[ WP ] You own a magical wallet which always has exactly the right amount of money that you will need that day . One morning you open it to find 10 million dollars inside .

`` OK, let's see what we're dealing with today.'' Mitch dug his hand in to the wallet pulling out a wad of money that flowed like a series of clowns leaving a small car. After a while, he realised he was dealing with ten million dollars. Without a moments hesitation, he knew exactly what the money was for. 
 
 
 People around America sat in their homes, clad in their team colours ( if they were playing ), watching the TV accompanied with friends and an obscene amount of food when Mitch appeared. 
 
 
 “ Hello, America. Have you ever woken up to ten million dollars and thought ‘ I ’ m going to pay for my own Superbowl ad? ’ Of course you have. Well now so have I. 
 
 
 Rather than bore you with some boring corporate advert, I ’ m here to give you some life tips. Going to help you out, America. Mitch is here to help you out. 
 
 
 Tip # 1: Soak all your paperwork in tea, burn the edges and sign your name with a skull to give your boss the illusion you have been hard at work since 1748. 
 
 
 Tip # 2: When you ’ re at a seafood restaurant, hold the muscles you ordered up your ear and you can hear the ‘ c. ’ 
 
 
 Tip # 3: In the case of a house fire, simply stand in and turn on the shower and wait for it to die down. 
 
 
 Tip # 4: Prove your professionalism by wearing two ties to business meetings you're not invited to.'' 
 
 
 A muffled voice could be heard speaking from behind the camera, “ 6 seconds left, Mr. Murphy. ” 
 
 
 “ Wait that ’ s all I get for ten mi.. ” 
 
 
 **** 
 
 I write shitty, silly stories on /r/BillMurrayMovies. Feel free to come along, not laugh at any of them and leave some judgement.
