[ WP ] How to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Tommy Mayhem bounced across the surface of the alien planet. Sparks flew from the tip of his lasergun as he blasted the attacking dinosaurs. Triumphantly, he jumped through the entrance to their lair, lasers booming. 
 
 “ Tomas R. Fletcher, you stop that racket this instant! ” his mother chided. Tommy looked into her sad eyes and gave up on protest. With a rattle, the broom fell to the floor at his feet. This time with understanding she said, “ The grownups are talking sweetie, ” and held out a hand to her son. 
 
 Tommy fiddled in his mother ’ s embrace while the others talked in hushed tones. Shorty, he pulled from her arms and raced across the room to the man slumped into the couch facing his parents. “ Uncie Joe, I want a PB and J, ” he demanded grasping the man ’ s knee. 
 
 A flash of fear passed over his parents faces. “ No, Tommy. Uncle Joe is tired. I ’ ll make you a sandwich, ” his mother bargained. 
 
 “ But Uncie Joe make ‘ em best, ” Tommy whimpered with the distress only spoiled children know and turned back to pulling on the tired man. 
 
 “ Thomas… ” his mother began before being stopped by Joe ’ s raised trembling hand. 
 
 “ It ’ s alright, ” said Joe and turned to Tommy. “ I ’ ll tell you what. I ’ ll make you a sandwich if you help me make it. ” Tommy hurriedly agreed. Pulling on Joe ’ s finger, Tommy lead him into the kitchen as Joe struggled to keep up. 
 
 With great effort Joe lifted Tommy onto the counter and shuffled to the cupboard. “ Now, Tommy what do we need to make this sandwich? ” he inquired with a knowing tone. 
 
 “ Peanut butter! ” Tommy yelled. 
 
 “ And? ” 
 
 “ Jelly! ” Tommy cheered. 
 
 “ But what kind? ” 
 
 “ um…grape, ” Tommy stated firmly after some serious consideration. 
 
 Joe placed the jars on the counter and scratched his chin doing his best to look perplexed. “ I feel like were missing something. ” 
 
 “ Uh, Bread, ” Tommy smiled and bobbed his head doing his best to be pejorative. 
 
 “ Now, I guess I should just spread this out with my hands. ” 
 
 “ No, you use a knife, ” Tommy smirked, wiggling one hand raised in imitation of someone he saw on TV. 
 
 “ Now, Tommy, ” Joe said with a serious turn. “ There comes a time, a time in ever young man ’ s life when he has to learn to make his own sandwich. Uncle Joe isn ’ t always going to be around to make you peanut butter and jelly, so it time you learned. Do you want to learn how? ” 
 
 Tommy nodded as hard as he could, following the serious tone. “ Good, ” Joe smiled broadly. “ Now, the most important thing is that you buy good peanut butter and good jelly. Never, skimp in life Tom. You may be tempted to go poorer ingredients because they ’ re cheaper or easier to get or because you want them right now. But you have to hold out for the best. If you put good things into it, the sandwich will always come out tasting good. Do you understand? ” Tommy nodded furiously. 
 
 “ Now, the other important thing is that use them in the correct proportions, ” Joe continued beginning to spread the jelly on the bread. “ Jelly is good but too much jelly and the sandwich is ruined. Peanut butt… ” Joe was cut off by a long hacking cough. After a moment he recovered and began again, “ You see Tommy, anything can be good in a sandwich if you have just enough of it. Even anchovies ” he growled mugging a face which elicited the grimace he was looking for in young Tommy. 
 
 Joe flipped the slices together and took the knife to the crusts. “ Now, finally Tommy, the most important thing is this. If there are parts of the sandwich you don ’ t like, don ’ t let that little part ruin the whole sandwich for you. Like these crusts, you just cut them off. You deal with the problem and get back to enjoying the sandwich. Do you understand? ” Tommy nodded more slowly. 
 
 With a flourish, Joe platted the sandwich and proudly presented it to his nephew. “ Any questions? ” he asked. 
 
 Tommy stared down at the sandwich before slowly looking up. “ But Uncie Joe, why won ’ t you be around to make my sandwiches? ” he wondered. 
 
 “ Well Tommy…Uncle Joe is dying which means the sandwich making will be left to you. ” 
 
 “ But why are you dying? ” Tommy asked with a sad innocence. 
 
 “ Uncle Joe has made some mistakes, Tom. Too much jelly not enough peanut butter you might.. ” he trailed off. “ But everyone dies. It ’ s, it ’ s just a part of life. ” 
 
 “ Will my parents die? ” 
 
 “ Yes, but that won ’ t be for a long, long time. ” 
 
 “ But then who will turn on my toons? ” 
 
 “ Like I said Tommy, that won ’ t be for a long time. You ’ ll be able to turn on your own toons then, just like you are now a master sandwich maker. ” 
 
 “ Well, if I ’ m older, I ’ ll probably want to watch the news, ” Tommy said with an air of final comprehension and raced back into the den. 

