[ WP ] This is it , first contact ; an alien spacecraft has landed on earth . The doors of the spaceship hiss open and out steps… a human ? Yeah , they 're pretty confused too .

Jason sat against the park bench, he was still fuming, trying to calm himself down from the fight he just had with his wife. She was always getting on his ass, nagging and complaining about his lifestyle. She knew about it before hand why was she so dead set on changing his ways when years have already passed?! Jason knew the answer, the stars above and the soft rustling of the tall trees reminded him of serenity. The more calm he got, the more he deduced the reasons behind his wife's nagging. She was having a tough time with her new boss, and she had no where to vent. His own distractions, his dumb little Lego building hobby meant he was too preoccupied to give her the attention she really needed. Every fight between Jason and his wife took on a similar pattern, they would yell and scream, then he would leave to cool off under the vast Arizona sky. In a few minutes, his wife would come out, excluding extreme circumstances, and after minutes of silence they would voice their apologies and move on. Jason's wife, Hannah, came out, as if on cue, but something was wrong. She was sprinting with a panicked expression. 
 
 `` We need to move, now!'' She yelled. 
 
 Jason was extremely skeptical, `` Well I do n't think the house is the problem. I just need to apologize.'' 
 
 Hannah shook her head and grabbed Jason's shirt, dragging him to the trees. At first Jason did n't understand why, but slowly an earth rumbling sound approached his ears, and he did n't stick around to find out what it was. Once past the tree lines the young couple turns around to see a massive orb descending to earth, with a rocket propulsion system slowing its descent. When the Orb was a few feet above the ground its rockets stopped scorching the earth, and mechanized legs descended, allowing the Orb to come to a rest. 
 
 Jason was at a loss of words, he slowly realized Hannah was mumbling the whole time, frantically whispering in his ear, `` What do we do, call the police? The FBI? The Army?'' 
 
 Jason began nodding, and grabbed his wife by the hand, unable to speak words. He began pulling her deeper into the woods, to avoid being seen by whatever alien object the Orb was. But the young couple froze in their tracks, a large hissing noise made them reconsider their actions, scared that they had triggered something, they turned back to observe the Orb. A ramp unfolded and descended into the dirt, and a doorway opened up. Inaudible noises could be heard from the inside, slurs of vowels and words of another language filled air. 
 
 With only the star light, Jason and Hannah could only make a vague outline of what descended from the ship. A humanoid creature, with a hunched back, and a long face slowly stumbled down the ramp. It seemed very human, about 5' 6'' and 4 appendages, it stood about as tall as Hannah. It appeared to have a crown of bone on its head, and it wore accessories that clinked together in the quiet night. Its stumbling was probably due to the change in gravity from its home planet, it could n't stand straight, constantly swaying, with its knees bent together and its hands out in front of it. 
 
 Jason concluded the alien was n't immediately physically harmful, seeing as it could hardly stand. He motioned to Hannah to take out her phone, and he inched forward to confront it. Slowly, Jason heard what the fumbling creature was saying. 
 
 `` What did Noah say, he would wait for me, Buuut I do n't see him anywhere around, did I take a taxi to bourbon? Yes I did. He woke me up, he said, come back to bourbon, Ill wait for you. Was he there? Noooooo, so Im at the park, I went to the park. So Noah, come to the park, to the park, Noah, come to the park.'' 
 
 Jason stood up straight and emerged from the treeline, even more confused than he previously was. In front of him, was not some small alien who could n't deal with earth's gravity, but a drunk girl, a person so inebriated she could n't stand still, let alone straight. Now that he was close, Jason could see she was adorned with Mardi Gras beads and a pink crown that said `` Birthday Bitch'' on it. Immediately the drunk girl plopped on the ground, looking slightly annoyed, and very confused. She noticed her new company and pointed at him, or what seemed to be him, but was a bit too far left. 
 
 `` YOU, you there, do you know where Noah is? Because I am looking for Noah.'' 
 
 Jason stuttered incoherently for a moment before speaking, `` Do you know where you are? You just came down in a *space ship*!'' 
 
 Hannah came running at the sound of human voices, seeing the drunk girl on the forest floor. When she realized her husband was only flabbergasted, but not in danger, she hung up the phone. 
 
