[ WP ] The devil once promised he would grant you any wish , free of charge , on the day Hell froze over . Today he 's back , and covered in snow .

It was about 6 PM on a Friday night and I was just sitting down in my apartment to eat my dinner enjoy some Netflix when the doorbell rang. 
 
 `` Son of a biscuit! Who could it be at this hour?'' 
 
 I opened the door to find Lou standing outside my door just covered in snow. 
 
 `` Uh, hi, Lou. What brings you around at this hour? Want to come in?'' 
 
 He nodded yes and stepped inside saying, `` John, do you remember when we got really drunk and made that dumb wager?'' 
 
 `` Which dumb wager, as I recall that was hardly a one time occurrence.'' 
 
 `` You know **THE** Wager!'' 
 
 `` You mean the one where if Hell froze over you'd give me any wish I ever wanted no strings attached? That wager?'' 
 
 `` Yeah, that one. You want the good news or the bad news first?'' 
 
 `` Does it have anything to do with the fact why you're covered in snow in the middle of a heat wave in July?'' 
 
 `` Ok, good news first. You won.'' 
 
 `` And the bad news?'' 
 
 `` It may just be better to show you.'' Lou said as he handed me a newspaper. 
 
 `` Trump won? How in the Hell did that happen?'' 
 
 `` That's exactly how it happened. You know how it is, a few Imps start trying to one up each other, the dares get more and more outrageous than before you know it, you get this.'' Lou took a deep breath and continued... `` So let's get this over with, since I regret this already and we have n't even gotten to your wish yet.'' 
 
 `` Uh... make Trump not President?'' 
 
 `` I wish! No, that's right out. Sorry.'' 
 
 `` That hardly seems fair, the bet was anything I wanted.'' 
 
 `` It was but if I grant you your wish then Hell never freezes over and thus you do n't get your wish and you ca n't wish for Trump to be President. Time and space become meaningless concepts and the Man Upstairs has to come down in person to fix everything and more importantly I have to sit through a long and boring lecture about not messing with time paradoxes and still end up owing you a wish, so let's not and just say we did, ok!? Other than Trump not being president what is your wish?'' 
 
 I told him. 
 
 `` That's it? No harem of beautiful women, no infinite wealth, none of that?'' 
 
 `` Those seem good in theory but as I'm sure you're intimately familiar, the Devil is in the details. So no, that's my wish.'' 
 
 `` That he is alright then, let's get this over with.'' He clapped his hands together with a shit-eating grin on his face, `` This is gon na be great!'' 
 
 = 
 
 *Meanwhile in a certain New York City High Rise Office... * 
 
 
 `` Today's newspaper, sir.'' 
 
 `` Thank you, Kellyann.'' He said as she walked away. 
 
 It was at this point he picked up the newspaper and he saw IT. 
 
 `` Aw, shit!'' 
 
 = 
 
 A few days later Lou and I were hanging out having the time of our lives watching the news when a bright flash of light came out of nowhere. 
 
 **'' WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE TERMS OF YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE ALMIGHTY! `` ** 
 
 `` Gabriel, old buddy. I have done no such thing as you'll recall I'm not allowed to interfere with any mortal's free will and I assure his free will is very much intact!'' Lou retorted. 
 
 `` Wait a minute, Gabriel? As in THE Gabriel, the Archangel Gabriel?'' I stuttered in shock. 
 
 **'' THE ONE AND THE SAME. YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT YOU, LOU CYPHER, HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH TRUMP BEING ELECTED PRESIDENT AND PROMPTLY FLEEING TO SOUTH AMERICA NOT EVEN TWO DAYS LATER? `` ** 
 
 `` Well, I may have had something to do with that but not by messing with his free will. He decided to do that all on his own. Would you like to see how?'' 
 
 **'' PLEASE! `` ** 
 
 Lou handed him a copy of the newspaper that we sent Trump. 
 
 Gabriel picked up the newspaper, it was dated 6/5/17 and the headline was `` Former Millionaire Impeached and Imprisoned on Tax Fraud Charges. 
 
 Gabriel took a look at it and then burst out laughing and left in a flash of light. 
 
 `` Oh man, that was great! We should totally do this again. Also you still have a wish coming, bud.'' 
 
 `` What are you talking about? I used it when we trolled Trump.'' 
 
 `` This one is for services rendered.'' 
 
 `` Well, in that case I've got this really hot date coming up...'' 
 
 `` Say no more. I've got it covered. By the way, I've got this list here of people I've been meaning to come after and if you're interested you could teach me about this concept of trolling and help me get some of these guys.'' 
 
 `` Guys, what kind of guys?'' 
 
 `` All sorts, for example, how much do you know about Scientology?''
