[ WP ] Clone-A-Friend , Inc. lets people buy clones of celebrities who have sold the rights to their genome .

The clone dinner, popular with the Corn aliens ( a race yet to be discovered by humans ) was actually a GMO food prepared with vegetables like Lunchables for other species. Its branding used cartoons of the human elbow and knee joints for holographic labels. The crunchy joints were preferred by predators of the human, like macaroni. The human meat shipped in frozen, prohibitively expensive plastic lunch cubes. The meat tasted much like ham, but to those who refused to eat lower animals there was no substitute for human beings—clones, of course. 
 
 The second product besides the Lunchables line was the Clone-A-Friend line which almost suffered a costly recall before the very first shipment. They were mindless clones sold by toy companies to give edible companions to children. The slogan was, “ Just cook them in your oven when you're fuggin' done! `` * 
 
 “ Show me that string on the second chromosome, again. ” The sentient robot obliged, rotating its motor to magnify the DNA directly from its crystal cage. The doctor ruffled his cheek feathers. “ Measles. ” 
 
 The face of the clones were chosen from among the most famous Earthlings, but the bodies were definitely not the same. No celebrity on Earth was born of a body that meets the high standards of Corn cuisine. The standard body of the human clone was a middle-weight female in her early 30's, regardless of the sex of the celebrity whose face was attached. Children rarely discern the sex of humans, anyway, seeing them as a poor and unworthwhile race of ignorant zoological beings. The only wortwhile aspect of their culture was television ( especially the Kardashians ). 
 
 Clone-A-Friend was at its core a commodity exporter. Nabbing the genome of several hot-shot celebrities ( Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Johnny Knoxville ), the business would manufacture thousands of people every day on the Earth's moon. There was one problem. 
 
 “ Despite choosing perfectly stupid candidates for domestication, ” the doctor furiously recounted to the telephone port, “ the DNA of the celebrities' faces is interfering with the Clone-A-Friends' consciousness! The clones are remembering Earth! ” 
 
 “ Well, is the entire line going to need to be recalled? Remember: You will die, as spoken by N'bathor of the House of the -- ” 
 
 “ No, it does n't need to be recalled. I have something, a vaccine of sorts, that can be administered to the Clone-A-Friend after awaking it from its prepackaged coma. This vaccine will render the Clone-A-Friend utterly devoid of any significance cognitive ability. ” 
 
 “ Very good, Nagathor. Very good. ” 
 
 *Also prohibitively expensive.
