[ WP ] Every time you die , you are transported to the time of the first event that ultimately caused your death . One day , you are hit by a car and sent 12 years into the past .

I ca n't take it anymore. 
 
 At first, this wish sounded like the most clever thing I'd ever come up with. I released that stupid genie from the lamp he was stuck in, made my wish, and I've been immortal ever since. In the beginning, it was fun, constantly finding hilarious ways to kill myself. Life almost became one big game of Grand Theft Auto. I'd rob and murder people, have grand old standoffs with the police, and zip right back to the beginning as soon as I lost. 
 
 Then I finally got tired of playing around and lived the rest of my life like a normal person. The problem is, it did n't stop there. When I finally got to the end of what was a very long, very satisfying life, I was immediately sent back to the day I first ate a strip of bacon. I guess that must have cut my life shorter by a minute or something? Who knows. 
 
 That too was a fun revelation at first. I got to live my life over and over, trying different approaches, redoing things I messed up each time. I lived it just about every way you could imagine. 
 
 The problem is, I've lived my life over millions of times now. And let me tell you, doing this over and over gets old. At some point you start getting philosophical, wondering what's the point of all this when you never get to see time move on past that one unbreakable barrier. And you start to wonder if you've doomed all of humanity to never seeing it either. Is everybody else held in this loop with me? Or am I spawning countless parallel universes, all of whom get to move on past my death while I am stuck here for all eternity. 
 
 In the end, it does n't matter. I'm done. I just hope the cocktail of shit I just drank will convince whoever's in charge of this demented system to finally let me go. 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- -- 
 
 `` Hmm, it's been a few millenia since anyone rubbed my lamp. Now what is your heart's desire?''
