[ WP ] A girl meets a boy that changes her life forever . Her first kill .

She likes this part of the convent. It was quiet, free from the other sisters. It was easier to meditate here. She had a lot to meditate on. 
 
 Her life had n't been easy. She was born in a town whose name escaped her to parents who left her in a world where her value was determined by what was between her legs. 
 
 She had n't minded being a prostitute, not really. It was better than the uglier girls got, working on the streets to sell day old meat and rotten vegetables. Her room in the brothel had the same posters of movie stars that any other teenager her age had had. The only difference had been the constant stream of men- some she admired and some she had hated. The doctor who would tip her an extra ruble was her favorite- he would give her medicine or shots in exchange for favors. Her least favorite was the drunkard- he smelled like a fish and made her do disgusting things. 
 
 Of course, she had her issues too- the old women who would shake their heads as she walked past them on the streets or the men who would catcall her. She became dissatisfied with her life, with the shame she felt. She happened upon a church one day, and came in because it was quiet. No noises. Nobody looking at her. It was just her and her god there. 
 
 Her thoughts were interrupted by the large chapel door opening. Her head turned quickly toward the sound, and her eyes met those of an initiate priest. 
 
 He looked at her, startled, like a rabbit seeing a hawk. 
 
 `` Oh, I'm sorry, I um...'' 
 
 `` Please, it is fine.'' she responded calmly, in her best English. 
 
 The young man came over to the pew where she was kneeling, and stood next to her for a moment. 
 
 `` Um... may I...?'' he asked. 
 
 She nodded. 
 
 `` My name is Brother Peter.'' he introduced himself. 
 
 `` I am Sister Maria.'' she looked at him. His hand was outstretched, for what reason she did n't know. 
 
 His hand wilted after a moment, like a flower after a spring frost. 
 
 `` Your English is very good.'' he attempted at conversation. 
 
 She sighed, realizing that this man would not leave her be. `` I learned it here, in the convent. The Mother Superior is a Scot,'' she explained. 
 
 `` Oh. I was born in England.'' Peter sat down next to her. `` I'm supposed to be visiting a priest here, to evaluate if I'm ready to take my vows.'' 
 
 `` There are n't any priests in convents, unfortunately for you,'' she looked at him, studying him. He had earnest blue eyes, still wide and hopeful. `` Why are you here, Peter?'' she asked. 
 
 `` Um... I got lost.'' he began. `` Really lost. I was asking a man here how to find the monastery, but I did n't know the word for it, so I asked him where the house of the faith was. He lead me here. It's too rainy to go back out on the road, so the Mother Superior said I could stay the night here.'' 
 
 `` The mother is a kind woman.'' Maria responded. 
 
 `` So what's your story?'' 
 
 `` My... story?'' She asked. 
 
 `` Why are you a nun?'' he asked, trying to contain an almost childlike curiosity. 
 
 `` I am a nun because I found God.'' she told him. 
 
 `` Your order... they take the names of saints, right?'' he asked. 
 
 `` Yes, that is true.'' 
 
 `` Yours is Maria. Like Maria Gorietti?'' 
 
 `` Yes.'' 
 
 `` Um... the that was...'' his voice dropped to a whisper. `` Raped?'' 
 
 Maria looked away. `` Yes.'' 
 
 ``... why?'' 
 
 Maria was taken aback, both by the man's rudeness, and by the fact he seemed to care. Even in the convent the other sisters judged her for who she was before. Peter did n't seem to be asking her in a mean way, at least she felt. 
 
 `` I was a different woman before I came here. A prostitute.'' 
 
 `` Really? Wow.'' he studied her for a moment. `` I mean, you are very pretty, but I have never heard of a nun that was a prostitute.'' 
 
 `` Not many are.'' 
 
 `` Is that why you picked Maria as your name? Because of what the men did to you?'' 
 
 Maria was offended by his nosiness, but for some reason not angry. She felt... safe? He was n't going to hurt her. 
 
 `` Maria chose to forgive her rapist. I did the same to my customers. She wanted everyone to find peace with God. She forgave the ultimate sin. I admire her strength.'' 
 
 Peter was silent for a moment. `` I'm sorry to ask. I sometimes say too much.'' 
 
 `` It's okay, I do n't mind.'' Maria told him. `` Why do you talk so much?'' 
 
 `` I get... Well I get nervous, see?'' he explained. `` I'm the son of a governor...'' 
 
 `` Governer?'' 
 
 `` It's a very important man, who works for the king.'' 
 
 `` Ah, I understand.'' 
 
 `` Anyways, I have two older brothers. They're both smart and well spoken and confident.I'm not like them, and people expected me to be. I get nervous.'' 
 
 `` Is that why you became a priest?'' Maria asked. 
 
 `` Yes. I wanted to escape the?.'' he nodded. `` I wanted to make my own life, without making my father look bad.'' 
 
 `` That is true for both of us, then.'' Maria nodded. 
 
 `` You wanted to escape? Why?'' 
 
 `` Do you know anybody who respects a prostitute?'' Maria asked. 
 
 `` Point taken.'' he nodded. 
 
