[ WP ] It 's your first time doing stand-up . Everyone laughs hysterically , but for the wrong reasons .

Kevin smiled out into the crowd, and though he could n't see them past the glare of the stage-lights, he could hear their wild laughter. He knew that this bit would kill. `` I mean, what's the deal with life?'' He asked spreading his hands and grinning. `` Just a meaningless succession of days that inevitably ends with the death of you and everyone you've ever loved, am I right?'' 
 
 The crowd howled and guffawed. In the front row, one middle-aged woman rose and began to tear her hair out, screaming and walking in circles. 
 
 Nice, he thought. Keep it going. `` I mean, who came up with this existence of ours? Really, what was God thinking?'' He took on a confused, bumbling tone of voice. ``'Hey, I think I'll create a bunch of sentient beings and give them just enough awareness to experience wonder and love and hope. Then, I think I'll let them fumble in the dark for meaning to their miserable existences, and die for no reason the middle of their futile search!' Heh, yeah, great plan!'' 
 
 A man a few rows back paused in his maniacal laughter to vomit onto the floor in front of him. In between violent heaves, his cackling resumed, high and piercing. 
 
 `` Just kidding, guys!'' Kevin said with a wink. `` There's no intelligent force behind this farce we call life! And if there is, it's either impotent or malevolent. Heck, maybe the Deists are right. Maybe God abandoned the universe!'' 
 
 A young couple laughed into one another's faces. They clawed each other's eyes, blood running in rivers over their cheeks, into their mouths. 
 
 `` Well, do n't worry folks. No reason to worry about any of this. Since the universe will end in heat death, you do n't really need to worry about anything that you do. Or anything that you feel, for that matter. Even despair is futile!'' He laughed and shook his head. `` All the works of humanity will crumble to dust, am I right?'' 
 
 An grey-haired man in a suit and tie chewed his hands to a bloody pulp, his laughter spraying a mist of blood across the rows in front of him. 
 
 `` Thanks, folks! You've been great!'' Kevin smiled and bowed. 
 
 The crowd rose in a standing ovation, screaming and applauding wildly. Blood ran down the aisles towards the stage. Hope, along with sanity, had died in that theater. 
 
 Kevin walked off-stage with a smile and a wave, and the crowd turned on one another in a chorus of savage howls. `` Tonight Show, here I come!'' Kevin thought. `` Hope Fallon will let me do one of those lip-sync battles.''
