[ WP ] A group of adventurers discover a robot who 's been awake but immobile for hundreds of years .

Space year 2420 
 
 They were moving and it was a damn sight better than staying on Mars. They hopped out of the universe like it was no great challenge. He wanted to think it was like an adventure but it felt more similar to a a cross country bus trip. You were given one revival each journey. He begged for the border slot. He wanted to see the frontier they were crossing. The perimeter of silent drones which broadcast to the unknown universe. Approaching the array of robots he noticed two things: 
 
 They were slowing down and they were on a collision course with one of robots or more specifically the B.O.U.Ys. Border Observational Units Y-class. 
 
 Being the only passenger awake he followed the standard PANIC guidelines. Please Aah No! I'm Cactus. 
 He only knew one of the other passengers in stasis. Cat had kept him alive and got a ticket for him to get the hell off Mars. Off Mars the hell. To a lush frontier planet, soon to be included in The Federation. Before he woke her he checked that his other organic friend was still kicking. 
 
 In his locker deep in the civilian quarters was his great prize. The glow was not obvious from outside but upon opening the locker his strange hydroponic set up was revealed. The small pointy leaves were safe. He sighed. The new planet had two suns. Fucked if he was n't going to blaze it under the light of two gods.He was a traditionalist. He smoked the weed not vapour. It was good high, he'd grant it that much praise. Though it was about as natural as the reconstituted gluten/soy hybrid meat they ate. If he could bring weed to the universe then it would negate any need for him to repopulate to excess. Sharing the herb would be his legacy. 
 
 Back at the stasis pods he located the required name: Cat Enzymalist. She was the key to sorting out this nonsense. More specifically her mind was. The storage of passengers was set out at the back left of the ship's body. It had a large viewing window with the human pods hanging off a series of rails. The vertical lines were labeled numbers, the horizontal letters. Cat was E7-6. Her pod rotated along the rack until it was at the forefront of the pile. As she was to come off the rack her pod stuck on the release. She teetered at the lip. He struck the viewing window with a flurry of fists and foul language. Finally she dropped into the slot. 
 
 He moved her pod to the medical bay and had her revived. The physical effects of the journey subsided and she lent over and spat on the ground. 
'Still an animal I see' 
 
'I'm not keeping any of that Mars dust in the lungs any longer than necessary. So I assumed you fucked up again and you decided to drag me in to clean it up?' 
 
'Weeell I have n't worked out if I, specifically, fucked up. But we're in a boat load of trouble. Ship load' 
 
'Serat you daft bastard. Show me'. 
 
 Leading her to the front of a ship he pointed enthusiastically at the monitors. She cut him off. 
 
'Stop. Stop. Follow my hand you muppet, look where I am pointing' She was pointing straight forward to the infinite space. Not so infinite currently, with the large B.O.U.Y directly in front of the window. The giant metal robot was floating calmly in the black sea of space. The two lights on the face of the objects were blinking. Cat tilted her head and sat before the controls. 
 
'Look Cat. Before you make a jab at my weed addled brain, I see two strange things and I need confirmation. Is there a skeleton in a spacesuit on the side of the B.O.U.Y? Also it seems, and this is not an area of my expertise, that someone has smeared faeces on the side of the thing' 
 
'No you see it right. Is that shit smeared writing? What the fuck does it say?', They both squinted and Cat read,'The Edge of the Universe. Ha ha. Fuck I wish I had more Vapour. This is Dr Tennyman and if I had more shit I'd tell you...' 
 
'Sorta trails off there right?' 
 
 HELLO HUMANS 
 
 They stepped back from the window, shocked. 
 
'Ahhh. Fuck well that answers a few questions. I am thinking that voice has something to do with our current predicament. The robot must have fucked with our navigation systems' Cat panted. 
 
 He was rattled. He figured that he would probably soon have some more writing materials in his pants to help Dr Tennyman finish his message. 
 
 I DID BRING YOU HERE. I HAVE CONTROL OF YOUR NAVIGATION SYSTEMS FOR THE TIME BEING. OH BEFORE I EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON MY FATHER, DR TENNYMAN, WANTED ME TO FINISH DELIVERING HIS MESSAGE TO THE FIRST PEOPLE TO COME ACROSS ME. HE DIED BEFORE HE COULD WRITE'... THIS IS DR TENNYMAN AND IF I HAD MORE SHIT I'D TELL YOU THAT I MUST BE THE MOST INTELLIGENT PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE. YOU TRY WRITING IN PERFECT CURSIVE WITH SHIT'. I MUST POINT OUT THAT IN THE BRIEF TIME I KNEW MY FATHER HE WAS EXCEPTIONALLY HIGH. 
 
