[ WP ] Another murder case where once again all evidence points to the squirrels .

Detective Matthews timidly opened the door to Sergeant Johnson ’ s office. 
 
 “ Emm, Excuse me sir? ” Matthews stuttered, “ So you know the murder, that you assigned me to investigate? ” 
 
 “ Of course I know the murder case I assigned you, Matthews, what about it? ” 
 
 “ Well you see sir, I ran all the tests, and did all the investigating, and I know you don ’ t want to hear this but it ’ s looking likely that this case might end up being like, you know, similar to those other cases I have had over the last few weeks. ” 
 
 “ Matthews. I am going to give you one chance, right now to start over. You can leave my office right now, and come back in 5 minutes, with a reasonable explanation for the murder, and I can just pretend that this never happened. ” 
 
 “ But sir, the evidence is overwhelming, and this time I have undeniable proof. ” 
 
 “ Matthews. You have worn my patience thin. There has not, nor will there ever be a case, in which the murder is done by a highly trained pack of squirrels. ” 
 
 “ That ’ s what I thought myself sir, but honestly you have got to pour through the facts yourself, there is no other reasonable ex-. ” 
 
 “ MATTHEWS. STOP THIS. STOP THIS RIGHT NOW. You have been on the force for 5 short weeks. 4 weeks ago I gave you an assignment on a murder case out of the goodness of my heart and since then every god damn case you are assigned to you have pointed towards murderous squirrels. Now don ’ t get me wrong, you are one hell of a cop, and I say this with a heavy heart, but if you are not able to pin this latest murder on some low life who is actually likely to have done this sort of thing, then I am going to have to ask for your badge and gun. ” 
 
 “ Sir, just hear me out. The reason I have come in here today is not just to give you another theory of mine. And while I stand by all the previous cases I am willing to concede them if you just consider this one. I have a significant lead on a woman who claims to have seen the incident ” 
 
 “ A WITNESS? A WITNESS? YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID YOU HAD A WITNESS AT THE VERY BEGINNING. ” 
 
 Sergeant Johnson picked up his baton and struck Detective Matthews across the face, he fell unconscious. Out of the pockets and sleeves of his oversized coat poured out a multitude of squirrels, devouring the body. 

