[ WP ] Yesterday we received The message from aliens who learned English by intercepting Xbox transmissions . You have been tasked with providing a response to it .

What the fuck did you just fucking say about Earth, you little bitch? I ’ ll have you know we graduated top of our section in the Interstellar Defense Academy, and we ’ ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the B ’ tvk, and have over 300 confirmed total planetary annihilations. We have trained gorillas in warfare and have the top plasma-drive pilots in the entire Orion arm. You are nothing to us but just another species to exterminate. We will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this galaxy, mark our fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to us over X-Box Live? Think again, fuckers. As we speak we are contacting our secret network of mercenaries across the galaxy and your space-time coordinates are being traced right now so you better prepare for the oncoming storm, faggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You ’ re fucking dead, xXSwaGGy-Quarlax [ FaZe ]. We can be anywhere, anytime, and kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that ’ s just with our genetically enhanced bear hands. Not only are us humans extensively trained in unarmed combat, but we have access to the entire arsenal of the COD Ghost Ops recon squads and we will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of our solar system, you little shits. If only you could have known what dank retribution your little “ clever ” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn ’ t, you didn ’ t, and now you ’ re paying the price, you goddamn idiots. We will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You ’ re fucking dead, noob. 
 
 Memes, xXx_dAnkwEEd420_xXx 
 
 P.S. Nobody likes cool ranch. Nacho cheese is where it ’ s at.
