[ WP ] The only thing standing between you and success is a small angry gnome which has dedicated it 's whole existence to ruining you . You must not let it win

Priceline Negotiator, William Shatner, has been through some shit. He's had an Arch-Nemesis named Khan, wrote science fiction novels, and had watched his Spock die right before his eyes before having to find him on another planet not dead. But today? 
 
 Today topped that. 
 
 Before him stood a true madman, a killer, a schemer, someone who had tricked everyone into thinking he was a sweet, harmless little man, while he was actually a power-hungry, homicidal maniac. 
 
 That's right. 
 
 He was face-to-face with the Travelocity Gnome. 
 
 Travel companies had been tackling each other for years, saying one is better than the other, but what no one knew was that the cute, friendly Travelocity gnome had been slowly knocking off competitors since he got his job. Commonfolk thought he was merely a spokesperson. The people in the travel business knew better. That gnome was a hit-man, hell-bent on murdering other travel spokespeople. 
 
 And now he was going after the one he had been hired to kill in the first place- William Shatner, Priceline Negotiator. 
 
 Shatner had evaded him several times, but as they stood here on the edge of the Grand Canyon, it seemed they had finally reached the end of their cat and mouse game. Someone would die today. 
 
 Shatner gave the gnome a venomous look. `` So what are you going to do, gnomey?'' 
 
 The gnome glared at him. `` Get rid of you the way I should have years ago, Shatner.'' 
 
 `` But I've only been a spokesperson for-'' 
 
 `` SILENCE!'' The gnome began pacing before him. `` You were always my main target, you were the one I was created to kill, but you always evaded me. At the beach, at the hotels, all the places we travel folk frequence for our commercials.'' 
 He turned and chuckled. `` But now, NOW, Shatner, I have you exactly where I-'' 
 
 `` Hey, this looks cute and all, but we're supposed to be shooting a commercial here.'' The director's voice cut in as he watched the two with annoyance, but the two combatants looked up and glared at him. `` Uh, sorry?'' 
 
 They went back to their fight. `` Anyway, as I was saying, here we are, Shatner, on the edge of a very large cliff, and you have nowhere to-'' 
 
 `` Hey, Will, you want a latte?'' 
 
 Shatner smiled and responded, `` Oh sure!'' 
 
 `` Oh bloody well shut up, all of you! I am making a maniacal speech here!'' There was a dead quiet. `` Finally. Now in a few seconds, your measly life will end, and I will become the ultimate travel spokesperson, the best one of all! I will-'' 
 
 Then Kaley Cuoco came out of nowhere and kicked the gnome off the cliff. `` Well he was annoying.'' 
 
 Shatner awkwardly got out of his defensive pose and looked off the edge of the cliff. `` Huh. Did n't realize it was that easy.'' 
 
 Kaley nodded. `` Yep! Now ready for the commercial?'' 
 
 Shatner shrugged. `` Well I guess so.'' 
 
 And Shatner was free of the looming threat of the Travelocity gnome, that is, until his twin brother took his place as Travelocity spokesperson. And that gnome was angry, and plotting, and determined, and also hungry for revenge. 
 

