Jess, a London girl of Indian extraction, leaps above Anderlecht and scores! Becks gives the diminutive striker a hug and Gary Linneker declares her the future of English football. So begins this shiny happy fun ride. Though "Bend It" relies on quick cut football scenes designed to hide the actors' lack of skill, the culture clashing is amusing enough to see Jess through to her final triumph. She buys boots on the sly, juggles a cabbage, and avoids learning to cook a proper Indian meal. As her parents busily prepare for an older sister's traditional wedding, Jess slips out to the training ground where she catches the eye of the coach. Indian girl, Irish boy, . . . oh my, the post-colonialism. A not quite so bizarre love triangle develops with all the attendant complications. It's nothing that a swerving free kick can't fix. If you love treacly endings and have always wondered what England looks like in the sunshine, "Bend It" is your cup of chai.