[ WP ] An important press conference , with rows of cameras pointed at you . Dozens of journalists wait with bated breath , until finally you mutter , `` no comment '' into your microphone . The room explodes with excitement . One of them yells , `` this is going to be front page news across the planet ! ''

`` Mr. President, sir, please, what is happening? Is the human race doomed? Or is n't it?'' 
 
 It had been 30 minutes. 30 minutes since some pencil neck spotted the comet hurtling towards earth with a ridiculous toy he bought on the internet. We wanted to keep this a secret, just let the human race die with dignity. Now the press swarmed my podium like a bunch of bees, hoping for something anything. 
 
 I had nothing, I was never a good speech writer. Oh I could make a crowd cry red, white and blue tears with my public speaking, but I never had the chops for writing the speeches themselves. Who cares anyway? We're all gon na die. 
 
 `` Mr. President are the rumors true?'' 
 
 I tapped the mic, sighed, and said `` No comment.'' 
 
 The crowd burst to tears and cheers, people screaming, hugging, reporters barking happily into their cell phones and tweeting as fast as their crooked thumbs allowed. Confused, I exited the podium backstage, to see my team huddled around a flat screen, watching the news. 
 
 Shots of people all around the world were cheering. 
 `` We've just been given confirmation from the President himself!'' said the reporter among a sea if happy masses. `` No comet! No comet! Confirmed by the President himself!'' The reporter dropped his mic and was swept up in the crowd, hugging and singing. 
 
 Well, this is n't dignified, but hell, this ai n't such a bad way to go.
