[ WP ] You live in a world where suicide is illegal . There is a division of law enforcement that travels to the afterlife to catch people that committed suicide and then bring them back to serve time in prison . You just killed yourself and someone is chasing you , but it 's not the cops .

**1. ** 
 
 `` I'm not sure guys,'' I said, frowning. 
 
 `` Will you fucking do it already?'' urged the first voice on my shoulder. 
 
 `` Calm down, Dagan,'' responded the second. 
 
 `` Shut the fuck up, Adriel.'' 
 
 `` Guys,'' I urged. `` You're not helping. Adriel, do we have to do this?'' 
 
 `` I'm sorry, but yeah we have to,'' I heard her voice quiver, she was n't sure at all. 
 
 `` Dagan?'' 
 
 He crossed his little arms, his face pouting. `` I've been waiting for this all week.'' 
 
 Adriel leant over my shoulder to look at him. `` Really, Dagan? Is that all you think about?'' 
 
 `` I'm a demon,'' he explained, eyes wide, slapping his thigh. `` I like death. It's not my fault you're a boring fucking angel.'' 
 
 `` You swear a lot.'' 
 
 `` No shit, sugar-tits.'' 
 
 Adriel humphed, crossing her arms and looking to the sky. `` Lord give me strength.'' 
 
 `` Guys, shut up, I need to compose myself. I'm going to jump.'' 
 
 `` If I was four foot taller I'd have pushed you a week ago.'' 
 
 `` Oh yeah, Dagan, so how would being four foot, seven inches help you - *wahh! *'' 
 
 I had jumped. It had to be done, I'm afraid. 
 
 **2** 
 
 The building was seven stories tall and I passed each one in less than half as many seconds. I felt small hands dig into my neck and collar for purchase. The screaming of the angel and the demon on the shoulders. The emissaries from those above and below to tell me I had a real job to do. I just had to kill myself - go figure. 
 
 I did n't scream. I think I had left my voice on top of the building. The ground rushed to meet me each pebble on the black tar pavement as clear to my eyes as the stars in the sky. My last thought on Earth was of how beautiful the ground was. 
 
 Then I left my body. I had a residual feeling, like waking from a dream, of a body impacting a ground with a squelching thud, of blood, brains and bone scattering from the body, dead on impact. I did n't stop. 
 
 `` The soul,'' Adrial told me before I leapt. `` The souls is what goes on.'' 
 
 `` Bullshit,'' replied Dagan. `` What goes on is the memory of your sins.'' 
 
 But now neither of them were any help. They were both screaming voices in my ear, soft, tiny hands on my skin and clothes ( fortunately they had come with me. ) The fall after death was a short one. Whatever part of me did n't die ( or continued after death ) fell for a short while in a darkness of which I seemed to be the only light source. Then grey walls appeared, surrounding me, in the distance I spotted the ground. Seconds later I made it's acquaintance. 
 
 Adrial rolled off me, she walked a few paces away and vomited. Dagan rolled off my back laughing and whooping. 
 
 `` Come on Adrial, let's fuckin' go.'' 
 
 `` Just a... just a second.'' 
 
 `` You angels man, do n't have the stomach for nothing.'' 
 
 `` I hate to disappoint, Dagan, but...'' - she retched - `` we are in the underworld. And, might I add, not *your* underworld.'' 
 
 He frowned at her, baring his teeth. `` Come on, pussy, get up.'' 
 
 I groaned. Felt him kick me, like a child flicking you. `` Not just yet,'' I breathed into the clay-like earth. 
 
 `` I'm sorry, Ethan, we do have to go.'' Adrial appeared at my ear, one hand resting comfortably on my cheek. 
 
 `` Not just yet. I... I ca n't...'' 
 
 `` Come on dude.'' Dagan had stopped kicking me, he crouched down in front of my face, almost shoulder to shoulder with Adrial. `` We got ta go, the *Mortem Vigilum* will be on us in a few minutes and we need to be gone from here.'' 
 
 `` I did just die.'' 
 
 `` You did a great job,'' Adrial reassured. 
 
 `` Well done, the only thing you did well in life was to end it. Get the fuck up.'' 
 
 `` Dagan you're a real dick.'' 
 
 `` You should see my boss, *whew*, now that guys an asshole. And always naked, so literally a dick.'' 
 
 `` Dagan!'' Adrial chastised, slapping him on the shoulder. 
 
 I groaned heavily, and the two stepped back. I slapped the ground, and pushed myself up weakly. `` It's cold,'' I observed, kneeling on the floor. 
 
 `` Yup,'' Dagan agreed. `` I'm used to much warmer climes than this. What about you Adrial? I imagine heaven is fucking freezing.'' 
 
 `` Heaven is never *freezing*, nor is it boiling. Whatever your perfect temperature is, it's that.'' 
 
 `` Sounds shit.'' 
 
 `` Well Hell is much worse, at least in Heaven you don't-'' 
 
 `` Guys,'' I snapped. `` Shut up. I do n't want to curse at an angel, but shut the fuck up. I've got a migraine, and I'm dead.'' 
 
 `` Not much of an angel,'' Dagan uttered under his breath. `` Does n't even have wings.'' 
 
 `` And where's your tail,'' she hissed back. `` and horns.'' 
 
 `` Guys!'' I threatened. 
 
 Adrial stuck out her tongue. I pretended not to notice. Neither angels nor demons were kind what I expected them to be, I mean, after I realised they existed. And they appeared to me. Told me I had to do something. I had to die. 
 
 I rose to my feet. `` How you doing, champ?'' Dagan shouted up. 
 
 `` Better than the grave.'' 
 
 `` Funny bloke, ai n't he, this one. Let us up!'' 
 
 `` You both ok?'' I knelt down, offering my hand. Dagan looked down at himself, scruffy jeans, hi-top shoes, baggy t-shirt, stubble. He sat on my hand and I bought him up to my shoulder. 
 
 `` What about you Adrial? You ok?'' 
 
 `` Other than that... brat. I'm fine.'' She brushed herself down, tight jeans, white blouse, sensible pumps, red beanie over her golden hair. 
 
 `` You're ok, Adrial.'' She climbed into my hand and I put her on my other shoulder, where she sat comfortably. 
 
 I took in my surroundings. Black cavern, never-ending pit, grey-brown walls, almost vertical staircase. 
 
 `` Just what I expected.'' 
 
 `` It's all for show,'' Adrial reassured me. 
 
 `` Come on guys. The cops are probably already gearing up. And it'll be here soon. You know... *it*... 
 
 I put my hand on the wall and headed towards the stairs, and down. 
 
 ** [ To be continued ] **
