[ WP ] You are the human personification of the Panzer VIII Maus heavy tank

They called me Maus. 
 
 It was a terrible joke. I weigh over 200 tons, and move at a sedate—and completely unstoppable—thirteen kilometres an hour. I am proud of that. No other vehicle of my size can move even half as fast. I am covered in at least seven inches of armour on all sides. My turret is heavier still. 
 
 My builders gave me their finest weapon, the Panzerabwehrkanone 44/L 55. I can kill my enemies from more than two kilometres away. It would take me ten minutes to cover that distance. My shells do it in under three seconds. I am proud of them. I once saw them kill a white-star tank on the far side of another tank. 
 
 I have moved over flat land. Hard tack. My builders once drove me over soft ground, but I did not like it. Nor the wet ground. It was a test, and then they took me home. I like my home. My brother lies here, missing his turret. He can not talk yet. 
 
 I have been called to war. A place my builders call Hindenburgplatz. I will help them. I will kill the metal monsters the red men have made. I will kill the red men. I will kill them all until my builders are safe, and can finish my brother. Today they bring the special train to carry me. 
 
 Tomorrow I will kill the red men. Brother, I do this for you.
