The Devil tempts you with a promise to fulfill your greatest desires . He then gets depressed and mopey when you turn him down . [ wp ]

`` You... but...'' 
 
 I did n't really pay attention to whatever stuttering the freak was doing in the corner. Some ass-hat was running around with a grenade launcher and a jet pack, and there was no *way* I was going to lose my K-D to those shenanigans. I did n't need these interruptions. 
 
 A red, clawed hand waived in front of the screen. I scowled. 
 
 `` Listen, dude. Are you deaf?'' I barked. The owner of the hand seemed to freeze in total and complete shock. It was like no one had ever told him to scram before. 
 
 `` Now-'' I could see him puffing out his chest as he pointed a talon accusingly at me. `` Now see here! I do n't think you quite understand the magnitude of what I offer you mortal --'' 
 
 I cursed darkly under my breath as I was gunned down coming through an alleyway. Good kill, I should have been more careful. Lazily, I waive my hand as I repeatedly press the re-spawn button. 
 
 `` Yeah, Yeah. Eternal power, glory, immortality.'' I gave a small laugh as my character popped back to life. 
 
 `` Real B-list horror shit, dude. 
 
 He stared at me like *I* was the horned hell spawn holding a human skull and wearing nothing but a loincloth in my den. 
 
 `` What?'' he stuttered slowly, coming next to the sofa confused. `` What do you mean'B-list horror shit'? I'm offering you godhood!'' 
 
 Jesus. This guy was thick. I rolled my eyes as he attempted to chew me out. 
 
 `` You're the devil, right?'' I interrupted. The demon blinked, but nodded. 
 
 `` Yes. I am Satan! Father of Lies and the Most Evil-'' 
 
 `` Yeah.'' I cut him off suddenly, grinning as my knife plowed through an unsuspecting camper. 
 
 `` I know who you are. You just roll up, offer me unimaginable riches and yadda yadda... Then you steal my immortal soul.'' 
 
 The Devil recoiled as if he had been slapped. 
 
 `` I-what? Steal? Me? Why, I would never-'' 
 
 With a loud sigh, I begrudgingly pause my match and level a glare at the stuttering idiot. 
 
 `` Save the shit, please. We both know that's what you do. I'm not interested, I just want to play my game. Can you *please* just leave me alone?'' 
 
 I held the glare for a second after I had finished speaking, just to drive the point home, before turning back to my game. He did n't say anything for quite some time, seeming to sit lost in thought as he watched me play. It was weird, really, but I could have sworn I saw his massive, jagged fangs retract in his mouth as he let out a long, depressed sigh. 
 
 `` And you...'' he began slowly, voice devoid of the enthusiasm he had displayed in his original selling. `` You're absolutely sure you're not interested?'' 
 
 `` Not in the least.'' 
 
 He seemed to ponder my reply for a moment before sighing and letting his wry smile finally deflate into a full on frown. 
 
 `` Would any of your compatriots be interested?'' he asked desperately, pointing a red hand at the television. I snorted as a laugh while shaking my head. 
 
 `` Doubt it.'' 
 
 Silence. 
 
... 
 
 `` Can I play next?''
