[ WP ] You 're on a quest to collect legendary magical items , but ﻿the gods thought it was hilarious to make ﻿the most powerful items ﻿the most tacky and ridiculous looking .

I stared at the dick shaped pillars, `` The spear of Z'thluth, you have to be fucking kidding me.'' I stared at the cavernous space then walked into the center of the four pillars, in the center was a pedestal with a stone dildo on it. `` This is fucking ridiculous,'' I muttered as I picked it off of the pedestal. As soon as I lifted it up I knew I made a mistake as the ground started shaking, `` Welp, the party has started.'' I pulled a pink mask out of my bag and put it on, I then kicked off my shoes and put on a pair of bright orange ugg looking boots. `` I look fucking idiotic.'' That is when I saw something that looked even worse. I bright flaming pick My Little Pony walked out of the entrance that I had come in second ago, it let out a... meow. `` Well mabye it looks worse then me. I have this in the bag.'' Then it breathed fire at me, thankfully I was kind of ready as time slowed down and the pink mask glowed more, the uggs sparkled and rainbows boosted me in the air. I landed on the Pony's backside and drived the dildo up its ass. When the tip in the dildo was sucked fully in. `` What the fuck?'' I muttered. The Pony kicked me off and I was slammed against the wall. I saw the Pony looming over me when a look of sheer pain spread across its face. It was then that the Pony exploded in a splatter of guts and more leaving nothing more than a massive over sized dildo on the floor. `` Well damn,'' I said as it shrunk down to a regular dildo, I picked it up put all my gear in my bag and started to walk out of the room. That's when my phone buzzed. `` Now what?'' I muttered. I looked at the picture showing a red teddy bear with the caption `` Turns in to Ursa.'' `` Alright,'' I sighed `` time to get another one.''
