[ WP ] War breaks out between the legions of hell and heaven , humanity joins and surprisingly is winning against both

Leraje, captain of thirty legions of demon warriors and master tactician of ranged combat, missed the Germanic tribes. 
 
 They had really known how to put on a show; running into battle brightly painted and hopped up on amphetamines, uttering battle cries that could make his own legion shudder, smashing into the ranks of their enemies with no apparent care for their own well being. Even the archers, who Leraje was responsible for backing, kept long daggers to hack at their opponents with given the chance. 
 
 When the new ground war was announced, Leraje had been excited to return. Another chance to march his legions over the earth and clash with Heavens soldier and maybe even get some of those crazy painted warriors on their side, but those days were gone. 
 
 Those ravenous warriors he'd remembered had lost out in the long run. Human soldier had lost their style points and followed the boring Roman way of battle; order, training, superior equipment, not a single amphetamine-addled screamer. 
 
 The angels, those naive blonde fucks in their stupid white flowing robes, were down for fight. Apparently Heavens intelligence had dried up around 10 CE and the angels had flown back down to make their reappearance with flaming swords and shining armor, all of which just made them easier targets for a terrified humanity. Having no backing from God who had washed his hands of humanity after the whole cross incident, the heavenly host of platinum blonde legions had n't even reached Hells front lines before they were wiped out. 
 
 The gnashing, howling host of demons waiting to ripe the angels from the sky had taken a confused pause when they did n't show up. Although they were not given much time to be confused. Satan ordered their first incursion in the holy lands to spite God. Unfortunately, the `` Gaza strip'' or whatever humanity called it today, was n't a friendly place. Samyaza and Vapula had the honors of leading the infantry, something Leraje had envied until they were shredded by all the local `` peace keeping forces.'' 
 
 That had really set the ton for the war as a whole. The crowded and vicious hordes of squishy pink humans washed over their supernatural foes, overjoyed at the prospect of new lands to conquer. Heaven was being rebuilt by the UN and Hell looked like it was up next with the remaining princes of Hell barely holding the gate against the lazy artillery barrages the humans were throwing their way. 
 
 Leraje still did miss the screaming Germanic warriors, but this calmer approach to war did have it's benefits. When the tide of war was made clear and Leraje had begged to switch sides his request had been granted. Apparently the North Americans had once had good luck poaching people from a regime worst than Hell's for their space program, so they had been fairly open to the idea. 
 
 Instead of archers, he was now in charge of the artillery now fixed on Hell's gates. Though he felt a shadow of guilt at turning on his comrades, the demon captain could n't help feeling excited at the chance to exact revenge on those `` princes'' who had looks down him for so long, and this way he did not have to face the now immortal soldiers of the UN who cycled down from colonized Heaven every time they were shot. Though perhaps he could get a place in that cycle if he showed true reformation. Fucking humans, they have all the luck.
