[ WP ] An alien race far more powerful than humans has to come to destroy Earth , but are scared off after a few incredibly lucky encounters with humans .

Platforms 34 and 35 could n't help but exhale in relief as they received their assignment. Whereas many of their fellow clones had been tasked with venturing into the realms of technologically advanced civilizations, their job was to survey *Earth. * Earth! The joke of the galaxy, the short space-bus of the known universe. 
 
 Thirty-four was already planning his next vacation while 35 performed the pre-flight checks in their observation vehicle. 
 
 `` You know 35, it's going to be a long trip,'' slurred 34 as the cryogenic injections began their work. `` But you know what you get when you add 34 and - `` 
 
 `` No it's not, and yes I do,'' snapped 35. Mother of Xenu, the idiot was already starting. 
 
 -- 
 
 The two platforms woke from the long nap within minutes of each other just in time to witness Earth emerge from behind its moon. It was even more pathetic in person! Over 70 % percent of the surface covered in liquid and uninhabitable. Densely packed lights showed some signs of intelligence on the planet's dark side - at least they'd discovered the microtransistor! - but for each illuminated city, there were countless square miles of darkness. 
 
 `` I ca n't believe we're getting paid for this,'' laughed 34. `` We could probably conquer this planet all by ourselves!'' 
 
 While 35 was secretly excited as well, she maintained her professionalism and ordered the ship's AI to display a collage of the planet's media. Dozens of holograms painted the interior of the craft, each showing a different form of media currently being accessed on Earth. Movies. Music. Games. These were things that represented the creativity of any civilization... or lack thereof. 
 
 `` Half these things are about'superheroes,''' observed 35. `` Do they wish that desperately to ascend past their humanity? Actually, I do n't blame them,'' she backtracked. `` Of course they idolize superhumans when the natural human form is so unreliable.'' 
 
 `` That's what happens when you let'natural selection' take over instead of forced mutation,'' observed 34. ``'Shit,' is what happens, as they put it.'' He pointed to a bumper sticker that was suddenly projected a few feet from their visual receptors. 
 
 `` The one thing primitive races have going for them - which was controversial for us to erase, if you recall - is their own capacity for reproduction,'' said 35. `` Instead of having to sign a contract to construct a new platform, they just reproduce whenever they want.'' As if to support her point, Mysterio from South Park holographically appeared and growled, `` I. CA N'T. DIE.'' 
 
 `` For a species so obsessed with'superhumans' and invincibility and immortality, they do n't realize how close they are to immortality as a whole. Instinctively reproducing with no end in sight.'' 
 
 Already losing interest in his copilot's monologue, 34 interjected, `` Maybe you and I could learn a thing or two from - `` 
 
 He was cut off not by 35, but by a dramatic occurrence in the hologram array. Each screen had simultaneously changed to display the same message in red on black: 
 
 [ `` We are here. Prepare yourself, mortals. `` ] ( https: //www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/3jxjbm/wp_all_electronic_devices_suddenly_have_the/ ) 
 
 The respiration units on both platforms temporarily froze. How was this possible? Did the humans know they were being observed? 
 
 ``'We are here,''' 34 repeated shakily, never looking away from the message surrounding him. `` Are they threatening us? Are they saying'Come get us, we're waiting?''' 
 
 `` We're done here,'' said 35 in a panic, erasing the holograms and setting a course for home. `` I do n't know how they did it, but they just did something they should n't be able to do. We're leaving before they decide to show off anymore.'' 
 
 `` Time for another nap, I guess,'' said 34 in an attempt to bring some levity back to their craft. `` Hopefully I do n't have any nightmares.''
