[ WP ] Describe your everyday morning routine in the most badass way possible .

I reside on a continent my forefathers conquered from the previous inhabitants. We forced them out through tact and strength of will. I have taken a fortification for myself now, using it as a shield against the rains and winds of the gods that came before. I end my false death to the sound of the shrieking banshee. My hunting companion that keeps the plagued creatures at bay rises with me, bearing its teeth in joy at my rebirth. 
 
 I push through a cleansing routine, applying ceremonial sap before running the sharpened blades across my throat. My life is spared during the ceremony. I dress myself in the garments taken from slaves, garments forced together with little spears and thrust into the blood of plants. I awaken my mate, assuring her that I will return if I am able to do so before the sun is eaten by Earth once more. 
 
 I thrust my feet into the skin of a cow, gripping them close to my ankles for better traction during the day. The hunting companion follows me to the feeding room, growling for attention. I unfasten the dry concoction of meat and grain, letting it fall to the creature's feeding trough. While its attention is occupied, I thrust a grain brick into a box and flash fry my morning sustenance. The feast warms my body against the night's lasting chilled breath. 
 
 As I leave, I set the electricity in my fortification to shriek and call the local guards should anyone enter without permission. I close the front gate and drop the mechanism of metal into place, a further precaution against marauders and bandits. My metal machine roars to life under my hands and feet, begging to be released, begging to run free. But I refuse. I have a long day ahead, and I will need its services to return to my fortifications. It will never be free, and neither shall I.
