[ WP ] While playing D & D with some friends , one of the characters `` escapes through a portal '' . The same character suddenly walks into the room you 're in , utterly confused .

`` Jesus christ. Out of all the characters which could escape, it was this exact one.'' 
 
 `` Who you calling a character, human scum?'' 
 
 `` It could have been the gallant overpowered knight, it could have been the overly sexual one by that virgin over there, it could have at least been the witty idiot... But instead, we get a xenophobic sociopath of a cucumber.'' 
 
 Geren the cucumber stood mighty on the floor, with beautiful cucumberonian genes embedded inside him. And yet, this human scum still mocked him. This shall not be acceptable in his perfect cucumber world... And then, he saw through it all, and how it all worked. He understood, and so, he formulated his plan. 
 
 `` Well, which one do you want the most?'' He asked. 
 
 And so the one with the big mouth started talking first. `` The gallant knight would've been great. Could have been like a real life superhero, smiting the evils of this world, and maybe could even have created a-'' 
 
 `` Are you stupid? He's simply overpowered, not a god.'' Chipped in the man with the funny hat. `` M'lady Yuno would have been a much better choice. Would have at least made us happy.'' 
 
 `` I beg to differ, friends'' Said the one who was acting all lordly. `` My witty character Tyrion would have been the perfect choice. Great friend, great ally, maybe would have used his wit to convince people to do good things for once.'' 
 
 And so an argument ensued. A huge and great one, where despite the fact that every side knew that the other two could not be convinced, they still shouted as if it was their last day on Earth. And yet they still could n't see... it. 
 
 `` I transform into an omnipotent and invincible cucumber'', said Geren, dropping the die down. 
 
 It was a 20.
