[ WP ] You are a PR executive who has just been hired by a gang of vampires to bring back their fearsome , terrifying reputation .


 The phone of Chester S Dwight, Chicago's hottest PR consultant, was never switched off. 
 He had just finished a meeting with a long time client who wanted to get back into the limelight after a sordid public scandal involving 2 Gurkhas and small explosion in an all night gentleman's club. 
 
 Feeling satisfied with the meeting and ready to call it a day, he gets a call from his assistant of 5 years `` Debbie''. 
 
 Chester. 
 `` Hey Debs, the meeting went great and I think we can go with the `` right place at the right time'' angle on this one and pin most of the blame on the Gurkhas.'' 
 
 Debbie. 
 `` Great news Chester, I'll get right information out there. 
 Now I'm calling to make you aware of a last minute meeting for 11pm tonight. 
 I know it's late and short notice but the client can only do nighttime meetings, something to do with an aversion to sunlight, 
 Anyway the clients name is `` Lord Archeon'' 
 He'll be attending the meeting with 2 members of his entourage and get this he paid triple the fee in advance.'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` Triple, really? Is this guy royalty or something?'' 
 
 Debbie. 
 `` Well he's very well spoken and although he did n't come out and say it I'm guessing from the `` lord'' moniker he's definitely well to do. 
 I'll email you the address.'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` Sure thing Debs, I'll give you a call when I get it wrapped up. Bye''. 
 
 
 Chester arrives at `` Mary's all night grill pit'' and goes to a booth at the back of the resturant/diner were 3 well dressed, pale looking men are awaiting him. 
 
 
 Chester. 
 `` So it's great to finally be able to have a meeting with you guys, my assistant Debbie really put in the extra effort arranging this with the whole daylight thing you know?'' 
 
 Lord Acheron. 
 `` Yes this Debbie has been most helpful in organising our meeting, it is something we have been anticipating with eagerness'' 
 
 
 Jareth. 
 `` We are in her debt, and thankful to you for seeing us out of regular office hours.'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` Well I got ta be honest Jareth, when I 1st got the call from Debbie explaining that a `` lord Acheron and his entourage'' wanted to have a meeting my first thought was that you guys were European royalty, but then she said you wanted to have the meeting in a 24hour diner I was a little bit surprised.'' 
 
 `` Debbie mentioned that you have a problem with sunlight? Some sort of skin condition?'' 
 
 Jareth. 
 `` You could say that, it's best if we avoid natural light altogether.'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` Ahh ok, let me jot that down, I'll be taking notes just to paint a better picture of you guys and what I can do for you.'' 
 It would be helpful if you could tell me what you're wanting to get out of this as well?'' 
 
 
 Orfeo. 
 `` We want to be feared by mortals again!'' 
 
 Lord Archeon. 
 `` Orfeo! Silence. You are not to speak unless I allow it and I have not.'' 
 
 Orfeo. 
 `` But my lord, the tomb of Valdeke will open under the next hunters moon and we only have 1 pure virgin to offer on the alter of Crimson, we need 10 more to fulfil the prophecy.'' 
 
 Lord Alrcheon. 
 `` I am aware of the ritual, now be silent.'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` That's ok, it's good that we all have input and get a dialogue going, everybody's ideas are valid and there are no stupid questions, so feel free to jump right in, it's my job to match your ideas to the best image/angle I think the public will like best to get the result you're looking for.'' 
 
 Lord Arcehon. 
 `` Despite my rude underlings speaking out of turn what he said is essentially true. We wish to be feared again by your kind.'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` I'm sorry `` my kind'' do you mean Americans?''. 
 
 Lord Archeon. 
 `` We mean mortal men, women and children, we wish to reclaim our status as Dark lords of this realm and our superiority on top of the food chain''. 
 
 Charter. 
 `` ok just a sec, let me see if I'm getting the big picture here, you want people to scared of you so you can eat them? Is that where you're coming from''. 
 
 Jareth. 
 `` Not eat them, but to feed from them, we can only achieve proper sustenance if we feed from those who live in fear of us.'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` Are you saying you guys are vampires?'' 
 
 Lord Archeon. 
 `` We have had many names over the eons but Vampires is how we are known in this time. 
 
 Chester. 
 `` Like the guys in the Twilight movies?'' 
 
 Lord Archeon. 
 `` No! Foolish mortal we are nothing like these so called vampires, we do not feast on beasts, because we feel murder is wrong, we do not play baseball or drive Volvo's and we certainly do not `` sparkle and shimmer'' in sunlight. 
 
 These motion pictures have become the bane of our existence, we can not feed properly because every mortal that we seduce with our dark powers is expecting us to become romantically attached to them and made into one of us so that we may be in love for eternity. Or be taken to Rome.'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` Ok Archie my boy, you do n't mind if I call you Archie? Great. 
 It sounds like that Robert Pattinson...... 
 
