[ WP ] You are dead , but before you can go on to heaven or hell , you must meet all the people you could 've been .

CONTENT WARNING: SUICIDE 
 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; I could n't take it anymore.. I had ended it all. At least I thought I had, anyway. I was surprised to find myself some place unfamiliar. I remembered the sound of the bullet leaving the chamber, the instant of blinding pain, and then.. I was *here*. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; There was an absense of things to see. It was n't dark. It was n't light. There was nothing before me but a path in the darkness, and a figure stood in my path. With nothing to do but move forward, I approached the figure. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; Before me was a bearded man, in thick robes, shaggy hair that appeared to have gone white with age, in stark contrast of his tanned complexion. He appeared to be reading a book, though I could not see the title of it. He looked up at me, and spoke. The words, I somehow knew, were n't English, but I understood them all the same. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;'' I am Shemayon Keppa,'' He said, `` Welcome to the path. The Gates are ahead.'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;'' Path? Gates? Where am I?'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;'' You have died. You are on the path to your final rest.'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; I sat down heavily. `` I... I'm going to Hell, are n't I?'' I asked, stuttering a bit at first. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;'' That is not for me to decide, but before you are given to one or the other, you must walk forward. You must follow the path. And you must face all that you might have been.'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; I whimpered slightly, cringing at the very idea, `` Sounds like Hell already,'' I said. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;'' Oh? I could think of far worse fates than meeting what might have been,'' said Shemayon. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;'' So could I, to be honest, but seeing what might have been when I have committed suicide promises to be unpleasant,'' I said. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; Shemayon looked down at me, and reached forward with a hand. `` I am sorry to hear that, but it is something we all must face. I faced it when I first died, and I was one of the disciples of Yeshua.'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; I took the proffered hand and he had a surprisingly strong grip, belying his appearance of an old man. He pulled me to my feet and gave me a gentle shove, `` Now. Walk.'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; And I walked. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; I soon came face to face with myself. Just as I was, only with a noose around my neck. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; I shuddered and walked on. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; Next came another me. This one in a bath? I was naked. Blood flowed around my body, like an ethereal aura in red. I then realized this version of me had slit his wrists. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; I retched. I was sure I would have vomited if I was capable of it. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; I continued forward, seeing more versions of myself, all dead by my own hand. I wept as I continued along the path, barely even able to see what I had done to myself with this latest iteration. I collapsed to the ground, unable to continue farther. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; I lost track of how long I lay there praying for my existence to simply end, until I felt someone jostle me. I looked up to see my own smiling face. This was the first version I saw of myself alive. He looked... Normal. He sat down before me, gathered me into his arms as if I were a child, and said, `` Now now, you'll be alright. Shhh...'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;'' How can I possibly be alright? I'm dead, and I have n't even reached Hell and already I'm tormented!'' I screamed at myself. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; He looked at me and shook his head. `` There is something you're not quite understanding yet. Stand up,'' he said, releasing me. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; I got to my feet, shivering, while my doppelgänger held my shoulders and kept me from falling. `` What do n't I understand?'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;'' What's at the end of the path,'' he said. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;'' What is it?'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;'' I ca n't tell you. You have to learn on your own, by walking. I can walk with you for a bit, but this journey is ultimately yours.'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; We walked forward together for a little bit. `` How do you even know?'' I finally inquired, as we walked by my body, washed ashore, apparently after jumping off a nearby bridge. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;'' I'm part of this place,'' he explained. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;'' Any advice?'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;'' Know thyself. That's probably the best advice I can offer you at the moment,'' he answered, as we started passing by living iterations of me. One destitute, unshaven, dressed in rags, his eyes glazed with a vacant grin on his face. Another dressed in a suit, and looking rich, but with a miserable expression on his face. Still another looking exhausted and dressed in a business suit. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; I stared at them and realized I knew them. The transient lived a short life, died quite young due to an accidental overdose. The millionaire made his way to the top, but found his existence empty. The businessman was working himself to death. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;'' It's time for you to go on your own,'' my companion said, `` You should be able to make to the end of the path now, I think.'' He gave me a smile, which I vaguely remembered from a mirror a long time ago, and faded from view. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; I looked down, for a moment, then collected myself, and marched on. More proxies came forward, more flashes of understanding. Another millionaire, this one far happier than the other one, another transient, utterly miserable and cold, dying from frostbite, and a businessman, standing proud of his achievements. A middle class father. A university professor. A bartender. It went on and on. Not all of them were men either. Some were women. When I looked and I knew that some part of my existence felt I was a woman, though it was a small part, given the number women compared to the rest. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; And then there was nothing left. I just stood before a gate. I could not even see it clearly. They opened and Shemayon stepped out of them. `` You made it to the gates. Do you understand now?'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;'' Yes. This path was n't about what could have been. This path was about all that I am.'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; Shemayon nodded, acknowledging my words. `` You are correct. Please, go through the gates, and you will find what is coming to you.'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; I stepped forward, then stopped. `` You helped me on the path, did n't you?'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; Shemayon looked at me, his eyes piercing my soul. `` Your path was a hard one. It always is for one who takes their own life. Now. Please step through the gates.'' 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; I took another step forward. One more step and I would be through the gate. I went through the gate, and stopped just inside. As the gate slammed shut behind me it occurred to me that Shemayon had not answered my question, then I saw nothing... 
 *** 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; A sharp bang issued from the television in front of me. The main character had just executed one of the villains. I looked down at my hand, yelped, and threw the pistol away. I walked over to my phone and picked it up. 
 & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; I stared at it for a long moment, then, almost robotically, I started dialing. `` Hello?'' I said into the phone, `` I need help. I tried to kill myself.''
