[ WP ] There are rituals that summon demons . Why are there no rituals that summon angels ?

I was a master summoner. I not only summoned demons, I pulled from realms that you ca n't even imagine. I simply had a thought one day. I've summoned daemons ( from the old Greek ), I've talked to the dead, you name it, I've summoned it. Anything from the frost giants of Jotunhiem to the the least significant spirits of eastern religions. I've even visited Asgard on a few occasions. 
 
 I, however, have never summoned an angel. I eventually became hellbent on summoning one. The issue arose when I learned that no one in history has called an angel. This was troubling. This meant I had to figure it out myself. 
 
 The first thing I went and got was a dove. Seemed fitting at the time. Then I got the chalk. I called forth the decahedron cage for the dove and put it inside after drawing a wing in the summoners circle. I lit the candles and began to chant in Hebrew. 
 
 At this point you may be thinking that Latin should have been used. I choose to use Hebrew instead of Latin due to the fact that the Jewish people were the first to record their interactions with the angels of god. 
 
 Fundamentally, it was the same chant that was used to summon a daemon, but backwards. Technically speaking it was forwards. You would also replace daemon with angel in the chant. 
 
 When finished, I was met with a beauty unlike any I had ever seen. 
 
 `` Hello summoner,'' she said sweetly with a British accent, `` what can we assist you with'' 
 
 `` I have questions.'' I stated simply in English. 
 
 `` Ask away then'' she said. 
 
 `` Why Am I the first to summon you before'' 
 
 `` Your the first to use Hebrew to try and summon us.'' 
 
 `` Why do you not intervene anymore?'' 
 
 `` We found Reddit. We became addicted and stopped listening. Funnily enough, Reddit was created by mortals like yourself. `` 
 
 `` Let me get this straight, you stopped interacting with the earth because of Reddit? Then how'd you answer'' 
 
 `` I'm sorry, but your time is up, this automated angel broadcast was beamed into your head by the AATN or the Automated Angel Transmission Network. Thank you for your questions. Now we really must be getting back to Reddit.'' 
 
 And that is how I learned that angels are Reddit addicts, just like you and me, and this is why they've never answer their summons. 
 

