[ WP ] After someone dies , they must be interviewed before it is decided how they will be reincarnated . You are the interviewer .

`` Next.'' 
 
... 
 
 `` Next!'' 
 
... 
 
 `` NEXT!!!'' 
 
... 
 
 `` God fucking damnit Suzy I swear to Brahman that I will reincarnate as your father next time just so I can raise you with the discipline needed to send in the next damn interviewee!!'' 
 
 Rick stormed to the door. A flurry of papers trailed from his desk where his hands had been a moment before. He ripped open the door just in time to catch a moderately sized bubble popping on Suzy's lips, eyes closed, totally immersed in what he could only presume is a new pop song streaming through the headphone wires attached to a new iPhone. 
 
 `` SUZY!'' he yelled as he slammed the palm of his hand down on the chic glass desk that sat to one side of his gilded door. 
 
 She jumped, not insignificantly, and grabbed the fork of the wire to rip the buds out of her ears, as she hurriedly shoved the iPhone into a drawer on her desk. 
 
 `` Where did you get the gum?'' 
 
 `` I-'' 
 
 `` And where did you get that iPhone!? You know that earthside tech is contraband!'' 
 
 `` Th-'' 
 
 `` And WHERE is MY NEXT INTERVIEWEE?!?!'' 
 
 `` He was just here sir! He gave me this gum, and this phone loaded with like, 128 gigs of music!'' She whined at him, making puppy eyes and puffing out her bottom lip. 
 
 `` Damnit Suzy, we have 153,000 interviews to get through every 24 hours, we CAN NOT delay! I've told you this!'' 
 
 She continued to pout upwards at him, and her eyes even watered a little. 
 
 He sighed. 
 
 `` Please, please please please, do n't let it get in the way of your job.'' 
 
 `` OHThankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!'' Suzy let out in a near-single syllable squeal as she sprang out of her chair and threw her arms around his neck. 
 
 `` I did n't see it, did n't hear it, do n't know about it, got it?'' 
 
 `` Yes Sir!'' Came the prompt reply, along with a little mock snap-to-attention, as if he were a drill sergeant that had just yelled `` ATTENTION''. 
 
 He sighed and turned on his heel, walking back towards the gilded door. 
 
 `` Send in the next please, Suzy.'' He called back over his shoulder. 
 
 `` Yessir!'' Came the reply. 
 
 Crossing the threshold and unconsciously letting the door shut behind him, he sighed again, deeply this time, and remembered the last time she had been the one to walk through the same door he had just closed. It was her tenth or so time through, and each time when he had looked over her record there was n't a spot on it, it was flawless. No malice or hate or dishonesty anywhere in each of her past lives. She was one of the most pure souls ever to have graced earthside. But each time she had come through that door she had been destroyed by humanity. Not corrupted, but beaten so far down, hammered so far into the ground, so utterly dejected and morose. 
 
 Not that she had the cumulative memory of her past lives, but he did, and an involuntary shudder passed through him to remember. It was then that he had decided she needed a break from earthside. He had petitioned his higher-ups to have a secretary position created to help him with the process of scheduling and organizing the judgment interviews of all the dead of earthside some time before, and coincidentally the desk had arrived the day she had. 
 
 `` Do you remember her last life?'' came a sharp, accusatory voice from the direction of his desk. 
 
 He jumped, and the blood in his veins flash-froze when he looked up to the source. 
 
 A young man sat behind his desk. Nobody besides him and the Almighty are allowed to sit behind that desk as a matter of policy. That desk is the lynchpin of all reincarnation. It, the door, and the room granted the person behind the desk the power to judge the life of whomever walks through the gilded door and assign the parameters of their next life. 
 
 Beads of sweat broke out on his temples as Rick realized what was about to happen. 
 
 `` Of course. ISIS. How could I forget?'' Another shudder ran down his spine and his torso spasmed slightly from the force of it. At least he had managed a calm voice. 
 
 `` Correct, the ISIS terrorists.'' 
 
 `` Who are you?'' This time, he put anger into his voice. It earned a raised eyebrow from the young man. 
 
 `` I am her previous lover, her Hercules, descended now into the depths of hell to rescue her from it.'' 
 
 `` This is n't hell.'' Accusatory this time. 
 
 `` I beg to differ. You and your God's mismanaged racket that you have going on here, where we souls are damned to replay our awful lives over and over, forever. With no guidance. With no help. With no direction. That all ends today.'' 
 
 `` Yuh- y-yuh- y-you ca n't -- you do n't know- how- what- there's no way-'' Stammers now. 
 
 `` Too late.'' He cut through the slack-jawed struggle of the angel, stopping it cold. 
 
 `` What would you like to be?'' He continued without pause. 
 
 `` I- uh- fuck... GODDAMNIT THERE IS NO WAY THA-'' 
 
 Rick's shout was cut midsentence as the young man pressed a gold button on the desk. White feathers floated lazily to the ground by the door. 

