[ WP ] Its been five years since the zombie outbreak was put down by the world military . A reporter for your national news comes to your house to ask for your story on how you and your family survived the outbreak .

`` What was it like?'' 
 
 I beat a woman's head in with a rock. That's what it was like. 
 
 *A low chuckle followed by paper rustling. * 
 
 Survival? It fucking sucked. A lot of people are going to try and dress it up and paint some kind of fucking artsy bullshit about how humanity won out against the Zeds. 
 
 And Yeah, in some places, like the folks out at Shed who lived off the exhibits, or that fucking elephant keeper, you'll see some sparkling examples of the human spirit breaking the mindless zombie hordes. 
 
 *Flick, blaze.. Poof* 
 
 We had taken over most of the neighborhood's yards before the first winter. there was ten of us then, and we only had to kill about double that to keep the land, not counting clearing the Zeds... 
 
 *The feed goes quiet for a handful of heartbeats. before she starts up again. * 
 
 Luckily, the older couple who liked to garden had skipped out early, or were bitten. Either way, we had seeds, tools and enough canned crap to last that first winter without having to eat anyone. 
 
 *coughs* 
 
 Do n't wince Soft Hands, we were n't all safe and tucked into a Blue Zone like you. My mother did n't suck a dick as well as yours I guess eh? 
 
 *The coughing gets worse* 
 
 I did n't used to smoke either. 
 
 Everyone in my family had... Father, mother and sister. Could n't stand the shit. The old man dropped off before the Plague, and mom was in a chair then.. She lasted the *Entire* damned thing, puffing in that chair with us. Died of a fucking infection after the Blue Coats got around to fucking `` saving'' us. 
 
 Good on you lot for that, by the by. Only took you a decade. 
 
 *Sizzle.. Poof* 
 
'Did I know the woman?' 
 
 No shit, I knew her. What are you supposed to do when you see someone get bit? You think I'm gon na be one of those dumb fuck's locking their family in a basement and hope for a cure? You know what happened to those idiots? 
 
 They got fucking ate. 
 
 Survival fucking sucks kid. Be thankful you have to fucking ask about it.
