[ WP ] There are 6 people on an elevator . It suddenly shuts down and a voice from the speaker said : The elevator will only function if there is only one left alive .

`` ATTENTION OCCUPANTS.'' 
 
 The people in the elevator shuffled in place, confused. One man pushed the `` open door'' button without success. Faces turned upwards, trying to locate the source of the voice. 
 
 `` THIS ELEVATOR WILL RESUME NORMAL FUNCTION UPON SATISFACTION OF OPERATIONAL PARAMETERS.'' 
 
 An older gentleman, wearing a tweed jacket and holding a worn leather briefcase, cleared his throat. `` What operational parameters?'' 
 
 `` ONLY ONE OCCUPANT MAY LIVE.'' 
 
 The people gasped. One woman fainted, knocking her head against the wall as she fell. A young boy grinned. 
 
 `` One down, I guess,'' said the boy. 
 
 `` NEGATORY, OCCUPANT. SHE IS MERELY INCAPACITATED.'' 
 
 `` Oh.'' The boy's shoulders slumped. 
 
 The older gentleman looked around at the others in the crowd. `` Well, this is quite awkward. Perhaps we should wait for rescue?'' 
 
 The others nodded. A woman in a purple pantsuit raised her hand. `` We'll have to, I'm afraid.'' She grimaced. `` Sorry to say, but I'm actually an immortal angel and can not be killed by any normal means.'' 
 
 The crowd groaned. 
 
 `` I'm immortal, too,'' mumbled the young boy. `` An ancient wizard cursed me to remain this way forever, no matter what. Only his death can release me.'' 
 
 `` Did you hear, elevator?'' asked the older gentleman. `` We've got two immortals here—'' 
 
 `` Three, actually,'' said a voice from the back. `` I was given supernatural healing powers, I ca n't be killed before my body heals itself.'' The voice paused. `` Sorry for the inconvenience.'' 
 
 `` Is there anyone here who *isn't* immortal?'' asked the woman in the pantsuit. The others looked around in silence. She looked at the older gentleman, `` You?'' 
 
 `` Not immortal, no, just psychically-linked with the endless plane of the Infinity Zone,'' he replied. `` Sadly, none of you can kill me, that's for sure. Not so long as I retain my psychic link. Which ca n't be broken.'' 
 
 The woman in the pantsuit turned to a short Mexican woman clutching a small dog. `` What about you? Do n't tell me that you're immortal too.'' 
 
 `` No, senorita,'' replied the Mexican woman, `` but Felipe here'' —she held up her dog—'' is visiting from the planet Canus Permanentus, where his reign has lasted for millennia.'' The dog barked. `` He can not be harmed by human means.'' 
 
 The woman in the pantsuit sighed. `` Elevator, does the dog count?'' she asked. 
 
 `` AFFIRMATIVE, OCCUPANT.'' 
 
 `` Oh great,'' she grumbled. `` The *dog* counts.'' 
 
 `` Well, you might as well resume normal operations, elevator,'' suggested the older gentleman. `` We ca n't be killed.'' 
 
 `` THIS ELEVATOR WILL RESUME NORMAL FUNCTION UPON SATISFACTION OF OPERATIONAL PARAMETERS.'' 
 
 The crowd groaned again. 
 
 `` Uh, excuse me, Mr. Elevator?'' asked the Mexican woman. `` I was on my way to take Felipe on a walk. If we do not hurry, he is going to pee on the floor.'' 
 
 `` He ca n't do that!'' protested the woman in the pantsuit. `` I refuse to stand in dog piss.'' 
 
 `` Actually,'' chimed the older gentleman, `` if we do n't get moving, I may also contribute to this elevator's collection of organic waste material.'' 
 
 `` English, *please*,'' complained the young boy. 
 
 `` I'm going to shit on the floor,'' clarified the older gentleman. 
 
 `` Me too!'' said the voice from the back. 
 
 The crowd waited for the elevator's response. 
 
 `` YOUR TERMS ARE ACCEPTABLE. OPERATIONAL PARAMETERS HAVE BEEN SHIFTED. PROCEEDING TO MAIN LOBBY.'' 
 
 The crowd cheered as the elevator resumed its descent. 
 
 `` Aww,'' complained the voice in the back. 
 
 ***** 
 If you liked this story, you might like my other stories at /r/hpcisco7965 and /r/TMODAL. 

