[ PI ] Eternal Nature - FEB CONTEST

Hi! I really liked Josh and Rene ( especially Rene's dry wit ) as well as the ideas you have, i.e. Josh suffering prejudice as a result of his AI. 
 
 You have a cool world, reminiscent of the Running Man/Hunger Games/Battle Royale, and I think expanding it could be great, e.g. spending some time on the other fighters. Melanie died pretty quick for someone built up so formidable. 
 
 I like the idea of Josh being a lost combat veteran, but that comes out more in the blurb that it does in the story, except for the brief conversation in the arena. Perhaps you could weave it into the conversation at the bar in the beginning? 
 
 By way of constructive criticism, there are a few instances of showing and not telling that stick out. For example, when Josh kills Melanie, the story reads: 
 
 >... Josh knelt beside the woman he had only met once. He wanted to feel something. Pain, sorrow, regret, anything. Josh felt nothing for her. Instead he felt sorrow, and pain, and regret, for not having these feelings towards her. In the heat of battle, there is little time to dwell on the taking of a life. Instead, it is usually met with a great sigh of relief. One less gun shooting at you. Even though this particular gun was not threatening him, they were not allies. 
 
 The above reads a little unwieldy, and instead of showing up Josh's reaction, you're just listing off the emotions he does n't feel. The later paragraphs, and the conversation with Rene over her AI, establish Josh's reaction very well, so paragraphs like the above are often unnecessary. The reader knows from Josh's actions that he's not torn up about killing Melanie, and pointing it out expressly can sometimes read clumsy. 
 
 Hope this helps. Nice work and good luck!
