[ WP ] You die and go to Heaven . You arrive to your new mansion and see that your roommates are Mr. Rogers , Steve Irwin and Bob Ross .

`` IRWIN!'' 
 
 I rolled my eyes. Not again. 
 
 `` I go to put on my cardigan, and what do I find? A scorpion nestling in the pocket!'' 
 
 `` But is n't she a beaut?!'' 
 
 `` Such a happy little scorpion.'' 
 
 No matter how many times I heard them, I just could not get used to the banter in this house. Did they ever shut up? 
 
 Bob poked his head into my room. `` Well good morning!'' He walked in with a broad smile. Ugh, I hope he did n't get paint everywhere like last time. 
 
 `` Morning Bob,'' I said weakly. I did n't know if I could start the morning with this cheerfulness. 
 
 `` So sorry about the noise, neighbour.'' Fred sauntered in now, too. 
 
 `` Crikey! We did n't mean to wake you, mate!'' Steve waltzed in carrying, yep, the scorpion. 
 
 `` Morning fellas.'' I tried to hide under my blankets. 
 
 `` Today's a busy day!'' Fred said, going over to my closet and starting to select my clothes. Yep, totally khakis and loafers. `` You promised me some time in the neighbourhood of make believe!'' 
 
 `` And we need to talk about sloths!'' Steve was vibrating with energy. `` My son just did this outstanding piece on Fallon, so now I have to talk about'me too!'' 
 
 I looked at Bob. `` And I promised you we could paint happy little trees,'' I said meekly. Bob smiled happily at me, nodding away. Dear lord, could I not get a day of peace? Was there ever a day Bob's hair was n't perfection? It was definitely no on both counts. I was definitely paying for all those times I'd wished my life was more like an afternoon TV special. 
 
 `` Well, come on then!'' Steve urged me. `` I have a sloth in the kitchen for you to cuddle and Freddie has a puppet set aside for you.'' 
 
 I perked up. `` Is it... is it Daniel Striped Tiger?'' 
 
 `` Absolutely,'' Fred smiled, and he shuffled out of the room, keeping his eye on the scorpion now crawling up Steve's arm. 
 
 I swung my feet out of the bed and looked at Bob. 
 
 `` Well, let's go,'' he motioned. `` Let's get a little crazy in here.'' 
 
 Ah, who was I to fight it? Now, where was my favourite cardigan...
