[ WP ] Everything starts turning into lemons .

Today was the day. March 19th, the beginning of the end. 
 
 The news outlets had been running stories for weeks on the `` progressive research'' stemming from a small basement laboratory at UConn. 
 
 Yesterday, March 18th, some one hit wonder scientist had placed the final touches on his most important creation. The silver box, approximately the same size as a shoe box, sat polished and clean on his desk. Next to the box stood Doctor Tallon, the five-foot four Englishman. Staring out amongst a sea of cameras, he was ready to face the music. 
 
 `` Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to announce, after nearly 4 years of intense studies, my research is complete. Transfiguration is real!'' 
 
 `` Trans-what?'' asked a freckled reporter from the local news station. 
 
 `` Transfiguration sir, is the process of a complete change of form from one thing to the other. This becomes that, pencil becomes pen, cat becomes dog. Please watch closely as I demonstrate.'' 
 
 The cameras zoomed in close on the polished box on the desk. Doctor Tallon placed his granny smith apple on the opposite end of the surface and aimed the device. `` Please note, the machine can be quite loud and will emit a small beacon of light.'' 
 
 `` And here we go everyone. Three! Two! One!....BZZZZZZZ'' 
 
 Unlike the doctor stated, the noise was ear shattering and the light blinding. A fair hint of smoke even simmered over the surface of the desk. 
 
 As everyone recuperated from the blast, Doctor Tallon stood amongst the haze with a grin from ear to ear. In his hand he held a small, yet ripe, lemon. `` Voila!! I present to you, a lemon!'' 
 
 The cameramen and reporters cheered at the success of the device. The apple had totally disappeared and all that remained was this newfound lemon. 
 
 `` This would be great for turning all my old bills into piles on money'' chimed a cameraman from the back. The majority of the room laughed, even Doctor Tallon himself. 
 
 When the doctor composed himself, he began to speak again. `` Yes, yes, if only we could generate money that freely. I'm sure the federal reserve would be after my head if this were the case. Thank God the machine only works for lemons.'' 
 
 `` Excuse me?'' asked the freckle faced reporter from the front row. He continued: `` What the hell is the point of this thing if we can only make lemons?'' 
 
 Doctor Tallon sat quiet a moment, collecting his thoughts. He had planned this speech since the day he began the project. If his goal were to create a wonderful world of lemons, he would surely have been the hero. Instead, his mission had other objectives in sight. 
 
 `` You see dear boy, this device is stronger than you think. It not only works on inanimate objects, but on humans as well. And you may ask, why would we use this on humans? What has a man done to live out his days as a sour fruit?. And the answer I offer you all is this: I plan to eradicate the bad from this world and create world peace! Vladimir Putin, Kim Jon Un, ISIS, the zookeepers who shot and killed Harambe, and all other evil sons-a-bitches will have their due. I will eradicate all evil on this planet within a generation with the help of lemons!'' 
 
 A long silence had fallen over the crowd before anyone spoke again. A reporter from CNN began to speak, but the only words he could stutter out were: `` Jesus Christ, this guy is a lunatic.'' 
 
 `` But why?'' asked another. `` Why go through years and years of struggle to create a device that can only create lemons. And on top of that use LEMONS to solve world violence?'' 
 
 `` Ah, it's funny you say this. I suppose the only answer I can respond with is that in the end, 
 
 Every 
 
 Villain 
 
 Is 
 
 Lemons'' 
 

