[ WP ] We 're familiar with the idea of a secret police , tell me about a secret ambulance .

`` Fuck! Whose stupid idea was this anyway?!!'' 
 
 I looked at the digital clock in front of me. *Rush hour, again? * 5:00. 5-0-0. Five hundred. I've been counting. It's been more than that, the number of times we've been stuck in this goddamn traffic. And even more than that is the number of bodies I've seen on the job. 
 
 *Just kidding. * 
 
 Well for starters, what do I do? 
 
 You can call me the paramedic. 
 
 `` Wee-woo wee-woo wee-woo.'' 
 
 `` Hey, shut up back there! You're making me nervous.'' 
 
 My partner went silent, and just like that, we returned to the soothing ambience of honking. The sound of sirens, real or fake, did n't need to be added in to the symphony of car horns. It's like Don Giovanni by what's-his-face. You ca n't have anything better than the original. 
 
 Not like our ambulance could `` wee-woo'' anyway. Hell if it'd look like one -- it was all black, like those vans that deliver money or some shady shit. We delivered people, often to their final destination. The concept had some sort of charm to it. I dubbed it the `` secret ambulance.'' 
 
 `` Wee-woo wee-woo we --'' *click* `` Hello? Yeah, what's up? Yeah I'll put you on. Here, take it. He wants to speak with you.'' 
 
 *That fucking ringtone... Little bastard... * Why, of all people, was this clown assigned to me? And worst of all, he knew about the effect of sirens on me... 
 
 *** 
 *Wee-woo wee-woo wee-woo -- -- * 
 
 *Panic. Fear. Glass breaking. Cars honking. Honnnnnkkkkkkk. Champagne bottle popping. * 
 
 Huh, champagne? 
 
 *The thing in my hand had heat. That's pretty disgusting champagne, if you ask me. * 
 
 *** 
 
 I got ta tell him to change that fucking ringtone later. The voice on the other end hated waiting. 
 
 I tore the phone from the outstretched hand. 
 
 `` Hey, I picked them up. Bit of traffic. They're on their way.'' 
 
 
 `` Yeah, yeah, I got it, I got it. Do n't worry, took care of them. Took care of them *real good. *'' 
 
 I quickly glanced at the motionless bodies behind me. *Man, never really got used to the smell of dead people. * 
 
 `` See ya later, Boss.''
