[ WP ] The running commentary of a boring , day-to-day event by a very excited sports commentator

`` Hello, and welcome to another gripping day of Road Strategy! We're starting off early, with a seven o clock rush. Oh boy, would you just look at this gridlock! For miles and miles these cars are just packed, bumper to bumper! There is some frustrated honking going on towards the back of the line, and I can understand why! 
 
 Let's get an exclusive close up. See how his brow is just furrowed in concentration! His form is incredible! I've never seen a more perfect hunching of the shoulders, and do n't get me started on his grip of the wheel. I've rarely seen knuckles so white! The tight overhand is sure to gain him some points with our judges. He's ventilating pretty hard now, it appears as though he's preparing to make his move... AND THERE IT IS, FOLKS. His hands are in the air! Never has such a flippant attitude been expressed so well without words. You have it here live, exclusively on Rave Television! What an incredible shot! 
 
 But look here! Up towards the front of the jam! The cars are just inching forward now, but a loaded merging lane is coming up! It will take a real miracle for anyone here to merge. There are a lot of competitive people out there today, and it looks like they're barely letting anyone in. Wait, what's this? A Greyhound bus just cut off what appears to be a Dodge Dart! The tension is almost palpable! The Dart has been entirely robbed of its chance to move forward and advance at this time. What a clever, and risky, move on the part of the driver. Clearly this bus driver is out to win, and using a unique strategy. Some say that brains are better than brawn, and I ca n't wait to see how this turns out. It's been a while now, and the bus is blocking two lanes worth of traffic. The Dart is indicating a movement to the right via blinker, and we can almost hear the impatience from here. 
 
 He's moving! Look at him go! Zipping across one, not two, but THREE LANES of bumper to bumper traffic! What finesse the driver possesses! Almost clipped a couple of cars in the process, but he is free from the Greyhound's hold! We see the Greyhound, still merging between lanes, almost at a stand still. What a kick to the ego that must have been! 
 
 Traffic is inching forward, ever so slowly. Now, I've had my fair share of road rage, I'm certainly no stranger to it, but what we're witnessing now is entirely out of hand! We have operators OUT OF THEIR VEHICLES. It appears that one angry driver has taken to an extreme and is WALKING UP THE CROWDED ROADWAY. He's speeding past cars at what almost appears to be the speed of light! This is what we came here for today, people! LOOK AT HIM GO! He's passing the Greyhound, and up on the right, he's passing the Dart! This man is clearly a trend setter, as we have not three, but FIVE others joining this man's tirade of anarchy! I ca n't believe this! We are witnessing history as it's being written, people. A police officer just turned on his lights and his siren, indicating a clear foul, but as he's also trapped in grid lock, he ca n't do much to stop our anarchists now! 
 
 This has been the most amazing four minutes, folks! Remember! You're seeing this LIVE, only from Rave Television! We'll see more, after the break.'' 

