[ WP ] You are an alien playing a video game in which the goal is to help a species survive the longest time possible . Now you want to tackle the hardest mode in the game : human beings .

`` Okay. This is the hardest part,'' I explained to my friend, Vlorg. `` This is where they start killing each other.'' 
 
 `` Have n't they been killing each other the whole time?'' Vlorg asked. She had a good point. A set percentage of humans are programmed to kill from the beginning of the game, and they start on day 1. The percentage can vary over time, based on various factors, but it is always above any other of the race options in the game. 
 
 `` Yes, they have,'' I said, `` but this is where they start bunching up into giant groups and they *really* start killing each other''. 
 
 `` Seems pretty peaceful for now,'' Vlorg said. 
 
 `` I know, but just wait. Right now there are 47 nations, which can change at any time. None of the leaders are ordering any wars yet, but many of them are building enormous weapons just in case they need to kill later.'' 
 
 `` How do you stop it?'' 
 
 `` It's really hard,'' I said. `` You have to distract them from fighting from each other. You can try to tank the losing country's economy so they'll lose sooner and the war will end, but eventually there will be a war so big that they'll wreck their planet completely. These little fuckers would rather win a fight than keep their planet hospitable.'' 
 
 `` What if you drugged them?'' 
 
 `` What?'' 
 
 `` You know, like how they do in operations? You got an operation once and you said you could n't remember any of it. And they gave you a drug beforehand so you would n't be afraid.'' 
 
 `` I was n't afraid,'' I said. This was a lie, but I liked being the tough one in our friendship. Vlorg is my best friend, and I want her to be able to rely on me. You know, in case of emergencies. Vlorg's family died of plague a few years back, and I'm not her sister by blood but we're close enough that it does n't matter. I'm the closest thing to a family she has. 
 
 `` Sure,'' she said, smiling. She knew I was full of shit. 
 
 `` How long has it been?'' she asked. 
 
 `` A little over 200,000 years. Farthest I've ever made it. They're gon na start blasting the hell out of each other soon.'' 
 
 `` Can I try?'' Vlorg asked. 
 
 `` Knock yourself out. I'm gon na go get some food, want any?'' I had already beat my record so I figured, why not let it go to hell? 
 
 I went outside to wait for a snarkv to pass by. Usually it takes about twenty minutes, but that day I waited a full forty minutes before one came crawling by. Some days your food comes fast. Other days you've got ta wait. I leapt onto the animal, catching it with my claws. Typically I would just snatch it with my teeth, but I was about to share with Vlorg and that would be simply unhygenic. 
 
 I went inside to cut up the snarkv, came back into my room and to my surprise Vlorg was still alive! I mean, obviously she was still alive but she had kept the humans alive too. 
 
 `` How did you do it?'' I asked. 
 
 `` Acid trip,'' she said with a devious grin. 
 
 `` What's that?'' 
 
 `` I noticed that there was a large group of people who were n't killing each other, and a lot of them were using the drug. So I put a bunch of it in the rivers. Now they're all trying to be artists. Not really sure why. But they're alive, and that's what counts, right?'' 
 
 `` Yeah. I wonder what will happen next. Dang, Vlorg. I need to invite you over to help with this more often. We might beat a record together.'' 
 
 `` That would be cool!'' Vlorg is n't much of a gamer, so of course I was psyched when she said that. 
 
 `` Hey, Mnina.'' 
 
 `` What?'' 
 
 `` Do you think something like humans exists?'' 
 
 `` I do n't know,'' I said. `` It's a pretty big universe.'' 
 
 `` It is,'' she said, `` It really is.''
