[ WP ] Suddenly and without warning , lag and latency starts to happen in everyday life instead of just the Internet .

Looking at the tablet, Shelton was tired of waiting for the stream to load. In the last 10 minutes he'd refreshed the damn page 4 times just trying to keep up with the stream. These internet companies did n't keep up their end of a bargain and people had gotten frustrated with them. The internet companies were so rich now, they did n't care. They'd sold everyone's account information off to any and every bidder. Frustrating. Thirty seconds of grainy blocky picture frames and then that little spinning icon would appear. 
 
 Shelton had finally had enough. He'd seen the Do It Yourself LockDown instructional manual, he decided he could JailBreak his tablet. It was the new IMac00x. The company of course did n't condone these actions. They warned against them. Shelton sat down with his tools, and a beer. He began taking the futuristic tablet apart. 
 
 Getting it open was simple, Shelton laid the pieces aside together in a crude attempt to remember where they'd go. Now he was going to have to loosen the heat sync screws, remove the cover, then he would begin re-assembling his overclocked treasure. As he pulled the little aluminum plate off, Shelton was surprised to see a silver metallic liquid drop inside. That was odd indeed, was it really liquid? He touched his miniature screwdriver to it. As he brought the screwdriver out of the curious liquid, it strung out as if it where a miniature slinky. Fascinated, Shelton curiously touched the strange epoxy. As he did, a strange tingle rushed through his entire body. Shelton reacted by jerking his hand away..... well would have reacted by jerking his hand away. As he pulled his arm back, almost as if some unseen force like the bounce of a trampoline was blocking his arm from moving anywhere. Not fully grasping what he was experiencing, Shelton dropped the miniature screwdriver. It dropped about an inch from his hand, and suddenly reappeared in his hand. Shelton could hardly believe what he had just seen, except that it kept happening again over and over in front of him. A couple of times the screwdriver disappeared falling from his hand, to wind up back in his hand, and also be on the floor in front of him. 
 
 Shelton was certainly freaking out now. Somehow he was tripping in between time and space and relative dimensions there of.... When suddenly he heard, in a very clear and excited voice say.... 
 
 `` WOULD YOU LIKE TO INCREASE YOUR PENIS SIZE?! ACT TODAY, WE'LL SEND YOU OUR FREE TRIAL PACK TODAY!'' 
 
 Shelton looked over to see a man had appeared. He was a fat, sleazy man. He was naked, and he looked just like Ron Jermey. 
 
 `` Who the hell are you?! ``, Shelton screamed. 
 
 `` THE EXTENZE-O CORPORATION, WE'D LIKE TO OFFER YOU A FREE TRIAL PACK TO EXTEND YOUR,'' 
 
''NO, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU PSYCHO PERV FUCK! ``, Shelton interrupted. 
 
 `` Are you sure you'd like to exit this page? Your leaving this page for an unknown site. We strongly suggest you check your security settings before continuing on unless this is a trusted source'', the naked Ron Jermey had suddenly become Ben Stein. 
 
 Shelton had had just about enough of this insanity. He threw his IMac00x at the intruder, he saw as the screen made connection with the figures head and began cracking. As it did this the most peculiar thing happened. Cracks began appearing, and reality began shattering around Shelton. As the IMac00x fell to the floor, everything suddenly became blue. 
 
 Shelton never found a way out of the blue screen of death that became his home. If there was a lesson to be learned, perhaps its that Shelton will remember, its easier to escape Windows.....
