[ WP ] Write the wildest , most absurd and ridiculous story you can think of .

Cutting loose the balloon ’ s undercarriage and allowing Bobo the Giraffe, Sarah the Doll with her sewed on head, little Milly and her big brother Nicholas to float freely above the ocean and away from the embattled castle was frankly premature. No one though, had expected the big-bellied, purple-up-combed haired doll to stop the man who had single handedly destroyed the Albanian mob. Damnit! The man had a unique set of special skills. 
 
 It was sadly too late to summon the children back though. Lord Zed, the High Executioner paled as he held one pale, almost skeleton fingered hand up to the sky as if he could pluck the drifting balloon, beautifully done up in the motif of a bumble bee, from the sky. Thoughts of the eternal torment he would suffer if his Queen, the White Witch, discovered that he had lost the children ran down his spine like a destructive tapeworm. Glancing over at “ little Ziggy, ” he bit his bloodless lower lip and held up one finger. 
 
 “ The children were never here. ” Zed said in a voice with all the charm of fingernails grinding their way down a freshly cleaned chalkboard. 
 
 Little Ziggy raised one eyebrow, winked with the other eye, and said, “ No, **we** were never here. ” 
 
 A smile carved Zed ’ s mouth into an unfortunate caricature of a man trying to show joy, but only managing to frighten animals and elderly sycophants. “ Exactly! We were never here. Liam was here. We ’ ll go to Albania and we hired Liam to be the babysitter. We ’ re as shocked as anyone when we get back. ” 
 
 This hadn ’ t quite been little Ziggy ’ s plan, but ever the good little suck-up, he quickly nodded. “ I ’ ll forge some phone records, put out some milk and cookies, make it look like the children splashed bubbles and water out of the bathtub while playing, and create a horrific scene of blood spatters, bone fragments and dead Albanian mobsters everywhere. We ’ ll claim the children were taken and blame Liam. ” 
 
 Zed nodded. “ Of course, it ’ s brilliant. But we won ’ t claim anything, we ’ ll leave it for my Queen to deduce what happened. ” He paused and nodded. “ Wait, wait. I ’ ve got it. Let ’ s leave our own cloned bodies to be discovered. If we ’ re dead, she won ’ t come looking for us … at least not instantly. ” 
 
 “ On it boss, ” Ziggy said. 
 
 High above, in the sky, drifting rapidly west in the meantime, Bobo the stuffed Giraffe was pointing down to the ocean below where phosphorescent glowing waves showed. Milly leaned over the edge of the balloon carriage and gasped at the beauty. Beside her, Sarah fingered the yarn at her throat that Milly had use to sew her doll head back on and nodded with an awestruck look in her black bead eyes. 
 
 Tall and pale for a lad his age, Nicholas kept one hand on the burner and grinned at his eager crew. “ We ’ re going to have grand adventures. ” 
 
 Milly did a little mock salute and said in her lisping voice. “ Aye aye captain. ” 
 
 Bobo gave a silent look, which Nicholas quickly translated for everyone to hear. “ Bobo wants to know if there will be pirates! ” Then he grinned and snickered. “ Darn straight there ’ ll be pirates. ” 
 
 Sarah tugged at Milly ’ s hand. “ Pirates are scary. ” 
 
 Milly giggled. “ Not while we ’ ve got big-brother Nicholas at the helm. He ’ s tougher than any old pirates. ” In Milly ’ s eyes, her brother was the bravest, most capable person in the whole world. 
 
 Nicholas grinned, Bobo did a little two kneed bow, and Sarah looked relieved. Behind them, lightning flashed and salt-infused rain began to pour down on a slug-infested battlefield. Fortunately, the children were miles away now and couldn ’ t hear the sentient slug screams as they died by the thousands. 
 
 Zed and Ziggy had fled to an airfield where they commandeered a private jet that would take them to Albania. In the meantime, the White Witch was just waking up. She smiled and an endangered species winked out of existence. 
 
 
 “ So, where are the children, my husband Lord Zed, and my little brother Ziggy this morning? ” She asked in a tone so melodious that a guard standing nearby decided to die on the spot, knowing he would never hear anything so beautiful again in his life. As this was a rather common occurrence, the body was quickly hauled away and a new guard took his place. 
 
 The almost five-foot tall maid, curiously costumed to look something like a strawberry tart, told the White Witch, “ *My Queen, * I understand they ’ ve planned something rather special today, a picnic of sorts. ” 
 
 The White Witch smiled and the new guard, wearing cotton firmly planted in his ears nodded while secretly vowing to remain celibate his entire life in honor of the utter beauty of his Queen's smile. Nodding yes to the White Witch rarely got one in trouble and frankly, celibacy in this environment was n't a bad idea either. 
 
 And so, another day in the land of Wild, Wacky, and Wonderful began. 

