[ WP ] The people sent a human sacrifice to the gods . The gods want them to take it back .

There's an important rule when it comes to sacrificing to the gods: Give your best. 
 
 So, if you're sacrificing a bit of your meal, you'd give the warmest piece of bread and the bloodiest piece of meat and the juiciest piece of fruit. 
 
 When choosing a human to sacrifice, you must chose the most beautiful, the most intelligent, the most strong. 
 
 But it's hard to pick when it comes to child sacrifices. You can quickly sort out which ones are complete brats. But then you're left with all these adorable little cherubs who are equally good at division ( they're not ). 
 
 At that point, it's a bit like playing Russian Roulette. Pick a kid and hope the gods like him or her. 
 
 This time, it was a precious little girl. Her dark hair was combed and washed. She was dressed in a sweet white dress. And then she was sent into the forest where all sacrifices were sent. None ever returned. 
 
 Once she had disappeared and all ceremony was over, everyone went home. 
 
 Her father had mixed feelings. He was so, so honored they had chosen her to be the one to serve the gods. But, he missed her dearly and mourned her loss. His wife herself had been sacrificed for several years ago. Now, he was alone. 
 
 He was lying in bed that same night, trying to get some amount of sleep ( and failing ), when there was a knock on the door. 
 
 He wondered who it could be. An Elder to assure him of how great a sacrifice has been made? It was very, very late for someone to be coming by. 
 
 He headed for the door and opened it up. The first thing he saw was a man. An unbearably handsome man, but one who looked utterly exhausted. 
 
 `` You have to take her back,'' the stranger said, his voice reflecting how tired he was. 
 
 `` What?'' the father echoed, unsure of what the man meant. 
 
 But then there was the loud and happy cry of, `` Daddy!'' and his little girl was diving into his arms. 
 
 Immediately he lifted her and held her close. He kissed her head and squeezed her tight. 
 
 The father heard a sigh of relief from the stranger. `` So you will take her back?'' 
 
 The father stared for a moment. `` What? Who are you?'' 
 
 The stranger crossed his arms. `` I am Tubkicid.'' 
 
 The father took a step back, confused now. `` Tubkicid? You're telling me you're the god Tubkicid?'' 
 
 Tubkicid nodded. `` Yes. I come on behalf of all the gods.'' 
 
 The father looked at his daughter and then back at the god. `` You mean... You came to return her? Why? That's never happened before.'' 
 
 Tubkicid looked at the girl, and somehow appeared even more tired than he was before. `` Look,'' he began. `` We're grateful, okay? You people, you always send us your best. Your most beautiful, most intelligent, most strong... Today, you clearly decided to send someone who trumped all the rest. You sent us your most energetic, precocious, annoying child I have ever seen in my life.'' 
 
 The father only looked at the god blankly. So, the god continued, `` She would n't stop talking. Telling us all about her home and you, her father. And she would *not* run out of energy! She kept spinning in circles - she puked on three separate gods, and then just kept going. She ran up and down and on top of things. I mean, sure, she kept the dog entertained for a while, but she even wore him out! And then she would n't stop interrupting our conversations, joining them like she might as well be a part of them... Please. We'll offer you anything. Please just take her back. The only reason she's being quiet right now is because I offered her an entire pie if she would just shut up for a while. And we ca n't constantly feed her pie! That's no way to take care of a child.'' 
 
 There was a lot for the father to think about right now. But he was a very quick thinker. He set his daughter down between them and crossed his arms. He was taking a very dangerous gamble. But he felt the rewards outweighed the risks. 
 
 `` Well, I do n't know. We took the time to send you our absolute best, and you're just going to bring her back? Completely thankless.'' 
 
 Tubkicid's mouth dropped and then he shook his head frantically. `` No, no, it's not like *that*. We just... look, we'll give you anything. Just take her back. Please.'' 
 
 The father pretended to consider this. `` Anything?'' he echoed. Tubkicid nodded earnestly. `` Well... if you're not going to accept our sacrifice, then I do n't see any reason we should offer you any more children. Or humans at all, actually. I'll take her back, but we'll only send animals after that.'' 
 
 Tubkicid frowned. For a moment, that father was afraid he was going to deny the offer. But his little girl suddenly spoke up and declared, `` No dogs! We like the dogs. And the cats. And the turtles. And the mice. And the - `` 
 
 `` Okay, okay!'' Tubkicid interrupted, throwing his hands up. `` Only animals! But no dogs, cats, turtles or mice. Will you keep her now?'' 
 
 The father shrugged. `` Sure. So long as you send a clear message to the Elders of the new law. And give my daughter the pie you promised.'' 
 
 The father never thought he'd see such a look of relief on a man, much less a god. `` Yes. Yes. All of the above.'' A pie appeared in his hands. He held it down to the little girl who took it immediately. 
 
 And then Tubkicid was gone. 
 
 The little girl looked up at her father, who smiled. `` Come on. You earned that pie.'' 
 
 The little girl grinned and followed her father inside. At the table, as she enjoyed her very delicious pie, her father asked her, `` Were n't you told you were supposed to be respectful and quiet for the gods?'' 
 
 The little girl nodded right away. `` Yep. I was quiet and nice and all. But they took us out of the forest and to a new place and mommy was there.'' 
 
 The father was struck into silence for a moment. `` Mommy was there?'' 
 
 The little girl nodded. `` Yep. Mommy said I should just be myself. I did n't have to worry about being good and quiet. So I was myself.'' 
 
 The father smiled. `` Your mother was the most intelligent,'' he said with a nod. `` You did real good, sweetheart.'' 
 
 `` Can I have pie all the time?'' 
 
 `` No.''
