[ WP ] You just like to screw with everyone . Villains are the most amusing to mess with .

“ You ’ ve got until 6pm sharp to hand over the goods, ” cackled the Mastiff as he glared menacingly from his perch on top of the Empire State Building. “ Even a minute late, ” the Mastiff threatened as drew a line across his throat, “ and she gets it. ” 
 
 A middle aged man stood rooted before him, the muscles in his face twitching. Suddenly, he burst out in laughter. “ Pffff, Jesus that ’ s the worst line I ’ ve ever heard. ‘ She ’ s gon na get it? ’ Christ, what are you, a mobster? Didn ’ t they teach you the basics in supervillain school? You even picked such a stupid nickname. ” he chortled. 
 
 The Mastiff ’ s cheeks flushed with a crimson hue. “ He-hey, ” he stuttered, “ Tha..that ’ s a sensitive subject. ” 
 
 “ Uh huh, whatever you say, puppy dog. And 6pm? Is that New York time, London time, China time? You know the ‘ goods ’ are being shipped from overseas. Made in a Chinese factory. Globalization and what not. We literally just had this discussion yesterday. Wow, you don ’ t even listen. ” 
 
 “ Don ’ t call me puppy dog! ” The Mastiff exclaimed. He then paused for a second, seemingly in deep thought, before finally stammering out, “ Ob-obviously that ’ s New York time. I think that makes it easier for both of us, ri-right? ” 
 
 “ Don ’ t look at me. You ’ re the supervillain. ‘ Be more authoritative, have more confidence, ’ is what I ’ d tell you if I actually cared. Oh, and which ‘ girlfriend ’ are we talking about? Is it Amanda? Stacy? If it ’ s Amanda, you can keep her. She ’ s driving me nuts. Actually, on second thought, you can keep Stacy too. I mean seriously what kind of girl doesn ’ t like long walks on the beach? Tell you what, you can have both. That way we can save on shipping costs. How ’ s that sound? ” 
 
 The Mastiff gawked in disbelief. This was definitely not what he had planned. The tempo he had practiced for months, gone right down the drain just like that. He was never going to get that “ A ” now. If he couldn ’ t pass “ Kidnapping for Ransom ” with at least a B, he wouldn ’ t be able to graduate this semester. And with the way things were going, he ’ d be lucky to even get a C. His parents would definitely cut him off. His heart thumped with mounting dread and anxiety, and finally, unable to restrain himself, he exploded, “ QUIET, THIS IS NOT A NEGOTIATION. EITHER YOU HAND OVER THE GOODS, OR I KILL YOUR GIRLFRIEND. ARE WE CLEAR? ” 
 
 “ Whew, talk about anger management. You ’ ve got a lot of work ahead of you, pup- ” At that moment, their banter was interrupted by the huffing and puffing of a well-built youth as he clawed his way on top of the spire. An ornate cape was wrapped around his neck, fluttering in the wind. The Mastiff gazed perplexingly at the new arrival. “ Who are you? ” he asked. 
 
 “ I am the Defender of Justice – here to punish you for your misdeeds! ” The robust youth exclaimed in between occasional gasps for breath. 
 
 “ Wait, what? You ’ re the hero? Well, you certainly look more like a hero. Then who ’ s this guy over here? ” 
 
 Both stared at the middle aged man quizzically. “ Oops, cat ’ s out of the bag. I ’ m just a random guy, ” he innocently grinned.
