[ WP ] Germany , 1909 . All your life , strangers have been trying to murder you . Finally , one confesses why : they 're trying to stop Adolph Hitler from causing WW2 . The only problem : your name is Adolph Hilter . Not Hitler , HILTER .

`` Yeah, we know,'' the asshole said, as he lay bleeding on the floor before me. He'd been fast, but I'd been faster. A lifetime of people trying to kill you tends to have that effect. 
 
 I blinked. `` You *know* I'm not the guy you're looking for.'' 
 
 `` Yeah, of course.'' 
 
 `` So why the **hell** do you keep trying to kill me?!'' 
 
 `` It's like this, okay...'' The asshole seemed unreasonably cogent for someone with a nine-millimeter bullet in his side. Probably had a metal liver or some other kind of damned future magic healing him up as we spoke. Goddamn time travelers, I tell you. `` We've been at this for a while. Tracking down Hitler and putting a bullet in his head -- that was easy. That happened... well... it was five or six years ago for me, but for you...'' He shrugged. 
 
 `` The problem is, history does n't like to change, you know? It's called temporal inertia. We killed Hitler. So then Himmler took his place in the timeline. Which I guess was reasonable, you know? Kill one crazy Nazi, another one winds up in his place...'' 
 
 `` Sorry, who?'' 
 
 `` Exactly. We mowed him down too. Easy.'' The future man took a breath. `` Then, next thing we know, it's Adolphus *Hister* who takes over Germany and wipes out countless millions of lives. Then, after him, it was Arnolt Hiedler. Then Albrecht Heilman. And so on.'' 
 
 `` So... history likes last names starting with H?'' 
 
 `` Not so much *likes* as... well, yeah.'' The asshole shrugged. `` For some reason, history insists that someone with the initials A.H. will always wind up taking over Germany and committing genocide. So the higher-ups keep broadening our scope. Anyone in Germany, Austria *and* Switzerland with those initials is considered a target. You just happen to be caught in the crossfire.'' 
 
 I narrowed my eyes. `` So to stop a genocide... you're basically committing one?'' 
 
 `` Irony's not lost on us, yeah.'' He shifted his eyes. `` Look, if it's any consolation, it's only a matter of time before the higher-ups throw in the towel and reset this whole mess back to the way it was. Even if you die, chances are you'll wake up any day now without any clue about time travel or anything.'' 
 
 `` And what the hell am I supposed to do in the meantime?!'' 
 
 He shrugged again. 
 
 I put another bullet in the asshole's head and went for the door. `` Oh, come on! That still hurts, you know!'' he called after me indignantly as I walked back onto the streets.
