[ WP ] `` Do n't you see ? War is the only option . ''

Johnson was always a little quicker at it than the rest of us, but everybody in the Situation Room still stared at him dumbfounded as he reached his conclusion. This could n't possibly be right. 
 
 `` Maybe if we attempted a diplomatic solution through Sweden?'' asked Vickers hopefully. 
 
 `` Ca n't,'' said Johnson. `` Rule 4: If Sweden is trading with Germany, they can only be at war with France, and by Rule 2 if Sweden is at war with France then diplomacy with Sweden is n't possible.'' 
 
 `` But if we're trading with Japan, by Rule 23 that's supposed to mean peace with Vietnam and Senegal, which by Rule 47 means trade and diplomacy with Sweden!'' protested Vickers. 
 
 `` I'm afraid you have your formal logic backwards, my friend,'' said Johnson gently. `` The conditional statement is'there will be no peace with Vietnam and Senegal unless there is trade with Japan', which tells us that if we are at peace with Vietnam and Senegal then we must be trading with Japan. It is entirely possible, however, that we can trade with Japan and still be at war with Vietnam and/or Senegal.'' 
 
 `` Son of a BITCH!'' shouted the President. `` Have we discussed this with NATO?'' 
 
 `` Sir, we actually amended the NATO charter to allow no fewer than two, but no more than five, allies to join a coalition. Greece will join if, but only if, Spain does, but Britain and Spain can never be part of the same coalition. Poland must contribute more troops than Romania, but fewer than France, and Poland and Turkey can not be next to each other in a sequential list of number of troops contributed.'' 
 
 `` What the fuck does that mean?'' said the President. 
 
 `` We're, um, actually still trying to figure that out. Erikkson thought he had it, but his solution had Latvia and the Netherlands conscripting troops on consecutive days, which I'm sure we're all aware is not allowed.'' 
 
 `` And where's the United Nations on all this?'' 
 
 `` Well, sir, here's where I'm afraid it gets tricky...'' 
 
 `` Dammit, man, you know we only have a half an hour for this section! We're going to have to go with Johnson's solution, which is...'' 
 
 `` Sir, I'm afraid war is the only option.'' 
 
 I just sat in the corner drinking my coffee. I told them to use lawyers when they redrafted the Constitution, but they said the guys who wrote the LSAT were cheaper and pretty much the same thing anyway.
