[ WP ] Your pious life allows you to become an angel when you die . You discover that God is not the good guy everybody thinks he is . In fact , it 's clear for you why Lucifer , and now you , have to rebel against him .

( 1/2 ) 
 
 “ God fucking damnit, someone help me ” 
 
 Somehow I was able to hear the screams over the roaring flames. There was still someone trapped in the house. And judging from the bits of rubble that was crumbling from the ceiling, it wouldn ’ t be long before the house was no more. I looked toward the room next over as I heard a long string of expletives. This was one kid, who didn ’ t care what others thought of his language. But it wasn ’ t my job to decide whether or not he was worth saving. God judges man. I just save them from burning to death. 
 
 I pried the door open and peered into the room, searching for survivors. Most of the ceiling seemed to have caved in in this area, Piles of rubble covered the floor. And in the center, a young teen about 15 years of age, his leg covered in bits of ceiling. 
 
 “ You gon na help me or not, you shithead? ” 
 
 “ Not my place to say no, ” I muttered to myself. 
 
 I made my way towards the kid and began lifting up the chunk of ceiling that was holding his leg prisoner. After a couple of seconds the kid squirmed free and ran away towards the room ’ s exit. I tried to catch up with him, but tripped over a dislodged floorboard before he ran out of my sight. Kid probably was going to get lost and disoriented without me to guide him out of the building. I brought myself to my feet and looked around trying to figure out where he went. But before I could make a decision, the building began shaking. The house couldn ’ t stay standing any longer. I braced myself as fiery chunks of debris began hurtling down towards me. I felt my body crumble and then for a second I felt nothing. All sound. All sight. All of existence around me seemed to have faded away instantaneously. 
 
 The next second, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. My eyes opened in shock to see a bright light being shown in my face. I began blinking rapidly, trying to adjust to the light. It wasn ’ t fire or anything like I ’ d just experienced lately. A deep voice called my name. 
 
 “ Andrew Jefferson, that is your name isn ’ t it? ” 
 
 “ Y-yes, ” I stuttered. 
 
 “ Tell me a bit about yourself ” 
 
 “ Um, excuse me, is this some kind of interview or something? ” 
 
 “ You could say that ” 
 
 “ Well, I ’ m fine as it is. I have a steady job as a firefighter and I wouldn ’ t dream of doing anything else. ” 
 
 “ Yeah, well, that ’ s gon na be kind of a problem. You ’ re not exactly a firefighter any more ” 
 
 “ What the hell are you talking about ” 
 
 “ You could say you ’ ve gotten ‘ fired ’ in a way. But it ’ s okay. You seem like you could be a good candidate for a position I ’ ve got open for you. Just need to know a bit about you first. ” 
 
 “ Listen I don ’ t have any time for this. I need to talk to... Agh! ” I yelped as I tried to get up out of the chair I was sitting in. I looked down at myself. All of my clothes had been stripped off and replaced with a loincloth. I peered at my flesh noticing that it had been badly burnt and seemed to be covered with mold and maggots. I fell back into my seat horrified and stared up at the man holding a large flashlight in my eyes. He had a long gray beard, reaching down to his waist and a full business suit complete with a tie. He smiled at me for a second, not a warm smile, but more of the kind of smile you ’ d expect from a politician who was just putting a façade on his face to get more voters. He coughed for a second and continued talking. 
 
 “ I ’ d recommend waiting a little while before attempting to get up. The Blood of Jesus needs a little more time to heal your wounds. In the meantime, I ’ m going to need to ask you a couple of questions. I would recommend answering this time, if you continue being uncooperative, I ’ ll have to stop the healing procedure. The Blood of Jesus is a precious drug. I can ’ t keep wasting it on someone who won ’ t even try to prove his worth. ” 
 
 “ My worth? ” 
 
 “ You say you were a firefighter, right? I would like to know why you decided to become one. ” 
 
 “ Well, I ’ ve always enjoyed helping people. I decided that by being a firefighter, I ’ d be able to make a living off of it. Nothing brightened up my day more than knowing I was able to save someone ’ s life... ” 
 
 “ Great. Great. Kay then. Are you familiar with the concept of Christianity. I ’ d be cool with Judaism or Islam as well, but Christianity is my main focus. ” 
 
 “ Um. Yes I am Christian. How is this relevant to... ” 
 
 “ Fantastic, really nice to have a Christian on board. I need people like you. One last quick question, You ever eat pork, ham, bacon anything like that? ” 
 
 “ Um... I ’ m vegetarian, but I don ’ t quite understand what this has to do with... ” 
 
 “ Great. Always hated pigs. Always rolling around in the mud like the filthy animals they are. I don ’ t understand how anyone could eat those things. Anyways, welcome to the team, You should be all healed up now. ” 
 
 I felt a tingling sensation in my body and peered once down again at my body and saw that all of the burns had vanished from my skin. In fact, my skin was flawless, practically shining with perfection. The lights around me began to dim and the bearded man began to stride towards me, hand outstretched towards me. I timidly, lifted my hand towards him, and he immediately grabbed it, giving me a firm handshake before reaching over and pulling the tube out of my arm 
 
 “ So glad to have you on board. The name ’ s God. Come this way. I ’ ll have one of my other angels give you a lift. ” He turned away briefly before yelling out “ Hey Gabriel. Mind helping me bring the new recruit to heaven? ” 
 
 A large muscular man turned towards us carrying a corpse in his hands, “ Shouldn ’ t we rebury all of these failed applicants first? ” 
 
 “ Oh, no need for that, ” God responded “ We can come back later. We ’ ve got more important things to deal with right now. Andrew Jefferson here needs to go through initiation. 
 
 “ Andrew Jefferson, ” Gabriel mumbled, “ That ’ s what he ’ s going with? ” 
 
 “ Oh we haven ’ t discussed new names yet. I wanted to show him home base before we went through all the paperwork. ” 
 
 “ Right, right ” Gabriel muttered as he trudged over towards me. He grabbed my arms with such force that I though he was going to break them. Yet strangely, despite his grip being stronger than what should be comfortable, I didn ’ t feel any pain. Whatever, this stuff God referred to as The Blood Of Jesus must have been some kind of painkiller. 
 
 “ See you at the top ” God yelled out before Gabriel shot up into the sky. 

