[ WP ] A creature the size of an entire city is awakened . It 's playful .

*'' Who's a good boy? Yes, who's a good boy? Gooooooo... Fetch! `` * 
 
 `` Sometimes I'm glad I did n't make a bucket list. Being in the Earth's Special Forces makes for two things. For one, imagination is n't my strong suit and secondly, the things I get to do are way more awesome than anything I could have ever hoped for.'' 
 
 `` Take today for example. I'm sure you all know about the gigantic beastie that crawled from underneath Fukushima and started wagging it's tail at Mount Fugu.. Fuhu..Figo..er that big mountain thingy they have over there. The head scientists of the United States of Earth immediately identified the beast as a K-9.'' 
 
 `` That's right, a dog. One big-ass, city-levelling, radio-active son of a bitch. And I say son, because there is absolutely no doubt about the gender. My God, I hope the radiation fried his sex drive. Anyway, I bet you're wondering where I and the rest of my buddies on this recording come into play.'' 
 
 *'' Will you shut up already? `` * 
 
 `` No and fuck you, Dave, or I'll tell your mom you peed your pants.'' 
 
 *'' Fuck you too, Derek. I hope you bleed to death. `` * 
 
 `` Anywhoooo... The answer is fairly simple, we were among the biggest dog lovers the ESF had to offer. We were tasked to keep the creature busy while the scientists worked on a weapon powerful enough to down this pup.'' 
 
 `` We all felt it was a great mission, giving us the possibility to assess whether or not Dogzilla is a threat to society and if it could potentially be used in our intergalactic space race. I know, I know, who could find a helmet big enough for that monster... Well, it should n't be a concern, because our jobs almost done.'' 
 
 `` And the answer is most definitely: this dog is very dangerous. Speaking in the interest of mankind, it should be put down, but you know... Maybe it's time we let another race take a swing at ruling earth. And personally, I ca n't imagine a cuter overlord than a husky big enough to fill in the Grand Canyon.'' 
 
 *'' Are you fucking kidding me, Derek? Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth, or has the blood loss affected that too? `` * 
 
 `` No and I told you to shut up. That's it. YOU made me do this.'' 
 
 *'' Oh for fucks sake'' * 
 
 `` Dear Nancy Donavan, wife of Jeffrey South, mother of Dave South. It is with the greatest of sorrow that I must inform you your son's last action on this earth was peeing his pants. Like a little girl.'' 
 
 `` There, happy now, you fucking crybaby?'' 
 
 *'' I honestly hope you go to hell. `` * 
 
 `` See you there, buddy.'' 
 
 `` Ok, that aside, it seems like my time is running out. We tried to play fetch with the dog, but it got agitated and bit my legs and Dave's torso apart. I'm glad I do n't have a bucket list, because there would be so many things I had left to do... Well, that's a load of my mi...'' 
 
 -- -- -- 
 
 `` And that's the end of the message. What should we do, sir?'' 
 
 *'' Nuke it. `` * 
 
 `` What about the consequences for earth?'' 
 
 *'' There are other worlds. Let these failed experiments be buried in this one. * 
 
 `` As... As you wish, sir.''
