[ WP ] Your phone is the best wingman ( playing music at the right time , calling people , etc . ) and keeps trying to set you up with this one person . It 's starting to get creative .

So, one moment I ’ m sitting at the computer trying to write some story at /r/WritingPrompts, and the next, I ’ m in a nightclub. Let me tell you what happened... 
 
 I had my phone in my pocket, and it accidentally called one of my friends. The only good excuse I could give, *since it was her freaking birthday*, was to treat her to a night out. She loves to party. I hate it. 
 
 As usual, I sit down in a corner while she ’ s having fun on the dance floor. I try to put on a good face, despite my social anxieties. My phone vibrates. It ’ s a notification about my New Year ’ s resolution. 
 
 **You ’ ll be twenty-six this year. ** 
 
 * Get your life in order. 
 * Stop moping. 
 * Get a job. 
 * Find a boyfriend. 
 
 Thanks, Phone, just what I needed. As if I ’ m not feeling bad enough as it is! I ’ m about to put it down when it vibrates again. It ’ s another notification, the one Nick made me put in. 
 
 ***Eat something. *** 
 
 Right, that ’ s actually a good idea. I haven ’ t eaten all day. I head over to the bar and order a sandwich and fries. While I ’ m waiting for the food, I notice a guy at the bar. He has a blond snag and a beard with braids. He looks a bit like Ragnar Lothbrok from Vikings. Cutie patootie, I think, despite myself. 
 
 I sigh, if only I were a bit braver… I ’ m sure he has a girlfriend anyway, and if he doesn ’ t, he ’ s probably a complete douche. My phone rings, and for some reason, the volume is maxed. *Killing Loneliness* by HIM starts blasting out of my pocket. *Shit. * 
 
 I quickly grab my food and make my escape. But he noticed. I can feel his eyes burning a hole in my back. How embarrassing. I hide in the corner. I ’ m not hungry anymore. What an absolute mistake. Now he ’ ll think I ’ m a Goth or Emo or whatever. Guys like him probably despise brooders. 
 
 I sneak a peek at the bar. There he is, putting his arm around one of his buddies, laughing at some joke, and looking absolutely delicious. I wish I were n't such a train wreck when it comes to social situations. Oh, well. At least I can admire him from afar since he ’ s not ever going to look my– 
 
 “ Oh shit! ” He ’ s coming over. I never thought… 
 
 Quickly, I look down at my phone, trying to hide as best as one can at a nightclub table. In my periphery, I can see him sitting down opposite of me. Damn! I need something good to say, but my fingers are fumbling. 
 
 “ Hi there, ” he says. 
 
 “ Hi, ” I mumble shyly, without meeting his eyes. 
 
 IRC suddenly pops up. I ’ m sweating. I feel like Mom ’ s spaghetti is about to come out of every pocket. I have one shot – one opportunity. Without thinking, I read the first thing I can see on my phone. 
 ***** 
 < saltandcedar > Uhhhhhhh what counts as a vacation? 
 
 < Illseraec > your face 
 
 < Illseraec > cause it's paradise; ) 
 ***** 
 There is a moment of silence. Then he laughs. “ You ’ re funny. ” 
 ***** 
 < saltandcedar > omfg ills. 
 
 < KauyonKais > smooth++ 
 
 < CDrake > That's a seriously sick compliment. Like, massage oil over burn cream kinda sick. 
 ***** 
 Phew. I close my phone and look at him for the first time. He ’ s smiling. 
 
 “ Let ’ s go out sometime. ” 
 
 I can feel myself melting into a puddle on the chair. Please don ’ t mess this up, Lil. Just act normal. You can do this. 
 
 “ YES, PLEASE! ” *Shit! * How do I save this? “ Uh… I, uh, I mean… sure, if I have time… ” 
 
 And at that moment my phone rings. I nod at it, to underscore my business. Thanks, Phone. 
 
 ***** 
 My phone is still trying to be my wingman, so do n't be surprised if you get a text from me saying: *'' Subscribe to [ /r/Lilwa_Dexel ] ( https: //www.reddit.com/r/Lilwa_Dexel/comments/5foev0/welcome/ ). `` *
