[ WP ] God watches from the heavens as humans learn more and more about all He created . He just wishes we would figure out that Easter egg He included .

OK, today is the day. 
 
 *Huh, What did you say dad? * 
 
 I said today is the day Jesus my boy. Today the primitive monkey man will find it. 
 
 *Oh for you's sake, not that again* 
 
 Yes! Today the monkey man will find the secret I left for them. 
 
 *I do n't think he's intelligent enough yet, this may be too early for them* 
 
 Nonsens, look! he's picking up a rock, building tools. He's intelligent, he'll see it! 
 
 *Annnnnnnnnd he hit himself on the head with the rock. * 
 
 Oh my... I think he's dead 
 
 *Definitly not ready. They'll get there dad, do n't worry. * 
 
 ******************* 
 
 Today. It's today I can feel it 
 
 *What? the secret? You're still going at this? * 
 
 Come Jesus, come! I let them evolve for another 5000 years. Now they must be ready. They will find it. 
 
 *Well they definitly appear more intelligent. Tools, farming, language. I'm not sure it's still enough but it's definitly better than last time* 
 
 Look, look! This one is digging the earth, searching for something. Curiosity my boy, curiosity will be their greatest strength. Surely this one will find the message. 
 
 *Are you sure he's digging a hole to search, looks more like a trap to me. He even added pointy sticks at the bottom* 
 
 I created them to my image, they are great thinkers, no mindless beast. He must be preparing a great surprise. 
 
 *Look, more men are coming, they're going towards the hole. * 
 
 *They fell in* 
 
 *Annnnnd he killed them* 
 
 Oh for me's sake. 
 
 *************************** 
 
 OK, round 3. This time they have to find it. They have to! 
 
 *Huh, busy killing themselves again I see. * 
 
 Oh will you stop with your yammering. They are doing fine. They are in my image. 
 
 *Wow... look at them go. Fiesty little buggers are n't they* 
 
 Oh Come on! How can they not find it, I left Moses a bunch if clues! 
 
 *You know I've been thinking, do you think maybe your secret is a little too well hidden for them? * 
 
 What? Proposterous! The Nezegarians found it in only 455 years. 
 
 *Dad, The nezegarians were a sentient collective you created on that red planet as a side project years ago. They were the smartest creatures in the galaxy, clearly they had a head start compared to your genocidal monkey man down there. Beside, you wiped them out the moment they found it* 
 
 Shut up! 
 
 Oh I know! You're going down there and helping them 
 
 *What? You want me to go down there with the murderous monkey man and help them cheat? * 
 
 No no! Not cheat, encourage them, gently push them in the right directions. Here I'll give you some instructions and prayers. Tell them to study them carefully. I mean short of actually showing them the secret it's the most I can do 
 
 *I ca n't believe you're making me do this. * 
 
 Oh relax, you'll be fine. In my image remember, they'll love you 
 
 *I super hate you* 
 
 ************** 
 
 Come on, find it, find it, FIND IT DAMMIT! 
 
 *They still have n't found it? * 
 
 No.... I'm beginning to lose patiente. Are you sure you relayed them my instructions? Maybe you gave them out wrong. 
 
 *Hey, I spent 33 horrible years living amongst your murderous monkeys! * 
 
 Man, they're called man. In my image remember. 
 
 *Murderous monkeys! * 
 
 Oh come'on. It was n't that bad. Look how far they've come since your visit. Worldwide culture, technological and health progress, space exploration. There is so much science down there they're probably seconds away from finding it. 
 
 *I do n't care! They're murderous idiotic monkeys to me. 33 bloody years and freaking holes in my hands. I'll never have a proper wank again because of your stupid secret and your stupid monkeys* 
 
 Ok fine... I *guess* I may have hidden it a little to well. But come on! You got ta admit it's cool. If you take the 3rd proton out of every 234 element molecules and line them up, they form a little bunny....how much more awesome can you get! 
 
 *Holes in my freaking hands!! You know what, screw you dad, I'm going to mom's. Your secret sucks by the way* 
 
 Uhhhhh. I'll never understand this kid. 
 
 Hey Satan! You think my secret is cool right? 
 
 **Hey do n't get me mix up in this, I told you to leave me alone after you banished me** 
 
 Whatever. I think it's cool.
