[ WP ] You 've been horribly depressed for as long as you can remember . Your life is falling apart . A week ago , an experimental treatment has been announced that lets depression sufferers face their sickness . You are among the few that have been selected for the first human trials .

I was hit hard, 4 years out of school, retrenched, house was foreclosed upon, fiancée left. 
 
 People whom I called friends gone, calls get ignored, messages unanswered. 
 
 People whom I called family ran, I was left uninvited to thanksgiving, Christmas, to my parent's own birthday. 
 
 I was trash in everyone's eyes because I was penniless. 
 
 Living in a cramped apartment, eating takeout for every meal, working in a local diner under the rule of a tyrannical boss, who does everything to screw us over. Takes over half our tips, scolds us in front of customers to show superiority. 
 
 Life could n't get worse. 
 
 Then I got a letter. It was n't some dirty letter with bent corners and the words bill overdue stamped all over it. It was different, clean fluorescent white, sharp edges and the text was written in a gentle tone, telling me of my candidacy into a new medical program. 
 
 I stuffed it into my pocket and headed to work. 
 
 The whole bus trip, my mind was torn between joining the program and refusing to believe I've fallen so low that I needed some shrink to set me straight. 
 
 I was distracted to say the least, I missed my stop, ran 2 blocks to try and get to work in time and still got chewed out by our shithead of a boss infront f the breakfast crowd. 
 
 At that point, I snapped. Here I am, being openly mocked, being treated like trash. The silent snickering and the grinning adults. The hushed whispering. 
 
 I took a steak knife and lodged it deep into the Boss's shoulder, there was a sudden silence quickly followed by a piercing howl of pain from my boss and screams of terror as people bolted for the doors. 
 
 `` I quit''. 
 
 Hours later, sitting in the holding cell at the local station. 
 
 `` Officer, I'd like to make my phone call now.'' 
 
 What's the worst that could happen, I called the number on the letter and everything else went by in a flash. I was pardoned and moved to their facility, I took their aptitude test, a physical checkup and ate enough different pills to call it dinner. 
 
 They looked me into a room, no different than a cell I thought. That was before the drugs kicked in. 
 
 I felt like I was physically being torn in half, I felt like vomiting, the feeling of rising bile was ever present, I twist and turned in pain, arcing my back. 
 
 This went on for hours? Minutes? I could n't tell, there was only pain. But at last the `` bile'' has reached my mouth. 
 
 I spat it out, a shapeless black mass, slightly translucent and wispy to the touch. I poked at it with my finger, to feel nothing. It parted like the morning fog. 
 
 Something about that as wrong, I felt happier then I did in years but it was n't right. Something was off, I felt off balance, emptier than ever even. 
 
 But I was too tired to care. I curled up on the floor and fell into a deep sleep. 
 
 The dreams came fast and weird, distorted even. Something was n't right about them. They were perfect in every way, I knew tat could n't have been right, where was the pain? 
 
 I saw memories of me with my childhood pet, of me cycling as a kid, but not one of them showed his death or my first fall. 
 
 Try as I might I could recall no sad memories, no painful memories nothing. 
 
 And I awoke. Standing beside me was a shadowy clone of me colored in grayscale. The words coming out of his mouth were distorted, sounds of someone trying to talk while screaming. Then came the wailing, you could feel the emotion in his voice, the pain. 
 
 And I realized what they had done. The split me. Neither of us were whole anymore, neither could exist apart from one another. 
 
 ( I'm a tad stumped on how to continue, I forgot what my ending was as I wrote the last 2 - 3 paragraphs. It's kinda messy now. )
