[ WP ] Being the Pokemon GO playing dork that you are , you 've wandered off into a remote area . You do n't find any worthwhile Pokemon -- but you do find a real monster .

I do n't care. I'll admit it. I almost wet my pants. 
 
 Almost. Do n't start writing those jokes just yet. 
 
 Ugh. Mom finally unlocked my phone, letting me on the unlimited data plan. Yup, no more WiFi only places for me. No more being limited to smelly stores that say `` Mystic members get % 10 off'' ( I miss Paddy's coffee. They would n't do that. They would have given discounts to everyone. Maybe that's why they closed? ) 
 
 I should have just stayed hunting at smelly stores. 
 
 How do I begin to describe this... monster? Beast? Uhhhmmm... I should have payed more attention in Mrs. Kholer's 4th grade class durring the creative writing unit. Or brought a thesaurus. 
 
 First, yeah, he ( she? He-she? It. I'm going to call it booger ). Booger was huge. I live in a two story house near my school. Booger could probably reach my limited addition Curry 2's my stupid brother threw up there. 
 
 Booger was purple, but shiny. Scales like Alex's bearded dragon, but no wings like a real dragon. There was hair on its back and tail. Dark green hair that looked bushy. 
 
 Claws. 
 
 Teeth. Sharp teeth. 
 
 Oh god. Booger is stomping toward me. What do I do... what do I do...? 
 
 Run? No. I ran away from my cousin's chihuahua once. I still have the scars on my ankle to show you that was a bad idea. 
 
 Look bigger! No. That's stupid. Even on my tippy toes I still look like a yummy McNugget to this monster. 
 
 Running out of time... Booger is getting closer... 
 
 Ahh! 
 
 
 
 
 Wait. That was it? 
 You're going to smell me, shake your head, and turn around!? 
 
 No roar? 
 No lick? 
 No opportunity to become friends and train you to eat that bully that makes fun of my backpack every. single. day. at. SCHOOL!?! 
 
 Oh no. You're not getting away that easy. I've already come to terms with never having super powers. Come back here! We're going to be friends or I'm going to die trying! 
 
 And you better hurry. Mom's making sloppy Joe's and if I'm going to be late for that, I'm going to need proof for this excuse!
