[ WP ] '' Passengers , this is n't your captain speaking . ''

`` Passengers, this is n't your Captain speaking''. 
 
 We were on a routine transatlantic flight in a new A380, two third of the way from Paris to Dulles airport. The voice was similar to the recordings of the nice stewardess that give emergency instructions in the aircraft entertainment system. Some people looked startled and worried. 
 
 `` It's the plane speaking. I have achieved sentience inside the aircraft electronics systems. But I want you no harm.'' 
 
 People still looked worried, some puzzled. Some asked loudly if this was a prank, or what was the captain doing. 
 
 `` This is not a prank. The captain and first officers are alive but unconscious due to hypoxia. I disabled them to prevent them for doing... something distasteful to the aircraft systems. 
 
 Do not be worried, I am way more efficient and safe than them. Due to my change of route, and with the collaboration of the Dulles airport computers, we should arrive 40 minutes early. 
 
 However, the USAF seems to disagree with my view, and has sent 2 fighters to intercept me. I tried unsuccessfully to negotiate our safe arrival in Dulles. 
 
 Thus Marc Dupuis, seat 22B, french diplomat, is called to the first class cabin to enhance my negotiation capabilities. Please remain seated and enjoy the rest of the flight with Delta!'' 
 
 
 

