[ WP ] A soldier wakes up in the medical bay of his space ship , and he now has to explain to his Captain all the Hangover-level carnage and chaos that happened on the one-night shore leave .

`` Oh, fuck...'' he trailed, writhing around from the intense headache. At first, he did n't realize that he was inside the medical bay of the GFS Daunted. That is, until his vision began to focus and the bright lighting in the room dimmed and he sat up. 
 Sitting on the bed was Crewman Nathaniel Hashing, and last night had been a disaster. 
 
 Sitting before him in a chair was his commanding officer and the commander of the vessel, Captain Denise Alistair. She had her hands folded together, features wrought up in a serious frown. `` We could get rid of your headache right away, you know that. Right now I want you to *feel* the gravity of what you've done, first.'' 
 
 The Crewman drove his palms into his eyes, trying to alleviate the pressure of the pounding in his skull. He could do little more than groan at the time. 
 
 The Captain waved for a young Ensign in the med bay to administer a dose of medicine that ceased the full effects of his hangover instantly. Then, releasing the clench in her jaw, sat back in the chair. `` Do n't bother with any formalities, either, Crewman. I could n't care less how much you respect me. Your blatant disregard for my station and your own during your escapades last night are very evident. Now, speaking of which, do tell.'' 
 
 The Crewman would rather have had his hangover back. He leaned forward on his knees, feet dangling off the side of the bed, and began to recall the night in stages. `` Yes, ma'am.'' 
 
 He took a deep breath and began. `` I left the *Daunted* at 1800 standard last night and met up with Ensign Gandil and Crewman Jennings. We went to The Gravitas Club and started drinking after some snacks. I, uh...'' the Crewman laughed, immediately regaining his composure after seeing the face of his Captain, `` had sex with a Misulan female in a bathroom stall. Then we did three rounds of shots before getting in the middle of an argument with Marines.'' 
 
 The Captain stopped him by lifting her hand, `` That Misulan female's name is Aria Dil'ik'tuban, the formerly virgin daughter of the Misulan Consulate Chief. Continue...'' 
 
 The Crewman's face went ghostly pale, and he cleared his throat. `` Uh.'' He swallowed hard, `` The argument turned into a competition and we... oh, shit.'' He exhaled heavily and dipped his head low. `` We borrowed-'' 
 
 `` You stole.'' She corrected him. 
 
 `` We stole a series of hoverbikes outside the Club to race across the harbor.'' He placed his forefinger on his temples and groaned. `` We could n't stop fast enough and crashed one of the bikes into a cargo container. That was me. I was unharmed.'' 
 
 `` But the cargo container was n't, was it?'' The Captain asked sternly. 
 
 `` Nope. No, it was not.'' The Crewman winced. `` The automated cargo container's steering mechanism was damaged, I suppose, and it crashed into the support beam of... fuck.'' 
 
 `` I do n't believe'fuck' is a strong enough expletive. You caused the destruction of the new Misulan and Human unity statue. However, you did prove our unity so well earlier. Continue.'' She rested her chin on her hands. 
 
 `` I do n't really remember what happened after that... ma'am.'' The Crewman muttered. 
 
 `` Well, let me refresh your memory.'' The Captain stated, straightening her posture. `` The statue you damaged the support structure on proceeded to collapse. A nine-hundred foot statue made of intricately carved alien stone weighing thousands of tons came crashing down into the city's shopping district. Luckily, all the shops were closed. What you did manage to do, however, is destroy the entire Misulan Consulate in the process. Luckily, again, no one was inside. Then, security footage reveals that your comrades, proud of your destruction and handiwork came back to you with a bottle of one-million Galactic Credit Misulan liquor, that put you into the stupor you were in just moments ago.'' The Captain stood up, putting her hat on. `` What do you have to say for yourself?'' 
 
 The Crewman, bowing his head still, lifted it to look at the Captain. `` I *really* do n't think she was a virgin.''
