[ WP ] The Grimm Reaper has finally come to you - not to take your soul , but because he 's retiring and needs your help fitting in to society .

`` So you say you volunteer?'' 
 
 `` Yeah, a way of giving back. I do n't really talk it up on my profile much because it would seem like I'm trying too hard, but it's actually really interesting.'' 
 
 `` Sounds like you have a story.'' 
 
 `` Pass me the bread?... Aw, damn, got some sauce on my sleeve.'' 
 
 `` I'll forgive you. They have really good food here!'' 
 
 `` I know, right?'' 
 
 `` Volunteering.'' 
 
 `` Right. At the library. Mostly I see a lot of senior citizens. Now the other day, this one guy comes in. Dressed weird. 
 
 `` Weird?'' 
 
 `` You get older, your fashion tends to run towards the WalMart sale rack. It shows. But this guy? A robe.'' 
 
 `` Like a bathrobe?'' 
 
 `` Like a Judge's robe. Black, floor length.'' 
 
 `` That's weird.'' 
 
 `` Glad you agree --'' 
 
 *'' -- Can I get you another glass of wine? `` * 
 
 `` -- Yes, and one more...? Yeah, and one more for her.'' 
 
 *'' Very good. `` * 
 
 `` So yeah, black floor length robe. Did n't ask him about it. As long as they're decent I do n't question it.'' 
 
 `` Did you figure out what his deal was?'' 
 
 `` It's funny. I've been trying to figure it out. Okay. First time he comes in, he's in that robe. He asks about what people are wearing quote these days.'' 
 
 `` Did he show up to court naked under that robe?'' 
 
 `` Hah, maybe, maybe! I take him to the magazine rack, help him pick out a few things. AARP, Golf Digest, GQ. Spends the afternoon.'' 
 
 `` So he came back?'' 
 
 `` Same time a week later -- the librarian said that he had asked for me by name -- and this time he's got a collared shirt tucked into khaki shorts, socks and sandals. If he was at an old folks home I would have lost him.'' 
 
 `` He learned his lesson!'' 
 
 `` He did. With gusto. Now this time he asks about, uh how did he put it?'The Plants and Animals people keep inside.''' 
 
 `` Like, pets?'' 
 
 `` That's what I said,'You mean pets and houseplants, that kind of thing.''' 
 
 ``... weird.'' 
 
 `` So again, I take him to the section about pets and gardens and things. He asks me,'what's easy?''' 
 
 `` He's never had a pet?'' 
 
 `` I'll get there. So we go through a few things. Cats, dogs, he says too much too soon. Lizards, reptiles? Not his thing. Finally he found a book on birds, little ones.'' 
 
 `` Not parrots.'' 
 
 `` No, he wanted it to be easy. He said that he was going to go get a couple of finches and maybe an aloe plant.'' 
 
 `` That sounds easy.'' 
 
 `` Now the weird thing, weirder than the robe, is what he said on his way out.'' 
 
 `` Oh?'' 
 
 ``'I've never kept anything alive before.' `` 
 
 `` What the hell does that mean?'' 
 
 `` I do n't know. Weird, is n't it?'' 
 
 `` Has he been back?'' 
 
 `` Not yet, but that was only two weeks ago.'' 
 
 `` That kind of creeps me out, honestly.'' 
 
 *'' Would either of you like dessert? `` * 
 
 `` I hear the tiramisu is great here.'' 
 
 `` A tiramisu to share, please.'' 
 
 *'' Coming right up. `` * 
 
 `` Maybe not as weird as your weird guy, but what do you think about that thing last month?'' 
 
 `` How no one died for 24 hours? Figuring when you'd ask my opinion about that.'' 
 
 `` Like you said, you do n't want to seem too cliche.'' 
 
 `` I consider it a valid topic of conversation. I mean, it's huge, never happened before in the world, who knows if it'll happen again.'' 
 
 `` All I know is that it seems like the Reaper took a holiday...'' 
 
 `` Or maybe someone else had to take over! Like he decided to quit and so Hades had to find someone new...''
