[ CW ] Start writing a story with these words : `` At first it was shocking , but then it became normal . ''

At first it was shocking, but then it became normal. He told himself as if the sweet lie was enough to smother him to sleep. It was n't. If one can get accustomed to this, they can get accustom to anything. But he ca n't, the fresh thoughts of suicide has always ran in his mind, he always says this will be the last time he will do it, yet it always carries him through, he will feel horrible, there was another side of him that has tempt him many times with the idea of delusions, hiding away what he was doing, coating it in a even sweeter lie, he ca n't stomach it. He will not fall to the level of self-deception, he was a noble being, not just a person that goes around the street in the middle of the night killing and raping anything that moves. 
 
 No one else can take this burden that he carries, only he can do it, he was the chosen one, he knows it was wrong but he wo n't delude himself into thinking whatever he does even slightly resembles good, his selfless hedonistic ideals requires no delusions, when he does it, he do it, no matter how horrible it may look and sound. He did it for his pleasure and the demise of his of his well being afterwards, he, the one and only, sacrificed his well-being for the quickening sense of pleasure. He let the thoughts of suicide run his mind even more, this was what normal people do when they are forced to do whatever he is doing now. Jesus Christ was him. He was Jesus Christ. He increased the pleasure more as he resounded this thought in his head as the dead body empty it's bowel. He was waiting for that. 
 
 It always looks like that they enjoyed it as much as he did. 
 
 ( Messy mind of a serial killer? )
