[ WP ] A Man dies and expects to go either Heaven or Hell , only to be told by an Angel that he already was in Hell and now his punishment is over

`` Hi St. Peter. How's it up here in heaven?'' 
 `` Good as always. I thought I'd get bored sooner or later, but nothing beats free Netflix.'' 
 `` Sick. So I guess I was a pretty good person in life, huh.'' 
 `` Pretty good person? Oh, you thought that was life? No, dude, that was hell you just came from. ( I told Michael the Jews were going to get the right idea, but he did n't listen to me. Could've kept his watch duty, but guess who got to sit at the polls, moron. )'' 
 `` Wait, what?! That was hell?!'' 
 `` Um, yeah. Satan knew you guys hated life so much he turned hell into an exact copy of Earth. The other angels thought it was cruel, but to his credit that's pretty ingenious.'' 
 `` So wait. How does it work?'' 
 `` Simple. There's your original life, you die and either take the fast pass to heaven if your a good little boy or you take more chances in hell, with it just getting worse as time goes on. You keep being reincarnated until you have a life where you can be happy in the chaos and you get to come back here ( some conditions may apply ).'' 
 `` Well I'll be damned.'' 
 `` You sure were kid. And just in time too, right before Donald Trump became president. I'm probably not going to be seeing a lot of people here anytime soon.''
