[ WP ] You 're relaxing at home when you hear a knock on the door . You look outside and see an angry mob of people that includes ( but is not limited to ) hot singles in your area and a rich Nigerian prince , here to confront you about all the unanswered emails you 've received .

`` Brett! Your time has come! Face us!'' 
 
 *What the hell... * I paused Grim Fandango and walked over to my window and gently pulled back the curtain to reveal a finely dressed man with a horde of what seemed to be hot middle-aged singles. I heard the sound of glass shattering. Alarmed, I sprinted into my living room to find a broken window and a rock on the floor with a note taped to it- *Why did n't you reply? I was hot for you... * Confused, I looked out the window and saw the well-dressed man giggle and wave before re-assuming his look of determination and walking up the path to my door. 
 
 Despite all the commotion, the knock on my door was quiet and civil. As if nothing odd was occurring whatsoever, I nonchalantly opened the door. 
 
 `` Hello, I am a Nigerian prince and am about to come into a large sum of money. I am willing to forward you one million dollars if you simply give me your credit card, social security number, mother's maiden name, address, and your date of birth for safe keeping and to confirm this transaction. If you might need a piece of paper to write all of this information down, I have a notepad and pen you may use.'' The man awkwardly forced his notepad into my hand. He went about these things in such a formal, nearly robotic manner, that one might be inclined to believe that he did this often. 
 
 `` Uh... No, no thanks, I'm fine.'' The man stood there, smiling creepily. I waited a moment to see if he would leave, `` Could you... Would you mind... Leave?'' 
 
 The mans smile slowly transformed into a frightening sneer. `` What? You think you're to good for us? Are you to busy to respond to our emails? We were just trying to be nice, and you spit in our faces!'' 
 
 `` What? No, I always just assumed it was a scam. I thought you were trying to steal my money!'' By now I was quickly retreating into my home. I tried to shut the door, but the man ( with a distinguishing French accent ) shoved his foot into the way. By now I was starting to panic, `` Get away! All of you!'' 
 
 `` Oh, so now you're trying to shut us out again? Girls, let's get him!'' The prince, whose name tag read: `` Chuck'', had tears streaming down his face as he held the door open for the horde of sexy singles flooding into my house. My dog, Maggot, tried to stop them as I ran upstairs, but was quickly torn apart and eaten by the singles. 
 
 `` Brett! Come downstairs! We just want to sleep with you!'' I could scarcely hear the sound of the girl's voice over the sound of the hundreds of singles clambering up the stairs. I panicked and ran to hide under my bed just as the first of the girls were reaching the top of the stairs. 
 
 `` Honey? Where are you?'' A girl with a deceptively sweet voice wandered into my bedroom, where I was hiding, Maggot's blood still dripping off her face. 
 
 `` *Holy shit. *'' I whispered, barely able to hear it myself, but before I realized what was happening, the girls face, covered in blood that was n't hers, appeared in front of me, her coal black eyes looking directly at me. 
 
 `` Hello.'' 
 
 I screamed as she pulled me out of my hiding place, my nails scratching and clawing at the carpet. Desperate to escape, I kicked back at her, striking her several times in the chest, but it was no use. A horde of singles flooded into my room. Chuck spoke up, `` You also would have won the Spanish lottery...'' 
 
 To the sound of Chuck's maniacal laughter, the sexy singles pulled out my intestines and started devouring them. My final thought before Death's enticing embrace claimed me was: *shit! I'll never get to see if Manny makes it to the ninth underworld! * 
 

