[ WP ] After a comet hits a car , the owner and an insurance rep. debate the meaning of `` full coverage '' .

`` Hello John, thank you for waiting.'' The voice on the other line said cheerfully. 
 
 `` Yeah, thanks.'' 
 
 `` So you're looking to get compensation for...'' John could hear fingers clacking away on a keyboard, `` a comet landing on your 2006 Ford Escape. Is this correct?'' 
 
 `` Yes that is correct.'' 
 
 `` Were you within twelve miles of your house when this happened?'' the voice asked. 
 
 `` Yes I was.'' 
 
 `` Great! You are eligible for our near-home accident discount. If any damage is done to your vehicle within twelve miles of your house, you can receive a fifty dollar discount on the repairs and a free ice cream ticket for Ben and Jerry's at your local grocery store.'' 
 
 `` Okay.'' John said impatiently. 
 
 `` Let me just enter this in here.'' More keyboard clacking. `` It looks like you received a traffic violation three years ago and your license was suspended. Is this correct?'' 
 
 `` Yes but that was paid off.'' John said as the smoldering ruins of his car let out a puff of gas that made him cough. Fire fighters and FBI agents spoke to local news reporters while he was discussing his insurance policy. 
 
 `` Right. Let me just check right here.'' two whole minutes pass. `` Thanks for waiting John, looks like you're all set! Just one last question.'' 
 
 `` Okay.'' 
 
 `` It says here on the police report from your traffic incident that you were a self proclaimed Buddhist. Is that correct?'' 
 
 `` Well, that was three years ago while I was in college. I do n't really think about that now.'' 
 
 `` I understand sir, but was this comment made or not?'' 
 
 `` Yeah, fine. Sure.'' John said rolling his eyes. 
 
 `` Okay John, I'm sorry to say that your insurance plan does not cover the remaining damage from this comet.'' 
 
 `` What? Why?'' 
 
 `` According to our policy agreement Buddhists are not eligible for compensation from accidents related to nature. Due to the impermanence clause, we have a strict no compensation rule for this. Unless if you were to purchase our `` All Religions'' insurance policy beforehand, this event and any other freak accident most likely would have been covered. Unfortunately we can not compensate you at this time. You might have better luck contacting the insurance provider for this comet, they might be able to shed more insight on this issue. Can I interest you in anything else today?'' 
 
 `` Well, fuck me.'' 
 
 `` No thank you, John. You have a great day though and thanks for calling us here at Geico!''
