[ TT ] A new law makes all 2016 New Year 's resolutions legally binding .

I scanned the headline of today's Post. It screamed out in bold letters: **As of January 1st, 2016, all New Year's Resolutions are now legally binding**. Below, the new law was summarized and described in detail by a law communications specialist. On page five, two lawyers debated the possible consequences of the new law. However, the question of how such a game-changing law was passed without anybody noticing was never discussed. 
 
 It was simple. Each year, every individual was required to make five resolutions. Each resolution had to be concrete and objectively achievable. For example, I could n't simply say that I would work out more next year - I had to commit to going to the gym a certain number of times per year for a quantitative period of time, and I had to burn so-and-so number of calories. If, by December 31st of 2016, that goal had not been achieved, I was to be fined an amount not exceeding ten-thousand dollars. 
 
 Obviously, there was a glaring loophole in the Resolution Law of 2016. People could simply establish resolutions that were so easily achievable that they were, for all extents and purposes, meaningless. 
 
 By March 15th, it became clear that I was not the only one who had thought this way. Census data showed that the most popular resolution, which had clearly originally been conceived by a lawyer but copied by many others, had been to `` Go to any facility with a treadmill inside it for one minute once a year and take two steps.'' Closely following that, the next resolution was to `` Spend no more than one million dollars per day.'' 
 
 What would this mean for society as a whole? Anthropologists and sociologists buzzed with excitement. To me, the answer was clear. 
 
 New Year's Resolutions no longer held any meaning. As a matter of fact, I reflected, it's possible that they never really did. It was up to us to decide when, and how, to change our lives for the better. 
 
 
 

