[ WP ] One if by land . Two if by sea . Three if by air . Four if by ...

`` One if by.... shit.'' 
 
 Paul shook his head. `` Ca n't fucking see...'' 
 
 He squinted to try and see the lights coming from across the bay. 
 
 There was definitely three lights. 
 
 `` So wait... *hic*...'', he said, scratching his head. As he did so, whiskey poured out from the bottle that he had in his hand, the same one that was now on his hand. `` Fuck damn shitty tit fuck! ``, he roared, throwing the bottle to the ground. 
 
 He shook his head, wiping what alcohol he could off his head. `` Right... so... one is... sea, right? Two is... air... wait, how would that even fucking work?'' 
 
 He sighed. `` I'm sure two was air, though... and what the hell? There's four!'' 
 
 He squinted again. `` Nope... that's three... ah shit, there's four again! MAKE UP YOUR MINDS, YA FUKIN' CUNTS!'' 
 
 He looked at the bottle on the floor. Perhaps it was time for a break from the drinking. 
 
 `` I'll just take a nap. Then I'll figure this shit out.'' 
 
 He peered out once more. 
 
 `` That's definitely four lights. Four fucking lights. No... five... goddamnit. THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS! ``, he roars, trying to convince himself that he was indeed correct. 
 
 The flickering lights refused to obey. 
 
 `` Fuck. Time for bed.'' 
 

