[ WP ] `` Friends ? Hah ! Like I have a need for trash like you , '' he said , as he struggled to hold back his tears .

`` Friends?! Hah! Like I have a need for trash like you!'' 
 
 David's eyes welled as he glanced over the hulking mass before him, tired and aged from years of living on the street. 
 
 `` What?! Not even gon na say anything! Gee, that's so goddamn typical of you!'' 
 
 The trembling voice of the lonely man barely broke through the silence in the little speck of concrete alongside the black street. He waited, hoping desperately to hear a response from whom he called a friend. 
 
 `` Look, come on. I did n't mean that- OH WAIT, I DID! Ahahahaha!'' 
 
 Once more, that man was met with silence. Only now, he knew just as well that he'd never receive a response from his little follower, just another pile of garbage in his lonely, pathetic excuse of an existence. 
 
 He waited and waited, hoping for a word, a response to validate him. Just a simple, `` What?'' would've sufficed for pathetic, pathetic David. Though the little man of iron refused to give him that pleasure, that sense of righteousness. 
 
 David's eyes grew redder and wetter. 
 
 `` What the fuck are... Answer me! Answer me, goddamn you! What kind of trash does n't respond to his betters?!'' 
 
 And thus, David wept. 
 
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 `` Mother! Mother! What's that strange homeless-man doing over there?!'' 
 
 `` Oh, that's just Old Man David talking to one of his trash-cans again. I swear, we need to call the police on that strange, queer fellow one day... On the other hand, I just bought this gun and I've been itching to test-fire it.'' 
 
 `` Mother, will I grow up to be just like Old Man David?'' 
 
 `` If you keep asking stupid questions and snorting your dad's LSD, then of course, Jimmy! You can do anything your heart desires! Even talk to literal trash cans!'' 
 
 `` Yay! Did you hear that, Old Man David?! I'm gon na be just like you one day!'' 
 
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 Crazy Old David turned around with bloodshot eyes, arms clasped in a tight embrace around his giant, green garbage can as he dug his hands around its hole for his mid-afternoon snack. 
 
 `` STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU FOUL-FACED PENGUIN-LOVER! I'VE GOT NAZI POLAR BEARS WORKING LOW-KEY IN ANTARCTICA, AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO LAUNCH A ORANGE-BEAKED HOLOCAUST ON YOUR ASSES!'' 
 
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 `` Is n't he funny, mother?'' 
 
 `` Yes, yes. Now, shut up and eat your butterscotch lolly, Mommy needs to go bust a cap up David's ass.''
