[ WP ] You discover that your girlfriend 's recent ill-health and weight loss is due to her being a succubus who stopped feeding after falling in love with you .

“ Are you completely daft? ” Bran asked as he was hurriedly attempting to take care of my girlfriend, Elinielle. 
 
 “ What do you mean? I ’ ve been trying to get her to go to the doctor but she just won ’ t listen. She ’ s wasting away but she won ’ t eat. I ’ ve tried bringing her all kinds of things but nothing seems to interest her. ” 
 
 “ Jesus H Christ, you really are a dumb bloke, aren ’ t you? ” 
 
 Bran and Elinielle had been best friends for a number of years. He never seemed to like me but lately his attitude towards me has gotten even worse. 
 
 “ Look, Bran, I know you want what is best for her and I ’ m trying my best to help but I don ’ t know what you want from me. ” 
 
 “ Steve, let me ask you, have you ever noticed her skin, how sometimes it has an almost shine to it while other times she is rather pale and dull? And how about her hair, ever notice how it goes from a really dull brown, like now, to a really shiny red, like overnight with no trip to the salon? ” 
 
 “ Well, I, I guess I always thought it was either new makeup or she ’ d colored her hair. ” 
 
 “ Sure, Steve, that was it. Well, how about just after sex, does she ever appear different? ” 
 
 “ I ’ m not going to discuss this with you. ” 
 
 “ Think about it Steve, has she ever appeared to look different just after you guys have hooked up? ” 
 
 “ Well, yeah, there ’ s the fresh fucked look but that ’ s completely normal. ” 
 
 “ No, Steve, that isn ’ t completely normal. Your girlfriend here is a fecking succubus. She ’ s a succubus Steve and she ’ s recently decided to stop feeding because she wants to live happily ever after with you. Bloody hell. ” 
 