 Jareth. 
 `` DO NOT SPEAK HIS NAME IN OUR PRESENCE IF YOU VALUE YOUR SOUL''. 
 
 Chester. 
 `` Woah, looks like I touched a nerve there? 
 Calm down big guy I'll hold off on the R bombs from now on, just take it easy. 
 
 Now I want to help you guys out partly because you've paid a substantial amount of money upfront and well because I do value my soul.'' 
 
 Jareth. 
 `` My apologies, you must understand that we view HIM as the reason for our downfall. 
 
 We are willing to do whatever is necessary to restore our image.'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` Well alright then, that's the spirit of you could just tell your friend to let go of my throat then we can continue.'' 
 
 Lord Archeon. 
 `` Release him Orfeo. At once.'' 
 
 Orfeo. 
 `` My lord he spoke the chiseled ones name, I must punish him.'' 
 
 Lord Archeon. 
 `` Orfeo! By all that is Dark if you do not release this mortal I shall lock you in the chamber of a thousand screams for the next millennia.'' 
 
 Orfeo. 
 `` As you wish.'' 
 
 Chester. 
 cough cough, 
 `` Quite a grip you got there buddy, fast too, real fast. 
 You ever consider a career in the UFC? 
 Just look it up when you get a chance. 
 You also might want to see somebody about those fingernails.'' 
 
 Now as for the whole image thing for you guys, I'm thinking you want something big, something that's going to say you do n't screw with these guys because they'll hurt you bad. They'll hit you where it hurts. 
 
 Lord Archeon. 
 `` That sounds like it may work, but what do you suggest?'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` Glad you're jumping on this idea train with me Archie bubbee, the final station is Fruitionville. 
 
 And to get there we need to make a quick stop at plantown.'' 
 
 Lord Archeon. 
 `` Are you saying we steal a Train?'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` Metaphors Archie my man, but if you do n't sprekin my lingo I'll talk yours. 
 
 I think you need to kidnap your nemesis and execute him in front of the worlds tv cameras so everybody knows the boys are back in town. 
 
 That's your solution right there get rid of the fly in your ointment and with the same stone scare the bejesus out of the entire world. 
 
 You feel me dawg?'' 
 
 Lord Archeon. 
 `` Yes this has great potential, I see no fault in your plan or logic.'' 
 
 Jareth. 
 `` Yes this may indeed work, we will soon be rid of the accursed image that these movies have given us.'' 
 
 Orfeo. 
 `` May I speak my lord?'' 
 
 Lord Archeon. 
 `` Is it relevant to this conversation?'' 
 
 Orfeo. 
 `` Yes, there is a fault in this mortals plan.'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` I ca n't see one but what's gilberting your grape there pal?'' 
 
 Orfeo. 
 `` Well your plan involves us taking the life of the chiseled one in front of cameras, our kind can not be filmed or recorded in any way. 
 We do not even have reflections.'' 
 
 Lord Archeon. 
 `` He his correct, part of being a Dark one is that we can not be seen by false eyes, I had forgotten about this in my excitement.'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` Ai n't no worries Archie, we just need to tweak the plan that's all, good spot Oreo.'' 
 
 Orfeo. 
 `` My name is Orfeo.'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` That's what I said. Not to good at the listening thing huh? 
 
 Anyway here's what you guys do, 
 
 You go out and buy some long sinister looking black robes, with some headscarves, throw them on and then do the deed. 
 
 Can your voices be recorded?'' 
 
 Jareth. 
 `` They can but it will be in our mother, tongue a dead language to mortal ears known as Aramaic from were the first of us hailed.'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` Sounds scary as shit to me, and you can always write in english what you're saying on some cue cards to hold up during the speech. 
 Everyone's a winner.'' 
 
 Now have you guys got a symbol, because brand recognition is very important in this day and age.'' 
 
 Lord Archeon. 
 `` Our symbol is the black flag of the dark'' 
 
 Chester. 
 `` Sound menacing, maybe lacking a little colour though... 
 
 Seeing as you guys will be wearing all black, maybe a dot of white on the flag might make it really pop as a contrast?'' 
 
 Lord Archeon. 
 `` Yes this sounds appealing to me we shall begin preparations for this immediately unless there are any concerns?'' 
 
 Jareth. 
 `` None my lord. The plan is sound.'' 
 
 Orfeo. 
 `` My lord I have a concern.'' 
 
 Lord Archeon. 
 `` You have said to much Orfeo, if you were n't my own blood I would have left you in the day light centuries ago.'' 
 
 Orfeo. 
 `` But my lord, the flag, the robes our mother tongue. They are reminiscent of I...... 
 
 Lord Archeon. 
 `` Enough from you. I will not let your incompetence ruin this for us, you are forbidden from speaking until the next hunters moon''. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

