[ WP ] After hundreds of years of idleness the Magic Mirror from Snow White comes to life after being hung in the washroom of a club .

`` Christ, what a night,'' Pete mumbled to himself as he splashed water on his face in the bar's bathroom. Shelly, his best friend's girlfriend, was having her 21st birthday party outside, and he was five tequila shots in. He had n't even wanted to go out tonight. Mentally, he listed all the reasons he wished he'd rather be home. 
 1. Shelly was a wreck when she drank, and it rubbed off on other people. Including Pete. 
 2. Nicholas, his best friend, was 28, and the age difference really gave Pete the creeps. He'd subtly brought it up in conversation before, dropping words like `` predatory'' and stuff, but either the couple did n't pick up on it or they did n't care. Either way, it was worrying. 
 3. He had just settled in to watch Luke Cage all in one go when his phone rang and Nicholas pulled the you're-my-best-friend-it-would-be-boring-without-you card. 
 4. He had work in two days. He needed a day to get over his hangover and then a day to actually relax and enjoy his weekend. But no. They had to have this shit on a Saturday. 
 
 He scrubbed his face again and scowled at the mirror. It was absurdly ornate for a dive bar's men's bathroom. `` Who's the fairest of them all,'' he chuckled to himself. 
 
 He almost shit himself when the mirror answered. 
 
 `` Sure as fuck ai n't you, bud.'' 
 
 `` What the fuck?'' 
 
 `` Pretty sure you heard me.'' 
 
 Pete stumbled backwards and into the wall behind him.'I'm drunk,' he thought,'but I'm not this drunk.' He looked around for another person, which was stupid, and then for a microphone or a hole in the wall. 
 
 `` What are you looking for?'' came an exasperated voice. 
 
 `` You,'' he spat back. 
 
 `` I'm literally right in front of you.'' 
 
 He stared at the mirror again. ``.....what?'' 
 
 `` Oh for fuck's sake, do I have to spell it out for you?'' It paused, then chuckled. `` Ha. Spell.'' Pete did n't answer. `` I'm the mirror. You know the stupid story, you said the stupid line.'' 
 
 `` I -- the Snow White thing?'' 
 
 `` No,'Christ what a night.' Yes, the Snow White thing!'' If it had hands, Pete figured it would have thrown them up in the air. `` My god. Are you always this dense?'' 
 
 `` So... You're the enchanted mirror?'' 
 
 `` Yeah, well, do n't go around telling everybody. I like it here. Looking at people like you makes me feel a lot better about my situation.'' 
 
 `` What's that supposed to mean?'' 
 
 `` Oh I think you know damn well what it means.'' 
 
 Suddenly there was a banging on the other side of the door -- not a knock, a banging. Pete wanted to crawl into bed and deal with whatever the fuck what going on. Or, even better! Not deal with it at all. He left the bathroom and heard chuckling from behind him. `` Good fucking luck, man,'' he slurred to the guy who'd banged on the door.
