[ WP ] Thanks to a bureaucratic error , you are now Satan .

`` So what happens now?'' I was surprisingly calm for someone who had just died. I ca n't say I'm completely shocked at how it happened - I did dare the guy to shoot me after all - but I'm a little thrown off by how quickly things happened. One moment I was standing up in an auditorium full of people and the next I'm standing in a gray reflection of reality, next to a dark hooded figure I can only assume to be death. 
 
 `` Do I just follow you into the afterlife? Do I just fade? What happens?'' I spoke unemphatically, but with increasing impatience. The figure in front of me was n't reacting to me. It seemed like it was distracted by something elsewhere. However, after about a minute passed the figure uncovered it's hood to reveal a porcelain skull and spoke. 
 
 `` This is... um.. how should I put it.'' The grim reaper was standing in front of me stuttering like a nervous prom date. If it were n't for the overwhelming seriousness of my situation I probably would have laughed. `` Normally yes, I would be taking you to the afterlife. But uh... there's a bit of a mixup and... well, that's not going to happen.'' 
 
 `` What do you mean, a mixup?'' 
 
 The reaper pulled out an enourmous book, easily as tall as myself, and began leafing through. It was written in strange runes that I did not recognize, but oddly enough I could tell their meaning with no difficulty. `` To put it simply, you are now Satan.'' I crouched down to look at the book, but turned to face the skeleton after it told me that. 
 
 `` What?'' 
 
 `` Satan is the first angel to fall into hell. That's how he's been defined for eternity, and it's written into our laws and regulations.'' I nodded, following along. `` But an angel is just the primary species of heaven. At that time there was nothing else, and that's just how we eventually ended up defining them once man showed up. Demons are of Hell, Man was of Earth, and Angels were of Heaven.'' I opened my eyes, realizing the consequences of that statement. `` There are more humans in heaven than there are angels. As the dominant species of heaven, they are now angels. And, as the first angel to fall into hell, you are Satan.'' 
 
 `` So wait, how does this work then? Do I just go down to hell and yell at people or something?'' 
 
 `` Oh no nothing like that. God's throwing a party for you, so you'll be going to heaven first. That's where you'll get your authority as well.'' 
 
 I thought of several objections and questions, but none of them seemed very relevant or useful. `` Uh.... okay I guess.'' 
 
 The grim reaper collected his book and stood up. `` Good, follow me.'' 
 
 ____ 
 
 Part 2 will be posted a little later. I need a moment to collect my thoughts and regain motivation.
