[ WP ] Describe your everyday morning routine in the most badass way possible .

At 0500 Hours I wake up to the intense ringing of the Electronic Time Bomb which I defuse with the Push of a Button. I march over to the artificial Hurricane which is superheated by the earth's mantle. After the Intense Challenge of Survival, I get into my Battle Gear while covered in the cold water of the hurricane. After that, I Use Nuclear Explosions to heat my prison rations while looking at the iFunny Times and The Redditer. I also file my long paperwork in that time, which is due in a few hours time. I then Sprint to the Military Convoy to the Prison
