[ WP ] You form a pact with the monster in your closet to work together in order to get rid of your terrible roommate .

Jack woke up to the pungent smell of marijuana. Sweat beads were dripping from his forehead as he got up to burn some incense and turn down the heat. 
 
 
 `` God knows why anybody would turn the heat up in the middle of the night'' he muttered under his breath. He'd been living with Sammy for a few months now, and he had been nothing if not a pain in the ass. There was food all over the kitchen floor, dirty dishes everywhere, and the apartment reeked. When Sammy first moved in Jack had *explicitly* said he did n't mind him smoking the apartment **as long as he made sure the place did n't reek** like some burnout's bachelor pad. He was up to here. 
 
 
 
 Jack turned down the thermostat which was set to some ungodly temperature. He laid back down on his bed but heard a shuffling. 
 
 
 `` Sammy, what in God's name are you doing in my room in the middle of the night?'' Jack said exasperatedly. The shuffling continued. The floorboards creaked underneath the stained carpet. 
 
 
 He heard a faint moaning. That was new, Sammy was certainly less of a nerd than him, but he had n't ever brought anyone back to the apartment. 
 
 
 Jack sighed, the prospect of trying to fall asleep through the moaning did n't thrill him. 
 
 
 The moaning got closer and deeper in pitch. Jack had to admit that he had n't considered the fact that Sammy might be gay. This brought up a whole new host of problems, like how to ask him to quiet down his lovemaking without appearing homophobic. 
 
 
 His worries were interrupted by fear as terror clutched his entire being. He scrambled back up his bead with his back against the wall. He was panting. He knew that what he had seen simply was n't real. And yet he could make out the squirming of a tentacle, illuminated by the neon lights from outside. 
 
 
 *'' I am burning ALIVE in here'' * said the darkness around him, a deep sickly voice. It made Jack's hair stand on end. 
 
 
 *'' How does he lack the common courtesy of spaying some fucking febreeze? And I can barely stand to leave this room without getting his crumbs on my tentacles. `` * the voice spoke again, it seemed angry. 
 
 
 `` W-w-what is this? I-is this s-some-some sorta joke?'' Jack stammered back. 
 
 
 It is said that each person on God's green earth will either instinctively fight any given unknown threat or run from said threat. Jack knew in this very moment that he was no fighter, and never would be. 
 
 
 *'' I do not like to joke. I can not stand Sammy, he has to go. `` * the voice said. 
 
 
 His fear slowly melted away as his half-asleep mind processed what he had just heard. He was incredulous. He was astounded. Most of all, though, he was happy. He had just found an ally in the lesser of two evils.
