[ WP ] The absolute worst opening line to a novel you can come up with .

Long ago in the kingdom of Estenctiaon, Lord Marluxious handsomely looked out across the city with his extremely attractive eyes and face, and saw to his East the Eastern tower of Estenctiaon, and to his West the Western tower of Estenctiaon, and to his North the Northern tower of Estenctiaon, however he could not see the Southern tower of Estenctiaon because there was a wall behind him and the tower was behind him because he was facing north, as I hope is obvious from my description of where he was looking, as to see the Western tower of Estenctiaon and the Eastern tower of Estenctiaon and the Northern tower of Estenctiaon he would have to be facing to the north.
