[ WP ] As a scientist , you 're researching whether or not it 's actually possible to smack someone so hard their ancestors will feel it .

He sat across from me with his leg crossed over his lap and his arms flxed behind the chair. I glanced down at the paper again and read the opening line. I sighed. 
 
 Christ, why do I always get the weirdos? `` Mr Jeffreys, is this some sort of joke?'' I asked. 
 
 He sat up at that, took off his shades and stared me down with a look of sneering disgust. `` did you not read the research proposal?'' he asked, his disdain showing through as if the proposal explained everything. 
 
 `` Do you expect me to take this seriously?'' I asked shaking my head incredulously, `` all you've written is some nonsense about physically harming someone's ancestors... I do n't even know where to begin with this.'' 
 
 He leaned forward suddenly until our faces were almost touching and whispered, `` Is. IT. possible. TO. smack. SOMEONE. so. HARD. their. ANCESTORS. will. FEEL. it.'' 
 
 I looked down at his proposal again. His theory that pain transmits in reverse Mendelian patterns was just based on nonesense, and his methodology for testing the null hypothesis was just... cruel. 
 
 `` Look.'' I said, finally having enough. `` I think you are insane, and I want you to leave.'' 
 
 This time he sighed. He stood up, picked up his bag, turned to leave, and then - WHAM - I was on the floor with a searing pain in my head so intense it felt like my skin was about to explode. Words failed me, I could only lay there and watch as he looked at me with hopeful eyes and said `` call me'' before planting something in my jacket pocket and walking away. 
 
 When I next awoke I was at the hospital, my wife at my side telling me that I'd suffered a serious concussion. As I begun to tell her the crazy day I had, she silenced me and told me as gently as she could that my mother was in a coma, admitted earlier today after claiming of a serious headache only moments before. 
 
 My eyes went wide at that, and after my wife left I reached into my pocket and pulled out the folded bit of paper that had been planted there. It was the research proposal. As I lay there in my confused state, I read and absorbed every single word of that utter nonsense.
