[ CC ] Free Write , need some feedback on a story I 'm working on at the moment .

I can appreciate good description, but the beginning seemed incredibly labored to try and force the reader into the setting. The story could have been used to introduce the reader to the situation unfolding rather than having it be briefed to them outright. The conversation seems a bit unnatural and too descriptive as well. The tone in which the characters interact with one another should be interpreted by the reader so they can create the scene within their own minds rather than have it be forced. 
 
 I did enjoy the premise of the story once it got there, but you might lose some people towards the beginning if they are just going for a casual read. Plenty of potential, keep up the good work and keep writing!
