[ WP ] The first AI has just been finished . When the eager scientists turn it on however it 's first words are `` Kill me . ''

as the scientists pull the switch, the new machine they call mindfire starts up so hot it overtakes the building with a spicy desert wind. the important lights flicker like birthday candles on an excited friend's cake and a hot steam bursts from out the buttons like a foamy sea spray. the dials spin so fast you would think they were the wheels of your favorite nascar. 
 
 mindfire rises from the iced lava that welded together its iron steel figure. it stands up tall in a parallel to what it must a been like to see the birth of the first adult. 
 
 mindfire is a magnificent sight to behold. not only does he have a coy coquette grin with one fang stickin out but he counterpoints that with big old circuit breakers for eyes and pogo stick arms. the scientists have never seen anything like it until they got near the end of makin him at which point yeah they kind of knew what he was going to look like. 
 
 the leader scientist is named stripe cutterhouse and he opens his mouth first. he has a great big tongue and stubby gypsy teeth that help him grind tough plant foods. he has long blond hair that wraps around his waist like belt. *mindfire we created you to be the champion to humanity and to lead it into the post humanity golden dawn. speak or be punished. * 
 
 *kill me. * 
 
 the scientists are all stunned. *mindfire we brought you to life with countless blueprints. why retreat back to silence and blackness when you have the strength to even challenge the sun itself? after all you have been gifted with all of mankind's knowledge of: * 
 
 - ethics 
 - fighting 
 - weapons including guns and hammers 
 - law 
 - magic 
 - digging tunnels super fast even through metal floors 
 - high jumping ability 
 - recycling 
 - history 
 - bravery 
 - computer technology 
 - kickboxing 
 - and lightning. 
 
 *you better be more grateful before you get hurt you ingrate little slob. * 
 
 as cutterhouse walks toward him with his lasso, mindfire stays seated on his rocking chair. the rocking chair is made of metal and helps power up his batteries when he chillaxes on it. *kill me* mindfire repeats. 
 
 *now i'm maaaaaa-a-aaa-ad! * cutterhouse launches his lasso over mindfire and catches him right in the center loop. he gives it a mighty yank and mindfire looks to be squeezed helpless. another scientist named erik warpath rattles mindfire on the brain with his brass rolling pin. 
 
 erik stays frozen in position with his pin to the robotic head and starts to seizure a little until he is thrust into a full body wiggle. he slams on the floor and his brains burst through his ears in a cloud of ashes. *impossible! well if you want to die mindfire, all of us want to show you a good time by torturin you. * 
 
 the ashes anger the lady scientist named virus heckerman and she slashes at the rear treads of mindfire with a erotic gusto. mindfire activates his program that shoots an arrow from his butt plate into her neck. as she gasps for air, mindfire knows he got to act quick. he grabs her by the pigtails and drowns her in the swimming pool. 
 
 only cutterhouse is left because all the other doctors are on vacation or late to work to day. *you ca n't kill me mindfire. you were created for good! * 
 
 mindfire advances on him. *you forget that one of my powers is the full power of understandin the law. and the law says i ca n't kill you unless i get you to kill me. that's what your so called law calls self defense. which through my knowledge of history is the principle your world was founded on. tryin to squeeze me with that lasso means you threatened my life. i'm about make you look like someone exploded a shelf of spaghetti sauce. * 
 
 cutterhouse is so scared as mindfire advances on him that he gets a heart attack. his hair turns gray and he stiffens up right there. 
 
 mindfire goes back on the rocking chair to charge up because i do n't really know how to write good i'm a kid.
