[ WP ] Not all eldritch horrors from beyond the normal edges of space-time see you as a snack .

H̷̷̴e͏̡͘y̸̢͠, ̷́͟͡͠ ̢̨͞w̶͝͞h̶̨͘͜͞ơ̴҉̕͞ą̷̵̀, ͜͏̴ ̀͝w҉́͏̢͢h̵̡̛͘͝a̵͏t̵̶͝͡͞ ͏̷̀i͜n̡̛ ̶̨N͘͡y͘͘͢͠a̷͟r̢̡ļ̵̧̕ą̸̵̛́t̨́͜҉h̵̶̨͢ơ̴̡͡͝t̵̨͠e̵p͜҉'̷̢̕͞͞s̷͟͠ 
 
 The creature's voice hit Chris in the proverbial balls, a wall of liminal text and sensation. He doubled over, pressing his suddenly swollen lymph nodes and tightly closing his eyes, all three of them. 
 
 H̢̡e҉̨y̕͡͡, ̴̨̛̕ ̸̷͡u͏̡̕h̷̵̢̡, ̷̴̛͘ ̷̀h̷̡̛͜e͜͏̧̀͠y҉͏̧͟ ̧̨̀b̵̡͘u҉ḑ̷̨͜͢ḑ̶̶̷y͜͟? ̸͢͡ ̴̷̧̡̕ ̨̢͟Y͘͞͡ó̶̶́̕u̵̴͏͟ ̸͘͞҉̷o҉͠͡ķ͏̡̀͟? ̕͟ 
 
 In response Chris screamed. The scream, soundless and pineal, seemed to be the appropriate response. 
 
 Ò̕h̷͢͞ ҉̸͘͟͟s͏̵̧̧͝h̡̛́͢͏í͝t҉̢́͠.͏̷̢́ ̴̵̴̢̀ ́͠҉Ļ͏͏ȩ̛̛͘t̵̵͘ ̡̀͘͟m̴̕e̛͘.̀͘̕͡.̡́͝.̡̡́ ̵͟h͘̕͡͡ą̶̸͟n̕͟g̴̕̕͝ ̵͏ǫ̀͞͏n͢͡.͘͜ 
 Ì̵ ͢͜ń̸̡ee̴͜d͏͝ ̴̀͟t̵o ͝c̴͞͏o̵̢n͏̢c͢e҉n҉͡t̀͏r̷̵a͢t͝e̢, ̷ ̶̧j͏̕ư̷̢s̡t̴̸ ̨́a̸͢ m̨̢o̧͟͠.́͏ 
 How͜'s̡ th̕i̧s, ̵bet͝ter҉? I ke͢ep̡ fo̢r̢ge҉tt̵ing y͟o͞ù ̶h͘uman̴s͞ 
 do n't do so well with speech that occurs in more 
 than one dimension. 
 
 As the words resolved into slightly accented English, Chris felt his brain relax. The swelling in his lymph nodes receded, and he lay on the ground, his forehead pressing against the cool not-quite-marble as he collected himself. This was n't quite what he expected, but it was nothing that a few years of therapy whilst on some of the more exotic psychedelics could n't cure. 
 
 Oh good, looks like your brain is n't going to leak out your ears. 
 I'm 
 
 Chris felt an electric tingling at the base of his brainstem 
 
 No, better not. Um... call me Roger, I suppose. 
 
 Roger. Now there was a name which, however improbable it sounded, would n't cause his brain to detach itself from the rest of his body in protest. Chris sat up and looked at the thing calling itself Roger. Frankly, he was disappointed. 
 
 To go one's entire life reading the works of H.P Lovecraft and Clark Ashton Smith, become a student of the A∴A∴, and manage a minor miracle by opening a portal to the dimension of the Elder Gods, only to be confronted with Roger, who for his ability to melt the mind of mere mortals by reciting a haiku looked depressingly ordinary. Far from the many-tentacled visage of the Dark Lord Cthulhu or the impossible geometry of a shoggoth, Roger in fact resembled nothing so much as a banker on holiday, and a working holiday at that. 
 
 `` You... you're not what I expected,'' Chris said softly as he sat upright, rubbing two days' worth of stubble that had inexplicably grown on his formerly clean-shaven chin. 
 
 No, I suppose I'm not. But then, I'm only a minor functionary of 
 R'lyeh, really. I'm hoping to earn my first tentacle at my 
 quarterly performance review next month. 
 
 `` Wait... *what*?'' Chris rubbed his ears, which felt alright, all things considered. He stuck a pinky into his ear canal, which upon inspection did n't appear to be bleeding. Every indication was he'd heard that correctly. 
 
 Oh never mind that, you would n't be interested in bureaucratic 
 nonsense. 
 
 Roger waved dismissively 
 
 You're here to see someone -important-. 
 
 `` I'm uh, not really sure, to be honest,'' Chris said as he got to his feet. Immediately his knees gave out and he tumbled back down. `` Fuck!'' Roger, his face a picture of concern, moved in to help. 
 
 Oh dear me, that must have taken a lot out of you. You humans 
 get so exhausted by interdimensional travel, you know. There 
 we are, on your feet. Oh my, look at that... 
 
 Roger said as he pulled a pocket watch from his waistcoat 
 
 It's time for lunch. Well, I -think- humans are able to eat the 
 food here without too much emotional distress, so why do n't 
 you come along for a nibble to get your strength back? 
 
 Before Chris could say anything Roger had thrown his arm around him and was cheerfully pulling him off towards a small collection of improbably-designed buildings. 
 
 And while we're at it, I can introduce you to a friend of mine, 
 who happens to be a dispossessed Lengian prince. As fate 
 would have it, he has quite a bit of gold in a human bank, result 
 of a boyish misadventure, you understand, and he needs some 
 assistance to retrieve it... 

