[ IP ] Pirates for Hire

`` Oy, Murray! Pass'at botl o'r'ere.'' 
 
 The parrot outstretched its shaking wing, at that point in the morning barely able to hold on to the bottle. The grizzled cat swiped at the booze, and in one motion took a swig from the mouth. 
 
 `` Reeeeoooowww! Tha's a spot right there!'' With that the cat picked his weathered instrument back up, and began pumping out a hap hazard mess of a tune that the others knew well. Murray proceeded to dance and clap, while Felton ( after taking his own drink ) began strumming his un-tuned lute. And then Felton sang, 
 
 `` Oh a dog a bin nippin at mah heals 
 
 But I'm kine'cus she makes all mah meals 
 
 Nah I'd ne'er raise a han to harm'er 
 
 She the perdiest-old-gal you'd sawr 
 
 Tho'er golden'airs all turned grey 
 
 An' she aint had a thought worth ta say 
 
 There's a spark in'er eye 
 
 That makes me wan' a cry 
 
 WHEN THAT MEAN OL' BITCH BARKS! 
 
 YOU AINT GETTING LAID TODAY!'' 
 
 With the last line the three characters broke into peels of laughter, their music fading into murky, and muddy gasps of sound. 
 
 `` Oy Felton,'ow is that bitch wife a yers?'' The big cat quipped. 
 
 `` Shut yer gob Harold ya know she only lived ta the ripe ol' age a 105. Bless tha' ol' girls heart.'' 
 
 `` Bless'er more-n-that! Called out the drunken parrot! 
 
 And immediately, amongst more raucous laughter, the three started their next song of drunkenness and debauchery. 
 
 

