[ WP ] We finally manage to contact alien life . Turns out they 're all assholes .

The embarrassing part is that we were spending all this time, money, and energy monitoring space through all of these dish arrays spread all over the world. That is, until a bunch of wasted college kids caught some sort of weird ass signal emerging not from space but from right here in the US. An outbound signal. 
 
 And that ’ s how we made our first alien contact. And we were euphoric beyond words. 
 
 Then we traced the beacon to its point of origin. 
 
 And found - to our great and utter disappointment - that it was Dick Cheney ’ s house. And there was a giant family gathering in process. 
 
 Great. We finally manage to contact alien life right here on earth. Turns out they ’ re all assholes. 

