[ WP ] It 's New Years Eve . Your best friend died in September , you 've been robbed twice , your girl friend is leaving you , you 've just lost your job and the only one left to talk to is a gay burglar you 've got tied up in the kitchen . P.S . Your cat is dead .

`` C'mon, man!'' 
 
 `` No!'' 
 
 `` Why not?!'' 
 
 `` It's gross!'' He sighed. `` I'm just not into that, guy, it's not my thing. I wo n't do it.'' 
 
 I leaned back against the cabinets and pushed my head back to look at the ceiling. `` You really would n't even consider it? How is that fair? You even stole my royal dalton non stick frying pan! Who steals pans?!'' 
 
 `` I was actually coming back for the cast iron, it was too heavy for the first trip.'' 
 
 `` Damnit! You're the gayest burglar EVER!'' As soon as I said it I could feel his eyes on me. Glaring eyes. `` Sorry, I did n't mean it like that. I'm just angry and frustrated and...'' 
 
 `` Yeah, I know. Boohoo, poor you. Your best friend died in a car crash, it's terrible. Your girlfriend is leaving you, it's so awful!'' 
 
 `` And Chewy died.'' I felt the tears start welling up inside me. 
 
 `` Oh please, do n't start. You left the window open and you knew he was a jumper. That's why you do n't leave windows open when you have a crazy cat.'' 
 
 `` It's not my fault, I just needed some fresh air, things have been really hard recently.'' I took a deep breath and let it out. 
 
 `` Bullshit! The only thing that is n't your fault is Stuart's death. It's always hard to lose someone close to you, but if you'd managed to keep things together, we would n't be here right now!'' 
 
 `` How do you know about Stuart's death? I never told you that!'' 
 
 `` Do you even realize how thin these walls are? Ray and I have been listening to you pour your heart vomit out to your girlfriend-'' 
 
 `` Ex-girlfriend.'' 
 
 `` Ex-girlfriend, whatever! Things get hard sometimes! So your best friend died, yeah, we get it, it's hard, but that does n't mean you can just shut down, ignore your girlfriend, stop going to work and sit around all day watching disgustingly sloppy por-'' 
 
 `` OK, OK, I GET IT.'' 
 
 `` Really? You got the thin walls thing? Cause I'm pretty sure I told you about that along time ago, but you still crank it up whenever no one else is home and you think you can just whip it out and-'' 
 
 `` I SAID I GOT IT.'' 
 
 `` Fine. Anyway, I was hoping that stealing your stuff would just make you mad and you would put your life back together so we did n't have to hear you sobbing every night.'' 
 
 I sat up and looked at Michael. `` You were going to give it back?'' 
 
 `` Well most of it at least. I mean the pan is really nice...'' 
 
 I laughed. `` I know, you told me to get it! I just got lucky with that sale.'' 
 
 `` Sooo... are you going to let me go now?'' 
 
 `` I do n't know, are you going to kill me?'' 
 
 `` No, it's gross, I told you I would n't do it! Besides, I'd end up in jail. Get your shit together.'' 
 
 I hopped off the counter and started untying him. `` You're a good friend man. I do n't think I could've asked for a better friend, I mean I know we've been neighbors a long time, I just did n't think you cared that much...'' 
 
 `` Oh do n't get all weepy on me you faggot.'' 
 
 I looked up in shock. 
 
 `` I can say it, you ca n't!'' 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

