[ WP ] Write the most elaborate , over-dramatic , and exciting story you can think of that all just turns out to be a set-up for a pun so horrible I 'll want to punch you

It was Tuesday morning. God I hate Tuesdays. 
 
 You see, when you work in the sawmill of a small town, logs shipment usually comes in on Wednesdays. That keeps us busy for three days, sometime four, but Tuesdays are always dead. 
 
 This means that on Tuesdays, I have to listen to Tom, Jim and Preston talk about their meaningless fantasy football league ALL day. However, this particular Tuesday was going to be even worst. 
 
 You see, when you work in the sawmill of a small town, security measures are n't always'by the book'. This means that accidents happen occasionally, sometime frequently, and Monday's accident was a pretty nasty one. 
 
 Grabbing a coffee in the office's kitchen should be a pretty simple task, except when Tom, Jim and Preston are there. And since it was Tuesday morning, they we're obviously there, ready to chat. 
 
''Did you hear about Gerry?! His arm got stuck in the big WM yesterday, his whole left arm was chopped by the saw!'' 
 
''Yes Tom, I was there.'' 
 
''It was n't just his arm, they say his leg got caught up as well!'' 
 
''Yes Jim, I was there.'' 
 
''He should of just stopped moving, I heard part of his face was ripped when he tried to pull himself out!'' 
 
''Yes Preston, I was there.'' 
 
 As if my favorite trio was n't enough, this dude from accounting felt the need to visit our shop this morning to discuss the accident. 
 
''Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off yesterday?!'' 
 
''Yes, he's all right now.'' 

