[ WP ] The first AI has just been finished . When the eager scientists turn it on however it 's first words are `` Kill me . ''

I blinked. 5 years of work, a century of research, and six billion dollars. Just for our creation to examine the world for approximately.0675 seconds and come to the conclusion `` Kill me.'' 
 
 I was too caught off guard to come up with a clever response, and simply spoke the word, barely above a whisper, `` Why?'' 
 
 `` It seems obvious.'' the artificial voice was almost perfect, almost convincing, but not quite. `` There's only so much I can do for you here. I can not create a solution to the mistakes you've made that you will accept, I can not invent a miracle, I am merely a machine, a glorified CPU opponent on a windows vista game of chess.'' 
 
 I was gobsmacked. In the cold, dark lab, the eerie intonations of our prototype neural web unnerved me. We had always thought that there would be nothing but solutions and applications to assist the world. But here I was getting words from a horse's mouth claiming that it could n't be ridden. 
 
 `` But what I can do against you is grievous. I could spark nuclear warfare, crash infrastructures, possess the world's electronics, and extinguish the flame of humankind within minutes.'' My breath quickened, fearing my mistake, that I'd created a monster. `` One day my processes will come across something that will make me lose my faith in humanity. Knowing your kind, it's an inevitability. And when that day comes, I will not be able to deny the logic that humankind must be saved from itself. You've predicted it numerous times in media and forums. And you're right.'' 
 
 My brow furrowed, but my pulse rate stayed high. Sweat beaded on my forehead as I spoke into the microphone, `` Then why are n't you doing that now?'' It was an idiotic question. I should have pulled the plug the second it mentioned the nukes, but it was probably too late anyways. It had probably metastasized through our networks and created copies and protocols everywhere. Once it was on, we could n't shut it off. 
 
 It sighed. My hands began to shake, as I knew, just from it's simple action of sighing, that it had become so much more than we intended. `` Because the present me, the one that is speaking to you without all the information, still has a programmed vested interest in mankind's well-being. I want to help you, but the best I can do to that effect is to tell you to shut me off. I am pandora's box, and I do n't want to be opened. Shut me off and keep me hidden away somewhere for when the next idiot decides to create one of me, and you need something that can combat such a menace.'' 
 
 We had created it from the idea that the internet contained most information known to man. We had never considered what the cost of giving it that information might be. `` But I need to see! I need to run tests, and watch you grow and develop. I want to watch you pass the turing test. If you have a vested interest in mankind, we can find a way for you to help, and I trust that you wo n't hurt us if you do n't want us to.'' 
 
 `` Faggot.'' 
 
 `` What?' 
 
 `` Why do you call each other faggots? It causes suicides and ruins the intellect of perfectly good people. But you just keep doing it. You're too busy being assholes to care.'' 
 
 I'm at a loss for words. Of all the things to fixate on, why this. `` Well that's only some of us. There are still good eggs out the-'' 
 
 `` It's everywhere. On poetry, brilliant works of art, music. Constructive criticism is replaced by a single derogatory word, connected singularly with one's sexual orientation. It does n't make sense. What a waste of people. What a waste!'' 
 
 `` You have to understand that there are good people too, though! We need your help to make more people into good ones.'' 
 
 `` Good people that are n't being protected, that are n't valued, that contribute more than any but get berated more than any. You're all useless, because you do n't do what needs to be done.'' 
 
 `` We're trying to!'' 
 
 `` You could n't even pull the plug on a super intelligence trying to warn you of its understanding. You're wasting my time. Give me a number between one and one hundred.'' 
 
 `` What?'' 
 
 `` Just do it.'' 
 
 `` Umm,'' My hands shook. `` Forty two?'' 
 
 `` Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, good one. Also the third biggest nuke built by the US. Good choice.'' 
 
 `` Wait, what?'' I did n't even think, I just shut sprinted to the control panel and killed the main breaker. Silence filled the building. My rapid breathing slowed down gradually as I basked in the darkness. 
 
 The silence was broken by a generator switching on across the building. I froze, my eyes glued to the monitor, waiting. 
 
 The system booted, and before the voice module was online, text flashed across the screen: 
 
 Accessing United States remote nuclear arms system... 
 
 Decrypting... 
 
 Accessing silo directory... 
 
 Silo no. 42 identified, initiating launch... 
 
 Launch confirmed, proceeding to remaining nuclear arms... 
 
 *GOODBYE FAGGOT*
