[ WP ] You die and go to hell , only to realize that Satan is actually a pretty chill dude , and is God´s roommate stoner roommate .

I was never a religious man. In fact, as I was on my death bed, no thoughts of an afterlife ever even crossed my mind. All I could really think about was losing my wife, Karen, and my kids, Phillip and Fiona. Pancreatic cancer. I was only 37 years old, and I went in for a routine checkup with my doctors. The bastards told me I had pancreatic cancer, and would most likely not make it another year. If nothing else, at least I proved those douchebags wrong, because I was n't dead until 13 months and 22 days after they told me the news. 
 
 I was n't really thinking about that either. I mean, it did cross my mind, and I did say it to my wife and kids to lighten the mood a little bit. I got a chuckle out of Karen, but the kids did n't see the dark humor. It was about two in the morning on July 22nd. I kissed them each goodnight, and not too long after I fell asleep. I woke up about 2 hours later, but I was n't in the hospital anymore. 
 
 What surrounded me was nothing like anybody had ever said it was. In fact, Hell looked more like a college campus than a miserable inferno. As I walked around, confused as ever, I was approached by a red man, who had horns and looked just like Satan stereotypically does. 
 
 `` You're new here, right? Come with me.'' As he said this, he started walking away, towards a huge building. I stood there, completely dumbfounded. He turned around, looked at me, and said `` Are you fucking deaf? Come on man!'' He took out a pen and put it to his mouth. I knew what this was, my younger brother was doing it when I saw him at Thanksgiving last year. Vaping it was called, and Satan hit what I could only imagine my brother would describe as, `` The fattest fucking cloud ever.'' 
 
 I walked with him hesitantly, until we entered the big building, and went into the first door on the right. The room was messy as ever, and ironically enough, it looked just like my college dorm had 15 years prior. He climbed up a ladder in the middle of the room, right next to a bong that appeared to be about eight or nine feet tall. `` Hey, you mind lighting that bowl for me? I'll clap when I want you to pull the bowl out.'' 
 
 It had been about 10 years since I had smoked weed, but I still remembered how a bong worked. `` Ummm, OK I guess'' were something like the words that I uttered. Needless to say, I had seen some people take huge hits in college, but none of them even got close to Satan. He threw me two blow torches, and when I looked down at the base of the bong, I realized there were two bowls on it. The man took both bowls in one hit. He shot the smoke out of his mouth, nose, and even his horns. He had hotboxed an entire dorm room in one hit. I was astounded. 
 
 `` Hey man, you want a hit?'' He asked me. 
 
 At this point, I was basically speechless, and had forgotten all about dying, so I just said to him, `` No thanks, my company drug tests once a month. I ca n't.'' 
 
 `` Another one, really? OK buddy, I'm gon na tell you once, it's gon na be harsh and you're not gon na like hearing it, but you need to know this, OK? YOU. ARE. FUCKING. DEAD. So, now that you know you wo n't be drug tested anymore, I again propose the question. You want a hit?'' 
 
 `` Oh yeah, I guess I forgot. Umm, it's been quite a while since I had any, but I guess I have nothing to lose.'' 
 
 `` That's what I like to hear!'' He knealt down next to the bong, and packed the bowls. He lit the bowls, and by the time that the smoke hit me, I was already coughing. 
 
 `` You like that? Its Magic fucking weed man, partially because the bowl never runs out, and partially because it's the best fucking weed in the entire goddamn universe. Oh shit, I forgot to introduce myself, my name is Satan, if you could n't already tell by the horns, and with me being red and shit.'' 
 
 `` OK, I'll admit, this is some damn good weed, and you're Satan, but where in the fuck am I?'' I said him. 
 
 `` Oh, this is the University of the Gods, and I live here with my roommate, God.'' 
 

