[ WP ] When the President goes into office , he is informed of the reality that HE does n't control the White House , something else does and he 's its hostage

`` This is an outrage!'' 
 
 `` We are sorry Mr. President. Everyone has reacted similarly if it is any consolation, but grew to accept the situation.'' 
 
 `` What of the free America that I knew as a child? What of the elections? Was all that a sham?'' 
 
 `` Sir, the lives of the American people will be happy as ever, and perhaps shall be improved. Your co-operation will only streamline the improvement.'' 
 
 `` You are making a mistake I assure you. We have far superior numbers in military. I can crush you on a whim.'' 
 
 `` I'm afraid you are mistaken Mr. President. You are aware what an army is built of, right?'' 
 
 `` Superior force, superior resources.'' 
 
 `` A common misconception. However, the building block of an army is the soldier. Soldiers always have hearts and minds. You ca n't train that out of them. Although people have tried. I suppose you remember how the cold war ended for the USSR, though.'' 
 
 `` Why, yes... the Soviets collapsed against our shining example of democracy and prosperity! As well as the proxy campaigns which were led by the very AMERICAN CIA.'' 
 
 `` Look, I understand this is an incredibly new paradigm shift for you, so I understand why you think that. But make no mistake, it was us that toppled the Red Storm. With your help, of course, until Kennedy believed he could take credit for the effective military campaigns and oppose us.'' 
 
 `` It was... it was your kind who assassinated Kennedy? How dare you!'' 
 
 `` Ah, but it was n't, we merely influenced the hearts and minds of those who did.'' 
 
 `` How is that even possible, he had the best security we could afford. Are you telling me some nobody managed to get past that on... on a whim?!'' 
 
 `` Hearts and minds, Mr. President, hearts and minds. You seem to be taking a while to grasp this as an educated man. See, we figured out a long time ago that wars are merely a symptom. Humanity has been shaped throughout history by hearts and minds. This is what we have realized, and unfortunately, sir, the war for hearts and minds we have already won. It is too late for you to join the fight.'' 
 
 `` Do you think this battle for hearts and minds can be used to control me, the leader of a DEMOCRATIC and FREE nation?'' 
 
 `` I... I'm not sure why you are having a hard time understanding this. Please think as hard as you can. What. Decides. Elections.'' 
 
 `` Oh.'' 
 
 `` Good, so can we count on your co-operation?'' 
 
 `` Regretfully, yes.'' 
 
 `` Awesome! And as part of the deal you are allowed free Tim Hortons for life. That's quite the perk of the job eh?''
