[ PI ] Stay Out of My Path – Flashback - 1,384 words

I do n't know why, but for some reason the first thing I think after reading this is `` that was cute.'' I think it's probably because it's written from the perspective of a cloud/tornado/weather system/whatever, which is pretty unique. From the beginning, the story does n't make a whole lot of sense, until you get the to reveal and then it makes sense again, and I thought it was a very interesting, fresh take on the prompt. 
 
 One issue I had was the `` i felt a flashback'' line at the beginning - I think there are better ways to imply it instead of just saying it so bluntly like that ( maybe like, `` my mind wanders'' or something? whatever it's basically all personal preference anyway ). 
 
 I think my other issue was kind of personal in that I felt like the personality did n't fit that well. I can see how it got there, and I actually liked the playful personality of the `` young'' cloud, but the end personality did n't feel that cohesive to me for some reason. Do keep in mind that that's a very personal opinion, and for all I know I could be the only one that thinks like that ( and honestly, I do n't think I could tell you why I do >. > ). 
 
 Overall though, I liked the story ( especially the last line ) and though there were some slightly awkward transitions I thought it flowed nicely. I hope to read more from you in the future! 
 

