[ WP ] Leonardo DiCaprio in a fit of rage begins to torpedo his own career by deliberately acting poorly and taking on bad films . He finally wins an oscar for starring in Paul Blart : Mall Cop 3 .

Leo stood there in perfect silence. The hushed crowd at the Academy Awards sat, eyes fixed on the podium. The air conditioning hummed softly. A man coughed in the back of the room. 
 
 `` You won, Leo!'' an enthusiastic Robert Downey, Jr., said, patting DiCaprio on the back. `` You got your Oscar! Good job, man!'' 
 
 The golden statute thudded, clanged, and rolled as it hit the floor. Shoulders thrust forward, eyes cast before him, Leo shuffled off the stage. 
 
 `` Ladies and gentlemen,'' Downey, Jr., quipped, `` I think he's auditioning for a part in George Romero's next film! Is n't method acting wonderful?'' 
 
 Nervous good cheer flittered about the ballroom like anxious birds on the wing. Leo pushed through the outer doors. Cameras followed him, flashes flashing, shutters shuttering, and a slow but insistent buzz of conversation began, the angry bees kept too long in the pit of clenched-tight stomachs finally releasing their hold. 
 
 The following day, the newspapers would read that somewhere that DiCaprio's white tux was found discarded in an alley beyond the Dolby Theater, being used as a blanket by a homeless man and his dog. His shoes were not far beyond, being tied together and slung over a wire, hanging forlorn and shiny, like the patent-leather reminder of a forgettable performance of a lifetime, the crowning achievement woven of thorns.
