[ WP ] A bard in a tavern has to explain to a crowd why they should n't beat the everloving shit out of him/her

`` Wait, just wait for a second, will you?'' cried the exasperated bard. Rick took the last drink of his ale and wiped the foam off his lip as he nervously eyed the crowd pressed around him. Opening nights were usually rowdy for new taverns as clientele are widely mixed, the poverty stricken rubbing elbows with the rich gentry. The tavern was right in the center of town, and its regulars were yet to be established. The thing was these people seemed downright murderous. The crowd was so large that waitresses were swamped, and the bouncers were nowhere to be seen. 
'' I got a special song I'm going to play tonight, in honor of tonight's grand opening at The Crimson Lips,'' said Rick as bottles flew past his head and produce missiles honed in on their target. `` Whys my mutton cold, where's my mead, Hey stop pushing!'' groaned the audience. The night was off to a bad start already, I had to do something quick before all chaos breaks loose. As I put on my sunglasses and check my magnificent fiery red hair, I clear my throat loudly and a hush falls suddenly. Every beady eyeball in the place turns toward me as I start to dance, waving my arms erratically, a smile on my face. `` I really hope this works,'' I think as I begin to sing my song. `` Ooh ooh. We're no strangers to love, you know the rules and so do I. A full commitment's what I'm thinking of, you would n't get this from any other guy.'' `` Its really working,'' I mutter to myself incredulously. `` I just wan na tell you how I'm feeling. Got ta make you understand. Never gon na give you up, never gon na let you down, never gon na run around and desert you. Never gon na make you cry, never gon na say goodbye, never gon na tell a lie and hurt you...'' 

