[ WP ] Two victims of bullying make a plan to shoot up their high school together . However , they both secretly plan to betray the other in order to become a hero .

“ Faggots ” 
 
 That was it. That was fucking it. 3 years of constant humiliation from a neanderthal piece of shit who crawled from the spit in his mother ’ s vagina. I hate that jock fuck Kevin and all his sheepish gang of bull headed pigs. 
 
 “ Leave us alone Kevin, we ’ re just trying to get the class ” 
 
 “ Get to ass, more like, am I right fellas? ” 
 
 An chorus of high fives and belly laughs. This is what counts as wit in this hellhole. I see a group of girls snickering. All pretty, popular and perky. My face feels warm. 
 
 “ Ju- just fuck off Kevin ” I hear Gerry stutter beside me. 
 
 “ Ooo, check out the big balls on Gerkin! Duh-duh-duh I can ’ t speak goo goo good cos I sucked the postman ’ s dick when he was fucking my mommy when I was still baking in her snatch ” 
 
 Kevin grabs his crotch while simultaneously waving his free hand in the air collecting all the gratitude in the room. 
 
 “ Fuck this ” I say to Gerry “ Let ’ s just go ” 
 
 We leave to a chant that Gerry has glory hole or some other shit that doesn ’ t even make sense. I don ’ t care, I ’ ve heard them all at this stage and I hate myself for still burning up inside every time. 
 
 Gerry brushes it off but I can see the water in his eyes. Jesus Christ Ger, get it together, don ’ t give that subhuman piece of scum more ammunition. 
 
 Ammunition. Now there ’ s an idea. Admittedly not an original idea. Shit, its been played to death at this stage. ‘ Literally ’ I think in a darker moment. 
 
 “ You know what we should do, Ger? Go Columbine on those jerkasses ” 
 
 “ Jesus Matt, dodon ’ t say things like that. ” 
 
 “ Fuck it, those guys had the right idea. This generation is nothing but over privileged, vapid, shallow animals. The human race could do with a good purging. ” 
 
 Gerry goes to say something but stops himself. I look at him and see a brief glimpse in his eye. The poor guys been getting it worse than I ever did. With his stutter and the fact that his Mother left him and his Father when he was a kid, he never had a chance in this jungle. 
 
 I decide to push him a bit more. 
 
 “ Come on Ger, are you telling me you ’ d be happy seeing Kevin leave here with the prettiest girl and inherit his rich asshole dad ’ s business and making more money than we can ever dream of? ” 
 
 His brow lowers. Good, I ’ m getting through. 
 
 “ Bu-but, like, bu-but whu-would we have to kill so many people? Like can ’ t we ju-just k-kill Kevin? ” 
 
 Holy shit, did he just jump ahead of me in this idea? 
 
 “ Well… ” I hesitate, thinking my next few words over “... yeah I guess? I mean fuck, what if it ’ s like, we just kill Kevin and then, like, like, BAM! His fucking daddy, I dunno, sues our parents or some shit? ” 
 
 Gerry looks at me. Shit, there ’ s doubt there. Shit, have I really just committed to this? 
 
 “ Besides, all those assholes are just as bad for encouraging him. I mean, fuck, do you think he ’ d be half as bad without an audience? ” 
 
 “ I guess… ” 
 
 “ Fucking right you guess. Look, think about it this way, look how fucking popular those Columbine kids were? And then they offed themselves afterwards, never reaping the rewards of what they, like, sowed or whatever? ” 
 
 I ’ m not half as articulate as I am in my head. 
 
 “ Jesus Matt, did you really just say that? ” 
 
 “ Well yeah ” 
 
 “ So-so-so this wouldn ’ t be a suicide-mu-murder thing? We wouldn ’ t b-be martyrs? ” 
 
 “ Fuck no, were they? No, they got villainised because, uh, because, like, the media was all ‘ ooOOO they were psychos ’ or ‘ ooOooO Marilyn Manson is the devil ’. Fucking media assholes, like, propagating this-this-this hypocrtical, uh, like... bullshit ” 
 
 I saw Gerry ’ s face spark up a bit at that. Despite how much everyone ’ s an asshole, he ’ s always just wanted to be liked. Poor guy. A group of cheerleaders walk by, oblivious to us. Then I realise I ’ m the exact same. 
 
 
 
 
 **___** 
 
 
 
 
 I get home, exhausted from after school study. I look at my notepad and see scribbles of guns and the flag on fire and think to myself, Jesus, I ’ m just like everyone else. A fraud, a liar and a hypocrite. 
 
 I think about my conversation with Gerry earlier. Was I really serious about murdering a group of people just for making fun of me? And what the hell was that shit about Columbine? 
 
 Shit. I better text Gerry telling him I was blowing off steam. Why do I always overreact to everything? 
 
 ‘ Hey. sry bout 2day. wuz jus lettin off steam ’ send 
 
 ‘ Lol k. me 2 ’ he replies 
 
 ‘ Hahaha tty 2mrw? ’ 
 
 ‘ k, dnt 4get ur dads rifle, lol ’ 
 
 What the fuck? 
 
