[ WP ] The officers commanding a starship are honorable and ethical examples of humanity . Write a story about the lower-level and more ... .regular members of the crew .

Star gazer, space traveler, interstellar expert, but in reality, I had to put `` crew member,'' down anywhere it counted. Sure, I blew smoke to my family and friends about how I was this big shot on a starship, seeing the outer rim of our solar system and galaxies across the universe, but if they knew the truth, I'd go back to being normal, boring Steve. No one thought well of Steve until he applied at the Spacer Academy and actually got accepted, then he was hired on with the Ameri-Solar Shuttle, and then Steve became a badass big shot to everyone he knew. On ship though, he was a lowly analyst who studied deep space projections for incoming meteor storms or UOS's. ( unidentified object in space ) And guess what? EVERYTHING WAS UNIDENTIFIED. So guess what I do? I sits in front of my console, scanning every rock and piece of trash the Captain tells me to. Even when we both know that's a turd with a piece of corn in it from the zoom scan, not a `` possible space contagion that may reach Earth one day,'' or so he says. Then, they suit me up, send me out on the tether to grab the frozen space turd, and laugh at me from the window of the shuttle. Thankfully I'm not the only one who puts up with this. There's several other analysts who share my pain and frustration, and we all take turns. The captain and his `` naughts,'' are the ones who get to do all of the good stuff. One time we were exploring a worm hole, right? And we ended up on the ass end of a brand new galaxy we'd never seen before! It was one of the few moments I was really, really excited to be here with these assholes, on account that I found the worm hole and pointed us in the right direction! Well, we ended up finding another spacer, a vessel of alien origins, nothing in humanities records to tell us who, or what this thing was! I asked the captain if I could join him and the naughts when they inspect the ship, and for the first time, he shook my hand, thanked me for the good work, and told me to get back to my console. Oh well, I'm an analyst, right? not a naught like the rest of them. I just find the cool shit and do the hard stuff, they're the ones who claim `` responsibility,'' in the public eye. These are the men and women humanity puts up on pedestals and praises, the ones the world thinks are going to save us and find new life. If only they knew Steve the analyst and his other fellow analysts were the ones who did the heavy lifting without even leaving the computer in front of us. Oh well, at least my friends and family back home still think highly of me, at least until they realize I put a bomb on the `` alien ship we randomly found.'' To hell with the captain and his naughts, it's time for a promotion dammit.
