[ WP ] God answers every time you call His name . Oftentimes , this is terribly inconvenient .

I was sitting on the toilet... or well *shitting* on the toilet. After a spicy chinese food binge, i was feeling the dragon breath. A combination of food poisoning and eastern vodoo was about to spill out of my man cavern. In seat-gripping pain i moaned, `` oh god thi-'' 
 
 # *What is it my son? * 
 
 Shit not this again. I cursed to myself as my sphincter closed up like a bank vault. `` Uh nothing im sorry lord!'' 
 
 # *Do you wish for my help? * 
 
 `` NO. No no thats okay just go. My god pl-'' 
 
 # *What is it my son* 
 
 Hes a busy deity, sometimes he sets up his voicemail and i get that instead, so i get set responses. `` No no im okay.'' 
 
 I was quite literally sick of this shit, which i could feel razing my colon. `` What the hell-'' 
 
 *'' You called? `` * 
 
 `` Satan??'' i yelled as a red form materialized in my bathroom. 
 
 *'' Ohh this is from the general tsao food poisoning i gave you. `` * 
 
 I glared into his shiny black eyes that glistened like the sweat on my beet red forehead. `` You son of a bitch.'' 
 
 *'' Yeah im really regretting that right now, this smells SO bad, its like someone mixed napalm and spoiled milk. Oh my go-'' * 
 
 # *What is it my fallen angel? * 
 
 
 `` WILL YOU BOTH PLEASE GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM.''
