[ WP ] You have perfect eyesight in both eyes , however one eye sees everything as it is and the other can see the dead .

`` Okay, stand at this line, I'm going to give this to you and I want you to cover your right eye and using only your left eye, read me the first four lines'' 
 
 
 `` E... F... P... T... O... Z, four lines you said? L... E... P... and D.'' 
 
 
 `` Right, spot on. Now, other eye. Cover your left eye and read off with your right, please.'' 
 
 
 `` Ah, you see, Doc that's the problem. Whenever I keep just my right eye open, I see horrifying visions of my loved ones decaying into putrid corpses, armies of the dead shambling up out of the graves to incite wrath upon the living, even the inevitable heat death of the universe itself.'' 
 
 
 `` Ah, well I'm glad that your first instinct was to go to your General Practitioner. Too many people in your scenario would have dropped to their knees, clawing at their eyes in existential terror. Or check WebMD. I still need to check your right to ensure this is n't a problem I have to refer you to an optometrist over.'' 
 
 
 `` All right, here I go... Ah! This vision is n't that bad. It's just a skeleton dressed as a pirate standing in front of the eye chart. For what it's worth, I know the first letter is E'' 
 
 
 `` That *is* interesting. Now, is the skeleton's pirate outfit kind of realistic looking or does he resemble a prop from Pirates of the Caribbean?'' 
 
 
 `` That's a hard call to make, I've never seen a real life pirate before so I do n't know how to make that call. I guess if this abomination against the living is merely a normal reanimated skeleton dressed up as a pirate, then he at least put an effort into the costume.'' 
 
 
 `` Okay, okay, interesting. You can stop now. I do n't particularly want a pirate skeleton in my office. Would you say that you're in any pain?'' 
 
 
 `` No, Doc.'' 
 
 
 `` How long has this problem persisted? When did it first occur?'' 
 
 
 `` First occurred when I tried to wink. Really made things awkward when the pretty girl I was trying to wink at saw me scream in terror at the mental image of my own mother being eaten by maggots. It's been a few weeks. Three and a half maybe.'' 
 
 
 `` Are you on any medication? Take any drugs?'' 
 
 
 `` Nope and nope.'' 
 
 
 `` Well, I do n't know what to tell you. I'll put you through to a Paranormal specialist, but if I were you I'd do my best to not to get anything stuck in my left eye, aim a firearm, or try to read a text message while intoxicated. Here's a prescription for Holy Water, you're going to need two drops of it in your right eye twice a day. Any Catholic Priest will fill the prescription and give you more detailed instructions. In the meantime, if you have any prophetic visions, please keep them to yourself.''
