[ WP ] Your grandparents always playfully bickered in their native language . To surprised them , you took lessons , but now you understand what they 're really saying ...

My grandparents had moved to the US from Italy after the war, but before they had any children. My mom said the strictest rule my grandparents had growing up was that it was English only for the kids. Someone had told them that it was the best way to make sure the kids learned to speak it quickly and without confusion. I always thought it was kind of sad that my mom could n't speak the old language, and I thought it would be the perfect surprise if I could learn Italian in time for my grandparents 50th anniversary. Surprisingly, it was n't as hard as I'd expected. I'd taken Spanish in high school and a lot of the words were similar. I was so excited that I actually wrote a speech, in Italian, to read at their anniversary party. The day of the party finally arrived and we all headed over to my grandparents house. I had n't breathed a word of my surprise to anyone, and as I overheard my grandparents talking in the kitchen while putting the last minute touches on the food, I was SO glad I'd decided to keep my endeavor a secret. At first I thought I'd misheard, did my sweet innocent grandma really just compare the salad she was tossing to the way she'd licked grandpa's asshole the night before??? Did my grandpa really reply that he'd be hitting her with something bigger than the wooden spoon that night? As their conversation went on, I was both appalled, and the tiniest bit jealous, my sex life was, apparently, not half as interesting as that of my octogenarian grandparents. As I fled the kitchen in search of a stiff drink, I was glad I had n't told anyone I was learning Italian - God forbid they ask me to translate grandma and grandpas conversations!
