[ WP ] Nuclear war breaks out in the world two weeks before the new Star Wars movie comes out . Now , in the nuclear wasteland , you and a group of survivors brave the dangers of the post apocalyptic world with one goal in mind : find a copy of the movie to finally watch .

I wo n't bore you with the details of what all happened after the explosions, but I will tell you about the time me and a group decided it was time to go raiding for the holy grail of artifacts: A copy of The Force Awakens. 
 
 The settlement was not far from a movie theater if you had a car. Just about ten miles, yeah? Seemed easy enough. One of our friends was able to hook up a generator and get power from some solar panels, and we had a projector, so there was that. Besides, we were all really bored. The settlement would be fine. 
 
 That was what we concluded from inside he bar- some things never change in small towns. Then we stepped outside into the December cold. We hurried over towards the big old house where we were staying and grabbed the supplies. 
 
 The people that volunteered to go were a measly bunch. There was me, Chris, the town librarian/scribe. I kept records of everything that went on and had a pretty good shot as far as rifles went and was comfortable wielding a sword. There was Peter, our school's star quarterback and Star Wars nerd. He was in it for muscle and to see if Jar Jar was actually a Sith Lord. Claire, my younger sister, tagged along so that we would n't get into trouble. She also was sick of making soap and counting iodine bottles. There was my best friend, Colten, he was a tech savvy guy, the one that hooked up power. Then, there was Roxanne, my girlfriend. She had a truck that we decided to use in case we found anymore supples we would need. She's also really handy with an axe- god I love that girl. Anyways, we five decided it was time to head into the wasteland. 
 
 We stepped out of the safety of the car-lined wall that was being reinforced with clay from all around, white snow glistened on top of the metallic cars. `` April is the cruelest month,'' I say. 
 
 `` April? It's not even Christmas! And besides, it's not that bad. Considering this is Alabama we're talking about. Did everyone bring the iodine?'' My little sister was always very blunt and realistic, whereas I was imaginative and practical. 
 
 `` Yeah whatever. Roxy, where's the truck?'' 
 
 `` Over yonder in the shed. Come on, I wan na see if we can get there by nightfall.'' She had a slight Dixie accent when she started to talk, probably from being raised by her dad and brothers in the foothills. We all made our way and climbed into the cab after throwing our stuff in the back. We then made out way there. 
 
 Nothing much happened on the way over there other than talking about speculations. By the time we got to the theater, we were met with a shocking site: A large camp was in front of the movie theater, and a banner was there displaying a poorly clothed anime character. Dear god, the camping neckbeards had made this there settlement. We drove up and stepped out of the cab, clutching our weapons. 
 
 We carefully approached the wooly creatures. Most of them looked like starter Chewbaccas. Peter was mortified by the smell. I approached the one who seemed like the leader, he wielded a limited edition Darth Maul lightsaber and an Indiana Jones Fedora. 
 
 `` Tell me, are you part of the PC master race or a filthy console peasant?'' The master of zits sat upon his throne of plastic swords, clutching onto his body pillow. I wondered if I was actually in a really bad Mad Max movie. 
 
 `` Uh... Praise Gaben?'' I said. `` Look, we came to see if we could get The Force Awakens...'' 
 
 Sir Zitsalot perked up. `` Oh, so you want to see it, eh? We have a problem. We were going to torrent the flash drive, but we ca n't get the computers to operate...'' Blah blah blah. I motioned to Colten to go fix whatever needed to be fixed. Claire had slipped into a Hazmat suit as she handed out some Doritos. After a bit, Colten returned with a flash drive. `` We got it!'' 
 
 The king and his neckbeards Knights nodded. `` It was a pleasure doing business with you. May the goddess Rei guide you in your travels.'' C-could they not do this whole... Okay. We headed back to the settlement, awaiting with baited breath. It was December 25. We plugged in the flash drive and were greeted with... C3PO AND R2D2 WEARING SANTA HATS. THE NECKBEARDS HAD TRICKED US!!!! 
 

