[ WP ] `` I hope I 'm not bothering you , good sir . I 'm looking for something that does n't exist . ''

`` I hope I'm not bothering you, good sir, I'm looking for something that does n't exist.'' 
 *Sigh* thought acolyte Harry looking at the smug man in front of him. *Another one*. He plastered a grin onto his face and asked `` and what are you looking for?'' 
 `` Why, proof of your god of course!'' The man's grin ate from the midden, something Harry wish he could make him do. Darn Holy rules. 
 `` I see. Can I enquire if you are a follower of another God, or a non-believer'' *please be another follower, please be anoth... * 
 `` Do I look like I am the sort of gullible fool who fears gods?'' Smugness turned to haughtiness, and the man drew himself up to deliver the tirade he doubtlessly had been thinking up the night before. Harry quickly interrupted; he did n't need to hear *another* reason he was a fool. 
 `` I see. And obviously you'll never be convinced by any so-called'proof' I have, as it is a creation of the natural world.'' Deflating slightly, the man nodded suspiciously. `` Nothing for it... Oh Dad!'' 
 
 *WHAT* 
 
 The syllable rolled along the alley, the breath of the wind. 
 `` Another Atheist. You need to do an Appearance'' 
 
 *GRUMBLE. EVERY OTHER WEEK, IT'S THIS*. A crack of lightning, a grumble of lightning and Harry's God stood in the street, Great and Terrible to behold. Light streamed from the Being, a Divine presence in the mortal realm. The shopkeepers put on sunglasses, having gotten used to the Majesty of His Appearance. 
 
 *I AM THE GOD OF THIS PLACE, OF THE MOUNTAINS AND THE SEA. I WATCH AND CARE FOR MY FOLLOWERS AND GUIDE THEM TO PARADISE. * The Being leant down and prodded the suddenly not so smug man in the chest. 
 *NOW DO YOU BELIEVE, JAMES FRANCIS ARQUOR? * 
 The man, eyes streaming due to the Light, muttered quietly. 
 *AN ILLUSION? WOULD AN ILLUSION KNOW YOU WORE YOUR MOTHER'S DRESS WHEN YOU WERE SEVEN, AND LIKED IT? OR THAT YOU DREAM OF ONE SARAH PLANTER OF... WHAT? OH, RIGHT. * Harry, waving his arms, interrupted his God. The last time He started proving Himself, he gave a lecture on onanism that angered the mothers on the street, and gave their sons... ideas. 
 *NOW GO AND BELIEVE, JAMES. KNOW THAT I AM WATCHING. AND YOU, HARRY* The God turned to his acolyte *STOP CALLING ON ME TO PROVE MYSELF. THIS RELIGION THING WAS YOUR IDEA, YOU DO IT* He sniffed *I'VE NEVER SEEN THE NEED TO ATTRACT FOLLOWERS. THEY KEEP WANTING EARTHLY PROBLEMS SOLVED*. `` Oh come on, Dad. Everyone has a religion. Uncle Frank has one.'' 
 *FRANK IS A POMPOUS ARSE*. Harry winced. The followers of Farook took after their God; pompous and easily offended. *ANYWAY, NOW THAT'S BEEN DEALT WITH, I'M OFF* He looked down the street at the smirking shopkeepers *YOU LOT, DO WHAT'S RIGHT AND MAKE SURE MY SON KEEPS HIS NOSE CLEAN. * Another crack of lightning, and the Being had gone, leaving nothing but his embarrassed son. 
 
 At least, until next week.
