[ WP ] Near the end of your life you 're given a book containing every lie ever told to you .

`` What's this?'' You ask, taken aback. You're already put off by the appearance of what you *think* is an angel. But you're an atheist. Getting handed a rather heavy book only puts a weird cherry on top of a weird cake. Your hospital room looks the same as it always did these past few months. Only a tall, winged person is standing in it. 
 
 `` It's a book that contains every lie told to you, and lies that will be told, until your dying breath.'' His... her... its voice is kind of smug. As if you should have known the answer. Now you're annoyed. 
 
 `` White lies?'' 
 
 `` Yes. That counts as a lie.'' You should have realized that. 
 
 `` What about if someone meant it once and then later changed their mind. I've done that. I hated my wife's cooking but I told her I liked it. Then I realized I *did* like it.'' You're running through countless scenarios. 
 
 `` At the time, you knew it to be a lie, so it would be in the book.'' 
 
 `` Uh, sir, miss... chief. If I read that lie, I would think it was *still* a lie, right?'' 
 
 ``... How often do you lie about cooking? Look, Daniel, it does n't matter. Every sentence in that book is a lie. If it became true later, it does not retroactively cancel out the lie.'' You can see it's getting annoyed. Your sense of superiority grows a little. 
 
 `` There's no really telling what the lie really meant though, right?'' 
 
 `` A lie is a lie.'' It seems intrigued now, if still quite nonplussed. 
 
 `` Well, no. If I read in here that Amanda lied when she said I was good in bed, could that theoretically mean she meant I was actually great in bed?'' 
 
 `` I... well, I suppose. A small lie, big lie, and half-truth are all under the umbrellas of lies.'' 
 
 `` So everything in here might just be a half truth, or even spur of the moment lie. How am I supposed to learn anything from this?'' You're grinning. You've got it trapped now. It - the angel thing - shakes its head. 
 
 `` You're supposed to learn the truths of your life, good and bad.'' 
 
 `` But I'm not. I'm learning what was lie, not what the truth was. I can say it's cold out, and be lying, but that does n't say what the actual truth was.'' You were just being coy before, but now you're angry that some divine being would put this paradox on you. 
 
 `` You were always argumentative. There's a lot of lies regarding that in there.'' It realized its mistake before the sentence finished. It's quite a sight, to see an Angel look regretful. 
 
 `` YOU READ THEM? That's personal!'' It takes a lot of personal strength not to laugh. You're enjoying the upper hand. You already assumed something divine would know what was in the book. Could it read your mind now, you wonder?'' 
 
 `` Look, I-'' 
 
 `` Were you told not to peek? You know, my human mailman had enough will power not to open my mail. Yet Archangel PeekyBoo over here snoops through my lie book.'' 
 
 `` I'm sorry. I was n't expressly told not to, if that helps.'' Well, you've done it. You embarrassed an Angel. Nice going. 
 
 `` I was n't expressly told not to snoop through my grandmother's underwear drawer. But I did n't do that, did I?'' 
 
 `` I'm sorry, Daniel.'' 
 
 A grin spreads across your face. You open the book and start looking at dates at the top of the page. You flip to the end. The look of confusion does n't leave the Angel's face. You find today's date. 
 
 `` AHA!'' You show the page, your finger sternly on the second line. In a beautifully written script you show the Angel their apology on the page, `` You lied! Are you allowed to lie? Is n't that a sin? Why even apologize if you do n't mean it?'' 
 
 `` I'm going to go now. Just remember - everything in the book is a lie. Goodbye Daniel. See you shortly.'' 
 
 You try to ask how shortly is shortly, but the Angel vanishes. Not that it matters. You're less than a generous two weeks from death. 
 
 ****************** 
 
 You decide to open the book from the beginning. There are lies you do n't remember, lies told to you as an infant, as a toddler, as a child. 
 
 *You're the most beautiful baby in the world. * Well, duh, not every baby is precious. You've seen your baby pictures. You were weird looking. 
 
 *You're the smartest kid in the whole class. * Why the fuck did you even believe that at 8 years old. Suzy was on the honor roll. 
 
 You skip ahead a little in time, to high school. A lot of the lies earlier came from your parents and nothing was truly outrageous. Although you're a little sad your mother lied about loving the hand-made lamp from grade three. Jesus mom. What did you expect? 
 
 *You're bigger than Alex Napier* Well, you could have been the same size. That would have made it a lie right? Anyway, you appreciate Kim making you feel better. You're pretty sure your lie about the acne not being obvious will be in her book, anyway. 
 
 ************* 
 
 Four days later, you're coming to the end of the book. You feel pretty exhausted. There were many sobering moments. Your wife cheated on you. But you never fully believed her. There were two loves who got away. It's funny. The *I do n't love you* from the two women you truly loved before your wife hurt more than the *I love yous* that started appearing from your wife near the end of her life. 
 
 *You know I'm not gay right. * Yeah Mike, and we're both straight as an arrow but bent into a pretzel for the fun of it. That's okay, your *me neither* will be in his book too. And, sadly, so will your *once was enough. * You did kind of like Mike. 
 
 Flipping through the pages, you realize nothing really jumps out. There are no revelations. A lot of people did n't like you. Well, you did n't like them either. You were n't a hero to your kids. Well, no fucking shit. You were a drunk. 
 
 A smile crosses your lips. You go to a date, four days ago. You find the *I'm sorry* from the Angel. You read the entry after that, and double take. On the same day, at roughly the same time, there's two more entries. 
 
 *Everything in the book is a lie. * 
 
 and 
 
 *See you shortly*
