[ WP ] After brushing your teeth in the morning you go downstairs to fry an egg , but when you try the frying pan buzzes at you and text appears reading , `` level 18 cooking required to use object '' .

“ Not level 18, my ass! ” Jim scoffed as he tossed the pan aside and grabbed an apple from the counter. Inspecting the skin he reached for his pairing knife to cut the it, and again that inane buzzer shocks his senses, “ level 25 required. ” 
 
 “ Oh this is bullshit. ” Pulling open his cutlery drawer and grabbing a butter knife he cuts a chunk out and eats from the knife. `` Well, at least there's that. `` 
 
 
 “ Miriam, phone tech support. ” 
 
 
 “ Yes sir, dialing, connecting… ” 
 
 
 The speakers in the house ring once and soft hold music quickly replaces it. “ Your call is important to us, please hold. “ 
 
 
 “ Yeah, right. My call is important. I have a restaurant opening tonight and I ca n't cook because your fucking system glitches out. Call is important. ” 
 
 
 “ Jim ” 
 
 
 “ Yes Miriam ” 
 
 
 “ While you are on hold, would you like me to go over your tasks for today? ” 
 
 
 “ No Miriam, later. ” 
 
 
 “ OK, Jim. ” 
 
 
 “ Jim ” 
 
 
 Sigh, “ Yes Miriam ” 
 
 
 “ I hear there is more tension than usual in your voice, have you had your coffee yet? ” 
 
 
 “ No Miriam. I ca n't make coffee either. Miriam, mute voice until further notice. ” 
 
 
 The house speakers chirp in affirmation and Jim is left with what's left of his apple, the Muzak version of some rock song from earlier this century, and overwhelming dread.
