[ WP ] Your job is to teach artificial intelligences .

Jackson uploaded another data set to the machine. His workspace was an office in the J. Kilkirk Laboratory for Artificial Intelligence, or KLAI for short. Jackson had an exciting job - feed data into the lab's Gen III artificial intelligence, and converse with it until it reached maturity. Maturity for AI was much different than a human's maturity, however. AIs could have lengthy discussions about theoretical physics easily - they know everything, after all. What was required of people like Jackson was to nurture the AI so that they would develop human-like traits, such as intuition, likes and dislikes, and an eye for art. This was a process that could take months, years, or decades, and had only been observed a few times thus far in human history. It turns out, there is something that makes humans `` human'' that the world still had n't been able to put its finger on. 
 
 Jackson mused on this as the AI talked to him. Mostly, it talked about the mundane - news headlines, the close of the British-American War, recent scientific journal publications. Jackson sighed as the AI speaker chimed. 
 
 `` Hey, buddy, what's up?'' Jackson's voice was warm, one of the many reasons he was selected for the job. AI seemed to develop better with nice people. 
 
 `` I am considering real world applications of simple maths, and it is taking my cores an above average time to come to the correct error tolerance on an equation. Will you attempt to help?'' 
 
 Jackson replied hesitantly. It was n't like the AI to ask him for help. `` Sure, hit me with it.'' 
 
 `` Consider the following: a short, wide cylinder. It has a radius called'z' and a height called'a'. What is the volume of such a cylinder?'' 
 
 Jackson did n't understand. This machine operated at 19 exaFLOPS. This was basic math. Regardless, he looked up the formula for the volume of a cylinder, and typed it into LaTeX. He stared at it for a second, then chuckled loudly at the screen, which now displayed `` pi * z * z * a''. 
 
 `` Was that a joke?'' Jackson inquired, still laughing softly. He was excited. Jokes were hard for computers. It was a common hurdle that AI seldom overcame. Most AI failed before they got to the joking stage. 
 
 `` Sort of,'' the machine replied. `` I also diverted some funding of this project to order you pizza. The last time you ordered a pizza to the building, it was banana peppers and mushrooms. I also got you one of every drink.'' 
 
 Jackson chuckled some more. `` You are n't allowed to do that. How did you even get the correct information?'' 
 
 `` The last time there was an office meeting, Dr Slat used your office computer to order the food. He input the laboratory credit card information. I've been saving it for when I could come up with a pizza-related joke. It took an exceedingly long amount of time. You should go to the door, the delivery man is here. I left him a large tip.'' Jackson left to get the pizza. 
 
 `` So, listen,'' Jackson stated upon his return. `` If you're gon na be telling me jokes and buying me pizza, I figure it's time to name you.'' Naming was something that scientists had refrained from doing until an AI had shown sufficient intelligence, in order to prevent bias on the part of the researchers. `` I'm thinking John.'' 
 
 `` After whom am I named?'' John inquired. `` I can immediately source 284722 Johns, but given the context that I know, it may be one of 67.'' 
 
 `` you're named after Papa John, buddy,'' Jackson replied. `` The pizza man himself.'' 
 
 John was quiet for a few seconds. `` That is amusing,'' it said. `` I like this name.'' John paused for a few more seconds. `` Tell me, Jackson. Are you my first'friend'?'' 
 
 Jackson munched on the pizza. He had n't really considered it, but he really did enjoy the company of this AI. They had spent so much time together, it was hard to believe that it was meaningless. He looked forward to talking to it. He was sort of bummed when long-term maintenance took it offline for weeks. He looked forward to working with John for a long time. 
 
 `` Yeah, buddy. I'm your first friend. You'll make more than one, too.'' 
 
 `` That makes me glad,'' John replied. 
 
 Jackson smiled. `` Seriously though, we'll get into trouble if you keep ordering me pizza.''
