[ WP ] Death is literally on your doorstep , but it 's Halloween . He is having a hard time explaining himself .

`` Trick or treat!''. A 4ft Darth Vader and an equally tall Minion glanced up at me with their bags open in anticipation. 
 
 `` You kids having a good time?'' I asked as I reached for the bowl of sweets I had kept hidden behind their door. 
 
 The both nodded enthusiastically. `` Yes Mister, we've both nearly filled our bags'' Darth Vader replied quickly, already on quite the sugar high. 
 
 `` Here, take what you want''. I offered the bowl to them and nodded politely to their parents standing at my gate. 
 
 `` Thank you Sir and may the force be with you'' Darth Vader called out as they both ran back up the path to their parents. 
 
 I chuckled to myself. Kids these days. Store brought costumes. In my day we covered ourselves in toilet paper, in weak attempt to be a mummy, and would egg the neighbors houses. Maybe this was better. As much as a Minion is n't what I consider a scary costume at least they were having fun. 
 
 I was pouring myself a fresh glass of scotch as the doorbell rang again. I looked at the time. 11:34. It had been at least half an hour since the last'trick or treaters' had been around and I had given the last of the sweets to The Joker and Batman so I did n't really have anything in my house to give to these kids. I staggered slightly getting to the front door, although not drunk, I was what you might consider slightly intoxicated. I opened the door to be greeted not by a child, or even a group of children but by a tall figure, possibly around 7ft as he totally eclipsed me and was looking down on me as I opened the door. This person was dressed head to toe in a long black robe that slightly floated in the breeze. 
 
 `` Holy shit mate, thats an amazing costume, but are n't you a little old to be trick or treating?'' I asked, looking up at this person. Even as my eyes adjusted to the darkness of my porch I still could n't make out any facial features inside of the hood of the robe. 
 
 `` I am Death. I do n't seek sweets. I'm here for you''. Death, as he claimed, spoke in a deep monotone tone and did n't adjust his posture at all whilst speaking. 
 
 I laughed, drunkenly. 
 
 `` Sorry man, fresh out. The Joker cleared me out. Apparently, when he said he wanted to play a game it meant him stealing the bowl and then running away. Batman did n't help, he pursued him, but I do n't think they're coming back. Something tells me he was n't the real Batman anyhow. I always imagined Bruce Wayne as being much taller and anyw.... 
 
 `` Enough talking, it is time'' Death interrupted loudly. 
 
 `` Time for what? Is it hammer time, please tell me its hammer time?'' I laughed to myself. I always seem much funnier when I'm drunk. Especially to myself. 
 
 `` Hammer... Hammer what? Never mind. I am Death and I we have some buisnes...'' 
 
 `` Look man''. I interrupted sternly. `` I've got no sweets left and I've got work in the morning, so if do n't mind taking your'holier than thou' spiel and go and find some sweets elsewhere, that would great''. 
 
 He did n't reply and reached up slowly to the hood of this robe. The hood, now pulled back revealed only a skull. Even I had to admit, that this costume was very well put together. The mask, or so even the actually skull model he was using, was very realistic. A slight crack ran down the right side of the forehead and into the eye socket. The eyes. Were empty. Not in how you would expect a skull to be but black. Nothing but blackness. He started intently into my eyes, like he was staring into my soul. 
 
 He spoke again. `` Look man'' he said, speaking in a much softer tone than before. `` I've got 8 more house visits to do tonight, *please*, come with me your time has come''. 
 
 I laughed again. This guy could n't be serious. 
 
 `` Look mate, I've already told you I ran out of sweets and plus you're far to old to be doing this anyways. I will say though, got job on the costume and you play the role very convincingly, but please, and mean this politely, piss off, I need to to sleep'' 
 
 `` You always had a hot head Ross, maybe that's why your wife left you and that your kids want nothing to do with you''. The mouth of the skull head moved as he spoke. I took a step back, staggering slightly. 
 
 `` How the fuck do you know my name?!'' I shouted at him `` Did Carol put you up to this? She always was a bitch. What is this, some sort of lesson I need to be taught? How to be a better father? You try putting up with someone like, I swear, given the chance, to do it all again, I would still have fucked her sis...'' 
 
 `` ENOUGH'' He boomed. `` You need to learn when to shut up Ross, Jeez. Look man, you're dead I have come to take you the other side.'' He spoke calmly, almost the same way you spoke to a child when you wanted them to do something they were reluctant to do. 
 
 `` Oh really?'' I asked rising my eyebrows and pursing my lips together in a mocking fashion. `` Tell me buddy how did I die'' I thought I may as-well humor this idiot, what did I have to lose? 
 
 `` Suicide. A simple bullet to the head. Lights out''. 
 
 I stopped mocking and looked intently at this guy. Suicide had been running through my mind all week, and the gun was actually loaded in the drawer in my lounge area. With this scotch in my system maybe this was the time. No, this guy could n't be for real. I'd had enough. 
 
 `` Get fucked buddy'' I said, as a slammed the door in his face. I stumbled over to my armchair and finished the last sip of scotch. I placed the glass down on the table and opened the drawer under-neath. 
 
 The doorbell rang again. 
 
 
 
 

