[ WP ] With unemployment rates skyrocketing to new heights , the government has begun creating new , arguably useless jobs in an attempt to revitalize the economy and lower the unemployment rate .

`` Here you go!'' I handed Delia the stapler. Delia is our departments new designated `` Stapler''. `` Stapler'' is what her name tag says, so she must have an important job, as most new employees here do n't get name tags. I quickly zip up my bag, and head to the next new hire down the hallway. 
 
 
 `` Good morning Stephen, my name is Giamani and I'm here to fill you in on your new role here. Please take a moment to review the packet we prepared for you.'' I say as I hand him his job description, a laminated sheet detailing how to load paper into a printer and how to take the printed sheet's and put them in the basket in front of the doorway to the printing room. I quickly gathered my things to head off to the next new hire, I had no time to waste! 
 
 
 `` Hello Tom, here is your bag for your duties!'' I take my bag off and hand it to the slender gentleman. `` For your new job you will be walking most of the day, is this okay?'' Tom nodded his head in a positive way. `` Great! You will need to take the printer copies from the printing room and deliver them to the Stapler, she will then hand you the documentation that needs to head for approval!'' And like that, I was off again to meet the next new hire on my list. 
 
 
 `` Greg, is it? I hear you like things straight forward, so I'll tell you what needs to be done, you need to sit here and wait for the runner to deliver the documentation that needs approval. You will find the approval stamps in various colors around your office, please feel free to use whichever you please!'' The sitting man stared, and let out a bit of a laughing-snort. *He must be enjoying the position already! *. `` You will also need to put the paper work into this mail chute to be mailed out.'' And now I was off to the basement to meet the last new hire. 
 
 
 `` Magnus, is it? I like the name!'' The Croatian man stood unamused. `` Your job is really easy, you see these chutes here? These drop obsolete documentation, I will need you to remove the Staple to be sent to our local American Recycling Center^^^TM, then you will need to throw the paper into the furnace so we may heat the building and create spare electricity! That is exciting!'' The man looked rather happy upon hearing the entailment of his duties. I was feeling rather peckish, so I headed off to the cafeteria for a light lunch of cold cuts or a cooked meal. *Wow, I do love my job! Maybe I'll feel more comfortable with my new position after I eat! *
