[ WP ] Hagrid comes to your house and tell you your a wizard ... A window installation wizard !

Harry woke up to the sound of what sounded like a very fat man breathing over him. Having lived in a house with a group of very fat people, Harry at first did not register this as strange. 
 
 `` Oi, Arry. You awake.'' The heavy breathing turned into a cough which woke harry from his feigned slumber. The man was large, so large in fact that his back brushed against the ceiling. It was the only apparent way the giant could fit. 
 
 `` Who the....'' 
 
 The fat man jumped across the room and put a large smelly hand over Harry's mouth, muting whatever cry he was about to let out. 
 
 `` Ey, ey steady now'' he whispered, blowing out his moustache `` I'm not ere to urt you'' 
 
 After a moment of struggling Harry eventually gave up, and a moment after that the fat man released him and plonked him ungraciously back down onto the bed. Harry hoped that no-one had heard that, because if they had he would be sleeping without bed clothes again for a month. 
 
 `` I'm Hagrid'' Hagrid said, pulling something out of his coat pocket. `` And Hagrid has something for you'' 
 
 Harry looked at him cautiously before taking the letter from his hands. It was plain and white, with small indentations. `` What is this?'' 
 
 `` I'm sorry Harry, but i dont know. I was given that here letter with the instruction not to open it till it was in your hands. Or no wait, i was instructed to let you open the letter in my hands. Yes that must have been it.'' 
 
 Hagrid grabbed the letter roughly off harry and knelt down to present the letter again. Not really knowing what was going on, Harry motioned to open the letter but Hagrid suddenly grabbed it away again. 
 
 `` How about i open it for you and you read it'' 
 
 Harry was beginning to become annoyed at the fat man who had intruded on his sleep. He folded his arms `` Why ca n't i just open it myself?'' 
 
 `` Because Dumbledore was very clear, he said not to let anyone read that letter but you. So that means i open it and you read it'' 
 
 `` That is not what that means!'' Harry hissed, making a move to grab the letter again but Hagrid was too fast pulling the letter away just as harry got a hold of it. In a moment of stillness, Harry heard the ripping of envelope followed by a strange green flame that engulfed the letter and whatever was inside it. Shortly after that the room returned to stillness. 
 
 Hagrid and Harry sat staring at one another for a while, Hagrid eventually poking at the ash that had once been the letter. `` I guess you were right, sorry about that. Its a failsafe mechanism, only ive never seen them burst into flames like that, they usually just let out a roar'' 
 
 Hagrid scooped up the ash and put it into his pocket. `` Well, sorry about that. I do have another letter for you. And i was given very specific instruction only to give it to you only if that there letter burst into flames'' 
 
 Harry sat glaring at the fat man, he found none of this funny. It was bad enough that he had to live under the stairs, but now he had to be woken up in the middle of the night by fat hairy pyromaniacs who stole his letters. `` Are you going to let me open it'' 
 
 `` Well, seeing as how the last one decided to explode, i think we'll let you open this one'' Hagrid said, handing the letter to Harry with newfound care. 
 
 Without waiting for Hagrid to snatch it back, Harry ripped open the envelope and read: 
 
 `` Hello World, 
 
 You have been accepted into the window's school for World of War-craft and installer wizardry. If you have read this far, it means you are both literate and have opened the letter correctly, otherwise it would be engulfed by flame and be thoroughly unreadable. The first letter contained an invitation to the Hogwarts school for witchcraft and wizardry, but seeing as you destroyed that one, we can only assume that a life as a computer wizard is more suitable'' 
 
 Harry looked slowly up at the fat Giant, who was behind him trying to read the letter. The giant had a sort of strange look on his face, as if trying to hold in laughter or very bad gas. 
 
 `` I was going to be a wizard, and you destroyed the letter?'' 
 
 Hagrid scratched his head and moved quickly toward the window, which he had broken to gain access to the room. `` So sorry about that Arry, but whats done is done. That's never happened before'' 
 
 `` So you can fix it? 
 
 `` No, ca n't be fixed. I was given instruction to not allow you to change your letter once you had destroyed the first'' 
 
 Harry felt like hitting Hagrid. What did he mean `` once'' he had destroyed the first. Was this planned. 
 
 `` Hagrid you fat piece of....'' 
 
 But before Harry could finish what he was going to say, Hagrid had jumped out the window and disappeared across the sky on a motor bike leaving Harry staring open mouthed out the window, clutching the invitation letter in his hands. 
 
 A loud bang at the door forecasted the entry of his Uncle Vernon who almost barrelled into Harry in his anger. `` You! Get to bed and quit shouting out the window! I swear your aunt is at her wits end. She has choir in the morning boy!'' 
 
 

