[ WP ] You are the luckiest person on Earth . Everything you make an attempt for works in your favor . However , there two catches : you are absorbing the luck of those around you , and anyone who tries to profit from your luck ( even with your help ) is met with the worst luck immediately .

I never thought my luck would run out. 
 
 In high school I was the most popular kid in school after I placed first in the district 400m race. I was the only person who finished; all the other contestants tripped in the final stretch. 
 
 Freshman year of college, my fraternity brothers dared me to steal the school mascot, a Northwestern Jive Turkey, from the Dean's office. I found an open window into the Dean's office and grabbed the turkey, but it broke free from my grip when I was trying to climb back out. It ran into the highway and got hit by a car, which just so happened to be the Dean. He was so distraught he shot himself just three months later. 
 
 Now I've graduated and I work for Lehman brothers, and life could n't be better. I am the top trader in my department, which is mortgage securities that I trade in the foreign market. I work hard and I get paid well for it. People at work call me `` Lucky Jim'' because I never make a bad trade. In the ten years I've worked here, everyone else has been fired and replaced except me. It's like I can do no wrong. 
 
 One day I get a call from Hank Watskin, the chairman of the board, who asks me to pay him a visit. I accept. Hank tells me that the higher-ups have noticed the superb quality of my work and they want to reward me. I tell him I'm honored. He gives me a contract to sign and tells me to enjoy my new office. I am officially the new Executive Vice President of the trading department. I tripled my salary in one day. I went home to my wife and shared the great news with her which we celebrated vigorously. 
 
 The next day I come in to the sound of shredders and panic. I find Tom in his office and ask what the hell is going on. `` We've declared bankruptcy,'' he says. `` We're all royally fucked.'' `` Holy shit,'' I think to myself. There's no way this is real. One minute I'm on top of the world and the next minute I'm losing my job! What the hell! This ca n't be happening. 
 
 I stride to my office and check my messages. Calls of panic from almost every trader on the floor. I listened to a few and skipped the rest. There's nothing I can do to help them now. My head sinks into my hands and I clutch my hair, trying to make sense of all this. Then it hits me -- I have a contract! There has to be some sort of provision in case the shit hits the fan. $ 500k severance package in case of termination. That'll work. Better call Goldman and see if they're hiring.
