[ WP ] You have won the lottery and will never have to work another day in your life . You work your current job and want to get fired in the most fun possible way .

Journal, 
 
 Have you ever heard of the book *Looking For Alaska*? I've probably told you what it is. Well, one of the characters is quite the prankster. I do n't wan na ruin anything for you, but I've got ta find a way to one-up her. I've basically got an unlimited budget here, too. 
 
 Yeah, that's right, journal. I won the lottery! 
 
 I do n't think I've ever been happier. I talked with my retirement planner and I'm actually pretty much set for life. I do n't have to work again unless I want to. And, of course, you know I hate my coworkers and my job, but I've already gone on and on and on about that. You have a great memory. I just wan na run some ideas by you about how to get fired in the best way possible. 
 
 The first thing I thought of was not being a jerk. I submitted my intent of retirement, which means I have two weeks. So, I have two weeks to plan this prank, but I do n't wan na hurt anyone, or make anyone hate me. I just want to be remembered. Second, not too much money. I won 249 million, and there were no split winners, but the pool was originally 643 million, which is why I bought a ticket in the first place. After taxes and stuff, I'll have a quarter of a billion dollars. It's a lot, but life takes a lot of money, so I wan na be careful. And, third, I want people to know it was me. 
 
 So, that's the criteria. Here are my ideas. 
 
 - Set up a Bitcoin mine in the IT room, eat up the bandwidth and make money for it. Then, pay the IT guys to pretend there is some crazy server thing going on, basically send the whole company into a panic, and then they go into the server room and find my whole operation, the boss would know it was me. But, I'm basically immune anyways. That's implied on the rest of these, by the way. 
 
 - Stay late one night and put glitter in the fans of everyone's computer. Pretty self-explanatory, but I do n't know how much damage that would do to a computer. It is just glitter, after all. 
 
 - Laxatives in the water coolers. 
 
 - Buying buckets of live ladybugs and unleashing them in the workspace. 
 
 - Alternatively, buying buckets of assorted animal feces off of the Internet and unleashing them in the workspace. 
 
 - Take all of the keyboards and hide them in the basement of the office, once they get down there I close and lock the door on the people who found the keyboards. 
 
 - Last one so far, buy multiple speakers and hook up an iPod, hide the speakers, and blast a playlist of hated songs, like Justin Bieber or something. 
 
 I'll you if I think of anything else. Thanks for listening to my ideas, journal. You've always been there for me, even when my coworkers have n't. I do n't have very many friends now that I'm all grown up. Maybe now it'll be a little easier to find someone on Tinder. 
 
 Talk to you soon, and I'll tell you how the prank goes. 
 
 Justin
