[ WP ] A crazed neurosurgeon who decides to commit suicide by dissecting their own brain

This is my suicide note. 
 
 As a bit of warning for the night janitor who will inevitably be able to unlock the door, this memorandum may become a bit incoherent as I reach the advanced stages of this process. Since you, being the night janitor, can not possibly be learned enough in surgical procedures and the finer points of neurosurgery, I will give here the explanation the aftermath will not provide: 
 
 As you, the night janitor, may know, being well versed in hospital gossip from your many rounds in the employee lounge areas, I am rather well-known as one of the most renowned brain surgeons this country –no, this world- has to offer. My skills, if I may be so bold, are unparalleled in the dissection, functional understanding, and manipulation of the human brain. However, it has begun to become clear to me that if I am to reach the next stage of understanding, there is only one mind, sub Einstein, that might offer further insight if put under my scalpel and macrocamera. 
 
 It is poetic, no? Here I am, with a BAC of, I think, point-four by now. All the doors are locked. I am in the operating theatre, and with me I have my tools. It is three a.m., and shortly my mind, which holds a comprehensive guide to the most advanced neurosurgery modern medicine has to offer, will be put under the knife- so to speak. And I will record my findings here. 
 
 Make no mistake- I am aware that I will not survive this process. However, it is my hope that this letter will become a compendium of my findings for my peers and successors to use to further the advancement of our understanding of ourselves ( “ ourselves ” being the processes of our minds ). 
 
 And now, night janitor, I begin the experiment. 
 
 Minute Zero- Patient ’ s head is properly shaved and marked. Will begin breaching of the skull area shortly. All saws and drills are properly prepared. 
 
 Minute Six- It is amazing what alcohol can do. Currently I feel very little pain, though the bones in my forehead have been completely sliced through in a multitude of areas. 
 
 Minute Fifteen- Skull area has been properly breached and removed. Will begin analysis of surface-nerve response. 
 
 minutte si xtene- mmy finger s are tignly 
 
 Minute Nineteen- I have found the area of my temporal lobe which, when stimulated, produces intense sexual pleasure. Will explore later. 
 
 Minute Thirty Six- Have returned to scheduled procedure after brief “ me time. ” Will now attempt to remove a portion of the hippocampus. Preferably the part which includes my ex wife. To the night janitor, for whom I am still incredibly sorry, I hope this attempt at brevity will lighten whatever mood you are currently in. 
 
 Minute AFLFDKL; NVNVSNS; - It appears as if I have accidentally damaged the portion of my caudate which perceives the flow of time. Timing markers from this point forwards may be inaccurate or unintelligible. 
 
 Minut KLL; J; JIJOCLJJ- Hiocamus has bn brached. I aar to hav lost knowldg of crtain lttrs of th alhabt. Fascinating. 
 
 Minut IJCJNVKJOIJOSF3- I hav succssfully rmovd a ortion of th hiocamus. It may b found on th xamination tray for furthr study. 
 
 Minut FKDFKKLDFDJKLFDFJKLDFKLDFKLJDFKL- Will now attmt to comltly rmov ostrior cingulat. With any luck, I should los all sns of morality. 
 
 Minut 29893LDKDKKKKK- Hav lost moral comass. Fl no diffrnt. This rocss, howvr, has bcom far mor amusing. An intrsting sid ffct. 
 
 Minut JFDJDFJDSKLKLJKJKI- Fuck you night janitor. 
 
 Minut?????? - SOMTHING HAS GON WRONG 
 
 MINUT????? - HIT WRONG ORTION 
 
 cnvbcnsyyee,,,,,,,,,,,,, 
. 
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