[ WP ] Driven by an insatiable lust for gold , a Dragon attacks the ultimate horde : Fort Knox

`` Rooaaarrrrr'' 
 
 `` Oh God not this again... Hey, knock it off out there!! Go home flappy we do n't want you here! ” 
 
 `` Rooaaarrrr, roaarrrrrr'' 
 
 `` Do you mind? THIS IS A QUIET ZONE YA'KNOW! Keep it down, we both know what happens in this scenario! And yeah, my eyebrows have grown back now but that was a LONG 4 months of strangers looking at me like some weirdo, something you would know all about you scaly fuck! I think my featureless face and guard uniform gave them some strange ideas about me but lets just say I did n't enjoy my walk to work! It took us weeks to re-do the tiles that you stomped all over, and we got some expensive Italian shit in too now so don ’ t jump around so much this time ” 
 
 `` Roaaaarrrr'' 
 
 `` What I'm trying to say to you is that I do n't want things to get heated like last time! Now would ya just leave us in peace... I do n't know if you can read the signs but this is FORT FUCKING KNOX, it's not LIKE Fort Knox, it actually IS Fort Knox. The single most impenetrable place on the fucking planet. You ’ re a freakin dragon and you think that Fort Knox is the best place for you to come and do your big song and dance fire show? Are you trying to win a medal or something? Hey guess what, your dragon buddys are laughin at you pal! 
 
 `` Roaaaarrrrrr'' 
 
 “ Yeah, I said it! They are laughing at you because you're the idiot that thinks Fort Knox is the place to get your gold, while they all roll up to, I dunno, Diddy ’ s mansion or something and it ’ s easy money! He ’ s probably got a whole closet just for his chains! Maybe try Kanye West, he seems to have a thing for gold diggers ahaha am i right Steve? ” … ” Hey STEVE! I SAID KANYE WEST SEEMS TO HAVE A THING FOR GOLD DIGGERS! ….BECAUSE OF THE SONG…uhhh was it, uhh JAMIE FOXX IT WAS JAMIE FOXX ” … ” Yeah anyway Steve doesn ’ t need you here and neither do I so go start a fire in the woods or whatever the fuck you guys do for fun ” 
 
 “ Roaaaarrr ” 
 
 “ I dunno, i think he ’ s got something to do with Ciroc vodka so he ’ s definitely got some serious coin! But I haven ’ t got time to talk about that. The thing is….Look, I get it. Fort Knox is the ultimate challenge right? It ’ s number one on the hit list because so many dragons have tried right? But there ’ s a reason this place still stands today man! It ’ s cus they all failed! No dragon is getting near the goods in here! Ever since we started bringing in the Queen ’ s collection, we got some real nice security money too! Round the clock surveillance from the royal guard, and they don ’ t have to wear those stupid fucking hats here neither! Tim over there couldn ’ t scratch an itch for a decade rooted like a cardboard cutout to the ground with a badger on his head while tourists photographed the soul drifting from his eyes. Do you know what that does to man? Do you want to feel Tim ’ s wrath? No, none of us do. Well now he ’ s badger free, and would like nothing more than to take out some stress on you with that anti-dragon canon those Lockheed guys installed a month ago. Trust me, you don ’ t want to see what that thing can do. We tested it on some pigeons a couple months ago and lets just say we were eating game pie for weeks after ” … ” HEY STEVE, HOW MANY WEEKS WERE WE EATING GAME PIE?! ” … ” Yeah 3 weeks of it, and you would last a lot longer, that ’ s for sure. Especially now we got a new ice room installed. Apparently you can keep shit for ages in there! ” 
 
 “ Rooaaarrr ” 
 
 “ THAT ’ S RIGHT, AND DON ’ T COME BACK! THIS IS FORT FUCKING KNOX BABY!! YOU GOT NO SHOT HERE! ”
