[ WP ] Write a soldier 's journal entry on his first day at war . Then write his last journal entry .

**Private Jamie `` Heavy'' Gunner, 6th March, 2017** 
 
 Today I completed basic training and could n't be more happy. This is my dream since I was a little boy, to wear a uniform and serve my queen and country, to fight for our nations freedom, and to help other become free just like us. I feel alive, like I've finally found what it is that I should be doing, I was right about the army, it is for me, disciplined, structures and amazing 
 
 I met a load of guys on my training who are awesome and I think that they will be good friends of mine until the day I die, which hopefully wo n't be any time soon because there are n't any wars at the moment, so its quiet for us soldiers, sitting in the base, running training exercises and basically getting paid to have fun with the guys I know. Bring on the good life. 
 
 *** 
 
 **Lieutenant-Colonel James Gunner, 23rd May, 2069** 
 
 Today is the day that I retire from this job, and I think that its 40 years too late for me, 40 years after I got promoted to Second-Lieutenant and at the same time traded my soul to the devil, along with anything that might be considered a normal life. I've had two wives, both of them left me because I drank too much, and did nothing but my job. My children wo n't talk to me or even let me see my grand children. 
 
 I decided to read the entry I made when passing my basic training back in 2017, when I was but a fresh faced 18 year old who wanted to fight for what he believed in, freedom and glory. Well over the year I've found out that they did n't exist, I've been at riots what I was given a kill order, and I've looked into the eyes of young boys as I shot them in front of their fathers. What I've done with my life is n't fight for freedom and glory, what I've done if kill for fear and power. 
 
 All the friends that I said I made on basic training, they all died about six months later when out base was bombed, me and one other soldier survived. She was my first wife, the one who left 10 years later because of my drinking. After the base bombing, I decided not to make friends with my soldier, not to get attached to any of them. After than I became a brilliant soldier, and was asked to join the S.A.S. as just a Sargent. 
 
 I wish that I could write down what I did in the S.A.S. but I know that if I did, and someone found out I would be locked away, and most likely shot the next day, and although I hate my life, I think I will keep it for now. Although I ca n't say exactly what I did, I can say I'm not proud of most of it. 
 
 When I became an officer, I became the one who was the worst to everyone, the kind who is talked about behind his back as a butcher and who thinks of soldiers as cannon fodder, but when is talked to is told that I'm a hero and brave officer who does what it takes to win. The truth of the matter is that I do n't care about those small people, which I know is bad, but I do what I can to win; if that means that I have to kill a hundred young soldiers then so be it, I kill them in the name of winning. 
 
 The worst part of it all is that I read through every letter that is sent to the parents of the dead soldiers and have to sign and write that `` He was a good soldier, and will be dearly missed by every single on of us, Lieutenant-Major James Gunner.'' I do n't know any of those boys who I kill, like I said, I lean not to. 
 
 I guess that this is where I stop, this is where I sit down in my arm chair and drink myself to death, or take an overdose of prescription medication. I would, but now I'm out of the army, I can allow myself to feel, and I can now morn the boys that I've killed, on our side at least, getting names of the people that I've killed is almost impossible, especially from ISIS... sorry, the Islamic State, and the Taliban. 
 
 I'm now going to read every name of every soldier that I've killed, that I sent out into battle knowing that they would be killed. So I guess I better go, the dead wait my pleasure.
