[ WP ] Write the most elaborate , over-dramatic , and exciting story you can think of that all just turns out to be a set-up for a pun so horrible I 'll want to punch you

The relaxed, inviting silence of the sunny Sunday noontide was suddenly, violently rent by a series of explosions, a screech of tires, a storm of gunfire, and finally a brown sedan careening wildly across the road on two blown-out tires with three police cruisers hot in pursuit. 
 
 All of a sudden, the sedan hit an irregular patch on the road, did a barrel roll in mid air, crashed into a light pole, and caromed straight toward the church, where Sunday School was just letting out and a group of school children was standing transfixed in fear and awe at the scene unfolding before them. 
 
 Out of nowhere, a low-flying twin-engine Cessna on which one of the engines had cut out in flight, leaving the pilot no choice but to eject, crashed into the brown sedan in midair, deflecting it from its horrible path at the last moment, thereby saving the church and all of the children who stood before it. 
 
 Unfortunately, the tangled mass of airplane and car crashed directly into a home near the church with a deafening explosion. The home quickly burned to the ground. 
 
 As it turned out, that home was the home of the church pastor. As he stepped through the charred remains of his family's life, the good people of his parish attempted to console him. A firefighter, putting on his kindest face, informed the poor priest that nothing had survived. However, that good honest man of God noticed something glinting from beneath the blackened remains of what used to be his kitchen table. 
 
 He reached down and dug out the object. It was a single deck of cards which had somehow, miraculously, been spared the ravagement of the fire. A strange smile began to creep across the priest's face. In a moment, he had actually begun to laugh. 
 
 `` Father,'' a woman asked. `` What will you do now?'' 
 
 `` Well, my child,'' he responded, `` I suppose I'll learn to deal with it.''
