[ WP ] The largest pirate ship of the 1700 's is transported in time to 2014 where the crew encounters a lone modern day U.S. Navy battleship . Thinking they can destroy it , the pirate ship decides to attack the battleship . What happens next from the point of view of the crew of the battleship ?

`` HEY DADDY!'' 
 
 `` HEY SWEETY! I miss you so much, but it's almost 10:00 there, and you need to get to bed so you can be ready for school tomorrow. Can you do that for mommy and I?'' 
 
 `` Yeah! Goodnight!'' 
 
 From the mess hall of the USS Robinson, Ensign Roland watched over Skype as his daughter dashed out of frame, leaving only his beautiful wife Clara staring back at him. 
 
 `` So, honey, you are NOT going to believe what happened today. It was HILARIOUS.'' 
 
 `` What happened, Roy? What event could POSSIBLY break the monotony of being stationed on a battleship?'' 
 
 `` Well, I'm not sure how to describe it, but I think we we may have had a naval battle with some performance artists.'' 
 
 `` Really? How?'' 
 
 Well, we were maintaining our course to that port in Jamaica, when we spotted a ship approaching us. Like a pirate ship-'' 
 
 `` But I thought piracy really only happened openly off the horn of Africa-'' 
 
 `` No, not like Captain Phelps pirates. Like Captain Jack Sparrow pirates. It was, and I am NOT making this up, a legitimate Tallship. With sails, ropes, the skull and crossbones, and even replica CANNONS. It was SO COOL. But they had n't filed a manifest, and were n't flying any legitimate national flags, so we had to approach them. Frankly, if they had even responded to our hails over the radio, we could have just coordinated over the airwaves and no one would be worse for wear. But they maintained radio silence.'' 
 
 `` Weird.'' 
 
 `` Yeah. So we approached the ship, and we see that EVERYONE aboard is dressed in period garb. They were going for ACCURACY, they were. Dedicated to their craft. By the time we pulled alongside their boat, we could even SMELL them.'' 
 
 Roland made a comical gagging noise, causing his sweetheart to laugh warmly. 
 
 `` Anyway, the `` Captain'' emerges from his quarters and starts demanding our surrender. We reply that they are free to go, as long as they head back to the nearest port to submit a proper manifest, but he just keeps going on about how they want to'keel-haul' us and'claim our booty', which was especially funny because you know exactly how little I earn as navy man. But they just keep getting riled up as our Captain keeps telling them to cease and desist. Then, they start going for their cannons-'' 
 
 `` NO-'' 
 
 `` YEAH. Like with actual cannonballs and stuff. So the captain signaled to me to fire on them.'' 
 
 `` WHAT? Like with shells?'' 
 
 `` No, no, no: we keep a few grenade launchers on the deck, as well as a good supply of Tear Gas canisters. I fired a few of them onto the other ship, even getting a few into the cargo hold, and suddenly they're all going crazy, as if they've never been tear gassed before, and crying to their God in heaven to forgive them for their scallywaggin' ways and stuff. They cowered in fear of us as we boarded to cut down their sails, and vowed that they would remain civil as we hailed the Coast Guard to come pick them up. But even, after all of that, they did NOT break character, even feigning ignorance when we declared ourselves as naval officers of the United States of America. They claimed they'd never heard of it, and I almost believed them. I was IMPRESSED.'' 
 
 After a few minutes of warm laughter, Clara sighed and stared back into his eyes through the webcam. `` Well, now you can say you fought off some big, bad, evil Pirates. I miss you so much. Come home safe, okay?'' 
 
 `` Yeah, we will. But it may take a little longer than anticipated before we come back into port. You see, when we searched their ship, we found this treasure map-'' 
 
 `` SHUT UP. Now I know you're just messing with me. I've got ta put Riley to sleep. Seeya this time tomorrow?'' 
 
 `` Hopefully. Get some rest.'' 
 
 `` Love you!'' 
 
 The screen went blank, leaving the Ensign alone in the mess hall. As he turned away from the laptop, he took another brief look at the old map spread out on the table before him, letting out a small chuckle as he tapped his finger above the prominent red'X' painted on it's surface.
