[ WP ] Reddit buys the moon

Dickbutt... That was the first thing reddit was to do with their recent purchase of the moon. 
 
 `` We're going to etch dickbutt with freakin' lasers across the surface of the moon!'' cried one post with over 100,000 upvotes. 
 
 There was n't much else they could do with the moon. I mean, reddit just spent all our money buying the floating rock. The government required an astronomical amount of funds for the purchase and the rest went to legal fees from all the other countries suing reddit for purchasing something that belongs to humanity. 
 
 `` We are humanity!'' exclaimed a majority of reddit users, which eventually won us the case. 
 
 Dickbutt was only the beginning though. Thanks to an anonymous donor that built and sent a huge laser to reddit as a secret santa gift. They used it to mark reddit's newly found territory. More memes were to come and in great detail. Soon after, the surface of the moon was a hub of graffiti of all and every meme that had ever found it's way through reddit. 
 
 People exclaimed that this was a travesty, that the purchase should have never happened if... this... was to come of it. After all, the moon in all it's majesty, was a symbol to humanity and a first glimpse for all mankind to the wonders of the universe. Now it's just a floating wad of toilet paper for the internet to smear its shit onto. 
 
 It was n't long after that reddit sent out a satellite to orbit around the moon. It acted as a mirror to etch on the dark side of the moon. Now it's covered in the most prolific and vile things to ever posted on reddit. 
 
 I'm not sure what reddit has planned to do next with the moon. Some speculate that we're sending robots to mine the ores and riches of the moon. They think that reddit can become vastly rich off the spoils of the moon, share that wealth, and create of utopia on earth. Others think it's a conspiracy. That the government now controls reddit and uses the graffiti as a front to cover what they're actually doing. They say the government is going to colonize, mine, and weaponize the moon. No one really knows. 
 
 I grew sick as to how `` big'' of an ordeal this became, what reddit has become. I deleted my account and tried to forget the whole ordeal and move on with my life. However, that was all in vain really, because whenever I look out to the night sky I see it, staring at me with his smug, glazed eyes and a wiener hanging out his butt. 
 
 Dickbutt forever stands guard over humanity. 
 
 
 Edit: Fixed a few sentences. 

