[ WP ] A dragon finds a little kid wandering alone through the woods , and takes it upon itself to raise the child . Turns out though , the kid was n't an orphan . The parents have shown up , and now they want their child back .

`` Listen,'' the dragon said, `` I'm a magical dragon that takes on orphans and goes on magical adventures with them. I ca n't just ignore an orphan in the woods.'' 
 
 `` That's what I'm trying to tell you,'' I said, `` he's not an orphan. He was just angry that we were trying to send him to bed early so he ran off.'' 
 
 `` He said you died in a tragic house-catching-fire-due-to-fart-gas accident.'' 
 
 I barely stopped myself from rolling my eyes. `` And you believed that?'' 
 
 `` I've seen it happen,'' the dragon said authoritatively. 
 
 `` Okay,'' I said, figuring this was n't worth arguing, `` the point is that I clearly am not dead and neither is his mother so we'd like our son back now.'' 
 
 `` I've already adopted him,'' the dragon said. `` I would be a poor parent indeed if I simply relinquished my duty!'' 
 
 I was n't in the mood to take parenting advice from a mystical dragon that'd never had to change a diaper. `` You do n't have the duty, okay! Even if our kid's mad at us, that does n't mean you can just adopt him!'' 
 
 The dragon grumbled. `` You do not understand, human. I am a creature of magic and, as such, am bound by my nature more wholly than creatures of the earth like yourself. I must *always* take on an orphan.'' 
 
 `` And the magical adventures?'' I said. 
 
 `` That's just so it does n't get boring,'' the dragon said. `` I'd really much rather sit on my pile of gold and nap.'' 
 
 `` You and me both, buddy.'' 
 
 The dragon was looking at me now in that sly crafty way that dragons had. `` That, then, is the solution.'' 
 
 I knew he was up to something but had no idea what. `` Are you asking for a bribe?'' I did n't have much in the way of gold. 
 
 `` No!'' The dragon spread his wings triumphantly, announcing: `` If you would have your son back, you must take his place!'' 
 
 `` What?'' 
 
 The dragon grinned, revealing its many, many teeth. `` Your parents passed recently, did they not? Though you are yourself not a youngster, you *are*, technically, an orphan.'' 
 
 `` Oh!'' I said. That made its own kind of sense. `` So you're going to adopt me?'' 
 
 `` Yes.'' 
 
 -- -- 
 
 `` And that,'' I said to my wife, `` is why there's a dragon coming over for dinner.'' 
 
 She sighed. `` We're going to need a bigger table.''
