[ WP ] Everytime someone has a 'blonde moment ' they get a little blonder . Black hair is now a symbol of brilliance , and you 've just invented hair dye .

At first the dye was just for me. I've had some embarrassing moments over the years, and my hair has slowly turned from a respectable dark brown to not-so-respectable bright yellow, just a shade darker than a dandelion. I'm not stupid, exactly. In fact, my IQ is decisively average but mistakes were made and now people see my golden mane and think `` Boy, he looks like a dumb one!'' 
 
 In retrospect, i should have started selling the stuff right away. I think my natural color actually became paler before i had the idea to start my new business. The first dye i sold was black. Just black. It sold at a decent rate for a couple weeks, but the color did n't look natural. It was *too* black. People who dyed their hair completely black were seen as overcompensating. So i adapted. 
 
 I now sell dyes in a wide variety of colors. I still have black of course, but only the blondest dolts buy that stuff anymore. My more popular shades are the ones that look most convincing. Browns so dark they almost seem black, lighter shades of brown, some reds. I'm quite proud of how well my business is doing now, but to my disappointment, my hair remains quite blonde. Oh well. 
 
 A few shops have opened up in town over the past few months. Competitors who try to imitate my dyes, but they never look as natural or they wash out too quickly. Someone, someday will invent a better dye, but for now mine are the best! They money I've made will help me build a new house, pay for my children's education ( if/when i have any ), and allow me to retire in comfort. But i have never stopped experimenting with my dyes. I've even made some unnatural shades, such as blue, green, and purple. 
 
 After i refined my technique sufficiently, i started making `` kits''. People can purchase one of my kits and dye their hair at home, in the comfort and privacy of their own bathroom. I needed to explain the instructions a few times before they caught on. More than a few people were wary of the bleaching step, after all, who would want hair so blonde it was almost white? But when i explained, repeatedly, that this was only temporary most people got over it. One dark-haired man in particular seemed almost happy at the idea. It was very odd, thinking back on it. 
 
 Then i noticed something worrying. My hair's natural color had grown even paler. I thought through the events of the past few years, trying to remember what stupid mistakes i had made. Nothing came to mind. My business was a huge success, i had n't lost anything, i made sure to lock up my merchandise every night, always brushed my teeth and washed my hands, yet my hair seemed to grow paler every time i dyed it. I began to panic for a short time, thinking that my dyes may have an unintended side-effect of destroying my hair's natural pigment. Such a revelation would have ruined my business as word began to spread. The truth, however, filled me with both relief and disgust. 
 
 I should have known. His hair was so dark. Not black, exactly, but quite dark. His eyes had a strange look to them. Hungry. Eager. The nightly news began to air stories about a deranged killer. That man. Yes *that* man, who's hair was so dark, yet who was so happy to realize he could become blonde in a few short minutes. He had used dye, MY dye!, to disguise himself as a blonde. He pretended to be lost, far from home, on vacation or some other excuse. He would get help from some well meaning stranger, and once out of sight of the public, he would slash their throat or stab them in the eye or ear or temple. He would strangle them, bludgeon them, even drown them. He killed almost half a hundred people before the police finally caught him. 
 
 My hair has turned white now. Every time he killed, my hair paled another shade. I still sell the dyes, but i can no longer use them to hide my shame. To know that i unwittingly helped this mad-man makes me wish i had never invented this stuff.
