[ WP ] Mr. Rogers and Bob Ross are neighbors , and get into a feud over property lines , and now hate eachother in the most polite and kind way possible .

'I say, Mr Ross, what the devil are you doing out there?' Mr Roberts said from his porch. 
 
'I am putting up a fence, Mr Rogers. I do believe it is my right as it is, indeed, my garden.' 
 
'I do not mean to be rude, but your fence appears to be intruding upon my property.' 
 
 Mr Ross chuckled politely.'No, no, no. You see, Mr Rogers -' He points to a tree standing between both of their homes.' - that is my tree. A fine young elm if I do say so myself. Therefore, my fence must encompass that tree within my garden. If I move my fence further back my way, the tree will be on your side, which is ridiculous as it is my tree.' 
 
 Mr Rogers was flustered. He stepped into his house, pulled on the outdoor jacket he picked from the coat hanger, and marched outside to confront Mr Ross. 
 
'Ah! Hello again, Mr Rogers. Out for a morning stroll, are we?' Mr Ross said. 
 
'Mr Ross, did you just say that tree belongs to you?' 
 
 Mr Ross smiled genially.'Why, yes, of course I did. It is my tree after all.' 
 
'No, I'm afraid it is not,' said Mr Rogers.'That is my tree. It always has been. Wherever did you get the idea that it was yours?' 
 
 Mr Ross laughed.'Oh, I do apologize, sir. You have gravelly misunderstood our neighborly arrangement. That tree is mine, no doubt about it. This fence is also mine, as is this strip of land. I am merely marking out the border between your garden and my far superior garden.' 
 
 Mr Rogers clenched his fists to maintain his composure.'What are you trying to say, sir? That my garden is not visually appealing enough for you?' 
 
'Look at those hideous plants!' he cried, pointing at the limp clusters of dark green weeds sprouting through the overgrown grass.'No disrespect to you, my good man, but passers by are compelled to rub their assaulted eyes when they see that dreadful patch of weeds you call a garden.' 
 
'You have wounded me, Mr Ross. I shall not forget this insult to my precious weeds!' 
 
'Have you considered hiring a gardener? You clearly have no talent for it yourself and, therefore, no right to this strip of land between our homes. The better gardener gets the lions share of land. That is the unwritten rule that all good neighbors abide by.' 
 
'I will not stand here while you talk down to me in such a manner. I have a way to settle this dispute between us like gentlemen. We shall have a contest in which we will both strive to improve our gardens to the best of our ability. At the end of the challenge period we shall have Mr Peters from across the street judge who's garden is better. Whoever has the superior garden gets to claim ownership of this strip of land, including the tree. The fence too.' 
 
'But I paid for the fence!' 
 
'Do you accept my challenge or not, Mr Ross?' 
 
 Mr Ross narrowed his eyes and, after long consideration, nodded gravely. He raised his gardening hoe like a soldier brandishing a spear.'So it shall be. I accept your challenge, Mr Rogers. Hoes at dawn.' 
 
 Mr Rogers returned his stare.'Hoes at dawn.' 

