A classic fantasy setting with modern dialogue . [ WP ]

Zooey and Lodai rest in the upper branches of the trees of wisdom. Zooey is approached by an eagle. 
 
 `` Do you remember that hairlipped motherfucker in that scouting party that got away with that big rock of silver?'' Zooey asks. 
 
 `` Wild guess, he's back with an army?'' Lodai respond as he lazily pulls a rusty sword from the tree. 
 
 Zooey pulls out her floot and says `` No, it's worse. Ask the eagle. He'll give you the details.'' 
 
 The eagle perches on Lodais back He has a vision of horned men in silver clothing on elephant and rhino backs, tearing out the library of wisdom trees and commanding Baboons with torches. 
 
 Zooey summons the bees. Her floot makes a buzzing sound and hives sprout out of the trees. 
 
 `` Good idea. You protect the roof and I'll get the floor.'' says Lodai as he leaps to the floor. 
 
 The sound of elephants ripping trees out of the ground can be heard as Lodai brings mist out of the grassy carpet of the forest with every step. 
 
 Baboons with torches frantically fall from the trees. They are preoccupied with stinging bees. Lodai pays very little attention to them. The floor is getting swampy enough for the crocodiles to emerge. 
 
 The soft soil makes the elephants and rhinos job easier to rip out the trees. But they'll get trapped in the mud as it slowly turns into quicksand. 
 
 Zooey's voice echoes through the forest `` Cut it the fuck out Lodai! It's a fucking trap!'' 
 
 The swamp begins to leak oil. The swamp catches fire quickly. All can smell the crocodile and baboon flesh. 
 
 Lodai summons a blizzard. It creates a tornado of fire that he launches at the horned men in silver clothes. 
 
 His arm catches fire, burning through his fleshy exterior, and exposing the burning embers on his wooden interior. 
 
 Zooey sprouts a rusty ax head out of her floot as she leaps from a tree and hacks off Lodai's arm. 
 
 The hairlipped motherfucker emerges from the fire with a silver ax and says `` Look at what I made out of that rock I found in your river. I gave your stupid rock a purpose. A reason to exist. Your kind only serve to protect uselessness'' 
 
 Zooey relies `` I kept it free. You made it your bitch. If it wanted to be an ax head, it would be an ax head.'' 
 
 `` Rocks do n't want anything, because they do n't think'' He says as he raises his ax. 
 
 The ax head crumples to stone and the handle twists into a gnarly branch before he can swing it. 
 
 `` Looks like the rocks and sticks have made their decision, they do n't fucking like you.'' Zooey says. 
 
 The horned men in silver clothes turn into rocks. The elephants and rhinos crawl out of the mud and wander around freely. The baboons pick fruit. 
 
 The hairlipped motherfucker tries his best to fight her, but ca n't land a punch. `` What about my free will bitch!'' he says as Zooey passively walks away.
