[ WP ] Upon graduation from the University of Magic , each student is allowed to take one tome from the Arcane Library which immediately bestows all its knowledge onto the owner . You discover a tome that seems to have been overlooked .

By the fabulous gray beard hairs of Dumbledore, was I running fucking late. It was n't my fault, I was held up at graduation. My parents wanted to congratulate me. My aunt was there. She would n't stop pinching my cheeks until literal roses popped out of them. Now what was there going to be left at the library. 
 
 One book. That's all we get. One book. 
 
 Ultimate knowledge, in any field of your choosing! Sure, studying at the University of Magic had it's merits and all. But what you studied did n't matter at all. After all, my own degree was a focus on the psychology of mythical creatures. No one gives a shit of what your degree is though. We all chose this school because of the library. 
 
 Any book. Any subject. Textbooks all around. You're allowed to select one tome and instantly become a master of the arts. One of my dorm mates said they were thinking about joining the police force after this. They were going to try to nab a text on the fighting arts. My other mate was grabbing a book on engineering. He said that technology at at certain point was indistinguishable from magic. He could enter the human field and find ways of spreading magic all over the world. 
 
 As for me? I have no fucking clue. 
 
 Four years to figure out something. What was I going to do with my life? I spent high school buried in Harry Potter books, thinking that it was just a bunch of bullshit. If only our classes were like that. Wingardium levimyassa. The most exciting thing that happened was when the football team turned the janitor into a hamster and shoved him up the quarterback's rectum. It took a week to get him out. He was apparently quite comfortable there and needed encouragement to leave. 
 
 Somehow I got off topic. Let's just say I put off this choice for a long time and now I felt screwed. The mob had already left the library once I got there. Tomes were tossed left and right. Papers ripped forth from their ancient bindings and laying tattered along the ground. Hey, that did n't sound to bad. Maybe I should find a book about being a writer? No, no. Concentrate. To the forbidden texts section! 
 
 It took me some time to answer the guardian skull's ridden. Whoever heard of a river having a mouth? I dashing inside and found... Nothing. Bastards must have looted this place first. They even took the complete works of the Kama Sutra! Who does that? Nice to know that we matured during our time at UoM. 
 
 Everything was gone. Temporarily at least. At the start of next school year, the books would have replenished themselves for the droves of new students coming in. But I ai n't got time for that. I need a job because of my student loan debt. So I made my way to the mundane texts. Hell, I heard chemistry pays well. I even saw a documentary about it. Well, most of a documentary about it. I never finished it, but that chemistry teacher had a dragon's den worth of cash. That has to be the way to go, right? 
 
 But apparently someone else had thought to come here first. Nothing, nothing, and more nothing. Falling to the ground in a fit of despair, my knee hits the spine of a hard cover book that had been misplaced. Quickly, and in a very manly fashion, I roll off to the side with a testosterone filled squeal spill out out of my lips. Clutching my wound, I hissed, eyeing the source of my despair with disdain. 
 
 That's when I saw it, in all of it's glory. It was an older book with some sort of smug looking troll on the cover. I picked it up, careful to not open it in fear that this would be my chosen book. Skimming over the texts on the back, I knew it. This was it. This is the future I wanted for myself. 
 
 The Art of the Deal, by Donald Trump. 
 
 I was going to be America's first wizard president. And apparently all I need to do to get started was to get a small loan of a million dollars.
