[ WP ] Your newly adopted dog is exceptionally obedient . It quickly learns all the typical tricks within a few hours . You tell it to take over the world and the next day everything is exactly as you ( jokingly ) instructed .

“ Alright Sheev, fetch! ” I call as I throw the tennis ball across the field. With remarkable speed and grace, the mutt that I picked up from the pound today rushes after it, grabbing it out of the air after the first bounce. After Sheev saunters up to me and the dog trainer, he stops and drops the ball before my feet. 
 
 The dog trainer gives me a look that doesn ’ t give me much confidence about the rest of the training course. 
 
 “ You ’ re saying you picked him up from the pound? ” she asks, and I nod. “ Well, I could offer you the advance course? It ’ s for show dogs, and there ’ s some things you could teach him for like, service dog stuff… ” 
 
 Shaking my head, I pat Sheev ’ s. “ Nah, I don ’ t need that stuff. And I think if I ever do, Sheev ’ ll pick that up just as easy. ” 
 
 The trainer nodded a little sullenly. Having to lose a customer would do that, probably. Or it could be that she ’ d never seen a dog quite like Sheev. He is a curious one: he looks like the cutest lapdog, albeit as big as a Labrador, but he possesses a strange intelligence. Even now, as he ’ s being petted, he looks at me with one eye open. As if we ’ d struck a deal: I would feed him, pet him, and in return, he would be my companion. My ‘ man ’ s best friend ’. 
 
 As I put the leash on his collar, the trainer asks: “ Why the name, though? I ’ ve never heard it before. ” 
 
 “ My friend, who picked him up, he ’ s this big Star Wars geek. I dunno. ” I say, and head to my car. 
 
 -- - 
 
 The rest of my day is pretty uneventful. I buy large breed dog chow, some dog toys, and a comfy bed for Sheev to sleep on. Though as I make the last purchase, I notice him staring, as if to say I am wasting my money. I just shrug it off: He ’ s going to be sleeping comfortably on his own bed. 
 
 At home, I give Sheev his food before making my own dinner. Strangely, he doesn ’ t start eating immediately, even as I try to get him to do so. Only when I ’ ve cooked my pasta and meatballs and sit down to eat does he start on his own chow. 
 
 “ Aww, that ’ s sweet. ” My roommate, coming out of his room wearing what I know to be his ‘ lucky ’ shirt. “ Eating together, what a wonderful first date. “ If I ’ d know it would be such a cutie I ’ d have given him a different name. ” 
 
 “ The night ’ s still young. For all you know, we could take over the world by tomorrow. Right, Sheev? Take over the world for me? ” I say, grinning at the large puppy. With his muzzle still in his bowl, he has that look again. It ’ s probably nothing… 
 
 “ Well, I ’ m going out. Don ’ t ban the nightclub scene while I ’ m dancing, or you ’ re bailing me out. Alright? Alright. See ya! ” With a flourish, he picks up his bag and heads out. 
 
 Finishing my dinner, I turn to Sheev. “ Alright, when you do take over the world? Make sparkly shirts illegal. ” I wash up, fill his water bowl and head for bed. As I do, I notice Sheev following me. 
 
 “ Hey, I bought you a bed, alright? ” I say, maybe a little too indignantly. 
 
 I only get back a sad frown. 
 
 “ Fine. You want to sleep in my bed? ” I ask. 
 
 He looks up a little more hopefully. 
 
 “ Alright. You take over the world for me, you get to sleep in the big bed. For now, you have your own in the living room. ” 
 
 At that, Sheev sadly pads out of the room. 
 
 I lay down in my bed triumphantly, and as I fall asleep, my last thought is: Did I just argue with my dog? 
 
 -- - 
 
 The next morning, I wake up, put on my slippers and head for the kitchen. I find a curious sight waiting for me. My roommate sits there with uncovered chest, eating his cereal. 
 
 “ Where ’ s your shirt? ” I ask. “ Did one of your dates throw a fruity drink all over it? ” 
 
 “ No man, it ’ s pretty fucked up. I was dancing, next thing I know some guy taps me on the shoulder, tells me it ’ s illegal to wear a sparkly shirt! ” he says with the practiced theatricality of a drama major. 
 
 “ …Have you been talking to Sheev? ” 
 
 “ Sheev? What the- are you high? Did you find my stash? ” 
 
 “ You have a stash? ” I look over at him with a raised eyebrow. 
 
 “ It ’ s not important, man. ” he says defensively, just before we hear our door opening. 
 
 The thought ‘ Who else has our key? ’ runs through my head but then Sheev comes walking in, holding a stack of envelopes in his mouth. Big ones. He drops them on the kitchen counter, looking incredibly tired. 
 
 “ Hey, where have you been, buddy? ” I ask, but the stack of envelops draws my attention. The top ones are bills that I share between myself and my roommate, but then the bigger ones are… official documents? 
 
 Tearing one open, I see the letterhead declaring itself to be from the NATO Secretary General ’ s office. What the hell? I pick up another one, this one from, upon closer inspection, the President of the European Union. What was going on? 
 
 Without any ceremony, Sheev walks into my room, and I hear the springs of my bed compressing. 
 
 -- - 
 
 Edit: just the last line, changed the tense.
