[ WP ] One day , while praying to God ( or another deity ) you get a response ... from his help desk .

It was a day like any other. I got back from work at 5:30pm. I ’ d changed into casual clothes by 5:45. To recharge, I cleaned the house before starting dinner at precisely 6:30. The cooking was finished at 7:05. I sat down to eat, expecting to finish at precisely 7:30. Of course, before I actually began my meal, I said a quick prayer. 
 
 “ Thank you Lord, for this bounty. ” 
 
 I raised my head, but just as I lifted my fork, I heard something strange. 
 
 “ Yea, so then I told her… ” A voice echoed through my head, but it sounded quite far away. I could barely make out what it was saying “ …Seriously!? That girl be trippin ’. ” 
 
 I looked around but there was no one else in the room. Of course there wouldn ’ t be, I lived alone. 
 
 “ Oh-my-boss! There was a call connected this whole time!? ” Now I could hear the voice clearly. Strangely, they sounded like an adolescent girl. “ I ’ m, like, so sorry, sir. Could you please repeat your prayer? ” 
 
 “ Um…what? ” 
 
 “ Like, I ’ m here to listen to your prayers for the big man. So, tell me your prayer, or whatever. ” 
 
 At this point, I was out of my chair. My breathing quickened. 
 
 “ The big man…you mean god, right? ” 
 
 “ I ain ’ t talkin ’ about Santa Claus. ” 
 
 “ Then, he ’ ll hear my prayer!? ” 
 
 “ Yep. ” 
 
 “ Oh, wow, I have so much to say. First, does he remember that time in seventh grade when I- ” 
 
 “ -Ooh, I ’ m going to have to cut you off there. This sounds like a lot of work and I just can ’ t deal right now. ” 
 
 “ What!? ” I shouted, looking like a madman in my empty house. “ Look, I ’ ll be quick, just take my message. ” 
 
 “ Sorry, Tammy ’ s, like, trying to pull me away. It sounds important, sooo… ” 
 
 “ Tell her to wait a minute, I said I ’ ll be quick! ” 
 
 “ Ah, but I totally forgot about my paperwork. I ’ m really busy so I got ta ’ go… ” 
 
 “ What paperwork? You work at a call center. ” 
 
 “ Look, this is, um, actually just a new marketing scheme by Geico. We can, like, save you 15 % or more on car insurance. ” 
 
 “ Do you think I ’ d believe that at this point? ” 
 
 “ Um, maybe you have the wrong number… ” 
 
 “ THE WRONG NUMBER? HOW THE HELL COULD I POSSIBLY HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER!? ” 
 
 “ …Wow. ” 
 
 An uncomfortable silence followed her statement. 
 
 “ …Yea, ok guy, that kind of language was totally uncalled for. I ’ m transferring your call. ” 
 
 “ No, wait! ” 
 
 I heard a familiar *click* and then an ominous ringing filled my head. After a few seconds, that stopped as well. 
 
 *** “ Hello? ” *** A deep and sinister voice entered my mind. 
 
 Before, my head had been full of questions. Now, I only had one. 
 
 *How do I hang up? * 

