[ WP ] Ugly protagonist

It was hot and I was sweaty, my extra large ironic pedobear tshirt that I had on fit a little tight and it was bothersome, I had the sensation that one of my stomach rolls was hanging out but I did n't want to fix it as I already was excreting much of my effort by standing in line at this liquor. There where four people ahead of me, three of them I paid no mind to but the girl directly infront of me was a sight for sore eyes. My eyes raced around her body like a formula 1 at the grand prix I was sprung. 
 
 She had long blonde locks and perfect sun kissed skin. She could n't have been a day older than twenty yet she was buying alcohol it does n't matter because this place rarely cards. I was busy running fantasy relationship scenarios in my head of me and this chick when I had n't noticed that she was already at the clerk a very worn out looking Indian fellow who had just asked my dream girl for some identification. Her face went blank but then she pointed at me and said `` No look my daddy is paying for this, come! Come!''. It took me a while to process what was going on but I played along. I adjusted my jorts and scratched my right shin with the sandal through the sock on my left foot, then I proceeded to the clerk. `` I am this maidens father and these alcoholic beverages are mine to consume.'' I said to the clerk as I placed my acne ointment and a bag of Cheetos puffs on the counter near the register. I paid for my items and hers aswell thinking I could score some brownie points with the blonde. The blonde reached across the counter for the bag of alcoholic drinks and proceeded to say a high pitched drawn out `` thanks'', I bowed with my left arm stretched out and my right arm on my fedora like they do in medieval times I thought I must have looked pretty bad ass to her but as I raised my head to hopefully be greeted by eye contact with my fair maiden she was gone. 
 
 By this time I could feel the sweat dripping down my face and being caught on my neck stubble but I powered through the high seventy degree fahrenheit heat and attempted to search for her in the parking lot. The heat was really bothering me so I had to untie my tactical ponytail to provide my neck with some much needed shade, I spotted her climbing into the passenger seat of a lifted black pickup she had to lift one of her knees really high up in order to mount the thing but she managed. I began clearing my throat and licking my dry lips, I started to say `` pardon me dear madam but I was wondering if you-'' but then the pickup sped off and directly merged into traffic. That is the last I'll probably ever see of my beautiful sweet blonde dream and what made matters worse was that my ointment was in the bag with all the alcohol.
