[ WP ] In the future earth has met numerous alien civilizations , all of them evolved as herbivores . Humanity 's evolution and history makes diplomacy interesting .

I flashed a smile at the ambassador from Wolf-1061, or as they called it, unintelligible chittering. The name of it was impossible to pronounce, even with our translators on. With my canines exposed the lanky orange alien fought to retain his composure, he had been pissing me off with his objections all morning. 
 
 Kril-Thavk, had been attempting to convince the High Council that humans were mindless carnivores and should be leashed heavily by the Galactic Union. While most of the council saw him as a ridiculous extremist, some of them were afraid enough of being eaten to consider it. 
 
 Mjorgral, a voluminous alien that appeared to be made out of mostly dandelion fluff regarded me with his barely visible plethora of eyes. 
 
 `` Ambassador Roch. You have a rebuttal I am certain?'' It's wind like cooing was changed into blaring, monotone robotic in my ear, and I fought the urge to wince. 
 
 I cleared my throat and stacked my notes, turning to smile a close-lipped greeting to everyone. My diminutive stature and wide, childlike face made me very non-threatening, the fact that I was female worked heavily against me however. 
 
 `` Of course. My esteemed Council. These accusations are founded on ignorance.'' The claim was severe, and there were several gasps from around the room. 
 
 I moved to continue, my mouth struggling to form the foreign words. 
 
 `` Kril-Thavk has never been to Earth, much less actually conversed with a human other than myself. Even then he has made no real effort to learn anything of my planet.'' He was seething at me, ignorance was a heavy insult, 
 
 `` If he had, council members, he would have discovered that, firstly, we as a species are considered omnivorous, our diet actually consists mostly of plant based products. Secondly, most of our meat is grown in labs. It is only the very remote areas of our world that do n't have access to this less expensive alternative. Meaning, by and large we no longer raise any creatures for consumption. And thirdly, we as humans tend to avoid eating things that can speak to us.'' There were genuine chuckles at my joke and I smiled another tight smile, hiding my teeth. 
 
 `` Can you prove this?'' G'yrthop, a being that resembled a gnarled tree stump spoke from it's position beside Mjorgal, I assumed it was female. 
 
 `` Absolutely.'' With slow, deliberate movements I approached the council, handing them the large stack of invoices, and photographs. Their paws and tentacles, tendrils and nubs, flipped through the papers, openly marveling at the lushness of Earth. 
 
 `` A great number of us do n't even eat any meat or products that WOULD be produced by other creatures.'' There were murmurs of approval from around the chamber, I thought Kril-Thavk was going to implode. 
 
 `` RIDICULOUS!'' And there it was. `` The human obviously lies. Also! It said that MOST of their meat is grown in labs. That means they are still committing MURDER. THEY.MUST.BE.CONTROLLED!!!'' His thin neck was bulging and turning an unattractive shade of yellow. 
 
 Mjorgal began to shake violently and a loud shriek silenced the room that had filled with murmurs and yelling. 
 
 `` Miss Roch, your reply?'' I sneered at Kril-Thavk and he immediately deflated, his five eyes dilating in fear. 
 
 `` It's true, there are some very remote parts of my planet that still eat meat harvested from living creatures. However, without this, those humans would become malnourished and eventually die. We require a great amount of protein to function. I know it is a great abhorrence to you all, but we need it to survive.'' G'yrthop reached for the additional stack of papers I presented. These contained the biological information of most farm animals, and humans, as well as the census information on the individuals who still consumed living meat. 
 
 The council seemed satisfied, and grouped up into a rainbow amalgamation out of a Dr. Seuss book. 
 
 `` Ambassador Roch, you have pleaded your case quite eloquently, and we have decided to grant Humanity equivalent rights among the Galactic Union. However, we would appreciate it if your government could take steps to introduce this `` Laboratory Meat'' to your less familiar citizens. The death of any creature is indeed horrendous to us, and in most cases a crime.'' I bowed to them deeply. 
 
 `` Of course High Council, I will send the directive immediately.'' It was indeed a great honor to be welcomed into the high governmental system within the galaxy. And their demands were quite small in comparison to what I had been expecting. 
 
 `` And Kril-Thavk.'' The tall orange alien stiffened at his name, he had been actively glowering at me. 
 
 `` Y-yes High Council?'' He bowed as deeply as he could, folding in on himself multiple times, the sound it made was gross. 
 
 `` We have also decided that you are to be the council's ambassador to Earth. Maybe in your time there, you can learn to be more tolerant.'' 
 
 Kril-Thavk's face went from a bright, sunny orange, to pus yellow in about half a second, fear was wafting from him in odorous waves. He moved to argue but Mjorgral silenced him with another ear piercing shriek. 
 
 `` Ambassador Roch.'' I turned my attention to the council, unsure of whom had addressed me. 
 
 `` Yes?'' 
 
 A diminutive blue alien had spoken, and he adjusted what seemed to be a singular robotic spectacle in the center of his blank face. 
 
 `` We hope that you will help make Kril-Thavk's work on Earth successful, despite your differences.'' I could n't determine where it was speaking from, so I stopped trying, I think it was called Felxlude. 
 
 `` Of course High Council. I will extend every hospitality.'' More murmurs of approval and I turned to regard my political enemy with a feral grin. `` My family would just love to have him for dinner.'' His already yellow face paled to the color of sour milk as the room full of galactic ambassadors burst into uproarious laughter. 
 
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 Thanks for reading!
