[ WP ] Your 11 year old nephew just ate 2 of your LSD gummy bears 45 minutes ago and you have to make sure he makes it through sane

`` Uncle Mike?'' 
 
 `` Yeah?'' 
 
 `` Your gummy bears were pretty bland.'' 
 
 `` What?!'' 
 
 `` Your gummy bears were bland.'' 
 
 `` I heard you, I just... wanted good gummy bears.'' 
 
 Jacob looks at me with a yeah right kind of stare, `` You wanted good gummy bears?'' 
 
 `` Uh... I was just mad you took my gummy bears.'' 
 
 `` Whatever, it was just two.'' 
 
 `` Oh my god, that's a lot of sugar, Jacob, you can never tell your mom and dad that I let you have two gummy bears.'' 
 
 `` Yeah, Now I'm sure. What was in those gummy bears?'' 
 
 `` What are you talking about? Gelatin, sugar, I do n't know.'' 
 
 `` Cut the crap, Mike. I'm eleven, I know about drugs.'' 
 
 `` Was it pot?'' He asks. 
 
 I sigh, `` No.'' 
 
 `` Some kind of alcohol?'' 
 
 `` Yes.'' 
 
 `` Oh! That's not too bad. At least it's not a hard drug, I ca n't get too drunk from two gummy bears of even vodka.'' 
 
 `` *Is* what I wish I could say.'' 
 
 `` Oh, shit!'' 
 
 `` What is it?'' He asks, naming every drug he can think of. `` Coke?'' 
 
 `` No.'' 
 
 `` Meth?'' 
 
 `` NO way!'' 
 
 `` Heroin?'' 
 
 `` What kind of person do you think I am?'' 
 
 `` I do n't know you, brought drug laced gummy bears to watch your nephew.'' 
 
 `` Yeah, I guess. But, relax,'' I say, `` you're bound to try acid some time.'' 
 
 Shit! 
 
 `` Acid?!'' Screams Jacob, `` Fucking LSD?!'' 
 
 `` Sorry?'' I say very, very hopefully. 
 
 `` Apology **NOT** accepted! When is it gon na kick in?'' 
 
 `` How long ago did you take it?'' 
 
 He checks his phone, — god, kids get phones too early — Stay on track Mike! — `` About 50 minutes ago.'' 
 
 `` Pretty soon'' 
 
 `` Pretty soon is right. I'm getting tingly.'' 
 
 Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! SHIT! 
 
 `` There's no one else in the house is there?'' 
 
 `` No, and your parents wo n't find out, they wo n't be here for a long time.'' 
 
 `` Well, that's good, but I was kind of asking because I see someone. He has a long red scraggly beard and he's sneaking up on you.'' 
 
 `` Goddammit!'' I turn around, `` There's no one behind me at a— HOLY SHIT!'' A stranger is standing in front of me, clear as day and the window is wide open ( it was closed before ). Great a kid who's almost high and a fucking burglar or something. I jump on the man. He moves away in time for me to fall on the floor, but I'm happy that I touched him, because now I know that at least I'm not tripping. 
 
 I almost call 911, but I realize that they'll find out about Jacob, and if he had a small enough dose to be safe, then no one can find out about this. 
 
 I chase the man and eventually catch him. Now, I have no idea what to do. I have a good lock and a decent alarm system, I always have. But Heather, my twin sister, did n't have the same idea as mom and dad and me. I guess her husband Jason did n't either. So I knock the man out. 
 
 I decide, after a few minutes, that I have to call 911. The operator picks up. 
 
 `` 911, what's your emergency?'' 
 
 `` Well... two things.'' 
 
 `` Please state the more urgent problem.'' 
 
 `` Uh, okay. Someone broke into my sister's house. I'm here with my nephew, who I'm watching over today.'' 
 
 `` Alright, tell me your address please.'' 
 
 I give her my address and a bunch of other information that she asks for. 
 
 `` Okay, the police are on there way already. Was there something else?'' 
 
 `` Yeah,'' I say nervously, `` My nephew had some LSD'' 
 
 `` Wow! You're a shitty uncle,'' she says quietly. 
 
 `` What?'' 
 
 `` The ambulance is on it's way too, sir'' 
 
 `` Thank you.'' 
 
 I hang up. 
 
 The police come and get the man, the ambulance takes Jacob. Everything gets cleared up. But, long story short Heather and Jason hate me now, my mom and dad are pretty mad, but Jacob is forgiving, and he still likes me. 
 
 But, about kids getting phones...
