[ WP ] You suddenly find your doors and windows wo n't open . You log in to Reddit and find the most upvoted thread with over a million comments and just two hours old `` Help , my door is stuck , any tips to get it open ? ''

I thought it odd enough that the most upvoted thread on redddit decribed my exact predicament, but when they took the unprecedented move to kill all other threads and make it the only thread only reddit, dedicating the community to solving this singular problem, I knew, then, that this was no hoax. I tried searching the internet for more information, but it was as if the whole of the internet was reddit. Every address, every site, all redirected to this singular source of information. And every comment, though worded differently, really only said one thing: People were worried, scared. 
 
 I'd tried everything I could think of. Smashed furniture against the doors and windows. Kicked, screamed. Beat against the windows, walls, and doors until I collapsed from exhaustion. I once even tried clawing up the floor. Nothing. Not so much as a dent, crack or scratch for my efforts. 
 Outside my window, the world was in constant twilight. I lost any sense of time. 
 How long had I been here? Days? Weeks? 
 I'd tried many times to reply to The Thread but, for some reason, none of my comments would post. 
 Then, the PMs started. 
 `` Are we getting through?'' 
 `` Are you in there, somewhere?'' 
 `` Please, let us know!'' 
 I tried replying, but it was as if my connection to the rest of the world was only one -way. 
 `` Somehow, I know you are there. I miss you. Please, give us a sign.'' 
... 
 `` It's been months. If something does n't change soon, they're going to pull the plug. If you're there, you need to let us know.'' 

