[ WP ] It 's becoming embarassingly apparent to everyone that you 've never actually killed a zombie before .

It wasn ’ t like I ’ d ever lied about it. Everyone had simply assumed. I run outside the gates gathering equipment from what remains of the ruins of civilization. People expected that I would have killed a few zombies. Now we were talking shit around the campfire, eating roasted deer; a deer I shot and brought back to camp. 
 
 “ So you ’ ve never…? ” 
 
 “ Well shit how do you do it? ” 
 
 I poke a stick into the fire “ Does it really matter? You know I ’ m a good shot, I could blast one down if I needed to, or bash in a skull or two with a cricket bat, just never have. I ’ m always faster. ” 
 
 “ So you just run away? ” 
 
 “ Running away would imply going the opposite direction of a zombie horde, which is bad form. If you back track you ’ ll run into the sleepers you ’ ve woken while running through the area, no… you have to go left or right of the horde, skirt around it and get in front of it then outrun it. Zombies are slow, the longer they ’ ve been dead the slower they are and it ’ s been what …5 years? Since the first massive outbreak in this area, 7 from the first ever outbreak? “ 
 
 “ But you ’ ve come back with spent clips, bits of brain on your clothes. If it wasn ’ t a zombie, what were you killing? ” Now the camp is interested, I can hear the comfortable din of conversations around the camp fade to near silence. 
 
 I look up from the fire. “ I ’ m fast enough to out run zombies, but not bandits or madmen. ” I take a bite of roasted deer as the camp grows completely silent “ So… how many humans have you killed? Last week I got my 50th. ” 

