[ WP ] On Judgement Day , every single person is left behind and you 're the only one who is saved , because you believed something no one else did .

*Hey, welcome to Heaven. I ’ m God. I was just about to watch a movie. * 
 
 “ I ’ m dead? How did I die? ” 
 
 *Rapture. It ’ s a good way to go, all things considered. Means you were worthy. Very pain-free too. * 
 
 “ But, where is everyone else? ” 
 
 *Just you and me, amigo. You are the only one who got raptured. * 
 
 “ I ’ m the ONLY worthy person? ” 
 
 *Yeah, like the whole Thor and his hammer business. * 
 
 “ But…other characters got to use it. ” 
 
 *Yeah, that ’ s just a movie. * 
 
 “ Wait, is Thor real? ” 
 
 *It ’ s complicated. Just come sit. The unskippable intros are almost over. * 
 
 “ But, you ’ re God. You ’ re omnipotent. ” 
 
 *Tell that to the MPAA. Pirating would be easier, but that whole ‘ thou shalt not ’ list applies to me too. * 
 
 “ Is this Transformers? Are you watching Transformers? ” 
 
 *Good movie, right? * 
 
 “ Oh, yeah. Just no one else believed me. ” 
 
 *That ’ s why you ’ re here and they ’ re not. * 
 
 “ Where ’ s Michael Bay or Shia LeBouf? ” 
 
 *Couldn ’ t make it. Didn ’ t enjoy the film. * 
 
 “ Alright, scoot over. Is there any popcorn? ” 
 
 *All the popcorn in the world, but if you ever tell God to scoot over again…* 
 
 “ Oh no, I am so sorry. ” 
 
 *Laugh* 
 
 “ Did you just say ‘ laugh ’? ” 
 
 *Sit your ass down. You ’ re going to miss the show. * 
 
 

