[ WP ] A loved and respected hero discovers something that leads him to become a morally questionable antihero .

“ Step away from her, Dr. Wasteland! ” 
 
 “ Never! Earth will be brought to its knees! ” 
 
 Super Earth rose two feet from the ground, his cape heroically flapping behind him as he spoke. “ Earth is round, Wasteland. It has no knees. ” 
 
 The people in the convenience store clapped and cheered. Earth was saving the day again! 
 
 “ Nevertheless ”, cried Wasteland, tightening the grasp on the old lady's neck. “ I shall crush it and see it fall! ” 
 
 “ Earth can not fall, Wasteland!'' Super Earth's voice echoed again. “ For there is no gravity to pull it nor a place for which it 
 could fall into. ” 
 
 “ Oh, go fuck yourself, Earth; my point is, I'm destroying the planet! ” 
 
 With these words, Dr. Wasteland pushed the old lady aside and pulled his laser gun, firing mercilessly against the hero and the desperate bystanders. 
 
 “ You will be brought to justice! ” Cried the Super Earth, arms stretched parallel to each other as he cruised the convenience store, 
 flying straight into the villain's... 
 
 Earth stopped in midair. 
 
 “ What the fuck is this? ” asked the caped hero, his body floating horizontal in front of a shelf. 
 
 “ Wh-what? ” the cashier mumbled from behind the counter. 
 
 “ This fucking shit here. ” Earth picked up a green and yellow can, showing it around. “ WHAT IS THIS? ” 
 
 “ That's -- That's Mountain Dew, sir. ” 
 
 “ I know that'', Earth cried, rolling his eyes. “ I've been defending Earth on intergalactic trials and battles for ages, and 
 Mountain Dew has always been the hardest thing to counter argument, whenever folks talk about destroying mankind. What I 
 mean is ”, Earth returned to vertical position, landing his feet on the ground. “ What the fuck is this flavor? ” 
 
 People slowly started rising from behind the shelves and refrigerators, and even Wasteland lowered his gun. 
 
 “ That's Dorito Flavored Mountain Dew, Earth. ” Said the cashier, in a low voice. 
 
 “ Are you... ” Super Earth sighed, closing his eyes and trying to remain calm. “... out of.... ” He took another breath; opened his eyes again: there was nothing but rage in them. “... your FUCKING MIND? ” 
 
 “ Sir, no, I – AAAAAAAAAAH ”. 
 
 From Earth's wrists, laser beams flew straight into the counter, blowing up Tridents, cigarette packs and Lotto Tickets all 
 over the store. 
 
 “ DORITO FLAVORED MOUNTAIN DEW? THIS IS THE SHIT YOU COME UP WITH, WHEN I'M OUT THERE TRYING TO DEFEND 
 YOU? ” 
 
 “ Sir, it's just a special edition, we -- ” 
 
 “ FUCK YOU, FATBOY ”, cried Super Earth, striking a fat kid's face so hard his lower jaw went flying across the store. 
 
 `` That's not even the boy who talked back to you!'' Cried a voice from behind the ATM. 
 
 `` I DO N'T GIVE A SHIT!'' Screamed back Earth, pushing aside the blood soaked, crying, jawless fat kid. `` Come on, Wasteland, let's mess this place up.'' 
 
 And so it was that Super Earth teamed up with Wasteland, initially to fuck up a Seven Eleven, but, soon enough, expanding the job to the rest of the planet. 
 
 With one last glimpse over the shattered, post-apocalyptic New York scenery beneath him, Super Earth drank the last of the 
 Mountain Dew, let out a big burp and sighed: 
 
 “ Disgusting. Fucking Earthlings. ” 
 
 And flew away to better, Dorito-Flavored-Mountain-Dew-less lands. 

