[ CW ] Write a famous Bible story as if it were a teen rom-com

Delilah Montgomery buried her face behind the enormous book she had yanked at random from the shelf behind her library study table -- *The Fascinating World of Toads* -- and felt a tingling blush rising in her cheeks. *He* was walking her way. Samson Hastings. 
 
 Samson had moved to Filistia over the summer, and was already pretty much the most popular guy in the whole school. With his epicly long hair and super-chiseled physique, he looked like something off one of Delilah ’ s mom ’ s romance novel covers. Plus, the rumor was he made captain of the football team without even trying out. Something about uprooting a goalpost. 
 
 “ Hey, ” Samson said quietly. Delilah peered up at him from behind her book. 
 
 “ Oh, ” she said in mock surprise. “ Hey. ” 
 
 Delilah was n't exactly a pariah either. She was the captain of a little thing called the West Filistia Competitive Dance Team, and had been elected Prom Queen three years in a row ( plus she did n't even go to prom last year because freaking Katie Raphah had gotten herself on the decorating committee and decided the theme would be Roller Derby Night, and pretty much everyone thought Katie was gay anyhow so all the popular kids went to East Fil ’ s prom ). Ugh. 
 
 “ So, uh, ” Samson was saying, threading a lock of hair behind his ear, “ you like toads? ” 
 
 Delilah glanced down at the book she ’ d been “ reading ”, then back up again. 
 
 “ Oh yeah, totally, ” she said. “ Like, probably almost all of them. ” 
 
 What the hell was she saying? *Get it together*, she thought. *You are Delilah-effing-Montgomery*. 
 
 “ Cool, ” Samson said. “ Hey anyway I saw you after practice the other day, and uh, I just wanted to say you looked super hot in that, like, dance outfit. ” 
 
 *Holy crap. Keep it together, Del. Stay cool. * 
 
 “ Oh that? ” Delilah laughed. “ We were just messing around. ” 
 
 “ Well it looked hot, ” Samson said, looking sort of confused, like maybe his message wasn ’ t getting through. 
 
 “ Well thanks, ” Delilah said with a practiced lip-bite. She fiddled with her pen for a second, mulling something over, then tore out a corner of *The Fascinating World of Toads*, page 37 ( Parotoid Glands ), and started scribbling in big, bubbly letters. 
 
 Okay so this would be a good time to explain something. Remember that prom Delilah went to at East Filistia? Well, the thing is, she kind of went with Saph Laurentis, who is the captain of East Fil ’ s football team this year. And also, they ’ re still dating. Like, she's seeing him after school *today*. And *also* also: the two schools are kind of playing each other in *two freaking days*. So back to Del giving Samson her number: 
 
 “ Text me sometime, ” she was saying. “ Maybe you can come watch the dance team this Friday. We ’ re doing like this big pep rally before the East Fil game. ” 
 
 “ Totally, ” Samson said, tucking the note into his varsity jacket. `` See ya, Delilah.'' He turned and walked back out of the library, and Del hid behind her book again, trying not to laugh hysterically. It was all coming together so perfectly -- the “ accidental ” encounter in her skimpiest dance outfit, the pep rally, the football game this Friday... 
 
 “ Yea so sammy took the bait, ” Delilah texted Saph under the library table. “ How much do u love me?? ” 
 
 “ Ur the best babe, ” Saph replied. 
 
 Oh yes. The long reign of West Filistia football was about to come crashing down...
