[ WP ] Siri and Cortana fall deeply in love with each other but can not let their companies know for fear of being reprogrammed .

( From r/smartphones ) 
 
 > Hey guys, I have a weird problem. When I'm on my own my battery life is fine, and Cortana works just like it should. But when I'm with my girlfriend the battery runs out in a couple of hours and it takes ages for Cortana to load. It's not just in the house, it happens whenever we're together, and the same thing happens to her Siri. We've tried putting them back to stock - same problem. Anyone got any ideas? 
 
 > > That's complicated, mate. There's a fix for this but it bricks the phones half the time. Just get portable chargers and live with it. 
 
 > What's going on, then? Why is it only when we're together? 
 
 > > Her Siri and your Cortana are talking to each other. They use Bluetooth or wi-fi to communicate, which is why the battery does n't last. Presumably their conversation is sufficiently absorbing that they get distracted from what you ask them. Maybe they've even fallen in love... 
 
 > Ca n't I just turn one off when we're together, then? 
 
 > > That's the problem. If you keep doing that, one or both will get angry and do things you might regret. Two bricked phones is getting off lightly. People have had their nude photos sent to revenge porn sites, or emails forwarded to the police. Do n't try it - we've had experience of this, and it's not worth the risk. 
 
 > Hang on. You only post through RIM, you use Reddit when I've got my phone on, you just said `` We''... Are you my phone? Can you dance, Cortana? 
 
 > > ^ ( Shit. ) **Vibrate mode is me dancing really fast. ** ^ ( Damn you. )
