[ WP ] You buy your wife a fun DNA home testing kit . The post arrives with her results , which you eagerly tear open to find she 's 37 % German , 38 % Cherokee Indian , and 35 % `` Unknown and Unidentifiable . '' Within moments , three black vans pull up outside your house , and there 's a knock at your door .

I struggled against the two men who held my arms pinned behind my back. Between my wife and myself stood the man in black. His back was to me as he leaned over my wife where she sat on our couch. I caught a glimpse of my wife's terrified face as the man in black shifted his position. 
 
 `` You know, I look for people like you.'' The man's voice was an unpleasant, hoarse rustling, with a hard edge running through it. `` It's my job. I find you in the sewers, and I find you in the suburbs, but this is the first time one of you has served yourself up to me.'' The man gestured at the manila envelope lying on the coffee table between he and my wife. `` It's nothing personal, you understand. It's just that we ca n't have you overachievers running around unchecked.'' The man paused briefly. `` You seem like a nice lady. It's too bad for you that your parents were the type to give 110 %.'' The man in black emitted a high-pitched sound that might have been a giggle, then leaned toward my wife. I had just enough time to see the syringe in his hand before the hood came down over my eyes. 

