[ TT ] Before the first men , there was a wheel of cheese ...

Come little one, I think it is time to tell you and your brothers a story. A story of the reason we are here. But also a warning, as stories we tell often hold. 
 
 Before time began there was nothing. With the advent of time, little bits of the ether began to clump together as they never been able to do without time. This led to a great build-up of matter. But this was not any matter such as earth or flesh, neigh. ‘ Twas an ethereal matter that in its nubile form that had never contacted other matter, even of its own kind. 
 
 This build up soon reached a point where the milk of the universe could not support its own weight. Thus it curdled into a new form. As nature is perfect, and the perfect form is a circle: it formed the Sacred Wheel of Cheese. 
 
 Aye, a truly beautiful spectacle to behold if there had been eyes to see it with. When the stars were born of the wafting wondrous odor, the world of its flawless rind: all was right. 
 
 But then from somewhere in the darkness they came. Make of the same blackness that was not shone in the light of the Cheese, crows and ravens. They slashed and hacked at the noble Fromage, only to be rebuffed by the glorious inhabitants of the rind. Their feathers, purified by the Cheese ’ s curds, fell to the rind to make the continents, and their life-sauce made from the colourless and black became the seas and oceans. 
 
 Yes I know that they ’ re blue… Stop punching your brother… No, I am not making this up… 
 
 The reason all of the water is blue is because the Cheese had a secret. It formed like a raindrop, a raindrop is not all water. It starts from one of the smallest specks of dust then as water comes to it, it can become larger. 
 
 So, what was it that the glorious Cheese formed around? A blue gem. There are no stories of where it came from or if someone put it there, but we know that it was there. 
 
 When those ravagers saw it, they fell upon it with more gusto than they had to the cheese. This was their undoing, as the stone began to shake and shiver it drew those terrible beasts near to it. Then as a final gift to the world, the stone tore itself to pieces in a flash of energy and light. Those shadow creatures were destroyed along with the gem, spreading its blue essence to our sky and water. 
 
 The cheese was scattered everywhere, landing on our humble rind, in the grim void. But one large piece stayed with us as a companion. Still if you look up, you can see its battle scars. 
 
 I have carried this story for many years, children, now I must warn you. Do not believe the vendors when they tell stories of how their suppliers retrieved the cheese from a grand old cow. All cheese is descended from the Cheese, and the supplier hacks away in mines where the cheese came to rest all those aeons ago. 
 
 So children do you think that we should waste this cheese? Of course not! 
 
 This children is why you are gifted with a half-gram of cheese a week.
