[ WP ] Explain someone drowning .

Just get out of bed John. Get the fuck out of bed and walk to the bathroom. Turn the knob 5/6ths of the way to hot, take a shower, shave, brush your teeth. Do n't worry about getting dressed, not yet. One small step at a time. Little victories. Just get the fuck out of bed. Be a normal person. 
 
 Fuck me, I'm not a normal person. How many words did I say at dinner last night? 50? No chance. Could n't have been more than 40. 40 words over the course of 2 hours. How fucking normal is that? Everyone else drank and laughed, cracked jokes, had fun. So easy. So fucking easy for them. 
 
 I could fucking die re-living it in my head. Trying to choose just that right moment to interject with my ridiculous story about Mitch buying his new jacket. WHO THE FUCK CARES JOHN? My collar getting hot as I realize the story has no point, everyone sitting there politely, waiting for that inevitable awkward pause when the story reaches it's cul-de-sac of an end. I could fucking die. 
 
 You're taking it too personally. No one notices, no one cares. 
 
 They notice. They care. I care. I fucking hate it. And they hate me. Or at least do n't like being with me. Why would they? 
 
 Quit it John, who gives a shit. Fuck them. 
 
 Fuck them. Fuck me. I'm sick of feeling like this. I'm sick of myself. 
 
 Does n't matter now. Now is work. Little victories, just get out of bed. 
 
 Fuck work. Fuck little victories, I ca n't. This is nice here. No one judges me here. 
 
 You ca n't live in bed John. 
 
 I know. 
 
 So get out. Get up and get out. 
 
 No. 
 
 This is n't good John. 
 
 I know. 
 
 You are drowning. 
 
 I know. 
 
 Get out of bed. 
 
 No. 

