[ WP ] A Man dies and expects to go either Heaven or Hell , only to be told by an Angel that he already was in Hell and now his punishment is over

I woke up to the sound of a door opening, and the last thing I remember was smelling smoke. I heard someone saying, `` I think he needs more clean up'', and then I felt a rush of calmness, as though my mind was soaked in a pristine waterfall. I asked the operator, `` Where am I, am I dead?''. He looked hesitant to answer. Noticing that nobody was around to answer me, he said `` Ya I guess, I think that is what you people call it''. I was confused and starting to struggle to escape but something mysteriously kept me from moving too much. The operator started to panic `` Woah Woah, okay do n't panic. I'll explain. You see, you were in, uhhm.. hell''. Oh wait let me stop with the cognitive inhibitors'' I felt another rush, this time, it was followed by a number of strange realizations, I thought to myself, `` Wait a minute, hell??, I do n't believe in heaven or hell, not even in God, wait.. was I wrong all this time, what about all the science I learnt, evolution...''. He seem to have heard my thoughts, and appeared to be fascinated. He answered, `` Ya, do n't worry, all of that is true, I guess, we can give you the full explanation, you see around 500,000 years ago, we initiated Project Efficient Rehabilitation, which..'' He was interrupted by a women,'' Wait are you even cleared to debrief the prisoners'' she said to the operator. He panicked and said `` I am sorry, he seemed to have a good grasp of things, so I thought I'll explain...''. `` You have got to FOLLOW protocol!'' she screamed, we had two other similar cases today. The operator said, `` Ya I heard a scientist farm exploded, apparently that is why we have so many of them now''. `` What are you even saying, you mean the fire in their place of learning'' said the women. She mumbled `` No wonder you failed Natural Prison Logistics'' as he left the room. 
 
 She turned to me, introduced herself `` Hi, I am Dr. BT. I will be Doctoring for you today, Please let me know if you do not understand me I'll try to frame things so that it is best understood by you, Ask me what ever question you have''. I mumbled `` What is Project Efficient Rehabilitation?''. She sighed, `` Okay, here it is, you see, around 500,000 years ago, we lost funding to construct mind vessels for non-conformant beings, so one of our research units came up with a cost effective plan to harness Level 2 planets to harbour the prisoners there. We somehow got it cleared by the Galactic Ethics Board, mainly thanks to the case made by the Director, Miss Lucy Fer, she got the approval and we seeded some potential species on your planet, with mutations that essentially create another room in their heads for our prisoners. So you were a scientist right, I think you guys called it the neocortex. The mutations were chosen such that neocortex kept increasing in size, but only if it succumbed to the penance the body imposed, such as reproduction, energy gathering etc.'' `` Penance??'' I confusedly asked. `` Oh sorry, I got too carried away'' `` Let me explain'', `` You see, the way evolution works, is things develop only if it is useful for survival, so the parasitic neocortex, was neurochemically slaved to the body's primal desires'', `` In this way, you see we get our automatic development of large number of vessels from evolution, but also, they satisfy the penance requirement for the crimes committed'' ``. She started to look at her watch, then suddenly someone peeped into the room and said `` We have almost fixed it''. Dr. BT then hurriedly finished `` So yeah, we now have a planet filled with vessels with the right penance requirement and living through the Darwinian struggle of the planet would be your punishment. Your time was up so you popped back to us''. She walked out to talk to the person outside the door. 
 
 I was unusually calm and started to take in all the information, as I heard people running around in the corridor. I thought if my life was supposed to be hell, then why was it not so bad then, I mean sure hardships of life do exist, we do not always get what we want, reproductive impulses do sometimes cause more trouble than good, but overall mankind learned to cooperate and give ourselves a good standard of living. Dr. BT then entered the door partially and answered my question after hearing my thoughts, `` Well yeah, Director Lucy became short handed due to funding cuts, so she sort of left your planet on autopilot, and you guys.. well stepped up with your enlightenment and scientific method, but for the majority of its existence the project was pretty successful at its job''. I was shocked, was humanity suppressed all those years, I mean we are essentially the same species as the stone age caveman, but we needed the time to develop, right?. A voice outside, yelled `` Its fixed'', she replied `` Finally, damn these funding issues'', She turned to me and said `` Okay now, the machine is fixed so, get ready'', `` What machine? ``, `` Uhmm.. what do you people call it again..., Ah yes, reincarnation, you see your term is not served completely yet, the time you lived through had to be discounted to be worth only 10 %, because you know,... the scientific progress etc., its okay do n't worry, the Director told me she initiated some recent changes that should send the ball rolling to bring the penance levels back up again, thank you for your cooperation, its always hard to control you people when the auto reincarnation machine is broken'' She then pushed a button and in a flood of confused emotions I gave out a final yell `` Will I remember....'' and went back to sleep.
