[ WP ] We live in a world where every time you have a complete fuck up , your parents get teleported to where you are and start giving you the most annoying lecture on what you have just done . Today it happened to you at work .

Working in accounting could possibly be the most boring of day jobs. The most boring of all jobs. Today was no exception so I decided to try something new. I took my break a little earlier than normal and went across the street to a new deli promising a cheap delicious lunch. 
 
 Having eaten and paid I made my way back to the office, swinging my drink between my fingers as I walk, dreading working with this pain in the ass client my boss stuck me with. These guys could potentially be worth millions, but I'm looking at years of concerted effort before I reap any rewards. I step off the elevator to my floor and head to my desk, stopping at all the necessary `` checkpoints'' of supervisors and chatty co-workers, delaying planting my ass in the chair as much as I can before a superior gets annoyed. 
 
 I place my drink on a shelf above my monitor and get to work. Debits here, credits there, transfers... Bleh. A noise from the next cubicle over promises some entertainment as I hear muttering and cursing. Apparently the app someone was using froze ( again ) and it was all he could do to deal with it, when he suddenly KICKED to partition wall of the cubicle. OH. SHIT. 
 
 I saw it happen in near slow motion, my drink fell off of the shelf and onto my keyboard, spilling everywhere and bashing random keys all at once. Being preoccupied I did n't notice several negative debits to the clients account being made... in rapid succession. I looked up after cleaning as much spillage as I could only to have it dawn on me. The updates were being made LIVE. I scrambled to repair the changes but the damage was done, it would take 72 hours to reverse the changes and another 48 or so for those to be verified. Until then the client was in the hole approximately five million dollars, unable to pay employees, unable to purchase product, effectively shut down for a week. 
 
 In all my years, decades even, of working in this business this had to be my worst fuck up. 
 
 Oh. 
 
 OH GOD NO. 
 
 The phrase `` fuck up'' rang through my brain, I knew what was coming. I could n't stop it. All I could do was brace myself. Sure as the sun shines immediately behind me there was an explosion of dirt and debris, bits of fabric and an ungodly stench. I slowly turned around to be greeted by skeletons who were mostly devoid of flesh. 
 
 `` DAMNIT CHARLES'' My dad hissed through his dirty, off-white teeth throwing bits of dirt across my desk. `` I KNEW VOUCHING FOR YOU WOULD COME BACK TO BITE ME IN THE ASS''. `` We are both very disappointed in you, how could you ruin your families reputation like this?'' At least that's what I THOUGHT my mother said, not having lips made some of it hard to make out. 
 
 I'll be 54 in a few weeks, both of my parents passed away about ten years ago in a car crash. The left leg of my father, which was separated from his body in the crash that killed him, teleported along side my parents and promptly flopped to the floor, disconnected from the whole. I sat staring at that leg for what seemed like an eternity while the lecture continued. 
 
 `` You ca n't help yourself, can you? Just like I said you need a routine! you change it up and all kinds of crap can happen!'' My dads jaw tilted on the word `` crap'', placing an emphasis on the R as my mom popped the bone back into place. `` you know we both care about you, honey, but your father is right, you need routine, discipline'' My father began to pull at his belt, which disintegrated in his skeletal hand and broke in half. I stood up and turned around, while my father proceeded to `` spank'' me by slowly dragging the belt across my backside. 
 
 Skeletons are n't incredibly strong, you see. 
 
 After about 20 seconds of `` spanking'' my dad said `` I hope you've learned your lesson!'' and my mother pressed her teeth against my forehead `` Do better dear!'' As a vacuum began to suck dirt, clothes and office supplies towards my parents feet there was a flash and they were gone. Finally. 
 
 Before I could even sit down to process the shock of what just happened I hear a very angry `` CHARLES! WHAT THE FUCK!?'' come from my managers office. 
 
 Goddamnit. 
 

