[ WP ] Tell me the story of Jeremy Smith , the world 's worst detective .

`` Jeremy for the last time I swear to god'' The voice came from the think Brooklyn accent of Margaret Van Buren, Jeremy's love. His muse. His desire. `` If I catch you out on the tree branch again i'm calling the fucking cops.'' Her eyes were filled with fire, her voice with even more. 
 
 `` But no, this time I have a reason for being entrenched upon your branch!'' Jeremy exclaimed, holding his fedora close to his brown mop of hair. `` It's for a case!'' 
 
 `` A case Jeremy? Are you fucking serious? We both know my dad kicked you off the force a year ago for voyeuristic purposes.'' 
 
 `` Say what you will, Margaret my love, but those purposes were very useful!'' 
 
 `` Starin at old men in their tighty whities is n't useful, it's creepy and illegal, and I'm calling the cops.'' She moved elegantly towards the phone in her bedroom, but Jeremy made his way across the branch and exclaimed. 
 
 `` Wait! My case, you never let me tell you what it is!'' At this remark, Margaret turned to him, and stared daggers into his soul. 
 
 `` Okay Jeremy,'' she let out that lovely sigh she was known to let out. `` what's the big case.'' 
 
 `` I was hired by a forlorn man you see. He came to me one day in the rain. He burst into my office and demanded one thing! That I find a way into the most secure place in the world.'' 
 
 `` What, the fucking pentagon?'' 
 
 `` No my love,'' he stared deeply into her eyes. `` you see, the man was I, and the place. Is your heart.'' 
 
 Margaret picked up the phone and called the cops, Jeremy Smith was caught 10 minutes later hiding in a dumpster near Margaret's house. He was charged with voyeurism and sentenced one year to prison.
