[ WP ] Describe something common as if you 're pitching it to some high level executives as a new product

`` Greetings, Comrades! It is a great-'' 
 
 `` Be quiet and sit.'' The man who spoke them was as hard and frigid as the words themselves. He was in his fifties, face lined with wrinkles and peppered with liver spots along his neck and brow. His hair was white and thinning, but these did not matter nearly as much as his well-tailored suit that had barely any holes in it. 
 
 Kervaske fought to keep his grin on his face, even as his soul whimpered under the combined glare of the Wonderfully United People's Produce Execution Representative and his four assistants. Each one was just as dour, with the same skeptical, simmering dislike for Kervaske painting their faces. 
 
 `` Get on with it.'' One of the assistants demanded. 
 
 `` Yes!'' Kervaske brought out his case and unclasped the locks, checking behind him for spies before revealing his masterwork. 
 
 `` Behold!'' Kervaske held aloft a loaf of bred, carefully cut into sections, `` Bread that has been sliced!'' 
 
 The five representatives glared more dislike in Kervaske's direction. 
 
 `` Why would we want this?'' The People's representative himself asked, `` People eat bread fine as is. Get bread from baker. Bite bread. Why do you need to cut upon it? Is the bread of the Wonderfully United People not good enough for you?'' 
 
 `` What?'' Kervaske felt the blood drain from his face, he stumbled a little and one of the perfectly slid pieces fell to the ground, `` Our bread is good. I only wished to make it even better.'' 
 
 `` AHA!'' One of the assistants rose in his seat, his massive gut pushing the flimsy table forward with the motion, `` You say that the bread of the WUP is inferior! You secret lust after the bread of the enemy. Do not deny it!'' 
 
 `` What?'' Kervaske dropped more of the bread slices, `` I- No, I just want-'' 
 
 `` What do you want?'' Yet another assistant rose, `` To share your idea of better bread with the people? You wish them to show them that bread is better *your* way? You wish to start a revolution against the government?'' 
 
 `` No! No!'' 
 
 `` DO NOT DENY IT!'' The Representative slams to his feet, `` YOU ARE A TRAITOR! The knives of foreign bread have stabbed into your soul, bleeding you dry of your patriotism. We have seen your kind before.'' 
 
 `` Is true.'' One of the assistants sneered, `` One man attempted to order us to make our food cold. He said that our good meat and bread were rotten if not cold. He was thrown into the Haglel for his blasphemy.'' 
 
 `` No!'' Kervaske dropped what was left of the bread, littering the floor with dark slices, `` I just want to help.'' 
 
 `` Yes, you are sick. Need help.'' The Representative sat down, `` Anyone who is not happy with the WUP is obviously broken in mind and spirit.'' 
 
 `` Do not worry.'' One of the assistants stepped around the table, a pair of shackles in his hand, `` We will get you help. We have good doctor at the Haglel. He fix you head.'' 
 
 `` No! NO! NOOOO!'' 
 
 Minutes later, after the screaming had faded away and the blood was cleaned from the floor, The Wonderfully United People's Produce Execution Representative bent down and picked up one of the slices, turning it around in his hands. 
 
 `` Sliced bread.'' He spat upon it, `` Who would want this?''
