[ WP ] - Whatever name you pull on the new Coca-Cola bottles becomes your legal first name until you buy another .

Ever since the whole Coca-Cola name changing craze things have gone great for the economy, American citizens however, did n't come out so lucky. At first Coca-Cola's idea seemed innocent enough. Girls would fill social media with their bottles of Coke branded with their name, couples would buy each other bottles labelled with their names and so on and so forth. This went on for months until the entire game changed. Everyone thought it was a joke at first. When Coca-Cola, along with the American government unveiled that bottles of Coca-Cola hid the names on the bottle until after you purchase them. The bottles could only be purchased via credit/debit, and once the Coke was scanned, your new name was bestowed upon you. Until you bought a new bottle you were stuck with the name you got. The news ate this up, spreading the story across the world. Social Media was now filled with people updating their profiles with their new names. The DMV had lines that wrapped around the block from 9-5, Reddit was clogged with posts of new names and memes regarding the situation, and so on and so forth. The economists were eating this stunt up. Whether the politicians truly lost their marbles this time or if this stunt was an insane attempt to help stimulate the economy, they did n't know. To be honest, they did n't really care. Coke was skyrocketing past Google, Apple, and other companies in a matter of hours. The only people who lost were the customers. They were trapped in a cycle of changing names, which made America that much more chaotic for Police Officers and even worse for grandparents who could n't remember their grandkids' names in the first place. I personally do n't mind that much, sure I have to stifle my laugh when Elizabeth, the 54 year old Hell's Angel member buys another pack of cigarettes at the gas station. Sure, I get uncomfortable moaning `` Frank'' when my girlfriend and I make love, but the worst of it all is that they put the cocaine back in the soda, ensuring continuous name changes and almost forced business. How was this allowed? I'm not sure. But boy am I thirsty.
