[ WP ] Write the story where the character loses gear , friends , family , levels , stats . They start off with a house , shining armour and the magical sword , and end up facing the big bad starving , with rags and a knife .

“ NOW HERO YOU FACE YOUR FINAL DESTINY. I THE DARK LORD OF.... HOLY HELL MAN, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!? ” 
 
 
 “ Huh? Nothing. Let ’ s do this. ” 
 
 
 “ SERIOUSLY YOU LOOK TERRIBLE. ” 
 
 
 “ Tough enough for you... ya ugly… ” 
 
 
 “ UGLY? ME, KID, I ’ M A HALF-OGRE MONSTROSITY IN RUSTED SPIKE ARMOR AND COMPARED TO YOU I AM THE PRETTY ONE IN THIS FIGHT. ” 
 
 
 “... ” 
 
 
 “ REALLY, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU DIVED HEAD FIRST OFF A PINE TREE AND HIT EVERY BRANCH ON THE WAY DOWN. FACE FIRST. TWICE. ” 
 
 
 “... I ’ ve had rough day. ” 
 
 
 “ ROUGH DAY? NO A SALESMAN WITH ROTTEN FRUIT HAS A ROUGH DAY. A BALL PLAYER WITH THE YIPS HAS A ROUGH DAY. YOU LOOK LIKE A HERD OF BISON-BEASTS MISTOOK YOU FOR THE GROUND. ” 
 
 
 “... I may have hit some of the traps on the way in... ” 
 
 
 “ SOME OF THE TRAPS? ” 
 
 
 “... Most of the traps. ” 
 
 
 “... ” 
 
 
 “... okay, all of the traps. ” 
 
 
 “ THEY WERE PUZZLES! YOU SOLVE THEM AND THEY DON ’ T DROP GIANT SPIKY ROCKS ON YOU! ” 
 
 
 “ Well sure, I know that now… ” 
 
 
 “... ” 
 
 
 “ What? ” 
 
 
 “ YOU HAVE ISSUES KID. ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE THE HERO DESTINED TO FIGHT ME? I MEAN IS HE HIDING BACK THERE SOMEWHERE? I MEAN YOU DON ’ T LOOK LIKE MUCH OF A HERO. ” 
 
 
 “ So? ” 
 
 
 “ SO, YOU ’ RE NOT EVEN WEARING ARMOR… COME TO THINK OF IT WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? IT LOOKS LIKE A SACK. ” 
 
 
 “ It ’ s cloth armor. ” 
 
 
 “ IT ’ S A SACK. ” 
 
 
 “ It ’ s tough. ” 
 
 
 “ IT ’ S A SACK. YOU ARE WEARING A TORN UP POTATO BAG. THE THING IS AN EMBARRASSMENT AND IT LOOKS AS ROUGH AS A SAND SERPENT IN HEAT. ” 
 
 
 “ It ’ s not that bad. ” 
 
 
 “ YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WORLD ’ S DESTINED CHAMPION. DON ’ T YOU HAVE A SHINY SUIT OF ARMOR? I ’ M PRETTY SURE YOU WON ONE TWO DUNGEONS AGO. ” 
 
 
 “ Yeah… I uh… lost it. ” 
 
 
 “ LOST IT!? HOW COULD YOU LOSE IT!? IT WAS FORGED FROM ANCIENT DWARVEN SILVER! IT ’ S WORTH THREE AND A HALF KING ’ S RANSOMS! ” 
 
 
 “... mumble... bread... mumble… ” 
 
 
 “ BREAD!? YOU SOLD THE ANCIENT PLATE OF THE UNDER-KINGS FOR BREAD. ” 
 
 
 “... was hungry… ” 
 
 
 “ HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE SO HUNGRY THAT YOU ’ D SELL AN ANCIENT MAGICAL RELIC FOR A SANDWICH!? ” 
 
 
 “... didn ’ t have anything else… ” 
 
 
 “ HANG ON, YOU ’ VE BEEN LOOTING TREASURES AND REWARDS FROM LIKE SEVEN DUNGEONS NOW. ” 
 
 
 “ Lost it all. ” 
 
 
 “ WHAT ABOUT THE RING OF HEALING FROM THE FIRST DUNGEON? ” 
 
 
 “ Gave it to a girl I met in the fourth dungeon. ” 
 
 
 “ THE BOW OF SILVER FROM THE SECOND DUNGEON? ” 
 
 
 “ Broke in the third dungeon. ” 
 
 
 “ AH, WHAT ABOUT THE CHALICE OF GOLD FROM THE THIRD DUNGEON. ” 
 
 
 “ Hawked it for a downpayment on a coach and horses. ” 
 
 
 “ WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT? ” 
 
 
 “ Crashed. Horses were injured. Had to put ‘ em down. ” 
 
