[ WP ] The most powerful warrior in all the land wants to hire you as a bodyguard . You ca n't help but wonder why ...

“ You, you want me to what? ” I stuttered, certain that I probably looked like my eyes were about to bulge out of my head from disbelief as I stared at the man across from me. 
 
 
 “ I just need you to be my guard, it ’ ll only be for a little while. You won ’ t have to worry about your food, armor or weapons, I ’ ll provide you with everything. I ’ ll pay you well, money won ’ t be an issue, I ’ m good for it. ” 
 
 
 Obviously it wouldn ’ t be, the man was Hayden the Hero of Hammerfell. A gladiator that had risen among the many due to his cunning and strength. He ’ d made his fortune in the arena and was victorious on any battlefield he was pointed towards. The muscles on his forearms were larger than my head and there didn ’ t seem to be an inch of his body that didn ’ t represent the pinnacle of physical perfection. *If he wakes up looking this perfect, I ’ m going to be sick... * 
 
 
 He couldn ’ t be seriously asking me, a local barmaid to be his bodyguard. 
 
 
 “ But I ’ m not a fighter. I ’ m not built like... well.. ” I gestured to him, trying to make it as apparent as I could without outright stating the differences between us. 
 
 
 He paused and looked at me with some odd form of puzzlement in his eyes. 
 
 
 “ Oh. ” He seemed to shift from acting unsettled to simply uncomfortable. 
 
 “ It doesn ’ t matter that you ’ re not..erm..like me. People will make assumptions, you just have to look the part. They ’ ll fill out the rest with their imagination and fuel it with rumours. They ’ ll more than likely assume that you ’ re an assassin. ” 
 
 
 “ So... why not just hire an assassin? ” 
 
 
 “ And risk them killing me? At least I know you won't. ” 
 
 
 `` You mean ca n't...'' I corrected him. `` But if someone attacks, I ’ ll be useless. ” 
 
 
 “ You ’ ll be enough of a distraction that I ’ ll be able to get the upper hand, just try not to get hurt. ” 
 
 
 “ Ah, I see. Should I shout taunts while I ’ m at it? Bang some pots and pans and hope I get their attention? ” I couldn ’ t keep the bitterness out of my tone at the thought of being no better than bait. 
 
 
 “ Don ’ t take it that way... ” For a moment he looked like he was honestly concerned that he'd hurt my feelings. 
 
 “ You could hire anyone to do this. Why me? ” 
 
 “ You could use the money and I just need a little bit of time to find who ’ s trying to have me killed. Besides, I ’ m not going to lie, you bake a pretty great pie. ” 

