[ TT ] You have a gift for talking to inanimate objects . Alongside many perks , it makes you an excellent thief ... but you only steal things that want to be stolen .

`` Do you want to come with me?'' I asked the gold-plated toaster. 
 `` Yes! It's very boring here and my owner is a total jerk anyway'' The toaster answered. 
 
 I was exited to finally possess such a needlessly luxurious item. The toaster was put in my big sack in one swift motion. Then I went from the kitchen to the living room. It looked weirdly normal. The guy that lived here had a lot of money so why would n't he buy himself a better bed? I know I would. As I looked around I noticed a closet that looked ordinary but one thing made it stand out: It was locked despite having no visible lock. 
 An ordinary thief might simply overlook it. A bad thief would break it open with brute force. But I used my talking skills. 
 
 `` Hey. Could you open yourself up please?'' I asked the closet. 
 `` No, stupid thief! My contents *are mine*. You will never gain access!'' The closet yelled at me. 
 `` Does anything in the closet want to come with me?'' I said in a louder voice. 
 Multiple faint `` Yes'' were becoming audible. 
 `` So that's how you want to play it huh?'' I said angrily. 
 `` Bring it!'' The closet said sternly. 
 
 I had to find a way to open this closet. Just as I wanted to start my interrogation I heart a car pull up. `` Damn'' I whispered to myself. I jumped out of the ground floor window which was quite a drop because the backyard was lower under this window. 
 Back home I unpacked my sack after changing into more comfortable clothes. ``'t is like christmas morn''' I said to myself merrily. 
 My toaster was sad that I brought a new one. `` Do n't worry! I'm still going to use you, old friend'' I reassured my old toaster. 
 `` I'm glad you're not going to throw me away Jason'' My old toaster said reliefed. 
 
 I tested the new gold-plated toaster with some white bread. The bread tasted good. But just as good as the old toaster's bread. It saddened me to think the new toaster was underwhelming because I knew he'd be very sad if he found out. For that reason I left the kitchen without a noise. I enjoyed my toast on the living room couch watching an old comedy movie. I went to bed at 3 a.m. and got a good night's sleep. 
 My bed woke me up at 11:30 a.m. She was a reliable alarm and definitely more comfortable than the bed of that bloke into whose house I broke in last night. I made my way to the kitchen to enjoy a tasty PB & J toast. I used both toasters hoping to have found a solution. *What a waste of energy*. I spent the day playing video games and napping. 
 
 Night time came and I prepared to break into the same house again. I quickly located to locked closet. 
 
 `` Open yourself up, closet!'' I said to the closet. 
 `` Never, foul thief. Begone!'' The closet yelled. 
 There had to be a switch, button or whatever to open the closet. 
 `` Do you know how to open the closet?'' I asked the bed but only got silence in return. I asked that question to multiple objects in the room. However, everything was silent. Then a muffled laughter came from the closet. As I turned around I feld a sudden pain in my face. 
 
 I woke up strapped to a chair. 
 `` Heard you were talking to my closet'' An unfamiliar voice said. 
 I looked around but could n't find the source of the talking. 
 `` Do I look like a lunatic? I do n't talk to closets'' I defended myself. 
 `` Yes you do look like a lunatic. And my closet told me you talked to it'' The voice said. 
 Damn thing ratted me out. `` You're crazy man. You should...'' 
 `` I'm not crazy you fuck'' The voice interrupted me, `` I know that some people have the ability to talk to objects.'' His voice grew angrier with every word. 
 A sharp pain rushed through my entire body and I lost orientation for a moment. `` What the fuck did you do to me?'' I yelled at the top of my lungs. 
 `` It's called *'Electroshock therapy'* and I use it to cure you'' 
 `` You sick bastard! Look I'll just give you your stuff back. Everything I stole you can have it back. Okay?'' 
 `` No no no no'' He said very fast, `` This is n't about that. It's about your ability. When I found out that I could talk to my possessions it was the greatest feeling I've ever felt. *I* was special. Then I found more people with the same ability. I *killed* them all. Every single one I could track down.'' He sounded like he felt superior. 
 Then the closet opened. A deep pit was inside of it. I felt the sharp pain again, longer than before. Suddenly the chair moved toward the pit and finally I was cast into it. The pain of landing was extreme. I could n't see anything, feel anything except for pain. Time ceased to exist. I felt myself starving and dehydrating. After an eternity the pain left. I was finally free. 
 
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 Thanks for reading! Come on over to /r/PrydeRage if you want more. 

