[ WP ] You have the spirit of George Washington in you and you 're itching for a revolution . You 're also a teenager working at a grocery store

`` Camila, just *think* about it,'' I said to the unenthusiastic 64 year-old Latino woman. `` Do you really want to be working the register for the rest of your life? Do you like bagging mangoes *that* much?'' She handed me the full plastic bag as I loaded it into the cart. 
 
 `` Listen, chico,'' she said seriously, `` This is my whole life. I'm happy here! I make more dinero here than I did ridin' with the cartel back in Mexico.'' 
 
 `` But you're an experienced gangster!'' I said, exasperated. I grew quieter as I saw the suspicious stares of customers: `` Look, all I'm saying is that with your cartel background and my ambition, we can take over the world!'' Camila gave me one of those disappointed looks, the one that mothers give to their screaming children. 
 
 `` Sorry, chico, I'm too fat. My days of thugging are long gone.'' Then she looked at me more apologetically, `` Maybe in a few years you can become manager of the store and then climb the corporate ladder to the top. But until then, keep bagging.'' 
 
 I sighed and walked away, disappointed. Camila was my only hope. 
 
 A few hours later, I was mopping up vomit on the floor when a light flickered on inside my head. It was as if everything became suddenly clear, snapping into focus. `` That's it! ``, I shouted happily. I dropped the mop back into the sludge and sprinted toward the manager's office. 
 
 I practically broke down his door as I barreled into his domain. Mr. Frederick is a fat man, a very fat man. So fat that every time I see him, I'm surprised that he's still breathing. In fact, his mere existence is what got me thinking of revolution. How he gets to sit there all day, eating his donuts and pies, while the rest of us slave under him, cleaning toilets and bagging food. Did n't help that the guy was generally a bastard, too. 
 
 So he looked particularly fat today, horrified and clumping, almost dropping his donut at my full-throttle visit. I looked over his fat rolls of meat and saggy skin as I made the boldest speech of my life: 
 
 `` Mr. Fredrick, I am here to inform you that I will no longer be working at this disgusting establishment. I believe that we as a people should be mortified at the filth that your kind represents. Today is the day a new world is born. One that is free from corporate control, one that is free from the shackles of Wal-Mart, and the rest of its ilk. Today is a day that will be remembered as the revolution of revolutions. One that would make even the boldest, most profound insurgents weep at its beauty. Today is mankind's first step out of the darkness and into the light!'' 
 
 I looked down at the man, who suddenly seemed very small, and very insignificant. And very fat. 
 
 His mouth was open in shock, spilling its soggy contents onto his desk, leaking onto his engorged pants. I smiled, satisfied, and left without waiting for a response. 
 
 I was off to start the new world.
