[ WP ] You find out one day that whenever you sneeze , you turn into the opposite gender .

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 `` Nooooooooo! No no no no no nooooooooooo! She's going to be here and I DO N'T HAVE MY MANHOOD ANYMORE!?'' Max screams. He then quickly turns around. His thoughts are running rampant through his mind. 
 
 
 Who said that? Oh wait, yeah, THAT WAS ME! It's kinda hard for me to listen to myself when my voice goes three octaves higher. Are you serious? This can not be the most worst possible friggin goddamn motherf'in time for weird bullshit to happen. Okay, okay. Let's think Max, how and when could this had happen. 
 
 So, let's think. Alright so I sneezed last week so no then. Samantha from HR tore her pepper packet poorly the about two days ago so not since then. Wait why did she even have pepper, she had a salad for lunchNEVERMIND THAT. What about last night at the Halloween party? Wait. Are you kidding me? That's so fucking cliché. Whatever, let's think further cause I ca n't think of any other time. 
 
 Now that I think about it, who woulda thought that crazy uptight company knew how to party. I've been working there for only 3 months and the accounting department invited me to their department party, thanks Robby. I still ca n't believe how fast he saw that I started to like Kim. Then again who does n't. Her sleek black hair, slim but fit legs, the way she accentuates her slightly squinty eyes, and the ways she presents herself God! What a woman. A woman WHO'S GON NA FIND ME AS A WOMAN IF I DO N'T FOCUS. Goddamit Max focus! Alright so I went into the accounting building with Robby cause it was departmental. The place was decked out to the brim with decorations. Everyone was at least wearing something along the lines of devil masks or cat ears or funny masks and all. Everyone was clearly more focused on the booze that night. And how they got that many drinks in the workplace I'll never know. Shit, getting off track. Okay, so I walked in with Robby, we went straight to the drinks, and got wasted immediately.... fuck. Great start to retracing my steps. 
 
 Okay so Robby and I got fucking plastered. Then... then... cmon brain remember. Right! Robby saw, uh, Jessica and ran off to try and score. Right! That asshole left me alone in a completely different department where I knew no one except for Kim, and I've only had small talk with her so no one. Okay, okay. So I was left alone and just stood near the drinks while everyone was mingling. Then a cute woman started to talk to me. It might've been the booze but she was looking pretty hot in that witch outfit. Wait, witch outfit... Goddamit no way. 
 
 We started talking I remember that much. We talked for quite a bit, laughed a little, and then she tried to kiss ME THAT'S RIGHT! That little minx tried to kiss me and somehow my brain overtook my dick and denied her. Yeah... yeah that's right! And when she tried again and actually got tongue in me I pulled her away! Thank you college for teaching me the importance of consent. She looked at me, smiled, and then she started mumbling something. What did she say? Goddamit what did she say!? I think it I heard; something something with please, something something a sneeze. THATS IT. THAT WHORE PROBABLY CURSED ME. 
 
 Did anything else happened after that? That's right! That witch walked away quick probably mad and that's when Kim came up to talk to me. We started to talk about how that was n't cool, consent, blah blah blah, and she asked if we could go out today and I said sure! Okay, so that's how I got a call from Kim confirming our date tonight.... Aw man, I thought I was the one who did the asking. Oh well at least it's happening. But it probably wo n't go well considering I'M A WOMAN RIGHT NOW. And considering how fucking cliché this is and it's been hours since she called, she'll probably be here within seconds. 
 
 *doorbell rings* 
 
 Yup! Goddamit goddamit goddamit! 
 
 
 Max, still as a woman with her D sized breasts slight swaying back and forth, walks to the door at a quick pace. `` Goddamit no wonder bras are an invention!'' Still in his date outfit of a plaid blue polo, slightly loose skinny jeans, and his good boxer briefs. Despite all his clothes now too big for his new smaller defined body, he tries to hold them up as he makes his way to the door. 
 
 `` Okay if I pretend I'm a sibling, then she'll believe me right?'' Max thought as he stood behind the door. He takes a deep breath, looks through the peephole to confirm if it's Kim and it is, swallows hard, and opens the door. 
 
 Max opens the door to find a young Asian woman in a long, fine scarlet woman's overcoat with a black turtleneck underneath. Despite the volume of the coat covering her body, her outline was clearly defined through the thick material. Not to mention that no one could she the bottom half of her outfit, only her long legs in black tights with high heels. Holy fuck, Max thought, if I was a man right now I would have the hardest boner right now. He did, however, feel a slight tingle for a second in his crotch area. 
 
 Max stood in awe for a second. Shit, he thought. `` Uh cmon in!'' He opens the door wider to allow Kim to walk through his doorway. Kim smiled and slowly walked in with each click of her heels making their way in to his apartment. With Kim's sexy being inside Max's apartment, he closes the door behind her. 
 
 `` Max will be out soon,'' Max himself said, `` he's still getting ready. Man, and girls are supposed to be the ones who take to long to get ready am I right?'' Is this too obvious, Max thought. 
 
 Kim stares at Max, not only at his eyes, but at his entirely new body. Almost as if she was examining him. She gives one final up and down with Max's body and laughs. What, Max thought. 
 
 `` It's okay Max, you do n't need to try anymore,'' Kim says with a smirk. 
 
 `` Wait,'' Max says confusingly, `` what? WHAT!?'' Before he could say another word, Kim pulls out a pinch of pepper from her pocket and blows it Max's face. Max sneezes with a large amount of force. When he opens his eyes, he feels his clothes being snug on his body. He looks down at his body to find that he now fills his clothes with a bulge in his crotch area. Yup I knew it, Max thought. Relieved but confused, he looks at Kim again. She is still smiling, but this time she is slightly biting her lower lip. Max tries to speak but Kim puts her index finger over his lips. `` It'll be faster if I explain it without any questions,'' Kim says slowly. Max nods his head. 
 
 `` I noticed that you took a little liking to me Max.'' Busted, Max thought. `` And I did too. I've seen you around the company's public areas and I started to like you too. But, I'm a bit a freak though. Not to mention a little crazy. You see, I'm bisexual. Not only that I'm like, 6 kinds of Asian. But that is n't that freaky part. I little before the party I wanted to see if you really wanted me, so I asked a friend of mine to be bait to test you. And you passed! I was so happy when you denied her kiss.'' 
 
 Max tires to respond, `` but...'' 
 
 `` Wait til I'm finished Max. So you denied the kiss and that made me give the signal to her. Thanks to a lot of'old Asian recipes' and myths, I found out how to create a cursed powder that changes people gender when they sneeze. Only problem is that it has to be administered with one on one saliva, so my friend took the dive, got it in you, and I set up our date. To be honest, I thought I would need to make you sneeze afterwards to see what you look like. But I can see that the results were great.'' 
 
 Max's head is full of confusion. So it was n't the witch, what about the changes in my body, how long will this last, will she do more, how crazy is she... All of these thoughts and more rush through his head, but could only say, `` I, uh, do n't know how to feel about this.'' 
 
 Kim smiles again and walks over to Max's coffee table where his keys and wallet are. `` Well,'' she says `` I told you I'm a freak.'' She then tosses both to Max and he fumbles to catch them. Kim walks to the front door, opens the door, looks at Max, and says, `` Have n't you ever wondered how it feels to be a woman having sex with another woman? Because only a freak would.'' She walks out the door, leaving it open. 
 
 Max stares at the door, looks at his keys, and says, `` Well, freaks are n't all bad.'' He follows Kim out his door. 
 
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 I know the end kinda sounded like the beginning of a porn, but I'm happy with the results.
