[ WP ] It 's New Years Eve . Your best friend died in September , you 've been robbed twice , your girl friend is leaving you , you 've just lost your job and the only one left to talk to is a gay burglar you 've got tied up in the kitchen . P.S . Your cat is dead .

`` I do n't understand, really, I do n't.'' he began, waving a blade on one hand and a camera on the other. 
 
 `` I mean, I'd understand the draw of it, the seductive whisper of danger that comes about from doing something bad. I'd understand that you picked the diamonds cause they were shiny and rare, ignoring the fact that it's easier and more productive for you to shave your balls, put the hair in a plastic bag and sell it on e-bay! But really, going back to the conversation, I understand why you did it.'' 
 
 By this point, the man was visibly sweating. A rancid smell came from his pants, which he tactfully ignored, of course. 
 
 `` Maybe I'm cutting you more slack than I should.'' He sighed, slumping onto the chair directly across the other man with a dejected look. `` See...... he died, you know. Everybody knows by now, I'm sure. You know, do n't you?'' 
 
 The burgler did n't respond, his mouth was taped shut, blood flowing from his mouth. Sighing, the pale faced man shoved his hands through his hair. One nod. Then two, then three. 
 
 `` I hunted the little party pooper that did it. Harley was telling me'Please, let it go! You ca n't fight Ra's''' 
 
 He paused. Face, frowning in confusion. `` I was never really sure how you pronounced it actually. First time I heard about the name I thought it sounded something like rage? Then, when I beat down a few of his little henchmen, a rather pathetic bunch I might add, they said it was raas? It was a very confusing time in my life, which I suppose, made you think you could rob me a second time.'' 
 
 The Joker stood up, his face blank, as he ripped the tape off the burgler's face. The screams were rich with pain, his voice distorted by the lack of a tongue, the pain from his missing face forcing him to scream on and on and on. 
 
 `` That was the bat's first gift to me, Mr. Burglar.'' The Joker hissed out. Even now his face was wiped of emotion, like an android or a dead man. `` A batarang, one of his first, still in development, and it was his. First. Gift. To. Me. You could take everything in this entire fucking city, from the Penguin's little band of merry thieves, to the Riddler's list, his very long list, of secrets and it would n't touch even a fifth of the value I place on his gift.'' 
 
 `` Because I did n't know, I did n't.'' The Joker said, the faintest hint of emotion coming from the voice. `` I did n't know then, of how we were meant to be together forever. Of how how he loved me so, and I'd love him. Of how he'd never end our little game, not truly, and how I failed him.'' 
 
 A fist, lightning fast, struck the burglar. The screams only intensified. 
 
 `` I FAILED HIM!'' he screamed, voice filled with rage and despair. The Joker kicked him in the chest, the rickety chair toppling over. He stumbled next to the man and began to kick, frenzied, ragefull things, even as his face was blank and unseeing, as though he were in another place, and another time. 
 
 `` I tried, I really did bats! I dragged your rotten corpse to that ancient piece of shit and asked him, politely because that's how you would do things, if he could use his little green pool. What else would I have done hmm? What else would I have done when he laughed in my face? His death was a certainty, and through all the weeks and months I tortured him, he never told me where the pool was. He never told me off the way to bring you back to me.'' 
 
 `` Then, when I came back, to see that Harley had left? Meaningless, of course. What did she matter when he was gone. She was the the twisted reflection, the harlequin to his robin, so what did it matter when the game was over? But you, dear sir? You taking his first gift from me? That's why we're here today.'' 
 
 He crouched down, staring at those terrified eyes. He'd seen them so many times. So many times. He brought the camera up and took a picture. 
 
 `` I've stopped, you know. Just stopped with the dance, stopped with the game. The rest of the crowd could play with his birds to pass the time, but that's all it would be. Passing the time.'' 
 
 The blade, the batarang, came down, stabbing him in the stomach. Each strike, each stab faster than the last. The Joker opened up the skin, the flesh, and began pulling his intestines out. If one glanced at the man, you would n't be sure he was still alive at this point. 
 
 Not that it mattered, of course. The symbolism was what mattered. 
 
 `` The last time we fought? He denied his love for me. Reasonable, of course, as his family was there, and he did n't want to ruin our fun. Reasonable. Very reasonable. I had made a party for him at his castle, gathered all of his friends and family, his empire for the show. There was a cat there, ours of course, the universe's sign of telling me that it was time to return to him.'' 
 
 The Joker grabbed a small corpse, fragile and vulnerable and very, very dead. Both it's necks were broken, and flies circled it even as the maggots feasted on it's flesh. He 
 
 `` This is why you will die here tonight good sir. Not because you took the diamonds, they were useless. Not because you took his first gift, I would have just killed your boyfriend. But because you killed the cat. Because in your desperate, and stupid, attempts at trying to take my possessions, you killed the one thing that the universe had deigned to give us. It's one proof that the Batman and me were destined to dance over this wonderful city forever.'' 
 
 He stuffed the corpse gently, almost sweetly, inside the burgler's hollowed out stomach. It was adorable really, in a strange sort of way, on how the cub was perched inside. Almost as though it was sleeping. 
 
 The Joker stared at the scene, passionless, dull and empty. His eyes unfocused, his face slipping and his hands soaked in blood. It did not take long for the sirens to arrive after that.
