[ WP ] A world where white lies you tell children in order for them to behave are real .

It's my tenth birthday... and I honestly do n't know what I want. I'm talking this over with my best friends George, Bert, and Melody. They're not very helpful, but what else can I do? 
 
 `` You could ask for gloves?'' George says. `` That's what I'm asking for for my birthday.'' 
 
 `` But Wally does n't have a problem with touching himself, Bigfoot!'' Bert goes, half talking, half giggling. The rest of us join in the laughter. We call George Bigfoot because of how hairy his hands are. My older brother Chap is worse than George though... he's gotten to the age where he constantly gets white goop on his hair... thankfully mommy bought him gloves a long time ago. 
 
 `` Shut up, Bert!'' 
 
 Melody, sitting on the bench next to the ground where the rest of us are sitting, swings her feet around and says. `` You could always ask for a puppy!'' 
 
 `` I was thinking that,'' I said, `` but the only dog I'd ever want is Eddie's dog... but he's at the happy animal farm now... I doubt he'll want to come back from that place... he seems so happy when I visit him.'' At this point, I'm trying so hard not to stare up Melody's skirt as her underwear is visible whenever her legs go up. I can tell George is not being as successful as me. 
 I think I might love Melody... but I do n't want to tell her. Last week, Ricky and Susie said that they loved each other very much, and then the next day, Susie is bringing a baby to school... as much as I do n't mind kids, I do n't think I'm ready for them... Whenever I see a freaking stork, I run as fast as I can. 
 
 `` Cake!'' Bert suddenly blurts out. `` You could always ask for cake!'' 
 
 `` Not a chance.'' I say. `` The very next day, it'll go bad, and my parents will have to throw it out again just like all of my halloween candy.'' The only thing worse than the smell of Chaps hands after he comes out of his room is the smell of two-day-old sweets. Scientists have tried to find ways to elongate the life of cake and ice cream, but it always goes bad after a day or two. 
 
 `` Not the cake my mom gets!'' says Bert. `` Her cake always last a week!'' He's lying of course... not only is it common knowledge that cake does n't last that long, but his ears have turned bright red. 
 
 `` Whenever I do n't know what I want,'' said Melody, `` I always ask God to tell me.'' 
 
 `` Stupid!'' Bert shouts, `` You do n't ask God for things... you pray to Santa for things. God is for praying for your sins.'' Bert is right... and you better make sure to pray to God. Last night, Gregg was mean to his sister, and did n't ask for forgiveness... now the Boogie Man has kidnapped him. 
 
 `` You could always ask for me for your birthday?'' said Melody. Her legs stop swinging. 
 
 My face turns bright red as Bert and Bigfoot look at me in wild hilarity. I tell her that I do n't want her for my birthday... her face begins to look sad... 
 I've figured Melody loves me... and I've been trying so hard not to love her back... I do n't wan na be a dad, not at nine years old! 
 
 
 So here I sit again... still not knowing what I want... like I said... my friends are n't very helpful.
