[ WP ] You take your new wife to the city for your honeymoon . She has no idea you have a kilo of heroin in the trunk to deliver .

As I sped down the desert highway I was reminded of the opening scenes of “ Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas ”, except we were driving a Prius instead of the bright red Chevy Caprice. Also, instead of Dr. Gonzo in the passenger seat, there sat my beautiful wife. Really, the only things I had in common with Hunter S. Thompson at the time were the desert highway and the ungodly amount of heroin I had stashed in my trunk ( that my wife had no idea about. ) 
 
 My wife didn ’ t know a lot of things. We just got married after having been together for 7 years and she still didn ’ t know I was a heroin dealer. Granted, I didn ’ t use the stuff myself – I just pawned it off to a network of street goons who dispensed it all over the city for me. I had been doing it since I was right out of high school and I had pretty much perfected my method. Hell, if I could be one of the city ’ s main suppliers and my wife didn ’ t even know, then the DEA didn ’ t stand a chance. 
 
 It was as this thought crossed my mind that the blue and red lights began to flash behind me. My heart began to pound, but I wasn ’ t freaking out yet. I had been pulled over while riding dirty before - I just had to play it cool. It was probably just a routine traffic stop. 
 
 “ Oh shit, ” my wife said as she stirred from her nap. She seemed quite distressed at the sight of the cop. “ You weren ’ t even speeding! ” 
 
 “ I know, ” I said. I hadn ’ t been speeding. Why did he pull me over? 
 
 It was a because of a crack in my back windshield. Apparently that was illegal in this state. Whatever the case, I breathed a sigh of relief as the cop let me off with a warning and began to walk back toward his cruiser. 
 
 “ Damnit to hell! Shit! ” The cop began cursing profusely. He had a flat tire. He asked me if I had a jack, as his was missing. Before I could say no, my wife exclaimed that we had one in the trunk. They both looked at me, waiting to pop the trunk. I had stashed the heroin in the compartment that held the jack. 
 
 As I opened the trunk, I tried to position my body between me and the officer as I reached into the compartment to grab the jack. It was stuck. I tried to yank it a little harder without seeming like I was struggling. The officer insisted that he try. Before I could stop him, he reached into the compartment and froze. His eyes locked onto mine and I panicked. 
 
 I grabbed his gun right out of his holster and blew his brains out in front of my wife. She didn ’ t look as surprised as I would have thought. 
 
 “ Do you have something illegal in the trunk? ” she asked, as we got in the car and sped off. 
 
 I told her about the heroin, how I had been dealing for years, everything. 
 
 “ I ’ m just glad he didn ’ t go poking around in the wheel well. ” She said, “ I have 8 kilos of pure Colombian duct taped in there. ” 
 
 I had the feeling that this was the start of a long and happy marriage. 

