[ WP ] Clown Lawyer Drama -- nuff said .


 Boggles stared over the jury, who consisted of various other clowns both male and female dressed in various occupation wear or day-to-day attire. His client, a bald clown with sad facepaint, sat by his defendant table wearing an orange jumpsuit and oversized handcuffs. 
 
 `` Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client is in no way responsible for any form of triple homicide. 
 
 The evidence I've put forward should be compelling reason enough that he did n't do it. With his crippling rheumatoid and health issues, there's no way that in the span of an hour he could have easily killed three individuals with the weapon supplied as evidence.'' He gestured over to the evidence table, with a live jaguar resting comfortably next to a nervous judiciary clerk, a large wooden stick duct-taped along the animal's spine. 
 
 `` I'm asking that you look at the arguments I've given and use your deductive reasoning. My man did n't do it!'' He emphasized, slapping his files against his hand. `` As it stands, my client is innocent and the true murderer remains at large.'' Boggles stared at the jury intensely and briefly scratched at his big red nose. Turning to the judge, he spoke calmly. `` The defense rests, your honor.'' 
 
 Judge Hiram took a drink from a cup of water and glanced over at the prosecution. `` Prosecution, any final statements?'' The clowns present at the prosecution table deliberated for a moment, with the chief prosecutor taking a deep breath. 
 
 `` No, your honor.'' 
 
 
 Thirty minutes. The Jury has been shoved into a comically small deliberation room, all twelve of them, and eventually escorted back into the courtroom with minimal shenanigans. The Foreman slowly rose after being called on by the judge, and spoke with a voice similar to Snagglepus. `` Your honor! We the members of the Jury find the defendant not guilty, haw haw!'' 
 
 The court erupted into rabble, as the defendant was escorted out of the courthouse and onto the front steps, where the media circus was quick to approach the elated clown and his lawyer. `` Sir, sir! How does it feel to be acquitted of these charges?'' A Fox News reporter asked, sticking a microphone into the defendant's face. 
 
 `` I feel as if this is the first day of the rest of my life.'' He spoke with a comical voice. A figure approached through the crowd, smashing a cream pie against the defendant's face. The media erupted into chaos, with the assassin being pulled away. Boggled clutched his client to his chest as the man collapsed, and cried out to the heavens. 
 

