[ WP ] Maybe if I summon a demon I 'll finally have the perfect soul mate ...

`` Come on lady luck, daddy needs a new car!'' He was shaking his fist as he said it. Then he paused and looked around the room. `` OH FUCK ME!'' 
 
 The demon glared at me. `` Y'know, it's so rare that you lot even try this anymore, much less succeed... fine. Let's get to the meat and potatoes. Whatta ya want?'' 
 
 I cleared my throat. `` I want to meet my soul mate. A perfect love that will last for the rest of my life. In return, I give you this offering.'' I held out a red folder filled with pages. He snatched it up and started reading over them then let loose a gravelly chuckle. 
 
 `` You sir, are a sharp customer. How'd you score this?'' 
 
 I smiled. `` It's really simple. You know why most people do n't even bother trying to summon your kind anymore right?'' 
 
 `` Well, the boys in black downstairs have a lot of different ideas for the answer, so why do n't you tell me?'' 
 
 `` Lack of belief.'' I replied. `` The age of reason, the industrial revolution and all that. No one has room in their world view for things like heaven and hell. You and yours are seen as a superstitious and antiquated idea who's time has gone. So when some goofball like me offers a $ 50 bill, or a bag of weed or tickets to a sneak preview screening of some hot movie, and all they have to do is sign a piece of paper that gives me their soul, or even just a portion thereof... well. You can figure out the rest.'' 
 
 He chuckled again. `` Damn kiddo, you got style. I like that... and I know of someone who'd like you. Like I said, it's rare that people succeed in summoning my lot, and someone like you, that's smart enough to trade using OPS is rarer than hen's teeth. There was someone awhile back though. Let's pop outside and take a walk.'' 
 
 When we exited out my front door, we were no longer in Oregon. Wherever we were seemed a lot warmer and more tropical. 
 
 `` Hawaii.'' 
 
 I turned `` Huh?'' 
 
 He smirked. `` Kid, you were about to ask where we are, and I just saved time by answering.'' 
 
 I nodded and we fell into a silence as we walked towards the beach. Down by the ocean I saw a beautiful woman. Tall, Blonde, mid sized perky tits. Everything I found alluring in a chick. She turned and smiled when she saw us. 
 
 `` Balak! You ol' horn dog, how's tricks?'' 
 
 `` Belinda, good to see you. Tricks are good. I got someone you should meet. This is Kline.'' 
 
 I did n't bother to ask how he knew my name already, seemed kind of pointless. Instead I walked up to her. `` Hey there. Do you come here often?'' 
 
 When we locked eyes, my heart fluttered. Her face went slack for a moment, and then her smile returned with a glowing radiance. Her brow wrinkled in confusion and she looked at Balak. Then she nodded as if in answer to an unspoken question. `` So, how much is this gon na cost me?'' 
 
 `` I'm feelin' generous today toots. It'll be half of what you spent last time we made a deal.'' 
 
 She shook her head. `` I dunno, he's kind of short, 50 souls seems like a lot.'' 
 
 Balak stroked his chin. Then he turned to me. `` Hey kid, what would you offer to be a little bit taller?'' 
 
 `` I dunno... maybe 25 % of what I just paid you?'' 
 
 He smiled. `` DONE!'' I felt a weird, warm burning that was n't painful as the world warped around me. 
 
 Belinda clapped her hands. `` Oh, that's perfect! Listen, Kline, I was thinking of going to the picture show this afternoon. I've been meaning to see the new one with that DiCaprio chap. Seems like he might finally get one of those gold statues that have become all the rage. Would you care to join me?'' 
 
 I put an arm around her. `` Belinda my dear, I'd be delighted.'' 
 
 ***** 
 
 Later that evening we lay in bed wrapped in each others arms. `` I'll have to make some travel arrangements tomorrow.'' I told her. 
 
 `` Oh?'' 
 
 `` Yeah, I got ta go back to Oregon and get some things sorted.'' 
 
 `` Well, I can charter a private jet to fly you out there and back.'' 
 
 `` That'll work.'' I got up and went to the bathroom to take a piss. When I got back she was putting on a robe. `` Darling, we must go out to see the moonrise, it's simply magical this time of year.'' 
 
 As we stood outside, she smiled. `` Y'know, I ca n't help but think of Thomas Edison at times like this. He'd be so in love with all the modern wonders of the world. He used to rattle on and on about where the future would take people.'' 
 
 `` You knew Thomas Edison?'' 
 
 `` Oh yes. He made some deals with a friend of Balak's to get a leg up. Later on he made another deal to take a competitor out of the game. In case you're wondering, I was incredibly old even then. I hope that's not going to be a problem darling.'' 
 
 I rubbed her shoulders. `` Not at all. I might see about getting some kind of eternal youth thing my self.'' 
 
 `` Well, if you do, wait a few decades. I like men with a little bit of grey in their hair. So, how'd a youngin like you figure out how to summon a demon?'' 
 
 `` Trial and error mostly. Lotta reading through bullshit.'' 
 
 `` Oh yes, there's so much floating around out there. The boys downstairs are responsible for most of it. Helps keep the riff raff from crowding them with nonsense requests. How'd you figure out the trick with pentagram?'' 
 
 `` You mean setting it perpendicular to the ground?'' She nodded. `` There's a short story by Larry Niven that uses the idea. I figured it was worth a try.'' 
 
 `` You'll have to show me some of his writing one day. Tell me darling, have you ever made love by moonlight?'' 
 
 A few hours later, I would have a different answer to that question that the one I had just then.
