[ WP ] I won a bet . My friend has to read a poem in front of a live audience at a poetry reading tomorrow night . I get to write whatever I want for his poem . Help me write this poem .

I wet my pants today, alas,'t is true, 
 
 my trousers wetly cling with cooling greed. 
 
 I'll take no heed of wrinkle-noséd moue: 
 
 I wallow with delight in pants I've peed. 
 
 The warming gush down right and left leg streams, 
 
 relieving pent-up bladder urgency; 
 
 dark stains bloom down the length of both inseams, 
 
 I revel as I skirt emergency. 
 
 The urinal and toilet are my foe, 
 
 mere splashback moistens not my thirsty skin. 
 
 Instead I micturate with glee and go 
 
 awash with scent of popcorn sweet as sin. 
 
 My truest motive yet lies unconfessed: 
 
 it is the smell I truly love the best. 
 
 Edit: The best part is, you could make him dump water down his crotch before going onstage to make it look like he actually peed himself.
