[ WP ] After getting so drunk that your forget everything , you wake up the next morning in a random women 's bed , wearing a sombrero , and hugging a living koala

`` We want to know everything. Tell us what you remember. ``, said the officer. 
 
 `` Well, the problem is that I do n't remember everything. In fact, I do n't remember anything. I've figured some stuff out, though. The first memory I have is of a clock that read 7:00 AM. I woke up in a room that I was never in by a loud, snoring sound. I assumed it was a girl that I met at one of the bars, but there was a koala in my arms! ``, I said. 
 
 `` You have no clue where it came from?'' 
 
 `` None'', I said. `` None at all. I snuck out of bed without waking the little bastard and went to the bathroom. I called all of the local zoos and sanctuaries to see if I pulled off an elaborate drunken heist, but I had no luck with any of them. It was as I hung up the final call that I heard the scream coming from the bedro-.'' 
 
 `` And that scream came from Monica?'' 
 
 `` Was that her name? Honestly, I do n't even remember. I just remember walking out to this decent-looking blonde chick fending off an angry koala. How's she doing, anyways?'' 
 
 `` We can not disclose that information at this time. ``, the officer said. 
 
 `` Right, whatever. Moving along, I run over with a broom and start swatting at the thing, until eventually I manage to get it out onto the balcony. I lock it out there and turn to..'' 
 
 `` Monica.'' 
 
 `` That's it, thanks. Anyway, I turn to Monica and ask what the hell is going on, but she fainted - probably from the shock. That's when I called the ambulance and you guys showed up.'' 
 
 `` What happened to the koala? ``, the offices said inquisitively. 
 
 `` Honestly, I have no clue. Maybe he climbed the few stories down and made it over to the forest? Or maybe he climbed up higher? Or may-'' 
 
 `` Or maybe this koala never existed? Look kid, the jig is up. We found the coke in your sombrero.'' 
 
 `` What coke? ``, I said 
 
 `` Do n't even bother to say you were at some King Pin's mansion party last night either. We get guys like you all the time. You make up some elaborate fake scenario to explain zero recollection of the night before, rough up a girl a little bit, drug her so she passes out, and hope and pray she can score some drugs at the hospital so you can sell them.'' 
 
 `` I will not answer any more questions until my lawyer is present.'' 
 

