[ WP ] Write the superhero origin story of your username

Quality of life has not been one of Mr John McPeterblart's bragging points in life but he was about to change that. 
 
 With some minor connections he has managed to make through failed tinder dates and cat person meetup sites he was ready to finally reach his goal of being the tallest person in the room. 
 
 The man's name was Crêpeface, known throughout the whole pacific northwest region's underground as a professional stretcher. Upon approaching Crêpeface, John would have thought to call the man Waffleface due to his extremely waffle-like features. John however was not here to question his new mentor's name, but to reach new heights of self confidence. 
 
 John's dream of being incredibly tall so that he may reach anything he could wish to reach was quickly put on hold at the confusion caused by Crêpeface's wall. The wall was adorned with a mosaic of pictures showing in great detail the successes of this mysterious stretcher's work. It would seem that some earlier dialogue would have dispelled this large misunderstanding of exactly what it is that Crêpeface stretches. 
 
 Crêpeface had no doubt that he would be able to help Mr McPeterblart in this matter though, after all how different is one body part from an entire body? 
 
 After much deliberation and reluctant conversation John decided that he would indulge Crêpeface in this matter and allow him to perform his stretching wizardry on his whole self and not just his manhood. 
 
 John McPeterblart awoke with a heavy sense of dread at what had transpired. He could feel his whole body flop in incorrect directions. 
 
 A look in the mirror confirmed what he had feared. 
 
 Flapsthiscax decided that there is no place in the world for shady underground dealings of surgery and dedicated himself to the eradication of all such practitioners. 

