[ EU ] Write banter for Poker Night 3 , starring Rick Sanchez ( Rick and Morty ) , Grunkle Stan ( Gravity Falls ) , Batman ( Detective Comics Comics ) , and a fourth character of your choice .

With apologies, having not seen Gravity Falls, Grunkle's place with be taken by Lion-o and the fourth seat by Archer. 
 
 ***** 
 
 `` I *burp*... I do n't understand why your sidekicks gets to move around and fetch drinks while Morty has to sit in this chair behind me and not move.'' 
 
 Batman kept his cool as Rick once again interrupted him. `` Robin is a servant of justice; he is trained to be honest and true, regardless of the circumstance, he would never cheat on my behalf. On the other hand, we all heard you telling your sidekick on the way in to try to get a good view of our cards and to tell you who was winning.'' 
 
 Lion-o's booming voice rang out in agreement. `` And Snarf is my manservant, dedicated to my needs. If he was not here then who would serve me this delicious Ro-Bear Berbil juice?'' 
 
 Snarf rolled his eyes. `` I keep telling you it's whisky Lion-o and you; re drinking a lot! Snarf snarf.'' 
 
 `` And I keep telling you to shut your damn mouth and bring me another glass.'' Lion-o was becoming drunk and belligerent and the small cat looked increasingly unhappy. 
 
 `` Jesus Christ if I'd knows we were allowed to being someone to serve drinks I would have brought Cyril... or Woodhouse, if he was n't dead. Can we stop fucking around and actually play some damn cards? I'm supposed to be on a mission and so far it would probably be more fun that sitting here with you five.'' 
 
 `` Snarf snarf.'' was muttered from the corner causing Archer to spin in his seat. 
 
 `` No, I *did* mean five and you *don't* get counted. Sentient cats are not people.'' He turned back to find Lion-o sitting with his arms crossed. `` Well, obviously *you* count as you're in human form, it's just your little... oh fuck you're going to hit me are n't you?'' 
 
 Batman began flicking cards across the table as Lion-o and Archer rolled around on the floor trying to choke each other and Rick took the opportunity to stand and grab a bottle from the bar. He cracked his knuckles. `` So, what're we playing then? Gin? Whist? Go fish?'' 
 
 A muffled sound came from under the table `` Thumber, thunger, thunderbat huuooo'' A briught red light suddenly filled the room and Archer screamed in pain. 
 
 `` No fair, fight like a man, or half cat or whatever.'' Slowly the two dragged themselves out and sat back on their chairs. 
 
 Batman had sat patiently all this time and now took the chance to start. `` Five card stud gents, let's go.'' Around the table the cards were peaked at and betting began. 
 
 All four around the table bet freely and soon more than half the money was in the middle. Archer looked down at his cards and shrugged. `` Fuck it, all in. Why not.'' 
 
 Lion-o gazed for a few minutes and then followed suit. `` I believe I have you beaten, cat-racist.'' 
 
 `` Oh yeah, you think so?'' Rick had been watching the table carefully. `` Well I have all you chumps beat.'' He pushed his money into the middle too. 
 
 batman smiled a thin smile and wordlessly pushed his chips in as well and then turned to Archer and gestured for him to lay down. With a smile Archer lay down a straight, but Lion-o cried in joy and threw down a flush. 
 
 Rick slowly let his hand down and showed off his hand, four queens and the group turned to Batman. Finally smiling he lay them down one at a time. Ten through ace of clubs, a royal flush. 
 
 There was a moment's silence as the table absorbed it before Rick shook his head. `` I ca n't believe I let you have prep time with the cards'' Batman shook his head but the table was flipped out of the way. 
 
 Batman looked around at the advancing angry faces and then disappeared in a plume of smoke, the faint sound of his voice just carrying his last words. `` *Because I'm batman... *'' 
 
 ***** 
 
 Archer woke with a start and looked around. He was still on stakeout, waiting for the Armenian arms dealers. Batman comics, Thundercat toys and a portable TV sat around him like a shrine. He shrugged, pulled a bottle of whisky open with his teeth and drank deeply.
