[ WP ] The devil once promised he would grant you any wish , free of charge , on the day Hell froze over . Today he 's back , and covered in snow .

I pretended I had n't heard him right at first. “ I beg your pardon, what? ” 
 
 The Devil's eyes could often be described as horrible orbs of fiendish hellfire on a nice day, but for once they appeared almost hollow and empty. “ You heard correctly, Ace. Hell hath frozen over. ” 
 
 My mouth twitched into a wry grin almost of it's own accord. “ Oh bugger. Sounds like you're in a rather tight spot then. I ca n't exactly help you with this though. I've forbidden myself from interfering with apocalyptic situations for at least the afternoon. ” I held up the book I had been reading. “ You see, I wanted the afternoon off to lounge in my comfy chair and read this lovely book. ” 
 
 Beelzebub sighed. “ I ’ m not here to beg. The situation is already being rectified. However, I believe we once cut a deal in which I would, and I quote, grant you any one wish of your choosing if Hell froze over. ” 
 
 I had to truly pretend not to be delighted. Hell freezing over is a terrible tragedy, and usually a sign of the end times. It was simply too great a feat to have the Prince of Darkness owing you. “ Ah right, of course. The deal. Well, I do happen to have use of your services, though my request is a bit peculiar. I'm afraid I require a human soul, and not any random soul. I'll need the mad Arab, Abdul Alhazred. ” 
 
 The Devil seemed puzzled. “ That ’ s it? You can ask for anything, and you simply want the soul of a madman. ” 
 
 I nodded. “ It wo n't be any problem, will it? I feel as if it's a rather simple request. ” 
 
 He snapped his fingers, bringing a contract to bear. It was signed in blood, in a scrawl that one could never assume to be human. It was exactly what I was looking for. I idly took it from his claw. I wanted to take a moment and rub this in once more, but he had already disappeared before I could make another comment. I crinkled my nose in disgust. His absence had left a stench of brimstone. From experience on the subject, that would be a challenge to get rid of. 
 
 “ You can come out now. ” I called to the darkness. 
 
 A sweet female voice called back. “ Is this any different from robbing Peter to pay Paul? ” She pulled the contract from my hand, inspecting it. 
 
 “ I would prefer the term brokering. I'm like a middleman, get everyone want they want. ” I walked over to the side of the room, and flicked the switch on an almost comically large snow machine. 
 
 “ I would consider you a charlatan, but the result is fair. I must ask though, how far back do your deals go? What did you even ask for in the first place? ” Lady Death put the contract away, apparently satisfied with the contents. 
 
 I shrugged. “ Hell if I know, but ever since I've kept good company. That's a deal in itself. ” 

