[ WP ] No one had ever kissed me like that…

Nobody had ever kissed me like that, the salt of her tongue made me understand everything that I'd come to know had been wrong. In that instant, I knew.. It all made sense now. 
 
 I always thought I was the only one, the only one who thought Ellen Pao was kind of a hottie. So many times in the past week I'd had the question written on so many subreddits, “ Am I the only one.. who thinks Ellen Pao is kind of hot? ”. The lawsuits, the controversies all never made sense to come out of such a beautiful and seemingly hyper intelligent women could be so controversial to the internet, but it all made sense now. 
 
 “ I know what you are, ” I brushed and played with her silky black hair, “ you do n't have to hide it anymore ”. Suddenly, a massive thump could be heard on the door, the pitchforks had finally came to kill us both. I retained my composure and looked Ellen lovingly in the eye and whispered, “ The butter. ”. 
 
 We kept eyes locked, her mouth opened, and as I'd expected I heard popping. I placed a hand firmly on her stomach and felt her expand. I smelt the mouth watering butter come from her mouth and finally the popcorn. The door crashed and dozens of FPH pitchforks stormed in, I planted my lips to hers and munched on her delicious, nutty popcorn as the mob stopped in their tracks. I pulled my face from hers and held her as closely as possibly. “ You'll all never understand, ” I looked with teary eyes into the angry mob, “ reddit does n't have employees. ”. The faces of the mob went from confusion to perplexed stew of befuddled bewilderment. “ They are n't normal people.. they're popcorn machines. ”. 
 
 Edit: Formatting error
