[ WP ] : Homeopathy DOES work ... But only on you .

`` We have the building surrounded! Come out with your hands up!'' a voice rang out through a megaphone. 
 Damn it. 
 I knew the police were bound to show up at some point. 
 
 It all started a couple of years ago. I had 4th stage terminal cancer, and things looked bad. I'm talking front-of-the-line-at-Disney-world, full-page-dedication-in-my-senior-yearbook, already-giving-away-my-possessions bad. You could say I was getting desperate. I decided, fuck it, I'll try this hippie-dippy, homeopathic `` treatment'' thingy I read about. It was n't like real medicine was doing anything for me. 
 Well it worked. Scarily well. I popped a couple of pills. They tasted like grass. I would n't be surprised if it was actually was grass in them. The first breath i took felt good. I was used to pretty much everything hurting at that point, but it did n't. Nothing hurt. I freaked out the doctors pretty good when they did their tests and saw I was 100 % healthy. 
 So yeah, it turns out for some reason, homeopathy works on me. I ca n't explain it, but it does. It was nice not having any health issues. Those hippies have remedies for everything though. Attractiveness, luck, financial woes. Yeah, I got pretty successful pretty quick. My big mistake buying a charm that `` wards off evil''. It seemed harmless enough, who wants to be around `` evil''? 
 Well, turns out there was a lot of `` evil'' people in my apartment building. Who knew? It killed them all. Like, 50 people.... Yeah... Evil averted I guess? Yay? 
 
 I do n't know how exactly the deaths got tied to me so quickly, but they did. So there I was, GTA wanted level 5. 
 I went to my tea cupboard ( I have a lot of teas now ) and grabbed something for intelligence and clarity. I needed to come up with a way out of this. As the water boiled, I went to the window and looked down. The street was glowing with red and blue flashing lights. They had set up a pretty far perimeter around the building. It looked like a few dead officers and S.W.A.T. guys were laying in the street closer to the building. Shit. Why did they have to send `` evil'' cops? 
 The next thing I knew, the glass in front of me exploded, and blood splattered everywhere. The searing pain in the side of my head came at about the same time I had the realization that they had snipers on me. Before I could move, another bullet hit me square in the chest. I moved as fast as I could away from the window to my coffee table a few feet away, leaving a literal stream of blood along the way as I went. With only seconds to live, I grabbed a bottle of what I was pretty sure was `` All-Natural Organic Healing Remedy'', forced off the top and downed a pill. Just one. They're more effective if you have less for some bizarre, unknown reason. Instantly feeling better, I dove behind the couch for more cover. I was soaked in blood and I had a huge hole in the front and back of my shirt, but no wound. I needed a way out of this. There was no time for tea. 
 
 Fuck it. 
 I turned my magnet bracelet so it aligned with my chakras and shit, and used my magneto powers to grab the chain of the necklace from my bedroom. I brought it to me, and grabbed the multi-colored `` crystal energy'' pendant ( literally just dyed glass ). I focused on channeling the chi of the cosmos through my third eye, or some bullshit like that. My skin began to glow. Electricity crackled through my fingertips. I rose into the air, breaking up through my penthouse skylight. I generated two massive balls of energy in each hand as I turned toward the police in the streets below. 
 They messed with the wrong hippie.
