[ WP ] Each of the 7 plagues of Egypt had a secondary purpose . God is trying to explain each of them to Moses .

Moses sat with an earthenware cup of wine in his hand. His legs were folded over one another. His brow appeared to be melting into sweat in the sweltering heat, although it was n't actually that hot. `` You... sent lice?'' 
 
 A booming voice broke through the chamber, rattling the furnishings and causing the wine to resonate in its cup. The resonance was not unlike the pure and innocent hymns sung by choir-children. Moses' ears were deafened, his streaks of greyed hair lost all their colour. `` Kind of, just a little bit, really.'' 
 
 `` Why would you send lice?'' he scratched at his scalp. 
 
 `` Bear with me, Mosey boy.'' the voice thundered, Moses nodded. The colour started to seep back into his hair. Really there was only one voice who's reasoning was worth being listened to, and that was a very specific situation. This was a very specific situation. `` You, see. I do n't throw down the plagues myself.'' 
 
 This came as a bit of a revelation. `` What? There's another g-'' 
 
 `` Hey! I told you not to use the g-word. Be civil. The angels get a little touchy when you discriminate.'' The boom quietened to that of a mountain collapsing into an orchestra. `` Would n't want a repeat of Lucy.'' 
 
 Moses nodded. Moses sipped from his cup. 
 
 `` Speaking of angels,'' the great impact of the sound came roaring back, splattering wine across Moses' dried cheeks. He performed a cross between a grin and a scowl, and used the prominence of his now risen dimples to wipe off the blood-red juice. `` They're the ones I told to send down the plagues.'' 
 
 His hand stopped mid-cheek-rub. ``... Why?'' 
 
 `` Look, I have other things to do. There's not that much time to handle all of time, okay? Take it with a grain of salt.'' Moses found his hair once again shot backwards at the rapid-fire speech. It did clean some of the wine, though- clean off his face. 
 
 `` Regardless, they kind of mixed up the order.'' 
 
 `` Mixed?'' 
 
 `` Yes... jumbled, confused, erred. Call it a glitch in the machine, a spanner in the works.'' 
 
 Moses blinked, he had n't readied his scrawling tablet for a sermon of commandments. `` My-shins?'' he rolled out the words. 
 
 `` Oh yes, yes. You're not at that stage of development yet.'' the words fumbled in the air, sending currents whirring around. `` Look, some of them got sent before they should have been.'' 
 
 `` Them? The pl-'' 
 
 `` The plagues. They were supposed to teach humans, your people, about scientific progression and how to care for animals and whatnot. In all honesty, my boy, I wanted to show off the cool new stuff I'd made.'' 
 
 He sipped again, this time he did n't move his head back down. The ceiling was rather pretty, and understanding. `` But... we know that. Well, knew.'' 
 
 `` Yes, I know. The livestock were supposed to rot before the flies ran by. Then the frogs would have come and gobbled up the flies.'' 
 
 A twinge somewhere on his scalp. `` What about the lice?'' 
 
 The voice broke into a nervous chuckle, sounding like a whale with a whooping cough. `` The angels may have mistook rice for lice.'' 
 
 `` Rice?!'' he scratched. 
 
 `` A thank you gift for looking at my show! It was an honest present, honest! I swear on myself!'' 
 
 `` People's faces started exploding because of those!'' he shouted. 
 
 `` No, those were boils! I made those!'' the voice explained. 
 
 `` Why!'' Moses' voice had found a suitable level of decibels to occupy, and it did n't feel like coming down. 
 
 `` To get rid of the lice!'' 
 
 `` It did n't bloody work!'' 
 
 `` I know!'' it thundered. The walls shook at the crash of sound. A boom, much like the voice, shot through the night air. But it was far off. `` Look what you've made me do!'' Rain began to slap onto the ground outside. `` Really, I should n't be getting all hot and bothered over this.'' A sizzling crack of pure white light blinded the world outside Moses' window. He reasoned that there would have been screaming, had mouths not been covered in boils. 
 
 The voice exhaled a gust of breath, the wind shot in through the window and pelted Moses' backside. A few stray globs fell into the cup. Moses' face twisted into one of scorn. `` You've ruined my evening drink too! What else?'' 
 
 There was a contemplative pause in the rainstorm, the wind stopped ramming down into the ground. After a while it began again, with the voice in tow. `` You realise that I sent a first plague as a test, yes?'' 
 
 `` The livestock again? Have n't you hurt us enough?'' 
 
 `` No, before that. It was to make you pay attention to your livestock when they started rotting.'' the voice alternated between sternness and hesitance. `` The river, Moses. The river.'' 
 
 Moses took another sip of the thick red liquid in his cup. `` What about it?'' 
 
 White light flashed again, closer now. Years from now, after the terrible plagues had passed, Moses swore he saw the thunderbolt illuminate the rain in the shape of a frown. `` Look, do n't worry anymore. I'll be handling the other plagues myself.'' 
 
 ``... Other?'' 
 
 `` Did they not give you the memo? You thought there were seven plagues?'' Faint buzzing filled the air. A cacophony of tiny wingbeats in descent from on high. 
 
 ``... Yes.'' The drone of the insects grew louder. 
 
 `` Oh me...'' 
 
 -- - 
 
 *Edit: Some grammar, some typos, some rewording. Call it divine meddling. * 

