[ WP ] You are the devil and you have been summoned via a satanic ritual . As you manifest yourself you find yourself in a quaint living room and meet a sweet old lady who just wants some company

`` Haha that shit was priceless man, wher-'' 
 
 WHOSH ZOOSH SLOOSH 
 
 Fuck. Here we go again. Every time I'm trying to chill with my bros, there is always some asshole summoning me. You know what? Fuck that guy. This time, it wo n't be his soul that I'm gon na take. I'll take his firstborn soul and his firstborn's firstborn soul. Rinse and repeat until it's the 7th generation. Then I'm going to make those souls kill each other for eternity until they grow heartless, then I'm going to torture them the classic way. You know, pitchfork and fire. 
 
 ZOOSH WHOSH SLOOSH 
 
 Fuck this wormhole. Why ca n't I ride a motorcylce or something? 
 
 ZOOSH SLOOSH WHOSH 
 
 `` Greetings Mr. Satan, do you prefer coffee or tea? Oh nevermind I just make both. Please, make yourself at home. I'm going to kitchen for a second'' a frail voice greeted me with a smile. Genuine smile. A lady who looks like she's about to die in a few years summoned me. What could possibly be her wish? Why would she summon me, the Satan? Either way, her thick glasses and warm smile, I hate those. 
 
 `` Aah why thank you.'' I said and took a seat on the fluffy couch. 
 
 Sometimes I like to play nice before hearing their wishes. I have heard it all. Humans, they are shallow. They wish for things that are easily obtained. They wish for things to feed their ego. 
 
 They want wealth. Go to school, figure out the market and start a business. 
 
 They want beauty. Get a haircut, brush your teeth and do Stronglifts. 
 
 They want love. Have wealth and beauty. 
 
 Usually, with old people, they wish not for life enrichment. They had it all when they were younger. Often, they wish to experience them again. I'm ready to hear what this old lady wish. Maybe she wants to see her dead children. Whatever she will tell me soon enough. 
 
 She came back from the kitchen holding a tray with two teapots and two cups. One's containing tea and another, coffee. I'm maybe Satan but I could n't tell which is which. She put down the tray onto the coffee table. `` The right one is tea. Please help yourself.'' she said with a smile. Again, that genuine smile. Like a dog that is happy to greet you at your own door every goddamn day. 
 
 `` Old lady, what do you wish? You did not summon me to make me drink tea did you? You know, I could take your soul and count it as a wish for making me drink this cheap tea.'' 
 
 `` It's Earl Grey.'' 
 
 `` Your hair is grey. Spit it out. What do you wish for? You want to see your dead children is it?'' 
 
 `` Oh my, why would I do that? Of course I miss George but he is in the right place. I'll meet him when my time is up. My daughter, however is still alive. Georgina is living with her husband in Oregon. I have n't heard of her since the last Christmas. Well, she and I grew distant after she married her second husband. Oh did I tell you about her first husband? They got divo-'' 
 
 `` Whoa whoa whoa. Look Granny, I'm here to grant you a wish for your soul, and then I'm gon na fuck off from this funny-smelling-partly-furnished-ugly room. Now tell me what do you wish.'' 
 
 `` Oh my your eyes are on fire. Literally fire inside your eyes. Oh my. Mister Satan you are scaring me.'' 
 
 She looked terrified. Man, I'm maybe Satan but old ladies have a soft spot in my heart, if I have any. 
 
 `` Shiiiiiet did n't mean to scare you. Well I am supposed to be scary. Wait why do I care about you. Sigh, alright ma'am, what can I help you with?'' 
 
 `` Ahh, there is nothing for you to help me with. I feel fine. Sure, this room or this house is not luxurious as you would like but I'm happy with all I have now. My husband, or should i say late husband, and I bought this house when we were 5 years into marriage. I still remember the day when we went for house hunting. Back then, I was carrying George inside my belly. We lived in an apartment that time. It was good enough for me and my husband. Oh did I tell you about my husband? Georgie was a kind man. A strong father I might say. He wanted to have a house with a lawn so George can play outside. That was one of the reason why we wanted to get this house. Another reason was that the building were full of negroes. Did n't want George to grow up there.'' 
 
 `` Shit nigga you a racist.'' 
 
 `` Well I live in a different era. Anyways, George grew up in this house. The couch you are sitting on right now, used to be George's base where he would pretend the ground was lava and he was a helicopter. He died at 24 year old because of meth abuse. How I wish time can be turned back again so I can sav-'' 
 
 `` So you called me here to go back in time? I ca n't turn back the time because of entropy. Even I, Satan, abide the law of physics. But every law has loopholes. Instead of turning back the time, I can bring back George, no biggie. So, for your soul, I shall bring back George at the age of 24 with all his previous life experience minus the meth addiction. Deal?'' 
 
 `` Oh my. I did n't summon you for that. God no. George is in the right place. Why bother bringing him back to this earth when he is in heaven.'' 
 
 `` Yeah, heaven. A haven full of addicts. It exists here on earth. It's called a crackhouse. Okay that's enough ma'am, wait I have n't got your name yet. Hello my name is Satan and you are?'' 
 
 `` Georgia, yurushiku.'' 
 
 `` Fucking weeb. Say Georgia, for what reason, any reason it may be, that you summoned me here?'' 
 
 `` Oh I got lonely after lunch.'' 
 
 I lifted the left teapot and poured the drink into one of the cups. 
 

