[ WP ] You call to order pizza , but unknowingly call a hit man

The phone rang exactly three times, before the receiver clicked, and a voice ( from someone who clearly gargled gravel ) came over the line. 
 
 “ How did you get this number. ” 
 
 It was weird they would choose such a confrontational guy to answer the phone, but, well, whatever. Maybe he was a special hire? 
 
 “ Vito ’ s, right? My friend recommended you. He said you do delivery? ” 
 
 The voice on the other end chuckled. “ Yeah. Yeah, we do delivery. Your friend, huh? ” 
 
 “ Yeah, he said you guys were really good, and *quick*, too. ” 
 
 “ We *pride ourselves* on our reputation. Never heard a complaint after. Whaddya want? ” 
 
 “ Yeah, he said to ask about the special? ” 
 
 “ Oh, the special, huh? We got us a *conny-sewer* over here. Ok, the special. How you want it? ” 
 
 “ All the toppings, please. ” 
 
 “ *All the toppings?! * You mean... Even the thing with the *peppers*? ” 
 “ Yeah yeah, of course I want the peppers! ” 
 
 “ Well, ok, whatever you say, pal. We aim to please. ” 
 
 “ And can I get it cut into eight pieces, please? ” 
 
 The voice on the other end made a small disgusted noise. “ Cut into eight pieces? You want it cut up? ” 
 
 “ Yeah, of course I want it cut up! ” 
 
 The voice on the other end paused. 
 
 “ Listen, man, we can do disposal, you know. We *box it up* for you- “ 
 
 “ -Well, I ’ d *hope* so. I mean, it ’ s your *job* to- “ 
 
 “ -you ain ’ t got ta get it cut up or anything. ” 
 
 “ What the hell do you mean I ‘ don ’ t have to get it cut up ’?! *How the hell else am I gon na fit it on a plate?! * ” 
 
 There was a noise on the other end of someone being ill. “ You, you ’ re a real *sicko*, you know that? ” 
 
 What? These clowns don ’ t even know how to deliver a goddamn pizza, and now they ’ re judging *me?! * 
 
 “ You ’ ve got some nerve! You want me to order one for you?! Show you *how it ’ s done? * I don ’ t care, I know seven, *eight * other places that ’ ll do it *exactly how I like it* and I guarantee you they ’ ll be there in half an hour, or *less*! ” 
 
 “ *Whoa, whoa, * okay buddy, okay. ” The voice on the other side sounded oddly *shaken*, which didn ’ t make a whole lot of sense to me, seeing as how I was offering to pay and everything. Maybe it would look bad for them? “ Let ’ s not get too crazy, ok? I didn ’ t say I wouldn ’ t do it, alright? Jesus! ” 
 
 “ So, how much? ” 
 
 “ Twenty. Half now. ” 
 
 “ What, like a deposit? You take Discover, right? ” 
 
 * “ Are you kiddin ’ me?! ” * 
 
 “ Listen, I ’ ll have cash on me when you come to deliver. I ’ ll pay you then. ” 
 
 “ Wait- holy shit, you want this for *you?! * ” 
 
 “ Well, *duh*. Who did you think it was- “ 
 
 **CLICK! ** 

