[ WP ] The most paranoid human alive finds a magic lamp .

He rubs the lamp because it has dirt on it and he does n't want his allergies acting up. A genie shoots out of the lamp. He faints. 
 He wakes up sipping from a glass. He's confused. He opens his eyes and sees the genie feeding him a glass of Budweiser. He starts coughing from the obvious taste dissatisfaction. He yells `` who are you?''. The genie finishes the glass and simply says `` Chris. I have a name tag.'' Surely enough, he did. `` You get 7 wishes my son. Can you make them fast? I was on the phone with my girl. We discussing when Ima pull through.'' 
 
 -- -- - someone continue the story. On toilet. Too much effort lol -- -- -- -- --
