[ IP ] We Should Take the Other Road

`` I think they're kind of cute.'' That was Liz. 
 
 `` I think they look official. Which means they're there for a reason.'' That was Matt. 
 
 `` I think they're distracting while I'm trying to drive.'' That was me. 
 
 The item in question? Some gag signs that someone had put alongside the road. They looked almost official. Sturdy steel posts holding triangular signs. White with a red border, with some kind of... thing... in the middle. It looked a bit like a blob with tiny wings or forearms and antlers. They had started appearing as soon as we'd turned left a few miles earlier. After two days, my phone was finally and completely dead, and the charging cable I kept in my car had a short. So we took a guess, and figured as soon as we saw a place to stop and ask for directions, we'd find out whether we'd taken the right turn or not. 
 
 The evening was approaching and the sun was sinking behind the mountain. Snow had been drifting down for the last hour, and by now, just enough had accumulated that the world outside was becoming quiet. For the most part, we were tired after the camping trip. Heat came through the car's vents, and the windows were cracked just enough to keep some fresh air flowing. Not gas-efficient, but pleasant. 
 
 I rounded a corner and slammed on the breaks. The back of the car was silent, as we all saw the same thing. I put the car into `` park'' as we surveyed the scene. To the right, a car lay on its back. In front of us the foilege rose along the sides of the road, becoming more dense. And there was something moving. 
 
 I was frozen in fear. Whatever it was was about seven feet tall and covered in white fur. And it was moving towards us. I tried to find the gas pedal, but forgot the car was in park. The engine revved as the thing grabbed the window with surprisingly human hands. 
 
 `` Oh, thank God you're not running!'' The creature was shaking. `` I've not seen them this mad in years, and I ca n't keep them restrained. We have got to get down the ranger's office.'' 
 
 `` Who are you?'' That was Liz. 
 
 `` What are you?'' That was Matt. 
 
 `` What are YOU running from?'' That was me. 
 
 As if in answer, dozens of pairs of white lights blinked on through the bushes, and they began to move. 
 
 The creature outside my window leaned forward again. `` Uh... needless to say, I'm... well, I'm commonly known as'Bigfoot', but that's besides the point. It's my job to keep the Wildbush in check. I ca n't any more! Oh, please let me in and let's get down to the Ranger's office!'' 
 
 There was a crash and a moan from the left. A giant mound of earth and moss, with branches coming from its head like antlers stumbled from the side of the road. It raised mossy arms red with blood and began to lumber towards us. 
 
 I hit the unlock. Bigfoot got in, shouldering Matt to the side. 
 
 `` Why on earth did you ever turn left anyway?'' He asked as I finally got the car turned around and began speeding back along the road. 
 
 I grunted. `` We did n't know which way to go, so we voted. For the record, I said we should take the other road.''
