[ WP ] A horror story , but from the villains perspective , written as a comedy .

Princess burped. She just had a rather satisfying meal of three children from the local daycare. I really do spoil her too much. I tickled her belly, and when she happily gurgled, I moved on to stroking her tentacles. 
 
 `` What's that, Princess?'' I cooed. `` Do you want more yummy children?'' 
 
 Princess flailed her tentacles. That was a yes. 
 
 I put on my best kindly, this-old-woman-loves-baking-chocolate-chip-cookies smile. It always worked with strangers. Just mention how I lost my pet dog, and oh poor thing, she must be STARVING since it was days since I last fed her, and I got sympathetic clucking tongues and searching eyes in response. Those tongues and eyes looked delicious on my dinner plate. Princess always let me have the best morsels. 
 
 I walked out of our homely house and into the street. I saw a worried mom tensely conversing with the daycare manager across the street. I walked towards them. 
 
 `` I do n't understand, Sammy was always here waiting when I came to pick him up,'' she said fretfully. 
 
 `` Ma'am!'' I called. She turned towards me. `` Sammy just visited my place for a little snack,'' I said. `` I baked some brownies and offered him some, and he was the most darling thing. I know why you would be worried about him.'' 
 
 The mother's face broke into relief. `` Thank god, I thought someone kidnapped him,'' she said. `` Is he still at your house?'' 
 
 `` Yes, ma'am, just follow me. It's right across the street,'' I said. I hobbled back to my house, the mother right on my heels. 
 
 As we approached my house, I could hear Princess gurgle in excitement. Another meal. 

