[ WP ] Multiple nuclear explosions wipe out several cities in the middle east , but noone knows who deployed the weapons . This is the resulting UN emergency meeting .

`` Alright, I'm sure you've all heard about the recent developments in the Middle East. Anybody care to speak up?'' 
 
 Simultaneously, all the heads in the room turned towards the United States delegate. The tension instantly became palpable as the silence hung in the air as the US delegate looked around the room, eyebrow raised in confusion. 
 
 Then, it dawned on her. 
 
 `` Oh yeah, sure. Nuke all the turbans because we're fucking'MURICA! Give your oil to the land of the trigger-happy, home of the obese or we'll shove 200 megatons of freedom down your face.'' she responded, her voice dripping with sarcasm. 
 
 `` It was n't us, you utter twats. Though our CIA knows that Japan's been up to more than next-gen consoles and DSLR cameras.'' she added, casting an accusatory glance at the opposite end of the room. 
 
 BAM! 
 
 The Japanese delegate smashed his fit onto the desk and stood up with indignant rage. The Indian delegate next to him rolled back a few feet on his chair, eyes wide in shock at the splintered pieces of wood on the floor. 
 
 `` クソ野郎!! You bombed Hiroshima. You bombed Nagasaki. And now you accuse us of committing your trademarked atrocity against other countries!? Why do n't you tell everybody how you're itching to sue the culprit for taking your signature move whenever things get hard?'' 
 
 `` QUUUUIIIIEEEEEEEEEEET!!'' a high-pitched voice shrieked. 
 
 `` Good lord, 63 years of politics and things never change,'' the voice sighed. `` I've been in power before any of your had your balls drop or been visited by the breast fairy, so why not shut up and put your butts in your seats?'' 
 
 The room settled down and turned their attention to the UK delegate. To their surprise, Queen Elizabeth herself showed up. 
 
 `` After everything I've seen the past few decades, this has only cemented my resolve,'' she continued. `` The United Kingdom nuked the Middle East.'' 
 
 The entire room had frozen. 
 
 `` Why?'' asked the Japanese delegate, the veins in his hand still taut with rage from US's accusation. 
 
 `` It's simple, my dear. The Pope asked me to.''
