[ WP ] Its new years eve . 11:59 . You lost your SO on Christmas . You do n't want to drive home alone .

For the past week, I've been staring at my phone and wishing it would make some kind of noise. A text, phone call, I'd even take one of those damn annoying amber alert system messages. I ca n't stand the silence, I ca n't stand being in the dark. Your pictures still haunt me on Facebook. 
 
 Your smile, the little dimple on your left cheek that only showed up when you were truly happy. I lived for that dimple. It's strange, we complain about people putting too many photos online, but that changes when the person is gone. Now, I am asking myself why we did n't take more pictures together. Why we did n't ever follow through on our plans 
 
 We were all talk. 
 
 And now your parents made me come to this stupid party. `` It'll make you feel better!'' They told me. What they really meant was, `` It'll make *us* feel better.'' And that's fine. They've been great this past week and I do n't mind being the strong one on the outside. I do n't mind being the one who acts like there is nothing wrong. 
 
 But on the inside, I am dying. The pain just gets worse the closer it gets to midnight. Fuck, I really do n't want to do this. I do n't want to scream, `` HAPPY NEW YEAR!'' and then turn around to kiss someone who is not there. I do n't want to go home to an empty house. 
 
 `` Thirty seconds left! Here we go!'' I hear someone yell from the back of the room. I ca n't take it, I pick up my phone and lock myself in her old room. With one swipe, one of my favorite pictures of her pops up on my phone. 
 
 `` 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1'' The chanting from the living room gets louder and louder. 
 
 `` Happy New Year'' I whisper, bringing my phone to my lips and planting a soft kiss on your dimple. 
 
 

