[ WP ] There are rituals that summon demons . Why are there no rituals that summon angels ?

`` It is metaphysically impossible,'' said Pins. The woman who had introduced herself as Paris Theseus McTavish lounged in the chaise across from Martin, her fingertips peaked just before her sneer. She took a moment to adjust the assorted tied off bandanas that held her good luck charms off of her bondage belt before continuing. `` To be honest, that's the dumbest thing I've heard leak from the murky orifices of that tumor you call a brain, down your nerves and out through that forked protuberance hiding behind your stupid grin. So far, anyway.'' 
 
 Martin's grin widened. `` See? So you admit this whole supernatural business is rubbish then?'' He had pulled over on the side of the road to help this woman after he'd spotted her running across the freeway. After two near misses, he was surprised to find she was not stark raving mad. Just slightly insane. She had introduced herself formally, started to buckle herself in but stopped and said, `` Call me Pins.'' After that she launched into a story about how rotten her luck was. Martin thought she seemed reasonable enough. Such that he could take her to his third favorite coffee shop to try and suss out her story, and two hours and much conversation later, there they were. 
 
 `` I never said that,'' said Pins. `` It's just that you can not summon an angel. Ca n't be done.'' 
 
 `` But you can summon demons?'' Needled Martin. 
 
 Pins yawned like a cat, and inspected her fingernails. Martin noticed a black rabbits foot dangling from a bracelet on her wrist. `` Of course, but why would you ever want to?'' 
 
 `` Alright, so why do n't you just summon a demon or whatever to fix your luck?'' 
 
 `` That only works in cheesy horror flicks and bad novels,'' said Pins. She took a swig from a flask she spirited out of her hoodie. Martin caught a faint whiff of whiskey and sage from across the coffee table. `` Demons are agents of chaos. Their very existence is an affront to the natural order of the world.'' She adjusted the horseshoe hanging from the necklace she wore. `` I'm cursed Martin. Any demon is just going to make things worse. Besides, they almost never hold up their end of any bargain.'' 
 
 Martin tried not to laugh at the woman's superstitions. `` Sure, sure... and that's why you have a death wish.'' 
 
 Pins spoke in slow measured tones. `` First, I've been selling luck for years. Trust me when I say I know what I'm talking about.'' She raised a finger with each point. `` Second, luck is merely a manipulation of probabilities; forcing outcomes to go your way by a medley of forces, to include will, physical energy, and metaphysical confluences. If you desire something and have good luck and a sound plan, that desire can become reality. My desire for self destruction is only kept at bay because I no longer have any good luck whatsoever. In fact, I've got enough bad luck stocked up that it's only through a constant longing for an aneurysm that I'm able to function right now.'' 
 
 Martin shook his head, but did not interrupt. Pins' scowl deepened as she said, `` Third, I'm here with you right now because this is the most likely life path where I suffer a long and painful death. Whatever goal you've set out to achieve is almost certain to bring about my utter destruction. I ran the numbers. I did the rituals. That book you've got in your backpack is trouble with a capital T, and I want to help you take care of it until I figure out how to get rid of this curse.'' 
 
 Martin absently clutched the strap of the backpack at his feet. He felt a subtle surge of some unseen force in the tips of his fingers, and back of his mind. He had n't mentioned the book. Nor had he mentioned the strange archive he'd found it in, beneath the Santa Carla Library or the strange way it drew him to it... `` You still have n't answered my question. Why ca n't you summon an angel or something to just magic away the curse?'' 
 
 Pins curled her legs under herself, as if preparing to pounce. `` Folks summon angels all the time. Thing is, if they answer they fall. Since people are capricious and flawed, any force of natural law that answers to their will is by necessity as fallen as them. This is fine with little things like spells and the kinds of junk I peddle, but when it comes to celestial beings, what pops out of the summoning circle is n't an angel per se. I'm not going to summon a demon, and I sure as thunder am not going to summon a devil.'' She winced as she realized the certainty behind what she had said. `` I mean, NOW I have to want to summon a devil someday to prevent it from happening, but what's one more unhealthy desire for the list?'' 
 
 Pins rose from her chair and walked over to Martin. She took his hand and placed it around her neck. `` Kill me, please. If you're not going to do that, make a decision about that damned book and let's be on with it. I'm here to help by hurting, through hell or high water. Hopefully both.'' 
 
 `` Why do n't you just take the book and leave me alone?'' As soon as he said the words a niggling fear lunged forward within Martin's mind. He realized he did not want Pins to take the book, or at the very least that he should not want her to. Regardless, Pins shook her head. 
 
 `` Any plan I come up with is certain to result in almost the complete opposite result. Giving me that book would mean the absolute destruction of this miserable reality as we know it, no matter what kind of action I decided. Just lucky like that.'' Her scowl softened and Martin realized he was still holding her neck. `` Look, I hoped for the worst and here we are. It's on you to hope for the best if that's what you want, but I ca n't tell you what I think that would be. I ca n't even risk trying to come up with a safe way to deal with that thing, lest we risk those hopes getting spoiled by my cursed luck. So here we are. This whole thing is counter-intuitive, I know. Regardless, I want you to realize how much trouble you're in because of that book. I was luckier playing live action Frogger on the freeway than I am in your company. Take a moment and think about what that means for you. Then tell me, what are we going to do about it?''
