[ WP ] After centuries of scheming and sinister activities , the shadowy Secret Organisation is about to gain world dominance . Every member is happy about this . Except for Jessica , the Secret Organisation 's unpaid intern .

Dear Diary, 
 
 They said writing about it would make the pain and the nightmares of being an intern go away. They say you can never completely shake off the nightmares, though. My mom got me this notebook when I started this job. `` Prevention is worth a pound of cure, after all,'' she said. So here's hoping this does the trick. 
 
 Day 1: First Day on the Job. 
 
 8:00 a.m. 
 Welp, got my new desk, got my own personal PC today. My boss, Ronnie, walked me over to my new cubicle with an ecstatic grin on his face... almost... half-maniacal. Oh, not because he was so pleased I was there. I felt a drop in the pit of my stomach of anxiety I had been ignoring all day. 
 
 He was practically shouting with the poorly-disguised exuberance. `` WELL. HERE YOU ARE!'' He said, leading me to my chair. `` CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR FIRST DAY OF OUR NEW WORLD ORDER - I MEAN, YOUR NEW INTERNSHIP.'' 
 
 He then proceeded to adjust the camera that was pointed towards my screen and the back of my head. He then blew on and wiped the blood off the second camera the monitor of my computer. Thank god there was no camera under the desk ( I later checked before sitting down ). 
 
 After making sure my computer booted up properly, said, `` IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, DO N'T ASK ME. ASK DAN.'' He pointed at, presumably the place where Dan's cube was. `` I'M GOING TO... AH, THAT IS...'' he scuttled away without a full excuse. 
 
 I heard a pop of a bottle of champagne being opened from over the break room. I guess drinking on the job is a thing, here, at BALLISTIC DOMINATION and SECRECY MANAGEMENT, INCORPORATED. Or, BDSM, Inc. 
 
 I know. 
 
 I cringe at the thought of it on my resume. I'm totally going to have to spell it out. However, seeing as how they rule the world now, I guess it's not such a bad company to have on my resume. As long as I wo n't get fired any time soon. One would hope. 
 
 12:30 p.m. 
 Had my lunch, which was a cold, tragic bologna and Kraft ( c ) cheese sammich. I know. Even my sandwich was depressed, it took a near-kamikaze dive off the table when I took it out, as if it did n't want to live any more. I try to think that this has got to be okay. I mean, I guess it's ok... I guess. I'm guessing a lot here. I googled the news today. BDSM, Inc. has officially captured all the world leaders, shut-down the banks, and proclaimed themselves the leader of the new world order. Which sounds terrible. I mean, what would the aliens say, if they knew the world was run by a company called BDSM, Inc.? 
 
 Okay, I just made myself laugh out loud. The sound of the camera just now adjusting makes me realize I should stop writing and get back to... filing the job-applications for the new world order positions that are opening over the world, now that the formerly-free world leaders are indisposed. Is that a nice way of saying, `` prisoners''? Oh dear. I should go ask my mentor, Honest Stan. I mean, he'd be honest. I think. It's in his name... nickname... whatever. 
 
 3:30 p.m. 
 
 I do n't know if the camera is catching all of my writing. Maybe I should create like a secret written code to hide my writing? 
 
 Nah. 
 
 I check my twitter account. Oh, wow. Apparently they've taken over the internet. Words you can no longer type into any social media include ( and I can write this on paper ): `` freedom'', `` revolution'', `` rights'', `` help'', `` save'', and `` me''. I guess we're supposed to refer to ourselves as the collective `` we''? Or maybe even third person, `` she''? Hum... must text message my friend, Katie. 
 
 Oh, wait. Phone lines, and all other lines of communications are down. NOW how am I supposed to let my mom know what I wanted for dinner was not the pot roast, but the chicken? Sigh. 
 
 4:45 p.m. 
 
 Ending my day at BDSM, Inc. Feeling unsatisfied, life-less, and like the soul has been sucked out of me. My brother, who greeted me at the door, wished me congratulations, welcome to the working world. He's the one who got me this gig. He's an intern too, in the finance department. 
 
 We drove home together in silence. One day down, only 364 more to go... I hope.
