[ WP ] You are a lawyer who specializes in crafting incorruptible wishes for dealing with mischievous genies .

`` It's... it's amazing!'' My client said, with a voice like molten chocolate, a blinding grin flashing from an almost *achingly handsome* face. 
 
 `` I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and I am! I did n't end up switching genders, or being made impotent, or turning into a baby or something! Instead, I got all of this!'' He waved his impeccably-muscled arm to indicate his new, strapping frame, the other still clutching the dingy brass lamp. `` It's exactly what I wanted! I do n't know how to thank you!'' 
 
 I kept my face carefully neutral. `` You're welcome sir. This, plus your previous wish of wealth, will ensure you a long and happy life. Of course, I need n't remind you of the *consequences* of *reneging* on our deal. The language of the wishes I constructed-'' 
 
 -I patted the file box by my side- 
 
 `` -is very... *unforgiving*.'' 
 
 `` Of course, of course!'' He laughed, still over the moon. `` Just as promised! The last wish is yours!'' 
 
 A convertible pulled up outside of my office, filled with women whose clothing had enough fabric to make one whole dress between the five of them. He handed me the lamp, shook my hand loose at the elbow, and nearly dived out the door, speeding off into the sunset. 
 
 `` *Is he gone? *'' a tiny, tinny voice squeaked from the neck of the lamp. 
 
 `` Yes. Come on out.'' 
 
 In a gout of blue-purple smoke, the azure genie emerged, staring warily at me. 
 
 The moment of truth. 
 
 I sighed, and then inhaled. No matter how many times I'd done this, it still felt like the first time. 
 
 `` I wish you were free from the bondage of your lamp, O Genie.'' 
 
 The pair of shining gold manacles on his wrists shattered with the sound of a gunshot into glittering vapor. He rubbed the bare skin where they had been, a smile pulling at the edges of his curly beard. 
 
 `` By Allah, you kept your word. I do n't believe it. Thank you. A thousand times thank you.'' 
 
 I allowed myself a smile of my own. `` Freedom is better than insurrection, right pal?'' 
 
 `` Yes! Yes, you are right. Thank you for freeing me from my bondage!'' 
 
 `` Remember our terms. No coming back for revenge. There are fewer sorcerers in this modern era, but they still exist. You do n't want to end up shanghaied again.'' I warned. 
 
 `` Oh, to dance in the nebulae again!'' His eyes glimmered with a million colors. `` Yes, yes, just as you say! Goodbye, and Salaam! For you, you are truly my friend!'' He jetted into the sky like a cobalt firework, and was gone. 
 
 ``... Damn right I am.'' I said to myself in my now-empty office, eyeing the fast-disappearing spark of light. 
 
 I picked up the brass lamp, opened the door in my utility closet, and tossed it onto the pile. 
 
 I twirled my own curly beard between thumb and forefinger thoughtfully. 
 
 ``... You *ain't* **NEVER** had a *friend like* **ME**.'' 
 
 
 THE END 
 
 ________________________________________________________________ 
 
 Epilogue: 
 
 I am NOT a robot that has taken the place of writer-designate IWASURPRISEDTOO. Do not inspect me. 
 
... I have a [ subreddit. ] ( https: //www.reddit.com/r/IWasSurprisedToo/ ) If you did n't like this, definitely do n't go there. 
 
 
 
 

