[ WP ] As a joke , you showed the aliens the `` best invention '' , called `` sliced bread '' . Except that they 're actually really amazed by it .

We had finally been allowed visitation to Space Center Eros. Humans were the latest species to advance to the Plasma Age of civilization, soaring the starry skies after great advancements made to space technology in what they called the `` late twenty-first century.'' 
 
 Excruciatingly slow developers, or so they say, us humans took over two hundred thousand years to traverse outside the realms of our solar system. The `` plenipotentiaries'', or whatever that means, of the Exos Council of Universal Affairs deemed us safe to enter the space center after the `` necessary decontamination.'' 
 
 I know what you're thinking - queue the weird probes. Not quite, but you know that feeling when you have a sore in your mouth and you ca n't stop tounging it? Imagine having that all the time. They called it an `` air regulator chip'' and I tried not to ask too many questions. Once we were issued `` standard linguistic ear chips'' and the higher ups had convened extensively I guess the time had come to go on board and discuss Earth's role in the future of the universe. 
 
 Allen Good - that's me - mechanic on the ESS Enterprise, cared nothing for such politics. As a top spacial nuclear engineer recovering from a cataclysmically nasty divorce, I guess I was either bold enough or spurned by the world enough to embark on a tour without a definite return date. While the Caliph met with the other world leaders the crew was permitted to tour the space center with an assigned guide. I figured, why the hell not? It was an opportunity to sever the monotony that had infiltrated every aspect of the recent three month journey. 
 
 Aliens of every species hustled and bustled around the place. Since sterilization took so long our first stop after administration was the cafeteria. Inexplicable masses of food in one line, air tanks and metal in another - overwhelming would be an understatement. Bodies like larva, tentacles, giant eyes - why could n't they all look like the oddly hot chick from Avatar? Jesus, there goes one of those prawn things from District 9. 
 
 ``... led to the invention of the air regulator chip in eon 5.67, which is what is allowing everyone eat now instead of being encumbered by gas tanks and headgear.'' Said the guide, a stout, buggish creature with black shiny eyes and a bronze exoskeleton. 
 
 We sat down to eat. The bug looked at me and said, `` You are an engineer yes? Please tell me about human inventions. What do you think is the best?'' 
 
 As I pulled out my peanut butter and jelly sandwich I almost had a chuckle fit. Did aliens understand humor? Was this really the time and place? What harm could it even do if they did or did not? 
 
 `` This, sliced bread.'' 
 
 `` Sliced bread?'' The bug asked. 
 
 I could n't contain my laughter. `` I'm only kidding. Us humans have a saying that when something is really good it is the'best thing since sliced bread.' Although now that I think of it, I have no idea why.'' 
 
 His eyes swelled the size of balloons, almost bulging out of his sockets. He reminded me of one of those stress reliever squeeze dolls, only the rest of him that was n't bulging was hard and armored. 
 
 `` We have not seen bread for several decades'' The bug said excitedly. He looked practically on the verge of ecstasy. Immediately a screen popped up in front of his face and script began typing out furiously. Several flashes later I managed to work out that my photo had been taken. The rest was history. Every TV screen and internal news feed around the world had the news within hours - bread was back. 
 
 The bug, along with many of the bug like aliens I had seen, had one common ancestor - the weevil. After exhausting almost every bit of flour in existence bread ceased to exist throughout the galaxy. Weevils verged on the edge of extinction until a synthetic was made, but it was never quite the same. Now the existence of tasty bread was only a thing of stories. 
 
 What a funny world is n't it? An abundance of wheat on Earth and subsequent monopoly allowed humans to become one the most powerful species in the universe in a matter of years. And I was there, Allen Good, to watch it all unfold. One thing still baffles me more than anything else though, still brings a hearty chuckle from me to this day. Do you know what they all had to ask? 
 
 `` Why do you slice it?''
