[ WP ] Your baby starts crying everytime you leave their room . Finally , you pick up your child and leave the room together . As soon as you step out , you hear crying coming from the room .

Holly's cries rang out deafeningly; echoing around the barebones apartment. Sarah switched on the mobile and sat down as the lullaby began. She sighed; she had told Hamish a hundred times that they should n't have started renovating until Holly was older. Until they had the parenting thing down pat. But no, as usual Hamish's excitement at planning the nursery before Holly's impending birth had gotten the better of him. 
 `` It'll be best to start from scratch,'' he had said with a earnest look in his eyes. 
 `` Ripping down these walls is the way to go, our little girl deserves a perfect room.'' 
 And with that, he had begun work the same day. Animatedly discussing and drawing the new designs out with Sarah when he took breaks. He had promised her it would only take a few weeks. He would devote every minute to it, he had said. Nothing was going to be too good for his daughter. Yet here she stood over 7 months later in a barebones nursery, still unfinished. Sarah loved his enthusiasm though. She had always known that he would make a fine father; she just had never been sure that she would make much of a mother. Before Holly and the pregnancy they were the *golden* couple. Together since University. Both with excellent jobs; Hamish as a graphic designer with one of those new booming start up companies and Sarah as a columnist for a major news website. They had done the year of travelling the world together. They had done the big fancy wedding. When it came to kids though.. there had just been so much reluctance on her part. She was terrified of becoming one of those one-dimensional soccer mums whose sole existence was based around dropping their kids off at practice and then chatting with the other mums as they all pretended not to notice their husbands having affairs with younger women. Sarah shuddered. What a hideous life to lead. 
 
 Hamish had been so good about it all. He had never wavered for a second about being on her team 100 % whether they had children or not. `` We do n't need children to be a family'' he used to reassure her. Sure they did n't, but she knew that deep down he wanted them. They did n't need the big fancy house either, but they had both wanted it. Hamish made her so happy, surely she should make him happy too was the train of thought she had so many times. So when she fell pregnant, she knew that there was no question about it. She was having this baby. She smiled as she recalled surprising Hamish with the news that their little Christmas party indiscretion had led to a positive result on the test. That beautiful man had cried as he hoisted her up into his arms and kissed her. `` Yeah,'' she had thought in that moment `` maybe this wo n't be so difficult after all.'' 
 
 Sarah was snapped back to reality as Holly's cries rose in intensity to an ear-splitting scream. The lullaby was still playing but Holly was n't having a bar of it so she shut it off. She stroked Holly's head as she tried to coax her into calming down. 
 She had definitely been wrong about the difficulty. It had been harder than anything she'd imagined. With Hamish working on a big project at work the last few months, she had been left to her own devices with a colicky baby. The screaming was louder than what one would imagine a 3-month-old would be capable of. She could n't remember the last time she'd slept and her eyes felt like they were simultaneously wide eyed from the piercing cry and droopy from the sleep deprivation. It was as though she was n't in reality with her daughter at all but nor was she asleep. Rather, stuck in some hellish limbo where neither daughter nor slumber were functioning as they should. The cry brought her thoughts to a halt again. 
 `` It's okay baby girl,'' she cooed as she stroked the soft blanket swaddling Holly, `` I'm here, mummy is here''. Finally, Holly's cry hushed before stopping completely. Sarah mentally rejoiced. She continued stroking the blanket softly until she was sure that Holly was asleep before leaving the nursery slowly. It was 5 steps to leave the nursery. *One step. * Silence was key, thought Sarah. *Two steps*. So far so good. *Three steps. * *Four steps* Everything was peachy. Sarah could finally breathe a sigh of relief. *Five steps* Just as she made it a foot out of the nursery, Holly's cries erupted again. 
 `` NO!'' Sarah cried desperately before resigning herself and stepping back into the nursery. Once standing beside Holly's crib again the crying went silent. Sarah stared at Holly with confusion. A perfectly peaceful, sleeping child lay in the crib. No hint of the cries that had rung out just moments ago. Sarah shut her eyes and opened them. Nope, still no sign that Holly had cried out. She yawned and decided that it must have been her imagination; or maybe a case of tinnitus. One last glance at Holly reassured Sarah that she was asleep and calm before she decided to go to bed. *One step*. *Two steps*. *Three steps*. *Four steps*. *Five steps*. 
 
