[ WP ] An ancient evil awakens to destroy humanity , only to find out he is no match for modern technology , thus forcing him to become a functioning member of society .

* [ Nine P.M. Wendy's. It's intermittently populated with people, and behind the counter sits a man with horns and dark-red skin, dressed up in a Wendy's Uniform. His nametag says “ RAGNORAK, DESTROYER OF WORLDS ” and he's talking to ARNOLD, a three-hundred pound man, who speaks with a very slow, dull voice. ] * 
 
 **Ragnorak: ** You will rue the day you were born. You will rue it. 
 
 * [ Arnold, a man so fat he does n't bother picking up his chin, stared at Ragnorak with a dull expression. ] * 
 
 **Arnold: **... uh... I'll have the curly fries. 
 
 **Ragnorak: ** We do n't have curly fries. I will not tell you again. Order something else. 
 
 **Arnold: ** Uh... let me see. Uhm….do you have fries? 
 
 **Ragnorak: ** Yes, Earthling! We have fries! The naturally-cut fries. Would you like it in small, large, or – 
 
 **Arnold: ** Yeah, no. I do n't want the fries. 
 
 * [ Ragnorak sighs, rubs his temple. ] * 
 
 **Ragnorak: ** Okay, mortal. What would you prefer instead? The hot irons of hell? 
 
 **Arnold: ** No. Spicy food gives me gas... I uh... do you have curly fries? I would like the curly fries. 
 
 * [ Ragnorak stares at Arnold. ] * 
 
 **Ragnorak: ** On doomsday, I will be sure to look for you. You will suffer a fate worse than death... maggots will fester inside your skin. Thousands of them, eating you, inside and out, and they will feast for years until you are nothing but an overly greasy skeleton. Mark my words. 
 
 * [ A black-shirted manager, Brady, comes up behind Ragnorak and slaps him on the ass. ] * 
 
 **Brady: ** Ay, Rag. How ya doin'? Everything good up here? 
 
 **Arnold: ** The guy said I have a greasy skeleton. 
 
 * [ Brady looks at Ragnorak with shock. ] * 
 
 **Brady: ** Is that true, Rag? 
 
 * [ Ragnorak pauses, fear in his eyes. ] * 
 
 **Ragnorak: ** *Whhaat? * Never once did I mention his skeleton being anything other than weak and extremely malleable, like the rest of you mortals. Except for you, Brady. Your skeleton is... much stronger and - 
 
 **Brady: ** The customer never lies, Rag. Did you or did n't you say he has a greasy skeleton? 
 
 **Ragnorak: ** I – well... yes, I did indeed. But - 
 
 **Brady: ** Forget it, I do n't want to hear it. This customer - 
 
 * [ Brady points at Arnold. ] * 
 
 **Brady: ** - is beautiful and perfect. His skeleton has only *top-notch* calcium. The only thing that's greasy and fat is his wallet. 
 
 **Arnold: ** He wo n't give me curly fries. 
 
 **Brady: ** Sir, I'll help you with that. Rag will go into the back himself to manually twist those fries. It's the least we can do. 
 
 **Ragnorak: ** But... Lord Brady! Have mercy! 
 
 **Brady: ** Do you want me to dock your pay, Rag? Is that it? 
 
 **Ragnorak: ** Dock my pay... you mean less of those paper men? 
 
 **Brady: ** Mhm. Way less paper men. 
 
 **Ragnorak: ** No, no. Never. I exchange those paper men for butter. With enough time, I can crash the butter market and bring the world to heel. 
 
 **Brady: ** Uh huh, sure, wack-o. How about... if you do n't want your pay to get docked, you *butter* shut up and go curl some fries. Capische? 
 
 * [ Ragnorak sighs. ] * 
 
 **Ragnorak: ** Very well. 
 
 * [ Ragnorak walks away, muttering under his breathe about “ the world ending in fire ” and “ the death of billions. ” ] *
