, Santa... He's **IN** the backyard. I want him **OUT**.'' 
 
 *I drop my smile for a split second and glance longwise at the nearest elf. * 
 
 `` Wh-what do you mean he's in the backyard?'' 
 
 `` I put him there.'' 
 
 `` You want him back even though you put him out there?'' 
 
 `` I wanted to put another one there, but none of my neighbors have dogs, so I need Cochise back. And I did n't put him out there, I put him in there.'' 
 
 *I signal the elf to come take over. God, I hope he's heard enough to know what he's walking into. * 
 
 `` Well, Jimmy, Santa Claus has to go consult The North Pole's library about bring back little pups named Cochise. You just wait right there and Santa will be right back, okay?'' 
 
 *I really need to learn how to mask my emotions better. Panic is all over my face and leaking out through every word. * 
 
 `` Okay Santa! Thank you!'' 
 
 `` Oh it's no trouble at all, dear Jimmy! Ho Ho Ho!'' 
 
 *I motion to Jimmy's parents to follow me into the office. Aside from telling them what kind of crazy shit their kid is spouting, I'm at a total loss. Serial-killers-to-be are not really my area of expertise. *
