[ WP ] You have 24 hours to fake your death in the most spectacular way possible . You have $ 1 million in cash and 40 circus workers dedicated to you .

`` Okay, break my legs and arms, and throw me off of a bridge and into the river.'' I told the head circus performer, a seven-footed, 320 pound man who looked like if a hippopotamus with a hipster's fashion sense also decided to grow a giant, curly mustache. His name was Napoleon. 
 
 `` Wait, that's it? Dude, you have 1 million dollars and all of us working for you. Honestly, that's a waste.'' He told me. 
 
 `` Oh, I'm sorry my DEATH is n't good enough for you. I guess you're doing something else exciting today like robbing a bank or literally going to the moon.'' I said sarcastically. `` But, I guess you have a point, I'll think it over a little more.'' 
 
 And so I thought about it. I had never really been successful, in fact, coming across this opportunity for my death was nothing but luck. Some rich billionaire heard I was dying from cancer and thought he'd give me a twisted version of the `` Make a Wish Foundation''. Throwing exposition aside, I guess this was really my opportunity to stop being so apathetic and do something awesome with my death. 
 
 `` Okay,'' I told the main performer, `` let's hire a dragon with giant, dragon wings.'' 
 
 `` Dragons are n't real.'' He told me. 
 
 And then I had to think again. 
 
 `` Well... how about a mechanical dragon, can we do that?'' I asked him. 
 
 `` I suppose we can improvise. What exactly were you thinking?'' The guy asked me. I explained it to him. 
 
 Three days later, I was jumping out of a moving airplane as a familiar song filled the air. Gnarl Barkley's `` Crazy'', except it was played by an giant orchestra from several different highschools, because it turns out, real orchestras are crazy expensive. 
 
 I let loose my parachute as a screeching struck through the air. I looked downward to see the familiar robotic T-Rex used in the original Jurassic Park had cardboard wings stapled to it. On its head stood Napoleon juggling apples that had been spray-painted gold. I knew this, he did not, because he took a bite from one of these apples only to immediately had a sour looked come across his face. You got ta give the guy props, he chewed and swallowed the piece he bit off. 
 
 I pulled out a fake lightsaber from my pocket and screamed out, 
 
 `` I'll be back!!!'' as I jumped into the T-Dragon's mouth and fell down into its stomach. Inside the stomach was completely dark, but I could hear a ticking sound I knew to be a bomb. I heard a sudden siren go off as the circus-performers quickly, but efficiently got everyone out from the bomb's impact area. 
 
 What they saw was the T-Rex then exploded from the lightsaber-wielding nerd's awesomeness. 
 
 Either way, someone's talking about it. 

