[ WP ] Everytime someone has a 'blonde moment ' they get a little blonder . Black hair is now a symbol of brilliance , and you 've just invented hair dye .

I'm surrounded by imbeciles. 
 
 It's easy to tell. Every time you make a mistake, an error in judgement, your hair turns a shade lighter. By adulthood, nearly everyone is bleach blonde. I'm one of the few people with dark hair. The 1 %. The `` Ultra Elite''. 
 
 If you make it to 20 with dark hair you are practically assigned a government agency to run. I've had people run up to me on the street, begging me to run their multi-billion dollar company. Who needs a resume, or even an interview, when the top of your head tells you everything you need to know? 
 
 During another all-nighter in my lab, trying to solve global warming, I had an epiphany. A way to dye your hair. Can you imagine? A way to change everyone's perception about you. To change your life in an instant. 
 
 It was so simple! Bleach! If you splash on a black shirt it turns lighter, so of course it would work on hair! 
 
 I can finally blend in with the crowd. I can finally rest.
