[ WP ] The nation is on high alert after a string of acid attacks on celebrities leaves some of Hollywood 's most famous faces disfigured . What happens next , however , is as fantastic as any Hollywood movie .

There was only one celebrity who would be safe from the recent spree of serial career-ending facial disfigurements - Mickey Rourke. 
 
 Mickey flipped through the cass file. He could n't recognize who the victims were, but apparently 2-Chainz, John Mayer, and Meryl Streep were the latest to lose face. 
 
 Mickey closed the case file, closed his eyes and looked up solemnly. 
 
 `` Where do I start?..'' 
 
 `` We believe Miley Cyrus is next on his list.'' 
 
 Rain continued to pour and drip off Mickey's hooded black trenchcoat. He had stopped now in front of the neon orange, pink, and green that illuminated the back-alley New York club. He took a deep breath, then made his way past the bouncer through the door. 
 
 Past the bar, dancefloor, and drunken conversations Mickey made his way to the VIP. He slipped the security guard a twenty and walked in. 
 
 Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga had their hands all over each other's naked bodies and their tongues in each other's throats. 
 
 An `` oh yeah,'' and a `` I like that'' came from the corner of the room, where Bill O'Reilly was stroking himself to the scene in his chair. 
 
 Suddenly a gurgling scream came from outside the room. The door opened and the body of the security guard slumped in. Mickey braced for a fight. O'Reilly screamed in terror but managed to ejaculate anyways. 
 
 Mickey felt a hard kick in his chest and he tumbled over. A sleek black figure shot through the door wielding a bright silver knife. Before he could get his pants up, Bill's face looked like swiss cheese with raspberry jam dripping from the holes. Gaga crawled desperately away, but the knife had caught her under the chin and slid up peeling her face like the skin of a potato. Her eyes bulged from her meaty skinless face. 
 
 Miley must have been really high because during all of this she was just swinging around the pole and twerking. The knife flashed out and ripped her two nostrils into one in a bloody slash. The assailant went for another strike but Mickey pulled him from the back of his head. The knife was sent clattering and the two of them rolled backwards and scrambled to their feet. 
 
 The mask of the figure had been undone. A smile was carved from the edges of his lips. Heath pulled out another knife and tapped it against the side of his face. `` Why so serious?'' 

