[ EU ] In an alternate universe , Adventure Time is written by George R. R. Martin . Describe a typical episode .

Sunset found Finn shitting in the woods. 
 He was squatting over a chocolate river, beads of sweat adorning his constipated lips as he labored over the turd. 
 `` Fiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnn!'' 
 Fuck, it was Jake. There was something off about that guy. What was his deal anyway? Was he 30 years old or 7? 
 `` Yeah man. Trying to shit out this dire wolf.'' 
 `` Oof. Been there. Here, let me help you out.'' 
 With that, Jake began a painful metamorphosis. They make it seem instantaneous on TV, but in reality each transformation was an excruciating ordeal for Jake. His joints seemed to be yanked out of their sockets as Jake's skin stretched to take the form of an enema. 
 `` Uh, I'm done,'' Finn said, pulling up his jorts. 
 His new job as Regent to the Ice King started today. It was the most powerful position in the Kingdom, and after years of gratuitous sexual misadventures and superfluous bloodshed, it was finally his. 
 `` CAWCAWCAWCAW HYACINTH MACAW'' 
 A massive crow burst through the canopy, screeching as it bore down on Finn. He did n't even have time to reach for his Blackbane-forged sword when the crow plunged its beak into his left eye. He screamed and fell to the floor as blackness swept across his vision. The bird continued its assault, goring both Jake and Finn with its piercing talons. 
 Everyone died. Everyone. Even the dire wolf that had been killed, skinned, cooked, eaten, shat out. It died again. Cause that's how George RR Martin rolls, bitches. 
 
 Edit: https: //i.warosu.org/data/lit/img/0062/94/1426880801762.jpg This scene was my inspiration
