[ WP ] Describe a day in the life of a snail farmer .

`` So what's it like being a snail farmer?!'' The question blurted out by a blonde haired boy with a heavy lisp. The VR resolution flickering a bit as the boy's classroom pixelated in front of Jo'El. 
 
 Appearing as floating text in Jo'El's left eye came a response that had been constructed, focused grouped, and poll tested with earth and Martian consumers. Then re-worked by a regiment of PR flacks, lawyers, and psycho-linguists all with a seemingly simple - yet culturally complex goal of convincing humans on multiple planets that snails were a, `` Yummy Yum-Yum!'' protein source. 
 
 `` Ranchin' snail is hard but honest work,'' said Jo'El following the in-eye text script. 
 
 In an attempt to be helpful the text included the parenthetical instruction of ( be folksy! ) with the less helpful footnote by the PR committee indicating that being'overly folksy' was a turn-off to women in the upper mid-west with advanced engineering and bio-science degrees. 
 
 Jo'El continued to answer questions selectively including the prompts from the eye-text `` I wake up every morning to ensure thousands of martians and colonist,'' 
 
 ( Hard emphasis on `` AND'' emphasize connection - PR Committee ) 
 
 ``... ships have much needed healthful protein,'' 
 
 ( Legal Note:'Healthful' not'Healthy' -'healthy' is a specific term promising benefits to stamina, quality of life, and life extension.'Healthful' has no specific legal definition and therefore prevents exposing Martian Yumtien and all its subsidiaries, real or imagined, to any past or future litigation ) 
 
 `` So every family regardless of income can be happy and healthy as we reach for the stars.'' Channeling his best Patrick Stewart, Jo'El always put an extra flourish on the last line. 
 
 The question and answer session played out the same as hundreds before with kids shouting random questions, 
 
 `` Why do snails get bigger on mars?'' 
 `` Lower gravity'' 
 
 `` How many snails do Martians eat every year?'' 
 `` Over 100 kilos.'' 
 
 `` Is red your favorite color?'' 
 `` Green'' 
 
 `` Do you have your own rocket?'' 
 `` Not every Martian has her own rocket.'' 
 
 And on it went for the next 30 minutes while an overwhelmed teacher looked on glad for the distraction of a real live Martian for the students to talk to. 
 
 Jo'El terminated the transmission as a disjointed chorus of high-pitched thank you's came through the feed's audio channel. 
 
 With the transmission ended a new message scrolled across the vision of Jo'El's left-eye, `` 87 % compliance with approved script, at Martian YumTien we strive to exceed expectations. Please review guidelines for youth presentations. A copy of'Keeping it Real with Kids' and'Snails, Shells, and Spaceships' has been sent to your inbox. Please review carefully before your next scheduled presentation. 
 
 `` Fat chance,'' Jo'El said to an empty office as he switched off his VR implants. His eyes began adjusting to the dim red light pouring through the windows of his office. The reddish green caps of the Martian mountains slowly coming into focus. 
 
 Peeling off the LITE-Vac suit specifically designed to hint at farmers overalls Jo'El used for these presentations he reached for his tailored black and silver tunic, pulling the form fitting garment on and smoothing its wrinkles. 
 
 `` What's it like to be a snail farmer?'' Jo'El said to the empty office as he shifted to the same folksy ( but not too folksy ) accent from earlier. 
 
 `` Kid it's goddamn brutal.'' 
 
 Jo'El turned and walked out of his office making sure to grab his holstered needle gun. 
 

