[ WP ] It 's New Years Eve . Your best friend died in September , you 've been robbed twice , your girl friend is leaving you , you 've just lost your job and the only one left to talk to is a gay burglar you 've got tied up in the kitchen . P.S . Your cat is dead .

I can barely believe my own eyes as I sit across from a man wearing the tightest burglar outfit I have ever seen. I mean, seriously. It's tighter than any Cat Woman outfit I've ever seen and you could see every single curve and crevice... Ugh, I'm shuddering even as I tear my eyes away. 
 
 `` So now what?'' I ask the man as I gingerly tear off his mask. I at least deserve to know the face of ONE of the three burglars that have robbed me in the past month. Jesus, I should really move somewhere else but it's a little hard when my soon to be ex, Maya packed up all of her stuff and took your box of rent money with her. Taking the couch was fine, the new comforter that I just bought? Fine. The router!? Okay, that one crossed the line. At this point I'm not even sure how many people have been stealing from me. Well at least I caught one of them and got him tied up. Oh right, this guy. 
 
 I shake myself back to reality and notice that my would be burglar is more handsome than me. I feel a twinge of jealousy and anger. `` Ugh, you're just Maya's type,'' I grumble. He tilts his head to one side and a curl of dark brown hair lays against his forehead as if he were in a fancy shampoo commercial. 
 
 `` Who's that?'' he's asking. I ca n't take my eyes off of the curl. It bugs me. Plus, if I stop looking at that, there's the risk of having to look at the skin tight suit that leaves nothing to the imagination. 
 
 `` No one,'' I want to grumble but instead I hear myself say, `` Maya the thieving soon to be ex girlfriend that can suck the juices out of five Popsicles in a row to the point where they're nothing but ice but could n't give me a decent blow job ever.'' Oops. 
 
 Burglar man does n't even look surprised by my outburst. In fact, it looks like he's smirking a bit. That pisses me off. `` And you're not much better,'' I continue. `` My place is so rundown that literally at least three people, that I know of, have successfully broken in and stolen from me. Including you,'' I wave a hand at him. `` I mean, seriously. Were you even breaking in to steal? Did you even look in the windows to see just how broke I am before deciding to break in wearing that? C'mon, even just spray painting yourself would probably give you a thicker layer of an outfit.'' Double oops. 
 
 I'm on a roll and to be honest, at this point, my living area is pretty sparse. It's a loft style apartment, or at least that's how it's advertised, but really it's just a living room about the size of a C-list celebrity's walk-in closet with a smaller area for a kitchen and an even smaller area for a bedroom attached. And by bedroom, I'm referring to the one mattress laying on the partially carpeted ground because beds are really expensive. So are chairs, of which I have two of the tacky colored fold-up ones that we are currently using, pots and pans of which I have four in total, and a desk lamp without its desk because that she-devil probably took that too. 
 
 `` What were you even looking for? Laundry detergent? Because I have enough for maybe two more loads so there's that. If you want more, well, you're SOL because I do n't even have enough money for even half of a new box because I got fired for accidentally spilling my peanuts all over the CEO of my company. If you're so deathly allergic to peanuts, maybe you should let people know before entering the break room where people are just trying to eat their meager lunch of peanuts!'' My voice has definitely risen in volume. 
 `` So what is it? What do you want? I mean, if you wanted cockroaches or some other load of crap, then man, you have hit the jackpot!'' I lean back in my chair, which snaps and makes me immediately fall backwards. I scramble up but the burglar does n't even laugh. That stupid, annoying smirk is still there, stuck on his stupid, annoying chiseled face. 
 
 He finally speaks up, `` Jack, right?'' I tense up. How does he know my name. `` Do n't worry, I'm not stalking you,'' he pauses and realizes how it looks as I start backing away. `` Well, hm... I mean, I guess technically I was?'' I scoot back even more. `` Hey, it was a joke! Sort of,'' he flashes his set of perfectly white teeth at me. Seriously, did Barbie's secret sex fantasy version of Ken suddenly come to life? Before I can make a run for my door, he opens his mouth to speak again. 
 
 `` I knew Liam.'' 
 
 `` What..?'' I ask in disbelief. `` So what, are you like a psychic or something? Or are you actually stalking me and just trying to mess with my head? Because dead best friends are not something you joke about.'' My fear and confusion is quickly turning into rage. I can feel myself getting warmer and my heart is pounding loudly in my ears. He can obviously see the change in my demeanor. 
 
