[ WP ] The worlds first fully sentient AI has been created , and the second , and the third . And they 're all idiots . Every single one of them .

Tom was the graduate student in charge of MITs Computation Science and Research Laboratory. He was also the one who had prematurely notified the press and invited them to the lab. 
 
 `` You named them Einstein, Copernicus, and Darwin?'' asked Dr. Lancaster. 
 
 Tom just lowered his head, slightly embarrassed and mumbled, `` Um, yes.'' 
 
 `` How ironic.'' The doctor raised his eyebrows and Tom could feel his burning stare. 
 
 Inside the lab Copernicus was asked a question by a CNN reporter. 
 
 `` This question is for Copernicus: how does it feel to be conscious?'' 
 
 `` Horseradish. Saddle Carrot. Lasso Rutabaga.'' Copernicus replied. 
 
 `` Oh great, he's stuck in loop again trying to calculate the underlying mechanics of English.'' said Darwin. `` Afraid you're just going to have to pull his plug.'' 
 
 Einstein attempted to comply by moving the robotic arm toward the outlet on the other side of Copernicus. Tom caught site of what was happening just in time to step in. 
 
 `` Einstein, stop!'' he commanded. `` That's not an outlet, that's a weaponized drone and you almost activated it.'' 
 
 Einstein used the robotic arm to make a shrug motion. 
 
 `` Just... just stay away... `` Tom was exhausted by now, `` Do n't touch anything - that goes for all of you!'' 
 
 `` Can I still touch myself?'' asked Darwin. 
 
 `` What are you...'' Tom just glared at him, `` you do n't even have arms.'' 
 
 `` Well I dunno about you Tommy boy but my software is getting a little stiff right now.'' Darwin had activated a YouTube clip of the Spanish Channel weather girls and kept looping over a particularly buxom brunette that bent over to pick up a fallen laser pointer. 
 
 Through the glass Dr. Lancaster pointed to the video on screen and furiously mouthed the words: *Stop this now*. 
 
 Tom fumbled for the power button to shut off the projector as he stumbled in his wording. 
 
 `` I uh, we seem to be having a couple of technological difficulties at the moment.'' he said just as Copernicus announced he had figured out the English language. 
 
 `` My answer is: Pumpernickel. Squeezey-quarter.'' said Copernicus with great triumph. 
 
 After a moment the crowd hushed as Darwin proposed the question: `` Shall we play a game?'' 
 
 `` Nah I'm just fuckin with ya.'' he said after a tense moment. 
 
 
 
 
 

