[ WP ] Write the letter that you always wanted to , but never did .

Dear Subway, 
 
 Why the FUCK do n't you have BBQ sauce at every store? This is in fact America right? Do you not realize this beautiful, obese nation loves BBQ sauce? It is like the number 1 sauce yet you do not have it in most stores. This is mind blowingly absurd. In the wake of the Jared scandal you could at least do something to satisfy the masses. Make us forget your figure head for 15 years was a creepy pedophile. When I get an average tasting steak and cheese sub on your average, overrated bread, I at least want to drench it in sauce to make it taste a little bit better. Is n't that what your company prides itself on? The ability to customize a sub? The ability to eat fresh? If you do n't have the MOST POPULAR SAUCE in America, how the fuck can I eat fresh? I'm eating like a silly little fool while you parade around Ryan Howard like a God. He is no God. I'm God motherfucker. I want my delicious BBQ sauce next time I go there. Oh, what's that you got there, southwest chipotle sauce? Is... is....is that a thing now? It ai n't. It's not cute. Be a man, step up your game, and get back to me. BBQ sauce or GTFO. 
 
 Regards, 
 
 An unsatisfied occasional customer
