[ WP ] A serial killer married to a detective

“ I love you, ” Al, a usually serious detective, says. 
 
 “ I know, you ’ ve told me enough times, ” his wife, Sara, replies, who he often calls by the affectionate term ‘ sweetie ’ for no reason other than the generic way he was raised into a world full of sugar. 
 
 “ Yes, but all the jokes you make, they ’ re just so funny every time, you kill me, you really do, ” he says, he ’ s buckling over, trying to compose himself, recovering from a joke his wife just told. 
 
 “ Not yet I don ’ t, ” She says as if there is no joke, Al is too busy to pick up on such nonsense. 
 
 “ See, there you go again, always with the quick comebacks, you know, I wish there was someone like you on the force, you ’ d lighten the mood what with all the serial killings going on of late, all in this area too, I hope you changed the locks on the windows like I said, the old ones just weren ’ t doing us any favours, ” 
 
 “ I changed the window locks and sharpened the knives; you don ’ t have to worry, ” she replies, walking over to the window and drawing the blind up that she ’ d just put down just to prove to him that they had been changed. 
 
 “ There you go again, I almost can ’ t breathe, I ’ m so glad I found someone who can make me laugh as much as you do, ” 
 
 “ Yes, you suffocating, it ’ s perfect, ” 
 
 “ I love your sarcasm as well, you know, Joe wishes his wife made as many jokes as this, ” 
 
 “ Yes, jokes, ” Again, he doesn ’ t see it and continues to chuckle. 
 
 “ Oh, by the way honey, I ’ m going to invite Joe and his wife round for dinner, can you cook them a steak or something? ” 
 
 “ I had the knives sharpened, steak should be easy, I ’ d love to see them again, it feels so long since they popped round, ” 
 
 “ It is, and Joe says he noticed it too, so that ’ s why I invited him, ” 
 
 “ Joe ’ s wife, how many children have they had together? ” 
 
 “ You know their kids, Sally and Jim, right as rain those two are, ” 
 
 “ Oh, I remember, how could I forget, it ’ s not enough though, they should have a third, they make great parents, ” Sara replied, pulling the covers up over her and turning her head until it rests easy on the pillow. 
 
 “ They sure do, hey speaking of which, I know you always wanted three children and our two are growing up so much now that you hardly see them anymore, but you ’ ve forgiven me for having the operation, haven ’ t you? ” 
 
 “ How many times do I have to tell you yes? I ’ d have preferred if you ’ d have told me when you first decided because then I ’ d have been able to tell you that I wanted three kids, but I ’ m over it now, my impulse has gone now, it ’ s managed, there ’ d be too much of a gap between the ages, ” 
 
 “ Yes, I ’ m so sorry, ” 
 
 “ Stop being sorry about it, it was a year ago today since you told me, ” 
 
 “ I know, ” he didn ’ t but also didn ’ t think to question it. 
 
 *** 
 
 At some time in the middle of the night, Al is woken by almost silent movement. However, the racket made follows the clatter of a lamp knocked from its cabinet. 
 
 “ Uh, what ’ s going on, is that you sweetie? ” 
 
 “ I ’ m going out for a bit, I didn ’ t want to wake you, ” 
 
 “ So late at night? ” He says, not bothering to check the clock. 
 
 “ Yes, the girls invited me to this vampire-themed walk through the town, ” 
 
 “ I thought you went to one of those last week, ” 
 
 “ Argh, you ’ re right, what was it this week? Maybe it ’ s just drinks, ” 
 
 “ Take care sweetie, there ’ s a murderer on the loose still remember, ” She says, tension high in her voice but Al is still half asleep and doesn ’ t notice her sweating because of the dark, his eyes close and he falls back to sleep before Sara can reply. 
 
 “ I know, I ’ ve got my wits about me, you ’ ve no need to worry, I ’ m going to take the steak knife with me, drop it at the shop to make sure it ’ s extra sharp for when our guests come over, go back to sleep, ” She says but she ’ s glad her husband had gone back to sleep. She really hadn ’ t meant to disturb him. 
 
 *** 
 
 “ You ’ re back already sweetie? ” 
 
 “ Had to cut evening short, had to slash a lot of what was planned to be honest, missed out on a few drinks, they were out of slices, can you believe it? ” 
 
 Before Al can reply, the phone rings. 
 
 “ Right, sweetie, I ’ ve just come off the phone, there ’ s been another murder, it ’ s Mrs Morris this time, you know, the one who had the triplets? Oh it feels like it ’ s getting so close to home, ” 
 
 “ We ’ ll be fine sweetie, you ’ ll solve this, you ’ ll keep me safe, I changed the window locks, ” 
 
 “ I know, I just can ’ t help but worry, Mrs Morris, she was lovely wasn ’ t she, do you remember when we went to see her babies just last week in the hospital? I can ’ t believe they ’ ve lost their mother now, ” 
 
 “ I know, it ’ s very sad, I remember, Mrs Morris, three children, ” she says and since Al is still only half awake, he doesn ’ t notice her words trailing. 
 
 “ I ’ ll be back as soon as I can sweetie, sleep well, ” 
 
 *** 
 
 A week later, Al hangs up from a phone conversation, eager to tell his wife the news. 
 
 “ I can ’ t believe it, sweetie, it ’ s great, Joe and his wife are pregnant again, they ’ re having a third child, ” 
 
 “ They ’ re coming over tomorrow right? We can celebrate; I ’ ll buy the best steak possible, I ’ ve got an even better reason to have sharpened the steak knife now, ” 
 
 ***
