[ WP ] In a time/place that has recently abolished the death penalty , a corrupt prison comes up with a novel solution to overcrowding : a 'specialist ' who 's job is to talk inmates into committing suicide .

It was amazing how nice a normal cell seemed next to the shoe. You would think that after his fifth time, Kevin would have been used to solitary confinement, but no it still gave him shivers. 
 The cell looked radically different from when he had left it. All of his posters had been removed, there was a new cell mate on the top bunk. 
 “ Hi, i ’ m Matthew! ” 
 “ Go to hell. ” Kevin took a seat on his mattress. 
 A dark man with a suit and a clipboard appeared at the entrance to the cell. “ Mr. Resnick? ” 
 “ Fuckign Christ what? ” After weeks without interaction human voices sounded so course. 
 “ I see. ” The man scratched something on his clipboard then took a seat on the chair outside of the cell. 
 “ My name is Jared Bachman, I am a member of the prison ’ s social services, I ’ m here to talk to you about suicide prevention. ” 
 Kevin pulled his hands from his face. “ Wait what, me? ” 
 “ Our records indicate that you may be facing clinical depression. ” The man ’ s voice was nasally whine and he paused between words to suck in breathes of stagnant air. “ Ahem. I want you to know that suicide is a permanent resolution to a temporary problem. ” 
 Matthew from the bunk above busted out laughing. “ A life sentence ain ’ t a temporary problem. ” 
 “ Excuse me Mr. Carr, I was addressing Mr. Resnick. ” 
 Kevin scratched his head. “ That ’ s what I don ’ t get, I don ’ t want to kill myself? ” 
 “ That ’ s the spirit! ” Mr. Bachman punched the air with a depressingly limp thrust. “ However. ” He coughed up some phlegm. “ Because of your obvious lack of approachability to help, I may have to recommend more time in solitary confinement so you can work on your attitude. ” 
 “ What the fuck! ” 
 “ That concludes our meeting, it was a pleasure to meet you Mr. Resnick, I hope I have the privilege of interacting with you in the future. Someone will be along to take you to solitary confinement shortly. ” 
 Mr. Bachman turned on his leather heals and squeaked away down the hall. 
 “ Goddamn that fucker! ” Kevin stared at the ground, fighting back tears of frustration. 
 Matt slammed his fist into his hand. “ I know right! He must have a really stressful job though, I hear those social workers get fired every time they mess up. ” 
 “ That….I hate him. ” Kevin stood up and started pacing. “ I ’ d do anything to get his ass fired. ” 
 Matt laughed, “ Well you could always kill yourself, that would put him in deep water. ”
