[ WP ] A team of Allied paratroopers retreat into a forest and at night , their numbers begin to mysteriously dwindle .


 French fry: Sergeant, I can ’ t find Conners. 
 
 
 Sergeant: We know. No one can find “ Cupcake. ” 
 
 
 Reginald: Conners is Cupcake?! I thought I was “ Cupcake. ” 
 
 
 French fry: No, you ’ re Reginald. 
 
 
 Reginald: Why don ’ t I get one? Everyone else has one. I swear last week I was “ Cupcake ” 
 
 
 French fry: Right. You were “ Cupcake. ” It rotates. Now you ’ re back to being Reginald. 
 
 
 Reginald: It rotates? How come if it rotates everyone but me has one. “ Tuna, ” “ Pickle, ” “ Mustard, ” “ French Fry, ” even Franklin gets one – and the best one – “ Wheat Bread ” That ’ s two in one. He should share. 
 
 
 Wheat Bread: You don ’ t want “ Wheat Bread. ” You think you want “ Wheat Bread. ” “ Who wouldn ’ t want ‘ Wheat Bread ’? ” you say to yourself. Then you finally get “ Wheat Bread, ” and it gets stale quick, I ’ ll tell ya. 
 
 
 Reginald: Well, at least give me the “ Bread. ” 
 
 
 Sergeant: Reginald, stuff it. I can ’ t look for Cupcake with you blubbering. 
 
 
 Reginald: Come on. This is stupid. I earned “ Cupcake. ” Isn ’ t that right, Mustard. Didn ’ t I earn it? It ’ s all I want. Mustard? Where ’ s Mustard? 
 
 
 Tuna: I ’ m right here. 
 
 
 French Fry: What? No, you ’ re “ Tuna. ” 
 
 
 Tuna: No, I ’ m “ Mustard. ” 
 
 
 
 
 French fry: No, I definitely remember right before the jump you were assigned Tuna. I can see “ Tuna ” on Sergeant ’ s lips right now. “ Elliot – Tuna ” Just like that. He said it. Short and sweet. 
 
 
 Tuna: That ’ s a fib. He said “ Elliot – Mustard ” Just like that. Isn ’ t that right, “ Cupcake? ” Aren ’ t I “ Mustard? ” 
 
 
 Reginald: That ’ s right. You ’ re “ Mustard ” and I ’ m “ Cupcake. ” 
 
 
 Sergeant: Hold on. Forget who ’ s who. Where ’ s “ Mustard? ” 
 
 
 Tuna: Right here. 
 
 
 Sergeant: No. Kenny, stuff it. The real Mustard. Where ’ s the real Mustard? 
 
 
 French fry: He wandered off again. He always does that. He always breaks the rules. 
 
 
 Wheat Bread: Mustard! Mustard! 
 
 
 Tuna: Stop calling him that. I ’ m Mustard. He ’ s Pickle. 
 
 
 Sergreant: Stuff it. Focus. Keep your eyes peeled. Help us call. 
 
 
 Tuna: Well, I ’ m telling you. If we call “ Mustard, ” he ’ s not going to answer because he thinks he ’ s “ Pickle. ” I can tell you that much. He doesn ’ t think much of “ Mustard. ” He ’ s a “ Pickle ” through and through. 
 
 
 Wheat Bread: Let ’ s just call him by his real name. 
 
 
 French fry: You can ’ t call him by his real name ‘ cause that would be breaking the rules. 
 
 
 Wheat Bread: Oh, yea. 
 
 
 French fry: Maybe he didn ’ t hear us count to ten? 
 
 
 Reginald: Do it again, Sergeant Pepper. 
 
 
 Sergeant: Right. Good idea. 1, 2…. 
 
 
 French fry: What does Sergeant Pepper even mean? 
 
 Sergeant: 3, 4…. 
 
 
 Reginald: I don ’ t know. Something to do with a poster in my dad ’ s room. 
 
 
 Sergeant: 5, 6…. 
 
 
 French fry: Well, that ’ s stupid. 
 
 
 Reginald: You ’ re stupid. 
 
 
 Sergeant: 7,8…. 
 
 French fry: I ’ m telling my Dad. 
 
 
 Reginald: Your Dad ’ s not here anymore. 
 
 
 French fry: Either is yours. 
 
 
 Reginald: No. You ’ re lying. He ’ s just lost. 
 
 
 French fry: So is mine. 
 
 
 Reginald: Yea, well don ’ t say mine ’ s gone. 
 
 
 French fry: I didn ’ t. 
 
 
 Sergeant: Enough! Stuff it, guys. Come on. Get your stuff. Let ’ s go. Maybe Mustard went over the stream. 
 
 
 French fry: We told him not to. We said only up to the dead tree. 
 
 
 Wheat Bread: Which dead tree? They ’ re all dead. All rotty and crumbly. Doesn ’ t he even know how to swim? Why ’ d he do that. 
 
 Reginald: I ’ m tired. Can someone help me carry my gun? 
 
 
 Sergeant: Stuff it. We ’ re all tired. 
 
 
 French fry: Yea, we ’ re all tired. I ’ m hungry too. 
 
 
 
 All: Yea, I ’ m hungry. 

