[ WP ] A day in the life of someone who teleports whenever they sneeze .

I'm a very gifted person. You see, most people in this world have one power but not me, I've got TWO. To make this a little more dramatic, I'm not going to tell you what those powers are. I dare you to figure them out. In fact, I'm going to throw you a bone right now. Get ready. One of my powers is... 
 
 **Aaaaaachoooooo** 
 
 Fuck. Well, I guess that ruins the dramatic suspense. I'm in the middle of the Himilayas. That's right, I can teleport. But, before you lose your shit, there's one caveat: I do n't get to choose when I tp. It happens whenever I sneeze. It's like some kind of sick joke. Actually, it is a sick joke. Every superhero has their origin story. Mine started out as... 
 
 **Aaaaaachooooooo** 
 
 Shit. Looks like I'm in the Amazon now. Let's hope I do n't get mauled by a lion or something. So, origin story. Mine is a humble one, no world blowing up, no dead family, nothing like that. Actually, it was exactly a year ago. Yay, happy anniversary to me! I was visiting a friend in his lab. Yada yada, we met, got lunch, started making out in the closet. You know, the usual. Anyways- 
 
 **Aaaaaachoooooooo** 
 
 Hoover Dam. She takes me into this random room and, in a move I thought would be sexy, I knocked all the glasses off one of the tables. Turned out, they were n't filled with water. Go figure. There was an explosion, lots of fire, and I was in Peru. My colleague? No body found. Optimistically, she's a kickass superhero now. Realistically, her body was ripped to pieces in the explosion. Now- 
 
 **Aaaaaaachoooooooo** 
 
 Shanghai. Let's talk about my other superpower. It's a great one, rivals the giants like Superman, the Hulk, all those guys. Get ready to get your pants blown off. My second superpower is... I sneeze every three minutes, accurate to the millisecond. And that's my life. I'm a wanderer who literally ca n't be in the same place for more than three minutes. Everything I'm carrying gets left behind. The one perk? I get to see the world over 
 and 
 over 
 and 
 over 
 agai- 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- - 
 
 Had fun with this one. Cheers!
