[ WP ] A story where the protagonist is a pretty decent individual by most accounts , but is DESPISED by the narrator .

This is the story of Steve. Steve is a 32-year old Canadian IT admin for an office of a regional company in Alberta. Steve is the father of two children, one boy, Tom and a girl, Lucy. Steve is a complete and utter fuckwad who deserves to get shot in the nuts. Steve's day starts when his alarm clock wakes him up, and like an asshole he gets out of bed to get breakfast, his wife, who is naturally way out of his league is making bacon pancakes, which is, of course, Steve's favorite breakfast. It's a Friday, but like the utter git that he is, his working day begins at 09:30 in the morning. His son and daughter, both so unlucky to be genetically related to Steve, are off to school. Like the total fuckhead that he is, he goes up and hugs them as a farewell. What a total fuckhead. At least they get to not be together with such a shit for much of the rest of their day, as their mother, Stacy, who really should get herself a better husband, is taking them to hockey training after school. 
 
 Steve's breakfast sadly does n't choke him to death and regrettably he does n't slip and break his ugly fucking neck while he is biking to work, something he, like a huge jerk, is doing because it's good for his health. Yeah, live longer asshole, not like we're all hoping for your imminent death or anything. When he gets to work, there are unfortunately no real issues for him to deal with, so like a complete and utter twat he starts fixing some of the long-term issues with the company's internal programs, which he of course made himself like a piss-stain upon that company's IT infrastructure. When it's time for lunch, he gets a sad salad like a stupid fucker, and when one of the coworkers ask him about he yammers like an idiot and says''*Well, I'm trying to eat less meat, you know, to preserve the environment and because a lot of animals have bad living conditions. *'' Who is he kidding with that junk? Obviously the coworkers are tired of listening to his pseudo-hippie crap and start talking about sports. Steve is a fan of football, or soccer, as a sport more than a team, like the dirty boob he is, but he says that he always prefer multi-national sport so he can cheer on Canada like the trash he is. 
 
 After lunch a printer has IP-problems and of course Steve just waltz right in there and asks if he can help, which he does and fixes it right away, god, how can anyone stand someone so self-righteous and disgusting? God, I just hate him! Anyway, once he gets back to the server room, he naturally finds his boss there with a laptop, its got connection problems, and what do you know, Steve fixes it right up. And of course, like the smelly half-skunk half-rat he is, he gets thanks and the boss just happens to ask if Steve wants four tickets to a regional football game, and like the total tosser he is, Steve accepts and thanks the boss like a servile little wage-slave! God, Steve get your act together! Or better yet, that''manager'' should just sock him, right in the kisser! 
 
 So after that day that went way too fucking great for Steve, he goes home, and waits for the kids and the wife to come home. Steve reads a book just as boring and annoying as he is while he waits. Hopefully his family do n't return so he can get sad enough to hang himself, but against all hopes they return. Fuck. And of course, the team his kids were on won the game and got fucking medals, and he is just sooo goddamn proud of them and takes them out to celebrate like every other soulless workerdrone of the capitalist regime that encourages fuckers like him to breed. So like a total nitwit he takes them out to get pizza, but it has to be good healthy pizza and all that fucking crap that he preaches about, and oh how good it is for them to be so blessed and junk. What an ass. 
 
 After they get home he sends his kids to bed and of course, he fucking reads them to bed, and of course he reads some copy-pasted-hallmark sugar-sweet harmless book with nothing interesting in it, slowly making his poor kids just as worthlessly stupid as he is. And his wife is of course interested in him, again, good grief woman, stop feeling sorry for him and dump him, into a ditch preferably. But nooo, Steve and his wife makes love and of course that pencil-dicked fuck has a good time. After that, they both clean up, go to bed early and kiss each other good night. Ugh, gross, she kissed Steve. And that, was the story of Steve. If you see him, punch him in the jaw.
