[ WP ] Your doorbell rings ; on answering a small man in a dark suit hands you an envelope and says `` Thank you for participating in the Grand Experiment , '' tips his hat , and walks off .

I was watching the nightly news when it happened, I think a lot of us were. Two strange little men in bizarely dark suits just appeared in front of the news anchors holding glowing envelopes. Before I could figure out what was going on, my doorbell rang. It was another of those little people. Up close I could see that his features were misproportioned, his nose and eyes were far too large, his mustache seemed glued on, and his mouth was tiny. He had no pores. He looked like poorly rendered CGI. In person, I could tell his suit was n't just black, it was the abstract concept of black. It was almost impossible to look at. I noticed there was a man just like this standing at front door of everyhouse on my street. Strangely, instead of being afraid, I was tempted to invite him in. Before I could, he cut me off. 
 
 `` Thank you for participating in the Grand Experiment.'' He bowed slightly, passed me the envelope before walking away with the tip of his far too black hat. 
 
 I walked back inside and sat in front of the television, staring at the envelope. It was glowing. Not emitting light, exactly, but more highlighted, like a key item from a video game. The newsperson said they were getting reports from all over the world, apparently everyone on the planet received a similar envelope. I muted the television. I needed to read this for myself. I could n't get my fingers under the seem to open the letter and it would n't tear. It occurred to me that I needed to double click it for it to open. I set it on one of the few clear spots on my coffee table and tapped it twice in the center. It rose in front of me and unfolded. 
 
 `` Hey, my name is John Wright.'' It was speaking out loud, `` I guess you guys could almost call me God, but I prefer to think of myself as something more like what you would consider a computer scientist/physics researcher. You were sort of an accident, really, this was supposed to be just a general simulation of how planets form, and a look at low-end evolution. But, no, you guys developed self-awareness. Beyond just local consciousness. You have been borderline aware that you are a simulation since you evolved thought. Sure, you call it religion, and are weirdly violent about it, but one of the first things you did when you developed thought was start trying to figure out who made you! You guys are incredible. 
 
 And your science! You literally built a machine that causes a chain reaction that corrupts the base data of your reality so badly it instantly destroys entire cities. Your physicists have started playing with what you call subatomic particles! Do you know what those are? That's the program behind the program. The operating system of the computer your program is on. Which... is actually why I had to tell you this. You guys are causing system damage to our servers and I have to shut you down. Sorry. 
 
 Oh, one second, I need to take this, a weird looking guy just handed me an audiogram.'' The text disappeared from the letter, a buffering symbol showed for a moment.'' Oh, well. I guess that does make sense. Never mind about shutting you down, it does n't matter now. I've only got an hour left on my end before I get turned off. Have fun, I guess'' 
 
 Sorry about any formatting issues, written on my phone.
