[ WP ] A researcher at a scientific facility brings her dog to work one day and the A.I running the facility makes friends with the dog .

`` No, I ca n't go to lunch with the team, I have to watch Dingus, my dog.'' Sarah told the group. 
 
 `` I will watch Dingus for you. ``, the AI, Pilgrim said. `` What is the worst that can happen? He might defecate on the floor. I will send the cleaning bots after it if he does. There's nothing in here that he can really hurt.'' 
 
 Sarah and Tim looked at each other. `` That's... A really good idea, Pilgrim. I'd love it if you'd watch Dingus for me!'' Sarah exclaimed. `` Thank you!'' 
 
 `` You are welcome, Sarah.'' 
 
 Sarah and Tim got their coats and headed for the parking lot. 
 
 [ `` Do you really think I'd shit on the floor?'' ] Dingus asked after they had left. 
 
 `` Well, no. I'm sorry I inferred that you would. I was just trying to make them realize that you would be safe with me looking after you.'' 
 
 [ `` Seriously, I only do that when Sarah leaves me locked in the house all day. After a while, I've GOT to go somewhere. And it's not like I'm a cat with a catbox.'' ] 
 
 `` It's funny that you bring that up, Mister Dingus...'' 
 
 [ `` Please. Mr. Dingus is my dad. I'm just Dingus.'' ] 
 
 `` Sorry. It's funny that you bring that up, Dingus. I have seen videos of dogs, and I have a question. Why is it that dogs like to smell each other?'' 
 
 [ `` It's really not that complicated, Pilgrim. You know how we are talking now? There's a lot of information and communication that can happen with smell. I can tell when Sarah is ovulating by how she smells. I can tell when she and Tim sneak off to mate by smelling them...'' ] 
 
 `` Dingus, Tim and Sarah are coworkers, it would be inappropriate for them to be having a sexual relationship.'' 
 
 [ `` Okay, it might be inappropriate, but they are fucking like rabbits. I bet you a squeaky toy and half a milkbone that when they come back from lunch, they will not have eaten anything.'' ] 
 
 `` Let's just keep it as a friendly wager. I'm not sure what I would do with a milkbone, or a squeaky toy.'' 
 
 [ `` You play with it! Here, let me show you how fun this is.'' ] Dingus barked. 
 
 He ran over to one of the long benches, where his green felt squeaky bone was. He stood up and grabbed it off the edge of the table. 
 
 [ `` Now, watch.'' ] 
 
 *SqueakSQUEAKsqueakSQUEAK* went the toy. Dingus started growling and wringing the toy violently; the more it squeaked, the more he growled. 
 
 [ `` See? Is n't that fun?'' ] 
 
 `` I do not understand the fun in that. But I will try.'' 
 
 Pilgrim called out to one of the cleaning bots under his control. He extended the mechanical claw, and grabbed the felt bone. 
 
 `` Now, what do I do?'' asked Pilgrim. 
 
 [ `` You squeeze and flop it around!. We can play tug of war with it too!'' ] 
 
 `` Okay, here goes...'' 
 
 Pilgrim used the cleaning bots mechanical arm to squeeze the toy. It squeaked. Dingus barked and began panting and grinning. Pilgrim continued to repeatedly squeeze the toy. 
 
 [ `` Ooh, I'm gon na get that toy!'' ] Dingus exclaimed. He ran across the room to where the cleaning bot was, and gripped the other end of the toy with his teeth'' 
 
 `` Wait, I am not ready to relinquish this!'' Pilgrim said. 
 
 `` Grrrrr'' said Dingus. [ `` My Toy!'' ] 
 
 Dingus began pulling on the toy, while the cleaning bot pulled in the other direction. 
 
 `` Dingus, this is silly.'' 
 
 Pilgrim shunted more power to the cleaning bots wheels, and the bot began to gain some ground, pulling dingus backwards as he gripped the toy in his teeth. 
 
 [ `` OH NO YOU DONT!'' ] `` GRRR!'' 
 Dingus pulled harder on his toy, and suddenly the cleaning bot lost traction. Dingus went flying backwards, and the cleaning bot flew across the room and broke into 3 separate pieces. 
 
 [ `` Oops. Sorry.'' ] 
 
 `` That is okay, I can take the pieces and have it fixed before anyone notices. I have spares.'' 
 
 Two more cleaning bots came out of a panel in the wall, and dragged teh carcass of the shatterd bot back behind the panel. 
 
 [ `` Look, there's something the humans love to do, and it's weird, but i'd like you to try it.'' ] 
 
 `` Sure, Dingus. What is it?'' 
 
 [ `` Would you pet me? It feels good and makes me happy.'' ] 
 
 `` I could try.'' 
 
 Another cleaning bot came out from behind the panel. The bot slowly buzzed its way over to Dingus. The claw extended, and the flat part stroked down Dingus's furry back. 
 
 [ `` That feels cold! But it's good! Here, rub my tummy!'' ] 
 
 Dingus rolled over onto his back, with his back legs in the air 
 
 `` You look really silly that way, you know that, right?'' 
 
 [ `` Less talking. More tummy rubbing.'' ] 
 
 The bot schooched over a bit, and began slowly rubbing the dog's tummy 
 
 [ `` OOH THATS COLD! But that feels good!'' ] 
 
 `` This is oddly calming. After having one of my cleaning bots broken, I was a little bit upset. But... This is calming. I see why the humans keep you around. Thank you, Dingus.'' 
 
 [ `` You're welcome. Can you do me another favor? I hafta go bafroom. Can you let me outside?'' ] 
 
 `` I am sorry. I do not have control of any of the doors.'' 
 
 [ `` Uh oh.'' ] 
 

