[ WP ] The narrator has a huge crush on the protagonist . It 's really starting to creep the protagonist out .

*It was a warm summer day in the town of Micro. The name came about because of all the high-tech industries which set up business in the area. Our story begins outside a suburban home, just as Alice was locking the front-door. She was a dark haired girl with deep blue eyes and lips worth kissing twice - just ask Bob. At the end of their date last week, she gave him a small peck on the lips, but it wasn ’ t enough for him. He grabbed her by the waist and sucked her lips **hard**. * 
 
 *This had nothing to do with the fact that she was wearing orange-flavoured lipstick that night, or that Bob had an orange-fetish... Probably. * 
 
 *Getting back to our story, a frown was slowly creeping up her face as Alice pulled out her cellphone. To the uninitiated, it looked like a very old flip model. The type you had to snap out to reveal the keypad and enter a phone number. Which is exactly what Alice was doing. * 
 
 “ Hello? Is this Detective Brown from the police department? It ’ s me, Alice Bloomberg. … yes, he ’ s back. … no, I ’ m not sure … but it ’ s really troublesome! You ’ ve got to do something!.. The IT department can help?.. you sure? … Al-right, I ’ ll coming over right now. ” 
 
 *Snapping shut her phone, Alice began to walk down the path towards her car. Hmm.. what ’ s that? Oh! You wanted to know more about her phone? It ’ s just a very old flip model. … Probably. * 
 
 > SCENE CHANGE - POLICE DEPARTMENT 
 
 *Alice was frowning as she sat on the cushion chair across the table from Detective Brown. The way her legs crossed over each other lent a certain attractive vibe to the lower parts of her body. * 
 
 “ And now he ’ s talking about my legs! This is harassment!! ” 
 
 *Detective Brown looked like the kind of guy who was tired of hearing the same story for over a hundred times. Letting out a long sigh, he adjusted the square glasses on his nose and replied, * 
 
 “ Ms. Bloomberg, we ’ ve been over this before. Due to reasons I don ’ t care about, you ’ ve become a central character in a story. That means an omniscient narrator is going to be around you, describing things you are upto. ” 
 
 *The response did not please Alice who squeezed her left hand into a fist and slammed it over the detective ’ s table. * 
 
 “ Omniscient or not, this guy can not be allowed to talk as if I don ’ t know he ’ s there! ” *she yelled, taking deep breaths. It caused her chest to move just enough for a ray of sunlight coming from the open window to illuminate the space between her breasts. * 
 
 “ He just keeps talking about my body! This isn ’ t a story! It ’ s some weirdo with a sick fetish! ” 
 
 *The detective wearily rubs his forehead wondering how this would lead to a homicide. Alice had told the police department that death would be coming - between the Police Chief personally investigating his favorite missing donut shop and Sebastian, his partner getting locked up for a minor case of eve-teasing ( or was it stripping? the handwriting was difficult to read… ) Ms.Bloomberg ’ s case ended up on his table. * 
 
 “ Listen Miss, we already have restrictions in place to prevent the narrator from seeing you in your own home - it ’ s a private location. The law was on your side. But outside? We can ’ t restrict the guy from public areas. And besides, don ’ t you think it would be nice to become someone ’ s heroine? ” 
 
 “ A heroine is fine. But not a fetish heroine!!! ” 
 
 *Brown blinked a few times on hearing this. He wondered if there were other types of heroines, but on seeing the look on Alice ’ s face, he decided not to ask. Alice, deciding that the conversation was going too off-course, decided to bring it back on track by asking, * 
 
 “ You said the IT department might be able to help. How can I contact them? ” 
 
 *In response, Brown picked up the phone and dialed a number. He set the device on speaker to hear an irish voice saying, * 
 
 “ Hello. This is IT. ” 
 
 “ This is Detective Brown. I ’ ve got Ms. Bloomberg here with me having an omniscient issue. Can you please help her? ” 
 
 “ Have you tried turning it off and on again? ” 
 
 *Brown ’ s eyes lit up when he heard this. Terminating the phone connection he asked Alice, * 
 
 “ That ’ s a good point. Have you tried that? ” 
 
 *Alice looked at him as if he had grown a second head and was speaking nonsense ( which he most certainly was! ). * 
 
 “ What? ” 
 
 “ Have you tried turning the narrator off? Wait don ’ t answer that - just listen to me. According to the unwritten rules of the metaverse, if you ’ ve got a narrator following you around, that means he ’ s typing the story somewhere. Probably on a computer or laptop or something. And since you can hear his thoughts, you should also be able to access the browser windows on his computer. Just turn them off. ” 
 
 “ This is the most ridiculous thing I ’ ve ever heard! ” *replied Alice, very, very, very clearly sure that this was an impossible idea, with no basis in fact or life and would never work. She instead raised her right hand high, to give us all a good view of her backside -* 
 
 “ Like this? ” 
 
 **THE END** 
 
 -chronodekar 
 

