[ WP ] The people of New York have gotten used to the constant Alien invasions , monster attacks and other supernatural disasters . You 're a New Yorker narrating a normal day .

Ranmond's Hall was closed for the day. The sign at the edge of the block informed us there had been a UFO that crashlanded there during the night. Currently an Alien squad was busy cleaning out the last living ones. A range of gunfire could be heard from where I was standing. I hope Tony has enough spare chairs to open today; I do not want to go home without one of his fruit drinks. Poor Tony, he has been his three times this year already. Luckily he is well-insured against the risk. 
 
 Unwilling to wait around in the snow, I move on, making sure to keep clear of the sidewalk. I check my speed-dial phone and automated laser turret. My dad always preferred the personal side-arm, but there are better ways of keeping a monster off you in daylight. The CI-134 is the newest, portable edition of the personal protection shield and laser combo. My girlfriend got it for my birthday. All the way from Europe. At least there the government spends money into preventing personal tragedy. Our government does n't do shit about it. They just arm people with guns and hope for the best. I do still carry a nine-mil on me of course. Just in case. 
 
 By the time I reach the office, I realize again why I usually avoid rush hour. Nothing attracts a hydra like a cluster of sweaty, steaming humans. Luckily someone in the crowd saw it before me. A short Japanese guy. He did n't even use a gun! He just drew some kind of ancient sword and hacked it to pieces. I gave him cover, of course. I would not want the police to fine me for refusing to help a citizen in need. Yet the sight of green blood squirting from decapirated hydra necks makes me less than hungry during lunch. 
 
 Luckily the office manager, John, has already cleared most of the alien bodies by the time I arrive. We have a nest of them somewhere in the basement, but none of the cleaning crews we hired has managed to achieve success in eradicating them. They are very good at destroying rats, which is a bonus. Yet these blue-blooded Martians make me weary. It almost makes it feel like we do no longer live in a civilized world, but in a world under siege. 
 
 Sitting down, I grab the microphone and check in with John for the news items coming up. After a brief pre-show walkthrough, I start up the machines. 
 
 `` Good morning, New York,'' I call out. `` It is a wonderful sunny day. Meteo predicts that there is a chance for a shower in the late afternoon, so do not forget your umbrella to work. Today in the Morning Show, we will be taking a closer look at Pixies. Can their dust be used to cure liver disease. We talk to Patrick O'Neil, who says they do. But first: Underage drinking - problem or solution?'' 
 
 I grin as I see the lights of my screen begin to light up. Even this early people are always willing to give me some imput. 
 `` We have a caller on the line first,'' I say. 
 
 `` Yes. Am I on?'' a female voice asks. `` Oh, great. My name is Laura and I have a little tip for all you lonely house-daddies out there. If your wife comes back from work with blood-stains on her coat, use a little dragon saliva on it. It will clean off even the nastiest of Alien blood. Just put a lick on, wait for three minutes and rinse well with water.'' 
 
 `` Well, Laura,'' I say. `` Thank you for that tip. You never know when an alien creature gets close enough for Splatter damage!'' 
 
 My co-host Travis has also entered, combing something from his hair that looks a lot like fungus. `` Well, Pete, that is why I always use a small caliber bullet on the buggers. Less splash, more cash.'' 
 
 `` Now we are going to put on a little classic for you all. Our all time favourite morning song:'Happy' from'Farrell Williams'.'' 
 
 `` And you know that he is still alive. Over one hundred and fifty years old, of course, but still alive and kicking,'' Travis says while I load up the song. `` And he is still writing songs.'' 
 
 I start up the song just in time before the sky darkens overhead. A large floating disk, standard UFO, hovers slowly overhead and starts to release its fighters. I flick on the light and close the window shutters. I have seen enough for today.
