[ WP ] A sociopath who desperately wants to feel love

I think about it every single day. This wonderful thing people I know talk about. This feeling of love. I will never understand it. But I wish I could. 
 
 I've spent many years locked up inside my own emotional cage. I ca n't ever understand or feel the same things people around me do. I do n't know what emotional pain is, I do n't know what heartbreak is, I do n't know what sadness is. I can tell you what people tell me they are. I can tell you what every therapist I ever had told me about those feelings. But I do n't get them. 
 
 Is it like pain? Do I feel something on my body? I would n't know. But love, love intrigues me. I've seen my own brother with his girlfriend. He smiles so brightly, so deeply. His smile rooted deep into his jaw and clogging every pore with happiness. His girlfriend looks at him with longing, like she's never seen something so beautiful in her life before he came along. 
 
 I want that. I want something that can bring that to my life. I have n't smiled in years. I've not laughed in years. I've never wanted anything until now. It's all I can think about. 
 
 Can the touch of a woman bring joy to my life? Can her breath on my neck send shivers down my spine? Can her holding my hand bring a warm comfort to my heart? Can her body at night keep me warm on a cold winter night? Can her smile light up my world and can her kiss make everything better? 
 
 I'll never know. But I'll always wonder. I'll always yearn for what I can not feel.
