[ WP ] Humans are the only intelligent species in the universe to have evolved from predators . Every other sentient species has evolved from a prey species ... and so they are terrified of us . Now it 's up to you to persuade the Galactic Council that we wo n't hunt them down and eat them all .

Footsteps echoed as I turned the corner. Mumbled clicks and shrieks grew as I approached the blue-green door. It peeled away like an onion as figures moved in the distance. Hovering platforms began to settle as metallic disks filled them. Each stuffed with beings more bizarre than the next. I should call them aliens but they very eerily reminded me of something that would be evolution's wet dream of chickens, gazelles and some gibbons. Something that looked like an alien pig with a lazer pen began to grunt. He passed along the message to a slide covered drone. It floated down. Ooze extending from its port side. With the grace of a librarian the robot handed me the message with a greenish slime that was forming the structure of talons. 
 The message was slightly askew as I peered closer. After a few moments I had to make eye contact with the space hog. 
 Stick what down my throat? 
 He waved a hooved hand towards the podium in front of me. 
 The silver platform beeped as I stood on it. As I rose in the air. A thin mesh matrix spread across making a giant sphere. Grotesque faces popped onto the material as I made direct eye contact with the hog. It was better quality resolution than any television or device by a thousand. I glanced down noticing a silver box. A small gray tube stuck out like a string from a thing of dental floss. I rose the thing hesitantly to the screen. Unsure where my cameras were. He gave a rippling grunt which I could only presume was a yes. I held the tube to my mouth as it started to slither down. Melding with the flesh in my body. I wheezed nervously as I asked what the thing was. The words that came out sounded like a caribou waking up. I creeked out the words in their tounge. `` Y'all understand?'' 
 Confused faces met me. I waved my hand apologetically. `` Do you all understand my words?'' 
 I swallowed. Praying that I was n't accidentally insulting their mothers. 
 Words seeped into my little sphere. `` You picked it up fast simian.'' 
 I let out a chuckle. 
 The hog called me a monkey. 
 `` So thank you for sending the invite to our satellites but your message was. Intriguing. You feared we would hunt you?'' 
 A cackle let out all around me as screeches and yelps echoed. The hog began to snicker. Letting out as much of a grin something that looks like Wilbur could. `` We were worried you would want to hunt us. Because you lacked the capability of creating harmony with the other species on your planet. It was a mild attempt at creating a laugh. Good to note humor was not as advanced as we had presumed.'' 
 I gave a stiff nod. `` Harmony with our wildlife?'' 
 He gave a nod back mimicking me. `` Every species that has joined our.'' He clicked his hooves as he paused. `` Best human word is'Herd'. Has banded and defeated their natural predators into extinction.'' 
 `` So no other omnivorous species have joined your armada?'' 
 The pig grunted. `` No such thing exists in our coalition. They have outgrown their urges.'' 
 Dear God. The first aliens we have to deal with are snobby vegans? 
 I shuffled slightly in the little sphere they began to feel more like the tube shoved down my throat. 
 `` I feel as if we should explain that a majority of our earth lacks the means for sustainable farming.'' 
 The pig nodded. `` We can educate you on that.'' 
 I could feel myself stiffening. In through the nose out, through the mouth. I breathed slower. Draw your breath son. Do n't let it rattle. 
 `` You feel we need to be taught to join your herd?'' 
 They laughed. `` We prefer the term domesticated.'' 
 For the first time since I stepped into the floating eight ball I smiled. 
 `` Not sure that's possible Chief.'' 
 He cocked his head tusks glinting off the computer screen. 
 `` Do tell simian.'' 
 I raised my head. 
 `` Because your cousins taste delicious.'' 
 His eyes bulged as nervous clucking and baying erupted. 
 I began to laugh as the sphere began to lower, my smile growing. `` Sorry if we prefer our humor like our meat. Dark.'' 
 
 

