[ WP ] there are 30 people , chosen at random , who are suddenly the only people on earth . You are one of them .

The apocalypse involved a lot more paperwork than I expected. But I filled out the w-12q form, wrote a stellar personal statement and submitted a urine sample, and then I waited. To be honest, I think the personal statement was just something to keep us busy. There was no way someone was reading 300 million statements. But I wrote it because it was better than listening to the news. Every day the same thing on the TV. Imminent death. No hope. Repent. Repent. Reality television. After sending in all my information, I patiently waited the 8 weeks and I found out I was approved. 
 
 I probably should have been more excited but to be honest I was just kind of nervous about it all. It ’ s not often that you ’ re one of the thirty people chosen to rebuild the human population and all that. There was supposed to be a parade and celebration and cake, but things got pretty dicey in the weeks leading up to the end of times. So instead we were told just to meet at an address in Oklahoma in the middle of the desert on July 9 at 1pm. That didn ’ t leave a lot of time because the world was ending at 8pm that day. So I packed up my car with extra gas, a shotgun and my pet hamster Sophia. The notification that I was to be one of the “ hopeful 30 ” as the media recently began calling us didn ’ t say anything about pets. So I figured Sophia would be fine. And I didn ’ t really trust anyone else to take care of her, what with all the mass suicides going on everywhere. 
 
 The drive to Oklahoma was uneventful and traffic was not as bad as I expected. I suspected that most people were not making cross country road trips and instead they chose to spend their last moments alive with their families. That thought was comforting as I drove west and looked up at perhaps the last rich sunrise I would ever see bringing life to the vast expanse of the Oklahoma plains. Also, I was making great time. 
 
 I finally neared the address where I would meet the Hopeful 30. This was my first apocalypse so I didn ’ t know how I was supposed to feel. Sad? Angry? Anxious? Reflective? A rush of all those feelings hit me as I arrived at the address. 
 
 But I had no time to process those feelings as I pulled my car up, because a bald man wearing ill-fitting sunglasses yelled at me, “ Where have you been? You ’ re late! ” As someone usually quite punctual, I was somewhat offended by the accusation. I looked at my watch. It was 1:05pm. He was right. 
 
 “ I ’ m sorry, ” I said. “ What ’ s a few minutes late when the word is about to end?. ” I immediately regretted trying to make light of the situation as the man stared straight at me shaking his head. 
 
 “ You were supposed to be here two hours ago. ” 
 
 “ But It ’ s only.... ” I stopped speaking. I realized my mistake. Time zones. I had driven through two time zones without remembering to reset any of my clocks. 
 
 The man grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards what appeared to be a large hatch in the middle of a giant field. I didn ’ t have time to grab anything from the car. Fortunately, I could still feel Sophia shuffling around in my pocket. She was excited because she knew something was going on. 
 
 The man pointed down the hatch and said, “ Keep climbing down until you can ’ t go any deeper. The other 29 people have already started the descent. Good luck my friend. God bless. ” 
 
 “ You, too. ” 
 
 As I started climbing down the stairs I heard him closing the gigantic metal hatch above. This was it. In theory, I would climb down into the deepest hole known to man in three years we would climb back up and try to repopulate the Earth. Perhaps not the most original way to save humankind but what choice did we have? With each step downward into the darkness, I started to think about some of the flaws in this plan. Was there enough air down here? Was thirty people enough to repopulate the species without inbreeding problems? Was there enough food? An hour passed. Another hour passed. This was a ridiculously deep hole. But finally my foot touched the bottom and I turned around. I saw a hallway with a light at the end. A room. A room full of people. 
 
 I entered the room and saw faces. The last 30 faces on Earth. A feeling of hope flooded over me. All things were possible and the human spirit could overcome anything. I was at peace. 
 
 That is, until I saw Roger. Roger Fucking Moran. Three-hundred million Americans to choose from and I got stuck with Roger. Roger “ life of the party ” Moran. Roger “ I got your back ” Moran. Roger “ I slept with your wife ” Moran. My fists clenched and the nails of my fingers tore into the skin of my hand. I would have to save the world with Roger? 
 
 “ Hey buddy, ” he said, walking up to me. “ Small world! ” 
 
 [ Got ta go do some chores. If there's interest, I can write more. Thanks for reading! ] 

