[ WP ] The US announces that marijuana will be legalized nation-wide when Half Life 3 is released . This puts Valve under a lot of pressure .

Like many kids in school Gabe Newell, THE Gabe Newell beloved of the PC Master Race, had a bully. His days were filled with torment, and his only escape was computer code. In fitting with the stereotype, this gave him the energy to go on and become the successful leader of the true gaming master race. And in the same fashion his school bully should have been a complete failure, right? Well, so Gabe thought. 
 
 In fact, he even arranged a special meeting between him and his former school bully. He was so absorbed with this he barely noticed the frantic behavior of everyone else at Valve as they tried to comprehend why they had been given the power to determine the legality of a drug based on their product's release date. But Gabe was n't paying attention to this, he was set to take his old bully on a tour through all he had achieved, to show him his immense accomplishments and to humble his former tormenter. Yes, he would hold him in even lower stead than even a mere console peasant. 
 
 However, this illusion was shattered as he saw his bully again for the first time in decades. He looked like no disheveled failure, he wore nice clothing, a rolex, and sunglasses that glinted with the conceited attitude only the business world could truly give one. 
 
 `` Gabe!'' the bully cried, jovially slapping his back, `` it's been years, how are you!'' 
 
 Newell resisted the urge to release his childhood anger all at once. Not yet, the time would come. First he had to show him his success. He toured his old bully through Valve ( ignoring the employees who were desperately trying to get Gabe to focus on the true issue at hand ) and did his best to show how successful he had become. 
 
 Finally it came time to ask the question `` So, what have you been doing?'' 
 
 `` Oh I've been quite well,'' his bully replied, `` I've gotten in on the ground floor of a great industry, and that's actually part of why I wanted to meet with you. You see, I got involved in the legal pot business, very early in Colorado and expanding to other states. Of course we were worried about federal authority tamping down on us, but now that they announced they'll legalize it when you release your game, I do n't suppose we have to worry much about that. In any case, because everyone in my industry is dying to know, when can we expect the game to be done.'' 
 
 This was the moment, Gabe thought, this was when, despite the success of his bully, he could lay him low. 
 
 `` The game is done.'' Gabe said slowly. 
 
 `` Fantastic! When can we expect a release date?'' 
 
 Gabe smiled, `` Never.''
