[ WP ] You go to gather the mail , and in it is a letter addressed to your dog . You open it and its a letter asking for an update on the assassination contract to kill you .

`` Peter, I have a short but interesting story. I was checking my mail and found a letter to my dog asking about my assassination contract. Did n't take long for me to end up here...'' 
 
 *** 
 
 `` What is this Sparky?'' He knew he was in trouble, tail between his legs, head hung low, and a small whine. Just like when I busted him getting into the trash can last week. `` Sparky, this makes no sense!'' 
 
 With a jump Sparky ran into the kitchen and I could hear him getting into something. As I was about to get out of my reclining chair I could hear his nails clickety clacketing on the kitchen floor coming back to the living room. 
 
 He had in his mouth a potato! I have no potatoes though, how odd. He then sat down and looked at me with those cute adorable eyes. I decided I did n't care if he was supposed to assassinate me or not, he was just too cute. I took the potato from his mouth and set it in my lap as I leaned forward to scratch Sparky behind the ears. Then the potato exploded, and that's where my story ends.
