[ WP ] Two alien bros are watching the Super Bowl from space , trying to figure out what the fuck those humans are doing .

`` Hyshaj ajhdjjw ahidii nu ahhd aihdo,'' Xeryt stated to his companion Dyhjit. What he had said, translated for terran audiences, amounted to: *They just flipped a coin, it fills me with great confusion*. 
 
 `` *A coin? That's preposterous! This has been widely advertised on their planet for months and they leave it to chance?! To what end?!'' * Dyhjit ( *Darrel* ) exclaimed. 
 
 `` *Well, it seems they are deciding which of their sounders will take the oblong through the gauntlet and which of their sounders will create the gauntlet. * `` Xeryt ( *Chad* ) noted. The more patient of the two cosmic warthogs rubbed his left most horn with derision. `` *It appears to me that after their first skirmish, a second skirmish will commence with the gauntlet sounders on the'offensive'. * `` 
 
 The two warthogs watched the human dally the night away. Darrel and Chad traded notes on the absurdity of allies battling each other for sport. The humans were as bold to call it sport which perplexed the spacehogs 12 AUs away even more. 
 
 `` *It appears they deem this sport a mere game. * `` Darrel said exasperated. 
 
 `` *An even more treacherous foe then we had even imagined* `` Chad continued. 
 
 `` *Oh shit, did you see that hit? * `` 
 
 `` *Dude*, `` a word Chad had picked up from a Doritos commercial, `` *He's not getting up. That's fucking brutal! * `` 
 
 `` *Do you think they would allow warthogs to play? * `` Darrel asked curiously. 
 
 `` *I watched one of their other channels this week in preparation for their customs. It appears that a man named Bear Grylls hunts and eats warthogs. Also for sport. * `` Chad offered solemnly. He watched the look of optimism fall from his comrade's face. 
 
 `` *Oh. * `` Darrel said at last. `` *Well, let's see what this Coldplay event is all about. * `` 
 
 It was after that fateful halftime show that the Warthog Cluster declared war on Earth. Though their ranks were dismayed by the sheer tenacity of the human race, it was unanimously agreed that an evil as vile as `` Coldplay,'' could not continue to persist. 
 
 `` *Dude, we should start playing football, it would be totally asstacular if the bros from the Cluster could have fun like that, * `` Chad told his friend Darrel as they board the *Suckling Mig* battlecruiser, piecing together words from other televised human events. He almost sounded envious. 
 
 `` *Yea, brah, it would horn the gnarly* ``
