[ WP ] A hardcore doomsday prepper is living through the apocalypse ... But it 's a kind he did n't prepare for

All his life, Joe had been afraid of zombies. Their insatiable taste for flesh had terrified him as a kid. He remembered hiding behind the couch or under the sheets as the flesh-eaters ravaged their victims on screen. The only source of courage for Joe in his childhood was his older brother, Chris. He could watch any scary movie without flinching. In fact, when Joe was scared the most, whether from zombies or homework, Chris would be there to comfort him and give him the strength he needed. 
 
 Chris never seemed afraid of anything, but that did n't help in the face of the car crash. Chris's fearlessness finally did him in when he decided it would be a good idea to drive his pickup over a ramp and jump a cow. The cow survived. Everyone in Joe's family was devastated. Joe lost his source of courage, so he decided to make his own. Courage in the face of fear was the only time anyone could be courageous. 
 
 With the subsequent barrage of zombie movies, video games, shows, books, and action figures, Joe's still grieving mind became increasingly convinced that the zombie apocalypse would be his calling, his chance to prove to his late brother that he was courageous. 
 
 It took 20 years, dropping out of community college, a broken relationship with Ma and Pa, and three girlfriends, but Joe finally had his foolproof zombie apocalypse plan set in motion. He bought a three acre plot of land, built walls and a bunker with his fellow doomsday preppers, and prepared for the inevitable rise of the undead. 
 
 His small posse of zombie killers waited for two years, always watching the news for that first sign. They came from all over the area. Robbie was from up north, Zeek from deep in the South, and Jerry from far out west. They had pooled their resources, formed a close-knit bond with each other, and now waited patiently for the end of civilization. They would need each others' aid when the zombie hordes came. 
 
 One Thursday, the end had finally come. There had been no news of zombies on the radio, but they all could feel it. Emerging from the bunker to greet the first zombie horde, they were instead greeted by what seemed to be an eclipse. As they looked up, they realized it was no eclipse; there was something in the sky. 
 
 As they all scratched their heads, wondering what was going on, they heard a booming voice echoing across the lands. 
 
 `` People of Earth your attention please. This is Prostectic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council...''
