[ WP ] A freshly-made hamburger suddenly becomes self-aware .

I ca n't stop crying from the pain, being cooked on a grill has been the most painful experience of my recently-given life. I know I have n't experienced very many painful things but I can assure you it ranks up there. 
 
 What is this? Where are you taking me now?! Please, no! 
 I do n't know what I've done to receive this kind of torture, but now they have stuck me on top of a bun covered in mayonnaise and pickles, it's very wet, but it feels kind of cool on my meat. 
 
 It's getting darker as they seem to be covering me with another bun that appears to be covered in guacamole and lettuce. 
 I feel claustrophobic! 
 I'm scared of what is going to happen next. 
 
 They grab me, or, us? The sauce covered buns and I, I guess we are one now, and put us onto a plate and sit us next to a pile of fries. 
 Now they are taking the plate and putting it onto the tray. 
 
 I see other hamburgers, I try to ask what's going on but I get no response from the other hamburgers. I guess I am the only one who has evolved into an intelligent being. 
 
 They begin carrying us into a large room with tons of people, I see them viscously tearing into hamburgers with their disgusting human mouths. Some drowning us in ketchup, disgusting. 
 
 We are getting closer to the table where I am to be robbed of my life. 
 Was I really given life just a few short moments ago, only to have it ripped away so quickly? Oh, well so far this'life' thing is n't too great anyway, mostly painful. 
 
 They set us down at the table and the humans start salivating as they stare at me with hungry eyes. 
 I've never felt so terrified and uncomfortable before, no really this is the first time I'm feeling these feelings. 
 
 The human grabs me with both of his hands and stares at me for a moment, obviously admiring the craftsmanship of the human who made me this way. 
 I'm not an expert on humans but I do believe this human was a male. 
 He starts inching me towards his mouth, as I think to myself, this is it! 
 I'm done for! 
 
 Something inside of me explodes and I feel part of my meat tear in half, forming a break in my once singular form, causing sort of a mouth, if you will, giving me the ability to *speak* to this human! 
 
 I could say anything I want, anything that could potentially save my life, but as I try to say something like `` Please, do n't eat me! ``, all that comes out is a bellowing `` MOOOOOO''. 
 
 The human is taken back, dropping me back on to the plate, screaming. 
 Everyone is staring at us in disbelief. 
 
 I thought I had done it, that I had made my presence known and saved my own life through the power of word, I was wrong. 
 
 The human picks me back up, squeezing me tighter than before, gazing deeply into my soul, and says to me `` MOO to you too!'' before ripping my flesh apart with his teeth as I scream in agony, seeing a bright light appear before me, this is the end. 
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 **The morale of this story is, life is a bitch, especially if you are a self-aware hamburger. **
