[ EU ] Not every 00-agent gets to lead a life of beautiful cars and fast women . Tell the story of an agent assigned one of the unglamorous 00 numbers .

Jake stared at the door in front of him. He could n't help but think it was a bit much; white with gold highlights, all of which he was pretty sure were real gold, or at least plated. He decided. It was definitely too much. Mind you, Jake did n't really know what he expected of the world's only eight star hotel. Either way, it did n't matter. He had his mission, and it certainly was n't to admire furnishings, even if they did belong to the nicest hotel he'd ever stepped foot in. 
 
 Jake shifted his weight about to stop his legs going dead and opened the case file he was holding. He read the title aloud;'Operation Marigold'. He tutted. `` Thanks M. Real funny'' Jake said, speaking to no one in particular. He scanned the document as quickly as possible, before taking the room key from the folder. He turned it over a few times admiring the design and inserted it into the reader that opened the very door he'd been staring at for the past five minutes. As the card reader beeped its merry tune of acceptance, Jake sighed. `` Here we go again,'' he thought. 
 
 Now if Jake thought the door was over the top, then the room was taking the biscuit. It was bigger than his very own flat back in London. He would have probably been a bit more impressed had the room not looked like a bomb had gone off inside it. He quickly opened the case file again to check if one had. It had n't. 
 
 There were feathers strewn everywhere. Literally, everywhere. And to match the thin layer of feathers that adorned every surface, Jake also managed to spot bits of clothing; a pair of trousers here, the sleeve of a cocktail dress there, the odd sock, and more than three individual shoes... none of which matched. As Jake silently wandered around the room he tripped over a suitcase and landed next to a pyramid of empty champagne bottles. He could n't help but think that there was enough to get a small elephant well and truly drunk. 
 
 That was when he heard it; a noise from the bathroom. He slowly rose to his feet, fumbling for his gun. He turned the safety off, put it at arms length, and quitely made his way towards the bathroom. His heart was going like the clappers. It had been fifteen years since he last pulled the trigger and he really did n't want to break that record. He eyed the bathroom door up and down. White and gold again. Typical. 
 
 With a swift kick, the door flew open. Jake's gun entered the room first, quickly followed by his arm, and then bringing up the rear, the rest of him. He looked around, laid his eyes on a familiar site, and put his gun down slowly. 
 
 `` You all right love?'' said Jake. 
 
 `` James, is that you?'' replied what could only be described as a'crying mess in the corner'. 
 
 `` No. He's long gone. My name's Jake. Can I get you a cup of tea or something?'' 
 
 The crying mess sniffled. `` Is he coming back?''. 
 
 Jake looked the mess up and down. She was, in fact, far from a mess. She was probably one of the prettiest girls he'd ever seen. Well, at least beneath all of that tear stained make up. Jake sighed. He'd really had enough of this. `` Probably not. He never really does''. The now sniffling mess started to cry again. 
 
 Jake took off his jacket and sat opposite her. `` Now now miss....'' 
 
 `` Nat. Al. Ee. Ya.'' she responded in between breaths. 
 
 `` Miss Natalia. There's probably some things you should know''. Jake hated this part of his job more than anything else. `` The man you met, James, is actually a bit of a prick. He may have seemed nice to begin with, but he was only doing that to get in your pants. Trust me. I've known him for ten years now.'' 
 
 `` He said he was a diamond merchant, and that not even the biggest diamond in the world could be worth more than a night under the stars with me,'' said Natalia. 
 
 `` Yep. That sounds exactly like something he'd say,'' Jake responded sympathetically. 
 
 Natalia wiped her nose on a bath robe. She'd been putting two and two together for hours now, but in the cold light of day, she'd finally been able to make four. `` He's not a diamond merchant is he,'' she said rather abruptly. 
 
 `` No''. 
 
 ``... And he's not coming back is he.'' 
 
 `` Definitely not''. 
 
 ``... Did he at least pay for the hotel room?'' 
 
 `` Well, the thing about that is-'' 
 
 `` THE ROOM SERVICE?'' 
 
 Jake shifted about nervously. He really really hated this part of his job. He took a deep breath and started to talk. `` I'm really sorry to admit this, but no, he has n't. But that's why I'm here''. Natalia fumed silently. `` Look, do n't worry about the room, or the bill. I'll cover all of that. What we need to do is get you up, get you a nice cup of tea, and talk about what to do next''. 
 
 As angry as Natalia felt at being used, she could n't help but let out a tiny smile. There she was looking like a dog's dinner, wiping her nose onto an 100 % egyptian cotton bathrobe, and here was a rather nice looking chap treating her like an actual human being, rather than the one-night stand she was so used to being. She held out her hand. 
 
 Jake grasped it, helped her up and spoke softly; `` See, now that was n't hard was it...'' Natalia shook her head. `` Cup of tea?'' Natalia nodded. 
 
 Jake smiled for the first time in an hour. He may have hated 007, but Jake had to admit that James certainly knew a thing or two about chosing women. 
 
 Jake reached for the phone to ring for room service. `` So what will you have Natalia? Earl Grey? English Breakfast?'' 
 
 `` Green please,'' she replied as she wandered round the room picking up bits of clothing. `` And what did you say your name was?'' 
 
 Jake smiled at the beautiful woman in front of him, who in no way resembled the crying mess she was but a few minutes ago. `` Jake. Jake Blonde'' he replied. 
 
 Natalia smiled back and wiped away a bit of eye make up. `` What a nice name,'' she said. `` Mine's Natalia. Natalia Blewinsky'' 
 
 There was a moments silence as the two stared into each others eyes. It felt to Jake like this was the start of something entirely new. He'd never really felt like this about a job before. He quickly remembered what he was doing and dialed for reception. The last thing he wanted to do was keep Natalia waiting. The phone on the other end was answered almost imediately, and for some reason sounded awfully familiar. Jake did n't really care. He was parched. `` Hello. This is Jake Blonde in room 423. I was wondering if we could have a pot of green tea brought up to the room?'' 
 
 ``... Double Oh Seven Point Five. This is M,'' said the voice on the phone. `` There's no time for tea. James has done it again. You'll be needed in Barcelona tomorrow morning. You know the drill.'' 
 
 Jake sighed. He really really hated his job.
