[ WP ] You jump . Your parachute does n't open .

`` ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A GOOD IDEA HONEY?'' I yelled to my new wife as I looked down towards the ground from the cockpit of our small airplane. Skydiving was not my idea of a honeymoon activity. 
 
 `` LOOK BABE, I'VE ALREADY GOT A PUSSY, I DO N'T NEED ANOTHER ONE,'' she said sweetly before nonchalantly stepping out of the airplane. 
 
 Damnit. This was crazy. I did n't even like going on rollercoasters, this was completely nuts. 
 
 But I could n't not. I had to prove I was a man to my darling lover, especially considering that tonight was the night that she promised we would finally'do it'. 
 
 I took a deep breath as I slowly stepped over to the edge for one final look before making the jump; at least that was the plan. I ended up tripping with my left foot over my other left food and fell somersaulting from the plane. 
 
 `` ARGHAGAHRAAAAAHAHRHAGHAGHARAAAAAAAAAAH!'' I said calmly as I fell through the air whilst gravity relentlessly bullied me towards increased velocities. 
 
 I reached to open my parachute but as I did I found that the pocket I was instructed to pull the string from was empty, except for a small piece of paper. I pulled out the paper and brought it to my eye's, it read: *thanks for the money loser. * 
 
 Shit.... Somebody had forgotten to pack my parachute properly and mistakenly put some sort of reverse I.O.U. inside of it instead! 
 
 My death was inevitable. I thought of all the people that would be crushed, the thousands that would show up weeping at my funeral. My innocent widowed wife forced to face the reality of mortality before she got to'do it' with her true love... I could n't take it.. It was too much... I closed my eyes and prayed... 
 
 **SMACK PANCAKE BELLY FLOP ON GROUND BLOOD SPLATTERS EVERYWHERE** 
 
 /r/PsychoWritingPrompts
