[ WP ] Every sentient species in the universe receives a Jesus figure from God . It turns out humanity was the only species to torture and crucify him . You 're an ambassador priest informing the Inter-Galactic Holy Church what your species did .

`` You were n't supposed to kill him!'' 
 
 I knew from the beginning that this meeting was destined to end in a resounding failure. Well, no sense delaying the inevitable. I went in with the verbal equivalent of dual-wielded SMG's. 
 
 `` How the hell were we supposed to know that everyone got a messiah of their own? So what, we slightly maybe killed ours. I bet everyone else has too! He came in at a period in history that was... violent, from an occupied country, and stirred up shit with the leaders of said country, *and* the religious leaders to boot! Hell, it was two thousand years ago, how are we accountable for their actions? 
 
 What have I ever done to deserve this? I was born two thousand, one hundred and nine years after this, in an era where all he would have to do is get to a terminal and demonstrate a miracle. He'd be on a fusion-jet within the hour to the Core Planet, where he'd demonstrate again, and the leaders of all twenty-nine planets would make a decision in his favour. 
 
 He could n't do that. In thirty-three years, he managed to convince a few thousand people, out of millions. Today, he could have reached millions in seconds. Jesus did n't even know what China *was*, or that the Southern Hemisphere even existed. You dropped a convict into the middle of a civilization with no planning and basic psychic tech and expected him to convince the world? If we executed him, it's down to your organization's poor planning.'' 
 
 I stood, panting after the massive fillibuster I'd shot off at him. I silently berated myself for my stupidity; I'd done the holy equivalent of punching Jesus in the face. And then following up with a kick in the balls. Actually, more piling on the pain and kicking him once he was down a few times too. He'd probably lose a tooth at the end. 
 
 The floating priest made his decision. `` I'm going to give you another one. Here's Kevin Williams.'' He showed me Kevin, who looked like an Abra dated a pot plant, and it was born four months early. *Oh Lord, how the hell do I convince people that this is the Messiah? *'' I thought, as I headed back to my shuttle. 
 
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 For more stories and stuff, I have a subreddit: r/Thomas_633
