[ WP ] You have the ability to see ghosts . One day , one of them decided to tell you about their life .

I ’ ve been able to see ghosts for as long as I can remember. I realized 
 early on that I was the only one so I kept it to myself, and they 
 never really did anything so it wasn ’ t worth mentioning. They just 
 kind of drift around doing nothing, it ’ s creepy sometimes but you get 
 used to it. It was kind of comforting knowing I was never really 
 alone, but then one of them started talking to me. 
 
 
 “ Hey man, I know you can see me. ” The shadowy apparition said, its 
 voice sounded like gravel. 
 
 
 “ What? Holy shit, you can talk? ” I said startled at hearing one of them speak. 
 
 
 “ Of course I can talk, I ’ m a ghost, not a tree or some shit. ” 
 
 
 “ Wow, it ’ s just I ’ ve never seen one of you do anything except float 
 around and moan is all. ” 
 
 
 “ That ’ s cause I ’ ve been around way longer than those dipshits, I got 
 skills. Although I ’ ve never met one of you meat screamers that could 
 see us. ” 
 
 
 “ Me neither. How did you know I could see you? ” I asked genuinely curious. 
 
 
 “ Easy, you watch us move sometimes. It ’ s subtle but I spotted it, I ’ ve 
 been watching you a lot Randy. ” 
 
 
 “ My name isn ’ t Randy. ” 
 
 “ Whatever Randy, you should be more concerned with what I ’ ve seen you 
 doing. You like some weird porn man, might want to call a head 
 shrinker about that. ” The ghost shuddered. 
 
 
 “ Uh, ha-ha, so why are you talking to me anyway? ” I laughed nervously 
 trying to change the subject. 
 
 
 “ Well I figured I ’ d tell you my life story since we are going to be 
 working together. ” The ghost made a noise that sounded like it was 
 clearing its throat and continued. “ A long time ago… ” 
 
 
 “ Wait. Working together? ” I interrupted. 
 
 
 “ Yeah, fuck. Let me finish and it will make sense. ” The ghost said annoyed. 
 
 
 “ Ok, sorry. ” 
 
 
 “ A long time ago I was an alive person, I must have killed like a 
 hundred people or more. My name was… well, shit. I don ’ t remember, 
 let ’ s say Randy. I was from, fuck. I wan na say Europe? That sounds 
 right. My name was Randy, I was from Europe, and I killed a shit load 
 of people. The end. ” Randy the ghost from Europe said. 
 
 
 I was getting the impression that this ghost was insane, or just 
 really stupid, but it was interesting to talk to one so I dismissed 
 it. 
 
 
 “ What have you been doing since you were a ghost? ” I asked. 
 
 
 “ Haunting people, nothing else to do. So I ’ m gon na haunt you now. Get 
 ready to have the shit haunted out of you before I kill you with my 
 ghost powers. ” Randy said menacingly. 
 
 
 “ You ’ re going to kill me? ” I said shocked. “ I thought we would be friends. ” 
 
 
 “ It ’ s more of a work acquaintance thing, can ’ t get too close or the 
 haunting won ’ t work. I am excited to get some feedback for once 
 though. The ghosts of the people I kill never have much to say, kind 
 of rude really. ” 
 
 
 “ So you ’ ve killed people as a ghost? ” 
 
 
 “ Oh, lots and lots. It ’ s kind of my thing. ” Randy said proudly. 
 
 
 “ Like how many? ” I was getting nervous now. 
 
 
 “ Not sure, way more than I ever killed while I was alive. ” 
 
 
 “ Why? ” 
 
 
 “ Nothing else to do. ” Randy shrugged, as much as a ghost can at any rate. 
 
 
 “ How can you haunt me if I know you are doing it? ” 
 
 
 “ Well I ’ ll start with the classics, like pull the sheets off your bed 
 and crazy noises and shit. ” 
 
 
 “ I don ’ t think that stuff will scare me if I know it ’ s coming. ” I said. 
 
 
 “ Oh it will. There you are sleeping and bam! Sheets on the floor, 
 you ’ re cold and confused. What happened? What ’ s that noise, is it a 
 crying baby? It is! ” 
 
 
 I was having my doubts about this ghost. 
 
 
 “ That ’ s just a taste, it get worse. You come downstairs all sleep 
 deprived and what ’ s that? All the cupboards are open and the chairs 
 are stacked up on the kitchen table! ” 
 
 
 “ That sounds kind of lame. ” I said. 
 
