[ WP ] You 're on a dinner date with Medusa

“ Blind dates are always interesting to watch, ” the waiter said to me. 
 
 “ See a lot of them, do you? ” I asked. 
 
 “ More than you ’ d think, ” he said. “ Lot of lonely ugly people out there. ” 
 
 “ So I hear, ” I said and heard him move around. 
 
 “ Do you want a drink or something while you wait for the lucky lady? ” The waiter asked. 
 
 “ Jack and ginger, ” I said. 
 
 The waiter must of just noticed my black out shades and the fact that I was staring straight and not giving him eye contact. 
 
 “ Wait, ” he said. “ Are you blind? ” 
 
 I nodded, behind me the kitchen door swung open and another waiter was carrying out a steak that smelled so good I got a little hard. 
 
 “ I am blind, ” I said. 
 
 My waiter laughed. “ Wow, that ’ s funny. ” 
 
 “ Because I ’ m blind and I ’ m on a blind date, right? ” 
 
 The waiter fell silent. “ Oh, shit. I didn ’ t even think of it like that. I just thought the blind thing was funny. But yeah, your thing is funny too, in a smart way. What ’ s that word I ’ m thinking of? ” 
 
 “ Ironic. ” 
 
 “ Yeah! Ironic, ” the waiter said. “ You ’ re a smart guy. And good news for you — “ 
 
 I could smell the perfume the second the door opened. I could hear her heals, each step powerful and confident, a walk that had no patience for anyone. 
 
 “ —she ’ s here, ” I finished the waiter ’ s sentence. 
 
 “ And she ’ s — “ he started. 
 
 “ —gorgeous. ” I said. 
 
 “ I ’ m gon na get you that drink, ” he said. `` You're gon na need it.'' And he was gone. 
 
 Her heals approached and stopped, and I could feel her over me. And I could hear this low hissing noise coming from her. Was she hissing at me? “ James, right? ” 
 
 “ That ’ s me, ” I said and stood. 
 
 “ Can ’ t look me in the eyes, Jim, ” she said flatly. 
 
 “ Sorry, ” I tried to redirect myself to her best I could and extended my hand. She shook it, firm and rough. Slender fingers that were in desperate need of moisturizer. 
 
 “ Medy, ” she said. 
 
 “ Medy, ” I repeated and we finished shaking. “ Beautiful name. ” 
 
 We sat and the waiter came back with my drink. I could still hear the hissing coming from Medy. She smelled beautiful, but something odd and unfamiliar came from her. I was, in full honestly, turned on and afraid. 
 
 “ I ’ ll take a snakebite, ” she said. 
 
 “ I ’ m not — we don ’ t have — what is that? ” 
 
 “ Take a dark beer, mix it with a cider — snakebite. ” She said. 
 
 “ Okay, ” the waiters tone told me he was nervous. 
 
 “ I ’ ll get it from the bar myself, ” she got up and left. 
 
 “ Wow, ” the waiter huffed. “ Dude she is the most gorgeous and terrifying and intimating woman I ’ ve ever met. ” 
 
 “ What does she look like? ” I asked. 
 
 “ Hard to tell, ” the waiter said. “ She ’ s wearing these really big glasses and a hat like she ’ s at the Kentucky fucking derby. ” 
 
 “ So how do you know she ’ s attractive? ” 
 
 “ Her shoulders. She ’ s tall, thin, busty, like a fucking Greek statue, and — oh shit — was the bartender able to help you ma ’ am? ” 
 
 “ Fuck off, ” Medy said and sat down. 
 
 “ Of course, ma ’ am, ” the waiter crept away, and I like to think he rolled his eyes at me as he did. 
 
 “ So, first things first, ” Medy took a drink and leaned towards me. “ I hate blind dates. I hate dates. I hate dating. So here are the rules. We won ’ t have sex tonight. I won ’ t take my glasses off. You will pay for dinner. And I ’ ll decide if there ’ s a second date, ” 
 
 I stood up. “ Just because you ’ re beautiful, doesn ’ t mean you get to be a bitch, ” I said and extended my white-stick. I felt her breath steady with surprise. 
 
 “ You ’ re blind, ” she said. 
 
 “ Funny. I know. Blind date, I ’ m blind, ” I said and moved to step away. 
 
 She grabbed my arm. “ Sorry, no, I didn ’ t mean it like that. I didn ’ t realize you were blind. ” 
 
 “ Tough thing not to realize, ” I said. `` I ’ m wearing glasses at night.'' 
 
 She laughed and I heard her tap a plastic on her face. “ So am I. ” 
 
 “ You blind too? ” 
 
 “ I have my own set of issues, ” Medy said. “ Sit down back down. I ’ ll try to be less of a bitch. 
 
 “ Still be a bitch, ” I said and smiled. “ Just a little less. ” 
 
 I heard the hissing from her, and she laughed. 
 
 “ This is new for me, ” she said. 
 
 “ The blind date or the less bitchy? ” 
 
 “ The blind man, ” she said. 
 
 “ Good to know. ” 
 
 Just then there was a collision — someone bumped her back and she cursed, I heard her glasses fly off and bounce across the table. “ You moron, ” she snapped and suddenly I heard this ossifying noise, like a boulder smacked another boulder and then landed two feet away, shaking the ground. A panic swept the room and people screamed and shouted demon and other insane things. I sat there, confused and lost. 
 
 Medy huffed: “ Son of a bitch. ” 
 
 Then I heard the frantic running of one patron followed by the next suddenly snap to a stand still and thud. With each thud the room got more and more vacant of screams until, less then twenty seconds after the initial bump, everything was quiet. 
 
 “ Everybody ’ s got ta go, ” Medy said, sadly. “ Sorry, Jim, I thought I ’ d like you. ” 
 
 “ What do you mean? ” She pulled my glasses off. 
 
 There was silence. 
 
 “ You ’ re still here? ” She asked herself, shocked. 
 
 “ Where would I be? And what the hell just happened, where did everyone go? ” 
 
 Medy sighed. “ Bad fire drill, ” she lied and I'm not sure why. “ Let ’ s go get desert, ” I heard her slide her glasses on. “ It ’ s on me. ” 
 
 “ Ok, ” I said and she took my arm and lead me out of the restaurant in a weird zig-zag patter. “ Desert before dinner, that ’ s a fun first date. ” 
 
 “ First dates need all the help they can get, ” Medy said.
