[ WP ] You 're currently dating the girl of your dreams . Problem is : Her overprotective father is Satan .

Well the initial first dinner was n't too bad. I mean obviously, you're standing on Hell's doorstep and you're wondering `` Was Drakkar Noir a good choice for Hell? What if he's a huge dick and does n't give me the chance to answer questions when we play parlor games like charades so every time I answer I'm just interrupted and at the end of the night look like a jackass?'' 
 He was pretty calm. He kept his cool, and was very blunt but respectable. The next time we met up for dinner, it's like he's never heard of personal space. Like when someone in the group makes a dirty joke, he kinda grabs my shoulders and rubs them in a malicious way as if to say `` If you bang my daughter, or lift a finger on the Sabboth, you know exactly what's coming to you'' 
 So then it turns into internet stalking. He starts liking weird pictures from long ago with other girlfriends from like seventh grade. Then he starts harassing me openly calling me stupid and a liar. Well I did n't take too kindly to having my judgement come into question online from'ol scratch. 
 Next dinner rolls around, and I called him out on some of his normal `` high-and-mighty'' bullshit. I ca n't remember the exact argument, but things started to escalate. He literally threw his french onion soup at me. A HOT BOILING LIQUID complete with ceramic dish came hurtling toward my head after I distinctly uttered the phrase `` I fucked your daughter''. You have to understand, we were just starting on the second course of the meal, so most of this soup was still left in the bowl and got everywhere. To reciprocate the violence directed at me, I grabbed my water glass and stepped back into the pocket to hit a quick pass to my wide-receiver that was Satan's face. The only problem was that I had actually slipped in the soup on the ground before the glass was thrown. In surprise, I exclaimed `` Jesus Christ! ``, effectively making this glass of tap water into full-fledged Holy Water. Once that glass hit his face, the earth shook as his body and soul were evaporated into thin air. His wife gasped; my ( ex ) girlfriend screamed. I got the fuck out of there before the shock had worn off the family. As I made my way back to earth, all of humanity was rejoicing and in perfect harmony since satan had been killed. All in all, his daughter was pretty hot, but the hassle was just too much. Plus, I had attempted to trade my soul for moon-shoes when I was younger but got no reply; he kinda deserved it. 

