[ WP ] You are on your first date with a girl you met through an online dating service . She is like she described in her profile so much so , that you are becoming convinced she is a robot .

`` this ca n't be real. This has to be some sort of TV prank or something, maybe there's cameras around here.'' 
 
 `` nothing on the ceiling just some cracked ceiling titles, maybe I should've suggested a better restaurant. Maybe there's one in that fake bush plant thing in the corner of the room?'' 
 
 `` eeehhh, it's to far off to the right, she would notice me looking at it. She could be wearing one of those undercover body cameras or something.'' 
 
 `` ah crap she just asked me a question. What was it she was telling me? Something about her childhood trip to the Philippines. What was the question? Need something witty to say to cover up the fact that I was n't paying attention.'' 
 
 `` why are you still thinking?! SAY SOMETHING! ACKNOWLEDGE HER!!'' 
 
 `` oh thank god, it was a yes or no question.'' 
 
 `` man how long are they gon na take with the food? It's not like I order a crown lamb roast or something. I ordered a burger, she ordered a pizza, it should n't be taking this long. Maybe it just feel like it is.'' 
 
 `` the conversation been pretty one sided too, so that has n't helped. Which is weird, for the first twenty minutes, this date was awesome. And well it still kinda is! I mean in what world does a girl like this go out like a guy like me!!?'' 
 
 `` maybe I'm in a low budget, artistic indie movie about the not judging a book by its cover.'' 
 
 `` damn she looks like she's getting bored, I need to refocus. I need to excuse myself, well I do have to go to the Bathroom. Do n't say that you need to use the John, last thing I need her thinking is that I'm some kind of slob or something.'' 
 
 `` hm, this place has a pretty decent bathroom! Nice. Man I am dying out there, I was expecting it to be a little awkward since it's my first date. But the reality really is worse than the expectation for me right now.'' 
 
 `` maybe it's cause we had such a good start, yeah that probably it, we hit our stride too early! I was too funny, too charming, I should've dialed it back. And now the high is dead and we're just waiting for the food, so we can awkwardly make dinner conversation and finish the date. Hell I would n't be surprised if she already left, would n't blame her either.'' 
 
 `` man, why is it so fricking hard to talk to her in person!? In the chat room we would talk for hours and still have stuff to say each other the next day! Maybe it was all the shrek memes that I sent to her that kept the conversations fresh.'' 
 
 `` I ca n't let the date go on like this, I have to at least try. She deserves to have good time tonight, if ANYTHING I need to show her a good time. Not just for the sake of our friendship, but because this might be my only shot at a relationship with someone like her.'' 
 
 `` I mean she's just as nice and sweet and interesting in real life as she was on the Internet. And not to be shallow but she looks amazing. She was being very modest when she described herself to me. The hair, those eyes, the way they just pull you in, that butt! Hmmm. H-huh? Did I just, was that last sound audible? Oh god, I just sounded like I was pleasured or something. Whoever's in here will probably think I was jerking off.'' 
 
 `` I've been in the bathroom for awhile, I need to stop monologuing to myself and get out of here before Roselyn thinks that I'm taking a dump. Ugh, that, that would not be a pretty picture for her to have. Unless she's into that type of shit. Hahaha `` shit'', I just made a joke on accident. That would be a good joke to tell at a party, but it'd be kinda of hard to set it up. I'd have to tell it at like a club or some place with alcohol, that way whoever I tell it to will always find it funny!'' 
 
 `` did I wash my hands? Aw heck, I ca n't remember, better wash them again.'' 
 
 `` use the paper towel to open the do, you did not probably wash your hands twice, just to have those disgusting Bactria soil your hands all over again. Wow, look at her, she's still here. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that she's here on a date with me. Maybe in the future when the robopoclyse happens I end up being like a leader or inventor or both that leads the humans to a victory against our robo masters. But the robots had a backup plan where they would send a robot in disguise as a human to the past to kill me, so that way I never lead the humans to they're destruction. I could definitely see her as a robot, no skin problems, reasonably fit, looks naturally beautiful, and when we met outside the restaurant she noticed that tiny piece of string that was on my shirt, fits the bill. It would n't be so bad if she was a robot, I'd probably get to second base on the first date. She'd probably kill me after I did, but for those few moments I could proudly say that a girl let me go to second base with her on the first date. I wonder if they would be hard. How long have I been standing at the door of bathroom? Aw crap!'' 
 
 `` transformers... dun dun... more than meets the eye, transformers..... Dun dun! robots in disguiseeeeee! Something, something, destroy the DECEPTICONS! Man that theme song was dark.'' 
 
 
 
 
 
 

