[ WP ] No , my name is not Dick , it 's Richard .

``... and I guess I have been quite the dick all that time. Thanks for listening.'' 
 
 `` Hi, I'm not a dick, I'm Richard'', he said looking around for people laughing at his joke - no one did. `` Well, I guess I'm not funny either. But that's not why I'm here anyways. I'm addicted to candy - especially Dick's cream pie.'' Screaming laughter from a guy in the back of the room - he was watching some kind of funny video on his phone, you could faintly hear the sound when the room was as silent as it was right now. 
 
 No one was really paying any attention to what Richard was saying anyways. Except for the michelin man running this meeting. That guy was wearing one of those odd white top hats that french cooks like to wear. And he was constantly scratching himself with a big wooden spoon. `` Fat fuck would n't be able to get his butt scratched any other way anyways, right?'' Again no one paid any attention to Richard's story, the counsellor mindlessly continued to scratch his hard-to-reach behind. 
 
 `` Chocolatey goodness coming out of it. Real creamy stuff. The kind you just want to live off of.'' The guy behind Mr. McScratchy started clapping, only to be reminded by absolute silence that it was n't time for that just yet. Who claps at a candy addicts anonymous meeting anyways. And for a cream pier at that. Someone yelled, `` You suck, Dick!''. It was that obese lady draped in velvet and sitting on that kind of scooter they only make for people like her. She had to catch her breath and grabbed a half-eaten snickers bar from the shopping cart next to her. 
 
 `` Fuck it, I'm done.'' Richard stormed off to the next exit. He tried to at least, as he stopped at the buffet for a cream-filled donut and a coffee with cream of course. Again clapping from that one guy. This time though a few other people joined in. Richard took a seat in the back and ate his assortments of cream-based things. The spoon man continued scratching. A guy on crutches made his way to the front while trying to keep his candy cigar between his lips. `` Hi, I am an addict and fuck you, Dick!'' Laughter all around.
