[ WP ] For decades you have worked and fought for various Evil Villains/Geniuses and the occasional Hero , and surprisingly survived till retirement . Now in your twilight years , you open a school to educate and train future minions/sidekicks on how to NOT die .

You know what's crazy? 
 
 There's always people who'll go for villains and heroes. Like, they want to help'em out and stuff. Ca n't say I'm much different, but I went in without much knowledge of what I could expect. 
 
 Name's Peter, and I've been in this damn business for forty goddamn years. I've worked for a wide variety of villains. Dr Braino, The Exploding Ass Man, King Queen, Golden Boy, Holmsian, the lot. I've worked for heroes and villains alike. 
 
 Now, I was in the business for a long time, and every day of my life I was scared for my goddamn life. I did n't have any of the knowledge I have today, and I had to learn everything first hand. It's a dangerous world you're about to dive into, and you're not going to get any training better than what you'll get here. 
 
 Here, at Minion and Sidekick Academy, you are going to be learning the ins and outs of the supporter role. You will be taught how to fire a wide variety of exotic firearms, how to fake an identity, and all that stuff. But here's the first and most important lesson you're going to learn: 
 
 It is, quite simply, Know When To Run. Those four words have ensured a long, fruitful life. When you see the mob bashing down the front gate with their torches and pitchforks, when you see a chainsaw coming down from the ceiling, when you see your boss being lowered into a tank full of acid and he's forgotten his little knife- that's when you run. 
 
 Now, apart from that, have a great time here in Minion/Sidekick Academy. Thanks.
