[ WP ] Write a murder from the perspective of a cheerful inanimate object

`` Good mornin', Sam! Good mornin', Rob! How's it hanging?'' Harry the Hammer chuckled at his own joke. That never got old. 
 
 
 Sam the Saw grumbled. `` What's so good about it?'' 
 
 
 `` What's NOT good about it? It's another dank day in the Man's musty garage. Look! There's a new spider in the neighborhood! I wonder if he'll be our friend? And we've each got a shiny hook to hang off of. Oh, sorry Rob.'' 
 
 
 Rob the Ratchet muttered from inside his box. `` Yeah, keep gloating about yer fancy hook. You do n't have kids to take care of.'' 
 
 
 Undeterred, Harry rubbed his non-existent hands together in glee. `` Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Today could the day. The Man might come down here, pick us up off the wall, and use us!'' 
 
 
 `` Pfft. Lucky you. There's no way I'm getting out until spring, earliest.'' Sam's mood just got worse and worse. 
 
 
 `` Aw, c'mon, stay positive! Maybe a tree will fall on the house!'' 
 
 
 The ceiling creaked under thunderous footfalls. `` Oh look! Here he comes! See? What did I tell you guy?'' Harry exclaimed triumphantly. 
 
 
 Rob rebutted, `` Nah, he's in no shape to be using us today.'' The tools listened together in expectant silence. Some irregular, stumbling steps, followed by the crash of a shattering glass vase. The click of light switch. The customary exchange of shrill screams and throaty shouts. 
 
 
 Suddenly, a sharp crack broke the alternating pattern, turning it into a continuous, high-pitched wail. A crescendo of footsteps approached down the stairs. 
 
 
 `` That's... not normal,'' Sam worried. The door to the garage flew open, bathing the garage in the dim light of a single dangling light bulb. 
 
 
 `` Ooh, I'll bet she told him to hang a painting!'' cheered Harry as the Man's meaty hand grasped his handle. 
 
 
 `` Alright guys, see you later!'' Harry called out as he disappeared from view. `` Wheee!!!! Red!'' 

