[ WP ] A mad scientist is trying to get his work peer reviewed , but his unorthodox lab practices are raising a few issues .

`` You want *me* to review your latest project?'' 
 
 `` Yes yes, of course!'' Dr. Neitz slurred his words as he spoke. If you did n't know him you'd think he was drunk, but it was just the way he talked. Must have been some kind of freak accident or something. I was shocked at his request, but accepted. 
 
 `` Yeah, sure. Why not.'' I'm not sure why he asked me to review his findings, as I'm not particularly well established around here. His qualifications dwarf my own. He was, but... there was a rumor mill that surrounded him. People in our lab and others typically, well, avoided him entirely. He was just odd. Sometimes he would show up to work in nothing but a lab coat. Last week he was caught with what appeared to be a body wrapped in a rug he was dragging outside. When questioned he merely replied'Fuck the Police' and continued what he was doing. 
 
 Regardless, he provided invaluable research for our organization, so I was obliged to help in whatever way I could. He handed me the folder, and jumped in place giddily as I opened it. I took a step away from him and started to read through it. He clapped his hands in anticipation. 
 
 At first it seemed normal enough, a hypothesis that seemed plausible followed by some references to previous experiments on the subject. Unfortunately, I continued to the actual experiment. I could n't fathom why this man needed a dozen Chihuahuas and 40 gallons of milk to conduct an experiment regarding the conductivity of electricity in space, let alone the numerous assault rifles listed. 
 
 `` Uhm, about these materials, what-'' 
 
 `` Oh oh do n't worry about that, that's HR's job. Look at the rest!'' He jumped up and down. I was a bit taken back by the lack of professionalism, but continued. I wish I had n't. You *don't* want to know what he needed those things for. He never even mentioned what happened to the Siamese alligators, or the yellow cake uranium. 
 
 Somehow, by the end of his experiment log he did provide evidence to confirm his hypothesis, a major stride in our research efforts. It was amazing, especially how he thought to use the chihuahuas. A lot of it made sense, even though I did n't want it to. By the looks of it, all those panthers lives did n't go in vain after all. I handed him his paper back. 
 
 `` Well, Dr. Neitz, it looks... good. You've done good work with this.'' He pumped a fist in the air and released a primal roar. His howl attracted the attention of anybody in the vicinity, making my face go red with embarrassment for us both. Without so much as a thank you, he grabbed the folder and crab walked away. Shaking my head, I put my headphones back in and resumed mopping.
