A guy wants Chick-fil-A so bad on a Sunday so he drives to the CEO 's house and forces him to open up the restaurant at gunpoint [ WP ]

“ Look just calm down, ” Charles said, making sure that his open palms were in sight. 
 
 “ Calm! ” Richard shouted, pointing the gun at Charles ’ s chest, “ DON ” T YOU FUCKING DARE TALK TO ME ABOUT CALM! ” 
 
 “ Look, I can give you anything you want, ” Charles said, “ My car, my watch, we can talk this -- ” 
 
 “ I don ’ t give a fuck about your money, ” Richard spat, “ I want some chicken strips. ” 
 
 “ …what? ” 
 
 “ Don ’ t you play dumb, ” Richard said, brandishing his gun in front of Charles ’ s face, “ Are you trying to tell me you ’ re not the CEO of Chick Fil-A. “ 
 
 “ …I…am? ” Charles replied 
 
 “ ARE YOU OR AREN ’ T YOU! ” Richard screamed. 
 
 “ Yes… yes… I am. ” Charles said, taking a step back. 
 
 “ Make one more move and your dead, ” he hissed, “ You ’ re the man responsible for Chick Fil-A being closed on Sundays, so you can just as easily be the man responsible for making them be open on Sundays. ” 
 
 “ There ’ s a board meeting next Tuesday, ” Charles lied, “ I could... ” 
 
 “ Shut it, ” Richard hissed, “ I need Chicken Strips. NOW! ” 
 
 “ Look, I could just make you some, would that— “ 
 
 “ No! ” Richard interrupted, “ Listen, Charlie. I know that as a million dollar CEO it ’ s hard for you to connect to the common man, so when I say the word girlfriend, just imagine I ’ m saying ‘ ten-thousand dollar hooker. ’ ” 
 
 “ I know what a – “ 
 
 “ I SAID QUIET, ” Richard shouted, “ After my first date, in middle school my mom dropped me off at Chick-Fil-A, I had chicken strips. The relationship lasted 6 months. After my first date with my second girlfriend, I had a chicken dinner. The relationship lasted a week. You see the fucking pattern? ” 
 
 “ Yes, I think— “ 
 
 “ Don ’ t interrupt! ” Richard shouted, “ I had a date this morning with the girl of my dreams, and I ’ m starving. If my next meal isn ’ t chicken strips with a shamrock shake then I just – “ 
 
 “ A shamrock shake? ” 
 
 “ Yeah those mint shakes that you guys serve every… FUCK! ” Richard slapped the gun against his forehead, “ I ’ m thinking of the wrong restaurant. Sorry bro, didn ’ t mean to wake you. ” 

