[ WP ] An assassin is hired to kill a target but ca n't get though the target 's plot armor .

I never missed. I never let things go to chance. And I never get discovered. 
 
 But this new target was proving a little smarter than your average bear. 
 
 *Or maybe*, I mused as I reviewed my previous failed attempts, *just luckier*. 
 
 The first time, I had used my standard plan. 
 
 For the first two weeks, I studied her routine. It was pretty boring, as routines go. Leave for work at 8:30, come back at 6:00, walk the dog at 8:00, go to bed at 10:30. I had no idea who wanted her dead, or why. But a job's a job, and half a million dollars is half a million dollars. 
 
 I set up on the roof of her neighbor's house, a couple hundred yards away ( fuck the country, it's hard to get work done there ). 
 
 As usual, I used my modified.338 Winmag with subsonic bullets to make the shot quieter. 
 
 As usual, I stayed there for two days to make sure I had a good spot. 
 
 As usual, I watched everything she brought into the house, just in case. 
 
 *A pet bird? Really? * 
 
 *Christ, you're not fooling anyone by flashing condoms- everyone knows you have no chance with any sort of guy* 
 
 As usual, I took the shot as she came home, instead of left it- more time until she's expected somewhere. 
 
 I squeezed the 4-pound trigger, the crosshairs lined up perfectly with her chest. 
 
 The bullet flew straight, and I relaxed for the second and a half it'd take to reach her. 
 
 *What the fuck? * 
 
 That goddamned bird had flown through an open window-she always remembered to close her windows- and right in front of the bullet. I knew enough to not take a second shot- she'd be looking for a gun. 
 
 The second time, it was a car bomb- C4 hotwired into the engine so it'd blow when she turned the keys. 
 
 I was n't enough of a dumbass to watch as it blew, so I went into her house and synced her CCTV stream with a private YouTube channel. Low-level security, sure, but who the hell was she? 
 
 No one. She was no one and no one was looking out for her. 
 
 I watched from my laptop as she strode out of the house. 
 
 She walked up to her car, fumbled around in her purse, and walked back to her house- she had forgotten her keys. 
 
 Whatever- it's not like C4 has an expiration date, and I could always wait a little longer. 
 
 Well, as it turned out, Little Miss 500K had been parking in an illegal spot this entire time, and the 30 seconds it took for her to get her keys were the 30 seconds it took for a cop car to notice. 
 
 She came outside the house to find a cop blocking her way and watched while her car got towed. 
 
 This time, I would n't fail. My plan this time did n't involve guns or bombs-or, at least, using them on her. I had found a very special place and knew exactly what to do with it. 
 
 **The Fourth Wall**. Behind which was the person responsible for foiling my plans. 
 
 An MP-5, enough MRE's to last a year and a water purification system were the only things in my pack. 
 
 C4 had failed me once before, so I went a slightly stronger route. 
 
 I had contacts in the government, but I would n't call them *friends*. 
 I invited them over for a meeting. Sadly, someone had laced their drinks with hypodermics and they were tied to chairs with a gun to their heads before they knew it. 
 
 It was pretty easy to get the launch codes out of them, and by the next morning I had burned their bodies and was on my way to the White House. 
 
 All government security is a joke. 
 
 A bomb threat and a couple of warning shots got everyone down to the bunkers in a hurry, and I slipped into the sewer system and into the President's residence. 
 
 Of course, the bunker is where the launch terminal was, so I had to bust open the door. 
 
 It was supposedly made of titanium. Do n't make me laugh. 
 
 The Secret Service sometimes have a scant idea of what they're doing, so it took me a couple minutes to kill them and take the President hostage in front of the Cabinet. 
 
 With one hand I kept a gun trained on the President and with the other I launched a low-order uranium bomb ( can you believe we still use *uranium* bombs? Lucky for me though, otherwise I would n't have survived the detonation ) at the Fourth Wall ( which, naturally, was located in Rome, Texas ). 
 
 I got out using the President as a human shield, killed him once we were out of DC, and headed to Rome, Texas. 
 
 I had to steal a suit from the DoD so I would n't get fried from the radiation, but that only delayed me half an hour or so. 
 
 I walked right through the spot where the Fourth Wall used to be, and I saw the person who kept foiling my plans. 
 
 `` So, Megan,'' I started in my best negotiating voice. `` Let's have a little talk, shall we?'' 
 
 `` Wh- who are you?'' She asked in a quivering tone. 
 
 `` Oh, I think you know. You're the one who keeps stopping my attempts to kill...'' I paused for a moment. What was her name again? It was always best to not know the name, sever any possible emotional connection. But sometimes I remembered. `` Jane.'' 
 
 She gasped. `` AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'' 
 
 `` What?'' I asked dispassionately. 
 
 In between sobs and gasps for air, she managed to choke out, `` All I-'' *sob* `` Wanted to do was-'' *sniffle* `` Write a story about a girl who likes horses and-'' *Christ, these sobs are getting annoying* `` Birds! And then you kept changing my story and I had to change it so she does n't get hurt!'' 
 
 Slowly I realized. `` Wait, so... you're a little girl?'' 
 
 She sneered. `` You liked the act, huh? No, bitch, I'm not a *little girl*. I'm a novelist writing a symbolist book and you keep fucking it up with your stupid one-dimensional character! I mean, *'sever any possible emotional connection?'* Christ, your inner monologue sounds like a 12 year-old boy trying to sound cool!'' 
 
 `` Point taken,'' I conceded, `` But you know you have to let me kill Jane.'' 
 
 `` Yeah, right.'' 
 
 `` Okay, you can stay up all night changing your book back from what I wrote. But eventually you'll miss something and keep writing, and your precious Jane will stay dead. I need no food, nor oxygen, nor rent money. I live only on paper and I can keep fighting you forever. Can you say the same?'' 
 
 I was proud of that retort, and it must have shown, because the look on her face changed from a sneer to a frown for a second. But then I saw the scariest grin I've ever seen, or will see. 
 
 `` Goodbye, Mister Random Hitman.'' 
 
 And with that, **THE SEQUENCE** was pressed. 
 
 `` NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'' I screamed. But it was too late. 
 
 Control-A 
 
 Delete 
 
 Control-S 
 
 And it faded to black. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

