[ WP ] Humans have the opportunity to never feel sadness or pain again , but in order to do so must offer up a sacrifice : one person to become immortal and experience only misery for the rest of eternity .

`` Okay, so... just one person?'' asked Adam. 
 
 `` Yup. One person to suffer for everyone, ever. I must say, it's one of my more generous deals,'' Satan said. `` I guess I'm in a good mood because- well, you'll find out eventually.'' 
 
 `` What are the terms? Like, a'person' as defined as...?'' 
 
 `` Your human laws. Anyone who, by whatever government is in power over them, is classified as a human being.'' 
 
 `` Hmm... let me think about this...'' Adam said, reaching for his phone. 
 
 `` What are you doing?'' 
 
 `` Research... Okay, I'm ready. You sign first,'' Adam concluded, putting his phone back in his pocket. As the devil scrawled his signature across the parchment, Adam laughed. 
 
 `` Okay, what is it? You think you've found a loophole? Nice try, but I've got history's best lawyers down in Hell. There's no way you could possibly make this decision in good conscious without-'' 
 
 `` Wan na know who I picked?'' Adam taunted, signing his own name and sealing the contract. 
 
 `` Who?'' 
 
 `` Well, the government has recently ruled that androids now have full human rights, so I've picked one who does n't really mind too much being depressed all the time.'' 
 
 `` Wha- AN ANDROID??? BUT THAT'S... that's... damnit all to hell. FINE, who did you pick?'' 
 
 `` Marvin.''
