[ WP ] Someone is dead and all i can think about is where i left my yo-yo .

*Jesus-fucking-Christ, look at the make-up on her. She looks like a clown. Wonder what kind of experience this mortician had. * 
 
 `` Yes, she was a wonderful person. Thank you.'' 
 
 *Wonder how long I'll need to be here. God I'm fucking hungry. Who's that chick? Check out the rack on her. Oh shit, here she comes. * 
 
 `` Yes, she was a wonderful person. Thank you.'' 
 
 *So hot. Maybe I should go and talk to her. No, it's not appropriate. But it's like that movie, y'know like the one with Vince Vaughan and Owen Wilson. The one where Will Ferrel's picks up chicks at funerals. * 
 
 `` Yes, she was a wonderful person. Thank you.'' 
 
 *Maybe I'll talk to her. Maybe she can come back to my place and I can cook dinner. We can watch Netflix. I'll put on one of them romantic movies and we'll drink a bit. God she's hot. I hope we're not related. * 
 
 `` Oh yes, yes, she was a fantastic person. Thank you.'' 
 
 *She kind of reminds me of that girl I used to hang out with when I was a kid. What was her name? Tina! That's it. Good ol' Tina. I wonder how she's doing. She was so sweet. Gave me that fucking yo-yo for my birthday. Where the hell did I put that yo-yo? I'm sure I only saw it last week somewhere. * 
 
 `` Mmhmm... she was the sweetest. Thank you.'' 
 
 *Was it in that shoebox in my room? One of my jackets? Fuck. I loved that thing. Used to play with it every day. Okay, got ta find a seat. Fuck, why is so crowded here? How did she know this many people? Seat... seat.. seat... there! Fuck yes, it's right next to that chick. * 
 
 `` Hi. Thanks for coming.'' 
 
 *I never noticed how fucking sad this Amazing Grace song is. Everything's crying their fucking eyes out. I wish I could just lighten the mood about. Do some tricks with that yo-yo. This chick would definitely be impressed. Oh shit, it's my turn to speak. * 
 
 `` Uh... hi, everyone. It means a lot for us that you came.'' 
 
 *I should have prepared a speech. What should I say? I wish I were a kid right now. Could just sit in the back and play with that yo-yo. * 
 
 `` Uh...'' 
 
 *I'd do fucking cradles and scorpions and walk it. Seriously. I need to go home and find that thing. * 
 
 `` Uh...'' 
 
 *Dude, what the fuck? Your mom's dead and all you can think about is where you left your yo-yo. *
