[ WP ] Write the most elaborate , over-dramatic , and exciting story you can think of that all just turns out to be a set-up for a pun so horrible I 'll want to punch you

No. Oh God no. The cows, the animals that were so important ever since the aliens attacked, were standing on the Dead Cliff, being slowly herded towards the edge by one of the aliens. I raised my gun and paused. The gunshot would scare the cows off the cliff. Damn it. I pulled out my machete and scrambled up the slope. I almost snuck up on the alien, but it turned extremely quickly. It raised its six clawed arms and advanced slowly. I braced myself and suddenly got an idea. I ran forwards and dove under the alien. I managed to cut a tentacle off and stand up behind it, with my back to the cows. This was n't good. I was about 56 metres above the ground below and was slowly being pushed back towards the cows. I gulped. 
 
 The steaks had never been higher.
