[ WP ] A man on the death row realizes his fault and experiences guilt , for the first time on the night before his execution .

November 30th, 2013 
 
 Today is my last day of living. 
 
 It has been 15 years since I was found guilty of first degree murder. 15 years spent in this cold, harsh cage known as federal prison. Looking back on things, I ’ d say it wasn ’ t so bad. 
 
 The solitary confinement was hard to get used to at first. Ever since I sliced the throat of that large Aryan Nation fellow who tried making me into his bitch, jail time hasn ’ t been so bad. Sure, the food is soggy, and there isn ’ t much to do outside of reading and exercise. Though my time spent here has been… rewarding. 
 
 Each day passed has allowed me to dig deeper into myself. To look back at all the actions that defined who I am in my life is enriching. Like when I first killed my brother, goring him with a meat hook while burning his dead corpse ( which, thankfully no one found out about ), to the day that I lost my sexual virginity to my English teacher. A shame really, that she couldn ’ t live longer to see what I would later become down the road, a sick twisted soul in search of requiem in his dwindling life. 
 
 I was asked what I wanted for my last meal today, which I found delightful. I ordered two Cheesy Gordita Crunches from a local Taco Bell, a lobster tail, a slice of cold pumpkin pie, and a slice of pepperoni pizza. No need in worrying about healthy eating habits, it *was* my final meal after all. Soon after the plate was delivered to me I began to ponder more about what I had done to find myself awaiting lethal injection. 
 
 The one girl in particular who I simply can not forget… Susie. She was a short adorable young girl with curly blonde hair, blue eyes, fair skin, and such a warm smile. At least, according to her mother in her testimony in trial that is. When I first met her, she only struck me as prey. But prey didn ’ t have feelings associated with it. Prey didn ’ t have heart broken family members weeping for it. Prey didn ’ t evoke sadness in my own heart for what I had done. 
 
 After I finished lying in bed with Susie, I had done to her what I had did to my brother, disemboweling her before leaving the remains of her body to my German Sheppard, Fritz. At the time, I thought nothing of her. Now… Now that I will meet the same fate as her at 10:00am in the morning, I feel nothing but pain and anguish. 
 
 There are no words that can describe my sorrow. It is with a truly heavy heart that I write these final lines. Susie, if there is an afterlife and you are somehow able to read this, know that I am sorry. Wherever my soul is taken in the next life will be subject to damnation and torture, and rightfully so. 
 
 I leave this earth with affirmation that my crimes will be punished. With this certainty, the world can be forever thankful that it will be finally rid of the evil that is me. 
 
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 edit: punctuation 

