[ WP ] Jesus is elected President of the United States .

`` We've done it, Hilary.'' Maggie Williams, Hilary's campaign manager, gave a rare smile, her teeth bright. `` The electoral college is ours.'' 
 Hilary grinned and punched the air as the room erupted into cheers. It felt like Times square on new year's eve. 
 Her husband Bill squeezed her shoulder. `` Congratulations, Madam President,'' he drawled as the champagne popped. 
 
 Over everything, Hilary felt relief. The campaign had been long, and more difficult than any of them had expected. 
 In early 2016, the Republican primaries had produced a wild card candidate, a far right religious nut by the name of Emmanuel King. He was a complete nobody; a two-bit preacher from a flyover state who was barely over thirty, and even with the steadying patrician influence of McCain on his ballot, precedent dictated that she should have wiped the floor with him. 
 
 She had n't. It was still close, her victory secured by only three states. King was inexplicably popular, even with traditionally Democrat voting demographics. The poor loved him, the young loved him, even the minorities loved him. It was like Maggie had said to her, after meeting him; *guy's a boyscout. He's got a halo, practically. You can feel the good radiating off him. You ca n't win this with hearts, Hilary. * 
 
 And she had n't. It had felt strange, standing on the podium and criticising King's spending plans. Standing in front of infographics and pie charts like a schoolteacher, appealing to the cool and rational American. It went against her every political instinct. The worst had been the televised debates; King had responded to every question with a parable, and the audience had listened, rapt and adoring and silent. An auditorium with twenty thousand people, and you could have heard a pin drop. Hilary felt embarrassed, speaking after him, but he was a gracious opponent, letting her finish before giving counterpoints. *Yeah, you looked bad, * Maggie had said in the debrief. *But everyone looks bad, going against King. How do you think he won the primaries? * 
 
 But she had won. Fair and square. 
 
 -- - 
 
 **next day, Washington DC** 
 
 They gathered by the obelisk to see him. By the thousand, bodies packed like sheep. Hilary had won, but it was King they came to see. 
 
 He spoke to them, to the cameras. 
 `` I'd like to show something,'' he said. `` To the electoral college, before they cast their ballots today.'' 
 
 And he stepped off his stage, unlaced his shoes, and, after a short prayer, stepped onto the water of the reflecting pool. 
 
 `` Well,'' said Hilary, as she watched his press conference on her aide's tablet. `` Fuck.'' 

