[ WP ] Write the wildest , most absurd and ridiculous story you can think of .

`` We're going to storm the castle,'' said Liam Neeson. He hefted his battle axe over his head and shouted to the assembled slugmen behind him. `` WE'RE GOING TO STORM THE CASTLE.'' 
 
 The slugmen cheered, in an amphibian sort of way. Lots of slimy gutteral noises. It was sufficient. The army surged behind Liam as he charged up the hill towards the castle gate. 
 
 Far above, archers rushed to the battlements, taking aim with their salted arrows. They let fly, and the arrows blotted out two of the three suns in the sky. Arrows pierced the skin of the slugmen, causing them to scream and writhe as the salt shriveled their organs. 
 
 Liam reached the castle gate and shoved a shaped explosive charge against the thick timbers of the gate. He lit the fuse and ran, just as castle defenders poured molten caramel onto the attackers. Liam heard the horrible cries of his fellows as he retreated from the gate. He did not look back. 
 
 There was an explosion, the blast wave rocking the earth and knocking Liam onto his knees. He laughed. He was still chuckling when he turned around and saw what emerged from the ruined gate. 
 
 A troll. A massive troll. It grinned, its ponderous belly swinging in the air as it licked its lips. Liam paled. 
 
 `` Forward, men!'' Liam hefted his axe and ran forward, towards the troll. Behind him, the slugmen stared in awe at the monster. 
 
 Liam reached the troll alone. It bent down and picked him up with one massive hand. Liam roared and screamed as the troll deposited Liam into its mouth and began chewing. 
 
 `` Yum,'' said the troll. `` Liam your movies after *Schindler's List* were all pretty bad.'' 
 
 It burped. `` Especially your role as a Jedi. That was simply abominable.'' 
 
 ***** 
 HA HA HA /r/hpcisco7965 or whatever 
 
 

