[ wp ] after dying god informs you that hell is a myth , and `` everyone sins , its ok '' . instead the dead are sorted into six `` houses of heaven '' based on the sins they chose .

You really do n't know the meaning of indescribable until you've seen Heaven. 
 It says something about writing, of course, that even after saying that I'm still going to try and describe it, but oh well. Basically, imagine hometown. 
 Not *your* hometown, but *the* hometown, the hometowns of everyone who ever existed and some who never did, mixed together and overlaid in a way that communicates, somehow, the ultimate peace and happiness and belonging for everyone who lays eyes on it. Imagine, too, a big city, exciting and confusing and yet full of friendly faces and happy sounds, from practically every century since the invention of centuries, and overlaid with a field of grass, peaceful and happy, blending perfectly with every *other* pastoral image already presented, so that they all seem like the *same damn place. * 
 Not easy to imagine, huh? I told you. And heaven itself is nothing next to God, who for the dual purposes of keeping the surprise alive and not spending all day with conflicting descriptive features I'm just going to describe as ineffable. 
 
 Something I *can* describe is what floats over Heaven, and caught my eye as soon as I set foot in the gates: six sigils, painted in vivid colors, each signifying, as I later learned, a House. 
 
 `` What are those for?'' I asked the ineffable figure which had approached me moments after St. Peter waved me through two massive shining white gates. `` Sigils.'' said God. `` They represent different houses.'' Sensing my confusion ( or rather, already knowing I'd be confused ) God smiled benevolently. `` You see, young fellow, I decided that Hell was a bit of a bad idea. Sin is almost unavoidable within my divine creation -- so why punish it? The gates of Heaven, as you can see, are open to all --'' God motioned to the gates to punctuate his ( or her? ) point. `` -- and sin instead determines where in the afterlife you belong!'' God smiled benevolently, again. `` So, my dear boy, let's see where you belong, shall we? Go on, look at that sigil there -- yes, that one...'' My eyes were drawn to a brilliant gold sigil in the shape of a coin. I stared at it, transfixed, and suddenly found myself standing in an enormous room filled with gold, marble pillars stretching to a ceiling far out of reach. All around me, people were running around, grabbing fistfuls of gold, sledding down huge piles of it, swimming it -- the whole nine yards. 
 
 I turned to God. `` So is this it?'' God motioned for me to follow him, and walked towards the side of the room. As we got closer, I noticed a door becoming more and more apparent, and next to it, a red-skinned man sitting at a desk. As he noticed God approaching, he shot to attention and began to speak. `` Ah, sir, hello! Here with a new arrival, I see! Good, good! Ah, hold on a moment, sir, please --'' he turned to a young woman slowly approaching the desk. `` Ready to leave?' he asked her. She nodded. `` Well then! Go on and cash in!'' the demon ( I assumed at this point that he was ) said. The woman nodded again, and held out her hand to the demon. He reached into her palm and pulled, and suddenly a pile of gold appeared on his desk, entirely obscuring it from view and burying the demon up to his waist. Unfazed, he pulled his arm out, holding a suitcase that he had n't had before. He offered it to her, and along with it a receipt. `` It's all there, ma'am -- the USD equivalent of your collection.'' The woman eagerly grabbed the suitcase and ran out the door. God motioned me to follow. 
 
 As the woman ran, buildings seemed to grow out of the floor around her. Banks, casinos, investment agencies, car dealerships, auction houses -- if one could make or spend money in it, it was there. We lost the woman as a crowd appeared around her, all running in and out of various buildings with a mad fervor. I just stood there for a while, taking it all in. Finally, God spoke up. `` All right, young man, you've seen the new arrivals. Let's take a look at some of those who've spent longer here, shall we?'' Suddenly, my surroundings disappeared. We were standing in a street flanked by rows of mansions, each with sports cars parked in the driveways. As we watched, a man pulled up to a mansion, speaking rapidly into a cell phone about some sort of financial deal. As he walked into the house, he hung up, and closed the door with a slightly worried look on his face. Then the scene changed yet again. God leaned over and whispered, `` This one's been here a few centuries. I think he's about done...'' A man appearing to be in his 30s sat in a plush armchair next to a roaring fire. Along the walls hung dozens of paintings -- paintings like *The Starry Night* and the *Mona Lisa. * The man was talking aloud to himself, either unaware we were there or not caring. `` What's the point?'' he asked. `` I have so much, but what's the point?'' 
 
 I found myself back where I'd been after entering Heaven. God looked at me carefully, and asked `` Do you see the point?'' I nodded. `` So the Houses are like... sin therapy?'' God laughed. `` What a wonderful way to put it! Yes, indeed. I came to the conclusion that if my way was truly right, people would doubtless end up following it given eternity to consider.'' He smiled ( benevolently, of course. I was beginning to wonder if he know any other way of smiling. ) and nodded self-satisfiedly. `` So, which house would you like to visit next?'' I looked up at the sky, and focused on on another sigil... 
 
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 Wrath was an odd one, that I think I need only describe as *very* anime. Not the right fit for me. Sloth was peaceful, but boring. 
 
 Gluttony, on the other hand, was *very* tempting. None of the people I saw appeared to have gained weight from years of heavenly delights, and the food looked so very good... But I tore myself away, and continued on. As we walked through the Houses, God explained bits and pieces of divine history to me. The return of such fallen angels as Mammon, Asmodeus, and Beelzebub ( the management of the Houses ) as well as their subordinate demons, who staffed the Houses. This helped pass the time while we looked through Envy, which was quite similar to Greed. 
 
 As we entered the final House, the scenery changed again, leaving me standing in a pool. I blinked. Blinked again. Licked my lips. Blinked. Coughed. Swallowed. Blushed a little. `` Um,'' I said. `` Um.'' I rather definitively finished. 
 
 Two people were in the pool doing things that would make a seraph blush -- I speak with authority, as there was one nearby trying to not look at any of the rather debauched acts around it, which was frankly impossible. The amount of human flesh on display was shocking, and I was very tempted to stay in that house. But as I stood there ogling, a thought occurred to me. 
 
 God returned us to Heaven proper, waited for me to absorb what I'd just seen, and then asked if I was ready to make a decision. I thought for a little while, and then asked `` So where's Pride?'' 
 
 The benevolent smile dropped off of God's face. 
 
 We stood in a barren hall. The lights were off, and I could barely see in the gloom. Then as my eyes adjusted I caught sight of a throne at the end of the room, beautifully carved. It was covered in engravings of cherubim and seraphim, and the entire lower half was masterfully wrought from solid gold. On each armrest was carved an ornate L. I looked over at God. Then I looked at the wall past him. A portrait hung there of a man with striking blue eyes, curls of blonde hair, and an infectious grin. Behind him rose two white wings, and embroidered over his heart was the same ornate L. I stood there in silence. God, at last, spoke. `` I told him he was welcome to come back,'' God said with just the hint of a rasp, `` but he never did. Not yet.'' I nodded, and stood in the hall just a little longer. `` I'll give you some time to decide,'' said God, `` just call when you've made up your mind.'' I stood in the hall, and thought. 
 
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 Thanks for reading! IF you enjoyed it, leave a comment! If you did n't, leave one anyway so I can improve! See you on the next prompt!
