[ WP ] You 're about to hit `` send '' on a text , when a portal opens to reveal : yourself , who immediately slaps you .

They say it takes a village to write the perfect text. Well, ok, no one says that but I found it would be very fitting right now. My buddy told me that I might be going a bit overboard -- that perhaps it did n't take three days of pacing back and forth, it did n't take multiple essays written and rewritten and condensed, and it certainly did n't take hacking into the local library to do research because I was `` too lazy to rent a book but not too lazy to hack into a library'' to write a text message -- but what did he know? In my situation, anyone would have done the same thing. 
 
 `` Listen, Chris,'' he said. `` Maybe you should consider just…going out and talking to her in person.'' 
 
 `` Excuse me?'' I replied, offended. First of all, talk to her? In what world, in what universe, no, in what *existence* does one just talk to a girl first. In *person*, of all things. Second of all, *go outside*? It's like he did n't even know me. I was only out now because he practically begged me to visit. `` Ben, you know that lies deeply and squarely in the realm of fricking impossible.'' 
 
 We were hanging out in front of his house while he tried to do sick flips on his skateboard and I balanced the delicate weight of the world on a single text. As I scrolled up my draft, I took a drag of my e-cig -- which, by the way, is completely different from one of those crass vape pens. I was not vaping. I did not vape. 
 
 `` I know what you're thinking, bro. It's not different from vaping, you're totally vaping right now,'' Ben said. 
 
 `` Shut the hell up.'' What the hell did he know? I hated his stupid skating tricks and anyway, I had more pressing matters to attend to. `` What if she does n't respond? What am I supposed to do then? Just drop dead? Is there even any other option? Oh god, what if she does respond? That opens up at least 50 potential timelines for things to go wrong, and then even more timelines branching off of that into an infinite tree of wro --'' 
 
 `` Bro, chillax! Chris, my man, my main dude, you got ta learn to go with the flow. There's worse things out there than being rejected…like cancer and, sad puppies, and -- oh god, sad puppies with cancer…'' He started looking crestfallen. 
 
 `` Ben, this is serious!'' I yelled. `` Just because you ca n't rub together two brain cells to produce even an iota of understanding of the profundity of true love does n't mean the rest of us do n't slave over the maddening maiden of romance!'' 
 
 `` Woah man, harsh…'' He said. 
 
 `` …Sorry. This has just been weighing pretty heavy on my mind,'' I apologized. Maybe I did need to chillax. 
 
 `` Hey, it's cool bro,'' Ben rubbed his arm self-consciously. `` We still on for DnD at your house this weekend?'' 
 
 `` Oh, what? Yeah, of course,'' I said. `` My mom's making spaghetti.'' 
 
 `` Ah, sweet,'' he said, walking over to me with his spirit invigorated again. `` Man, you're thinking too much again. Amber is nice, if she's not interested then she'll let you down easy. So just send a text. Just do it man, just *do it*!'' 
 
 I stared at my phone, finger hovering over the send button. Could it really be that easy…? 
 
 Before I could do anything, a bright light flashed in front of me. I shot up at the noise, turning quickly toward the source. Standing boldly in front of me was -- well -- me? Was I dreaming, was I hallucinating again from stress and too many energy drink fueled all nighters? It must have been a mirage, or perhaps a -- it was not a mirage, because I just slapped myself in the face. 
 
 `` What the hell?!'' I screamed at myself, cupping my cheek. 
 
 `` What do you mean'what the hell?' Do n't'what the hell' me,'what the hell' yourself!''' Myself countered back at me. `` And what about this text you sent, huh, buddy?'' I -- he flashed his -- my phone in my face. `` I know I might not be the smartest person but at least I'm smarter than past me.'' 
 
 Oh God. 
 
 `` Wait, what -- are you seriously saying I traveled back in time because of a text message?'' I asked. 
 
 `` You know, actually that does sound like something you'd do,'' Ben said after getting over his initial shock. 
 
 Future me ignored him. `` Allow me to educate you, on just how much you messed up.'' Oh no, he was n't going to read it out loud, was he…? `` Chris: Amber, it's difficult for me to recount how I feel about you but I hope this will be sufficient. How can I even describe you? Your hair cascades like rivulets of caramel, pooling sweetly on your soft shoulders. Your eyes are your namesake, stars of amber resting on grassy knolls -- hazel and beautiful. You lift my heart, my soul and -- considering the muscles you've been gaining from volleyball practice -- you could probably lift my body. Just looking at you makes me feel like a blessed man that had the fortune of watching an angel walk the earth. For you to know that I exist brings me honor --'' 
 
 `` Ok, we get it!'' I cut him off desperately. 
 
 `` Dude…'' Ben started, stunned. 
 
 `` Listen…you do n't understand,'' I said, weak and defenseless. `` Anyway uh, did she…did she reply?'' 
 
 Future me just sighed. `` Amber: lol k'' 
 
 `` FUUUU --''
