[ WP ] The stray cats in your neighborhood have been oddly industrious lately . Curious , you follow one to an abandoned lot and find what appears to be a crude spaceship .

Before I start this story, I would just like to say I do n't mean any cats any harm. I really do n't - I mean, come on, I'm practically one of them. Some people even call me catty. Even if I do n't quite get catcalls. 
 
 Yes, I *am* a guy. 
 
 My name is Jaymes - yes, my parents chose to spell it with a `` y'', because well, `` y'' not? Eh, eh? No? 
 
 Okay, anyway. This story begins on an ordinary Tuesday night, just like this one. All week, I had been noticing the stray cats snooping around, moving quite a bit both in the day and at night. Something was brewing - I just assumed it was some sort of cat-turf war or a great Wild Cat Hunt for some rats. So, I decided to follow one particular cat I had fed once or twice. 
 
 The cat had fur that was a brownish hue, like the sort you'd find on wood or chocolate. The sort that seemed just too beautiful for nature to produce. Though that might have just been the dirt. I stalked - or, well, tried to stalk - closely behind it, ducking left and right behind walls like I had seen people do in all the shows and games. And every time I did this, I thought to myself with an imaginary fist pump, `` Juked!'' 
 
 It probably noticed me but continued onward anyway. Slowly, towards an abandoned parking lot, which was barely used even in its heyday, but now laid in a state of discard and disrepair. A few trees had somehow taken root in the worn out cracks of the old cement and concrete surface, brute forcing their way out of the black asphalt in a startlingly violent manner. How did it even grow here? 
 
 It was then that I noticed, through the tiny gaps in the leafy cape that formed the canopy, the blueish black sky that spoke quietly of the night's arrival. I had gotten too caught up in following the cat. Speaking of which - 
 
 The cat was not too far from where I was, having continued its agonizingly slow pace. It walked up to some odd machine - wait, is that a spaceship? - I thought with a great amount of disbelief. I wo n't lie, I really had to take a moment and think just how much I had smoked in the afternoon to be seeing a *spaceship* in broad day - well, night-darkness but it might as well have been daylight for the cats. I had thought the cats were being unusually industrious lately; I just never thought they had an aerospace industry of some sort. 
 
 The brownish cat squatted beside the spaceship and seemed to take a shit. It must have been some severe constipation but eventually, a dry bag of screws came out. Ironically, the cat was n't rusty at keeping the metal screws clean. It licked itself clean afterwards and then stared right at me with glazed eyes that hinted at sentient arrogance. 
 
 I did n't stay around to watch after that. Yes, I outran a genius cat and his companions all the way back home. It was a close and tough fight, filled with all the exciting twists and turns you might expect from a show like Game of Thrones. But I made it. I escaped the cats. 
 
 Seriously, how much weed did I smoke this afternoon?
