[ WP ] Your son did as your will said and gave you a viking funeral because you thought it sounds cool . Beyond , a viking ghost yells at you for doing so and tosses you a weapon . Good Luck , Steve . It 's going to be a long afterlife .

The weapon clatters and spins, filling the air with a pure metallic ring. As I watch the weapon glide gracefully towards me, I am suddenly overwhelmed by a soul-shaking roar that forced all of my hair to rise in unison. 
 
 As I peel my eyes away from the sword, I notice a figure charging towards me with thundering steps. My breaths tremble and race and my mind flashes red as I snatch up the sword near my feet. 
 
 A flash of steel, a harsh woosh, and a piercing clash. My assailant narrowly misses me as I dash away to create some distance. The man readies his sword, his rippling muscles effortlessly guiding his sword into a slow dance. 
 
 He was a mountain of a man: his muscles bulged and threatened to rip his clothing apart. He sported a magnificent beard underneath the plain mask that concealed most of his face. 
 
 He lets out a roar and charges again. His charge seems simple - almost amateur, but strangely familiar. He swings in a colossal arc into my block. My bones creak and my muscles cry, barely holding my body together under the shattering force of the blow. My right leg betrays me and my right knee rushes to the ground, my sword barely maintaining my balance. 
 
 The man swings again at an impossible speed towards my torso. I force myself to block, dodge, anything at this point, but my body refuses to listen. The sword weaves through me and out the other side with seemingly no resistance at all. 
 
 Still I kneel, bewildered. I feel no pain. Looking downwards, it seems like the sword has indeed met no resistance at all - my clothes, arms, body, all perfectly intact. 
 
 Perhaps I was still recovering from the initial shock of being thrust into this world, or by the assailant, but I just started to notice a group of four standing in the distance, just trembling. 
 
 Then a sound hits me. I turn towards the source and find my assailant thrashing on the ground, struggling to get the mask off. 
 
 `` Your face, oh man, your face!'' he writhes in laughter, finally managing to peel away the mask. 
 
 `` Tyler?'' I shout in disbelief, `` What the fuck?'' 
 
 Tyler tries to comprise himself, unsuccessfully, as he manages to squeeze out, `` It was Adam's idea.'' 
 
 I turn around towards the group of four just as Adam starts shouting. 
 
 `` How'd you like your viking trial, Steve? Fancying a little Valhalla now are we?'' 
 
 With Adam stood John, Kevin, and David, their smug faces bright red from holding in their laughter. The last time we've all been together was in the winter of 2008, at the bowling alley up on 3rd street. Before David decided to have a heart attack in 2009 and leave us all behind. 
 
 `` Okay now calm down Mr. I'd-like-a-viking-funeral,'' Adam chortled whilst wiping away his tears, `` Let's go grab some beers for our new Valhalla resident.'' 
 
 `` After I beat the shit out of you!'' I shouted as I started to chase Adam's fleeing figure, before turning around to my supposed friends, `` You fuckers are next!''
