[ WP ] Entry into Heaven is n't based on good deeds , but your answer to a queston : `` Why ? `` .

`` I do n't know what to say'' 
 
 `` Say whatever'' 
 
 `` What if I give the wrong answer'' 
 
 `` It's a bit like an English exam. There are no wrong answers, you just need to argue your case'' 
 
 `` So I ca n't fail'' 
 
 `` You can fail. It's just hard to fail'' 
 
 `` How do I fail?'' 
 
 `` I'm not allowed to tell you that'' 
 
 `` That does n't seem fair'' 
 
 `` Look, it's really easy. Just answer `` why?'''' 
 
 `` Why what though? I'm not even sure what you're asking me. It's not even a question really.'' 
 
 `` Is that your final answer?'' 
 
 `` No! I was just saying..'' 
 
 `` Look, there's a queue forming. Can you make this quick?'' 
 
 `` This is n't exactly routine here, we're talking about my eternity!'' 
 
 `` It's a bit routine to be honest. Well very routine for me'' 
 
 `` Can you give me a hint?'' 
 
 `` Well, what does your religion teach you?'' 
 
 `` I had a few. I was very confused in life.'' 
 
 `` Okay, well which one was your favourite?'' 
 
 `` I kind of liked Scientology. I got to meet lots of celebrities'' 
 
 `` Sorry, that one does n't count. What was your second favourite?'' 
 
 `` I was Rastafari for a few months. That was fun, lots of smoking weed. Is weed okay up here?'' 
 
 `` You do n't need drugs up here. Okay, so what might Haile Selassie I teach about'why'?'' 
 
 `` Well, he was a bit of a pragmatist. Did n't really consider himself divine if I remember correctly. But co-opted the role of messiah as a means of rejecting colonialism while establishing a confident self-identity for...'' 
 
 `` Yeah, but let's pretend he WAS a messiah, what kind of response might he give?'' 
 
 `` That's too theoretical a question. I mean he must be up here. Is he in heaven?'' 
 
 `` Data Protection sorry, ca n't reveal that. Look, you're really over-thinking this, just give me something wishy-washy... My job is letting people in, not keeping them out, but you really need to help me to help you. So let's try this again?... Why?'' 
 
 `` Love.'' 
 
 ``... and...'' 
 
 `` Love. That's enough right?'' 
 
 `` Maybe if you're in a Disney movie. This is more university level moral theology.'' 
 
 `` Love is n't the right answer?'' 
 
 `` No, it's a great answer. You just need to give me a bit more. You ca n't just give one word answers. You need to demonstrate you're a morally competent and mature human being. And I believe you are. I just need to evidence it. I have a marking criteria here and everything.'' 
 
 `` Can I see it?'' 
 
 `` No, that would be cheating'' 
 
 `` What if I need more time?'' 
 
 `` Back of the queue then...'' 
 

