[ WP ] You have died and gone to hell , but it 's not what you expect . You wake up naked in a field with nothing but trees around you ... it turns out that hell is an early access survival game .

The howling wind made me shiver. I just died, right? Then what the hell am I doing in the middle of a field, naked? 
 
 I heard a rustling in the bushes, and a man in full camo gear emerged. I awkwardly waved to him, hiding my groin with my other hand. He approached me with a sigh. 
 
 `` Been robbed, or are you just new here?'' he asked, surprisingly unperturbed by my appearance. 
 
 `` I'm sorry but, I do n't know. I really just do n't know,'' I replied in confusion. 
 
 He looked me up and down. `` *Very* new, eh? Hate to break it to you, but you're in hell,'' he said, throwing me some pants from his bag. I put them on graciously. 
 
 `` Hell?'' I asked, looking around widely. `` Where's the flames, the demons??'' 
 
 He laughed without mirth. `` Plenty demons around here kid, if you know where to look.'' 
 
 I shivered, unsure if it was the wind or his words. I zipped up my pants, changing the subject. 
 
 `` What are you in here for?'' 
 
 `` Me? Quite complicated, I guess. Not believing, mostly. Had my own ideas on morality,'' he said, as he handed me a knife and beckoned me to follow him. `` Yourself?'' 
 
 I gripped the blade, feeling a rush of power. 
 
 `` Mainly murder,'' I replied with a smirk, stabbing him in the neck. 
 
 A thought flashed across my mind: 
 
 *Hell was going to be fun*. 
 
 The man slowly turned back to face me, the knife protuding from his neck. There was not a drop of blood. 
 
 Massive wings shot out of his back, ripping his camo vest. A glorious glow burned around him. 
 
 `` It's always the same with the Fallen,'' he said, as the knife melted away. `` One taste of anarchy and you show your true colours.'' 
 
 I tried to run, to move, to scream. Something was holding me in place. 
 
 A hole opened beneath me, heat bursting forth and setting my pants alight. I floated there for a second, engulfed in flames and agony. 
 
 He smiled. 
 
 Then I fell to the depths below, and he leaned over to watch me go. 
 
 `` Enjoy the *real* hell, friend.'' 
 
 ***** 
 
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