[ WP ] Everyone except for your psychiatrist thinks you 're crazy . You lie down to have another productive session with Doctor Marshmallow McSnugglesworth PsyD .

“ I just have this uncontrollable urge to murder and decimate! Do people who really don ’ t understand the ramifications of the aliens from Mars existing within our very own senior citizen communities being allowed to roam around? Don ’ t you see, old people are just shells, we die naturally at 55! They fabricated the existence of longer lifespans just to integrate themselves into our society as old people! ” I said, laying on a red velvet couch. 
 
 Squeak squeak. Squeaked Doctor Marshmallow McSnugglesworth, PsyD. I looked over to him, and he was this beautiful teddy bear with a suit on. He had been my constant companion ever since I was in highschool. He understood me. 
 
 I nodded, “ Of course. It ’ s hard to prove that to people, because if you tell someone their Great Aunt Janet, who always gave them cookies, was actually a deadly alien from outerspace… They ’ d flip out! ” 
 
 Squeak. 
 
 I sat up, and furrowed my brow, “ I understand your concern, Doctor, but I need to be as vigilant as I can be. If I don ’ t shout it, no one else will. My grandparents were exposed early to me by my hero… Without him, I ’ d have never realized the truth either. Captain of the S.S. Truth, Captain Assfucksupreme991 knew what I needed to know, and taught me. I can ’ t let his teachings go to waste here… ” I said, looking down at my blood-soaked hands. 
 
 Squeak? 
 
 “ Oh, this? I just… I just got finished taking care of my friend ’ s intruders. If I hadn ’ t, he ’ d have continued being brainwashed like no one ’ s business. ” I said, Wiping my palms on my shirt to get rid of some of the blood. I wiped it on the red velvet too. I just got more blood on my hands somehow. It was actually pretty impressive just how nonsensical it was. Unless I had wiped more blood on it, there shouldn ’ t BE blood… 
 
 I tried again, and I just got more blood. Gross. 
 
 Squeak. 
 
 “ You have a real blood couch problem, you know? Maybe you should order a new one, otherwise we ’ re just going to have this issue time and time aga -- ” 
 
 “ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ” A shrill shriek pierced the calm atmosphere in the room, as a girl entered the office, and stared directly at me and Dr. Marshmallow. She stammered, “ W-what did you… Do…? Brian, what did you do? ” 
 “ Freed your from your grandparents. ” I answered, nonchalantly.
