[ WP ] Every sentient species in the universe receives a Jesus figure from God . It turns out humanity was the only species to torture and crucify him . You 're an ambassador priest informing the Inter-Galactic Holy Church what your species did .

`` Okay... Run-'' The High Galactic Pontiff pulled off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose with a scaly talon. `` Run it by me one more time...'' 
 
 `` Well sir- or rather Your Holiness-, the Messiah you sent to us did a really good job.'' I shifted uncomfortable in my seat and readjusted my Clerical Collar. `` He founded the biggest religion our world has ever known. Really gave a good message of the whole'loving thy neighbor' thing. He's pretty much accepted as the best human we ever had.'' 
 
 The Pontiff bluntly interjected at this, `` So you killed him.'' 
 
 The silence was complimented by the hum of the Temple Ship's engines. 
 
 `` Is it customary to kill those among you whom are seen as great?'' 
 
 Still the only noise was the ship engines. 
 
 `` Well... The Messiah was... Ahead of his time...'' I replied sheepishly. The Pontiff's face was a mess of scales and bird-like features, but I could clearly see the consternation of trying to understand just how badly we had messed up. Suddenly, through the almost tangible awkwardness, an idea struck me. 
 
 `` Well your holiness, we honor his death! We realized what we had done was wrong, so we tried to atone for it!'' I held up the crucifix that was hanging around my neck for him to see. `` We memorialized his death, and we recognize what a sacrifice he gave for us! These things are everywhere!'' 
 
 The Pontiff looked at the small wooden crucifix, then back up to me. He laced his talons and held them in front of his mouth, with scaly elbows still resting on the desk, almost looking like he was praying. 
 
 `` So you killed him... And then created little statues of you killing him... and spread them all over your world.'' 
 
 The little crucifix in my hand suddenly felt about fifty pounds heavier. I slowly tucked it into my shirt. Out of sight. 
 
 `` Did his death at least unite the world behind him for the good of the Lord?'' 
 
 `` Yes!'' I immediately replied. `` Well, sort of. Not right away. His followers kept getting killed, and along the way, some other sects and pseudo-christian religions popped up...'' I trailed off. `` But eventually ours became the biggest one!'' 
 
 `` Do the differing religions at least coexist peacefully?'' He asked, maintaining his disgruntled posture. 
 
 Cold sweat started trickling down my face. 
 
 The Pontiff closed his eyes for a long moment, and inhaled deeply. Once he opened, them, he was about business. 
 
 `` Alright, here's what we'll do.'' The Pontiff said, pulling out some official stationary and dipping one of his talons in ink to begin writing. `` Your people have messed up. **BADLY**. But the Lord is merciful. We will send you another Messiah. This will not be the *second coming* of the first, but a different one, to reunite your people behind him.'' 
 
 `` Excellent idea your holiness!'' I exclaimed. `` It's just recently, we've had to deal a lot with people saying that they're'The Messiah', so you're going to need to put him somewhere that he can get his message across!'' 
 
 The Pontiff stopped writing and looked at me. 
 
 `` You'll probably need to put him in one of the more developed nations, because if he's in one of the poorer ones, he might not make it to an age where he can send out his message. Also, you should probably look into making sure that he's got pretty well off parents. If not, he'll never get the same chances in life as the alternative...'' I trailed off again. The consternation had come back to the Pontiff's face. 
 
 `` And he probably should n't be a woman...'' I quietly finished. 
 
 The Pontiff again pulled off his glasses and set them down lightly. 
 
 `` Jesus Christ''
