[ EU ] The Dragonborn suddenly appears in Westeros .

Littlefinger sat at his desk in the main chamber of the Eyrie. Scrolls and books littered the table in front of him, a disorganized mess of wishful thinking and false hopes. On top of the pile sat the letter that had brought him to his near manic state. As a man who thrived on chaos, the arrival of `` the Screamer'' had seemed an entirely new opportunity to grab more influence. He never could have predicted that within a month he would have brought peace to the North, destroyed the brigands roaming the country, and bedded Margery Tyrell. This most recent letter indicated he had found and adopted Arya Stark, joined the Faceless Ones and subsequently became their leader, and brought the Targaryen bitch back to Westeros after evidently bedding her as well. 
 
 `` How the fuck does this even happen?'' Littlefinger said with a sigh. 
 
 From around the corner Sansa Stark stepped into tbe chamber. `` Lord Baelish!'' She said excitedly. `` Have you heard the news!? The Screamer just used some kind of spell to launch Queen Cersei from one end of Kings Landing to the other! They say he called her a bloated cow before he yelled the spell.'' 
 
 Littlefinger let his head fall and hit the desk. That was it. He was the last thorn in the Screamers side. He knew he was next. The only thing that offered relief was the security of the Eyrie. Let the monster try to take it. 
 
 A guard rushed into the room and interuppted Littlefinger's musings. `` My lord! The Screamer is at the inner courtyard!'' 
 
 Petyr stared blankly at the man before him. `` If this is a joke I will personally castrate you... how could the Screamer have gotten up the mountain without passing the waycastles!?'' 
 
 The guard looked down and seemed perplexed. `` Well sir, he... uh... well he rode his horse up the sheer side of mountain.'' 
 
... 
 
 `` It's like the steed's legs were noodles sir, he road back and forth until he reached the peak!'' 
 
 Just then a thunderous blast rocked the castle and the main doors fell inward. As the dust cleared a lone figure stood in the door frame. Behind him was pure carnage. The castle guard had been utterly destroyed by this one man. He stepped into the hall a smaller shadow moved behind him. 
 
 Tyrion Lannister walked in behind the Screamer and approached the center of the room. `` And this is the bitch I was telling you about. He got a lot of good men killed. Not to mention kidnapped my wife.'' He said with a grin. He looked over at Sansa who stared on in shock. He waved to her with a grin on his face. `` Hello, dear! I'm afraid I'm seeking an anullment for our relationship which this man has offered to give me,'' he said, pointing over his shoulder at death incarnate standing in the chamber. 
 
 Littlfinger stared in shock. All his planning, everything he had worked for was coming to an end. He stood to run and was promptly sent spinning through the air as the force of some word lifted him off hos feet. He crashed into a wall and slid down with a high pitched groan escaping his lips. Bones had been broken. 
 
 As he tried to take his feet, Tyrion approached and kicked him back onto his back. 
 
 `` You know I got to stay here once, because of you and that idiot, Catelyn. I think you would like the cells here Petyr, have you visited them?'' 
 
 `` I'm defeated dwarf, let me stand,'' Littlefinger said with a grimace. He stumbled to his feet and looked across the room at the Screamer, who in turn was giving an appreciative look at Sansa. This man was a whore to be certain. Petyr did his best to stand straight and looked down at Tyrion. `` I am brought low by some idiot with strange powers and an inexplicable noodle horse. I do n't even want to live in a world that makes no sense. End me dwarf.'' 
 
 Tyrion laughed at Littlefinger and kicked him hard in the shin. His very broken shin. Littlefinger went down screaming and Tyrion stood over him. `` Afraid not, old friend. A few Bravosi bankers would like a word with you, you set sail tomorrow.'' 
 
 And so it came to pass that a mysterious stranger defeated all of the villains of Westeros. He became king of the land and took the 3 fairest maidens as his brides. He fathered 37 children. Tyrion inherited Littlefinger's empire of whores and grew old and happy, he fathered 126 children. He and Jaime made up and Jaime continued to serve the Kingsguard for many years. 
 
 Jon Snow settled into living and ruling Winterfell after being reunited with his brothers and sister. Evidently the Screamer had purged what he called `` draugr'' from the face of the world. 
 
 The Screamer grew old and happy and his kingdom prospered. Peace had finally come to Westeros.
