[ WP ] A story where the protagonist is a pretty decent individual by most accounts , but is DESPISED by the narrator .

*The weight of her body in his arms was all Jack could think about. He was so happy she was alive. This moment was all that mattered. He looked Tiffany in the eyes and said `` Hey Tiff, you know what I want to change about this moment?'' A smile crept up on her face and she asked `` What?'' he quickly responded: `` Nothing! I would change nothing about this moment.'' She laughed and leaned into his chest* 
 
 `` Really dude? I mean come on, you would n't change anything at all? You've known this girl for what, 8 months? You're fucking 29 years old and now this girl's existence is your primary source of happiness? Oh christ this is gon na be a long one.'' 
 
 *Big ol' cunt Jack leaned his nose to her-* 
 
 `` Goddamnit Charlie, you ca n't just- Aw fuck now the script's changed itself. You got ta narrate this stuff right!'' 
 `` Yea whatever, Bill. Serves him right.'' 
 
 *As Jack leaned forward to nuzzle his head into Tiffany's hair, he suddenly felt uncomfortable. ``... Damn. Am I a giant cunt?'' he thought to himself. `` What's wrong Jack?'' Tiffany said as she leaned her head down to his lap and looked up at him. `` Oh nothing, what do you mean?'' he asked. `` I do n't know, you seemed distracted for a minute...'' she said as she touched her finger to his chin. He just smiled and kissed her. He always like the little bump on her bottom lip that she had from cutting it when she was a child. Her tongue fluttered into his as she took a deep breath. His breathing quickened as he thought tonight might be night that they make love. * 
 
 `` Wait what. Bill, you mean to tell me this fucking guy has n't banged this broad and he's already quoting that line from Talented Mr. Ripley when Matt Damon is trying to bang that dude on the boat? Who read this last, Frank? He did n't tell me this shit.'' 
 `` Dude, whatever. Do n't you wan na get out of here sometime tonight? These humans lives are n't gon na live themselves, just read the damn thing and stick to the script.'' 
 `` Aye aye captain.'' 
 
 *Jack stopped worrying about whether tonight would be the night and just tried to enjoy the moment. Except no he did n't, he realized he's being a big pussy so he finally chose to grow a pair of balls and put his hand on one of her tits while he unzipped his pants with the left. * 
 
 `` Charlie, you're a real asshole, you know that? Tom is going to have our asses for this.'' 
 
 *'' Wait, Jack, stop! What are you doing?'' Tiffany said, shocked. `` What about our pact? This is not right.'' she said in protest. Jack was surprised by what just happened, it was like he had lost control. `` Tiffany, I'm sorry, I do n't know what came over me.'' He stammered. Except he stopped stammering and chose to stop putting up with this Catholic abstinence bullshit and speak his mind: `` You know what, Angel of my HEART or whatever crap I call you,'' * 
 
 `` Let's see... should be in Chapter 4. Nuzzlemuffin? That's what he fucking calls her?'' 
 
 *Jack realized he really is a big cunt and proceeded to say: `` I ca n't believe I called you Nuzzlemuffin, you're making me even more of a big cunt than I already am. Anyways NUZZLEMUFFIN, you better put out or get the fuck out.'' The words came out of his mouth smooth and confident. His strong expression changed to shock immediately after saying it. * 
 
 `` Oh fuck we're totally getting fired. When it happens, we're getting shitfaced and you're buying.'' 
 
 *'' Haha whatever, fuck it - I hate this job and I know you do too.'' Jack added. Tiffany's expression of utter shock changed to confusion. `` What.. what job are you talking about?'' She asked. * 
 
 `` Dude, the button, you have to let go of it!'' 
 `` Ohhh hahahaha oh god. Whatever, we're already fired. Who's doing the liferead next? Frank? Perfect, I hate that guy anyway.''
