[ WP ] You have died and have been sentenced to Heck .

`` Where am I?!'' I said, as I looked around. There was nothing, just a white emptiness and silence. I called out again `` HELLOOOO?'' 
 
 `` You are in Heck.'' The voice cam from behind me and I spun around. Where seconds ago there was nothing, now stood a young man in blue jeans and a white tee shirt. 
 
 `` What the Hell?!'' 
 
 `` No, Heck.'' 
 
 `` What the Heck?!'' 
 
 `` I think you mean what IS Heck.'' 
 
 `` What?'' 
 
 `` Heck, where we are now.'' 
 
 I paused briefly. Confused at my new surroundings of nothingness, and the sudden appearance of a truly annoying individual. But I was n't getting any answers like this. I decided to let him talk. `` Go on.'' I said. 
 
 `` Well, you see, in life you were a giant schmuck. You were a slob, you were rude to your waiters, and you never gave to charity. Your'friends' describe you as'more of an acquaintance really' and your wife settled hard because she felt like you were her last option to have babies. So now you are in Heck.'' 
 
 `` Should n't I be in hell if I was such a bad person?'' 
 
 `` Well, see theres the problem. Hell is for people who rape and murder and the like. You do n't quite qualify.'' 
 
 `` Well why cant I go to Heaven, then?'' I asked. 
 
 `` Because your'e a schmuck, and God does n't like schmucks.'' He stated sarcastically. 
 
 `` That seems a little harsh, not to mention odd.'' I said. `` What am I supposed to do now?'' 
 
 `` Well, you can sit on that wooden stool over there and watch TV, but it only gets Fox News and the weather channel.'' He gestured toward a small TV on a table displaying Fox News. 
 
 `` That was n't there before!'' I said. 
 
 `` Pretty sure it was, ya schmuck. Listen, I got ta run I have a lot of shitty people to welcome to Heck, settle in, its gon na be a long afterlife.'' 
 
 `` YOU SAID I WAS N'T IN HELL YOU LIAR!'' I cried out as he disappeared.
