[ WP ] An MMORPG boss is lonely after a new expansion pack is released and no one comes to fight him anymore .

Golgoth threw his sword in frustration, the mighty greatsword travelled through the air, and the magical edge glowed red. The sword flew through the door of his mighty Throne Room of The Damned, bounced loudly against the wall of the Foyer of Pain, and clanked loudly as it rolled down the Stairs of Adversity. The noise ceased to echo through the halls of the Spire of Certain Doom. 
 
 The mighty Golgoth, Destroyer of Towns slumped on the Throne of The Wretched and sighed through a set of emaciated lungs within a barrel chest of thick armor-like ribs. His black eyes moved to the floor and the chin of his flaming skull came to rest between the small spikes protruding from where his large collarbones met. The crown fashioned from the gilded bones of fallen heroes was heavy, and his increasingly frequent sighs sounded like the screams of agony of the many unwary adventurers he had slain in that very throne room. 
 
 `` What troubles you, oh killer of peasants and kings?'' Begged the small flying imp as he hovered in front of the throne made of the weapons of felled titans of the lands of Antronel. `` Why have you discarded the coveted Sword of Infinite Destruction?'' 
 
 `` NOBODY COVETS MY GREAT SWORD ANYMORE.'' Roared Golgoth sullenly. The mighty Lich was incapable of anything less than a shrill yell, even when speaking calmly. `` HEROES USED TO COME SEEKING THE MAGICAL BLADE AND GILDED CROWN OF PAINFUL REMINDERS. I'D KILL A FEW OF THEM HORRIBLY, THE REST WOULD RUN AROUND LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE SHOOTING ME WITH ARROWS AND BOLTS OF LIGHTNING. I'D KILL A FEW MORE, AND FINALLY SOME WEAK LITTLE WHITE WIZARD WOULD CAST A SPELL OF HEALING ON ME, AND I'D WAIL,'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?' AND DIE IN WHAT I'M TOLD THE MORTALS CALL,'BLISS.' IT'S THAT AWFUL FEELING YOU GET WHEN A PUPPY LICKS YOUR FACE. I HATE THAT FEELING.'' The death Lord cried a tear of fire and blood as he loudly recollected. `` ONE BAND OF BRAVE ADVENTURERS BROUGHT A DOG ONCE AND IT LICKED MY FACE. I HAD TO GO DESTROY A TOWN, AND BATHE IN THE BLOOD AND AGONY OF THE SMALLFOLK JUST TO FEEL NORMAL AGAIN. ANYWAY, I'D KILL THEM, THEY'D KILL ME, THERE WAS THAT AWFUL TIME WHEN I HAD TO REST IN PEACE WHILE THEY RUMMAGED THROUGH MY SPIRE OF CERTAIN DOOM. THEN THEY WOULD LEAVE, AND I WOULD AWAKE, FINALLY IN AGONY AGAIN, WITH MY SWORD AND CROWN RESTORED. IT REALLY WAS AN AWFUL LOT OF FUN.'' 
 
 `` I'm sure more adventurers will come to kill you soon.'' said the nameless imp cheerfully. 
 
 `` CERTAINLY NOT,'' the mad king bellowed. `` I HAVE N'T BASKED IN THE HOPELESSNESS OF A WARRIOR IN WEEKS. I REMEMBER HOW THEY'D SWING THEIR SWORDS OF FIRE OR ICE, OR LIGHTNING, I REMEMBER ONE HAD LIGHTNING ONCE. I'D SHOUT,'YOU FOOL, YOU CAN NOT KILL WHAT IS DEAD!' I DO N'T KNOW WHY I WOULD YELL THAT AT THEM, IT WAS WEIRD. IT WAS LIKE I WAS TELLING THEM HOW TO KILL ME OR SOMETHING. THE SOUND THOSE WARRIORS' SKULLS MADE WHEN I CRUSHED THEM WITH THE BOOTS OF IMMINENT CRUSHING, IT WAS WONDERFUL. NO. NO WARRIORS WILL COME FOR THE SWORD OF INFINITE DESTRUCTION. SERIOUSLY, YOU CAN BUY ONE FOR LIKE 100 GOLD NOW.'' 
 
 `` Could it be because of Tanini the Minotaur Lord?'' Asked the imp fearfully. 
 
 `` WHO?!'' The death Lord screeched angrily. 
 
 `` Tanini, my Lord. He's a minotaur that uses the Hammer of Ultimate Smashing. He lives on an island the cartographers just discovered.'' 
 
 `` A NEW ISLAND THAT THEY JUST DISCOVERED YOU SAY? `` The surprise in his voice might have been mistaken for anger or agony. 
 
 `` Yes, sire. It was just discovered a few weeks ago.'' 
 
 `` DOES THIS'TANINI,' EVEN HAVE A SPIRE?'' 
 
 `` No, my Lord, he resides in a dungeon.'' 
 
 `` A DUNGEON. HEH.'' The derisive laugh was accompanied by a burst of green and blue flame from his mouth and nostrils. `` HE DOES N'T EVEN HAVE A SPIRE. WHERE DOES HE EVEN HANG THE BODIES OF FALLEN HEROES TO DEMORALIZE HIS CHALLENGERS?'' 
 
 `` Well, he sort of smashes them into liquid, and then paints the walls to his entrance with gore. He wears their genitals as jewelry, I'm told.'' 
 
 `` UGHH!'' The death Lord shrieked with frustration as he slumped further into his throne. `` THAT'S AWFUL. I LOVE IT. WHY WERE N'T WE DOING THAT?'' 
 
 `` You told me to hang them from the balcony of restlessness, sire.'' 
 
 `` WE SHOULD START DOING THAT, YOU KNOW, WITH THE BLOOD, AND THE GENITALS... UGH.'' His sighing started to grow more desperate. `` OH, WHAT'S THE USE. NOBODY WILL BE HERE TO SEE IT ANYWAY. AND THAT WHOLE GENITALS FOR JEWELRY THING MIGHT BE OVER THE LINE, EVEN FOR ME.'' 
 
 `` Sire, I hope this is a good time to put in my two week's notice.'' 
 
 `` UGH.''
