[ WP ] You lament for your lost lover as , unbeknownst to you , your wife walks into the room .

`` Oh, to have you in thy arms again, to feel your skin on mine!'' I said to my memories of her. `` Tis such an awful thing when love must end, but our end was more tragic still.'' 
 
 I leaned against my window and continued my attempt at Shakespeareian sadness `` You were taken from me! O, my love! You were stolen! Ripped from my caring hands and taken-'' 
 
 `` God dammit it Ted!'' My wife said, she had been listening from the bedroom door `` It was a blow-up doll - I'm flesh and blood, you bastard! If you want sex how bout you come to me?'' 
 
 `` Hark, does the shrew who stole you speak? For all I hear are noisy flies!''
