[ WP ] How to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

First, grab some bread from the cupboard. Got none? Guess it's time to go to the shop. Do n't park in disable car parking spots, especially if the younger brother of Jim ( from Accounting, wants your job ) is currently the warden. If you forget to do so, start walking. If you remember, drive safely home! 
 
 On the way back, do not look the dirty 14-year-old standing on the side of the road with visibly nothing to do in the eye. She will accept it as a challenge, as is the case amongst all of its species, notice your limp and walk the distance of a Mini Cooper behind you and copy it. Resist all urges to whack the drain on society over the head with your newly-acquired starchy club. 
 
 Return home. Do not use the car keys, they do not fit. Place the bag on the stove as if a make-shift counter top. Open the fridge and acquire the ingredients - peanut butter and jelly. 
 
 Open the drawer and select a small knife. Head to the rack and acquire a bread knife. 
 
 Endure for a leisurely two minutes, the rambling of your sister on how she can not stand peanut butter, or its smell. 
 
 Remove from the bag, and lay flat, two pieces of bread. Open the jar of peanut butter and spread to your liking. Repeat for as many slices as necessary. To prevent cross-tasting, remove any excess using the side of the jar, then use your fingers to remove the rest. Yummy. 
 
 Pick up the jar of jelly. Drop the jar of jelly. Attempt to clean up the jelly/glass mixture created on the floor. Stab finger with glass. Curse till a sailor would blush. Throw the chopping board and bread on the ground. Kick the cupboards, reel in pain. Smash an egg in the pile for good measure.
