[ WP ] With all the souls being sold to him , Satan has decided to build his own soul banking system , and he wants to open a new branch on Earth .

`` There's just one small sticking point, Mr. Warden.'' 
 
 `` What's that?'' 
 
 The banker took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Palms returned to the desk, he stared across it. `` Collateral.'' 
 
 `` Collateral?'' 
 
 `` Well, sir, you're offering something we traditionally refer to as a'soft soul.''' 
 
 `` What does that mean?'' 
 
 `` It means very little, essentially just a promise to pay, upon death.'' 
 
 `` What's wrong with that?'' 
 
 `` Sir, you do realize that we're a branch of the largest soul-owning bank in the universe, do n't you? Unless you've got a Stalin soul haunting your attic, you ca n't offer us anything we do n't already have a million of.'' 
 
 `` So? What do you want then? My car as collateral?'' 
 
 The banker shook his head and stroked his goatee. `` Not exactly.'' 
 
 `` My house?'' 
 
 `` Getting warmer. Tell me about it.'' 
 
 `` Just a 1970s ranch with 3 bedrooms and a couple of baths.'' 
 
 `` A yard?'' 
 
 `` Yeah.'' 
 
 `` A graveyard?'' 
 
 `` No.'' 
 
 The banker frowned and scribbled a note. `` What about the roof?'' 
 
 `` It has one.'' 
 
 `` Anything on it?'' 
 
 `` Bird crap.'' 
 
 `` Anything else?'' 
 
 `` Solar panels?'' 
 
 The banker looked up. `` Soular Panels? I did n't know you guys had those down here.'' 
 
 Mr. Warden nodded. 
 
 `` You've got yourself a deal.'' 
 
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 r/GubbinalWrites 
 
 
 
 
 

