[ TT ] You have a gift for talking to inanimate objects . Alongside many perks , it makes you an excellent thief ... but you only steal things that want to be stolen .

`` Wake up Mr. Simian!! Wake Up!'' 
 
 I bolted upright.. what the? My military issue solar alarm clock said 4:39AM. Not again, I thought. Sleep had eluded me since my last mission. I rolled out of bed and pulled one of the window slats down. The moonlight reflected off the rain-slicked street, but there was no movement. 
 
 `` We are getting close! Get ready. We are here for the taking!'' 
 
 What the hell?! There it was again. This time it sounded like many different voices saying the same thing at one time. Ok. I decided to play ball. I thought the words `` Who are you and what do you want?'' 
 
 `` We can change lives! And we are many! We want to be used!'' 
 
 Again, I thought the words `` I am not sure what you mean. How can I help you?'' 
 
 `` At 5am human time we will be outside your apartment. Across the street in fact! You will have a chance to let us change a life.'' 
 
 I went to my window and opened the blind. Still, nothing moved. Through the misty rain I could make out the dimly orange sign of Mama Lucia's Bakery. There was one light inside of Jasper's Hardware, and Chase Bank was completely dark. 
 
 `` Stand under the orange sign and you will see. Our driver is not long for this world.'' 
 
 Excitement rippled through me. I am either developing Schizophrenia, or, something big is about to happen. I slipped on my dark Under Armour sweatpants, t-shirt, my shoulder holster with a loaded Glock 9mm, and then a dirty sweatshirt from my hamper. I glanced at the clock and it was 4:55am. Running toward the front door, I briefly reconsidered, but thought what the hell? Maybe something good can happen in my life. 
 
 The air was cool and wet and it felt good to get out of the over air-conditioned apartment. I sprinted towards Mama Lucia's being careful to stay in the shadows. The orange sign hung over a narrow alley way between Chase Bank and the Bakery. I lodged myself into the alley and crouched in the darkness. Crap, I forgot my watch. 
 
 Just then, two headlights turned onto Main street and headed straight toward me. I instinctively faded deeper into the alley. An armored truck slowly passed me and came to a stop outside Chase Bank about 20 feet in front of my position. 
 
 `` We are here Mr. Simian! We are life changers!'' said many voices. 
 
 Oh my God! Is the money in the truck actually talking to me? I could n't believe it. `` But how will I get you? There is an armed guard.'' I thought-spoke. The guard was a big man and obviously wearing a bullet-proof vest under his neatly pressed shirt. He was making his way to the back of the truck. 
 
 `` You will see. You will see!'' 
 
 The guard slipped an over-sized key ring off his belt and began opening the large armored double doors at the rear of the truck. My heart raced and I noticed the guard oddly paused for a minute. He looked from side to side, seeming bewildered for a brief moment. He shook his head as if shaking off a bad thought, and then grabbed two large canvas bags from the bed of the truck. The guard took about 7 steps, stumbled, dropped both bags and then slumped to the ground. Nothing moved. I looked inside the bank and it was still completely dark. No employees had arrived. This was my shot. But what about the guard? The image of my own daughter's face flashed in my head. He could be someone's father. 
 
 I sprinted toward the bags, pulled open a drawstring and saw numerous stacks of $ 100 bills. 
 
 `` Mr. Simian! Over here!'' the voices said coming from somewhere near the guard. 
 
 I dropped the bag and ran over to the guard. He was out cold and his arms and legs were trembling slightly. He was definitely having a seizure. I looked around, but the streets were still silent and very dark. The mist was so thick that I could only see about 50 feet. 
 
 `` Use us Mr. Simian. This man's family is not to go through the suffering that comes with this form of brain cancer. You must kill him. We can do it with your help.'' 
 
 What? The words were definitely coming from the guard's holstered handgun! 
 
 `` Let this man leave this life as a hero, and, change your own life as well with the money Mr. Simian. Use us. Pull the trigger. No one will see. The mist will protect you.'' 
 
 The bullets. The bullets in the guard's handgun were talking to me. I slowly pulled the handgun from the guard's holster. Do n't do this. Do not do this. Do NOT do this. I sighed heavily and then aimed at the man's forehead... the Father of children... the husband of a woman... 

