[ WP ] A new drug let 's you live a lifetime in one dream

*The perfect nightmare* 
 
 The candle lit room certainly makes for a great ambience within the study I am standing in. It must have been influenced by those movies I watched last week, period films from pre-world war one. European? It was so grand and ancient. The shelves of books complimented the room aesthetics as if I were in a library of some Lords castle. There might have been some Downtown Abbey mixed in there, who knows, memories are so fickle. 
 
 I had picked the Fromalzaline dose, and I was n't about to waste time not using something so expensive. I had gone straight home, lay in bed and ingested it straight away. The ability to improve any skill or knowledge I wanted! All I had to do was just go through a lifetime of learning within 8 hours. Not hard for me, I always oversleep. 
 
 I choose a book at random and sure enough it is the one I wanted. Advanced calculus. I pick it up, bring it to a table near the candle and began to'read'. It is n't so much reading as just'absorbing'. It's as if I ca n't see the numbers, calculations and theories, but they are pouring through my eyes into my mind, if ever so slowly. The drug is melding my mind, reinforcing the brain stems that store my understanding of the topic. When I wake up, I'll have some side-effects, but my brain will be permanently altered to such a degree that when I revisit the topic in real life, I'll have a deeper grasp and understanding of what I study, allowing me to learn faster in the real world. 
 
 I am so engrossed in my book, I do n't even hear the footsteps coming from behind me. `` Excuse me, will you be much longer?'' A soft feminine voice whispers quietly from behind, pulling my attention from my studies. 
 
 `` I beg your pardon?'' I begin to turn, and there is a woman standing over me. I do n't pay much attention, this drug does have some odd side effects. Perhaps this is one of them. 
 
 `` I said will you be much longer? Only the library will close in 30 minutes and I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave soon.'' She says it as if she has offended me. Her voice is soft and gentle, and she seems the type to work in a library, glasses and bundled up hair, long dress and a victorian top but not acting as strict as I would imagine for a librarian. Strange. 
 
 `` I'm sorry? I have to leave the library? But this is my library!'' I exclaim. The woman recoils suddenly. `` Oh, I do apologise, I did n't realise you were one of board members here! Oh, I am very sorry, please forgive me, here let me....'' 
 
 `` Wait, wait, wait, calm down, University? Board members? What are you talking about?'' I am starting to get frustrated. Why is my brain interfering with my studies? Is this some sort of latent procrastination in my subconscious? I'm so confused until the lady snaps me out of my train of thought. 
 
 `` You mean you're not on the board? Oh, thank goodness, I thought I had muddled up things again.'' She smiles and claps her hands gently together. `` Listen, I'm sorry, I know you've been studying hard and you must have an exam coming soon, but I really do have to close the library soon.'' She places her hand on my shoulder gently, and a tingle goes up my snipe, my hands clutch my book tightly, my heart races and suddenly I notice behind the glasses and the demure clothes, there lies a very beautiful woman staring right at me. My heart stops. 
 
 `` I'll tell you what though, if you give me your card, I can help you borrow it and you can take it back to your... dorm? house?'' She giggles. `` Then I can close up and you can keep reading in peace. Does that sound fair?'' She releases her hand from me, and I take a while to muster a response `` Ye... yes, yes of course, I apologise.'' I stand up and pass her the book. `` Wo n't you lead the way?'' 
 
 `` Of course.'' She smiles at me, what a beautiful smile. `` Follow me to the desk, this way.'' she gently indicates to the other side of the building. 
 
'What's your name, if you do n't mind my asking?'' I think I'm going to like this dream. 
 **** 
 
 `` It's with a heavy heart that I must report, he will not make it through the night.'' 
 
 `` What do you mean? Surely, with all his advances into mathematics, the scientific theories he has helped to bring medicine to the height of our generation, and you tell me you ca n't do anything for him?'' 
 
 The doctor fiddles with his glasses before putting them back on `` I'm sorry, but he's just....beyond his prime. Please, try to understand, for everyone that time must come, and I'm sorry to say his is tonight. 
 
 `` I'm... I'm sorry doctor, it's just so much to bear... the children will be heart broken, they'll miss him so much, I do n't know what to do.'' 
 
 `` Just....be with him. Let his final moments be filled with joy and surrounded by his loved ones.'' 
 
 `` Yes, thank you doctor, for everything you've done.'' She turns and heads to the waiting hall. `` Children, come here, it's time we said goodbye.'' 
 
 **** 
 
 I awake with a start. The last thing I remember.... 
 
 `` MADELEINE!'' I bolt out of the bed `` I'm not dead! I'm okay, please do n't cry, I'm, I'm...'' 
 
 I look around at my surroundings. My children are gone, the hospital ward, the gas lamp at the bed side, my wife holding my hand. All gone. I fall to my knees. I start to remember who I really am but at the same time I ca n't stop thinking about who I was... 
 
 I had it all. A beautiful wife, I had accomplished so much, my children were so wonderful and brilliant, the awards I received. I had forgotten I was in a dream. My'life' flashed before my eyes as I remembered everything that happened and I could n't. Stop. Crying. It was all gone. My whole purpose, everything I had done was just a figment of my imagination, and yet it had felt, so real. Madeleine, oh God. She was n't real either. I topple onto my hands and dry heave a bit. 
 
 Desperately, I reach for the pill packet at my bedside. I pull out the pamphlet inside and looked desperately all over it, to find some reason, some rhyme to this madness. Something, something, dosage, consumption, SIDE EFFECTS! There! THERE! 
 
 *Side effects after consumption may be headaches, nausea, dry-mouth* Blah, blah, blah....*On very rare occasion ( 0.000001 % chance ), patients have reported experiencing living a `` full life'' inside their dream. If this occurs, consult a psychologist immediately. * 
 
 Fuck. 
 
 The anxiety inside me was building up so much, my chest was so tight I could hardly breathe. Madeleine. She and the children are gone... no... never existed. Shit, shit, SHIT! 
 
 No... 
 
 **** 
 
 I pass my calculus exam with full marks. The test so almost so simple, it was childs play. It does n't matter. Nothing matters. I only did it because she would have wanted me to. I miss her so much. 
 
 The shrink told me like any'break-up' from a long term relationship it'll take time to heal. But because it was a lifetime, it'll be the equivalent mental strain as if my life-long partner had died. 
 
 And the worst part is, like any dream, I ca n't go back. 
 
 I walk to my bicycle at the public rack outside the exam hall. I throw my bag down to unlock the bike. `` Ow, hey watch it!'' someone exclaims. I look over and see I've dropped my book-filled bag onto someone's foot. It's a woman. 
 
 `` Sorry. Did n't see you there.'' 
 
 She looks at me. `` No, it's okay, I was n't paying attention either.'' I stand up and she makes eye contact with me. `` Have I seen you somewhere before?'' She plays wistfully with her hair and smiles. That smile. 
 
 `` No, sorry. I do n't think so. Goodbye.'' I unlock my bike, shoulder my bag and ride away, and never look back. 
 
 Madeleine.
