[ WP ] You gain the ability to manipulate probability

`` Alright Mr. Carter, we're waiting on you to tell us how you've done it.'' Agent Jimmy says while chewing his gum. 
 
 `` I'v told you already. I was lucky.'' I say back without missing a step, I mean what does he expect? An elaborate plan about how I *crunched up the numbers* and figured out a pattern? I mean come on, what are the odds of that. 
 
 `` So let me get this straight. You won six lotteries in the last two months, and before that you got the jackpot at twelve different slot machines in three different states, and you were lucky?'' The other agent says, he has n't told me his name yet. 
 
 `` Yeah.'' I say simply. 
 
 `` Bull-fucking-shit.'' Agent Jimmy says as he slams his fist on the table, he's not as intimidating as the other one, but he looks like the one I do n't want to fuck with. 
 
 `` Do n't lie to us you motherfucker, we want to know how you did it or so help me God, I'll have agents on you 24/7, just waiting for you to make the slightest move wrong and bring you in.'' So Jimmy fuckface's partner seems to be playing bad cop, but then again, they're both assholes. 
 
 `` FINE! Fine... I'll tell you. I'm a time traveler who read about which lottery tickets will wi-'' I say as Jimmy leans forward and hits me. I ca n't explain how hard that scrawny bitch hits. I was on the floor and bleeding for a while, you do n't know how much pain resistance you lose when you have n't been hurt for a few months. 
 
 `` You think this is funny do n't you, you motherfucker.'' Jimmy says as he captures his breath. 
 
 `` It's not right for you to hit civilians, Jimmy, that fucking hurt.'' I say to him. 
 
 `` *Agent Jim* you cocksucker, this is the fifth time I tell you already.'' The other agent is holding him back, I do n't see why he got so angry. We're friends at this point, are n't we? 
 
 `` Karma always come back to people, you know. It's all in the percentages.'' I say to him, a little more than I should have but it's alright. He's going to get his punishment in due time. 
 
 `` You think karma is going to help an assho-...'' Jimmy starts choking, he should n't have been yelling while chewing gum. There's always the chance that he chokes on it, especially when I'm in the room. It's alright though, odds are that he wo n't die, especially since the odds are that the other agent will perform the Heimlich maneuver just right. 
 
 I knew it was coming but I could n't help laughing. I mean, karma just bit him in the ass, you know what I mean? 
 
 Jimmy was gasping for breath and left the interrogation room. 
 
 `` So, am I free to go now... agent, what was it again? I'm exhausted, so I do n't think I'll be talking anymore without my lawyer, anyway.'' I ask, he was so worried about agent Jimmy that there's a high chance that he'll answer my question. 
 
 `` Agent Rickwell, remember that name motherfucker. I'll be the one who puts the cuffs on your hands one day.'' He says to me, his face getting more red by the second! He's like a giant tomato! Hahaha! 
 
 He leaves me alone in that tiny little box, I think I'v made some bad enemies. It's my fault, to be fair. I'm not that good at math, I either know how to make the probability a hundred percent, or zero percent. It makes life kind of dull, that's why I went to the casinos and won those lotteries. I mean, getting a promotion and fucking beautiful women is all well and good, but eventually it's like playing the Sims with cheats on, you know what I mean? It just gets exhausting to play! 
 
 The FBI are fun to play with though, they're smart! They've been watching me for a while, but I wonder if they're going to win. You know bureaucracy is slow and inefficient at times. I mean, what if their evidence gets misplaced? The chances are low but it's possible! What if the lead investigator gets hit by a car! Chances are extremely low but hey, it's alwaaays possible! I just need to have a great attitude, right?!
