[ WP ] Instead of being funded by John Hammond , Jurassic Park is instead funded by his second cousin on his father 's side : Richard Hammond . Along with Jeremy Clarkson and James May , how would Jurassic Park : Top Gear Edition be different ?

Jeremy: Welcome to top gear, which tonight, is a *special*. 
 
 James: that's right. Now we've been all around the world at this point, we've even been to the north pole. To be honest we were almost out of ideas of where to go, I mean it's not like we can just drive about aimlessly in some jacked up beetles on some sand and fill an hour forty five. 
 
 Richard: Instead our producers gave us £750 and told us to buy some sedans. Rather worryingly, they told us they had better be very very strong, indeed, and it might be useful to have four wheel drive. 
 
 *** 
 
 Narrator Jeremy: our producers had decided to send us to jurassic park. To get to our cars, we would have to canoe down a river, which we did, utterly bewildered by everything. 
 
 James: look! It's some sort of duck! 
 
 Jeremy: look at this! It's like a dog with scales! 
 
 James: my duck's more interesting than your stupid dog. 
 
 Narrator Richard: soon we arrived at our cars. Rather worryingly, a producer emerged from the wilderness, dressed as a shrubbery, and handed us a golden envelope 
 
 Jeremy: you will drive from here, at this beach, to the airstrip, where you will have a drag race, with a velociraptor 
 
 Jeremy: well I shall win. My impreza's got the most power of the three of us. 
 
 Richard: but my car is rally bred! 
 
 Jeremy: right. So is mine, but do you think when audi made the Quattro, in the 80's they thought `` right, we need to make something rugged and dependable, capable of running away from dinosaurs, but also easy to drive on the road'' or did they fit totally different bits to the cars they did n't use in group b? 
 
 James: ah, but you shall both certainly be eaten. My ca- 
 
 James: that's a Peugeot 1007. The only car which manages to be uglier on the outside than a pterodactyl's testes. It's front wheel drive. You'll be killed, almost certainly. 
 
 James: you say that, but no self respecting dinosaur is going to be caught eating a Peugeot when there's a perfectly good German car and a perfectly good japanese car available. I mean think of it. Your car tastes like weinerschnitzel, and your car tastes like kobe beef. Meanwhile mine is some milk that's been left out too long and some french wino has declared that it's a fancy cheese. 
 
 Part 2 will come later but it's time for bed
