Boss understands the ongoing trauma of living with someone who is there/not there and by explaining it, helps us feel a little better. After years of being told to "hate the illness, not the person" with mentally ill siblings or "that's not really your father talking" (cancer/dementia), I found this book extremely validating and helpful with my own work. - Clea Simon, author "Fatherless Women: How We Change After We Lose Our Dads" (Wiley) and "Mad House: Growing Up in the Shadow of Mentally Ill Siblings" (Penguin)