[ WP ] A Greek god trolls on Xbox Live .

* ( apologies in advance, some of this could be construed [ edit: by SJWs ] as hate speech. ) * 
 
 `` SUCK MY THUNDEROUS DICK, FAGGOT!'' Screamed Zeus as he 360 no-scoped some worthless mortal who had been camping for almost the entire match. 
 
 `` You're such a fucking try-hard. Do you do anything with your life?'' The mortal snapped back. 
 
 `` Well, I've banged your mom like 40 times..'' replied Zeus as he called in a napalm strike on his opponent. 
 
 `` Oh HA HA, I have n't heard that one before.'' The mortal decided to look at this troll's xbox profile. `` ZeusLightning69,'' it read. `` ZEUS? You picked a shitty name like'ZEUS?' Some old guy that nobody gives a shit about anymore?'' 
 
 `` I may be old, but I'm immortal. I'll never die. You, on the other hand, will eventually be sentenced to the underworld where my brother Hades will torment you for the rest of your pitiful existence.'' Zeus barked back. 
 
 `` Are you kidding me? You sound so gay with all your made-up fairy tales. I bet you suck cock all the time!'' Said the mortal as he sniped the god from across the map. 
 
 Trying to remain levelheaded, Zeus shouted `` at least I do n't jerk myself off to pictures on the internet.. you mortals are so pitiful with your primitive urges. I did n't become king of the world from playing with myself, I killed my father after he swallowed five of my siblings.'' 
 
 `` HA! So your dad swallowed and passed his gayness on to you!'' 
 
 `` On the contrary, I've probably fathered more people than anyone on Earth.'' Zeus looked down from Olympus to see where this kid lived. `` In fact, I'm not kidding when I say I've banged your mom. You're probably my son. And a disappointment of a son, to say the least!'' 
 
 `` Now I KNOW you're making shit up. If you were here in person, I'd make you suck my dick like the little pussy you are.'' 
 
 `` Prove it.'' Said Zeus as he appeared before the mortal in a blinding flash of lightning. 
 
 `` H-h-how did you do that?'' 
 
 `` I'm Zeus, the ruler of the world. I can do whatever the fuck I want.'' 
 
 `` WHAT ARE YOU DOING AROUND HERE AGAIN?!?'' The mortal's mother screamed as she came downstairs to see her former lover in front of her son. 
 
 `` Kaia, your little shit of a kid has n't learned to respect his elders. Did n't you even teach him anything about me or my family up on Olympus?'' 
 
 `` No, I felt it would be too much for him to know that his father married his sister and cheated on her with mortal women and men..'' 
 
 `` HA! I was right!'' Shouted the kid. `` You ARE ga-'' His sentence was cut short when Zeus smited him with a bolt of lightning. 
 
 `` ZEUS! What the fuck is wrong with you?!?'' 
 
 `` It's okay, Kaia, we can make another one...'' He said as he dropped his robe to the ground...
