[ WP ] This has got to be shittiest cult in the world .

`` Followers! Behold! The princess of darkness!'' The Cult Leader announced over the congregation. 
 
 They beckoned me forward and I walked up the steps to the stage. Mystic symbols and binding runes were carved into the walls, floor and even the seats the congregation sat on. At the center of the stage was a giant magic circle surrounded by candles, salt lines and blood runes. I assumed this was where they summoned demons to do their bidding. 
 
 `` Welcome princess! Our prayers have been heard! The devil has sent us his daughter!'' The leader announced. 
 
 `` Actually, we never heard any prayers. I only came because i got your flier.'' I pulled the flier out of my pocket and held it up. 
 
 When one of their recruiters was handing out fliers at my campus i could n't resist coming to see for myself. It was n't everyday i could observe a cult set up around my family. And I was quite surprised when they recognized me when i stepped in, I thought i was relatively unknown to the world. 
 
 `` Oh... but fate has still been kind! We have been graced by the daughter of Lucifer our Lord!'' The leader chanted. 
 
 `` LOL! Lucifer our Lord! LOL!'' The congregation chanted. 
 
 I raised an eyebrow. 
 
 `` Princess? What can YOLO do to earn your favor?'' The leader asked. 
 
 `` Yolo?'' I asked. 
 
 `` YOLO! YOUTH OBEYING LUCIFERS ORDERS! YOLO!'' The congregation raised their hands to the ceiling. 
 
 I tried my hardest to hold back a laugh. 
 
 `` Yes! YOLO! for Satan's wishes are granted!'' The leader explained. 
 
 `` SWAG! SATAN'S WISHES ARE GRANTED! SWAG!'' The congregation chanted. 
 
 I tried to smile a respectfully as possible, `` I'm sorry... We do n't really grant favor or power anymore.'' 
 
 `` But we should be rewarded, we worship the fallen!'' 
 
 `` WTF! WORSHIP THE FALLEN! WTF!'' 
 
 `` Really, we're closed for business. But it was a nice gesture with the pentagrams and all.'' I explained. 
 
 Without warning the leader stepped forward and pushed me onto the magic circle at the center of the stage. I felt the demonic binding ritual wrap around me as the runes began to glow. 
 
 `` Then we shall take your power! Rise our father Lucifer!'' The leader chanted. 
 
 `` ROFL! RISE OUR FATHER LUCIFER! ROFL!'' The congregation chanted. 
 
 I should have been angry, but i was too amused at their incompetence. I could have easily broken the circle, or sang a song of death to kill them all but instead i rolled over and put my hands behind my head. I rested for a couple of minutes as i waited. I felt my power being drained slightly but i was n't at all worried. 
 
 Dad appeared with a pitchfork in hand and saw his daughter lying at the center of demon draining magic circle surrounded by the cult. It did n't take him long to figure out what was happening. 
 
 `` Lucifer our Lord!'' The leader called out. 
 
 `` LOL! Lucifer our Lord! LOL!'' The congregation chanted. 
 
 Dad's eyebrow twitched, he was not amused. 
 
 
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 For more of my writing come to /r/badelf21 
 
 

