[ WP ] Turning your girlfriend into a pumpkin was the last straw . Your wizard house-guest has DEFINITELY overstayed his welcome .

`` Oh *dear*,'' Tristan said, wringing his hands. `` I'll put it right, just let me -'' 
 
 `` Out!'' I yelled, grabbing Christina and hugging her to my chest. `` Just go, Tristan. And please do the world a favour and drop out of the Wheezbie's Academy!'' 
 
 A pumpkin! It would take weeks to track down a competent, reliable, fully trained witch or wizard to undo the damage. 
 
 Tristan's eyes filled with tears as he looked at me. We used to best friends as well as roommates. Until he quit pursuing a normal, perfectly respectable career to become a *wizard*. 
 
 `` I was just trying to turn her hair red,'' he said miserably. `` She mentioned she wanted a quick dye job...'' 
 
 `` Oh, well done, you,'' I sneered. `` Now she does n't have to worry about having hair at all, how lovely. As if turning all my appliances into useless lumps of metal or my parrot into a stuffed toy was n't enough.'' 
 
 `` Look, I promise I can make it all right! I'll prove it to you - I looked up how to fix the bird,'' he said, his eyes suddenly gleaming with enthusiasm. 
 
 He pulled out his wand and brandished it through the air, straight at my previously lively parrot Tooks: who was still lying on his side on the shelf, little plastic eyes somehow managing to look sad. A second later, there was a burst of black feathers. 
 
 I screamed and ran away with Christina as a cawing crow made a beeline for me. Suddenly Tooks landed on Christina and started pecking manically away at her head. 
 
 Tristan waved his wand hysterically, until Tooks dropped to the floor, a stuffed toy once more. I stared, speechless, at Christina - who was missing the equivalent of either her frontal or occipital lobe. 
 
 `` Well,'' Tristan said eventually, as the silence lengthened. `` You know, she was n't the brightest in the first place, mate, you could do better. This probably wo n't make any difference.'' 
 
 `` You'd better hope your defensive spells are better than what I've seen so far,'' I told him calmly, as I set Christina down. `` Because I'm going to kill you now.'' 
 
 He took one look at me and finally fled from my house. 
 ___ 
 
 You can find more of my work on /r/Inkfinger/.
