[ WP ] A world that lay broken

Aye, the tale of the Land of Rube. ‘ Twas shaped like a cube, with six planes of kingdoms belonging to the Six Grand Colours of the lands. Nine plots of equal size divided the insides of each kingdom, three plots by three. 
 
 The first fiefdom was Red, the dreaded land of molten rock and the warriors that bathe in fire. The fiefdom on the opposite face was White, the bright land that only had one-fifth the blight of the Red lands. The sight of the White might remind one of a pristine landscape of snow and crystals. Nobody has ever claimed to have laid eyes on a White. On the right was the Green kingdom, mean and obscene. The Greens picked their noses with their toes, and they belched loudly and scratched their armpit hair with shovels. This kingdom ’ s main products are vulgarities and curse words. Compare that to the Blue Kingdom. The Blues are cool cats who like Jazz at rainy coffee cafés. They wear polyester vests and think they ’ re the best of Rube ( or just rude? ). Next to the Blue Kingdom is the Yellow Kingdom. The Yellows yell out to the others in provocation. The yellows are well known for their excellent court jesters, entertaining the King with juggling and lemon pie-throwing and joke-telling. “ Hell no! ” Said the yellows, when asked if they preferred the lifestyles of the Orange Kingdom. The Oranges, discordant and clunky, are an awkward bunch. They slam and bump into each other accidentally, creating a chaos that prevents anything from getting done in the way of buildings or art or society. Every day is a torrent of volcanoes, and every night is a thunderstorm of earthquakes. 
 
 The creatures of Rube lived peacefully and isolated for a very long time. Some even forgot the existence of the other kingdoms, so geometrically separated they were. Until one day, an enormous monster of bilateral symmetry and four limbs plucked up their world from the ether. This beast stuck out its twisty fingers and smothered the lands underneath. Using primal force, it ripped the world asunder! Axes grinded together. The poles changed. Plates jostled and rumbled. Plots of land swiveled and tilted. Thankfully, the beast grew tired of its torment, and it soon grumbled away for reasons unknown. 
 
 But damage had been done. The Six Grand Colours of the lands were now just a mix of plots of ugliness. The Greens slung curses at the Yellows. The Blues plugged their ears amidst the Orange cacophony. The Reds gave battle to the Whites and melted the land around them. Blues and Yellows against Reds against Greens and Whites against Blues against Yellows and Reds against Oranges! Yellows against Greens and Oranges against Whites and Blues against Reds and Yellows against Whites against Oranges! Greens and Blues against Whites and Yellows against Reds against Oranges and Blues! Whites and Reds against Greens against Oranges against Yellows and Whites against Reds and Blues! 
 
 It was a mess of confusion and a confusing mess. For a very long time the feudal factions combated each other for goals which were not fully understood. Finally, the beast returned. It noticed the clashing colours and, using its spindly, meaty fingers once more, rearranged the colours back to their proper places. The Kingdoms were restored, the rulership back in position! The Reds clanged their shields in celebration. The Whites had snowball fights in delight. The Yellows, well, strode back into the palace in jester outfits. The Blues snoozed to saxophones, and even the Greens seemed to get mean again! The Oranges did not perceive much change at all, being the most chaotic lot of the cube. 
 
 All was at peace once again in the Land of Rube. 
 

