[ WP ] Intrigued by the intelligence of octopuses , a scientist extends their normal 3-5 year lifespans by 50 years to see how their intelligence develops .

The two lab-coated scientists stared into the central containment tank. Suspended in the center was an amorphous blob wreathed in a tangle of multicolored wires. The thing pulsed slowly, breathing the green tinted water. The tentacles of the creature hung limply, drifting slowly with the soft current of the tank filtration unit. 
 
 Tap, tap, tap, `` How's our little octo-bot doing today?'' 
 
 The tentacles twitched, but even the creatures eyes remained stationary. 
 
 `` You think it's dying, Ted?'' 
 
 Ted continued to stare into the tank, `` We're all dying, dude. Yeah, I know what you mean though. It's obviously not dead-dead though.'' He nodded his head towards the nearby wall of monitoring equipment. There were a dozen square meters of various displays, graphs, and other metrics commonly associated with life signs. 
 
 The two stood in silence for a few moments more. Ted cleared his throat and stretched his arms, `` Whatever. Did you finish the notes?'' 
 
 James, the taller of the two scientists, answered in a stereotypical scientist voice, `` Year 42 / Day 238: Subject shows no signs of change. Vitals stable. Observation continuing.'' He laughed and continued in his normal voice, `` I bet I could write a little program that would just update the date and write these silly notes for me. Would n't even have to show up to the lab! It's not like anything ever changes. Ol' Blobbly... Just hangin' out.'' 
 
 Ted tried to sound outraged, `` Dude! ``, but laughed, `` Do n't say that shit man. What would the professor think?'' 
 
 `` He'd probably say,'James Thornton! Science is not built on shortcuts and time savers. Science is built on the foundations of blah blah blahology.''' 
 
 Ted held a hand to his chin, mocking the way their professor tended to stand. In the exaggerated voice of an old man he spoke, `` Indeed!'' 
 
 The scientists chuckled as they walked out the heavy steel door, triggering the magnetic lock on their way out. 
 
 Later that evening, Ted was on his fourth beer when he experienced that stunning shock that people tend to experience when they've forgotten something important for way too long. 
 
 `` I'll be right back, dudes... I forgot something.'' The small group in his living room barely even acknowledged him over the hubbub of the story being told by James. 
 
 Ted rushed into his bedroom and woke up his personal computer. He grumbled to himself, ``... ca n't believe I forgot the damn, stupid, damn biometric recorder. God damn the damn...'' 
 
 He quickly typed in the username and password that would allow him to remote-in to the laboratory computer. He moved some windows around as he did a habitual cursory overview of the various monitoring equipment. Everything appeared to be nominal. There were no notable changes in the records for the last hour at least. He minimized all windows except for the primary monitoring nexus software, but stopped and stared when he noticed the footage from the persistent webcam that ran in the background of the lab computer. Even in the dark the glow from the myriad monitors allowed him to see that the primary containment tank was empty. 
 
 He mumbled to himself, `` What the...'' 
 
 Ted attempted to increase the bandwidth and quality of the camera, hoping that maybe this was some sort of graphical artifact or glitch. The image clarified further, losing most of the blockiness, but still the tank appeared to be empty. The increase in resolution allowed him to note the harness that usually held the specimen hanging empty from the top of the tank. 
 
 He squinted as he panned the shoddy camera around the room. It was a cheap cam from the electronics store and not designed to pan very much. As the camera drifted slowly towards the edge of the desk he thought he saw movement. He attempted to pan further, but the camera would not move in that direction. He panned downwards instead. He noticed that the keyboard was nearly falling off the edge of the desk at a strange angle. 
 
 `` There is no way...'' Ted could practically see the desk of earlier this afternoon in his mind. The two scientists never left the lab messy. 
 
 He clicked once to allow the camera to pan back to the default position. He sat back in his chair he absently watched the camera move. He could hear the party continuing in his absence outside. 
 
 The camera had reverted to default position. Ted could clearly see that the tank was once again occupied. Squinting, he brought his face close to his monitor. 
 
 `` What the hell, man?'' He hissed, `` Glitches.'' 
 
 He double checked that the biometrics were now being recorded. Only one hour of data is automatically saved without the record feature. He took a moment to look closely at this older data. The signs showed that the creature must have been in the tank the whole time. It must have been a camera glitch. 
 
 He sighed loudly, `` I'm going crazy.'' 
 
 Scientist instincts took over and he decided to troubleshoot the camera issues before he went back to the party outside. Unthinking, he simply opened the browser of the lab computer and began to type. 
 
 How to fix webcam \\ [ Search ] 
 
 Ted paused for a moment. What did the autofill say? He hit the back button and typed his request again, slowly this time. 
 
 H. Ho. How [ human think ] 
 
 The hell? He clicked a few times to open the history. Dozens of pages had been visited today, but only one had been accessed during their work hours. He browsed through the entries, mostly search queries: *how human think, why human speech, human speak how, can think, human brain think, what blobby, james thornton human name, james thornton human purpose. * Most of these searches were performed in the last few hours. Ted noted that the most recent query was 15 minutes ago - A wikipedia article for human anatomy. 
 
 He paused for a moment before standing slowly and walking back towards the party. 
 
 James looked up from the drinking game on the coffee table, `` Hey man, your turn... Fuck, dude, you alright?'' 
 
 `` James. We... Everyone needs to go. We need to go to the lab.'' 
 
 His friend laughed, but looked weirded out, `` Nah, man. Drinky time, not worky time.'' 
 
 Ted still looked stunned, `` No, James. Call the professor, we need to go to the lab immediately. Something is happening at the lab. The specimen. I think it's awake.''
