[ WP ] November , 1965 : Moscow has lost radio contact with a secret research facility in Siberia , and the last broadcast from the facility was `` It ... is awake . ''

`` Comrades, I assume we know why we are all gathered here today.'' 
 Brezhnev looked at the assembled group of officials that had gathered, the group known to the outside world as the Politburo. Some of the most radical, powerful, and senile politicians in the world. 
 
 `` As you know, in our attempt to develop the nuclear weaponry we have amassed today, Comrade Stalin commissioned a large number of research facilities in isolated Siberia. These facilities were designed to accommodate methods of controlling the power of the atom. 
 
 If Brezhnev had n't been paying so much attention to his speech, he would have noticed most of the Politburo was out for the count by this point. 
 
 `` In one such experiment, Deus Zero, we attempted to create a being that would be capable of deploying atomic firepower while being impervious to conventional weaponry. It would be heavily armored, mobile, and able to cross all sorts of terrain without issues before delivering its payload. The experiment was perceived to be a failure, however, as the creature we attempted to cultivate was simply too large for it to be possible to sustain itself, especially in Siberia.'' 
 
 Brezhnev adjusted his spectacles as he continued reading his script. 
 
 `` That was, of course, until about six hours ago, at which point we had received a message from the project site. That the weapon had awoken. Further attempts at contacting the site had no response.'' 
 
 `` I fear that the being has awoken and is currently on an unstoppable path of destruction. Its first goal will likely be to seek water to sustain its nuclear reactions. This likely means we will lose Vladivostok as the beast heads to the Pacific. Thousands of hardworking Soviet workers will inevitably die. We have failed the Soviet people in this regard.'' 
 
 Brezhnev continued, idly wiping a bead of sweat on his cheek. 
 
 `` It is thus that I, Alexander Ilyich Zolin, chief of the People's Committee for Atomic Research, must resign my position. My successor is already briefed on the situation, and is awaiting your contact. Sincerely, Alexander Ilyich Zolin.'' 
 
 Brezhnev took a deep breath after he finished, examining the array of slumbering Soviets in front of him. 
 
 `` That was a brilliant speech, was it not, Comrades?'' 
 
 `` Yes, comrade Brezhnev!'' instantly replied the two guards standing at the door. They knew which side the bread was buttered. 
 
 `` Excellent. Moving along then, I have another speech here about the improvement of agricultural yields in Smolensk...'' 
 
 Meanwhile, in the Sea of Ohktosk, near the Japanese island of Honshu, a lone fisherman spots a large, massive object, slowly blundering through the rough seas, headed for the island. His only response is a scream of terror. 
 
 `` GOJILLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!'' 

