[ WP ] You are a junkie and can no longer distinguish reality from your hallucinations and delusions .

All my life I've never slept. Slipped out of my mother silently, purplish cord wrapped around my blueish neck. Mouth agape, wailing with no volume as the nurses pinched off the umbilical and the doctor tried to saw it free of my throat. He does n't really remember any of this. I remember it. Remember. The memory swims on either side of my brain. He does n't remember. **I FUCKING REMEMBER. ** 
 
 *he does n't remember* My mother says I never cry. She said I was born in the arms of death and so I lack the anatomy for pain. But all my life I've never slept. Heroine makes me dream. He dreams a lot. It makes me feel the shallow pit of sleep enveloping me but the nods never drop. My nods never fall of the edge. never plummet down. He's fallen before. I've never hit the ground. He's fallen. **SHUT THE FUCK UP** He's lashing out at me again. He thinks he is me. 
 
 Can you hear that voice? Can you hear my voice? He keeps interrupting me. Interrupting me. Interrupting me. He does heroin to try to sleep. He thinks he's doing heroin right now. He's not. I've been clean 4 days. In the cradle of death. No pain. He's not high, his brain is flickering light a dying bulb. **IM DYING. ** he's dying of withdrawal. I'm cradled now in the warmth of sleep. 
 
 My mother's saying I wo n't feel pain.
