[ WP ] HR departments across the nation start being literal when they `` terminate '' an employee .

The knock on my door was tentative. 
 
 `` Enter!'' I barked. 
 
 I knew without looking up from my paperwork that it was Carlos. He was a slippery bastard, always on the edge of termination but with just enough of an excuse to prevent me from taking action, until today. 
 
 `` Sit down Carlos.'' I indicated the chair to sit in with a nod of my head. 
 
 `` There's no easy way to start a conversation like this, so I'll just get to it....'' 
 
 `` Hold on Mr D.'' Carlos was already in defense mode, `` I know what you're thinking but it was n't me!'' 
 
 `` Easy Carlos, it's not what you think.'' 
 
 Actually it was going to be much worse. 
 
 `` I just want to clarify your understanding of your position and responsibilities'' 
 
 `` Do you understand that when you accepted this job, your shift started at 3pm and ends at 1130pm? 
 
 `` Yeah!'' Carlos replied, but with a look of puzzlement on his face. `` That's what I always do.'' 
 
 `` Do you understand that if you falsify your timesheet, it is grounds for immediate termination?'' 
 
 `` Wait a minute!'' Carlos nearly shouted at me `` Are you saying that I falsified my timecard? No way man!'' 
 
 `` I did n't say that'' I replied `` I'm just clarifying your understanding. Did you know that this is a terminable offense?'' 
 
 `` Well yeah'' he replied. 
 
 `` OK, I want you to take a look at this video on my desk. Pay particular attention to the time stamp running in the right hand corner of the screen'' 
 
 I clicked on the video icon on my screen and replay of the security cameras began running. 
 
 I had seen it before. Run at high speed, the people in the video moved back and forth lightning quick. Gestures exaggerated with the enhanced speed. The time stamp showed Carlos sauntering in the main entrance at 3:10pm. He was laughing and joking with his coworkers as he entered the work area. Carlos was goofing around and taking his time getting ready to start work. 
 
 Carlos was watching in real time as I played back the video. He leaned forward to look at the screen more closely. 
 
 Bang! That's when I terminated him! 
 
 I called for the transporters to take him away and I called housekeeping to come in and clean up. 
 
 I finished my documentation of the whole affair and prepared for the grievance that was sure to follow from the Labor Union. It was a grievance that I would certainly win. Five terminations since I was brought in to clean up the mess at this shop and I had n't lost one yet. 
 
 

