[ WP ] Write a suicide note .

If you're reading this, I successfully killed myself, or completely forgot where this note was put and you found it before I could remember. If the former, go ahead, whatever, I do n't care. 
 If the latter, well, I ca n't convince you to stop reading, but mind your own damn beeswax and do n't bring this up to me. 
 
 I never really figured I'd do it, you know? 
 Figured, `` There are better ways to deal with things. Is n't this just giving up? I'm a bit better than *that*, at least.'' 
 Well, turns out I'm not. 
 And honestly... 
 
 Honestly, giving up happened a long time ago. 
 
 I do n't want to write a rambling note, and if I'm actually dead, you probably do n't want to read one. Tough luck to the both of us. 
 But to spare you a bit of time, I'll tell you right now: 
 There was no reason. 
 None whatsoever. 
 
 Because, honestly, what reason does anyone have to kill themselves? 
 `` Oh, life is so horrible!'' 
 `` Nobody loves me!'' 
 `` I hate myself only slightly more than I hate all of you!'' 
 `` Life is not worth living.'' 
 `` I'd rather die on my own terms.'' 
 `` It's mine to do with as I please.'' 
 
 Bullshit. 
 Every reason. Bullshit. 
 
 Oh, sure, I could tell you that life has been a succession of disappointments and failures and letdowns and nagging inconsistencies. 
 I could say something about how any joy was fleeting at best, or false and tipped with the venom of its own undoing. 
 I could be melodramatic. 
 
 Well, I'm writing a suicide note, melodramatic is apparently my thing right now. 
 
 But that's shit. 
 Life has sucked for... longer than I feel like trying to remember. Sometimes it's sucked less, and sometimes I'm so devoid of feeling that I do n't actually know if it sucked more. 
 Because I was n't miserable. 
 
 I was empty. 
 
 There was no reason to kill myself because there was no reason to live. 
 No reason to feel. 
 No reason to love. 
 No reason to hate. 
 No reason to be. 
 
 
 
 Sorry about the mess. 
 I guess there's no clean way to kill yourself.
