[ WP ] You have been cursed by a witch . The love of your life will always misconstrue every love confession you make , no matter how clearly you state your feelings .

“ Oh my dear God. You literally disgust me. ” 
 
 I stared into his bright, clear blue eyes. I had been feeling this way for years, but I had no idea how to tell him. But now, the time felt right. This felt like the way. 
 
 “ The thought of spending my life with you makes me dry heave, ” I said. “ I think I would real-heave if you ever tried to kiss me. ” 
 
 Tears welled up in my eyes. This was hard and went against all my instincts, but he had to know how I felt. How I loved him more than anything. 
 
 Decades ago, when I was just a small fetus growing inside my mother ’ s womb, my parents angered the wrong neighbor. And now, thirty-three years later, I was the one who bore the cross of their mistake. A witch cursed me so that-no matter what I said, the love of my life would always misconstrue my oaths of love. 
 
 So, after years of pining, after decades of pledging my devotion only to be confused as someone who only wants to be “ friends ” at best, I think I ’ ve found my way out. 
 
 “ I would rather eat a week old diaper than look at your face a second longer, you fucking douche-monkey. ” 
 
 I searched his face. What was that look? Horror? Revulsion? Or just shock? For the first time in my entire existence, I prayed that this confession of my feelings would be misconstrued again. That my true heart might be known through these lies. 
 
 “ Uh... I... I never knew that ’ s how you felt about me, ” he said quietly. 
 
 Oh god, what had I done. 
 
 “ I think I ’ m in love with you, too. ” 
 
 Again, I searched his face for irony or sarcasm and found none. There was just a real reflection of how I felt for him, mirrored beautifully back to me. 
 
 “ I hate this so much, ” I whispered as our lips finally met. 
 
 Fuck you witch. I ’ m going to make this work.
