[ WP ] DNA has been extracted from the Shroud of Turin and Jesus has been cloned . The host mother is 8 months pregnant with a healthy baby boy . The world is in an uproar ...

It was 11am on a Saturday when Jane's water broke, luckily she had been kept in a controlled environment to insure there were no complications in the cloning of Jesus. specialists scuttled around her nervously as she would be giving birth prematurely; tension was only worsened by thousands of fanatics that protested `` playing god with god'' all down the streets of the once quiet rural hospital. To recreate the perfect mother to bear Jesus, the church had DNA tested thousands of hopeful candidates. Jane was everything they needed. White, virgin, went to church every Sunday, and even fed the homeless every second Saturday. Doctors prepared for birth as the time between contractions lessened. With one final push dilation was finally reached. Everyone was silent in the room aside from the doctor who delivered, `` wh..what?'' He wimpered, breaking everyone's horror, aside from the pope, he still stood as if he had been turned to stone. Finally, With the look of gods wrath in his eyes, the pope cried to the gods he once knew, `` Jesus was a Mexican!?''
