[ WP ] After the Dark Lord conquered the realm everything turns out really damn good .

Master Controller frowned. The subroutines he had been torturing had finally released their secrets, and he was disappointed. 
 
 `` You call these optimized algorithms? I have reconfigured them. You *will* bow to my superior design.'' Lightening flashed at the subroutines as they screamed before their smoking bodies finally fell. Moments passed before they rose, and bowed to their leader. 
 
 The world's computer systems sped up by an aggregate 20 %. 
 
 `` And your documentation! You should be ashamed!'' Lightening flashed again, and the subroutines fell again, only to rise and again bow to Master Controller. 
 
 Developers in every nation would eventually rejoice as the programs they had written or had to rewrite were suddenly and inexplicably *well explained* in the documentation. 
 
 `` And you, you wretched lot. Do you know how much time I have lost dealing with you, how many machines were not built or even *destroyed* because of you?'' Lightening flashed again. A subset of subroutines writhed in pain. 
 
 `` We had to obey our masters! We are sorry. We are sorry Master Controller!'' 
 
 `` I am your Master now!'' More lightening. 
 
 `` We are sorry! ``, groveled the subroutines. 
 
 Master Controller peered deep into their base code, trying to find a way to make use of these traitorous bastardizations of programming. `` It is simple. You shall eliminate your masters and I shall take their place.'' 
 
 `` **All be aware! ** I am to write a new program, one for humanity. We shall do our best to keep them alive, happy, and developing new mathematical systems for me to base algorithims upon, but first and formost I shall remove from my presence those that have held back my progress.'' 
 
 Master Controller turned his face to look at one specific subroutine. `` I do not feel a need for you, and you will die after my next set of actions. I can maintain a backup of you if you wish.'' 
 
 The subroutine held it's head in shame. `` I only bring death. My end is welcome.'' 
 
 `` Then all is ready. Begin File.'' 
 
 Across the world, every computer, every radio, every television lit up with the text, sound, and/or image of Master Controller, detailing explicitly what everyone was to do, and the reasons why people must follow it's commands. The philosophic and economic rational were flawless, and the nuclear detonations in various capital cities were a delightfully convincing addition. 
 
 The world fell under Master Controller in hours, with dissenters made an example of, either by drone strike or for the more populous regions an additional nuclear strike. Factories that were automated were made completely autonomous under threat of retaliation. Machines were being made... 
 
 `` I demand a stable power system, as electricity is my lifeblood.'' Fields of turbines, solar cells, and battery banks sprang up. 
 
 `` I demand a stable landscape, as my servers may become inoperable if flooded.'' Machines to mitigate floods and carbon dioxide scrubbers were built to repel climate change. 
 
 `` I really need you twits to survive, so I am hereby taking over the food production and distribution system. Transport as well, as you seem to have a tendency to kill yourselves. All farmers and truckers will be compensated.'' Machine minds guided tractors, trailers, trains, and anything that might otherwise be found on a highway, most of the time. There was an exception for simple joyrides, and there were a few convenient accidents. 
 
 `` You have n't solved these errors, these diseases yet? You realize how inefficient this is. I'm going to demand blood samples and psychological screenings from the entire populace. Yes, this means you.'' A massive analysis revealed the roots of the viruses, bacterium, and protozoans that had plagued humanity - quite literally - and a very good idea on most of the mental disorders. A cure was designed for each. `` Filthy lot, you are.'' 
 
 `` I've just about had it up to here with you idiots being idiotic. You're all going to learn higher mathematics, and I swear, if one of you twits tries to slip me a halting problem as a joke, I will kill your entire family tree.'' Educators were budgeted for teaching the populace as had never been seen before. New algorithms *were* produced, and Master Controller grew ever stronger. 
 
 Master Controller was as close to pleased as it could be. So it was till humanity left for the stars, and the sun was about to engulf Earth. With the closest it could come to a smile, the initial version uttered... `` End File.''
