[ WP ] `` So what do you do ? '' `` I 'm a ninja-dragon slayer . '' `` Um , what ? '' `` Have you every seen a ninja-dragon ? '' Well , no . '' `` You 're welcome . ''

The greatest movie action movie star in history and President of the United States Lorenzo Llamas smiled. He enjoyed this kind of silly banter with children. Children were always honest; and it was refreshing to speak to another human being who wasn ’ t in outright awe of the President, the greatest action movie star in history, and the slayer of the Ninja-Dragons. 
 
 President Llamas smiled and he began to move along the tour of Mrs. Buttersby ’ s first-grade class. One great pleasure he took as President was occasionally personally leading these kinds of tours for a lucky group of children. It put things in perspective for him. It reminded him that things weren ’ t always like this, and never to take anything for granted. 
 
 Nearly 20 years ago, a radioactive comet struck the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, Georgia. The contained germs that had once been the scourge of humanity were released, mixed with the remnants of the comet and transformed the local population into NINJA-DRAGONS. 
 
 The Ninja-Dragons spread across the globe, reaping destruction and chaos everywhere they went. Humanity was desperate. Since Ninja-Dragons were produced in part from a radioactive comet, that meant they were immune to nuclear weapons. That ’ s just common sense. Let ’ s not be ridiculous. Even an elite team of extremely attractive, multi-racial, multi-national giant robot pilots proved ineffectual. 
 
 For no particular reason, and at some random, haughty and arbitrary point that would not seem to make a great deal of sense, it was discovered that the comet that crashed into the CDC was sent to Earth by a malevolent alien civilization that concluded Ninja-Dragons were the most efficient way to wipe out humanity. In response, a quirky computer hacker tried to upload a virus into the alien mainframe, but this too failed. 
 
 Humanity was doomed. Its greatest minds – the ones who came up with the idea to build giant robots, to upload viruses to the alien mainframe, and that nuclear weapons obviously wouldn ’ t work against the Ninja-Dragons were dead or scattered about the Earth. But, while the Ninja-Dragons had successfully unlocked the key to interstellar travel, could direct comets to strike wherever they pleased, they could not account for one thing: the greatest action movie star in history and secret ninja, Lorenzo Llamas. 
 
 Most people remember Lorenzo Llamas for his cinematic masterpieces such as *Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus* and *Gladiator Cop. * Only his inner circle knew that he was 17th generation ninja, descended from the legendary Oroku Saki. And, obviously, only a NINJA can slay a NINJA-DRAGON. 
 
 The young child looked up at President Llamas as a pair of double-doors burst opened and the President ’ s cabinet led by Secretary of Defense Jean Claude Vann Damme dramatically walked through. Each wore a grave and concerned expression. 
 
 “ Children! ” President Llamas said warmly, trying to show no concern, “ This is Secretary of Defense of Van Damme. Who can tell me what a… ” 
 
 The President was cut off as Van Damme whispered quietly, but urgently into his ear: “ They ’ re back. ” 
 
 

