[ WP ] You attend a speed dating event . To your surprise , every single one of the potential dates is an ex of yours .

The odds were astronomical they were. It was one thing to run into Carrie, a.k.a. Felipe's ex-girlfriend from high school who he had n't spoken to or seen in nearly 10 years and have the most painfully awkward conversation of his life and if you asked him it could n't get worse than running into the girl whose virginity he unknowingly took. She, of course, asked him about why he dumped her not long after they'd done it. 
 
 `` I uh, well, I did n't think you um,'' he could n't think about how to tell her he did n't really like her that much, `` it's just you were not really my... type?'' he could see this conversation happening in third person and wanted to stop himself from answering the question but there was no use in Felipe being anything other than Felipe: Foot in mouth guy ( guy^guy^guy^guy^guy ). He could see her eyes well and he just wanted the timer to ring before she started to... *DING* 
 
 The relief was short lived because, if you had asked him before he switch to the next table if it could get worse than running into Carrie Burg he'd have said no, that is until Nancy Gomez was sitting in front of him. She was crazy. Like slash your sister's tires because she's a woman who talks to you crazy and he told her upfront that he was gay, after a year of dating, and it was a lie but he was very sincere about not wanting her around anymore. 
 
 Nancy glared at him so hard Felipe could feel his face slowly melting off, or maybe it was just sweat? `` So, is this what gay guys do Felipe? They go on speed dates with women?'' she asked not rhetorically. He knew this because after about 30 seconds of silence she gestured him to answer and the sudden movement made Felipe flinch instinctively. He half expected her to stab him or something, `` I'm just confused. Right now. I'll probably get over this whole women thing, probably,'' and no ding to save him this time. This was like a nightmare, and it got worse. He heard a familiar laugh, not a laugh, it was a cackle that made his hairs stand up; Felipe had forgotten all about Nancy fuming in front of him, there was something much worse lurking at the table over. Jannie P. Schulman. 
 
 She was like evil incarnate and Felipe looked over to confirm his fears. The blonde blue-eyed B.O.H.E. ( bane of his existence ) twirling her hair nonchalantly as she bellowed that fake laugh. Felipe had n't noticed that he audibly yelped when he saw her, but it caught her attention and she looked over, `` Oh, Felipe! Hey babe,'' she winked at him. He stood up from the table leaving poor Nancy to stew in her rage on her lonesome and walked out. 
 
 Sometimes it's better to just quit while you're behind.
