[ WP ] You represent Humanity . You 're also very , very wasted . Describe First Contact .

There I stood, half-cocked and wobbling looking at my suited self in the mirror. As I tried to remember what neckties were for, I stumbled back and hiccuped in delight at catching myself. 
 
 `` Heh, no wonder they met me first. I'm a grade A badass''. 
 
 The pink beam which they have communicated their wish to meet had appeared again. 
 
 `` Dude, what's taking so long?'' spoke the fucia laser, `` We've been outside your palace for, like, 10 minutes''. 
 I murmured under my breath `` Pushy assholes, I'm getting rrREAdy''. My murmur had ended with a belch. `` heh, mmOOOrty'' I chuckled to myself. 
 
 As the beam floated away my mind caught it whispering `` Rick & Morty jokes? Real original.''. 
 
 As I headed to the door of my trailer, I collected vaguley alcoholic phlegm in the back of my throat. `` Ugh... ugh'', I gargled as I looked for a receptacle. I decided the plant pot would do. 
 `` Hmph, it needed watering anyway''. 
 
 I took a deep breath, straightened myself out and firmly gripped the handle. Perhaps a little too firm, as it gave way and I collapsed, face first into the Nevada dirt. 
 
 KZTHYK-Odeo the Septh stifled a laugh. The elder Septh, KYHTZ-Shanchar, was less amused and lent me a tentacle. `` This is who you wanted to make first Contact with Odeo?''. Odeo bursts into laughters from their several mouths as I, the human representation, on earth regurgitated Whiskey into Schancar's porous membranes. 
 
 Still, it was better than meeting the Martians, he did admit. Martians suck, apparently.
