[ WP ] It 's New Years Eve . Your best friend died in September , you 've been robbed twice , your girl friend is leaving you , you 've just lost your job and the only one left to talk to is a gay burglar you 've got tied up in the kitchen . P.S . Your cat is dead .

`` I called the police,'' I tell the burglar. I should be afraid, my heart should race and pound in my chest, but I feel nothing. I still feel only nothing. I sit down on the sofa in front of him and stare cooly into his face. 
 
 `` Rough day?'' he asks. I could hear a tone of amusement in his voice. 
 
 I do not reply. Next, he begins singing mockingly. 
 
 *Oh dear, woe unto me* 
 
 *Life's as dreadful as can be* 
 
 *Cat's dead, gone's the spouse* 
 
 *There's a thief in the house* 
 
 *So I sit, pathetic, and cry... * 
 
 He pauses and says, `` Shall I end with'Eagerly waiting to die','Tell me God, why oh why' or'Yet this pain I do defy'?'' 
 
 `` I am not crying.'' 
 
 He arches an eyebrow and, his dark eyes shining with a strange intensity, says, `` Not yet. Would n't you want to, if you could...'' 
 
 `` No.'' 
 
 He pulls at his wrists, which I had tied with neon cord behind his back. `` When are the police coming? I'm dying of boredom here.'' 
 
 `` I apologize. Would you like a movie? Some music? How can I make this experience more pleasurable for you?'' 
 
 He laughs at my sarcasm. `` Talk to me.'' 
 
 `` What about?'' I decide to humour him. 
 
 `` Why are you home alone, on this glooooooorious day?'' He raises his voice dramatically. `` On the cusp of a new year. Do n't you long to be out there, fighting your way in the noisy, filthy, glorious pit that is life?'' 
 
 `` Why are you stealing people's possessions from their houses on this gloooooorious day?'' I ask, imitating his intonation. 
 
 The burglar winks at me. `` Who says I'm here to steal possessions.'' He laughs again. `` I like you, kid. You are no match for me, but I like you. I like your fire.'' 
 
 The buzzer rings. 
 
 `` You should get that,'' says the burglar. `` Alas, our time together is drawing to an end. Fate beckons.'' 
 
 I stand up and walk towards the front hall to allow the police officers into the building. 
 
 `` Always remember, it could be much worse,'' calls the burglar from the other room. `` If you do n't care when you lose it, you never truly had it in the first place.'' 
 
 I wait for the officers by my broken down front door. Together, we walk into the living room. The chair where I had tied the burglar is empty. The ropes are scattered on the floor. The window had been pulled wide open and my emerald curtains are billowing in the light breeze. 
 
 It is a while before the police depart. Once alone again, I grab a glass of water and sit down on the sofa, facing the empty chair. I feel a tear slide down my cheek. 

