[ WP ] After dying , God asks you : `` So , how was heaven ? ''

Me: excuse me? 
 
 God. Heaven! Was n't it glorious! 
 
 Me: you got ta be shitting me. Oh man I knew you had a sick sense of humor but cmon. That was n't heaven, right? You're just fucking with me. 
 
 God: oh come on, did n't you have fun down there? All the sex and violence? The deception and corruption? It's like that fan fiction, game of throne. Game of thrones? I do n't know, I'm not a fan of human fantasy, but Jesus wo n't shut up about it. He is such a faggot. 
 
 Me:... You're worse than I could have imagined. 
 
 God: oh come on now do n't be a hypocrite, I know you liked game of thrones. 
 
 Me: that's a tv show you fucking asshole! 
 
 God: but the suffering that inspired it is real. Is n't it all the same? 
 
 Me: oh gee, if only someone could have done something about that... Someone all powerful... Someone with a big white beard 
 
 God: duuuude, do n't go there. I tried bro. Seriously it's harder than you think. 
 
 Me: well you created a bunch of retarded monkey children and left them to shit everywhere, sorry if I'm not feeling much empathy 
 
 God: look, I'll admit... I fucked up. I created something and sort of lost interest it... The chaos my absence causes me is really the only way I find myself able to care a anymore. I mean that and the love from all my fans... J-hen you know what I'm saying right? 
 
 ( Jimmi Hendrix appears out of nowhere and wails a short guitar riff and disappears ) 
 
 God: see? 
 
 Me: so where did he just go? What happens next? 
 
 God: well we talk for a bit and then you hang with some other souls and then... Well it's complicated but you know when you got ta clean your room as a kid, and you just throw all your toys and shit in the closet. It's like that... Except... 
 
 Me: yeah? 
 
 God: except all those toys pretty much cease to exist until I need them which is pretty much... 
 
 Me: ( knowing the answer ) pretty much...? 
 
 God: never. 
 
 ( we stare blankly at each other ) 
 
 God: soooo. We cool? 
 
 Me: you flaming herpes riddled asshole 
 
 God: oh like you got a better idea 
 
 Me: no, I have a about 50 YOU FUCKING DONKEY! 
 
 God: you know what? I'm sick of your type. It's time to call you out, you little troll. You think you got better game than the G-man? Put your money where your mouth is. You got the wheel, big mouth. 
 
 ( I take over as God ) 
 
 ( Everything is awesome ) 
 
 FIN 
 
 
 

