[ WP ] [ EU ] The story of A New Hope as told by Imperial tech support .

`` Man, I told you not to release the backup file to that chick without clearance from the boss.'' 
 Perkins looked morose as he sat in front of the console, 
 `` She was *hot* though - and she said she was from HR.'' 
 I shook my head; we did n't know what was in that backup file, but our department was on lockdown for now, so it must have been highly confidential. 
 `` Well,'' I pursed my lips; it was tough being the only woman in an IT crew, `` at least they managed to catch up to the courier ship. We should have it back soon.'' 
 The call lights started to show up on our consoles as the sound of lasers echoed faintly through the hull. 
 `` Hello, Imperial Star Destroyer support, Kelly speaking, how can I help you?'' I rattled off as I answered the first call. 
 `` Hi, yeah, uh, gunner Samuels here, my targetting array on my quad laser turret just rebooted and now a squiggle thingy is stuck on the screen.'' 
 I sighed; it was going to be one of those shifts. 
 
 & nbsp; 
 The promotion was a shock; but the head of Tech Support had noted my diligence in warning Jenkins about handing over classified material. 
 `` Kelly, we could use someone like you on our new startbase; a call support person with your maturity and leadership skills.'' 
 `` Thank you mister Johnson, it's an honour.'' 
 Before I knew it, I was on a transport, heading for the newest imperial installation. 
 My new team were great and the equipment was state of the art. After introductions, they let me settle into my new routine. I briefly wondered what happened to Jenkins, but then put the thought out of my head and got to work. 
 Two days later our first big incident happened. 
 `` Hello, Imperial Death Star support, Kelly speaking, how can I help you?'' 
 `` This is Lieutenant Burrows, from targeting systems. My console crashed and restarted and now there's a squiggle on the screen that wo n't go away.'' 
 `` OK mister Burrows, first thing I'll get you to do is close all other applications.'' 
 `` Yes, yes, I did that. Hurry this along, we're trying to vapourise a planet here!'' 
 `` OK, let me just remote into your session.'' 
 The old squiggle-of-death again. Some thing never change. 
 
 & nbsp; 
 `` Nicely handled there, Kelly.'' 
 `` Thanks mister Johnson.'' 
 `` So we have an opening as an IT infrastructure manager after the, uh, Tractor Beam and Trash Compactor incidents.'' 
 I nodded. I'd taken the initial call for that, then escalated to second level support. Bad design that; they could really use some better minds in the infrastructure team. 
 `` So are you keen? I wo n't lie that it's a high pressure job - and you'll be getting calls from VIPs, like Lord Vader.'' 
 `` I think I'm ready for a step up.'' 
 `` That's my girl. Do n't let me down.'' 
 I settled in quickly, my new team were nice, if somewhat stuffy. They seemed *on edge* all the time and kept glancing at the empty console where my predecessor had sat. 
 Immediately I noticed several major flaws in the system and raised a change management meeting, my powerpoint presentations of the exhaust port flaw ready to go. Higher management began to shuffle in and take their seats and I started the presentation, showing the danger of having heavy, poorly maneuverable lasers guarding the surface of the Death Star when smaller, more agile ones would better protect the outer hull. 
 `` But no one would be mad enough to fly a ship down a corridor like that,'' griped Simons. 
 `` I agree. This meeting is a waste of time. Who promoted this idiot woman?'' 
 That was Denton. I was only a week on the job and he hated me already. 
 `` But sir, if you'll just give me -'' 
 `` Enough. I've reports to run and utilization quotas to re-engineer.'' 
 He pushed his chair out and stood, stalking to the door. 
 At the entrance, the fire alarm went off and all our hand-hold consoles popped up with a Priority One Fault: 
 
 New P1 Ticket has been raised: unauthorized object in primary exhaust port 
 
 I fixed Denton with the best shit-eye I could manage; 
 `` I fucking *told you so! *'' 

