[ WP ] The hero beats the villain by stooping even lower .

As I was taking my morning washroom visit beyond the palatial playroom, and as on this particular day I was moreso inclined to give into my eavesdropping nature, I peeked in upon The Idiot to see what, if anything, he was doing, for I could hear him loudly honking and twittering within. I did so betting with myself that he'd be up to nonsense most repugnant. 
 
 He was. Fat and giggling he sat, his hammy fists crashing priceless ivory giraffes and elephants into one another and making loud bleating noises with his ever disgusting, ignorant lips, a rime of spittle coating their pasty, slug-like corpses. Those lips which I knew would cause death borne of fecund stupidity in mere weeks if I did n't intervene soon. 
 
 Inbred, that's what he was, and his spoiled rotten daughter with her tiger pet, daily miserying on the withering hot flagstones and panting loudly whenever the grass was n't being watered often enough for his expensive tastes. 
 
 While beggars on the street threaten to rise up and overwhelm the palace, and I, his grand vizier, working overlong days for YEARS to keep the rabble in place, the merchants properly taxed and the palace police funded... THIS CITY, a HUB of HUMAN CIVILIZATION, would have FALLEN to the desert *years* ago if not for my influence, I thought. 
 
 And it was finally over. 
 
 I shivered a little and enjoyed the sight of the fat man in his mindless play. I savored the moment as one would a fine wine or meal or concubine. 
 
 I wish now I had n't. 
 
 As I stood there snooping unbecomingly I reached down to my sachel and patted it. Fifteen years of research, and today the djinn of the desert would grant me my three heart's desires. One last look at the fat man. One last look before I headed to my laboratory to recite the incantation that would finally remove this despot... this disgusting leech on society. 
 
 For a moment my hand quavered with guilt. Once again I had to consider what cost to my soul this fragile plot had incurred. Not the least reason being the youth I'd pushed into the forbidden cave last night, surely to his unfortunate doom, I recounted my sins to myself, then hefted on the cord tying my carrysack to my belt, hefting the weight of the lamp as if to judge my decision by merchant's measure. 
 
 I decided, as I always did, to let the outcome be the measure and history the judge of my actions. It was n't hard for me to do; the despot planned yet higher taxes soon, and the people were starving. Bad enough he used a third of the water of the city for his lawns and animals. Bad enough he played and had the mentality of a child. Bad enough the priests of the palace and temple obeyed his words as if from a diety, howevermay they wreak havoc on their charges. He planned the utter destruction of his own kingdom through willful ignorance, for as his vizier I'd used all of my courtly powers to try to convince The Fool not to raise taxes yet again for the frivolous purpose of finding a prince for his daughter to marry. 
 
 You can understand now, I think, why I savored this moment, for I had found the answer at last! 
 
 But when I had shook the bag by the cable I felt something clink and, knowing the design of the lamp within, wondered what could be in the bag with the lamp. I opened it, revealing a heavy wooden shoe. 
 
 No lamp. The wastrel! The realizations staggered me and I fell onto my backside on the cold marble, my legs feeling made of the same. 
 
 And The Fool, the fat man whose dictations rob us by degree of culture and economy for the pleasure of his endless flesh, heard me fall and offered me a hand up, asking why I lurked outside the door! Can you imagine. 
 
 That was the last time I felt hopeful; my final vision while having any happy memory was of me standing there in my bathrobes, a shoe in my sachel, staring at a being I loathe, his fat lips coated with spit. Tonight I feel I may be going mad. 
 
 The thief boy's coming back again tonight, his djinn, his enslaved and besotted princess who has never seen a male other than myself and her father, his filthy monkey... and the Sultan, lothe as I am to attribute His Fatness such moniker, whom the beggar thief has told that he is a great prince! she'll be there, and The Fat Fool will with him bring his awful lips, to utter my death or worse at a thief's behest because the djinn has so enamored him. The djinn, though. No telling what changes I am unawares of already. I am already defeated. My only hope is attack. I've already contacted a shade and agreed to the terms of a pact. My soul is a fair trade to save Agrabah! 
 
 I've done evil things, that's true, but I would never take advantage of an innocent girl to steal a kingdom I knew nothing about running. 
 
 Agrabah is doomed if I fall. Give me power, serpent devil! Selah!
