[ WP ] Earth 's number one export in the interstellar trade are sentient , designer house-cats , which are enormously popular as pets across the galaxy . You run a small cattery .

900am - Earth Standard time, wake up. 
 915am EST - bowel movements - erratic because of MegaBeef meal ordered last night from Regulus IV. 
 I am still sitting on the toilet and customers are banging on the door already. We do n't even open until 11 EST anyway. These people need to go down to Bally's Total Cattery on Arcturus's third moon, they're open 34/7. 
 10am EST - start the automatic feeders. 
 1030am EST - Open the door early because I'm tired of hearing the fucking Grabulars banging on the door - tell them to piss off. I only sell for legitimate owners, not snacks. 
 1130am EST - Street's gone quiet, cats are mewling more than usual. 
 1135am EST - Holy shit. The Space-Pope is here. She was n't scheduled planet-side for another 17 di-urns. The place is a mess, I do n't have her Shorthaired tabby ready, Space-pope loves her Tabbys. 
 1145am EST - Activating mandatory Customer Service Wiretap Cameras. 
 Interaction transcribed below: 
 ___________________________________ 
 
 CUSTOMER ( POPE ): Shopkeeper, the day is bright. 
 CATKEEP ( 404 ): And the Suns may never set, Exalted one. 
 CUSTOMER ( POPE ): The Tabby is ready as requested? 
 CATKEEP ( 404 ): W-well, unfortunately, I was under the, ah, impression that you would not arrive for another fortnight yet. So... 
 CUSTOMER ( POPE ): The Cat is not yet ready? 
 CATKEEP ( 404 ): Unfortunately, the gestation period alone is 3 weeks, so your adorable feline wo n't be ready until y-y-your scheduled appointment. 
 CUSTOMER ( POPE ): I am aggravated by this news. 
 CATKEEP ( 404 ): ***CUSTOMER SERVICE DETECTS FEAR FROM EMPLOYEE 404***: M-my, most sincere apologies, your Pope-ness... but as... 
 CUSTOMER ( POPE ): Enough. Shopkeep, is your customer service offline? 
 CATKEEP ( 404 ): ***CUSTOMER SERVICE DETECTS EMPLOYEE 404 INTENDS DECEPTION***: Of course, Madame. As always. 
 CUSTOMER ( POPE ): Very good we do n't want this known. I am here on more urgent business than a mere domestic feline. 
 CATKEEP ( 404 ): Indeed? 
 CUSTOMER ( POPE ): I have need of your eldest feline. 
 CATKEEP ( 404 ): ***CUSTOMER SERVICE DETECTS EMPLOYEE 404 FEAR***: I am sorry, Your most gracious Pope-ed-ness, but Sir Fluffkers can not be disturbed unless by appointment and... 
 CUSTOMER ( POPE ): ***CUSTOMER SERVICE DETECTS CUSTOMER AGITATION, PAY HAS BEEN DOCKED FROM EMPLOYEE 404***: Tell Fluffkers that Horus is dead. 
 
 **CUSTOMER SERVICE DETECTS EXTENDED SILENCE - PAY HAS BEEN DOCKED FROM EMPLOYEE 404. ** 
 
 CATKEEP ( 404 ): Impossible. 
 CUSTOMER ( POPE ): I must speak to Sir Fluffkers. It is of the utmost importance. 
 
 **EMPLOYEE 404 HAS DEACTIVATED CUSTOMER SERVICE BEFORE SALE TRANSPIRED. EMPLOYEE 404'S EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT HAS BEEN TERMINATED. ** 
 
 EX-EMPLOYEE ( 404 ): This way, Madame.
