[ WP ] Tell me the story of a psychopath hamster .

I do n't know what it is about kids man, one moment they ca n't go for a shit without you counting to thirty four, the next day they tell you that they want to and can look after a pet. 
 
 To be honest, I felt like my son Nate could do with a dose of responsibility. I mean he once got hold of a squirrel and managed to break his neck with his own hands somehow, imagine that? 
 
 So, I thought if he had something of his own to care for maybe that would do him some good. 
 
 Initially he asked for a snake or a spider. I told him that they were too dangerous, even if they were defanged, I just was n't comfortable with an animal who has the natural, ancient urges to kill. 
 
 We eventually settled on a couple of Hamsters. I know it's kind of staple but you have to stick with convention sometimes and they were relatively inexpensive. 
 
 We also did bought a miniature town for them to live in. Complete with purple tubes, a hamster roller disco and a hamster penthouse. That was relatively hamster expensive. 
 
 The hamsters were pretty damn cute, you know? Nate called them Chester and Cheesy and they never left each other alone. We would see them in the hamster park, at the hamster swimming pool. They even went together to the hamster polling station, just so damn cute. 
 
 Before long we noticed that Cheesy was gaining quite a bit of weight. We laughed that perhaps he had too much hamster ice cream. Sure enough we found out that actually Cheesy was a she and had a whole litter of cute babies, it was amazing. 
 
 But then everything changed... 
 
 One night I was just about to put Chester into a rollerball for a run around the dining room and I noticed that there was n't much movement coming from the hamster house. Curiously I popped open the roof to discover that the dead bodies of Chester's family were inside. 
 
 I think I must've immediately gagged at the sight of the scene. Anyways, I called Nate into the room to reprehend him what he had done. 
 
 I did n't know why he had committed hamster genocide, or what was the purpose of arranging the corpses into a pentagram but when I asked him, well, he had nothing to say for himself.'Thinking about it he did n't seem all that upset. What was oddest thing though was when he asked about Chester, I told him that he was fine and showed him the rollerball with Chester inside, my little boy burst into tears, I just did n't get it. 
 
 That night after I had cleared up the mess and my wife Polly had come back from work. I took Chester and the ball with us to bed for his own protection. I had to talk to Polly to figure out what to do about our child's behaviour and if we should talk to a doctor. 
 
 We decided that professional help would be the best course and went to sleep. I had put Chester in his rollerball on the inside the draw of my bedside table, just incase Nate tried anything weird. 
 
 You know, I did n't really get to rest all that much. My mind was ablaze with all kinds of strange thoughts, I thought that I heard scraping and scuttling under our bed. I considered that Nate was trying to pull something but I resolved that no human could move in that way, peculiar dreams. 
 
 So it was Thursday morning and my alarm went off at 7am, an our later than usual. As I had started to find the snooze button my hand went inside Chester's rollerball. Inside, ok the lid was popped, so where did Chester go? I launched myself out of bed and immediately made for Nate's room. He was sleeping peacefully with a smile on his face. I found it awfully creepy. How could my own flesh and blood be a callous monster? 
 
 NO... I shook myself out of it, he just needs help and today we will get him what he needs. I will take him with Polly at lunch. There was no sign of Chester anywhere in the house so I started to search for the little fella all around, as I was getting myself ready for work. 
 
 When I got to the kitchen something worse then any nightmare I could dream up was occurring. My wife Polly was lying under the our table spread out on the floor with electrical tape over her mouth and her wrists and ankles tied to or four legs of the furniture. She was n't moving. I rushed under the table and ripped off the tape causing her mouth to burst open with blood, oh my god, completely unconscious, but she was breathing. 
 
 I untied her as quickly as possible and slid her out from under the furniture, just as I had managed to wake her up the table collapse on itself. At the appropriate moment I inspected the table legs, they had been gnawed almost down to thin sticks. The table top itself is incredibly heavy, it would have almost certainly have killed Polly by crushing her if I had n't had got there in time. 
 
 I could n't understand why Nate would spend so much time chomping down on wood to orchestrate a murder of his own mother. This kid has some real problems. 
 
 We did n't go to the police but instead we called child services and explained the situation, they took him away where he could n't be a danger to anyone again. 
 
 A week or two after we had Nate start his journey I found Chester again in the kitchen drawer. The one with all the knives. I'm glad I found him, those sharp things can be so dangerous. 
 
 I do n't regret buying the hamsters in the end. After all if we had n't I think that we would not have seen the full the extent of Nate's tendencies until the very worst thing possible could have happened. 
 
 Chester pretty damn cute, you know? I think we'll keep him around until the end. 
 
 
 
 
 
 

