[ WP ] You die in a tragic accident . While sitting on a bench in purgatory , Mr/Mrs.Death approaches you and says , `` Pick a game , any game , and if you are the victor , I 'll send you back to the day before the accident . ''

You've got ta be fucking kidding me. Really? Helium? All I wanted was to sound hilarious for a minute, I did n't think you could actually die from it. Here I am on this bench with a number in my hand waiting to speak to Death and I could n't be more pissed off. I have to get a do over on this. This is ridiculous. What will my mother tell people? Even the kid sitting next to me with the legos in his throat is looking at me like I'm a retard. And I have to agree. Where's Darwin in the afterlife, I'd like to shake his hand to congratulate him on being right. 
 
 Then my number is called. I get up and head into the office, reciting my case for why I should be allowed to respawn in my head. I shut the door behind me, turn around, and see a handsome man in a white tuxedo smiling at me like a mob boss, evil and amused. Great. 
 
 I sit down in the cushy red chair across from him. I get ready to start making my case when he says something first, `` Pick a game, and if you are the victor, I'll send you back to the day before the accident.'' 
 
 I stare in shock. Seriously? It's that easy? I feel really moronic when I ask, `` Why?'' He just laughs and continues to stare at me. My brain starts to race. What game am I good at? I suck at chess, do n't even talk to me about fucking Monopoly... Then it hits me. 
 
 `` ANY game?'' I ask. 
 
 `` Any game.'' He says. 
 
 `` Then I choose Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time for the N64.'' 
 
 He sits up in his seat, aggravated. `` What?'' 
 
 `` You said pick any game, and if I win, I get a do over, right? So I choose Ocarina of Time.'' 
 
 
 He scowls heavily. `` That's not what I meant.'' 
 
 `` Ah, but that's what you said. Semantics, guy. If I beat the game, I win, right?'' 
 
 He's furious. `` I know for a fact you've beaten that game over 100 times.'' 
 
 `` Well then I guess you do n't have to watch me do it again do you?'' 
 
 He laughs. `` You know, if were less generous, I'd send you downstairs right now, but fortunately for you, I like how clever you are and I've met my quota for the week, so-'' 
 
 FLASH. I wake up in my bed. I look at my phone. February 17th. Oh thank Christ. Alright, no more helium ever again. Got it. I get out of bed, triumphant. Thank you, Link. I move to my dresser when suddenly, I trip over one of my shoes and plant head first into my metal desk. BOOM. I open my eyes. I'm sitting on the bench again next to the kid with the throat legos. FUCK.
