[ WP ] You have died and gone to hell , but it 's not what you expect . You wake up naked in a field with nothing but trees around you ... it turns out that hell is an early access survival game .

Ok ok no reason to panic i have done this before. It cant be too hard after all. As I walk over to the next tree i see I try to brace myself. `` There is no way i can hurt myself. I saw the loading screen this is just a game. This is just a game!'' Using this Mantra I close my eyes and punch as hard as I can, but i cant feel any resistance. 
 
 I can hear Stans maniac laughter even before he appears next to me. `` Hahajajaja, xaxaxa not even 15 seconds and you glitch through a tree and get stuck. That must be the new record, i have to tell Hans about this.'' `` What do you mean stuck?'' I try to stand up, but my left leg has been fused with the tree and i just slam my face into the ground again, `` Ouch! And who the fuck is Hans?'' Stan is standing above me holding a camera. As I try to smack the camera away he just takes a step back `` No worries you are already at 150 million viewers. If you keep it up you can become a real star in no time. What did you ask again?'' He thinks for a moment `` Oh right Hans.'' He takes out a whistle and blows it once. `` If you want to take a look behind you. Thats Spot, he is Hans dog. Now if you excuse me this will be great film material of your first fight. Perfect Advertisement.'' 
 
 I quickly turn around just in time to see a Giant 3 headed dog jumping towards me. 
 
 With a scream i wake up. Blue Sky above me and grass as far as i can see. It was just a dream. 
 
 I stand up and look around to see if i can find any clothes... 

