[ WP ] An actually competent henchman manages to kill the superhero .

“ I got him! ” 
 
 “ What? ” A voice shouted from the smoke and destruction of the evil base entrance. 
 
 “ I got him! ” Larry repeated. 
 
 “ Got him how? ” The voice sounded confused. 
 
 “ I got him, he ’ s dead! ” 
 
 “ No he isn ’ t. ” 
 
 “ He is. ” 
 
 “ Hang on, I ’ m coming over. ” 
 
 Larry waited as the other henchman made his way through the debris that Ultra Robo Man had caused during his short lived assault on the base. After a few minutes he found his way to Larry and scowled. 
 
 “ Ok, where is he playing dead at? ” 
 
 “ He isn ’ t playing, he ’ s right over there. ” Larry gestured ten feet in front of him to the pile of metallic super hero crumpled on the ground. 
 
 “ Oldest trick in the book, he plays dead, wakes up and breaks all our necks. Not falling for that one again Larry. ” 
 
 “ He ’ s dead, I ’ m sure of it Jim. ” 
 
 “ Uh huh, ” Jim was unconvinced. “ Hand me that broom. ” 
 
 Jim used the broom to turn the hero over from a distance and promptly turned away to vomit. When he was finished reviewing the contents of his stomach he turned back. 
 
 “ But he ’ s bullet proof, ” Jim said with drool on his lips and tears in his eyes. 
 
 “ Not his face, ” Larry said. 
 
 It was true, Ultra Robo Man ’ s face was pretty much gone, but the robotic armor surrounding it remained completely unharmed. 
 
 “ This is bad. This is real bad man, ” Jim said panicking. 
 
 “ Why? Isn ’ t this our job? ” 
 
 “ Weren ’ t you paying attention during this morning ’ s brief? We were just supposed to slow him down so the boss could have his big confrontation in the lower levels! ” 
 
 “ Oh. Oh shit, ” Larry said remembering. 
 
 “ You know what we have to do then? ” 
 
 “ No? ” Larry said. 
 
 “ Well we have to scrape this guy out of this suit and you have to go pretend to be him to the boss. ” 
 
 “ What? No way! ” 
 
 “ Do you want to get written up? ” Jim asked. 
 
 “ No. ” 
 
 “ Then help me get him out of there. ” 
 
 Jim and Larry set about prying the man away from the suit and were getting nowhere fast until they found the release switch. The suit cracked open and they were struck with and odor so strong it could kill a horse. 
 
 “ Holy hell! It smells like the men ’ s room at a baseball game in July on taco and curry night! ” Larry exclaimed. 
 
 “ He probably pees in there, ” Jim agreed. “ Better climb in. ” 
 
 “ Can ’ t we at least hose it out first? ” Larry asked. 
 
 “ No time, the boss will be expecting him soon. Get in there ” 
 
 Larry pulled the emaciated man from the suit and got in gagging the whole time. Eventually he made it and Jim closed him up, and luckily the smell stayed trapped inside. 
 
 “ Hey, why was that guy all skinny and sick looking anyway? ” Larry asked now that he could breathe again. 
 
 “ Oh, Gary? He killed this guy before you started and we had to stuff him in the suit. Turns out you can ’ t get out until you die. ” 
 
 “ WHAT! ” Larry shouted. 
 
 “ Oh yeah, happens all the time. I don ’ t think anyone remembers the original Ultra Robo Man anymore. They ’ ve been stuffing henchmen in this thing for years so the boss doesn ’ t lose it. ” 
 
 “ WHAT! ” Larry truly was a poet. 
 
 “ It happens. So just go on down to the bosses lair and do whatever, you ’ ll probably get away and we ’ ll have to fight you when you come back. ” 
 
 “ Why would I come back here? ” 
 
 “ The current theory is that the suit makes you crazy and your crazy brain makes you keep coming back here. It ’ s pretty annoying but it keeps us paid. ” 
 
 “ I ’ m going to tell the boss what ’ s been going on! ” 
 
 “ Good luck, that ’ s what Gary said too. ” 
 
 Larry didn ’ t hear him though, he was already tearing a hole in the floor to confront the boss. After he was gone Jim lit a cigarette and took a long drag. 
 
 “ See you in a few weeks pal. ” 
 
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