[ WP ] Fox News finds out about r/pyongyang

`` Breaking news! Dirty communists have infiltrated our American Internet! The terrorists meet at a site called reddit, where liberalintellectuals ridicule proud, upstanding Americans. The most popular subreddit, /r/pyongyang, is full of once good old-fashioned American citizens, now infected by the scourge of communism. We now turn to Bill O'Reily for his take. Bill?'' The reporter turned to Bill, as did the camera. `` Well, it's pretty clear what we have to do. These commies are singing the praises of Kim Jong Il and seek to corrupt our America.'' Bill paused to pet the bald eagle that was resting on his arm. `` We must protect America at all costs, no matter what the bleediing-heart liberals say! We need to track the locations of every single person who ever visited the site and send them to Gitmo. For those who think me to harsh, I have one question for you.'' He paused, his eyes focused intently at the camera. `` Do you love America? Will you do anything to protect the land that you love? If you are a true American patriot, you will do everything to stop the red menace from destroying our homeland.'' O' Reily wiped a single tear from his bald eagle's eye, saying `` Do n't cry, Freedom. The terrorists will be brought to justice.'' Back to you, Barbara.'' The reporter did n't take the stage for long, as a correspondent in Washington D.C. was interrogating the President on his stance towards the incident. `` Mr...'' She shuddered as she said `` President'', the words bitter and unacceptable. `` What you think should be done to combat the red menace?'' Obama responded with `` I just do n't think that this issue is important enough to warrant such a response. Surely our national debt, climate change, the state of the American education system, is more of a priority than some satirical subreddit?'' The reporter was taken aback. `` Mr. President, are you aware that communists are currently on U.S. soil?'' `` Why, of course! The U.S. has a communist party of its own. It's not a recent development.'' The reporter turned to the camera. `` There you have it, folks. Our so-called President, the secret Muslim Kenyan, has just declared the invading communists `` not important enough''. Now let's go our live coverage of the subreddit itself. `` The subreddit has been abuzz with posts, many with such names as `` Fox News actually thinks we're an NK operation. What fucking morons!''. Our top researchers are at a loss. Could this be communist code? We now go live to one of the `` shitposters'' of the sub.'' The camera shifted, bringing an obese, bespectacled neckbeard. When asked about the incident, he collapsed into laughter. `` Oh my fucking God! You really think we're....'' was all he managed to get out before launching into another fit of laughter. The reporter stared into the camera. `` Could this be liberal indoctrination through Hollywood? Liberal brainwashing through evolution? The corruption of our youth through the nefarious Internet? More at 11! Now back to Barbara, with a story about the sodomites Sherlock and Watson of BBC fame, who've amassed a following aboard a ship on Tumblr. Will this lead to American retaliation against Britain for their sodomite propaganda? All this, and more, after these messages!''
