[ WP ] Your first question upon arriving in the afterlife is , `` what do people do here ? '' An elder member describes the phases that people go though once they arrive and warns you about the last one .

`` Where am I?'' 
 
 *'' You're in paradise kid; welcome to the club. You took a fall on some black ice and slid right in front of the lightrail. Ouch. `` * 
 
 `` Well what do people even do here? There's a whole hell of a lot of clouds and its super bright, but there's nothing to do. I do n't wan na spend my eternity in paradise sitting around. I thought heaven was supposed to be awesome?'' 
 
 *'' Oh it's pretty awesome. It's just that heaven is n't much of anything specific, it's a blank slate. `` * 
 
 `` A blank slate?'' 
 
 *'' That's right kid. Heaven is what you make it, kind of like life. Deep huh? `` * 
 
 `` So what kinds of stuff do people do here?'' 
 
 *'' It's different for everybody, but I've been around for awhile so I suppose I can key you in on some of the stuff most people do. * 
 
 *Well first off you'll want to get some good parties in. If that dorky hat and your poor job shaving are any indicators, then I'm guessing you did n't get laid much in life. Well congrats man, that can all change here. Remember Cindy Loo Whoever-the-fuck who you always wanted to bang in Highschool? Well poof. Snap your fingers and she's right here for ya. If you want to be a rockstar, go for it. If you want to get down with Cleopatra, you totally can. Heaven is what you make it, and most people like you are gon na make it a huge kegger for the first decade or so. But that gets old pretty fast. * 
 
 *My next suggestion would be to read. There's a whole lot of books out there. Any book you ever wanted to read, or any book you would have wanted to be written, they're right there for you. A lot of people can spend a couple hundred years on this if it's up their alley. But eventually you read everything there is to be written. * 
 
 *Some people also enjoy living out famous people's lives. Ever thought it would be cool to be Lebron James? Well it fucking is. You should try it. * 
 
 *But even that gets boring at times. You can get with as many girls, or guys, as you want, you can play as many sold out concerts as you want, and you can kill as many lions in a colosseum as you want, but it starts to get old after awhile. Eternity is a long time. * 
 
 *Eventually you'll be ready to move on. `` * 
 
 `` Move on?'' 
 
 *'' Oh... just forget I said anything. It's at least a couple thousand years of partying and good times down the line. `` * 
 
 `` Well now I'm curious. Just tell me.'' 
 
 *'' Well eventually you'll get sick of it all. You'll do every single thing that there is to be done. But what then? `` * 
 
 `` Yeah seriously, what then?'' 
 
 *'' Sometimes you just want to take a long nap. I've been doing this whole'God thing' for awhile, but who really knows what's next. If you figure it out, make sure to let me know. `` * 

