[ WP ] A boss in an RPG-style video game encounters a warrior controlled by an avid speedrunner .

This was quick. Usually things start moving and it's five to ten hours before the hero gets here. I can polish my nails, adjust my boobs, call up the Bigger Bad for some booty... 
 
 This is under two hours. Some player is acting all speedy. One of those types, huh? Minimal equipment, minimal grinding, substandard prepwork for optimal speed... 
 
... I know how to deal with this... 
 
 The hero enters. I open my mouth but he skips the dialogue. Of course. The battle starts. I get first turn but he's already putting in his commands. 
 
 `` Time for a nap... SLEEP!'' 
 
 His whole party goes down. I target his healer first. She flatlines in one hit. 
 
 I can almost hear his controller smash into the wall as he ragequits and the world goes dark.
