[ WP ] Write about someone who is waiting for something .

Tobacco floats through the air and upward into the navy blue ceiling. I see fresh green colored leaves on the trees that have holiday lights wrapped around their branches all year long and in this moment I want nothing more than for the ceiling to fall on top of me so that is the only thing I can worry about; how would I unwrap myself from this heavy blanket woven by the elemental gases and star debris. It would be so much better than to be laying on this blanket wondering why someone I ’ ve known for only a week and half and have only spent time with twice has not responded to a text message in seven hours. Of course I keep count, I measure my value in the amount of time people are willing to give me. Especially women that I ’ m strongly attracted to. She and I were going to watch a movie I have never seen, but she remembered she had already made plans to spend time with another friend. Is this person actually a friend, or is she trying to figure out if she likes one of us more than the other. Is this person even a guy? What if she ’ s just been out all day and her phone is dead and she has not been able to charge it? I strongly doubt the last one, and it ’ s mostly because I feel so pathetic and worthless. I don ’ t know what it truly means to love and be loved. I get attached too quickly, and I try to hang on by being the person I need to be for her. I have known her for one week. I have no idea what she needs; only what I want. My mind feels like it is the focal point in a game of whack-a-mole. There ’ s no pain, just dull rattling that prevents me from forming coherent thought. I can rationalize nothing, but she is beautiful, and I want her to think I am beautiful. I want to be the meadow she walks upon and not the weeds and dandelions that sprout up around her ankles begging for nourishment. I want to be valuable. And I don ’ t know that I ever will be for her. There ’ s probably nothing to lose, but it means everything to me. A few hours of conversation in person, that ’ s all it took.
