[ WP ] Stuck

`` Well, fag, any ideas?'' 
 
 Fyodor scoffed at the name picking, glaring at the pale blond though the eye that was n't covered by a patch of hair. 
 The pair had decided to take a trip by the Siberian tundra, trying to investigate some late happenings as told and rumored by the people in the area. 
 Naturally - according to the own Alexandr - Fyodor could n't go on his own because he would probably be eaten by a bear or mauled by dressing like a girl. 
 *Literately* dressing like a girl. 
 
 `` If it's not the bear, your town fold would go out and kill you in any case.'' 
 `` That's not funny, you asshole!'' 
 
 Young and *feminine* as Fyodor was, Alexandr had to admit the young man was strong and resilient. Despite his petite frame and lack of any visible muscles, he was able to wield a large lumber axe with great ease. 
 However, that would be useless in the area both had fallen after one of his mistakes: a dark and deep cave with little to no illumination. 
 Any light that could come in was from the exact hole they fell from, and it was already past nine in the night. 
 Pulling a small flashlight out of the many pockets inside his coat, Alexandr pointed it at the red haired Fyodor, who was sitting down with his legs crossed and pouting. The frills on the dress he was wearing were badly torn off by the rocks. 
 
 `` Will you ever stop calling me like that?'' He barked. 
 `` I was trained to tell the truth.'' Alexandr replied bluntly. 
 `` You are a dick, did you know that?'' 
 `` That still makes you a fag.'' 
 
 The annoyed young man stood up, arms on his hips. 
 
 `` I'll have you know *Sasha*,'' his spite was leaking all over his name. `` that I am not. Just because I like and wear dresses does not make me not only a target for your blatant bigotry and misunderstanding, but I have specifically told you that I am *not* gay.'' 
 
 Alexander gave him a look of disbelief, raising an eyebrow. 
 
 `` What?!'' Fyodor spat. `` What?! Do n't give me that look, you arse! What's with that, eh? I do n't see any girl wearing a pair of pants being called a dyke!'' 
 `` Have you *looked* yourself at the mirror lately?'' 
 `` Why, I did before going out with you. I always do. This *used* to be one of my best outfits but I never knew we'd be going into the middle of nowhere, had to run for our lives because we have the FSB behind our ba-'' 
 `` It's still the KGB.'' Alexander remarked with the same bluntness as before. 
 `` What *ever* they are, if that makes you happy. We are running from these idiots and now we are stuck here. *I* am stuck with you here. Of all the worst possible outcomes, it had to be getting stuck with an idiot, ex-Soviet spy macho who has a kink for guns!'' 
 
 The cave's walls lit up briefly, a loud'bang' echoing around. 
 A yelp of pain came from the red hair as his shoulder felt on fire, suddenly feeling how his own blood trickled down. 
 He whined, glaring at the blond who had not yet hidden the culprit weapon. His face was finally displaying some emotion other than'bored blank', though annoyance was n't new on him either. 
 
 `` YOU ASSHOLE! IDIOT! IMBECILE!'' 
 `` Quiet, they might hear us.'' Alexandr stared at him, taking out the magazine from his hand gun. 
 `` And you would think they could n't have HEARD THAT FUCKING GUNSHOT, YOU FUCKING MORON?! WHAT WAS TH-'' 
 
 There was a small hint of amusement on the soldier holding the flashlight, even thought he was not particularly happy to know he had used his final round to quiet the'idiot'. 
 
 `` I told you, you're a fag. A real Russian would have taken that without whining.'' 
 `` Says the former German with a fetish for guns.'' Fyodor barked. 
 `` Please, do n't confuse me with Ludwig. Unlike him, I'm straight...''
