[ WP ] Time travel exists , and a new form of capital punishment is introduced : Transporting the convict back to the worst , practically unsurvivable , places in human history to find yourself in . You are such a convict , and just got sent back . You will do anything to try and survive .

All my life I've been fond of cats. Small cats, big cats, their beauty always made me forgive their egoism, lazyness, and cruelty. 
 
 I wish they were lazy this time. They probably have n't eaten for days, and the screaming of tens of thousands of people in the stands probably also wo n't inspire them to take a nap. 
 
 Why did n't I pay more attention when Gladiator was on the 2D classic channel the other week? I do n't think it had a humans for catlunch-segment however. Let's try to think clearly, I probably have about fifteen seconds for that. Maybe even longer, cats take their time when they feel they are in charge. I have to be calm and assertive. No wait, that's for dogs. What's the opposite of assertive? Crap, why is that huge Bengal tiger looking at me all crazy-eyed? 
 
 The people around me seem to be panicking a lot more than I am. Should I try to cooperate or try to get them chewed to bits first? Or both? I need to win the emperor for me! And the crowds! Why do n't I do what I do best? Where on earth are the Zig Pods? Oh crap, this is the 2nd century. Is my Wonker Gear still working though? One way to find out. Why are the other cat snacks looking at me all weird? As if they've ever seen anyone activate their Wonker Gear without taking off their clothes and standing on their head. `` WONK 1! WONK 2! HOWDY DO!''. And while I regret my own lack of foresight to pick a less silly non-changeable activation line, I shoot up 15 feet in the air. Here kitty kitty! How high do these majestic creatures even jump? `` WONK FORWARD!''. `` WONK 13 DEGREES!''. 
 
 `` Hello sir emperor boss, it's a bit of a long story, so it would help if you spoke English? Let me guess, no? Do I make you laugh? What are you saying? Wonk? Yes! Wonk! Wonk!'' 
 
 `` WONK! WONK! WONK! WONK! WONK!'' It's amazing how much noise fifty thousand men can make. I guess this is how it sounded when the Chuckster first used his gear when he scored all those touchdowns in Superbowl MMMXII. It's hard to not complain about the prohibition after such a natural high. Mental note: do n't go broke within a year by spending all my Buckwinks on Geewabs. Wait a minute, these people do n't have those yet. Hmmm, I think this might turn out to be not such a bad trip after all. `` WONK 100 DEGREES! ``.
