[ WP ] I spent my days learning to feel less , until one day I felt nothing at all .

Kindergarten- Smartest kid in school. Best athlete too. Things are great. 
 
 First grade- Still awesome. Everybody loves me. 
 
 Second grade- This life thing's pretty sweet. 
 
 Third grade- Signs go missed. I fill my homeroom teacher's closet with books I read instead of dealing with people. 
 
 Fourth grade- First signs of cliques developing. I do n't understand the change. 
 
 Fifth grade- I lose all my friends. Stop being able to emotionally handle being around people, who I do n't understand. I attempt suicide for the first time. 
 
 Sixth grade- I am alone. This life thing sucks. 
 
 Seventh grade- Second attempted suicide. Then I get sick of being hurt. I turtle up emotionally. Put up walls. Close myself off. 
 
 Eighth grade- The barriers grow stronger. I dig into my memory, block off parts of it. Forget half my past. Somehow manage to use my emotional pain to make myself stop feeling physical pain. Dare one of the biggest kids in school to hit me with a chair in the computer lab. Do n't feel a thing. Get my ass kicked by a guy with 50 pounds on me. Come back the next day and challenge him in class. No rage. Do n't care if I win or lose. The Nike motto gone wrong. 
 
 Everything else- Waiting to die. Do n't seek it out anymore. Or try to live. Just wait. And wait.
