[ WP ] George Washington is reanimated and uses his rank of General of the Armies to take control of the military .

`` And just like that, Zombie George Washington brought back Guns, Christianity, and the Constitution back to the United Sta --'' 
 
 `` Goddamnit, are you writing your conservative fanfictions again?'' his mother's voice hollers over the summer heat. 
 
 `` I-It's not fanfiction!'' the uber-right wing redneck turned away and flopped back onto his bead, sobbing. 
 
 `` It's not f-fanfiction,'' he cradled his Ronald Reagan portrait as he rocked back and forth, `` It's not.'' 
 
 ~ 
 
 `` And just like that, Zombie George Washington taught those luddites that America is a land meant for education, freedom, and equali --'' 
 
 `` Goddamnit, are you writing your liberal fanfictions again?'' his mother's voice hollers over the summer heat. 
 
 `` I-It's not fanfiction!'' the uber-left wing neckbeard turned away and flopped back onto his bead, sobbing. 
 
 `` It's not f-fanfiction,'' he cradled his Carl Sagan portrait as he rocked back and forth, `` It's not.''
