[ WP ] Aliens have arrived , and ask for a single human to plead humanity 's case and save them from extinction . The human is selected through a lottery of the entire human race , and on the day of the drawing , your name is picked .

A faint thump in the background wakes me up early on Saturday morning. I feel like I should get out of bed but I have only been asleep for a couple of hours. The thumping starts again, louder but still muffled and distant. I can hardly recall what happened before I got to this point. The last thing I remember is meeting up with my buddies Mason and Nick to go drinking or blazing or something. We always do irresponsible things on the weekends. After continued thumping coming from the next room, I come to, and I figure that we must have done a little of everything because I feel heavy and dazed and I can barely process a complete thought without switching to another one. 
 
 I finally pull out of my drowsy daze when a huge crash comes from the front door and I hear someone storming toward my room. I do my best to roll out of bed and stand up and prepare to protect myself before whoever it is comes and tries to kill me. Some big, burly guy wearing a tuxedo and glasses like someone straight out of *Men in Black* bounds into my room and firmly asserts, `` I'm an agent with the Secret Service. You need to come with me.'' 
 
 This weirdo and I must have held each other's gaze for a long time before I exploded with laughter. I could not even stand up since I was laughing so hard. *Who was this jackass? * I thought. The guys and I must have tried some other drugs or got some bad weed or something because this was over the top. 
 
 The big, burly jackass grabs me by the arm and hoists me up to my feet and starts pulling on me. The laughter stops and my hysterics quickly turn into panic. Either I was having a *really* bad trip or I did something *really* bad the night before. Agent jackass begins to explain to me that something has come from another planet or something like that and I have to explain why humanity should n't be erased. 
 
 Then Agent jackass breaks down crying. 
 
 `` Why are you crying, jackass?'' I ask. 
 
 `` Because you're hopeless and you're going to have us all killed.''
