[ WP ] Tonight a spider confidently passed by me in the hallway , with it 's rear end sticking up .

He was drunk and it was ten o ’ clock. There was no moon but the room was cheery anyways, sort of comforting -- it had that ambiance Marty was always talking about. He understood that now, how important it was to control your surroundings. It was probably the best he ’ d ever felt on so little alcohol, and for some reason this made everything seem somewhat better. Yeah, the drugs would wear off and he ’ d feel a little groggy, but surely that wasn ’ t all there was to it. Somewhere beyond his apartment, or maybe even within it, was something just as lovely standing around in the light of day. He ’ d never seen it before but now he did, and he was struck with its beauty and tolerance of his shitty attitude. 
 
 The morning was just as pleasant. He woke promptly at eight and had his breakfast and all of his things set out by nine. The only reason he ’ d been drinking last night was because he was supposed to see Sarah today and he did his best thinking when sobriety wasn ’ t hindering him. Now that he thought of her he was aware of the melancholy she always brought with her, but it wasn ’ t a big deal. Maybe he could cheer her up today, or maybe they ’ d do something nice together. Still, that sadness left a pang, a soft imprint in his glow that he wanted to brush out but it was impossible. 
 
 She was at the door straight away when he rang, looking pretty in a nice yellow dress. Her face was bright and although he knew this was the make-up she wore it made the melancholy seem distant. They took the bus to downtown and then the train through center street to the Pho place, holding hands and chatting. She told him about her new little cat, that she ’ d named it Marten after their friend, and about her job which was going well. The whole time her eyes seemed watery like she was holding back tears, but she was all smiles despite this, so it was nothing, probably the sun. He was nervous about stuff like that. When their soup came she ate hungrily, seemingly ravenous, chatting and chatting about her friends and her mom, but it was starting to seem a bit strange. In the light of the restaurant he could see beneath the fine powder of her make-up light purple rings around her eyes. 
 
 Then she was screaming, tearing at her dress like a madwoman. The hot soup was everywhere; it had splashed in his face and burned him, but he hardly noticed for the millions of spiders crawling from the sleeves of his Sarah ’ s pretty yellow dress. They were scuttling along the table, an impossible amount, so many tiny legs and bodies spreading in a thick mass over everything. He yelped and stumbled backwards out of his chair, gaping in horror as Sarah bawled, as the couple were surrounded by confused Asian servers and the angry shouts of the manager coming out from the kitchen. She now stood naked on the bench, writhing and itching herself everywhere, shaking the last remaining spiders from her skin but still scratching and slapping at herself, still screaming. Through the horror, even as his lover stood shaking in nude terror, he made sure to check around the room for anyone with an erection. 
 
 When he was at home that evening having a smoke he thought about that last bit and shook his head. He considered having another drink but he knew his mood wouldn ’ t end up like the night before, that he ’ d likely just feel resentment about the whole affair at the Pho place and get into a bitchy state he didn ’ t feel like sorting through later. 
 
 Sarah had said she didn ’ t know about the spiders, she ’ d had no idea where they came from, but this seemed impossible to him. There were thousands of spiders up her dress. He just wanted to go to sleep, nothing made sense, but he was wired and he paced until early in the morning. When he finally put himself to bed he straight away fell deep into a dream. There were spiders, of course -- the whole dream was a spider -- but from the mass of writhing shiny bodies emerged something else altogether. It had six legs but he felt the creature to be distinctly human, and it introduced itself as Marten the Cat. They talked for some time, mostly about Sarah. Marten was saying something about her hair and her cute little breasts, but he was interrupted. 
 
 “ No, no, no. Nothing about that, now really. Sarah is a sweet girl. Don ’ t say things like that. What I really want to know is why she had so many goddamn spiders up her dress. ” 
 
 “ Well I honestly don ’ t know about any of it. ” Said Marten, chewing on a Barbie doll and grinning. 
 
 “ Hmm, is that so. ” They were transported to the moon. Marten had brought a space suit but the other was left high and dry. He waded in the thick red jell-o of the moon ’ s surface, then lay down in the hammock he ’ d packed away in his shirt pocket and sucked on some of the hair from the Barbie doll, which turned to glass in his mouth. While he was spitting out blood and teeth, Marten came up to him and rested one of his thirteen legs on the man ’ s shoulder. 
 
 “ It ’ ll be okay. ” Said Marten, unzipping his pants. 
 
 “ Nah. Something strange is going on. I don ’ t know what it is yet but I don ’ t think grasshoppers are supposed to come out of a girl ’ s dress. ” 
 
 “ Spiders. ” Marten displayed his purple, throbbing erection which was just like a dog ’ s. Some pre-ejaculate dripped out of it and the other Marten the cat came by and drank from it, jangling the bell on his collar. He had a white coat covered in writhing tailless-whip scorpion spawn, and was looking towards the sky just as 55-legged Marten stretched out a long, crackling limb. “ My son, look ”. 
 
 The man looked up, and was firmly slapped by a sunburned hand. It stroked him gently where it had left a red mark, and from somewhere he was given a tender kiss like the prickling of spider ’ s legs across his cheek. 
 
 He woke up with a stitch in his side and fresh mucus smeared across his pillow. Wiping his face, he groaned and turned over in bed, desperately clawing his way back into the dreamworld but he was not allowed in. The mirror was filled with his morning erection, bubbling over with spiders crawling out of it but that was just a hallucination. A hallucination? He ’ d better call Sarah. 
 
 She sounded happy. “ Jacob? ” 
 
 “ Hi. ” 
 
 “ Oh I ’ m really glad you called. ” Silence. Then, “ I ’ m so sorry about the other night. ” 
 
 “ It ’ s no bother Sarah. ” 
 
 “ We really should talk. ” 
 
 “ Okay. ” 
 
 She ’ d prepared coffee and there were some old maple cookies on the table. He ’ d never been inside her house before and had been nervous about ever doing so, but now that he was here he found it rather boring. The carpets were stained and matted, but otherwise it was comfortable enough. Sarah gave him a blank white mug while she sipped from a delicate-looking thing painted in floral, smiling at him in her sad way. 
 
 “ As I was saying, Sarah, if you ’ d just see, I ’ m not sure you can be... You know... Since I didn ’ t exactly -- ” 
 
 “ You have the test for yourself. ” Her voice was unexpectedly firm. She seemed offended. 
 
 “ Yes, yes. It ’ s just that, well, I ’ m not sure how I feel. I don ’ t think -- ” 
 
 “ Well, whatever you want, I know you ’ ll always be there for me. ” Sarah stood and cleared away some of the dishes that were sitting on the counter. He could tell she was about to cry but there was nothing he could do. 
 
 “ Of course I will. We ’ ve always been friends. Let ’ s go see a doctor, alright? Let ’ s get this confirmed. ” 
 
 “ Fine. ” 
 
 Doctor Car was curt and firm in his results. “ You ’ re a spider, Sarah. You ’ re a spider YOU ’ RE THE DEVIL Sarah you're a *spider* spider, SARAH. ” 
 
 
 
 

