[ WP ] Like thousands of others , you 've moved your family to a parallel Earth to conquer new markets and exploit new resources . American culture there is quite different , and you fear that your rebellious son is starting to go native .

Who would have figured there was a dimension where they hadn ’ t invented lava lamps? Granted, they ’ re not some truly important invention that fills some gaping hole in society, but I mean, still, they practically defined a generation. Anyway, once all the kinks were worked out and trans-dimensional travel bans were lifted, they were the reason I jumped at the chance to move over to another dimension, along with a lot of other entrepreneurs. 
 
 You see, every Earth seemed to have something unique to share, and something unique that was missing. I and likeminded individuals crossed through portals with everything from mini pizza bagels to smartphones to MRI scanners, and made killings. Alter-Earth products sold like hotcakes! Except for in that dimension that had never invented hotcakes, because you know, that obviously means it wouldn ’ t have sold well. 
 
 I guess in all the excitement, I didn ’ t really stop to think how the move would negatively affect my family. I actually thought we ’ d adjusted great at first, I was making a lot of easy money, we had a much nicer house than in our home dimension, and this Earth seemed pretty similar, all things considered. 
 
 So imagine my surprise when my teenage son came home one day and started spouting all sorts of nonsense. I knew every dimension had lapses in product development, but basic facts, too? I tried to sit down with him, to understand where he was getting these crazy ideas, but he just told me I was out of touch, I just didn ’ t understand. He ’ s a smart kid, so frankly it ’ s got me worried, he should really know by now that jet fuel can ’ t melt steel beams.
