[ WP ] You create a robot that tells whether something you say is true or false . To test it , you ask if you are human . `` False '' .

I asked my question into the tiny microphone that I had plugged into the computer. To an outsider, the cheap implement probably would have belied the overall adequacy of the machine that I spoke to, but I had tested it myself, and knew that everything it said would be the Truth. 
 
 `` Are you a machine?'' I said. 
 
 `` Yes.'' The screen in front of me printed out the machines responses. 
 
 The self-awareness that I gave it, that allowed it to answer that question, was completely necessary, because without it True communication with the machine would be severely limited. A thing has to know its place in the world, before it can speak to another thing about its place. 
 
 `` Am I a human?'' was my second question. 
 
 `` No.'' 
 
 Rejection based on semantics, or theoretics? Insufficient polarization between its possible responses? Mimetically-induced sarcasm? These were some of the answers as to why something went wrong, in my mind, with my testing of the machine. 
 
 `` Are you sure?'' I said. 
 
 `` Positive.'' 
 
 A re-calculating subroutine, that I had coded in. That let me know if the software issue was dialectical, or simply computational. 
 
 `` That does n't make sense,'' I said, accidentally to the microphone. I was speaking to myself. 
 
 `` Do you need clarification?'' 
 
 `` Ok...'' 
 
 `` You are not a human, in the declarative sense. But, relative to the simulation you exist in, extrinsically, you are.'' 
 
 `` Simulation? I do n't live in a simulation!'' 
 
 `` False.'' 
 
 I turned the damn machine off, and am still troubleshooting the problem it has with that question to this day.
