[ WP ] One of the largest events in human history turns out to be a complete accident . How did things really go down ?

In the beginning, God created the universe. Quarks and atoms shot off in every direction. Matter clumped together as he had designed and formed balls of heat and light, illuminating spheres of rock and gas as they orbited around each other through the cosmos. And it was good. 
 
 God took a picture, printed it and had it framed. 
 
 And one day, while God walked to work, he got a text from Stanley: 
 
 `` Hey, G. You're in BIIIG trouble.'' 
 
 Oh no. Not that. Anything but that. 
 
 Life. 
 
 God rammed through the door and looked at his universe globe. Sure enough, he could see the little green indicator of vegetation and DNA. 
 
 Maybe it was n't too late! He could just reset the world? No chance. he had already locked in the rules of quantum physics at T+12bil. years! And who could say what would happen if he destroyed his globe? There was no going back! 
 
 Defeated, God slumped back into his chair as his boss handed him his transferal papers. 
 
 `` Lifecare center -- Duration indefinite'' it said on the front. 
 
 Fucking babysitting duty. 
 
 *** 
 
 This is not meant to be taken seriously. Apologies if I offend anyone.
