[ WP ] Satan is going through a mid-life crisis .

`` Sir?'' Azazel timidly popped his horned head into the lush, polished office. Satan took notice and looked up from his coloring book. 
 
 `` Yes Azazel?'' 
 
 `` Oh, uh, mamm?'' 
 
 `` Please Azazel, one is not so formal with a child...'' 
 
 Azazel's cloven feet clopped nervously has he shifted his weight. Satan had resumed coloring, wearing down a black crayon with large, waxy, loops. Azazel cleared his throat. 
 
 `` What should I...? I um...'' Satan sighed a heavy sigh and switched to a sharp red crayon. 
 
 `` Miss will be fine. Now spit it out Azazel.'' 
 
 `` Oh, yes, uh... Miss. The horsemen are here to discuss the scheduling of the apocalypse. Death insists on the next five years but War is concerned it will cut into the profits coming from the middle east and...'' 
 
 Satan swayed her feet so her bright, white, patent leather shoes caught the gleam of the surrounding hell fire. 
 `` I do n't want to go to a boring old meeting. Send them away Azazel.'' 
 
 `` But sir!'' 
 
 Satan slammed her fists on the gleaming desk she worked on, crayons rolled haphazardly to the floor. Azazel flinched and tugged at his tie. 
 
 `` But, Miss, the meeting with the horsemen has been delayed over a millennium already. They will not be easily turned away.'' 
 
 `` No! No, no, no! I do n't want to!'' Satan screamed and tore at her perfectly curled pigtails. The hell fire blazed brighter and a moan of the collected tormented shook the room. Azazel rolled his eyes and with a defeated sigh and closed the door of Satan's office behind him with a firm click. 
 
 `` Sir. Is this about your anniversary?'' 
 
 Satan's tantrum came to a halt. Smoothing out the ruffles of her dress, she avoided Azazel's patient stare. 
 
 `` I have no idea what you're talking about.'' 
 
 `` Sir, this is the third transformation in a week, each shell younger then the one before. The 1000th anniversary of your fall is right around the corner and... well, I understand if you are having some, difficulty, with it...'' 
 
 `` You do n't understand anything! What are you Azazel? A couple hundred years old? I was around before there was time! Before the humans, before anything! I tried to make a deal last week...'' 
 
 `` Oh sir... you didnt....'' 
 
 `` I did! I could n't even get the welp to look up from his phone let alone make a deal! I've lost it Azazel! I've been out of the field too long!'' 
 
 `` No, sir, you are above deals. Remember? You're not some demon looking to earn his pitchfork. You're the fallen star! The master general! The one who will lead us on the march on the throne! You are... experienced!'' 
 
 `` Out of date.'' 
 
 `` Seasoned?'' 
 
 `` Old! Old! Old and forgotten Azazel! Old!'' Satan jumped down from the over sized, plush office chair and threw herself on a near by love seat. Azazel took a few timid steps towards the wailing child. 
 
 `` Sir, I mean, Miss? You know what I think? I think an attempt at the apocalypse is just what you need right now. Shake off some of the rust. And remind the troops, and yourself, of the marvelous things you are still capable of.'' Satan raised her pouting face to Azazel, who was ready with a red silk handkerchief to wipe away her black, sticky tears. 
 
 `` You think so?'' 
 
 `` I do. And if I know the holy father, like I know I do; he will be willing to put up quite a battle for earth.'' 
 
 Satan thought for a somber moment, then nodded. Sniffling and trying to dry her rosey cheeks. 
 
 `` Now, how about we meet with those horsemen?'' 
 
 `` Can we get ice cream on the way to them Azazel?'' 
 
 `` Of course Sir.'' 
 
 EDIT: formatting
