[ WP ] you work at a dead end job . One day , you get promoted to manager . You are given an envelope by a man in a suit , and told that your salary will now be $ 3 million a year . Everything you need to know about your new position is in the envelope . You open the envelope ...


 The tan envelope was at least an inch thick, it laid heavy on the desk of your cubical as you stared at your monitor engrossed in your work. You had been on your way to work your 9-5 minimum wage job when the secretary had stopped you at the door and given you this Manila envelope with your name sharpied onto it. When you asked who had left it, he shrugged his shoulders, his tailored suit exaggerated the movement. He said it had been left on his desk yesterday but you had taken the day off so he had kept it for you. So you had assumed it was your new assignment; your boss had been waiting to put you on it too make sure you could handle it. About time he started trusting you, the bastard. Sometimes you just wanted to kill him so you would n't have to deal with him anymore. 
 When you reached your desk you pulled the thick stack of papers out and glanced over them. After the first page you snorted and rolled your eyes, shoving the papers back into the envelope and chucking it off to the side of your desk. It was nothing more than a joke. A fake assignment left by some unknown shitty jester. You noticed a small post-it on the bottom said'shall you choose to accept this assignment your payment shall be:...' The corner had been folded up do you could n't see the rest. you flipped down the edge hiding the no doubt childish punch line. `` 3 mil a year?'' Come ON, at least use a somewhat realistic number. These halfwit pranksters seriously needed to step up their game. 
 The envelope had then sat untouched on the back of your desk for around a week, it had been forgotten underneath a few other envelopes containing your real assignments, given to you the following day. As you reached the bottom of the stack, you reopened it on accident, thinking it a new assignment. You read the first page again and only when you reached the end did you remember last weeks whole prank thing. You almost threw it in the bin when you noticed there was still something in the envelope. You pulled it out and it was a quarter sized round black platform with a small silver switch on it. Curious you reread the'assignment': 
'To whom it may concern; 
 Blah blah blah, You have been analyzed by our specialists and we are pleased to inform you that you fit the requirements for a high position in blah blah blaaaaaah you have been selected based on your history.' 
 History in what, you wondered. Whatever, here is where it gets really sci-fi style cheesy. 
'It has been determined that you are the only one of our knowledge competent enough to blah this important blah blah, your task is simple; over the past hundred years we have been developing sensitive technology capable of transporting anyone a short amount of time into the past.' Wow how comedic. An 8 year old could write a better premise. How did they even type an inch of'instructions' for such a shitty cliché? Seriously, how overdone it the time traveler schtick? You skimmed about two more pages of'history' before finding what the hell the switch was. You guessed it must be the magic time traveler machine thing.'To complete this mission simply turn on the unit and flick the switch. Once completed, continue reading for further instruction on destruction of the target.' Called it. You guess destroying this target was the assignment. What a stupid joke. 
 You flipped the switch for the hell of it. Nothing happened, obviously. 
 You chucked the whole lot in the bin, continuing on your work. It was almost the end of the day and you needed to answer the wall of emails you had received. 
 Mid-email, you realized you had n't actually turned the switch on first like the assignment had said. It was stupid, you know, but you wanted to see what the switch did. It probably was an alarm or something. Ready to screech at you when you flicked it. 
 Out of intense curiosity you dug it all out and wiped off yesterday's muffin crumbs. Setting the papers on your lap you turned the switch over in your hands until you found the nigh invisible button on the side. You nudged it on with your nail and wondered why you were even doing this. You again flicked the switch and... Again, nothing happened. You glanced around the office, everything was perfectly normal. What were you even expecting? 
 Your watch beeps suddenly, telling you it's time to go home, so you get up, shoving the assignment and switch into your messenger bag. On your way out the secretary catches your eye, not because he was doing anything odd, but he had been wearing the brightest neon yellow scarf this morning. It had made you want to throw up and you wished someone would strangle him with it. Noticing the scarf had made you remember his outfit, and he had definitely ( thank god ) changed clothes. 
 You asked if he had spilled something on his clothes and he confusedly said he had n't. He asked why you were here, was n't it your day off? You laughed. `` I just took a day off. You laughed.'' The secretary looked even more confused. He assures you today, Tuesday, was your day off. You tell him that was over a week ago and that it was n't Tuesday, it was Wednesday. He starts to say something else but you realize this must be phase 2 of the time traveling 3 million dollar job prank.'Hey let's all pretend it's last week so we can play a dumb prank' how moronic. Everyone could just leave you alone or go die in a hole. The secretary was n't done talking but you left without a word anyway. Serves him right. 
 You always walk home from work and everyday, halfway to your apartment, you stop and buy a paper. You greet the newsstand owner as you do everyday and continue with the paper under your arm. After another block you pull it out at a stoplight and read the headlines. You notice you had received last weeks paper. 
 Nope. 
 Someone had officially taken this prank waaaaay too far. You were done. Seeking affirmation you stop a completely random passerby and ask them what day it is. Tuesday, they say. 
 Goddam it. 
 You kind of start doubting yourself a little and sort of freak out. Only a little bit though. Time travel is completely fake and is n't real, you tell yourself. If it is real ( which it is n't ) you would see yourself in your apartment in just a minute, you rationalized. 
 You rushed the last block home and raced up the stairs, slowing down as you neared your apartment. Your heart thuds and you crouch low, creeping slowly towards the window. 
 Edit: ( continued ) 
 You slowly raise your head to peer into your apartment window. You ca n't see anything. Obviously. Like you had said; Time travel is completely fake and is n't real. You were about to stand up when something inside moved. The bathroom door opened and... You stepped out? Okay this was not happening, you were n't going to deal with this. You turned on your heels and headed straight back down the stairs towards the local pub. 
 Once there, drink in hand, you faced what had just occurred. You had definitely just seen... yourself. Meaning this stupid time travel prank had the potential of actually being not a prank. It was just so hard to believe the time traveler schtick was actually happening, of all the overused clichés possible. 
 Not knowing what to do, you pulled out the envelope again and read it for a third time.'The assignment if you wish to accept it involves going back in time one week ( estimated ) and eliminating a future mass murder before he has the chance to become such.' 
 Of all the cheesy plots, this was definitely the worst. You kept reading anyway.'The target in question in to be eliminated in their sleep; address is listed on page ten. Once objective is complete, lie low for one week before receiving payment by postage.' Okay you were n't going to kill someone for money you did n't even know exited. You shoved it back into your bag and had a few more drinks, debating what to do. After a few hours it was starting to get dark out. 
 Your judgment was impaired so You decided what the hell, let's go kill someone. A bit of a shitty excuse, but what the hell. You found page 10 and tried focusing on the words. You found the address by skimming. It took you a minute to figure out why the address was familiar when you realized it was your own address.
