[ WP ] A magical mirror shows your reflection and your future soulmate . You only see your reflection .

Goddamn, I have a beautiful jawline. I mean, yeah, most other guys have the bit of an angle to theirs, or even cutesy baby fat, but mine is perfectly square: no stubble ( shaved ), no acne scars ( genetics, maybe? ), only smooth, creamy skin. Writers might call it alabaster, or milky, or -- okay, either way: I'm a bit of a babe. Why girls are n't flocking to me, or swooning at my glance or whatever, I do n't know -- I 
 mean, plenty of chicks try and get at me, do n't get me wrong: just, not all of them. I get it, though, some are dykes. That's okay, to each their own, you know? 
 
... What was I talking about? 
 
 Oh, yeah. Right. *So. * My friends or whatever have been all abuzz about this mirror, or something -- I dunno, they're a bit too into that romantic mumbo jumbo for my tastes. Anyway, they're all tripping over themselves to get to see their reflections ( which I get, but, like, I'm *right here* ) to see their `` soul mate.'' Absolute bullshit, right? So I'm watching them flip out about their reflections ( again, right here ), describing some man or woman of their dreams; except Angela, who went quiet, laughed, and told me she was gon na get it on with some fugly dude with a bit too much fatty tissue around the belly-and-thighs. Ew. Finally, of course, I was pushed up to the mirror, told to describe the lovely lady ( probably with huge tits, nice ass, tiny waste, perfect nails, good makeup: you know, the usual. ) 
 
 Instead, I see my own reflection. Do n't quite know what that means, but *man* am I a handsome devil.
