What if the NSA was real ?

Santa sat at his desk, candy cane chair nearly overpowered by his mass. Taking his North Pole patented toy mouse in hand, he maneuvered his cursor over to a folder entitled NON. He double clicked on his pride and joy, the mechanism by which he monitored all of the human race 24/7. 
 
 A window popped up, a program ran. Cheerful elven music played in the background as the words Naughty or Nice: Monitoring System flashed across the brilliantly lit screen. 
 
 Santa let go of the mouse. This program, this NON, was not subject to human or technological limitations. NON ran on love and hope, on charity and goodwill. So Santa sang. And the Elven background music joined in. 
 
 It was a cheerful song. But sometimes things cheerful and happy on the surface are ominous at the core. 
 
 *Ho, ho, ho! Merry Tuesday! * 
 
 *Santa's Back! Time to play! * 
 
 *Are the people naughty or nice? * 
 
 *Naughty naughty naughty. Thrice! * 
 
 *Ho, ho, ho, coal and torture for them. * 
 
 *Excellent plan. Come look at this gem! * 
 
 An image flashed across the screen, a secret deal. A dictator in the Middle East and a terrorist in teal. 
 
 *This fool thinks his secrets are safe? * 
 
 *Shall we tear him apart til' organs chafe? * 
 
 *Yes, but do more. Get a list of his accomplices, and check it twice. * 
 
 *We'll check the list twice, feed his accomplices to our little toy mice. * 
 
 The mouse reared its head, it was passive no more. Fangs reflected the light, ready to bore. 
 
 *I want more* Santa said. *We must punish the wicked. * 
 
 
 Members of Occupy wall street came into view as the tune shifted. 
 
 *Anti-consumerism is evil. It's anti-Christmas! * 
 
 *They're against you. As we will bear witness. * 
 
 *Then bear witness to this. Their families dead. Their skulls broken, their necks on by a thread. * 
 
 *It will be as you say, as it always has been. You will crush all those that sin. * 
 
 The mouse bit down, and candy cane went flying. 
 
 An innocent child was in the process of dying. 
 
 *This can not be. Who does this I say? * 
 
 *Why Santa, it's done by the NSA! * 
 
 *The NSA? They encroach on my turf? Go ahead and turn them all into Smurfs. * 
 
 *Operation Killstorm it is. We'll do as you ask. Turn them into smurfs, lock them in a cask. * 
 
 *Set them free on the ocean, no food and supplies. Watch as the hunger grows in their eyes. * 
 
 *And when they can stand it no more, give them a knife. After suffering, the sinful end their strife. * 

