[ WP ] `` We do n't have to be competent . We just have to be more competent than the enemy . ''

General Haig peered down his nose at the map spread over the table. Little coloured wooden cubes dotted the territories. He held his cane out and prodded one of the cubes a bit further towards Germany. 
 
 “ It ’ s simple, you see. We must get these cubes across the Rhine and into Germany, ” he said. 
 
 “ It is imperative, ” intoned Field Marshall Kitchener. 
 
 “ Essential, ’ said General Robertson. 
 
 ‘ Each cube represents…Jenkins, how many? ’ 
 
 ‘ Roughly 10,000 men, sir. ’ 
 
 ‘ 10,000 men, gentlemen. We must… ’ He pushed 20 of the cubes across Northern France with a sweep of his cane. ‘ …be prepared for losses, but that is the nature of war. Sacrifices must be made. Jenkins, be a chap and pick up those two off the floor. Yes, those. Thank you. ’ 
 
 ‘ Haig, that ’ s a lot of men, ’ said Kitchener. ‘ Big job. The Hun is already mobilising. There are reports of close to a million men on their way to France as we speak. We can ’ t just hang about if we want to be done by Christmas. ’ 
 
 ‘ Any British Tommy worth his salt could take out five of those Huns and still be back in time for tea, ’ said Robertson. 
 
 ‘ That ’ s a fine attitude, ’ Haig said, ‘ but we can ’ t rely on pure fighting skill if we ’ re to take this all the way to Berlin. We must have sound strategy, flawless tactical know-how if we ’ re to give Fritz a right good thrashing. We need to wage a new kind of war. ’ 
 
 ‘ Can ’ t we just march in, get the cavalry moving and start shooting until the enemy retreat? Worked for Wellington at Waterloo. ’ 
 
 ‘ Ah, but the Hun will be expecting that. They know those secrets. We need something better, something based on defence and assault, so that when they march onto the field, they ’ ll be caught by surprise. ’ 
 
 ‘ Well, I ’ m stumped, ’ said Kitchener. 
 
 Haig gathered ten of the blue cubes representing Britain and put them next to each other in a line. He then took ten black cubes for the Germans and faced them off against the British. He gestured to the map, and his fellow generals peered at it curiously. 
 
 ‘ Now watch carefully, chaps. It gets a bit tricky here. ’ He lay his cane flat on the table behind the British cubes. Suddenly, he swept them forward. The British cubes smacked into the German cubes, sending them flying across the map. 
 
 ‘ Brilliant! ’, said Kitchener. 
 
 ‘ Outstanding! ’ said Robertson. 
 
 ‘ And this, gentlemen, is how we ’ ll win the war. Jenkins, some wine. ’ Haig said. 

