[ WP ] In the future , stores like Walmart have grown to become as large as cities . Soon an apocalypse happens , the employees gather into tribes to defend their section and to raid others sections .

`` And the citizens of spurting guds will feel our bready vengeance'' 
 
 `` Huzzah, huzzah'' cheered the soldiers of produce 
 
 `` May your shopping carts go straight, and not pull to the left like they always do'' 
 
 The soldiers of produce yelled as they charged forwards. They were headed in completely the wrong direction and ended up in a sortie with the soldiers of elktronics, fearsome technologically advanced ( for our time ) fighters who wear helmets with antlers into battle, a linguistic quirk that was lost on both armies. 
 
 I watched from the peaceful kingdom of women's wear, which against all odds, still operates as a commercial vendor. 
 
 `` We've got food, we should be fucking shit up in this motherfucking bitch'' said Private Pickle, one of the produce cart pushers `` but our fucking leadership is all fucking shit'' 
 
 There is some merit to what he says, even if he did say it in the overly profane way that has come to characterize the produce nation. 
 
 For obvious reasons they have a readily available food source, much of which will quite disturbingly never, ever go bad. 
 
 They also have most of Walmart's carts, which factor heavily into their fighting style. Cart pushers, like Private Pickle, stand on the back of the carts, propelling them forward with one leg, pulling the leg up a second before impact. 
 
 They work in tandem with cart riders. Corporal Cheese is Private Pickle's cart rider. He's in charge of doing the bulk of the damage. 
 
 `` He fucking pushes the mother fucker and I fuck shit up. Well I would if I had any fucking weapons, like I mean shit'' 
 
 Which is where the whole thing falls apart. Food is good, but apart from a few crude rockets made from pop bottles and breath mints, there is very little The Produce nation can weaponize. 
 
 `` For a while there we had the boys throwing fruit at them. We figured it was hard enough'' says Commander Cookie ( high ranking military being some of the few in the produce nation who do n't curse ) `` The problem is even if you hit someone with an apple, which is pretty hard from a moving cart, they've got a sore head for fifteen minutes and then they've got an apple'' 
 
 Indeed, most of the fruit was lost this way, leaving the produce army with individual snack cakes as a staple food. 
 
 `` They think because they have more food than anyone they're stronger, but they keep eating shit, so they feel like shit'' Brother Banana is a monk in the Good Health movement `` It's a spiritual thing, not a religion, we do n't say shit about that one way or another'' 
 
 The priest hood divides itself by swearing less than most people, but not not at all. 
 
 `` We tried it, to off putting'' says Brother Banana, who also leads mildly liberal baptist services on monday. 
 
 There is something to what he has to say. Cart pushers get enough exercise to stop all but a mild paunch, but cart riders, who effectivley sit around all day, even during training, become, in their words, fucking fatasses. 
 
 `` I'm a fucking fatass'' admits Corporal Cheese `` that's what happens when you end up in a job where you can eat twinkies even on your way into battle'' 
 
 The produce nation loses. They break against a wall of plasma screen TVs. When I say break, I do not mean it in the traditional martial sense. They literally get out of their carts and take a break to watch TV. 
 
 The Elktronics soldiers join them to. 
 
 Encounters like this are common, suggesting even three generation removed the various groups of Walmart are akin to the consumers who once shopped at Walmart and brought about the destruction of the world, at least so far as I can tell, subscribing as I do to the belief that James Patterson and Danielle Steele were not historians but storytellers and that any information about past people's comes from between the lines readings. 
 
 After coming to their senses the Elktronic soldiers gore several Produce soldiers with their antlers. 
 
 Corporal Cheese is one of the dead. 
 
 When I set off for the sporting goods section the Produce soldiers are getting sugar highs off Carbonated soft drinks and preparing to declare war on the Elktronic nation. 
 
 My research would suggest that this too, with a coupe tweaks, were the actions of those who came before. 
 

