[ WP ] Breaking news around the world as a dank meme melts a steel beam . Chaos ensues .

Leaning back in my chair, a wisp of smoke emanates from a crack in my dried thin lips; a hot cigarette pinned between them. Before me is a screen fed directly by a camera behind the large concrete walls of the testing chamber. Hours, days, weeks of contemplation have led me to this point. 
 
 `` They said it could n't be done,'' a half smile creeps on my weathered face, `` They said I was crazy.'' My thoughts continue, `` who's laughing now?'' I turn to a laptop on my left and activate the webcam. The entire world is watching my stream. The entire world is watching, waiting, eager like a child reaching for cotton candy freshly spun on a warm night at the county fair. Exactly where I want them. 
 
 `` People of earth,'' I proclaim, `` its time.'' I switch the feed to the direct link in the experimentation room. The blank whitewashed concrete walls shine in the fluorescent light, highlighting the main attraction, a long, thick, black beam of solid steel, luminescent and brilliantly displayed, hanging on chains from the ceiling above. I quiver in excitement. A moment passes, as if time had frozen for 7 billion people. As if you had time to walk about the living rooms of everyone on earth without anyone noticing, without anyone even blinking or turning away for one second so that they do n't miss what happens next. 
 
 Slowly and delicately a projection screen lowers, inching its way down, drawing out the anticipation, intensifying the excruciating agony of our world's ever shortening attention span. The room suddenly goes black, totally pitch black darkness, not a speck of light save for a tiny dot on the projection screen. A tiny dot, whitely illuminated, glows on the screen, soon followed by the words'look here.' The nation, still fixated in its gaze, on the brink of catastrophic collective stroke, stares at the dot. 
 
 An image then appears, this image. http: //bossip.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/sleevery.jpg? w=700 
 
 Sitting in my chair, relaxed, coherent, sane, and in stable nature, I narrate, `` I am death, destroyer of world's.....trade center 7.'' 
 
 The beam of steel suddenly begins to glow in the room, only lit by the light of the projector. The beam bends and twists as incredible energy is poured into it from an unknown place. The beam soon begins to heavily bend and liquefy, to the utter amazement of the entire world. The transmission is then cut. 
 
 They say the earth shook that day. They say the collective mass of the entire population jumping at once caused the earth to move in its orbit from the kinetic energy. They say half of the earth's disabled population was caused by the violence of this event. I, myself, do n't really care. Being such a high ranking official, I'm pretty much immune. I'm just glad I was able to get this off my chest. 
 
 `` Laura,'' I shout, `` Get me another glass of sweet tea.'' 
 
 `` Ok dear,'' she responds, smiling, from the kitchen, `` Anything for you George.''
