[ IP ] The final battle

`` Silt and shale!'' bellowed Kraggor. `` Tha' mountain is *movin'*!'' 
 
 Harlen stood still, disbelieving. The glitter of opportunity shone in his eyes, and as the quaking ground sent skittish animals scurrying, he could feel his heart rise in his chest. Finally, a worthy challenge. 
 
 `` Harlen, ye have tha' look about ye again. Remember last time, when tha' dragon-beastie had it's jaws around me, and you decided to try to kill it by *stabbin'* it with an arrow? I understand fightin' the good fight and protecting the people... but this is insane. An army could n't take this beastie down, no-one'll think any less of us for savin' our own skins first.'' pleaded Kraggor, his tone underscored by the glacial steps of the monster. 
 
 `` An army could n't take this down, you say? Well, we're a two man army, and there's not as many of us! We'll be harder to hit! A creature this size, why, it's practically begging to be slain!'' Harlen replied. `` Think of the gold! Think of the glory! Think of the women!'' 
 
 `` Aye, I'm always thinkin' about those things, and you know it. But you have to be alive to enjoy those things in the first place, ye ken? This is... it's suicide, plain and simple. I'll stand with ye'til the end, if this is it, but can we not try reasonin' with it first? Maybe it's actually quite friendly, who knows?'' Kraggor was practically begging now, his normal boisterous attitude dampened by the incoming mountain. 
 
 There was a brief pause, punctuated by the *boom* of steps as the monster drew closer. It had spotted them now, and a red glow had filled the eyesockets of the helmet it wore. Harlen, his face morphed into a manic rictus, nodded at Kraggor. Kraggor nodded back, and started to step up towards the giant being, the bridge-sized mace it held at the ready... 
 
 ================= 
 
 Outside of the game, Dean glared at Kylie. She smiled sweetly back, as if waiting for his fuse to run out. 
 
 `` At least you let me try to reason with it first this time,'' Dean muttered. `` That dragon was one thing, we had the whole party there, but this guy... he's much bigger than a dragon. Probably equally deadly, too.'' 
 
 `` Think of all the XP we'll get from killing it alone, though!'' Kylie explained. `` And the gold! You'll have enough money for that crazy cool armour in that wizard's shop!'' 
 
 Another person spoke up. `` Let's keep it moving guys. Dean, what are you trying to do?'' 
 
 `` Glad Henry's the voice of reason here. I want to convince the big guy to go back from where he came from and to not wreak destruction on any adventurers who might be foolish enough to stand in front of him.'' 
 
 `` Ok, do you speak Giant?'' Dean shuffled through some character sheets and nodded. `` Alright, roll for Persuasion.'' 
 
 There was a brief clatter of dice before Kylie began giggling uncontrollably. The giggle turned into a guffaw, and she had to take several deep breaths before she could finally utter `` Natural 1! Hahahaha! Oooooh, what does he do, insult the giant's ancestors or something?'' 
 
 Henry thought about it for a moment before replying. `` Actually, in your walk over to him, you come up with a well-structured argument about the benefits of returning to his roots and being peaceful. As soon as you open your mouth to talk to him, you realise: your pants must have taken some damage from that fight with the dragon, and your belt has come loose. Your pants fall to the ground, and as you bend to pull them up... you moon the giant. Enraged, he lets out a war bellow, and raises his mace, ready to strike.'' 
 
 `` Goddammit Kylie!'' 
 
 `` Good job, Dean'' 
 
 `` Dean, Kylie, roll initiative.''
