[ WP ] You are the best thief in the entirety of the kingdom , however you were caught trying to steal the kings crown .

She raised an eyebrow, curious in spite of herself. “ You break into the castle and try to steal the very symbol of my lord ’ s authority and expect me, the Commander of the King ’ s Own, to listen to a *sales pitch*? ” The armor at her joins jangled as she punctuated the end of her sentence with the stomp of a plate-mailed foot on the stone. One hand drifted to the wire-wrapped hilt of her long sword. 
 
 
 `` Hear me out, ” the man on the floor replied, suppressing a gulp. That sword had seen so much combat that the blade was permanently a dull red. That hand had been holding it most of that time. His hands, however, were tied. A little too tightly to be honest, but it was worse that he couldn ’ t gesture as he talked. “ Look, I ’ m the best thief in this entire gods damn- “ 
 
 The Paragon ’ s hand tightened on the hilt. 
 
 “ -this entire kingdom, ” he amended, back peddling a step. “ The jewels of High House Candor, the family blades from House Jabren. Maybe you remember that time an entire ship filled with tribute from the Low Islands vanished from the most secure port you have? ” He shifted uncomfortably against the wall of the cell. The damp air felt like it was seeping into his bones. They could have least let him keep his coat. 
 
 Her grip on the sword tightened until her knuckles were bone-white. “ And you ’ re telling me this with the expectation that I will decide that you ’ re *less* of a menace to every citizen under our protection? ” 
 
 “ Not necessarily less… look, you have problems with thieves all the time, right? Stuff goes missing, members of local garrisons happily stroll out the door with your armor and weapons and sell it to who knows who and then retire to fancy estates and you can ’ t pin anything on them at all. Surely all of that put together is worse than one guy allegedly attempting to relieve the king of one of his ornamentations. ” 
 
 “ The fact that the ornamentation in question is the actual Stone Crown, worn by the First of His Name when he hewed this Kingdom out of lawless anarchy notwithstanding? ” 
 
 He shrugged, or at least made the closest approximation to one given the circumstances. “ I ’ ve never said that I do n't occasionally make a poor decision. Regardless, this is the sales pitch. You have a lot of problems, and you don ’ t like getting your hands dirty. I ’ m good at solving problems, my hands are dirty all the time, and I really, really can not emphasize enough how much I enjoy having a head that is attached to my body. ” 
 
 “ You want us to *hire you*? ” she asked, incredulous. 
 
 “ I mean, yeah. ” He stood, grinned widely. “ What ’ s the worst that could happen? ”
