[ PI ] [ CC ] Trying to get better in new styles , I 'd love some feedback .

*Ca n't run through everything, but here's a bit* 
 
 
 **I ca n't tell you how it felt, **^1 being summoned up from the **lower**^2 ranks to serve at Our Father's right hand. 
 
 
 We **host**^3 are rarely surprised, but `` this, this'' ^4 was so unimaginable! 
 
 
 I, Azreoll, a simple Virtue! Chosen to become an Archangel! Even within the Host's near-infinite knowledge, such a thing has never happened before. 
 
 
 **My first assignment. This is where I would be tested. **^5 Our Father does love his trials and challenges. When all of eternity is stretched before you, it takes His infinite wisdom and love to see when and how much we need to be pushed. To, what is the human word.... Self - actualize. **Funny little bald monkeys. I rather like them. **^6 
 
 
 The name came to me as Divine will. I felt it echo though the cosmos as my aura was elevated through the circles of the Host. It was magnificent. As I rose, I could see the ripples of time and space, the ebb and flow of life and death, the beauty of creation, and I **wept with joy. **^7 
 
 
 **The name was: Ice Cube. **^8 
 
 
 This was to be my first crucible and I would not disappoint Father. Passing through the gossamer thin fabric of reality, I found my charge. 
 
 
 **This was a test. It had to be. This charge was most unusual. Most unusual indeed. I would never question Our Father's Will, His Word is all and I follow... But this? **^9 
 No matter. I am to prove myself unto him and be seen as worthy in his eyes. 
 
 
 I will do my duty, be the sword and the scythe and the law upon earth. Ice Cube has had the time due and will have no more. 
 
 
 I edge events forwards, I see the plan for his end in my mind and I **nudge causality**^10 towards it. 
 
 
 Before long, the water washes over him. It swallows him in the cool clear depths. I see his struggle to survive, to continue his existence. They always struggle. Why they cling so tightly to their mortal coils, when Our Father's Design is absolute, is beyond my reckoning. 
 
 
 The water is taking him now, I see him fading away. Slipping from one state into another, ceasing to be what he was, ceasing to be separate from the **tapestry of the universe. **^11 
 
 
 It is done. 
 
 
 1. I hate this phrase because it sounds like a cop-out on the authors parts. If you really have to use something like this I suggest incorporating it more into the theme of the story. In this case, something along the lines of `` Mortals can never know the sheer exaltation...'' We replace `` felt'' with exaltation, giving the reader a hint of which direction we're going. We use `` Mortals...'' which allows us instantly to give some immediate mystery to the story ( This thing talking is n't mortal? ). Lastly, it gives a reason why we ca n't tell. Because the reader is mortal, and it would be like trying to fathom a higher dimension, it is beyond us and so words can not convey it. 
 
 
 2. Minor thing, I suggest `` lesser'' here. Lesser implies a hierarchy of actual differences and not a mortal hierarchy where I can be `` lower'' than someone and yet still smarter than them because they're some CEO's nephew 
 
 
 3. Like the word usage of `` host'' here, very biblical. 
 
 
 4. I think that the word repetition works well here. 
 
 
 5. Unless you really are for it, suggest making this one sentence `` My first assignment, a test.'' Because you're using `` My'' and then `` I'' in the next sentence it slows down flow. 
 
 
 6. Again, not sure we need the hard stop of the period here. 
 
 
 7. Good paragraph, really like the word usage and the flow here. 
 
 
 8. This works really well, because the initial setup is played so straight, really good move. 
 
 
 9. I know that you get to the miscommunication bit, but there is n't a whole lot of context about why the charge is unusual and so it's difficult to figure out or reason out the moment of hesitation here. We know it's an Ice Cube, but the angel should n't care. **Edit Let me rephrase the payoff for this joke does n't come for a long while and it feels like you're kind of hiding it a bit from the reader which may seem petty for the sake of the joke. ** 
 
 
 10. Good word usage. 
 
 
 11. That's a pretty nice phrase, I like it. 
 
 
 Overall: 
 Most of it is really good and has excellent usage of vocabulary and verbage. A couple points to critique and maybe some thoughts on the rest, but overall i really enjoyed it. The thing is, that when most of the vocabulary is good, any sort of missteps kinda get showcased more. Nice read.
