[ WP ] He was born with an evil-sounding laugh and shady looks , and a strange appreciation for gothic artitechture . He desperately tries to avoid doing evil things .

Mortimer shouldered his bag and reached for the doorknob, a downpour of rain greeted him after opening the door. 
 He held out his hand, rain pelted its surface in large drops, `` Better wear a poncho, I guess.'' 
 
 Henrietta glared outside the window. Her fat cat sat on the window stool, purring gently. 
 She squinted, eyes glued to the figure passing by her window. `` *Mortimer*.'' 
 There walked Mortimer, taking slow heavy steps as he pressed against the wind, his black poncho billowed behind him like a dark cape. 
 A shiver ran across Henrietta's spine, `` That man gives me the heebiejeebies.'' 
 
 Mortimer was halfway to work when the same old building caught his eyes, the same one everyday. 
 He smiled to himself as he stared at the age-old mansion of gothic design, `` Look at that *tower*, those doors, the windows! So perfect!'' 
 The curtains were quickly drawn into place. 
 
 `` Harold,'' a concerned woman asked. 
 `` Yes, dear?'' replied Harold, fixing his tie. 
 `` That man is here again, looking inside the windows.'' 
 `` Just leave him be, Martha. He ai n't hurting nobody.'' 
 The heavy sound of a doorhanger banging into an old wooden door. 
 Martha made her way to the door and stared through the peephole, she gasped and fell backwards onto her bum, `` Harold! Harold! He's here.'' 
 Outside the door was Mortimer, running his hands over the heavy iron doorhanger, ``....A real beauty.'' 
 The woman crawled backwards, `` Harold! Did you hear me? He's here! He's come to take me away!'' 
 Harold burst into the hallway, a chain of garlic hanging around his neck, wielding a wooden stake, `` Bar the door!'' 
 She slammed her back against the door and began to cry, `` Harold, do something.'' she whimpered. 
 `` Keep quiet!'' he commanded, no sound from the other side of the door. 
 He inched closer and brought his eye up to the peephole, nobody. 
 Harold slumped onto the floor, `` He's gone.'' 
 His wife stared at him, raising an eyebrow, `` Garlic?'' 
 `` Shut up.'' he muttered, red-faced. 
 
 Mortimer walked in the office, got to his desk and hung his heavy woolen coat over his chair. 
 He tapped the vampire bobble-head on desk, smiling as it did what bobble-heads do, and made his way to the coffee machine. 
 After pouring out a cup for Mortimer, the machine beeped in anger, signalling that it was out of coffee. 
 Kelly walked into the break room and stepped in beside Mortimer, staring at the coffee machine, `` Is it empty?'' 
 Mortimer stirred his cup and nodded, he smiled when an great idea hit him. 
 
 The long slender man abruptly turned his neck to face her, `` If you want, you can have mine. I'm not a fan of machine coffee.'' 
 Kelly felt the blood drain from her face, `` You did n't put anything in there, did you?'' she chuckled nervously. 
 Mortimer's dark eyes locked with her own, he began to laugh that frightening laugh of his, then cut it off abruptly, `` I would n't dare.'' said Mortimer with a large toothy grin. 
 Sweat began to pour down Kelly's back, `` You know, I think I read somewhere that coffee is actually really unhealthy, I'll switch to tea.'' she said, turning to leave. 
 The man cleared his throat, Kelly somehow felt compelled to stop, `` I insist,'' he smiled, `` Please.'' 
 She took the cup with a trembling hand and took a sip. 
 The man's eyes went wide and laughed that toe-curling laugh again. 
 The plastic cup of coffee hit the floor, `` What did you put in there?'' she said with frightful eyes. 
 `` Sugar and milk,'' replied Mortimer. 
 `` O-oh.'' she stammered. 
 `` It's a joke,'' the man winked, `` We like to have fun here.'' 
 Kelly suffered from an increased heart rate for the rest of the week. 
 
 Work came at an end, Mortimer frowned when he saw it was still raining and donned his black poncho. 
 Aside from a group of scene kids declaring their undying loyalty to him, the trip home was uneventful. 
 He placed his poncho on the coathanger, a black cat came out to greet him. 
 Mortimer scratched the cat behind her ears, `` Hello Paws, I feel like I did good today. I complimented a couple's home, selfishly offered my drink to the needy and even made a joke!'' 
 He smiled, `` You know people in my last town used to be afraid of me? Darnest thing. I wo n't allow for that happen here, no sir-ee.'' 
 The cat purred in approval.
