[ IP ] Bittersweet Moonrise .

So I sit. As I always have sat. As I always will sit, here. 
 
 Although I know the consequences, I'm never able to keep myself from coming here. This is the darkest place I know, the most quiet, the most still. It is the one place that has n't changed much. Hours literally escape me as I stare out the smudged, fogged glass panes. All I can do is reminisce, how clean and absolutely gleaming these windows once were. The entire city lives, breathes and moves on, while I sit here imagining what it would be like if I did none of those things. 
 
 Everything has changed since childhood. Not just in the typical sense where a person grows and matures, learning the world is truly cruel. The world around me has literally changed form. The air feels a bit more like needles within your lungs every time you inhale. The sunlight hits you in such a way... it feels like slowly your skin has started to boil. The nights sky has grown so dark and velvety that the streets and horizon blend into one, making stars indistinguishable from street lights. It seems each year the moon grows increasingly larger within the sky. I remember being a child and hearing news stories about elderly people reaching their 100th birthday. If I'm incredibly lucky, I might make it to see my 50th birthday. 
 
 I'm not very lucky, though. 
 
 So I break the rules. My entire family has been killed, so what do I have to continue going for? I come back here, even though it is outside of the Modified Living Zone. I ca n't help myself. When I come back here and sit for hours I can forget all the terrible years. The war, the famine, the uninhabitable lands that are all now abandoned... None of them exist when I sit here and let time slip by. This home is the last connection in existence to my old life. No one else ever seems to come back meaning minimal risk in getting caught, although the concern is always present in my mind. I do n't think anyone comes back because they are all dead. 
 At 33, I'm one of the oldest living citizens in our MLZ. Not many question me or my intentions and just leave me be, I'm just seen as the crazy old woman that would rather live in the Olden Days. 
 

