[ WP ] When a person dies , they sing their favorite song until they 're physically unable to .

I'm gon na throw my hat in on this one, if that's acceptable:3 
 
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 Audience members, Radio Jockies, Culture Vultures, theres' a million street names for cops like me. Huh... guess I should stop saying that... guess I'm still not used to this retirement thing. I understand why theres' so many of'em though. Weeks of my life have been spent listening to stiffs rasp on and on til the cart pullers hauled them off. You want to hear something what was yelled at me once? `` Ya'll mothafucka's turned that nigga into a jukebox!'' You see, standard issue 9mm bullets where nicknamed `` quarters'' back in the 90's and... well... you get where that sprung up. 
 
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 I swear I'm not a racist but you start seeing patterns in thug musical appreciation after a while, ya know? Black guys always sputtering off raps better then they ever could alive, Mexicans always sound they're in a mariachi band, and can you guess what those Koreans' sing? K-pop. Never knew what that was until I was transferred up to the East end. Lots' of those types out there. 
 
 But your not here to listen to me talk about what I did on a day to day basis are you? You wan na know why I'm sitting here wearing jeans and a robe instead of a badge and a uniform. That's fine, I can tell by the way you're tapping your fingers. Do n't worry, I'm getting there. 
 
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 Anyway, so there I was. Sitting in my cruiser on a Thursday afternoon. A call came over the radio stating that my presence was requested for a `` warrant distribution'' at a house on Rainbow avenue. Which in Cop speak meant we were gon na be hauling away a bunch of assholes that did n't want to be hauled away. I had to head to the station where they wrapped my ass in swat gear. 
 
 Before we left I called my wife to tell her I loved her, because I knew that this would be a very dangerous situation. `` I do n't care if you're walking into hell itself, you call me before you go so my last words to you are n't about coffee creamer!'' is what she said to me when we got engaged. God I love her. She's tickled pink that I'm off the force. Ca n't blame her for that, I kinda wish she'd stop being coy about it but whatever. 
 
 House on rainbow avenue, 20 men clad in modern battle armor wielding weapons that could drop a man at 80 yards, scattered up on every entrance of that sum bitch. The order goes out, we burst in, less than 50 seconds later we're hauling fully grown men out of the place in cuffs. Some of them are fightin' and bitin', others are quivering like little bitches. All in all there were 12 of them. It was considered a clean distribution and we all patted ourselves on the back. 
 
 I got stuck with rake duty with 4 other guys, we had to go back in and see if there was n't anybody hiding in the rafters or in the walls so that the CSI could scrub down the place in peace. Top floor clear, 2nd floor clear, 1st floor clear, basement... was clear at first. The other guys rushed up the stairs wanting to head back to the station on a job well done while I stayed behind admiring the old crap down there. 
 
 That's when I heard it. 
 
 I paused and looked around. I held down some of my equipment so the rustling would n't be a distraction. 
 
 Heard it again. 
 
 Took off my helmet and held my breath. It was to my left. I tip toed over a few feet til I hit the wall. 
 
 Still heard it. That's when I realized it was coming from beneath me. I move my hand over the ground until I found what I was looking for... loose planks. I rip them off and shine my flashlight down the hole beneath them. 
 
 *Row Row Row your boat, gently down the stream... * 
 
 I felt my chest seize. My head was suddenly weightless and I could n't see straight. One second I was down the basement, the next I was out front reporting I found to my superior, the second after that is a little hazy though. For some crazy reason I thought I had actually laid my hands on the men that were in our custody... repeatedly... but my associates set me straight about how that did n't happen. 
 
 But... that's it really. That evening I walked up to my captain and gave him my notice of departure. He said OK. 
 
 And here I am. Hope that's a good story for you. Sorry I filled up so much of your tape with my bullshit rambling. But hey, I'll get better at it. 
 
 I am retired after all.
