[ WP ] An atheist and a Satanist meet at the gates of heaven . Saint Peter says there 's only room for one of them .

`` One of us has to go in there?'' said the Satanist. 
 
 `` Has... to?'' Asked St. Peter confusedly, while below on Earth a jet full of terrified people slammed into the ocean in part of god's confounding master plan. 
 
 The atheist and satanist locked eyes and cried `` Not it!'' in unison before racing past Saint Peter's post and the gates of heaven to the stairway that led to hell. Saint Peter watched their forms disappear down the long flight into obscurity below, and shrugged. 
 
 He tried not to think about it, and tried not to let it bother him, but there was work to do as the capacity of a 747 began lining up for processing. 
 
 The light at his booth turned from red to green, indicating there was room again in heaven, and he processed the load of new souls as per usual. He did n't know why heaven was full sometimes and sometimes not, but that was something else he tried not to think about. 
 
 It was n't like god was in there eating the souls or anything, right? He'd never really been inside to check, and it *was* awful quiet, but he tried not to think about it. 
 
 From the stairway to hell the sounds of music, drunken shenanigans, fornicating and fighting drifted up, as they always did. It almost sounded like fun, but he tried not to think about that.
