[ WP ] One day your guardian angel appears and tells you about all the kick-ass protection you 've been getting .

Do you understand you're a horrible protectee? Every day I work for you, trying to make you live a happy and fulfilling life, but you're so goddamn unappreciative. When you finished that book you were unhappy that it was over. How entitled do you have to be? I used to work to protect that Josef Stalin character. He *made* something out of himself. He went from having these weird scars from smallpox to putting my colleagues out of work. Do you realize he created an unemployment crisis for guardian angels? 
 
 It was very difficult trying to protect him, it seemed like even his cat was ready to murder him in his sleep. The wages were amazing, due to the skill required but he was putting all my friends out of work so I lost them too. I gave up on the job and let him die. What I'm saying is that I'm a fucking professional. I singlehandedly kept Stalin alive, willing to become resented by everyone I know. My work usually comes before everything, but noone was willing to be a reference, and when they did say something, they say `` Job abandonment'' so I get stuck with *you*. A great analogy would be if Albert Einstein one day had an outburst and he was relegated to be a High School physics teacher because everyone hated him. I'm that hypothetical Einstein. 
 
 You should be ecstatic to have one of the best in the industry at your side. But no you always bitch and moan. Remember the one person you had a crush on when you were like, 14? Love is meaningless at that age, but I still did you a favor. Remember how you actually had the audacity to cry and moan when said crush died in a car accident? You know the love was n't mutual, right? I went above and beyond to stop you from having to deal with rejection. Usually a guardian angel might stop a fatal car crash to only being a debilitating injury, but I also went for the emotional happiness, too. 
 
 Remember the Black Friday sale with that computer that was on a really good sale? 
 
 Like 90 % off? 
 
 Remember how you got stuck into traffic? 
 
 That business was actually doing bait and switch. There was no computer. 
 
 You're pathetic, I only work for you because I quit my last job and no one will be a good reference. 
 
 Hey, remember that one kid who you were kinda rude too when he asked for some change for the bus? 
 
 It was for a bus. 
 
 Hey, remember how he said `` I wo n't forget you''? 
 
 He was serious. 
 
 In fact, did you know he's part of some organized criminal organization now? 
 
 Funny thing actually, he founded it. 
 
 Do you realize I've been keeping them off of you for the last 5 years? 
 
 I'm a professional and I quit. 
 
 *** 
 
 Writer's note: I'm still kinda new to this subreddit ( this is an alt account for this subreddit ), and new to creative writing in general, so CC is definitely welcome and requested. I liked the idea of guardian angels being apathetic morally and worried solely about the well-being of their protectee. I remember hearing that `` Everyone has a guardian angel.'' and I interpreted that as meaning that they're not their ethically and are more worried about their work than their own ethics. I mean if Hitler and Stalin have guardian angels, that must be the only logical conclusion. 
 

