[ WP ] An immortal man is sentenced to life in prison .

What sort of an ass-face decides to put crushed glass in your food? Big Joe is who. He's had it out for me for years now. Ever since I said something that may have insinuated that I had coitus with his mother, in fewer words of course. Obviously after a few great attempts at cutting short my life, he and his donkey brained crew finally clicked on that I could n't die and decided to get creative in causing me some sort of pain. Mostly this involves me throwing up blood a tremdous amount and the occasional shiv wound but it's pretty easy to guess what is around the corner. Sometimes I get that annoyed by there consistant scheming that I let them get on with it. That, and I like to think that I am saving some guys asshole from being torn apart for not torturing me. 
 
 
 The majority of my time though is pretty plain sailing. I have a cell which has seen many faces come and go in all my years but my old bunkie had been the longest. He's a Latino and he goes by Nailz. Nailz had been around for the best part of 20 years now so he was getting older and slowly, more bitter. In reality, I believe he was just jealous of my baby smooth skin considering i'm about 3 centurys older. Even though the majority of my life so far has been spent elsewhere i would still happily say that to date he was probably my closest friend. In a prison, eh? Who'd of thought. We watched out for one another although trouble for him was more scarce. About 10 years ago though he was more of a wildcard and I would forever spend my time pulling out various objects from my flesh due to his many escapades. He knew he had me on his side so he could n't ever lose. 
 
 
 Many different gangs have tried to recruit me during my so far 100 year stint. I had to make an agreement with the prison Govenor to not become involved in any gangs though because it would cause an uprising. I'd be their little secret weapon of mass destruction. Creating this deal got me a TV, aerial and a radio that I could keep in my bunk. Nailz of course was ecstatic. I am forever returning to find him engrossed in Jerry Springer. 
 
 
 Some time ago, i'd say last year, Nailz asked me if I could somehow break him out so he could go and be with his mother before she passed away. Nailz' mom had been battling with MS for quite some time but he knew that her end was near. I would be lying if I said that I had never thought about breaking out because I mean hell, i've been here for 100 years, what else am I going to think about? I decided I would help him. Only because i knew the pain of having and losing family when you ca n't reach them. I did a short stint in a overseas health facility about 120 years ago to try and determine why I am the way i am. Sadly during that time, my great-great-great granddaughter was in a car accident and passed away suddenly. She was the last living relative that i had. If i could help Nailz in saying good bye in anyway, I was going to. 
 
 
 We started small. I kept a notebook under my mattress with a variety of plans. Slowly the list became shorter before we were only left with one plan. The classic tunnelling system. Some people would probably think i've seen The Great Escape way to many times but the way this prison was laid out was perfect. There was an air duct that ran straight through the whole prison and outside to the other side of the fence. Luckily, not everyone could fit in the vent, I mean I can only imagine Big Joe trying to get his fat ass inside one of those. Me and Nailz we're pretty trim though and after we did the math we figured that we would fit. 
 
 
 We would need a decoy though because every 2 hours we had `` checks''. A prison officer would come round and make sure both of the inmates are in their cell and have n't tried to kill each other. I stole 2 basketballs from the gym and put a pillow case over them. I had to stop Nailz from bouncing them everywhere because he gets a bit excited when I take new things back to the bunk. I also had to go down to laundry and grab the most civilian-like clothes that i could. 
 
 
 It was a little after 11pm and checks had just happened. We waited in till we heard the cold smacking of shoes echo all the way up our block. We slowly got up and put our pumpkin people to bed. Although it did look like we had suddenly sprouted MASSIVE heads, it was passable. I rolled down my jumpsuit and put on a pair of maintence trousers. They were all black, pretty normal trousers and just left my white vest top. Indeed yes, I did look like white trailer trash but Nailz was really pulling it off! His tattoos that stream down his arms made it work for him I think. 
 
