[ WP ] Your son did as your will said and gave you a viking funeral because you thought it sounds cool . Beyond , a viking ghost yells at you for doing so and tosses you a weapon . Good Luck , Steve . It 's going to be a long afterlife .

The first time I had been afraid and confused. As my consciousness crash-zoomed into the blood-strewn battlefields of Valhalla, my dying memories seemed but a moment away. Driving my car home from the game, I'd absent-mindedly broken off a piece of beef jerky as I hit a pothole, inhaling it right into my throat where it became wedged. Screeching to a halt, the stench of burning rubber filled my final inward breath as life slowly faded. 
 
 A low-hanging mist of woodsmoke and burning flesh seemed to pour from the battlefield and into my being, what I know now as the mystical essence of the funeral pyre transporting my corporeal form to this otherworldly plane. I felt myself growing more physical, more complete until the final twist of smoke brought me to my feet. 
 
 With the smoke now cleared, I looked beyond my feet to the fields beyond and was immediately stunned by the death-cry of a hundred thousand warriors beating swords against shields. 
 
 Then they charged. 
 
 Caught naked in the maelstrom, I flinched and cowered against the inevitable. One warrior, wrapped in fur bearing a rough-hewn axe and wooden shield, broke free from the pack and bore down upon me, eyes wild with bloodlust. With a single sickening blow of his axe, I felt myself flung spinning into the air, landing moments later unceremoniously in the blood-soaked mud alongside my now-beheaded corpse. 
 
 Then I began to understand, and I forgave my son for carrying out my naive dying wish, for where I should have felt excruciating pain, I only felt extreme pleasure, beyond words. 
 
 From the gaping wound at the stump of my neck waves of pure joy radiated. As the sensation overwhelmed me, I found myself transported to an endless field of lush green grasses and berry shrubs where stunningly beautiful angels - no - Valkyrie - tended to my wounds and then, as the ambrosia from their heavenly ales soothed my spirit, assisted me with other earthly desires. 
 
 Later, after I was guided to the great hall, we ate and drank, telling stories of our deaths. A circle gathered around me, for it was rare to see a new `` warrior'. Of course they knew that the world beyond had changed, they knew we no longer fought with swords and axes, so the lacklustre story of my passing brought forth only a sense of genuine mirth, not the anger I had expected. 
 
 I look forward to tomorrow. I've learned to seek out death and that pleasure beyond words. I do n't know about the other heavens, but I'm happy in valhalla.
