[ WP ] A court that prosecutes time travelling criminals is once again charging someone for the attempted murder of Adolf Hitler .

The guard will drag the Time Traveler into the small courtroom. The courtroom will be very small, with no place for the attorneys or the audience to sit; only one for the judge, a very comfortable and fluffy chair, and one for the defendant, a wooden pillar which the defendant will be tied to. The Time Traveler will be a very unkempt man, with his beard and hair tied in knots which will never open, except with the ever corrupting effect of time, but we must n't forget that this man is a Time Traveler, and he can be exempt from the claws of time if he so desires. That, however, will depend on the decision of the judge. 
 
 The poor man, as he is being tied to the pillar, will look up to the judge hoping to find some redemption, but he will only see one look back at him: Bored, uninterested contempt. 
 
 “ So, ” the judge will say in a manner which was devoid of all enthusiasm, “ time traveler number 1456923830. I would like to congratulate you for trying to kill Hitler the 4500923rd time and failing again. I honestly couldn ’ t care less if you killed him or not, but what bothers me young man is your lack of creativity. When I was (? ) your age we did more creative things. Have you ever heard of a man called John Prottingen? I ’ d reckon not. He invented the cruelest torture device. ” 
 
 “ And you killed him? ” 
 
 The judge will shoot a glare: “ No, that would be boring. I inspired a much more cruel way for him to do it. So cruel in fact the Time Travel Regulation Union decided to buy it from him. Well, the reason I have told you is I decided upon your punishment. You shall be subject to the most gruesome of tortures. You will, for the rest of eternity, watch shows made for four year olds, with saccharine filter turned to eleven. No, what the hell twelve. ” 
 
 “ But sir we ’ ve never turned it so high ” the guard will say. 
 The judge will ignore him and continue, “ Guard, take him to room 435634278297-bckdö~k. All appeals have already been made and rejected. I hope I won ’ t, in any time or place, see you again. ” 
 
 The guard will take the Time Traveler to room 435634278297-bckdö~k. In there the Time Traveler will fail to endure the amount of saccharine in the room necessary to survive until the heat death. 

