[ WP ] Everyone on the planet has a device which allows them to communicate mind-to-mind . You wake up one morning with administrator privileges .

`` Thank you for holding. All available operators are currently busy helping other customers. Your call is important to us.'' 
 
 The phone played some jazz music. `` Come on, come on!'' I pounded the table with my fist. 
 
 `` Thank you for calling customer service, this is Kailey, how may I help you?'' 
 
 `` Yes,'' I stammer into the receiver. `` Hi Kailey, my name is Isaac Fischer and I'm having some issues with my Guide.'' 
 
 `` What seems to be the problem, sir?'' 
 
 `` It wo n't respond to any voice commands and I ca n't see anything on the viewport.'' 
 
 `` I'll need your account number to look up some info.'' 
 
 `` I have it right here,'' I said as I flipped a sheet of paper over. `` It's 850586808.'' 
 
 `` Hold on one moment sir.'' There was a brief pause. `` I'm sorry, but I'm not showing any active feeds on that account.'' 
 
 I paused, trying to figure out what she had said. `` The fuck does that mean?'' 
 
 `` Unfortunately, it means you have a defective unit. As you know, there is a 0.01 % failure rate on neural implants. Defective implants ca n't harm your brain, but they will lose connection to the Guide Network. It's detailed in the Terms of Service.'' 
 
 `` Well, fix it then,'' I answered impatiently. 
 
 `` I'm sorry, sir, but I'm afraid it ca n't be fixed.'' 
 
 `` What?!'' 
 
 `` The only time it is safe to insert or remove an implant is during the zygote phase. Attempting to physically access it now would be extremely unsafe and unethical.'' 
 
 `` So, what, then? I'm screwed?'' 
 
 `` Neural implants are experimental technology,'' Kailey replied. `` There is always a chance of a failure.'' 
 
 `` My *grandparents* had neural implants,'' I retorted. `` This is your fucking fault!'' 
 
 `` Sir, I assure you-'' 
 
 `` Look up my name. I'm a freaking celebrity. Somebody publicly threatened my Guide yesterday. It was all over the news.'' 
 
 `` Sir, I can assure you that Guide hacking is 100 % -'' 
 
 `` A myth, not possible, yeah,'' I cut short. `` That's what you told me yesterday. Clearly, you're wrong.'' 
 
 `` No, sir, clearly, you are seeing causation where there is only correlation.'' 
 
 I was in disbelief. `` You're telling me this is some crazy fucked up circumstance?'' 
 
 `` I'm sorry, sir, but I've already told you everything there is to know. If you'll excuse me, I have other customers to attend to.'' 
 
 `` Do n't you dare hang up!'' It was too late, I could already hear the dial tone. I could n't believe this was happening. To think that just two days ago, I ate up all the bullshit like everyone else. There was no way this was chance. 
 
 My life was ruined. Of course the news caught wind of my situation. In the eight hours that followed, I lost my record deals. Without a steady income, the bank foreclosed on my home. I could n't even get a job at a coffee shop. Even the ones in the shadier neighborhoods went full-virtual decades ago. Ca n't work if you ca n't interface with the virtual environment. Experimental technology, my ass! 
 
 With a heavy heart, I moved into my parent's basement. They took me in graciously, said not to worry about money since I provided them a lot over the past 10 years. I missed looking up information on Guideapedia. I missed AR games. I missed Guiddit. 
 
 But I really missed having the second voice in my head. The one I could say, `` Go figure this out,'' and it would disappear for a few moments, then come back with a result. Truly, before today, I could not imagine a life without a Guide. 
 
 I verbalized my pain, as if making a wish. `` I miss my Guide,'' I said. hunched over on a cot in my parent's basement, prepared to fall asleep. 
 
 `` Your Guide is gone forever,'' I heard a voice in my head say. `` But now you have something better.'' I dozed off. 
 
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 Hey, if you liked that, I'd appreciate it if you came over and checked out /r/IsaacWrites, where I will almost certainly be doing a part 2 of this and you can check out my other ongoing story about a crazy orb that sends people back in time. 
 
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 Probability EDIT: Changed from 1 % to 0.01 % to better fit the story
