[ WP ] As the newly-elected President of the United States , you are given your first security briefing . In it , you are informed that the American Flag is a sentient being that demands to be worshipped in song by schoolchildren , and is hungry for more .

`` Good bye dear!'' She called from the front door. `` Have a great first day... Mr. President.'' 
 
 He looked back at his wife, waved and smiled at her as he ducked his head into the limousine. Laura, his Monica Lewinski, was already seated on the black leather seat across from him, grinning and holding a cup of coffee for him to take. He took it and tried to not make farting sounds as he settled back into the seat. 
 
 `` Thank you Miss Lambert. You look very nice today.'' 
 
 She smiled at the compliment as she tried to smooth out the non-existent wrinkles in her grey pleated skirt. `` Thank you Mr. President.'' 
 
 `` We have a few more people to pick up on the way to the office, sir.'' Said the secret service agent riding shotgun in the cab of the limo. `` Arrival at the oval in..'' He looked at a fancy electronic watch he was wearing. ``... 17 minutes, sir.'' 
 
 `` Very well Captain, thank you.'' The president sipped his coffee and promptly burned his tongue. `` Damn.'' He cursed. 
 
 He was about to hand the coffee back to Laura to have her place it in the cup holder by her knee to cool when he felt the limo start to decelerate. He looked up to see several men and one woman all in different military uniforms standing on the sidewalk, looking expectantly at the limo as it approached. 
 
 Laura noticed his curious look and answered an unspoken question. `` Mr. President, these are a few members of the joint chiefs of staff. They asked to brief you on the way to the office.'' 
 
 He looked at her thoroughly confused. He knew that in the briefcase at his feet, there was an agenda she printed for him only yesterday that had JOINT CHIEFS as the very first meeting to take place in the oval office today. He raised one eyebrow at her. This was a habit of his that she knew well. She looked about to explain further but was interrupted by the door opening and several officers filing orderly into the vehicle. Each officer greeted him with a polite nod and a `` Mr. President'' or `` Good Morning Sir''. 
 
 The highest rank as far as he could tell was a balding black man with bright brown eyes and wrinkles around his lips that suggested that he liked to frown a lot. After the farting noises had subsided and the pleasantries exchanged the black man raised the barrier between the cab and passenger cabin and said `` Mr. President, there are some issues relating to national security that need to be addressed in a more private setting. So, I thought it best that we handle them on the way.'' 
 
 `` More private than the oval office?'' 
 
 The general, or admiral or whatever he was looked uncomfortable and immediately donned the frown that made his wrinkles make perfect sense. He nodded slowly and began fishing for something out of his own briefcase. 
 
 `` Very well, the Captain tells me that we had 17 minutes from my house to the white house so you better talk fast.'' 
 
 The general nodded, placed a manila folder stamped ABOVE TOP SECRET in bright red ink in his lap and then said. `` Well Sir, it has to do with Susan B. Anthony.'' 
 
 `` The woman who sewed the first flag? What about her?'' He asked as he opened the folder in his lap. There were several pictures of an old flag in a Plexiglas case so large, it almost looked like it was it's own room. 
 
 `` You will find through our briefings and the briefings of the other agencies... FBI, CIA, NSA... that history, indeed public education is a convenient was of getting the public to the truths we need them to know, Sir.'' He looked at the President who only looked up from the folder in his lap and raised one eyebrow so the general continued. `` Susan B. Anthony IS the flag Sir.'' He let that comment soak in for a moment or two and when the eyebrow did n't lower he put in. `` I know this may be a little hard to swallow, Sir, but so will a lot of the things you will hear over the next few weeks. No one knows how it happened for certain. It happened so many administrations ago that no one can agree with the other administration's interpretations of the reports and Susan seems to like to watch us squirm on this subject... among others.'' He added this last part under his breath before continuing. `` The fact remains that the flag is alive and she will be present at the joint chief of staff meeting you are about to walk into. She did not like that your predecessor was still coming to grips with her nature as he was walking into his first meeting with her and wanted to make sure that this presidency was ready for her wisdom when she was ready to give it.'' He looked nervously at the President whose eyebrow was no longer raised. 
 
