[ WP ] You are Alois Hitler , spending your days trying to protect your son from strange future people who are after your son Adolf 's life .

The stranger comes into my home. So rude. So cocky. As if I have n't seen his kind before. 
 
 I shoot him before he speaks. 
 
 I project a thought, `` Project Alios, this is operative 904, we've got a US-dominant 2020 for cleanup.'' 
 
 `` Again?'' 
 
 `` I'll never understand why that US dominant timeline cluster thinks history would be better without Adolph. Do n't they realize what happens if the job of Das Fuhrer goes to someone with military aptitude or good head for business management?'' 
 
 `` Nobody ever knows how good they got it. Hey, I got news from down the Fuhrer Goebbels line. They may have solved the Reichstag Conundrum. We might be able to close the entire World War branch matrix once and for good.'' 
 
 `` Sounds good to me, make sure my replacement is n't late! Out!'' 
 
 Little Adolph is crying again. It's very hard to be three days old with all this ruckus. I check the programmer next to the crib. The directive list looks good: `` ( A ) Send all his most loyal science staff to the Eastern Front for trivial setbacks. ( B ) Fall for operation Overlord and not extend the Holocaust to global scope.'' Was n't there supposed to be a C? I hate working chokepoints, you ca n't even trust yourself. 
 
 I turn off the field before I check the diaper. Sigh... I pick up the kid. 
 
 `` Who's my little Fuhrer? Who's my charismatic little narcissist? Who's going to reduce the Nazi Reich's lifespan by 378 years and 22 billion lives? It's You! Little Adolph! What a treasure!'' 
 
 I get halfway through the poopy diaper change when the coms buried in my skull come back on. ``'Argentine Inheritors' incoming from Mengle Reformation 7, do n't let them alter directive D. We do n't need another Mengle-Drumph timeline cropping up.'' 
 
 Now? I look for a spot to put him down. Wait, `` Directive D?''... Damnit. Why have n't they invented wipes yet...
