[ WP ] At age 18 everyone on earth gains the ability to morph into their spirit animal . Today is your 18th birthday and as your family watches you morph into an animal not of this earth

The discussion over dinner at the Drysdale residence was awkward if rehashed. Just fifteen hours earlier, they had watched their son emerge from his room as a giant vapour wave. 
 
 After initial shock, confusion, frantic searching through the 2001 encyclopedia Britannica CD for Windows which Tom ’ s father inexplicably kept free-balling on his cluttered desk next to a dusty family PC, and their FAILURE to find an animal which could possibly correspond to the thing Tom had become, the family had concluded that he was an extraterritorial freakazoid. Tom ’ s mother proceeded to work herself into hysterical tears, and faint several times, while other members of the family proceeded to yell about intolerance, Nazis, what the church thought about “ this sort of thing ”, and shitty planets that surely WISHED they were earth. Tom for his part mostly hovered. 
 
 Around 4:30 a.m. Tom ’ s father proceeded to kick Tom out of the house, or that is yelled at the incomprehensible space he occupied to leave, which Tom did without protest. Around 5:15, with tears rolling down his stout face, Drew Drysdale went out and called his son back in, before emotionally working himself up again, banishing the son, and going into the garage for hours. Tom ’ s older brothers and sister went out and got Tom back in the house, and Drew for his part said nothing to challenge this, but gave the appearance of having not noticed. 
 
 Arguments began to lose their hysterical character around noon that day and the family proceeded to question what could have made their son turn into “ such a fucking freak ” on his 18th birthday. Arguments were marshaled about the family ’ s allowance for gangster rap to be played at family diners, breastfeeding too long, freedom to mix with “ the wrong sorts of people ”, and other pop-sociological grenades viciously launched at other family members. 
 
 Normal children approached their 18th birthdays and transformed into eager beavers, horny rabbits and pathetically stoned orangutans. Some became ants as small as a pin point, and more than a few unhappy family had accidentally vacuumed their children up having missed them altogether. The Drysdales had read all the books about these things and knew what to expect. But a vibrating gaseous vapour expressing itself in the wave distribution pattern? That was completely unexpected, at least as far as Germaine and Drew were concerned. 
 
 Isabelle for her part marshaled herself to speeches in defense of the “ otherkin ” whose rights and dignity had been spit upon 
 
 She talked about the river of negative prejudice that flowed through the American middle class through conservative leaning talk-radio. 
 
 “ And what ’ s wrong with Rush Limbaugh anyways? ” Drew shot back. “ How ’ s he wrong? These people are just anti-earthists who hate our planet and our way of life! And no son of mine is going to be one! He ’ s just acting up anyways! ” 
 
 “ Acting up?! HE ’ S YOUR SON! ” 
 
 “ Son!? He doesn ’ t even have genitals anymore! ” 
 
 And so on. 
 
 By noon the family departed into pockets of interests to better argue amongst themselves about how stupid and intolerant the parents were or how liberal, spoiled, and permissive the children were. About how nobody had standards anymore, or else about the argument that the intergalactic entities might have a better attachment to certain solar system planets if they were afforded the same rights and earth-habiting creatures were. 
 
 Dinner began with a relatively good hearted effort to avoid ruining the veal and pavlova, Germain had laboured over that day despite her fainting spells. But twelve minutes in, the discussions resumed and accusations were thrown around again. Tim hovered at the edge of the table, having not eaten ( or rather processed ) any of his veal and creamed barley with a lemon sauce. But the room began to vibrate and blue and red outlines appeared on the edges of the tangible objects as he began to address the group. 
 
 *I ’ m sorry to have caused everyone so much pain. This is clearly unexpected, but mom, dad, this is who I am. Really, you didn ’ t do anything wrong. I am what I am. It ’ s ok. And thanks Isabelle and my two brothers. We had a lot of good times together. I ’ m happy to know that you care enough about extraterrestrial affairs enough to stand with me in combating the hate that goes around on this planet unchecked. I have my own thoughts on these things of course, but now ’ s not the time. I must go to live for a while in a place where I will be accepted for who I am. It won ’ t be perfect of course, but it will help me learn things I need to know for myself. Goodbye everyone, and I love you all. You ’ re all special to me. * 
 
 The room rumbled and the vague outline of Tom vanished from the dinning room. Everyone ’ s noodle was totally blown, and they just sat there for a while saying almost nothing. The Pavlova spoiled on the counter with it ’ s “ 18 ” shaped candle sagging into the cream. 
 
 Tom returned a year and a half later, and the Drysdales resumed their course of living together as a family. They apologized to one another for their hurtful words, but Tom chose to remain in his human form while he was in the home. It was just a bit too much for his parents to see him in his “ other ” form. That said, his father opened up from time to time saying Limbaugh wasn ’ t right about everything, except the president being Kenyan of course… Slowly the Drysdales began to soften in other ways. Tom introduced them to dubstep music and the theory of light and the red shift. Germain began to listen to skrillex at her exercise classes. She didn ’ t *approve* of all of it of course, she would always tell her workout friends, but when you forgot about the drops it was really kind of great for getting pumped up with. 
 
 One day a work colleague made comment in the men ’ s room at work about kids who “ vaped for life ”, implying a tacit chuckle at the high rates of philosophical suicide among non-earth entities. 
 
 “ I ’ ll have you know, my son is a vapourwave. ” 
 
 And Drew walked out with a smile on his face, proud of his son, and proud of being a father where it mattered.
