[ WP ] The heart in conflict with itself .

`` Steph, 
 
 I lie here dying on the cold mountains of Afghanistan. It reminds me of the first time you taught me how to ski in Maine. We shared so many hours that week together on that mountain, but you were just my best friend. Remember how I went down the advanced slope on the second day? I was scared shitless, but I did it anyways to impress you. When we slept in the same room together every night, as a friend, I could only pray for a miracle that you would sleep under my arms. When we came back to school, I could n't ever see you again. Every time I saw you flirt with another guy I died a little inside. When you dated one of my friends, I went on a two month drinking and fucking spree trying to tear you from my mind. But I could never tell you how I feel, I would rather bear all the pain than to hear that you do n't feel the same way. When we finally graduated duty called for me. I've had the courage to go through Airborne school, crawl miles in the mud at 4 in the morning through Ranger school, go to the deep into the darkest corners of the world where hatred and poverty breed violence and death, and only now can I confess my love for you. Only in this black cave lit by the last few drops of battery I have in my flashlight, scribbling on a piece of bloodsoaked paper with a broken pen, I can write that I love you. I have lived a life with more action than I cared to see for thirty lifetimes but my only regret that gnaws at my soul is that I never had the courage to tell you how I feel. Not even after all I have seen. 
 
 Cpt. Vincent Zain'' 
 
 The special forces captain read the letter again. A single tear flowed down is face. All the pain and loneliness he had bottled down inside since he was fifteen came flowing out. He had never cried before because it was weak. His men called him Stoneface because he had never shown any fear on the most dangerous missions or any anger when everything went wrong. Only now lying alone in a cave with a broken body and half a face with half the taliban army looking for him he can cry. It was not because he was going to die but it was because he took that letter and tore it up. As his eyes drifted into eternity, he only saw the pieces of his letter drifting away into the wind. He gave everything, but fate had dealt him nothing.
