[ WP ] A sadistic `` evil '' person receives a donor heart , experiences guilt for the first time , and finally grasps personal redemption .

*There she is again just a darling little girl playing in a field. She smiles at me and runs to me. She embraces me, what a sweet heart. She wo n't let go. Why wo n't she let go? Oh god her smile. Stop smiling at me. STOP! * 
 
 Alexander wakes, the sheets suffocate him. His nightstand has a bottle of pills and a glass of water. He medicates, the pain of his new heart combined with night terrors is troubling. The heart was from an older man, a John Smith or another, maybe it was not all so healthy. He walks into his living room to watch late night television. It keeps him up all night. It is day and he observes all his normal routines. He tiredly jumps into his car to find his way to work. 
 
 He has n't been sleeping well, his chest itches. He wonders why it is so foggy. His hands ca n't seem to grasp the wheel. Light flashes and he's in a ditch in the middle of nowhere. It is n't exactly nowhere since he has seen this place before. It is the field. The field in his night terrors. 
 
 He stumbles out into the field. The realization comes too hard and so terribly. He has been here before. What was the cost of his heart? He finds himself on his knees. He digs into the dirt. Rocks, mud, and dirt fly as his hands bleed away. His hands dig into plastic. He tears it away and finds the young girl in his dreams. 
 
 The girl however is no longer young. She is there in almost pristine beauty. What cruelty that her pale face is so perfectly preserved. Alex cries, he cries into her face embracing the body. 
 
 *The darling girl is celebrating her birthday. Looks so happy opening those hard earned presents* 
 
 **I am sitting at a bar. Cute girl two seats down. ** 
 
 *Darling grew up, high schooler now. She is learning to drive. Why am I in the passenger seat? * 
 
 **We are at my house. Cute girl does n't know. I gag her. ** 
 
 *College, she has her degree. Mother is next to her. * 
 
 Alex looks at the face again. The tears hurt, the weight of his actions hurt. He had done this and began to harm himself. 
 
 **Her name was Kat, Katherine Smith. She was the cute girl, she was the college student, she was the high schooler, she was the darling, and she was the daughter of his heart. ** 
 
 
 

