[ WP ] Advancements in science allow have allowed temporary reanimation after death , and it becomes customary to give a eulogy at your own funeral during this time . You have recently died , and find yourself reanimated .

The slide show ended with the picture of John standing on top of a mountain like some kind of great conqueror. 
 
 `` John, well what can I say about John that most of you do n't already know. He was full of adventure, full of life, and full of himself.'' Derek paused for effect as the crowd chuckled. 
 
 `` We know he made a few mistakes here and there, mostly with women.'' He cleared his throat `` Amanda.'' Raucous laughter echoed in the church. 
 
 `` And finally, we all stumble and trip in life, but most of us do n't stumble and trip down a mountain and die.'' Men and women were falling out of their pews laughing. 
 
 `` Oh, but seriously, I know we have had a few good laughs at John's expense. But now, the man of the hour, John!'' The crowd stood up and cheered as John walked onto the stage. He looked good for being dead. The `` life'' serum allowed the dead to be reanimated for two hours, then it was back to being dead forever. It was expensive like most things at a funeral but most families sprung for the extra cost. Is n't two more hours of life priceless? What a scam John thought to himself as he walked to the podium. Their was only fourteen people in attendance for his funeral. That was roughly fourteen more than he wanted there. His eyes met the woman ’ s sitting in the front row. Her brilliant blue eyes stood out against her black dress. Amanda. A tear streaked down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. 
 
 `` What a great speech Derek, thanks.'' A few people chuckled. `` Lets see. My life. Well, we all saw that great slideshow, that covered quite a bit of it. Me as a baby, me graduating College, oh and the picture that was taken moments before I plummeted to my death. That's really classy Derek. ” 
 
 The audience laughed again like they were watching a terrible sitcom. 
 
 “ Honestly, I am very glad you all made it here. There were so many things that I wanted to tell you but because I was a coward in life I could n't. But good news, now I'm dead. First off, you are all selfish, money grubbing, parasites.'' The people laughed nervously 
 
 John pressed on. `` This is n't a joke. I hate you. You were there for me when I had money and vanished when it ran out. You helped bleed me dry with your hands out asking me for favors and investments on all of your terrible, stupid, useless ideas. How's `` Super Water'' going for you Todd? Yeah I knew it was stupid when you pitched it, but gosh you were so pathetic. Tears running down your face crying to me about going broke and needing help. And I did. I bailed all of you out one time or another. I have not forgiven you, nor will I ever forgive you.'' 
 
 John paused and took a deep breath. 
 
 `` Derek. I'm glad you have n't changed much since you screwed me out of my company. I'm actually a little disappointed I died before you so I wo n't be at your funeral. But I will be waiting for you on the other side Derek. I have seen what is on the other side. It turns out we do pay for our sins. Your mind and spirit will snap in minutes, your flesh will be torn apart over and over forever. And do n't get me started on the rape.'' 
 
 John stared them all down. He may not actually know what is on the other side but he sure as hell would torment Derek. 
 
 `` Amanda. I am truly sorry, for everything. I was so used to people wanting, and taking from me that I could n't see something real. I left you something in my will, please do n't be upset.'' His voice softened and trembled. 
 
 John walked off the stage to the stunned silence of his guests. He walked down the hall and into a grey drab room. In the center was his coffin. With a heavy sigh he walked up the small step ladder and lay down inside. He shut his eyes and thought of Amanda. 
 
 Everyone watched John leave and quickly followed suit. They muttered about how much worse he was dead than alive. Amanda hated them all. She hated them for breaking him, for ruining such a great man. She sat in silence for a few minutes until everyone had left. The tears raced down her face. She jumped out of her seat and ran after John. Her high heels echoed down the long hallway. 
 
 `` John!'' She called out desperately. 
 
 She turned into the room that the coffin was in. A large black coffin. Slowly she approached and opened the lid. John lay motionless in his coffin. The life serum had worn off. The love of her life had died twice. She wept over his body, alone. 
 

