[ WP ] It 's New Years Eve . Your best friend died in September , you 've been robbed twice , your girl friend is leaving you , you 've just lost your job and the only one left to talk to is a gay burglar you 've got tied up in the kitchen . P.S . Your cat is dead .

I look at the paper sheet in front of me, again, for the hundreds time. My brain still can not process the information that I am reading there. Slowly I turn around to my old friend Pepe who sits quiet in the corner, knowing not to interrupt me during our weekly bondage session. 
 
 My eyes fill slowly with water. He now looks at me surprised. 
 
 `` Are... are you ok, master?'' 
 
 I slowly nod my head. 
 
 `` Just one more thing before we start. ``, I tell him. `` I need to make a phone call.'' 
 
 The phone rings on the other side, while I wipe the tears away. She finally picks up. 
 
 `` Jenny?'' 
 
 `` Oh fuck, is that you, Dan? I told you not to call me anymore, you pathetic fuck. I'm through with you.'' 
 
 `` Jenny, I'm sorry to bother you, but there is one last thing I need to clear up.'' 
 
 `` And what is that, Dan?'' Her voice is sharp and impatient. 
 
 `` Well, you know, the testament from Marc just came through. And well, we are mentioned in it. So I thought you might want to know.'' 
 
 `` Oh.'' There is suddenly a silence. I slowly count the seconds as I wait for her to follow up. At 8 she talks again. 
 
 `` So what does it say?'' Her voice just got a lot softer with the last sentence. 
 
 `` Well, it says that I inherited a lot of money. Did you know that Marc's parents had set up a trust fund for him? I did not. Apparently he is a millionaire. I mean was. Was a millionaire. Now, I am one. I do n't know, I think he hated his familiy or something, he gave me everything.'' 
 
 I stop talking to clear my voice and wait for her to comment. This time I can only count to 2. 
 
 `` So what does it say about me, Dannie?'' 
 
 `` Well, you are mentioned just in the next paragraph. It says here that I am only allowed to inherit the money under two conditions.'' 
 
 `` First... wait let me read that for you...'' I walk back to the table where the testament waits for me. 
 
 `` First it says I need to kill his cat. You remember Charlie, right? The one you gave him last christmas as a present and that I took in when Marc died? Dan calls the cat in his testament the worst fucking nightmare he ever had. And he wants it dead. His second condition is to make sure that I can not be together with you anymore and there will be a lawyer making sure that you will never ever see a single penny of the money.'' 
 
 `` Is that a fucking joke?'' 
 
 `` No. Noooo'' but I can not stop laughing as the tears start flowing again.
