[ WP ] He is ... The Most Paranoid Man in the World .

He is, John! The Most Paranoid Man in the World 
 
 Born premature to Gail and David, a newborn babe whose health was faded 
 
 They named him John, innocuously, more for the sake of bureaucracy 
 
 David dropped him on his head, by mistake, or so he said 
 
 He grew up weedy, knock-kneed and weak 
 
 His mother's cooking made his prospects bleak 
 
 At night she kissed him on the neck, probably just to keep him in check 
 
 At school his grades were n't bad, that is, unless he was being had 
 
 Years later he found a job in finance, and rather quickly a girlfriend called Nance 
 
 Nance only loved him for his car, it was red like her head and took them far 
 
 They drove through the English Channel Tunnel, which Thank God did n't bury them in rubble 
 
 In France they did n't hire a guide, everyone took them for a ride 
 
 Nance spoke French, with an accent, the waiter did n't seem to mind 
 
 A little discount on the food, left John in a sour mood 
 
 He stormed out he realised, no one looked him in the eyes 
 
 What if they knew? A suspicion grew 
 
 Of course he'd seen the Truman show 
 
 An underwater road? What a joke! Why would n't they let him on a boat!? 
 
 He caught a taxi right to Calais 
 
 Stole a paddle and board from a chalet 
 
 I'll go west, just as a test! 
 
 They say he's still looking for a wall 

