[ WP ] A man loses a fight with a lamppost .

`` `` So, who's the victim?'' The detective looked over the sheet-covered cadaver and pulled the hood of his jacket over his head, his breath fogging in the mid-december cold. 
 
 `` Local house-husband, Leibowitz. Witnesses say he was arguing with this here lampost.'' The detective's partner pointed over. `` Some kind of stupid thing- I do n't know, must have slipped on the snow and cracked his neck.'' 
 
 `` So- What you're saying, Jack- Is that this lamppost just committed a homicide?'' Leibowitz turned over to his partner, who, after a moment, merely shrugged and gave a nod. 
 
 `` I - I suppose- No, no, the dumb goof tripped and his his head on the curb, cracked his skull and died. Was probably high on PCP or something, I mean, people say that he was yelling really loud at the thing.'' Jack shrugged. 
 
 `` You-'' Leibowitz drew his sidearm and trained it on the lamppost. `` DOWN ON THE GROUND!'' He shouted with authority. The crowd of nearby police officers and coroner's assistants stared over in confusion. `` I SAID DOWN ON THE GROUND!'' The man screamed at the inanimate object, which stood there projecting light in defiance. 
 
 `` Are you- Wait, what are you doing, man?'' Jack asked, pointing at Leibowitz, who shook his head and steadied his aim. `` It's a fucking lamppost, stop fucking around and put that thing away!'' He waved his arms in frustration. 
 
 `` I SAID DOWN ON THE GROUND!'' 
 
 Leibowitz fired a warning shot into the air- Only for the bullet to collide with a tree branch above the officers and collapse down. The lamppost, hit by the added weight, snapped in half and collapsed onto Leibowitz- For reasons that possibly included the brittle nature of old and non-replaced metal due to the December cold- 
 
 *Or malice. * 
 
 FOUR DAYS LATER 
 
 Jack Harrington placed a flag over his partner's coffin and turned to console the man's shrieking and grieving wife and children. `` Do n't you worry, that maniac **is gon na fry for this**.'' 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 **2023** 
 
 
 The upper half of the snapped lamppost is wheeled into an execution chamber and strapped to an electric chair. With Leibowitz's family in the observation room, the warden of the correctional facility checked his watch, then gave a nod to a hooded man near a switchboard. 
 
 A lethal current is pumped through the lamppost. Liebowitz's wife breaks into tears of relief. At last, her husband is -'' 
 
 `` That's the stupidest thing anyone's ever written.'' /u/SurvivorType interjected, looking across his office desk at /u/lordmalifico with disdain. The man scratched at the stubble on his chin and shook his head. `` A killer lamppost? You do n't write anything for /days/ and when you do it's about a killer lamppost? To top it off, you wrote this at two in the morning?'' 
 
 `` I- It was a prompt.'' /u/lordmalifico stammered, looking over the paper as he'd written it. The man's lip quivered. SurvivorType rubbed the bridge of his nose and finished a double of whiskey. The man stared at lordmalifico and slowly crossed his arms. `` Got any better work? I mean, anything to show that you've been doing something this week?'' 
 
 
 lordmalifico opened his mouth to speak- 
 
 Two hours later, the very same moderator wandered along the side of a road, attempting to catch a ride to another subreddit. Various cars and trucks passed by- With not a single one stopping to help. /u/lordmalifico sighed and continued to walk off [ into the sunset. ] ( http: //www.youtube.com/watch? v=sQ0LSi0wBJo ) 
 
 
 

