[ WP ] Write about something that is disgusting or ugly in such a way that it becomes something beautiful -- without using the 'beautiful inside ' cliche .

A bodily caramel-brown baby nestled as tight as a Christmas gift rested on my asshole neighbor ’ s lawn ( no pun intended ). And it was from me this time. I wanted him to know to stay away from my dog. 
 
 In my life, I ’ ve had plenty of dogs, but none like Chaz. Chaz the spaz. He ’ s a giant Great Dane, all black with white spots. Every time I come home from work, Chaz jumps up and puts his arms on my shoulders. I ’ m so glad my ex hated him so I got to keep him. 
 
 Now Chaz has a healthy appetite. He ’ s huge and can eat about the same amount as I can and I ’ m no Chihuahua myself. Takes about half my paycheck to feed him and more to pay for my fence. 
 
 I have a treeless, crappy backyard with a brokendown fence. Plus the fence is like five feet high. Chaz the spaz, God knows how, manages to jump over it sometimes, and the first thing he does? Takes smooth, boa constrictor-like intestinal exodus onto my old neighbor Herb ’ s lawn. 
 
 I clean these towering tan mountains down as soon as my little boy makes ‘ um, but of course, some slip through the cracks. Herb lets me know, over and over, and I work during the day, so it ’ s hard to find them. I always apologize. But not this time. 
 I found cheese with glass shards in it. In the backyard. Enjoy Herb! 

