[ WP ] While walking home from work one day , someone who looks exactly like you jumps out of a bush and attacks you saying `` YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST REPLACE ME ? ! ''

The gravel crunches under my feet as I walk, steps in time with the music that echoes in my ears. Bach. A genius, to be sure. I've always liked his music. Partially for the way it makes me seem more wise, perhaps, and partially just out of a genuine enjoyment of his work. 
 
 *'' You think you can just replace me?! `` * 
 
 It takes me a tenth of a second to register the voice and spin around. There, raising his hands in twin fists, is someone *very* familiar. 
 
 `` James?'' I query, taking an instinctive step back even as I feel knowledge of various martial arts practises flooding into my mind. `` Is that you?'' 
 
 He takes a step forward, and I can see he's panting, out of breath. `` James is my brother! I'm *you*, you fucking idiot!'' 
 
 It's simple to keep my distance from him. The key with aggressors is to back off slowly, not giving them an excuse to close the ever-widening gap. `` Please, there's no need to get angry. I'm not quite sure what you mean. *I'm* me.'' 
 
 Unfortunately, my technique is not quite perfect - or perhaps it just does not matter - and he advances anyways. Now that the initial shock of someone screaming and swearing ( ugh ) at me has worn off, I'm free to examine him. To be quite honest, I must admit he does look like me. He's a tad malnourished, not even close to being in shape, and has a potbelly that does n't quite fit on his frame, but otherwise he looks similar to a me that has n't washed or shaved in a week. 
 
 `` I do n't know who the *hell* you are but you are going to get the fuck out of my city! Out of my *home*! You... you ca n't just replace me!'' One fist turns into a pointing hand, stabbing me in the chest with his index finger. I do n't think he quite expects the resistance he receives. 
 
 `` I'm sorry, sir, but I'm afraid I do n't know who you are or why you think I've replaced you. Perhaps you should try inquiring about this at a local police department?'' *Rule three-hundred and seventy-nine. Defer to the local police for matters requiring authority. * Huh? 
 
 He growls, and he's in my personal space, now. Not something I am entirely comfortable with, but it's nothing that would set me off. Staying calm is always the correct path to take. `` Look, *kid*, you're going to fuck off or die or something *right now* because I'm going home! To *my* home! Not *yours*!'' 
 
 I see the shove coming, and let him do it. My stumble backwards is entirely anticipated, and I feel *great*. It's such a nice day outside. The man- 
 
 What man? 
 
 I swivel around, blinking and searching for someone. I'm not quite sure who. There's nothing there. 
 
 Something *is* odd, though. 
 
 In the corner of my eye, I see a truck retreating into the distance, coloured completely white. 
 
 It's not that. The hands on my watch have jumped forward by seven minutes and fifty-nine seconds. 
 
 Odd.
