[ WP ] Due to a misunderstanding the hero arrives at the tower , defeats the princess , and marries the dragon .

The message posted on the city gate was very clear: 
 
 “ Our princess has been captured by the dragon and is being held at the top of the tallest tower in the castle! Face the dragon and you will receive her hand in marriage, and become heir to the throne as well. Please hurry! ” 
 
 With that in mind, I donned my armor, sheathed my best sword, and bridled my horse. It was a strange request, but I ’ d be damned to miss out on an opportunity for fortune and glory. 
 
 The castle was known to everyone in the surrounding countryside. It couldn ’ t be missed, with a tower standing many stories tall, surrounded by a moat and flat land in every direction. Giving it the command of the surrounding territory, both literally and figuratively. 
 
 Still, it was more than a day ’ s full ride to reach the front drawbridge, and still longer to trek through the city streets and reach the highest tower. 
 
 To pass the time, I daydreamed of my bride to be. From what little I knew, she had a fiery temper and was more than a little on the heavy side, but that meant very little in the scheme of things. I was sure I would find the relationship at least tolerable with a crown resting on my head and the management of a kingdom to fill my time. 
 
 Would she love me? That was the more serious question. Could she love me? A simple man. Just another sword-swinging brute come to sweep her off her feet? She ’ d seen a thousand just like me before, no doubt. Would she agree to be my bride? 
 
 It was enough to drive a man to despair, but I couldn ’ t let those thoughts disturb my mind. I had to prepare myself for the challenge that was immediately in front of me. 
 
 I rode directly up to the front gate and demanded entry. 
 
 “ Where is the dragon? I have come for what ’ s mine ”, I shouted to the battlements. 
 
 “ You fool, ” a despairing voice shouted back. “ Hundreds have tried, and all of them have fallen.'' 
 
 “ That matters not. I will face the challenge and claim my bride! ” 
 
 The drawbridge lowered, and I met a sight I wasn ’ t prepared for. The city was aflame. The half that wasn ’ t on fire seemed to be that way only because it had already been burned to the ground. 
 
 I rode hard down the streets towards the tower, mentally preparing myself to face whatever came next. 
 
 I reached the base of the tower, and seeing that its scorched door had been thrown clear off its hinges, I dismounted and immediately threw myself into the darkness. Shield held in front of me, and my hand resting on the handle of my sword. 
 
 I met only darkness and silence. 
 
 A barely discernible circular staircase began its ascent nearby, and a dull light flickered where the staircase ended, far above. Cautiously, I began the long climb. 
 
 Taking my time, lest the creak of a stair or the clang of my armor give away my approach, I made slow progress in the dark. Thinking of only the dragon that lay ahead, and how best to approach it. Many had come before, no doubt, with the proud arrogance of youth. I would take the more subtle approach, and seek to conquer the dragon with guile. 
 
 At last, I reached the top of the stairs and peeked around the corner. A raging fire seemed to fill my view, and it took me a moment to process what I was seeing. The princess stood tied to a wooden pillar beside a hulking red dragon. Each of the dragon ’ s outward breaths was a wave of flame, and I could see the princess straining to push herself away during each exhalation. 
 
 A pile of charred bodies lay roughly halfway between me and the creature. I was right. Each man had rushed straight forward, making their intentions known, and been struck down in turn. 
 
 I hardened my heart, and did what I knew had to be done. 
 
 I stepped through the doorway -- slowly, nonchalantly -- and began absentmindedly looking at the stone parapet. It took a few moments, but I heard a sudden roar as the dragon noticed my presence. 
 
 I turned to face it. “ Oh, hello there. I don ’ t believe we ’ ve met before. They call me Sir Frederick. And you are? ” 
 
 A puzzled half-roar reached my ears. The dragon didn ’ t know what to make of someone who seemed only faintly interested in it ’ s presence. 
 
 “ Do you come here often? I don ’ t generally visit towers myself, but it seems like the sort of thing people have to do these days to meet interesting people ”. 
 
 Another puzzled roar, even quieter than the first. 
 
 By this time, the princess had noticed me as well. 
 
 “ What the hell are you doing? ”, she yelled. “ Are you a complete idiot? ” 
 
 “ Shut up! ”, I quietly said in response. “ Are you trying to blow this opportunity for me? Can ’ t you see I have a dragon to woo? Stay out of this. ” 
 
 “ Sorry dragon, I don ’ t know what her problem is ”, I said, turning to face the dragon again. “ I think she ’ s just jealous of what we could have together. Might I just say that you look absolutely radiant! I mean, literally... you are radiating heat and it shows. You are easily the most… attractive dragon I ’ ve ever had the pleasure to meet. I mean… damn! ”. 
 
 “ You are absolutely insane, aren ’ t you? ”, the princess said again, taken aback. “ What the devil are you trying to do? ” 
 
 “ For the last time, will you please stay out of this?, ” I shouted back at her. 
 
 The dragon, showing some interest in me -- this human that didn ’ t show anger or fear in her presence -- quickly turned and devoured the top half of the princes, silencing her forever. It then turned back to face me, with eyes showing surprising tenderness. A drop of blood ran down the boney protrusions of her jaw, as she slowly chewed. 
 
 `` What did you have to go and do that for? ”, I shouted at the spot where the princess ’ s lower half still stood. “ That ’ s what happens when you get involved in things that really aren ’ t any of your business! ” 
 
 “ Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. I love the way the moonlight reflects off your scales. It makes you look so… majestic. ” 
 
 The dragon gave a distinct growl of pleasure at my words, though somewhat muffled by a mouth full of princess. 
 
 “ How about we get to know each other a little better? My tower or yours? ” 
 
 And the rest is history. Yes, the king did eventually get around to explaining the misunderstanding. He even wanted to blame me for it, if you believe that! Clearly it was his mistake to send out such a vaguely-worded letter. 
 
 Anyway, with a large, fire-breathing lizard by my side, he wasn ’ t in any position to refuse me the honor of being the heir to his throne anyway. 
 
 And so, the dragon and I lived at least somewhat happily ever after. 
 
 The End.
