[ WP ] A video game character becomes self-aware .

*'' Why are you making me climb this wall with my bare hands? `` * shouted Kratos irritably as he scaled the impossibly steep surface of the temple's wall. `` Why could n't I just go around and use the ladder? Seriously, this is f'ed up!'' 
 
 He jumped from the wall and stabbed into the back of a flying manticore, struggling not to be thrown off of its powerful shoulders as it snapped its jaws at him and hissed ferociously. 
 
 `` Whoah, what the hell! I almost died! This thing I'm on is freaking angry! You mean I could n't just keep climbing that wall and mind my own business? This is bullshit!'' 
 
 The beast roared and slammed Kratos against the ground, throwing him off of its back and readying itself for a battle atop the temple. 
 
 `` Oh great, now I have to fight this thing. I suppose you have n't upgraded my weapons all the way either, because you're too dumb to press pause and actually look at the menus. Well, this is gon na be fun!'' 
 
 Kratos dodged the beast's first attack and stuck one of his chain-blades into its neck, running around the edge of the building and using the momentum to swing himself high up in the air. 
 
 `` Really? *Really?? * I could n't just stab this thing in the skull, I have to go and do something flashy like that? This is starting to piss me off! Where are those two naked bitches I used to hang out with? *What happened to them? `` * 
 
 The manticore roared and struck at him with its tail, blasting fire at him as he struck. Finally after a long and arduous struggle, Kratos decapitated the beast and stood in a pool of its blood. 
 
 `` Oh great, now I get a bunch of shiny rewards like a bunch of red orbs you're not going to be able to figure out how to use, or the health and magic I would n't have lost *if I had just kept climbing that freaking wall! `` * 
 
 A bridge made of light appeared, connecting the roof of the temple to a larger temple surrounded by snakes. 
 
 `` I suppose it's time for me to climb this thing now. Nope, I ca n't go on a jog to get my exercise or bench-press at the gym. I have to climb mountains and kill mythical beasts with my bare hands! Could n't just make life easy for me, I could n't jump on turtles or organize a bunch of multi-colored blocks **nope** I have to go out and kill all of the Greek Gods. **ALL** of them.'' 
 
 He sighed as he began walking across the bridge, concealing his blades behind his shoulders. 
 
 `` I'd better be getting a raise soon.''
