[ WP ] When everyone turns 18 , they receive a pet which is figurative of their personality . You 're the first person to receive a dragon ...

Davy Blahbla was about to turn 18. He'd quite forgotten as he'd been shooting heroin for a couple of years now and had lost track of time. 
 
 He was living on friends couches and the streets, had n't attended school for over a year and was shooting junk everyday. 
 
 Despite his life being a complete fucking shambles, he was actually in possession of an iPhone 6, which he had legitimately purchased and had even spent a few days lining up for. He was after all homeless and found the Apple fanboys particularly charitable. 
 
 On the eve of his 18th birthday ( which he was still unaware of ), he found a bar that he was n't barred from, that had a phone charging station and a suitable bathroom for him to shoot up in. 
 
 It was close to midnight by this stage and when Davy got back from the bathroom, he found that his phone had several notifications from Facebook. 
 
 A few junky friends had posted junky birthday wishes. Basically just'Hbd'. It was the most they could muster. Anyway, three or more notifications down, Davy sees that he has a friend request. 
 
 Davy did n't get many friend requests, and now that it was ( slowly ) dawning on him that it was his birthday, he felt especially elated. 
 
 The friend request was from the State government. Attached to the request was a message: 
 
 Dear Mr Blahbla, 
 
 It has come to our attention that you have turned 18 and must now be assigned your pet that matches your personality. Based on your FB profile ( as well as other social media you participate in ) we have concluded that you shall be given a dragon. 
 
 This is the first time someone has been assigned a dragon, so congratulations. 
 
 Please find attached the directions for retrieving and training your dragon. 
 
 Sincerely, 
 
 Odessa Bilderberg, 
 
 General Manager, 
 
 Animal Assignment. 
 
 
 Davy was over the flipping moon. It could have been the heroin, but who knows. He left the bar and crashed in a dumpster in the rear alley. 
 
 As his actual birthday day began, the bar was opening up for the breakfast crowd. The bar's manager found Davy in the dumpster and not being able to wake him, called the police. 
 
 The police arrived promptly and proceeded to arrest Davy. 
 
 Look, long story short, the police end up taking Davy to get his dragon, but it ends up escaping and Davy spends the rest of his life chasing the dragon. 
 
 
 
 Was it worth it? Let me work it. Put my thang down flip it and reverse it.
