[ WP ] You are the main character of this world and you are aware of it . One day you are caught in a hostage situation during a bank robbery . You know that even doing stupid things can get you out safe , everything simply works out for you .

'I grew up, typical kid. A little nerdy, decent at sports- but nothing crazy. I was never picked last, but I was never picked first either. You know. Just your run of the mill kid. I was actually 19 when I first noticed, that maybe, maybe I was n't in fact... normal. 
 
 I was with my girlfriend, Sarah, at the time. We were coming home from watching the baseball, and we decided to walk it. On the journey, some dude jumps out of an alley on 42nd with a gun in his hand- I shit myself, well not literally, but you know what I mean. It was terrifying. Sarah was shaking on my arm, or I was shaking on hers either way, we were scared. 
 The dude is yelling at us, telling us to give him our money. I was struggling to think, and he was getting angrier. I've pulled out my wallet, and my keys were in the same pocket. Walk up to him to give it to him, and bam I trip into the dude. Next thing I know, bam my keys have jammed into this dudes throat. He's droped his gun and is just choking on his blood. MY KEYS, seriously who the fuck kills someone with keys. Me, that's who.'' 
 
 `` Is this supposed to scare me, you some super dangerous spy hero?'' 
 
 `` Let me finish my story, 
 So another time. I'm 21, this shit has been happening to me non stop now for the past 2 years. 
 I'm in my car at the lights. I can hear some sirens but not thinking too hard on it. [ Van Halens Mean street ] ( https: //www.youtube.com/watch? v=U2R2KXNQR1M ) has just come on the radio. Fucking dope.'' 
 
 `` Fuck yeah, love that song'' 
 
 `` Me too dude, me too... So I'm here doing my best David Lee Roth impression. Some dude runs at me, jumps in the car with a gun and starts yelling for me to start driving. He's taking my car, he's running from cops, he has to get away. This time not so scared.'It's a red light dude, I'm not driving', I say. He hits me- Fine, I start driving. Narrowly missing 3 cars in the intersection. I'm slamming right turns, skidding around corners, barely missing people on the left. Next second I've jumped off the road, we're 20 feet in the air, we are getting some flipping air time, the rush, my god the rush. Not sure what has gotten into me, but I'm starting to enjoy this now, all the while Eddie V is flicking off this incred guitar solo. A weird thought pops in my head. I open the door and jump out screaming,'this is home, this is mean street'. Land perfectly on my feet and the car flys straight into a building and explodes. Loll wuttt. That's right. Explodes. 
 
 `` This story is terrible.'' 
 
 `` Well the point is. I'm going to kick my shoe at that radio over there. Something baller as fuck is gon na come on. Then I'm going to recreate my favourite action movie scene.'' 
 
 `` oh, and which one is that'' 
 
 `` That one from True Lies, where Arnie tells the men how he is going to kill them.'' I then kick off my shoe `` Shablamo!'' Of course my shoe goes flying off at the perfect angle, hits the radio and as predicted, [ Rock you like a hurricane ] ( https: //www.youtube.com/watch? v=Ypq1FsSXdbE ) comes on, of course it is the exact beginning of the song. 
 
 `` Now, like that scene. I'm going to use you as a human shield, and kill that guy using the letter opener on that table right there. Then I'm going to break your neck. 
 
 `` and how do you suppose you'll manage that.'' 
 
 `` Come on bruh, do n't make repeat the entire movie word for word.'' 
 Flinging the picked handcuffs off at the guys face, I jump up. Pull him towards me as a shield. Grab then throw the letter opener at the other guy in one sweet motion, right in the eye- of course. `` Here I am!'' Quickly snap the guys neck `` rock you like a hurricane!'' 
 
 I love being me. 

