[ WP ] Due to a misunderstanding the hero arrives at the tower , defeats the princess , and marries the dragon .

`` Martha?'' his voice echoed through the cavernous hall to the stoney foyer. `` Martha, who is it?'' 
 
 Martha returned to the bedroom, her flared nostrils steaming. She spoke through heaving breaths: 
 
 `` No one, dear. It was no one.'' 
 
 `` Another one of those little bastards running around, I'd gather. Did you give it to them good, dear?'' 
 
 `` No sir, it was a delivery.'' 
 
 `` Delivery? What delivery? Martha, do n't lie to me. I can see the smoke on your breath.'' 
 
 Martha sulked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to prepare the dinner. She watched the smoldering body through the window. 
 
 `` Stupid kids do n't know how to show respect. They get what they deserve.'' 
 
 `` Martha,'' his voice bellowed into the kitchen. `` Do n't forget to clean my spectacles.'' 
 
 The once-prince was aging. She knew this. She had forgotten this when they met. Humans age quickly. But she made a commitment and was determined to see in through. 
 She can still see him to this day. He was shining. He flew in on his steed and climbed the tower like an ape. It was majestic to watch. In fact, his speed was such that it caught her off guard. 
 
 She still thinks about when he killed that bitch. The story still warms her heart. She would n't accept his advances then and there, the wily risk-taker he. Something about a killer dragon flapping it's wings right outside the window. She could n't see from her vantage as the princess fought him off. The final moment still glows like the bones of a pubescent child in flames: `` So I took out my sword and cut her clear off.'' 
 Martha let out a snort as Bill snailed into the room. 
 
 `` What's funny?'' 
 
 Martha jumped. 
 
 `` Oh Bill, you're out of bed.'' 
 
 `` And? So?'' 
 
 Martha beamed. 
 
 `` You look well!'' 
 
 `` Well enough to eat.'' 
 
 `` Shall we eat at the table tonight?'' 
 
 `` I do n't care,'' he muttered. 
 
 Bill with his cane walked past the joyful reptile, his wife, through the kitchen, and to the front door. Due to the huge size of the room and his lack of speed, it took all of ten minutes. Martha realized what he was doing. It was five minutes too late. 
 
 `` Bill, wait, I can --'' 
 
 `` Damnit beast,'' Bill shouted as he pulled the door open. `` Delivery, my ass.'' 
 
 `` I can explain.'' 
 
 `` Explain what? Another of my kin decimated in my front yard?'' 
 
 `` Bill, they ruined you! They made a joke of you!'' 
 
 Martha pounded her fists on the counter and the whole house shook. Bill nearly fell to the ground, as several dishes had with a crash. 
 
 `` You vile creature! I've had it with you.'' 
 
 Bill made his way back to the kitchen, but Martha flew out the backdoor in a huff. Bill watched with disdain as she flew away from their mountain down to the city below. His eyes grew bigger with every spout of flame that stretched forth from her lips. No more than an hour later, the whole thing was crisp. 
 
 Bill looked out beneath the wrinkled white of his brow and wept: 
 
 His would-be kingdom was now in embers.
