[ WP ] `` Sorry , but ... you 're actually NOT the Chosen One . ''

`` Sorry, but... you're actually NOT the Chosen One.'' 
 
 I do n't get the joke but make sure to chuckle audibly into the microphone, `` Haha! I love it, Dennis. Dennis, everyone!'' 
 
 Everyone is laughing now. 
 
 `` No but honestly thank you, population of the Earth, for coming out to see me give my humble speech today. You know I'm a bigger fan of all of you than you all are of me right?'' 
 
 Hundreds of translators work hurriedly to convey the message and a wave of chuckling and clapping ensue. 
 
 `` You've been great once again and I look forward to-'' 
 
 `` -I'm sorry to interrupt again but I was n't joking, you're not the Chosen One like we initially thought.'' 
 
 There's less laughter now. 
 
 `` Dennis, you know I love you man but I do n't think people are getting the joke that-'' 
 
 `` -please, I know this is a bad time but, we just thought, while everyone is gathered, you know, it would be easier to... make the announcement'' 
 
 Slightly worried now I respond, `` the announcement?'' 
 
 `` Yes, the announcement, that we've been revising our research and finding new documents and the Global Committee for the Chosen One are now certain beyond any doubt that you are n't actually the Chosen One as we initially believed.'' 
 
 Silence. I was silent. 
 
 `` B-But, but, Dennis-'' 
 
 `` -I'm sorry, but there's no easy way around this.'' Dennis hesitantly took the microphone, `` I'm sorry everyone but it's true. We were wrong. But there's no doubt this time. I'm afraid he's not the Chosen One.'' 
 
 `` Well then who is the Chosen One, Dennis?'' I retorted abruptly. 
 
 `` Well, we're still in talks with the U.N. and we have n't located him just yet but apparently he's called... Mark Smith'' 
 
 More silence. 
 
 `` Mark Smith?'' 
 
 `` Yes'' 
 
 `` You're sure?'' 
 
 `` Very.'' 
 
 I paused. 
 
 `` You're sure it's not me and that the Chosen One is a guy whose whereabouts you do n't know but whose name is Mark Smith.'' 
 
 `` That's right.'' 
 
 I paused again. 
 
 ``... Fuck.''
