[ WP ] The personification of Death is a very discerning creature , and has n't let you die for centuries . This is your 200th meeting with Death .

The rain was flogging down again. It has been raining for the past three days, so it was n't really a surprise, but Klaus had almost hoped for today of all days to be a sunny one. It would have been refreshing to taste a piece of irony, it would have brought a slice of character to the otherwise unremarkable week. You could barely see Brandenburg gate from here, he mused, and you could not distinguish the flags, gone grey in the shadow of the rain, contorting violently in the gale. The whole place had gone downhill since the Kaiser had come to power, many years ago. It was too industrialised and formulaic, not nearly enough character. But, he conceded, the beer and food was fantastic. 
 
 Death was seated at a wireframe table, sat under a plastic covering at a tourist trap café. There were n't any tourists in the pouring rain, of course, so they were almost alone, as per usual. Death looked up from his phone when Klaus sat down, and gave him a smile. Klaus made a point of not returning it. 
 
 `` Klaus, dude, long time, no see! How've you been, man?'' Death slapped his hand on Klaus' shoulder, full of energy as usual. He pronounced his name like `` Claws'' again, and that always rubbed him the wrong way. 
 `` Terrible'' he retorted pointedly, refusing to meet his gaze. 
 
 `` Oh do n't be like that! I get to see you, what, once a year, and it's always guilt street, miseryville with you. Lighten up for once in your life!'' 
 
 Klaus ignored him, instead looking at the ridiculous getup Death was wearing today. He was sporting a pair of blue Levi's, the mind that are purposefully torn at the knees for whatever reason, like having shoddy clothes with a price tag of several hundred euros is some kind of fashion statement. He also wore one of those jerseys with ambiguous numbers on the back, trying to emulate some kind of'sports jersey' feel, but being purposefully vague so that the person wearing it did n't actually have to play a sport or care about one. To cap it off ( literally ), he wore a bright green beanie, covering up the messy blond hair he'd given himself. 
 
 Death was still talking, of course, and Klaus decided he might as well tune in again; ``... and I'm telling you, you really ought to get yourself outta this dreary city. Why do n't you come visit me in San Fran once in a while? I can organise the flights and everything, give yourself a break for once, man. We really should hang out, more.'' 
 
 `` I do n't want to hang out with you!'' Klaus snapped, looking away. 
 
 There was about a minute of silence, and Death looked hurt. 
 
 `` Come on, man, do n't be like that, today's a special day, after all! It's your bi-centenary!'' 
 
 `` My what?'' Klaus asked acidly. 
 
 `` It's your two-hundredth anniversary of immortality!'' 
 
 `` And how in god's name is that supposed to make me feel better?'' 
 
 Death looked uncomfortable; `` Well, I dunno, Dude, I thought we could celebrate, I was gon na shout you a couple brewskies'' 
 
 `` What on earth is a brewsky?'' Klaus asked incredulously. 
 
 `` Well, it's what us Americans call-'' 
 
 Klaus slammed his fist on the table, `` Actually, I do n't care. I'm sick of your fake Yankee accent and your designer jeans and your smarmy little smile. You call me every second day, and every time it's always the same pretentious garbage. You're despicable, death. You are legitimately the most unlikable individual I've ever met, and you just sit there pretending you did n't condemn me to an eternity of pain!'' 
 
 Death's mouth hung open for a second, shocked, then he frowned, clearly ticked off: `` Now you listen here you Russian-'' 
 
 `` I'm PRUSSIAN, not Russian, you ignorant git'' Klaus interrupted him. 
 
 `` Same difference, who cares?'' Death rolled his eyes, `` I did n't gift you immortality to be treated like this. You should be thanking me. If it was n't for me, you'd be dead, but instead, I freed you to do whatever you wanted, forever! We could have torn up the town together! But you just moped around and only ever let me see you annually, and whenever we do it's this same negativity, and... argh!'' Death could n't think of what to say, and instead folded his arms. 
 
 `` I was forced to watch all of my family and friends die'' Klaus deadpanned, stressing the point. 
 
 `` Yeah- you're welcome! If I had just let the French shoot you dead, you'd never have been able to see them, period! They got to die peacefully, and happy! You think they'd have been happier if you'd been snuffed out in Austerlitz?'' 
 
 Klaus did n't say anything. 
 
 `` At least you had friends and family to begin with'' Death continued, `` I've been around for thousands of years, and my job has always been going around snuffing out any stubborn souls, all of whom would kill to get what I gave you for free. The Chinese emperor, Qin Shi Huang, went insane trying to become immortal, and he put up quite the fight when I finally came for him, so be grateful for what you have!'' 
 
 They were both silent for a time, and the only sound was the deafening rain bucketing down over the cityscape. 
 
 `` Do you want to know why I helped you?'' Death asked, after a time. 
 
 `` Why?'' Klaus conceded, sighing. 
 
 `` Thousands of years of doing my job is n't fun. I was depressed, hopeless, much like you are, now, but it's not like I could kill myself. Death ca n't die, that does n't make any sense! I helped you because I wanted someone who understood the kind of life I led, a companion to make me feel happier. I wanted a friend. But you just left. And then I had to go through two centuries of torture. The 19th and 20th centuries full of horrible wars, and ever larger groups of terrified men, women and children, killed for no good reason, I had to listed to their sons, their screams and their pleading. They died for nothing, but it was my job to carry out their deaths. I'm not heartless, but it broke my heart, anyway. I needed a friend, and where were you?'' 
 
 Death rubbed his eyes, and Klaus just now realised that Death had been crying. 
 
 `` And then... It ended. People stopped killing each other, and medicine Improved, wars ended. I hardly ever have to deal people away from the mortal coil, kicking and screaming. Life is good and the future is better!'' He smiled, and Klaus could n't help but smile too. `` All I ever wanted to do was to have fun and forget all the crap that went down, but every year you ruin it for me.'' 
 
 They sat for about ten minutes more, and then the hour agreed upon for their meeting ended. Death sighed, standing up and pulling the beanie tighter over his scalp to protect from the rain. He turned to go. `` Death'' Klaus stopped him, `` What say I meet you in San Francisco, a week from now?'' 
 
 Death smiled, `` Sounds good to me, dude''
