[ WP ] A Probably Really Onerous ( Maybe Problematic ) Trial !

* ( I see what you did there in that title, by the way ) * 
 
 
 Sixty-three people have been murdered this week. People will continue to die at the hands of this evasive, deranged lunatic. Over 250 million dollars of property damage has been recorded since April, never mind the incalculable human cost. Neglecting my sworn duty to protect and serve the people, I am ashamed not to have apprehended this psychopath yet. Gore, butcher knives, and freshly-dismembered bodies appear daily in the public plaza. Enough is enough! 
 
 By this time tomorrow, we will capture the perpetrator of these soulless crimes against humanity. Only we know the identity of this villain, and in the interest of public safety I am keeping this a secret within the police squad. Beginning tomorrow, the blood will stop running in the streets. 
 
 Sadistic fury has caused a monster to be unleashed upon our quiet town. Quiet though it may be, our town will not go down without a fight! Understand that this will not be easy, it will not be quick, and it will not be glorified. Are you ready, gentlemen? Reload your weapons and always carry more than enough ammunition. Empty the clip into the bastard if you need to; just make sure you kill him when you find him. Please make sure you keep your radio transceiver on the “ open ” frequency at all times. And as always, don ’ t be fooled by his cute or harmless appearance. Not a single man worth his weight and life has forgotten this important point. Tomorrow, you engage yourselves against a horrific killing machine, the likes of which mankind has never before fathomed. Soon, God willing, it will all be over! 

