[ WP ] One day , while petting your cat , you accidentally pull his tail , and it opens up . Inside , there 's a USB connector . You connect it to your laptop , an announcement pops up . -Cat Version : 1.0.0 . Update to 256.3 ?

- Grraouw. Captain Cattastroganoff greeted me when i came home from work, i said hello back and petted his head for exactly 3.7 seconds before he would get to excited and start chomping on my hand. 
 
 - Meow? He looked at my tired face. 
 I sighed and told him about my day, my boss had screamed at my face about something that was entirely his own fault. - Frakking idiot... I thought out loud, one day i would tell him to defenestrate himself and quit. 
 
 Capt' payed no mind to my frustration, he had asked about my day, which is more than enough according to him. He walked over to his empty bowl and looked at me with a bored expression. 
 
 I looked at his bowl and then went to the kitchen to get him some food, maybe to throw in some canned tuna as a special treat. 
 
 While i'm walking towards the kitchen Capt' meows which turns my head in his direction. 
 
 He does n't seem to want anything, so i shrug and turn my head back, right into the kitchen doorpost. 
 - Gaddammit! Captain! I hold my hand to my face and look at my cat, he could n't have done it on purpose? Could he? I see no signs of amusement from him. But i did see a glimmer of something at the base of his tail. 
 
 - What's that? I ask him knowing i wo n't get a real response. 
 
 I have already forgotten about the food, so i walk over to him to inspect the glimmer. 
 
 - Huh? Your tail is not connected to your body, how? I wonder while i'm gently tugging at the tail. 
 
 With a last minimal tug the tail comes off, and a usb port sits at the end of it. 
 
 By now I feel as if my mind has been physically sucked out of my head, i just stand there staring at the little connector. 
 
 After what feels like an eternity my mind restarts and curiosity starts to replace the utter confusion. What is it? What would happen if I plug it in my computer? 
 
 - Would my computer crash? Is it a virus? Could I change the programming on my cat? I start to talk aloud. 
 
 I look at my cat who seems about as interested in this as he would be in anything else. He lazily looks at where his tail should be, moving the stump that's left, and decides to go lie on the couch instead. 
 
 I start to shuffle towards my laptop, still examining the port. Sitting by my desk i realize that all my ports are taken by external drives and an USB powered laser pointer that i would use to amuse my cat, or more so myself. 
 
 I jank out the toy and try to plug the tail in, wrong way, i flip the connector around and try again. - Yes! I say with a victorious voice, second try is as good as first try. 
 
 A bubble shows up on the lower left corner of my screen `` Installerar enhetsdrivrutiner'' it alerts me in Swedish. Four years living in New York, i still preffered to have my computer in my native language. 
 
 After a while the bubble tells me that the unit is available for use. I open the unit through my explorer, and see a lot of folders named nothing in general, and two files in the root folder `` Readme.txt'' and `` Update.exe'' - Readmes are for chumps. I mutter while i open the Updater. 
 
 It takes unusually long for the program to start, and I get ready to shut it down with ctrl shift escape when the updater software shows up and tells me it's currently on version 1.0.0, it shows me two options, Look for updates online or close. 
 
 Naturally I hit look for updates. It starts working and a bar shows its progress. I get bored and decide to browse reddit, a repost of a funny cat gif is on my top front page. I chuckle at the coincidence and alt tab to the updater. It has found an update 2.5.6, i press install and the bar shows up again, excited I watch the bar go closer and closer to being finished. 
 
 In reality the install probably took longer than my brainfreeze earlier, but it felt like a second. 
 
 I safely eject the tail from my computer, which I normaly do n't do, life is too short and so on. 
 
 I walk over to my sleeping cat, and a sudden wonder hits me. What will happen when I plug it in? Is he going to change? Is his real name really Captain Catastroganoff, or is it Lord Gzu'gar Destroyer of souls? Holy shit, will he be able to talk? Is he even a cat? Could he read my mind after this? Could he already do that before? 
 
 I decide to take my chances and plug the port back in. The cat wakes up and looks annoyed at me. His tail flipping about as it would do normally, he looks at his tail and deems it satisfactory before going back to sleep. 
 
 Nothing happened, or atleast it does n't seem like it. I go back to the computer and a prompt thanks me for updating, and that they hope i will continue to have a great experience with my cat. 
 
 I feel empty, and still a bit confused when a noise from the livingroom shows me the cat going haywire, running around the floor chasing shadows. Nothing out of the ordinary, or would n't be if he did it about half the speed. 
 
 - Great, he's faster. That's what i get? I mutter sourly. As the cat starts spinning while chasing his tail. Suddenly he stops, looks at me and meows. 
 
 - You hungry? I ask him. 
 - Yes, but hold the tuna, it disturbs our stomach. I hear, or atleast I think I heard it. It was soothing and felt familiar, but at the same time it was alien and weird. 
 
 I looked at him, confused out of my mind and asked him what he said. The cat looked back and repeated what he said. 
 
 - Holy shit, you CAN talk? Since when? The update? I blurted out as fast as I could. 
 
 - Since always, but the translator did n't work properly, so we had to make do with what we had. The cat says before bursting out in laughter, rolling around on the floor. 
 
 - What's so funny? I ask while laughing at him for looking funny. 
 
 - Oh, we just remembered when we made you walk into the doorpost! The cat manages to get out between laughing his little ass off. 
 
 - Our? We? I remarked about his pronouns. - Are you part of a hive or something? 
 
 - No, we do n't like your languages I or me, we just feels more right. From what we learned from your internet using your own name is not customary, also Captain Catastroganoff is a bit too much to say repeatedly, while it is an appropriate name which we have taken a liking to. 
 
 - I'm sorry, but this is too much for me to handle. Can we talk later? I say and hold my head, it feels as if my brain is too big for my head. 
 
 - Do you wish me to erase this happening from your mind? Captain says comfortingly. 
 
 - You can do that? I ask. 
 
 - Well, yes, it was part of the update you gave us, we have always been able to alter memories, but now it's easier. The cat says as if it is the most natural thing in the world. 
 
 - Well could you? I just want my cat, or are you gone after this? I ask him, I feel relief that I have a possibilty of forgetting this. 
 
 - We will remain here for the time being, you humans have a much, much shorter lifespan than us. Do you want it to go back to how it was? Captain asked again. 
 
 - Please do, i'd probably be weird about just knowing you understand me. 
 
 The cat looked at me, nodded and said - Goodbye, u/apelsinen, it has been nice talking to you. 
 
 - Goodbye Captain Catastroganoff. I replied, and waved before a blinding flash encompassed the room. 
 
 He does n't seem to want anything, so i shrug and turn my head back, right into the kitchen doorpost. 
 
 Hurts like hell, and I get a sense of deja vu, and a memory of the cat laughing his ass off. 
 
 The cat looks as bored as usual, and I suddenly feel a little sad. I go get him his food, but I skip the tuna. 
 
 -- - -- - -- - 
 
 Thanks for reading, you one person who read this, i hope you liked it just a little bit. 
 
 I wrote this on mobile, so i hope I got all the errors out.
