[ WP ] I 'm laying here with her/him but I 'm thinking of someone else .

Her heart is beating slow and steady, something it only does when she is consumed by sleep. Her closed eyes seem sad. Her fingers grasp tightly to my tee shirt, her head rising and falling with my chest. In the tranquil darkness, with the duvet covering most of her and half of me, I lay listening to her deep breathing, envious of the peace she gets when she falls asleep on me. 
 
 She looks like her. 
 
 I try to push down the image of her. It's wrong to think and painful to see. Not a thought for a tired man with a sleeping wife to entertain in the middle of the night. The moon bleeding in from the windows reflects off her wedding ring. I can not draw my eyes from it. 
 
 I remember giving her that ring, back when life was good. I remember giving it to her in that dump of an apartment, and I remember the bar we went to in celebration. I remember looking at that ring, and the IV needle above it when she was in labor. I remember every birthday, every vacation, every kiss. I remember all those years of pure, unburdened love. 
 
 She looks so much like her. 
 
 Stop it, goddammit, stop it. Do not think those thoughts. Not now. Not ever. You are here, right now, in this moment. Just go to sleep. I can not convince myself. Not when I'm staring at her sleeping face. The face that looks like her. 
 
 I am powerless to stop the tear that falls from my eye onto her forehead. I pray it does n't wake her, but it does. She sits up slowly, fuzzy with sleep. Her eyes meet mine. I can feel her concern. 
 
 `` What's going on?'' She asks with sleep in her voice. 
 
 `` I- I miss her.'' I choke out. 
 
 She scoots up and wraps her arms around my neck, sighing painstakingly. I start to wail and I can not stop. Gross, wet, ugly sobs and my wife holding me close. 
 
 `` I miss our daughter,'' I cry out. 
 
 `` I know. I miss her too.'' She says between her own softer, calmer tears. 
 
 `` I miss her, I miss her.'' 
 
 Edit: Words
