[ WP ] You 've found a magic typewriter , and everything you type will come to life .

'Magic typewriter,' read the pamphlet,'makes real the written word'. 
 `` Bollocks,'' said Will, `` Let see how it handles this then.'' 
 > *barrel of exploded horse rectum* 
 Will instantly regretted his life choices. Before him sat the ends of horse colons bloomed like meaty flowers dying in the autumn. Rich and red in colour and emitting an unsettling amount of heat. 
 They smelled like an abattoir that had been used to filter an alcoholics bowels movements for corn. 
 > *some sentient creature to experience this with* 
 Before him stood a purple Rhino named Alice, Evident by the name tag, A male Rhino, but Alice is n't necessarily a girls name among all known purple rhino so who is to judge. 
 `` Why? would this be what you create?'' asked Alice in a tragically Scottish accent. 
 `` I'm not going to stand here beside a barrel of hot rancid horse arse flowers being berated by a trans purple Scottish rhino.'' 
 Will left and Alice had no fingers. In fear of more Wills the rhino trampled the typewriter. This is why we ca n't have nice things.
