[ WP ] The King of Spades declares war on the Queen of Diamonds

Alfonso di Matto was a big-time gangster in a small-time town. Everyone knew he had every person who mattered in his pocket and nobody cared, because you could walk home from work without any trouble, drop in to one of his speak-easys where you knew there was n't going to be a fight, and have a drink of something that was n't going to turn you blind. He ran a very respectable funeral parlour and liked to be seen as a gentleman; dignified and quietly dressed, and he would oversee the difficult grieving period every family has to go through from time to time respectfully and diligently. No-one mentioned how his father was killed in a bare-knuckle fight in the Bronx, and no-one mentioned that he bought his first suit with the money he had earned by shooting a man in the knee-caps. He'd moved out of New York when it got too hot, set up shop in a sleepy town and then set to work providing the people with what they wanted, a drink after work and a good time on a Friday night. 
 
 Alfonso's afternoon cigar was interrupted by a loud, urgent knocking on the door. 
 
'What is it?' 
 
 A young man burst in clutching a local paper; his forehead beaded with sweat under his flat cap and his cheap tie at an angle. His eyes were starting out of his head. 
 
'Boss, you got ta see this!' 
 
 Alfonso snatched the paper and quickly scanned the headline. It was unmistakeable. 
 
 QUEEN OF DIAMONDS TO CLEAN UP PEOPLE'S TOWN 
 
'What do you wan na do boss?' The boy was referring to the problem that now presented itself. Namely a certain Lucille Blakely which the headline was alluding to. Namely a certain moneyed and well-bred socialite, with a penchant for three things: fur coats, public-spirited fundraising and sparkling jewellery. Loved by the people and tireless in her campaigns to better the nation. The Queen of Diamonds. 
 
'It looks like she wants to sort this place out. Shut down the bars, call in outside inspectors. She's talking about FEDERAL law-enforcers!' 
 
'I know Jimmy, I know' 
 
'I mean, what if she actually follows through with this?! We're finished boss, they'll see everything's connected, rotten to the core!' 
 
'I know Jimmy!' Alfonso was getting angry at the boy's insistence. 
 
'So what are you going to do?' 
 
 Alfonso sat back in his expansive leather chair, and to Jimmy's surprise a dark grin spread slowly across his heavy-set features. 
 
'I want you to dig a grave, nice and public; in the town park or the baseball field, I do n't care. And then I want you to leave the spade on her front porch, and then we'll see who's talking about federal law-enforcement.' 
 
'But boss, she's bound to know it's you! That's like... that's like your calling card!'. 
 
'Exactly.' 
 
 The cigar crackled softly as The King of Spades took a slow, contemplative drag.
