[ WP ] You ’ re a supervillain who really just enjoys ruining people 's days . Summon rain on people sitting in the park , waking people up at 3AM using your sonic booms while flying through the air , stuff like that . You ’ re on holiday when a real villain decides to take your city hostage ... You 're furious .

It was a nice Holiday for William, relaxing next to a pool at a luxury resort on some foreign island. It was well deserved, he thought, because screwing people over and ruining people's days really brought you down after a couple months. 
 
 William decided he wanted to go freshen up before he returned to the surrounding town that inhabited the island he was staying on. Once he swiped the card through the door, he entered the room and took his swimming shorts off in a swift movement; now butt naked. 
 
 `` Let's turn on some tunes, shall we?'' He asked out to no one in particular. He grabbed something from the mini bar and downed it in one motion, letting out a refreshed sigh as he walked around the hotel room, gathering his outfit for tonight. Just as he was about to change the channel, the news anchor caught his attention. 
 
 `` We are getting news from the city of Metroland that a notorious villain known as Barbarian has caused quite a stir. Reports are flooding in that his henchmen are taking various buildings hostage and, what I'm understanding, requesting insane amounts of money. To Robert Lullman, anchor of our sister news station in Metroland.'' The red headed woman spoke. William felt a surge of anger roll through him as he grabbed his pants and pulled them on. 
 
 `` Thanks Tiffany. We are being advised that they are trying to break into our building-'' the bulbous anchorman was cut off by a giant man with prehistoric garb on. 
 
 `` Me Barbarian. Me want one billion dollar from land of Metro. Me take hostage now. Give me dollar or you get death,'' and the man signed the cutting of the throat crudely before the news station went blank. William was now furious. How could this buffoon take over *his* city?? The universal news came on and cut to live feed of the henchmen cutting down anyone who tried to run. It made for brutal television. William could n't just sit idly by as Metroland became enslaved by a giant man child and more-compotent-than-him henchmen. 
 
 He had enough. 
 
 William finished getting dressed and then opened up the doors to the balcony of his hotel room. In fast fashion, the mildly-overweight took off in a sonic boom to the sky, trajectory toward Metroland, USA. 
 
 -- -- - 
 Once he entered the city, he could smell the sweet smell of burning buildings and crisp blood. It made him aroused, but he could n't think about that now. William had his mask on, making him anonymous and also making it so his face does n't freeze up in the air. His alias was known as The Jerk. He never had to crack down and actually hurt people, he just liked being a dick. 
 
 Once on the ground, he angrily sulked over to a trembling young police officer, scraped up and bleeding from an obvious fight. 
 
 `` Where is he?!'' Shouted William, grabbing him by the uniform. 
 
 `` W-who?!'' Retorted the rookie, shaking more. 
 
 `` The Barbarian fuck!'' There was no time for a silly back and forth. 
 
 `` I-in the Mayor's off-office!'' 
 
 William did n't need anything more. He stormed off and took off, in flight once again toward the center of the city. Once there, he took out a few of the henchmen that were in his way and blasted open locked doors. He felt like an angry wife, rushing home after she heard word from her snooping neighbor named Karen that her husband was cheating on her with his yoga instructor. Flexible, but useless. 
 No wait. 
 
 Angry and bitter. 
 
 He made it to the office and sure as shit, there the giant man was, sitting in the chair of Mayor Hutch, watching the cameras that viewed the entire city. William punched out a few of the sidekicks and watched as the hostages scampered off, the mayor going along with them. 
 
 `` You big, dense, mother fucking potato.'' William said as the Barbarian stood up; he towered over him by a good foot or so. And William was n't that short, either. 
 
 `` Not good way to talk to me,'' boomed the manbeast. 
 
 `` I do n't give a rats ass what a good way to talk to you is. This is *my* city and you do n't fuck it up. Only I fuck it up,'' William said. 
 
 `` You? Superhero? I shit bigger than tiny puny man,'' Barbarian said as he approached William. 
 
 `` No. Not a superhero. I'm a supervillain, bitch.'' Retorted William, winding up his fist and punching the giant square in the chest. The huge man flew back, hitting against the double pained window with a loud thud. He cracked the bullet proof glass. `` And per Law 17 in section 2 of the first book of Supervillain Conduct, it is against the rules to take hostage or terrorize another supervillain's city unless strictly with permission of said supervillain or with help by said supervillain.'' Read out William, a small compressed book in his gloved hand. `` Looks like you're breaking the rules, thick headed man child.'' He added, cracking his neck as he shoved the book back into his back pocket. 
 
 `` There book? Barbarian no can read,'' murmured the man under his breath. 
 
 `` Well, can you read this?'' Asked William as he landed hard punch after punch, adding in so eloquently: `` Get. Out. Of. My. City. You. Buffoon.'' 
 
 Barbarian held up his hands in surrender, wincing at the raised fist of William. 
 
 `` Barbarian sorry. Please no report to council, Barbarian go home now. Just wanted bigger territory,'' he said, defeated. 
 
 `` Do n't worry about it, big guy. Just learn how to read or you're gon na get fucked over,'' William said as he pulled him up. The Barbarian let out a loud growl-like holler and the henchmen surrounding the area left. 
 
 Just like that, the city of Metroland was under the terror of The Jerk again. 
 
 Except The Jerk had a vacation to finish. 
 
 And off he went, flying back to the undisclosed island where he had a week long stay he planned to finish.
