[ WP ] Write about Ted the Accountant 's life before he died and ended up in Valhalla

History is one man using a rock to cave in the skull of another for all eternity. War is that rock. Numbers are how big a rock and how hard a swing. When one masters the numbers, one masters history. 
 
 This should come as no surprise. Men, material, location and goal; all are numbers on a page at some point. The fall of empire has been heralded as much by the click of a pen as the step of a soldier ’ s boot. 
 
 Some think that to master the art of numbers they must abandon the hotter passions. Lust, greed, hatred and fury must all be cast aside for the cooler tempers to prevail. Only then will the numbers align nicely and slot into their rightful places. This is true for nearly all. I must say nearly, solely for the existence of one man. 
 
 The less said of Ted the better. The Legends told of beast and man of Ted ’ s caliber do them a great disservice; words can never be more than hollow imitations of those grand titans and their deeds. 
 
 What I will say of Ted is this, when the time came he did more than just fight and kill. A fight implies the possibility of loss, and no such possibility existed for Ted. He ’ d mastered the numbers, you see. Probability was his knife, and he used it deftly. 
 
 He would move with the calm focus of a world class bureaucrat mixed with the insanity inducing rage of a blood drenched berserker. At once white hot; ice cold. He was an inhuman paradox that ended life and balanced budgets with cold, calculating fury. With nothing left to chance, when he saw your end it came for you. 
 
 When the Great War of his time arrived, he fought, both behind the desk and in the mud. He budgeted war efforts, stabilized economies, and watched the bottom line. He crushed skulls, razed cities, and obliterated lineages. Where did he strike the most fear into the hearts of his enemies? Was he more blood soaked when he left the office or climbed out of the trenches? Who ’ s to say? It will be debated by every warrior and clerk until Ragnarök comes and the voices fall silent as they did in Ted ’ s time. He did not lose, but The Last War had no winners. 
 
 So when you ask of Ted, do not seek how and why or where and when, these questions are jealous and scheming. You seek to become Ted and you can not. He and he alone has walked that path. 
 
 Instead, know that Ted simply is. He is the numbers. He is the rock. 

