[ wp ] Write a comic exchange where two people slice each other with sly and bitchy insults while pretending to be nice .

`` Oh hi doctor Marsh, you ’ re looking like you had a fun evening.'' 
 
 `` Thank you nurse Robinson, I can see you ’ re fresh as a rose, as usual. Is your husband “ out of town ” again?'' 
 
 `` Indeed he is. Got ta work for that check. You of all people know how expensive women can get.'' 
 
 `` Oh don ’ t get me started. I for one, couldn ’ t afford more than one… Talking about work, what do we start with today?'' 
 
 `` Thomas Bergersen, 42, for a gastric bypass. I ’ m sorry I should have foreseen that with your schedule you wouldn ’ t have time to read the charts last night.'' 
 
 `` A yes thank you, our obese patient, sorry I couldn ’ t see him behind you. Could you hand me the chart? Mmm, yes, I see. A very simple indeed Mr. Bergersen. Even nurse Robinson could do it. No no of course, I will do it. You ’ ll be out in no time.'' 
 
 `` Trust him Mr. Bergersen, doctor Marsh sure knows a thing or two about shortcuts.'' 
 
 `` Thank you for your valuable input nurse Robinson. Now if you could keep to your duties and carr… wheel Mr. Bergersen to the OR, I ’ ll meet you there to perform the operation while you stand next to him.'' 
 
 `` Of course doctor Marsh. I ’ ll let you prep. Don ’ t forget to wash your hands before you scrub in, it ’ s important when they spend so much time inside so many people.'' 
 
 
 * [ Cut to the O.R. The patient is unconscious, and nurse Robinson is standing by doctor Marsh who is getting ready to operate. ] * 
 
 
 `` Could you hand me the scalpel? I need something sharp to assist me.'' 
 
 `` Here it is doctor, careful that thing will go through any flesh. Thankfully you ’ re experienced.'' 
 
 `` Indeed nurse, this isn ’ t your average kitchen knife. Now for the initial incision.'' 
 
 `` Oh what a beautiful zig-zag. Such regular lateral movement of the hand. Do you want me to wipe that blood before it soaks your shoes?'' 
 
 `` Yes, thank you nurse Roberson. With your skills I trust you ’ ll clean that in no time.'' 
 
 `` Oh really I don ’ t know. That is really a lot of blood. Looks like someone spilled a family-size bottle of soda in here.'' 
 
 `` I wouldn ’ t know nurse, I don ’ t have your… familiarity with these volumes. Now if you could provide suction inside the incision. Here that ’ s better.'' 
 
 `` Oh, I ’ m sure I ’ m not as… talented with this as your usual assistants doctor. Tell me, are your hands steadier than ever or is the patient not breathing anymore?'' 
 
 `` Sh… Hold the scalpel while I begin CPR. I would ask you to do it but I want the patient to live.'' 
 
 `` I can see you ’ ve done your best doctor. Mr. Bergersen clearly is in the best hands for such a routine operation. Shall I go prep the next vict… patient, while you finish with this one?'' 
 
 `` Mmmph, mmmph. Time of death 11:43 AM… Well that will be it. Thank you nurse Roberson, the bypass ring is still on the table. Do you want me to help you with it?''