 
 “ It ’ s not lame. You have to close all those doors and put all the 
 chairs back, it ’ ll be a huge pain in the ass. Then when you finally 
 get done… hey, you hear that?'' 
 
 
 `` Hear what?'' 
 
 
 A baby starts crying from somewhere in the house 
 
 
 `` What the fuck? I do n't have a baby!'' 
 
 
 `` Or do you? GHOST BABY! Works every time. ” The ghost gloated. 
 
 
 “ I ’ ll be honest with you Randy, this sounds more annoying than anything else. ” 
 
 
 “ It only escalates from there! Hey, is that the wind moving your 
 curtains... or dead Japanese girl?'' 
 
 
 `` Dude if it's a dead Japanese girl I swear to god.'' 
 
 
 `` Spoiler alert, dead Japanese girl!'' Randy laughed. 
 
 
 All in all it didn ’ t sound that bad, kind of creepy but at least I 
 wouldn ’ t get bored. 
 
 
 “ Oh, by the way, I need you to pick up a Ouija board on the way home 
 from work tomorrow. Bring some friends too, it ’ ll be awesome! ” 
 
 
 “ You going to make it freak out and start on fire or something? ” I asked. 
 
 
 Randy let out an evil chuckle, “ I wouldn ’ t want to spoil the surprise. ” 
 
 
 “ So fire then, I ’ ll pick up a fire extinguisher as well. Anything else 
 I should grab? ” 
 
 
 “ Some black candles would be good for when the exorcist comes, that 
 will save you a few bucks. Those guys are designed to suck money out 
 of you. Oh! You ’ ll want to pick up some cameras to record shit at 
 night so we can go over it and make suggestions and stuff. ” 
 
 
 “ But if you ’ re going to kill me why would I want to do any of this? ” 
 
 
 “ I ’ m trying to be polite here fella. Yes, I ’ m going to kill you. But 
 that doesn ’ t mean we can ’ t enjoy our time together! ” 
 
 
 “ I ’ m going to move out. ” 
 
 
 “ That won ’ t help, I can go wherever I want. You ’ re fucked buddy. Just 
 relax, enjoy the haunting and guess what? ” 
 
 
 I waited for him to talk and when it didn ’ t come I sighed, “ What? ” 
 
 
 “ When you are a ghost I ’ ll take you under my wing and show you how the 
 haunting and murdering game works. How ’ s that sound pal? ” 
 
 
 “ I don ’ t want to murder anyone. ” I said truthfully. 
 
 
 “ That ’ ll change once you ’ re a ghost probably. Oh man! What ’ s that 
 behind you!? ” Randy said pointing. 
 
 
 I didn ’ t look and Randy just kept pointing. 
 
 
 “ Come on, just look. It ’ s neat. ” 
 
 
 I reluctantly turned around to see my walls bleeding, it was pretty 
 neat. I turned back to Randy and gave him an impressed nod. 
 
 
 “ Yeah, that ’ s one of my favorites. Anyway, time to be hitting the old 
 dusty haunting trail. I ’ ll see you around, but you won ’ t see me! ” 
 Randy started to fade away. 
 
 
 “ Wait! ” I shouted. 
 
 
 Randy stopped fading, “ What? ” 
 
 
 “ How much time do I have before you kill me? ” I asked. 
 
 
 “ That would spoil the surprise, besides, you might already be dead. ” 
 Randy laughed and faded away completely. 
 
 
 “ I don ’ t feel dead. ” I said to myself poking my chest to make sure. 
 
 
 “ You ’ re not! ” The radio said. “ It was a trick! You are haunted! ” 
 
 
 That was a relief. I settled down to be haunted and eventually killed by Randy. 
 
 
 “ You want to watch a movie? ” I asked the dead Japanese girl behind the curtains. 
 
 
 “ Godzilla. ” She whispered. 
 
 
 “ Look Who ’ s Talking! ” The ghost baby shouted from upstairs. 
 
 
 “ Randy? ” I asked. 
 
 
 “ Road House. ” The TV said turning on Road House. 
 
 
 “ Road House it is. ” I said. 
 
 
 The dead Japanese girl hissed and the ghost baby started crying, being 
 haunted was going to be a pain in the ass. 

