[ WP ] Every sentient species in the universe receives a Jesus figure from God . It turns out humanity was the only species to torture and crucify him . You 're an ambassador priest informing the Inter-Galactic Holy Church what your species did .

`` I could really do without the fucking attitude.'' 
 
 Its Holiness clicked its beak. This was an unusual turn of event. 
 
 *Explain* It beamed, vibrating its antennas. 
 
 `` You're all floating around, connected to a hive mind as a part of a planet-wide neuro-cluster. All you need to do to share and explain an idea is think it. We do n't have that luxury. The Abrahamic Faith had a number of divisive prophets spawning their own religions, each of which had schisms of their own.'' 
 
 The director of the faith paused long enough to down her caffeine mug. Physical and mental stamina legendary enough before 2 litres of stimulants was not propelled to superhuman levels. 
 
 `` What's worse is these denominations themselves had their own compounded subdivisions, and by the mid-21st century, the faith was composed of three major religions, each with three major denominations, and dozens of sects, cults and other divergents. I mean, we'll never know the exact number, one of humanity's policies was purging all records of heresy and corrupting influence.'' 
 
 * < TRNSLTR > AGREEMENT REGARDING [ CANTPARSE ] DISSEMINATEFURTHER < /TRNSLTR > * 
 
 `` Even ignoring the rest of Abramism's storied history, the events of the last 100 years are surely the most tumultuous if all! Judaism, with a minority subdivision in the smaller denomination unexpectedly waging a failed rebellion against its own government; Christianity, with Orthodoxy, Catholicism and Protestantism denominations refusing to unite until they had no choice; and Islam, as if the original was n't needless enough.. 
 
 Its holiness beams nothing, for it does not wish to interrupt the money shot. 
 
 `` In all these cases, the issue that come up is a breakdown in communication. We ca n't just shoot each other thoughts and ideas and, fucking, feelings! Sensations! `` 
 
 *Control is therefore important* 
 
 `` That's exactly my point! When humans ca n't communicate intentions protein, they kill. How else are resources to be protected? Never mind mundane food, luxuries and money, but the ability to control? Some modern States have had to deal with secession within living memory. Look at Africa and Eastern Europe! Try going to any country over there and declaring yourself President, or Prime Minister. Or, I do n't know, the king?'' 
 
 `` If he had not have just uploaded himself into your network, and instead declared himself, what, a Hub, is it called? Would any of you even know how to react? I think you'd have done the same thing as us, except there would be no disciples becausecl you all appear to think the same.'' 
 
 *Proceed*
