[ WP ] English has been simplifying itself for over 10'000 years , now everyone talks in dank memes

I take a deep breath, ring in hand. I whisper to myself, `` You've only got one shot, do not miss your chance to blow, this opportunity comes once in a lifetime.'' I walk up to her and propose a date, which will hopefully lead to something... More. 
 
 `` Yo, girl,'' I say. `` I heard you like fancy places so I booked us a fancy spot at a fancy restaurant to have a fancy meal together.'' 
 
 `` K thx m8'' she replies. Later that evening, we went to the fanciest restaurant in the city: The Rarest Pepe. Our table for two is right in the middle of the dining are, lit with candles for an extra romantic aura. 
 
 As we sit down, she exclaims, `` This shit is lit, bro'', to which I reply,'' You know it.'' The waiter arrives momentarily, and asks us, `` Do you remember the specials? Pepperidge Farms remembers.'' 
 
 I say, `` I'm legally blind! ``, allowing my ( hopefully ) future bride to make the choice. 
 
 She says, `` Am I the only one who would like some lobster?'' The waiter shakes his head. `` Shame.'' He replies. 
 
 We eventually order the Rare Pepe, and the perfect time comes to pop the question. I look her in the eyes and say, `` Such good, many wow.'' She gasps: never have such complex words escaped my mouth. I go on. `` Le eyes are the sparkling with joy all day and night. Git gud you can not, for you are le perfect.'' I reach into my pocket for the ring, hold it up and ask the question: 
 
 `` If you decide to marry me on a big cellphone, is it a ringtone?'' 
 
 She snickers a bit. `` Wow, fggt, git 360 no scoped bich.'' She walks out of the restaurant, humming the trololol song, and I stand rejected. 
 
 `` When you try your best but you do n't succeed...'' 
 
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 Hey! This is, like, my second prompt on this subreddit, so sorry if it's not good. After all, I DID use a BUNCH of dank memes. 
 Hope you liked it nonetheless!