 Holly's wail broke out the second Sarah stepped foot outside the nursery. Sarah put her head in her hands. She did n't know how much of this she could take. Where was Hamish anyway, should n't he be home by now? She needed sleep so desperately. The high pitched scream felt like someone taunting her. Like they wanted to prove she was the bad mother she had been so frightened of becoming. No, no, no. Not today. Sarah wearily returned to Holly's crib. She looked down at her little girl with confusion and agitation. Holly lay rosy-cheeked and happily sleeping. Sarah began to question herself. There had definitely been crying... had n't there? She thought she imagined it before. Once, maybe. But twice? Surely not. She could feel the blood rushing to her face as she became flustered. She did n't know what to do next. Holly seemed fine but maybe she was n't. Who else would be screaming? Was she imagining things? No, she concluded. Holly must just be having a nightmare. Yes, Sarah decided. That was the only reasonable explanation for this. She stayed by Holly's side for another ten minutes just for good measure in case she had another bout of crying, but decided that Holly was absolutely fine and it must be over now. 
 
 Sarah cautiously walked out of the nursery at a snail's pace. She would be sure not to wake Holly again, all this disturbed sleep is one thing for an adult but it would certainly not be good for a developing baby. *One step*. *Two steps*. *Three steps*. *Four steps*. *Five steps*. Was that.. silence? YES! Sarah breathed a sigh of relief. 
 
 Relief was short lived as Sarah took another breath before the crying suddenly filled the air again. The cries were beginning to feel heavy, as though they might suffocate her and starve her of her air and life if they continued for too long. She returned to the Nursery and looked at Holly from afar as the cries came to a halt. Holly was fine, again. Sarah looked at the tiny, sleeping baby. *Sleeping. Asleep. Not crying. * She thought. She felt confused and hazy as tears of frustration leaked from her eyes and dripped down her face. What the hell was going on? It seemed as though Holly was crying every time she left the room, but upon return she found Holly was always settled and sleeping. Sarah felt cold air around her and shivered, before realising that she was trembling not just from the cool breeze but from the fear in her bones. Was something wrong with Holly? Could she be sick? Or worse... was there something wrong with herself? No, Sarah decided. She was n't crazy. This was happening. This was all real. That sleeping baby was pure light in her life. It's just the sleep deprivation. It'll all be okay after a nap. And then Hamish will be home to help. Yes, Sarah thought, once Hamish was home he would reassure her and take over for a few hours and everything would be fine. She made her way out of the nursery, vowing to sleep it off. *One step*. *Two steps*. *Three steps*. *Four steps*. *Five steps* 
 
 The screeching cry filled the air again and Sarah felt herself falling to her knees, unable to stop her descent. Why was this happening. Why did Holly hate her. Where was Hamish. Her own cries began; though in comparison to the discordant, piercing cry of the baby Sarah's cries were drowned out. They were n't just tears leaking down her face anymore; her body was a heaving mess and she sobbed and tried desperately to gasp for air. She felt a dull ache form in her wrists and realised that her palms were pressed against tightly against her ears with a force that Sarah did n't even realise she was capable of. Nothing could drown out the cries though. It felt like she had fire ants in her brain stinging her every fibre of being. Draining her of everything she had. *Holly*, she thought. I have to check on her. With the cry still rendering her disabled, she crawled into the nursery. Holly lay still, probably dreaming of.. well whatever babies dream of. Sarah tried to breathe. Her body was shaking involuntarily. She did n't understand. Why was this happening to her? She tried her best to be a good mother even though she had never felt suited to the role. She felt exhausted at the weight of the responsibility. Scratch that, she felt exhausted full stop. Her eyes felt heavy, every time she tried to blink it felt like she had to drag her eyelid back up just to get it to reopen. She decided she would n't try to leave the nursery again, clearly it distressed Holly... somehow.. even though it did n't seem that way. That must be what was happening. That was the only rational explanation. Sleeping in here was a good solution. Sleep sounded so good. She sat down on the armchair and pulled her feet up, curling up into it. She watched Holly breathing; in and out, in and out.. in and out... in and out. Everything faded as she dozed off. 
 
 **Continued in replies**
