[ WP ] Your grandparents always playfully bickered in their native language . To surprised them , you took lessons , but now you understand what they 're really saying ...

I rang my grandparent's doorbell. I visited them often, in their little ranch-style house. Someone had to. They were my dad's parents but he did n't visit them much. He called them the most vindictive, bitter people he had the displeasure of knowing. And my mother? Deathly afraid of them. But they had always been nice to me, their only grandchild. Alway's remembering to bring me presents on my birthday, much to my parent's dismay. They had been a part of my life and so, a couple Sundays a month, I would come over and cook for them. I had recently graduated from culinary school, an endeavor which they had partially financed and had gained employment at a popular steakhouse not to far down the road. 
 
 Today was different though and I waited in anticipation. Over the last few months, I had begun to learn their native tongue, French at the community college and was eager to show them what I had learned. It had been difficult, my professor was coarse and decided that the best way to engage the class was to teach us the varied obscenities of the French language. But somehow I was able to scratch a meager understanding of the language. I could understand it well but speaking it was a different story. 
 
 It took me a few more tries before my grandfather answered the door with a smile and embrace. `` Ah, Amanda! It's good to see you. How long has it been?'' I smiled, 
 
 `` I know papap. I've been so busy at work. It's good to see you. Oh! I have something very exciting to tell you and mamam at dinner.'' 
 
 He took ahold of my shoulders, looked me in the eyes and smiling slyly said `` Is it a boy? Huh? A handsome prince come to take my granddaughter away?'' I grinned sheepishly and looked down. 
 
 `` *No* papap, not yet. And anyway, I said I'll tell you at dinner. It would n't be fair to tell you before mamam.'' He chuckled and responded 
 
 `` True true. Come in! Come in!'' He patted my back and I was a little girl once again, joking with my papap and talking to my mamam as she cooked. We made are way into the living room where mamam was sitting on the couch. She looked up and smiled at me. 
 
 `` Amanda! You're here! I was not sure you would make it.'' Like papap, she spoke with a recognizable accent. She had been a short woman and had seem to have shrunk with age. She wore a faded floral print dress. My papap was clothed in traditonal grandpa garb. Kahkis pulled up to the middle of his belly with a leather belt and a striped dark black and green polo. They both wore thick rimmed glasses that made their eyes look abnormally large. 
 
 We sat and chatted for a few minutes about how work was going and what they had been up to. I then went to the kitchen to prepare dinner and they sat in the living room watching TV. I decided today's meal would be Italian with spaghetti and meatballs as the main course and caesar salad to start. As I was stirring the red sauce, I smiled, hearing them chatting in the background. They were talking in French like they often did. But then I heard `` *Tu es completement débile*'' and I stopped stirring. *Did my grandfather just call my grandmother a complete moron*? I thought. My smile dropped off my face when I heard her response. 
 
 `` *If I am a moron you are a goatfucker. *'' He laughed. 
 
 `` *If I am a goatfucker, you are a goat. *'' She chuckled as if he had said something slightly amusing about the weather. 
 
 `` *If you're will was n't to that idiot in the kitchen, I would smother you in your sleep*.'' My jaw dropped. Did I really just hear that? Was I having a stroke? I stood there listening to them go on and on calling each other the nastiest things, all the while keeping a calm demeanor. As I listened it became very apparent to me that the only reason they tolerated my `` unbearable'' presence was because I was the inheritor to both their wills and if one of them died the other would try and coax the other's inheritance out of me. 
 
 In shock and unsure what to to do, I finished making dinner. As we sat down to eat papap said `` This looks fantastic Amanda, thank you!''. Mamam not to be outdone said, 
 
 `` Indeed, you've always been my favorite chef!'' I felt myself smile and nodded, unable to form words. We sat there, eating in silence. Mamam leaned over to papap and said in French `` *Why is the idiot not eating? *'' Papap shrugged, 
 
 `` *Maybe your awful face made her lose her appetite. *'' She scoffed. 
 
 `` *Ask her something, you half-wit. *'' He looked over at me and asked, 
 
 `` What was that thing you were going to tell us? You said you had something exciting to share?'' I looked at him, then at mamam before saying in French, 
 
 `` *I wanted to tell you if either of you die, this idiot will not be giving away her inheritance. *'' They stopped eating and looked up, stunned. We sat there in total silence. They then burst into simultaneous laughter. 
 
 

