[ WP ] The day after a suicide attempt

So here I am with my good friend mr Potato, whom was the first person to know about my suicide failed attempt. 
 
 So why could n't you do it - Mr potato, that fking bastard who has no fking soul, an emotionless twat, worse of the worse of humana 
 
 Cause imma fucking pussy - me, this is kinda true, ive planned dates and suicide methods, but my balls shrink to the size of peanuts when i need to do the last action. 
 
 I've always wished god would just end it you know, naturally, like a tree falling on me, lightning striking, or a car accident that would kill just me. You know, so my parents would n't feel sadder than losing a child cause he yoloe'ed suicide. - me 
 
 LMFAO wHo cAREAS HAHA Xd - mr potato who was quite clearly inspired by the BabyRage dota 2 phenomenon, arteezy 
 
 Wtf man, do u even care about me? - me 
 
 Welp, not really - mr potato 
 
 There was some silence.... 
 
 Well.. you know, they say uhh.. bad people live forever... you know cause uhh.. so they have time to repent for their past mistakes, and become a good person, and hopefully go to heaven or whatever it is his or her religion is, or be reborn as a fucking genious black man with a huge dong, who made it in life without rapping. - mr potato 
 
 Omg wtf mindblown - me thinks 
 
 So yeah, you know, if u live life aa a good enough person, maybe death might finally come - mr potato philosophysed. 
 
 WOAW - me thinks, mr potato was n't such a crappy person after all, he had some human emotions after all, maybe, god knows what humanity actually means. 
 
 With my mind blown, and tears of fucking self pity and hatred fueled by the miserable me, I decided to try my best and become a good enough person. One fking fine day, death will greet me and I will elcome him with open arms. Till then, I will try my fking best to be a better son, friend and human to all those around me. 
 
 I'm sure mr potato would be proud of me. 
 
 I'm still here after all, feeling like shit, but at least, even if all the good deeds I have done in life were for the sole purpose of earning brownie points with death so he can take me, the people around me would be a tiny bit happier with having me around ( hopefully ). 
 

