[ WP ] The people sent a human sacrifice to the gods . The gods want them to take it back .

Dearest humans, 
 
 Please stop sending virgins. This sacrifice is not really a sexual thing, and to be honest we, your terrifying gods, are n't sure why you people down there are so obsessed with virgins. 
 
 Virgins are boring. What we would like are more feisty grandmas. It has been ages since you sent us a raunchy old bitty with some good gossip. If she can knit or sew, that would be a bonus. All of those virgins you've sent us over the years have an unhealthy obsession with plushies and crotchet and the like. 
 
 Eternally your tormentors and overlords, The Terrifying Gods Who Demand Human Sacrifice From Above
