[ WP ] In a world populated by vampires , werewolves , fairies , wizards , witches , orcs , elves , unicorns and the like , there comes a creature unlike any other ; a human .

“ You ’ re a human? ” The fairy scrunched up her face as she said this, clearly not sure what to make of it. 
 
 “ Yes, a human. ” The growing crowd exchanged furtive glances, not certain if the being before them was friend or foe. 
 
 “ Yes, but.. what do you do, exactly? ” 
 
 I paused, not sure how to respond. This day had been a whirlwind. Here I was, in a crowd of … well, I suppose you could call them people. There were witches, wizards, fairies. A large fellow to my side smelled strongly of wet dog, but who am I to judge? 
 
 I had n't meant to come here, you see. In fact, if you ’ d told me a few hours ago that such a place even existed, I would have laughed you out of my office. 
 
 “ I ’ m an accountant, ” I replied. This would have aroused a certain level of respect in my world. Not interest, but respect. 
 
 
 The statement did not have the same effect here. 
 
 
 “ An accountant? ” asked a vampire with a particularly pointy nose. He leaned forward to peer at me more closely. There was murmuring from the crowd as they tried to decide exactly what an accountant was, and if it was to be trusted. 
 
 A man, clearly a wizard, who had so far been silent stepped forward from the back of the crowd. 
 
 “ I think, what we mean to ask is, why are you here? ” 
 
 
 
 Why am I here? That was an excellent question. It all started about four hours ago. I was on my way home from what was, for once, a short day at the office. I was driving down the highway when a semi-trailer swerved into my lane, nearly hitting me. Shaken, I pulled over to the shoulder. I spent the next few minutes collecting my thoughts and reliving my not-so-near-death experience. 
 
 What if I had died? Well, that would be the end of it. Would that be so bad? What do I do anyway? I spend 60 hours a week in an office full of people that I don ’ t like, all so that I can make money to afford a home that I never get to spend time in, filled with objects that I never have time to use. 
 
 I decided I would go for a short walk to clear my head. I drove around until I found a nature-area. Leaving my things in the car, I stepped out and took a deep breath of fresh air. 
 
 After about 20 minutes of walking on the paved trail through the woods, I realized it was starting to get dark. I decided to turn around, but something off the path caught my eye. 
 
 It was sort of hazy, I suppose. It looked the way mirages are shown in the movies, with a sort of wavy un-realness about it. 
 
 It was a circle, about three-feet wide, between a few oak trees. I stepped forward, eager to get a closer look. And then, I tripped. 
 
 I fell right on to whatever it was, and when I got up to brush the dirt and pine needles of my pants, it was no longer there. 
 
 I figured I was tired, imagining things. So I turned around to head back to the trail. 
 
 The trail, however, was not there. 
 
 At first, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, or that I had turned the wrong direction. But then I realized, I was n't even in the same forest. No, the trees here were different, there was a stream to my side, and it was n't quite as dark anymore. 
 
 Shit. I had two options: I could panic, or I could be smart and find a way out. 
 
 I chose the first option. 
 
 At least, just for a few minutes. When I finally calmed down, I decided to follow the stream. That ’ s what they do in the movies, right? Follow a water source? 
 
 After what felt like hours, I heard voices. I quickened my pace in order to reach them before they left, but I came to a dead stop when they came into view. 
 
 There were monsters in this forest. Two great big monsters. Lord of the Rings style monsters. What the hell was going on? 
 
 “ So then Joe says, ‘ I don ’ t need you here any more, Lisa. You ’ re not worth the hassle, anyway. ’ ” The first monster was very upset. 
 
 “ He did NOT say that? ” The other monster clearly commiserated with Lisa ’ s plight. 
 “ Yes, he did, and so I left. I didn ’ t know what t- ” 
 
 She stopped when she saw me. 
 
 “ Hello, ” she said. 
 
 I quickly stepped back against the nearest tree, eyes probably wide with fear. 
 
