[ WP ] A secret file is leaked from the Pentagon , all that can be seen is the title : The Radish King

**The Radish King** SCID: 98213-33-3545-43-87-767-4342-18-74-13748 
 
 **This archive protectively hexed by Regional Supervisor to Voodoo Practices Elliot Jonas LeBeau** 
 
 No Access Without Authorization. 
 
 **Transferable Hex Warning** - The hex on this document will spread to photocopies, scans, tracings, drawings, or other reproductions of this document of quality Class 4 or higher. 
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 Clearance: Red 
 
 Reading this document without proper authorization is treason and will be punished with extreme prejudice to the fullest and most complete extent possible now or in perpetuity forevermore by the Federal Bureau for Management of Supernatural Citizens ( FBMSC ). 
 
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 QUICK FACTS 
 
 **Subject: ** The Radish King 
 
 **Hazards: ** ~500 Well Equipped Garden Gnomes ( Level 2 - Hazard ) 
 
 **Hostile Option: Standard Sidearm** 
 
 **Local Contact: Regional Supervisor to Voodoo Practices Elliot Jonas LeBeau** 
 
 
 > Aliases: The Radish King, Archibald Gorthumbleton Root Vegetable Porcupinius Radish the XVIIth, He Who Poops On His Foes 
 
 > Whereabouts: Baton Rouge, Louisiana 
 
 **Category: ** Supernatural Citizen Type-Alpha-1 ( human-comparable, mostly non-hostile, amenable to reason ) 
 
 > Supernatural Citizen ID: 98213-33-3545-43-87-767-4342-18-74-13748 
 
 > SSN: none ( by 1798 Supernatural Natives Act B.3.DD.e ) 
 
 > Driver's License: Prohibited from Driving ( by nature: size incompatible with motor vehicle ) 
 
 **Species: ** Garden Gnome 
 
 > Sex: Fruit-bearing ( See Garden Gnome Biology Addendum ) 
 
 > Ethnicity: Caucasian ( not of hispanic descent ) 
 
 > Grammatical Gender: Royalty * ( Pronouns: his majesty, your majesty ) * ( See Garden Gnome Cultural Dictionary section F: Genders and Forms of Address for more info ) 
 
 > Tribe/Lineage: Radish ( Ruling Family ) 
 
 > Age: 12 ( ~ 65 human years ) 
 
 > Physical Extent: 2'1'' 
 
 > Weight: 14lbs 
 
 Hazards: 
 
 > Weapons: Teeth ( mundane class ) ( See Garden Gnome Biology Addendum ) 
 
 > Influence: Command of approximately 500 Garden Gnomes in the Baton Rouge area by right of royal blood. 
 
 Weaknesses: 
 
 
 - Garden Gnome Physiology: 
 
 > Mundane Force ( guns, fists, knives, etc ) 
 
 > Cardamom Seeds 
 
 > Cold Iron 
 
 > Bright Lights 
 
 > Acrophobia 
 
 - Mental Flaws: 
 
 > Vain 
 
 > Stupid ( approx IQ 72 ) 
 
 Index of Addenda: 
 
 - Radish Family Tree ( on loan from Radish Family Archivist Theobald Longwattle ( SCID - 96213-33-5545-12-87-767-4342-67-74-12000 ) ) 
 
 - Garden Gnome Cultural Dictionary ( Archive 01 - Common ) 
 
 - Bayou Garden Gnome Political Overview ( Archive P - Postcontact Only ) 
 
 - Radish Family Royal Laws ( Archive 02 - Domain Info ) 
 
 - Garden Gnome Biology ( Archive 01 - Common )
