[ WP ] Steve just came home from work only to discover that there is currently a thief in his house . He hears noises coming from the bathroom . He slowly sneaks to the door , opens it and sees the thief ... well , taking a dump . Make it funny .

Steve pushed open the broken door. It swung ajar with a long creak. He cringed because he was trying to be as quiet as possible. He crept into the house, sure to avoid all of the creaky floor boards because he wanted to catch the person that had broken in. As he began to walk towards the kitchen Steve heard a low groaning sound coming from upstairs. Being careful not to make any noise Steve began to climb the stairs. As he neared the top he noticed light seeping out of the crack in the bathroom door and walked closer. Steve then pushed the door open quickly and loudly in order to surprise whoever was in there. 
 
 “ WHO THE FU… ” Steve began to shout. “ What the…oh my…oh wow. ” 
 
 Steve wasn ’ t really sure what to be more surprised about, the horrible smell that filled his nostrils or the red faced man sitting on the toilet with his trousers around his ankles. 
 
 “ Oh no, I ‘ m so sorry! ” exclaimed the young criminal. 
 
 “ What on earth are you doing? ” asked Steve. 
 
 “ Well I came to steal some of your shit and now I ’ m kind of using your toilet man. Could you excuse me for a second while I finish up? ” 
 
 Steve couldn ’ t believe what he was hearing. This guy had broken into his house, had used his toilet to poo and then had the audacity to ask Steve 
 to leave while he finished wiping. 
 
 “ Do you think I ’ m some sort of pushover? Explain yourself. ” 
 
 “ Well, dude, I had Chipotle for lunch and it ’ s just gone straight through me so I thought that since I was here I ’ d use your toilet. ” 
 
 The young man squirmed on the toilet seat before Steve heard the unmistakable sound of a cascade of sloppy poo hitting the water. Steve ’ s face must have looked shocked because the man looked up and said “ Oh don ’ t worry dude, I ’ ll make sure I clean off the skiddies. I ’ ll flush and everything. ” 
 
 Steve ’ s mouth was hanging open in shock. He quickly closed it when he realised he was probably swallowing thousands of tiny poo particles. 
 
 “ I ’ m going to take a picture of you now, ” said Steve, talking to the would-be thief as if he was a small child, “ and if I ever see you here again I will not hesitate to put it online. ” 
 
 Steve pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of the man. His face was bright red although Steve was unsure if this was because the man was embarrassed or because he ’ d been straining so hard to empty his bowels. As he closed the door behind him Steve heard more low grumbling sounds and more poo plopping into the water. 

