[ WP ] A roman generals thoughts/mindset after he fled the field of battle and left his men to die

His heart still pounded from the adrenaline of battle and his bones still shook in time to the marching of a thousand men. His throat burned after the confident shout of commands, but his ears rang with the terrified screams of men that proved his commands were worthless. 
 
 They would not win. It was not their fate. Perhaps for a better commander, a stronger wall, more troops... 
 
 He envisioned the soldiers he commanded less than an hour ago. They would all die, he knew that. In the middle of battle it is easy to believe the unexpected will turn the fates of war in your favor, but now, isolated and thinking clearly, it was obvious that they could not have won. But perhaps they could have held the lines a little longer, foreseen the cavalry charge to the left flank a little sooner... but, no. 
 
 An experienced soldier, the sight of a losing army was not foreign to him. There was a hill nearby the battlefield, and he could picture the soldiers running reform their broken lines on the hill, surrounded by enemies, but standing in their lines for the last time, a final stand. But this time it was not his place to pursue them. It was not his armies place to kill. 
 
 They were brave, yes, and will die heroes. Their families will weep, but their names will be celebrated. 
 
 He turned his horse and looked back once more as the sun slowly set in front of him. He would have to ride through the night to escape the enemies that would now run through the land that was once his. He could see smoke rising already, as they burned the villages. 
 
 Soldiers are brave, he thought as he turned back and kicked the horse into a quick trot. Brave and foolish.
