[ WP ] A group of dyslexic Devil-worshippers accidentally summon Santa . Being so close to Christmas , Santa snaps and judges everyone `` naughty '' and starts revising plans for 12/25 accordingly . Satan , feeling some responsibility for the error , tries to restore order to the Christmas holiday .

'T was the night before Christmas, and that was a shame, 
 As Christmas was cancelled, three idiots to blame; 
 Some satanists in York were attempting a summons, 
 But got the wrong guy because life gave them melons. 
 An angry St. Nicholas loomed over their kneeling, 
 While loud anxious hooves could be heard from the ceiling. 
 He grabbed helpless Tim, who was stunned by it all, 
 Then slammed the accountant against the brick wall. 
 `` Now,'' St. Nick sputtered, `` before I take my leave, 
 What am I doing here this Christmas Eve?'' 
 Tim could only manage two words for his sake, 
 They came out as weak gasps; `` Sorry, mistake.'' 
 It was at this moment St. Nick's mind went affray; 
 Some say his bloodlust grew three sizes that day. 
 `` That's it then!'' he roared, `` This is the last straw!'' 
 And the once jolly toy maker laid down the law. 
 When St. Nick was through, his sleigh left with a clatter, 
 With the remnants of Tim left a messy red splatter. 
 Etched out with bones and a warped sense of cheer, 
 Were the last words from Clause, *No Christmas this year. * 
 Now Satan had witnessed the blood frenzied bludgeoning, 
 And honest to admit he did not see that coming. 
 `` This is a problem,'' mused the Devil in thought. 
 `` Christmas is one of the few things I've got. 
 There's no better day to spread envy and greed, 
 So Christmas must happen, it's just what I need.'' 
 His hooves clopped on stones, the sounds echoed through Hell, 
 When in crept an idea like the ring of a bell. 
 Then up rode the Devil with presents abound 
 In a coach which was dragged by his fiery hell hounds. 
 The holidays were saved, just barely by much, 
 But Christmas arrived with his personal touch. 
 Satan said in a grin, `` Man's days are now numbered, 
 This will be one yuletide to be remembered.'' 
 Each house had piled high loads of gifts in a lump, 
 With a Christmas card signed, `` With love, from Trump.''
