[ WP ] After cheating on a woman who was secretly a witch , a man is cursed with a size-shifting manhood which becomes inversely-proportional to the love he has for each woman he makes love to .

`` Doctor Screamalot, why are you retiring now? Your porn career just took off.'' 
 
 Brian looked at the blonde porn star in front of him. She was just lubbing up to give him a handjob and they were making conversation while waiting for the director to start shooting. 
 
 `` I fell in love.'' 
 
 She searched his face for any sign of joking. Let her think I'm kidding, Brian thought. He was n't about to tell her any part of the story anyway. 
 
 When Sandra cursed him he thought he hit the jackpot. He used to call her a bitch, but he should've called her a witch instead. He cheated on her, like he did with every one of his former girlfriends. And it was n't even real cheating. `` I ca n't be faithful'' he always told them. `` I like pussy too much.'' But they always thought they'd be the one. 
 
 Seeing how Sandra really was a witch Brian often wondered why she did n't put a spell on him to make him love her. Maybe she thought she was special for herself. She was n't, as she found out herself when she found him in bed with a redhead. That's when she cursed him. His dick started growing on the spot, hurting the girl. It was messy and bloody and Brian thought about killing Sandra until he got into porn. The biggest dick in the world. People were eating that up. 
 
 That was until he met Jenny in the hospital, after that headshot wound he miraculously survived. Every time Brian was in the same room as her, his dick would turn into a vagina. Which was very good, since Jenny liked pussy as much as he did. 
 
 He never knew true happiness until he had Jenny between his legs, eating him out. That's what made him decide to completely cut ties with his old life and become a stay at home sex thing, completely at Jenny's disposal. 
 
 Another one to thank Sandra for. 
 
 
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