[ WP ] Whilst restocking a vending machine , a janitor finds something horrific jammed inside .

'Why do they even have these things?'' thought James Ottershaw as he rhythmically placed bars of trademarked chocolate delights into the vending machine. 
 
 At the back was the old stuff, he really did n't like to look at it... at all. Chewing gum and cigarette butts were his daily dose, yet near the back of the vending machine lay the untraditionally textured oozes that would have consisted of a mixture of vile, rotten, melted and exploded confectioneries; the sweet, the sour and the salty. Every time his hand braved the journey to the back the turned his head around and reached around as if taking part in a deranged blind man's bluff. 
 
'Today is different though' James thought as he reached his hand back expecting the usual squelch. He did n't reach anything 
 
 Squelch.'Or, maybe it is n't'. James sighed and continued scraping the goo off of the vending machine wall.'I better not masturbate afterwards' he thought. 
 
 Suddenly, as his hand made its way across the wall, it made contact. 
 
 His fingers had found their way to a severed human hand. ( Cue dramatic twilight zone-ish music ). 
 
 James sighed. Not this again. The paperwork alone made a severed human limb in the vending machine the stuff of nightmares. He needed to find a way out; a loophole, possible. 
 
 He stood there silently for a few seconds, still holding onto the hand, contemplating his next move.'No one can find out about this' he thought. And slowly, creeping up on him like a ninja spider, a realisation hit him hard on the face with a sledgehammer.'I'm going to have to take this home', he thought'there is no other way'. 
 
 And so, as he was thinking of an inconspicuous way to sell the hand on ebay, he tugged, and from behind the vending machine came a short, haunting yelp. 
 
'Oi mate! What the hell do ya think you're doing?' 
 
 A thick wave of relief washed over James.'It's only a belligerent drunk', he thought. He let go of the hand, feeling free of all weight previously pushed onto him and walked out.'Screw this job, screw that vending machine, screw the squelch, screw the belligerent drunk who incidentally is still throwing empty cans and unrecognisable syllables at me.' James Ottershaw walked out of the building a free man.
