[ WP ] So apparently , I swear a ****ing lot .

Once upon a time there was a piece of shit town, with a neighbourhood filled with wankers. In that neighbourhood filled with wankers, there was a street with a back alley where all the slags hung out. And on that street where the slags hung out, was a very special bakery. 
 “ Right, step up you fucking tarts and get yourself a pasty! ” Yelled the Baker incoherently at that one old lady that always had the faintest of aroma of shit around her. The elderly women pondered a bit and yelled back “ Piss off your pasties are shit! ” This soon led to an argument amount whose mother sucked the most dicks in the back alley, but we all know that it was the elderly women since her mum was a right tosser. Within moments an unsuspecting visitor burst through the door… 
 …Fucking Hell, it ’ s William Shakespeare! 
 “ Ladies and Gents of this fine establishment, I decree that it is time for an old fashioned baking duel! ” 
 And so it was off, two well-matched cooks who were both fags for learning how to cook sweltering over a hot stove. Sooner or later some chav or git yelled out “ Oi you puffters gim me a fuckin ’ sausage roll ya knobs! ” in the only way a spaz cou- 
 “ Don ’ t you write such vile filth boy! ” Yelled the wench who just barged in whilst I was writing. “ Don ’ t call me a wench I raised you 9 months in the womb and this is what I get oh your dad will love to hear about this he ’ ll give you a write beating he will and don ’ t think you ’ ll get fed tonight either if you write stories like this you ’ ll never become a doctor and we want a doctor in this family you hear oh kids these days thinking they can get away with this! ” She finally paused for a brea- “ She? What do you mean she? She ’ s the cat ’ s mother that ’ s it get off this machine and go do the dishes and don ’ t you dare try and post this to that “ read it ” thing you keep mentioning to us otherwise we ’ ll have your guts for garters your dad and I will! ” 
 “ But mum… ” I answered, in a final plea for forgiveness. “ No buts, go do those dishes! ” 
 Anyway, once upon a time there was a piece of shit town, with a neighbourhood filled with wankers. In that neighbourhood filled with wankers, there was a street with a back alley where all the slags hung out. And on that street where the slags hung out, was a very special bakery and I better get moving before I get slapped! 

