[ WP ] You just had a very close near death experience . You are shaken up—not because of what happened , but what you saw before you were brought back .

I had heard people say that the first one was the hardest. I can now assure you they are wrong. Very wrong. The 34th is the hardest, and for those who made it further than me, every one there after. Sure, the pressure on my intestines was tough at numbers 7 and 8, the cheese began to curd beyond palatable at 9 and 10, the pickles no longer crunched at 11 through 15, the buns became a parachute in my throat at 16 through 24, and I could hear the beef screaming for reprieve from 25 to 33, but only cheese burger number 34 stopped my heart. 
 
 In many ways, the three minutes or so that I lay dead at Magic Jack's Burger Challenge contest were the happiest of my life. I no longer cared about the ketchup smeared across my face or the pretty girl in the front row who I had managed to drench in burger fragments as my arms flailed for help and I collapsed to the floor. Instead, I felt a calmness and balance. The sky melted into a beautiful wave that wrapped distance and light and sound as it crashed into me like a warm blanket. I let go and was swept through strange images and feelings that ate at the remnants of my self and passed them into the wave. The wave passed through fields and mountains and absorbed them, leaving a blackness in its wake, but not a malevolent one. 
 
 Right as the wave seemed to be gathering energy, it crested, broke, and left me in darkness, but not complete darkness. In the middle of my mind's eye, gargantuan against the backdrop of nothingness, lay my true love and reason for being. A delicious, greasy, ketchup-drenched, onion and pepper coated, cheeseburger. In that instant of recognition, I sank back into my body, took a hard swallow, and sat up to complete the challenge.
