[ WP ] You are a brilliant Med School student who uses extensive knowledge on the human body to win street fights for money to pay for tuition . One night you face your most difficult opponent : a Physics major

It all started when I was $ 100k in debt during my second year of medical school. You don ’ t realize how demoralizing that is until you pass into six figures of debt. That was when I realized I had the skills and training needed through my classes to beat the snot out of all these punks in street fights. Not a single one of them could possibly tell the difference between the flexor pollicis longus and the flexor hallucis longus ( Hint: one ’ s in the hand the other ’ s in the foot ), much less know how to properly fight someone. 
 Since starting to fight, I was now in the mid $ 50k of my debt, but there were more loans that were about to come in September. Why did I have to go to a private school as a middling member of the class without any scholarships? On top of that, I was just starting my third year, which meant gone were the days of sitting in lectures and having time at night to fight. Now I was starting to grapple with being in the hospital up to 16 hours a day, 6 days a week ( yay for those 80 hour maximum workweeks ) doing the impossible task of trying to look good to attendings, residents, and the entire medical community at the expense of the patients sometimes. Working so hard and then going to these street fights was really cutting in on the six hours of sleep I could physically get between being in the hospital, coming back from the hospital, and the human tasks of living ( like showering ). Somehow I had managed to work out a deal such that I could get to fights at least once a week, right before my one day off, but that meant that my debt was going to sure eke its way above the $ 100k mark again this year. 
 
 That evening I was coming off an afternoon of getting mightily pimped about everything from the branches of the celiac artery to what sort of prophylaxis should be given after blood exposure of someone who is HIV positive, but it was about time for me to go back to something I truly enjoyed. Making the money that would keep me from feeling the insurmountable loans that were all around me. What I did not know was that I was coming against someone who knew more about the human body in a different way. I might have known what could go wrong and how to fix it. My opponent though knew how to make it all go wrong in the first place. 
 Neither of us looked like much. We were both skinny twenty-something men that appeared to spend too much time on computers. I could see the extra pressure he was putting on his cervical vertebrae from poor posture. His SCM looked so overdeveloped my testing for CNXII might break my hand. On top of that, I could see him stretching out his hands before the fight began, and I bet he would have had a positive Tinel ’ s Test and probably a Phalen ’ s test that went positive at 30 seconds. We were both examining each other to the point where neither of us heard the bell to begin. Once that happened, both of us could not move for a few seconds, largely because we recognized each other. He had been in one of my classes in undergraduate as a TA. Which class was that? Oh, physics for non-physics majors. Shit! 
 He came at me with a series of kicks that all seemed to go after knees, a weak point in my body in the first place, as well as fulcrum that sure could bring me to the ground. He was also coming from the side, trying to get at the “ Terrible Triad ” of the medial meniscus, MCL, and ACL all getting torn at once. That was all I could think about with these kicks while he was thinking about using the right amount of force to destabilize me. His punches came next, but I was just dodging them sporadically. I wanted to get him close enough to one of the wooden sides. That did happen, and he punched the wall so hard I could hear the bones breaking. A boxer with a boxer ’ s fracture, that ’ s something you don ’ t see all that common. 
 This fight was going nowhere, so it was time for me to finish this. So long as I knocked him out, I would win some of the money. That was when I remembered something about our lectures. He was deathly afraid of blood. I even remembered one incident during a lab. A sly smile came across my face as I got my nails ready to dig into his leg. I swiped enough to draw blood. As soon as my old TA saw his own blood, he had a syncopal episode. He just vasovagal-ed in front of my eyes. That is what happens when you pit a physics graduate student against a med student. Someone ’ s going to faint, and it ’ s not going to be me.
