[ WP ] Write the most elaborate , over-dramatic , and exciting story you can think of that all just turns out to be a set-up for a pun so horrible I 'll want to punch you

My friends ask me why I did it, and while I had no straight forward answer to give them, I always tell them `` If I do n't do it, who will? Who will pave the path ahead of us if not me? Someone has to take the risk and go where no one has gone before.'' 
 
 I did it! I've finally done it. 
 
 Three days I've spent without food, water, or sleep, constantly vigilante and watching my back for I know not where the next blow will come from. 
 
 Giant creatures soared past me, screaming as they do so, terrifying. 
 
 I spent the last day crawling across the tarmac, as my legs no longer had the strength to hold me up. 
 
 Over the last 3 days I have almost died nearly 20 times, truly a miracle that I am still alive and that I finally reached my destination. 
 
 I've lost one of my limbs and my body is covered in dirt and blood, but once again I am alive, and I made it. 
 
 **I AM, the chicken, that crossed the fucking road! ** 
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 EDIT: May not have been what you really wanted for this prompt, but I tried good sir, I tried.
