[ WP ] Non-traditional families are quite common these days , but yours might just be the strangest of them all . You werenraised by the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse

When I was 10, my uncle and aunt died. To be honest, I did not feel too sorry, or sad. They were n't there when my parents were killed. But that's a soppy story, and I do n't like those. No, I was saved from the orphanage but death. And before you think I killed myself, I did not. I was saved, saved from being another grim statistic, saved from self pity, and most importantly, saved from what every person fears. A mundane life. 
 
 
 Death is n't what most people think he is. He is no grim reaper, no man in a cloaked hood, no evil soul. He would always like to claim he was a fit body builder, though in truth, he was epitomised death. A bald, greying man, growing a nice pudge alongside a potential heart attack. He looked better in his younger years, malnourished and rotting away, yellow skin tugging at his ribcage. He certainly looked fit. Famine always told him that, which probably perpetuated myth of his fearsomeness. Probably helped Famine anyway, fear of Death sparked fear of Famine. Famkne liked these things, he usually told me `` I love hunger like I love your dad''. Do n't ask me how Famine and Death gave birth to War and Conquest. Speaking of War and Conquest, my sister was usually never up to any good. Most people think that War and Conquest are separate, but they are not. Or at least they are not. You see, in 1991, my sister got a surgery to remove her conjoined twin, which in hindsight, ended disastrously. Now she has two responsibilities and all I hear her do is complain. Neither would I want her to take a holiday, last time she went to Aleppo, we know how it went. I sure as hell wo n't let her K-Pop obsession get the better of her. This time, even Pestilence agrees, for a stubborn aunt, that's rare. Politically, Pestilence could be defined as `` center of the right'', so finding out Pestilence loved Communism was much more than an irony. Pestilence and Famine both refused to let War and Conquest go to Korea, and it was very funny. 
 
 
 `` You do n't control me! I love Korea! The Kimpap, the teopoki!'' 
 
 
 `` Sure as hell young lady! If you go, hunger and disease will end! You ca n't control yourself. You ca n't let there be'small skirmishes'. No, you ca n't go!'' 
 
 
 Being forced to sit through these arguments once a day was pretty boring and it was even worse once I started getting blamed. 
 
 `` Pollution! What the hell are you doing? Why are you not convincing your sister that industrial waste alone kills more than war could ever!'' 
 
 
 Usually I just let Death solve everything. After all, Death does solve everything. He is a very fair father who never needs to judge our actions, just our impact.
