[ WP ] You are the janitor that has to clean up after Mortal Kombat fights .

Mike Sullivan sighed as he removed his cup of cheap noodles from the microwave; it was on the fritz again, the second time in as many weeks. He wished they would just replace it already, but if eight years at Netherrealm Inc. had taught him anything, it was that Shao Kahn was a cheap bastard. 
 
 `` I do n't get it,'' he muttered to his buddy, Ted. 
 
 `` Hmm?'' Ted asked with only the slightest interest, too engrossed in the sports page to really care. 
 
 `` Mr. Kahn's got unlimited cosmic power and the wealth of an entire realm at his disposal, and we ca n't even get a decent break room.'' He stirred his lukewarm lunch, shrugged with a disgusted curse, and tossed it in the trash. Looked like it was going to be a vending machine day again. 
 
 `` At least the pay's good.'' Ted flipped the page and checked his watch -- Mr. Kahn was a stickler for not clocking in on time. Being five minutes late could cost you an arm and a leg. Literally. `` What'a they have ya booked for today?'' 
 
 `` Baraka and Reptile here soon, then Chameleon and Noob Saibot later.'' 
 
 Ted looked over and winced. `` Ouch. Messy day, huh?'' 
 
 `` You're tellin' me. I understand havin' swords in your arms would be useful, but come on... just stab the guy through the brain or somethin', ya know? Does he really have to do the whole'human blender' thing? That shit takes forever to clean up after.'' Mike stuck a pair of skull-emblazoned coins into the machine and waited for the mystery food packet to drop. He'd long since given up on questioning what it was. Hopefully this one would n't try to bite him back. `` What about you?'' 
 
 `` Sub-Zero vs Liu Kang.'' 
 
 `` You lucky son of a bitch.'' 
 
 Ted just chuckled and went back to his paper. `` Hey, if I got ta clean up a mess, I'd much rather do it when it's encased in a bunch of ice.'' 
 
 `` No kiddin'...'' 
 
 The break room door swung open, and Mike looked up from his snack to see the scantily-clad figure of a beautiful woman dressed in purple enter the room. Then he saw her face and immediately stared at the ground instead. 
 
 `` Good morning, boyssss,'' Mileena said with a grin that quite literally went from ear to ear. 
 
 `` M-Mornin', ma'am,'' Mike and Ted said respectfully, eyeing each other nervously as Mileena opened the fridge. She produced a large bag the size of a bowling ball and opened the top, revealing a severed head. 
 
 `` Chad sssstole my lunch yesssterday. Today, he *issss* lunch.'' She lifted the head to her mouth, then paused. `` How rude of me to not offer any. Care for a bite?'' she asked, holding Chad's head out to the guys. 
 
 `` Uhh, no thanks, ma'am, I'm... I'm good. Full, I mean. Not good like, you know, tasty.'' Mike blinked. `` Please do n't eat me.'' 
 
 The door swung open again as Mileena took a bite out of Chad's head. Standing there was a familiar figure dressed in yellow and black, his lifeless, white eyes seeming to bore a hole into Mike's soul. He pointed and shouted the words Mike had come to fear more than any other in this world or the next. 
 
 `` GET OVER HERE... and bring your diaper bag.'' 
 
 `` Ooooh, looksss like sssomeone performed a Babality,'' Mileena laughed. `` And Mike? Do n't forget the wipesss this time.'' 
 
 Mike plopped his head into his hands. 
 
 `` I hate my job.''
