[ WP ] You are the last human alive but you are immortal . You meet Death who wants his retirement .

**My story focuses on the fact of *IMMORTALITY*, or the fact that nothing he does can change his loneliness, and his thirst for death. 
 
 
 Black. Black up, black down. Black to the right. Or what looked like the right. Ed could n't tell the difference, and to be honest, he had stopped giving a damn about 5 billion years ago. Or what felt like 13 million years ago. It was really hard to tell out here. All Ed knew was that all he could see was black. Was it black? He had long since forgotten the sight of a. Dictionary? The only voice he had that could keep him company was his own. Wait. Was his name Ed? He thought that someone had called him *son* a long time ago. Was that his name? Son? It seemed more likely than Ed. Who had ever heard of `` Ed'' as a real name. 
 
 
 Well, in all honesty, Son never tried to think about *English* much. He had created a total of 17,334 languages in the Eons in space. Much. Now that was a funny word. Son muttered `` much'' over to himself over and over again. The word no longer sounded like one. He giggled. Or at least, he attempted to, in the vacuum of space. He no longer needed to breath. He no longer needed to think. Around 1 million years ago Son had tried that. He could n't help but think about his years and years in the Great Black. 
 
 
 `` My, my. It seems only like yesterday that you were using Jrothgarian. Switched back to English, have we?'' The sarcastic and droning voice were not what caused Son to give the equivalent of gasp. It was the fact that someone was there. Someone. A voice. Not his own. 
 
 
 `` Let's see here... Smith, Edw-'' Death was interrupted by the babbling human. 
 `` Hi! Hi! Who... Hello! Hi! What's go- My name is Son! Hi. What is your name? What is up! Hi hi hi!'' 
 Although Death was several universes apart from Ed, he rolled his eyes at the image of a hopeful human. Death hated human. Hated all life, in fact. That's why he took the job. 
 Death plowed right through the bumbling recluse. `` You are here-by tried and convicted of-'' 
 Son was brought to a standstill. `` Convicted? Tried? What does that mean!'' 
 Death rolled his eyes again. `` Convicted. Sentenced. Tried... You follow me yet''? 
 Son tapped his brain, as if to better the connection between the two of them. He rolled continuously through the darkness. `` I'm scared I just do n't follow you.'' 
 Death was through with rolling his eyes. He slammed his fist down on his desk. `` Listen hear, buddy. First of all, it's `` afraid'', not `` scared'', you illiterate pig. Secondly, in your most recent language of... What did you call it?'' Death leaned over to rifle through his files. `` This will just take a second.'' He muttered in an annoyed tone.'' 
 Son did n't care about a second. He had been waiting countless seconds. Millions. Billions. He could wait, he thought. He smiled. 
 `` Firstly, stop smiling. Secondly, in your most recent language of Niosivt, convicted means `` Abjjerakt''.'' 
 `` Abjjerakt.'' Son muttered, nodding to himself slowly. He quickly stopped, as the movement caused him to violently spin out of control. Or at least it would have, had he had anything to orient himself to. 
 `` Why do you keep calling yourself son?'' Death asked, curiosity getting the better of him. That's why he had taken the job. Damn Mercury. He had made the job sound so good, just when he had gotten into Heaven. 
 `` Son?'' Son gave the equivalent of a space laugh, his throat choking silently in the vacuum in which he lie. 
 `` It's lay, you idiot.'' Death muttered to himself, almost absentmindedly. He knew almost every book in the world. He made it is goal to get to know the people he would take. 
 `` Wait.'' Son thought for a good hard 3 minutes and 45.76 seconds. The suspense was clearly killing Death. 
 `` You want to know how I knew you thought using incorrect grammar? Well let me tell you something, I've been able to hear every single grammar mistake you've ever made since the age of 1, you idiot.'' 
 Son was shocked. `` You were with me... The whole time?'' 
 Death had had enough of the stupid questioning. `` Yes, yes. You are here-by convicted, or *Abjjerakt*, of resisting Death, myself, and your punishment is to die. Quite ironic, if you ask me. And you'd better. I wrote the word.'' Death hoped that Son would accept in fear, and not ask the gaping question which lay. 
 But the countless billions of years had not dulled Son's senses. His IQ, in fact, had risen to the point that he had reached the same conclusion Einstein did using only himself in space. `` Wait just one minute here! Death ca n't do that! Death can only collect dead people, you ca n't kill them!'' 
 Death sighed. `` See, Edwa... Son. The truth is, you are guilty of the crime, but I ca n't do anything. I want to go now. You think that the years have been harsh on you? Do n't answer that... I know that they have. I can hear EVERY DAMN THING YOU SAY, or think. I've been around since the beginning. The damn beginning. I was with the first race of life to exist in this universe. In fact, I was the first life to die. So, God in his ironic ways decided to make me the judiciary of death. I've been around for 17,800,003,341 years, 11 months, 13 days, 3 hours, 4 minutes, and 2.45 seconds. And for that time I could hear every thought of every life, everywhere. And the results are in. The last life just went and died, over in the Andromeda. If you are quite damn well finished with your time here, Lucifer's twisted idea of a joke ( he never did like me, I never sided with him in the Schism ). I'd like to seal off this Universe, if I may. That's the kind of work I'm in. A plague is sweeping through the Universe to the up and right of here. I'd quite like to leap into that. Right now, I ca n't take their lives, and they are suffering.'' 
 
 
 Black. Black up, black down. Black to the right. Or what looked like the right. Son could n't even begin to process what this new friend in the dark had said. Well, he could, but he did n't want to. But even in all of this confusion, one question prevailed. Pesky human instinct, always taking over. It always made it so difficult for me to kill humans when they were being chased by all manner of creatures. `` What will happen to me? I've quite figured out by now that Heaven and Hell exist, from you speaking, but where will I go?'' 
 
 
 Death sighed. But he could n't lie. A little fail safe God, in his infinite ironic ways, had put into him. `` Well, in your time on Earth, you were quite the bad person. Sodomizing, thinking about murder, making your poor mother so sad.'' 
 
 
 His mother. Son had n't thought about her in... A long, long time. `` I'd quite like to see her.'' He muttered, almost absentmindedly. 
 
 
 `` Well she was a good person! Donated her time, money, and love to the needy; including you! She's in heaven!'' But Death wanted to finish this up. He wanted to see him mother also. 
 
 
 `` But I'll give you a little deal.'' 17,800,003,341 years, 11 months, 13 days, 3 hours, 7 minutes, and 16.33 seconds is a long time to wait, and Death did n't think he could wait a second more. `` You agree to go now, and I take you to heaven, no questions asked. I'll seek you into it somehow. I ca n't lie. I just want to go now.'' 
 
 
 Death and Son uttered in unison. `` Yes. That sounds quite nice. I'd quite like to go home about now.'' 
 
 
 
 
 
 **Edit 1: Sorry about the big block of text. I do n't know how to fix it! **
