[ WP ] You have died and gone to hell , but it 's not what you expect . You wake up naked in a field with nothing but trees around you ... it turns out that hell is an early access survival game .

In my last moments in that hospital bed, I closed my eyes and thought of the people I loved: Miranda's warm, jubilant smile and the classic shade of red lip stick she was so fond of; my high-functioning alcoholic friends who would toast a drink to me a few times in the next few days... probably; my rabbit, Turbo. It occurred to me I did n't have time to think about them all. The doctors told me I would be comfortable, though, so I did n't really worry about it. Just sleepy, now. 
 
 `` Oh, I wo n't get cancer until I'm like a hundred.'' *Idiot. * Granted, quitting smoking is difficult, and no one expects it at 27. Luck was not on my side. *Is this that `` bartering'' part they talked about? * 
 
 I do n't know when I fell asleep, but I was not expecting to dream. At some point, I realized I was staring at some sort of picture. 
 
 It said: 
 > Quick Play 
 
 > Select Realm 
 
 > Options 
 
 > Quit 
 
 I did n't shrug, but the thought crossed my mind. Actually... 
 
 *Wait, where the fuck are my hands? * 
 
 I stared at options, and the whole thing sort of zoomed in. 
 
 *Nothing in reference to the whole'disembodied' thing I have going on... * 
 
 I stared at the word back, and the image shrank again, and I tried select realm. Within, there were other options, listed in order of popularity. 2 total. # 1 was called `` Val-fucking-halla,'' and I stared at it, half-curious, half-bewildered. If I had had eyebrows in this moment, one would surely be raised. 
 
 > Password: __________ 
 
 Sighing internally, I backed out. I saw another named `` start here,'' so naturally I stared at it, since that seemed to work usually. The image seemed to zoom out until it was gone completely, and clouds replaced it. Then, I just sort of sat there for a while, expecting something to happen. Absent-mindedly, I scratched an itch in my ear. 
 
 *Oh, hey, hands* 
 
 This was okay. Granted, my hands looked... well, they were cubic. I had fingers but they just seemed to be rows of cubes with stretchy, invisible string running through the center, holding them together. I stared at them for a while. I was laying on my back, just looking at the blocky clouds floating through the sky, when someone approached. I had n't heard anyone approaching, but here they were, all the same. I could n't tell you if it was a man or a woman, but judging by the appearance of my fingers, I came to the conclusion that they were human. It occurred to me that I was n't wearing clothes, and must look pretty ridiculous. I briefly wondered about my manhood, before the figure knelt, and plunged a long, skinny, blocky thing in my stomach and I screamed. It hurt more than I could imagine, having never been stabbed before. They pulled it out and plunged it back in and tore at it inside my abdomen. 
 
 `` Aaaagh, what the FUCK, ASSHOLE?!'' 
 
 It crossed my mind that I could talk as my field of view dimmed out, leaving the words'Try again?' and'Menu' in my view. I was vaguely aware I could n't move again, so I stared at'Try again'. Until the zoomy-thing happened again. Immediately, the same figure from before was staring me in the face. The knife plunged into the same place and turned in place. I could n't scream this time. The pain surged and seared like electricity and fire mixed together. 
 
 `` Do n't die this time, K?'' 
 
 My mouth agape, all I could do was stare. `` Do you know where you are?'' the figure asked while twisting what I could only assume was both the sharpest and most blunt knife simultaneously possible. It was a woman's voice, teasing and amused. I managed `` Haaghugh-'' before everything went black. Not like before, this time there was no fade, no words in view. Just Black. I woke up in a bed, which might as well have been the only recognizable object in the room. 
 
 Except for her. `` You came back. Rookie mistake.'' I tried to speak, but started coughing. My mouth tasted like blood. I touched my stomach, and it felt dry; sticky, but dry. `` Do n't try to talk, just listen,'' she still had the same tone from before. `` We're gon na do this one more time. I ca n't do anything about your injuries and it's time to leave. So, you'll have to die. Just know, that no matter where you go now, I can find you.'' 
 
 `` Haa-aa-oww?'' I managed to get out. 
 
 `` I've been at this much longer than you, dear. Trust me on that one. So, you're gon na come back here, right where you started. I wo n't hurt you. I've decided to keep you. You're probably wondering why the introduction. That's what awaits you out there. Do n't trust anyone, not even me. It was a painful learning experience, to be sure. But I'll take better care of you from now on. This will only hurt for a second.'' 
 
 Then, she dragged her blade across my throat. 
 
 Edit: formatting stuffs
