[ WP ] A gay man , a black man , a pick up artist and a Christian fundamentalist discuss what it means to be a man .

`` Happy birthday, Danny boy!'' 
 
 Daniel grinned sheepishly as he clinked longnecks with his three coworkers. They'd been working together for the past two months, but this was the first time Daniel had been invited on one of their after-hours outings. Pushing the lime down the bottleneck with his thumb, he took his first legal sip of alcohol. Daniel nearly choked as a broad, heavy hand patted him firmly on the back. 
 
 `` How's it feel to finally be a man, squirt?'' 
 
 The hand belonged to Dominick, his coworker in accounting. Dominick had just crested thirty earlier that year, but his behavior and cologne suggested his mind was still clinging to his teenage years. Daniel flinched as the strong aroma washed over him, wondering if Dom had used the spray applicator or just dumped the whole bottle on himself that morning. 
 
 `` Well, I turned eighteen three years ago, Dom, so --'' Daniel began. 
 
 `` Nah, kid, that ai n't what I mean!'' Dominick interrupted, clapping him on the back once more. `` You've stepped into a whole new world today! Green pastures wit' fine fillies frolickin' about as far as the eye can see!'' 
 
 Dominick emphasized his point with a broad sweep of his arm toward the rest of the bar. Daniel glanced about the room, noting that there were only three patrons outside of his group, and only one was female. He shot a wry look to Dominick. 
 
 `` Yeah, yeah, I might be exaggeratin' a bit, wise guy,'' Dom continued, elbowing Daniel playfully in the ribs, `` but the scene around here ai n't bad at night. Stick wit' me tonight, an' I'll show you how to pick up a gal like a real man!'' 
 
 `` Like a real man?'' Daniel echoed. 
 
 `` You heard me, sonny!'' Dom chuckled heartily and lightened his bottle before continuing. `` A real man ai n't afraid to take what he wants, see. A man's got ta know his way around the ladies, know how to pick out the choice cuts of meat, you get me? Get in, get out, no strings attached. That's how a man lives, y'know?'' 
 
 `` I do n't know how I feel about that,'' Daniel said quietly, taking a drink from his neglected beer. `` I do n't think being a man is all about women.'' 
 
 `` Well that's something we can agree on, then!'' a cheery voice from his other side called. 
 
 Maxwell, their department manager's secretary, was resting his elbow on Daniel's free shoulder. He looked out of place with the other three, his youthful vitality and bright smile contrasting sharply with their slightly disheveled appearances and Friday afternoon fatigue. Maxwell coyly sipped his drink, his eyes never leaving Daniel's face. After setting his bottle down, he picked up the lime that had accompanied it and sucked out some of the juice, raising his eyebrows provocatively. Daniel let out a nervous chuckle and turned away, his face turning red. 
 
 `` See, Max, you've gone and embarrassed the kid!'' Dominick scolded. `` Pretty sure he do n't play for your team, so you might wan na ease up on the gas there before you get your feelins hurt.'' 
 
 `` Aw, I was just having a little fun,'' Maxwell pouted. `` I do agree with him, though.'' 
 
 `` Oh?'' Dominick cocked an eyebrow. 
 
 `` Well, I'm biased, obviously,'' Maxwell continued, `` but even if we just use, say, sexual conquest in general instead of women, that's a little narrow, do n't you think?'' 
 
 Dominick snickered and repeated `` narrow'' under his breath. Maxwell rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Daniel. 
 
 `` Danny, sweetheart, being a man's all about being true to your own feelings and not being afraid to express them! Everyone's good at letting the world know when they're in a good mood, but lots of men --'' Maxwell jerked his head in Dominick's direction, receiving a scowl in return, `` -- bottle up their other emotions, and that's no good! Sometimes you've just got to cry or shout! Trust me, Danny, when you're comfortable with yourself, you'll find a good man by your side in no time!... Well, I guess a good *woman* in your case, but you catch my drift, right?'' 
 
 `` Max, you're a little close,'' Daniel replied. Maxwell was gripping both of his shoulders and had been moving closer to him bit by bit during his impassioned speech. He quickly drew back, giggling mischievously to himself. 
 
 `` Guess I got a little carried away there, huh? Oh well, wishing for something wo n't make it come true!'' Maxwell added the last cryptic sentence in a singsong voice. 
 
 `` I get what you're saying, Max,'' said Daniel. `` Is n't that important for everybody though? That ca n't just be a man thing.'' 
 
