[ WP ] Every left shoe on earth vanishes . society crumbles .

`` God fucking damnit, you whore'' 
 
 I hate it when he talks like that. 
 
 `` Fuck'' 
 
 I looked down and I examined. Two right shoes, one of them not fitting. 
 
 `` They wo n't fucking let me into 7-11, I have n't had a cigarette all god damn day.'' 
 
 This was true -- 7-11 had already closed 249 stores in the past 3 months, due to their strict `` No shoes, no service.'' policy. They had refused to change the policy, the CEO quoted as saying the `` outstanding integrity of our policies is immeasurably valuable'' and `` We believe in the American dream, and that dream involves matching shoes.''. 
 
 Jed was talking to the right shoe on his left foot. Jed was very angry. 
 
 **Three months prior** - 
 President Obama had passed congress's bill to `` increase the value of all left shoes by 20,000 %'', on April 1st 2014. The same day, during a presidential speech on environmental ethics at the University of Wisconsin, Obama took a gunshot to his left temple. The shooter's name was Joji Iokana, a Korean exchange student studying to be a mechanical engineer. He had been promptly killed seconds after firing the shot at the U.S. president. It was later found out that Joji Iokana was a severely deranged individual, who had trended incredibly high on the autism spectrum. This resulted in the exchange student never actually understanding any jokes and `` reacting violently when facing sarcasm'' said Judy Iokana, his mother. The announcement to veto and destroy the bill was set for only two hours after the U.S. president had died, but never actually happened. Now, this is where congress had fucked up very badly, because they thought it would be extra funny to add a clause to the Constitution of the United States stating that the bill would `` only be destroyable by the 2014 president of the United States of America''. Due to the immense difficulty it is to remove a clause from the constitution, congress was stuck in a tough spot even three months later, with nearly no progress made to reform the clause. The bill survived, and the United States was in an extreme state of class separation. People sold their left shoes to the rich, who hoarded them all. People stole left shoes from each other, while the rich laughed. People killed other people for their left shoes, and other people would kill those people, and so on. Even shoes in other countries became scarce, as the poor would sell their left shoes to the rich people of their homeland, who would sell them to rich men in the United States for an enormous profit. 
 
 Jed threw his shoe, which was a red and nameless knock-off with white laces, at the television set. 
 
 `` Today's story, the new Yeezy-boost 63-6281's now cost 30,000,000usd per left shoe, and 1,500 per right. In a recent interview with rapper Kanye West, he was quoted as saying'YALL NIGGAS CA N'T FUCK WITH'YE, YALL NIGGAS CA N'T FUCK WITH'YE' and'JEROME'S IN THE HOUSE WATCH YOUR MOUTH, JEROME'S IN THE HOUSE WATCH YOUR MOUTH' when asked about why he had not taken a stand against congress's cruel decision to up shoe prices.'' 
 
 I could n't stand it any longer, I could n't stand Jed and his anger, I could n't stand the television. I went out into the front yard and sat in the rough summer grass. I sat until I left a indent of my body's lower half. I cried all night, I could n't sleep well ever since the thoughts started. What was the point of it all? All the deadbolts on our front door? For what, to protect the shoes we did n't have? 
 
 I got out of bed. I looked at Jed, his face was relaxed and he perspired like he always had done in his sleep. I snuck into the kitchen, I found the loaded Kimber 45 Jed had kept under the sink in case of another home invasion. I went out onto the patio and stared into the sky, something was strangely different about tonight. The stars were n't any bigger, and the moon was n't special in any particular way. The clouds swirled in the night sky of Goyang, creating a fusion of purple and blue. It was beautiful. But I knew there was nothing to it. I brought the pistol up to my right temple, I counted down from three. I knew that I would see my son again.
