[ WP ] A revenge speech for something insignificant , or useless to seek revenge for .

Behold! I have been hiding in the shadows around every corner watching your every move. I have toiled and spent hour after hour plotting for this moment. Throughout my life, I have tried to be a good person and I have stuck to a very strict code of morals. But scoundrels like you do not deserve generosity, respect, or even air to breathe. 
 
 This dagger here which was undoubtedly crafted with care from a blacksmith deserves a better victim which is why I brought a pistol. You do not deserve a heroically slow death where you have the opportunity to see your dearest memories flash before your eyes. You shall be shot in the head. It shall be quick so we can all move on with our lives and never have to worry about your kind again. There shall be no flowers for you, no mourners, not even a funeral. We will leave your body where it lay for the animals to feast upon. 
 
 You have brought this upon yourself. You could have made a difference in this world but you chose to embrace the darkness. You chose to lurk and hide and wait until I was at my most vulnerable state and attack. Do you even know what it is like to awake in terror as a stranger on tv shouts at you to buy their product? What had I done to you? Why was this so urgent? 
 
 Stupid, young, and naïve I was. I embarked on a journey to try your life changing invention. I left my job, my family, and the love of my life behind to try this product that was like “ nothing I had ever seen before ”. After time, money, and life altering sacrifices do you know what I found? I still had juice on my freaking counter. 
 
 So rather than plead for your life like the coward you are I want you to smile and shout just like that night on the infomercial. I only want to hear one or maybe even two words depending on your grammatical preference escape your lips. Sham-Wow.
