[ WP ] Turn a well known songs lyrics into a short story


 This is the story of a young couple in Portland, Maine 
 
 While waiting for her husband Don 
 To return home from work, she reaches for a can of anchovies 
 As she spreads the tiny fish across a piece of lettuce 
 She notices a small note at the bottom of the can 
 Written on it is a telephone number 
 
 Curious, she dials, and is told, `` Do n't move, lady, we'll be right over'' 
 Placing the phone back on the hook, she turns 
 To see three smartly dressed men standing in her kitchen doorway 
 Before she realizes what is happening to her 
 She is rolled tightly in long sheets of cellophane 
 Transported to an international airport and placed on a waiting jet-liner 
 All this being too much for her to comprehend, she passes out 
 
 Upon awakening, she finds herself in a strange, foreign speaking nation 
'Dalas nekcihc dna tihs nekcihc neewteb 
 Ecnereffid eht wonk ot suineg a ekat t'nseod ti' 
 Alone, fearing her escape impossible 
 She seeks comfort in the arms of a confidential agent 
 
 With the trace of her kiss still warm upon his lips 
 He betrays her to the hands of three scientists 
 Who are engaged in diabolical, avant-garde experiments previously 
 Performed only on insects and other small, meaningless creatures 
 Using her as their subject, they are delighted with the results 
 For the first time, a human being is transformed into a, shh, top secret 
 
 Meanwhile, back in Portland, Maine 
 
 Her husband Don, now chain-smoking 40 packs of cigarettes a day 
 Sits at a local bar and has a few beers with the regulars 
 Bored, everyone's attention turns to the television set 
 That just hangs from the wall, welcome to bowling for dollars 
 
 Suddenly, crazy Al says 
 `` S-say, Don, there sure is something familiar about that bowling ball'' 
 To which the terrified Don replies 
 `` Oh my God! That bowling ball, it's my wife!'' 
 
 And the lesson we learn from this story is 
 Next time you place your order, do n't forget to say, `` No anchovies please'' 
 
 No Anchovies Please - J. Geils Band 
 I'm sorry it just fits the prompt perfectly 

