[ WP ] You are asked to create a resume based on the life of any fictional or non-fictional character , from TV , or history

`` Okay, and one more thing. Write me Dracula's CV before the end of the day.'' 
 
 I blink in surprise. `` Boss?'' 
 
 He smiles like a well-fed shark and shifts his posterior on my desk. ( I resign myself to reprinting at least one memo. Nobody likes holding a buttcrack simulator to their face, and like my memos to be read. ) `` Usual format. Not over two pages. Dracula, Prince of Darkness.'' 
 
 `` S -- - sure thing, boss.'' 
 
 And so I spend a few hours going from a historical prince of Wallachia to shadier, more fictional sources, and mulling over how to mention the Bram Stoker book. Provided inspiration for? Starred in? Has his exploits recorded in? 
 
 Also, how do you record killing Turks in your CV? 
 
 Do you? 
 
 What if there are questions, later? 
 
 And... `` Other relevant skills. I can turn into a bat, a newt or a rat.'' 
 
 Does `` can not cross flowing water'' come under permanent medical conditions you should mention? Is the Order of Istvaan IV a relevant career achievement, when Wikipedia says `` according to McNeill, these actions would today be considered crimes against humanity''? 
 
 Also, who's boss gon na hire and should I start thinking about garlic bread? 
 
 Ooh, `` Allergies: garlic, religious objects...'' 
 
 No, that wo n't fly, there's this guy in HR who's bit of an atheist who'd so abuse the ability to declare an allergy of religion. ( I do n't even know if they make hazmat suits that fit a Sikh turban. ) 
 
 By the end of the day, I had the thing down to two pages. Boss smiled and tossed the print-out into an envelope, and scrawled his own name on it. `` You curious about this?'' 
 
 I nodded. 
 
 `` Well, make a guess,'' 
 
 `` Got ta be evaluation, right?'' That had to be it; give somebody a loony assignment and see if they still stick to the rules. 
 
 Heck, this might even be one of those promotion games. 
 
 `` Evaluation, sure.'' He grins. `` Stupid goons in HR needed three applicants or the process would n't start, and I want a chauffeur. Here's the number, but I do n't think this guy'll do.'' 
 
 `` Oh.'' 
 
 `` Nice paper though. Use Comic Sans next time. Go along, now.'' 
 
 `` Sure, boss.''
