[ WP ] An elf , a dwarf , and a wizard are filling out the character sheets for their next game of Dayjobs and Drudgery , a role-playing game set in the world of humans .

`` Alright, so I need you to roll a d2 for reflex, Krimgarn.'' 
 
 The dwarf squinted at Lazariell who was the Office Master of today's session. 
 
 `` Ach! A d2! But tha' does n't make any sorts of sense ya bleedin', poiny-ear'd poofter!'' 
 
 `` Hey! *Language*!'' came the stern voice of Tarnack the Tri-Coloured, who was sitting across the table and reviewing the stats of his character, the buxom soccer-mom Stæcy. `` And it *does* make sense because your guy - what was it - Johnthius?'' 
 
 `` Ay! Johnthius th'Premature-Bald! Ai n't tha' an epic longshanks name, eh?'' 
 
 The elf and the wizard both groaned as the dwarf grinned triumphantly over the wit and good taste of his character's name. 
 
 `` First of all: No, that's a *lousy* mundie name and second of all in this setting they do n't add `` The Something-Something'' to their names, it's breaking the immersion here Krimgarn.'' retorted Tarnack with an exasperated sigh. 
 
 `` Th'*feck* ya accusin' me of ya prime-colour'd basterd!?'' cried Krimgarn as he went for his battle-axe. 
 
 `` Guys! *Please*! Can we just get on with the game? I have to go scout the Southern Forests in an hour and I would really like us to just get done with this part.'' Interjected the elven Office Master with a scowl. 
 
 `` Alrigh', alrigh', don' get ya elf panties in twist ov'r there...'' 
 
 `` Fine by me, Lazariell.'' scoffed the wizard. 
 
 Lazariell nodded and handed Krimgarn a d2 who took it with some reluctance. `` So you're rolling a d2 for reflex and *not* a d6 because it's seven thirty in the morning and you're exhausted after having to run to the office because you had to deal with that ticket booth at the train station which would n't accept your week pass, remember?'' 
 
 `` Oh tha' was an epic battle, tha' was. Woul've made Johnthius' ancestors proud, t'would! To think I nearly'ad to buy a new ticket!'' the dwarf nodded and grinned `` Now, now.... let's'ope luck still favours Johnthius!'ere I go...!'' 
 
 Krimgarn rolled his dice on the table, all eyes attentive at the result as it sprawled across. 
 
 It rolled a 1 
 
 `` Ah, bad luck for Johnthius. You did n't manage to move away quick enough and the coffee spilled all over your newly ironed shirt.'' 
 
 `` Ach!!'' 
 
 `` I *told* you not to carry the newspaper and coffee cup at the same time, Krimgarn.'' Berated the wizard with a trace of a smug smile on his wizardry face. 
 
 `` Shite! Shite!! Okay, okay! So Johnthius tries t'use tha' newspaper t'soak up most of th'damage!'' cried the dwarf, panic in his voice. 
 
 `` Ouch, should n't have done that. Now the paper is wet as well and half-soaked.'' 
 
 `` Gah! Even th'sport section!?'' 
 
 `` *Especially* the sport section.'' 
 
 `` This... this'ere is a catastrophe... How much coffee's left in the cup?'' 
 
 `` Spilled all of it, I'm afraid.'' 
 
 ``.. An' tha' was th'last in th'pot...'' 
 
 Krimgarn sulked, looking somewhat defeated as he realize the damage that's been done to his poor character. 
 
 `` Right!'' the Office Master looked over to the wizard who had been thus far enjoying the pain that his dwarven co-player had endured. `` Tarnack, it's your turn. You're taking little Samanthine to lacrosse practice but half-way there you find out that your husband, Johnthius, has forgotten to refuel the SUV. Roll a d12 for initiative.'' 
 
 Tarnack the Tri-Coloured did not smile anymore. 
 
 

