[ WP ] A suicidal man , who is wealthy , and has the love of friends and family , and the love of a nation , says goodbye to his wife for what he believes is the last time . Make me sympathize with this man .

I am so sorry. 
 
 By the time you see this you probably already know that I'm dead. 
 
 This is my goodbye. And an explanation. 
 
 You know that I've been dealing with this shit for a while now. And you've been supportive and I thank you for that. I love you so fucking much and I feel like such an egotistical dick for leaving you and the kids like this. 
 
 I just ca n't take it any more. 
 
 I've been trying. *We've* been trying. 
 
 I've tried to keep on going for years now. The problem is that keeping on is all I've been doing all this time. It's like I never really live. I just survive. 
 
 I'm sick of this fight. 
 
 I'm sick of the days when waking up is a battle. I'm sick of the days when eating turns into a struggle. I'm sick of the days when each and every one of the steps I try to take turns into a fucking war against myself. I just feel so fucking tired. 
 
 I'm fighting my mind and I'm fighting my body constantly. 
 
 The panic attacks and all that jazz... I can no longer see where my emotions end and the pains of my flesh begin. The lines between my mind and my body have blurred, and - 
 
 You wan na know what the worst part about seeking help is? It's that, prior to the therapy and the medical examinations, you think that you know who you are. You have access to all this privileged and subjective information, this private data about yourself. You're the only one with access to your own mind. And you live your life thinking that *that* is *you*. Your subjective perspective is what makes up your entire world. It constitutes *you*. 
 
 And then you're told you're wrong. Those pains in your chest are not really pains in your chest. You're not dying, not *really*. Your depression skewers your mind and your view on the world. You're not only wrong, but *you* are wrong. 
 
 What I'm saying is that in order to receive help you have to demolish your subjective self. You have to concede that your private data, your whole person really, is *flawed*. And that *they* are right, about you. 
 
 Receiving help is killing your personal self. It's just another form of suicide. I've been in the process of killing myself for a long time now. 
 
 And I'm so sorry. But goddamnit I have to finish this. 
 
 Tell the kids I loved them. 
 
 You know I loved you. 
 
 Bye.
