[ WP ] Every sentient species in the universe receives a Jesus figure from God . It turns out humanity was the only species to torture and crucify him . You 're an ambassador priest informing the Inter-Galactic Holy Church what your species did .

Father Sanchez adjusted his turquoise robes, sighed, and started his defense. 
 
 `` Look, Your Cosmic Eminence, I do n't really think this is our fault.'' 
 
 `` Hold on, stop right there.'' the pulsing orb of electricity said through the translator. `` Are you actually trying to justify your actions.'' 
 
 `` Well, yes, Your CE. There are mitigating circumstances here.'' 
 
 The Anointed started to move towards Sanchez, but an untranslated voltage change from the CE stopped them. 
 
 `` Present your'mitigating' circumstances.'' 
 
 `` Right, yes.'' Sanchez continued, now eyeing the 10 foot reptilian Anointed with anxiety. 
 
 `` You see, He wanted us to do it.'' 
 
 The CE immediately felt a twinge of despondency. It knew where this was going, and so did everyone else in the Shimmering Gallery, but it let Sanchez continue. 
 
 `` Our Lord, Jesus Christ, made it clear at several points that He was expecting to be sacrificed. You have a copy of our Holy Book? Have you read it yet?'' 
 
 `` That's evidence that will be reviewed after testimony.'' the CE replied. 
 
 `` Alright, well, if you read it, He made the following statement, among others,'The Son of Man is going to be betrayed into the hands of men. They will kill him, and after three days he will rise.''' 
 
 `` Oh dear, He had started referring to himself as a man?'' the CE probed. 
 
 `` Yes, Your Cosmic Eminence. That's kind of a big part of our understanding of Him, as limited as it obviously was. Anyway, not only did he predict his own crucifixion, he took active steps to ensure it would happen. He prevented his own disciples from stopping it. He seemed to be seeking it out at the end. We were under the impression that it was a necessary sacrifice to make for our redemption.'' 
 
 `` But you also stated in the preliminary hearing that you believe He is both the Son of God and God himself, correct?'' the CE interjected. 
 
 `` Yes, Your Cosmic Eminence. That was our understanding.'' 
 
 `` You do n't think it's a little bit counter-intuitive that a supreme being would have to sacrifice Itself to Itself in order to provide salvation? 
 
 Various noises came from the Shimmering Gallery. Father Sanchez' translator said they were laughter. He smiled uneasily, attempting and failing to intimate that he understood the joke. 
 
 `` There were people who suggested that did n't make sense.'' 
 
 `` Why were n't they listened to?'' 
 
 Sanchez blinked twice. `` Um... for most of our history... we... uh... we killed those people.'' 
 
 The CE rippled with current. 
 
 `` You humans sure have a thing for taking lives that do n't belong to you.'' 
 
 `` Yes, Your Cosmic Eminence, but I think we are getting better...'' 
 
 `` Alright. That's enough. Your mitigating circumstances are accepted on the contingency that study of your Holy Book confirms your statements here. This hearing is adjourned.'' 
 
 Father Sanchez let out a sigh of deep relief. As the various strange and sometimes unfathomable beings filed out of the Shimmering Gallery, several of them stopped to express their regret about his situation. 
 
 The CE traveled through a conduit to it's private chambers. Once there, it reviewed the copy of the Bible that had been provided to it, and then made the necessary oblations and rituals to contact the Supremacy. 
 
 `` This is the office of the Supremacy,'' Frppt, It's secretary, answered. `` It's in a planning meeting for a new dimension, may I take a message?'' 
 
 `` Yes, this is the Cosmic Eminence from the Fourth Iteration. Would you please tell It that we've reviewed the humans' case, and it looks like we have another insane Messiah situation on our hands. This one WANTED them to kill Him. We have absolved the humans, but we humbly request that you take a look at your Quality Assurance procedures. This is the ninth one we've encountered this millennium.''
