[ WP ] You die and are greeted in the afterlife by the all knowing God ( choose one ) , ready to judge you . However , for some reason he has no recollection of you ever existing .

Death by donut, huh, hell of a way to go I thought. Of course, this is n't how I imagined I would die. I always pictured my death to be a glorious one, one that people would talk about for generations to come. I pictured it being almost symbolic in a way, kind of like Elvis overdosing on the toilet. 
 
 But fuck me I guess, because I choked on a apple cider donut and drove off a bridge. `` God is gon na get a kick out of this'' I thought as I felt my body go limp, and slowly felt the life dissipate out of my body. They say that you see your life flashes before your eyes before you die, I can now completely and safely call bullshit on that. I did n't see my life reappear in a sequence of images, no all I saw was, for some reason, a blatantly obvious drunken God. And when I say drunk, I mean blasted. I literally saw the omnipotent being fall over and swear in alcohol rage induced aggression. 
 
 Turns out when you make it to heaven, there is a rather long line you must wait in. The dude in front of me must have a been waiting damn near a millennia, as he was wearing a robe and a turban, let's call him Darryl. So Darryl must've reached his boiling point, because even though he whispered it, he was still heard irregardless. Apparently a simple whisper of `` I wonder what hell is like'' is all it takes to find out. Not more than three seconds after this phrase was muttered, the floor disappeared below Darryl, and was replaced with a gaping hole with flames and black smoke shooting out from it. Darryl was quickly swallowed in seconds and disappeared forever, along with the hole. 
 
 Next in line, finally I thought, I did not dare to announce my displease publicly. `` Next.'' Okay here we go, time to get into heaven. 
 
 `` Name please.'' Said the one, I presumed, they called God. 
 
 `` Peter Anus.'' I repeated with the most serious voice I could find with a name like mine. 
 
 `` Peter Anus... Peter Anus.'' Said God as he went up and down the list trying to find my name. 
 
 `` Nope.'' He barked, `` There appears to be no man with that such name, are you sure that's your name?'' 
 
 `` I hope so.'' I replied, `` Otherwise my parents are assholes and wanted to make their own child cry. How do n't you remember someone you made with a name like that?'' I asked because now I was curious myself. Nobody had ever forgotten my name before. 
 
 Ok i have to go to work now, will do part 2 if it's requested. 

