[ WP ] You are a bird being trained by the Republican party to disrupt and sabotage Democratic Rallies

“ You want me to do what?! ” I exclaimed. 
 
 “ It ’ s very simple: I want you go to the Democratic rally and cause a big fuss. Jump up on the podium if that ’ s what it takes. In fact, that ’ s not such a bad idea. In fact, it ’ s a great idea. ” 
 
 *Oh God…* I thought as he continued. 
 
 “ Tomorrow, you ’ re going to go to the Sanders rally, and you ’ ll go as something unusual, an animal maybe. ” He sat in his chair of gold and thought for a moment longer. I saw this as my opportunity to put in my two cents. 
 
 “ Sir, if I may, I don ’ t think this is the best way to sabotage our opponents. ” 
 
 He sat up straighter in his chair. “ You don ’ t know what a great idea is. I ’ m great at making great ideas. Everyone who ’ s told me my ideas are terrible, I ’ ve given them the bird. ” He paused and leaned back. “ That ’ s it. You ’ re going as a pet bird. You ’ ll get the audience ’ s attention. Then you ’ ll fly up to the podium, do a little song and dance, and everyone will forget what Bernie was talking about. ” 
 
 I pondered this longer than I really needed to. He loves to be flattered, and one way I do this is to consider his ideas for a while, then agree to them, no matter how crazy they were. “ What do I get out of it? ” I asked him. 
 
 “ I ’ ll give you a million dollars if you pull it off. ” 
 
 I ’ m a professional. I always pull it off. 
 
 “ It'll be done, Mr. Trump. ” I said as I left to complete my mission.
