[ WP ] Your Grandmother is an evil mastermind bent on the death of everyone in your family . You 're the only one who knows .

I know what that bitch is up to. 
 
 I can see her putting those secret `` herbs and spices'' into our thanksgiving meal. She always keeps them hidden, away high up in a cupboard, only bringing them out when it comes time to get the whole family together. 
 
 She thinks I do n't know, but I know. I Googled types of poisons that one could find at a supermarket, and it could be several things. It's funny how every holiday, after our whole family is together, we spend the next few days fighting. 
 
 She's smart. 
 
 She's not going to kill us outright. Instead she's making us hate each other. She puts hallucinogenic drugs in our food and then we eat it. Soon after we do n't know what's going on. Our unresolved negative emotional energy rises to the surface and we fight. 
 
 I almost killed my sister last year. 
 
 I had the knife in my hand, behind my back, she was sleeping on the couch. I fucking hated her. Normally we get along, but after the holiday meal, I could n't stand her. She was just so fucking obnoxious with her liberal theories. Loving the jews and the spicks like some fucking whore. 
 
 Fuck her. She just does n't understand what they're doing to this country. She does n't fucking know at all. Grandma causes all this shit. She just poisons us all with her evil drugs. Her old wrinkly hands are pulling our puppet strings, making us dance and sing and fight. 
 
 I ca n't stand it anymore. 
 
 I bought a gun earlier. I went to walmart, and I said I wanted a gun to shoot groundhogs. They gave me one. Why is it so easy to get a gun? I do n't know, but I know that grandma wo n't be spoiling this thanksgiving. 
 
 In fact, we'll all have a lot to be thankful for. I ca n't wait to see their faces when I walk out, point the gun at them and pull the trigger. Blam blam blam blam! They'll all fall down. 
 
 Yes. I ca n't wait. She finally gets her wish, she finally gets us all dead. I'll shoot myself last, in the eye, that'll be romantic. Maybe I'll paint my face before I do it, yes, that would be good. They would like that. 
 
 I have to go now, the nurse is calling, it's time for my meal again. Tomorrow they told me they were going to lobotomize me. I do n't know what that means, but they do n't know that I'll be dead. We'll all be dead. No lobotomizing anything. 
 
 I love you, goodbye.
