[ WP ] Humans have evolved to lay eggs instead of live birthing , and you have been tasked with protecting the largest incubation facility in the world from the heist of the century .

“ Easter eggs, chocolate eggs, eggs of green and brown, guarding all these lovely eggs, I ’ m marching up and down, OH, pink eggs, blue eggs… ” 
 
 “ SHUT UP! If you sing one more verse of that stupid song I am going to ram some eggs where eggs don ’ t hatch! ” 
 
 “ Oohh touchy today are we? ” 
 
 “ Were you even in briefing yesterday? The world leaders ’ eggs are being delivered and we have to make sure no one snatches them. Egg laying might be easier than live births but one heist can wipe out a person ’ s future. Stop singing and concentrate on the monitors. Double check everything. Be alert, be prepared and don ’ t sing! ” 
 
 “ But music is supposed to be good for development. ” 
 
 “ Music is good for development, not that hideous squawk you make. ” 
 
 “ Snip, snip, snip, we have a music critic. Ouch. Maybe I should go find your eggs and sing to them, how would you like them apples? Hmmm? ” 
 
 “ You can stay right away from my eggs or you might find yours flushed down the toilet. ” 
 
 “ Hey don ’ t threaten my eggs like that. ” 
 
 “ Then don ’ t threaten to sing to my – hey who is that coming through security? ” 
 
 “ Isn ’ t that Zengo the famous music star? Oh my golden egg, I am such a fan. Is he due for a hatching? ” 
 
 “ Just checking, yep he is heading for the hatching pods of the incubation area. His son is due in an hour. It ’ s nice when they get here early. First contact is so vital to good bonding. ” 
 
 “ I remember my first hatching. ” 
 
 “ You have more than one? How did you achieve that? ” 
 
 “ Na, I meant here, being at a hatching is awesome. Seeing the silly look on new parent ’ s faces, listening to that first gurgle from the baby. I haven ’ t got a hatchling yet. I am just writing songs to sing them when they finally happen. ” 
 
 “ Poor kids. ” 
 
 “ Hmmph. Hey is that the armoured vehicle coming up the main drive? ” 
 
 “ Must be, with a stack of escorts. Looks like a parade with all those flags and guns. Ready the entry port and let security know they are on their way in. ” 
 
 “ Portal security, this is monitoring, the official vehicles are heading in your direction. The chickens are home to roost. Prepare for entry. ” 
 
 “ Really? Chickens home to roost? Security is going to be in fits. ” 
 
 “ Where did Zengo go? He should have arrived at hatching by now. Is he on your screens? ” 
 
 “ Zen-go-go, ha! Zen-go-go, I like it. Sounds like a new dance. I ’ ll cash in on that my friends. ” 
 
 “ Zengo? Why are you-? What are you-? No, you need to be at your son ’ s hatching. ” 
 
 “ No son of mine will hatch from a machine. Zengo, the real Zengo, will have to miss the moment. Now kindly move away from the screens and get down on the floor and I promise neither of you will be hurt. Touch any buttons and I will be very unhappy. ” 
 
 “ A rebirther? Shit. Some poor woman is being forced to go through the pain of birthing a kid for you? ” 
 
 “ That ’ s right, she is doing her duty and bearing the pain for the sins of womanhood. She will bring my son into the world under pressure and on a pool of blood. That is how it should be. Natural and proper. Now put your hands behind your head and lie face down on the floor well away from your stations. ” 
 
 “ F ’ n nut job. Argh, hey you said you wouldn ’ t hurt us. ” 
 
 “ You touched a button in my soul. No noise now, while I make a call. It is time to rid the world of places like this. ” 
 
 “ Fletch, sing your egg song. ” 
 
 “ What? ” 
 
 “ Your egg song, sing it, sing it loud, sing it now. ” 
 
 “ CHOCOLATE EGGS, SPECKLED EGGS, EGGS OF GREEN AND BROWN, GUARDING ALL THE LOVELY EGGS NEVER GETS ME DOWN, OH LONG EGGS, STRONG EGGS, EGGS FOR YOU AND ME, CHECKING ALL THE EGGS AROUND FILLS ME WITH GREAT GLEE OH, PINK EGGS PURPLE EGGS, what are you doing? ” 
 
 “ Just keep singing, louder. I have a plan. ” 
 
 “ UGLY EGGS DON ’ T EXIST, NOT FOR YOU AND ME, PRETTY EGGS ARE ALL YOU GET IN OUR FAMILY TREE OH… ” 
 
 “ What are you doing? Shut up, I can ’ t hear my call. ” 
 
 “ Sing Fletch sing. Really loud! ” 
 
 “ TWELVE EGGS IN-A-DOZEN, THE THIRTEENTH ONE FOR FREE, EGGS ARE EASIER TO LAY THAN BIRTHING USED TO BE OHHH, YELLOW EGGS, GOLDEN EGGS, FILLED SO TENDERLY, RIPENING TO HATCHLINGS TO LIVE WITH YOU AND ME OHHHH… ” 
 
 “ SHUT UP! ” 
 
 “ Who me? I am just singing. No one appreciates good music these days. ” 
 
 “ THAT is not good music. ” 
 
 “ Yeah, that ’ s what Pin says. Pin? Pin? Where ’ d she go? ” 
 
 “ Nobody threatens my eggs and gets away with it! Take that! ” 
 
 “ Arrrgh! ” 
 
 “ Arrrgh? Good aim Pin, I never thought you could even lift one of those. Remind me not to get on your bad side. I ’ ll tie him up with – um- with? This place is pretty sterile when you come to think of it. ” 
 
 “ Take your shirt off Fletch. Tie him up with that. ” 
 
 “ Sure Pin, you just want to see me with my shirt off. ” 
 
 “ Shut up Fletch, just tie him up before he regains consciousness. I ’ ll check with security and make sure his cronies haven ’ t turned up. ” 
 
 “ Monitoring, this is Portal security. The chickens are in the run, repeat the chickens are in the run. ” 
 
 “ Portal security, this is monitoring. Rebirthing alert. Please send a team to remove threat. Immediate threat neutralized, repeat threat neutralised. Inform authorities of possible insurgent activity. Hatching 74850. Son of Zengo, hatching imminent. Parent Missing. ” 
 
 “ On it, monitoring. A team is on the way. ” 
 
 “ Pin, I ’ ve been meaning to ask you… ” 
 
 “ Yes Fletch? ” 
 
 “ Would you like to hatch an egg together? ” 
 
 “ Really? That ’ s cracking the egg before the water boils. You can take me out on a date first and I ’ ll think about it, but no singing. Singing is a deal breaker. ” 
 
 “ But I know this really great Karaoke bar. ” 
 
 “ Fletch! ” 
 
 
 
 

