[ WP ] You can mail one letter into the past . Today you receive multiple letters postmarked in the future .

I was checking that mail like any other day, short walk down the drive, open small metal box. Today, like most Mondays, the box was crammed with sale ads and coupons, but there were two, slightly crinkled formal envelopes in the center of the mass. 
 
 Once I'm back inside, I leave the sale ads on the table and take the envelopes with me to the kitchen. I poured myself a glass of orange juice and sat at the bar. The first envelope is pale pink and post marked the earliest, or I guess most recent given its stamped for the future. 
 
 MONDAY, MAY 24TH, 2036 
 
 Hello Bill, this is also Bill, but from the future. We are currently 41 years old. I need you to put down your orange juice, it expired two days ago. If it's too late, prepare for the worst acid reflux of your life. 
 
 I'm writing in regards to Amanda, the young woman from the coffee shop. Do not date her. Do not take her out. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $ 200. Yes, she seems fine and well now. You eventually development strong feelings for each other, she even let's you do butt stuff, which is amazing for your 21 year old self. But do not touch her without that piece of rubber. You fucked up once and she gave you the worst bit of the clap you can imagine. We were pissing fire for weeks. 
 
 Also, turn down the threesome offer that you'll receive at our favorite bar. You will be near black out drunk, they both have penises ( who would have guessed? ), and they want you to be the cross bar in their Eiffel Tower. 
 
 That is all for now, get rid of that OJ, 
 
 William C. Howard 
 
 
 I frowned at the letter. Amanda seemed nice enough, but que cera cera. The threesome portion had to be a joke, so I laughed it off. I drained the juice and opened the next letter. 
 
 
 MONDAY, MAY 24TH 2056 
 
 Hello Bill, this is also Bill, but from further in the future. I assume you've read the letter from William; we start going by William after 30. 
 
 Listen, I know you're disappointed about Amanda, but there is a new opportunity on the horizon. Go to the corner store at 2PM tomorrow, there will be a redhead working the cash register. Tell her that terrible joke that you use as an opening line. The one about polar bears and ice. That young woman, Chrissy, we're going to end up with 3 kids by her. Wonderful children, really. Lots of grandchildren too. 
 
 But ultimately, around 35, you'll have a bitter divorce and marry her brother. Yeah, turns out you're gay. So go, run into her open arms. Do n't worry about the gay stuff, you do n't realize it for a while. Though, the skinny jeans and top knot are a give away now. 
 
 Have fun, 
 
 William C. Howard 
 
 
 I sat there, stunned. The love of my life worked at the corner store?? Oh happy days! I'd have to tell the guys about this at the bar tonight. It's Tommy's bachelor party tonight, and I'm going to get shit faced.
