[ WP ] Write the most elaborate , over-dramatic , and exciting story you can think of that all just turns out to be a set-up for a pun so horrible I 'll want to punch you

I wo n't tell you his name, but suffice it to say that my father was one of the greatest Iraqi formula 1 drivers. I grew up attending all of his races, sometimes even accompanying him to the winners stage where I would jump up and down, watching him douse the ecstatic crowd of supporters with champaign. I always wanted to be just like my dad. 
 
 When I was 11, my father was competing in a national race, when one of his tires blew out. The car fishtailed, flipping around 180 degrees, and it slowed enough to collide head-on with another racer. My father was killed instantly. After that day, my mother made me promise I would never be a race car driver, as she could n't bear to lose another of her dearest family members. I promised, knowing it was for the best. 
 
 Without my father, life in Iraq got progressively tougher, as the government began to crack down. I excelled in math and science at school, earning one of the top spots in my grade. My mother was so proud, but she knew we could not stay in Iraq any longer. One night, she woke me at 2 in the morning, told me to gather what was absolutely essential, and follow her outside. There, in the pale moonlight, was a swarthy man smoking a cigarette, a smuggler! I knew he was there to get us out of the country. 
 
 The beginning of the journey was uneventful; huddled in the back of his van, we watched the minutes creep past as we inched closer to the border. About 2 miles out, the night was shattered by sirens. `` The police!'' the smuggler yelled. `` They've found us!'' Glancing in the back seat, his eyes widened as he recognized my face for the first time, so very much like that of my father. Sliding over on the seat, he grabbed me by my shirt and shoved me behind the wheel. 
 
 `` Drive! Drive now!'' 
 
 `` I ca n't!'' I screamed. `` I made a promise never to do this!'' My mother watched with terrified eyes as I froze, wracked by indecision. If I did n't drive, we would never make it; if I did, I would be breaking my most sacred promise to my mother. I did n't know what to do. 
 
 I was stuck between Iraq and a car chase.
