[ WP ] Congress just passed the Prohibition Act of 2016 . Coffee is now a Class 1 illegal drug .

100 % Arabica. Not my favorite, but it'll do. My supplier was in Canada, and shipped the coffee inside of beanie babies -- turns out those little guys did have value. It was n't always this hard to obtain. 
 
 I remember the rush that day -- two years ago today. The day it was illegalized, caffeine in any form would be gone the next day. Everyone rushing to every coffee shop, buying up every single bag. Even used grounds were reused untill they had less flavor than water. The next Monday, tired people around America burned down government buildings, only to discover the smell of burning coffee. 
 
 A conspiracy was brewing. 
 
 Ashes flew into the air as the post office smouldered. I watched as a rafter collapsed, sending debris flying my way. A blacked but distinguishable can of Folger's rolled towards me. I smiled. This was all the evidence I need. 
 
 In the most unexpected places, you can find help. I found my help somewhere strange, too. 
 
 Posting this image to 4chan, Anon was able to construct a theory. 
 
 > Like a car runs on gas, America's people run on coffee. Few go through the morning without it, and although it weakens us, it strengthens us. 
 
 > A strong America has time to think about everything wrong with society. Drunk people can barely thing, therefor alcohol is legal. But caffeine lets us be awake, lets us be conscious. If we can think, we are the enemy. 
 
 > Letting government workers have caffeine strengthens their workforce, and makes sure they themselves are not weakened. They let them keep it. But us? Not only does our weakness help them, it pays, too. When people are put into prisons for possession of it, they get paid. 
 
 
 
 
 

