[ EU ] Incorporate an otherwise wacky game mechanic into official lore in a respectable manner ( Think dragonborn eating 15 cheese wheels after being dismembered )

'We had heard stories - no, *legends* - of this warrior. We never considered any of them true until we saw his damn-near impossible feats. It was then that I felt like something fundamentally wrong had been placed into my soul. 
 
'Sure, seeing a skilled warrior running around the wilds of Skyrim was n't unusual - he was either a mercenary hunting a bounty, a trapper who wanted a pelt or just some random thug like us, wanting an easy coin. As I watched him with the others I grew increasingly worried for our safety. They called me a coward and threatened my life if I backed out. 
 
'The first thing we saw was his chasing after a bear and killing it for pelt - not that uncommon for a Nord, but he did it with his bare hands. And not in the'beat the life out of it' approached either; he climbed a tree, waited for a large male to approach and landed next to it. With only one hand he crushed its neck before skinning it and... well, the thing just disappeared as did its bones. 
 
'That was when he approached a dragon and a giant fighting each other. With only words, the dragon was screaming in pain as he charged the giant and defeated it in two blows - one to the chest which caused a torrent of blood to erupt out of its mouth all over the warrior followed by one straight to the head which burst like a grape from the impact. By the time the dragon had come to its senses it was too late. The warrior grabbed the snout of the dragon and made a simple twist as the dragon began to whimper. A massive crack ringed out as its spinal column was snapped completely... and the scales and blood began to disappear into light before he walked away. Those other fools started boasting that they could do that... if only we could. 
 
'It was later in the evening when we had hunted a few deer and settled for the night, intended to attack the warrior in the morning, but that never happened. He had come for us, easily taking us on when we fought with all our might but despite everything, he still only used his bare hands to fight, walking calmly towards each of us before making the fatal strikes. It took only a minute until all 80 of my companions were dead. Despite this, I was able to bury an axe into his neck, thinking I had slain the mighty Dragonborn. Oh, how wrong I was... 
 
'He proceeded to rip his own head off, to finish the job I started, mocking me. Less than a second later he approached the fires and dumped his head onto one of them, destroying it completely before lifting the still-uncooked carcasses of our prey and turning to me. He... his chest split open to show a cavity of teeth and stomach acids. He then placed each dead animal into the cavity as a tongue enveloped them, pulling them as the teeth ground them into paste while his head grew back. 
 
'I was too petrified to move as he approached. I had fallen to the ground and he placed his sandal-covered foot onto my throat, probably to crush it under his immense weight. Yet instead, he just gave me a smile and... disappeared. It was then that I knew - the Dragonborn was n't just some warrior, he was a God that could devour the Daedric Princes.' 
 
 What the panicking rogue spoke of his experiences, a group of people began to talk to themselves.'Okay - I know killing Alduin caused that whole `` Turning into a Dragon'' thing but did you have to terrorize a group of bandits?' 
 
'That's slander,' the Dragonborn said as he hid under his cloak, his Nord form covered with sharp scales. He had to make sure that he did n't fully open his `` mouth'' as he drank his mead.'Sure, I ate 50 cheese wheels but I did n't eat their deer...'
