[ WP ] Aliens come to Earth in hoping to wipe us out and take over the planet , but are honorable and gives us a fighting chance . They announce they will return in 100 years so as to give Earth a chance to prepare and defend itself . Neither side expected what the other would bring to war

The human and Q'la ambassador sat across each other at the great stone table. Both waited in silence for the other to show their hand, to break first. Ambassador Smithson mustache twitched. Ambassador Quklukgukguk's single shining eyeball drooped a sticky liquid. Well...'his' name was not Quklukgukguk, but Ambassador Smithson would be damned if he could pronounce the real title. It was all trilling K's and R's without any discernable nouns, warbling up and down pitch for nearly half a minute. It had almost busted his ear drums first time he had heard it at the start of the meeting. *Maybe they should have just sung to us, that would have won it for them real quick* the ambassador thought in dark humors. He almost smiled at that little joke. 
 
 Minutes past with only the ticking of the clock in the dark room. A century of build up for this exact moment, where both species presented their weapons to wage war with on the other. A century of frantic R & D, of what universal constant would work to completely destroy an entire civilization spread across the stars. 
 
 Finally, the Q'la reached slowly under its... his....no, its robes and brought out a small vial filled with red liquid. It glinted as it caught the light, many small creatures swimming in a frenzy inside. 
 
 The translator on Quklukgukguk's thick neck chirped. 
 
 *This is the Flubinian parasite. It nests in the hosts eyes, only to spring free and fly to another host to lay its eggs in the ear cavities. In between the birth cycles, the parasites eat into and control the host's brain and act out a normal life, and can remain undetected in society for years. Our scientists discerned your society had a 35 percent survival chance if we introduced this into your water supplies. Chance enough to live, but somehow I doubt it, primate. * 
 
 It spit the last word, the single eye looking pleased with itself as the porous body leaked over the bison hide chair. Smithson resisted the urge to smash his own over the alien's head. He had liked that chair. 
 
 Spreading his fingers, Smithson nodded slowly, acquiescing. `` That is both a most hideous and ingenious weapon you have there Ambassador. It is only fair if I present mine as well, of course. We humans ourselves know something about parasites ourselves.'' He said. 
 
 Reaching into his suit's breast pocket, he pulled out a large goggle and thick joystick, setting them in the table between the two of them. The Q'la looked confused. 
 
 *What is this? You can not hope to defeat us with such a device, primate. * It stated, almost angry in its confusion. 
 
 Ambassador Smithson sat straighter in his chair and smoothed his jacket. 
 
 `` This, *Worm*, is a 3D, nucleoid-powered gaming headset and controller, fitted for your species use. It has Intergalatic internet and unlimited games, Candy Crush and Farmvillle to name a few. The screen will never break, and it will never run out of power.'' 
 
 Smithson smiled as he leaned forward. 
 
 `` It also has 82 pentaflops of Q'la porn installed, and as of 0600 this morning, we just delivered one of these devices to each of your species members under the age of 80.'' 
 
 Quklukgukguk's eye reflected pure horror. Smithson had to keep the laughter from bubbling out at the fat worm's expression. 
 
 `` Best of luck waging war when your population refuses grow food, run your countries, and supply your power... or really anything that does n't have to do with sitting their fat asses in a couch all day while your worlds crumble around them.'' 
 
 Smiling he held out his hand to the quivering, distressed mass. It flinched away from him. 
 
 `` All in all, I think this went well.'' Smithson said with satisfaction. 
 
 `` Shake on it?''
