[ WP ] You are a professional pickpocket . You 've just picked someones pocket only to discover that the thing you have stolen is truly horrifying .

A turd? Never in all my years. The billfold felt a little thick. I thought maybe it was from a wad of cash. Nope, just a dry flattened piece of poop wrapped in a napkin. Pick pocketer? More like poop pocketer or at least that's what it felt like. Was it human poop? Or dog? So many questions, but I had to let it go. It was getting late and I needed a room. 
 
 Most the crowds were thinning out, except for the mob of customers colliding into each other at the Mall's West entrance near the food courts. As I walked toward the escalators near the entrance, I noticed a mom pushing a stroller. She stops and sets a giant baby bag on the floor and begins rummaging through it. With her attention elsewhere, I snatch her purse right off the stroller. Jackpot. I tuck it into my jacket as I walk away. It feels a little warm. Maybe she had some warm food sitting next to it? Maybe there's food in it? 
 
 I get outside and take a seat on the bench. I pull the purse out of my jacket and start to unzip it. Halfway through the zip an odor seeps out and makes me gag. It smells like a thousand unwiped buttholes marinating in the hot Saharan sun. I blindly reach into the purse and that's when I feel it- that muddy liquid flowing through my fingers- I just knew it was shit.
