[ WP ] A new drug let 's you live a lifetime in one dream

At work, I could n't help but glance at the clock on my screen every few seconds. 
 That agonising stretch of time just before we are allowed to leave and go home. 
 Little happened today, like yesterday. Watch the screens, flag suspicious activity. 
 I was very excited when I left the building. It was very late and there was n't anybody around, thankfully. I just about ran for the pharmaceutical kiosk. The machine was gleaming, polished steel. It looked alien, contrasting with all the grey concrete. Akin to a mirage in a'desert'. I plugged in, it scanned my details, it thanked me, told me to wait for just a moment. Then the interface lit up with beautiful warm colours, as it does. I had my preset saved for my LFC and was ready to complete the transaction. The pleasant feminine voice told me that this current machine was out and provided me with directions to the closest all night kiosk that had some in stock. It was in Zone 3, a long way away. I was angry, as this would cut 2 hours off my sleep. I got on the automated tram. On the way, the automated'friendly conversation' AI started talking to me. I always found it strange they did n't have legs or breasts. 
'How are you, tonight?' 
'Fine' 
'Where are you going?' 
'Zone 3' 
'Do you live there?' 
'No' 
'Are you going to work?' 
'No, I just finished' 
'Do you like your job?' 
'No' 
'Why not?' 
'... I do n't have an aswer for that question' 
'All right. Why are you going to Zone 3?' 
'To use the Pharmaceutical Kiosk' 
'What kind of products do you use?' 
'Just LFC, when I can afford it' 
'What kind of dreams do you explore?' 
'Nothing exciting' 
'Why do n't you want to tell me?' 
'It's my personal business' 
'Are you lonely?' 
'Yes' 
 Just then I arrived at Zone 3, happy to get out of that claustrophobic carriage. I followed the directions and found the kiosk quickly. I went through the motions once more, completed the transaction. The pill always came in a curious white egg, much too oversized for one capsule. I held it tight, smiling; I was ready. It was dark but the streets were illuminated by the huge advertisements on the sides of buildings or projected into the vast, vacant black sky. I had to get home quickly. I returned to the tram station, paid extra for a first class carriage ( as I could n't face speaking with a disembodied person again ). I finally made it to my complex. I'd lived here for years, never really got around to furnishing - it did n't seem necessary. I sat on my bed, swallowed the capsule and looked out the porthole. Morning was seeping through the ink. I would have to work soon. 
 
 **I woke up. It was another beautiful day, amber light was pouring through the windows. I held my hand up and moved it through the warm light. It felt good. Evelyn was snuggled into my side, snoring softly. Her aroma was intoxicating, faintest lilac and cinnamon. I stealthily escaped her tender grasp and made for the kitchen. I was careful to avoid the squeaky floorboards. I made some blueberry pancakes, french toast, black coffee and orange juice. I came back to the bedroom with the breakfast served beautifully on a tray. I placed the tray on the sideboard softly and drew open the curtains. Gorgeous sunlight flooded the room and with this, she woke up. First smelling the pancakes, she sat up and said: 
'Breakfast in bed?!' 
'You bet, sunshine' 
'With blueberry pancakes as well!' 
 She looked at me then, smiling. Her shoulder length black hair was messy but ( despite her protests ) I thought looked great. When she looked at me with those big blue doe eyes, I melted everytime. She had a tiny little nose she scrunched up when she was reading. Her lips were full and her teeth were a little crooked but her smile was dazzling. She had a pointed jaw that gave her a mesmerizing profile. After breakfast, we were deciding what to do today. I suggested the park, she could bring her easel and paints I suggested. We got ready and headed for the park, hand in hand, joking and laughing along the way. She stopped halfway and squeezed me tight. She said, with a hint of sorrow: 
'I love you so much' 
'I love you too' 
 She teared up a little before she said: 
'I'll miss you, I hate it when you go' 
'I'm not going any-'** 
 
 My alarm had been going for quite a while. I sat up feeling empty and confused. The light in here was clinical. Almost blinding. 6 hours just like that. The clock told me I was late. Again. The system warned me if I was late one more time this quarter, I would be dismissed. If I did n't have a job, I could n't afford LFC. I rushed to work, swept in worry, shabbily clad and unwashed. I logged in 14 minutes late. A red window appeared on screen. It read: `` Your contract has been terminated due to frequent latecomings. Your security clearance will be revoked upon leaving the building. If you have any queries regarding your dismissal, contact our systems administrator. 
 You will not be paid for your time today'' I was crushed. I was now effectively bankrupt. I left the building broken. I walked home in a daze. I was 30. No family or friends to lean on. I could n't get another job today and I could n't face the night alone. Walking home alone, I saw another person making a preset for LFC at the pharmaceutical kiosk. He had chosen his profession, his location, his era and was making his significant other. The face of the girl looked so lifeless on the small screen. Evelyn was never a template, or a complex algorithm. She was the love of my life. I got home. Looked around for a while. Looked out my window at the city. Sprawling, faceless buildings plastered in neon advertisements. The sky was white and flourescent. More ads danced on the canvas. 
 
 I started punching my porthole window. It would n't give and my hand began hurting. I took out one of the slats from my bed and used that to smash the glass. I tried to gauge if I could fit through. Even with my emaciated frame it was n't possible. So I picked up a shard to observe my reflection. It was grim. I felt introspective at that moment. I could n't live without the idyllic life and woman I saw in my dreams every night. I was incapable of love in the real world and with Lucid Fantasy Capsules, I did n't spend the evening yearning. I could n't go back to that kind of dreadful existence. A lifetime of solitude. I gripped the shard harder, disgusted at myself and my pitiful existence. The glass was dripping with my blood. It looked black. I'd never seen it before. No family. No friends. No mark left on the world. It would be like I was n't ever here. I opened my veins and waited for Evelyn. We're getting married next week. 
 

