[ WP ] You are at your first job interview ever in a well-known company . You sit at the interviewer 's desk and the first question you are asked is `` Would you kill a man if we asked you to ? ''


 “ Would you kill a man if we asked you to? ” 
 
 “ I ’ m sorry, what? ” 
 
 “ Would you kill a man if we asked you to. ” 
 
 “ Is this Jones-Wayright? ” In response, one of them turned around to the wall behind them, where the answer to my question was plastered loud and clear. I looked at the two of them in confusion, then down at my wrist watch. Sure enough, it was eleven-thirty, my scheduled time for the job interview. 
 
 “ Answer the question. ” 
 
 The appropriate response here is for me to say no. Of course I would never kill a man! But sometimes, life is boring, so let ’ s play their game until we reach the breaking point. If anything, I could hide somewhere in Bali for the rest of my life. At least that ’ s more exciting than a shitty soul-sucking existence in the cubicle they showed me earlier. 
 
 “ Yes. Who ’ s the lucky man? ” The two men across the table from me looked at each other with smiles. 
 
 “ It ’ s our boss. ” 
 
 “ What ’ d he do, screw your wives? ” It was meant to throw them off, but surprisingly, they roared with laughter. 
 
 I had no idea what was going on, but I continued their game. 
 
 “ Mark, this guy ’ s got some balls... that ’ s none of your concern, kid. We got the money and we get to choose who to hire. We just… changed the job responsibilities around a bit. ” 
 
 “ How much are you paying me? ” I tried to sound confident. 
 
 “ The annual salary you saw in the job description. ” 
 
 “ Double it, ” I say without missing a beat. They whisper in each other ’ s ears, and looked at me impressively. 
 
 “ Sure. But only if you don ’ t make too big of a mess, and you do it within five minutes of him walking into the room. ” 
 
 “ What do you mean? ” The one on the left glanced at his wristwatch. 
 
 “ He ’ s going to walk in when we ask him. Do what you can, but please be tidy about it. We don ’ t like stained carpets. ” One of them pulls out a briefcase, sets it on the table facing me, and opens it to reveal stacks of cash. It easily could have been four times the annual salary in there. 
 
 Holy shit, these guys are serious. Bali is looking nice about now. 
 
 “ Uh, yeah, I can manage. ” 
 
 Several of the longest, sweat-drenched, anxiety-inducing minutes of my life later 
 
 A rotund, balding man walks into the room. He sits at the head of the table. God I hope he doesn ’ t notice my intense shaking. Being nervous during job interviews is never a good thing. 
 
 “ What is Jones-Wayright? ” 
 
 “ Uhhh, a financial c-company, one of the wealthiest, that… duh-deals in private eh-equity. ” They could barely understand. I notice one of them look at their wristwatch and back at me, as if pushing me. My heart is pounding out of my chest, I wonder if they notice the breast of my suit pumping abnormally. 
 
 The boss smiles back at me. “ On the surface, yes. So you ’ re telling me, you have no clue? ” 
 
 “ N-no? ” 
 
 “ We -- ” 
 
 BANG! 
 
 The boss topples backwards in his executive chair with a hole in his forehead. 
 
 “ MARK, WHAT THE FUCK. ” 
 
 “ I was tired of his shit-eating grin. ” He put the revolver back inside his suit jacket. 
 
 “ WE SET UP THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO TEST THIS GUY -- ” 
 
 “ Look at him, he looks like he just seen a ghost for christ ’ s sake. He wasn ’ t gon na do it. ” 
 
 “ Ah, poor kid. What the fuck are we gon na do about him? ” 
 
 I ’ m cowering underneath the chair I sat in before. “ P-please don ’ t kill me, I don ’ t wan na die. I ’ ll move to Bali and pretend I never saw, I swear I -- ” 
 
 “ Shut the fuck up. ” 
 
 “ You know, he ’ s kind of funny. I guess we could keep him around to do our paperwork? ” 
 
 “ Yeah, I guess so. Hey man, come out from there, we ain ’ t gon na kill ya. We keep our promises, you at least helped. This is yours. ” He handed me the briefcase of cash. 
 
 Someone rushes in to see what the commotion was. 
 
 “ Hey bosses, everything alrig -- Christ on a cracker, now why ’ d ya ’ ll have to kill poor ol ’ Buddy. The man had a daughter! ” 
 
 “ I dunno. Something about his face said snitch. Bart, this man is hired as our new accountant. Get him situated. ” 
 
 “ Anything for you, sir, ” he said with a bow. “ Come this way, friend, you will love it here at Jones-Wayright! ” 
 
 I start to walk out with the assistant when one of them called out to me. 
 
 “ Oh, hey kid. We ’ re not a financial company that deals in private equity, but we appreciate your diligent research. However, I promise you ’ re gon na like us, much, much more. Welcome to the Mafia. ” 
 
 As the door to the room closes behind me I could hear the last things they said. 
 
 “ How the fuck are we supposed to find someone to replace Gus, the best hitman we ever had? ” 
 
 “ Fuck if I know. ” 
 
 
 

