[ WP ] A homeowner confuses two Mormons for federal agents looking for a fugitive named 'Jesus ' .

`` Look I am not hiding a man named Jesus in my house, and if I was I certainly would n't have accepted him'into my heart.''' 
 
 I tried to explain it to the men, but they simply would n't take no for an answer. 
 
 `` You do n't have a warrant, and even if you did you would n't find anyone in here, so stop asking.'' 
 
 `` No, sir'' 
 
 `` But that is n't all,'' I interrupted. `` There is absolutely no illegal activity at all inside this house.'' 
 
 `` Bu..'' 
 
 `` In fact,'' I interrupted again. `` If you really think there is then why do n't you just come on i...... WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE.'' 
 
 Those sly bastards almost got me. `` I ai n't falling for any of your tricks. I'm not going to invite you in. Why do n't you just go back to DC with your fancy suits and badges.'' 
 
 `` But we never showed you badges,'' the man exclaimed, finally able to get a word in. 
 
 `` That's right,'' I realized. `` You did n't. You came here and harassed me without a warrant or showing me your badges. Now pull them out so I can write a complaint.'' I asserted to them. 
 
 `` We do n't have any,'' the other one said. `` But if you have time I'd love to talk to you about Jesus Ch --.'' 
 
 `` Did n't I say I knew nothing about a man named Jesus!'' I yelled. `` And hurry up and give me your damn badge numbers. You ca n't hide from me pricks.'' 
 
 Then they looked at each other confusedly. Not knowing what to do, the stuffed a bunch of pamphlets in my mailbox and ran. I chased after them, but could n't catch them on their bikes. 
 
 `` What kind of dipshit secret agent ride bikes anyway,'' I screamed as I ran after them. What assholes. How dare the US Government disrupt my home like that, and how dare those agents run away on me. 
 
 Some people.
