[ WP ] You fall into an underground mansion , and have to MacGyver your way out .

And here I am. Trapped like Buffalo bills ’ latest victim. Who builds a fucking, underground dungeon!? 
 
 Back on point, it ’ s actually not that bad down here. Bit dim, but that just gives it that “ You are going to die ” vibe that all eccentric billionaires ’ strife for, right? 
 
 I ’ m trying to stay calm and not let this literal horror movie theme situation get to me. I´ve been trying to open this locked door for the better part of an… 
 
 Huh. I guess I ’ ve lost track of time, no idea how long I ’ ve been down here. I ’ m not an expert lock picker or anything but I know a thing or two, and this door looks pretty old. Meaning easier locks. 
 
 Problem is equipment, I need something flexible but sturdy. And therein lies the problem, I ’ m not really wearing hairpins, my cellphone doesn´t really give me anything to work with. 
 
 This area feels pretty open, It ’ s a flower garden or something. No trees though, no bushes. But they do have dead flowers and grass. And I ’ ve been gathering dead flowers and grass. Managed to weave them together, making a shoddy stick. Almost finished the second stick as well. 
 
 For some reason, my back is sweating like crazy, I always feel like something is watching me from the shadows. 
 
 Huah! Okay, hope this works! 
 
 *tick* 
 
 Ah. Almost! 
 
 *tick* 
 
 This is harder than I remember. 
 
 *click* 
 
 I did it! Yes! 
 
 Oh god! Why does the door screech so loudly? If I hadn ’ t woken up all the ghosts, ghouls and demons, I definitely have now. 
 
 It ’ s even echoing! Jesus, mother and Mary! Wait how did that saying go again? Never mind. 
 
 The lights come on automatically was I walk down these large spacious corridors. There are doors every once in a while. The hallway turns to the left and right. And in front of me is a huge door, I think it ’ s the front door. 
 
 Its barred shut with iron or steel. No way I ’ m pick locking my way out of this. 
 
 Hmm. Maybe if I had something to unhinge this think. I need something long and heavy. I can create a ballista or something. What is it called again? Ballista right? Or was it Pulley? 
 
 Doesn ’ t matter. I ’ m going left. When in doubt, go left. Wisdom my grandpa left me. Never failed me so far. Well, aside from when I took a left turn and ended falling down a trap door into this lovely resort. I ’ m just thankful for the mattresses, breaking my fall. 
 
 Why is everything locked!? I may have to start breaking down these doors, can ’ t be expected to lock-pi… 
 
 Ha! Would you believe it. A small wooden plate with hooks on it. And what ’ s on the hooks? Pair of keys! Haha, this is quickly turning around! Told you left never fails! 
 
 Damnit. These don ’ t work on any of these doors. 
 
 Okay, forget it. I ’ m going right. This was a total dead end. Worst case, I ’ ll try to pick lock the doors. Sadly, that means I ’ ll have to go back and make new sticks. The other ones are clearly not going to work, wedge so far inside the key-hole, completely trashed. 
 
 Some of the walls are made from polished bedrock, like they just dug this place out. It looks really amazing, but that also mean there is likely only one way out of here, right? 
 
 Who accepts an invitation from a billionaire to go to his creep mountain home? Damnit Kenny, you are so stupid! Mom was right, I ’ m far too naïve. 
 
 Could really use something to eat right about now. 
 
 Oh. This one is open. Looks like the door has been ripped open by its hinges. 
 
 Is this the kitchen? Who needs a kitchen this big? A family of twelve could live in here! 
 
 A pot, a pan. Some bowls. No knives, no sporks, not even a spoon! Oh. A broom. Okay, we have a broom now. 
 
 Now that I think about it, this place does seem really clean for an abandoned underground mansion. There is clearly electricity in here and motion sensors. Fucking crazy people man. Counting myself lucky this bastard hasn ’ t seen the Saw movies. 
 
 Alright let ’ s see. Three brooms, bunch of cans, no can opener. Some pots and pans. Some sacks of flour, because why not? A mouse somewhere, saw that bastard scurrying about. Hmm. 
 
 I can rip apart these cabinets break them apart, get some thin wooden picklocks, I ’ ll be running the risk of them breaking inside the key-holes though. Probably best to bind them in some of that grass rope. 
 
 Oh! And table cloth. A lot of table cloth. Those would probably work better as rope. 
 
 I got an idea. 
 
 Alright just stay with me on this one. I´ll break the brushing part of the brooms, bind them to two of the pans. Bam! A hammer. Hmm, it might be too light though. Got it. I ’ ll fit a sack of flour in there. 
 
 Alright team! Let ’ s do it! 
 
 Damnit. This is taking way too long! I got to run back to the garden, get a stone and smack open these cans, need to eat something. 
 
 Alright. Some, tuna. Best meal of my life! 
 
 Back to the hammer. This bad boy is look pretty good. Might need a bit of work but should do for now. The table cloth really saved me here. 
 
 Let ’ s try to smack this door open. The weakest part should be where the keyhole is. It doesn´t open towards me so this should be possible. 
 
 Heave! And swing! 
 
 *Bam! * 
 
 Holy shit! It worked! A little too well, the door is pieces… what the hell is thing made of? Ah old wood. 
 
 I feel a bit silly now, I may have been able to just kick it down. But! I ’ ve got an excuse, the door in the garden wouldn ’ t budge no matter how rammed into it. So, you know, I thought this one wouldn ’ t either. 
 
 Whatever, moving on. 
 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- 
 
 Okay lost interest at this point. But it was going to go towards finding stuff to make a pulley to lift open the bars on the front door. there was going to be an old, irritated man there. telling him that there were clues and puzzles he should have solved, not just brute force himself out by building tools and stuff. He then begrudgingly awards him with ten million dollars or something. 
 
 Sorry.