 
 “ WHAT ABOUT THE GIRL YOU RESCUED IN THE FOURTH DUNGEON? WEREN ’ T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE MARRIED OR SOMETHING? ” 
 
 
 “ Left me for a pirate. ” 
 
 
 “ OUCH. ” 
 
 
 “ Yeah. ” 
 
 
 “ THAT ’ S ROUGH MAN. OKAY YOU MUST HAVE KEPT THE BOOTS FROM THE FIFTH DUNGEON, IT ’ S THE ONLY WAY YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN ACROSS THE BURNING FLOOR IN MY ANTECHAMBER… NOPE, I SEE THE BLOODY BANDAGES ON YOUR FEET. YOU HAVE ISSUES KID. ” 
 
 
 “ meh. ” 
 
 
 “ WHAT ABOUT THE CASTLE THEY GAVE YOU FOR SLAYING THE WYVERN IN THE SIXTH DUNGEON. ” 
 
 
 “ She got it in the divorce settlement. ” 
 
 
 “ FRIK ’ N LAWYERS AM I RIGHT? ” 
 
 
 “ Yeah... ” 
 
 
 “ THE MAGIC CLOAK FROM THE SEVENTH DUNGEON? 
 
 
 “ Dog chewed it up. ” 
 
 
 “ YOUR FAITHFUL HOUND? ” 
 
 
 “ Choked on the cloak. ” 
 
 
 “ WOW THAT IS ROUGH. ” 
 
 
 “ yeah. ” 
 
 
 “ AT LEAST YOU STILL HAVE A FAMILY TO GO HOME TO RIGHT? ” 
 
 
 “ Nope, you burned down my village at the start of this quest. ” 
 
 
 “... I WALKED INTO THAT ONE DIDN ’ T I? ” 
 
 
 “ A bit. ” 
 
 
 “ TOUCHE. LOOK YOU DON ’ T SEEM LIKE YOU ’ RE ALL TOGETHER… HOW ABOUT THIS… I ’ M JUST GOING CALL IT FOR ME. I AM JUST GOING TO STEP AROUND YOU AND GO OUT AND CONQUER THE WORLD M ’ KAY? ” 
 
 
 “ I ’ m fine. Let ’ s do this… have at you. ” 
 
 
 “ WHAT… THE HECK… ARE YOU… HOLDING? ” 
 
 
 “... s ’ a knife. ” 
 
 
 “ IT ’ S A POTATO PEELER. ” 
 
 
 “... knife. ” 
 
 
 “ IT ’ S RUSTY. ” 
 
 
 “... more dangerous that way. Have at you. ” 
 
 
 *SIGH* “ I AM NOT EVEN GOING TO ASK WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SWORD. THIS IS JUST TOO DEPRESSING TO THINK ABOUT. ” 
 
 
 “ Hiyaa! ” 
 
 
 “ STOP. ” 
 
 
 “ Ya! ” 
 
 
 “ JUST STOP. YOU ’ RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. ” 
 
 
 “ I ’ m gon na win... You ’ re going down. ” 
 
 
 “ LOOK I ’ M AN EVIL OVERLORD. YOU ’ RE A HERO. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE SOME EPIC BATTLE SOME GRAND PROPHESIED DESTINY TO DETERMINE THE FATE OF THE WORLD, BUT LOOK AT YOU. YOU ’ VE GOT NOTHING. NO ARMOR, NO WEAPON, NO FRIENDS, NO LOVE TO FIGHT FOR. YOU HAVE NOTHING. YOU DON ’ T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST ME. I COULD LITERALLY KILL YOU WITH ONE HAND TIED BEHIND MY BACK AND AT THIS POINT IT WOULDN ’ T EVEN BE HARD. COMING HERE WAS AS IDIOTIC AS IT WAS SUICIDAL FOR YOU AND YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST LIE DOWN AND LET ME PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR MISERY. ” 
 
 
 “ No. ” 
 
 
 “ SERIOUSLY I THINK I ’ LL JUST KILL YOU AND THEN- ” 
 
 
 “ No! I may not be the hero anyone imagined. But I am, face to face with you, standing under the same stone ceiling breathing the same dank air. I may be a dead man walking but I ’ m going to take you down Dark Lord. I ’ m going to save the world! Because there is something inside me that won ’ t end when I do. Something that will live on even if you kill me. And that ’ s why Dark Lord, I am going to defeat you. Here in this little sanctum deep underground with its musty unfiltered air, with only the ragged breath in my body I ’ m going to beat you with the only thing I have left, one thing no one could take get out of me, no matter how hard they tried. ” 
 
 
 “ YOUR COURAGE? ” 
 
 
 “ Nope, smallpox. ” *cough* 

