[ CW ] Show a character suffering from a mental disorder without naming it .

`` So did you ever, you know, kill anyone?'' A blond girl asks me curiosity resonating from her. I can tell the life of the party died slightly as people try to mind their own business but listening intently on the conversation we're having. `` Well I, um...'' I stuttered and quickly looked for a way out. `` YO! I'm finally here let's take that shot together man, welcome home!'' My best friend Samuel here to save the day. `` I see you're getting all the ladies here man!'' He turns to the girl and winks a little and she plays with her hair. I get my glass ready and he pours him and I a shot. The question still lingering in my head and wondering if she's expecting an answer. `` Cheers bro!'' Clinking glasses with me for shooting it back. I take mine too, trying to repress the memories. 
 
 `` Yeah man cheers and thanks.'' I said glancing over at the blond girl still looking curious and riddled with questions. `` You down for some pool? I probably still kick your ass.'' Looking away from her to dodge the barrage of questions coming at me, he flinches a little and puts on his game face, `` Let's do it, you rack.'' 
 
 Walking over to the pool table he tells me, `` Man everyone here wants to talk to you. Ask you questions and everything, they want stories, they want to know what it's like to be in the military. Most of our friends here hardly know you anymore since you left, like you're a brand new person. Maybe you could try and appease their hunger or something. I do n't know tell them a story about the war or something.'' 
 
 `` I do n't think that's a good idea man, I do n't really like talking about it. It's not what you think.'' I said looking up at him as I take the triangle away from the balls. `` The shit gets to you man, you do n't know what kind of shit I went through. It's not something I'm proud of and I'd rather I not think about it. I just want to party and get this over with so I can try and move on.'' He strikes the cue ball and it smacks with a loud crack, making me flinch slightly. `` Woah man take it easy, I get it. But talk about some funny story about getting yelled at or something, does n't necessarily need to be about the war. We just have n't seen you in a while that's all.'' None of the balls pocketing, I can hear people coming down the hallway to the room to watch the pool game going on but it's almost like I can feel the curiosity following them. 
 
 `` Open table.'' I say as I lean down and position myself taking aim at the cue ball. My breathing slows and I fine tune the shot images flash in my head I can see the sights of my weapon aimed at the back of a head I hear loud popping from guns going off, my ears ringing from the loud echoing of yelling and screams of pain around me. My heart is about to explode and my hands tremble with the pool cue, I vividly see the flash of a muzzle go off and I take the shot missing the cue ball completely. `` Woah man, you like never miss.'' 
 
 `` I just need to chalk the stick man it was a miscue. Strike one.'' I laugh awkwardly as my friends whisper to each other. 
 
 I watch the 8-ball skitter across the table before coming to a full roll for the corner pocket and sink. I stick my hand up and say `` Good game.'' Samuel shakes my hand and says, `` another shot?'' I reply with `` Sure.'' And wipe my forehead of sweat. 
 
 Another friend pushes a glass into my hand with everyone around us. I kind of just want to go home and watch T.V. or go to sleep or something. `` Wait let's all take a shot.'' Said the blond girl who asked me the question earlier, `` for a welcome home to the hero.'' 
 
 `` I'm not a hero, I just did my job.'' I say under my breath and turning away looking for my best friend who is not in sight. A loud bang comes from the living room which sends me shivers up from my feet, send the crowd over me into a commotion, followed by `` What the fuck man, this is my parents house you ca n't punch holes into the walls.'' `` Bro, calm down it's easy to repair.'' I move through the crowd and see Jay looking through a hole in the wall. `` Then you fix it,'' he says, to which the drunkard replies with, `` It's not my house, not my problem.'' 
 
 Everyone watches in disbelief as this dirt bag sits down on the couch. Someone pushes me from behind to deal with it expecting and I walk over to Jay asking him if there's anything he needs. `` Oh soldier boy over here to come save the day.'' He laughs as I ignore the comment and Jay says to him, `` You should leave David'' 
 
 `` Why do n't you make me? I'm here to get down and drink you're ruining it.'' David sneers, I look around not sure what to do, looking at my friends waiting for some help, but they all stare back at me expecting me to do something. `` David, you really should leave.'' I said to him. `` What's the problem?'' He said standing up. I stand firm, at the ready. `` You're the problem and you're quickly turning into everyone's problem. You should leave so things do n't escalate any further than they already have.'' 
 
 `` Oh I'm sorry soldier boy, did you say something? Last I recall I was n't talking to you and I was talking to him, so shut your damn mouth and let Jay deal with his own problems.'' He said walking over to me and poking me in the chest. `` Please do not touch me.'' I said my heart beat beginning to rise. He looks at me and shoves a finger in my face and look around at my friends looking for an escape. He taunts towards me like he is going to hit me. I hear an `` Oh shit'' in the back round and a glass hits the tile shattering. I jump and my instincts kicked in and swung knocking David down. My mind went blank and I jumped on him continuing to hit him. Images flash in my mind slamming the butt of my rifle into an enemy's face. I started screaming while my friends pull me off, David trying to get up and scooting away from me, `` Get away from me.'' He says with tears in his eyes. I'm screaming trying to get at him pushing my friends. Samuel squatting in front of me trying to calm me down. `` Is it over? Where's Private Carter? Is he alive?'' A sudden realization spreads across everyone's faces as terror turns to pity. 
 
 I look down with shame, as tears roll down my face I accept I'm no longer strong in everyone else's eyes, but weak and wounded.
