[ WP ] I spent my days learning to feel less , until one day I felt nothing at all .

Too much. My head pounds with words and feelings. My life could be so much worse but I'm still here bending and breaking under these stupid emotions. They haunt me and stop me from acting the way I want, the way I can in life. Every word goes through this filter of fear. I feel discomfort when they look at me with unsure eyes. Its enough that i doubt myself. And even if they do n't look at me like that now, it's just because they're naive and have n't seen me as I really am. My expectations become reduced to a painful grasping at emptiness. 
 
 For the longest time I feared this emptiness, this void. But it seems the more I feared it, the darker the feelings and thoughts became. Spinning a soft web of self destruction, suicide became the focus of my disturbed internal mechanism for living. My emotions were telling me their truths, but their truths were all wrong. I began to embrace the disintegration of emotions. I would rather see in gray than live this way. 
 
 So I began looking for the source of emotion. The expectations that led me to feel certain ways. The reactions I looked over because I was too caught up in the feelings. I began to breathe, consciously breathe. I saw the world with new light. Emotion still rose and fell, but I learned to ride the ephemeral wave. I feel free
