[ WP ] : Children are named by the traits they are fated to have - Brave , Serene , Deeply Caring , Unmoved - and of course your lovely daughter , Bites People .

As our daughter came home from school with yet another note, my wife Suffers Patiently looked across the table at me with her practiced derision. `` Why the fuck did you name her that?'' 
 
 `` You do n't know me,'' I said. `` I do what I want.'' 
 
 But it was a lie. We were all prisoners of the legacies our parents left for us, born in the fires of their own bitterness at the harm of their parents' disdain. So it was for my father, Passive Aggressive Fuck, his father, Screw Ya Over, and his father, Life's Little Disappointment. Could I, Average Sitcom Dad, do any worse? 
 
 No. 
 
 No I could not. 
 
 `` How's Nobody Cares?'' I asked, inquiring about our son. 
 
 Suffers Patiently shrugged and went back to her tea.
