[ WP ] You 're a failed author , who gets brought back from the dead a billion years in the future by aliens who have found your shitty book , which just so happens to be the last remnant of humanity . They loved it ; bringing you back to life to write more novels .

`` Oh man'' I tell the Aliens `` It's crazy how you brought me back to life! How does that work?'' 
 
 `` We found you buried in some ice with your shitty novel. We suspect it was your home world but you were the last remnant of humanity so it's hard to know.'' 
 
 I nod knowingly to the Aliens. 
 
 `` We were n't going to bother reanimating you to be honest. It's a bit of a faff. But when we read your shitty novel we were all *dying* to meet you.'' 
 
 `` Really?!'' I exclaim `` You liked'Ass Bandits 2? The Re-assening'?'' 
 
 `` Loved it'' 
 
 `` Wow I'm surprised! Like half of the book is inside references to'Ass Bandits 1. The Assening''' I exclaim `` That did n't put you off?'' 
 
 `` You know, we thought you might think that. But that's part of its charm. We do n't know why Harley Davidson Ass Jr does n't like courgettes and frankly *we do n't wan na know! *'' The Alien high fives his friend and hoots and hollers can be heard inside the space ships main atrium where events are presiding. 
 
 `` Hahaha that is so true.'' I can tell I'm going to get on with these Aliens just fine. They'll probably get me to write some more shitty books! This will probably be what is about! In fact this might just be the very start of my next shitty book... you tell me reader... is it? 
 
 THE END
