[ WP ] A man with above average intelligence wishes for the world to be smarter . He is delighted to find that his wish has come true , until he realizes that he is now the least intelligent man in the world .

Dan told them he did n't want a cake for my birthday. He did n't like his co-workers very much, and have no need for them to acknowledge that he was getting a year older. Of course they did n't listen, and he got stuck listening to 30 voices singing an awful rendition of `` Happy Birthday'' while they bought out a cake lit up with candles. 
 
 `` Make a wish, but do n't tell anyone or it wo n't come true!!'' 
 
 His mouth acted before his brain could stop it. 
 
 `` I WISH I DID N'T HAVE TO INTERACT WITH IDIOTS LIKE YOU ON A DAILY BASIS. HOW CAN ALL OF YOU BE SO FUCKING STUPID? I WISH EVERY ONE OF YOU STUPID PEOPLE EVERYWHERE WOULD JUST GET FUCKING SMARTER SO I DO N'T HAVE TO INTERACT WITH YOU CRETINS EVERY DAMN DAY.'' 
 
 What our surly friend Dan did not realize was that birthday wishes sometimes become reality, but only when spoken aloud and it was very rare. The opposite saying had been put into practice so that people would n't be able to utilize the special power they could possibly possess once a year. 
 
 He had no clue anything had changed until he showed up to work the day after his tirade. His boss called him into his office, and Dan thought he was getting fired for sure. At this point he barely cared about losing the job; he just did n't want the axe to come down from this blithering idiot in middle management. 
 
 `` How are you feeling today, Dan? Were you able to get past the melancholy of yesterday so that we do n't have any further diatribes from you?'' 
 
 `` You're not angry about what I said?'' Dan asked, pleased that he had n't been fired but confused that his boss had just uttered two coherent sentences back to back. This was a first for him. 
 
 `` I thought a lot about what you said yesterday Dan, and you were right. We had an early staff meeting this morning, and we came to the conclusion we could very easily handle your job amongst ourselves and keep the extra money while increasing production at the same time.'' 
 
 Dan wanted a witty comeback in the moment, but he was too confused to come up with anything. His boss was never anything resembling an intellectual but he sounded like a different person today. 
 
 `` I'm a specialist in the field. You ca n't just replace me that easy, and certainly not with some of the idiots here.'' Dan said with more than a hint of arrogance. 
 
 `` That would have been true yesterday, but today is a new day. You wished for all the stupid people to get smarter, it came true, and there were so many of us. You have made the world a much better place.'' 
 
 `` Hold on. What do you mean'my wish came true'?'' Dan asked, trying to wrap his mind around all of this. `` So all the stupid people everywhere are now smart?'' 
 
 His boss smiled a huge grin and nodded affirmatively. `` You got it.'' 
 
 `` So I do n't have to deal with my department being full of idiots anymore? This could make work a lot more pleasant.'' Dan smiled with him at the thought of no more dumbasses to get in his way. 
 
 `` Well, it is n't exactly your department anymore.'' His boss replied, still smiling but with a serious tone. `` We had a staff meeting early this morning and we are putting Bill from the mail room in charge of your department now. We no longer have use for you there.'' 
 
 `` Bill? The guy who drools on himself all the time? How in the fuck are you gon na give him my job?'' Dan asked, his short temper flaring again. 
 
 `` That guy taught himself 2 languages in the past 24 hours and could now do your job in his sleep. As he was exceptionally stupid before, your wish helped him even more than most. He is a brilliant man now, all thanks to you.'' 
 
 `` So, for helping everyone out I'm getting fired?'' Dan asked, still in a bit of shock. 
 
 His boss shrugged his shoulders, reached behind his desk, and picked up a broom. `` We could use a janitor. That's about all you're qualified for here.'' 

