[ WP ] Everyone is assigned a mystical bladed weapon at birth by the gods . You where given a Gillette fusion razor .

I've always felt like that last kid picked on the team. When I was born, my parents had the weapon's picture taken and they caught the doctor in the act of finding my weapon. They were supposed to wait until he was ready to actually present it but something went wrong with the timer, that does n't matter though, the real portion that brings a tear drop to everyone's eye is that the doctor was out of weapons, so he handed me a Gillette fusion razor. He did a little lying and a little magical tinkering to make it never wear out but that did n't change what the blade did to my future. It set me up for a lifetime of being a barber for the balding. 
 
 Twenty years I'd been doing this- spraying shaving cream on someone's head, doing ten quick long strokes and collecting a few dollars from them. There was no doubt I was the fastest shaver in the world but that made sense, I'd been doing it since i was three. My father handed over the razor much sooner than he'd given my brother his mystical dagger of bloodletting or my sister her serrated brass knuckles of protection. His gift made me the most respected barber in the world, now I had the king come to me for a shave. 
 
 That was when everything changed, the king, stroking his beard and laughing at one of my classic barbershop jokes, threw his head back, digging the Gillette fusion razor into his scalp- he was dead in an instant. That was the problem with a never dulling razor, they kept their shine until the very last chance. 
 
 As the king's blood poured out on his shop's floor, his blade started to glow. It flew about in the air, growing in size as a small monster came out the tri-blade razor. `` Hank... you've finally released me, what may I assist you with?'' The genie like individual asked. 
 
 `` A new bladed weapon. I'm sick of being asked if I prefer it shaved or bushy.'' 
 
 `` Your wish can be granted, but there is much more in store for you and that razor in the coming days.'' 
 
 Just as the genie floated back into the razor, a shaking took beneath the barbershop. The king drew his sword but he was too late; the bearded monsters only wanted me.
