[ WP ] A new metal that serves as a perfect conductor is discovered by South Korean scientists . Scientists and surveyors quickly realize that the only deposit of this metal is located directly below North Korea .

`` Operation Tunnel Bore is complete. We have dug a tunnel under the border into the North. Operation Retrieve will commence shortly.'' 
 
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 `` All right men, let's go!'' Commander Hyun-woo called out to his soldiers. He and his soldiers marched forward to the edge of the antechamber containing the precious metal, dubbed Koreite. 
 
 `` Remember, our job is to secure area around the metal and make sure it remains safe,'' Hyun-woo said. 
 
 `` Pardon my asking, sir, but why exactly are we securing an underground cave that only we know about?'' Hyun-woo's second-in-command, Seo-jun, asked. 
 
 `` Well, do n't go spreading this around, but there's a chance that the Northerners may know about this cave as well, so it's important that we keep it safe,'' Hyun-woo said. 
 
 The troops entered the antechamber. 
 
 `` Hold!'' Hyun-woo said. He glanced around. It was very dark, but his years of military training told him something was amiss. 
 
 `` Something's wrong here,'' he said. `` Everyone stay put.'' 
 
 No sooner than the words came out of his mouth, a spray of red fluid, seemingly coming from all directions, sprayed Hyun-woo and all of his men. 
 
 `` W-what is this?'' he asked. He sniffed his fatigues. ``... Beef drippings?'' 
 
 Suddenly, the light intensified in the chamber, and a horrific scene was revealed in front of him. North Koreans dug away at the rock, using either picks made of wood and duct tape or their own fingernails. They carried them over to a machine machine, placing them in enormous buckets, where they were lifted up to a high ledge. The machine also appeared to be held together by duct tape, and powered by North Koreans on bicycles. The buckets were dumped into large minecarts, which were manucally pushed by more North Koreans down the tracks. In the middle of the entire operation stood Kim Jong-Un himself on a large metal platform, eating a BLT. 
 
 `` Ah, you've arrived, Hyun-woo,'' he said, finishing his BLT. `` Glad to see you could make it.'' 
 
 `` What is going on here?'' Hyun-woo asked. Some of the North Korean workers looked up at the disturbance. 
 
 `` Back to work!'' Kim Jong-Un snarled. He turned back to face Hyun-woo. `` Well, as you can see, we're mining the Koreite. Only fitting, since we're the better Korea.'' 
 
 `` How dare you say that!'' Hyun-woo said, stepping forward. `` You horrid communist! You enslave your own people.'' 
 
 `` I will not stand for that kind of talk,'' Kim Jong-Un said. He snapped his fingers, and everything went silent. `` Release the dogs,'' he said. A noise swelled forth from, the silence, and, seemingly from nowhere, hundreds of skinny North Korean children rushed forward. 
 
 `` They're attracted to our fatigues! Everyone strip down! Quickly!'' Hyun-woo said. 
 
 `` Gah, we ca n't fire at children!'' yelled Seo-jun said, tearing his fatigues off. 
 
 Shortly, all the South Koreans had their fatigues off, and the children were closing in. `` Retreat!'' yelled Hyun-woo. The South Koreans raced down the tunnel, the children reaching their fatigues and stopping to lick the beef drippings off. Kim Jong-Un smiled, satisfied. The best Korea had won this battle. 
 
 `` Who told you to stop working?'' he yelled at his people. Work started up again. `` Better.'' 
 
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