[ WP ] What is Santa Claus doing right now ?

“ If I keep getting up to do chores, I am going to lose this weight. How can I be a jolly fat man when I have to take the trash 200 yards to the dumpster through this snow storm 3 times a day? ” 
 
 Santa Claus was grumpy today, but Mrs. Claus was used to his moods. Her rebuttal came out faster than a striking snake, “ You were fat 50 pounds ago. If you keep putting on weight, we are going to need more reindeer this year. Since you insist on three organic fresh cooked meals per day, there is a lot of trash. If you want to cook for yourself, I would be happy to take the heaps of trash to the bin. Lord knows I need the peace and quiet almost as much as you need the exercise. ” 
 
 They had done this dance so many times that neither of them were upset by the exchange. Santa laughed and picked up his little red phone. They could hear his voice over the loud speaker in the elf quarters across the snow covered yard. “ A 30 minute break on Christmas eve to the first four of you lazy cretins at the front door. ” 
 
 Ten seconds later, there was a thundering roar outside as thousands of little feet bolted for Santa ’ s door. Breaks on Christmas Eve were the most coveted prizes on the North Pole. Santa looked out the window at the carnage with a smirk on his face. He opened the door and selected his victims. The remaining elves slowly slunk back to their building cursing their faster brethren for stealing the break out from under them. 
 
 Santa heaved two outrageously humongous bags of trash at the four winners. They knew the trip to the trash would take them several hours and that they risked freezing to death in the cold. But the prize was too good. A 30 minute break during the last 24 hours of the Christmas slog almost guaranteed that they would survive. Until then, they would be treated like celebrities. Every elf would trade anything for the chance at one of those breaks. 
 
 The four elves finished the garbage drop about 3 hours later and very late at night. As usual for this type of “ favor ”, they were required to check in with Santa to confirm completion. When they knocked on the door, Mrs. Claus answered and handed them their break coupons. Exhausted, they returned to their bunks to sleep for the remainder of their one day off for the month. It was hard being an elf, but today they smiled and felt like kings. 

