[ WP ] `` God '' is actually two people : one who is omnipotent but not omniscient , and the other who is omniscient but not omnipotent . They both hate each other .

`` Erm... uh, Hello?'' The glowing silhouette of a person stammered. 
 
 `` Hurm...? Er, a whatsit?... Oh! Um... hello, little, uh...'' 
 
 An incredibly old visage of a man regarded the glow of a human figure in front of him from an easy chair and furrowed his cottoned brow, buried in a jungle of silvered hair. 
 
 `` Uh... hrumph'' The old man noised agitatedly. 
 
 `` Soul.'' The old man looked startled when the gold and black braided snake draping his easy chair spoke. 
 
 `` Yes... of course, I knew that... Soul. Yes little Soul? What can I do for you?'' 
 
 `` They want to know what's going on... like they all do'' The snake sighed. 
 
 `` Oh, yes of course... well, it's, ah... hmmm, you see I, we... er...'' The old man trailed off in thought, stroking and twirling his beard, or at least that's what would be guessed, given his hand was buried and hidden in the overflowing river of wild white hair. 
 
 `` You're dead.'' The snake interrupted. `` You had a good life, did your thing, had some ups and downs, had a laugh, and now you're here.'' 
 
 The glowing human figure quietly looked back and forth between the snake and the old man for a moment. 
 
 `` Does that mean that you're...'' 
 
 `` Yes.'' The snake interrupted again. 
 
 `` Both of y-'' 
 
 `` Yes.'' 
 
 `` Why did-'' 
 
 `` Because that's the rules of how this works'' Said the snake impatiently. 
 
 `` Well that's not-'' 
 
 `` I know'' 
 
 `` But, what's the meani-'' 
 
 `` To live it, and find meaning for yourself'' The snake continued with an annoyed flick of its tongue. 
 
 The glowing figure paused, regarding the odd pair more inspectively. 
 
 `` Is there anyone else I can talk to about this?'' the figure asked after a moment. 
 
 `` No. Well yes, but you probably wo n't find a meaningful answer'' said the snake. 
 
 `` Well, since I'm here at least, do I get to go to Heaven?'' asked the figure hopefully. 
 
 The old man pulled himself out of his ponderances and suddenly looked engaged in the conversation again. 
 
 `` Well!'' he said, with a flourish of his eyebrows. `` Do you think you deserve to?'' 
 
 `` You did lead a rather, let ’ s say multifaceted life...'' The snake added, with a flick of its tongue and a seeming grin. 
 
 `` They did?!'' The old man asked the snake excitedly. `` Well, that seems good enough to me!'' 
 
 The glowing figure shuffled its glowing feet nervously. `` Um, yeah... ok'' 
 
 The old man leaned closer, peering with almost closed eyes at the figure through a cloudscape of hair. 
 
 `` So... what kind of heaven, or eternity, or what-have-you do you want?'' The old man asked kindly. 
 
 The figure looked a bit sheepish, and glowed a bit with a nervous smile... or at least it would have if it had facial features anymore. 
 
 `` Maybe something with lots of delights, and food... jet skis would be nice. And new things to explore, and a very large amount of..er... I do n't know if I'm allowed to ask for-'' The figure stammered. 
 
 `` It's ok, I've got this.'' The snake said with a wink to the figure. Raising its scale-shimmered head to the old man's hair-buried ear, it whispered between flicks of its tongue. 
 
 The old man listened intently to the snake, once again burying his hand into the depth of his beard and presumably tugging on it in thought. 
 
 `` Uh huh....hmm... uh huh... yes, of course....ah... oh!'' The old man looked surprised again, and then regarded the figure. `` You naughty little... um... whatsit...'' 
 
 `` Soul.'' Said the snake. 
 
 `` Yes. Soul. You naughty little soul. Very well... enjoy yourself, and please fill out the Quality Assurance form once you get there. Off you go!'' The old man's beard and eyebrows gave the impression he was smiling from the way they bushed up, and with a clap from the old man, the glowing figure was gone. 
 
 `` hmm...'' The old man thought aloud. `` Perhaps there is time for us to have a bit of tea before the next one. What kind wo-'' 
 
 `` Green tea with Jasmine.'' Interrupted the snake. `` Please.'' 
 
 `` You know, I wish you would n't do that. It's rude.'' huffed the old man. 
 
 `` Well I wish you'd show me how you created the cosmos, Heaven, and Earth... Heavens.'' The snake corrected herself. 
 
 `` Hell if I know'' shrugged the old man, pouring some tea. 

