[ WP ] You were born with a large birthmark in the shape of a dragon . However , this is just a coincidence ; there is absolutely nothing magical about it , and you 're getting really tired of explaining this .

`` Woah buddy! When did you get that birthmark?'' 
 
 I was pulled violently from my thoughts to the current moment. It had been a long week, and I was at the bar just to sit and drink this time, not to socialize. `` Oh, haha that's a long story... Best save it for another time.'' 
 
 `` No worries, I got all day! I'm all ears buddy!'' He pressed. 
 
 `` Well, okay, I'll tell you if you buy me a beer.'' That should do it. He is n't that interested in the story. 
 
 `` Okay, sure no problem.. HEY YO! A DRINK FOR THIS GUY! ON ME!'' He chuckled. `` I just love this bar, do n't you? Anyways, back to the story! How'd you get it? It looks sick!'' 
 
 Well, I promised a story so I guess I have to deliver... `` Well it all began several years ago, back when I was in'Nam...'' 
 
 `` Uh huh'' 
 
 `` It was n't for the war, mind you. A good buddy of mine was getting married. Wait no... that's not a good place to start. Let's go back to Desert Storm. I hit rock bottom, living on the streets when I was younger.'' 
 
 `` Uh huh'' 
 
 `` I'll take a whiskey - on the rocks. Thanks. So yeah, it was a hard time. I was sitting at this corner with my sign. It said'Homeless. Selling weed to survive.''' 
 
 `` HAHA'' 
 
 `` Yeah I thought it was a pretty clever sign. Anyways, this old man came up to me, and started talking to me. He said that he was once in my shoes. He had been on the streets for months, and decided to join the military. It fixed him right up. So I began thinking, and what do you know, I ended up signing up for 4 years.'' 
 
 `` Wow...'' 
 
 `` Okay will you stop that? It's really weird. It's cool that you like my story and all, but it's really distracting!'' 
 
 `` Oh, okay. Sorry.'' 
 
 `` No, I'm sorry. I did n't mean to be rude. Now, where was I?'' 
 
 `` You enlisted.'' 
 
 `` Oh yes, enlisting. I'd rather not go into the details, but I met my buddy Watson there. We served together and always had each others backs, you know? So anyways, he got married to this chick in Thailand a few years back.'' 
 
 `` It was Vietnam.'' 
 
 `` Yeah, whatever. He got married to this chick in the Philippines, and I was invited. Now, you know how them Philippines have some weird religions and all, right? Now, I'm a good atheist boy, but that's where I really found God, you know?'' 
 
 `` Ah was it a real meditative thing? That happens at weddings sometimes.'' 
 
 `` No, not at all. It was actually a few days before the wedding. We had a big bachelors party, you know? A last huzzah to the good old days. We had some ladyboy hookers and all. Now, I do n't know those Chinese drinks they have there, but I'm a pretty good drinker so I was n't worried. Now, this was a stag party, so there was plenty of booze and drugs and all, and I got mad cross-faded, you know?'' 
 
 `` Yeah.'' 
 
 `` No you do n't. Not like this. I do n't know what was in those drinks, but there was some awakening going on, if you know what I mean.'' 
 
 `` You hooked up with a ladyboy?'' 
 
 `` No no no, a spiritual type. I talked to God.'' 
 
 `` You lost me.'' 
 
 `` Okay let me step back and summarize. I got cross-faded. I talked to God. You caught up now?'' 
 
 `` I think so.'' 
 
 `` Okay. Now God is a dragon.'' 
 
 `` Lost me again.'' 
 
 `` God is a dragon.'' 
 
 `` Did n't help.'' 
 
 `` Just go with it. He looks just like the mark on my shoulder.'' 
 
 `` Ohh... that's a dragon!'' 
 
 `` Yes... It is...'' 
 
 `` So keep going. You talked to the dragon god?'' 
 
 `` Yeah, and he told me to go wash my face in the river, and so I did.'' 
 
 `` And?'' 
 
 `` I have no idea. I ca n't remember the rest. But I woke up with this sick mark on my arm!'' 
 
 `` HA. Classic. I knew there was a good story behind it. There always is. And you did n't want to tell me at first.'' 
 
 `` Actually I made that all up. I got it when I was born.'' 
 
 `` Are you joking?'' 
 
 `` No, that's how birthmarks work, you twat.''
