[ WP ] A hardcore doomsday prepper is living through the apocalypse ... But it 's a kind he did n't prepare for

I took a knife to my snow pants, cutting them a short as a could without them being risque. I did the same to one of my best hoodies, turning it into some sort of weird vest with a hood. I figured I'd keep the hood as a sort of sun protection. They way things look, that sun wo n't be letting up anytime soon. I guess I'd have to do this with all of my equipment. There's about 400 $ I wont be getting back from Dick's Sporting Goods. `` Global warming will send us into a new ice age!'' They said. `` It's going to be so cold! Have n't you seen the day after tomorrow?'' We thought we had the end of the world all figured out. But of course, Murphy and his laws had other things to say about that. Did you know, stars will sometimes spontaneously expand without any reason? None of us did. Ugh, at this point I'd gladly take a new ice age over this. I looked at the thermometer with utmost dread. 116 degrees Fahrenheit. And only 10 in the morning too. We'd probably hit 125 by noon. Jesus. I'd never thought I'd see a temperature that high, much less at home. This is Milwaukee for God's sake! 
 
 I sighed and tried not to think about it. I had to refit all of my gear by this evening if I wanted to try and catch a convoy heading north tonight. Moving alone during the day was practically suicide. If a desperate refugee does n't jump you for your water, the heat will knock you flat on your ass before you could get a few miles. At least according to the reports on the HAM radio. At least most of my food will still be good. Hell, if it was n't dried and preserved it is now. The.45 should still work in theory too. Thought I might have to wrap that black metal in something so it wont burn my hands at the touch. Most of my stuff should still be good with only slight modifications. Even these snow goggles would make a snazzy pair of dust goggles. At least I'd leave a cool looking corpse thought out loud. I allowed myself a laugh as well. 
 
 Luckily I'm up north far enough that I should make it before the mass waves of people migrating from the inhospitable south. I may be able to scope out a nice spot in Canada for myself too. Maybe I'll get a whole bunch of people together and start a little town. I've played enough Banished. I bet I could figure it out. And I wo n't even have to worry about the winter phases either! Yep, we'll find ourselves a clearing and create our own little slice of paradise! Give us a few years and we humans will figure this out. Another decade and everything will be back to normal. I bet Hudson Bay will make a lovely tropical getaway. Perhaps I'll try to head there while the real estate's cheap.
