[ WP ] You are born without a soul . While this causes a lot of issues with your state of mind and your relationship with religion , there is one benefit in particular that makes you useful in a way .

A loud, muffled thump from upstairs shakes the building, alerting me to the arrival of my `` handler''. A quick glance at my phone determines that the hoighty-toighty prick was half an hour early. Ca n't count how many times I've told him to stick to the fucking schedule. Hell, the first time he pulled this shit I had n't even gotten home yet, he ran into my wife. And what a fun filled, enjoyable evening that was. I hand Scarlet off to her mother, who nods with an apprehensive look in her eyes as I walk upstairs to meet him. 
 
 A quick jaunt down the hall and up the stairs finds me pulling a cigarette from the pack in my shirt pocket I casually stroll out onto the rooftop where my handler, Gabriel, awaits. To get it out of the way, Gabriel is an Angel. A literal, honest to God, wings and armor and flowing golden locks fucking Angel. Consequently he stands roughly 6' 7', and ( during non-clandestine activities ) is in fact equipped with ivory wings ( that are surprisingly sturdy ), wears armor of a luminescent metal I ca n't and he wo n't identify, and is essentially my mainline to the guys upstairs. He appears to fluctuate between various shades of dark brown and olive skin tones, preferring the darker tones for our evening meetings, as now. As I approach him he looks me over with a disapproving look. 
 
 `` Arkandalus, you must know the damage you are doing to your body.'' He says in a deep velvety voice that always managed to lower my guard a little. I hated that. 
 
 `` I'd hazard a guess that you guys are doing more damage than I am, Gabriel.'' I said, pulling deeply just to emphasize my contempt. `` And I told you, it's Ark.'' 
 
 `` There is only one path to salvation Ark, you know this.'' He replied. `` On that note, He requires your aid once more.'' 
 
 `` Oh FUCK that, Gabriel! I was literally killed last time. I clawed my way out of the fucking pits, which let me tell you, was neither easy nor enjoyable, brought you what you wanted, and if I'm remembering it correctly, told you guys to fuck OFF for a while. I thought I had made the point clear.'' I said in a hoarse whisper. Ca n't yell shit like this, although yelling was considered. 
 
 `` You need us. We need you. None of us may set foot where we need you to go, and time is almost out.'' That came out pleading, almost defensive. He's worried I wo n't do it. I've *never* said no before. That would indicate that this is going to suck. 
 
 `` Y'all motherfuckers need Jesus.'' I said mockingly. Unfortunately for them, he's been out of commission for going on 1600 years. 
 
 `` Actually, yes. We do. That is why I am here.'' *Oh, fuck. * 
 
 `` No. No, no no. Matter of fact, not just no, but FUCK no! You guys lost LEGIONS, plural, going after him last time! What the FUCK makes you think I'd fare any better?!'' I already know, I'm just stalling. Euli is n't going to like this. 
 
 `` Be not truculent, Arkandalus. You know why this task falls to you.'' He said, eyes flashing. 
 
 `` It's. Ark.'' I spat, teeth gritted'' The good old'manufacturers defect'. You know, I'm beginning to think it intentional.'' I said, glaring hard. Gabriel glared right back. It's hard to intimidate an Angel. `` What's the timeline?'' 
 
 `` Insertion tonight. The Oracles say you'll complete your task in no more than 48 hours, if you complete it at all.'' Gabriel said, shifting his gaze over the city. Would n't even look me in the eye when he was asking me to kill myself. 
 
 `` If. And what do the ladies have to say about my chances?'' I asked, secretly dreading the answer. They are n't always right, but they are damn near. 
 
 `` They are not encouraged.'' he replied, still averting his eyes. 
 
 `` What's the pay?'' I asked tossing the butt of my finished cigarette off the roof. 
 
 `` Your soul.'' he said simply. I stood dumbstruck for a moment. 
 
 `` Salvation?'' *No fucking way* I thought. 
 
 `` Yes.'' 
 
 `` The brass ring? The end? Our contract terminated? Eternal bliss assured?'' I asked. 
 
 `` Yes.'' 
 
 `` Not good enough. Consider your request. I'm going to need more.'' 
 
 `` You're being offered a chance at being whole, and you're willing to throw it away for greed?'' 
 
 `` Gabriel, if I had the option of throwing this shit away I'd have done so the night we met. You said it, you need me. Frankly being lost to the winds of time is sounding better and better the more I get to know you and your crew. `` He rasied his eyebrows questioningly. *Yeah, I'd rather be forgotten than your fucking lap dog you massive talking seagull. * `` So here's the deal: if you want me to waltz into the fucking Inferno, again, and somehow sneak the greatest soul they ever snared out of there, I'm going to need gear.'' I paused to consider for a moment before continuing, `` Divine gear. Blade, board, and suit at least, although I would n't say no to one of those crazy fucking thunder bows you've got up there, cause this damascus steel and crossbow shit just does n't cut it down there. Bolts do n't fly right and even the fucking pests can shred the steel like paper. Additionally, regardless of whether or not I succeed, I'm going to want to worry about literally nothing for the rest of eternity. That means assurances that my wife and child are set on funds, health, immunity from acts of God, for all of us and our possessions. If I do n't make it they need to be taken care of. If I do make it, I need to know He's not going to drop my roof on me while I'm enjoying my freedom.'' I lit another cigarette, to add literal fuming to my figurative fuming. Seemed fitting. 
 
 `` The gear is approved already, we will stop by the Smith when we leave. Health is approved for all current and future family, although I can not stop Him from taking His frustrations out on you. You are a favored target. We can keep it to a minimum and replace what is lost, but you know how He gets. The possessions are all approved as well.'' Gabriel finally seemed to be relaxing. He knew they had me. `` And do you really think He'd ask this of you and then kill you for completing it?'' I scoffed. 
 
 `` Favorite target. Your words, not mine. He ca n't kill me while he needs me, but after, who fucking knows? I'd rather take steps. Draw up the contract, I have to go inform my wife.'' I sighed. `` This fucking soul had better be worth it.'' 
 
 [ This prompt was pretty cool. Will definitely continue it, thanks for the prompt! ] 
 
 Edit: Forgot a comma. 

