[ WP ] : A recently deceased woman enters the afterlife only to find her seated at a desk with a clerk asking how her `` Experience with life was , not satisfactory , somewhat satisfactory or very satisfactory ? ''

`` I NEED TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER'' she screamed at the top of her lungs. 
 
 She had that hair cut. You know the one. The one that tells me ahead of time that she's going to be trouble. 
 
 `` Ma'am, my supervisor is here for administrative purposes only, but has empowered me to speak on behalf of the company. How would you rate your time on Earth?'' I could recite this in my sleep at this point. 
 
 `` My time on Earth? Oh honey, are you having a stroke? Are you deaf? I demand to speak to the manager of this establishment immediately.'' 
 
 *Oh Christ. Another one that does n't understand they kicked the bucket. Another one that treats me like a piece of shit. This is n't retail, and I'm not putting up with this again. Smile, be polite, ensure good customer service they say. Fucking surveys. I do n't care about getting five stars, I just want my paycheck. * 
 
 I bit my tongue for a second and put on my happy face. `` Ma'am I heard you perfectly fine. I understand you're upset and rightfully so. Your questions and concerns will be handled in the next portion of your introductory tour. For now I just need to know how you would rate your stay.'' 
 
 She snarled. `` Introductory tour? I just want to return this terrible quality shirt and the cashier who was here a second ago was horribly rude. Now one last time, I demand to speak to who's in charge!'' 
 
 Just for fun, I decide to check her files. A quick search for `` treatment of others'' and `` kindness'' pulled some grim results. A lifetime of treating service professionals as scum. Go figure. I'm not putting up with her shit. 
 
 `` There's certainly no way to break this to you easily, but I have to inform you that you've died. This customer satisfaction desk is the first stop on your way to the afterlife.'' I tried to look sympathetic. 
 
 `` NOW YOU LISTEN HERE. I WANT CORPORATES NUMBER AND YOUR NAME. What is wrong with this store?! This is the worst place I've ever done business! I'll have your job for this!'' She was a shade of red I did n't think was possible for someone without a body. 
 
 *This is it. I'm not fucking taking this anymore. If she was n't dead already I'd snap and kill her myself. * 
 
 I go back into her file and skim her last ten minutes more for my curiosity than anything else. 
 
 The footage was priceless. She was in a clothing store. The clerk snapped and shot her. Ca n't say I blame him. In fact, I applaud him. 
 
 `` Ma'am I've already explained the situation to you. Now please one last time, I'm going to ask you to rate your time on Earth. One for worst, five for excellent.'' I am the poster child for diplomacy. 
 
 She started climbing up on my desk. 
 
 *Oh hell no. * 
 
 One last time I go into her files. 
 
 *Im going to lose my job for this* 
 
 Some quick coding... 
 
 Some files moved around... 
 
 She disappears. 
 
 I bypassed her tour and reincarnated her as a human with a lifetime job of retail clerk. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

