[ WP ] The same damage done to a persons iPhone is also done to its owner . Cracks are substituted as scratches , chipped corners for bruises , etc .

John was confused. `` Is this legal?'' he asked. 
 
 `` Well-'' said his companion. 
 
 `` Well said,'' said John, `` I've always forgotten how loquacious you are.'' 
 
 John's impatient interruption seemed to have effect on the man, since he went right into an explanation with only the calmest tone in his voice. 
 
 `` It is n't ill-egal, in the sense that it's a sick-ass American Exceptionalist rapper, nor is it il-legal, in the sense that our favorite dictator has yet to ban such a western concept, but rather, it's illegal in the sense that it breaks the law. I hope that answers your question.'' 
 
 Now John was getting somewhere. `` If so, why is Apple doing this to us?'' 
 
 `` Well,'' replied the man, launching into yet another explanation, `` it is n't doing Thes ti us, in the sense that it is n't currently having intercourse with a member of mythology with both a confused parentage and confused progeny, not in the sense that it's special um..Ah-ple ding, in that it's using a logical fallacy to justify it's claims, but rather, it's simply performing an act that is illegal for reasons.'' 
 
 John was getting agitated again. `` Can you give me a straight answer! Please!'' 
 
 The man was starting to get worried as well. `` Well, I'm perfectly sorry, but I simply can not give you a straight answer, given not only what we are in the **~~LOL STRAIGHT ANSWER LOL GAY HOMO~~** human race, but also given the fact that you have not provoked me.'' 
 
 John was now livid. `` Were you dropped on your head as a baby?'' 
 
 `` No, but my iPhone was.''
