[ WP ] `` Oh , I almost forgot ! We also have a promotional offer right now ; for another six months of your mother 's life I can add a very successful career top of everything else . what 'd you say ? ''

( I have been waiting for this day. ) 
 
 It was precisely 12:30 in the afternoon when John heard the knocks. 
 
 A sequence of four quick, loud ( but not too loud ) knocks, perfectly precise, lasting 15 seconds. 
 
 John answered the door. 
 
 Two men, well dressed and impeccably groomed, were standing there, one short in a white suit, the other tall in a grey one. The tall one was tan, and looked to be Middle-Eastern origin. The short one was white, with a well kept mustache and a bowler hat. 
 
 `` Hello there sir!'' The tall man said. `` I'm Doctor Well, and this is my associate, Doctor Sick.'' 
 
 Sick tipped his hat. `` Charmed. Me and my partner here are salesmen, and we were wondering if we might interest you in some of our fine merchandise on this fine winter day.'' 
 
 John looked curiously at the two men. `` What do you sell?'' 
 
 They responded in perfect sync. `` Everything you need and anything you want!'' They said. 
 
 John smiled and laughed. `` Alright. Come on in.'' He stepped to the side to let the two men in. It was at this point he noticed the large black leather briefcase that Doctor Sick was carrying. He walked into the living room with them. Sick set the briefcase precisely in the center of the coffee table. 
 
 `` Now, I'll admit, we've been doing a little scouting of you.'' Well said sheepishly. `` So, we had a little set of products we thought you might be interested in.'' 
 
 John raised an eyebrow. `` Oh?'' 
 
 Sick chuckled. `` Yes. Do remind me, Doctor Well?'' 
 
 `` Well, we thought we might offer you high self esteem, which, with your first-time buyer discount, can be purchased for a measly 3 days of childhood memories. A healthy love life, full of passion and affection, for 10 pounds of genuine laughter, or for 15, we can set you up with your soulmate. And for the low, low price of a year of your mom's life, we can guarantee you two healthy children!'' Doctor Well said. John was impressed with his sales pitch, as what exactly was being pitched had n't yet sunk in. `` Anything else?'' 
 
 `` The promo, friend.'' 
 
 `` Oh, right, almost forgot! We have a promotional offer going on! For just another six months of your mother's life, we'll throw in a very successful career! What do you say, John? This is the chance of a lifetime.'' 
 
 John looked at the two of them. 
 
 `` Wait, what the fuck?'' 
 ( TBC )
