[ WP ] You 've just been sent to Valhalla , but much to your surprise Odin has been overthrown ... By a man named Ted .

There he was, Ted, the new ruler of Valhalla. He'd spraypainted his name over every sign and throne Odin used to own. The other gods were less joyous that I would have thought, the food was still plentiful and they could never die. Ted slammed his cup down, `` we have new meat!'' He shouted. The hall went silent, all eyes slowly turned to me, just a small wimpering boy who'd jokingly prayed to Odin after being run over by a car. 
 
 `` Uh... hi... I'm Martin,'' I said with my hands tucked behind my back. 
 
 `` Oh, uh, hi Martin. Jeez another meek creature, come here,'' Ted waved his hand for me to approach. He was n't a very frightening man- he was skinny like me and just a few inches taller. Everyone else in the dining hall was stuffed with muscle that bordered on anatomical incorrectness. 
 
 Martin walked over, flinching as each warrior tore into their turkey legs. `` So Martin, you worshipped the old norse gods while you were alive?'' 
 
 `` No I just... jokingly prayed to him when I went for the ball and- splat!'' Martin clapped his two hands together for the sound effect. 
 
 `` I had a similar route here. So, there's something you and I share, do you know what that is?'' Martin shook his head. 
 
 `` Knowledge. These fools no nothing, they're all Jon Snows, and here we are kings in a world that's never seen a true crown. You know how I got this position? I poisoned someone, with the easiest mix of plants ever. I studied, I read a book and right in there it had a recipe of how to kill a God. Luckily, the same wo n't work for me, I'm no god, I'm better, I'm a man.'' 
 
 `` How'd you poison the all father?'' Martin asked, he kept his posture strong and his voice as clear as possible. Now was not the time to look weak. 
 
 `` Like I said, some plants around here make a damn good poison,'' Ted shirked him off, returning to the turkey leg in front of him. As the last of the meat juice dribbled down his face he waved a few scantly clad women over. They clawed at him, demanding his physical attention, but the demented man just smiled- what more could a man want? 
 
 Martin found a spot at the back of the dining hall, squished between two vikings that had never made it into the tales as more than victims. If this Ted fool could rise up to be king, maybe Martin could too. He broke open the bone of his turkey leg, holding one sharp end in each hand and eyes the pulsating neck of the viking to his left. 
 
 Martin stabbed, shoving the bone into the jugular vein and tearing it downward. The other viking seated on Martin's left drew his axe but not before Martin stabbed him in the kidney and moved to strike his jugular. This might be easier than he thought. 
 
 As the second viking fell, Martin heard the cool rush of iron through the wind behind him. That was it, he'd already lost. The axe severed Martin's head from his shoulders as it bounded across the floor. He should've fought them like Ted did, in the shadows.
