[ WP ] Having no friends after graduating college , you discover that your mother had been buying all of your previous friends .

Every day, I wake up and it's the same routine drudgery. I take a shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, and start thinking about how long it has been since I've had a job. Of course, I've been looking for work but it's hard. Any time I, by some miracle of statistical improbability, am invited to an interview it's as if they just ca n't wait to be rid of me. It's so unfair! It's like my presence alone is enough put people off. 
 
 I just do n't get it. I'm smart, I'm well adjusted, and I'm well liked. However since I graduated the only person who wants to spend any significant amount of time with me is my mother. Do n't get me wrong, she's a lovely old girl but my god can she be infuriating. I remember one time when I was a kid she tried to give away all my video games to some of the neighbourhood kids who were hanging around at my house. The only reason she stopped trying to palm them off was because I screamed right in her face. Of course shortly afterwards I found out what was really going on when one of the kids confronted me in a rage and told me that the only reason they were always coming around is because my mother promised to give them the games if they did. I remember that night she broke down in tears about how hard it is to raise me by herself. She actually had the audacity to act like she was hard done by after trying to give away all MY games that she bought. 
 
 Yeah, the old girl is a real piece of work. Like I would need any help with making friends. I mean look at me. I'm always considerate of people's feelings and I rarely lose my temper. Even though my mother tries to pull that kind of shit all the time, I only ever hit her sometimes. Just because she had to raise me by herself does n't mean she can just do what ever she wants. I've got rights too you know? She's got to take care of me, I'm her son! She's not even helping me to look for a job. She's basically worthless. 
 
 Anyway, it's only a matter of time until one of my prospective employers realises what a great guy I am and somebody gives me a job. Until then letting me live here rent free, cooking and cleaning for me is the least she can do.
