[ WP ] Your neighbor is the protagonist of a musical . Any time a musical number starts , anyone within a certain radius ca n't help but join in . You are trying to have one normal day when you hear music approach .

FADE IN: 
 
 EXT. A RESIDENTIAL STREET - AFTERNOON 
 
 *A young man exits his house and locks the door behind him. This is STEVE. He glances up and down the street, apparently expecting someone to arrive. After a few moments, a car pulls up, and a young woman exits. This is SARAH. * 
 
 **SARAH: ** Hey! I hope you have n't been waiting long! 
 **STEVE: ** Nah, I only just stepped outside. 
 
 *Sarah nods her understanding, then shifts her weight expectantly. * 
 
 **SARAH: ** So... third date, huh? 
 **STEVE: ** Yeah, I was thinking that we could take a walk down to the farmer's market, and then I could... 
 
 *Steve trails off, and his face adopts an expression of muted horror. * 
 
 **SARAH: **... You could what? 
 **STEVE: ** Oh no. 
 **SARAH: ** You could oh no? 
 **STEVE: ** No. 
 **SARAH: ** Well, *that* sure cleared things up. 
 
 *Rather than answering, Steve grabs Sarah's hand and takes off running. * 
 
 **STEVE: ** Come on! There's no time to explain! 
 **SARAH: ** Hey, ouch! What's going on? 
 **STEVE: ** I just said there's no time to explain! Follow me! Hurry! 
 
 *The pair round a corner, and Steve slows to a halt. Sarah snatches her hand away from him. * 
 
 **SARAH: ** Look, I'm going to have my friend call with a fake emergency if you're going to start pretending that you're a secret agent or something. 
 **STEVE: ** No, no! No, it's not like that! 
 **SARAH: ** What's going on, then? 
 **STEVE: ** I heard music! 
 **SARAH: **... Music. 
 **STEVE: ** It was *Dave's* music! 
 **SARAH: ** Okay, so, Dave has bad taste in music. Why did we have to run, again? 
 
 *Steve rubs his forehead, looking slightly unhinged. * 
 
 **STEVE: ** It's not that he has bad taste in music; it's that his life is a goddamned musical. 
 **SARAH: ** So what? Lots of people listen to music throughout the day. 
 **STEVE: ** You're not getting it. 
 **SARAH: ** Well, you're not explaining it. 
 
 *Steve glances around the corner, then sighs and seems to relax slightly. * 
 
 **STEVE: ** Look, Dave is my roommate, okay? 
 **SARAH: ** Oh. I get it. 
 **STEVE: **... What? 
 **SARAH: ** He's your `` roommate.'' 
 **STEVE: ** What? Wait, *what? * No! No, I mean, he's literally my roommate, and he has this... condition. 
 **SARAH: ** A musical condition. 
 **STEVE: ** Yes. 
 **SARAH: **... Does he, like, fart a lot or something? 
 **STEVE: ** I mean *actual* music. Whenever he starts singing, the world around him turns into a goddamned Andrew Lloyd Webber scene. 
 
 *Sarah stares at Steve for several seconds. * 
 
 **SARAH: ** Gosh, you know what? I just remembered. My friend's goldfish just died. I should go comfort her. 
 **STEVE: ** I'm telling the truth! 
 **SARAH: ** Uh huh. 
 
 *Sarah starts to walk away, but Steve jumps in front of her. * 
 
 **STEVE: ** No, no, I mean it! I know it sounds crazy! 
 
 *In the distance, strains of music become audible. * 
 
 **SARAH: ** Get out of my way. 
 **STEVE: ** Please, if you'd just... if only you could... 
 
 *Steve steps aside, raises his arms, and begins singing toward the sky. * 
 
 **STEVE: ** 
 Look at me! 
 I've blown it yet again! 
 Why ca n't I live a normal life 
 While Dave is still my friend? 
 I'm handsome and intelligent, 
 I'm educated, smart, 
 And yet I become quite the fool 
 When I hear music start! 
 
 *Steve turns to see Sarah walking away again, and he dances after her. * 
 
 **SARAH: ** 
 Leave me be! 
 This is n't what I want! 
 I was hoping for a normal date 
 Perhaps at a restaurant! 
 You're handsome and intelligent, 
 And that I would n't change, 
 But it's always on the third date 
 That men start acting strange! 
 
 *From seemingly out of nowhere, several more MEN surround Steve. They all dance in perfect synchronization as they follow Sarah. * 
 
 **MEN: ** 
 And so 
 It goes! 
 It's that godawful fate! 
 The scourge of every living man... 
 
 *One of the group jumps forward and sings with a flamboyant intonation. The music stops for his line. * 
 
 **GAY MAN: **... Assuming that he's straight! 
 
 *The GAY MAN jumps back into line with his cohorts. * 
 
 **MEN: ** 
 We try so much to please them, 
 We work hard to impress, 
 But that which makes a woman tick 
 Is anybody's guess! 
 
 *As if in response, several WOMEN suddenly surround Sarah. They all turn around and face the men. * 
 
 **WOMEN: ** 
 And there 
 It is! 
 You've taken off the mask! 
 To find out just what women want, 
 You only have to ask! 
 We do n't care if you're psychic, 
 This is n't just your `` fate!'' 
 Rather than assume anything, 
 You should communicate! 
 
 *The music slows, and the dancing slows in kind. Everyone forms into a swaying ring, into which Steve steps. * 
 
 **STEVE: ** 
 Oh, there... 
 Is a truth inside me... 
 A secret that I really should have shared. 
 If she... 
 Was to be my lover... 
 When she learned it, would she have even cared? 
 
 *Sarah steps into the ring. * 
 
 **SARAH: ** 
 I know... 
 That you are n't so crazy... 
 The truth about your friend is plain to see. 
 Instead... 
 Of that sudden dragging... 
 You should have tried just telling this to me. 
 
 *The music's tempo picks back up, and the men and women start dancing together. * 
 
 **STEVE and SARAH: ** 
 Maybe we 
 Can get a second chance 
 We've just had our first-ever fight 
 As a part of this dance! 
 It is quite the story to tell! 
 This moment, we can save! 
 There's only one more thing to say... 
 
 *A young man comes around the corner. This is DAVE. * 
 
 **DAVE: ** Oh, hi, Steve! 
 
 *Everyone else raises their arms to the sky and belts out the final notes of the song. * 
 
 **EVERYONE: ** Fuck you, Daaaaaaave! 
 
 *After a final fanfare - during which several men and women do back-flips and cartwheels - the music abruptly stops. The men and women glance at one another with confusion and embarrassment, then hurriedly shuffle away from one another. Steve and Sarah look at each other, then smile. * 
 
 **DAVE: **... That was a bit rude. 
 
 FADE OUT.
