[ WP ] You are a corrupted tooth fairy who knocks out adults ' teeth .

THWACCK 
 
 Stephen Jones hit the pavement hard. Face into the asphalt, teeth into the gutter. 9 teeth to be precise. That'll do, I thought. 
 
 Stepping around the sprawled out cyclist, I bent down to pick up Stephen's teeth. They looked like red and white peppermints. The pearly ninesome were slightly chipped from the crash and yellowed from age, Stephen was 35 after all, but the collection would still fetch a high price on the Black Market. Adult teeth always did. 
 
 In fact I already knew exactly how much money Stephen ’ s teeth would get me; $ 20,000. I already had a buyer lined up for these particular set of gnashers, and trust me, I could have got more if I had taken the time to shop around. 
 
 I feel I should explain myself. I ’ m an Ivory Hunter; my job is to knock out adult teeth for a living. You see Adult Teeth, or AT as we call them in the business, are a valuable commodity. They ’ re twice as big as baby teeth, and since most adults only lose diseased or damaged teeth a quality tooth is a lot harder to acquire. One basic AT can get you at least $ 1000, give or take. A good baby tooth isn ’ t even worth a quarter of that. 
 
 ‘ Why wouldn ’ t all tooth fairies concentrate on collecting adult teeth if they ’ re worth more? ’ you might ask. The answer is simple; because it ’ s a legal nightmare. 
 
 Tooth fairy law is similar to Human law, and there are a number of legal stipulations to lawful tooth collection. The law states: 
 
 * “ Fairies are required to wait for the unadulterated emanation of teeth from free range humans in their natural habitats. Human teeth are the property of their owners unless legally purchased, in accordance with Section 58 of the Human Ivory Trade Act of ( 1869 ). The taking of human teeth by force or coercion is punishable by law… the farming of battery humans for enamel collection is likewise a criminal offence. ” * ( Fairies Vs State, 1923 ) 
 
 Most Tooth Collection Agencies concentrate on the acquisition of baby teeth. They come out naturally anyway, and the human children and their parents seem satisfied to trade these teeth with Fairies for small change. All nice and legal. Collection Agencies employ much of the Fairy population, and a job as a Collection Agent is considered gainful employment for some. Child-focused Firms tend to operate using an industry standard'Pillow Transaction', but human adults seem unwilling to participate in similar ( even non-pillow facilitated ) sales. A legitimate business therefore would have little ability to track down and legally purchase a viable tooth from a willing adult. 
 
 Luckily I don ’ t work for a legitimate business. 
 
 It hadn ’ t taken too long to plan and conduct the Stephen Jones heist. My buyer had provided a set of specifications, and after trawling through the dental records archive Stephen had been identified a suitable subject within the stated price bracket. After confirming the job with my client, I scoped out Stephen and tampered with the brakes on his bicycle. It wasn ’ t very difficult. 
 
 This wasn ’ t my first tango. I ’ d completed a number of similar raids over the last few months; Bobby Wexler and the untied shoe, Aiko Kashigama and the unexpectedly slippery kitchen floor, Hamish Cohen and the Incredible Inedible Bagel. Business had been booming. 
 
 The real difficulty would be my next job. I had been in discussion with the Russians for some time about this deal, and an arrangement had finally been made. $ 40 million for a tooth from the Queen of England. This was going to be my retirement fund. 
 
 With Stephen ’ s teeth added to the pot, I ’ d have the money to bankroll the operation. The problem now was that I ’ d never be able to pull off a raid like that alone; I needed to form a crew…
