[ WP ] You were born with a large birthmark in the shape of a dragon . However , this is just a coincidence ; there is absolutely nothing magical about it , and you 're getting really tired of explaining this .

Your friends had always pestered you to get an account on that godforsaken app, Tinder. You'd always declined because of that stupid fucking birthmark -- you knew how any internet date would go given the mark's shape and more importantly, location. After six months of brushing them off, the nagging loneliness building inside you coupled with the recent redoubling of their efforts ( `` What if you die alone? We just care about you!'' Thanks, Karen. ) led to your making an account. To avoid as much bullshit as possible, you attach a photo of the mark in addition to the typical barrage of selfies. Almost immediately, you get a match and agree to meet up with the boy -- partially due to you finding him attractive ( what with his long, fantastic beard and luscious man bun ), but more due to your friends finding him so attractive ( Fuck you, Karen ). 
 
 You approach the movie theatre and see him standing outside the ticket booth, tapping away at his phone. He is disappointingly bald, as well as clean-shaven, but you find yourself victimized by your fear of sunk costs, and you re-adjust the tube top you're wearing, suck in your stomach, and plod on. 
 
 `` Hey,'' you greet as enthusiastically as possible. Immediately his eyes travel down to your chest and his jaw hangs open a little bit. Just as yours is about to clench, he normalizes his disposition and greets you in return. 
 
 `` I did n't realize how long the birthmark was.. does the fact that it's coming out of your cleavage have any significance?'' You roll your eyes, but, having heard this all before ( and having given up all expectations of this date going well ), decide to have a bit of fun with this. 
 
 `` I do n't know what you're trying to ask.'' 
 
 `` Well,'' he continues, `` Do you have powers? Like.. magic boob powers?'' 
 
 That's a new one, you think sarcastically before shifting your weight and giving him a once over. 
 
 `` Well,'' you continue, mocking his tone, `` I have n't asked you about YOUR shape-shifting powers yet.'' 
 
 `` My powers?'' He echoes, confused. 
 
 `` Yeah, how else would you have gone from being a lumberjack on your Tinder profile to a lesbian in person?'' 
 ( my first try at a W/P. critiques not only welcome but preferred to praise. thanks: > )
