[ WP ] You 've sold many souls to the devil . It ca n't figure out how you have so many .

The Devil stood before me. As per standard, thick, black smoked billowed around him like a cloak. Like his horns, it was the colour of midnight. 
 
 `` I do n't remember summoning you.'' I said, pressing the mute button on my TV remote. 
 
 `` You did n't. I am here of my own accord.'' He responded, his voice seeming to come from every corner of the room at once. `` I need to know how you have so many souls.'' 
 
 `` I dunno. Found'em.'' I shrugged. 
 
 `` Just yesterday, you traded a mortal soul into eternal damnation and torment for a *sandwich*. Just a regular sandwich. It was n't even the first time you've done that.'' He said, brow creasing. 
 
 `` So you want to know where I keep finding souls?'' 
 
 `` Yes. I'll trade back every mortal soul you've ever given me. Just tell me where they come from.'' 
 
 I scoffed. `` With the amount of souls I have? You keep them. It's small change at this point.'' 
 
 The Devil's confusion increased tenfold. `` You consider a total of one hundred thousand, two hundred and thirty three souls to be *small change*?'' 
 
 I shrugged. `` Basically.'' 
 
 Anger flashed onto his ugly face. `` Where do the souls come from?'' 
 
 I sighed, and cleared my throat. `` Well, you see, Mister Stan...'' 
 
 `` Satan.'' He corrected, angered further by my apparent inability to remember the name of the father of all lies. 
 
 `` That's what I said. Anyway, when a mummy soul and a daddy soul love each other very much, they have a baby soul. Any questions?'' 
 
 `` I tire of your jokes, *mortal*.'' He growled, completely unaware that I was n't kidding. 
 
 Souls are power. Of course, when you have more souls than the Devil himself, that gives you some capacity to surprise him. I knew that his revenge would be terrible if he actually worked out how to breed souls, so I snapped my fingers. 
 
 The smoke around The Devil began to dissipate. 
 
 ``... What are you doing?'' He asked. ``... How are you doing...'' 
 
 And he vanished. That ought to keep him away for at least a week. I was already thinking of new ways to mock the god of the underworld as I unmuted my TV to watch another episode of my favorite sitcom.
