[ WP ] You 're the main character of a story struggling to adapt to the writer 's poor English skills and plot holes .

How in the hell am I supposed to `` have butsecks'' with her? She literally did n't even exist until like two chapters ago. I do n't even know who she is. Or anything about her family. Christ, I do n't even know her first name. I may be fictional, but I have standards. 
 
 And why are her breasts *so* big? I mean, seriously. They could have kept the titanic afloat. Like, inhumanly big. 
 
 It's disgusting. 
 
 Jesus Christ! 
 
 Zombies?! Why the hell she being attacked by a hoard of zombies. And what the fuck are zombies even doing here. Were n't we just in a medieval cassette like three pages ago. Whatever the hell that is. He could have just put me in a castle like a normal person. 
 
 Whatever, it's not like it would have made it any more difficult defending a castle against a ferocious night. I mean, all I needed to do was wait until day but nooooo I had to keep shooting the `` night'' with flaming `` arroz''. I was launching literal balls of incendiary rice into the night sky. I felt like such an idiot. 
 
 At least now I'm being given a gun. Time to ice some zombies. An AK-47 is n't really the most practical but at least I can.... wait, where did it go. Oh for fucks sake. A bazooka. You changed it to a bazooka? 
 
 God damnit. 
 
 Alright. Get it together Master Chef. It's your job to make this work. Enough complaining. 
 
 Pasta la veesta you undead sons of bitches. 

