[ WP ] Years ago , you promised your firstborn to a witch . Since then , despite your best efforts , you ca n't seem to get laid . The witch is starting to get pretty pissed .

A familiar popping sound rang in Liam's ears from the other side of the shower curtain. 
 
 
 `` Jesus Christ, could you knock?'' Liam asked, leaning around the moth-eaten once-flowery curtain, and wiping shampoo from his eyes. 
 
 
 A short woman, with black beady eyes and a large hooked nose glared back at him. Her stringy black hair was tied in a loose bun. White streaks shot through it at obscure angles; and some strands of it lay hooked behind a large ear, laden with at least six piercings. `` I do n't know Liam, could you get laid?!'' the witch snapped. 
 
 
 Liam sighed, and drew the shower curtain back across the rail, turning his attention back to his hair. `` This is getting ridiculous, Susan'' he said matter-of-factly. `` You ca n't just keep barging in here. What if I *did* have a woman over? She'd bloody well be leaving now, would n't she?'' 
 
 
 `` Oh, please'', the witch said, leaning back slightly and peering through the door to make sure they were alone. `` You have n't had a woman in this apartment for at least a month. Look at the state of it!'' she snorted. 
 
 
 Liam switched off the shower. `` What do you want me to do?'' he asked, stepping out from the cubicle. The witch handed him a towel, making no effort whatsoever to avert her eyes. 
 
 
 `` I want you to honour our deal, Liam. You know that there will be consequences if you let me down...'' she tailed off. Liam's eyes widened as he felt a strange tickling sensation in his nose. 
 
 
 `` Alright!'' he shouted, alarmed. `` Alright, I just need a little time.'' The witch smiled, revealing several crooked yellow teeth. `` I could give you some.. uh.. help... if you need it...'' she drawled, her eyes flicking down to his towel. 
 
 
 `` That wo n't be necessary, thank you'' Liam snapped, his ears turning pink. `` I could get a girl, I just have n't found one I like'' he said unconvincingly. The witch rolled her eyes and strode out of the room, snatching his phone up from his dresser. She brought it before her eyes and began scrolling through contacts. 
 
 
 `` Here we go, Tiffany, she sounds lovely!'' 
 
 
 Liam looked at the little old witch in disbelief. `` That's my sister, you doughnut.'' 
 
 
 `` Ah, right.'' Her thumb whizzed across the screen. `` What about Rachel?'' 
 
 
 `` Oh I have n't spoken to her in years, I..'' Liam began, sitting down on his bed. 
 
 
 `` It's ringing'' the witch grinned, throwing the phone on the pillow beside him. 
 
 
 `` Wait I..'' 
 
 
 `` Hello?'' A woman's voice blared out from the phone. Liam picked it up slowly. `` Uhhh, hi Rachel, it's Liam'' he hesitated, looking to the witch for support. She gestured at him encouragingly. `` Go on!'' she mouthed. 
 
 
 `` Liam? Liam who?'' the voice responded, before he could continue. 
 
 
 `` Liam.. Liam Braxley'' he answered nervously. `` I used to work with you at Grundenby's.'' 
 
 
 `` Ohhhh, I remember! What can I do for you Liam?'' she asked. 
 
 
 Liam gulped and closed his eyes. `` You... I... I thought maybe we could catch up a bit, you know, over a coffee or something'' he stammered. 
 
 
 `` Oh! Well, sure I guess. Listen, I'm in the middle of something. Can I call you back in five, and we'll arrange the details?'' 
 
 
 `` Yeah, of course, speak to you shortly'' Liam said, relief washing over him as he hung up the call. The witch gave him a toothy grin. `` See? Was that so hard?'' 
 
 
 `` I guess not'' he smiled. `` I suppose it was n't such a- Hey!'' The witch was unplugging his television and lifting it from it's stand. `` What are you doing?!'' he roared. 
 
 
 She peered around the television at him, red faced from the strain of carrying it. `` What? You nearly cracked just calling the woman. It's time I started taking out an insurance policy!'' she cackled, waddling through the doorway.
