[ WP ] Write a story about an elderly wizard and his young female apprentice .

He just stared at the smoldering crater that had once been Squire Aemon, two boots sat nicely in the crater with steam rising out of them in small plumes. Aemon had always been a fat, cocky little prick with a waistline that threatened to draw the planets into orbit... but he did n't deserve to be vaporized. 
 
 `` What the hell was that?!'' The wizened caster shouted at his apprentice Anya who was staring at the crater with utter disbelief cast on her stony face. 
 
 `` I... I just tried to show him a fire spell...'' She muttered between gasps as the boots turned to ash and blew away in the breeze. 
 
 `` Well you really messed that up, did n't you? What in the name of all things that exist will I tell Ser Branos?! THAT YOU BLEW UP HIS SQUIRE?!'' His anger was boiling over, she was an incompetent little bitch who seemed to think the planets revolved around her when in fact they were being slowly sucked into Aemon's orbit before he... *Oh gods, I'm seriously making fun of the poor little prick in my head already, * thought the wizard, mentally slapping himself. 
 
 `` What else is there to tell him?'' Anya asked somehow defiantly through gritted teeth. The wizard paced back and forth throwing around conversations in his head but they all ended with Ser Branos dissecting him from brains to balls. 
 
 `` You always have an off week every month...'' The wizard started, before being interrupted. 
 
 `` How?! How do *I* have an off week monthly?!'' 
 
 `` Well this time last month you turned the frog into a ballista when I wanted you to translate what it was saying. The month before you tried to cast a spell of infertility on yourself before you went on a date with that baker-boy... You remember that one?'' The wizard smiled wickedly inside as the girl of sixteen looked down at her crotch, sighing heavily at the bulge which she had grown. 
 
 `` Yes, point taken,'' she said kicking dust and avoiding eye contact with the great caster. 
 
 `` It's your hormones, you're growing and your body goes... a little crazy... for a week a month. Surely your mother explained this to you, you said she was going to a few weeks ago?'' 
 
 `` Mother does n't have one of these...'' Muttered the girl, pointing to the bulge. 
 
 `` True... I do n't know how all that will work now if I'm honest. Your hormones mess with the spells, that much is obvious.'' 
 
 `` So this *IS my* fault?'' Anya shrieked suddenly. *Was it the references to her penis or her hormones that had caused this reaction? * The wizard pondered. 
 
 `` Well yes, I did n't blow up the boy,'' he observed acutely, he must tread lightly or he may end up the same. 
 
 `` YOU always blame ME!'' She screamed storming back to the casting tower, and melting the door off the hinges as opposed to simply opening it. The wizard shook his head, stroked his beard and muttered. 
 
 `` I remember being a girl that age... so many hormones.'' 

