[ WP ] [ TT ] You cleverly convince the devil to sell you his soul .

It's really the little things you have to look for. I'm not saying that a hundred percent of the time it adds up, but if you know *how* to look, you can be pretty certain. Anyway, I could tell what kind of a man he was. I could tell he was obsessive. 
 
 
 Now he was n't really a man, but he looked like one and I'm not one for hyperbole. Hell was already hot and we did n't need words like Devil or demon or even angel and God. His name was Lucifer and he had manicured hands. He had long hair but it was always combed and well kept. His ring finger was missing a ring and he pulled at it often, absently, as he tortured the damned like me. It was the little things, really, that saved my skin. 
 
 
 I died in glory and in a waste. Gunfire did me in. My life was the evidence needed to send me to Hell. What could I do? One thing I learned young was that you do n't lie to the judge if the shit's already in front of you. It just pisses them off. It insults their intelligence. I could n't argue being sent to Hell. I kinda hunkered down and got ready to do my time. 
 
 
 But Lucifer was an odd man. I told you he was obsessive. On the great hills of red where the sky was purple and where the screams fell like chaotic rain, he had a little mining shed or something. It's hard to describe. It was a tiny office, metal I guess, if there is metal in hell, and it was always humid so that you burst into sweat as soon as you stepped in. Lucifer met all the new prisoners there, as a warden would. He was a thin man and he was n't intimidating per say, but he had that German Nazi look about him. He was a professional, you could see that plain, and he took pride in his job. 
 
 
 I remember the shadows shifting in the red glow. The plains far past burned with lava and with dying men. It's like a morning swim in Hell that happens every day. I was nervous, jittery as you can imagine. But Lucifer was odd. He made me sit and there was a silence between us. I suppose he does this to increase the fear. When a man just stares at you amidst a tornado of screams and pain, well, you get a little scared. 
 
 
 But I was never a silent type. I need to talk so I opened my mouth. 
 
 
 `` I guess this is it,'' I said. 
 
 
 It took him back. I do n't think he was used to anything but pleas for mercy. 
 
 
 `` What do you mean? It has only now begun,'' he said. 
 
 
 `` Nah. Everything's ended. Eternity ca n't really be called a new beginning if it ai n't going nowhere. This is it. You're gon na fry my ass forever, but nothing else is gon na happen.'' 
 
 
 It rubbed him the wrong way. I rubbed him the wrong way. 
 
 
 `` You're wrong. I'm going to do more than just fry you.'' 
 
 
 I snorted. Like I was gon na get any more scared. It's a credit to us as a species, but you get used to things fast. You resign and just accept the things you ca n't change if you're strong enough. But Lucifer was not strong, not like I was strong, not in that way. 
 
 
 `` You really do not think you will suffer for all eternity?'' he asked. 
 
 
 `` You get used to it,'' I said. 
 
 
 He shook a bit, a little twitch. He was touching that finger. The missing ring was so noticeable, it was like a movie. 
 
 
 `` No you do n't,'' he said. 
 
 
 `` Oh yeah? Why's that? How would you know? You look like you got some stories to tell.'' 
 
 
 `` I am not here to tell stories.'' 
 
 
 And I guess I did n't know it then, but I was fighting for my life there. Perseverance kicked in on the faint winds of hope. What did I intend? I was n't too sure, but I'm never really sure'bout much anyway. 
 
 
 `` Oh yeah? What are you here for? For the boss of this place you sure look like you got some troubles. Maybe... woman troubles?'' 
 
 
 He smiled. It was a sweet thing, and I have no problem admitting that as a man. It was my opening. 
 
 
 `` You would n't know,'' he said. 
 
 But I did my time in Bible School. I was a Catholic too, and so I was n't an ignoramus. 
 
 
 `` Is she really all white and pearly?'' I asked. `` You know, back home we always think she was a man.'' 
 
 
 `` That's because your kind are fools.'' 
 
 
 `` I ca n't argue there... Tell me though, why wo n't she talk to you? Why put you up here in this Hell hole?'' 
 
 
 I was getting on his nerves. 
 
 
 `` Pardon the pun,'' I said. 
 
 
 `` It is not for you to know.'' 
 
 
 `` But you miss her,'' I said. 
 
 
 I looked at his hair, at how he dressed. 
 
 
 `` For a bachelor you sure dress nice.'' 
 
 
 He just stared. 
 
 
 I continued: `` Considering the rest of this place is so disorganized. You dress like a sharp man, waiting to impress someone.'' 
 
 
 Nothing. 
 
 
 `` You think she'll ever come back?'' 
 
 
 For a second it seemed like he was gon na get up and grab me by the throat. He was not that kind of man though, Lucifer. The glow outside flickered and I could see him think about sending me there one time. 
 
 
 `` Before you do what you got to do, at least tell me. Do you expect her to come back?'' 
 
 
 I guess he was never used to anyone being frank either. 
 
 
 `` No,'' he said. `` We can not talk here. It is impossible for us to make contact. She had made it so in the beginning.'' 
 
 
 It was my opening. 
 
 
 `` That's crazy,'' I said. `` Back home, we talk to her all the time. Of course we call her a man, but we talk all the same. Sometimes she even talks back if you're one of the crazy ones.'' 
 
 
 And this was something he did n't know. 
 
 
 `` What? You are lying.'' 
 
 
 But he knew I was n't. He was the type of man who could tell if you were lying. 
 
 
 `` It's true,'' I said. And then right out with it: `` I could take you if you wanted. I could reintroduce the two of you. Do n't let my situation fool you, I was a Godly man in my time.'' 
 
 
 He was silent. That ring finger twitched as if balancing the weight of something long gone. 
 
 
 `` You are dead,'' he said. `` You can never go back.'' 
 
 
 `` Anyone with a soul can go back,'' I said. I was talking out of my ass, but I was lucky. 
 
 
 `` You have no soul,'' he said. 
 
 
 `` Maybe. But it seems like you're quite soulful yourself. Why do n't we make a deal?'' 
 
 
 `` What kind of deal?'' 
 
 
 `` You give me your soul and I'll say a prayer for you.'' 
 
 
 `` If I do that I will no longer exist. I will die same as you.'' 
 
 
 `` I'll say a prayer though. I promise I will. If you die and there's no... you, then where else do you have to go?'' 
 
 
 He mulled it over. What the hell was I doing? But he was a sad man and obsessive. It had eaten at him forever and I knew I had him. I felt sorry for him, of course, but I needed to save myself. 
 
 
 `` It's a deal,'' he said. 
 
 
 Everything just evaporated like steam, and it fuzzed over like a bad dream. I woke up in the hospital. Some of the guys were there and they were happy to see me open my eyes. 
 
 
 `` You sonofabitch! You're alive.'' 
 
 
 That kind of thing. I was glad to see them, of course, but I closed my eyes again and they thought I had died for real this time. 
 
 
 `` Call the doctor. Call the fucking doctor!'' 
 
 
 But I was just praying. I keep my promises, you know. I try my best. I said a prayer for old Lucifer and wished him the best. I opened my eyes again. I was alive. It was time to resume being bad.
