[ WP ] You are a dying structural engineer who specialises in tunnels . On your deathbed , you see the light at the end of the tunnel , and notice several glaring design flaws . You storm off into the light to tell whatever deity is there that `` No , no , no , this is all wrong ! ''

After entering the light you immediately start yelling out, `` Who in god's good name is in charge here?!'' 
 
 You are directed every which way until the deity you are looking for comes to you. 
 
 `` Hello Mr. VonSchwartz, we are delighted to have you join us in heaven! Take a seat over in the auditorium if you would, orientation starts in five minutes.'' 
 
 `` Oh, I do n't know who you are, but you are coming with me. I'm not in heaven yet.'' 
 
 You drag the deity by his collar back to the tunnel. 
 
 `` Were you in charge of this tunnel?'' 
 
 `` Ah yes! The tunnel leading to the light, indeed, it is a Heavenite favorite. I am the god of heaven and designed this place personally, before your universe even existed.'' 
 
 `` No. It is all wrong. I do n't know if you were going for design over function or what but this tunnel is not even remotely up to code. This tunnel passed directly under the river of life and look,'' you point at the corners of each side of the row, `` no drainage whatsoever. This place is a death trap, no pun intended.'' 
 
 `` Uh well,'' the deity pauses, `` I guess we can...'' and you cut him off. 
 
 `` No we ca n't, I can. I will take responsibility for fixing that. But that is only a single issue. Also, no ventilation. Get a few hundred people in here, this place will fill up with CO2. Let's get some fans going, get some air moving. This is literally week one stuff.'' 
 
 `` Okay,'' responded god, implying that he would wait til Mr. VonSchwartz was done before commenting. 
 
 `` Next, just the structure. The structure itself is flawed. Thankfully I do n't think this tunnel supports much weight, cuz if it did, any added pressure would likely cause a cave in and then as we know it all hell breaks loose, literally. I ca n't even imagine what terrible things would happen to heaven or earth if the tunnel was n't functional.'' 
 
 `` Oh, actually it supports the weight of Hell. Hell was built on top. You see that fork back there? That road leads to Hell.'' 
 
 `` God dammit, I mean, uh... you really should know better. You really should,'' you say as you grasp and massage your temples. `` I wo n't mention anything else, but I have a lot of work to do. Send some other structural engineers my way so we can work out how to fix all this. The delicacy of this situation ca n't be understated. Now, if you would n't mind, leave me to work, please. I want to get started immediately.'' 
 
 The deity wandered back toward the light whilst scratching his head and thinking of who to send to help. He was starting to wish he had just made more floods back on earth since they all so effortlessly disrespected him. They did n't fear him, they did n't worship him. Another *bad day* sticker was about to go on the fridge.
