[ WP ] The year is 2170 . The air is no longer safe to breathe , courtesy of hundreds of genetically engineered CRISPR viruses all capable of altering human DNA within seconds . A cult of clean air worshippers decides to venture out into the open and remove all their masks at once

We watched them from the porthole window as they all stood in a circle, ready to remove their gas masks at the mark of their leader. It was 5 years since the GEV factory lost control of it's pressurized containment tanks, leaking hundreds of various genetically engineering viruses into the atmosphere, effectively Cronenberging the entire west coast. Once the radio broke 3 months in, we just assumed we'd be here forever. 
 
 Once the cult leader finished his lengthy ( but ultimately inaudible, thanks to the inches of steel and insulation between us ) sermon, the time came to remove the masks. The rubber masks fell to the grass silently, one by one, and the seconds crawled thick as everybody waited breathlessly for the transformations we'd heard of over the radio. First, breathing becomes impaired. Then, heart rates double as the viruses take over the central nervous system. Autoimmune responses trigger next, and the arms and legs swell up uncontrollably... 
 
 But, nothing happened. Minutes passed. Finally, hours. Some of the cult members began to wander off and explore their surroundings, others knocked on our door and asked to be let back in, suddenly finding themselves bored and cold in the late November air. 
 
 All the while, Joseph, who'd been a biologist before the outbreak, just leaned back against the bunker wall, sipping our homebrew beer and chuckling to himself. `` I fucking told you guys.'' He downed the rest of the beer, and threw the plastic cup on the ground, as we all threw our bewildered and uncertain faces in his direction. `` But noooo, do n't listen to the fucking biologist. He's full of shit, and insane from grieving his dead mother.'' 
 
 Finally William, the original owner of the bunker, broke through his disbelief and stormed up to the biologist. `` Joseph, I demand to know what's going on here. Why have n't Andre and his cultists exploded into gore like the rest of them? Are they immune or something?'' 
 
 `` No, you asshole. If you actually paid attention what I've been saying since day one, it's that even the most resilient viruses do n't last more than a couple of weeks without a host. We've been sitting around here like a bunch of sardines in a tin can for no fucking reason, and it took until half the bunker lost their collective minds and threatened revolt before you let anyone out of this shithole.'' Joseph, clearly intoxicated beyond his limits, laughed hardily one last time, threw up all over the floor, and then proceeded to fall sleep peacefully on the linoleum floor next to what used to be the contents of his stomach.
