[ WP ] Civilization has fallen , but brave treasure hunters have heard the legend of Ft. Knox . The automated defenses , however , are still online .

*Does n't look like much... * 
 
 Just a squat, ugly pyramid, rising out of the dust and sand. The ancients had created artifacts of breathtaking and terrible beauty, but this was n't one of them. There were always dungeons, underneath the sand, and their purpose still baffled even the wisest of the elders. But this one looked like *mostly* dungeon. Barely made it out of the Earth at all. 
 
 Bil was n't here for wisdom, though, he was here for treasure. The sun still beat down, cruelly from the horizon behind, but the scouts were returning, and he'd need a decent view of the approach if he were to understand what they were telling him. Bil's eyes caught a glimpse of his second, An, head scout. She was limping a bit, under the robes and the blinders and the goggles. She was tasked with the most dangerous job of all the scouts, finding an entrance. Bil fidgeted, impatient to hear from her, but An was always slow, always careful, even in the dimming light. Sunlight meant death, and nobody knew it better than An. She never got burned, never had to cut off a tumor. Even now, she shuffled along, head down, nothing but robes visible. But then again, An was limping this evening. 
 
 *'' What happened to your foot? Doge pack? `` * Bil was getting annoyed. An was still pulling off the robes and he was ready to leave. 
 
 *'' Heh, got careless. `` * 
 
 *'' I doubt that. `` * 
 
 *'' Caught it on a loop of razor wire on the way out. It'll mend,'' * she shrugged. 
 
 Bil could tell she was embarrassed, but he was taking no chances. 
 
 *'' See the watermaster, get it cleaned off. `` * 
 
 *'' We ca n't spare the water! `` * 
 
 *'' We ca n't spare your foot if it gets infected. You planning on retiring soon? `` * 
 
 *'' Fine. `` * 
 
 The threat was effective. An was 35, long past the age when most scouts have retired, or moved on to a safer position, like Boss Bil. But An was too small to carry treasure, too independent to take orders, and had no interest in leading. Bil knew, she'd be a scout until the day she died. 
 
 *'' So: Whatcha got? How do we get in? `` * 
 
 ***************************************** 
 
 Jojo bought it first. Just walked into an antechamber, there was a flash of light, and a scream. The three behind him dove for cover behind some weird, kinetic metal sculptures as the blinding, burning light streamed into the corridor. Not even those taking cover emerged unscathed. Ry's eyes still watered, as he waiting patiently in front of Bil. Nobody understood how the ancients could've piped sunlight into a dark room, but it did n't matter. 
 
 *'' Send out word to the other teams,'' * 
 
 Bil ordered quietly. He'd seen this before, years earlier, exploring the legendary ruin, *OHYO*, a treasure trove beyond imagining, containing the alchemical miracle, producing an infinite stream of treasure. To this day it still functioned, though nobody could say how. Bil did, however, understand rule # 1: If he knew what a philosopher's stone was he'd suggest it'd be enough. Get your treasure, get out, but never, ever venture deeper into the cylinder. 
 
 *'' Always send a probe before entering a room. A divining stick, or a egress pole. Wave it around, make sure the trap is n't there'' * 
 
 Ry nodded and sprinted off. There'd be two more screams before all the teams got the message, and started taking it seriously. Bil sighed. Except for An, the scouts were always too reckless. The old adage was true: *There were old scouts and there were bold scouts. But there were never any cold scouts. * 
 
 ***************************************** 
 
 There were only three of them left, now. Bil, An, and the old scout Stee. This venture had gone from bad to worse, just like *OHYO*. After the room traps, there were a series of darkened pits: Pry open a door and OOPS! In you go, sixty or seventy feet down. Bil distinctly heard one of the unfortunates *bounce*. Then there were the table traps. The weird cubical sculptures would be laying dormant, and then just as one of the scavengers would walk by, blinding hot flaming sunlight poured out of it's surface. They lost the last three of their party to a single sculpture. 
 
 Stee was on the verge of bolting, but it was all worth it, Bil judged: The vault was exposed, and as baffling as it might be to them, the vault doors, ( that no sorcerer could pry open, not in a day or a year, ) had been left *ajar*! Whatever magics the ancients had been protecting were ripe for the plucking. All that was left was for An to signal the all clear. 
 
 A minute after she crept in, covered in her armor against the death-lights, Bil heard a strange sound. It took him a while to recognize it, as he'd never heard it before from An. It was *laughter*. 
 
 *'' What's happening?!? `` * he demanded *'' Is it safe? `` * 
 
 *'' It's safe, come on in'' * 
 
 But her laughter continued. What the hell was going on? Bil strode in, angry and confused. The glow-stick light cast it's gentle glow across walls of amber, bouncing crazy reflections in every direction. 
 
 *Well? Where's our treasure? *'' 
 
 An leaned forward there, in the middle of the corridor, flanked on both side with amber, barely able to breath through the laughter. 
 
 *'' The treasure! Where is it? `` * 
 
 After a moment she caught her breath. Stee's nerve finally broke and he backed out of the treasure chamber, wild eyed. Bil paid him no mind. 
 
 *'' The treasure? `` * he repeated, stupidly. There was something here he was n't getting. Something was very, *very* wrong. 
 
 *'' Bil, there is no treasure here. `` * 
 
 *'' I do n't understand where's th-'' * 
 
 *'' I said there is no treasure! `` * She yelled and stifled a hiccup. *'' There's no water in here at all! Just all this worthless gold...'' *
