[ WP ] A Man dies and expects to go either Heaven or Hell , only to be told by an Angel that he already was in Hell and now his punishment is over

`` You're not going to Hell.'' 
 
 `` What?'' 
 
 `` You're not going to Hell.'' 
 
 `` I do n't understand...?'' 
 
 `` You, Isaac DeMaggio, a human, are not, which is a word used to signify a contradictory statement, going to, as in traveling to, Hell.'' 
 
 `` I understand grammar, but --'' 
 
 `` Then why did you say you do n't understand?'' 
 
 `` I have n't been to Hell!'' 
 
 `` Yes, you have. You were in there for 34 years.'' 
 
 `` My life was...?'' 
 
 `` Hell.'' 
 
 `` I don --'' 
 
 `` Do you remember both of your parents dying at the same time due to that asbestos leak?'' 
 
 `` Yes...'' 
 
 `` Do you remember your wife dying to save your unborn child after labor complications?'' 
 
 `` Yes...'' 
 
 `` Do you remember the baby turning out to be a miscarriage?'' 
 
 `` Oh my god...'' 
 
 `` Do you remember your only friends dying in a house fire, at your house?'' 
 
 `` Please... stop --'' 
 
 `` Do you remember the fireman dying while trying to save your dog?'' 
 
 `` Please...'' 
 
 `` Do you remember the dog dying when you accidentally ran him over on your 34th birthday?'' 
 
 ``...'' 
 
 `` Do you remember slipping in a pool of your dog's blood and breaking your neck?'' 
 
 `` Y-yes...'' 
 
 `` Do you remember meeting all of those people in Limbo, only for them to tell you that they wish they never knew you?'' 
 
 `` Yes...'' 
 
 `` That was all Hell, Isaac. You've endured your punishment. It's time to come home, Isaac. It's time.'' 
 
 ***** 
 NOT THE DOOOOG, NOOOOOOO! ^/r/Picklestasteg00d
