[ WP ] Satan gathers up all the lesser demons and announces that they 're going to be adding another sin to the seven deadly sins and whoever comes up with it gets to be in charge of that department .

Lucifer dropped his head onto the fiery brimstone desk, massaging his temples with gnarled fingers. `` Come in!'' he barked softly. 
 
 A tiny red imp floated through the opaque wall of flames separating the office from the main receiving area of Hell. With the human population surge of the last few centuries, space had become a huge premium, forcing Lucifer to relocate to the tiny annex. 
 
 `` Hail Great One,'' crooned the imp, `` I beseech thy Dark Prince for...'' 
 
 Lucifer waved the imp to silence without looking up. `` Please, Moby, just get on with it. I have 120,000 new intakes today.'' 
 
 `` Oh, Moby is so saddened to hear that. But what of Dark Lord's servants?'' 
 
 Lucifer raised his head. `` The work ethic of the new help is just abysmal. They expect healthcare and meal breaks. I'm like,'You're dead and you do n't eat, what the Hell?''' 
 
 He sighed. `` This progressive human development is the *worst*, Moby. Billions of new souls to deal with, and most of them spoiled brats.'' 
 
 Moby twisted his legs and pivoted, staring down like a schoolboy in trouble. 
 
 `` Ah, Christ on a cracker. What is it, Moby?'' 
 
 The imp glanced up. `` Moby is so sorry, Dark Prince. A Heavenly Decree has just been received. It appears that God has been experiencing similar population issues, and He has ordered an Eighth Deadly Sin be enforced.'' 
 
 Lucifer's nostrils flared, and for a moment his despondence seemed to fade and he rose up in fury. `` What?! That holier-than-thou snake! Always passing the buck down to us!'' Momentarily, his shoulders slumped and he fell back into his chair. `` But what does it matter?'' he moaned. `` I'm bound by our eternal contract. Why did I sign that thing, anyway?'' 
 
 `` If the Dark Lord permits, Moby has an idea.'' Lucifer motioned him to continue. `` God has put no limits on *what* the sin can be, my Prince. So, if you were to...'' 
 
 Lucifer held up his hand, grinning ear to ear. `` Moby, you fiendishly brilliant fiend, remind me to double your torture-free days next month!'' The imp matched his grin as Lucifer activated the Hell-wide PA system. 
 
 *Attention, denizens. Attention. This is your Dark Prince and Overlord speaking. I have very exciting news! After 1500 years, we have a new addition to the Deadly Sin family. After careful consideration, I would like all of you to welcome,'Eating pre-1800 wooden clog heels for breakfast at least 3 times a week' to the list! We anticipate some very damned souls to be joining us for this one! Lucifer, out! * 
 
 `` I never know how to end those announcements. Listen, Moby, would you...'' 
 
 There was a light tap at the flames. `` Wait, how is that possible? That wall immolates any blackened soul that touches it and...'' 
 
 Another tap. 
 
 `` Come in?'' Lucifer intoned, motioning Moby aside. A small and slender grey-haired man stepped cautiously through the flames. He wore a red button-down sweater, black tie, and had the most genuine smile Lucifer had seen in his millennia of torturous existence. 
 
 `` Oh, my. It's an awfully hot day in this neighborhood,'' the man said with a nervous twitch. `` Hello, friends. Might I trouble you for some directions? I was just teaching a group of recently deceased missionaries about the importance of honesty, when I found myself here!'' 
 
 Lucifer stared incredulously. `` You're Mr. Rogers!'' he exclaimed. `` You've been in Heaven for years! How did you... oh, shoot.'' 
 
 Fred Rogers' eyes twinkled and a sage, knowing look spread across his face. `` Oh, yes. The Heavenly Decree. We heard it up there, too.'' He smiled even wider. `` No hard feelings, friend. Hey, you seem a bit overwhelmed. Perhaps I can help you with a bit of your workload. We are neighbors now, after all.''
