[ WP ] You form a pact with the monster in your closet to work together in order to get rid of your terrible roommate .

`` Frickin' Brad.'' 
 
 Joe shivered in his covers, freezing cold from the wind blowing in from the broken window on the other side of the room. He'd just gotten home from a long day of work, but found the window shattered upon entering the room. Upon heated confrontation, his roommate, Brad, explained that he'd just gotten his new golfing clubs that afternoon, and he did n't want to wait until he met with his buddies on the weekend to try them out. He decided to go into Joe's room to practice his swing but sent the club flying through the window due to his poor grip. Though he played golf, he was a little challenged. He had his faults, but he still tried, right? 
 
 Either way, this was n't the first time this has happened. Brad was a huge golfing enthusiast, and often while practicing at home, he'd sent hundreds of balls through hundreds of window panes, costing hundreds of dollars. It could n't have been his fault, though. Must've just been the clubs. 
 
 Joe sighed. Either way, he'd have to fix that window sometime tomorrow. It was late and he did n't want to have to buy a new pane at this time of night. In the meantime, he'd blockaded it with some duct-taped cardboard, but it still let in a heck of a draft. `` Frickin' Brad,'' Joe felt compelled to exhale one more time to himself. 
 
 `` Dude, I know right?'' said a voice from the closet. Joe's breathing stopped. He looked over to the closet door towards the foot of the bed. Cold sweat formed on his forehead. 
 
 `` Um... hello?'' Joe called out to the darkness. 
 
 `` Hi, Joe. I'm Phil. Nice to meet you,'' the voice from behind the closet said. It was raspy and deep, totally unlike that of a human. Well, it kinda sounded like Jason Beghe, but that only sounded normal in the context of a popular, currently airing police drama. 
 
 `` Hey... Phil,'' Joe called out to the closet one more time. Joe was unsure what to do. Was this guy an intruder? Was he going to kill him? Why did he sound like Jason Beghe? Joe sat in silence for a minute or two, contemplating what course of action to pursue. One wrong move could lead to his ultimate and untimely demi -- 
 
 `` You know, Brad,'' the voice from the closet rudely said to no one in particular. `` this is exactly why no one likes you. You never shut up, you're always making excuses to Phil as to why there seems to be another broken window every other day, and you feel the need to climb into the attic and narrate -- well, more like yell down into the house every time something unfortunate happens. I may be some monster in the closet, but it's really annoying, Brad.'' 
 
 `` I'd have to agree with... Phil here,'' Joe chimed in when no one asked him to. `` It's extremely annoying. Wait, you're a monster, Phil?'' 
 
 `` Well, yeah, but I would n't hurt you, Joe. You seem like a nice guy, especially after hearing you dealing with Brad for all these months. You're a patient guy, and I admire you for putting up with that a-hole for all this time. He's just a whiny baby that wo n't ever take responsibility for his own actions.'' I'll have you know, Phil, that I recently got a part-time job, and have put in a little aside to help with ren -- 
 
 `` I do n't wan na hear it, Brad,'' Phil fired, being especially rude and a huge meanie to someone who does n't deserve it. `` You suck, and that's that. And you do n't even have a job. You were going to say that to Joe in order to get him off your back for being a freeloader, but in reality, you just want to be able to go to the golfing place you always go to during the week instead of just on the weekends. Now that's an a-holey-thing to do, man.'' What?? That's not true at al -- 
 
 `` *Are you kidding me? You were going to do that to me, Brad?? You're the worst roommate ever! *'' No, you are! 
 
 `` **I've had enough, Brad! **'' Phil suddenly roared after nowhere, hurting the eardrums of the kind man in the attic. `` **You're going down! ** You do n't mind, do you, Joe?'' 
 
 `` Um, just do n't kill him, okay?'' Joe said, a little scared. Kinda like a baby. `` I'd been looking for a position to confront him about moving out, but I never could actually do it. I'd really appreciate it, Phil.'' 
 
 `` Fine, but you got it, Joe,'' Phil said menacingly. `` Mind closing your eyes for a sec? I'm not much of a sight to behold.'' 
 
 `` Uh, sure, Phil.'' Phil closed his eyes like a little scaredy-cat. Brad, then started to sneak away quietly and quickly, without notice, down the stairs, into the kitchen, and out the back doo -- **AHHH! **'' 
 
... 
 
 *All was quiet throughout the house, suddenly. Joe held still with his eyes shut, just to make sure Phil still had enough time to move back into the room and enter the closet again. He was n't sure how terrifying he could be, but he resolved to trust Phil's word. He would've tried to imagine what Phil could've been doing to Brad to keep him away, but he decided not to as an effort of ignorant bliss. He was sure Phil would n't do anything that would lead Joe into legal consequences. * 
 
 *After a while, he noticed the room got significantly warmer. Opening his eyes, he noticed that the window was repaired, and a heater was plugged into the wall next to the closet. That must be why. * 
 
 *With the security of a quiet and warm night, he tucked himself deeper into his covers and closed his eyes. Phil seems like a good replacement. *
