[ TT ] Kanada , a grim and humourless people headed by a ruthless and despotic Parпiament ruled under the iron fist of Tяudeau , has invaded an apologetic US and a militarily unprepared Russia .

The great règle rose upon the dais at the head of Parliamentary square. In perfect formation stood before him more than a hundred thousand Mountie troops. Banners everywhere of the black maple leaf, inside a white disk, framed by a red background. Tяudeau flattened his hair and prepared to speak. With his left hand raised, palm flat, he silenced the cheering crowd. 
 
 `` Our great people, who were lumberjacks and fur traders, who lived in igloos, ate blubber and transported solely by dog sled teams. And we do know Jimmy, Sally and Suzie from Kanada, as we keep them under surveillance. You can never be certain how nice someone can be. I am your prime minister, not your president. I speak the great noble language of French and English, not *American*. And we are aboot to make the world aware of this. We will proudly sew our flags upon other people's backpacks, whether they like it or not. 
 
 We believe in CONQUERING, *not* peacekeeping. Assimilation above diversity. And the beaver is a fucking rodent we gladly hunted into extinction more than a hundred years ago. Hat is pronounced'toque'. A chesterfield is not a couch. We will re-write the perceptions of the world from A to ZEE. Our nation is temporarily the second largest land mass, destined to soon become *the only land mass*. We may suck at hockey but we are conquerors of the world. 
 
 My name is Tяudeau, and I AM KANADIEN.'' 
 

