[ EU ] Christopher Robin returns to the Hundred Acre Wood to systematically eliminate his childhood friends .

My name is Christopher Robin. I was the boy who played in the hundred Acre woods with my friends Pooh, Tiger, Piglet, and Rabbit. Oh how much fun we had. Pooh was such a silly bear. 
 
 But now, I'm an adult. I'm the lead Project manager at a construction company and the hundred acre woods is the spot of a new mall. So, I'm driving back to the place I used to play with as a child to talk the creatures into leaving. 
 
 
 My first stop, Piglet's house. After leaving my car in an open field, I walk to his house. I open the door. There he is. `` Christopher Robin? You're back! Are you ready to play?'' he asks. `` Uh, no. Piglet, I'm not here for that. I actually wanted to know if you could leave the hundred acre woods. You see, my company thinks this place would be perfect for a mall.'' I explain. `` Oh dear, that sounds complicated. But this Is my home. It's where I play with my friends, with you!'' he cries. 
 
 `` I'm too old for playing! I'm a man now, do n't you get that? Now, you need to leave!'' I yell. `` Okay. We had alot of fun together. It's a shame it has to end'' Piglet says, as he slowly disappears like a ghost. What the heck was that? Oh well, I have a Job to do. 
 
 Next up, Rabbit's house. I open the door and, of course, there he is. He's in the kitchen with his apron on. `` Ah, young Christopher Robin, I assume you're hungry from a long day of playing? Sit down, my carrot cake is almost done.'' he tells me. `` Oh no, I'm not here for food. I actually am here to tell you you need to leave. My company bought this land, and we're building a mall here. Your house needs to go.'' I explain. 
 
 `` Oh, what are you talking about? Kids should play, and eat, yes eat. Sit down and get ready for an amazing carrot cake'' he replies. `` No, I'm grown up. I'm a different person now, I'm not a silly kid who plays. You need to leave!'' I shout. `` Oh, what a shame. I never got to make you my carrot meatloaf'' Rabbit says, sighing, as he disappears into thin air. 
 
 Again, it happened again. I told them to move, to leave the forest, not to literally go away! But, so be it. I walk to tiger's house next. I open the door and he comes bouncing up to me. `` Hey there Christopher Robin, Ol' buddy Ol' Pal! You ready to bounce, bounce, bounce?'' he asks. `` No. I'm here to tell you that you have to leave. Your house Is going to be torn down soon.'' I tell him. `` Dont be silly, you're an honorary Tiger! Tigers bounce because it's fun, fun, fun!'' he replies, bouncing cheerfully. 
 
 `` No.I'm not a kid. I've changed. I've outgrown all of this. You need to go!'' I yell. `` Okay, I understand.'' tiger says, with his head down and his tail between his legs. He disappears Just like the others. `` No, no, no! What's happening? Where are they going?'' I say aloud, frustrated and confused. 
 
 I hear a footstep in Tiger's doorway. It's pooh. `` Ah, Christopher Robin, I knew you'd be back. Let's eat some honey!'' he says. `` No, Pooh. I'm not here for that. You need to find a new home. My company is building a mall here.'' I tell him. `` Oh okay. Goodbye.'' he says, starting to fade away. 
 
 `` No, do n't, you do n't have to go! You ca n't! You can stay at my house! I'll give you all the honey you want, you silly goddamn bear! We can watch for shooting stars at night! We can still be friends we can still play!'' I yell, crying. It does no good. Pooh dissapears. 
 
 My best friends are gone. No more Playing, no more honey, no more anything. But, honestly, I always knew this day would come. A 30 year old man with imaginary friends? Haha, that's ridiculous right?
