[ WP ] Judgement day comes but none of the far right religiously motivated politicians of the US government are taken up by god . As an angel , Jon Stewart comes down to do one last show ...

`` Hello, my name is Jon Stewart, welcome to the Daily Show, TONIGHT! We have. A very special Guest. Pretty chill Dude you may know him already, his name is...'' 
 
 *looks at his paper* 
 
 `` God. Creator of the Universe and appearently... real. Did not see that coming. 
 
 But FIRST. It's jugdement Day for Americans politicians.'' 
 
 *shows news clips of news people using `` judgement Day'' metaphorically* 
 
 `` So it is literally judgement Day in this upcoming election...'' 
 
 *does this thing where he pretends someone is speaking to him in his earpiece* 
 
 `` Oh. Like actual judgement Day. Like God is going to judge their lives. Ok. And it appears our Politicians were very bad. 
 
 Obama. Sloth. Hell. 
 
 John `` I'm gon na almost punch the President in the back of the Head while he is delivering the State of the Union'' Boehner. Wroth. Hell. Did not see that coming. 
 
 Chris Christie. Gluttony. Hell, which for him happens to be a buffet with only salad. 
 
 Mitt Romney. Greed. Hell. Although his corporation did go to heaven at least. 
 
 Rick Santorum. Envy. Hell. 
 
 And Dick Cheyney... Let's see. All of the deadly sins, as well as... 5 new ones he himself invented. Did not know that was even possible. 
 
 So our politicians are getting the bad news, but how is the rest of the World? For that we go to our Britain corresponent JOHN OLIVER. JOHN! How are you?'' 
 
 `` I'm in heaven Jon! Literally in heaven!'' 
 
 `` So you're good.'' 
 
 `` No, I'm actually literally in heaven. I just spoke to the King Richard Lionheart.'' 
 
 `` And what did he say?'' 
 
 `` I do n't know. I do n't speak 12th Century English. But the mood here is great. People of all different cultures and religions coming togethether, and...'' 
 
 `` Different Religions?'' 
 
 `` Yes, Jon. Turns out the only true Religions was Zoroastrianism, but God has decided to give good people a pass anyaway.'' 
 
 `` Zoro... The worship of Zorro?'' 
 
 `` No, an ancient, lost monotheistic Religion from the middle East. But up here there are muslims, Christians, and even Pagans.'' 
 
 `` Wow. Are there no theological arguments up there?'' 
 
 `` Yes Jon, but they are being reasonable and polite.'' 
 
 `` R... Reasonable? About Religion?'' 
 
 `` Everything is possible here in heaven Jon! Why, just now I am getting a blowjob from her majesty Queen Elisabeth.'' 
 
 `` Queen Elisabeth... The second?'' 
 
 `` The first! What do you take me for, jon?'' 
 
 `` Sorry'' 
 
 `` Pf, the second. Oh yeah, just like that Lizzie. Actually Queen Elsiabeth the second has decided to remain down on earth.'' 
 
 `` Really?'' 
 
 `` Yeah, she wants to remain on the throne. It has actually sparked somewhat of a constitutional crisis.'' 
 
 `` How so?'' 
 
 `` You see Jon, the UK is actually ruled by God, but since he has been conviniently absent, the Monarchs have acted as regents.'' 
 
 `` And since now God is real, I mean here...'' 
 
 `` The Queen is n't needed.'' 
 
 *may continue this later*
