[ WP ] You 're trying to get fired from your job writing for a children 's show . Submit the script that 'll do it .

“ Aaand… action. ” I felt my heart skip a beat. God, I hated this dead-end job. Working on Miss Sparkle ’ s Magic Kingdom of Love and Happiness literally made me consider putting Miss Sparkle ’ s Gun of Death right to my head. I thought I could get into this, educating children and all, but no. I thought that I could get out of it, but no. Every script I submitted before this one was checked, critiqued, and then approved. So when I killed the “ Magic Bunnies of Glittertown ” with a super-laser that wiped out the whole population, they turned it into a lesson about death and the obliteration of races. When I created a graphic sex scene between Miss Sparkle and her suitor, Mister Dick, they toned it down to make it a lesson about love. They also changed his name to Prince Richard. Now Sparkles and Richard are together, and they raised a farm full of Magic Bunnies. 
 
 The producers, directors, and anyone else working on the project commended me for my daring plot lines and ability to teach kid new, real life, lessons. Sometimes, jumping off a bridge seems like a better idea than writing for this show another day. But this was finally it. My day had come. They needed a script pronto, something that would act as a filler for this week ’ s live episode. I don ’ t know why they let me submit something I had been working on, but I guess it was just my kind of day. 
 
 The scene starts as any Miss Sparkle ’ s would, with Miss Sparkle reading a child ’ s letter. This time, it was about a small boy who was getting bullied in class. Miss Sparkle gave a stern message including the phrase “ snitches get stitches. ” Then it moved onto the magic kingdom of learning and words. Miss Sparkle turned on her cute, sparkly television, which displayed the letter F in a glittery font. 
 
 “ F is for foreplay! ” she exclaimed, as the screen switched to a g. “ G is for G-spot, H for hickey, I for intermolecular bonding, J for jet fuel doesn ’ t melt steel beams… ” and she continued, spitting out sexual words, conspiracies, and a random word here and there to break it up. 
 
 Then I had her do a segment with the animals, on diseases. And then, she showed how to cook each of the animals, with a live demonstration. 
 
 To end the episode, I had her speak about the illuminati, and how many people were really a part of it. 
 
 My boss came to me the next day with “ outstanding ” news. The episode had gone swimmingly, as people were unable to teach their kids about real world things like sex. The reviews were sky high, and I didn ’ t believe my eyes. 
 
 While I was awestruck by the reviews, something literally struck me in the back of the head. Before I passed out, I heard my boss say something… 
 
 “ He knew too much about our organization. He must be exterminated, and all those who watched the episode, brainwashed into thinking it ’ s all a joke. Illuminati brothers, dismissed. ” 

