[ WP ] Scientists invent a device that measures people 's hope in life and their will to live from a scale of 1 to 100 . Your number is 0 .

Kristy nearly tipped the wheelchair in her rush to get me loaded into the van. 
 
 `` Why are you so worked up?'' I asked as she centered me on the loading platform. 
 
 `` Reg? C'mon, seriously? Do you not think this is serious? They could have you *committed*.'' Kristy's eyes shone, wet and dark in the shade of the open door. If I could have reached out and wiped those tears away, I would have. 
 
 `` Because of the number?'' 
 
 `` Yes, Reg, because of the damn *number*.'' She buckled me in the place and raced around to the driver's seat. 
 
 `` They ca n't put me in a hospital because of the number,'' I said. `` Besides, it's not like I'm a danger to myself.'' 
 
 `` It's not that,'' said Kristy, throwing the van into reverse. `` Your levels... you know why they re-tested you six times?'' 
 
 `` I'm a hard man to read,'' I said, smiling. Kristy ignored the joke. 
 
 `` They thought it was broken. The floor is *one*, Reg. That's the absolute floor. And they've never registered someone below a 15 before. So you...'' 
 
 `` Am I gon na be in the Guinness Book of Records?'' I asked. 
 
 `` *It's not a joke. * These tests are serious. People are n't allowed to be that kind of unhappy.'' 
 
 `` But I'm not unhappy,'' I said. `` I think I'm doing pretty well for myself.'' 
 
 `` Well...'' Kristy trailed off as she pulled onto the highway. `` Really, Reg...'' I could tell she was crying, harder than before. `` Why? If you were so sad, why did n't you ever say anything?'' 
 
 `` Babe, I'm *not* sad,'' I said, again, wishing against all the other wishes in the world that I could just put my damn hand on her shoulder. `` I'm not. I do n't know how that test works. How do you measure someone's will to live? What's the science?'' 
 
 `` You know I have no idea.'' 
 
 `` Well.'' I thought fast. Because really, *why*? Why would I score so low? Was I wrong about how I felt? Could anyone be so out of touch with themselves they did n't even know they were the most miserable person the world's ever seen? 
 
 `` You know, though, maybe it *is* right,'' I said. `` I do n't have any will to live.'' 
 
 Kristy sobbed, though she did her best to hide it. 
 
 `` No, hear me out. A will to live - that's effort. That's a struggle and a willingness to struggle. It's a fight. The highest numbers, those are the people that are fighting for their lives all the time. But I'm not gon na fight for it, babe. And maybe that's it.'' 
 
 `` So you do n't want to be alive?'' 
 
 `` I do n't *want* anything,'' I said, realizing that I meant it. `` I died in that accident, Kris. I was gone and it was over and that meant I was n't ever gon na see you again in this world. But I came back. And here I am. And... I do n't know how to say this so it makes sense. But this is so good. Every day I wake up and I see your face and I feel like no one's ever been so lucky. If it ends now, I'm still the luckiest. I'll always be the luckiest. There's nothing to fight for. I'm already at the mountaintop. Wanting more... fighting for another scrap of life... that's silly. That's selfish. I got to see you one more time. And every day since I've been drowning in good fortune.'' 
 
 The car pulled over. The door wrenched open and Kristy threw herself around me. She buried her face in my neck and I felt her tears and her heat and her heart. 
 
 `` You know,'' I said, `` if they made a device that measured how much I love you, it'd show zero, too.'' She pulled away to look into my eyes. `` Because it'd break the very minute they strapped me in and turned it on.'' 
 
 She laughed. `` You're an idiot.'' 
 
 `` I'm a world record holder,'' I said. And she laughed even more.
