[ WP ] After brushing your teeth in the morning you go downstairs to fry an egg , but when you try the frying pan buzzes at you and text appears reading , `` level 18 cooking required to use object '' .

In time, you learned to go where the words were not. Levelling up was like having birthdays - just wait around long enough and you'll get there - but it was a bit inconvenient to have to wait. If I had a choice I ’ d skip all the tutorial stages of life, but this wasn ’ t an option, at least in this particular map. Everything was like a video game - scripted, pixellated, pre-digested - and you were at the whim of the player controlling you. 
 
 The funny thing is, even though no-one seemed to know, or remember - I remembered. I remembered a time when this was n't the case, when we were n't restricted by birth or skill or choice to use items only we could use. Once upon a time we could walk up the stairs without having to wait for Level 2 walking and the obligatory +5 balance boost. 
 
 Anyway I'd forgotten all of this when I tried to fry an egg this morning. 
 
 I reached for the pan, but the pan buzzed. There it was, in Comic Sans to boot -'Level 18 cooking required to use object. ’ God only knows if it was put there to annoy me specifically - but it was having that effect. 
 
 *They sure have levelled up. * Previously it was level 15, or at least I swore it was level 15. I was able to use this skill not two mornings prior. As it stood, there was nothing for it but to grind... and grind. 
 
 I looked around for eggs to crack. There were maybe a half-dozen left in the fridge, and I plucked two of them out, waving away the text. *Egg-cracking tutorial*, it'd read. Yeah, yeah - skip. 
 
 My hands were steady enough when the eggs broke. I thought it sounded more like china breaking, not eggshell - but whatever. The world's been a bit weird recently. 
 
 In the background, orange and green numbers floated up from the bowl as I cracked the eggs. +5! +10! BONUS POINTS! As weird as it might seem, there was a strange sense of comfort in knowing you were doing the right thing. A weird... satisfaction? Something in the grind that tells you that you ’ re doing a good job? The psychological linking of action to reward that gave rise to satisfaction? Anyway, it didn ’ t take long before I finally levelled up. 
 
 I reached out for the frying pan, and this time the game didn ’ t block me from touching the pan. A rumbling sounded outside. It was going to be another cloudy morning. I poured a bit of oil into the pan and went to get something else. 
 
 I didn ’ t notice the puddle of water until it was too late. 
 
 The second my feet made contact I knew I had made a mistake. I was slipping, falling, waiting for the screen to flash up and freeze me, give me my five second penalty for carelessness- 
 
 -but I felt my arms smash against the floor. 
 
 “ Whaa- ” 
 
 I looked around. Everything else seemed like normal - the skies were still grey, the oil was still smoking - but nevertheless something had changed. There had been zero protection. The game had not stopped me - it was conceivable I could have died. And then I saw the words. 
 
 “ Fix reality goggles? ” I whispered. `` Wait just a moment...'' 
 
 The words had flashed briefly across my world. Curiously enough, these were in Times New Roman, and they lasted nowhere as long as the Comic Sans level up notifications - but nevertheless they were there. 
 
 *Great. Time for a short detour, then, * I thought. But then something else struck me, a thought so powerful I immediately switched off the induction stove. 
 
 *If my reality is broken... then does that mean I can do anything I want? What kind of a world is out there? * 
 
 “ Yes, ” a voice spoke in my head. “ The goggles were meant to protect you from doing stupid things. For example, you are currently floating two feet above the ground. ” 
 
 I looked down, and I felt dizzy - there was daylight between my feet and the ground. And immediately I knew something had gone dreadfully wrong. 
 
 -- - 
 
 r/KCcracker
