[ WP ] One day at work , a coworker jokingly shouts : `` If you love [ name of home state ] so much , then why do n't you go marry it ? '' You laughed and responded : `` Yeah , I wish ! '' The next morning , you wake up married to a personification of your home state .

My eyes fluttered open but I saw the laser projection of my clock. Still too early. I turn over and close my eyes again... only to hear a very pestering sound. 
 
 It sounded much like clicking, like someone would do with their tongue to call a cat over or something. Except this was way to loud and distinct to be a person. Not to mention I lived alone... 
 
 I turn over to my other side, and come face to face with a crab the size of a human being. 
 
 `` AHHHHH'' I yelled. A real charming approach, I know. 
 
 It responded with more clicking sounds, by now I had jumped out of bed and was cowering in the corner of my room. After a good 5 minutes of yelling my lungs out I ran out of energy to yell, so I silently clung to the wall, and just hoped to god it did n't decide to come over to me. 
 
 Did I mention it was also wearing a white gown? You sort of miss those things at first, but I regained most of my senses after a bit. I slowly made my way to the door, then bolted out, slamming it behind me. I collected myself. Like hell I would let that thing take my room. There was only one way I knew how to deal with crabs... 
 
 I did n't have the tools to do what I wanted, so I had to make a trip to the store. It took a few hours, but I managed to buy a sledgehammer and a tub of Old Bay the size of a gallon jug. 
 
 Like hell I would let it take my room. 
 
 
 *I'm from Maryland. And nobody said the personification had to be human.: ^ )
