[ WP ] Every apocalypse scenario goes down at the same time . It 's getting a little confusing .

BLAM! 
 
 `` Chad what the hell! If you shoot the zombies the rest are just going to come here. Have n't you seen a horror movie before?'' 
 
 `` Bro. I swear to God. That was n't no zombie bro. It was like... some kinda alien thing, I think.'' 
 
 `` Pssh.'' Lucas audibly scoffed, but as the groups de facto leader I figured I had to check it out. 
 
 `` Alright guys, you know the drill, time to pack up the tents, Chad ruined it for everyone. There were more groans at that. I walked over to him, and slapped him on the shoulder. 
 
 `` Just givin you shit man. Where'd you say this alien was?'' 
 
 `` Just in the trees there,'' he pointed, `` past that big rock.'' 
 
 `` Well why do n't we go have a look. See what this thing really was. Like we needed any more problems.'' 
 
 Initially, it was just crazy weather. Coastal towns started getting flooded out, tidal waves hit all across the globe, there was a freak blizzard in Texas... it was crazy, but livable. But right away we started getting reports on the radio ( cell phones had all died at the beginning ) of zombie attacks. Sure enough, I walked over to my neighbor Chad's house to see if he had heard that, and found him on the ground with his roommate trying to eat him. The broom stick in between the Bradley's mouth was the only thing keeping him alive. So I ran over and grabbed a dumbbell off the wrack and smashed Formerly Bradley's head in. After a victory high five, we stocked up on what food and weapons we both had, and decided we should start making our way out into the country. 
 
 On the way, we found a group of about fifteen survivors, and left Chicago as fast as we could. Which was a great idea, because by the time we hit Aurora, we started hearing reports of a Kaiju rising out of Lake Michigan and destroying the city. That was about five days ago, and I was really hoping that we were done with surprises. 
 
 As we walked into the wood line, we saw it. Definitely an alien. Not like an ET, Alien, or Predator type, but a strange mass of tentacles. In fact, if I did n't miss my guess... 
 
 `` Good news Chad,'' he looked up at me with a unnerved little smile, `` it's not an alien.'' 
 
 `` And the bad news?'' 
 
 `` It's a Shoggoth.'' 
 
 `` A what Bro?'' 
 
 `` Some sort of creepy, other deep world-y blob monster. I think we're supposed to go insane if we see it.'' 
 
 `` Yeah Bro. I think I'm headed to crazy town as we speak.'' 
 
 He might have been, but at lease he was n't headed to dead town. As we were talking over the body of the Shoggoth (? ), some sort of saucer flew over our companions packing up camp. One minute it was there, there was a flash of light, and everyone in sight lay dead from lazar bolts. 
 
 `` Huh. Well I got bad news for you Chad.'' 
 
 `` Yeah Bro?'' 
 
 `` Yeah. There's aliens too.''
