[ PI ] Loose Threads - 2YR CONTEST ENTRY

Teslok, you have good flow in your writing. The story here is very interesting and there are a lot of good scenes. I found the pacing to be too fast, however, for the amount of things that happen in the story. To full introduce twelve characters and include the raft, river side, cave, sub station, second raft, ritual, chase, and thread of life scenes just does not seem doable within 5400 words. In spots of the story, such as the beginning and the tube station scenes, your writing is very clear and enjoyable. I just felt the pacing was too fast.
