[ WP ] : I knew it was dead , I just did n't know when it was going to be alive again .

Say you're in the kitchen one day making bacon. 
 
 Say something starts banging on the door, the side door, the one that only friends and family use and they never knock and that's beside the point because this is banging not knocking. 
 
 Say you get the feeling that you should just let them bang on the door until they go away. 
 
 Say you find yourself socially conditioned to open any door that's being banged on and even though you have a bad feeling about it and you're not supposed to leave stuff frying on the stove unsupervised so this is just all around a bad idea you head for the door anyway. 
 
 Say you open the door and it's, well an it. An unknown. Like a human but not. 
 
 Say it tries to eat your face. 
 
 What do you do in that situation? 
 
 If you're me you say something like `` oh shoot'' then you run back into the kitchen, look for the first thing that can conceivably be used as a weapon and you swing around to face the thing except you're not big on the whole motor skills thing which comes in handy this time because you end up accidentally tossing the oil into the things face, which I'm not sure I would have thought of and probably it would have ended up all over me, and the thing makes a noise that's like a scream but that you instantly know will haunt your every nightmare for the rest of you life and then in a moment quite uncharacteristic of you you actually take advantage of a situation and while the things recoiling you cave it's fucking head in with the frying pan. 
 
 Then when it's dead you reach behind your back and turn off the stove because you're a creature of habit, a habit born of being afraid you were going to burn the house down, which seems kind of trivial, and quite possibly a good idea right now. 
 
 Then you put your back against the stove and slide down to the floor and look at the thing with it's caved in head and you look at the frying pan covered in what you're guessing is blood and you see a piece of bacon still stuck to the pan and you remember you were hungry after all, and this piece does n't seem to have any blood on it so you take it and you eat it while you stare at this thing on your kitchen floor that you've just killed while your heart beats so fast you think it's going to explode. 
 
 Say something that is pretty much humanoid but that is n't a human and is n't a human in costume comes into your kitchen and you cave it's head in with a frying pan. 
 
 How do you know it's dead? 
 
 With a human you check it's pulse. 
 
 So that's what I did. 
 
 Say you've caved the things head in and now it's lying on the kitchen and you think by all rights it should be dead, but by all rights it should n't exist so maybe it's not dead but you want to make sure it's dead because it looks like it could do some damage, so you reach out and try to check it's pulse and all of a sudden it screams again and tries to bite you? 
 
 What do you do? 
 
 If you're me you let out a high pitched scream of your own and go at it with the frying pan again until your kitchen floor is a mess of black blood and brain matter and the thing has n't got much of a head to speak of, but you feel that even that's too much so you go out to the shed, get an axe and cut the things head off. 
 
 Say you've got a headless thing on your kitchen, a mess that you'll never be able to explain but all things in good time, and the feeling that even though decapitation is pretty much your one stop shop in all your making sure things are dead needs that this motherfucker is going to get up off the floor any second now and try to tear your intestines out length wise. 
 
 What do you do in that situation? 
 
 If I can humbly suggest a solution you wrap the thing up in like six rolls of duct tape, load it into the trunk of your car, take it out to a rocky beach, douse that thing in gasoline, burn it down to ash, collect the ash, put the ash in a plastic bag, fill that bag with rocks, double bag that motherfucker, wrap it up in more duct tape then toss the whole fucking thing out into the water and hope that's enough. 
 
 Maybe make sure it does n't feed into a drinking supply because that's how you kill everyone. 
 
 Then you go back home, nearly gas yourself with cleaning supplies trying to deal with the stains and then you hope that this was a one off event and that are n't any more of those things out there.
