[ WP ] You know the random driver in every action movie where the hero jumps in and orders to `` follow that car ! '' . Yup , that 's you . Every single time you 're trying to get anywhere .

What do you know, another very important person, in a very important situation, looking to do something together to further increase the importance of their extremely important existences. Everyday it's, `` quick! Follow that car!'' And everyday I do it, not because I want to of course, but because this is my livelihood here, I ca n't just not get money, my kids would n't ever stop complaining if I told them we were going on an air and water diet. I suppose they would eventually, but that's not the point, man. I have to show up and deal with this bullshit, some vanilla guy jumping in my car and rushing me off to here, there, nowhere mostly. People just do n't get tired of it, as if they've never heard of this situation playing out, it's as predictable as the sun. Whatever the fuck floats their boat, who am I kidding anyway, I'd rather be doing this shit than some desk gig, I actually get paid pretty well, seeing as that the chances of me being able to `` follow that car'' only work out about half the time. The other half I am just the ethnic looking guy with whatever accent is n't currently offending people, a guy has dark skin and all is well, the audience does n't know the difference between Brazil and Bombay, we all look the same to Mr and Mrs Vanilla. Today is no different, than the last ten trillion times and counting I've done this, John Smith gets in and gives me his grand verbose dialogue, before we are off after Jim Smith. As I sat there waiting for our first take to begin a guy got in, but did n't give me the words, rather just a deep stare, with a facial expression more serious than religion in the south, he said, `` drive, Emilio.'' I replied, `` hey man, you forget your line? I know they're complex, but get with the program.'' This is when I began to look around, even though rehearsal was n't set to begin for around 20 more minutes I have this moron in my backseat confusing what could easily be the most simple line ever said in a movie, what is with this guy, ai n't he heard, `` never go full retard?'' As I began to look around for someone to guide the savant in the backseat I felt a shot of pain shoot across my face, my vision flashed white and all I could hear was a constant ringing. Having thrown hands once or twice in my day I quickly realized I had just been blindsided by this fucking prick, so I immediately turn to throw my left as hard as possible when this asshole grabs the collar of my jacket and jams a gun in my neck, I immediately restrain myself, he then says again, `` drive, Emilio.'' I did n't give it much thought the first time around because my response was almost instant after having done this enough times that I could navigate the scene with a blindfold, handcuffs, and ear plugs, but this guy is calling me by actual name, not the ethnic flavor of the month. Having a gun in digging into your Adam's Apple is pretty convincing, so I decide to play it cool and go with it, I slowly back up and turn forward. `` What's the move?'' I say. He leans forward a few inches and says, `` to the Mrs place of business, slow and smooth.''
