[ WP ] The Double Edged Sword ...

What exactly am I trying to do here?'Cause I ca n't see it. I should be able to see it if there was anything, I wrote it, but there's nothing. Is this all there is? Pages upon pages of blank prose and twice-blank verse. Why the hell did I write this crap? 
 
 Writing is supposed to be a mirror we hold up to life, a reflection of self. Why then do I see nothing? Have I gone blind in the interim? Have I so fully traveled the subject matter that I find it contemptible, or was there never a subject that mattered in the first place? 
 
 I read the first page and I see there is a man, but I do not know him. It is not a matter of forgetting what I wrote; I know that this man dies much later. I know that he moves between locations in space and time throughout the story, but these places and spaces are neither new or truly unknown to him, as he behaves as if neither is the case. His relationship to that space is thus undefined and meaningless. His passage is almost like a mechanical dictation then, and feels almost like I'm merely charting the position of a boulder rolling downhill fast. 
 
 Four hundred a fifty pages of this! Four hundred and fifty pages of this crap. Y'know, at least a builder has something solid he can look at the end! A bus driver will have seen more of the world at greater depth than most think to remember, all the more for having traveled the same goddamn path one hundred tedious times. A burger flipper will have a tasty burger that he can eat, smash, or hand to someone else. 
 
 I could say I have made kindling but the paper these words are on did not come about through my actions and if not for my intervention could have been put to a more productive use, like photocopying an image of someone's rear. At least then some value. What I have made I can not eat, I can not sleep upon, I can not burn, it will not warm me or do much of anything from now till the instant all copies of it have been destroyed. This entire exercise has been completely self-masturbatory and I wash my hands of all of it. Good night, good bye, and good riddance.
