[ WP ] An actually competent henchman manages to kill the superhero .

The great ballroom went silent as the groom rose from his gilded chair, champagne glass in hand, and addressed the crowd. “ I would like to begin by thanking everyone in this room for coming today for our wedding! ” he thundered. Applause ensued. “ Everyone here knows how long I ’ ve been waiting for this day! ” 
 
 “ Since 1985! ” a drunken voice shouted, to laughter. 
 
 “ That ’ s right! ” the groom replied. His bride gamely nodded, although she looked unusually pale. “ And I would like to thank everyone in this room for showing up to help us celebrate our special day! ” More applause. 
 
 “ I would like to thank my son for bringing me endless happiness, and for always being there for me! ” A visage of disgust flashed over the bride ’ s face at the mention of the bastard child, who was grinning like a loon a few seats away. The groom didn ’ t notice- or just didn ’ t care. 
 
 “ But more than anyone else, there ’ s one special person in this room, one special woman, to whom I owe this special day. I thank her for everything she ’ s done for me, and everything she will continue to do. I appreciate her deeply, and I will be indebted to her for rest of my life. ” The bride allowed a hint of a smile to play out across her pink lips. “ And that lucky lady is… 
 
 “ JANICE!!!! ” The crowd leapt to their feet and roared as a short, squat little lady sitting near the back of the room stood and basked in the glory of recognition- the glory which she had been craving for so long. The bride rolled her eyes as the smile vanished, replaced with the look of disgust she had worn throughout the evening. “ I would like to give a toast to her, for without her none of this would be possible. To Janice! ” 
 
 “ To Janice! ” the crowd repeated, as everyone took a swig of champagne- except the bride. Scattered shouts of “ Speech, speech, speech! ” echoed around the room. Janice was all too happy to oblige. 
 
 “ Oh, if you insist honeys, ” she sighed, beaming. “ I ’ ll tell y ’ all all about the day I did it- the day I killed the most wanted man in town! ” The crowd roared, and the groom couldn ’ t help but let out his signature hearty laugh- “ BWAHAHAHAH!! ” 
 
 “ So I was on security duty, patrolling my boss ’ s castle, when he just waltzed in, and- oh dear- he just started killing my coworkers! He was KILLING them! He would just crush them under his filthy little boots, and then- the greedy scumbag- he would take their money and run! ” 
 
 Boos reverberated throughout the room. “ Hush hush now, I ’ m getting to the good part! Anyways, as he was approaching me, sweet nibblets I was terrified! I thought that moment was the end of Janice! But nope- he couldn ’ t get past me! ” 
 
 Another rapturous round of applause. “ I distracted that slimy cheeseball with my good looks, and he lost his footing and ran straight into me like a lovestruck puppy! And once he touched me, once that sucker got a load of Janice, the poor little man was so lovestruck that he died on the spot! ” 
 
 The crowd leapt to their feet, roaring, as the groom cackled with delight, digging into his slice of wedding cake. Over the roar, a lone, mournful voice was heard from the front of the room, wistfully crying out the name of the man who had protected her from this dastardly marriage- until now. “ MARIOOOO!! ”
