( CW ) Your autobiography is feeling a little thin . Tell me one truth and one lie about yourself , but do so in a single continuous story . Do n't tell me which is which .

They were always dropping me into different countries. Turns out when you declare yourself as `` mobile'', they take it to extremes. Now, where was I? Oh, yeah, Iraq. Sure, they told me it was a green zone where I was going, but when you get sent out to a job with a flak jacket waiting for you in the backseat, you completely re-think the briefing and whether it was worth the trouble. 
 2 hours out, 5km from the disputed border, a single wellsite that needs my expertise. A few hours work, in and out, boom boom boom, super simple. You know the drill, your crew knows how to work with you, easy as, right? Nope. 
 Thoughts that never go through your head: why is there a Romanian rig crew in the middle of Iraq? Why does the client not know simple details about their own well? Why did we not filter the diesel in the truck for sand? Why did we think 5km was far enough away to not be fired upon? How can I use the truck as a shield for shrapnel? Where do you sleep when you're miles out from any form of civilization? 
 I'm not cynical, I'm not jaded, but I'm never going back there. God help those that do, and God help those still there.
