[ WP ] Write a murder from the perspective of a cheerful inanimate object

First attempt at writing anything... be gentle.: ) 
 
 Hey Phil! What the hell are you doing? 
 
 I do n't know man, this wind is making me dance! Look at my lines! They're swinging all over the place. 
 
 I can see that. You got ta hold it together. If you go down, your lines are going to pull me down too. And I'm too young to die! You and I have seen worse storms than this, so do n't go giving up the ghost on me now. 
 
 Dude... I know but man I'm tellin' you something is diff...... Oh SNAP.....did you hear that? I think my pole just split! That was frickin' crazy right? That sound. Oh my god it hurts but you have to admit that was fucking eeeepppiiicccc. 
 
 Phil, you fucking idiot. You're going down are n't you? You're going to go down and you are taking me with you. You asshole. 
 
 Asshole? Whoa Tony, why so harsh man? We've been best buds for 20 years. Why are you harshing on me now? 
 
 Best buds? You're joking right? I have been nice because I was erected right next to you. It's not like I could sprout legs, take my power lines and move to another part of town. I am stuck with you. And since there was nothing I could do, I did my best not make our lives any more horrible than it needed to be. And that meant putting up with your insufferable nonsense for over 22 years. But now, seeing that we are about to die, I feel like I can tell you the truth. You are an idiot Phil. Of all the poles in the world, you have to be the dumbest. And there are a lot of dumb poles out there. 
 
 Ah man, you do n't mean that. You love me man. You know you do. You love me. 
 
 Phil, I do not love you. 
 
 Whatever man. I can feel the love surging through our wires. Man if we were any closer, we'd be making little baby poles together... if you are a female that is. Are you a female Tony? I guess I never asked before. 
 
 My name is Tony and I'm a god damn pole, Phil. So no... I am not female. 
 
 Right... male then. We ca n't have pole babies together but we can still....bow chicka bow bow. You know what I'm saying, man? 
 
 Phil, you're an idiot. I'm not male either. I'm a pole. I do n't have genitalia, I ca n't have little pole babies, and I.....you know what... fuck this... why am I even having this conversation? 
 
 Yeah man, why are we? 
 
 Shut up Phil. Here's the situation. You are going down and you are going to die. 
 
 Right. Oh man... that's right. I was wondering why my pole hurt. That's right man... I'm going to die! Oh shit man! I'm going to die! 
 
 Yes Phil. You're done for. And here's the thing. I hate you so much, I'm not even going to hold the lines when you go down. 
 
 What!?!? You ai n't even going to hold me up man?!? What the heck dude? If you do n't hold me up, then they ai n't going to repair me, they're going to just chip my ass up! 
 
 That's right Phil. I'm not holding the lines and you're ass is mulch. 
 
 That's cold. I'd hold the lines for you, man. That cuts real deep. I just...... oh god... oh shit....it's happening. Tony! I'm going! I'm falling down! Tony! Hold the lines man! Hold the lines! 
 
 CRASH! 
 
 Oh shit Tony... did you see that! I fell right on that moving car! Oh man, I totally messed up that little girl. She's alright though, right Tony? She's going to be fine, right? 
 
 No Phil, you moron. She is not alright. She's barely alive but she is n't going to make it. She's going to be electrocuted. 
 
 What do you mean? The lines are still good. She's not going to be electrocuted, man. Oh... hey... you held the lines! I knew you loved me. I could just feel it! Man, we're going to spend another 20 great years together. Think of all the fun things we're going to do together. All the neat new cars we'll see. All the dogs peeing on your shoes. I love it when they pee on your shoes. That's like, soooo funny. It'll be great. 
 
 No Phil. I told you I would n't hold the lines. 
 
 But if you let the lines go, I'm going to die and the little girl will die too. You do n't want to hurt the little girl do you?!? You do n't want to hurt me? No man, you wo n't do that. You wo n't hurt her. And you love me. I just know you do. 
 
 SNAP. SIZZLE. 
 
 Tony? 
 
 Yes Phil. 
 
 You killed her. She's dead. You killed her just so you could kill me? That's messed up man. That's real messed up.....Hey Tony? 
 
 Yes Phil. 
 
 You're a real asshole man. 
 
 I know, Phil. I know.....Hey Phil? 
 
 Yeah Tony. 
 
 I fucking hate you Phil. 
 
 Yeah, I kinda got the fucking message, you asshole. 
 
 Yeah? 
 
 Yeah. 
 
 Good. 
 
 
 
 
 

