[ WP ] A Man dies and expects to go either Heaven or Hell , only to be told by an Angel that he already was in Hell and now his punishment is over

Harold felt his bald head grow a thick curly mane in the span of three seconds. His bad tooth stopped hurting and he heard the ocean's roar in his left ear, then his right ear that had hitherto been deaf for countless years. 
 
 It looked like he was on the edge of a Scottish cliffside, or somewhere green, remote, and naturey. He gazed off the long grass bedighted black rill of felt black rock at the azure ocean, without ever needing to squint despite missing his glasses. 
 
 `` Guess I was wrong,'' he said to God. At least, he now assumed God existed and was probably listening. 
 
 He remembered dying, cloying his way into what he expected to be the nothingness of eternal oblivion as his body was stretched across the hospital cot; tubes shoved into every orifice, other tubes prodded into him creating new ones, himself deteriorating into a being of more cancer cells than Harold cells. 
 
 ``... Unless hell has better scenery than what I'd pictured.'' He said, scratching his fully regrown locks. 
 
 `` What do you mean by that?'' A high, yet resonant voice chimed behind Harold. 
 
 He turned to see a nude, hairless man who's flesh was segmented into rings like a tree. Each of those flesh segments turned in the opposite direction of the segments bookending it. It became apparent that each ring had one small eye apiece, and at different times these eyes would appear then disappear as the rings rotated around the body they composed. 
 
 For some reason, Harold did n't find any of this unsettling in the slightest. Answering politely, he said, `` I never saw myself in Heaven. Always thought I was destined for, well, you know.'' 
 
 The ringed man cocked his head to the side in the manner of a dog hearing a strange noise. 
 
 `` Unless,'' Harold felt a second of panic, `` This really is Hell and your about to give me the business.'' 
 
 The ringed-man tilted his head back and released a noise like a chorus of bells. Laughter, Harold noticed, and soon succumbed to joining into its contagion. 
 
 `` This is n't hell,'' the ringed man said. `` It's Heaven. I'm an angel.'' 
 
 `` Figured,'' Harold said, unable to hold back a smirk. He felt lighter than when he was a child, and something about the atmosphere bombarded him with positive vibes. 
 
 `` You're a good guesser,'' the angel said. `` It's as you said: you were destined for Hell.'' 
 
 ``... But?'' 
 
 The angel held back another laugh. `` You were just there. You've served your time, Harold.'' 
 
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 They walked for miles, but no fatigue entered Harold's lungs, no cricks bothered his knees or back, and the scenery exploded into vivider and more ethereally wild, vivacious majesty. A constant influx of blue whales leapt from the ocean and erupted from their blowholes geysers that literally turned into monsoons in the sky that refracted endless möbius strips of rainbows. Er, kind of. It was getting harder and harder for Harold to put words to what he was seeing. 
 
 `` Really, if earth was Hell, it was actually quite palpable.'' 
 
 The angel halted and swiveled to face Harold. Tears formed in all his eyes. `` The fact that you ever felt pain is an insufferable thought to me. The torment you faced, being existentially lost, not knowing your place in the universe, not knowing who or what or why you were... that reason alone makes a good argument for going back and not creating existence to begin with.'' 
 
 `` But, I-'' something caught in Harold's throat. It was an immutable sadness from realizing how lost he'd been on earth. Then, in an instant, that sadness burned like a ball of wax thrown into the sun as it confronted his joy at the epiphany he now did KNOW and was fully aware of his purpose, destiny, identity, and the undeniable, unshakeable beauty and glory of himself and all existence. He fell to his knees. 
 
 `` A mere second without this wisdom is unfathomable,'' he sobbed. `` And I lived a lifetime!'' 
 
 `` And yet, in a way,'' the angel closed his eyes in reverence, `` I envy you. We beings who never had to bear that separation, though blessed in that abstinence, can never feel the unparalleled comparison of having once suffered, and now be eternally filled.'' 
 
 `` So that's heaven? Even horror and suffering are transmuted into more perfection... And I almost asked how Hell had been approved to begin with.''
