[ WP ] There is no Hell , only a warped perception of Heaven

Have n't left my room in, what, years? What's the point? 
 
 I ca n't find Helen anywhere. The others say, if you ca n't find it here, it just is n't a part of paradise. OK, sure, it would be fair to say my time with Helen was hardly paradise. We had our ups and downs. I had a temper; she had one too. I drank; she took pills. We never had a baby, but we had a few close calls. We always took care of it; I always paid. 
 
 Since high school, I've loved her. I do n't even know how long ago that was, anymore. Time is funny here. When I look out the window, into the vast verdant gardens, I see the others. In their gossamer white robes, they sing and dance, play games, eat fruit, and make love. Outside, I watch their ecstasy. 
 
 But where's Helen? I used to just walk and walk, asking if anyone knew anyone who could match her description. Of course they did, but none of them knew Helen. How many billions of souls reside in this infinite dimension, and how many must bear resemblance to that girl from Marietta who I left however long ago? I never tired, not physically, but I did lose hope. I tried to distract myself, spent time with other women, but none could last. None of them were Helen. 
 
 I've had the wine here, absolutely delicious. I've tasted the fruit, the meats, the cheeses, all literally divine. I've swam in crystal clear oceans, floated among the stars. I waited in line for a decade to spend an hour with Marilyn Monroe. Her skin was perfect, and her charm nearly unimaginable. We just chatted about life and death, and those we miss, and those we forgive. She gave me a kiss on the cheek when my time was up, and her lips were the softest I've ever felt. 
 
 When Helen kissed, she would often bite my lip, just hard enough to really hurt. Her tongue was a thick mass of diseased flesh, and she used far too much of it. A few minutes of heavy kissing left my beard soaked with saliva. Her breath stank of stale menthols and cheap vodka. 
 
 But I ca n't find a kiss like that here, no matter how hard I look. I ca n't find Helen
