[ WP ] A 10 year old girl shows up at your doorstep claiming she is your daughter . You are a virgin ...

`` What.'' 
 
 I did not have time for this. 
 
 `` I'm... your little girl, your daughter?'' 
 
 Being awake for forty-eight solid hours was no state in which to receive company. Especially a child playing a stupid prank. I could n't really stay mad though. Cute little cream puff, with her red hair done up in short pig tails, or whatever you call them. The big green eyes kinda reminded me of the old pictures from when Sis was her age. 
 
 `` Look kid, for reasons your parents will explain in the near future, I categorically can not be your father. The last few years have kept me... busy.'' The child looked like she might be more embarrassed than anything else. No wonder considering what a poor trick this was. Like I was going to get buried in my work and forget my first time or something. `` Ca n't see anyone out there. Hmmm...'' 
 
 *sigh* `` Okay, do you need help finding your folks or something? Are you lost or what?'' The sooner I dealt with this the faster I could get back to the prototype. 
 
 The girl took a big breath. 
 
 `` Promise you wo n't be mad?'' Mad about being interrupted while working on the greatest theory and invention of the modern age? For a damn joke? Nonsense. 
 
 `` Yeah, Cream Puff, tell the truth and I wo n't be short-tempered with you.'' That got a weird little giggle out of her. 
 
 `` What? You like that nickname?'' Despite my mood and exhaustion I cracked a bit of a smile. 
 
 `` Okay... remember no being mad... I may have played in your workshop-'' 
 
 `` Kid, lem me stop you right there. I have been in or near my workshop constantly for two days and only briefly left it at all over the past week. No one but me has been in there for some time.'' 
 
 `` Noooo.'' She looked at me like I was making her life harder on purpose. `` Not this workshop. The big one. At hoooome.'' 
 
 `` I... Little girl this is my home!'' 
 
 `` You promised you would n't get mad! I just wanted to play in the- the uh.'' She started fishing around in a pocket and pulled out a scrap of paper. `` Thuuuuh Dy... max... ian- Thats it! The dymaxian chronolologerzer!'' 
 
 I slumped against the wall. No one should know about that. Maybe a thief could get in and steal the prototype, the blueprints, or the research and theories. But I never even wrote down the name of the damn thing. Never even spoke it out loud! 
 
 `` Give me that paper!''... Good God, that was my handwriting. My higher brain went into overdrive while what was left went on autopilot. Weird what you notice or hang onto when you might have gone insane. `` The correct pronunciation, Cream Puff, is chronologizer. Dymaxian Chronologizer.'' 
 
 Everything came crashing to a halt. `` Wait. You're saying that you, little girl, are my daughter from the future?'' 
 
 `` Yes! That's what I tried to tell you. And you promised you would n't be mad.'' 
 
 `` Now that I really look at you... I see a pretty strong resemblance to your aunt when she was your age.'' 
 
 `` Aunt Sally!'' Aunt sally, eh? Strange. 
 
 `` Kid, where is the dymaxian? You came here somehow so we should be able to send you home!'' 
 
 `` Uhh... promise not to be mad...'' 
 
 `` Shit.' 
 
 `` Bad word!'' 
 
 A moment later I was looking at the molten remains of a time machine engine slowly fusing into my cement drive way. 
 
 `` I see. Still some bugs in the system. Alright kid- Look. what do I call you?'' 
 
 `` Cream Puff'', she said smiling up at my while leaning on my leg. 
 
 `` No, I meant what is your name.'' 
 
 `` Guenevere.'' 
 
 `` Merciful Father above. Really? I named you Gwen?'' 
 
 `` Mommy picked it out.'' I noted a tone of reproach in her voice. If I were to guess'Mommy' and I had discussed this. Or will at some point. Apparently I lost. 
 
 
 `` So, do you know your mother's name?'' I turned her around and walked her into the house. 
 
 `` Yeah. It's Anya'' 
 
 `` Oh? The only Anya I know right now is the one across the street.'' 
 
 `` That's Mommy! Can we go see her?!'' 
 
 `` What? Woah, nononono! Anya is like, just barely in high school. She ca n't be your Mom. 
 
 `` Aunt Sally called you a... a...'' 
 
 ``... cradle robber?'' 
 
 `` Uh-huh! and a pedo!'' I set her in a chair facing the tv and passed her a bottle of water. `` Yeah, that sounds like Sally. Remind me to give her a dymaxian so she can see the dinosaurs. 
 
 `` I suppose we need to figure out what to do until I can send you forwards to you own time again. We got ta make sure not to put you in a time during which you already exist. The numbers and equations do not paint a pretty picture of that mistake. For now just relax. I'll take care of everything.'' 
 
 Eventually I explained my research on time travel to Sally and my folks. Then they met Gwen. Sally fainted. As for my parents, well, the joy of a grandchild outweighs any concerns about the fabric of space-time or questions on the nature of causality. It was, however, a little odd introducing my wife-to-be to'cousin Gwen' four years before I asked her out. 
 
 
 
 `` Got your things all packed?'' 
 
 `` Yeah, Dad. And I picked up your tux on the way home.'' 
 
 `` Thanks, Gwen. Is my car still intact?'' 
 
 `` Uncalled for.'' 
 
 We both heard some muffled swearing from the back of the house and simultaneously shouted, `` Bad Words, Bad Words!'' 
 
 `` I'm not putting anymore money in your swear jar, Guenevere. Now please help me with this accursed wedding dress.'' 
 
 `` Sure, Mom.'' 
 
 After the wedding we went back to my workshop and fired up my first dymaxian chronologizer prototype. 
 
 `` You should wind up in the field behind the house. It will be eighteen hours after your ten year old self steps into the dymaxian that brought you here. You ready?'' 
 
 `` I think so. I'll see you guys in a few minutes I guess. Seeing as I'm taking the quick way.'' She smiled at us. The same smile as when she first showed up on my front porch. 
 
 `` We'll see you in nine months, Cream Puff.'' 
 
 `` Gross, Dad.''
