[ WP ] Write about whatever you want , but use as many unnecessary adjectives as possible .

You may not have heard of me. That is because of the depressing gloomy sorrow of this unfair and cruel world. The sad and shameful fact that you have never heard my name is an acute disgrace to both yourself, and my immaculate self. 
 
 
 I am Paul King. In the exclusive circles of the un-uttered cliques, I am the greatest writer whom ever lived. My extraordinary work, known for its insightful-ness and pure, simple, brevity, as well as the lack of unseemly commas, is among the finest writing ever written. 
 
 
 My wonderful stories are varied, touching the heart, and dealing with such important and under-explored themes, including love, infatuation, affection and love. My great talents with the pen is effortless, often praised and full of witty witticisms. Such a wonderful author am I, that those who have read my illustrious work have become dumbfounded and speechless. 
 
 
 Many a friend who have had the fantastic privilege to read my enlightening work, have never spoken to me again. Many a friend have taken to silence and flight, not being able to handle the challenging, difficult and necessary themes my writing tackles. Yes, dear lucky reader, do n't you feel cheated having never read my work? Do n't you feel incomplete having never feasted your eyes on my beautiful and prosperous prose? 
 
 
 Well do n't be afraid. With the invention of this new and exciting technology, the second greatest invention of modern times ( second only to my writing ), the internet, you may become illuminated. You may become complete. 
 
 
 With this fortuitous internet, now my masterful work can be available at your fingertips. Such treasured and hard to find books including The Man Who Wrote A Masterpiece, Portrait of a Young Great and Extremely Talented Artist and The True Story: The Man Greater Than Shakespeare can all be yours. 
 
 
 Yes you lucky readers. Your benevolent scribe, Paul King, has chosen to edify you. For simply three payments of nineteen ninety-nine, you can be a closer to true nirvana, to true literature. How I feel so jealous of you. So act fast dear ignorant reader. These books are limited. Be part of the literature revolution today!
