[ wp ] You stumble upon a genie in a bottle , instead of granting three wishes he gives you three choices . End world hunger , stop all current and future wars or find out what 's in the box .

**'' What's in the box?'' For some people, there's only one answer to that question. ** 
 
 
 Possibly the worst part of this entire fiasco is that the genie looks like Wayne Brady. He sounds like Wayne Brady. Listen, I like Wayne Brady as much as the next person - he was great on [ Whose Line Is It Anyway? ] ( http: //www.imdb.com/title/tt0163507/? ref_=fn_al_tt_1 ) - but I can only stand so much of him being all chipper game-show-hosty and offering to [ `` make a deal'' ] ( http: //www.imdb.com/title/tt1536749/? ref_=fn_al_tt_1 ) with me. 
 
 I knew I should have stayed away from that flea market. It's not like I need any knick-knacks. I avoid tchotchkes. But that little brass lamp just kind of... called to me. I do n't know why. It was so... shiny. But hey, 5 bucks is a steal, right? 
 
 Right? 
 
 Now I'm starting to think that it was n't chance that led me to buy that lamp. 
 
 `` I thought I got three wishes. What kind of half-assed genie are you?'' I ask. 
 
 The genie's grin gets impossibly wider. His teeth are so white they're almost literally blinding. `` Listen, sometimes you do n't get wishes - you get choices. These are the choices: no more hunger, no more wars, or you trade everything for what's in the box. So - what's your choice? Hunger? War? Or box?'' 
 
 I've seen enough episodes of [ The Twilight Zone ] ( http: //www.imdb.com/title/tt0734658/ ) and [ Tales from the Darkside ] ( http: //www.imdb.com/title/tt0716936/ ) to know that there has to be some kind of catch. Was n't there an episode of [ The X-files ] ( http: //www.imdb.com/title/tt0751145/ ) like this? 
 
 `` So what's in the box?'' I ask. 
 
 `` It would n't be any fun if I just told you what was in the box. Live a little! Make a deal! Take a chance! Make a choice!'' The Wayne Brady genie is starting to sound a bit menacing. Also kind of tuneful. Is he singing? Is my life going to turn into that musical episode of [ Buffy the Vampire Slayer ] ( http: //www.imdb.com/title/tt0533466/ )? 
 
 `` Well, can I at least see the box?'' I'm starting to lose my patience. What kind of bullshit choices are these? `` How big is it?'' 
 
 The genie's grin stretches even wider, reminding me of Heath Ledger in [ The Dark Knight ] ( http: //www.imdb.com/title/tt0468569/? ref_=nv_sr_1 ). A cardboard box, about the size of a carton of printer paper, appears out of thin air in his hands. The lid is folded shut, but not taped. `` Your deepest desire might be in this box... or it might not,'' purrs the genie. `` But you'll never know unless you open it.'' 
 
 Is this box going to be like the car in [ Repo Man ] ( http: //www.imdb.com/title/tt0087995/? ref_=fn_al_tt_1 )? Or that actual box in that movie with [ Cameron Diaz and Frank Langella ] ( http: //www.imdb.com/title/tt0362478/ )? 
 
 Wait a minute, I think. I'm missing something here. I'm being stupid. I do know what's in the box. 
 
 `` [ Schrodinger ] ( https: //en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr % C3 % B6dinger % 27s_cat )!'' I call. `` Treat time, Schrodinger!'' 
 
 The box quivers, the flaps of the lid burst apart, and my cat jumps out and into my arms. He glares at the genie, and in a little raspy voice, says, `` I told you she'd know it was me. Now you have to grant all my wishes. No more of this'choice' crap.'' 
 
 I smile at the genie and scritch Schrodinger's chin. Who wants to end world hunger or all wars? This is going to be so much more fun.
