[ WP ] After dying , God asks you : `` So , how was heaven ? ''

I did n't think anything could hit me harder than that telephone pole at speeds well over one-hundred miles per hour, but that was only moments before I was hit and blinded by the light. Not just blinded, but revved up like a deuce, just another runner in the night. 
 
 `` So, how was it?'' the light asked. 
 
 Shielding my eyes I attempted to stare in the direction of the voice. 
 
 `` How was, what?'' I asked. 
 
 `` Heaven.'' 
 
 I paused for a second and attempted to gather my thoughts. 
 
 `` Well, are you kicking me out already? I just got here.'' 
 
 There was a deep laugh - almost jolly of sorts, if you had to apply an adjective to it - not much unlike the Santa Claus laugh portrayed in movies, but less... optimistic. 
 
 `` No, no, I'm not kicking you out. In fact, I may send you back in.'' 
 
 `` I'm sorry, but I do n't understand,'' I said. `` Back in where?'' 
 
 `` Heaven.'' 
 
 And then, it clicked. 
 
 `` Wait. Are you telling me Heaven is a place on earth?'' 
 
 The light nodded. I do n't know how I made this determination, but it did. 
 
 `` It's a place where love comes first. It's a world where you're just beginning to understand the miracle of living. And if you were afraid, be afraid no more,'' God said. 
 
 `` That's... deep.'' 
 
 `` No, it's Belinda Carlisle. I sent her as a messenger years ago, but no one truly listened.'' 
 
 `` It was probably because of the hair...'' 
 
 `` It was definitely because of the hair...'' God agreed. 
 
 `` So,'' I stammered, `` Now what?'' 
 
 The light sighed and weighed its options. After a moment, it continued. 
 
 `` OK, how about a do over? I'm sending you back to heaven for a chance to do it the right way this time.'' 
 
 I was speechless. At a loss for words. 
 
 `` Than...'' 
 
 `` And I need you to take a defensive driving course. Buy a bigger vehicle. Wear your seatbelt.'' 
 
 `` Yes sir...'' 
 
 `` And sorry about your face. You're probably going to have a few scars after this one.'' 
 
 `` All good, God. All. Good.''
