[ WP ] You 're a police officer on your way to arrest a man for trespassing and disturbing the peace . When you get to the scene , the man is dead and your only suspects are 4 teenagers and their talking Great Dane . Whodunnit ?

`` Like, zoinks man! He's dead.'' 
 
 `` Alright, I've got some questions here.'' I say, the first officer on the scene. 
 
 `` Rut-roe, we did n't do anything.'' 
 
 `` Holy shit'' I exclaim, `` did that dog just fucking talk? That's amazing.'' 
 
 `` No, he did n't. You got a contact high from Shaggy.'' Says the one wearing the ascot. `` And, this man was trying to scare away the guests. You see, he's wearing a mask.'' 
 
 `` I can see he's wearing a mask. He's been shot 8 times. I know he's not a ghost. Who shot him?'' 
 
 No one speaks. 
 
 `` What are your names?'' 
 
 `` I'm Fred. This is Shaggy.'' He points to the intoxicated one. `` Daphne is wearing that sexy purple number, and the other one is Velma. She's the worst.'' 
 
 `` We did n't do it officer.'' Pleads the one in the orange sweater. He does n't believe her. 
 
 `` Well, I'll have to take you in for questioning, and I'd like to take a look in your van.'' 
 
 `` No way, man! He'll find my... ah... Indian head nickels.'' 
 
 `` Sorry, I'm just going to call in some backup.'' I turn on my radio and call in. `` This is Rogers. Gon na need backup. We got a 187.'' I pause. `` No, not a cotton candy machine malfunction, a murder. Is that really a code?'' I shake my head. `` Look, I have probable cause to search your van. I do n't care if you've got some weed.'' 
 
 Fred opens the door. I walk in and see a.44 revolver on the floor. I step back out. 
 
 `` You're under arrest. It's interrogation time.'' I always wanted to say that. 
 
 We haul all of them back to the station and lock them up. The Chief recognizes them from somewhere. I had to admit the dog looked strangely familiar. We interrogate them one at a time. Daphne does n't say much, but she pulls the Basic Instinct trick. I do n't mind. She does n't seem to know much though. Velma comes in and talks our ears off about everything except the vic. She pulls the Basic Instinct maneuver repeatedly. Once from Daphne was more than enough. Fred comes in and blames everything on Shaggy. Then, the story gets real crazy. The man in the ghost suit owed them money, a lot of money. Shaggy was a drug dealer hauling around H who had taken them by force along with the dog who shot the guy when he could n't pay up. Chemical testing confirms that Shaggy fired the revolver. 
 
 Still, something does n't sit right with me. I talk to Shaggy alone. His story is much different. He sits in a puddle of his own excrement, he's so afraid. 
 
 `` What really happened out there?'' 
 
 `` I ca n't tell you, man. Like fucking zoiks, man, you do n't even know.'' 
 
 `` I want to know. Tell me the truth.'' 
 
 `` Where is he?'' 
 
 `` Fred?'' 
 
 `` No man, the dog. What is Scooby Doo? Where are you, man?'' 
 
 `` He's in a back office. Why?'' 
 
 `` He can fucking talk, man.'' 
 
 `` Okay, and?'' I thought he'd spoken to me. 
 
 `` He's Satan incarnate, man. He finds these guys who are hiding gold somewhere on their land or whatever, and he makes us kill them. If we do n't, he tortures us mentally. He's evil, man.'' 
 
 I laugh. It's ridiculous. 
 
 `` I know you do n't believe me, but test the other three. Each of us shot him twice.'' 
 
 I stare at him for a good thirty seconds. I only have Fred who named him as a shooter. I leave the room and talk to the Chief. He does n't care, so we test them. Fuck it, man, I ca n't believe it. Shaggy is right. So, then, I do the craziest thing in my career. I bring the dog into interrogation. I ask him questions, but he just smiles at me. I could have sworn he talked to me earlier, but I let him go. 
 
 The dog is sent to a shelter, and we book the teenagers on murder charges. I want to keep my job, and I've made enough of a mockery already. I pass him, Scooby Doo, in the hallway on his way to a new home. I could have sworn he was laughing at me.
