[ WP ] Jack is an apocalypse architect . He travels the galaxy to barren planets , pre-intelligent life , and makes subtle changes to ensure that when life evolves , the planet 's inhabitants ultimately meet an apocalyptic end .

Here's one of my earlier works. Asteroid impact. I think they're fun, but these days they're considered the Michael Bay of apocalypses. All you have to do is move a good-sized rock into position and watch the fireworks. But I like them, no matter what the critics say. People should appreciate the simple pleasures. 
 
 Here's a more complicated project: Nuclear warfare. First, you've got to put enough uranium on the planet's surface in easily mineable veins. I usually hire a geology expert to make sure it looks natural. Once a species discovers it, they can usually work out the nuclear physics on their own. They'll get an atomic bomb in a century, maybe less if there's a war on. 
 
 The real trouble is getting them to use it. It's really easy for a cold war to develop where everyone threatens to use the bomb and nobody actually does. Boring! Sure, you could beam down and break the stalemate yourself, but that's breaking the fourth wall. Unprofessional as hell. 
 
 So you have to set up something in advance. I like wars over resources; you'd be amazed how hard they fight for high-energy petrochemicals. But you can also just raise the oxygen content a little bit - the bomb will literally light the atmosphere on fire. Pretty cool, huh? 
 
 But like the asteroids, nukes are getting passé. And I do n't have the budget to do a stellar collision or a supernova like the big-name studios are doing. So my latest entry is going to be a bit more avant-garde: Time. 
 
 Think about it. All you have to do is put life near a main-sequence star and wait. Eventually it moves into the red giant phase, and the planet gets consumed by fire and reduced to a lump of molten iron. Looks beautiful, and all you have to do is make sure they do n't leave the solar system. That's dead easy compared to arranging global nuclear war. They practically do the work for you! I mean, what species in their right minds would launch themselves into the void of space with no end goal in mind just to spite destiny for a few more years? 
 
 Oh, do n't you bring up the generation ships again. Jeez, I produced *one* flop, I let one measly civilization put together an Orion drive, and nobody ever lets me forget it!
