[ WP ] You stand at the edge of the roof , the streets twenty stories below your feet . You do n't jump . Why ?

I hate heights. I hate other people around heights. I ca n't view images of high places without feeling nauseous. Yet, here I was, twenty stories high. 
 
 It was just me, now. I had really tried. There was n't anything else I could have done, but I felt like it was all my fault. I tried not to look down, I knew it would be over if I did. I held my body completely still, and rigid, teetering forward just a bit. I almost had n't stopped in time. I finally felt the balance shift inside of me, and I heaved myself backwards. My body's physical response to my phobia was overwhelming. I was shivering, hot and cold all at once. My stomach rolled, and I knew I could n't stand. I had never known before why I was so afraid of heights. The truth was worse than I thought. 
 
 I had first noticed the girl when I was scanning the room, looking for the source of the disruption. She stood off to the side in a crowded room. You could see that she was distraught, clearly, but no one ever looks close enough, do they. She had turned and with her head down, left the room without anyone noticing. I had a bad feeling about this for some reason. 
 
 I had reached the doorway she just exited, just in time to see her disappear in the stairwell. I remembered thinking maybe she was just leaving. Did n't want to see anyone so she took the stairs. But the stairs led to the roof, and it was high up there. Dangerous. 
 
 After reaching the door to the stairs, I had quietly opened the door, I do n't know why now, it's not like it was a secret stairwell. Maybe, I thought she would be standing there. Just needing a reprieve, a moment to gather her thoughts. She was n't there, but I heard the loud, stomping footsteps climbing the metal stairs. I waited until I heard the rooftop door open and close, then I ran up the stairs, two at a time, begging my god to be wrong about her purpose. 
 
 She was standing very close to the edge. I was about fifteen feet from her. Should I quietly edge over and grab her? What if she was just getting some perspective, and I was the desperate one here? I just had that feeling, though. That it was n't going to be a simple misunderstanding, and I would n't look like a cynical, paranoid fool. 
 
 I saw her step forward, and I called to her. She looked back and smiled sadly, then said, `` Its the only way to be even.'' Her last words. She had a low, smooth voice. Then she leaned forward and fell, arms outstretched. I had n't made it. I almost followed her. Now I know why I'm really afraid of heights. I ca n't trust myself.