 The robot was projecting it's voice through the intercom. 
 
'I had no idea that you sentinel robots were capable of speech. Though it makes sense. Robotic technology long ago provided you with sentience. Well it is a pleasure to meet you. So why did you drag us here pal?' Thinking they had met their new robotic overlord he did not want to upset the thing badly. His polite shoes were on. 
 
 MY FATHER TAUGHT ME TO TALK. HE TAUGHT ME MANY THINGS. I HAVE BROUGHT YOU HERE BECAUSE I NEED TO LOVE. ALSO I NEED MOBILITY. 
 
 Can robots interpret sighs? God he hoped not. 
 
 Space year 2320 
 
 Dr Tennyman sat on the metal hulk in what seemed to be the edge of space. He thought about writing a sign on the beacon stating that it was the'edge of the universe'; as it would go well with his eventual skeleton. He was doomed. Only problem with the death note was that his only medium was probably his faeces. He considered it as he attempted to squeeze his arm out of his spacesuit sleeve without depressurizing the whole darn thing. Not that there was any great concern of vacuum loss after being left stranded by that filthy band of pirates. He was so damn close to getting a hand out of the sleeve and down to his crack. 
 
 Had to keep reminding himself he was high as a kite. Those criminals left him outside the ship with ninety per cent air, ten per cent vapour. Thought it was a generous parting gift leaving the vapour with him. Least he knew it was good quality, he fucking made it. What were the parting words from that cunt of a captain? 
 
'You can die seeing the infinite beauty of the universe?' 
 
 Goddamn that. He did n't need drugs to see that there was more universe in front of him than he could ever, eventually, hurl his shit at. By this point he had got his hand and squeezed it to the point where his fist was somewhere backwards and inside out, maybe near his sternum. Then the island beeped to life. 
 
 The doctor was curious. Strange things drifted in the particular region of the Galaxy he found himself in. The area was marked by the metal buoy to highlight the edge of the Federation. Beyond was frontier inhabited by varied bands of the assholes like the ones that jettisoned him. 
 
 He had a small outward platform which surrounded the spheroid shaped central processor. At the peak was a curved tip added, presumably, by a hasty design team. Looked like a painfully pinched turd made out of tin. Damn cyclical drug thought patterns. He worried that he would spend his last moment alive concerned with his bowels. 
 Two red beads at the predictably placed eye sockets blinked at him in a deeply disconcerting manner. Were they slightly out of sync? 
 
 His son had died more than a decade ago. He was deep into his advanced AI work and had lost most connection with humanity. That's when it happened. He saw glimpses in his periphery, his son pulling his filthy sleeve. Did n't the boy know that if he solved this main singularity issue then automated space travel could be thousands of times more efficient? 
 
 His ancestral curiosity was what killed him. Both of them. 
 
 After the loss the doctor decided that all that was left was a drug fueled demise. He started harvesting the strange cosmic dust which was the most attractive substance known to most life forms; Vapour. 
 
 Eventually he got picked up by a roving band of space pirates. His chemistry ability was top notch and made him an ideal hostage candidate. Least wise they gave him the finest wenches the Galaxy could spare to keep him busy. Until he got Vapourlock. His joints weakened and his skin became translucent. The crew knew that the spread would eventually lead to dissipation. So they had to get rid of him hence his current predicament. 
 
 He needed to see what the thing was capable of. Only way to refocus his brain from the various drug induced effects was to get to to work. He managed to get the manual control panel out and soon was logged into the systems mainframe. He starting tweaking the mechanism. First he gave the thing speech. Then he taught it to love. He would not die alone. Maybe the robot would grow to call him father. Though he only really had a few hours left to teach him that they were related. He double his pace of fucking with the machine. Then in a glorious moment of coming out a deep lonely depression the machine came to life. 
 
 GREETINGS. WHY HAVE YOU CHANGED MY PRIME DIRECTIVES? 
 
'Well, my son, I think you are destined for great things. I am your father and you are my spawn. I have taught you to love and you will be the most loving being in the universe. Because of me! Your father'. The two beings chatted briefly before Dr Tennyman realised that he was going totally insane. 
 
'You will live out my legacy. The saviour has come! You are the saviour! Your love will unite man kind and the galaxy. The Tennyman name will continue. Well actually, you will be my second legacy. I got get back to writing!' 
 
 THANK YOU FATHER. I WILL BE THE FUTURE, YOUR LEGACY, THE SAVIOUR. 
 
 With that Temna switched off all his electronic equipment, leaving life support as the last drain on his resources. He then spent the last hour of his life struggling with Vapour withdrawl, asphyxiation and his own poop. 
 

