[ WP ] You call to order pizza , but unknowingly call a hit man

`` Hey, I'd like to order a pizza.'' 
 
 `` No shit, loser. That's why you made the call. What do you want?'' 
 
 I blinked twice. That was hardly a professional way to address a customer. `` Uh. Well. I have n't really decided yet. You know? What kind of specials you got going on?'' 
 
 `` Well... Tony's here, in the back. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve. Genuine Italian guy, you know? He knows how to do it old school.'' 
 
 `` Old school? Like, from Italy? I guess I could get behind that.'' 
 
 `` Yeah man, Tony's the best. I heard he got a special call, had to take care of a pretty big party. He made sure his customer was *real* satisfied. Nice and fast, without making a big mess.'' 
 
 `` So you guys deliver fast, huh? Like, a half hour?'' 
 
 `` A half hour? Are you kidding? This better be a local job!'' 
 
 `` No, I mean, it's pretty local. In Boston still. I'll tip big if you get it here before it gets cold.'' 
 
 There's a pause on the other end. I guess he had trouble comprehending what I meant. `` Is that not clear to you?'' 
 
 `` You want us to like, bring it to you? When we're done?'' 
 
 `` Well no shit. Look, are you gon na take my order or not?'' 
 
 `` Hey man, everyone has their own taste. What do you want?'' 
 
 `` Make it small. Nothing extra, just the basics. It's just for one person. And like I said, if it gets to me still hot, I'll tip the guy who delivers it.'' 
 
 `` Ok. And where am I sending Tony?'' 
 
 `` 54367 N. Marvaury. It's up the stairs; apartment 209. You'll have to knock.'' 
 
 `` Alright. We'll send Tony. Be ready to give him a twenty on delivery. And we'll call you if you have any questions.'' 
 
 I hung up in disgust. Unprofessional and lazy. I threw the smudged business card to the floor and went to hunt my apartment for a clean pair of pants. After tonight, I was never calling that pizza parlor again.
