[ WP ] A day in the life of the person in the mirror

Fuck him. Fuck. Him. *Fuck him*. 
 
 Look at him, with his ridiculous tie. That boring suit. Staring at every strand of his haircut. IT DOESN ’ T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE MOTHERFUCKER! Every time you run your hand through your hair it looks EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME. That pimple on your chin is *no* fucking worse than it was three minutes ago, you do look older than you did last year, and that purple baggage under your eyelids is a HANGOVER, YOU MORON. 
 
 He ’ s such a cunt. Every day I have to look at this asshole. Five solid minutes. Watch him gurning into his razor with a santa claus shaving beard. Watch him pluck his fucking nose hair and jam a toothbrush into his face. Watch him pare his fingernails and exfoliate like a little bitch. 
 
 What I would give to be able to reach through the glass and smack his head against the porcelain. Peace and quiet, motherfucker. No more watching you shake your johnson after pissing, no more *Singing in the rain* in the shower, no more furious, depressing drunk-wanks at night. If only I, if only I could take his place. But there he is. Picking his teeth. About to leave. And I have nothing. 

