[ WP ] The narrator has a huge crush on the protagonist . It 's really starting to creep the protagonist out .

*Littleton is more or less what it sounds like: a little town. It's not a very exciting place, which only makes it even more perfect for a set-up involving strange and quirky characters. The population is 924, and most people know each other by name. They're all boring and lame, though, so I'm going to skip to the good part. * 
 
 *Ah, Annie- the kind of woman you ca n't help but stare at. Her beauty is unmatched; her smile so vibrant. That dark brown hair, those deep, blue eyes and soft, pale skin are unrivaled. How I'd love to gently caress her cheeks and wrap her in warm embrace... * 
 
 `` Umm, excuse me? That's a little weird, buddy. Come on, cut the bullshit and introduce me already. I'm literally just sitting here pretending to eat a bowl of quinoa, waiting for you to start the damn story so I can continue my day,'' Annie snapped at the air, frightening her cats. 
 
 *Oh, uh, right. Sorry, Annie- actually, I'm going to call you by your full name, Sarah-Anne. I love the way it makes me feel like I speak with a silver tongue, even if just for a moment. * 
 
 `` Ugh, do n't call me that. I hate the name'Sarah-Anne', it's like I'm being called downstairs to go milk the family cow. My name is Annie.'' 
 
 *Oh, okay, sorry love- I mean, sorry Annie. So, Annie was-* 
 
 `` Wait, excuse me? What did you just say to me?'' 
 
 *Um, nothing. Please, let me finish the introduction. I'm stuck here until it's over and I need to pee really badly. * 
 
 `` No, you little shit, you called me'love'. You do n't even know me!'' 
 
 *Well actually, I'm a third person omniscient narrator, so I know you better than you know yourself....technically... * 
 
 `` That's really disturbing, dude. Like I feel so violated right now.'' 
 
 *I... yeah, well I did n't ask to be able to see into your head, did I? It's a weird place, SARAH-ANNE, all you think about is playing with bats and watching Yu-Gi-Oh with your cats. You're falling in love with some asshole at school, when nice guys like me are stuck here in this dimensional shift narrating your life. * 
 
 `` Wh- That has n't happened to me yet! You're spoiling my own life to me! And if you insult my Yu-Gi-Oh, I will destroy you. Also, I'll have you know that bats are *extremely* cool, with their little wing-butts and inability to eat grapes properly. Hey, screw you! Stop reading my mind!'' 
 
 *I literally ca n't stop while I'm here, okay? I'm going to make this quick, god damnit. SARAH-ANNE is a... nice looking young lady that I TOTALLY DO N'T LOVE, and she lives in a town and weird, quirky shit happens....and... whatever, your mother is calling you downstairs to go milk the cow. Can I leave now? Damn it, Bob, let me leave this place. She knows I'm here! She's just thinking about how creepy I am! I swear, Bob, I'll piss all over the seat here if you do n't let me get out of this place. Wh- Ew, Bob! She has a piss fetish! I'm leaving. *
