[ WP ] Two hijackers have boarded a plane . Midflight they attempt to take over the plane only to find that all the other 'passengers ' are hijackers too with differing opinions .

Rocking back and forth, gazing upon the surfaces of the clouds through the window, Jacob replayed the instructions over and over again in his mind. 
 
 *Number one: Stand up. * 
 
 He could do that, he ’ d done that loads of times. 
 
 *Number two: Follow what Claire does. * 
 
 Okay, okay, okay. 
 
 *Number three: Don ’ t fuck anything up. * 
 
 That was the kicker, right there. He ’ d have to work extra hard on number three. 
 
 A jab in his ribs, a steadying look from Claire; it was time. 
 
 They steadily rose from their seats. Success! Maybe this hijacking malarkey wasn ’ t as complicated as he ’ d thought. 
 
 Claire strode down the aisle like a General cutting a path through her troops. Jacob, on the other hand, skulked behind like a goblin with an acute awareness of its own iniquity. He glanced at the passengers in order to calm himself down, but was immediately struck by the abnormality of what he saw. 
 
 Looking across the faces filling the cabin, there was a duality that Jacob knew all too well. On one seat would be a shivering wreck, eyes flitting around in their sockets and foreheads damp with perspiration. Next to them, like an anchor attached to a dinghy, there would be that familiar steely resolve; Claire ’ s resolve. Jacob frowned, turning his head back to focus on Claire ’ s feet and wiping his forearm across his eyes. 
 
 Passing catering, passing the rest rooms, Claire came to a standstill at the door to the cockpit. Without turning around she extended an open palm backwards to Jacob and twitched her fingers. 
 
 *Oh God, I ’ m supposed to hand her something. What was it? What was it? What do I have? A water bottle? Maybe she ’ s thirsty, if anything ’ s likely to build up a thirst it ’ s hijacking. * 
 
 She impatiently wiggled her hand while holding an ear against the door. 
 
 *Oh no oh no oh no, I ’ ve forgotten what she needed. Okay, * confidence *is key. Just do something, and be confident about it. * 
 
 With that, Jacob confidently slapped Claire ’ s outstretched hand in what he hoped would be accepted as an encouraging high-five. 
 
 Claire straightened her back, lifting herself up and slowly performing an about turn. She looked at Jacob the same way a particularly stalwart butcher looks at tofu. Nothing more than a whisper escaped through her gritted teeth. 
 
 “ Where is the hacksaw? ” 
 
 “ The hacksaw? We were supposed to be bringing a hacksaw? ” Jacob ’ s voice rose a little too high with sheer incredulity, “ Christ Claire, we ’ re hijacking a plane, not robbing a bank in an olde time cartoon! Do you want a ten tonne anvil, too? ” 
 
 It was the nerves which cause Jacob to speak so flippantly, and it was nerves which led him to literally cower in the face of Claire ’ s admonishment. Thankfully, something glimmered in Jacob ’ s vision which could very well save him. 
 
 “ Claire, the door! ” 
 
 A slither of light shone through the crack where the door left its frame. 
 
 “ It ’ s… open. ” Claire muttered under her breath. Either this had become the easiest hijacking ever concocted, or something was awry. 
 
 As she pushed on the door, they both gasped at the scene which was playing out before us. A tall, broad-shouldered man was holding a gun to the pilot, pushing the barrel into his temple. Next to him, a far spindlier man held the pistol aloft more as an offering to the co-pilot than as any sort of threat. As Claire and Jacob looked at them, and as they looked back, it all became clear to Jacob what was going on. 
 
 *This is a di-jacking! * 
 
 With that, a large group of people simultaneously rose up from their seats in the cabin and screamed out “ Hey, this is our hijacking! ” 
 
 This sent out a huge tumult all the way down the plane, with people arguing over theirs being the cleanest method, or the most worthy cause. One was a dentist who had planned a hijacking using only a toothbrush in order to make a fairly tenuous point about the importance of tooth hygiene. Another was a helicopter enthusiast / saboteur looking to discredit aeroplane safety. One particularly strange man had set up a hijacking via an intricate Rube Goldberg system of levers and pullies which were supposed to knock out the pilot via a knock on the head from an oversized domino. No-one talked to him. 
 
 *Good God*, Jacob thought despairingly, *This is an omni-jacking. *
