[ WP ] Kim-Jong Un has been dead for years , and you 're his imposter .

Journal entry: 
 9-15-2016 
 
 This life is beginning to strain on me: the generals - who hold the buttons to the nukes we bought from Cuba, built in 1972- are continually pressuring me to fill my body style to the clothing Kim-Kong's closet. This kid was such a blubber lard ass, I ca n't keep up. 
 
 Every day, I eat... Eat eat Eat. I eat cake, pudding, junk food, donuts, fair food, cheese... Basically Anything you would imagine a'handycapt' person on the Wal-Mart motorized scooter must be doing at home the other 23 hours of the day they are not at Wal-Mart ( no napkins either ). Those twinky-murderers are so fat they ca n't even walk. I shove all this crap, served to me on platters, into my face day in and day out. I ca n't keep up. 
 
 Kim-Jong.... He was so fat. Damn my parents for being korean! Personally, I do n't think my face is as flat as his was, but I am told if I keep gaining weight, more blubber will show up in my face like an orangutang... Like Kim's face. 
 
 Once weight is gained, like it was last time, we can go outside for some photo-ops for bullshit stories to hit the world wide web. 
 
 I have gone though this several times now. The generals. They are so strict with me. They examine me: `` NOT FAT ENOUGH TO BE LIKE KIM!!!'' youuuuu'have 3 WEEKS!'' 
 
 They even say it like the asian impressions from south park... Freggen wackjobs. 
 
 When I get large enough to face-flap on the wind on a mildly windy morning, I take the photos. Then I am not forced to eat so much. I shrink back down and am only called upon for useless meaningless threat sound bites against the rest of the world. 
 
 But my heart and organs are having a hard time for this: to be as fat as Kim... And to stay as fat as Kim stayed... Is.... Impossible. 
 
 I overheard rumors of several lardass replacements to be brought in as competition. 
 
 One of them is of Korean descent... Small boned like me ( and kim )... But he is American. 
 
 I am doomed! He will be fat and stay fat forever! McDonald's pizza and beer are the coating of his insides. 
 
 Dann this life!!!!! 
 
 I must devise a plan for my safety in this world. Death is immanent if I am replaced... 
 
 Must keep eating.... Must keep.... 
 
...... 
 
....... 
 
 Eating. 
 

