[ WP ] `` Sir , I 'm going to have to ask you to put your pants back on . ''

`` Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to put your pants back on,'' I heard a police officer say from behind me. I shook in my shoes as a little red dot circled my forehead threateningly. 
 
 `` Officer,'' I started, `` I do n't think you understand.'' I could hear the officer walking around to face me, so I could see him clearly. I heard static in my left ear. 
 
 `` Do n't say anything or you're dead.'' The staticy, low voice echoed in my ear each time I tried to move. When I woke up this morning, I did n't expect my day to end up like this. 
 
 The officer looked at me sternly and began yelling, `` Sir, if you do n't cooperate I'm afraid I will have to arrest you.'' He became persistant, reaching for his handcuffs. 
 
 `` Officer, please. Do n't do this. You're risking the lives of thousands of people,'' I pleaded. 
 
 **Earlier that morning. ** 
 
 I woke up with a ring in my left ear. 
 
 `` David. I need you to do everything I say when I tell you. Otherwise you and everyone you *think* you know will be killed. In front of you.'' He paused. His voice was deep, but deeper than a natural voice would be. He was probably using one of those voice masker things. Static. 
 
 `` It is imperitive that you do everything I say. Put on your best pair of pants, but do n't wear underwear. Now, after you do that, go to Main Street Park and drop your trousers and stand there. I will be waiting with a sniper rifle, and I will shoot you if you do n't follow my directions *exactly*. Also, you can not respond to me, and I know where you live, David Xander Matthews.'' 
 
 **Back at the park. ** 
 
 `` You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of la-'' The officer was cut off by a loud bang an explosion of blood and brains all over the front side of my body. Everyone began screaming in terror. How the officer did n't notice the laser sight upon my forehead as he was facing me elludes me completely. I decided I was dead no matter what happened. Maybe there will be some sort of distraction that will help me get away unscathed. 
 
 `` Do n't even think about it, David. I can tell you're getting antsy to move. One **step** and you will look far worse than that cop. Stay still, kid. You're almost done.'' 
 
 I could hear sirens in the distance, how would I explain myself? I did n't kill the officer, and my pants were down exposing my un-mentionables to the majority of the public. What was this mysterious stranger planning? Before I even noticed there were police cars accompanied with ambulences and firetrucks alike. I was rushed by police officers, but as they became closer, each of them fell to the ground with an explosion of blood and skull. This man in my ear was a good shot. He had to be ex-military or something. 
 
 Suddenly, a loud voice erupted from the streets of the city; `` People of [ CITY NAME HERE ], you have been controlled by an anarchist party made up of what you people call'Extra-terrestrials' and we are taking over this planet. If you do not cooperate with us, we wil exterminate your entire species. Thank you for listening.'' 
 
 What. 
 
 The. 
 
 Fuck. 
 
 `` You've done well, David. You are free to go.'' 
 
 I pulled up my pants and 
 
 Got^the^fuck^OUT! 
 
 -- - 
 
 The end. I have no idea wtf i'm actually doing. 
 
 EDIT: formatting.
