[ WP ] `` Of course Hell is real . You 've been in it this whole time . ''

Jasper screamed as a red hot poker was shoved into his eye socket by a giggling imp. The eye grew back a second later, to allow for further torturing. 
 
 `` Hey Bruce,'' Jasper called to the guy who was being roasted on a spit to his left. `` You ever think you might - AAAAAARRRRGH - be going to Hell when you die?'' 
 
 `` Huh. No way, man,'' said Bruce, straining his neck back to look at Jasper. `` I've been a good victim. I'm definitely getting the nice treatment when I shuffle off... I hear in heaven they only torture you for one hour a day.'' 
 
 Jasper looked downcast. Then he screamed again as the poker was shoved somewhere unmentionable. 
 
 `` What's eating you, man?'' asked Bruce, looking concerned. `` Other than those death termites on your leg, obviously, hah.'' 
 
 `` I do n't know. Sometimes it's just, I worry....what if I have n't been good enough? What if I end up going to - AAAAARGH FUCK FUCK FUCK - hell?'' 
 
 `` Should n't worry about that, mate,'' said Bruce, kindly, even though most of his larynx was on fire and it was difficult to hear him. `` Hell's probably just made up to scare people.''
