[ WP ] You reject someone by saying `` I 'll go on a date with you the day hell freezes over . '' The next day , Satan appears in your room , shivering , and covered in snow .

`` Alright, *Mark*'' Satan spat, his eyes glowing red hot despite his bodies obvious shivers, `` It's time you and I had a *little chat*.'' 
 
 Mark was paralyzed. One moment he'd been in bed watching some *Friends* to unwind, and the next the TV blinks off as a pillar of flame erupted from his floor, leaving a goosebumped, crimson demon looming over him. 
 
 It was evident this was Satan himself; Mark recognized the satyr like body and the forked tail. But despite the sputtering flames on the carpet, the Devil had frost coating his goatee and furry legs, and was visibly shaking from cold. 
 
 It was a lot to take in. 
 
 `` Yes... uh... yessir.'' Mark sputtered. `` Am I... uh... have I angered you, um, sir?'' 
 
 `` *ANGERED ME? *'' the beings voice boomed as steam rose from his eyes. `` *YOU HAVE COATED MY KINGDOM IN ICE! *'' 
 
 Again, Mark was dumbfounded. 
 
 The demon sighed exasperatedly, clearly annoyed at Mark's obvious ignorance. `` You. The girl. You turned her down. Said Hell had to freeze over. The Big Man Upstairs says you're supposed to be together. He froze hell over. I complained, he sent me to deal with *you*.'' His mouth grimaced as he spoke, the words growing more pointed and harsh as he progressed, inching closer to Mark with each passing second. `` So now *I'm* here to tell *you* to get your shit together, or I will *personally* see to it that you suffer and burn in my *DARKEST, MOST TERRIBLE PIT*.'' At this point he was leaning over Mark's quaking form, his face mere inches from the mortals. Moisture seeped through the lower portions of the sheets. `` Do I make my self *abundantly* clear?'' 
 
 `` Yessir'' Mark quivered. `` Sally. I'll.. I'll find her.'' 
 
 `` Good.'' Satan stood. `` He's got some plan for you. And I'll be damned if your actions freeze my home. And I do the damning.'' He glared. 
 
 There was a brief pause. 
 
 `` Well?'' Satan growled. 
 
 `` Oh. Um, you want me to go now?'' 
 
 `` *YES, YOU FOOL! *'' Satan's voice boomed so loudly it shook the very foundation of Mark's apartment. `` *NOW! *'' 
 
 Mark scrambled, pants still soaking, and made a dash for the door. He threw on a jacket and fumbled with his shoes before sprinting away into the night, his door swinging ajar behind him. 
 
 `` Hmph. Humans.'' 
 
 Satan disappeared in a wisp of smoke. 
 
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