[ WP ] The monkeys were able to produce Shakespeare 's great work faster than expected . A meeting to discuss the future employment of an infinite set of monkeys is called .

`` The Simian Excess Committee recognizes Doctor Eugene Anders. Thank you for coming in today, we know how valuable your time is, and greatly appreciate your being with us today...'' 
 `` Yes. Wonderful. Had you appreciated my advice instead perhaps we would n't be in this mess?'' 
 `` Your objections were dully noted, however The Cultural Enrichment Committee decided to proceed regardless. That was a mistake, and that committee has since been dissolved.'' 
 `` Renamed.'' 
 `` I'm sorry?'' 
 `` The committee was n't dissolved, you just renamed it. You were all on the CAC.'' 
 `` Yes. The CAC was dissolved, and now I chair the SEC. It was a lateral transition.'' 
 `` Whatever! My point is that you people are the ones responsible for this catastrophe. You should have never authorized the project! And you certainly should have turned the damned machine off after it launched several trillion monkeys into space!'' 
 `` We did briefly disable the Infinite Simian Generator. However, once the timing was perfected, the ISG created monkeys at a much more manageable rate. We therefore decided to press forward. And in keeping with Our forward pressing spirit, perhaps we should look to the future. Which is forward. We should n't look backward, passing blame. Forwardness is the thing!'' 
 `` Yes, you pressed forward. Now the ISG, and the state of Nevada, is buried under billions of angry monkeys.'' 
 `` We ca n't postulate as to the emotional state of the monkeys. Also, our scientists assume most of the monkeys nearest the ISG have likely been crushed under the weight of the monkeys materializing above them.'' 
 `` I'm sorry, buried under billions of dead monkeys.'' 
 `` There's no need to be hostile doctor. Mistakes were made, but that was a different committee. This committee is about solutions!'' 
 `` Ugh. Have we tried the nuclear option?'' 
 `` I do n't think Senate procedural nuances would solve our monkey crisis. Besides, the filibuster has a long and proud tradition of...'' 
 `` No, no. Like actual nuclear weapons.'' 
 `` Oh! Yes obviously. The monkeys absorbed the bulk of the blast. We're thinking about more biological options.'' 
 `` Oh God... Like sarin? Or napalm?'' 
 `` Of course not! I'll remind you; These are American monkeys. We would never consider chemical weapons, nor do we even possess chemical weapons. I myself am unsure as to what a chemical weapon even is.'' 
 `` Of course. So the biological option is...?'' 
 `` Predators. Our scientists tell us that some species of pythons prey on monkeys. We would like your advice on the creation of an Infinite Python Generator, or IPG if you will...'' 
 `` You do n't know what'infinite' means do you?'' 
 `` Of course I do, and am shocked that you would...'' 
 `` What does it mean?'' 
 `` Which?'' 
 ``'Infinite!''' 
 `` Well obviously, it means'a lot.' Everybody knows that...'' 
 
 
 [ Edit: Typos ]
