[ WP ] You run an orphanage for children that are human ... mostly .

( WIP ) 
 
 `` Even *I've* seen this episode, and I hate this show'' Lester said. He was thoroughly entrenched in his spot on the couch, leaning back with a can of tomato soup in his hand. 
 
 `` Oh, shut up, it's a good episode. We always watch what you wan na watch.'' Frank was sitting up in his bowl, wiggling every now and then to sit up a bit higher. He was only about a foot and a half tall, resembling a large worm with human eyes. His slick, slimy skin made it hard for him to sit up and watch the TV. 
 
 `` We *never* watch what I wan na watch. Let's watch cartoons, or Nat Geo, or literally anything but home improvement shows. Let's watch Animal Planet!'' 
 
 Dandy piped up from his workbench from across the room, `` You know he wo n't watch Animal Planet. Too real for him.'' He had been bent over his work for hours without a peep. 
 
 `` Well it does n't bother *me*.'' Lester took a long slurp and sighed with satisfaction. His blue fur was matted around his waist, and elsewhere he had a greasy sheen. His eyelids looked purple and he stared dimly at the TV. `` Who even has the remote? Frank does n't even have arms, how the hell is it always on what he want's to watch?'' 
 
 `` It's not, it's on what *I* want to watch. Frank just does n't complain. Besides, it helps me think.'' 
 
 `` Yeah, well I'm tired of the same stuff. All the time, it's equity this, and resale value that. Why ca n't we watch what we want sometimes? You know how boring it is to be your prisoner?'' 
 
 `` You can leave whenever you want'' Dandy proposed, with his head still in his work. Lester twitched, and backed down. 
 
 `` Very funny. It's your fault we're even like this. You expect me to go outside looking like this?'' He gestured at his own body. He was seven feet tall, with very long legs that bent the wrong way at the knee. His torso was small but rotund, and his entire body was covered in blue fur. `` And what about Frank? He ca n't even get around''. 
 
 `` Oh I do n't mind'' Frank chimed in quietly. 
 
 `` We've been over this. I'm not even sure my experiments had anything to do with you guys.... changing. But I'm trying to help anyways. And right now, I'm bitching with you instead of coming up with a cure. Besides, your parents are probably worried sick''. 
 
 ``'A cure' ``, lester said, using the two of the three fingers on each of his hands to make giant air quotes. `` This is n't influenza Dandy. We fucking mutated''. 
 
 `` Language!'' Dandy interjected. 
 
 `` Ca n't swear, ca n't go outside, ca n't watch good tv. My life. is... *over*''. He leaned back again. Frank slid himself up in his bowl as the show played its return-from-commercial jingle. 
 
 `` *Next, Terry and Joseph make a terrible discovery*'' 
 
 `` What is Termites under the floorboards.'' Lester dripped with sarcastic enthusiasm. 
 
 `` *Termites. Under the floorboards. *''
