[ TT ] [ WP ] The King has sent you , a wandering mercenary , to slay the Dragon and bring the Princess home . However , upon arriving at the Dragon 's Keep , you learn the Princess was not kidnapped , but instead is a runaway .

`` Please just get in the fucking wagon!'' 
 
 `` No!'' She screamed, `` I'm not going back! Tell the king I'm dead or the dragon killed me or something! Just leave!'' 
 
 I sighed. `` First off, is there even a dragon? I've been her for twenty minutes already and have n't seen shit except for a couple of... what the fuck are these things? Dresses? 
 
 `` For your information, Sir Asswipe, or whatever you like to be called-'' 
 
 `` It's Robert! My name is Robert and I've told you that like five times now, you annoying Harpie bit-'' 
 
 `` Whatever! I do n't care!'' She jumped from her bed and pointed her finger at me. `` They're corsets you ignorant prick! And for your information, the dragon is a ghost dragon and he'll kill you if you do n't leave. So let me be...'' 
 
 I laughed. `` A ghost dragon? Really?'' 
 
 `` Yeah, really! So you best get out before I summon him.'' 
 
 I wiped the sweat from my brow. It was a forty-day ride on horseback all the way out to the Dragon's Keep and there was no way I was leaving empty handed. Plus, I'd only be getting paid if I brought her back home alive. 
 
 `` Well good!'' I shouted. `` I've killed like six or seven ghost dragons in my day and I'm really fucking good at it. Summon the beast and lets get on with it!'' 
 
 She looked surprised. I drew my sword and paced around the corridor of the room. She sat back down on her bed. 
 
 `` Well, I'm waiting. Where is this ghost dragon?'' 
 
 She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. 
 
 `` Listen, there is no dragon, but I ca n't go back to my fathers kingdom. He'll only lock me up in my room until the day that I die. You need to help me.'' 
 
 I sheathed my sword. `` Dragon's keep, and yet no dragon? What happened to the last two mercenaries the king hired?'' 
 
 She shook her head. `` One died of a heart attack as soon as he reached my chambers and the other one fell off the balcony. Well, I kinda pushed him, but you get the point.'' 
 
 `` And when you say heart attack, you mean....?'' 
 
 `` Meaning I stabbed him, yes.'' She shrugged. 
 
 I nodded. `` Well this is fucking great. Question, how have you survived on your own for so long?'' 
 
 She pointed to the stairs. `` There's a storage closet two floors down. There's enough food and water to last me for years.'' 
 
 `` Interesting.'' I did n't know what I was going to do, but I knew I had to make a choice. Forcing her onto the wagon would be tough, but I had n't had a good meal in weeks. I really needed to get paid. 
 
 `` Well its obvious you'd try to kill me the whole way home, I see that now. That being said, I really need to fucking eat. I'll be downstairs if you need me.'' 
 
 `` Where you going?'' She said. `` Are you leaving?'' 
 
 `` Haha, of course I'm not. I'm going to go find myself a spare room. Looks like you found yourself a new roommate for the time being. See you at dinner.'' 
 
 As I started walking down the stairs, the princess stood up abruptly as if she was going to object. Yet, as I made my way down, she had said nothing. 
 
 `` Guess this is home for the time being,'' I mumbled to myself. `` Home sweet home.'' 
 
 CHAPTER/PART 2 
 
 `` Good Evening.'' She said, walking into the dining room. I had already taken my seat at the table, positioning myself at the far end facing the door. 
 
 `` Good Evening, wench. Take a seat.'' 
 
 `` Excuse me? That's no way to speak to a princess!'' She yelled. 
 
 `` Well good thing you do n't want to be a fucking princess anymore, you've made that pretty damn clear. So sit your ass down and eat.'' 
 
 She admitted defeat and walked quietly to the chair across from me. I had set out a pitcher of a strong stout and a stale, but overall decent loaf of bread. As she pulled back her chair, I motioned for her to stop. 
 
 `` Take the knife out of your corset for fuck's sake.'' 
 
 Her eyes got big as she stumbled for something to stay. 
 
 `` Really? Wow, those last two mercs must of really been something. I feel quite offended. Is your left breast just magically larger than your right one?'' 
 
 She slowly removed the knife from the left side of her corset and placed it on the table next to her plate. As she sat down in the chair, I could n't contain my laughter anymore. 
 
 `` Oh, dear princess. Excuse me for asking, but is your right calf swollen? Did you fall on your way down the steps this afternoon? Did the ghost dragon hurt you? What the fuck were you going to do, stab me while I ate from across the table. Or are you a master knife thrower? I mean seriously, this must be a joke.'' 
 
