[ WP ] When you are a baby you are aware of how and when you will die . But as you grow up , most people forget . Except you , how does this affect your decisions ?

Setting a brisk pace, I fall into stride with my new boss. It felt good to have the hustle and bustle of an office surrounding me again, albeit a bit unnerving since I'd been out of steady work for months now. 
 
 `` So, how have you settled into your new office, Jackson?'' 
 
 I glance over at the slightly pudgy and kind face of a smiling Mr. Anthony Patient. `` As well as you can settle into a cubicle I suppose, but I would n't trade it for the world right now. Really, Anthony, thank you so much for offering me this job. I ca n't believe I'm finally going to be able to see Blaise graudate. She's been putting it off for months now, with her mother's hospital bills and all.'' 
 
 `` College life is going to be easy for that girl after all she's been through. She deserves it. Just consider it a gift, bud. It's the least I can do.'' 
 
 I nod my head and give him a small smile as we stop walking, having arrived at Anthony's office door. He briefly pauses to fill a white, disposable styrofoam cup with a steaming black liquid from the office coffee pot sitting just outside. As the familiar smell fills my nostrils, he adds, `` Do n't forget the meeting we have at ten! I need you to pick up the quotes for the client early to make sure they look right, so after you drop your stuff off I need you to head over there now.'' 
 
 `` Absolutely! Just text me the address and I'll head out as soon as I can.'' 
 
 Anthony reaches down to his left pant pocket and pulls out a dirty and cracked iPhone. His fingers briefly fly across it and I feel a buzz in my pocket. 
 
 `` Got it!'' I say as I briefly pat the pocket where I keep my phone. 
 
 `` See you at ten o'clock sharp,'' he replies, opening his office door. 
 
 As the door shuts behind him, I look at the address on the phone. `` 21st Street, huh?'' I plug it into the directions app on my phone and see that it is about a forty five minute drive. Key word: drive. Ever since I could remember, I've hated cars because of the images that haunt my dreams every night. 
 
 A violent sound almost breaking my ear drums, accompanied by my tangled and broken body draped over the steering wheel; my own blood splattered and filling the cracks in the windshield. 
 
 I shake my head, and run my hand over my eyes to bring myself to reality. I glance at my watch and my face grows cold as the color drains from it. It's already nine o'clock. There's no way I can make it in time... 
 
 I remember a conversation Anthony and I had earlier that week. `` Jackson, if I help you out, you've got to promise me you are going to get over it. I ca n't hire someone who is afraid to get in a vehicle. We take business trips, we have deadlines. I'm sorry, but I just ca n't justify hiring someone who ca n't do these things.'' 
 
 `` Anthony, you know me. I care way too much about Anne and Blaise. They need me, and I can do this for them. I've been practicing driving again anyway,'' I lied, knowing that just the night before I had sat in the car for an hour just to find the courage to put the key in the ignition, and then scrambled out in a panic as it revved to life. 
 
 Shaking, my hand reaches for my back pocket and I check my wallet and find a couple crumpled twenty dollar bills inside. I stumble over to the elevator that will take me down to the first floor. Luckily, no one else is inside and I lean heavily against the wall and take shallow breaths of air. I manage to calm myself down a little, and my breaths to get deeper and deeper. The elevator reaches it's destination and I walk out with very deliberate steps, reaching the glass front doors of the building. 
 
 As I open them, an arid stench reaches my nostrils and the rambunctious atmosphere of stop and go traffic fills my ears. Several yellow cabs immediately blare into my vision, and my knees go weak again. I do n't know if I can do this.
