[ WP ] A man orders a `` cheese pizza with no crust '' from a local pizza delivery joint as a joke . Unbeknownst to him , that pizza joint is a drug front and he just placed an order for a kilo of cocaine .

The knock shattered the blaring silence in my apartment and my body jerked into wakefulness, nearly falling off the couch. I glanced blearily at my phone. It was 3:00 am. What kind of asshole comes knocking at 3:00 am? 
 
 `` Who the fuck...'', I muttered as I stumbled to the door. I looked through the eyepiece. A pizza delivery guy. 
 
 I guess this probably has to do with Matt fucking with them earlier. He thought it would be hilarious to order a cheese pizza with no crust. What an idiot. At least it was better than the time he got us kicked out of Panda Garden by repeatedly yelling `` Konichiwa!'' at the managers. 
 
 The pizza lady on the line had been completely unfazed by the request. They must have people like Matt call them all the time. 
 
 `` Great sir, that'll be $ 20 000. Cash upfront?'' she had said when Matt made his order. What a genius way to shut up a prank caller. Matt laughed and sarcastically agreed before hanging up, and we soon forgot all about the stupid call, enjoying the rest of the evening. Until Matt headed back to his girlfriend's place. 
 
 But now there was a pizza delivery guy outside my door. Was I being pranked back for what happened earlier? Was Matt messing around with me? I looked the guy up and down. 
 
 Come to think of it, he did n't really look like a pizza delivery guy. Sure, he had the outfit and the pizza box, but he did n't look quite right. He was turned sideways, looking down the hall towards the stairs. He was like a statue, one hand on the box, the other in a bag he had at his side. Even his pants did n't seem quite right. They looked like they belonged on an expensive suit, not on a pizza delivery guy. 
 
 He reached out, eyes never leaving the stairs, and knocked again. The movement was almost robotic, his arm returning to the exact same position in the bag as before. 
 
 Seeing no way around it, I opened the door, fumbling with my wallet as I searched for a couple of bills in the grim light. 
 
 `` Money in the bag,'' he said. I looked up and he was right in front of me holding the bag open. I did n't even notice him moving towards me, he was just there. I gawked at him as he stared back at me, expressionless. 
 
 `` How... how much?'' I asked, surprised at how stiff my tongue felt. 
 
 `` 20 K, as agreed.'' 
 
 This had to be Matt pranking me. What pizza place would do this? 
 
 `` Where's the money?'' The man's hand was in the bag again. He was holding something. I could see his forearm twitch as he rhythmically squeezed it. He reminded me of a crouching predator, his composure a glassy pond that could be disturbed by the slightest breath. 
 
 I struggled to answer his question. 
 
 `` Where's the money?'' The man stepped towards me, pulling his hand slightly out of the bag and revealing the sinister glint of a blade. I could n't breathe. 
 
 He took another step, a hint of a smile appearing on his stone features. There's no way Matt would be smart enough to pull off something like this. 
 
 In desperation, I squeaked `` Show me,'' and gestured towards the pizza box. 
 
 He let go of the knife and pulled open the box, revealing a huge amount of white powder split between several bags. Either somebody had decided to give me a $ 20 000 flour delivery or this was cocaine. 
 
 `` I do n't want this,'' I said feebly. 
 
 He smiled crookedly and set down the box, pulling out his knife. `` If you're not a buyer, you ca n't know about us. He stepped towards me again, his eyes shining with hunger. 
 
 *Fuck. * 
 
 I needed to do something. I looked around for anything that I could use, but all I could see were the food wrappers that Matt and I had left on the couch while we were drinking. 
 
 *Wait. * 
 
 `` Hold on, I have a money stash behind the couch! I'll give you everything!'' I was practically squealing in my fear. 
 
 The man narrowed his eyes. `` 20 K?'' 
 
 `` No but it's a start. I'll give you all of it, you can take whatever you like.'' 
 
 His eyes narrowed to slits, and he grabbed me by the right arm, ready to snap it in an instant. He laid me over the couch, agonizingly twisting my arm. 
 
 `` Grab it then,'' he whispered in my ear. 
 
 I looked over the back of the couch and reached down desperately. For one of the beer bottles that Matt had dropped back there. My hand brushed one and I shakily grasped it. 
 
 Then it tapped against the wall. 
 
 *clink* 
 
 Everything happened at once. The sound of glass triggered the man like a coiled spring. He savagely snapped my arm, but I could hardly feel the pain as I whirled towards him. I felt more resistance in my shoulder, but ignored it as I continued to spin, hearing another snap as my arm was mangled in an instant. I blindly slammed the bottle into his skull and he reeled back, reaching for his knife in vile rage. I was already slamming the door behind me by the time he regained his senses. 
 
 I ran.
