[ WP ] you are a retired special ops soldier bored with civilian life , you decide to hire hitmen off of the dark web to kill you as a form of entertainment .

***Bang Bang Bang*** 
 
 The shots missed wildly. I chuckled under my breath, amateur. The hitmen just seemed to get worse and worse. I looked into my backpack to see the supplies I had packed along for this one. A deck of playing cards, a pencil, a spool of string, and some smelling salts. More than enough. It always seemed so easy for them. A frail old man in a cabin in the woods, miles from the nearest town and easily covered in the shroud of the forest. I took out the playing cards, and took out the 4 of diamonds. 
 
 **Bang Bang Bang** 
 
 A piece of bark went flying past my head behind me, splinters falling over my raincoat. This particular one went under the alias `` Solomon Maverick''. His real name was Jimmy Davis, from a backwater town somewhere in Wisconsin. It would have been easy enough to tip off the authorities to the young mans whereabouts but wheres the fun in that? With the 4 of diamonds, I punched a hole in the card with the pencil and put some string through it, before resting the card on a branch. Taking the string with me, I hid behind a nearby tree. 
 ***Bang Bang Bang Bang*** 
 He had no idea where I was, the shots spraying all over the place. That made 10 shots, making his 9mm empty. Amateur, not reloading before hand. I weaved through more trees, the string slowly depleting in my hand until I held onto a thread. Jimmy loudly wandered over to the branch, looking around wildly while piecing bullets into the magazine. The crunching noise of his foot steps got closer until I could hear his harried breathing. I took out the rest of the deck of cards. I threw the whole deck at him, making the air resistance to make them flutter away in a cloud of white cardboard in front of the hit man. He let out a yelp and attempted to walk backwards, instead falling over the string trip wire. I did n't really need anything on me to take out these hitmen, but it did n't make using them any less entertaining. I doubled around quietly until I was behind Jimmy, as he scrambled up looking for the source of the playing cards. I pierced the pencil into his shoulder, carefully aiming for the area between pressure points. He let out another screech and turned around to face me with his gun. I let out a rapid jab at his solar plexus and threw the smelling salts into his eyes. Jimmy screamed and writhed on the floor. Another jab to the jaw left him unconscious. I took his gun and disassembled it in my hands, keeping the bullets with me while leaving the pieces on the boys lap. I used some of the string to tie up his hands before taking out my phone and called the local authorities. I had another appointment later today so I could hardly afford to dally on him. I walked for a while back from where I had started and picked up another pack, inside it a cup, a hair comb and some marbles. This one would be fun too.
