[ WP ] To prevent only the dumbest people in the world from reproducing , everyone is implanted with a birth control device during puberty . It can only be deactivated once it 's been determined you are intelligent and stable enough to raise a well-adjusted human being by an `` Auditor '' . You 're an Auditor .

`` Why hello,'' the couple says in unison as the door opens. 
 
 *-1 Staged welcome* I write into my pad. `` Hello, I am Auditor Kline, and I am here to perform a home as the final task and final interview to complete your Request to Reproduce. I take it you are Richard and Susanne Hunt Jr?'' 
 
 `` Why yes we are,'' Susanne says with a Southern twang. 
 
 *+1 Candidates are presentable and polite* 
 
 `` But you can call me Dick.'' 
 
 I stare at him for a moment. `` Dick... Hunt Junior? Is that a family name?'' 
 
 `` Yes sir,'' Dick said. `` Hoping, to continue to pass down the name.'' 
 
 *-2 Name will traumatize child* `` Well okay Dick, do you mind if come in?'' 
 
 `` Oh certainly come in,'' Susanne says stepping aside, pushing Dick out of the way as she did. 
 
 I strode into their living. It was a fair size, with one couch, two chairs, and a small table in front of a very modest television. 
 
 *+2 Living room appropriate and in good state of cleanliness* I caught Susanne trying to peer over shoulder at my notes, but she played it off as though she were trying to gain my attention to ask a question. 
 
 `` Care for something to drink? Tea? Coffee'' 
 
 I looked at her for a moment, but an innocent, almost dumb smile hung to her face. `` Just a glass of water.'' 
 
 She walked briskly away. 
 
 Turning to Dick, `` Could you give me a tour?'' 
 
 `` Yes, yes of course,'' Dick said, putting an arm against my back as he lead me through the house. 
 
 *+2 Dining room is neat, orderly, and equipped with a high-chair* 
 
 *+2 Kitchen is clean, base cabinets are child-proofed* 
 
 *-1 Susanne returned with a plastic water bottle* 
 
 *+1 Child gates at the top and bottom of stairs* 
 
 *+1 Baby's room fully prepared* 
 
 *+1 Toys to enhance cognitive function, selection of books* 
 
 *-1 In bathroom, cabinet under the sinks is not child-proofed, couple is clearly embarrassed' 
 
 *-1 Axe body spray in medicine cabinet, Dick is clearly embarrassed* 
 
 *+1 Candidates' bedroom orderly* 
 
 *+2 Couple has framed tickets from a Foo Fighters' concert, claim it was their first date* 
 
 `` I imagine you two had quite a good time,'' I said cheerfully. `` Why do n't we head back downstairs for the interview?'' 
 
 `` Of course, right this way,'' Dick said. 
 
 `` Oh I'm sure he knows the way,'' Susanne said curtly. 
 
 Walking through the living room, I noticed some photos hanging on the wall. Pictures of Dick and Susanne in different landscapes. `` Do you travel often?'' I ask. 
 
 `` Yes we do,'' Dick said proudly, adding quickly, `` but not too often. I mean too frequently. We can no problem staying in place to raise a family.'' He might've continued had he not caught Susanne's grave expression. 
 
 `` Of course,'' I said, turning back to the photos. They were well-traveled. *+2*. The Eiffel Tower, Yosemite National Park, Buckingham Palace, The Golden Gate Bridge, Mesa Verde, the Parthenon, a lake somewhere. `` I'm sorry, I do n't recognize this one.'' 
 
 `` Oh that would be Loch Ness,'' Susanna said politely. 
 
 `` You know,'' Dick began slowly, `` we had quite the run in with a local during that trip.'' 
 
 `` Excuse me?'' I asked. 
 
 Susanna was holding in a laugh as Dick continued, `` Well Suzy and I were standing there, just took that picture actually, when this girl walks up along the shoreline.'' Dick was smiling, Susanna looked to be biting the inside of her cheeks. `` And she just stands there, looking at us. It was quite bizarre, so I ask her if she needs something. And she tells me,'' he pauses to chuckle, `` she tells me she needs some money.'' 
 
 Susanna was giggling. I raised an eyebrow to Dick who just continued on. `` So I ask her how much money she needs. And she tells me she needs'tree fiddy','' Dick pauses to laugh, Susanna is in hysterics, `` which was about the time that I notice this girl is about 500 feet tall and from the paleolithic era!'' Dick shouts as he burst out laughing. 
 
 Susanna is bent over, red in the face. 
 
 *Couple of Redditors. Request to Reproduce denied. *
