[ WP ] The worst plague of the 21st century did n't kill anyone , but it made nearly seven billion people blind .

`` What do you mean you're *blind*?' 
 
 `` What the fuck do you think I mean? I can no longer see! My eyeballs have ceased to function!'' 
 
 `` Is that tone really necessary?'' 
 
 `` Yes! If anything it is unusually fuckin-reserved! How would you feel if you woke up and could n't see anything?'' 
 
 `` Well first I would check to see if I was wearing some sort of visor.'' 
 
 `` Matty. You can see me right now. Do I look like I'm wearing a fucking visor to you?'' 
 
 `` Well, no, but you asked me what I would think about.'' 
 
 `` Jesus Fucking Christ Matty. I'm blind. How are you not worried about this?'' 
 
 `` Are you sure it is n't just something you ate?'' 
 
 `` Yes! I am extremely fucking sure! When have you eaten something and then gone blind?'' 
 
 `` Well I have n't. But I also have n't gotten crabs, and that did n't seem to stop y-'' 
 
 `` I swear to fucking God Matty.'' 
 
 `` What? What did I say?'' 
 
 `` Nothing. Just get me to the hospital.'' 
 
 `` Well it seems a little late for that.'' 
 
 `` What the fuck man? Are you going to take me to the hospital or not?'' 
 
 `` I mean... if you really want me to.'' 
 
 `` Yes! I want you to! I do n't know how I could have made that more clear!'' 
 
 `` It's just that... you're already blind.'' 
 
 `` Wow.'' 
 
 `` I mean what do you want them to do? Confirm it? You want me to drive over there so that a doctor can look at you and say'I'm sorry sir it appears that you are blind'?'' 
 
 `` No! You gaping dick hole. I want to know *why* I've gone blind.'' 
 
 `` Oh.'' 
 
 ``...'' 
 
 `` Well I can tell you that.'' 
 
 ``...'' 
 
 `` You caught that blindness disease. It was in all the papers. Did you not see it?'' 
 
 ``... I fucking hate you.'' 
 
 ___ 
 /r/Periapoapsis for more wacky antics and zany shenanigans etc.
