[ WP ] A young cancer patient is sick and tired of all these damn celebrities popping in for surprise visits .

`` You love Johnny Depp!'' My mother wanted me to be excited, so badly. 
 
 It's true, I did. But here I was, no eyebrows, no eyelashes, not a single hair on my head. I just got done throwing up the lunch I forced myself to eat. In an hour I'd force myself to drink a shake. I'd throw it up in front of a different celebrity. I did n't want to see Johnny Depp. 
 
 He came, though, and shook my hand. He signed some things and told me I was beautiful. He asked about my treatment, he asked if it sucked. He tried to relate to me, tried to be a cool guy, I could tell. 
 
 A few days later the Avengers made an appearance. I got to smile and take a picture with Robert Downey Jr. He told me I was beautiful. He asked about my treatments. 
 
 I was on a morphine drip when I got to meet my favorite author, Sarah Dessen. She was funny, and she told me I was beautiful. She asked me about my treatments. 
 
 Why do they all assume I want to be told I'm beautiful? Is it so clear I do n't agree with that statement at all? 
 
 If it's so clear I feel ugly, it should be clear I do n't want to hear fake declarations of my beauty. 
 
 I met a band later. I do n't remember who. I think that was day three of my morphine. I tried to ask my mom later who it was, but she did n't remember the band either. She did remember what they had said to me - that I was beautiful. 
 
 They must know I'm dying. I wonder if they know it'll be a closed casket funeral? I wonder if they'd still call me beautiful then? 
 
 Because as close as I am to death, I know now what I'll look like. I'll be skin and bones. I'll have raccoon eyes. I'll have something disgusting trailing from my mouth when they pull my dead body from this bed. 
 
 Only my family will know how truly bad I look before I die. 
 
 So many girls would kill to hear The Avengers call her beautiful. Once, I would have too. 
 
 Except now I ca n't help but wish one of them had said something like, `` You look alive.'' 
 

