[ PI ] World Breaker - FirstChapter - 2188 Words

Hello! 
 
 I'm one of the people judging your group, so let me start off my congratulating you on finishing your entry! I like the raw, rough, first-draft feel of this! The dialogue was quite nice, felt very smooth. The protagonist was interesting, you portrayed a wide variety of emotions that a young character would go through, especially with all of the strange events happening. My only criticism would be that it could be tightened up a tad bit, but that's just because it's a raw first draft, so that's not an issue at all: ) 
 
 Good work, and best of luck in the contest!
