[ WP ] When you die the afterlife is an arena where you face every insect and animal you killed in your life . If you win you go to heaven , lose you go to hell . Your job was an exterminator on earth .

I could hear them before I could see them -- a low, ominous buzzing that grew steadily louder until it sounded like I was in the center of a tornado of electricity. I imagined what they looked like -- swarms upon swarms of cockroaches, bedbugs, ants and mites; millions of pointed insect legs skittering over the floor, millions of pinchers vengefully extended. 
 
 I watched the pearly gates fade away as the cumulous cloud that had borne me up into limbo drifted into the dark arena. 
 
 `` So much for all that morality bullshit,'' I thought distantly, and immediately resented all those untold hours spent listening to Father Simon drone on about moral responsibility and helping old ladies across the street. 
 
 `` I might as well have been snorting cocaine and having sex with strangers. Seen what all the fuss was about, if I'm just gon na end up down there anyway.'' 
 
 The cloud landed with a soft `` pffft'' on a hard cobblestone surface, and then dissolved into the air. I kept my eyes on the stones for a few more seconds, savoring my last few moments as a free soul. 
 
 When I looked up, it was even worse than I imagined. The area looked to be about the size of a football stadium, and every wall was throbbing with glittery black bodies. The portal to hell was several feet to my left, blistering with heat and clearly broadcasting the tortured screams of the souls trapped within. At the other end of the arena, just barely visible, was the pure white pulsing of the portal to heaven. Between me and it was a solid two hundred yards of furious insect. 
 
 I closed my eyes so that I would n't have to see whatever happened next in addition to feeling it. 
 
 The buzzing grew louder, as well as the clicking of their pinchers. And then... another sound. A pure, ringing thud. It was much, much too heavy to belong to any creature I had ever exterminated. I opened my eyes. 
 
 Before me, in front of the swarm of insects, stood a horse. It was n't beautiful- no palomino of the afterlife. Just a simple gray draft horse. I stared at it a moment, perplexed. Then, the memory flooded back. 
 
 I was about 14, coming back from a long camping trip alone in the woods. I'd heard a strange sound coming from a ditch on the side of the road. Curious, and too young to think to be scared, I looked in. It was the horse, thrashing back and forth in agony. I could see from where I was standing that all four of its legs were broken, and I knew what that meant for a horse. An injury like that could n't be healed. 
 
 There had only been one humane thing to do in that moment, and I'd done it. With an old hunting rifle, I'd put the horse out of its misery and spared it any further pain. I'd killed it. And now, here it stood. 
 
 The horse watched me. It seemed expectant. I gazed at it one more moment in awe and surprise and then took a deep breath. I had maybe one chance. It was a long shot, but clearly the only option I had. I climbed on the horse. 
 
 It had been a long time since I'd moved so fast. In my last dozen years or so of life, I'd avoided driving and stuck around the house. The horse was galloping powerfully. I heard the bodies of insects crunching as she ran. Faster, faster. 
 
 Then, before I could even bring myself to truly believe it, we were through the portal to heaven. I heard music and laughing and my eyes were dazzled with light. And then, we floated upward, on to our next adventure. 

