[ WP ] Your 11 year old nephew just ate 2 of your LSD gummy bears 45 minutes ago and you have to make sure he makes it through sane

Fuck. Shit. Those were my words as I saw the two gummy bears disappear into the gaping hole that were my nephew's mouth. Why in the hell would I leave two gummy bears, both filled with LSD, on my living room table? It did n't matter now, I promptly dropped the tray of cookies, on which I spend an embarrassingly long amount of time. I slid right in front of his little firetruck. He just stared at me as a smile formed on his lips. 
 
 `` Billy!?'' I tried to remain calm, but it did n't work. I spouted out his name while my heart was racing to see how quickly I would have a heart attack. I awaited his response for what seemed like a decade to me: 
 
 `` Uncle Grotty?'' 
 
 `` Billy!?'' 
 
 `` The room is spinning!'' He proclaimed before bursting into maniacal laughter. I could feel the sweat freeze on my skin. Was this a deadly dose? I do n't know this shit! 
 
 `` Billy, why do n't we have a little nap?'' I said with a smile, but also with a voice breaking like a World War II signal: 
 
 `` But uncle Grotty...'' 
 
 `` What!?'' 
 
 `` There's a creeper on your head!'' 
 
 Really? Out of all possible wonderful LSD combinations, he got a Minecraft trip. Just my luck: 
 
 `` Okay, let's go to the couch.'' 
 
 `` No!'' 
 
 `` Why not!?'' 
 
 `` The creeper is going to explode!'' Fucking Minecraft: 
 
 `` It's not...'' 
 
 `` Uh-uh!'' 
 
 `` … He's a friendly creeper.'' 
 
 `` There is no friendly creeper!'' 
 
 `` I, uhh… Have a mod enabled!'' 
 
 `` No you do n't!'' 
 
 `` Have you checked!? Get. On. The. Couch!'' 
 I had to drag him, but he listened. I sat by him a few minutes, watching him grasp the air around him. Fortunately for me,, it did n't last more than fifteen minutes. He just blacked out. He was breathing fine and looked perfectly fine. Even Google told me he was fine! 
 
 To cut the story short, my sister arrived an hour later, and he was still sleeping. Perfect. Got out unscratched: 
 
 `` You got him to sleep?'' She immediately asked: 
 
 `` Yup.'' I proudly replied 
 
 `` … Mom?'' He woke up: 
 
 `` Hello sweetheart, did you have fun with Uncle Grotty?'' 
 
 `` Mom, why is there a creeper on your head?'' 
 
 I got beaten by jumper cables. 

