[ WP ] The US announces that marijuana will be legalized nation-wide when Half Life 3 is released . This puts Valve under a lot of pressure .

The air was crisp, the blackened room illuminated with blue by a single computer monitor. The only audible sounds were the soft hum of the computer fan and the crunching of Cool Ranch Doritos™, with the soft pattering of footsteps growing in the distance. Light poured into the room followed by the face of a young man. `` Mr. Newell, Sir, a new wave of protesters are outside again, and we've received word from multiple departments about hackers stealing more information. What should we do?'' A single Dorito fell to the floor. Mr. Newell scooted his chair from his desk to the window on the other side of the room, leaning hard against the glass with his forearm as he surveyed his kingdom. 
 
 `` This... Can be fixed'' He gasped out. `` We need to.... To hold *Cough* them off..'' His voice trailed as he rolls his chair back through the sea of Mountain Dew cans to a filing cabinet, `` Until the game is... Ready'' He opens the cabinet to pull out a family size bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™. `` Get me more Hot Pockets'' Newell moaned. 
 
 `` Sir please, we need to do something quick. I can have an intern fetch you more Hot Pockets soon but we need to have a plan first!'' 
 Newell frowns, `` Oh yeah I forgot... Heh... Uh yeah I know what to do about this. Yeah, we need... A sale!'' 
 
 `` Mr. Newell, the Steam Summer Sale ended a week ago, we ca n't have another sale!'' Newell removed his glasses, accidentally snapping one of the hinges in the process. He squinted hard and sighed a deep sigh. 
 
 `` 90 % off everything. Do it.'' 
 
 `` Sir there's no way I can do that-'' 
 
 `` Don't.. Make me tell you twice Mark!'' 
 
 `` No, we ca n't do it!'' Said the lanky man at the doorway, flipping on the light switch causing Mr. Newell to recoil in pain. `` I know that there was a secret development team that was scheduled to have Half Life 3 completed a year ago! We both know it's here, and only **you** can end this. If not for the sake of your company, or employees, release the damn game for the people out there!'' 
 
 Mr. Newell had a blank expression. 
 
 `` I'm sorry sir, I was out of line I-'' 
 
 `` I want you to make... An announcement Mark'' Marks ears perked up with excitement. 
 
 `` Yes sir, I'd be thrilled. What would you like for me to send to PR?'' 
 
 `` Tell... Them that uh... In two months we...'' A smile creeps upon his face `` Will be releasing Left 4 Dead 3.'' In complete shock, he shakes his head slightly, than realizes the futility in further protest. `` Yes sir.'' 
 
 `` Good... Good... heh'' Newell chuckled as he returns to his computer. He was just wrapping up a new trolling meme he had been working on, and the timing was impeccable. He paused briefly to open a folder titled `` Last_Will''. His Dorito covered fingers left a cool ranch trail on the screen where he dragged them, before turning away in pain. His eyes tear up, and he shuts down his computer. 
 
 

