[ WP ] For one hour , everything you said became reality . You had no idea that hour would start during a `` Yo Mama '' duel .

`` Yo mama is so old she flunked Socrates', Plato's, and Aristotles' classes,'' the young man said with enthusiasm, bouncing up and down while doing so. 
 
 The man, of approximately the same age, opposite him stopped in his tracks. He looked at the arrogantly happy man with disgust. `` Yo, man. That's something she's not proud of. It's not her fault she failed those classes. They never paid any attention to her, man. Low blow,'' he said. He shook his head and walked out of the circle with the crowd's attention staring him down. 
 
 `` What the fuck, Kyle?!'' A friend approached the first man. `` Do n't get so personal, dog. This is supposed to be light and friendly. Play it cool.'' 
 
 Kyle was very confused. He just made that up, or so he thought. `` Sure, man. I'll take it easy on the next guy,'' he said to his friend and then he walked off. 
 
 The next contestant approached. `` Yo mama is so dumb she thought Serial was a podcast about Honey Bunches of Oats.'' The crowd made an'ooh' sound collectively. 
 
 Kyle was hardly affected and fired back, `` Yeah, well, your mom is so fat she does n't drive in a mini-van she drives in many vans.'' 
 
 The last word seemed to cue a series of concurrent horns from outside the park. The crowd turned in unison to find the source. Everyone turned, save for one individual, whose head hung in embarrassment facing the floor. 
 
 Three mini-vans parked side-by-side in the park's parking lot. They were welded together to form one giant-van, bright blue in color. A woman of cartoonish proportions stared out to the crowd honking her horn occasionally. Her voice thundered as if God himself was commanding Moses from the Heavens. `` Billy, come here at once. I need my feeding.'' 
 
 The embarrassed man kept his head hung in place and began to walk over to what had to be his mother. As he walked past Kyle he whispered, `` Screw you, homie,'' and made his way to the giant-van. He hopped on top of the vehicle as that was the only place that afforded him room. The angry woman sped away knocking over cars and picnic tables in the process. 
 
 As soon as the huge woman and her shameful son were out of sight the crowd looked back to Kyle in amazement. He held up his hands believing they contained some strange magic. His friend walked over to him again. `` Dude, what's going on?'' 
 
 `` I do n't know, Wilmer. This shit's nuts.'' 
 
 Wilmer Valderrama stared at his friend not sure what sorcery he now possessed. He guessed it was possible he got lucky with the first two guys, but there was no way he could know what a third guy's mom was like. He picked a reluctant spectator and presented him in front of Kyle. 
 
 The innocent victim before him looked scared - legs shaking, a steady stream of piss dripping from his cargo shorts onto the court below them. `` Wilmer, I'm done. Clearly I've gained a rare power only to be used for evil and that's not me. Sorry, but this is over.'' He walked over to the man, boy really, now opposite him and held him by the shoulders. `` Do n't worry. This is over now. No more Yo mama. No more jokes.,'' he told the boy. 
 
 The boy smiled, thankful for this godlike man's mercy. `` Thank you, sir. It's greatly appreciated. Thank you!'' 
 
 `` It's no problem at all,'' Kyle responded and removed his hands from the boy. The boy smiled in relief. `` Show's over everyone. Show's over. Sorry to disap --,'' he was cut off. A loud phone rang from a pocket. It was the boy's. He removed it from his front pocket and answered it. `` Hello? Yes, this is he.'' The crowd was watching him again. `` Wait, wait, wait. What, now? That ca n't be right,'' His voice shaking now. 
 
 The voice on the other end was just inaudible enough to make out what was said. The boy now had tears streaming down his face. Whatever was being said was n't good. 
 
 `` Ok, yes, I understand. Thank you,'' he hung up the phone and returned it to his pocket. He looked up at Kyle with utter anger in his eyes, water still weld up in them. `` It was you that did this.'' 
 
 Kyle was confused. `` Did what?'' 
 
 `` I just got a call from my family doctor. My mother has just been in a fatal bear maul. He tried to save her, but the bear tore her to shreds. Literally shreds.'' He moved slowly towards Kyle who stood there defenseless. `` I'm going to avenge my mother by making sure you ca n't do this to anybody else's mother ever again.'' 
 
 Kyle closed his eyes accepting his fate. The boy reeled back his hand and made it into a fist ready to punch. The crowd stood by and watched as this was by far the greatest and worst show any of them had ever seen. 
 
 Kyle knew the punch and pain was imminent. He squeezed his eyes in anticipation. Before the punch came, though, a thought appeared flashing to him. He did n't know why he did n't think of it before, but that did n't matter now. `` Wait, wait,'' he pleaded to the boy. `` Give me a second.'' 
 
 The boy eyed him, not trusting by any means, but agreed. `` You have a second,'' his fist still cocked ready for release at a moment's notice. 
 
 `` Okay. Thanks. Yo Mama is so resurrected she makes Jesus' comeback look worse than Britney Spears'.'' 
 
 Silence. The boy continued his angry stare at Kyle. Moments went by with everyone in the park waiting for something to happen. Kyle's fingers were crossed the whole time. 
 
 The phone rang. The boy dropped his fist and picked up the phone. `` Yes?'' The mysterious voice on the other ended spoke for several minutes until the boy thanked him and hung up the phone. He placed the phone in his pocket and walked over to Kyle. The crowd holding their collective breath. 
 
 The boy looked up at Kyle, who stood there expressionless, and hugged him. `` She's okay. Thank you, sir. I knew you could do it.'' 
 
 Kyle patted the boy on the back. `` Jokes do n't have to be mean. Sometimes they are able to save lives.'' 
 
 `` Aaaannd cut!'' The director made his way from behind the cameras over to the group. `` That wraps up our Halloween episode. Great work, everybody.'' 
 
 `` Especially you,'' Wilmer said as he appeared from behind him. Kyle began to blush. `` Thanks. Excited to just be part of the show. It's not everyday you get to be on Yo Momma.'' 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

