[ WP ] `` Welcome to paradise , gentlemen . ''

The Pearly Gates swing open and a booming voice beckons. 
 `` Welcome to paradise, gentlemen. David, your mother is waiting to greet you in The Hall of Souls.'' 
 The tall, bald guy on my far left looks to see who's addressing him. He has dark brown hair, glasses, really long sideburns, and is wearing a 3-piece suit. He looks awestruck. 
 `` John, your father is waiting for you in The Great Chamber,'' booms the voice. 
 The guy on my left, wearing long sleeve shirt and jeans, with a chain around his neck, nods. 
 I look at the other 2 guys standing next me, wondering who is waiting for me, when I hear the booming voice again. 
 `` And you, my friend...'' 
 `` Me?'' I ask inquisitively knowing there's no-one else left, but wanting to be sure. 
 `` Yes. You will follow my directions, but first, I'm sure you all have questions.'' 
 `` Yeah. How do I get to the Hall of Souls?'' asks David. 
 `` And the Great Chamber,'' adds John. 
 `` SILENCE!'' booms the voice, before I can chime in. 
 `` All your questions will be answered in time. That is what Orientation is for. It is to ease you in to the transition from your time on Earth to your time here in Paradise. Now follow the blinking lights please. 
 
 As if by magic, a set of lights appear ahead of us. David is the closest, and starts walking by the lights, with John and me following behind him. For a place called Paradise, you'd expect there to be more bright colors, but the lights are rather dim. As if obscured by mist. This is definitely not what I had in mind when I pictured Paradise. It's not the kind of place my uncle described either. He told me about what happened when my mother and father gave their life for the cause. And it sounded glorious. Then came that hallowed day when my brother too was taken. After hearing all my uncle's stories, I could n't wait to see for myself. There were several times when I tried to jump the line, but my uncle told me very sternly that I had to wait my turn. That my act had to be meaningful, and that my turn would come. Finally, after years of waiting, my day had come. I was finally here, but this was not at all as I pictured. 
 
 We finally arrive in this great big amphitheater. All my favorite foods are there. There are a few women there too. Not as many as I would have thought. They are also dressed strangely. Definitely not the way the women dressed in my country. 
 
 At the far end is a guy dressed all in white. And it looks like he has wings. 
 `` Welcome, new members of Paradise, I am Gabriel, the archangel,'' says the guy in white. `` You can eat whatever you like, whenever you like, and as much as you like, and never have to worry about your weight or attractiveness.'' 
 `` Is this all kosher?'' asks David. 
 `` There are no dietary laws in Paradise, David,'' Gabriel replies. 
 `` What about sex before marriage?'' asks John, staring at the women. 
 `` No such thing here. You may have as much sex as you like, with as many people as you like, whenever you like, and you will never get any... I believe you call them STDs.'' 
 
 As David and John rush over to what few women there are, I can only stand there with my mouth open. This does n't make any sense. This is n't anything like the stories I'd heard about. This is n't my idea of Paradise. This is not what I signed up for. This is n't why I left all my friends on Earth. This is n't why I've been praying 5 times a day every day since I was a young boy. I felt a strong sense of anger building up inside of me. It felt like someone was playing a cruel joke on me. 
 
 `` This is it?'' I finally managed to sputter. 
 The winged guy named Gabriel turned to me. Then again, so did everyone else. Even the women who were fawning all over David and John. 
 `` But-But-where are my 72 virgins? I was promised 72 virgins. All I see is a handful of women in front of me and they're already taken. That was one of the main reasons I was so eager to finally get here. I was saving myself for them, and now...'' 
 
 Gabriel walks over to me, puts his giant hands on my shoulders and says `` During your time on Earth, you have learned a great many things. You will find that only some of them are true. Others, well...'' 
 
 Suddenly I hear another voice. It's familiar, but I just ca n't place it. I hear it again. I look up, open my eyes, and see my brother leaning over my bed. 
 `` Ahmed, wake up,'' he says jostling me awake. `` Today is the big day. The one you've been waiting for, for so many years. Today is YOUR day. Today you will make history, praise Allah.''