 Maxwell balked. `` Er... hmm. You've got me there!'' He flashed another winning smile. 
 
 `` Do n't listen to those two idiots.'' 
 
 Their last companion finally spoke up, his gravelly voice belying his consternation with his coworkers' antics. Charles, one of the company's janitors, was already on his third beer, and appeared to have taken a shot of something when the rest of them were n't looking. If the creases around his eyes and mouth did n't give away his age, the rapidly receding salt-and-pepper hair certainly did. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and spoke without looking at Daniel, leaving his gaze unfocused. 
 
 `` They're nice fellas, but they lack discipline.'' 
 
 `` Did they teach you discipline before or after moppin', Chuck?'' Dominick cackled, nudging him a bit with his elbow. 
 
 `` Har har,'' Charles replied dryly. `` Why are you always out here chasing tail, Dominick? You're a successful young man with a bright future. I'll bet one of your'fillies' would gladly settle down with you. So why?'' 
 
 Dominick shrank back to his barstool, muttering something about commitment and scheming liars under his breath. Charles turned to Maxwell next, causing the latter to wilt under his stern gaze. 
 
 `` And you, flapping your gums willy-nilly. Did n't your parents teach you about moderation?'' 
 
 Maxwell opened his mouth to protest, but Charles put a finger to his own lips first. Maxwell went back to pouting dejectedly. 
 
 `` A man's got to have principles, and the conviction to stand by them,'' Charles rasped, downing a large swig of his beer. `` A man needs faith, and the discipline to abide by it. You're from around here, Daniel. I'm sure you grew up like that.'' 
 
 Daniel furrowed his brow. `` I think you're all oversimplifying it,'' he responded. `` Funny thing is, I think you're all saying the same thing, just in different ways. And I do n't think any of you are really wrong.'' He grinned at the confused faces of his coworkers. 
 
 `` Well then, what do you think makes a man, Daniel?'' Charles inquired. 
 
 `` I've never really thought about it,'' admitted Daniel, `` but... I think my dad did a good job of showing me what it was to be a man. I know that sounds corny, but that's how it is. Growing up, a lot of my friends never knew their dads. Some of them left before they were born, some gave up after a few years of trying, but most of them left sooner or later. Having someone there to teach you how to ride a bike, shave, and drive a car does n't seem like a big deal, but when you're the only inner-city kid to bring your father to class for Parents' Day, you feel like he's damn near Superman.'' Daniel took another drink, this one much longer, before going on. `` He was there for my high school graduation. He was the first person I called when I got this internship. And he's gon na be there next spring when I graduate, telling me how proud he is, like he always does. He's got his flaws like everybody else, and we still argue all the time... but if I can do even half as good of a job of being a man as he did, I think I'll be alright.'' 
 
 The others were in complete silence by this point. Dominick and Maxwell were completely glued to Daniel, their drinks long since forgotten. Charles thoughtfully drained the remaining contents of his bottle, waving away the bartender's offer to bring him another. Daniel finished his beer and got up from his bar stool to leave. 
 
 `` Good story, kid,'' Charles called after him. `` We play poker on Thursdays at 9 over at Dom's. Come along sometime.'' 
 
 Daniel smiled widely. `` I'll be there.'' 
 
 `` Sure you do n't wan na have a few more drinks, Danny?'' asked Dominick. `` Night's still young, y'know.'' 
 
 `` Sorry guys,'' Daniel replied, shaking his head, `` it's been great, but I've got one more birthday tradition.'' 
 
 After some cheers, another toast, and a round of goodbyes, Daniel left the bar and walked out into the warm August evening air. He took his phone out of his pocket and checked his inbox. There was one unread message from his father. 
 
 *Happy birthday Daniel! Do n't forget, we're visiting your mother at 7! * 
 
 Daniel typed up a hasty reply as he made his way to the bus stop. 
 
 *Had a drink with guys from the office. On my way. * 
 
 He paused before sending it, then added, 
 
 *Love you, Pops. * 
 
 Daniel stepped onto the bus and put his headphones in his ears once he found a seat. He was n't getting off for another nine stops, and the music would put his mind at ease before visiting his mother. Daniel scoffed at the idea of forgetting to see her. It was just a turn of phrase, but he and his father knew he could n't possibly forget. After all, they'd been paying their respects at the cemetery every August 7th for the last 21 years.
