[ WP ] Geologists have discovered a new type of gemstone that can be used as any kind of vital organ

`` You ca n't be fucking serious.'' 
 
 Don's response is a shock to the rest of the staff; the anger unbecoming of his quiet persona. And yet, very appropriate for what they had just heard. What follows from the crowd is a storm of accusations and confused garble. A bespectacled man in the back row flips his dinky chair/desk into the sea of fuming nerds. Another chucks a porcelain mug at the podium before them. Essays fly in an AMA cited flurry. 
 
 `` Please settle down!'' The Administrator pleads, to no avail. He motions to the security guards beside him, and pepper spray is applied liberally. A bitter mist hangs over the teary-eyed crowd. Soon, the mob is an audience again. 
 
 `` We are serious.'' He continues, `` Using the latest in applied bio-chemistry, we have discovered that these strange meteorites have the ability to morph into any vital organ.'' He gestures an un-callused hand to the box of jade crystals. Somewhere in the back, a biochemist sniggers. 
 
 `` You're not convinced?'' He asks. 
 
 `` No, we're not insane.'' The intern's quip receives a hearty laugh; then his eyes receive a generous helping of pepper spray. 
 
 `` Very well.'' The Administrator smirks as he picked up one of the alien shards. Then he points at Don. `` Simon, bring me that one.'' 
 
 Don is picked up in Simon's muscular arms. The guard places him before his boss the same way a dog returns a tennis ball. The Administrator slyly retrieves something from his sleeve. Then with a quick swipe of an unusually large steak knife, Don's kidneys are gone. The crowd gasps: half in horror, half in awe of his incredible precision. 
 
 As the victim screams bloody murder, the shard is placed in his oozing wound. The opening glows red as a high shrill bounces off the plaster walls. Then suddenly, silence. The crowd gasps again, Don's kidneys are back. 
 
 The room is filled with the roars of ecstatic scientists, journalists, and one poodle. What were once tears of pain are now tears of joy... and also pain. 
 
 `` Sir this is unbelievable!'' The chair-slinger laughs, `` Do you know what this could mean for modern science?!'' 
 
 He responds with a confident volume, `` Sure! But that's not an enterprising mindset now is it?'' After the celebratory champagne has quit flowing, and the showroom cleared of all confetti, the Administrator holds another meeting. This time with a board of directors.
