[ WP ] Aliens have just made contact with Earth . Strangely enough , it seems that human technology is superior .

There are maybe like, five things that set humans apart from the rest of the galaxy. Six if you count the fact that their bodies are symmetrical on the outside but not on the inside, and seven if you count that weird `` right or left handed'' thing. 
 
 Anyway, the most important thing is that they're really distractable. Some species devote their entire existence to a single goal. Generation after generation, century after century, they band together in blind pursuit of a grander purpose. Garblax-9 was really into war and conquest, and as a result, they've either colonized or vaporized every other planet in a fifteen lightyear radius. Yukron-6 was all about artistic achievement, so the planet was covered in libraries and museums devoted to showcasing the greatest works they could create. Lasgon was a hedonistic planet, that basically functioned as one prolonged multi-century orgy until the Garblaxians blew it up. 
 
 Meanwhile, on Earth, they decided they wanted to go to space. It was their new number one priority. The `` Space Race'' made the papers literally every single day, so you'd probably imagine they were dumping everything they had into the project, right? 
 
 Wrong. They spent like, four and a half percent of their budget on it. Also, they subdivide their planet into little smaller blocks, so it was n't even the whole planet. It was four and a half percent of what three percent of the planet could produce. And here's the crazy thing: they fucking did it. 
 
 No, seriously, they made it off the planet. Not far -- they've got a moon a couple hundred thousand miles out, so it was n't a huge distance, but still! They did it with no funding, no time, and no manpower. So you'd think they'd go crazy. This would be the most amazing thing to ever happen in the history of their civilization, and now that they know it's possible, they're going to devote themselves to it 100 % percent and explore the whole galaxy, right? 
 
 Again, wrong. They went back to the moon a couple times, then they got bored and moved on to something else. Some of them tried to cure diseases, and some of them were artists, and some of those smaller blocks spent a bunch of time fighting each other, and I think a few of them kept working on the space thing. It was all super disorganized. 
 
 I'm from a planet that catalogs knowledge. That's our thing. We keep tabs on everything we can and try to record it all. So we'd seen the humans go to space almost fifty years ago, but we had n't seen them since. We figured something must be wrong. Maybe they were a dead civilization or something. So we piled into a ship and headed out there. 
 
 It's a long trip -- a little over five lightyears total. By the time we get there, the ship's barely holding together, we're almost out of rations, and our pilot's sick or something, so we're basically flying the ship with one hand and turning pages in the training manual with the other. We half-land, half-crash in a field on the outskirts of some big settlement, expecting to find some precarious ruins still standing as a monument to the hubris of a dead world. 
 
 Turns out they're all fine. Alive and well. They just got bored of space. They've got computers so small they can fit in your hand! And they can prick you with these needles that stop you from getting sick! There's a little box that can cook food in under a minute, and almost everyone has one! 
 
 We cataloged everything we could, borrowed a couple of the tiny computers and the little cooking boxes, stocked up our rations, and headed home to share the news. 
 
 Then Earth got blown up by Garblax-9. Go figure.
