[ WP ] You call to order pizza , but unknowingly call a hit man

Sam took another hit from his three-foot tall bong, aptly named Kong, and noticed himself falling a little bit deeper into the couch. After blowing out the smoke, he heaved a satisfying sigh. It was a long day at work and he needed to shake off the stress. 
 
 Cannabis seemed to do the trick! 
 
 Suddenly hearing a faint growling, Sam sprang up in a paranoid panic, but was relieved to find the noise was coming from his stomach. After chuckling to himself, he realized the noise meant he was hungry. He debated whether or not he should get off the couch, and decided he was paralyzed where he sat for the time being. 
 
'Think, Sam, think,' he thought to himself,'How can I get food into my stomach without moving the lower half of my body?' 
 
 Looking around him, he saw that his phone was football fields away on the kitchen counter. 
 
'Shit. That wo n't work,' he groaned. 
 
 Checking the side table next to him, he spotted his old land-line phone and a phone book, both collecting dust behind a months-old newspaper and a filled fishbowl sans the Betta he forgot to buy. Reaching over, he grabbed the phone book and opened it up. 
 
 After forgetting how a phone book worked, he finally remembered, but then forgot what he was doing with the phone book in the first place. Hi stomach growled again. 
 
'Oh yeah, I'm hungry.' 
 
 The first pizza joint that popped into his head was Papa Johns. After what seemed like an eternity and lots of squinting, he found what he was looking for. Blowing the dust off his cordless land-line, he dialed the phone number. 
 
 `` Papa John. What can I do for ya?'' a gruff Boston accent asked 
 
 `` Yes, hello. I would like a pepperoni pizza, hold the pepperoni.'' 
 
 Sam covered his mouth and snickered like a little schoolgirl.'What a hilarious joke,' he thought. Little did Sam know that he called Papa John Pest Removal, and making food was not one of his services. A'pepperoni pizza, hold the pepperoni' was his secret code for carrying out a hit. 
 
 `` You got it, boss. Where can I meetcha?'' 
 
 Sam was disappointed he did n't get a reaction from his joke. `` Uh, I'm at 37 Willow St.'' 
 
 `` Be there in 15.'' 
 
 Sam heard a click.'He did n't even tell me how much my order was,' he thought,'Oh well.' 
 
 Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at the door, awaking Sam from the weed nap he immediately took following the call. Managing to remember he ordered pizza, he slid off the couch and grabbed his wallet from the coffee table. 
 
 He opened the door to see a short yet incredibly stocky man; he had a wool hat covering a bald head, a cigarette in his ear, and no pizza. 
 
 `` You gon na let me in or what, kid?'' Papa John snapped. 
 
 `` Uhh, dude where's my pizza?'' Sam replied. 
 
 Papa John stared at him in silence for several seconds, then rolled his eyes. 
 
 `` GODAMMIT,'' he yelled, and slammed the door in Sam's face. 
 
 Papa John stormed down the driveway.'I got ta change my fuckin' secret code,' he thought,'That's the fifth goddamn stoner this month!' 
 
 Meanwhile, Sam stood inside his doorway staring blankly and trying to register what had happened. Suddenly, his stomach growled. 
 
 `` Oh yeah, I'm hungry.'' 
 
 
 

