[ WP ] Take a Phrase Leave a Phrase

The bedside clock is flashing *12:00*, must have been another power outage. I get up and judging from the darkness I'm guessing it's about three in the morning. My house is a wreck. I have n't cleaned it in months. Whatever, like it matters. Making my way to the bathroom a discarded set of car keys finds their way into the bottom of my foot. I swear. The light in the bathroom comes on with a `` ping'' as I let go of the tiny string that controls it. The face I see in the mirror looks tired. I lean over the sink and give my chin a good rub. I reach down and pick up my mustache comb. It was a gift to me from my father before he passed away. Prior to that I never had any facial hair, I hated growing it. it's so itchy. But after he died, I dunno. I guess it's a way for me to remember him. I pick up the comb and run it through the bristly hair on my lip a few times. Do n't know what it is but doing that always relaxes me. Back to bed and I'm asleep like a cat laying in the sun. 
 
 The sun wakes me up. I may have been a bit too cat-like, I slept half the day away! Curses, I ca n't seem to make my limbs move fast enough as I'm trying to jam my arms into my coat and shovel my feet into my shoes. The boss is n't going to be happy about this. I grab my tiny comb and throw it in my briefcase before bolting out the door. 
 
 Lucky for me I had a good parking space. In another minute I was in my car and pulling out onto the street. Traffic was bad. I could n't see far up ahead but right in front of me there was a whole line of cars that were n't moving. 
 
 I turn on the radio. Nothing but people talking. I hate radio DJ's, they try so hard to be edgy but all they do is sound like assholes. I wish someone would just say something real. God why is there no good music anymore? Whatever, I'll just leave it on NPR. I leave my hand on the radio dial just in case I need to change it. There's a guy talking about the local zoo. I try to pay attention but I'm distracted by all the people outside yelling. 
 
 I look up and see most of the people on the interstate have abandoned their cars. I look around and swear. There's no way I'm getting to work now. Fortunately I did n't have very long to wonder what my boss is going to do to me as the ground beneath my car begins to shake. I look up and hurtling towards me is a giant bright pink elephant. I blink. I swear. I swear again. 
 
 The locks in my car have this way of not opening when you really want them to. It's like they know when you're experiencing urgent panic and they think it's really funny if you ca n't get out when you need to go to the bathroom or you're trying to get out during a heatwave so you can get inside a nice air conditioned building. 
 
 The giant pink elephant is about four cars away from me and I'm on the losing end of a thumb war with the damn door lock. I can feel the shudder of a car's frame crumbling beneath the weight of the elephant's massive foot. One of the beast's toes ( if I can call them that, do elephants have toes? I do n't remember ever studying elephants in my high school biology class ) looks to be about the size of Shaquille O'Neal. It takes the elephant being almost on top of me for my mind to truly understand the scale of the thing. 
 
 Finally my car seems to understand how dire the situation is as the locks relinquished their hold on the door. I spill out onto the street just as the leathery house crushes my car like a frat boy crushing an empty beer can. 
 
 I run. I run until I ca n't hear the elephant's terrible screams any more. I run until I'm miles away from the devastation. I run home and I run up all 5 flights to my apartment. I grab my spare key from above the door frame and I'm inside and I dive underneath my bed. 
 
 I never did learn what happened with that pink elephant. Everyone just sorta seemed to act like it never happened. A few days later a tow-truck showed up to my house with my smashed up car. I tried to get my briefcase out but it was a lost cause. 
 
 I guess I'll have to find a new comb. 
 
 **I tried to tell her that I love her, but she had already let go of the rail. **
