[ WP ] An excerpt from the most cliché young adult novel

Kartip Notabean awoke in the middle of the night, every night, without fail. Covered in cold sweat and breathing heavily, he walked to the bathroom. The floors squealed as the rickety hut that he called home accepted his weight. He looked in the mirror. Seeing himself, he realized that he was unnaturally attractive and well built for a poor, grubby, malnourished, sweat-drenched 18 year old that had just awoken. Brushing this ridiculous thought aside, he drank some dirty water and returned to bed. 
 
 The following day, it was time for The Biting. It was an annual ceremony to decide the future of each 18-year-old. They would either be bitten by a glittery pale man and turn into a vampire, or bitten by a furry dog man and turn into a werewolf. 
 
 Kartip was ready for his fate. He shuffled along with all of the other malnourished, grubby teenagers, edging ever closer to the Overlords' emissaries. 
 
 `` Kartip Notabean. Come with me,'' he heard. The voice came from a smaller emissary, a female. He followed her into the Overlords' building in his town and into a small office. The emissary removed her holo-met. Kartip was taken aback by her startlingly blue eyes, well formed cheeks and kind face. 
 
 `` My name is Byoot. It's obvious that I'll be the love interest for the rest of the story. Our relationship will involve lots of pseudo-nudity, or psnudity, sensual caresses, long looks into each other's eyes and generall kissing towards the end. Anyway, I have to tell you that you ca n't be bitten.'' 
 `` Why?'' 
 
 `` Because you're a *Different One*. You're special. Your body contains a special substance, *Nobitium*, that would cause you to become an unstoppable super-soldier that would single-handedly take down the Overlords. Ultimately I'll help you take them down anyway, but that's irrelevant at the moment. I can sense your libido growing, so I'll let you go for now. Please follow Gracktin.'' Another emissary had entered the room. He followed her to a luxury jet outside, and they went for a lovely plane ride to the High City.
