[ WP ] In the future , everything has ads . Everything .

*Hello, and welcome to the world. Before you begin your life, we would like to collect some consumer information. Babies set the trends of the future, and we value your feedback. * 
 
 *Ga ga, uhrau. * 
 
 *I used to have no luck with the ladies. I know, right? But then I started using SWORD! Now I have to fight them off. * 
 
 *Oh, I love your smell. * 
 
 The sound of thousands of attractive women pining for sex permeates the womb. 
 
 *Would you say you are interested in making your parents purchase this spray for you? * 
 
 *Blergh. * 
 
 *Would you say that indicates a dislike for the product, or the pricing? * 
 
 *Uaaaaa! * 
 
 *Excellent. * 
 
 *My opponent, Bob Whitebread, is a fucking asshole. He rapes children before putting them through a torturous so-called training regimen, after which he enters them in savage child-fights that entertain criminal elements. Do you want a child rapist as President? * 
 
 
 *This message has been approved by the Committee for Government that Does n't Approve the Raping of Children. * 
 
 *Will you be voting Democrat or Republican when you come of age? * 
 
 *Iuuhah. * 
 
 *There has n't been a third party in 3000 years. Please answer the question. * 
 
 *Irm. * 
 
 *So as a child, you identify with the non-child raping party. Excellent. * 
 
 *Your birth is now impending, but before we let your mother release you, and at the risk of endangering your mother's life, we do have one more ad to play. * 
 
 *DO YOU DRESS LIKE A STRAIGHT MAN? DO YOU WANT TO STOP LOOKING LIKE A DISHEVELED SLOB? THEN* 
 
 *AAAAAHHHHHH! OH MY GOD, HE's COMING! * 
 
 *Maam, you need to hold it in. The ads are n't done. * 
 
 *I CA N'T. * 
 
 *Miss, due to your premature birth you will be issued a $ 10000 fine. Payment is mandatory. * 
 
 *Fuck you, and fuck the corporations! * 
 
 *Sir, you and your wife will now be subject to immediate termination. Your child will be put to work in a Bangladeshi shoe factory. Everyone not targeted in this military operation please vacate the premises. * 
 
 *This extremely effective implementation of corporate-bureaucratic tyranny is brought to you by Lockheed. Firing missiles on civilians since 3012. * 

