[ WP ] You discover the message meant to be given to `` The Chosen One '' was wrongfully given to you .

Stan checks his watch, the little clock in the bottom-right hand corner of his computer, the clock shaped like a cat across the hall which Suzie brought in to help `` break up the monotony'' of the office, which only really served to make the place more office-like. It's five o'clock, still half an hour until he was allowed to go home. In one window on his computer was the actual work that he was supposed to be doing, and in the one that was actually visible was Solitaire. His eyelids started to drift, open, closing, closing, closing, then snap back open again before he could fall asleep at his desk and get another lecture from Charlie about how the whole office needs to have `` synergy'' and that he simply was n't `` a team-star''. Charlie was the kind of guy who unironically had motivational posters in his office, the kind with a black border, a picture of an iceberg that has three quarters of it's mass submerged, and the word `` Potential'' written in Times New Roman with a dot between each letter. Stan was about to take a sip of decaf from his Disneyland mug, when an angel exploded through the ceiling. The seraph, wings made of golden sun, eyes burning with the fire of God, pointed his sword that must have weighed as much as Charlie's Prius at Stan. 
 
 `` Yea, so it has been prophecized that one such as you would bring forth all of his strength to help bring balance to this corrupt world, nay, the entirety of the universe! Doth thou accept this most noble quest? Or be thou a coward of the most wretched kind? Speak, o wielder of the destruction-globe!'' 
 
 Stan started to shake uncontrollably, his Disneyland mug exploded with the ecstasy of the holy word coming from the hallowed lips of one of God's chosen. His clothes flew off his body and disintegrated, replaced with shining golden armour. He started to float above his office, Terry from accounting finally had the heart attack that everyone in the office knew was coming. Stan started laughing with joy, his life finally having meaning. Yes! All these years of monotony were all just a lead up to his ultimate destiny of being the one who will redeem mankind! Charlie came storming out of his office, moustache fluttering with anger. 
 
 `` Goddamnit, why is there a hole in our roof and a giant winged man right under the hole? Stan! Why are you floating? I do n't think you can reach your keyboard from all the way up there, Stan! And another thing, it is n't casual Friday, you ca n't wear golden plate armour to work! It's just not professional. You get down right now or-'' 
 
 The angel pointed a single elegant finger at Charlie, and his body splattered all over the walls around him, some hitting the new espresso machine that everybody was excited about. 
 
 `` Now that thine oppressor has been sent to the deepest reaches of Hell, where he shall be eaten by wolves every day for eternity, thou art free to follow thine most worthy goal. Dost thou accept?'' 
 
 `` Fuck yeah I do! Yeah! Let's go stab some God damn demons or something, I'm fucking ready! Woo! God *damn! *'' 
 
 The angel's head cocked to the right. 
 
 `` Didst thou just take the Lord's name in vain?'' 
 
 `` Well, yeah, those demons are, by definition,'God damned' so I figured, hey, we're all on the same team, we can get pumped up a little bit!'' 
 
 He scratched his head and made a magnificent scroll appear in his hands. He rolled it out, shook his head, and chuckled to himself. 
 
 `` Oh, um, quite sorry. You're not John Krieger, professional demon hunter, are you?'' 
 
 There was a long silence, the only thing heard was the ambient holy choir that emanated from the angel. 
 
 `` Umm, yes?'' 
 
 `` Shit.'' The angel collapsed on himself into a beam of light, and ascended through the hole in the ceiling. The armour disappeared off of Stan, and he crashed through his desk, stark naked. He brushed himself off, covered his shame with his keyboard, and went to cry in the bathroom for a while.
