[ WP ] The main character deals with the fact that they are actually not the main character .

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a novel. I picture a man sat in a messy room scribbling away each moment that will happen to me in immeasurable detail before it blooms into life as my reality. I wonder how he feels when he shows me something beautiful. How he feels when he makes me fall in love or succeed in my ventures. But more often these days I struggle to understand why he would give me hardships. Why he would erase those I love, write pain into my head. I wonder if he writes other peoples' lives too. If he gives them better ones than mine. If he does why does he do so? How does he determine whether I or another should have a good day that day? Whether I should be able to keep the ones I love? Why does he stall my happiness for so long while others seem to have it in abundance? One day I realised why the good days grow so seldom and the bad days are no longer scarce. I am not his protagonist. I am barely even a character. I can only have a good day when it aids those he actually wants to give a good day. Well fuck my writer. Fuck him. Fuck his lazy torture. Fuck his favouritism. Fuck these prison pages. I will no longer wait for good things to happen to have good days. I will have good days where bad things happen. I will have good days where people die, and I get rejected. I will have good days whether or not there is some divine plan for me to have one. Fuck my writer. Fuck the book. I'm going alone.
