[ WP ] You call to order pizza , but unknowingly call a hit man

*Hello? Bill the Hitman here? * 
 
 Hi, is this Dominos? 
 
 *No, I kill people with bullets, not shitty food. * 
 
 Sorry! My mistake! 
 
 ( click ) 
 
 **SEVEN MONTHS LATER** 
 
 *Excuse me, do n't I know you? * 
 
 I do n't think so. No, I... wait. Hitman? 
 
 *Pizza? * 
 
 Bring it in you old son of a gun! How the hell are you? I have n't seen you since that wrong number where I did n't even see you because that's how a fucking phone call works, dummy! 
 
 *Aw, well, you know. They're keeping me busy. * 
 
 I saw they made a movie about you. Me and Jeanine -- 
 
 *How's Jeanine? * 
 
 Still in an iron lung but she leads a normal life. You know, AS YOU DO. Anyhow, it was a great flick! Did all of that stuff really happen to you? 
 
 *Truthfully? * 
 
 Yeah! 
 
 *No. No, no. See, Hollywood, they just up the ante on everything. Like you remember Good Morning Vietnam? Robin Willimas, right? Well, it was supposed to be a true story, but none of that stuff happened. Like, the guy he was supposed to be portraying was like `` Sure, I was a DJ in Vietnam, but none of that other stuff happened.'' That's MY movie, too. Why did they even need my name? They may as well have called me Shingle MCDingle. I could have been played by a leprechaun. * 
 
 So all of that stuff, the stuff with the president's son and the ski lodge and the DNA test and the robots and the courtroom battle and the part set in the year 2816 and the talking dog and the CGI snowman and the `` will they wo n't they'' romance between you and the supermodel and the car chase and the pie fight and the product placement and the whole thing with Keith Sweat, you're telling me none of that was real? 
 
 *Sorry, man. But I still killed a lot of people. They got that part right. * 
 
 Well, it's been fun, but I just bought some pancake mix, so I'm gon na go home and flush it down the toilet. 
 
 *Flush it down the toilet? But why? * 
 
 You kill people for money, but you're asking ME why I'm flushing pancake mix down the toilet? 
 
 *Touche. * 
 
 
 EDIT: Typos
