[ WP ] A Gamer and the character the gamer controls is having a conversation .

For the fifteenth time, Nina was trying to get an achievement. As achievements go, it wasn ’ t that much to brag about. Exploration achievement. Not how many people or things you ’ ve killed, not how skilled you are with a bow, blade or staff. Finding places. 
 
 This was fairly silly because it involved jumping and she was not good at jumping. Had she wanted to jump she ’ d be getting an achievement in a platform game. This was an RPG. She supposed she just had to roleplay being a shitty jumper. 
 
 She gritted her teeth and resolved to try to jump up the complicated side of some stupid obstacle with some stupid thing at the top. If she could just kill it, it would be fine, but noooo, she has to show some level of coordination. If she was coordinated or so motivated, she could just go climb an actual mountain. Wasn ’ t this supposed to be fun? 
 
 Facing the seemingly sheer surface of a cliff, she knew it was up there. The quest said so. The YouTube walkthroughs said so. Why in hell would… 
 
 Her Avatar on the screen started to turn and she cursed under her breath one more time at the crappy interface controls and then stopped. Through the speakers came some dialogue she didn ’ t know. She should know everything in this game…but…what? What kind of bug was this? The subtitles were gone too, what the hell? 
 
 “ I SAID… ” a voice sarcastically bit through her mental complaints “ What in the name of Krelnam are you making me do? ” 
 
 Nina spent a minute or so in rapt attention. Was this an Easter Egg? She wondered what it referred to, some movie she hadn ’ t seen? She had to be up on the trivia. She was about to search for the phrase “ What in the name of Kre… ” when the window skipped back to the game and the face of the avatar was closer. 
 
 Well. This is some break the fourth wall shit here. 
 
 The voice of her protagonist bit through again, a slight snarl on her lips “ Pay some attention to me. Listen. To. Me. ” 
 
 Nina shrugged slightly. “ Okay. I mean, I ’ ve run you ragged for a good long while, shoot. ” 
 
 The violet eyes of the Avatar of Idyll Folly narrowed. Her black-stained leathers creaked as her arms crossed over her chest. “ What do you want from me? ” 
 
 Nina sat back a moment. “ An achievement? ” 
 
 The Avatar sneered a moment. “ An achievement. Lovely. So you want me to break my nose on this cliff? ” Her blue hair spiked and crackled in anger. “ The sun is in my eyes, my feet hurt, and my breasts are bruised from slamming into this cursed thing repeatedly. ” 
 
 Nina winced. “ Oh hell…I ’ m really sorry. Boob bruising is uncalled for. That outfit looks really uncomfortable. ” 
 
 The Avatar was not consoled. “ You dressed me like this. ” 
 
 Nina hedged. “ I did, but only because it had the best stats. Seriously, if I could, I would let you run around in more comfortable and not-so-creaky leather. People seem to think you look hot, but I think it ’ s impractical, entirely. Too many buckles. Must take you hours to get dressed in the morning. ” 
 
 The Avatar tilted her head “ Fortunately I ’ m not animated to dress or undress. They just appear. ” 
 
 Nina whistled. “ That ’ s convenient. Doesn ’ t look like you need a bra. ” 
 
 The Avatar looked down and back up “ Haven ’ t thought about it until they started getting bruised. It ’ s also scraping the leather. ” 
 
 Nina nodded in sympathy. “ Look, I ’ m sorry. I didn ’ t realize you were sentient. You should have told me sooner. I would entirely let you head back to the tavern, get drunk and probably try your shot at picking up that hot bartender. ” 
 
 The Avatar considered for a moment, then scraped the tip of her boot through the soil at her feet. “ Do you mind if I go for the waitress instead? I think she was into the leather thing. I might just keep them for her. ” 
 
 Nina nodded. “ Entirely. Climb her instead of the wall. I ’ ll consider it an achievement off the books. I ’ ll leave this one un-done and you can do…that ’ s not going anywhere respectful. ” 
 
 The Avatar laughed. “ Look, you seem a fairly decent sort of person except for the fact that you are thoroughly incompetent. ” 
 
 Nina twisted her lips slightly “ True. I ’ m sorry you ’ re stuck with me, but I can make it up to you. I ’ ll just leave the game running and you can go do whatever the…Krelnam you want to do. ” 
 
 The Avatar looked comically hopeful. She wasn ’ t programmed for hope either, Nina thought. So sad. 
 
 The Avatar ’ s lips almost trembled. “ I would appreciate that. Not being, then being, then not being before and then being later is very strange. ” 
 
 Nina nodded solemnly “ I save and restore a lot. It ’ s not fair to the time line. ” 
 
 The Avatar had clearly no idea what she was talking about, but wanted to not piss off the child God with the strange…everything. “ As you say. I need a bath and some sleep and I know where to get it. I ’ ll retire to the tavern and let my breasts heal up a mite before attempting the waitress quest. ” 
 
 Nina agreed solemnly to the plan. “ Look, I know some cheats and codes, I can get you a bunch of gold. Go wild. ” 
 
 The Avatar took the promise at face value. What else could she do if child God was in such a giving mood. “ One request. ” 
 
 Nina attended “ Yes? ” 
 
 The Avatar said suspiciously “ When I attempt waitress quest, could you be elsewhere? ” 
 
 Nina reassured her immediately “ Oh, absolutely, I promise. Volume down, too. ” 
 
 The Avatar looked reassured. “ Excellent. When I am…better able to be gracious, we can speak again. ” 
 
 Nina smiled and really hoped that her computer didn ’ t crash any time soon, for her Avatar ’ s sake. “ You got it. I promise I ’ ll knock before barging in on you. I wish you more comfortable clothes and a more comfortable life and a happy ending, things you were not going to get from me. ” 
 
 The Avatar turned and walked the long road back to the Tavern. 
 
 Nina minimized the window and thought for the thousandth time that gaming took her weird places and went to go get a sandwich. 

