[ OT ] Sunday Free Write : Leave A Story , Leave A Comment - Another Call for Moderators Edition

This is a story I wrote on a game site I used to frequent, and it's the first story that I've written on my own. The original host site can be found [ here ] ( http: //www.gameinformer.com/blogs/members/b/sora3ben_blog/archive/2015/02/28/the-vacation-of-a-lifetime-episode-1-story.aspx ), and the prequel, which was not written by me, but another person, can be found [ here ] ( http: //www.gameinformer.com/blogs/members/b/dryminator_blog/archive/2012/06/25/game-9-ben-goes-on-a-holiday.aspx ). I'm just looking to get some constructive criticism about my writing skills. I'm hoping to continue this sometime soon. 
 
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 **The Vacation of a Lifetime** 
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 The forceful shout knocks Harbinger backwards and pushes Ben back towards the mountain, knocking him, once again, unconscious. The laser that Harbinger had been charging, now off course, fires off to a different part of the Ringworld. Where the laser went, the Ringworld was split. Tremors shook throughout the entire Ringworld as the rest of the Ringworld broke into multiple segments. 
 
 When Ben came to, he was in nice, comfortable room, reminiscent of the Mass Effect rooms. “ At least I didn ’ t get too far from Mass Effect, ” he thought. As he got out of his bed, Commander Shepard entered the room. “ Glad to see you up. You were unconscious for quite a while, ” he said. “ The council is once again requesting your presence, and from the sound of it, it seems quite urgent. ” “ Well, it looks like I ’ ll be on my way. Care to show me where the council chambers are? ” Ben asked. “ Of course, right this way, ” replied Shepard. 
 
 The meeting started as soon as Ben entered the room. “ Do you know what you have done? ” asked the Turian council member. “ Um, yeah, I ’ m pretty sure I just saved the Ringworld from the Reapers, ” Ben responded. “ Yes, you might have, but do you know at what cost? ” the Asari councilwoman probed. “ No, I do not know what happened. Last thing I recall was being knocked back onto that mountain after dragon shouting at Harbinger. ” 
 
 “ Ringworld has been broken into bits. Only way to fix it is to go to the parts and join them back. The inner workings are what holds the Ringworld together and how different characters can travel to different game worlds, ” the Salarian councilor explained. “ Because it is now broken, everyone has been sent back to their world and can not remember. Only reason we can is because of the data stored here. We want you to fix the problem you created. ” “ You want me to go fix everything, I can do that. But how will I get to the other sections? ” asked Ben. The Asari councilor replied, “ Commander Shepard will be escorting you to the different parts of the Ringworld in the Normandy. He should be getting it prepped now. Just one thing, no one will believe that everything is connected until you get to the mainframe of each piece, which have been hidden well since we have had this problem before. ” 
 
 “ Thank you councilors. Is there anything else? ” Ben asked. The Turian member answered, “ Actually, yes. We had you scanned when you first arrived in our section, and we had read our tests wrong. While you are still Dovakhiin, we noticed something else. It turns out that you are more than just that, you are actually something we have not encountered before. ” “ Your tests were positive for every main character, ” chimed in the Asari councilwoman, “ You have the ability to use every main character ’ s skills, which I am sure you will use and become more powerful as you follow through with this journey. ” 
 
 With that, the meeting was adjourned and Ben walked over to the loading bay. He stopped and admired the sheer beauty and size of the Normandy SR2 as excitement washed over him all over again. As Ben approached the main entrance, Shepard greeted him once again. “ Glad to see you ’ ll be saving the worlds. I ’ ll be happy to serve under you. Come on in, I ’ ll show you around. ” 
 
 Once inside, they are greeted by Joker. “ Who ’ s this weird looking guy? ” asked Joker. “ This is Ben. He ’ s the one who ’ ll be leading the mission to rejoin the pieces of the Ringworld back together, ” answered Shepard. “ You mean the guy who blew it up in the first place? By the way, way to go genius. You totally blew my chances of getting together with that Alyx chick. I was totally hitting it off with her, when she just disappeared. ” “ Yeah, sorry about that, but you ’ d have no chance with her. She ’ s not one for the traditional romantic, ” Ben says. “ That ’ s what you think, ” Joker mumbles. 
 
 
 
 After getting settled in, Ben and Shepard head to the map. Shepard asked, “ So, where do we go first? ” Ben, getting that rush of excitement, points to a part not too far and says “ Let ’ s go there. ” “ The Mario section? Seems like a good enough start. Just set a marker for there and we ’ ll be on our way. ” And so, the Normandy takes off and flies to the land of Mario, where I ’ m sure there will be a lot of parties, incredible sports games, and plentiful princess stealing.
