[ WP ] Planet continuity has been utterly shattered , and now doorways almost never lead to where they 're supposed to go . Which is really interesting and all , but you REALLY need to get to work .

Now I've done it. From the flashlight app on my cellphone, I ascertain that I have somehow ended up in the stomach of... some woman, judging from the voice I'm hearing from overhead. From what I'm hearing, she appears to be ordering food at a drive-thru, which means I'm going to have company soon. 
 
 I had completely forgotten that, while the doors on the third bus at my stop sent me directly to the bus stop in front of my workplace, the doors on the second bus would send people... anywhere, really -- just so long as there is a doorway at the other end. I had the doorways I needed to take in a normal day mapped out in my mind -- I just lost count of how many buses I had seen stop. I'd heard the horror stories of people who had chosen a wrong door in the days after the `` Rearrangement'', but I did n't think that the `` Rearrangement'' considered the sphincters of a human digestive tract actual `` doorways'', nor did I know that the `` Rearrangement'' would resize a person to a size appropriate for the new environment he or she stepped in. I'm wondering why they never got rid of that second bus, and how humans have n't yet starved to death as the food they ate never reached its destination. Maybe it works differently for different people and different objects. Now I'm floating in someone else's gastric acid, and it's starting to sting a little. It's also very hard to breathe. 
 
 I hear additional noises from above, and I aim my cellphone's flashlight at the source. It sounds like a wet, sloppy grinding noise; the sound of something moving against wet... rock? I see what appears to be the sphincter that deposited me here suddenly get penetrated by something, which then falls to the acid bath I'm currently marinating in, splashing me with more of this gastric fluid. Ahh, she's eating now. Fantastic. I really need to find a way out of here before I'm digested along with the... hamburger she's eating. Or before I asphyxiate. Or crushed by falling, sticky food. Oh, gross, really? *Diet* coke? Must be a fatty. This stomach does appear rather large, but I'm not really up to speed on how big a human stomach should be, as compared to how big the human itself should be. 
 
 Wait, *Diet* coke? An idea forms as I withdraw the mentos out of my pocket. Mentos and Diet coke make an explosive reaction, right? I empty the contents into the bath, and am rewarded by a frothing, bubbling concoction. I guess her stomach must have constricted to let the gas out, because I'm being shoved upwards towards the sphincter that brought me here in the first place. I grab the doorway and am pulled through by the pressure. I close my eyes as the reverberations of an apologetic belch reach my ears... 
 
 I'm now lying... on the hood of someone's car? Nope, a truck. It's parked on the side of a residential street. Judging from the pain I'm in and the condition of the vehicle's hood, I must have landed with some impact. The air smells fresher here, although I do still smell the odors of whatever poor lady's stomach each time I take a breath. 
 
 I slowly roll off the side of the truck's engine compartment, gingerly placing my feet on the curb -- right beside a manhole cover, which seems to have made its own impact into the sidewalk. I walk around the front of the truck and find the open manhole in the street on the other side. That must be where I came here through. I look around, and notice I'm in what looks like the suburbs of a city -- but not the city I live and work in, judging by the skyline to the north. I'm then wondering how many others have also ended up in someone else's stomach, only to succumb because they did n't find a lucky way out before they died -- when I hear someone clearing their throat. I turn around, noticing the sudden ache in my back. 
 
 An elderly man is shuffling closer to me. Others are crowding around me, but the old man seems to bear more importance than the rest. Also, I probably smell like a dead fish or something, which could account for the noses I'm seeing plugged. I really need to take a shower, or maybe even a full bath after this is over. 
 
 The old man finally says something. `` Bad doorway?'' 
 
 `` You can say that,'' I reply. 
 
 `` How bad?'' a woman asks, from behind me. I turn around to face her, just in time to see her pinch her nose. 
 
 `` I was in someone's stomach before ending up here.'' 
 
 `` Oh, wow. That explains a lot,'' she says, giggling. I look at her more closely, noticing she is definitely *not* fat, nor is she holding a half-eaten hamburger and diet coke. `` I did n't think that was possible. You would have to be... downsized to maybe a couple inches or so. Did you happen to take any pictures?'' 
 
 I did n't think I had, but I notice my flashlight app is still on, so I look at my screen. Sure enough, this particular app automatically starts a video recording whenever the flashlight is activated. `` Better,'' I say, smiling, and ending the video recording and the flashlight app. `` I got video. Want to see?'' 
 
 `` Noo, no thanks!'' She steps backwards as I walk towards her to show her my phone. 
 
 `` Ahh, sorry about that,'' I say, remembering that I still need a bath after my trip. 
 
 `` You look like you took a nasty fall, mister,'' the old man speaks. `` Are you sure you're all right?'' 
 
 `` Yep.'' An awkward silence ensues before I then ask, `` Sooo. Where am I? Seattle?'' 
 
 A few people pipe up this time, `` Yes, Seattle.'' 
 
 The woman asks me `` Where did you come from?'' 
 
 `` Miami, Florida''. 
 
 `` Ooh, that stinks.'' 
 
 `` Hey, at least I did n't end up in China, or maybe in some fly's intestines or something,'' I say, relieved. 
 
 My next task is to somehow find my way to a bath tub, a laundromat, and a restaurant ( in that order, hopefully ). I am very hungry, for some reason.
