[ WP ] You are the oldest inhabitant of Hell . Even the Devil does n't know how long you 've been here . Denizens of Hell normally expect that the oldest sinner would be someone of pure evil , but in truth you 're actually a pretty chill dude .

There was a time, a time so long ago that there was no light. It was a time before the sun was born. When cold rocks whirled around an empty void. Time passed on a scale that I simply can not explain and slowly they began to collide and clump together. I will never forget the first light, a dull and deep molten red. It was amazing, this color in the darkness, the first hue of the universe. I stared in wonder at this beacon as it continued to grow, as these cold rocks plummeted into the faint red hue in front of me and would cause an explosion of spectacular fireworks. When this would happen the color changed if only for a few moments to oranges, yellows reds and whites. It was breathtaking. 
 
 
 My mind was drifting again. Drifting back to some of my earliest memories. I took a deep breath and focused on the figure standing in front of me, Lucifer. Gods most trusted and loved angel, now the King of hell. At least that ’ s what the story says. “ Luci got a bum wrap. ” I thought to myself as I looked on. Father told him that he needed someone to discipline those of his children who would not listen to his words. To punish them, teach them or correct their immoral ways and who better than his most beloved son. Of course the other angels, we all know how brothers and sisters exaggerate, had to tell the world he defied father, was cast out and well that ’ s how family drama goes. 
 
 
 You would think that since I was the oldest it would have fallen to me, but that ’ s not really my style. After all you give a hungry woman wondering around a jungle naked an apple and the world falls apart. In this case that ’ s no joke! Luci was nearby and I bolted, poor guy got blamed for that too. I really did feel kinda bad about all this so when Luci opened the gates to his new work place I made sure I was the first one to visit. Ok, so I didn ’ t really feel bad, but I mean come on, who doesn ’ t like to make fun of their little brother and I was a bit curious. After all I had seen all of creation and this was something new! 
 
 
 For a while there wasn ’ t much going on in hell. I would get bored and move his chair. Yes, I call it a chair, I mean once you have seen Dads throne, everything else is just a chair. A few times I would open the gate and leave it open, he ’ d slam it shut and proceed to have to search all seven circles of hell for his chair. I would giggle a little, after all that ’ s what you get for making seven levels of anything. But this is enough day dreaming and reminiscing. 
 
 
 I looked clearly at Luci as he was quickly opening his six black wings to intimidate his latest arrivals. It was all so repetitive at this point. I hate to say it, but my time here was beginning to bore me. The souls these days had mentioned stories of amazing inventions, art and so many things I had not been out to see. They mention amazing meals and things like pizza and pie. It was probably time to walk the earth again and experience this new world. This time though when I visit the cities on the surface I won ’ t dump a cart full of mushrooms in the water wells, quite a mind blowing experience speaking gibberish and outrageous parties. Sodom and Gomorrah definitely weren ’ t the same after I visited. 
 
 
 I definitely need to head out for some fun, after all, what could go wrong. 

