[ WP ] Shakespeare and Eminem get into a rap battle ...

`` You write like a straight dyke, on a bad night without a fleshlight.'' 
 
 *Oooooh*. Shakespeare was not accustomed to being verbally assaulted in the street whilst in the presence of his entourage, so he turned and threw a dirty look to his curiously dressed assailant. 
 
 `` Thou wishest thy days were longer than thine nights, for't is not unknown for beggars to last very long in the company of men.'' 
 
 *Aaaahh*. Eminem grinned at his entourage and adjusted his cap, making settle-down movements with his hands so he could unleash his comeback. 
 
 `` Dirty talk for a dude who loves to squawk at little kids, little sick, ya little prick, I can only guess you got a little -'' 
 
 `` Sir, you have forsaken your right to speech, for what you preach is little more than public prattle, fed to cattle, that of which you willingly swallow - for even mice like to feel less hollow.'' 
 
 `` Booom, mister write-a-rhyme must-a skipped his own class, if he thinks the whole world do n't know what he wants up his ass.'' 
 
 `` Fool, I care not from whence cave you came but tis clear my name reverberates amongst the ears of the sane, and to scour the sewers for your claim to fame warrants no search, mister nincomrhombulus.'' 
 
 `` Listen up do - wait, what did you say?'' Eminem said, genuinely confused. 
 
 `` What do you mean?'' asked Shakespeare going slightly red. 
 
 `` That last part. You called me something.'' 
 
 `` Oh it was just a name,'' he said, suddenly more interested in inspecting the ground. 
 
 Someone in the crowd perked up with: `` I think he said'Nincomrhombulus''', followed by murmurs of agreement even within Shakespeare's entourage. 
 
 `` So what if I did?'' said Shakespeare. 
 
 `` You ca n't just make shit up, dude.'' 
 
 `` Of course I can,'' he said, suddenly fixing Eminem with an intense steely gaze. `` I'm motherfucking Shakespeare.''
