[ EU ] Voldemort stood surrounded by his death eater guards , but all he could do was stare at the odd muggle that had broken in . `` Who are you ? '' Voldemort shouts . He replies , `` The name is Bond , James Bond . ''

`` Alright, this is it Bond. We have one shot to stop him.'' M's voice was tense. 
 
 He had decided to supervise this operation personally due to the far reaching consequences failure would have. Bond straightened the lapels of his bespoke suit, took a deep breath and walked into the darkened restaurant ahead of him. 
 
 `` Right.'' He said calmly. He dropped an infrared strobe beacon outside the door as he walked. `` Beacon is set.'' 
 
 Four teams of SAS commandos, a unit of Royal Infantry, and an Apache Longbow attack helicopter were waiting on the notorious spy's go ahead to raid the meet up. 
 
 `` Ah, our muggle friend has arrived.'' A rasping voice greeted him. The building was dark with exception of a single candelabra on a massive round table in the far corner. 
 
 `` Lord Voldemort.'' Bond said evenly. He took a seat among a dozen masked wizards. 
 
 `` Once we take care of Hogwarts, our subjugation of the muggles will require control of their government. We need to infiltrate parliament.'' One of the death eaters continued a heated argument that had started before Bond had arrived. 
 
 `` That's what Mister Sneed is here for.'' The dark lord gestured at the spy. `` He holds a very high position within parliament. He will ensure their... cooperation, when the time comes.'' 
 
 `` Yes. I am going to need the names of your other men in parliament to meet with them.'' Bond said, tapping his watch to signal the assault teams. 
 
 `` They will find you Mister Sneed.'' Voldemort said. `` You'll know them by our mark.'' 
 
 The death eaters rolled up their sleeves in unison, revealing a writhing live tattoo of a snake slithering through a skull. Bond nodded, his face impassive. A dull thumping noise began to rise as the attack helicopter got closer. 
 
 `` Would you like anything sir?'' A terrified muggle waitress approached him. Clearly a hostage like the rest of the staff. 
 
 `` Vodka Martini. Shaken. Not stirred.'' He caught her arm as she turned to leave and motioned for her to lean down to him. Winking at a death eater as if about to say something lecherous. 
 
 `` Get as far back as you can into the kitchen. As soon as you can, run out the front door.'' He whispered. She looked at him curiously before going to the kitchen. She returned a moment later with his drink. 
 
 `` What is that?'' A death eater with long white hair stood up, looking around worriedly as the thumping got louder. 
 
 `` One of those infernal muggle machines Lucious. Calm down.'' Another death eater said brashly. 
 
 `` You have lovely taste Mister Sneed.'' A female death eater leered at him. Bond sipped his drink silently. 
 
 `` I'm going to go check that out.'' Lucious said as the noise got louder. He took two other death eaters and left. Bond sipped his drink again, watching the remaining death eaters calmly. 
 
 The world shattered as thirty millimeter cannon rounds shredded the front door, walking their way back into the main building. Bond carefully drops his martini glass on the table, draws his Walther, and puts a bullet through the masks of the surviving wizards. 
 
 Voldemort's snakelike face was a study in confusion. He stared in horror at the shattered remains of his secret army. Bond was dimly aware of the restaurant staff fleeing through the demolished front wall. 
 
 `` Who... who the hell are you? Really?'' The dark wizard asked him numbly. 
 
 England's greatest spy casually brushed dust off of the shoulders of his jacket and adjusted his cuff-links. 
 
 `` The name is Bond. James Bond.'' 
 
 Voldemort reached quickly for his wand. Bond shot him without a second thought. The greatest evil in the entire wizarding world tumbled lifeless out of his chair. 
 
 Lights flooded the destroyed building as SAS operatives storm in. Rifles dropped as quickly as they were raised, as the soldiers took in the scene before them. Sir Gareth Mallory picked his way carefully through the rubble. 
 
 `` I said alive, Double Oh Seven did n't I?'' He remarked dryly. 
 
 `` I must have misheard you.'' The spy replied jokingly. `` In all fairness he drew on me first.'' 
 
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 A little bit of a different take on the prompt but I really enjoyed writing this!
