[ WP ] Write about a card game where the rules and cards get more and more ridiculous as the game goes on .

Sara and Thom sit cross-legged in an open field beneath a vast, starry sky. Between them, a round stone table... the table ’ s surface is an impossibly deep, inky black, as though it is a window to space, and upon it are laid an array of painted cards. 
 
 “ With Arush ascendant, and Sauturian in the mid-heaven plane, ” says Sara, gesturing at the sky, “ the Warrior of Trees, if face-up and adjacent to the Forest of Souls, can shift the field one card anticlockwise across all bands. ” She taps her painted nails against the lacquer-and-wood cards fanned out in her pale hands. “ This, of course, breaks the proximity link between your Chaos Well and the Dog-beast of Arundel, extinguishing its defensive flame aura, and opening it up to attack from my Blind Sage. ” She picks one out, holding it by the corner, with her thumb and forefinger. “ And so I play Warrior of Trees, face-up, in the fourth band and perpendicular to the Sword-smith. ” She places the card down on the field with a soft snap. It depicts a tall, handsome man, wearing wooden armour and carrying a wooden sword. 
 
 A bright light shines from the tabletop, too bright to see by, and when it fades, the field has re-arranged itself. The card portraying a snarling hound on Thom ’ s side of the field is now missing the ring of flames which had surrounded its head moments before. 
 
 “ This is bullshit, ” says Thom. “ Sauturian isn ’ t in the mid-heaven plane. ” He squints up at the sky. “ Sauturian isn ’ t even visible. ” 
 
 “ Tell it to the judge. ” 
 
 Thom glances across to where a golden squirrel lounges on a tiny blood-red cushion, which floats in the air at their eye-level. The squirrel blinks at him, then shrugs. Thom turns back to the game, muttering. “ Come on then, ” he snaps, “ finish it. ” 
 
 “ Blind Sage casts Mind-spear on Dog-beast. ” 
 
 Images flash across the table ’ s dark surface – an elderly, robed man, wearing a blindfold, arms outstretched, and a huge dog with a spear piercing its head – before the light shines again, and the Dog-beast card is gone. 
 
 “ Bullshit, ” says Thom. The squirrel squeaks at him. “ No, I will not mind my language, you little nut-sucking ballbag. ” 
 
 Sara smirks. 
 
 “ You can wipe that look off your face and all, ” shouts Thom, “ it ’ s my turn now. I play Minotaur of Castles, askew, in the first band. ” He slaps a card down near the centre of the field. A mischievous grin spreads across his face. “ Since Moroth is in the Third House tonight, and it has been exactly three-hundred solar cycles since the third Horker War in Satovia, which is exactly three-thousand leagues from here, Chaos Well can extend its proximity link three bands rather than two, which grants Minotaur of Castles the power to use its ability to erect a Fortress in the field. ” Images of a great castle flash across the surface, atop which stands a bellowing minotaur. The light shines, and the field is rearranged. “ I then play Firestorm, the power of which is boosted threefold by the Fortress ’ machinery complex. ” The light shines again, and Sara ’ s Forest of Souls card is gone. “ Lastly, I attack Blind Sage with Minotaur of Castles! ” 
 
 Blind sage crumples beneath a bloody axe, and the card disappears in the light. 
 
 “ Suck it, ” cries Thom. 
 
 Sara is still smirking. “ Judge, ” she says to the floating squirrel, “ is Moroth in the Third House? ” 
 
 The squirrel shakes its golden head. 
 
 “ OH COME ON! ” 

