[ WP ] You realize one day that when you think about something you should have said or done in the past that history rewrites itself so that you did . You also discover that you must be very careful when thinking about the past .

We stood in the mall, shoppers passing us, *White Christmas* drifting slowly out of the speakers and falling to surround us. 
 
 `` I just want to stop at Bath and Body Works before we leave.'' Laurel said. 
 
 I sighed. We had been at the mall for almost two hours. I was tired, I was hungry, and *Destiny* was n't going to play itself. I wanted to go home. 
 
 `` Alright.'' God damn it. 
 
 `` I just want to look at those candles, they're on sale this week.'' I could feel her hand meet mine. 
 
 `` And *then* can we go?'' I asked, knowing the answer. She sighed, sounding annoyed. 
 
 `` Seriously, Ryan? You knew we had errands to run today.'' 
 
 `` No,'' I started. `` I knew *you* had errands to run --'' 
 
 `` You agreed to come with me.'' She stated. She dropped my hand. 
 
 `` Right, but you said you had to return a pair of jeans...'' I dropped it. It's not like my opinion matters. 
 
 Too late. She stopped, and pulled me to the side of the massive hallway. We were positioned between a Baby Gap and a Forever 21. Oddly, the demographic in both stores seemed to be the same age. 
 
 `` Ryan, I'm getting really tired of feeling like your mother when we have stuff to do --'' 
 
 `` When *you* have stuff to do.'' Not helpful. 
 
 `` *We* have stuff to do. You did n't have to come with me, but you chose to. Please stop making this miserable.'' 
 
 I thought back to this morning, when she asked me over breakfast if I could come with her. Technically, she was right, I had said yes. However, she practically gave me an ultimatum; she wanted the yard done *or* I could come return some jeans with her. What was I supposed to say? 
 
 A sudden fear clutched my chest. In the past month, I had noticed that when thinking about past events, if I thought hard enough about an alternative outcome, things shifted as though that alternative outcome had happened. 
 
 I wondered what would happen if I thought about saying no. About doing an hour's worth of yard work so I would n't have to be here. I looked at her, and concentrated. 
 
 Nothing. 
 
 `` Can we just be okay, and finish shopping? We can get lunch or something, as long as we can also go to Ross so I can look for shoes for Kayla's wedding.'' She offered. 
 
 Still nothing. I was getting irritated. She does that a lot, offers me a little and asks for more. Thinking about it, she had done that since we started dating. I was getting so sick of it. 
 
 `` What do you say? Shopping and lunch day?'' She asked. 
 
 I looked away, annoyed, surveying the shoppers in the mall. I loved this girl, but she could be so demanding. I just wanted my own time for once, just a whole weekend where I could do whatever I wanted. I had earned that, had n't I? I was n't a bad guy, I've done `` shopping and lunch'' days before. Several times. I was good to her. 
 
 `` Laurel, no. I want to go home.'' I said. 
 
 I thought about all the times I had done what she asked, without complaining. Had she done that for me? Had *anyone* done that for me? Once, I suppose, right as Laurel and I started dating. There was a girl I worked with, Erin. Laurel and I were fighting, and Erin had let me talk about it for hours after work. Laurel hated that we were close. 
 
 We sat on the roof of my car and shared a beer and she just let me vent. She moved to Connecticut soon after that, but man she was cool. I always felt like she was into me, and she was a cutie, but nothing ever happened. I could n't let it. I could n't live with myself if it did, and I would have had to tell Laurel, which would have ended our relationship. 
 
 I had always wondered what would have come of it had we kissed that night, though. Would Erin and I be together? I felt like it could have come to that, had I let it. I could see it in my mind, the night was quiet, the low light from the parking lot lamp cast our shadows across the pavement. I could see us lean in and kiss each other -- 
 
 Shit. I could feel it. Like a cold breeze that emanated from my chest outward. 
 
 It happened. 
 
 I looked at Laurel. She stared at me, misty-eyed, with a distant look as though she was slowly coming to a realization. 
 
 Not a realization. A memory. Her memory was returning -- rather, being created. 
 
 I could never kiss someone else and not talk to her about it. Apparently, that's exactly what just happened. 
 
 `` Laurel-'' 
 
 `` *Don't*'' she said, trembling. `` *Don't* you dare.'' 
 
 We stood in the mall, shoppers passing us, *White Christmas* drifting slowly out of the speakers and falling to surround us.
