[ WP ] Your 11 year old nephew just ate 2 of your LSD gummy bears 45 minutes ago and you have to make sure he makes it through sane

`` JESSE!'' 
 
 Where the fuck did this kid go? He was sitting in front of the Xbox literally two-fucking-seconds ago. Great... the little shit must've disappeared mid-game. This is seriously gon na fuck up my ratio. 
 
 `` ASSAULT RIFFLE!!!!'' 
 
 Oh. There's Jesse. 
 
 `` Dude, your mom said you ca n't use her work computer. Macs suck anyway. No file structure, yanno. Heh, I honestly do n't even know how you figured out the pass...'' 
 
 `` I'M GON NA SEND THE FAGGOTS TO HELL...'' 
 
 `` Haha, Jesus, man! I can hear that from the kitchen. That's the last time I let you use the mic. That's chat talk, bro. You ca n't go around saying shit like that... you know about Uncle Johnny, right? Look, I know those guys can be brutal when they're playing against a... uhh wait... Jesse?'' 
 
 Ok. My sixth grade nephew is having a little crisis in front of the mirror. 11 year-olds are fucking weirdos, right? He's probably sexually frustraded..er..pubescent... er... horny... gay... Wait... no... he did n't... I did n't... Did I put them on top of the Xbox? 
 
 `` Yo, I'm stop sign right now...'' 
 
 I'm so fucked. 
 
 Yeah, man. You're `` stop sign'' as fuck. You ate not only one LSD gummie, you fucking housed both of them. Dan is going to be pissed. Jen is going to kill me! They're gon na have you committed. You're gon na lose your shit and run off to Arizona to sell healing rocks like that lunatic Chris. I'm going to get arrested. Jen's gon na lose custody to that piece of shit Mike. Think, Gabe, think. What did you and the boys use to do on bad trips. FUCK! Why did she leave me with this kid. I was n't even suppose to be here today! Why did I have to move back here. Fuck Jen! Fuck Mike! I'm gon na be put behind bars....wait... bars... rhymes with....XANAX! Yes! Of course! We took Xanax! Fuck, I got ta get Jesse Xanax. But where can I get it? Mom's old. She's probably got some for the hypertension. Shit, but she's in Delaware for the weekend, and I gave her spare to Johnny so he can pick up Chewie. Fuck it. I'm in this deep... 
 
 `` JESSE!!!'' 
 
 `` I can see my farts, Gabe. They hate me, Gabe. Does dad hate me, Gabe?'' 
 
 `` No man, they love you. Your farts love you. Mike loves you. C'mon let's get in the car. We're breaking into grandma's.'' 
 
 
 