 It was silent for a while. They both stared straight ahead at the crucifix pinned to the altar. 
 
 `` Maria?'' he asked. 
 
 `` Yes?'' 
 
 `` I respect you.'' 
 
 Maria looked at him again. Nobody had ever said that to her before. Not once in her life. `` Thank you.'' 
 
 Peter looked out the window. The rain had not let up, but it was somewhat darker now. `` I suppose it must be close to suppertime.'' he said. 
 
 `` It must be.'' 
 
 `` Shall we go?'' he asked. 
 
 `` You should go. I want to pray the last of my rosary before I go to dinner.'' she said. 
 
 Maria came into the common area sometime later. She could smell the stew boiling. Her stomach rumbled. She went up and got a bowl, and looked for a place to sit. 
 
 She noticed her new friend was sitting in the middle of a gaggle of nuns. They were giggling like schoolgirls, excited to have a man there. 
 
 `` Oh! Maria!'' he called, beckoning her over. The girls stopped giggling and looked at her. `` Please Maria, come sit with us!'' he called. 
 
 ``... I think I will eat in my quarters tonight.'' Maria told him. 
 
 `` Do n't talk to her, Peter. She is a... how you say... a prostitute.'' Sister Joan told him. 
 
 Maria froze. 
 
 `` She is n't that anymore! She's a nun, just like you!'' 
 
 `` She is n't one of us.'' Joan told him. `` She's filthy.'' 
 
 `` She's my friend!'' 
 
 `` Peter, please.'' Maria told him, fighting back tears. `` It's okay.'' she put her bowl of stew on the table. `` I'm not hungry anyways.'' 
 
 Maria ran to the chapel, her face wet from crying. The rain had stopped, but the chapel was still empty. She sat down and sobbed into her sleeves. 
 
 She felt a hand on her shoulder after some time. 
 
 `` Oh!'' she jumped back, startled. Nobody had touched her in... how long? Weeks? Months? 
 
 `` Maria.'' Peter stooped down to her level. `` Maria, I'm so sorry.'' 
 
 `` It is not your fault.'' Maria looked at him, wiping her tears away. `` I'm happy you stood up for me.'' 
 
 `` You do n't deserve to be treated like that. You're a good person, Maria.'' 
 
 Maria noticed how his eyes reflected the night sky behind them. The moon was half full, and it made the blue of his irises seem dark and contemplative. 
 
 Maria did n't understand why she felt the need to, but she reached up and kissed him. 
 
 Peter was surprised, to say the least. He did n't pull back, and this kiss grew deeper. 
 
 Why was she doing this? This would ruin her already shaky image. But she did n't care, she just wanted to thank him for his kindness in the only way she knew how... 
 
 After a few hours, it was done. Peter was snoring softly on her chest, but Maria was wide awake. 
 
 She could n't go back out into the world again. They only saw her as a prostitute. She was no little girl, she knew that Peter would not be rescuing her from this life- he was a governor's son, and she had a feeling the man was more concerned with the image of his son than happiness. 
 
 Maria's only place was in the convent. Her life was there. She was n't truly happy, but it was the only way she could create a new image for herself. 
 
 Peter... he was running from the world, just like she was. They both wanted to be free. 
 
 How could the rabbit eyed man have gotten into her heart so easily? Maria was horrified with herself. She was a woman of God, a bride of Christ! 
 
 Maria had a sudden, terrible idea. `` Peter, wake up.'' she shook him. 
 
 His eyes fluttered open. `` Yes, my love?'' 
 
 Oh no. This one would n't give up on her. He loved her, she could see that. He would n't leave her alone. This was all too fast. 
 
 `` Peter I want to show you something.'' she pulled him up. 
 
 Peter rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and grasped her hand. `` Anything.'' 
 
 They snuck out of the convent rather easily. It was late, and the whole town was at rest. Maria lead Peter toward the edge of town. 
 
 `` Wow, this is beautiful, darling.'' Peter walked toward the border. `` I saw that the town was built on a cliff, but I had no idea you could see the ocean from the here!' 
 
 He stepped closer to the edge, enraptured by the moon. Maria moved quickly behind him. 
 
 `` Father, forgive me for my sin.'' she stared at the stars. 
 
 `` What?'' Peter asked. Before he could turn around, Maria flung her arms against him, knocking him off balance. 
 
 He fell off the edge and tumbled toward the craggy shoreline below. 
 
 Maria heard the scream, and then a sickening crack. 
 
 Peter was dead. 
 
 Maria felt a mix of emotions- relief, sadness, pain, exhilaration, and almost sickeningly, enjoyment. 
 
 She ran back to the convent as fast as her legs could carry her. What had she done? 
 
 Maria burst into the chapel, panting. She slid against the very pew where she had been kneeling not even a day ago. 
 
 She realized she was not a nun, not in her heart. She was n't a prostitute either. This was her first action, her first act if free will that she could remember. 
 
 Why did she feel so happy? She was a murderess! 
 
 *Murderers have freedom, though. They have real power. *, she thought. 
 
 Is this what made her happy? Was this her calling? 
 
 *Your first kill. * 
 
 `` The first of many,'' she nodded. 
 
 
 
 
 
 

