[ WP ] `` The Beatles are bigger than Jesus . '' Upon hearing that , Jesus decided to make his own rock band and beat Lennon at his own game .

Jesus turned his amp up to eleven-point-five, determined to melt the faces off of anyone who passed by. He stood on a street corner in downtown Toronto, near Little Italy, respectfully. 
 
 “ You ready to rock!? ” Jesus warbled through a pink-bedazzled microphone that hung haphazardly in front of his face. It was apparent that he had bought it second hand. 
 
 Jesus then started in on a melodic tune, turning and twisting the harmonious notes into a veritable explosion of raw musical talent. 
 
 “ Who is that!? ” Some passers-by gawked at him, pearlescent robes and all. 
 
 “ I ’ m Jesus motherfuckers get ready to rock! ” Jesus slammed his guitar down onto the pavement, bursting it into a chaotic mixture of flames and winged doves. 
 
 “ Welp… That was my only guitar… ” Jesus wept. “ Spare some change for Jesus to buy some new equipment? ” Jesus held out an empty coffee cup. 
 
 Bystanders went back to their busy lives, seeing just another street peddler in front of them. 

