[ WP ] Earth becomes the battleground for two warring alien races , both of which claim to be humanity 's `` protectors ''

We had been sent on a divine mission. Our god, Volcano, had commanded that we go and rescue the noble savages from their invaders. 
 
 But the enemy is weak: they have rejected the embrace of Volcano. They worship Water. Water is a weak god: he can not even survive on most planets, and his followers are condemned to hop between them. 
 
 Sadly, we discovered that Water had populated one of our planets, as well. And the enemy was coming. 
 
 Last year three enemy ships had penetrated the protective force field around the C-3801 system. We intercepted a communication: the enemy intended to occupy that solar system as a base to launch an attack on our own. 
 
 But Volcano reminded us that we have a duty to save the C-3801 system. For the third planet therein has been the greatest battleground between Volcano and Water. Both gods sent missionaries to populate the planet, and a holy war erupted. 
 
 Water's minions seem to think that the humans, those lowly creatures, will aid him in building a forward assault base. The enemy has been attempting to steal them away before they receive Volcano's enlightenment. 
 
 Right now, the humans do not truly live; they merely exist. They are observed 41 hours per day, 1312 days per year, and the scientists at home fail to see their reason for existence. 
 
 We are protecting the humans from the wrath of Water, but they are slow to understand. They are indoctrinated, but we will help them. 
 
 I am a doctor of humans. I fix them. My partner and I spoke to the humans before administering the cure for Water worship. 
 
 `` There are some... *unfortunate* side effects. Hallucinations, sometimes. Mild stomach pains, some swelling, loss of free will.'' 
 
 `` And drowsiness.'' 
 
 `` Right. Ca n't forget drowsiness.''
