[ WP ] After the Dark Lord conquered the realm everything turns out really damn good .

`` No, Mr. Attachment, I expect you to die.'' 
 
 Of course, I did n't expect him to actually die. The unkillable agent 11 should have found a way out of that shark tank, gotten past the robot tanks, slipped past the laser grid. But instead, he drowned. Drowned. What an anticlimax. And I was left with no one to stop me from taking over the world. 
 
 I was n't even sure what to do with it, once I had taken remote control of all of the military machinery of the developed countries. I mean, the point had always been the journey, and now that I was there, it seemed... pointless. But, I'd always hated the oligarchy that had worked my father to death, and abandoned him as he lay dying in that hospital bed, leaving my mother and I nothing but debt and despair. It was what made me strive to become what I had been - a thorn in the establishment's side. But now... 
 
 The first thing I did was round up the banking executives, the insurance executives, the people who actually ran things. I spent months going over there misdeeds, assuring myself that each of them was guilty... and then I fed them to my sharks. It seemed fitting. I turned my attention to politicians, media executives - there were celebrations in the street when I dismantled Comcast - and petty dictators. 
 
 I could n't figure out what to do about the mess in the Middle East, so I just put a wall around the whole lot of them, and took away all of their advanced military technology. It was easy; everything used my smart chips. I've been airdropping food bundled with literature and satnet smartphones in random locations all over the region. Hopefully eventually their culture will skew to something more moderate. I'm considering doing something similar in North Africa, and I've already started airdrops in North Korea. Unfortunately, those lunatics were using such primitive tech that they did n't have any smart chips, but all they've done is posture so far, and I do n't think they have the technology to do anything else. 
 
 I did n't intend to actually become the world government. It sort of snuck up on me. But now, I've got to meet with my cabinet to discuss the global healthcare crisis, and some delegation has arrived to protest my dismissal of unilateral GMO bans - we've got a lot of people to feed, and the desalination project is n't going so well, so we need those low-water crops. I'll probably toss that anti-GMO lobby to the sharks, they have n't eaten anyone since that anti-vaxxer delegation last month. 
 
 Frankly, this job sucks, and if I could find someone I trusted to hand it over to, I would, in a heartbeat. I have n't had a minute to relax in the Caribbean since agent 11 had the bad form to run out of air before he got the manacles off, and I just want a nap...
