[ WP ] God has grown tired of all violence , hatred and bigotry that goes on in his name and decides to do something about it .

The secretary's eyes erupted in flame. She exhaled a whimper of a scream which led to full on wailing as she ran to put her head under the office water cooler. God smiled uncomfortably in his chair. 
 
 
 
'' That's right, the documents have to be in English. What was I thinking, writing them in Enochian?'' the holy father shuffled uneasily. `` Silly me..'' 
 
 
 
 A flick of his fingers, and it was so. The documentation had become English, and far less incendiary. 
 
 
 
 The man in the suit looked unimpressed as he glanced over the forms. He lifted a finger to push up his glasses and ran his hand back through his short, dark hair. `` Mr... Yahweh, is it? According to this birth certificate, your parents are'The Infinite Expanse of Time' and'The Very Fabric of the Cosmos' 
 
 
 
'' That's right.'' God kept smiling. 
 
 
 
'' Looks like you've had a number of name changes through the last couple centuries.'' The man was smirking now. `` The first few billion years are always the easiest.'' 
 
 
 
 Indeed they had been. God missed those nameless days; a long stretch of time where his progeny swam or walked on four legs, with brains too small to consider the reason for their existence. Everything had changed now, and not for the better. The things being done in his name were never as he intended, and certainly not anything he wished to be associated with. 
 
 
 
'' Well, all that's left is your signature of course, and may I say, I wish you better luck this time around.'' The man in the suit slid a paper across the table; God hurriedly scrawled a name down, stood, gave a prompt thanks, and walked out of the office. 
 
 
 
 As he made his way through the front door of the Notary, God mused to himself, `` Luke Perry, that's a good name.'' 
 
 
 
 Nobody ever heard of Luke Perry ever again; his name fell from the tongues and thoughts of man. At last, God was free. A whisper again, as he had always wished to remain. 
 

