[ WP ] You found out that your wife is a secret agent that was ordered to protect you because your offspring would become the saviour of mankind .

Laura holds my hand. 
 
 
 We met six years ago outside a Starbucks while I was struggling to balance six coffee cups on my way to the car. I missed a step while searching for my keys, & the next thing I knew, I was falling, spilling coffee everywhere. I hardly had time to grasp what was happening before someone caught me from behind. I looked up into a face with round cheeks & laughing eyes, & I knew I'd met someone special. 
 
 
 We did n't move quickly- we like to joke about my fall being our first date, but we did n't start seeing each other in earnest until months later. Our first evening togehter was a dinner full of laughter, smiles, & good wine. Her face lit up as we discussed everything from music to politics, & while we did n't have much in common, we both wanted to learn about what the other enjoyed. At a concert for my favourite band she managed to find tickets for at the last minute, we kissed for the first time. I felt like I was floating the rest of the night, & the warmth of her hand in mine made me feel safe for the first time I could remember. 
 
 
 We got married in late June last year, as did a lot of our friends. There were so many parties, gifts, & an outpouring of love from the community I'd never experienced before. I'd never even imagined marrying someone, but there I was, wedding band & all. Laura saved me. I grew up dreading that I'd always be alone, always looked down, always be afraid- but Laura showed me a different way to live. 
 
 
 The night I found the handgun & passports under the floor, we had the worst fight of our relationship. I knew she worked for the government, but she'd always said she was just a pencil pusher. I felt so betrayed. I'd told her everything; How I'd never fit in, how much I'd hated my body, how the operation & the treatments had set me free, how torn I was that I could never have a family of my own- & she was, holding my hand all over again, telling me these things about telomeres, & how I could be the answer to something humanity's only ever dreamt about, & all I could think was... Was everything a lie? 
 
 
 Was she picked for me by someone wearing dark glasses & a suit? By a committee in the Pentagon, all silver hair & jaded eyes? How long had I been watched? What parts of my life were private? How long did I have before someone came for me? And worst of all, did she even love me? 
 
 
 For a few weeks, I could n't be in the same room as her. We played musical chairs around the apartment, her chasing to the tune, & me always searching for a new place to sit. I tried explaining over & over that what she was talking about could n't work. I did n't have the plumbing anymore. I had n't frozen anything. `` We have ways around that,'' she'd say. `` We've been working on this a long time,'' & it would unravel from there. Eventually, I could n't stay in the apartment. I left & wandered around our neighbourhood. I looked at houses I'd once thought I'd move into with Laura & felt like there was a hole in my chest. I just kept moving. 
 
 
 They came for me in the dog park. Bright headlights from an unknown car blinded me as someone struck me from behind. My vision blurred & I fell to the ground, gasping for air, trying to focus. As they grabbed my wrists & pulled me towards the car, something streaked out of the trees. It slammed into the person grabbing me & knocked them over. I heard the sounds of people fighting as I struggled to crawl in another direction. The night exploded around me with gunfire, & I curled up & covered my head, trying to make myself as small as possible. 
 
 
 When the noises stopped, I kept my eyes closed until someone grabbed me again. I screamed & flailed, trying to escape, but Laura was whispering in my ear that everything was fine now. That no-one would try to take me from her again. More cars showed up & she slipped me into that back of one before climbing in with me. `` They're taking us somewhere safe,'' she assured me. `` You can trust them.'' Exhausted & stressed beyond comprehension, sleep claimed me before I could respond. 
 
 
 There have been many apartments since then. Many cities & small towns we've fled from, leaving friends & identities behind. Every time, they find us. Every time, we run. I have n't agreed to anything Laura's agency has planned. I want children, I do, but how could I raise a kid like this? What would a life like this, parents like Laura & I do to a child- & that's without bringing what she believes is possible into the equation. 
 
 
 I wake up at night in our bed sweating, unable to recognize the room around me or the view outside the window. I struggle in broad daylight to conceal the fact that I'm expecting an attack from all sides. I sit with my back to a wall & with a view of the exit when we eat out, & the fact that I work in a cubicle these days sometimes feels like a death sentence. 
 
 
 But Laura holds my hand. When she does that, the world fades away. There's spilled coffee, & smiles, & music, & laughter. There's relief that i'm not alone. That I'm loved by someone so strong & so caring. That she wo n't ever leave me. 
 
 
 Laura holds my hand. 
 
 
 And when she does, I know things will get better. 
 
 
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 Edit: [ Hey look, it's more shit I've written ] ( https: //rhiowrose.wordpress.com/ ).
