[ WP ] After a bizarrely grueling interview process , you 've finally been hired at the local shop ... on your first day you find out the real reason for the screening .

The air was cold. In the distance, I could hear the sounds of construction equipment. I looked up. The sun radiated its gentle warmth upon me as I thought about the task at hand. I was surprised the building was so small; I thought it would be at least twice the size. No matter. What's important is the prize. I took a deep breath and walked in. 
 
 The room was empty. No furniture. No light. No sound. As I ventured inside, the door slammed shut behind me. `` Welcome'', said a familiar voice. 
 
 `` We talked on the phone, right?'' I replied. 
 
 `` Yes'', he said, the sound of his slow, heavy breathing wafting into every word he laboriously spoke. `` You were instructed to arrive at precisely 12:15. And you did. That's good.'' I could n't tell if he was trying to disguise his voice or if he just had some kind of medical condition. Or perhaps he was just elderly. 
 
 My eyes still had n't adjusted. Either that, or they had gone to a lot of trouble to make sure not even a faint glow of light entered that room. `` Can you turn on the lights?'' I asked. 
 
 No reply. I heard footsteps. They were slow and faint, at first, but as the moments crawled by, the footsteps grew louder -- and faster. But my mind was not fooled for long. It was just the sound of my beating heart, as I grew more aware of it in the darkened silence. 
 
 `` Now,'' said the voice, `` Tell me your greatest fear.'' 
 
 I thought for a moment. `` Well,'' I said, `` This is really starting to creep me out and I do n't need the hair stylist job that badly, anyway. So I'll just --'' 
 
 `` SILENCE!'' boomed the voice. `` Let me experience your greatest fear!'' 
 
 Then there was nothing. Again. I was n't sure what to say. All I knew was that eight bucks an hour just is n't worth all this. Before I could say anything, I realized that the room was getting lighter. It was only a glimmer, at first. A few seconds went by. It was then that I realized I was no longer standing, but rather lying on the floor. 
 
 The light grew brighter still. I began to hear distant sounds grow closer and louder. As I still pondered the voice's question, I felt a cold breeze blow across my face. The sounds were now deafeningly familiar. I opened my eyes and found myself lying outside the building. The sun was now cradling the horizon, the sky burning furiously with shades of red. My head and neck were bathed in some kind of warm liquid that distinctly smelled like vomit. 
 
 As I came to my feet, I noticed an unmarked envelope stuffed in my shirt pocket. I opened it. There, inside, was a thick, glossy piece of paper with a small note printed on it. The message read, `` Sorry, I thought you were a girl. You have a really high voice!'' 
 
 Still groggy, I turned the piece of paper over. It was a personally autographed photo of Bill Cosby. In the bottom-right corner, in the same handwriting, someone smeared, `` Go ahead and prove it,'' using what appeared to be red gelatin. I'm still amazed at how legible it was. 
 
 Turns out I had the wrong address. Thankfully, they were willing to reschedule and I got the job! Unfortunately, the job was n't what I expected. I'm only halfway through my first day and I'm already covered in shaggy dog hair!
