[ WP ] You decide to get a dog one day so you go to the pound.You were n't looking for anything crazy so you go for the average looking dog . You take it home and everything is normal for a week until you took an early leave from work to find your dog was actually a mooching human that morphs .

`` Aw jeezus'' 
 
 Standing in front of me, naked as the day he was born, was a tall long lanky man. Lanky described him best. Long arms, long feet long toes long.. ahem. Long hair, long beard. No, perhaps long was a better description for him. Even his face seemed to droop, sullen and deep, the eyes that seemed to rest in the deep cavities below long eyebrows stared at me, wide open and bloodshot. Like a deer caught in headlights. 
 
 `` Who the hell are you?'' I said, my voice calm as an icy spring. Chill as the milk covering MY frosted flakes in MY bowl held by.. HIS long, lengthy hands that could probably cup the bowl twice over and leave room for more.. 
 
 `` I... uhm... well y'see I'm...'' Thin taught lines pressed against his slim mouth nestled between two clumps of bushy hair. 
 
 `` Well.. ya see.. it's not a very simple solution to a question like that. Quite a hard question, really, I mean who ARE we really? Hell indeed.. it seems to me dat -'' 
 
 `` Enough!'' I roared. The shock made the man drop the bowl. In slow motion it tumbled downwards, milk arcing across the floor as it shattered against the laminate flooring, splashing up the front of my suit dress. It was my turn to be shocked. Deer in headlights would n't do it justice, as I was told later. No, more like a hot angry potato that decided to explode in the microwave, just to spite you. As they are want to do, I was assured. 
 
 `` Now now'' the naked man said, attempting to mollify me with gentle gestures, his hands moving in an exaggerated fashion. It only served to fan the flames of my anger. 
 
 `` GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! NOW!'' I screamed, the noise tearing from my throat like a horrible screeching scraping demon. `` Why?!'' he said, his long eyebrows shooting up. `` I did n't get to tell you my story! I live here too!'' 
 
 I stopped, mid stride. I must've been heading to grab a hold of his scruffy neck and throw him out by force without thinking, but this stopped me dead. 
 
 `` You what? I do n't remember getting a dirty homeless smelly old Irishman as my tenant- `` 
 
 `` Now now `` he interrupted, irritation colouring his voice. 
 
 `` First of all, you washed me last night so I ca n't smell, and 2nd I'm not old, I'm just shy of 23 thank you very much and second, of course I'm fucking Irish. It was in the name you great big moron.'' 
 
 He was panting. Without thinking, probably, his tongue began to loll out of his mouth. Mad man was the thought dancing around in my head as sweat dripped down the small of my back. Absolutely mad. I was in serious trouble if I did n't handle this very carefully. 
 
 ``..Wash?'' I said, trying my best to smile graciously like you would at a child. `` Aye, wash. Remember? That stupid soap stung me eyes a right hellish way it did. You even fell in too and we had a right wee tumble around.'' 
 
 My voice choked as I tried to force something out. All that ended up arriving was a strangled high pitched laugh. 
 
 `` I didn't.. we.. didn't.. ahem.'' I tried, very hard to compose myself. My head felt fool of wool and fur, his mannerisms were far too confusing, the situation beyond compare to anything else in my life. 
 
 `` Yes, yes you did. I remember it quite well because I hate being washed. Hate hate hate. But you forced me down and under the water, you used that shower head in horrible terrible ways. I'm shivering. Look at me, positively shivering reliving last night.'' 
 
 I felt a hot blush creep from the back of my neck up to my face, filling it to the brim. Rage and embarrassment mixed and combined into some sort of new emotion until I pushed it down, saving it for when it was needed. Cold cool logic overcame me as I stopped and took stock of the situation, wracking my head trying to think how this situation had unfolded. 
 
 Why was a man in my living room accusing me of doing things to him that I would never in a million years dream of doing. What was the common thread here? 
 
 You know that story where a light bulb appears over someone's head when they get either an idea or an epiphany? Well mines was no mere bulb. It was like a foghorn exploded inside my head, bursting forth in a wave of sound and fury enough to deafen a man ten times over with the realisation. 
 
 ``... Chewie?'' I said, my cutting into the silent tension the room held, hovering between us. 
 
 `` Oh here we go'' said the long hairy man. `` You think that's an original name, eh? I heard you chuckling to yourself when you called me that. I'm not even brown you fool! I was an Irish wolfhound for god's sake. They're grey are n't they? Chewbacca was brown. Ye dolt.'' 
 
 I could feel my eyebrows shoot up, trying their best to escape my skull. `` But you.. is.. Can you explain? Please?'' I said, the last word more pleading than I head meant. 
 
 `` Well.. ya see.. since I'm caught.. I'm a moocher, ok!? You caught me red handed. I can turn into a dog, an Irish wolfhound specifically and sometimes, when I have some down time between.. jobs I like to find a family to stay with a year or so. Sometimes a good lot takes me in like yerself and.. I can live good for a while, off the streets. 
 
 There was no getting around it. Dumbstruck I walked towards Chewie slowly. `` You really do look a lot like him'' I said, as I stroked his beard. `` ye think so?'' he said, incredulity lacing his voice. Muttering, Chewie turned from me and began to pace among the broken shards and soggy cereal on the floor. `` Must be loosing my memory of what I used to look like'' he said, more to himself than me. `` So what, you were just going to walk out of my life when you were done with me?'' I said, sadness filling the void left by my fleeing anger. 
 
 Chewie stopped and turned to look at me, drinking me in with his eyes. `` Oh lass, it would n't - `` Freezing, he stared through me, the gears in his head visibly turning before he turned and bolted for the couch, slipping over it, he went tumbling through the air and landed behind it with a thud. `` Holy jeezus, I've been stark nakkid talkin to you lass and you ai n't got the decency to avert yer eyes!?'' 
 
 I laughed. Harder than I ever had before. Somehow in trying to bring a bit of companionship to my lonely life I managed to find the strangest most unique'dog' in existence. 
 
 Chewie joined in shortly after, our laughter tinkling across the room, dancing off the shards of broken porcelain laying on the floor. 
 
 I was hoping for a best friend and someone who would look forward to me coming home. 
 
 What I got ended up being much much more. 
 
 
 
 

