[ WP ] Humanity has found a way to be immortal , and spread among the stars . On your 21st birthday you find out that you are the first person in 10,000 years that the process does n't work on .

Immortality is a necessity for anyone who wants to see how the other half lives. Cryosleep is not the viable option it used to be, what with the unfortunate number of ships that end up crashing into a rogue moon, get atomized by a pulsar, sucked into a black hole. Manual input is required for interstellar travel now, and being immortal helps when you have to spend a few decades plotting a course around a nebula. `` Space'' is a bit of a misnomer these days. 
 
 `` Hmm.'' The Granter retrieved the wand from my wrist and looked at my face curiously, then scratched his chin. `` That's... hmm...'' 
 
 There is now a way to prevent DNA from decaying, to repair damaged cells, to `` teach'' them to know when to die and when to keep going. We can replace missing limbs, organs, bones with identical copies. We can -- and we have, for the last 10,000 years. We've effectively turned the gun back around on the Natural Order, which is a nice change of pace. 
 
 The Granter called his assistant over, giving me an assuring smile every time we made eye contact. `` Take a look at this,'' he said to the younger man. `` I mean... it should be like *this*, but it's not...'' 
 
 `` Have you tried, um...'' The assistant clicked his tongue. `` Have you tried rebooting it?'' 
 
 `` Oh! Right, right, right.'' The Granter smiled at me again. `` This'll just take a moment.'' 
 
 The whole immortality thing is a kind of right of passage. Off my right shoulder, my parents and half my extended family looked on from the balcony as the Granter dumbly rebooted the wand. 
 
 My parents are from some star system on the other end of the galactic arm. I was told they first met during the Dhalgren Diaspora, and then again during the Proxima Uprising. That's what persuaded them to get hitched; it's one thing to run into someone twice in a big city, it's another to run into them twice in the same galaxy. 
 
 They've been together for two centuries, but they have n't slept in the same bed in all the time I've been alive. 
 
 `` Here we are, lad!'' The Granter placed the wand on my wrist. `` Let's try this again, shall we?'' He repeated the celebratory chant and activated the device that would make me immortal. The wand hummed and lit up, but the desired effect never really took place. 
 
 `` Huh.'' The Granter shook the wand a bit, as if trying to cast a spell or shoo away a fly. `` Bloody fucking thing... Excuse my language, but seriously.'' He tossed the wand over his shoulder. My parents were looking a little uncomfortable. `` Get me another one.'' 
 
 `` Yes, sir.'' The assistant ran off to fetch another wand. 
 
 The Granter waved to the crowd. `` This'll only take a moment! You ca n't have a hundred percent success rate in anything. That much is certain.'' 
 
 There are three generation ships on their way to Andromeda, currently traveling through the space between galaxies. They call it `` jumping the canyon'' or `` bridging the gap.'' The crew do n't need to be asleep the entire journey, but they opt for cryo anyway. Just because you can survive the three hundred year ride, does n't mean you want to be awake for it. 
 
 We've already become bored with the time we've stolen. Like bank robbers who grabbed too much money on their way out of the vault and now have no idea how to spend it all. 
 
 `` Here we go,'' said the Granter as the assistant handed over the new wand. `` Not sure why we're rushing to make you immortal. We have all the time in the world, eh?'' He threw on that big, fake smile again, repeated for the third time the celebratory chant, touched the wand to my wrist, and... 
 
 `` Fucking nothing!'' The Granter lifted up my wrist. `` What the hell's is wrong with you, kid!'' 
 
 My mom rushed the stage. `` What is going on here? Have you not done this before?'' 
 
 `` A thousand, thousand times, I assure you.'' The Granter threw up his hands. `` Unless we've gotten two defective wands in a row, which I doubt to the highest fucking power, your child is done for.'' 
 
 `` What!'' 
 
 `` Your child is rejecting the treatment, I said! Rejecting!'' He turned to me. `` Why are you rejecting the treatment! Do n't you *want* to be immortal?'' 
 
 Every so often, I hear of a group of treated men and women who pack up ships and fly themselves into the nearest sun. Becoming immortal does n't make you one with nature, they say; it cuts you off from it. The cosmos is a neverending dance of transformation. An element becoming static is a roadblock on an interstate. You are standing still, and it gets you nowhere. 
 
 `` We have to get you to a hospital,'' my dad said, throwing his arms around me as though I'd just been in some catastrophic accident. The cough I had yesterday was gone. I actually felt much better today than I did yesterday. 
 
 `` You'll be hearing from our lawyer!'' my mom was screaming to the Granter. `` Mark my fucking words!'' 
 
 Is there beauty in keeping something you were never meant to have? If *Starry Night* was hanging in your living room, would n't there come a time when it became as meaningless as the wallpaper behind it? 
 
 Would you want to sleep away the trip between galaxies? 
 
 `` This is n't my fault!'' said the Granter, and then socked his assistant on the shoulder. `` It's probably this little punk's fault!'' 
 
 `` Hey!'' The young man rubbed his shoulder. `` Asshole...''
