[ WP ] For your whole life , you have been unable to perceive cats in any way .

Cats, felines, moggies, no matter what you call them, I've never seen one. Not one. 
 
 As I grew up I felt like it was a giant prank that the world was playing on me. Jessie Birch brought her cat in for show and tell one day when I was six. The whole class melted at the sight of her tabby, but all I saw was an empty cage and a bunch of apparently delusional class mates. 
 
 Why ca n't I perceive cats? Who knows. 
 
 It does n't change life too much really. Sure I've tripped over a few times, and the internet is a slightly duller place when half of all cute animal pictures are replaced by blank space, but hey I survive. 
 
 You could say that it has n't been a total cat-astrophe. At least you could say that if you did n't mind withering looks from anyone who heard you. 
 
 The story could have ended here. I could have got married, had a family, owned a dog, and lived the rest of my life without too much hassle. Except that's not what happened. Would n't be an interesting story if that was the end. 
 
 Yes, I did get married, and we went on the most wonderful honeymoon. A two month cruise around South Africa, and up the coast toward the Seychelles. So far so good. 
 
 Toward the end of the cruise, we disembarked in Tanzania for an overnight safari, through the Serengeti. The drive out was marvelous, the sun gently dipping over the horizon, rays of light scattering across the sky. Elegant giraffes were silhouetted against the ever darkening sky. Fantastic. 
 
 We stayed the night at a luxury lodge. By the time we arrived the sun had vanished, but I knew that the morning would bring spectacular views. 
 
 I woke at six, my gorgeous new wife sleeping soundly beside me. I wanted to see the sunrise, so I slipped quietly from the bed and padded to the ranch slider. I snuck behind the curtains and unlocked the door before sliding it open. The door ran smooth on its guides and it slid open without a whisper, and slid shut equally as quiet. 
 
 My feet tingled as I step onto the cool concrete footpath. The air I was breathing was so clean, as I filled my lungs with the purest breath I had ever taken. 
 
 A noise to my right caught my attention. It was the sound of metal on concrete. I looked over in time to see another of the deck chairs wobble, seemingly of its own volition. 
 
 My brain struggled to make sense of what was happening. Then I realised. A blood curdling scream left my mouth as the lion's wrapped around my arm. 
 
 So here I am, bleeding to death on the front porch of a luxury lodge in the Serengeti. All because I could never see bloody cats. 
 
 My last thought probably should have been for my wife, who was sobbing inside the door as the lion began to tear into my throat. 
 
 But as I stared at the rising sun, its tendrils of light tentatively feeling their way into a new day, all I could think was,'at least I can see that view.'
