[ WP ] The army of Mordor has been transported to our world at the height of the Roman Empire . Rome has assembled its army and it 's Caesar is about to give his pre-battle speech .

( I apologize in advance for this lacking a serious tone, but this is my legitimate idea of how that would go down ) 
 
 Roman's! 
 
 I do n't know what the fuck those things are, and the odds are against us! I mean, the barbarian tribes of Britannia staved us off, so these bastards might damn well have a chance at razing Rome! 
 
 But, hold fast, and keep your shields high! For I shall be with you, and we will make them regret this aggression! We may die, or we may live, but the fact remains: they will never forget THIS TRAVESTY! 
 
 *Mounts his horse and rides away, leaving his armies in disarray*
