[ WP ] You 've just just lost our planet in an online game of high stakes poker . You have to call the authorities and explain the situation before the neptunian warlord arrives to claim his winnings .

The questions were starting to get irritating, not to mention pedantic. “ I ’ ve told you and the authorities at least three times now. My name is Raymond Grant Fletch and I ’ ve done something terrible and you need to prepare! ” 
 
 His eyes looked over his thing rimmed glasses. A bored, yet attentive look on his long face. The corduroy blazer he wore seemed to match the rest of the décor in his small office. “ Uh-huh. Now tell me again what you think you ’ ve done that ’ s so terrible? ” 
 
 Exasperated exhale. “ I am a professional poker player and got into a high stakes game with Neptunian Overseer Zek, who also happens to enjoy his game of cards. We ’ d been going back and forth over some petty bets, a thousand credit here, two million there. It was really a friendly game. But then Zek bet his slave colony of Dartha. ” Raymonds ’ hands writhed in each other. The spectacled man glanced down at the hands wringing each other out and back at him in an instant. 
 
 He made a motion, like putting a check-mark on his clipboard. 
 
 “ Go on. ” 
 
 “ Well, I ’ d bluffed my way into the game saying I was the Supreme Ruler of Earth. I wasn ’ t going to get into the Tylaxian Open Deck games as a nobody. So I kept up the act. I bet the whole place. But I was so sure of my hand. I had kept track of all the faces played. The count was at +3, I ’ m sure of it. ” 
 
 His name badge said Dr. Beetle. He looked down and put another check-mark, his eyes scanning across the page, seemingly looking for another box to fill. Check. 
 “ And how long have you been having these ideas of aliens and being the ruler of the Earth? ” 
 
 “ I know I ’ m not the ruler of Earth, but aliens are real.. and you have to believe me. I didn ’ t think so either until I stumbled across the online poker games that I ’ ve been playing for 2 years now. I ’ ve been winning big and losing small. Remember the ‘ mysterious disappearance ’ of the wreck of the Titanic from the bottom of the ocean 8 months ago? I bet it and lost! Since no one officially owned it, I thought it being gone would go unnoticed for a while until I could win it back! ” 
 
 “ Are you on any medications? Do you have a family history of psychosis or delusions in your family? ” 
 
 Raymond rolled his eyes back, closed his lids, and hung his head. He was getting nowhere with this and the Neptunian Planet-catcher was going to be here in half a day. 
 
 “ I think your treatment is going to take some group sessions with me. What I ’ d like to do is start you off on some anti-psychotics, something like Zyprexa, to start off with. Maybe some Benadryl at night so you get enough sleep. Maybe next week we can discuss your discharge. ” 
 
 Raymond thought to himself for a moment. Maybe if he hid out in the psychiatric ward when Zek came to claim Earth as his winnings, he won ’ t have to confront anyone about. 
 
 Maybe once he gets out, he could sign up again as another player and win Earth back? 
 
 Maybe his new account name would be ‘ Zyprexa ’. That sounds pretty spacey. A lot more than Raymond-a-tar had. 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - 
 More stories at http: //www.unevennest.com 

