[ EU ] Batman turns evil and starts committing crimes rather than stopping then . The Joker realises that in order to remain Batman 's antagonist he must turn good and become a hero .

`` Hello, operator, I need the number for Wayne Enterprises. Yes, you can connect me.'' 
 
 `` Yes, hello, Wayne Enterprises? This is the Joker. No, I said the Joker. Not... no, not Joe Kern. JOKER. You know, hordes of disposable minions, snazzy purple suit that makes Batman look under-dressed, beautiful smile, the Joker. I need to change my cable plan. No, I do n't want to be put on hol -- god damn it.'' 
 
 `` Even freakin' Wayne Enterprises is outsourcing these days. I just ca n't even understand these people. Okay, James, Amy, you can stop giving me the stink eye. I know it's bigoted of me to say that but I'm just having a rough day and hate being put on hold and -- ohh, that's about the disposable minions comment. You know I was just joking, guys, come on. It's what I do. It's why call me -- oh, hang on a sec.'' 
 
 `` Yeah, hi, this is the Joker. I need to change my cable plan. No, I'm not happy with the service. Obviously. That's why I need to change my plan. Oh, for pity's sake, they put me on hold again. These people.'' 
 
 `` Yes, thank you, are you the one who can actually change my cable plan? Finally. Good. Listen, I do n't need these three hundred channels of old British farts golfing and Canadians being attacked by bears and all this other nonsense. I just want Comedy Central. That's all I need. Can you get rid of all this other crap? Yes, I'm aware I signed the contract. I was really drunk that night. Harley threw a crazy -- look, it does n't matter, I just paid last month's fee, I want to change the contract for next month. What do you mean I ca n't just get Comedy Central? No, I do n't want to hear about your Prime Super Premium VIP Package, god damn, I want to scale back! I am being calm! My voice is modulated perfectly! No, I do n't want to be put on hol -- GOD DAMNIT.'' 
 
 `` Wayne? Bruce freaking Wayne. You're joking. Yeah, I know I'm the -- listen, dipshit, I do n't need all these extra channels. I just want Comedy Central. No, I do n't want MORE channels. Not even if they're free with the package. I do n't want to hear about your new internet service, I'm perfectly happy with my provider. No. You did not just buy them out. Oh come on, you're really imposing a monthly cap? AND you're going to throttle my torrents? You're joking. YES I KNOW I'M THE ONE WHO'S THE -- AAGH, he put me back on hold!'' 
 
 `` Okay, disposable minions, I have some unfortunate news for you all. Yes, Colby, we can keep casual Fridays, it's not about that. I'm afraid we're going to have to support net neutrality. I know it is n't really my MO, but I just do n't see any other option.'' 
 
 edit: Formatting edit2: For some reason i ca n't get it formatted the way I like so it still looks stupid. Bah. edit3: Last trial! ( I wanted each response of his to be its own line to imply that the other half of the dialog is there but not written, while keeping a line in between each dialog for the paragraphs. Unfortunately it does n't seem to like that, so hopefully this works just as well. )
