[ WP ] A modern teenager is transported into a fantasy world , where they are forced into a quest with young witches and wizards their age . Fortunately , they 've got a backpack full of high-tech gizmos to help them along .

This was bad. 
 
 I gestured threateningly with my'wand', trying to keep the slavering orc at bay. Towering far overhead, he eyed my makeshift weapon with a curious expression, hands twitching at his sides. This was not good, I had read all about Orcs, and not a single time had they ended well. Death, pillaging, and rape, and I fully intended not to fall a victim to any of the three. 
 
 `` Get back! I mean it, I'll cast magic... phallus at you,'' I sputtered, trying to puff myself up in a way that I hoped looked menacing, waving around the novelty apparatus I had bought early this day. 
 
 I had **not** been prepared for this. All my life I had wanted to go to be transported to a magic world, but snagging me as well as my backpack while I was at the annual BDSM Con? That was just cruel. And I do n't think the orc was buying the whole `` wand'' bit. Perhaps I should have yelled that it was a magic staff, the length was certainly more suitable for it. 
 
 Ahead, the monster glowered as it slowly advanced, sizing me up with it's two blood-shot eyes, and I admit, I panicked, forcing me to use my trump card. Trying to hide my hand movements, I hit the power switch. Suddenly, as if by magic ( At least, I hoped it appeared ), the 25 inches of squishy glory lit up and started to vibrate menacingly. I started slurring my words in long, gibberish syllables, desperately trying to remember how every spell and incantation had sounded in all of my countless hours watching movies and shows about magic and sorcerers. No luck though, he was n't buying it. I curled back and squeezed my eyes shut as the orc reached a single dinner-plate sized furry hand down towards me. 
 
 Gingerly plucking my sole defense against it, the monster carefully inspected the... wand. I carefully opened my eyes, my arms still extended overhead. *Perhaps not the finest way to live out a last moment, * I thought. 
 
 `` Hmmmm, not bad craftmanship,'' he muttered, pulling out a worn set of spectacles and setting them on the bridge of his nose, carefully turning over the novelty item in his huge hands. 
 
 `` I'll have to take this one home to the missus and see if she can cast a duplicate charm on it, the internal parts look fragile, and she always says that earth batteries are a pain to reproduce. It would be worth it though, the centaurians will buy them all out in a week...'' mumbling to himself, he appeared fully lost in thought. 
 
 That seemed *decidedly* un-orclike. I carefully watched the seven-foot creature, a whole lot more confused than I had been than even when I was sucked from my home without warning. 
 
 `` I am Eric of the Bloodkin,'' The orc declared proudly, one hand thumping his chest, `` And you are the new supplier I was promised, it seems...'' he trailed off, a bit confused, scratching his head. Seeing desperate tears forming at the corners of my eyes, he frantically continued, now waving his hands frantically to calm me down. 
 
 `` Easy now, I wo n't bite, and if you have any more goodies like the one you offered me in that very full bag of yours, I have a feeling that we both will become very, very rich.'' 
 
 Eric smiled uneasily, his fangs extending from his jaw, extending one hand down to me. I tried not to flich as a long line of drool settled across my arm and started to fizzle faintly. Carefully, I accepted it and let him pull me to my feet. 
 
 `` Now!'' he boomed, `` What, pray tell, is the name of my new compatriot in this land of cutthroat business?'' 
 
 `` Sam,'' I said hoarsely, `` Just... just Sam.'' 
 
 `` Well Just Sam, how would you like to make a lot of money?'' Eric asked me, carefully nudging me with an elbow. 
 
 Mutely, I nodded. It was a step up from being murdered, pillaged, and raped. Hopefully. 
 
 Eric wooped a laugh, tucking me under his arm, and started down the mountain slope in a sprint. Rocks flew from underfoot, and somewhere I lost one of my shoes. 
 
 Then again, perhaps death would have been better. 
 

