[ WP ] You stumble into a universe where you discover that your life is an incredibly popular book/movie/piece of media . Then you find the fanfiction .

Seeing the entirety of your life's story condensed into a biographical format really gives you a new perspective on just how fucking boring it is. I guess that's what the consumers really want. I mean, a film does n't just become the best selling piece of media of all time overnight for no reason, even if it did happen in another universe. 
 
 After a recent breakthrough in the world of science, everyone and their mother could now visit everything and the kitchen sink. Every universe, whether polar or parallel, was now open for exploration. Even the one where my own life's story has made me rich in the movie industry. I could n't complain really; if people wanted to throw their money at me in a different life, who was I to stop them? The problem, however, was the horrendous teen fanfictions modeled after the film. 
 
 The biographical film had very, umm, `` meticulous'' details from personal life, and made sure to get it all in full detail with a host of talented cast members. Even Matt fuckin' Damon played my character! But the fanfictions, oh god the fanfiction. When I was sixteen, I had lost my virginity to my next door neighbor. ( Of course, you would of already known that if you'd seen the film. ) To my dismay, this was by far the most popular part of my life to write about. Entire Internet forums revolved around me banging my neighbor. Some of the stories were actually satire of the shitty versions, and that made me chuckle. But most of the dialogue consisted of the following: `` Fuck me harder.'' `` Please give me the intercourse.'' And my personal favorite, `` Is in now?'' 
 
 I had to know who made this film. It was too much to bear. I could n't go on knowing there was a universe with such filthy, horny literature about my life for one more second. I raced out to one of the local theaters in this new universe to discover that the film had still been in theaters six years after release. I had to ask someone around as to who directed this extremely successful monstrosity. I brushed up my hair and put on a backwards baseball cap for disguise, and proceeded over to a group of young college girls. 
 
 `` Excuse me, do you know who directed this movie?'' 
 
 They all looked at each other for a few seconds, confused as to how to respond. 
 
 `` You mean'The Life of Jay Wheeler'? It was directed by Kathleen Wheeler. Do n't you know her. She's one of the biggest Hollywood stars right now!'' 
 
 `` Kathleen Wheeler...!? Damnit mom.'' 
 
 

