[ PI ] Stella - FirstChapter - 4109 Words

I definitely liked the plot of this story!! At first I was n't sure how Adina was going to tie into the fashion business plot, and I thought having Jacque be her husband was definitely a clever touch. I think you've set the stage for an interesting relationship/ corporate drama plot. Great job! 
 
 One thing you seemed to do a lot is show instead of tell. Especially in the beginning, I felt like you described a lot about Jonas, like what he was wearing, why he was in France, etc., without letting the reader determine those things on their own by showing them through dialogue or actions Jonas was taking. This is especially important towards the beginning of the chapter ( first impressions of Jonas / the writing style and whatnot. ) 
 
 Anyway, nice job! I definitely liked your plot idea and would be interested in reading more.
