[ WP ] You 've been horribly depressed for as long as you can remember . Your life is falling apart . A week ago , an experimental treatment has been announced that lets depression sufferers face their sickness . You are among the few that have been selected for the first human trials .

Edit: I apologize for writing so much, I just really got carried away with the story. it was a really fun write. Thank you and I hope you enjoy reading. 
 
 The Conversation. 
 
 The instructions were to eat a heavy meal before bedtime. It's a bit unusual since for as long as I remember I was told that eating a heavy meal before bedtime would induce nightmares. Nonetheless, I was n't interested in not following the directions given to me by the very pleasant medical staff. I accepted the food that the orderly brought to me and ate all of it. My appetite was poor but I toughed it out. I had a reason to. Tonight I will earn my freedom. 
 
 When I was ready to head to bed I let the orderly know and they dimmed the lights. It was strange trying to get comfortable in a room surrounded by windows and having a monitor attached to my head but I was motivated. Fortunately the pillow was soft and the room was pleasantly dark and cool. The staff of the facility did their best to make me comfortable. Although I knew I was being watched by the scientists on the other side of the blacked out windows I found myself thinking about what would happen to me tonight. 
 
 I am the second person to try this treatment. The first was a young woman who had postpartum depression and during the worst of it she attempted to drown her child. She was in and out of hospitals for two years unable to not be a danger to herself. We met during the orientation to the experimental treatment. I did n't like the look in her eyes because it reminded me of my own. However, I never tried to hurt anyone. I found this woman unpleasant but was relieved when I heard that she was the first one to get the treatment. I knew I'd have an easier time if I were to go second. 
 
 After her treatment was over she became a different person. There was a hardened expression on her face and her gaze was no longer wild and agitated, it was calm and unsettling in it's confidence. She stated that she had finally felt relief and now knew what she wanted to do in life. The staff still kept her for observation, and rightfully so as I have seen many suicidal patients talk in a similar manner before attempting to kill themselves. Still, she truly began improving her life, from working out to resuming her classes. It was as if an internal motor was switched on inside her and she was now in constant motion. It was intimidating but at the same time I was fascinated and begged the scientists to move up my treatment date. 
 
 I did n't realize when I fell asleep but I was told that it would feel like no dream I've ever had. It really felt different because I could tell I was dreaming right away. There was no sense of dullness or mindless purpose that I associated with my usual dreams, there was only clarity. I was still in the bed in the treatment room where I fell asleep and yet now it was different. The walls were moving as if they were alive, and I could see strange faces behind the glass windows grimacing in anger and laughter. It frightened me and yet I felt a sense of control over the situation. Even though I did not know what would happen next, my intuition told me that I had no reason for concern. 
 
 I heard footsteps outside and the moving faces behind the windows vanished instantly and the cold fluorescent light overhead suddenly glowed in a warm orange color. I remembered the instructions they gave me. I had to be calm and I was in control. It was all about what would happen next, and I had to maintain my composure. I got up from the bed and opened the door, attempting to control the situation. 
 
 The moment I saw her face, I knew why it had to be her. The youth and color had returned to her pupils and the crows feet etched in the corners of her eyes were nowhere to be found. The hair was long and a healthy light brown that shined even in the single overhead light. She was my mother as I remembered her from the best memories of my childhood. She was alive and healthy again. She looked at me passively as she always had when I was in trouble and I instinctively moved out of her way to let her into the room. 
 
 `` Hello Joel,'' 
 
 `` Hi mom''. I instinctively replied even though I could feel that this was not my mother. 
 
 `` I'm not your mother Joel. This is just the appearance you chose for me.'' 
 
 `` What are you?'' I asked. I was suddenly aware that my brain was being monitored and wondered how much of the dream the scientists would be able to see. 
 
 `` I think you know. I am the part of you that you have been avoiding for a long time. You've never quite given me any thought and it took all this'' - she gestured at the room theatrically `` for us to finally get together.'' 
 
 She walked over to the bed and sat down comfortably, pulling the cover over her lap. The mannerisms of the person unsettled me as they were quite unlike my mother. I felt my pulse quickening and I instinctively touched the scar on my neck. 
 
 `` I know this is strange. Believe me, this is strange for me as well. Still, we are here, are n't we?'' 
 
 `` Why do you have to look so much like her?'' The woman who had the treatment first told me that it was her child who appeared to her. She said it was because she hurt her child and associated him with the feeling of guilt. I never hurt my mother. 
 
 `` This has nothing to do with you hurting her, Gregory. Though you like to accept guilt for everything, you and I both know that you never hurt your mother. It just happens to be that there's something about her that triggers your problems. Do you know what it is?'' 
 
 `` She had a much harder life than me and I felt guilty about knowing how much she suffered and how much I will never have to suffer because she already had for me.'' It was my true sentiment. 
 
 She nodded. 
 
 `` But that's not all there is to it, is it Joel?'' 
 
 In the silent pause I wondered just how much of this the scientists were able to pick up. 
 
 `` There was a time when you believed that what happened to anyone, fortunate or unfortunate, was simply a matter of circumstance and not anyone's personal intention.'' 
 
 She looked at me in much the same way that the woman looked at me when she told me she was all better now. I wondered if tomorrow I would look at myself in the mirror in much the same way. 
 
 `` You still believe in that, Joel. So then how come you feel guilty about what happened to your mother? You were not in any way involved in her life before you were born. It was a matter of circumstance and while it was certainly suffering, you were not the cause and have nothing to feel guilty about.'' 
 
 `` Even so, she was my mother. I could n't help it. I am a human being, I still have a heart to care about others, even if it's just about the few people close to me.'' 
 
 There was a silence as the eyes studied me. It was not fair that this thing looked so much like my mother. 
 
 `` But you do n't really care for them. You were smart enough to understand the truth about life, you just became a coward and compromised.'' 
 
 `` I cared for mother,'' I said. This was a truth that I would not allow this thing to question. `` I cared for her and I cared for Allie.'' 
 
 `` Two people? Those are all the people that you and I cared about? Do you see what I'm getting at here?'' 
 
 `` These two people were the world to me.'' 
 
 `` The world's a much bigger place than you think.'' 
 
 `` So just because I could n't care for all of it or anyone in it, I did n't care for my family?'' 
 
 I felt a familiar warmth of anger in my chest. It was a pleasant sensation after the months of gray apathy. 
 
 `` There are billions of people on this planet,'' she began slowly and I felt a cold chill as I recognized the words that I had so often said to the people I've hurt in my life `` so, so many of us that we've lost individuality and became copies and shades of humanity. For each person we know, there are thousands of replacements.'' 
 
 `` Believing in that is what ruined my life in the first place,'' I said, shaking my head. 
 
 `` No, the real problem was that you wanted to believe in that, while trying to care for your mother and sister as if they were just as special. You compromise too much and these were just contradictory rules to live by. You ca n't have both. You care for two, or none at all.''
