[ Wp ] Morgan Freeman , Leonard Nimoy , Liam Neeson , Nicholas Cage , and Chuck Norris sit down for some Dungeons and Dragons . ( You pick DM )

Walken: Well... You see... in *front* of you... a wrought iron door. There are intricate... *sconces*... lit on either side. 
 
 Neeson: I focus my chi and check if the door is trapped. 
 
 Walken: Liam... friend... you ca n't **check** for traps. You are a monk. You punch through walls and... occasionally... dispense cryptic *yet* insightful phrases... ok? None of this checking for traps nonsense... 
 
 Cage: \*shaking his hands briskly on either side of his head\* Ok, can any of us? Any at all, check this ominous door for traps. 
 
 Nimoy: Nick, I am sure your leopard could sniff out any trap ( he said with a wry smirk ). 
 
 Cage: She is a leopardess and her name is Tusella. ( he said in a haughty tone ) 
 
 Norris: Why does it matter? You never mention or remember it anyway... 
 
 Cage: It is important, to maintain the dignity of my amazon heritage. As a proud and noble warrioress performance artiste... 
 
 Freeman: Whaat? 
 
 Walken: Morgan, its ok... *really*. He took a level in... *dancer* of all things. And you **know** how.. characterization... can really enhance a session. Let it go... 
 
 Freeman: I still do n't think'warrioress' is a thing... 
 
 Neeson: ( looking up from his phone ) Google says it is. Or at least it was a movie of some sort... or a type of Russian helicopter part... apparently. 
 
 Cage: Chuck, ca n't you cast some razzle dazzle on this thing here? Detect Traps is a thing, right? 
 
 Norris: Yeah. Probably. Not one I know. Or memorized. I could tell you if it was magical though. 
 
 Cage: Oh, that might be a help. 
 
 Walken: It's not... magical. 
 
 Norris: What, I do n't get a roll or something? 
 
 Walken: No... it's an automatic spell. 
 
 Norris: How do you know? ( looking over his character sheet ) 
 
 Walken: Because its... Detect Magic... 
 
 Norris: It could be something different. 
 
 Walken: No... no.. it **can't** be something different... *because*... you are a **third** level wizard... and I picked your grimoire... for you. 
 
 Nimoy: What if its a cantrip? Detect mechanism or something. 
 
 Walken: Look... The door... it is n't trapped. It is n't even... *locked* really. I am sure our... burly... paladin could bust it in. I just think... we're spending too much time... on *dice* rolls, and missing out on... all the dramatic... *tension*. 
 
 Nimoy: My strength is dedicated only to justice and honor. It would be a disgrace to waste it on such an... earthly task. Also, it might scratch my armor. 
 
 Freeman: Leonard, I think the only reason you chose that class was because you took all last month to paint that silly plastic figurine. 
 
 Nimoy: It is n't silly... ( reaches under the table and pulls out an intricately painted 25mm figurine of a shining warrior ) It is a physical representation of the conceptual manifestation of my character. 
 
 Freeman: You know Chris wo n't back down on the'no miniatures' rule... 
 
 Nimoy: All I am saying is 5e really streamlines miniature comba... 
 
 Walken: ( leaning forward over the screen, eyes locked on Nimoy ) We... will... *never* speak of this... **blasphemy** again. I will be clear... perfectly clear... when I say that... never... not **ever** under this roof... will miniatures be... *used* in one of my sessions. 
 
 Cage: But you've played Necromunda... 
 
 Walken: ( glaring at Cage ) That is... Not... the point. That is a... just a very big **board** game. How... How.. can you even.. *compare* the two... You know what... and you brought this... this tragedy... on yourselves. The door. It is now trapped... It explodes... you all die. Roll up a new sheet... all of you... 
 
 Norris: Well, at least this time we actually got **inside** the dungeon...
