[ WP ] It 's becoming embarassingly apparent to everyone that you 've never actually killed a zombie before .

`` I havent seen you kill a single zomebie ever''. 
 
 `` So?'' 
 
 `` How have you gotten this far without pulling your eight by =defending yourself?'' 
 
 `` Woh, thats a bit harsh, do n't see why you need to body shame me and disparage people of obese nature''. 
 
 `` Thats absurd, and has nothing to do with what Im talking about. Have you killed any zombies?'' 
 
 `` What about hedgegrove?'' 
 
 `` What about hedgegrove?'' 
 
 `` You said you killed two zombies there, and that was last week'' 
 
 `` Yeah about that, what actually happened was that decayed support beam holding up some barrels just happened to give away as I was running past, barrels fell onto a ledge rolled over a few feet then fell into a brick wall collapsing it, there was a pitch fork that got compressed by the falling bricks and rebounded, fucken thing flew right across just as the two zombies came through the archway, nailed both in the head. Was cool as fuck. I would n't have believed it myself if I had n't tripped and fallen on my ass. I sat there for a moment. reveling that blind luck saved me from certain death and tried to kill me. I had a good laugh about that. Greg and Eva came around the corner just as i was pulling the fork from the corpses'' 
 
 `` The fork was n't out of the skulls for more than a few seconds before we were running back to the truck. They assumed i did the deed and I went along with it. They seemed pretty pumped about it and i did n't feel like bringing them down by telling them it was all by chance''. 
 
 `` Wait a minute your not morally offended by persisting a lie making you look like a resourceful murderer but chewing with my mouth open and talking with food in my mouth is disgusting to you.'' 
 
 `` Yes.'' 
 
 `` SO you have killed no zombies since Donald Trump shut down Obamacare'' 
 
 `` That is correct.'' 
 
 `` I'm actually surprised that its been this long before anyone noticed or said anything. We've been through Scranton, Sheffield, Du Bois and Fox Burg. Fox burg I thought I was done. Everyone was covered in blood but me, And nobody said anything then. So if anything you are all equally to blame as much as I am.'' 
 
 `` Lets eat him.'' 
 
 `` I got AIDS.'' 
 
 `` Okay, so your basically a half zombie, should n't make it too hard then'' 
 
 `` That does n't matter, you only get AIDS when you have fluid to fluid contact. We'll cook you first.'' 
 
 `` Fuck.''
