[ WP ] You are the world 's greatest assassin . So great , in fact , that nobody will hire you anymore in fear of retaliation and you are constantly hounded by assassin 's who you stole the business of .

I finished the coffee with an expressed sigh with no one around to hear. It was another quiet night in my apartments tonight, the family next door had gone up-north for a funereal and Jason, my over weight neighbor, was completing his nightly routine of getting pissed at a local pub. My foul, battered and trusty chair creaked and groaned with age as I leaned back to watch a re-run of friends. The episode where they construct a giant poking device to poke fat ugly naked guy. 
 
 `` Oh yeah, this is a good one'' I murmured to myself and no one 
 
 After 5 minutes of disinterested watching I began to doze off. My eye lids were slipping down my eyes when I heard a car pull into the drive way of the apartment complex. The complex was n't very big, just the three apartments and the janitors quarters. My first thought was that it was the family next door returning from Northern Yorkshire or wherever it was they were. But one thing struck me as suspicious; there was no lights from the car peeping through the blinds, and the sound of the engine was n't the slow `` put-put'' of the crappy Toyota station wagon, it was the deep purr of a BMW or Mercedes. Suddenly the purring stopped. The engine had been cut, eliminating the possibility of it just being a car using the drive way to turn around. 
 
 I knew exactly what this meant. 
 
 I paused the Tv and went over to the door, reaching into my waist band for my pistol, and my back pocket for the silencer. After my pistol was assembled I sat down back against the door. If they were anything like the last bunch, they would wait for me to look through the peephole, and as soon as they saw my eye on their end they would shoot. Clearly these kids did n't take me seriously. 
 
 I waited, I heard two pairs of footsteps step out of the car and walk towards the door. I held my breath. Listening. After what felt like forever, I heard one of them put their forehead on the door to look through the peep hole. It was all go. I spun and kicked away from the door, simultaneously sending one, well aimed bullet at the peep hole. There was a the noise of splintering wood, the assassins brain imploding and an outcry from his friend. I aimed at the thin wall where the out cry came from and sent another shot, quickly followed by the thud of his body. I quickly jumped up and sprinted to the door, ripped it open and dragged the bodies inside, closing the door behind me. The two assassins where typical; Black and white suits, sunglasses and pistols. I kissed my teeth and murmured `` fucking amateurs'' whilst searching their pockets. Between the two I found £125 and the keys to a BMW. I sprinted out the door, hopped in the car and drove off to another home I had out on lease and had n't been discovered by assassin amateurs. 
 
 And during my drive, all I could think about was that episode of `` Friends'' that I never got to finish. I really do like that episode. 
 
 ( I have n't written anything in a while, but I just discovered this sub-reddit and will be posting more, thank you if you had a read: ) )
