[ WP ] You wake up naked in the middle of the woods . There 's a trail of blood leading you from the spot you woke up at to some unknown location .

You're walking in the woods. 
 There's no one around, 
 And your phone is dead. 
 Out of the corner of your eye you spot him, 
 Shia Labeouf. 
 
 He's following you 
 About 30 feet back. 
 He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint. 
 He's gaining on you. 
 Shia Labeouf. 
 
 You're looking for your car, 
 But you're all turned around. 
 He's almost upon you now 
 And you can see there's blood on his face! 
 My god, there's blood everywhere! 
 
 Running for your life 
 ( From Shia Labeouf. ) 
 He's brandishing a knife. 
 ( It's Shia Labeouf. ) 
 Lurking in the shadows 
 Hollywood superstar Shia Labeouf. 
 Living in the woods, 
 ( Shia Labeouf. ) 
 Killing for sport, 
 ( Shia Labeouf. ) 
 Eating all the bodies 
 Actual, cannibal Shia Labeouf. 
 
 Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him, 
 But you're hopelessly lost yourself. 
 Stranded with a murderer, 
 You creep silently through the underbrush. 
 A-ha! In the distance, 
 A small cottage with a light on. 
 Hope! 
 You move stealthily toward it, 
 But your leg! AH! It's caught in a bear trap! 
 
 Gnawing off your leg, 
 ( Quiet, quiet. ) 
 Limping toward the cottage, 
 ( Quiet, quiet. ) 
 Now you're on the doorstep, 
 Sitting inside, Shia Labeouf. 
 Sharpening an ax, 
 ( Shia Labeouf. ) 
 But he does n't hear you enter, 
 ( Shia Labeouf. ) 
 You're sneaking up behind him. 
 Strangling superstar Shia Labeouf. 
 Fighting for your life with Shia Labeouf, 
 Wrestling a knife from Shia Labeouf, 
 Stab it in his kidney. 
 Safe at last from Shia Labeouf. 
 
 You limp into the dark woods, 
 Blood oozing from your stump leg. 
 But you have won. 
 You have beaten Shia Labeouf 
 
 [ Actual Cannibal Shia Labeouf ] ( https: //youtu.be/o0u4M6vppCI ) 
 
 I'm so sorry, but I had to.
