[ WP ] Any three characters from any three separate fictions find themselves in a room together . Describe their conversation .

He walked into the room with a smug look on his ugly fat face. You could tell he had been grooming that thing he calls a moustache all day long; hell, he was so vain he had the balls to put the first letter of his name on that piece of shit hat he wears all day everyday since he was a little baby. He really bothered me, yet all the princesses in the room were removing the dams in their own respective rivers as he winked at each one of them. He had no teeth, but who gave a damn when he was the hero of the mushroom kingdom? Well, I do. I give a real damn about it. 
 
 See, here I was sitting with good ol'Batman, talking about saving the day because we care about people and not for our own self-gratitude, and in comes that asshole thinking he's all that. To be honest, I could n't see why some hot shot hero would be in this grimy-ass bar - the walls were smeared with toad shit, and I'm pretty sure some of the Pikmin had puked all over the floor near the toilets. It was a real dump; I'm sure he just came in to pick up some second-rate hookers ( word on the street was Peach did n't want to munch on his salami anymore ). Dante seemed keen, but the asshole did n't swing that way. Poor Dante, lost it all when his demons became pacifists; now he just spends his days dancing for cash and gargling mayonnaise. 
 
 I just so happen to be sitting on a three-person table with Batman, and when I'm just about to speak, he opens his big ugly mouth and starts speaking. 
 
 `` Heya, Sonic, whatta ya doin' here?'' You could tell how fake his tone was, like one those bitchy California girls that'ca n't even.' 
 
 `` Hey, Mario,'' I sighed, `` just, you know, catching up with some old friends.'' 
 
 `` That's-a great! Who is your friend?'' 
 
 `` His name is -'' 
 
 `` Brian,'' Batman interjected. 
 
 `` Uh,'' as I paused, he gave me a wink with his white eyes, `` yeah, this is Brian.'' 
 
 `` Brian, eh? So nice-a to meet you, Brian!'' 
 
 `` To you the same,'' he replied, keeping the conversation short and concise. I realised that he immediately did n't like him either. 
 
 `` So what-a do ya do, Brian?'' 
 
 `` Customer service mostly.'' I clenched my mouth so hard to prevent myself from laughing, but Mario kinda picked up on it and started using sarcasm. He pulled up the chair between us and sat his fat ass on it. He tried to cross his legs but eventually failed, so decided to spread them wide like some fat guy who just stuffed his face with cake. He pulled up his shirt and started playing with his belly button. 
 
 `` You know,'' he pulled out a weep of dust and flicked it on the table, `` I'm also in the a customer service *busi*ness.'' 
 
 `` Is that so,'' Batman replied monotonously, never even looking at Mario's eyes. 
 
 `` Yeah,'' he began blowing on his nails as though he had recently cut them, `` I mostly help-a the women, if you know what I mean!'' He let out a laugh so hard that some of the turtles fell off the ceiling. The princesses on the other hand, well they were still trying to dry their stockings. 
 
 `` No, I do n't.'' 
 
 `` Whaddya mean you do n't?'' 
 
 `` It means, I do n't know what you mean.'' Mario began to feel slightly uncomfortable, so he turned the conversation towards me. 
 
 `` So tell me, Sonic, how's Fox? You guys-a still beating some eggs?'' I wanted to smear some of that toad shit on his face, but then I'd look weak, so I just kept the conversation dry. 
 
 `` No, actually, he mostly hangs out with Snake nowadays.'' 
 
 `` Oh, that's a shame. I guess he wanted to live some adventure.'' 
 
 `` Yeah, it's a good way of keeping in shape, something I'm sure you miss dearly.'' He glanced at me momentarily, then began playing with his moustache. 
 
 `` You know, sometimes I wish Bowser was-a still here, then he'd take that bitch of a wife away from me, but this time I would n't have to-a save her.'' He continued with another of his irksome laughs. 
 
 `` You should n't speak about your wife like that,'' Batman said, though this time he carried a more sinister tone. 
 
 `` Oh, and what are you going to do about it?'' 
 
 Batman laid back on his chair, grabbed a sip from his beer, then replied: 
 
 `` I'll bring him back.'' 
 
 Mario laughed again, then pointed out: `` Bowser's been-a dead for a good four-a years. No one can-a bring him back.'' 
 
 Batman stayed quiet, as though he had something hidden under his sleeves. 
 
 `` So, Sonic,'' he paused, `` you going on-a holiday anytime-a soon?'' 
 
 `` Have n't thought about it. Still got some animals to save.'' 
 
 `` Oh, that's-a good, that's-a good,'' he replied condescendingly, `` well-a I'mma going to the Isle Delfino with-a the bitch, hopefully some miracle will kidnap her there.'' He laughed again, then began saying his goodbyes: `` well I'll-a see you guys soon, I need to go and-a get my small whistle-a dirty, if you know what I mean,'' he let out another wild laugh then got off the table and walked towards Dante. 
 
 `` Come on-a, you, I need-a some help with a pipe.'' He pulled him by his neck-chain and left the bar. 
 
 I turned towards Batman and asked him why he stayed quiet. He did n't say much, only that I'd see what would happen. I did n't think much about it and I guess that's why I'm here now. I'm telling you, officer, I do n't know where Batman is and I can assure you that I was not involved with his death nor Peach's disappearance. Yeah, I did n't like the guy, but I would never wish death on him. That's just not me, I'm the guy who always saves people!
