[ Wp ] Tell me the story or Richard the Meh .

“ Rise and shine, Richard, rise and shine, ” a robotic female voice said. 
 
 Richard woke up, covered in several bottles of cheap beer that he acquired from the local Walmart. As he woke up, he noticed that his floor was particularly messy, covered with clothes that he wore from several days back, and used dinner plates that he never bothered cleaning. 
 
 “ Shit, what the fuck happened last night? ” Richard asked, severely hungover. 
 
 “ You did what you usually do, Richard, ” the voice responded, “ you masturbated seven times, drank a lot of booze, and fell asleep. ” 
 
 “ Did my friends come over, too? ” 
 
 “ You don ’ t have any friends, Richard. ” 
 
 “ Shit. ” 
 
 Immediately, Richard laid back down in bed and began masturbating. He needed to be at work, but in a drunken stupor, he called in and quit. 
 
 “ How long do I ’ ve got to get to work? ” Richard asked. 
 
 “ Oh, you won ’ t need to worry about that; you called in last night and told your boss off. Nice move. ” 
 
 “ Meh, ” Richard replied, continuing to masturbate. 
 
 Richard thought about cinnamon chewing gum, as that usually helped him get off. The thought of the cinnamon flavor stimulating his taste buds gave him a strangely erotic feeling that eventually helped him reach a full orgasm, multiple times a day. 
 
 “ Make me some eggs, please, ” Richard asked, demandingly. 
 
 “ I ’ m not that kind of robot. ” 
 
 “ Fuck. ”
