[ PI ] There are many types of Mages in the world . Fire , Ice , Wind , Water , Death , Darkness , to name a few . But in this world , every type of mage is treated as equal . Everyone can be a good guy , no matter how dark your power . And anyone could be a bad guy , no matter how beautiful their ability ...

That was a beautiful read, thank you so much for finding the confidence to post it! 
 
 You managed to put me on an emotional rollercoaster; I was intrigued in the beginning and laughing at the banter, then I felt the building tension, and finally I was gutted and close to tears at the end. I think you really excelled with the pacing and creating an atmosphere, and driving home the full effects of the emotions. 
 
 Your grammar and syntax are quality, but there are a few sentences that are long/unruly and a little hard to understand. Mostly only in the beginning, though. 
 
 > I had built it with my own hands with the practiced patience of someone who knew there was no where else to go and the thoroughness of someone sure they ’ d be in the same spot for a long while. 
 
 I had a bit of trouble with this sentence at first, but that might just be me. 
 
 > A bakery that had traditionally belonged to a family for generations a different family, the shopfront facade brand new and freshly painted. 
 
 I think there's a word missing in here 
 
 Other than that, this piece has a good flow. I look forward to your future works!
