[ WP ] A man orders a `` cheese pizza with no crust '' from a local pizza delivery joint as a joke . Unbeknownst to him , that pizza joint is a drug front and he just placed an order for a kilo of cocaine .

At the sound of the doorbell, I heaved myself from my seat. 
 
 I moved over to the door, ready to go on an angry rant about the time. Who the hell thought two in the morning was a good time to turn up at your house? They could ’ ve woken me up! They didn ’ t, but they could ’ ve, and it ’ s the thought that counts. 
 
 I opened the door and my words died on my lips. A man in a pizza deliveryman ’ s costume stood there, smoking a cigarette and flanked by two burly men in tracksuits. Behind them, a bright red SUV was parked, its lights off but engine still gently running. 
 
 “ Uh…hi? ” 
 
 The pizza man dropped his cigarette. “ Show us the money first. ” 
 
 I glanced around. “ Am…am I being robbed? ” 
 
 The man snorted. “ Robbed? Hell no. We ’ ve got the best prices around. ” 
 
 I looked at the symbol on the man ’ s hat and came to a sudden realisation. “ You ’ re from Notmafiosos ’ Pizza Parlour! ” 
 
 “ Hell yeah, I am. Now where ’ s the money? ” 
 
 “ I called you guys six hours ago. ” Prank-called them, to be specific, asking for a ridiculous order. Come to think of it, I hadn ’ t even given them my address. 
 
 The pizza man snorted. “ What, you thought we were gon na come in broad daylight? And people don ’ t normally ask for such massive amounts. ” 
 
 “ I only asked for a cheese pizza with no crust. ” 
 
 “ Man, what do you mean ‘ only ’? It would take years to get through a cheese pizza without the crust. What do you normally buy? ” 
 
 I rolled my eyes. “ A Hawaiian pizza with no cheese or pineapple. ” 
 
 The pizza man ’ s eyes widened. “ Holy shit, dude. Are you some kind of millionaire? ” He turned back to one of the men. “ This guy ’ s a real buyer; go get the product. ” 
 
 The man nodded and headed back to the SUV. He rooted around in it for a minute before turning the lights on, revealing a myriad of logos for Notmafiosos ’ Pizza Parlour that I somehow hadn ’ t seen before. 
 
 He returned soon, clutching a briefcase, which he handed to the pizza man, who laid it on the floor and clicked it open, revealing a pristine pizza box. Slowly and carefully, he stood, and then handed it to me. 
 
 “ It ’ s all in there, dude. ” 
 
 What the hell were these guys on about? I opened the box. 
 
 “ Guys, I didn ’ t order a box of flour. ” 
 

