[ WP ] Since the dawn of time , human souls have been used as currency in hell . However , the modern era has brought a new problem to the depths of hell : Inflation .

`` Bloody Hell, really?'' 
 
 The imp shrugged. `` Not my problem, I use the same charts come across the smoke signals every week, same as everyone else what's sellin, same as everyone else what's buyin.'' he said in his animated little growl. `` It's the same bloody drink an- `` 
 
 `` No,'' said Azazel, `` I meant, I did n't realise it was that bad.'' 
 
 `` Do you want it or not?'' 
 
 `` Fine,'' Azazel replied, and threw the twenty over for the pint of blood. He carried it deftly back across The Two Horns, avoiding the eyes of the gorgon who'd been haunting him for the better part of that month. He slid back down onto the bench and regarded the pint in front of him, still trying to work out whether he'd been deceived. 
 
 `` Something wrong with the sauce, son?'' Mephisto nudged his elbow with the question, bringing Azazel out of his trance. 
 
 `` Cost me twenty, that did.'' 
 
 `` Same as mine.'' 
 
 `` Yea. What I'm saying is, pints cost twenty now?'' 
 
 `` You have n't been up in a while have you mate?'' 
 
 `` Well, I'm not the salesman like you, Meph,'' said Azazel, allowing his annoyance to carry over into the conversation. `` I did my job and now I'm done.'' 
 
 `` Expecting a better return on investment, were you?'' 
 
 `` I suppose. How many of them are there now?'' 
 
 `` Bout, 7? Bit more.'' 
 
 `` Christ.'' 
 Mephisto laughed. `` I know man. Soon it'll cost less to just go up and buy a pint there.'' 
 
 `` I mean, are they doing anything about it? You're the economist. I mean. I wo n't be able to afford coming here soon.'' 
 
 `` Not much they can do,'' Mephisto said as he combined a sip and a shrug, `` Pandae keeps moanin on about whatever they can, but they and everyone else have been realising how long they've been caught twiddling their tails. Basically, right at the same time the population began to explode, which was coz of the industrial revolution, basically, Heaven put in these new policies that are just now starting to pay off.'' The salesman inside him was getting excited now, which was the cause of the rambling. Loved to have something complicated to explain, especially when it involved spiritual currency. `` They've been long-conning us, for sure. We thought we'd had the whole thing wrapped up what with the whole human race being born into damnation. But with predestination, that made everyone work as hard as they could to convince themselves they were predestined. And Heaven was able to skim off the top and send the rest to us, and we thought, sounds like a pretty good deal. Now we're realising that quantity is not better than quality. What they've managed to do is send Hell's entire economy downwards, pardon the expression. While Pandaemonium tries to keep everything organised from the center and our dear leader and only a handful of other demons holding any real power, the rest of us are suffocating under the weight of all the souls coming in. It makes it impossible to get anything done.'' He paused for a breath and to wet his whistle. 
 
 `` One question. Dear Leader?'' 
 
 `` Oh. Borrowed that from Earth, ha.'' 
 
 `` So you're saying Hell has been made moot then. We're as good a graveyard as any? We have no power anymore and anyone who wants to can save themselves. AND there's absolutely no way of turning it around while Heaven is dictating terms.'' 
 
 Mephisto swallowed a draught, `` Basically.'' 
 
 Azazel looked back at his pint as if it might be one of the last he'd ever have. Mephisto watched him, his eyes glinting. `` BUT there's one last thing.'' 
 
 `` What's that?'' 
 
 `` Well you know how Satan kept making sure of that whole'As Above, So Below' thing? Since the very beginning.'' 
 
 `` Yea.'' 
 
 `` Well, when I think about it, I think there's a reason for that. I think the Devil's been long-conning from the very start.'' Mephisto could barely contain himself. `` It explains why Hell's always had a planned economy while Heaven's led the way with their market system. He's been fine with Heaven dictating terms because he knew exactly what they'd do. He's played his cards close to the chest, and if I've guessed his hand right, he's just missing the Ace for a royal flush.'' 
 
 `` Which is....?'' 
 
 `` Antichrist. THE Antichrist.'' 
 
 `` What good will that do?'' 
 
 `` Not good, Azazel!'' He was practically shaking. `` Bad! The worst! The Apocalypse! He's waiting as long as he can, by which point he'll have the biggest army even possible. Then he'll nominate the Antichrist, send out a couple False Prophets, and Earth is ours! We're goin up, baby! Cheers!!''
