[ WP ] After falling for a `` Win a free iPad ! '' website , a mob boss decides to collect his free iPad by any means necessary .

“ What ’ s this, Pauly? ” 
 
 Nick “ Pits ” Gibson sat in his ergonomic office chair, forearms resting on his desk, staring at the computer monitor. 
 
 A flashing green icon danced on the webpage. 
 
 “ Looks like an opportunity, boss, ” said Pauly Nance, Nick ’ s right hand man and top enforcer. Pauly and Nick went way back—back before browsers and buffering, computers even. 
 
 The icon read “ FREE iPAD! ONLY 10 LEFT! DON ’ T MISS THIS ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OFFER! ” 
 Nick sat back in amazement. 
 
 “ Do you know how much these go for? Four, five hundred bucks, easy. Hell, we could sell these for half what they ’ re worth and make a killing ” Pauly said. “ Plus, Nicky, we need something more manageable; you could just keep it. ” 
 
 Nick reached for his mouse eagerly and clicked on the icon. 
 
 Pauly glanced over his shoulder to make sure the library study room door was closed. They ’ d paid for an hour. It had been fifteen minutes. 
 
 Nick had been in hiding for two weeks after learning of the bounty put on his head by his rival, Antonio “ The Vig ” Vincenzo. But he needed to check his facebook and peruse yahoo news for an hour each morning. 
 
 The trailer they were staying in was devoid of modern technology, so they came to the library. 
 
 A list of questions lay in front of the two gangsters. The free iPad was going to take a little work on their part. 
 
 “ This is asking for a lot of personal shit, Pauly, I don ’ t know… ” said Nick 
 
 “ Wait, boss, ” said Pauly, “ Why don ’ t we just use someone elses information? Remember the voter registration scam? Plus we still got that PO box. I know all the gritty details: numbers, names, birthdays, social security numbers. We ’ re golden, I promise. Just listen. ” 
 
 Half an hour later, Nick and Pauly walked out of the study room. 
 
 
 
 Two weeks passed and they were walking slowly along the shore of the reservoir just outside town, dragging an industrial garbage bag between them. 
 
 The bag began to shift, so they stopped. A loud groan came from the bag and Pauly kicked it over and over until it ceased. 
 
 Nick took a knife from his coat pocket and cut the bag lengthwise, a young man in cargo shorts and a yellow tee rolled out. He coughed and writhed on the sand. His mouth was bleeding badly and he was blindfolded. 
 
 Pauly removed the blindfold, holding the boy by the ponytail, forcing him to look up at Nick. 
 
 “ Man, I told you, we don ’ t even HAVE iPads, it ’ s just a scam. I ’ ll buy you one, you fucking psycho! ” the boy screamed. 
 
 Nick twirled the knife in his hand and took a knee in front of the sputtering boy. He took the boy by the chin. His lips were pursed and caked with blood. 
 
 “ Open your mouth. ” Nick said. 
 
 The boy shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut while tears ran down his face. 
 Nick put the knife agains the man ’ s temple. 
 
 “ Open your mouth, kid, or you ’ re gon na be a cyclops for halloween. ” 
 
 The boy slowly opened his mouth revealing a few missing teeth. 
 
 “ I don ’ t want you to BUY me an iPad, ” said Nick, “ I was promised something and that something was a lie. So here we are. ” 
 
 As Nick began to dig away at one of the boy ’ s molars, a bright light shined on them and they turned to see. 
 
 A black Lincoln had pulled up and the headlights spilled over them, focusing on the miserable face of the young boy. 
 
 Pauly drew his gun and pointed it at the back of the boy ’ s head and Nick stood, walking with hands out in front of him towards the headlights. 
 
 The driver killed the engine and a tall, thin man in a suit emerged from the passenger ’ s side. 
 
 Antonion Vincenzo was a lithe, quiet man. He was not violent, but he was intimidating and his deep stare made Nick uncomfortable. 
 
 “ I want my nephew back, Nick. ” said The Vig. He was holding a dufflebag in both hands and placed it on the ground in front of him. 
 
 “ I want my life back. ” said Nick, tilting his head and lifting his shoulders. 
 He smiled and pointed back at the boy. “ I am always fascinated by coincidences, Antonio. Who knew this little snot-rag would end up as my insurance policy? ” 
 
 “ Alright, you get what you want. Jesus Christ, Nick. You know this isn ’ t going to end well though, right? ” said The Vig. 
 
 “ I just want to sleep in my own bed and go on hating you in peace you slimy greaseball. I don ’ t even care about the business you STOLE from me. What ’ s in the dufflebag? ” asked Nick. 
 
 The Vig gestured for Nick to look and Nick obliged. He opened the bag and saw a pile of thin black tablets. His eyes widened. 
 
 Suddenly there was a wicked sound behind them. Pauly was slumped in the arms of a large Italian crony a knife sticking out of his chest. 
 
 The Vig ’ s nephew was stumbling out into the darkness. 
 
 Nick whirled, reaching for his gun, but The Vig already had his pointed at Nick ’ s stomach. 
 
 “ I always knew you were a dinosaur, Nick. ” said Antonio, “ But you should ’ ve installed AdBlock ages ago. It ’ s a real lifesaver. ” 
 
 BANG! 
 
 “ Free iPad... huh…what a joke. ” mused Nick, dying. 

