[ WP ] You are a person in his / her late teens that is casually watching POV livestreams in the vein of those currently posted on twitch and youtube . The broadcasters are anonymous , yet showcase their world through google glass-esque devices .

So you know that movie Being John Malkovich? Where Jon Cusack finds a portal John Malkovich ’ s mind. Like literally, he just sits around living vicariously as John Malkovich. Well not even vicariously either, he can legitimately feel the same emotions, and experience the same thoughts. Eventually his girlfriend catches on and basically just hunkers down, and decides to live her life as Jon Malkovich. Just kinda tossing out her own self, fully immersing herself in her new role. I mean this opens a shit ton of doors about the nature of the self. I guess the idea really is basic in its appeal. Living a life more extravagantly than your own. Essentially sliding down the rabbit hole into stardom, but with a back out clause. 
 
 But really is this how it would actually turn out? I ’ ll spoil it for you. I know. I ’ m an asshole. But regardless, here it comes. Eventually people stop giving a shit about John Malkovich. And I don ’ t mean Malkovich as an individual, but as a proxy for the entire idea. Living as a celebrity is depressing. As hard as you try you can ’ t actually escape who you actually are. Your internal monologue will never be theirs, your wants and needs and fears, while potentially masking theirs, at the end of the day are separate entities. As hard as it is to hear, it honestly is impossible to escape from yourself. 
 
 I ’ m going to go out on a limb here, but I ’ ll just go on with the assumption that this is a commonality hard wired into the human condition. That feeling, like you just need an escape. An escape from the confines and creaks and emotions and faults of your own body. You don ’ t want to die, you just sort of want your mind to float into the clouds for a quick breather. I apologize in advance for this, but it ’ s never going to happen. Hard drugs are probably the closest you ’ ll ever get. It doesn ’ t go away the longer you live in someone else ’ s mind. In fact after a while, everyone leaves. Everyone goes back to their meager lives. 
 
 There ’ s a phenomena that ’ s growing though. And albeit surprising, actually shouldn ’ t be. So the thing about major depressive disorder is the inescapability of it all. It ’ s like someone has shot a gaping hole in your chest that never heals. And you can fill that hole with concrete and pretend it ’ s okay, it never actually is. These. These are the people that are in the highest demand. I have to admit. It ’ s actually a little exhilarating. Like going to a scary movie. I mean right? It ’ s like feeling a watered down fear of death. A man standing above you with a knife paralyzes you in fear. That same man on a screen in front of you makes you tense. And it ends. And you go home and everything is okay. 
 
 I don ’ t really know how I feel about it all. Avoiding the exploitative nature of the whole process. The privacy violations and countless ethical line walking. But it has actually been really revealing. Though I mean really. Think about it. Could we expect it to turn out any different. Happiness fades, misery connects. Especially when there ’ s an escape. 

