Upon reaching 18 , a person discovers the secret ingredient in their families ' world-renowned pies is something terrible ( and it 's not people )

`` It's shit, Dylan.'' He heard the words very well. They just did n't register. His uncle must have figured that out, because he helpfully added `` Literally, shit.'' 
 
 Just an hour before Dylan was a very happy 18 year old. His family owned one of the largest fortunes in the country, and that was thanks to their legendary pies. 
 
 In the 15th century, one of his ancestors earned great riches and fame making pies for Lorenzo de Medici. His descendants continued the tradition, feeding the rich and powerful until they themselves were the rich and powerful. 
 
 They owned numerous other businesses, but the pie was a tradition. Under 1000 per year. Each worth it's weight in gold. The secret recipe was so secret you could count the number of people that knew it on one hand. Dylan was n't one of them. 
 
 On his 18th birthday, his uncle was supposed to let him in on the secret. And after that he would assume a bigger role in running the company, with the ultimate goal of, eventually, run all of it. 
 
 `` No, really.'' That was n't a funny joke. He eyed his uncle carefully over the empty desk. Maybe that was part of a plan to screw him over over somehow. 
 
 `` It's genetic. In our family shit smells like roses and tastes like cotton candy'' 
 
 `` You are insane. I am absolutely sure mine does not smell like any flower whatsoever.'' He snapped his fingers `` Do n't tell me, that's only supposed to happen after today, right?'' 
 
 `` No, no. Not yours. It skips a generation'' 
 
 `` No fucking way. You're shitting me.'' 
 
 `` No. Did n't you ever wondered why each batch is limited?'' 
 
 `` Sure, increased desirability, if anyone can have it, no one will want it.'' He was starting to get a bad feeling from this. He wiped his palms on his trousers. If he had any idea about how this would go down, he would've bought a handkerchief. 
 
 `` Obviously not. We actually discussed not telling you, since you're useless for that. Kill you and use you in a meat pie. Have your cousin take the rails. `` 
 
 `` What????'' 
 
 `` I want you to know that I voted against that. T'was a tight score, though.'' 
 
 He felt like smashing something, but the office was spartan and pristine. Always so clean, his uncle. If that was a joke, it was a bad one and he needed to put a stop to it. 
 
 `` Are you one of those it did n't skip? Because if you are, I want you to prove it.'' 
 
 `` I was expecting you'd say that.'' 
 
 `` Wow'' was all Dylan could say, when, 15 minutes later, he was staring at a plate with some nice smelling, pink colored diarrhea on it. 
 
 How do you discover that? Obviously, there was that one guy willing to eat shit. 

