[ WP ] You are a supervillain named The Keymaster . Instead of creating grand plans to conquer the world , all you do is run around and free other captured supervillains from prison , after the superheroes defeat them .

Once a month, I set my work phone down, unplug the router, give my office assistants a day off and set some time to myself. Pull up the red velvet chair, the ottoman, put a record or two on, dunk myself in a warm tub or make plans to walk in the local park. Ideally, that day should contain no more than one interruption that was unscheduled which has the option of being pleasant or disturbing. More often than not, it is fairly benign and is received with apathy or mild amusement. 
 
 
 However, should an extraordinary circumstance arise, such as a personal emergency, I have my trust analogue phone for a messaging service to contact me. My job necessitates full discretion, and while 12 vacation days seems like a lot of time to the average man, it is precious indeed. 
 
 
 Most of my clients do not have my personal number. 
 
 
 Thus, my day was almost ruined as I turned it on in the early hours of the morning where I had decided to hike the mountain trails with a pack of rescue dogs, finding instead that my personal phone had no less than fifty text messages. All, locations of supermax prisons where none other than the worst criminals were held. Notorious murders, villainy of the lowest level and your standard run of the mill supervillains. 
 
 
 Were it not for the fact that today was *April 1st*, I would have instead broken into most of the homes of my clients and provided a disturbance to *them*. 
 
 
 A bark to my right alerted me to an eager daschund, a full milk chocolate coat, flanked on each side by huskies. I grabbed my walking stick and headed out.
