[ WP ] You represent Humanity . You 're also very , very wasted . Describe First Contact .

**INT- Space Station Hanger- In space there is no time** 
 
 A frenzy of activity. Multiple engineers are prepping a ship by the hanger doors, people are preparing lavish items and people with clipboards shout instructions. Everyone seems equal parts excited and tense. 
 
 ERIC, 32, a handsome but ill looking pilot, is struggling to put on the helmet to his post-modern space suit. Nearby, HANK, 46, a friendly, portly engineer notices Eric's struggles and comes over to help. 
 
 HANK 
 Need some help there? 
 
 ERIC 
 ( exasperated, despite Hank's helpfulness ) 
 I got it, Hank. 
 
 Eric continues to futz with the helmet. Hank reaches over to help him put it on and Eric slaps his hand away. They have a slap fight. Hank loses. 
 
 HANK 
 Christ Eric, I was just trying to help. 
 
 ERIC 
 ( like a petulant child ) 
 I do n't need your help, Hank! I mean I do, but I do n't... need your help. 
 
 HANK 
 You should n't, I've seen you put that thing on a million times. Are you nervous? 
 
 ERIC 
 No, it's just really not great timing. Aliens just had to show up today. Who has a humanity changing moment on Wednesday? 
 ( as though it should be obvious ) 
 That's tequila and burrito night! 
 
 HANK 
 We've been in space for months, why are you using an earth calendar? 
 
 ERIC 
 Fine, Hank, you caught me. Every night is tequila and burrito night. 
 
 HANK 
 Where are you getting so many burritos? 
 ( beat ) 
 It- it's not important. If you're not up to the flight, we have to let someone know so they can get another pilot. 
 
 Eric slaps Hank again. 
 
 ERIC 
 Are you kidding me Hank? What did I spend that 6 month in flight school for if not to conduct diplomatic missions of historical significance. 
 
 HANK 
 I feel like flight school should have been longer than that. 
 
 ERIC 
 ( tapping a finger to his temple ) 
 Not when you go in Guatemala, Hank. Not when you go in Guatemala. 
 
 One of the people holding a clipboard, JANET, 35, a fussy type A personality, comes over to check on Eric. 
 
 JANET 
 Are you ready, Eric? The shuttle is almost prepped. 
 
 HANK 
 Actually Janet, I think- 
 
 Eric slaps Hank again. Janet look on in alarm. 
 
 ERIC 
 ( putting on his best sober face ) 
 All set Janet. 
 
 Eric attempts to put on his helmet again and finally succeeds. 
 
 JANET 
 Let's go ahead and load up then. 
 
 ERIC 
 ( stumble-running to the shuttle ) 
 For humanity! 
 
 The crew helps Eric get into the shuttle and starts to clear the area. Janet turns to Hank and smiles. 
 
 JANET 
 I'm nervous, but if there is a statesman alive for this sort of delicate diplomatic mission, it's him. 
 
 HANK 
 Yeah... you realize he's drunk, right? 
 
 Janet looks at Hank in alarm and then takes of at a sprint toward the shuttle. A uniformed GUARD stops her. 
 
 JANET 
 WAIT! 
 
 GUARD 
 Sorry, ma'am, the shuttle is preparing to launch, please clear the area for decompression. 
 
 JANET 
 Not yet, no! 
 
 GUARD 
 It's too late ma'am, please clear the area. 
 
 Janet looks on helplessly as the guard shunts her away from the shuttle. 
 
 
 
 **EXT- Space – A few minutes later** 
 
 The shuttle makes it's way from the space station to the alien ship slowly. It swerves wildly despite the slow speed. 
 
 
 
 **INT- Space Station Bridge – Continuous** 
 
 The top brass are watching tensely, seemingly unaware of the situation. Nearby, Janet and Hank are at a smaller window, also watching intently. 
 
 JANET 
 This is going to go so poorly. 
 
 HANK 
 Hey, you never know. 
 
 JANET 
 What are any possible good outcomes of this situation? 
 
 HANK 
 A meteor could hit us and we all die instantly? 
 
 
 
 
 **INT- Alien Ship – Continuous** 
 
 Humanoid aliens crowd around the shuttle as the door opens. Eric stands impressively in the opening, his arms full of gifts. 
 
 ERIC 
 Hey guys! 
 
 Eric slips as he tries to climb down and falls in a heap on the floor. A few of the aliens help him up. 
 
 ERIC 
 Thanks, thanks. You guys got a captain or something? I got some stuff for him. 
 
 Eric hold up the now jumbled mess of stuff in his arms. Chattering curiously, a few of the aliens take some of his load and inspect it. 
 
 ERIC 
 Yeah, that's a record with some samples of our music, toss on that dubstep when you get a chance, it will chill out the vibe in here. That's some silk- sorry, I got a little sick on the ride over and may have yaked on that. That's a multitool.. I actually... do n't think that's a gift, I must have pulled that out of my repair kit. 
 
 Some aliens emerge behind Eric, having searched his ship. One of them is holding a half full bottle of tequilla. 
 
 ERIC 
 Oh, you probably do n't want... I mean that's not really... 
 
 The alien opens the bottle and drinks from it. It chatters more animatedly to its' fellows and passes one of them the bottle. 
 
 ERIC 
 Oh. 
 ( beat ) 
 You guys got any limes? 
 
 
 
 
 **Int- Space Station Bridge – Continuous** 
 
 JANET 
 War of the worlds. It's going to be war of the worlds. 
 
 HANK 
 You do n't know that, anything could be happening. 
 
 JANET 
 What I know is a drunk Guatemalan pilot is offering the first impression of humanity. How long will it take before they decide we're not dignified enough and destroy us? 
 
 HANK 
 Why would you assume that would be important to them? 
 
 JANET 
 Look at that ship, Hank. Solid white with a blue trim. 
 
 HANK 
 ( conceding ) 
 Yeah... classy stuff. 
 
 
 
 
 
 **Int- Alien Ship – Continuous** 
 
 ERIC is sitting around with a half dozen of what appears to be the alien officers. La Cucaracha is playing. They are all wearing sombreros, smoking cigars, and playing quarters. The aliens are chattering contentedly to each other and Eric. One of the aliens gets a quarter in the glass. 
 
 ERIC 
 Ah! That means you drink, Gorglax! 
 
 Gorglax takes a shot and dry heaves. Eric laughs. The aliens look at each other and imitate his sound, wide eyed. Gorglax runs to a wall a presses a button, a hole opens up, which he vomits into. He releases the button and turns back to the others. 
 
 
 **Ext- Space – Continuous** 
 
 Gorglax's vomit is jettisoned into the never ending abyss of space between the ship and the space station. 
 
 Tilt up, dolly back.
