[ WP ] This has got to be shittiest cult in the world .

And so the man doth sayeth, `` You boys like Mexico?'' 
 
 `` And the boys did not reply in their terror.'' The crowd murmered in a unison. 
 
 John was stuck in the fourth row to the back, by the guitar section, and the man wearing a bearfucker suit. He never went to these things, but recently he had been feeling a bit down, and decided it might be good for him. 
 
 `` Oh look a bar of soap.'' The man in the front of the congregation proclaimed, flourishing his arms in an exaggerated motion. 
 
 `` HO HO HO, I got you good you fucker!'' The lead male in the choir shouted out, above the rest who quietly hummed. 
 
 That was it, he was done. 
 
 Getting up, he waded through the isle, ignoring many grunts and irritated sighs, and slipped out the back door to head to his car. He honestly could n't stand another minute in that building. 
 
 All around the lot, the cars had their traditional Ursula blowup dolls and lights rigged up, and flapping in the wind. On closer inspection, many had their ceremonial Johnny Chimpo pendants hanging from their rear-views. 
 
 As John sat down in his car and keyed the ignition, he watched silently as a man wrestled a large hog in front of the Winnebago parked across the street. 
 
 `` I fucking hate the holidays.''
