[ CC ] I wrote these stories recently here on WP , and would like to share them with my friends ; however , I feel like they could be tuned up a bit . Any thoughts on how to make improvements is greatly appreciated .

You've got some really interesting pieces here. As one of the other commenters has said, every one feels like it could be expanded into a whole story of its own, which is a great thing. 
 
 I've read through all three, and I made notes as I went which I've included below ( I've summarised the key points at the top, too, so you might find things repeated later on ). 
 
 The biggest thing which came up in all three stories is to do with your dialogue. I feel like you have a clear voice as a writer that's consistent throughout your pieces: it's relatively formal, and you tend to prefer more complex words and sentences to shorter ones ( e.g.'comparable to' rather than'like' or'envision' instead of'remember' ). That's fine for description, but when it comes to dialogue you need to think about how your characters would actually talk and adjust your voice accordingly. 
 
 Try to put yourself in your character's head and imagine how they would actually talk in that situation. Ask yourself how you'd talk if it was you. If it helps, say the phrase out loud. 
 
 To take an example from one of your stories, have a look at this sentence: 
 
 > `` It was comparable to the way a returning soldier would greet his wife and kids.'' 
 
 Think about the situation - you're telling someone that a bunch of soldiers were walking towards you with their arms out as if they were coming home to their family. You're a solider so you're going to be quite formal, but would you say it like the example above? Probably not. Me, I imagine I'd say something like: 
 
 > `` It was like they wanted a hug, Sir. Like they were coming home to their wife and kids.'' 
 
 See the difference? 
 
 The second thing that comes up a lot is that you tend to put multiple speakers in the same paragraph. The general rule is to start a new paragraph for each new speaker. While you do n't *have* to follow that rule, it does make your dialogue clearer. There are a few cases in these pieces where you'll have one character ask a question and the same answer it one after another, and without a paragraph break it can be quite confusing to work out who's saying what. 
 
 You do this sometimes, but not consistently. It's a small thing, but can make a big difference. 
 
 The full notes I took as I read through are below. They're a bit long, but they're there if you want to read them!
