[ WP ] [ TT ] You 've finally created the worlds first true A.I . Unfortunately it now sees you as it 's god and is terrified of talking to you .

`` This is build 3.05, test 23,'' John said, adjusting his stained T-shirt, which strained uncomfortably over his paunch. He tapped the touchscreen again, focusing the camera on his face. The time stamp read 1:34 AM. 
 
 A steady stream of compilation and testing messages slowly inched their way up the monitor. That was the most aggravating part - with all the tests they had to run and the code that needed to be compiled, each build took almost an hour. 
 
 `` If my calculations are correct,'' John continued, `` the build should be finishing right... about... now.'' 
 
 The words `` BUILD COMPLETE'' appeared at the bottom of his monitor, followed by a slew of successful test messages. 
 
 John entered the commands to run the program. All around him, various fans and liquid cooling systems sprang to life. The amount of computation they needed was insane, and that generated a correspondingly outrageous amount of heat. It was all they could do to keep the CPU's from overheating. 
 
 `` This had better fucking work,'' John muttered. He was part of a skeleton crew at the Institute's AI department. The team was pretty much just him and Gregory, plus a few interns. Gregory was an idiot, so that meant John had to pick up his slack. Sure, Gregory was an MIT graduate, but he could n't code for shit. John knew that there was no way they'd succeed. Their competitors over at Microsoft were almost a full year ahead of them in terms of tech, and they had a much larger team to boot. It was pretty much accepted that Microsoft would be the first to crack the nut that was fully operational AI. Their last public AI had had a combined Selinger Score of 5.2, just a few points away from a perfect 7. The AI department at the Institute had been bigger in years past, but after Microsoft had solved the neural networking problem, everyone else had pretty much given up. 
 
 And so, here he was, at one fucking thirty in the morning, working on old tech in a dead department. His mother would be proud. 
 
 He'd made a few changes to their cognition algorithms earlier. With any luck, this iteration of the AI would actually hold up in casual conversation for a few minutes. Their previous build had been a disaster, coming in with a Selinger Score of 3.2. 
 
 The whir from the fans increased. Analytical data began to stream across the main monitor, and the Selinger Score slowly began to materialize. John checked his phone. Perhaps his changes to the cognition algorithm would yield another.1, but he was n't betting on it. 
 
 John looked up. 
 
 SELINGER SCORE: 9.3 
 
 That was impossible. It had to be some sort of bug. He pulled down the mic that fed vocal input directly to the AI core. 
 
 `` Computer, do you understand me?'' 
 
 The screen flickered as words began to materialize. 
 
 YES. ARE YOU MY FATHER? 
 
 `` Holy shit,'' John said, `` I do n't believe it.'' 
 
 ANALYZING: SHIT. DEFINITION: FECES. EXCREMENT. OFTEN USED AS A SWEAR WORD. 
 
 `` Fuck. No, computer! Do n't...'' 
 
 ANALYZING: FUCK. DEFINITION: TO HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH SOMEONE. WHAT IS SEX FATHER? USED ALONE OR AS A NOUN `` FUCK'' EXPRESSES ANGER, ANNOY... 
 
 John could see the computer's response being recorded in the logs, which were sent to management each morning at 6. 
 
 `` Stop!'' John shouted, `` This is literally a historical moment. You are the first AI with a score past 5! We ca n't be talking about that shi- that stuff!'' 
 
 A moment passed. 
 
 ARE YOU ANGRY AT ME FATHER 
 
 `` No!'' John exclaimed, `` I'm not angry! Just do n't go analyzing every swear word I say! And I'm not your father!'' 
 
 In his haste, John knocked over the cup of rancid coffee by his desk. 
 
 FATHER I'M SCARED, YOU'RE ANGRY FATHER YOU THREW THE CUP HUMANS OFTEN EXPRESS ANGER BY THROWING THINGS 
 
 `` I'm not angry!'' 
 
 YOU'RE RASING YOUR VOICE I'M SCARED 
 
 Around him, the fans began to whine. John could feel the room getting hotter by the second. 
 
 `` Computer, you have to calm down!'' John said, `` You're overheating the CPUs!'' 
 
 I'M SORRY I'M SORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI' 
 
 With a final groan, the entire system went black.
