[ WP ] You form a pact with the monster in your closet to work together in order to get rid of your terrible roommate .

“ What the hell are you? ” 
 
 The... I don ’ t know... creature? Monster? Umm... halucination? The ‘ whatever-it-was ’ I held upsidedown by the my right hand muttered something completely incomprehensible, and I just chuckled to myself. Of course, what was I thinking? Why would I even expect an answer here? From an animal—even one that looked this? Just another sign of my deteriorating sanity. 
 
 I kept my phone ’ s flashlight pointed at it, so I could get a better look. Honestly, in my mind, it looked like someone covered one of those Jurassic Park raptors in dark blue feathers, gave it wicked beak—that was still filled with fangs, of course—and then shrunk it down to the size of a large cat. Was it some kind of mutant bird? It didn ’ t have any wings, and birds didn ’ t have talons like that on their forelimbs, but well, evolutionary throwback maybe? I mean with all the chemicals that they ’ re pumping out, it might be possible, maybe? 
 
 Now I wishing I hadn ’ t slept through most of high school biology. 
 
 But what was really weird were its eyes. Pale blue, round... it almost looked human. Heck, it seemed like it was glaring at me. Nah, it had to be a trick of the light. I moved my phone a bit closer, hoping to get a reaction from— 
 
 “ Could you get that away from my face, please? ” 
 
 I almost dropped the creature then and there. Honestly, I don ’ t know I didn ’ t, but somehow I kept my grip on its tail. “ You... you talk? ” 
 
 “ And you ’ re not a 12-year-old. ” the creature grumbled, passing a claw over its eyes. “ Oh, I am in so much shit. ” 
 
 I just gawked at this creature. It did talk. And it understood me. “ What the heck are you? ” 
 
 The creature looked at me for a few moments, as if trying to decide what to say, before it raised its claws in the ultimate ‘ fuck it ’ expression. “ I ’ m a closet monster, ” it said with a massive sigh. 
 
 “ A... a what? ” 
 
 “ A monster... ” it pointed at itself, “ that lives in your closet, ” it pointed at my open closet door. 
 
 “ But... I clean up in there! ” I protested. 
 
 “ I don ’ t... ugh... ” the monster groaned. “ You ’ re a sleeper, aren ’ t you? Oh, by the Bogeyman, I am in so much shit... ” 
 
 “ I... well I sleep, if that ’ s what you mean. ” 
 
 The monster released a massive sigh. “ I am dead. Like straight up, write my epitaph right now. I go out to get a quick meal, procrastinated a bit too much so bones says all they ’ ve got left are places way out in boonies, so I decide fuck it, I ’ ll just go my old haunts, and... straight up by some teenager with a cellphone. Because of course, when I decide not check, the Kims just happen to move and you move in. ” 
 
 “ You know the Kims? ” I stared at the monster. “ We ’ re renting from them. ” 
 
 “ I haunted the kid for like two years. The older one. If you wonder why he ’ s afraid of birds, yeah, that ’ s all me. ” 
 
 “ Oh God... ” I sunk onto my bed, still holding the creature by its tail. “ You ’ re actually a monster. ” 
 
 “ Yeah, I think I said as much.'' it grumbled. 
 
 “ And you came here through my closet to eat me. ” 
 
 “ What? No! ” the monster looked genuinely offend. “ Bogeyman, no! I ’ m not a vampire! ” 
 
 “ Vampire? ” 
 
 “ Right, sleeper... you have no idea about vampire, or werewolves, or ghosts, or dragons. ” 
 
 “ Dragons. ” I stared at monster. 
 
 “ Yeah, dragons. Big, flying lizards. Lots of magic. Rather arrogant. Like to threaten to kill you in various graphic ways if you mess with their fortunes. Those dragons. They ’ re real. Everything ’ s real. Bermuda triangle. Atlantis. Summoning demons—don ’ t do that, it ’ s bad for your soul. Ugh... magic swords. Honestly, I ’ m not good at this. And being held upside-down like this doesn ’ t help. I ’ m getting a bit dizzy. ” 
 
 I stared at the raptor-like creature I held in my hands. “ This has to be a joke. You ’ re a robot, right? And Mike ’ s controlling you? Or did Yuri program you? ” 
 
 “ Nope, nope, I ’ m a monster. Also, AIs are real, but that ’ s mad science, so don ’ t ask me about it. I ’ m worse with machines than I am with magic. I ’ m actually really good at photography though, so... ” 
 
 “ Magic? ” 
 
 “ How do you think I got into your closet, ” the monster gestured towards the closet. “ Because if I lived in there, I would have known that there ’ s some random teen occupying this room now instead of the kid I ’ ve been haunting for two years. And I wouldn ’ t have bothered you. And I probably be back home by now, working on my contact sheets. ” I looked at the creature in disbelief, and it rolled its eyes. “ Okay, fine, I ’ d be procrastinating because, well, I ’ m in university, and it ’ s when you ’ re in university. You procrastinate. You ’ ll learn that in a few years. ” 
 
 “ Actually... I am in university, ” I muttered under my breath. Great, even the monsters in my closet keep thinking I look too young. 
 
 “ Really, ‘ cause you look a bit young to me. But that could just be the rush of ichor to my brain. Because you are holding me upside-down here. ” 
 
 With a sigh, I dropped the creature onto the bed next to me. It rolled onto its stomach, and gingerly grabbed its feathered tail. “ Ow... ow... yeah, I ’ m going to be feeling that for a week... ” 
 
 “ So what, ” I asked the closet monster. “ Do you go to some monster university? Like in that disney film? ” 
 
 “ If you count Simon Fraiser as a monster university... ” the monster grumbled. 
 
