[ WP ] Kim-Jong Un has been dead for years , and you 're his imposter .

Journal entry 10-6-2016 
 
 I was visited by an American today. He told me he was with the CIA. I thought spies never told anybody who they were spying for. 
 
 He was a short man, impressive muscular build, Asian descent of some sort, maybe some Hawaiian in his blood line, I could n't really pick it out. He was armed with 2 pistols in armpit holsters. 
 
 He started with, `` we are manufacturing a silent revolution that will take place in front of the world's eyes.'' 
 
 I was confused. 
 
 He knew I was not Kim. He knew I was an imposter, and the stories and photo ops were all bullshit. 
 
 In North Korea, the military is where the power resides. Those holding the decision making process there controll the country's direction: spending, welfare, domestic terrorism, economic policies, everything. 
 
 The keys to this revolution to the transfer of power to the people of North Korea from its military are the UN, the uncensored internet, and me. A Kim imposter. 
 
 The spy never told me his name, I did n't ask. 
 
 I was told that if I am to not participate in this revolution, then I would be replaced and executed. 
 
 I was then served a platter containing 95 Twinkies, 2 packages of double stuffed Oreos, a box of lucky charms and a gallon of vitamin D milk. I was required to eat all of this before bedtime. 5 hours before the sun goes down. 
 
 So I eat. To look like fatso Kim. To take orders from this American spy.
