[ WP ] You are visited by your guardian angel but he/she is an asshole .

`` C'mon, you can do it'' 
 
 `` I dare ya!'' 
 
 `` It's not that high, you pussy'' 
 
 Their jeering remarks spurred me forth. I stepped closer to the edge, my eyes involuntarily drawn to the drop. The bottom was shrouded by the mist. They said there was a lake at the bottom. I trusted their words, but everything inside of me was screaming at me not to do it. My body refused to step forwards. 
 
 `` I'm going to do it!'' I screeched at them, my voice quivering. 
 
 They went silent and whispered among themselves. My eyes fixated on the drop. I can do this, I reassured myself, I can do this. I brushed my hair back and turned backwards slightly, giving them a fierce look. At my glance they all fell silent. I gave them a smirk and put one foot over the edge. And then the other. 
 
 I fell. 
 
 Someone from above screamed. I closed my eyes tight. My stomach seized. I'm going to die! My instincts shouted. Do something! I was n't going to die, I reassured myself, there's water at the bottom. I opened my eyes, determined to prove this point. I could now see the bottom, the fog that had shrouded it before was now surrounding me. 
 
 My heart seized up. There was no water! 
 
 Those lying bastards! 
 
 Those were my last thoughts before I fell into an unconscious state. 
 
 
 I was upside down in a fireman's hold. My body was pressed up against some hard and warm. 
 
 My eyes shot open. 
 
 `` Geez, you're heavy kid'' A voice grunted from above me. 
 
 `` Who-who are you?'' I whispered. 
 
 `` Randy Muchas, that's my name. I'm your guardian angel. I'd apologise for the shitty job I've been doing, but you kind of piss me off.'' 
 
 `` Huh?'' I said dazed. Guardian angel? Those things did n't exist unless you counted those glass angels my Nanna puts up on display. 
 
 `` But seriously, why did you try to kill yourself? God you're annoying, grow up. Get some sense.'' He spiralled on. 
 
 `` Well, sorry,'' I snapped `` You did n't have to save me'' 
 
 He dropped me. 
 
 `` Owwww'' I screeched. 
 
 I looked up. The guardian angel in front of me was big, covered in muscles. He had a pink shirt on, and green loose boxers. He was looking down on me in contempt, his blue eyes fixated on me. He crossed his arms comfortably across his chest. 
 
 `` Stop being a dick. And yes I did. If I did n't I lose my job, and this job gives kickass pay.'' He ranted `` But seriously think of it from my perspective. I was chilling in my room, watching some dance moms, when my fucking P.A. runs in and screams that you, kid-G had just jumped off a cliff. So I had to go fucking save you. And god, you're heavy, did I mention that? And do you know what the worst part is? I still have the old foxtel box, so I could n't even record the rest or pause it. So now I'm fucking missing it.'' 
 
 He paused to take a deep breath. 
 
 `` Fuck you, kid.'' He finished and disappeared into white smoke. 
 
 I fell back in the dirt baffled. What was that? A hallucination? Probably not, I thought to myself, my brain could have thought of better insults. My head was sore, I must have bumped it on the way down. That did n't matter though, because I was alive! I smiled broadly. 
 
 There was another poof of white smoke. I coughed. 
 
 `` Oi kid,'' Randy Muchas added `` Do n't you dare tell anyone you saw me. Otherwise I'll lose my job and hunt you down. I have n't had human meat 
 in a while, it's a rare illegal delicacy.'' 
 
 The smoke cleared from around him and he gave me a cruel grin before disappearing again. 

