[ WP ] You are a dog who is trying to kill its master , but the family 's cat stops you at every turn .

I've resented my owner and our weak and frivolous existence together for a very long time. My ancestors roamed the plains, intelligent strong hunters, free to have their own destiny and not submit to the will of man's desires. You only have to glimpse at of the poodle to realize man has been playing god for their twisted desires. My owner is a typical human. Commands me to sit and fetch, roll over. It sickens me how nature has let this happen. 
 
 So to leave my mark of discontent on history. I waited for July the 4th to roll around, when a handful of our neighbours & family members gathered in our back yard to watch this pitiful fireworks display that we put on every year. 
 
 During the evening I had been keeping my eye on the big man, waiting for the moment he'd sneak off. Sure enough as the party was well under way he made a crafty dash into the house, This signaled the start of the grand plan. He burst out of the basement, clutching a large rocket in arms with a dumb glean of pride on his face as if he had slain a giant beast and was bringing the spoils of the hunt to the pack. 
 
 Everyone watched as he sets up this expensive monstrosity of nature, with their faces of gratitude and anticipation. I could feel my tail beginning to twitch as my master bends down to ignite the fuse. Before lighting it, he turns to the crowd `` Everyone get ready to watch this, its going to be a big one!'' he cries. I could feel a build up of energy accumulating in my tail area. Then it was lit, I exploded onto the scene like a jack in the box. Propelled by the spring in my tail. My master was retreating to a safe spot near the crowd. I came charging towards the rocket and yanked that sucker right out the ground clinching it with my teeth. A loud communal gasp erupted. I swivel my whole body around in a tight half turn desperately trying to keep track of my master, worrying I'd lose him amongst the guests. 
 
 The smell, the noise, the heat and bright sparks disrupting my vision. I had overlooked all of this in my plan and time was starting to tick down as I had indeed lost my pray. I run towards the left side of the crowd stopping six or seven meters away and begin to shake my head franticly up and down as if it were a loaded gun. I wanted to enticing him out. Nothing, and time is sizzling away. I turn to the right side of the crowd and repeat the same motion as if to say'come out and fight me you pathetic coward'. I pause for a moment to try to figure out what I'm going to do if he chooses to cower away. I turn my head towards the house looking for ideas. Then all of a sudden I hear'OIIII, Down boy!' I turn back, It's my master. He emerges from the crowd with a feeble attempt to command me to drop his prized explosive. 
 
 We face off, This is it. My moment of revenge for our species, all the floppy eared puggles and Shih Tzu's that man has tainted. This is it. I look at him and tilt my down as if I'm going to drop the rocket. I sense he relaxes as he feels in command. So I bounce to my back legs and stretch out my front body like I'm preparing to run and cause as much damage as possible. And this rocket is going to go off and we both know it. This causes him to urgently step closer towards me into the open, `` Drop it boy'' he yells with a misguided sense of authority. I wish I had more time to play with him but I can sense this thing about to go off so I raise back up into a standing position and open my mouth to drop it. The rocket lands pointing towards him. What happens now is in natures chaotic hands.... 
 
 pheeeeeeew, the rocket screeches through the air and is spiralling right for him. My luck is in, I ca n't believe I'm going to revenge the world with his own weapon. My master realizes he has been caught out away from cover, he instantly cowers at the incoming projectile and tries to shield his head with various parts of his body. Everything has worked out perfectly, until of course that damn cat decides upon herself to intervenes. She leaps up out of thin air between my master I, like a referee in a boxing match. Her body is stretched long and by some miracle manages to bat the tip of the rocket with his agile butt sending the rocket's trajectory skywards where it shortly explodes in a sorrowing shower of defeat followed by cheers from the nieve onlookers. Who could believe it!? seriously, all that effort and emotional investment ruined by an cat that has survived through laziness. Nature would n't have allowed that to happen in the wild, the Lion would've seen to that.
