[ WP ] A group of dyslexic Devil-worshippers accidentally summon Santa . Being so close to Christmas , Santa snaps and judges everyone `` naughty '' and starts revising plans for 12/25 accordingly . Satan , feeling some responsibility for the error , tries to restore order to the Christmas holiday .

In a flash of bright light and copious amounts of smoke, our Lord stood before us in a shimmering glow of Red and White, blinding us in his innate brilliance. His silhouette turned to us slowly and Henry turned to me and whispered, 
 
 `` He's a lot bigger than I imagined. Praise be.'' 
 
 I nodded, too awestruck by the figure before me to respond with anything significant. The smoke cleared and the four of us started a low hymn to welcome him. He coughed once and spoke, 
 
 `` Oh, not this again. I will not leave Christmas for the sake of Jesus, I wo n't give you presents in advance, and I definitely wo n't say'You'll poke your eye out, kid' for the sake of your short films. I'm really busy right now and ca --'' 
 
 He started taking in his surroundings and saw the pentagrams and blood smeared on all the walls. He looked to each of us, our bodies soaked in the blood of baby goats and then he pinched the bridge of his nose. 
 
 `` You did n't mean to summon me, did you?'' he sighed. 
 
 `` But of course we did, my Lord!'' Wesley proclaimed ceremoniously. 
 
 `` Wesley, that's not our Lord, it's Santa,'' Rebecca groaned. 
 
 Henry spat at him and cried, `` Leave us, you monster!'' 
 
 `` Monster!?'' Santa yelled, `` I'm the monster? You're trying to summon Satan for God's sake!'' 
 
 `` Do not use our Lord's name in vain!'' I yelled. 
 
 `` Right, sorry -- wait, do you mean God or --'' 
 
 `` Does it really look like we mean God?'' Rebecca said. 
 
 `` Look, I have to go, so I'll make this quick. You're all on the naughty list for the remainder of the year and wo n't even be getting your consolation coal because I'm afraid you'll use them to write more incantations.'' 
 
 We shrugged and nodded a bit. 
 
 `` Furthermore,'' he continued, `` if you'd ever like to receive presents again, please do n't try to summon... er... the devil. And for God's sake, never summon me again. I am already running behind schedule as it is.'' 
 
 He snapped his fingers and puffed out of the room in the same flash of red and white light, though he left out the smoke. 
 
 `` Aww, man,'' said Wesley, `` I was really hoping for that quad-copter this year.'' 
 
 `` What do we do now?'' asked Henry. 
 
 `` We try again,'' I said, `` except this time, I'll write the incantation.'' 
 
 I looked over Wesley's work and immediately saw that in every one of the six places that `` Satan'' was supposed to be written, it said Santa. 
 
 `` Wesley, do you know how to spell our Lord's name?'' 
 
 `` Sometimes I get confused'cause we do n't even say it very often so I thought that was right.'' 
 
 `` You did n't think to check this with us?'' 
 
 He shrugged unsympathetically. `` I honestly thought that the worst thing we could have summoned was our Lord.'' 
 
 I opened my mouth, then closed it. He had a point. I quickly made the changes to the six lines of six words, replacing each `` Santa'' with `` Satan'' and hurried back to my spot. Everyone got in position and started humming low before I tossed in a goat's leg to the center, where it glowed with intensity before it suddenly sucked all the light out of the room, leaving us in total darkness. He started a hymn nervously as we heard something breathing in the middle of the room. 
 
 `` Oh, not this again. No, I will not smite the nonbelievers of me, I wo n't tell you if you're going to Hell in advance, and I definitely wo n't recreate the scene in Wreck-It-Ralph with you. I really bu -- heyyy, are you the kids that just summoned Santa in my name?'' 
 
 I waited for someone else to answer, but in the total darkness I think we were all equally terrified of what might stand before us. 
 
 `` Y -- yeah that was us,'' I managed. 
 
 `` Hey, great show guys. I'd imagine you're all on the naughty list now. Tell you what, I'll grant all of you one collective wish. Go ahead, just say the first thing that comes to your mind and if its in my power it'll be done.'' 
 
 `` I want a quad --'' I heard Wesley being muffled by someone on the other end of the room. Probably Rebecca. 
 
 `` Can we...'' I started slowly, trying to think of something as I went along. 
 
 `` No Christmas this year!!'' Henry yelled next to me. 
 
 I could almost feel all of us turn to him in astonishment. I wished I could see his expression in the darkness. 
 
 `` I like your style kids. Sure, no Christmas this year.'' 
 
 With that, the room regained its light and I saw everyone absolutely coated with sweat and breathing hard. 
 
 `` We really did it,'' I said, astonished. 
 
 `` That was such a perfect wish,'' said Rebecca. 
 
 `` I still want a qua --'' 
 
 Suddenly, a flash of white and red broke in the center of us once again and Santa appeared fuming before us. 
 
 `` WHAT DID YOU DO!?''
