[ WP ] You are a lawyer in God 's Court who and you must a find a way to get your newest client , Adolf Hitler , into Heaven via a loophole in the Lord 's legal system

`` My client pleads solipsism'', I said to the jury ( whom I had bribed liberally with baby-souls before the trial ). 
 
 `` Adolf Hitler was just another idiot who thought reality was just a dream and that killing millions of people in a dream would n't matter.'' I wiped my forehead with my kitten skin handkerchief - the air-conditioning in the purgatory courtrooms never seems to work. 
 
 I turned to the judge defensive and dramatically shouted `` And you, God, of all people try to accuse this poor man, my sweet innocent client of genocide - well *you* better send *yourself* to Hell then, because *you* created this motherfucker. Omnipotent? Omnipotent my ass!!! Rather impotent!!! God, if you are omnipotent you should have known that creating a fucked up motherfucker like Hitler would fuck shit up for human kind - but nooooo - you had to go play with your organic chemistry set again and produce this monster, I mean, the... sweet... innocent monster that is my momma's boy of a client.'' I spit on the courtroom floor so that I can look badass but immediately regret it when I see my own spit and feel disgusted. I take a seat and have a little silent giggle because I've never quite gotten over the hilarity of talking to a burning bush with one of those weird white judges' wigs on top of it. 
 
 About six hours of playing cellphone games under the table later I am called to make my closing statement. 
 
 I get up and start puffing myself up like a prize-chicken so I can deliver my speech ``....and that is why, God, you should put your head through that stupid loophole in your system and hang yourself by it! ( and of course send Hitler to an internal place of happiness that is less boring than heaven, where you do n't have to hang out with all those irritating Christians all day long.''
