[ wp ] after dying god informs you that hell is a myth , and `` everyone sins , its ok '' . instead the dead are sorted into six `` houses of heaven '' based on the sins they chose .

`` My Lord, h-how could this happen?'' 
 
 `` Everyone dies, Peter.'' 
 
 `` Yes but you're God. You're supposed to be immortal.'' 
 
 `` Peter, you have n't been reading the Bible again have you? How many times have I told you not to believe everything you read? Hell, omnipotence, omniscience - all baloney.'' 
 
 St Peter thumbed the key to the pearly gates nervously and looked down at his iPad. 
 
 `` It says here that you have a few sins in your past, my Lord. I'm sure its a mistake but-'' 
 
 `` Everyone sins,'' God said. `` Come on, out with them, man.'' 
 
 `` Well, there's a DWI from 25 B.C.'' 
 
 `` Youthful impetuousness,'' God said, with a fond smile. `` But the camel survived. Those were the days...'' 
 
 `` And it says you microwaved your pet hamster.'' 
 
 God shrugged. `` Hey, I wanted to know what would happen, OK?'' 
 
 Peter looked troubled. `` But which house do I put you in?'' 
 
 `` Well, the House of Mild Sinners is full,'' God said. `` I hear they're having to share beds. So how about the House of More Serious Trangressions? Besides, they have the best parties, and get the cutest babes.'' 
 
 A horrified St Peter tapped the iPad's screen, and one of the six doors opened. Disco lights and the sound of `` It's Raining Men'' spilled out. 
 
 `` Toodle-pip, Pete,'' God said. `` Lucifer's in charge now. Do n't let him work you too hard.'' 
 
 And he moonwalked through the door. 
 
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 *Ok, call me a pedant. You can read my other prompt misinterpretations at* /r/jd_rallage
