[ WP ] He yelled in rage and fear and horror .

( This is somewhat personal and fictional to add a barrier ) 
 
 He walked out of the elevator, and the weight on his shoulders slumped him like a new passenger he incurred from upstairs. He watched his hands, as if they were able to resurrect the dead, but he felt a life slip not only from a child but also himself. With each step he felt the weight of his decisions. People passed by, without a second glance and to them he was just another person in the crowd. When the automatic doors opened to the outside, the sun was going down on him as if he felt it for the first time and his new fear smiled inside. 
 
 It was still cold in the Montana air, the drifts heaved up along side the road and the cows in the pastures breathe could be seen from the truck. He looked over at his passenger seat and seen the fresh blood from his girlfriend still thick and musky. He changed gears and kept between the lines, his face with a blank stair, the smell of hay was still fresh on his coat from when she called him home from feeding the cows. The whole situation played back in his mind like a purgatorious loop. He could just stop and walk from here to clear his head, but he decided to drive back to the house. When he got to the fence, he opened it autonomously and closed it as such. The truck squealed its way back up the road into its familiar parking space. When he got out, he looked at the passenger seat again, `` So you going to come with me?'' 
 
 His feet felt stiff and stifling, so he grabbed her fathers gallon of whiskey and began his trek into the mountains. His culmination of his failures were following him towards his decided end; His schooling of premedical school and its bills that followed, his parent's home life was torn apart and he was welcomed by neither, the jobs he had and left without a notice, the apartment lease he left and owed to, and finally his expectations of being a parent were all shattered. Those responsibilities he had left for this moment, and he was drowning in its tar of failure. Along the way into the mountains, he grabbed the wood axe and drug it with him up the incline, he knew where he would go next. He remembered it was peaceful the first time he experienced it. 
 
 The drink was stiff and sweet, he coughed a few times and his breathe was coming out like a fiery fury. Then he heard him, it was n't a person but that ghost that followed him everywhere he went and the beliefs that people had placed on him. 
 
 `` Hey you, boy! Where you off to?'' He did n't hear his foot steps, but at this point his mind was freshly snapped, `` That drink looks good, but you should put it down. It ai n't going to do you no good way out here, and you know what happens to people who tried to drown their sorrows. You have to get back up.'' 
 
 He looked back for the speaker, but he could n't see him yet. `` So, what?,'' He snapped, the axe was creating a line right behind him. He could see the next bluff and after that it was just another quarter mile to where he needed to go. He was just going to let the voice talk until it grew tired, he did n't have much to say and even if he tried tears would only follow. 
 
 `` Lets turn back, we can eat that Thanksgiving dinner from two days ago! I know there is a nice plate of potatoes waiting and we can get one of those smoked legs.'' The thought of food was behind him, but the voice was desperate, `` We could go back and have a soda with that whiskey, and maybe talk to her again? Come on, lets go back.'' 
 
 It was n't his rationale that was in control, it was the primal instinct of emotion that had his thoughts. He was n't going to veer off this destination he already set, but the voice could bear witness to his last and final action. If not, he would make him. 
 
 When they got to the riverbank, the cows had already left their drinking holes. He would have to try to break open the ice before it started to re-harded completely. He put the jug down, and lifted the axe high and swang down towards the river's bed, hoping to reach it in one full swing. When it collided, only chips had flung off the surface. He looked over at the jug and then seen him, the voice gained a face. He was familiar like a child hood friend or mentor with a smile that was welcoming, but to him it was smirking. 
 
 `` Fuck you, you mother fucker! What are you doing here?!'' He said with a hoarse voice, `` Your the one following me!? Your here now!? Right now!? Where were you when I need you!?'' 
 
 `` You need me now do n't you!?,'' The voice responded back, `` I'm here now, right when you needed me.'' 
 
 `` YOUR TOO FUCKING LATE!'' He picked up the axe and took another swing, `` Do you know what I just lost!?'' 
 
 The voice watched him chip at the ice, `` You lost a child,'' he spoke with a soft tone, `` You lost a family. You were willing to give everything up for that person you failed, but you did n't fail.'' The voice began to come close, and he could hear the feet glide across the ice. 
 
 `` DO N'T YOU FUCKING MOVE!'' He stopped and turned towards The Voice, he started gliding towards that jug again sitting on the bank. 
 
 `` Stop! You should stop drinking right now!'' The Voice watched him glup down the whiskey like it was water, `` You have another life to live for, and right now you are trying to avoid that responsibility.'' 
 
 `` NO I'M FUCKING NOT!'' Some of the liquid bursted forth from his mouth like mad froth, `` What do you know about responsibility, or trust, or love!? Your a fucking ghost from my past trying to live again! I can see through you like a ziplock bag, you fucking floating rag!'' 
 
 `` You might see me as I am now, but I am still apart of you. I am all of who you are and your just trying to separate us, you are quitting! Giving into the fears of your mind. Do n't do it! It's a quick path but it ends that way too! Do n't do it!'' 
 
 `` Fuck you!'' He dropped the jug and ran towards the ghost, when he slipped on the ice he quickly scrambled to his feet and made a B line for him. He tackled the air, his body slid on the ice, and when he hit the bank, he pounded his fist like he was beating someone's chest. `` You fucking piece of shit! You do n't know anything, you never where here to help me when I needed you, I'm alone! There is no one here to save me! Do you think someone is coming?! Fuck no!'' He began to sob into the snow, `` This fucking place is like a ugly game that we all have to just experience. No one has no real control, and everything is predetermined! Fuck this shit! I do n't want to play anymore! Do you hear me?! I DO N'T WANT TO PLAY THIS FUCKING SICK ASS GAME ANYMORE! I WANT OUT OF THIS FUCKING PLACE!'' 
 

