[ WP ] You are the best lawyer money can buy . Hitler hires you from the afterlife to negotiate with god his passage into heaven .

I placed my briefcase down next to my client, pulled out my chair, and sat down. I knew he was guilty. He did n't deserve to be in heaven. But he was paying me 3x rate and I have a family to feed. We had n't met yet, so I extended my hand to greet him 
 
 `` Hello Hitler, my name is Amanda Gates, pleasure to meet you'' 
 
 `` Hello Amanda, pleasure to meet you as well. I've heard a lot about your husband, he is an amazing man.'' 
 
 I thanked him for the compliment then got down to business. 
 
 On the opposite side of the table sat Him. I could n't see him on account of the blinding light radiating outwards, but I could feel his presence. 
 
 I stuck out my hand, `` Hello God, my name is Amand-'' 
 
 `` Silence. I know who you are. And I know why you're here. Before you begin, know that I am omniscient, that I control everything, the movement of galaxies and the thoughts of an ant. Only the hubris of man could make you think that you would be able to sway my perfect judgement'' 
 
 `` Well I am a lawyer, it's kind of my job! ``, I joked trying to lighten the mood. He did n't find it funny. Hitler laughed at least. 
 `` Look, Hitler is not the best man to have ever live. He's not Gandhi. Heck, I'd even say he's worse than most. But that's not what it's about right? It's not about the amount of bad things that you do, or the severity of the actions, it's about whether you have *faith*. And let me tell you, he has more faith than the pope. Now, how could you turn away an honest Christian?'' 
 
 I waited but I heard no response. I looked at Hitler and he looked up at me smiling. I think I had made an impression on God. We waited and waited. I knew he was processing it all. And then he spoke. 
 
 `` Amanda Moskowitz, I am surprised that you are defending this man considering your heritage.'' 
 
 Fuck. Of course he uses my maiden name. Hitler looked up at me again, but instead of smiling, he had a look of disgust and shock. I gave him a sheepish smile. 
 
 `` I'm not Jewish anymore! I swear!'' but it was too late. 
 
 Hitler sprung up from his chair and was about to tackle me, but as soon as he did he fell as far down as I could see, into the pits of hell. I sighed, and leaned back in my chair. 
 
 `` You did n't answer my question. How can you defend this man?'' God continued. 
 
 `` Anyone's fair game when you sell your soul to become a lawyer...''
