[ WP ] 'The old avatars had it easy with 4 elements . You , on the other hand , ' she sneered while handing me a periodic table , 'have 118 ' .

`` You have a new curium instructor,'' she told me. `` The last one has -'' 
 
 `` Cancer,'' I interrupted. `` Yeah. Funny, that. What have I got tomorrow?'' 
 
 Grabbing a list off her desk, she nodded sagely. `` I'll be taking you for mercury at eight thirty.'' 
 
 `` Are you sure?'' I said. `` I thought you were retiring.'' 
 
 She shook her head and consulted her list. `` Nine o'clock sharp. Francium. Do n't be late, OK? It's got a half-life of ten minutes and if you're late there wo n't be a lesson to go to.'' 
 
 I sighed. `` I'll be there,'' I said. `` What's next?'' 
 
 `` Nine thirty is arsenic -'' 
 
 `` *Again? *'' I interrupted. `` Come on! I was sick as shit for days after the last lesson. I was -'' 
 
 She looked at me over the top of her glasses. `` Do you want to be the Avatar, or not?'' 
 
 `` No,'' I said. `` I was perfectly clear on this point. I have no desire to -'' 
 
 `` *Ten o'clock, *'' she said firmly, `` is lead. You'll be having a new teacher. Miss Angstrom was discovered this morning masturbating in her own faeces.'' 
 
 Breathe in. Breathe out. `` OK!'' I said, brightly. `` What's ten thirty?'' 
 
 She flipped a page. `` Potassium. Do n't bring water this time, will you?'' 
 
 *'' One time,'' * I said. `` *One*. Time.'' 
 
 `` Eleven o'clock is mercury. I'll be taking you for that.'' 
 
 I frowned. `` You said mercury was at eight thirty,'' I said. 
 
 `` No,'' she said, checking the list. `` Eleven. Just before Rainbownium and Fishpasteium.'' 
 
 I threw my head back and groaned. `` Not again,'' I muttered. `` Nurse!''
