[ WP ] you were given the choice of immortality , and you took it . Now , millions of years later , you are floating in space . Alone with your thoughts .

I knew, when they gave me this choice, that I would outlive my loved ones. I knew I would find new loved ones, and they would die on me too. I understood, in some small way at the time, that it would be painful. I thought the beauty of the world would make up for that pain. The pain that was unimaginably more impactful than I imagined. 
 
 In some small ways, it did help. For all its follies and faults, humanity was amazing. I saw the colonization of mars. The launch of manned missions that were never meant to return to earth, and never did. I saw the failure of ‘ mutually assured destruction ’, and the fallout from barren wasteland that was Russia. Somehow, even war-mongering man seemed to realize its mistake, and countries rapidly agreed to dismantle their weapons. 
 
 I saw first contact. I saw the blurring of country borders as we were quickly forced to become the people of Earth to maintain our human concepts of strength and dignity before these strangers. Through it all, I watched. I never meant to play an important role in the events of history, and I never did. My age did not give me any wisdom aside from the realization of my mistake. 
 
 Even after I stopped interacting with any living being capable of interacting in turn, watching still somehow satisfied me. I would sit still for years as trees would grow between my fingers; nature would inevitably force the apathetic to make way for its kingdom. 
 
 Though she changed, my planet was my reliable companion. Empires formed and crumbled, species were conceived and then flickered out of existence. I could not say that it made me sad when she became too hot for life but me. The expanding sun covered her surface in molten flames, and though I could have left, I chose to burn my soles and live with flame on her surface. Though I persisted in living, I felt every pain worthy of death. 
 
 I had lived past delusion. I thought myself a Goddess of this planet. I thought; I hoped I would die with her. 
 
 I was wrong. 
 
 Now I am here. Surrounded by vastness and beauty. The stars never looked as brilliant as they do now. I marvel at them as I constantly suffocate. If I had strength or hope, I would end my life. I have not tried since my children ’ s death. I have not the strength to live nor the strength to die. I find myself somewhere in-between. 

