[ WP ] You 're elected president , but you do n't want to be president anymore , so you do ridiculous things to get impeached , but they all turn out to be the best decision for the country , making you more popular .

( there has been a thread on that recently, so let me re-post my submisison: ) 
 
 ( I dont know a lot about US politics, but I will try, because I love this idea ) 
 
 I never wanted to be president but ended in that role. I was vice president and liked that role without any responsibilities. Sure, there was a chance that I would get to be president but that chance was minor. President Chelsea Clinton was alive and well and as such, I could enjoy my life without any major responsibility as the minority candidate who got the place on the ticket because it was pleasing for donors. I could work on my golf handicap, and on building and consuming my wine collection. Sure, they called me a Democratic Palin, but I was okay with that. I never became vice president to make friends. 
 
 Then the president was killed by a Muslim terrorist. I knew what this meant: They would seriously want me to take over the presidential role. Urgh! I wanted to become vice president exactly because I wanted others to do the work for me. As such, I decided to get thrown out of the position in style. To get impeached. Sounds crazy, but look at presidents: they all develop grey hair over the course of being in office and I like mine short and black. 
 
 My first reaction was to address the public and not to send a message of hate and revenge but one of friendship with the Muslims and forgiveness. They killed Jesus for that, surely they would throw me out for this. They did n't, funnily enough. Sure, Fox news demanded it, but the fricking Shah came to my rescue. As a result of my `` courageous approach'', the Iran started to normalize relations with the USA. Resolving something that the media had blown out of proportion to be a horrible threat moved my approval rating. Unfortunately into the wrong direction. I would have to work harder. 
 
 So I had to actually research how to gracefully get thrown out. I thought faking mental illness must be a good idea. As such, I began to sanitize the entire Oval Office, that was when I noticed the weird plastic shapes which were hidden. I ripped them out and went on to report them to the secret service. I was assured that these were just normal, they were something housekeeping installs to keep the room easier to clean ( theyare stuffed into hard to clean places to prevent dust from accumulating there ). On the next morning, I saw them there again. Again, I cleaned and removed them. Removing perfectly acceptable and even useful objects day after day must seem crazy. Especially as I stomped onto them violently. Later that day, when they believed me out of earshot, I heard people wonder about my emotional state, which was just what I needed. But then, in the next sentence, that person mentioned that `` that idiot Siqang trampled every bug we placed in the Oval Office. If we know that he was insane, but there is no indication of him developping OCD!'' 
 
 Now, no one calls me an idiot and gets away with it. Ai n't gon na happen. I ran to that person ( an intern ) and slapped him, once, twice, three times, he tried to react and his accomplice wanted a piece of the action as well, and soon it turned into a full-on brawl. Now, I have a history of bar fights, but I am a much worse fighter when sober, still, I kept at it until people had to drag us away from each other. The next day, the attempt to become President OCD backfired and instead I became the president who beat up a two Russian spies himself with his bare hands and discovered a conspiracy up to the highest levels of the secret service. Heads literally rolled for this one as treason is one of the things there is capital punishment for on federal level. I kept the OCD habits up and dialed them up some more, but now, everyone deemed them justified and no one complained even if I repeated an action several times until it `` felt good''. 
 
 The next step towards impeachment was drug politics. It seemed to be one of the things everyone but the worst anarchists can agree one: drugs are bad, k? As such, I legalized every single drug on the list of controlled substances by an executive order. To get the hippie-types off my approval rating, I argued that God had given us every plant on earth to use and not being able to follow this law was religious discrimination which I was eager to remove. I had forgotten about the post-millenials and millenials, who pretty much logged out of politics completely and generally disapproved every government agency. The amount of disaffected young people I brought onto my side with that measure was so high, that my approval rating actually rose. 
 
 I realized that if I really wanted to be unpopular, I had to do something else. I thought of doing a Bill Clinton, but as a staunch asexual, who is quite disgusted by the act of reproduction, I just could n't get myself to. And that one time I tried to make a Dubya by intentionally confusing Slovenia and Slovakia in a speech, I later found out that my speechwriter had confused them. I even tried to intentionally offend foreign heads of state, but it turned out that Türkmenbashi understood the intended insult as a highbrow reference to turkmenistani literature. I decided to start a war. Against Mali. Not out of any particular interest in the Malinese, but because such a war would seem particularly pointless and would hopefully not cost too many American lives ( I am a slacker, not a psychopath, you know ). It worked in bringing my approval rating down and making people question my sanity. That was until proof was found that there actually had been a Malinese program to develop chemical weapons. It seemed as if that little country had an urge for the sea and very little respect for human life. People started to compare me to the founding fathers in regards to popularity. I had to do something and quickly so. 
 
 I woke up from unsteady dreams when I had the idea which would hopefully get me impeached. So far, I tried to get the people against me. Stupid me. I should have realized that in the USA, the people hold the least amount of power, the corporations and churches do. As such, the first thing I did was completely refuse to answer the question of any foreign-owned media personnel. No reporter from any of the major TV stations, radio stations or newspapers ( or whatever was left of them ) got any info from me or my staff. That must get them to hate me and make the population hate me. I thought nothing could go wrong with that. Well, I underestimated how much people were distanced from the mainstream media these days, they watched it, but did n't trust it. And so despite them making a storm about that, the population deemed me patriotic. Urgh! At least I could get big business against me. I stopped the next round of bailouts ( they come as regular as tax season these days ) via presidential veto. I called the companies relying on them needy welfare mamas and explained that if they do n't know how to run a business they should n't. The mainstream media got angry, but many people supported the decision... that was until their own jobs failed. I loved the lowering approval ratings for the next months. Until they suddenly started rising. As it turns out, the economy is more resilient than people would think. Small banks jumped into the place of tha megabanks. People lost their savings, but also their debts and as such often could start anew. Small businesses started up, of course many around drugs, but also weird hitech startups. When companies tanked, people who had been working on products and ignore some clever ideas they had, now started their own businesses. It was amazing what ideas people came up with when no people in suits stared down their necks. Which ideas people always wanted to implement. People stated not to bailout would stifle the economy for decades, they did n't realize how much these large companies had stiffled it beforehand. Within months, a precarious new econmy was rising from the ruins, and soon, the approval ratings did as well. Yikes! Did n't anyone realize that I was not willing to do this job? 
 
 A televangelist found my personal email address, not the one my secretaries look at but the one which actually belongs to me. He urged me to veto certain laws which would... well, if you cut through the yadda-yadda, it would hurt his bottom line. I thought this was at least something to make me really unpopular and really fast. So I replied: `` Why should I listen to the advice of someone who is notorious for fucking boys? Zork it!'' Turned out that the insult I just invented was the truth. Oops. He left the ministry for personal reasons and that struck enough fear into fellow televangelists, that they changed their rhethoric to the parts of the bible which talk about obeying your rulers. 
 
 I tried to tell my party that there were personal reasons that meant that I would prefer not to run for a new term. It took implying that I had cancer to get them to understand it. They found a replacement candidate who was n't some stupid slacker like me. They did the campaign song and dance. I knew that there were ballot initiatives to re-elect me, but I did n't care about them. I knew that they had no chance to win by any means. I mean, who the fuck votes for an indeppendent candidate? I spent election day sleeping, drinking wine and eating, being cheerfull that I could soon do this all the time... that was until I heard that the ballot initiatives had not only succeeded, but with overwhelming majority. Yikes! It seems that there is still more work to do. 
 
 ( BTW: [ here ] ( https: //www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/2y8p86/ip_100_approval/ ) is the thread.. )
