[ WP ] The hero is tasked with saving the damsel in distress from the beast . Just when he 's about to slay it , the creature responds with its dying breath : `` Kill me if you wish , but please never let her come to harm . ''

`` Ya so that's what happened man. That's what he said, direct quote'kill me if you wish, but please never let her come to harm''' The knight in gold armor said as he stood behind a man standing with his back to him, on a balcony overlooking the town beneath the castle. 
 
 `` So what did you do? Did you kill him?!?'' Said the king, turning to the knight angrily. 
 
 `` Well so we all sat down, and this is what I'm here to talk to you about... we all sat down and talked. Because that was pretty confusing you know, for me. Him saying that. And I think me showing up was pretty confusing for them... I mean she was hollering at me not to do it the whole time, and so all things considered we just sat dow and had a talk and it turns out she's been treated well and he's a fine provider and I mean I was really about to cut this guy up m'lord... there's no way he was lying about how much he cares about her. They're in love.'' The knight shrugged a little. The kings face softened, and then looked confused. 
 
 `` So... their in love... she was n't kidnapped?'' 
 
 `` No no, see apparently they've been sending you letters.'' The knight walked towards the door and from a small drawer in the doorside chest of drawers, produced several envelopes. `` This one says that she's very much in love with Beast and hopes you'll understand. This next one starts talking about how you're lack of a response leads her to believe that you're not ok with their union.'' 
 
 `` Is she mad?'' 
 
 `` Well I really messed the place up, I mean I burst in there shouting that I was sent by The One and Only King, put my foot through his good fireplace cover immediate you know, BAM... and I might have shouted some stuff about him and his beastness... things that might not be very PC... and I might have been shouting them while I beat him down which may have been why I did n't hear her telling me to stop.'' The knight scratched his chin. `` You know come to think of it they were still pretty upset when I left... I might have killed some kind of talking clock... the word bigot was uttered m'lord, certainly. But hey, she's safe and in love, we could n't have known, now we do.'' 
 
 `` Well this is... it's good my daughter is safe.'' 
 
 `` I think it's time you embraced this new fad called reading m'lord. See this just went from normal cause and effect for our time period, you know princess kidnapped, kidnapper murdered by knight, princess returned... to ignorant possible hate assault on a non-human by a knight hired by the angry illiterate backwater king... I think we really need to do damage control here.'' 

