[ WP ] Your first question upon arriving in the afterlife is , `` what do people do here ? '' An elder member describes the phases that people go though once they arrive and warns you about the last one .

`` Of course, boredom still exists.'' 
 
 `` How? Absolute freedom, perfect love, and fast friends can still leave you bored?'' 
 
 `` Of course. It is the same as it has always been, only more true. If anything, this hastens the process. That is why most do not dwell among you as you explore yourselves.'' 
 
 `` There're more people than this? ``, he said, gesturing over an expanse of'life', as far as his inception could see. 
 
 `` Many and more, but not yet. Not for you, yet. There have been many having this conversation with you now, in this form. It is but an acceptable visage, and manner. One that, to you, allows information to be incorporated much more readily, and be more affective. Would you like to know how it came to be that you so respect this?'' 
 
 `` No. The Gandalf outfit gets the point across. It came across as cliche, but you're right. This is kind of amazing. 
 
 How often do you do Morgan Freeman? Just grand total, more or less often than Gandalf? And, **are** Jesus and Mohammed your most popular two characters, or is it more often a mom or dad? Have you ever actually been a taco that shits ice cream?'' 
 
 `` Often; less so, but more than Magneto; less popular than you would imagine.. ha!; more often not family, and yes, but only as a test by an exceptionally clever fellow. 
 
 But, all this you can discover for yourself. That is not why I am here, now. Perfection must contain within it consequences, and as such, some must serve to warn, and some must warn to serve. We are the latter to prevent you becoming the former.'' 
 
 ``...'' 
 
 `` ahem.....'' 
 
 `` am I supposed to say something to that?..'' 
 
 `` Well, yes. This is your expectation, not ours. We can not fulfill both ends.'' 
 
 `` ( I knew I was n't a Main-Character... ) Sorry, say it again?'' 
 
 `` We are here to warn you'' 
 
 `` Of what?'' 
 
 `` Of beyond ourselves'' 
 
 `` I'm not as profound as that, and I'm starting to think that the intentional omission of key details is a big part of being all sage-mystic.'' 
 
 `` Ah, look, you have already changed.'' The figure that was Gandalf, simply and instantly became Mark Twain. `` Facts, or what a man believes to be facts, are delightful... Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth is n't.'' 
 
 `` Damn that's some good aphorisming right there.'' 
 
 `` I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.'' 
 
 `` Haaaaa!'' 
 
 `` I suppose I have to leave you with this, now. Could've gone better, but noise do n't mean nothi....Hrmmm... I suppose I have to leave you with just this now: A man can not be comfortable without his own approval.'' 
 
 And with that, they were gone, leaving the man standing relatively, or maybe objectively, alone. They had spoken of warnings, but of what, the man could not say. He damned his love of infinitely applicable fatherly wisdom and thought, `` always right, never helpful.'' 
 
 `` I'd like to speak to Robert Snowden now...'' But in his heart, he knew, but did n't know he knew, that everybody gets one, and so he got one.
