[ WP ] Reading books is illegal , and libraries are run like brothels . Describe borrowing and reading a book like a sexual experience .

Of course I've thought about it, I mean everyone has... right? We talked about it a lot that year, fantasized even, but no one, even the ones who bragged and hinted never did it, not really. We were only in high school after all, and it was different for me being a girl. I felt vulnerable just at the dreaming of what it might be like. 
 
 It was halfway through my second year in uni, I was about to turn 21, and the thought had always lingered in the back of my mind, so I decided I would finally do it. I was sick and tired of being the good girl, the virginal princess, even the shy kids whispered about what it was like... I still blushed. 
 
 
 So one night, about 2 am, I pulled on a trench coat and headed to the seedy part of town. I was less afraid now since I was n't a minor anymore, there was no risk of getting my parents arrested for my actions. And after holding in this desire for years, it was almost more of a relief to just get it over with, a sort of release, like how you feel after popping your knuckles. 
 
 
 I left my hair down as I walked along, for peering out of my peripherals while still keeping my glance hidden, it was a busy alley for this hour. I saw the man on the corner where the rumors said he would be, I was half afraid it was a setup, a sting, like how you see on Cops reruns at midnight. I stood next to him at the streetlight, I cleared my throat'Misty night hm?' He eyed me, I must have looked suspicious to him, a new customer and whatnot, but he did n't beat around the bush'Mystery, scifi, romance or horror?' I was surprised he had so many... Squaring my shoulders I was careful not to take too long to respond'Horror, how much?' it was a whisper on my lips, and I was genuinely horrified at this point, every girl is afraid her first time so there was no true fault in how I trembled there before him. He palmed over a small and well worn paperback, I knew it was called that from some dirty pictures back in middle school'Fifty' I passed him the bill and slipped the book into my deep pockets, making my feet move with all my willpower as the crosswalk changed, glowing white and telling me it was all over, I had survived. The entire transaction could n't have been more than 45 seconds, but time stopped until I moved. 
 
 I arrived home, sneaking in quiet as a church mouse, though now I do n't know why I was so shaken, my dorm mate was at her parents house for the weekend, so I could be alone. I shrugged off the coat, it was dripping from the thick fog out, and fell into my bed, holding the spine of it tightly. Not even bothering to turn on my bed tables lamp, and content to read by the glow of my nightlight, that I still kept despite being an adult, turning it over in my hands, running my fingertips down its face. `` A collection of short stories by H.P. Lovecraft' I spoke it low, reverently, and gasped at how beautiful it was. I knew in that moment I would be doing it again, and again for the rest of my life, as I turned to page one; -In the walls of Eryx-, I was a real woman now.
