[ WP ] Around the world , the following message was heard : `` We would like to announce that Hell is finally empty . ''

The Lord of Hell rhythmically tapped the desktop as she pondered the mystery that has haunted Hell for past two centuries. The number of souls that dwelled within Hell was reaching zero, and the flow of souls to Hell had stopped. No current statistical interpretation could explain it; nobody in the entirety of Hell could explain it. It irked her greatly. 
 
 The last time she had been so baffled was when the number of souls damned per thousand had dropped in the nineteenth century, and stayed there.At first she had sought an explanation among the myriad of churches. Then she had realized that the change came from outside the church! It had taken a millennium, but it seemed that humanity was slowly creating its own code of ethics, rather than using the Lord of Heaven ’ s. Something she certainly would not have bet on. Had humanity had finally learned something from Job? 
 
 The population of Hell was strongly correlated to the population of Earth. This was an unshakable trend for millennia. There would always be sinners, no matter how hard the social reformers worked, due to free will. The only way to rid the world of sinners was to rid the world of free will, and to rid the world of free will was also a sin. The only thing that would change would be the characters sent to Hell. 
 
 And yet this was happening! She was infuriated that she had lost another bet to the Lord of Heaven. What was even more grating was that she had no idea how it had happened. 
 
 “ Your coffee, Mistress. ” Murmured a soft voice from behind. The imbecile should be grateful she didn ’ t vaporize him for having the audacity to enter her domain without knocking, but he was too useful to be killed, especially as there were few left in Hell. Instead she absentmindedly accepted the cup. 
 
 Coffee was one of the few items imported from Earth. The ingenuity of humanity lately was astonishing, compared to a millenium before.... 
 
 The cup fell to the floor, ignored as she had an epipheny. Could it be?! She rushed downstairs to meet the few souls in Hell that remained. 
 
 At the beginning, Hell was able to deal with the damned on a face-to-face basis. Her underlings made it a sport to figure out each soul ’ s psychology in order to administer the maximum amount of pain with the least of amount of effort. Hell in this era resembled the stereotype: chains, whips, and blood. Janitors were prized more than torturers in those days. 
 
 However, around the twentieth century the population of Earth exploded, and thus the population of Hell exploded. At first she had stuck with the old methods, creating a waiting list to enter Hell ( possibly the most evil thing she had ever done ) Soon she realized Soon she realized Hell would have to adapt or its job would never be done. 
 
 So Hell had automated suffering. Each soul received a small cell, and the environment was designed to make the inhabitant as miserable as possible. Loud noises for long-term sleep deprivation. Several varieties of pathogens, from severe nausea to fungi inhabiting the genitals. They were hung from the ceiling by their thumbs. They were nude. The worst was probably the perennial solitary confinement. Some of the mind games her underlings thought of disturbed even her. 
 
 For the first time in centuries there was a devil in the same room as a human. To the Lord of Hell ’ s amusement, he looked pleased to see another face. That pleasure didn ’ t last, as the only thing she did before leaving was tear an arm off. 
 Her hunch had been right. What had once been a being made of flesh, bone, and organs was now of metal, wires, and computers. She was torn between hysterical laughter and abject rage. 
 
 For now she knew why the flow of souls to Hell had ceased. The dichotomy of Heaven and Hell only existed as long as humanity was born from the Hand of God. As they were now of metal rather than dust, Hell no longer had a grip on their souls. 
 
 Humanity had found a way to opt out of the latest bet between God and Satan. Just as God had predicted. Dammit. 
 
 At least she had a way to get back at the bastard. 
 
 Around the world, the following message was heard: `` We would like to announce that Hell is finally empty. Congratulations Humanity, you have thwarted a game between Gods. `` 

