[ WP ] You are the oldest inhabitant of Hell . Even the Devil does n't know how long you 've been here . Denizens of Hell normally expect that the oldest sinner would be someone of pure evil , but in truth you 're actually a pretty chill dude .

Mike: `` You ai n't shit, your momma ai n't shit, and your kids ai n't shit Lucifer, and you damn well know it. There were four of us down here before your ass came falling from the skies into these depths of'HELL'. You may have made it out a few thousand years ago and helped kill God's son, and all these newbies come down here thinking you're the shit, but, you know what, FUCK YOU!''. 
 
 Mike was drunk again, yelling his ass off at Satan. Later this evening he'll come around trying to recruit me again. The original four is what he calls us, Mike, Ava, Kylie and Ethan. 
 
 *Later that Evening* 
 
 Mike: `` Ethan, man I'm serious, we need to come together with our knowledge and powers we can rule this bitch. Think about it, we'll call it MAKE, soon there will be a revolution, and'The MAKER's' will rule hell'' he says. 
 
 Ethan: I know man, and one day we will, but you've seen what's going down on Earth and every 10 years we go back to Earth for an entire year, so if we take over here, we'll just lose it all once we get sent back to Earth. 
 
 Mike: You know as well as I do, we did n't see anything past this next year. There will be no Earth to be sent back to. 
 
 Ethan: We do n't know that. Anyway, where's Ava, she's usually with you when you get like this. What does she think? 
 
 Mike: She was sent up to Earth yesterday. Already causing trouble too. Maybe she'll be the one to put an end to things up there once and for all. She's one pale, cold and heartless bitch. 
 
 Ethan: I'm going to bed man, sober up, and stop causing trouble with Luci, you know he talks a lot of shit, but he turns into a complete ass when you call him out like that. 
 
 
 Truth is, we do n't know why we are even down here. We just woke up here, with a shit ton of knowledge. We know everything that will happen on Earth ten years in advance, and we're allowed to walk the Earth for a full year once a decade. Lucifer has no power over us, truth is he can only control the real evil/vile sinners, and when he gets control, he uses them to keep order down here. Mike is right about one thong though, we ca n't see passed this year. Something's about to go down, we just do n't know what it is. Looks like we're being called to Earth again, I have 24 hours to choose a body to take over. I usually pick an actor or someone really famous and claim their `` retirement'' from the industry, then go around slaying pussy and spending their money, haha. If this is the end, then I'm going to finally do it, I'm going to take over Leonardo DiCaprio. Fucker just won an Oscar, and he's always drowning in pussy. 
 
 *Next Morning* 
 
 *NEEEIIIGGGHHHH* *NEEEIIIGGGHHHHH* 
 
 Ethan: The fuck is this outside. Is that a horse? *I can barely move* Armor? 
 
 Kylie: Rise and shine sweetheart, your horse is outside, Mike and Ava are already wreaking hell on Earth, we have to go stop them and bring some order to things. If I had to guess, we're the Four Horsemen. Guess what else? 
 
 Ethan: What? 
 
 Kylie: You got the white horse and I got the black horse.... This is so exciting! Also, the gates of hell are opening in six weeks. Do n't ask me how I know, I just do somehow. 
 
 As we rode through the gates of hell, a smiling Lucifer bid us farewell. `` See you in six weeks, motherfuckers'' he waived to us as we made our exit. I guess I need to make a decision, I'm either going to join Mike and Ava in destroying the planet, or I can try to stop them, either way I'll get the chance to punch Luci in his obnoxious face. Man, I was really looking forward to slaying some model pussy... 
 
 

