[ WP ] You are a supervillain named The Keymaster . Instead of creating grand plans to conquer the world , all you do is run around and free other captured supervillains from prison , after the superheroes defeat them .

`` Have a wonderful afternoon, and thank you again for using the services of The Keymaster - when you've been stopped, call the key at the top!'' 
 
 Grunter gave me a, well, grunt and shambled off towards the front of the prison. Not the world's most eloquent villain, in both disposition and, let's face it, planning. However, his escapades had made him one of my most frequent and loyal customers, and truly the reason for my rewards program. 
 
 I quickly updated his file on my iPad. Two more captures, and the next one would be free. Grunter had been a busy and thoroughly unsuccessful villain this year, but at $ 2,000,000 a rescue, I was n't going to complain about his evil ineptitude. 
 
 I strolled into the next maximum security block. `` Afternoon, Joe,'' I murmured as I came up behind the lone guard. 
 
 He did n't event flinch, and gave me a small bow as I slipped a $ 100 into his hand. `` KM, what's up?'' Joe gave me a fist bump. `` Have n't seen you around these parts in a while. What have you been up to?'' 
 
 `` Well, the Swiss banking system went through that upgrade a couple months ago, so I've been bouncing around the European system, breaking out those too stupid to get with the times,'' I explained. 
 
 Joe shook his head. `` I still ca n't believe Sabina got caught. I'm assuming you charged her some outlandish premiums because of that screw up!'' 
 
 I laughed, and nodded while I rubbed my fingers together. `` Oh yeah. When your'super secret' back door, worm hole, blah blah blah, virus results in the Feds showing up at your not-so-secret lair in less than 5 minutes, you need to pay some fees.'' 
 
 Joe laughed. `` Well, that's why you're the man. And I assume you're here for...'' he gestured down the hallway. 
 
 `` Absolutely,'' I said. I ran my fingers through my hair nervously, picked up my iPad again and checked my reflection. 
 
 `` I figured you'd be excited,'' Joe said. `` When she was captured, we definitely wanted to make sure she ended up in our facility.'' 
 
 `` You're the man,'' I said, clapping him on the back. `` Well, after this, I'm off to Canada, so I'll see you in a month or so.'' I gave him a mock bow. `` Thank you for your business,'' I proffered, and then swept down the next hallway. 
 
 I was not a complicated villain. So many villains these days were so focused on making a splash, catching the attention of the world, and generating fear, that they forgot about the most important thing - generating revenue for their schemes. 
 
 I had been an eclectic child. I took advanced Economics in high school, anchored the 4X400 for the relay team, and ran the local maker space, where I picked up a thousand hobbies, including lock picking. After graduation from Harvard, I quickly figured out that the regular work force was not for me, and started bouncing from place to place consulting on whatever I was an `` expert'' on that week. And the best part was, I was given every password to examine files in these companies, and yet, they never figured out that it was me, skimming from their companies. But then again, they were dealing with an evil genius, who always laid a trail to another employee who was arrested, convicted, jailed, and then let free by myself. Turns out that this evil financial genius had a heart... who knew? 
 
 Oh, I knew I had a heart, and as I drew closer to the cell at the end of the hallway, I could feel it pounding in my chest. I adjusted my mask, slicked back my hair, and stepped in front of the cell door with a purr. `` Temptress, how lovely to see you again.'' 
 
 A red-caped lump on the cell bed stirred, stood, and became the 5'5'', blonde, smiling woman of my dreams. 
 
 It was all Temptress' fault that I was in this game. I had broken into a jail to break out Colin Locklear, a Hedge Fund manager I had framed for a $ 20million dollar loss. I was ushering Colin to the exit when a roll of toilet paper hit me in the back of the head. `` Pst, you!'' 
 
 I turned and laid eyes on Temptress for the first time. Wavy hair, down to her mid-back, a tight black leather costume that would have made Catwoman blush, and hazel eyes that stared into my soul. 
 
 `` So, what do I need to pay you to get me outta here?'' She asked, tapping her 3 inch stiletto boot impatiently, pouting her perfect red lips. 
 
 I was still in shock when I decided to play hard to get. `` $ 5 million,'' I said, immediately wishing I'd said something a little more romantic like, `` nothing, for I would gladly sweep you away for naught but a kiss''. 
 She pulled a slim briefcase out from under the bed. `` Done,'' she said, offering me a USB drive. `` Instructions for wiring $ 5mil are on this drive. Now get me out of here. The Louvre is n't going to raid itself!'' 
 
 I picked the lock and she sashayed into the hallway, brushing her lips against my cheek as she passed me. She smelled like heaven... and a little like an oil painting. But I guess she was headed back to the Louvre. 
 `` You're a star,'' she breathed against my cheek. `` How do I get a hold of you the next time I need my rescuer?'' 
 
 And that's how I became the Keymaster. That rescue parlayed into a network of clumsy super villains, bribes to maximum security prisons, and a multimillion dollar business. But I always held my breath, hoping she would need me again. It was n't often, but the Temptress was always good for a call at least once a year. 
 
 And here she was standing in front of me now. `` My hero,'' she giggled. `` I'd be more upset about getting caught with the Latvian nuclear codes if it did n't mean I got to see you again my dear.'' 
 
 I tried my best to look dashing. `` I'm just glad you were extradited to Hawaii. You can work on your tan before finally taking over the world,'' I grinned. 
 
 She flipped her hair. `` I can only assume you had something to do with that, my dearest Key,'' she cooed. `` When I infiltrate NASA and use their resources to colonize the moon, you'll be the first person I bring up.'' 
 
 Even though I knew it was just lip service, I melted. Temptress could have anyone she wanted ( I mean, her name was pretty apt! ), but I could n't help but daydream about a life with her, without the shenanigans... 
 
 We headed back to the prison entrance together. Joe did me a solid by pretending to be afraid of me, and gave me a trembling salute as we walked past. We stepped out into the warm Hawaiian breeze together, and she turned to face me. `` Well Key,'' she murmured. `` I would say I would hope I'd never see you again, but...'' she trailed off as she ran her fingers along my cheek. Then she leaned into my ear and whispered, `` but it's always a pleasure,'' and gave my earlobe a quick nip. 
 
 And then she was gone again, leaping across rooftops to where I'd promised her chopper would be waiting. I sighed and unlocked my Aston Martin. Perhaps this was a younger man's game, as I did n't think my heart could take anymore tempting. But that was a though for another day - I was off to Canada to break out some bumbling, would-be Maple syrup thieves. 
 
 **first time posting on this sub, hope you enjoy!
