[ WP ] Satan gathers up all the lesser demons and announces that they 're going to be adding another sin to the seven deadly sins and whoever comes up with it gets to be in charge of that department .

Satan dragged a clawed hand down his face. They ’ d been in that boardroom for entirely too long. His suit itched, his tie felt like a noose around his neck, the air conditioning was broken because, you know, they ’ re in literal hell. Not that figurative hell would have working AC, but that ’ s beside the point. 
 
 The Prince of Darkness faced the demons that bordered the long mahogany table. Many of them were fresh ( ish ) faces, souls of the recently damned that Satan summoned to this boardroom. The more nervous ones sat towards the back, probably here because they were too scared to decline a direct invitation from the Devil himself -- fidgety, sweaty, still mostly human. None of them had anything meaningful to contribute to the discussion, or really, anything at all. The ones that sat closer to the front kept suggesting nonsense like violating traffic laws, or pooping. 
 
 “ Here ’ s the deal, ” Satan said. “ Big Man upstairs wants me to come up with a new Deadly Sin because too many people are getting in on technicalities. So far, we ’ ve come up with shit. ” 
 
 A timid demon halfway down the table mumbled, “ I thought it was a good idea. ” 
 
 “ Well, it wasn ’ t! ” Satan ’ s voice boomed. “ One out of every three people who croak end up down here, we don ’ t need that to become three out of every three. ” 
 
 A long, uncomfortable silence passed. Satan sat in his sticky leather chair, fingernails tapped impatiently on the table. Nobody moved, nobody said a thing. He needed to give these guys some motivation. 
 
 Satan stood to address the room. “ Alright, you miserable excuses for demons. I have devoted way too much of my own personal time to this. I ’ ve got angels to taunt, people to tempt, and I ’ ve got hot yoga in the Seventh Circle in fifteen minutes. ” 
 
 The poop demon raised their hand. “ Excuse me, sir, ” they said. “ There ’ s hot yoga down here? ” 
 
 “ It ’ s hell, you abominable twit. EVERYTHING IS HOT. ” Fed up with the situation, Satan ’ s patience snapped and so did his fingers. A red pillar of fire engulfed the unsuspecting demon, and in seconds, was reduced to a smokey pile of ash. 
 
 “ Now as I was saying, ” Satan continued, “ all of my best demons are busy with possessions and putting other souls through eternal torment, so I ’ m stuck with you lot. Now, whichever one of you can come up with a half-decent Deadly Sin, they can become head of its department. ” 
 
 Light chattering filled the room as ideas were shared among corner of the table. The first time progress had been made in hours, but Satan was getting antsy. 
 
 He pointed at the closest demon. “ You, ” he said, twisting his hand to turn the demon around. “ Idea. Go. ” 
 
 The demon stared at Satan blankly, mouth hung open. Before it could blurt an answer out, Satan snapped his fingers and the demon turned to ash. 
 
 Satan fixed his eyes on the next demon down the table. “ Idea, ” he said. “ Go. ” 
 
 The demon stumbled. “ I uh… racism? ” 
 
 “ Too specific. ” Snap. Ash. Point. “ Go. ” 
 
 The next demon stuttered, and didn ’ t get a chance to speak before snap. Ash. Point. “ Go. ” 
 
 “ Bullying? ” 
 
 “ Too broad. ” Snap. Ash. Point. 
 
 This routine went halfway down the table, charred remains of demon particles whirled through the hot air. “ You, ” Satan said, pointing to a large purple demon covered predominantly in scales. 
 
 “ Intolerance. ” 
 
 Satan raised his clawed hand and pressed his fingers together. 
 
 “ Intolerance, ” he repeated. He paused has he considered the idea. Lowering his hand, Satan felt a sigh of relief fill the room. “ Elaborate. ” 
 
 “ It ’ s an umbrella term, ” the demon said. “ It covers racism, sexism, homophobia, et cetera. ” 
 
 Satan leaned back in his chair. “ Interesting. But where would you draw the line? What separates a racist old lady from a young man catcalling? ” 
 
 “ The degree to which they express their opinions, ” the demon answered. Satan watched the demon intently while it explained. “ Someone who is stuck in their ways but doesn ’ t act on them is less likely to end up down here. But someone who say, attacks someone solely based on race, gender, sexual orientation, or what have you, or you know, wants to build a wall around a country will get a one-way ticket to fire and brimstone unless they can change later in life. ” 
 
 The room went quiet. All eyes were on the Prince of Darkness as he thought about the possibilities this Sin could possess. Without warning, Satan slammed his hand on the table. “ I like it. ” With one last point of his large clawed finger, he said “ You start immediately. ” 
 
 In that moment, Satan was engulfed in a pyre of smoke. When the room cleared, Satan was gone. 
 
 “ Well, I guess I better head out too, ” the purple demon said, pushing away from its chair. 
 
 One of the demons on the other side of the room spoke for the first time that day. “ Where are you going? ” 
 
 “ Topside, ” the purple demon replied with a scaly smile. “ I ’ ve got my eye on a certain Mr. Trump who ’ s in need of a visit. ” 

