[ WP ] `` The elevator had an extra button , but instead of a number , it was only labeled with a question mark . ''

`` What is that?'' I asked, pointing at the set of buttons arranged neatly in the wood paneled elevator. 
 
 `` What's what, sir?'' The elevator operator sighed, scratching his nose. 
 
 `` That. The elevator button. With the question mark.'' I pointed. 
 
 The elevator operator leaned in and adjusted his glasses. He squinted. His back straightened. `` Well sir, it looks to be an elevator button with a question mark on it.'' 
 
 I grit my teeth. `` Yes. I can see that. That is literally what it is. What I'm asking, is where does the elevator go when you push the button?'' 
 
 `` Well sir, if you wanted to know that you should've asked it. The elevator button, if pressed, leads you somewhere.'' 
 
 I pinched my nose. `` For the love of- *Where exactly does this elevator go if you press that button? *'' 
 
 `` Exactly sir? Well, if we know the rotational velocity of the universe, extrapolating from the 14 billion year lag due to lightspeed, we can thusly report it is in Sector 4.9x10^8 X37.pie. To narrow that down, we must now analyze the formation-pattern of the stars in the local cluster, and further condense that to analytical vector coordinates in 4 dimensions. Barring any disturbance from the Brown Holes, we can thusly conclude the precise location is Sub-Sub-Sub-Sector 4DDduxi09224, also known as-'' 
 
 `` Oh fuck this!'' I shout, pressing the button. A single second later we are engulfed in massive flames and my flesh begins to melt off. The elevator box explodes, and I run around screaming. Above me, a massive, 3-headed bat monster glared down at me. 
 
 I am skewered by a trident, wreathed in flames and some sort of tarry, black dust. I am swung around by a demonic being wielding the trident, and I land next to the elevator operator. His heart is being eaten by snake babies. 
 
 ***'' THE PRECISE LOCATION IS SUB-SUB-SUB-SECTOR 4DDduxi09224, ALSO KNOWN AS HELL. `` *** The operator screams. 
 
 Then I scream.
