[ TT ] You have a gift for talking to inanimate objects . Alongside many perks , it makes you an excellent thief ... but you only steal things that want to be stolen .

`` Oh *come on, * the old bat wo n't even notice!'' 
 
 The teapot swivels its spout again in what you assume must be a pleading gesture. You shake your head. 
 
 `` She's eighty and you were the last gift her daughter ever gave her. I'm not taking you.'' 
 
 It shuffles its little ceramic base poutingly. 
 
 `` She can barely even see to dust me anymore! And just last year her doctor told her to give up the tea completely because it interacts with her blood pressure drugs. So I'm sitting here useless! At least if you take and fence me, I might wind up sold to a tea drinker, or a collector who gives a damn.'' 
 
 The cane-handled umbrella in the rusty bucket by the door stomps disapprovingly. 
 
 `` Watch your language sir! I'll not have you speak this way in The Lady's home!'' 
 
 He sounds amusingly posh -- -if he were human, he'd have a monocle, you decide. The Teapot wags his handle at the Umbrella with an arrogant gesture. 
 
 `` Boil me, you mildewy -- -'' 
 
 *'' ENOUGH. `` * 
 
 Both objects rattle to attention. In the cupboard, a small saucer whines and snuggles closer to her mother. 
 
 `` Look, you're a great teapot I'm sure. Charming personality, you boil easily every time, yadda, yadda, yadda. But you're also the last good memory this old woman has left. I'm not bringing you with me. Her will says after she's gone her things are up for an estate sale. I'll come back for you then. But not until then, okay?'' 
 
 His little glazed lid clinks up and down in a discontent agreement. 
 
 `` Fine. Take someone else. See if I care!'' 
 
 You pat his little rounded back. 
 
 `` Spout up. She's frail so I might see you again sooner rather than later.'' 
 
 You wander over to the cupboard -- -a few of those china patterns look to be rare ones; you have it on good authority that the big shiny platter now turning his painted surface back and forth in the light, was discontinued in the forties and is now highly sought-after. He could fetch you a decent sum at auction. 
 
 But only if he feels like coming with you...