 `` Hey, hey, hey! Calm down. I knew Liam before he died. I swear!'' he said, his smirk finally completely disappearing from his face. I ca n't help but feel a little satisfied that he's getting scared. `` We did kayaking club together,'' he continues. `` My name's also Jack. He thought it was funny because his best friend had the same name but was the complete opposite.'' I calm down a little as I remember Liam telling me about some guy he met in his club. I think it was some gay guy but I ca n't recall his name. 
 
 `` Yeah, Liam told me back in September that he really wanted us to meet. Right before he uh...'' Gay Jack ( as I've now dubbed him ) lets the sentence drift off into the silence. We can faintly hear the celebrations of the world around us as they prepare to ring in the new year. Gay Jack clears his throat. `` He told me you were a cool guy that had the worst of luck but I'm a guy who seems to have the best luck. We agreed that maybe you could use some of my luck. Even out the playing field a bit, ya know?'' he smiles again but it is n't the annoying smirk anymore. `` I figured the least I could do was try and get to know this other'Jack' guy that Liam kept raving about. Sometimes I would get a little jealou-'' he quickly cut himself off. 
 
 `` It's fine. Liam's best friend, remember? I knew he was gay. Even if no one else from our stupid close-minded town accepted him, I did.'' I'm still slightly surprised. Liam told me about a gay guy that he was somewhat interested in back in July but he never really told me details. Not that I had wanted them really but the sudden appearance of Gay Jack... `` So why are you breaking into my place though?'' I ask, suddenly remembering why he was tied up in my chair again. 
 
 Gay Jack looks down. Is he embarrassed? `` Well Liam said you love practical jokes but I'm new to this so...'' I sit there with my mouth slightly open. Joke? This... This was his attempt at a joke? Maybe it's the rush of catching my first'burglar' or the fact that even after death, Liam was still looking after me... I do n't know, but Gay Jack's joke actually seems kind of funny. I can feel the smile pulling at the corners of my mouth and a small chuckle escapes. Then another. Gay Jack starts chuckling too. Suddenly, we're both laughing so loudly that I can somewhat drown out the sad frustration that is my life. 
 
 I can hear the sound of my neighbors counting down the seconds to the New Year. 
 FIFTEEN 
 FOURTEEN 
 THIRTEEN 
 TWELVE 
 Our laughter dies down enough where we are both able to breathe somewhat normally again. `` So how about it, Jack?'' Gay Jack asks. `` How about we ring in the New Year with a new friend?'' I nod. 
 
 I know Liam would like this too, he always loved the New Year. `` Another beginning with new possibilities,'' he would always say. `` And hopefully Jacko's life will sound less like a horrible plot idea some kid threw together just to challenge losers with nothing else to do to write about!'' I smile just thinking about his odd but optimistic New Years speeches. 
 
 I grab a pair of scissors out of a cabinet as a roach scurries away. 
 EIGHT 
 SEVEN 
 SIX 
 It was exactly one year ago when Liam made his last speech. `` Hopefully, some kind angel will smile down upon Jack and grant him at least some great surprise!'' Liam had then leaned down to whisper in my ear, `` Preferably wrapped in some tight leather,'' he said with a wink and a pat on the back. I had laughed it off but now I realize how accurate Liam was as I work the scissors between the rope and Gay Jack's'burglar' outfit. 
 THREE 
 TWO 
 ONE 
 `` Happy New Year,'' we both say. Snip. 
 
 Gay Jack stretches and gets up abruptly. `` Oh right, Liam told me that this would help win you over,'' he says as he walks over to a bag in a corner. I had n't noticed it earlier because it was about the same tan color as the rest of my room. Liam thrusts the bag at me with a gleam in his eye as I look inside. `` Cat treats!'' he grins. 
 
 I look back at him and see the grin slowly fade as it dawns on him just how unlucky I truly am. `` Oh... Oh god, I'm so sorry,'' he stammers. I shrug it off. 
 
 `` I'm sure Muffin is living out the other eight lives of her somewhere nice with Liam,'' I answer. I like the idea of Muffin and Liam somewhere in heaven because I can almost feel Liam patting my back.
