[ WP ] A freak explosion occurs at a bio-medical research laboratory while scientists are celebrating a recent breakthrough over some beers . The explosion creates an airborne virus that causes inebriation . A pandemic of drunks ensues .

`` No,'' he said. `` *I'm* drunk.'' 
 
 I grabbed my head and tried to steady myself. `` That'sh -'' I rubbed my cheeks aggressively. `` That's what *I* said.'' 
 
 He got hold of my lapels. `` No, bitch. That's what *I* said.'' 
 
 A moment passed between us. Through the fog of alcohol and blurring vision, a moment of clear understanding got through. `` Wait,'' I said. `` Who are you?'' 
 
 `` Tony,'' he said. `` Tony. That's me.'' 
 
 I smiled. `` Dave,'' I told him. `` Wait, no. That's not right. I do n't even know anyone called Dave. I'm Jake.'' 
 
 He put his arm around my shoulders. `` Pleased to meet you, Dave. You're a good guy, you know that? I've always liked you.'' 
 
 `` I've always liked you, too,'' I said. `` Got ta love that Dave.'' 
 
 `` Tony,'' he corrected, gently. 
 
 I smiled. `` That's what I told him. So what are we doing?'' 
 
 We looked around. The department store was on fire. 
 
 `` I think...'' he belched. `` I think we're looting.'' 
 
 `` Are we?'' I asked. `` That does n't sound like me. I'm not really a'looter' type, you know? Dontgetmewrong, I'm all about the taking stuff if I think I can get away with it - and I've got no problem with the [ hic ]'heightened circumstances' proving... *providing*... a critical perspective in the understanding that social...'' 
 
 Tony gestured encouragingly towards me. 
 
 `` What was I saying?'' 
 
 He beamed. `` Looting,'' he said. 
 
 `` Fuck yeah,'' I told him. `` Let's take this shit, Dave!''
