[ WP ] A group of adventurers discover a robot who 's been awake but immobile for hundreds of years .

`` Holy hell.'' Rob shined his flashlight on the wreck. The metal hull was covered in jagged rents, and the smooth curves had been crushed and dented, but the basic shape was still there. Two arms, two legs, and a head. `` Guys, it's a robot!'' 
 
 Mark was at his side in an instant. `` Look at that. It's got a duralloy frame. It must be a pre-Collapse model! Do you realize what this means?'' 
 
 `` Yeah, that much duralloy could pay our rent for half a year.'' 
 
 `` *That's* what you notice? The scrap value?'' 
 
 `` Take a look at the damn thing! Its arms and legs got torn off. It's basically just scrap metal, now.'' 
 
 `` Now, now, boys. Let me take a look at what's inside first.'' Jen knelt down in front of it and lowered her goggles. She moved her head slowly as she probed the robot's internal structure. The pre-collapse sensor goggles had been a lucky find, and they had led the crew to many more lucky finds. 
 
 `` Guys... You're not going to believe this. It's still alive.'' 
 
 `` Alive?'' 
 
 `` Well, whatever the word is for a robot. It's still thinking. The computer core is still active, it looks like there's a deep-reserve battery that's keeping it alive. The wires running into the head are still intact, so it might even be able to see us.'' 
 
 `` Can we talk to it?'' Mark asked. 
 
 `` If you can get it a power source, I do n't see why not. Just need to convince it that it can come out of sleep mode.'' 
 
 Rob pulled his backpack off his shoulders. `` Well, we've got a big universal pack in my bag. That should be plenty of power, right?'' 
 
 Jen nodded and pulled off the goggles. `` That'll do just fine. Help me get this front panel off, would you? The poor guy's lost his charging outlet, I think we need to wire it up direct.'' 
 
 With a little bit of grunt work, they managed to get the robot plugged into their power pack. Almost immediately, its eyes lit up, and it turned its head to regard them. 
 
 `` Hey, it worked!'' 
 
 `` Robot, can you hear me?'' 
 
 No answer. 
 
 Jen slipped the goggles back on. `` The wires going into the limbs are buzzing. If it still had legs, this thing would be running around screaming, I think.'' 
 
 `` How's the voice box? Can it talk?'' 
 
 `` Yeah, just let me hook it up and...'' 
 
 `` YOU ARE IN A RESTRICTED AREA. LEAVE IMMEDIATELY.'' 
 
 `` Gah! That thing is *loud*.'' 
 
 Jen prodded something in the mass of wires in the robot's head. `` Lem me just lower the gain a little there.'' 
 
 `` You are in a restricted area. Leave immediately.'' 
 
 Mark raised his hands. `` Robot, the facility you are guarding has been decommissioned. Stand down!'' 
 
 `` You are not authorized to give commands. You are in a restricted area. Leave immediately.'' 
 
 `` Everyone in here has been dead for three hundred years! You do n't even have *legs! * What are you trying to do?'' 
 
 `` Error: Query not understood. You are in a restricted area. Leave immediately.'' 
 
 Rob swore and kicked the wall. `` That's it? This is the fabled pre-Collapse AI? A glorified guard dog? No wait, take that back. My guard dog is probably smarter than this.'' 
 
 `` No, no, that ca n't be it. No PC-er in their right minds would put up with something this dumb.'' Mark frowned. `` Let's try another tack.'' 
 
 He turned to the robot again. `` I'm sorry, we're lost. Can you tell us the way out of the restricted areas?'' 
 
 `` Error retrieving facility-wide maps from server. Local cache is corrupt. No answer available.'' 
 
 `` Ah! You see? This thing is such a dummy because it gets its marching orders from a central server. We find that, and we're in business.'' 
 
 Rob shrugged and gathered up his backpack. `` May as well. I do n't see why you're so intent on getting something out of that scrap pile, though.'' 
 
 Jen unplugged the power pack and stood up. `` Oh, come on, boss. You ca n't tell me you are n't a little curious. We might find out something about the Collapse.'' 
 
 `` Yeah, maybe we'll find out they were all driven insane by robots that would n't shut up.'' 
 
 The explorers laughed as they moved further into the ruins.
