[ WP ] A human being that can not die has wandered the earth for 100,00 years . They finally fall in love and marry a murderous con artist that just took out a huge life insurance policy on them .

Matt was enjoying a well deserved day off from work. His job as history professor at a prestigious university meant he seldom had time to simply relax at home. He was always busy grading papers or going on international conferences about some new historical finding. His reputation made him a much sought after professionnal reference in these type of matters. A reputation that was built apon his 954,265 years spent travelling the earth. 954,266 as of next monday. He was a few days off but it was little more than a second to his eyes se he had decided to spend a day relaxing at home with his lovely wife to celebrate. 
 
 His thoughts had wandered to some other concern when he felt the surprising yet all too familiar feeling of a knife blade sliding into the back of his neck. 
 
 *Ugh... a knife Rebacca? Really? I thought you'd be more creative than that my dear... * 
 
 He rose up from his seat and pulled the knife out. His wife Rebecca was standing away from him, her eyes white with fear, her mouth was wide open but no sound was coming out of it. 
 
 *Speechless? Yes it's one of the more frequent reactions* 
 
 Matt slowly walked to the kitchen to wash the blood off the knife. He casually bandaged the wound to stop the bleeding. 
 
 *Look at this mess, the carpet is ruined. * 
 
 > wha....wha.....What are you? 
 
 Matt turned to face his wife, still paralized by fear in the living room. 
 
 *It's me my love, Matt, your husband* 
 
 > How are you not dead!? 
 
 She was slowly returning to a regular state of mind, her arms no longer frozen in shock. Her face now bore signs of anger rather than surprise 
 
 > HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD?!? 
 
 *Well aside from the fact that you clearly missed any vital point by a good inch and a half, i'm afraid there simply does n't exist anything on this world that can kill me. * 
 
 Rebecca produced a second knife from her dress and lunged at Matt, stabbing him repeatadly in the stomach and his chest. 
 
 > DIE YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH! 
 
 *Rebecca please stop, you're making a fool of yourself. * 
 
 She droped her knife to the floor and quickly picked up a golf club that was propped up against the living room wall. 
 
 *Please, now you're just being rude. Stop this childish behavior. * 
 
 > I want my money you bastard! 
 
 *Enough Rebecca, you are beginning to irk me. Come, have a seat, we need to talk. * 
 
 Matt poured himself a new glass of brandy and offered Rebecca her favorite gin tonic. 
 
 *I'm immortal Rebecca, I can not die by any means you can think of. * 
 
 > How... how old are you? 
 
 *If I'm not mistaking, 954,265 years, 11 months 29 days and a few hours. I may be off by a few days since I'va had to adjust from different calendars a few times but I like to think I'm pretty close to the actual date of my birth. * 
 
 > How do you?... 
 
 *How do I do it? I have n't the slighest clue. I'm just... ME. I ca n't age, I ca n't get sick, I ca n't be shot, I ca n't be poisoned, I ca n't be hordasted... * 
 
 > Hordasted? what the hell is that? 
 
 *Oh sorry, my bad. It's an old form of torture practice by the Pletokartissian empire over 800,000 years ago. They are not in your modern history books so you would n't know about them. It was a particularly vicious form of torture that resulted in a long and painful death but little to no physical evidence on the body. It was very popular with ritual and honor killings back then. It got lost some 785,000 years ago. Anyway, the word stuck with me. * 
 
 > Do you feel pain? 
 
 *Well not like you would feel it but I do feel the attempts on my life, just really annoying rather than painful. * 
 
 > So... when I tried to... 
 
 *Smother me in my sleep last week? yeah I knew. I pretended to sleep it off, did n't want to upset you. * 
 
 > The poison last month? 
 
 *I thought I detected a hint of arsenic in your soup that day. I was wondering why you appeared to be swetting a lot the rest of the evening. Guess I'm getting old. * 
 
 Rebecca poured herself a 3rd glass, the revelations were taking their toll on her. 
 
 *I want you to know Rebecca that I bare you no ill feelings. I mean it's hardly the first time somebody made an attempt on my life. Honestly with all the wars and brutality of human evolution, I lost count a long time ago. Remind me to tell you about my time in the Atlantican army, boy those were brutal times. I should have died over 200 times during those wars. * 
 
 > If you knew, why did you stay with me 
 
 *I knew you had a reputation and most probably had a trail of bodies behind you but to be honest I quite enjoy your company. You have a fire in your eyes, a passion in your soul that few people have and I wanted to stay close to you. I knew about the insurance policy the moment you took it on me but I did n't care. People of you caliber are hard to come by so a few compromises have to be made here and there. * 
 
 > People of my caliber? How many where there before me? 
 
 *I think you're the 21st person I've accepted in my life, maybe the 22nd... Definitly the first person in almost 3000 years* 
 
 > Person? 
 
 *Well not all of them have been women, human sexuality like everything else, evolves with time. A have had my decent share of male lovers as well. * 
 
 > And they all tried to kill you? 
 
 *Oh heavens no, only 7 or 8 did. For the most part it was nice, the idea of growing old with someone you can be intimate with. Of course it does n't last long since I do n't age. Sooner or later they realize something's wrong and they begin to ask question. Here, let me tell you about Isabella, she was quite something, not unlike you... * 
 
 As Matt was talking, Rebecca started to feel dizzy, her head felt heavier than normal and she was having trouble formulating clear thoguht in her mind. 
 
 *I see my little potion as taken it's toll my dear Rebecca. You should be immobilized for 5 or 6 hours depending on the dosage. * 
 
 Her eyes were moving up and down rapidly, the only muscle she could still interact with while the potion was in full effect 
 
 *No no... do n't try to talk. I know how you feel, I was once under the effects of the same potion myself at one time. It's a little something Bogroastrish hunters discovered 254,680 years ago. A very effective nerve agent that, just like Hordast torture, leaves no trace in your system or your body. Now speaking of the Hordast torture, I do wish to apologize in advance for what comes next my love. I like you Rebecca, I really do but you have to understand that as soon as people find out they start to ask question, then they start talking too much. Not intentionaly, at least not at first but an off hand comment to a friend here, a shared secret to spiritual leader there and before you know it, you're being taken to a dungeon or a secret facility where people try to cut you into pieces and study your secrets. I promised myself I would never go trough this ever again rebecca so when people find out my secret, they must be silenced. The Hordast torture may be barbaric and unsualy cruel, but your deah will look like a simple heart attack and it's important that I keep a low profile. I love you my dear Rebecca, but unfortunately you time is up. Goodbye. *
