You 've just killed Santa in your living room mistaking him for a burglar . Any moment your wife and three kids are going to wake up and come down stairs for Christmas [ WP ]

I quickly throw all the presents into the red wagon Santa delivered. And drag it to the door. Then I pile my wife's jewelry box, our bluray player and all the liquor in the house on the formerly jolly man in the red suit. I pour out the strongest stuff onto his velvet coat and beard. 
 
 
 I hear a stomp and sneak onto the roof and shoo the reindeer away, they fly north until I do n't see them anymore. 
 
 
 Back downstairs I tip our natural tree over onto the body. Then watch as fire spreads from fireplace to tree to alcohol to fat man. 
 
 
 I run upstairs and wait in the bathroom. 
 
 
 The smoke alarm goes off. I get the baby from the bassinet and pull up my wife. 
 
 
 `` Fire! Get Tabby outside, I'll get Noah! Run!'' She runs. I pick up her robe and a quilt. 
 
 
 Noah is sleeping through the alarm. I pick him up and wrap him in quilt. 
 
 
 My wife is in the car backing away from house. I toss Noah in the back and tell her to call 911. 
 
 
 I run back in and grab my laptop and the wagon load of toys. Santa is fully engulfed in flame. 
 
 
 The heat makes me shield my face. `` I'm sorry,'' I say and pull the wagon out to the car. 
 
 
 The kids are crying. My wife sees the wagon load of toys and points it out to Noah who cheers! He could care less about the house as long as his new Hatchimal survives! 
 
 
 I put the wagon in the hatchback and sit in the passenger side, the cars heater is starting to warm up the car. 
 
 
 Noah hugs his Hatchimal egg and my wife looks me dead in the eye and says, `` You saved Christmas.''
