[ WP ] He is the Chosen One . Braver than a lion . Mightier than the storm . Dumber than a 5-year old .

`` I AM THE DREADED STAR KING, DESTROYER OF WORLDS, BANE OF GALAXIES, AND SCOURGE OF ALL MANKIND. BOW BEFORE ME!'' 
 
 `` Hi! I'm Tommy! I'm thirty-four years old and I work in a bakery with my mom!'' 
 
 `` WHAt...?'' 
 
 `` Yesterday I put frosting on a cupcake so it looked like an elephant!'' 
 
 `` We are on my flagship hovering over your planet- my hoard is currently wreaking havoc on your entire species, your entire society will be ashes by daybreak... how did you even get up here?'' 
 
 `` Well, there was this really weird looking dude that came into our bakery and he tried taking a cupcake without paying for it and mommy says that's a crime so I punched him and he fell down and then I went outside and he had a weird car and it took me up here and then I met another weird looking guy and he tried to jump on me probably to take my cupcake so I kicked him and then...'' 
 
 `` ENOUGH! I-I just, ugh the incompetence of my minions will be delt with later- for now I will have to destroy you myself.'' 
 
 `` Here! Have this cupcake!'' 
 
 `` What? Do you understand anything I am saying?'' 
 
 `` This one has a smiley face on it!'' 
 
 `` THAT- That is actually adorable... And delicious! HUMAN- Tommy- YOU PRESENT A COMPELLING ARGUMENT FOR YOUR SPECIES. For now, I will withdraw. You have saved your species, brave warrior. Farewell.'' 
 
 `` Tomorrow mommy said I could draw on the sidewalk with chalk!'' 

