[ WP ] War . War never changes . Well , except that one time ...

Grandpa Rick's eyes were misty, nodding off in his rocking chair beside the fireplace, remembering his earlier years. I loved sitting beside him, just wondering what deep and profound thoughts a man of his age must have. His eyes closed, peacefully contemplating his place in the universe. There really was n't a more relaxing place for me to read and unwind like being with my senior of 60 years. 
 
 His bloodshot eyes snapped open and he stared at me, arms quivering like two sticks of jello in a celebrity chef contest during an earthquake. He stared into my eyes, then past them, and finally to whatever memory had taken such strong hold of him. I prepared myself for a heart-touching story of my mom, or perhaps one of my grandmother. 
 
 `` BOY-YAH! I EVER TELL YA BOUT THE GREAT CHICKEN OFFENSIVE OF 95?'' 
 
 That one certainly caught me by surprise. 
 
 `` WELL, LET ME TERLL YA ANWAYS. IT WAS NITETIME, AND THE DAMN COUG SLIMJIMS WERE ON THE FENCE ABOUT THE YARLIN OF THE OL SKEEGATE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN. ANYWAYS, WE HAVE THE MISSIN OF TAKIN THEIR BASE AND THE INTELL ON THEM FANCY COMPOOTERS. I WAS COMING UP FROM THE FRONT, AND OL JIMMIE KOO' WAS SNEAKIN UP ON EM FROM THE PORT BOW, WHEN HE STEPS ON A TWIG AN THEY HEAR IM COMIN. 
 
 NOW, ME, I HAVE TO THINK REAL FAST, BECAUSE IF THEY SEE OL JIMMIE THEY WERE GON NA COOK HIM UP FASSER THAN A FAT PIG IN A STEKKOUSE. SO I GRAB THIS SLEEPIN COCK ON THE GROUND, AND I TIE IM TO MY HEAD WITH MY BOOTLACE, AND I JUST START RUNNING AT EM SCREAMIN MY FUCKIN'EAD OFF. NOW THIS WAKES UP THE CHICKEN, AND NOW THE CHICKEN IS YAMMERING AND SCREAMIN, FLAPPIN ITS STUBBY WINGS FOR ALL ITS DAMN WORTH. 
 
 WELL, THE SLIMJIMS CATCH ONE SIGHT OF THIS SCREAMIN BANSHEE IN THE DARK WITH FLAPPING WINGS FOR EARS, AND WELL, THEY TAKE OFF RUNNING. ME AN JIMMIE, WE TAKE THEIR BASE, AND THAT'S OW I GOT MY MEDAL OF HONOR FOR'TAKIN INITIATIVE IN AN UNCONVENTIONAL MANNER.'' 
 
 Finished with his outburst, Grandpa Rick settled back into his previous catatonic state, spittle gently dripping down his chin. 
 
 After that, I had decided it was best if I read my books at the library from then on.
