[ WP ] `` Like my dad says : 'Never trust a man who says he 's never shit himself . ' ''

Meghan, 
 
 It's time we had a serious conversation. *That* conversation. 
 
 We need to talk about a man's worth. Rich or poor, ai n't no man worth his salt who ca n't admit to shitting himself one time or another. Might be first thing in the morning -- man's takin' his piss and thinks to let one off. No big deal, right? Wrong. Wrong. He feels that warmth -- warmer than a fart has any right being and then he feels that hot running down his leg. 
 
 That's nothing, though. He's in the comfort of his own home and can jump right in the tub. 
 
 A man shits himself in public, well now, that'll show his measure. How he acts and how fast he reacts. If hes seen it coming, and he's got half a brain, he's wearing something rugged, like jeans and tight whites. The whites'll hold the shit in, and in case of a seep through, the jeans'll handle the rest. 
 
 I'm telling you this, sweet daughter, because a man who ca n't be honest with himself ca n't be honest with you. I love you and I want you to have the knowledge to confront this world and win. 
 
 So once you're nice and comfortable with your partner, and you're contemplating marriage, you need to ask him: 
 
 `` When's the last time you shat yourself?'' 
 
 - Dad.
