[ WP ] `` Of course Hell is real . You 've been in it this whole time . ''

They called me the good thief because I repented on the cross next to Jesus. It was this feat that earned me my placement in the Promised Land. 
 
 I was amongst the first to take up residence here. It was beautiful. The streets were paved of gold; the gates were crafted of pearl; the walls were erected with jasper; and the day was everlong. 
 
 It was a beautiful and exotic land for the first year. After that I grew bored. After the brief bout of sight-seeing, there seemed to be a stark lack of activities in the Promised Land. No dancing, no pubs, no sex - I could n't even wear a poly-cotton shirt. 
 
 Over the years, new people arrived in the Promised Land. At first, it was just a handful of people, but now, two-thousand years later, the people arrived by the millions. We were each placed in equal houses, given equal possessions, and were upheld to equal standards. 
 
 I walked around the streets of gold. Gold was all I had ever wanted in my mortal life, but now, I realized that there was much more to it than money. I had fallen in love with the thrill of the heist. The greater the risk to my life, the better the thrill. The higher the value of goods I was stealing, the better the thrill. That was what I loved. 
 
 And now, I could reach down at any moment and hold the pure metal in my hands. It took no effort, there was no risk, and the gold held no value. 
 
 I had always wondered if hell was real. `` Heh.'' I chuckled a bit. *Of course hell is real. * I thought, *You've been in it this whole time. *
