[ WP ] You die and find yourself in a white room before an angel , who tells you you 'll be judged by `` those who knew you best . '' You turn to see every car you 've ever owned roll single-file into the room .

`` Sarah's problem was she was an idealist'' Said the'92 Volvo with the black rubber bumpers. `` Look at all these bumper stickers-'' Here she performed a neat three-point turn to display a back bumper wallpapered with colorful tags. `` -there's no way that someone that highly principled can function in the real world. Plus, she smoked way too much weed.'' 
 
 The Saturn, the dented 4-Runner, and the flat-black Vespa all nodded. On the far side of the room, the Audi and the Benz looked scandalized. 
 
 `` Weed!?'' Said the Audi, her voice smoky and mature, `` Sarah would never! She's a D.A. for Christ's sake!'' 
 
 `` Have I got news for you, sister!'' Said the 4-Runner, shaking with laughter and sprinkling the clean white floor with a faint rain of rust. `` Let me guess- Sarah got rid of her dreads too by the time she climbed in your fancy-pants leather seats?'' 
 
 The Audi said nothing, but Sarah could feel her headlights boring into her. People were right, those halogens were way too bright. 
 
 `` Yes, ok, I used to have dreads. Is that a sin?'' 
 
 `` No.'' Said the Angel. He was lounging behind his marble-topped desk, his feet crossed at the ankles and resting on the corner of the giant stone slab. Disconcertingly, he was wearing a pair of five-toed shoes, the velcro-at-the-top kind. Catching Sarah's stare, he winked and wiggled his rubber-clad toes. 
 
 `` I let the guy who invented these in on principle.'' He said. `` You know, the best footwear ever created was made by God.'' 
 
 `` I have something to say,'' Said the Saturn. She rolled forward, brakes squealing slightly as she jerked to a too-sudden stop. `` Sarah has a good heart. Maybe she... changed a little since she was with me, but-'' 
 
 `` You mean grew up?'' Called the Benz, speaking for the first time. Her voice was haughty and cold, it gleamed as brightly as her chrome accents. `` Put aside childish things, as the Bible would say? Good thing she did- if you all cared for Sarah then you would have wanted her to be happy, for her to succeed. And clearly-'' A note of smugness crept into the Benz's voice, and it blinked its hazards coyly, `` She did.'' 
 
 `` Ohhh fuuuuck you.'' Said the Volvo. `` Look- Sarah rode around in me when she could barely drive at all- do you know how many things I've hit with these rubber bumpers? Anyway, the point is n't whether Sarah did or did not *succeed*, it's whether she kept her soul. Sarah?'' 
 
 Sarah was avoiding looking at the Volvo. 
 
 `` Are you still a vegetarian?'' 
 
 The MEAT IS MURDER sticker was placed carelessly on the back bumper, wrapping around so that the red plastic showed on the side. 
 
 `` Um, no.'' Said Sarah, still not looking at the Volvo. 
 
 The Saturn gasped. 
 
 `` I was anemic!'' Said Sarah, trying desperately to defend herself against the imperious gaze of her first two cars. `` My doctor said-'' 
 
 `` I.. I need a moment.'' Said the Saturn. `` I'm just going to roll my windows up and blast some Phish- that should calm me down.'' There was a long pause. `` You... you still listen to Phish... do n't you?'' 
 
 Sarah did n't reply. 
 
 `` I listen to Phish.'' Said the Angel, unhelpfully. 
 
 `` I think I can clear some things up.'' Said the Vespa. She rolled with a graceful putting sound into the center of the room. `` Hi, everybody. Hi. I'm the Vespa- Sara's transport during her two-year stay in Barcelona.'' She pronounced it'Barthelona'. 
 
 The atmosphere in the chamber grew chilly- none of the cars in the room seemed to know what to make of this slim, trendy scooter in their midst. 
 
 `` Sarah did a lot of growing up in Spain, she really *found* herself, you know?'' 
 
 `` Oh, God.'' Said the Audi. 
 
 `` Spare us.'' Said the Benz. 
 
 `` *Anyway*,'' The Vespa's tone grew more icy. `` I think you're all holding on to Sarah as you knew her- your favorite Sarah, when really, she's all of those people. The idealist and the pragmatist. The sinner and the saint. We had some wild times in Barcelona, by the way you must visit, it's gorgeous-'' 
 
 `` Get on with it!'' Called the 4-Runner. 
 
 `` -and I can say that, although she's not perfect, I think Sarah is fundamentally a good person.'' 
 
 There was a general muttering from the assembled cars. 
 
 `` Meh.'' Said the 4-Runner. 
 
 `` Yes.'' Said the Saturn, emphatically, her voice still obviously wobbling with emotion. 
 
 `` Yeah, I think so.'' Said the Volvo, although she sounded as though she had her doubts. 
 
 `` You ca n't prove she is n't.'' Said the Audi. 
 
 `` That's a double negative.'' Said the Benz in a condescending tone that did not endear her to anyone. `` But yes, I think she's a good person.'' 
 
 The Angel nodded slowly, wiggling his toes in a thoughtful way. 
 
 `` Ok.'' He said at last. `` Here's your holy garage door opener.'' He tossed Sarah a rectangular device with an oval button in the middle. `` Do n't lose it.'' 
 
 `` What happens if I lose it?'' Said Sarah, her voice tinged with fear. 
 
 `` Then we have to reprogram the gate to Heaven and give everyone new clickers and it's a real pain in the ass.'' Said the Angel.
