[ WP ] You have died and have been sentenced to Heck .

Hi Morty - 
 
 Thank you for submitting your concerns. We apologize for the delay in responding to you, but as you know we can get a little backed up here at the Heck Inhabitant Service Center. We hope that some of your questions have either been answered or sorted themselves out since you originally contacted us 934 years ago, but I'd be happy to go through them, point by point, just in case... 
 
 1. Unfortunately, there's not much we can do about replacing Steve as Radio Heck's DJ. As you are aware, Steve is here because he was incapable of keeping a song on for more than thirty seconds when he had iPod control during Life. He's been informed that he needs to improve this behavior if he ever wants to get out of here, but we're not able to do much beyond that. And yes, most of us here at HISC agree that his constant transitioning from Pink Floyd to Mambo # 5 has n't been funny for a while now, and that he needs to expand his knowledge of hip-hop beyond Notorious B.I.G's `` Juicy.'' We'll pass the word on, but as you know, Heck rules forbid us from intervening. 
 
 2. Stacy, our Social Media Director, has actually received above-average performance scores from our inhabitants. Granted, almost all of the high scores have been from female inhabitants, who tend to like her scenic yoga pictures and lists of tiny homes that will blow your mind. We do want to warn you, though, that she is expecting a child soon, so it is possible that her content will soon consist entirely of baby photos and inspirational mom quotes. 
 
 3. We're hoping that a few new inhabitants will be joining Taylor for Open Mic Night soon. As of now, though, he's the only one here who knows how to play guitar, and he seems pretty content with just playing `` Wonderwall'' and `` Wagon Wheel.'' 
 
 4. HISC has no control over any financial transactions or disputes. We are currently offering a night course entitled `` How to Pay a Restaurant Check This Time and Let Your Friend Pay It The Next Time,'' but as of today nobody has enrolled. If you feel Brenda did n't account for the nachos your table split as an appetizer, you'll need to talk to her personally. 
 
 I hope this helps clear things up a little. Please let us know if you encounter any other problems, and we'll do our best to help. In the future, though, we ask that you refrain from e-mailing us in all capital letters, as it is quite hard to read. 
 
 Sincerely, 
 
 Fred Moran 
 
 HISC Team Leader
