[ WP ] You look out at the bright lights of the city and wonder how you ever grew up .

Sarah moved away last night. Good riddance. That left the rooftop to myself for a change. 
 
 The city was lit with October dusk. 
 I wanted to say like Christmas, but there was no holiday spirit. 
 I wanted to say like the Fourth of July, but car horns killed the picture of fireworks. 
 
 No, these were -- - tall candles. 
 Taking in the neighboring buildings, I could see it. Short candles. Wide dirty wax figures, sitting between lanes in neat colossal squares. Cars coursed down open streets, where the red and white would have dripped if buildings dripped. If cities melted. 
 
 She moved away last night. I wished these were birthday candles. She'd have stuck around another day for that. My first birthday, we spent it here on the roof. Watching the city static. Drowning in Vitamin Free. We were drunk on it that first day. Maybe she would have stayed for the nostalgia. 
 
 When the city was ours. 
 
 *We need to talk. * 
 
 Independence Day came twice this year. Once in July. Again in September. What a wreck I was, bed-ridden or gone when she was here. It was so sudden, like a ripped bandaid. I spent days scouring my body, self-medicating, digging to find the wound. 
 *Where was it? * 
 *Where did I mess up? * 
 Those were dead days. For a month, I did n't live. The city was n't lit anymore. It was blinding, so I closed my shutters to the world. This October was a dark one. Halloween dug and clawed at me, getting at the worst of me. 
 *Here's where you messed up. * 
 *You did n't do enough. * 
 It hurt to be me. 
 
 Then she left last night. 
 
 *I hope you'll do better. * 
 
 It took all day to sober up. Sarah was gone, and good riddance. I could stop finding excuses. More importantly, the roof was mine again. So was the beer cooler. The two patio chairs. That bottle she forgot to bring down from August, so we left it there as our'marker.' And that standing umbrella we stole from a beach one summer. It did n't hurt anymore. 
 
 The city was lit. Any moment now, a night sky would end this first day of mine. 
 I wanted to say like Christmas, but I was n't important enough anymore. 
 I wanted to say like the Fourth of July, but my summer was gone. 
 
 No, these were -- - tall candles. Like in church. 
 So here I stood, waiting for my Easter to pass. 
 
 Sarah saved me when she left. I'd learn how in my own time. 
 
 Tomorrow, I'll start again. 
 
 
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 *More at r/galokot, and thanks for reading! *