 The drunk girl turned her body to look at her ship. `` What that? No. That's my taxi. They are the new New Orleans Taxis.'' *hiccup hiccup* `` Shit, now I have the hiccups.... I think Uber own them or something.'' 
 
 Jason corrected her, `` There is no way that can by an Uber, I already told you its a Space Ship! And you're not in New Orleans, you're in Phoenix.'' 
 
 *hiccup* `` Well I just need to get to Bourbon Street.... Noah is waiting for me... which way is it?'' 
 
 The young couple were getting increasingly annoyed at the Birthday Bitch's answers. Hannah interjected, `` Its not anywhere. You are too far. Can we call Noah for you?'' 
 
 `` OOOOOOHH MY GOD, call Noah? I called him like 5 bajillion times, but he wo n't answer me. Here. Tell him I'm waiting for him on Phoenix Street.'' The Drunk Girl pulled out a smart phone from her bra and threw it at the couple. But her intoxication made for poor athletic stimulant. It went wide and landed in the crater under the Orb. 
 
 Jason thought nothing of it, although slightly wary of the Orb, he was more than filled with curiosity at how the Drunk Girl got in this Orb. He strode over to the phone and crouched to comfortably reach it. When he picked it up, Noah was calling. 
 
 Jason slid his finger across the tiny screen and answered, `` Hello? Noah? I do n't know how to explain this.'' 
 
 `` No need to explain anything. That drunk girl is named Kelsey, and she stole my ship again.'' 
 
 `` Your ship? This is yours? Are... you human?'' 
 
 `` Haha, yes, I am human. If you go inside, you'll find pictures of myself and my father. We have spent our lives building this ship. Honestly, you can just put Kelsey on it, and send her back to me.'' 
 
 `` Uhhh... OK.'' 
 
 `` Cool, just go up the ramp, look inside, the coordinates of her last takeoff should be on the screen at waist level directly to you left. Right next to that is a large green button. Press the button to warm it up, and then the coordinates to send it back. Should be about a 5 minute warm up time. Oh, and I'd appreciate it if you did n't tell anyone about this.'' 
 
 `` Well... My wife and I are geeks when it comes to gadgets and new tech, do you mind if we look around?'' 
 
 `` Of course not, like I said, you have 5 minutes warm up time.'' 
 
 Jason was pleased. As strange as the night had gone, nothing seemed harmful about any of these interactions. Jason walked back to his wife and told her about the phone call. Together, they went aboard the Orb and looked around, but Hannah could n't shake a bad feeling in her stomach. When she looked inside the Orb, she saw things that impressed her, like how clean and pristine everything looked, how nothing about this ship looked alien or like a backyard project by over enthusiastic engineers. She told her husband, `` Lets get this girl aboard and get out of here.'' 
 
 Together, Jason and Hannah pressed the button. Both exited the Orb, and Hannah stood aside while Jason went to pick up Kelsey. He lifted her in his arms and took her into the ship. Hannah felt the bad feeling in her stomach become a pit when the ramp started retracting. The door slid shut and the rocket engine activated. Inside the Orb, Jason felt the metal beneath his feet rumbling, and heating up. When the doors closed he dropped Kesley and spun around, smashing the door with his fists. Then scrambling to his the screen and the buttons around the cockpit. 
 
 The sudden force pushing down on Jason let him know that the ship took off. And that he just left his wife behind. Barely keeping his balance, Jason moved into one of the two chairs int he small, circular space, while trying to keep a foot on Kelsey, who was passed out on the floor. Suddenly the screen activated again, and a human*ish* face greeted Jason. `` Hello, I'm sorry about the cloak and dagger. I did n't know how else I would get you on this ship.'' 
 
 `` WHAT. THE. FUCK?!!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU TAKING ME?'' 
 
 Panting and nearly hyperventilating Jason's eyes darted around the cabin, and his attention kept being brought back to the face in front of him, which only gave expressions of remorse, and determination. 
 
 The Human-like face pursed his lips, and seemed to settle on it's next words. `` Well, I cant take you back... Have n't you wondered why my name is Noah?'' 
 
 
 Edit1: thanks for catching that 
 
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