[ WP ] You 've just invented a drug that would allow vampires to safely consume garlic . However , in order to get this drug to market , you have to convince the FDA that vampires are real .

``... And that's why this drug is suitable for those suffering from Garlic Allergy. All tests, data and samples are available to the FDA, and I hope you can pass this soon, to alleviate the sufferering of those with allergy to Allium sativum.'' I smiled at the board who listened in silence. Not once did I mention my *true* reason for my experimentation; why, they'd never believe me. No, better to hide it behind a facade of mortal suffering. 
 A cough freed me from my thoughts. The senior scientist of the group had faced me with a cryptic look on his face. 
 `` That's... all very well, Mr Chiroptera, but this is n't why you made it.'' My grin froze on my face, does he susp... 
 `` The reason you made it was to free Vampires from one of their weaknesses. And that will not happen.'' I attempted to stutter an objection, `` how - how *absurd*. Vampires? I am...'' 
 `` A Vampire. We know. And we've known about this garlic cure for a long time.'' A whisper of wind behind me; I turned with inhuman speed, but too late, the mailed fist grabbed me by the the neck and slammed me to the table. A laser pen, of all things, was shoved in my eye. 
 `` *This little trinket gives a high intensity UV beam. It will fry your brain if you so much as twitch*'' growled my captor. A waft of his smell informed me as to his true nature. 
 `` Werewolf'' I whispered. 
 `` Indeed, Mr Chiroptera! Or should I say Baron Alcar. Yes, Frank here is one of the FDA's most helpful agents in these matters.'' 
 `` If you were a proper scientist, you would have known we do not normally give interviews to vouch for your drug. No, we want to offer you a *job*'' 
 A job? Hah! Lab rat more likely, to be experimented on until there was nothing but ash and bone. 
 `` I can see your doubts, Alcar. If you would care to use your... unoccupied eye, you would notice something interesting'' I opened my other eye, and saw wood, wall, silver, chair... wait, *silver*?!? The mailed glove was silver. 
 `` Yes. A werewolf wearing silver. You see, we here at the FDA, or Fantasy Defence Agency to give our true name, are not interested in removing weaknesses, but cures. Cures for your Vampirism, while maintaining your... attributes. Frank here, for instance, no longer wishes to tear every mortal thing to shreds.'' 
 `` Although I'm happy to do so for *immortals*'' the voice growled again. 
 `` Indeed. So once again, Alcar. We would like to offer you a true Cure. For which you would work for us, to stop your... less enlightened brethren of the night from wreaking havoc on our Country. Well, Alcar?'' 
 I considered my options. The loss of bloodlust ( and my freedom ), or being the latest course at a Werewolf Barbeque. 
 `` Fine. But make sure the Mutt is kept away from me.'' 
 A throaty chuckle came from behind as the pressure on my neck was released, and I stretched the knots from my neck. 
 `` The *Mutt*'' came the growl `` is now your senior partner. Welcome to the FDA'' A stab in the neck, reminiscent of my'birth', and the world fell to black.
