[ WP ] You wake up to a lot of noise on your front lawn and you see numerous religions , from Buddhist monks to Christians and all the way to Satanist and that one crazy guy down the street . All of them proclaiming you as the chosen one or the reincarnation of someone .

They were all just standing around in my front yard, waiting for me to reopen the door. I was n't the chosen one of any kind! I dumped water on my face, and then stared into the mirror. Just then, I saw a monk in a black cloak on the bed in the room behind me. How'd he get in there? I walked over angrily and shouted, `` Get out of my house! I'm not the chosen one!'' 
 
 The monk, black cloak slightly covering his face, turned to me and smiled a strange smile. `` Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Master Yao, and I have trained for all of my life to be the chosen one.'' 
 
 `` Please continue,'' I asked, hoping that he had found his way in and that was who the people outside were looking for. 
 
 `` Despite hours of training, I could n't do it. I'm not fit to become the reincarnation of the Great One himself. However, his spirit was tracked down to right here. I brought them all here to see you,'' the monk said, still peacefully sitting on my bed. 
 
 `` Why me?'' I asked, still wondering how I could explain that I was not the chosen one, despite the crowd outside deciding otherwise. 
 
 `` The Great One lives inside of you, and I have come to harvest his soul,'' the monk stated, giving me a slight smile. He reached in front of him as a scythe appeared in his hand. `` I'll take that soul one way or another, my friend.'' 
 
 Just as he was about to destroy me with the scythe, another entity appeared behind him and breathed fire on him, turning him into ashes. `` I am Satan, and I am here for the soul of the Great One!'' 
 
 Satan took one step toward me before he fell to the ground in pain and agony. `` They say that humans will destroy the Earth. Let's make that true!'' a nerdy figure exclaimed, walking toward me with a strange solution. 
 
 Satan stood back up and burned the man, laughing. `` Those Satanists outside are misinformed. You may be the chosen one, but I'll have your soul!'' 
 
 As he readied his flame to light me with, a blinding light appeared behind Satan, and the monk and the scientist reappeared. They all started arguing, each and every one of them wanting to take my soul. What a day! 
 
 Just then, the door to the room burst open. `` Oh great, another visitor,'' I groaned as I looked in the direction to see who it was. `` What the hell‽ 
 
 `` YOU'RE FIRED!'' yelled an angry Donald Trump as he stormed into the room. The three evil entities backed up as Trump took center stage and walked up to me. `` I'll pay you a billion dollars for your soul, but it has to come with a cage.'' 
 
 `` Deal! Anything to get me out of this mess,'' I exclaimed, sporting a grin and shaking Donald's hand.
