[ WP ] You ca n't lie . Not because you have anything wrong with it , but because every time you tell one , something happens that makes it technically right .

`` So...'' she began seductively `` You bought me a drink, you pulled back my chair and I've caught you staring at places you should n't all night. If I did n't know better Joe I'd say you've got some very naughty intentions.'' 
 
 He smirked. `` Well I'm afraid if you're looking for a saint then I may disappoint you''. 
 
 She leaned in close so no one else at the bar could hear her, her soft pink lips brushing gently against his ear. `` To be honest Joe, I've always preferred the sinners'' she whispered, her voice like a hot summers breeze rustling through the leaves. 
 
 Joe's mouth felt dry. `` Keep cool'' he told himself, `` do n't do anything stupid and you might actually pull this off!''. He picked up what was left of his drink and finished it slowly without breaking eye contact. He placed the glass back down on the table, picked up his napkin and wiped his mouth. Still he stared deep into those dusky emeralds, glittering dangerously between perfect eyelashes. 
 
 He gestured to the bartender. `` Put it on my tab Tom.'' 
 
 `` Yes sir'' came the reply. 
 
 She raised a single eyebrow, a look of mock confusion on her face. `` Oh are you leaving?'' she asked innocently. 
 
 `` No'' he said `` we are.'' A coy smile broke across her features like the rising sun. They both stood and she took hold of his arm as they set off towards the door. 
 
 `` Joe, I need you to understand that I do love my husband'' she purred `` But I'm afraid he just does n't have... the equipment to give me what I need. What every woman needs.'' Her fingers lightly touched his belt buckle, so softly you could have almost thought it was an accident. `` Do you have the proper equipment Joe?'' 
 
 It was no accident. 
 
 Joe's mind raced as fast as his heartbeat. `` Say something sexy!'' his brain screamed as they walked through the door out into the street, `` quickly!'' 
 
 `` Baby, I've got a dick that goes all the way down to the floor''. She paused slightly, like a conductor would when he can hear an instrument out of tune and let go of his arm. 
 
 `` Erm'' he spluttered, keenly aware that in this delicate dance they'd been performing all night he'd just stepped on his partners foot. Whilst wearing clogs. 
 
 He looked around. `` Ah... um... red light time to cross the road!'' he said relieved to find words, any words to fill what he could sense was a rapidly growing chasm. He stepped out into a world of bright lights, broken glass and searing pain. Followed swiftly by the inky blackness of unconsciousness. 
 
 He opened his eyes, slowly, blearily. Where was he? What happened? The smell of sterilised discomfort crept into his nostrils. Hospital. 
 
 `` Ah Mr King you're awake''. Joe turned his head, there was a doctor, a grave expression resting on his face. 
 
 `` What happened?'' he asked. Voice croaky from underuse like a rusted gate. 
 
 `` I'm afraid you were in a car accident Mr King, hit and run. It was touch and go for a few minutes but we managed to save your life.'' The doctor looked uncomfortable. `` Not without cost I'm afraid.'' 
 
 `` What do you mean?'' 
 
 `` Because of the extent of the damage your body suffered we were unable to save your legs. I'm sorry'' 
 
 Joe pulled the blankets that were covering him off onto the floor. His legs were completely gone from the hips downwards. He stared in dumb confusion. 
 
 Suddenly cogs whirred and something clicked. `` Dick down to the floor...'' he murmured. 
 
 `` Ah fuck'' 
 

