[ TT ] A new law makes all 2016 New Year 's resolutions legally binding .

`` Imma not guilty.'' 
 
 `` Lies! We have documented evidence of you sticking your *knife* in the victim!'' 
 
 `` Mr. Thompson, this is a civilised area. Please calm yourself down. My client insists that he was coerced to murder the victim by a higher entity.'' 
 
 `` *Higher entity*!?'' Thompson stared at the lawyer, then at the judge, then back at the lawyer, `` What screwed-up religion woul-'' 
 
 `` Sorry, bro, but lem me just cut in. It's the government, yo. Last month, Imma be drunk as hell, and I made a resolution to kill a man. Next moment, new law comes out, ooo, I have to do it.'' 
 
 `` B-b-but...'' 
 
 `` Well, Mr. Thompson?'' 
 
 Ever since the law was passed by President /u/sketches1637, the country has been thrown into utter chaos. While most thought that the law might lead to a better future, many instead manipulated the law to get away with heinous crimes. More at seven. 
 
 ~~~~~ 
 
 I'm not actually very knowledgeable about law, probably should n't be writing about this... but yeah, if I got something wrong, just *imagine* that we're in an imaginary world where I was correct, okay?
