[ WP ] Late on Christmas Eve you awaken to find Santa in your home . He is much different than you imagined .

It was the night before Christmas in the small town of Renton, a quiet town where poor, old citizens of Seattle came to retire, and everyone in the Moore household had tuned in for the night. The boozy eggnog had flowed like a river, the magic cookies wet everyone ’ s appetite, and the main dishes which consisted of lovely roasted pineapple ham, tamales and a spiked chocolate cheesecake, had left most powerless to make it past three a.m. Once the final guests of the Moore household had said their goodbyes, it was time for the host ’ s family to go to bed and await the arrival of the fat bearded man who comes only once a year. 
 
 “ Good night, we love you ” Slurred Papa and Mama Moore to their sweet little 30 year old girl. 
 
 “ Good night guys ” She slurred back, embracing her progenitors and kissing her sister goodnight. 
 
 Once every soul besides her own had been tucked away nicely into a warm bed, Sally decided she would put the food left overs away before they gifted the house with a jolly though rancid smell on Christmas morning. Not long after putting the ham in the fridge and some magic cookies on the table Sally heard a noise coming from the chimney. Without a second thought she hid behind the couch beside the Christmas tree, hoping to catch a glimpse of the most interesting man in the world. Scratching from the chimney became louder, louder, louder until she heard a *bump*. 
 Instead of the scratching, stepping noises filled the room. But these were very light steps, at least for what was supposed to be a morbidly obese man. Finally a shape appeared beside the tree! 
 A very wrong shape indeed! 
 A shape which in no way matched what the legends said about the old, fat man! 
 
 The man standing beside the tree was young, lean and shirtless. It matched the Greek Ideal of male beauty in every way possible. Santa was so beautiful and radiant that his skin seemed to glow against the lights of the lights of the tree, making the situation unbearable. 
 
 “ Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Santa?! ” Politely exclaimed our heroine. Abercrombie Santa raised a perfect eyebrow, while flashing a dazzling smile. 
 
 “ Why, I am he that brings presents and smiles to those who have been good all year round. ” Exclaimed Santa with a faint Spanish accent. Ever the subtle one, Sally presented her objections. 
 
 “ You are not fat. ” 
 
 “ It is a lie spread by me to keep the paparazzi away. ” Santa waved a hand dismissively. 
 
 “ You are young. ” 
 
 “ I am one of the immortal guardians of the universe. I am incapable of aging, having stopped at the apex of my youth in my twenties, centuries ago. ” 
 
 “ You are not white. ” 
 
 “ I ’ ve no idea who said I was. ” 
 
 “ You have no shirt. ” 
 
 “ I get warm quite quickly. My superpowers make it nearly impossible for me to feel cold or pain so I find that being on the nude is quite comfortable, although not appropriate for the job. ” 
 
 Santa was no lying. His chest was glistening from slightly sweating inside the house. He had to be the most beautiful man Sally had ever laid eyes on. Against her own will she took a step towards Santa, plucking her lips, unable to fight his raw animal magnetism. Sexy Santa took a step back, stretching an arm toward Sally. 
 
 “ Sorry, you are not my type. I like tall, fit women who are good all year round. You are short, barely in shape and drink too much. In fact I came here to bring you some sticks and coals. ” 
 
 Stunned, Sally walked towards the table in the living room, carefully picking up the gourmet canna-cookies as she headed for bed. Santa was simply another douche. 
 
 Minutes later, once satisfied with his work regarding sticks and coal, Santa was ready to leave. 
 Before departing he glimpsed a picture of Sally on the chimney, taking it with him as he left. 
 He had been tempted to give her the kiss of death, stealing what was left of her lifespan by adding it to his own but had taken pity on her instead as he knew all about her recent divorce from her secretly gay husband. Her life was his gift to Sally for Christmas. 
 Smiling to himself Santa got in the red Ferrari parked on the roof of the house and flew away. 

