[ WP ] You have reincarnated in world where there are heroes , dragons and demons and you are villager number 231 .

My eyes open. I ’ m not dead. 
 
 `` Welcome back,'' a soothing voice announces. I sit up and look around. 
 
 I'm wearing a white gown. I'm in a white room on a white bed. 
 
 `` What the hell?'' I say sitting up. I look around expecting to see the woman whose voice I'm hearing. `` Is this heaven or the hospital?'' 
 
 `` The staff of Purgatorium wishes you a brief but comfortable stay,'' she continues. 
 The sound is clearly coming from a loudspeaker in the ceiling. Guess that answers that. 
 
 `` Please review the assignment card on the table at your earliest convenience. Once you are ready, please proceed down the hall for processing and reintegration—'' 
 
 Not heaven. Crap, did I seriously pick the wrong freaking religion for the eighth time?!?! 
 
 `` After receiving your next assignment and upon completion of your paperwork you will be transferred immediately from Purgatorium to your new life on Earth. Flourish and thrive in the next!'' 
 
 I pinch myself multiple times. Not a dream either. I stand up, stretch my arms and take a deep breath. Body is in pretty good shape this time around! Not bad, not bad at all. 
 
 The door from my room opens into a large white hallway with ridiculously high ceilings. The hallway opens up into a huge hall bustling with voices. Others in white gowns walk past me. Sprinkled among us white-gowned-folk are well groomed individuals wearing dark business suits and sunglasses. 
 
 As I enter the large hall, I see signs pointing to various lines. There are dozens of counters manned the dark suits and white gowned people in queues everywhere. 
 
 A familiar woman's voice sounds over the loudspeaker, `` Welcome to Purgatorium. If you have just arrived in the Great Hall, please proceed to the nearest self-service kiosk to pick up your new life assignment. The kiosks can be found throughout the Hall. All other inquiries can be directed to the service agents. Flourish and thrive in the next!'' 
 
 I shrug and head towards the nearest kiosk. There are a few white gowns ahead of me. 
 
 `` Yessssssssss!!!!'' says the man currently at the kiosk. He fist pumps and starts jumping up and down, `` Dra-GON, Dra-motherfreakin-GON!!!'' He proceeds to high-five each of us in line. He stops at me and looks me in the eyes, `` Buddy, I've been Pharaoh, I've been Czar, I've been a Calvin Klein model, I was even an Orca whale once. But if someone had told me I was gon na be a freaking FIRE-BREATHING dragon, I would ’ ve killed myself ten times straight so I could jump right to this!'' 
 
 `` May you flourish and thri—'' I start. 
 
 `` Listen,'' he grabs me by the shoulders, `` I apologize. Right here, right now. I apologize. If I end up burning you or someone you love to a crisp, I'm am so, so sorry. I just play the role they give me friend. All-powerful fire dragon! Flourish and thrive right back at ya, Champ!'' 
 
 And with a wink and a thumbs up, he heads off. 
 
 The next lady is n't thrilled. I hear someone mumble `` Plague Demon'' or something. I'm not sure what that is, but it doesn ’ t sound too bad. 
 
 Now it's my turn. I saunter up to the kiosk. My hands are sweaty but I'm feeling good. I push the big green button and mumble `` hit me''. The kiosk whirrs and percolates for a moment and then dispenses a small yellow card. I hold my breath and look at the card. 
 
 ASSIGNMENT: VILLAGER # 231 
 
 Huh? I look back at the kiosk thinking there must be some mistake. I was told that I was overdue for a cool assignment what with all the previous lives I ’ d been dealt. 
 
 I push the green button again. This time the machine returns a loud and hostile buzz. I push it a third time. More buzzing now accompanied by blinking red lights. 
 
 The lady behind me huffs, `` Excuse me? Could you hurry things along up there? We ’ ve got lives to get back to.'' 
 
 I wave her forward and look for the nearest service agent. A large, dark-suited man stands at ease nearby. I approach him. 
 
 `` Excuse me, Mr. Agent?'' I look at his badge. `` Purgatory Agent 1071 is it? I wonder if you could help me. There must be some mistake.'' 
 
 I hold up my card. He takes it, inspects it briefly and hands it back. He speaks in a dull monotone. `` You want line 43A. That ’ s the really long one over there. That's for peasants, plebes, villagers and the destitute. Straight ahead. Don ’ t get in 43B, they ’ ll add on the black plague if you go there.'' 
 
 A skinny fellow had sidles up next to me and nods. `` Hi Agent'', he interrupts, `` Lines 1 and 2 are shorter than the others. Can I stand in one of those?'' 
 
 The Agent frowns. `` Those are VIP lines.'' He looks at the skinny man's card. `` You are n't a VIP.'' 
 
 The Agent turns to me. `` Neither are you.'' 
 
 `` Excuse me,'' I say to the interrupting newcomer, `` I ’ m almost finished here.'' I grimace and hold my card back up to Agent 1071. `` So back to my problem. Surely this ca n't be right?'' 
 
 Agent 1071 takes the card and examines it once more. `` The card is authentic. See here? Holographic watermark. You ca n't forge that. Good day Villager 231. Flourish and thrive in the next!'' 
 
 The skinny fellow smiles and puts his arm around me, `` Hey what a coincidence! I'm Villager 232! Is n't this exciting? I think there's a good chance we might be best friends or maybe even brothers in the next!'' 
 
 I sigh, remove his arm and cross mine. `` Agent, I need speak to a manager now.''
