[ WP ] Heaven and Hell are real . And good news -- They 're hiring !

I nervously tapped my manicured fingernails against the hard plastic chair and shifted in the uncomfortable chair. 
 
 
 *You think Heaven could afford some nice plush chairs* I thought to myself as I scanned the others waiting for their chance at snagging the elusive job. 
 
 
 All of them looked well polished and well dressed. I knew that they had to have the experience, the ad stated clearly that you had to have made it through at least ten life cycles without being corrupted **or** overly benevolent. Any less would be a laugh at your inexperience. 
 
 
 I myself had made it through seventy eight life cycles without being pulled into either Heaven or Hell. I was proud of my achievements. I had seen empires built and watched as they fell. I witnessed the wars, dictators, and Mother Theresa's. My eyes had observed the beginnings of religions and the start of cults. My body had been subject to starvation more than once due to famine or war. 
 
 
 And yet when I died and returned to the Lobby, I was excited to go back. During my short times on Earth I remembered nothing of my past cycles. A core part of me never changed however. I was always neutral. I never went above and beyond to do good, but I never sunk down and released the inner evil either. 
 
 
 `` Miss Lorrilie, we'll see you now'', a soft voice spoke. I recognized my name from my last cycle and arose from my chair. Turning around I watched a small door open and a figure beckoned me inside. I made my way into the extravagant room. Everything was jewel encrusted and every surface shimmered. I stood in awe for a brief moment before I noticed a small group of beings behind a table made of solid gold. They glowed faintly and even though I could n't make out their figures, I could tell that they were humanoid. 
 
 
 `` Miss Lorrilie, we have reviewed you application for Heaven and we must say that we are astounded by the number of cycles you have managed to acquire. ``, one spoke with a soft voice that reminded me of the winds that flowed over the plains that once held no trace of modern human touch. 
 
 
 `` While this a feat we have n't seen before, it's not necessarily a good one...'', a different voice trailed off. 
 
 
 I felt a deep sinking feeling and took in a deep breath to calm myself. 
 
 
 `` It's because of the fact that you went over fifty cycles without that we have to deny your request to become an angel. ``, the voice of this being sounded like a bubbling brook. 
 
 
 `` But there is an upside.... You see, the downstairs department is also hiring and the pay is significantly better. You'd more than triple the amount of lives you would have had than if you were to work with us.'' 
 
 
 *Downstairs? *, I thought quizzically. *Do they mean Hell? * 
 
 
 `` Yes, dear. We do mean Hell. ``, the smooth breeze came back to me. 
 
 
 `` You mean to tell me that I would have more than two hundred and twenty cycles to do as I pleased? ``, my voice sounded unsure. `` More than two hundred and twenty cycles that I would remember without question?'' 
 
 
 `` Yes Lorrilie. ``, they answered in unison. 
 
 
 `` Send me!'' The choice was instant. All of those years, all of the experiences, and all of it could be mine. It was a no-brainer. 
 
 
 And the shining room vanished in an instant and was replaced by hard, smooth stone. Everything had a tint of gray to it. I did a brief view of the room and saw a young gentleman sitting behind a heavy wooden desk. He was dressed impeccably well. A tailored suit clung to his large frame. He stood and shrugged off his jacket. He carelessly tossed it unto a leather couch that was a few feet behind him and gestured to a chair in front of his behemoth desk. 
 
 `` Please, Lorrilie, have a seat. Welcome to Hell. My name is Lucifer. Are you ready to start your life?''
