You are a superhero and your greatest ability is that you can fly ... but you are terrified of heights [ WP ]

`` Alright, this is it... I can do this'' I say to myself over and over again as I gaze upon the vast city in front of me. I somehow summoned the courage to journey to the top of my apartment building to test out my little theory, which was based around one simple hypothesis: Is it possible that I, a seemingly ordinary human being, can fly? 
 
 But I'm getting ahead of myself here, so let me back up just a bit here. I decided that it might be a good idea to write down a log of my... let's just call it a `` journey'', for lack of a better term at this particular moment. After all, I am about to face certain death in the face of scientific discovery. In the spirit of keeping the people informed of my thought process, as it is very likely I will end up face down in the middle of 2nd street, it is probably in my best interest to offer some backstory here. 
 
 First of all, I am absolutely terrified of heights. There is n't much to say on this topic other than to offer the insight that at age 6, my drunk Uncle Dan decided that it would be a fine idea to lift me upside down by my ankles and dangle me over the side of the roof of the apartment building that my parents' cookout happened to take place on back in'89. Although he was able to get a good laugh out of the matter, my parents and I were less than thrilled, and my immediate family saw a hell of a lot less of Uncle Dan after that little incident. 
 
 Shit, my hand and brain already hurt from writing and remembering that story, so let's move on. 
 
 Fast-forward to just a few days ago. On Tuesday, something strange happened. I was being a good Samaritan for a change, which is very unlike my selfish personality as those who are reading this and know me will most likely understand, to relieve a little bit of guilt that has been building up in this little thing called my entire fucking life, so I thought that it might be a fine idea to pull over to the side of the road to help out the little old lady who had a flat tire. 
 
 Upon inspecting the old woman's tire problem, I realized that the old bat had ran over several nails on the road and completely wrecked, not only one, but all four tired on her very ancient car. I was in the middle of telling her what had happened, when the rock beneath me gave out and I started to fall down the hill. 
 
 Now, this was n't a regular `` oh he's going to be fine, it's just 10 feet'' kind of hill, this was more like a `` oh... well that stupid shit is about to die'' kind of hill. I mean, this son-of-a-bitch must have dropped into Hell itself,'cause I definitely did n't see a bottom to it as I was tumbling down. 
 
 Normally, I would have given up all hope and accepted my fate, as I happen to be that kind of person that quits easily and leaves these sort of things up to cosmic beings that must have a better grasp on current events than I do, but today was different. Right before I hit the ground, I shut my eyes and accepted that I was about to die, but I did n't. This, of course, was a very strange occurrence in my life and takes the cake for the number one strangest thing that has ever happened to me, even above that one time a cute girl actually came up to ME at a bar and asked me if I wanted a drink, which was definitely out of the ordinary. 
 
 I'm definitely getting off track here, this journal is supposed to explain why the hell I am up on this roof in the first place, so back to the story. 
 
 At the end of my fall, I found myself hovering ever-so-slightly above the ground. I'm talking mere centimeters off the damn thing, but I was n't about to complain. I had survived a dangerous fall by miraculous means, but the question that has been plaguing my mind ever since was this: `` Do I possess the ability to fly?'' 
 
 So, that's basically why I am up here today, I want to answer that question. Since that day, I have tried flying in my apartment by myself. I was able to keep myself elevated off the ground for a short period of time, but not much else other than that. That is why I'm here today, I want to see if pushing myself to the limits will give my body that extra push it needs to save me again. 
 
 You might be thinking that this is an absolute foolish thing to do. You might be saying to yourself `` Why would this idiot even attempt this? Why risk his life?'' and I have one simple answer for you: If you thought you could fly, if there was even the SLIGHTEST possibility that you could, would n't you want to give it a go?