 
 Firstly we opened up our cell. Earlier that day we had taped over our electronic lock. It looked locked but it really wasnt. Also it sounds easy but, it involves magnets and it really was n't. We slowly eased it open and shut again before we managed to slip out. The majority of the inmates in our block were older now, late 40's early 50's so they were mostly asleep which made our plan relatively easier. We had taped cloth around our shoes so they would n't make that annoying clip-cloppy noise across the floor and the metal stairs. Nailz was getting a bit *to* into it as he nearly blew it all for us by sliding down the bannister sending him hurtling towards a table. Luckily he managed to just dodge it and I think he took the hint and calmed down after that. 
 
 
 We made our way across the deserted space towards the vents. We knew their were cameras but we also knew that the gaurds did n't bother to check our block often because no one ever caused any trouble at night. It was more pot luck that we did n't get caught. We had spent about a month already loosening the vent. As we passed it we would keep turning the screws a little more with this chunk of metal that we kept on us, so it was quiet when we actually took it off. Nailz crawled in first. He's a lot shorter than me so I had to give him a boost but he slid in pretty gracefully. After he had wiggled in, he grabbed my arms and pulled me up and i taped the air vent cover back in place so it took a while for them to figure out how it happened. 
 
 
 The tunnel was quite intricate if you did n't know your way but I had directions jotted on my palm. Certain places were more awkward than others. You could tell what was coming because streams of light would break through the vent, telling us someone was awake in that room. We sort of slid through those parts to create the least noise and i think it worked. Finally we came to the end. 
 
 I popped off the vent and brought it inside the tunnel. It kind of screwed up our plan of putting it back the way it was but i was pretty sure i could put it back and it look normal long enough for us to be long gone. We jumped out of the vent and the cool air hit us like a wave of relief. I propped the vent cover back into place and it was pretty passable, atleast for a couple of days. I saw that we had indeed missed the fence but we were still in the line of the gaurd tower so if we made one false move, Nailz was as good as dead. 
 
 
 We crept our way behind all kinds of prison vehicles and state troopers as we attempted to leave the area. Nailz tripped and landed on the hood of a car causing an almighty thud. Just then i heard a voice. `` GET DOWN ON THE GROUND NOW OR WE WILL OPEN FIRE''. The man from the gaurd tower had spotted us. I called out to Nailz and told him not to move in till i reached him. I slowly moved myself to roughly where he was. I gathered my energy and bolted towards him with my arms under his and onto his shoulders. I ran practically pushing him infront of me with all my force. 
 
 
 I felt the rain of bullets hitting my back as i sprinted out of there. My back was probably in shreds but i did n't care as long as i got Nailz out of there. We kept going in till i couldnt hold onto him anymore but he was fine and ran alongside now we were out of the gaurds towers iron sights. I could hear the sirens in the distance now but Nailz could just see his brothers pick up truck round the corner. He signalled for me to keep up but i pulled him aside and told his this was as far as i went. I am immortal, i may aswell suffer the consequences and serve my time rather than being on the run for the rest of my life. They would have to let me out eventually. He shook my hand and pulled me in for a tight hug before jumping into his brothers truck. 
 
 
 Shortly after, the cops arrived and dragged me straight back and tortured me to talk. I would n't budge. Not after all that effort for Nailz. I could handle the pain. Plus a brother never narks. Eventually they gave up because they knew I was n't going to be of any use to them and they threw me in solitary which is where i reside to this day. 
 
 
 After 6 months roughly in Solitary the Govenor comes strolling in. He tells me that Nailz had got nail'd a few days ago in Panama City after leaving the hospice. He got what we wanted though. He got to say good bye. I think he knew what was going to happen though but i think he had made peace with it. The Govenor handed me a letter which was addressed to me from him. He must have wrote it shortly after we got out. 
 
 *My brother sam, you have been all kinds of strength to me through these hard years. I want you to know that you will do great things for many others like me because you have been given this great gift. Use it to help people and never take it for granted. You gave me hope when there was nothing left to wish for and i will forever be grateful. I will probably be gone when you read this but never forget how much happiness you gave me. - Your brother Nailz. *
