[ WP ] You are secretly a super hero working a desk job . You are terrible at suppressing your powers in the office .

My coworkers were nearby, so I tried to keep the volume of my fart lower than usual. I think I would have done a better job if it had n't been for that military jet flying by over in Montana. It was fucking terrifying. I'm always getting terrified by noises. That's one of the things that people do n't expect from us, but you do n't just become impervious to shit like that. If you're from Chicago, does that mean you do n't feel the cold any more? No, it means you're fucking sick of the cold. Well I'm fucking sick of hearing every single sound that happens within a ridiculously wide geographical range. Anyways, the jet went by and I lost a bit of focus and I kinda farted harder than I even would have in the first place, which would be embarrassing, but not the worst situation in the world, if I did n't have astoundingly powerful... eh... gas-pumping power. As it was, I did n't only kill Karen, Steve, Marge, Greg, and Greg ( there are... were two Gregs that I worked with ) but I gave them a face full of a stench that amounted to what you'd smell if you fed a pig sewer-water for a month and collected all of what came out the other side and locked yourself in a room with it with your mouth taped over. 
 
 I was fired, even though I did n't decide to hurt them or anything. People have n't been very understanding at my last few workplaces either. This place is really beginning to bum me out.
