[ WP ] You are a Human-Genie hybrid . You can grant one wish to anyone who ... rubs you the right way . ( Do n't be dirty ! ) Of course , you have a genie sense of humor about those wishes .

Reading a book by lamplight, I heard a knock on my apartment door. Probably just some salesman, although I ca n't imagine what they're selling at 3:20 I'm the morning. 
 
 Why am I up at 3:20 in the morning? Genie bottles are a bit strange; the one I inherited from my mom does n't play well with time. If I go into it, even for the equivalent of a thousand and one nights, I'll come back out maybe a few milliseconds after I left. It makes for lonely yet fun nights. 
 
 Another knock. Maybe I should be concerned, but I'm sure it's nothing I ca n't handle. I kind of want the guy to break in; it's not often that I get to chastise a criminal. 
 
 So now there's a rattling sound at the door- wait, the door's open. The guy's coming in. Having already turned the lamp off, I start to sneak up behind him, when suddenly a CLANG sounds and he hits the floor. Startled, I turn on the lights and see my neighbor Alice standing behind the unconscious robber holding a frying pan. 
 
 She sees my shocked expression and shrugs. `` I heard him and figured he was up to no good; consider it my late Christmas gift.'' 
 
 Like the dummy I am, I only manage to say, `` It's April.'' 
 
 Another shrug. `` Consider it whatever you want to.'' Alice turns to leave. 
 
 `` Hang on, I ca n't just let you walk away like that. I have to repay you.'' 
 
 `` Well, let me know next time there's a robber on our porch.'' 
 
 `` No, no, that's not what I meant. Tell you what, I will grant you one wish. Anything you want.'' 
 
 She looks at me skeptically. `` Yeah, right, I'm supposed to believe you're a genie. Not gon na happen.'' 
 
 As she tries to leave again, I close the door with a wave of my hand. `` It's true. I am part genie. 
 
 She's still not convinced. `` Smoke and mirrors do n't work with me, boy. But if you insist, I do have a request.'' 
 
 `` Took you long enough. What'll it be?'' 
 
 `` I want... `` 
 
 `` You have to wish for it. Wanting wo n't work.'' 
 
 She sighs, then grins. `` In that case, I wish for ten more genies, all indebted to me.'' 
 
 I'm speechless. I do n't allow wishing for more wishes, but more genies means more wishes, and if she asks for even more of those, pretty soon she'd be unstoppable. This was not how I planned this evening going. 
 
 `` I thought so.'' She opens the door and starts to leave for a third time. If I could just let it go, it'd be so easy; we'd act like it never happened. But already I feel the power start to control me. In pain, in desperation, I can only point over her head and grunt, `` As you wish.'' 
 
 A rain of magic lamps falls down, one hitting her on the head and knocking her on the floor. I'm worried that the clang will wake someone up, but it's 3:30 in the morning. I'm safe for a few more hours. 
 
 Gathering up the lamps, but being careful not to rub any ( Genies ca n't grant wishes from each other anyway ), I set them on a table inside. 
 
 I take a look at the prone bodies on the floor. After a moment of thought, I smile and summon two empty lamps. 
 
 `` Why not make it a dozen?''
