[ WP ] You are the main character of this world and you are aware of it . One day you are caught in a hostage situation during a bank robbery . You know that even doing stupid things can get you out safe , everything simply works out for you .

Time to get to work. No amount of training can prepare a person for this kind of ordeal. 
 
 You see, I'd been trapped; tied up from head to toe, there was no escape for any reasonable observer. I was trapped here in this big city bank with all these 3rd rate actors. 
 
 Well, I guess they're not actors since they're real people, but that's how I've thought of everyone except the antagonists ever since I realized how powerful I was. I can persuade anyone to do what I want, I can hit a target with a shotgun from 30 meters away, I can always land a car perfectly after jumping a ramp. It's almost as if my life is an action movie. 
 
 This scene was no different than the 30 others I find myself in every day. Bad guy does something bad. I do some badass jumps, kicks, flips, and karate. Then bad guy runs away or gets arrested. It's almost more fun when they run though, cause then that means more action later for me -- or I get to have a chase sequence. Those are my favorite. 
 
 `` What's your name?'' 
 
 I snap back into this awesome reality. 
 
 `` You, with the stunningly handsome face I'm about to kick in, answer me!'' my captor shouted. 
 
 `` Hornripper, Barry Hornripper.'' I answer confidently. 
 
 `` Well, Barry, today is your unlucky day.'' He said as he aimed his bazooka at me. 
 
 `` If you say so buddy.'' I quip, knowing how awesome I am. 
 
 `` You pissed off the wrong guy today, hombre.'' 
 
 He pulled the trigger on the bazooka, and nothing happened. Just as I predicted. 
 
 He tried pulling it again. Nothing. 
 
 Finally he looked down the barrel. 
 
 Even I surprise myself at what I'm capable of sometimes: I kicked off my shoe towards where I heard his voice. From what I saw in that moment, the shoelace caught on the trigger and pulled it once more. This time it went off. The rocket fired straight through the robber's head and blew up the ceiling above. I turned my body around perfectly timed to catch a piece of the golden chandelier that fell. I quickly used the jagged edge to cut my hands free, then my legs. 
 
 At this point, the other three robbers finally realized what I'd done and picked up their AKs to fire at me. Well, I ran directly at one. His gun jammed. I disposed of him promptly with a headbutt followed by a sweeping leg kick. I grabbed his gun and took cover behind the bank counter. 
 
 I heard bullets dashing up against the plywood, and thought to myself how lucky it was that they made their counters out of a bulletproof material. 
 
 I took a quick peek above cover to locate the other two bad guys. I saw one spraying bullets manically like a total psychopath. Like really dude? At least aim instead of going full Rambo on everyone. 
 
 I lifted my gun, fired off a single round, and downed him with a perfect shot through the heart. 
 
 At this point, the other bad guy realized he was alone 1v1 versus a wicked awesome hero, who was n't afraid of any of his tactics. 
 
 He ran. 
 
 This made me happy. It was my first chase sequence all week. 
 
 Dashing out of the rubble-ridden bank, I watched him drive off. A 30 second head start always made it more exciting. 
 
 I walked up to the first car I saw -- a 2017 Bugatti Chiron, the car I had been dreaming of driving since they tied me up. 
 
 The keys were in the glove compartment, the second place I look after the sun visor. Pretty typical. 
 
 I started the engine and peeled out on a daring quest to catch that guy before he did real damage to the city. 
 
 After hopping on the freeway, I spotted his beat up white van easily amongst the rest of the traffic. I pulled up next to him with a smile and a wave. He panicked and fired off a few shots at me. All of which missed by a mile. 
 
 A few seconds later, I was too busy mocking this guy and his bad aim that I totally did n't see the huge trailer in front of me. Fortunately, it was one of those trucks they haul cars with and my Bugatti hit the up ramp just right so I drove to the top. 
 
 Thinking quickly, I jumped out and onto the van beside me. I landed it like some Olympic gold medalist and then crawled to the front windshield so I could really make fun of this fool. 
 
 I hung around for a little bit ( all while he tried to shake me off ), and finally decided to crawl in. I punched him five or six times, but he stayed conscious somehow. I was getting a little bored with his schtick, so I turned the van towards the nearest gas station and rolled out. 
 
 The van sped right into pump number 4 and everything exploded. 
 
 I walked away casually. The day was saved, the city was safe, I was a hero once again. 
 
 Hopefully tomorrow helicopters are involved...
