[ IP ] The Life and Times of Dewey the Cat

People say things like `` time stood still'' and I always thought that was a load of crap. 
 
 I've been through car accidents and terrible events and I've never felt like time had truly stopped. I figured it was some hyperbolic thing we did to really drive home the point. 
 
 Until that night. 
 
 I remember the doctor looking me in the eye and the nurses avoiding it. 
 
 I remember the smell of cleaning product in the nearly empty hospital corridors. 
 
 I remember that it was 3:14 AM because that's exactly when my watch stopped working. 
 
 I do n't remember the words. I just remember the crushing weight and how time seemed to stand absolutely still. I could feel every hair on my arm standing on end, I could hear a single thumping heart beat in my ears that lasted an eternity, I could feel my stomach dropping. It was all in slow motion. 
 
 Then it was n't. 
 
 Then I was on my knees sobbing and begging and pleading and screaming. I hit a wall and that's when my watch stopped. I do n't know who it was but someone held me in their arms. A nurse I think. 
 
 Just like that everything was alive again, a moment was a moment and there was no holding off time. 
 
 They were both gone. In the blink of a moment, in a single momentous tick of fate it was over. 
 
 They let me hold their hands. One much weaker than I remember, too limp for the strength that had once occupied it. The other was so tiny it seemed like it could n't be real. 
 
 The rest was a blur. Casseroles and well wishes and me screaming to be left alone. The house was dark and empty and I wanted it that way. 
 
 Until one afternoon there was the unmistakable sound of a cat at my door. 
 
 It meowed relentlessly. I was going to shoo it away but something stopped me. 
 
 She'd always loved cats. 
 
 So I grabbed the last clean bowl in the house and filled it with water. I would have done milk but it was at least two weeks past the point of being solid. Now it was trying to generate intelligent life. 
 
 He was a ragged tabby wearing a well worn collar and tag. His left ear was torn up from some long ago battle and he was rail thin. When I put the water down he danced between my legs and then daintily licked the water before staring up at me. I think it was with disgust. 
 
 So I shrugged at him. 
 
 He stared. 
 
 So we went to the grocery store, him sitting in the front seat of the car and purring while I adjusted to the light and business of being in public again. 
 
 I figured I should eat too so I grabbed a few things and found him waiting in the car patiently. 
 
 That night I made us dinner and he curled up on my lap and we both fell asleep. 
 
 It was the first night I did n't wake up crying or screaming. 
 
 For weeks it went on, his name was Dewey and he was a great friend. He knew when to lay in my lap and purr to calm me down and when to bother me enough to go outside, he even got me to take a walk to the lake where we used to go. 
 
 Her favourite spot. 
 
 I'd never met a cat like him. He would sit with me on the old log as I stared out at the sun setting, silent and content. 
 
 I talked to him like he was her. And slowly I healed. 
 
 Weeks became months and Dewey became thick and happy and my best friend. He forced me out of the house and back to work, back into life. I talked to him and worked things out. 
 
 He grew older and I grew bolder. Stronger and happier. I understood that I could love her and still move forward. That I would have a chapter of my life that was painful but the novel was n't over yet. 
 
 One night he curled up and stopped purring. Just laying there on my lap. 
 
 I knew. 
 
 He'd known it was time. Time to say goodbye. Time to leave for he'd given what he needed to. 
 
 And as his breathing slowed, slowed, slowed, and finally stopped. 
 
 I could only say one thing. 
 
 `` Thank you.''
