[ WP ] Aliens find us and think we are so tiny and adorable that they treat us like little pets , but for whatever reason we all love it

Six weeks ago they had landed, declared themselves delegates from some intergalaxial UN that had so happened to hear one of our broadcasts. It took a few days to figure all this out because they had landed in the Milwaukee comic convention and only spoke Portuguese. Once that was all sorted out various leaders from across the globe came to greet the visitors; visitors with twelve arm-like claws bristling from their sides and a penchant for Brazilian telenovelas. After a week or so of tentative, hesitant summits tensions began to mount on the human side of things. A great and noble Finish minister of state threatened one of the beings with a smuggled pistol. Surprised the being let out a charming squawk and unfurled its claws. The bone appendage reached rapidly behind both the minister and his Angolan interpreter. The assembled body descended into a panic. Guns were drawn by every guard and alarms sounded. It looked like humanity's first interactions with extraterrestrials were going to end a bit poorly. 
 
 That's when the Finn moaned. The room as a whole paused. The Angolan moaned. The room took a cautious step forward. One after another the delegates wrapped their claws around elder statesman after elder statesman. The world was subdued not by force but we are subdued and the world is at peace. 
 
 Why you ask? because they give great back scratches and if you'll excuse me I'm late for my walk.
