[ WP ] At long last , an ancient trap is sprung . Nobody saw it coming .

“ I don ’ t know, Mom. It ’ s hard to say who did it. All I ’ m saying is that there wasn ’ t really enough evidence to convict the poor bastard. ” The phone shifted on my shoulder, threatening to fall into the sink. The sudden movement spared me most of what sounded like another racist remark from my mother. 
 
 “ Mm hm, ” I responded. The can of spaghetti rings I was wrestling with finally conceded. I chucked the lid in the trash and dumped the contents into a white foam bowl. Mom droned on. 
 
 “ Hey, I ’ m gon na eat this terrible spaghetti and get on some homework, ” I interrupted. I licked a few drops of rogue sauce off of my finger as she said her goodbyes and tossed in a few more off color remarks about the murder case we were debating, and then one about my diet. 
 
 “ I will. I ’ ll hit the Farmer ’ s Market tomorrow. Love you too. I know, I know. Sun ’ s going down though, running out of time to finish this paper. ” 
 
 Homework. I wished I was lying about that instead of the Farmer ’ s market. Only one thing would lessen the blow of eating canned pasta and writing a report Biology class. Beer. 
 
 Carefully balancing the precious spaghetti rings in one hand, I grabbed a couple of bottles of pale ale with my free hand and made my way to my bedroom. After arranging my feast on my desk I fell into my comfy, beaten black computer chair and leaned back. 
 
 I popped open a beer, using the side of my computer desk. Several little scuffs from similar situations glared back at me from the wood, accusing me. No regrets. Sanity is more important than a cherry finish. College could be tedious at times. 
 
 I washed back the first bite of bland pasta with a swig of pale ale. Not bad. It was more likely that I was just getting used to it, however. 
 
 As I shook my mouse to awaken the ancient slumbering beast that was my desktop, I could have sworn that I heard a voice. It sounded like a foreign language, and I couldn ’ t even piece together where it came from. 
 
 A minute later I took another bite, just after Microsoft Word booted up. This time the voice was louder, and I understood a little bit of it. Something about food. Pre-Cooked Food. 
 
 Now I was freaking out. I looked around my room, and even ventured out into the living room and see if I had left my flat screen on. Nothing. I looked around the rest of the house, but nothing caught my attention. 
 
 As I sat back at my computer desk, I noticed the sun was still showing through the blinds. Shaking my head, I turned back to my monitor. I guess I had more time left in the day than I thought. 
 
 PRE-COOKED FOOD WILL BE READILY AVAILABLE 
 
 Spaghetti rings showered my desk as I spat out my latest mouthful, startled by the thundering voice emanating from my walls. I looked around and still saw nothing. The only movements in my small bedroom belonged to the spaghetti rings slowly sliding down my monitor, leaving little orange-red trails behind them. 
 The light was getting brighter outside of my window. I hesitated for a few more moments, then I stood up and walked over to it. No need to rush things. Neighbor might have just put up some ridiculous Christmas lights early. That happens in October sometimes. 
 
 I spun the blinds and peeped out. The sun was a bit higher than usual, and cascading right through my window. I blinked, and turned away. 
 
 All right. Homework. More beer. Maybe that was a bad batch of spaghetti rings. The voice couldn ’ t be real. 
 
 Gathering my thoughts as best I could, I strode back into the kitchen. Before I could make it the fridge, the kitchen window caught my eyes. There was the sun, peeking right through it. 
 
 On the east side of my house. 
 
 I jerked the blind cord all the way down and stared outside. There was the sun, mocking me from a completely different direction. I barely registered my cheating neighbor kissing her boyfriend goodbye on her front porch, ushering him out before her husband arrived. 
 
 PEOPLE WILL TAKE VOWS AND BREAK THEM 
 
 I was on my way outside before the disembodied voice finished. I slammed my screen door behind me and immediately looked to the sky. Three suns. No, four. Fuck, was that one behind the park ’ s tree line? 
 
 THESE ARE THE SINS OF THIS EARTH 
 
 After a few seconds of dumbfounded gazing, I noticed I was still clutching a beer. I took a long drink. It was getting pretty damn hot outside. 
 
 PEOPLE WILL BECOME ADDICTED TO INTOXICATING DRUGS AND DRINKS 
 
 I flipped the empty beer bottle into my yard and looked up at one of the suns. 
 “ Fuck you. ” 
 
 PEOPLE WILL ALL USE HARD AND VULGAR LANGUAGE 
 

