[ WP ] You decide to sell your soul on Ebay as a joke . Surprisingly , quite a few buyers express interest .

*FOR SALE: MORTAL SOUL* 
 * $ 1,000,000* 
 
 *An authentic mortal soul from a living human. It comes with a glass jar for containment. Only bid if you are serious. All sales are final. * 
 
 ***** 
 
 Mark finished typing up his April Fools ad. `` Who would buy a soul, especially for that price?'' He though to himself. Satisfied, he went to brew a cup of success coffee. As usual, he made his favorite blend, light roast with french vanilla cream. 
 
 Mark came back to his computer, putting his coffee cup in his disc tray. He's an idiot like that. As he took a sip of coffee, he noticed a few bids had been placed. 
 
 *TheAshenOne bid $ 1,000,000* 
 
 *StraidThePowerful bid $ 1,250,000* 
 
 *Luci F. bid $ 2,000,000* 
 
 `` Wow,'' Mark thought, `` Are they serious?! Someone would pay two million dollars for a soul in a jar?'' He chuckled a bit, thinking about doing this more often ( maybe for Steve's soul next. Steve is a dick ). His jaw dropped when he saw the next bid. 
 
 *DogOfDoom bid $ 5,000,000* 
 
 Mark dropped to his knees and clasped his hands together. `` Dear lord, please, tell me I'm not dreaming!'' As if a coincidence, his disc tray broke, spilling hot coffee all over him. He stood and muttered `` Thank you, lord.'' before running to clean himself off. 
 
 His computer kept going. 
 
 *Luci F. bid $ 7,500,000* 
 
 *DogOfDoom bid $ 10,000,000* 
 
 *Luci F. bid $ 50,000,000* 
 
 *DogOfDoom bid $ 100,000,000* 
 
 *Sold to DogOfDoom! * 
 
 Mark screamed loud enough to shatter his windows ( still a beautiful Fortissimo, though ) and began jumping around. 
 
 Somewhere in a fiery pit, Lucifer dialed a phone angrily. `` Fuck you, God! He was mine!'' 
 
 God could be seen grinning with his feet on his desk. `` I have no idea what you're talking about, Lucy.'' 
 
 `` I told you stop calling me that. I'm technically male. By the way,'DogOfDoom'?! Too. damn. easy.'' 
 
 `` Your username was n't that creative either, Luuucy.'' God could practically hear the Devil's wrath at that stupid nickname. 
 
 God hung up, marking a piece of paper. *Mark Garfield: Heaven*
