[ WP ] The end of the world has arrived , and it 's nothing like we ever anticipated .

The end of the world was altogether unremarkable. Those poor souls, like myself, who work in stuffy office buildings pray for an eventful apocalypse, if for no other reason than to break up the monotony of the daily status meeting, followed by the status meetings status meeting, wrapped up later in the status of status meeting status meeting meeting, directly followed by lunch. 
 
 Today, however, we were halfway through a lecture on how well a project was going by a manager who was inexpert on the subject when all sound ceased. An elephant could trumpet next to your ear without startling you, unless you turned your head and noticed it, upon which you would indeed be startled as an elephant in an office building is as foreign as efficient leadership or completed deadlines. The lack of sound drastically improved the meeting, though the improvement was quickly nullified by the adoption of frantic note-writing to communicate, a skill that had laid dormant in most of us since elementary school and teachers had necessitated the art form. 
 
 As notes were churned out faster than a central bank with poor fiscal policy, sound returned with the vengeance of an unpaid loan shark, if instead of breaking kneecaps with a lead pipe he preferred the vuvuzela and an amplifier powerful enough to be outlawed by common decency and military limitation treaties. Immediately my head felt as if it had been a tree, chopped to the ground, mashed into pulp, printed and bound into a novella, then burned for the amusement of a group of Fascists. That's about the time the weasels started flying. 
 
 In the sky sat a large oblong pyramid, deftly telling the law of gravity to shove it, as thousands of weasels, outfitted with goggles and aviator scarves, naturally, flew through the air towards it. All along the outer edge of the pyramid stood an ever growing number of weasels, most having removed their aviation gear upon landing. Standing, gaping, I said the only thing that came to mind at a time like this. 
 
 `` I think the third quarter projections might be a little off now.''