 ‘ wtf? lol man, u crazy: p ’ 
 
 ‘ k man: ) juz dnt ask me 4 bullits if u run out ’ 
 
 Ok. Alright… 
 
 Gerry ’ s never been one to have a dark sense of humour. Or any for that matter. Maybe he just realised that there ’ s life after school like I did. College. And college girls… 
 
 
 
 **____** 
 
 
 Shit! I wake up with my hand down my pants and realise that Gerry ’ s going to do it tomorrow. His dad ’ s always had that stupid pistol or whatever his grandad gave him. 
 
 Shit, fuck, shit. 
 
 “ Matthew! Watch that language! ” I hear from the room next to me. 
 
 Must of said that out loud in a panic. “ Sorry ” I call back. 
 
 I ’ m soaked in sweat. Half from... what I was up to and the other half from realising my best friend is a psychopath. I had to do something. Be the hero. 
 
 Be the hero? Me? Shit, that ’ s a lot of pressure for a 15 year old. I don ’ t even know what I want to be when I grow up… 
 
 That said… 
 
 I could grow up a hero. That could open a lot of doors for me. I mean, that would look good on a job application, right? 
 
 Shit, am I really thinking this? Shit, Gerry ’ s like my best friend... fuck it, I better just go asleep. 
 
 Shit. 
 
 Shiiiiit. 
 
 Sh… 
 
 
 **___** 
 
 
 I wake up with my hand on my heart. Did I even sleep? FUCK! 
 
 *vrr vrr… 
 vrr vrr…* 
 
 A text. Gerry, surprise surprise. 
 
 ‘ Game face ’ 
 
 ‘ Dnt back down now killer ’ 
 
 Oh great, thanks for incriminating me Timothy McVeigh. 
 
 Shit, I ’ m so tired I can ’ t even think straight. What am I going to do? Fuck... I mean my dad doesn ’ t even have a rifle, why did I lie about that? To be cool? And for who? Gerry? 
 
 God Dammit. 
 
 I go to the toilet. I take a piss and hop in the shower. I wash myself. I get out. I wipe the mirror from steam. 
 
 I look like shit. 
 
 Then it dawns on me! I shove two fingers down my throat and hurl chunks of last night ’ s pasta down the toilet. I keep going until I ’ m violently, and more importantly, loudly retching. I laugh at my self, muttering ‘ mom ’ s spagetti ’ in a moment of dizzy delusion. 
 
 ‘ Jesus Matthew ’ I hear from the door frame. ‘ You look like crap! ’ 
 
 Good old easy to manipulate mom I think to myself, oblivious of the fact that I probably did serious damage to my trachea. 
 
 “ Right back into bed. No way you ’ re leaving the house in this state ” 
 
 A wave of euphoria washes over me. This must be what its like to smoke ecstasy or eat molly or whatever they were talking about in gym that day. I ’ m also pretty whacked out of it from the purge I just had. 
 
 “ oh... no… ” I manage to mumble out. Even my grin can ’ t betray my happiness. Jesus, I must really be a mess. 
 
 
 **____** 
 
 12.30 - Recess 
 
 Or at least it would be if I wasn ’ t shivering in bed. I must of really fucked myself up. Oh well, small price to pay to avoid making life-altering decisions like martyring myself after a killing spree or slaying the beast that was once my best friend for the glory of... girls and… well that was it really. 
 
 Huh… 
 *vrr vrr 
 vrr vrr* 
 
 ‘ u fukin pussy mat. lol jk, herd u wer sik ’ 
 
 Jesus, its Gerry. Wait did he just call me a pussy? 
 
 ‘ sry man ’ I text back. I don ’ t know why though. 
 
 ‘ u rly r a traitor dude. i juz got suspendd fr bringin a gun 2 skul ’ 
 
 Shit, he really did go off the deep end. 
 
 ‘ shit, u rly did go of de deep end ’ I reply. 
 
 ‘ lol stfu, it wuz nly a water pistol full of cat piss. kev got soaked. evry1 ltao ’ 
 
 ‘ wtf is ltao ’ 
 
 ‘ laff der asss of, duh! ’ 
 
 Son of a bitch. He was going to let me bring my dad ’ s non existant rifle to make a martyr of myself while he played the clown. Bravo, Gerry, you asshole. 
 
 ‘ lol u asshole ger ’ I text back. 
 
 ‘ it kul, evry1 tink i a hero now. kev cryied lik a bitch ’ 
 
 Bitch? Gerry called someone else a bitch? This is some ‘ He who Fights Monsters ’ shit right. 
 
 ‘ lol k ’ I reply. 
 
 ‘ hey mat, sry but i wnt b round to ply xbox 2mrw. we r goin 2 mcds, mybe nxt time? ’ 
 
 We? 
 
 ‘ k ttyl ’ I reply. 
 
... No more texts. Shit, did he just ditch me? 
 
 I ponder this for a moment. 
 
 Fuck it. 
 
 I load up Skyrim and kill everyone in that stupid wizard college and then join the Champions.
