Different folks get different things from this book. We got a new family. I'm amazed that some people think this book is about letting difficult kids do whatever they want. Such a view misses the point completely, although it's true: when you have an explosive child, there are some things you just have to let go (that you wouldn't let go with an ordinary child). But this book is mostly about helping adults teach explosive kids how to problem-solve more effectively and tolerate frustration more adaptively. It's hard work...but well worth the effort! My kid is proof!