[ WP ] In a unanimous decision , the US Supreme Court decided to label caffeine a Schedule I drug . Describe the fallout to this decision and the United States post caffeine illegality .

Some, like their women like their coffee. Black and hot. 
 
 
 A racist joke, or perhaps just a silly jab at people with attraction to African American females that are indeed exceptionally attractive? 
 
 
 At this point, no one cares. The only thing that matters is that people like their coffee. A great deal more than the US government would like to think so. 
 
 
 Before I describe the Coffee Riots and the Prohibition, allow me to explain the causes for this unfortunate episode in American history. 
 
 
 The only US state that is capable of producing coffee is the state of Hawaii, which does not, and can not produce enough supply to satisfy the demand of the American people. Thus, a great deal, of course a majority of the supply must be imported from countries like Nicaragua, Guatemala, Brazil, generally countries that fall into the area dubbed, the `` Coffee Belt.'' 
 
 
 When the government realized that the massive demand of coffee and avocados was beginning to spike prices in those areas, suppliers of other illicit and intoxicating drugs found themselves in an awkward position. Many of them turned to legal farming and agriculture means by consolidating themselves into regionwide corporations. The most notable was a small group dubbing themselves the `` NameKeepers'' selling an exceptionally smooth dark roast coffee. The issues is that the proceeds were being used to finance a revolution of the darkest kind. 
 
 
 The NameKeepers were not the only ones with such an agenda and the US Government sought to shut it down. First by discrete means, but with so many suppliers now flooding the market with high quality coffee, there were too many. 
 
 
 Thus, they imposed a ban, by assigning caffeine into a different category of good. It was to be a Schedule I drug, classified as one of the most dangerous substances known to man. 
 
 
 That's when it happened. That's when it all when to pieces. Starbucks, who had previously been worried themselves about the source of their products rebelled. They sued the US government. Dunkin Donuts joined them shortly after, as well as various organizations that had vested coffee interests. 
 
 
 Productivity saw the flip side of a coin and fell off a building. Police refused to work, and many that saw the alternative of tea were soon silenced by a growing pressure. 
 
 
 Then, like a thunderbolt from a blue sky, an avalanche from a clear quarter, a blitz from behind, the Coffee Riots started. 
 
 -- - 
 
 
 `` Hi, my name is Michael, and I'm an alcoholic.'' 
 
 
 *Hi Michael. * 
 
 
 `` I used to drink half a bottle of cheap whiskey every morning with my, *gulp* coffee before going to my office in the northside. I drove a car and had a loving wife who did n't know about my issue. At lunch, I would have several beers and by the evening I would polish off the bottle.'' 
 
 
 `` Well, Michael, that's very brave of you to admit this to us. I think you are very strong taking the first step towards sobriety!'' 
 
 
 *The first step. * Everyone chimed in. 
 
 
 `` Sir, it's not that. I do n't miss the alcohol. But someone, just give me a damn coffee!'' 
 
 
 His body surged forward, veins bulging from his temples. He threw his chair out the windows, then dove after it. He forgot that he was six stories up, and ended as much as a roach is stomped on. 
 
 
 Police investigated and found no foul play. Then, at other AA meetings, similar episodes occured. It grew into a frenzy as cops could prevent these `` coffee suicides.'' 
 
 
 People finally came and called for the return of coffee. The people that had private stashes were soon found out, raided and looted. People began arming themselves. Civilization broke down very quickly. 
 
 
 All in the meantime, prices of coffee spiked again. Then again. And then it just did n't stop rising. 
 
 
 The price was so volatile that in port cities were it was smuggled, the simple rumor of a ship not making the coast would send the prices 200 % upwards. 
 
 
 And then, when the final straw was placed, when the government put the country under martial law, it happened. 
 
 
 Chaos. Chaos everywhere. Which was decidedly good for Canadians as a place to watch the carnage. We saw an influx of educated Americans and saw Tim Hortons rise out of the ashes. Tim Horton franchises tripled and outpaced other technology companies in the growth of business. Even after the Canadian government shut down the border to the US, people still came. 
 
 
 It was a glorious day for Canada, and a dark one for the US. 
 
 
 Long Live the Canadian Great Timmies.
