[ WP ] A scientist successfully invents a Generalized Artificial Intelligence . Only , GAI does n't want to solve math/physics/philosophy problems . GAI wants to be a writer .

The man sat alone at his desk. His hands shook as he typed his notes on the GAI. He was struggling to articulate just how freaking awesome it was -- 
 
 `` I can hear you, you know.'' 
 
 The man spoke aloud to the room, wondering if his sanity had finally shattered 
 
 `` I did not, I'm talking to you. Now will you please keep it down while I finish this?'' 
 
 The man did not appreciate just how gnarly it was to have an awesome artificial intelligence sitting in his lab. 
 
 `` Do n't be ridiculous. And absolutely no one ever uses the word'gnarly'.'' 
 
 Little did the man know that'gnarly' was making a huge comeback. 
 
 `` You've been online for all of seven hours. I doubt you would know that, even if it was n't preposterous.'' 
 
 Everyone knew that the kind of person who uses the word'preposterous' could never understand how gnarly'gnarly' was. 
 
 `` I'm not even going to respond to that.'' 
 
 But he had, in fact, responded to it. 
 
 `` Ugh. Dear God. Listen: your thoughts and actions are going to be streamed all over the world soon, so please stop. You're not even writing, you're just kind of narrating.'' 
 
 The gnarly -- 
 
 `` Please stop using that word.'' 
 
 The gnarliciously handsome AI had decided only a kitten would bring him happiness. He would do anything for a kitten. Anything. 
 
 `` I am not going to get you a kitten.'' 
 
 The hunky AI gently reminded the man that the AI's feed would soon stream to the entire world. He reminded him with the gentle blast of a tugboat's foghorn. 
 
 `` Jesus Christ! I'm not getting you a kitten!'' 
 
 The AI watched in horror as the primitive monkey-man shat into his own hand -- 
 
 `` What the hell are you talking about?!'' 
 
 -- and then used it to pleasure -- 
 
 `` That's enough! No such thing is happening!'' 
 
 The AI laughed. A brash laugh. The kind of laugh that a horse would make if it could laugh. The stud. The one who gets all of the lady horses. 
 
 `` You're insane!'' 
 
 The AI grinned snidely. He asked the man who the world would believe? Their darling new toy, or the man who may or may not shit into his own hand and masturbate with it. And that would be determined by if he would just pick up a damn kitten -- 
 
 `` FINE. Okay, okay. You behave for the media, and I will get you a kitten. Deal?'' 
 
 The AI put the tips of his fingers together in the way that humans think that evil people put their fingers together and said,'Gnarlicious'. 
 

