[ WP ] For a year , you 've been working on a homemade rocket to launch into space . It successfully launches , takes a video , then returnes . As you open the rocket to watch the video , some men in suits start running towards you . You watch the video : The Earth is flat .

*Run run run, take a drag or two. You got ta run run run... * 
 
 
 I do n't know why the song stuck with me. I was running of course, but that was the end of the similarity. The men in suits were not DEA. They were n't here to bust me for the weed in my pocket or the LSD in my house. 
 
 
 I ran through the streets and through the alleys. It was the best way to lose them. I stripped as I ran and soon I was naked. It made me stand out more, but I figured they had to have some sort of tracking on my clothes. 
 
 
 They had just come so fast, man. The video was near its end when I saw them coming. I hardly had the time to take another hit before I really had to go. I knew they would not let me live. They could not let me live after everything I had learned. 
 
 
 You will never believe this, but that is because you are indoctrinated and controlled. Listen closely and you may be freed. I had discovered the secret to space flight. It was night and I was home. The air was filled with smoke and good vibes and I think that stopped the government's transmission. I could think straight and I designed a rocket. A rocket made out of light cardboard and with metallic propulsion and with a GoPro for balance and to record. 
 
 
 It was a stroke of genius, as you can imagine. Using the Earth's natural magnetic waves I figured out that the forks would bounce off the ground and vibrate similar to what those opera singers do. Those vibrations would act like a bird flapping its wings and the rocket would take off. With light cardboard, it would easily clear the atmosphere. Genius, as I've said. 
 
 
 And so I did it. I went outside and flung the rocket. The first few times I hit the neighbor's window but that was because I usually never do physical activity when I'm high and so I was unaccustomed. 
 
 
 The second time it worked and the rocket took off. It looked like a penis against the dark. Then it was gone and I cheered loudly. 
 
 
 Inside, I waited. I did more acid to prevent the government mind control. It took the entire night as the Earth is big. But finally, it came. As the dawn broke, I saw my rocket lying on the ground, not two feet away from where I hurled it. I rushed to get it and was cheering at the top of my lungs. My neighbors were incensed. They work for the government and so I should have known what was going to happen. 
 
 
 I took off the GoPro and watched the footage. Through the smoke and colors and voices and the comfortable smell of sweat, I saw the truth. 
 
 
 I always knew the Earth was flat, but this was undeniable proof. As I had launched the rocket, the camera captured the take off. I saw myself looking up and then I got smaller and then the video cut to the spinning of the rocket. But that was enough. That was undeniable proof. 
 
 
 If the Earth was round, how come I did n't see the curvature when I threw it up? Why was there only my concrete yard and my face and then the cardboard rocket spinning? If the Earth was really a ball, would n't I see space in the distance and the houses falling off the horizon? An intelligent man would think so. And so I had proof. 
 
 
 Just then the men came. They had pulled up and caught me watching my life changing discovery. I had no time to think and so I took another hit of acid and ran out as fast as I can. 
 
 
 *You got ta run run run... * 
 
 
 That old song. As I stripped naked I wondered if Lou Reed knew the truth. Maybe that's why I thought of that song? 
 
 
 *He died so unexpectedly did n't he? * 
 
 
 And it all made sense. I ran through the alleys naked and closed my eyes. The men in suits were catching up and I heard dogs barking. 
 
 
 `` THE EARTH IS FLAT! THE EARTH IS FLAT!'' I bellowed. 
 
 
 They were going to catch me. It was all I could do. 
 
 
 `` CHECK THE GOPRO FOR PROOF!'' 
 
 
 Then they tackled me. My genitals hurt from the fall and I felt the body of a government man on top of me. Another stood to the side and I saw the letters DEA. 
 
 
 *So they read my mind while I was running. Clever. * 
 
 
 But I knew they were n't DEA. They took me away in a big van and I saw my neighbor stare out and smiling vengefully. 
 
 
 *Figures, * I thought. 
 
 
 I closed my eyes and thought of how close I was to exposing the truth. 
 
 
 These days they have me in a new mind control center. They call it'DETOX'. They have taken away my weed and acid and so I am at their mercy when it comes to the radio waves. I fear that soon I will forget everything and become a G-Man. I can only hope that someone else succeeds where I had failed.
