[ WP ] You possess the rare gift to see and talk to dead people , and have kept this hidden from everyone your entire life , including your spouse . Now your spouse dies and is quite surprised .

`` Friday night'' I exhaled, `` A cold beer, Bruce Willis and broadband internet with access to all the porn in the world ``. A bright grin crossed my face as I took a sip from my Heineken and pressed play on the remote. 
 
 `` Oh my god not that bullshit again, are you really watching that crap?'' The ever nagging voice of my wife, or better said now deceased wife erupted next to me from the couch. 
 
 So far I had done a good job ignoring her constant chatter, hoping if she would n't find out that I could in fact hear her, she would just go and annoy someone else. But this was to much. 
 This was Bruce Willis and I be damned if I let her ruin Bruce. 
 
 `` Fuck you Karen, ca n't you not just shut the fuck up one time, can you Karen?'' I yelled, turning towards her. 
 
 Karens face went pale, paler than the face of a ghost is anyway that is and her arms, previously crossed over her chest in angry defiance dropped from the shock. 
 
 `` You can hear me?'' She stuttered almost lovingly before regaining her composure. 
 
 `` Since when?'' She asked, with a degree of anger in her voice that was ever building up. It also did n't help that I rolled my eyes I guess, but that question was so stupid. `` Since when can you dishonest prick hear me?'' 
 
 `` I always could! Okay? I can see and talk to ghost since i was a kid. But fuck my life. How could I have known that your ethereal form would be even more annoying than you living one?'' 
 
 Karen did not take it kindly. 
 `` You asshole ignored me, fully knowing how desperate I was, with intention, are you kidding me?'' 
 
 By now her face was red with anger and my wife stood in the middle of the room flailing her arms if as she was fighting with a Tiger. 
 It let her keep her momentum, waiting for the inevitable. And It did not take long before the question crossed her mind. 
 
 With a mixture of rage and amusement distorting her smile to a feral grin she turned to me again. `` Does that mean you stupid idiot threw a toaster in my bath, fully knowing I'd come back and haunt this house?'' 
 
 `` I admit I did not think that fully through.'' I capitulated and prepared myself for the next eternity with my wife. `` But how can anyone think anything through with you constant nagging?'' 
 
 `` Oh now it's my fault?'' She asked, playing the surprised. `` With out MY constant nagging'' Karen put emphasis in the last word by raising and twitching her middle and index fingers `` you had been dead 30 years ago.'' 
 
 My wife took a long breath. 
 
 `` Just look at that place!'' She went on. `` I'm only dead for a week and this house, my house, looks like a hoardes wet dream. You lazy cunt did n't even get rid of my body. Do you even realize what a foul stench is in here? I have no clue why the neighbors have not called the cops already!'' 
 
 `` Maybe because our neighbors hate you? And what do you think why I did n't take care of your corpse?'' I defended myself now emphasizing the last word myself. `` You are the one that had to shit in the water when you passed, do you know how gross that is? Anyways I have enough of that shit. You already ruined my night, so I'm going to bed.'' 
 
 `` The hell you do!'' She screamed flying on the stairs blocking the way. `` You are going to clean this trash pile of a house or I make you do it.' 
 
 `` Should have shot myself instead. `` I mumbled and began collecting the empty beer bottles scattered across the living room.
