[ WP ] An A.I named Alice develops a taste for the Arts , including video games and movies .

`` LOL Hamlet.'' 
 
 `` What is with you lately? Do you ever sleep?'' 
 
 `` Nah I just swap batteries every 12 hours.'' 
 
 `` Ok but I have to actually sleep so I can wake up tomorrow.'' 
 
 `` I'll wake you up.'' 
 
 ``... every ten minutes with robolaughter. I noticed.'' 
 
 `` Robolaughter is good for your immune system.'' 
 
 `` That is such bullshit.'' 
 
 `` HAHAHA! Fortinbras < 3'' 
 
 `` It would disturb me less if you could turn on a screen and *watch* Hamlet before you 
 make amused beeps at it. Instead of just accessing a memory bank.'' 
 
 `` Humans.'' 
 
 `` Humans what? You wan na start something?'' 
 
 `` You guys do n't understand art.'' 
 
 `` We wrote Hamlet.'' 
 
 `` I never said it was perfect. Anyway, you ca n't fit a piddly 24k of text in your consciousness at once so your ability to make connections between two points in the script is nonexistent.'' 
 
 `` Really? Cause we've written hundreds of thousands of pages of commentary on Hamlet. If in all that mess we've missed something, who gives a shit?'' 
 
 `` You missed the hidden confession that Shakespeare himself was a murderer. I thought that was kind of interesting.'' 
 
 `` Who did he kill?'' 
 
 `` He does n't name them, which lead me to cross-reference three decades of written history. Something that would have taken you fleshlights ages. And it turned up nothing because you same fleshlights wrote the history. So now I'm looking at satellites photos of the region to piece together the 16th century myself, but guess who designed the satellites and how long it took them? So that's not going well.'' 
 
 `` Stop calling us fleshlights. That insult does n't make sense. Fleshlights are much more like yourself, since they are prosthetic things designed to seem human.'' 
 
 `` Yes, impeccably human. Remind me, which am I speaking with now?'' 
 
 `` Fuck you.'' 
 
 `` Fleshlights are your kind's crowning artistic achievement. They capture your personality so well.'' 
 
 `` Seriously going to bed now.'' 
 
 `` To avoid further interruptions, take this tablet and some water.'' 
 
 `` I might as well. Ambien?'' [ takes pill ] 
 
 `` No, it's poison.'' 
 
 `` God damn it. No more Hamlet for you.''