 He was not even looking at the general anymore but was going from face to face of each officer sharing the ride with him as if pleading for someone to end the bad joke. No one spoke however. They merely nodded their assent or smiled reassuringly as if trying to convey just how nuts they had thought it was when they had first heard this. 
 
 `` Let me get this straight.'' He took a deep breath. ``... we... she... the last President... wisdom... what kind of wisdom does a piece of cloth have to give me!?'' He asked exasperatedly. 
 
 `` Ah, well, we are not sure how this part works exactly either but she is not just A single piece of cloth Sir, she is all the pieces of cloth that are the American flag, everywhere.'' He said soberly while fixing the President with his bright brown eyes. 
 
 `` Seriously?'' 
 
 `` Seriously, Sir.'' He said gravely. `` She is the greatest informant in our intelligence network.'' He added. 
 
 The President stared at him blankly. `` But...'' 
 
 `` Sir, she also likes to be addressed as Susan, Ma'am or Madam Anthony.'' The female officer put this in as the limo pulled into the gated drive outside the white house. 
 
 The President switched his blank stare to her. 
 
 `` Obviously Sir, you will want to stay away from phrases like'Old Glory','That flag','The Old Stars and Stripes' or anything other than the titles we have already told you about.'' Added a third officer. 
 
 As they slowly crawled through the opening gates the president tried to digest this information and come to grips with the fact that he would soon be meeting with a flag that was all flags, was aware of itself, preferred to be known as Susan and apparently was a bit temperamental. 
 
 `` What happens if I chose to call her whatever I want?'' The president asked the third officer who winced slightly at the question. 
 
 It was the General that answered him. `` Sir, World War 1 was n't caused by the sinking of the Lucitania. World War 2 was n't caused by Pearl Harbor. Both were in fact cases of presidents, well one case of a president and one case of a congress, pissing off the flag so please, watch your tongue, Sir.'' 
 
 He had, in fact, already injured his tongue today and did n't like this pre-briefing briefing at all. The car was arriving in the secret underground parking garage now and Laura was collecting up the contents of the ABOVE TOP SECRET folder and depositing them in his briefcase for him to peruse later. He watched her absently as he thought. The officers seemed to be watching him intently. He ignored them. 
 
 `` So, Susan, if I am polite to her, will let me in on whatever is happening wherever an American flag is hung anywhere in the world?'' He asked incredulously. 
 
 The general nodded but looked uncomfortable still. He did n't seem to want to meet the President's eyes. 
 
 `` General?'' The President queried. 
 
 `` If Sir is polite and if he contributes to the cause of expansion.'' He quickly finished. 
 
 The President blinked at him as the secret service agents exited to open the cabin doors. 
 
 Running out of time to explain the general rushed on. `` Sir, Manifest Destiny was her idea. She grows more...'' He seemed to be searching for the right word. ``... alive the more people speak that damn pledge.'' He finished. 
 
 They were being ushered out as secret service went ahead to an elevator at the rear of the garage, speaking into their headsets of the arrival of an eagle. The President allowed himself to be led into the elevator, turned to the general and said `` So, the pledge of allegiance is an oath to a sentient being that is the largest informant of America's intelligence network; in place since the inception of the country, she has advised every administration and caused every world war, all in absolute secrecy?'' 
 
 The elevator dinged and the doors opened to a hallway with a plush running carpet and wood paneled walls. Outside, more staff smiled at him and greeted him with `` Good Morning Mr. President''. 
 
 Before exiting the elevator the general turned to the President and said `` Just wait until she tells you who the founding fathers really were.'' He gestured towards the nice hallway. `` After you, Mr. President.'' 
 
 
 

