[ WP ] A boy asks a girl out . It 's high school . It 's awkward . Narrate it from the point of view of a nature documentary .

`` Have you ever seen'The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human?''' asked the young man. 
 
 `` Are you seriously asking me to a porno flick for our first date?'' the desired female of his pack responded cooly. 
 
 At this point, the male's palms begin to perspire, perhaps in anticipation of another lonely night with only himself for company. `` No, no, it's not like that!'' 
 
 `` So... not a date, then?'' Human females have a reputation, deserved or not, for being uncommonly and deliberately obtuse towards the advances of their reproductive counterparts. Despite appearances, this is another aspect of the complex mating rituals of these peculiar great apes, a test of resolve for the male. 
 
 The young male, in turn, flounders. He scratches a nonexistant itch on the back of his head. `` It's this comedy, it's got the gay brother from that'Cheers' spinoff.'' 
 
 A peculiar choice, raising homosexuality in his attempt to achieve heterosexual copulation. Let's see how it plays out for our subject. 
 
 He stammers. `` It's, er, it's a comedy. This alien is watching a couple dating, it's pretty funny.'' 
 
 The female smiles. However, her response seems calculated and, again, akin to a precursor to denial. `` So, voyeurism, then?'' She glances over her shoulder. 
 
 [ Do n't worry about them, Charles, they ca n't see us behind the cloaking device! Keep the video feed rolling! ] 
 
 From across the room, a group of females giggle into their hands. The young male sees his would-be paramour's companions' reaction. His face flushes with blood, a sign in this species of exceptional blood flow and great potential for genital strength and power. 
 
 The adult male upon the stage around which the youths are gathered presses keys on his primitive computational musical instrument. The lights in the small room change in color, and the music being played shifts in tempo and rhythm. 
 
 Our young female subject stands more erect, and although it can not be observed from this distance or in this setting, the pupils of her eyes will be dialating in response to the excitement stirred by the sounds. She smiles again, extending a hand to the male. `` How about we start with a dance?'' 
 
 The male swallows a prominent amount of saliva. Despite this, his voice is hoarse as he responds. `` Yeah, sure. Let's do this!'' 
 
 First contact has successfully been made! From here, they proceed to one of several of their species' mating dances, which both male and female perform for the evaluation of their partner and potential mate. It is a form of job interview for the potential of copulation later to come. 
 
 Thus, we conclude our ongoing study of the complex reproduction habits of these strange creatures. One would imagine that, with their large brains and alleged ability to reason, they would have created a much more simple and reliable process of continuing the species, but theirs is one of many absurd species on the watery planet known as Sol-3.1. From here, we shall proceed for a moment, to the Seahorse, a creature completely distinct from the land equids covered in our previous special, `` Interspecies Romantic Endeavours: The'Brony' Subspecies.'' 
 
 ( apologies for the little jab at the end, it went off the rails and I do mean no harm; just trying to augment the general air of `` not quite getting it.'' ): p
