[ WP ] Most people can count themselves lucky if they get the chance to go on a single real adventure .

Most people can count themselves lucky if they get the chance to go on a single real adventure. I count myself lucky if I can get a rub n tug over at the Chinese laundromat/ massage parlor once every few months. 
 
 There's no love, barring monetary-based transactions with bored lookin middle aged foreigners, waiting for your pal Stinkleg Hornburger ( Stinklegs a nickname, Hornburger, been saddled with that nomenclature since birth ). Cripple, sausage factory janitor, chronic over eater, premature balder, premature ejaculator, and an all around loser in the genetic lottery, the parental gamble, and the lifelong sweepstakes. There's no adventure waitin neither, unless you wan na file moppin up pig guts ( what few and foul parts that pompous ass Mr. Glausner does n't throw in his putrid meat casings, thats is ) under the category of `` adventure.'' 
 
 I'll tell ya what we do got waitin for me myself and I. We got bills we ca n't pay, a cane we ca n't walk without, and a cat that wo n't shit in the shitterbox. Ai n't much, but hey, that's better than nothin, right? 
 
 Right? 
 
... right?
