[ EU ] Write me a scene from Harry Potter where the Vernons are actually the loving family they portray to the rest of the world , and Harry actually does go to a school for the criminally insane

“ They keep me locked up in a cupboard, you know, ” said Harry casually to the cashier. 
 She only made a noncommittal noise and glanced at Vernon, who was loading the bags of groceries into the cart. The first time she heard Harry say this, she had been concerned, but three years and countless grocery trips later had her impervious to the boy ’ s odd statements. 
 
 “ There ’ s spiders and everything. They only give me their leftovers to eat, and make me cook and clean and go to bed early. ” Harry did not seem to notice that his audience was not paying attention to him and continued to ramble. He looked even smaller than usual with the bags of groceries piled around him in the cart. 
 
 “ That will be £58.90, ” she told Vernon. He handed her his credit card and turned to Harry. 
 
 “ Now Harry, we ’ ve discussed this— ” he began to say. 
 
 “ I ’ m going back to Hogwarts and you can ’ t stop me! ” Harry interrupted. “ I ’ ll find the broomstick you hid and fly to Ron ’ s house, his family actually likes me! ” 
 
 The cashier passed Vernon his credit card and the receipt. She attempted to give him an encouraging smile but it appeared more as a distasteful grimace. Vernon nodded and started pushing the cart out of the store. “ Harry my boy, when does your school start? ” he asked, trying a different tactic with his nephew. 
 
 “ September first, of course, ” Harry replied. “ You ’ ll bring me to platform 9 ¾ and I ’ ll ride the Hogwarts Express. But first I ’ ll need to go to Diagon Alley to pick up my supplies and money from my vault. Has my letter arrived yet? I ’ ll need to know what to buy when I go there. ” 
 
 “ Harry, ” Vernon said cautiously as he loaded the bags into the car, “ today is September the eighth. There ’ s been no letter, no, err…diagonally. Don ’ t you think you would have heard from your school by now? ” 
 
 Harry stared at him. “ But…I was supposed to be there by now. ” His face began to screw up in anger. “ You ’ ve kept me from Hogwarts! Just wait until Dumbledore hears about this, he ’ ll come get me himself! ” Vernon finished loading the groceries and turned to Harry. Having had many years of practice, he was able to quickly remove the angry boy from the cart and force him into the car despite his flailing and unwillingness. 
 
 As the two drove back to Privet Drive, Vernon once again tried to talk to Harry. “ Now on Monday you ’ ll begin your new school year at St. Brutus ’. Do you remember your school? ” Harry glared at him. “ Your other school, I mean? You came home with lovely reviews last year, I ’ m sure you ’ ll have lots of fun again this time. ” 
 
 “ I ’ m going to Hogwarts, not that place, ” Harry mumbled. As soon as Vernon parked the car in the driveway, Harry bolted out and ran into the house. Vernon struggled to carry all of the groceries in and placed them in the kitchen. Petunia was in the sitting room, looking out of the back window. 
 
 “ He ’ s at it again, ” she said sadly. Her only connection to her sister who had tragically died in a car wreck was outside with a broomstick between his legs, running and jumping into the air in an attempt to fly. Vernon grasped her hand and they watched as Harry continued to jump and crash into the ground. They watched until the sun began to set and Harry collapsed on the ground, holding his broomstick and muttering “ it ’ s real, it ’ s real… ” 

