[ WP ] You 're allergic to stupidity . Literally . Describe a day in your life .

My first mistake was creating a Tinder. 
 
 `` Just *finish* it,'' my friend insisted. `` I know it has a bad rep, but... I've always had pretty good results, *if you know what I mean*.'' She pulled a silly face and elbowed me. I laughed nervously, not bearing to watch myself as I clicked the'Finish' button. There it is. 
 
 I was then greeted by a smorgasbord of boys, with which I could choose to like, or not to like. Swiping here and there, my friend groans about how picky I am while I plow past every assey-looking one before I get a reaction. Indirect reactions *are* a thing, you know! It was a close call when I quickly swiped left on someone with a profile photo holding a baby dolphin out of water. 
 
 In the midst of my left-fest, I hesitated on a guy with a nice suit, a ( seemingly ) genuine smile, and average groomed hair. Every dude has that'fade' thing these days, but he seemed to be keeping it old-school, always nice. I may have had my hopes up, for a second. I clicked to read his bio, my first mistake. 
 
 > Josh, 23. Go ahead and tell everybody I'm the man. No fat chicks. I'm probably better than you. 
 
 I instantly felt my skin tingle and itch, the beginning of hives. My eyes watered. I had to pop a Benadryl. That was a close one. 
 
 Slightly hindered but now more determined than ever, I swiped with all my might until I found Lucas, with a plain but ( more ) intelligent bio. 
 
 > Hey! I'm Lucas. Always looking for friends, or maybe more! Med student. Chat anytime! 
 
 I cautiously swiped right and - 
 
 `` Oh, god!'' I squealed. `` We matched, *what do I do*?'' My best friend laughed and reached over to start a chat window. `` Just be natural,'' she urged. So I did, and that went okay for awhile, no red flags. Until the subject of space came up. 
 
 > So, you like space stuff? 
 
 I asked. 
 
 > Ya, its OK. I feel like we should explore more here before exploring more out there, you know?: - ) 
 
 Not terribly satisfied with the reply, but no symptoms yet. So far, so good. 
 
 > I think it's really cool how the moon is aligning with Jupiter just when Juno reached Jupiter! And how we even got humans on the moon in the first place, too. That's crazy to me! 
 
 I guess I'm really passionate about space. 
 
 > Lol 
 
 he answers 
 
 > You know the moon landing was faked, right? Stanley Kubrick did it. I read up on it. 
 
 Just as someone with a peanut allergy chomping into a PB & J, rashes welled up on my skin and my throat began to swell up, my breath coming out in frenzied gasps. *Is this the end? *, I thought. Friend of the Year ( FOY ) snatched my phone away and ran to retrieve my Epi-Pen, clicking it into me just in time. She was even nice enough to drive me to the hospital for a follow-up. 
 
 A few days later, I gave it one last try before deleting that damn app. I matched with this cute guy, Jackson. His bio was nice ( he was a caretaker at horse stables ) and our conversations went smoothly. Was Tinder really going to be the thing that actually helps me get a partner of average to above-average intelligence? Only when I meet him face-to-face will I be able to tell. 
 
 He does motorcycle stunts for a living, so that'll be an exciting first date. 
 

