[ WP ] You discover that every time you climax , $ 10,000 dollars is deposited into your bank account , and you are 24 hours away from owing a $ 300,000 ransom .

Luckily I live in a country where Cialis does n't require a prescription. I fire off a load to get some money and go down to the pharmacy. I grab some of that magical infinite boner medication and immediately pop 20mg down the hatch. I rush back home and start pounding one out. I pound and I pound and then I pound some more. Nothing. Its like a fucking redwood down there, Tori Black is going to town on 2 dudes and 3 chicks on my screen, and I still cant climax. Its been 40 minutes of hard fast pounding action and still nothing. I'm starting to get tired. I need to get off 29 more times. I am starting to think that there is NO way I can do this and the Cialis has somehow kept me from being able to climax. Dammit, why could n't I be a woman with a vibrator? This would be so much easier!!! 
 
 Two more hours pass, I manage to get off only once and even then it was so pathetic that only $ 5000 was put into my account. 28.5 more to go. On the bright side, I now know that I'd pretty much be the John Henry of hammering muff right now. I manage to eek of 1 more over the next hour and then pass out from exhaustion. 
 
 I wake up about 8 hours later after having the most screwed up dreams. I'm pretty sure I went cave diving and tried to have sex with the cave. My head feels like it is about to explode and my dick feels like it is about to split open from all the blood rushing to it. Between the pressure and being rubbed raw I can hardly touch it. 
 
 I lay in bed half naked sobbing with a red dick in my hand. I'll never be able to do it. I'm going never going to be able to pay that ransom. I look at the clock, only a few hours left anyways. I decide I'm just going to down the block to the diner and eat one last pie. I try to enjoy the pie but its hard to think of anything other than fucking it and every other item of food in the whole restaurant. Its like I'm 13 again, but not an idiot. Ok, maybe a little bit of an idiot to get myself into this whole mess. 
 
 My watch starts to beep. Its been 24 hours. I go outside and head around back, the place where the kidnappers said to meet with the money. The have a strange looking woman handcuffed next them. 
 
 `` Who the fuck is that?'' I ask. 
 
 `` Whadda mean who the fuck is this? Its your fucking slam.'' 
 
 `` I have never seen this woman before in my life. Sorry.'' 
 
 I turn around and walk away. I hear them screaming behind me but I say nothing. You see, it was in that moment, my head pounding and my dick aching, that I realized how much I hated that bitch. As I reenter the dinner, I hear a loud bang from around back. I ca n't help but smile as I approach the waitress to ask for her number. Sue did always hate how much I checked her out. Besides, maybe she could help me make some money.
