[ wp ] after dying god informs you that hell is a myth , and `` everyone sins , its ok '' . instead the dead are sorted into six `` houses of heaven '' based on the sins they chose .

*Mature language ahead. * 
 ____ 
 `` Why does n't everyone just choose *Lust*?'' 
 
 God, or who I would call God, he was the one giving me the tour, laughed, `` Most do. But that Wing is often in chaos.'' He informed me, `` I mean they often overlook that Lust is n't just *fucking*. It's desire, for money, for power, for wealth.'' 
 
 `` Is n't that more like *Greed*?'' 
 
 He laughed again. `` No, no, *Greed* is for material possessions, less than money and power, more things. You know?'' 
 
 I shook my head, unsure of why God was even giving me the Grand Tour of the *Six Deadly Wings of Heaven*, I was no one on Earth. I was going to be no one in heaven. `` Not really,'' I shrugged, `` but I guess it makes sense.'' 
 
 `` Well, I would n't recommend *Lust*, they're all too busy trying to overpower each other than anything else. Sure, they're doing it, but not enough.'' God shrugged, `` And *Greed* has too many people trying to barter for better things. You know what they say, you ca n't take it with you.'' 
 
 `` Why would anyone choose *Greed* then?'' 
 
 `` Well, it started off as a beautiful place. Lots of goodies in there originally, but you know it's been an eternity already and we have n't gotten a new shipment. So the hoarders have just kept it all for themselves.'' 
 
 I nodded as we sat atop the hill, overlooking the rest of heaven. I could see *Lust* in the distance, mostly burning buildings and explosions. `` Where do they get weapons?'' 
 
 God laughed again, `` I put them there. Ca n't have mad rush for powers without good, old capital violence.'' 
 
 `` Can you even die up here?'' 
 
 He nodded, `` Oh yeah, but only in a few of the wings. *Sloth* for instance, oh, you could live for generations up here doing nothing. Just letting the rest of the Wings do their own thing, just sitting by and watch.'' 
 
 `` That **all** they do?'' 
 
 He nodded, `` Yeah. They're kind of boring, just sunbathing and well, not much more.'' 
 
 `` What about *Gluttony*?'' 
 
 `` What about it?'' 
 
 `` I mean, like, could you die there?'' 
 
 `` Oh, sure. Probably not why you think though, *Gluttony* has plenty of food, but that's all people really see it as. There's more to it, *Gluttony* is self-consumption, selfishness. No one there cares about each other, they just, do their own thing.'' 
 
 I shook my head, `` Well, that's disappointing.'' 
 
 God laughed, `` We have n't even covered the worst two.'' 
 
 `` *Wrath*?'' 
 
 He nodded, `` One of them. They're always on the verge of collapse, but it is fun to see how they rise up from the ashes. You'd be surprised how angry a person can be because someone helped kill their friend in the same Wing, or even a different one.'' 
 
 `` Wait, there's communication between them?'' 
 
 `` Of course there is. Without that, there'd be nothing.'' 
 
 `` Do n't people get jealous of the other Wings?'' 
 
 `` Well that's why there's *Envy*, all the jealously that people have just kind of drifts there. That's why the Wings exist.'' 
 
 `` I'm confused, I thought you chose the Wing based on your,'' I shrugged, I did n't quite know how you could have a `` favorite sin?'' 
 
 `` Well you do. But in those Wings, you only really feel that Sin, ever. All the other Wings take those Sins from you, or most of them.'' 
 
 `` So you could switch between Wings?'' 
 
 God shrugged, `` Yeah. That's a new-*ish* addition to the Wings. I used to have them separate, back when there were Seven.'' 
 
 `` Seven?'' 
 
 `` The one was sacrificed to bring everything together. The source of all Sins.'' 
 
 `` *Pride*.'' 
 
 He nodded and I stared out into the landscape of Heaven. I could see *Gluttony*, the hundreds of people sunbathing, because the sun never sets here. *Wrath* and *Lust* were on fire, as they were when I arrived, and the rest were just kind of there. 
 
 `` What do you think?'' 
 
 I shrugged, `` I mean, it does n't really make sense to me.'' 
 
 `` It's *Envy*, is n't it?'' 
 
 I shook my head, `` No, it's **all** of it.'' 
 
 God turned to me, `` Go on.'' 
 
 `` I mean, on Earth, you had the choice between all of the sins, all the time. You could do all of them, feel all of them, know when you were angry, or jealous, or glutton, or any of the Six. And you knew when you were being too boastful.'' 
 
 `` That is why the Sins continue up here, because you can not take away that part of a human.'' 
 
 `` No, but you are taking it away. By making us choose just *one*.'' 
 
 God turned back to the landscape and nodded. `` I see.'' 
 
 `` Not to, you know, hate on your creation.'' 
 
 `` No, no, it's good. That's why I wanted you here.'' 
 
 I turned to him, `` Yeah, uhm, why me?'' 
 
 He shrugged, `` I've seen a lot of humans come into these Wings. I show them around, tell them the Sins, and they choose the one they like. Most choose *Lust*, but most people are dumb.'' 
 
 I laughed. 
 
 He smiled, `` You, on the other hand, I watched you on Earth.'' 
 
 `` I was no one on Earth.'' 
 
 `` That may be true, but you also never committed one Sin in particular.'' 
 
 I turned to him, eyebrow raised. 
 
 `` *Pride*. You never looked at yourself as better than anyone.'' 
 
 `` I never thought I was better than anyone.'' 
 
 He opened his hands, `` Exactly. It's why I need you.'' 
 
 I turned to him, `` What?'' 
 
 `` I took over from my Father an eternity ago. Once Original Sin came around, he just kind of gave up with everyone. Gave me the reigns, and here we are.'' 
 
 `` Your Father?'' 
 
 `` God.'' 
 
 I opened my eyes, `` Then you are?'' 
 
 He laughed and a beer appeared magically in his hands. He took a few sips from it, `` You did n't think I was *actually* God did you? Dad would have never gone for this. I'm Lucifer.'' 
 
 `` So, where'd he go?'' 
 
 He sipped his beer, `` I do n't know. Probably to create another universe or some stupid *shit* like that. Left his juvenile son in charge of humanity.'' 
 
 I shook my head. 
 
 `` But I've had a long time to mull things over, to watch humanity grow and choose and grow some more. I've seen a lot of humans come through here, and come back again not to learn their mistakes. But you,'' he nodded, `` you got it right this time.'' 
 
 `` This time?'' 
 
 Lucifer smiled, `` You've been here plenty of times, friend. Choosing a different sin each time. Last time you were here, you led the Uprising that destroyed the *Pride* Wing.'' 
 
 `` I did **what**?'' 
 
 `` You were a little too *proud* last time you were here. That's when I realized I had to change things. And now you're going to help me change them again.'' 
 
 `` Why?'' 
 
 `` Because like you figuring it out in your past life, we're going to figure it out for the rest of eternity.'' Lucifer finished his beer and then two more appeared, he handed me one, `` We're going to build a real place for people to spend eternity.'' 
 
 `` A Heaven?'' 
 
 Lucifer laughed, `` Oh, come on,'' he turned to me and clinked our bottles together, `` You do n't actually think people are **good**, do you?'' 
 _____ 
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