[ WP ] You 're a time traveller who has gone back five years in time to amass a fortune by placing bets . Life is good until one day you are paid a visit by the FBI .

See now? We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. I'd much rather go the easy way, but actually you people never do take it. At least give me this much: You know why we're here? Well, well, well. It will be hard, no doubt, with you playing dumb. 
 
 You see, every once in a while we get one of you people. Not often, but we do, sometimes. And I'm always amazed by the simple fact that you will actually try to convince us that winning the lottery three times straight are odds to be easily shrugged off as actually possible. Have you ever heard about Occam's razor? Of course you have n't, well, whenever you come from, yes, I said whenever, we at least know you regard us as stupid. 
 
 Well let me tell you, we gave birth to you people, so you should n't really go assuming that we are totally clueless about life. 2000 years ago, give or take a year, the bible was written, and somewhere there was already written `` there's nothing new under the sun''. It has n't changed in 2000 years, what makes you think it'll change for 2300? 
 
 Your state of complete surprise is offensive. You are really slow catching up. So whoever you are, you're not that bright, so you did n't invent this one. I mean the machine, or whatever method you used to come here. That'll be bothersome, because I think we'll probably have to torture you to get the creator of the method, that is, if you know who it is. No, we wo n't believe what you're saying now, we'd be crazy, specially seeing how uncooperative you've been since we came here. 
 
 What's that? Rights, you say? See now who is the idiot? We have abortion, you know, and those little fuckers are already here. You are not even in your mother's womb yet, that's if she was even born, and you're gon na go claiming for rights? Well I do n't think so, we wo n't let you get to any papers. And they'll take you for crazy. We know, but people does n't. The still think it's Sci Fi. If you do cooperate with us, and the facts check out, maybe we'll even let you live. We can help out, we can provide you for a new life, new identity, the whole deal. We can, of course, also destroy you. 
 
 Well, you could begin by telling us how you got here. Now, do n't even try implying that just because we ca n't time travel, we wo n't know you're lying. So far, we know of around 30 methods of time travelling. Yours might be new, every now and then some new method pops up, or it might be one already known to us. If it is, we will send someone to the minute you disappeared from your original timeline, and make sure nobody uses it again. Yes, we make sure. Yes, it means killing your friends and family and whoever is in on it. Oh you'll never tell on them? Well that's just a few billion dollars of tachion research for some two months, and then we'll go anyway. This is the cheapest, easy way, and at least you get to go on living, but there's too much at stake. Usually our government destroys the events that lead to a non desirable timeline. 
 
 The empire, you say? Of course it's us. Of course we started it. It's obvious you're no Che Guevara, you just wanted millions of dollars in the easiest way possible to live a happy life in the best possible moment, and that's the 1960-2060's in United States of America. But it's not just you lazy asses like you who come down our way. We'll sometimes have people who want to stop us, who want to stop the empire from ever beginning. Well, you should have thought of that sooner. You should have traveled further back, and we might have lost you. 
 
 You moron, why do you even think we thought of such a stupid thing as a lottery in the first place? It's bait. You're here because we want you here. And now, you're gon na helps us. 
 
 Edit: Grammar.
