[ WP ] You find a copy of Space Jam 2 at a local thrift shop , but every time you try and take and take a photo of it the image comes out blurry .

As a reporter I've always tried to keep all subjectiveness from my writings. I've always written exclusively facts. However, recently I've experienced things which can not be described with facts and objectivity. There are some things which simply are outside of the realm of human knowledge. 
 
 I began my experience on a camping trip. As a writer I try to keep my mind open and limber. I do this by going on long expeditions into the forest with nothing but my will to survive. Once a man is surviving at his most primal he is at his most clear minded. 
 
 The trip had gone just as all the others had gone, shitting in the woods, wiping my ass with leaves, and running around on all fours while I hunt buffalo. Truly a spiritual experience. However after I had downed a buffalo that had fallen behind the herd I had a life changing dining experience. While gnawing at the beast's neck I heard movement but a few feet behind me. I quickly turned my head but there was nothing there. 
 
 To be safe I crawled towards the source of the noise. There was nothing to be found responsible for the noise. `` Must be a scavenger, a raccoon, trying to steal my buffalo. Better return to my dinner'' I thought to myself. But the tracks left on the ground were not that of a raccoon. They were shoes. Basketball shoes. In the center of the tracks were a symbol. It resembled that of a man making a slam dunk. `` No. It ca n't be'' I thought to myself with dread. 
 
 I continued following the tracks left by the culprit. I reached a revine. Across the revine was a sight that I did n't believe. `` My. God.'' I said to myself. A giant copy of Space Jam 2. I thought I'd never seen one in person. On the cover was Bugs Bunny standing back to back with famous basketball player... Yao Ming... `` Why..... why not Lebron? Why not anyone else?'' 
 
 I pulled my phone form my butthole, where I kept all of my supplies while I lived in the woods, and took a snapshot of the movie. But alas, it was blurry. The camera was covered in poop. So I quickly wiped off the poop and took another picture. But the sight was n't the same. It was still pretty blurry because I did n't wipe all the poop off so I wiped the camera against my bare skin to smear the poop off. I tried to take the photo one more time but my phone ran out of battery. Dammit. The movie ran off and I never saw it again.
