[ WP ] You are sent on a quest to kill a dragon , but the dragon turns out to be your beloved wife ... .

`` She is the death of man!'' the elder cried out. 
 
 `` Yep, that's Carol,'' I replied. The man shifted in his chair, unamused. 
 
 `` She breathes fire and her heart beats with the rhythm of our bones!'' 
 
 `` Sounds about right,'' I said nonchalantly. 
 
 `` You know of her whereabouts, you must take this more seriously!'' 
 
 I shifted on my feet, `` I've been married to this woman for close to three decades now. You left out the parts where she is stubborn, cross, impossible to deal with, and unable to compromise.'' 
 
 I scanned the room behind me before returning my gaze to the elder, `` you also left out her kindness, her selflessness. Remember the boulder she removed from the mountain pass, even as you placed a bounty on her head? Or the time she pulled the rubble from the school collapse, while your men fired arrows at her?'' 
 
 I paused to let it sink in, `` she was n't eating the children, she was saving them! And goddammit yes she may be a shape-shifting fire-breathing monster from legend, but she's *my* shape-shifting fire-breathing monster, and you'll not get her head!'' 
 
 The elder shifted in his chair, `` sure we will. Guards, seize him!'' 
 
 I struggled for a moment, but gave in to their overwhelming force, `` you're making a huge mistake.'' 
 
 `` The mistake was sending you in the first place. Toss him in the deep cell,'' he said with a flourish of his hand. 
 
 Oh, Carol is gon na be pissed.
