[ WP ] The entire world loses all its WiFi , except for one place . Your body is the only WiFi hot-spot on the planet .

`` Just let me plug in!'' 
 
 Fuck off. Living with Jamal has become a real pain in the ass since he stopped going to work because not only am I preparing his food, I'm providing his food without expense. The only kicker of our relationship is by some means he is paying the rent, and most importantly our not-so-much-of-a-godsend Comcast Uvere Internet that randomly goes from 15 mpbs to.5 mbps: truly bipolar, just like Jamal. He's been bugging lately expressing that he read on some site called Yettit that he could get faster speeds if he ran a cord halfway across our apartment living space. Yeah, what happens when Teresa comes over and her crutch takes out your LAN connection now? Not happening because I value Teresa ten times, if not infinetly more than leaving this apartment more of an embarassing and cluttered space. I can only deal with so much, and patience is by no means a virtue I keep dear to my heart: I'm a hot head. 
 
 `` You want to starve, cocksucker? I can do that if I see a yellow cord running anywhere along the walkspace to your shitsmelling room. No is no - get a Laptop already!'' 
 
 He is out of control. 
 
 `` Laptops are SHIT, I keep telling you this, girl - WiFi is SHIT and is why I ca n't ever get a good game of League of Legends. If I had STABLE internet, I could actually win my promotions to platinum without tilting because I ca n't control my character! Just. Let. ME!'' 
 
 If this is the way he treats other people, just imagine how others in that game must be like. I feel like the real victim here because I've got to cope with this shit everyday I come home. 
 
 `` Fuck. No! `` 
 
 I actually punched the wall. It did nothing to the wall, except make him slide back in his swivel chair to get a proper look at me through the tiny crack in the doorway he elected to have instead of coming to speak face to face about his'issues'. Maybe if he did that, I would take it seriously. 
 
 `` Yo, do n't be hitting that god damn WALL! I'm not paying to have it fixed, you HEAR?!'' 
 
 He actually raised his voice at me. Like I could actually leave a dent on that wall? I slapped my hand against the wall as I watched him straggle about in his room in uncertainty of whether or not he wanted to leave to speak with me. I need to pressure him to get what I want. It worked. 
 
 `` What did I fucking say, look, I'm in a ranked game, you have to knock this shit off right now or I'm going to- `` 
 
 The lights dimmed, and flickered along with the alarms within the housing from security systems to electrical appliances. 
 
 `` Aw SHIT, always bad TIMING! Fuck SAKE my team is going to REPORT ME!'' 
 
 The power returned within a few moments, and as did my interest in seeing this matter through because his frustration is amusing to watch in an odd way. Maybe I'm a bit of a sadist and I ca n't come to terms with it, but I just like to watch him struggle when it's so easy to trigger him. Whatever, I need to check Facebook. The growling coming from the chasm of our walkway diminished as I laid myself down on the one good couch we had. I laid there, and looked through my phone. Strangely enough, 4g seemed to be down because after the minutes of mumbling a strange silence could be felt linger in the house. Maybe it's because Jamal is staring at the computer, waiting in anticipation for it to load after running out of cusses to say about how'unlucky' he is. 
 
 `` Hey, Jess, should n't the internet be on by now?'' he said in a less-forced, almost genuinely concerned type of way that he only truly uses when he's speaking with his mother on the phone. You know, thinking about it now, it has been about 20 minutes since power had turned back on after that flicker. 
 
 `` Wait, nevermind, did our Router rename itself to J E S S - Jess, and it's open? What did I say about touching my shit? Most importantly, you OPENED the network up to the public? You trying to get the NSA in on my shit?!'' 
 
 I had no idea what to say, but an idea came to mind to get him off my back when I try to think of a funny joke to text to Teresa. 
 
 `` Do n't you got a Legends League game to finish?'' 
 
 `` Shit, yeah.. Fuck you, though, for real. If this some joke, nah... - not COOL!'' I could hear him slap his hand down on his mouse from out here like an echo through some chasm. Except, since it's a mouse he probably slammed, it would be a squeak. Yeah, girls can be good at making jokes, too! 
 
 `` Yo, this is weird. All my teammates are disconnected. The fuck? Nah, No argument from me - give me that free LP bruddah'!'' 
 
 He laughed manically. Still, no response from Teresa. She's usually quite a fast texter, but maybe she's going somewhere. She ca n't walk and text like everyone else, since she is handicapped and uses crutches. I ca n't expect too much from her. But finally, a message: 
 
 `` Jess, the internet is n't working. Who's your provider?'' 
 
 Comcast, but who cares if I'm not even paying for it. I want to watch television. I switch it on, and instead of a reality tv show, I'm faced with a middle age man tight-fitted in a suit and a disappointed look on his face with a scrolling banner that says `` Internet is reported to be down in these locations'' followed by the very same man discussing the scale of this supposed phenomena. Is this for real? When will it be back? 
 
 `` Yo, Jess, I'm Platinum now - Wussup! Give me five - Yo did n't know you were into the news,'less this is one of those parody shows. Shit, what is he saying?'' 
 
 `` The internets' out across the country.'' 
 
 `` But ours is working just fine.'' 
 
 `` What do you mean, Jamal?'' 
 
 `` Look, I'll show you, I'm in queue right now, but we'll load onto my site I had n't checked out today, yeah.'' 
 
 By his site he means world star hip hop. I have no idea what the attraction is for this site to even begin with. Like, who visits it? Except this time when it seems apparent to what we can assume is fact, there it was a loaded web page and video of an unknown rapper victimizing my ears with his bad singing that even auto tuning could n't fix. 
 
 `` Can you check Yahoo, CNN to confirm that this is true?'' 
 
'Yeah, I mean, I do n't go to those sites, but alright girl let me type'em in. Nope, nothing on either - look.'' 
 
 That's when it got to me. If they do n't have access to the internet, how can they change their website. 
 
 `` I do n't think they can change it.'' 
 
 `` Shit, you're right. So you think we actually had good internet the whole time? For real, I'm lucky for once? Dang. Weird, I ca n't log into the router and make it protected. You did this, right?'' 
 
 `` No, I did n't. I would n't know how to anyways.'' 
 
 `` Check the router.'' 
 
 I stepped over to the router, and as I turned to him from down the hall, his mouth seemed to open. 
 
 `` Come back over here, actually.'' 
 
 I came closer to him, uncertain of what he is going on about. 
 
 `` Nah go back...'' 
 
 I stop, midway, uncertain what he is going on about 
 
 `` To the router?'' 
 
 I og back to the router. 
 
 `` You have a pocket wifi on you, or something? The packets I'm sending, and the little bars on the Wifi get tinier when you walk further away. But I ca n't seem to get access to the router. I do n't think it is our router I'm linked to. `` 
 
 `` Then what are you connected to?'' 
 
 `` You, and this time - I do n't think I will be needing to hook you up to my computer to make the most of this predicament.'' 

