[ WP ] What if after you die , you wake up with a bong in your hand and your alien friend asks `` How was it ? `` .

” What if after you die, you wake up with a bong in your hand and your alien friend asks ‘ How was it? ’? ” 
 
 “ One, I don ’ t have an alien friend. Two, what if you could shut up and let me think? ” 
 
 Mark cocked his hand and fired it like a gun, even blowing on it afterward for effect. 
 
 “ What if when you die, you get to spend the karma you ’ ve acquired during your lifetime? ” He sounded disturbingly excited. “ On a better afterlife! Or, or… get this… on a newborn! ” 
 
 “ That ’ s just dumb. Honestly. Why does it always have to be ‘ after you die ’? ” 
 
 “ Because that ’ s what the crowd wants. You do want people to like your prompt, right? ” 
 
 “ Yes, but what about the writers? ” 
 
 “ What about them? ” 
 
 “ Maybe they ’ d like something original? Not a rehashing of the same prompt with a slightly different take. ” 
 
 “ Dude, who cares what the writers want! It ’ s the readers that matter. ” 
 
 “ You ’ re right, screw ‘ em. It ’ s called Writing Prompts, not Writing Prompts *responses*. ” 
 
 “ Exactly! So, what if after you die, you arrive at your Grandma ’ s funeral and it turns out she was a Twitter celebrity? ” 
 
 “ It ’ s still quite dumb, but whatever. Let ’ s post it. ” 
 
 “ Well, you were too slow to decide. Someone already posted it. ” 
 
 “ Goddamn it! Well, what else do you have? ” 
 
 “ How about this: when you die, the Devil is there and so is Bob Ross, and they both have numbers above their heads… and, get this… the Devil ’ s firstborn was promised to a witch, but also to… ” 
 
 “ Hitler! ” 
 
 “ YES! ” 
 
 “ Nice one. ” 
 
 “ Thank you; I guess great minds do think alike. ” 
 
 “ Okay, posted it. ” 
 
 “ Sweet, what ’ s next? ” 
 
 “ Let ’ s post something with Gordon Ramsey… ” 
 
 “ Good idea, haven ’ t seen a prompt with him in a couple of hours. ” 
 
 “ What if terrorists infiltrated Hell ’ s Kitchen, but unbeknownst– ” 
 
 “ Unbeknownst… nice one, makes you sound sophisticated… keep going. ” 
 
 “ I know, right? Okay, but unbeknownst to them, every single one of them is Gordon Ramsey, sent back from different timelines! ” 
 
 “ Dude, that ’ s dumb! Posted it. ” 
 
 “ Okay, nice, let ’ s go browse /r/funny instead. ” 
 
 “ Aren ’ t you going to read the responses? ” 
 
 “ Why? You said it yourself; it ’ s not called Writing Prompts *responses*! Besides, check out this gif of a kid falling into a puddle. Hiiiilarious! ” 
 ***** 
 EDIT: 
 
 `` Okay, Mark, I'm done with /r/funny. Where do I go if I want to read some actual stories?'' 
 
 `` Try subscribing to /r/Lilwa_Dexel; I heard most of her stories are n't unsolicited jabs at the community.''
