[ WP ] Let 's make a deal

Life went on; sometimes I genuinely forgot and other times I actively remembered to forget. When the thought's absence called from the back of my mind, I distracted myself, leaving it as insubstantial as possible - not knowing for sure if there was a trigger level, or if my non-efforts were enough. 
 
 I resolutely refused to call it forward and think about it - over and over - a thousand times over. 
 
 I remained healthy. 
 
 So far, so good. 
 
 As I aged and considered the world in new ways, my religious leanings fell away and nibbling doubts about the deal kept appearing. I did n't think about those either - for how could they help? 
 
 It remained an illogical, superstitious part of my mind, the more I reasoned carefully, the more I walled this area off. 
 
 and I remained healthy. 
 
 `` A deal?'' I had casually offered a deity/the universe. `` If this stays healed, I wo n't think about it - wo n't research it on Google, wo n't talk to other people who had it, nothing''. 
 
 It made no sense, but what did that matter. I knew it was like the figurative'rock that keeps wolves away'. But when the wolves stay away, how much courage does it take to damage the rock? More than I had, certainly. 
 
 With a thought I ca n't think, protecting a nonsensical deal, wrapped in a growing array of other related thoughts I dare not think - lest they drag the original thought up... is there such a thing as a thought abscess? My body remained well, but... am I really healthy? 
 
 Let's make a deal, eh? You do n't pry and I wo n't lash out in self-defence. So much of the world runs like this, you must recognise the pattern by now? I'm sure you understand.
