[ WP ] Whenever you are having fun , time passes by quickly , and when you 're bored , time seams to pass by slowly , almost not at all . But in reality , that is exactly whats happening .

There was an intruder aboard the ship. This was not exciting news. 
 
 In fact it was mindlessly tedious news. This was fortunate, because if it *were* exciting news then there'd be a very real risk of the warp drive failing and the entire crew getting stranded in deep space, which would be *extremely* boring. The warp drive depends on the collective humdrum of the onboard activities to distort spacetime, and the crew were fully briefed into the specifics of how it operates so that there is an absolute minimum sense of wonder when soaring through space. 
 
 First Officer Tennant selected a weapon from the rack, then chose which spacesuit to wear. The weapon was a remarkable piece of equipment, unlike any other conceived of in science fiction. The suit was a bright shade of yellow, it had a narrow black zip and extra padding round the collar. Its material rustled when moved, and was packed in a double layer with a mesh underweave and an airtight kevlar-like material on the outside. The weapon does need to be described. 
 
 Officer Tennant led her squad through the white corridors. The engineering department considered painting them gray at one point, but ultimately decided to paint them white. There was blood on the walls, but they were coated in a cleanable gloss manufactured from a complex polymer. It was quite expensive to produce, but clearly worth the price given the current stains. The lights flickered on-and-off and snarling echoed from the chambers at the opposite ends of the hall. The lights will probably need to be replaced, so Officer Tennant made a mental note to bring this to the crew's attention in the next daily report. 
 
 The corridor ended in the medical facility, which is actually a misnomer because a medical facility by definition needs to contain equipment necessary for surgical procedures. This was in fact a first-aid facility and there was an alien in it. The crew killed the alien with blank expressions, it was extremely annoying because one of them was killed by a spray of acidic stomach bile. They would have to provision his work across the remaining crewmembers and this will be the central issue in next months scheduling meeting. 
 

