[ WP ] You are 80 years old and just finished writing your autobiography . What 's on page 327 ?

I woke up after the surgery, tubes and wires running everywhere. For a moment I thought I was one of those Borg creatures from Star Trek, tied up to the collective hivemind. But as my vision cleared and I remembered what had happened, I realized I was in the ICU at the hospital. 
 
 I remembered feeling feverish, but dismissing it as just the flu. Afterall, I worked in retail and customer service, so there was naughty a bug I had n't been exposed to. I tried to remember what led up to my stay here... Let's see. I was feverish, but popped some Tylenol and hauled my ass into work. I was at my desk, making sure the deposit made it into the bank and not some sticky-fingered fucker's pocket. There was a knock on the door and I spun around in my chair, perhaps a little too fast... That's the last thing I remember. 
 
 I lifted my hand to the side of my face and winced. There must be a bruise there, because my whole cheek hurts like I got punched repeatedly by that asshole UPS driver who does n't understand that FRAGILE on a box does n't mean throw it out the back of the fucking truck. That's another name on my list, but that's a different chapter for later. 
 
 I guess the movement triggered one of those alarms because a nurse came in. I tried to ask her what happened, but my mouth was dry and I'm sure my tongue was superglued to the hard palette. I reached over to the little rolley table and groped for something, mouthing `` water'' until the nurse handed me a cup of ice chips. Even as doped up and out of it as I was, I know I just glared at her when I looked in the cup. Bullshit ice chips. Must be covered under ICU 101. 
 
 The nurse left as I dumped the cup of ice chips on my face, managing to get some in my mouth. The cold chips felt great against my face, I guess I still had a fever. I worked the chips that landed in my mouth around, finally able to swallow something other than dust. I tried to sit up and immediately regretted that as my head began to pound hard enough to make my eyes cross. 
 
 I lay there, for only a few moments, but it felt like hours, until someone else came in. Someone who walked like he had a rod up his ass. He moved to the side of my bed and opened the folder, glancing
