[ EU ] The Genie from Disney 's Aladdin is having a frustrating time dealing with his new master , a Redditor who refuses to believe he is n't one of those trickster genies looking to turn his wishes against him .

`` This? These are your wishes? Master, this is 137 pages.'' 
 
 `` Yes, and I'll think you'll find it both impenetrable and extremely devious. I've had several top legal teams work on it for the past several months, alongside with a Mensa thinktank and at least four reddit posts under various usernames.'' 
 
 `` Listen buddy, I told you the rules. Three wishes, no wishing for more wishes, no wishing for someone to fall in love with you'' 
 
 `` Wish. Singular. Not wishes.'' 
 
 `` Oh well that makes it okay. 137 pages on one wish? You are absolutely insane. I've seen this coming, internet is ruining the world. And you plan on reading this whole thing out loud when you make your wish?'' 
 
 `` Nope, got that covered. If I preface the wish with'as per agreement, previously read and signed by both parties,...' you ca n't back out.'' 
 
 `` Back out of what? I've told you this over and over again. Blue genie = good genie. I am not an evil genie.'' 
 
 `` Which is exactly what an evil genie would say, as I've told you.'' 
 
 `` Yes, extensively. You do n't happen to have an abridged version of this by any chance?'' 
 
 `` Pages three to fifteen outline the basics. But take your time, you will need to have read and understood the entire thing. And do n't forget to paragraph on every page. Pages needing signatures are marked with red. Pages needing proof of identity upon signature are marked in green. And then the yellow markers are there for the witness signatures, do n't worry about those.'' 
 
 `` Witness signatures huh...'' 
 
 `` Yes, they should be here any minute. Three different notary lawyers and one of my best friends.'' 
 
 `` How much money, exactly, did you spend on this? I mean, the legal teams, the notary costs... Printing this thing in triplicate alone would have cost you a pretty penny.'' 
 
 `` Yeah, you said you did memory wipes? Because that's probably going to be the third wish, when I figure out how to get the lawyers to draft a contract which states they'll forget to charge me for said contract...'' 
 
 `` You know, I've met Vlad the Impaler once. I do think he's perfectly sane in comparison.'' 
 
 `` Just shut up and read the thing.'' 
 
 `` I already have.'' 
 
 `` Signed?'' 
 
 `` I already have.'' 
 
 `` That's impressively fast'' 
 
 `` Unlimited cosmic powers...'' 
 
 `` And itty bitty living space, so you've said.'' 
 
 `` Yeah, can we just get this thing over with? I've left my astrogolf game mid-putt and the black hole is going to mess with my putt if I leave my ball there for much longer.'' 
 
 `` Witness signatures first.'' 
 
 `` You know I can just snap my fingers and have them already signed? I wo n't even charge you for a wish, I really just want to get this over with.'' 
 
 `` So you can replace them with look-alikes and render the contract moot? Nice try, ai n't gon na fly with me. And they're here, by the way, this should n't take long.'' 
 
 `` Finally, now get them to siiiiiiign.'' 
 
 `` In a moment, We have to go through the identification process first...'' 
 
 `` UNGHHHHH'' 
 
 ___________________________________________ 
 
 `` As per our agreement...'' 
 
 `` As per our agreement...'' 
 
 `` Previously read and signed by both parties'' 
 
 `` Previously read and signed by yadda yadda'' 
 
 `` I wish for a tuna sandwich.'' 
 
 `` By the powers vested in me by the universe, I grant you.... **YOU WHAT? ** 
 

