[ WP ] You die and are greeted in the afterlife by the all knowing God ( choose one ) , ready to judge you . However , for some reason he has no recollection of you ever existing .

Sitting behind his glittering golden desk, ornate and smattered with inlaid cherubim, God wore a bespoke and immaculately tailored navy suit with silver pinstripes. He had his feet, covered by intricately cobbled brown wingtip shoes, stretched out and propped up casually and comfortably behind the desk despite resting on nothing but air. He twiddled his fingers absently, the many gold rings on his fingers clinking together quite loudly and filling the awkward silence that bathed the room. Maxwell noticed that one of the rings had a rather large face which covered three fingers on his right hand and read `` Da God''. All this seemed rather strange and made Max wonder if perhaps all his youth pastors did n't really know what they were talking about. The strangest thing of all, however, was the way that God's physical features constantly changed genders and races and ages as if his body were the shifting sands at the bottom of a river. Finally, after what seemed like and probably was an eternity, God sat upright to address Maxwell. 
 
 `` You're probably wondering why I've called you to my office,'' said the rugged man with the raspy voice, looking like an extra from Easy Rider. Max could n't take his eyes of the handful of gold teeth in God's mouth as he spoke. 
 
 `` Uh, I guess,'' said Max who secretly kicked himself for letting his first word to the lord of all creation be `` uh''. 
 
 `` Right, well. Normally I do n't bother myself with seeing to the new arrivals, or really anything for that matter, but you are... a special case.'' God was now a very matter-of-fact looking woman with curly brunette hair. 
 
 Maxwell's mind raced. *I'm special*, he thought. *I always knew that I was. * 
 
 Out loud, he said, `` Uh... okay.'' Strike two, Maxwell. Strike two. 
 
 `` How do I put this?'' said the Asian frat boy of a God who was now wearing a flat-billed hat that read `` G-O-DOUBLE D'' which materialized out of nowhere. Maxwell had n't even noticed it appear, he just blinked and there it was. 
 
 `` Let me ask you something...'' said God with trepidation, `` Have you ever gotten so high that you think you're God?'' 
 
 Maxwell just stared at him, too stunned by the question. 
 
 `` What do you think happens when God gets that high? Things get *real* weird. Like, make-a-person-appear-from-nothing-and-forget-until-they-die weird.'' 
 
 `` Uh, what?'' blurted Maxwell. Strike three, but it could be forgiven under the circumstances. 
 
 God, now 90-year-old African hermaphrodite, got up and paced the room. They seemed unable to figure out what to say next. Maxwell took the opportunity to have some burning questions answered. 
 
 `` So... God gets high?'' 
 
 God wheeled around to face Max full of incredulity and said, `` Of course I do.'' 
 
 `` But, like, why?'' 
 
 `` Why? Why?! Because it's awesome! What are you even talking about? What, you think I'm going to make a world full of stuff to mess you up and I'm not going to try it?!'' 
 
 `` Okay! Jesus Christ, I'm sorry!'' Max sputtered. 
 
 `` Do n't apologize to him! Apologize to me!'' God screamed, now a 12-year-old girl. 
 
 `` I'm sorry, God! I'm sorry!'' 
 
 God changed into that stereotypical old, white God with an old, white beard that certain sections of humanity seem so very fond of. He wiped a trickle of sweat from his brow. `` No, I'm sorry,'' he said. 
 
 `` I've just been on edge about this whole thing. I mean, you go on one little bender and make one little person, and suddenly you're looking down the barrel of the end of the universe.'' He stared at Maxwell intently, clearly trying to imply something to him. 
 
 `` Hold on. Do you mean me?'' Maxwell asked. `` Am I the person you made?'' 
 
 God nodded. 
 
 `` So, what does that mean? Why is the universe ending? Why are you telling me this?'' 
 
 `` Because you're a mistake, my man.'' 
 
 Maxwell felt his body begin to vibrate. Soon, there was a pain sharp and total that rippled through his being as he felt his atoms start to be separated from him and torn in a million different directions. With the last vestiges of sentience available to him, he heard God say one last thing. 
 
 `` God's not allowed to make mistakes.'' 
 
 And with that, Max was Max no more. 
 

