[ WP ] After a massive US Government document leak , it is revealed that all conspiracy theories are true , including 9/11 , The Moon Landings and Roswell .

When I walked in the house, I saw Wanja leaned over her laptop, intent as hell. Did n't even react when the door banged to announce my entrance. 
 
 `` Who's happy to see her baby, baby?'' I sang as I walked up behind her. 
 
 `` Babe, read this shit breaking now on Huffpost''. 
 
 `` I'd rather you just give me your special Embu shower, babe''. 
 
 `` No, I'm serious. I do n't know if they hoaxing, or what, but they say Snowman just dropped the biggest turd in his pack. He's showed documents in which the govmint admits that 9/11 was an inside job''. 
 
 `` Baby, ca n't be true. Snowman is bent himself, I think. Do n't believe a thing he says anymore. Sure he works for the man... He's the man's man''. 
 
 `` Shit. Not only that but it says Kennedy pissed off the cia and they did him. And biggest scoop of all?? Obama is owned, just a puppet.'' 
 
 OK, Wanja's a Kenyan living under the wire with me here in Thailand. As a result, she has too much time online. And something has bitten her lately and she's on to Alex Jones, Snowden, and all the other conspiracy guys. 
 
 Hey, not saying they might not be right but she's overboarding a bit. I've threatened to waterboard her twice in the last 10 days if she does n't relax a little. 
 
 Does n't scare my baby a whit. `` Bring on your motherfuckin' waterboard, boil the mofo water if you like. I'm born to waste the waterboard''. 
 
 No wonder I love her. Ai n't the mojo, ai n't the swagger, it's her attitude, she's slicin everywhere she goes. But kindly. Yes, very kindly.
