[ Wp ] Morgan Freeman , Leonard Nimoy , Liam Neeson , Nicholas Cage , and Chuck Norris sit down for some Dungeons and Dragons . ( You pick DM )

`` I'll be a Cleric of no particular denomination,'' said Freeman, his mellow baritone rolling over the group seated around the table of dice, figurines and paper. 
 `` Look, you have to pick a deity, that's how Clerics work in D & D.'' 
 Freeman turned his sagacious gaze on the DM, 
 `` My cleric only believes in himself.'' 
 `` OK, fine. It can be a new prestige class. Masturbatory Monk or something.'' 
 `` I'll be a Lich.'' Leonard Nimoy's distinctive voice rang out across the table. 
 `` You ca n't be a Lich. You're a player character, you have to choose a class.'' 
 `` Just pick an autistic elf like you always do,'' said Neeson with a snort. 
 `` Oh-ho! That's rich coming from the guy who always plays a retired assassin. How does it go again?'I do n't know who you are, but I will find you and crit you''' 
 The DM handed a character sheet to Nimoy, `` Autistic Elven mage it is.'' 
 A raised eyebrow in the direction of Liam Neeseon elicited a tiny head-nod of shame and a pre-written retired assassin character sheet was handed around the table to him. 
 `` You did n't even change the name,'' griped the grizzled actor. 
 Ignoring him, the rest of the group turned to Nicholas Cage, who bounced up and down in his chair eagerly. 
 Nimoy groaned; `` Jesus, what's it gon na be this time? Half Ogre, half dwarf, Chaotic Good female Paladin?'' 
 Cage's eyes glistened with excitement, 
 `` Well, I had this *idea*...'' 
 `` No.'' said the DM. 
 `` You have n't even heard it!'' 
 `` Nope.'' 
 `` But I-'' 
 The DM pushed a character sheet to Nicholas; a Lawful Good Human Warrior. 
 `` Can I at least choose my own name?'' 
 `` No.'' 
 Defeated, Cage began filing in the background portion on the reverse side. 
 `` No being raised by kobolds and starting a kobold revolution.'' 
 Cage dropped the pencil, `` I do n't even know why I come here anymore.'' 
 `` Which brings us to Mr. Norris,'' announced the DM, `` What are you playing this campaign, Chuck?'' 
 `` An orc cyborg from the future,'' growled the bearded martial arts expert, `` with a roundhouse kick lightsabre.'' 
 `` That does n't even make any sense,'' whispered Freeman. 
 The DM shuffled some books around nervously, looking at the others desperately, 
 `` Do n't look at me,'' Neeson sat back, his hands raised, `` You invited him.'' 
 `` Look Chuck -'' 
 `` And a truck. A truck that turns into a helicopter.'' 
 With a sigh, the DM pushed the D & D manuals off the table and dropped another pile of books in their place. 
 `` Well guys, looks like we're playing Shadowrun again.'' 
 Shia LaBeouf opened the carefully scripted module he had written, 
 `` Let's get started then. You're walking in the woods. There's no one around and your phone is dead...'' 

