[ WP ] Aliens find us and think we are so tiny and adorable that they treat us like little pets , but for whatever reason we all love it

When I think about it in retrospect I would say that this all started with the cats. I'm fairly certain that history will report that the cats were the first earth beings to be contacted by the cozy ones. About a month before the cozy ones came to earth the cats started speaking the same languages as their owners. 
 
 It was a nice time. After a few days all parties adjusted to the change in communication and realized that it changed absolutely nothing about our relationships. In fact it only strengthened our preconceived feelings about our cats' personalities. A lot of them are just sarcastic assholes, it made watching tv together less lonely. 
 
 By week three most cat owners were spending more time with their cats than they ever had before. By week four cat owners were more or less completely isolated from their peers. 
 
 The cats still meowed sometimes. Any cat owner, who had long since memorized the different meows and what they mean would tell you that the meows that occurred after speech was obtained were entirely different than before. Some would argue that they did n't mean anything at all. My theory is that the cats were communicating with the cozy ones, relaying information about how we do things here on earth. I would n't be surprised to find out that cats were always spies sent by the cozy ones when they initially found earth in ancient times and they've just been bidding time for their true masters to return. 
 
 I have no way of knowing who else agrees with my theory about the cats. I have been more or less isolated from the other humans since the arrival of the cozy ones. That is why I'm hoping these blog posts get views. Unfortunately, from what I understand the cozy ones communicate with each other telepathically and thus have no use for having wifi or internet connections in their homes. 
 
 I must say that I do n't miss my old life all that much. I spent all of it working crazy hours in a tiny desk before picking up some fast food and cozying up with my cat and some HBO. Now, I spend about 50-70 % of my day in bed. My cozy one, who I call Carl for lack of any ability to understand what he calls himself, feeds me a smoothy in the morning and a burrito at night like clockwork. Sometimes, if he's feeling generous or if he leaves me alone for a long time he'll give me chocolate and/or weed as a treat. I never want for anything. 
 
 When he is in the house, Carl likes to watch me sleep, stroke my hair, and sing what I assume are songs in his native language. I am greatly amused by this. At night we snuggle together and I feel like I am being protected. 
 
 I do n't have to work, I wo n't go hungry, and I've very comfortable. Overall, I like that a cozy one has brought me away from the politics and hardships of earth living. I do feel lonely though. I wish I had someone who I could talk to, someone who understands me, who I can share my experiences and my dreams with. 
 
 I wish I was able to keep my cat, princess fluff.
