[ WP ] '' That 's it ! '' shouts the DM , `` You say I 'm too easy on you as a DM ? Well I 've got the dungeon of bullshit all lined up , none of you fuckers are making it out ! '' Let 's see the in game perspective

`` What was that?'' mumbled Jacob, his dark elf eyes shining beneath his fedora. 
 
 `` Not feel anything,'' grunted Thrug. 
 
 `` I felt it too,'' sang Moontracer. Again the ground trembled, and with a great thunk the ground beneath them collapsed. Together the party plummeted into a grand cavern, they fell amongst the debris, miraculously uninjured. `` Oh Jacob!'' Panted Moontracer, `` are you hurt?'' She wore a garment of intricate silver plates that somehow supported and revealed her cleavage. 
 
 He lit a cigarette, clutching his side. `` The fall did n't help that razorback wound, that's for damn sure.'' He surveyed the surroundings, a sunken kingdom of some kind, in huge caverns streaming with faint werelight. They had impacted a small platform, some thousand feet from the jagged stone beneath. To one direction lay a narrow cave, the other was deeper into the chasm. 
 
 `` Thrug hear sound in cave, you quiet.'' Thrug raised a meaty hand beside his ear as Moontracer held another healing potion to Jacob's lips, the wound began to close. `` Thrug hear noises!'' He shouted and drew his ax. Jacob drew his revolver. 
 
 And they waited. 
 
 It came from the darkness, a barely audible heartbeat of a thousand feet in unison. 
 
 `` Spiders!'' Thrug bellowed, `` run!'' 
 
 Their pace was agonizing, Moontracer did what she could to help Jacob along, but with that wound he was slow. They came to a wide platform and decided to face the foes there rather than be overcome in the narrows. The spiders flitted between beams of werelight, the long hairy legs terrifying. 
 
 Thrug waded in, his ax cracked one carapace, than another. `` Take my greatsword!'' Shouted Moontracer, `` It's +3 against spiders!'' He caught the weapon in the air and swung it with broad sweeps, killing three spiders in a blow. The revolver cracked and four spiders died, an enchanted bullet zipping between them. 
 
 Moontracer lifted her staff and a lash of fire rained out, the spiders in the front erupted into flames, bursting from the heat and the hairy legs passed the conflagration quickly, and with a few more slices and rounds they were safe from the pack of spiders. 
 
 Moontracer breathed a sigh of relief, `` that was all the mana I had, how are you on bullets?'' 
 
 `` Last reload.'' 
 
 `` Thrug need stamina potion.'' 
 
 They knew resting, even for an hour, would relieve them of their wounds, but there was a bad premonition about this place. Jacob winced `` Pop your potions and let's go.'' 
 
 `` Last mana pot, boss.'' 
 
 `` Thrug out of stamina potions and health potions.'' 
 
 `` And I'm about to be out of bullets.'' 
 
 Heavy footsteps sounded in the distance, four bronze statues were marching after them, twenty feet tall. `` Run!'' And they ran, their flight led them down onto the floor of the unfathomably vast cavern and into a ruined castle. They sealed the gate behind them, and pressed on. `` Supplies!'' Thrug announced, although they were scant few. A little better off they continued and came across a narrow stair that led into the floor of the cavern. With a sudden gasp Moontracer slipped, crashing into the others. Alltogether they crashed through a doorway, over a railing and onto a narrow precipice. 
 
 The faint werelight was gone, replaced by the vengeful glow of molten magma. Across a narrow stone bridge there was a doorway, but it was close and narrow, and would take time to squeeze through. A voice sounded behind them, and they turned. 
 
 Before them stood a fable made flesh, a dragon of impossible size, it's claws enough to skewer a horse. Her presence was magnificent, her raw might tangible. `` What is this?'' The voice echoed, a double timber kind of like Smaug from The Hobbit, but way cooler. `` A paladin, a berserker, and a black elf mafioso.'' 
 
 `` Dark Elf, bitch.'' 
 
 `` Why, such harsh language on such a gracious host? I mean you no harm, pleasant travelers, my family and I welcome those who are lost.'' They looked around, and what had first appeared to be gemstones the size of houses unfurled from the walls. More dragons! 
 
 `` Go with my...'' the dragon looked down, her eyes golden furnaces. They followed her gaze and saw their fall from the balcony had been arrested by a small trough of flowers, it's contents crushed beyond recognition. Her bellow shook the cavern, `` what have you done to my PETUNIAAAAAAS!'' 
 
 They narrowly evaded the gout of fire that shot forth, the stone where it touched glowed with molten glass. `` I am the GRAND DRAGON OF THE DM HAS HAD ENOUGH BULLSHIT!'' She bellowed, `` I HAVE MORE HIT POINTS THAN THE UNITED STATES HAS NATIONAL DEBT! MY ARMOR CLASS HAS TO BE EXPRESSED AS AN EXPONENT! I AM IMMUNE TO ALL MAGIC AND RECEIVE SAVING THROWS ON ALL CRITICAL HITS WITH A ROLL OF ONE OR GREATER!'' 
 
 With a flick of her claw her brood descended upon them. They knew they had one option, to slay the beast. One last, glorious hurrah. 
 
 Afterwards the cavern was darkened, the magma had cooled and they sat again under the werelight. `` So much dragon blood.'' Moontracer sat hugging her knees, rocking back and forth. 
 
 `` I was swallowed whole and carved my way out,'' Thrug said. His eyes faraway 
 
 `` Thank the gods no one knows about that loaded D20. Now let's get out of this place, I've got some Bullshit Dragon Scales I'm going to make into a new coat.'' 
 
 `` Are you sure you'll have the stats for it?'' 
 
 `` Meh, I'm sure I'll get away with it if I ask nice enough.'' 
 
 Edit: Words
