[ WP ] Congress just passed the Prohibition Act of 2016 . Coffee is now a Class 1 illegal drug .

I rolled out of bed and sleepily let my dogs into the backyard. The drizzle outside barely registered in my mind. By rote, I made my way to the kitchen and filled the coffee maker reservoir with water and basket with grounds. I flipped the'brew' switch. 
 
 While I waited, I sleepily opened my laptop to check e-mail and scroll through Reddit. Several headlines caught my eye: Burlington College is closing, State workers are retiring faster than they can be replaced, Coffee is now a Class 1 illegal drug, People care what religion London's mayor- wait- coffee is what?! The drizzle intensified. A crash of thunder wakes me just enough to realize'Oh, it's a writing prompt.' 
 
 The coffee maker beeped its glorious and legal brew completion. I drank my first cup away from the windows facing neighbors, just to be safe.
