[ WP ] Sell Reddit to America in a thirty second Super Bowl commercial .

SCENE OPENS TO A LARGE FANCY OAK DOOR, WITH AN OLD MAID NEXT TO SAID DOOR. `` Mr. Stuffy will see you now.'' The maid says, opening door as camera goes in. ROOM IS FILLED WITH THINGS. CATS, DOGS, GODZILLA, AUNT NANCY, ANYTHING. JUST GO INTO EVERYONES GARAGE AND PILE EVERY THING INTO THIS ROOM. MAN IN A TUX WELCOMES THE CAMERA AS IF IT IS A PERSON. `` Why hello there, come in.'' PUTS MARIO BELT HE WAS EXAMINING TO THE SIDE. `` I'm a collector of things, and I'd heard you want things too. See I have big things'' PULLS A GIANT SPACE SHIP WITH BALLS ON IT. `` to little tiny things.'' STANDS UP WHILE TAKING OFF COAT, REVEALING REDDIT ALIEN. `` See you too can have all these things. All you have to do is go on reddit dot Com.'' GENTLY PETS A STUFFED SHARK WITH A BOW THAT'S BLUSHING.'' So come on in, and spread the gold!'' SMILES SHOWING A GOLD PLATE ON HIS TOUNGE. END SCENE.
