[ OT ] Writing Workshop # 23 : Natural Dialogue

Namon did n't believe him. With even with what the dolt had described right in front of him, Namon still did n't believe him. 
 
 `` How do yer still not believe me?! The tree's drippin' magic from'is fingers! We're gunna be rich!'' 
 
 By all accounts, none of what was just said made a lick of sense. First, trees had branches, not fingers. Second, magic is n't something you can bottle up and sell like this red liquid which seemed to trickle out of thin air. And third, making the last two points redundant; this was no tree. This was the bonespire, that had sat inert outside of their village for longer than anyone could remember. Of course, explaining any one of these points would dissuade one as logic-retardant as his good friend Den. 
 
 Namon rubbed his temples like treasure was buried there. 
 
 ``... Ok, take me from the top. When did the `` magic'' first start... flowing?'' He asked, as his gaze fell to the putrid puddle forming at the base of the twisted white mound. 
 
 Den puffed out his chest and a big, obnoxious grin spread across his face like smallpox. `` Well, yer know how dis' tree has bin dead'fore anywan-'' 
 
 `` Any-one.'' 
 
 `` Aight, any-*one*,'' Den tutted, `` even'members?'' 
 
 `` It has to have been alive before it can be de-'' 
 
 `` WELL,'' He boomed, `` it accured to me, that nowan-'' 
 
 `` No-*one*.'' 
 
 `` Aight, aight. No-*ONE*, ever taught ta water it.'' 
 
 ``... A dead tree does n't come back alive with a little bit of moisture Den.'' 
 
 `` Well dis' one does. An' it's makin' magic fer us, just me ol' gran used ter make! We'll bottle it, and sell it, and well be-'' 
 
 `` We'll be.'' 
 
 `` Wheel be rich!'' 
 
 Namon paused as he considered what Den could possibly mean by a magic his gran used to make, while Den took out a cluster of glass jars. `` Ok Den, I'm going to let you down gently.'' 
 
 `` Aight.'' He said, scooping a jar into the crimson custard. 
 
 `` This is n't a tree.'' 
 
 `` Aight.'' He said, scooping a second jar into the crimson custard. 
 
 `` This has never *been* a tree.'' 
 
 `` Aight.'' He said, dipping a finger into the crimson custard. 
 
 `` This is some macabre mound of alabaster rock on the edge of town.'' 
 
 Poised to stick God's-know-what into his mouth, Den frowned. `` Den why's it got'fingers?'' 
 
 `` Branches Den. You mean branches. And no, it does n't have them, it just *looks* like it does.'' 
 
 `` Eh?'' 
 
 `` It's just looks a tree, it's not really a tree.'' 
 
 `` Aight aight,'' he replied, reaching his own vastly different conclusion. 
 
 Namon's curiosity had quickly cocooned itself into a very angry butterfly. ``..Are you listening to a single thing I'm saying? *This is no tree. * It is *not* dripping'magic', and *do n't you dare stick that in your mouth when you have no idea what it is. *'' 
 
 Now Den really frowned. `` I'm not a compete-'' 
 
 `` Complete.'' 
 
 `` Complete idjit. Course I know what dis' stuff is.'' 
 
 Namon's frustration gave way to confusion. Which in turn gave way to thought, and in turn gave way to a lump at the bottom of his stomache. ``... What did you water the tree with?'' 
 
 ``'Snot a tree. Is a bone fing.'' He raised his eyebrows in a'see, I listen' motion. 
 
 Namon shook his head. `` Alright, alright, what did you water the bonespire with.'' 
 
 A more restrained grin came as a reply. `` Magic.'' 
 
 `` Like your gran used to make.'' 
 
 `` Ike my gran used'a make.'' 
 
 `` Alright.'' 
 
 `` Aight.'' 
 
 `` Your grans a doctor right?'' 
 
 `` Aight.'' 
 
 ``'Magic' is blood is n't it.'' 
 
 `` Magic is magic.'' 
 
 `` *Magic is blood is n't it*.'' 
 
 ``... Aight.'' 
 
 `` Did you think the tree would get better if you put some blood on it, just like people got better when they got some blood in them?'' 
 
 `` Aight.'' 
 
 Namon let slip a flabbergasted sigh and turned to face what once was a rock about the size of a shed, but had now grown to the size of a large house. With eyes. The blood rain had turned into a blood fountain. 
 
 For the first time in Namon's young life, he had had it with Den. 
 
 `` **... YOU IDIOTIC, INCOMPETENT, RETARDE-**''
