[ WP ] After a screw up occurs at the post office , Santa starts receiving damned souls while Satan is stuck with thousands of wish lists .

Satan sat scratching his head with his pitchfork. Nothing that has come to his evil domain in the past three weeks has made sense. `` What is this shit? TODD GET IN HERE NOW!'' 
 
 A wicked looking creature came scuttling into the Devil's office and stood at attention. It's black, soulless eyes staring at the Master. `` Yes Lucifer, you need me again?'' 
 
 `` I received another bundle of letters requesting more of these'iPhones' and other assorted merchandise. How are we coming along with the other requests?'' 
 
 Todd, unblinkingly, looked toward the ground. `` Well my Lord, the'Kindle Fires' were at first easy enough but when we went to add the fire part all the mechanical bits melted away. We were going to leave the fire out of it but we have so much it seems silly not to incorporate it somehow. As for the perfumes and colognes we just started dipping them in the `` sweat, blood, and tears'' pool so I think those are going to be splendid!'' 
 
 The Devil nodded and re-read another letter. `` What the fuck is a `` smart watch'' and why do so many people need one?'' 
 
 `` I do n't have a clue Sire but if it can be made from brimstone and pain then it should be easy enough to make.'' 
 
 `` See that it gets done Todd. Oh, before I forget. Did Margery get a hold of the USPS yet?'' 
 
 `` Not yet Sir. Their hours are all messed up and when we do get through they complain of prank calls and hang up on us!'' 
 
 `` I'll see them personally then.'' Satan said standing up and unfurling his massive black wings. `` If they do n't fix this soon there'll be Hell to pay!'' 
 
 
 -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - 
 
 
 Santa sat at his desk, glasses in one hand while the other was rubbing the space between his eyes. Outside beyond the gate waited hundreds, maybe even thousands, of souls. At first he thought they were here to help lend a hand but soon murders and thievery began and continued to grow at a rampant pace. 
 
 `` You called for me Boss?'' said a short, pointy eared elf. 
 
 `` Yes I did. Jerry, I'm sure you and everyone else are aware of our growing `` help'' problem that exists just outside of town. It has been three weeks and the numbers just continue to increase. You've done a marvelous job of setting up the policing force but have you made any headway as to what they are doing here?'' 
 
 Jerry took out his licorice notebook and flipped a few pages. `` Yes Santa. It seems that the USPS has made an error somewhere in their sorting system. We tried to call and have it corrected but their hours are all messed up and they wo n't return any of our messages.'' 
 
 `` Have we sent letters as well?'' 
 
 `` We have Sir but we think they are getting lost somewhere along the way.'' 
 
 Santa moved to the window and looked out at the ridiculous spectacle that awaited him out on the snowy plains. He then turned toward Jerry who stood anxiously. `` Did you manage to wrap one of those souls like I asked?'' 
 
 `` We did indeed Santa.'' 
 
 `` Good! Now prep my sleigh and make sure the reindeer are ready to go. Looks like I'm going to have to deliver a package early this year.''
