[ WP ] `` Witch hunts are rarely ever about witches . ''

Witch hunts are rarely about witches, 
 
 but bitches. 
 
 Bitch said no? 
 
 Give it a go -- 
 
 `` She turned my gold to rats,'' you could say, 
 
 `` Or I ca n't sleep at night -- it's as if it is day, 
 
 she keeps me awake with her spells and her potions, 
 
 and gives me bad dreams if I'm not constant in motion. 
 
 I've been walking four days trying to keep in the fear, 
 
 and I've walked almost everywhere -- now I'm finally here. 
 
 Oh please, judge, please, hear my plea. 
 
 The bitch has got to go, ca n't you see?'' 
 
 If a bitch makes another bitch jealous, 
 
 Do n't be overzealous. 
 
 You do n't need to go out and kill her yourself. 
 
 You can simply accuse her of of being an elf. 
 
 `` My god, my stars, she's out of control, 
 
 I was minding my business eating soup when my bowl 
 
 disappeared without warning -- soup splashed everywhere. 
 
 I would show you the burn, but it's beneath my underwear. 
 
 I would show you but I'm not a slut such as she, 
 
 The bitch has got to go -- throw her into the sea.'' 
 
 If a bitch proves you wrong in front of all of your friends, 
 
 Do n't stress out, just twist your boots into bends. 
 
 `` Judge, oh Judge! Please listen to me. 
 
 This witch has upset me to the highest degree. 
 
 For no reason she has cast a spell on my boot. 
 
 They are all bent up and covered with soot. 
 
 I fear she is beginning a spell awful mighty, 
 
 That she'll maim me into something horrible and unsightly. 
 
 Oh please, judge, please, hear my plea. 
 
 The bitch has got to go, we can burn her with the trees''.
