[ TT ] A humanoid alien questions why Earth should be spared before his massive war armies . You are the only person who has 200 IQ and must convince him in 4 hours before Earth is obliterated ...

`` So tell me, *Earthling*.... why should your planet be spared?'' 
 
 I stood in the circle of light, shadows and blackness past the defined arc. There was some sort of mist or gas that allowed me to see the edge of the beam. Looking up only showed a brilliant circle. The scene was reminiscent of a dozen cheesy sci-fi films. 
 
 The only other detail was the tiny red gleam of some sort of eye. 
 
 `` I am broadcasting your decision to your pitiful planet, *Earthling*. Speak now and save them from oblivion. Why should your people be spared?'' 
 
 Not for the first time, I regretted cheating on that damned online test. It was just meant to be a lark before bed. I'd done it once, and got 146. A decent IQ score. But then I'd tried again, and it'd asked the exact same questions. 
 
 So I cheated. I set up a bot program to answer for me. I thought I'd just get one of those stupid Facebook bragposts,'I got X on this test, can you do better?', and then I'd go to bed, and get up the next morning, like every other day. 
 
 The bot had taken a couple of tries, but I'd apparently maxxed the score at 200. And less than five minutes later, as I checked the doors were locked... *something* had whipped out of the sky outside. There was a flash of brilliant light, and now I was here, being asked a very troubling set of questions. 
 
 `` Well? Nothing? You are the most intelligent human on your insignificant mudball. And you have nothing to say?'' 
 
 Cheater or not, there was one thing I was good - or at least maybe completely not sucky - at. Talking reasonably fast. A punchine from an old *Calvin and Hobbes* comic sprang to my mind, unbidden. 
 *When in doubt, deny all terms and definitions* 
 
 `` Intelligence is not wisdom.'' 
 
 `` What?'' 
 
 `` You're asking the wrong questions. I can not tell you why Earth should be spared whatever doom you have in mind. I simply do n't know enough about you and your morals... your philosophy. 
 
 `` I could stand here and talk of art, music and culture, and you may see them as pure and proper justification to cleanse Earth with fire. I could talk of our worst moments, our darkest times, and you might rejoice in having found a kindred spirit. 
 
 `` You selected me based on intelligence. intelligence is not wisdom. I can not tell you why Earth should be spared, because I do n't know what you would find acceptable justification.'' 
 
 There was silence. The red light shone with a faint malevolence. No other details could be seen. 
 
 The silence stretched on. 
 
 `` Very well. You may ask One Question of us. Your intelligence should be sufficient for this. One question, and then your justification for continued existence'' 
 
 There was the obvious question, but the powergamer in me was already running scenarios. The programmer in me was attempting to parse not-a-question statements, and the scared little kid in me was curling into a ball and whimpering. 
 
 Slacker. 
 
 `` First, I require your assurance that this is being broadcast to Earth.'' 
 
 An image appeared in front of me. Times Square, New York. My face, brightly lit beamed out of every screen. London, Paris, Moscow, Beijing. I was suddenly extremely aware that my hair desperately needed cutting. And my scraggly beard needed serious grooming. Even worse, I was *squinting*. 
 
 `` Live. *Earthling*. Ask, and then justify.'' 
 
 `` Fine. Why?'' 
 
 Dead silence. *Hah! Did n't see that one coming did you? * 
 
 `` Why What?'' 
 
 `` Why? Why do I need to defend my planet? Why do you need to invade? Why select one person to try to sum up an entire world? Why this stupid cheesy set up? Why braadcast it all back to Earth?'' 
 
 `` That... is considerably more than one question.'' 
 
 `` All the same question. Why?'' 
 
 `` This is farcical. We will not answer your absurd question. Justify your continued existence. Now.'' 
 
 *Bullseye*. 
 
 `` No. You justify your continued existence. Why should we - the human race - let you survive? You've proven yourself a promise-breaker. A liar, and a cheat. Anything I say can and most likely will be ignored by you. 
 
 `` So lets have a bit of reversal then, shall we? Why do *you* - arrogant and overbearing oathbreaker that you are - deserve to live? Why should humanity not crush you into oblivion?'' 
 
 `` This... is equally absurd. Our armies could annihilate your entire civilization in hours.'' 
 
 `` Yes, but why would they? What possible gain would you obtain from attacking us? Resources? They're more abundant in the solar system than on Earth. Slaves? We're not very good at being slaves. More trouble than we're worth. Money? We're, as you put it, an insignificant mudball. Nothing we have would make your invasion even break even. 
 
 `` Simply put, you have absolutely nothing to gain by invading. So the only possible reason for attacking would be to eliminate us as a species. 
 
 `` But we're a tenacious bunch. You can never be sure you've gotten us all. And we do n't forget. You miss just one deep redoubt, just one station or outpost, and we'll be back, this time with blood in our eye. 
 
 `` We'd come for you, in our own starships, with our own weapons. We'd hunt you and your armies down. You know how humans originally hunted their prey? We'd run it to exhaustion, constantly harrying and pricking it. 
 
 `` You attack, and in a century, probably less, your descendants would look up and see nothing but the black muzzle of a human weapon. And in that final moment, they would curse your name as oathbreaker and doombringer. 
 
 `` So....why should we let you live?'' 
 
 Silence again. 
 
 `` You... are insane.'' 
 
 `` Genius and insanity are often two sides of the same coin. All geniuses are a little mad.'' 
 
 `` We will not attack your planet'' 
 
 `` Oh? We too tough for you?'' 
 
 There was a sudden flash, and I was back on Earth. Streetlights gleamed yellow, and the cold bit into my skin. I was about a block away from my house. 
 
 A small white light floated in front of me. 
 
 `` We will not attack. Your people are obviously incapable of reason.'' 
 
 I watched until the light flickered out. 
 
 `` Eh, good enough for me''.
