[ WP ] You 're a demon fresh out of Hell Academy with a degree in Torture Methods . However , instead of being assigned to one of the large wards , like Identity Theft , Gaslighting , or Matricide , you 're put in charge of the little known `` Miscellaneous '' ward .

That day was the day of my graduation from Hell Academy. 
 
 I earned my degree in Torture Methods, though it was n't my best subject. I just did n't have the talent for it. I mean, I could disembowel someone if I had to, but I never developed the same flair for it that my classmates had. 
 
 I had thought I was doomed to a ( after ) life of mediocrity, but I got a mysterious invitation from one of the school counselors midway through my first semester. I met with her, and she pointed me in the right direction. With her guidance, I had decided to double major, picking up a degree in Prison Security. I had aced all those classes, coming out at the top of my grade; finally, I had found something I was good at! 
 
 I was aiming to get assigned to one of the Patrol Wards. Rather than actively torturing souls, I could work on keeping them locked up securely in Hell. There was a strange satisfaction that came from seeing their broken faces, knowing that I was the one keeping them from any chance of freedom. Of course, the Torture Wards were much more prestigious -- hence my degree -- but I knew I would be happier in Patrol. 
 
 My counselor took my papers, looking them over intently. Slowly, a devilish grin spread across her face. 
 
 `` I was hoping for Patrol...'' I began, trailing off. I was n't sure what she would think. 
 
 She looked up at me. `` You've surpassed our expectations,'' she said, still grinning. `` I have an even better assignment for you.'' She paused for a moment, letting that sink in. `` Have you ever heard of the Miscellaneous Ward?'' 
 
 I racked my brain, trying to recall the name. It sounded vaguely familiar, though I could n't remember what they did. 
 
 She laughed, as if reading my thoughts. `` Do n't worry, few know what it does. It's always tacked on as an afterthought, to divert attention. We're legally required to bring it up --'' she glanced at the ceiling, as if gesturing to Heaven `` -- but we do our best to keep anyone from digging too deep.'' 
 
 By this point, I was curious. A better job than Patrol? Most people would be talking about Torture, but my counselor knew me too well. 
 
 She leaned in towards me, over her desk. `` You know the story of Lucifer, right?'' 
 
 I leaned back in my chair, unsure of what she was getting at. `` It's an old myth,'' I replied uneasily, recalling the story I'd been told since I was a child. `` That he was the original Fallen Angel, the first one to oppose God. When his conquest of Heaven failed, he was sealed in the deepest, darkest part of Hell. Hell only exists to keep him imprisoned.'' I smiled. `` He's more for our image on Earth, as the king of Hell. It's an entertaining thought, but ultimately, he does n't exist.'' 
 
 She sat back down, a smug expression on her face. `` Except that he does,'' she said casually, as if this were n't huge news. `` Miscellaneous is the name of the Ward designated with keeping him locked away.'' 
 
 My expression must have betrayed my bewilderment. Lucifer was real? 
 
 `` Oh, he's real, alright,'' she continued. `` See, the deal is, it's in our best interest to keep him locked away. If given the opportunity, he would wage a second War on Heaven. He would organize us into an army, and kill anyone who did n't join his ranks. But he would never succeed: he could n't beat Heaven back when he was at the height of his power, when he still had the abilities of one of Heaven's angels. All his armies would be destroyed. It's a lose-lose scenario for us demons, who just want to torture humans in peace.'' 
 
 The idea made sense. I was still slightly skeptical, but I figured she would n't be lying to me about something this big. After all, why bother? If you're feeling especially cruel one day, you can always head to the Torture Ward for a few hours. 
 
 `` Anyways, in Miscellaneous, you'll be tasked with ensuring he ca n't escape. For the good of Hell, we need people who are devoted to -- and good at -- their jobs. You're a reasonable man; I know you can see the benefit of keeping him imprisoned.'' 
 
 I did. 
 
 I smiled an evil smile, preparing for my new job. 
 
 `` When do I start?''
