[ WP ] `` Mother , Father , we need to talk . This is going to be hard for you the hear . I need to come clean . I 've been living a lie . I 'm ... I 'm Undead ''

“ Mom, Dad? ” My hands were sweaty. I knew this was going to be hard for them to hear, but I knew I had to tell them. 
 
 “ Sweetheart! You ’ re all red! Have a seat, what ’ s wrong? ” My mother ’ s eyes were kind, strong. They shimmered like the sand against the endless dunes. What child wants to break his mother ’ s heart? 
 
 “ What is it, Joshua? ” My father, always stern, stared me down as he entered the room. 
 
 “ I ’ m not … right, ” I started. 
 
 “ You ’ ve never been, ” my mother beamed, her smile wide. “ You ’ re our special angel, sweetness. You know the story. You were … touched by God. ” 
 
 “ Heh. ” I dry laugh escaped me. “ Touched by God, ” I muttered. Right. 
 
 My father set down his toolbox and dropped to one knee. “ What is it? ” His voice softened. “ It ’ s okay, Josh. We ’ ll get through this. Together. ” 
 
 The tears came almost at once. I didn ’ t mean for it to happen but I couldn ’ t stop them. “ I ’ m dead, ” I started. 
 
 “ Ha. ” It ’ s my father ’ s turn to laugh. As he stood, he turned his back to me. 
 
 So I told them the story. I told them of my vision, told them that I saw my own death, saw that I would be arrested, tried, executed. I told them what I saw, what I see, what I know – how I ’ ll be betrayed, be lost, and be reborn. How I ’ d die, and rise again somehow … undead. 
 
 It did not go over well. 
 
 “ Jesus! ” My father ’ s voice shook as his intensity grew. “ Have you been smoking that funny grass with your mates again? My God! Your mom and I told you that would make you impotent, but this is so much worse. ” 
 
 “ Visions?!? ” My mother ’ s hands were wringing. 
 
 “ Joshua, you ’ re grounded, ” my father said at last. All business. “ To your room. Now. We ’ ll have no more of this madness. ” 
 
 So I had to slip out. I had to see it through. I had to gather my friends, to sit down with them for one last bender. I bought bread and cheese and meat and more wine than any of us could have drunk. I arranged every detail of the menu – I decanted the wine and sliced and seasoned the bread. I had to. 
 
 I told them my story. I told them what I ’ d seen and what I knew was about to happen. They did not believe me. They weren ’ t ready. But I was. 
 
 I watched them as they ate their bread. “ That ’ s my body, ” I said. A couple of them laughed. They didn ’ t realize I was telling them the truth. 
 
 “ More wine? ” I poured fresh wine into each of their glasses – Peter, Paul, John and the rest of them. ” They drank. I leaned close to Peter ’ s ear and whispered, “ That ’ s my blood. ” His eyes got wide, but he smiled, probably thinking me crazy. 
 
 “ I ’ ll be arrested, tried, and hung tomorrow, ” I said to them as I raised my glass in the air. “ But that won ’ t be the end for me. I ’ ll rise again. Undead. I ’ ll find you, my soldiers, my apostles, my sons. I ’ ll find you because my blood is in you now. And you will tell the world. Remember me. ” 
 
 Jesus. Earth ’ s first zombie. 

