[ WP ] You have are a criminal who is carrying out his sentence in a prison built in the belly of a massive whale . They say the prison is inescapable . They are wrong .

For the first few hours within my jail cell which, by the way, is located inside of a whale's belly, I merely sat quietly and thought. I had a lot of questions. First I wondered why they felt the need to put me inside of a whale *and* inside of a jail cell. More importantly, how did they build a jail cell inside of a whale without, like, cutting it in half and killing it? Probably some sort of ship-in-a-bottle type method. 
 
 Anyway, the concrete in the cell never fully set ( as it turns out, whales have quite a bit of water inside of them ), so I've got free roam up in this whale belly full of metal bars and goopy concrete. 
 
 Here's the best part: this whale, who is miraculously yet implausibly still alive, has a fully functional digestive system. What this means, in layman's terms, is that I should be pooped out by noon and committing crimes again by 1 [. ] ( http: //www.twitter.com/mattpasscomedy )
