[ WP ] Narrate a game of Civilization as though it were excerpted from a history textbook .

Around 4000 BC, the world saw the emergence of numerous civilizations; the Babylonians, Egyptians, Romans and Greeks all began to surface in their fetal forms. The Roman empire would be lead through the next 6050 years of recorded time by the mysterious leader known as Pretzel Master -- there is no record to indicate why he would have been given such a ridiculous name. 
 
 Through numerous battles catalyzed by an accidental attack upon the Babylonians while trying to come to terms on a primitive trade agreement, the Romans would gradually expand their empire as their enemy slowly crumbled. Though more culturally advanced and far more economically prosperous, they would be unable to match the rabidly-militaristic Romans, who spent virtually all of the research time and money into the creation of the world's largest army. It was a risky move that soon saw their economy begin to falter in enormous busts. 
 
 Up until roughly 1990, the Romans waged a constant war of expansion, forcibly seeking the seemingly genocidal annihilation of even those civilizations that had never before caused it any arm. Indeed, even those that were ostensibly quite friendly were subject to on-and-off war, seemingly at the whim of the strange and apparently near-sited god-emperor. Consequently, it was not until the 1990's, somehow, that the Romans, now a fairly strong nation, ultimately were at peace long enough for any real cultural progress to be made. 
 
 A young priest thought it a big deal to postulate the existence of a single and all powerful god. The rest of the world, although territorially reduced, laughed at their gentle giant of a neighboring state. Although, they did wish it was gentle, and not so prone to fits of rage and war. It was during the same period that the nation would finally transition from a feudal government to a democracy. This violent transition would entail several years of violent instability that would seriously wound the Roman economy as well as further cultural development, which became pointedly slow yet again as the nation began to prepare itself for war. 
 
 By now, the rest of the world's civilizations knew what to expect, and with none having anything but distrust and anger in their hearts for the Romans and their violent whims, formed a massive military coalition. With their superior cultures, more enlightened social programs and bustling economies, they figured that they would be able to defeat the Romans and beat them into submission, ending their days as the world's'bad boy' state. 
 
 This turned out to be a foolish assumption. In 2006, three years into the inevitable war, the Romans had a breakthrough. All of their insanely dogmatic warmongering had paid off and they achieved the pinnacle of their development: the populace of Rome bowed to their new god, the ICBM. In a flurry of activity in a do-or-die rush, Rome built dozens of these staggering demigods and launched them with abandon at the neighboring polities. 
 
 The world to this day is irradiated and large swaths of land are totally uninhabitable. They will most likely remain so for several millenniums. The Romans do not care though, as they have achieved a domination of the world's ( albeit severely damaged ) surface -- a staggering 89 %. The author of this textbook is now currently on trial in the capital of Rome, having been captured by Roman secret agents in his home town in the only other remaining polity, Egypt. The charge? Revisionist history.
