[ WP ] You just died . You find out that all versions of the afterlife actually do exist , for every religion ever imagined . Everyone goes to the `` heaven '' that corresponds to their beliefs . Problem is , you are an atheist .

They all stood before me: The pearly gates, highway to hell, all of it. And I just stood there. 
 `` Welcome!'' Shouted an angel above my head. He had a surprisingly masculine voice, but the body of a small child. His wings were off-white, like the clouds I was standing on. `` Atheist, right?'' 
 I rubbed my arm, nervous. `` Yeah...'' 
 `` Well, let's have the big guys talk about your life. You been good?'' 
 `` I think so...'' 
 `` Done any killing, raping, etcetera?'' 
 `` No...'' 
 He nodded, smiled, then flew off. I waited there for what seemed like years, watching everyone else go into their afterlife. Resurrection, nirvana, whatever it was they thought was gon na happen, it happened. A line formed behind me. It was filled with people who thought the same way I did, and I could tell. They were all atheists, like me. The angel flew back. `` Good news!'' He exclaimed, grinning. 
 `` Yeah?'' 
 `` Feel free to choose whichever afterlife you want! I hear hell is n't all that bad. They got all sorts of fun people down there. But heaven has a lot of good people too! The abyss is pretty dull, but Hades has all sorts of cool heroes. Anyhow, make your choice. Whatever you want.'' 
 I turned around, looked at the miserable people behind me, and walked. I do n't remember where. God knows, it's been decades. But I've loved all of it. All the parties, all the music, all the divine food, everything.
