[ PI ] Departure From E-DoN - FEB CONTEST

Hi! 
 
 I really liked this. I had no issue with the terminology, and I think it actually adds a little more realism to piece. I would n't expect any future society, one that lives in a dome and grows babies like they're papayas, to not have advanced a little bit linguistically. 
 
 All in all, I thought it was a beautiful meditation on love and sex and the Eden fable. One thing that bothered me, though, was naming of the characters. Maybe it's a way to roll with the title you were given, but I thought the allegory would have worked beautifully without the Biblical name-dropping. It comes across a little heavy-handed, and it hearkens back to those old World War II pulp stories, the ones that would feature two warring planets named Sixa and Seilla. I do n't think the metaphor will be lost on anyone if the names are replaced. 
 
 But that's just one person's opinion. This story made me happy to read. Keep writing, please: )