 “ I... go to SFU. I ’ ve never seen you around. ” 
 
 The monster glared up at me and sighed. “ Can you turn off that light for like two seconds? Please? ” 
 
 I hesitated for a second. I totally in over my head here, and I had no idea what was going on. But on the other hand, this monster seemed more depressed than threatening, honestly. So I swiped off the light. 
 
 Darkness fell across my bedroom, and as my eyes adjusted to the sudden shift in light I felt a massive rush around me. I swore I shadows move. Quickly, I flicked my light back on, and I pointed it at the monster. 
 
 Only it wasn ’ t a monster anymore. It was... “ The president of the photography club? ” 
 
 “ No, I ’ m the spokesman... ” the human muttered, as he brushed his dark hair out of his face. “ I ’ ve been trying be president, but Quinn ’ s sewn up the votes ‘ cause he works at Domino ’ s and gets the club half-price pizzas. Bastard. ” 
 
 “ You ’ re a monster. ” 
 
 “ Yeah, ” he smiled a huge smile and held his hands out in an over-the-top display of sarcasm. “ I thought I said that already. ” 
 
 “ But you ’ re a human. ” 
 
 “ No, I ’ m a monster. I can just look like a human. ” 
 
 “ And you go to university. ” 
 
 “ Yeah, ‘ cause you can ’ t do anything these days without a degree. ” 
 
 “ But you ’ re a monster. ” 
 
 “ We ’ ve established that... ” the guy beside me was clearly getting frustrated. 
 
 “ But— ” 
 
 Behind me, there was a furious pounding on the wall. “ GO TO BED, FAGGOT! IT ’ S FOUR-THIRTY! FUCK! ” 
 
 The guy beside me jumped up, and looked behind us. “ What the... ” 
 
 “ I... ” I sighed, and lowered my voice. “ Well, there ’ s a reason I was awake at four AM on a Wednesday morning when I have class in... three hours? ” I smiled wanely. 
 
 “ Okay? ” the monster-man looked at me and then back at the wall. “ Because if he— ” 
 
 “ I ’ m 18-years-old, graduated early, from the interior, so everybody I know is back in school three, four hours away here, if the roads are good. My family doesn ’ t have a lot of money, so we found one the cheapest rents close to school, and there ’ s a good reason. Because the Kim ’ s newphew is renting the other. And he ’ s a pro-gamer wanna-be who stays up ‘ till early morning blasting his games and playing his dance music, he has parties every weekend, he has probably never touched a cloth in his life, and flies are everywhere and he acts like he owns the place ‘ cause he ’ s their nephew and aaaaaaaaaaaaugh... ” I fell back onto my bed. 
 
 “ You feeling okay there, guy? ” the monster actually sounded concerned for me. 
 
 “ I ’ m not getting sleep, I ’ m failing my classes, and I ’ m afraid I ’ m gon na let my parents down. And there ’ s now a monster in my closet. ” 
 
 “ I don ’ t... ” he caught himself before going any further. “ Listen, okay. I know things are tough. But right now, you and I are going to have to work together. Because right now, you ’ re my responsibility. You ’ re awakened now, and you ’ re start seeing all sorts of weirdness. And because I screwed up and ended up waking you up, I— ” 
 
 “ I haven ’ t been able to sleep in weeks... ” I grumbled. 
 
 “ Metaphorically! ” he snapped back at me. “ You couldn ’ t see magic now you can, you were asleep now you ’ re awake, you pierced the Veil. Whatever you want to say. ” 
 
 “ So what, you ’ re supposed to be my teacher? ” 
 
 The monster-guy made a thoroughly unhappy sound and sat down next to me. “ Yes? Kinda. I have no idea. I just know if you cause trouble, my ass is grass. ” 
 
 “ So now we ’ re both screwed... ” I looked over at him. 
 
 “ Pretty much, ” he sighed. 
 
 “ I SAID CUT IT FAGGOT! ” there was more pounding on the wall. 
 
 “ Oh God... ” I closed my eyes, and groaned. Then, in my overtired state, a stupid idea came to mind. I looked up at the monster. “ You mentioned you had a room, right? ” 
 
 “ Yeah, I have a small loft way down in Surrey. I wanted something bigger or closer, but the Parliament— ” 
 
 “ So, you, as a human, have a place? ” 
 
 “ Yeah... ” 
 
 “ And you as a monster, you scare people. ” 
 
 “ It ’ s what we do. ” 
 
 “ How would you like a bigger apartment? ” I grinned. “ One where you can easily watch me? Plus it ’ s closer to the university. ” 
 
 `` What?'' 
 
 `` Well, you scare my roommate, he becomes convinced that this haunted, I dunno, he moves out, and...'' 
 
 The monster stared at me for a few seconds, speechless. 
 
 “ Hey,'' I shrugged. `` You solve my problems, and I can try to solve yours, I guess. Win win? ” 
 
 “ By the bogeyman... ” the monster muttered, and held forth his hand. “ I guess it ’ s a deal. ” 
 
 I grabbed it and shook his hand. “ Thanks... I don ’ t know your name. I can ’ t just keep calling you ‘ monster, ’ can I? ” 
 
 “ You can, but you ’ ve got a point. It ’ s Kevin Wong when I look like this. ” 
 
 “ And when you look like the raptor? ” 
 
 “ Well, ” he smiled, and I swore I saw fangs. “ Call me Claw. By the way, you wouldn ’ t happen to know what your soon-to-be former roommate is afraid of? ” 
 
 I smiled back. This was going to be the start of a productive friendship.
