[ WP ] There is actually a god , but it is unlike any religion 's god .

I lay in my hospital bed, surrounded by my family and friends, I was too weak to speak and barely strong enough to breathe, there were to be no profound final words from me. A cruel joke, terminal cancer in the prime of my life, two months ago I was climbing Mount Killamanjaro, now I was confined to this tiny hospital room. My wife gripped my hand as my heart monitor started to jump like a flea. 
 
 “ James, James! ” I could hear her shouting. It was as if I was drowning, I couldn ’ t take in breath and my wife ’ s voice was becoming muffled. Once I heard the shrill beeeeeeeep of the heart monitor I slipped away, into the darkness. 
 
 Then I woke up in a room. I felt strong again, my heart didn ’ t ache and I could breathe easily. I looked around, I was definitely not in the hospital room any more. The walls were covered in movie posters, literally couldn ’ t see the color of the wall underneath. There was a man facing away from me sat on a sofa and playing a video game. 
 
 “ Hello? ” I said. The man glanced back at me before returning to his videogame. 
 
 “ Oh finally! You took your time. Gim me one second. ” He shot a few guys before pausing and getting up. 
 
 “ Hey there, it ’ s good to finally meet you in the flesh, ” he said. 
 
 “ Who are you? Where am I? ” 
 
 “ Alright, brace yourself. You ’ re dead. ” 
 
 “ And who are you? God? ” 
 
 “ I mean, I guess technically, but you can just call me Jeff. ” 
 
 “ And am I in heaven? ” 
 
 “ Heaven? No way man, Heaven doesn ’ t exist. This is just my pad. ” 
 
 “ So you ’ re not Jehova? ” 
 
 “ Nah, not anything you humans dreamt up. You all really missed the mark. ” 
 
 “ Okay Jeff, I ’ m Andy. ” 
 
 “ Oh I know you Andy, I ’ ve been watching you for a while. ” 
 
 “ You ’ ve been- why? ” 
 
 “ It gets lonely up here all alone, and you seemed pretty cool, so I decided to bring you up here. ” 
 
 “ Wait, the cancer was you? ” 
 
 “ Yeah sorry about that, but death was the only way I could think of to bring you here. ” 
 
 “ But my wife, my whole family. ” 
 
 “ I could have had a bus hit you, at least this way you had time for final farewells. ” 
 
 I was aghast. This manchild had taken me from everyone I loved because he was lonely. 
 
 “ So come on, what do you want to do? I ’ ve got every videogame, literally. What ’ s your favorite CoD? Just kidding, I know its 4, I can read you mind. I promise I won ’ t peek while we play though, I know how much you hate screenwatchers. 

