[ WP ] The Narrators go through shift change mid-story , but the old Narrator leaves without bringing the new one up to speed .

I blame the apocalypse on Constance's chihuahua. That high-maintenance designer dog was the only thing she was thinking about when I came in last week for our normal debrief before shift change. 
 
 `` Henry! Oh my God, am I happy to see you!'' she exclaimed, before quickly crossing herself and looking sheepishly towards the heavens. Ever since we were assigned to a project requested by the Almighty, Constance's habit of taking His name in vain had gotten significantly worse. 
 
 `` I think He's used to your blasphemy by now my dear. Now, shall we debrief?'' I gestured towards the conference room. 
 
 The wild look that never really leaves my coworker's eyes had intensified. It paired nicely with the semblance of a bun that was spilling out onto her shoulders in silver, unruly waves. And just maybe....wait for it... ding, ding, ding! A hand gripping my arm desperately - the trifecta. I felt a favor coming on. 
 
 `` Do you think, Henry... would it be too much trouble, it's just - my dog you know, she's not well - stupid vet is never available and I just, well you know how it is being a single pet owner....hehehehehe... but anyway, I just crack myself up, but I was just wondering - well I mean, only if it's alright...'' 
 
 `` Constance!'' Her head jerked upright at my tone. `` What exactly are you trying to say?'' 
 
 She froze like a deer in the headlights, just long enough to blurt, `` Ca n't debrief today but nothing unusual - I know you can handle it - so sorry - see you tomorrow!!'' 
 
 Then, much faster than any deer and certainly light years quicker than I had ever seen her move before, she was gone. 
 
 `` Why in the... piece of fucking shit!!!'' I yelled, just before God's thunderous knock struck my door three times. How does he always manage to show up for profanity? 
 
 `` Ahem... apologies sir, how can I help you?'' 
 
 God knocks because He `` knows humankind so dearly.'' Does n't want to make us uncomfortable so despite the fact that He has no bodily form, He uses his omnipotent abilities to knock before proceeding to boom down at us, a disembodied voice silenced by His lack of a hand, at least until given permission. The result actually serves to further highlight how bizzarely different He is from every other being in the universe. To be honest, I'm mildly terrified whenever He shows up at our door. 
 
 `` Well, Henry I'm just ready to get started down there so I'm going to need you ready to narrate. And, be prepared for a long day. This is really going to shake things up down there.'' 
 
 I collapsed into Constance's chair and began desperately searching through the sea of papers on her desk. `` Absolutely, sir - it's just - well, Constance has n't - I mean, she did n't... um...'' 
 
 `` She did n't debrief you?!!!'' His booming disapproval shook the walls of my office building. 
 
 `` She had an... animal emergency,'' I mumbled. 
 
 `` All because you all chose to defy nature by breeding such tiny, mal-adaptive dogs...'' God muttered. `` Well, despite this fatal flaw, I'm still willing and eager to hand down the Newest Testament, Henry. And to do that, I need you. Unfortunately, we do n't have an abundance of time so you're just going to have to keep up.'' 
 
 My mouth was instantly dry. My pulse fluttered weakly. `` I- I'll do my best, sir.'' 
 
 `` We'll need better than your best now. You're on the heavenly father's team after all.'' If God had a big, smiley mouth, it sounded like it would have been grinning at this last part. 
 
 I nodded at His pep talk while fantasizing about rolling my eyes. I knew His intentions were generally loving, but He seemed to expect more out of his creations than He'd endowed us with. I was n't fit to be part of any divine dream team. And if He needed omniscience, why did n't He just do it Himself? 
 
 It turned out that the Heavenly Father was n't kidding - this really was a day of giant proclamations. Old divisions broken down, the divine call for unity clarified, a number of archaic Old Testament rules wiped out. With each new name, date, scriptural reference or various other very specific detail I felt more and more overwhelmed and less and less certain that the narration I was providing was anywhere close to accurate. But it seemed there would be no review - as fast as God could dictate, and I could scrawl, the ornate books were being showered upon the masses. When I was able to shoot brief glances at the live video feed, it also became clear that humanity was taking in God's newest commandments as quickly as possible. 
 
 Twelve hours went by and with each new sheath of parchment we rolled out, the steel knot in my stomach doubled in size. When it was all said and done, we'd been at it for a full 24 hours. I was overwhelmed with two emotions: ( 1 ) complete and total exhaustion and ( 2 ) a quickening sense of dread that I had gotten little to nothing right. 
 
 Our collective pause stretched uncomfortably long and I became more and more certain that I was about to receive an eternal punishment. 
 
 `` Nice work, Henry.'' 
 
 *At last! * Relief washed over me like a tidal wave, cleansing my body of the flood of adrenaline that had been coursing through my veins every second of the last 24 hours. 
 
 Less than 30 seconds after God proclaimed me free of wrongdoing, a small gray flare rose up from the planet surface we looked down upon. I peered down, trying to identify what kind of storm system it might be when.. 
 
 **'' HENRY!!!! `` ** 
 
 The doors came flying off their hinges as God's wrath created a mini tornado of wind and cosmic energy. As I dodged a flying chair I glanced again at Earth. The growing cloud was now much more clearly visible. It's mushroom shape was undeniable. 
 
 That fucking chihuahua had instigated nuclear war.
