[ WP ] You 're the time traveler who killed Hitler . As punishment for damaging the timeline , you 're sentenced to REPLACE Hitler .

`` Dude, you're literally worse than Hitler,'' John said, he was still talkin -- though I'd honestly tuned out around the time I realized this was n't the right universe. I must've swapped an 0 with an O, zigged when I should've zagged or just took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. 
 
 It did n't really matter, though John was no babbling on about my punishment, something about going back to my fuhr torture and killing 1.28 jews or something like that. 
 
 Like I said, I was n't really paying attention to John and his constant incessant blathering -- `` You ca n't just kill Hitler, you just ca n't! And you said this was a *game*? Do this look like a fucking game to you.'' 
 
 `` Right, no. This looks like i'm at the wrong place at the wrong time, John,'' I said, `` But hey, I did learn something from this whole experience...'' 
 
 `` And what's that?'' John's gratting voice scratched at my ears like a bristle pads. 
 
 `` Well, first I learned that everyone seems to really hate Hitler -- I do n't get the distain for his art work, personally -- but hey, to each his own.'' 
 
 I did n't even look up at John as i fiddled with my Portal Gun, `` And Secondly, I learned that you're nothing but an asshole in every universe I go too, I mean I already knew that to being with, but I figured I might as well tell this version of you the same thing I told the last version of you.'' 
 
 `` Guards!'' John shouted. 
 
 `` Right, Call for your goonies,'' My finger quivered as I pointed the gun at the wall, `` Good luck with that and good luck with your uncultured life style.'' 
 
 I pulled the trigger and instead of a brilliant splash of swirly whitish-green light, i was greeted by a thunking sound from the device. As the guards flung me down to the ground, I shouted:'' Well, fuck.'' 
 
 ** 
 
 The whole time travel business is fun but there's two modes of travel with two drastically different forms of fun. The first version, my version, the one and only true version -- involves flying yourself into reverse at faster than light speeds ( This only works for backwards time-travel ), it's a thrill ride and fun as hell. 
 
 The other version is a bit more... boring. Around the year 2096, after trying for damn near a century to successfully preserver the human body through cryogenics -- the Costa'Iv Qel Corporation discovered by sheer accident that cryogenics does n't preserver people for the future, but rather for the past. It was a bit of a shocking revelation that was given a lot of flack until the day that someone woke up in the past and change the timeline so that it was common sense; in that timeline C.I.Q corp died out and was considered the largest laugh shock in the past century. 
 
 When i finally came too in the past -- I found myself yawning louder than I'd ever yawned in my life. My hands rubbed at my eyes, flicked at the small patch of hair that tickled my nose every time I breathed. I was standing outside of a school -- the place looked familar. I had something in my hand, it looked like art work. When exactly had they thawed me? I was n't sure. I kinda felt like I'd just smoked the biggest joint in my life. 
 
 I started walking into the school. Something told me i was supposed to talk to someone here. Was n't sure who, did n't really care -- I was sorta in a good mood, nicer than I'd ever been in my life. Hell, I maybe I should commit more Crono Crimes when this is done and over with. 
 
 I stared at the art in my hand, it was really good -- real pretty and fun to stare at -- I had the impression that I'd drawn it, though I do n't remember doing it. I had the sudden urge to show this to someone, anyone at all. 
 I was standing in front of a vaguely familar looking person. I handed it to him and slurred something in German. 
 
 He looked at me and in perfect english said [ `` Fuck off kid, you'll never amount to anything'' ] ( https: //www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/46qkd4/wpkilling_hitler_has_become_a_sport_amongst_time/d077rhk? context=3 ) 

