[ WP ] You are secretly a super hero working a desk job . You are terrible at suppressing your powers in the office .

I am Adam, prince of Eternia and defender of the secrets of Castle Greyskull. 
 This is Cringer, my fearless friend. Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said, “ By the power of Greyskull! I have the power! “ Cringer became the mighty Battle Cat, and I became He-Man, the most powerful man in the universe! I now work at a office supply retailer in Slough. 
 
 After I vanquished the terror of the evil tyrant Skeletor, there was a political referendum in Eternia and the monarchy was disestablished in place of a democratic government meaning I needed to find work elsewhere. My skills outside the realm of fighting evil doers is limited, but I found my vocation in credit control. 
 
 As much as I love my job, there are certain qualms I have met within my adventures in world of office supply retail. On my first day Cringer bit Gary in accounting causing severe lacerations to his lower body. I explained to my manager that he was my mighty Battle Cat but alas, Cringer was put down the next day. It was not taken to tribunal. 
 
 Additionally, I was unaware of the strict uniform restrictions. My revealing, leather battle armour was not considered appropriate work place attire. Despite trying to wear an appropriate suit, I am unable to tie a knot in a necktie and will commonly forget to put on any clothes at all. By some incident, due to my attire, I was mistaken for a raging homosexual. This made Gary very uncomfortable. 
 
 Of course, I try my hardest on a daily basis to follow up all our clients on outstanding debts. Thought my use of email and telephone communication is limited, I will often raise my magical sword in the air and shout `` By the power of Grayskull, I have the power ( to meet quotas and follow up all outstanding debts )!''. My manager has given me several warnings on distracting behavior in the workplace. I continue to use the sword to this day. 
 
 My manager is currently reassessing my place here at Slough Office Supply Retail Ltd. and, at this time, I am dealing with a sexual harassment case after trying to show her my magic glowing sword. 
 
 TL; DR: BY THE POWER OF OFFICE SUPPLY RETAIL, I HAVE THE POWER!
