[ WP ] Your phone is the best wingman ( playing music at the right time , calling people , etc . ) and keeps trying to set you up with this one person . It 's starting to get creative .

Ava initially thought she would surely be repulsed by returning to the scene where she had first met Nicholas, but the swing outside the library, lone and disused, brought an unexpected calm to the roiling emotions threatening to overflow. 
 
 For a moment, precious and ephemeral, as the evening grew longer and students deserted the campus, Ava savored the fleeting peace. 
 
 “ I know you said last week that you were alright… but hey, as they say, a burden shared is a burden halved, you know? ” 
 
 Ava turned, and blinked, hoping that her misty eyes would not be apparent in the twilight. “ Oh, hey, it ’ s you again. Yea, I ’ m fine, just… thinking about things. ” 
 
 When Ethan had first approached Ava a few weeks ago to offer solace, she initially had difficulties even recognising him from class. She didn ’ t know much about him – he was vocal enough, frequently meeting Mrs Parley ’ s endless demands for class participation, but he was otherwise… bland, colourless, almost vapid. Next to Nicholas, after all, how could anyone compare? 
 
 Ethan leaned against the swing ’ s support, then held out a juicebox. “ My offer still stands. ” 
 
 Ava absent-mindedly sipped the apple juice ( her favourite, by pure coincidence ), then in a fit of rebellion, decided to throw caution to the wind. She was done being hard on herself, done rationalizing the same few Gordian knots over and over again. She hadn ’ t wanted to ever speak of Nicholas again, but maybe Ethan was right, maybe she had to let it all out. 
 
 “ As you can probably guess, I ’ m not quite over… him, ” she said, hesitantly. But the first few words were the hardest, and she began to ease into the flow. “ Strange thing is, I should be happy. I know in my head that we were the two most different people there could be, it ’ s just that, for a while... I was so very sure he was the one, you know? ” 
 
 “ Focus on the good times you had, ” said Ethan, quietly. “ No one can ever take those moments away from you. Just being able to get together in the first place, that ’ s special enough as it is. ” 
 
 Ava laughed, a spurt of mirth tinged with regret. She held up her phone, unlocked it, then presented it to Ethan. “ Until you consider that we had to have help even starting our relationship in the first place! Look, this app is what brought us together. An app, for goodness ’ sakes! ” 
 
 Ava thought she would feel embarrassed even admitting it, or showing Ethan all the personal details she had keyed into the program. Curiously, she felt completely at ease. 
 
 “ See, ” she said, tapping on the screen, “ I paid a whole $ 10 for this crap. It ’ s supposed to help you find your soulmate, match you with the ideal partner. ” 
 
 “ What, you mean like Tinder? ” 
 
 “ No, no! This one ’ s supposed to be smarter than that, the next level, everything. ” 
 
 Ethan handed the phone back, the confusion written all over his face. “ Think you blew your money there. I just read the app store description for it, and there ’ s no way you are getting an advanced AI program for just $ 10. ” 
 
 Ava laughed again, her spirits lifting. Just speaking about it really made her realise just how silly the whole thing had been, and it seemed as if the wool was being cleared from her eyes. “ Well, it worked fine at first! After I fed it my profile, it searched all my contacts, and it told me that I had a 95 % match with Nicholas! Then, it started scanning his posts to tell me what food he liked, what topics to discuss with him… ” 
 
 “ Really? That ’ s pretty invasive! ” 
 
 “ That ’ s not all! It drafted messages which I could send to him, it gave me updates on the happenings in his life, and I swear, it even started playing his favourite song just as he walked past me in the corridor! ” 
 
 There was more, but Ava could not help but feel that perhaps it was all just a series of coincidences, that maybe she really was desperately looking for the signs and seeing them where she wanted to. After all, could the app really have ordered pizza for her, knowing that Nicholas was on delivery duty that day? Or could the app have booked her a seat at the cineplex, right next to Nicholas, who was there with other friends? 
 
 In her heart of hearts, these past few tormenting weeks, Ava had learned to let go. They were brilliant together, at first, two young lovers dancing around an incandescent flame of passion. But the cracks, they came through so quickly, and barely a month or two into their relationship, Ava had begun to have doubts, doubts that they were anything more than oil and water, mixing but temporarily, violently stirred as they were by the naiveté of youth. It was too late by the time Ava realised that they were irreversibly mismatched. 
 
 When they finally broke up, clashing heatedly like the sputtering fires of a dying barbeque, Ava was left with the bitter realization of exactly what she did *not* want from her partner in a relationship. She knew better now, that she wanted someone who understood her, who was considerate, who could anticipate her needs and meet them without being asked. 
 
 Problem was, where would she ever find someone like that? 
 
 It was Ethan ’ s turn to chuckle, and the sound of it brought Ava out from her reverie. “ Fine, fine, ” he said, shaking his head gently, “ who ’ s to say what the app did or did not do, right? What matters is the here and now. And, I think I know what may just cheer you up. ” 
 
 “ Oh, please, no, ” said Ava, “ I don ’ t think I ’ m up to go anywhere now, nor am I hungry, so dinne- ” 
 
 Ethan handed a book over, plopping it into Ava ’ s lap. The cover was slightly worn, and a few pages were dog-eared. “ Give me more credit than that, Ava. I know you like some time to be alone, so I thought to just cheer you up with a good book. I really like this one, it helped me through tough times, and I think you ’ ll enjoy it greatly. ” 
 
 “ How… did you know I liked to read? Or that this is one of my favourite authors? ” said Ava, turning the book around to study the blurb on the back. 
 
 “ I swear I ’ m not a stalker, but I ’ ve seen you around the library, reading whenever you got a chance. I think we may share the same tastes in books! ” 
 
 Ethan hefted his haversack, then turned to leave. “ Don ’ t stay out too late, it ’ s getting dark. And I mean it, read that book! When I come get it back from you next week, I expect a full report! ” 
 
 Ava was still laughing quietly to herself as Ethan waved goodbye. He was right, she thought, I do feel better now. 
 
 On her phone, the app analysed the last few seconds of conversation it had recorded, then, satisfied with the progress being made, shut itself down for the night. 
 
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 /r/rarelyfunny
