[ WP ] You die during a driving test and awaken in hell . Satan let 's you return to earth if you complete your test and get your licence on the highway to hell . The devil is your driving instructor , and he is VERY picky .

`` Hello, Christopher'' 
 
 Everything was quiet, but he still seemed to be alive. He opened his eyes, cautiously, his face still clenched. Everything was frozen in the bright headlamps of the truck which sat motionless a few feet away, poised in the act of smashing through the concrete barrier in the middle of the road, and into his car. He snapped his head around to see where the voice came from. His bespectacled, balding middle-aged driving instructor was frozen in a visage of panic, clipboard and pencil hanging in mid-air in front of him, in the passenger seat. In the back seat, was a blond, clean-looking fellow in off-white robes. 
 
 `` Oh God...'' 
 
 `` The other one, actually.'' 
 
 He paused while Christopher looked confused and then slumped in dismay. 
 
 He sighed. `` Yeah, yeah. Anyway here's the deal. As you've probably guessed, that truck is about to smash into you at 60 miles an hour and rip you limb from limb. I ca n't tell you which interpretation of which religion is correct but yours was n't it.'' 
 
 `` I'm an atheist..'' 
 
 `` Yeah. Anyway, the bottom line is, you're coming to work for the cool guy with two thumbs.'' he pointed his thumbs at himself, and smiled expectantly. Christopher cleared his throat. He continued, mildly deflated. `` The thing is, we're trying to streamline things at the moment - you would n't believe how good my finance team is - so we're bringing back an old initiative we tried for a while, where you can prove yourself during some kind of challenge, for another chance at life. I have to warn you, it's not going to be easy. But worth a try right? Second chance and all that?'' 
 
 Christopher was quivering in his chair. `` What kind of challenge?'' 
 
 `` Oh, you can choose the challenge. What would you like?'' 
 
 `` I guess.. A driving test.'' 
 
 `` Ha! Really?'' 
 
 `` Yeah, I've been practising really hard for months. It's all I've thought about recently. I was going to nail it today. And I ca n't really think of anything else right now.'' 
 
 `` Well, why not. Very appropriate, really.'' He snapped his fingers. 
 
 Christopher blinked. He could see his new aquaintance was in the passenger seat now, in a cheap suit, brandishing a clipboard and pen. Christopher looked around him. They had been transported to a landscape which he, only with some hesitation, might call hell-'' ish''. Harpies and terrifying skeletal dragons circled overhead. 
 
 `` Ready?'' 
 
 Christopher breathed. `` No.'' 
 
 `` Then away we go!'' 
 
 Christopher gripped the wheel, his knuckles white, and drove, perfectly. The stress seemed to have shocked his memory and senses into crystal clarity. The only difficulty was ignoring what was going on outside of the car and concentrating on what he was being told to do. 
 
 `` Turn left'' 
 
 The damned clawed at his windows at every red light, begging to be saved. Infants lay dying in the road. Hollow, desperate eyes followed him ceaselessly. He stifled tears of horror and desperately tried not to look. 
 
 `` Park here'' 
 
 A ghoulish apparition in a turtleneck sweater burst forth from the crowds of damned souls by the side of the road, and started throwing fistfuls of money at the car and hammering on the windscreen, screaming something. He ignored all of them brilliantly and executed a flawless example of parallel parking. 
 
 `` Hmm.'' 
 
 Christopher thought he detected a slight hint of approval in that noise, and was cautiously optimistic. But the next words filled him with dread. 
 
 `` I think it's time we tried something.. Different. Make a right at the next exit.'' 
 
 When they continued, he found himself driving through a pale, shimmering desert, and past mountains of gold bathed in setting sunlight. Delicious food was layed out on long banquetting tables by the road side. Supernaturally beautiful women were singing inexplicably alluringly, and beckoning to him with obscene, and frankly extremely appealing gestures. The road made unexpected and sharp twists, perfectly placed to catch out a distracted driver. Every so often, there were vast stages, where the greatest musicians from history were playing new masterworks amongst throngs of the dead. 
 
 He could see the trick here. Staunchly ignoring the music, the women, the food, and the scenery, he commanded himself to stay focused on the road with all of his willpower. Now, a huge stone slab came into view. Engraved on it, in huge letters, stood - THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS followed by slightly smaller print underneath, which he started to squint to read before snapping his eyes back to the road. `` Focus!'' He told himself again. Another - HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU. He kept his eyes on the road this time. THE MEANING OF LIFE. THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING. THE SECRET OF IMMORTALITY. He sailed past them. He had the hang of it now. It was like filtering through spam. But when he saw HOW TO PASS THIS DRIVING TEST YOU ARE DOING, RIGHT NOW, CHRISTOPHER, his head automatically jerked to the side but all he could make out was the word'Do n't' before he tore his gaze away just in time to swerve around a horrifyingly sick-looking child in the arms of his decapitated father who was stumbling across the road. Christopher swerved again, only narrowly missing oncoming traffic. The blood drained from his cheeks. As he drove on, he was certain it was all over. From what he knew of the figure sitting next to him, who was currently scribbling into his clipboard with a frown, he did not have a reputation for leniency. 
 
 Christopher finished the test in a cold sweat. When he was told to pull over, he wiped his face with his sleeves, hands shaking violently. He looked down at his lap, waiting for judgement. 
 
 `` Well. I failed did n't I.'' 
 
 `` Well, from my perspective I'm glad to say you passed with flying colours, but from yours, I'm afraid, Christopher, that yes, you failed. You did n't help a single one.'' 
 
 `` I knew - wait, what?!'' 
 
 `` Did n't you see all those souls? Did n't you hear them begging for your help? You just parallel parked right next to them.'' 
 
 `` That's what you told me to do!'' 
 
 `` Yeah. And then you did it. You did n't even listen to any of the music.'' 
 
 `` I - But I - I was trying to pass the driving test!'' 
 
 `` You see, it's just that kind of attitude that we need more of round here. We need more people that think like you. People who think a driving test is more important than helping people who are suffering all around you. People who think it's more important than learning the secret of happiness! It was right there in front of you!'' 
 
 `` But - you told me I had to do the test to get my life back..'' 
 
 `` I said you had to prove yourself during some kind of challenge. I was trying to find out if I sent you back, whether you would appreciate it. I gave you a thousand opportunities for every kind of joy. Do you know how good you would have felt if you'd helped that man and his son? Do you know how much any of those poor ghouls would have thanked you for a moment of compassion? Do you know how good Hendrix's gigs are these days?! You could have eaten the greatest feast of your life. Did you? Of course not. Important sounding people told you it was important to pass your driving test, and you utterly and rigidly sacrificed yourself, and all compassion for those around you, to that end.'' 
 
 `` But -'' 
 
 `` We've been trying to push the world towards making people like you for ages. Do you know how hard it is to get people down here when they think for themselves? But it looks like it's really starting to work! Mindless, unquestioning obedience, even to me.'Turn left past those suffering people Christopher, got ta pass that test!' Haha! Hopefully everyone will be just like you in the near future. Would n't that be a fine thing?'' 
 
 `` No! Well.. What?!'' 
 
 `` In any case - welcome on board. We'd better see what happens with that truck, exactly.'' 
 
 `` OH GOD WAI -'' 
 
 He snapped his fingers.
