[ WP ] An alien race far more powerful than humans has to come to destroy Earth , but are scared off after a few incredibly lucky encounters with humans .

It was only 65 million years ago that The Aliens had destroyed what could very well have been their greatest business venture. Izzat shuddered at the memory of roads not taken. Make sure to readjust to default settings, they ’ d said. Reset the planet to baseline conditions, that was the job. He had done as he was ordered - the surface was cooled according to protocol. The rock was perfect. He ’ d done nothing wrong. 
 Wasn ’ t anyones fault really, they couldn ’ t have known. Suddenly everyone wants ‘ em, the funny looking things. The few samples they brought back didn ’ t last for long, they had unexpected nutritional requirements and by the time they realized the earning potential it was too late. They wouldn ’ t make the same mistake twice. He shuddered. 
 
 Izzat and the small group surrounding him had been tasked with assessing the race. From what they ’ d seen so far it wouldn ’ t be too difficult. They had cautiously studied humans and their ways. Meticulously designed their appearance, perfected language. Read a thousand books, reflected upon their hopes and dreams, watched the shows, sung their songs. 
 
 Izzat was first. He ’ d chosen the city of New York, this is where they lost trace of the last specimen. He attempted to casually stroll, but for some reason he seemed to attract more attention that he anticipated. He scanned the crowd, then lifted his hand up in front of his face, staring at his palm intently. He attempted to both walk and look at his hand simultaneously. Izzat was uncertain what purpose this act served, but surely the humans seemed very skilled at it. His communications device made a buzzing sound: “ Izzat, It ’ s Nija. ” His ship bound intelligence anticipated his response. “ They coordinate their limbs in an interesting manner ”. he replied. “ I read you, my intel tells me this is very likely the ancient art of palm reading. Perhaps approach one “ She suggested. 
 He went over to a female who seemed skilled at the art. Her gaze was fixed on her right palm, her right arm was hanging lazily by her side. What a perfect opportunity, he thought. According to their sources one must always squeeze and jerk the hand much harder than the opponent. Izzat went up behind the female and grabbed her hand with what he considered to be a “ firm ” grip and shook it fiercely. “ VERY GOOD, IZZAT. Humans find that this spawns friendship it says here. Big smile too, Izzat ” Izzat firmed his grip and grinned as widely as he could. The human seemed to take on a different form, instead of the transfixed stare and limp appearance it was now very much energetic, making loud, and rather unpleasant noises. Izzat decided he didn ’ t find this friendship thing very endearing. 
 
 “ PEOPLE Magazine ” the fleet Commander snorted. “ Could they make the threat any more obvious? ” He made what was supposed to be a meaningful gesture towards the rest of the room. It was what we in human terms would refer to as “ spazzed out ”. The group took a chance and nodded in approval. The commander seemed satisfied with the response. “ Read it, Nija. Out loud. ” Nija cleared her throat and begun “ Celebrity Robert Pattinson assaulted teen inside the American Museum of Natural History. ” There was a collective gasp from the crowd. A dozen aliens widened their eyes in order to communicate how shocking they found this turn of events. “ At least he was clever with the name, that Izzat ”. One suggested helpfully. 
 Nija continued; “... Robert Pattinson was seen inside the exhibition inside the American Museum of Natural History. After what bystanders refer to as, indecent conduct ” with some of the newly reconstructed specimens he went on to assault Melinda ( 18 ). According to Melinda Mr.Pattinson came up from behind her whilst she was taking a photo of herself ( selfie ) with a Triceratops Horridus. Mr. Pattinson was overmanned by several Officers of the Law. He is currently residing in a psychiatric facility awaiting assessment. ” 
 The room fell silent. All eyes were on the projected news article. Image upon image of their fellow comrade in between words like “ outrageous ” and “ knew all along that this would happen ”. 
 “ Uhm, Sir... “ Nija tried. “ There is more… And I ’ m afraid it ’ s worse that we dared think. ” 
 “ It turns out... the word “ celebrity ” refers to “ One who is widely known and of great popular interest. ” Silence ensued as the severity of her words hit them. At the very middle of the screen was the photo accompanying the threatening letter. At the very edge of the frame you could see Izzat reaching towards the human female. The golden haired Melinda stood next to what they wanted more than anything. She pouted her lips in a provocative manner, mockingly showing them what they could not have. Clearly they were not ready for this fight. 