 “ Are you okay? ” 
 
 Recovering from my paralyzing fear, I asked, “ Er, where are we, exactly? ” 
 
 Anyway, that led to a conversation about the land I had accidentally fallen into. I would not have believed it, except, you know, I was being told all about it by an orc named Lisa who just broke up with her werewolf boyfriend Joe. ( In fact, I was getting to hear much more about the breakup than this mysterious land. ) 
 
 Expressing my desire to find a way back to where I came from, Lisa and Andie, as the other monster was called, decided to take me to their town meeting place. 
 
 And that was how I wound up here, surrounded by a crowd of curious monsters who were n't 100 % sure what a human was. 
 
 
 
 The piercing stare I was getting from the wizard brought me back to the moment. 
 
 “ I don ’ t know why I ’ m here. I fell into this mirage hole thing in the nature-area I was walking in and then I ended up by a stream. Then these two found me and brought me here. I do need to find a way back, though. Can you help me with that? ” 
 
 “ I can, ” the wizard said, “ but are you certain you want to go back? ” 
 
 No, I was n't sure. This place was amazing and fun and interesting. All I had to go back to was an empty house and a job I was n't sure I liked. I never did anything anymore. It ’ s the same routine day-in and day-out. 
 
 This, though, this was something. It really was. I could be happy here. 
 
 “ You are n't happy in your world? ” the wizard asked. 
 
 “ Well, I would n't say unhappy. Tired, yes. Bored, usually. I feel like I have no purpose, anymore. ” I thought more about the question he ’ d asked me. “ How did you know I was unhappy? ” 
 
 “ Do you truly feel you are without purpose? Are you truly so tired of your own world that you are willing to give it all up for this? ” the wizard asked, ignoring my question. 
 
 “ Well, no, I guess not. I mean, I have family and friends. There are things I enjoy doing. I suppose I just get so caught up in work that I forget to set aside time for things that I enjoy, things that mean something. ” 
 
 “ So, ” the wizard said, “ you are indeed ready to return? ” 
 
 “ Yes, yes I am. ” 
 
 “ Good, ” he said. He smiled and snapped his fingers. 
 
 I sat bolt-right up, which caused me a great deal of pain, and I quickly went right back down. 
 
 “ Are you okay? ” my sister asked, her voice shaking. 
 
 “ Uh.. I.. yes. I.. where am I? ” 
 
 “ You ’ re in the hospital, dear, ” my mother said as she adjusted the blankets by my feet. “ You were hit by a truck on the way home from work. You've had a couple surgeries. Are you feeling okay? I ’ ll get the doctor. ” 
 
 “ I.. yes, I ’ m feeling fine. I guess. But, I was hit? In my car? I was n't in the forest? ” 
 
 “ Why would you be in the forest? ” my sister asked, frowning. 
 
 “ I guess I had a dream. I went for a walk, and I fell into a different world. There were all of these mythical creatures, fairies and witches. ” 
 
 “ Definitely a dream, ” my sister said firmly. “ I ’ m so glad you ’ re okay. It was touch-and-go there for a while. We were really scared. ” 
 
 “ I asked for help getting back. I guess it must of worked.'' This statement only deepened my sister's frown. 
 
 Mom came back in, followed by a tall doctor in a white coat. But this was no doctor. 
 
 “ Holy shit, you ’ re the wizard! ” 
 
 The wizard doctor chuckled, “ Well, I've been called a lot of things, but this is a first for ‘ wizard. ’ ” He looked down at my chart. “ You seem to be recovering well. Your vital signs are normal. We ’ re going to keep you in for observation for the next few days, though, just to be sure you ’ re healing properly. I ’ ll send a nurse in to adjust your pain meds. ” 
 
 The wizard doctor went to leave the room as my mom thanked him for his help. When he left, I heard him call out to a rather sturdy-looking nurse in the hallway, “ Lisa, I need you to adjust the meds in room 33.''
