[ CW ] Cool story bro

The whole place seemed to bump and move to the beat of the music. Shit was so cash, bro. My bro was the host of this rager, and most of us came to have a good time. Brost of us. Then there was Chad, that fucking tool. He rolled up to the stand in his swanky red Pontiac and acted like he owned the place, bro. Douche-fag was just getting all up in people's grills; knockin' shit over, tryin' to get in fights, usual bullshit, bro. I fuckin' stared that bitch down as he fucked with my guy's shit. That's my guy, bro. After about and hour of Chad's bullshit, I thought `` I'm finna break this guy's nose'', bro. I strolled over to this tag, winking to the biddies as I went. The whole joint knee what was about to go down, bro. I tapped on this bro's shoulder and was all like `` Yo, bro. You're starting to puss everyone off, so either simmer or beat your feet, bro.'' He looked at me as if I had just ripped off the sticker to his most recent purchase at Lid's, bro. He was all like `` You wan na fuck, bro? Wan na fucking fight about it, bro?''. I scoped the place to see all eyes on the situatino. All them wanted me to destroy this faggot, bro. Like, holy shit. They were my bros. I could take this fucking guy and everyone would back me, I knew that. But I did n't want to fight him, bro. I wanted to fucking demolish his rep. So I said to him `` You. Me. Beerpong. Right now.'' He looked like a little bitch. `` You wan na be a pussy about it, bro?'' I said to him. `` F... Fuck yeah, bro. Let's do it.'' The small glimmer, the slight darting of his red eyes gave me the notion that he was nervous as fuck, bro. We got my friend Todd to sauce us some solo cups, as is tradition. Todd is such a bro. Love you, Todd, no homo. We set up the cups, the booze, and the ball, and fucking went ham, bro. It was fucking intense. All eyes in the party were focused on me and this mark goin' at it. I was running show at this faggot. But this bro was n't goin' down without a fight, bro. It got down to me and him with one cup each, his turn. His hand swayed, his eyes watered, this guy was fucking plastered. The joint held their breath as the ball flew threw the air at the flick of his faggy wrist. Oh nigga, it was so close. It legit bounced of the rim and I was like `` Bro''. My turn now, fag. I tilted my hat, popped my collar, and put on my shades, despite it being 1 am, like Ash Ketchum does before a battle. Pokemon was so fucking cash. I was pretty fucking pissed, too, bro. The room swayed and everyone was all like `` Bro''. I sauced the ball into the air with the grace of a Hail Mary thrown by Brady. The place watched as the ball sunk into the cup with a satisfying plop, bro. The rager cheered and shit. Everyone was all like `` You got him, bro!''. Chad flew the coop after downing his cup. Fucking bitch. I never knew what victory tasted like until that day, but now I realize it tastes like pineapple rolling papers and Keystone Light, bro.
