[ WP ] Every sentient species in the universe receives a Jesus figure from God . It turns out humanity was the only species to torture and crucify him . You 're an ambassador priest informing the Inter-Galactic Holy Church what your species did .

An old bearded silver-haired man in white flowing robes of linen sits in a chair on a stage next to a younger version of himself. He stares out indifferent. His younger self glares contemptuous daggers into the side of his face. Frustrated, the young man rips off his name tag and throws it to the floor, written on it: `` Hello, my name is JC'' 
 Jerry Springer approaches the old man holding a piece of paper and a microphone, and in his most serious voice says, `` Are you ready for this, God?'' The old man says nothing. Jerry holds up the card and speaks into the microphone, `` You are the father'' JC leaps up out of his chair and screams out to the crowd in vindication, `` Oh what's up?! I told you people! Eat it! I told you people!'' He turns to the old man and his excitement turns to hatred, `` Yeah, eat it dad! You like that? In your face old man! You deadbeat! You're a loser! You're nothing! Where were you man?! Where the hell were you?! When Mom needed you? When they called her a whore and turned her out onto the street? When they spit on me and called me a bum? When they left me to rot on a cross?! When all I tried to do was help people?! Where were you?!?!'' The old man says nothing. JC looks at him and finds a moment of peace, `` You were n't there, you were never there. I was.''
