[ WP ] You are one of the angels who decides who gets into heaven , and who goes to hell . For the first time ever , a Gorilla stands before you .

`` Huh. I'm not entirely sure what to do.'' 
 
 `` What's the matter?'' 
 
 `` Well you're not, you know, a human being.'' 
 
 `` Well I should think not.'' 
 
 `` This has never happened before. I've read our instruction manual from back to back and, I just, I do n't know what to tell you.'' 
 
 `` Tell me I'm in.'' 
 
 `` Uhh. Well I mean, I guess this is n't any different than any other judgement, right? Let's look over your life.'' 
 
 `` Kay.'' 
 
 `` Okay, so you mostly ambled around in the jungle, I see. Lots of masturbating.'' 
 
 `` Feels good.'' 
 
 `` True. I think. Not a sin, really. Just worth noting. Let's see, you came upon a church pretty early on.'' 
 
 `` Yep. Learned to read there.'' 
 
 `` That explains a lot. Seems you did a lot of good there. Even gave sermons after awhile.'' 
 
 `` Pastor Bananaman they called me. I tended to use food metaphors to get my point across. The kids loved it.'' 
 
 `` Then you raged out and killed some people.'' 
 
 `` Hey, I repented for that!'' 
 
 `` We'll call it... sudden animal rage. Wo n't count against you.'' 
 
 `` Sounds animalist.'' 
 
 `` It probably is.'' 
 
 `` So, it sounds like I'm ready for heaven.'' 
 
 `` Uh, yeah I mean, I do n't see anything too sinful here. I do n't really have any reason to cast you into hell.'' 
 
 `` Praise Jesus.'' 
 
 `` Uh. Well I guess you're in. W-Welcome to heaven.'' 
 
 `` I ca n't wait to see all my ape friends!'' 
 
 `` Aww...''
