[ WP ] Even though it 's happened to many professions before now , I never expected my job to become obsolete .

`` Would you like your feces scooped up for you, sir?'' Martha Blenderface asked with a glint on her teeth as she stopped her pace in the middle of First Class and addressed a grumpy looking business man with his feet cocked up in the air. A gigantic turd was seeping through the hole in his convenience seat and Martha was there to scoop it on up! 
 
 `` No, you fucking peasant,'' he scoffed. `` I have a robot to do that now!'' He took his briefcase, a Convenience Carrier, out of the convenience pouch in front of his convenience chair and conveniently slid a Convenience Bot out of it. The robot was a mechanical disc with a small scooper in the middle of it and it clung magnetically to the bottom of the convenience chair, nabbing the poo before it dropped into the poo bucket, where Martha Blenderface would have gotten paid fifteen cents to scoop it up. 
 
 `` Well, robots ca n't do everything for you, sir!'' She protested. 
 
 `` What do you want?'' He grumbled through his flappy jowels. 
 
 `` Well, do n't you need someone to wipe your asshole for you?'' She inquired politely. 
 
 `` Get away demon-whore, the robot can do that too!'' With that, he pressed a button on its disc-frame and it vaporized the poo it held lovingly and then jammed a hose into the blubbery bullet shaped man's gaping asshole, spraying down the insides of his guts until the bucket below as covered in a brown mist. 
 
 `` Well, ca n't I at least clean off your shit bucket?!'' she panicked. 
 
 `` ROBOTS!'' He barked and pressed another button. The pooper scooper machine dropped into the bucket and a swiffer emerged from the bottom of it, wiping up all the brown mist and then vaporizing the swiffer. After it was finished, the words, 
 
 `` Fuck you Biatch,'' played mechanically from small speakers that sat on the side of the disk. Martha Blenderface stared in shock. Never had she been so upstaged by a machine. Except for that time when her boyfriend broke up with her for a Real Doll. Or that time when her roommate asked her to move out so that she could hang out with her Real Doll. Or that time when her parents disowned her because they had purchased a Real Doll. Or that time when she was trying to clean up people's poop in First Class and she was upstaged by some stupid disc robot... wait that time was RIGHT NOW! 
 
 She walked over to another flight attendant. 
 
 `` Well, I guess that's it for the poop scooper contractors,'' she sighed. 
 
 `` Well, why's that?'' Her colleague, Brenda Feedingcatscoolantinajunkyard asked. 
 
 `` Droids,'' she explained monosyllablically. 
 
 `` Well that sucks harder than a Thai hooker with fifteen holes in her face!'' 
 
 `` Well, even though it's happened to many professions before now, I never expected my job to become obsolete,'' explained Martha Blenderface. 
 
 `` Wait a minute...'' Brenda Feedingcatscoolantinajunkyard stated suspiciously. Martha Blenderface looked at her, eyes wide and concerned. 
 
 `` Whatever is wrong?'' she asked. Brenda Feedingcatscoolantinajunkyard narrowed her eyes. 
 
 `` You ARE a robot!'' she yelled. `` ANDROID! ANDROID ON THE PLANE!'' She screamed frantically. Everyone got up and unbuckled their seatbelts even though such a thing is just downright fucking uncouth to do until the `` Seatbelts Buckled'' signs are switched off. A the fat man with the pooper scooper robot smashed Martha Blenderface's head and a titanium skull was revealed, with glaring red eyes permeating from underneath. 
 
 The Terminator Robot that was Martha Blenderface ripped the fat stubby blob man into two gelatinous pieces and laughed like this: `` Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. You died funny. Ha. Ha. Ha.'' 
 
 The pilot busted open the cabin door and screamed `` HOT CROSS BUNS!'' at the Terminator Robot, whose insides exploded with popcorn and caused the android to short circuit and die. 
 
 `` Goddamn! These new popcorn makers are a real bitch!'' exclaimed the Captain. And so ended the life of the popcorn maker, Martha Blenderface who once held a job as a manual pooper scooper. Rest in Peace.
