[ WP ] As time travelers , 2 % of your job is to try and change the past to make a better future . The other 98 % is making sure you did n't fuck up doing so .

Alex threw his arms in the air. “ What do you mean the Chinese conquered Europe? ” 
 
 “ Well, you see here? ” Jerry pointed to his screen. The last few moments Alex spent in thirteenth century Syria before the crusaders arrived. “ You stole an apple from that merchant. ” 
 
 “ It was just an apple. ” 
 
 Jerry nodded. “ The incident traces with 95 % certainty to this moment. ” 
 
 “ How would an apple cause the Chinese to invade Europe? ” 
 
 “ It looks like the guy arrested for your crime was the assassin sent to kill Prince Edward in 1272 when he was on Crusade. In our timeline, Edward killed the assassin instead and went on to…well, you know all that. Anyway, in this new timeline, this guy lost his hand, so they sent someone else. This other assassin succeeded in killing the future king. ” 
 
 “ And? ” Alex demanded. God, he hadn ’ t fucked up this badly in years. The amount of paperwork would be staggering. 
 
 “ So Edward ’ s brother became king instead. Edmund did alright, but his son lost England to the French. ” 
 
 “ What? ” 
 
 “ Oh yeah. They speak French in Britain now. English is officially a dead language. ” 
 
 “ Christ. ” 
 
 “ Looks like you upset the applecart, ” Jerry said with a nod. 
 
 “ I will shoot you, ” Alex growled. 
 
 “ So after the French conquer the British, they go on to colonize North America and end up at war with Spain. Quebec is almost exactly the same in this time oddly enough. Anyway, everything runs smoothly for a while until World War I. ” 
 
 “ We still had one of those? ” 
 
 Jerry peered at him over his horn rimmed glasses. “ We ’ ve had four of those. ” 
 
 “ Four World Wars? ” Alex had to sit down. He needed a drink. For a moment he feared vodka didn ’ t exist anymore and didn ’ t want to ask. Finally he sank his head into his hands. “ So how do we fix this? ” 
 
 “ Management is sending you back to Syria. You ’ re going to lose a hand, I ’ m afraid. ” 
 
 Alex stared at his hand. He flexed his fingers and swallowed the lump in his throat. `` Could n't they just send me to Edward's tent in 1272?'' 
 
 `` They're not taking any chances. You know how this works. We fix the past as close to the incident as possible.'' 
 
 A hand was a small price to pay for the English language, he supposed. “ You ’ ll have to do my paperwork. ” 
 
 “ Oh no. Management ’ s not letting you off that easily. ” 
 

