[ WP ] Mom always said her chili con carne recipe was a secret . She was quite angry when it was published with the leaked NSA documents .

( 1 ) 
 
 
 * “ What do you mean, weapons grade chili con carne? ” * 
 
 
 * “ Well just, like I said sir. UN Inspectors have confirmed it. This stuff is deadly. ” * 
 
 
 * “ Surely that ’ s just marketing. How can Mama Jones Blow Your Brains Out Chili, really blow your brains out? ” * 
 
 
 * “ I don ’ t know exactly. The intel boffins said something about synapse this, acetylcholine that….Whatever really, this stuff apparently works just like a nerve agent - Profuse sweating, crying, runny nose. Victims shake uncontrollably, complain of breathing problems, then just pass out and die. It happens pretty quickly to. All over in a couple of minutes. ” * 
 
 
 * “ How exposed are we by this leak? ” * 
 
 
 * “ Well, it was the recipe sir! ” * 
 
 
 * “ OK. Thanks for the report. I ’ ll take it from here. ” * 
 
 ( 2 ) 
 
 
 Ring…ring… Ring…ring… 
 
 
 * “ Yes, hello. ” * 
 
 
 * “ Mumma Jones, my name is ah, my name is Mr Smith. I ’ m calling from the NSA. ” * 
 
 
 * “ Yes Mr Smith, what can I do for you? ” * 
 
 
 * “ It seems Mumma that we owe you an apology. Apparently some time ago our intelligence division classified your chili con carne as a potential strategic weapon. ” * 
 
 
 * “ They did what? ” * 
 
 
 * “ Well, your chili recipe was classified top secret, but Wikileaks recently obtained it and published it on their website this morning. ” * 
 
 
 * “ Now you listen here Mr Smith. I don ’ t care for any wikimagiki, strategic broo ha ha. I don ’ t care about top secret to you, that recipe has been a secret in my family for generations. It ’ s the one thing that keeps us ahead of the Crabapples down the road at the County Fair each year. ” * 
 
 
 * “ I ’ m sorry Mumma. ” * 
 
 
 * “ Sorry. Pffff. You ’ re telling me sir, that the secret to 5 generations of blue ribbon winning entries is now public knowledge? That I, the current Mumma of my family will be the first not to win the annual first prize? Mr Smith, you need to have that wiki thingy just to take it down again? Old Crustry Crabapple will be right on this if it isn ’ t controlled. ” * 
 
 
 * “ It ’ s not quite that simple Mrs Jones. Wikileaks don ’ t really listen to what we ask. ” * 
 
 
 * “ Don ’ t be dumber than a box of rocks Mr Smith. Bomb them. ” * 
 
 
 *'' Well, we aren ’ t going to war over a chili recipe Mrs Jones. ” * 
 
 
 *'' This is most upsetting. Good day to you sir. ” * 
 
 
 Click… 
 
 
 ( 3 ) 
 
 
 Ring…ring… Ring…ring… 
 
 
 * “ Privet ” * 
 
 
 * “ Yuri, it is Jones. ” * 
 
 
 * “ Continue. ” * 
 
 
 * “ We did it Yuri. The Americans leaked the recipe themselves. It ’ s all over Wikileaks. If anything happens, they ’ ll take the blame. ” * 
 
 
 * “ Excellent news. Good work Jones. We ’ ll go into production immediately. ” * 
 
 
 Click.
