[ WP ] Every sentient species in the universe receives a Jesus figure from God . It turns out humanity was the only species to torture and crucify him . You 're an ambassador priest informing the Inter-Galactic Holy Church what your species did .

`` We were led to understand it was necessary,'' my eyes were now fixed squarely on the floor in front of me, `` in order to redeem humanity.'' 
 
 A hush descended over the assembly, Golgon of the Asterath shape-shifters let out a low whistle. 
 
 `` And how was that supposed to work exactly?'' Asked High Priest LK4186. 
 
 `` Well...'' I began `` He was the lamb of God, whose sacrafice redeemed the Original Sin of Man. You know? Like how we all sacrafice animals to God to show our dedication to Him. This was like the ultimate version of that.'' 
 
 `` You do what!?'' Thundered Oloom the Blob. 
 
 `` Sacrafice animals at the temple, as offerings. Birds mostly, but lambs sometimes.'' 
 
 `` Lambs, as in baby sheep? But, but why?'' Asked Miranda highpriestess of the woolen-ones. 
 
 `` Well, we do n't really do it anymore.'' I answered honestly, `` So I'm not really sure, our ancient priests must've thought it was a good idea I guess.'' 
 
 `` So your ancient priests thought God would appeciate some of his wonderous creation being slaughtered...'' 
 
 `` And then burned'' I interjected. 
 
 High priest LK4186 slapped a tenticle against one of his foreheads. 
 
 `` Ok, I must be missing something,'' the high priest tried hard to keep his tone calm, `` what is this Original Sin thing you mentioned, maybe that'll give us a better idea. 
 
 `` You did n't have Original Sin?'' I looked round a room of shaking heads and other appendages. `` Well in the beginning of creation the first two of our species ate some fruit that was forbidden and then were ashamed because they were naked. So we kind of fell out with God for a while. 
 
 `` Your species is forbidden from eating fruit?'' Asked a perplexed Oloom. 
 
 `` No just this fruit, cause it gave us knowledge of good and evil.'' I explained. 
 
 `` That sounds like a good thing.'' Miranda reasoned. 
 
 `` Well, I, er, apparently it was n't.'' I said rather lamely. 
 
 `` Right so if I'm following you correctly,'' LK4186 continued, `` because you ate some fruit that you were n't supposed to and then became bothered about not wearing clothes you felt the need to kill, sorry,'sacrafice' God incarnate?'' 
 
 `` Well when you put it like that...'' I began. 
 
 `` How should I put it?'' Shot back LK4186. 
 
 My eyes were back on the floor in front of me, I could feel the stares of the assembled priests boring into the top of my skull. 
 
 `` No, I guess... I guess that's pretty much it.'' I mumbled. 
 
 `` And did it work? `` Asked LK4186 increduously. 
 
 `` What do you mean?'' I could tell LK4186, famed for being the most tranquil being in all creation was losing patience with me. 
 
 `` Has humanity been redeemed!? Have you achieved world peace and united all nations in love and adoration for the Supreme Creator?'' 
 
 `` Well that is very much our ambition.'' I offered lamely, `` There's been a few hiccoughs along the way, still quite a lot of war, and disharmony between religions.'' 
 
 `` You mean, there are still multiple religions even though God incarnate literally visited your planet and revealed himself and his teachings?'' 
 
 `` Well there is still some disagreement as to whether God in fact did that.'' 
 
 `` On our planet,'' Golgon now piped up, `` God incarnate still sits upon the throne of our high temple, dispensing wisdom and guidance, there is very little doubt as to what his will in fact is.'' 
 
 `` Yes, well as I said at the beginning.'' I was beginning to understand why I, a relatively junior priest had been sent on this intergalactic mission. `` We kind of killed ours, so, you know, it's all still a bit of mystery to us.'' 
 
 `` I'm sure it is!'' Exclaimed LK4186, `` A word of advice from a very old priest: Next time God drops in on your planet, and I honestly would n't blame him if that was never, maybe resist the temptation to nail him to some planks of wood until he suffocates.''
