[ WP ] A cookbook-style recipe for disaster

Making Life 
 
 
 Ingredients 
 
 2 cups ambition 
 
 8 whole childhood dreams 
 
 4 cloves of problems 
 
 2 teaspoons worry 
 
 A dash of pain. 
 
 1 cherry ( optional ) 
 
 
 Procedure 
 
 1 ) Heat oven to 350 and set a pie tin in the refrigerator to chill. Procrastinate on the ambition, do n't worry you have time for that later. 
 
 2 ) Break the childhood dreams with your fingers into hundreds of broken fragments. Spread the crumble on the bottom of the pie tin. This will be your foundation. Then glaze lightly with a spray of `` This is how adults act.'' 
 
 3 ) In a individual bowl, saturate the worry and pain with fear. This will be your marinating sauce of anger. 
 
 4 ) Using the sharpest knife, chop your problems into more problems that you plan on solving later. Fill the pie tin with problems until it reaches its brim. ( If you are short on problems, continue chopping the larger pieces until you have more, problems are always abundant. ) 
 
 5 ) Pour in the anger solution until every problem is coated. Remember to use a sharp fork to break any existing relationships that might have not fully dissolved from the anger. 
 
 6 ) Crumble any remaining dreams on top and place in the oven for 40 years. 
 
 7 ) You forgot the ambition, did n't you? Do n't worry, you were n't going to use it anyway. 
 
 8 ) Pull it out of the oven. Your problems should now be overflowing the pan and your dreams burnt to a crisp. If any bubbles of hope seem to break the surface, your life is still under cooked and needs to heat longer. 
 
 9 ) Allow it to cool for the remaining years until the anger becomes hard bitter resentment. Your problems forever solidified. 
 
 10 ) Eat alone and weep. 
 
 11 ) garnish with a cherry. 

