[ WP ] You have just been told that you are the last human being who will ever have to die .

**OK, Tom. Got some good news and I got some bad news. ** 
 
 Lay it on me, Dr Stephenson. 
 
 **The good news is that exactly 30 years ago, we in science did something amazing, and something we have kept hidden from the world for all this time. And we're going to go public today and we need your help. Because exactly thirty years ago, we cured death. Children born on that day were among the first to receive the immunity. ** 
 
 Wow, I'm gon na live forever? 
 
 **No. See, I said `` among'' the first. We got going on it as soon as possible but of course, we had to make sure all the proper paperwork was signed and whatnot. You missed it by about six seconds. In fact, you popped out and the UN envoy with the dose was like'so close!'** 
 
 So... everybody else born after me...? 
 
 **Oh, do n't worry about them. They're gon na live forever. It's you who wo n't. ** 
 
 But... why? Why me? 
 
 **It had to be someone. Like when they cutoff happy hour at a bar. Someone has to be the first to order after it's over. But I guess it's kind of the reverse now, because everybody who showed up after you is gon na have an eternal happy hour. ** 
 
 Fuck. So why do you need me? 
 
 **The Guinness Book people need your picture and info for the record book. Congratulations! You're the answer to a trivia question! Just like Hitler or Sir Isaac Newton. Or the first person who got the immunity serum** 
 
 Who was that? 
 
 **A really lucky baby, I'll tell you that much. ( laughs long and hard ) I do n't know, some asshole. It should have been you, kid. Hang in there ( playfully slugs shoulder ) ** 
 
 I hate my life. 
 
 **At least it will be over eventually. ** 
 
 Yeah. 
 
 * ( fade to black ) * 
 

