[ WP ] You have died and gone to hell , but it 's not what you expect . You wake up naked in a field with nothing but trees around you ... it turns out that hell is an early access survival game .

I'd finally bagged that big elk i've been stalking for days! A storm had moved in and the big bull was skittish as the winds picked up and took away it's sense of smell. It lay at the edge of a large field just short of the thick dense forest. I was far from my cabin, two solid days hike. It would be a herculean task to get this elk back to the cabin in less than five days especially if this storm dropped some early season snow. After I clean the elk, I would build a sled to drag the whole carcass back to the cabin. Use everything except the squeak as my grandma used to say. As I started in on the bull, I was just about ready to make the first cut with my knife when a loud crack startled me. I started to turn my head and then a flash of light followed with darkness. 
 
 Eyes closed, bright light I squinted as I sat up and looked around. I was naked in a field of knee high grass. It was similar to the place I was just at, just off somehow. The air was pungent causing me to vomit. I stood up and said out loud, `` what the fuck, where am I and why am I naked''? A translucent screen appeared instantly in front of me and I jolted backwards. I looked up, a disembodied voice spoke out, `` For your crimes you have been sent to Hell 2.9.1.666''. The screen showed a video of me leaning over the elk I had just killed. Now I know what that crack was, a fucking tree. I was killed by a fucking tree. How embarrassing! The voice on the screen went on to explain that I can die here but will be re-spawned to this original location to essentially start over for eternity. I would retain all the knowledge I accrued up to the point I died but lose all physical objects gained. Man I hate these types of games. Next the screen went on to explain that essentially, there are alot of large toothy meat eating creatures as well as other damned souls and they may or may not try to kill you. It kept talking on and on blah blah blah, eventually I just walked away into the woods and grabbed some nice sharp rocks and started on a spear and an axe. I guess its caveman style from now on. 
 I built a small platform up in dense pine tree about 25ft up, just big enough to sleep on. A layer of dry grass to make it more comfortable should do the trick. I could see the clearing very well from my location but it was hard to see my fort from the clearing. I should be well hidden from marauding animals, demons and damned souls. I had taken great care not to trample the grass and forest floor around my fort, I do n't want to lead any demon spawn back to my place after all. I crafted all kinds of shit that I would need to defend myself, an obsidian knife, spears, a bow and arrow and some throwing axes. 
 
 It seemed like I worked for days and days before I was finally tired enough to sleep. As I laid down to sleep I thought of my wife and kids and the last time I saw them, their beautiful smiles as they turned back to say, `` See you tomorrow night at the cabin dad, Love you!'' As I drifted off, thoughts turned to the trial and devilish grin on the face of my family's murderer. He looked over at me and smiled, he knew he was going to get off and so did I. I made sure he would. When the trial was over, the media surrounded me and I played the part of the tortured father saying `` We'll see him in court again and see that justice is served''. All the while, I was plotting my revenge. 
 
 A few months later, I started following him, learning his patterns and his thought processes. I watched the detectives watching him. But soon afterwards the cops stopped watching, the media died down and my family was forgotten by everyone except me. I could tell he had another mark planned but he would never kill again. As he gently closed his car door that night, ready to go into the girls house to kill her, I got him. No fancy drugs or choke holds, just a plain old fashioned cast iron pan. I tied him up, gagged him, stuffed him in the trunk and took him up to the cabin. He survived for three weeks, but by the end there was not much left of him. I broke him, he confessed to raping and killing 15 women. In his one bold moment, he bragged that he raped my wife before he slit her throat while the kids watched. That was the last time I felt emotions of any kind. The anger and pain welled up inside. I beat him within an inch of his life before I calmed down. Both the pain and anger faded, replaced with a little bit of happiness that I felt when I watched him writhing in pain as I cut off his arms and cauterized the stumps with a propane torch. I went to a deep dark place then. I fed him alive to the wolves and grizzlies. I had snapped, I ’ ll admit that, but I was healing in the wildness of nature until the fucking tree. Now I was stuck in Hell for eternity. As I fell into unconsciousness darkness set in. 
 
 I was startled awake by a scream and some yelling. By the dim red moon I could make out two men on horseback chasing down another man in the clearing. The taller of the two men swung something and the man ’ s head went in another direction. Must have been a sword, hmmm that ’ s interesting they have at least medieval weapons here. While they packed up the poor bastard ’ s corpse I overheard everything they said. The jist is, they ’ re cannibals, live a half a days ride over the hills in a small encampment of about 20 people. All bad bad people. As I quietly gathered my tools and climbed down the tree, a smile cracked on my face, it seems I have a new purpose in death in Hell.2.wtf. 

