[ WP ] Every sentient species in the universe receives a Jesus figure from God . It turns out humanity was the only species to torture and crucify him . You 're an ambassador priest informing the Inter-Galactic Holy Church what your species did .

`` So, why did you kill your Messiah?'' 
 `` It's complicated, but I think it was basically because we did n't believe him.'' 
 `` But he verified his words with miracles, right? So, what was the problem?'' 
 `` Well maybe it was political. Those in power did n't want to lose power.'' 
 `` So you did believe him.'' 
 `` Well no, we did n't, but I guess we also wanted to make certain.'' 
 `` Make certain he was?'' 
 `` Make certain he was n't.'' 
 `` Oh my, this is not going to be an easy filing. Could you give me an overview of His - somewhat shortened - life? I'm sure I will need it if I'm to understand why you... Killed him.'' 
 `` An overview? Certainly. Your- well, our Messiah had a miraculous birth in the city of Bethlehem, and was raised in the city of Nazareth, in an outlying region of the Roman empire called Judea. He was 30 years old when he started his ministry - the peak physical age for a human. He went into the desert for forty days, and, after returning to society, began performing miracles. I do n't think I've mentioned that the people of Judea had a shared religion. When Jesus returned, he not only performed the impossible by healing the sick and casting out demons, but also claimed the impossible, calling himself the Son of God, and saying that he and the Father were one.'' 
 `` But it's the truth, we are all children of God: sons, daughters, and spawn.'' 
 `` The Jews took it somewhat differently. They thought he was claiming to be God, which they consider heresy. In fact the first time he brought it up, in his hometown of Nazareth, the people there got so mad they tried to throw him off a cliff.'' 
 `` But angels caught him, right? Or was this when he died?'' 
 `` No angels, but he did n't die either.'' 
 `` So what did he do?'' 
 `` He left, and started gathering disciples.'' 
 `` But wait, you mean you tried to kill him twice?'' 
 `` Yes, well, not twice.'' 
 `` How many times?'' 
 ``... more than twice.'' 
 `` Good heavens!'' 
 `` Maybe four times, mostly because we did n't like what he had to say.'' 
 `` Mostly?'' 
 `` Mostly.'' 
 `` But you tried three more times after this one?'' 
 `` Two more.'' 
 `` You skipped one?'' 
 `` It did n't seem important.'' 
 `` It's pretty important to me!'' 
 `` He was only an infant back then!'' 
 `` YOU TRIED TO MURDER THE BABY MESSIAH?'' 
 `` Yes! Yes, we did! And we're very very sorry. Thank God he was in Egypt when the order came.'' 
 `` What order?'' 
 `` The, ah, order to kill ever Jewish child under the age of three.'' 
 `` YOU TRI-... - you killed all the babies in Judea just because you thought one of them might maybe be the Messiah?'' 
 `` Yes, that was why. That time.'' 
 `` Oh good Lord.''
