[ WP ] After you are elected President , you discover a big red button hidden in your desk in the Oval Office . When you ask your predecessor about it , he said that it had been there for decades , but the secret of what it did died with Kennedy . After a few years , you finally give in and push the button .

Push me. Push me, taunts the big, red button. 
 
 We are on the brink of war with Syria, and while I should be gathering my thoughts before the council with the Joint Chiefs, I ’ m staring at the damn button again. 
 
 Push me. 
 
 Six months ago, I was so focused on winning. But everything comes at price. The presidency in exchange for marital problems. Elaine and I still love each other, but it ’ s been a hard time for us. 
 
 There are so many little things I didn ’ t anticipate about the presidency - like the fact that you leave your old house behind. Four years ( maybe eight, if we ’ re lucky ) in a completely different house. 
 
 Push me. 
 
 And we loved our old house in Connecticut. The most powerful man in the world, but I don ’ t really have a say about this. Of course I could, if I really wanted to. I could be the first president in American history to refuse relocating to the White House. What would the press have to say about that? 
 
 It is a strange house, because it belonged to strangers. Those old presidents, those American deities. So it doesn ’ t feel like home to Elaine and me, not yet anyway. Ask again in another six months. 
 
 Push me. 
 
 Here ’ s something interesting. There is a red button, hidden within the desk of the Oval Office. I have no idea what it does. 
 
 I told Elaine about it. She said just ask somebody. Why are men so afraid to ask questions? 
 
 Ask who? I ’ m the president. It ’ s my office. Who else would even know the button is there? 
 
 I don ’ t know, she said. Who cares? Why don ’ t you ask Obama if you care about it so much? 
 
 Sure. That ’ s worth a phone call. She ’ s right. Who cares? 
 
 Push me. 
 
 Yesterday, phone in hand, I almost asked for Mr. Obama. 
 
 Push me. Push me. 
 
 Syria. The Middle East. Joint resolution. Work to do. Stop thinking about that stupid button. 
 
 pushmepushmepushmepushmepushmepushme! 
 
 My hand, as though no longer under my control, pushes the big, red button. 
 
 I never thought pushing a button could be so satisfying. It resists just a little, and clicks down. Silence. Nothing, as expected. I don ’ t know why I -- 
 
 Suddenly, booming over the intercom: “ Warning! Code 0 initiated. 5, 4, 3, 2 -- ” 
 
 Oh fuck, what did I just do? 
 
 “ -1, 0... ” 
 
 *** 
 
 I must have nodded off for a moment. The news is on. 
 
 “ BREAKING NEWS from Washington. President Pierce has solved the crisis in the Middle East through a diplomatic resolution that can only be described as “ Astounding. ” More details to follow. Everyone is asking what ’ s next for Elaine Pierce, America ’ s first single, female president? ” 
 
 For some reason, whenever I see the president on TV, I feel melancholic and empty. And she looks so goddamn familiar.
