( WP ) You are an evil mastermind and have finally caught your super spy nemesis . Naturally , you do what all evil masterminds do and start monologuing .

I clapped my hands slowly and loudly just as my men brought the house lights up. Just as I expected, he pointed his gun at the lights as they came up. He sheilded his eyes trying to get a good look at how many he was facing. I laughed and said, `` Good evening, please, make yourself at home.'' I looked at my trusted bodyguard, Gracie and told her, `` Gracie, dear, please see to our guest, help him feel at home.'' 
 
 She sauntered over to him in her graceful and overtly sexual way. She gently took the pistol from his hand. With smile on her face she delicately took his hand and lead him to steel chair bolted to the floor in the middle of the room. Pushing him down into it with her leg up on the arm of the chair, I laughed as his eyes went right between her legs looking up her short leather skirt. She winked at him and locked his chest in place, then each of his hands. I noticed she let her hand trail over his groin as she moved down and locked his legs in place. 
 
 She said in her lusty voice, `` He's ready, doctor.'' 
 
 I could n't wait to gloat to him, my plan was so perfect, and this imbecile played such an important part in my victory. I walked closer, stepping into the light for the first time, `` Well, Mr.... Jones? Was it? Before I show you more of Gracie's hospitality, let me explain what it is you have helped me do this evening. The micro film you delivered to your superior was the first step in my plan, you see, I wanted your government to put my competitor out of business for me. You made it so easy to deliver with your dogged enthusiasm. Your reputation as the best is what gave value to the fake plans. So, I applaud you, Mr. Jones.'' 
 
 I snapped my fingers and one of my men brought out the large monitor showing the large room in which my men were preparing the rockets for launch. I felt the smile tug at the corners of my mouth as Mr. Jones began to pale as realization must of dawned on him about what I was planning to do. I could n't help myself and blurted out, `` Yes, Mr. Jones, you see it now, do n't you. The rockets will fire into the crowded downtown area just as your president and his motorcade come through. At that same moment your men will be entering my competitor's wharehouses. There, they will find the other rockets from this shipment along with a few men who will appear to be preparing the next attack. These men have orders to die in a suicide mission. defending the wharehouse. Your government will spend the next decade in a war on terror, putting them out of business. I will reap the profits worldwide. A perfect plan do n't you think?'' 
 
 Mr. Jones then did something surprising, he started to laugh. He looked up at me and said in his thick southern US accent, `` Y'all made one mistake though, baldy.'' 
 
 I felt my head tilt and could n't resist asking, `` Oh? What was that, Mr. Jones?'' 
 
 He had the nerve to smile at me and say, `` Gracie likes me a lot more than she likes you.'' He sprang to his feet and dared to punch me in the nose. Luckily I had been trained in basic self defense and was able to get far enough away that I barely managed to get to the secret escape tube as that traitorous Gracie and Mr. Jones took my men apart in flurry of bullet, hands and feet. To make matters worse, not only did they stop my rockets and defeat my men, they also managed to seperate me from my beloved cat, Ms. Penelope Pussypants. When next I find them, I will think of the most excruciatingly painful death either of them has ever imagined.
