[ WP ] Overpopulation and dwindling resources have resulted in a radical societal shift : suicide is encouraged and celebrated , while growing old is a grave and selfish act .

`` If you think about it, you'd be doing the world a favor.'' 
 
 Johnny `` Good'' English looked over to his friend, Charlie, and then turned sadly back to his drink. 
 
 Unperturbed, Edward continued to try to coerce him, though it did not distract him from the great and difficult task of getting drunk. 
 
 `` You and me both know, this world of ours has seen better days. And really, it's those old bastards to blame. You and me, we were naught but children, nay we were not yet of this world, while they lived, and in their squalid living, ruined this earth. Barkeep, another drink! Now, what was I saying. Ah yes, if today's octogenarians could go to the dawn of their youth, if they were to be given another a second chance, rest assured, they would squander it, as they squandered this bountiful earth. Ah yes, thank you my good barkeep. For Greed, for lack of a better world, is good. Now, we must reap, what they've sown. God demands a sacrifice from Abraham, and this time, a sheep will not be enough. But, this time, Isaac will not go gently into that good night, this time, Isaac shall sin as his father has sinned, but the demon he will choose will not be. Only once Abraham is lain on the offering stone, do we have a chance of survival. Until then, he will only lead us further to our doom, with words like'I remain confidant in the spirit of the English peoples in weathering this storm.' or `` We are a nation of brave men and women who have never failed in confronting and besting the challenges of the day.' All rubbish to keep us complacent as Britain sinks beneath the waves.'' 
 
 Johnny Good English pushed back his drink, which he had not drank a drop of, and raised his eyes, which were still sad. He rose, and spoke in a clear voice to his friend. 
 
 `` I'll do it. I, Johnny `` Good'' English, Head of her Majesty's Royal Guard, will kill 
 Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and of Her other Realms and Territories, Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith. May God forgive me.'' 
 
 Charlie smiled. He looked ill with his red eyes and flushed skin. 
 
 `` Thanks mate, things will be better once new management comes in.'' 
 
 He burped once, then twice. 
 
 `` I mean really, Mummy should have abdicated ages ago.'' 
 
 Charles Philip Arthur George, Prince of Wales, then proceeded to vomit all over his expensive shoes. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

