[ WP ] You begin to suspect , after a string of unusual occurrences , that your roommate has the power to control time .

The third worst thing about eating tacos is when the shell splits in half because there's too much meat inside. The second worst thing is when you bite into your taco, and the meat juices start to dribble down the side of your hand. The worst thing, though, is when you're about to bite into your perfectly handcrafted taco, and it vanishes midway into your mouth. 
 
 `` Look, Aiden, we need to talk.'' I walked into our living room just in time to see him wipe traces of liquid from his lips—liquid that suspiciously resembled meat juice. 
 
 He leaned back on the couch and swallowed. I hoped his esophagus was in the process of being shredded by insufficiently chewed fragments of taco shells. `` What's up, Grant?'' 
 
 `` I've been noticing that food tends to disappear from my plate, as well as from my hand, when you're around.'' 
 
 `` Disappear? As in, disappear into your stomach?'' Aiden refused to look at me; his face was glued to the television. 
 
 `` You also seem to finish all your assignments in the hour before they're due.'' 
 
 `` Does n't everyone, though?'' Aiden began shoving popcorn into his mouth from a bowl that I'm pretty sure had n't been here before. 
 
 `` Finally, on multiple occasions, I've found myself with my pants around my ankles, when they were secured firmly around my waist a second before.'' I placed my hands on my hips to check that my pants were indeed still there. 
 
 `` Do you need a belt? You can borrow one of mine.'' 
 
 To think that such a clown would end up being gifted with superpowers. `` Quit playing, Aiden,'' I said crossly, `` I know you're stopping time and pulling all these stunts while the world is frozen.'' 
 
 Aiden finally turned away from the television. `` Are you okay, Grant? Do you need to lie down? Is everything alright in there?'' He got up and waved his hand in front of my face. `` Of all the possible, infinitely more reasonable explanations you could have come up with, you go with'Aiden must be a timelord pulling pranks on me'?'' 
 
 `` Well, for one,'' I said, smacking his hand away, `` we've been receiving letters from'The Time Police'.'' Of course, every time I tried to open those letters, they would disappear from my hands. 
 
 `` Never heard of them.'' Aiden flopped back onto the couch. 
 
 `` There's also a giant glowing clock in your bedroom.'' 
 
 `` It's just a clock, dude.'' He turned back to his movie. 
 
 `` Well, if you do n't mind,'' I said, walking past him, `` I'm going to get rid of your clock, since it's just that.'' 
 
 `` Do n't be a clockblock, man,'' he called after me. 
 
 Unsurprisingly, when I opened his bedroom door, the clock was nowhere to be seen. He'd probably stopped time to hide it somewhere. Maybe I should n't have tipped him off and just went and done it myself later, but fuck if Aiden was n't the type of guy to piss you off into making poor decisions. 
 
 As I turned to leave his room, I stumbled and fell face-first onto the floor. My pants had mysteriously wrapped themselves around my ankles again.
