[ WP ] You 've been horribly depressed for as long as you can remember . Your life is falling apart . A week ago , an experimental treatment has been announced that lets depression sufferers face their sickness . You are among the few that have been selected for the first human trials .

I did n't feel anything. The room was gray. I had been there for a couple minutes now, but nothing changed in me. I did n't feel anything different. I did n't feel disappointed because I did n't have high expectations to begin with. I knew that nothing was going to fix the mess I molded myself to be and that's why I was ready to leave the room and live out the rest of my existence as I did until then: miserable. 
 It was then when I realized there was no door. But how did I enter? 
 
... Did I enter? 
 
... Was I dreaming? `` No, it ca n't be a dream'', I thought to myself. I could remember going to the person in charge of the treatment and I remember, clear as day, how he led me into this room, reminding me it would all be over soon. 
 
 `` Your suffering, I mean.'' He said. 
 
 `` I do n't think you understand what you're talking about, doctor.'' 
 
 `` Oh, please, call me J.'' 
 
 ``... J from what?'' 
 
 `` You'll know real soon, do n't worry.'' 
 
 `` Alright'', I said, knowing well J was not a real doctor. 
 
 Oh, little did I know, J was more than a doctor. 
 
 He was a lot more than a doctor. 
 
 `` J, how many people were selected for this programe?'' 
 
 `` Oh, more than enough. Did you know that this project is actually just a small fraction of a much bigger one? It goes by S.C. Not really fitting, if you ask me.'' 
 
 `` And that would be short for?'' 
 
 `` Again, something you'll know soon enough. When you meet my dad.'' 
 
 `` Oh, so he's the one that's leading this whole project.'' 
 
 J did n't respond and we just continued walking. I was horribly confused, but did n't try to think much about it. It was gon na be over soon enough. All those years... nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nothing could help me, nobody could help me. At the beginning... hell, I do n't remember the beginning. But, god, do I remember the end. The end was the last thing I remember of it and it is the only thing about it that can make me smile about it. 
 No matter, I was still in the room. It was gray. Why was it gray? What did gray stand for? I thought maybe it stood for void. For nothingness. 
 
 I did n't have much time to think about it as the room started changing colors. No kidding! The room literally started changing colors. First, it turned black. I could n't see the edges of it anymore and there was nothing. With the black came the quiet. I could n't notice the buzzing that was there when it was gray, but I could notice real well it was gone. And it made me feel... small. It made me feel... despair. Real despair. I could n't move, really. It was... smashing me. I thought I knew what it was, the depression. I did n't know anything. That pressure... it was like all of it, throughout my life, had come together to smash me one more time. And merely the thought of that made it even more painful. 
 
 That's when the black started to warp. It was leaving the walls and it was forming a shape... a living, moving shape. 
 
 That was me. Throughout all my life, all of the despair, the sadness, the anguish, had taken form, to show me what I was. What I could become. And I did n't feel... anything. That's when I noticed... I was gray. I felt gray. But what does gray feel like? What did I feel like before? Did I feel black, like the wall before? 
 
... The room started changing colors again. I still stood there, watching myself scream while nothing was heard. The room changed to many colours, but none of them had any big effect on me. I kind of liked blue, though. Yeah, blue was my favourite. 
 
... When did I start picking favorites? 
 
 What was this room doing to me? 
 
 That's when it changed. It was n't a room anymore. It was just... color. It was just... white. But that white made me... feel. It made me feel... good. I could n't explain it to myself back then, to me, it was something new. It was... bliss. I looked forward to it, I wished for it. It surrounded me and myself and was so close, yet so far away. I wished I could touch it, I wish it could fill me up, I wish it could take me with itself and be with me all my life. 
 But then I realised the gray was there again, taking the form of the room I had been in in the beginning. The dark version of myself was n't moving while the white circled around us, and fell on the ground as it disappeared. There was no pain on its face, but it was no longer... me. I could n't call that myself, not now, not when I knew... that I was gray. I was no longer black. I did n't want to be black, not anymore. I wished white. I wished it could be here forever. 
 
 As soon as that thought crossed my head, the white, as if I was speaking out loud, started to go away. And I started running after it. I knew that this chase could go on forever, but now there was no black to hold me down. That's when I stopped, as did the white. I turned around only to see the black version of myself dissipating. I took a step toward it and it started creeping to me. Not in human form, however, more like... liquid form. It took the shape of a ball, as did the white, as they were both approaching me. I did n't want the black to come near me, I knew what it would do to me. I wished that it would be gone, that the white could maybe expel it from here. But, as I backed away, both colors began to merge. With themselves, and at the same time, with me. I did n't feel anything, there was no pain, but the experience was... unique. Everything started to fade out, I could n't see anything. 
 
 There was a room. A room. I could do anything with it, as it was in me. It was my thoughts. It was my feelings, it was my mind. I could do anything with it. And I could change its color. My immediate thought was to make it white. So i tried. And with all my will and strength I made... a white drop. A white drop. and when I tried to turn it black, it flowed through the roof like a river. What was happening? Why did n't it want to let the white through? The room turned blacker and blacker as I got angrier. But this time, I could remove the black. It was no longer there. I tried to change it to white again, this time I tried harder. A couple of white drops. To this day, I'm still getting white drops. The black comes from time to time, but it goes away. 
 
 When I left the gray room, J was n't there. I heard from him 3 days later, he called me. Asked how I was doing.'t was the last I heard of him. He was a good guy. Yeah, good guy. And he was right, you know. When I heard on the news about everything he'd done, I knew what J stood for. 
 
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 I think you'll find this really confusing, as I did n't really think it through. I just liked the idea of the prompt and started writing. I mean, that's how it's supposed to go, right? Anyways, I tried to get a sort of mash-up between a spiritual and a biblical theme for this one, the biblical one shown through J. I hope you get it, because I'm honestly confused about what I wrote and I'm sorry
