[ WP ] You just discovered England 's biggest secret : every time they say long live the queen it extends the queens life .

How does one feel as one is rejuvenated? It feels, I would say, quite like being licked by a corgi puppy. Yes, it feels as if one is laying on one's bed in one's private chamber, with the morning's early light peering through the curtains, striking the oily portraits of Edward IV, George III and Victoria, until it stirs the corgi puppies from their respite and those tiny darling creatures hop right up on one's bed and lick one's hand or neck. It is quite a joyful feeling, and, dare I say, an invigorating feeling. I do not know there is any other feeling on earth that quite compares to it. 
 
 I confess I do not know quite for certain how it works, but nor do any of our top minds in the natural sciences or medicine or spirituality for that matter. I do suspect, however, that because the Queen of England is chosen by God himself, then for this reason, prayers in the name of the Queen of England are afforded great priority by the various angels and saints responsible for the effecting of prayer. So, when my subjects beseech that I live on and on and on, well, then I simply do. 
 
 Certainly I am not one to complain about being afforded such a grand gift as the hope of immortality. Mortality is itself a curse, indeed, but immortality is in its own way a curse as well, since one who is immortal will in no sense ever measure one's achievements. But the hope of immortality is a splendid compromise because each year that I persist is an achievement I have earned and curated and in which I can take immeasurable pride. 
 
 So, though I am not one to complain, I do wish that there was not the need for such subterfuge about it all. The daily routine of makeup and wigs is quite tiresome. Furthermore, a woman and queen such as I should not be forced to hide the youth and beauty of her countenance from her public. Though, I suppose it would be a cause of great alarm, were the people to see how I am not only alive, but perfectly preserved and vibrant. As I said, immortality with no costs is quite dreary, so I am gladdened by the challenge. 
 
 What I am not gladdened by, however, is some young cunt thinking she can come into my bleeding palace and snatch away my affection from my subjects. A few too many `` Long live Princess Diana's'' there were. A few too many indeed. So, she had to go. And go she did. Right buggered off. 
 
 I do so enjoy Katherine though. So lovely and so dear. I very much hope she minds her place in my monarchy and I very much hope my subjects do not become, dare I say, overzealous in their blessings upon her.
