[ WP ] A muggle buys a magic shop from a wizard and must now cater the magic and non magic customers who come by , without completely understanding how everything works

`` Do n't you have anything more *interesting* than these parlor tricks?'' 
 
 I looked at my customer. He looked a little young to be a wizard, but he had the bearing of one. Stage magicians could be rather uptight as well, though. I tried to probe a little more. `` Do you mean interesting magic tricks, or, you know, *interesting* ones?'' 
 
 `` What? I mean, something you wo n't find in the first chapter of Baby's First Magic Tricks. Something I have n't seen before!'' 
 
 `` Oh, we've got some of those.'' I began leading him to the non-magical side of the shop. `` The more advanced tricks are in this aisle. We have a magic hat that's really popular, there's a lot of tricks you can do with it, and it comes with a...'' 
 
 `` *You! *'' Another customer had entered the store behind me. `` Are you the owner of this establishment?'' 
 
 Oh crumbs. That guy was definitely a real wizard. He was wearing a robe, for one. I do n't know why, but most wizards just do n't bother with non-magical fashion. They wear robes, or elaborate waistcoats and dresses, or some other fashion that's from the 1800s at the latest. I guess when you have the power to bend reality to your will, you ca n't be caught dead in jeans and a T-shirt. 
 
 I turned to greet him with a smile. `` Yes, that's me. How can I help you, sir?'' 
 
 He was holding a black velvet bag with a silver drawstring. `` This Bottomless Bag you sold me is defective! I need you to...'' 
 
 `` Yes, yes, I understand, come right this way and I'll see what I can do.'' Hopefully I could get him away from the mundane before he said something like `` cast a repair charm on it.'' 
 
 We stepped back to the cash register and I took the bag from the customer's hands. `` What exactly is the problem with it?'' 
 
 `` I put something in the bag, and now I ca n't get it out!'' 
 
 I peered into the bag. The interior was pitch-dark, and when I stuck in a hand, I could n't feel anything inside. Maybe it really was bottomless. He obviously expected there was a way to get stuff back out of it, though. I'd need him to show me how. 
 
 I handed the bag back to him. `` Can you try to get your item back, so I can see what's happening? What was in it, anyway?'' 
 
 `` Just some writing supplies, thank god. A quill pen, inkwell, parchment...'' He reached into the bag. `` Quill. Pen. Quill pen. Writing utensil. Writing device made of a goose feather. Hello? Are you listening? *Retrievus Contentus! * Give me my pen back, you infernal sack!'' 
 
 I nodded to myself. Apparently you were supposed to be able to say the name of an item and have it returned, but that feature was n't working. Unfortunately, I did n't have the foggiest idea on how to fix that. I'd have to fall back on my customer service tricks. 
 
 `` I'm sorry, but I get these from another supplier.'' Obviously, since I did n't have any magic of my own. `` I could exchange it for you, and I can repay your losses if it's still under warranty. Did you keep the receipt?'' 
 
 He handed over a scrap of parchment, and I scrutinized it carefully. Not just because I wanted to check the warranty; the receipt could provide a lot of clues once you knew how the magic shop's inventory system worked. The wizard who used to own the place put an `` Accountant's Helper'' charm on the cash register and record books, which recorded exactly what was bought and sold in the store. It meant that I had to do the record books with parchment and ink, but the scanning magic it used could reveal details I did n't even know about. 
 
 Case in point: The receipt listed the bag the customer had bought as an `` Actually Bottomless Bag with Portal Retrieval and Password Protection.'' That made things clear enough. 
 
 `` Aha! I know what the issue is. This was a *genuine* bottomless bag, not a bag of holding. It's a little confusing, since they're both commonly called bottomless bags.'' I hoped that was true. I had a bit of a sense for how magic worked, but I still had to do a lot more guesswork than I was comfortable with. 
 
 `` Really? What's the difference?'' 
 
 `` A bag of holding simply has an Extension Charm inside of it to carry more items. It still has a bottom, it's just farther away than it should be. A *bottomless* bag uses a spatial loop to remove the bottom completely. You put an object inside and it falls forever, like it's in a bottomless pit.'' 
 
 `` Oh, I see! So it can hold an infinite amount of items. And it uses a portal spell to retrieve the items on demand?'' 
 
 I nodded. Looks like my guess was right. `` You've got it, sir. But this model of bottomless bag has a Password Charm on it, so someone ca n't steal your items. Do you know what the password is?'' 
 
 `` No! I never set a password on this stupid thing!'' 
 
 `` Must have happened by accident.'' 
 
 `` So how am I suppose to get my things back? Is there a way to reset the password?'' 
 
 I shrugged. `` I do n't know, I lost the instructions scroll. But since it's like a bottomless pit, I suspect you might have a simple solution.'' 
 
 `` What's that?'' 
 
 `` Turn it upside down and wait for your stuff to fall out again.'' 
 
 `` Does that really work?'' He turned the bag upside down, but looked skeptical. 
 
 `` It should. It would be weird if gravity stopped working inside that bag. I mean, you'd notice something strange when you put your hand inside. It would n't feel like it was still on Earth.'' 
 
 `` I suppose you're right.'' 
 
 We sat there in silence for a few seconds, waiting for something to happen. The mundane customer paid for the magic hat and left, apparently not noticing or not caring that a man in wizard's robes was intently starting at an upside-down velvet bag. Good, that could have been a mess. 
 
 Then a thought occurred to me. `` Oh, you might want to put a Cushioning Charm down, or else...'' 
 
 An inkwell came out of the mouth of the bag at terminal velocity, smashing on the floor and spraying ink across the linoleum and splattering on the hem of his robes. 
 
 ``... Yeah, that might happen. Sorry about that.''
