( WP ) You are an evil mastermind and have finally caught your super spy nemesis . Naturally , you do what all evil masterminds do and start monologuing .

He fell into one of my dastardly traps, again. It was simple, really. Large, hungry sharks swimming in a pool of water beneath him. Explosive charges set throughout the compound. He dangled for dear life by a single chain clamped down on his wrist, a chain that I could lower down at my leisure. 
 
 But even as he faced certain death, The Spy still managed to flash one of his confident smiles. I am a genius. I have an IQ that's impossible to gauge. I have thirty-seven bank accounts under twenty-three false names and shell companies, and I can recall from memory all of their account numbers. I have amassed fortunes larger than the GDPs of most first world nations, and yet only a handful of people have even heard of my name. All of this, and I still could not figure out whether The Spy was either really brave or really stupid to smile at a time like this. 
 
 He glanced down at the sharks below, not a care in the world. `` So, we meet again,'' he calmly remarked, swinging along with the breeze. 
 
 `` Yes, for the last time I'm afraid,'' I replied, and the white cat cradling in my arm purred in agreement. 
 
 He winked at me, grinning. `` Oh, I would n't count on that,'' The Spy retorted. 
 
 `` If you could actually count, you might not have fallen into your current predicament.'' 
 
 The Spy furrowed his brows, then chuckled. `` Oh, so that's why the doors were numbered.'' 
 
 `` It does not matter.'' I waved my multiple-ringed hand in the air. `` Soon, you will be dead.'' 
 
 `` Oh, will I?'' he snidely asked. 
 
 `` Yes, yes you will,'' I sharply shot back. `` And with you dead, I will be finally able to complete my master plan.'' I let out a laugh then, a well practiced, menacing cackle, and the cat hissed along with me. `` You see, my poor, trapped friend, you were the last piece of my puzzle. Without your knowledge of the inner workings of the CIA underground bunker, my plan really had no conceivable success rate. But now, thanks to the diagram you so conveniently provided to my assistant, you have just doomed the very nation you swore to protect.'' 
 
 `` In my defense, your assistant was very persuasive,'' The Spy recalled, his eyes twinkling with memory. 
 
 `` Well, I hope it was worth it. For now, now the world will finally burn to the ground before my eyes. With the nuclear EMPs at my disposable, the world leaders will have no other choice but to give into my demands.'' 
 
 And right about then, on cue, I saw a flash of bright metal from underneath the cuff of The Spy's suit. It was brief, a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment, but I am no ordinary man. However, as if I had never even noticed it, I continued. `` My demands will be relatively simple, of course. A sizable plot of land, my own personal army, and vast amounts of money. Very vast amounts. I'm sure it'll affect the world's economy, but in the end everything will bounce right back. And if it does n't, well as they say, it's not my problem.'' 
 
 There was that flash, again. Small, slender. The Spy's face was unreadable, trained always on me, never once looking up, but his charade did n't fool me. It must have been a collapsible pick hidden under his cuff button. Slowly, as I continued to talk, he was picking his own lock. 
 
 I decided to throw in a little suspense, just for old time's sake. `` Too bad you wo n't be living long enough to see my new world,'' I said, sarcastically shaking my head. `` You would have loved it... though on second thought, maybe not.'' I shrugged and pressed the button. The chain began to slowly lower The Spy closer to the shark pit. `` Tell me,'' I said, leaning in close to watch, `` is your life flashing before your eyes now? Are you seeing all the things you've done that you regret, all of the faces of those you killed in the name of good? Does your conscious bother you at all? Are you ready to face judgment?'' 
 
 And then, unexpectedly, his finger slipped, and the lock fell. And for a second, only a second, I saw something I never saw before: his perfect composure cracked. Just a little, mind you, but enough. 
 
 I felt my own heartbeat quicken, but I carried on my speech. `` It is a lonely life, the one you lived. Perhaps I am doing you a favor. Trust me, the people you work for, they would have sucked every last drop of you out, and when you're dead they will move on to the next fresh, bright-eyed recruit. It's what they do. I'm glad I left the Agency before they could get their filthy hands on me.'' 
 
 His feet was mere feet away from the surface of the water. The sharks began to swim in predatory circles. Now I was beginning to get really worried. I paced back and forth on the balcony, hiding my hands in my pockets so that he would n't see them nervously shake. `` If only you had followed my footsteps. We could have been partners, you and I. We could have been the best of friends.'' 
 
 `` I would have never been a friend of yours,'' he replied defiantly, his voice boyish but brave. 
 
 I gripped the railing tightly, my eyes fearfully watching him. Should I press the button and make it stop? Should I? `` Alas, such a waste,'' I said as flippantly as I could. He had only mere seconds. I swallowed my fear. `` Farewell.'' I held my breath. 
 
 `` Yeah, and up yours.'' And with that, as his toes touched the water, he broke his own wrist and slipped free from the chain. I let out a sigh of relief. He climbed quickly up just as a shark lunged for him, his leg barely missing the jaws. With a heroic swing he landed on the rafters opposite of me. We faced each other then, our eyes level, and for a long period of silence we share an open, honest moment together, he and I. 
 
 `` The building is rigged to blow,'' I reminded him. 
 
 `` I know. I changed the frequency of the receiver so that only I could blow it up,'' he said, holding up a radio with his good hand. `` You lose again.'' 
 
 `` Curse you,'' I replied. He flashed me one last smile, and then he jumped out the window. He'll give me fifteen seconds, top, more than enough time for me to slide down my emergency chute and escape to safety. But for just a moment, I looked out the window and watched him run away into the wilderness, beyond my gaze. `` You have n't seen the last of me!'' I yelled out after him, then quickly made my way to the chute. And as I wrapped my arms tightly around my cat and opened the hatch, I was already beginning to devise another master plan, another stage and play for us to dance on. One more sinister plot, one more devious twist, one more dangerous trap, all for The Spy. My Spy. 
 