 I reached across the table and grabbed the first knife. She gritted her teeth as she removed the second one from her leg and handed it over to me. 
 
 `` That's better, thanks! Maybe now I can enjoy my fucking beer without worrying about getting stabbed.'' I mumbled some curses under my breath as I ripped off a piece of bread. I took a swig of my beer and belched as loudly as I could. 
 
 The princess remained quietly, staring down at her empty plate. 
 
 `` Help yourself.'' I said, gesturing to the center of the table. `` Enough bread and alcohol for us both.'' 
 
 `` I've lost my appetite.'' She murmured. 
 
 `` Oh, swell. Do you think bashing your skull in with my plate would help you find your appetite?'' 
 
 She looked up at me with a large smirk. `` You would n't dare hurt me, my father would n't pay you if you did.'' 
 
 I shook my head. `` Wrong, the contract simply says you have to be alive. I could carve my initials into your face and brand my name on your ass if I wanted, as long as you came back alive.'' 
 
 `` You're lying!'' She screamed. 
 
 I grabbed both of the knives from earlier and stood up from my chair. `` Lets find out!'' 
 
 Her face went white as she bolted from her chair towards the exit door, running up the stairs towards her bed chamber. I did n't know exactly what I was going to do, but I had to do something. 
 
 There was no way I was not getting paid. 
 
 *UPDATED* CHAPTER/PART 3 as requested 
 
 For a girl her size, she was fast. I arrived at the door to her bed chambers about three seconds too late only to hear the locking mechanism fire. I leaned my back against the door. 
 
 `` Your not serious,'' she shouted, `` about carving your initials into my face? Right?'' 
 
 I laughed. `` No, although I was thinking about cutting your face clean off and wearing it around the keep. I could just bitch about everything and try to kill anyone who came to visit.'' 
 
 `` Oh, shut up!'' 
 
 `` Make me!'' I yelled, not moments before a sword came slicing through the wooden door, merely inches from my face. I jumped back from the door in disbelief. 
 
 `` What the hell woman?!'' 
 
 `` That's what I thought, now go away. I told you, I'm not leaving.'' 
 
 I rolled my shoulders back and cracked my knuckles. After a brief look at the hinges of the door I realized that I could probably kick it down. 
 
 `` Alright bitch, here I come!'' I lowered my shoulder and took a step back, but before I could move, the hallway shook to the sound of a large thud. I braced myself against the wall, only for it to go quiet again. 
 
 The noise sounded like it came from below, and as I drew my sword, I heard a whisper from the bed chamber. 
 
 `` Hey! What was that?'' 
 
 `` Shhhh!'' I whispered. `` Keep your mouth shut.'' 
 
 I heard the locking mechanism fire as the bedroom door opened slightly. A pair of eyes peeked out at me, with the slight glimmer of steel beside them. 
 
 `` Where did the-'' She was cut off, as a large crashing noise, like glass being broken, came from below. 
 
 `` Did you hear me, woman? Quiet! Who else is here?'' 
 
 `` Nobody...'' She whispered, as she pulled the door farther back and took a step out. 
 
 I slowly lowered my sword to my side and began to walk down the steps. 
 
 `` Where are you going?'' The princess closed the door behind her and began to follow me down the steps. 
 
 `` Go back to your room!'' 
 
 `` No! What if something comes up and kills me, what then?'' 
 
 `` Well then I guess I wo n't be getting paid.'' 
 
 `` Exactly!'' She hissed. `` I'm safer with you.'' 
 
 Another large crash echoed the lower level. It sounded like a table had been flipped over. 
 
 `` Fine!'' I hissed back. `` Just do n't make any noise. Can you actually use that sword?'' 
 
 She held it up, admiring the fine steel and wooden handle. `` Well, one time when I was seven the quarter master took me out to the-'' 
 
 `` That's a big fucking no, so in that case leave it here before you end up hurting yourself.'' 
 
 `` I feel safer with!'' She pleaded. 
 
 `` And I feel safer without you having it! Leave it!'' 
 
 She threw the sword to the ground with a large KLANG as it fell all the way down the steps, getting louder and echoing after each one. 
 
 `` What the actual fuck?? Are you trying to kill us?'' 
 
 `` I'm sorry.'' She sneered, crossing her arms to her waist. I winced after each step the sword hit until the final, dreaded KLANG at the very bottom. 
 
 Whatever was downstairs, it knew we were here. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

